The Flop House: Episode #22 - Vantage Point

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Vantage Point, starring an all-star cast of people who didn't read the script.

[0:30] What's going on, dude?

[0:35] What's going on is we're doing a podcast called The Flophouse.

[0:40] Welcome to it.

[0:42] Yay!

[0:43] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:44] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:46] And I'm Sarah Schaefer.

[0:47] Yeah, we've got a guest tonight, Sarah Schaefer.

[0:50] Elliot Kalin, normal co-host, is very busy these days, as you probably know.

[0:56] The conventions are coming up.

[0:58] Well, kind of a convention, like a Star Trek convention?

[1:01] No.

[1:02] The Democratic Convention, followed closely by the Republican National Convention.

[1:07] So things are busy around the Daily Show offices, from what I understand.

[1:12] So he's going to be out of town for a while.

[1:14] Wait, does he work at the Daily Show?

[1:17] Yeah, I don't think we've pimped that enough, our tangential connection to something popular.

[1:22] But instead, we've got famed comedian, Sarah Schaefer.

[1:27] Wait, is that the same Sarah Schaefer from Sarah Schaefer's Obsessed With You?

[1:32] A popular stage show.

[1:33] Also, she hosted AOL's The DL.

[1:37] And she's a blogger for Best Week Ever.

[1:40] A blogger?

[1:41] Holy shit.

[1:42] Yeah.

[1:43] Where else might we know you from?

[1:45] That's pretty much it.

[1:46] Yeah.

[1:47] But, you know, blogging for Best Week Ever, that means you're perfect to talk about a bad movie.

[1:53] Perfect.

[1:55] Which is what we watched tonight.

[1:56] Well, let's not get it.

[1:57] Let's not pass judgment.

[1:58] Yeah, dude.

[1:59] Chill out.

[2:00] Come on, speak for yourself.

[2:01] He's up on the throttle there, fast driver.

[2:05] He's up Charlie's Angels full throttle.

[2:08] Dan McCoy is fast.

[2:09] That's what people, that's the word on the street.

[2:12] That's what the ladies say.

[2:14] Absolutely.

[2:15] Yeah, ladies from six years ago when I wasn't married, perhaps.

[2:19] Keep telling yourself that.

[2:20] Yeah, that's kind of strange, dude.

[2:23] But you're married?

[2:25] Let's not get into our personal lives.

[2:28] Okay.

[2:29] Let's talk about the movie we watched tonight.

[2:31] What movie was that, Stewart?

[2:33] That was Vantage Point.

[2:34] Yeah.

[2:35] That was Vantage Point, right, Sarah?

[2:36] Yes.

[2:37] Hey, did you see the trailers for this movie?

[2:39] I did, actually, a lot.

[2:42] They were pretty intense.

[2:43] They were.

[2:44] They really made me feel like I was going to go on a roller coaster ride of intrigue.

[2:48] There's a lot of actors in those trailers, right?

[2:50] And I think there's a lot of actors in this movie.

[2:52] Well, I mean, there are a lot of actors.

[2:54] I was impressed.

[2:55] Your average movie.

[2:56] As many actors as there are characters, generally.

[2:59] Yeah, I mean, duh.

[3:01] Like, no doy.

[3:02] No doy.

[3:04] But when I saw the trailer, I was like, wow, there's Forrest Whitaker and his lazy eye.

[3:09] There's Sigourney Weaver.

[3:10] There's two actors.

[3:11] There's Dennis Quaid.

[3:12] His lazy eye got an Oscar nominee for Ghost Dog, I think.

[3:16] But Matthew Fox from TV's Lost and Party of Five, right?

[3:21] That was Party of Five.

[3:22] Party of Five, yeah.

[3:23] You're a girl.

[3:24] You know about Party of Five.

[3:25] Actually, I never watched Party of Five for some reason.

[3:29] That was before the sex change, I guess.

[3:31] Yeah.

[3:32] It was, wasn't it on, I think it was on when I was in college, maybe?

[3:37] Yeah.

[3:38] You're busy studying, no doubt.

[3:40] I was.

[3:41] I was studying anatomy.

[3:43] No, I'm just kidding.

[3:44] Nice.

[3:45] No, I didn't watch a lot.

[3:48] I didn't have a TV in college, so I didn't see anything.

[3:51] Actually, when was it on?

[3:53] I don't know.

[3:54] You belonged to a sorority.

[3:55] Surely it was on someplace.

[3:57] Yeah, I mean.

[3:58] There were surely Matthew Fox.

[4:00] There were posters of Matthew Fox with a shirt off sitting on a Cadillac.

[4:05] On the front of a Chevrolet.

[4:09] I was like overachiever girl in college, and I was always doing an activity.

[4:15] So there was like a four-year period where I really did not see anything.

[4:19] You know, drama.

[4:21] Drama, sure.

[4:22] Drama.

[4:23] Sketch comedy group.

[4:25] We had to write about the cafeteria, you know.

[4:28] College sketch comedy group.

[4:30] College satire.

[4:31] Yeah, we wrote about the cafeteria.

[4:34] Dan did a comic strip like that.

[4:36] Shut up.

[4:37] Let's not talk about our college creative endeavors.

[4:40] Let's get back to the film.

[4:42] Yeah, please.

[4:44] I would say this is a Rashomon for the modern era.

[4:47] Would you agree that that's?

[4:50] I think that's probably right.

[4:52] I don't know what you're talking about because I'm not very knowledgeable on film.

[4:55] Rashomon was the.

[4:57] I'm not sure why I'm at this podcast.

[5:01] Basically, it's all about, you know, the differences in people's viewpoints.

[5:05] So you have to tell the same story from three people's viewpoints.

[5:09] The difference between me and Elliot is vast, by the way.

[5:14] Elliot knows every movie.

[5:16] You're taller.

[5:17] Yeah, you're taller for instance.

[5:18] I'm extremely.

[5:19] Significantly taller than Elliot.

[5:20] Extremely taller.

[5:21] Extremely taller.

[5:22] Roughly twice as tall.

[5:24] I think.

[5:25] I didn't get out a measuring tape.

[5:26] It comes up to my navel pretty much.

[5:27] Yeah, I didn't get a measuring tape out, but I feel pretty confident.

[5:30] No, Elliot's knowledge of movies is.

[5:33] Encyclopedic, you would say.

[5:36] Right.

[5:37] Mine.

[5:38] Literally, this is what happened recently with me.

[5:40] This is just an example of my knowledge of movies.

[5:42] And we'll give our listeners a good idea on what they're about to encounter with me.

[5:47] My husband has convinced me that I have seen the movie Hellboy.

[5:52] And I cannot remember anything from it.

[5:57] That's pretty memorable.

[5:58] Anything.

[5:59] There's a big red guy.

