The Flop House: Episode Six - Perfect Stranger

[0:00] Tonight on the Flophouse, we discuss Perfect Stranger, the finest Bruce Willis thriller since Color of Night.

[0:31] And now a partial synopsis of Perfect Stranger, courtesy of Wikipedia.

[0:37] The film opens with reporter Rowena Price, Halle Berry, and researcher Miles, Giovanni Ribisi,

[0:43] going after a conservative senator who has been having sexual encounters with his male interns.

[0:48] Rowena confronts the senator and records audio evidence.

[0:52] However, the story is shut down when the source clams up shortly thereafter, and Rowena's editor puts a stop to the story.

[0:58] Disgusted, Rowena quits her job.

[1:01] While walking home, she meets her childhood friend, Grace, who seeks her help in taking down Harrison Hill, Bruce Willis, a wealthy businessman.

[1:09] Grace gives her emails as proof of their extramarital affair, which he recently ended.

[1:14] A few days later, Grace is found dead, leading Rowena to suspect Harrison.

[1:19] With Miles' help, Rowena goes undercover as a temp at his company.

[1:23] She flirts with Harrison, both online and in real life, but he catches her snooping and fires her, believing her to be a corporate spy.

[1:30] At Miles' apartment, Rowena discovers a shrine to herself and explicit pictures of Miles and Grace.

[1:36] Miles arrives home and they have a falling out.

[1:38] Rowena goes to the police with evidence she and Miles uncovered, who arrest Harrison for the murder of Grace.

[1:44] What happens next? Is Bruce Willis the murderer, or is there a shocking twist ending that Simon is sure to hate?

[1:51] Let's join the others in The Flop House.

[2:22] It feels like someone wrote this script when the internet first hit.

[2:27] Because so much of it is based on AOL chatroom shit.

[2:31] It feels like someone wrote this and it's been kicking around different studios for the last 12-15 years.

[2:37] Right, well this belongs to that school of thriller, which is, a bunch of creepy stuff happens online, huh?

[2:45] I mean, because it's all based around...

[2:48] Online.

[2:49] Online, specifically romantic instant message style hookups.

[2:54] But as you point out, it appears to occur in AOL chatrooms.

[2:58] Now I remember, now I can vividly remember being in about, I want to say 6th grade.

[3:04] Okay, and I can be absolutely certain, but I vividly remember hanging out with a friend,

[3:07] who was one of the first people I knew that had the internet,

[3:10] and it was fucking, the only thing to do on the internet was AOL chatrooms.

[3:14] And this would have been almost 20 years ago.

[3:17] So you log in and you're like, any other horny 13 year old?

[3:22] Pretty much, you would literally be like, hey let's look at all the different chatroom headings.

[3:27] And they're all ultimately the same, they would be like, oh this one's for, I don't know, roleplay,

[3:32] or this one's for comic book enthusiasts, or whatever.

[3:35] But it all ended up being the same thing, just a bunch of, I don't know, 13 year old fuckers being like,

[3:39] hey, what's up, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,

[3:43] I'm like, get this guy out of here.

[3:45] And like that was it, that was the internet 15 to 20 years ago.

[3:49] So Giovanni Ribisi, Giovanni Ribisi plays Halle Berry's tech-savvy friend in this.

[3:57] I think friend's probably the only way we can describe it, I guess.

[3:59] Yeah.

[4:00] Friends slash comedy? Halle Berry is a reporter, and Giovanni Ribisi appears to be in some sort of reporter support.

[4:08] The thing about Giovanni Ribisi's character is that he wears a lot of hats.

[4:12] Throughout the movie, like, he's a friend, he's, you know, an unrequited lover, he's some other shit.

[4:20] See, I thought-

[4:21] Eventually he's a victim, that's the thing.

[4:23] For a second I thought you meant that he literally wore a lot of hats.

[4:27] Honestly, honestly, Dan, I thought that was the same thing too.

[4:31] Halle Berry is the one.

[4:32] I'm like, stupid, he did not wear any hats, you were thinking of Halle Berry's character.

[4:35] She wore a bunch of jaunty caps through the entire film.

[4:38] Which was also a weirdly, what's the word, not apocryphal, when it's out of time, anachronistic sort of touch.

[4:48] I don't know, ladies these days seem to like hats.

[4:50] Yeah, but not like, sort of-

[4:52] Cheese cutter, as I believe the name is of the hat.

[4:54] They're sort of like country squire-

[4:56] Cheese cutter.

[4:57] They're gonna go fox hunting, sort of.

[4:58] It's called a cheese cutter.

[4:59] Caps.

[5:00] The point I was gonna make was that Chief Hunter Breezy is sort of the Jimmy Olsen character, let's say.

[5:06] Yeah, but imagine in a 90s, or I guess 2000 plus kind of attitude.

[5:12] You know, he seems to drink a lot, he does some hard living.

[5:15] Yeah, they all hang out at the bar Chumlee's together.

[5:18] Chumlee's, which is somewhere on the west side, you can check it out if you live in New York.

[5:21] Near the Christopher Street stop.

[5:23] Chumlee's, check it out.

[5:24] They want to take down Bruce Willis.

[5:27] They want to take him down.

[5:28] They want to do a sting.

[5:29] Dan, why do they want to take him down?

[5:31] Well, Halle Berry's-

[5:32] On the surface, or in the real world?

[5:34] Yeah, on the surface.

[5:35] Halle Berry's friend-

[5:36] What was the friend's name?

[5:38] I challenge you to remember.

[5:40] Camille?

[5:41] Grace.

[5:42] Yes, it was Camomile.

[5:43] It's Grace.

[5:44] You were close.

[5:45] Once again, I remembered the character's name the best.

[5:47] Was it Grace?

[5:48] Yes, it was Grace.

[5:49] Okay, I'm gonna trust you because I don't remember either.

[5:50] Halle Berry's friend turns up dead after mentioning becoming acquainted with Bruce Willis via chat.

[5:58] Harrison Hill.

[5:59] What's his name?

[6:00] Harrison Hill, who I kept thinking that his name was Harold Hill,

[6:03] which is the protagonist of the hit musical The Music Man,

[6:07] and I thought that maybe Halle Berry was going to take him down for running a band scam

[6:11] where he went from town to town selling band instruments.

[6:14] But it was really a scam.

