The Flop House: Episode 8 - I Know Who Killed Me

[0:00] Just in time for Christmas, it's our Lindsay Lohan is an amputee stripper episode.

[0:05] We discuss I Know Who Killed Me.

[0:31] Hello, welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:37] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:39] And I'm Phil in Elliot Kalin.

[0:41] Yes, Elliot Kalin, by day, a segment producer for The Daily Show and popular Metro columnist.

[0:48] Although, I guess by day right now, it's the writer's strike, so...

[0:52] By day, I am a guitar hero guitarist and Wii tennis pro.

[0:56] And popular columnist for Metro.

[0:58] If you ever wanted to know what happens at The Daily Show offices during the strike,

[1:02] apparently it's a lot of video games.

[1:04] A lot of video games, and we watched Robocop and 310 to Yuma a couple days ago.

[1:08] That's a sweet job.

[1:10] Yeah.

[1:11] But anyway, we didn't watch Robocop or 310 to Yuma.

[1:14] We watched I Know Who Killed Me, starring Lindsay Lohan.

[1:18] And what are you guys' feelings about Lindsay Lohan, former America's Sweetheart Lindsay Lohan?

[1:24] Yeah, she's in this movie.

[1:27] That's your first thought about her.

[1:29] I think she plays two characters, or is that spoiling too much of the movie?

[1:33] Well, does she play two characters?

[1:35] Two characters, like in the true sense of the word, characters.

[1:38] Two very different personalities.

[1:40] For instance, one kisses her boyfriend without biting his lip, and one kisses her boyfriend and bites his lip.

[1:45] The first being Aubrey, Aubrey Fleming?

[1:48] The nice character's named Aubrey Fleming, and the bad girl is named Dakota Moss.

[1:53] Now that's good screenwriting. Those names right there.

[1:56] Both names that are naturally occurring.

[1:59] Well, Aubrey Fleming, I think we were saying, apparently Lindsay Lohan's playing sort of an 18th century gadabout.

[2:06] It's sort of a wit.

[2:08] Or a 19th century scientist.

[2:11] Right, Aubrey Fleming.

[2:13] Discovered the cure for cholera, or something like that.

[2:16] Yeah.

[2:17] But one of them is a local school child.

[2:21] Very talented.

[2:22] A pianist.

[2:24] A pianist, and a...

[2:25] And that shit comes to bite her in the ass if I recall the actual movie.

[2:29] If I remember what happens in the movie, the fact that she's a good-ass pianist,

[2:33] and doesn't actually respect her skills, and doesn't want to do it anymore,

[2:36] I think ends up getting her shit fucked up and all melted off, right? Or chopped off?

[2:40] Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

[2:41] Oh, yeah.

[2:42] The lesson of the movie seems to be if you have a gift in music, you should go for it.

[2:46] Or else you might lose a hand and leg and be prematurely married.

[2:49] So that's what you took away from this movie.

[2:51] Well, it's kind of what you have to take away from it.

[2:53] Don't hide your light under a bushel.

[2:55] It's the moral.

[2:56] It's an inspiring tale for talented youngsters everywhere.

[2:58] There's a place for you even if it's buried in a glass coffin.

[3:01] That's the thing, Aubrey Fleming spends most of the movie buried in said glass coffin.

[3:06] But you don't know that until the end.

[3:08] Right.

[3:09] We are to puzzle out this web, and decide whether...

[3:15] Chinese puzzle box of a film, with more questions than answers.

[3:18] Is Lindsay Lohan actually two characters?

[3:20] Or does Dakota Moss, the stripper, is she actually Aubrey Fleming?

[3:27] What's weird is I think at one point they actually clarify, like the FBI agents actually find a story that Aubrey...

[3:34] I keep wanting to say Aubrey because that's an actual name.

[3:36] Yeah.

[3:37] Aubrey wrote, before she was kidnapped, about a person named Dakota who's a stripper.

[3:43] But...

[3:44] But there's an actual person named Dakota.

[3:46] But it's established that being twins, as it turns out, I don't want to give too much away also,

[3:51] they of course have a telepathic connection to each other.

[3:54] Yeah.

[3:55] Now, like my experience with twins is exclusively through like G.I. Joe with Tomas and Zamar,

[4:00] where if you punch one, the other one feels it and they finish each other's sentences.

[4:03] Ellie, you were saying you actually have a twin sister?

[4:05] I have a twin sister myself.

[4:07] And this just happens, right?

[4:08] No, it does not.

[4:09] Have you tried punching her and seeing whether you get hurt?

[4:12] I have not tried punching her, but I am basically a teetotaler.

[4:15] I don't drink.

[4:16] And she is a heavy drinker.

[4:18] And at one time...

[4:20] I'm sure she would appreciate that you're reviewing this on the podcast.

[4:24] In her college days, she would often get, you know, she'd have to get her stomach pumped or something.

[4:29] She would be sick with drink, as they might say in like a Jack London novel.

[4:33] And I never felt any ill effects whatsoever.

[4:35] We have no link like that.

[4:37] Maybe you're just immune to the effects of alcohol.

[4:40] That could be it too.

[4:41] We should test that.

[4:43] That will be after the podcast.

[4:45] We will feed you shot after shot and see what happens.

[4:49] That's a great idea.

[4:50] So they have a telepathic connection, but that's only kind of hinted at.

[4:54] Through a very bizarre insert of an educational film starring Radio's Art Bell.

[5:01] The Arizona Paranormal Radio host.

[5:04] Yeah, I'm not actually as familiar with Art Bell, so can you expound a little bit?

[5:08] Art Bell has been hosting a radio show for decades now.

[5:10] He's either in Arizona or New Mexico.

[5:12] And on the show they talk about the paranormal, government conspiracies, Area 51.

[5:17] I actually think he does it from Hawaii now.

[5:19] He got remarried at one point after his family was either kidnapped or murdered, I believe.

[5:24] Whoa! I should make that movie.

[5:27] He's a much more interesting character.

[5:29] So he's a real-life person.

[5:31] He's a radio show host who does this after-hours radio show where people call in and talk about seeing Sasquatch or being kidnapped by the government.

[5:38] And he shows up in this movie, not referred to by name, and talks about stigmata.

[5:43] And the film's understanding of stigmata is faulty.

[5:47] Yeah, it's faulty.

[5:48] But first let's point out that this movie is in the grand tradition of movies where computers are used.

[5:54] In that it has no understanding of the way computers are used.

[5:57] Lindsay Lohan has a little bit better understanding.

[6:00] Lindsay Lohan has had this unexplained bleeding.

[6:02] It has a better understanding.

[6:03] So she types in unexplained bleeding and she gets articles on stigmata.