[6:00] No, I don't remember it at all.

[6:01] My mom had this same, like, I guess disorder.

[6:04] Yeah, moms have that.

[6:05] Where she would go see a movie and then literally two hours later.

[6:08] Because, I mean, we need to get a move on.

[6:10] Because I might forget the entire movie in the next two hours.

[6:13] My mom does that, but I think that's because she's usually a little drunk when she watches a movie.

[6:18] And that would be no different for me tonight.

[6:20] And, you know, about Elliot, he's kind of like.

[6:23] Imagine.

[6:24] We should talk about him because he's not here.

[6:26] The thing about Elliot is he's kind of like if they made the movie Short Circuit,

[6:30] but instead of robots made for war, they made robots made for, like, learning a lot about movies and talking about them.

[6:36] Sure.

[6:37] Elliot would be the Johnny Five of that group of robots.

[6:40] Right.

[6:41] Because he's kind of short and smart.

[6:43] And he talks kind of like a robot most of the time.

[6:45] But he hasn't had, like, an Ally Sheedy character in his life yet to, like, teach him that there are things other than movies.

[6:51] I think you could fill that role, Dan.

[6:53] Yeah?

[6:54] I think I could be Fisher Stevens.

[6:56] I could see what it's like to see a human naked.

[6:59] Yeah.

[7:00] For the first time.

[7:01] I could look like a turtle, like Fisher Stevens, an Indian turtle.

[7:04] Like, no disassembled movies.

[7:07] Podcasting.

[7:09] No, that's pretty good.

[7:11] Okay, so we should actually talk about the movie.

[7:13] Vantage point.

[7:14] Yeah, it's a movie about different viewpoints, but unlike Rashomon.

[7:18] Like, the point of Rashomon is people have different experiences of the same event.

[7:23] You know, like there's no one single truth.

[7:25] There's truth that's filtered through other viewpoints.

[7:28] Whereas in this movie, we just literally just see the same things happen over and over from different vantage points.

[7:36] Hey.

[7:37] And it's like a title.

[7:40] I used to watch Alias, which was, you know, a pretty good show.

[7:44] It had its flaws, but I enjoyed it.

[7:46] That's with the chick with the big forehead in it, right?

[7:48] With the dimples.

[7:50] Yeah, she looks like a skeleton.

[7:53] In a scary way.

[7:55] Towards the end of the run of the show, every other episode would be one of those episodes where it starts with a teaser of something happening.

[8:02] And, like, it gets up to a shocking point.

[8:05] And then something comes on the screen and it says, 24 hours earlier.

[8:09] Right.

[8:10] Which is my least favorite TV storytelling convention now because it's just like, God damn, why can't you just tell?

[8:19] And, like, this whole movie was just, like, 23 minutes earlier over and over again.

[8:24] Over and over again.

[8:25] Yeah.

[8:26] And, you know, like, the first time it happens, you're like, oh, cool.

[8:29] This is a different way of telling a story.

[8:32] Oh, weird.

[8:33] Not linear.

[8:36] As it proceeds, you realize that you are getting about as much new information in each, like, retelling as you get in, like, one of those soap opera comic strips in the newspaper where they're like, it's going to progress, like, literally one panel's worth every day.

[8:53] Yeah.

[8:54] Like Mary Worth or Apartment 3G or something.

[8:56] Yeah, exactly.

[8:57] Sure.

[8:59] Or, like, later Funky Winker Bean comic strips where you're like, why are they being so fucking serious, dude?

[9:05] It's Funky Winker Bean.

[9:06] Everyone's dying in Funky Winker Bean.

[9:08] Did that chick commit suicide?

[9:09] What the F?

[9:10] Wait, Funky Winker, she had cancer and she, like, I mean.

[9:13] Wasn't there, I don't want to talk about it.

[9:15] Yeah, it's really sad.

[9:16] Let's not get into it.

[9:17] Funky Winker Bean, I remember when I was a kid, that was a comic strip that was basically made for band directors, high school band directors to put up on their walls.

[9:25] Yeah.

[9:26] Yeah.

[9:27] Which, and then later on, I revisited it as an adult, and I was like, when did this turn into a tragedy?

[9:32] Yeah.

[9:33] Man, this shit's kind of sad.

[9:34] It is really sad.

[9:35] But that Winker Bean is funky.

[9:37] Yeah.

[9:38] That Funky Bean is really Winker.

[9:41] Nice.

[9:42] I was wondering why the comic is mainly about a guy with glasses and not the titular character.

[9:49] His name's Les.

[9:50] I didn't pay that attention.

[9:51] Oh, gosh.

[9:52] We really are of no interest to the topic.

[9:54] The vantage point is.

[9:55] Sure, what's that?

[9:56] No.

[9:57] Is that every single, it was like Little Vagabond.

[10:00] vignettes of each person's vantage point. Every single little vignette ended with them

[10:05] seeing something incredible. And then like a flare or something?

[10:09] Yeah, like incredibly like telling and like, oh my gosh, I realize the shit's gonna hit

[10:15] the fan, or I just saw the answer. Yeah, the pieces are falling into place.

[10:19] But you don't even see it, so you don't even get the puzzle piece. So it's basically like

[10:23] you know there's a puzzle, you know all these people have a piece, but you never get to

[10:27] see any of the pieces, even at the end of the movie.

[10:30] Except at the end you realize that there wasn't really a puzzle. It was just a really straightforward

[10:35] story that some screenwriter was like, okay, this is not gonna sell. I gotta, maybe if

[10:40] I like just cut up the screenplay, throw it up in the air, and then reassemble it.

[10:45] I actually knew a playwright that did that. He cut a script in half, and then like realigned,

[10:51] I'm not kidding, like and realigned. It was in college. He's a really smart guy. He realigned

[10:56] the pages, and that was the play. Did it work?

[10:59] No, it was horrible. And that playwright was Sam Shepard.

[11:03] It was Arthur Miller, I'm really old. Wait a minute, you're Marilyn Monroe.

[11:11] The thing is, it really feels like this was just like a C-grade thriller that they're

[11:16] like, you know what, this shit is 25 minutes long.

[11:21] And yet. Let's extend it by just making a bunch of

[11:24] different characters have vantage points. Yeah, let's extend it by repeating those 25

[11:27] minutes over and over again. And instead of thriller, untitled thriller

[11:32] set in Spain, let's change it to a vantage point. Untitled Forrest Whitaker movie.

[11:39] Hot off of his success in Last King of Scotland, where he played a guy with a lazy eye, who

[11:45] was a dictator, who was I think in love with James McAvoy, who liked to videotape things.

[11:52] Yeah, he was way into videotaping things. And he really liked that little Spanish girl

[11:57] who was on the mainstream. Let's talk briefly about Forrest Whitaker's

[12:01] vantage point. We're going to talk about his arc, right?

