liveshow Episode #430 Aug 3, 2024 01:34:46
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Transcript

Dan McCoy
[0:00] On this episode, we discuss the Garbage Pail Kids, live from Brooklyn, New York!
[0:30] That was a hot one.
Stuart Wellington
[0:40] It was a hot one.
[0:41] You picked up your cue perfectly.
[0:43] Thanks for heating up.
Dan McCoy
[0:45] Hello, we are the Flophouse Podcast.
[0:47] We are a podcast where we watch a movie that is purportedly bad, and then we report back to you.
Elliott Kalan
[0:54] Let's leave some wiggle room, Dan, just in case.
Dan McCoy
[0:58] And to introduce myself, I'm Dan McGoy.
[1:01] I'm Stuart Wellington.
Elliott Kalan
[1:03] I'm Elliot Kalin, and joining us, we have a very special guest from a much more popular podcast.
[1:08] That's right, introduce yourself, sir.
[1:10] I'm Grippin' Griffin Newman.
[1:12] Oh!
Stuart Wellington
[1:15] We really should have prepped that bit ahead of time, where we all had cool names.
Dan McCoy
[1:19] For the listener at home, a reference to apparently the only Griffin-themed Garbage Pail Kid.
Stuart Wellington
[1:25] I can't believe there wasn't one where it was like a Griffin-like monster.
Griffin Newman
[1:29] No, and there's no Gryffindor, there's no Peter Griffin, there's no...
[1:33] Grippin' Griffin is the only one.
[1:35] And he's a fucking wrench with a face.
Elliott Kalan
[1:38] But whose teeth are being broken by being used for his purpose, which is to remove a bolt.
[1:43] He literally eats nuts, is what he does.
[1:46] That's how much he sucks.
[1:47] Well, I mean...
[1:48] It's a good source of protein.
Dan McCoy
[1:49] To be fair, the human tooth is not meant to be a wrench.
[1:52] So, you know, give him a little...
[1:54] Learn something here.
[1:55] Yeah.
[1:55] Okay.
[1:56] I'm just gonna back away a little bit.
Stuart Wellington
[1:58] So we watched...
[1:59] This is a movie that we have talked about quite a bit, and Griffin had been texting me, I feel like, almost every week, saying,
[2:07] Are we doing Garbage Pail Kids?
[2:08] Are you doing Garbage Pail Kids?
[2:10] Is anyone doing Garbage Pail Kids?
Dan McCoy
[2:12] How can I see Garbage Pail Kids again?
Elliott Kalan
[2:15] Now, this is a movie...
[2:15] Do you have to take children and put them into Garbage Pails to make this happen?
Stuart Wellington
[2:19] And this is a movie that I...
[2:21] Like, I loved the Garbage Pail Kids when I was a child.
[2:24] And I was fascinated by the concept that there was a movie.
[2:27] But my mother, possibly wisely, was like, you're not allowed to watch that.
[2:32] And it wasn't like...
[2:33] It was also a thing that I had heard about or I saw in the back of, like, Mad Magazine or something.
[2:37] But it didn't, like, play in the movie theater near me.
Dan McCoy
[2:41] Yeah.
[2:41] Can I ask a fundamental question about this?
[2:45] It's a very small thing, but garbage...
[2:47] What a movie is?
[2:49] Yeah.
[2:51] A flicker.
[2:52] Garbage Pail.
[2:53] Flicker, you said, right?
[2:54] Flicker, yeah.
[2:55] Garbage Pail.
[2:56] Garbage Pail.
[2:56] Is this a thing that people say, or did they just put pail in there because it's closer to hatch?
[3:01] Midwestern Dan over here never heard of a garbage pail.
[3:04] Is that...
[3:05] I mean, it's like a garbage can, right?
[3:07] Like, that's what we're being shown.
[3:08] Garbage is just an old way of saying trash can.
[3:11] Yeah, garbage pail.
[3:12] Garbage pail?
[3:12] Garbage pail, yeah.
[3:13] Garbage pail.
[3:13] I just didn't know whether it was an actual thing or whether it was just...
Griffin Newman
[3:16] Well, it's not, like, pail and patch are that close.
[3:20] I mean, they could have done garbage can, kid, and people still, I think, would have gotten it.
[3:24] I think pail was just...
[3:25] There was a little...
[3:26] It's got a little flair to it.
Dan McCoy
[3:27] There's a little pizzazz to it.
[3:28] Yeah, yeah.
[3:28] A pail.
[3:29] Yeah.
[3:29] You put a gross thing in a pail.
[3:31] Yeah.
[3:31] Yeah, okay.
Griffin Newman
[3:33] I mean, unless it's a munch pail.
[3:33] Yeah, that makes sense.
[3:35] A can is for, like, responsible disposal, and a pail is for boogers, vomit.
[3:41] Yeah.
[3:42] Exactly.
[3:42] Because a pail...
Elliott Kalan
[3:43] I have to assume a pail is an open top...
[3:46] Yeah.
[3:47] ...holder.
[3:47] Yeah.
[3:48] Yeah.
[3:48] So these kids can just...
[3:49] And their sputum or whatever can just crawl right out.
[3:52] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[3:52] Guys, thank you for taking that trip with me.
[3:54] Even if perhaps it wasn't the most, you know...
[3:56] Necessary.
[3:57] Necessary trip.
[3:58] I found it rewarding.
[3:59] Okay, good.
Elliott Kalan
[4:00] Now, I want to say...
[4:01] That's all the matters, right?
[4:02] Stuart, I saw this movie when I was a kid.
[4:03] Not in the theaters, unfortunately.
[4:05] Which is surprising.
[4:06] In a screening room.
[4:07] Yeah, in a private screening room.
[4:08] I was invited to an industry screening event as a child.
[4:12] I saw it probably on HBO, because I saw it uncut on TV.
[4:15] And I have to admit, my memory was not of being like,
[4:19] Oh, what is this?
[4:20] The same way it was when I watched Nothing But Trouble on HBO as a kid.
[4:22] I think this movie washed over me,
[4:25] entered the store of knowledge in my head,
[4:28] and I felt no need to comment on it or think about it.
[4:31] And it's only as an adult, watching it again,
[4:33] that I'm like,
[4:34] What the hell is going on in this movie?
[4:36] Like, it should have traumatized me.
[4:38] And yet, I don't know what was going on in my home life at the time.
[4:40] The Garbage Pail Kids was somehow an escape from that.
Griffin Newman
[4:44] I think I saw this movie on VHS.
[4:48] My older cousin, when I came of age...
[4:52] Let me sit you down and tell you about the...
Dan McCoy
[4:55] Garbage Pail Kids.
Griffin Newman
[4:57] Eight or nine...
[4:57] When Griffin, when you had your Garb Mitzvah...
[4:59] When I had my Garb Mitzvah...
[5:01] No, I think I was like...
[5:03] Eight or nine, and my older cousin,
[5:07] who maybe his...
[5:08] I don't know, his parents were cleaning out the basement.
[5:11] He gifted me his entire Garbage Pail Kids collection...
[5:15] Oh, nice.
[5:15] ...of cards, of the stickers,
[5:17] which was fairly complete.
[5:19] I became very obsessive, and...
[5:22] You were obsessed about that?
[5:23] I know.
[5:24] There was one website that I think was called GPKWorld.net,
[5:28] that was like a Geocities-style page.
[5:31] That was the one...
Dan McCoy
[5:32] I got a virus just hearing that.
[5:34] You're...
[5:34] It was like the one resource that had Garbage Pail Kids information,
Griffin Newman
[5:42] because I became obsessed with cataloging these cards
[5:45] and trying to figure out what cards I was missing.
[5:48] In the early days of eBay trying to buy individual cards to like...
[5:52] Or there was a store in the Lower East Side called Love Saves the Day that used to exist.
[5:55] Yeah, yeah, I remember this.
[5:56] That used to have like a ton of Garbage Pail Kids on the desk.
[5:58] I was constantly like...
[5:59] I'd carry around a little notebook in my backpack with the cards I was missing to try to fill it in.
[6:05] Please tell me...
Dan McCoy
[6:06] I honestly admire the organization.
Elliott Kalan
[6:08] Yeah.
[6:08] Please tell me you had a rival collector
[6:11] who you were trying to chase down the cards before he could get them.
Griffin Newman
[6:14] The way like all Garbage Pail Kids cards had two names.
[6:17] There was an A and a B.
[6:18] Yeah, yeah.
[6:18] So there was like Grippin Griffin and Wrenchy...
[6:22] Ricky or whatever.
[6:23] Wrenchy Reggie.
[6:24] Yeah.
[6:24] Fucking...
[6:24] Yeah.
[6:25] Yeah.
[6:26] But I remember saying to people as a child like,
[6:29] my greatest goal in life is to complete my Garbage Pail Kids collection before I go off to college.
Elliott Kalan
[6:40] Here's what I like about it.
[6:41] Yeah.
[6:42] You're at least not...
[6:43] My number one greatest...
[6:44] At least it's not your life goal.
[6:45] No.
[6:46] Before I shuffle off this mortal coil.
[6:48] No.
[6:48] There was some feeling of, look, when I go off to college, it'll be time to put away childish things.
Griffin Newman
[6:52] Yeah, yeah.
[6:53] But I need to resolve this right before that moment.
[6:56] At which point I clearly will become incredibly mature and never talk about Garbage Pail Kids ever.
[7:01] Ever.
[7:01] Again.
[7:02] Won't figure into your professional life in any way.
Elliott Kalan
[7:04] Won't own a hat or a t-shirt representing the brand.
[7:07] No, no, no, no.
Stuart Wellington
[7:09] Won't show up to college and be like, is there a way that I can minor in Garbage Pail Kids?
[7:12] No, no, no.
[7:13] I'll major in Garbage Pail Kids.
Elliott Kalan
[7:16] So I made my own major in Garbage Pail Kids studies.
[7:19] I'll minor in Dinosaur's Attack.
Griffin Newman
[7:23] But this website, I think, had like a page, because it would like tell you other merchandise and stuff like that.
[7:28] And then there was like a page that said, the movie.
[7:30] And I was like, what the fuck are you talking?
[7:32] Click on that.
[7:33] And it was just really the poster.
[7:35] My memory, there weren't even images of it.
[7:37] Good.
[7:37] And I like ran to my parents.
[7:40] And I was sort of like, how did you not tell me this existed?
[7:44] And they were like, that exists?
Stuart Wellington
[7:46] It's a real blast from the past situation.
[7:48] Right.
Griffin Newman
[7:49] How have you been keeping this for me?
[7:51] Found a video store that had a copy, devoured it, and was like, this is good.
[7:56] This movie makes sense.
[7:58] That was my immediate takeaway.
[8:01] Because I think on the website, it even said like, critically reviled, box office disaster, barely released.
[8:08] And I watched it, and I was like, I don't under, this thing tracks for me from beginning to end.
[8:12] I get it.
[8:13] Very consistent chain of logic.
[8:15] To the degree that it was, it was in the limited selection of movies that I feel like I watched by myself,
[8:20] and then I knocked on my brother's door, and I was like, you gotta come watch this.
[8:23] Yeah.
[8:24] And then just rewound the tape, did it a second time.
Elliott Kalan
[8:26] I mean, I understand.
[8:27] I did that with a friend and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
[8:30] Yeah.
[8:31] Where I watched it, I rented it from the video store, and I literally stopped it halfway through the movie,
[8:35] and I said, I have to show my friend this.
[8:36] Yes.
[8:36] And I rewound to the beginning.
[8:38] And both those movies are roughly accepted the same.
[8:40] I remember classics of comedy.
Griffin Newman
[8:42] I remember doing that with Monty Python and the Meaning of Life,
[8:44] Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and the Garbage Pail Kids movie.
[8:47] It has stopped the presses.
[8:49] Other people must know.
[8:50] And I think I eventually...
Elliott Kalan
[8:51] You're just running out in the streets going, have you heard about this?
[8:54] Yeah.
[8:54] It's like the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but you're excited about it.
[8:58] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[8:58] I don't think I ever even owned it on VHS, but I rented it so many different times.
[9:03] Like, I went back to it.
[9:05] Yeah.
[9:05] And then it finally was released...
[9:06] It bears revisiting, yeah.
[9:07] Yeah.
[9:08] It finally was released on DVD, like, late 2000s, and then Shout Factory put out a Blu-ray release.
[9:12] But I actually had not watched it again in a while.
[9:15] It was probably watching it, like, ten times.
[9:18] By the time I was, like, 14 or 15, then I think I was aware, like, this is, like, a funny thing to show people.
Elliott Kalan
[9:24] I, like, get that this is, like, fucked up.
[9:27] When did you...
[9:27] Did you ever try to show it to your parents?
[9:30] Yeah.
[9:31] And how did that go?
[9:33] I was put up for adoption.
Dan McCoy
[9:36] They did a DNA test.
[9:38] Left in a pail outside of Anthony Newley's magic store.
[9:41] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[9:41] I remember, like, pointing and being, like, you get it?
[9:43] This is funny.
[9:44] And the kind of thing my dad would do, we would go, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[9:49] Hello, man with butterfly necks.
[9:55] So the movie opens with credits.
[9:57] Yeah.
[9:59] Notably, a credit for the Topps Chewing Gum production.
[10:02] Yeah.
[10:03] I think this is their only film.
Griffin Newman
[10:05] Yeah, I think so.
[10:06] There's IMDb trivia, you know, which is often user-submitted and hard to verify.
[10:11] Does it have a trivia fact that this is the first movie ever based on stickers?
[10:17] I don't know.
[10:18] Let's check it out, yeah.
[10:19] I don't know.
[10:19] We can still...
[10:20] That has to go to the judges.
Elliott Kalan
[10:21] We were trying to think if there was another movie based on a collectible card.
[10:25] Other than Mars Attacks.
[10:25] Other than Mars Attacks.
[10:27] Mars Attacks.
[10:28] But it was Guardia Ficcats and Mars Attacks.
[10:29] We're trying to think if there's another one.
[10:30] They never made a Dinosaur Attacks movie.
[10:32] They never did.
[10:33] Which is good.
[10:33] Because I would have watched that as a kid.
[10:34] And those cards scared me enough.
Griffin Newman
[10:35] That was the original plan when they got the Mars Attacks rights, was that Tim Burton was going to do
[10:40] Mars Attacks and Dinosaurs Attack back-to-back.
[10:43] And America voted...
[10:44] Back-to-back Britain Attack.
[10:44] Back-to-back Attack.
[10:46] America voted no.
[10:48] Yeah.
[10:48] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[10:50] So we get title cards flying at the screen over space.
[10:56] And there's like a garbage can spaceship, which has nothing to do with the movie.
Elliott Kalan
[11:00] At no point are they...
[11:01] I think it is heavily implied that they are from outer space and they arrived in this garbage can.
[11:05] It is never stated.
[11:07] No.
[11:07] It is never...
[11:08] Yeah.
[11:09] We just see it floating through space.
[11:10] And the next time we see it, it's an Anthony Newley's...
[11:12] It's visual.
[11:13] Storytelling.
[11:13] What are you talking...
Griffin Newman
[11:14] It's visuals.
[11:14] That's why the shot exists.
Elliott Kalan
[11:16] It's to let us know.
[11:17] They're giving the audience credit that we can put it together.
[11:20] They're somehow aliens with an understanding of 50s greaser culture.
Dan McCoy
[11:24] Well, I mean, it also is implied that they landed long ago and Anthony Newley has kept them
[11:30] in this pale prisoners because he is some sort of ageless Merlin figure or something.
[11:35] Yes.
Griffin Newman
[11:35] He knows magic.
[11:36] Yeah.
[11:37] Stuart, not to halt you before you're even one line down on your cards.
[11:40] But I do think we need to dig into this deeper.
Elliott Kalan
[11:43] But no.
[11:43] So here's...
