The Flop House: Episode Ten - Good Luck Chuck

[0:00] Tonight on The Flophouse, we discuss Good Luck Chuck, the horrifying tale of women inexorably drawn to have sex with Dane Cook.

[0:31] Welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Willington. My name's Rich Duncan. Fuck you, Dan McCoy.

[0:41] Yeah, Rich is a little bitter that I've enlisted him because he really didn't like Good Luck Chuck, but let's give a little introduction to this week's guest host.

[0:49] Rich, a stand-up comedian of many years, a writer for TV and radio, former editor-in-chief for Just Magazine, New York City's only and best humor magazine for a while there.

[1:09] Let's stretch my credits out as much as we can.

[1:12] Sure. Well, we've got some time to fill.

[1:15] Thank you. It's good to be here. I'm happy to be here. It's been, if I had to watch this wretched fucking abortion of a movie with anybody, with you two guys, it's actually, there have been some laughs in that it has been, actually it was awful. Fuck you.

[1:31] Right, but there, yeah, let's, you don't want to spoil the podcast.

[1:36] I want to start out by saying.

[1:38] We didn't like a movie on The Flophouse, but maybe this one will be good.

[1:42] It's become fashionable among stand-up comedians to badmouth Dane Cook.

[1:48] Sure.

[1:49] Now, Rich, you are a stand-up comedian. Would you like to jump on that train?

[1:54] Well, I kind of, I would, I would like to jump on that train a little bit. I don't think Dane Cook is a good stand-up.

[2:04] I think he's an able stand-up. I'm not going to jump on the train and be one of those guys that says he's awful because he's successful.

[2:12] I admire the guy's success. I think he works hard. He's got a tremendous work ethic. The way he promoted himself is great.

[2:17] I think he found himself to be promoted beyond his skill set a little too soon.

[2:23] He doesn't have a lot of energy. I see him running around on stage.

[2:27] Well, here's what bothers me about this movie in particular. Should we get into, do you want to talk about Dane Cook still?

[2:31] Yeah, let's get right into the movie.

[2:33] Okay.

[2:34] Dig in.

[2:35] The thing that bothers me about Dane Cook in this movie is he is poor in it.

[2:39] Alright, he's not, he's not, he does not do a very good.

[2:41] You're saying he's not good.

[2:42] He's not good.

[2:43] He doesn't have a lot of money.

[2:46] His character has a tremendous amount of money, which is never really explained and we can get deeper into that.

[2:52] But he does not do a great job in the movie comedically.

[2:56] However, the movie is also directed so poorly that on the several occasions when he does something where you go,

[3:04] Hey, that might not be my cup of tea, but that was a good piece of physical comedy.

[3:08] The director then cuts away from it, which means that not only does he suck,

[3:12] but he can watch the movie and go, see, they ruined it, and he's right.

[3:16] Right, well, I, you know, the movie does lay there lifeless on the screen.

[3:20] I looked up the director.

[3:22] Is that a direct quote from another review?

[3:24] That was Jonathan Rosenbaum of the Chicago Reader.

[3:27] Lays there lifeless on the screen.

[3:29] But, no, I looked up the director. This is his first feature film.

[3:33] That's a big shocker.

[3:34] You don't say.

[3:36] Before that, though, he was an editor of some note.

[3:38] Probably his best credit that I saw was he edited Predator.

[3:42] He edited Predator.

[3:43] That's a well-edited film.

[3:44] Yeah. He edited a lot of not-good movies.

[3:47] That's a great intro.

[3:48] Including Striking Distance.

[3:50] Can you imagine, for a while, I think that's probably an intro to quite a few movie circles,

[3:56] and women just got a nice rhyme to it, much like Good Luck Chuck.

[3:59] Hi, I'm the editor of Predator.

[4:02] I'm the Predator editor, I think is probably the...

[4:05] I'm Predator's editor.

[4:07] People like things that rhyme.

[4:10] That's what we learned from Good Luck Chuck.

[4:12] It's also, I mean, I don't know if I want to talk about this immediately,

[4:16] but I think this movie is kind of like the nail in the coffin of Hollywood's use of the name Chuck as a comedic name.

[4:24] Chuck or K-Sound, in general.

[4:26] Specifically, it seems like Chuck...

[4:28] Hey, K-Sound, oftentimes, is very funny.

[4:30] Yeah, but Chuck, in particular, has become popular.

[4:34] For instance, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry?

[4:37] Yeah.

[4:38] The NBC television show, Chuck.

[4:41] That one didn't occur to me first.

[4:43] No, you went to Chuck and Larry.

[4:44] We were talking about Chuck.

[4:45] Well, but that's the funny thing.

[4:46] I was going to say, my wife was chatting with me on the internet, perhaps you've heard of it,

[4:51] and she was saying, what movie are we going to watch for Clubhouse?

[4:55] And I said, we're going to watch Good Luck Chuck.

[4:58] And she's like, is that the one with Jessica Alba, where she has a really hot body?

[5:02] And I said, yes, but I think that actually, based on our last Clubhouse,

[5:07] you're thinking of, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, with Jessica Biel,

[5:11] who we talked about having an attractive figure.

[5:15] Also has the name Jessica.

[5:17] Yeah, exactly.

[5:18] So, yeah, similarities.

[5:19] Chuck is in the title of both films.

[5:21] I can see how she would make that confusion.

[5:24] Also, unfunny sex farces.

[5:29] I mean, I can't say that.

[5:31] I haven't actually seen that movie.

[5:32] I've seen the trailer.

[5:33] I talked to Frank Lesser, who wasn't pleased with it.

[5:37] Pleased with the trailer of the actual film.

[5:40] Yeah, he actually saw I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.

[5:43] The gay panic film.

[5:45] Apparently it's written by the guys who did Sideways and Alexander Payne.

[5:51] Alexander Payne wrote the first draft of I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.

[5:55] Which made her kind of want to see it.

[5:57] I assume, though, since then it was 80% Sandlerized.

[6:04] Sure.

[6:05] They put it through the Sandler machine.

[6:07] Yep, the little wiki machine.

[6:11] Like, we need to get that guy from King of Queens in here somehow.

[6:15] And Hitch.

[6:16] Yeah.

[6:17] Oh, he was a delight in Hitch, dancing like a white man.

[6:22] You were talking about Chuck, the name Chuck.

[6:24] I don't think it's funny.

[6:26] I don't find anything humorous about it.

[6:28] It does rhyme with fuck.

[6:29] We were talking about rhyming for the bucket list.

[6:33] That's true.

[6:34] That sort of sounds like...

[6:35] The bucket?

[6:36] Chuck?

[6:37] Similar.

[6:38] The chucket list?

[6:39] The thing is that...

[6:40] How are the Chuck?

[6:42] I was at least hoping that this movie would have at least one scene where somebody says,

[6:48] Good luck, Chuck.

[6:50] Because at least I could be like, Yay, they said the title.

[6:52] They'd never call him Chuck again.

[6:54] It's Charlie every time.

[6:56] His fucking horndog buddy doesn't even call him Chuck at all.

[7:01] That is the opposite of good night and good luck.

[7:04] That's true.

