The Flop House: Episode Three - A Sound of Thunder

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode of The Flophouse, we examine A Sound of Thunder, the movie that made Ray

[0:06] Bradbury prematurely roll over in his non-existent grave.

[0:30] Wikipedia has this to say about the plot of A Sound of Thunder.

[0:39] According to the film, the established rules of time travel are, one, don't bring anything

[0:43] back, two, don't leave anything behind, and three, don't change anything in the past.

[0:48] These rules were established by a businessman who has recently developed a time machine.

[0:52] With it, he created a business which offers prehistoric safari trips to wealthy hunters.

[0:57] Travis Ryan has been trained to lead these safaris.

[1:00] On one of them, the guides are escorting two men along a path, and they are attacked by

[1:04] an Allosaurus, and the leader's gun fails so the Allosaurus does not die when it was scheduled

[1:09] to do so.

[1:10] Panicked by the attack, one of the explorers steps off the path.

[1:13] The guides exchange gun parts with another gun, kill the Allosaurus, and return to the

[1:18] time portal.

[1:19] Unseen to the explorers, a muddy footprint has been left off the path.

[1:23] On the next expedition, Ryan is taking two other hunters on the time safari, and states that

[1:27] they are about to witness a volcanic eruption, but the volcano is already in the process of

[1:31] erupting, and they are forced to return to the present.

[1:34] The time safari business calls on Sonia Rand, who invented the time travel machine, but she

[1:38] refuses to help anyone.

[1:39] Rand explains that since they altered something in the past, the future will proceed to change

[1:44] in a series of time waves.

[1:45] She says that the changes can't happen all at once, and they will proceed in order of evolution.

[1:50] First, everything will reset, then the vegetation will change, then wildlife, and finally humans.

[1:55] The business attempts to send Ryer back to fix the past, but a time wave hits and all

[1:59] the electricity goes out.

[2:01] Ryer and Rand must determine what caused the change before they can fix the past.

[2:05] They discover that a butterfly was stepped on during one trip into the past, and it critically

[2:10] altered the evolutionary chain.

[2:12] They manage to reach the university, but thanks to various evolutionized creatures and plants,

[2:17] only Ryer and Rand are still alive.

[2:19] Rand manages to send Ryer back 65 million in one years to dodge the time waves.

[2:23] Then he is sent forward one year, to the point when the original explorers traveled into the

[2:28] past.

[2:29] In the present, the final time wave hits, and Rand is turned into a fish-like being.

[2:34] Meanwhile, Ryer tells the explorers about everything that will happen in the future.

[2:38] He stops the explorer from stepping off the path and killing the butterfly, and the future

[2:42] is saved.

[2:44] Back in the present, Ryer is shown the video of the alternate Ryer who saved the future.

[2:48] He requests that they shut down the time portal to stop such an occurrence from ever happening

[2:53] again.

[2:54] And now we join the others in the Flophouse.

Stuart Wellington

[2:57] Hello everyone, welcome to the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[3:00] I'm Dan McCoy.

[3:01] Every time.

[3:02] It's me every time.

[3:03] Simon Fisher.

[3:04] And Stuart Wellington.

[3:05] I think to start off, what do you think of this film's view of time travel?

Stuart Wellington

[3:11] Well, first of all, the movie was about time travel.

[3:15] You noticed that too.

[3:16] I did notice that.

[3:17] That's what we would call subtext.

[3:19] I would think that's text.

[3:21] It could be a subtext.

[3:24] Text.

[3:24] I'm trying to compare it to other time travel movies, and it's not holding up very well,

[3:30] Dan.

Dan McCoy

[3:31] Yeah, well, their conception of time travel is something gets changed in the past.

[3:37] And to be fair, this is based on the classic Ray Bradbury story that brought us the idea

[3:41] of the butterfly effect and the fact that changing the past drastically changes the future.

[3:46] Something changes in the past, and these time waves emanate from the past, and everything

[3:52] stays the same until one of these waves hits the future.

Stuart Wellington

[3:55] And you have full memory of what preceded the wave, and you remain fully conscious of everything

[4:01] that's ever happened.

[4:02] Yeah.

[4:03] Until such a time as you, I don't know, cease existing or that.

Dan McCoy

[4:06] And this reminds me of a much better movie, I think we can all agree.

[4:11] The butterfly effect.

[4:11] Yes.

[4:12] The butterfly effect.

[4:13] Back to the future.

[4:14] I was actually listening to the commentary track to Back to the Future recently.

[4:18] Yeah.

[4:18] I thought it was pretty good.

[4:20] Okay.

[4:21] And they're talking about how the fact that it literally doesn't make any sense, the idea

[4:26] that Marty's brother and sister would slowly disappear from that photograph.

[4:31] Why doesn't the photograph just disappear immediately?

[4:34] Right, because they never would have said it was your.

[4:36] In the context of that movie, it works.

[4:38] In the context of this movie, nothing makes sense at all.

Stuart Wellington

[4:41] I'm going to say something crazy, and you guys are welcome to disagree with me if you want.

[4:45] At this point, I don't think anyone should be making time travel movies anymore.

Dan McCoy

[4:50] That seems like a bold statement.

Stuart Wellington

[4:51] No, no, no, listen.

[4:52] Like, you're going to watch any time travel movie, and you're going to be like, I've never

[4:56] time traveled before, but I'm pretty sure this movie's bullshit.

[4:58] I don't know how you could make a time travel movie and be like, they hit the nail on the

[5:02] head right there.

[5:02] That's pretty much how time travel might actually be.

[5:05] What I don't understand is why the apparent only people using time travel in the entire

[5:12] world use it so that people can go back in time and shoot dinosaurs.

Dan McCoy

[5:18] Well, that's human nature, Stuart.

[5:20] All people care about is blood sports.

Stuart Wellington

[5:25] And that specific blood sport, in this case, is shooting an Allosaurus with an ice bullet.

Dan McCoy

[5:32] Yes, with an ice bullet.

[5:33] Because you can't leave anything behind in the past, or else you might change the future.

Stuart Wellington

[5:36] Which is why it's so important that you use a gun that shoots a bullet made of ice so

[5:40] that there will be no bullet left behind.

Dan McCoy

[5:42] Into a dinosaur that was about to fall into a tar pit.

Stuart Wellington

[5:46] I guess I don't...

[5:47] They somehow found out, they're like, okay, we've been taking snapshots of the past.

[5:51] We discover there's this certain stupid Allosaurus that stumbles into some tar and dies.

[5:55] What if we send people back moments before it dies and shoot it with ice bolts?

Dan McCoy

[6:00] Well, I mean, it's as if people from the future came back to our time to shoot people in the

[6:07] electric chair just before they got executed.

Stuart Wellington

[6:11] Like, it turns out that in 15 minutes, Simon gets run over by a subway train.