[11:44] Because the pale...
[11:45] The thing this movie is missing is a shot of images of the Garbage Pail Kids throughout time.
[11:50] They're in hieroglyphics.
[11:51] One of them has an alligator head.
Stuart Wellington
[11:53] Old-timey black and white photos of them, like, kissing Forrest Gump on the asshole.
[11:57] Exactly, yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[11:59] Just like in the movie.
[12:01] Exactly, yeah.
[12:02] I think it's in the movie.
[12:03] It's what?
[12:03] JFK that does that?
Griffin Newman
[12:05] You want, like, a Transformers The Last Night style reveal of they've been here longer than
[12:10] we thought.
[12:10] Exactly.
Elliott Kalan
[12:11] There's a tapestry with the Garbage Pail Kids and a unicorn is laying its head in their
[12:14] laps.
Griffin Newman
[12:14] They were working with Harriet Tubman.
[12:16] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[12:16] I mean, I do honestly...
[12:18] That's actually in Transformers The Last Night.
[12:20] They're on the moon landing, no spacesuits.
[12:22] They don't need it.
[12:23] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[12:23] I do honestly admire the degree to which this movie has no interest in explaining to you
[12:29] who the Garbage Pail Kids are or why they're here.
[12:31] I want to dig into this.
[12:32] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[12:33] So the Garbage Pail is both their transportation device but also their prison.
[12:37] Yes.
[12:38] Yes.
Elliott Kalan
[12:38] So it's implied inside the Garbage Pail must be some sort of...
[12:42] They're like a genie.
[12:42] Yes.
[12:42] It's like a tesseract.
[12:44] It's some kind of infinite dimension that they can all fit in.
[12:47] Right.
[12:47] But it's still strong enough that if you put something on top of the lid, they cannot get
[12:52] out.
[12:52] Well, but here's another thing.
Griffin Newman
[12:53] You go like, okay, well, it's a normal size...
[12:55] Because from the opening establishing shop, right?
Elliott Kalan
[12:58] It could be huge.
[12:58] It could be the International Space Station in the Garbage Canyon.
Griffin Newman
[13:00] Absolutely.
[13:01] Yeah.
[13:01] But then the can that's in Anthony...
[13:03] Yeah, get comfortable.
[13:04] Oh, wow.
[13:04] Okay.
[13:04] Yeah, take off your jacket.
Elliott Kalan
[13:05] I guess settle in.
[13:07] Give the people what they want.
Griffin Newman
[13:07] The can that is in Anthony Newley's shop...
[13:10] Yes.
[13:11] Which Occam's razor, we must assume, is the same can we see at the beginning of the film,
[13:15] perhaps.
Elliott Kalan
[13:15] It would be a breaking of film grammar to expect us to think it is two different cans.
Griffin Newman
[13:21] Thank you.
[13:21] Yes.
Elliott Kalan
[13:22] Much like Roger Ebert writes about...
[13:24] I mean, not anymore.
[13:25] He's not lying.
[13:26] Thank you for the clarification.
[13:28] He wrote about showing his students being there.
[13:31] And at the end, spoiler alert, you should see it's a great movie.
[13:33] Peter Sellers walks on water and his students saying, oh, there's probably some reason...
[13:37] There's like a thing he's walking on just under the water.
[13:39] And Roger Ebert said to them, you cannot add something that is not in the film.
[13:42] You have to take the film at its face value.
[13:45] So visually, we have to assume that's the same garbage can.
[13:48] Correct.
[13:48] We can't just say, oh, well, there's a spaceship garbage can and then they lost it.
Dan McCoy
[13:51] Pull out some David Bordwell film texts and just really break it down, you know?
[13:57] Yeah, yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[13:59] But they need magic to get them back in the garbage can, right?
Stuart Wellington
[14:04] Yeah, I mean, let's...
[14:05] I mean, that's like...
[14:06] That's...
[14:07] What's the actor's name?
[14:08] Anthony Newley.
[14:09] Yeah.
[14:09] Who plays Cap'n Manzini.
[14:11] Who's this like?
[14:12] If you're not familiar with him...
[14:13] He's kind of like queer-coded old wizard guy.
Griffin Newman
[14:15] Anthony Newley is very much the poor man's Dudley Moore.
Elliott Kalan
[14:17] Yeah.
[14:17] Like, he had his own career, big Broadway star.
[14:21] Yes.
[14:21] He's very much the poor man.
[14:22] You're watching it, you're like, I guess I couldn't get Dudley Moore for this role.
[14:24] And yet he'll be in Santa Claus, the movie.
Griffin Newman
[14:26] Anthony Newley's big thing was, like, poor man's Dudley Moore as an entertainer, but wildly successful as a songwriter.
[14:33] Yes.
[14:33] Wrote Pure Imagination for Willy Wonka?
[14:36] Yeah, yeah.
[14:36] Wrote, like...
Dan McCoy
[14:37] What Kind of Fool Am I is another one of his?
[14:39] Yes.
[14:39] That was the song.
[14:40] I thought you were asking.
[14:42] Off mic.
[14:43] Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[14:44] So Cap'n Manzini owns a antique shop...
[14:47] Oh, right, right, right.
[14:48] ...that where therein lies a garbage... a magic garbage can.
Griffin Newman
[14:52] Which, let's just clarify, is normal garbage can sized.
[14:56] If we're assuming it's the same can we saw at the beginning...
[14:59] No, you're right.
[14:59] ...you're surprised that it's not vehicle-sized.
Stuart Wellington
[15:02] I mean, it does occasionally squirt out, like, green ooze.
[15:05] Well, we can get that.
Elliott Kalan
[15:05] So here's my explanation for that again.
[15:07] I just said we can't add things from the movie, but I'm going to add things to the movie.
[15:10] Okay, the can is not a spaceship so much as it is a portal that is flung into space to other places
[15:16] where there's some kind of jaunt-style interdimension made of goo that they live within.
[15:23] Maybe they've been imprisoned there because they're horrible creatures.
[15:26] They've been cast out of their own society.
Griffin Newman
[15:27] You're asking the right questions because this is the interesting thing in the movie is that when you see the normal-sized can in Anthony Lee's shop...
[15:36] Captain Manzini's.
[15:36] Captain Manzini's.
[15:37] Captain Manzini's Mandolinia.
[15:39] Yeah.
[15:40] You're like, well, is it a TARDIS situation?
[15:43] Yes.
[15:43] Right?
[15:44] Or like Oscar the Grouch's can where somehow when you go inside the...
[15:47] Yeah, like Snoopy's doghouse.
Stuart Wellington
[15:49] Right.
[15:49] Exactly.
[15:49] Right.
[15:49] But I feel like Oscar the Grouch likes being in his can, whereas the Garbage Pail kids don't want to be in there.
[15:55] They want to get out of that can.
[15:55] So much so that they would prefer to be working in a basement sweatshop than in their can.
Elliott Kalan
[16:00] That tells me that...
[16:01] Yeah, they do work in a basement sweatshop.
[16:02] That tells me that the can is not really their natural habitat, unlike, say, Popeye, the sailor man who lives in a garbage can.
[16:07] Right.
[16:08] But they...
Dan McCoy
[16:09] How does he enjoy going swimming?
[16:11] How does what?
[16:12] How does he like to go swimming?
Elliott Kalan
[16:14] I don't remember how that one goes.
[16:16] I remember the part about he turned on a heater and burned off something.
[16:19] I don't know.
Stuart Wellington
[16:19] So there's a...
[16:21] In the opening, there's a moment where the Garbage Pail kids get loose, but we don't actually get full view of them.
[16:26] Do we want to talk about the individual?
[16:28] Yeah, we got to talk about the individual.
[16:30] Yeah, so there's...
[16:31] These are all classic GPKs.
[16:32] There are seven of them, and I believe these are all actual classic sticker card characters.
Griffin Newman
[16:36] Yeah, I think they might all even be series one characters.
[16:39] We have...
[16:40] Yeah, the OG GPKs, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[16:42] We have Alligator, who later on is described as the natural leader of the group.
Elliott Kalan
[16:47] Alligator is an alligator humanoid who eats human toes.
[16:52] Loves toes.
[16:52] And has a lunchbox full of toes and eyeballs.
[16:54] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[16:55] That he eats in this children's film.
[16:57] There's Wendy Winston, who farts.
[17:01] Farts a lot.
[17:02] There's Foul Phil, who's a baby who has smelly breath.
[17:05] Mm-hmm.
[17:06] Valerie Vomit, who only vomits once, I think.
[17:09] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[17:10] Well, she has to...
[17:11] It's like her superpower.
[17:12] She has to use it to defeat the ultimate enemies.
[17:13] It's the Chekhov's gun of the movie.
Griffin Newman
[17:15] Yeah.
[17:15] Because all the other characters, they do their gimmick early and often.
[17:18] Valerie Vomit saves it.
[17:20] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[17:20] You got messy Tessie, who's always dripping snot.
[17:24] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[17:24] She's kind of messy, I guess.
Stuart Wellington
[17:26] Must be like raising a kid these days, huh?
[17:28] It is.
Elliott Kalan
[17:29] They pick their noses, but they clean it because they eat it right there.
[17:31] These days.
[17:32] These days.
[17:33] It's all this TikTok.
[17:34] It over-emphasize, over-stimulates the nasal passages.
Dan McCoy
[17:39] We have Dan's favorite character, Nat Nerd, who urinates down his leg several times during
[17:45] the movie.
[17:46] And I think every time I yell, don't do that at the screen.
Elliott Kalan
[17:49] Now, he is Dan, but to be fair, he has to be a character who pees himself because he
[17:53] is covered in acne and also wears a Superman costume.
[17:56] So, of course, he's going to pee himself, too.
Stuart Wellington
[17:58] And then there's Greaser Greg, which I believe you can correct me.
[18:03] It was voiced by Andrew Dice-Claid.
[18:06] Greaser Greg's kind of your old-school badass.
Elliott Kalan
[18:09] Yeah, he's super cool.
[18:10] Greaser Greg is basically the Gorge from Sharpling and Worcester.
[18:13] Yes.
[18:14] But he threatens the child star of the movie with a switchblade more than once.
Stuart Wellington
[18:19] And speaking of that child star, we cut to a park where Dodger, played by Mackenzie
[18:24] Aston, is running away and then gets shaken down by a gang of toughs.
[18:29] Juice, Tangerine, Wally, and Blythe.
[18:32] Juice is the leader.
Dan McCoy
[18:33] Four names that have never occurred in nature together.
[18:35] No.
Elliott Kalan
[18:38] Yeah.
[18:38] Tell me about Juice, Elliot.
[18:40] Juice, he's the leader.
[18:41] He's your classic, I guess, outsider's, what, pony boy type?
[18:44] You know, he's...
[18:45] Similar.
[18:45] And he's also, like, kind of, like, pimp-coated, I guess?
[18:48] Yes.
[18:49] He is also...
[18:50] Well, he's a pimp if pimps stole the money that their charges got from selling homemade
[18:56] fashion.
[18:57] Yeah.
[18:57] So the love interest, she is a...
[19:01] Tangerine.
[19:02] Tangerine.
[19:02] She's a budding fashion designer.
[19:04] She makes clothes and then she sells them outside of the hot spots that the kids are hanging
[19:07] out at.
[19:07] And then Juice just shows up and steals the cigar box with the money in it.
[19:10] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[19:11] So this gang of toughs shakes down Dodger, again, a child, 14-year-old child.
[19:15] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[19:15] Who looks about 11, which is kind of a part of the key dynamic of this film.
[19:21] Yes.
Dan McCoy
[19:21] We should say, like, the actor and actress who play Dodger, Hero, and Tangerine are actually
[19:27] one year apart.
[19:28] Like, he's 14, she's 15 when this is made.
[19:31] They look like 11 and 18.
[19:33] Yes.
Elliott Kalan
[19:34] That's what happens with kids of that age, dude.
[19:37] Yeah.
[19:37] Never has the...
[19:37] Puberty's crazy.
[19:38] Never has the faster maturation of the female body seemed more...
[19:43] Sounds so gross when you say...
[19:44] Creepy and weird in a children's film.
Stuart Wellington
[19:49] Speaking of creepy and weird, one of the toughs picks...
Elliott Kalan
[19:51] Dan, I didn't invent the timeline that people...
Dan McCoy
[19:53] I'm not blaming you.
[19:54] I'm saying Garbage Pail Kids makes it feel really creepy because, like, they're like,
[19:59] let's make her look really old.
Elliott Kalan
[20:01] Also that she seems to live on her own.
[20:03] Like, she has a job.
Stuart Wellington
[20:04] She has a car.
[20:05] She has a car.
Dan McCoy
[20:06] Yeah.
[20:06] One of the toughs picks up Dodger, the kid, and...
Stuart Wellington
[20:09] They try to kill him.
[20:10] Holds him upside down, shaking him, doing, like, a standing 69.
[20:13] And I'm like, what's happening here, movie?
Griffin Newman
[20:15] I want to call out Juice's vibe for a moment because...
[20:19] Let's do it.
[20:19] Yeah, now's the time.
[20:20] A lot of bullies in classic kind of youth-based pictures, right?
[20:24] Or even in reality.
[20:26] The physical violence is sort of means to an end, right?
[20:30] Yeah.
[20:30] You want something out of the kid.
[20:32] Money.
[20:33] You want to create a sense of power, right?
[20:36] Yeah, feel superior.
[20:37] Because you're mad at yourself.
[20:38] Right.
[20:39] Juice almost seems to live for inflicting pain.
[20:43] Like, that is the point to him.
[20:45] Yeah, he's a sadist.
Elliott Kalan
[20:45] He's not like, I'm going to beat up this kid.
[20:47] He's like, throw him in the sewers, then open up the valves so that the water rushes in.
[20:52] Not to the murderer.
[20:53] Not to get ahead.
Griffin Newman
[20:54] He's a Batman villain.
[20:55] He genuinely wants to murder the kid.
[20:57] And everyone else is like, hold back 10%.
[21:00] Yeah.
[21:01] There is a point later in the movie where, not to get spoilers, but Dodger is making a little bit of money for his criminal enterprise.
[21:08] Yeah.
[21:08] And he goes like, oh, God, this is working against my natural instinct, which is to kill him.
[21:15] That he, like, hates.
[21:17] At least he understands himself.
[21:19] But they're like, calm down.
[21:21] You're making money off this kid.
[21:22] And it's like, I can't get my fucking rocks off unless I drain the life out of him.
Elliott Kalan
[21:27] Now, Juice's two main hench people, the guy and the girl.
[21:31] Wally and Blythe, yeah.
[21:32] Wally and Blythe?
[21:33] Blythe, yeah.
[21:34] Yeah, Blythe.
[21:34] Based on Blythe Tanner.
[21:36] Yeah.
[21:36] Now, are they supposed to be a couple also?
Stuart Wellington
[21:39] I mean, it's not expressly said in the movie, so you can't assume that.
[21:42] That's true.
[21:43] I can't assume it.
Elliott Kalan
[21:43] Because he has, like, a muscle-bound thug who is not very good at his job and is easily kind of defeated.
[21:49] But then he has this muscle-bound girl who's the thug who is a killing machine.
[21:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[21:53] Much stronger.
Griffin Newman
[21:54] To be clear, Wally and Blythe are both alternate spotters for you at the gym, right?
Elliott Kalan
[21:59] Yeah, yeah.
[22:00] Yes.
Stuart Wellington
[22:02] And their outfits are incredible.
[22:04] So Dodger, covered in garbage water, ends up at the antique store where Manzini takes care of him.
[22:10] Where he seems to work and is also maybe living.
[22:12] And you're probably wondering, where are all the fucking parents?
[22:15] Yeah.
[22:15] Because they're not in the movie.
Dan McCoy
[22:16] What is the relationship between this man and this elderly wizard?
