The Flop House: Episode #16 - Alien vs. Predator: Requiem

Dan McCoy

[0:00] In this episode, it's the Flophouse vs. Alien vs. Predator 2.

[0:30] Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:33] Yeah, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:35] And I'm Lou Fernandez.

[0:37] Yes, Lou will be subbing in for us tonight.

[0:40] Regular co-host Elliot Kalin had some family business to attend to,

[0:45] but I welcome you guys to speculate on more embarrassing reasons why he couldn't be here tonight.

Stuart Wellington

[0:51] Diarrhea, probably.

Dan McCoy

[0:53] Stuart goes immediately to the potty.

S2

[0:57] I can only assume that he's getting a full back tattoo of some sort of icon that he likes.

[1:03] Maybe a smurf scene on his back.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07] I was going to hope you were going to go with Looney Tunes characters wearing their clothes backwards,

[1:11] a la Criss Cross.

S2

[1:12] Oh, nice. I haven't thought about Criss Cross in a while.

[1:15] They're going to make you jump jump.

[1:17] The Mac Dad will make you jump jump. They go in that order.

Dan McCoy

[1:21] Also, House of Pain will make you jump around.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25] I'm really impressed with your knowledge of hip-hop circa when I was a kid.

Dan McCoy

[1:31] Sure.

[1:31] Well, Lou, tell us a little bit about yourself before we get into it.

S2

[1:36] Oh, my goodness.

[1:36] Well, I'm extremely modest to start, but I'm an Irish-Puerto Rican gentleman born on the island of Puerto Rico.

[1:44] I'm going to start at the beginning.

[1:46] Sure.

[1:46] My parents.

[1:47] We literally have all the time in the world.

[1:49] All right.

[1:50] Well, I grew up in Manhattan.

[1:53] I went to school in Wisconsin.

[1:55] I went to school with the guy who was the focus of the movie, American Movie.

[1:59] Nice.

[2:00] Mark Borchert.

[2:01] Yes, Mark Borchert.

[2:03] Borchert.

[2:03] And I came back to New York in 96 and have led a mundane life here in the greatest city on earth.

Dan McCoy

[2:11] All right.

[2:11] And you do comedy improv, which is one of the reasons why you're here.

[2:16] Also, you got me my job.

[2:18] That's right.

[2:19] Which is another blackmail.

S2

[2:21] I hold that over your head in very obscure ways.

[2:24] I don't really force you to do things, but I remind you about it a lot.

Dan McCoy

[2:28] It's not that good a job, Luke.

S2

[2:29] No, I agree.

[2:30] You let me know that it's not good on a regular basis.

Dan McCoy

[2:33] Over Gmail chats.

[2:34] Yes.

[2:35] Well, let's get into the movie there.

[2:37] The movie that we watch.

[2:39] Wait, which movie was this one again?

[2:40] It was Alien vs. Predator Requiem.

[2:43] Hey, isn't that otherwise known as AVP2?

[2:46] Oh, this was Requiem?

[2:47] This was Requiem.

Stuart Wellington

[2:48] I thought this one was AVPR.

[2:52] What would the R stand for in that?

[2:54] Oh, Requiem.

[2:54] Okay, I get it.

Dan McCoy

[2:55] Yeah.

[2:56] There's no Requiem played at any point.

Stuart Wellington

[2:58] Yeah, what's the dictionary definition of a Requiem?

[3:01] Because I don't think we got that.

Dan McCoy

[3:03] Isn't it like a funereal composition of some kind?

Stuart Wellington

[3:06] So is it like the...

[3:08] A memorial song?

[3:09] Yeah.

[3:09] Is it the funeral of aliens and predators versing each other?

[3:12] I think it's...

[3:13] We can only hope that's what it memorializes.

S2

[3:16] For me, it would have represented a sad song about the money I had spent to see it if I had seen it in the theater.

[3:22] But...

Dan McCoy

[3:22] Well, let's talk...

[3:23] For a moment, let's take a little side trip down memory lane and just note that Stuart and I actually saw Alien vs. Predator 1 in the theater together.

[3:34] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[3:34] In the theater.

Dan McCoy

[3:36] And we did that, I think...

[3:37] Well, that's right.

Stuart Wellington

[3:37] We had our popcorn.

[3:39] We were really excited.

[3:40] We had really big drinks.

Dan McCoy

[3:42] I think we did that because we had both been pleasantly surprised by Freddy vs. Jason.

[3:47] Yeah, sure.

[3:47] And the fact that that movie was actually pretty cool.

[3:50] I mean, considering that it was a movie about Freddy vs. Jason.

[3:52] Always considering that.

[3:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[3:55] But it was the best Freddy vs. Jason movie you can imagine.

S2

[3:58] Freddy takes Manhattan.

[3:59] Or no, Jason takes Manhattan.

[4:00] Jason was the one to do it.

[4:01] Yeah, Friday the 13th part 8.

[4:03] But...

[4:04] But that one's not even as bad as Friday the 13th part 9.

[4:06] I'll admit that I had illegally downloaded the first Alien vs. Predator.

[4:11] Right.

[4:11] And then fast forwarded when I realized there were no aliens for the first 45 minutes until

[4:16] the pyramid stuff happened.

[4:18] Yeah, well, let's talk about...

[4:19] There's a pyramid that made me.

[4:20] Wasn't it?

[4:21] I thought it was...

[4:21] Was there or wasn't there?

[4:22] There was a pyramid.

Dan McCoy

[4:22] Yeah, what's the deal?

[4:23] I was going to say, let's talk about the ways in which this movie is superior to the

[4:28] first Alien vs. Predator movie.

[4:30] And I can only think of one thing, and that's that there's no, like, shape-shifting pyramid

[4:34] in it.

[4:35] The first Alien vs. Predator takes place in Antarctica.

[4:40] And there's a shape-shifting period that used to be used by...

[4:44] Period?

[4:45] Pyramid.

[4:46] Pyramid?

[4:46] Period?

[4:47] Period.

[4:47] Yes.

[4:48] The...

[4:49] Freudian slip, dude.

[4:50] The aliens are getting the period.

[4:52] And that's why they're so angry all the time.

[4:54] Nice.

[4:55] Now, there's a pyramid in Antarctica.

[4:58] You're misogynistic.

[4:59] I am the least misogynistic person on this podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[5:04] So why do you pick this movie?

[5:06] I do hate women.

[5:07] That's convenient.

[5:08] Because the bad guy is a queen.

Dan McCoy

[5:11] What I remember about the first movie, though, is the Predators built some sort of sacrificial

[5:16] pyramid at Antarctica where they would kill aliens.

[5:20] Wasn't it like a testing ground, wasn't it?

[5:23] For young Predators to go and...

[5:25] All I remember is that Lance Henriksen was in it, which was pretty cool.

Stuart Wellington

[5:28] Who?

[5:29] Lance Henriksen.

[5:29] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[5:31] He was in Pumpkinhead.

[5:33] Yeah, he makes pottery now, by the way.

[5:34] That's a callback.

[5:35] He makes pottery, like, professionally?

Dan McCoy

[5:37] Yeah, if you go on the internet, you can buy pottery made by Lance Henriksen.

[5:41] Is that star of the TV show Millennium?

S2

[5:43] Information in the credits.

[5:45] Yeah.

[5:46] Stop.

[5:47] Thanks for staying alien.

Stuart Wellington

[5:48] So wait, like, isn't he good?

[5:50] Is he like a potter in the same sense that, uh, who's that guy?

[5:54] Oh, crap.

[5:55] Like, the way the guy who plays Screech is a porno actor?

[5:57] Like, he does it on a side time?

Dan McCoy

[5:59] Well, that's out of desperation, wasn't it?

[6:01] Yeah.

[6:02] Yeah.

[6:02] The sex thing?

[6:03] He's a potter in the same way that Kevin Bacon is a rock star.

S2

[6:08] Oh, Kevin.

[6:08] That makes sense.

[6:09] That's...

[6:10] Is that an insult?

[6:10] That seems, like, mean, yeah.

[6:12] No, I've never seen the Bacon Brothers.

Dan McCoy

[6:15] I guess I'm just making an assumption.

S2

[6:17] Uh, I can't...

[6:18] I have to say the phrase alien versus pottery, but I don't know.

[6:22] It just was in my head.

[6:23] I'm sorry.

[6:24] You don't know why.

[6:24] I know.

[6:25] You just want to say it.

[6:26] I just had to say it.

Stuart Wellington

[6:27] So why are they versing each other this time, Dan?

