Episode #434 - Robot in the Family

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Robot in the Family.

[0:04] It's a small vember, what's the opposite of a miracle?

[0:08] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:35] Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:37] I'm Elliott Kaelin.

[0:38] Dan, what do we do on this podcast usually and also today?

[0:41] Wow, we had so much energy before the show and then as soon as the show started, Elliott

[0:45] visibly got tired.

[0:47] I'm just tired of my own name, maybe it's time for a new one, so Flop listeners, write

[0:52] in.

[0:53] It's the Elliott's New Name Contest Prize.

[0:55] I don't think there is one, except maybe that I'll use that new name legally for the rest

[0:59] of my life.

[1:00] I think it's probably that you remembered what we do on this podcast, which is we watch a

[1:03] bad movie and we talk about it and it being small timber slash vember, we watched Robot

[1:10] in the Family, a classic of the smaller bad movie genre.

[1:18] We've been going back a little bit, reaching into the movie archives more frequently than

[1:24] we used to.

[1:25] Yeah, people, this one's got some notoriety, right?

[1:28] This is like a well-known bad movie.

[1:30] We are not the first ones to pick over this one, although I will say, since I first saw

[1:35] this movie at least 22, 23 years ago, that maybe I was on the avant-garde at one point.

[1:42] Yeah, the first time you saw it at the IFC Sandwiches.

[1:48] It was at an IFC Sandwich, yeah, the International Film Club Sandwich.

[1:54] It's not on the level of The Room or Troll 2 or Plan 9 from Outer Space, it's not one

[2:00] of these super well-known as-bad-movies-get, no bad movies, truly.

[2:07] It's also not the level of, say, Slow Bullet, a movie that I might be the only person to

[2:10] have seen, it turns out.

[2:12] Possible.

[2:13] Is there an IMDb or Letterboxd profile for Slow Bullet, Elliot?

[2:17] There is an IMDb profile now, I think.

[2:20] Years ago, I tried to make one and the site rejected it, but I believe there is one now.

[2:24] Yeah, like zap to your head.

[2:25] Spit it up.

[2:26] Yeah.

[2:27] Yeah, I was saying...

[2:28] My computer shocked me.

[2:31] I was saying beforehand, this is the second time I've seen this movie, and Elliot said

[2:35] this is the third time he has seen this.

[2:36] I believe it's the third time.

[2:37] This one used to be one of the favorites of me and my old friend, Eric, who has been on

[2:41] the podcast before, Eric Marceczak.

[2:43] We used to watch a lot of bad movies together when we were young bachelors with nothing

[2:47] but time on our hands, and this was one that we watched at least, I think, twice.

[2:54] You really do have to watch it at least twice to have any semblance of any sense of what's

[2:59] happening.

[3:00] Okay, so that's what I did wrong.

[3:01] Yeah.

[3:02] I didn't just watch it twice.

[3:03] Yeah, yeah.

[3:04] I barely understood.

[3:05] It's a real puzzle box.

[3:06] Yeah, the first time, you're just taking in the sensations.

[3:08] The second time is when you can pick up on the intricately laid plot clues.

[3:12] Well, the plot itself, while stupid and weird, is very simple, but the fact that everyone

[3:19] is constantly talking over one another in this movie, I think it's a big impediment

[3:24] to understanding.

[3:25] Sounds like a podcast, I know.

[3:29] I mean, but this podcast, it's not an annoying person who just makes up stupid songs and

[3:34] comments on nothing.

[3:35] Oh, no.

[3:36] Uh-oh.

[3:37] Well, at least I don't call you guys Mommy and Daddy, like the robot does to the adults

[3:42] in this movie.

[3:43] Yeah.

[3:44] Alex, find the evidence.

[3:46] Get all the receipts.

[3:47] At least you're not calling us Jewish, like this robot is.

[3:50] Yeah, you're right.

[3:51] I'm also not an annoying Jew like the robot in the movie is.

[3:54] Wait a minute.

[3:55] Yeah, speaking of Jewishness, I'm glad that this movie really captures the feel of New

[3:58] York City.

[3:59] Kind of like an Uncut Gems type thing, right?

[4:01] The weird thing about this movie is, okay, so I'll get into the plot in a moment.

[4:05] This movie is, it's nonsensically made.

[4:09] It's thrown together as if they were just trying to, as my old AP psychology professor

[4:14] used to say, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

[4:17] And it feels like this movie is trying to do that by just throwing shit at you constantly.

[4:20] Yes.

[4:21] But also, it is very much shot on location in New York, and specifically a stretch of

[4:26] Broadway that I traveled very often as an NYU student, going from my dorm on 14th Street,

[4:31] and eventually my dorm on 25th Street, down to the NYU campus.

[4:34] And so it's this stretch of antique shops on Broadway that, when I first saw this movie,

[4:38] it was as if I saw someone I knew in a movie.

[4:41] I was excited.

[4:42] I was like, wait, this was all shot in an area I know really well, that I've walked

[4:46] through many times.

[4:47] And so that, it is very strange that it is not a movie where New York becomes a character,

[4:52] and yet in some ways it is, because it's so shot on location.

[4:54] It's so incredibly on location.

[4:55] Yeah, and I'm sure they probably pulled all the necessary permits to film.

[5:00] Oh, you've got to believe it.

[5:01] You've got to believe it, yeah.

[5:02] I thought you were going to say they probably put a sign up that said, you know, Robot and

[5:06] the Family was shot here.

[5:07] Yeah.

[5:08] Joe Pantleato, you know, signs the headshots for everyone.

[5:10] I would love to do that as a prank, just to put a plaque on one of these buildings.

[5:14] Yeah.

[5:15] Yeah, this has stars, people.

[5:18] Joey Pants, John Rhys-Davies.

[5:19] Well, Joey Pants was not yet a star.

[5:21] This is 1994.

[5:23] This is pre, I mean, Joe Pantleato had been in movies, but this is pre The Matrix, Sopranos,

[5:28] Bound, right?

[5:29] But had he been a Turkish-American antique shop owner?

[5:32] I don't think so.

[5:33] Slash inventor.

[5:34] He's an inventor.

[5:35] Slash inventor.

[5:36] Yeah, this is a movie that proves that, oh.

[5:37] The big name in it is John Rhys-Davies, yeah.

[5:39] Oh, yes.

[5:40] Mr. Sliders.

[5:41] Oh, Joey Pants can do a bad performance.

[5:44] It's weird.

[5:45] You know.

[5:46] It's the first time in history.

[5:47] But he really throws himself into it.

[5:48] He throws himself into it.

[5:49] You know.

[5:50] Yeah.

[5:51] In the performances, would you describe the comedy in this movie as broad?

[5:53] I think so.

[5:55] I think I would.

[5:57] I think the comedy and the ethnic characterizations I would describe as broad.

[6:01] Yeah.

[6:02] Okay.

[6:03] So the biggest star in the movie is John Rhys-Davies, who plays the villain.

[6:05] But the second biggest, potentially, at this point in time.

[6:09] So, one of the several people who is credited as playing the robot, Gold Digger, is named

[6:14] Patrick Shanley.

[6:15] And I was going to make a joke that this was John Patrick Shanley, until I looked up on

[6:18] IMDb that other people have also credited John Patrick Shanley as being this Patrick

[6:23] Shanley.

[6:24] So, John Patrick Shanley, if you're listening, because you were brought in by that Wild Mountain

[6:27] Time episode, a movie you wrote and directed, let us know.

[6:30] Were you one of the people inside that very heavy, uncomfortable-looking Gold Digger costume?

[6:34] We have to find out.

[6:35] Yeah.

[6:36] It would be a really cool little piece of trivia for us to uncover.

[6:39] Yeah.

[6:40] It seems unlikely, since this is post-Moonstruck.

[6:41] Right.

[6:42] It would be a downgrade, is what you're saying.

[6:43] It would be a downgrade for someone who was already writing, and also, I believe, directing

[6:48] movies by this point.

[6:49] Yeah.

[6:50] Maybe.

[6:51] But maybe he was doing it for just love of the game, you know?

[6:52] That's true.

[6:53] As part of the local New York film community.

[6:55] Yeah.

[6:56] Possibly.

[6:57] Well, should we talk about what this movie's about, or, Dan, do you want to preview it

[7:00] anyway?

[7:01] No, let's get into it.

[7:02] No, there was something I wanted to bring up, but I think it's more effective later on.

[7:05] So let's talk about it.

[7:06] Okay, you got it.

[7:07] Well, the movie starts with a promise that it cannot fulfill, because one of the production

[7:12] companies is called Amazing Movies.

[7:14] Is this something that we'll copy?

[7:16] Now, how did you guys watch it?

[7:18] Did you guys also watch this movie, a VHS rip that's available on YouTube?

[7:23] I believe that was the only way I could find it, other than going to Eric and watching

[7:26] his VHS copy of it, which I assume he still owns.

[7:29] I don't know that Criterion has put out a disc on this one yet.

[7:34] I mean, in a way, it's an amazing movie.

[7:35] I was amazed by it.

[7:36] I mean, you've got to say, at a certain point, you're like, hey, they made it.

[7:42] It exists.

[7:43] They sure did.

[7:44] They put a lot of energy into it, you know?

[7:46] And there's one, there are a couple of very good shots in it.

[7:49] There's one shot I really love later on, the one where, when the wife is endlessly entertaining

[7:55] the sanitation workers, they don't dig up her septic tank.

[7:58] There's an empty bowl of popcorn in the foreground.

[8:01] Her hand lifts it up to reveal the sanitation workers are still there watching TV, and then

[8:04] she puts down a full bowl of popcorn, blocking them.

[8:06] I'm like, that's a good shot.

[8:08] It reveals a little bit of information.

[8:09] It's progressing a storyline.

[8:11] There's not a lot of those.

[8:12] I mean, there was an effort put into this movie.

[8:16] The robot costume doesn't particularly look good, but it's sort of impressive in its way.

[8:21] It looks built.

[8:22] It looks like someone made it.

[8:23] It's got a lot of lights that go on and off.

[8:25] I like some of the electricity special effects.

[8:28] That's true.

[8:29] Sure, sure, yeah.

[8:30] Classic.

[8:31] There's some great 80s electricity effects.

[8:33] Of course, this movie is from 1994, but they are great 80s effects.

[8:37] Yeah, yep.

[8:38] So it says amazing movie, so we've all agreed it's an amazing movie.

[8:42] There's a little bit of an opening scene.

[8:44] Somewhere vaguely Middle Easterny, some robed figures with their backs to us, probably to

[8:48] hide the fact that they are not actually Middle Eastern people, are worshipping a gold mask

[8:53] in a case.

[8:54] Unlike Joe Pantoliano.

[8:55] Right.

[8:56] They're worshipping a...

[8:57] Doing a sensitive portrayal.

[9:00] Really constantly screaming in an accent portrayal of a Turkish-American immigrant.

[9:05] These figures are worshipping a golden helmet mask, which is immediately stolen.

[9:09] Someone smashes the case and takes it.

[9:11] Uh-oh.

[9:12] Robot in the family.

[9:13] Right, guys?

[9:14] Yep.

[9:15] That makes sense.

[9:16] I like this because it asks a lot of questions.

[9:18] Yeah.

[9:19] The movie's not going to answer them.

[9:21] No, it's right.

[9:22] The movie will answer some of them.

[9:24] Well, I also enjoy that...

[9:25] Well, I wouldn't say I enjoy it.

[9:27] But later on, we find out that apparently this helmet is the reason why there's a strife

[9:32] in the Middle East, which seems to be a, let's say, a wild oversimplification of the issues.

[9:38] Yeah.

[9:39] Yeah, I think so.

[9:40] If only it were that simple.

[9:41] If you're looking at this movie for a nuanced interpretation of the problems in the Middle

[9:46] East, then I think you're barking up the wrong tree.

