FH Mini 117 – The Definitive Action Hero Ranking Pt. 2

[0:00] Hi, floppers, before we start this episode,

[0:02] I just wanted to remind you,

[0:03] we are in the middle of Flop TV season two.

[0:06] That's right, the one hour internet televised

[0:08] Flophouse TV show is here for you

[0:11] the first Saturday of every month through February.

[0:14] Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com

[0:17] and get your tickets or season pass

[0:19] for this all new Flophouse TV stuff.

[0:22] We're covering movies we've never covered before.

[0:24] We've got video segments, it's amazing.

[0:27] Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com

[0:29] for Flop TV season two.

[0:31] This time, it's personal.

[0:33] Hey, hey, it's me, Stuart Wellington

[0:39] of the Flophouse podcast

[0:41] and we're here for another Flophouse mini.

[0:43] That's right, normally we make episodes of a podcast

[0:46] where we watch a bad movie and talk about it.

[0:48] But on the minis, we do whatever we want.

[0:50] We normally goof around and do silly bone stuff,

[0:52] but this time we're doing serious bone stuff.

[0:54] We are doing a no nonsense breakdown

[0:58] of the best action heroes in cinema history

[1:01] as voted by the Flophouse.

[1:03] We are voting them and rating them

[1:05] on three different categories.

[1:06] That's right, radness, badness and lucky dip.

[1:09] We have already got 10 out of the way.

[1:10] If you are like, I'm lost,

[1:12] go back to the episode two weeks ago,

[1:15] listen to that shit and get caught up.

[1:17] We don't have time for that

[1:18] because we got 10 more action heroes to talk about.

[1:21] So Dan, I think it's time.

[1:23] I haven't even introduced my co-host.

[1:24] I know.

[1:25] That is, who's sitting to my left?

[1:27] That could be a mystery, Dan.

[1:29] That could be, I don't know.

[1:29] That could be Dan Stevens, yeah.

[1:30] Yeah.

[1:31] Oh my God.

[1:32] Oh man, it could be Dan Stevens, if only.

[1:35] To be sitting next to Dan Stevens.

[1:36] No, I'm Dan McCoy and with us as always is.

[1:39] Elliot Kalin, that's right.

[1:41] And your main host tonight, Stuart Wellington.

[1:44] Let's grip it and rip it, Dan, roll with it.

[1:47] But okay, it's eight.

[1:49] Okay, we are, we're all the way,

[1:53] man, we've looped all the way around.

[1:55] We are back into the Johns, guys.

[1:57] John Towne, that's right.

[1:59] We are talking about the star of First Blood,

[2:01] First Blood Part Two, John Rambo.

[2:04] John Rambo, he's got the hair, he's got the muscles,

[2:07] he's got the bandana, he's killed a lot of people.

[2:11] He's a weapon, you know,

[2:13] he was trained to be a living weapon, yeah.

[2:15] So let's talk about it.

[2:18] Do you guys have opinions on Mr. John Rambo?

[2:20] Do you like those movies?

[2:21] I like the first one and I like, I don't know,

[2:25] the one that I saw with Elliot, I kinda liked too.

[2:27] What was that?

[2:28] Which one was that? The fourth one?

[2:29] Yeah.

[2:30] Yeah, the one where he goes, he's in,

[2:32] where is it, he's in Malaysia or is it Burma?

[2:34] No, he's in Burma, yeah.

[2:35] With all the, where it's like he's older.

[2:38] Yeah, I hated the most recent one.

[2:39] I don't think I've even seen two or three, I'll be honest.

[2:42] Oh, wow, I remember liking both of those,

[2:45] but I was a kid and dumb.

[2:46] Yes, those movies are dumb.

[2:48] The last one I did not like, but overall,

[2:50] those are my, the first one is a good movie,

[2:53] but overall, the other ones are like

[2:54] guilty pleasures of mine,

[2:56] because they're just, they're ridiculous, you know,

[2:58] but the last one I did not like.

[2:59] The way I live my life, none of my pleasures are guilty.

[3:02] Then you're not doing all right, Stu.

[3:06] Here's the thing though, I do enjoy some of the Rambo,

[3:09] but I would not call him, I don't know,

[3:12] there's not a lot of radness for me.

[3:14] For me, there's not a lot of radness.

[3:16] Like he's, like in the first one, he's a sad man.

[3:19] In all of them, he's a very, there's a lot of sadness

[3:21] in the Rambo movies.

[3:23] And yeah, a lot of PTSD.

[3:26] I don't know, he has a bandana or like a headband

[3:28] or whatever.

[3:29] What about that, your worst nightmare line?

[3:30] That was from a...

[3:32] He's got good lines.

[3:33] Yeah, I don't know.

[3:34] I'm gonna give him a three though.

[3:36] He's not, this is not a rad action hero

[3:38] so much as it is...

[3:39] When I think of Rambo, I sometimes mix him up

[3:41] with Charlie Sheen's character from Hot Shots Part Two.

[3:44] Yeah, very similar, same bow and arrow and headband.

[3:49] I'm gonna give him a five,

[3:51] because I agree he's not a cool character

[3:53] you would wanna be.

[3:54] He's very sad, he's haunted by the things that he's done

[3:58] and that have been done to him.

[4:00] But at the same time, to be that character

[4:02] and to get some good wisecracks out

[4:04] and kind of intimidate people,

[4:05] and also to know how to paint yourself up

[4:06] so you look like the trunk of a tree,

[4:09] just in case the guy you're fighting happens

[4:10] to walk by that one particular tree, that's pretty bad.

[4:14] So I'm gonna, it's pretty rad.

[4:16] So I'm gonna give him a five for radness, yeah.

[4:18] Dan, what was your score again?

[4:20] I think I gave him a three.

[4:21] Okay, let's go into badness.

[4:23] How bad is this?

[4:23] Now for badness, now, on the other hand,

[4:26] this is where he cleans up,

[4:27] because I haven't seen those middle movies,

[4:30] but it's my understanding that he single-handedly

[4:33] gets us a redo and wins the Vietnam War.

[4:35] He wins the Vietnam War,

[4:36] he pushes the Russians out of Afghanistan.

[4:39] He's a one-man Army Corps.

[4:40] Yeah, he's an OMAC.

[4:41] Yeah, he gets a 10 for badness for me.

[4:43] Yeah, 10 for sure.

[4:44] And he's been stabbed and shot so many times,

[4:46] and it just does not faze him, yeah.

[4:48] It was watching Rambo III that I learned

[4:50] that if, I think it was III,

[4:51] where if you get shot,

[4:52] you can just fill the hole with gunpowder

[4:54] and light it on fire to cauterize the wound.

[4:56] If you're Rambo, you can.

[4:58] As a kid, I assumed, when I would grow up,

[5:01] I would use that information all the time.

[5:06] Dan, give me a roll on lucky dip, baby.

[5:08] Yeah, you got a 14 there.

[5:10] A 14 for old John Rambo.

