The Flop House: Episode Ten - Good Luck Chuck

Dan McCoy

[0:00] Tonight on the Flophouse, we discuss Good Luck Chuck,

[0:03] the horrifying tale of women inexorably drawn to have sex with Dane Cook.

[0:30] Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:37] I'm Stuart Willingham.

[0:38] My name's Rich Duncan.

[0:40] Fuck you, Dan McCoy.

[0:41] Yeah, Rich is a little bitter that I've enlisted him because he really didn't like Good Luck Chuck.

[0:46] But let's give a little introduction to this week's guest host, Rich, a stand-up comedian of many years,

[0:54] a writer for TV and radio, former editor-in-chief for Just Magazine,

[1:03] New York City's only and best humor magazine for a while there.

S2

[1:09] Let's stretch my credits out as much as we can.

Dan McCoy

[1:12] Sure. Well, we've got some time to fill.

S2

[1:16] Thank you. It's good to be here. I'm happy to be here.

[1:19] It's been, if I had to watch this wretched fucking abortion of a movie with anybody,

[1:24] with you two guys, it's actually, there have been some laughs in that it has been,

[1:29] actually it was awful. Fuck you.

[1:31] Right. But there, yeah, let's, you know what's spoiled the podcast.

[1:36] I want to start out by saying,

[1:38] What, we mean like a movie on the Flophouse? Well, maybe this one will be good.

Dan McCoy

[1:42] It's become fashionable among stand-up comedians to bad-mouth Dane Cook.

[1:48] Sure.

[1:48] Now, Rich, you are a stand-up comedian.

[1:51] Mm-hmm.

[1:51] Would you like to jump on that train?

S2

[1:54] Well, I kind of, I would, I would like to jump on that train a little bit.

[1:59] I don't think Dane Cook is a good stand-up.

[2:05] I think he's an able stand-up.

[2:07] I'm not going to jump on the train and be one of those guys that says he's awful because he's successful.

[2:11] I admire the guy's success.

[2:13] I think he works hard. He's got a tremendous work ethic.

[2:15] The way he promoted himself is great.

[2:17] I think he found himself to be promoted beyond his skill set a little too soon.

[2:24] He does have a lot of energy.

[2:25] I see him running around on stage.

[2:27] Well, here's what bothers me about this movie in particular.

[2:29] Should we get into, do we want to talk about Dane Cook still?

[2:31] Let's get right into the movie.

[2:32] Okay.

[2:33] Dig in.

[2:34] The thing that bothers me about Dane Cook in this movie is he is poor in it.

[2:39] All right?

[2:39] He's not, he's not, he does not do a good movie.

[2:41] You say he's not good.

[2:42] He's not good.

[2:42] His character doesn't have a lot of money?

[2:44] Is that right?

[2:46] His character has a tremendous amount of money, which is never really explained, and we can

[2:51] get deeper into that.

[2:52] But he does not do a great job in the movie comedically.

[2:56] However, the movie is also directed so poorly that on the several occasions when he does

[3:02] something where you go, hey, that might not be my cup of tea, but that was a good piece

[3:06] of physical comedy.

[3:08] The director then cuts away from it, which means that not only does he suck, but he can

[3:12] watch the movie and go, see, they ruined it!

[3:15] And he's right.

Dan McCoy

[3:15] Right.

[3:16] Well, I, you know, the movie does lay there lifeless on the screen.

[3:20] I looked up the director.

[3:21] Is that a direct quote from another review?

[3:24] That was Jonathan Rosenbaum of the Chicago Reader.

[3:27] Lays there lifeless on the screen.

[3:29] But, um.

[3:30] No, I looked up the director.

[3:31] This is his first feature film.

[3:33] That's a big shocker.

[3:34] You don't say.

[3:35] Before that, though, he was an editor of Some Note.

[3:38] Probably his best credit that I saw was he edited Predator.

[3:42] He edited Predator.

[3:43] That's a well-edited film.

[3:44] Yeah.

[3:45] He edited a lot of not good movies.

[3:47] Okay, that's a great intro.

[3:48] Including Striking Distance.

[3:49] Okay.

[3:50] Can you imagine?

S2

[3:51] For a while.

[3:51] I think that's probably an intro to quite a few movie circles and women.

[3:56] It's got a nice rhyme to it, much like Good Luck Chuck.

[3:59] Hi.

[4:00] I'm the editor of Predator.

[4:02] I'm the Predator editor, I think.

[4:04] I'm Predator's editor.

[4:06] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[4:07] Good Luck Chuck.

[4:08] People like things that rhyme.

[4:10] That's what we learned from Good Luck Chuck.

Stuart Wellington

[4:12] It's also, I mean, I don't know if I want to talk about this.

[4:14] Immediately.

[4:16] But I think this movie's kind of like the nail in the coffin of Hollywood's use of the name Chuck as a comedic name.

[4:24] Chuck or K-Sound in general?

S2

[4:26] Specifically, it seems like Chuck and Chuck.

Dan McCoy

[4:27] K-Sound oftentimes is very funny.

[4:29] Yeah, but Chuck in particular has become popular.

[4:33] I mean, for instance.

[4:35] I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry?

[4:36] Yeah.

[4:38] The NBC television show Chuck.

[4:41] That one didn't occur to me first.

[4:42] Yeah.

[4:43] No, he went to Chuck.

[4:43] When we're talking about Chuck.

[4:45] Well, but that's the funny thing.

[4:46] I was going to say, my wife was chatting with me on the internet.

[4:49] Perhaps you've heard of it.

[4:50] Sure.

[4:51] And she was saying, what movie are we going to watch for Flophouse?

[4:55] And I said, we're going to watch Good Luck Chuck.

[4:57] And she's like, is that the one with Jessica Alba where she has a really hot body?

[5:02] And I said, yes.

[5:04] But I think that actually, based on our last Flophouse, you're thinking of, I now pronounce

[5:08] you Chuck and Larry with Jessica Biel, who we talked about having an attractive figure.

Stuart Wellington

[5:15] Also has the name Jessica.

[5:17] Yeah, exactly.

[5:18] So, yeah, similarities.

[5:19] Chuck is in the title of both films.

[5:21] I can see how she would make that confusion.

[5:24] Also, unfunny sex farces.

[5:29] I mean, I can't say that.

[5:31] I haven't actually seen that movie.

[5:32] I've seen the trailer.

[5:33] I talked to Frank Lesser, who wasn't pleased with it.

[5:37] Yeah.

S2

[5:37] Pleased with the trailer of...

[5:39] No, the actual film.

Dan McCoy

[5:40] Yeah, he actually saw I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

[5:43] The gay panic film.

S2

[5:45] Apparently it's written by the guys who did Sideways and Alexander Payne.

Dan McCoy

[5:51] Alexander Payne wrote the first draft of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

[5:55] Which made me kind of want to see it.

[5:56] I assume, though, since then, it was made into...

[6:00] It was 80% Sandlerized.

[6:03] You know?

[6:04] Sure.

[6:05] They put it through the Sandler machine.

[6:06] Yep.

[6:07] The little Mickey machine.

[6:10] Like, we need to get that guy from King of Queens in here somehow.

[6:14] And Hitch.

[6:15] Yeah.

[6:17] Oh, he was a delight in Hitch dancing like a white man.

Stuart Wellington

[6:20] So, yeah.

[6:22] So, the name Chuck...

[6:22] But you were talking about Chuck.

[6:23] The name Chuck.

[6:24] I don't think it's funny.

[6:25] No.

[6:25] I don't find anything humorous about it.

[6:27] It does rhyme with fuck.

S2

[6:29] We were talking about rhyming before.

[6:31] The bucket list.

Stuart Wellington

[6:33] That's true.

[6:34] That sort of sounds like...

[6:35] The bucket.

[6:36] Chuck.

S2

[6:37] The Chuck-it list.

[6:38] Now, the thing is, is that...

[6:39] That would be humorous.

[6:40] Howard the Chuck.

Stuart Wellington

[6:41] I was at least hoping that this movie would, like, have at least one scene where somebody

[6:47] says, good luck, Chuck.

[6:49] Because at least I could be like, yay, they said the title.

[6:52] They'd never call him Chuck.

[6:54] It's Charlie every time.

[6:55] There's not...

[6:56] His fucking horndog buddy doesn't even call him Chuck at all.

S2

[7:01] That is the opposite of good night and good luck.

[7:03] That's true.

[7:04] If we get somehow good night and good luck Chuck, that would be fantastic.

[7:08] Where every woman Edward R. Murrow sleeps with goes on to get married.

[7:13] I also...

[7:14] I don't know if you realize this is a piece of...

[7:15] We cannot defend freedom at home.

[7:18] Abroad.

[7:18] By defending it at home.

[7:20] SFX.

[7:21] Fart noise.

[7:23] By the way, that Edward R. Murrow.

[7:26] Joke.

[7:27] Constitutes the entirety of my written material on this podcast.

Dan McCoy

[7:32] Speaking of stand-up, Rich has whipped out his little notebook.

[7:35] His little stand-up's notebook.

S2

[7:37] I also have written the words, I don't know how it's going to tie in, Uncle Buck.

[7:46] What's going to get in there?

[7:47] It's like a little time bomb.

Dan McCoy

[7:49] Funny movie, Uncle Buck.

