The Flop House: Episode Two - Memory

Dan McCoy

[0:00] Tonight in the Flophouse, we examine the Billy Zane vehicle of memory.

[0:05] Surely the best Billy Zane movie since the last one.

[0:30] Since we spent a lot of time at the beginning of the first episode simply going over the synopsis,

[0:40] we're going to start this episode with the Wikipedia synopsis of memory.

[0:45] While lecturing in Brazil, Dr. Taylor Briggs, Billy Zane, an American authority on memory,

[0:52] consults on a patient found deep in the Amazon.

[0:55] During the exam, Taylor is accidentally exposed to a mysterious substance.

[1:00] Which unlocks a series of memories in his brain.

[1:03] Memories that are not his.

[1:05] The memory of a killer who committed crimes before Taylor was even born.

[1:09] A killer who is closer than you think.

[1:11] The mystery will rip open Taylor Briggs' well-crafted life,

[1:15] estranging his relationship with his best friend, Dr. Deepra Ching,

[1:19] leading him into romance with a beautiful enigmatic painter, Stephanie Jacobs, played by Tricia Helfer,

[1:26] straining his relationship with his mom's best friend, Carol, and Margaret,

[1:31] causing him to question the surrogate father figure in his life, Dr. Max Lichtenstein.

[1:36] And now we join the others in the Flophouse.

[1:40] Hello everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[1:44] Simon's laughing because I'm putting my radio voice on.

[1:47] Yeah, he is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47] He's so funny.

[1:48] Hello!

[1:49] Welcome to the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[1:51] The show where we discuss movies that aren't that good.

[1:56] It sucks so bad.

Stuart Wellington

[1:57] It makes me die inside.

Dan McCoy

[1:59] Tonight we talk about the movie Memory, starring Billy Zane.

[2:03] And I think, up front, the Billy Zane issue.

[2:07] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[2:07] Well, and I think it's fair to call it an issue.

Dan McCoy

[2:09] What are your feelings on Billy Zane?

Stuart Wellington

[2:11] I hate Billy Zane.

[2:12] I really do.

[2:13] Yeah?

[2:14] Yeah, I really do.

[2:14] In all scenes, he constantly has a smug look on his face.

[2:18] No matter what line he's delivering or what the emotional context is,

[2:21] he's just kind of like,

[2:22] whatever, man.

[2:24] I don't care.

Dan McCoy

[2:25] I have to admit a sneaking fondness for Billy Zane.

[2:29] I think it's stupid.

[2:30] I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[2:30] He looks like a fucking rapist.

[2:31] He looks like he would probably rape you.

[2:33] That's the thing.

Dan McCoy

[2:34] He might, but he would do it.

[2:36] Wishful thinking?

[2:37] Oh, man.

[2:38] A little wishful thinking.

[2:39] Oh, man.

[2:40] Like, if Billy Zane raped you, he would do it with sort of a sly, understated humor.

Stuart Wellington

[2:45] No, there's a brutish, thug-like quality to him that makes him very unalikeable.

Dan McCoy

[2:51] See?

[2:52] I find his smugness somehow sort of charming.

Stuart Wellington

[2:55] Endearing?

[2:55] Sure.

[2:56] No, I don't think so.

[2:56] I've had a really complex relationship with Billy Zane.

[2:59] Explain.

[3:00] I watched Late Consequence, the Zalman King movie, when I was pretty young, and it was

[3:04] really erotic.

[3:05] Sure.

[3:06] So I always just kind of attribute...

[3:08] Now, like a pretty association thing.

[3:11] Yeah, really.

Dan McCoy

[3:11] Was it erotic because of Billy Zane, though, or was it just...

Stuart Wellington

[3:14] Well, I think the problem is that he was just post-pubescent, like, so that shit's all

[3:19] wrapped up in his brain now.

[3:20] It's all twisted together, and he doesn't know where the Billy Zane ends and the eroticism

[3:24] begins.

Dan McCoy

[3:24] You're saying he gets aroused whenever he sees Billy Zane.

Stuart Wellington

[3:26] Well, again, not necessarily.

[3:29] I think the two are twisted together.

[3:31] I actually think Dane's close to the mark here, guys.

[3:35] It wasn't Joan Severance.

Dan McCoy

[3:37] I like the fact that I...

[3:38] You know, I watched Billy Zane in this movie, and I feel like Billy Zane believes he is

[3:41] in some sort of light comedy.

Stuart Wellington

[3:44] Billy Zane believes he's in a light comedy in every movie he's in, because he's constantly

[3:48] like smirking or sneering at everyone, and he wears a shitload of turtlenecks in this

[3:54] movie.

Dan McCoy

[3:54] Well, all I'm going to say is that some of his...

Stuart Wellington

[3:55] Turtlenecks, a lot of burgundy sweaters.

[3:58] Fine light sweaters.

[3:59] Light sweaters.

Dan McCoy

[4:00] I'm not saying that we shouldn't address his wardrobe, because this movie was clearly

[4:04] sponsored by Al Bean.

[4:07] He's either wearing a v-neck or he's wearing a turtleneck, and it's like burgundy.

Stuart Wellington

[4:11] Very gentle colors.

[4:13] Like a nice maroon, or like a tobacco color.

[4:15] Like, you know, like a nice chocolatey brown.

Dan McCoy

[4:18] Yeah.

[4:18] Now, this movie and exposition.

[4:22] Was there very much?

Stuart Wellington

[4:24] Literally, if it's possible for there to be 200% exposition in a movie, this movie had

[4:30] 200% exposition.

[4:32] It was all exposition.

[4:33] Really?

[4:34] Yes.

[4:34] Absolutely.

[4:35] I agree with you, sir.

[4:37] We are of a mind.

Dan McCoy

[4:39] A key example, I would say, probably the point in which there's a to-do list that fills the

[4:45] entire screen.

