Ep. #441 - Spice World, LIVE

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hi, Floppers. Before we start this episode, I just wanted to remind you we are in the middle of FlopTV Season 2.

[0:06] That's right, the one-hour internet televised Flophouse TV show is here for you the first Saturday of every month through February.

[0:14] Just go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com and get your tickets or season pass for this all-new Flophouse TV stuff.

[0:22] We're covering movies we've never covered before. We've got video segments. It's amazing.

[0:26] Just go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com for FlopTV Season 2. This time, it's personal.

Dan McCoy

[0:33] On this episode, we discuss Spice World, live from Oxford, England!

[0:56] USA! USA!

Elliott Kalan

[1:11] Oh no! Wrong audience!

[1:15] You can talk to the most liberal, progressive audience in the United States. If you start chanting USA, it's like a switch flips in their brain and they can't stop it.

Dan McCoy

[1:24] That's the beauty of having three initials in your country name.

[1:29] Like, you know, there's many wonderful things about the UK, but it doesn't have the same rhythm.

[1:36] Okay. Calm down, sir.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39] This is an interesting hobby horse for Dan that I was not aware of ahead of time.

[1:43] I've got to take a heel turn in the second show.

[1:46] And now at the end of local news, a local citizen will have a chance to express his editorial.

[1:52] How come countries don't have three initials?

[1:56] Won't somebody step in and stop this?

Dan McCoy

[2:00] Hey, everyone.

[2:01] And welcome to the Flophouse.

[2:03] I'm Dan McCoy.

[2:04] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[2:05] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[2:06] Thank you.

Dan McCoy

[2:09] You got him back.

[2:11] This is a podcast where normally we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[2:16] Tonight, however, we watch Spice World.

[2:20] And we're about to talk about it.

[2:21] We're about to talk about it.

[2:22] Stuart, I believe you have the reins for this one.

Stuart Wellington

[2:24] Now, before we get into the plot of Spice World, which is dense and layered.

Elliott Kalan

[2:30] Did you guys see this movie?

[2:32] I think Tom Stopper did a rewrite on this one.

[2:34] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[2:34] Did you guys see this movie when it first came out?

[2:37] Did you see it in the theater?

Dan McCoy

[2:38] I didn't see it in the theater.

[2:39] I definitely watched it on home video because I liked the Spice Girls.

Elliott Kalan

[2:46] Some movies Dan preferred to watch alone at home with no one else in the room.

[2:52] And, you know, yes, I did.

Dan McCoy

[2:55] I saw it at the time.

[2:55] Elliot, though, I believe, saw it for the first time yesterday.

Elliott Kalan

[2:58] No, my first viewing of it was last night when we watched it en masse as a group.

[3:03] That's Latin for with mass.

[3:06] We all have physical being.

[3:08] And, yeah, I'd never say...

[3:09] When it first came out, I was not a Spice Girls fan.

[3:12] I just wasn't into that stuff.

[3:13] As I said to Dan's wife last night, when I was a teenager, my girl group was Elastica.

[3:19] And she said, who?

[3:23] No, I...

[3:24] Yeah, I loved Elastica.

[3:25] Yeah, great.

[3:26] But, I mean, they stole that one song.

[3:27] What are you going to do?

[3:28] Anyway, they...

[3:29] So, I had not seen it before.

[3:30] The Spice Girls were, to me, a gimmick.

[3:33] Nay, a joke.

[3:34] But now the scales have fallen from mine eyes.

[3:37] And I finally see, not through a glass darkly, but through a spice clearly.

[3:42] It's almost as if I can now see through space and time, thanks to a totally different spice

[3:48] on a totally different spice world.

[3:52] So, you're saying you spiced up your life.

[3:54] I did spiced up my life.

[3:56] They commanded every boy and every girl to spice up their lives.

[4:00] And I said, I'm a boy.

[4:02] I've got to do it.

Stuart Wellington

[4:04] Yeah.

[4:05] You're no longer a wannabe.

[4:08] Okay, that was labored, I admit.

[4:09] So, I, yeah, I didn't see this at the time either.

[4:14] I wasn't a, like, you know, I was a teenager.

[4:16] I wasn't a big Spice Girls fan at the time.

[4:19] I think part of it is that, like, watching it, I feel like it's a movie that works better

[4:23] now, almost.

[4:24] Yes, I agree.

[4:25] And I would say that, like, at the time, I didn't realize it.

[4:29] But, like, I feel like the Spice Girls were not, like, they were not male gaze-y in the

[4:34] way that I think I had expected, like, pop stars to be.

[4:37] I mean, their boobs are falling out of their shirt.

[4:39] I've heard a lot.

[4:40] But I don't know.

[4:41] Like, I feel like, like, I feel like they're sexy, as my wife was describing it, sexy more

[4:47] for, like, a teenage girl than for a...

Elliott Kalan

[4:49] They're, like, aspirationally sexy.

[4:51] Yeah.

[4:51] Like, you want to be a Spice Girl rather than be with a Spice Girl.

[4:54] Eminem can't decide which one he wants to impregnate.

[4:58] But for most guys, yeah.

[4:59] But I think there's a, the controversial thing I'll say about this movie, I think this movie,

[5:04] comedy-wise, is about ten years ahead of its time.

[5:09] Like, that's, the time, when this movie came out, what was the hit comedy?

[5:12] It was, like, something about Mary, you know?

[5:15] Uh-huh.

[5:15] Which is, it's like, ugh, gross, ugh, embarrassing, ugh.

[5:18] Whereas this movie is, like, random, random, non sequitur, non sequitur.

[5:21] You like that joke?

[5:22] Forget about it.

[5:23] It's gone.

[5:23] On to the next one.

[5:24] Yeah.

[5:25] Which is, like, that's comedy now.

[5:27] You know?

[5:27] They saw it way ahead of time.

[5:28] I mean, it's also comedy, like, 30 years earlier, too, so.

Dan McCoy

[5:32] And I also think, when you're saying it plays better now, part of that, too, is, at the

[5:36] time, critics, at least, were probably, like, ugh, this is a package thing that is, like,

[5:41] they're trying to shove this down.

[5:43] Like, why did the Spice Girls have a movie?

[5:45] Whereas now, it's just like, yeah, I remember the Spice Girls.

[5:48] I like them.

[5:49] You know, like, you have, there's, like, a little more perspective on it, where it's

[5:51] not, like, clouded by this idea of, like, weird authenticity.

[5:56] Yeah.

[5:56] You know?

Elliott Kalan

[5:57] I mean, and also the fact that when you turn on the radio now, one, what are you doing?

[6:01] Nobody listens to the radio anymore.

[6:02] But two, you don't hear the Spice Girls.

[6:04] So, when this came out, it was like, the world, we were living in a Spice World.

[6:08] It was everywhere.

Stuart Wellington

[6:08] I do like your, I do like your critic voice opens with a, ugh.

[6:11] It's just like, that's some shorthand for, like, don't, whatever I say, just discount

[6:16] it.

[6:16] Yeah.

[6:17] Okay, so, Spice World, the movie, opens with, uh, we get some credits.

[6:20] And what a cast.

[6:22] In addition to the Fab Five, that's right, the Spice Girls.

[6:25] We have, uh, man, everybody's in this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[6:28] Everybody in the world is in this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[6:31] You got Richard E. Grant.

[6:32] You got Alan Cumming.

[6:33] You got Roger Moore.

[6:34] You got George Wendt.

Elliott Kalan

[6:38] Mark McKee and Barry Humphreys.

[6:40] Consider, this is a, so, this is a movie, this is a Spice Girls movie.

[6:43] It does not need to have one of the kids in the hall, Dame Edna, not as Dame Edna, and

[6:48] riffraff from Rocky Horror in it, but they're all in it.

[6:51] Yes.

[6:53] Okay.

[6:53] And Richard E. Grant has so much screen time.

[6:56] It's fantastic.

[6:56] Yeah.

[6:57] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[6:57] He's great.

[6:58] And so, the movie opens with a performance by the Spice Girls.

[7:01] There's many of them.

[7:02] Who are they?

[7:03] Uh, well, we have Nelsie, Melby, uh, Emma, uh, Jerry, and Victoria.

Dan McCoy

[7:12] Okay.

[7:12] I really did.

Stuart Wellington

[7:14] Okay.

[7:15] And their personas.

[7:16] I got to rest.

[7:17] Now their personas, Stuart.

[7:19] We got Baby, Posh, uh, Scary, uh, Sporty, and, uh, and, uh, oh, Ginger.

[7:27] Yeah.

[7:27] You did it.

[7:28] You did it.

[7:29] Sorry I got distracted.

[7:30] Sporty's my favorite.

[7:31] I've said this before, but Sporty's my favorite.

Dan McCoy

[7:33] Sporty is, it's hard not to have Sporty as your favorite, I feel like.

[7:35] I do think that the movie, this movie best serves the Spice Girls who have, like, a clear

[7:41] bit.

[7:42] You know, where it's like.

[7:43] Okay.

[7:43] It's like Sporty, or Baby, like, there's like a thing to hang your hat on.

[7:47] Like, I feel like, uh, Jerry struggles more because it's like, well, her bit is she has

[7:51] red hair.

Elliott Kalan

[7:53] Yeah.

[7:53] Well, so they give her, they give her the characteristic of she's always spewing trivia, like factual

[7:58] trivia, and it's, it's a weird thing for them to do.

[8:02] I guess she's supposed to be like the brainy Spice, but also at least one of her trivia facts

[8:07] is wrong, and I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a joke or not, so.

[8:10] It got me so mad.

[8:11] I was almost as mad as I was during Stewart's erroneous dinosaur presentation was when I was

[8:17] watching it, and she's like, you know, the manta ray is the biggest fish, and I'm like,

[8:20] the whale shark is the biggest fish, Jerry.

[8:23] Ginger Spice, what are you teaching the girls of the world?

Stuart Wellington

[8:26] Yeah, LA was squirming in his seat.

[8:28] Okay, not for the same reason Dan was squirming in his seat.

[8:31] So, um, in the credits it does say, based on an idea by the Spice Girls, which is great.

Elliott Kalan

[8:39] Fuck yeah, everything.

[8:40] The idea seems to be, we're the Spice Girls.

[8:42] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[8:43] Um, okay, so, uh, it opens with like, uh, a performance in like a dinner club or a supper

[8:49] club.

[8:49] They got a band, they play one of their songs.

[8:51] Uh, we get a little bit of a taste of who they are.

[8:54] Uh, Sporty has some amazing solos.

[8:56] I love it.

[8:57] Okay, afterwards, the girls are rushing to their tour bus through the halls.

[9:01] They're accompanied by their manager, Richard E. Grant Clifford, who wears a lot of really

[9:05] great, uh, colorful, like, monochromatic suits.

[9:09] And, uh, he has a, uh, soul patch.

[9:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:12] Does a lot of acting.