[7:51] I think that good luck Chuck is a sort of esoteric play on the idea of a good luck fuck.

[7:58] Which, um...

[7:59] You know what?

[8:00] That didn't even occur to me.

[8:01] You're absolutely right.

[8:03] The premise of this movie...

[8:04] I went Edward R. Murrow immediately.

[8:07] The premise of this movie was literally expressed at least nine times within the film.

[8:13] They would continually reiterate what the premise is, which is...

[8:16] Dane Cook has sex with a woman.

[8:18] And then that woman goes on to immediately thereafter meet the love of her life.

[8:24] And get married.

[8:25] Right.

[8:25] Which leads to a run on Dane Cook's wing.

[8:29] Yeah.

[8:31] Leads to a sex montage.

[8:32] Yeah.

[8:33] A really explicit sex montage.

S2

[8:36] But more than one.

[8:37] Like, they kind of...

[8:38] The message is delivered and then he has sex with a bunch of women and then it's delivered

[8:41] again and there's another montage and it's, uh...

Dan McCoy

[8:44] Well, all I know is that Dane Cook was having sex in a lot of different ways.

[8:48] He was having sex in, like, a sex swing.

[8:50] He was having sex with, like, the woman's legs, like, over her head.

[8:53] You know, like...

[8:54] In the shower.

[8:54] Yeah.

[8:55] A lot more positions than you normally would see in an R-rated comedy.

S2

[8:59] And also, lots of boobs.

[9:01] Yeah.

[9:01] I mean, a lot of times you'll get this...

[9:03] Like, even in Wedding Crashers, where they do have a little bit of a montage of topless

[9:07] women kind of hitting the sheets.

[9:09] Well, you know what?

[9:09] In the name of good taste, once you've gotten the idea, especially if it's a comedy, you...

[9:14] I mean, the movie opens with a tremendously gratuitous topless scene.

Dan McCoy

[9:18] Well, and we did watch the unrated DVD cut.

[9:21] I have no idea what the theatrical cut of Good Luck Chuck...

[9:23] I don't know what the cut of Good Luck Chuck was, but we did...

[9:25] I have to express that, but...

S2

[9:27] Did the unrated cut...

[9:28] Did it have artwork on the front of a woman wearing a bikini bottle, like, just naked from

[9:33] the back?

[9:33] Showing, like, with her top open?

[9:35] Right.

Stuart Wellington

[9:35] Or from the...

[9:36] Too extreme for theaters?

[9:37] Or from the front, and the word unrated was across her chest.

[9:40] Yes.

[9:40] I was hoping, like, some kind of a cartoon animal wearing sunglasses and giving the thumbs

[9:44] up.

[9:46] Maybe an anteater.

[9:49] A penguin.

S2

[9:49] A penguin.

[9:50] A penguin should have been a penguin.

[9:52] A penguin.

Dan McCoy

[9:53] But what I would say about that is, like, if this was 1995...

[9:56] Sure.

[9:57] And someone was asking me, like, can you recommend Good Luck Chuck to me in any way?

[10:02] I would say, well, the one way I could recommend Good Luck Chuck to you is...

[10:07] Assuming that Good Luck Chuck was made in 1995.

[10:10] I'd be like, one thing I could recommend to you, it's an unrepentant R-rated comedy.

[10:16] There's a lot of nudity in it, and it's definitely, like, an R-rated sex comedy.

[10:21] It's not a good one, but, you know, back in the 90s, all the comedies were like, David

[10:27] Spade is in a PG-13 film, you know?

[10:30] Whereas now, we have, like, Judd Apatow movies, or we have, you know, the Wedding Crashers,

[10:37] which is about, you know, one half of a good comedy.

[10:39] You know, it's not great all the way through, but it's got some good stuff in it.

[10:42] And those are old-style, Animal House-style, R-rated comedies.

S2

[10:47] So this is, to comedy, what, say, like, an Eli Roth horror movie would be to horror.

[10:56] Or a bad Eli Roth movie.

[10:57] Eli Roth has done some good horror movies, but when he goes over the top and it's just sort

[11:00] of splattery, it is extreme, and I feel like we came out of a horror era with The Scream

[11:05] and the Kevin Williamson and a lot of that where...

[11:07] I would go further.

[11:08] Exploitation without exploitation.

[11:09] Exploitation.

[11:09] I would say more like a Saw movie.

[11:12] Yeah, okay.

Dan McCoy

[11:12] Like, Eli Roth, at least he's, like, an auteur.

[11:16] Like, oh, I can see...

[11:17] Eli Roth is the guiding hand behind this film, rather than...

S2

[11:20] I'm coming off a bad, uh, Hostel 2 experience.

[11:23] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[11:24] We'll talk about that after the podcast.

[11:27] Now, on the subject of comedies.

[11:29] Like, I don't think I'm going to be surprising anybody to say that this is a shitty movie.

[11:33] Like, this is a shitty comedy.

S2

[11:35] That's a point I would like to bring up just briefly.

[11:38] Yeah, sure.

[11:39] Do we expect our audience to have seen Good Luck Chuck?

[11:42] I don't know.

[11:43] Sit through it and then enjoy the podcast?

Dan McCoy

[11:45] If they have, they certainly wouldn't enjoy the podcast.

[11:48] If they went out willingly to see Good Luck Chuck, they probably wouldn't enjoy this podcast,

[11:56] which is really sort of shooting ourselves in the foot audience-wise.

S2

[11:59] But maybe if they've enjoyed the podcast in the past, they would say,

[12:03] they're going to be doing Good Luck Chuck, I want to watch Good Luck Chuck,

[12:05] and then hear what the fellas want to say.

Stuart Wellington

[12:06] Yeah, maybe they want to watch it and then pretend like they're in the room with us

[12:10] and, like, get a couple laughs and be like,

[12:11] oh, good zinger, Dan, you're a funny guy.

Dan McCoy

[12:14] This shit is the silver lining.

[12:16] If you want to imagine what that might be like, by the way,

[12:19] imagine three guys drinking heavily and maybe Stuart exposes himself at some point during the evening.

[12:26] If I'll remember to.

Stuart Wellington

[12:29] But as I was saying, okay, Good Luck Chuck is a shitty comedy, okay?

[12:33] It's a shitty, bad movie.

[12:35] But the question is, even though it is so horribly inept,

[12:39] is it worse or better than this fucking, like, stream of shitty spoof comedies

[12:48] that come out once a year right after Christmas?

[12:51] Like the amount of a teen movie, epic movie.

[12:54] Your epic movie, your date movie.

[12:56] Exactly.

[12:56] Now, I'm just going to, I actually have to claim ignorance.

[13:00] I exclusively am familiar with these movies through the trailers.

[13:03] I actually have not watched them.

Dan McCoy

[13:05] Well, I have to say, you know, Date Movie was on HBO.

[13:09] Okay.

[13:10] I love Alison Hannigan.

[13:12] Sure.

[13:12] I'm a Buffy fan.

[13:13] I like her new show, How I Met Your Mother.

[13:17] I like Alison Hannigan.

[13:19] I think she's cute.

[13:19] You're going further out on the thin ice, but I'm still with you.

[13:21] I think she's cute.

[13:22] She is.

[13:23] And I was like, I would like to see Alison Hannigan in a starring role.

[13:27] She never gets to star in a movie.

[13:28] And that's probably why she accepted the role in Date Movie.

[13:31] She's like, you know what?

[13:33] Not a lot of screenplays are coming my way where I get to play the lead.

[13:36] Sure, I'll be in Date Movie.

[13:38] I literally could make it through five minutes of the film.

[13:42] And I had to turn it off.

[13:44] It made me so upset.

S2

[13:46] Did it make you upset because the movie sucked?

[13:48] Or because you liked Alison Hannigan and you didn't want to see her humiliating herself?

Dan McCoy

[13:52] I think the second is a lesser concern.

[13:54] It was part of it.

[13:55] But it was just so terrible.

[13:56] Five minutes?

[13:57] Five minutes.

[13:58] This is a rapid gag movie, too, isn't it?

[14:00] I mean...

[14:01] It would like to be a rapid gag movie.

[14:03] Was it one of those...

[14:03] I didn't see it.

[14:04] It's all fat suit and reference based, though.

Stuart Wellington

[14:07] I mean, is it one of those movies that when you're watching it, you're like watching it by yourself.

[14:12] And you start looking around, trying to make sure no one else knows you're watching this movie.

[14:16] Like, it's so bad, you're like...

[14:18] I'm not on the subway while watching this movie, too.

[14:21] That's the thing.

[14:22] Like, if I'm in a hotel room or at home and I put on a movie that's that bad, like that abysmally bad,

[14:29] and it's often a comedy, like when I was watching Tomcats, for God's sake.

[14:34] I start looking around and I start, like, hoping that there's no record that I'm watching this,

[14:39] so that, like, fucking years down the line I'll be at a date and I'll be talking, like, you know,

[14:43] like trying to, you know, get in good with my date or with, like, her family, maybe.

[14:47] I meet her family for the first time.

[14:49] Maybe I'm in love with her, like, Chuck is with what's...

[14:52] Jessica Alba.

[14:52] Jessica Alba's character.

[14:53] And, like...

[14:54] Yeah, I know.

[14:55] And I really want to, like, sell the moment.