[12:03] Because we... That's what it's called.

[12:06] What was the inciting incident for Forrest Whitaker?

[12:10] You guys have to provide the third act, because I have no technical background on that sort

[12:15] of thing. I've just read a lot of useless screenplay.

[12:18] I'm reading story right now, actually. And it's both beautiful work of his.

[12:24] Sarah Schaefer and I have both either written or are writing a screenplay, so if you want

[12:29] to purchase one from someone who likes any kind of movie, write us.

[12:35] But Forrest Whitaker, basically what happens is the president gets shot, or he appears

[12:40] to get shot. Spoiler alert!

[12:44] And then the place where he's holding this speech in Spain blows up.

[12:50] There's all these protestors around. I'm not really clear on what they're protesting

[12:54] about. America.

[12:55] There's so many missing information in this movie.

[12:59] Forrest Whitaker, clearly his first time abroad. He's very excited. He's videotaping everything.

[13:05] He videotapes something that he thinks is related to the killing, and it turns out to

[13:10] be. But then there's this big chase scene immediately thereafter.

[13:14] The Plaza, I guess Piazza would be Italy. It blows up, and there's a chase where they're

[13:20] running down the guy they think is involved. And Forrest Whitaker, for whatever reason,

[13:25] decides, oh, I've got to go help the police.

[13:28] And videotapes the chase.

[13:31] I think he's thinking YouTube, or hard copy, or a current affair.

[13:37] Current affair.

[13:38] Is that show still on?

[13:40] I don't think so, with the triangles.

[13:43] It was awesome.

[13:44] He's going to write a bestselling book, A Lazy Eye Who Would Kill.

[13:47] Nice.

[13:48] Current affair was literally like the Perez Hilton of our youth.

[13:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[13:54] Just the trashiest.

[13:55] I loved it when I was a kid, and I felt like I had to take a shower when I was a kid.

[13:58] Even then, I was like, this shit is kind of weird.

[14:03] Forrest Whitaker made friends with the small Spanish people for the explosion,

[14:08] basically by knocking her ice cream over.

[14:10] And then offering her to buy more ice cream.

[14:12] Yeah.

[14:13] And then after the explosion, I guess he decided that he was her foster parent.

[14:16] Exactly.

[14:17] This is all based on, they tried to establish his motivation, I guess, as a character,

[14:23] by one phone call that he makes.

[14:26] Right.

[14:27] One conversation he has with a guy who ends up being a terrorist.

[14:31] Where he's referencing that he's left his wife and kids, going through a rough patch.

[14:37] And I just don't believe that this guy chose to come to Spain by himself.

[14:43] He really liked the architecture, right?

[14:45] Isn't that what he was taking film of?

[14:47] He was just trying to experience life.

[14:49] He was taking it all in by looking in the viewfinder of his video camera.

[14:52] He was going to have some chapas later.

[14:54] There are a lot of people in the movie, like Dennis Quaid, Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt.

[15:00] All going for tapas later, right?

[15:02] Matthew Fox, as we mentioned before.

[15:04] The thing is, a lot of these stars are on the rise.

[15:07] Some of them, not so much.

[15:09] Well, the terrorist guy, whose brother was being held hostage.

[15:13] He's in other stuff, but I don't, this is why I'm a bad person to have on the side.

[15:18] He's in other stuff.

[15:19] I've seen him in it.

[15:20] I have no idea what his name is or what he was in.

[15:22] Certainly a recognizable face.

[15:24] He looks like he should be in one of the mummy movies.

[15:27] He looks like he should be in one of those guys.

[15:29] Well, he's not Oded Fair.

[15:30] Well, he's not Oded Fair because he doesn't have a cool beard.

[15:33] Somebody look it up.

[15:35] I would assume that Ollywood being what it is, and him being a worthy actor,

[15:40] he probably played other terrorists.

[15:42] Maybe.

[15:43] Yeah, he definitely is in action films from, I don't know.

[15:47] Like True Lies.

[15:48] Or maybe Mickey TV.

[15:49] Probably True Lies.

[15:51] That's where I usually go.

[15:53] That was just a great movie.

[15:55] Sure it was.

[15:56] Non-stop action.

[15:57] And laughs.

[15:58] So many laughs.

[15:59] Wow, this is so zany.

[16:00] A young Eliza Dishku.

[16:02] Tom Arnold.

[16:03] You know what I hate about True Lies?

[16:05] What about?

[16:06] I'll bite.

[16:08] What a fucking misogynist film.

[16:10] Oh, come on.

[16:12] No, it is like, I mean like,

[16:13] Okay, I suspect my wife of having an affair,

[16:16] so I'm going to humiliate the guy.

[16:20] I'm not going to ask her about it.

[16:21] I'm going to humiliate the guy.

[16:23] Then I'm going to trick my wife into doing a strip tease for me.

[16:27] Okay.

[16:28] I'm still waiting.

[16:29] It just seems like a really oddly angry movie.

[16:34] And then they get attacked by terrorists,

[16:37] and then luckily he's an amazing secret agent and saves the day.

[16:41] Right.

[16:42] Yeah.

[16:43] Tia Carrera was in that.

[16:44] Yeah, she was.

[16:45] She made an announcement relatively early on in her career

[16:50] that she was never going to get topless.

[16:52] I stopped paying attention to Tia Carrera very soon after.

[16:54] Because like, come on, what else is she going to provide?

[16:57] Yeah.

[16:58] You know what movie you're reminding me of right now?

[17:01] True Lies.

[17:02] True Lies.

[17:03] Nice.

[17:04] Oh, I get it.

[17:06] Oh, Vantage Point.

[17:07] While we're talking about Vantage Point.

[17:09] So, also, Dennis Quaid, as I said, was in it.

[17:11] He was, I guess, the hero.

[17:13] Sure.

[17:14] In so much as there was a hero in the movie.

[17:16] Looking more grizzled and Harrison Ford-like.

[17:19] He frowned a lot.

[17:21] He did.

[17:22] I was about to say, he made mug faces a lot.

[17:26] He can't see me, but I'm making his face right now.

[17:29] It was amazing.

[17:30] It was like Dennis Quaid was in the room.

[17:32] And the camera, a couple times, zoomed in really fast on his face.

[17:35] And it was like, comical in a way.

[17:37] It was just like, zoom.

[17:38] Because imagine, there is a guy with a frowny face, but his eyes were really wide.

[17:42] Yeah.

[17:43] So he almost looked like a surprised bulldog.

[17:45] Yes, exactly.

[17:47] And, well, he had sort of the same character arc, I guess, as Clint Eastwood in The Line of Fire.

[17:54] Okay.

[17:55] Where he was shaken by a previous assassination attempt.