[7:05] If we could somehow have good night and good luck Chuck, that would be fantastic.

[7:09] Or every woman Edward R. Murrow sleeps with goes on to get married.

[7:13] I also...

[7:14] I don't know if you realize this is a piece of...

[7:16] We cannot defend freedom at home.

[7:18] Abroad, by defending it at home.

[7:20] SFX, fart noise.

[7:25] That Edward R. Murrow joke constitutes the entirety of my written material on this podcast.

[7:32] Speaking of stand-up, Rich has whipped out his little notebook.

[7:35] His little stand-up's notebook.

[7:39] I also have written the words, I don't know how it's going to tie in, Uncle Buck.

[7:46] We'll have to wait for that one.

[7:47] It's like a little time bomb.

[7:50] Funny movie, Uncle Buck.

[7:51] I think that Good Luck Chuck is a sort of esoteric play on the idea of a good luck fuck.

[7:58] Which...

[8:00] You know what, that didn't even occur to me.

[8:02] You're absolutely right.

[8:03] The premise of this movie...

[8:05] I want Edward R. Murrow immediately.

[8:08] The premise of this movie was literally expressed at least nine times within the film.

[8:13] They would continually reiterate what the premise is, which is

[8:16] Dane Cook has sex with a woman

[8:18] and then that woman goes on to immediately thereafter meet the love of her life.

[8:23] And get married.

[8:25] Right. Which leads to a run on Dane Cook's wang.

[8:29] Yeah.

[8:31] Leads to a sex montage.

[8:32] Yeah.

[8:33] A really explicit sex montage.

[8:36] But more than one.

[8:37] Like they kind of...

[8:38] The message is delivered and then he has sex with a bunch of women

[8:41] and then it's delivered again and there's another montage and it's...

[8:44] Well all I know is that Dane Cook was having sex in a lot of different ways.

[8:48] He was having sex in a sex swing.

[8:50] He was having sex with the woman's legs over her head.

[8:54] In the shower.

[8:55] Yeah. A lot more positions than you normally would see in an R-rated comedy.

[8:59] And also, lots of boobs.

[9:01] Yeah.

[9:02] I mean a lot of times you'll get...

[9:03] Like even in Wedding Crashers where they do have a little bit of a montage

[9:06] of topless women kind of hitting the sheets.

[9:09] Well you know what, in the name of good taste, once you've gotten the idea

[9:12] especially if it's a comedy,

[9:14] I mean the movie opens with a tremendously gratuitous topless scene.

[9:18] Well and we did watch the unrated DVD cut.

[9:21] I have no idea what the theatrical cut of Good Luck Chuck was.

[9:25] I have to express that.

[9:27] Did the unrated cut have artwork on the front of a woman wearing a bikini bottle

[9:32] just naked from the back with her top open?

[9:35] Right.

[9:36] Or from the front and the word unrated was across her chest.

[9:40] I was hoping like some kind of a cartoon animal wearing sunglasses giving the thumbs up.

[9:46] Maybe an anteater.

[9:49] A penguin.

[9:50] A penguin should have been a penguin.

[9:52] But what I would say about that is like if this was 1995

[9:57] Sure.

[9:58] And someone was asking me like...

[9:59] I'm answering that.

[10:00] Can you recommend Good Luck Chuck to me in any way?

[10:03] I would say, well, the one way I could recommend Good Luck Chuck to you is it's an...

[10:07] Assuming that Good Luck Chuck was made in 1995.

[10:10] ...was made in 1995. I'd be like, one thing I could recommend to you, it's an unrepentant, R-rated comedy.

[10:16] There's a lot of nudity in it, and it's definitely like an R-rated sex comedy.

[10:21] It's not a good one, but, you know, back in the 90s, all the comedies were like,

[10:26] David Spade is in a PG-13 film, you know.

[10:30] Whereas now, we have, like, Judd Apatow movies, or we have, you know, Wedding Crashers,

[10:37] which is about, you know, one half of a good comedy.

[10:40] You know, it's not great all the way through, but it's got some good stuff in it.

[10:42] And those are old-style, Animal House-style, R-rated comedies.

[10:47] So this is, to comedy, what, say, like, an Eli Roth horror movie would be to horror?

[10:56] Or a bad Eli Roth movie. Eli Roth has done some good horror movies, but when he goes over the top,

[11:00] and it's just sort of splattery, it is extreme, and I feel like we came out of a horror era,

[11:04] with The Scream, and the Kevin Williamson, and a lot of that, where...

[11:07] I would go further.

[11:08] ...exploitation without exploitation.

[11:09] I'd say more like a Saw movie.

[11:12] Yeah, okay.

[11:12] Like, Eli Roth, at least he's, like, an auteur. Like, you're like, oh, I can see...

[11:17] Eli Roth is the guiding hand behind this film, rather than...

[11:20] I'm coming off a bad Hostel 2 experience.

[11:23] Okay. Well, we'll talk about that after the podcast.

[11:27] Now, on the subject of comedies, like, I don't think I'm going to be surprising anybody to say that this is a shitty movie.

[11:33] Like, this is a shitty comedy.

[11:35] That's a point I would like to bring up, just briefly.

[11:38] Yeah, sure.

[11:39] Do we expect our audience to have seen Good Luck Chuck?

[11:42] I don't know.

[11:43] And sit through it, and then...

[11:45] If they had, they certainly wouldn't enjoy the podcast.

[11:48] If they went out willingly to see Good Luck Chuck, they probably wouldn't enjoy this podcast,

[11:56] which is really sort of shooting ourselves in the foot, audience-wise.

[11:59] But maybe if they've enjoyed the podcast in the past, they would say,

[12:03] they're going to be doing Good Luck Chuck, I want to watch Good Luck Chuck,

[12:05] and then hear what the fellas want to say.

[12:06] Yeah, maybe they want to watch it, and then pretend like they're in the room with us,

[12:10] and, like, get a couple laughs, and be like, oh, good zinger, Dan, you're a funny guy.

[12:14] This shit is the silver lining.

[12:16] If you want to imagine what that might be like, by the way,

[12:20] imagine three guys drinking heavily, and maybe Stewart exposes himself at some point during the evening.

[12:27] If I'll remember to.

[12:29] But, as I was saying, okay, Good Luck Chuck is a shitty comedy, okay?

[12:33] It's a shitty, bad movie.

[12:35] But the question is, even though it is so horribly inept,

[12:39] is it worse or better than this fucking stream of shitty spoof comedies

[12:48] that come out once a year right after Christmas?

[12:51] Like, not another teen movie, epic movie, your date movie.

[12:56] Now, I'm just going to, I actually have to claim ignorance.

[13:00] I exclusively am familiar with these movies through the trailers.

[13:03] I actually have not watched them.

[13:05] Well, I have to say, you know, Date Movie was on HBO.

[13:09] Okay.

[13:10] I love Alison Hannigan.

[13:12] Sure.

[13:12] I'm a Buffy fan.

[13:14] I like her new show, How I Met Your Mother.

[13:18] I like Alison Hannigan.

[13:19] You're going further out on the thin ice, but I'm still with you.

[13:21] I think she's cute.