[6:15] Let's shoot him with ice bolts or with bullets that make an impact and exit wound that look

[6:20] exactly like a subway train.

[6:23] Let's do that right before we fall.

Dan McCoy

[6:25] They use the ice bullets because of the prehistoric CSI shit that they would be doing.

Stuart Wellington

[6:30] You have dinosaur forensic investigators that would be like, wait a minute.

Dan McCoy

[6:34] I think you were witness to the fact that I had trouble with this while we were watching

[6:37] the movie.

[6:38] Once they change the past, thus changing the future, they can't go back into the past

[6:44] That wasn't the weird part.

[6:44] To simply change the past back.

[6:46] They can't, like, like, Edward Burns immediately, he's like, oh, you know what?

[6:50] I'm just going to catch myself in the past and tell myself not to do that thing.

[6:54] Like, which is pretty much the logical explanation.

[6:56] But for some reason, once they've changed the past, they can't go back to the past.

[7:01] Well, that part was really weird.

Stuart Wellington

[7:02] However, that, I mean, that illustrates my point with the reason why you can't, like,

[7:05] you can't really make, I mean, let's for a minute just be dorks about this, all right?

[7:08] And talk about time travel.

[7:10] If that's what had happened, wouldn't that be what had happened the first time through?

[7:14] No, because then you don't have a movie.

[7:16] Because it's got to be a linear story that progresses from one point to another.

[7:19] Because otherwise, that would have happened.

[7:20] He would have been there the first time and that would have happened.

[7:22] What you're talking about...

[7:23] That's why you shouldn't make movies about time travel.

Dan McCoy

[7:24] What you're talking about at time is like a quantum movie, which all takes place in an instant.

[7:29] No, no, no.

[7:29] And every possible story that could be told is told in that instant.

[7:33] Yes, there you go.

Stuart Wellington

[7:34] I believe in a quantum view of the universe.

[7:37] Ergo, this time travel movie didn't work for me.

[7:39] Yeah.

[7:40] Don't they just keep killing the same dinosaur?

[7:43] Yes.

[7:43] Yes, they do.

[7:44] So why don't they see all those other jerks that kill that dinosaur and they go back to kill it?

[7:49] That's a good point.

Dan McCoy

[7:50] I don't know why that is okay for you, but my point was too quantum.

[7:54] Well, I mean, even on the dumb level that this movie was pitched at, Stuart's point makes sense.

[8:00] Shouldn't they all be converging on themselves all the time?

[8:04] On the same point every time?

[8:05] No.

Stuart Wellington

[8:05] It's like, oh, hey, there's Edward Burns number seven and eight.

[8:08] How you guys doing?

[8:09] Oh, we're here to kill that allosaurus too.

[8:11] Okay, everybody shoot out allosaurus.

[8:13] Everybody line up your shot.

Dan McCoy

[8:15] Wait for it.

Stuart Wellington

[8:15] Let's not step over each other's tics here.

[8:17] Wait for it.

[8:18] Okay, everybody shoot out everybody.

[8:19] Shoot the shit out of that allosaurus.

[8:21] Man, that was awesome.

[8:22] Good battle.

[8:22] Now we all have to remember to return, like, I don't know, let's say a week apart from each other.

[8:27] Otherwise, it'd get really crowded.

[8:29] Our party would get kind of weird.

Dan McCoy

[8:31] Now, here's a question.

[8:33] Do you think that multiple Edward Burns would be more exciting than one singular Edward Burns?

[8:37] Yes, I do think that.

Stuart Wellington

[8:38] I very much think that.

[8:39] I actually don't think that works.

[8:41] Okay, explain.

[8:42] Because any time, like, multiplying zero times four, for instance, you still get zero.

Dan McCoy

[8:48] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[8:49] So.

[8:50] I would have gone with the more charitable route and said that that would be like trying to eat a million steaks.

[8:55] Even though steak is delicious, it would be like, oh, God, it's too many steaks.

[8:59] You know what?

[8:59] The steak's ruined now.

[9:00] I don't even want any more steak.

Dan McCoy

[9:01] Because I don't want to, like, I know that this whole podcast is predicated on the idea that we're making fun of things.

[9:07] Yeah, it is.

[9:07] Sort of us being dicks.

[9:08] But I don't want to be too much of a dick about it.

[9:11] But it seems like Edward Burns is one of these actors that they tried to sell us and we rejected.

[9:16] Other than a supporting role in Saving Private Ryan where I don't remember him irritating me.

[9:24] I don't think there's any sort of...

[9:25] He irritated me a little.

Stuart Wellington

[9:26] I'm going to be honest with you.

[9:27] I don't remember Saving Private Ryan at all.

Dan McCoy

[9:28] I would say that he's a charisma black hole.

[9:30] He's just sort of a...

[9:31] He's sort of a blank as a person.

Stuart Wellington

[9:34] He has the Josh Hartnett factor.

[9:36] Yeah.

[9:37] It's that certain inexplicable factor.

[9:38] That factor of lacking a discernible personality.

[9:41] Being very wooden.

[9:42] He's not quite Paul Walker.

[9:45] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[9:46] He doesn't...

[9:47] All light shining into him doesn't vanish into, like, a hole of blackness.

Stuart Wellington

[9:52] There's a certain amount of reflection that happens there.

[9:53] The light reflects a little bit.

[9:55] What we're talking about was Josh Hartnett in this movie?

Dan McCoy

[9:57] Yeah.

[9:58] I...

[9:58] I wouldn't be surprised.

[10:00] I think he was.

[10:01] I know who was in this movie.

[10:03] It was Sir Ben Kingsley.

Stuart Wellington

[10:04] Ben Kingsley was in this movie.

[10:06] Mm-hmm.

[10:07] Was he wearing a wig?

[10:08] He was wearing a wig, Steve.

[10:10] Strange.

[10:10] That's a good memory.

[10:11] He was wearing a bright white wig.

[10:13] And I like that little strip.

[10:15] That little chin strip.

[10:16] Yes.

[10:16] He had a white soul patch as well.

Dan McCoy

[10:18] Go along with his bright white wig.

[10:20] Let's take a minute.

Stuart Wellington

[10:21] He also...

[10:21] I think the most important part of his wardrobe, though, for his character,

[10:24] was the almost permanent shit-eating grin he had.

[10:30] Why did they put him in wigs in so many movies?

Dan McCoy

[10:33] I mean, I guess that they figure that...

Stuart Wellington

[10:35] A rich guy that successful wouldn't be bald?

Dan McCoy

[10:37] I figure that...

[10:37] I think that they think that if we see Ben Kingsley bald, all we can think is Gandhi.

[10:42] Got it.

Stuart Wellington

[10:42] Well, he's been bald in a lot of other movies, too.

[10:44] Yeah.

[10:45] He was bald in...

[10:46] House of Sand and Fog.

[10:49] Sexy Beast.

[10:49] What was that movie?