[9:48] Yeah.

[9:49] Yeah.

[9:50] Barking up the wrong cedar or perhaps olive tree, considering the location.

[9:54] So now we're in New York, we're introduced to Jack Shamir, who's played by Joe Pantoliano.

[10:00] He is an immigrant who I guess eventually revealed is Turkish, right?

[10:05] He is inventing a robot named Gold Digger who he describes as a hero and also a gold

[10:10] detector who will bring him gold.

[10:12] And so Gold Digger has three main characteristics.

[10:14] One, he can detect gold.

[10:18] Two, if he hears someone scream, he immediately calls 911.

[10:21] Three, he constantly babbles in a Jerry Lewis impression, constantly, nonstop talking.

[10:29] Sometimes it's gibberish.

[10:30] Sometimes it's nursery rhymes.

[10:31] And he always calls his inventor Daddy.

[10:34] And it turns out to be, this is actually a dream.

[10:37] It turns out this whole sequence, it's a dream, guys.

[10:39] Because he's actually an antiques dealer who cannot pay his family's bills.

[10:43] As his wife explains while they're waking up in some hilariously dubbed ADR VO.

[10:49] It's supposed to be her dialogue, but it clearly has been added after the fact and does not

[10:52] match anything her mouth is saying.

[10:55] It really set my expectations for the rest of this movie.

[10:59] Well, number one, I didn't realize it was a dream sequence.

[11:02] This is one of many things I will have missed during the course of this movie.

[11:08] Number two, this does bring up one of the things I wanted to talk about in the character

[11:12] of Gold Digger, which is, I can only assume that all of this dialogue-

[11:17] What does he look like, real quick?

[11:19] Gold Digger.

[11:20] Can you describe Gold Digger for me?

[11:22] He looks kind of like if you took one of those wind-up robot toys, but you added a bunch

[11:27] of extraneous sort of like wires and doodads, just sort of like glue them on, and he's gold

[11:33] himself.

[11:34] He has a very boxy body, much like you would expect of a robot that is clearly a costume

[11:39] that goes around a human.

[11:42] But the main thing I wanted to say-

[11:43] He's not like if C-3PO had the boxy shape of an 80s suit, you know?

[11:49] Yeah, yeah.

[11:50] Like if somebody was, if some kids were trying to make a costume for the Tin Man in The Wiz,

[11:56] but the production had to be seen from outer space.

[11:59] Yeah.

[12:00] Yeah, he's a big guy, big gold guy.

[12:05] His face is kind of cool, to be honest.

[12:08] It's not cute or fun, but it is kind of like a sculpture, you know?

[12:14] You know, he got to the end of a sentence five minutes later.

[12:17] What I wondered was, do you think all of his dialogue, like literally all of it, was added

[12:23] later?

[12:24] Like it feels like-

[12:25] Yes, 100,000% yes.

[12:26] It feels like they were just like, okay, now that we have the movie, you just improvise

[12:30] a constant stream of prattle, please.

[12:32] Yes.

[12:33] Certainly there are scenes where his dialogue is describing what's going on, and he kind

[12:37] of interacts with characters, but in a way where it's clear that his dialogue was not

[12:41] being said on set particularly.

[12:45] And because it's not always, I mean, the audio levels are wildly varying because obviously

[12:48] they dubbed in all the robot dialogue.

[12:50] But also the things he says sometimes have information the other characters respond to,

[12:54] very often it's just a stream of describing what's happening, or yeah, hickory dickory

[12:59] dock, that kind of stuff.

[13:02] And while other people are talking frequently, like there's no space for dialogue when Gold

[13:07] Digger is around.

[13:08] This is a movie that believes that, look, you paid for it, it's going to give you the

[13:12] full amount of visual and audio for the runtime, there will be no quiet moments, there will

[13:16] be constant streams of cuts.

[13:19] And also when you're in Gold Digger's point of view, there's little animations down in

[13:22] the corner that are kind of like metaphorical or allegorical descriptions of what's going

[13:27] on, you know, interpretation of what's going on.

[13:29] The movie is really overstimulating you, it's like, this is what it must feel like to be

[13:33] inside of my son's head, since he deals with kind of like sensory stimulation.

[13:37] It's a lot like the new album by the grindcore band Concrete Winds, where it feels like they

[13:42] have compressed every possible amount of music into the tiniest amount of time.

[13:47] You're like, oh, perfect.

[13:49] If I listen very carefully, I can maybe hear a note or a melody, but for the most part,

[13:54] it just sounds like somebody's blasting my face off with a belt sander.

[13:58] Thank you for warning me about something that would make me feel very anxious and unhappy.

[14:03] You were about to listen to that album, right?

[14:05] Yeah, I know.

[14:06] It's like, oh, I'm sick of all these poser death metal bands.

[14:09] I want something that's serious.

[14:12] But the other thing about Gold Digger...

[14:13] It's a great record, by the way, super good.

[14:15] I like this movie.

[14:16] If you're someone, being a robot built in part to find gold, he's very bad at his job.

[14:22] Until the end, most of the time he finds that it's gold, it's not gold.

[14:25] That's true, but he does find gold at the end.

[14:27] I mean, he's not a good robot.

[14:28] He's not good at what he does.

[14:30] He's frequently told, Gold Digger, stay here and guard the car, and then he will wander

[14:33] off allowing a police officer to give the car a ticket, which he responds to by shocking

[14:37] that police officer.

[14:38] That's more than once.

[14:43] This police officer is an interesting character.

[14:46] We'll get to that.

[14:47] He's a real walking cartoon of a character.

[14:51] And I think the same actor, I believe, also plays some of the immigrant and Orthodox Jewish

[14:56] characters that show up in later scenes.

[14:59] I will mention also that the wife is played by Amy Wright, who is an actress who's been

[15:03] in many great things.

[15:05] She's in The Deer Hunter, she's in Breaking Away, she's in Wiseblood, and she was married

[15:10] to Rip Torn for a very long time.

[15:11] And so I just imagine her shooting robots in the village during the day and then going

[15:15] home to Rip Torn.

[15:16] So how was shooting today?

[15:19] Oh, I was yelling at a robot all day.

[15:23] Which is more horrific, being with Gold Digger or Rip Torn?

[15:26] I don't know.

[15:30] So they have, what, five children?

[15:32] They have a lot of children also.

[15:33] They have about five children.

[15:35] He cannot support his family.

[15:36] Their house is enormous.

[15:38] This must be the house of someone who produced the movie or something like that.

[15:42] Because they have this huge house.

[15:43] It looks like a big Long Island house.

[15:45] And the whole time I'm like, no wonder they're in debt.

[15:48] This house is way bigger than they should have, although they do have a lot of kids.

[15:52] And she's like, you have to stop working on your inventions and start working that antique

[15:56] store so you can pay for a family.

[15:57] Then, that night, lightning hits the house.

[16:00] We hear Joe Pantoliano yell out, it's alive!

[16:03] And that morning, he excitedly shows them Gold Digger.

[16:06] This all makes sense.

[16:07] This all tracks.

[16:08] Perhaps it wasn't a dream before, but then it was.

[16:11] The movie, right off the bat, is confusing you with a slightly non-linear narrative.

[16:16] But he shows them Gold Digger, who he says is a home security robot who can also teach

[16:20] the kids.

[16:21] Gold Digger, of course, constantly breaking down, always singing nursery rhymes.

[16:24] He has this Jerry Lewis voice that is very annoying.

[16:27] And it made me wonder, guys, what's your experience with Jerry Lewis's work?

[16:31] What's your opinion of him?

[16:35] I don't write him off entirely because, particularly some, I've seen some early work.

[16:42] I think Artists and Models was one that I thought he was good.

[16:44] Well, that's what I was going to ask you about.

[16:45] Because I recently saw Artists and Models for the first time and I found him insufferable.

[16:48] Oh, I thought...

[16:49] I was offended that Shirley MacLaine had to end up with Jerry Lewis at the end.

[16:53] I was like, she deserves so much better.

[16:55] Come on, look at her.

[16:56] I thought some of the...

[16:57] She's a pixie.

[16:58] She's so charismatic.

[16:59] Come on.

[17:00] Yeah.

[17:01] I mean, it's not my favorite stuff in the movie, but I found him genuinely funny in

[17:05] parts of that.

[17:06] And then, of course, later on, you know, in more dramatic roles, Cave Comedy, that movie

[17:11] that we did for the podcast, we all kind of liked, I forget what it was called, The Trust

[17:15] or something like that.

[17:16] It was some heist movie.

[17:17] Oh, my God, he was in that.

[17:18] He was in something.

[17:19] Yeah.

[17:20] Yeah.

[17:21] Like, he's good in that stuff.

[17:22] He seems like he was an unpleasant man to be around.

[17:24] I don't know.

[17:25] But...

[17:26] He's someone who...

[17:27] Maybe it's because I've listened to a lot of the Gilbert Gottfried podcast, but they

[17:30] talk about him a lot.

[17:31] Yeah.

[17:32] It's just like this...

[17:33] Someone they know was a bad...

[17:34] Was not an easy guy to be around, a very bad guy in a lot of ways, but also that they loved

[17:38] him so much growing up.

[17:39] And I feel like I didn't see his stuff when I was a kid.

[17:41] And maybe by the time I saw it, it was too old, because I just...

[17:43] I find him, for the most part, very insufferable, very hard to deal with, you know?

[17:49] I mean, certainly, the more power he seemed to get over himself, the fewer strictures

[17:54] on him, the less I enjoy any of the things I've seen from him.

[17:58] I do want to see...

[17:59] I want to see if I can see some of those episodes, that two-hour unscripted talk show that he

[18:02] did where they rebuilt an entire theater and all the doorknobs in the building had JL engraved

[18:09] on them.

[18:10] And I think the show lasted like a week.

[18:11] And then they were like, this is not working.

[18:13] Him just for two hours with no plans.

[18:16] Anyway, the point is, Jack is constantly shouting while Gold Digger is constantly talking.

[18:23] And it just really overwhelms you with noise.

[18:25] Gold Digger just wants to play.

[18:27] Jack's wife is understandably annoyed, but his son, Alex, really likes the robot.

[18:31] This is the one child who really is kind of a kid personality.

[18:34] Yeah.

[18:35] Yeah.

[18:36] You'd love having a robot in the family.

[18:37] Kids like Gold Diggers.

[18:38] Yeah.

[18:39] Newsflash we see on TV, though.

[18:40] There is war in the Middle East over the missing sacred helmet of Suleiman, Suleiman.

[18:44] So that's why there's a war there, because nobody...

[18:48] Because everyone's looking for the helmet, I guess, you know?

[18:52] And so it's trouble.

[18:55] So that helmet needs to be found.

[18:57] And we see, I guess these are the guys who, I'm not sure if they're the ones who stole

[19:01] the helmet, but they are two criminals who are essentially mooks.

[19:05] They're essentially like morons.

[19:06] They pulled off a relic heist and they're talking to John Rhys-Davies over the phone.

[19:10] He plays the part of Eli, who is an evil antiques dealer.

[19:14] And is he their neighbor and their neighbor on the same street?

[19:20] His antique store is across the street from theirs or next door.

[19:23] No, it's next door.

[19:24] His antique store is next door to theirs.

[19:25] And he also lives either next door or across the street from them.

[19:28] Okay, that's weird.

[19:29] That's weird, right?

[19:30] It is weird.

[19:31] Especially since he seems to be much more successful than them, and yet lives in the

[19:34] same neighborhood right next door.

[19:36] I mean, I think he probably lives next to them so that he can bedevil them, or maybe

[19:39] it's like a Keeping Up With The Joneses situation where they're just like, that's why they can't

[19:43] afford their home is because they're trying to keep pace with their rival, right?

[19:48] Possibly, possibly.

[19:49] I mean, it makes...

