The Flop House: Episode One - Stealth

[0:00] Tonight in the Flophouse, we discuss the sentient robot film,

[0:03] Stealth. Sentient, a word I only learned how to pronounce after recording this podcast. Enjoy.

[0:30] Hello and welcome to the first episode of the Flophouse, the episode that we will look back

[0:42] on with shame in the future. This is the show where we examine a fairly recent movie of bad

[0:51] provenance and discuss it. My name is Dan McCoy. My name is Simon Fisher. I wanted the show to be

[1:00] called Creature Aberration, but we're stuck with Flophouse. And I'm Stuart Wellington,

[1:07] and I thought the Flophouse was pretty funny. So the first movie that we watched was a little

[1:15] film called Stealth. A combination of Short Circuit, 2001, Top Gun. What are some other

[1:25] robot movies? I don't think Top Gun was a robot movie. Let's count it as a robot movie. Other

[1:32] robot movies. Transformers. Yes, also like Transformers. There was a combination of

[1:36] Transformers and Stealth also. Josh Lucas, I believe, was our hero. I'm too lazy to look it

[1:42] up. I imagine that any leading man that is too bland is Josh Lucas. I think it was Cole

[1:48] Houser. I think they were the same two dudes. It's the one guy with a nom de guerre. Dirk

[1:54] Bassman. Yep, Dirk and Josh Lucas looks more like a vulture than Cole Houser. Cole Houser looks like a vulture too. And Jessica

[2:02] Beale and Ray Charles, Oscar winner Jamie Foxx. The ghosts of Ray Charles was in the movie. There were

[2:11] three hot shot... Hot doggers. We were called hot doggers. Hot doggers. And they were all anti-terrorist.

[2:21] They were also friends though. That's important. They were fast friends. They weren't only work

[2:26] colleagues, they were the best of friends. And a sentient plane was added to their team. Later,

[2:34] they had bad misgivings at the beginning. They didn't know if it was going to work out very well.

[2:37] So wait, they didn't take immediately to the robot plane. No, you were there. You remember.

[2:42] There were some adjustments. So they didn't take it out to the clubs and shit.

[2:45] No, they did not. They did, however, go out to the clubs a lot. There was a lot of club scenes.

[2:49] And a lot of hanging out in Thailand. So these three flawed voices, three hot shot

[2:56] air force pilots were joined by this plane called Eddie. Yes. It was an extreme dangerous insertion.

[3:04] Extreme deep insertion. It's either a dildo or a series of movies.

[3:20] Ace anti-terrorism squad, which planes, as far as I've been able to ascertain,

[3:28] are the main line against terrorism. Yes. They fly in stealth style and then blow up

[3:34] various strategic locations. That's how we fight wars. It's the wars of the future.

[3:40] Eddie gets hit by lightning, short circuit style. He becomes evil for a time.

[3:45] Well, to be fair, I've been thinking about it a little bit since the movie's been over.

[3:49] He didn't become evil per se. He just took his programming too literally.

[3:55] Right. He didn't know any better. Does that make somebody evil?

[3:59] Not if you're a robot, I don't think. So you're saying that he's the heavily

[4:04] armed airplane equivalent of like a two-year-old. Yes. Yes, I do think that. That's exactly my

[4:09] point. So in the second part of the original question, is it possible for a robot to be evil?

[4:14] Yes. Yes, it is. Because remember how at first he just is following his programming,

[4:20] but later he learns that he feels remorse. At that point, now that he has a guilt mechanism,

[4:27] at that point, if he continues to choose to do evil, then he's evil.

[4:31] I don't understand. Perhaps I need to be hit by lightning.

[4:35] You raise an interesting question because during his so-called evil period, he directly

[4:43] leads to the death of Jamie Foxx's character. But he doesn't attack him. He just is so good

[4:49] at evasive maneuvers that Jamie Foxx is exploded in his own missile explosion.

[4:54] And I don't know if you remember, but the robot did tell him that there was a 1% chance of him

[5:01] being shot down by Jamie Foxx. That's true. Robots are really good at

[5:04] calculating probabilities. The plane goes evil. What does the plane do then? It flies to Germany?