[10:50] Sexy Beast.

[10:51] He's been involved in a lot of movies.

Dan McCoy

[10:52] Yeah.

[10:53] Better movies than this one.

[10:54] Yes, arguably.

Stuart Wellington

[10:56] Dan, you pointed out something really interesting when I first started watching this movie.

[10:59] This movie was released in 2005.

[11:02] I find that very, very unlikely.

Dan McCoy

[11:04] I think that this movie actually stayed on the shelf for a little while.

[11:08] I find that hard to believe.

[11:09] I'm going to check that on the internet.

Stuart Wellington

[11:12] Because watching this movie, here's the impression that I got.

[11:15] I got the impression of a movie that was made in maybe 1995.

[11:19] Whether or not it sat on the shelf for any amount of time, I think is neither here nor there.

[11:22] But when it was released, it was released direct-to-video.

Dan McCoy

[11:25] Okay, here.

[11:26] Yeah.

[11:26] A Sound of Thunder, 2005 film, directed by Peter Himes.

[11:31] Originally planned for a 2002 release.

[11:34] However, flooding in Prague and other financial difficulties,

[11:38] including the bankruptcy of the original production company during post-production.

[11:42] Yeah, so it was supposed to come out in 2002.

[11:46] Delayed for three years.

Stuart Wellington

[11:48] Wait, wait.

[11:48] The production company that greenlit this movie ran into financial troubles.

[11:53] I find that very unlikely.

[11:54] It's hard to believe.

[11:55] It's not very implausible.

[11:56] It's not apparent from the quality of the movie.

[11:58] Not at all.

Dan McCoy

[11:59] Yeah, well, I think that we can't talk about a Sound of Thunder

[12:01] without talking about the special effects.

[12:03] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[12:04] So, discuss.

[12:06] I'm trying to think of a good...

[12:08] This whole time, I've been trying to think of a touchstone.

[12:10] What other movie had special effects that shitty?

[12:14] That so...

[12:15] Oh, look at that.

[12:16] Really crappy CGI.

[12:18] And I can't come up with a good one.

Dan McCoy

[12:19] I think you have to go to an original sci-fi channel movie.

[12:23] It has to be like Mansquito or something.

[12:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[12:27] I would say...

[12:27] Yeah, it's the Ewok movie quality.

[12:31] No, I made this comment as we were watching the movie.

[12:33] Battle for Endor?

[12:34] Yeah, exactly.

[12:35] There's literally no effect in this movie that could not have been done practically

[12:40] that they didn't do doing CGI.

Stuart Wellington

[12:43] Yeah, like any...

[12:44] Little, little things.

Dan McCoy

[12:45] Yeah, there's a scene in a flooded subway car

[12:49] where there are drips of water coming from the ceiling

[12:51] and they could have easily had actual water dripping from an actual subway car.

[12:57] No, it's too hard to do.

[12:57] No.

Stuart Wellington

[12:57] I think the idea there being that they would have had to have paid for an actual subway car.

[13:02] Like, shit, we've got to find a scrap subway car somewhere.

[13:04] Let's CGI ourselves up a wrecked subway car.

Dan McCoy

[13:06] It's kind of cost a little change to, like, render drips of water.

[13:09] Like, yeah...

[13:10] Okay, there's subway car's flooded.

[13:13] Can you use some sort of computer water?

[13:16] In a computer tunnel, starring computer actors.

[13:19] Edward Burns may have been a CGI effect of some kind.

[13:21] I thought that the entire time.

[13:23] It's like George Lucas' hair.

[13:25] It doesn't actually exist.

[13:26] You're saying...

[13:27] Wait, this is a...

[13:28] I don't care about a sound of Thunderwriters.

[13:30] This is a controversial statement about George Lucas' hair.

Stuart Wellington

[13:33] I've been a firm believer for some time that George Lucas' hair

[13:35] and potentially one of his children is completely CGI.

Dan McCoy

[13:38] Well, here's something that I've wanted to say about George Lucas for some time.

[13:42] Have you noticed that as he's grown older,

[13:44] George Lucas looks more and more like an Ewok himself?

Stuart Wellington

[13:48] That's a tremendously astute point, Dan.

[13:51] He looks like Wicked or something.

[13:53] Not Chief Chirpa?

[13:55] You want to say he's Wicked?

[13:56] Or Medicine Man, as he was called.

[13:58] I don't think he's that lovable.

[14:00] Little teeny!

[14:01] Yeah.

[14:02] That's an excellent point.

[14:04] Do we think that CGI is doing that?

[14:05] Or Time is doing that?

Dan McCoy

[14:07] I think that Time makes Ewoks of us all.

[14:10] Son of a pit!

[14:12] That's going to be on your tombstone, man.

Stuart Wellington

[14:14] Time makes Ewoks of us all!

Dan McCoy

[14:17] So there were a lot of crazy monsters in this film.

[14:19] There sure were, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[14:20] What kind of monsters were there, Stu?

[14:22] What was your favorite monster?

[14:23] My favorite monster...

[14:24] I know this is not going to be a popular choice, but my favorite monster was when a time wave

[14:30] hit him at some point.

[14:32] I don't really remember.

[14:33] It was near the end.

[14:34] But when the lady turned out, turned into a fish monster.

[14:38] I mean, I think that's another really good point to bring up.

[14:40] This movie...

[14:41] Now again, I'm not a scientist.

[14:44] Sure.

[14:44] I said it before, and you know what?

[14:45] I'll be the first two minutes.

[14:46] I have a minimal science background.

Dan McCoy

[14:49] You have no specialization in time travel.

Stuart Wellington

[14:51] No, not at all.

[14:52] But this movie plays it real loose and easy with my understanding of evolution.

[14:56] Yeah.

[14:57] Now, when you change time, one of the interesting things that happens is monkeys and dinosaurs

[15:02] somehow combine into one another.

[15:04] Yeah.

[15:04] Do dinosaurs evolve into monkeys?

[15:06] Reptiles evolve into reptiles.

[15:07] And mammals.

[15:08] I don't know.

[15:09] I can't answer these questions.

[15:10] They're beyond me not being a scientist.

Dan McCoy

[15:11] If you squish a butterfly in the past, reptiles and mammals will mate...

[15:15] Yes, they will.

[15:16] ...into a supreme reptile mammal.

[15:18] A giant kind of baboon that has scales.

[15:21] First time wave brings on a bunch of beetles.

Stuart Wellington

[15:23] Yes.

[15:24] Yes.

[15:24] That's...

[15:25] Remember all the beetles?

[15:26] Remember the good laugh we had about that?

[15:28] We did have a good laugh.

[15:29] There was this part where when they're first sitting in the apartment of a really bitchy,

[15:34] unlikable scientist character...

Dan McCoy

[15:35] One of our three female leads.

[15:37] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[15:38] There was the first time wave hit and they were all...

[15:40] It was the first time that had ever happened.