[22:20] This kid.
[22:22] It's like a Doc Brown thing plus magic going on, minus parents.
Elliott Kalan
[22:26] But Michael J. Fox had parents, at least.
[22:27] I mean, the character that he plays.
[22:29] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[22:29] No, Manzini is both his surrogate father and maybe just his default father.
[22:34] Yeah.
[22:35] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[22:35] You have to imagine, again, you're not supposed to add things outside the frame of the film.
[22:40] That much as between the third and fourth Planet of the Apes movies, a virus swept the earth,
[22:46] killing all the dogs and cats, and that's why apes are now pets, that a virus swept the earth,
[22:50] killing parents.
[22:51] And anyone who owns an antique store is immune.
[22:55] And children are immune.
Dan McCoy
[22:56] Happening in the Night of the Comet universe at the same time.
[22:59] Yeah.
[22:59] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[23:00] The N-O-T-C-C-U.
Stuart Wellington
[23:02] Yeah.
[23:02] So while he's, like, sharing various pearls of wisdom, they talk about the magical garbage
[23:10] can, which Manzini describes as kind of like a Pandora's box, which I think adds some background
[23:16] to the garbage pail kids.
[23:17] Not really, but yeah.
[23:21] Later on, Dodger tries to impress Tangerine, who's looking in the shop window.
[23:25] He gives her some stuff, and then Juice and the gang show up and start some trouble,
[23:30] and they end up knocking over that can.
[23:31] It does sound like a 70s funk act, yeah.
[23:33] Yeah, they end up knocking over that can, and green ooze starts spilling out.
Griffin Newman
[23:36] Now, this is interesting, right?
[23:39] Because you're saying, okay, is this a portal to another dimension?
[23:43] Yes.
[23:43] But we've also seen them basically traveling inside of it, because you do hear their voices
[23:48] rattling around when the can is closed.
[23:49] When they're in space.
Stuart Wellington
[23:50] And sometimes the can is, like, moving almost like it's breathing.
[23:53] Like, the can is alive.
[23:54] Right.
Elliott Kalan
[23:55] But if it's spilled...
[23:55] If this was David Cronenberg's Guardian But You Fail Kids, the movie, the can would be alive.
[23:59] Oh, don't tempt me with this.
[24:01] But the kids don't crawl out of the can.
Griffin Newman
[24:03] No.
[24:04] They don't, like, magically Mary Poppins-esque, like, you know, clown car, like, leap out.
[24:09] Yeah.
[24:09] Green goo comes out.
[24:11] That's it.
[24:12] The bullies get fucking grossed out and go, like, let's make a run for it.
Stuart Wellington
[24:15] Yeah, they see it, and then it gives them the idea to then go into a nearby sewer,
[24:21] toss the little boy down there, open up a pipe that says toxic waste, and have toxic waste all over a little bit.
Dan McCoy
[24:28] To be fair, they shouldn't have that pipe down there.
Stuart Wellington
[24:30] I do like that all the pipes have labels on it.
Elliott Kalan
[24:33] Yes, and there's a little bit...
[24:34] Every now and then the movie has a little bit of background social satire.
[24:37] Yeah.
[24:37] There's a pipe that says broadcast television.
[24:39] Like, oh, that's where the gunk is, not knowing that broadcast television was the single greatest financial model for television in the world.
[24:48] All right.
[24:49] We wrecked it.
Griffin Newman
[24:50] Okay.
[24:50] We wrecked it.
[24:51] It is, like, the power of the written word is a major running theme in this movie.
[24:55] This is one of the most well-labeled films I've ever seen.
Elliott Kalan
[24:58] It's a movie that believes in texts.
Griffin Newman
[25:01] Yes.
[25:01] It's a series of texts.
[25:02] Yeah.
[25:02] Yeah, that cry out to be interpreted.
[25:04] There's a hot tub pipe.
[25:05] Every jail cell is individual.
[25:08] And they're all labeled.
[25:09] We'll get to that.
[25:10] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[25:10] Yeah.
[25:11] Also, to the broadcast television point, this is a director who directed several episodes of Gilligan's Island, My Mother the Car, other great classics of the television art form.
Elliott Kalan
[25:20] This was the movie that he went out on and somehow, maybe not the nadir of his movie.
Griffin Newman
[25:23] This is a guy named Rod Amatow, whose career started doing stunts for Rebel Without a Cause and being a dialogue director in a lonely place and ended his career with the Garbage Pail Kids movie.
[25:38] And you look at his career.
[25:39] A life well lived.
[25:40] This is basically, like, his career spans, like, the evolution of, like, modern Hollywood and TV and film and every genre and whatever.
[25:48] And you're like, oh, and he made this film when he was really old and he died shortly thereafter.
[25:52] Yeah.
[25:52] No, he died, like, 35 years after this movie came out.
[25:56] He just lived in shame for decades.
[25:58] I don't know.
Stuart Wellington
[25:58] I think he went out on top.
[25:59] I feel like that's the entertainment career equivalent of collecting every single Garbage Pail Kids before college.
[26:04] This is true.
Elliott Kalan
[26:05] He made the movie and he said, he said, I've said what I need to say in my chosen medium.
Griffin Newman
[26:10] But this is his final credit effort.
[26:12] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[26:12] Okay.
[26:13] So, the little boy is left in the sewer covered in garbage.
[26:16] He is rescued by the Garbage Pail Kids who then wrecked the store.
[26:20] Now, let's describe what they look like.
[26:23] I think that's an important thing because they are little people in costumes.
[26:27] Yeah.
[26:27] With masks that kind of move.
Griffin Newman
[26:29] With animatronic heads.
[26:31] I'm struggling for the language.
[26:32] Giant heads.
[26:32] Yeah.
[26:32] If I described them, I'd say bad.
[26:34] They look quite awful.
Dan McCoy
[26:38] I was saying to my co-host earlier that, like, we got food while watching the movie.
[26:43] And I am not a person, like, if there's a gross horror movie thing.
[26:46] Yeah.
[26:47] I think Indian food was a mistake, Dan.
Elliott Kalan
[26:49] Because, Dan, usually you're like, it's time for dinner.
[26:51] Throw martyrs on there.
[26:53] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[26:53] No.
[26:53] If there's a gross horror movie thing, it does nothing to me.
[26:56] I'm not one of the people who's like, I can't eat during this.
[26:58] But, like, there were a couple times where they just did a close-up of the face of the bad animatronic.
[27:04] I'm like, I can't eat.
Stuart Wellington
[27:06] Yeah, I couldn't tell what was worse, the moments when the faces just aren't moving at all or when they are moving.
Griffin Newman
[27:13] There's sort of, like, urban legend that the faces kept on breaking down.
[27:18] And at certain points in production, there was only one working, like, facial musculature or whatever.
[27:25] So that there are scenes where only one character in a wide shot is expressing because they had to swap them out one at a time.
Elliott Kalan
[27:32] I mean, if only they had gone the Jaws route.
[27:34] They said, the shark's not working, let's just imply the existence of the shark.
[27:38] Like, if only they had maybe used camera trickery to make us think there were garbage bale kids in a scene rather than showing their faces fully lit right in front of us.
[27:47] With voices coming out, they're like, oh, jeez.
Dan McCoy
[27:50] Yeah, and urine running down their legs.
Stuart Wellington
[27:52] So, and a lot of the scenes with the garbage bale kids, they're, like, running around, their faces aren't moving, there's, like, constant chat.
[27:58] Now, are these, here's my other question.
Elliott Kalan
[28:00] The ooze comes out of the garbage can.
[28:03] Are these their natural forms, or are they that goo?
[28:06] And they have taken on the forms of the things they think are earthlings.
[28:09] Like in those Transformers movies, they're not really cars from outer space, right?
[28:13] They're, like, there's lots of cars around here.
[28:15] We'll be like cars, right?
Dan McCoy
[28:16] I mean, I can't say definitively.
[28:18] I can say if this is not their form, they've taken this form long ago because Anthony Newley is, like, oh, no, you let out my garbage bale kids.
[28:24] Yeah, he recognizes them right away.
[28:25] Which, as Stuart pointed out, is, like, so this guy's just been keeping these kids in a garbage can.
Griffin Newman
[28:31] Yeah, yeah, in a prison, yeah.
[28:32] Locked in a garbage can.
[28:33] And he basically, like, contends that, like, they are the modern representation of Pandora's box.
[28:39] I mean, he gives this whole Pandora's box explanation.
Elliott Kalan
[28:40] I wish he had been, like, you ever heard of a thing called the Hindenburg?
[28:44] They were the cause.
[28:45] Like, that would have been the best.
Stuart Wellington
[28:47] Again, once again, garbage bale kids through history kissing assholes.
[28:52] So, speaking of Manzini, he returns, and he tries to get them back into their garbage prison, and they're, like, no.
[28:58] And then he spends the rest of the movie trying to figure out a spell that will get them back in it.
[29:03] Yes.
[29:04] Then a child takes a bath in a tub in the middle of the room.
Dan McCoy
[29:08] In the middle of the store?
[29:10] Unsupervised young child takes a bath surrounded by garbage bale kids and an older man.
Stuart Wellington
[29:15] There was, for the Elliotts in the audience, there was a close-up of a child's feet.
Elliott Kalan
[29:21] Is that what I'm into canonically?
[29:23] I don't know.
[29:23] I'm working on it.
[29:24] All feet?
[29:25] Trying to build a narrative.
[29:26] Or just children's feet.
Dan McCoy
[29:27] I appreciate you spreading out the libelous lies.
Elliott Kalan
[29:31] I mean, I feel like mine is, this one is much worse than the ones we usually throw in.
[29:35] We just say you're a racist or something, you know.
[29:38] But it is a, this is maybe the most bonkers moment in the movie where they're like, yeah, this kid's covered in ooze.
[29:45] Of course he would get into a bathtub in the middle of a retail establishment, surrounded with an older gentleman,
[29:52] and also these bizarre kind of like alien grotesqueries.
[29:55] And they're, and they are.
Stuart Wellington
[29:56] And he gets comfortable, the child gets comfortable enough to fully submerge himself nude and stick his feet out.
Elliott Kalan
[30:02] And then later, they're like, yeah, he's, they're offering a towel.
[30:05] And the one, and they're, the Garbagefield girl is attracted to him.
[30:09] She's like, ooh, when he's about to get out of the tub.
[30:11] It's super gross and weird.
[30:12] Yeah, I mean.
Dan McCoy
[30:13] There's a line where, no, sorry.
[30:14] It may seem like we're focusing unduly on this, but this movie is bizarre, the degree to which I think it sexualizes these teens.
[30:23] Like, for, like, what is, like, I mean, like, you should never do that.
[30:27] But also, like, a children's film, like I said.
Elliott Kalan
[30:29] It's a very strange vibe, the whole.
[30:31] There were certain things in 80s children's films that filmmakers thought children were super interested in.
[30:36] One, corporate takeovers.
[30:40] And two, like, sex.
[30:42] And this, Garbagefield kids movie, like, 14, 15, 16-year-olds aren't really going to this movie.
[30:47] It's probably like seven, eight-year-olds.
[30:48] Yeah.
[30:48] For them to be like, yeah, yeah, that Garbagefield kid wants to fuck that kid.
[30:51] Like, that's not okay.
Griffin Newman
[30:52] It's also weird that this movie is all about very different types of teenagers.
[30:57] Like, it's not about kids the age of, quote, unquote, the Garbagepail kids.
[31:02] Whatever the Garbagepail kids are supposed to be.
[31:04] I mean, they're ageless, yeah.
[31:05] That's true.
[31:05] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[31:06] There is a moment.
[31:08] Like a fine wine.
[31:11] Dan, do Orson Welles doing an ad for Garbagepail kids.
[31:14] Oh, the Garbagepail kids.
Dan McCoy
[31:19] I've always been reviled with a grotesquerie.
[31:22] We'll pale no kids before their time.
Griffin Newman
[31:25] There is an atom bomb who pushes a button on a remote and his head explodes.
[31:30] You tell me how to put the emphasis on Gar in Garbagepail kids and...
[31:36] Anyway.
[31:37] There's a moment later, I think it's around the bath scene, where...
[31:41] Because the Garbagepail kids are constantly...
[31:43] Talking, yeah.
[31:44] Talking...
[31:45] They're constantly talking.
[31:46] A lot of chatter.
[31:47] Shut up.
[31:48] They keep talking about how ugly they are in this way where it's like, the other characters
[31:54] are like, no, you're not.
[31:56] Like, trying to make them feel better.
[31:58] Yeah.
[31:58] And Valerie Vomit says something about being repulsive.
[32:02] And Dodger says, like, I don't think you're that ugly.
[32:05] And she just immediately goes, oh, so you want to suck face?
[32:10] Which is horrible.
Stuart Wellington
[32:12] I think roughly around the same time, Manzini, who is, again, the father figure, is like,
[32:16] well, being ugly is not a state of appearance, but rather a state of being.
[32:21] And then Wendy Winston immediately farts.
Elliott Kalan
[32:23] It is a hard lesson for this movie to sell, that it is rather the handsome Juice who is
[32:30] ugly for his actions as a violent belief.
[32:31] Oh, you think he's handsome?
Stuart Wellington
[32:32] Is it because he wears, like, a sport coat with nothing underneath?
[32:35] Because he wears a sport coat with a sleeveless shirt.
[32:37] He's got fingerless gloves and there's an ascot kind of thing.
Elliott Kalan
[32:40] Yeah, and he beats up little kids for money.
[32:42] The idea that, like, it's not your appearance that counts.
[32:44] When these Garfield kids are hideous and they're constantly peeing on themselves and farting
[32:49] everywhere, like, the character is, like, pulling their boogers out in a long strand and it's
[32:54] like, please don't judge by their looks.
[32:58] This is the thing.
[32:59] This man has an alligator's head for a head, but who amongst us has not?
[33:03] It's not 10.5 people's toes off.
[33:06] If the thing is, don't judge someone by their looks, by their behavior.
[33:09] Their behavior is ugly.
[33:11] They're horrible people.
[33:12] Yeah, they're terrible.
Griffin Newman
[33:12] They are all assholes.
[33:14] They have horrible souls.
[33:16] It is what I find fascinating about this movie is you rarely watch a film where every line
[33:20] of dialogue directly negates the previous line of dialogue.
[33:24] Like, it cannot maintain a consistent point for more than 10 words in a row.
[33:28] Yeah.
[33:29] Because, like, I have a theory, and I can't remember if I've ever heard this supported by
[33:35] anything.
Elliott Kalan
[33:35] Okay.
Griffin Newman
[33:36] But that Anthony newly wrote all of his dialogue for this film because his language is very
[33:41] different than the way everyone else talks.
[33:43] Yes.
[33:43] And it's like he was on set.
[33:45] This is also his last film, his last theatrical film.
[33:49] And it feels like...
[33:50] Go out on top.
Elliott Kalan
[33:51] Yeah, that's what he said.
[33:51] Yeah, he had said everything he needed to say, yeah.
Griffin Newman
[33:53] It feels like he was on set every day going, like, this film needs to have a message.
[33:58] Like, he's trying to imbue it with this sense of, like, don't judge people on the exteriors.
[34:03] And then the fucking actors playing the garbage hole kids were not listening to what he was
[34:06] saying and were just fucking acting a fool.
[34:09] Pardon the camera.
Stuart Wellington
[34:11] I mean, if you're stuck with, like, an animatronic head that doesn't work, it's, I'm sure, hot
[34:16] and uncomfortable.
[34:17] Yeah.
[34:18] And you're, like, bumping into each other and you can't see anything.
[34:21] Like, yeah, you're not going to listen to some weird old guy.
[34:24] But this weird old guy...
Dan McCoy
[34:25] Probably the actors inside those heads should be listening to Anthony's.
Stuart Wellington
[34:30] Yeah, probably, yeah.
