The Flop House: Episode Seven - Mr. Brooks

[0:00] In this episode of the Flophouse, we discuss Mr. Brooks, the horrifying true-life tale of comedian Albert Brooks' serial killing adventures.

[0:09] What do you mean I can't say that? Slander!

[0:30] And now for a partial synopsis of Mr. Brooks, courtesy of Wikipedia.

[0:42] Earl Brooks, Kevin Costner, is an upstanding business owner and family man.

[0:46] But in his secret life, Earl is a serial killer, hounded by his gleefully sadistic alter ego, Marshall, William Hurt.

[0:53] While he has refrained from killing for the last two years, Brooks feels the urge rising once again and murders a couple in their home.

[0:59] Despite killing them while their curtains are open, Earl follows his meticulous modus operandi, destroying all clothing and cleaning up the crime scene.

[1:07] The next day, Earl attends his weekly meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, where he vaguely reveals his addiction without elaborating on its nature.

[1:14] Soon afterwards, Earl's daughter Jane returns home, having abruptly dropped out of Stanford.

[1:20] When pressed on her motives, Jane reveals that she's pregnant, but Earl fears his daughter's hiding a much worse secret.

[1:26] Even more worrisome is the appearance of Mr. Smith, Dane Cook, a peeping tom who photographed Earl murdering the couple.

[1:32] Fully aware of Earl's thumbprint killer alter ego, Smith demands to accompany Earl on his next murder.

[1:38] As they troll for a victim, he becomes frustrated with Earl's meticulous preparations and over the involvement of Portland detective Tracy Atwood,

[1:46] Demi Moore, chief investigator of the thumbprint killer case, who hounds Smith, suspecting he's hiding something.

[1:53] Tracy is distracted by personal problems, including a messy divorce from her sleazy ex-husband and a violent serial killer that she put away,

[2:00] who has escaped to kill her because of it.

[2:02] One day, Earl finds detectives outside his house, only to realize they're interested in speaking with his daughter,

[2:08] who left school following the murder of a student with a hatchet.

[2:11] Jane pleads innocence, but Earl realizes that his daughter may be afflicted with the same addiction that he has.

[2:16] To deflect suspicion, he travels to her college campus and replicates the hatchet murder,

[2:21] making it appear that the murders are the work of a serial killer.

[2:24] At the same time, Earl and Marshall form a plan to address Mr. Smith's blackmail scheme.

[2:29] Earl re-evaluates his own life and decides that the best course of action for his family and friends is that he be murdered,

[2:35] a decision that infuriates Marshall.

[2:38] The plan involves taking Mr. Smith out on a promised thrill killing, which would give Smith the confidence to kill Earl and tie up loose ends.

[2:45] Is Mr. Brooks successful in his final plot?

[2:48] Let's join the others in The Flophouse.

[2:50] Hello, everyone, and welcome again to The Flophouse.

[2:54] Yeah.

[2:55] I'm Dan McCoy.

[2:56] I'm Stuart Willington.

[2:58] I'm Jeanette Lair.

[2:59] That's right. We've got one of our rotating guest hosts.

[3:04] This is like when Roger Ebert got the jaw cancer and he had to have other people fill in for him.

[3:10] Boy, I thought I was a permanent member.

[3:12] Stuart, you told me I was going to get paid.

[3:16] Yeah, I'm a really good liar.

[3:18] A lot like Mr. Brooks.

[3:19] Also, Simon doesn't have jaw cancer. I want to make that clear, too.

[3:23] So, we did watch Mr. Brooks tonight.

[3:26] Yeah, Mr. Brooks.

[3:28] Kevin Costner.

[3:30] Breakthrough performance.

[3:31] What a hottie.

[3:32] What a hottie, sure.

[3:33] Well, I have to say, this might be one of the better non-baseball related Kevin Costner performances.

[3:40] He did not bother me at any point.

[3:43] What about Tin Cup?

[3:46] Yeah, well, that's also a sports movie, so.

[3:50] Of the non-sports movies, of the movies where Kevin Costner plays a serial killer.

[3:54] What about Dancing with Wolves?

[3:57] Dancing Wolves?

[3:58] I don't think that's the name of the movie, actually.

[4:00] Dancing with the Wolves.

[4:02] It's something like that, though. I think you're pretty close, so we'll just give it to you.

[4:06] Yeah, so Mr. Brooks.

[4:09] Dan, initial thoughts.

[4:10] Going into Mr. Brooks, you've seen the trailers.

[4:14] You see a lot of Demi Moore and Kevin Costner in these trailers.

[4:18] Looks like a thriller.

[4:20] We just watched Perfect Stranger last week, so you're probably in the mood for a thriller.

[4:27] Initial perceptions going into Mr. Brooks. What are your thoughts?

[4:30] Well, again, like Perfect Stranger, it seems like a movie that is past its sell-by date with Demi Moore and Kevin Costner in it.

[4:38] America's Sweethearts.

[4:39] Yeah, yeah. They are literally at the peak of their power.

[4:43] I don't know. What I like about this movie, when I first saw the trailer, I'm just like, oh, this is a shitty thriller.

[4:50] But then, when we saw the movie, it was so much more.

[4:54] Because there was so much crazy stuff going on in it.

[4:56] Crazy stuff, you say?

[4:58] How many plots were there in this film?