[9:14] There was a period of time, I was, I was attempting to get an outfit to dress like Richard E. Grant

[9:19] for the show.

[9:20] I, I like.

[9:21] You should get it just for normal life, Dan.

[9:23] Yeah.

[9:24] There's a cheap green suit that I was having delivered to me because that was the best,

[9:29] that was like the most doable one.

[9:30] Because like the first Richard E. Grant, I'm like, what did he wear?

[9:33] And the first picture that came up was like a leather jacket with a leather tie.

[9:39] And I'm like, I don't think that's a look I could do.

Stuart Wellington

[9:41] A powerful but smelly outfit.

[9:43] Yeah.

[9:46] Okay, uh, the girls all, you know, they say hi to Elton John.

[9:50] They rush past a documentary crew that is following them, led by Alan Cumming.

[9:55] Uh, yeah, they, and they.

Elliott Kalan

[9:57] This is one, this is one of the few things that I feel like the movie

[10:00] fails to reach the potential of is that Richard E. Grant and Alan Cumming on the screen together.

[10:06] It never, it never achieves the sparks and the, and the action, you know, the, the high

[10:10] intensity acting that I want it to, of two, two indelible personalities slamming against

[10:15] each other.

[10:16] I think because Alan Cumming is, his character is a character who keeps getting, you know,

[10:20] pies in the face metaphorically.

[10:21] So he's just, it's, I want to see the two of them argue at some point.

[10:24] Maybe dance?

[10:25] Didn't happen.

Stuart Wellington

[10:26] Yeah.

[10:27] So he's like.

Elliott Kalan

[10:27] And also he has superpowers.

[10:28] I don't know why he's not just teleporting all over the place.

[10:30] That's the thing.

[10:31] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[10:31] Uh, yeah.

[10:33] So throughout the movie, he and his film crew are chasing the Spice Girls around trying

[10:38] to get, uh, footage and it doesn't really matter, nor is it the really jokey.

[10:43] No.

[10:44] Yeah.

[10:44] Uh, it's kind of weak.

[10:45] It's too bad.

[10:46] That's, I feel like there's a waste of potential, but that's fine.

[10:48] So they, I feel like, like a lot of things, it's like, no, don't worry about it.

[10:51] Just keep going.

[10:52] Uh, just like when Elton John wanders in and they're like, he has two seconds to film.

[10:56] So kiss him and get the fuck out of there.

Elliott Kalan

[10:59] What's so funny about it is they have the real Elton John and most of the scene is with

[11:02] his back to the camera.

[11:04] And I don't think it's because they used a stand in.

[11:06] I think they were like, we'll get the Spice Girls first, then we'll get the reverse shot

[11:09] with Elton.

[11:09] And halfway through the Elton shot, he was like, gotta go.

Stuart Wellington

[11:14] Okay, so they board their bus, they're in a double-decker, uh, Union Jack, uh, draped

[11:19] bus that is larger on the inside than the outside and a phenomenon that's never been explored

[11:25] in British, uh, entertainment before.

[11:27] So, and we get like an idea of their, like, personalities and their quirks.

[11:31] You know, Sporty is like on a, on a bike or like kicking a soccer ball, a football, sorry,

[11:37] shit.

[11:37] Um, they're talking, they're talking about astrology and I'm like, what?

[11:41] What sign is each girl?

Dan McCoy

[11:43] You unmasked yourself as an American.

[11:46] Oh, I know.

Elliott Kalan

[11:47] You could get arrested for doing that.

[11:49] I know.

Stuart Wellington

[11:50] Okay, and we learn at this point the, the, the ticking clock of the movie.

[11:55] And that's that they have a show coming up at Albert Hall, which I think I am inferring

[12:01] is a big deal.

Elliott Kalan

[12:03] Well, yep, you are, it is a major venue.

[12:06] I know that it takes a lot of holes to fill it.

[12:10] That's...

[12:10] Not as many as you think.

[12:11] They know how many.

[12:13] Mm.

[12:13] Yeah.

[12:13] And, and how do you get there?

[12:15] Uh, practice, practice, practice.

[12:17] Come on.

[12:18] Yes, it's the same directions to get to Carnegie Hall as Albert Hall or all halls, really.

[12:23] The halls of medicine, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[12:24] They built them on the same Indian burial ground.

[12:27] That's the...

[12:27] Practice, practice, practice.

Elliott Kalan

[12:28] Dan, I don't know if you know about the history of England, but there's...

[12:31] Oh!

Elliott Kalan

[12:33] Not a lot of Native Americans.

[12:35] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[12:36] Uh, okay, so now we cut over to, uh, George Wendt and Mark McKinney, uh, who are, I guess,

[12:43] film producers who see them performing on TV and, uh, or see them doing an interview preparing

[12:49] for their show, and they realize, you know what, there's something here.

[12:52] These girls have got it.

[12:53] Let's start, let's come up with a movie pitch.

Elliott Kalan

[12:55] Let's, let's, we can sell a movie with the Spice Girls.

[12:57] And Mark McKinney is, I think, the writer of the two, and he's wearing a Harvard shirt,

[13:00] which is a very funny touch.

[13:03] I feel like that's someone who knows, that's someone who knows screenwriters.

[13:06] They all went to Harvard, and they all want to tell you about it all the time.

Stuart Wellington

[13:10] Okay, so the Spice Girls are, uh, practicing for their show.

[13:14] They're doing a rehearsal, and it is interrupted, uh, by the arrival of their pregnant friend,

[13:19] Nicola, who is not a Spice Girl, and I was not familiar with her before this, but she

[13:24] seems like she's part of the gang who has gotten kind of pushed out of it, uh, due to

[13:29] life or having a baby.

[13:30] So the girls kind of cluster around her, they talk about it.

[13:33] Then they have a dream sequence, where they imagine what they'd be like if they were mums.

[13:37] Mm-hmm.

[13:39] Uh, and there's a couple of these sequences throughout the movie where the camera gets

[13:43] all swirly, and that's basically, uh, your cue to see a really good bit.

[13:48] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[13:49] I love, yeah, whenever something of this happens, I'm like, ooh, great.

[13:52] Because, like, like, the whole movie, like, the whole movie is padding, but in the best

[13:56] way possible.

[13:57] Like, nothing is relevant, so everything is beautiful.

Elliott Kalan

[14:00] It's, it's essentially a sketch movie.

[14:02] Like, they, they, I think at a certain point they were like, people really care about the

[14:06] plot of a Spice Girls movie?

[14:07] Like, like, let's, and the people who, the, the, the director I know at least of this was

[14:12] a long-time television comedy director.

[14:14] Like, he did the second series of Fawlty Towers, and he did most of Absolutely Fabulous.

[14:18] So it's like, I think there, and he did a lot of, uh, comic strip also.

[14:21] And so it's like, it's like, look, let's just do jokes.

[14:24] Like, this is what we're doing.

[14:25] And so I really like that they, they, they embrace that sketch aspect.

[14:28] I also think, again, it's not something that is presented as a joke, but it is very funny,

[14:33] the idea that a band has a best friend.

[14:36] Well, and she's like, their collective best friend.

[14:39] Oh, they're all her best friend.

[14:41] And she treats them like one undifferentiated mass that is all her best friend.

[14:48] And she walks in pregnant, and they're like, hi, and they break up rehearsal.

[14:52] And I remember, I'm like, I don't know the Spice Girls mythology, but is this like a character?

[14:56] Like, is she mentioned in the albums?

[14:58] Like, what is, it's great.

Dan McCoy

[15:00] Yeah, if you get the action figures, it's like, oh, this is the accessory.

[15:03] The Spice Girls best friend.

Stuart Wellington

[15:06] Yeah, which is the pregnant Barbie?

[15:10] Thank you, it's Midge.

[15:13] Okay, so, and we, we learn that there's an element of like, the Spice Girls worrying

[15:19] that they're losing touch with their pregnant friend, who has also been abandoned by the

[15:22] baby's father.

Elliott Kalan

[15:24] They don't go too deeply into that, which is probably the right choice for a Spice Girls

[15:27] movie.

Stuart Wellington

[15:28] Okay, so back on the tour bus, the girls are starting to kind of push back against the roles

[15:34] that they've been assigned by their names and interests.

[15:37] They want to be known as more than just the sporty one.

[15:40] So, because sporty also likes other things.

[15:43] So, that carries on to a photo shoot where they are being photographed by a photographer

[15:49] played by Dominic West from The Wire, which was really cool.

[15:53] And they decide to change it up and then they dress like each other.

[15:57] I thought this was pretty fun.

[15:59] Yeah.

[15:59] And not as racist as I was expecting it to get.

Dan McCoy

[16:02] I also enjoyed, you see this in a lot of movies, but I felt like it was especially underlined

[16:08] here that like, every time they did a freeze frame, it's like, that would have been a terrible

[16:12] photo.

[16:13] That's the one they picked?

[16:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[16:16] I don't know much about the real life Spice Girls.

[16:19] But the impression I get from the movie is they either are very good at faking enjoying

[16:24] being around each other or they do like being around each other.

[16:27] I don't know which it is.

[16:28] I don't want to know which it is.

[16:29] It's like Schrodinger's cat.

[16:31] I don't need to know if it's alive or dead, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[16:33] But I think that it almost doesn't matter at this point.

[16:36] Yeah.

[16:36] It feels like it's sold.

[16:39] Afterwards, they go to a press party with a few more British celebrities.

[16:45] Big celebrity cameos.

Elliott Kalan

[16:47] Should we talk about the cameos that didn't make it into the film?

[16:49] Because there are a lot of cameos in the movie, but there are a few cameos that were cut from

[16:52] the film before release.

[16:53] Should we talk about those now?

[16:54] Yeah, why not?

[16:55] Sure.

[16:56] Two big ones.

[16:57] There was apparently at least one scene with Gianni Versace, who unfortunately was murdered

[17:01] between the filming and the release.

[17:04] Unrelated to the movie.

[17:05] Unrelated, not because he was in Spice World.

[17:07] That was not the case of the Spice World killer.

[17:09] Baby tracked him down.

[17:11] Yeah.

[17:12] And of course, there was a cameo by Gary Glitter, who was brought up on charges between filming

[17:17] and release, and that was cut from the release of the film.

[17:20] Oh.

[17:21] So when you put a lot of cameos in your movie, you are dancing on a knife edge.

[17:26] You don't know what's going to happen.

Stuart Wellington

[17:30] Okay.

[17:31] So at this press party, their friend Nicola shows up.

[17:34] Their collective best friend, Nicola shows up.

[17:36] Still pregnant.

[17:36] They kind of, they're a little bit too busy to spend time with her, so she ends up leaving

[17:41] and they feel bad.

[17:42] I feel like I've missed a very important thing.

[17:45] The Spice Girls at this point have become so popular that they've drawn the negative attention

[17:50] of the local trade magazine, the daily newspaper.

[17:54] The tabloid.

[17:55] The tabloid.

[17:56] Yeah, yeah.

