FH Mini 112 - Months I Like on Film

[0:00] Hey, everybody. Welcome to another Flophouse miniature episode.

Elliott Kalan

[0:08] Flophouse minis, as we call them.

[0:10] This is an off-week episode for the Flophouse.

[0:12] You know, usually we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[0:15] But otherwise, I shouldn't say usually, it's half and half.

[0:18] The other half of the time, we just do whatever we want, whenever we want.

[0:22] Nobody gets to tell us what to do because we are our own bosses and we are independent, just lovely ladies.

[0:28] Cereal for dinner, baby.

[0:31] So my name is Elliot Kalin.

[0:32] I'm joined today by my regular hosts, friends, and lovers.

Dan McCoy

[0:37] Kind of.

[0:38] I mean, it's a platonic love, but sure.

[0:42] Dan McCoy is my name.

[0:43] Right now I find out.

Elliott Kalan

[0:45] And I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:48] And thank you so much for joining me again, guys.

[0:50] Thank you, audience, for joining me.

[0:51] I'm going to admit right off the bat that my life has been super busy lately.

[0:56] My life?

[0:58] You're right.

[0:59] Sorry.

[0:59] I should have said it.

[1:00] I should have said it.

[1:02] You did it.

[1:03] Well, that's the best joke of the episode.

[1:05] Goodbye, everybody.

[1:06] My life has been super busy, so I haven't been able to put as much work into this mini as I have for previous minis like The Chop House, my relatively recent top ten meats in the movies episode.

[1:16] So I am going to introduce a new concept in this episode with its own title, but then we'll go from there.

[1:22] It struck me, guys, that there are a lot of movies built around times of the year, events, but rarely, sometimes, but rarely do you see movies that really capture the feeling of a specific month.

[1:37] And I thought maybe we could try our hand at figuring out what movies work best for what kinds of months in an episode I'm entitling MILF, Months I Like on Film.

[1:46] So, guys, let's talk about MILFs on this one.

[1:50] Months I Like on Film.

Dan McCoy

[1:51] Yes, Dan?

[1:52] Are we restricted from using movies that are tied to holidays because of this?

Elliott Kalan

[2:02] I don't think so.

[2:03] The rules are as loose as possible, but I think let's try to expand our thinking when we can.

[2:09] So it's not just – because you could say like, oh, February, Valentine's Day, that's a movie already.

Stuart Wellington

[2:14] Actually, I got a really easy one here, guys.

[2:16] This is so obvious.

[2:17] May, December.

[2:18] It's obviously May.

[2:20] Or wait, or is it December?

Dan McCoy

[2:21] Oh, God.

[2:22] Or is it May?

[2:23] Broke him.

[2:24] Maybe it's December.

Elliott Kalan

[2:26] Look at his face.

[2:28] He's so struggling to wrap his mind around this.

[2:30] And the problem is he walked himself into this one.

[2:32] That's the thing.

Stuart Wellington

[2:33] This is a Gordian Naki Tide himself.

Dan McCoy

[2:34] I'd love to help, but he has to learn.

[2:36] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[2:36] Maybe – wait, what's in between them?

Dan McCoy

[2:40] I'm going to try and split the difference.

[2:41] It's not going to work.

Elliott Kalan

[2:42] Well, you know what?

[2:43] Stuart, let's jog you out of this one by starting with the beginning of the year.

[2:47] Let's just go month by month.

[2:48] We don't have to spend a lot of time on each.

[2:49] So January.

[2:50] Let's talk – there are lots of movies that are set around like New Year's Eve, for instance, or New Year's Day.

[2:55] New Year's Eve, I guess, technically is December.

[2:56] But let's save that for the end.

[2:58] But what the feeling of a January, you know, where you guys live in New York, January is cold.

[3:03] It's pretty gross.

[3:05] You know, there's not a lot of – the holidays are over.

Dan McCoy

[3:08] I have a couple of sort of leak winter movies that sprung to mind for whatever reason.

[3:15] Sure, yeah.

[3:15] For whatever reason.

Elliott Kalan

[3:17] Now, obviously, in South America, these would not be January movies.

Dan McCoy

[3:20] No, no, no.

[3:21] Look, this is all going to come from our particular perspectives.

[3:25] But The Sweet Hereafter and Affliction both came to me as very wintry films.

Elliott Kalan

[3:33] Yeah, or like The Ice Storm.

[3:34] It's got ice right in the name.

[3:35] Those all feel very January-ish.

[3:38] Yeah.

[3:39] You could cheat, put a movie with January Jones in there, like what, X-Men First Class, you know, or The Three Burials of Malchus Estrada.

[3:47] But I think let's – I think that's a good way to go, kind of freezy, wintry January movies.

[3:53] That's great.

[3:54] Let's move on to February, shall we?

[3:56] A totally different month, totally different weather than January.

[3:58] I don't think so.

[3:59] Oh, uh-oh, then we might have a problem here.

[4:01] So what's different between February and January?

Dan McCoy

[4:05] I would say that February makes me angrier than January because I'm like, this shit's still happening.

[4:12] Don't even get me started on March.

[4:14] Oh, boy.

Elliott Kalan

[4:15] Oh, boy.

[4:15] Well, let's get to March when we get to March.

[4:17] Stuart, do you feel differently about February or does it also inspire rage in you the way it does with Dan?

Stuart Wellington

[4:21] Well, my birthday's in February, so I kind of like it, you know.

[4:26] All right.

[4:27] All right.

Elliott Kalan

[4:27] Okay, yay and nay, pro and con on February.

[4:30] So we're thinking of a gloomy, wintry birthday type of movie.

Stuart Wellington

[4:35] It's also a short month.

Dan McCoy

[4:37] Yeah.

[4:38] It is a short month.

[4:39] So you want like a short month.

[4:40] Honestly, that's why I hate it less than March because it's short.

Elliott Kalan

[4:44] So here's the thing.

[4:45] If there's not a movie that comes to mind that exists, what if we made one up, guys?

[4:49] What if we made up a February movie, a short, wintry birthday movie?

[4:53] What would that movie be like?

[4:55] Who would be in it?

[4:55] What would it be about?

Dan McCoy

[4:57] So it's a wintry birthday.

[5:00] Yes.

[5:01] Jack Frost could be having a birthday.

[5:03] Yes, Jack Frost's birthday.

[5:06] Jack Frost is having a birthday.

[5:07] And yeah, he's mad.

Stuart Wellington

[5:10] Marrying a snowman.

Dan McCoy

[5:13] It's a birthday wedding.

Elliott Kalan

[5:15] And maybe he's mad because his birthday should be February 29th, but not every year is a leap year.

[5:21] So that's why he's going to freeze the earth so it stops turning and it's always February 29th.

[5:27] That's totally Pisces behavior right there, baby.

Dan McCoy

[5:29] What I also like about this is it has like three premises now, which is par for the course for modern films.

[5:35] So we'll probably get the green light on this one.

Elliott Kalan

[5:38] Do you remember when movies just had a story and you watched it and it was over and then you enjoyed it?

Stuart Wellington

[5:45] Yeah.

[5:45] We would also have to explore why Jack Frost has a birthday, what his relationship to birthdays is.

[5:51] So the viewer would be like, wait, he's just having a birthday?

Elliott Kalan

[5:55] Yeah, yeah.

[5:56] That doesn't make sense at all.

[5:57] We have to show him as a little kid when he was, yeah, little Jackson Frostowitz.

[6:01] Yeah, before he professionally changed his name.

[6:04] Sure, yeah.

[6:05] Okay, so I think we've got it.

[6:06] And what's the name of this February movie?

Dan McCoy

[6:12] Go on.

[6:13] I'm just thinking that I feel like Frost needs to be in the title.

[6:16] Frost Nixon.

[6:17] You got it.

[6:17] It's called Frost Nixon.

[6:19] Frost Nixon.