[13:22] She is.

[13:23] And I was like, I would like to see Alison Hannigan in a starring role.

[13:27] She never gets to star in a movie, and that's probably why she accepted the role in Date Movie.

[13:31] She's like, you know what?

[13:33] Not a lot of screenplays are coming my way where I get to play the lead.

[13:36] Sure, I'll be in Date Movie.

[13:38] I literally could make it through five minutes of the film, and I had to turn it off.

[13:44] It made me so upset.

[13:46] Did it make you upset because the movie sucked, or because you liked Alison Hannigan

[13:50] and you didn't want to see her humiliating herself?

[13:52] I think the second is a lesser concern.

[13:54] It was part of it, but it was just so terrible.

[13:56] Five minutes?

[13:57] Five minutes.

[13:58] This is a rapid gag movie, too, isn't it?

[14:01] It would like to be a rapid gag movie.

[14:03] I didn't see it.

[14:04] It's all fat-suit and reference-based, though.

[14:07] Is it one of those movies that when you're watching it, you're watching it by yourself,

[14:12] and you start looking around trying to make sure no one else knows you're watching this movie?

[14:17] It's so bad, you're like...

[14:18] I'm not on the subway while watching this movie, Stu.

[14:21] That's the thing.

[14:22] If I'm in a hotel room or at home, and I put on a movie that's that bad, that abysmally bad,

[14:29] and it's off to the comedy, like when I was watching TomCats, for God's sake,

[14:35] I start looking around and I start hoping that there's no record that I'm watching this,

[14:39] so that fucking years down the line, I'll be at a date and I'll be trying to get in good with my date,

[14:45] or with her family, maybe.

[14:47] I meet her family for the first time.

[14:49] Maybe I'm in love with her like Chuck is with Jessica Alba's character.

[14:53] It's time.

[14:55] And I really want to sell the moment.

[14:57] And then somebody's like, but I found out you watched TomCats.

[15:01] I bet you laughed at least once.

[15:03] It's one of those movies that is so bad, you're like, I can't believe I'm doing this.

[15:09] Let's get in more specifically with Chuck.

[15:12] TomCats, by the way, is a good example of a 1990s movie that you would think should be R-rated.

[15:18] You would think that that's like a 1980s block.

[15:20] Extreme language and nudity, and there's nothing in it.

[15:23] No.

[15:24] So it doesn't even work on that USA Up All Night level.

[15:26] Yeah.

[15:27] But the thing about this movie, for a podcast hosted by a couple of guys,

[15:31] we talk about women in movies frequently.

[15:34] We talk about attractive women, or whether even like,

[15:38] oh, there's a nude scene in this movie, fellows.

[15:41] You might enjoy to see that.

[15:43] Fast forward to exactly 34 minutes in.

[15:46] However, this is the most offensive movie with regards to women.

[15:51] The most upsetting movie.

[15:53] For me, that's the thing that kills the comedy of this movie the most.

[15:57] The premise is, okay, Chuck has sex with these women,

[16:01] then they go on to find love.

[16:03] A bunch of women line up and they're like,

[16:05] you know what, I'm willing to prostitute myself to you, Chuck, one night

[16:10] if that means that I'm going to go on to find true love.

[16:15] Of course, all that women care about is that they might get married.

[16:18] They say that at one point.

[16:20] That's the thing that's a huge problem with the movie.

[16:22] It's not that I find it offensive to women.

[16:26] I mean, it is offensive to women.

[16:28] But it just doesn't...

[16:30] Believe me, I love a good exploitation movie.

[16:33] Sure.

[16:34] But it has to have the courage of its lack of conviction.

[16:37] Exactly.

[16:38] And if it will go ahead and say,

[16:40] I'm going to be a Russ Meyer movie and fly that flag high

[16:44] and this is going to be absolutely ridiculous

[16:47] I'm not going to get into too much of the plots

[16:49] of different Russ Meyer movies that I enjoy and why.

[16:52] But this movie, it claims to be something that it's not.

[16:57] And it's that disingenuousness that offends me more.

[17:01] Right, it makes a hard left turn

[17:04] about half the way into the movie

[17:06] and starts trying to tug at your heart strings.

[17:09] And you're like, wait, do I have to...

[17:11] Am I to forget that this movie started out

[17:14] with a woman giving Chuck a blowjob on the beach

[17:18] and there was a long topless scene?

[17:20] And it's a bad blowjob.

[17:22] And you're supposed to sympathize and be like,

[17:24] hey guys, we've all been there before, you know?

[17:27] You know when that hot girl's giving you a bad blowjob?

[17:30] Yeah.

[17:31] It's upsetting.

[17:33] Now, one of the things...

[17:35] And this is actually a whole bunch of points rolled into one.

[17:38] But there are a couple things that I think we need to touch on.

[17:41] One is the central relationship between...

[17:44] You have Chuck on one side,

[17:46] who's like this fucking ultimate perfect dude.

[17:48] He's super nice.

[17:50] He has a fucking million dollars or whatever.

[17:53] The blowjob scene breaks up with her

[17:55] because she says she loves him too early.

[17:58] Does that make sense?

[17:59] He cares about love.

[18:01] He won't say that he loves somebody if he doesn't mean it.

[18:03] Right.

[18:04] And then his good buddy played perfectly, to a T,

[18:08] by fucking Dan Fogelberg,

[18:11] the ultimate sleazy horndog

[18:13] who, at least once on camera,

[18:17] has sex with a grapefruit.

[18:19] More than once.

[18:20] More than once.

[18:21] My mistake.

[18:22] Once, while stimulating his own prostate

[18:25] with a potato scrubber.

[18:28] Looked like it was his thumb.

[18:30] They cleaned it up, I think, with a potato scrubber.

[18:32] So we have these two friends here.

[18:34] So we have the horndog friend and we have our hero.

[18:37] Now, I first want to examine the hero

[18:39] because the thing is,

[18:41] I don't know if the writers realized

[18:43] that in comedy you don't want to have the perfect guy.

[18:46] The only reason this guy's relationships weren't working

[18:49] was because of fucking magic.

[18:51] A fucking magic spell casts on him

[18:54] in the first ten minutes of the movie

[18:56] when this fucking little girl tries to rape this little boy.

[18:59] Let's take a brief moment out

[19:01] to say that the movie starts out

[19:03] with a flashback scene

[19:05] to show that they're playing

[19:07] Spin the Bottle, like Seven Men's in Heaven sort of thing

[19:10] and this goth girl.

[19:12] There are a lot of goth girls around in the 80s.

[19:14] By the way, brought to you by Mountain Dew.

[19:16] They had a very clear point

[19:18] of having it be a Mountain Dew bottle

[19:20] that they were spinning.

[19:21] And I guarantee you, Mountain Dew was like,

[19:23] yes, this pseudo-pedophilia...

[19:25] Well, and the most sexually voracious

[19:28] and aggressive 13-year-old girl in history.

[19:32] 13? Charitable.

[19:34] ...tries to rape Chuck.

[19:37] And then when he's not interested in it

[19:39] she puts a curse on him

[19:41] and we're to believe that that's why

[19:43] he has all these problems in the future.