[5:14] Ooh, okay, this is interesting.

[5:17] John Rambo falls through a portal

[5:19] into mythological Greece.

[5:21] How likely, on a scale of one to 10,

[5:24] is he going to complete the 12 labors of Heracles?

[5:27] Oh, I mean, I feel like that's a 10.

[5:29] Come on.

[5:30] Yeah, I mean-

[5:31] He's gonna kill that Nemean lion.

[5:32] He's gonna kill the hydra.

[5:34] He's gonna steal that girdle.

[5:35] How's he gonna handle the stables?

[5:37] The stables is the hard one.

[5:39] That's the hardest one.

[5:40] He's gotta redirect that river.

[5:41] I bet he could figure out a way to do it,

[5:43] just with the weapons at hand, yeah.

[5:45] Yeah, I mean, to my knowledge-

[5:47] The geology of stables is the hard one, yeah.

[5:49] To my knowledge, John Rambo is not a half-god man,

[5:55] so he loses a point for me for that,

[5:57] but otherwise, I'm gonna give him a nine.

[5:59] He seems as close to a Greek hero as you can get.

[6:03] Yeah, for sure, that is a good category for him.

[6:06] Yeah, lucky for him.

[6:08] Okay, okay, Dan, give me another, who's our next hero?

[6:13] I got a six here.

[6:15] Six here would be, okay.

[6:17] Wait, that's a nine, it doesn't matter.

[6:19] Okay, it doesn't matter.

[6:21] So we have the star of Kill Bill and Kill Bill 2,

[6:24] the hero of Kill Bill and Kill Bill 2,

[6:26] the Bride, aka Beatrix Kiddo, played by Uma Thurman.

[6:31] Yeah, I mean, she wears a yellow tracksuit around.

[6:36] Yeah, like a Bruce Lee tracksuit.

[6:37] So I think that that's gotta be like a 10 for Radness.

[6:42] It's gotta be a 10 for Radness, for sure.

[6:44] She looks super rad, yeah.

[6:46] Yeah, okay, what about Badness?

[6:51] I mean, almost as high.

[6:52] She like kills all of the, like the 99 whatevers

[6:56] or whatever, what are they called?

[6:57] The 99 whatevers, are they called the 99 whatevers?

[7:00] Now you have to face the 99 whatevers.

[7:03] What are they exactly?

[7:05] She punches her way out of a grave, like, I don't know.

[7:08] She teaches herself how to move her entire body

[7:10] when all she can move is her toe, you know?

[7:12] Yeah, I think just out of like a weird instinct

[7:15] to not clean up too hard, I'm gonna give her a nine,

[7:18] but maybe it should be a 10, I don't know, nine.

[7:20] I'm not threatened by powerful women the way Dan is,

[7:23] so I'm gonna give her a 10.

[7:24] Okay, okay, and let's give me a lucky dip.

[7:27] How does, how does the Bride perform?

[7:29] What if the category is digging yourself out of a grave?

[7:31] You have to give her a 10. Oh, she crushed it!

[7:33] 15.

[7:35] Okay, so if the Bride was able to put all this revenge

[7:40] and whatnot behind her, how likely, on a scale of one to 10,

[7:44] would she be successful as a social media star?

[7:48] Oh, I think pretty high.

[7:49] I mean, she's like a beautiful white lady,

[7:53] and she's got a track suit.

[7:55] She's got a kid at the end, right?

[7:57] So like, that's, there's a lot of mommy influencers

[8:00] out there, yeah.

[8:01] Yeah, I think that, I think, yeah, she's doing pretty well.

[8:05] And an interest in Asian culture,

[8:07] which is also, which can also be big online, so yeah.

[8:10] Although she might get canceled for, again,

[8:12] being a white lady who's like appropriating that culture.

[8:14] Yeah, that's possible, that's possible, yeah.

[8:17] I'm gonna give her an eight for this.

[8:19] Yeah, I'm also gonna give her an eight, yeah.

[8:21] Not bad, though, these are good scores.

[8:23] These are high scores. She did really well.

[8:24] Actually, the thing that takes her down is,

[8:26] I worry that she would have trouble

[8:27] with the digital interface,

[8:28] because she's such an analog, hands-on person, you know?

[8:31] That's true.

[8:32] She can really admire and understand

[8:34] the Hattori Hanzo sword, but I don't know

[8:36] if she's gonna be able to figure out that app.

[8:38] Yeah, that's true.

[8:39] Okay, Dan, give me a roll.

[8:40] Who's our next hero?

[8:41] We got a 15 here.

[8:43] A 15 is, okay.

[8:47] We have the stars of the Bad Boys franchise.

[8:52] Detective Mike Lowry and Marcus Burnett,

[8:55] played by Will Smith and Martin Lawrence.

[8:59] These are huge movies, huge action movies.

[9:01] Elliot, have you seen any of them?

[9:02] I've seen the first two.

[9:03] I've not seen the new one.

[9:04] There's two newer ones, right?

[9:06] Two newer ones.

[9:07] Bad Boys Forever and Bad Boys Ride or Die.

[9:09] Wow, you nailed it.

[9:10] Yeah.

[9:11] You have been paying attention to the billboards in LA.

[9:15] Exactly, but I haven't seen either of those.

[9:17] They lost me.

[9:17] To be honest, they kind of lost me

[9:18] with those two rats having sex in the second one.

[9:21] What?

[9:23] Pause the fucking podcast, Dan.

[9:24] The moment where the person sitting next to me

[9:26] like couldn't contain themselves and started nudging me

[9:29] by how funny they thought it was.

[9:32] I've enjoyed the two most recent ones.

[9:36] The movies make a radical switch in tone

[9:39] from Michael Bay not caring about humanity

[9:42] to suddenly being like, hey, it's a love story

[9:45] between these two aging police officers.

[9:48] The trailers look much more serious

[9:49] than the previous movies, yeah.

[9:50] Yeah, you know, they're not great, but they're fun.

[9:56] How rad are these two dudes?

[9:57] Well, I mean, I don't know.

[10:00] They've got a lot of the signifiers of radness.

[10:03] I do not think it is quite so rad that there are two cops who go around just like wildly

[10:09] shooting things and like running cars into shantytowns.

[10:14] That's true.

[10:15] Which to be fair, Jackie Chan does in the first police story too pretty much.

[10:19] Yeah.

[10:20] Bad guys doing that.

[10:21] Yeah.

[10:22] They level for that a lot.

[10:23] This is a fantasy world so I'm not going to, you know, take them too much to task for that

[10:28] but I will give them just a five.

[10:30] Okay.

[10:31] I'm going to give them, I think I'm going to give them a six.

[10:35] Okay.

[10:36] Yeah.

[10:37] I mean they're fun.

[10:38] Like part of the success of these movies is you like spending time with them.

[10:41] Yeah.

[10:42] Yeah.

[10:43] Okay.

[10:44] How bad are these bad bullies?