[6:19] Yeah, that's the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[6:20] It actually makes a lot of sense.

[6:22] Yeah.

[6:22] You could also call it the longest February.

[6:24] It just keeps going, you know, because he freezes the earth.

[6:27] Yeah.

[6:28] Sounds good.

[6:29] Okay, let's move on to March.

[6:30] What do we know about March?

[6:31] March, similarly, often cold, but not as much near the end of it, you know?

[6:35] Basketball time, March.

[6:36] People are literally driven insane, and the only thing that can cure it is basketball.

Stuart Wellington

[6:40] Now-

[6:41] I feel like a good March movie would be something like, I don't know, like Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring,

[6:47] because they're marching all over creation in that movie, right?

[6:51] They do march a lot.

Elliott Kalan

[6:52] That's true.

[6:52] That's a good point.

Dan McCoy

[6:53] Also, The Music Man has a lot of marching in it.

Elliott Kalan

[6:56] Yep, fair.

[6:56] It's clearly not set in March, but, you know, that's maybe I'm thinking of it too literally, you know?

Dan McCoy

[7:04] I'm sure, I mean, obviously, it's different in other parts of the country.

[7:07] Here in New York, like, people are always like, yeah, it's March.

[7:10] It's almost spring.

[7:11] I'm like, you have forgot.

[7:12] Like, every year, you seem to forget.

[7:15] It is not.

[7:16] It is essentially February part two is what March is.

[7:20] So here's what-

[7:21] There's a lot of-

Elliott Kalan

[7:21] There's a lot of flush on the ground.

Elliott Kalan

[7:24] So here's the-

[7:25] Here's the movie I'm thinking of.

[7:27] A cranky old man who's mad that everybody else is looking forward to the spring too early.

[7:32] And he's like, everyone-

[7:32] Let's call him-

[7:33] Let's call him Stan.

[7:35] Yeah, let's call him Stan Regoy.

[7:38] And, yeah.

[7:39] And he's got to learn how to find his inner March Hare.

[7:43] That's right.

[7:44] There's a magical rabbit that is going to teach him the wonders of March and that it's okay to look forward to spring.

[7:51] How about that?

[7:52] Does that work?

Stuart Wellington

[7:52] And that rabbit's name is Blarvey?

[7:56] Yeah.

[7:57] Blarvey.

Elliott Kalan

[7:58] Which, I don't know.

[7:59] I mean, that implies that he's like the Black Harvey, which, I mean-

[8:02] Yeah.

[8:02] Well, that's true.

[8:03] I mean, it's fine.

[8:04] There's nothing wrong with that.

Dan McCoy

[8:05] Yeah, the Tracy Jordan 30 Rock movie.

[8:09] That does feel like a 30 Rock joke is Tracy Jordan's going to be a remake of Harvey called Blarvey.

Elliott Kalan

[8:17] Well, okay.

[8:18] We'll figure out the rabbit's name later or never again.

[8:20] We're never talking about this ever again.

[8:21] Let's move on to April.

[8:23] April?

[8:24] Look, Dan, can you at least admit that April is when spring has arrived?

Dan McCoy

[8:28] Yeah.

[8:29] No, look.

[8:30] What makes it the cruelest month?

[8:32] Yeah, because it seems like it's when things are getting better.

[8:34] Yeah.

[8:34] I'm imagining that maybe it's because it teases you.

[8:37] Like, you think that, you know, better times are here but not yet.

Stuart Wellington

[8:41] The most obvious movie for this month is a little movie starring Katie Holmes, nieces of April.

[8:47] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[8:47] Yeah.

[8:48] I mean, her name is April, right?

[8:49] That's the movie where she's frozen with liquid nitrogen and shatters and her family has to put her back together again.

Dan McCoy

[8:53] It is, I believe, a Thanksgiving movie.

Elliott Kalan

[8:56] It is very, very clearly a movie about Thanksgiving.

Dan McCoy

[8:59] That's true.

[9:00] That's the confusing part about signing it.

Elliott Kalan

[9:01] Not since Home for the Holidays has there been a Thanksgiving movie so overtly about the holiday.

Dan McCoy

[9:07] But sure.

[9:08] That's a Thanksgiving movie, right?

Elliott Kalan

[9:08] Home for the Holidays?

[9:10] Yes.

[9:10] Yeah, okay.

Dan McCoy

[9:11] Jodie Foster's directorial debut.

[9:14] Yeah.

[9:14] We could get one of those actors who, like, edits things as a hobby to, like, just edit all the Thanksgiving stuff out of Pieces of April.

[9:21] And then that'll be our April movie.

Elliott Kalan

[9:22] I like that instead of getting a professional editor to do it, we're getting, like, how, was it Topher Grace who edited all the Star Wars prequels together into one movie?

[9:30] Yeah, I think that's who I'm thinking of.

[9:31] Yeah.

[9:32] To have that time on your hands.

[9:33] Oh, what a fantasy.

[9:36] So, okay, so for April, I guess, yeah, we're just taking pieces of April and editing all the Thanksgiving stuff out.

[9:42] Yep.

[9:43] Maybe we can add in some lines like, what, I can't wait for spring to really get here.

[9:47] You know, we could do that.

Stuart Wellington

[9:48] Still surprisingly chilly.

[9:50] Another option, you could do, like, How High or Half Baked because April 20th is 420, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[9:59] I think How High might be hard because that's about the beginning of the school year, right?

[10:04] Like, they're going to, or am I thinking of a different movie?

[10:07] Yes, I think you're right.

[10:09] Because isn't How High the one where they're going to Harvard because they've got super smart weed?

Dan McCoy

[10:14] Is that it?

[10:15] Right, I think that's it.

[10:16] I have not seen the big, like, weed.

[10:18] I remember enjoying that one.

[10:19] Weed movies.

[10:20] I've never seen How High.

[10:22] I've never seen Half Baked.

[10:23] I've not seen a Cheech and or a Chong together.

Stuart Wellington

[10:26] Is it simply so that when you would be talking to a drug dealer, you'd be like, sorry, man, I can't.

[10:31] I have nothing to talk to you about.

[10:33] I'm like, oh, you like movies.

[10:34] Do you like this one?

[10:35] Yeah.

[10:35] You're like, sorry.

[10:37] Just the transaction.

Dan McCoy

[10:40] My heart sinks when they're like, have you seen Smiley Face?

[10:43] I'm like, yeah, I have seen Smiley Face.

[10:45] I have to admit, I have seen Smiley Face.

[10:47] Sorry.

[10:49] And what happens with the rest of the conversation?

[10:53] Oh, you know, just a recap of Smiley Face.

[10:55] It's funny about Smiley Face.

Stuart Wellington

[10:56] Okay.

[10:57] Is that that horror movie where people smile and they die?

[11:00] It's called Smile.

[11:01] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[11:02] Smile, the movie about the beauty pageant?

Dan McCoy

[11:06] Oh, no.

[11:07] You're thinking, yeah, the Michael Ritchie 70s film.

[11:10] Yeah.

[11:11] Yeah.

[11:11] Different one.

[11:12] Okay.

[11:12] Turns out there's a lot of movies about smiling.

Elliott Kalan

[11:15] Yeah, that's true.

Dan McCoy

[11:16] I'm Dan McCoy for the Flop House.

Elliott Kalan

[11:18] It's probably one of the top two most common facial expressions in film, smiling.

Stuart Wellington

[11:23] And it's arguably what most movies are trying to get you to do.

Elliott Kalan

[11:26] Yeah.

[11:27] Most movies like May, December.

[11:30] You mentioned earlier.

[11:30] Like their Joker movie.

Stuart Wellington

[11:31] Whether or not that was their intention, they achieved that goal.

Elliott Kalan

[11:37] So let's move on.

[11:39] So April, we didn't really fully get there, but that's okay.

[11:42] May.

[11:43] I thought I did a really good job.