[19:45] Now, when I was 13, I almost got raped

[19:47] by 13-year-old girls a lot.

[19:49] Now, that's pretty common, but you know what?

[19:51] They never were able to cast magical spells on me, dude.

[19:54] Well, they weren't goth.

[19:56] Oh, fuck, right.

[19:58] Or Wiccans. Wiccans also have that power.

[20:00] See I was I was more selective in the crowd I hung out and she was wearing a pentagram necklace

[20:06] Then later in the movie when he tracked her down 25 years later

[20:10] The daughter was wearing the exact same necklace

[20:15] Which is how they were able to we're enough that and that daughter also seemed to have a desire to see Dane Cook's penis

[20:23] So I think part of it is like this weird like it's like a cursed necklace almost

[20:28] Cursed to do I would like to see the story

[20:36] But you were saying that you expect like the hero in a comedy I think to be a little more flawed

[20:42] Other than to be really like gesture heavy and have a bad complexion

[20:49] So not be Dane Cook is what you're saying

[20:51] Yeah, you take there's something about Mary for example

[20:54] Which I think is the model that all these kind of comedies are based on you've got a guy that

[20:59] Is genuinely?

[21:01] Awkward with women and right you know what like basically like a bit of a stalker

[21:05] Yeah, absolutely, and I feel like you know the thing is I try to analyze this movie, and I just get so fucking angry

[21:13] Your voice modulates a lot when you get mad like

[21:18] But on the other on the other hand we got his friend

[21:21] It's like they took booger and they took everything on a like they like ramped up everything unappealing about him like booger was like a

[21:28] Horny best friend with like character. Yeah

[21:32] Yeah, well also they left it to the best friend over and over and over again to present the premise of the movie

[21:38] Which was this is the truth of the movie yet?

[21:40] They tried to get laughs from the fact that this guy was such a scumbag

[21:44] Oh, yeah, therefore if the guy is such a scumbag

[21:48] That would mean that other he says things that routinely are not true

[21:51] Which is why they're funny and also you can tell not true. They're evil. They're wrong. That's why we laugh sure you can tell

[21:57] There's a scumbag the honest premise of the magical film. Yeah, you're off on the wrong foot

[22:03] I guess what I'm saying is good luck Chuck is a flawed film. Yeah

[22:08] you can tell that he's a scumbag by the way because he is a

[22:13] Cosmetic surgeon who specializes in giving a boob job, but that's not yes

[22:17] I guess gynecologist wasn't available for his movie job

[22:22] So they had to go with boob job or introducing him as an adult for the first time and having a candle spill all over

[22:29] Dane Cook's crotch and his first reaction is it looks like come it looks like come

[22:37] Yeah, I'm actually

[22:39] That was I think one of two times that I actually genuinely laughed during this

[22:45] That's tremendously unfunny, okay

[22:48] What what I'm saying is if that is not enough evidence

[22:52] This guy is a certain level of juvenile

[22:56] You have to also back that up be like oh, and what well, what do you do for a living? I make boobies

[23:03] Well also

[23:07] We're introduced to the guy the first time by the way in that original flashback scene

[23:12] Because as you know from your own lives clearly rich

[23:16] You know the people that you were friends with when you were 13. You're still best friends with now

[23:19] That's just the way it works. Yeah, that's the way it works in life

[23:24] Even if that person is completely sleazy, and you're the ultimate nice guy

[23:28] And they work right across the hall from each other too, yeah

[23:32] The better for hygiene so I probably went to college together to maybe their roommates right out of college

[23:39] That's just the way life

[23:40] That's why life goes with best friends the only way that this

[23:44] Their relationship would work in this movie would be if this was the movie version of a sitcom that had been going on for 25

[23:52] Years where the characters miraculously go to college together, and you just go all right look. It's the show

[23:57] Well, I would buy the whole thing if at the end of the movie the big reveal was that they were in love with each

[24:02] other

[24:03] But they've just been

[24:07] There's a lot of

[24:10] What I don't get us wrong if it was a gay movie it would probably be a much better movie. I mean you get to see

[24:18] Dane Cook's nicely shaven chest a lot

[24:22] once again

[24:23] Perfect guy his buddy seems really interested in watching a sex tape

[24:28] Featuring him he marries a woman that his best friend boomed

[24:32] Yeah, in order to like take advantage of this thing who by the way has yet has three tits

[24:38] So therefore he loves the tits so much right yeah

[24:43] There's that moment the horndog friend marries the stripper from Total Recall basically

[24:47] And you know what I think that moment when he suggests that he could give Dane Cook's character tits the Charlie character

[24:53] I think that's the most honest. He's being because in many ways he wishes he could give him breasts. Yeah

[25:00] Because we combining his two favorite things his friend Charlie and breasts you know to continue

[25:05] Listing the way this movie is has an offensive view of sex and in particular women main characters from

[25:12] Nice

[25:13] There's the there's the scene where Dane Cook's

[25:17] Sassy black secretary who by the way is a an overweight woman

[25:23] comes to Dane Cook and begs him to have sex with her so she can meet the man of her dreams and

[25:32] Dane Cook because he's a nice guy

[25:35] goes through with it because

[25:38] You know guys

[25:39] Fat people need charity bucks. That's basically the

[25:43] Message of good luck Chuck things that every once in a while not always

[25:48] But every once in a while really fat people

[25:52] Actually like they're actually beautiful on the inside

[25:55] Rarely as also in later on this movie. We discovered that this horribly fat woman

[26:01] Also is kind of mean and a really bad eater and flatulent flatulent. Yep

[26:06] Manners yeah, I mean that woman didn't deserve the cherry fuck because she

[26:12] Despite her outer horribleness. There's no inner goodness. Ah just goes to show you never know what's inside

[26:19] Exactly it takes a charity fuck

[26:22] But so the term good luck fucking exists. I don't know does it sounds right doesn't it?

[26:29] Before you get married we're just subliminally

[26:33] That it seemed to ring true to me

[26:35] I mean if you recall the the

[26:38] Advertisement for this movie. It was a lot of like Jessica Alba eating ice cream cones. You know

[26:46] No, I wanted to get into that speaking of people who were

[26:51] Speaking of characters are beautiful on the outside and the inside

[26:55] Jessica Alba's character by the way my joke there. That was probably about as good as Dan Vogelberg's

[27:01] Oh

[27:04] Jessica Alba

[27:06] Yeah, you know she hadn't she hasn't been in a lot of comedies, right?

[27:09] What was that that deep sea diving?

[27:12] Any yeah, oh

[27:15] Shoot it was a that wasn't a comedy though. It's the blue that wasn't

[27:21] Blue crush was the Kate Bosworth surfing film about a bunch of surfing girls

[27:27] So not moving we're talking about that movie. I'm talking about I was just making sure we put that on buddy. Yeah

[27:33] It's a better movie. I've seen it. It's better. You're right, and it sucks

[27:39] Jessica Alba

[27:41] She's clumsy that's one thing I learned from this movie her characters clumsy. Yeah, but she's not clumsy

[27:47] It's a bad acting job like she has several

[27:51] Spectacular stage

[27:53] Moments I gotta say it remains graceful throughout the movie. I don't think Jessica Alba's funny in this movie

[27:58] I still think she's funnier than Dane Cook, and I'll tell you one thing we watched mr.