[10:45] They are.

[10:46] It's right in the title.

[10:47] It is right in the title, right?

[10:49] But I feel like they are not, I don't know, it's like they get the job done but I don't

[10:52] think of them as like Terminators, you know?

[10:56] Yeah.

[10:58] Yeah.

[10:59] I feel like their strength is sort of like the power of friendship, honestly.

[11:04] Yeah.

[11:05] No.

[11:06] Thank you, Dan.

[11:07] Yeah.

[11:08] It's its own sort of badness.

[11:09] Yeah.

[11:10] Yeah.

[11:11] So in badness, I'm going to give them a seven, I think.

[11:12] I'm going to give them, I'm going to go sixes across the board.

[11:13] Okay.

[11:14] Give me a roll on lucky dip.

[11:15] Lucky dip.

[11:16] This might be their category.

[11:17] 13.

[11:18] Lucky number 13.

[11:21] Man, this, I feel like this is a fucking part of like a subplot of one of these movies.

[11:27] How likely are they going to be able to successfully take a niece dress shopping for her first

[11:33] boy-girl thing?

[11:34] Oh, man.

[11:35] I just feel like it would integrate very well into an actual Bad Boys movie, yeah.

[11:38] I mean, like-

[11:39] I mean, they would not do a good job.

[11:41] Well, but here's the thing, there'd be a lot of shenanigans.

[11:46] They'd end up with the right dress.

[11:47] A lot of shenanigans.

[11:48] But they would end up coming through at the end.

[11:50] So I'm going to give them a nine for this.

[11:51] I'm going to give them an eight just because there's going to be a lot of broken glass

[11:55] along the way.

[11:56] That's true, yeah.

[11:57] That's true, yeah.

[11:58] That was a good one for these boys.

[12:01] Not so bad, boys.

[12:02] Okay, Dan, give me another roll.

[12:06] Another roll brings us the number nine.

[12:09] Okay, so that, okay.

[12:12] You would know him as the director of Juror Number Two, Dirty Harry himself.

[12:18] You absolutely know him as the director of Juror Number Two.

[12:20] It's received almost no release.

[12:23] Yep, we're talking about Dirty Harry Callahan, played by Clint Eastwood in the Dirty Harry

[12:29] film.

[12:30] This is another one where I feel like we're going to have to separate in some ways, and

[12:32] I have been doing a bad job of this, the politics of the film and the character from the aesthetic

[12:37] and the actions of the character.

[12:39] Also, it's interesting.

[12:41] I mean, it's not like it's a critique or anything, but at least the first Dirty Harry sort of

[12:47] like reckons with the idea of like, oh, maybe a cop shouldn't be doing these things.

[12:52] I mean, he's called Dirty Harry, like he's not called Great Harry.

[12:55] He throws his badge away at the end.

[12:57] You're supposed to feel a little queasy, but then the sequels are like, ah, forget all

[13:00] that.

[13:01] What a great guy.

[13:02] Yeah.

[13:03] But even then, in terms of ratitude, I think he's, I mean, I love Clint Eastwood.

[13:06] Again, I don't agree with him politically, but I think he is a great presence on screen.

[13:10] I love so many of the movies he's made.

[13:13] But I don't know, in terms of ratitude, like it's not like I think of Dirty Harry as like

[13:16] a cool character, you know?

[13:18] Yeah.

[13:19] He's got like, he's got some nice 70s suits.

[13:22] He's got a really long gun.

[13:23] Yeah.

[13:24] It's so long.

[13:25] A long gun.

[13:26] Yeah.

[13:27] So I think I'm going to give him, I'm going to, I've been, this episode, I feel like I'm

[13:31] a little more luxurious with my grading.

[13:35] I'm going to give him a six on this one.

[13:37] No, I'm going to give him a five, actually.

[13:38] I'll give him a five on ratitude.

[13:40] He gets a five on ratitude.

[13:41] Damn.

[13:42] I'm going to, I'm going to stay parsimonious and I'm going to give him a five.

[13:45] Okay.

[13:46] Let's talk about badness.

[13:47] How bad is this dirty police officer?

[13:50] He's a pretty bad dude.

[13:51] He's a pretty bad dude.

[13:52] I mean, he can, he takes down Scorpio, uh, you know, who the, the regular legal system

[13:57] can't even handle this monster.

[13:58] Yeah.

[13:59] It's impossible to stop.

[14:00] I mean, he's, I mean, essentially he remains just a cop, like he is not, he does not ascend

[14:07] to like the level of action movie, uh, wildness that some of these, but like, I think it was

[14:13] a testament to how dirty this Harry is that I'm still going to give him a nine for badness.

[14:17] I think I'm going to give him an eight because yeah, I feel like he's just not at the same

[14:22] level in terms of action as some of the others, but he's so, he has such aplomb when he, and

[14:28] the fact that when he, you know, the, the famous speech, but how many, how many shots

[14:33] did I fire?

[14:34] You know, like that's just him talking a guy into not reaching for his gun.

[14:37] And that's pretty, that's pretty bad-ass pretty, pretty bad-ass.

[14:41] That's verbal action.

[14:42] Verbal fighting.

[14:43] Give me a lucky dip for old dirty Harry.

[14:45] That's a 13 again.

[14:46] Okay.

[14:47] Um, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop.

[14:50] Sure has to adjust in real time as many numbers have been eliminated.

[14:54] Yeah.

[14:55] Ooh.

[14:56] Okay.

[14:57] Actually, I think he's going to have a little trouble with this old lucky dip, uh, on a

[15:00] scale of one to 10, one being very likely to 10 being very unlikely.

[15:08] This is another pre-election one?

[15:10] Yes.

[15:12] How likely is dirty Harry Callahan going to be canceled or metooed?

[15:16] Oh, so likely one.

[15:19] I mean, yeah.

[15:20] Well, very, very likely.

[15:21] Yeah.

[15:22] Very likely.

[15:23] Very likely was one, right?

[15:24] Yes.

[15:25] Oh wait.

[15:26] Unlikely was 10.

[15:27] Because the high scores are, you want them, the stuff that you like, you put at the high

[15:28] school.

[15:29] I was paying more attention to what you were saying Stuart than what you were.

[15:32] Yeah.

[15:33] Yeah.

[15:34] Thank you.

[15:35] So I messed it up.

[15:36] So very unlikely is a one.

[15:37] Oh, very likely is a 10.

[15:38] Oh, then 10.

[15:39] He'll be canceled.

[15:40] I mean, he would go to jail.

[15:41] I'm not supporting the bad behavior.

[15:42] Wait a minute.

[15:43] I'm just going according to Stuart's score.

[15:44] I know.

[15:45] No, wait.

[15:46] I messed it up.

[15:47] Yeah.

[15:48] Previously, the idea was-

[15:49] The idea is that he should not get canceled.

[15:50] Exactly.

[15:51] So that's lower.

[15:52] So he gets a one or a zero, right?