[5:00] There was a lot of plots.

[5:01] Let's count them.

[5:02] There's the plot where Mr. Brooks, played by Kevin Costner, doesn't want to kill anymore.

[5:08] And his imaginary friend, William Hurt, is urging him to kill, but he's trying not to kill.

[5:13] Okay, so he's struggling with that.

[5:14] Alright, and then there's Dane Cook, sees him kill someone, and wants to be a killer, wants to be sort of an apprentice killer.

[5:22] And so he wants Mr. Brooks to school him in the way of murder.

[5:27] So there's that.

[5:28] Demi Moore is trying to track down Mr. Brooks, the fingerprint killer, as they call him.

[5:34] But also, she's simultaneously trying to track down another killer who escaped and wants to kill her.

[5:42] And meanwhile, she's going through a divorce.

[5:45] That's a separate plot.

[5:47] It's a whole separate plot.

[5:48] And also, it turns out that his daughter, Mr. Brooks' daughter, is a killer.

[5:54] So that's a whole other plot.

[5:56] Five or something.

[5:57] I think if you actually look at all the actual characters in this movie, I think that roughly half of them are killers or killers-to-be.

[6:05] Right.

[6:06] I think that's kind of weird.

[6:07] Well, it's an accurate portrait of life.

[6:09] Sure.

[6:10] Now, Dan, I am Bruce Evans, the writer, director of this film.

[6:17] And I've written this script. I've written this great script called Mr. Brooks.

[6:23] I go into a pitch meeting, and you and Jeanette are going to be the studio execs.

[6:28] And I come in, and you're like, what would you say?

[6:31] Imagine you're these executives.

[6:33] What do you say to me?

[6:34] I come in with this script.

[6:35] I hope you got something good, sir.

[6:37] I have no time.

[6:40] I'm a very important person.

[6:42] I'll sum this excellent script up, Mr. Brooks, in a few short words.

[6:46] Seventeen words.

[6:48] I can't do that.

[6:49] Or less.

[6:50] Imagine this. A serial killer who doesn't like to be a serial killer.

[6:54] And he loves his daughter, but she's a serial killer.

[6:58] And Demi Moore's in it as well.

[7:00] So wait, how many serial killers is that?

[7:02] Two. Potentially three.

[7:04] Hmm.

[7:05] Hmm. Are there any kind of, I don't know, weird mental things going on with this guy?

[7:10] There's at least one imaginary friend who approves of serial killing.

[7:16] Okay, good, because we can't understand mental illness unless it's illustrated for us by an imaginary character.

[7:24] Yes. Two words. A beautiful mind meets a serial killer.

[7:29] I have a question for you.

[7:30] There's a few more than two words. Okay, answer.

[7:32] Okay. So his imaginary friend, this is a very key factor.

[7:37] When he looks through the rearview mirror, can he see him in the backseat?

[7:41] Can other characters see the imaginary?

[7:44] Can Kevin Costner see him?

[7:45] I could write that into the script, yes. There's room for this.

[7:48] Right, because logically there would be no reason why we'd have to adjust the mirror to see his imaginary friend.

[7:53] But I think that for the viewer, the viewer at home, or I guess in the theater, since this is a first run movie production, that would be an important thing.

[8:01] I actually have a mock-up of the poster that features him looking through the rearview mirror at William Hurt.

[8:07] Alright.

[8:08] Now, I was going to suggest...

[8:09] Wait, we're doing William Hurt?

[8:10] Wait, so you've already got a poster.

[8:12] I was going to suggest William Hurt in the role.

[8:14] He actually co-wrote the script with me.

[8:16] Are we talking lovable, accidental tourist William Hurt?

[8:20] Or sort of stern, fatherly, lost in space William Hurt?

[8:23] What sort of William Hurt are we going to get?

[8:25] Stern, fatherly, dude William Hurt.

[8:27] Hmm. Okay.

[8:29] Stern, brotherly, history of violence?

[8:33] Okay. Alright.

[8:35] William Hurt is literally crazy. I mean, in real life.

[8:39] I think he's actually imaginary.

[8:42] Well, I say make the movie. Let's make it.

[8:44] That's a go picture.

[8:45] Let's go. Okay. So, can I have some money and I have Kevin Costner on the line.

[8:51] That's right.

[8:52] You were thinking Costner.

[8:53] You were thinking Costner.

[8:54] Tatanka Kevin Costner?

[8:56] Absolutely. Wait, was that from Dancing with Wolves?

[9:00] We had some good laughs.

[9:03] Now, going into this movie, I thought there was going to be a lot more Demi Moore.

[9:10] Yeah.

[9:11] Like, maybe the trailers or the posters sold it differently.

[9:14] You thought it would be like a game of cat and mouse between Demi Moore and Mr. Brooks.

[9:20] Yeah, I thought she'd be playing the role of like a Sandra Bullock or an Ashley Judd almost.

[9:25] You know, like an Ashley Judd movie?

[9:27] Yeah.

[9:28] Like the one that became a spider?

[9:29] Like an Ashley Judd slash Morgan Freeman vehicle?

[9:32] Yeah, like a paperback thriller.

[9:34] Yeah. Well, let's talk a little bit about Demi Moore.

[9:38] Demi Moore, a tough-as-nails policewoman.

[9:42] Also, a millionaire.