[34:32] So, Manzini gives them one rule.
[34:34] If they're going to be outside of the can, they need to stay away from normies.
[34:37] Yeah.
[34:37] That's normal people for fear that they're going to get, I don't know, arrested, which
[34:41] is grounded, I guess, in the rest of the movie.
[34:44] So, they, and then the garbage bale kids agree to help Dodger romance Tangerine.
Griffin Newman
[34:51] Yeah, I don't know if we've set this up properly, but Tangerine runs, she's trying to make it
[34:56] in fashion.
[34:57] Yes.
[34:57] She sells her own clothes out of the trunk of her car in back alleys after shows.
[35:03] Yes.
[35:03] Like, she'll go to, like, a club or a concert.
[35:05] A club, yeah.
[35:05] Right.
[35:06] She'll sell her clothes.
[35:07] Every nighttime sequence in this movie has the vibe of an Abel Farrar movie.
[35:12] Yeah, yeah.
[35:13] And she's in these, like, really grimy back alleys selling her clothes.
Elliott Kalan
[35:16] Which we're all, if IMDb is to be believed, we're all on a set.
[35:19] Yeah.
[35:20] These were not real streets.
[35:21] No.
[35:21] So, they somehow went out of their way to make them really dark and grimy and depressing
[35:25] and sad.
Stuart Wellington
[35:25] Yeah, like it's a basket case or something.
[35:27] And the shots all go so long that, like, a character will just wander out of the light
[35:32] into the darkness.
[35:33] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[35:34] But Dodger is, like, in love with Tangerine.
[35:36] And Tangerine not only, it's, my memory of this as a child was, like, oh, this is one
[35:41] of these classic, like, Ducky and Andy kind of dynamics where he's in love with her.
[35:47] Andy from Toy Story?
[35:48] Yeah.
[35:49] Isn't her name Andy in Pretty and Pink?
[35:50] I don't remember.
[35:51] Andy, I think so.
Elliott Kalan
[35:52] Am I right about this?
[35:54] Thank you.
[35:55] Thank you.
[35:55] But you meant Andy and a rubber duck.
[35:57] Ducky from Toy Story, right?
[35:58] Yeah, that's what I meant.
[35:59] Yeah, yeah.
[35:59] Andy, the boy, and his rubber duck.
[36:03] If Ernie can be in love with a rubber duck, why can't Andy from Toy Story, you know?
Griffin Newman
[36:06] I remember this movie being a dynamic where it's like, oh, she's kind of infantilizing
[36:10] to him and they're close friends, but she doesn't like him.
[36:13] And he's trying to make her see him that way.
[36:16] And the main thrust of this movie is him trying to use the Garbage Pail Kids to make clothes
[36:21] that she can sell so that she likes him.
[36:24] Yeah.
[36:24] But in fact, she is so mean to him.
[36:27] She's using him for a moment.
[36:29] Yeah.
[36:29] She is the meanest woman in the history of cinema.
[36:32] Which, I get it.
[36:34] That's a red flag that I'll go after every day.
[36:36] I mean, yeah.
[36:38] I watched this movie.
[36:39] Oh, you're mean to me?
[36:40] Lovely.
[36:41] Yeah.
[36:41] Yeah.
[36:41] I mean, re-watching it was a real chicken and the egg thing where I was like, did this
[36:45] form the way I think of romantic relationships?
[36:48] Yeah, yeah.
[36:48] Or did I like this as a child because it already spoke to who I knew I would be?
[36:52] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[36:53] How did Garbage Pail Kids show me that all relationships are just a series of exploitation?
Elliott Kalan
[36:58] Right.
[36:59] So love is inherently transactional.
[37:01] Okay, yeah.
[37:02] I get it.
[37:02] A delicate boy who looks years younger than he actually is.
[37:07] Until there's an action scene.
Stuart Wellington
[37:09] Tall looks much older.
Elliott Kalan
[37:10] And he can really pull up a bow tie with a t-shirt with a spangly sleeveless jacket.
Stuart Wellington
[37:15] Honestly, the fashion in this movie is amazing.
Dan McCoy
[37:18] While they did break up mid-filming, the two of them dated in real life.
[37:23] Really?
[37:23] According to...
[37:24] In real life, in real life, he achieved his tangerine dream.
Elliott Kalan
[37:29] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[37:31] Dan's running around the stage.
[37:32] Victory lap, victory lap, victory lap, victory lap.
[37:35] Wow.
Stuart Wellington
[37:36] Fair's fair.
Elliott Kalan
[37:37] Wow.
[37:38] Sorry.
[37:38] Okay, so speaking of our two lovebirds...
[37:41] Dan, you know what I was wrong about you.
Stuart Wellington
[37:44] Wait, what did he even say?
[37:45] No, don't worry about it.
[37:46] Still keep going.
[37:47] Yeah, Dodger and tangerine go for a ride.
[37:50] They sell clothes behind a club.
[37:51] Then Juice shows up and takes the money and the car and the babe, leaving Dodger zipped
[37:56] up in a bag.
[37:59] The Garbage Pail Kids, while this is happening, are looking for their friends.
[38:03] That is what they are looking for.
[38:04] They're looking for their friends in, of course, garbage cans.
[38:07] And they steal a food delivery truck and they run over Juice's car and flatten it.
[38:13] Then they eat a bunch of food and stuff in an alleyway.
[38:16] And then they wake up super hungover.
[38:18] I don't know if it's from Chuckie or he.
Dan McCoy
[38:19] Yeah, they keep saying they're hungover from, I guess, eating too many hot dogs.
Stuart Wellington
[38:23] Although they are sitting on a case of Miller High Life, so maybe they're drinking that too.
[38:27] Again, not shown on the screen.
[38:29] Miller hot dogs.
[38:30] They do convince Dodger to dress fancy to impress tangerine.
[38:33] But all tangerine sees is dollar signs.
[38:35] She sees that fancy outfit and she thinks, hey, it's time for you to make clothes for me.
[38:40] So he agrees to make 12 outfits in a week, which of course means the Garbage Pail Kids are making those things.
Dan McCoy
[38:46] This is what's funny to me.
[38:47] The movie takes all the time it saves, you know, telling you what the Garbage Pail Kids are, what they want, why they're here, any of that stuff.
[38:57] And it's like, no, we don't need that.
[38:58] Let's put it into this sort of fashion intrigue story where there's sweatshot labor.
Griffin Newman
[39:03] What that fascinates me most about this film is that, I know we've said this about five times, but it's a movie of many fascinations.
Elliott Kalan
[39:12] It's a multi-faceted gem, sure, yeah.
Griffin Newman
[39:15] You would believe if someone told you, oh, a producer bought the rights to the Garbage Pail Kids and had to make a movie in four months.
Elliott Kalan
[39:22] I'll buy it, yeah, sure, I'll buy it.
Griffin Newman
[39:23] So he took a different script that he owned the rights to and mapped the Garbage Pail Kids on top of them.
[39:28] Because the whole fashion tangerine and Dodger drama.
[39:30] Seems difficult, there's such a unique problem.
[39:33] So that feels like this weird kind of, like, flash dance adjacent.
[39:37] It does feel like the Garbage Pail Kids are extraneous to much of the plot of the Garbage Pail Kids movie.
[39:42] Yes, it is almost incidental that the Garbage Pail Kids happen to be good at sewing.
Dan McCoy
[39:49] On our planet, we're all seamstresses.
Stuart Wellington
[39:52] Which we all learn about because all of a sudden we have a musical number where they sing the song,
[39:58] We Can Do Anything By Working With Each Other.
[40:00] It's a long song, yeah.
[40:02] They steal some sewing equipment from a nearby, appropriately labeled, non-union sweatshop.
[40:08] Yeah, says it right on the door.
Elliott Kalan
[40:09] It's okay to steal from it, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[40:11] Ironic, because wasn't this production shut down briefly for using non-union labels?
[40:15] Yes.
[40:16] That is true.
[40:17] Courage of their convictions right there.
[40:21] Now, the Garbage Pail Kids start to feel exploited, so they decide to sneak off in costume to the movies where they watch a public domain Three Stooges movie, I'm guessing.
Dan McCoy
[40:31] You've never seen an audience losing their shit laughing like they are to this old Three Stooges short that they're playing for some reason.
Elliott Kalan
[40:40] I'll give them the credit and say maybe the studio owns the rights to this one.
Dan McCoy
[40:44] Oh, you think, Elliot?
[40:46] You think that might be why?
Elliott Kalan
[40:47] It's certainly not top-notch Three Stooges.
[40:49] I did want to say this about the clothing.
[40:51] If this was a true Garbage Pail Kids movie, they would say, we'll make those clothes for you, and they'd sing the song.
[40:56] And then they would deliver 12 outfits covered in vomit.
[40:59] And Tangerine would be like, what is this?
[41:02] But that's not what happens.
Griffin Newman
[41:04] The song is also so bizarre because...
[41:06] Don't play it.
[41:07] I'm not going to play it.
[41:07] I'm not going to play it.
[41:09] I'm not going to play it.
[41:10] But I have...
[41:11] I needed to pull up the lyrics.
[41:12] Don't go to your Garbage Pail Kids playlist.
[41:13] Yeah, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[41:14] Griffin's doing it playlist.
Griffin Newman
[41:20] Garbage jams.
[41:21] Griffin Griffin.
[41:25] What I was saying earlier about, like, every line of dialogue in this movie negates the previous line.
[41:30] This song is, like, a really extreme distillation of it because it has, like, the melody of, like, an instructional kid's song.
[41:38] Like, a song that's about, like, sharing his caring or whatever.
[41:41] It's like...
Elliott Kalan
[41:41] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
Griffin Newman
[41:44] But the opening two lines of the song are...
[41:48] And I'll do my best impression of the way Greaser Greg sings it.
[41:52] Why should we do something nice?
[41:55] Let's quit now.
[41:56] That's my advice.
[41:57] And then the next line is...
[41:58] We can do anything by working with each other.
[42:02] The song can't decide.
[42:05] Beautifully done.
[42:05] Yeah.
[42:06] Woo!
Dan McCoy
[42:07] Professional voice actor.
Griffin Newman
[42:09] It cannot commit to whether the Garbage Pail Kids are assholes or they're learning to be friendly.
[42:14] And it goes back and forth every other line.
[42:17] They're, like, talking about, like, fuck this kid.
[42:19] He really sucks.
[42:21] He can go and suck on ducks.
[42:23] We can.
[42:24] And then they're, like, breaking into sweatshops and doing shit.
Elliott Kalan
[42:27] It's never clear why they're helping him.
[42:29] No.
[42:30] No.
[42:31] Well, the one...
[42:32] They're negging him constantly.
[42:33] The one Garbage Pail Kid has a crush on him.
[42:35] Valerie Vomit wants to suck face.
[42:36] Valerie Vomit has a crush on him.
[42:38] And so she is trying to help him because...
[42:41] This is good writing.
[42:43] Yeah.
[42:43] The relationship between Dodger and Tangerine is mirrored in the relationship between Dodger and Valerie Vomit.
Griffin Newman
[42:50] This is what Shakespeare would do.
[42:52] He is being so upfront with them where he's, like, you guys, I don't fucking like you and I don't like dealing with you,
[42:59] but I need you to do some unpaid labor for me to impress a woman who is basically the modern-day nurse ratchet.
[43:07] Yeah.
[43:08] Who is mean to me all the time.
[43:09] Who is teenage Cruella DeVille.
[43:11] She's so mean, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[43:12] Whose boyfriend stuck me in the sewer.
Griffin Newman
[43:14] Yes.
[43:15] And then also, like, seemingly, like, got hard at watching me nearly suffocate.
[43:19] Yeah.
[43:19] Yeah.
[43:20] Like, get some sort of, like, juice from it.
[43:24] But they...
[43:26] He's transparent.
[43:27] Like, the reason I'm asking you to do this is to help me win over Tangerine, who they don't seem to like.
[43:33] They don't seem to like him.
Elliott Kalan
[43:35] But Garbage Pail Kids are nothing if not romantics at heart.
[43:37] This is true.
Stuart Wellington
[43:39] Although there is a moment where they warn him, they're like, be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.
[43:43] And I'm like, wow, wisdom from the mouth of Garbage Pail Kids.
[43:46] So, while...
[43:47] We gave her what you wish for.
[43:49] You might just get it.
[43:50] While many of the kids are enjoying the antics of the Three Stooges, Wendy Winston and Alligator get on one of their, what, their, like, mopeds or whatever.
[44:00] Yeah.
[44:01] Their power wheels.
[44:02] And they drive off, but they break down in front of the titled Toughest Bar in the World.
[44:08] That's what the sign says.
[44:09] Toughest Bar in the World.
[44:11] Wendy Winston, yeah, it's one of my bars, obviously.
Griffin Newman
[44:15] I saw it, I'm like, that's actually a really good name.
[44:17] And you mentioned earlier that when they go out on this expedition, they're in disguise.
[44:22] Let's be clear, their disguises are tiny trench coats and sunglasses and fedoras.
[44:26] Yeah, very Ninja Turtles.
[44:26] Yeah, the classic disguise, you know.
Stuart Wellington
[44:29] So, of course, what happens is they start a big bar fight.
[44:33] Wendy Winston bursts in...
Dan McCoy
[44:35] Not a bar fight, just a bar fight.
Stuart Wellington
[44:36] Wendy Winston bursts in and he farts a bunch on a bunch of people, which earns the respect of the bike.
Dan McCoy
[44:42] Stuart, you were showing off physically the fart.
[44:45] So, he does...
[44:47] Yeah.
[44:48] For the listener at home, there's sort of a waggle of the butt involved in the farting.
Elliott Kalan
[44:54] And he puts his hands out as if he's doing like a surfing dance.
[44:57] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[44:57] Surfing bird dance.
[44:58] Also, meanwhile, he's atop the bar doing that.
[45:01] Below the bar, alligators munching on biker toes.
[45:05] Yes.
Stuart Wellington
[45:05] Which also seems to earn their respect.
[45:07] I do like that the bikers here all have tattoos that look very drawn on Sharpie.
[45:14] Yes.
[45:16] And also, one of the farts blows a guy's mustache clean off his face.
Elliott Kalan
[45:21] That's comedy.
[45:22] That's how comedy works.
[45:23] That's funny jokes.
[45:24] Yeah.
[45:25] Every movie has one funny joke.
Stuart Wellington
[45:28] Like the Garbage Pail Kids end up back at Manzini's.
[45:32] Then there's like...
[45:33] We get the Garbage Pail Kids theme song, which is a little bit rowdier.
[45:37] And there's like a short hijinks montage.
Elliott Kalan
[45:39] You can be a Garbage Pail Kid.
Stuart Wellington
[45:41] Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Elliott Kalan
[45:42] If you're really fucking gross and you do a lot of bad stuff, you can be...
[45:46] I don't remember the actual...
Stuart Wellington
[45:47] Now, the montage mainly features the Garbage Pail Kids in the sewer, redirecting toxic waste
[45:52] into, I don't know, toilets.
Elliott Kalan
[45:54] Into the toilet juices using, which they know the exact pipe.
[45:58] Right.
[45:59] Seems strange.
[46:00] And he's...
[46:01] As all...
[46:01] Because it's a children's movie, he's wearing his pants as he sits on the toilet.
[46:04] So he's lifted up in the air and he's like, whoa.
Stuart Wellington
[46:06] Yeah, Elliot neatly takes off his pants and folds them every time he goes to the bathroom.
Elliott Kalan
[46:11] If I'm in a public bathroom, I take off my pants, I hang them over the side of the stall
[46:16] in the hopes that whoever's on the other side will press them and then return them to me.
[46:22] Every now and then they get stolen and I end up in a sort of Mr. Bean style scenario where
[46:26] I have to get home without pants on.
[46:29] It's hilarious.