[6:30] The first time was some kind of, like, an initiation, like a hazing.

S2

[6:33] But is this an actual continuation of, like...

[6:36] Because the movie starts with, if you hadn't seen the pre-requium or whatever,

[6:41] the first one, you wouldn't...

[6:43] I would have...

[6:43] A prelude to the requium.

[6:44] Yes, I didn't see...

Stuart Wellington

[6:46] And then some horrible turn of events leads you to actually watching the sequel for some

[6:50] reason.

S2

[6:50] For no reason.

[6:51] And then, yeah, and then...

[6:52] Perhaps you're...

[6:53] It just starts with...

Dan McCoy

[6:53] Doing a podcast.

[6:54] Yes.

[6:55] Sure.

[6:55] And you're forced to watch Alien vs. Predator 2.

[6:58] This is probably the only way...

Stuart Wellington

[6:59] Now, I like to imagine that first Aliens vs. Predator movie, like...

[7:02] I imagine these Predators are going to, like, Predator University or something,

[7:07] and, like, you know, their first couple months there, they're like,

[7:09] we want to get into, like, the cool frat.

[7:11] And in order to do that...

[7:12] This is a hazing for the movie.

[7:13] They have to go through a hazing where they have to go to Earth to this weird,

[7:16] stupid pyramid and battle a bunch of aliens that are held deep within its, like,

[7:20] shape-shifting confines.

S2

[7:21] That's after they have to drink, like, three gallons of water and get stuck in a trunk

[7:24] for a week.

[7:26] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[7:26] And then somewhere in the process, the aliens get way out of hand.

[7:30] And then, of course, the rest of the movie happens.

[7:33] They don't really explain it because they don't really...

[7:35] They don't provide subtitles for those stupid Predators.

[7:38] So I have no idea what the fuck's going on most of the time.

Dan McCoy

[7:41] That's good filmmaking.

[7:42] Oh, right.

[7:43] You have to infer from the pure cinema, the wordless cinema, what the Predators want.

S2

[7:49] You know what I really like when they show, like, the Predator's face really close and

[7:52] they have, like, the vignetted light across its eyes so you can really sense the emotion

[7:56] that's going on behind its mask.

Dan McCoy

[7:59] Yeah.

[8:00] But I don't want to spoil the first alien v-Predator movie, but...

[8:04] It's pre-spoiled, Dan.

[8:05] It ends, I guess, with an alien bursting out of a Predator.

[8:11] That's how it ends.

[8:12] And that's how this movie begins.

[8:14] I mean, I guess we can assume the sequel picks up literally where the last one left off.

[8:18] It's sort of like Halloween 2 to the first Halloween.

[8:21] Or, like, Lord of the Rings.

[8:23] Right.

[8:24] Which is a proper sequel.

[8:25] Yeah.

[8:26] With the story.

[8:27] But the thing is, like, the idea, I guess, is that aliens, when they impregnate someone,

[8:32] when they burst out of your chest, they sort of take on your characteristics a little bit.

[8:36] That's why the aliens in Alien and Aliens are sort of vaguely humanoid, despite their huge phallic...

[8:44] Wait, wait, wait.

Stuart Wellington

[8:45] Who told you that?

[8:46] Did, like, HR Geiger send you an email?

Dan McCoy

[8:49] Yes.

[8:49] You...

[8:50] You...

[8:50] From whatever weird...

[8:52] HRG69 at gmail.com sent me an email explaining the way that the life cycle of an alien goes through.

[9:01] Oh, that's cool.

[9:03] And, uh...

[9:03] But, well, I assume, because here we get a Pred-alien.

[9:06] Like, the alien that bursts out of the Predator's chest turns into a Predator-Alien hybrid,

[9:11] which is basically just an alien with dreadlocks.

[9:14] And that weird...

Stuart Wellington

[9:15] And the weird vagina-than-tata mouth thing.

Dan McCoy

[9:18] Well, but the...

[9:18] But the original alien kind of had that already, with the internal mouth...

Stuart Wellington

[9:23] Yeah, but it didn't have, like, the weird, like, unhinging-like forepart.

[9:27] Spikes.

[9:27] Yeah, the weird forepart.

Dan McCoy

[9:28] Well, I don't know what vaginas you've been encountering, Stuart, but I don't think that they...

[9:31] They are terrifying.

[9:32] They have an unhinging forepart.

[9:34] Folks, I mean...

[9:35] Terrifying.

S2

[9:35] More...

[9:36] I guess the ones in the movie have more teeth than I'm used to.

[9:39] But, uh...

[9:41] I don't know.

[9:42] You're not saying the...

[9:42] But you're...

[9:43] Well, you're not...

Dan McCoy

[9:43] You're not saying the ones you've encountered have had no teeth.

S2

[9:47] If I ever see a toothless vagina, I don't know what I'll do.

[9:51] That's...

[9:51] That would just be alien.

[9:53] Yeah.

[9:54] So, on the subject...

[9:55] The Predator 2.

Stuart Wellington

[9:57] So, the aliens infecting the ship.

[10:00] That ship crash lands on Earth, of course.

[10:02] And then a predator ends up showing up later, right?

Dan McCoy

[10:05] I gotta say, that is the one other way in which this movie is superior.

[10:09] Like, I would say that the setup to this movie...

[10:12] Yeah.

[10:12] Is a better setup...

[10:14] Yeah.

[10:14] ...than the first Alien vs. Predator.

[10:16] Because I would rather see aliens and predators in, like, an actual habitated small town, like, any town USA...

[10:25] Yeah.

[10:25] ...than some weird pyramid in Antarctica.

[10:30] Yeah, that's kind of weird.

[10:31] Where people have to actively, like, go to find it.

S2

[10:34] Well, I don't know.

[10:35] I'm just thinking of, like, what...

[10:37] Where should we go with this next?

[10:39] What if...

Stuart Wellington

[10:40] What's the next step in this journey?

[10:43] Yeah.

[10:43] I remember...

[10:44] I remember...

[10:44] I mean, to build on what you were saying, Dan, I remember, you know, a couple months before this movie came out.

[10:49] And I, for whatever reason, just had not really been, you know, on the pulse of the Alien vs. Predator community.

[10:56] And I was at a bar...

[10:58] You weren't reading fan fiction.

[10:59] You were not on the forums.

[11:00] No, I wasn't.

[11:01] No, I wasn't.

[11:01] I was actually at a bar in Bennigan's.

[11:04] And I was talking to one of my bosses, and we were, you know, we were drinking.

[11:08] And he described one of the...

[11:10] Like, he described the trailer that was on the net that was, like, you know, it was restricted because there was a lot of gore.

[11:15] And he was describing it scene for scene.

[11:17] And we were both pretty drunk.

[11:18] And I think I was like, wow, that sounds pretty awesome.

[11:21] And it's too bad because it wasn't very awesome.

S2

[11:25] It was like, at any time, it was like, guess what?

[11:28] It's in Crested Butte.

Stuart Wellington

[11:30] That's the twist.

[11:31] And I did a spit take all over the bartender, and we got kicked out.

Dan McCoy

[11:35] Well, we're taking a long, circuitous route to explaining what this movie actually was.

[11:39] But I think that's because the movie doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

[11:43] That's true.

[11:45] Scenes follow scenes without a connective tissue.

[11:48] The same characters will appear in one scene and then the next scene.

[11:52] But you don't necessarily feel like there's been any, like, time-space progression between those two scenes.

[11:58] It's just that the same actors happen to be in both of them.

S2

[12:02] There's definitely a lot of feeling of, like, well, we've got this set up.

[12:06] Let's just shoot every scene here right now.

[12:08] It doesn't have to make any sense to get everyone on the set and shoot it.

[12:12] Especially, like, the hobos in the sewer.

Dan McCoy

[12:15] They're hobos that get infected with an alien.

[12:18] Basically, like, the aliens are really what I want to see more of.

Stuart Wellington

[12:21] Yep, those aliens are poor.

[12:24] They have really poor constitutions.

S2

[12:26] They're panhandling.

[12:27] I would have preferred that if, instead of being homicidal, the aliens come out and just resume their positions in the sewer with the dog.

[12:36] In society.

Dan McCoy

[12:37] They just don't feel like they don't have a social standing to do anything.

Stuart Wellington

[12:42] No joie de vivre, right?

Dan McCoy

[12:45] But the aliens come down.

[12:47] They infect a kid and his father.

Stuart Wellington

[12:50] That was actually an awesome scene.

Dan McCoy

[12:52] Well, it's kind of awesome because this movie does have a sort of interesting disregard for the characters.