[14:57] And then, like, somebody's like, but I found out you watched Tomcats.

[15:01] I bet you laughed at least once.

[15:04] Like, it's one of those movies that is so bad you're like, I can't believe I'm doing this.

Dan McCoy

[15:09] Well, let's get...

[15:09] I mean, let's get in more specifically to good with Chuck and Lesley.

S2

[15:13] Tomcats, by the way, is a good example of a 1990s movie that you would think should be R-rated

[15:18] and have a bunch of extreme language and nudity and there's nothing in it.

Dan McCoy

[15:23] No.

[15:24] No.

[15:24] So it doesn't even work on that USA up all night level.

[15:27] Yeah.

[15:28] But the thing about this movie...

[15:30] We're a podcast hosted by a couple of guys.

[15:32] We talk about women in movies frequently.

[15:35] We talk about, you know, like, attractive women or whether, like, even, you know, like,

[15:39] oh, there's a nude scene in this movie, fellows.

[15:41] You might enjoy to see that.

[15:43] You know?

[15:44] Fast forward to exactly 34 minutes in.

[15:46] However, like, this is the most offensive movie with regards to women.

[15:50] Like, the most upsetting...

[15:52] Like, for me, that's the thing that kills the comedy of this movie the most.

[15:57] The premise is, okay, Chuck has sex with these women, then they go on to find love.

[16:03] A bunch of women line up and they're like, you know what?

[16:06] I'm willing to prostitute myself to you, Chuck, one night, if that means that I'm going to go on to find true love...

[16:14] Of course, all that women care about is that they might get married.

S2

[16:18] They say that at one point.

[16:20] Well, that's the thing that's a huge problem with the movie.

[16:22] And it's not that I find it offensive to women.

[16:26] I mean, it is offensive to women, but it just doesn't...

[16:29] I mean, there's lots of...

[16:30] Believe me, I love a good exploitation movie.

[16:32] Sure.

[16:33] You know, I mean...

Dan McCoy

[16:34] But it has to have the courage of its lack of conviction.

S2

[16:36] Exactly.

[16:37] Exactly.

[16:38] You know, and if it will go ahead and say, you know, I'm going to be a Russ Meyer movie and fly that flag high.

[16:43] And this is going to be absolutely ridiculous and, you know, I'm not going to get too much into the plots of different Russ Meyer movies that I enjoy and why.

[16:52] But this movie, it claims to be something that it's not.

[16:57] And it's that disingenuousness that offends me more than...

Dan McCoy

[17:01] Right.

[17:02] It makes a hard left turn, you know, about half the way into the movie and starts trying to tug at your heartstrings.

[17:09] And you're like, wait, do I have to...

[17:11] Am I to forget that this movie started out with a woman giving Chuck a blowjob on the beach and there was a long topless scene?

Stuart Wellington

[17:20] And it's a bad blowjob and you're supposed to sympathize and be like, hey guys, we've all been there before, you know.

[17:27] You know when that hot girl's giving you a bad blowjob?

[17:30] Yeah.

[17:32] It's upsetting.

[17:34] Now, one of the things...

[17:35] And this is actually a whole bunch of points rolled into one.

[17:38] But there are a couple things that I think we need to touch on.

[17:41] For one, is the central relationship between...

[17:44] You have Chuck on one side, who's like this fucking ultimate perfect dude.

[17:48] He's super nice.

[17:50] He has a fucking million dollars or whatever.

S2

[17:53] In the blowjob scene, breaks up with her because she says she loves him too early.

[17:58] Is that what it was?

[17:59] He cares about love.

Stuart Wellington

[18:01] He won't say that he loves somebody if he doesn't mean it.

[18:03] Right.

[18:04] And then his good buddy played perfectly to a T by fucking Dan Fogelberg is the ultimate sleazy horndog who at least once on camera has sex with a grapefruit.

[18:19] More than once.

[18:20] More than once.

[18:21] My mistake.

S2

[18:22] While stimulating his own prostate with a potato scrubber.

[18:27] Yeah.

[18:28] Looked like it was his thumb and they cleaned it up, I think, with a potato scrubber.

Stuart Wellington

[18:31] So, first of all, we have these two friends here, okay?

[18:34] So, we have the horndog friend and then we have our hero.

[18:36] Now, first of all, I want to examine the hero because the thing is, like, I don't know if the writers realize that in a comedy, you don't want to have the perfect guy.

[18:46] The only reason this guy's relationships weren't working was because of fucking magic.

[18:51] A fucking magic spell cast on him in the fucking first ten minutes of the movie when this fucking little girl tries to rape this little boy.

Dan McCoy

[18:59] Let's take a brief moment out to say that the movie starts out with, like, a flashback scene to show that they're playing, spin the bottle, like, seven minutes of heaven sort of thing, and this goth girl.

[19:12] There are a lot of goth girls around in the 80s.

[19:14] By the way, brought to you by Mountain Dew.

S2

[19:16] They had a very, like, clear point of having it be a Mountain Dew bottle that they were spinning.

[19:21] And I guarantee you Mountain Dew was like, yes, this pseudo-penophilia.

Dan McCoy

[19:25] Well, and the most, like, the most sexually voracious and, like, aggressive 13-year-old girl in history basically...

[19:33] 13 charitable.

[19:34] ...tries to rape Chuck.

[19:37] And then when he's not interested in it, she puts a curse on him.

[19:41] And we're to believe that that's why he has all these problems in the future.

Stuart Wellington

[19:45] Now, when I was 13, I almost got raped by 13-year-old girls a lot.

[19:49] Now, that's pretty common.

[19:50] But you know what?

[19:51] They never were able to cast magical spells on me, dude.

[19:54] Well, they weren't goth.

[19:55] Oh, fuck, right.

[19:58] Or Wiccans.

[19:58] Wiccans also have that power.

[20:00] See, I was more selective in the crowd I hung out with.

S2

[20:03] And she was wearing a pentagram necklace that later in the movie, when he tracked her down 25 years later,

[20:11] the daughter was wearing the exact same necklace, which is how they were able to...

Stuart Wellington

[20:17] Weirdly enough, that daughter also seemed to have a desire to see Dane Cook's penis.

[20:23] So I think part of it is like this weird, like...

[20:25] It's like a cursed necklace almost.

[20:28] Cursed jewelry.

[20:29] I would like to see the story of that necklace.

[20:30] There's a fantastic horror movie going on somewhere in there.

S2

[20:34] Hey, what's the story of that necklace, huh?

Dan McCoy

[20:36] But you were saying that you expect, like, the hero in a comedy, I think, to be a little more flawed.

[20:41] Yeah.

[20:41] Like, that's what makes it funny.

[20:42] Well, to have a flaw.

Stuart Wellington

[20:42] Other than to be really, like, gesture heavy and have a bad complexion.

[20:49] So not be Dane Cook is what you're saying.

S2

[20:51] Yeah.

[20:52] If you take...

[20:52] There's something about Mary, for example, which I think is the model that all these kind of comedies are based on.

[20:57] You've got a guy that is genuinely awkward with women and, you know...

[21:03] And it's basically like a bit of a stalker.

[21:05] Yeah, absolutely.

[21:06] And I feel like...

[21:08] You know the thing is I try to analyze this movie and I just get so fucking angry.

Stuart Wellington

[21:13] Your voice modulates a lot when you get mad.

[21:16] Like, you get, like, really worked up over here.

Dan McCoy

[21:18] Well, but on the other hand, we've got his friend.

[21:21] It's like they took Booger and they took everything on...

[21:23] Like, they, like, ramped up everything unappealing about him.

[21:26] Like, Booger was, like, a horny best friend with, like, character.

[21:30] Yeah, with a little bit of honor.

S2

[21:32] Yeah.

[21:32] Well, also, they left it to the best friend over and over and over again to present the premise of the movie.

[21:38] Which was, this is the truth of the movie.

[21:40] Yet, they tried to get laughs from the fact that this guy was such a scumbag.

[21:45] Oh, yeah.

[21:45] So, therefore, if the guy is such a scumbag, that would mean that other...

[21:49] He says things that routinely are not true, which is why they're funny.

[21:53] And also, you can tell...

[21:54] They're not true, they're evil, they're wrong.

[21:56] That's why we laugh.

[21:57] Sure.

[21:57] You can tell he's a scumbag.

[21:58] Then he presents the honest premise of the magical film.

[22:02] Yeah.

[22:02] You're off on the wrong foot.

[22:04] I guess what I'm saying is good luck, Chuck, is a flawed film.

[22:07] Huh.

Dan McCoy

[22:08] I'm going for that.

[22:09] You can tell that he's a scumbag, by the way, because he is a cosmetic surgeon who specializes in giving a boob job.

[22:16] Right.

[22:16] That's not enough.

[22:17] I guess gynecologist wasn't available for his movie job, so they had to go with boob job.

S2

[22:24] Or introducing him as an adult for the first time and having a candle spill all over Dane Cook's crotch.

[22:31] And his first reaction is, it looks like cum!

[22:34] It looks like cum!

[22:35] I'm actually going to have to jump right in here, Rich.

[22:37] Yeah, go ahead.

Stuart Wellington

[22:38] I actually...

[22:39] That was, I think, one of two times that I actually genuinely laughed during this movie.

[22:43] I'm sorry.