[9:44] She has 60 million dollars for some reason.

[9:47] Did we ever find out why she had 60 million dollars?

[9:50] She inherited it from her dad, I guess?

[9:52] Wait, no, she didn't inherit it because her dad was still alive.

[9:54] So, I guess it was in like a trust.

[9:56] Okay. A 60 million dollar trust.

[9:58] Yeah.

[9:59] But she was still a cop.

[10:00] And that's why Mr. Brooks liked her.

[10:02] He kind of liked her even though she was chasing him.

[10:04] Because she could find her own, you know, didn't have to rely on her father.

[10:07] I think his relationship with her mirrored his relationship with his own daughter, the killer.

[10:13] Yeah, he wanted his daughter to kind of find her own thing and not just be a killer like him.

[10:18] Yeah.

[10:19] But that didn't work out for him.

[10:21] No. Well, that one's tough because a lot of the stuff where they actually talk

[10:26] about his daughter being a killer, who, by the way, Newsflash, his daughter's a killer.

[10:31] I don't know if anyone's ever heard of him.

[10:31] Yeah, his daughter played by James Woods' daughter from Shark, the CBS hit show Shark.

[10:38] Yeah, yeah, Shark.

[10:39] So she specializes in playing the daughter of male stars from, you know, a decade past, say.

[10:47] Okay. Well, yeah, so she apparently is a murderer or a murderess.

[10:52] Don't know which is appropriate.

[10:54] Just a murderer.

[10:54] The shirt murderer.

[10:56] Don't be sexist, Stuart.

[10:57] Now, the entire, like, the only time.

[10:59] Girls can murder just like anyone else.

[11:01] Well, the only time they really address her being a murderer is

[11:04] when he's talking to his imaginary friend.

[11:07] And since those conversations don't really happen, is she really a murderer

[11:12] or is that all, like, made up shit?

[11:15] Is that a part of his craziness that's coming out?

[11:18] Yeah.

[11:18] Maybe is he just, like, projecting, like, if I was her, I'd be a murderer.

[11:23] Maybe she's imaginary as well.

[11:25] That's never, well, that'd be kind of strange, but.

[11:27] I'd also like to point out that, like, she's apparently a hatchet killer.

[11:30] I mean, first of all, I think that in general, like, women, you know,

[11:34] like not to gender discriminate or, like, make specifications,

[11:37] but I think women are more poison-oriented murderers in general.

[11:42] But also, why would she be carrying around a hatchet?

[11:45] Either this is a crime of passion and she just happened to have a hatchet

[11:48] because she was chopping some kindling or she specifically chose a hatchet.

[11:53] And I'm not sure which one would be weirder for, like, like a student who wants to embark

[11:58] on her career of killing, chooses a hatchet.

[12:00] Well, maybe it was logging school she was going to.

[12:03] I mean.

[12:03] They didn't address that.

[12:04] It could have been logging school, Dan.

[12:06] Jeanette, you're literally the first woman we've had on the podcast,

[12:10] so you have to represent your entire sex.

[12:13] Well, I'd like to think that a hatchet is a tool you could use to try and, you know.

[12:18] It's vaginal.

[12:19] It's a phallic, well, it's kind of a phallic symbol.

[12:21] Okay.

[12:22] So, I think that maybe, you know, women oftentimes want the power of being a man.

[12:26] So, it's like swinging a big penis around.

[12:29] Yeah. It's exactly like that.

[12:32] Yep. And when, wait.

[12:35] Wait. Hatchet wound.

[12:37] That's a vagina.

[12:38] Mm-hmm.

[12:39] I've heard that before.

[12:40] See?

[12:40] Yeah. I think you introduced me to that phrase, by the way.

[12:43] And thank you.

[12:44] Man, yeah.

[12:44] That's a good one.

[12:46] So, yeah.

[12:47] So, wait.

[12:47] You take the hatchet and you try and stick it in the hatchet wound.

[12:50] Mm-hmm.

[12:51] That's.

[12:51] Yep. Into the vagina.

[12:53] It's really sensual.

[12:54] Mm-hmm.

[12:55] It's literally the most sensual way to kill someone.

[12:57] Now, you're a woman.

[12:59] Thank you.

[12:59] I think.

[13:01] Yeah.

[13:01] Point.

[13:01] No, no, no.

[13:02] It's cool.

[13:03] I got. You're a murderess.

[13:05] Your dad probably is a murderer.

[13:08] Mm-hmm.

[13:09] I don't know this, though.

[13:10] You don't know this, but, eh, who knows.

[13:12] This is, I suspected.

[13:14] How are you going to start killing people?

[13:15] You got to start killing people.

[13:16] You got to start that career off.

[13:18] You got to get that high.

[13:19] Well, it seems like dad's always killing people with guns, so.

[13:23] That's true.

[13:24] You know, I kind of wanted to step things up a little bit.

[13:27] Okay.

[13:27] So, you would go straight to hatching.

[13:28] Something bloodier.

[13:29] Like a, like a cudgel?

[13:31] I don't know.

[13:31] Like a letter.

[13:32] Let's start with like a letter opener, maybe.

[13:34] Something small to get me into it.

[13:36] Yeah.

[13:37] Just to start you off.

[13:39] Yeah.

[13:39] You could stab someone in the eye with a letter opener.