[17:59] Although, unlike in The Line of Fire, he successfully prevented the previous assassination attempt.

[18:05] So, it was sort of weird.

[18:06] It was like, he had to protect himself from being a successful Secret Service agent.

[18:12] I can't get over that job well done.

[18:14] Yeah.

[18:15] I took a bullet for the President of the United States of America.

[18:18] I hate myself.

[18:19] I should have been able to reflect that bullet with my chest.

[18:21] So, he's shaky.

[18:22] He's looking for redemption for success.

[18:25] And he's getting a little bit of support from his fellow Secret Service agent, Matthew Fox.

[18:32] Yeah.

[18:33] Right?

[18:34] Or is he?

[18:35] Chill out with the spoilers, dude.

[18:36] Okay.

[18:37] I think we're going to jump ahead.

[18:38] Yeah.

[18:39] Matthew Fox is totally a bad guy and a Secret Service man.

[18:41] Which makes the movie very strange.

[18:44] I would think that if a person made all the effort to be a Secret Service agent,

[18:49] he'd have plenty more opportunities to kill a President than the one presented in the film.

[18:53] I was saying, I'll give credit where it's due.

[18:56] Matt Bird, a guy that Stu and I are both friendly with.

[19:00] I'm not.

[19:01] I hate that guy.

[19:02] I don't know whether she's ever actually met him.

[19:05] He pointed out, yeah, they've got a man on the inside.

[19:08] A man who is a Secret Service agent.

[19:10] So if their plan is ultimately to kidnap the President,

[19:14] which it is because another shocking twist,

[19:17] the guy who got shot was the President's double.

[19:20] Which they gave away in the preview, by the way.

[19:22] I knew coming in that that was going to happen.

[19:24] He looked creepily like William Hurt.

[19:26] Was he a clone?

[19:27] Well, I'm wondering if they used William Hurt up until the point that you knew it was a double

[19:32] and then they put the double in.

[19:34] Because once they mentioned...

[19:36] Wait a minute.

[19:37] Are you asking if the person, like the actor?

[19:39] Yeah.

[19:40] It was probably William Hurt the whole time.

[19:42] I don't know, though.

[19:43] Because after they mentioned the double, he did look slightly different.

[19:46] Now, that might have been my mind.

[19:49] It might have been Hollywood movie magic.

[19:51] I mean, really.

[19:52] They could have just done a little...

[19:53] Put a bigger nose.

[19:55] Right.

[19:56] I think it was a real missed opportunity.

[19:58] They didn't have a parent forever.

[20:00] split-screen moment where they're shaking hands like Dave.

[20:07] Yep, like one guy's getting coffee at the presidential coffee bar.

[20:11] Hey, you look like me.

[20:13] And then they start doing a mirror dance.

[20:16] Maybe one guy wipes a little bit up.

[20:18] Lucille Ball comes in.

[20:20] Yeah, that sounds great.

[20:21] Harpo Marks.

[20:22] Or I think they miss the opportunity of not having a guy who looks obviously not like William Hurt to be the double.

[20:29] Like that would have been great.

[20:30] Like a guy possibly with hair and a beard.

[20:34] You got Philip Seymour Hoffman in.

[20:36] That would have been great, dude.

[20:38] I guess they look kind of alike.

[20:40] Or maybe Forrest Whitaker.

[20:42] If they had gotten Forrest Whitaker to play two roles,

[20:45] but the guy filming it and the president's double,

[20:48] I think that would have been great.

[20:49] I think he could have pulled it off, dude.

[20:51] He got an Academy Award after all.

[20:52] Right.

[20:53] One white face.

[20:55] Yeah, that works.

[20:56] I saw Tropic Thunder.

[20:57] Ultimately, what their plan is to kidnap the president and not to shoot him.

[21:02] But the whole point is either way, they have a man on the inside.

[21:06] They have a man who works directly with the president as a Secret Service agent.

[21:09] He could easily have done this.

[21:12] And gotten alone with the president.

[21:14] And then they could have shuffled him off.

[21:17] But then there would have only been two vantage points.

[21:18] Right.

[21:19] I'm not going to watch that.

[21:23] I want to see as many vantage points as possible.

[21:26] That's almost like a regular movie where there's just one vantage point.

[21:29] Right, it's called The Protagonist.

[21:31] Yeah, I need multiple vantage points.

[21:34] I'm a discerning consumer.

[21:35] Sure.

[21:36] I'm paying extra.

[21:38] Cloverfield, no thank you.

[21:40] That just has one vantage point of a camcorder.

[21:45] Thanks for clarifying that.

[21:48] The camcorder is The Protagonist.

[21:50] Duh.

[21:51] So the thing is that this movie had a lot of vantage points.

[21:55] But ultimately didn't require them.

[21:57] It wasn't like they used the extra vantage points to be like, oh, it's like Sirianna.

[22:00] How did this affect each person's life?

[22:02] It's like Sirianna.

[22:03] And I can kind of see, I can identify with the terrorists.

[22:06] That didn't happen.

[22:07] Yeah, you didn't even understand why the terrorists were doing what they were doing.

[22:11] It was literally two terrorists.

[22:13] They were terrorists, Sarah.

[22:15] Oh, right, right.

[22:16] They're evil.

[22:17] They hate our freedoms.

[22:18] Well, there's one guy who was a terrorist because the other terrorist had his brother.

[22:23] Yeah, but ultimately it was two terrorists that were doing this.

[22:27] If you were a terrorist and the other terrorist had your brother and were threatening to kill him,

[22:32] would you be able to kill a bunch of people?

[22:34] My brother?

[22:35] Yeah, sure.

[22:38] So you'd let terrorists kill your brother if it meant...

[22:41] I don't know if I'd let him.

[22:43] I think it would be more that I don't know that I would be up for, like physically...

[22:47] Well, yeah, I don't think I'd be capable of taking on a bunch of Secret Service guys.

[22:51] I don't have, like, a phone that detonates C4 or uses a robot machine gun.

[22:55] Like, I don't have that.

[22:57] Yeah, they had, like, a Palm Pilot to carry.

[23:01] That was my major problem.

[23:03] The terrorists literally, like, at one minute in the movie, they had no respect for human life.

[23:08] And then the next, they were like, well, we don't want to kill one of our own,

[23:12] so we've got to set up this robot machine gun.

[23:14] Yeah, I guess that was the thing with Matthew Fox.

[23:19] They were like, you're too valuable to us as a person,

[23:22] so rather than have you, like, just sacrifice your position as a Secret Service agent,

[23:27] we're going to go through this elaborate scheme that involves smuggling in, like,

[23:31] a motorized machine gun that can be operated by a Palm Pilot, as you say,

[23:36] through, I guess, I don't know, satellites.