[4:46] And one of the things on the to-do list is pick up scuba gear.

[4:50] And then later, lo and behold, in the movie, what skill does Billy Zane have that he needs

[4:55] to call upon to solve the mystery but his scuba diving?

Stuart Wellington

[4:59] He has scuba diving abilities, sure.

[5:01] Maybe I'm a little harsh, but I don't really think that he needed to be able to scuba dive.

[5:07] Like, do you really feel that if that scene wasn't in the movie, you wouldn't have known

Dan McCoy

[5:11] what was going on?

Stuart Wellington

[5:13] My favorite exposition moment was when he and his Asian friend with the weird mustache.

Dan McCoy

[5:18] Why do you have to bring up these Asian friends?

Stuart Wellington

[5:20] Well, it's because that was his friend.

[5:21] Okay, fine.

[5:22] His friend.

[5:23] His friend.

[5:23] He only has literally one friend in the movie.

[5:25] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[5:26] His mustachioed friend.

Stuart Wellington

[5:28] In any case, his friend and he, they're at that bar, and they're talking, and his friend's

[5:33] talking about, like, you can't worry about whether or not you yourself will get Alzheimer's

[5:37] someday like your mom who has Alzheimer's.

[5:39] And, like, they go on this conversation that's like, oh, so he's not only a good guy and

[5:43] really smart, but also really into Alzheimer's research.

[5:46] Got it.

[5:47] Which brings up another problem I have with this goddamn movie.

[5:50] The fucking movie was about memories, so they made the character an Alzheimer's researcher.

[5:55] Had nothing to do with the plot.

[5:56] It just seems really fitting.

Dan McCoy

[5:58] Simon, that's good screenwriting.

Stuart Wellington

[6:00] No, it's not good screenwriting.

[6:01] There's nothing that makes that good.

[6:03] What makes that good?

Dan McCoy

[6:04] You give the character, you see, you give the character a personal problem that relates to

[6:08] the theme of the movie.

[6:10] And the theme is memory, as exemplified by the title of the film, Memory, which is explained

[6:15] to us.

[6:16] First, the first shot of the film is a dictionary definition of memory for all of the non-English

[6:21] speakers in the audience.

Stuart Wellington

[6:23] Frankly, to tell the truth, fucking for the first hour and a half, I had no fucking idea

[6:27] what was going on.

Dan McCoy

[6:28] Literally no idea whatsoever.

Stuart Wellington

[6:29] Now, granted, I'd been drinking and I was texting somebody most of the time, but to tell

[6:34] the truth, no idea.

[6:35] I just saw Billy Zane smirking most of the time.

Dan McCoy

[6:37] I would say it would be fair to call it a slow-starting movie.

Stuart Wellington

[6:42] Well, I wouldn't even say that it was slow-starting so much as it was like a weird series of tableaus

[6:46] that didn't really have anything to do with each other.

[6:49] Like, Billy Zane researching Alzheimer's.

[6:52] Billy Zane in Brazil.

[6:54] Billy Zane tooling around town.

Dan McCoy

[6:56] Well, let's address this a little bit.

[6:59] The thrust of the film is Billy Zane starts getting memories that aren't his, and that leads

[7:05] him into this mystery.

[7:06] It's a mystery.

[7:06] And his memories are like, these are memories that some family member had that he's remembering.

Stuart Wellington

[7:11] I really liked all the bits where all of a sudden he would close his eyes and then he

[7:16] would be in a memory.

[7:17] Yeah, that was really good too.

[7:18] Because it was really true to life.

[7:20] Sure, that's the way I experienced memory.

[7:23] Well, that was the best part about it, is that instead of, it wasn't just that he had

[7:26] his parents' memories, he experienced them in like a living way.

[7:30] Like he would live the memory in his waking life.

Dan McCoy

[7:33] Well, whenever I have a memory, it's like an epileptic seizure.

[7:36] I literally, I disengage from life as it is and then it's like a blackout.

[7:43] So that's why I try not to remember things in day to day life.

[7:46] Sure.

[7:47] But the reason he starts having these mysteries, the film starts out in Sao Paulo, where he

[7:52] gets exposed to this dust.

Stuart Wellington

[7:55] He's been used in religious ceremonies the world over for 2,000 years as the movie explained.

[8:00] 2 million.

[8:01] No, it wasn't 2 million.

[8:01] It was 2 million.

[8:03] No way it was 2 million.

[8:04] It was literally, they said 2 million.

[8:06] Are you sure they didn't say 2,000?

Dan McCoy

[8:07] Civilized societies for 2 million years have been using this dust.

Stuart Wellington

[8:11] 2 million years.

[8:12] World over.

[8:13] Weirdly enough, without any form of communication.

[8:16] It's called Red Ochre.

Dan McCoy

[8:17] But anyway, he goes back to the United States and literally the whole opening is just a plot

[8:24] device.

[8:25] So that he can start having the memories.

[8:27] So that he can experience someone else's memories.

[8:29] Right.

[8:30] We don't return to Brazil.

[8:32] He doesn't encounter some sort of Brazilian cult operating in America.

Stuart Wellington

[8:37] We went to memory monsters or some shit.

[8:39] You know what?

[8:40] Here's the thing about this movie that pisses me off so much.

[8:42] Like, oh god, I can't handle these twist movies.

[8:45] Like, some kid found out that he was adopted by a serial killer and his real dad was the cop

[8:51] who was hunting the serial killer.

[8:52] Like, it seems like if anyone comes up with a bullshit idea, I need to make a movie around

[8:56] this retarded thing.

[8:57] Like, wouldn't that be weird if that happened?

[8:59] So they make him go to Brazil where he accidentally touches powder that makes you experience your

[9:04] parents' memories.

[9:05] Later, turns out, that's a fucking lucky break because one of his parents is a murderer.