[28:03] Brooks, this is this is the second time that a actor has reoccurred on the flop house Dane Cook was in mr.

[28:09] Brooks

[28:10] I'll go ahead and say Dane Cook was better as a dramatic actor

[28:14] Then as a comic actor in this film, and he's a professional comedian so Jessica Alba

[28:20] A lot of times professional stand-up comedians don't translate well

[28:24] No, there's a trip. You know it's a certain a lot of terrible Richard Pryor movies

[28:28] And you know I'm you know I'm not saying that Dane Cook is not a fucking awful comedian

[28:34] But it's you know, but I do actually totally agree with you, dude. Yeah

[28:40] And Jessica Alba not funny really at all

[28:43] But yeah, like she she tries. I guess kind of cheap. She makes you smile. She's game

[28:49] Yes, yeah

[28:51] She'll fall. She'll let she'll she'll you know trip over a penguin or two which by the way

[28:56] Let's let's mention that her job after you know falling on the heels of next where Jessica Beale

[29:03] Played a woman who taught Native American children at the bottom of the Grand Canyon

[29:09] Well, yes, yeah, yes, yes, that was her during the movie. That was her job. I was referencing in the movie

[29:15] That was literally her job in the movie we have another bullshit movie job where I don't know about life how to smile

[29:25] But Jessica Alba in this movie is a

[29:28] You know a penguin technician at the zoo. I don't have technician. It's really the word, but

[29:37] No, it's exactly that unprofessional right, but come on. I mean like that is that is a there's a screenwriters

[29:45] You know invention like oh, we've got a lovable

[29:48] You know our female love interest has to have something cute that she does right she works with penguins at the zoo

[29:54] But also on the heels of March of the Penguins and a million. Yeah, one movies. What's hot on March?

[30:00] marketable right now. Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, and Penguins. How can we go wrong?

[30:05] It's like the scene in Back to School, which by the way is a hilarious movie.

[30:09] It's a hilarious movie. The one scene in it that doesn't work, and it makes no sense.

[30:14] It's a scene where Rodney Dangerfield has to do a science project, and it's Rodney in a science classroom

[30:20] wearing a lab coat with three chimps. And it's clearly not written, and the writers clearly were like,

[30:27] we're just going to put Rodney Dangerfield in a room with three chimps. How can this go wrong?

[30:33] And I'm 100% behind them. I feel like that's inexplicable. It's the great comic miracle that that did not work.

[30:41] And I feel like this is the opposite of that, where they said, what is going to be foolproof?

[30:47] Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, fuck it, Penguins.

[30:50] I also want to point out that this came on the heels of Bob Saget's hit Farce of the Penguins.

[30:57] That's what I'm saying. Again, March of the Penguins. You put a penguin in a movie,

[31:00] some idiot was going to give you some money. It's a first-time director.

[31:04] Yeah, there's those two moments. I mean, I think the penguins do get a few more laughs than our leads.

[31:10] I mean, there is the bit where Roger Ebert brings up the point where the penguin actually bites

[31:16] Dane Cook's character on the crotch.

[31:18] I would say directly on the penis.

[31:20] Directly on his penis.

[31:22] Perhaps thinking that it's a herring.

[31:25] A herring? Oh, no, a herring. That makes more sense.

[31:29] The other bit is when the one penguin shits on the ice and then turns around and eats it.

[31:36] Real penguin, real shit, turns around and eats it.

[31:39] Which I think they, yeah, I think you brought up, Rich, that they were just filming and they're like,

[31:44] holy shit, we need to find a place in the movie like this.

[31:47] Calm the gold.

[31:48] Well, there's the Conan shit-eating duck. You can see the shit-eating duck on Conan.

[31:52] That briefly became a national phenomenon.

[31:55] Right, and you know, I think, but it's indicative of the whole movie and why the whole movie didn't work.

[32:00] Whereas in the Conan bit, in front of a live audience, they brought the duck out for a certain purpose.

[32:06] And the duck ate its own shit and everybody freaked out and then he came back and said shit-eating duck.

[32:10] Alright, it was a legitimate mistake.

[32:13] If you have a show with a live studio audience and something like that happens,

[32:17] and it's awkward enough for that to happen,

[32:20] you can kind of bring that back and it can be, but like,

[32:23] if you're shooting a movie with penguins and you're just doing nothing but shooting penguins all along,

[32:27] maybe a penguin's gonna eat his own shit.

[32:29] Wait, Rich, I don't understand. Are you saying that Good Luck Chuck was not filmed in front of a live audience?

[32:34] Because you're shattering the illusion.

[32:36] Well, I'm trying to help those amateur filmmakers out there determine between which...

[32:41] When to keep the shit in and when to keep it out.

[32:43] Which, you know, when a bird eats its own shit, when is it humorous and when is it not.

[32:47] Right. Let's start wrapping this up. Let's talk about how the movie itself wraps up.

[32:53] Let's get into the end.

[32:55] I want to briefly, before that, give Rich kudos.

[32:59] Ten minutes into the movie, there is an Asian man singing karaoke.

[33:04] He's singing along to I Touch Myself.

[33:07] And Rich said, alright, I bet 20 minutes, 20 minutes more, we're gonna have a foul-mouthed granny character.

[33:14] Foul-mouthed old lady. It's like the ultimate crutch.

[33:17] And sure enough, 30 minutes into the film...

[33:20] 33, exactly.

[33:22] Did I get that close? I was that close?

[33:24] Yeah, you were that close.

[33:25] I just saw a number of cliches that were so easy that I was like, if they don't do foul-mouthed old lady, I'll be stunned.

[33:30] And on that note, I said that they were gonna end this movie with the running down the concourse in the airport

[33:37] to stop Jessica Alba flying away somewhere.

[33:40] And in fact, that is how the movie ends.

[33:43] Perfectly. It's a perfect ending.

[33:45] Ladies and gentlemen, I guess this movie came out last year.

[33:49] In 2007, we're still using the stop the girl at the airport.

[33:54] Has that ever worked?

[33:55] Like, in real life?

[33:57] No, no. Wow.

[34:00] I understand now why this is a trope in film.

[34:05] The two filmos, in real life, I wish!

[34:08] I've been trying.

[34:09] Oh, man.

[34:10] So many women have flown away to escape me.

[34:13] I mean, I remember it being not very funny in the TV show Friends.

[34:17] I feel like I've seen it be not very funny a number of times.

[34:20] Well, it's not a funny thing to have happen.

[34:22] No, it's supposed to be the heartwarming...

[34:24] Like somebody slipping and falling on their crotch.

[34:27] Right.

[34:28] That'd be funny, right?

[34:29] I suppose.

[34:30] Unless you're watching the movie Airplane.

[34:32] Yeah, I mean, that's fair to say.

[34:35] I didn't mean to use the word funny, but to have it work, even in a cinematic way.

[34:41] For as crappy as the movie Titanic is, to say it works and one can't deny that the movie works.