[17:57] Where the evil tabloid owner enlists his, what, number one fixer, played by Jason Fleming,

[18:05] and they bring in the ultimate paparazzo, played by, named Damien, played by Richard O'Brien

[18:11] from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Elliott Kalan

[18:13] And the editor is Barry Humphries.

[18:15] I can explain that, yeah.

[18:15] Wait, who plays the editor?

[18:17] The editor is Barry Humphries.

[18:18] Better known as Dame Edna, but not being Dame Edna in this.

[18:20] Oh, okay, okay.

[18:21] Yeah.

[18:22] So.

[18:22] Who's Australian?

Stuart Wellington

[18:23] They have decided they need to ruin the Spice Girls.

[18:26] And they'll stop at nothing to do it, and all of a sudden it starts raining in the office.

[18:30] It's kind of great.

Dan McCoy

[18:31] And I also love how, like, capricious this is, because it doesn't seem like there's any

[18:34] particular reason they want to ruin the Spice Girls, other than, like, there's a spinning

[18:39] newspaper where the headline's just, Spice Girls.

Elliott Kalan

[18:42] He has as much reason to destroy the Spice Girls as J. Jonah Jameson has to destroy Spider-Man.

[18:47] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[18:48] Although, he brings a certain...

Elliott Kalan

[18:49] Wait, Spice Girls.

[18:51] Sp-i-der-man.

[18:54] Sometimes words sound alike.

Stuart Wellington

[18:56] One thing I love about the editor's performance is how much he spits all the time.

[19:02] It's like he's fucking Denethor chomping on cherry tomatoes.

[19:05] I love it.

[19:06] Okay, so that's all kind of going on in the background.

[19:09] And at this press party, they get lured.

[19:12] Alan Cumming lures them into some questions for his documentary, one of which involves

[19:17] the Pope.

[19:18] And Jerry makes a comment about, is the Pope Catholic?

[19:21] And that leads to some bad press, where they publish a headline that the...

[19:26] Spice Girls are questioning whether or not the Pope is Catholic.

[19:28] And obviously, there's a minor uproar that doesn't seem to affect anyone other than Richard

[19:33] E. Grant.

[19:34] Yeah.

[19:35] Just makes him very stressed out.

[19:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:38] Richard E. Grant, yeah, is very stressed the entire movie.

[19:41] And I love the fact that he seems to be taking license of like, okay, I'm in Spice World.

[19:47] This means I can fulfill my dream of acting as hard as I ever have.

[19:54] Like, he is going for it in a beautiful way.

Stuart Wellington

[19:58] Yeah, would you say this is a small performance from him?

Dan McCoy

[20:00] His name is Richard E. Normus Grant.

[20:04] I read this article where Richard E. Grant was reminiscing about it that I sent to you guys

[20:11] as well.

[20:12] And he has so much affection for doing this.

[20:14] And I was so charmed by how much affection.

[20:16] And I was thinking about like, I love a thing that I think is very characteristic of British

[20:22] actors where it's like, we think of England, like, having actors having so much training,

[20:28] so much theater in their background.

[20:31] But they also just love being like, yeah, it's a job.

[20:34] You're going to pay me?

[20:35] I'll do it.

Elliott Kalan

[20:36] Yeah.

[20:36] And I love that.

[20:37] Like, it's so beautiful.

[20:38] Me, Dame Judi Dench, I'll be an elemental or whatever in your Riddick movie.

Stuart Wellington

[20:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[20:42] I'll tell Riddick how cool he is.

Dan McCoy

[20:44] Yeah, sure.

[20:44] Fuck it.

[20:44] I'll give it 110%.

Stuart Wellington

[20:46] And also, I do want to point out that Richard E. Grant is feeling stressed out because he's

[20:52] receiving both pressure and kind of strange advice.

[20:57] Cryptic aphorisms, yeah.

[20:59] From his boss, played by Roger Moore, who is stroking a different farm animal in every

Elliott Kalan

[21:03] scene.

[21:04] There's a scene later on where Roger Moore is giving this cryptic, very calm advice while

[21:10] he bottle feeds a pig.

[21:11] And the pig starts squirming in his hands, and he does not let on for a moment that this

[21:17] is going to bother him, that he has a squirming pig in his hands.

[21:20] That's a pro.

[21:20] And it's a pro.

[21:21] And it's also one of those roles where you're like, I know they shot all of this in one

[21:25] day on one set.

[21:27] And Roger Moore, like, you know, he probably just walked in, was like, what am I doing?

[21:31] Carrying a rabbit and then feeding a pig?

[21:33] Sure, whatever.

[21:35] They're like, you have to wear a silk robe.

Stuart Wellington

[21:37] Oh, you're already wearing one?

[21:38] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[21:40] And at the very end of the day, he goes...

[21:40] You brought your one from home?

[21:42] And then it's just, cheers, fellas.

[21:43] And then back to his life, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[21:45] Okay, so after this snafu about the Pope, they end up flying to Milan to participate in a photo

[21:52] shoot where they bring in a group of scantily clad men, and the girls object to it.

[21:58] So then they put on different outfits on those men.

[22:01] And Richard E. Grant gets to have a good argument with the Italian director.

[22:05] It's fun.

Elliott Kalan

[22:05] It's a borderline offensive depiction of an Italian.

Stuart Wellington

[22:10] I don't think it's offensive to do an Italian, like, do that.

Dan McCoy

[22:13] But it pays off with men dancing in buttless pants.

[22:16] So everyone's happy.

Stuart Wellington

[22:18] Yeah, international male catalog quality outfits.

[22:21] Okay, so they fly back.

[22:24] Apparently as soon as they land, they end up boarding their tour bus, and the bathrooms

[22:29] on the bus break down.

Elliott Kalan

[22:30] So the Milan thing is not related to the Pope thing, right?

Stuart Wellington

[22:34] It has nothing to do, but it feels weird to happen right after.

Elliott Kalan

[22:36] Yeah, well, I wonder if at any point they were like, should we make it explicit that they're

[22:39] doing this show in Milan in order to get back in with the Italian audience after offending

[22:44] people about the Pope?

[22:44] And they were just like, do we give a shit?

[22:48] Just get them over there.

Stuart Wellington

[22:50] Come on.

[22:51] So speaking of scenes that I think don't make the most sense, but I still love.

[22:56] So the bathroom on their bus breaks down.

[22:59] Bus driver, played by Meatloaf, will not...

[23:02] He loves the girls, but he won't fix the bathrooms for them.

[23:05] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:05] I will do anything for them, but I won't do that.

[23:07] Yeah.

[23:08] Huge applause break in the theater.

[23:11] Yeah.

[23:12] We lost our lines.

[23:13] Yeah.

[23:13] And this is...

[23:14] People are like running around, high-fiving each other.

Elliott Kalan

[23:16] And if I'm correct, right, this was not the first time Meatloaf played a bus driver in a movie

[23:21] because he played a bus driver in Leap of Faith with Steve Martin, right?

[23:24] I think that was Meatloaf.

[23:25] So Meatloaf, he's either a musician who loves to play bus drivers or the most talented bus driver

[23:32] in the world.

[23:35] Don't look up his politics.

Stuart Wellington

[23:37] So the bathrooms break down.

[23:39] The girls go running off into the dark woods to use the bathroom.

[23:43] Of course, at this point, they run into an alien spaceship, which lands.

[23:50] Three aliens get out.

[23:52] They are clearly there to see the Spice Girls.

Elliott Kalan

[23:54] Huge Spice Girl fans.

[23:55] They're huge Spice Girls fans.

[23:56] They speak an alien language that the Spice Girls don't understand at first and then do

Stuart Wellington

[24:00] understand perfectly.

[24:01] Great.

[24:02] How would you describe the appearance of these aliens, Dan?

Elliott Kalan

[24:06] They're a little hunched over men and then they've got a tiny little rubber face in the

[24:11] middle.

[24:11] There's something kind of space ghoulies about them.

[24:14] Uh-huh.

[24:16] Spoolies.

Stuart Wellington

[24:16] I would say they're slightly aggressive as far as fans go.

Elliott Kalan

[24:20] Considering they squeeze, is it Scary Spice's boob and then demand Ginger kiss one of them

[24:25] on the lips.

[24:26] Yeah, I think it's aggressive fan behavior.

Dan McCoy

[24:28] Yeah, but the Spice Girls, you know, handle it with aplomb.

Stuart Wellington

[24:31] Yeah, they're pros.

[24:33] Okay.

[24:33] So the, you know, Clifford, their manager, is a little concerned about them talking about

[24:39] these aliens they met.

[24:41] But despite his misgivings, he still has to cancel their morning off, okay?

[24:46] And at this point, you think there's going to be a big fight that the girls are going

[24:49] to be fighting with Clifford, but nope.

[24:50] They turn around, they're like, no, we'll go back to work.

[24:52] We don't care.

Elliott Kalan

[24:55] It's a little bit like, so there's, this is, the movie is clearly following the pattern

[24:58] of A Hard Day's Night, where it's like, the Beatles are having adventures, they're on

[25:02] the road, they're trying to get away from having to do Beatles stuff.

[25:05] So there's this band, they were insects that through surgery were turned into men.

[25:12] And people were so astounded by the science.

[25:14] They had mop tops.

Dan McCoy

[25:16] They were used to clean up floors.

[25:18] Yeah.

[25:18] They kind of sound like the monkeys.

[25:20] Are they like the monkeys?

[25:21] They were the British monkeys.

[25:23] That's what they were known as.

Elliott Kalan

[25:24] Yeah.

[25:24] So when America invented the monkeys, Britain was like, we got to get in on that.

[25:28] And they started with the Beatles.

[25:29] And then the prototype was a bunch of hermits led by a Herman.

[25:33] But they, in that one, like, they're always trying to get away.

[25:38] And it's as if the Beatles would try to get away for a couple seconds and then be like,

[25:42] no.

[25:43] At heart, we're just rule followers.

[25:44] We're not troublemakers.

[25:46] Because the Spice Girls always give in.

Stuart Wellington

[25:48] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[25:49] Except for one time.

[25:50] We'll get to it, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[25:51] So despite their disappointment in their day being canceled, they still go to dance instruction

[25:56] with a special drill sergeant dance instructor, Mr. Step, played by Michael Barrymore.

Elliott Kalan

[26:04] This was, it's interesting.

[26:05] Another, another, another instance of the Spice World curse hitting a real celebrity.

Dan McCoy

[26:10] And it's also interesting to, you know, to see a screening of this in England where, like,

[26:18] there are a lot of these stars who are, like, huge that, you know, like, we're familiar with.

[26:23] This was very specifically British.

[26:25] There was a huge reaction from the crowd.

[26:28] And I'm like, I don't know what's happening.

[26:30] I don't know what this is.

Elliott Kalan

[26:31] I don't know if it's a famous person, famous character, if it's a reference to a real thing

[26:35] that happened in politics.