[6:15] Yeah.

[6:16] Like in The Music Man.

[6:17] Exactly.

[6:18] The plot of The Music Man.

[6:19] Sure.

[6:20] A film I would have rather watched.

[6:22] Really?

[6:23] I like The Music Man.

[6:25] Okay.

[6:26] I'm not going to fight you on this one.

[6:28] We have gone very circuitous.

[6:31] Yes, that's true.

[6:32] Much like the film Perfect Stranger, we are specializing in elliptical storytelling.

[6:37] Yes.

[6:38] Let's just touch on that real quick.

[6:41] Watching the beginning of this movie felt like I had just happened to catch a soap opera on a day off.

[6:47] It was like, didn't you talk to Jonathan?

[6:49] Jonathan and Cam were already here.

[6:51] They brought Christopher with them.

[6:52] Like, who the fuck are these characters?

[6:54] Why are you just rattling off names?

[6:56] Perhaps you had stumbled into someone else's high school reunion.

[7:01] Like, people were trying to, you know, Jonathan.

[7:03] Jonathan's now working with Edgar.

[7:07] Thomas was there.

[7:08] Thomas and Beverly.

[7:10] They were in a big fight.

[7:12] For a movie that was ultimately very, very stupid, it was very difficult to follow from the beginning.

[7:18] You're a prick.

[7:19] Yes, that's true.

[7:20] It was incredibly difficult to follow.

[7:21] Mainly because they were just, literally they were just shotgunning out names.

[7:25] Well, part of it is because Halle Berry's character uses a nom de plume.

[7:30] Nom de gueule.

[7:31] Yeah.

[7:32] For when she writes investigative journalist stories, which is a man's name,

[7:37] which I think is kind of setting you up for the rest of the movie,

[7:40] because it's all about different identities.

[7:43] Sure.

[7:44] Like, who are you really, you know what I mean?

[7:46] Who is this stranger?

[7:47] Well, that's one of the things.

[7:48] Who is Simon?

[7:49] The movie brings up the whole idea of, like, in this information age.

[7:54] Well, specifically in this Internet age.

[7:56] Yeah, in this Internet age.

[7:57] What defines us as people?

[7:59] Right.

[8:00] Hypothetically, I could get on the Internet right now and create whatever false identity I wanted,

[8:04] and who's to know?

[8:06] Simon Fisher would be hidden beneath a number of, like, Chinese screens.

[8:10] Well, that's the point that I sort of wanted to get at,

[8:15] which was Halle Berry's character believes that Harrison Hill killed this woman,

[8:21] as the intrepid girl reporter she is,

[8:23] she is going to lure him into her world of Internet instant messaging,

[8:29] which she knows that he is fond of.

[8:31] And to do this, she gets tech-savvy Giovanni Ribisi to set up an IM account for her.

[8:39] Yes.

[8:40] She actually has him set it up for her.

[8:42] She can't do it herself.

[8:43] This is beyond her skills.

[8:45] And I think you pointed this out, Simon, her name was Rocket?

[8:49] Yeah, her name was, hey, he's like, what name do you want?

[8:52] And she's like, how about Rocket?

[8:54] That was my nickname in college.

[8:56] First of all, no one's nickname was Rocket.

[8:58] Just literally.

[8:59] Certainly not Halle Berry.

[9:01] Right off the bat, no one got called Rocket in college.

[9:04] Also, I like that Rocket wasn't already taken as a handle.

[9:08] Right.

[9:09] Rocket was available.

[9:10] It didn't have to be Rocket 179 or whatever.

[9:12] Just Rocket was available.

[9:13] No one had chosen Rocket.

[9:15] Not a lot of Rocket enthusiasts on the Internet.

[9:18] I don't know if you realize this, but the Internet isn't filled with people who are interested in rocketry.

[9:23] Sure.

[9:24] Or any of the nerd pursuits.

[9:26] Right, right.

[9:27] Yeah, I don't actually have a computer, so I don't know.

[9:29] Well, then this must have been a fucking learning experience.

[9:32] It was really very interesting.

[9:33] Apparently people use the computer for everything these days.

[9:35] Right.

[9:36] Occasionally.

[9:37] Dating.

[9:38] Murdering.

[9:39] And literally everything.

[9:40] Something murders.

[9:41] Sure.

[9:42] Anything you want.

[9:43] Listening to reviews of popular films.

[9:44] Yes.

[9:45] There's a million possibilities.

[9:46] Okay, I want to introduce a new segment.

[9:51] This podcast.

[9:52] The name of the film is Perfect Stranger, guys.

[9:55] I am going to make a bet that this was not the original title.

[10:00] was on the script

[10:01] so what i would like to speak to do is take a second

[10:04] and come up with what we think was one of was earlier on the list of

[10:09] you know what that actually is a really

[10:11] good segment like that

[10:13] kind of put me on the spot and i think that it's not what he said i think you

[10:17] know yes a little bit

[10:19] uh... i i want to see the internet murderer

[10:22] but that seems kind of obvious i think that i think it's probably battles

[10:26] well what it would have been

[10:28] i am a colon

[10:30] internet murderer

[10:31] sure holy shit that's

[10:33] you know what

[10:34] i'm gonna give you a high five right now that was looking really good dude

[10:38] i'm sorry that i'm away from the microphone as i'm keeping my cat away

[10:42] from the podcast wires

[10:44] uh... those cats are dicks

[10:46] i don't know i think

[10:47] probably was called the net starring sandra bullock

[10:52] that's it

[10:54] it's a it's a uh... really weird

[10:56] the the title that starts at a bullet to right here

[11:00] was a dream cast

[11:02] will come in right and also commonly speaking they won't feature the

[11:06] actor and his name in the title of the movie because it's kind of breaks the

[11:09] fourth wall the john malkovich

[11:12] made for the facilities and

[11:14] one of the uh... warts

[11:16] right like for instance you would have the title of the movie the no

[11:19] liking

[11:20] music by old john

[11:22] because it's because it's a lot of experience

[11:25] it

[11:27] it's a little bit of a four perfect straight away to me like that your brain

[11:31] went to that

[11:32] it's a lot

[11:34] so what do you have a four perfect stranger i think it was

[11:38] danger

[11:40] dot dot dot

[11:41] computer

[11:43] okay

[11:44] so as well as to at least

[11:45] hud

[11:56] t's

[11:57] it was those halle berry

[12:00] she did it again but the name of the believed doctor

[12:03] right

[12:07] buried out comes your enrollment

[12:09] with

[12:10] or was that

[12:13] well i i i just like that there was a brief

[12:16] for putting dot com at the end of uh... movie titles minister dot com

[12:21] and uh... and other exactly

[12:23] i think it's a good idea

[12:25] and then the other ones i mean it was a little bit about the budget for a

[12:29] total of jay told us that you know that was another thing that you know that in

[12:32] the same time

[12:33] unanimous in this case is that you can't get and it is now about

[12:36] comes down with a

[12:38] that was that he first and there is the vote

[12:40] uh... in front of things and now probably put in the world

[12:44] standard internet june that is true

[12:47] i think this uh... it's called a cgp

[12:50] yeah i don't think what you got to take this one day uh...