[5:10] No, it flies to Russia. The plane flies to Russia and it's going to try to destroy a bunch of

[5:14] Russian ships. Or just fly over Russian airspace. I don't remember. It was never terribly clear.

[5:19] One thing that this movie has taught me is that there is little to no penalty for invading a

[5:25] foreign country's airspace. There's not. It's consequence-free.

[5:29] That's what I like about it. Doesn't Jessica Biel get shot by

[5:34] a North Korean guy's sniper rifle? Yes.

[5:36] That sounds like a penalty. Yeah.

[5:39] Well, not on the international theater, it's not a penalty.

[5:42] Eddie leads to the death of Jamie Foxx. He leads directly to Jessica Biel.

[5:47] Who is the most wisecracking of all. Yeah. Frankly, not a big loss to the film.

[5:54] I hope Jamie Foxx isn't listening. And Jessica Biel goes down in North Korea,

[5:59] all as a result of Eddie. Extreme deep insurgency.

[6:05] Josh Lucas discovers that, not such a bad guy, this airplane. And they go together and they

[6:14] save Jessica Biel. He figures it out because,

[6:17] oh, that robot blows up a shitload of Russian dudes.

[6:20] Yeah. Well, they work together as a team. Because the one guy, well, should we spoil the twist

[6:26] ending? I think it's all right.

[6:29] It's okay to spoil it. All right. Well, the guy, the boss guy that you're going to see in the

[6:32] beginning of the movie. The boss guy played by Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Sam Shepard.

[6:38] Yes. In a nod to his role in The Right Stuff.

[6:43] That's what it was. He's the boss. And at first you think he's cool, but then later on he turns

[6:47] out to be a douchebag and he's just trying to cover his own ass. So he tries to have this doctor

[6:52] assassinate Cole Hauser's character with like a syringe full of poison.

[6:55] Josh Lucas. I'm pretty sure it was Cole Hauser.

[6:59] He tries to poison him with a syringe. And that guy, doesn't he want to leave Jessica Biel in

[7:04] North Korea or something? Who, the doctor?

[7:07] No, the doctor. The boss.

[7:08] Oh, okay. Because he tells Cole Hauser's character,

[7:11] he's like, yeah, she landed just fine. Just fine. But really finds out later from extreme

[7:18] deep insurgent that she crashed in North Korea. I don't think I was watching the movie.

[7:26] We were texting a lot. Which I think signifies.

[7:31] I don't want to gloss over this because to me the most baffling thing about the movie is that,

[7:37] okay, stealth. I like to call him stealth. I prefer extreme deep insurgent.

[7:42] I know, I like stealth because it makes me think of a movie title.

[7:46] Yeah, the guy's name is Stealth. You think Stealth is the bad guy

[7:50] just because he killed one of our heroes and strands another one of our heroes in an enemy

[7:55] country. But turns out, Stealth's a good guy. Sacrifices himself at the end to help all of them.

[8:01] And you think then, okay, Sam Shepard is the bad guy. But you know what? Sam Shepard commits

[8:07] suicide. Like a bad guy would.

[8:09] And so basically our heroes don't have to do anything really to combat any antagonist.

[8:17] Well, that's the weird thing. It's a weird, it's an antagonist free movie. It's a movie where they

[8:23] have these obstacles that will pop up from time to time. But then the obstacles in most cases

[8:28] resolve themselves. Like, Cole Hauser doesn't fix stealth. Like, stealth pretty much is just like,

[8:34] oh, okay, yeah, I'll go along with you. Like, the obstacle resolves itself.

[8:38] Yeah.

[8:39] I don't know that I would say that I actually paid attention to this movie.

[8:44] But if I recall from the trailer, stealth was kind of the bad guy in the movie. And

[8:50] second of all...

[8:52] No, no, we were just talking about that. Stealth's not the bad guy.

[8:54] Well...

[8:55] Also, it's not stealth.

[8:56] I just remember that line from the trailer where Jamie Foxx says,

[9:00] I'm going to blast you right out of the sky.

[9:02] Yes, but Jamie Foxx's character is dead. That character dies.

[9:06] And I don't even remember him saying that line in the movie.