Stuart Wellington

[11:45] I threw out so many options.

[11:46] No, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[11:47] Those were good options.

[11:47] Let's talk about May, shall we?

[11:49] May.

[11:50] Spring is springing.

[11:52] The May flowers are blooming.

[11:55] Guys, they have a movie.

[11:57] It's called May.

[11:58] Lucky McKee's May.

Dan McCoy

[11:59] I think you're getting hung up on the titles.

[12:03] On the titles.

[12:04] Yeah.

[12:05] I was digging deep.

[12:08] I'm looking.

[12:09] Yeah.

[12:09] I'm thinking meadows.

[12:12] Running through meadows, maybe.

[12:13] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[12:14] Allergies.

[12:14] Sure.

[12:15] Yeah.

[12:15] At first I was like.

[12:17] Is the right movie for May just a Claritin commercial?

[12:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[12:21] I feel like My Girl's more of a summer movie because they're on vacation.

Elliott Kalan

[12:24] My Girl's.

[12:24] Because it's the summer in the movie.

[12:26] Yeah.

[12:26] And summer is traditionally the season when Macaulay Culkin dies of a bee sting.

[12:29] Yeah.

[12:30] Yeah.

[12:30] Every year.

Stuart Wellington

[12:31] Would.

[12:32] So wait.

[12:35] Days Confused.

[12:36] Is that like end of May or early June?

Elliott Kalan

[12:37] That would be like early June, I think.

[12:39] I mean, I don't know when.

[12:40] I don't remember when school years end.

[12:41] I don't know when Texas school years end especially.

[12:44] But yeah.

[12:44] But that could be.

[12:45] Maybe that's the end of May.

[12:45] It's got a good vibe though.

[12:46] A good spring vibe.

[12:48] Yeah.

[12:48] It's not quite a summer vibe too.

[12:50] Yeah.

[12:50] It's not.

[12:50] Even though it's schools letting out, it's not quite the summer vibe.

[12:53] So I guess we could say dazed and confused.

[12:56] Sure.

[12:56] Yeah.

[12:56] I guess that's our May movie.

[12:58] Now, let's do one more movie before we.

[13:00] What?

Dan McCoy

[13:01] I was just saying we may.

Elliott Kalan

[13:03] You know.

[13:04] I wish I hadn't stopped to find out what you said.

[13:06] Sort of.

[13:07] So do I.

[13:08] I misheard it and I was like, surely Dan has a banger.

[13:10] And I just want to make sure it gets the attention it deserves.

[13:12] It was more of.

Dan McCoy

[13:13] Actually, Dan, do you want to give that another pass?

[13:15] I'd say it was more of an Elliot where it's like, oh, maybe that pun wasn't needed to derail the next thing that we're going to go on.

[13:23] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[13:23] I'll say fewer jokes on the podcast, Dan.

[13:26] No, no.

[13:26] Everyone loves it.

[13:30] My mom.

[13:31] She tells me I'm cool.

[13:33] Oh, wow.

[13:33] Roland Mars laughs at you all the time.

[13:35] I listen to it.

[13:36] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[13:36] All these totally real people.

[13:37] You wouldn't know them.

[13:38] They go to school in Canada.

[13:39] They go to all these Canadian girlfriends of mine.

[13:42] Yeah.

[13:42] They all think I'm hilarious.

[13:43] They're models.

[13:44] Yeah.

[13:45] You wouldn't have seen any of their ad campaigns.

[13:46] I don't have like a picture picture.

[13:48] That's why I had to cut a picture of my girlfriend out of a magazine to show it to you.

[13:52] Yeah.

[13:53] So let's move on to June.

[13:54] Don't say Benny in June, Stuart.

[13:56] Like just not.

[13:56] It's not about the month of June.

[13:59] Oh, man.

[14:00] But it's spelled the same.

[14:01] It's not spelled the same, Stuart.

[14:04] It's not.

[14:05] Stuart.

[14:08] How do I get through to you?

[14:09] The spelling of the month, June.

[14:12] So, June, it is the end of the school year.

[14:14] The summer is here and people couldn't be happier.

[14:17] What's it?

[14:18] Dancing in the streets.

[14:20] Yeah.

[14:20] People are dancing in the streets.

[14:21] What is a – I mean, it could be a schools out movie.

[14:25] There's plenty of those.

[14:26] You know?

[14:26] None come to mind at the moment.

[14:27] Like recess schools out.

[14:30] Yeah.

[14:31] Some new month.

Dan McCoy

[14:34] Yeah.

[14:35] What's a – like not a hot summer movie.

[14:38] No, no.

[14:38] It's not the depths of summer.

[14:39] But like a pleasant summer movie.

[14:40] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[14:40] It's still kind of springy.

Stuart Wellington

[14:41] Yeah.

[14:42] Yeah.

[14:42] Your whole life's ahead of you type summer movie.

[14:44] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[14:45] I mean, this could be – it's not – kids are not quite going to camp yet, you know?

[14:49] Probably.

[14:49] That's more of a July thing, I think.

[14:51] So, what's going – what's a movie that's about June then?

[14:54] I mean, also, this is an experience of kids, school going out.

[14:57] For many adults, June is just another month in the endless death march that is professional careers.

Dan McCoy

[15:04] Yeah.

[15:04] Carousel has a song about how June is busted out all over.

[15:08] But that's just the one song.

[15:10] Yeah.

[15:10] So, that probably doesn't apply.

Elliott Kalan

[15:11] There's not a lot of June-specific material in Carousel otherwise.

[15:15] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[15:16] Yeah.

[15:17] It gets more problematic than June-focused.

[15:20] Very much so.

Elliott Kalan

[15:21] I liked this play when it was about June.

[15:25] I didn't like the second act so much.

[15:28] People dying, getting hit?

[15:30] I don't like it.

[15:32] Who's this character?

[15:33] That's what I was trying to know.

[15:34] Old person who just walked out of a production of Carousel.

[15:38] A focus group?

[15:39] Sure, I'll tell you what I thought.

[15:41] On a scale of one to ten, the June material?

[15:43] Ten out of ten.

[15:44] Loved it.

Dan McCoy

[15:45] I also enjoyed the stuff about clam bakes and how they were real nice.

[15:51] Carousel.

[15:52] Some very little lyrics in that.

[15:53] They are going to have a real nice clam bake.

[15:55] Is that a movie?

[15:56] Yeah, they did a movie of it.

[15:57] They did a movie?

[15:58] Okay, that's cool.

Elliott Kalan

[15:58] It's a ride.

[16:00] Universal Studios.

[16:01] Carousel, the movie, the ride.

[16:03] What a ride, too.

[16:04] You better walk with your head held high through this storm because the rate is blowing in.

[16:09] And they hit you with the blowers and the water.

[16:11] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[16:11] You know, it's like a 40X experience, right?

[16:13] Yeah, exactly.

[16:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[16:15] So, I think that covers June, right?

[16:17] I guess Twister.

Dan McCoy

[16:19] Twister.

[16:19] Like we found it at the end?

Elliott Kalan

[16:20] Yeah.

[16:20] The perfect June movie.

[16:24] Yep.

[16:24] Okay.

[16:25] Let's go with Twister.

[16:27] So, hey, everybody.

[16:28] We're going to take a quick break as we reach the middle of the year just to talk about some Flophouse stuff that's going on.

[16:34] As you may remember from the announcement at the top of this episode, Flop TV Season 2 has begun.

[16:41] Flop TV Season 2.

[16:43] As of the release of this episode, I believe we will only have done the first episode of Flop TV 2 that was Robocop 2.

[16:50] But coming up on the first Saturday in October, that's October 5th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific, we'll be broadcasting live on your computer if you have a ticket.

[17:01] We're talking about Break into Electric Boogaloo, the second episode of Flop TV Season 2.

[17:08] Can't make it to the live broadcast?

[17:11] That is okay.