[12:53] uh... sports let you know it was

[12:55] that we don't have a good look at the as i love you

[12:58] backslash halle berry

[13:00] backslash there's a good as murder

[13:02] dot com

[13:03] that's not html

[13:05] so i mean you know i was paying attention to our podcasts and in the

[13:09] past you

[13:10] uh... complained about your dislike of twist and that's true now uh... i wasn't

[13:15] like a report about this is that you got that from the people i guess i wasn't

[13:19] paying that close attention to uh... movie perfect stranger okay but

[13:24] was there but we made the wise decision

[13:26] and yes to you

[13:27] there was a twist and no kidding no fuckin fake bro there was a way to raise

[13:33] uh... i don't you know what i don't know

[13:35] i don't want to make a broken record sure okay but there was a fucking twist

[13:39] any and guess what

[13:40] was fucking retarded

[13:41] it was a retarded twisted it was exactly why he twisted

[13:45] because you have what is

[13:46] you know what okay there's a thriller of all of us and not the greatest thing

[13:50] you've ever done

[13:51] and i think it away like it almost feels like a writer's life

[13:55] you know what i really got to push this book a rep a little bit

[13:58] i know how about a twist

[14:00] like that your script has stopped

[14:02] and twist was equally sucky

[14:04] no one will the fucking ever guess which was about

[14:07] unless they'll probably i'll probably see what they've seen was a little bit

[14:10] or i'll say it because i get all twists i don't fucking pistol

[14:13] i mean this response

[14:14] children are surprised and that you won't listen

[14:17] that's true if i recall you defended twist endings

[14:21] reciprocity i think that that

[14:23] probably overstatement wasn't really feelings that was uh... listeners i

[14:28] channel to go back and and look at what you're saying i think you're going to

[14:31] be in love with them

[14:32] so the military

[14:34] yes check it out

[14:35] the thing about this is you should be licensed

[14:39] but i don't want to go to a test you have to take a test

[14:43] to see if you can do it because if you can pull a twist ending off who would

[14:46] administer the test fucking amazing

[14:48] yeah i don't know i don't know who did i i think i held up christopher nolan as

[14:52] a good twist so christopher nolan would administer a twist ending test

[14:57] christopher nolan by the way has made two

[14:59] major motion pictures

[15:00] no he's made a couple of them

[15:04] uh... bad man begins

[15:05] yeah insomnia

[15:07] you did insomnia? holy shit

[15:10] okay guys so the point is like i think that when they're done

[15:14] well

[15:15] they're like a magic trick like christopher nolan

[15:17] it's a magical experience no i'm not going to just hold up christopher nolan

[15:21] if i was born back when uh... the village

[15:25] you're a fucking dickhead

[15:27] if i was of age

[15:29] if i was of a movie going age back when planet of the apes came out i probably would have been like

[15:34] holy shit they were on the earth the whole time okay at this point you know

[15:38] clearly i know the best that's honestly that's a fair one i'll give you that one

[15:43] if i remember the original challenge was that you named five good twist ending movies

[15:48] you were so far at three my point is and this is over a course of a month done well

[15:52] it's a fantastic magic trick

[15:54] when done poorly

[15:55] it's what you say it's like

[15:56] someone gets to the end of a script and they're like alright holy shit ok fucking fuck

[16:00] this is basically a pedestrian thriller

[16:05] i need something else to jazz this up

[16:08] i'm gonna just

[16:10] pull out a piece of paper

[16:12] that lists all my characters on it i'm gonna throw a dart

[16:15] and whoever the dart hits that's who the killer is going to be unless it's too obvious i'll throw the dart again

[16:22] and uh... i'll just retrofit something i'll retrofit something i don't care if it makes sense

[16:26] and in this case i think you should spoil it son

[16:29] yeah i will fucking spoil it you know what i mean the argument is if we're going to be uh... i mean

[16:34] why wouldn't we spoil it because

[16:36] if we're doing our job even halfway right

[16:39] somebody who hasn't seen the movie is going to be like fuck that movie it sounds retarded

[16:42] if they've already seen the movie they don't give a shit if we spoil the twist so i don't see why we would like

[16:47] hold under our hat or something

[16:49] here's the big twist fucking ending

[16:51] the real killer

[16:53] was the main character

[16:54] holly barry

[16:56] she's the one that killed

[16:57] the girl

[16:58] who died wait a minute simon i don't understand

[17:02] haven't we been viewing the movie from her perspective the whole time yes and yet she was the

[17:06] killer haven't we been sympathizing with her we have but you know what she was the killer

[17:10] that's what makes it so fucking good

[17:12] that does blow my mind

[17:13] because it's so fucking surprising

[17:15] i'm surprised yeah i was surprised too i'm still surprised

[17:19] we just finished the movie a half hour ago and i'm still fucking shocked you actually were a little bit

[17:22] legitimately surprised but i think that was just because you were surprised at the audacity

[17:26] right i was shocked at how incredulous like i was incredulous

[17:30] as the fucking balls of the filmmakers would be like you know what

[17:33] it was holly barry

[17:34] and why did she kill

[17:36] she

[17:37] okay oh god

[17:38] uh... fucking hell

[17:39] i was at a certain point in the movie there was some very poorly

[17:43] cut flashbacks to holly barry's childhood

[17:46] where it seemed like

[17:47] oh i guess holly barry was molested by like

[17:50] her dad

[17:51] or her stepdad

[17:53] or

[17:53] a father figure whatever just some fucking guy i don't know

[17:56] so what we find out at the end

[17:59] is that

[18:00] holly barry's mom

[18:02] killed

[18:03] the dad or father figure

[18:05] because he was a creepy molester monster

[18:08] but her next door neighbor and childhood friend the girl who

[18:11] is killed at the beginning of the movie and the whole investigation is about