[13:42] That's true, but that'd be really gross.

[13:45] Killing is gross, Stuart.

[13:46] Killing is gross, but it's also, uh, it gets you off.

[13:49] Yeah.

[13:50] It gets you off.

[13:51] Let's talk about how it gets you, because there was a, the first

[13:54] time we are introduced to Mr.

[13:56] Brooks.

[13:57] Well, first he's won the man of the year.

[13:59] Uh, from what governing body?

[14:02] Uh, I'm not sure.

[14:03] I think it's, I think it's the box makers union.

[14:05] Yeah.

[14:05] Let's, let's take a moment to point out that Mr.

[14:08] Brooks is a box magnate.

[14:10] He owns a very big box making concern.

[14:14] And, um, as a manufacturer of cardboard boxes for various items, we see him

[14:20] showing some Japanese businessmen, the sake box that they've apparently designed

[14:25] in house.

[14:25] Yeah.

[14:26] Uh, he's a very rich man for making boxes.

[14:28] Understandably.

[14:29] So he's being awarded a, um, man of the year.

[14:33] I think not because, because he's a box maker.

[14:36] I don't think for his box making work.

[14:37] I think he's a philanthropist.

[14:38] Yeah.

[14:39] But then later on that night, he goes out and he murders someone.

[14:43] And when he murders them, he has this odd sort of orgasmic reaction that's captured

[14:48] from several different camera angles and replayed and slow motion.

[14:54] Well, let's point out that it also been two years since he had murdered anyone.

[14:58] So this was like the orgasm waiting to happen.

[15:01] The murder, murder gasm.

[15:03] So do you think Kevin Costner used his own O face as a model for that or that he

[15:08] based it on somebody else's O face?

[15:11] I think he studied.

[15:12] I think he went on ride alongs with other murderers and saw what they looked like.

[15:17] That's well, I've always heard that Kevin Costner like really gets into his roles

[15:21] like that.

[15:21] Like when he was in the postman.

[15:23] Are you saying that he killed someone?

[15:25] I would, I wouldn't put it past him.

[15:28] In the postman, I bet he delivered a lot of mail and he had people call him the

[15:32] postman in the water, in water world.

[15:35] They called him water man.

[15:37] He had gills.

[15:38] Seriously attached to his neck.

[15:41] That was a good movie too.

[15:43] He also wore a bow tie in this film.

[15:45] Let's not forget that.

[15:46] That's true.

[15:47] He did.

[15:47] Now, a couple of weeks ago, I watched the first half of the guardian also released

[15:52] this year, featuring Kevin Costner in the title and like the lead role title role.

[15:57] I think he played the guardian.

[15:59] And Ash, another, another actor that America's love affair with will just never

[16:05] stop.

[16:06] Weirdly enough, uh, the Demi Moore connection.

[16:09] Uh, and you know what?

[16:10] Do you think that maybe Ashton Kutcher, um, pushed the Mr.

[16:14] Brooks script into Demi Moore's hands?

[16:16] It's like, oh, Costner was talking about this great project he's working on.

[16:20] And I'm thinking, I think there's a perfect role for you.

[16:23] You know what, I bet that he actually had Ashley Judd all lined up.

[16:27] They filmed a couple of scenes and then Ashton Kutcher flexed his, uh, flexed his

[16:34] muscle or, or maybe, maybe he just played the friend card.

[16:38] Cause I heard the guardian, I bet they were pretty fast friends.

[16:41] You know, the, uh, their onscreen chemistry was amazing.

[16:44] Was it in the guardian?

[16:46] Uh, uh, didn't you see it too?

[16:48] I didn't see the guardian.

[16:49] Okay.

[16:50] I did.

[16:51] As I, as I said, a couple of minutes ago, you see it with your other girlfriend's

[16:55] story, there seems to be a little confusion about it.

[16:57] Yes.

[16:57] I don't want to talk about this.

[17:00] So the guardian, not very good.

[17:02] This, uh, quite good, apparently.

[17:03] Now there was a part of the thing that was confusing about Demi Moore was the fact

[17:07] that her characters seem pretty much unnecessary, completely, uh, totally

[17:11] unnecessary.

[17:12] And then they include the additional serial killer subplot where she's like

[17:15] chasing a serial killer who just escaped.

[17:17] Uh, who's dating like the serial killer's dating some chick with really big eyebrows.

[17:22] Yeah.

[17:22] Uh, and half dyed hair or two-tone hair, which is the way that, uh, the way that

[17:28] they almost get Demi Moore, the way the killer almost gets Demi Moore is Demi

[17:31] Moore distracted.

[17:33] Apparently by this woman's two-tone hair.

[17:36] I mean, that's the way it seems to be edited and shot.

[17:39] Yeah.

[17:40] And then that gives, uh, the killer time to, uh, push her into the van and they

[17:45] drive off with her.

[17:46] Yeah.

[17:47] I would be distracted.

[17:48] I think.

[17:49] I mean, guys, uh, I mean, she's distracted, I think primarily because let's be

[17:54] honest, Demi Moore's hair in this movie looks great.

[17:58] Yeah.

[17:58] He looks fantastic.

[17:59] It looks really bad and flat.

[18:01] Well, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

[18:04] How did it compare to Charlie's Angels 2?