[17:12] Your ticket or your season pass gets you access to the video right after the show happens, and that video is going to stay up through the end of February.

[17:20] You can watch it as many times as you want in whatever order you want, with whoever you want.

[17:24] I'm not judging.

[17:25] Just enjoy it.

[17:27] Anytime through the end of February, season passes and individual tickets.

[17:32] You can get individual tickets, but the season pass is a six-show bundle, six shows for the price of five, and it does get you access to that first episode.

[17:39] So in case you missed it, there's still a reason to get that season pass.

[17:41] Go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[17:46] And pulling back the curtain, we're recording this the day after our first episode, RoboCup 2.

[17:51] And guys, I had a lot of fun.

[17:53] I thought it was really great, and I really enjoyed it.

[17:56] Yeah, you know, it's RoboCup 2.

Dan McCoy

[17:58] Yeah.

[17:59] Well, I mean, the movie was fun to watch, but also the show that we did was good.

[18:03] Yeah, I'll make it clear again.

Elliott Kalan

[18:04] You are not buying a ticket to watch RoboCup 2.

[18:06] Yeah.

[18:07] You will only be watching.

[18:07] We don't have the rights for that.

[18:09] We don't have the rights, both legally or morally, to do that.

[18:13] We are watching, but it is us talking about it.

[18:15] It is a kind of one-hour condensed version of the Flophouse where you get to see us.

[18:19] But there's also some fun video stuff.

[18:21] There's some new interstitial things that we're doing.

[18:24] It is a slowly transforming into a professional television show production.

Dan McCoy

[18:30] Yeah.

[18:31] Watch us metamorphose over the years from like a gooey caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly.

[18:38] I don't know why the caterpillar is gooey.

[18:39] I actually have never seen a gooey caterpillar.

Elliott Kalan

[18:41] No, they are not gooey.

[18:43] They are soft and surprisingly harder than you think they're going to be.

[18:46] Yeah.

[18:46] And kind of cute.

[18:47] Yeah.

[18:47] We are currently, my younger son is growing a silkworm right now, raising it so that it can become a…

[18:53] So he can start providing for the family.

[18:55] Exactly.

[18:55] Thank you.

[18:56] It's time for him to earn his keep.

[18:57] And that thing is growing huge.

[18:58] We keep being like, when is this thing going to pupate?

[19:00] It's getting enormous.

[19:02] So soon I'll have to drive it around in my car.

[19:04] That's how big it's going to be.

Stuart Wellington

[19:05] It's just squirting silk all over creation.

[19:08] Yeah.

[19:08] At some point you're like, oh my God, that's not a silkworm.

[19:11] But then it's too late.

Elliott Kalan

[19:12] It's a Mexican sewerette.

[19:13] Yeah.

[19:14] Yeah.

[19:15] Yeah.

[19:15] Just like in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.

[19:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:18] Well, Flophouse 2.

Elliott Kalan

[19:20] Flophouse Season 2.

[19:21] Go to.

Dan McCoy

[19:22] Flop TV.

[19:23] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:23] Sorry.

[19:24] Yeah.

[19:24] Go to Flop TV tickets and then go to theflophouse.simpletix.com.

S4

[19:34] Hello, Internet.

[19:35] I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy.

Elliott Kalan

[19:37] And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy.

S4

[19:39] And this is a promo for Schmanners.

Elliott Kalan

[19:40] It's extraordinary etiquette.

S4

[19:42] For ordinary occasions.

[19:43] Every week, we're going to tell you about a bit of culture, a bit of history, how etiquette

[19:49] still applies in the modern day, all that stuff.

[19:51] We also love to do biographies and histories of and, you know, general procedurals.

S5

[19:57] How to do etiquette in today's society.

S4

[20:01] So come check it out every Friday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

S5

[20:07] Manners Schmanners.

[20:08] Get it?

[20:11] My name's Doug Duguay and I'm here to talk about my podcast in the middle of the one you're

[20:15] listening to.

[20:16] It's called Valley Heat and it's about my neighborhood, the Burbank Rancho Equestrian

[20:20] District.

[20:20] The center of the world when it comes to foosball, frisbee golf, and high-speed freeway roller

[20:25] skating.

[20:26] And there's been a Jaguar parked outside on my curb for 10 months.

[20:29] I have no idea who owns it.

[20:31] I have a feeling it's related to the drug drop that was happening in my garbage can a

[20:34] little over a year ago.

[20:35] And if this has been a boring commercial, imagine 45 minutes of it.

[20:39] Okay, Valley Heat, it's on every month on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts.

[20:44] Check it out, but honestly, skip it.

[20:46] These are the Chronicles of the Rancho Equestrian District in Burbank, California.

[20:50] These are the events taking place in my house, around my house.

Elliott Kalan

[20:54] Do you guys have any other announcements before we jump back into the months I like on film?

[20:59] Milf?

Dan McCoy

[21:00] I mean, I know Stuart does some Twitch streams.

Stuart Wellington

[21:04] Yeah, I try to do a regular weekly Twitch stream where I hang out for an hour or two building

[21:09] and painting Warhammer models.

[21:11] If you have any dying, if you're dying to ask me any questions or chat with me, that's a

[21:17] good place to find me.

[21:18] And my Twitch account is just Stuart Wellington over on Twitch.

[21:22] And yeah, I usually do weekday afternoons.

Dan McCoy

[21:26] And I'll say a couple of newsletter things.

[21:29] The Flophouse has a newsletter called Flop Secrets that comes out a couple times a month.

[21:35] You can go to flophousepodcast.com and right on the front page, if you just put your email

[21:40] in there, you can sign up and you'll get news about us.

[21:45] You know, maybe some side things that we're doing that we don't have time to mention on the podcast

[21:50] or whatever.

[21:51] Some extra writing to make it fun.

[21:54] And I have a personal newsletter called Dan McCoy's Special Interests.

[21:59] If you go to danmccoyinterests.com, you can sign up for that.

[22:04] It's pop culture commentary, personal essay, hybrid sort of stuff with jokes in it.

Elliott Kalan

[22:12] You want jokes?

[22:13] Yeah.

[22:14] I like them too.

[22:15] Let's tell some more, everybody.

[22:17] Oh, and also, if you're in a comic book store, why not check out Disney Hercules from Dynamite

[22:20] Comics written by me on store shelves now.

[22:22] It's a fun story that continues the tales of the characters from the Disney Hercules movie.

[22:28] But let's get back into the months, everybody, back to MILF, months I like on film, a word

[22:35] that the people at Disney probably don't want me to mention so close to my mention of the

[22:38] Hercules series.

[22:39] But what are you going to do?

[22:41] This is our show and nobody's our boss, as I mentioned earlier.

[22:44] So we've established January through June.

[22:46] I think we did a great job.

[22:47] If I can remember, let's see.

[22:48] January is one of those wintry kind of sad movies.

[22:51] February was a movie about Jack Frost being mad about his birthday.

[22:56] March was Stan Rogoy getting mad that people are looking forward to the spring and having

[23:01] to learn a lesson from a rabbit.

[23:03] April is pieces of April with Thanksgiving stuff edited out of it.

[23:07] May, to be honest, I feel like we didn't really land on much of anything, did we?

Dan McCoy

[23:12] You said Dazed and Confused.

[23:13] Oh, Dazed and Confused.

Elliott Kalan

[23:14] That's right, Dazed and Confused.

[23:15] And June, oh, maybe June is the one where we kind of—

Dan McCoy

[23:18] Well, we sort of landed on Twister as a default at the end.

Elliott Kalan

[23:20] Oh, that's right, Twister.

[23:22] So Twister.

[23:23] So I hope you guys will help me keep track of this at the end of the episode, too, because

[23:27] I've already forgotten some of them.

Dan McCoy

[23:28] And of course, anyone out there, you know, program a film series with these films, like

[23:35] do a marathon in your home.

