The Flop House Movie Minute #12 - Ewe Boll Contest

[0:00] And now, the Flophouse Movie Minute.

[0:11] We here at the Flophouse have always wanted the chance to take on the work of Uwe Boll,

[0:16] the German director widely regarded as this generation's Ed Wood, who is primarily known

[0:21] for his stellar work adapting video games, like that film version of House of the Dead,

[0:27] you know, the one without the house in it.

[0:30] We thought we'd have our chance with the released DVD of In the Name of the King, colon, A Dungeon

[0:35] Siege Tale.

[0:36] Then we discovered that the movie is more than two hours long, and we said, fuck it.

[0:41] We don't need more than 90 minutes to absorb everything Uwe has to teach us.

[0:45] But we didn't want to wait for our inevitable review of Blood Rain 2 to address this great

[0:50] man's work.

[0:51] So we'd like to announce the Flophouse Cast an Uwe Boll Film Contest.

[0:57] How does it work?

[0:58] Well, Dr. Boll's strength as a director comes in large part from the bizarre casts he's

[1:03] assembled.

[1:04] Boll started slowly by using the relatively tame Alone in the Dark to pair Christian Slater

[1:09] and Stephen Dorff with Tara Reid, a mere aperitif for crazier casts to come.

[1:16] In Blood Rain, Terminator 3's Christiana Locken rubbed shoulders with Michael Madsen,

[1:21] Udo Kier, Meathloaf, Michael Perry, Lost's Michelle Rodriguez, Oscar winner Ben Kingsley,

[1:29] and Flophouse favorite Billy Zane.

[1:32] But cast-wise, In the Name of the King, colon, A Dungeon Siege Tale is clearly his deranged

[1:37] masterpiece.

[1:38] Who else would make a movie starring Jason Statham, Lili Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies,

[1:44] Ron Perlman, Claire Forlani, Christiana Locken again, Ray Liotta, Matthew Lillard, and Burt

[1:52] goddamn Reynolds?

[1:54] Never before have such a cross-section of acting styles, ability, or personal fame met

[1:59] head-to-head, with the possible exception of a Cannonball Run movie.

[2:04] So the rules of the contest are simple.

[2:07] Just send an email with the headline Uwe Boll Contest to theflophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[2:14] That's E-W-E-B-O-L-L for those unfamiliar with his work.

[2:20] And in the body of the email, name and cast your own Uwe Boll film.

[2:24] This is your chance to show that you have the ability to come up with crazy patchwork

[2:28] casts to challenge those of Dr. Boll.

[2:32] Extra credit will be given to those who supplement their casting with a brief character breakdown,

[2:37] explaining who the actors will be playing in your film.

[2:40] Think of it as fantasy football, only much nerdier and without the thin veneer of sports.

[2:45] The winner will be announced on the show late in October.

[2:48] The winner will receive a DVD copy of The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, Season 1, as well

[2:53] as our effusive kudos.

[2:56] We were going to try and get Uwe Boll to actually produce your film, but then we realized that

[3:00] this prize actually has a higher cash value.

[3:02] Also, if you're missing absent Flophouse co-host Elliot Kalin, who is now off recovering from

[3:08] helping The Daily Show cover the conventions, go to theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com and

[3:15] watch the latest episode of the video podcast, Captains in Space.

[3:19] It's written by me, Dan McCoy, and Elliot makes a cameo as the voice of an alien newscaster.

[3:26] We'll be back next week with a full-length show.

[3:28] Thanks for listening.

[3:38] Transcription by CastingWords

The Flop House Movie Minute #12 - Ewe Boll Contest

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