[18:14] she witnessed the burying of the body

[18:17] now apparently this girl that got murdered was literally a monster

[18:21] and was blackmailing her childhood friend holly barry about

[18:25] the fucking molesting dad that used to molest her that her mom killed so she's blackmailing her

[18:29] let's not pass this over though because we gotta point out that

[18:35] for this twist to work

[18:37] the girl who's been blackmailing

[18:39] has to have been blackmailing holly barry since like the age of like

[18:42] what ten twelve she witnessed it when she was about ten years old she has to have been like

[18:47] i can turn this me witnessing the burying of this body to my advantage

[18:53] and blackmail holly barry for i don't know like lipstick and candy

[18:59] let's also point out that this girl this horrible crass manipulator

[19:04] also i guess seduced holly barry's boyfriend

[19:07] and they had an affair so there's literally this is a really... holly barry's boyfriend who i didn't

[19:11] realize was her boyfriend until you explained it to me

[19:15] well i'm pretty fucking astute because he was in two scenes in the first hour of the movie

[19:19] literally and i was out of the room getting a drink during the first scene

[19:23] dan let's be clear he was in two scenes

[19:26] in the movie

[19:28] like from the beginning until the movie was over he was in it two times

[19:32] one time

[19:33] holly barry came back after a date with him

[19:35] the date not being shot at all and she just like i guess

[19:38] i can't tell if she was fucking him in the kitchen or just like grinding her

[19:42] pelvis against him i couldn't tell

[19:44] it's pretty much the same thing dude sure that's i don't know how it works exactly

[19:48] uh... later on he was in it again and at this point i'm like you were like

[19:52] dan you were like

[19:53] who was that guy? i'm like no that's your boyfriend that's the one the other girl had an affair with

[19:57] knew it

[19:58] but i fucking did not figure that shit out

[20:00] so anyway

[20:01] he's a guy from csi it's awesome

[20:04] so this fucking girl has been blackmailing her all along, sleeping with her boyfriend, etc. etc.

[20:09] just a real primo bitch

[20:11] so what holly berry does is

[20:14] now not only

[20:16] does she murder her

[20:17] but she murders her

[20:19] and also sets up

[20:21] this guy

[20:22] this guy named bruce willis

[20:25] which by the way makes very little sense when you return back over because

[20:29] we're led to believe that poor holly berry

[20:32] has been victimized in her life

[20:37] she's been molested

[20:38] and blackmailed, she really needed to get out from under the situation

[20:42] and fine that's fine

[20:44] but then she decides to do it by framing

[20:46] some guy, some rich guy

[20:50] just some guy

[20:53] why did she even frame him, it's not like there was that much police investigation

[20:58] no, she really was getting really hot

[21:01] if she wanted to

[21:02] she probably could have

[21:04] bumped off

[21:05] uh... that girl

[21:06] without anyone really noticing that much

[21:09] well that's true, she didn't have to go through an elaborate mastermind

[21:15] fake sting operation, fake investigative reporting

[21:18] with a fucking trial, yeah with a whole trial and everything, it was crazy

[21:21] and in the end uh... Giovanni Ribisi, well Giovanni Ribisi figures it out

[21:26] and what he does is he confronts her with the knowledge

[21:29] he breaks it down for us the viewer

[21:31] right and also for holly berry, he tells holly berry how she did it

[21:37] now the reason why the script writer did that is because

[21:41] he wrote a shitty script

[21:43] so the viewers at home

[21:45] might be unclear about what shitty shit he'd written shit style

[21:49] so he's like hey this is exposition

[21:52] for you to figure out

[21:53] because i didn't make it clear at all

[21:55] so he breaks it down for us the viewer, it's like oh of course and then this and then this blah blah blah blah

[22:01] prior to this it's important to point out that Giovanni Ribisi's character was

[22:05] at first it seemed as though he might have an innocent crush on holly berry's character

[22:10] he maybe thought she was cute, i don't know

[22:12] later on she goes to his apartment when he's not home to, i don't know, drops something off or something

[22:16] and discovers his weird like

[22:18] porno linen closet, his evidence dungeon, we've been talking about the return of the evidence dungeon

[22:24] sure and then this is a slight tangent

[22:26] she goes in the bathroom and there's a weird literally gigantic linen closet

[22:31] probably the biggest closet i've ever seen

[22:33] he lives in i guess a regular new york apartment and as a person

[22:37] which for non new york natives, they're small, unshitty

[22:40] yeah i don't have

[22:41] a closet that's devoted to just my linens and pictures of pornography

[22:46] sure let me ask you dan

[22:47] in your apartment

[22:48] how many actual closets do you have at all

[22:52] there's basically one closet and a room that we treat as a walk-in closet because it's too small to use for anything else

[22:59] now would it be large enough to not only stock

[23:02] i'm going to say from what i remember seeing in that scene

[23:05] twenty to fifty towels

[23:07] no my true closet was... because he owned twenty to fifty towels

[23:11] yeah, he needed a lot of drying

[23:13] yup, he took a lot of showers, he's a fucking wet guy, he's a wet guy

[23:17] to towel off after a long day of masturbation

[23:21] and in his evidence dungeon he also had pictures of halle berry arranged in a weird

[23:26] sort of christ-like

[23:28] like a halo around her head

[23:31] he had gotten his hand on some kind of a mannequin

[23:33] and had glued or pasted, i don't know

[23:36] a shitload of pictures of halle berry to the mannequin

[23:40] now, that's crazy, right?

[23:42] like that shit is the kind of shit that anyone puts in a movie because they're trying to create a great big neon sign

[23:48] this person's crazy, like it isn't real, it's so fucking fabricated just for movies

[23:53] like the guy who made a weird shrine to the girl

[23:56] like it only happens in movies

[23:58] the next time i'm interested in a girl i think i'm going to do that shit

[24:01] because who gives a rep, you know?

