Ep.#430 - The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, LIVE, with Griffin Newman!

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss the Garbage Pail Kids!

[0:04] Live from Brooklyn, New York!

[0:30] Live from Brooklyn, New York!

[1:00] I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:04] And joining us, we have a very special guest from a much more popular podcast.

[1:08] That's right. Introduce yourself, sir. I'm Grippin' Griffin Newman.

[1:12] Oh!

[1:16] We really should have prepped that bit ahead of time. We're real at cool names.

[1:20] For the listener at home, a reference to apparently the only Griffin-themed

[1:24] Garbage Pail Kid. I can't believe there wasn't one where it was like a

[1:28] Griffin-like monster. No, and there's no Griffin door. There's no Peter Griffin.

[1:32] There's no... Grippin' Griffin is the only one.

[1:36] And he's a fuckin' wrench with a face. He's a wrench whose teeth are being broken

[1:40] by being used for his purpose, which is to remove a bolt. He literally

[1:44] eats nuts, is what he does. That's how much he sucks.

[1:48] Well, I mean, he's a good source of protein. To be fair, the human tooth is not meant to be

[1:52] a wrench. So, you know, you learn something here.

[1:56] We're just gonna back away a little bit.

[2:00] This is a movie that we have talked about quite a bit.

[2:04] And Griffin had been texting me, I feel like almost every week, saying,

[2:08] Are we doing Garbage Pail Kids? Are you doing Garbage Pail Kids? Is anyone doing Garbage Pail Kids?

[2:12] How can I see Garbage Pail Kids again?

[2:16] Do I have to take children and put them into Garbage Pails to make this happen?

[2:20] And this is a movie that I, like, I loved the Garbage Pail Kids

[2:24] as a child, and I was fascinated by the concept that there was a movie, but my mother

[2:28] possibly wisely was like, You're not allowed to watch that.

[2:32] And it wasn't like, it was also a thing that I had heard about or I saw

[2:36] in the back of, like, Mad Magazine or something, but it didn't, like, play in the movie theater

[2:40] near me. Yeah. Can I ask a fundamental

[2:44] question about this? It's a very small thing, but garbage...

[2:48] What a movie is? Yeah. A flicker.

[2:52] Garbage Pail. Flicker, you said, right? Flicker, yeah.

[2:56] Garbage Pail. Garbage Pail. Is this a thing that people say or did they just put

[3:00] pail in there because it's closer to patch? Midwestern Dan over here never heard of a garbage pail.

[3:04] Is that, I mean, it's like a garbage can, right? Like, that's what

[3:08] we're being shown. Garbage is just an old way of saying trash can. Yeah, garbage pail.

[3:12] Garbage pail? Garbage pail. I just didn't know whether it was an actual

[3:16] thing or whether it was just... Well, it's not like pail and patch are that close.

[3:20] I mean, they could have done Garbage Can Kid and people still, I think, would have gotten it.

[3:24] I think pail was just, there was a little, it's got a little flair to it.

[3:28] Yeah, a pail. You put a gross thing in a pail. Yeah.

[3:32] Yeah, okay. I mean, unless it's a munch pail. Yeah, that makes sense.

[3:36] A can is for, like, responsible disposal and a

[3:40] pail is for boogers, vomit. Exactly. Farts.

[3:44] I have to assume a pail is an open top holder.

[3:48] Yeah, so these kids can just, and their sputum or whatever can just fall right out.

[3:52] Thank you for taking that trip with me, even if perhaps it wasn't the most

[3:56] necessary trip. I found it rewarding.

[4:00] Now, I want to say, Stuart, I saw this movie when I was a kid.

[4:04] Not in the theaters, unfortunately, which is surprising. In a screening room.

[4:08] I was invited to an industry screening event as a child.

[4:12] I saw it, probably on HBO, because I saw it uncut on TV.

[4:16] And I have to admit, my memory was not of being like, oh, what is this?

[4:20] The same way it was when I watched Nothing But Trouble on HBO as a kid.

[4:24] I think this movie washed over me, entered the store of knowledge in my head

[4:28] and I felt no need to comment on it or think about it.

[4:32] And it's only as an adult, watching it again, that I'm like, what the hell is going on in this movie?

[4:36] Like, it should have traumatized me. And yet, I don't know what was going on

[4:40] in my home life at the time that Garbage Pail Kids was somehow an escape from that.

[4:44] I think I saw this movie on VHS.

[4:48] My older cousin, when I came of age...

[4:52] Let me sit you down and tell you about the Garbage Pail Kids.

[4:56] When you had your garb mitzvah.

[5:00] When I had my garb mitzvah. No, I think I was like...

[5:04] Eight or nine, and my older cousin, maybe his...

[5:08] I don't know, his parents were cleaning out the basement.

[5:12] He gifted me his entire Garbage Pail Kids collection of cards

[5:16] of the stickers, which was fairly complete.

[5:20] I became very obsessive.

[5:24] There was one website that I think was called gpkworld.net

[5:28] that was like a Geocities style page.

[5:32] I got a virus just hearing that.

[5:36] It was like the one

[5:40] resource that had Garbage Pail Kid information, because I became obsessive

[5:44] at cataloging these cards and trying to figure out what cards I was missing.

[5:48] In the early days of eBay, trying to buy individual cards.

[5:52] There was a store in the Lower East Side called Love Saves the Day that used to exist.

[5:56] That used to have a ton of Garbage Pail Kids on the desk.

[6:00] I'd carry around a little notebook in my backpack with the cards

[6:04] I was missing to try to fill it in. I honestly admire the organization.

[6:08] Please tell me you had a rival collector who you were trying

[6:12] to chase down the cards before he could get them.

[6:16] The way all Garbage Pail Kids cards had two names, there was an A and a B.

[6:20] There was Grippin Griffin and Wrenchy... Ricky or whatever.

[6:24] I remember saying to people

[6:28] as a child, my greatest goal in life

[6:32] is to complete my Garbage Pail Kids collection

[6:36] before I go off to college.

[6:40] Here's what I like about it.

[6:44] At least it's not your life goal. Before I shuffle off this mortal coil.

[6:48] There was some feeling of, look, when I go off to college

[6:52] it'll be time to put away childish things. But I need to resolve this right before that moment.

[6:56] At which point I clearly will become incredibly mature and never talk about

[7:00] Garbage Pail Kids ever again. Won't figure into your professional life

[7:04] in any way. Won't own a hat or t-shirt representing the brand.

[7:08] Won't show up to college and be like, is there a way that I can minor

[7:12] in Garbage Pail Kids? Nope. I'll major in Garbage Pail Kids.

[7:16] So I made my own major in Garbage Pail Kids Studies.

[7:20] I'll minor in Dinosaurs Attack.

[7:24] But this website I think had a page, because it would tell you other merchandise and stuff like that.

[7:28] And then there was a page that said, The Movie.

[7:32] Click on that. And it was just really the poster.

[7:36] My memory, there weren't even images of it. And I ran to my parents.

[7:40] And I was sort of like, how did you not tell me this existed?

[7:44] And they were like, that exists?

[7:48] How have you been keeping this from me?

[7:52] Found a video store that had a copy. Devoured it.

[7:56] And was like, this is good. This movie makes sense.

[8:00] Because I think on the website, it even said

[8:04] Critically Reviled, Box Office Disaster, Barely Released.

[8:08] And I watched it and I was like, this thing tracks for me from beginning to end.

[8:12] I get it. Very consistent chain of logic.

[8:16] To the degree that it was in the limited selection of movies that I feel like I watched by myself.

[8:20] And then I knocked on my brother's door and I was like, you've got to come watch this.

[8:24] And then just rewound the tape. Did it a second time.

[8:28] I did that with a friend and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

[8:32] I rented it from the video store and I literally stopped it halfway through the movie.

[8:36] And I said, I have to show my friend this. And I rewound to the beginning.

[8:40] And both those movies are roughly the same.

[8:44] I remember doing that with Monty Python, The Meaning of Life, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and the Garbage Pail Kids movie.

[8:48] I stopped the presses. Other people must know.

[8:52] You're just running out in the streets going, have you heard about this?

[8:56] I don't think I ever even owned it on VHS.

[9:00] But I rented it so many different times.

[9:04] I went back to it.

[9:08] It finally was released on DVD in the late 2000s.

[9:12] I actually had not watched it again in a while.

[9:16] I was probably watching it 10 times.

[9:20] By the time I was 14 or 15, then I think I was aware that this is a funny thing to show people.

[9:24] I get that this is fucked up.

[9:28] Did you ever try to show it to your parents?

[9:32] Yeah. And how did that go?

[9:36] I was put up for adoption.

[9:40] Left in a pail outside of Anthony Newley's magic store.

[9:44] I remember pointing and being like, you get it? This is funny.

[9:48] The kind of thing my dad would do.

[9:52] So the movie opens with credits.

[10:00] credit for the tops chewing gum production yeah I think this is their

[10:04] only film yeah I think so there's IMDb trivia you know which is often user

[10:09] submitted and hard to verify does have a trivia fact that this is the first movie

[10:14] ever based on stickers I don't know yeah I don't know we can still that has to go

[10:21] to the judge trying to think if there was another movie based on a collectible

[10:24] cards other than Mars attacks Mars it was regard to get some gut and Mars

[10:29] attacks we're trying to think if there's another one they never made a dinosaur

[10:31] attacks movie we never did good because I would have watched that as a kid and

[10:34] those cards scared me enough that was the original plan when they got the Mars

[10:38] attacks rights was that timber was gonna do Mars attacks and dinosaurs attack

[10:41] back-to-back and America back-to-back back-to-back attack America voted no

[10:47] yeah yeah so we get title cards flying at the screen over space and there's

[10:56] like a garbage can spaceship which play has nothing to do with the movie at no

[11:00] point are they I think it is heavily implied that they are from outer space

[11:04] and they arrived in this garbage can it is never stated no it is never yeah we

[11:09] just see it floating through space and the next time we see it's an Anthony

[11:11] newly it's fair storytelling what do you try it's visuals that's why the shot

[11:16] exists to let us know they're giving the audience credit that they can put it

[11:19] together somehow there's somehow aliens with it an understanding of 50s greaser

[11:24] culture well I mean it also is implied that like they landed long ago and

[11:28] Anthony newly has kept them in this pale prisoners because he is some sort of

[11:33] ageless Merlin figure so yeah he knows magic yeah Stuart not to haunt you

[11:38] before you're even one line down the cards but I do think we need to dig into

[11:42] this deeper no so here's the thing this movie is missing is a shot of images of

[11:48] the garbage pill kids throughout time they're in hieroglyphics one of them has

[11:51] an alligator head yeah old-timey black-and-white photos of them like

[11:55] kissing Forrest Gump on the exit yeah just like in the movie exactly yeah I

[12:02] think it's in the movie it's what JFK that does that you want you want like a

[12:06] Transformers the last night style reveal of they've been here longer than we

[12:10] thought and there's a tapestry with the garbage mail kids and a unicorn is

[12:13] laying its head in there they were working with Harriet Tubman I mean I do

[12:17] honestly actually in Transformers the last year they're on the moon landing no

[12:21] spacesuits they don't need it yeah I do honestly admire the degree to which this

[12:26] movie has no interest in explaining to you who the garbage pill kids are why

[12:32] yeah so the garbage pail is both their transportation device but also their

[12:37] prison yeah there's so it's implied inside the garbage pail yeah they're

[12:41] like a genie yeah it's like a tesseract it's some kind of infinite dimension

[12:46] that they can all fit in right but it's still strong enough that if you put

[12:50] something on top of the lid they cannot get out well but here's another thing

[12:53] you go like okay well it's a normal size guard because from the opening

[12:56] establishing shop right huge it could be the International Space Station the