[6:07] And then she clicks on a picture of a stigmatic.

[6:09] And this video of Art Bell explaining the movie's idea of stigmata pops up in a real internet pop-up.

[6:19] It would be, I guess, a porn ad.

[6:21] It has a better understanding of the internet than, say, the cartoon Freakazoid in which you can be sucked into the internet and become a superhero.

[6:28] Just a slightly better understanding.

[6:30] Right. But stigmata in this movie...

[6:32] Oh, she also has a robot hand. We forgot to mention that.

[6:36] Believe me.

[6:39] Wait, she had a robot hand?

[6:41] What movie was I watching?

[6:44] This is an areligious sort of version of stigmata.

[6:46] Yes.

[6:47] Because she has unexplained bleeding from her hand.

[6:50] But it's not the wounds of Christ.

[6:55] It's the fact that her twin sister has had her hand chopped off.

[6:59] Their theory of stigmata seems to be that, say, the holy monks who had stigmata must have had identical twins they didn't know about somewhere on Earth being poked in the palm at that moment.

[7:09] So what they're saying is...

[7:10] Possibly by a member of G.I.G.O.

[7:12] That Jesus had a twin.

[7:14] Yes.

[7:15] And that twin is everyone who's had stigmata through the ages.

[7:18] Let me correct you right there, Dan. I'm not actually a Christian.

[7:21] But Jesus, his stigmata was caused by a nail through the palm.

[7:26] It's the wounds of Christ who got them in a very logical way.

[7:30] Somehow I forgot the entire Easter story.

[7:32] I don't know how that's possible.

[7:34] You forgot the point of Jesus' life.

[7:37] Oh, Lindsay Lohan.

[7:38] Son of a minister.

[7:39] I'm kind of interested that you pronounce it Lindsay Lohan and not Lindsay Lohan, as I am used to.

[7:43] I say Lohan, yeah.

[7:44] That's weird, Dan.

[7:45] I'm more stylish than you guys.

[7:48] Yeah, yeah, obviously.

[7:49] You are the only one wearing a button-down shirt in the room, so...

[7:51] Yeah, well, that was for work.

[7:54] Now, Lindsay Lohan, I thought...

[7:56] You know, I was a big fan circa Mean Girls.

[7:59] I thought, oh, this is a...

[8:01] She's a talented young actress.

[8:03] She looked pretty good in that, yeah.

[8:04] And she was cute.

[8:05] She was cute back then.

[8:07] And now she's become all sort of orange.

[8:09] She's gotten very oily and greasy.

[8:11] She's gotten oily and orangey.

[8:13] Some of that I think rubbed off from making out with Bruce Willis.

[8:15] But otherwise, who knows? Drinking and jacking.

[8:18] Whoa, whoa.

[8:19] You know, she was seen with Bruce Willis in a number of nightclubs for a time.

[8:23] Really?

[8:24] Making out, yeah.

[8:25] They had kind of a Lance Armstrong-Ashley Olsen relationship.

[8:28] Why do I find that much more alarming than Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher?

[8:32] Because I think it's a double.

[8:34] Because Bruce Willis, I think, is no Demi Moore.

[8:36] Let's start with that.

[8:37] Okay.

[8:38] Do you think he took her home and played a lot of harmonica to her?

[8:41] Probably.

[8:42] I have to assume that his Bruno personality made an appearance.

[8:46] And in his own way, Bruce Willis and Bruno are not too different

[8:49] from the Aubrey Dakota split that we see here.

[8:52] The good and the bad, if you will.

[8:54] Do you think her attraction was based on, I don't know,

[8:57] a number of viewings of Color of Night?

[9:00] Or Hudson Hawk, perhaps.

[9:02] Yeah, she's like, I want to get a piece of that.

[9:04] Yes.

[9:05] When she was growing up as a child actress, her family had HBO.

[9:09] She was nine years old, and she stumbled upon Color of Night.

[9:13] The minute she saw Bruce Willis' penis in that swimming pool.

[9:16] I want a bite. I want a piece.

[9:17] That was the awakening.

[9:18] The awakening of Lindsay.

[9:20] Yep.

[9:21] It's like that scene in Labyrinth.

[9:24] You mean the whole movie, Labyrinth?

[9:26] No, that scene in Labyrinth where she goes with a masquerade ball.

[9:30] Oh, I thought you meant every scene when David Bowie's crotch is so prominently.

[9:35] That's pretty cool, too.

[9:36] That's kind of the Princess Leia bikini for girls.

[9:39] Oh, I never thought of that.

[9:41] That's the best analogy I've heard.

[9:43] That's pretty good.

[9:44] Just this moment when suddenly, as a young child, you're like,

[9:47] Sex!

[9:48] Genitals!

[9:49] I don't know, for me it was Chitara from Thundercats.

[9:55] There's an episode where she's naked the whole time.

[9:57] Yeah, they just didn't paint her right.

[9:59] Yeah.

[10:00] and also the end of just one of the guys are serving yet

[10:04] uh... i don't want to have to be positive i would go with she might own

[10:07] it

[10:08] she had a long along you see and i was always being played

[10:12] uh... the and it's real during the day because it's the delivery

[10:15] repeated stripping

[10:17] filled with the and uh... and uh... my cartoon version as yours would be uh...

[10:22] scarlet

[10:23] from uh... you know for me it's not scarlet it's looking very nice

[10:27] this is the hottest russian chick in the world

[10:30] which is russian i can't and we've got we've got a far field of the fact that

[10:34] there's

[10:35] a large amount of sex in this movie but like i get i think i was puzzling over

[10:39] whether you would count this is a product

[10:41] thriller or there's a there are many stripping scenes

[10:43] yet no stripping out

[10:45] are like as i was saying when we're watching the movie i get

[10:49] i don't mean to be a douche bag or anything but i get really upset when i

[10:52] see movies with strip club scenes

[10:55] that are like filled by people who have never clearly been the strip club is

[10:59] obviously yeah they're not sexy or anything

[11:01] but for one

[11:03] the stripper should be getting naked

[11:06] yet and the waitresses should not be naked because what

[11:09] the server would be getting a lot of it but i don't feel like there's a

[11:12] negative response to her mother said

[11:14] that's the thing that irritates me and i hope not from what it's like

[11:18] uh... jerk guys or perspective but i find it very strange

[11:22] when at the actress signs on to a role where like the role is clearly finders

[11:26] like all right you're a stripper

[11:27] and like all right okay i'll be a stripper

[11:30] but i'll be a stripper who constantly wears abroad panties well that was one

[11:34] of my problems with sin city with jessica alba's character

[11:38] there's time there's plenty of unity in that film in her character of nancy in