[9:09] I don't remember either. I watched the entire movie and I don't remember at any point he said...

[9:13] So, misadvertising.

[9:14] I'm going to blow you out of the sky. Yes, lies and advertising. Lies and half-truths.

[9:19] That's the packaging that surrounds this movie.

[9:22] What other movies did Rob Cohen, the director of Stealth, direct, Daniel?

[9:26] I believe that Rob Cohen was the director of The Fast and the Furious.

[9:30] Now, that's a hell of a movie.

[9:31] Yeah.

[9:31] That's a movie I think we can all get behind.

[9:32] I think we can get behind it better than Stealth.

[9:37] Stealth, sure. Well, Stealth was a real snore factory.

[9:41] That's what I like to call it. I like to call it a snore factory.

[9:44] Where is the Fast and the Furious?

[9:45] Why do you like to call it that?

[9:46] Because it made me snore a lot. It produced so many snores.

[9:49] It's like a factory.

[9:51] Like an officially run factory generating snores.

[9:55] Yeah.

[9:56] There were a lot of explosions and a lot of planes flying through like gulches.

[10:00] like valleys. I'm taking a look at Rob Cohen's filmography. On the internet. On the internet.

[10:07] I'd like to point out his first major film, Dragonheart. You may remember that one. I

[10:14] remember Dragonheart. Sean Connery was a dragon. That's right, Sean Connery played a dragon.

[10:20] Dennis Quaid was in it or something, right? Dennis Quaid was a... A dragon hunter. Now

[10:25] remind me, was there only the one single dragon in that movie? Uh, yes. Or am I thinking of

[10:29] Way to Fly? That's right, it was the last dragon. Dennis Quaid and Sean Connery's dragon

[10:34] character, uh, were kind of alike. That's right. There was a lot of... It was like a buddy comedy

[10:40] if one of the buddies was a dragon and Sean Connery. So like, uh, it's like Tango and Cash,

[10:45] but where one of them's a dragon. I'd imagine Cash is a dragon. Sure, if Cash was a dragon.

[10:50] I don't think it's fair to... Why not? Because I don't want to, uh, Tango and Cash requires...

[10:55] Now hold on, hold on, I want to... Rob Cohen has a hell of a filmography here.

[11:00] Daylight. I've not remembered that. Sylvester Sloan. Sylvester Sloan filmed it. Trapped in a

[11:04] tunnel. Right where he's in the tunnel. Um, you might have... I believe it had basically the same

[11:11] cover art as Cliffhanger. Was Sylvester Sloan hanging off of something?

[11:17] Rather, I thought you were going to say it had the same poster art as us still.

[11:21] The Skulls? I saw The Skulls. Craig T. Nelson's in that. That's right. Coach. We call him Coach.

[11:30] Coach played a sinister guy if I remember. Joe Jackson? Yes, Joshua Jackson of, uh, Pacey. Yes,

[11:37] a Pacey. Who names their kid Pacey? TV parents name their kids Pacey. And Joe Jackson played

[11:42] Pacey in The Skulls. Joshua Jackson. Joe Jackson. New Wave artist. Joe Jackson, star of Dawson's

[11:50] Creek, was also in The Skulls with Coach. Uh, The Past and Future is arguably the only good film

[11:57] on Rob Cohen's, uh, resume. And even then, I think we're playing it loose and easy with good.

[12:00] Then he went on to Triple X. Triple X was... I did not know that was a Rob Cohen movie.

[12:07] That was a really good movie. As a, as a side note, it's important to, that I point out the

[12:12] fact that in Triple X, Vin Diesel's character has a name tattooed on his stomach. That character,

[12:18] that name, is Vin Diesel's D&D character of many years. That's pretty weird. More disturbing to me

[12:25] though. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, let's, don't segue that into, like, don't tie that into,

[12:30] like, the fact that he has a D&D character. That's a delightful fact. Okay. Um, uh, on,

[12:37] on a not related note. There we go. What bothers me about this film is that the screenwriter,

[12:43] credit is from W.D. Richter, best known for, uh, writing Big Trouble in Little China. Shit,

[12:50] that is a good movie. Still. Uh, also the, uh, 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

[12:59] And I believe that W.D. Richter did The Adventures of Budra Banzai Across Eight Dimensions. He's the

[13:04] director of that movie. I can't believe that that guy wrote still. I cannot believe that. Yeah.