[9:10] Fucking pretty nice.

[9:13] And this all becomes clear in the last five minutes of the movie when he stumbles upon a

[9:18] dungeon of evidence.

[9:19] Sure, let's call it a dungeon.

[9:21] It's a dungeon of evidence.

Dan McCoy

[9:22] I like to call it an evidence dungeon.

Stuart Wellington

[9:25] Well, in any case, it's certainly not a basement.

[9:28] It's a dungeon.

[9:29] It's far too...

[9:29] Strangely, in the course of defeating the old woman that Billy Zane is luckily able to

[9:35] overpower, he manages to destroy all the evidence.

[9:39] So, case closed.

[9:40] Billy Zane is exonerated.

[9:43] The nightmare is over.

Dan McCoy

[9:44] I like to call that the Tangled Cash ending.

Stuart Wellington

[9:46] Yep, where everything explodes and then job well done.

Dan McCoy

[9:50] Way to go, Musk.

[9:50] By the way, two episodes, two Tango and Cash mentions.

[9:54] We're only two episodes of this podcast.

[9:56] We've already mentioned Tango and Cash twice.

[9:58] But if you recall, Tango and Cash blow up Jack Pounce's evil compound and all of the evidence

[10:06] that would exonerate them.

Stuart Wellington

[10:07] Now, in this case, yeah, it's swap Tango and Cash for Billy Zane and subject pounds.

[10:11] You have Ann-Margaret, the old woman who I think at the point is passed out when it explodes.

[10:18] It's true.

[10:19] We don't know if she was passed out or if maybe there had been some horrible poison.

[10:23] She could stab with a syringe.

[10:24] Maybe it was a knockout thing.

[10:26] Maybe she was unconscious.

[10:27] She's a poison or she's burned to death.

[10:29] He beat up an elderly woman who turns out, well, spoiler alert, turns out that Ann-Margaret's

[10:35] his fucking real mom through a retarded series of things that aren't worth discussing.

[10:39] And she's a murderer.

[10:40] And she bases her murdering on an angel?

[10:45] Part of the lesser known, like, I don't know if that's part of the Tetragrammaton or not.

[10:49] I don't know where you'd find that.

[10:50] Wait, did you just say Tetragrammaton?

[10:52] Yes.

[10:52] Yes, the four major books of the Jewish religion.

[10:56] I don't know if it comes from folklore or what.

Dan McCoy

[10:58] Now, Simon, you said something about a really cool angel.

[11:02] What was she based on?

Stuart Wellington

[11:04] What, you mean Kefzeal?

Dan McCoy

[11:06] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[11:06] Kefzeal the angel.

[11:08] The angel of dead children.

Dan McCoy

[11:11] Now, if I recall, she used that name, Kefzeal.

Stuart Wellington

[11:15] Yes, she did.

[11:15] When she went on the internet to find girls.

Dan McCoy

[11:17] Yeah, she used that as an I am handle.

[11:20] Yep, we would call it a handle.

Stuart Wellington

[11:21] In this internet age.

[11:23] Animus is good, too.

[11:24] Like the whole MySpace stalking age that we live in.

[11:27] She would stalk young girls via instant messenger.

[11:30] And she used the name Kefzeal, but she printed it backwards.

[11:36] Which I find weird, because presumably all the little girls she's trying to kidnap are not

[11:40] familiar with hebraic folklore.

[11:43] Maybe the parents are.

[11:44] Otherwise, they'd read the name and be like, wait a minute.

Dan McCoy

[11:46] Wait a minute.

Stuart Wellington

[11:47] My daughter's being I am by someone named Kefzeal.

[11:49] That's the angel of dead children.

Dan McCoy

[11:51] Well, I mean, either way, what this movie has taught me is that she's able to I am little

[11:57] girls without knowing.

Stuart Wellington

[11:58] With a beauty.

[11:59] Sure.

[12:00] She doesn't.

[12:00] Well, I think what Dan's going for is more like, what, did you just start typing in random

[12:04] little girl sounding names?

[12:05] Like, um, daddy's little girl.

[12:08] Or, um, baby princess.

[12:10] Just like, shit, I'm not coming up with anything.

Dan McCoy

[12:12] Spoiled rotten 24.

[12:13] Yep.

[12:14] Or even just trying like names like, um, Janie Anderson.

[12:18] Sure.

[12:19] 12.

[12:19] Janie Anderson 12.

[12:20] Why not?

Stuart Wellington

[12:21] And like, so Janie, is that 12 just like a random number?

[12:24] Or are you 12 years old?

[12:25] Like, perfect.

[12:26] I'll seem to be kidnapping you.

[12:28] It's me, your new friend.

[12:29] Left Kezeb.

[12:31] Or whatever the fuck it is backwards.

Dan McCoy

[12:32] And Janie Anderson, 12 years old, of course, is like, oh, Left Kezeb.

Stuart Wellington

[12:37] My new favorite internet friend.

Dan McCoy

[12:39] I will meet you in the mysterious forest.

Stuart Wellington

[12:43] Where you will surely not kidnap me.

[12:45] Thanks for sending me that really cool, uh, Fly to the Concords video clip for me to watch.

Dan McCoy

[12:50] It's weird.

[12:51] Uh, I do like having tea parties with life-size little girl dolls.

Stuart Wellington

[12:57] Yeah, that was a really creepy part of the movie where, uh, apparently Kev's the help in addition to murdering little girls.

[13:02] What she does is she kidnaps them and then makes like a plaster mold of their face and then makes a wax mask of it.

[13:08] Puts the wax mask on a doll.

[13:11] And she then seats that doll at a really big long table for a tea party.

[13:15] Then presumably later on she kills the little girl.

[13:17] And then when new little girls get kidnapped, they all enjoy a super creepy tea party.

Dan McCoy

[13:22] With all the beautiful little girls.