[11:41] the sin city comics

[11:43] is making a list almost all the time

[11:46] and is a stripper exact she's the stripper that everyone in sin in basin

[11:49] city is so hot for

[11:51] and then she strips and she dances which is never never takes a close-off and

[11:56] doesn't isn't particularly provocative in her dancing right this isn't this i

[11:59] mean this isn't necessarily a like a plea for more unity although i think it

[12:03] is yes it is all right yeah i mean i'm not asking what's going on i'm not

[12:07] expecting her to be like flashing your but also i don't think that there is a

[12:11] sex scene where she keeps abroad in the film

[12:14] and for a half of it for half of it is that we got so i do that but she's

[12:17] supposed to be a bad girl and she doesn't you know it seems right well my

[12:20] thing is like of course you know it'd be nice to see more naked attractive

[12:25] people in movies like that's part of the reason why you watch movies as opposed

[12:28] to these walter mathem

[12:29] the walter mathem soft core porn

[12:33] it's terrible but no but if you're going to make a movie

[12:37] zolan king directed that one all this you know

[12:40] james earl jones film that i haven't seen that was the erotic couple

[12:44] the erotic couple this is a terrible

[12:47] submitted my heterosexuality

[12:51] but no but it's just like if you're gonna make a movie where that's like a

[12:55] major component of it

[12:56] it just seems very strange yes you know you're you can tell

[13:00] okay there's a no nudity clause in my contract like that's what you think when

[13:04] you watch the film like you

[13:06] they want to create this aura of sexual perversity but they're afraid they won't

[13:10] they can't go that right and all i'm thinking of is like

[13:14] why aren't these patrons demanding their money back

[13:17] they seem to be loving the show that's the thing

[13:20] it's like a flash dance they can't get enough of this show and they all seem to

[13:24] be like kinda old guys that are all like licking their lips creepily

[13:28] yeah like the mental apparition and high attention like

[13:32] weirdos or like udokir in any movie

[13:36] okay fine so they look weirdly european too

[13:42] they had kind of a seedy european quality

[13:45] well let's not dwell on this too much because I believe that we teased a robot hand

[13:50] yes and we didn't even get to the blue and the audience yeah there's two

[13:54] I imagine that the audience heard robot hand

[13:57] skipping ahead every minute to see if we're talking about a robot hand

[14:02] skipping ahead again yeah it's not even really addressed that much in the movie

[14:06] after

[14:07] it happens but the moment I realized that I really was enjoying the craziness of the

[14:11] movie

[14:12] is when crab man the guy who plays crab man on my name is Earl

[14:16] shows up as Lindsay Lohan's doctor very briefly and installs a robot hand

[14:20] because she's again missing a hand he gives her a robot hand that

[14:24] attaches to her stump

[14:26] with a magnet that's the thing there's no visible

[14:29] support mechanism holding it to her arm there's no power source

[14:33] it's like Tesla invented this hand for her and it's been kept around and they give her

[14:37] a lifelike skin to wear over it and it's basically just an

[14:41] elbow length rubber latex glove it's the worst looking prosthetic hand in the world but it's

[14:46] a robot hand that she later uses to fight you know

[14:49] the killer in the movie yeah I guess they figured they're like alright the screenwriter's like

[14:53] okay there's this ending of this movie where Lindsay Lohan takes on

[14:57] the bad guy and it's just not going to be plausible

[15:01] that this young woman is taking on this killer unless I give her some sort of

[15:05] weapon like a robot hand

[15:09] that's what I usually go to I saw it the other way it was the one instance in the thing where he goes

[15:13] what would Chekhov do you know Chekhov wouldn't give a

[15:16] you know if you have a robot hand in the first act it better crush somebody's arm

[15:20] in the third act

[15:22] that's what Chekhov would think about this

[15:26] Anton Chekhov's I Know Who Killed Me

[15:30] although Anton Chekhov's I Know Who Killed Me would be so much better than this

[15:33] because there's almost no exposition in this film at times

[15:36] you're really puzzling your way through it whereas Chekhov's plays are nothing but exposition

[15:41] so I wish he had been brought in to maybe doctor up the script a little bit

[15:44] what I really liked about the robot hand is that so often in movies

[15:48] specifically like thrillers and stuff you're confronted with a moment where you're like

[15:51] where you as a viewer are kind of pulled out of the movie because you're like

[15:54] wait this is like the modern day like people should be able to look shit up on the internet

[15:59] or use a cell phone why aren't they doing that

[16:02] well like if she just ran around without a hand the whole time it'd be like where's the robot hand

[16:07] I saw three people with robot hands on the subway today where the fuck's the robot hand

[16:10] I don't believe this for an instance

[16:13] she's gonna have to fight Darth Vader later without a robot hand

[16:16] I don't believe this

[16:19] and you mentioned the color scheme and I think that you should say a little bit about that

[16:24] uh... what color scheme I think Elliot mentioned it

[16:27] well there's a heavy use of the color blue

[16:30] in every single frame of the film

[16:32] uh... including the dissolves between scenes

[16:34] and it's almost as if

[16:36] the movie is trying to tell us that blue is a scary color or what were your guys takes on that

[16:42] I think somebody watched the uh... the commentary track on uh... the sixth sense

[16:47] and they're like yeah the color whatever the fuck indicates he's a ghost

[16:52] so they're like oh my god if we make everything blue it'll make people realize that our movie's a good movie

[16:57] but there are blue roses there's blue roses blue glass the killer dresses in blue

[17:02] there's just blue light everywhere our bedroom is blue

[17:05] every once in a while the whole screen will just fade to blue

[17:07] yeah it will just fade to blue and then back again all the serial killers

[17:11] weaponry is made out of blue glass

[17:15] well apparently he has a glaziery or a glass blowing kit

[17:17] yes it's not actually I thought it was a brick oven pizza making thing but it's actually a glass blowing kit

[17:24] it's one of those things you have to wonder like

[17:26] who built this house that has this huge glass blowing operation in the basement