[12:59] And, you know, like, unexpectedly people will die.

[13:01] I mean, if you cared more about the characters, that would be cool because it would keep you off guard.

[13:06] As it is, it was kind of like the worst elements of, like, a Friday the 13th movie where you're like, well, basically everyone's going to die.

[13:13] So, I don't really give a damn.

[13:16] It was awesome when that dude's arm melted off really early on.

[13:19] Right.

S2

[13:19] In front of his son.

[13:20] I don't know if you noticed that was his wedding hand.

[13:25] I didn't notice that.

[13:26] That's very important detail.

[13:28] There was symbolism there.

[13:30] Yeah.

[13:30] There was some sort of a divorce motif.

Stuart Wellington

[13:33] Now, the problem with a movie that's this shitty is that I actually start, like, I start, like, picking on everything about the movie.

[13:43] Like, I'm just like, this is bad and this is bad.

[13:45] And, like, I actually found myself concerning myself with the strangeness of their choice to alter the biology of aliens.

[13:53] Yeah.

[13:53] Like, you know, I really don't give a fuck about aliens and, like, whether or not it takes a long time for a fucking alien pupae or pupae to fucking gestate inside a human.

Dan McCoy

[14:03] Now, you're challenging Dan's earlier statement.

[14:04] This is where you and I differ, Stuart.

[14:06] Okay.

[14:08] I feel that Alien and Aliens are two of, like, the best horror movie and, like, horror action film, respectively.

[14:19] Like Ice Pirates.

[14:20] I don't know what that is.

[14:21] Like the movie Ice Pirates.

[14:23] Sure.

[14:23] Okay, just build up.

[14:24] But I love them, and part of why I love them is I do feel like there's a lot of thought that's been put into the alien biology.

[14:31] Okay, you got these, like, the facehuggers hatch from eggs.

[14:34] The eggs have been laid by a queen alien.

[14:37] You know, like the facehuggers lay some other sort of egg inside of the host, and, like, then the chestbursters come out, and there you got your alien.

[14:46] These filmmakers don't have time.

S2

[14:48] Here, they're like, okay, I guess, uh, we don't need...

[14:52] I bet they're just like, people get it.

[14:55] They've got, like, people get it.

Dan McCoy

[14:56] Just go.

[14:56] There's a scene where, like, a regular alien puts its mouth over the mouth of a pregnant woman, and you see, like, things going down her neck.

[15:05] And then, um...

Stuart Wellington

[15:06] Those are baby aliens, I bet.

Dan McCoy

[15:08] I guess.

[15:08] And then chestbursters come out.

[15:10] I'm like, where's the facehugger, man?

[15:12] Oh, they're cutting out a step.

[15:13] You're cutting out like a middleman.

[15:15] There's a whole...

[15:16] But they can implant.

[15:16] There's no queen alien in this film at all.

[15:18] They can implant through the mouth.

[15:20] But there's no queen alien to lay the facehugger eggs.

S2

[15:23] What's that miniature mouth for?

Dan McCoy

[15:25] They've established a biology, and they've decided that they just...

[15:28] Just fuck it.

[15:29] Like, at this point, they're like, fuck it.

[15:30] At this point, we've got an alien fighting a predator.

[15:33] Fuck it.

[15:34] It could have done whatever it wanted.

Stuart Wellington

[15:36] We want the maximum amount of battling in this, and the weird biology slowing down the battles.

[15:42] Yeah.

[15:42] So, to better deal with it, let's have this alien be able to make out with humans, and by making out with them, they create aliens in their pregnant bellies.

Dan McCoy

[15:51] Maybe that's a symbol for something.

[15:54] Maybe this is like a pro-abstinence film.

Stuart Wellington

[15:57] I think you're right.

[15:59] There isn't any nudity in it.

S2

[16:00] There's almost nudity.

[16:01] There was one very hot ass in boy shorts.

[16:06] Boy shorts, sure.

[16:06] That's the definition.

[16:07] Although, that was the girl that we all pointed out.

[16:11] It was the unrealistically aggressive hot chick who was after the unworthy pizza boy.

Dan McCoy

[16:17] Let's really, really quickly go through the plot.

[16:19] Like, I'm just going to run through the plot.

[16:21] Aliens and predators come to Earth.

[16:23] Crested Butte.

[16:25] Meanwhile, this guy who's, I guess, sort of a punk kid comes back into town, and he meets up with the sheriff, who I guess used to also be a punk kid, but now they're on opposite sides of the law.

[16:34] And the punk kid is the older brother of the pizza boy who's in love with this unrealistically aggressive woman.

[16:42] And then aliens and predators come to town.

[16:46] They fuck everything up.

[16:47] Oh, also, meanwhile, the woman who played Michelle in 24 comes back from the war to find her husband and daughter.

[16:54] But, like, it really doesn't matter, because then they're just all, like, alien and predator fodder.

Stuart Wellington

[16:58] Yeah, I'm bored just listening to you, dude.

[17:00] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[17:01] I mean, there's some funny things that happen along the way.

[17:03] I mean, it's really funny.

[17:04] Like, the pizza guy comes, and he's, like, talking to his crush.

[17:08] He comes in.

[17:08] Yeah, that's by far the best part of the movie.

[17:11] He's delivering, like, four pizzas to his crush.

[17:13] There are, like, three, you know, central casting thugs on the couch.

[17:18] And he comes in, and he goes, and he puts the pizzas in the kitchen, and he makes the girl laugh.

[17:23] And he leaves.

[17:24] Oh, is that what the laugh was?

Stuart Wellington

[17:26] Yeah.

[17:26] I believe the joke was, I think I know who the extra sausage or sausage lover's pizza's for.

[17:33] I think that's a gay joke or something.

Dan McCoy

[17:35] Mmm.

[17:37] Homosexual panic.

Stuart Wellington

[17:38] Homosexual people like to eat sausage on their pizzas.

[17:41] Apparently.

[17:42] Italian sausage.

Dan McCoy

[17:43] So, he leaves, and then the evil boyfriend comes out and just, like, decks him and starts kicking him.

[17:51] Right.

[17:52] And then cruelly throws his keys into the sewer.

[17:55] And, Grant, like, let's make it clear.

[17:57] This joke was not made directly in front of him.

[18:00] It was actually in another room.

[18:02] Yeah.

[18:02] It's just, like, it's the most obvious version of the dick boyfriend movie cliche.

[18:09] And the whole thing, I guess, is just a setup for a reason that they go into the sewers later.

[18:13] Because he throws the keys down into the sewer.

S2

[18:16] But the sewer exploration serves almost no purpose.

[18:20] Because we've already seen the aliens infect the hobos.

Stuart Wellington

[18:22] They find an alien skin down there.

S2

[18:24] But they don't know what it is.

[18:26] And meanwhile...

[18:27] It looks like sewer...

[18:28] Like...

[18:28] Scum.

[18:29] Like an alien...

Stuart Wellington

[18:31] Like an alien condom is what we're talking about.

S2

[18:33] Or a dental dam.

[18:35] An alien dental dam.

[18:36] Well, you know, the vagina mouth that comes in handy.

Dan McCoy

[18:39] And meanwhile, we've got the predator coming down and, like, basically, like, tracking the alien.

[18:44] And it's this weird parallel storytelling where we've got the humans and we've got the predator tracking the alien.

[18:49] And the predator tracking the alien in this wordless sequence is kind of like...

[18:53] It feels like a detective story or something.

[18:55] Like, you sort of expect, like, the predator to be like, uh, Columbo or something.

[18:59] Now, one more thing, man.

[19:02] I noticed that, uh, there were two mouths on the...

[19:06] Like...

[19:07] Good one, dude.

[19:10] The weird thing about these movies, these predator versus alien movies, is it turns the predator sort of into the hero.

[19:16] Because the predator is a little more sentient than the alien.

[19:20] Like, it's a little more, like...

[19:21] At least it's got an ethos.

[19:22] Like, it's got a predator-based society.

[19:25] Like, a hunting...

S2

[19:25] I did, like, the, uh...

[19:27] The signal reaching the predator in his predator pad.

[19:30] Yep.

[19:31] Whatever that is.

[19:32] His lounge.

[19:32] And the overcomplicated TV that, like, comes out from behind the chair into his face so he can see whatever the thing...

[19:38] And then, and then next thing he's just like, I'm out.

[19:41] I gotta go do some Predating.

[19:44] Take the spaceship to Earth.

[19:46] Record speed.

[19:47] Because apparently...

[19:48] I'm outing.