[23:39] Yeah, the Internet.

[23:40] Sure.

[23:41] 3G.

[23:42] I don't know that much about it.

[23:44] Technology can do anything.

[23:45] It's an app.

[23:46] It's an iPhone app.

[23:48] iPhone app, nice.

[23:50] I assassinated the president.

[23:53] Can we talk about the very end?

[23:55] Yeah, let's do it.

[23:56] Sure, why not?

[23:57] Is this when all the vantage points merge into one place?

[23:59] Well, that's what bothered me the absolute most,

[24:02] is these terrorists basically threw their entire mission for a small child

[24:07] that was standing in the highway.

[24:09] Well, not any small child.

[24:11] The small child who Forest Whitaker had taken such a shine to earlier in the movie.

[24:16] The best part about it, too, is that they avoid hitting the girl

[24:19] by, like, flipping their car onto its side,

[24:21] which, if it wasn't for Forest Whitaker, would still smash the girl.

[24:25] At the point that you've kidnapped the president of the U.S.,

[24:29] you're not going to bulk it running down.

[24:32] Right, you've blown up tons of people.

[24:34] The little girl was in the plaza when they set off bombs.

[24:37] Yes, very possibly could have been the victim of that explosion.

[24:40] Right, but then when they see her in the road,

[24:43] she was a ghost.

[24:45] She was an angel sent by God to save the president of the United States of America.

[24:49] I said what everybody was already saying.

[24:52] I put words to it.

[24:54] She was the ring, the little girl from the ring, but cleaned up a little.

[24:57] Oh, my God.

[24:58] Cleaned up a little and not a magical monster.

[25:00] Samurais and monsters.

[25:02] No engaged in politics.

[25:04] She did look a little Asian.

[25:06] She liked ice cream.

[25:08] You know what they say about Asians and ice cream.

[25:10] Was it Dippin' Dots?

[25:12] She came from the future.

[25:15] Yeah, I totally agree with you.

[25:17] That's totally weird, and I don't understand how.

[25:20] It's like if there was a deer in the road.

[25:23] You're not going to drive out of the way and smash yourself.

[25:25] You're going to drive through the deer.

[25:27] You still might hurt the deer if you flip your car

[25:29] and smash the deer with the roof of your car.

[25:32] So you're saying that when you're driving,

[25:34] you can spit on small children on the same level as the deer.

[25:37] And you got the president in the backseat.

[25:39] If I had the president knocked out in the backseat,

[25:42] wait, was he even knocked out at that point?

[25:44] He was fighting, I think, at this point.

[25:45] The best part was when he did wake up,

[25:47] and he's like, I got this cool pipe.

[25:49] I'm going to smash the terrorists.

[25:50] He bonks one on the head, and it doesn't even knock her out.

[25:53] She's like, oh, how did you do it?

[25:56] That's smart.

[25:58] They're driving down in the ambulance.

[26:01] They've been keeping the president sedated.

[26:04] Again, I'm not really sure what they're planning to do with the president.

[26:07] They're just taking him somewhere.

[26:09] I was hoping that they would have accidentally killed him

[26:11] and then had to pull, like, a Weekend at Bernie's type thing for him.

[26:14] Give us a million dollars.

[26:17] You better give it to him.

[26:19] That was me pretending like I was a marionette president.

[26:22] Look, it's the president holding up a newspaper,

[26:24] and they have, like, strings attached to his arms,

[26:26] and he's holding his finger.

[26:28] He's still alive.

[26:31] I get the feeling you guys talk about Weekend at Bernie's every time.

[26:35] We actually haven't that much.

[26:37] It's strange, right?

[26:38] Cash has come up recently, but not Weekend at Bernie's.

[26:41] Yeah, they're both really good movies.

[26:44] Fine films.

[26:45] Yeah, I think it's assumed that we would talk about Weekend at Bernie's.

[26:48] But why did they even kill the double in the first place?

[26:50] Why didn't they just kidnap the president?

[26:52] Yeah, that was the other thing.

[26:54] To create a distraction.

[26:57] Isn't the distraction the double doing the speech?

[27:00] Like, that's where all the attention in the world is.

[27:02] Once you shoot the double, then everybody's on alert.

[27:07] Everyone's freaking out.

[27:08] But obviously they weren't.

[27:10] And then if they actually had the president,

[27:12] if they were going to ransom him, why would anyone pay the ransom?

[27:16] Because everybody thinks the president's already dead.

[27:19] Wouldn't they just be like, let's just cut our losses?

[27:23] Yeah, it would be too complicated of a story for the U.S. public to understand.

[27:29] The red states is what you're saying?

[27:31] U.S. public, sure.

[27:32] Where I'm from?

[27:33] Sure.

[27:34] There was a part earlier in the movie where they're like,

[27:37] we can't reveal that that was a double that got shot.

[27:40] Like one of the president's advisors was like,

[27:42] because that tells them that that wasn't really the president making the speech.

[27:46] And I'm like, but wouldn't the world be so excited to learn

[27:49] that the president actually gets shot that they'll forgive him using the double?

[27:52] Oh, that was really clever that you put that down.

[27:54] Good job.

[27:55] I think Americans think it was pretty cool too.

[27:57] Like, oh my God, they use doubles?

[27:59] Wow.

[28:00] All the intrigue.

[28:02] That's like super spy stuff.

[28:04] Genius.

[28:05] Yeah, I think we need to call the writer a vantage point right now.

[28:09] Yeah.

[28:10] He's probably busy making lots of money writing other great movies.

[28:15] Yeah.

[28:16] So you met Sigourney Weaver once.

[28:19] I did meet Sigourney Weaver.

[28:20] She was handsome.

[28:21] She was a handsome woman?

[28:22] She was handsome.

[28:23] Oh, yeah, that was another thing.

[28:24] Sigourney Weaver was not in the movie enough.

[28:26] Yeah, she was like barely, barely in the movie.

[28:29] She was the producer, the field producer for GNN.

[28:33] I guess the Global News Network.

[28:36] You just pieced that together or?

[28:39] I assume, unless it was the Glue News Network.

[28:42] Okay, that's probably not that.

[28:44] I wish it was VNN, then it could have been called Vantage.

[28:49] That probably would have been more appropriate for the movie.

[28:52] Seriously.

[28:53] But wait, how did you meet Sigourney Weaver?

[28:55] She came into my store one time.

[28:57] She sold little plastic and metal men to people, to human beings.

[29:02] Dan, I thought you said this guy was legit.

[29:07] In order to enjoy those little plastic and metal men, you have to paint them.

[29:11] So she bought some paint for me for, I think, to touch up a lamp or something.

[29:17] I was a little starstruck.

[29:19] Significantly more starstruck than when Robin Williams came in

[29:23] because I was more just shocked

[29:25] because he's significantly smaller and hairier than I would have imagined.