[24:04] right, no one has to know

[24:06] you've got a spare closet, fuck it, put it in there

[24:08] fuck it dude, give me a chance to work on my scrapbooking

[24:11] sure

[24:12] by the end of the movie though, we are asked to forget how creepy Giovanni Rubisi is

[24:17] and sort of accept him as, i guess, the de facto hero of the film

[24:22] the guy who figures it out

[24:24] now, Giovanni Rubisi, we find out that his crush was in fact not a crush

[24:28] it wasn't just that he had tender feelings for Halle Berry

[24:31] he was meant, apparently, to be a creep

[24:34] like a fucked up creep

[24:36] he's a goddamn creep

[24:37] so now he cracks the mystery

[24:39] he figures out like, blah blah blah, Halle Berry, you're the one that did it

[24:43] and here's why i know, blah blah blah

[24:45] now, the best part is there's a montage, like a series of vignettes

[24:50] always a good idea

[24:51] right, always, literally always a great idea filmmaking wise

[24:54] where he's like, talking to her in the hallway, talking to her in the kitchen

[24:58] the entire exposition takes place over, what do you want to say, like 7 minutes?

[25:01] maybe

[25:02] ok, let's say 7 minutes just for the sake of argument

[25:04] there's a scene of them sitting on the floor in the hallway

[25:07] Indian style, facing one another

[25:09] there's a scene of them sitting on the couch with her head in his lap

[25:13] as he's explaining how she's a murderer

[25:15] the scene ends with them in the kitchen

[25:18] and I guess making breakfast together?

[25:20] yeah

[25:21] at which point he turns around

[25:23] they're making breakfast together

[25:24] all night

[25:25] they're making omelettes

[25:26] he turns around and says like, blah blah blah, so you did all these murders

[25:30] but here's the question, what are you going to do for me to make sure I don't tell?

[25:35] at which point you're like, oh, so he is a creep and a sexual predator and a monster

[25:39] and she stabs him

[25:42] I could answer that question for him, dude

[25:44] because if you find out somebody's a murderer

[25:46] the last thing you want to do is be like

[25:48] I could tell somebody what will you do to keep my daughter

[25:51] you know what, they probably won't murder you

[25:53] because clearly they don't have it in them

[25:55] if I know that, what I do is I show up at someone's house

[25:59] I explain how they did it

[26:01] and then I make it clear that I've not told anyone else

[26:03] right, nobody knows

[26:04] and then I threaten them in some way

[26:06] be it sexually or just in the ass

[26:10] sexually is usually the best way

[26:12] it's the most rewarding

[26:13] I mean, sexually speaking

[26:15] if you want to get stabbed

[26:16] I point out how clever they are in disguising the last murder they performed

[26:20] reminding them of their prowess at murdering

[26:23] and how they murder people

[26:26] and how no one could ever catch them

[26:28] reminding them that I live in a weird little basement that nobody knows about

[26:32] and let's take a moment to acknowledge the haunting last shot of the film

[26:36] someone from across the way

[26:39] looking out of their window

[26:41] witnesses Halle Berry stabbing Giovanni Ribisi

[26:44] but not only that, but that shot very much mirrors

[26:47] Halle Berry's childhood friend

[26:49] in the first place, seeing the burying of her father

[26:51] it's haunting

[26:52] the cycle of violence and blackmail continues

[26:56] and murdering

[26:57] perhaps Halle Berry will frame Bruce Willis for that guy's murder

[27:01] the murder of her neighbor

[27:02] nobody knows

[27:03] we'll have to stay tuned for Perfect Stranger Part 2

[27:06] alright, well, the time allotted for this segment

[27:10] has run out

[27:12] I'm becoming a taskmaster

[27:14] trying to keep things down

[27:15] can we talk about one more thing?

[27:17] we can talk about one more thing

[27:18] I just want to touch on the point

[27:20] that throughout this entire movie

[27:21] Bruce Willis' character is a successful businessman

[27:24] he's also what's presented as being quite the ladies man

[27:28] he's seduced many, many women

[27:30] his game

[27:31] let's call it his game

[27:33] for lack of a better term

[27:34] he's trying to seduce Halle Berry

[27:36] his game involves him going to a bar together

[27:39] and him discussing the finer points of a daiquiri

[27:42] now, ladies out there

[27:44] you can be sure that I took a lot of notes on this

[27:46] and you will have your ass away the fuck more

[27:48] seduced in the future by me

[27:50] when I employ that word for word

[27:53] that's a little too much sarcasm, dude

[27:55] no, I'm being sincere

[27:57] you can't tell when I'm being sarcastic

[27:59] and when I'm being sincere

[28:01] women really like people to explain

[28:04] sort of pedantically

[28:05] what makes a really good daiquiri

[28:08] which is the manliest of all the alcoholic beverages

[28:12] the daiquiri

[28:13] but I think that we need to

[28:15] a Hemingway daiquiri

[28:16] a Hemingway daiquiri

[28:17] and we all know also how much women love

[28:19] Ernest Hemingway

[28:21] chicks love Ernest Hemingway

[28:23] that is true

[28:25] oh my god

[28:26] so let's wrap this up

[28:28] let's wrap this up

[28:29] let's render our final judgments

[28:31] and as always

[28:32] the official flophouse categories are

[28:34] no, it's a movie that you wouldn't recommend at all

[28:36] it's a movie that you would recommend

[28:37] because it's retarded

[28:38] or a movie that you would recommend

[28:39] because you actually kind of liked it

[28:40] yeah, I just rattled that off in ten seconds

[28:42] you rattled it off

[28:43] big surprise

[28:44] Stewie, what are you feeling?

[28:45] this movie sucked and I don't want to watch it again

[28:47] and I don't think anyone else should have to watch it

[28:48] because it's totally sick

[28:49] Dan, now, step up to the plate

[28:51] I would recommend this to watch for its hilarity

[28:54] because I think

[28:55] really?

[28:56] I think that the shit was bananas

[28:58] wow

[28:59] the shit was not fucking bananas at all

[29:02] the shit was my shit

[29:04] this movie was

[29:07] we're going to get fucking

[29:10] Gwen Stefani, she's going to be suing us

[29:11] Gwen Stefani listens to this podcast

[29:13] Gwen Stefani, I'm sorry

[29:15] it was an homage

[29:17] no, I thought it was hilarious

[29:18] I really thought it was hilarious

[29:19] really?