S2

[22:44] I'm not saying that's tremendously unfunny.

[22:47] Okay.

[22:48] What I'm saying is, if that is not enough evidence that this guy is a certain level of juvenile...

[22:56] Okay.

[22:57] Right.

[22:57] You have to also back that up, be like, oh, and what do you do for a living?

[23:01] I make boobies!

[23:04] Well, also...

[23:05] That's actually a pretty good impression of him.

Dan McCoy

[23:07] We're introduced to the guy the first time, by the way, in that original flashback scene.

[23:13] Because, as you know from your own lives, clearly, Rich, you know, the people that you were friends with when you were 13, you're still best friends with now.

[23:20] That's just the way it works.

[23:21] Yeah.

[23:21] That's the way it works in life.

[23:24] Even if that person is completely sleazy and you're the ultimate nice guy.

[23:29] And they work right across the hall from each other, too.

[23:32] Yeah.

[23:33] The better for hygiene sidekick.

[23:34] They probably went to college together, too.

[23:36] Maybe they were roommates right out of college.

[23:39] That's just the way life...

[23:41] That's the way life goes with best friends.

S2

[23:42] The only way that this...

[23:44] Their relationship would work in this movie would be if this was the movie version of a sitcom that had been going on for 25 years.

[23:52] Where the characters miraculously go to college together.

[23:55] And you just go, alright, look, it's the show.

Dan McCoy

[23:57] Well, I would buy the whole thing if at the end of the movie, the big reveal was that they were in love with each other.

[24:03] That they'd just been suppressing their love the whole time.

[24:06] It's definitely kind of a gay movie.

Stuart Wellington

[24:08] There's a lot of...

Dan McCoy

[24:10] And don't get us wrong.

[24:12] If it was a gay movie, it would probably be a much better movie.

Stuart Wellington

[24:15] I mean, you do get to see Dan Cook's nicely shaven chest a lot.

[24:22] Once again, perfect guy.

[24:24] His buddy seems really interested in watching a sex tape featuring him.

[24:29] He marries a woman that his best friend boned in order to take advantage of this thing.

S2

[24:36] Who, by the way, has three tits.

[24:39] So, therefore, he loves the tits so much.

Dan McCoy

[24:42] Right.

[24:43] Yeah, there's that moment.

[24:44] The horned dog friend marries the stripper from Total Recall, basically.

Stuart Wellington

[24:47] And, you know what?

[24:48] I think that moment when he suggests that he could give Dan Cook's character tits, the Charlie character,

[24:54] I think that's the most honest he's being.

[24:56] Because in many ways, he wishes he could give him breasts.

[24:59] Yeah.

[25:00] Because he'd be combining his two favorite things, his friend Charlie and breasts.

Dan McCoy

[25:03] You know, to continue listing the way that this movie has an offensive view of sex, and in particular women...

[25:10] That would be his main character.

[25:11] Sure.

[25:12] His friends.

[25:13] There's the scene where Dan Cook's sassy black secretary, who, by the way, is an overweight woman,

[25:23] comes to Dan Cook and begs him to have sex with her so she can meet the man of her dreams.

[25:31] And Dan Cook, because he's a nice guy, goes through with it.

[25:37] Because, you know guys, fat people need charity fucks.

[25:41] That's basically the message of good luck, Chuck.

Stuart Wellington

[25:44] The thing is that every once in a while, not always, but every once in a while, really fat people,

[25:51] actually, like, they're actually beautiful on the inside.

[25:55] Rarely.

[25:56] As also, later on in this movie, we discover that this horribly fat woman also is kind of mean and a really bad eater.

[26:04] And flatulent.

[26:05] Flatulent, yep.

[26:06] Has very few manners.

[26:08] Yeah, I mean, that woman didn't deserve the charity fuck, because she, despite her outer horribleness,

[26:14] there was no inner goodness.

[26:16] Ah, just goes to show you never know what's inside.

[26:19] Exactly.

[26:20] It takes a charity fuck to determine usually.

S2

[26:22] So the term good luck fuck exists?

[26:26] Because it sounds right, doesn't it?

Dan McCoy

[26:28] I mean, is it possible, like, before you get married?

[26:31] We're just subliminally assume.

[26:33] Because you said that, and it seemed to ring true to me.

[26:36] I mean, if you recall the advertisement for this movie, it was a lot of, like, Jessica Alba eating ice cream cones.

[26:44] You know, it was very, like, Corey.

[26:44] We haven't talked about Jessica Alba at all.

[26:46] No, I wanted to get into that.

[26:48] Speaking of people who are beautiful.

[26:49] I want to get into that.

[26:51] Speaking of characters who are beautiful on the outside and the inside.

[26:55] Jessica Alba's character.

Stuart Wellington

[26:56] By the way, my joke there, that was probably about as good as Dan Vogelberg's joke in the entire movie.

[27:03] So, Jessica Alba.

[27:06] Yeah, you know, she hasn't been in a lot of comedies, right?

[27:09] What was that deep sea diving movie with Paul Walker?

[27:11] I'm going to say she hasn't been in any.

Dan McCoy

[27:13] Yeah.

[27:15] Oh, shoot.

[27:16] It was...

[27:16] That wasn't a comedy, though, right?

[27:18] Into the Blue.

[27:19] That wasn't a comedy, right?

[27:20] I was going to say Blue Crush.

[27:20] She wasn't in that one.

[27:21] Blue Crush was the Kate Fosworth surfing film about the surfing girls.

[27:27] So, not the movie we were talking about.

[27:29] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[27:29] The movie I'm talking about, I was just making sure it wasn't a comedy.

[27:32] Yeah.

[27:33] Well, it's a better movie.

[27:34] I've seen it.

[27:35] It's better.

[27:36] You're right.

[27:37] And it sucks.

Dan McCoy

[27:39] Jessica Alba, she's clumsy.

[27:42] That's one thing I learned from this movie.

[27:44] Her character's clumsy.

[27:45] Yeah.

[27:45] But she's not clumsy.

S2

[27:47] It's a bad acting job.

[27:49] Like, she has several spectacular stage pratfall moments.

Dan McCoy

[27:53] I gotta say.

[27:54] Yet remains graceful throughout the movie.

[27:56] I don't think Jessica Alba's funny in this movie.

[27:58] I still think she's funnier than Dane Cook.

[28:00] And I'll tell you one thing.

[28:02] We watched Mr. Brooks.

[28:04] This is the second time that an actor has reoccurred on the Flophouse.

[28:08] Dane Cook was in Mr. Brooks.

[28:10] I'll go ahead and say Dane Cook was better as a dramatic actor than as a comic actor.

[28:15] In this film.

[28:16] And he's a professional comedian.

[28:18] So, Jessica Alba.

S2

[28:20] Well, you know, a lot of times professional stand-up comedians don't translate well in acting.

[28:24] No, it's fair enough.

[28:25] There's a certain skill set.

[28:27] There's a lot of terrible Richard Pryor movies.

[28:29] You know.

[28:29] I'm not saying that Dane Cook is not a fucking awful comedian.

[28:34] But it's, you know.

[28:36] But I actually totally agree with you, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[28:39] Yeah.

[28:40] And Jessica Alba, not funny.

[28:42] Really at all.

[28:44] But yeah, like, she tries, I guess, kind of.

[28:47] She makes you smile.

[28:48] She's game.

[28:49] Yeah.

[28:50] She's game.

[28:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[28:51] She'll fall.

[28:52] She'll let, she'll, you know, trip over a penguin or two.

[28:56] Which, by the way, let's mention that her job, after, you know, following on the heels of Next,

[29:01] where Jessica Biel played a woman who taught Native American children at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

[29:09] Wait, that really happened?

[29:10] Yes.

[29:11] Yes.

[29:11] He made that joke during the movie.

[29:12] No, that was her job.

[29:13] I was referencing.

[29:14] In the movie.

[29:15] In the earlier film.

[29:16] That was literally her job in the movie.

[29:17] We have another bullshit movie job where...

[29:19] What did she teach them?

[29:21] About life.

Stuart Wellington

[29:22] How to smile at animals.

Dan McCoy

[29:24] But Jessica Alba in this movie is a, you know, a penguin technician at the zoo.

[29:31] I don't know if technician is really the word, but...

S2

[29:34] Is this podcast so professional I can't ask Stu to get me a beer?

Dan McCoy

[29:37] No, it's exactly that unprofessional.

[29:39] All right.

[29:40] But come on.

[29:41] I mean, like, that is a screenwriter's, you know, invention.

[29:46] Like, oh, we've got a lovable, you know, our female love interest has to have something cute that she does.

S2

[29:52] Right.

[29:53] She works with penguins at the zoo.

[29:55] But also on the heels of March of the Penguins and a million penguin movies, what's hot and marketable right now?

[30:01] Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, and penguins.

[30:04] How can we go wrong?

[30:05] It's like the scene in Back to School where, like...

[30:08] Which, by the way, is a hilarious movie.

[30:09] Yeah, I know.

[30:10] That's true.

[30:10] It's a hilarious movie.

[30:11] The one scene in it that doesn't work.

[30:12] And it makes no sense.

[30:14] It's a scene where Rodney Dangerfield has to do a science project.

[30:17] And it's Rodney in a science classroom wearing a lab coat with three chimps.

[30:23] And it's clearly not written.