[13:10] Can't believe it. That is still, they must have edited the shit out of that script then before

[13:14] it went to production. Because I can't believe that guy wrote that script. Yeah, two of, uh,

[13:19] two of my personal favorites. Well, because, I mean, because it still sucked. And yet, uh,

[13:24] Big Trouble in Little China is really good. Wait, wait, wait, wait, are we already at the

[13:28] final judgment portion of this conversation? Wait, I mean, I really, I haven't decided yet.

[13:32] Don't, uh, don't tip your hand. Sure, uh, all right, what, uh, what else is going on with the

[13:38] stuff? What else is going on in this stuff? Let me open up today's stealth newspapers. Now,

[13:44] I have a question. Check it out. I'm just wondering who's stealth is marketing to, Daniel?

[13:49] That's a really good question. Is it a scary movie? Because the trailers, if I recall,

[13:55] people were frightened of the robot. Because it was a bad guy. I think you're remembering yourself

[14:01] as a young boy. You're projecting onto robots. You're projecting. It's called projecting.

[14:07] Sure. So, yeah, I think, though, who it's marketed to is an excellent question.

[14:12] What's the target audience for stealth? Well, I have to say. Is it adventure lovers?

[14:18] Well, the one thing that I enjoyed out of the movie was, uh, I do like movies with dog fights

[14:25] in them. I mean, like, as far as I was concerned, the one sort of exciting moment in the movie is

[14:30] when Jessica Biel's plane was going down. She had to eject parachute on fire. Simon,

[14:36] what was your favorite part of the movie? I really liked the part where the human and the

[14:40] robot grew to understand each other. Okay. You know, I think I'm, uh, I don't know if I'm gonna

[14:48] make a lot of friends with this, uh, comment. Okay. But, uh, I would argue my favorite part

[14:54] of the movie was literally any part where you got a good look at Jessica Biel's ass.

[14:59] You know, because it was really nice to look at, and it made me forget that there was a robot

[15:03] fighter pilot trying to kill everybody. That's true. The robot, uh, the robot itself was actually

[15:10] a single sphere. It was implanted into, like, plugged into the plane. That's what computers

[15:16] actually look like. He literally had, uh, Hal's voice from 2001. It was eerily close. And they,

[15:23] they lifted nearly exactly the scene where Hal, uh, read the lip. Well, maybe it wasn't a rip-off

[15:29] so much as a no-mind. Yeah. Good screenwriting. Maybe it was a rip-off, wasn't a rip-off so much

[15:35] as they thought, you know what, let's take 2001 and let's remove all sort of, like, the subtext

[15:42] about, uh, human development. Well, let's boil it down to what it's really all about. Humans

[15:47] versus robots. Which is why I liked the part where they reconciled the most. Let's make it

[15:53] more of a top gun. Something about 2001, um, robots, um, robots versus airplanes. Well,

[15:59] you know what I was going to say was, what's pretty associate? Apples. Robots, robot apples.

[16:05] Airplanes, airplanes that shoot apples. Remember how the bad guy in the movie ate apples? Chris

[16:09] Christopherson. See that? Chris Christopherson was not in this film. That's important that I

[16:13] point that out. But I think it is important to point out that Sam Shepard did eat Granny Smith

[16:18] apples. Or at the very least, he ate green apple. The most common kind of green apple. Granny Smith.