[13:00] garbage can absolutely yeah but then the can that's in Anthony yeah get

[13:03] comfortable yeah take off your jacket I guess settle in give the people what

[13:07] they want the Canada's in Anthony Lou newly shop yes which Occam's razor we

[13:12] must assume is the same can we see at the beginning of the film perhaps it

[13:15] would be it would be a breaking of film grammar yeah to expect us to think it is

[13:20] two different can thank you yes that much much like Roger Ebert writes about

[13:24] I mean not anymore but as a thank you for the clarification he wrote about he

[13:29] wrote about showing his students being there and at the end spoiler you should

[13:32] see it's a great movie Peter Sellers walks on water and his students saying

[13:35] oh there's probably some reason there's like a thing he's walking on just under

[13:38] the water and Roger said to him you cannot add something that is not in the

[13:42] film you have to take the film at its face value so visually yeah we have to

[13:46] assume that's the same garbage can correct can't just say oh well there's a

[13:49] spaceship garbage can and then they lost it pull out some David Bordwell

[13:53] like film texts and just really break it down you know yeah yeah and but the but

[14:00] so they also but they need magic to get them back in the garbage can right yeah

[14:04] I mean I let's I guess I mean that's like that's if what's the actor Anthony

[14:08] newly plays cap and Manzini who's this like if you're not like we're coded old

[14:14] wizard guy really is very much the poor man's Dudley Moore yeah like he had his

[14:18] own career big Broadway star yeah he's very much the poor man you watching

[14:22] you're like I guess I couldn't get Dudley Moore for this role and yet he'll

[14:25] be in Santa Claus the movie Anthony newly's big thing was like poor man's

[14:29] Dudley Moore as an entertainer but wildly successful as a songwriter wrote

[14:34] pure imagination for Willy Wonka yeah yeah what kind of fool am I is another

[14:38] one is the song I thought you were asking off mic okay yeah yeah so Kevin

[14:45] Manzini owns a antique shop all right right right that where therein lies a

[14:51] garbage a magic garbage can which let's just clarify is normal garbage can sized

[14:56] if we're assuming it's a surprise that it's not vehicle sized I mean it does

[15:02] occasionally squirt out like green ooze so here's my explanation for that again

[15:07] I just said we can't add things from the movie but I'm gonna add things to the

[15:10] movie but okay the can is not a spaceship so much as it is a portal that

[15:14] is flung into space to other places that trend there where there's some kind

[15:18] of jaunt style interdimension made of goo that they that they live within

[15:23] maybe they've been imprisoned there because they're horrible creatures

[15:26] they've been cast out of there you're asking the right questions because this

[15:28] is the interesting thing in the movie is that when you see the normal-sized can

[15:33] in Anthony's shop, Captain Manzini's shop. Captain Manzini's mandolin yeah yeah

[15:40] you're like well is it a TARDIS situation yeah yeah right or like Oscar

[15:44] the Grouch's can where somehow when you go inside the Snoopy's doghouse

[15:49] right exactly right they feel like Oscar the Grouch likes being in his can

[15:52] whereas the Garbage Pail Kids don't want to be in there they would prefer to be

[15:57] working in a basement sweatshop that tells me that yeah they do work in a

[16:02] basement that tells me that the can is not really their natural habitat unlike

[16:05] say Popeye the sailor man who lives in a garbage can right but they like going

[16:10] swimming that is what how do you like to go swimming I don't remember how that

[16:15] okay but you're turned on a heater and burned off something I don't know yeah

[16:19] so there's a in the opening there's a moment where the Garbage Pail Kids get

[16:24] loose but we don't actually get full view of them do we want to talk about

[16:27] the individual yeah we got to talk about individual yeah so these are all classic

[16:31] there are seven of them and I believe there are these are all actual classic

[16:35] sticker card yeah I think they might all even be series one characters yeah the

[16:40] OG GPK is yeah we have alligator who later on is described as the natural

[16:46] leader of the group alligator is a an is an alligator humanoid who eats human

[16:51] toes loves to have a lunchbox full of toes and eyeballs yeah that he eats

[16:56] children's film there's a Wendy Winston who farts farts a lot there's foul Phil

[17:03] who's a baby who has smelly breath mm-hmm Valerie vomit who only vomits

[17:09] once I think yeah well she has to it's like her superpower just use it to

[17:13] defeat the gun of the movie because all the other characters they do their

[17:17] gimmick early and often Valerie vomit saves it yeah you got messy Tessie who's

[17:21] always dripping snot yeah she's kind of messy I guess must be like raising a kid

[17:27] these days huh it is they pick their noses but they clean it all this tick

[17:34] tock make it over overemphasize over a stimulates the nasal passages we have

[17:39] Dan's favorite character Nat nerd who urinates down several times during the

[17:45] movie and I think every time I yelled don't do that at the screen now he is

[17:50] Dan but to be fair he has to be a character who pees himself because he is

[17:53] covered in acne and also wears a Superman costume so of course he's gonna

[17:57] pee himself too and then there's a greaser Greg mm-hmm which I believe you

[18:02] can correct me it was a voice by Andrew Dice Clyde your old-school badass is

[18:10] basically the gorch from Sharpling and Worcester yes but he is continue he he

[18:15] threatens the child star of the movie with a switchblade more than once and

[18:19] speaking of that child star we cut to a park where Dodger played by Mackenzie

[18:24] Asin is running away and then gets shaken down by a gang of toughs juice

[18:29] tangerine Wally and Blythe juices or names that have never occurred in nature

[18:35] together no yeah tell me about juice juice he's the leader he's your classic

[18:42] I guess outsiders what pony boy type you know he's similar and he's also like

[18:46] kind of like pimp coded I guess yes he is he is also well he's a pimp if pimps

[18:52] stole the money that their their charges got from selling the homemade fashion

[18:57] yeah so so the the love interest she is a tangerine tangerine she's a budding

[19:03] fashion designer she makes clothes and then she sells them outside of the hot

[19:06] spots that the kids are hanging out at and then juice just shows up and steals

[19:09] the cigar box with the money in it yeah so this gang of toughs shakes down

[19:12] Dodger again a child 14 year old child yeah who looks about 11 which is kind of

[19:18] a part of the key dynamic of this film yes we should say like the actor and

[19:24] actress who play Dodger here and tangerine are actually one year apart

[19:28] like he's 14 she's 15 when this is made they look like 11 and 18 yeah that's

[19:34] that's what happens with kids of that age yeah never never has nobody's crazy

[19:38] never has the faster maturation of the female body seems more creepy and then

[19:46] when the romantic interweared in a film speaking of creepy and weird one of the

[19:51] toughs Dan I didn't invent the timeline that that people I'm not blaming you I'm

[19:55] saying Garbage Pail Kids makes it feel really creepy cuz like they're like

[19:58] let's make her

[20:00] really old also that she seems to live on her own like she has a job she has a car yeah one of the

[20:06] tufts picks up dodger the kid and uh she tried to kill holds him upside down shaking him doing

[20:12] like a standing 69 and i'm like what's happening here i want to call out juices vibe for a moment

[20:18] because let's do it yeah now's the time a lot of bullies and classic kind of youth-based pictures

[20:24] right or even in reality the uh the physical violence is sort of means to an end right yeah

[20:30] you want something out of the kid uh money uh you want to create a sense of uh power yeah i feel

[20:36] superior because you're mad at yourself right juice almost seems to live for inflicting pain

[20:43] like that is the point to him yeah he's a sadist he's not like i'm gonna beat up this kid hey he's

[20:48] like throw him in the sewers then open up the valves so that the water rushes in not just a

[20:52] murderer not to get the heck he's a batman villain genuinely wants to murder the kid and

[20:57] everyone else is like hold back 10 yeah there is a point later in the movie where not to get

[21:04] spoilers but dodger is making a little bit money of money for his criminal enterprise yeah and he

[21:09] goes like oh god this is working against my natural instinct which is to kill him that he like

[21:16] hates he at least he understands himself but they're like calm down you're making money off

[21:22] this kid and it's like i can't get my fucking rocks off unless i drain the life out of him now

[21:28] now juice's two main hench people the guy and the girl wally and blithe yeah wally and blithe

[21:33] blithe yeah yeah based on blithe danger yeah but now are they supposed to be a couple also

[21:39] i mean it's it's not expressly said in the movie so you can't assume that that's right i can't

[21:43] assume it right because he has like a muscle-bound thug who is not very good at his job and is easily

[21:48] kind of defeated but then he has this muscle-bound girl who's the thug who is a killing

[21:52] machine yeah yeah much stronger to be clear wally and blithe are both uh alternate spotters for you

[21:58] at the gym yeah yeah yes uh and their outfits are incredible um so dodger covered in uh garbage water

[22:07] uh ends up at the antique store where manzini takes care of where he seems to work and is also

[22:12] maybe living and you're probably wondering where are all the fucking parents yeah because they're

[22:15] not in the movie what is the relationship between this man and this elderly wizard this this kid

[22:21] it's like a doc brown thing plus magic going on minus parents michael j fox had parents at least

[22:27] and i mean like i mean the character yeah no manzini is both his surrogate father and maybe

[22:32] just his default father yeah yeah now they're uh you have to imagine again you're not supposed to

[22:38] add things outside the frame that much as between the third and fourth planet of the apes movies a

[22:45] virus swept the earth killing all the dogs and cats and that's why apes are now pets that a virus

[22:49] swept the earth killing parents and that's and anyone who owns an antique store is is immune

[22:55] this is children are immune happening in the night of the comet universe at the same time yeah yeah

[23:00] yeah the notccu yeah so uh while he while there while he's like sharing various uh pearls of

[23:08] wisdom they talk about the magical garbage can which uh manzini describes is kind of like a

[23:13] pandora's box which i think adds some uh background to the garbage pail kids not really but yeah

[23:21] later on dodger tries to impress tangerine who's looking in the shop window

[23:26] he gives her some stuff and then juice and the gang show up and start some trouble and they

[23:30] end up knocking over that does sound like a 70s funk act yeah yeah they end up knocking over that

[23:34] can and green ooze starts spilling out now this is interesting right because you're saying okay

[23:40] is this a portal to another dimension but we've also seen them basically traveling inside of it

[23:46] because you do hear their voices rattling around when the camera is like moving almost like it's

[23:52] breathing like the can is live right but if it's filled with david cronenberg's garbage fail kids

[23:57] the movie the can don't tempt me with this but the kids don't crawl out of the can they don't

[24:04] like magically mary poppins-esque like you know clown car like leave her out green goo comes out

[24:11] the bullies get fucking grossed out and go like let's make a run for it yeah they see that

[24:17] it gives them the idea to then go into a nearby sewer toss the little boy down there open up a

[24:24] open up a pipe that says toxic waste and and have toxic waste all over a little to be fair they

[24:29] shouldn't have that pipe down there that i feel like that all the pipes have labels yes and

[24:33] there's a little bit every now and then the movie has a little bit of background social satire

[24:37] there's a pipe that says broadcast television like oh that's where the that's where the gunk is not

[24:43] knowing that broadcast television was the single greatest financial model for television okay

[24:48] all right we wrecked it okay it is like the power of the written word is a major running theme in

[24:54] this movie this is one of the most well-labeled films i've ever seen it's a movie that believes

[24:59] in the in texts yeah a series of texts yeah yeah that cry out to be interpreted there's a hot tub

[25:05] pipe every every jail cell is individually they all labeled we'll get to that yeah yeah also to

[25:11] the broadcast television point this is a director who directed several episodes of gilligan's island

[25:16] my mother the car other great classics of the television art form this was the movie that he

[25:21] went out on and somehow maybe not the nadir of his business the guy named rod amatow whose career

[25:26] started doing stunts for rebel without a cause and being a dialogue director on uh in a lonely

[25:33] place and ended his career with the garbage pail kids movie and you look at his life well lived