[29:20] okay, well I'm not going to recommend it at all

[29:22] because that movie pissed me off

[29:23] alright

[29:24] honestly, and that's based mainly on

[29:26] obviously the fact that it's a twist ending

[29:27] and we all know how I feel about that

[29:29] but also because I spent the first 15 minutes of this movie

[29:31] having no fucking clue what was happening

[29:34] because all the characters were just

[29:35] fucking rattling off shotgun style

[29:37] the name of characters that weren't in the movie

[29:40] I'm like, don't you remember what Christopher said to Thomas?

[29:43] like, I don't know who these fucking people are

[29:45] I don't know what's happening

[29:46] I'm just mad at this movie right now

[29:47] sure

[29:48] so I say fucking no

[29:49] don't watch it because it's for dickweeds

[29:51] yeah

[29:52] alright, well fair enough

[29:53] let's move on

[29:54] before we do some recommendations

[29:56] okay

[29:57] you got some shit in your hand

[29:58] I have some papers in my hand

[30:00] stuart was already looking at them i think i'm gonna move on to this section

[30:03] which is a list of feedback okay call this is all i'm talking right side about

[30:07] our first actual uh... list of feedback some emails came and i would love to

[30:12] hear this

[30:12] the first one's a bit of a cheat it's from my old friend rusty who uh... i

[30:16] know that i don't know i don't know rusty

[30:18] and i don't want to lose it

[30:19] let's get over the first part of the uh... is a personal

[30:22] so i don't like you know i'm sure

[30:25] but he does want to say

[30:27] uh... taking extra liberties to introduce my own pics into the show

[30:30] my favorite overlooked horror halloween film

[30:33] might very well be pin

[30:35] canadian title pin a plastic nightmare

[30:38] starring terry o'quinn of lost fame

[30:40] keep up the good work and i have to i uh...

[30:43] i'm not familiar with that movie

[30:44] i watched pin over last christmas i was over at rusty's place

[30:50] and uh... you know

[30:52] terry quinn as he says john lock of lost

[30:55] also uh...

[30:57] the stepfather

[30:58] the horror movie uh... i'm not familiar with that movie

[31:01] you don't know the stepfather?

[31:03] you know guy goes from

[31:05] family to family uh... killing them when they're not perfect

[31:08] i know the granny that's kinda like that

[31:11] well i like it

[31:12] pin is about terry o'quinn's character is this doctor

[31:17] uh... who has this life-sized sort of

[31:20] you know uh... medical mannequin

[31:23] named pin

[31:24] p-i-n

[31:25] and he does like little ventriloquist things for his kids like hey i'm pin

[31:30] hello

[31:32] there

[31:33] but better than that

[31:35] and uh... his son

[31:37] sort of becomes obsessed with this mannequin pin and uh... thinks of him as a

[31:41] friend and then after terry quinn dies

[31:44] he sort of takes on the pin persona and uh... kills people

[31:48] as some people do

[31:49] it's uh... it's a pretty creepy and very canadian film

[31:53] i agree with that overlooked

[31:56] uh... maybe i'll watch it

[31:57] so rusty has given me a good thing to look at thank you rusty

[32:00] you are a gentleman and a scholar

[32:03] okay and we've got another message

[32:06] who's this one from

[32:07] this one's from someone called

[32:08] sonny

[32:09] sonny

[32:11] s-u-n-n-y

[32:13] and it says howdy i like your podcast but for me every two and a half weeks

[32:17] isn't cutting it

[32:18] i understand that you have lives but i think you guys should do your show every week

[32:22] a run through the park isn't as enjoyable without random laughs that

[32:25] make old people stare at me the same way they do the homeless guy debating the

[32:28] meaning of over easy with themselves

[32:30] so if you have the time and willpower

[32:32] maybe a little more frightening old people and chuckles

[32:36] i think that is a lovely email message i want to take this opportunity to say that

[32:40] sonny

[32:41] whomever you may be

[32:42] you are a lovely person

[32:44] and god bless you for saying those things

[32:45] you're lovely but at the same time i need to point out that you're a little misinformed

[32:49] we don't actually have a lot of stuff

[32:52] now i have a misconception

[32:54] uh... you might imagine we're busy

[32:56] i like the sonny character i'm the one i'm ready to dedicate this

[33:00] podcast to sonny

[33:01] sure let's let's do it but uh... this podcast is dedicated to you sonny

[33:05] i just want to say though that um...

[33:07] i'm the guy who edits the podcast that's true

[33:10] uh... yeah you know what that's that's actually really fair

[33:13] all the actual work that goes into this literally all of the actual work

[33:18] is performed by one daniel mccoy

[33:20] and uh... stu i think we own this

[33:24] and i think you the viewers at home own that as well

[33:27] although this thing's held together with glue and popsicle sticks dan makes it happen

[33:32] well i don't know why it's actually thanks to

[33:34] glue and popsicle sticks but the point is

[33:36] you make it happen uh... i appreciate it i appreciate it

[33:39] as special as sonny if not more so

[33:42] no i'm just i am also the only married member of the podcast

[33:47] the irony is delicious

[33:48] so

[33:49] i actually don't have a lot more time to spend during the week which is funny

[33:54] you gotta get a little bit of that in the end

[33:57] sure right you guys have busy brunches tea parties and brunches

[34:00] yeah oh my god the swinging

[34:02] so much swinging no i thought we were talking about tea parties you guys swing

[34:06] i said key parties oh they said tea parties oh holy shit i'm sorry i don't

[34:10] clearly you and i have different images of marriage in the morning tea parties

[34:15] and evening tea parties that's what marriage is

[34:17] tea parties and swinging

[34:20] it sounds fucking hot it sounds really ironic sometimes together

[34:24] those are really swinging tea parties those are the most confusing parties

[34:30] so with all the

[34:32] with all the tea and the extra marital affairs

[34:37] the partner trading i don't have time to edit more

[34:40] which i take advantage of by extending it

[34:43] with tangents and bullshit

[34:45] simon's really disturbed by the idea of all the swinging so he tries to

[34:50] extend the podcast to make me spend more time editing

[34:54] and less time at tea parties it just seems like you guys don't love each other