[30:25] And the writers clearly were like, we're just going to put Rodney Dangerfield in a room with three chimps.

[30:32] How can this go wrong?

[30:33] Magic.

[30:34] And I'm 100% behind them.

[30:35] I feel like that's inexplicable.

[30:36] A lot of people are going to strike.

[30:37] It's the great comic miracle that that did not work.

[30:41] And I feel like this is the opposite of that, where they just...

[30:43] They said, what is going to be foolproof?

[30:47] Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, fuck it, penguins.

Dan McCoy

[30:50] I also want to point out that this came on the heels of Bob Saget's hit, Farce of the Penguins.

S2

[30:57] That's what I'm saying.

[30:57] Again, March of the Penguins.

[30:59] You put a penguin in a movie, some idiot was going to give you some money.

[31:02] And there are those two...

[31:03] It's a first-time director.

Stuart Wellington

[31:04] Yeah, there's those two moments.

[31:06] I mean, I think the penguins do get a few more laughs than our leads.

[31:10] I mean, there is the bit where Roger Ebert brings up the point where the penguin actually bites Dane Cook's character on the crotch.

[31:18] I would say directly on the penis.

[31:20] Directly on his penis.

[31:22] And then there's also...

[31:23] Perhaps thinking that it's a herring.

[31:24] Yeah.

[31:25] A herring?

[31:26] Oh, no, a herring.

[31:28] That makes more sense.

[31:29] The other bit is when the one penguin shits on the ice and then turns around and eats it.

S2

[31:36] Real penguin, real shit, turns around and eats it.

Stuart Wellington

[31:39] Which I think they...

[31:40] Yeah, I think you brought up, Rester.

[31:42] They were just filming and they're like, holy shit, we need to find a place in the movie.

[31:46] Like this comedy gold.

Dan McCoy

[31:48] Well, there's the Conan shit-eating duck.

S2

[31:50] You get seen the shit-eating duck on Conan.

[31:51] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[31:52] That briefly became a national phenomenon.

S2

[31:55] Right.

[31:55] And, you know, I think...

[31:57] But it's indicative of the whole movie and why the whole movie didn't work.

[32:00] Whereas in the Conan bit, in front of a live audience, they brought the duck out for a certain purpose.

[32:06] Right.

[32:06] And the duck ate its own shit and everybody freaked out.

[32:08] And then he came back and said shit-eating duck and...

[32:10] All right, it was a legitimate mistake.

[32:13] If you have a show with a live studio audience and something like that happens and it's awkward enough for that to happen...

[32:19] You can kind of bring that back and it can be...

[32:22] But, like, if you're shooting a movie with penguins and you're just doing nothing but shooting penguins all along, maybe a penguin's gonna eat his own shit.

Dan McCoy

[32:29] Wait, Rich, I don't understand.

[32:30] Are you saying that Good Luck Chuck was not filmed in front of a live audience?

[32:34] Because you're shattering the illusion.

S2

[32:36] Well, I'm trying to help those amateur filmmakers out there determine between which...

[32:41] When to keep the shit in and when to cut it out.

[32:42] Which, you know, when a bird eats its own shit, when is it humorous and when is it not.

Dan McCoy

[32:47] Right.

[32:48] Let's start wrapping this up.

[32:50] Let's talk about how the movie itself wraps up.

[32:53] Let's get into the end.

[32:54] I want to briefly, before that, give Rich kudos.

[32:59] Ten minutes into the movie, there is an Asian man singing karaoke.

[33:04] He's singing along to I Touch Myself.

[33:07] And Rich said, alright, I bet 20 minutes, 20 minutes more, we're gonna have a foul-mouthed granny character.

S2

[33:14] Foul-mouthed old lady.

[33:15] Yeah.

[33:15] It's like the ultimate crutch.

[33:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[33:17] And, sure enough, 30 minutes into the film...

[33:20] 33, exactly.

S2

[33:22] Did I tag it that close?

[33:23] I was that close?

[33:24] Yeah, you were that close.

[33:25] I saw a number of cliches that were so easy that I was like, if they don't do foul-mouthed old lady, I'll be stunned.

Dan McCoy

[33:31] And, on that note, I said that they were gonna end this movie with the running down the concourse in the airport to stop Jessica Alba flying away somewhere.

[33:40] And, in fact, that is how the movie ends.

[33:43] Perfectly.

[33:44] It's a perfect ending.

[33:45] Ladies and gentlemen, I guess this movie came out last year.

[33:49] In 2007, we're still using the stop the girl at the airport.

[33:54] Has that ever worked?

[33:55] Like in real life, or...?

[33:57] No, no.

S2

[33:57] Wow.

[33:59] I understand now why this is a trope in film.

[34:04] The two film hosts, in real life, I wish...

Dan McCoy

[34:07] Have been trying.

[34:08] Oh, man.

[34:09] King's failing.

[34:10] So many women have flown away to escape me.

S2

[34:13] I mean, I remember it being not very funny in the TV show Friends.

[34:17] I feel like I've seen it be not very funny a number of times.

[34:20] Well, it's not a funny thing to have happen.

[34:22] No, it's supposed to be the heartwarming...

Stuart Wellington

[34:24] Like somebody, like, slipping and falling on their crotch.

[34:27] Right.

[34:28] That'd be funny, right?

[34:29] I suppose.

[34:29] I mean, there's a lot.

Dan McCoy

[34:30] Unless we're watching the movie Airplane.

S2

[34:32] Yeah, I mean, that's...

[34:33] I didn't mean to use the word funny, but it'd work.

[34:37] Oh, wrong.

[34:39] Even in a cinematic way.

[34:40] I mean, for as crappy as the movie Titanic is, say, it works, and one can't deny that

[34:45] the movie works.

[34:46] Right.

[34:47] Is there a moment where the catch the girl at the airport thing works?

Dan McCoy

[34:51] I think if it's in a movie that's not good luck, Chuck, it could work.

[34:55] Yeah, but still, I can't think of a time.

S2

[34:57] How about a penguin biting a man in the penis?

[35:01] That works... I don't know.

[35:03] How many things that happened in the movie Good Luck, Chuck would be funny if they happened

[35:08] in other movies?

Dan McCoy

[35:08] That's sort of a trick question, because I feel like this movie was sort of a catalog of bad

[35:13] choices.

S2

[35:14] I think almost every single thing that happened in the movie Good Luck, Chuck, if it happened

[35:18] in another movie, say even direct... say one of Mel Brooks' worst movies.

[35:23] I'd say a number of gags, if they would have happened in this movie, if they happened in,

[35:28] say, Robin Hood Men in Tights, they may have had a greater chance of success.

Dan McCoy

[35:31] I like that you went to Robin Hood Men in Tights.

[35:34] Yeah.

[35:34] Like, that's the Mel Brooks...

S2

[35:36] I mean, if you say Blazing Saddles, it's not fair.

[35:38] Right.

Dan McCoy

[35:38] There's a foul mouthful lady in Blazing Saddles, but it's great.

[35:40] I guess you're saying, like, okay, Robin Hood Men in Tights is about as low as you're going

[35:44] to go on the Mel Brooks chain while still getting a few laps.

[35:47] Like, you can't go to... like, Dracula dead and loving it.

[35:50] You're like, oh.

[35:51] Oh, thank you, sir.

Stuart Wellington

[35:53] What's the homeless one?

[35:54] What's the homeless one?

[35:55] Life stinks.

S2

[35:56] Oh.

[35:57] That is...

Stuart Wellington

[35:58] Okay.

[35:59] Now, the thing is, I want to touch on, briefly, the subject of...

[36:03] McCoy's trying to wrap this show up.

[36:04] No, it's fine.

[36:05] I just want to touch on something, because I think it's really important.

[36:08] At least it's important to me, and it's important to...

[36:10] One of our ex-co-hosts, Mr. Simon Fisher.

[36:13] And that's...

[36:14] It's on the subject of shitty sex comedies.

[36:18] One of the things that drew me to this movie, if you could say such a thing, I guess like

[36:23] being drawn to, like, a corpse or something.

[36:25] Killed that corpse.

[36:27] It's...

[36:28] This movie reminded me of another movie from a number of years back, a movie called 40 Days

[36:32] and 40 Nights.

[36:34] Right.

[36:34] Which is arguably my least favorite movie ever made.

[36:38] That's the movie where Josh Hartnett's character decides to give up sex for Lent.

[36:42] He gives up a mortal sin for Lent.

Dan McCoy

[36:45] And, by the way, the movie in which he gets raped by a woman at the end of the movie and

[36:50] gets blamed for it by Shannon Sossaman's character.

[36:54] And no one...

[36:55] Lent...

S2

[36:56] I'm not a Catholic, but Lent is a month, right?

Dan McCoy

[36:58] Lent is a season on the...

[37:01] Well, they just count.

[37:02] It's 40 days long.

[37:03] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[37:04] Yeah.

[37:05] And he chooses to do this because he's just having so much sex that he just can't take it

[37:13] anymore.

[37:13] Like, he's just...

[37:14] He's having too much sex and it's not meaningful enough.

[37:17] And it's just like...

[37:18] I don't know what it is, but it's another perfect example of a movie where you're like,

[37:23] this hero's just too awesome.

[37:25] Like, I can't relate to the awesome woodsman that is Josh Hartnett.