[46:30] It's my kink.
[46:32] No one gets hurt.
[46:35] Took a turn at the end.
Stuart Wellington
[46:37] So, speaking of good writing, we'd heard the idea that the Garbage Pail Kids are looking
[46:42] for their friends.
[46:43] Right.
[46:43] And there's a belief that these friends are being kept at the state home for the ugly.
[46:49] Yep.
[46:49] So Manzini and Dodger decide to just wander the streets in daylight until they happen upon
[46:56] a pair of, like, dog catcher-esque fellows who are carrying a giant net and throwing it
[47:02] over any children wearing masks thinking they might be ugly.
Griffin Newman
[47:05] Yeah.
[47:05] You can't wear masks outside.
[47:07] It's not Halloween yet.
Stuart Wellington
[47:09] Yeah.
[47:09] Exactly.
[47:10] Man, we don't even need to play Cliffs.
[47:13] We've got Rich Little joining us tonight.
Griffin Newman
[47:15] The movie's kind of quietly establishing this quid pro quo, which is, like, Manzini's trying
[47:22] to figure out the spell that will get them back in the can, which seems to be a song.
[47:27] He's just at a piano playing different things, waiting for one of them to click.
[47:31] Yeah.
[47:31] And then Dodger's got them working, making clothes for Tangerine, which she loves.
[47:36] As you point out, not only are they not covered in vomit and pus and shit, but Tangerine
[47:41] thinks the clothes rule.
[47:42] Yeah.
[47:43] I'd say most of them-
[47:44] And they do.
[47:45] They're, like, jazzy military outfits.
Dan McCoy
[47:48] Like, if you were on Kids Incorporated, you might wear something like this if you're,
[47:52] like, leading a song, I would say.
Griffin Newman
[47:54] And the Dodger's vaguely, like, offering to try to find their fallen brothers, the cans
[47:59] that landed in other places.
[48:01] Yeah, yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[48:01] They have that POW Garbage Pail Kids MIA flag hanging in the window.
[48:06] Right.
Griffin Newman
[48:07] So they're sort of like, oh, we might have a lead.
[48:10] The home for the ugly might be where your friends ended up.
Elliott Kalan
[48:14] And it's one of those, they're like, we can't let these Garbage Pail Kids be imprisoned in
[48:18] the home for the ugly.
[48:19] We've got to stuff them in a garbage can and put the lid on and never let them out.
Stuart Wellington
[48:23] There is a, like, at one point Manzini's like, it's the only place you're safe is in your
[48:27] garbage prison.
[48:30] Sounds like something an abuser might say.
[48:32] I'm doing this for you.
[48:32] Yeah.
[48:33] So, yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[48:34] So they find the stay home for the ugly.
[48:35] Which is kind of the plot of Hotel Transylvania, right?
[48:38] Yes.
[48:38] Yeah.
[48:39] Yes.
[48:39] So I guess Garbage Pail Kids cast a long shadow.
Stuart Wellington
[48:43] So they do find the stay home for the ugly.
[48:46] It's a very, like, institutional place, but they can't get inside.
[48:49] But they assume the kids are there.
[48:50] The wayward Garbage Pail Kids.
[48:52] Can we talk about some of the well-labeled prisoners?
[48:55] Well, we haven't gotten inside.
[48:56] We haven't gotten quite to the inside yet.
Elliott Kalan
[48:58] There's plenty of time for that.
[49:00] The idea that the movie will suddenly, out of nowhere, they were like, oh, they're probably
[49:03] at the stay home for the ugly.
[49:05] They're like, that's not a real thing.
[49:06] And the movie, out of nowhere, introduces that there are roving bands of ugly catchers
[49:11] who are kidnapping children of any of the ugly.
[49:13] And this is just a service the government provides in the city?
[49:16] Like, it's a...
Stuart Wellington
[49:17] Elliot's like, my tax dollars shouldn't go to that.
Elliott Kalan
[49:20] This is not what I'm supporting.
[49:21] Show me the receipts.
[49:23] I do need to support the school, so...
[49:25] But it is just...
[49:26] The movie is like, look, we haven't introduced a bonkers dumb idea in minutes.
[49:32] Yeah.
[49:33] Let's do this, too.
Stuart Wellington
[49:35] Speaking of bonkers ideas, Dodger introduces Tangerine to the Garbage Pail Kids.
[49:41] It doesn't go particularly well.
[49:43] No.
[49:43] But she does decide to exploit them further and throw a fashion show at a local department
[49:48] store, which begs the question, what department store is like, yeah, this teenage girl can
[49:52] have a full fashion.
Dan McCoy
[49:53] She's had a lot of success selling out of her trunk of her car near this club I go to.
Stuart Wellington
[49:58] It's an easy way to get publicity on the local news.
[50:02] Yeah.
[50:02] It's a very, like, saved by the bell type thing.
Elliott Kalan
[50:05] Local teen who has no parents throws fashion show at local department store.
Dan McCoy
[50:09] For the other post-nuclear mutants in this parentless world we all live in.
[50:13] I don't know why I'm explaining this to you on the news.
[50:15] You already know.
Elliott Kalan
[50:16] You know it already.
[50:16] You're living in this reality.
[50:18] This movie makes so much more sense if it is happening after a nuclear war.
Stuart Wellington
[50:23] However, Tangerine, while happy to exploit the Garbage Pail Kids, does not want them at
[50:27] the fashion show.
[50:28] So on the night of the show...
[50:29] Understandably.
[50:30] Yep.
Elliott Kalan
[50:31] I mean...
[50:31] Should I have the monster that eats toes at my fashion show?
Stuart Wellington
[50:34] Probably not.
[50:35] So she locks them up using a lock and she keeps the key and it's weirdly...
[50:41] She's trying to be weirdly sensual.
[50:42] I'm not a fan of it.
[50:43] But her outfit is pretty cool.
[50:46] So she locks them in the basement.
[50:48] That's when Juice chloroforms Manzini, right?
[50:53] Right.
[50:53] Yeah.
[50:53] He knocks them out and then he and his gang kidnap the Garbage Pail Kids and sell them
[50:59] to the state home for the ugly as like a bounty.
[51:02] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[51:03] So they don't just catch ugly people in order to keep the streets safe.
[51:07] They also buy them.
[51:10] It says wanted, ugly or alive.
[51:13] Yeah.
[51:14] So Griffin, what is the state home for the ugly like?
[51:18] Here's what it is.
[51:19] It is vertically stacked cells.
[51:23] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[51:23] It's like the end of Cabin in the Woods, say.
Elliott Kalan
[51:26] Yeah.
[51:26] Almost as if there's no fourth wall to the set.
[51:28] Correct.
Griffin Newman
[51:29] And cells can only be on one side.
[51:31] It's a series of jailed cells that are arranged like the Hollywood Squares set.
Elliott Kalan
[51:39] Because what is Hollywood Squares?
[51:41] Not a jail for formerly much more famous people.
Griffin Newman
[51:44] And each cell has one ugly prisoner in there.
[51:48] Someone too ugly to be seen in public with a clearly labeled sign.
[51:55] So there's one that says like, the sign is the explanation of what makes them ugly.
[52:00] Yes.
[52:01] Such as Too Tall.
[52:03] And the person inside that cell is Abraham Lincoln.
[52:06] Sure, yeah.
[52:07] Too bald.
Dan McCoy
[52:09] Resurrected in this post-nuclear.
Elliott Kalan
[52:11] Too bald is, of course, Mahatma Gandhi.
[52:14] Yes.
[52:14] Right.
Dan McCoy
[52:15] Too fat was Santa Claus.
Elliott Kalan
[52:17] Correct.
Griffin Newman
[52:17] Not a particularly fat Santa Claus at that.
[52:20] No.
[52:20] Yeah.
[52:20] No, and it's, the movie's not making it clear if these are professional impersonators or the true people.
[52:26] Yeah.
[52:26] There's like, from time and mythology.
Elliott Kalan
[52:28] A clown that was too silly.
[52:30] Billed as too silly, this clown.
[52:32] That seems like a weird thing for ugly.
[52:33] But they're making a bold statement about the police state and conformity.
[52:37] Yeah.
[52:38] Rod Serling was watching this in his last days going, why didn't I do it this way?
[52:42] Oh.
[52:43] And you're at this point.
[52:44] Beating on my own game.
Stuart Wellington
[52:46] Now you're probably wondering, what about, are there other garbage pail kids there?
[52:49] Well, in a brief bit of dialogue later on, it's explained that they were just crushed in a garbage compactor.
[52:54] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[52:55] They were too late to save them.
[52:57] They're already dead.
[52:57] Oh, God.
[52:58] Which also means that Gandhi is going to be crushed in a garbage compactor and Santa Claus.
Griffin Newman
[53:02] It's wild that the movie, at this point, there were like hundreds of characters from the cards.
[53:08] I'm watching the film for the first time as a child, and I'm like, okay, we're not going to see other garbage.
Stuart Wellington
[53:12] And you have your whole, like, book with all the fucking cards there.
[53:15] Absolutely.
[53:15] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[53:16] But it's like, budget, I'm guessing we're not going to suddenly reveal ten more kids at the end of the movie.
[53:21] But you don't want to keep the door open for the sequel.
[53:23] Oh, perhaps there are other cans out there.
[53:25] For this movie to go like, no, conclusively, they're all dead.
Dan McCoy
[53:29] These are the sole survivors.
[53:31] We've dealt with them.
Elliott Kalan
[53:32] When we get to this scene of the movie, this is one of those moments where I'm like, if John Waters made this movie.
[53:38] Elliot?
[53:38] Same movie.
[53:39] I had the same thought.
[53:41] I had the same thought.
Griffin Newman
[53:43] And I would feel so differently about it.
[53:45] Yeah.
[53:45] It'd be a masterpiece.
[53:46] Yeah.
[53:47] It would make the sight and sound list.
[53:49] Yeah, it would, yes.
[53:50] It would go Tokyo Story.
Elliott Kalan
[53:52] Yep.
[53:52] Vertigo.
[53:53] Yep.
[53:53] The garbage look at this movie.
[53:55] Then Bicycle Thieves, I guess, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[53:58] So, back at the fashion show.
[54:01] And this fashion show is fairly professional, right?
[54:04] There's an announcer.
[54:05] There's an audience that seemed very into the fashion.
Elliott Kalan
[54:08] Surprising turnout for the local fashion show of a teens fashion line, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[54:12] Tangerine has her, like, sitting in front of the makeup mirror moment where she reveals her deception to Dodger.
[54:19] Juice shows up.
[54:20] He throws Dodger in the trash.
Griffin Newman
[54:24] That's another thing in this film is that the more normal, conventional, by-the-book version of this narrative, right?
[54:31] Sure.
[54:32] Even if Tangerine didn't see him as, like, a sexual romantic figure, she would be kind to him.
[54:37] The child you're talking about, yeah.
[54:38] Yes.
[54:39] Which she isn't.
[54:39] She's an asshole to him at all times.
[54:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[54:42] But you're also, like, this type of movie is eventually, she goes, like, what am I doing with this jerk?
[54:48] Juice is such a jerk.
[54:49] And instead, she's so into Juice the whole movie.
[54:53] He will, like, come an inch away from murdering someone and then turn around and she'll jump his bones.
[54:59] Make out with him so hard.
Elliott Kalan
[55:00] Yeah.
[55:00] Even beyond, even, you're exactly right.
[55:02] There would be a moment where she's like, what am I doing?
[55:04] Beyond the fact, her career is entirely reliant on his access to these designs.
[55:10] Yeah, so she should at least be knowledgeable enough to know, like, well, everything in my fashion show was designed by your weird monster friends.
[55:16] Maybe I shouldn't piss you off right before the show.
Stuart Wellington
[55:19] And maybe I shouldn't sell your weird monster friends who made all this shit.
Elliott Kalan
[55:23] Yes, that's also true.
[55:24] Okay.
[55:25] I feel like that's Juice and Tangerine working at Crossroads.
[55:27] Yeah, Crossroads.
[55:27] It's a great game of thrones.
Dan McCoy
[55:28] I don't know, that one keeps peeing himself and it's really disturbing.
[55:31] Can we just get him out of here, though?
[55:32] Yeah, I don't know.
Griffin Newman
[55:34] I'm not having him at the show, at least.
[55:35] But he's essential to the process.
[55:36] Okay.
[55:37] Another thing with that nerd, by the way, is all the other Garbage Pail Kids.
[55:40] They seem to kind of relish in doing their thing.
[55:43] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[55:43] Like, Wendy Winston loves farting.
Griffin Newman
[55:46] Nat nerd is so mortally embarrassed every time he pees.
[55:50] It is so, like, it feels like you're briefly getting glimpses of, like, a Todd Solins movie.
[55:56] Yeah.
[55:56] Where he's, like, crying, going, like, oh, no.
[56:00] I can't pee again.
[56:02] Oh, no.
[56:03] And then they all sort of look at him and go, like, you fucking idiot.
Elliott Kalan
[56:07] Nat nerd.
Griffin Newman
[56:07] Why are you pissing yourself like a goddamn baby?
[56:09] Even Foul Phil keeps it in his diaper.
[56:13] Yeah.
[56:13] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[56:15] Because he is a baby.
Elliott Kalan
[56:16] Oh, no.
[56:18] I'm peeing.
Stuart Wellington
[56:22] Man, I want to smash cut to last night while Griffin practices all these in front of the mirror.
Elliott Kalan
[56:28] They're so close.
[56:31] And there is a moment.
[56:32] I will give the movie credit.
[56:33] Tangerine is very evil, and she's very nasty to the models at her fashion show in a way that I thought was very funny.
[56:38] Yeah.
[56:38] That she is essentially, like, a teenager who is going, who's like, a little bit too much makeup there, miss.
[56:44] Like, she is, it's very funny.
[56:45] 86 the gum.
Stuart Wellington
[56:46] 86 the gum.
[56:47] So, Dodger and Manzini team up.
[56:50] They need to save the garbage bale kids from the stay-at-home-for-the-ugly.
[56:53] They enlist the bikers from the bar.
[56:55] Yeah, they're buddies.
[56:56] Then we have our, like, cabin in the woods, save the freaks moment where everybody's let loose.
[57:01] It's great.
[57:02] They rip the pants off the security guard.
[57:04] They breathe and fart on until he passes out.
Griffin Newman
[57:09] They all do their thing.
[57:10] They use their powers and specials.
Stuart Wellington
[57:12] They do, again, after learning that all the other garbage bale kids were crushed to death, they celebrate and leave.
[57:18] It is great that when the bikers depart, you don't even get a single shot of them riding away on bikes.
[57:22] They're like, we can't afford this.
[57:23] It's all sound effects, right?
[57:25] Yep.
[57:25] Then they're riding so high off their success, they decide to attack the fashion show.
[57:30] This is where the garbage bale kids sneak in and then rip the clothes off all the models, which I'm like, you're not to blame.
Elliott Kalan
[57:37] It's the 80s.
Dan McCoy
[57:38] In the 80s, women had their clothes ripped off and then they ran around.
[57:42] They ran around in circles.
Elliott Kalan
[57:44] Understandably.
[57:44] Squealing.
[57:45] Ran around screaming.
[57:45] Not finding an exit or cover up.
[57:47] Yeah, but ran around screaming in terror.
[57:50] Confused also.
[57:51] But this is, it's like, there's so much in this movie where I'm like, yeah, that was the 80s.
[57:55] It was a bad time.
[57:55] It was.
[57:56] Not everything that came out of the 80s was War Games or Breaker Morant.
[57:59] They were bad movies.
Griffin Newman
[58:00] What is this movie if not trenchant Reagan era satire?
[58:04] We were all running around in circles as if garbage belt kids had ripped off our clothes.
[58:09] We didn't know what to do.
Elliott Kalan
[58:10] They truly were asleep walking through history.