[25:40] this is basic like his career spans like the evolution of like modern hollywood and tv and

[25:46] film and every genre and whatever and you're like oh and he made this film when he was really old

[25:50] and he died shortly thereafter yeah no he died like 35 years after this movie came out he just

[25:56] lived in shame for no i don't know i think he went out on top i feel like that's the entertainment

[26:00] career equivalent of collecting every single garbage pail kids before college sure he made

[26:06] the movie and he said he said i've said what i need to say it's a thousand medium but this is

[26:10] his final credit effort yeah okay so uh the little boy has left in the sewer covered in garbage he is

[26:17] rescued by the garbage pail kids who then wrecked the store now let's describe what they look like

[26:23] i think that's an important thing because they are they are little people in costumes yeah with masks

[26:28] that kind of move with animatronic heads i'm trying for the language head yeah if i describe them i'd

[26:33] say bad they look i quite awful i i was saying to my co-host earlier that like we got food while

[26:42] watching the movie and i am not a person like if there's a gross horror movie thing i think indian

[26:47] food was a mistake yeah because dan usually you're like it's time for dinner throw margars on there

[26:52] yeah no i like if there's a gross horror movie thing it does nothing to me i'm not one of the

[26:56] people who's like i can't eat during this but like there were a couple times where they just did a

[27:00] close-up of the face of the bad animatronic i'm like i can't eat yeah i couldn't tell what was

[27:07] worse the moments when the faces just aren't moving at all or when they are moving there's

[27:13] sort of like urban legend that the faces kept on breaking down and at certain points in production

[27:19] there was only one working like facial oh god musculature or whatever so that there are scenes

[27:27] where only one character in a wide shot is expressing because they had to swap them out

[27:31] one at a time i mean if only they had gone the jaws route this the shark's not working let's

[27:35] just imply the existence of the jaw of the shark like the only they had maybe used camera trickery

[27:41] to make us think there were garbage bale kids in a scene rather than showing their faces fully lit

[27:45] right in front of us with voices coming out they're like oh jeez like urine running down their

[27:51] legs so and a lot of the scenes with the garbage bale kids they're like running around their faces

[27:56] aren't moving there's like constant chat now are these here's my other question the ooze comes out

[28:01] of the garbage can are these their natural forms or are they that goo and they have taken on the

[28:07] forms of the things they think are earthlings like in those trans the transformers movies they're not

[28:12] really cars from outer space right they're like there's lots of cars around here we'll be like

[28:15] cars right i mean i can't say definitively i can't say if this is not their form they've

[28:20] taken this form long ago because anthony newly is like oh no you let out my garbage bill yeah

[28:24] he recognized them right away stewart pointed out is like so this guy's just been keeping these kids

[28:29] garbage can yeah in a prison in a garbage can and he basically like contends that like they

[28:36] are the modern representation of pandora's box i mean he gives the whole band i wish he had been

[28:41] like you ever heard of a thing called the hindenburg they were the cause like that would

[28:47] have been the best again once again garbage bale gets through history kissing assholes um so uh

[28:52] speaking manzini he returns and he tries to get them back into their garbage prison and they're

[28:57] like no and then he spends the rest of the movie trying to figure out a spell that will get them

[29:02] back in it yes uh then a child takes a bath in a tub in the middle of the middle of the store

[29:09] unsupervised young child takes a bath surrounded by garbage pail kids and an older man there was a

[29:16] for for the elliots in the audience there's a close-up of a child's feet is that is that what

[29:22] i'm into canonically i don't know i'm working on all you're trying to build a narrative

[29:27] i appreciate you spreading out the libelous lies i mean i feel like mine is this one is

[29:32] much worse than than the ones we usually throw in we just say you're a racist or something you know

[29:38] but the but it is it is a this is maybe the most bonkers moment in the movie where they're like

[29:44] yeah this kid's covered in ooze of course he would get into a bathtub in the middle of a

[29:48] retail establishment surrounded with it with an older gentleman and also these bizarre kind of

[29:53] like alien grotesqueries and they're and and he gets comfortable the child gets comfortable enough

[29:58] to fully submerge

[30:00] himself nude and stick his feet out and then later they're like yeah he's they're offering

[30:05] a towel and the one and they're the garbage girl is attracted to him she's like oh when he's about

[30:10] to get out of the tub it's super gross yeah i mean there's a line or no sorry it may seem like

[30:16] we're uh focusing on doing this but this movie is bizarre the degree to which i think it sexualizes

[30:22] these teens like for like what is like i mean like you should never do that but also like

[30:27] a children's film like it's a very strange it's what if there was vibe there were certain things

[30:32] in 80s children's films that filmmakers thought children were super interested in one corporate

[30:37] takeovers and two like sex and this garbage girl kid's movie like 14 15 16 year olds not really

[30:46] going to this movie it's probably like seven eight year olds yeah for them to be like yeah

[30:49] yeah that garbage girl kid wants to fuck that kid like that's not it's not okay here then this movie

[30:54] is all about very different types of teenagers like it's not about kids the age of quote-unquote

[31:00] the garbage pale kids whatever the garbage tall kids are supposed to be i mean they're ageless

[31:04] yeah but that's true yeah um there there is a moment like a fine wine because the girl is

[31:11] dan dewarson wells doing an ad for garbage fail kids oh the garbage failed kids

[31:17] i've always been reviled for the grotesquerie we'll pale no kids before their time there is

[31:25] an atom bomb who pushes a button on a remote and his head explodes you tell me how to put the

[31:32] emphasis on gar in garbage fail kids and anyway uh there's there's a moment later i think it's

[31:39] around the bath scene where because the original kids are constantly um talking yeah talk they're

[31:45] constantly talking a lot of chatter shut up um they keep uh talking about how ugly they are in

[31:51] this way where it's like the other characters are like no you're not like trying to make them feel

[31:57] better yeah and and valerie vomit says something about being repulsive and um dodger says like i

[32:04] don't think you're that ugly and she just immediately goes oh so you want to suck face

[32:08] oh which is uh horrible i think i think roughly around the same time manzini who is again the

[32:15] father figure is like well being ugly is not a state of appearance but rather a state of being

[32:21] and then wendy winston immediately farts it's it is a it is a hard lesson for this movie to sell

[32:27] that it is rather the handsome juice who is ugly for his actions oh you think he's handsome is it

[32:33] because he wears like a sport coat with nothing underneath he wears a sport coat with a gloves

[32:36] with a sleeveless shirt and he's got fingerless gloves yeah ascot kind of thing yeah and he beats

[32:41] up little kids for money the idea that like it's not your appearance that counts when these

[32:45] gargoyle kids are hideous and they're constantly peeing on themselves and partying everywhere like

[32:51] that the character is like pulling their boogers out in a long strand and it's like please don't

[32:55] judge by their behead by their head this is the thing this man has an alligator's head for a head

[33:02] who amongst us has not it doesn't

[33:06] if the thing is don't judge someone by the looks by their behavior their behavior is ugly they're

[33:11] horrible people yeah they're all assholes they have horrible souls it is what i find fascinating

[33:17] about this movie is you rarely watch a film where every line of dialogue directly negates the

[33:22] previous line of dialogue like it cannot maintain a consistent point for more than 10 words in a row

[33:28] yeah because like i i have a theory and i can't remember if i've ever heard this supported by

[33:35] anything okay but that anthony newly wrote all of his dialogue for this film because his language is

[33:41] very different than the way everyone else talks yes and it's like he was on set this is also his

[33:46] last film his last theatrical film and it feels like on top yeah yeah yeah he had said everything

[33:52] he needed to say yeah it feels like he was on set every day going like this film needs to have a

[33:57] message like he's trying to imbue it with this sense of like don't judge people on the exteriors

[34:03] and then the fucking actors playing the garbage hole kids were not listening to what he was saying

[34:07] and we're just fucking acting a fool i mean if you if you're stuck with like an animatronic head

[34:14] that doesn't work it's i'm sure hot and uncomfortable yeah and you're like bumping

[34:19] into each other and you can't see anything like yeah you're not gonna listen to some weird old

[34:23] guy but this weird old guy the way the actors inside those heads should be listening to anthony

[34:30] yeah probably yeah so manzini gives them one rule if they're going to be outside of the can they

[34:35] need to stay away from normies yeah that's normal people for fear that they're going to get i don't

[34:40] know arrested which is grounded i guess in the rest of the movie so they and then the garbage

[34:46] bale kids agree to help dodger romance uh romance uh tangerine yeah i don't know if we set this up

[34:52] properly but but tangerine runs she's trying to make it in fashion yes she sells her own clothes

[34:59] out of the trunk of her car in back alleys after shows like she'll go to like a club or a closet

[35:05] right she'll sell her car her clothes every nighttime sequence in this movie has the vibe

[35:10] of an able ferrara movie and she's in these like really grimy back alleys selling all which we're

[35:16] all as if imdb is to be believed we're all on a set yeah these were not real streets no so they

[35:21] somehow went out of their way to make them really dark and grimy and depressing and sad yeah like

[35:26] it's a basket case or something and the shots all go so long that like a character will just wander

[35:31] out of the light into the darkness but dodger is like in love with tangerine and tangerine not only

[35:38] it's my memory of this as a child was like oh this is one of these classic like ducky and uh

[35:45] andy kind of dynamics where he's in love with andy from toy story yeah is her name andy and

[35:50] pretty i don't remember andy i i think so am i right about this um thank you thank you but you

[35:55] meant andy and a rubber duck ducky from toy story right yeah that's what i meant andy the boy and

[36:01] his rubber duck um if ernie can be in love with a rubber duck why can't andy from toy story you know

[36:06] i remember this movie being a dynamic where it's like oh she's kind of infantilizing to him and

[36:10] their close friends but she doesn't like him and he's trying to make her see him that way and the

[36:16] main thrust of this movie is him trying to use the garbage bell kids to make clothes that she

[36:22] can sell so that she likes him yeah but in fact she is so mean to him she's using him for a moment

[36:29] she is the meanest woman in the history of cinema i get it it's that's a red flag that i'll go after

[36:36] i mean i watched this movie oh you're mean to me lovely re-watching this was a real like chicken

[36:43] and the egg thing where i was like did this form the way i think of romantic relationships

[36:48] or did i like this as a child because it already spoke to who i knew i would be yeah that's how did

[36:53] garbage pale kids show me that all relationships are just a series of exploitation right so so

[36:59] love is inherently transactional okay yeah i get a delicate boy who looks years younger than he

[37:05] actually is until there's an action scene taller and he can really pull a bow tie with a t-shirt

[37:13] with a spangly sleeveless honestly the fashion in this movie is amazing well while they while

[37:19] they did break up mid-filming the two of them dated in real life really according in real life

[37:24] in real life he achieved his tangerine dream dan's right around the stage victory lap victory lap

[37:34] victory lap wow fair is fair wow sorry okay so speaking of our two lovebirds uh dan you know

[37:41] what i was wrong about you wait what do you even say don't worry about it still keep going uh yeah

[37:48] dodger and tangerine go for a ride they sell clothes buy into club then juice shows up and

[37:52] takes the money in the car and the babe leaving dodger zipped up in a bag uh the garbage bale

[38:00] kids while this is happening are looking for their friends that is what they're looking for

[38:04] their friends in of course garbage cans and they steal a like a food delivery truck and they draw

[38:11] they run over juice's car and flatten it then they eat a bunch of food and stuff in an alleyway

[38:16] and then they wake up super hungover i don't know if it's from yeah they say they keep saying they're

[38:20] hungover from i guess eating too many hot dogs although they are sitting on a case of miller

[38:25] highlights so maybe they're drinking that too again not shown on the screen miller hot dogs

[38:30] they do convince dodger to dress fancy to impress tangerine but all tangerine sees is dollar signs

[38:35] she sees that fancy outfit and she thinks hey it's time for you to make clothes for me so he