[37:31] Right.

Dan McCoy

[37:32] If you start out with a problem that most people would like to have...

[37:35] Yes.

[37:36] The movie already has a strike against it.

[37:38] You're just...

[37:39] You're already angry at the protagonist.

Stuart Wellington

[37:41] I mean, it would be one thing if they genuinely were like...

[37:45] They took that in mind.

[37:46] They're like, oh shit.

[37:47] It would kind of suck if a bunch of women found out that I'm a good luck magical penis

[37:53] that will make them find, like, the person they want to marry.

[37:57] It'd be one thing if it was like, okay...

[37:59] This is the greatest thing.

[38:00] Awesome, and then slowly coming to realize that, like, oh, there's so much...

[38:04] There's such a thing.

[38:04] It's too much of a good thing.

[38:06] You know what I mean, guys?

S2

[38:07] And now I have magic aids.

[38:09] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[38:10] I have serious rug burn on my dog.

[38:15] So, yeah, I mean, I mainly need to bring up 40 dances for...

S2

[38:18] I just found my Gchat handle, by the way.

Stuart Wellington

[38:22] I mainly just...

[38:24] I made that segue simply because I want everyone to know

[38:29] that I hate 40 days and 40 nights.

[38:31] No, fair enough.

[38:32] And that if you see it in a video store, you should rent it

[38:36] and then throw it away.

Dan McCoy

[38:39] You should destroy it.

[38:42] The fine that you incur from the video store

[38:45] is nothing compared to the karmic payoff

[38:48] that the universe has given to you.

Stuart Wellington

[38:51] I know I'm saying that, like, this is going to come and bite me in the ass,

[38:54] but if you do that and you get fined,

[38:56] I will find a way to get you that money.

Dan McCoy

[39:00] I have similar feelings with the movie Nothing But Trouble,

[39:04] which I feel like is a movie where they...

[39:07] Dan Aykroyd was like,

[39:09] I wonder what would happen if I made Texas Chainsaw Massacre

[39:14] as a comedy,

[39:15] except it's just as disturbing as Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[39:19] So, don't watch that.

Stuart Wellington

[39:22] Yeah, the prosthetics he wears are possibly

[39:23] the grossest things I've ever seen in that movie.

[39:28] And Digital Underground does a live performance.

[39:31] Well, honestly...

[39:32] I'd just like to bring out that

S2

[39:33] we've watched maybe one of the shittiest movies

[39:35] I've ever seen.

[39:36] And I'm not kidding.

[39:37] And I've seen some shitty movies.

[39:39] This movie fucking sucked.

[39:41] This movie was bad.

[39:42] And you guys have just segued into, like,

[39:44] four other shitty movies.

[39:46] Now, is this because, like,

[39:49] there isn't enough shitty stuff to talk about in this movie?

[39:52] Or is this movie is just shitty and boring?

[39:55] I think it's because we would rather be talking about something else.

Dan McCoy

[39:57] And, frankly...

[39:58] You're just tired of talking about it because it sucks that much?

Stuart Wellington

[40:00] I could actually talk about...

S2

[40:02] How about fucking Dan Cook

[40:04] in an extended cunnilingus scene

[40:06] on a stuffed penguin?

[40:07] Sure.

[40:08] As the credit wrap-up.

[40:10] That guy, like,

[40:10] you don't even go Smokey and the Bandit bloopers.

Dan McCoy

[40:13] The movie ends with, yes,

[40:15] Dan Cook giving cunnilingus to a stuffed penguin

[40:19] and also, I believe, rimming the penguin, too.

[40:22] He turns it over.

[40:24] While Jessica Alba, I guess,

[40:27] is filming it and getting turned on

[40:28] because she loves penguins so much.

[40:30] So, think about that, podcast listeners.

[40:32] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[40:35] That's a nice final note you just dropped in there.

[40:38] Think about that one.

[40:39] And this is Dan for all things considered.

[40:42] Put that in your brain.

Dan McCoy

[40:44] And maybe if you have a penguin fetish, too,

[40:47] you can listen to this podcast and masturbate.

[40:50] Or watch the movie.

[40:51] Or don't.

[40:53] Better yet,

[40:54] throw it away.

[40:56] Rent it in.

[40:57] Also, throw good luck Chuck away.

[40:59] You know, normally at this point,

[41:01] we go through our final judgments

[41:03] where we talk about whether we would recommend this movie

[41:07] as a good movie to watch and laugh at,

[41:11] not recommend this movie at all to anyone,

[41:13] or say that we secretly kind of like this movie.

[41:16] But I think that we're all on the same page

[41:18] as really just hating this movie.

[41:20] So I don't even know whether we need to go through that final judgment.

[41:22] In agreement.

[41:23] I think it's an extraordinary train wreck.

[41:25] Yeah.

[41:26] But we were talking about this.

[41:27] I mean, a bad horror movie,

[41:29] or a bad action film,

[41:31] or a bad drama,

[41:33] the beauty of that is

[41:34] the fact that it's bad makes it funny.

[41:37] Most of the time.

[41:39] Sometimes it just makes it boring.

[41:40] But it can often make it funny.

[41:42] Whereas a bad comedy,

[41:44] the way it fails is

[41:46] it makes you bored,

[41:49] or it makes you uncomfortable,

[41:51] or it's just unpleasant.

[41:53] There's nothing more unpleasant

[41:54] than someone trying to get laughs

[41:56] and not.

[41:57] I mean,

[41:58] certainly you as a stand-up.

[42:01] I've never really experienced that.

[42:02] Yeah.

[42:03] Oh, ho, ho.

[42:03] Oh, like Dane Cook.

[42:05] I realized in the middle of that

[42:07] that my implication was that

S2

[42:09] you bombed all the time.

[42:12] No, you're absolutely wrong.

[42:12] No comedian goes through anything

[42:14] without having bad nights,

[42:16] terrible nights.

[42:17] And I brought it up earlier in the podcast,

[42:19] but it's true.

[42:20] I think that the real tragedy

[42:22] and what makes this movie kind of specially bad

[42:24] is there are moments

[42:25] where you can see Dane Cook

[42:27] whether you're a fan of what Dane Cook does or not.

[42:30] There are brief moments

[42:31] where you can see Dane Cook

[42:32] beginning to do

[42:33] whatever it is that Dane Cook does

[42:35] that's appealing.

[42:36] No, agreed.

[42:37] I don't think it's material.

[42:38] Carl Reiner and Steve Martin

[42:39] and the jerk.

[42:40] All right?

[42:40] Carl Reiner knew what was funny

[42:42] about Steve Martin

[42:43] and put the camera on him

[42:44] and allowed him to do that funny

[42:45] Steve Martin thing.

[42:47] That's what that movie is.

[42:48] That's why it's great.

[42:49] Whatever it is that Dane Cook does,

[42:50] whether you like it or not,

[42:51] the director of this movie

[42:53] put the camera on Dane Cook

[42:55] and then cut away from whatever it...

[42:58] So like, I didn't even allow me

[43:00] the judgment of seeing him do the thing

[43:04] that he may or may not do well

[43:05] and then say,

[43:07] fuck you, you suck.

[43:09] Which means it sucked and it sucked.

Dan McCoy

[43:12] It sucked and it sucked.

[43:13] Yeah, it was terrible.

[43:14] We'll put that on the DVD box.

[43:17] It sucked and also,

[43:18] in addition to,

[43:19] it sucked.

Stuart Wellington

[43:21] Yeah, it was really, really bad.

[43:22] I mean, I went into this

[43:24] knowing it was going to be bad.

[43:25] I mean, like, who didn't?

[43:26] I mean, one of the things,

[43:27] I actually...

[43:28] Sounds like a green beret

[43:29] going into Vietnam in 69.

[43:31] I knew it was going to be bad.

[43:33] But I just,

[43:34] I didn't expect it to be this bad.

[43:36] One of the things

[43:37] that I was fascinated

[43:38] about this movie by

[43:38] was when they started

[43:40] the ad campaign

[43:40] and initially,

[43:42] all the trailers

[43:43] focused on, like,

[43:45] the sex part.

[43:46] Like, oh,

[43:46] Dan Cook can't get enough pussy.

[43:50] And that was really off-putting

[43:52] and everyone was like,

[43:52] what the fuck?

[43:53] So I think, you know,

[43:55] the geniuses behind this film

[43:57] were like,

[43:58] oh, wait a minute.

[43:59] People don't seem that interested.

[44:01] And they completely switched gears

[44:04] and tried to focus on Jessica Alba.

[44:06] They're like,

[44:06] Jessica Alba, Jessica Alba.

[44:08] Isn't she funny?

[44:09] Isn't she game?

[44:09] Yeah, she's...

[44:10] Well, Jessica Alba

[44:11] keeps tripping over things.

[44:12] She's so clumsy.

[44:12] Isn't that cute?

[44:13] You probably want to see her

[44:14] in an entire movie, right?

[44:16] Only $10.

[44:17] So I thought that was

[44:18] really interesting

[44:19] that they, like,

[44:20] that they so obviously

[44:21] switched gears

[44:22] in their marketing events.

[44:24] And you know what?

[44:26] Neither of them

[44:26] really managed to capture

[44:28] the enormity

[44:30] of how shitty this movie is.