Stuart Wellington

[23:37] Yeah, I mean, Dan's probably going to, after this, immediately set up a little letterbox.

[23:41] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:42] For the made-up movies, I guess, just tell those to yourself in your head.

[23:46] Yeah, yeah, just you get to make the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[23:47] Yeah, gather all the younglings around the fire and tell that story.

Elliott Kalan

[23:50] Yeah.

[23:51] Act it out.

[23:52] So let's go to July.

[23:54] It's summer now.

[23:57] It's things—there's a lot of things you can do with July.

[23:59] It's summer camp, summer vacation, the 4th of July.

Stuart Wellington

[24:02] Well, you know it's got to star Will Smith, because that guy was the king of July for a

[24:06] while.

[24:07] He was the king of July.

[24:07] 4th of July weekend, that is Will Smith's weekend.

Elliott Kalan

[24:10] You don't see him in a lot of huge blockbuster movies these days.

[24:13] I wonder why that is.

[24:14] That's weird.

Elliott Kalan

[24:14] Dan, do you remember?

[24:15] Did something happen?

Dan McCoy

[24:18] I seem to recall an incident occurring.

[24:22] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[24:23] Oh, are you talking about the time that Chris Rock's face attacked Will Smith's hand on live

[24:27] television?

[24:27] Yeah.

[24:28] That's what happened.

[24:29] Okay, so it's a Will Smith movie.

[24:31] Is it a big action blockbuster, big science fiction thing?

[24:34] Yeah, it's called Independence Day.

[24:35] Oh, yeah.

[24:36] Oh, okay.

[24:37] That is a pretty—

Dan McCoy

[24:38] I mean, that's pretty much—you got to go with that.

Elliott Kalan

[24:40] That's about as July a movie as it gets.

[24:42] Yeah, that's for sure.

Stuart Wellington

[24:43] If you can come up with a more July movie, I'll shake your hand.

Elliott Kalan

[24:46] Yeah, I mean, Born on the 4th of July is surprisingly little July content in that movie.

Dan McCoy

[24:51] Most of Miranda July's movies aren't specific to the season.

[24:54] No, not at all.

Elliott Kalan

[24:55] Not at all.

[24:56] I don't think Kajillionaire is really as much of a July film in many ways.

[25:01] Yeah, Independence Day.

[25:02] You heard it first.

[25:04] The movie that—

[25:06] I'm doing really good at Elliot's games.

[25:08] Yeah, I guess.

[25:09] You're doing great.

[25:10] Dan, you got to open your mind a little bit, you know?

Dan McCoy

[25:12] Yeah, you're right.

[25:13] You know?

[25:14] I'm sorry.

Elliott Kalan

[25:15] But, okay, let's go on to the next one.

[25:17] August.

[25:17] And now Stuart's going to say August, Osage County.

[25:20] Let's—

[25:20] Yes.

[25:20] I don't know that—

[25:21] I've never seen it.

[25:22] I don't know if it's actually in August.

Dan McCoy

[25:23] So here's something that just occurred to me.

[25:25] So I—

Elliott Kalan

[25:26] Are you going to take issue with the way I'm running this episode, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[25:30] Staying on the blockbuster action theme,

[25:34] the first thing that came to my mind for August was Die Hard with a Vengeance,

[25:39] which starts with, you know, a hot town, summer in the city.

[25:42] Like, part of the thing is like, oh, it's a hot summer in the city.

[25:47] Uh-huh.

[25:47] Like, on top of all of—

[25:48] How's the back of your neck feeling?

[25:50] Dirt and gritty.

[25:51] Oh, that sounds terrible.

[25:52] Shower, dude.

[25:54] But like, it—

Elliott Kalan

[25:55] To have Gritty, the hockey mascot, on your neck.

[25:59] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[25:59] In addition to everything else that is going wrong,

[26:02] tippers are flaring because it's hot in the city.

[26:06] Yeah, because it's so hot.

[26:07] But then—

Dan McCoy

[26:07] But I just remember that part of that movie is,

[26:10] there's like bomb threats in schools.

[26:14] Why are these kids in schools in like the hot part of the city?

[26:18] That confuses me now.

[26:19] Maybe it's the start of the school year or—

[26:22] Maybe the start of the school year or it could be a summer school.

Elliott Kalan

[26:24] It could be summer school.

[26:25] Unfortunately, there's no films about summer school,

[26:27] so we don't know if that's a concept that exists.

[26:29] That actually is a pretty good August suggestion.

[26:31] Dan, yeah, your complaint,

[26:33] your old man unnecessary complaint about Die Hard with a Vengeance

[26:36] has led us around to possibly the perfect August movie.

[26:39] It all has value.

Stuart Wellington

[26:39] Summer school, Mark Harmon's masterpiece.

[26:43] By masterpiece, I mean the performance he delivers as—

[26:46] What's his character's name again, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[26:49] Summer T-School.

[26:51] The T stands for the.

[26:53] Yeah, yeah.

[26:55] You wouldn't call it Dean Cameron's masterpiece

[26:56] or would you put one of the ski schools in there?

Stuart Wellington

[26:59] That's—I can't choose between my children, Dan.

[27:02] Yeah.

[27:03] It's hard.

Elliott Kalan

[27:04] All right, yeah, let's say summer school.

[27:06] Why not?

[27:06] Okay, so August is summer school.

[27:08] July was Independence Day, so that's—

[27:10] We're not doing two school movies,

[27:11] although Will Smith really schools those aliens

[27:13] in how humans don't give up.

Stuart Wellington

[27:17] Yeah, and you learn a little something about how a MacBook

[27:20] can link up with an alien spaceship.

Elliott Kalan

[27:22] Yeah, that Apple software also links up with alien software.

Dan McCoy

[27:24] Look, of all the major plot holes—

Elliott Kalan

[27:28] Of all the things for Cranky Dan to not be upset about.

[27:32] But yes, explain, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[27:33] They've had years to study this thing.

[27:37] I always just assumed I'm willing to go with this movie

[27:41] and be like, I don't know,

[27:42] they figured out some fucking way to interface with this thing

[27:44] over the decades.

[27:46] That's not one that's going to bug me necessarily.

[27:49] Okay.

[27:49] Especially in Independence Day.

[27:52] I'm not looking for rigorous, hard sci-fi out of this film.

Stuart Wellington

[27:55] Dan's reacting the way I react when somebody's like,

[27:57] it's ridiculous that an orc would say meat's back on the menu.

[28:00] They've never seen a menu, and I'm like, I don't care, bitch.

Elliott Kalan

[28:03] I mean, as the person who has made that point,

[28:05] I don't appreciate the aggressive hostility,

[28:08] but I understand I'm coming after one of your own

[28:10] and going after the Lord of the Rings movies.

[28:12] Yeah.

[28:14] Speaking of which, I had no interest in watching

[28:17] That Rings of Power show,

[28:19] and then I found out that Tom Bombadil was in an episode,

[28:21] and I was like, maybe I'll just watch that one.

[28:23] I gotta see this.

Stuart Wellington

[28:25] Oh, dip.

[28:25] I haven't even watched that episode yet.

[28:27] Do you know which episode?

[28:28] I'm sure I can find out.

Elliott Kalan

[28:28] I think it's called The House of Tom Bombadil

[28:31] or something like that.

[28:32] Oh, hell yeah.

[28:32] I think it's a pretty big part of the episode.

[28:34] Is Goldberry in it?

[28:35] I don't know.

[28:36] I haven't seen it.

[28:36] Is Fatty Lumpkin in it?

[28:39] I haven't seen it.

Stuart Wellington

[28:40] But it just shows where my head is at that.

[28:42] I'm just checking who plays Fatty Lumpkin.

Elliott Kalan

[28:45] I'm not interested in until the character

[28:48] that Peter Jackson decided was too silly

[28:50] for his movies gets put in.