[13:25] All my little babies.

[13:28] You know, dolls...

Stuart Wellington

[13:29] That's my Ann-Margaret impression, by the way.

Dan McCoy

[13:32] Dolls are naturally scary.

[13:33] That's true.

[13:34] Uh, somebody figured this out in Hollywood and now...

Stuart Wellington

[13:38] That man's name was Billy Zane.

Dan McCoy

[13:39] Now, um, I...

[13:41] Speaking of which, by the way, uh, if I could go back in time and I had, say, a high school improv, uh, troop.

[13:48] Yep.

[13:49] I would...

[13:49] A troop?

[13:50] I would name them the Billy Zanies.

[13:52] I would throw that out there.

Stuart Wellington

[13:53] The not the Zaniacs?

[13:54] The Billy Zaniacs.

[13:56] The Billy Zaniacs.

[13:57] The Billy Insaniacs.

Dan McCoy

[13:58] Funster Chuggalhuts.

Stuart Wellington

[14:00] The Zaniac?

[14:01] Funster...

[14:01] Yep, the Billy Zane Funster Chuggalhuts.

[14:05] Well, if you'll remember, there was that part where Billy Zane was having one of the memories

[14:16] and he said that the abductor doesn't seem as fixated on killing the children as wanting to protect them.

[14:25] Hmm.

[14:25] However, the girls, little girls did die.

[14:27] That's worth mentioning.

[14:28] So, Kev Zane, not that great of a protector.

Dan McCoy

[14:31] Well, girls get scared when forced to endure...

Stuart Wellington

[14:34] Creepy tea parties.

[14:35] Sure they did.

[14:36] And to tell you the truth, dude, I think, uh, if you're gonna, like, choose Kevzeal as

[14:40] your, like, tagline...

[14:42] Your animus.

[14:43] Uh, yeah, as your animus.

[14:44] I think you're kind of, um, setting yourself up for failure if your goal is not to lead

[14:49] to dead children.

[14:50] Yeah.

[14:50] As the angel of dead children.

[14:52] Yes, specifically, you know, you might want to go with, I don't know, um, more gentle

[14:56] middle of the road angel.

[14:57] Angel of living children, let's say.

[14:59] Sure.

[15:00] Now, so, the, uh, evidence dungeon at the end.

[15:03] I thought it was really cool that there was, like, that really wiggly hall.

[15:07] That was the fucking weirdest part.

[15:08] Now, so, I mean, obviously she has her room where she does all her, like, um, abductee

[15:14] research.

[15:14] Like, her notes, like, uh, things to do today.

[15:17] Abduct more girls, underlined.

[15:19] Like, highlighter.

[15:20] Like, what the fuck?

[15:21] Right.

[15:21] Like, I don't do that.

[15:22] And I'm smart.

[15:23] Right.

[15:24] I'm not a murderer.

[15:25] The idea being that, like, it's the kind of to-do list that someone would write who doesn't

[15:30] normally write to-do lists.

[15:31] It's like, you know what?

[15:32] I'm gonna write a to-do list.

[15:34] First.

[15:34] Seven o'clock.

[15:35] Wake up.

[15:36] Eight o'clock.

[15:37] Go to work.

[15:39] And like, you know what?

[15:39] You don't gotta write that shit out, because you're going to do it.

[15:41] Right.

[15:42] So, as an abductor, you don't have to write out, like, today, must remember to abduct more

[15:48] girls!

[15:48] Exclamation point.

[15:49] Nine o'clock.

Dan McCoy

[15:50] Plan abduction.

[15:50] Ten o'clock.

[15:51] Execute abduction.

[15:53] Eleven o'clock.

[15:54] Enjoy abduction.

Stuart Wellington

[15:56] Enjoy fruits of abduction.

[15:59] So, there was that room.

[16:00] However, the adjoining room was a really twisty hall, almost like a funhouse hallway, with a

[16:07] bunch of weird, like, crazy person words and phrases written everywhere.

Dan McCoy

[16:12] Yeah, it was like the hall that you would walk down if you went to, like, some church's,

[16:15] like, haunted house.

Stuart Wellington

[16:16] Sure, or really, like, I don't know, like a funhouse somewhere.

Dan McCoy

[16:19] Like, JC's haunted house.

[16:21] I don't know where she got it.

Stuart Wellington

[16:22] And it says things like, abortion's bad, or something on the, or no, abortion rules,

[16:27] or something.

Dan McCoy

[16:27] I don't know, it's scary, right?

[16:28] No, I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[16:28] Well, I guess if it was a church and they were trying to be scary, they would probably

[16:32] say abortion rules.

[16:34] Yeah, you're right.

[16:34] Because that would make it scary, because otherwise it wouldn't be a house of horrors, it

Dan McCoy

[16:38] would be a house of truth.

[16:39] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[16:40] In any case, I remember seeing the hallway and wondering whether or not she was a carpenter.

[16:46] How she explained that construction to the drywall installers.

[16:50] Like, I'm gonna need, like, I don't know, like a really twisty hallway that a crazy person

[16:53] might have, you know, if I was crazy.

[16:55] But then, though, let's not forget that at the end of that crazy hallway was the room

[17:00] of ultimate clues, like the ultimate shits.

Dan McCoy

[17:03] Wait, after traveling through that twisted, like, twisted mind.

Stuart Wellington

[17:07] The twisted mind.

[17:08] He gets to, like, the reasons.

[17:11] Mm-hmm.

[17:11] The answers.

[17:12] Sure.

[17:12] Which featured a really big picture of her.

[17:15] A gigantic, like, blown-up photograph of, a contemporary photograph of Anne Margaret in

[17:21] the middle of the wall.

[17:22] In the middle, like a giant spider in the middle of a web.

[17:24] Sure.

[17:25] Yeah.

[17:25] It seems kind of weird.