[38:41] agrees to make 12 outfits in a week which of course means the garbage bale kids are making

[38:46] those things this is what's funny to me like the the movie takes all the time it saves

[38:51] you know telling you what the garbage pail kids are what they want why they're here any of that

[38:56] stuff and it's like no we don't need that let's put it into this sort of fashion intrigue story

[39:01] it is where their sweatshop labor that fascinates me most about this film is that i know i've said

[39:07] this about five times it's a movie of many fascinations i would you would only visit a

[39:13] gem sure yeah yeah you would believe if someone told you oh a producer bought the rights to the

[39:19] garbage pail kids and had to make a movie in four months okay i'll buy i'll buy it yeah sure

[39:23] so he took a different script that he owned the rights to and mapped the garbage pail kids on top

[39:27] of them because the whole fashion tangerine difficult there's such a unique drama that

[39:33] feels like this weird kind of like flash dance adjacent it does feel like the garbage pail kids

[39:39] are extraneous to much of the plot yes yes it is almost incidental that the garbage pail kids

[39:45] happen to be good at sewing yeah our planet we're all seamstresses which is which we all learn

[39:54] about because all of a sudden we have a musical number where they sing the song we can do anything

[39:59] by

[40:00] with each other. It's a long song, yeah. They steal some sewing equipment from a

[40:04] nearby appropriately labeled non-union sweatshop. Says it right on the door, it's

[40:09] okay to steal from it, yeah. Ironic because wasn't this production shut down

[40:13] briefly for using non-union labor? Yes, that is true. Courage of their convictions

[40:18] right there. Now the Garbage Pail Kids start to feel exploited so they decide

[40:25] to sneak off in costume to the movies where they watch a public domain Three

[40:30] Stooges movie, I'm guessing? You've never seen an audience losing their shit

[40:35] laughing like they are to this old Three Stooges short that they're playing for

[40:39] some reason. I'll give them the credit and say maybe the studio owns the rights

[40:43] to this one. Oh, you think that might be why? It's not top-notch Three Stooges. I do want to say

[40:50] this about the clothing. If this was a true Garbage Pail Kids movie, they would

[40:53] say, we'll make those clothes for you and they'd sing the song and then they

[40:56] would deliver 12 outfits covered in vomit and Tangerine would be like, what is this?

[41:01] That's not what happens. The song is also so bizarre because... Don't play it.

[41:06] I'm not gonna play it. I'm not gonna play it. I'm not gonna play it, but I have, I needed to pull up the lyrics.

[41:11] Go to your Garbage Pail Kids playlist. Griffin's doing it playlist.

[41:18] Garbage Jams. Griffin Griffin. What I was saying earlier about like every line of

[41:28] dialogue in this movie negates the previous line, this song is like a really

[41:32] extreme distillation of it because it has like the melody of like an

[41:36] instructional kids song. Like a song that's about like sharing is caring or

[41:40] whatever. But the opening two lines of the song are, and I'll do my best

[41:49] impression of the way Greaser Gregg sings it. Why should we do something nice?

[41:55] Let's quit now, that's my advice. And then the next line is, we can do anything by

[42:00] working with each other. The song can't decide. Beautifully done, yeah. Professional

[42:08] voice actor. It cannot commit to whether the Garbage Pail Kids are assholes or

[42:13] they're learning to be friendly. And it goes back and forth every other line.

[42:17] They're like talking about like, fuck this kid, he really sucks. He can go and

[42:22] suck on ducks. We can. And then they're like breaking into sweatshops and doing

[42:27] shit. It's never clear why they're helping him. No. No. Well the one, the one, the one Garbage Pail Kid has a

[42:34] crush on him. Valerie Vomit who wants to suck face. Valerie Vomit has a crush on him.

[42:38] And so she is trying to help him. This is good writing. The

[42:43] relationship between Dodger and Tangerine is mirrored in the relationship

[42:47] between Dodger and Valerie Vomit. This is what Shakespeare would do. He is being so

[42:53] upfront with them where he's like, you guys, I don't fucking like you and I

[42:58] don't like dealing with you but I need you to do some unpaid labor for me to

[43:02] impress a woman who is basically the modern-day Nurse Ratched. Yeah, who is

[43:08] mean to me all the time. Who is teenage Cruella de Vil. Whose boyfriend stuck me in the

[43:13] sewer. Yes. And then also like seemingly like got hard at watching me nearly

[43:19] suffocate. Yeah. Like get some sort of like juice from it. But they, he's transparent.

[43:27] Like the reason I'm asking you to do this is to help me win over Tangerine who

[43:32] they don't seem to like. They don't seem to like him. But Garbage Pail Kids are

[43:36] nothing if not romantics at heart. This is true. Although there is a moment where they warn him, they're like be

[43:41] careful what you wish for because you might get it. I'm like, wow, the wisdom

[43:45] from the mouth of Garbage Pail Kids. You might just get it. While many of the kids are

[43:52] enjoying the antics of the Three Stooges, Wendy Winston and Alligator get on one

[43:58] of their, what, their like mopeds or whatever. Yeah. Their power wheels and they drive

[44:03] off. But they break down in front of the titled toughest bar in the world. That's

[44:08] what the sign says. Toughest bar in the world. Wendy Winston. Yeah, it's one of my

[44:13] bars. I thought I'm like, that's actually a really good name. And you mentioned

[44:18] earlier that when they go out on this expedition, they're in disguise. Let's be

[44:22] clear. Their disguises are tiny trench coats and sunglasses and fedoras. Yeah.

[44:26] Very classic disguise, you know. So, of course, what happens is they start a big

[44:32] bar fight. Wendy Winston. Not a bar fight, just a bar fight. Wendy Winston bursts in and he

[44:38] farts a bunch on a bunch of people, which earns the respect of the bikers. Stuart, you're

[44:43] showing off physically the fart. Yeah, so he goes. So he does. For the listener at home.

[44:50] Do the hand motion. There's sort of a waggle of the butt involved in the farting. He puts his hands

[44:55] out as if he's doing like a surfing dance. Yeah. Surfing bird. Also, meanwhile, he's atop the

[45:00] bar doing that below the bar. Alligators munching on biker toes. Yes. Which also seems to earn

[45:07] their respect. I do like that the bikers here all have tattoos that feel that look very drawn

[45:14] on Sharpie. Yes. And also one of the farts blows a guy's mustache clean off his face.

[45:20] That's comedy. That's how comedy works. That's funny jokes. Yes. Every movie has one funny joke.

[45:28] Like the Garbage Pail Kids end up back at Mancini's. Then there's like, we get the

[45:34] Garbage Pail Kids theme song, which is a little bit rowdier. And there's like a short hijinks

[45:38] montage. You can be a Garbage Pail Kid. Yeah, it's pretty cool. If you're really fucking gross and you do a lot of bad

[45:45] stuff, you can be. I don't remember the actual. Now, the montage mainly features the Garbage Pail

[45:49] Kids in the sewer redirecting toxic waste into, I don't know, toilets. Toilet juices using which

[45:56] they know the exact pipe. Right. Yeah. Seems strange. And he's as all because it's a children's

[46:02] movie. He is wearing his pants as he sits on the toilet. So he's lifted up in the air and he's like,

[46:05] whoa. Yeah. Elliot neatly takes off his pants and folds them every time he goes to the bathroom.

[46:11] If I'm in a public bathroom, I take off my pants. I hang them over the side of the stall

[46:17] in the hopes that whoever's on the other side will press them and then return them to me.

[46:22] Every now and then they get stolen and I end up in a sort of Mr. Bean style scenario

[46:26] where I have to get home without pants on. It's hilarious. It's my kink. No one gets hurt.

[46:33] It took a turn at the end. So speaking of good writing, we'd heard the idea that the Garbage

[46:41] Pail Kids are looking for their friends. Right. And there's a belief that these friends are being

[46:46] kept at the state home for the ugly. Yeah. So Manzini and Dodger decide to just wander the

[46:53] streets in daylight until they happen upon a pair of like dog catcher-esque fellows who are carrying

[47:00] a giant net and throwing it over any children wearing masks, thinking they might be ugly.

[47:05] Yeah. You can't wear a mask outside. It's not Halloween yet. Exactly. Man, we don't even need

[47:11] to play Cliffs. We got Rich Little joining us tonight. The movie is kind of quietly establishing

[47:18] this quid pro quo, which is like Manzini's trying to figure out the spell that will get them back

[47:24] in the can, which seems to be a song. He's just at a piano playing different things, waiting for

[47:30] one of them to click. Yeah. And then Dodgers got them working, making clothes for Tangerine,

[47:35] which she loves. As you point out, not only are they not covered in vomit and puss and shit,

[47:40] but Tangerine thinks the clothes rule. Yeah. I'd say they do. They're like jazzy military.

[47:48] Like if you were on Kids Incorporated, you might wear something like this if you're like

[47:53] leading a song. I would say. And the Dodgers vaguely like offering to try to find their fallen

[47:58] brothers, the cans that landed in other places. Yeah. They have that POW, Garbage Pail Kids,

[48:04] MIA flag hanging in the window. Yeah. So they're sort of like, oh, we might have a lead. The home

[48:10] for the ugly might be where your friends end up. They're like, we can't let these garbage

[48:16] pail kids be imprisoned in the home for the ugly. We got to stuff them in a garbage can

[48:21] and put the lid on and never let them out. There is like at one point Manzini's like,

[48:26] it's the only place you're safe is in your garbage prison.

[48:30] Sounds like something an abuser might say to you. Yeah. So yeah. So they find the state home

[48:35] for the ugly. It's kind of the plot of Hotel Transylvania, right? Yes. Yeah. Yes. So I guess

[48:40] Garbage Pail Kids casts a long shadow. So they do find the state home for the ugly.

[48:46] It's a very like institutional place, but they can't get inside. But they assume the kids are

[48:50] there. The wayward Garbage Pail Kids. Can we talk about some of the well-labeled prisoners?

[48:55] Well, we haven't gotten quite to the inside. There's plenty of time for that.

[49:00] The idea that the movie will set is out of nowhere. They were like, oh, they're probably

[49:03] the state home for the ugly. They're like, that's not a real thing. The movie out of nowhere

[49:07] introduces that there are roving bands of ugly catchers who are kidnapping children.

[49:13] And this is just a service the government provides the city like it's a it's like my

[49:18] tax dollars shouldn't go. This is not what I'm supporting. Show me the receipts. I do

[49:23] need to support the school. So but it's it is just the movie is like, look, we haven't introduced

[49:29] a bonkers, dumb idea in minutes. Yeah. Let's do this, too. Speaking of bonkers ideas,

[49:38] Dodger introduces tangerine to the Garbage Pail Kids. It doesn't go particularly well,

[49:44] but she does decide to exploit them further and throw a fashion show at a local department store,

[49:48] which begs the question, what department store is like? Yeah, this teenage girl can

[49:53] can have a she's had a lot of success selling out of her trunk of her car near this club.

[50:00] publicity on the local news.

[50:01] Yeah, it's a very like saved by the bell type thing.

[50:05] Local teen who has no parents throws fashion show

[50:08] at local department stores.

[50:09] For the other post-nuclear mutants

[50:11] in this parentless world we all live in.

[50:13] I don't know why I'm explaining this to you on the news,

[50:15] you already know.

[50:16] You know it already, you're living in this reality.

[50:18] This movie makes so much more sense

[50:19] if it is happening after a nuclear war.

[50:23] However, Tangerine, while happy to exploit

[50:25] the Garbage Pail Kids, does not want them

[50:27] at the fashion show.

[50:28] So on the night of the show.

[50:30] Yep, I mean.

[50:31] Should I have the monster that eats toes

[50:33] at my fashion show?

[50:34] Probably not.