[16:25] Granny Smith apples. I wanted to say, I remember what I wanted to say, it was this. Going into

[16:30] this movie, I was afraid that it was going to be another, uh, anti-sentient robot film. Weirdly

[16:37] enough, no. It wasn't. That was the odd thing. I was, I was about to, I was going to come in and

[16:42] say like. There's been a lot of them lately, right? There have been. Where they trash talk

[16:45] machines with sentient. Yeah, basically like any movie where like a robot gets self-awareness

[16:51] other than short circuit, that robot is bad news. He becomes evil. Give me, uh, give me some

[16:57] examples here guys. Well, the, well the Terminator series. Ah, but Terminator's good in the second

[17:04] one. That's true, he's not sentient. The robots that are sentient are evil. I, like I said, I, you know, I'm

[17:11] sick and tired of robot, uh. Getting a bad rap, sure. They don't deserve a bad rap. To me, that's like the

[17:17] science fiction equivalent of the movie where a, say a young woman comes from a small town to get

[17:26] a good job in the city and then she learns that small town ways are the best. Yeah. Like that's

[17:31] country versus city. Sometimes, you know. Robot versus human. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that

[17:38] the attitude toward robots is not unlike the slobs versus slobs parable? I'm saying that

[17:43] Sweet Home Alabama is a dirty lie. That's true, it is. That is another movie featuring

[17:50] Star of Stealth. Well, those are not in there. Josh Lucas in his piercing, piercing blue eyes.

[17:57] They were very blue. The trailer for that movie features a dog doing a double take.

[18:03] Wait, Stealth? No, Sweet Home Alabama. Wait, wait, wait, there was a dog that does a double take in the

[18:11] trailer for Sweet Home Alabama? Yeah, like somebody says some kind of a line or like, like Reese Witherspoon's

[18:16] like, I'm never going back to the city or something like that. And then the dog like looked like the

[18:22] bloodhound. He's sitting on the porch and looked up. It's like, oh. It's like, it's spitting.

[18:27] Spitting dog food. Well, kind of, yeah. Spitting dog food. I believe that like the Wilhelm scream,

[18:35] you know, like the scream that's been used over and over again, there is one sound for a dog doing

[18:40] a double take and it's been used. Do you think a dog can actually make that noise? No, I don't

[18:47] believe that's possible. I think a human made that noise. I think a human made that noise also.

[18:51] Or it comes from a really weird thing where they like, they're like, yeah, if we scratch some

[18:56] drumsticks across the trash can and play it backwards, that's how we get the sound.

[19:02] It's a Foley artist creation. I would say the nine out of ten time.

[19:07] That's probably fair. One out of ten times, it's not actually a dog. It's a cat or I don't know.

[19:16] No, I think that instead of it being a complex, you know, sound tech kind of thing, they're like,

[19:20] hey, you make this kind of sound. And the person makes the sound, they record it.

[19:25] That sound is actually made by hitting a side of beat. That's where it comes from.

[19:29] Hey, Flops! Flopping in the Flophouse with us three Flops! Scooby-Doo Bop! Nice. That was cool.

[19:46] That should be our bumper for all of them. Anything else about Stealth worth discussing?

[19:53] I don't know that there is. I don't know. Would you call it a thriller?

[19:58] No, I would.

[20:00] If you were...

[20:01] Would you call it a killer?

[20:02] Uh, no to that one either.

[20:04] Now, if I was going to, like, say, Dan, you own a video store.

[20:09] Imagine this, okay?

[20:10] You know, it's full of people ready to rent movies that they're going to enjoy and eat

[20:14] popcorn during.

[20:15] It's called Dan's Videos.

[20:16] Dan's Videos.

[20:17] Um, you probably also sell, like, candy and popcorn.

[20:19] Can you call it Film Frolics?

[20:20] Yes, you can.

[20:21] Yeah, you call it Film Frolics.

[20:22] There's candy and, like, popcorn and shit and all kinds of stuff.

[20:27] And you organize your DVDs in a certain way, according to what you believe to be most appropriate

[20:34] to somebody who would rent a feature.

[20:36] Your genre of course.

[20:37] What genre area, like collection of shelves, would you place stealth?

[20:41] I think I would put it in action adventure.

[20:45] Okay.

[20:46] Simon, you own Dan's Videos.

[20:49] I bought...

[20:50] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[20:51] No, no, Dan...

[20:52] No, no, no, no.

[20:53] Dan mishandled the whole thing.

[20:55] I bought it.

[20:56] Okay.

[20:57] Um, I would...

[20:58] You know what?

[20:59] It is...

[21:00] It is an action.

[21:01] Like, it's an action movie.

[21:02] You can't put it anywhere else.