Dan McCoy

[19:49] I got some Predating to do.

[19:51] That's the thing.

[19:52] That's why I can identify with predators.

Stuart Wellington

[19:54] Because if I was a predator, I'd want to go explore and investigate weird alien things.

S2

[19:59] Sure.

[20:00] But why only one?

[20:01] I mean, it was a spaceship full of aliens or predators that got taken out.

[20:05] Right.

Dan McCoy

[20:05] And why does the alien...

[20:07] Here's another thing.

Stuart Wellington

[20:08] Are you...

[20:09] Predators have dreadlocks, by the way.

[20:11] It helps me identify with them as being, like, people-like.

[20:14] It's the dreadlocks, I think.

[20:16] As being an oppressed person of the universe.

[20:20] Humans have dreadlocks sometimes, too.

[20:22] Sure.

[20:23] That's true.

[20:23] And they like to, uh...

[20:24] They like to, uh...

[20:25] Hunt things.

[20:27] Those are two human characteristics.

S2

[20:28] The funny thing is that I don't think of the Predators dreadlocks as, like, a black trait.

[20:32] I like to think of it as, like, a...

[20:34] Kind of a dirty white guy thing.

[20:36] Oh, okay.

[20:37] So you think that...

[20:37] White guy with dreadlocks.

Dan McCoy

[20:38] No, we went to a hippie college, so...

[20:40] Oh, really?

[20:41] I think that's a good thing.

[20:41] Like, so you're saying that, like, this Predator, on his off time, is, like, playing hacky sack and getting together with his friends in a park to play, like, arhythmic drums.

[20:51] And listening to, uh...

[20:52] But he smells like patchouli oil.

[20:53] Um, uh...

[20:54] Dave Matthews Band, maybe?

[20:56] Nice.

[20:57] God, I hope not.

[20:58] You hope that Dave Matthews Band is being broadcast down to the stars?

[21:01] Yeah.

[21:02] Not like the String Cheese incident?

S2

[21:03] I hope that somehow...

[21:05] Yeah, I really hope that that's not true.

[21:06] Because of all the music to get to space, Dave Matthews Band would be the last...

[21:10] You don't want him to be the, um...

[21:12] Our ambassador.

[21:13] Our ambassador to the stars.

[21:14] Yeah, I voted against him to be included on our, uh...

[21:18] Voyager probe.

Dan McCoy

[21:20] The weird thing, though, like, arguably, like, the one, like, really cool idea of this movie would be to see the Predator alien.

[21:27] Like, oh, man.

[21:29] Finally!

[21:29] A hybrid of my two favorite alien movie monsters.

Stuart Wellington

[21:33] If it's like a Frankenstein that's also a Dracula.

Dan McCoy

[21:36] But...

[21:37] There's no...

[21:39] Like I said before, it's just an alien with dreadlocks.

[21:42] It doesn't have any, like, correlation with the Predator.

[21:46] You know, it's just another type of alien that the Predator has to fight.

[21:50] Which we see in very dim light.

[21:52] Right.

[21:53] You know...

Stuart Wellington

[21:54] I think it's meant to add personality to one of the bad guys.

[21:57] So it's kind of like...

[21:59] So you're like, oh, wow.

[21:59] It's like Stripe and Gremlins?

[22:01] Yeah, absolutely.

[22:02] Nice.

[22:02] Well, like, in the first Aliens vs. Predator, there's that one Predator...

[22:06] Or the one alien that has the weird, like, net scar on his face.

[22:10] That's like...

[22:10] Makes it look like he's got a checkerboard face.

Dan McCoy

[22:13] I don't remember that movie at all.

[22:15] Oh, that happens.

[22:16] I remember Lance Henriksen and...

[22:19] He's in that movie.

[22:20] Like a pinhead from...

Stuart Wellington

[22:22] Yeah, kind of.

[22:22] I really...

[22:23] The thing I remember most about the first Aliens vs. Predator...

[22:26] And this movie didn't really have one of those moments...

[22:28] Was at the very end of the movie when your survivor, who's like a tough woman character...

[22:34] Who kind of teamed up with the Predator to kill the queen alien...

[22:37] They get done killing the queen alien...

[22:39] And they're standing there on this cliff.

[22:43] And they take a moment and they stop and look at each other.

[22:45] And every ounce of my being is like, they need to kiss right now.

[22:51] If they make out, I will go see this movie four more times.

[22:56] Buy it.

Stuart Wellington

[22:56] We'll be on DVD.

[22:57] Yep.

[22:57] I won't even buy it on DVD.

[22:58] I'll be like, projectionist, quickly!

[23:01] Let me buy this movie from you!

[23:03] Here's $500 loaded into my trunk.

S2

[23:06] Right?

[23:06] Doesn't the Predator only speak in samples that he gets from other people's dialogue?

[23:09] Oh, yeah!

[23:10] So he would have to say something that he'd...

Stuart Wellington

[23:12] He's like the guy from Police Academy, right?

Dan McCoy

[23:14] We were waiting for that moment of respect between human and Predator.

[23:19] Like at the end of Predator 2, when the Predator's like, oh, fair play, Danny Glover.

Stuart Wellington

[23:24] You got me.

[23:25] You got me.

[23:26] You got me.

[23:27] You got me.

[23:28] You got me.

[23:28] Oh, man.

[23:29] Oh, man.

Stuart Wellington

[23:29] Oh, so many good movies.

S2

[23:32] This was not one.

[23:34] This was surprising.

[23:35] I'm pouring juice and gin in all over myself.

[23:37] Oh, man.

[23:38] I'm so laid back that I'm dribbling.

Stuart Wellington

[23:42] You know, it's just shocking because like, you'd think that a movie with aliens and Predators

[23:47] in it would, it'd be hard to make me sad.

[23:50] Like, I'd be able to find at least something in it that I was like, man, that rock!

Dan McCoy

[23:54] This is what I'm saying.

Stuart Wellington

[23:54] Like, I'm not going to say that any of the aliens, like Aliens, you know, Alien 3 or

[24:00] Alien 4, I'm not going to say those movies are great, but at least there's something in

[24:04] all of them that I'm like, oh, wow, that's pretty cool.

Dan McCoy

[24:07] Even the bad.

[24:07] Well, yeah.

[24:08] Even the bad numbered alien movies have something interesting in them.

[24:12] Yeah.

[24:12] Like, we can all agree that Alien and Aliens are great.

Stuart Wellington

[24:15] Alien 3, you know, has some really, like, pretty pictures.

Dan McCoy

[24:19] Atmosphere.

[24:20] Atmosphere.

[24:21] It's an interesting place for it to happen.

[24:23] Alien Resurrection.

[24:24] Has, like, it's got that weird Frenchness, as you were saying.

Stuart Wellington

[24:28] It's got Michael Wincott in it.

Dan McCoy

[24:31] Sure.

[24:32] Ron Perlman.

[24:33] Yeah.

[24:34] Who I've discussed freaks me out.

[24:36] Yeah.

[24:37] Yeah, that's what I imagine.

[24:38] He would freak me out, too.

[24:39] If, like, Ron Perlman shook my hand.

[24:41] He's got giant body parts.

[24:44] I would feel like I would be crushed.

[24:46] Yep.

S2

[24:47] By the weight of his personality.

[24:48] Would you, you would be afraid that he would try to whisk you away to his sewer layer.

[24:52] Yeah, his layer.

[24:53] I would be lost in his leonine eyes.

[24:57] Yeah.

[24:59] I have to say that this movie included a lot of quickly introduced disposable characters.

[25:05] Yeah.

[25:05] It would be like the guy hiding, the mystery person hiding in the graveyard, smoking a cigarette with a pistol.

[25:13] And then he is decapitated.

[25:15] Which is the Predator's favorite way to kill humans is to blow their heads from the lower jaw up.

Stuart Wellington

[25:21] Which is strange for a race of beings that collect skulls.

[25:26] I would think that would be counterintuitive.

S2

[25:28] He doesn't really, oh, can we discuss why the Predator skins the dude for no reason?

[25:34] Do you know why?

[25:35] No.

[25:36] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[25:36] I don't.

[25:36] You're going to shed light on it?

[25:37] No.

[25:38] Well, I've done a lot of.

[25:40] Are you going to ask the listeners?

[25:41] Can you write in and send an email to I care about Predator skinnings at, no, Yahoo.

Stuart Wellington

[25:48] The subject of the email has to be, I understand why Predators skin humans.

S2

[25:54] Well, it's the only callback to the first Predator movie, which is a skinning or some sort of trophy collection.

