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The Flop House Movie Minute #6 - Con Men
Transcript
Dan McCoy
[0:00]
And now, the Flophouse Movie Minute.
Stuart Wellington
[0:09]
Okay, I got however many hours to build armor.
Dan McCoy
[0:12]
Okay.
[0:13]
Alright, nerds.
[0:14]
With working repulsors.
[0:14]
Sure.
[0:15]
We all went to the New York Comic Con this year.
[0:17]
Yeah, we wore press passes, dude.
[0:19]
I did too.
[0:20]
So, Stuart, you and I went together.
[0:24]
Yep.
[0:25]
Elliot, you went the next day.
[0:26]
Now, I can only assume that you went dressed in some sort of sexy cosplay outfit.
Elliott Kalan
[0:33]
Well, pretty much, yeah.
[0:34]
I was a Japanese character called Kadakari, who is kind of a half-girl, half-cat, who dresses like a sailor who works for the UPS.
Dan McCoy
[0:44]
That sounds like someone on the internet would find it erotic.
Elliott Kalan
[0:47]
Yeah.
[0:48]
Hint, hint, letter writers.
Stuart Wellington
[0:51]
I didn't go as any of that shit, though I wish I did.
Elliott Kalan
[0:55]
No, I actually had a family dinner that night, so I was dressed nicer than usual.
Stuart Wellington
[0:59]
Oh, weird.
[0:59]
Went to the con.
[1:00]
So, people thought that was your cosplay, was dressing nicer than usual?
Elliott Kalan
[1:04]
They're like, oh, you're dressed up as someone with a job.
[1:07]
People there were like, nerd.
[1:09]
And you're like, you're dressed like...
[1:11]
You're dressed like zombie Wolverine.
[1:12]
Yeah.
[1:13]
That's one of my favorite of the costumes.
[1:14]
The guy went, Wolverine, that's been done.
[1:17]
I'm such a big fan of the Marvel Zombies series.
Stuart Wellington
[1:20]
I didn't see enough fat, futuristic samurais, but...
[1:24]
Wait, no, I saw a bunch of those.
Elliott Kalan
[1:27]
Do you see the girls who were just dressed like sluts, but not like characters?
[1:31]
Yes.
Dan McCoy
[1:31]
That was interesting to me, because I just like that schoolgirl is sort of an all-purpose
[1:36]
thing that women can dress up as.
[1:39]
Like, they can dress up as that going to the club.
[1:42]
They can dress up as that on Halloween.
Stuart Wellington
[1:45]
Or going to school.
[1:45]
Do that for Comic-Con.
[1:47]
Yeah, certain schools.
Dan McCoy
[1:47]
Yeah, or going to school or Comic-Con.
[1:50]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[1:50]
I wonder, like, those guys...
[1:52]
I'm not complaining.
[1:52]
Those guys who have the really fancy costumes, I bet they get, like...
[1:56]
I bet this is, like, second Christmas for them.
[1:58]
Or second Halloween, I guess.
Elliott Kalan
[2:00]
Or Hanukkah.
[2:00]
Or Hanukkah.
[2:01]
Oh, my mistake.
[2:02]
I will say that it's one of those things where it's like, these people are king of the
[2:07]
con.
[2:07]
Like, there was a guy in a Stormtrooper costume and...
[2:10]
The 501st?
[2:11]
Yeah, I think he was a member of the 501st, yeah.
[2:13]
And he was constantly being stopped for people to have...
[2:16]
And I saw the same guy would get stopped three times, four times in a minute.
[2:18]
Are you sure it just wasn't different Stormtroopers?
Stuart Wellington
[2:20]
Because there was a shitload of 501st guys.
[2:22]
It was different.
Elliott Kalan
[2:22]
Some of them were different guys.
[2:23]
But you would see the same guy get stopped for someone to take a picture with him.
[2:26]
Then seconds later, someone else would come up.
[2:28]
And it was so popular.
[2:29]
I saw this a lot.
[2:30]
To have your picture taken on your knees with your hands behind your head with the Stormtrooper
[2:33]
pointing his gun at your head.
[2:35]
And just like, uh, I'm about to be a skeet of a person.
[2:37]
Why the fuck didn't we do that, Dan?
Dan McCoy
[2:39]
I'm sorry.
Elliott Kalan
[2:40]
But I saw at the entrance to the con, there was a kid on his knees, hands behind his head,
[2:44]
Stormtrooper with a gun to him, and his dad completely taken a picture of him.
[2:48]
And the Stormtrooper blew his head off.
[2:50]
But it was like, this is right.
[2:51]
I'm glad I'm going to have a picture of my kid with a gun to his head.
Dan McCoy
[2:54]
Although I wonder, you know, you say that they're king of the con, but...
[2:57]
Blaster.
[2:58]
Blaster.
Dan McCoy
[2:58]
Blaster.
[2:58]
When do you think they snap?
[3:00]
Like, at what point do they just suddenly become furious when someone asks them for a photo?
Elliott Kalan
[3:04]
I'm saying in the last few hours of the con, when the Javits Center staff makes their announcement,
[3:08]
the Javits Center will be closing in two hours, they go,
[3:11]
No!