[58:12] You're right.
[58:13] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[58:13] Luckily, they were all wearing, they're wearing bikinis underneath.
[58:16] And the entire fashion show descends into chaos.
[58:20] And in the midst of that chaos, Dodger and Juice finally have a fight.
[58:24] And what's great about this is not only is it really intense, but also most of the shots,
[58:30] the actor who's playing Dodger is a grown man.
[58:34] They make very little attempt to hide this.
[58:37] It's amazing.
[58:38] Unlike the actor who is a 14-year-old boy.
[58:41] Okay.
Griffin Newman
[58:42] There's this sort of classic moment where somehow Dodger finally gets one up on Juice, right?
[58:48] Yes.
[58:49] There's like some crazy sort of like Golden Harvest backflips and crazy moves.
[58:53] But finally, he's just got a pin to the ground.
[58:56] And he's just like wailing on his face.
[58:58] And they cut to a close-up of now not adult stunt double, but real Mackenzie Aston,
[59:04] like crying hysterically as he punches his bully.
[59:07] Covered in blood.
[59:08] Yes.
[59:09] But like hyperventilating.
[59:11] Yeah.
[59:11] And then Captain Manzini has to come up and be like, do not sink to their level.
[59:15] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[59:15] Like, know your limits.
[59:17] It's an oddly like sad and realistic moment how destroyed he is that he has like reverted
[59:23] to pure violence and beaten the shit out of this other kid.
Griffin Newman
[59:26] So once again, unverified, unsubstantiated, but I need to be a trivia claims.
[59:32] That the actor who played Juice claimed that he tried to employ method acting during the production
[59:39] of this movie and genuinely bullied Mackenzie Aston to try to get a more realistic performance
[59:46] out of him.
[59:46] In the garbage mail kids' mood.
[59:48] Oh, God.
[59:48] And with distance, recognizes that perhaps he went too far.
[59:53] But the moment where Dodger starts punching Juice feels like you're seeing something very
[59:58] real and very uncomfortable.
[1:00:00] Yes.
[1:00:01] Yes.
[1:00:01] So they...
[1:00:02] It worked is what you're saying.
Stuart Wellington
[1:00:04] Dodger is dragged away.
[1:00:07] I guess this is resolved at this point.
[1:00:09] Shortly after, Tangerine approaches Dodger and she's like, she tries to apologize.
[1:00:13] She says, maybe we can be friends and do fun things.
[1:00:18] Dodger, to his credit, says, no thanks.
[1:00:21] I don't think you're pretty anymore.
[1:00:24] Oh, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:00:26] It's rough.
[1:00:26] Rough.
[1:00:26] Rough.
[1:00:27] It's fucking savage.
[1:00:28] Yeah.
[1:00:29] And then a jaunty song about being a garbage pail kid plays yet again.
[1:00:34] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:00:34] Mancini plays the song backwards, hoping it'll suck the garbage pail kids into their pail.
[1:00:39] Instead, they just run off.
[1:00:40] He gets sucked into the pail himself.
[1:00:42] Yeah.
[1:00:42] And they ride off on their Hot Wheels and they wave to the camera and then we get the garbage
[1:00:47] pail's theme song credits.
[1:00:49] Yes.
Griffin Newman
[1:00:49] So there's the garbage pail kids theme song with lyrics that they play in the middle of
[1:00:54] the movie and they're sort of like causing trouble montage and then plays again in full
[1:00:58] in the end credits.
[1:00:59] The one that was nominated for an Academy Award.
[1:01:01] Yes.
[1:01:01] Yeah.
[1:01:02] We all know it.
[1:01:04] And then there's the garbage pail kids sort of like score theme, like the character theme
[1:01:11] that will play throughout the movie that doesn't have lyrics and isn't the same as the theme
[1:01:15] song.
[1:01:16] And Mancini has the aha moment late in the film.
[1:01:20] It's like the fifth time you cut to him at the piano being like, seas are filled with whales,
[1:01:26] put them back in the pail.
[1:01:27] No, that's not it.
[1:01:29] Like he keeps trying to write a song that he thinks will put them back in and then he starts
[1:01:34] playing the score from the movie as if he knows the music that's playing in his reality for
[1:01:41] the audience watching him.
[1:01:43] And his aha moment is, well, if that's their theme forwards and I need them back in the can,
[1:01:49] then I play it backwards.
[1:01:52] And he brings them all around the can and he's like, now, unfortunately, it's time.
[1:01:57] Explains the whole thing to them.
[1:01:59] You little assholes are going back in the can.
[1:02:01] Right.
[1:02:01] And they're like, ah, we don't want to.
[1:02:03] And he's like, come on now.
[1:02:05] And then he basically says, now stand here like good little garbage pail boys and girls
[1:02:10] while I play this instrumental theme backwards and you go back in.
[1:02:14] And I'll close my eyes the whole time because I'm feeling the music so deeply.
[1:02:19] And that's when they sneak off.
Elliott Kalan
[1:02:22] Yeah.
[1:02:22] And they're like, oh, going back in the can now.
[1:02:24] Oh, see you, buddy.
[1:02:25] Like, they're just, they're really narrating it.
Griffin Newman
[1:02:28] There are all these moments where Manzini, and these are the stretches of dialogue that
[1:02:32] feel written by Newly trying to give the movie some point, where the movie's trying to wrestle
[1:02:36] with like, is the point that we society judge people based on their looks and that's a problem
[1:02:42] and we're the real garbage pail kids?
[1:02:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1:02:45] Are garbage pail kids these sort of like-
[1:02:48] It's funny games.
[1:02:48] These demons, are they like the embodiments of our worst traits?
[1:02:52] Like, they are us.
[1:02:53] It's not about us judging them on visuals.
[1:02:55] It's about like, they speak to the inner evils of man, much like Tangerine's behavior does.
[1:03:01] Or is the point that the garbage pail kids are kind of cool and that Manzini is trying to
[1:03:06] just like Henry Doolittle them and make them a little more polite?
[1:03:10] But the main garbage pail kid theme song, similarly, the lyrics cannot decide what the message
[1:03:16] is.
[1:03:18] Here's how the chorus goes.
[1:03:21] If your teacher says you're bad and sends you to the principal, you can be a garbage pail
[1:03:25] kid.
[1:03:26] Uh-huh.
[1:03:26] Okay, so that's sort of saying like, checks out, yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:03:29] Sort of the Jeff Foxworthy sort of premises being set up, like-
Elliott Kalan
[1:03:34] If you vomit so much that your last name is vomit, you might be a garbage pail kid.
[1:03:40] Yeah.
[1:03:40] If your response to any situation is to fart on the person nearest to you, you may be a
Griffin Newman
[1:03:49] garbage pail kid.
[1:03:49] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:03:50] If you go to a restaurant and the waitress says, what would you like to eat?
[1:03:55] And you say, human toes.
[1:03:56] You may be a garbage pail kid.
Stuart Wellington
[1:04:01] I can't believe you're not strutting around the stage.
[1:04:04] Oh, shut up.
Elliott Kalan
[1:04:05] You're right.
[1:04:06] If you're listening to this on the podcast, please imagine that I'm walking back and forth
[1:04:09] on the stage.
Griffin Newman
[1:04:12] So these lyrics are framing it in this sort of way of like, we're all garbage pail kids.
[1:04:17] If you're a kid who has been misunderstood by adults, right?
[1:04:21] Sure, yeah.
[1:04:22] Each of us has a garbage pail kid.
[1:04:22] If your parents say you're dressed like you should be in a carnival, you can be a garbage
[1:04:27] pail kid.
[1:04:28] Like, it's that kind of-
[1:04:29] Right.
[1:04:30] And then the next couple of lines are, it's international, radical, how anything unusual
[1:04:36] ends up like a garbage pail kid.
[1:04:39] Like, now it's a we are the world sort of sentiment.
Elliott Kalan
[1:04:43] It's so easy to be a outsider as a garbage pail kid.
[1:04:46] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[1:04:47] You think you're all so brave and all so cute, but you don't understand.
[1:04:51] You try to persecute.
[1:04:52] Well, here's a pail and here's a lid.
[1:04:56] You can be a garbage pail kid.
Dan McCoy
[1:04:59] What the fuck does that mean?
[1:04:59] Now it's sort of an en vogue sort of message song.
Griffin Newman
[1:05:05] It's like at odds with itself in real time.
[1:05:07] Yeah.
[1:05:08] Yeah.
[1:05:08] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:05:09] Well, those are the contradictions that fuel great art.
[1:05:12] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:05:12] Well, I mean, it's been said there are two garbage pail kids inside of each one of us.
Dan McCoy
[1:05:19] One of mine is Nedner.
[1:05:21] Get the fuck out of me.
[1:05:22] Yeah.
[1:05:22] Stop peeing.
[1:05:22] Get out of here.
[1:05:23] Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:05:24] Guys, I actually finished that summary.
[1:05:26] Yeah.
[1:05:27] Yeah.
[1:05:27] Yeah.
[1:05:27] Yeah.
[1:05:27] Yeah.
[1:05:27] Good job, Stuart.
[1:05:29] Thank you.
[1:05:30] Thank you.
[1:05:31] Good job, Stuart.
Elliott Kalan
[1:05:32] Oh, that-
[1:05:33] Thanks for doing the bare minimum.
[1:05:34] Oh, no.
[1:05:35] Don't.
[1:05:35] No.
[1:05:36] Don't fart, Stu.
Dan McCoy
[1:05:36] He's doing the fart dance.
Elliott Kalan
[1:05:38] Please, Stu.
[1:05:38] Don't hurt him with your farts.
S7
[1:05:44] Alison Brie was the star of the Netflix series Glow.
S5
[1:05:48] Being a gorgeous lady of wrestling isn't easy.
[1:05:50] Especially when it's time to get in the ring.
S7
[1:05:52] Wrestling is so interesting in that you can't do anything halfway.
[1:05:58] Okay, so now it's time to run at that woman's body and dive over her head first.
[1:06:03] Like, you can't do that halfway.
[1:06:04] You can't do that in slow motion.
Dan McCoy
[1:06:06] Alison Brie on Tights and Fights.
[1:06:08] Max Fun's Perfect Wrestling Podcast.
S5
[1:06:10] Available now.
[1:06:11] And if you don't listen, I'll see you in the ring.
[1:06:16] Hi, this is Bizz.
[1:06:21] And this is the final season of One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting.
[1:06:27] This is going to be a year of celebrating all that makes this podcast and this community magical.
[1:06:33] I'm so glad that I found your podcast.
[1:06:37] I just cannot thank you enough for just being the voice of reason as I'm trying to figure all of this out.
Elliott Kalan
[1:06:45] Thank you and cheers to your incredible show and the vision you had to provide this space for all of us.
S5
[1:06:50] This is still a show about life after giving life.
[1:06:53] And yes, there will be swears.
[1:06:55] You can find us on MaximumFun.org.
[1:06:59] And as always, you are doing a great job.
Dan McCoy
[1:07:03] Hey there, it's Dan cutting into this live show with an ad break.
[1:07:08] Hey, the Flophouse is sponsored mostly by you, the listeners.
[1:07:14] But you know what?
[1:07:15] We do have a couple of ads.
[1:07:17] Here's one of them, Squarespace.
[1:07:19] It's the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online.
[1:07:26] Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,
[1:07:29] Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience,
[1:07:33] and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms.
[1:07:40] Foolish Squarespace.
[1:07:41] No man owns time.
[1:07:44] Time is one of the fundamental forces of the universe.
Stuart Wellington
[1:07:48] I think they mean that you can sell your time doing things.
Dan McCoy
[1:07:51] I'm just being silly, Squarespace.
[1:07:54] I'm just joshing you.
[1:07:55] Thanks for sponsoring us.
[1:07:57] Hey, if you're looking for a way to make a website, you can start a totally personalized one with a new guided design system, Squarespace Blueprint.
[1:08:07] Choose from professionally curated layout and styling options to build a unique online presence from the ground up, tailored to your brand or business, and optimized for every device.
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[1:08:55] So, if this interests you, go to Squarespace.com for a free trial.
[1:08:59] And when you are ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
[1:09:10] And you know what?
[1:09:11] We also have a J-J-J-Jumbotron.
[1:09:15] This message is for Jeff the Canadian.
[1:09:18] If your name's Jeff in Canadian, is this for you?
[1:09:21] Possibly.
[1:09:21] It's for Jeff the Canadian from Flink.
[1:09:25] Jeff, if you don't mind me saying so, I think you've had a hell of a year with highs and lows and maybe, most importantly, us turning 50.
[1:09:35] After all this time, I'm finally ready to admit that you're the stew to my Dan.
[1:09:40] And I guess that someday we can try to figure out which Star Trek bridge crew we would want to be in.
[1:09:46] Happy belated, buddy.
[1:09:47] Love you.
[1:09:49] How sweet.
[1:09:51] And also, hey, why not a plug for us, the Flophouse, your friends?
[1:09:56] I've talked about this a lot, so I won't belabor it too much.
[1:10:00] But this Sunday, tomorrow, if you're listening on the day of release, Sunday, August 4th at 8 p.m. Eastern Time, we are premiering Three Men and a Hallie.
[1:10:11] This is the beautifully shot and edited record of our live show where we talked about Three Men and a Baby in Los Angeles with our good friend Hallie Hagland.
[1:10:21] It's got a few small extras in there for people who saw the live show.
[1:10:26] There's a little behind-the-scenes extra stuff that even you didn't see.
[1:10:30] But, you know, it's one of our live shows.
[1:10:32] It's the full live show.
[1:10:34] You know, usually, if you listen on the main feed, in addition to only getting, of course, the audio and not the visuals, you don't get our presentations.
[1:10:43] Here, you get our presentations, our hilarious PowerPoint presentations.
[1:10:48] You get the audience Q&A.
[1:10:49] And, of course, you get a lot of talk about Three Men and a Baby.
[1:10:54] And if you watch on Sunday, August 4th at 8 p.m., myself and Elliot and Stuart will be in the live chat watching along with people and chatting it up.
[1:11:06] But you don't have to be there for the premiere.
[1:11:08] That's just the advantage of being there for the premiere.
[1:11:11] This is available to view for two weeks after for all ticket holders.
[1:11:16] You can re-watch if you like.
[1:11:17] So, if you're interested, you can get tickets at either stagepilot.com slash baby or flophousepodcast.com slash events.
[1:11:28] And now, back to the show.
[1:11:34] Quickly, quickly, we should say our final judgments on the Garbage Pail Kids movie.
[1:11:39] This is a good, bad movie.
[1:11:41] A bad, bad movie.
[1:11:42] A movie we kind of like.
[1:11:44] I am going to...
[1:11:46] I know...
[1:11:47] Abstain?
[1:11:49] I mean, I do think it is an experience more than a film.
[1:11:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1:11:54] It's going to war, yeah.
[1:11:55] An unpleasant one, a baffling one, but one that invigorates.
[1:12:01] And so, I'm going to say...
[1:12:02] It's the movie.
Griffin Newman
[1:12:03] It's like a cold plunge.
[1:12:04] Yeah, yeah.
[1:12:05] Get hit with a birch stick at a rushing...
Dan McCoy
[1:12:07] You wouldn't want to do it all the time, but sometimes you just got to shock the system.
[1:12:11] So, I'm going to say it's a good, bad movie.
[1:12:15] What do you say, Stuart?
Stuart Wellington
[1:12:16] Yeah, I'm with you, Dan.
[1:12:17] This is...
[1:12:19] You know, I had had expectations.
[1:12:21] Elliot had already poisoned the well a little bit by saying it was worse than Nuki, and I'm like, I can't imagine that's possible.
[1:12:28] I think it's a fun, bad movie to watch with friends.
[1:12:32] I would say this is a good, bad movie.
Elliott Kalan
[1:12:33] I think if you were watching it with friends, it could be a good, bad movie.