[19:50] He seems so annoyed that he has to live near them that I have to believe it wasn't his

[19:54] choice.

[19:55] He could just walk in the neighborhood and move in and be like, hey, you know, but he's

[19:59] an almost...

[20:00] comically evil antiques dealer, you know, everything about him shows villain.

[20:04] There's a moment at the end where he's dangling them above a pit of molten gold

[20:08] and he's giving this villain speech

[20:12] and I'm like, this is why he took this role. He seems so excited to give this speech.

[20:16] His whole deal, right, is that he's an arms dealer

[20:20] and so he's like, I don't want to...

[20:24] It does come as a surprise much later in the movie when he says that if there's war in the Middle East

[20:28] he helps his arms business. Because up to that point, I think there's been no evidence that he is anything other than

[20:32] an antiques dealer who deals in stolen or counterfeit antiques.

[20:36] He's also a major dealer of armaments internationally is something that

[20:40] kind of comes up as a surprise.

[20:44] The point is, the helmet helps him both ways.

[20:48] I'm not really sure, like you said, the helmet being returned, I'm not sure how that would

[20:52] help cool the tensions because presumably there's a fight over

[20:56] who should have the helmet.

[21:00] And again, this is something that is underserved in the movie, this Middle Eastern subplot.

[21:04] I think it is that the fight starts because the helmet is gone and the countries are

[21:08] arguing over who has it now and who stole it.

[21:12] Maybe they'd come to some sort of a top before and now the fragment piece is broken.

[21:16] It all makes sense, guys.

[21:20] Clockwork.

[21:24] It was in the backseat of Jack's car as he drives into work. It's a solar-powered car

[21:28] but it starts exploding because of the rain, I guess because of all the exposed wiring.

[21:32] And the robot has to push the car to Jack's antique shop.

[21:36] And this guy helps him push the car and he's like, okay, now pay me.

[21:40] And instead, Gold Digger electrocutes him. And then a cop tries to write the car a ticket

[21:44] and Gold Digger attacks him. Let's describe this cop.

[21:48] He looks like one of the VC boys dressed up for a bit.

[21:52] Yes, he does. That's a really good description of him.

[21:56] There's something about him that says to me, this is the kind of

[22:00] cartoonish white guy that would show up in a latter-day Spike Lee movie.

[22:04] I'm not sure whether it was at this point

[22:08] or at a similar point later on where he's also trying to write a ticket for the car.

[22:12] But he's muttering to himself about how many infractions there are and he's like,

[22:16] I'm going to Hawaii. He seems to believe that

[22:20] the more tickets you put out, the higher

[22:24] your pay as a cop. In Eric Adams, New York? Maybe that's the way it works.

[22:28] But it's true. While he's writing it, he's like, I'm going to Hawaii. This is going to be great.

[22:32] As if he's going to personally profit off of this. But of course, he's attacked

[22:36] by a robot which stops him from writing those tickets.

[22:40] And sets his ticket book on fire. Yes, that's right. He also sets his ticket book on fire.

[22:44] So at this point, Gold Digger is a menace essentially

[22:48] in many ways. A rich cowboy comes into the antique store

[22:52] to buy stuff. But he argues with Jack's foreign

[22:56] brother? Isaac's brother or cousin?

[23:00] Who does not speak English. Maybe you say so. I'll believe you. All we know is there's a guy there

[23:04] who does not speak English, does not seem to speak any known language. Just speaks

[23:08] a vaguely offensive, kind of fakely Middle Eastern-y

[23:12] sounding, ah ha ha ha, that kind of stuff. Cartoon language.

[23:16] And I don't know why this is the guy you would have minding the store when you know

[23:20] a big customer is coming in. Jack seems to be just in the bathroom getting his tie

[23:24] and his hair ready through this entire sequence.

[23:28] But the cowboy runs out. Jack runs out, I think

[23:32] to follow him and falls in a manhole which is immediately covered by a plank

[23:36] of wood. Jack eventually follows and falls in the same manhole.

[23:40] They're instantly filthy. And the manhole doesn't lead to the sewer. It just seems to lead to like a

[23:44] two-foot drop full of grime, like essentially. You can't say that

[23:48] a lot of stuff doesn't happen in this movie. No, you cannot say that.

[23:52] Full of stuff. And then they escape only for his brother to be

[23:56] run over by the Texan's automobile. Yes, as the Texan is

[24:00] leaving, having been, so John Rhys-Davies has then stolen the customer

[24:04] and sells him a forged antique. It looks like a Remington statue or something.

[24:08] And yeah, as Isaac gets out of the manhole, he is then

[24:12] hit by the car. This is not followed up. He's not injured the next time

[24:16] we see him. And that cowboy never shows up again.

[24:20] There's a lot of injuries in this film where the character who's been injured

[24:24] is not seen again and you're left to wonder, like, so did they

[24:28] die? Yeah, that's a good question. Are they okay? Like, what's going on?

[24:32] For a family film, ostensibly a family film, I was often

[24:36] disturbed by the level of unresolved violence. So at the end

[24:40] were you hoping there to be some kind of, like, where are they now moment?

[24:44] Yeah, or just to have the camera just pan across a bunch

[24:48] of tombstones with the names of the characters on them. Yeah, yeah.

[24:52] Tombstone, the marvel, the supervillain, right? Yeah, yeah. Tombstone, the

[24:56] villain, the pizza. The crime boss who can only whisper.

[25:00] Yeah, exactly. A DVD of the film.

[25:04] Yeah. A wrestler performing the maneuver.

[25:08] Yeah. So anyway, one of the thieves,

[25:12] these goofy thieves, they're so hilarious, right? He accidentally takes

[25:16] a stolen statue to Jack instead of to Eli

[25:20] and Jack calls the police. But Jack seems

[25:24] crazy when the police get there, though the robot recognizes

[25:28] that Eli's antiques are not real gold and then malfunctions.

[25:32] And the cop understandably leaves at this point, having not

[25:36] to get in the middle of an argument between two antique dealers that involves

[25:40] an annoying robot that is having mechanical problems.

[25:44] So Alex, the son, shows Jack... If it wasn't having mechanical problems,

[25:48] the police would listen very carefully to this annoying robot.

[25:52] Alex, the son, he's like, hey, look at this. There's a two million dollar

[25:56] reward for the statue that was stolen, which is the statue that was brought in by that

[26:00] crook. And Jack's like, oh, well, I know there's a secret passage between the

[26:04] basement of this antique store and Eli's antique store. If he can only find it.

[26:08] They go, they find the passage. For some reason, Gold Digger is with them.

[26:12] So he's just babbling nonsense the entire time. I think he's also,

[26:16] I think Jack's possibly also using a candle instead of a flashlight. I can't remember if that's actually

[26:20] how it happens. Jack sees the statue in Eli's basement

[26:24] and overhears Eli plotting with a henchman. But the henchman takes

[26:28] the statue before Jack can get it. And Jack sees the name Clayhand

[26:32] on a sculpture. And his son finds that name in the phone book. There is

[26:36] a Dr. Clayhand who Jack will have to go undercover

[26:40] to find out the identity of. So listeners at home, I'm sure you've been following along

[26:44] perfectly. There's going to be a little quiz at the end. And

[26:48] I expect that you will all get A pluses on the plot of

[26:52] Robot and the Family, a movie ostensibly for children.

[26:56] Yes, ostensibly for children. Well, we are about to go to the office of Dr.

[27:00] Clayhand, the doctor who seems to only work, just do plaster casts on people.

[27:04] He has a secretary who thinks he's a genius, a genius artist.

[27:08] Jack shows up. Everyone in the office is in elaborate plaster casts.

[27:12] A woman has like a torso cast with very prominent boobs and stuff

[27:16] like that. This is the time where Jack walks in and he has his

[27:20] son with him and he's like, hey, somebody watch my kid. No, that's later.

[27:24] That's when they go to the auction house. And I do find that moment funny when he goes, hey,

[27:28] somebody watch my kid and then just leaves. And Alex then walks out of the room almost instantly.

[27:32] But that's later. That's later. This doctor is also a sculptor. He has a love of

[27:36] helmets. He's obsessed with helmets. But then again, no. Or a man

[27:40] who makes, oh, don't worry about it. I'm sorry. I got distracted by Elton John

[27:44] songs. Oh, OK. Oh, I see. As often happens. He is a sculptor, but then again,

[27:48] no. He's a man who makes potions and a traveling magic show.

[27:52] No, I have the same problem that my brother has with it. And I believe Elliot has expressed the same

[27:56] problem where it's like, hey, man, you're writing the song. Just rewrite the lyric.

[28:00] You've had a change of heart in the middle. Pump the brakes.

[28:04] I used to feel that way about it. But I think now he's expressing an emotional

[28:08] kind of inability to explain himself. And that's why

[28:12] he's written this song. I think it works in the end. As opposed to Elton John's other music

[28:16] that doesn't totally. Doesn't Benny and the Jets have electric boots?

[28:20] Like, what is that all about? Now, that makes perfect sense to me. And a mohair suit.

[28:24] A mohair suit and electric boots. I don't get it.

[28:28] You know, they're rock and roll boots. I mean, I'm still not over the fact.

[28:32] He's a cool rock and roll guy. He's got electric boots. I'm not over the fact that they faked that being a live

[28:36] song when it was not. It was, you know, it's all in the studio made up

[28:40] to sound fake. Oh, man, you hate. Elliot hates being tricked. I don't like it.

[28:44] I don't like being tricked. Also, can I feel the love tonight?

[28:48] Can you explain what it feels like to feel love? Like, you mean just petting love and it's a texture?

[28:52] I don't understand. Elliot, it is where we are. That's how you feel it.

[28:56] It's where we are. I guess what we're saying is Elton John is one of the worst

[29:00] writers of songs. I mean, he's not the lyricist. I know, you're right.

[29:04] He's not the lyricist. This is a Bernie Taupin problem. Yeah, or Tim Rice, I think.

[29:08] Or Tim Rice, yeah. Yeah, anyway.

[29:12] Is Tim Rice related to Anne Rice? Good question.

[29:16] That's a great question. Let's get him on the horn.

[29:20] Shofar? Yes. That's exactly what I mean.

[29:24] Blow into a shofar and see if Tim Rice shows up.

[29:28] I feel like Gold Digger, the robot from this movie, would show up based on how he's coded.

[29:32] Probably. I mean, Dan, you laugh, but that is what happens on the New Year.

[29:36] Which is coming up soon, everybody. So get ready to celebrate it.

[29:40] So the doctor also sculpts. He has a love of helmets. He's obsessed with that Persian helmet.

[29:44] The helmet of Suleiman that was stolen.

[29:48] And Jack is there and he's like, oh yeah, I'm a friend of Eli's. And he pretends that his foot got hurt.

[29:52] And the doctor goes into this long

[29:56] rhapsodic monologue about helmets. He just can't stop talking about it.

[30:00] calls him while Jack is there, and the doctor learns over the phone that Jack's an enemy.

[30:04] He knocks him out, and we're going to see Jack is going to wake up with an enormous

[30:07] plaster foot on his foot. But the robot, meanwhile, is trying to teach Isaac English. He breaks

[30:14] a lamp. Meanwhile, the son is off investigating the basement, finds the secret passage, steals

[30:19] Eli's files, almost gets caught when Eli kills a rat. But the son, Alex, is doing so much

[30:25] more effective work than the hero of our movie, Joe Pantoliano, or the titular robot

[30:30] in the family.

[30:31] Yeah, I mean, well, the robot in the family, this robot causes nothing but chaos everywhere

[30:37] it goes until the very end of the movie where it does one thing right, but the level to

[30:43] which no one does anything about how this robot is a mess is nuts to me. Like, Eli tries

[30:51] to stuff what, a hose in it, so it squirts water out of its neck, and he waters the

[30:56] flowers while he's walking around. I mean, I feel like one person is taking the stand,

[31:02] the villain of the movie.