[15:42] And they hear a scream, they open the door, and there are literally a million beetles out

[15:47] in the hallway.

Dan McCoy

[15:47] I want to backtrack and point out that Edward Burns sneaks his way into this woman's apartment

[15:53] by way of pertaining to be a fertilizer delivery man.

[15:57] Yes, he does.

[15:57] She will not let him in.

[15:58] She's not letting anyone do it into her apartment.

[16:01] But this fertilizer delivery man comes by, and I guess he bribes that fertilizer delivery

[16:05] man.

[16:05] And he's like, hey, let me take that jacket and that bag of fertilizer and I can get into

[16:10] this apartment.

Stuart Wellington

[16:10] I like to imagine a lot of cartoons and other movies, if we looked at some of the deleted

[16:15] scenes, there would be a scene where he reaches out of a supply closet, grabs a fertilizer supply

[16:20] man, pulls him in, a bunch of comic punch sounds, next thing you know he walks out whistling

[16:25] nonchalantly with a big manure bag.

Dan McCoy

[16:27] Well, I mean, that's the only believable solution because, I mean, if there's one thing I know

Stuart Wellington

[16:31] about manure delivery men is that they're pretty much unable to bribe.

[16:35] I mean, they're unbribable.

[16:37] They're unbribable.

[16:38] I mean, with their, you know, their paycheck and that oath and lack of trading their hats

Dan McCoy

[16:44] to be a lot.

[16:45] If there's one thing I know about women, too, it's that they will not open their door to

[16:48] me, but they will open their door to fertilizer delivery men.

[16:51] That's fair.

[16:52] But after the Beatles, after the Beatles came the rolling stoves, Jits.

Stuart Wellington

[16:56] Oh, it's a play on words.

Dan McCoy

[16:59] Now, after the Beatles came a horrible baboon dinosaur hybrid.

Stuart Wellington

[17:03] This was a much later time wave.

[17:05] A later time wave revealed the fact that dinosaurs or monkeys or monkeys and dinosaurs evolved

[17:11] together or they gained the ability to do it with each other.

[17:14] After the next...

[17:15] Because of evolution, I think it's important that we stress that.

[17:17] Let's not...

[17:18] You can't put too fine a point on this.

[17:20] Because a butterfly got killed, evolution made this new species.

Dan McCoy

[17:25] Well, logically, if a butterfly gets killed in the past, you get baboon dinosaurs.

[17:31] After the first time tsunami.

[17:34] And then after the next one, you get giant bats.

[17:38] Yes, bats.

[17:38] Who are just regular bats, but they're giant.

[17:40] But they're really big.

[17:40] But then after the next one...

[17:42] Wildly carnivorous as well.

[17:43] You get baboon bats.

[17:46] Because in evolution, there's a shortage of animals.

Stuart Wellington

[17:48] There are literally three animals.

Dan McCoy

[17:50] There are only a few animals, and they just get combined in different ways.

[17:53] So first come the baboon dinosaurs, then the giant bats, then the giant baboon bats.

[17:58] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[17:58] And then, as Stu brought up, the final monster is when the human lady...

[18:03] She's the last one left behind.

[18:05] There's a shot of her.

[18:06] A time wave goes past.

[18:07] And then she looks like a fish and has the nictitating membrane like the sideways going

[18:12] eyelids.

[18:13] And it totally blew my mind.

[18:14] Because that's...

Dan McCoy

[18:15] I mean, really, I think at the end of the day, humans were like one step away from becoming

[18:19] a fish monster.

[18:20] Yes, that's true.

Stuart Wellington

[18:21] If I'm not mistaken, again, I'm a mid-science background, but I believe, if I'm not mistaken,

[18:25] we share 99% of the same DNA with fish.

[18:28] That's a fact.

[18:29] You can look that up.

[18:29] I learned something.

[18:31] I learned something right now.

[18:32] I think you'll be surprised to discover that.

[18:34] Sure.

[18:34] Now, I'd like to point out the character that the monstrous bats took away was the French scientist.

[18:42] Was he French?

[18:43] Did we say that?

[18:43] I think so.

[18:44] Well, maybe Canadian.

[18:45] Hotwire's a car for them.

[18:46] They're like, whoa, what are you doing, dude?

[18:48] And he says, how do you think I paid my way through medical school?

Dan McCoy

[18:53] We find out, um, larceny.

Stuart Wellington

[18:55] Yeah, and you know what?

Dan McCoy

[18:57] That's such a common thing to happen in movies, where a totally normal guy's like, oh, obviously

Stuart Wellington

[19:02] the way I paid my way through fucking law school was by being a male stripper that also robbed

[19:08] banks.

Dan McCoy

[19:09] Gave that kind of like eyebrow raise, so the audience is like, oh, oh my god, that dude's a lot

Stuart Wellington

[19:14] of my life.

[19:14] I thought.

Stuart Wellington

[19:14] You thought you had a peg.

[19:16] You never knew.

[19:16] It just goes to show.

Dan McCoy

[19:18] Well, that's character development.

[19:20] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:20] Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[19:22] Is this another example of good script writing?

Dan McCoy

[19:24] See, everyone has to have good and bad in them.

[19:26] Oh, okay.

[19:27] And sometimes the bad help in the good.

[19:30] Okay?

[19:31] That's dramatic irony.

[19:32] That is dramatic irony.

Stuart Wellington

[19:33] That's true.

[19:34] And what you also want to do is you want to present it in as, you want to bludgeon the viewer

[19:38] with.

Dan McCoy

[19:38] Yeah.

[19:39] Film is a blunt instrument.

[19:40] Oh my god.

[19:41] Is it?

[19:42] Is it blunt?

[19:43] Directors should strive to take the celluloid, wrap it around the audience's neck and squeeze.

Stuart Wellington

[19:49] Like, look, look at this fucking movie.

[19:52] Oh, time travel.

[19:54] If I had the opportunity, I'd never do.

[19:56] It's too dangerous.

[19:57] I don't want to play with fire like that.

[19:58] Now, I'd like to point out who chose this movie.

[20:00] I did.

[20:01] Okay?

[20:02] So, I'd just like to point out that Dan is a total dick for making the lessons.

[20:08] I mean, you know, I'm the one who picked memory.

[20:11] Sure, that's my fault.

[20:13] Okay?

[20:13] My bad.

[20:13] I knew it was going to be bad, but this was really bad, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[20:17] Yeah, well, no.

[20:18] I just hope by the end of this, you have some kind of a...

[20:20] That is sort of the point of the whole endeavor.

Stuart Wellington

[20:22] Yeah, but I think you kind of owe us all apologies.

[20:25] So, you kind of need to work on that before the end of this whole thing.

[20:28] All right.

[20:28] A formal apology to us.

[20:30] I'll give a little thought about it.

[20:31] And possibly to the world, like, on behalf of this movie.