[18:07] You know, I'm actually going to have to, uh, I'm going to have to admit that I

[18:11] never actually saw that one.

[18:12] Really?

[18:13] I don't know how I managed to miss that one.

[18:15] Because I'm a really big fan of Mickey G.

[18:18] Here's where I'm going to go out on a, on a, on a, on a limb.

[18:22] All the true, uh, film fans are just going to crucify me for, for holding this

[18:26] position.

[18:27] But I think that Charlie's Angels 2 is superior to the original Charlie's Angels.

[18:33] That's going to be a really tough sell, Dan.

[18:35] Oh, you're going to get a lot of slack for that one.

[18:37] Oh, there's going to be a lot of chatter on the, the Flophouse forums.

[18:42] I'm going to rent, uh, I'm going to rent Charlie's Angels 2 and call you up in

[18:45] like an hour.

[18:47] What is it, like 60 minutes?

[18:49] Because I'm more interested right now in talking about this than what we're

[18:52] actually talking about.

[18:53] Let me give you my rationale though.

[18:54] Um, okay.

[18:55] Charlie's Angels, obviously like supposed to be this stupid, like action film

[19:00] you're not supposed to take seriously.

[19:02] It was an action comedy.

[19:03] However, when I watched it, I was like, well, they want to have it both ways.

[19:08] They want to have it be like this really, really goofy movie, but they also want it

[19:11] to somehow still work kind of as a blockbuster.

[19:14] I felt like, whereas the second movie was so absurd that it basically was just, you

[19:21] know, let's, let's, let's have the angels up here in a variety of fetish

[19:25] costumes for, for various reasons, you know, like they're, they're different

[19:29] under, under, uh, undercover missions.

[19:31] I sort of, I sort of respected it for its lack of ambition.

[19:36] No, sure.

[19:37] I like that the only thing that you can say about it is that they wore fetish.

[19:40] Well, really, really, what else are you watching Charlie's Angels 2 for?

[19:46] I'm not attracted to any of the three members of the Charlie's Angels team.

[19:51] Yeah.

[19:51] I think that's kind of weird.

[19:52] Yeah.

[19:53] I think I'm supposed to be, yeah.

[19:56] Cameron Diaz.

[19:57] Yeah.

[19:57] From the mask.

[19:59] Yep.

[19:59] That's.

[20:00] She's best known for her role in the movie.

[20:03] Breakthrough performance.

[20:06] But to return, I guess, to Mr. Brooks, yeah, we were talking about that.

[20:11] So, Dane Cook is in this movie.

[20:14] I've never actually seen him in a movie or anything before.

[20:17] I had no idea who he was before this movie.

[20:20] He's apparently on MySpace a lot.

[20:22] Yeah.

[20:23] Doing what?

[20:24] Being a comedian.

[20:25] Yeah, but being a comedian specifically, but enjoys networking with his fans.

[20:29] That's pretty cool.

[20:30] So he writes people jokes on their MySpace comments?

[20:33] Yep.

[20:34] Hey, Star Wars rocks.

[20:36] I'm Dane Cook.

[20:37] Peace out, suckers.

[20:38] That's not a joke.

[20:40] Shit.

[20:41] Oh, my God.

[20:42] Then he isn't a comedian.

[20:44] He's known for really building up a fan base through interacting with the people.

[20:50] He's come down out of his high stand-up tower to really interact with his fans

[20:57] directly through the Internet.

[20:59] Okay.

[21:00] He's an everyman kind of guy.

[21:02] Yeah, he also likes a lot of gestures.

[21:05] This is like a gesture-based comedy.

[21:08] Well, I'd have to say that I wasn't very impressed with his performance in this movie.

[21:12] I wasn't impressed with his skin complexion.

[21:18] You were impressed with it?

[21:20] I wasn't.

[21:21] Oh, you weren't?

[21:22] He looked kind of like a beige-orange peel.

[21:26] Why did he start out as this tough guy like,

[21:31] I've got your secret.

[21:33] I'm going to take you down if you don't do what I want,

[21:36] and then turn into this blubbering, nervous wreck?

[21:40] Yeah, well, let's clarify.

[21:41] Dane Cook played the guy who wanted to become a murderer.

[21:45] He saw Mr. Brooks kill someone, and instead of turning him in,

[21:49] he was like, I want to join your murder club.

[21:54] Or at the very least being like, hey, you know what?

[21:57] This guy just murdered two people.

[22:00] He's probably done it before, and this guy's got a lot to lose.

[22:03] Maybe I shouldn't threaten him at all?

[22:06] Well, again, it's the perfect stranger problem.

[22:08] We talked about how at the end of Perfect Stranger,

[22:11] Giovanni Ribisi shows up at Halle Berry's place and is like,

[22:14] oh, by the way, I figured out you're the murderer,

[22:17] and I haven't told anybody, and I want you to have sex with me,

[22:22] or else I'll tell people, and so, of course, she kills him.

[22:27] Likewise, here, Dane Cook's character is a little smarter.

[22:30] He has the photographs of the killing, and he's, you know,

[22:34] it's the old, if something happens to me,

[22:36] these photos are going to be found, ploy.

[22:39] But still, outsmarted.

[22:41] Yeah, well, you added the inferior mind to Kevin Costner's character.

[22:45] Again, all serial killers are masterminds and geniuses.