[31:03] Also, everyone in the movie has one of two reactions to the robot, either panic or no

[31:07] reaction whatsoever, just total acceptance of this annoying robot and most annoyance.

[31:13] Or getting electrocuted by it.

[31:15] Yes, that too, yeah. So the doctor, he puts this enormous plaster foot on Jack's foot.

[31:20] Jack wakes up to find his foot is being fondled by the secretary, the doctor's biggest fan,

[31:24] in a scene straight out of Un Shenandoah, to be honest. Like, that also includes a scene

[31:28] where a woman sexually fondles the sculpture, the foot of a sculpture.

[31:34] And Jack tracks Eli and the doctor to a sauna at an Asian spa that we later see being raided

[31:39] by the police, so it's implied that it is a brothel. Again, it's a kid's movie.

[31:46] And I'm sure that robot and the family, having been great up until this point, will not do

[31:50] anything racially insensitive in this Asian spa.

[31:53] Oh, Dan, I hate to break it to you. I hate to smash those allusions, like gold digger

[31:59] smashing a Tiffany lamp. But no, there are offensive Asian stereotypes. This is always

[32:06] one of the things that makes me sad, because these are real Asian American or Asian actors,

[32:11] and they have to play these characters, you know?

[32:15] That's why Elliot is making a plea. Please, for all your small roles, just get AI digital dudes, you know?

[32:22] No, that's also not what I'm saying.

[32:24] Elliot says this all the time.

[32:26] Not at all what I'm saying. I don't want digital dudes of any kind replacing human actors.

[32:32] You're saying you cast white actors so Asian actors don't have to go through the pain of...

[32:37] Again, I guess what I'm really saying is let's not...

[32:39] Yeah, just get a shillow of Mickey Roonies in there.

[32:42] I'm making a movie with offensive stereotypes. Get me a shillow of Mickey Roonies.

[32:46] Just Mickey Roonies by the shovelful. Bulldoze them in.

[32:49] They're falling off the truck.

[32:51] We don't have enough food to feed all these Mickey Roonies, boss.

[32:54] Okay, who cares? They'll eat each other.

[32:57] Just Mickey Roonies. They're a dime a dozen.

[33:00] That's the great thing is you get a shillow of Mickey Roonies. They play your offensive parts.

[33:05] They die of starvation. You grind them up into dog food.

[33:09] Feed them into the next Mickey Roonies.

[33:12] You pour them into a trough. That's where the Mickey Roonies you're raising eat them.

[33:16] But isn't there a problem with Mickey Roonies eating other Mickey Roonies?

[33:19] Well, some of them might end up with Roonies spongiform.

[33:22] The good news is they can do the maze easier than we taught the old Mickey Roonies.

[33:28] The new Mickey Roonies have some of the memories of the old Mickey Roonies.

[33:32] That's true. They already know their lines. That's the great part.

[33:35] Stuart, our friend John Holt and I, we both told Audrey about this flatworm experiment that we're referencing now.

[33:45] The flatworm experience that Times Square interactive show they used to do?

[33:50] And quite reasonably, Audrey was like, no, you're fucking with me. What are you talking about?

[33:55] This is a real thing. Look it up. Flatworms, mazes.

[33:58] That means the underpinning of Alan Moore's whole run on Swamp Thing.

[34:02] Oh man, what a book.

[34:04] What a book. Anyway, I'm sure someone will find out something bad about him at some point, but it hasn't happened yet.

[34:10] The players say something bad about flatworms and I'm like, no!

[34:13] Yesterday they cancelled flatworms nematodes also.

[34:17] To circle back, to clarify, Elliot is taking a stand against the bad stereotypes.

[34:23] I'm taking a stand against racism.

[34:25] Crazy solutions we're positing.

[34:28] Although the Mickey Roonie one seems pretty good.

[34:32] We can get a shitload of Mickey Roonies.

[34:34] Yeah, fucking Zazzalabs listening to this episode being like, I'm getting some ideas here, folks.

[34:39] I'm making a plea against offensive, excitable Asian stereotypes that just yell and run away.

[34:47] Or Joey Pants then later on also doing bad impressions.

[34:51] So he's in the sauna. He tracks Eli and the doctor there.

[34:54] He overhears them planning about getting the stolen helmet for the doctor in exchange for the doctor sculpting more counterfeit antiques.

[35:02] In order to throw them off the scent, he puts a towel over his head and does some, again,

[35:07] made-up, offensive, Asian-y sounding languages and bowing.

[35:11] Which causes some actual Asian people in there to say, hey, I bet that's the hitman.

[35:16] Oh no, that's the detective who my wife hired to follow me. Let's kill him.

[35:20] And they chase him out in a goofy chase where they're all in towels because it was in a sauna.

[35:25] It's all bad. It's all bad all the time.

[35:28] So Jack shows up at the pier that he heard Eli and the doctor talking about where the helmet is going to be unloaded.

[35:33] Those doofy crooks who are for some reason in drag, that's their disguise, they're in drag.

[35:39] They're looking for the crate the helmet is in.

[35:41] There are two identical crates. One has an X marked on it. One does not.

[35:44] A guard dog chases Jack off the pier into the water, which confuses the crooks so much that they take the wrong crate.

[35:52] Guys, how did you feel about this scene? It made perfect sense, right?

[35:57] There's a lot in sort of the middle area of the movie in particular that just sort of merged into a big pile of shenanigans.

[36:06] Again, this is a challenging work.

[36:10] It raises a lot of questions in you, the viewer, and also in the minds of God as to why these things exist.

[36:17] It does feel at times as if someone was making a Three Stooges movie and was like, why can't all the characters be the Stooges?

[36:25] Why do we need anyone who's not the Stooge?

[36:27] It's just a world full of people running around, getting chased by dogs, making mistakes, putting on silly costumes for no reason.

[36:34] Is this when the Orthodox Jewish man and the Hare Krishna get in a fight in the street?

[36:39] That's a little later.

[36:41] Gold Digger, he's telling gibberish stories to the sleeping children.

[36:44] Then he attacks Jack thinking he's an intruder.

[36:47] The next morning Jack tells Gold Digger to make breakfast.

[36:49] This of course ends up being a huge mess.

[36:53] He puts a TV in the microwave. Very unsafe.

[36:55] Do not do that.

[36:56] Don't put any metal in the microwave, especially not a television, the most sacred of all electronics.

[37:00] He puts a copy of Catcher in the Rye in the toaster, which I think is supposed to be a pun on the word rye, but it's not explained.

[37:08] It just kind of happens.

[37:09] I think it's also like a little wink at the idea of murderers.

[37:14] Oh, maybe.

[37:16] Yeah, Gold Digger is getting something in Catcher in the Rye has activated him.

[37:21] Oh, I see. Yeah, I get it.

[37:23] So in this case, the book is the John Lennon to the toasters.

[37:26] Mark David Chapman, that's what you're saying?

[37:28] Exactly.

[37:29] Thank you.

[37:30] If we were doing an analogy on the SATs, that would be the answer, yes.

[37:33] And the Gold Digger is just babbling the whole time.

[37:35] It's like the movie is daring you to not turn it off at this point.

[37:44] I think that's why there's so many pointless shenanigans at this point.

[37:48] Literally, by this time, everyone's given up so we can just do whatever.

[37:51] Yes.

[37:52] Yeah.

[37:53] The crooks deliver the crate to Eli's house, but it's the wrong even though he has an antique store, it's the wrong crate.

[37:58] And Eli starts strangling them and Gold Digger interrupts the strangling.

[38:02] And so Eli attacks it with a garden hose.

[38:04] As Stuart said, water sprays out of it.

[38:06] Jack has to fix Gold Digger instead of doing what he should have done, which is just let it rust.

[38:11] Just let it rust and rot and become go back to nature, you know, become a ruin.

[38:17] Jack and his son Alex, they go to the auction house where they plan to buy the statue that the helmet is actually in.

[38:24] This is the moment where he goes, hey, someone watch my kid and then just walks off.

[38:28] That's great.

[38:29] Eli shows up there.

[38:31] They have a meeting with the doctor in the bathroom.

[38:34] The doctor, his pants, of course, around his ankles.

[38:37] He's like running around yelling a lot.

[38:40] Yeah, because he tells the doctor the thieves mixed up.

[38:42] He doesn't have the helmet.

[38:43] Instead, it's going to go up for auction.

[38:45] Now they need to buy the statue that the helmet is in.

[38:47] And this is me putting this information together because no one states it that clearly in the movie.

[38:53] Was it listed clearly in the novelization by Alan Dean Foster?

[38:58] I read the Alan Dean Foster novelization.

[39:01] That's how I was able to piece it together.

[39:03] He was working from an earlier version of the script that didn't have Gold Digger's VO slathered on it like a thick layer of mayonnaise or peanut butter.

[39:11] It was called a Digger of Gold when he wrote it.

[39:16] Yeah, Digger of the Gold's Eye.

[39:19] The Gold Digger leaves the car.

[39:22] He scares a Japanese toy robot salesman.

[39:25] Do you think at one point they considered getting somebody like Mark Danielewski to do the novelization and have Gold Digger's lines written in all the margins and between the letters of the other words?

[39:37] His words are written in a different colored ink.

[39:39] So you need to use a black light that comes with it to see the main text without Gold Digger's words laid over it.

[39:45] So experimental.

[39:47] One thing that I noticed here, you can see an NYU flag flying behind Gold Digger in this scene because they shot it.

[39:53] I didn't realize they were a sovereign nation.

[39:55] I was not aware that they had their own.

[39:57] Dan, many universities and other organizations have flags.

[40:00] that they fly outside of their building.

[40:01] Okay.

[40:02] Well, based and also based on how much they've expanded in lower Manhattan, it almost feels

[40:07] like they're their own nation.

[40:08] Yeah, that's true.

[40:09] I mean, they and they have international campuses.

[40:11] So it's like they're colonizing other countries, although I think they've shut some of them

[40:14] down.

[40:15] But for an old NYU alum like me, it was nice to see the purple just flying, flapping in

[40:20] the breeze, establishing itself in this movie.

[40:23] LA had snapped a little salute at home watching.

[40:26] It did.

[40:27] Yeah, I sang our college song, Hail, Hail, NYU, gentrify the world.

[40:34] That's the translation from Latin.

[40:35] Yeah.

[40:36] So the robot, these little robots follow gold digger.

[40:38] And it's implied that they're sent because they have subtitles that say, like, our God

[40:42] is here.

[40:43] You know, our king.

[40:44] Yes.

[40:45] It's great.

[40:46] This is when, for some reason, we see a blind man, a Jew and a Hare Krishna bump into each

[40:49] other and get mad at each other.

[40:52] And the Jew and the Hare Krishna, I don't think ever show up again.

[40:55] It's not like gold digger is even a part of this mix up.

[40:58] The blind guy is mugged by a slime ball and gold digger shocks him and then shocks the

[41:04] blind man who is cured of his blindness just in time to get hit by a truck.

[41:09] That's the second time a character in the movie has has been freed of some encumbrance

[41:12] and then gotten hit by a car and possibly killed.

[41:15] Really worried me because I was like, surely we'll see some sort of indication of whether

[41:19] the band survived this or not.

[41:21] No, no.

[41:22] We can only assume that he was cured of his blindness only to die instantly by trucks.

[41:29] That blind man is played by the same person as who played Isaac.

[41:34] The character's hit by a truck.

[41:35] That person, Jack show, co-writer and a writer and co-director of the film, which makes sense.

[41:41] His performance really shows an understanding of the material, much like Martin Scorsese

[41:45] as the cat is the scary cab driver and a cab passenger and taxi driver.

[41:50] This was a role that had to be played by someone who had a deep inner understanding

[41:53] of the work.