Dan McCoy

[17:27] To be fair, it did not have murderous written on it in big red and sharp.

Stuart Wellington

[17:31] Like, why am I such a murderer?

[17:33] Question mark.

[17:35] But then it was surrounded with, like, for instance, apparently, when you get discharged

[17:38] from a mental hospital, they give you your own report.

[17:41] Like, here's why you're crazy.

[17:43] Which she had.

[17:45] The wall, along with a bunch of photos and other damning evidence.

[17:48] Yeah, it was a really weird post-it board.

[17:51] Now, I'd like to point out that the, uh, the co-writer, director of the film, based

[17:57] his screenplay, and I'm assuming part of his directorial cues, on the novel, um, the same

[18:05] name, Memory.

[18:06] Sure.

[18:06] Which they mention, um, in the opening credits.

[18:09] Yep.

[18:09] Wait, dude, did they mention them in the closing credits?

[18:12] In the closing credits?

[18:13] The first credit is, please go buy my book.

[18:16] Please.

[18:17] Now, having watched the movie.

[18:18] It's not that plaintive.

Dan McCoy

[18:19] Uh, having watched the movie, um, I will go buy this book, because it's obviously very

[18:24] good.

[18:24] Yeah, it's a chance.

Stuart Wellington

[18:26] Yes.

[18:26] Um, I would say that it seems like it's probably a tremendous novel.

Dan McCoy

[18:30] I only want to buy it once it's adapted into a graphic novel.

Stuart Wellington

[18:33] Sure, that's fair.

[18:34] Mm-hmm.

[18:35] Too many words are really annoying.

Dan McCoy

[18:37] I want that there, I want there to be a novelization of the film based on the novel.

[18:43] Preferably written by Alan Dean Foster.

[18:45] Okay.

[18:45] And then I want that novelization.

[18:46] David Foster Wallace?

[18:47] Yes.

[18:48] David Foster Wallace.

[18:49] I would like.

Stuart Wellington

[18:50] We'll be writing the novelization of the movie Memory based on the novel Memory.

[18:54] And then I would like.

[18:55] Based on an original graphic novel.

Dan McCoy

[18:56] Then I would like a graphic novel based on one of David Foster Wallace's footnotes.

Stuart Wellington

[19:00] Based on David Foster Wallace.

[19:02] Sure.

[19:02] About him reading the book Memory.

Dan McCoy

[19:04] It'd be like a supposedly fun memory I'll never rent again.

Stuart Wellington

[19:07] Sure.

[19:07] A great memory.

[19:09] So I'd like to introduce a new segment that we're going to have in this podcast.

[19:13] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, baby.

[19:15] Yeah, chill out, guys.

[19:16] I got this one.

[19:17] Be careful.

[19:18] You know, don't worry about it.

[19:19] I got this one.

[19:20] It's called Memories of Memory.

[19:23] What is literally your favorite moment in the movie Memory?

[19:27] Daniel.

Dan McCoy

[19:27] I mean, I may be stealing it from you.

[19:29] I don't know what you're thinking of.

[19:31] But I know that you made us watch it a couple times.

[19:34] There was a moment at which mustache friend scientist said, hey, remember that dust?

[19:39] We happened to feed it to these mice.

[19:42] And you know what happened?

[19:43] And Billy Zane reacted in a way.

[19:45] He's like, yeah, I remember.

Stuart Wellington

[19:48] When he says this, he's like, he says, do you remember those rats that I fed the powder to?

[19:53] Billy Zane's reaction with a slightly arched eye voice to say, yeah?

[19:59] He says it really weird and like, yeah, I remember.

[20:03] That was some good shit.

[20:04] It's really fucking weird.

Dan McCoy

[20:05] His response is as if he was saying, remember when we got those two tie hookers?

[20:11] That's a pretty good memory.

Stuart Wellington

[20:12] My favorite memory is, okay, there's this awesome part where Billy Zane's walking down the street.

[20:18] And he sees a painting that's very reminiscent of the image he's been having from these memories.

[20:24] He then goes to where the artist has her studio.

[20:27] Walks up to her and says, I'm interested in buying one of your paintings.

[20:30] Her reaction is to say, rather snidely, would you buy a lot of art?

[20:35] Which was kind of weird.

[20:37] He handles it as best as he's able.

[20:40] And then she asks him out on a date to drink some hot chocolate.

[20:44] During said date, they had no point in talking about the painting they'd like to purchase.

[20:47] They pretty much just talk about their lives, get to know one another.

[20:50] And then she promptly leaves as she has another class to teach.

[20:53] And you know what?

[20:54] He doesn't end up buying the painting.

[20:56] Whole thing, I think that part's really fucking weird.

[20:58] Now, my memory.

[21:00] You know, if this movie taught me anything, it's that memories are fickle beasts.

[21:05] They're creatures that you can't really, you can't trap into a little box.

[21:09] But I think the thing that I'm going to carry with me forever, probably, till I die,

[21:13] is the end of the film when Billy Zane realizes that the girl that he's in love with, his love interest,

[21:22] that Simon just mentioned, Stephanie Jacobs, who knows her name,

[21:24] was actually the girl that was kidnapped that he was seeing in the memories of his dad or mom.

[21:30] I don't actually remember.

[21:31] No, it was his mom.

[21:32] It was his mom and Margaret.

Dan McCoy

[21:33] The ultimate murderer, Angel Cavsdale!

Stuart Wellington

[21:37] Nonetheless, it was just really touching.

[21:41] Sure it was.

[21:41] And I think it was an excellent dating mom.

Dan McCoy

[21:44] Sure.

[21:45] Can we take a moment just to talk about, I mean, other than Billy Zane.

Stuart Wellington

[21:49] Sometimes a memory is a nightmare.

Dan McCoy

[21:51] For a film that does not, not a big movie.

[21:57] No.