[22:50] I mean, the other thing is, of course, keep in mind that,

[22:52] like this movie demonstrated once again,

[22:54] the two heads are better than one.

[22:56] Kevin Costner also has the advantage of having William Hurt around to give him advice.

[23:02] So in addition to being a genius as it is, then he has his...

[23:06] He has an additional imaginary character helping him out.

[23:09] Yeah.

[23:10] A Paul Bettany-esque character, if you will.

[23:13] Right, right.

[23:14] Who they also like to enjoy little cackles together at certain times throughout the movie,

[23:18] which I thought was really retarded.

[23:21] Frankly, there's a lot of things I didn't like about this movie.

[23:24] But in actuality, one of the things I did like,

[23:26] I thought there was a weird friendly chemistry between William Hurt and Kevin Costner.

[23:31] I did not like that.

[23:32] That is, I think, one of the only things I actually genuinely liked,

[23:35] is it almost felt like it did kind of feel like they're weird buddies.

[23:38] Now, granted, both of them are kind of weird guys in general.

[23:41] It didn't make any sense to me, because it started out with Kevin Costner hating this guy,

[23:45] and like, well, not hating him, but just like,

[23:47] really wanting to overcome his obsession with killing,

[23:51] and then going, ah, stop telling me to kill people, I hate you.

[23:55] And then all of a sudden they're like buddies and cackling in the back,

[23:57] and then, you know, hugging each other in the kitchen on the floor while they're crying together.

[24:02] Yeah, that was, they did hug.

[24:04] Was that an imaginary hug, though, probably?

[24:07] I think we're to believe it's probably.

[24:09] I thought that was a real hug.

[24:10] You think he was hugging air?

[24:11] I think that was a real hug.

[24:14] You know, I thought maybe when they're laughing,

[24:16] like that was the one time when the two sides of his personality merged,

[24:19] when they had a good laugh together.

[24:21] Okay, I thought it was deep like that.

[24:23] I have to say, going back to Dane Cook, though,

[24:26] you know, not a good actor.

[24:29] However, I think appropriate to the role.

[24:32] Because I really believed that he was like this creepy asshole.

[24:36] That's fair, he did seem like a creepy asshole,

[24:39] and frankly, the majority of the movie, like, when he got killed,

[24:42] I didn't really care. I thought it was kind of funny.

[24:44] Well, that's the problem, though.

[24:45] I didn't care about anybody in this movie, really.

[24:48] Like, not even Kevin Costner.

[24:50] Kevin Costner's, like, liking Kevin Costner is always a fucking uphill battle.

[24:54] You got movies like Ten Cup and all those other fucking movies

[24:57] where, like, eventually you're like,

[24:59] oh man, this rascal, this old fucking sandbagger.

[25:02] Okay, fine, I like him, despite all his flaws.

[25:05] Well, this movie, like, there's very little like about him

[25:08] other than the fact that, like, he's really good at being a murderer.

[25:11] Yeah, you mean that the fact that he's a serial killer

[25:14] doesn't make you sympathetic to him?

[25:16] I know, isn't that strange?

[25:17] I mean, they do, like, there is the good screenwriting thing early on

[25:21] where they're like, the main character is awarded the Man of the Year Award.

[25:25] Oh, he is? Well, what's his story?

[25:29] I want to find out more about this guy.

[25:31] That is the most baffling sort of screenplay trope to me, by the way.

[25:34] The fact, you know, you see it in movies like, you know,

[25:38] you see it in, like, cop movies of the 80s.

[25:41] Say, a Beverly Hills cop where the bad guy is always

[25:45] the upstanding member of society who's being awarded,

[25:49] who's being honored at some charity function.

[25:52] Like the fugitive.

[25:53] Yeah, then they'll break in and they'll be like,

[25:55] wait a minute, and then there's a big, you know, hullabaloo.

[25:58] You know, I guess that was an original idea

[26:00] when it was an original idea.

[26:02] Like, oh, okay, the villain's actually...

[26:04] That was original, because I was just thinking about this, actually.

[26:08] It seems like in 70s films, especially Robert De Niro,

[26:12] is that who I'm thinking of? Taxi Driver? Yeah, yeah.

[26:14] Yeah.

[26:15] He always plays such a bad, like, unlikable character

[26:19] back in the 70s in all those movies.

[26:21] Like, the womanizer and this kind of disgusting,

[26:24] and all these gritty New York movies where he's killing people

[26:26] and you never like him, but he's the hero.

[26:28] I feel like the 80s was the turnaround time.

[26:31] We can, like, we're supposed to start liking the character more.

[26:34] They're supposed to be, like, more upstanding citizens,

[26:37] but that doesn't work really for me.

[26:39] Wait, the bad guys are supposed to be more upstanding,

[26:42] or the good guys are, like...

[26:43] The good guys... The bad guys can be both now.

[26:46] Oh, okay.

[26:47] The good guys are, like, individualistic antiheroes.

[26:50] Okay.

[26:51] That's kind of like this movie.

[26:53] Speaking of Beverly Hills Cop, though,

[26:56] I want to point out that the director of this film,

[26:59] the one other movie he directed was Cuffs,

[27:01] which is basically Beverly Hills Cop

[27:03] if you replace the Beverly Hills Police Department

[27:06] with a private security company.

[27:08] Which is weird.