[41:54] Yeah.

[41:55] So I don't know who played the who plays the traffic cop.

[42:01] But I kind of wondered if that was another person who was involved in the in the in the

[42:05] movie.

[42:06] I mean, I assume that other than, you know, the Joey Pants, the wife, John Rhys-Davies,

[42:12] everyone is friends and family of the writers and director.

[42:15] I would think probably, yeah, probably, although like the son, Alex, he's played by a professional

[42:23] actor.

[42:24] That's Danny Gerard.

[42:25] He was in the original Broadway production of Lost in Yonkers, among other things.

[42:29] Did you see that one?

[42:30] No, I didn't.

[42:31] I didn't see that.

[42:32] Unfortunately, no, it was 1991.

[42:35] I wish I would have loved to have seen it, but I think it was a little too young for

[42:37] my grandmother to take me to see that at the time.

[42:40] The so anyway, at the auction, Jack and Eli are in a bidding war with the statue.

[42:48] Jack has either Jack or Alex.

[42:49] I lost track of it, is using kind of some kind of electric device to make other people

[42:53] in the room jump up in the air, which causes the auctioneer to think they're bidding on

[42:58] the statue.

[42:59] And in the end, he ends up winning this reproduction statue that's not worth a lot for one hundred

[43:03] and twenty five thousand dollars.

[43:05] And Jack has his has his eternal catchphrase.

[43:09] My wife is going to kill me, you know, for doing this.

[43:12] And during while the happening this evening, Golddigger again fights the parking cop and

[43:15] terrorizes him until he until he leaves.

[43:19] So Jack wins the statue.

[43:21] He puts it in his car.

[43:23] Golddigger's in his car.

[43:24] Eli steals the car, throws the robot into the street.

[43:27] At this point, Jack calls the police.

[43:29] This is the kind of crime you can report to the police when someone steals your car.

[43:33] Like that is very much that's theft.

[43:35] That's grand theft auto.

[43:36] It's just that's that's a crime.

[43:38] But the police still act as if he's being crazy.

[43:41] You know, he's he's out of his mind by reporting this.

[43:44] Eli, of course, accidentally activates the car's massage robot hands, which strangle

[43:48] him in a malfunction.

[43:50] And this scene kind of doesn't there's no real clear closure to this scene.

[43:54] So we just have to see Eli got away, ditched the car somewhere, I guess, like there's no

[43:58] sort of closure to the scars from watching this film.

[44:01] Exactly.

[44:02] Exactly.

[44:03] Exactly.

[44:04] You know, if you're going to make massage hands in your car, I'd rather just put kind

[44:07] of like things that move around in the back of the seat, as opposed to hands that grab

[44:11] the neck of the driver.

[44:12] That seems like an unsafe way to give someone a massage while they're driving.

[44:15] You know.

[44:16] Good note.

[44:17] Yeah.

[44:18] No, that's a good note.

[44:19] Yeah.

[44:20] I mean, maybe Tesla people.

[44:21] Yeah.

[44:22] So I guess if he had hit a different button, maybe the hands would have given him a hand

[44:25] job while he's driving.

[44:26] Yeah.

[44:27] Yeah.

[44:28] I mean, that's what that's the kind of fantasies that I come up with while watching just while

[44:32] you're driving.

[44:33] Cold metal hands will just wrap themselves around your penis.

[44:36] Yeah.

[44:37] Uncaring.

[44:38] I'm sure there's a very clinical and old issue of heavy metal.

[44:43] You can read that.

[44:44] Yeah.

[44:45] Yeah.

[44:46] Yeah.

[44:47] Sorry.

[44:48] I was like, hmm.

[44:49] I figured something cool.

[44:50] That Japanese artist who does those sexy robots.

[44:51] That's who I just said.

[44:52] Oh, that's what you just said.

[44:53] Yeah.

[44:54] Thank you.

[44:55] I couldn't remember his name at home.

[44:56] Two sanitation workers show up and they're going to dick up their septic tank because

[44:58] I guess they're they haven't paid off the payments on the septic tank.

[45:02] I don't know if it's the thing they do.

[45:03] So they're like repo men.

[45:05] They're repo men for the sanitation company.

[45:07] I have to assume once you use a septic tank, the resale value is nil.

[45:10] Yeah.

[45:11] I write that thing off.

[45:13] I mean, that's probably why these guys are so easily distracted by bowls of popcorn and

[45:18] what TV.

[45:19] Instead, she feeds them a huge meal and eventually we'll see they're playing games with the kids.

[45:23] They watch cartoons eating popcorn.

[45:25] Eventually they fall asleep and just spend the night on the couch at the place.

[45:29] So there's an ongoing sea story, I guess, of her having to entertain these sanitation

[45:34] workers in order to keep them from digging up their septic tank, lowering the home value

[45:40] of everyone in the neighborhood, including Eli, that's only going to make it matter if

[45:43] there's just an open pit full of human waste in the house next door, you know, I mean,

[45:50] I'm not a homeowner, so I don't know as a homeowner, it would lower the it would lower

[45:54] my home considerably if my next door neighbor had an open pit of human waste.

[45:59] Yeah.

[46:00] Most of the time, most of the occasionally you find a buyer who wants that occasionally.

[46:05] Yeah.

[46:06] It's hard to find two to get them into a bidding war for the house that has an open to it.

[46:10] Yeah.

[46:11] Yeah.

[46:12] It's a unicorn situation.

[46:13] Yeah.

[46:14] So.

[46:15] So.

[46:16] So Golddigger has some adventures.

[46:17] He fixes a girl's mechanical dog toy.

[46:18] He plays three.

[46:19] Oh, yeah.

[46:20] Keeps winning.

[46:21] And then electrocute the Monty guys.

[46:22] Yeah, of course.

[46:23] I mean, at this point, like that, some of the stuff I'm like, is this is this before after

[46:27] short circuit to like, what's where we at here?

[46:30] I'll let Dan.

[46:31] Do you want to do some quick Internet?

[46:32] Yeah.

[46:33] I'm going to assume it's on there because it feels like it feels like cribbed Johnny

[46:38] Five stuff that Johnny is also the same year as Forrest Gump.

[46:43] So it almost feels like cribbed Forrest Gump stuff, you know, just for a force.

[46:46] Gump would fucking roll these three card Mounty dealer short circuit to was 1988.

[46:54] So yes.

[46:55] I feel six years.

[46:56] No.

[46:57] OK.

[46:58] And yeah, you can see you can tell like the quality of special effects is so much better

[47:01] here.

[47:02] Yeah.

[47:03] Yeah.

[47:04] You really feel the six years of development for sure.

[47:05] And the racial relations are, if anything, worse than in short circuit to so.

[47:10] So Golddigger hands out flyers at that sleazy spa gets arrested.

[47:14] Nobody is impressed to see a real robot except for this one police officer who's shooting

[47:18] is is his mugshot.

[47:22] Jack talks to Alex, his son, he says.

[47:25] When I came to America, I did this to achieve my dreams.

[47:28] I've been letting my family down.

[47:29] I should really focus on my antique shop instead of building crap robots that are annoying.

[47:35] And Alex goes, no, you're the best dad I could ever have.

[47:38] We got to solve this mystery and and then we'll everything will be OK.

[47:42] And they find the address of the foundry where Eli is going to be that night.

[47:46] And I think this is I know it's later that they find about the reward for the for the

[47:50] helmet.

[47:51] Meanwhile, Golddigger walks through a card car wash was a card wash.

[47:55] He's washing his three card Monte cards.

[47:57] No, it's a car wash.

[47:58] No, that's short circuiting.

[48:00] And the news announces that a robot from space has been wandering around scaring people.

[48:04] Sorry.

[48:05] We just do.

[48:06] I was going to say, if you wash your cards, even if you double sleeve them, they can't

[48:10] you can't put those through the washout.

[48:11] No.

[48:12] That's someone who is constantly finding my.

[48:15] It's so sad.

[48:16] My son, his favorite Pokemon cards, he likes to put them in his pocket and carry them around.

[48:20] And forget they're in his pocket.

[48:21] Those cards go through the wash.

[48:22] They're almost always destroyed.

[48:24] So, yeah, don't put your cards through the wash.

[48:26] Don't put your robots through the wash, either.

[48:27] They'll be like they'll they'll short circuit, much like the movie Short Circuit.

[48:32] What happens is they put them through the wash.

[48:33] That's right.

[48:34] Yeah.

[48:35] And then you become sentient.

[48:36] So, you know, sometimes there's an advantage, depending on what you want.

[48:40] Now, I'm going to say that since cleanliness is next to godliness, that it's that the being

[48:45] newly clean is God touches him and gives him the effect of the.

[48:49] Until now was was man's own purview as as having been created in the image of God.

[48:56] Dolphins, I don't know how they fit into the story, but, you know, they're pretty smart,

[49:00] too.

[49:01] Yeah.

[49:02] More amoral, though, from what I very much so.

[49:04] Very much so.

[49:05] I like to imagine.

[49:06] Yeah.

[49:07] Yeah.

[49:08] Dolphins.

[49:09] I went kayaking once with dolphins.

[49:10] They seem pretty cool, though.

[49:11] They are not.

[49:12] Learn about dolphin sexual habitats.

[49:13] It's rough.

[49:14] It's very rough.

[49:15] Yeah.

[49:16] OK.

[49:17] I guess.

[49:18] Habits.

[49:20] Habits.

[49:21] You get a retreat dolphin studio, 54.

[49:23] Yeah.

[49:24] Yeah.

[49:25] If it if it's a he read just for dolphins.

[49:28] Yeah.

[49:29] Yeah.

[49:30] Oh, why is Sean Puffy combs in the in the Wikipedia?

[49:34] And then too much real life distress.

[49:36] I don't like it.

[49:37] I'm like, let's go from real life R.A.L. to real life.

[49:41] R E L, the life of the characters in robot in the family.

[49:44] Jack, Alex, the bad guys.

[49:46] They all arrive at the foundry.

[49:48] The crooks are disguised as Orthodox Jews for some reason that someone thought was funny.

[49:52] And they sell the stuff to the doctor.

[49:56] Jack gets wrapped up in chains somehow and ends up swinging, screaming from the ceiling.

[50:00] As much dignity as Joe Pants has ever had in any role, I guess.

[50:04] It is pretty wild, yeah.

[50:06] Alex and Isaac are sitting in the truck. Isaac seems to be reading Howard Chaykin comics.

[50:11] I don't know if it's American Flag or not, but over the shoulder it looks like Howard Chaykin's style.

[50:15] An interesting choice for someone who has trouble with English.

[50:18] But, you know, maybe he reads it but doesn't speak it.

[50:21] Alex leaves and goes in. Eventually he's going to end up dangling with his dad over a vat of molten gold

[50:28] that Eli is threatening to drop them into.

[50:30] This is when he reveals the helmet of Suleiman was stolen so he could sell weapons to both sides of the war.

[50:36] He laughs about killing them both as the doctor is breaking open the statue to find the helmet.

[50:43] But he's not finding it.

[50:45] Golddigger shows up and babbles and babbles and does nothing.

[50:49] As Eli is literally tormenting Jack and his son with a flaming stick.

[50:53] He's just poking at them with a stick with flame on it.

[50:56] This is when he has that big soliloquy about his life, his view of life.

[51:02] Yeah, this is like Richard III moment.

[51:04] Yes, exactly.

[51:05] The doctor accidentally burns his hands on something.

[51:08] I don't remember on what.

[51:09] And he screams, which triggers Golddigger's instinct to call 911.

[51:13] Alex yells out the address, which the person on the other line is able to hear somehow.

[51:18] Eli panics. He knows the cops are coming.

[51:20] He ends up melting the statue with the helmet in it to ensure that peace never breaks out in the Middle East.

[51:26] Golddigger is being lowered into the molten gold.