[26:01] But it has zero going on.

[26:03] And it's also the only body, the first body he doesn't dissolve with his magic blue.

[26:08] Dissolving body.

[26:09] Dissolving powder.

[26:10] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[26:11] Well, also, you say shortly introduced characters.

[26:14] I would say also longly introduced characters.

[26:16] Like, spoiler alert, audience.

[26:19] Oh, no.

[26:19] Don't do it, man.

[26:20] The overly aggressive love interest of the pizza boy gets totally killed by a Predator flying disc.

[26:29] And that was the worst shocking moments.

[26:34] The pizza boy somehow survives an alien tail going through him.

S2

[26:39] I mean, like, not entirely piercing him through his bulletproof vest and coming out of his shirt.

Dan McCoy

[26:43] But granted, Lance Henrykson's character, Bishop, survived that in Aliens, but he was an android.

[26:49] Yes, thank you.

[26:50] Yeah, androids.

Stuart Wellington

[26:52] I want to touch on this overly aggressive love interest character because I thought it was really strange.

[26:56] Like, you know, you could have a pretty girl who's interested in your, like, kind of shy, nerdy guy.

[27:01] I can?

[27:01] Yeah, it can happen.

[27:03] Who's in Transformers.

[27:03] I would imagine.

[27:04] Like, I would imagine.

[27:05] Yeah, like, for instance, in Transformers.

[27:06] But the difference here is that, like, this girl is fucking, like, this girl is crazy aggressive.

[27:11] And she's unbelievably hot.

S2

[27:13] And she just breaks up with her boyfriend the same day.

Stuart Wellington

[27:16] Yep, and I think she breaks up with him so that she can do it with this guy who makes literally –

[27:20] So that she can bring this guy to the pool and strip for it.

[27:22] Because you know what's –

[27:23] This guy who makes literally no, like, actual mention that he's interested in this girl.

[27:27] And if I – you know, I've met some girls in my life.

[27:31] Easy girls?

[27:32] I've met a number of girls.

[27:34] And one thing I notice is that girls generally require at least some layer, like, either an intentional disinterest –

[27:40] You like to romance them.

[27:41] Or a little bit of – yeah, exactly.

S2

[27:43] They took care of that in their earlier scene where she told him when she broke up.

[27:47] They go through a long and obscure discussion about how he's looking over his shoulder at the clock.

Stuart Wellington

[27:52] Oh, did they – that happened?

S2

[27:54] Yes.

[27:55] Okay.

[27:55] Very important.

Stuart Wellington

[27:56] Okay, I'm sorry, the guys who made this movie.

[27:58] I'm totally wrong.

[27:59] You made an awesome movie.

Dan McCoy

[28:01] But you know what I have to say.

[28:02] Weren't they called the something brothers, by the way?

[28:04] The people who made this movie?

[28:05] The brothers Strauss.

[28:06] The brothers Strauss made this film.

Stuart Wellington

[28:08] Yes.

[28:08] That was a weird, weird choice.

[28:10] Weird choice to call themselves the brothers Strauss.

Dan McCoy

[28:13] How many brothers were there?

[28:14] I wonder if they –

[28:15] They were hoping that this was, like, going to launch their sort of Matrix career.

[28:18] Yes.

[28:19] Exactly.

[28:19] The Wachowskis.

[28:20] Yeah.

[28:21] Can they do no wrong?

S2

[28:22] There's nothing like making a second sequel of a not-good movie.

[28:27] Sequel.

[28:28] We're going to own AVPR.

[28:31] Yeah.

[28:31] And make it our own.

[28:32] That first –

[28:33] You're not going to forget the other ones.

[28:34] That first Alien vs. Predator was total bullshit.

[28:38] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[28:38] This is the Alien vs. Predator for the ages.

Stuart Wellington

[28:40] The ones that the fans want.

[28:42] If that's what the fans wanted, I'd like to have a conversation with those fans or possibly

[28:47] hope that they don't exist.

Dan McCoy

[28:49] Yeah.

[28:49] I feel like –

[28:50] Dude, I don't want to talk about this anymore.

[28:51] Yeah.

[28:51] No, I know.

[28:52] I feel like we should spoil the ending, but there's no ending to spoil.

[28:54] Well, like, some people get away.

S2

[28:56] Most people die.

[28:57] Yeah.

[28:58] I think I mentioned that it had the fifth grade easy escape ending where there's a nuclear

[29:04] explosion.

[29:05] Right.

[29:05] It was a nuclear explosion.

[29:06] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[29:07] No, they fucking dropped a nuke on the planet.

[29:10] Or the planet.

[29:11] They dropped a nuke on –

[29:12] That's a very –

[29:13] That's an accurate description of what happened.

[29:15] Part of the planet.

[29:16] A certain area of the planet.

[29:18] What's a nuke?

[29:18] A nuclear bomb?

[29:19] They dropped a nuclear bomb.

[29:20] Are you using jargon, Dan?

[29:21] On the town.

[29:22] I am.

[29:23] This is military jargon.

[29:25] And our heroes are going out in a helicopter, and somehow they survive this nuclear blast

[29:30] and the radioactive cloud.

[29:33] Yeah.

[29:34] And then at the end, we see –

S2

[29:35] Well, the electricity would have been knocked out by the MP from the nuclear bomb.

[29:39] Exactly.

[29:40] Sorry.

Stuart Wellington

[29:41] I grew up in the 80s.

[29:42] It's a special type of nuclear bomb designed with aliens and predators in mind.

S2

[29:45] Well, I have to say that that, for me, is one of those, like, buzzkills, because the

[29:51] whole movie is really about the predator trying to kill the aliens, and then just to –

[29:55] Oh, yeah, by the way, we could have just dropped a nuke the whole time.

[29:58] Sorry, everybody.

Dan McCoy

[29:59] In the middle of their fighting, a nuclear bomb killed them both.

S2

[30:02] Yeah.

[30:02] So guess what?

[30:03] Peace out.

[30:04] Humanity wins.

[30:04] That was a badass fight.

[30:07] The only way it could end is a nuclear bomb.

Dan McCoy

[30:10] See you at AVP3, suckers.

[30:14] Or was it the end?

[30:16] Question mark.

[30:17] I was a little bit surprised.

[30:18] That was a twist ending, though.

[30:19] I got to say, the twist ending was they take the predator technology to Miss Utani, making

[30:26] reference to Waylon Utani, the company from the alien movies.

S2

[30:32] But that's such a reference that I didn't get at all.

Dan McCoy

[30:36] Yeah.

[30:36] Well, that one's for the fans, dude.

[30:37] It's also –

[30:38] It's only for the fans.

S2

[30:38] Well, but also, like, they bring – it's not – they don't bring alien technology.

Dan McCoy

[30:42] And the dance.

[30:42] They bring predator technology to the company from the movie Alien.

Stuart Wellington

[30:47] Oh, maybe that teaches them to make better alien – I don't know.

[30:51] It's such a stupid twist, and it's such a, like, weird, like, Terminator ripoff, too.

[30:55] Right.

[30:56] Yeah, it would have been awesome if they'd have taken it to that guy, that Dyson guy from

[31:00] the first – from Terminator 2.

[31:02] I need to be like, you can use this to make Terminators.

[31:06] Wait, is that –

[31:07] He's like, this is good, because I'm not in a lot of movies anymore.

S2

[31:09] Terminator – you mean the brother from another planet?

[31:12] Was that –

[31:12] That the black guy from –

[31:13] Joe Morton?

[31:13] Yeah, from –

[31:14] Oh, nice.

[31:15] From Terminator 2, the guy who –

[31:17] Yeah, sure.

[31:17] The black gentleman.

Dan McCoy

[31:18] Brother from another planet with a great Fisher Stevens scene, by the way, Stuart.

[31:23] I know you're a big Fisher Stevens scene.

[31:24] Does he play an Indian guy?

[31:26] Yes, he plays an Indian guy.

[31:28] Or a giant robot.

Stuart Wellington

[31:30] Or a turtle.

[31:31] Does he play one of those two?

Dan McCoy

[31:32] He plays an elderly turtle.

[31:35] What does he play in that movie?

[31:37] He plays a street hustler.

[31:39] He actually has a really good line, which you and I – he says that he's going to do a

[31:44] final magic trick on the subway, and he's like, at 125th Street, he's like, I'm going

[31:49] to make all the white people disappear.

[31:51] Oh, that's right.

[31:51] And they get off the train, which is a good scene.

[31:54] That actually happens in 116th Street.

S2

[31:58] Yeah.

[31:58] All the white people get off the train.