[15:53] Wait, look.

[15:54] Whatever one it is where he gets canceled, that's the one I'm picking.

[15:57] Yeah.

[15:58] Yeah.

[15:59] So that's low.

[16:00] Low.

[16:01] Yeah.

[16:02] So he gets a one.

[16:03] We're both going low.

[16:04] We're going to both give him a one, I think, for this.

[16:05] Okay.

[16:06] We did it.

[16:07] Thank you guys.

[16:08] He would certainly be brought up on charges.

[16:09] Yeah.

[16:10] He'd be reshuffled.

[16:11] He'd be put on desk duty.

[16:12] Yeah.

[16:13] He loses-

[16:14] Get a salary for doing nothing.

[16:15] He's the kind of police officer that people protest about.

[16:17] Yeah.

[16:18] He'd have to move over to true social for his social media needs.

[16:21] Okay, Dan, give me a roll for our next hero.

[16:24] That's a four.

[16:26] Or a, okay, that you would know him as the Shogun's Executioner, formerly Ogami Ito from

[16:33] the Lone Wolf and Cubs series.

[16:35] Dan, have you seen any of these?

[16:36] I have not.

[16:37] This is going to be-

[16:39] These are fun.

[16:40] Trouble for me.

[16:41] Okay.

[16:42] Well, imagine a man who can perform a cut on your neck that creates a whistling sound

[16:46] that is something that swordsmen long to hear.

[16:51] How ironic that they hear it from their own throat.

[16:53] That's right.

[16:54] Ogami Ito, the Shogun's Executioner, the baddest dude in the universe.

[16:58] This is okay.

[16:59] I don't remember if this happens in any of the movies.

[17:00] In the comic, there's a scene where some guys are harassing a woman and to show them how

[17:05] to treat a woman.

[17:06] He has sex with her right in front of them and is not fazed at all by the fact that all

[17:09] these bad dudes are watching and the woman loves it and he's just like, see, that's how

[17:13] you do it.

[17:14] And these guys are like, how is this man able to get a boner with us looking at him?

[17:20] Is this, is Mifune, does he do this in the movies?

[17:23] Who is it?

[17:24] No.

[17:25] No, no.

[17:26] Okay.

[17:27] I don't, actually, I don't remember the actor's name.

[17:28] I can't remember his name either.

[17:29] I'll look it up, but it's not Mifune.

[17:30] Okay.

[17:31] There's other Japanese actors, Dan.

[17:33] I just thought I knew that.

[17:34] There's Takeshi Shimura either, the other Japanese actor you were going to mention.

[17:39] I'm at a, I'm at a disadvantage, but I'm going to say a seven.

[17:43] I'm guessing at a seven.

[17:45] He's pretty rad.

[17:46] He pushes around a baby cart that can be converted into a variety of different weapons and killing

[17:51] tools.

[17:52] Yes.

[17:53] Now that might be baditude, not ratitude, but I'm going to say, it's a, wait a minute.

[17:58] Why am I freaking, well, I'm wasting my time looking up the, the actor's names, but it's

[18:03] the, uh, cause I can't remember off the top of my head, but I am giving him a, uh, nine

[18:08] in terms of ratitude because not only is he a super cool swordsman, he's a good dad.

[18:16] That's and yeah, I feel like, I feel like Elliot of the three of us has a unique perspective

[18:21] on being a dad.

[18:22] Hmm.

[18:23] And how rad it is.

[18:24] Oh, it's a, it's a weird dad.

[18:25] Tomasaburo Wakayama.

[18:26] Thank you.

[18:27] That's who got me into.

[18:28] Uh, Elliot, have you ever given either of your sons the choice between, uh, the sword

[18:33] and walking the demons road of my Fumato or choosing the ball and joining their, uh, ancestors

[18:39] in, uh, the land of Yomi?

[18:41] No, that's not a choice that I've ever given my children to be honest.

[18:45] Oh, got me.

[18:46] So did, but I think the thing is, this is a guy who's able to combine work with parenthood

[18:51] in a way that all of us wish we could.

[18:54] And he's always there for it.

[18:55] He's always there for the cub.

[18:56] Yeah.

[18:57] Yeah.

[18:58] He gets, yeah, he manages to achieve that balance.

[18:59] It's pretty incredible.

[19:00] Dan, uh, Elliot gave him a 10, Dan, you gave him a what for ratitude?

[19:05] I gave him a seven.

[19:07] Okay.

[19:08] Bad attitude.

[19:09] This dude has filled the entire shogunate with, uh, with bodies.

[19:14] I mean, this is, I, the, the, the, the hells are full of his victims.

[19:17] Yeah.

[19:18] And he's again that he, he has a tricked out baby carriage full of weapons that he kills

[19:24] people with.

[19:25] Uh, he's a master swordsman.

[19:27] He kills people.

[19:28] They don't even know they're dead till later.

[19:29] Um, so I'm going to give him a 10 on this one also, man.

[19:32] He's doing great.

[19:33] Okay.

[19:34] You can only guess at the, I can only guess, but the tales I've heard, uh, told make me

[19:39] think that he must receive a 10.

[19:42] Okay.

[19:43] Now give me, let's give me a lucky dip.

[19:44] This might be a challenge for our boy.

[19:46] Yeah.

[19:47] Seven.

[19:48] Okay.

[19:49] Hmm.

[19:50] Ooh, this might be a tough one.

[19:52] It's only due to a language barrier.

[19:54] Um, how likely on a scale of one to 10, can he finish the New York times?

[20:00] Sunday crossword with no hints.

[20:02] Now, I do have to point out,

[20:04] he shouldn't be completing it right now

[20:05] because the New York Tech Union,

[20:08] New York Times Tech Union is currently on strike.

[20:10] Yeah, as of this recording.

[20:11] He should not, he shouldn't cross that picket line.

[20:14] But imagine he did this way back in the day.

[20:18] Yeah, I don't, I mean, like, I don't know canonically,

[20:21] like whether he can speak English.

[20:25] You know, again, this is an English language newspaper.

[20:28] I'm assuming, I'm presuming that the,

[20:30] I don't think that he, I don't remember,

[20:32] certainly not in the movies.

[20:34] Yeah, I'm gonna give him a one for this, unfortunately.

[20:36] Yeah, he's gonna lose some points.

[20:37] I'm also gonna give him a one.

[20:38] He is living at a time when not only

[20:40] would it be hard for him to learn English,

[20:42] but he's living at a time when Japan is effectively

[20:45] cut off from English language nations for the most part.

[20:49] It's during the period before the reopening of Japan,

[20:52] when America basically forced Japan

[20:54] to start letting us trade where we wanted to.

[20:56] So I'm gonna give him a one on this also, yeah.

[20:58] I think he's gonna lack both the language skills

[20:59] and the frame of reference.

[21:01] When it says blank Morales, he's not gonna know.

[21:04] No.

[21:05] He's not gonna know it.

[21:06] It's always Morales.