Stuart Wellington
[1:12:38] More like your family, your two children.
[1:12:40] I think it's hard.
Elliott Kalan
[1:12:42] This is what I was going to say earlier on in the show.
[1:12:44] It is now looking at it from the point of view of a parent and being like, I watched this as a kid,
[1:12:51] and I can only imagine the damage it would do to my sensitive little babies to see this.
[1:12:57] So, judged on its own merits as a film for children, it should be put into a capsule and buried beneath the earth and never let out.
Dan McCoy
[1:13:06] Crushed like a garbage-filled kid.
Elliott Kalan
[1:13:08] But if you're an adult, you're going to watch it with friends and have a drink.
[1:13:11] Sure, it's a good, bad movie.
[1:13:12] Yeah.
Griffin Newman
[1:13:12] You think it should be put into a home for ugly movies.
[1:13:15] Yeah.
[1:13:16] I think this is a great, good movie.
[1:13:19] I think it makes sense and works.
[1:13:27] Just the script writing is impeccable.
Elliott Kalan
[1:13:31] The structure is impeccable, yeah.
Griffin Newman
[1:13:32] No, I think, look, there's a reason I've been pushing this movie on you guys for so long.
[1:13:35] Did this make you uncomfortable, Elliot?
[1:13:37] That's art, buddy.
[1:13:38] That's art.
[1:13:39] You're right.
Elliott Kalan
[1:13:40] You're right.
[1:13:40] That's my fault for being a square.
Griffin Newman
[1:13:43] It holds up a mirror to your face, and that mirror has a Garbage Pail Kids logo above it,
[1:13:48] and your name butchered underneath it, Elliot Mess.
[1:13:52] No, I think I've been trying to get you guys to cover this movie for so long,
[1:13:57] because I think this is like a one-of-one film.
[1:14:00] I think this is like a unique, bad film.
[1:14:04] I think there was no other movie like it in history.
[1:14:07] It feels like just magnets being held in the wrong direction, being forced together.
[1:14:14] Every scene is fighting with itself.
[1:14:16] Every line is fighting with the other lines.
[1:14:18] Every character is in a different movie.
[1:14:21] The Garbage Pail Kids aren't even on the same wavelength with each other.
[1:14:24] I mean, the moment they break into a song in the middle of the movie,
[1:14:27] I'm like, this happens in this?
Elliott Kalan
[1:14:30] It's late to introduce this being a musical.
[1:14:32] Yeah.
[1:14:32] It is, I will say this, it is similar to maybe my favorite movie we've ever done on the Flophouse,
[1:14:38] Cats.
[1:14:39] Yes, yes.
[1:14:39] Because that is another movie where you're watching it, and you're like,
[1:14:42] making a movie, he's making a series of storytelling decisions,
[1:14:45] and they've made every single wrong decision every single time.
[1:14:49] Every time there's been a decision, and there's been a door marked good,
[1:14:52] and a door marked bad, they've been like,
[1:14:54] wouldn't it be more fun to go through the bad door?
Griffin Newman
[1:14:56] But whereas Cats comes out sublime, this comes out, this is the opposite.
[1:15:00] Well, see, I agree with you, and Cats I put into a similar bucket of like,
[1:15:04] it's that thing of if you get every single answer wrong on a test,
[1:15:07] they have to give you 100.
[1:15:09] Yeah, yeah.
[1:15:09] These are movies that shoot the moon, yeah.
[1:15:11] Legally.
[1:15:12] In a certain way, the only way you could be that wrong is to...
[1:15:14] And they also, kids listening at home, they don't have to give you 100 if you get that wrong.
[1:15:18] You can't be that wrong by accident.
[1:15:20] The only way to be that wrong, it defies statistics.
Elliott Kalan
[1:15:23] So it's like that King of the Hill episode.
[1:15:25] Yes.
[1:15:25] Where he needs to have his house not pass the inspection test,
[1:15:28] but he does it so perfectly that the inspector is like,
[1:15:32] whoever did this knows what they're doing.
[1:15:34] Yes.
[1:15:34] Every single rule was broken.
[1:15:36] Good job, yeah.
Griffin Newman
[1:15:37] You can only be this wrong if you know what right is.
[1:15:42] Right?
[1:15:42] This is Miss Griffin, this might be where you and I disagree.
[1:15:46] And it's a movie that makes you like rethink filmic language,
[1:15:50] because at first you might go, well, these pieces don't fit together,
[1:15:54] but you go, but they do because I'm watching it,
[1:15:57] and the movie is continuing.
[1:15:58] It is not breaking down.
[1:16:00] Reality did not end.
[1:16:02] It does.
[1:16:02] It does.
[1:16:03] We are all still alive.
[1:16:04] Yeah.
[1:16:05] We're talking about it.
[1:16:05] Look.
[1:16:06] Our devices did not catch on fire.
[1:16:08] Right?
[1:16:09] But like, and because of that, it's a very unique experience.
[1:16:12] I want to just sort of read this in summation to sort of say like,
[1:16:15] Yeah, sure.
[1:16:15] There are the two garbage fell kids that live inside of us, right?
[1:16:18] Inside all of us.
[1:16:19] Right, yeah.
[1:16:19] We've been lots of time.
[1:16:20] And this feeds back into my theory that, you know,
[1:16:22] people like to talk about film from an auteurist perspective,
[1:16:24] but of course it's like, it's a collaborative medium, right?
[1:16:27] Yeah.
[1:16:27] That's the beauty of the art.
[1:16:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1:16:29] You have someone like Art Spiegelman on the way to winning a Pulitzer for Mouse
[1:16:36] who just goes, let me just doodle off some garbage pail kids,
[1:16:40] and then it takes on a life of its own.
[1:16:42] Yeah, yeah.
[1:16:42] By the way, I met Art Spiegelman once,
[1:16:43] and I asked him if he had ever seen the Garbage Pail Kid movie.
[1:16:48] And he punched you in the face.
[1:16:50] My first and perhaps only question,
[1:16:53] and he said that he went to see it opening weekend with his wife,
[1:16:56] who's another renowned underground cartoonist.
Elliott Kalan
[1:16:59] One of the greatest cartoon editors, too, of all time.
[1:17:01] Yes.
Griffin Newman
[1:17:03] Francoise Mouly.
[1:17:04] Yes, who ran Zap, right?
[1:17:05] Yeah.
[1:17:06] Am I wrong about this?
[1:17:07] What?
[1:17:07] Ran Zap.
[1:17:09] Who?
[1:17:09] The comics anthology.
[1:17:10] His wife, anyway.
[1:17:11] No, no.
[1:17:11] They went to go see it opening weekend,
[1:17:14] and he framed it as,
[1:17:16] I felt like Robert Oppenheimer.
Elliott Kalan
[1:17:19] Wow, so topical.
[1:17:24] I like the existence of the movie so much more,
Griffin Newman
[1:17:26] imagining them going to see this movie.
[1:17:29] Right.
[1:17:30] Like, look, I know I had nothing to do with this movie directly,
[1:17:33] but, like, I created the formula.
[1:17:35] I created what is he in the future.
Dan McCoy
[1:17:37] I like to imagine Art Spiegelman going back to the projection booth,
[1:17:40] like, was this a prank?
[1:17:42] Did you know that I was going to be here,
[1:17:43] and did you know my relationship?
[1:17:45] Did I did this, kind of?
Elliott Kalan
[1:17:47] Now I imagine him, though I imagine him doing the scene from Oppenheimer,
[1:17:50] where he's giving a speech to the other people at Topps about Garbage Pail Kids,
[1:17:54] and he's just hearing the screams of audience members in the background.
[1:17:57] He's losing it as he gives this speech.
Griffin Newman
[1:18:00] In his telling, the only other person in the theater opening weekend was an unhoused man
[1:18:05] who slept through the whole thing.
[1:18:09] But Anthony Newley, who was, I mean, look, we said poor man's Dudley Moore,
[1:18:15] but the guy has some old-school showman charm.
[1:18:17] Sure, yeah.
[1:18:18] He has moments of touching grace.
[1:18:20] He almost sells what he's given.
Elliott Kalan
[1:18:22] Even a poor man's Dudley Moore is a Dudley Moore.
[1:18:24] Right.
[1:18:25] And this is...
[1:18:26] It's not a dinty Moore.
[1:18:27] That would not accomplish things at all.
Griffin Newman
[1:18:29] In my opinion, his finest monologue in the film, if I can just read this.
[1:18:32] Oh, I forgot you had a thing to read.
Elliott Kalan
[1:18:33] I would have said less.
Griffin Newman
[1:18:34] This was all wind up to something.
[1:18:36] Yeah, yeah, yeah, why not?
[1:18:36] We're on stage.
[1:18:38] We all have microphones.
[1:18:39] It's not a holiday.
[1:18:40] He says to Dodger,
[1:18:43] Patience is a bit of wine, dear Dodger, but it bears sweet fruit.
[1:18:47] That's from the Greek.
[1:18:49] Loses a little something in translation.
[1:18:51] Let's add a little sparkle to our merchandise.
[1:18:54] Funny people should call this junk, isn't it?
[1:18:57] When every piece is a diary of the human spirit.
[1:19:00] Take this, for instance, to my darling Mary from Herbert.
[1:19:04] This is more than a book.
[1:19:05] It's a testimony to love.
[1:19:07] And this, ah, did the child who slept with this grow up to shake the world?
Elliott Kalan
[1:19:15] And over here, an early form of air conditioning.
Griffin Newman
[1:19:18] Also a tool of romance.
[1:19:19] It could beckon or rebuff.
[1:19:21] He's holding a paper fan at this point.
[1:19:24] Yeah.
[1:19:24] Yes, I also got rebuffed.
[1:19:27] But like me, this is a relic from a simpler age.
[1:19:30] When good and bad was black and white.
[1:19:32] And a man could settle all his differences with one of these.
[1:19:36] Holds up a fencing sword.
[1:19:37] Hands it to Dodger.
[1:19:39] Then some damn fool invented gunpowder.
[1:19:45] Wait for it.
[1:19:46] Wait for it.
Griffin Newman
[1:19:46] And a bigger damn fool split the atom.
[1:19:51] That's when I decided to leave mankind to its folly.
[1:19:56] And retire here.
[1:19:58] Into this world of memories.
[1:20:00] Now to this point about this film holding multiple realities at once.
[1:20:04] Another line from this same quotes page attributed to girl number two is.
[1:20:09] You want to see a dog wanking off into a garbage pail?
Dan McCoy
[1:20:16] I'm so glad we got that preview of the Anthony Newley and Garbage Pail Kids monologues.
[1:20:23] Your one person show.
Griffin Newman
[1:20:24] I'm doing Mr. Manzini off Broadway.
Elliott Kalan
[1:20:28] You had mentioned that maybe Anthony Newley wrote those lines.
[1:20:32] I think he was just pre-associating.
Dan McCoy
[1:20:34] He was so high.
[1:20:37] So it's very hot in here.
[1:20:40] We've gone long.
[1:20:41] We'll answer five questions from people who line up at that thing.
[1:20:45] And then we'll get out of here.
[1:20:48] Five.
[1:20:49] Yeah.
[1:20:49] All right.
Elliott Kalan
[1:20:50] I'm going to stand up for this part.
[1:20:51] I've been standing for a while.
[1:20:52] That was the most anyone has ever talked about.
[1:20:55] The Garbage Pail Kids movie.
Dan McCoy
[1:20:56] Yeah.
[1:20:56] Yeah.
[1:20:57] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:20:58] All right.
[1:20:58] I can't believe you waited that long to tell us that Art Spiegelman story.
[1:21:01] That's amazing.
[1:21:02] Hello.
[1:21:03] Hello.
[1:21:04] Hello.
Stuart Wellington
[1:21:06] Alex, last name withheld from Boston State withheld.
[1:21:10] Okay.
[1:21:10] Good.
[1:21:11] Smart.
[1:21:11] Smart.
[1:21:12] Yeah.
[1:21:12] All right.
[1:21:13] So if John Waters made this movie, what part do you think he would cast Divine in?
Elliott Kalan
[1:21:20] Oh, you've got to believe Divine's going to be either that big baby or Valerie Vomit, right?
[1:21:28] Or Tangerine.
[1:21:29] Oh, yeah.
[1:21:30] You're right.
[1:21:30] Or, I mean, or the like.
[1:21:31] There's a version where he.
Dan McCoy
[1:21:33] Blythe.
[1:21:33] She could be Mancini, too.
[1:21:35] Yeah, that's true.
Elliott Kalan
[1:21:36] You know what?
[1:21:37] I feel like Divine's playing every part except the kid.
Dan McCoy
[1:21:42] That's the perfect version of this film.
Elliott Kalan
[1:21:43] Yeah, and the kid is like a young Eddie Furlong.
[1:21:45] Something, yeah.
[1:21:45] Yeah.
[1:21:46] Thank you.
[1:21:47] Oh, if only.
[1:21:48] Yeah.
[1:21:49] Good question.
[1:21:49] Good question.
[1:21:50] I hope John Waters is listening so he can make it.
[1:21:53] Hi there.
[1:21:54] Ian, last name withheld.
[1:21:55] Hello.
Stuart Wellington
[1:21:56] My question, not Garbage Pail related, but.
[1:21:59] Oh.
[1:22:00] I'm sorry.
Dan McCoy
[1:22:01] I'm sorry.
[1:22:01] Oh, please.
[1:22:02] Please take it.
[1:22:03] Get out of here.
[1:22:04] Take us out of that world.
Stuart Wellington
[1:22:05] It's a simple fuck, marry, kill, and I'm really interested to hear your responses.
[1:22:09] Okay, yeah.
[1:22:10] Simple.
[1:22:10] All right.
[1:22:11] Let us over again.
Dan McCoy
[1:22:12] Gun to my head.
[1:22:12] Sure, sure, sure.
Stuart Wellington
[1:22:13] Your options are as thus.
[1:22:15] Idris Elba as the djinn from 3,000 Years of Longin.
[1:22:18] Okay.
[1:22:19] Idris Elba as Macavity from Cats.
[1:22:22] Or, last but not least, Idris Elba as Knuckles from Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
[1:22:28] Okay.
[1:22:28] I know which one Dan's going to fuck.
[1:22:30] No.
Dan McCoy
[1:22:32] Mike.
[1:22:33] Goes without saying.
[1:22:35] My cartoon notwithstanding, my presentation before the show, you got to kill Knuckles.
[1:22:42] You fuck Macavity.
[1:22:45] Because, you know, he's committed every human crime, so he knows a few things.
[1:22:50] And then, you got to marry that genie.
[1:22:53] That genie is a great catch.
Elliott Kalan
[1:22:54] Okay, so I'm going to, you marry Knuckles.
[1:22:56] He's hilarious.
[1:22:59] You got to fuck the genie, of course.
[1:23:01] Because he, I'm with magic and stuff.
[1:23:03] You can't have sex in the cavity.
[1:23:05] He has no genitals, Dan.
[1:23:07] We've seen it.
Dan McCoy
[1:23:09] Sex is not just penetration, Ellie.
[1:23:11] There are things that can be done.
Stuart Wellington
[1:23:13] Dan has a series of diagrams who can show you.
Elliott Kalan
[1:23:17] Anyway, I will kill Macavity for committing every human crime.
Stuart Wellington
[1:23:20] Yes.
[1:23:20] Yeah.
[1:23:21] I think that's obvious.
[1:23:23] You kill Macavity.
[1:23:24] You marry the gen.
[1:23:26] Because, I mean, he's just reliable.
[1:23:28] He's there forever.
[1:23:29] Yeah.
[1:23:29] And, yeah, does that, you're going to have to have sex with Knuckles?
[1:23:32] Yes.
[1:23:33] Okay.
[1:23:33] But you got to bring him out.
Dan McCoy
[1:23:36] Thank you for asking that.