[26:36] I don't know.

[26:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[26:38] Yeah.

[26:38] Let's, let's pull up his Wikipedia page.

[26:41] Oh, wow.

[26:41] There's a long section on controversy.

Elliott Kalan

[26:46] Reminds me, reminds me of Norm MacDonald's podcast bit.

[26:48] Where he's learning what, who Hitler was on the air in real time.

[26:51] Yeah.

[26:52] He's like, oh, decorated veteran of the First World War.

[26:56] Ooh, I don't like this.

[26:57] Oh, no, I don't like that.

[27:01] Okay.

[27:01] So after their dance.

[27:02] But it feels like that it's, like, this happens.

[27:04] It's like, it's like my wife and I watching a Marvel movie.

[27:07] And, like, Star Fox shows up.

[27:09] And I'm like, what?

[27:09] They put Star Fox in a movie?

[27:11] And she's like, I don't know what you're talking about.

Stuart Wellington

[27:15] So after their dance instruction, they have to spend the night in a spooky house.

[27:22] While they're in bed, the paparazzo, played by Richard O'Brien, sneaks inside, which would

[27:28] be scary, I admit.

[27:29] Sneaks in through the toilet, right?

[27:31] Sneaks in through the toilet, like an aforementioned ghoulie.

[27:34] Like a ghoulie.

Dan McCoy

[27:35] Yeah.

[27:35] If Richard O'Brien snuck through my toilet, I'd be scared.

Elliott Kalan

[27:38] I would fathom to go as far as, if any human being snuck into my house through the toilet,

[27:44] I'd be at the very least surprised.

[27:46] Yeah.

[27:47] And probably scared.

Dan McCoy

[27:48] After being scared, I'd be like, you know, I love your work, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[27:52] Yet follow-up was really underrated, you know, the Rocky Horror follow-up.

[27:56] And he'd be like, thank you, thank you very much.

[27:58] Anyway, I think I came up through the wrong toilet.

Stuart Wellington

[28:02] So the spooky house scares the girls, they all end up in the same bed talking about things

[28:06] they're frightened of, and they're all sharing some concerns about the upcoming big show.

[28:11] And at this point, Richard O'Brien, like, records what they say, they have some more bad press

[28:18] that they're scared of their upcoming gig.

[28:22] George Wendt and Mark McKinney then, the movie is interspersed with the scenes where George

[28:28] Wendt and Mark McKinney are pitching the Spice Girls as movie stars to Clifton.

[28:32] Clifford, who is never interested.

[28:34] And this time they pitch Spice Force 5, which is another dream sequence where we get to see

[28:39] what the Spice Girls would be like if they were, like, secret agents, right?

[28:43] And they all kind of have their own little superpowers.

[28:46] There's some bits.

[28:47] A personal favorite is when Ginger Spice goes into a telephone box and transforms into Bob Hoskins.

Elliott Kalan

[28:54] She gets in the telephone box, she spins around, Wonder Woman changing costume styles, and turns

[28:59] to Bob Hoskins.

[29:00] And Bob Hoskins, because he is a consummate thespian, acts dizzy as he walks out of the

[29:05] telephone box.

[29:07] He's like, tell me, okay, my character was just spinning around.

[29:10] You got it.

[29:10] I know how to play this.

[29:11] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[29:12] And when that happens, of course, I'm like, so her superpower is becoming sexier?

[29:19] Bob Hoskins.

[29:20] Okay.

[29:22] So then they have a little visit with some contest winning kids who ride around on their

[29:28] bus for a little bit.

[29:29] They're a little sick of their situation, so they sneak off the bus with these kids, board

[29:33] a nearby speedboat.

Dan McCoy

[29:36] This was very funny to me because it was like, I didn't quite see what was so terrible about

[29:40] the situation.

[29:41] Like, the kids were in there, like, there's a bunch of candy for the kids, and they're

[29:44] like, this sucks.

[29:45] We're going to rush it off and get on a speedboat and sing the song, like, my girl lollipop.

[29:54] I don't know the lyrics.

Elliott Kalan

[29:55] You sound just like the Spice Girls.

Dan McCoy

[29:57] I sound exactly like the Spice Girls.

Elliott Kalan

[29:59] So Scary Spice, she looks out the window and sees the water, and she's like, this is

[30:03] it.

[30:03] When I say go, go.

[30:04] And I thought they were going to escape out the window, and they just get off the bus

[30:07] the regular way.

[30:08] They just stop the bus.

[30:09] Just out the door, past Meatloaf, who's like, is this the scene?

[30:12] Oh, no, it's later on.

[30:13] Later on, they take the bus, and Meatloaf goes, my bus.

[30:15] After getting up off the ground for some reason?

[30:19] Was he camping out next to the bus?

Stuart Wellington

[30:21] His body, at nighttime, his body dissolves into the ground.

[30:26] Okay, so they escape with the kids.

[30:32] There's, like, kind of a boat chase as they sing lollipop over and over, and then they

[30:38] have to dodge a piece of driftwood, and some kids and some of the girls get in the water.

[30:43] It's a little bit of drama where they're concerned that they might have accidentally drowned

[30:47] some kids.

[30:49] Pasha's mad that her dress got wet.

Elliott Kalan

[30:52] Pasha's upset, yeah.

[30:54] If this movie really had guts, those kids would have drowned.

[30:59] And then a spinning headline would have said, Spice Girls kill two kids.

[31:03] And then it would move on to the next scene.

[31:08] The movie lost me when they killed kids.

[31:10] But Spice World chickened out.

Stuart Wellington

[31:14] Have the courage of your convictions.

[31:16] So, of course, this is more bad press because Richard O'Brien catches them in the act of almost killing kids.

[31:23] All this stress is really getting to Clifford.

[31:26] And at rehearsal, he yells at them.

[31:28] And that leads to the Spice Girls breaking up for kind of reasons.

[31:32] I'm not 100% sure why.

Elliott Kalan

[31:33] I'm not sure why they break up rather than just going on strike.

[31:37] Like, they're not mad at each other.

[31:38] They're mad at him.

[31:39] But he goes, I think I just broke up the Spice Girls.

[31:42] And it's like, at worst, you've lost your job.

[31:45] Like, the Spice Girls still like each other, you know.

[31:48] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:48] So, this leads to a sequence.

[31:50] This is, you know, this is where you'd expect what the beginning of the third act or whatever.

[31:54] Yeah, yeah.

[31:54] The girls are upset.

[31:56] They're in their separate homes.

[31:58] Like, staring out the window holding a football.

[32:02] Lying in the bath.

[32:04] Being scary.

[32:05] Whatever they're doing.

[32:07] And they have a collective.

[32:08] Baby Spice is just wetting her diapers.

[32:12] They have a collective flashback to when they were newly.

[32:17] They were not yet stars.

[32:19] And they're at their friend's coffee shop.

[32:21] Their friend who is an actor who I recognize but I don't remember his name.

Elliott Kalan

[32:24] He's in a lot of stuff.

[32:25] He's in a lot of TV, a lot of movies.

Dan McCoy

[32:26] Well, I also thought it was funny that, like, this character, they're like,

[32:29] I wonder whatever happened to him.

[32:30] And there's no payoff.

Elliott Kalan

[32:31] No, never.

[32:33] He's introduced as if he is a character who is vitally important to their past.

[32:37] And then he is discarded.

[32:39] And it's not like I expected him to come back at Albert Hall.

[32:42] No, that doesn't happen.

[32:44] But what I like, here's what I like about the sequence.

[32:45] Okay.

[32:46] Other than the fact that I love the idea that they're just, like, five young ladies trying to make it big, you know, in the music biz.

[32:52] Like, they came up at school together.

[32:54] They have different accents, but that's okay.

[32:56] I guess they grew up the same.

[32:58] They're all having this flashback together.

[33:00] And the movie is like, they're all remembering the same thing.

[33:03] I like to believe they have merged on a psychic level.

[33:06] They now share one pan-conscious spice mind.

[33:10] And they can call to each other that way because they do call to each other that way.

[33:16] Stu, what happens next?

Dan McCoy

[33:17] Well, I also, before you get it, I also love this flashback because it shows what good sports they all are.

[33:24] Like, how tongue-in-cheek the thing is.

[33:26] Yeah.

[33:26] Because it posits this world where they were all friends when they were young.

[33:30] And they all had their bits when they were young.

Elliott Kalan

[33:33] And she's like, they're like, let's show you our new song.

[33:35] And they sing, what, Wannabe?

[33:36] Wannabe.

Stuart Wellington

[33:37] Well, their friend Nicola, who was there pre-pregnancy, and she pops on.

Elliott Kalan

[33:42] And they're dressed like a big Madonna fan, like an 80s-style Madonna fan, fingerless lace gloves, big bow in the hair, all that stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[33:48] And, yeah, they sing, they perform Wannabe.

[33:51] It's great.

[33:52] One thing that I found very charming in all the performances is how generally unchoreographed all the dances.

[34:01] Yes.

[34:02] The choreography is light.

Elliott Kalan

[34:04] Yeah.

[34:04] And it was, well, I don't spend a lot of time usually listening to Spice Girls music.

[34:09] I apologize.

[34:10] It's not a judgment, not a quality judgment.

[34:12] It's literally that.

[34:13] Look, like I said, my women's group at the time was Elastica.

[34:17] My women's group now is Adorashi Gako.

[34:19] I only have time for one lady's group at a time.

[34:21] But they are, it's my choice.

[34:24] I'm not saying they're listening.

[34:25] I'm not saying they're not good.

[34:26] So I haven't really listened to the Spice Girls lyrics much before this.

[34:31] And I love it.

[34:31] It's like the music is so catchy.

[34:33] And the lyrics have just enough meaning to convince you that something is being said in the song.

[34:38] And there are times when I'm like, wait a minute, this verse, it doesn't really make sense with the last verse.

[34:43] And it almost feels like it was written, each verse was written by someone else and they folded the paper over and then handed the next person.

[34:49] Or like someone with dementia who forgot what they said in the song before that.

[34:53] I really like that.

Dan McCoy

[34:54] That's poetry, Elliot.

[34:55] It is poetry.

[34:55] Your brain fills in the gaps in meaning.

[34:58] Wow.

[34:59] So you're saying the Spice Girls are Britain's greatest poets.

[35:03] I'm saying Eazy-E don't come for free.

[35:07] She's a real lady.

[35:08] And as for me, well, you'll see.

[35:15] Slam your body down.

[35:16] Was that really what you were saying?

[35:19] That's part of the breakdown to want to be, yeah.

[35:22] Oh, I see, I see, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:23] So, Dan, what's zig-a-zig-ah-ing?

Dan McCoy

[35:27] If you have to ask, you'll never understand, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[35:30] I mean, I just assumed it was masturbating like this.

[35:34] Most things are.

[35:36] So back to present day.

[35:39] So flashback over.

[35:41] We saw them in their early times.