[21:03] Now, obviously, that doesn't make it a good action movie.

[21:06] However, it is an action movie.

[21:08] It's not a classical drama.

[21:11] It's clearly not a comedy.

[21:12] Okay.

[21:13] It's not a horror movie.

[21:14] Okay.

[21:15] You know what, guys?

[21:16] You know what, guys?

[21:17] I'm sorry.

[21:18] You're both wrong.

[21:19] No.

[21:20] In Dan's Video, stealth falls under robot mayhem.

[21:23] There's...

[21:24] No!

[21:25] Okay.

[21:26] No, I'm serious.

[21:27] I went there the other day.

[21:28] First of all, if I ever...

[21:29] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[21:30] That is a very...

[21:31] That is a very specific video store.

[21:32] If I ever...

[21:33] Subdivisions.

[21:34] If I was going to subdivide things like that, I don't think I would have any time to make

[21:38] movies.

[21:39] I would be too busy...

[21:40] If I went to a video store that had a category called, um...

[21:43] What was it?

[21:44] Robot Mayhem?

[21:45] Robot Mayhem.

[21:46] Yep.

[21:47] I would think the owner of that video store was a hipster asshole.

[21:48] No.

[21:49] I actually disagree with you.

[21:50] I mean, I don't own it.

[21:51] I just went there.

[21:52] I just...

[21:53] Oh, I got it.

[21:54] I got it.

[21:55] I disagree.

[21:56] A mysterious, like, ex-manufacturer bought an app store.

[21:57] I ran it out of business.

[21:58] Yeah.

[21:59] Mysterious manufacturer.

[22:00] And then you just happened to see this was the way they organized it.

[22:04] Yeah.

[22:05] I have to say, um, if Stuart owned that video, and there was a section called Robot Mayhem,

[22:10] I would have to rent every movie in the Robot Mayhem section.

[22:14] Because, uh...

[22:15] I can't tell you how many, you know, Saturday nights I'm thinking...

[22:18] Terminator?

[22:19] That's Robot Mayhem.

[22:20] Robot Mayhem, that's what I need.

[22:21] Uh, Batteries Not Included?

[22:22] That's Mayhem-y.

[22:23] Yeah!

[22:24] Robot Batteries Not Included kind of sucks.

[22:27] I watch it recently.

[22:28] Dude, there's plenty of Mayhem in it.

[22:29] Okay.

[22:30] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[22:31] We've talked a lot about this movie.

[22:34] Stealth.

[22:35] What's, uh, what's the final judgment here, Dan?

[22:38] Snore Factory.

[22:39] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[22:40] All right.

[22:41] The categories are...

[22:42] The official Flophouse categories are...

[22:45] A bad movie that you wouldn't recommend to anyone.

[22:50] A bad movie that you would recommend to people because it's kind of fun.

[22:55] Or a movie that you secretly kind of like.

[22:58] So, Simon, which one is it?

[23:00] Uh, well, for me, since the movie was a goddamn Snore Factory...

[23:03] I have, I have, um...

[23:05] For me, movies are either Fun Factories or Snore Factories.

[23:08] And, um...

[23:09] That's your personal rating.

[23:11] Sure, but for the purposes of the show, um, I would say that since it is a Snore Factory,

[23:15] I would not recommend it to anyone.

[23:17] I think it has almost no redeeming qualms.

[23:20] Mainly just boring.

[23:21] Fair enough.

[23:22] Stuart?

[23:23] Um, wait, what are the categories?

[23:25] Oh, um...

[23:26] Snore Factory or Fun Factory.

[23:28] I would recommend it to...

[23:31] Wait, wait, wait.

[23:32] People.

[23:33] No, no.

[23:34] I thought this was do we recommend it at all.

[23:36] Not which subtypes of people would you recommend it to.

[23:39] Like, I would not recommend it to moms, but I would...

[23:42] Aw, it's weird.

[23:43] How about that?

[23:44] I would recommend it to people who enjoy films and not so deep plays.

[23:48] Okay, you're both dicks.

[23:50] Fine.

[23:51] I wouldn't recommend it, really, to anyone.

[23:52] It wasn't really that good.