[28:54] Tom Bombadil, I love it.

Stuart Wellington

[28:55] You know Bezos is like, hell yeah.

[28:59] We're going to put in the definitive Tom Bombadil.

[29:02] Yep.

[29:03] Now I'm going to go back to looking like

[29:05] low-rent Pitbull over here.

[29:09] Ironic since he is worth so much more than Pitbull.

Elliott Kalan

[29:12] And yet he is not Mr. Worldwide at all.

[29:14] No, not at all.

[29:15] I just love the moment in Lord of the Rings

[29:18] in the books where they're like,

[29:19] why don't we just give the ring to Tom Bombadil?

[29:20] And they're like, he would just lose it or something.

Dan McCoy

[29:24] Look, he's very powerful, but he's also kind of a flake.

[29:27] Have you heard these songs he sings about himself?

Elliott Kalan

[29:30] I mean, if I was all-powerful and eternally ancient,

[29:33] I think I'd just walk around singing songs about myself too,

[29:35] you know, so I really relate to him.

[29:36] I feel seen when I read about Tom Bombadil.

Stuart Wellington

[29:39] Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's the Elliot character,

[29:41] the Lord of the Rings.

[29:43] Oh, for sure, for sure.

[29:44] Either that or-

[29:45] Super powerful, everybody knows your name.

[29:47] I mean, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[29:50] Live in the woods.

[29:51] Who are the, what is it?

[29:52] Is it Mary and Pippin?

[29:54] Are they the friends that come along with him?

[29:55] I could see myself being one of those guys too,

[29:57] you know, just getting it, not being in over his head.

[29:59] Okay.

[29:59] August, we've established summer school.

[30:02] Now it's September.

[30:02] Ironically, in my notes, I have start of school year,

[30:04] but I feel like we've hit the school thing a little already.

[30:07] What's a September movie?

[30:08] Let's not say the movie September.

[30:10] I've never seen it.

[30:10] It's one of Woody Allen movies that I haven't seen.

[30:13] It's the movie that they reshot the,

[30:15] he shot it with one actor

[30:17] and then reshot it with an entirely different actor

[30:19] playing that part.

[30:20] I can't remember who the actors were who were in it.

[30:23] So September, what's a September movie?

[30:25] We can think about the song September.

[30:27] Did they ever make a movie out of that?

Stuart Wellington

[30:33] I feel like something like Back to the Future.

[30:36] Okay, explain.

[30:37] It kind of feels like the start of a school year,

[30:40] but it's also kind of like you're worried about time

[30:42] and the passage of time and looking backwards.

[30:45] I guess I don't get real fall vibes from it.

Dan McCoy

[30:48] I get more fall vibes from Teen Wolf.

[30:50] But September doesn't feel very fall.

[30:53] It feels, you know, like,

[30:54] and it technically isn't

[30:55] until two-thirds of the way through the month.

Elliott Kalan

[30:58] Yeah, I don't have to live by those rules.

[31:01] I don't have to wait for the months.

[31:04] Ellie lives in California,

Stuart Wellington

[31:05] a place where months do not exist.

Elliott Kalan

[31:08] I mean, that's the other thing.

[31:08] In California, the variation in weather is so minimal.

[31:12] But, okay, September.

[31:13] You know what?

[31:14] You guys, you know seasons better than me.

[31:15] You live in New York.

[31:16] All right, Back to the Future is our September movie.

Stuart Wellington

[31:18] I mean, of the three of us,

[31:20] I think Stuart and Dan are the real New Yorkers here.

[31:24] Wow.

[31:25] Wow.

[31:26] So rough.

[31:27] You're abdicated.

Elliott Kalan

[31:27] You're thrown.

[31:28] I've still lived in New York for longer

[31:30] than I've lived anywhere else in my life.

[31:31] But, yeah, okay.

[31:32] And the second place was New Jersey,

[31:34] you know, which is kind of like New York's little brother

[31:36] that wants to get on the action.

[31:37] But New York is like,

[31:38] when you're older, when you're older.

[31:40] Yeah.

[31:41] Yeah, I have quite reached that point yet.

[31:42] I think Stuart and Dan are still on top.

[31:46] I guess if we add the amount of time

[31:47] you guys have lived together in New York,

[31:48] have lived in New York together, combine it.

Dan McCoy

[31:50] The amount of time you guys lived as roommates.

[31:53] We got to clean up this scoreboard, by the way.

[31:56] It's keeping score on so many different things.

[31:58] It is a messy scoreboard, yeah.

[32:00] I think it's losing the value.

Elliott Kalan

[32:01] Very hard to read.

[32:02] I think in the last episode,

[32:04] you just got two points for something.

[32:06] And I don't even remember what it was.

[32:07] Yeah, two points.

Dan McCoy

[32:08] Unrelated to this.

[32:09] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[32:10] So moving on.

[32:11] So September, as said by the true fall New Yorkers,

[32:14] Dan and Stu, September is back to the future.

[32:17] Let's go to October.

[32:18] Now, here's the thing.

[32:20] It feels like the most obvious thing for October

[32:22] would be to choose a Halloween movie.

[32:24] That's just one day out of the month.

[32:26] That's just the last day, you know?

[32:27] No, I know.

[32:28] Most of October is not Halloween.

[32:31] I still want to toss out the-

[32:32] If you're looking at the numbers,

[32:33] 30 31sts, 30 31sts of October is not Halloween.

Dan McCoy

[32:37] That's true.

[32:38] But I still want to toss out the movie,

[32:40] Trick-er Treat,

[32:42] which I feel has,

[32:44] like, it's about Halloween,

[32:45] but it has such autumnal vibes.

[32:47] It does feel very autumnal.

[32:49] That's true, yeah.

[32:49] Very good at setting that stage.

Stuart Wellington

[32:53] No, I'm into it.

[32:54] Yeah, there's lots of leaves changing color.

[32:57] Mm-hmm.

[32:58] People wear-

[32:59] All the ground.

[32:59] Yeah, sweaters.

Elliott Kalan

[33:00] Yeah, they're not even on trees anymore.

[33:01] They're just-

[33:02] Yeah.

[33:02] The trees get-

[33:02] That's the time of year.

[33:03] Trees are nude.

[33:04] They get so lazy,

Dan McCoy

[33:05] they just drop their leaves.

[33:06] Nude.

[33:07] Believe if you want to see some nude trees.

Elliott Kalan

[33:11] Wait, Dan, I want you to keep going with this.

[33:13] Dan McCoy foliage pervert.

[33:15] Yeah.

[33:15] Mm-hmm.

[33:16] Tell us more about how you feel about that time of year

[33:19] when the trees are just totally starkers.

[33:21] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[33:21] Yeah, yeah.

[33:22] It's the thing, though.

[33:23] You know, like, you don't even need to ask them.

[33:25] Like, they're just dropping leaves.

[33:27] Like, they want you to look at them.

Elliott Kalan

[33:29] Because you don't feel weird just staring at them?

[33:31] You don't have to, like, glance out of the corner of your eye?

Dan McCoy

[33:34] Maybe I would if leaf peeping was not, like, a thing that everyone does.

[33:38] Yeah.

[33:39] Like, we'll talk about, like, all that leaf peeping you got to do.

[33:42] Mm-hmm.

[33:42] This is the kind of peeping that's right.

[33:43] Yeah.

[33:44] It sounds like-

Stuart Wellington

[33:45] I love those leaves.

[33:46] They look even better on my floor.

[33:49] Mm-hmm.

[33:50] Dan, do you really want leaves all over the floor of your bedroom?

[33:52] You know, not on my floor.

[33:54] Just, like, the ground.

Elliott Kalan

[33:56] But, yeah.

[33:57] Do you ever accidentally call-

Stuart Wellington

[33:58] When you were a kid, did you ever accidentally call the ground the floor and everybody made fun of you?

[34:03] Yes.