[35:42] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:42] Yeah, so back to present day, the girls meet up outside of the coffee shop, now closed,

[35:48] and they're like, I wonder what happened to that guy.

[35:49] Again, we'll never know.

[35:52] Wonder what happened to that old, but ponytailed jazz man who used to serve us coffee.

[35:58] Okay, so they go off to eat chips by the river.

[36:04] Yep, yep.

[36:06] Okay, meanwhile, Clifford is...

[36:08] That is what they call rivers here, yep.

[36:11] Meanwhile, Clifford is drinking his sorrows away.

[36:14] He has basically lost his job.

[36:16] And then his assistant, who up to this point I have not mentioned, Deborah,

[36:20] who is kind of like the grounding agent in this situation,

[36:25] they get drunk together and presumably hook up, right?

[36:29] Yeah, that's the implication.

Elliott Kalan

[36:30] Okay.

[36:31] I mean, Richard E. Grant is super charming, I guess.

[36:33] She says something about hooking up to forget their troubles,

[36:36] and he gives her the creepiest smile.

[36:39] Like, Richard E. Grant briefly becomes a lizard person.

[36:43] And then it just cuts the next scene.

[36:44] So my guess was that they didn't hook up, but maybe they did.

Stuart Wellington

[36:49] So they make the decision.

[36:50] The girls make the decision to reach out to their friend, Nicola,

[36:53] who's over a week past due, and they all go to a club.

[37:00] They're like, let's hang out together.

[37:03] Nicola, let's go down and dance.

[37:04] And she's like, no, I'll just watch the five of you dance.

[37:08] That's fine.

[37:09] Whatever.

[37:09] It's not quality time, but I'm not going to, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[37:12] I mean, if she, I mean, as the thing is, if she had danced,

[37:16] it might have caused trouble because the little bit of kind of bobbing that she does,

[37:20] it shakes a baby out of her.

Stuart Wellington

[37:22] Yeah.

[37:22] So she goes into labor, so the girls bundle her onto the spice bus,

[37:28] forgetting Meatloaf entirely, and drive to the hospital.

Elliott Kalan

[37:31] So the bus was outside the club.

[37:33] Meatloaf seemingly is lying on the ground outside the club.

Dan McCoy

[37:37] Yeah.

[37:37] No, that's later on.

[37:38] They steal the bus from outside the hospital.

[37:41] So Meatloaf's just not, I forget, where was Meatloaf?

[37:43] I think Meatloaf drives them to the hospital.

[37:45] Oh, yeah, Meatloaf's there at this point.

[37:47] Later on, they have to take the...

[37:48] I got confused.

Elliott Kalan

[37:50] I'm having trouble remembering all the pieces of the intro.

[37:52] It's a more intricate puzzle than it is Spice World.

Stuart Wellington

[37:55] So while at the hospital, they're waiting for Nicola to have the baby.

[37:59] They don't want to leave, even though it means giving up some of their rehearsal time.

[38:03] At one point, they get interrupted by a couple whose child is in a coma.

[38:08] So they...

Elliott Kalan

[38:10] This scene did not turn the way I thought it was going to turn.

[38:14] I want to...

[38:15] Wait, let's crowdsource this for a moment.

[38:17] You see a movie.

[38:18] The Spice Girls are in a hospital.

[38:20] They're told there's a child in a coma.

[38:21] Can you please help us in some way?

[38:23] You expect they're going to sing this kid out of their coma, right?

[38:27] Much as in the movie Break in 2, Electric Boogaloo, where the power of breakdancing brings someone back to life in a hospital.

[38:34] But Stuart, what happens?

Stuart Wellington

[38:35] So they go over there, and Victoria's like,

[38:39] Cherry, get your boobs out.

[38:40] And she's like, his...

[38:41] No, and his eyes aren't even open.

[38:43] Kid immediately wakes up from his coma.

[38:45] She's got resurrection boobs.

[38:50] Yeah, I get it.

[38:51] Just the promise wakes the kid up.

[38:55] So Nicola has the baby.

[38:57] They, of course, say, now that's real girl power.

[39:00] Everyone gives high fives.

Elliott Kalan

[39:01] I mean, I do like...

[39:02] Because it literally is the...

[39:03] That is the power that women have, is that no one else has.

[39:07] Yeah.

[39:07] So meanwhile...

[39:08] Creation of life.

[39:09] Whereas men, all men can do is hang around, waiting for something to happen, and every now and then someone goes like,

[39:15] You're fine.

[39:15] You're okay, right?

[39:16] Anyway, it doesn't matter.

[39:17] Guys, you've never been there when your loved one is having a child.

[39:20] That feeling of, but I'm supposed to be the star of the show.

[39:24] Hold on a second.

[39:26] Where's my spotlight?

[39:28] And then you're trying to make a baby come out of you, and it's not happening, you know?

[39:31] No, I have two cats.

[39:34] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:36] Elliot, you were at the bar passing out cigars, right?

[39:40] When your kids were being born?

Elliott Kalan

[39:41] Yeah, yeah.

[39:42] I mean, it was in the bar passing out cigars.

[39:45] But that was just because that was my job at the time.

[39:47] I was a cigarette girl at a club.

[39:50] Yeah.

[39:51] I had a tray, and I was going, cigars, cigarettes.

[39:53] And someone was like, Hey, hey, Elliot, you're old ladies giving birth to the baby.

[39:57] And I took off my little round hat in my tray, and I said, Gotta go, fellas.

[40:01] And then I ran off.

Stuart Wellington

[40:03] That's the thing.

[40:03] American health care is so bad, he needed to work an extra job.

[40:07] So, around now, Clifford is getting pitched a Spice Girls movie, which is also strange,

[40:14] because at this point, he has to assume he lost his job.

[40:18] And they are pitching.

[40:19] At this point, Mark McKinney is pitching what is happening on screen.

[40:22] Yes.

[40:22] So, we see the Spice Girls catch Richard O'Brien in the act of trying to take paparazzi photos.

[40:29] He gets bonked on the head, and he changes his evil ways.

[40:33] It's actually pretty fun.

[40:35] I really enjoy this performance.

Elliott Kalan

[40:36] Another scene where you expect him to be changed by the power of music, the thing the Spice Girls do,

[40:41] but instead it's a short chase through the hall of a hospital.

[40:44] And then he's like, You know what?

[40:45] I shouldn't do this anymore.

Stuart Wellington

[40:47] And then we learn that he goes on to turn around and betray his former employers.

[40:54] They then take the Spice Bus to race to Albert Hall so they can make it in time for their performance.

[41:00] We get some thrills and chills.

[41:02] The girls end up on top of the bus.

[41:04] Victoria's driving, having abandoned meatloaf on the side of the road.

[41:07] Chills?

[41:08] Yeah, that's chilling.

[41:09] They find a bomb under the bus.

[41:11] There's a very good stunt where the bus flies over an opening bridge.

Elliott Kalan

[41:16] That is a very funny joke where he's like, The bridge is opening.

[41:20] The bus is going to go over it.

[41:21] Jump over it.

[41:22] And George Wendt goes, That sounds expensive.

[41:25] And then they cut to it and it is a toy bus stop motion going over like a toy bridge.

Dan McCoy

[41:31] And this all leads up to perhaps the best joke in the movie where like,

[41:36] the fantasy that is being spun of this possible Spice Girls movie

[41:41] that happens to coincide with the actual reality, like fully coincides where he's like,

[41:46] And then they burst through the door.

[41:49] And they all turn to the door as if they expect the Spice Girls to burst through.

[41:54] And Richard E. Grant, after a moment's pause, grabs Mark McKinney by the throat and goes,

[41:58] You lied to me!

Stuart Wellington

[42:01] Yeah, he straight arms him in like a Marvel villain way.

[42:05] It's amazing.

[42:06] So they're in despair.

[42:08] The girls haven't shown up yet.

[42:10] Richard E. Grant spins a fantasy where he will then have the band start up,

[42:14] go out on stage, and then hang himself in front of the crowd.

Elliott Kalan

[42:19] After this, the movie at this point is so like, they'll do anything.

[42:23] So the choking moment is really funny.

[42:25] And then he goes, he's talking to Alan Cumming, right?

[42:27] And he goes, I'll simply go out there and have the band start up,

[42:32] and I will come out on stage.

[42:34] And then he pulls out a noose and goes, and kill myself.

[42:37] And it's so funny.

Stuart Wellington

[42:40] He's talking about how much he hates the Spice Girls.

[42:42] Of course, at this point, they burst in, and he's like, I love them!

Elliott Kalan

[42:46] And that is a, I was going to say, that joke is a rough joke.

[42:50] That's like a hard-edged joke for a movie that is just exploiting the existence of a pop group

[42:55] that young girls particularly like.

[42:57] But the movie still didn't have the guts to kill those two kids earlier.

Dan McCoy

[43:02] So...

[43:02] I'm going to have to dock you two demerits, Spice World.

[43:05] On your deathbed.

[43:06] Elliot will be like, oh, Spice World should have killed those two children.

Elliott Kalan

[43:10] And then I'll be like, so much fried chicken I didn't get to eat.

Stuart Wellington

[43:14] So the girls get there in time.

[43:16] They come out.

[43:17] They perform, what, Spice Up Your Life.

[43:19] It's great.

[43:20] Everybody's loving it.

[43:21] Everybody's, you know, the world is a better place.

[43:24] End of movie.

[43:25] The world is noticeably more spiced up.

[43:27] And then we have some post-credit stuff where they're like,

[43:30] it's like filming the Spice Girls movie, the Spice World movie.

Dan McCoy

[43:34] It's kind of like behind-the-scenes footage.

Elliott Kalan

[43:37] And you see the Spice Girls are talking to people.

[43:39] Richard E. Grant is on the phone with his agent asking if his career is going to survive this movie.

[43:42] And they're just...

Stuart Wellington

[43:45] They're like staring at the audience through the camera, calling out people.

[43:49] It's great.

Elliott Kalan

[43:49] They're doing the same bit that Daffy Duck does in the credits of Gremlins 2.

[43:53] Where they're like, why are you still around?

[43:55] The movie's over.

[43:56] Get out of here.

Dan McCoy

[43:57] But I...

[43:58] From that Richard E. Grant article that I cited before,

[44:01] the other thing I really loved was the interviewer's like,

[44:04] in the end of the movie, you're shown on the phone with your agent saying,

[44:08] will this kill my career?

[44:09] Like, what did your agent think of you being in the Spice World movie?

[44:12] And he said, well, my agent was very money-focused.

[44:16] So when he saw how much money I was being paid, we were all very happy.

Elliott Kalan

[44:21] But the movie is not really over yet because, right, they say, what is the audience waiting for?

[44:26] Uh-oh, maybe that bomb that we found.

[44:29] And then it explodes off camera, right?

[44:31] Yeah, it's great.

Stuart Wellington

[44:34] The crowd goes crazy.

[44:36] The crowd went nuts.

[44:37] It's amazing.