[20:35] Well, he's a count for the movie?

[20:37] Well, just, why not?

Dan McCoy

[20:38] I didn't have anything to do with the production.

[20:40] I don't know if you understand the concept of this.

[20:42] There's no proof of that, actually.

[20:44] I think that's fair.

Stuart Wellington

[20:47] Where did this movie come from?

[20:48] What was the form of media that brought us this movie?

Dan McCoy

[20:51] I think I DVR'd this off of cable.

[20:53] Off of cable.

[20:54] What cable network?

[20:55] I think this might have been a Cinemax.

[20:57] Okay, now Cinemax.

Stuart Wellington

[20:59] Cinemax isn't going to...

[21:00] They're not going to format their movies or edit it for time, are they?

[21:03] Yeah.

[21:03] This movie at the beginning said that it was...

[21:06] It had an N or a BN or however they abbreviate it for brief nudity.

Dan McCoy

[21:10] Stu, do you remember there being any brief nudity?

Stuart Wellington

[21:12] I remember how my spirits count lifted when I saw the BN.

[21:16] It made me...

[21:17] It reminded me of when I was a child of roughly 12 years old.

[21:21] And I would see that BN.

[21:22] That flutter of excitement.

[21:23] That flutter of excitement.

[21:23] And I'd be like, I'm going to watch this entire movie, God's be damned.

[21:27] And you know what?

[21:28] I watched this entire movie.

[21:30] Maybe it was those weird dinosaur or monkey monsters that account for it.

[21:34] The movie was really boring.

[21:35] Maybe you fell asleep during it.

[21:36] Dan, did you remember any brief nudity?

Dan McCoy

[21:38] No.

[21:39] Okay.

[21:39] There was no long nudity.

[21:41] There was no brief nudity.

Stuart Wellington

[21:42] There was no brief nudity.

[21:43] The closest form of nudity was that one girl's shoulders at the very beginning.

[21:49] I don't think that counts as nudity.

Dan McCoy

[21:51] The one girl...

[21:51] I don't think we should pass this without comment.

[21:55] There's a woman early in the film.

[21:57] As far as I'm able to discern, the point is just that Edward Burns sleeps with her and

[22:02] then she disappears from the film entirely.

Stuart Wellington

[22:05] Well, it's, again, I think this is one of those moments of good screenwriting you were talking

[22:09] about.

[22:09] This shows that Edward Burns is desirable as a man.

[22:14] Right.

[22:14] He is an attractive man to women.

[22:16] Even though he's a scientist, don't get the idea that he's a wimp because he scores with

[22:20] chicks literally all the time.

Dan McCoy

[22:22] Well, this is basically the screenwriter saying, yes, we got Edward Burns to play this part,

[22:27] but he is, in fact, the hero of this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[22:30] And you know he's the hero because heroes get laid.

[22:32] Yeah.

[22:33] You wouldn't know without it.

[22:34] Right.

[22:34] Otherwise, I think he was...

[22:36] Who's a boring dude?

[22:37] This boring guy.

[22:39] Is he the bad guy?

[22:40] Why is he trying to destroy time?

[22:42] What a jerk.

[22:42] And then you're like, oh, if that girl wants to do it with him, he's the hero.

[22:46] Got it.

[22:47] Got it.

[22:48] Yeah.

[22:50] There was the most desolate story, like, yeah, man, I don't know, man, I don't know what

[22:54] to tell you.

[22:55] I just want to point out, it did suggest brief nudity, and I think that's a disturbing

[23:00] like trend in movies, specifically on like Cinemax and stuff, where they'll be like, you know,

[23:06] this is rated R because it's a B and a brief nudity.

[23:09] And I think more often than not, they err on the side of caution for movies that aren't

[23:14] even close to, don't even have close to nudity.

[23:17] Sure.

[23:17] Whereas it's very, very rare for them to say, oh, this movie has brief nudity, when

[23:22] in fact it's like, actually there's tons of nudity.

Dan McCoy

[23:24] Right.

[23:24] Like there's rarely a mistake.

[23:25] I see.

Stuart Wellington

[23:25] The idea being that like, you don't want to be that weirdo that undershoots it, like,

[23:29] yeah, I think there's a little bit of nudity in it, and then everyone would be shocked,

[23:32] like, dude, that movie was filled with nudity.

[23:34] You come back as brief nudity?

[23:36] What are you, a monster?

[23:37] Like, well, brief is less than a third of the movie.

[23:40] I mean, like, I don't know, in my life, I don't see nudity like every day, all day

[23:45] long.

[23:45] Now, Dan, would you classify this as, say, a regular style movie or a disaster movie?

[23:51] That's a great point.

[23:51] I was thinking about this movie as we were watching it.

[23:54] Remember, what was it called?

[23:54] There's no bad guys to think.

[23:56] There's no bad guys to think.

[23:59] The time?

Dan McCoy

[24:01] Time is sort of a dick in that movie.

[24:02] I guess Ben Kingsley is sort of the bad guy in that he decided that the best application

[24:08] for time travel would be these weird safari shooting parties.

[24:12] Yeah.

[24:12] However, like, the woman that we're supposed to sympathize with who invented time travel,

[24:17] who's so angry at Ben Kingsley.

[24:19] Sure, she hates him.

[24:19] For sending people back in time because he might change the future.

[24:23] What was she going to use time travel for that was less dangerous?

[24:26] Right.

[24:27] Less possibly destructive.

Stuart Wellington

Dan McCoy

[24:30] Like, if she went back in time, she is just as likely to fucking step on a butterfly.

Stuart Wellington

[24:34] Step on a goddamn butterfly, of course.

[24:37] If I actually owned a company that had the exclusive ability to send people back in time,

[24:43] I would probably set it up so that people could go back in time to, like, hunt people back in the past.

[24:50] Be like the most dangerous time travel safari.

[24:54] Yeah, exactly.

[24:55] Honey, the most dangerous prey.

[24:57] Danes.

[24:58] Yep.

[24:58] Hunting Danish people.

[25:00] Invading England.

[25:01] A shitload of ninjas.

[25:02] How much better would this movie have been, Viking safari?

[25:05] If they went back in the past to engage in, like, Viking-like raiding parties.

[25:10] And then someone accidentally, like, I don't know, kills the king of the Vikings.

[25:14] And then as a result, there are dinosaurs who can shoot lasers out of their eyes.

[25:18] How much better would this have been as a movie?

Dan McCoy

[25:19] That sounds like an awesome movie.

[25:21] See?

Stuart Wellington

[25:22] What if, like, the dinosaurs were super-evolved and could talk and were like,

[25:26] Yes.

[25:26] Hmm, you totally screwed up the future and we're not going to let you change it, losers.

[25:30] Yeah, because whatever would be the best part, the dinosaurs would also know what had happened with the time travel.

[25:35] So you want to...

[25:36] They've evolved to the point where they obviously understand what happened.