[51:30] He's yelling about how he detects gold, which is like, yeah, thanks, Golddigger.

[51:35] We're being lowered into fucking gold.

[51:37] Thanks for helping us out here.

[51:39] If your gold detector is only operating in situations where everyone knows it's gold, then you may be a bad gold detector.

[51:47] If you only detect gold when you're being lowered into a molten vat of it, you might be Golddigger.

[51:53] Yeah, I mean, I could see the gold, too.

[51:56] Does that make me a gold detector?

[51:58] Well, you're a gold detector.

[52:00] You're a gold detector as well, yeah.

[52:02] If you're busy babbling nursery rhymes when your inventor and his son are about to be killed by John Rhys-Davies, you might be Golddigger.

[52:09] This was some very new humor.

[52:12] Jeff Fox really didn't go down that road for long.

[52:14] Then someone was like, why don't you talk about something more universal like being a redneck instead of being the robot from this one movie?

[52:19] All right, I'll try it.

[52:21] He's like blue-collar comedy tour.

[52:23] Why not gold-collar comedy tour?

[52:26] I have too much artistic integrity.

[52:28] I only care about jokes about Golddigger, the star of Robot and the Family.

[52:33] Yep, and so the police show up.

[52:35] They save everybody.

[52:37] I was going to say they shave everybody, which in this movie, why not?

[52:41] Oh, and Golddigger, he's being lowered into molten gold, but he recharges in time to shock Eli, saving them.

[52:46] Jack assumes Eli destroyed the evidence.

[52:49] Golddigger picks up the head of the statue that the helmet had been stolen, and he keeps going, gold, daddy.

[52:54] I found gold, and Jack's like, yeah, yeah, gold, yeah, you're an idiot, yeah.

[52:59] Now, I got to say—

[53:01] Wait, wait, I'll say when this scene ends, we see Eli and the doctor still alive but covered in plaster and frozen in place.

[53:07] And Eli is muttering something about killing the doctor or killing somebody.

[53:12] And so you have to assume they're dead after this, right?

[53:14] The only way to break them out is to hit them with a sledgehammer.

[53:17] Yeah, they'll just shatter.

[53:19] I mean, look, I know that Golddigger is the robot who cried gold at this point in the story.

[53:26] I understand why you're a little dubious about it.

[53:29] But the way that they keep dismissing him when he's like, gold, I found gold.

[53:34] When they know that there might be gold hidden in a statue, like, it's baffling to me.

[53:40] They're like, no, that's just plaster.

[53:42] Like, break the fucking plaster, dude.

[53:44] Check it out.

[53:45] You make a very good point because up until now, the characters have been calm, cool, rational, logical, always looking at the clues and always putting them together.

[53:54] Like, up until now, they've been great mouse detectives.

[53:56] And here's where things seem to fall apart.

[53:58] So you're right.

[53:59] You're right to point out the logic of it.

[54:01] This is a big plot hole right here, yeah.

[54:03] Put it in the goofs.

[54:04] Yeah, put it in the goofs.

[54:06] No, but you're right.

[54:07] But they'll be like, no, don't worry.

[54:09] They get home.

[54:10] The family is together.

[54:11] The sewer guys are still there.

[54:13] A creepy old man shows up at the house.

[54:15] He is the guy from the bank.

[54:17] And this guy, this is a last-minute movie, almost saves itself for me because I love how openly evil this guy is.

[54:25] Yeah, like a guy from a needful things shop just showed up.

[54:29] It feels as if someone is putting on a community production of Phantasm, and this is the guy who's playing Angus Grimm.

[54:35] And they're like good enough, great.

[54:39] He says he's there to repossess everything in exactly two minutes.

[54:44] He's given them two minutes to find the money to pay off the loan.

[54:48] And Gold Digger is like, gold, daddy.

[54:50] I found gold.

[54:51] This really unnerves the banker.

[54:53] This is a proper response.

[54:55] Meanwhile, his henchman who's just a guy in a suit with sunglasses, I guess it's his driver, is starting the repossession process with the kids' toys and chaining them up.

[55:04] And it's pretty funny.

[55:07] And so Gold Digger drops the head, revealing the helmet of Suleiman inside.

[55:11] Alex goes, I heard on TV there's a $50 million reward for it.

[55:14] Everyone cheers.

[55:16] The banker drives away, leaving all the toys that they're repossessing.

[55:19] You got to assume he shook his fist to the heavens that he didn't get to do his favorite thing, which is to take a house from a family.

[55:25] It's not like they have the $50 million right then.

[55:28] I would argue that this evil banker probably would just keep going forward with the repossession.

[55:33] All right, call me when you have the money.

[55:34] Call me when you bring it to whatever country is at war right now and you get the reward.

[55:37] And over the credits, we hear audio of Gold Digger calling 911 to report they found the helmet.

[55:43] And the person at 911 thinks it's a prank call.

[55:46] It's very unfunny.

[55:47] And much like the rest of the movie, it leaves us with a icky stomach and a bad taste in our mouth and a confused head.

[55:55] Because it's like, wait, so are they going to get the reward money or not?

[55:58] And also, why was Gold Digger tasked with making this call?

[56:02] I know that he has a direct line to 911, but, like, why not have the wife who speaks English the best of anyone in the movie and is not a person?

[56:11] An excitable babbling idiot.

[56:14] Not a babbling robot or a guy who frequently falls into manhole covers.

[56:19] You can correct me here, guys, but when we're talking about, like, a sovereign nation or multiple sovereign nations are offering a reward for this missing artifact, do you just call your local 911 to redeem that?

[56:34] Very good question.

[56:35] You probably call, like, the consulate of one of those countries or something.

[56:38] But again, it's a robot in the family.

[56:41] And so Robot in the Family leaves us as it found us, baffled, questioning, unsure of the world, and ready for more adventures of Gold Digger.

[56:51] But I'm sorry, guys.

[56:52] There were no sequels.

[56:53] There's no Robot in the Family 2 out of the family.

[56:55] I mean now that they're Beetlejuice Beetlejuicing.

[56:58] That's right.

[56:59] You're right.

[57:00] They can do it with Beetlejuice, a hit big budget film.

[57:03] They can easily do it with Robot in the Family.

[57:05] I mean it's right there.

[57:07] Robots in the Family, huh?

[57:09] Yeah.

[57:10] It's supposed to be Robot in the Families.

[57:11] The husband and wife have gotten divorced and they have to share custody of Gold Digger.

[57:14] Yeah, that actually makes sense.

[57:17] Okay, let's do our final.

[57:19] Now I'm mentioning James Cameron goes into the meeting, and he writes Robot in the Family and then changes it to Robots in the Family.

[57:25] And the executives are like, that's not the movie we asked you to do a sequel to.

[57:29] Like we heard you do a sequel to Alien.

[57:31] Oh, well, then that same thing but what I just did for Robots, I do it for Aliens.

[57:35] Yeah.

[57:36] This is our final judgment segment where we decide is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie we kind of like.

[57:44] Here's my feelings on Robot in the Family.

[57:47] Watching it alone, this was the longest 84 or 85 minutes I've ever spent.

[57:55] And you had major surgery, right?

[57:58] Sure.

[57:59] And it just is a cacophony of nonsense.

[58:05] It is irritating.

[58:08] It is constant oppressive.

[58:10] But so I say bad bad in those situations.

[58:14] If you enjoy if you get sort of a cruel joy out of making other people watch a bad movie, this might be a fun one to inflict on a bad movie party.

[58:25] Yes.

[58:26] Because if you can stand it, if you can sample a little bit and you don't immediately have a seizure, this might be something funny to show other people.

[58:34] Yeah.

[58:35] It's like the movie equivalent of an episode of The Hot Ones where you're like, oh, you like bad movies.

[58:40] Yeah.

[58:41] So that's my take.

[58:42] What do you think, Stuart?

[58:43] Yeah, I think you're right.

[58:44] I mean, I think this is a I would say this is a solid what good bad movie.

[58:52] That's what we do.

[58:54] That's what we do.

[58:55] That you should show.

[58:56] For 17 years now.

[58:58] It's wild.

[58:59] Like, it is a wild experience.

[59:01] It is constant.

[59:02] There's no like there's no moment where you're like, oh, this is like a normal movie.

[59:07] Like, oh, this is a touchstone.

[59:09] This is I can I know what this movie there's no grounding moments in the whole movie.

[59:15] It is just constant, implacable, unflinching madness.

[59:22] Badness.

[59:23] You never have your footing watching this movie.

[59:25] You're always in deep water trying desperately not to get your head below the waves.

[59:29] But I agree.

[59:30] I think if you are watching a group of people who enjoy the the unique pain that comes with watching a bad movie, then then this is the one to watch.

[59:38] I mean, if only because you can watch it and then look up the cast afterwards.

[59:42] These are I mean, a lot aside.

[59:44] It's the cast is either the guy.

[59:46] It's either the people who wrote the movie or it is real actors.

[59:51] Like I forgot to mention that.

[59:52] So Dr.

[59:53] Clay hands.

[59:54] That's Peter Maloney.

[59:55] He was in The Thing.

[59:56] He's in he's in a number of great movies.

[59:58] He's in Desperately Seeking Susan.

[1:00:00] and he's a hi mom like and greetings like he's it he's like there's so many people in this that are

[1:00:06] either actors with really good filmographies or part or actors who are part of the

[1:00:11] like new york independent film scene and so it's a it's you just have to think about like how did

[1:00:18] this movie how did this happen like how did this thing happen and uh and what was it meant to be

[1:00:22] and so it's a yeah i think it's a worthwhile if you're with a group of people and you want to be

[1:00:27] like uh like good bad movie you know uh you just have to be ready for just non-stop offensive

[1:00:34] ethnic stereotypes yes that is the one yeah big caveat about this guys can you promise me i never

[1:00:41] have to watch robot in the family again i mean i can't make that promise i can't make that promise

[1:00:46] uh that i can promise you that i won't make you watch robot okay thank you i appreciate that that's

[1:00:52] i don't know what i'm not going to make that promise i'm like okay i might need to torture

[1:00:56] you at some point in the future and that's you know you have to get now i know now i know your

[1:01:01] weakness to get the location of the bomb that's fair that's fair so i want to mention so wait

[1:01:08] just about this this actor peter mahoney peter maloney and he plays doctors in so many different

[1:01:12] movies and so he's like he's a doctor in manhunter he's a doctor in uh in requiem for a dream and

[1:01:19] just the i love now i want to imagine they're all the same doctor as the one in robot in the family

[1:01:23] yeah jackie cashen hi and welcome to the maximum fun.org podcast the jackie and lauren show where

[1:01:33] we talk about stand-up comedy and how much we love it and how much it enrages us we have a lot

[1:01:38] of experience and a lot of stories and uh a lot of time on our hands so uh check us out it's one

[1:01:44] hour a week and we drop it every wednesday on maximafun.org the following is a promo for beef

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[1:04:45] all different types of meals not just dinner but it covers things like dessert and breakfast etc

[1:04:50] and uh yeah and if you're a person who has uh needs a very specific caloric intake in your day

[1:04:58] maybe you work out all the time and you're a maniac uh they can help you with that stuff too

[1:05:02] all that information is available so why don't you head over to factor meals.com

[1:05:08] slash flop 50 and use code flop 50 that's f l o p 5 0 to get 50 off your first box plus 20 off

[1:05:21] your next month that's code flop 50 at factor meals dot com slash flop 50 to get 50 off your

[1:05:30] first box plus 20 off your next month while your subscription is active and i believe we

[1:05:37] have a jumbotron we do have a jjjjjjjj jumbotron jjjjjj jjjjjj jjjjj jumbotron

[1:05:46] jjjjjjj jjjjj jjjjj jjjjjj jjjjj jjjjjj jjjjjjj jjjjjjj jjjjjjj jjjjjjj jjjjjjj