[34:03] Like, when you call, like, the teacher mom on accident?

[34:05] Yeah, yeah.

[34:07] And you're like, I'll never live this down.

[34:10] I don't-

[34:10] I'm going to be-

[34:11] This is a scar forever, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:13] I don't want to, like, call her out because I-

[34:16] But Audrey will still refer to the ground as the floor sometimes.

[34:22] Wow.

[34:23] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[34:23] But I think I, you know-

[34:25] And you're in counseling about this?

[34:25] It's really brave me to share this story where she can't repeat it.

[34:29] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:30] I mean, for all I know, it might be idiomatic.

[34:31] It may be, like, related to-

[34:32] Now you're calling her an idiot.

Elliott Kalan

[34:36] Language differences.

[34:37] I'm positive.

[34:38] Now, I know we talked about this already and we're kind of done with it, but I did want

[34:40] to say my line for Dan McCoy, foliage pervert.

[34:43] If he's talking to a tree, he goes, hey, why don't you drop those leaves?

[34:47] Show me if the branches match the roots.

[34:49] Oh.

[34:51] Anyway, so Dan, use that the next time I guess you're hitting on a tree.

Dan McCoy

[34:54] I guess so.

[34:55] Yeah.

[34:55] This character makes me uncomfortable mostly because I find it so easy to slip into it.

[35:00] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:01] That's a fair point.

[35:02] Okay.

[35:03] Trick our treat for October.

[35:05] Trick Ronald treat.

[35:06] Now let's go on to November.

[35:08] Also the fall.

[35:09] To be honest, let's just take those scenes for Pieces of April that we cut out and just

[35:13] stick them in here.

[35:14] Thanksgiving.

[35:15] Yeah, it's not one.

[35:15] I think that works.

[35:17] Because that's what Thanksgiving is all about is just the leftovers.

[35:20] Leftovers, you know?

[35:20] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[35:21] Yeah.

[35:21] So maybe it's-

[35:22] Recycling the things you're thankful for every year when you're demanded to recite them,

[35:26] you know?

Elliott Kalan

[35:27] Do you guys have to do that?

[35:28] We would have to do that sometimes.

[35:29] My family and my dad always would go indoor plumbing.

[35:32] That would be his joke every time.

Dan McCoy

[35:33] It is suggested by, I don't want to, you know, call it any other members of my family.

[35:39] I feel bad that I've done it once already.

[35:41] But it is suggested at Thanksgiving and I don't like it just as a person who does not like

[35:47] to-

[35:48] Who feels no thanks for anything.

[35:49] Yeah.

[35:50] Compelled to speak publicly, like on the spot.

[35:54] Like I love speaking publicly in, you know, performance formats, but I don't like being told like,

[35:59] hey, you gotta, but I have-

Stuart Wellington

[36:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[36:03] I do feel like-

[36:03] That all stems back to when you were a kid and you got pulled into that rap battle.

Elliott Kalan

[36:08] And in the rap battle, you meant to say ground, but you said floor and everyone made fun of you.

[36:13] Oh my God.

Dan McCoy

[36:14] Yeah, no.

[36:15] And I was like, ground, round, down.

[36:20] And then I got pushed down onto the ground.

Stuart Wellington

[36:23] Yeah.

[36:23] Which you would call the floor.

[36:25] Yeah.

[36:25] You would call the floor.

Dan McCoy

[36:26] I just don't, I mean, like as I've grown older, like I understand, I appreciate, like it is good to have gratitude for things.

[36:34] Like that is what will make you happier is to actually think about the things that you are blessed with.

[36:40] But I don't like to be forced to share them publicly.

Elliott Kalan

[36:43] Yeah.

[36:44] So why don't you tell us some of them right now?

[36:46] Just kidding.

[36:47] Just kidding.

[36:47] I'm not interested.

[36:48] Okay.

[36:49] Let's moving on.

[36:50] Okay.

[36:50] I'll take you out of my gratitude journal then.

[36:53] Oh no.

[36:54] I've been working so hard to get into there.

Stuart Wellington

[36:57] Yeah.

[36:58] You have a journal?

[36:59] I usually write my gratitude on the casings of bullets.

[37:02] What?

[37:04] Yeah.

[37:04] I'm pretty cool.

[37:05] I'm like a badass.

[37:07] Yeah.

[37:07] And I just write them on the casings of sausages.

[37:09] Yeah.

[37:10] Just scratch it in there with like a giant buoy knife.

Elliott Kalan

[37:14] Before we move on to the last month of the year, Dan, is there anything you would like to express gratitude for in this public forum?

Dan McCoy

[37:19] You know, I both, you know, I get to see you guys and cheer up, you know, regularly.

[37:26] Earlier today, I was like, oh, we got to record.

Stuart Wellington

[37:29] We just did a thing last night.

Dan McCoy

[37:31] You know, I'm tired.

[37:32] But then immediately, seeing your faces cheers me up.

Elliott Kalan

[37:36] Oh, that's sweet.

[37:37] That's how I feel too.

[37:38] All right.

[37:38] Moving on to the best and worst part of the year, December.

[37:43] People love it and they hate it.

[37:46] And they have different reasons.

[37:47] Oh, there's an obvious one.

Stuart Wellington

[37:48] It should be May December.

[37:49] Oh, God.

[37:50] Oh, no.

[37:51] Oh, he's caught in the same loop again.

[37:52] Once more.

[37:53] Stu has figured it out.

[37:55] I should have known because May is the first word in the title.

Dan McCoy

[37:59] I mean, we did edit pieces of April.

[38:01] So you just keep.

[38:02] I mean, it could just be the December part.

Elliott Kalan

[38:04] Again, there's no like December or May parts of the movie necessarily.

Dan McCoy

[38:08] Yeah.

[38:08] I'm trying to stay away from.

[38:09] It's not about.

Elliott Kalan

[38:10] I'm willing to bet it doesn't take place in either of those months.

[38:12] Maybe May.

[38:13] I mean, maybe December too.

Dan McCoy

[38:15] As a mixed faith podcast, you know, I would like to steer away from any Christmas things.

[38:20] Thank you, Dan.

[38:21] Thank you.

[38:22] I would love that.

[38:23] But that makes it hard because it is a dominant cultural force.

[38:29] Well, what else goes on in December?

[38:31] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[38:31] Should we.

[38:32] It's winter again.

[38:33] This is that.

[38:34] So in December, I feel like.

[38:35] Solstice.

[38:36] I feel like New York, December.

[38:38] New York, January is miserable.

[38:40] But New York, December is kind of like the fun.

[38:41] The snow is still white and fluffy and clean.

[38:44] It's not yet full of dog pee and human pee and garbage and slush yet.

[38:50] And so what if there's like a.

[38:51] What's a nice winter movie or story?

[38:53] Remember, we can also invent these movies.

[38:55] We've been doing a good job of finding real movies.

[38:57] But we can also invent them too.

[38:58] What's an ideal December movie?

Stuart Wellington

[39:03] Ideal December.

[39:05] Oh, wait.

[39:05] But that's.

[39:06] I mean, it's kind of a holiday movie, I guess.

[39:07] But I mean, for an honest answer is the holdovers for me.

Elliott Kalan

[39:12] Yeah.

[39:12] I just love it so much.

[39:14] That's a holiday movie.

[39:16] But I feel like it is more.

[39:17] If anything, I can.

[39:18] I can appreciate a movie where people are burdened by the responsibility of a holiday.

[39:23] Yeah.

[39:23] Like it is a disruption rather than something they are looking forward to and necessarily enjoying.

Dan McCoy

[39:28] Yeah.

[39:28] And it is sort of a secular message about being kind to one another during holidays that can be difficult.

Elliott Kalan

[39:35] There's none of this Christmas spirit bullshit where everyone agrees there's something magic in the air that that makes life better in December.

[39:42] Thanks to the blessings of Jesus and Santa.