[17:30] and how come nobody knows this

[17:32] well again we come back to the evidence dungeon

[17:34] and everyone knows how much I love an evidence dungeon

[17:37] and you know I don't really think this is a true evidence dungeon

[17:40] because there's no information as to why he does things

[17:43] other than his great collection of fake limbs and shit

[17:46] of mannequin limbs which was never explained

[17:48] I think it qualifies in that it's another example of a killer in a movie

[17:53] having this very equipped basement

[17:57] sure

[17:59] you know the basement may have like dirt floors

[18:02] but it also has as you say a big fire for making glass weaponry

[18:07] and it has a bunch of prosthetic limbs hanging from the ceiling

[18:11] which by the way I don't really get

[18:13] I guess he's been doing this a while

[18:15] you know cutting women's limbs off

[18:18] but then why does he have prosthetic limbs

[18:20] but they also only mention one other victim

[18:22] so maybe he's just started out

[18:24] I mean my theory is that they stole it from the movie Killer's Kiss

[18:27] but the climax takes place in a mannequin warehouse

[18:30] yeah I've never seen this movie

[18:31] right

[18:32] it's not very good except the ending

[18:33] the killer by the way not giving away anything

[18:35] makes two appearances in the film

[18:37] one early on and then at the end when it's revealed he's the killer

[18:40] and he is even though he only appears twice if I remember it correctly

[18:44] he was instantly recognizable as the killer

[18:47] what about you

[18:48] in his first appearance

[18:49] well he's a creepy guy

[18:50] you called it

[18:51] he's really creepy and he has a huge blue ring

[18:53] and it's like alright he looks like

[18:55] he looks like you know a loan shark

[18:58] or somebody who owes money to a loan shark

[19:00] he's wearing sunglasses indoors

[19:01] always a fucking negative sign

[19:03] well if you were going to pause the movie 20 minutes in

[19:06] and you're playing like a parlor game

[19:08] where you're just you know you're watching with your friends

[19:11] you all got together to watch I Know Who Killed Me

[19:13] say there's 10 people in the room you know

[19:15] just really enjoying the latest Lindsay Lohan joint

[19:18] and you pause it

[19:19] you pause it 20 minutes in

[19:21] and you say to yourself

[19:23] okay everyone who's the most alarming character

[19:26] we've encountered thus far

[19:28] you would probably guess who the killer is

[19:30] I'd say you'd guess either him or Crazy Gardner

[19:33] who disappears from the film

[19:34] entirely

[19:35] entirely

[19:36] there's a gardener who makes a very blatant sexual come on to Lindsay Lohan

[19:40] that involves taking his shirt off

[19:41] and then fondling a branch I guess

[19:43] with a scorpion tattoo on his nipple

[19:46] a scorpion tattoo

[19:47] yeah that was a strange choice also

[19:49] of either the art director or the actor in real life

[19:51] who got a scorpion tattooed on his nipple

[19:53] but it was also fondling the branch

[19:55] we can find out in the commentary track

[19:56] as if he was giving the branch a hand job

[19:58] yeah

[20:00] which i don't know doesn't seem like the way to come on to a woman

[20:03] frankly if i'm ever in a situation where i am in like the same areas lindsay

[20:08] lowe and i will probably do the same thing for it and i got a lot of it

[20:12] because you're going to say something earlier that interview

[20:14] i was going to say something about the thing about the evidence doesn't

[20:17] simply this one

[20:19] it makes me think like you know every time i go to my apartment now i look

[20:22] about it

[20:24] okay if someone victim was in here

[20:27] with the immediately think that i'm a murderer like it is all like does it

[20:31] seem like a murderer's lair

[20:34] should that mannequin be up with her face or created a collage of like

[20:39] shots taken from across the street of one woman doing various things

[20:43] yeah a lot of pictures of like stolen like ripped out of porno magazines of

[20:47] chicks spreading their vaginas with their eyeballs chopped out

[20:51] is there a release papers from the asylum with your name on it that's a

[20:54] it's a perfect one like a memory

[20:56] they totally have that in memory

[20:59] uh... like a signed confession note by me

[21:03] a murder checklist a picture of me like people to kill with your name

[21:07] unchecked

[21:08] uh... wait you put your own name

[21:10] i put people to kill with it

[21:12] but you're like oh i better

[21:14] i just have to remember never to check that because i'm bound by the choice

[21:18] a list of potential weaknesses i got the pronouns mixed up i meant the name of the victim

[21:24] list of potential weaknesses

[21:26] note to self don't let victims see my back it's bad i might get hit in it

[21:31] don't leave glass axes lying around where they can chop my arm off easily

[21:36] speaking of glass axes chopping arms off here's a problem i had was that

[21:40] lindsey lohan what problem is this lindsey lohan

[21:43] okay she's in the dungeon the killer sticks his arm around the door and she

[21:47] has found one of his glass axes he's carelessly left it on the floor

[21:50] not put it away in his axe holder it seems like you would step on a glass axe and it would shatter

[21:54] yes it's made of glass and even if it's maybe let's say the web

[21:58] well metal enforced glass that you see in

[22:01] schools in their doors because otherwise you might break them as i did once

[22:04] uh... by throwing a lock through it

[22:06] but uh... even if it was that kind of glass

[22:09] it would be hard i would think to cut straight through a person's wrist

[22:12] which lindsey lohan manages to do

[22:14] when the hand goes around the door

[22:15] keep in mind i assume this is a human with a skeleton

[22:18] made of bone

[22:19] and i've never heard of glass cutting through bone

[22:22] but apparently we have no reason not to assume that he has bone

[22:26] i have no reason to assume that he's not

[22:28] a magic you know demon or something

[22:30] made of clay or a golem you know

[22:33] he's probably a golem

[22:35] his bone may have been weakened

[22:37] from all the uh...

[22:39] the uh... dry ice he's been applying

[22:42] to various uh... women to cut their arms off

[22:44] i'm glad you brought that up dane because i actually thought that was kind of cool that weird like

[22:48] torture method of him like

[22:50] like vice clamping dry ice to somebody's hand to like freeze the shit out of it

[22:55] peeling it off yeah that's pretty gross that was kind of cool

[22:58] yeah i guess it's a little it's a little soft

[23:01] i don't you know i don't want to go into the scene like

[23:03] what cool way is he going to use to torture this bitch just the fact that he didn't

[23:08] like stab her right there for instance that way yeah just that they put any thought in the way

[23:11] he torches he torches or kills her

[23:14] uh... i see

[23:15] it's two against one dude

[23:17] i guess i'm wrong

[23:18] you're not wrong let's just say that you didn't think through it fully

[23:22] now i want to talk about uh... the ending to this movie now

[23:26] i thought that this movie which ending

[23:28] yeah that's a good point there's two the theatrical ending and then we'll talk about the alternate ending

[23:34] theatrical

[23:36] yeah this movie was released in theaters this movie was released in theaters

[23:39] this is always what i wonder when i watch these

[23:41] uh... because i watch bad movies at home the uh... the movie was released in theaters and someone

[23:46] i'm thinking at least a thousand people

[23:49] paid anywhere from eight fifty to eleven dollars to see this film

[23:52] and how did they feel did they want to punch somebody did they

[23:56] break something on the way out what's more i think that this movie was supposed to be like

[24:00] lindsay lohan's uh...

[24:02] her maturation yeah this was going to be her transitional film from uh... your freaky fridays

[24:07] and your confessions of a high school drama queen yep to uh...