[21:07] Yeah.

[21:08] Yeah, and it's always acai berries.

[21:12] They love it.

[21:13] Okay, give me another one, Dan.

[21:16] That's a 13 again.

[21:17] 13, okay.

[21:20] Guys, we got another classic here.

[21:22] There have been so many of these fucking movies.

[21:25] That's right.

[21:26] His name is James, James Bond.

[21:28] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[21:30] Stern is not shaken.

[21:34] Played by a couple of actors you might've heard of.

[21:36] Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Daniel Craig.

[21:39] Yeah.

[21:40] Timothy Dalton.

[21:42] Timothy Dalton.

[21:42] Pierce Brosnahan.

[21:44] Pierce Brosnahan.

[21:46] George Rasmussen.

[21:47] The Lazy B.

[21:49] The Lazy B.

[21:50] Wow, well, here's the problem you run into.

[21:53] Like, if this was the 60s,

[21:57] obviously highest marks for radness.

[22:00] You know, the tides, the cultural tides

[22:03] have turned against some of the signifiers of James Bond.

[22:07] Like his dislike of the Beatles, yeah.

[22:09] Yes, he was wrong about the Beatles,

[22:12] and he was wrong about the way he treated

[22:15] most of his female cohorts.

[22:17] Yeah, that's true.

[22:18] Yeah, but he does, he is like kind of the avatar

[22:22] of like, here's a bunch of cool stuff.

[22:24] Like, here's, you're gonna wear a tuxedo,

[22:26] and you're not gonna care if you're a spy

[22:28] and people know your name,

[22:29] and you're gonna drink martinis,

[22:30] and you're gonna have gadgets.

[22:31] Yeah, you're gonna be good at gambling.

[22:33] Constantly cool and collect cool stuff all the time.

[22:35] Cool stuff like gambling.

[22:37] Yeah, you're gonna do the coolest thing there is,

[22:40] back a rat.

[22:41] Back a rat.

[22:42] Back a rat.

[22:43] Back a rat.

[22:44] Back a rat.

[22:45] Back a rat.

[22:46] Back a rat.

[22:47] Back a rat.

[22:48] I mean, all that said, I mean.

[22:50] Yo, have you guys ever,

[22:52] have you ever gone to like a Vegas casino

[22:54] and been like, I wanna go play back a rat.

[22:56] No.

[22:57] I don't know how to play it, otherwise, yeah, sorry.

[22:58] Kill the John Barry theme, boys,

[23:00] I'm playing some back a rat.

[23:03] I mean, if you count the song

[23:04] as part of his general effect,

[23:06] then it goes up a couple notches,

[23:07] because that's such a cool, rad song.

[23:09] Yes.

[23:10] I, yeah, that's the thing.

[23:11] Like, even with the.

[23:13] I do count the song, though.

[23:14] Even with the shit, I still kind of have

[23:16] to give him an eight for this, I think.

[23:18] Oh, see, I'm gonna give him a nine, yeah.

[23:20] If the song is factored in, and just like,

[23:23] I feel even though he has,

[23:24] so much of the older stuff has aged poorly,

[23:27] he has such the ur-text for action star.

[23:30] Like, that's as far back as you can go

[23:33] before it starts to seem kind of like

[23:35] weirdly disconnected from what we think of

[23:38] as an action hero today, yeah.

[23:40] And badness.

[23:41] How bad is James Bond?

[23:43] This is a hard one,

[23:44] because he, like, he's done so much.

[23:46] He's saved the world so many times,

[23:48] and yet, like, I feel like there's a certain

[23:51] lack of total badness to him.

[23:55] I'm also gonna give him an eight for this.

[23:57] It's hard to explain, but I don't feel the total badness.

[23:58] I'm gonna give him an eight on this one, too.

[24:00] I'm also gonna give him an eight on this one.

[24:01] I feel like if you put him in a room

[24:03] with some of these other characters,

[24:05] he would not have much of a chance.

[24:07] But if you put him in a factory,

[24:10] or on a crane, or something like that,

[24:12] with some of these other characters,

[24:13] he would win. Or skiing somewhere.

[24:14] Or skiing, exactly, yeah.

[24:15] Jesus, put him on skis.

[24:17] He's gonna wreck everybody.

[24:18] Yeah.

[24:19] Okay, so give me a lucky dip for old James.

[24:21] For Jimmy.

[24:22] That's a 12.

[24:24] 12, okay.

[24:30] You wanna cross some of these off?

[24:32] I should, yeah.

[24:33] Okay.

[24:34] Oh, he wasn't crossing them out?

[24:35] Now, if James Bond were to appear on a...

[24:40] Yeah.

[24:41] How do I frame this as a...

[24:42] I've been having some challenges framing this.

[24:45] It's so good that he didn't get

[24:46] the giving advice on a date one.

[24:48] That would be a bad category for him, yeah.

[24:50] Also, the getting canceled one.

[24:51] He'd be pretty likely. Oh, for sure, yeah.

[24:53] Okay, if you were to transport the character,

[24:57] James Bond, into a rom-com,

[25:01] on a scale of one being wouldn't work at all,

[25:05] 10 being he would fit in seamlessly,

[25:08] it would be a normal rom-com.

[25:10] James Bond is basically a rom-com character.

[25:12] Where does he fit?

[25:15] I think he still gets pretty high.

[25:16] I mean, you say normal rom-com,

[25:18] I think you might wanna spin it where it's like...

[25:21] Like a 90s rom-com.

[25:22] I mean, this is true of most rom-coms

[25:24] where someone needs to learn a lesson.

[25:27] Maybe he needs to learn to not be so sexist,

[25:31] but he's a dapper man who wears evening wear and is suave.

[25:37] I would give him a seven, I think.

[25:39] Oh, see, I'm gonna give him an eight

[25:40] because I could see it going either way.

[25:41] Either he is the guy who learns a lesson

[25:43] or he is the bad boyfriend

[25:45] who the main character has to win the girl of his dreams from

[25:51] and you understand why she's with him

[25:53] because he's so cool and he's so suave,

[25:55] but you know that she shouldn't be with him

[25:57] because he's sleeping around and also shoots people.

[25:59] Interesting take.

[26:05] Dr. Game Shows a podcast

[26:06] where we play games submitted by listeners

[26:08] with callers from all around the world.

[26:10] And this is a game to get you to listen.

[26:13] Name three reasons to listen to Dr. Game Show.

[26:16] Kyla and Lunar from Freedom Mame.

[26:19] Dishes, folding the laundry, doing cat grooming.

[26:24] Okay, thank you.

[26:26] Oh, things you could do while listening, yeah.

[26:30] I love that the reason, I'm like,

[26:31] why do you listen to this show?

[26:32] And Lunar's like, dishes, fantastic.

[26:35] Manolo.

[26:36] Number one is that it'll inspire you.

[26:40] You're gonna be like, oh, I could do that.