[29:29] I thought he was one of those guys from Land of the Lost, right?

[29:33] Yeah.

[29:34] Not the reptile men, but the little hairy guys.

[29:37] What was the movie where the guy painted the little soldiers?

[29:41] 40-Year-Old Virgin.

[29:43] Yes.

[29:44] Wait, were they soldiers or dolls?

[29:46] We had the dolls.

[29:48] There's a little bit of both.

[29:49] There's both.

[29:50] He's painting.

[29:52] Are you asking if my company's models were in some of those shots?

[29:55] Are you a virgin is what I'm asking.

[29:57] I am a virgin.

[30:00] uh... thanks for the laughter

[30:02] uh... i'm gonna go ahead myself but don't pay you starting this had to brag

[30:07] about meetings according to

[30:09] he was propositioned her is that there is still matters i offered her and she

[30:13] said i think that's a good you don't hurt her hand in the manhood yep i

[30:17] actually i don't really played the role in forty-year-old version of what's her

[30:20] face which is like i'll be very discreet the

[30:23] the way it offers ourselves and we're going to put up all that i don't want i

[30:27] totally agree i bet that i think she's underutilized as a comedic actress and

[30:31] uh... i think that you would make a really good mom

[30:34] yeah

[30:36] and i think that uh...

[30:37] i feel bad that she was in fact it's point

[30:39] well i'm totally disappointed everybody else i mean william hurt like

[30:43] i don't know maybe just want to be in a movie where he was the best where was

[30:46] like hey i just want to show off look i'm better than all these other clients

[30:50] but uh... yeah that's the glory we were really skated by

[30:54] without really doing anything i'm really annoying in that movie she was

[30:57] she didn't she was just there she can't play the role straighten they didn't do

[31:02] her vantage point really it

[31:03] well maybe she didn't have yet maybe there was like uh... cutscene we didn't

[31:07] check the

[31:08] but it's been yeah as as is true with many uh... flop house films

[31:14] this was a trim

[31:16] eighty three minutes eighty three minutes

[31:18] and patted at that

[31:19] you know what i forgot to mention before was in addition to all the normal

[31:23] flashbacks the only three minutes before flashbacks

[31:27] there was and this is another flophouse trend

[31:29] there were personal flashbacks of the characters would have

[31:32] two things that they said

[31:35] things that they themselves said not things like five minutes before five

[31:38] minutes earlier or less

[31:41] yeah

[31:42] this is a guy released the third time this happened one of these movies where

[31:46] the movies like remember remember what you just watched in the previous scene

[31:50] it's like they don't have enough it's like they ran out of money and couldn't

[31:53] film anymore and they have to fill time with that i don't really

[31:57] understand

[31:58] i think they're trying to make like put up like a exclamation point on what he

[32:01] said like hey remember when that guy said that thing first of all i want you

[32:05] to remember that that's a really cool line

[32:07] i really want you to understand that what he said was really ominous and cool

[32:11] sound now let's make you remember that it's important to the plot

[32:15] the president exploded

[32:17] and he just thought about that

[32:21] we have to talk about uh... dennis quaid's flashback yeah that's that's a

[32:25] problem i had thank you for bringing that up because there's a moment like

[32:29] when during dennis quaid's vantage point where okay we've we've just discussed

[32:33] that dennis quaid was a secret service agent

[32:37] who took a bullet for the president so he was successful in his job

[32:39] but uh...

[32:41] at the beginning of his vantage point he's like sitting on a bed in his

[32:44] hotel room with his shirt off like staring off into space and he picks up like

[32:48] thing of pills that you have no idea what they are i don't know and you know

[32:52] he takes a couple and while he's taking them he has like there's a black and

[32:55] white shot of him being shot by this guy and it's clearly from like the news

[33:00] footage we'd already seen the news footage of him being shot like

[33:03] so i'm trying to figure out if if he was like if he was having this flashback

[33:07] because he's like man i looked really dorky when i was getting shot like

[33:11] i don't really get it

[33:14] when he was watching himself on gnn from the hospital

[33:17] it's like i can't believe i look so silly

[33:20] and then like they of course which was all to like

[33:23] set this up you know prior to that we'd already seen this footage because

[33:27] Sigourney Weaver was like Barnes is here

[33:30] like they know all the secret service agents the greatest secret service agent of all time

[33:35] Barnes is here pull up archive footage and then there's another guy pull up archive footage

[33:38] it's like a chain reaction

[33:39] and then when when Dennis Quaid comes back in

[33:42] Dennis Quaid bursts into gnn's like trailer at one point

[33:46] yeah like to their control center and sees

[33:50] how they had pulled up this footage and sees it on one of the screens and like

[33:53] stops and he's like i was shot one time

[33:58] yeah he sees a picture of himself being shot

[34:00] in the middle of all this chaos he's like that was sad

[34:04] yeah it's like that's that was a time when i was successful in being shot for

[34:08] the president but i think ultimately the point of today

[34:10] this film is that uh all Dennis Quaid's efforts were for naught

[34:15] because the uh scheme was taken down by the fact

[34:19] that those uh terrorists swerved in the back of their ambulance to avoid

[34:24] that kid yeah that really was the reason at the end

[34:29] yeah well i like to think that maybe that girl would have done

[34:33] her uh her spanish patriotic duty by getting hit by the van and then like

[34:37] gumming up the tires a little bit like with her

[34:41] carcass so you're saying that either whether or not she's were

[34:44] the van she was definitely too old to be running into the street without yeah

[34:48] and then like seeing the the ambulance coming and just like

[34:50] freezing like a deer like oh no mom

[34:56] is mommy are you my mommy and no that's not your mom that's an

[35:02] ambulance with forrest whitaker chasing after

[35:04] it was just weird and then like in that moment of course it was that

[35:08] one of my favorite things to happen in a movie where like you know at that at

[35:11] that climax of the movie everything comes together

[35:13] you have like lots of slow motion and like zooming in like

[35:17] oh no there's the girl the van speeding up oh no

[35:21] zoom in on the guy driving the van what's he gonna do zoom in on forrest

[35:25] whitaker running shouting yeah it was great

[35:30] so let's uh it was shocking let's close this out let's close the segment out

[35:34] with the um the traditional final judgment on vantage point

[35:38] um i'll repeat it for the benefit of sarah and our listeners

[35:43] the three official flop house categories are is this

[35:46] a good bad movie i.e something funny to watch with friends

[35:50] a bad bad movie a movie that really isn't worth your time at all

[35:54] or a movie that you kind of liked you found some sort of redeeming value in

[35:58] sarah what do you say about this movie bad bad

[36:01] bad bad bad bad yeah it's not that they didn't go far enough with the bad