[34:47] Right.

[34:48] Is there a moment where the catch the girl at the airport thing works?

[34:51] I think if it's in a movie that's not Good Luck Chuck, it could work.

[34:56] Yeah, but still, I can't think of a time...

[34:58] How about Penguin Biting a Man in the Penis?

[35:01] That works... I don't know.

[35:04] How many things that happened in the movie Good Luck Chuck would be funny if they happened in other movies?

[35:08] That's sort of a trick question, because I feel like this movie was sort of a catalog of bad choices.

[35:13] I think almost every single thing that happened in the movie Good Luck Chuck,

[35:17] if it happened in another movie, say even direct...

[35:20] Say one of Mel Brooks' worst movies.

[35:23] I'd say a number of gags, if they would have happened in this movie,

[35:27] if they happened in, say, Robin Hood Men in Tights,

[35:29] they may have had a greater chance of success.

[35:32] I like that you went to Robin Hood Men in Tights.

[35:34] Yeah.

[35:35] That's the Mel Brooks...

[35:36] You said Blazing Saddles, it's not fair.

[35:38] There's a foul-mouthed lady in Blazing Saddles.

[35:40] I guess you're saying, like, okay, Robin Hood Men in Tights is about as low as you're going to go on the Mel Brooks chain,

[35:45] while still getting a few laughs.

[35:47] Like, you can't go to, like, Dracula Dead and loving it.

[35:50] You're like, oh, thank you, sir.

[35:54] What's the homeless one?

[35:55] What's the homeless one, Phil?

[35:56] Life stinks.

[35:57] Oh, that is...

[35:58] Okay.

[35:59] Now, the thing is, I want to touch on, briefly, the subject of...

[36:03] McCoy's trying to wrap the show up.

[36:04] No, it's fine.

[36:05] I just want to touch on something, because I think it's really important, at least it's important to me,

[36:09] and it's important to one of our ex-co-hosts, Mr. Simon Fisher.

[36:13] And that's, it's on the subject of shitty sex comedies.

[36:18] One of the things that drew me to this movie, if you could say such a thing,

[36:22] I guess it's like being drawn to, like, a corpse or something.

[36:25] I would have killed that corpse.

[36:28] This movie reminded me of another movie from a number of years back,

[36:32] a movie called Forty Days and Forty Nights,

[36:34] which is arguably my least favorite movie ever made.

[36:39] That's the movie where Josh Hartnett's character decides to give up sex for Lent.

[36:43] He gives up immortal sin for Lent.

[36:46] And, by the way, the movie in which he gets raped by a woman at the end of the movie

[36:50] and gets blamed for it by Shannon Sussman's character.

[36:55] And no one...

[36:56] I'm not a Catholic, but Lent is a month, right?

[36:58] Lent is a season on the...

[37:01] So it is Forty Days and Forty Nights.

[37:04] Yeah.

[37:05] And he chooses to do this because he's just having so much sex

[37:11] that he just can't take it anymore.

[37:14] He's having too much sex and it's not meaningful enough.

[37:17] And it's just like, I don't know what it is,

[37:20] but it's another perfect example of a movie where you're like,

[37:24] this hero is just too awesome.

[37:26] Like, I can't relate to the awesome woodsman that is Josh Hartnett.

[37:32] Right. If you start out with a problem that most people would like to have...

[37:36] Yes.

[37:37] The movie already has a strike against it.

[37:39] You're already angry at the protagonist.

[37:42] I mean, it would be one thing if they genuinely were like...

[37:45] If they took that in mind, they're like, oh shit.

[37:48] It would kind of suck if a bunch of women found out that

[37:51] I'm a good luck magical penis that will make them find the person they want to marry.

[37:57] It would be one thing if it was like, okay...

[37:59] This is the greatest thing.

[38:00] This is really awesome, and then slowly coming to realize that

[38:03] there's such a thing as too much of a good thing, you know what I mean, guys?

[38:08] And now I have magic AIDS.

[38:10] Yeah.

[38:11] I have serious rug burn on my dog.

[38:16] So, yeah, I mean, I mainly need to bring up Forty Days...

[38:19] I just found my Gchat handle, by the way.

[38:23] I mainly... I made that segue simply because I want everyone to know

[38:30] that I hate Forty Days and Forty Nights.

[38:32] No, fair enough.

[38:33] And that if you see it in a video store, you should rent it,

[38:37] and then throw it away.

[38:40] You should destroy it.

[38:43] The fine that you incur from the video store

[38:46] is nothing compared to the karmic payoff that the universe has given to you.

[38:51] I know I'm saying that this is going to come and bite me in the ass,

[38:54] but if you do that and you get fined, I will find a way to get you that money.

[39:00] I have similar feelings with the movie Nothing But Trouble,

[39:05] which I feel like is a movie where Dan Aykroyd was like,

[39:10] I wonder what would happen if I made Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a comedy,

[39:16] except it's just as disturbing as Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[39:20] The prosthetics...

[39:21] Don't watch that.

[39:22] Yeah, the prosthetics he wears are possibly the grossest things I've ever seen in that movie.

[39:29] And Digital Underground does a live performance.

[39:32] Honestly, I'd just like to bring up that we've watched maybe one of the shittiest movies I've ever seen.

[39:37] And I'm not kidding.

[39:38] And I've seen some shitty movies.

[39:39] This movie fucking sucked.

[39:42] This movie was bad.

[39:43] And you guys have just segued into like four other shitty movies.

[39:47] Now, is this because there isn't enough shitty stuff to talk about in this movie?

[39:53] Or is this movie just shitty and boring?

[39:56] I think it's because we're talking about something else.

[39:58] And frankly...

[39:59] You're just tired of talking about it.

[40:00] I can actually talk about how-

[40:02] How about fucking Dan Cook in an extended cunnilingus scene on a stuffed penguin?

[40:08] Sure.

[40:08] As the credit wrap-up.

[40:10] That guy, like, you don't even go smoking the bandit bloopers.

[40:13] The movie ends with, yes, Dan Cook giving a cunnilingus to a stuffed penguin, and also, I believe, rimming the penguin, too.

[40:22] He turns it over.

[40:24] While Jessica Alba, I guess, is filming it and getting turned on because she loves penguins so much.

[40:30] So, think about that, podcast listeners.

[40:36] That's a nice final note you just dropped in there.

[40:39] Think about that one, and this is Dan for all things considered.

[40:43] Put that in your brain, and maybe if you have a penguin fetish, too, you can listen to this podcast and masturbate. I don't know.

[40:50] Or watch the movie. Or don't.

[40:53] Better yet, throw it away.

[40:56] Also throw Good Luck Chuck away.

[40:59] You know, normally at this point, we go through our final judgments where we talk about whether we would recommend this movie as a good movie to watch and laugh at.

[41:10] Not recommend this movie at all to anyone.

[41:13] Or say that we secretly kind of liked this movie.

[41:16] But I think that we're all on the same page as really just hating this movie.

[41:20] So I don't even know whether we need to go through that final judgment in agreement.

[41:23] I think it's an extraordinary train wreck.

[41:25] Yeah, but we were talking about this.