[26:43] That's all we have time for,

[26:44] but you'll just have to find Dr. Game Show

[26:46] on Maximum Fun to find out for yourself.

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[27:17] Now is the time to shop for the MaxFun fans in your life,

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[27:23] MaxFunStore.com, go get something special or kind of dumb.

[27:28] We've got it all.

[27:29] The Flophouse, of course, comes to you courtesy

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[27:40] and becoming a member of MaxFun,

[27:42] but we are also sponsored in part by Aura Frames.

[27:47] The holidays are all about connecting with loved ones,

[27:50] and there's no better way to do that

[27:52] than with a digital picture frame from MaxFunStore.com.

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[28:24] You don't have to get stuck with one picture in one frame.

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[28:28] and it cycles through all of your great photos.

[28:32] And here we like to put our wedding photos on there.

[28:34] We also like to put, here's the thing,

[28:37] a lot of times I feel like people don't put pictures

[28:39] of their friends up in their home so much as their family,

[28:43] even though they love their friends.

[28:45] But if you have a digital picture frame,

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[32:05] One week from this day that this is being released,

[32:08] we will discuss Highlander 2,

[32:10] the quickening and infamous sequel.

[32:13] That's December the 7th at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 Eastern,

[32:17] if you want to watch it live

[32:18] and chat along with the other viewers.

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[32:30] $7 per show or get a season pass and pay $35,

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[32:38] And also, if you prefer seeing us truly live,

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[32:54] Sunday, January 19.

[32:56] That is coming up pretty fast, actually, at 7 p.m.

[33:00] And if you want tickets, go to sfsketchfest.com.

[33:06] Okay, okay.

[33:07] Give me another roll, Dan.

[33:09] We're getting near the end.

[33:10] That's a four.

[33:11] A four?

[33:13] Yep.

[33:14] Okay.

[33:16] Our next up is we're going to be seeing

[33:19] this gentleman on Flop TV soon.

[33:21] That's right, Conor McCloud.

[33:23] He's an immortal.

[33:24] He's a Highlander.

[33:26] Where's a kilt?

[33:27] Conor McCloud.

[33:29] Okay, I've only seen Highlander.

[33:31] I have not seen Highlander 2, colon, The Quickening yet.

[33:34] Did you see Highlander 3?

[33:36] What was it, The Final Dimension?

[33:38] Something like that?

[33:38] I think so, with Mario Van Peebles.

[33:40] Yeah, I remember seeing that in the theaters.

[33:42] I did, too.

[33:43] I also remember the trailer.

[33:44] Yeah, I remember the trailer where they're like,

[33:46] his name is Kane.

[33:48] Yeah, and he can make a truck turn invisible.

[33:51] Fucking cool as hell.

[33:53] As someone who, you know, my uncle-

[33:58] Oh, that's, wait a minute.

[33:59] Highlander, oh, Highlander 3 was The Sorcerer.

[34:02] And this was, oh no, did it have two different titles?

[34:04] Was that it?

[34:05] Yeah, and then there's, wait a minute.

[34:07] Oh, so it was two different titles.

[34:08] That's what it was, yeah.

[34:09] Oh, thank God.

[34:10] We saw it as Highlander, The Final Dimension.

[34:12] Yep.

[34:14] What's the animated lightning in those movies?

[34:17] Is that part of his powers,

[34:18] or does it just imbue him with something?

[34:20] Or like, it's a long-

[34:21] Well, when he chops somebody's head off

[34:22] and he gets hit with lightning to get strong.

[34:24] Oh, okay.

[34:25] Yeah, I think that's him absorbing their power, right?

[34:28] Yeah.

[34:29] Well, okay, so he's got lightning stuff going on.

[34:31] And I was gonna say,

[34:32] as my uncle would not let us forget growing up,

[34:36] we are of Scottish heritage,

[34:38] so gotta love a Highlander, you know?

[34:43] Wears a kilt around and such.

[34:44] He goes to wrestling matches by himself as an adult.

[34:48] Maybe give him a seven for radness.

[34:51] Okay.

[34:52] All right, I mean-

[34:53] He owns a curiosity shop.

[34:55] The thing is, I love-

[34:56] Is it old?

[34:57] Not old enough.

[34:58] I love Scottish things.

[34:59] Scotland, I think, is maybe my second favorite country

[35:01] in terms of countries I've spent time in.

[35:04] I love curiosity shops,

[35:05] but I'm gonna have to give him like a four.

[35:07] I just don't find him very rad.

[35:10] Oof, okay.

[35:11] Well, I think he was hoping to clean up in that category.

[35:13] Let's talk about badness.

[35:15] How bad is this Highlander?

[35:16] I mean, there can be only one,

[35:18] which seems like that's pretty bad in and of itself.

[35:21] It's pretty bad, but they keep showing up.

[35:24] They do keep showing up.

[35:25] Even though there can be only one,

[35:26] there's quite a few of them, yeah.

[35:28] Yeah, it's lousy with them.

[35:30] I'm also, you know, seven's a cross.

[35:32] Okay, seven's a cross.

[35:33] Elliot.

[35:34] I'll give him a six.

[35:37] Okay.

[35:38] No, you know what?

[35:39] I'll give him a seven.

[35:40] Okay.

[35:41] Jesse Brown is like, I got beaten by a six.

[35:45] Okay, give me a lucky dip roll for this Highlander.

[35:51] We got a loop all the way back around.

[35:53] No, there we are.

[35:56] Oh no, okay.

[35:57] On a scale of one being unlikely,

[36:01] wait, one being very likely to 10 being very unlikely,

[36:07] how likely is Connor McCloud going to vote independent

[36:11] in the United States election?

[36:14] Oh boy.

[36:15] Now, assuming that he is a citizen,

[36:18] because again, he's from Scotland, right?

[36:20] But maybe he became a naturalized citizen at some point.

[36:22] Yes, we're going to assume that.

[36:26] I'm gonna say pretty high, I think,

[36:28] pretty likely that he would vote independent.

[36:30] So that's a low score.

[36:31] I'm getting like a sort of a libertarian vibe off of that.

[36:34] Yeah, me too.

[36:36] I don't know, I'll give him what low is likely,

[36:38] I'll give him a three.

[36:40] Yeah.

[36:40] Yeah, I'm gonna give him a three also.

[36:42] Not great.

[36:44] Okay, give me another roll, Dan.

[36:46] We're getting near the bottom.

[36:47] The roll is a nine.

[36:51] It is a nine.

[36:52] That goes, okay, that's right.

[36:55] This guy has a certain set of skills

[36:57] and those skills, sometimes they ain't pretty.

[37:00] That's right, we have everybody's favorite character,

[37:02] Brian Mills.

[37:04] What?

[37:05] Brian, you don't know Brian Mills?

[37:08] General Mills, right, yeah.

[37:10] Brian Mills from the Taken franchise.

[37:12] Oh, I thought his name was Liam Taken.

[37:15] You know what?