[32:00] Yeah.

[32:00] Because they're going to school.

[32:01] They're students.

[32:02] Students at Columbia.

[32:04] Convenient.

Dan McCoy

[32:05] I forgot about that.

[32:06] Good stories.

Stuart Wellington

[32:07] So, I think it's time to have a final decision on this piece of shit.

Dan McCoy

[32:12] Yeah.

[32:12] For Lou's benefit, I know he has actually listened to the podcast before.

[32:16] Oh, nice.

[32:16] Huge fan.

[32:17] Thanks.

[32:17] Holy shit.

[32:20] We have three categories.

[32:22] That is, is this a good bad movie?

[32:27] A bad bad movie?

[32:29] Or a movie that you actually enjoyed in some way?

[32:33] So, Lou, as the guest, why don't you –

[32:36] I get to go first.

S2

[32:38] Sure.

[32:39] I'm going to say this is a bad, bad movie.

[32:43] I did not enjoy it at all.

[32:46] And it wasn't, you know, not enough fun stuff in it.

[32:49] I think the brothers Strauss should be ashamed of themselves.

Stuart Wellington

[32:52] This is really their worst work.

[32:55] Okay.

[32:57] Yeah, I'm talking to you guys out there.

[32:59] I know exactly what you're thinking.

[33:01] You know, you're in that video store and you're like,

[33:03] eh, there's nothing else out there.

[33:06] All the movies I really want to watch are rented out,

[33:08] like the Dungeon Siege movie and all that shit.

[33:11] So, you don't know what to do and then you're like,

[33:12] AVP Requiem?

[33:14] Eh, that might have some funny shit in it.

[33:17] Why don't we rent – oh, unrated version?

[33:19] Hmm, let's check it out.

[33:21] You shouldn't fucking do that, okay?

[33:23] Put that fucking video down.

[33:25] This movie is terrible.

[33:26] And I like really bad movies.

[33:28] And this one is really, really bad.

[33:30] So, please, you guys, I know what you're thinking,

[33:33] but please put it back and don't rent it.

Dan McCoy

[33:34] Yeah, I don't know really what I can add to that.

[33:37] I agree.

[33:38] There was a part of me that was still,

[33:41] even after Alien vs. Predator –

Stuart Wellington

[33:44] And all the bad reviews of this movie?

Dan McCoy

[33:46] Yeah, I was like,

[33:47] but it's a couple of bloodthirsty aliens

[33:50] do you keep me out.

[33:52] There's got to be something there.

[33:55] No, there's nothing there.

[33:57] Don't watch it.

[33:58] Imagine your own fight between Alien and Predator.

[34:01] Draw it.

[34:02] Draw it yourself.

[34:04] Imagine the drawing of it.

[34:05] Post it on your fridge.

[34:06] Look at it.

[34:07] Send it to the fan.

[34:09] Part of me just –

[34:09] Send it in.

[34:10] Send it to the flop house.

[34:11] We'll describe it.

S2

[34:12] Write your fan fiction, Alien vs. Predator,

[34:14] and send it in.

[34:15] Don't write erotic Alien vs. Predator fiction.

[34:19] Because none will compare to mine.

[34:21] It's way too hot.

Dan McCoy

[34:22] Don't write Alien vs. Predator slash –

[34:25] Or gash.

[34:26] Or gash.

[34:27] No gash either.

Stuart Wellington

[34:27] Hedger vs. Galien.

[34:28] No thank you.

[34:31] Oh, man.

[34:31] That's going to be good stuff.

[34:35] That's the thing.

[34:36] Like, and I was expecting this movie, you know,

[34:39] all the reviews were terrible.

[34:40] So you probably were never thinking, like,

[34:43] oh, this movie might be good.

[34:44] But it isn't even kind of like,

[34:46] this is kind of fun in a stupid way.

[34:48] It's just really bad.

S2

[34:49] It's hard to believe that they bothered to make posters for it,

[34:52] which I remember seeing,

[34:53] because it's not worth being released.

[34:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[34:56] Dude, I've watched a lot of shitty movies,

[34:58] and this one's really bad.

[35:00] Oh, we're just angry.

S2

[35:01] I did enjoy the thought of seeing

[35:04] In the Name of the King when I saw the trailer,

[35:07] silently.

[35:08] Yeah, that was my favorite part of the DVD.

[35:10] While Dan was trying to find the ropes.

Dan McCoy

[35:12] There were some great trailers for other movies

[35:13] that we assume were bad before the film.

[35:16] So maybe you could rent it for those.

[35:19] Yeah.

[35:19] If you like trailers,

[35:20] this one has great trailers, everybody.

Stuart Wellington

[35:22] Yeah, it'll get you pumped.

[35:24] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[35:25] So let's put that aside, though,

[35:28] and talk about movies that we've seen recently

[35:30] that we've enjoyed.

[35:32] Like, you know, just a recommendation.

[35:34] Like, whatever the fuck.

[35:35] A movie that we saw recently that we might like.

[35:37] I know this might be taking Lou by surprise,

[35:40] and he said earlier that he doesn't like movies.

[35:42] He doesn't see a lot of movies.

[35:44] You know, he's a family man,

[35:44] doesn't have time for a lot of movies.

S2

[35:46] I watch a lot of partial movies

[35:48] when they're on the HBO.

[35:51] A little home box office.

[35:52] Yes.

[35:53] I have the showtime and the stars.

[35:56] Nice.

[35:56] I watch a lot of the end of movies.

[35:59] So who's going first?

Dan McCoy

[36:00] Well, I was just going to say,

[36:01] let's go over to you, Stuart, first,

[36:03] and then we'll work our way around a little bit.

[36:04] Give him time to think.

Stuart Wellington

[36:06] Okay.

[36:06] I actually have two recommendations

[36:08] because I watched them both kind of recently.

[36:10] The first is I re-watched,

[36:12] because I didn't remember that I'd watched it

[36:15] until I started watching it again,

[36:16] and then I was like,

[36:17] holy shit, I watched this.

[36:19] I re-watched Fright Night,

[36:21] and that movie is fucking really good.

[36:23] That's a great movie.

[36:24] Man, it's like the score is awesome.

[36:27] The performance is...

[36:28] Roddy McDowell.

[36:28] Yeah, Roddy McDowell's awesome.

[36:30] Amanda Burse is really sexy.

[36:33] Miss Sarandon.

[36:34] Is fucking amazing.

[36:37] So sensual in that movie.

[36:39] Oh, it's amazing.

[36:41] So that was great.

[36:42] If you haven't seen Fright Night in a while,

[36:43] you should watch it again,

[36:44] because it's fucking really good.

[36:46] And then the other movie I watched recently

[36:47] is a French movie called Inside.

[36:51] It just came out on DVD a little bit ago.

[36:53] It got a fair amount of press.

[36:55] It's about a pregnant woman

[36:56] who gets attacked by this crazy woman

[36:58] who tries to steal her baby

[37:01] with a pair of shears.

Dan McCoy

[37:03] So what you're saying is

[37:04] if you are pregnant yourself...

Stuart Wellington

[37:06] You should watch this movie.

[37:07] This movie is fucking gory.

[37:11] Okay?

[37:12] I'm serious.

[37:13] If you want to watch a movie

[37:14] that's really gory,

[37:16] you should watch this movie

[37:17] because it is fucked up.

[37:19] It is gory as hell.

[37:21] And I don't say it like...

[37:22] It takes a serious movie

[37:23] to make me say that,

[37:24] but it is gory.

[37:26] So if you want to watch something

[37:27] that probably might make you sick,

[37:29] you should totally watch this movie.

Dan McCoy

[37:31] Nice!

[37:31] That's quite a recommendation.

[37:33] That's what we call

[37:34] a conditional recommendation.

Stuart Wellington

[37:35] It's basically like,

[37:37] if you think you like gory movies,

[37:39] let's see if you got the stones

[37:40] for this one, Buster.

[37:42] I like that you said Buster.

[37:44] Yep, that's my two recommendations.

Dan McCoy

[37:45] Well, I watched a movie

[37:47] the other night

[37:47] called Mr. Jealousy.

[37:50] It's a Noah Baumbach movie.

Stuart Wellington

[37:52] Oh, fuck that guy.

Dan McCoy

[37:53] What's your problem?

[37:55] Not Irma Baumbach.

[37:57] Not Irma Baumbach.

[37:58] He did The Squid and the Whale.

[38:01] That was good.

[38:02] And then his first movie

[38:03] was Kicking and Screaming.

[38:04] That sucked.