Stuart Wellington

[21:58] But a great movie.

Dan McCoy

[22:01] There's some name actors in this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[22:03] Sure there are.

[22:03] Billy Zane, for instance.

Dan McCoy

[22:05] Other than Billy Zane, Dennis Hopper is in this movie.

[22:08] Yes, Dennis Hopper is in.

[22:09] As we've mentioned.

[22:10] Never made a bad movie.

[22:11] Anne Margaret in this movie.

[22:13] Less well known, but his love interest,

[22:17] Trisha Helfer from the new Battlestar Galactica.

[22:20] Kind of an interesting cast.

[22:24] Sorry, I got a reply to my text message.

[22:27] Stuart is getting a text message in the middle of this podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[22:30] Maybe it's a text message from his memories.

[22:33] From Kev Seal.

[22:34] Hey, Stu.

[22:36] Time to get murdered, dude.

[22:41] Yeah, Dennis Hopper isn't it.

[22:43] Also, that chick from Battlestar Galactica.

[22:44] Are you suggesting that sometimes, I would say Oscar caliber actors are put in a position where they can make either...

[22:53] An exquisite film.

[22:54] Well, like a big money movie or just kind of like small character piece.

[22:59] Well, let's call it just like a really cerebral movie, you know?

[23:02] Like it's a thinking man's movie because it's about memories and shit.

Dan McCoy

[23:06] Uh, dude, I totally can note the sarcasm in your voice.

[23:11] And I think you're doing this movie an injustice.

Stuart Wellington

[23:13] It's a retarded movie.

[23:15] It made me sad.

[23:15] The whole time I watched it, I kept wishing that I had died.

[23:18] I wasn't watching it anymore.

Dan McCoy

[23:19] Yeah, their agent's really good.

[23:21] There's this movie about a memorologist.

Stuart Wellington

[23:23] Sure, a master memoriest.

[23:25] Here's, making that character an Alzheimer's researcher in a movie about memories is like in Ghost Rider,

[23:32] how the main character's last name was Blaze.

[23:34] What a great-ass coincidence that his last name informs the fact that he will later be on fire.

[23:38] It's not good script writing.

Dan McCoy

[23:39] It's his name in the comic.

Stuart Wellington

[23:40] Yeah, and that's stupid too then.

Dan McCoy

[23:42] We discussed this in the last podcast, but I had to cut it out for time purposes.

[23:48] The reason why we selected this film, which was we saw the trailer for it in front of the Korean horror movie The Host,

[23:58] and there was a huge response in the theater when we saw this trailer.

[24:03] Huge response of laughter.

[24:06] More laughter than I've ever seen for a supposedly serious trailer.

Stuart Wellington

[24:10] It was the weirdest phenomenon I've ever seen.

[24:12] It was a trailer that clearly took itself very seriously and was very earnest about memory.

[24:18] and the nightmare of memories, and sometimes memories about murderers are scary.

[24:23] And right when it finished, the entire theater cracked up.

Dan McCoy

[24:28] Well, and it was also a trailer that clearly was edited on an iMac.

[24:33] Like, someone had an iMovie.

[24:35] Well, it's a great tool.

[24:36] There was no money left over to make a trailer after getting big stars like Billy Zane.

[24:41] Sure.

[24:41] That shit don't come free.

[24:43] Oh shit.

Stuart Wellington

[24:53] Um, well, the flop house.

[24:55] Check it out.

[24:57] That sucked.

[24:58] That was the worst bumper ever.

Dan McCoy

[25:05] So I think that we're probably ready to make a judgment on this movie.

[25:11] Now, let me remind you of the official flop house category.

Stuart Wellington

[25:15] Which I would like to know that.

Dan McCoy

[25:18] Uh, there's number one.

Stuart Wellington

[25:20] Oh, that's right.

[25:20] I remember this.

Dan McCoy

[25:21] Number one, a movie that you would not recommend to anyone.

Stuart Wellington

[25:23] That's right, because I'm a goddamn curmudgeon.

[25:25] I remember that.

[25:26] Number two.

Dan McCoy

[25:27] There's, uh, the movie that you would recommend to someone because it's, uh, bad in a way that

[25:35] you find funny.

[25:36] Sure.

[25:36] Like, a fun, bad movie.

[25:38] And number three, a movie that you secretly kind of like.

[25:40] Mm-hmm.

[25:41] Sure.

[25:41] So, Simon, what category would you put this in?

Stuart Wellington

[25:44] Well, let's do so.

[25:45] Steeley pointed out, um, a lot of what I said tonight was driven with sarcasm.

[25:51] Really?

[25:52] Yeah, no fake.

[25:53] Remember?

[25:53] Did I say that?

[25:53] No, you said that a minute ago, remember?

[25:55] Okay.

[25:55] Um, I thought this movie was retarded.

[25:59] Now, that said, I hate this movie.

[26:02] And, um, like I said, I wished I was dead.

[26:05] I might recommend it to other people to watch because it's so bad.

[26:10] With the caveat, though, that you have to watch it with, I mean, with a large group of people.

[26:15] Because it's the kind of movie where if you watch it, like, with one other person and

[26:18] you're both just actually sitting down to watch it, have a good watch.

[26:21] Sure.

[26:22] You're gonna wanna, you're gonna wanna, I don't know, chop your own legs off.

Dan McCoy

[26:25] Alright, Stuart, what do you say?

[26:27] The thing is, uh, I totally recommend it.

[26:30] Uh, it was awesome.

Stuart Wellington

[26:32] You were a goddamn liar.

[26:33] No, I'm not lying.

[26:34] You were a goddamn liar.

[26:35] Dude.

[26:36] You watched a third of it.

[26:39] Here's the thing.

[26:40] I got exactly what I wanted out of this movie.

[26:42] Stealth?

[26:43] Not so much.

[26:44] Stealth kind of sucked my dong.