[23:54] There's no nudity, and there's not really any horror.

[23:57] Kohlhauser was good in it.

[23:58] There's no Kohlhauser in that movie.

[24:01] First of all, I thought Kohlhauser did a really good job of looking like Josh Lucas.

[24:07] Awesome.

[24:08] So, I would say, nobody, uh, that movie's really crappy.

[24:11] Don't watch it.

[24:12] Well, uh, I would have to agree with you both.

[24:15] I would not recommend it to anyone.

[24:16] I think you made a wise decision.

[24:18] So, uh, for the very first episode, total agreement.

[24:22] Nice.

[24:23] It feels good.

[24:24] It's weird.

[24:25] It feels really good.

[24:26] It makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

[24:27] It makes me feel really good.

[24:28] For this, uh, this first episode, there's a segment I want to inaugurate.

[24:33] Inaugurate.

[24:34] I would like to...

[24:35] Inaugurate.

[24:36] Inaugurate.

[24:37] Which is to say, to prove that we're not just sad bastards that hate everything in the world.

[24:43] Is there anything that you, uh, any movie that you've seen recently that you would recommend

[24:48] in contrast to, uh, this lousy movie we just watched?

[24:52] Steve, what'd you say?

[24:53] What's good?

[24:54] Um, the other day I watched the, uh, the remake of The Hitcher.

[24:58] And I wouldn't actually...

[25:01] Wait, you would recommend this?

[25:02] Because that's the whole substance of this portion of the show.

[25:06] Wait, hold on.

[25:07] Take a minute.

[25:08] Actually, I probably wouldn't recommend it.

[25:10] However, uh, it's really weird because Sean Bean totally kills all these dudes and a helicopter.

[25:16] Which is pretty cool.

[25:17] And, uh, that makes it not very scary.

[25:20] But then, I don't think Rucker Hauer was that scary in the original.

[25:23] Well, Rucker Hauer was not terribly scary.

[25:25] What though would you recommend?

[25:26] Give me a good, give me a good movie I should check out when I go to Jane's Video.

[25:30] I recently bought Monster Squad.

[25:32] But I think that's an easy sell.

[25:34] Because it's really awesome.

[25:37] The wolfman explodes and he's got nards.

[25:40] So, Simon, what else, what have you been up to?

[25:42] What's your story?

[25:43] What did I see recently?

[25:44] I saw The Ten the other day.

[25:46] Uh, and it was really, really hilarious.

[25:48] However, most people aren't going to get a chance to see it.

[25:51] What I saw is that The Ten is literally in 25 theaters nationwide.

[25:55] Well, that's the thing.

[25:56] It's, no one's going to see it.

[25:57] Like, I'm the latest asshole even mentioning it.

[25:59] Because you're going to have to wait until it comes out on DVD.

[26:01] However, it was really, really hilarious.

[26:03] You know what I saw?

[26:04] You know what I saw the other day?

[26:06] What did you see?

[26:07] That actually wasn't that bad?

[26:09] What was that?

[26:10] What's the movie where, um...

[26:12] Jothery.

[26:13] No, hold on, it wasn't Jothery.

[26:14] Um, what movie has Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan and they both play divorce attorneys?

[26:20] But they end up getting jobs.

[26:21] Laws of Attraction.

[26:22] Laws of Attraction.

[26:23] It's like a crown affair.

[26:24] No, it's a law, that's...

[26:25] Boogie Nights.

[26:26] That's, yes.

[26:27] Boogie Nights.

[26:28] I recently saw Boogie Nights and Pierce Brosnan is amazing.

[26:31] You're going to make fun of mine.

[26:33] Probably will.

[26:34] Now, I'm not going to say this is a good movie.

[26:36] But you're recommending it to me.

[26:37] But I caught Freddy's Dead, the final nightmare.

[26:41] That's, weirdly enough, the only one I've never seen.

[26:44] And I'll tell you what.

[26:45] Not a big fan of the Nightmare on Elm Street films.

[26:50] I think that they're overrated.

[26:53] I know that you guys agree.

[26:55] The first one's okay, not really that scary.

[26:57] The third one's kind of fun.