[38:06] Which I like,

[38:07] despite Stuart's off-mic insult.

[38:10] That's the movie about the people

S2

[38:11] deciding what to do with their lives.

Dan McCoy

[38:13] Yeah, deciding what to do

[38:14] after they left college.

S2

[38:15] I didn't watch that movie

[38:16] because I've been struggling

[38:18] with that question for 20 years.

[38:20] I didn't need to.

[38:20] Let movie suck.

[38:21] All right.

Dan McCoy

[38:23] Well, let's focus on Squid and the Whale.

[38:24] I thought Stuart liked that one.

[38:26] Mr. Jealousy.

[38:27] Mr. Jealousy.

[38:28] Mr. Jealousy was the movie

[38:29] that he made

[38:30] in between those two movies.

[38:31] Oh.

[38:32] And those two movies

[38:32] got a lot more attention

[38:33] than Mr. Jealousy.

[38:34] Mr. Jealousy was like

[38:35] his sophomore film

[38:37] that got sort of

[38:39] middling reviews

[38:40] and then he sort of

[38:42] disappeared for several years

[38:43] until he made

[38:44] Squid and the Whale.

[38:46] But it's a lot of fun.

[38:47] Like, it's a very underrated movie.

[38:49] I'm not going to say

[38:50] it's like this lost masterpiece

[38:51] or anything,

[38:52] but it stars Eric Stoltz

[38:55] and Annabella Sciorra

[38:57] and, you know,

[38:59] it's basically what

[39:00] the title would suggest.

[39:02] You know, Eric Stoltz

[39:03] is just a guy

[39:04] who's extremely jealous

[39:05] and he...

[39:06] Eric Stoltz.

[39:06] You mean Mask.

[39:07] Yes.

[39:08] Okay.

[39:08] I mean Mask.

[39:09] Yeah, please don't refer

[39:10] to him as anything.

[39:11] So, Mask follows

[39:13] Annabella Sciorra's

[39:15] old boyfriend,

[39:16] Chris Eichmann,

[39:17] into group therapy

[39:19] and pretends to be

[39:20] another guy

[39:21] just to find out

[39:22] information about

[39:23] the ex-boyfriend.

[39:24] And it's sort of

[39:25] like farcical,

[39:26] but it's pitched

[39:27] at sort of

[39:27] like a character comedy level.

[39:30] It's not so much

[39:30] plot-driven.

[39:32] But it's a really good movie.

[39:33] I would recommend

[39:35] seeing it

[39:35] if you like

[39:36] sort of

[39:36] indie comedies.

[39:38] And that's what

[39:39] I have to say about that.

Stuart Wellington

[39:40] And you know

[39:40] I like indie comedies.

[39:43] So, we set you...

[39:44] We just set you up,

[39:45] Lou.

[39:45] It's like T-ball.

[39:46] We set the ball for you

[39:47] and now you've got

[39:47] to knock it out of the park.

S2

[39:48] Oh, brother.

[39:49] Well, like Dan said,

[39:50] I don't see a lot of movies.

Dan McCoy

[39:51] I was forced

[39:53] to endure...

[39:54] To watch

[39:54] Alien vs. Predator 2?

[39:55] No, yes.

S2

[39:56] I don't know

[39:56] if you guys have seen

[39:57] this movie,

[39:57] Alien vs. Predator 2.

[39:58] I just saw it.

[40:00] So, you're recommending that.

[40:01] Okay.

[40:02] Interesting.

[40:02] When I was in...

[40:04] Oh, you know what I did see?

[40:05] What?

[40:06] I was in Puerto Rico.

[40:07] Oh, okay.

[40:08] My homeland.

[40:09] Yeah, you got it.

[40:09] But my aunt and uncle

[40:10] have these videos

[40:11] that my cousins leave

[40:13] and they left...

[40:14] Home movies?

[40:15] Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

[40:16] and the new one.

[40:17] Okay.

[40:17] Sure.

[40:17] Which I had vehemently

[40:19] been opposed to

[40:20] when I watched it

[40:20] and I did not enjoy it.

[40:23] I thought it was...

[40:24] I enjoyed it more

[40:25] than I thought

[40:26] I would like it.

[40:27] I think you missed

Stuart Wellington

[40:27] the point of this segment.

[40:28] You got to recommend something.

S2

[40:29] Oh, I'm sorry.

[40:30] I hate everything.

[40:31] Oh, okay.

[40:32] That's a problem.

[40:33] I didn't despise Jumper.

Stuart Wellington

[40:36] Oh, nice.

[40:36] No, recommend this place.

[40:37] It's fine.

Dan McCoy

[40:39] Yeah, I'd like you

[40:40] to justify this

[40:40] to our audience

[40:41] because we may do Jumper

[40:43] in a future plot house.

S2

[40:45] I don't want to jump in that one.

[40:47] Jumper is fun

[40:48] for the first 45 minutes

[40:51] where it's actually entertaining

[40:52] where he's actually

[40:53] living the life of the Jumper.

[40:54] So what you're saying

[40:55] is you recommend

[40:56] the first 45 minutes

[40:57] of Jumper.

S2

[40:57] Yes, then you should

[40:58] turn off the TV

[40:59] and do something in your house

[41:00] with your time.

[41:02] Maybe clean up

[41:03] the living room.

[41:04] Yeah.

[41:05] Maybe, you know...

[41:06] Maybe write a screenplay

[41:08] for Jumper 2.

[41:08] Draw a picture about Jumper.

[41:10] What do you think

[41:10] Jumper might do next?

[41:12] Because it's a more valuable

[41:13] use of your time.

[41:16] I have a whole book

[41:17] of what Jumper might do next.

[41:20] I think you do

[41:21] a lot of drawings of this.

[41:22] Yeah, you know...

[41:23] Jumper might go to the store.

[41:26] He can only...

[41:28] Which store?

[41:29] Well, he can only go places...

[41:31] Virgin Megastore, maybe.

[41:31] He can only go places he's seen.

[41:33] Oh, okay.

[41:33] So, you know,

[41:34] it's limited to that.

[41:35] But he's...

[41:36] So he's not going to go

[41:36] to a French store.

Stuart Wellington

[41:38] Like a D'Agostino's?

[41:39] He might.

S2

[41:40] Okay.

[41:40] If he has a hankering

[41:41] for a terrible experience

[41:43] in grocery shopping.

Dan McCoy

[41:45] No, I'm sorry.

[41:46] I'm thinking of Gristidi's.

[41:47] I'm sorry.

S2

[41:47] Yeah, sure.

[41:47] Gristidi's is terrible.

[41:48] That's good.

Dan McCoy

[41:49] But...

[41:50] Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[41:51] Wait.

[41:51] Gristidi's sponsors this show.

[41:53] Oh, my goodness.

S2

[41:54] Terribly affordable.

Stuart Wellington

[41:58] Terribly delicious food.

[42:01] It's terrible

[42:02] that I can't eat everything

S2

[42:03] from Gristidi's.

Stuart Wellington

[42:05] Oh, man.

[42:06] We had some laughs.

[42:07] So, jumper good.

S2

[42:08] Jumper, first 45 minutes good.

[42:10] I apologize for ruining

[42:12] this segment of the show.

Dan McCoy

[42:14] I would like to take a moment

[42:16] and say, by the way,

[42:18] if you watched The Daily Show...

[42:20] What's that, man?

[42:21] It's a popular television show

[42:23] starring Jon Stewart

[42:25] on Comedy Central.

[42:26] People say I look like him sometimes.

[42:28] Really?

[42:28] Yeah, sure.

[42:29] I can see that.

[42:29] I can see that a little bit.

[42:29] Yeah, thanks.

S2

[42:31] I like to draw it out of people.

[42:33] Sure.

[42:33] If it doesn't happen naturally.

Dan McCoy

[42:35] I can see it.

[42:36] I squint a little bit.

[42:37] Well, you saw it on a Thursday.

[42:40] Thursday, the...

Stuart Wellington

[42:41] What day is today?

[42:42] I don't remember.

[42:43] Yesterday.

[42:44] Please don't make me count

[42:45] the calendar days back.

[42:46] Oh, yes, yesterday.

[42:47] 15th, I think.

Dan McCoy

[42:48] Our regular co-host, Elliot,

[42:50] had a rather large cameo

[42:52] on the show.

[42:54] Wow.

[42:55] And you can see that

[42:56] by going to

[42:56] theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com

[43:00] thanks to the Comedy Central

[43:02] embeddable player

[43:03] of Daily Show Clips.

[43:05] Oh.