[26:46] Not in a good way.

[26:47] Like, you kind of nibbled on it.

Dan McCoy

[26:49] Yeah, I would say that I would recommend it to people.

[26:52] You're both insane.

[26:53] No, no.

[26:54] I recommend it on the grounds of it being bad.

[26:57] But it is bad in a really fascinating way.

[26:59] Like, like I said, Billy Zane has some really offbeat line readings that just don't make any

[27:06] sense at all.

[27:07] It has the craziest plot device in the world.

[27:11] Like, like they start out in Brazil.

[27:13] And they're like, you know what?

[27:15] We're going to give you the power to have, uh, your parents' memories.

Stuart Wellington

[27:18] Accidentally touch a powder that makes you have the memories that your parents had before

[27:22] you were born.

Dan McCoy

[27:22] Yeah, and as you say, uh, it's very convenient that one of his parents happens to be a murderer.

[27:27] It's not like...

[27:28] Really fucking works out nicely.

Stuart Wellington

[27:29] That way it's not a bunch of trite or mundane memories.

[27:32] Like, that was my first, I don't know, ice cream social I ever went to.

Dan McCoy

[27:36] Creepy, I'm reliving the memory of my parents fucking for the first time.

[27:41] This is my parents going to a fucking really good sock hop.

Stuart Wellington

[27:44] Yep, a fucking box social.

[27:46] You dick.

[27:48] It would almost be like they also had given him the last name, like, Dr. Jeremiah Memory

[27:52] is having a bunch of weird-ass memories.

[27:55] Like, it's so stupid.

Dan McCoy

[27:56] In a world full of memories.

Stuart Wellington

[27:58] Jeremiah Memory has to unravel two new memories.

Dan McCoy

[28:01] You know, it's just that kind of my...

Stuart Wellington

[28:03] Dr. Jeremiah Memory.

[28:04] By the way.

[28:05] It's copyrighted.

[28:05] The thing is, it's my religious beliefs.

[28:08] In this world, there are no coincidences, dude.

[28:10] Sure, that's fair.

[28:11] So I prefer that sarcasm.

[28:13] No, too bad.

[28:14] Everything happens for a reason.

[28:15] Nope, go to hell.

Dan McCoy

[28:16] Everything happens for a reason.

[28:17] No, it doesn't.

[28:18] All right.

[28:19] Well, let's put memory behind us.

Stuart Wellington

[28:21] Sure, let's forget it.

[28:22] Let's forget memory.

[28:23] Let's forget that memory if we can.

[28:25] Memory, I said.

[28:28] Dude, I said memory.

[28:29] Memory.

[28:33] Dan's losing his chin.

[28:34] I think Dan wants us to talk about...

[28:34] Someone else is going to have to plow this ship.

[28:36] I think Dan wants us to talk about...

[28:37] Hold on.

[28:37] What do we got?

[28:38] See, what the fuck?

[28:38] Come on, Dan.

[28:38] Wait, wait.

[28:39] No, what do you got?

[28:39] We're walking all over.

[28:40] No, go.

[28:40] What do you got?

[28:41] I think Dan wants to talk about other movies that we might have seen other than memory recently.

[28:45] Sure, that we would recommend.

[28:47] We might want to recommend.

[28:48] Sincerely.

[28:48] Simon, you go first.

[28:49] Sure.

[28:50] Kind of an obvious one.

[28:52] Kind of an obvious one.

[28:53] I think I'm going to steal a lot of people's thunder on this one.

[28:56] But I saw Superbad the other day, and it was hilarious.

[28:59] It was an incredibly hilarious, great, hilarious movie.

[29:04] I just totally watched a couple episodes from the second season of Rome, and they were really good.

Dan McCoy

[29:10] Does that count as a movie?

Stuart Wellington

[29:11] Dan, your thoughts.

[29:12] Does that count as a movie?

Dan McCoy

[29:14] I don't...

[29:14] You know, it's undefined what we're recommending here.

[29:17] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[29:17] Okay, then let me pull this back.

[29:19] Let me rip, rip, rip, rip.

[29:21] Instead of watching a TV show, I totally saw another trailer for a movie called Good Luck Chuck.

[29:29] Every time I think about that movie, I want to beat myself to death with a hammer.

Dan McCoy

[29:33] So if you want me to beat myself to death with a hammer, you should make me watch trailers for Good Luck Chuck.

Stuart Wellington

[29:38] I asked Stuart on Tixstreet out on a nice date to go see Good Luck Chuck.

Dan McCoy

[29:42] On a trailer.

[29:43] Just the trailer.

[29:44] I don't want to see the movie.

[29:45] Now again, again, you know, two episodes in, I think we're already seeing some trends here.

[29:50] Sure.

[29:51] One of them being that Stuart doesn't necessarily understand the purpose of this segment.

Stuart Wellington

[29:56] Like, this segment is recommend a movie you recently saw.

[29:59] Stuart's recommended is two episodes of a DVD TV show and a really annoying trailer he watched.

[30:05] A trailer that he does not recommend.

[30:07] A trailer for a movie that he really doesn't want to see.

[30:11] A trailer, by the way.

[30:14] You're like, hey, still, what's a great movie you saw recently?

[30:17] Like, uh, I read a really cool magazine article the other day.

[30:20] I'm going to check it out.

[30:21] Movie.

[30:22] What movie did you see recently that's really good?

[30:24] Okay.

[30:26] Shut the fuck out.

[30:28] Shut up.

[30:29] Actually, okay.

[30:31] Okay, cool.

[30:32] Everybody's cool.

[30:33] Okay.

[30:34] I watched Disturbia the other day.

[30:37] We did watch Disturbia.

[30:38] Uh, well, we didn't really pay attention when we first watched it.

[30:40] I watched it again.

[30:41] Okay.

[30:42] Pretty good.