[34:58] it's a way of showing that you love them more dude

[35:00] really? yeah right about in penthouse

[35:03] you and i are going to need to have a long talk after this podcast

[35:06] in my penthouse? well yeah i mean clearly i have a lot to learn

[35:10] primarily about penthouse

[35:12] yeah i know it's on the floor

[35:16] so yeah so you're married and yet you do all the work and i think that's really remarkable

[35:18] part of it is because you run all the equipment

[35:19] you know i came to you guys with this idea for this podcast

[35:23] and basically it was

[35:25] you know i do performing i do comedy but i thought to myself

[35:28] these jackasses are funnier than most people i know

[35:32] i enjoy talking to them about movies

[35:34] i need to get this out there into the world i need to record this

[35:37] and what we've discovered is that some people agree with you

[35:40] some people agree with you that we are all funny

[35:42] some people

[35:42] sonny is one of them some people name sonny who enjoys his jog

[35:46] other people mainly the people who don't listen to us

[35:48] are dickweeds

[35:49] and they don't believe we're funny and you know what

[35:51] those people are pricks and will probably go to hell when they die

[35:54] yeah i would like to exhort every listener to vote for us at podcast alley

[35:59] i have a different demand of our viewers not only that they vote for us

[36:03] i mean obviously that goes without saying

[36:04] but they expose this podcast

[36:07] they're friends

[36:08] you want them to evangelize

[36:09] yeah absolutely i want them to proselytize

[36:12] sure

[36:12] i learned that word today

[36:13] perhaps on the subway

[36:14] yes

[36:15] like the homeless person in sonny's message

[36:18] so moving on from that though

[36:21] we should do our recommendations

[36:23] yes we should

[36:24] things that we actually enjoy

[36:26] so i'm going to start with stewart

[36:28] oh shit

[36:29] earlier today i caught a screening of the movie no country for old men

[36:35] and uh... surprise surprise that shit was awesome

[36:39] uh... yeah really fucking good i don't even know where to start so uh... just go see it

[36:44] dan

[36:45] because i gotta think

[36:46] normally it's good to use this time to talk about overlooked stuff

[36:51] because what's the point in recommending something that's

[36:53] everyone's already seen

[36:54] why are you making me feel like an asshole

[36:56] well you haven't already seen it

[36:57] i mean like

[36:57] also many people won't have already seen it

[36:59] i think what you're saying is you want to go with the unobvious choice

[37:02] yes however

[37:04] what's a great movie?

[37:05] godfather

[37:05] however i've not seen a lot recently i did see eastern promises which i loved

[37:10] which is good

[37:11] but i think that that already got a lot of credit

[37:14] sure

[37:14] so it would have been covered

[37:16] it did win at the toronto film festival so i think that's pretty good

[37:20] the toronto film festival

[37:21] i think that probably outranks the flawed house award

[37:26] a couple months back actually while we were doing the halloween podcast so i couldn't

[37:30] actually talk about it because it's not a horror movie i saw

[37:32] jsa joint security area

[37:34] i have no idea what that is

[37:35] it's by chan wook park or chan park wook

[37:39] depending on where you read his name

[37:42] of old boy and sympathy for mr. vengeance fame

[37:46] i believe it would be

[37:47] park would be probably his family

[37:49] yeah so how would you say

[37:50] uh... park chan wook

[37:51] all right so park chan wook

[37:53] great korean director

[37:55] this was his like breakthrough movie

[37:57] and it's about a murder that occurs on the joint security area between north and

[38:01] south korea and it was like a super high grossing movie in korea when it came out

[38:04] i remember hearing about that

[38:06] it's very good it's it's it's

[38:08] it has a lot of the stylishness of like say old boy but

[38:12] it's

[38:12] i think a little

[38:14] i mean i didn't enjoy it as much but i think it's a little deeper because it sort of deals

[38:17] with real world

[38:19] concerns a little bit more

[38:21] kind of like d wars

[38:23] that's another great movie like the danger of dragons

[38:25] the danger of dragons are the worst that they provide

[38:29] if you're robert forrester you gotta watch out for dragons

[38:34] they're really terrible

[38:35] what would you like to recommend?

[38:38] i haven't uh... i haven't seen

[38:40] uh... i almost watched the secret of nin the other day but ran out of time so i didn't get to watch it

[38:46] i remember

[38:47] thinking that was a really great movie

[38:49] i saw american president

[38:51] the other day on tv

[38:52] i kind of like that movie sort of good i guess

[38:55] and it's erin sorkin it pops they crackly dial and if you want to see

[38:59] american president it will be on tbs right now literally you can turn off your

[39:04] podcast and flip on tbs and you can catch it

[39:06] you might be halfway through

[39:08] whatever it's awesome

[39:09] you're halfway through

[39:11] it's going to replay right afterwards they're going to play back to back american presidents

[39:15] so it doesn't matter it'll be like old time movie going you can come in

[39:19] whenever it happens it's happening later

[39:22] it's just nice because if you ever watch the west wing

[39:24] you can see it's like uh... it's like a what if like an old marvel issue of what if

[39:28] what if president jebediah whatever the fuck his name is

[39:31] was the vice president and not the president

[39:34] that is some crazy shit also what if roblox wasn't on the president's staff

[39:39] that's the what if world there

[39:41] wait was the watcher?

[39:42] yes the watcher did introduce every issue of what if that is pretty awesome man

[39:46] yeah no fucking what if was awesome what about the beyonder

[39:49] the beyonder was involved in the secret wars he had nothing to do with what if

[39:56] oh my god

[39:58] we are dredging deep into the

[40:00] I think Dan, it's probably fair to say that we're closing in on the end here.

[40:06] We are closing in.

[40:07] I should make a brief announcement.

[40:08] Yeah, you should make a statement.

[40:09] I should make a brief announcement.

[40:11] I have business, personal business, elsewhere, and I'm going to be gone from New York City

[40:17] for an indeterminate amount of time, and what that means is that-

[40:20] Good riddance, Dan.

[40:21] Right.

[40:22] Yeah.

[40:23] I really dragged the thing down.

[40:24] I am not going to be involved in the flop house for some amount of time.

[40:28] I will, however, be producing an independent podcast called The Flop House, and it will

[40:33] just be me.

[40:34] I will not be watching a movie.

[40:36] It's pretty much just going to be me being like, I miss Dan and Stu.

[40:39] Oh, well, that's sweet.