[27:09] And replace Eddie Murphy with Christian Slater.

[27:11] Damn, I'm not going to lie.

[27:13] I really like the movie Cuffs.

[27:15] Yeah.

[27:16] Is there a bitch with a shoe in that movie?

[27:18] No.

[27:19] What's her fucking name?

[27:21] Oh my God, the chick from Resident Evil.

[27:23] Oh yeah, Melanie Jovovich.

[27:25] That was one of her first acting parts.

[27:28] Exactly.

[27:29] And the dude who played the titular role, Dr. Giggles,

[27:32] was one of the bad guys.

[27:34] Dr. Giggles.

[27:36] No, I, you know, I...

[27:38] It's probably not a good movie,

[27:40] but I saw Cuffs at the right age that now I...

[27:42] I saw that and, like, the next week I saw

[27:44] If Looks Could Kill with Richard Brinkman

[27:46] and I was like,

[27:47] movies can't get better than these, dudes!

[27:52] Man.

[27:53] We had some laughs talking about

[27:55] If Looks Could Kill earlier.

[27:57] A couple seconds ago.

[27:59] I just have a little flashback to remind you.

[28:01] Yeah.

[28:02] Well, um, despite all the plots,

[28:05] I feel like we're winding down a little.

[28:07] I think that we should just move on.

[28:09] Probably a good idea.

[28:10] Wind it up.

[28:11] So, final judgments?

[28:13] Yeah, can you remind us of the...

[28:16] As always, the official Flophouse categories are

[28:19] Is this a movie that you didn't like at all

[28:21] and wouldn't recommend to anyone?

[28:23] A movie that you thought was

[28:25] so bad it's good, if you will,

[28:27] funny because it was bad?

[28:29] Or a movie that you secretly kind of liked?

[28:31] So I'm going to start with Jeannette.

[28:34] A lot of pressure.

[28:36] A lot of pressure.

[28:37] Actually, that's a pretty easy one for me.

[28:39] I would have to say the number one category here.

[28:42] I didn't like it at all

[28:44] and I wouldn't recommend it to watch for a good time.

[28:49] Because honestly, I didn't really have...

[28:51] So you would recommend it to watch for a bad time?

[28:53] Yes.

[28:54] If you like to have a bad time.

[28:56] Now, I wouldn't even say it's a bad time.

[28:58] It's just kind of like an eh, honk shoo.

[29:00] It's a little...

[29:02] I don't know.

[29:03] Too much convoluted plot.

[29:05] I didn't really want there to be so much.

[29:08] I wasn't...

[29:09] You didn't really care.

[29:11] I cared.

[29:12] I didn't want there to be so much.

[29:14] Okay.

[29:15] Dan?

[29:16] I'm going to...

[29:17] This might...

[29:18] I'm going to go for it.

[29:19] This is going to be my first...

[29:20] I kind of liked it.

[29:21] I kind of...

[29:22] I'm not going to go out...

[29:23] I'm not going to say it's a good movie by any stretch.

[29:25] However, what I appreciated about it

[29:27] was actually what you didn't like.

[29:29] I just liked the fact that there was so much stuff going on.

[29:33] We made this weird thriller

[29:36] and we're just going to pack it full of the craziest twists.

[29:39] We are going to have four killers in it.

[29:43] Or three killers and one potential killer.

[29:46] Like the tagline I was saying.

[29:48] If you're a guy who wants to be a killer,

[29:51] you need to learn from a killer

[29:53] who's the dad of the killer.

[29:56] It was just really weird.

[30:00] good but if it came on like HBO if you had HBO and it came on and you had like

[30:05] a couple drinks and it's like a Tuesday yeah I would say watch it yeah yep in a

[30:12] world where of too many killers the best killer has to set up and kill the other

[30:17] you know Dan we've had a lot of disagreements in the past I think this

[30:23] one I might actually have to agree with Dan I weirdly enjoyed this movie I don't

[30:28] quite know why but early on I was like this movies fucking really weird I think

[30:34] it was when the dude blackmailing him was like dude I totally want to join

[30:39] your team yeah like okay fuck it okay along with this Dave Cook dude let me sit

[30:46] in the backseat with William Hurt and we'll watch what's going on so yeah I

[30:51] mean I'm not gonna say it's a good movie or like I agree with like it being good

[30:56] or interesting but there's a lot of weird-ass shit happening in this I have

[31:01] to say I liked significant parts of it all right holy shit Wow

[31:06] it's a little weird maybe it's cuz Simon's not here yeah he's a very

[31:10] negative guy yeah we didn't have his negative like toxicity like pouring all

[31:15] over us well moving away from that section of the show however now comes

[31:22] the section where we're talking about things that we would recommend without

[31:26] reservations perhaps not if you're having a couple drinks on a Tuesday so

[31:32] I'm gonna start with Stewart last night I watched the first half of a little

[31:39] movie called 300 and you know we don't get a lot of like really good period

[31:43] pieces anymore and well you're gonna try and sell 300 is a really good period is

[31:48] a really good period piece like it really transports you to the the days of

[31:52] your and what was your it was quite some time ago if I recall all right well

[31:57] there when there are monsters invading from Africa or something and you know

[32:03] where men were men and had really awesome six-packs and we're kind of

[32:07] sassy and really appreciate their freedom so I'm gonna recommend that if

[32:12] you really like your freedom and you don't like some fucking giant dude with

[32:17] a bunch of slaves telling you what to do you should watch that shit it's pretty

[32:21] good no no I you know I watched 300 I guess I was entertained but for a movie

[32:30] that was like nothing but a big fight scene I was strangely bored by it I fell

[32:35] asleep I was I was tired so I can't blame it on the movie I blame the

[32:40] Persians they must have hit you with some sleeping gas yeah carried by one of

[32:45] their elephant men Jeanette you have a recommendation I don't know I'm trying

[32:49] I'm trying to think of something I mean this is a movie. A movie that you recommend.