Elliott Kalan

[44:37] The screening we were at, they were tearing the seats out.

[44:40] They ripped the screen down.

[44:42] It was amazing.

[44:43] Bottles were being thrown through the air.

Dan McCoy

[44:45] That movie gave us everything.

[44:46] All the joy it brings.

[44:48] This I swear.

Stuart Wellington

[44:50] So that was the summary of the movie, Dan.

[44:53] Can we do, what's the next part?

[44:55] Final judgments?

Dan McCoy

[44:56] Yeah, final judgments.

[44:57] I think we chipped our hand.

[44:58] But we talk about whether there's a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie kind

[45:01] of like.

[45:02] I, I, I, I, I did a, like, I liked the movie okay before I thought it was kind of, I did

[45:07] a total 180.

[45:08] I'm like, this movie plays, like, like, especially in a crowd.

[45:12] It was so much fun to watch it.

[45:14] Like, so many laughs, applause breaks.

[45:17] Yeah, two thumbs up.

[45:18] This is a movie I like.

Stuart Wellington

[45:19] Yeah.

[45:19] No kind involved.

[45:20] I liked it.

Elliott Kalan

[45:21] Movie I liked also, but I'm glad I saw it the first the way I saw it.

[45:24] Like Dan says, with an audience that is super into it.

[45:27] But it's, it makes me, it, I genuinely am watching it.

[45:30] I was like, oh, so the reviewers didn't realize this is a funny movie?

[45:34] Like, because it's a very funny movie.

[45:37] It's really funny.

[45:38] Yeah.

[45:38] It is much funnier than you expect from the screenwriter of From Justin to Kelly.

[45:41] So, you know.

Dan McCoy

[45:47] If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try S-T-O-P-P-O-D-C-A-S-T-I-A.

[45:53] Hmm.

[45:53] Are you trying to put the name of the podcast there?

[45:55] Yeah, I'm trying to spell it, but it's tricky.

S7

[45:57] Let me give it a try.

[45:59] Okay.

[46:00] If you need a laugh and you're on the go, call S-T-O-P-P-A-D-I.

Dan McCoy

[46:05] It'll never fit.

[46:06] No, it will.

[46:07] Let me try.

[46:09] If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try S-T-O-P-P-P-D-C-O-O.

[46:14] Ah!

[46:15] We are so close.

[46:17] Stop podcasting yourself.

[46:18] A podcast from MaximumFun.org.

[46:22] If you need a laugh and you're on the go.

S10

[46:25] You can't really know if your own show is any good.

[46:28] So, I asked my kids about ours.

[46:31] Is Jordan Jesse Go a good show?

S7

[46:32] No, definitely not.

[46:34] It's really bad.

S6

[46:35] I would say out of 10, maybe like a 4 out of 10.

[46:40] It's just really bad.

[46:42] Yeah, zero.

S10

[46:45] Subscribe to Jordan Jesse Go.

[46:47] A comedy show for grown-ups.

Dan McCoy

[46:49] Hey, Dan here, breaking in for some quick plugs.

[46:53] Tonight, on this episode's day of release, January the 4th, we will be discussing Ski School 2 on Flop TV, which airs, of course, at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 Eastern.

[47:05] That's live when it airs if you want to see us and chat along with other viewers.

[47:11] Tickets at theflophouse.simpletakes.com.

[47:14] I'll be handling the summary for this episode.

[47:17] I believe Stuart will be doing the presentation and Elliot will handle the special report.

[47:23] And, of course, you know, this movie, Ski School 2, after Hot Dog, the movie last year, will fill the important ski-based sex comedy slot in our rundown.

[47:35] We hope to see you there.

[47:37] And remember that a season pass holders for Flop TV can watch all of the shows on demand until the end of February.

[47:45] Tickets, again, at theflophouse.simpletakes.com.

[47:48] $7 per show or get a season pass and pay only $35 for six shows.

[47:56] Also, in a mere 15 days, we'll be back in San Francisco at San Francisco Sketch Fest.

[48:03] On Sunday, January 19, we'll be at Cobb's Comedy Club at 7 p.m. discussing Cutthroat Island.

[48:11] I am recording this ad break a little ahead of time because of the holidays, but there are probably still tickets available if you want to come see us in person.

[48:19] Go to sfsketchfest.com for tickets.

[48:23] And while I've got you here, please go to flophousepodcast.com and sign up for our newsletter, Flop Secrets, which is the best way to keep up on all of our appearances, side projects, whatever, and to get some extra content just for fun.

[48:39] I drew a little holiday, a floppy holidays card for all the listeners.

[48:47] That's art straight from me to you.

[48:49] Thank you for listening to us.

[48:51] Just plug your email into the newsletter field on our website at flophousepodcast.com, and you'll get all of the updates every other week.

[49:01] And now, back to our Oxford Spice World show.

[49:07] I'm checking the time.

[49:08] Ooh!

[49:09] Okay.

[49:10] Yeah, we were...

[49:12] Dan, don't start checking your mail.

[49:14] We're running a little late.

[49:16] So, yet again, I'm going to cap the number of questions.

Elliott Kalan

[49:21] Dan, you're just looking at your texts now.

[49:22] What are you doing?

[49:23] The first five people...

[49:24] Dan, don't start playing Candy Crush.

[49:26] What are you doing?

[49:27] The first five people to run to the center, we're going to answer some questions.

[49:29] Okay, yeah, we're going to ask some questions.

[49:31] There's only a limited amount of time because there's a bomb under the bus.

[49:35] Just kidding.

[49:36] There isn't really.

[49:38] Hello.

S4

[49:39] Hey, Danny Lesner with Held.

[49:42] So, when the movie came out, I was like seven, eight years old.

[49:45] And I distinctly remember that...

[49:47] Must be nice.

[49:50] Subtleplex.

[49:51] Yeah.

[49:52] Sorry.

[49:53] Everyone had to pick a Spice persona.

[49:55] My sister was, I think, sporty Spice just because she kind of looked like it.

[49:59] Uh-huh.

[50:00] And so, I'm wondering, have you ever, have you given this any thought?

[50:03] You know?

[50:03] Who's who?

[50:04] Which of us?

[50:05] Yeah.

[50:06] Which Spice?

[50:07] What's our Spice?

Elliott Kalan

[50:08] Yeah.

[50:08] The problem is...

[50:09] So, this was a big topic of conversation backstage.

[50:12] It was.

[50:13] Oh.

[50:14] Who is what Spice?

[50:15] The problem is, Stuart absorbs a lot of the Spice personalities.

[50:19] He's the baby.

[50:21] He's sporty.

[50:22] He's a little scary.

Stuart Wellington

[50:25] Ginger seems to be really interested in, like, inane facts and things.

[50:31] I feel like...

Elliott Kalan

[50:32] That doesn't feel natural to her character, but I'll take it, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[50:37] I looked into this originally and...

Dan McCoy

[50:39] Elliot often calls me baby boy Dan McCoy, so...

[50:42] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[50:42] And my children call you that, which I find adorable.

[50:45] I'm a little bit posh, a little bit sporty.

[50:47] You know, I'm all things.

Dan McCoy

[50:49] Yeah.

[50:49] A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll.

[50:51] Okay.

[50:52] I guess that doesn't answer your question, so...

S4

[50:54] Maybe to add, so ginger spice was originally meant to be sexy spice.

[50:59] Uh-huh.

[50:59] But they changed it, so I guess you also have that covered, right?

Stuart Wellington

[51:02] Oh, bless your heart.

Elliott Kalan

[51:09] Well, when they have a...

[51:09] You're just encouraging him.

[51:11] When they have a Spice girl who knows her shit about dinosaurs, I'll be that one.

[51:15] Yeah.

[51:16] Because that's something Stuart showed to us before this show.

[51:18] He does not know.

[51:20] Thank you.

[51:21] Thank you.

[51:22] Yeah, I can be dinosaur spice.

[51:24] That'd be pretty fun.

[51:25] That sounds delicious.

[51:27] It does.

[51:27] I've always wondered, dinosaurs, are they red meat?

[51:30] Because they're big.

[51:31] Or are they white meat?

[51:32] Because they're chickens.

[51:33] Yeah.

[51:33] We'll never know.

[51:34] We'll never know, unfortunately.

[51:36] Was that a question for me?

[51:38] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[51:39] Yeah, this is the part where we ask you questions.

[51:40] Yeah.

S5

[51:42] I'm 6'3 and single, you know.

[51:45] You said something at the start about mushrooms.

[51:47] Can we talk later on?

Dan McCoy

[51:50] I mean, I have a connection, but they live in, you know.

S5

[51:53] That's too far.

[51:54] Never mind.

[51:54] Mike, last name withheld.

[51:56] I was actually going to ask about what your spice names would be as well, but I'll pivot.

[52:01] I completely forgot that Richard O'Brien and Michael Barrymore were in this film.

[52:07] Some Strike It Lucky fans at the back.

[52:10] When I was growing up, they were both like really big game show hosts before I knew about Rocky Horror or anything else.

[52:15] Apart from them and Bob Barker, are there any other game show hosts in films that have done really well that you enjoyed?

Elliott Kalan

[52:22] Game show hosts in films?

[52:24] I mean...

[52:25] Are there game shows we want to see in films?

[52:27] Are we scrambling for something?

[52:30] Okay.

[52:30] So that's, yeah, that was a good pivot.

[52:32] That was a solid pivot.

[52:33] Okay.

[52:33] Game shows, I want to say, I don't know of any other game show host.

[52:37] I think, I feel like...

[52:38] There's the Gong Show movie.

[52:40] Yeah, but that's about a game show host.

[52:42] Yeah.

[52:42] He's not in it, you know.

[52:43] So that the...

[52:44] But I wonder if...

[52:46] No, but you know what?

[52:47] So Alex Trebek was in the video for I Lost on Jeopardy, right?

[52:51] The Weird Al song.

[52:52] Is that a movie?

Dan McCoy

[52:53] It's not a movie.

[52:54] Also, the X-Files episode he showed up in is not a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[52:57] No, that's not a movie either.

[52:58] But Drew Carey, he was on...

[53:00] He's the host of Prices Right Now, and he was also on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

[53:04] No.

Stuart Wellington

[53:05] None of these are movies.

[53:07] Stuart?

[53:07] Steve Harvey was in the Steve Harvey show.

Elliott Kalan

[53:10] Steve Harvey is in the original Kings of Comedy, which is a movie.

[53:13] That's true.

[53:14] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[53:14] I mean, I feel like Steve Harvey is such like a big, crazy personality.

[53:18] Yeah.

[53:18] And like, his...

[53:19] That like...

[53:20] What was it?

[53:20] Miss America?

[53:21] Or Miss Universe contest that he misread?

[53:23] Like, I love that.

[53:24] He's crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[53:25] He must have been in a movie at some point.

[53:26] There's got to be one.

[53:27] Yeah.

[53:27] Harvey.