[40:40] Dan and Stu, you should call me sometime, except it's going to be like an hour, and

[40:44] it's going to be every other day.

[40:45] Are you going to release this out into the world, or you're not just going to send this

[40:49] to us?

[40:50] No, I'm going to be recording it on a boom box I have, and I'm going to be mailing you

[40:55] guys the cassette tapes, so fucking look forward to that shit.

[40:59] Maybe you guys will enjoy it, too, if these two pricks decide to play it on the podcast.

[41:03] I know a guy who once recorded himself taking poops on a cassette tape, and then mailed

[41:10] the cassette tape to a friend of his.

[41:11] Well, I remember being a kid and recording myself rapping Ice Ice Baby.

[41:17] I didn't send it to anyone, but I recorded it.

[41:19] You should have.

[41:20] Too late to record cover.

[41:21] Well, when you're back home-

[41:22] You need my demo tape.

[41:23] Well, when you're back home on your sabbatical, maybe you can find that tape, and you can

[41:28] send it to us, and we'll put it on the flop house.

[41:30] Sure, I'll fucking probably do that, because you know what?

[41:33] It's really fucking endearing.

[41:34] I just want to make it clear to our loyal 200 listeners that we're hoping that this

[41:42] is just a temporary situation.

[41:44] However, that said, they've replaced me already.

[41:47] Well, we've entered into talks.

[41:49] Sure.

[41:50] The body's not cold.

[41:51] We think the audience will be pleased with the succession of special guests we will have

[41:55] in your absence.

[41:56] However, we will be keeping your chair warm for you.

[42:00] I don't know.

[42:01] That actually doesn't sound that pleasant.

[42:02] No, it really doesn't.

[42:03] Yeah, it's kind of weird.

[42:04] I don't know how you'll be keeping it warm.

[42:07] With like a space heater?

[42:08] We'll keep- Well, with a succession of special guests.

[42:12] Right.

[42:13] Other people's asses will be keeping my chair warm, so that when I fucking come back, I'm

[42:18] like, holy shit, it's still warm.

[42:20] Weird.

[42:22] I never left.

[42:23] No, the podcast will continue, and hopefully Simon will return, and if he does, the chair

[42:29] will be open for him.

[42:30] And warm.

[42:31] We will kick whoever's ass.

[42:33] Whatever prick ends up you calling to take over?

[42:36] Right out.

[42:37] Sure.

[42:38] So- But it's a sad-

[42:39] Right, right.

[42:40] So for however long it ends up being, all 200 of you bastards, you're incredible people.

[42:45] And I'm a little bit in love with all of you.

[42:48] Not like a lot.

[42:49] Not so much like with G-Lon and Ribisi that I have a shrine, but tender feelings.

[42:54] It's always those things like at a party, like I see you across the room, and I always

[42:56] wonder like, is tonight the night I should tell them how I feel about them?

[43:00] Like in Labyrinth?

[43:01] But I don't.

[43:02] That doesn't happen in Labyrinth.

[43:03] You're thinking of a different movie.

[43:04] No, I'm talking about that like- No, in Labyrinth, there's an erotic masquerade

[43:08] ball.

[43:09] Okay, that's the same thing, dude.

[43:10] No, no, what I'm talking about is Can't Hardly Wait, okay?

[43:13] I'm the guy from Can't Hardly Wait, and the whole night, the podcast viewers are like

[43:18] running around, it's the last night of high school, and I'm like, but I wrote you this

[43:22] letter!

[43:23] But we keep not being able to come together.

[43:24] I don't know if I've ever seen that movie.

[43:26] Really?

[43:27] You've never seen fucking Can't Hardly Wait?

[43:28] Well, you're- You dickheads!

[43:29] If you turn on TV- You know what?

[43:30] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[43:31] no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[43:32] no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[43:54] Ghost Whisperer.

[43:56] She was a kid all the way.

[43:58] Now that we've come full circle, much like Perfect Stranger the film did.

[44:04] And you know what? Bullshit.

[44:06] Balki wasn't in it at all. Cousin Larry wasn't in it.

[44:08] The chick was the mom in Family Matters.

[44:10] Cousin Larry.

[44:12] Cousin Larry!

[44:14] Hey, is that shit on YouTube?

[44:16] Let's watch that after the podcast.

[44:18] But right now, let's wrap things up.

[44:20] Because sad as it is, we have to say goodbye.

[44:22] It's true.

[44:24] And I just want to exhort everyone, like I said,

[44:26] to go to the website,

[44:28] click on Podcast Alley,

[44:30] vote for us,

[44:32] write a review for us in iTunes.

[44:34] I added a button,

[44:36] you can dig us now.

[44:38] Go to

[44:40] theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com

[44:42] Don't go to

[44:44] theflophouse.blogspot.com

[44:46] because I discovered that that's a semi-pornographic website.

[44:48] Hey, no, check that out first.

[44:50] Have a good masturbation session.

[44:52] Check out both.

[44:54] Hey, maybe those dicks will send us some free shit.

[44:56] Sure.

[44:58] Because we just fucking promoted it.

[45:00] I would like some porno, please.

[45:02] So if you work for theflophouse.blogspot.com

[45:04] send us some porn.

[45:06] Please send us free porno.

[45:08] Various sex toys, maybe.

[45:10] Dildos.

[45:12] You know, I may be the only one who's married,

[45:14] but the others, you know,

[45:16] I like a dildo.

[45:18] Sure.

[45:20] I enjoy a nice dildo.

[45:22] My last dildo got busted.

[45:24] But if you want podcast

[45:26] information,

[45:28] go to theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com

[45:30] or send us

[45:32] an email at

[45:34] theflophousepodcast.gmail.com

[45:36] Anyway,

[45:38] to sum up,

[45:40] I'm Dan McCoy.

[45:42] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[45:44] We're saying goodbye, and I love you.

[45:48] Goodnight.

[45:50] That was a good episode.

[45:52] It was pretty good.

[45:54] We had some laughs, that's what's important.

[46:02] I just wanted to say,

[46:04] you know, like I am,

[46:06] to be fair,

[46:08] I love you as well.

[46:10] Simon's in charge of delaying

[46:12] the podcast.

[46:14] It's my official job.

[46:16] Yeah, yeah.

[46:18] And I'm in charge of editing that back down.

The Flop House: Episode Six - Perfect Stranger

Transcript

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