[24:13] you know adult

[24:14] pictures uh...

[24:16] not adult pictures

[24:18] that will occur later down the line in her career but this was her

[24:23] this was her growing up film that was going to show that she was an adult and adult actress

[24:28] a grown up actress who could make like a suspense thriller or an adult thriller

[24:33] it's an adult thriller right

[24:35] an erotic thriller

[24:37] but it was

[24:38] you had the same it felt even though she was playing a high school student it still felt like a kid

[24:42] playing an adult

[24:43] in the same way that say

[24:44] kate bosworth in superman returns

[24:47] feels like a high school student pretending to be who like dressed in what feels like a high school

[24:51] production of superman yeah well superman she feels it feels like it's

[24:55] uh... the character from don't tell mom the babysitter's dead

[24:58] who can walk into a fashion company why by the way guys children's clothing

[25:02] i have a favor to ask you guys

[25:04] don't tell mom the babysitter's dead

[25:06] because she's going to be pissed

[25:08] if she knew who killed me then

[25:12] she would

[25:13] she does say the phrase i know who killed me at some point in the movie

[25:17] which is great yeah i think that every movie by the way should end

[25:20] with the title

[25:22] well you had an interesting suggestion for the opening

[25:25] we didn't watch the alternate opening by the way guys and the way i'm imagining it

[25:30] is that it opens you know it's a blue screen

[25:33] blue screen and you hear a heartbeat on one of those like

[25:37] what the things like EKG

[25:39] EKG i thought that was the thing that ghostbusters use

[25:42] i think they call it that also

[25:44] so the EKG thing you know beep beep beep beep and then all of a sudden the blue fades to her face

[25:50] in a hospital bed with like tubes and shit stuck in her eyes closed asleep like in a coma

[25:55] her eyes open all of a sudden

[25:56] she sits up

[25:58] and she looks right at the camera and goes i know who killed me and then the words go

[26:02] across the screen you got a guitar riff dun dun dun dun dun

[26:05] and then you know you got like a cool opening montage of her like running around from like killers

[26:09] that's my suggestion

[26:11] straight title

[26:13] slip like slam cut

[26:15] it's like MGM's 360 Productions presents

[26:18] or TriStar

[26:19] TriStar presents i know who killed me dun dun dun dun dun dun dun

[26:25] and then you know the scene starts up again

[26:26] you've got like a Bernard Herrmann

[26:28] scourge

[26:30] i wish Bernard Herrman and Saul Bass could do every title sequence for every movie

[26:34] that would have improved this movie greatly

[26:39] the movie didn't open like that

[26:40] but the alternate ending you were talking about

[26:41] well no the original ending

[26:43] so Lindsay Lohan figures out that her mom's actual child died soon after her mom gave birth

[26:53] and she was purchased from the crack

[26:56] she was like a crack baby

[26:58] purchased from some woman

[27:00] who had twins

[27:02] who had twins

[27:04] $11 was mailed to her every month by the father

[27:08] that was established

[27:10] apparently the price for a baby is $11 a month

[27:14] what the fuck

[27:16] no she was purchased as a replacement baby

[27:18] oh and there was a great story from the mother talking to Lindsay Lohan

[27:23] i guess she always thought it was her biological daughter

[27:25] talking about how in the womb

[27:27] she always kicked

[27:29] always kicking

[27:31] and she says to her you're going to kick through this problem

[27:34] she always kicked back then

[27:36] this amazing visual image of Lindsay Lohan

[27:38] literally kicking a wall down

[27:40] with her bionic leg

[27:42] she has a robot leg too by the way

[27:44] so anyway

[27:46] she discovers that she was a twin

[27:48] and she realizes

[27:50] ok what's going on is

[27:52] my twin sister has been kidnapped

[27:54] and i'm having this stigmata

[27:56] because i'm experiencing what she's experiencing

[27:58] and she goes to the

[28:00] and i'm a stripper

[28:02] she's a stripper and she's a goody two shoes

[28:04] it's like an angel

[28:06] that movie where she's a stripper by day

[28:08] schoolgirl by night

[28:10] fuck that one up

[28:12] she's a schoolgirl by day

[28:14] and a prostitute by night

[28:16] if she was a prostitute by day

[28:18] and a schoolgirl by night

[28:20] that's just the way strippers are

[28:22] they're going to school by night

[28:24] in some ways that's the Maggie Gyllenhaal movie

[28:26] cherry baby

[28:28] about an ex-con trying to better herself

[28:30] there's a movie by the way

[28:32] that says why there should be less nudity

[28:34] sometimes in films

[28:36] not sexy nudity

[28:38] cherry baby is a movie that will make you

[28:40] if you're a heterosexual male or a homosexual woman

[28:42] ashamed of ever having been

[28:44] aroused by the sight of a naked woman

[28:46] right

[28:48] the nudity in it is just so depressing

[28:50] what is it like in a prison or something

[28:52] it's just in bad context

[28:54] her down on her luck ex-con

[28:56] having sex with guys for jobs

[28:59] everyone's all filthy

[29:01] it's just very sad

[29:03] and speaking as a guy who really likes Maggie Gyllenhaal

[29:05] and thinks she's a good actress

[29:07] and thinks she's very attractive

[29:09] it's very unpleasant

[29:11] I'm not sold on this

[29:13] rent cherry baby and then try to masturbate to it

[29:15] and you won't be able to

[29:17] I bet I could

[29:19] it's a contest

[29:21] so she rushes

[29:23] she kills the guy

[29:25] she goes to dig up her sister

[29:27] with a glass, cuts his hand off with a glass knife

[29:29] then stabs him in the crotch and the neck

[29:31] which was kind of neat

[29:33] she digs up her sister in a glass coffin

[29:35] and by the way I don't think the movie ever explains the whole glass thing

[29:37] he just likes glass and the color blue

[29:39] that's all you need to know

[29:41] I guess that's it

[29:43] they never even explain why he's a killer

[29:45] he's just a crazy guy

[29:47] you don't need to dude

[29:49] like in the real world

[29:51] do you think all the crazy killers explain why they're killers

[29:53] before they get killed with a glass knife to the neck

[29:55] in the real world you don't have identical twins who are separated in birth

[29:57] who have telepathic power

[30:00] She did that shit on the internet!

[30:02] Yeah, that's true. Art Bell did do that movie about it on the internet, yeah.

[30:06] But the point, maybe the reason why everything's blue is because Aubrey is looking through her blue glass coffin.

[30:14] Ooooooh!

[30:16] I still can't explain whether her boyfriend gives her blue roses or there's a blue...

[30:21] It doesn't explain it at all.

[30:22] There's an owl.