[3:12]
No!
[3:12]
I won't go back!
[3:13]
I can't go back!
[3:14]
This is my life now!
Dan McCoy
[3:16]
Oh, so you're saying that they love being photographed all the time.
Elliott Kalan
[3:19]
Oh, yeah.
[3:19]
No, they love the attention.
[3:20]
These people are usually kicked.
Stuart Wellington
[3:21]
I'd just like to point out that the Flophouse does not have a problem with the 501st.
[3:24]
Oh, no.
[3:25]
They're great.
[3:25]
Norwood is making fun of the 501st.
Elliott Kalan
[3:27]
If I had the time...
Dan McCoy
[3:29]
In fact, this member of the Flophouse doesn't even know what the 501st is.
Elliott Kalan
[3:32]
If I had the time and I didn't sweat profusely, even when I'm wearing a baseball cap, I would
[3:36]
join immediately.
Stuart Wellington
[3:37]
But aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Elliott Kalan
[3:40]
Yo!
[3:41]
Aww!
[3:43]
Hoisted by my own petard.
Stuart Wellington
[3:45]
I saw a Mark Texier, the guy who used to eat Ghost Rider.
[3:48]
I saw a Mark Texier, too.
[3:48]
He looks weirder than I thought.
Elliott Kalan
[3:50]
That's one of the things I love about comic conventions, is seeing what comic book creators
[3:53]
look like and realizing they're way older than you think they are.
[3:56]
Like, Steve Epting, who does Captain America now, he...
[4:00]
I always think...
[4:00]
I'm like, I'm not that familiar with his work.
[4:02]
He's probably a young guy.
[4:03]
No.
[4:04]
He's got a gray mustache, gray hair.
[4:05]
Like, you forget that these guys, if they're on a big title, have probably been working in
[4:08]
the industry for 20 years.
Stuart Wellington
[4:09]
I got a gray mustache, though, and I'm not that old.
Elliott Kalan
[4:11]
You don't have a gray mustache.
Stuart Wellington
[4:13]
Yeah, I do.
[4:13]
Back home.
Elliott Kalan
[4:14]
Boo!
[4:15]
In a jar.
Stuart Wellington
[4:16]
That's attached to a human face.
Elliott Kalan
[4:19]
That took a weird turn.
[4:22]
That's the strangest joke I've ever heard.
[4:24]
You get to see what, like, Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman look like.
[4:28]
And it's like, oh, when I was a kid, I was in love with characters created by some sort
[4:31]
of goth hippie monster biker and an accountant.
[4:35]
You know?
Dan McCoy
[4:35]
That's kind of how I would imagine them to look like.
[4:38]
Now, movie-wise, though, because this is a movie podcast.
[4:40]
Yeah.
[4:41]
Anything there?
[4:42]
We saw the Incredible Hulk panel.
[4:45]
Hulk panel, yeah.
[4:45]
We saw the panel.
[4:46]
And Tim Roth was there.
[4:48]
Oh, that's right.
[4:48]
I forgot.
[4:48]
He was Emil Blonsky.
[4:50]
Looking pained.
[4:51]
Looking pained at all the Comic-Con conventioneers just standing up and being like, I loved you
[4:56]
in Reservoir Dogs.
[4:58]
That first scene in Pulp Fiction is the most awesome thing in the world.
[5:01]
And he's just like, yeah, thanks.
[5:03]
Thanks.
[5:03]
That was a movie I was in.
Elliott Kalan
[5:04]
Well, he was also, I remember years ago he said he was not going to make another violent
[5:08]
movie like that because of the epidemic of violence among teens.
[5:12]
So I wonder if he's ashamed of having made those movies.
[5:14]
Yeah, I don't know.
[5:15]
The Planet of the Apes remake, I'm sure he wanted to talk about for hours.
[5:19]
Sure.
Stuart Wellington
[5:20]
Or I think being asked questions like, is this Hulk movie going to be a lot more like the
[5:26]
comic books?
[5:28]
Oh, no, Lou Ferrigno's right behind you.
[5:30]
Yay, Lou Ferrigno's here.
[5:32]
I have a cameo in the film.
Elliott Kalan
[5:34]
$10 per signature.
Stuart Wellington
[5:36]
The director was there too, who seemed to really have a...
[5:41]
Mary Letournier.
[5:42]
Yeah, he made the Transporter movies.
[5:44]
Mary Kay Letourneau?
[5:45]
Yeah.
[5:46]
Directed by Mary Kay Letourneau.
[5:47]
He made the Transporter movies.
Elliott Kalan
[5:49]
Oh!
[5:50]
Perfect Hulk material.
[5:52]
Yeah.
[5:52]
Probably better than Ang Lee.
Dan McCoy
[5:53]
Did you see any panels or anything like that?
Elliott Kalan
[5:55]
Unfortunately, I was there on a Sunday because I couldn't get there in the previous days,
[5:59]
so I missed most of the good panels, and I missed the one panel on Sunday that I wanted
[6:02]
to see.
[6:03]
But I did see a lot of movie merchandise around.