[36:06] to make it a good bad how about you dan well things like the first 15 minutes of

[36:10] this movie i was like this could be okay like before like the first before it

[36:15] rewinds basically i'm like this has all the elements

[36:19] of you know it's got a good cast sure moving along like it's competently

[36:23] directed and then with every succeeding like

[36:27] rewind in time it got worse and worse so

[36:30] basically first 10 minutes uh okay movie next 60 minutes

[36:36] bad bad movie and then last 10 minutes good bad movie

[36:41] yeah but um i like that assessment it doesn't work out

[36:45] you know the math doesn't work out to it being worth watching

[36:49] yeah i'm gonna agree with you it's bad bad like it's it's just like there's

[36:53] it's so fast and like you kind of feel like you wasted

[36:56] an hour and 23 minutes watching this movie

[37:00] kind of and like i definitely just i frankly i frankly rather angry i guess

[37:05] i'd rather be sitting on like a subway train reading i don't know

[37:08] like the the advertisements

[37:13] yeah for an hour and 20 23 there's a lot of jameson's ads

[37:18] like subway dr z's more facial treatments

[37:22] okay what's his story he sure likes rainbows

[37:26] yeah yep what's it i think i'm gonna go to vocational school

[37:31] these are jokes specifically for new yorkers it's like you're watching

[37:35] the most inside episode of seinfeld well this is being broadcast live on gawker

[37:40] right now so

[37:43] uh so we just rated this movie as a steaming turd

[37:48] so don't watch it and matthew fox you should be ashamed of yourself dude

[37:54] go back to lost okay no yeah and william hurt i don't blame you that

[37:59] much and ford whittaker it's probably not your fault you

[38:02] probably agreed to this movie you're amazing you were like you're way

[38:06] too busy like the various actors scorny weaver it's okay if you want to

[38:11] come over and we can talk about that he looked at his watch just then like

[38:15] let me check i do have time let's talk about bernie weaver if you're

[38:21] listening to this podcast and you remember that handsome deep-voiced

[38:24] fellow you bought some paint from oh whoever the girl is at the very

[38:27] beginning of the movie playing the correspondent can go to hell

[38:30] yeah she was horrible what's her deal she kind of looks like will smith's wife

[38:33] but it's not her yeah agreed yeah jada pinkett smith yeah i'm gonna

[38:38] say pink head so um probably i don't know before we get

[38:42] on what's the next stage well before we get on to our

[38:44] recommendations i'm going to take care of a little business we have been

[38:48] running a flop house am i fired yeah you i you haven't missed it do you

[38:53] need my social if anyone's job is in trouble it's

[38:57] elliot yes uh can you here's my w2 yep what's your uh what's your credit card

[39:02] number all uh flop house listeners should send

[39:07] in their social security numbers um their addresses and their mother's

[39:10] maiden names this is a really elaborate phishing

[39:13] scam okay this whole last year has just been set

[39:18] up no uh we've been running a contest a

[39:21] flop house contest the hell you say to um win the fabulous

[39:27] prize to pay all the expenses yourself to come

[39:31] and watch a movie with us and be on the podcast

[39:35] oh it sounds pretty good and we have a winner

[39:39] well i mean look at where we are i mean this is pretty

[39:42] my palatial this is dope i think that's a good summary i mean

[39:48] yeah no go ahead describe it describe the it goes on forever first of all i

[39:52] mean this is probably one of the biggest experiments i've ever seen

[39:55] sure i'm surprised you don't have a big echo problem in here

[39:58] yep

[40:00] I've got special talent.

[40:01] What are these?

[40:02] 30-foot ceilings?

[40:03] Yep.

[40:04] And all the chandeliers, too.

[40:05] And God, the skyline.

[40:06] And you have to ride a pony to go to the bathroom.

[40:07] You have to ride a pony down the hill to the bathroom.

[40:08] Because there's a hill in the apartment.

[40:09] I don't ride the quad.

[40:10] Well, the golf cart.

[40:11] I don't know why you wouldn't.

[40:12] I prefer the golf cart.

[40:13] I'd ride the pony.

[40:14] I mean, I like feeling an animal between my legs.

[40:15] Dan just has his butler come and catch it in his hands, so.

[40:16] Sure.

[40:17] All right.

[40:18] That's...

[40:19] Let's get a little less etiological.

[40:20] Every conversation goes back to poo.

[40:21] That's my theory in life.

[40:22] Okay.

[40:23] No, the winner.

[40:24] Let's not keep her in suspense, because it is a her.

[40:25] Oh, wow.

[40:26] Oh.

[40:27] It is...

[40:28] The winner's being announced right now?

[40:29] Yeah.

[40:30] Oh, my God.

[40:31] I didn't realize this.

[40:32] Should we announce why this person won?

[40:33] No, let me...

[40:34] What was the criteria?

[40:47] You can't tell the difference between me and her.

[40:48] What was the criteria?

[40:49] All right.

[40:50] Okay.

[40:51] You're in charge.

[40:52] You're in the driver's seat.

[40:53] I'm just riding.

[40:54] The criteria was, purposely vague.

[40:55] And she really took advantage of that.

[40:56] Her name is Judy.

[40:58] I will withhold the last name and tell such time as she gives permission to give it.

[41:05] Sure, that's fair.

[41:06] But...

[41:07] You're going to have, like, about 4,000 Judy's calling you out today.

[41:11] No, she knows, because...

[41:12] She knows who she is.

[41:13] What she did was, she did temporary tattoos, or at least I hope they're temporary, of all

[41:20] of our faces, with our names, and sent photos of these tattoos, including the face and name

[41:29] of original Flophouse host, Simon Fisher.

[41:32] Sure.

[41:33] Wow.

[41:34] With a big X through it, to indicate that he's no longer on the show.

[41:36] Oh, she's accurate.

[41:37] Yeah.

[41:38] Yeah.

[41:39] She's up to date.

[41:40] Which I think is pretty awesome.

[41:41] With her permission, I will email her and see if it's okay.

[41:44] I will post those on the Flophouse website, theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com, so everyone

[41:51] can enjoy them, if it's okay with her.

[41:55] I'm very considerate of a woman's needs, Sarah.

[41:59] Don't lie to me.

[42:00] Oh, I'm sorry.

[42:01] I just worry about my own needs, usually.

[42:04] So she has won the contest, provided, as Stuart pointed out, that she is of age, that she

[42:10] is 18 years old.

[42:12] Not minor.

[42:13] You better be 18.

[42:16] If she is a minor, we will find out some other alternate prize.

[42:20] Yeah.

[42:21] Like a year's supply of bubble gum or something.

[42:24] Yeah.

[42:25] Whatever kids like.

[42:26] Whatever kids like, yeah.