[1:05:48] this message is from patrick flynn someone dan and i have podcasted with before um it's

[1:05:54] been out at the same time uh and he says do you like comedies do you like thrillers do you like

[1:06:00] the feeling that you're adulting wrong and nothing you ever do is good enough sure we all do the

[1:06:04] fervorizing of coral is a new comedy thriller short film about new parents sleep training their

[1:06:09] infant who find their worst fears and anxieties crying out to them through the baby monitor

[1:06:14] need more how about the voice talents of one clint mcelroy and comedian najeen farzad

[1:06:19] join our seed and spark campaign now and help this film get made so go to link tr.ee

[1:06:26] slash fever rising movie for all our social media and fundraising info and to be clear the title of

[1:06:32] it is the fervorizing of coral but it appears the link has a typo in it sorry patrick to point this

[1:06:37] out to you but it says link tr.ee slash f e b e r i z i n g m o v i e sounds good and uh i believe

[1:06:49] we're still doing flop tv if if i'm not mistaken and will be for some time yes that's right dan

[1:06:55] you're not mistaken for once in your misbegotten life we are doing flop tv in fact we've just

[1:06:59] started season two let's promote some of our own stuff flop tv season two has started and it

[1:07:04] continues a week after this episode is released we'll be releasing episode two live on october

[1:07:11] 5th saturday at 9 p.m eastern 6 p.m pacific and we're going to be talking about break into electric

[1:07:18] boogaloo that's right it's all sequels this season and we're going to the sequel whose subtitle is

[1:07:24] known the world round even to people who haven't seen it and don't know that break-in was a movie

[1:07:29] but they don't use a break into electric boogaloo it's going to be super fun i i'm i'm i the first

[1:07:35] episode that we did about robocop 2 was just really fun if you go to theflophouse.simpletix.com

[1:07:42] that's t-i-x for ticks you will find links to buy tickets and season passes and if you buy a season

[1:07:48] pass even if you miss that robocop 2 show you got access to the recording the recordings of all these

[1:07:54] shows are going to be up through the end of february the last month of the season and so it's

[1:08:00] really worth getting that season pass even if you missed the episodes but don't miss the next one

[1:08:05] we're going to be live on your computer screen october 5th 9 p.m eastern 6 p.m pacific flop tv

[1:08:11] season two talking break into electric boogaloo uh who's doing the summary for this one i'm doing

[1:08:17] the summary for this one i've seen this uh movie a couple times and i gotta admit i've never seen

[1:08:22] the original breaking despite uh spoiler alert enjoying break in two i've never gone back to see

[1:08:28] break in because i think it is that i think it is that famous subtitle you're like well there's an

[1:08:33] electric boogaloo in this one why would i have regular break-in if i could have an electric

[1:08:38] boogaloo that sounds exciting i've seen the movie twice i'm not really sure what that means but i

[1:08:41] love it i'm electric the funny thing is well the guy boogaloo who's in i think he's in the first

[1:08:45] movie too all right well we're yeah i'll don't worry guys i'll i think it's my responsibility

[1:08:51] to catch everybody up before we do the episode okay he's electric boogaloo you haven't seen it

[1:09:01] it's electric boogaloo boogaloo uh so go to flop so go to theflophouse.simpletix.com

[1:09:08] should we move on to uh letters from listeners so guys uh do you prefer do you prefer the

[1:09:14] electric slide to the cha-cha slide or to cotton-eye joe what's your favorite of the

[1:09:19] cotton-eye joe is a hard last hard yeah same here i just don't want to hear this long

[1:09:24] no uh chicken dance what about chicken dance uh you know i'm just trying to figure i'm planning

[1:09:31] a wedding reception i want you guys to get out and dance i'm just trying to figure out what's

[1:09:35] going to get you to get your bodies moving this is your side business but i don't like the chicken

[1:09:40] part of it i like the i like that part i don't like the part where you're actually going you

[1:09:48] got to do all the moves yeah because my my my wedding reception playlist is just uh promiscuous

[1:09:54] by nelly furtado featuring timbaland and that's it and i just i need more songs i was saying

[1:10:00] Well, what about Maneater by Nelly Furtado,

[1:10:02] produced by Timbaland?

[1:10:03] Okay, yeah, Maneater, okay, yeah, I mean,

[1:10:06] it'll be easy to find it in my catalog.

[1:10:08] I was telling Audrey recently,

[1:10:09] the first time I saw the cha-cha slide

[1:10:15] was during my brief period in Savannah, Georgia,

[1:10:17] working in a gift shop for a riverboat tour company,

[1:10:23] and they were like, oh, you should take

[1:10:25] the riverboat tour as part of your onboarding,

[1:10:27] so you know what that is.

[1:10:28] And I went on it, and there were people doing this thing,

[1:10:31] and I was like, did I miss something?

[1:10:34] They all know this dance.

[1:10:35] And Audrey was making fun of me,

[1:10:36] because she's like, the lyrics tell you

[1:10:38] what's in the dance.

[1:10:38] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[1:10:39] But they don't really.

[1:10:41] There are moves in there that I'm like,

[1:10:43] I don't know what cha-cha real smooth or whatever.

[1:10:46] Cha-cha real smooth, not Charlie Brown, yeah.

[1:10:48] Yeah, that doesn't mean anything to me

[1:10:51] that I can translate into movement,

[1:10:53] but everyone seemed to know it.

[1:10:54] And I was like, oh, man, I missed a day at school

[1:10:56] or something, I don't know what's going on.

[1:10:59] Anyway, so that was Tales From My Past.

[1:11:03] And now let's move on to another popular segment.

[1:11:05] Don't worry, everybody.

[1:11:06] Since then, Dan knows the cha-cha slide super good.

[1:11:09] Invite him to your wedding reception.

[1:11:11] He'll tear it up.

[1:11:11] He's just like Napoleon Dynamite.

[1:11:12] He's just practicing in front of his mirror every day, yeah.

[1:11:16] Let's answer some letters from listeners.

[1:11:18] Dan, is that what you're gonna do?

[1:11:20] I know you're speaking at a Harris Walls fundraiser.

[1:11:23] Is that what you're gonna do?

[1:11:24] You're just gonna get up and dance

[1:11:25] just like Napoleon Dynamite does for Pedro?

[1:11:28] Yeah, you're gonna do that?

[1:11:29] I got dance in my blood, I gotta do it.

[1:11:32] No, no, no, you have Dan's in your blood.

[1:11:34] There's lots of little Dan's

[1:11:36] that are floating through your body.

[1:11:37] That's how it works, that's how it works.

[1:11:39] This letter's from Scott, last name withheld.

[1:11:42] Who writes, not much to comment

[1:11:44] other than I'm a long-term fan.

[1:11:45] You might say this is more of a question than a comment.

[1:11:48] All right.

[1:11:50] I'm a huge fan of Jordan Peele's Nope,

[1:11:52] but there's some ADR in it that personally annoys me.

[1:11:55] It doesn't ruin the movie or anything,

[1:11:56] but I'm irritated by how unnecessary I find it.

[1:12:00] Is it the moment when someone just off-camera goes, nope?

[1:12:03] Well, Scott does not oddly specify what the ADR is.

[1:12:09] Well, what he's trying to do, this is clever, guys.

[1:12:12] This is some street-level marketing

[1:12:13] where he's trying to get people to go and watch Nope again

[1:12:17] so that they will find that part.

[1:12:20] It's clever, you almost tricked me,

[1:12:22] but I would watch that movie anyway, because it's great.

[1:12:24] Yeah, the last name withheld is Peele, actually.

[1:12:26] He's irritated by it, though.

[1:12:31] And there's a moment in Goodfellas,

[1:12:32] now here he clarifies,

[1:12:33] the bye-bye asshole cop at the very end,

[1:12:36] which is probably an even pettier nitpick.

[1:12:39] Anyway, is there any ADR you can recall

[1:12:42] that you turn your nose up at,

[1:12:44] even if it's not all that egregious?

[1:12:46] Scott, last name withheld.

[1:12:49] I'm gonna do the opposite.

[1:12:51] I'm gonna say one of my favorite bits of ADR,

[1:12:54] I think it's from the first Fast and Furious,

[1:12:57] when we have our first street race,

[1:12:59] and some guy is upset

[1:13:00] that these cars are racing through the streets,

[1:13:02] and he goes, goddamn street racers!

[1:13:05] I love it, because it's such a summary

[1:13:08] of what this movie is.

[1:13:09] Yeah, I mean, I apologize

[1:13:12] that I don't have a specific answer

[1:13:15] that has lodged in my brain,

[1:13:17] but I do think ADR is often very funny,

[1:13:19] and I think it's funny

[1:13:20] that, to me, it falls into three categories.

[1:13:25] Number one, it is the sort of stuff

[1:13:28] that I think it was Patton Oswalt

[1:13:29] will talk about being hired to do

[1:13:33] on an animated movie,

[1:13:34] where they're like, we just need more jokes.

[1:13:35] If some character's back's turned,

[1:13:37] think of a joke to throw in there.

[1:13:38] So there's terrible, not-that-funny extra jokes

[1:13:42] that have been added to beef something up.

[1:13:44] There is the ADR that is there

[1:13:46] to explain something that is already clear,

[1:13:49] but someone along the line was like,

[1:13:51] we need to clarify this.

[1:13:53] So it's like, oh, here we are here,

[1:13:54] you know, like sort of ADR.

[1:13:56] That's the guy.

[1:13:57] Yeah, and then there's kind of my favorite ADR,

[1:13:59] which is someone along the line was like,

[1:14:02] I don't know, the scene seems to be missing something,

[1:14:05] so they just need more noise.

[1:14:07] Like, someone was like, hey, what's that guy doing?

[1:14:10] You know, kind of ADR.

[1:14:12] But is there anything more specific

[1:14:13] that lodges in your brain?

[1:14:14] Well, I think, so you left out one kind of ADR,

[1:14:17] which I do want to talk about,

[1:14:18] but it is, Dan did an amazing job

[1:14:21] of theming this letter to the movie today,

[1:14:23] because the movie today is,

[1:14:24] it opens with such a huge amount of terrible ADR dialogue.

[1:14:29] That's just, again, it's like they put a coat of paint

[1:14:31] over something in the hopes that it would seem real,

[1:14:34] but it just feels like-

[1:14:35] And maybe we should say-

[1:14:36] It's just tossed onto it.

[1:14:38] Additional dialogue recording.

[1:14:39] That's what-

[1:14:40] ADR is when they add more dialogue later.

[1:14:42] But the other kind you haven't talked about really

[1:14:44] is when they have to take something out,

[1:14:47] usually a swear, and they record a new version.

[1:14:50] And so like-

[1:14:50] Oh, yeah.

[1:14:51] When I was a kid, we used to watch

[1:14:53] Ferris Bueller's Day off a lot,

[1:14:54] but we had the taped-off-of-network-television

[1:14:57] version of it that my parents had taped off TV.

[1:15:00] And so there were all these,

[1:15:01] so me and my sister and my brother,

[1:15:02] we would repeat lines to each other from it.

[1:15:04] They'd go, Cameron is so tight

[1:15:06] that if you stuck a piece of coal in his fist,

[1:15:09] in one week, you would have a diamond.

[1:15:11] And of course, in the original, it's up his ass.

[1:15:13] Or when he's, when Alan Ruck is pretending

[1:15:17] to be the police sergeant on the phone or whatever,

[1:15:19] he goes, pardon my French, but you, sir, are a moron.

[1:15:23] And we just always thought those were very funny.

[1:15:25] So that's one that I'll take with me

[1:15:27] for the rest of my life, is those ones, yeah.

[1:15:29] It's like the coming to America

[1:15:31] where everybody's yelling at him

[1:15:33] when he's on the balcony, and they're like,

[1:15:34] hey, buddy, forget you!