[50:35] So she locks them up using a lock

[50:38] and she keeps the key and it's weirdly,

[50:41] she's trying to be weirdly sensual, I'm not a fan of it.

[50:44] But her outfit is pretty cool.

[50:46] So she locks them in the basement.

[50:49] That's when Juice chloroforms Manzini, right?

[50:53] Right, yeah.

[50:53] He knocks him out and then he and his gang

[50:56] kidnap the Garbage Pail Kids and sell them

[50:59] to the State Home for the Ugly as like a bounty.

[51:02] Yeah.

[51:03] So they don't just catch ugly people

[51:05] in order to keep the streets safe,

[51:07] they also buy them?

[51:11] It says wanted, ugly or alive, yeah.

[51:14] So, Griffin, what is the State Home for the Ugly like?

[51:18] Here's what it is.

[51:19] It is vertically stacked cells.

[51:23] Yeah, it's like the end of Cabin in the Woods.

[51:26] Almost as if there's no fourth wall to the set.

[51:29] And cells can only be on one side.

[51:31] It's a series of jailed cells that are arranged

[51:35] like the Hollywood Squares set.

[51:39] Because what is Hollywood Squares?

[51:41] Not a jail for formerly much more famous people, yeah.

[51:44] And each cell has one ugly prisoner in there,

[51:49] someone too ugly to be seen in public

[51:52] with a clearly labeled sign.

[51:55] So there's one that says like,

[51:57] the sign is the explanation of what makes them ugly.

[52:00] Yes.

[52:01] Such as too tall,

[52:03] and the person inside that cell is Abraham Lincoln.

[52:06] Sure, yeah.

[52:07] Too bald.

[52:08] Resurrected in this post-nuclear.

[52:11] Too bald is, of course, Mahatma Gandhi.

[52:14] Yes, right.

[52:15] Too fat was Santa Claus.

[52:17] Santa Claus.

[52:18] Not a particularly fat Santa Claus at that, yeah.

[52:20] No, and the movie's not making clear

[52:22] if these are professional impersonators

[52:24] or the true people from time and mythology.

[52:28] A clown that was too silly.

[52:30] Bill is too silly, this clown.

[52:32] That seems like a weird thing for ugly,

[52:33] but they're making a bold statement

[52:35] about the police state and conformity, yeah.

[52:38] Rod Serling was watching this in his last days going,

[52:40] why didn't I do it this way?

[52:42] Oh.

[52:43] And you're at this point.

[52:44] Beatin' up my own game.

[52:46] Now you're probably wondering,

[52:47] what about, are there other Garbage Pail Kids there?

[52:49] Well, in a brief bit of dialogue later on,

[52:52] it's explained that they were just crushed

[52:53] in a garbage compactor at the time.

[52:55] They were too late to save them.

[52:57] They're already dead.

[52:58] Which also means that Gandhi is going to be crushed

[53:00] in a garbage compactor and Santa Claus.

[53:02] It's wild that the movie, at this point,

[53:04] there were hundreds of characters from the cards.

[53:08] I'm watching the film for the first time as a child

[53:10] and I'm like, okay, we're not gonna see

[53:11] other Garbage Pail Kids.

[53:12] And you have your whole book

[53:14] with all the fuckin' cards there, yeah.

[53:16] But it's like, budget, I'm guessing we're not gonna

[53:18] suddenly reveal 10 more kids at the end of the movie,

[53:21] but you don't wanna keep the door open for the sequel.

[53:23] Oh, perhaps there are other Kans out there.

[53:25] For this movie to go like, no, conclusively,

[53:27] they're all dead.

[53:28] They're all dead, come on.

[53:30] These are the sole survivors.

[53:31] We dealt with them.

[53:32] When we get to this scene of the movie,

[53:34] this is one of those moments where I'm like,

[53:35] if John Waters made this movie.

[53:38] Elliot?

[53:39] Same movie.

[53:40] I had the same thought.

[53:41] I had the same thought.

[53:43] And I would feel so differently about it, yeah.

[53:45] It'd be a masterpiece.

[53:46] Yeah.

[53:47] It would make the Sight and Sound list.

[53:49] Yeah, it would, yeah.

[53:50] It would go Tokyo Story, Vertigo,

[53:53] the Garbage Relicus movie,

[53:56] then Bicycle Thieves, I guess, yeah.

[53:58] So, back at the fashion show.

[54:01] And this fashion show is fairly professional, right?

[54:04] There's an announcer, there's an audience

[54:06] that seem very into the fashion.

[54:08] Surprising turnout for the local fashion show

[54:10] of a teen's fashion line, yeah.

[54:11] Tangerine has her like, sitting in front

[54:13] of the makeup mirror moment where she reveals

[54:16] her deception to Dodger.

[54:19] Juice shows up, he throws Dodger in the trash.

[54:24] That's another thing in this film,

[54:25] is that the more normal, conventional,

[54:28] by-the-book version of this narrative, right?

[54:31] Sure.

[54:32] Even if Tangerine didn't see him

[54:34] as like a sexual romantic figure,

[54:36] she would be kind to him.

[54:37] The child you're talking about, yeah.

[54:39] But she isn't.

[54:40] She's an asshole to him at all times.

[54:42] But you're also like, this type of movie is eventually,

[54:45] she goes like, what am I doing with this jerk?

[54:48] Juice is such a jerk.

[54:49] And instead, she's so into Juice, the whole movie.

[54:53] He will like, come an inch away from murdering someone

[54:56] and then turn around and she'll jump his bones.

[54:59] Make out with him so hard.

[55:00] Even beyond, you're exactly right.

[55:02] There will be a moment where she's like,

[55:04] what am I doing?

[55:04] Beyond the fact, her career is entirely reliant

[55:08] on his access to these designs.

[55:10] So she should at least be knowledgeable enough

[55:12] to know like, well, everything in my fashion show

[55:14] was designed by your weird monster friends.

[55:16] Maybe I shouldn't piss you off right before the show.

[55:19] And maybe I shouldn't sell your weird monster friends

[55:22] who made all this shit.

[55:23] Yes, that's also true.

[55:24] Okay.

[55:25] I feel like that's Juice and Tangerine

[55:26] where he had crossroads.

[55:27] Yeah, crossroads.

[55:28] It's a great game of thrones.

[55:29] I don't know, that one keeps peeing himself

[55:30] and it's really disturbing.

[55:31] Can we just get him out of here though?

[55:32] Yeah, I don't know.

[55:34] I'm not having him at the show at least.

[55:35] He's essential to the process.

[55:36] Okay.

[55:37] Another thing with that nerd, by the way,

[55:38] is all the other Garbage Pail Kids seem to kind of relish

[55:41] in doing their thing.

[55:43] Yeah.

[55:44] Like, Wendy Winston loves farting.

[55:46] That nerd is so mortally embarrassed every time he pees.

[55:50] It is so, like, it feels like you're briefly

[55:53] getting glimpses of like a Todd Sollens movie

[55:56] where he's like crying, going like,

[55:58] oh no, I can't pee again, oh no.

[56:04] And then they all sort of look at him and go like,

[56:05] you fucking idiot, why are you pissing yourself

[56:08] like a goddamn baby?

[56:09] Even Fowl Phil keeps it in his diaper.

[56:13] Yeah.

[56:15] Because he is a baby.

[56:16] Oh no, I'm peeing.

[56:22] Man, I want a smash cut to last night

[56:25] while Griffin practices all these in front of the mirror.

[56:28] They're so close.

[56:31] And there is a moment, I will give the movie credit.

[56:33] Tangerine is very evil and she's very nasty

[56:35] to the models at her fashion show

[56:37] in a way that I thought was very funny.

[56:39] She's essentially like a teenager who is going,

[56:41] who's like, a little bit too much makeup there, miss.

[56:44] She is, it's very funny.

[56:45] 86 the gum.

[56:46] 86 the gum.

[56:47] So, Dodger and Manzini team up.

[56:50] They need to save the garbage bale kids

[56:51] from the state home for the ugly.

[56:53] They enlist the bikers from the bar.

[56:55] They're buddies, yeah.

[56:56] Then we have our like, cabin in the woods,

[56:58] save the freaks moment where everybody's let loose.

[57:01] It's great.

[57:02] They rip the pants off the security guard.

[57:04] They breathe and fart on until he passes out.

[57:08] They all do their thing.

[57:10] Yeah, they use their powers and special moves.

[57:12] They do, again, after learning

[57:14] that all the other garbage bale kids were crushed to death,

[57:16] they celebrate and leave.

[57:18] It is great that when the bikers depart,

[57:20] you don't even get a single shot

[57:21] of them riding away on bikes.

[57:22] They're like, we can't afford this.

[57:23] It's all sound effects, right?

[57:24] Yep.

[57:25] Then, they're riding so high off their success,

[57:28] they decide to attack the fashion show.

[57:31] This is where the garbage bale kids sneak in

[57:33] and then rip the clothes off all the models,

[57:35] which I'm like, they're not to blame.

[57:37] In the 80s, in the 80s, women had their clothes ripped off

[57:41] and then they ran around.

[57:42] They ran around in circles.

[57:43] Understandably.

[57:44] Screeling.

[57:45] Ran around screaming.

[57:46] Not finding an exit or cover up.

[57:47] Yeah, but ran around screaming in terror.

[57:49] Confused, also.

[57:51] But it's like, there's so much in this movie

[57:53] where I'm like, yeah, that was the 80s, it was a bad time.

[57:56] Not everything that came out of the 80s

[57:58] was War Games or Breaker Morant.

[57:59] They were bad movies, yeah.

[58:00] What is this movie, if not trenchant Reagan-era satire?

[58:04] We were all running around in circles

[58:06] as if garbage bale kids had ripped off our clothes.

[58:09] We didn't know what to do.

[58:11] They truly were sleepwalking through history,

[58:12] you're right, yeah.

[58:13] Luckily, they were all wearing bikinis underneath.

[58:16] And the entire fashion show descends into chaos.

[58:20] And in the midst of that chaos,

[58:22] Dodger and Juice finally have a fight.

[58:24] And what's great about this is,

[58:26] not only is it really intense,

[58:28] but also, most of the shots,

[58:30] the actor who's playing Dodger is a grown man.

[58:35] They make very little attempt to hide this.

[58:37] It's amazing.

[58:39] Unlike the actor who is a 14-year-old boy.

[58:42] Okay.

[58:42] There's this sort of classic moment

[58:43] where somehow Dodger finally gets one up on Juice, right?

[58:49] Yes.

[58:49] There's like some crazy sort of like

[58:51] Golden Harvest backflips and crazy moves,

[58:53] but finally, he's just got him pinned to the ground.

[58:56] And he's just like wailing on his face.

[58:59] And they cut to a closeup of now not adult stunt double,

[59:01] but real Mackenzie Astin,

[59:04] like crying hysterically as he punches his bully.

[59:07] Covered in blood.

[59:09] But like hyperventilating.

[59:11] And then Captain Manzini has to come up and be like,

[59:14] do not sink to their level.

[59:16] Know your limits.

[59:17] It's an oddly like sad and realistic moment

[59:20] how destroyed he is,

[59:21] that he has like reverted to pure violence

[59:24] and beat the shit out of this other kid.

[59:26] Once again, unverified, unsubstantiated,

[59:28] but IMDb trivia claims

[59:32] that the actor who played Juice claimed

[59:35] that he tried to employ method acting

[59:38] during the production of this movie

[59:40] and genuinely bullied Mackenzie Astin

[59:43] to try to get a more realistic performance out of him.

[59:46] In the Garbage Bale Kids movie.

[59:49] And with distance,

[59:50] recognizes that perhaps he went too far.

[59:54] But the moment where Dodger starts punching Juice

[59:56] feels like you're seeing something very real and very.

[1:00:00] uncomfortable. Yes, yes. So they... It worked, is what you're saying.