Dan McCoy

[25:39] So you wanted to be like that movie where there's a Tyrannosaurus Rex who is Whoopi Goldberg's partner and they're both cops.

[25:47] Wait a minute, what movie is that?

[25:49] Is that a real movie?

[25:50] There is a movie.

Stuart Wellington

[25:51] Son of a bitch, what movie is this?

[25:52] And that Tyrannosaurus Rex wears...

[25:54] Hold on.

[25:54] You know, Converse All-Stars with the...

[25:57] Is that movie called Detective Tyrannosaurus Rex?

[26:00] It's called Detective-Saurus Rex, actually.

[26:03] Holy shit, that's way better.

[26:04] It's called Magnum P. Rex.

[26:07] Holy shit, is it real?

[26:09] Oh my god, is that the original title?

[26:12] No, wait, hold on.

[26:13] I'm getting it.

[26:14] It's called Constable Rex.

Dan McCoy

[26:16] Theodore Rex.

[26:18] A.K.A. T-Rex.

[26:20] That is amazing.

[26:22] Now, tagline, the world's toughest cop is getting a brand new partner.

[26:27] He's a real blast from the past.

Stuart Wellington

[26:29] Sure, because he's done as well.

Dan McCoy

[26:30] He comes from the past.

[26:31] That's the pun.

Stuart Wellington

[26:32] Hey, instead of talking about the Days of Thunder, let's talk about this movie.

[26:37] Now, I haven't seen this movie, but I'm pretty sure it's really good.

[26:40] I have a question.

[26:41] How does a dinosaur become a police officer, Simon?

[26:46] Well, I think Dan was suggesting that, much like in your scenario, the dinosaur is super intelligent.

[26:52] Okay.

[26:52] He's easily qualified to pass any kind of detective's test.

[26:55] Sure.

[26:56] He becomes a detective.

[26:57] Well, first he'd have to join the police force.

[26:59] Well, sure.

[27:00] He would join the police force.

[27:01] Now, do you think his weird atrophied limbs, do you think those would hinder his ability to come?

[27:05] No.

[27:06] No, I don't think that.

[27:07] Okay, why do you not think that?

[27:08] Do you think the average caliber bullet could stop a Tyrannosaurus Rex?

[27:12] Could pierce its hide?

[27:13] Yes.

[27:14] Probably not, man.

[27:15] Okay, so he wouldn't need to worry about getting into a shootout.

[27:17] In most cases, he could just run up to a criminal and be a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and they would

Dan McCoy

[27:23] be so afraid that he would easily arrest them.

[27:25] Okay, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[27:25] Now, is this Tyrannosaurus Rex roughly human height?

Dan McCoy

[27:29] No, I think he's normal size?

[27:31] No, he's roughly human height.

[27:33] Well, that's a little bit weird then.

Stuart Wellington

[27:34] I don't think he's a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

[27:35] Does he get shrunk also?

Dan McCoy

[27:36] Maybe he's a child.

[27:38] See, I imagine...

Stuart Wellington

[27:39] He's a baby Tyrannosaurus Rex!

Dan McCoy

[27:41] I imagine he gets into the force because he comes from a family police officer.

[27:44] Sure, yeah.

[27:45] A dynasty, so I think we call it a dynasty.

[27:47] A dynor-sty?

[27:48] Yes.

[27:48] Oh, shit.

[27:49] I'd like to take this moment to point out that Jonathan R. Butyl, the director of Theodore

[27:55] Rex, the thing he made right before that, it was two episodes of Freddy's Nightmares he

[28:00] directed.

Stuart Wellington

[28:01] Weird.

[28:02] And I think, Dan, if you scroll down, you'll be surprised to see he co-wrote.

[28:06] The script of the movie we watched this evening.

[28:07] What?

[28:08] Yep.

[28:09] He's a huge dinosaur enthusiast.

[28:11] He likes imagining different types of dinosaurs.

Dan McCoy

[28:13] Well, I think that the fact that we're more interested in discussing...

Stuart Wellington

[28:16] In whatever random fucking movies we can imagine that we...

[28:21] Like, hey, here's a weird movie by someone talking to us as a kid.

[28:24] Let's talk about that for a little bit.

Dan McCoy

[28:26] The fact that we're more interested in a movie that we did not watch this evening points to

[28:31] where this may be headed.

[28:32] Well, it signifies.

[28:33] But I think that it's the time in the program where we need to talk about our final judgments.

Stuart Wellington

[28:38] For what it's worth, I want to point out that I'm fucking Nostradamus, because I remember

[28:42] turning you during this movie and being like, I don't think we're going to be able to fill

[28:45] a half hour talking about this movie.

[28:47] We'll be sidetracked.

[28:48] I know it.

Dan McCoy

[28:48] Well, I don't...

[28:49] I like dinosaurs.

[28:51] Wait, we're going to bring us back.

[28:52] Stu, high five.

[28:53] This podcast is designed to be able to easily accommodate digressions.

[28:58] Sure, that's true.

[28:59] It's known as the magic of editing.

Stuart Wellington

[29:01] Most of this will be edited.

[29:02] No one will ever hear of this.

Dan McCoy

[29:03] All right.

[29:03] The official Flophouse category is yet again.

[29:06] Yes.

[29:06] Is this a movie that we did not like at all?

[29:10] Mm-hmm.

[29:10] A movie that you might recommend to someone as a bad film?

[29:15] Or a movie that you secretly sort of liked?

Stuart Wellington

[29:18] I would rate this movie as a movie that is...

[29:23] That's not what we're saying.

[29:23] I don't even have a joke.

[29:24] I don't even have the energy to make a joke out of that.

[29:26] This movie sucked all the joy out of me.

[29:28] You know, if the movie had actually carried through on the brief nudity and maybe one

[29:36] of the hyper-evolved dinosaur monkeys had talked and stuff, I might have said that it was

[29:42] a movie worth recommending to somebody.

[29:45] But because it didn't have either of those two things, I would not recommend it to anybody.

Dan McCoy

[29:50] In fact, I kind of want to die.

Stuart Wellington

[29:52] Well, I think you bring up an excellent point with this movie.

[29:55] I think one of the weirdest phenomenons in movies is that you have to think that most

[29:59] people, they work on a project and they're like, oh, this is just kind of fun, stupid

[30:03] little idea I have.

[30:04] I don't understand why they want to hold themselves back.

[30:08] And like, well, I mean, I know it's not the best movie ever, but let's kind of, let's

[30:12] take it seriously.

[30:13] Instead of being like, you know what?

[30:15] Fuck it.

[30:15] Let's have one of the dinosaurs talk at the end.

[30:17] What if the dinosaurs could also breathe fire?

[30:19] Wouldn't that be weird?

[30:19] Let's have that be in the movie.

[30:21] What if the dinosaurs drove cars that were shaped like people?

[30:25] That'd be weird too.