[44:33] And frankly,

[44:34] of the two of them,

[44:35] I mentioned this multiple times

[44:36] during the movie,

[44:37] Dan Cook

[44:37] walks and runs

[44:39] really weirdly,

[44:40] and I don't think

[44:41] that's an affectation.

[44:42] I think he's significantly

[44:43] more clumsy

[44:44] than Jessica Alba.

[44:45] That's a good point.

[44:46] I think he runs

[44:47] kind of retardedly.

S2

[44:49] I think

[44:49] he was the kind of guy

[44:51] who looked good

[44:52] like a jock,

[44:52] like he looked like

[44:53] he was a good looking guy.

[44:55] Like a Jerry O'Connell type.

[44:56] Sure.

[44:57] But then was not athletic

[44:58] as a child.

[44:59] Okay.

[45:00] And then developed

[45:01] this comedic thing

[45:03] where he would run funny

[45:05] and people would say,

[45:05] you can't run.

[45:06] You're not.

[45:07] And he'd say,

[45:07] no, no, I'm running funny.

[45:09] Oh, okay.

[45:10] And it's kind of fucked up

[45:11] his acting a little bit.

[45:12] A little bit.

[45:12] And like all comedians,

[45:13] I think, have a little...

[45:15] You're making me feel

[45:16] a lot of sympathy

[45:16] for Dan Cook now.

[45:18] Anybody who tries

[45:20] to get laughs for a living

[45:21] has had some fucking problems.

[45:23] And I'm just hypothesizing.

[45:26] They're trying to make...

[45:27] I mean, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[45:29] So we spent a lot of time

[45:30] talking about how bad

[45:31] this movie is.

[45:32] We've all agreed it's bad.

[45:33] Yeah.

[45:34] Let's move forward, Dan.

[45:35] Let's move.

[45:36] Let's leave shitty town

[45:37] far behind us.

[45:39] It's receding

[45:40] in the rearview mirror.

[45:41] Let's go to good town.

[45:43] Yeah.

[45:44] Hello, good town.

Dan McCoy

[45:45] Population us.

[45:47] And good movies.

[45:48] What are some movies?

[45:49] Yeah, this is the part

[45:50] of the show

[45:51] where we talk about

[45:52] some movies

[45:52] that we saw recently

[45:53] that we actually

[45:54] legitimately enjoyed.

[45:56] So I haven't gone

[45:57] personally.

[45:58] I'll go.

[45:58] Yeah, go.

[45:59] I actually borrowed

[46:00] from Stewart's

[46:01] A Silent Night,

[46:02] Deadly Night,

[46:03] which is a movie...

[46:04] That's the good one?

[46:06] I love it, too.

[46:07] I'm just...

[46:08] Look, I might have

[46:09] done my homework wrong.

[46:10] Well, we're not...

[46:10] We're not recommending

[46:12] Citizen Kane here.

[46:13] Okay, all right.

[46:14] We're recommending movies

[46:15] that we legitimately like

[46:16] for some reason

[46:17] that we saw recently.

[46:18] And if they are movies

[46:20] that are underrated

[46:22] or little seen,

[46:24] all the better.

[46:24] Okay.

[46:25] Because why do you have

[46:25] to recommend a movie

[46:27] that everyone's going to see?

S2

[46:28] No, no, sure.

[46:28] No, you're absolutely right.

[46:29] And Silent Deadland

[46:30] is cool.

[46:30] I'm just...

[46:31] I'm surprised.

[46:32] Go ahead.

[46:32] Sorry.

[46:32] I apologize.

Dan McCoy

[46:33] I've heard a lot about it

[46:34] but never had a chance

[46:35] to see.

[46:36] It was not...

[46:36] It had not been released

[46:37] on DVD for a long time,

[46:39] I believe.

[46:39] You could get, like,

[46:40] old VHS copies,

[46:41] but that was it.

[46:42] As far as I was able

[46:43] to ascertain via the internet,

[46:46] it barely got released

[46:47] the first time around

[46:48] because all these parents

[46:49] were incensed

[46:50] that there was a movie

[46:52] where Santa Claus

[46:53] was going around

[46:54] axe-murdering people

[46:55] and so...

[46:57] And raping, I believe.

[46:59] Well, yes.

[47:00] The evil Santa

[47:00] at the beginning.

[47:01] It's a different Santa.

Stuart Wellington

[47:01] There were two Santas.

[47:03] And he just ripsed his shirt open.

[47:05] He doesn't necessarily...

[47:06] We don't know for sure

[47:07] that he was raped.

[47:08] The mother in the beginning?

[47:09] Yeah, it's really strange.

Dan McCoy

[47:11] It's very strange.

[47:12] There's not actually

[47:12] a rape scene.

[47:13] It's been a while since I've seen it.

[47:14] It's just like,

[47:15] well, I guess I'm going to

[47:16] rip your shirt open

[47:16] and then slit your throat.

[47:18] Oh, you're right.

[47:19] I haven't seen this

[47:20] in a long time.

Stuart Wellington

[47:20] If that's rape, dude,

[47:21] call the cops.

[47:23] Because...

[47:23] Because Stuart does that

[47:26] every Thursday.

Dan McCoy

[47:28] No, but I...

[47:29] It's just...

[47:30] It's just a really

[47:31] sleazy movie.

[47:32] That would be murder.

[47:33] It's a really sleazy movie,

[47:34] but as we were talking

[47:35] about before,

[47:36] it's a movie that has

[47:37] the courage of the convictions

[47:38] and just goes all the fucking way

[47:40] and being sleazy.

[47:41] It's like,

[47:42] you know what?

[47:42] We're going to make a movie

[47:44] where an evil Santa Claus

[47:46] kills this kid's parents

[47:48] and then that kid grows up

[47:51] to be a Santa Claus axe murderer.

[47:53] And I had a good time

[47:55] watching it.

[47:56] So,

[47:57] if you're into that kind of thing

[47:59] and you're probably not,

[48:01] why not watch Silent Night

[48:03] and Deadly Night?

[48:03] I had a good time

[48:04] letting you borrow it.

S2

[48:05] Thanks.

[48:06] I've seen that.

[48:07] That was one of the movies

[48:09] as a kid obsessed

[48:11] with exploitation,

[48:12] slasher movies

[48:13] in the video store.

[48:14] Sure.

[48:15] I was very much

[48:16] into that movie

[48:16] and you're absolutely right.

[48:18] It's a B movie

[48:19] through and through,

[48:19] an exploitation movie

[48:20] through and through

[48:20] and it is what it is

[48:21] and it doesn't make apologies.

[48:24] Speaking of which,

[48:25] that might lead to

[48:25] my good movie.

[48:26] It's also a horror movie.

[48:27] I don't know if this

[48:28] is a good way to do this,

[48:29] but a movie I saw recently

[48:30] that I very much enjoyed

[48:32] and I was skeptical

[48:34] because it's a Japanese

[48:37] horror movie.

[48:38] Right.

[48:38] A lot of Japanese

[48:39] horror movies,

[48:40] I feel like it's

[48:41] just a one-syllable movie

[48:42] with a terrifying,

[48:44] wet,

[48:45] eight-year-old

[48:45] Japanese girl.

[48:47] You know what I mean?

[48:47] There's nothing,

[48:48] it's like,

[48:49] I don't know how spooky

[48:50] eight-year-old Japanese girls

[48:51] are to the general population.

[48:53] If you get them wet,

[48:54] are they scarier?

[48:55] If the movie

[48:56] only has one syllable,

[48:58] I guess that's horrifying.

[49:00] But I feel like I've been

[49:01] duped a number of times.

[49:03] You know,

[49:03] I think anything comes over

[49:05] from overseas,

[49:05] if it maintains the buzz,

[49:08] people are going to want to

[49:09] play it up and say it's great.

[49:10] So whenever people say,

[49:11] oh, here's a great

[49:12] Japanese horror movie,

[49:13] I'm skeptical.

[49:14] And this is a movie

[49:15] that I added to my Netflix queue.

[49:17] It's three different movies.

[49:19] It's called Three Extremes.

[49:21] Oh, my.

[49:21] If you guys have heard about this.

[49:22] I really liked it, yeah.

[49:23] Okay.

[49:23] And it's,

[49:24] to be honest with you,

[49:25] I didn't even see

[49:26] the third extreme

[49:27] because it was on,

[49:29] it's three directors.

[49:30] I was thinking

Dan McCoy

[49:30] you missed the Takeshi Miike part.

S2

[49:33] Yeah, the Takeshi Miike.

[49:34] I'm not a big fan

[49:35] of Takeshi Miike.

[49:36] He's one of those guys

[49:37] that I feel like,

[49:38] give me some titles.

[49:39] He's really awesome.

Dan McCoy

[49:40] Audition.

S2

[49:41] Oh, he's Audition?

[49:43] Yeah, Audition.

[49:44] I love Audition.

[49:44] Audition is my favorite one.

[49:45] He has a bit of

[49:46] The Vengeance.

[49:47] The Vengeance.

[49:47] Ichi the Killer,

[49:48] I was wild about.

Dan McCoy

[49:49] Gozu.

[49:50] Gozu's.

[49:51] Uh,

[49:52] Happiness of the Katakuris.

[49:54] That was really good.