[32:53] Yeah. Yes, I'm excited. I have a lot of difficulty grasping the concept.

[33:01] Yep, you're going to recommend my mom, right?

[33:03] Uh, no. That's not a movie.

[33:07] You're afraid that she's going to recommend the soda fresca.

[33:11] No, the thing is that I have a lot of difficulty grasping the basic premise of this part of the show so I was trying to help you on

[33:18] because I thought you know frankly you might fuck it up like I did and got a

[33:22] lot of flack from Dan no no I understand I understand this part I'm actually

[33:26] trying to think of something that I've seen recently the only thing I happen to

[33:32] see George of the Jungle yesterday with Brendan Fraser I would recommend that

[33:38] movie if you would like to be just completely feel ridiculous the entire

[33:44] time you're watching it and kind of pissed off so that is more of a

[33:50] conditional recommendation but other than that I guess I could recommend I

[33:54] just watched Raising Arizona again for the first time in a long time so that's

[34:00] always a good one to fall back on. Good for a laugh. Good for a good child.

[34:04] Now, wasn't Brendan Fraser also in the Dudley Do-Right movie? Yeah, he's making a career of

[34:09] being in Jay Ward cartoon adaptations. That's fucking really weird. Yeah, he was in, what else was he in that was really, I think he had like a niche. Oh, Encino, was he in Encino Man? He was totally in Encino Man. He actually played the Encino Man character that Pauly Shore and Sean Astin

[34:27] befriended. He's also in Monkeybone. He is in the movie Monkeybone, that's true. I didn't know there was a movie named Monkeybone. He's also in that Blast from the Past movie with Christopher Walton and Alicia Silverstone.

[34:38] There's a whole sort of like extremely light comedy. A lot like 300 in that way. So ours is kind of a match up. Days of Yore. So after all that discussion about how it has to be a

[34:55] movie that we're recommending, this is like a first for me because I do a

[35:01] movie podcast. You probably see a lot of movies. I like movies. I have not seen any movies since we last recorded a podcast. So are you going to just recommend Mr. Brooks? Well, everyone should see it. It's my pick for Best Picture Oscar. Oh, interesting.

[35:19] No, I'm going to break the rules but I'm going to keep in the video medium and say that I watched for the first time the IT Crowd, the British sitcom that was downloaded for me by a friend in what I'm sure is a completely legal way from the internet.

[35:41] Sure. What was his name? His name is Mr. Brooks. It was on Mr. Brooks Lane. There's no way that could be fake. On 1234 Fake Street, sure. But what I have to say about the IT Crowd is British sitcoms seem to have this ability to do something that most American sitcoms just don't know how to do which is have relatable sort of

[36:08] understandable situations. It has a real life grounding to stuff but then it's not afraid of just throwing in completely absurd off the wall stuff and having that exist in the same universe and trust that the audience isn't going to be like, wait a minute, are we in a real world or are we in a crazy world? They're just going to take it as comedy because it's funny and it's a really good show.

[36:34] I would have never known we could do shows. Man. This thing's falling apart. Yeah. I prefer movies and not shows so I guess I'm in the minority of my guys. Yeah. You're just enjoying your moral superiority for once. I am. It's weird. It feels kind of uncomfortable.

[36:55] So, this is the first flop house with a guest host. How do you think it went guys? How are you doing? Weird. Yeah? Awkward. You feel a little uncomfortable? Sure. Well I feel a little pressure representing the entire woman, you know, population. Movie population. We're both forceful, bombastic personalities. I know. I mean I think we popped a lot of cherries tonight guys. The woman cherry. Your cherry. I'm feeling violated. Sure. Understandably. A little sore.

[37:25] A lot of girth.

[37:56] And maybe we'll respond. What do you think of that? What do you think of that? That's good. You were tight on that one dude. Yeah. Totally on the ball. I'm trying to cut down on the lengthy podcasts. Yeah. I'm just going to talk for about 20 more minutes about girth. You know what? It's because Simon's not here. That dude's a fucking slewy one canoobie.

[38:17] All we're going to get is infuriated emails from Simon at theflophousepodcast at gmail.com. He doesn't own a computer. It's okay. I'll never listen to the flop house again. Well, on that tragic note. It is tragic. I'll sign off for tonight. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Willington. I'm Jeanette Lair. Good night. Bye. Bye. Yay.

[38:47] Oh wait. DSL lips is redundant. Yes, that would be redundant. They're sucking lip lips. Yep. It's like the ATM machine, you know. Look at her. Look at those plump ass lips. Looks like she got stung by a bunch of sexy babies. Yeah. Right around the lips.

The Flop House: Episode Seven - Mr. Brooks

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