[30:23] Has blue balls for most of the movie.

[30:24] Yeah, I have to assume.

[30:25] Hey!

[30:26] We got to the end of the movie and I was like, okay, what's going on here?

[30:29] I know what's going on.

[30:30] I know who killed me.

[30:31] What's happening is that none of this is real.

[30:35] This is like Aubrey's fantasy as she lies dying.

[30:39] It's gonna be one of these twists where like, oh, this is her mind's way of dealing with the pain.

[30:44] And she's gonna invent this sister who's gonna save her and all this stuff.

[30:48] And part of the reason I thought this is there were inexplicably a bunch of owls throughout the movie.

[30:53] I thought, oh, okay, it's an occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge.

[30:56] This is there like a movie's clumsy attempt at a literary reference.

[31:00] But then we find out that worse than that, the real alternate ending of the movie is...

[31:05] The actual ending.

[31:06] Which test audiences did not like.

[31:08] So it was the original ending.

[31:09] Right.

[31:10] The original ending was we discover at the end that this is all a story that Aubrey has been writing.

[31:15] Because we see that she's a writer.

[31:16] And at the end, she types the end of it.

[31:19] And it ends, and it doesn't even have her, it ends, it's a long shot of her typing.

[31:24] And you see the closet door behind her swing open by itself.

[31:27] And you're like, oh, and the killer jumps out and kills her while she's finishing the story.

[31:31] No, I guess there's just wind in the room.

[31:33] I like to think that's her alternate identity, Dakota Moss, leaving.

[31:37] Traveling through the trailer.

[31:40] I don't know, it's bullshit.

[31:41] But there's just this look on her face like, huh, that was a good story.

[31:45] According to Wikipedia.

[31:46] Wikipedia says, oh, this alternate ending was cut because test audiences found it too predictable.

[31:52] Rather than, this alternate ending was cut because test audiences thought it was a big fuck you.

[31:58] Well, yeah, okay.

[31:59] Before we go quite into the fuck you of it.

[32:02] I'm going to do something that I did when we were watching Saw III.

[32:05] And that's, I'm going to play the role of Aubrey Fleming, okay.

[32:09] I'm trapped in this glass coffin.

[32:10] Which I think you could do better than Lindsay Lohan.

[32:12] I appreciate that, Elliot.

[32:13] Now, okay, I imagine, like, okay, I'm getting into character.

[32:16] My hand's been chopped off.

[32:17] My foot's been chopped off.

[32:18] I'm in a weird glass coffin with a weird, like, 19th century milkmaid's dress on with a fucking veil over my face.

[32:23] I've been buried alive.

[32:24] Oh, shit, I'm going to die.

[32:25] Weird.

[32:26] Oh, man, I'm running out of air.

[32:28] Oh, wait, is that light I see?

[32:29] Like, moonlight?

[32:30] Oh, somebody's, you know, digging me out of my coffin.

[32:33] Oh, my God, the thing's open.

[32:34] Somebody let me out with their robot hand.

[32:36] Who is it?

[32:37] Oh, my God, it's my fucking twin.

[32:39] Like, somebody looks exactly like me.

[32:41] That's my twin?

[32:42] How am I going to respond?

[32:43] I'm going to smile quietly and allow her to help me out and then snuggle up to me, and that's the end of the fucking movie.

[32:51] I would say, because of telepathic links, she has been writing the story of Dakota Moss as part of her English thing,

[32:59] so maybe she thought it was like the Twilight Zone episode where the guy can write something and it comes to life,

[33:06] and he creates his own.

[33:07] It turns out his wife was in a figment.

[33:10] Like, she goes, oh, my character came to life and saved me, you know, or something.

[33:14] Or maybe she, you know, she's lost a lot of oxygen.

[33:16] Maybe she thinks she's just dreaming.

[33:17] You're saying that she thinks it's like that edition of Amazing Stories where they draw the cartoon wheels on the plane.

[33:28] Yeah.

[33:29] But, yeah, it's true.

[33:30] It was strange that she was saved by someone who looks exactly like her, and her reaction wasn't, huh?

[33:36] Instead it was.

[33:37] It's like it was spit-taking.

[33:40] Excuse me while I drink this.

[33:42] Here's some of this milk.

[33:43] It looks good on camera.

[33:45] Instead her reaction was, oh, yeah, thank you.

[33:48] It's good to see you.

[33:49] I love myself.

[33:51] Myself saved me.

[33:52] But there seems to be this understanding that she had a connection and knew Dakota existed.

[33:57] I didn't have that understanding.

[33:58] Well, I mean, I have this understanding now talking to you about it.

[34:00] Sure.

[34:01] At the time I was like, this is a shitty movie.

[34:03] That was the understanding I had.

[34:05] All right, well, we're having so much fun that this is going to end up being one of the longest podcasts ever.

[34:09] So I'm just going to encourage us to move on.

[34:13] No, Dan, let's keep going.

[34:14] I think we can get this podcast going all night.

[34:16] Let's talk about Fuck You endings.

[34:18] What a fucking bullshit ending.

[34:19] Actually, I do want to talk about that a little bit.

[34:21] Okay, let's talk about that, Dan.

[34:23] What are your thoughts?

[34:24] Really, if it had ended with the original ending where it's just something that she wrote,

[34:31] I can't imagine anything more frustrating than that.

[34:34] Being like, okay, this fictional character also wrote a work of fiction,

[34:40] but you had no way of knowing that this was a second layer of fiction at any point,

[34:44] so anything could happen, and nothing that happened made any difference.

[34:48] It was more of a Fuck You ending than if it turned out it was all a dream.

[34:52] Or John Cusack's head.

[34:54] Or we were saying when we were watching it, like the film Identity,

[34:57] in which it turns out everything is happening inside John Cusack's head because he's crazy.

[35:02] Although, actually, John Cusack is one of the personalities.

[35:04] He's not the, after the play, the crazy guy.

[35:06] What does that do with that fucking wonky eye, right?

[35:08] Yeah, yeah, he's all bald.

[35:09] It's Pruitt-Taylor-Vince.

[35:11] Thank you, IMDb.

[35:15] All these characters are just personalities fighting it out in his head.

[35:19] That's kind of a Fuck You twist, and it's really stupid,

[35:22] but it's much smarter than this would be if it was like,

[35:26] oh, remember the person we invented?

[35:28] Well, they wrote the story you watched, and it never happened.

[35:31] And that's why there are so many roles.

[35:33] She got an A.

[35:35] She got an A, if it matters.

[35:37] Actually, it would be great if it paused on her face and it said,

[35:40] Aubrey Fleming received an A-plus for the paper.

[35:43] She went on to Yale University, or something like that.