Stuart Wellington

[39:44] Would the holdovers have been made better if there was like a magical like spirit of Christmas character who showed up and saved everything?

Elliott Kalan

[39:50] I wonder how would the spirit of Christmas character integrate to the plot of a boarding school student who has to spend the holiday with his cranky teacher?

Stuart Wellington

[39:57] Yeah.

[39:58] Yeah.

[39:58] Maybe it fixes his eye or something.

[40:01] Who knows?

[40:02] Oh, wow.

[40:02] Or fixes his body smell.

[40:05] Yeah.

[40:05] Oh, yeah.

[40:05] Because he smells like fish, right?

[40:06] I forgot about that.

Elliott Kalan

[40:08] What if they're like, okay, he's already kind of a cranky guy.

[40:12] He has a little bit of a drinking problem.

[40:13] He has an eye that doesn't align right.

[40:15] A little bit of a drinking problem.

[40:17] And he's lonely.

[40:19] What if we also made him smell like fish all the time?

[40:21] It feels like they're just loaning so much.

[40:22] And he gives everyone the same book.

[40:24] Yeah.

[40:25] Yeah.

[40:26] Let's say The Holdovers.

[40:27] That's a great one.

[40:28] Yeah.

[40:28] And that's one of my favorite movies of, was that last year?

[40:31] Yeah.

[40:32] Easily.

[40:33] It was really good.

[40:34] Why don't they make more movies about The Holdover?

[40:36] Like The Holdover.

[40:36] Why don't they make movies about The Holdovers?

[40:39] Like The Holdovers 2.

[40:41] The Holdovers 2, the making of The Holdovers.

Stuart Wellington

[40:43] I would kind of love to see what Alexander Payne would do with like a sequel to one of his movies.

[40:47] Bring in Stallone and Schwarzenegger to join The Holdovers.

Elliott Kalan

[40:52] Yeah, yeah.

[40:53] Jason Statham.

[40:54] He's now teaching at a school where it's all action professors.

[40:59] Yeah, that does sound.

[41:01] Well, guys, we ruined The Holdovers.

[41:05] But we've made the year better with all of these movies.

[41:08] Let's remind the listeners again so they can, as Dan said, program the perfect movies for each month.

[41:13] January, let's say, sweet hereafter.

[41:17] Start off with a real bang of joy in January.

[41:20] February, of course, is a made-up movie about a cranky old man who hates that – oh, no.

[41:25] February is the –

[41:26] That's March.

Stuart Wellington

[41:27] That's March.

[41:27] February.

[41:28] It's Jack Frost's birthday.

Elliott Kalan

[41:29] That's the made-up movie about Jack Frost and his birth – being mad about his birthday.

[41:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[41:33] And what would that movie be called?

Elliott Kalan

[41:36] I think we called it Frost-ish.

[41:37] I thought you called it Frost-Nixon or Long February.

[41:41] Frost-Nixon colon the Long February.

[41:43] Yeah.

[41:43] And we'll have to figure out who Nixon is.

[41:45] Maybe the snowman he's marrying is named Nixon.

[41:47] Yeah.

[41:47] Or maybe it's Mojo Nixon.

[41:49] Anyway, so in March, there's – then we've got the movie about the cranky old man who is learning that it's okay to anticipate the spring even though the weather is still miserable.

[41:59] Yeah.

[42:00] April is, of course, as we all remember, the parts and pieces of April that are not Thanksgiving-specific that have been edited together.

[42:07] May.

[42:08] What was our movie for May?

[42:10] Stuart, you had one that you –

[42:11] The Dasing and Fused.

[42:12] Yeah.

[42:13] The Dasing and Fused.

[42:15] June, of course, is – what was it?

Dan McCoy

[42:18] What was it?

[42:19] What was it?

[42:20] May was Days of Confused.

[42:22] June was Twister.

Elliott Kalan

[42:23] May was – June was that classic June movie, Twister.

[42:27] What other one would it be?

[42:28] July, of course –

[42:29] It's like we're fucking playing Boggle or something and we're trying to remember the stupid pattern.

[42:33] July, of course, was Independence Day, the most July movie perhaps ever made.

[42:38] August then was Summer School, perhaps a super August movie.

[42:43] September, we can all remember, was –

[42:46] Can we?

Dan McCoy

[42:48] September was about something – oh, wait, Back to the Future.

Elliott Kalan

[42:53] September, for some reason I can't really remember, was Back to the Future.

[42:56] I'm just going to let that one slide because the episode is ending.

Dan McCoy

[42:59] Yeah, you just want to watch Back to the Future.

Elliott Kalan

[43:01] Yeah, if you need a reason to watch Back to the Future, go ahead.

[43:03] I'll give you September is that reason.

[43:04] October was Trick or Treat.

[43:06] We fell into the hole of Halloween, the Halloween trap, but that's okay.

[43:10] November, of course, we're now using the pieces of pieces of April that we didn't use previously, just the Thanksgiving parts.

Dan McCoy

[43:16] It's like a memento-style payoff.

Elliott Kalan

[43:18] Oh, yeah.

[43:18] So you're putting them in backwards, too.

[43:20] Okay, great.

[43:21] Yeah.

[43:21] Yeah, that makes sense.

[43:22] Or it says, well, you know, maybe there's a recap previously on pieces of April, back in April.

[43:27] And December, of course, is The Holdovers.

[43:31] Yeah, we did it.

[43:32] I mean, which – if I watched The Holdovers every year at December, I'd be very happy doing that.

[43:38] But I already have a movie I watch every year at December, The Taking of Pelham 123, which I watch on my birthday pretty much every year.

[43:44] Guys, thanks for walking with me through the month on this episode of MILF, Months I Like on Film, a sub-podcast of The Flophouse Podcast.

[43:53] We are, of course, a Maximum Fun Podcast.

[43:57] Please go to MaximumFun.org to try out other Maximum Fun Podcasts.

[44:02] There's a lot of great ones.

[44:04] And maybe even become a member.

[44:06] We would appreciate your pledges monthly.

[44:08] And you'll hear more about that next year during the pledge drive.

[44:11] Our show is produced by Alex Smith.

[44:13] He is available on the internet to hear things from.

[44:16] He's not available to rent under the name Howell Doughty.

[44:20] If you have the cash, who knows?

[44:22] He has a new album out, right?

[44:24] Yeah.

[44:24] What's it called?

[44:26] I Need Help.

[44:27] I Need Help.

[44:28] I Need Some Help, I think.

[44:29] I Need Some Help.

[44:29] Oh, I Need Some Help.

[44:30] And the music without lyrics was used in our Flop TV season two trailer, right?

Dan McCoy

[44:36] Yeah.

[44:36] And also the sizzle reel for the Robocop 2 show I just posted.

Elliott Kalan

[44:40] Oh, exciting.

[44:40] I will share that.

[44:43] Again, Flop TV has returned with season two.

[44:45] Go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com to buy tickets for that.

[44:50] And other than that, thank you so much for listening.

[44:53] We really appreciate your having fun with us today passively.

[44:57] Well, we did all the active work of talking about movies in months.

[45:00] Sure.

[45:00] The heavy lifting.

[45:01] Yeah.

[45:02] You got to do the easy part.

[45:03] Yeah.

[45:04] You're very welcome.

[45:05] Next time, maybe chime in a little bit, listener.

[45:07] Yeah.

[45:08] Come on.

[45:08] And until that next time, I am Elliot Kalin.

[45:11] I've been Dan McCoy.

[45:12] And I'm Stuart Wellington.

[45:15] Yeehaw.

[45:16] Bye.

[45:22] Maximum Fun.

Dan McCoy

[45:23] Maximum Fun.

[45:24] A worker-owned network.

[45:25] Of artist-owned shows.

[45:27] Supported.

[45:28] Directly.

[45:28] By you.

FH Mini 112 - Months I Like on Film

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