[41:27] I mean, a bad horror movie or a bad action film or a bad drama, the beauty of that is the fact that it's bad makes it funny.

[41:37] Most of the time.

[41:39] Sometimes it just makes it boring, but it can often make it funny.

[41:42] Whereas a bad comedy, the way it fails is it makes you bored or it makes you uncomfortable.

[41:51] It's just unpleasant.

[41:53] There's nothing more unpleasant than someone trying to get laughs and not.

[41:57] I mean, certainly you as a stand-up.

[42:00] I don't know. I've never really experienced that.

[42:05] I realized in the middle of that that my implication was that you bond all the time.

[42:12] No comedian goes through anything without having bad nights, terrible nights.

[42:17] And I brought it up earlier in the podcast, but it's true.

[42:20] I think that the real tragedy and what makes this movie kind of specially bad is there are moments where you can see Dane Cook.

[42:27] Whether you're a fan of what Dane Cook does or not, there are brief moments where you can see Dane Cook beginning to do whatever it is that Dane Cook does that's appealing.

[42:36] No, agreed.

[42:37] Take Carl Reiner and Steve Martin and Jerk.

[42:40] Carl Reiner knew what was funny about Steve Martin and put the camera on him and allowed him to do that funny Steve Martin thing.

[42:47] That's what that movie is. That's why it's great.

[42:49] Whatever it is that Dane Cook does, whether you like it or not, the director of this movie put the camera on Dane Cook and then cut away from whatever.

[42:58] So I didn't even allow me the judgment of seeing him do the thing that he may or may not do well and then say, fuck you, you suck.

[43:09] Which means it sucked and it sucked.

[43:12] It sucked and it sucked. We'll put that on the DVD box.

[43:17] It sucked and also, in addition to, it sucked.

[43:21] Yeah, it was really, really bad. I went into this knowing it was going to be bad.

[43:26] Sounds like a Green Beret going into Vietnam in 1969.

[43:31] I knew it was going to be bad, but I didn't expect it to be this bad.

[43:36] One of the things that I was fascinated about this movie by was when they started the ad campaign and initially all the trailers focused on the sex part.

[43:45] Like, oh, Dane Cook can't get enough pussy.

[43:48] And that was really off-putting and everyone was like, what the fuck?

[43:53] So I think the geniuses behind this film were like, oh, wait a minute, people don't seem that interesting.

[44:01] And they completely switched gears and tried to focus on Jessica Alba.

[44:06] They're like, Jessica Alba, Jessica Alba.

[44:08] Isn't she funny? Isn't she game?

[44:10] Yeah, Jessica Alba keeps tripping over things.

[44:12] She's so clumsy. Isn't that cute? You probably want to see her in an entire movie, right?

[44:16] Only ten dollars.

[44:17] So I thought that was really interesting that they so obviously switched gears in their marketing.

[44:23] And you know what? Neither of them really managed to capture the enormity of how shitty this movie is.

[44:32] And frankly, of the two of them, I mentioned this multiple times during the movie, Dane Cook walks and runs really weirdly.

[44:40] And I don't think that's an affectation.

[44:42] I think he's significantly more clumsy than Jessica Alba.

[44:45] I think he runs kind of retardedly.

[44:48] I think he was the kind of guy who looked good, like a jock, like he looked like he was a good looking guy.

[44:54] Like a Jerry O'Connell type?

[44:56] Sure, but then was not athletic as a child.

[44:59] Okay.

[45:00] And then developed this comedic thing where he would run funny and people would say, you can't run.

[45:06] He'd say, no, no, I'm running funny.

[45:08] Oh, okay.

[45:09] And it kind of fucked up his acting a little bit.

[45:12] And like all comedians I think have a little...

[45:14] You're making me feel a lot of sympathy for Dane Cook now.

[45:17] Anybody who tries to get laughs for a living has had some fucking problems.

[45:23] And I'm just hypothesizing.

[45:25] They're trying to make, I mean, you know.

[45:28] So we spent a lot of time talking about how bad this movie is.

[45:31] We've all agreed it's bad.

[45:33] Yeah.

[45:34] Let's move forward, Dan.

[45:35] Let's move.

[45:36] Let's leave shitty town far behind us.

[45:38] It's receding in the rear view mirror.

[45:41] Let's go to good town.

[45:43] Yeah.

[45:44] Hello, good town.

[45:45] Population us.

[45:46] And good movies.

[45:48] What are some movies?

[45:49] Yeah, this is the part of the show where we talk about some movies that we saw recently that we actually legitimately enjoyed.

[45:56] So I haven't gone personal.

[45:58] I'll go.

[45:59] Yeah, go.

[46:00] I actually borrowed from Stewart, A Silent Night, Deadly Night.

[46:03] Which is a movie...

[46:04] That's the good one?

[46:05] I love it, too.

[46:07] I'm just...

[46:08] Look, I might have done my homework wrong.

[46:10] We're not recommending Citizen Kane here.

[46:13] Okay, all right.

[46:14] We're recommending movies that we legitimately like for some reason that we saw recently.

[46:18] And if they are movies that are underrated or little seen, all the better.

[46:24] Okay.

[46:25] Because why do you have to recommend a movie that everyone's going to see anyway?

[46:28] No, sure.

[46:29] No, you're absolutely right.

[46:30] And Silent Hill in it is cool.

[46:31] I'm just surprised.

[46:32] Go ahead.

[46:33] Sorry.

[46:34] I apologize.

[46:35] I've heard a lot about it but never had a chance to see.

[46:36] It had not been released on DVD for a long time, I believe.

[46:39] You could get old VHS copies, but that was it.

[46:42] As far as I was able to ascertain via the internet, it barely got released the first time around

[46:48] because all these parents were incensed that there was a movie where Santa Claus was going around

[46:54] axe-murdering people, and so...

[46:57] And raping, I believe.

[46:59] Well, yes.

[47:00] The evil Santa in the beginning.

[47:01] There's a difference in that.

[47:02] There were two Santas.

[47:03] And he just rips their shirt open.

[47:05] He doesn't necessarily...

[47:06] We don't know for sure that she was raped.

[47:09] It's really strange.

[47:11] It's very strange.

[47:12] There's not actually a rape scene.

[47:13] It's been a while since I've seen it.

[47:14] It's just like, well, I guess I'm going to rip your shirt open and then slit your throat.

[47:18] Oh, you're right.

[47:19] But I haven't seen this in a long time.

[47:20] If that's rape, dude, call the cops.

[47:25] Stuart does that every Thursday.

[47:30] It's just a really sleazy movie.

[47:33] It's a really sleazy movie, but as we were talking about before,

[47:36] it's a movie that has the courage of the convictions

[47:38] and just goes all the fucking way and being sleazy.

[47:40] It's like, you know what?

[47:42] We're going to make a movie where an evil Santa Claus

[47:46] kills this kid's parents,

[47:48] and then that kid grows up to be a Santa Claus axe-murderer.

[47:52] And I had a good time watching it.

[47:55] So, if you're into that kind of thing,

[47:58] and you're probably not,

[48:00] why not watch Silent Night, Deadly Night?

[48:03] I had a good time letting you borrow it.