[37:16] It's Brian Mills.

[37:18] I didn't even remember from our aborted earlier text

[37:22] to do this episode.

[37:26] We've been over this.

[37:27] Okay, yeah.

[37:28] So as we, I think we've all agree, we all agree,

[37:30] he would score very high if the category was dadness.

[37:34] Yeah, dadness was high for Brian Mills.

[37:36] Dadness would be a big category for him.

[37:38] But it's not, it's radness.

[37:39] Radness, I think he's gonna be pretty low on this.

[37:42] I mean, I generally like seeing Liam Neeson in movies,

[37:46] but I feel like the whole point of Brian Mills

[37:47] is that he is, you don't suspect

[37:49] that he is going to have this stuff inside of him.

[37:51] He doesn't project as a cool, you know.

[37:53] I feel like he gets an extra point for that speech,

[37:56] his speech about skills.

[37:58] That's pretty cool, but that's not enough.

[37:59] I don't think it's enough to really put him

[38:01] in the heavy end.

[38:02] I'd give him like a three, even with the speech factored in.

[38:05] For intensity and for tallness,

[38:08] I'm gonna give him a five.

[38:10] Tallness, you know, hey, it's one of the most,

[38:13] one of the most sought after attractive features.

[38:15] And realize tallness was one of the things,

[38:17] I guess I'll tell Puck from Alpha Flight

[38:19] that you'll be grading him low, Dan.

[38:22] Oh, yeah.

[38:23] Okay, now badness.

[38:24] How bad is this battler?

[38:25] He's got a specific particular set of skills, you know.

[38:29] Yep, he's pretty bad.

[38:31] You know, and he maintained being bad

[38:34] even as he aged through several sequels.

[38:37] Mm-hmm.

[38:38] And he can start out like such a spring chicken.

[38:40] Even starting out, I feel like Liam Neeson

[38:42] has admitted that he's like shocked

[38:44] that they've been as successful as they were.

[38:46] Yeah.

[38:48] He and Nicolas Cage both, it is a very strange thing

[38:51] for them to suddenly become action stars.

[38:53] Like Nicolas Cage was this strange kind of like

[38:56] experimental actor in many ways,

[38:58] and then was in Con Air and The Rock

[39:00] and all those others, and it's like,

[39:01] oh, no, no, he's a huge action star.

[39:03] And Liam Neeson, similarly, I mean, he was Darkman.

[39:05] But like, you wouldn't know for the rest of his filmography

[39:08] that he would become an action star late in life, yeah.

[39:11] And then be fighting wolves with his bare hands, you know.

[39:13] Yeah.

[39:14] Do you think that Liam Neeson now regrets

[39:16] not being Darkman in the Darkman sequels?

[39:21] You'd have to ask him.

[39:22] It might not come up in his minds that much.

[39:24] I'll text him.

[39:25] I'll send him a text.

[39:26] I just wanna say for badness,

[39:27] I think he suffers from the company

[39:31] we have kept so far in these minis.

[39:33] I'll give him a seven.

[39:35] Okay.

[39:36] Hey, if you lose a daughter, he's gonna find that thing.

[39:39] I'll also give him a seven.

[39:41] I feel like he is, again, he cuts through bad guys

[39:44] like a hot knife through butter.

[39:46] But when you compare him to Conan the Barbarian.

[39:48] It's tough.

[39:49] You know, it's tough.

[39:50] Or The Widow, you know, it's tough.

[39:52] Dan, what do you roll?

[39:53] I assume that this like weird thing

[39:55] is the equivalent of a 20.

[39:56] Yup.

[39:58] Okay, Brian.

[39:59] Man, I think he's gonna be.

[40:00] pretty good at this one on a scale of 1 being unlikely to 10 being very likely how likely

[40:07] is Brian Mills going to give a great wedding speech speeches I feel like he would fucking

[40:14] do that in a taken movie to yeah I think so daughter's wedding he's got that gravitas

[40:19] to you know yeah I think I feel like he is a dad again he is a dad felt dad again that's

[40:25] my favorite movie I'm not gonna give him top marks because I don't think there's gonna

[40:29] be a lot of humor in that speech but in terms of heart like I'm gonna give him a nine oh

[40:33] people are gonna feel it they're gonna have a lump in their throat I'm also gonna give

[40:36] him a nine yeah okay Brian Mills good points okay Dan give me a roll we are down to two

[40:42] okay that's a two perfect you nailed it right on the head she has fought Queens she's fought

[40:48] babies she is Ellen Ripley hero from the information about what kind of babies Oh changes your

[40:58] opinion when I don't say alien in there right Ellen Ripley he is the as the hero we're talking

[41:05] about played by Sigourney Weaver this will also I'll also include the like what Ripley

[41:13] alien hybrid type thing from alien resurrection Ripley it's still I mean it's you know whether

[41:19] that's real still Ripley or not is a question for the philosophers Dan but yeah well Stewart

[41:24] brought up one of my read like look she's introduced as kind of deliberately on rad

[41:31] you know the the idea was you don't know an alien who the hero is gonna be like she was

[41:36] not a big name maybe it's the alien time yeah it could be the alien mean the alien walks

[41:41] away looking pretty good in that yeah probably not in a hole yeah probably pretty sure he's

[41:46] not gonna be the hero so she starts from a place of deliberate on radness but by the

[41:52] end of that movie she's in her underwear by the end of the series she is a hybrid alien

[42:00] who's been rebirthed so overall I think I'm gonna give her seven she's pretty red I'm

[42:06] gonna give her an eight for radness I agree she is not coded as cool necessarily but once

[42:11] again I'm giving her strong woman in a man's world points and also her jumpsuit looks cool

[42:18] I love that 80s style you know that it's 79 but it feels more 80s at times than 70

[42:22] and also like she pulls off the bald head look very well pulls it off great yeah and

[42:27] she and she is this really cool art she's cool okay let's talk about badness how bad

[42:32] is well she might not stack up against some of these other non-stop killing machines but

[42:37] she does fight like the ultimate living weapon and win regularly yes yeah she's she well

[42:44] Dan you say what you're gonna say it sounds like you have a it's a mixed decision I think

[42:49] you know she does die at least once and you know her life is is true you were the one

[42:54] who said that the other one was with the one after she died was her no no I well I'm saying

[43:00] out of like the four times she's encountered an alien she lost once arguably that was a

[43:05] draw that was I would not address she she threw herself into a vat of fire and lava

[43:11] seems like a victory I mean the fact that she's willing to do that though I'll give her a nine

[43:21] I'm gonna give her a nine as well I feel like she more because of her how quickly she learns

[43:26] she is not she is not trained as a soldier as far as we can tell but she picks up fighting

[43:31] with a flamethrower really fast she can control the power loader she has sex with an alien in

[43:36] the fourth one she's willing to jump into a vat of lava like she's it's pretty it's all pretty

[43:41] badass she'll do whatever it takes to get that alien so fucking rocks that's a nine she's one