[30:27] Like no one ever is just like, you know what?

[30:28] This movie sucks.

[30:29] Fuck it.

[30:29] I'm going to have some fun with this.

[30:30] Yeah.

[30:31] If this movie had at least been fun, I would have been like, yeah, great.

Dan McCoy

[30:35] Awesome.

[30:35] Well, I mean, you asked me while we were watching it, Simon, what lesson, what is supposed to

[30:41] take away from this film?

[30:42] And all I could say was, if you go back in time, don't step on anything.

Stuart Wellington

[30:47] And I learned my lesson.

Dan McCoy

[30:48] I'll never do this.

[30:48] Which is too dangerous.

[30:50] Really applicable to our day-to-day lives.

[30:53] I'm going to jump on the bag wagon too and say like, it hurts me to say this because

[30:57] this movie does have some crazy ass special effects.

[31:01] It has giant bats.

[31:02] It has bat monkeys.

[31:04] It has dinosaur monkeys.

[31:06] It has Sir Ben Kingsley.

[31:08] Really underutilized.

[31:09] In a fright wig.

Stuart Wellington

[31:11] He bought it at a Spencer's gift.

Dan McCoy

[31:14] But I would not recommend this movie to be watched at all.

Stuart Wellington

[31:17] Yeah, I don't.

[31:18] You know what's weird?

[31:20] Ben Kingsley was in this movie.

[31:21] He was in this movie.

[31:23] He was in Blood Rain.

[31:24] He was in Gandhi and House of Satan's Fog.

[31:26] He was in this movie and Blood Rain.

[31:28] That's fucking weird.

[31:30] Like what a weird ass dude.

[31:32] Like, you know what?

[31:32] It makes me kind of respect him a lot more.

[31:35] He's like, you know what?

[31:36] I'm in movies.

[31:37] That's what I do.

[31:37] So when a movie comes along, I am in it.

[31:39] That is my job.

[31:40] Similar to the idea of I am a plumber.

[31:42] What I do is I fix plumbing.

[31:44] If there's plumbing that needs to be fixed, I go and I fix it.

[31:47] I am in movies.

[31:48] That is what I do.

Dan McCoy

[31:49] Even movies I am not offered.

[31:51] I will appear in them.

Stuart Wellington

[31:53] I'll appear under the pseudonym, the nom de gore F. Marie Abraham.

Dan McCoy

[32:00] So to sum up, a sign of thunder, everyone.

[32:03] A sign of thunder.

Stuart Wellington

[32:05] Yeah, really bad.

Dan McCoy

[32:07] So to prove, as we do, that we are not entirely sad bastards who hate the world and everything

[32:16] in it.

[32:16] I like stuff.

[32:17] This is the part of the show where we recommend things that we actually enjoyed.

[32:22] Dan, why don't you start us off?

[32:23] I will start, I'm glad that I started, because I was actually thinking during this last week,

[32:28] what the heck am I going to recommend?

[32:29] Because I hadn't seen movies that I really liked recently.

[32:33] But I did catch Flushed Away, the computer animated.

Stuart Wellington

[32:36] That's right, that's one about the guy who gets flushed down the toilet.

[32:38] Hugh Jackman.

[32:39] Yes.

[32:40] That's a movie where Hugh Jackman gets flushed down the toilet.

[32:42] Now I remember that.

[32:43] It's called Ghoulies.

[32:45] You're thinking of Ghoulies.

[32:47] And yes, that is a good movie.

[32:48] Dan, you're right.

[32:49] You win tonight's podcast.

Dan McCoy

[32:50] It's an Ardman Animations movie.

[32:54] You know, the people who do Laws and Gromit.

[32:56] And it's like, they're a computer-generated animated movie.

[33:00] And I saw the trailers for this.

[33:01] I'm like, I don't want to see this movie.

[33:02] This is about toilets.

[33:04] And the sewer.

Stuart Wellington

[33:06] Like, you son of a bitch.

[33:07] That's what you took from those trailers?

[33:09] You don't have, like, movies about toilets?

Dan McCoy

[33:12] Fuck this.

[33:12] No, it looked like, it was like, hmm, how can we make a cartoon that's completely scatological

Stuart Wellington

[33:18] humor?

[33:19] Well, okay, that's fair.

[33:20] Like, it's a movie about, like, in a kingdom of mice, they ride around.

[33:23] They ride on turd, perhaps.

[33:25] Because they live in the toilet.

[33:26] But I liked it.

[33:27] Okay, so you did see that it was good.

[33:29] Were there an inordinate number of turd jokes?

Dan McCoy

[33:31] It was a little more crass than your average, like, Wallace and Gromit or chicken run.

Stuart Wellington

[33:37] Well, it was, after all, based on toilets and the sewer.

[33:40] I thought it was really good.

[33:42] Yeah, you got it.

Dan McCoy

[33:43] You got it.

[33:43] I enjoyed it.

[33:45] Stewart?

[33:46] I think Simon's nice.

[33:47] Oh, Christ on his cross.

Stuart Wellington

[33:50] I have a, I have a, I'm having very much a similar crisis right now.

[33:53] I have no idea what to recommend.

[33:54] Um, saw a couple movies the other day.

[33:56] Um, saw Knocked Up Again.

[33:58] And that was really good, but I've already seen that.

[34:00] And it doesn't really count, because I've already seen it.

[34:02] I already knew it was good.

[34:03] And I watched it specifically because I knew it was good.

[34:05] And what did you watch with that girl the other night?

[34:07] Uh, well, that's The Burbs.

[34:09] And that, again, I don't think...

[34:11] Alright, alright, I recommend The Burbs.

[34:13] I rewatched The Burbs, and The Burbs is a really good movie.

[34:16] You know, I'm gonna back you up on that.

[34:17] I like the thing that The Burbs got you laid.

[34:19] Mm-hmm.

[34:20] That movie was really good, because I thought, I didn't know that was Joe Dante.

[34:23] I love Joe Dante.

[34:23] The same guy who brought us Gremlins.

[34:25] Those are two really good movies.

[34:27] I really like The Burbs and The Gremlins.

[34:29] We should review those movies.

[34:31] Man, I like...

[34:31] Those are fun, good movies to watch.

[34:33] I like Joe Dante.

[34:34] I like this piece of shit movie it was.

Dan McCoy

[34:35] Other than, I mean, like, I like The Burbs, I like Gremlins.

[34:37] I like Gremlins 2.

[34:39] Gremlins 2's good, too.

[34:40] I like, uh, Matinee.

[34:42] That's it.

[34:42] I've never...

[34:43] I'm not familiar with that movie.

[34:43] I like The Howling.

Stuart Wellington

[34:44] The Howling?

[34:45] Okay.

[34:46] Joe Dante.

[34:47] So, uh, let's see.

[34:51] Recommending.

[34:51] I think this is not necessarily gonna be a really popular thing to say.