[1:00:05] Dodger is dragged away. I guess this is resolved at this point. Shortly after,

[1:00:10] Tangerine approaches Dodger, and she's like, she tries to apologize. She says,

[1:00:14] maybe we can be friends and do fun things. Dodger, to his credit, says,

[1:00:20] no thanks. I don't think you're pretty anymore. Oh, yeah.

[1:00:26] It's fuckin' savage. And then a jaunty song about being a garbage pail kid

[1:00:33] plays yet again. Yeah, Mancini plays the song backwards, hoping it'll suck the

[1:00:37] garbage pail kid into their pail. Instead, they just run off. He gets sucked into

[1:00:41] the pail himself, and they ride off on their Hot Wheels, and they wave to the

[1:00:46] camera, and then we get the garbage pail's theme song credits. Yes. So there's

[1:00:50] the garbage pail kid's theme song with lyrics that they play in the middle of

[1:00:54] the movie, and they're sort of like causing trouble montage, and then plays

[1:00:57] again in full in the end credits. The one that was nominated for an Academy

[1:01:01] Award. Yeah. We all know it. And then there's the garbage pail kid's sort of

[1:01:08] score theme, like the character theme that will play throughout the movie that

[1:01:13] doesn't have lyrics and isn't the same as the theme song. And Mancini has the

[1:01:18] aha moment late in the film. It's like the fifth time you cut to him at the

[1:01:22] piano being like, seas are filled with whales, put them back in the pail. No,

[1:01:28] that's not it. He keeps trying to write a song that he thinks will put them back

[1:01:33] in, and then he starts playing the score from the movie as if he knows the music

[1:01:39] that's playing in his reality for the audience watching him. And his aha moment

[1:01:44] is, well, if that's their theme forwards, and I need them back in the can, then I

[1:01:50] play it backwards. And he brings them all around the can, and he's like, now

[1:01:55] unfortunately it's time. Explains the whole thing to them. You little assholes

[1:02:00] are going back in the can. And they're like, we don't want to. And he's like,

[1:02:04] come on now. And then he basically says, now stand here like good little garbage

[1:02:09] pail boys and girls while I play this instrumental theme backwards, and you go

[1:02:14] back in. And I'll close my eyes the whole time. Because I'm feeling the music so

[1:02:19] deeply. And that's when they sneak off. And they're like, oh, going back in the

[1:02:24] can now. Oh, see ya, buddy. They're really narrating it. There are all these

[1:02:29] moments where Manzini, and these are the stretches of dialogue that feel written

[1:02:33] by Newly trying to get the movie to the point, where the movie's trying to

[1:02:36] wrestle with, is the point that we as a society judge people based on their looks

[1:02:41] and that's a problem, and we're the real garbage pail kids? Are garbage pail kids

[1:02:47] these sort of like, these demons? Are they like the embodiments of our worst

[1:02:51] traits? Like they are us. It's not about us judging them on visuals. It's about

[1:02:56] like they speak to the inner evils of man, much like Tangerine's behavior does.

[1:03:01] Or is the point that the garbage pail kids are kind of cool, and Manzini is

[1:03:06] trying to just like Henry Doolittle them and make them a little more polite?

[1:03:10] But the main garbage pail kid theme song, similarly, the lyrics cannot decide

[1:03:15] what the message is. Here's how the chorus goes. If your teacher says you're

[1:03:22] bad and sends you to the principal, you can be a garbage pail kid. Uh-huh.

[1:03:26] Okay, so that's sort of saying like, checks out. Sort of the Jeff Foxworthy

[1:03:30] sort of premise is being set up. If you vomit so much that your last name is

[1:03:37] vomit, you might be a garbage pail kid. If your response to any situation is

[1:03:45] to fart on the person nearest to you, you may be a garbage pail kid.

[1:03:49] Yeah. If you go to a restaurant and the waitress says, what would you like to

[1:03:54] eat? And you say, human toes, you may be a garbage pail kid.

[1:03:59] I can't believe you're not strutting around the stage.

[1:04:04] Oh, shut up, you're right. If you're listening to this on the podcast, please

[1:04:08] imagine that I'm walking back and forth on the stage.

[1:04:12] So these lyrics are framing it in this sort of way of like, we're all garbage

[1:04:17] pail kids. If you're a kid who has been misunderstood by adults, right?

[1:04:22] If your parents say you're dressed like you should be in a carnival, you can be

[1:04:27] a garbage pail kid. Like it's that kind of, right. And then the next couple of

[1:04:32] lines are, it's international, radical, how anything unusual ends up like a

[1:04:38] garbage pail kid. Like now it's a we are the world sort of sentiment.

[1:04:43] It's so easy to label an outsider as a garbage pail kid. Yeah.

[1:04:47] You think you're all so brave and all so cute, but you don't understand.

[1:04:51] You try to persecute. Well, here's a pail and here's a lid.

[1:04:56] You can be a garbage pail kid. What the fuck is that?

[1:05:00] Now it's sort of an en vogue sort of message song.

[1:05:05] It's like at odds with itself in real time. Yeah.

[1:05:10] Well, those are the contradictions that fuel great art.

[1:05:14] It's been said there are two garbage pail kids inside of each one of us.

[1:05:19] One of mine is Nedner. Get the fuck out of here.

[1:05:24] I actually finished that summary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:05:30] Thank you. Good job, Stuart. Oh, that applause for doing the bare minimum.

[1:05:35] No, no, no, no. He's doing the fart dance.

[1:05:38] Please do. Don't hurt him with your farts.

[1:05:44] Alison Brie was the star of the Netflix series Glow.

[1:05:48] Being a gorgeous lady of wrestling isn't easy, especially when it's time to get in the ring.

[1:05:52] Wrestling is so interesting in that you can't do anything halfway.

[1:05:58] OK, so now it's time to run at that woman's body and dive over her head first.

[1:06:03] Like you can't do that halfway. You can't do that in slow motion.

[1:06:06] Alison Brie on Tights and Fights. Max Spun's Perfect Wrestling podcast available now.

[1:06:11] And if you don't listen, I'll see you in the ring.

[1:06:20] Hi, this is Biz and this is the final season of One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting.

[1:06:27] This is going to be a year of celebrating all that makes this podcast and this community magical.

[1:06:33] I'm so glad that I found your podcast.

[1:06:37] I just cannot thank you enough for just being the voice of reason as I'm trying to figure all of this out.

[1:06:45] Thank you. And cheers to your incredible show and the vision you have to provide this space for all of us.

[1:06:50] This is still a show about life after giving life.

[1:06:53] And yes, there will be swears. You can find us on MaximumFun.org.

[1:06:59] And as always, you are doing a great job.

[1:07:03] Hey there, it's Dan cutting into this live show with an ad break.

[1:07:09] Hey, the Flophouse is sponsored mostly by you, the listeners.

[1:07:14] But you know what? We do have a couple of ads. Here's one of them.

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[1:07:43] Time is one of the fundamental forces of the universe.

[1:07:48] I think they mean that you can sell your time doing things.

[1:07:52] I'm just being silly, Squarespace. I'm just joshing you.

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[1:08:55] So, if this interests you, go to squarespace.com for a free trial.

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[1:09:06] to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[1:09:10] And you know what? We also have a J-J-J-Jumbo Tron.

[1:09:15] This message is for Jeff the Canadian.

[1:09:18] If your name's Jeff and Canadian, is this for you? Possibly.

[1:09:22] It's for Jeff the Canadian from Flink Jeff.

[1:09:27] If you don't mind me saying so, I think you've had a hell of a year

[1:09:30] with highs and lows and maybe, most importantly, us turning 50.

[1:09:35] After all this time, I'm finally ready to admit that you're the stew to my Dan.

[1:09:40] And I guess that someday, we can try to figure out

[1:09:43] which Star Trek bridge crew we would want to be in.

[1:09:46] Happy belated, buddy. Love you.

[1:09:49] How sweet.

[1:09:51] And also, hey, why not a plug for us, the Flophouse, your friends?

[1:09:56] I've talked about this a lot, so I won't belabor it too much.

[1:10:00] But this Sunday, tomorrow, if you're listening on the day of release,

[1:10:04] Sunday, August 4th at 8 p.m. Eastern Time,

[1:10:08] we are premiering a Three Men and a Hallie.

[1:10:11] This is the beautifully shot and edited record of our live show

[1:10:15] where we talked about Three Men and a Baby in Los Angeles

[1:10:18] with our good friend Hallie Haglund.

[1:10:21] It's got a few small extras in there for people who saw the live show.

[1:10:26] There's a little behind-the-scenes extra stuff that even you didn't see.

[1:10:31] But, you know, it's one of our live shows. It's the full live show.

[1:10:34] You know, usually if you listen on the main feed,

[1:10:38] in addition to only getting, of course, the audio, not the visuals,

[1:10:41] you don't get our presentations here.

[1:10:44] You get our presentations, our hilarious PowerPoint presentations.

[1:10:48] You get the audience Q&A.

[1:10:49] And, of course, you get a lot of talk about Three Men and a Baby.

[1:10:54] And if you watch on Sunday, August 4th at 8 p.m.,

[1:10:58] myself and Elliot and Stuart will be in the live chat

[1:11:03] watching along with people and chatting it up.

[1:11:06] But you don't have to be there for the premiere.

[1:11:08] That's just the advantage of being there for the premiere.

[1:11:11] This is available to view for two weeks after.

[1:11:14] For all ticket holders, you can re-watch if you like.

[1:11:18] So if you're interested, you can get tickets at either

[1:11:22] stagepilot.com slash baby or flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[1:11:29] And now, back to the show.

[1:11:34] Quickly, quickly, we should say our final judgments on the Garbage Pail Kids movie.

[1:11:39] This is a good, bad movie. A bad, bad movie.

[1:11:43] A movie we kind of like. I am going to...

[1:11:47] Abstain?

[1:11:49] I mean, I do think, you know, it is an experience more than a film.

[1:11:54] Yeah, yeah. It's only the war.

[1:11:55] An unpleasant one, a baffling one, but one that invigorates.

[1:12:01] And so I'm going to say...

[1:12:02] It's the movie.

[1:12:03] It's like a cold plunge.

[1:12:04] Yeah, yeah. Hit with a birch stick at a rushing pace.

[1:12:07] You wouldn't want to do it all the time,

[1:12:09] but sometimes you just got to shock the system.

[1:12:11] So I'm going to say it's a good, bad movie.

[1:12:15] What do you say, Stuart?

[1:12:16] Yeah, I'm with you, Dan.

[1:12:17] This is...

[1:12:19] You know, I had had expectations.

[1:12:21] Elliot had already poisoned the well a little bit by saying it was worse than Nuki,

[1:12:25] and I'm like, I can't imagine that's possible.

[1:12:29] I think it's a fun, bad movie to watch with friends.

[1:12:32] I would say this is a good, bad movie.

[1:12:34] I think if you were watching it with friends, it could be a good, bad movie.

[1:12:38] More like your family, your two children.

[1:12:40] That's what I think.

[1:12:41] This is what I was going to say earlier on in the show.

[1:12:44] It is now looking at it from the point of view of a parent and being like,

[1:12:48] I watched this as a kid,

[1:12:51] and I can only imagine the damage it would do to my sensitive little babies to see this.

[1:12:57] So judged on its own merits as a film for children,

[1:13:00] it should be put into a capsule and buried beneath the earth and never let out.

[1:13:06] Crushed like a garbage bin.

[1:13:08] But if you're an adult, you're going to watch it with friends and have a drink.

[1:13:11] Sure, it's a good, bad movie, yeah.

[1:13:12] You think it should be put into a home for ugly movies.

[1:13:17] I think this is a great, good movie.

[1:13:24] I think it makes sense and works.

[1:13:29] Just the script writing is impeccable.

[1:13:31] The structure is impeccable, yeah.