[53:28] The movie.

[53:28] Harvey.

[53:29] Yeah, it was a movie Harvey.

[53:30] This guy...

[53:30] Jimmy Stewart thinks that Steve Harvey is walking around with him all the time.

[53:33] Yeah.

S5

[53:34] There's definitely going to be a movie made about, was it Dana Carey's experience at fish

[53:39] a couple of weeks ago, was it?

[53:41] I don't know if you saw anything about that.

[53:42] Wait, say again.

[53:43] What?

[53:43] What's his name?

[53:45] Price is Right host.

Elliott Kalan

[53:47] Drew Carey?

[53:48] Yeah.

S5

[53:49] He went to see fish at the sphere a couple of weeks ago.

[53:51] You've not seen it?

[53:52] There could be a movie about that.

Elliott Kalan

[53:53] I need to see that movie.

[53:54] I won't hear anything against Drew Carey.

[53:56] You know why?

[53:57] Because when our union was on strike last year, he spent a lot of money on food for us, which

[54:01] was amazing.

[54:01] That was great.

[54:02] It was great.

[54:04] He was like, he said, these two restaurants all cover any Writers Guild members bill.

[54:09] And then afterwards, he was like, I didn't think it was going to be that expensive.

S6

[54:12] Very nice stuff.

[54:14] Yeah.

[54:14] Hey, floppers.

[54:15] Number one, dinosaurs.

[54:16] Cool.

[54:17] Oh, cool.

[54:19] Sorry.

[54:20] Hey, floppers.

[54:20] Hi, peaches.

[54:21] Sorry.

[54:22] So, the Spice Girls were a massively influential girl band.

[54:26] A massively influential boy band was One Direction.

[54:29] When they split up, Harry Styles had a fantastic career as Man in Boat, son of Thanos.

[54:35] If the Spice Girls split up...

Elliott Kalan

[54:37] Brother of Thanos.

[54:38] Sorry.

[54:40] Let's...

S6

[54:41] Okay.

[54:41] You know, it's time to get real.

[54:42] Right.

[54:42] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[54:43] Okay.

[54:43] Let's talk about this.

[54:44] Okay.

[54:45] There's a Lars, also known as Mentor.

[54:46] Elliot, Elliot.

[54:47] We got to get out of here at some point.

[54:48] Okay.

S6

[54:48] Baby Thanos.

[54:49] If the Spice Girls split up, which of those do you think would be an effective Marvel character?

[54:54] And who would they play?

Elliott Kalan

[54:55] Oh, yeah.

[54:57] Let's see.

[54:58] Who would be a good one for them?

[55:00] Hmm.

[55:01] Try not to be racist in my choice for Scary Spice.

Stuart Wellington

[55:04] I feel like Posh could be like an Emma Frost, like aloof.

Elliott Kalan

[55:08] Yeah, for sure.

[55:09] She could be Emma Frost.

[55:10] And Emma Frost is like a...

[55:12] I mean, Ginger Spice is kind of a rogue type.

[55:14] Yeah.

[55:14] I can see her being rogue.

[55:15] Let's think of some non-X-Men characters, okay, everybody?

[55:17] They're not making those movies right now.

[55:19] That's a cartoon show.

[55:21] What are the other Spice Girls?

[55:22] Let's see.

[55:23] Baby Spice.

[55:25] Donner.

[55:25] Blitzen.

[55:26] Blitzen Spice.

[55:29] Sporty Spice.

Stuart Wellington

[55:30] I gotta say, this is not related, but when they're dressing up as each other and Sporty

[55:34] is dressing up as Posh, I'm like, she looks a lot like Lady Gaga, who is not a Marvel character.

[55:42] But if she was...

Elliott Kalan

[55:43] Lady Gaga is a DC character.

[55:45] She's in the new Joker movie.

[55:46] Oh, yeah, you're right.

[55:48] I think, yeah, that's a good question, because I wish I knew the Spice Girls as well as I

[55:54] know the Marvel characters.

[55:55] Obviously, I don't really wish that.

[55:56] This is a wish just for this question.

[55:58] Because the Marvel characters live inside my brain all the time, and I think if the Spice

[56:01] Girls lived inside my brain all the time, I'd never stop dancing, you know?

[56:06] I wouldn't get any work done.

[56:08] I think that answers the question.

S7

[56:10] That's fine.

Elliott Kalan

[56:10] Thank you very much.

[56:11] Thanks very much.

[56:11] Thank you.

[56:12] I'll think about this for a long time now.

S7

[56:16] Danny, last name with nail?

[56:18] Not really.

[56:20] My last name's I.

Elliott Kalan

[56:23] You told us the secret.

S7

[56:25] Now we have control over him.

[56:28] So, this is probably an obvious comparison, but looking at, like, Baby Spice's hairdo and

[56:37] the kind of anarchic feminine energy of the movie and the explosion at the end, I was reminded

[56:43] of Vera Ketilov's Czech New Wave film, Daisies.

Elliott Kalan

[56:48] Not the first person on this trip to talk to me about it being like Daisies.

[56:53] Sorry to pass it to Steve.

[56:54] My wife said this last night.

S7

[56:58] So, I guess, what other sort of arty, serious films have that kind of shitposting energy?

Elliott Kalan

[57:09] Interesting.

[57:09] I mean, like, if you look at the two movies Dolly and Bunuel made together, On Shannon DeLue

[57:15] and L'Age d'Or, it's very similar, where it's like, this is art.

[57:19] By the way, fuck you.

[57:20] Like, we're going to do crazy things.

[57:23] And let's see.

[57:24] There must be other ones like that, where it's just like, they are, there's, I mean,

[57:29] there's a lot of movie, a lot of artsy movies where they're, like, assaulting you.

[57:32] And I feel like the Spice Girls is not assaulting you so much as, like, grabbing your hand and

[57:35] being like, let's run away somewhere together, you know.

[57:38] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[57:38] Spice Girls, like, it's like, it's like a, it's like a slumber party was turned into a

[57:44] movie, kind of.

[57:45] Yeah.

[57:45] It's like, if at the end of the Spice Girls, like, summer at summer camp, they did a skit

[57:51] show about being Spice Girls.

[57:53] Which is part of what's charming about it.

Elliott Kalan

[57:55] But it's something that you do, it's, it's interesting that there's like, there's like a,

[57:59] not a, it's not a pole to pole thing, but a continuous circle.

[58:02] Where on one side is art and on the other side is trash.

[58:04] And if you go in either direction far enough, you go back around to the other one.

[58:08] And so, the what?

[58:10] Yeah, exactly.

[58:11] And a movie like this, which is like, let's be honest with ourselves.

[58:14] A Spice Girls movie made at the height of their fame with a script that seems, let's

[58:19] charitably say, thrown together.

[58:21] Like, it should be, like, it should be kind of trivial throwaway stuff the same way that,

[58:25] like, other movies are based on bands or trying to, trying to exploit a band's brief

[58:31] popularity usually are.

[58:33] But instead, they like, they're like, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[58:35] Unlike, like, say, Cool as Ice or something that still manages to be art.

Elliott Kalan

[58:38] I wouldn't hear anything bad against Cool as Ice either, but the one David Lynch movie David

[58:43] Lynch didn't direct.

[58:44] But it's like, if you put, if you, it's, so this, I'll get personal for a second.

[58:50] My son recently had a video assignment for school.

[58:52] And he was like, oh, I don't want to do this.

[58:54] I hate doing work.

[58:55] Blah, blah, blah.

[58:56] I'm going to be a professional baseball player anyway, so why do I have to do this?

[58:59] And the, and I was like, well, hopefully.

Stuart Wellington

[59:02] Kids still want to be professional athletes.

[59:04] I thought they just wanted to be, like, YouTubers.

Elliott Kalan

[59:06] Well, if you could be a professional athlete with a podcast or a YouTube channel, I think

[59:09] that's the sweet spot.

[59:10] But I was like, what you need to do is have fun with this.

[59:15] Like, make this something that's fun.

[59:16] And then you're going to do something really good.

[59:18] And it's going to be better than if you just do this.

[59:20] And I feel like the Spice World, they were like, let's have fun with this.

[59:22] Like, let's not do the minimum.

[59:24] Like, let's have fun.

[59:24] And any, whether it's an art movie or a junk movie, if the people making it are not, not

[59:29] one of those things where it's like, we had a blast on the set.

[59:31] And you watch the movie and you're like, what the hell is this?

[59:33] But if they're like, in the creation of this thing, let's have fun changing ourselves with

[59:38] what we're doing.

Stuart Wellington

[59:39] We didn't even talk about the, like, fantasy sequence where Hugh Laurie plays Poirot.

[59:43] And he's like, Baby Spice has been murdering people.

[59:46] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[59:47] And she's got bullet bandoliers all over her and she's holding an axe in her hand.

[59:51] Or like, with Stephen Fry as the judge who sentences them to being at the bottom of the

[59:55] charts because their new song isn't very good.

[59:57] Like, everyone's having fun in a good way.

[1:00:00] They're having fun in that way of like, if I'm doing this thing, I'm going to do it to

[1:00:04] the utmost.

[1:00:04] And like, that's when art comes out, guys.

[1:00:06] That's when you make art.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:07] I have to be, you know, bad Spice right now and move us along.

[1:00:11] Bad Cop Spice.

[1:00:13] Bad Cop Spice.

S8

[1:00:14] Hiya.

[1:00:14] My name is Colum.

[1:00:16] I hope you don't mind, like, a very short 1.5 question.

[1:00:20] Just the first bit is, like, the two movies we, you guys talked about, Spice World and

[1:00:26] The Avengers.

[1:00:27] The credit sequence really, like, emblematically represented the movies of, like, Avengers

[1:00:31] being, like, an absolutely horrendous trip of, like, spirals and upsetting imagery.

[1:00:36] And then of Spice World, you know, the title sequence really setting up, you know, who

[1:00:40] the girls are.

[1:00:41] I was wondering if there's any credit sequences that you guys really love and, like, really

[1:00:45] set the movie into a good spin.

[1:00:47] And second part, this is just for Dan.

[1:00:49] I'm really sorry to stalk you, but you've got a list on Letterboxd that is 291 movies,

[1:00:55] and the title is Asploitation.

[1:00:57] And it features...

[1:00:58] And it features some classics of cruising and female trouble.

[1:01:03] But what's up with that, my dude?

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:06] I have an explanation...

[1:01:07] I think, let's...

[1:01:07] The first question, let's set it aside.

[1:01:09] We don't need to talk about credit sequence.

[1:01:11] Yeah, we don't...

[1:01:11] Well, we...

[1:01:12] Yeah, I don't think...

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:13] Let's...

[1:01:14] The first question was to get in the door.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:17] Let's go where the money is.

[1:01:19] I have an explanation that is not necessarily...

[1:01:22] You mean an asplanation?

[1:01:25] An explanation that's not necessarily an excuse, which is I follow an Instagram account called

[1:01:33] Asploitation.