[34:56] But I'm really excited about going to see Eastern Promises, the new David Cronenberg movie.

[35:02] Okay.

[35:02] Yeah.

[35:03] I can't stir it.

[35:04] You don't...

[35:04] You misunderstand.

[35:05] Oh, goddammit.

Dan McCoy

[35:06] It's like...

[35:07] Oh, god.

[35:08] You have not yet seen this film, so I don't know that you can recommend it.

[35:11] No, you can't.

[35:12] You can't.

[35:13] What you're doing is you're recommending your own anticipation about seeing...

[35:17] So, if you're Stuart, you might enjoy thinking about seeing Eastern Promises.

Stuart Wellington

[35:21] You're surely looking forward to that.

[35:24] So, wait.

[35:24] A movie I have actually watched...

[35:26] Recently that you would recommend to think.

[35:28] I just bought Death Proof.

[35:29] I got to watch the extended version of Death Proof.

[35:32] That was good.

[35:33] And that was really good.

[35:34] That's right.

[35:34] I really enjoyed it.

[35:35] It took...

[35:36] You know, it wasn't until the second or third viewing that I really enjoyed it, but totally

[35:39] worth it.

[35:40] All right.

[35:41] Actually, I did it.

[35:42] I did it, guys.

[35:44] I did it.

[35:44] We'll throw your party after the podcast is finished.

Dan McCoy

[35:47] Yay!

[35:49] You can drink the one remaining beer.

[35:51] Mm-hmm.

[35:51] That's the prize.

[35:52] So, I guess...

[35:53] There we are.

[35:54] Hmm.

[35:55] Wow.

[35:56] It's always hard to say goodbye at the end of the...

[35:59] Especially when it ends with a whimper and not with a bang.

[36:02] No.

[36:03] Well...

[36:03] Thematically, I think that's in keeping with the sound of thunder.

[36:07] That's...

[36:08] Art imitates life, man.

[36:09] And my sadness at having to say goodbye to you, the audience, and to you, Simon Stewart.

[36:16] I got to go back to where I live and sleep.

Stuart Wellington

[36:19] This is the most boring one ever.

[36:21] Jesus Christ.

[36:22] Oh, Christ.

[36:24] Let's pick up the pace.

[36:25] Okay.

[36:25] Hey, man!

[36:26] Holy shit!

[36:27] What a weird-ass movie.

[36:28] Peace out, nerds!

[36:31] On that note...

[36:32] Let's say goodbye to you for another couple of weeks.

Dan McCoy

[36:38] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[36:39] Take a couple weeks off if you really reflect on this.

Dan McCoy

[36:41] Simon, I believe that I asked you to think about a movie that we might watch next time.

Stuart Wellington

[36:47] While Simon's thinking about that, Dave, you should keep going.

[36:49] I'm up with a really good apology.

[36:51] I haven't forgotten that.

[36:52] Oh, sorry.

Dan McCoy

[36:52] To all of you who are Simon and Stewart...

[36:56] And?

[36:58] And to America...

[36:59] Yes.

[37:00] I would like to apologize personally for the sound of thunder.

[37:04] That it exists at all.

[37:05] That it exists at all.

[37:06] That I did not invent some sort of time machine and went back in time.

[37:13] Convince Peter Himes, director of End of Days, not to make this film.

[37:18] If I had any sort of temporal device, rest assured that episode three of The Flophouse would

[37:25] have been us watching Theodore Rex.

[37:28] Nice.

Stuart Wellington

[37:29] If I had a time machine, I'd go back and steal a dinosaur.

[37:32] And you know what I would do?

[37:33] I would ride that dinosaur around.

[37:35] I'd go take it to work.

[37:36] It would be my pet.

[37:37] I would go to the park with it.

[37:38] I thought you were going to say, if I had a time machine, I would go steal a diamond.

[37:44] Why do you need a time machine?

[37:46] Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[37:46] Are we planning a diamond heist?

[37:49] Phase one, get a time machine.

[37:50] Okay.

[37:51] Phase two, go and steal all the world's diamonds.

[37:53] Phase two, go back in time and steal a piece of coal, which will become a diamond in the future.

Dan McCoy

[37:59] Wait, that's not how time machines work.

Stuart Wellington

[38:01] No, no, no, no, no.

[38:01] I think that's too time-based.

[38:03] I like the idea that you use a time machine and steal all the diamonds in the world.

[38:08] Because that's not a monopoly on diamonds.

Dan McCoy

[38:10] But the irony would be, if you stole all the diamonds in the world in the past, then diamonds

[38:14] wouldn't be worth anything in the future.

Stuart Wellington

[38:16] Because no one would ever know about the diamonds existed.

[38:18] You show them and they're like, what's that strange looking piece of glass?

[38:22] And I'd say it's not glass, it's a diamond.

[38:23] All right, okay, so, rephrase.

[38:25] If I had a time machine, I would go back and time and steal half the world's diamonds.

[38:29] Ah, raising the price of diamonds considerably.

[38:33] I would be called Diamondsaurus Rex.

[38:35] Hey, Dan, I just got a great idea for a movie we should watch next time.

[38:38] No shit.

[38:39] It just came to me in real time.

[38:40] Oh my god.

[38:41] Uh, 23.

[38:43] Wait, what's that?

[38:44] That's the one.

[38:44] 23, the movie 23?

[38:46] Yes, the movie 23, the one with Jim Carrey in it.

[38:48] The number 23.

Dan McCoy

[38:49] Wait, what was it called?

Stuart Wellington

[38:51] Oh, it was called The Number 23.

[38:52] Let's watch that.

Dan McCoy

[38:53] I believe that's a Joel Schumacher joint.

Stuart Wellington

[38:55] Well, Joel Schumacher has literally always let me down, except for one movie, so.

Dan McCoy

[39:00] Well, on that note of remembrance of Lost Boys past, let's say goodbye for this episode

[39:06] of the Flophouse.

[39:07] I'm Dan McCoy.

[39:10] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[39:11] I'm Simon Fisher.

[39:13] Good night.

[39:13] So loud.

Stuart Wellington

[39:23] That's when you should have said, uh...

Dan McCoy

[39:25] And I'm Sarah Hampton, McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[39:27] That would have been a really good twist ending.

Dan McCoy

[39:29] And I'm Sarah Hampton, McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[39:31] Like, there was a fourth person the whole time.

[39:34] I think Sarah should record a bumper course.

[39:37] That's a good idea.

[39:37] Like, you guys are listening to the fucking Flophouse, bitch.

[39:40] Yep.

[39:41] Like, really, well, I'm really sassy with a lot of bad attitude.

[39:44] Yeah.

[39:45] Like, hey, you fucking puds.

S3

[39:47] Give us a bumper.

[39:47] Bad.

[39:48] I'm over here.

The Flop House: Episode Three - A Sound of Thunder

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