[1:13:32] No, I think, look, there's a reason I've been pushing this movie on you guys for so long.

[1:13:35] Did this make you uncomfortable, Elliot?

[1:13:37] That's art, buddy.

[1:13:38] That's art.

[1:13:39] You're right.

[1:13:40] You're right.

[1:13:40] That's my fault for being a square.

[1:13:43] It holds up a mirror to your face, and that mirror has a Garbage Pail Kids logo above it,

[1:13:48] and your name butchered underneath it, Elliot Mess.

[1:13:52] No, I think I've been trying to get you guys to cover this movie for so long

[1:13:57] because I think this is like a one-of-one film.

[1:14:01] I think this is like a unique, bad film.

[1:14:04] I think there was no other movie like it in history.

[1:14:07] It feels like just magnets being held in the wrong direction, being forced together.

[1:14:15] Every scene is fighting with itself.

[1:14:16] Every line is fighting with the other lines.

[1:14:18] Every character is in a different movie.

[1:14:21] The Garbage Pail Kids aren't even on the same wavelength with each other.

[1:14:24] I mean, the moment they break into a song in the middle of the movie, I'm like,

[1:14:28] this happens in this?

[1:14:30] It's late to introduce this being a musical.

[1:14:33] I will say this.

[1:14:34] It is similar to maybe my favorite movie we've ever done on the Flophouse, Cats.

[1:14:39] Because that is another movie where you're watching it and you're like,

[1:14:42] making a movie is making a series of storytelling decisions,

[1:14:46] and they have made every single wrong decision every single time.

[1:14:49] Every time there's been a decision and there's been a door marked good and a door marked bad,

[1:14:53] they've been like, wouldn't it be more fun to go through the bad door?

[1:14:57] But whereas Cats comes out sublime, this is the opposite.

[1:15:00] Well, see, I agree with you.

[1:15:01] And Cats, I put into a similar bucket of like,

[1:15:04] it's that thing of if you get every single answer wrong on a test,

[1:15:07] they have to give you a hundred.

[1:15:09] Yeah, yeah. These are movies that shoot the moon.

[1:15:11] Yeah, legally. In a certain way, the only way you could be that wrong is to,

[1:15:15] kids listening at home, they don't have to give you a hundred.

[1:15:18] You can't be that wrong by accident.

[1:15:20] The only way to be that wrong, it defies statistics.

[1:15:23] So it's like that King of the Hill episode,

[1:15:25] where he needs to have his house not pass the inspection test,

[1:15:28] but he does it so perfectly that the inspector is like,

[1:15:32] whoever did this knows what they're doing.

[1:15:35] Every single rule was broken. Good job.

[1:15:37] Yeah, you can only be this wrong if you know what right is, right?

[1:15:42] This is Miss Griffin. This might be where you and I disagree.

[1:15:47] It's a movie that makes you like rethink filmic language because at first you might go,

[1:15:53] well, these pieces don't fit together, but you go,

[1:15:55] but they do because I'm watching it and the movie is continuing.

[1:15:58] It is not breaking down. Reality did not end.

[1:16:02] It does. It does. We are all still alive.

[1:16:04] We're talking about it. Our devices did not catch on fire, right?

[1:16:09] But like, and because of that, it's a very unique experience.

[1:16:12] I want to just sort of read this in summation to sort of say like,

[1:16:15] there were the two Garbage Pail Kids that live inside of us, right? Inside all of us.

[1:16:19] Yeah. And this feeds back into my theory that, you know,

[1:16:22] people like to talk about film from a tourist perspective,

[1:16:25] but of course it's like it's a collaborative medium, right?

[1:16:27] That's the beauty of the art. You have someone like Art Spiegelman on the way to winning a Pulitzer

[1:16:36] for Mouse who just goes, let me doodle off some Garbage Pail Kids

[1:16:40] and then it takes on a life of its own.

[1:16:42] By the way, I met Art Spiegelman once and I asked him

[1:16:44] if he had ever seen the Garbage Pail Kid movie.

[1:16:48] And he punched you in the face. My first and perhaps only question.

[1:16:53] And he said that he went to see it opening weekend with his wife,

[1:16:56] who's another renowned, like underground cartoonist.

[1:16:59] One of the greatest cartoon editors, too, of all time.

[1:17:01] Yes. Francoise Mouly.

[1:17:04] Yes. Ren Zap, right? Yeah. Am I wrong about this?

[1:17:07] What? Ren Zap? Who?

[1:17:09] The Comics Anthology? His wife, anyway. No, no.

[1:17:12] They went to go see it opening weekend and he framed it as,

[1:17:17] I felt like Robert Oppenheimer.

[1:17:22] I like the existence of the movie so much more imagining them going to see this movie.

[1:17:29] Right. Like, look, I know I had nothing to do with this movie directly,

[1:17:33] but like I created the formula. I created what is here.

[1:17:37] I like to imagine Art Spiegelman going back to the projection booth like,

[1:17:41] was this a prank? Did you know that I was going to be here?

[1:17:43] And did you know my relationship? Did I did this kind of?

[1:17:47] Now I imagine him, though I imagine him doing the scene from Oppenheimer,

[1:17:50] where he's giving a speech to the other people at TOPS about Garbage Pail Kids

[1:17:54] and he's just hearing the screams of audience members in the background.

[1:17:58] He's losing it as he gives this speech.

[1:18:00] And his telling the only other person in the theater opening weekend

[1:18:04] was an unhoused man who slept through the whole thing.

[1:18:09] But Anthony Newley, who was, I mean, look,

[1:18:13] we said poor man's Dudley Moore, but the guy has some old school showman charm.

[1:18:18] He has moments of touching grace. He almost sells what he's given.

[1:18:22] Well, even a poor man's Dudley Moore is a Dudley Moore. Right.

[1:18:25] And this is not a Dinty Moore. That would not accomplish things at all.

[1:18:29] In my opinion, his finest monologue in the film.

[1:18:31] If I can just read this. Oh, I forgot you had a thing to read.

[1:18:33] I would have said less. This is all wired up to something.

[1:18:36] We're on stage. No microphones. It's not a holiday.

[1:18:40] He says to Dodger. Patience is a bit of vine, dear Dodger, but it bears sweet fruit.

[1:18:47] That's from the Greek. Loses a little something in translation.

[1:18:51] Let's add a little sparkle to our merchandise.

[1:18:54] Funny people should call this junk, isn't it?

[1:18:57] When every piece is a diary of the human spirit.

[1:19:00] Take this, for instance, to my darling Mary from Herbert.

[1:19:04] This is more than a book. It's a testimony to love.

[1:19:07] And this did the child who slept with this grow up to shake the world.

[1:19:15] And over here, an early form of air conditioning, also a tool of romance.

[1:19:20] It could beckon or rebuff. He's holding a paper fan at this point.

[1:19:24] Yeah. Yes. I also got rebuffed.

[1:19:27] But like me, this is a relic from a simpler age when good and bad was black and white.

[1:19:33] And a man could settle all his differences with one of these.

[1:19:36] Holds up a fencing sword, hands it to Dodger.

[1:19:39] Then some damn fool invented gunpowder.

[1:19:45] Wait for it. And a bigger damn fool split the atom.

[1:19:51] That's when I decided to leave mankind to its folly and retire here into this world of memories.

[1:20:00] Now to this point about this film holding multiple realities at once,

[1:20:04] another line from this same quotes page attributed to girl number two is,

[1:20:09] you want to see a dog wanking off into a garbage pail?

[1:20:16] I'm so glad we got that preview of the Anthony Newley and Garbage Pail Kids monologues,

[1:20:23] your one person show.

[1:20:24] I'm doing Mr. Manzini off Broadway.

[1:20:26] You mentioned that maybe Anthony Newley wrote those lines.

[1:20:32] I think he was just pre-associating.

[1:20:35] He was so high.

[1:20:38] So it's very hot in here.

[1:20:39] We've gone long.

[1:20:41] We'll answer five questions from people who line up at that thing,

[1:20:45] and then we'll get out of here.

[1:20:48] Five.

[1:20:49] All right, I'm going to stand up for this part.

[1:20:51] I haven't seen for a while.

[1:20:52] That was the most anyone has ever talked about the Garbage Pail Kids.

[1:20:56] Yeah, yeah, all right.

[1:20:58] I can't believe you waited that long to tell us that Art Spiegelman story.

[1:21:00] That's amazing.

[1:21:02] Hello.

[1:21:04] Hello.

[1:21:06] Alex, last name Withheld from Boston, State Withheld.

[1:21:11] Good, smart, smart, yeah.

[1:21:12] All right, so if John Waters made this movie,

[1:21:16] what part do you think he would cast Divine in?

[1:21:21] Oh, you've got to believe, you've got to believe Divine's going to be either that big baby

[1:21:25] or Valerie Vaughn, right?

[1:21:28] Or Tangerine.

[1:21:29] Oh, yeah, you're right.

[1:21:30] Or, I mean, or the version where he, uh, Blythe.

[1:21:33] She could be Mancini, too.

[1:21:35] Yeah, that's true.

[1:21:36] You know what?

[1:21:36] I feel like Divine's playing every part except the kid.

[1:21:42] That's the perfect version of this film.

[1:21:43] Yeah, and the kid is like a young Eddie Furlong, something, yeah, yeah.

[1:21:46] Thank you.

[1:21:47] Oh, if only, yeah.

[1:21:48] Good question, good question.

[1:21:50] I hope John Waters is listening so he can make it.

[1:21:53] Hi there, Ian, last name Withheld.

[1:21:55] Hello.

[1:21:56] My question, not garbage-pill related, but just a little bit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[1:22:01] No, please, please take it, take us out of that world.

[1:22:06] It's a simple fuck, marry, kill, and I'm really interested to hear your responses.

[1:22:09] Okay, yeah, simple.

[1:22:10] All right, let us over here.

[1:22:12] Under my hat.

[1:22:12] Sure, sure, sure.

[1:22:13] Your options are as thus.

[1:22:15] Idris Elba as the Djinn from 3,000 Years of Longin'.

[1:22:18] Okay.

[1:22:19] Idris Elba as Macavity from Cats.

[1:22:22] Or, last but not least, Idris Elba as Knuckles from Sonic the Hedgehog 2.

[1:22:28] Okay.

[1:22:28] I know which one Dan's gonna fuck.

[1:22:30] No, my, my cartoon notwithstanding, my presentation before the show,

[1:22:40] you gotta kill Knuckles, you fuck Macavity.

[1:22:45] Because, you know, he's committed every human crime.

[1:22:49] So he knows a few things.

[1:22:50] And then you gotta marry that genie.

[1:22:53] That genie is a great catch.

[1:22:54] Okay, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna, you marry Knuckles.

[1:22:56] He's hilarious.

[1:22:58] You gotta fuck the genie, of course, because he, I'm with magic and stuff.

[1:23:04] You can't have sex with Macavity.

[1:23:05] He has no genitals, Dan.

[1:23:07] We've seen it.

[1:23:09] Sex is not just penetration, Elliot.

[1:23:11] There are things that can be done.

[1:23:13] Dan has a series of diagrams he can show you.

[1:23:15] Anyway, I will kill Macavity for committing every human crime.

[1:23:20] Yes, yeah.

[1:23:21] I think that's, that's, that's obvious.

[1:23:23] You kill Macavity.

[1:23:25] You marry the gen.

[1:23:26] Because, I mean, he's just reliable.

[1:23:27] He's there forever.

[1:23:28] Yeah.

[1:23:29] And, uh, yeah, does that, you don't have to have sex with Knuckles?

[1:23:33] Okay.

[1:23:36] Thank you for asking that.

[1:23:39] Griffin didn't even get to answer.

[1:23:41] No, I mean, I have a very different answer than, than you three.

[1:23:44] I would say I fuck Alligator because he's nasty.