[6:06]
Hulk stuff, Iron Man stuff, some kind of 3D animated movie called Igor.
[6:11]
I don't know what that was about.
[6:12]
Oh, all sorts of wondrous things.
Dan McCoy
[6:15]
Well, because this is a movie minute and not a special supplementary episode all about
[6:20]
Comic-Con, we should wrap it up.
[6:21]
But I did want to ask what everyone's favorite thing they saw or heard at Comic-Con was.
[6:27]
And I'll say that mine was, as Stuart mentioned, Lou Ferrigno was a special guest.
[6:32]
And earlier in the con, I overheard a very excitable young man go,
[6:38]
I told you, he's here!
[6:41]
Lou is here!
[6:45]
And I enjoyed that very much.
[6:47]
Yeah, that was awesome.
Stuart Wellington
[6:48]
I think my favorite thing was seeing about 47 different Naruto's that Japanese...
[6:53]
There were a lot of Naruto's.
[6:55]
Yeah, of various shapes and sizes.
[6:58]
So I really liked seeing all those little Naruto's running around.
[7:01]
What are Naruto's?
[7:02]
It's some kind of Japanese character with shit painted on his face and crazy hair and a weird
[7:07]
bandana.
Elliott Kalan
[7:08]
Yeah, what does it sound like?
[7:08]
Come on.
[7:09]
Okay.
[7:09]
Fair enough.
[7:10]
And before I get to what my two favorite things were, I will say I saw the trailer for The
[7:16]
Spirit, the adaptation of that.
[7:18]
And it seems like Frank Miller, who's directing it, is going about it in the exact wrong way,
[7:23]
which is to make it a second Sin City movie and not kind of a fun, madcap, you know, crime
[7:28]
adventure.
[7:29]
Sure.
[7:30]
But anyway, that's besides the point.
[7:31]
Take that, Frank Miller.
[7:32]
Burn.
[7:32]
My two favorite, two most memorable moments were meeting Mike Diana, the only man who's ever
[7:38]
been imprisoned for his comic book work and who is, seemed like a strange fellow and draws
[7:44]
things that I, that if I, it's one of those things where if I read one of his books as
[7:48]
a kid, I probably would have had nightmares to this day about it.
[7:50]
And then being shaken by that and then walking away and seeing, hearing, all right, everybody,
[7:58]
it's time for the battle.
[8:00]
And wave after wave of lightsaber fighters coming up on stage at the back of the hall as
[8:05]
this huge audience of people sitting down applauded and cheered and being like, oh, okay, good.
[8:10]
There is hope in the world again.
[8:13]
There is a, there is a, a brightness there.
[8:14]
There are lightsabers inside all of us.
[8:17]
There is a Jedi Knight tournament force that shows up at the Comic-Con and fake fights.
Stuart Wellington
[8:22]
I think fake fight is an injustice.
Elliott Kalan
[8:25]
They're sorry.
[8:25]
They're real lightsabers.
Dan McCoy
[8:26]
Well, I think the moral of this story is the sort of guys who would do a podcast about bad
[8:32]
movies are also the sort of guys who would go to New York Comic-Con with press passes.
[8:40]
Stuart's very excited.
Elliott Kalan
[8:41]
I mean, I know about you guys.
[8:42]
I do work in the press.
[8:44]
I had a legitimate press pass, even though we would never cover that in a million years.
[8:48]
Yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[8:49]
No, I felt really cool.
[8:50]
Our legitimacy.
Elliott Kalan
[8:51]
I will tell you, the press passes were far easier to get this year than they have in past
[8:55]
years.
[8:55]
In the past years, they had your name and where you worked on them.
[8:58]
This year, it just had a number on it.
[9:00]
So, you could just hand it out to anybody.
[9:02]
And I, oh, this is, and here's the press pass story I heard.
[9:05]
Two of my coworkers went, and their, their forms had been lost.
[9:10]
So, they had to fill out new forms while they were there.
[9:12]
And my coworker told me that while she was filling out a form, a guy went, excuse me,
[9:17]
you were supposed to have a press pass for me?
[9:19]
I'm from aquafan.blogspot.com.
[9:22]
I guess an Aquaman fan site or something like that.
[9:24]
She goes, oh, well, can you spell that out?
[9:25]
We'll get the paperwork for you together.
[9:27]
So, not a high bar set for the press at Comic-Con.
Dan McCoy
[9:31]
So, everyone out there, go to aquafan.blogspot.com.
[9:37]
I may have forgotten the URL.
Elliott Kalan
[9:37]
Let's see if that's a real URL, yeah.
Stuart Wellington
[9:40]
Okay, let's see.
[9:42]
Aquafan.blogspot.com is underwater sex experience.
[9:52]
Huh.
[9:52]
Has anyone tried it yet?
[9:54]
There's only one post here, guys.
[9:56]
And it's just asking if anybody's had sex underwater and if it was awesome or something.
[10:01]
Yeah, this is really weird.
[10:03]
I'll see you next time.
[10:03]
Bye.
[10:04]
Bye.
[10:04]
Bye.
Description
The Flop House makes a foray into near-journalism and visits the NY ComiCon.
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