[1:23:39] Griffin didn't even get to answer.
Griffin Newman
[1:23:41] I mean, I have a very different answer than you three.
[1:23:45] I would say I fuck Alligator because he's nasty.
[1:23:50] I marry Valerie Vomit because she's nurturing.
[1:23:53] She's nurturing.
[1:23:54] She's nurturing and dependable, yeah.
[1:23:55] And I kill Nat Nerd because he's pathetic and doesn't deserve life.
Dan McCoy
[1:23:59] Oh.
[1:24:00] Oh.
[1:24:00] Oh.
[1:24:01] So sad now.
[1:24:02] Sad.
[1:24:02] Sad.
[1:24:03] I hate him, but.
Elliott Kalan
[1:24:03] Our next question asker was appalled by that answer.
[1:24:07] Yeah.
[1:24:07] Apologies.
[1:24:08] It's a gross man.
S6
[1:24:12] Catherine, last name withheld.
[1:24:14] Also not Garbage Pail Kids related.
[1:24:16] Yay.
[1:24:17] Okay.
[1:24:17] So several years ago, I watched Gangs of New York.
[1:24:20] And Leonardo DiCaprio opened his mouth and spoke in an Irish accent.
[1:24:24] And I went, ew.
[1:24:25] And then several years later, I watched The Departed and thought, oh, great.
[1:24:32] Somebody told him not to do that again.
[1:24:34] So what is the most memorable moment you have of watching a movie you're enjoying and then
[1:24:39] someone speaks in an accent and you go, ew.
Stuart Wellington
[1:24:44] I mean, I would say now I appreciate gross, horrible accent work.
[1:24:51] But I mean, I don't know.
[1:24:52] Like, recent ones, like, the first couple times when Benedict Cumberbatch showed up as
[1:24:57] Doctor Strange with his New York accent, I'm like, what the fuck is happening here?
Griffin Newman
[1:25:02] Stuart, what are you talking about?
[1:25:04] He sounds like a normal American man.
[1:25:07] Well, here in the city that never sleeps.
[1:25:10] Just your average New York magic doctor.
Elliott Kalan
[1:25:14] But you have to admit that the movie never would have worked if he had his normal voice,
[1:25:18] right?
[1:25:19] Like, you never would have bought him as a wizard if he had an English accent.
[1:25:22] That would be crazy.
[1:25:24] I think similarly, there's a voice that I'm going to...
[1:25:28] I love Tom Hardy.
[1:25:29] I love his accents.
[1:25:30] The voice he does as Venom, I feel like I call English guy doing a lower class New York
[1:25:36] accent, where he's like,
[1:25:37] And it always sounds like Marlon Brando doing a bad English accent.
[1:25:44] That rubs me the wrong way.
Stuart Wellington
[1:25:46] I feel like if he heard you say that, he'd be like,
[1:25:48] That's what I was going for.
Elliott Kalan
[1:25:49] He got it.
[1:25:50] The same way, I assume he heard me talking about his Bane voice and how it sounds like
[1:25:53] Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof.
[1:25:55] And he was like,
[1:25:56] Exactly.
[1:25:57] That's what I was going for.
[1:25:59] A Batman on the roof?
[1:26:01] Well, you know.
Dan McCoy
[1:26:03] I've been racking my brain.
[1:26:05] I can't...
[1:26:05] I'm so forgiving of this shit.
[1:26:07] I know that there's some stuff, but like most of the times that people are like,
[1:26:10] What's that?
[1:26:11] I'm like,
[1:26:12] Eh, it's fun.
[1:26:12] They tried.
[1:26:13] I have like a parent's at a kid's recital attitude towards them.
[1:26:18] Eh, you know, they're doing the work.
[1:26:20] Whatever.
Elliott Kalan
[1:26:21] Griffin, you're an actor.
[1:26:22] What do you think about this?
Griffin Newman
[1:26:24] You know, I mean, you brought up Benedict Cumberbatch, but...
[1:26:27] Benedict Cumberbatch, beautiful speaking voice, right?
[1:26:30] Like one of the greatest speaking voices.
[1:26:32] Best voice in the world.
[1:26:33] We have.
[1:26:34] And they announced he was going to play the Grinch in the animated Grinch.
[1:26:37] And I was like, what a slam dunk.
[1:26:39] Like he's sort of like a modern Boris Karloff.
[1:26:42] He has that buttery eloquent...
[1:26:44] Yeah, he was smog.
[1:26:45] And then I saw the trailer and he's like,
[1:26:47] I hate Christmas.
[1:26:51] And there was something about...
[1:26:52] I think I would have reacted negatively to the Grinch sounding like that.
[1:26:56] And you're like, that's our voice.
[1:26:57] Yes.
[1:26:57] Yes.
[1:26:59] That's saved for movie podcasters.
[1:27:01] Not the Grinch.
Elliott Kalan
[1:27:03] It does bother me when you bring in a famous actor to do a voice.
[1:27:07] And they're doing like Chris Pine as a...
[1:27:10] Sorry, Chris Pratt as Mario.
[1:27:12] Yeah.
[1:27:12] Where it's like, there's so many...
[1:27:13] Not Italian enough.
[1:27:15] Not even not Italian enough.
[1:27:17] Why would you bother bringing him in to do a voice that's not really in his wheelhouse
[1:27:21] when that's...
[1:27:21] There's a billion other people who do that voice.
Griffin Newman
[1:27:23] But Cumberbatch is...
[1:27:24] The Grinch is the opposite.
[1:27:26] Where it's like, this is right in your wheelhouse.
[1:27:27] Yeah.
[1:27:28] He's like, I have an idea, actually.
Elliott Kalan
[1:27:29] You know what?
[1:27:30] It's like Nicolas Cage in Peggy Sue Got Married, right?
[1:27:33] Where everyone was like, do not use that voice.
[1:27:36] Give us a take without that voice.
[1:27:37] He's like, nope.
[1:27:38] Like...
[1:27:39] All right.
Dan McCoy
[1:27:43] Thank you.
[1:27:43] Thank you.
[1:27:44] Good question.
[1:27:44] All right.
[1:27:48] Sam, last name withheld.
[1:27:50] So, The Holdovers was a really great movie.
[1:27:53] It is...
[1:27:53] Thank you.
[1:27:54] I worked on it.
[1:27:56] Paul Giamatti's performance is sort of Paul Giamatti.
[1:28:00] It is Paul Giamatti-ist.
[1:28:02] Are there any beloved movies you guys have where, you know, one of the actors sort of gives
[1:28:06] their kind of platonic ideal performance?
[1:28:09] That sort of is the default thing you think of.
Elliott Kalan
[1:28:13] For me, my favorite movie of all time, everyone knows I'm on record, The Taking of Palomone
[1:28:17] 2-3.
[1:28:18] Walter Matthau is so Walter Matthau in that.
[1:28:20] And it's...
[1:28:21] Every moment of it is wonderful, except the one moment we all know that's not so wonderful.
[1:28:25] But just that he's like...
[1:28:26] He just seems to be the two sides of Walter Matthau, which is, I don't give a shit about
[1:28:32] whatever I'm doing at this moment.
[1:28:33] And also, I'm so mad and I'm so stressed out at what's happening.
[1:28:37] And that's...
[1:28:37] Yeah.
[1:28:37] Just...
[1:28:38] He doesn't get more Walter Matthau.
[1:28:39] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:28:40] Three quarters of us were at the BAM screening of Clifford last night.
Elliott Kalan
[1:28:45] Let me...
[1:28:46] Let me...
[1:28:47] Get away from the fact I did not join you at this Clifford screening.
Dan McCoy
[1:28:51] It was your...
[1:28:51] It was your mistake.
Elliott Kalan
[1:28:52] We were...
[1:28:53] We were talking about scheduling something else and Dan's like, well, of course, there
[1:28:56] is the Clifford screening.
[1:28:57] And I'm like, what are you talking about?
[1:28:59] Like this nationwide...
Stuart Wellington
[1:29:00] Everyone was there.
Elliott Kalan
[1:29:02] Everyone...
[1:29:03] I forgot.
Stuart Wellington
[1:29:03] It crashed the BAM website, Elliot.
[1:29:05] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:29:05] I forgot when Joe Biden at the State of the Union said, and I'll see you, America, at the
[1:29:09] Clifford screening at the end.
Dan McCoy
[1:29:11] But one of the great pleasures of it is seeing Charles Grodin, just like really Charles Grodin
[1:29:16] it up and that...
[1:29:17] So good.
[1:29:18] Just being like a slow burn of like utter rage covered with like this false cheer that
[1:29:26] he has to maintain.
[1:29:28] It's just a beautiful thing to watch.
[1:29:31] Like pure Grodin.
Stuart Wellington
[1:29:34] Oh man, I can't really think anything.
[1:29:36] Griffin?
[1:29:37] I was weirdly going to say Grodin in Midnight Run.
[1:29:40] Wow.
[1:29:41] He was a guy who really...
Griffin Newman
[1:29:42] A softer version.
[1:29:43] ...knew how to do his thing really well.
[1:29:45] Yeah.
[1:29:48] That's it.
Dan McCoy
[1:29:50] Stuart tells it how it is.
[1:29:53] All right.
S7
[1:29:54] Hi, this is Liz, last name withheld, and semi-related to this experience.
[1:30:00] I don't know about calling it a movie, but semi-related to this experience.
[1:30:04] We're sort of in this renaissance right now of not necessarily just animated, but like
[1:30:10] more cartoon stuff being adapted to live action.
[1:30:13] But we haven't really seen the reverse, your animatrixes, so to speak.
[1:30:17] Is there any live action piece of media that you think would be a good fit for the reverse
[1:30:24] setting, so to speak?
[1:30:26] That's a good idea.
Dan McCoy
[1:30:28] Masters of the universe.
[1:30:30] I mean, it's already happened, but like, you know, I think that the Incredibles proved
[1:30:36] that like maybe the best version of a Fantastic Four movie would just do an animated movie.
[1:30:41] But like, there's so many things that, you know, in the last Sonic episode, I was like,
[1:30:47] there's like three CGI characters on screen right now interacting with a big CGI robot.
[1:30:53] Why is this quote-unquote live action?
[1:30:55] Just make it a cartoon.
Elliott Kalan
[1:30:56] And then they could get pregnant, right, Dan?
[1:30:58] I mean, that started, I mean, it started as a cartoon, but...
Griffin Newman
[1:31:02] So it's not exact.
[1:31:03] Make it a cartoon so it can get nice and warm.
[1:31:08] I like to reuse an answer I've said a lot on my own podcast, but like I desperately want
[1:31:14] there to be a like 80s, the whole sort of like Rambo, RoboCop are all on Saturday morning
[1:31:23] TV and you have these kidified versions where no one dies.
[1:31:26] I so badly want the John Wick animated series where it's him and like a squad of talking dogs
[1:31:34] and no bullets were ever fired.
Stuart Wellington
[1:31:38] I mean, I mean, like the, your beloved Fast and Furious franchise would be a perfect animated series.
Griffin Newman
[1:31:44] They've done a series for a couple seasons on Netflix that I would say is the grip and griffin of the Fast and Furious universe
[1:31:51] and how much it sucks.
[1:31:54] It's not that, like, which is what it should be.
[1:31:56] It's, it's Dominic Toretto's nephew and some random kids who like tech a lot.
Elliott Kalan
[1:32:02] I'm not into it.
[1:32:03] No.
[1:32:04] I, uh, I mean, this is kind of a step removed to something else, but they did the Sandman TV show.
[1:32:11] I wish that had been an animated show.
[1:32:12] I think it would have been beautiful.
[1:32:13] I think they would have done some amazing stuff with it.
[1:32:15] And it's not, not beautiful as it is.
[1:32:17] They did a very good job of it.
[1:32:18] But watching it, I was like, oh, if only this was like, if they had done this in a, in a, as a mature animated show, it could have been.
[1:32:25] Well, like Family Guy?
[1:32:26] Yeah, exactly.
[1:32:27] Yeah, you know.
Dan McCoy
[1:32:28] Like, like heavy metal?
[1:32:29] Yeah.
[1:32:30] Like heavy metal?
Elliott Kalan
[1:32:31] Yeah.
[1:32:32] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:32:32] I mean, it'd be like heavy metal if heavy metal wasn't bad.
[1:32:34] Yeah, sure.
Dan McCoy
[1:32:35] But I mean, like, I mean, particularly this.
[1:32:37] Shots fired, shots fired, bam, bam.
[1:32:38] Oh, I think there's some good stuff in there.
[1:32:40] Yeah.
[1:32:41] At this, like, post-Spiderverse time, too, where like, we're getting away from like, oh, all cartoons that are theatrical released look kind of the same.
[1:32:47] They don't have to look Disney Don Bluth.
Elliott Kalan
[1:32:48] They don't have to look photorealistic Romeo and Juliet style.
[1:32:51] Yeah.
[1:32:52] Like they, like that they could do.
Griffin Newman
[1:32:54] Photorealistic Gnomeo and Juliet.
[1:32:57] Those gnomes.
[1:32:58] That is your example for photorealism?
[1:33:01] Yeah, I have seen that movie.
[1:33:03] That's not how I would describe it.
Elliott Kalan
[1:33:05] Right.
[1:33:06] I guess you don't live in a world of magic and whimsy.
Griffin Newman
[1:33:09] Like, I wasn't watching that movie going, where did they shoot this?
Elliott Kalan
[1:33:13] What lenses did they use?
[1:33:15] I'm so used to see, I'm so used to-
[1:33:16] Can I meet that gnome?
Stuart Wellington
[1:33:17] I'm so used to Elliot just talking that most of it just slides over me, Griffin.
[1:33:20] I'm like, I'm not gonna challenge it because I don't want to know the answer.
Griffin Newman
[1:33:24] As an American paid full ticket price to see Gnomeo and Juliet opening weekend, I must take a stand against this.
Stuart Wellington
[1:33:31] I cannot let that statement flow by.
[1:33:33] I will retract that example.
[1:33:35] Is that part of the Sherlock Gnomes universe or is that different?
[1:33:38] That's the sequel.
[1:33:39] Yeah.
Elliott Kalan
[1:33:40] Thank you.
[1:33:41] But anyway, yeah, I would love to see a Sandman anime thing.
[1:33:44] Yeah.
Dan McCoy
[1:33:45] Thank you.
[1:33:46] Thank you so much.
[1:33:47] And also, thanks to all of you for bearing with far more talk about the Garbage Pail Kids movie than any rational human being should ever have to.
[1:33:57] No.
[1:33:59] Thank you again.
[1:34:00] Thank you to the Bell House.
[1:34:01] For the Floppers, I've been Dan McCoy.
[1:34:03] I'm Stuart Wellington.
[1:34:04] I'm Elliot Kalin.
Griffin Newman
[1:34:05] And this is...
Dan McCoy
[1:34:06] Gryp and Griffin Newman.
Griffin Newman
[1:34:08] Woo!
[1:34:09] Thank you so much.
[1:34:10] Thank you for coming.
[1:34:12] Thank you.
[1:34:13] Thank you.
[1:34:14] Thank you.
[1:34:38] Maximum Fun.
[1:34:39] A worker-owned network.
[1:34:41] Of artist-owned shows.
[1:34:42] Supported.
[1:34:43] Directly.
[1:34:44] By you.

In this episode

Speakers
Griffin Newman 32mElliott Kalan 24mStuart Wellington 17mDan McCoy 15m

Description

Elliott long claimed we would NEVER do the Garbage Pail Kids Movie, due to its extreme unpleasantness, but it only took a live show and the participation of our most GPK-pushing pal, Mr. Griffin Newman, of the excellent Blank Check podcast to break his resolve. What other core principles can we make Elliott discard? Keep listening in the years to come, and we'll see!

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Wikipedia page for The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

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