S2

[49:54] Yeah, that was another one

[49:55] that I thought,

[49:56] I was,

[49:57] came in with very high expectations

[49:58] and was disappointed.

[49:59] I didn't know he was Audition.

[50:00] Audition is phenomenal.

[50:02] But regardless of,

[50:03] uh,

[50:03] of,

[50:04] uh,

[50:04] Miike,

[50:05] these three guys,

[50:06] uh,

[50:07] do these three movies

[50:08] and I had put it on my Netflix,

[50:10] it was rated very,

[50:11] very high based on a bunch

[50:12] of the other B movies

[50:13] that I had liked.

[50:14] So,

[50:14] it's not Three Extremes

[50:15] in particular,

[50:16] but it's,

[50:16] uh,

[50:17] the first short called

[50:18] Dumplings.

[50:19] Right?

[50:20] Absolutely blew me away.

[50:22] And I won't give away

[50:23] the premise of what it is,

[50:24] but the movie is called

[50:25] Three Extremes

[50:25] and you say,

[50:26] okay,

[50:26] how extreme is it gonna be?

[50:27] Let me tell you,

[50:29] this is extreme.

[50:30] It's deeply unpleasant.

[50:31] It's deeply unpleasant

[50:33] from,

[50:34] from a story perspective,

[50:36] from a film perspective,

[50:37] from a sound design perspective,

[50:40] it is gross

[50:41] and disturbing

[50:42] and bold.

[50:43] You know,

[50:44] I mean,

[50:44] if you're gonna go for

[50:45] Silent Deadly Night,

[50:46] if you're gonna go for

[50:47] some of these other,

[50:48] uh,

[50:48] extreme movies,

[50:49] I feel like there's lots

[50:50] of extreme things

[50:51] that will say they're extreme

[50:53] and it'll be just crazy gore,

[50:55] which,

[50:55] you know,

[50:56] is one thing or another.

[50:58] Uh,

[50:58] but I feel like there was a,

[50:59] uh,

[51:00] a Twilight Zone-esque

[51:01] story behind it

[51:02] that was more extreme

[51:03] than you would find

[51:04] and it really impressed me.

[51:05] I really enjoyed that.

[51:07] Yeah,

[51:07] good stuff.

[51:08] Three extremes.

[51:09] Dumplings.

[51:09] Fruit Chen.

Stuart Wellington

[51:10] Uh,

[51:11] okay.

[51:12] So,

[51:12] um,

[51:13] I've seen a bunch

[51:13] of good movies lately,

[51:14] but I don't think

[51:16] a single one that I've seen,

[51:17] it has been underrated

[51:18] in any way.

[51:19] They've all gotten a lot

[51:20] of critical acclaim.

[51:21] I saw like Three Teddy Yuma,

[51:23] that was great.

[51:24] I saw King of-

[51:25] Very good.

[51:25] I saw King of Kong,

[51:26] which was excellent.

[51:27] Heard it's good.

[51:28] But,

[51:29] what,

[51:29] I think it'd be better

[51:30] to recommend something

[51:31] that people might not have seen.

[51:32] And,

[51:33] for some reason,

[51:34] this Good Luck Chuck episode,

[51:36] we seem to focus on,

[51:38] uh,

[51:38] things that are maybe

[51:39] a little extreme,

[51:39] maybe a little exploitative.

[51:41] So,

[51:41] what I would like to recommend

[51:43] is,

[51:43] uh,

[51:43] this,

[51:44] once again,

[51:44] in honor of,

[51:45] uh,

[51:45] the person who showed it

[51:46] to me the first time,

[51:47] Simon Fisher,

[51:48] ex-co-host.

[51:49] And,

[51:50] it's,

[51:50] uh,

[51:50] it's a movie called,

[51:51] uh,

[51:51] The Story of Ricky,

[51:53] Ricky O,

[51:54] uh,

[51:55] which is a,

[51:55] uh,

[51:55] I think it's a Hong Kong,

[51:57] uh,

[51:57] action movie,

[51:58] and it's,

[51:58] hands down,

[51:59] the goriest movie

[52:00] I've ever seen.

[52:02] And it's,

[52:03] uh,

[52:03] it's,

[52:04] Have you seen Dead Alive?

[52:05] I have.

[52:06] It's,

[52:06] Wow.

[52:06] It's Dead Alive.

[52:07] It's,

[52:07] it's an insane movie.

[52:09] If you want to see a movie

[52:11] that you're just constantly

[52:12] baffled by how awesome

[52:14] and insane it is,

[52:15] and how gory and violent it is,

[52:17] Rich is writing this down,

[52:18] by the way.

[52:19] I just want to point this out.

[52:20] Yeah,

[52:20] and frankly,

[52:21] if you like,

[52:22] if you like insane gore,

[52:23] like somebody,

[52:24] punching somebody's head off

[52:26] sort of thing,

[52:27] uh,

[52:27] I recommend watching this.

[52:28] Yeah,

[52:29] I,

[52:29] I highly recommend watching

[52:30] The Story of Ricky,

[52:32] Ricky O.

[52:32] Uh,

[52:34] it's,

[52:34] yeah,

[52:34] it's amazing.

Dan McCoy

[52:36] Well,

[52:36] I think that what we've learned tonight

[52:37] is the,

[52:39] that the kind of guys

[52:41] who host a movie podcast

Stuart Wellington

[52:43] are also the kind of,

[52:45] uh,

[52:45] movie dorks who like

Dan McCoy

[52:46] exploitation,

[52:47] horror,

[52:48] and,

[52:49] um,

[52:50] extreme Asian cinema.

[52:52] Mm-hmm.

[52:52] So,

[52:53] I don't know that that's true.

[52:54] I think what it was

Stuart Wellington

[52:55] is that fucking Dane Cook

[52:56] and this fucking piece of shit

[52:58] got us so,

[52:59] like,

[52:59] got us seen fucking red.

[53:01] Like,

[53:01] we,

[53:01] all we want to see

[53:02] is things get torn apart.

S2

[53:04] Another point

[53:05] about this movie

[53:07] and how bad it was,

[53:08] we continually said,

[53:09] you know what would make

[53:10] this movie better

[53:11] if this extreme,

[53:13] horrible thing happened?

[53:14] I believe I said,

[53:15] if we actually saw him

[53:16] with his pants off

[53:17] fucking a grapefruit,

[53:18] that might be better than this.

[53:20] Right.

[53:21] Then we saw it

[53:22] and I was proved wrong.

[53:24] Ha ha ha.

[53:25] Well,

Dan McCoy

[53:26] you're,

[53:26] you're a big man to admit it.

[53:28] You were into the grapefruit thing,

[53:29] didn't you?

[53:30] No,

[53:30] I'm not.

[53:30] No,

[53:31] it was big of you to admit

[53:32] that you thought it was,

Stuart Wellington

[53:33] yeah,

[53:34] that you thought it was going

[53:35] to be better

Dan McCoy

[53:35] and it turned out

[53:36] that it wasn't better.

[53:37] To all 85 of our listeners,

[53:39] you're saying

[53:40] that your comedy judgment

[53:42] was wrong in that case

[53:43] and I'm impressed.

[53:44] It's a little bit of,

[53:45] a little bit of humility.

[53:46] I don't know that it was

S2

[53:47] looking for comedy,

[53:48] I was looking for entertainment value.

Dan McCoy

[53:49] Oh,

[53:49] right.

[53:50] Yeah.

[53:50] That guy fucking

[53:51] had a grapefruit.

[53:52] Not that entertaining.

S2

[53:53] Get in the right hands.

[53:54] Ha ha ha.

Dan McCoy

[53:56] If Hitchcock was doing it.

[53:57] Ha ha ha.

[53:59] Da da,

[54:00] da da da da da da.

S2

[54:01] Ha ha ha.

[54:02] Well,

Dan McCoy

[54:04] on that note,

[54:05] the funeral march

[54:06] of a marionette

[54:07] echoing in our ears.

[54:09] Ha ha ha.

[54:09] And then the woman

[54:10] cooked the grapefruit

S2

[54:11] for the cops.

[54:12] Ha ha ha.

[54:13] And they never knew

[54:15] where their murder weapon went.

Dan McCoy

[54:16] Thank you,

[54:17] Roald Dahl.

[54:18] Ha ha ha.

[54:20] Well,

[54:20] for the Flophouse,

[54:22] I've been Dan McCoy.

[54:24] I've been Stuart Wellington.

S2

[54:27] I'm very happy

[54:27] to have been guesting

[54:28] with you guys.

[54:29] It's been a lot of fun.

[54:29] I'm Rich Duncan.

[54:31] Good night.

[54:32] Bye.

[54:35] Well,

[54:36] that was a delight.

Dan McCoy

[54:40] Light off.

[54:41] That's

[54:41] some podcast

[54:44] mood lighting.

[54:45] Settle in

[54:46] for some nice

[54:47] podcasting.

[54:49] Yeah.

[54:51] Ha ha ha.

[54:52] Are we on?

[54:52] This is how it starts.

[54:53] Yeah, well...

[54:53] We sort of ease into it.

[54:55] Okay.

[54:55] No, you take it slow.

[54:57] Yeah.

[54:58] You gotta spit on it.

Stuart Wellington

[55:03] That's what I would say

[55:03] if I was the sex-crazed buddy.

The Flop House: Episode Ten - Good Luck Chuck

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