[43:05] We have the Daily Show clip

[43:07] with Elliot up there.

[43:09] So, if you're upset

[43:10] for some reason,

[43:11] if Lou didn't satisfy you...

[43:13] And I'm sure

[43:14] I have not satisfied you.

[43:16] If you want a little Elliot fix,

[43:17] you can go and see him.

[43:19] And he does a very funny...

[43:22] He corrects Jon Stewart

[43:23] about Wolverine.

[43:24] Wolverine.

[43:24] Don't ruin it.

[43:26] Let them see it.

[43:27] Don't ruin it.

[43:27] I'm just being vague.

[43:28] He corrects Jon Stewart

[43:29] about Wolverine.

[43:29] That's all I'm saying.

[43:30] In case you didn't know

[43:31] what he looked like.

[43:31] Which is really funny

[43:32] because, like,

[43:33] I have to say,

[43:33] when I was watching

[43:34] the segment on TV,

[43:37] like, you know,

[43:38] I taped it on, like,

[43:38] the...

[43:39] on my, like,

[43:40] Tivo-like thing.

[43:42] Is that a VCR?

[43:43] Or...

[43:43] A DVR.

[43:44] Okay.

S2

[43:45] It's a TV...

[43:45] It's a TVR-like thing.

Dan McCoy

[43:47] Yeah, I taped it

[43:48] and I was watching it

[43:49] and Jon Stewart

[43:51] makes this joke

[43:52] about Wolverine

[43:53] that is factually incorrect

[43:55] or at least factually incorrect

[43:56] in so much as

[43:57] anything about Wolverine

[43:58] can be factually incorrect

[43:59] since he's a fictional character.

[44:01] And I was thinking to myself,

[44:03] wasn't Elliot there

[44:04] to correct them?

[44:06] If anyone would correct

[44:07] the Daily Show staff

[44:09] about a matter of comics,

[44:10] it would be Elliot Kalin.

[44:12] And then, um,

[44:14] lo and behold,

[44:15] Elliot shows up in a cameo

[44:16] to do just that.

[44:17] I mean, yeah.

[44:18] That's pretty good.

[44:19] So, um,

[44:20] that was pretty good.

[44:21] So go to the website

[44:21] and check that out.

[44:23] I will.

Stuart Wellington

[44:24] Wait, what website

[44:25] was that again?

Dan McCoy

[44:26] It's, uh,

[44:26] theflophousepodcast.vlogspot.com.

Stuart Wellington

[44:29] I'll be right over.

Dan McCoy

[44:31] And if you wanted to email us,

[44:32] it's similarly named...

Stuart Wellington

[44:34] Wait, what's the email address?

Dan McCoy

[44:36] It's theflophousepodcast

[44:38] at gmail.com.

Stuart Wellington

[44:40] Hey, maybe I'll drop a line

[44:41] after I watch that

[44:42] embedded Comedy Central footage.

Dan McCoy

[44:44] Also, we have a Facebook group,

[44:47] so if you want to, uh,

[44:48] search for theflophouse

[44:49] on Facebook...

Stuart Wellington

[44:50] Maybe right on our wall.

[44:52] I wish I could join twice, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[44:53] I've already joined.

[44:54] Really?

[44:55] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[44:55] What about the MySpace?

[44:56] Are we on MySpace?

Dan McCoy

[44:57] We are also on MySpace.

[44:58] I know that's not as fashionable

[45:00] anymore with the kids.

[45:02] MySpace is...

[45:03] But we're on both.

[45:04] It's down market, Dan.

[45:06] Yeah.

[45:06] We're getting old.

Stuart Wellington

[45:07] Man, this was a good podcast.

[45:09] Um, I can't believe we talked

[45:11] this long about such a fucking turd.

[45:13] Hmm.

[45:14] Well...

[45:15] I think we should...

[45:17] It wasn't good.

Dan McCoy

[45:18] I think because we're so angry,

[45:20] we should leave our audience

[45:22] with some words of encouragement.

[45:23] Okay, what's that?

[45:25] I thought maybe you would have some.

Stuart Wellington

[45:27] Oh, wait.

[45:27] Why don't we come up with a list

[45:28] of movies that we might watch next time?

[45:30] That'll get people excited.

[45:31] Sure.

[45:32] Maybe like fucking Jumper.

[45:33] Or not.

[45:34] It's probably really good.

S2

[45:35] The first 45 minutes of Jumper

[45:35] before you begin drawing.

Dan McCoy

[45:37] I thought that maybe we would want

[45:39] to see that movie Untraceable

[45:41] about the internet that kills people.

S2

[45:42] I wanted to see that movie.

[45:45] I'll watch it alone.

Dan McCoy

[45:46] Well, you can listen to our podcast about it.

Stuart Wellington

[45:48] Yep.

[45:48] And then you can listen in on the guys.

[45:50] Us being the guys.

[45:51] Yeah, that sounds great, dude.

[45:52] Because I'm scared of the internet.

Dan McCoy

[45:54] Sure.

[45:54] The internet is new and scary.

[45:56] Or at least as new as anything

[45:57] that's like 20 years old can be.

Stuart Wellington

[46:00] Do you think there's going to be nudity

[46:01] in that movie, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[46:03] Diane Lane's in it, so maybe.

[46:05] But probably not.

[46:06] She got naked in that one movie.

Stuart Wellington

[46:06] In another movie with Un and Bull in it, right?

[46:10] Untraceable, unfaithful.

S2

[46:13] It's not really a bull.

[46:14] Don't worry about it.

[46:15] It's just an Un.

[46:16] Un.

[46:16] I'm just hoping that that movie

[46:18] has parts that are traceable

[46:19] because I will be drawing.

[46:22] You will be drawing what you hope

[46:24] being in the UN traceable.

[46:25] I wonder what would be traceable

[46:27] in this movie.

[46:27] I wonder what other adventures

[46:28] Diane Lane might get into.

[46:30] I'll send you pictures of me

[46:31] with a piece of paper up on the TV

[46:33] as I trace.

Dan McCoy

[46:34] If you Flophouse listeners

[46:35] have ideas of what Diane Lane

[46:38] might do on the internet,

[46:40] why don't you draw them

[46:41] and send them to us?

[46:42] Even better,

[46:43] imagine what she would do

S2

[46:44] if she were a jumper.

Dan McCoy

[46:45] Oh, nice.

[46:46] That's mixing them together

Stuart Wellington

[46:48] and then had to battle

[46:49] a shitload of aliens.

S2

[46:49] What would Hayden Christensen

[46:51] and Diane Lane

[46:53] in that movie?

[46:53] I don't want to watch that.

[46:55] He has shed Anakin Skywalker

[46:57] to be a man.

[46:59] Yep.

[47:00] A jumping man.

Stuart Wellington

[47:01] A jumping man

[47:02] that might get paralyzed

[47:03] and have an operation

[47:05] performed on him

[47:06] while he can still feel it.

[47:09] I'm still awake!

Dan McCoy

[47:11] They should have called it

[47:12] I'm still awake, by the way.

[47:13] Living whales.

[47:15] Well, we've come full circle

[47:16] with wheels within wheels.

[47:18] References to old episodes.

[47:21] Talk of Hayden Christensen.

[47:23] Talk of jumping.

[47:24] Talk of tracing.

[47:25] So I think it's about time

[47:26] to sign off.

[47:27] For the Flophouse,

[47:28] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[47:30] I'm Stuart Wellington.

S2

[47:31] And I'm guest host

[47:33] Lou Fernandez.

[47:35] Good night.

[47:36] Bye!

[47:37] Thanks for seeing

[47:38] or listening to me.

Stuart Wellington

[47:39] Dude, let's watch

[47:40] something good.

[47:47] Stuart, why don't you talk now?

[47:49] I think Diablo Cody's

[47:50] overrated.

[47:51] I thought Juno was

[47:52] kind of crappy

[47:52] to tell you the truth.

Dan McCoy

[47:53] Talk back close

[47:53] with a fucking microphone.

[47:54] Talk to me.

Stuart Wellington

[47:55] Okay, this movie

[47:57] kind of sucked.

[47:58] I didn't want to watch it

[47:59] for very long,

[48:00] but I had to

[48:00] because of this stupid thing.

[48:02] Okay, talk the loudest

[48:03] you're going to talk.

S4

[48:04] I can't believe

[48:05] I watched this movie.

[48:06] It licked my balls.

[48:07] Okay, that's fine.

[48:08] Thank you.

The Flop House: Episode #16 - Alien vs. Predator: Requiem

Transcript

In this episode

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