[43:46] of the great characters in all of action film yeah yeah damn give me a lucky dip roll that's a four

[43:52] okay okay this was good the there were kind of two options here and one of them she was not going to

[44:00] morning her daughter she's bad okay so on a scale of one being unlikely ten being very likely how

[44:10] likely is she going to get approval for a small business loan sorry which one's very likely okay

[44:16] one is unlikely um well she has a long she's a long employment history there's a gap in the

[44:25] middle where she was in cryogenic sleep yeah he does pick up skills quickly as Elliot says

[44:32] yes you know like the the load power loader she's good as that but true but I do think that the fact

[44:38] that her life is entwined with the aliens forever probably gonna harm her so I'm gonna give her a

[44:45] five I'm gonna split the difference now see I'm gonna give her a seven I feel like she dots her

[44:50] eyes and crosses her T's you know she does things by protocol by the book so whatever hoop she's got

[44:54] to jump through to get that loan she'll do it I think there is a high probability that an alien

[44:59] will appear during the loan approval process which might make it more difficult unless the bank

[45:05] manager is super impressed by what he sees when she did when she kills that alien so so I'm gonna

[45:10] get a seven but uh it's always possible that they'll say you're too big a risk yeah yeah okay

[45:16] they will say your credit history has a huge as a huge gap you had you didn't you didn't borrow

[45:21] a credit card for 50 years you know we don't need to roll at all we are down to one final

[45:29] action hero that's right that's Frank Martin who's this Jason save them from the transporter

[45:38] film the transporter he has a simple rule no women no kids yeah I think there's a I mean

[45:47] there's a fairly million other rules actually he is the opposite of lone wolf in that one wolves

[45:53] only only transports kids mm-hmm yeah it's true yeah a fairly high level of radness like he's you

[46:01] know he's got the suit transports things he's gonna rise is really driving his have you seen

[46:07] his amps yeah you know the sheer statham ness of this he really missed out on not getting the

[46:14] Olympics one cuz wasn't he like an Olympic diver I don't know whether he actually ever made it that

[46:20] high but he was definitely like yeah he was a statham or the transporter no the transporter

[46:26] isn't is just a man of many skills yeah one of them is driving a competitive diver I don't know

[46:31] exactly how high so how rad is he though I'm gonna give an eight for red okay I'm gonna give him you

[46:38] know what I'm gonna be a little tougher on him I'm gonna give him a six the transporter has always

[46:41] felt a little secondhand to me okay he is he is trading on the on the style and fumes of other

[46:48] previous action characters yeah but what about badness uh I mean this is another one where it's

[46:58] like he's tough he can definitely like fight his way through a room even though he's slipping on

[47:03] some oil that is like an all-timer action sequence it's a great sequence what about that bit in part

[47:09] two where he flips his car upside down so hook knocks the bomb that's strapped to the bottom of

[47:14] his car off yeah I mean he can do some amazing things with cars just like our fast and furious

[47:19] friend and then there's the third one where he is like transporting that like Russian girl who's

[47:24] been kidnapped and it turns into this weird like sub-dom like kink relationship it's pretty great

[47:30] yeah these are all good points I don't know I guess that doesn't affect his body I feel I don't know

[47:37] I still feel like I influence a little bit by Elliot about how threadbare some of this is even

[47:43] though I do enjoy it okay I'll give it a seven seven for badness okay seven as well he can handle

[47:49] himself he's got a lot of great moves he does cool things I feel even if they don't always

[47:53] cohere into a into a hole for me yeah you know he might actually do okay on this how likely on a

[48:00] scale of one being unlikely ten being very likely how likely is this to transport something how

[48:08] likely is he to comfortably retire as an old man oh I'm maybe of everyone on this list maybe except

[48:16] for John McClane maybe I would give it I would give him a high mark on this I feel like he's

[48:21] gonna do well yeah he's got all these rules and stuff you know he's a suit he's very professional

[48:25] I would give him ready to walk away I feel like he could walk away from this at a moment's notice

[48:29] and he does not his job gets him into trouble once he stops doing that job I feel like he's he

[48:34] could just be he just go be a beekeeper this was yeah this was the category I was worried Ripley

[48:40] was gonna pull because there's no way she's comfortably retiring fighting aliens until the

[48:45] very end yeah yeah they're in a death spiral I just because there's a chance that he just might

[48:51] you know transport one too many things before and get knocked off I'm gonna dock him a point but

[48:57] I'll give him a nine I could see that I could see that but I think as opposed I feel like especially

[49:01] comparison to the other characters he's the he's maybe the most likely yeah yeah the bad boys I

[49:05] could see retiring at some point yeah so someday okay so that has been I'm gonna tally up the

[49:12] scores hey so this is your game master Stuart Wellington chiming in with the final tally for

[49:24] our rankings of action movie heroes official rankings for the flop house now I've tallied up

[49:32] all the scores and we have our top three contestants now coming in third we actually

[49:38] have an even tie that's right James Bond and Indiana Jones both tie at 71 points not bad out

[49:49] of a possible 90 that is pretty good and they both struggled a little bit when it came to the lucky

[49:54] but that is often the case moving on to our second place this is

[50:00] This is a big deal, but before actually I get there. Let's go. Let's take a little pause

[50:04] Let's look at our lowest scoring hero, and I think this is a little bit of a surprise for fans of the flop house

[50:11] That's right Cameron Poe coming in dead last

[50:15] unfortunately his easy

[50:18] Forrest Gump Ian

[50:19] Jesus like charm just did not put him on the scoreboard

[50:24] So let's get back to the real scores, let's talk at number two

[50:28] This is our number two action movie hero, and that's right coming in big

[50:32] We got the Sumerian himself a king by his own hand Conan the barbarian with a whopping

[50:40] 78 points out of 90 that is huge and

[50:45] Honestly, he might have managed to take number one if he hadn't had a weak

[50:50] Radness score from mr.. Dan McCoy Dan McCoy coming in as the spoiler this time

[50:56] That means there can be only one that's right the black mamba

[51:01] Beatrix kiddo

[51:02] Aka the bride she killed bill and she killed our hearts

[51:07] She comes in with 80 points just beating out Conan the barbarian

[51:12] So that's it there you have it folks the official rankings of action movie heroes here at the flop house

[51:20] Back to you guys

[51:22] Whoa that was a shocker, so thank you so much for participating in this

[51:27] This has been the official rankings of 2024 can't wait to revisit them in 2025

[51:33] Okay, so for the flop us. This has been a flop house mini. We are part of the maximum fun podcast Network

[51:39] We are produced by Alexander Smith. He is known as Howell Doughty on the internet. He's a musician. He's a podcast producer

[51:46] He's great for the flop house. I've been Stuart Wellington. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm an Elliot Kaelin can't believe those results

[51:52] Bye

[51:59] Maximum fun a worker owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you

FH Mini 117 – The Definitive Action Hero Ranking Pt. 2

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