[1:15:36] And he's like, forget you too!

[1:15:38] It's great.

[1:15:40] This is from Tim, last name withheld.

[1:15:43] Who writes-

[1:15:43] Tim, the tool man, Taylor, a fictional character

[1:15:45] made by Tim Allen.

[1:15:47] Dear floppers, I need to hypercharge my washing machine.

[1:15:51] All the 90s kids will get that reference.

[1:15:55] Tim actually writes, dear floppers-

[1:15:56] Something only 90s kids remember, shows from the 90s.

[1:16:00] Yes, I'm finally writing in.

[1:16:02] You know, me, the handsome Brooklyn playboy

[1:16:04] that no doubt caught your collective eye

[1:16:06] while Griffin Newman was explaining

[1:16:07] about Garbage Pail Kids.

[1:16:09] I've been doing the unthinkable

[1:16:10] and listening to your oldest episodes,

[1:16:12] and some of the humor is really offensive to me.

[1:16:15] Specifically, the mockery of the wonderful website,

[1:16:17] Aquafan.com.

[1:16:20] I'm writing to inform you.

[1:16:21] This really is a blast from the past.

[1:16:25] Now, I'm Obi-Wan.

[1:16:26] That's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

[1:16:29] At the start of this letter, I started getting nervous.

[1:16:31] I'm like packing up everything.

[1:16:32] I'm like, oh, I'm canceled finally.

[1:16:33] Time to get out of here.

[1:16:35] I'm like, okay.

[1:16:36] Somebody found all the bad stuff I said.

[1:16:38] Why did you leave so much stuff in my house

[1:16:41] that you have to pack up?

[1:16:42] I know, because I got to fit it all in my bindle

[1:16:45] so I can ride the rails for the rest of my days.

[1:16:47] Luckily, you've got one

[1:16:48] of those Mary Poppins carpet bags

[1:16:49] where it just is an infinitely big inside,

[1:16:52] so you can put all this stuff in, yeah.

[1:16:54] Well, Tim continues.

[1:16:55] I'm writing to inform you that there's been a development

[1:16:57] on the Aquafan.com front.

[1:17:00] Oh, cool, okay.

[1:17:01] The site, once infamous for advertising itself

[1:17:03] as the premier site for underwater sex aficionados

[1:17:06] and fishing for underwater sex experiences

[1:17:09] in its one and only post, has been shut down.

[1:17:12] Another star that shone too bright, too hot, too fast.

[1:17:16] The website now reads,

[1:17:18] Aquafan used to be one of the oldest

[1:17:20] and most original underwater porn sites.

[1:17:23] We featured tons of scenes

[1:17:25] of the hottest underwater sex videos

[1:17:27] and erotic girls swimming in the water.

[1:17:30] Unfortunately, that site no longer exists

[1:17:32] as there was a lack of interest

[1:17:33] from underwater porn lovers in that product.

[1:17:37] It's a fucking shame.

[1:17:40] So in the meantime, we suggest-

[1:17:41] Blame the customer, that's the issue here.

[1:17:44] So in the meantime, we suggest checking out

[1:17:46] some of these great sites we've been working on

[1:17:48] that we think you will definitely enjoy.

[1:17:51] It then links to a variety of grownup websites

[1:17:53] that Dan will likely recognize.

[1:17:55] Best wishes, Tim, last name withheld.

[1:17:57] Like a higher balloon fan?

[1:17:59] Did we get tricked into a Jumbotron?

[1:18:02] Yeah, Tim bought Aquafan from the previous owners.

[1:18:05] Yeah, and it links to what?

[1:18:07] Wifespots.blogspot.com, that's a Dan-approved site.

[1:18:13] One of the many.

[1:18:15] Yeah, it's funny that this victim-blaming,

[1:18:19] not victim, this customer-blaming Aquafan post

[1:18:24] claims that Aquafan used to be filled

[1:18:26] with all this aqua porn,

[1:18:30] because as we recall, it just had the one post

[1:18:32] asking whether anyone had ever tried underwater sex.

[1:18:35] Yeah, I mean, that was years and years ago.

[1:18:38] Maybe it evolved into something else.

[1:18:40] I don't know, it could have been easily converted

[1:18:43] into an Aquafina fan site at some point.

[1:18:46] Easily.

[1:18:47] But they didn't do that.

[1:18:48] But what I like is that site has now become

[1:18:53] like when I watch an old Looney Tunes cartoon,

[1:18:55] and there's a reference to some famous person

[1:18:58] that nobody has thought about in 60 years,

[1:19:00] it's like now we have one of those in our own podcast,

[1:19:03] and it's this reference

[1:19:04] to this underwater sex fetish fan site, yeah.

[1:19:09] Let us move on to our final segment.

[1:19:11] I'll be sure to tell this story to my kids

[1:19:12] when they ask me again why I'm not letting them

[1:19:14] be a guest on the podcast at the moment.

[1:19:17] Our final segment on the show is when we recommend movies

[1:19:20] that won't grate on your nerves constantly

[1:19:23] in the way that, say, Robot and the Family might.

[1:19:26] You know what I'm gonna recommend.

[1:19:28] True, true.

[1:19:29] I'm gonna recommend a movie from 1981.

[1:19:32] I saw a screening of it recently.

[1:19:36] It's a Fulci picture.

[1:19:37] It's called The House by the Cemetery.

[1:19:40] Miss Economy?

[1:19:41] I watched it with some friends,

[1:19:46] and afterward, my friend Tom turned to me

[1:19:50] and said literally the same thought

[1:19:52] that I had been thinking throughout the movie,

[1:19:54] which was this movie is like if Edgar Wright's

[1:19:58] Don't trailer was made into a.

[1:20:00] like it actually existed as a full movie because it had sort of like that similar vibe of like I

[1:20:04] don't know why all of these elements coexist in this one film or how they do and there was like

[1:20:10] sort of weird jump cuts just like a scene where a man like stabs a bat that's on the back of his

[1:20:15] hand and it cuts quickly to him and his wife having a romantic moment seemingly none the worse for

[1:20:22] where um which was delightful but it's also a movie that for all sort of the silliness of it

[1:20:31] has some moments of real tension and one moment where I like yelped embarrassingly loudly in the

[1:20:38] theater it's been a long time since a horror movie actually elicited that kind of response from me

[1:20:43] but the house by the cemetery from 81 did I did a big scaredy cat yell in the middle of screening

[1:20:52] and uh I had a great time watching it so that's what I recommend I'm going to recommend a cute

[1:20:57] little rom-com called Rye Lane that came out I think like a year ago um it follows two singles

[1:21:06] uh two young singles Dom and Yaz who are both uh getting over recent breakups and uh it mainly

[1:21:14] focuses on a single day where the two of them end up spending the day together and kind of

[1:21:19] working through their uh various relationships and things like that it uh in some ways it has

[1:21:24] structurally it has some things in common with something like you know like the before trilogy

[1:21:29] by Richard Linklater um but it is uh they there's a lot of fun style choices both with

[1:21:35] how the how the movie shot and also it's just super like a very colorful trip around London

[1:21:42] um and it's really fun and cute and I liked it a lot and I would recommend it uh so Rye Lane

[1:21:50] speaking of fun and cute here's a movie that is neither of those things uh I recently watched

[1:21:55] a movie that I remember seeing the trailers for when it came out I never got around to seeing

[1:21:59] that was 23 years ago and it's a kind of modern noir called The Deep End with Tilda Swinton

[1:22:05] perhaps you're familiar with that uh where Tilda Swinton is a woman who already seems to be super

[1:22:12] stressed by being a mom while her husband is away as the captain of a ship somewhere out in the

[1:22:17] ocean and uh her son is her older son who's about to go to college uh is entangled with a seedy uh

[1:22:26] club owner or perhaps he's a drug dealer he's a he's the kind of he's a nightclub owner the

[1:22:31] kind of person you don't really want your son to be involved with um that guy ends up dead she

[1:22:37] finds his body and assumes that her son must have done it and it begins to be blackmailed by someone

[1:22:42] who knows that her son and that guy were in in a relationship with each other uh and her relationship

[1:22:47] then with the blackmailer takes some surprising turns and it's a movie that is somehow incredibly

[1:22:55] tense even though uh and there's a feeling of threat to it even though there's not a lot of

[1:23:00] on-screen threat and Tilda Swinton's performance in it is so incredibly controlled but at the same

[1:23:06] time it always feels like there's all these emotions under the surface it's just she's just

[1:23:10] really fantastic in it so I recommend she's good at that that stuff right it's almost like she's

[1:23:15] really good at it uh so if you're looking for a kind of modern noir not super modern because again

[1:23:21] the movie is nearly a quarter of a century old uh but if you're looking for so there's no like

[1:23:25] robot boots and flying cars and shit no there's no flying cars and robot boots but uh but if you're

[1:23:31] looking for a solid noir that's in color try the deep end that's like a pretty current movie for

[1:23:37] an elliot recommendation right yeah 23 years yeah 23 years as opposed to 73 years which is my usual

[1:23:44] yeah uh or more than that 83 years often yeah oh man another uh small member in the books

[1:23:54] those uh what book is that what books are these i don't know uh someone i think tweeted or

[1:24:01] instagram message uh recently saying that uh it said buy more followers

[1:24:08] yeah yes i'm interested no it said they said that this is the 10 year anniversary of this

[1:24:16] uh theme month i don't look i didn't check on that i forgot to but if so uh amazing um you know

[1:24:24] but it's always sad when it goes but the only the only uh bright spot on the horizon is that

[1:24:31] shocktober shocktober is about to come around the corner with the spookifying we got some hot

[1:24:37] stuff do we got uh we got any uh anything on the slate you want to announce um we we're gonna do i

[1:24:44] believe uh night swim and dear david i think is the name of it and for the that latter one we've

[1:24:52] got ms hallie hagland on the books the star of the show back again i feel like shocktober means

[1:24:59] more now we used to do more horror movies during the year now we do less so now shocktober really

[1:25:03] means something there's only good movies good horror movies being made these days right i you

[1:25:08] know you joke but when i was looking at possible shocktober movies i was actually surprised by how

[1:25:14] bare the cupboard seemed in terms of like like really tasty ideas so i would i feel like the

[1:25:19] general average in terms of quality of horror movies is very high at the moment maybe that's

[1:25:27] a combination of there not being as many movies being released into into theaters and things like

[1:25:32] that but i feel like for so many years of our lives horror movies were kind of schlock for the

[1:25:38] most part and there'd be a really good one every now and then and i feel like the ones that get

[1:25:42] made are often very good you know yeah yeah and i think that studios know that like oh this is

[1:25:48] still something that's profitable for us in a way that like uh has maybe increased the average too

[1:25:53] yeah who knows uh anywho yeah before we go we should thank alex smith our producer we should

[1:26:01] do that dan go ahead and do that thank you alex thank you for uh editing us for cleaning up our

[1:26:07] audio for making us sound good uh and for also being a delightful person in your own right

[1:26:13] you can find alex's work under the name howell dottie he does music he does twitch streams he

[1:26:18] does other stuff he's got some great merch over the howell dotty store look into all of that thank

[1:26:25] you to our network maximum fun maximum fun.org has a lot of great other comedy and culture podcasts

[1:26:32] i'm sure there's something else there that might strike your fancy but for the flop house i've been

[1:26:38] dan mccloy i'm stewart wellington i'm elliott caylan

[1:26:54] you know i know we do a lot of normal episodes of the podcast let's just do a silly one right

[1:26:59] yeah let's do it one for us just for us let's do one just for us

[1:27:03] yeah and if it's good you know if it's good we'll release it you'll do it in oops

[1:27:09] also release it is the way it works that's the secret with the flop house yeah

[1:27:16] maximum fun a worker-owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you

Episode #434 - Robot in the Family

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