[30:43] Shia LaBeouf.

[30:44] Not bad.

[30:45] Like the guy.

[30:46] Kind of weird love interest element.

[30:49] Um, and kind of the, like, the thing that kind of pushes them to battling the murderer.

[30:54] It's kind of weird.

[30:56] But, uh, pretty good.

[30:58] Right there.

[30:59] Nicely done, Stu.

[30:59] Actually.

[31:00] Luckily, um, this podcast, much like baseball, you only get three strikes, but you knocked

[31:04] it out of the park with that last one.

[31:05] Thanks, buddy.

[31:07] I tried.

[31:08] Daniel, what do you got for us?

Dan McCoy

[31:10] Uh, I watched a movie recently called, uh, The Silent Partner.

[31:14] It sounds boring.

[31:15] From the, but it wasn't.

[31:17] It was from the late, uh, 70s.

Stuart Wellington

[31:20] Sounds more boring.

Dan McCoy

[31:22] It's a, it's a, it's a thriller.

[31:24] Basically, the premise is.

[31:25] Holy shit!

[31:26] Three strikes!

Stuart Wellington

[31:27] Three strikes!

[31:28] Pull out, Dan!

[31:30] Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Dan McCoy

[31:31] All right.

[31:31] The fact that it's a thriller?

[31:32] Yes.

[31:32] It's like the third.

Stuart Wellington

[31:33] Yep, yeah.

[31:34] That's a strike.

[31:35] What else you got?

[31:35] All right.

Dan McCoy

[31:36] The premise of The Silent Partner is there's a bank teller who realizes that a guy is going

[31:42] to, uh, who's going to rob the bank.

[31:44] Okay.

[31:44] And he sort of has an idea of when this bank robbery is going to occur.

[31:48] Sure.

[31:49] So on that day, he puts some of the money in his, uh, lunchbox.

[31:54] Okay.

[31:54] And knowing that once the bank has been robbed, the police are going to think, okay, that money

[31:59] was just part of what was stolen.

[32:01] Sure.

[32:01] However, the, uh, the bank robber hears him talking about the robbery on the news and realizes

[32:08] that the money that's been reported stolen is larger than the money that he has.

[32:13] So he's then going after the guy.

[32:15] Sure.

[32:16] For the extra money.

[32:17] For the remainder.

[32:17] It's got Christopher Plummer in it as the bad guy.

[32:21] Interesting.

[32:21] Uh, the, the, the screenplay was written by Curtis Hanson who, you know, went on to direct

[32:25] L.A. Confidential in Wonder Boys.

[32:27] Really?

[32:27] And, uh, it stars Elliot Gould.

[32:29] And you know what?

[32:31] I love that there was a time in our history when Elliot Gould was a big fucking movie star.

[32:35] I agree with that.

[32:36] I think that's fair.

[32:37] You know?

[32:37] Like, it's pretty awesome that there was a period where they're like, you know what?

[32:41] This kind of goofy guy is going to be our, our star.

[32:44] He's a major star.

[32:46] He's a major motion picture star.

Stuart Wellington

[32:48] He was a really good dad on Friends.

[32:51] He was also really good in the Oceans movie.

Dan McCoy

[32:53] But now it's time to say a fond farewell.

[32:56] Yes, it is.

[32:57] So, uh.

[32:57] It's the saddest part of the show.

[32:59] I'd like to thank you for checking into the Flophouse.

[33:02] That's a, that's a, that's a catchphrase I'm trying out.

Stuart Wellington

[33:06] Which is what?

[33:06] Repeat it one more time.

[33:07] Let's get to the soundbite.

Dan McCoy

[33:08] I'd like to thank you for checking into the Flophouse.

Stuart Wellington

[33:10] Well, wouldn't we say, okay, sure.

[33:12] Checking out.

Dan McCoy

[33:13] Or checking out.

[33:14] But now.

[33:15] Renting a room.

Stuart Wellington

[33:16] Well, we, yes, that's, you know what?

[33:18] That's better.

[33:18] Because we wouldn't want to thank them for checking out.

[33:20] We would want to say.

[33:20] I'd like to thank you.

Dan McCoy

[33:21] All the time.

[33:22] I'd like to thank you listeners for renting a room with the Flophouse.

[33:25] Nice.

[33:25] There it is.

Stuart Wellington

[33:26] Look at that.

[33:26] That's called brainstorming.

Dan McCoy

[33:28] But it's time to check out for this installment.

[33:31] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[33:32] Taking the minimum of it far, sure.

[33:34] But next time you can drop off a deposit for a room.

Dan McCoy

[33:39] Next time we'll be examining the film A Sound of Thunder.

[33:42] Oh, that's right.

[33:43] We will.

[33:44] Shit.

[33:44] And Simon's looking forward to it.

[33:47] Sure I am.

[33:47] For this episode, I'm Dan McCoy.

[33:50] I'm Simon Fisher.

Stuart Wellington

[33:51] And I'm Stuart Wellington.

[33:53] Good night.

[33:55] Boom.

[33:56] Salve on.

[34:00] I was dead.

[34:01] The thing, though, is...

[34:03] Son of a bitch.

Dan McCoy

[34:04] Jesus Christ, turn it off.

Stuart Wellington

[34:06] The, um...

Dan McCoy

[34:07] What?

[34:08] No.

[34:08] Let's...

[34:08] Let's take a moment.

[34:09] I'm sincerely interested at this point.

[34:11] Let's take a moment.

[34:13] Who is texting you that you can't turn the fucking phone off?

[34:17] Who is it?

[34:18] What big-breasted woman is texting you?

Stuart Wellington

[34:21] It's certainly very...

[34:22] Medium-sized.

[34:23] It's certainly very mysterious.

[34:24] Medium-sized breasts.

The Flop House: Episode Two - Memory

Transcript

In this episode

Description