[35:46] Just like the ending of Fucking Unbreakable.

[35:48] Yeah, exactly.

[35:49] She's now the famous thriller author, Aubrey Fleming.

[35:53] You may remember her from such books as I Know Who Killed Me,

[35:56] The Person Who Killed Me Is You,

[35:58] Who Killed Me.

[35:59] I Still Know Who Killed Me.

[36:00] She later went on to write cool sexy novels under the name of Dakota Moss.

[36:05] But it's almost like the ending would have been like her mother walking up to her

[36:09] and being like, oh, Aubrey, you finished your book?

[36:11] Mom, call me by my pen name, Mary Higgins Clark.

[36:15] One of those things.

[36:17] The twist is that she was a famous person as a child.

[36:20] That would have been a more fulfilling ending.

[36:23] Instead, no.

[36:24] Pretty great.

[36:25] Lives of the Pulp Novelists.

[36:28] And then what?

[36:29] Her mom's like, who's going to play the actress in your movie?

[36:32] And she's like, Ashley Judd.

[36:34] And Morgan Freeman's going to play Dad.

[36:36] It's going to be great.

[36:37] The next scene is her on the set of Kiss the Girl.

[36:39] Although that's actually a James Patterson book, I think.

[36:42] That's where it falls apart.

[36:43] That's where our story falls apart.

[36:46] It is, man.

[36:47] The audiences don't actually give a shit.

[36:49] James Patterson, who actually looks a lot like Art Bell,

[36:51] really comes down to it.

[36:52] Comes full circle.

[36:53] Speaking of which, time to close up the circle that is this segment of the show

[36:59] with our final judgments on I Know Who Killed Me.

[37:03] And, as always, the categories are,

[37:06] is this a movie that you would not recommend to anyone?

[37:09] A movie that you thought was enjoyable because it was bad?

[37:13] A funny movie?

[37:15] Or is this a movie that you actually kind of liked?

[37:19] So, Elliot, why don't you go first?

[37:21] I would say that this is a bad movie that I would not recommend.

[37:24] It's kind of a mess.

[37:26] And it's almost like, even to make fun of a movie,

[37:29] you kind of have to have some understanding of what's going on.

[37:31] And it takes so long to figure out what's happening in this movie.

[37:34] There's so many characters who appear and then disappear.

[37:36] The FBI agents who are looking into the crime.

[37:39] The gardener.

[37:40] The actual killer who disappears into the last scene of the movie.

[37:43] Coming from someone who saw Southland Tales last week,

[37:47] this is a mess of a movie that doesn't come together.

[37:50] So I would say, although I had fun watching it, I wouldn't recommend it.

[37:54] Yeah.

[37:55] Yeah, I'm going to have to say that this movie totally sucked

[38:00] and nobody should ever have to see it.

[38:02] There's not nearly enough nudity to make this movie worthwhile.

[38:05] Although, the fact that a killer runs around with fucking blue glass weaponry

[38:10] actually makes it kind of interesting.

[38:12] I'm actually surprised because I think that this movie is a good, bad movie.

[38:19] It is so weird.

[38:20] Wait, is this a 1, 2, or 3? Which one is this?

[38:22] This is a number 2.

[38:23] Okay.

[38:24] Yeah, this is a number 2, alright.

[38:25] Woo!

[38:26] Piece of shit.

[38:30] Anyway, you were saying this before.

[38:31] The most childish joke in a long stream of childish jokes on The Flop House.

[38:37] If I had ended it with a fart noise, then it would be the most childish joke.

[38:41] No, because it's like, it really, it is so strange.

[38:45] It's like a junior version of Blue Velvet or something.

[38:51] It is like someone saw a bunch of David Lynch movies and was like,

[38:55] I'm going to make one with Lindsay Lohan.

[38:57] And it's going to be kind of like a Lindsay Lohan movie.

[39:00] But it's also going to have the weird ass, disjointed quality of a Lynch film.

[39:07] I mean, not good like a Lynch film, but if seeing a sort of junior varsity

[39:12] David Lynch movie with Lindsay Lohan sounds amusing to you, I would say go watch this movie.

[39:17] It almost feels like a bad Dario Argento movie at times.

[39:20] Yeah.

[39:21] Like very bold colors and the plot makes no sense.

[39:24] So like a normal Dario Argento movie?

[39:26] Yes, like all of the Dario Argento movies.

[39:28] If it was a Dario Argento movie, I would not be recommending it to anyone.

[39:30] I find his popularity inexplicable.

[39:33] But this was one of those confusing, poorly explained movies that if it was in French or Italian,

[39:39] I feel like people would be like, oh, this is an intriguing enigma of a film,

[39:43] when really it's just bad screenwriting all the way through.

[39:45] Look at all that blue.

[39:46] Yeah, this blue is astounding.

[39:48] The colors are rich.

[39:50] Rich colors.

[39:52] That's all we like in movies.

[39:54] Oh, the colors.

[39:56] It's like shaving.

[39:58] You know, characters appear and leave.

[40:00] as if in some sort of phantasmagoric dream, a stream-of-consciousness thriller, you know that kind of thing.

[40:05] But it's just bad. It was in another language that might have been hidden.

[40:08] Might have saved it, yeah.

[40:09] Alright, so two total non-recommendations and one qualified bad movie recommendation.

[40:16] So let's move on to actual recommendations to prove that we're not bastards who can find no joy in life at all.

[40:23] Are there any movies that we want to recommend to people?

[40:26] Are you going to raise your hands, maybe?

[40:28] Should we all recommend one?

[40:30] That's probably best.

[40:32] I went first last time, so I probably shouldn't go first.

[40:34] Okay, I'm going to take the bull by the horns, because I actually think I have a recommendation.

[40:39] Actually, it's only a kind of recommendation, but it was pretty good.

[40:42] I saw Murder Party recently, which I think is filmed in New York or Brooklyn or something.

[40:47] Not a lot of movies are filmed in New York or Brooklyn, so that's kind of a rare thing.

[40:50] Don't be an asshole, dude.

[40:52] It's possibly one of the least movie-set cities in the world.

[40:57] I was talking.

[40:59] Do you want to finish my segment?

[41:02] Basically, it's about a guy who manages to find this Halloween party invitation, and he's this totally lonely guy.

[41:11] And he has nothing to do on Halloween, so he ends up going to this party,

[41:14] and it turns out to be a party thrown by a bunch of art students who invited random people to this party

[41:20] so that they can murder them and turn them into an art piece.

[41:23] So it's kind of like a weird, I don't know, slasher movie meets The Breakfast Club or something.

[41:28] And if anything, it's worth watching because of this awesome cardboard knight costume this guy makes.

[41:34] It's really hilarious and cool.