[48:05] Thanks.

[48:06] I've seen that. That was one of the movies.

[48:09] As a kid obsessed with exploitation,

[48:12] slasher movies in the video store,

[48:14] I was very much into that movie.

[48:16] And you're absolutely right.

[48:18] It's a B-movie through and through,

[48:19] an exploitation movie through and through,

[48:20] and it is what it is.

[48:22] It doesn't make apologies.

[48:24] Speaking of which, that might lead to my good movie.

[48:26] It's also a horror movie.

[48:27] I don't know if this is a good way to do this.

[48:29] But a movie I saw recently that I very much enjoyed,

[48:32] and I was skeptical.

[48:35] Because it's a Japanese horror movie.

[48:37] A lot of Japanese horror movies,

[48:39] I feel like it's just a one-syllable movie

[48:42] with a terrifying, wet, 8-year-old Japanese girl.

[48:46] You know what I mean?

[48:47] There's nothing...

[48:48] I don't know how spooky 8-year-old Japanese girls are

[48:51] to the general population.

[48:52] If you get them wet, are they scarier?

[48:54] If the movie only has one syllable,

[48:57] I guess that's horrifying.

[48:59] I don't know.

[49:00] I feel like I've been duped a number of times.

[49:03] You know, I think anything comes over from overseas,

[49:05] if it maintains the buzz,

[49:07] people are going to want to play it up and say it's great.

[49:10] So whenever people say,

[49:11] oh, here's a great Japanese horror movie,

[49:13] I'm skeptical.

[49:14] And this is a movie that I added to my Netflix queue.

[49:17] It's three different movies.

[49:19] It's called Three Extremes.

[49:21] I don't know if you guys have heard about this.

[49:22] I really liked it, yeah.

[49:23] Okay, and it's...

[49:24] To be honest with you,

[49:25] I didn't even see the third extreme.

[49:27] Because it was on...

[49:29] It's three directors.

[49:30] I assume you missed the Takeshi Miike part.

[49:33] Yeah, Takeshi Miike.

[49:34] I'm not a big fan of Takeshi Miike.

[49:36] He's one of those guys that I feel like...

[49:38] Give me some titles.

[49:39] He's really awesome.

[49:40] Audition.

[49:41] Oh, he's on Audition?

[49:43] I love Audition.

[49:44] Audition's my favorite one.

[49:46] The Vengeance.

[49:47] Ichi the Killer.

[49:48] Ichi the Killer I was wild about.

[49:49] Gozu.

[49:52] Happiness of the Katakuris.

[49:54] That was really good.

[49:55] Yeah, that was the only one that I thought...

[49:56] I came in with very high expectations

[49:58] and was disappointed.

[49:59] I didn't know...

[50:00] audition. Audition is phenomenal. But regardless of Mieke, these three guys do these three

[50:07] movies and I had put it on my Netflix. It was rated very, very high based on a bunch

[50:12] of the other B-movies that I had liked. So it's not Three Extremes in particular, but

[50:16] it's the first short called Dumplings, right? Absolutely blew me away. And I won't give

[50:23] away the premise of what it is, but the movie is called Three Extremes and you say, okay,

[50:26] how extreme is it going to be? Let me tell you, this is extreme. It's deeply unpleasant.

[50:31] It's deeply unpleasant. From a story perspective, from a film perspective, from a sound design

[50:38] perspective, it is gross and disturbing and bold. I mean, if you're going to go for Silent

[50:46] Deadly Night, if you're going to go for some of these other extreme movies, I feel like

[50:50] there's lots of extreme things that will say they're extreme and it'll be just crazy gore,

[50:55] which is one thing or another. But I feel like there was a Twilight Zone-esque story

[51:01] behind it that was more extreme than you would find and it really impressed me. I really

[51:05] enjoyed that. Yeah, good stuff. Three Extremes, Dumplings, Fruit Chan. Okay, so I've seen

[51:13] a bunch of good movies lately, but I don't think a single one that I've seen has been

[51:17] underrated in any way. They've all got a lot of critical acclaim. I saw like Three Kind

[51:22] of Human, that was great. I saw King of Kong, which was excellent. But I think it'd be better

[51:30] to recommend something that people might not have seen. And for some reason, this Good

[51:34] Luck Chuck episode, we seem to focus on things that are maybe a little extreme, maybe a little

[51:40] exploitative. So what I would like to recommend is, this is once again in honor of the person

[51:45] who showed it to me the first time, Simon Fisher, thanks for coming. And it's a movie

[51:50] called The Story of Ricky, Ricky O, which is a, I think it's a Hong Kong action movie

[51:57] and it's hands down the goriest movie I've ever seen. And it's just... Have you seen

[52:04] Dead Alive? I have. It's got more than Dead Alive. It's an insane movie. If you want to

[52:09] see a movie that you're just constantly baffled by how awesome and insane it is, and how gory

[52:16] and violent it is, Rich is writing this down, by the way. I just want to point this out.

[52:20] And frankly, if you like insane gore, like punching somebody's head off sort of thing,

[52:27] I recommend watching this. I highly recommend watching The Story of Ricky, Ricky O. Yeah,

[52:34] it's amazing. Well, I think that what we've learned tonight is that the kind of guys who

[52:41] host a movie podcast are also the kind of movie dorks who like exploitation, horror,

[52:48] and extreme Asian cinema. I don't know that that's true. I think what else is true is

[52:55] that fucking Dane Cook and this fucking piece of shit got a scene fucking revved. All we

[53:02] want to see is things get torn apart. Another point about this movie and how bad it was,

[53:08] we continually said, you know what would make this movie better? If this extreme, horrible

[53:13] thing happened. I believe I said, if we actually saw him with his pants off fucking a grapefruit,

[53:18] that might be better than this. Then we saw it, and I was proved wrong. Well, you're a

[53:26] big man to admit it. You were into the grapefruit thing, too? No, I'm not. No, it was big of

[53:32] you to admit that you thought it was going to be better, and it turned out that it wasn't

[53:37] better. To all 85 of our listeners, you're saying that your comedy judgment was wrong

[53:43] in that case, and I'm impressed. I don't know that it was comedy judgment. I don't know

[53:47] that I was looking for comedy. I was looking for entertainment value. Oh, right. Yeah,

[53:51] that guy fucking ate a grapefruit. Not that entertaining. In the right hands. If Hitchcock

[53:57] was doing it. Well, on that note, the funeral march of a marionette echoing in our ears.

[54:09] And then the woman cooked the grapefruit for the cops, and they never knew where the murder

[54:16] weapon was. Thank you, Roald Dahl. Well, for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been

[54:25] Stuart Wellington. I'm very happy to have been guesting with you guys. It's been a lot

[54:29] of fun. I'm Rich Duncan. Good night. Bye. Well, that was a delight.

[54:40] Light off. Some podcast mood lighting. Settle in for some nice podcasting. Yeah. Are we

[54:52] on? Is this how it starts? We sort of ease into it. You take it slow. You gotta spit

[55:01] on it. That's what I would say if I was the sex-crazed buddy.

The Flop House: Episode Ten - Good Luck Chuck

Transcript

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