[1:01:35] Yeah.

[1:01:36] That posts funny, ass-related movie clips.

[1:01:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:01:40] It's a goof.

[1:01:41] It's just goofy.

[1:01:41] It's a funny joke.

[1:01:43] And they have a Letterboxd list that I cloned.

[1:01:48] So it's not...

[1:01:49] I didn't compile it.

[1:01:50] I'm just an appreciator of it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:53] I love that Dan's explanation was basically, yes.

[1:01:57] Yes.

[1:01:58] Thank you.

[1:02:00] Dan, I didn't...

[1:02:01] I need to spend more time on Letterboxd so I can learn your secrets.

S10

[1:02:06] Hello.

[1:02:07] Tobias, last name of Held.

[1:02:09] So this was a perfect movie that really represented what it actually means to be in a, you know,

[1:02:16] in a band.

[1:02:17] Really accurately, perfectly.

[1:02:19] I just wondered if there were any similarly accurate depictions of, like, your own professional

[1:02:23] careers that you can think of in film.

[1:02:25] This...

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:25] We were talking...

[1:02:25] Dan and I were talking yesterday about an American TV show called Studio 60 on the Sunset

[1:02:30] Strip.

[1:02:32] This is a show, as Dan's wife Audrey said, if you only know comedy writers, you would think

[1:02:37] this was the most popular television show in the history of the United States.

[1:02:40] It ended for one season.

[1:02:41] It is about a Saturday Night Live TV show and it is so incredibly inaccurate in every detail.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:45] You know?

[1:02:46] Yeah, no.

[1:02:46] It...

[1:02:46] Yeah.

[1:02:47] We've been talking about it for years.

[1:02:49] Comedy writers love this show because it's so bad and gets every single thing wrong.

[1:02:55] So it's the precise opposite of the question you're asking.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:59] So you buy the premise that the Spice World is a great...

[1:03:02] It really shows you what it's like to be in a band.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:05] I...

[1:03:05] Well, sure, sure.

[1:03:06] But the weird thing is, like, as silly as Spice World is, I watched it thinking, like,

[1:03:12] this kind of reminds me of being in a podcast with my friends because we do travel together

[1:03:18] to places...

[1:03:18] We're a lot like the Spice Girls.

[1:03:20] And we have to...

[1:03:21] Meat Loaf drives our bus, his ghosts, yeah.

[1:03:24] It captures, like...

[1:03:27] Like, we'd be friends anyway, but it captures the enforced closeness of touring together...

[1:03:32] That's true.

[1:03:33] ...in a way that I enjoyed.

[1:03:35] So my answer is Spice World.

[1:03:36] Oh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:37] I would say the movie Cocktail starring Tom Cruise and Brian Brown is not very accurate

[1:03:43] to being a bartender.

[1:03:46] I would say the most accurate movie to being a bartender is still Darren Aronofsky's Mother,

[1:03:50] the movie where she's, like, in this house and, like, people just keep coming in.

[1:03:56] They're, like, sitting on things and breaking shit.

[1:03:58] And you're like, God damn it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:00] That scene where she's like, please don't sit on the sink, it's fragile.

[1:04:03] And they get off and every time she turns around, they hop back on it.

[1:04:05] That's the scariest scene in the history of filmmaking.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:08] That is what being a bartender is like.

[1:04:09] That is my bartending stress dreams.

[1:04:11] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:12] So that's that.

[1:04:15] I believe that the name of that movie is Mother!

[1:04:17] Mother!

S9

[1:04:20] Hi, my name's Alex, last name with help.

[1:04:24] And this isn't Spice Girl related, but it is a question I wanted to ask you guys for ages

[1:04:29] because you are Muppet experts.

[1:04:33] Dan is, yeah, sure.

[1:04:35] And I love all the Muppets, but one of my favorite types of Muppets is one that I would

[1:04:40] describe as, and I want to make this term official, a goober.

[1:04:43] And a goober is something that is not one of the human type Muppets, is not one of the

[1:04:49] discernible, like, animal types.

[1:04:52] I would put, like, Gonzo in that, as well as, like, the little guy in Muppets, Christmas,

[1:04:56] Carol, where it's on the screen for, like, two seconds and I pause every single time I watch

[1:05:00] that film.

[1:05:01] It's like a little eee!

[1:05:02] And I love that guy.

[1:05:04] But if you were to say what your favorite goober was that wasn't a Muppet, what would you

[1:05:09] say?

Dan McCoy

[1:05:10] I don't know if it's my favorite, but the one that immediately comes to mind is, like,

[1:05:15] they're, like, those Muppets that are kind of, like, pink slinkies, basically.

[1:05:19] Uh-huh.

[1:05:19] And then at the end of the scenario, as happens with a lot of Muppet things, it blasts the

[1:05:27] other one off the screen.

[1:05:28] Like, so many Muppet sketches end in explosions, they're like, well, it's done now, something

[1:05:33] will blow up.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:35] I remember reading an interview with Frank Oz, I think, where he's like, yeah, pretty much,

[1:05:40] if we didn't know to end a thing, then they either blew up or one of them ate the other

[1:05:43] one.

[1:05:44] I'm going to stretch the rules, because it's not an official question on a government

[1:05:48] document or something like that.

[1:05:49] But Jim Henson was involved in developing these at some point.

[1:05:52] I'm going to say, in Return of the Jedi, there's that little guy who zaps his tongue

[1:05:56] out and eats another thing and then burps, and it's such a funny moment to exclude.

[1:06:00] What?

[1:06:01] Yeah.

[1:06:01] He rules, yeah.

[1:06:02] He's a great, I mean, he's the second best character in Return of the Jedi after Salacious

[1:06:05] Crumb, of course.

[1:06:07] He is a goober.

[1:06:08] Salacious Crumb is a goober.

[1:06:10] Superstar goober, yeah.

[1:06:11] But I love that they took the time to do it, because it's one of those things, like,

[1:06:14] a lot of work went into that, and it's on screen for just a moment.

[1:06:17] It doesn't matter to the plot.

[1:06:18] It's just a silly thing to have happen, but it makes you feel like you are on a world where

[1:06:21] silly things happen.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:23] I just love how that burp echoes.

[1:06:25] It's like, damn.

[1:06:27] What's that guy been drinking?

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:34] These are good questions.

[1:06:35] This is a great audience and good questions.

[1:06:36] We really appreciate you coming out tonight when you could be doing other stuff, I guess.

[1:06:41] England, you know, England, it's full of a lot of late night towns, places where people

[1:06:44] hang out really late at night and do stuff at night, you know.

[1:06:46] Mm-hmm.

[1:06:48] Like Batman and stuff?

[1:06:50] Is Batman in England?

[1:06:51] We got one more question.

[1:06:52] God damn it.

[1:06:54] It's all right.

[1:06:55] You can let him go.

[1:06:57] I don't want to anger the venue.

[1:06:59] So, Kolchak the Night Stalker, that was an England thing, right?

[1:07:01] Yeah.

[1:07:02] Okay, yeah.

[1:07:02] So, what's the question?

[1:07:03] I'm just irritating Dan now, yeah?

S10

[1:07:05] Yeah.

[1:07:06] James, last name withheld.

[1:07:07] Before we came out, I read the Wikipedia article on Spice World, which is surprisingly long,

[1:07:13] mostly because of the cast list, and it did say on there that there is plans to do a sequel,

[1:07:18] which is going to be animated, and they're all going to be superheroes.

[1:07:22] So, my question is, if this does happen, what powers do you think they'll have, and will

[1:07:27] you be disappointed if one of them isn't turning into Bob Hoskins?

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:32] I mean, I would definitely be disappointed if Ginger's power was not turning into Bob Hoskins,

[1:07:37] yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:39] I love it.

[1:07:40] Man.

[1:07:42] So, Scary Spice is scary.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:46] So, Scary Spice, she's got like a scary, she's like the shadow.

[1:07:49] She's got like a voice that can strike fear into people's hearts.

[1:07:52] Uh-huh, no, that's good.

[1:07:53] Because the instinct is to go physical, she beats people up.

[1:07:56] No, it's all mental.

[1:07:57] It's all vocal.

[1:07:59] And Baby's power is she can hide inside of people's stomachs.

[1:08:02] Yeah.

[1:08:03] For up to nine months at a time.

[1:08:08] Not technically a stomach, you know, but if that, and let's see.

[1:08:12] Wait, really?

Dan McCoy

[1:08:14] The baby's not in a, in the mother's stomach.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:17] No?

[1:08:17] No, well, we'll talk about this later, Stuart.

[1:08:19] They should have taught you this in school, but okay, let's see.

[1:08:22] Posh Spice, I mean, you could go the Batman route.

[1:08:25] She's super rich.

[1:08:26] She buys herself all sorts of fancy stuff.

[1:08:28] Iron Man suit or something, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:30] Yeah, yeah.

[1:08:30] Ginger can combine with honey and lemon to soothe people's throats.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:37] And just leave Sporty, who I guess, I don't know, telepathy can fly.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:43] No, Sporty Spice has fire powers, Stuart.

[1:08:46] Fire powers.

[1:08:47] Because then she can do flips and then with, and leave fire footprints behind.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:52] I know I said we got to get out of here, but why does fire powers lead to flips?

[1:08:56] No, no.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:56] The fire powers don't lead to flips.

[1:08:58] She can do the flips already.

[1:08:59] She's Sporty Spice, and she leaves fire footprints behind.

[1:09:01] And she flips and kicks the guy in the face, and his face catches on fire.

[1:09:05] It all checks out.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:06] I can't argue with that.

[1:09:06] No, actually, that's pretty well thought out.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:08] I like it.

[1:09:09] Okay, thank you so much.

[1:09:11] I just want to say one last thing.

[1:09:14] I won't even say it.

[1:09:15] Forget it.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:15] So much for having us.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:18] It's been a dream.

[1:09:21] We've always wanted to come over here, and you guys have been so lovely.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:25] We hope to come back someday, but until then, I have been Dan McCoy.

[1:09:30] I've been Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:31] And I will always be Elliot Kalin, no matter how hard I try.

[1:09:34] Thank you very much for being here.

[1:09:35] Thank you very much.

[1:09:36] Appreciate it.

[1:09:41] Thank you so much for coming out and not going to see Furiosa tonight.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:51] I know that's a sacrifice that we're all making.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:54] Does that open the same night here as it does in the United States?

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:57] I think so.

[1:09:58] I don't know.

[1:09:59] Just for the exception of my joke, just go along with it, too.

[1:10:02] Oh, sorry, sorry.

[1:10:03] Yes, and me for a change.

[1:10:07] That's not what we do, Stuart.

[1:10:10] Maximum Fun.

[1:10:12] A worker-owned network.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:13] Of artist-owned shows.

[1:10:15] Supported.

[1:10:16] Directly.

[1:10:17] By you.

Ep. #441 - Spice World, LIVE

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