[41:36] So, Murder Party, it's at least worth watching. It's pretty gory.

[41:40] I saw The Bedroom Window, which is one of Curtis Hansen's earliest directorial films.

[41:51] He also wrote it. I think it's an adaptation of a book. I'm not sure about that.

[41:55] But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it might be the best Steve Guttenberg film.

[42:02] I know there's a lot of competition for that title.

[42:05] You know what I'm going to argue?

[42:06] What's that? Don't Tell Her It's Me, a.k.a. Boyfriend School?

[42:10] Yeah, that movie rocks.

[42:12] I was going to say Zeus and Roxanne.

[42:14] It proved a dog could love a seal.

[42:16] Zeus and Roxanne doesn't have Steve Guttenberg pretending to be a New Zealand Lothario.

[42:23] Lobo Moringa.

[42:25] With Shelly Long, too.

[42:28] And Anne Shonamick and Kyle MacLachlan and Jamie Girtz.

[42:31] That is a pretty good movie.

[42:35] Fuck it, if someone wants to see a bad movie that they'll have a bunt on watching, go out and watch Don't Tell Her It's Me.

[42:44] But if you want to see a movie that's actually kind of good that stars Steve Guttenberg.

[42:49] Maybe like 1981 when they thought that Steve Guttenberg and Isabel Huppert would be a believable pair.

[42:56] It's a movie about a guy having an affair with his boss's wife.

[43:01] They just had sex and Steve Guttenberg's out of the room and the woman hears another woman being assaulted downstairs.

[43:12] Elizabeth McGovern is getting attacked and the killer gets frightened away, but he's witnessed by Isabel Huppert.

[43:22] But because they're having an affair, she doesn't want to come forward and point the finger at the actual killer.

[43:28] So Steve Guttenberg's character says, no, it's alright, I will pretend to be the eyewitness.

[43:33] I will take your information and I'll take it to the police.

[43:36] And predictably, everything goes wrong in a very Hitchcockian thriller fashion.

[43:41] And for a movie, again, starring Steve Guttenberg, a nice forgotten thriller of the early 80s.

[43:49] I don't know when I'll be back, so if I can make two quick recommendations.

[43:54] These are both for older movies.

[43:56] One is the Japanese horror film Gokei Blob From Hell, which I don't know if anyone's seen.

[44:01] But it's about a plane crashes and it turns out that there's an alien blob that is taking over people's bodies and turning them into vampire type things.

[44:09] And it has possibly the bleakest ending that I may have ever seen in a movie.

[44:15] And there are some great scenes where people's heads crack open and the blob crawls out.

[44:20] But it's pretty good.

[44:22] And the other one is a classier movie from the 30s.

[44:26] I'm a Fugitive from a Chain Gang with Paul Muni, which I watched recently for the first time.

[44:31] And which is a really gritty, kind of tense, frightening movie at times.

[44:36] And there's a scene where he escapes from the chain gang and becomes the titular fugitive.

[44:42] It's a genuinely super tense scene where he's running away from these guards.

[44:46] And you're like, hurry up, they're gonna catch you! What are you doing?

[44:49] That kind of a scene.

[44:52] The plot does hinge on him making possibly the dumbest choice that a character could ever make, though.

[44:57] Which is to trust the Georgia penal system that they'll keep their word and let him out after 90 days if he returns to the chain gang.

[45:07] Which, of course, once he does, they refuse to do.

[45:10] That's a pretty great movie.

[45:12] It's pretty good.

[45:13] So, everyone. Everyone being the two of you. And me.

[45:17] Sure.

[45:18] We had a good time tonight.

[45:19] We had some laughs.

[45:20] But everything needs to come to an end.

[45:23] We don't really know what movie we're gonna do next, I guess.

[45:27] Or when it's gonna come out, because I think that this is gonna come out and then there's gonna be the holidays.

[45:31] Oh yeah.

[45:32] So a special holiday edition.

[45:34] Well, there's maybe a little delay.

[45:36] Maybe the new year before there's a new episode.

[45:39] I mean, there probably will be the new year before there's a new episode, but there may only be one in January.

[45:43] I'm not sure how that's gonna work out.

[45:46] I want to remind everyone, as always, that the website is theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com

[45:53] And the email address is theflophousepodcast at gmail.com

[45:58] So if you want to check out, share notes, or write us a review, which helps us get new listeners, or just write us, that's how you do it.

[46:06] Pretty nerdy.

[46:07] Sounds like good shit.

[46:09] So, I guess we can sign off.

[46:11] I guess you gotta go do your Flophouse podcast, because if not, I think it's a porno site, right?

[46:14] Yeah. If you just do theflophouse.blogspot.com, it's like this weird half-blog, half-like-I'm-gonna-direct-you-to-porno site.

[46:23] It sounds like such a disappointing name for a porno site.

[46:26] It's like, the most flaccidest porn on the web, the Flophouse!

[46:30] The drunkest girls you can imagine lying on dirty cots.

[46:34] These guys just can't get it up. The Flophouse.

[46:39] Well, that was our original slogan.

[46:43] As always, we're sort of petering out with a whimper.

[46:49] Supposedly we should sign off, huh?

[46:50] Yeah, why not? I don't want to see that UA Bowl movie really bad.

[46:53] Alright, well, we may see that UA Bowl movie.

[46:56] We can do a special In Theaters edition.

[46:59] Flophouse in the aisles.

[47:00] So they can show up in theaters.

[47:03] Alright.

[47:04] Oh, check out this one with the big ideas.

[47:07] I guess I'll put the extra money into actually seeing a bad movie in the theater.

[47:11] Dude, I'll even buy the tickets.

[47:13] Because that's all I want to see, that shit.

[47:15] Daddy Warbucks.

[47:16] Alright, well, in that case, maybe we'll talk about that next time.

[47:20] And, uh, I'll sign off. My name's Dan McCoy.

[47:23] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[47:24] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[47:25] Good night.

[47:28] Uh, bye? Okay, cool.

[47:31] They're gone, right? Okay, good.

[47:33] I fucking hated those guys.

[47:37] Dan, every time I look at this potholder, I think it's a piece of matzo.

[47:42] That's just your, uh...

[47:43] That's just my Jewish instincts coming out.

[47:45] That's weird. Every time I look at a piece of matzo, I think it's a, uh...

[47:50] Potholder.

[47:52] Whatever that is.

[47:54] I was walking with my friend Frank last night, and he got, like, a free menorah.

[47:57] Yeah, I dodged one of those.

[48:00] I was like, man, the Jews are on point this holiday season.

[48:06] I don't get, like, free Advent calendars being handed out to me.

The Flop House: Episode 8 - I Know Who Killed Me

Transcript

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