[1:23:50] I marry Valerie Vomit because she's nurturing.

[1:23:53] Yeah, she's, she's nurturing and dependable.

[1:23:54] Yeah.

[1:23:55] And I kill Natnerd because he's pathetic and doesn't deserve life.

[1:23:59] Oh, so sad now.

[1:24:02] Sad.

[1:24:02] I hate him.

[1:24:04] Our next question asker was appalled by that answer.

[1:24:07] Yeah.

[1:24:07] Apologies.

[1:24:08] It's a gross man.

[1:24:10] Uh, Catherine, last name withheld, also not Garbage Pail Kids related.

[1:24:16] Yay.

[1:24:17] Okay.

[1:24:17] So several years ago, I watched Gangs of New York and Leonardo DiCaprio opened his mouth

[1:24:22] and spoke in a Irish accent.

[1:24:24] And I went, ew.

[1:24:25] And then several years later, I watched, uh, Departed and thought, oh, great.

[1:24:32] Somebody told him not to do that again.

[1:24:34] So what is the most memorable moment you have of watching a movie you're

[1:24:38] enjoying and then someone speaks in an accent and you go, ew.

[1:24:45] I, I mean, I would say now I appreciate gross, horrible accent work.

[1:24:50] Uh, but I mean, I don't know, like recent ones, like the first couple of times when,

[1:24:55] uh, Benedict Cumberbatch showed up as Dr. Strange with his New York accent.

[1:24:59] I'm like, what the fuck is happening here?

[1:25:02] Stuart, what are you talking about?

[1:25:04] He sounds like a normal American man.

[1:25:07] Well, here in the city that never sleeps.

[1:25:10] Just your average New York magic doctor.

[1:25:15] But you have to admit that the movie never would have worked if he had his normal voice,

[1:25:18] right?

[1:25:18] Like you never would have bought him as a wizard if he had an English accent.

[1:25:21] That would be crazy.

[1:25:24] I think similarly, there's a, uh, there's, uh, there's a voice that I'm gonna, I love

[1:25:29] Tom Hardy.

[1:25:29] I love his accents.

[1:25:30] The voice he does as Venom.

[1:25:32] I feel like I call English guy doing a lower class New York accent was like,

[1:25:40] and it always sounds like Marlon Brando doing a bad English accent.

[1:25:44] That rubs me the wrong way.

[1:25:45] I feel like if he heard you say that, he'd be like, that's what I was going for.

[1:25:49] He got it.

[1:25:50] The same way I assume he heard me talking about his Bane voice and how it sounds like

[1:25:53] Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof.

[1:25:55] And he was like, exactly.

[1:25:56] That's what I was going for.

[1:25:59] A Batman on the roof.

[1:26:01] Well, you know, I've been racking my brain.

[1:26:05] I can't, I am so forgiving of this shit.

[1:26:07] I know that there's some stuff, but like most of the times that people are like, what's

[1:26:11] that?

[1:26:11] I'm like, yeah, it's fun.

[1:26:12] They tried.

[1:26:13] I have like, like a parents at a, at a kid's, uh, recital attitude towards them.

[1:26:18] Yeah.

[1:26:18] You know, they're doing the work, whatever.

[1:26:21] Griffin, you're an actor.

[1:26:22] Well, what do you think about this?

[1:26:24] You know, I mean, you, you brought up Benedict Cumberbatch, but, uh, and I,

[1:26:28] Benedict Cumberbatch, beautiful speaking voice, right?

[1:26:30] Like one of the greatest speaking voices in the world we have.

[1:26:34] And they announced he was going to play the Grinch in the animated Grinch.

[1:26:37] And I was like, what a slam dunk.

[1:26:39] Like he's sort of like a modern Boris Karloff.

[1:26:42] He has that buttery eloquent.

[1:26:44] Yeah.

[1:26:44] He was, he was smug.

[1:26:45] And then I saw the trailer and he's like, I hate Christmas.

[1:26:51] And there was something about, I think I would have reacted negatively to the Grinch.

[1:26:55] You're like, that's our voice.

[1:26:57] Yes.

[1:26:58] That's saved for movie podcasters, not the Grinch.

[1:27:03] It does bother me when you bring in a famous actor to do a voice and they're doing like,

[1:27:08] like Chris Pine as a, uh, sorry, Chris Pratt as a Mario.

[1:27:12] Yeah.

[1:27:12] Where it's like, there's so many.

[1:27:13] Not Italian enough.

[1:27:15] Well, not, not even not Italian enough.

[1:27:16] There's that's, why would you bother bringing him in to do a voice that's not really in his

[1:27:20] wheelhouse when that's, there's a billion other people who do that voice.

[1:27:23] But Cumberbatch is, the Grinch is the opposite where it's like, this is right in your wheelhouse.

[1:27:28] I have an idea actually.

[1:27:30] It's like Nicholas Cage and Peggy Sue got married, right?

[1:27:33] Where everyone was like, do not use that voice.

[1:27:36] Give us a take without that voice.

[1:27:37] He's like, nope.

[1:27:43] All right.

[1:27:44] Good question.

[1:27:48] Uh, Sam, last name withheld.

[1:27:49] Uh, so the Holdovers was a really great movie.

[1:27:52] Uh, it is.

[1:27:53] I worked on it.

[1:27:54] Um, Paul Giamatti's performance is sort of Paul Giamatti.

[1:28:00] It is Paul Giamatti-ist.

[1:28:02] Are there any beloved movies you guys have where, you know, one of the actors sort of

[1:28:06] gives their kind of platonic ideal performance that sort of is the default?

[1:28:12] I mean, for me, my favorite movie of all time.

[1:28:15] Everyone knows I'm on record.

[1:28:16] The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.

[1:28:18] Walter Matthau is so Walter Matthau in that.

[1:28:20] And it's one, every moment of it is wonderful, except the one moment we all know that's not

[1:28:24] so wonderful.

[1:28:24] But just that he's like, he just seems to be the two sides of Walter Matthau, which is,

[1:28:31] I don't give a shit about whatever I'm doing at this moment.

[1:28:33] And also, I'm so mad and I'm so stressed out at what's happening.

[1:28:37] And that's, yeah, just he doesn't get more Walter Matthau.

[1:28:39] Yeah.

[1:28:40] Uh, three quarters of us were at the BAM screening of Clifford last night.

[1:28:45] Let me, let me get away from the fact I did not join you at this Clifford screening.

[1:28:50] It was your, it was your mistake.

[1:28:52] We were talking about scheduling something else.

[1:28:54] And Dan's like, well, of course there is the Clifford screening.

[1:28:57] And I'm like, what are you talking about nationwide?

[1:29:00] Everyone was there.

[1:29:03] It crashed the BAM website.

[1:29:05] Yeah.

[1:29:05] I forgot when Joe Biden at the State of the Union said, and I'll see you America at the

[1:29:09] Clifford screening at BAM.

[1:29:11] But one of the great pleasures of it is seeing Charles Grodin, just like really Charles Grodin

[1:29:16] it up and that, uh, just being like a slow burn of like utter rage covered with like

[1:29:24] this false cheer that he has to maintain.

[1:29:28] It's just a beautiful thing to watch.

[1:29:31] Like pure Grodin.

[1:29:34] Oh man.

[1:29:34] I can't really think anything.

[1:29:36] Griffin.

[1:29:37] I was weirdly going to say Grodin and Midnight Run.

[1:29:40] Wow.

[1:29:41] He was a guy who really knew how to do his thing really well.

[1:29:45] Yeah, that's it.

[1:29:50] Stewart tells it how it is.

[1:29:54] Hi, this is Liz.

[1:29:55] Last name withheld and semi-related to this.

[1:30:00] I don't I don't know about calling it a movie. Um, but somebody related to this experience

[1:30:04] we're sort of in this renaissance right now of

[1:30:07] Not necessarily just animated but like more cartoon stuff being adapted to live-action

[1:30:13] But we haven't really seen the reverse your animatrix is so to speak

[1:30:17] Is there any like live-action piece of media that you think would be a good fit for?

[1:30:22] the reverse

[1:30:24] Setting so to speak

[1:30:27] Masters of the universe

[1:30:30] I mean

[1:30:31] It's already happened

[1:30:33] But like, you know

[1:30:34] I think that the Incredibles proves that like maybe the best version of a Fantastic Four movie would just to do it in animated

[1:30:40] Movie, but uh, like there's so many things that you know in the last Sonic episode. I was like

[1:30:47] There's like three CGI characters on screen right now interacting with a big CGI robot

[1:30:53] Why is this quote-unquote live-action just make it a cartoon and they could get pregnant right Dan?

[1:30:58] I mean that started I mean started

[1:31:01] It's not exact make it a cartoon so I can get nice and

[1:31:08] I like to reuse an answer. I've said a lot on my own podcast, but like I desperately want there to be a like

[1:31:18] 80s the the whole sort of like Rambo Robocop are all on Saturday morning TV and you have these pitified

[1:31:24] Versions where no one dies. I so badly want the John wick

[1:31:29] animated series

[1:31:30] Where it's him and like a squad of talking dogs

[1:31:35] And no bullets are ever fired. I mean, I mean like the your beloved Fast and Furious franchise

[1:31:42] It would be a perfect animated series

[1:31:44] They've done a series for a couple seasons on Netflix that I would say is the Griffin Griffin of the Fast and Furious universe

[1:31:51] And how much it sucks

[1:31:53] It's not that like it which is what it should be

[1:31:56] It's it's Dominic Toretto's nephew and some random kids who like tech a lot

[1:32:02] No, I

[1:32:05] I mean, this is kind of a step removed in something else, but they did the Sandman TV show

[1:32:10] I wish that been an animated show. I think would've been beautiful

[1:32:13] I think they would've done some amazing stuff with it and it's not not beautiful as it is

[1:32:16] They did a very good job of it

[1:32:18] But watching that I was like only this was like if they had done this in a you know as an a mature animated show

[1:32:25] Well, like family

[1:32:28] Like heavy metal like heavy metal

[1:32:30] Like heavy metal. I mean heavy metal heavy metal wasn't bad. Yeah

[1:32:35] But I mean like I mean particularly this fire shots fire. Bam. Bam. I think there's some good stuff in there

[1:32:40] at this like post spider-verse time to where like we're getting away from like all all cartoons that are the after-release look kind of

[1:32:48] Disney Don Bluth, they don't have to look photo realistic

[1:32:50] Yeah, Romeo and Juliet style like they like that. They could do photo realistic. No, me. Oh and Julie those gnomes

[1:32:58] That is your example for the photo realism. Yeah, I have seen that movie

[1:33:05] Describe it

[1:33:07] In a world of magic and whimsy like I wasn't watching that movie going where did they shoot this?

[1:33:13] What lenses did they use

[1:33:17] No, so you said Elliot just talking that most of it just slides over me Griffin

[1:33:21] I'm like, I'm not gonna challenge it cuz yes

[1:33:23] I don't know the answer as an American paid full ticket price to see no Mew and Julie at opening weekend

[1:33:29] I must take a stand against

[1:33:33] That example, but uh, is that part of the Sherlock Gnomes universe or is that that's the sequel? Oh, yeah. Yeah

[1:33:39] Yeah

[1:33:41] But uh, but anyway, yeah, I would but I would love to see a salmon anything. Yeah

[1:33:45] Thank you so much. And also

[1:33:49] thanks to all of you for

[1:33:51] Bearing with far more talk about the garbage pill kids movie than any rational human being should ever have to know

[1:33:59] Thank you. Thank you again. Thank you to the bell house for the floppers. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington

[1:34:04] I'm Elliot Kalin, and this is gripping Griffin Newman

[1:34:08] Thank you so much

[1:34:38] Maximum fun a worker owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you

Ep.#430 - The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, LIVE, with Griffin Newman!

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