The Flop House Movie Minute #12 - Ewe Boll Contest

Dan McCoy

[0:00] And now, the Flophouse Movie Minute.

[0:10] We here at the Flophouse have always wanted the chance to take on the work of Uwe Boll,

[0:16] the German director widely regarded as this generation's Ed Wood,

[0:20] who is primarily known for his stellar work adapting video games,

[0:24] like that film version of House of the Dead, you know, the one without the house in it.

[0:30] We thought we'd have our chance with the released DVD of In the Name of the King, colon, A Dungeon Siege Tale.

[0:36] Then we discovered that the movie is more than two hours long, and we said fuck it.

[0:40] We don't need more than 90 minutes to absorb everything Uwe has to teach us.

[0:45] But we didn't want to wait for our inevitable review of Blood Rain 2 to address this great man's work.

[0:51] So we'd like to announce the Flophouse Cast in Uwe Boll film contest.

[0:57] How does it work?

[0:58] Well, Dr. Boll's strength as a director comes in large part from the bizarre casts he's assembled.

[1:04] Boll started slowly by using the relatively tame Alone in the Dark to pair Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff with Tara Reid,

[1:12] a mere aperitif for crazier casts to come.

[1:16] In Blood Rain, Terminator 3's Christiana Lachen rubbed shoulders with Michael Madsen,

[1:20] Udo Kier,

[1:21] Udo Kier,

Dan McCoy

[1:21] Meath Loaf,

[1:22] Michael Perre,

[1:23] Michael Perre,

Dan McCoy

[1:23] lost Michelle Rodriguez,

[1:25] Oscar winner Ben Kingsley,

[1:27] and Flophouse favorite Billy Zane.

[1:31] But cast-wise,

[1:32] in the name of the King,

[1:34] colon,

Dan McCoy

[1:34] and Dungeon Siege tale is clearly his deranged masterpiece.

[1:38] Who else would make a movie starring Jason Statham,

[1:40] Lele Sobieski,

[1:41] John Rhys Davies,

[1:43] Ron Perlman,

[1:44] Claire Forlani,

[1:45] Christiana Locken again,

[1:47] Ray Liotta,

[1:48] Matthew Lillard,

[1:49] and Bert goddamn Reynolds.

[1:52] Never before have such a cross-section of acting styles, ability, or personal fame met head-to-head,

[1:59] with the possible exception of a Cannonball Run movie.

[2:03] So, the rules of the contest are simple.

[2:06] Just send an email with the headline UweBollContest to theflophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[2:13] That's E-W-E-B-O-L-L for those unfamiliar with his work.

[2:19] And, in the body of the email, name and cast your own Uwe Boll film.

[2:24] This is your chance to show that you have the ability to come up with crazy patchwork casts to challenge those of Dr. Boll.

[2:31] Extra credit will be given to those who supplement their casting with a brief character breakdown,

[2:36] explaining who the actors will be playing in your film.

[2:39] Think of it as fantasy football, only much nerdier and without the thin veneer of sports.

[2:44] The winner will be announced on the show late in October.

[2:47] The winner will receive a DVD copy of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, Season 1, as well as our effusive kudos.

[2:55] We were going to try and get Uwe Boll to actually produce your film, but then we realized that this prize actually has a higher cash value.

[3:02] Also, if you're missing absent Flophouse co-host Elliot Kalin, who's now off recovering from helping The Daily Show cover the conventions,

[3:10] go to theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com and watch the latest episode of the video podcast, Captains in Space.

[3:18] It's written by me, Dan McCoy, and Elliot makes a cameo as the voice of an alien newscaster.

[3:25] We'll be back next week with a full-length show. Thanks for listening.

The Flop House Movie Minute #12 - Ewe Boll Contest

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