[26:59] Well, they're weirdly homoerotic.

[27:01] Number two, certainly is.

[27:03] What's so homoerotic about them?

[27:05] A lot of them are like, cutting dudes' cocks off and shit, I think.

[27:08] Number two is...

[27:09] Has he cut off a guy's tits?

[27:10] Probably.

[27:11] What's so gay about it?

[27:12] Well, it was directed by a gay man.

[27:15] Do you think that informs this film anyway?

[27:17] Yeah, it does inform it.

[27:18] There's a lot of Freddy preying on shirtless, teenage guys.

[27:22] Freddy's Dead, the final nightmare.

[27:24] I'm not going to recommend it to you as a movie that you've got to go out and see.

[27:29] However, if you get a chance to watch it, it has this great feel of late 80s, early 90s,

[27:36] Green Quest images, special effects.

[27:39] They totally do away with the idea of this being really a horror movie

[27:43] or really movie that has to make any sense.

[27:45] It's just like a weird dream sequence.

[27:47] It's just like a weird dream sequence, front to back.

[27:51] And it's kind of fun.

[27:53] You know what, Dan?

[27:54] I saw that movie in the fucking theater.

[27:56] Yeah?

[27:57] And I thought it was awesome.

[27:59] Did you like when Breckenmeyer was killed in a Nintendo game?

[28:03] Breckenmeyer's in that movie?

[28:05] Young Breckenmeyer is being killed by Freddy.

[28:08] First of all, I don't know who that person is, but yeah.

[28:10] He's the guy from that one show.

[28:12] There was that show on where he worked at some news show.

[28:15] I just remember that part when that person is dragged across the ceiling by an invisible...

[28:20] I think that's every...

[28:22] That's pretty much all that I remember.

[28:24] My only real problem with that one is I don't think anybody...

[28:26] Oh, Freddy's dead.

[28:28] That's the one with the 3D glasses.

[28:30] Yes.

[28:31] Of course.

[28:32] I saw that movie at my friend Mike Barnes' house when I was in Christ.

[28:36] It would have been like 6th grade.

[28:38] It was probably 6th grade.

[28:39] I think it was 6th grade.

[28:40] You know...

[28:41] Because she pulls him in the real world and in the end she sticks like a grenade in him

[28:44] and he explodes and his head shoots out.

[28:46] I think the movie is kind of great.

[28:48] That's the same movie where the first kid that dies is the deaf kid

[28:51] and his crazy mom shoves a super long Q-tip through his head.

[28:54] Yeah.

[28:55] It was kind of great because it totally dispenses with the idea that this movie is scary.

[29:00] It totally dispenses with the idea that this movie has to make any sort of sense

[29:04] and it's just a crazy sequence of things that happen.

[29:07] It's true.

[29:08] You know what?

[29:09] I would take that recommendation.

[29:11] Huh.

[29:12] So we've had a lot of fun tonight, Dan.

[29:14] We have.

[29:15] I had a chillin' laugh.

[29:16] It was a great blast.

[29:17] So yeah, let's do this sign-off.

[29:19] Alright.

[29:20] This has been The Blockhouse.

[29:22] This is Dan McCoy.

[29:24] Simon Fisher.

[29:25] And Stuart Wellington.

[29:26] Thank you for listening.

[29:28] Good night.

[29:29] Peace.

[29:40] I like cinema creptacular.

[29:44] The Bad Film Inspectors.

[29:46] Dude.

[29:48] I really do like The Bad Film Inspectors as a name.

[29:50] I think it's a tremendous name for the show.

[29:52] The Terrible Talkies.

[29:53] It should either be The Terrible Talkies or The...

[29:56] Where's it at?

[29:57] Or The Bad Film Inspectors.

[29:59] What?

[30:00] film inspectors. You do? Because the idea being that we inspect them. I mean I think the flop

[30:06] house is like if we were actually being like serious and we're like hey let's

[30:09] name something something. The flop house is really good. Bad film inspectors just

[30:16] makes me wish I had like a pair of really cool sunglasses. Bad film inspectors

[30:20] sounds like it's a really cool comic book idea.

The Flop House: Episode One - Stealth

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