[42:27] Like scrapbook stickers, or a couple of Jonas Brothers t-shirts, or something.

[42:31] Yeah.

[42:32] Scratch and Sniff stickers, maybe.

[42:34] That's contemporary, right?

[42:35] I'm pretty happy.

[42:36] Yeah.

[42:37] You're good.

[42:38] That's good.

[42:40] Sure.

[42:41] Whatever that is.

[42:42] Camp?

[42:43] Yeah, that camp movie.

[42:44] The movie Camp?

[42:45] No, no.

[42:46] Not that.

[42:47] Not the movie Camp.

[42:48] That camp movie.

[42:49] That's a great movie.

[42:50] Sleepaway Camp?

[42:51] No.

[42:52] Sleepaway Camp.

[42:53] All the modern kids love Sleepaway.

[42:54] Camp Rock.

[42:55] Isn't that what it's called?

[42:56] Camp Rock, yeah.

[42:57] It's like a high school musical spinoff.

[42:58] See?

[42:59] That sounds good.

[43:00] We're down with things that we shouldn't know about.

[43:01] Okay.

[43:02] So we'll get that for the person, if that person is not of age.

[43:06] I will be contacting them.

[43:08] Congratulations.

[43:10] You're right.

[43:11] Well done.

[43:12] Good job, Judy.

[43:13] We'll work out some scheduling, because I assume that you would like to come and watch

[43:16] the movie with the whole team, including Elliot.

[43:18] Not me, though.

[43:19] I have other commitments.

[43:20] She doesn't care.

[43:21] Sure.

[43:22] So, yeah.

[43:23] Congratulations.

[43:24] And moving on, though.

[43:25] Okay.

[43:26] We should get to our recommendations.

[43:27] We don't like to be jerks all the time.

[43:28] Yeah, we recommend.

[43:29] We like to talk about things that we like.

[43:30] Yeah, I like watching stuff.

[43:31] Okay.

[43:32] Okay.

[43:33] So should I talk about something sane later?

[43:34] Thanks for telling me about this movie.

[43:35] Okay.

[43:37] Yeah.

[43:38] Okay.

[43:41] You said you'd listen to an episode.

[43:44] Okay.

[43:45] The lies come out.

[43:47] Yeah.

[43:48] I'll go first.

[43:49] Yeah.

[43:50] I've been watching a lot of movies lately.

[43:51] You know, I saw, you know, the regular good stuff like Pineapple Express, which was great,

[43:54] and Tropic Thunder.

[43:55] That was pretty good.

[43:56] But the movie that I would like to recommend is a little movie called Police Academy.

[44:02] Seven or eight.

[44:03] One of those.

[44:04] The Mission to Moscow one.

[44:06] Now, this is a controversial recommendation.

[44:08] No, I'm totally recommending this movie because, for one, it's got Ron Perlman in an amazing

[44:14] performance as the comedic evil Russian bad guy.

[44:18] Is he wearing any makeup?

[44:19] No makeup at all.

[44:20] Wow.

[44:21] He just looks like a weird baboon monster.

[44:25] And Christopher Lee has an amazing performance, as does, you know, the Police Academy regular.

[44:32] So, if you're looking for, you know, a movie with a lot of laughs and a lot of heart, Police

[44:37] Academy, whatever.

[44:38] Mission to Moscow.

[44:40] I don't remember which one it was.

[44:42] Totally, totally watch it.

[44:43] It's great.

[44:45] All right.

[44:46] Well, I think I'm the largest gap between types of movies recommended.

[44:49] You're going to recommend, like, Cannibal Holocaust or something?

[44:53] I haven't seen a lot of movies recently, actually.

[44:56] I've been out of town.

[44:58] You're not going to recommend Vantage Point, right?

[45:00] No, I'm not.

[45:02] But I am going to recommend a movie that is not underrated by any means, because I haven't

[45:07] seen a lot of movies lately, so I have to go to this.

[45:10] I just re-watched The Third Man.

[45:13] Actually, Elliot's absent co-host showed it at his movie night.

[45:20] He does classic movies on occasion.

[45:23] He also gives a speech.

[45:25] He does give a speech with notes.

[45:27] Yeah, it's pretty hysterical.

[45:29] But informative and really good.

[45:30] No, no, it's great.

[45:32] I don't make fun of it, but it was about 40 minutes long before the film started.

[45:35] But I love The Third Man.

[45:37] It's got the Zither music at the beginning, right?

[45:40] Yeah, sure.

[45:41] That's great.

[45:43] Zither music, and Joseph Cotton stars in it, and Orson Welles is in it.

[45:47] It's black and white.

[45:49] Yeah, beautiful cinematography.

[45:51] It was voted the best British film.

[45:53] So, if you've never seen it, you know, The Third Man, a classic.

[45:57] Give it a go.

[45:59] Sarah, have you seen anything lately that you would like to recommend?

[46:02] The Dark Knight?

[46:04] I actually have been watching non-stop for the past three weeks Kung Fu movies,

[46:11] because I'm making a video using them.

[46:13] Which I won't give away, because I don't want...

[46:16] Not that anyone could possibly copy me at this point.

[46:19] I'm almost done.

[46:21] And it would just take too much time for someone to copy me,

[46:23] and I would be first, and I would murder you, and whatever.

[46:25] But anyway, two of the ones that I watched...

[46:29] I fast-forwarded through most of them.

[46:31] I'm talking like five or six at a time.

[46:33] I've watched basically every Kung Fu movie.

[46:35] Every Kung Fu movie you've ever made.

[46:37] But one that I thought was really good was The Flying Guillotine.

[46:40] Yeah, that's good.

[46:42] And there was another one I watched last night.

[46:44] The Butcher...

[46:46] The Butcher...

[46:48] Butcher...

[46:50] Wing...

[46:52] Wellington.

[46:56] It's really funny and really good.

[46:58] But The Butcher is in the title.

[47:00] I put in the keywords Butcher and Kung Fu into Google.

[47:04] And it's amazing.

[47:06] And whatever movie comes up, it's the movie that Sarah is recommending.

[47:08] I'll watch that.

[47:10] Yeah, you like things about butchery.

[47:12] Yeah, and Google.

[47:14] See this one? I watched it last night, and I can't remember the title.

[47:17] It just tells you.

[47:19] So, Sarah, I feel like I should ask you, since you are a comedian...

[47:22] Unlike me, who still uses the title comedian, despite very rarely doing anything in public, you perform.

[47:31] Is there anything you would like to plug?

[47:34] Now, keep in mind that this will not be posted to the Internet until Sunday.

[47:40] Well, no, I don't have anything coming up this weekend.

[47:43] And only me will listen to it.

[47:45] Yeah.

[47:47] That's not true. We have a devoted listenership.

[47:49] That's good.

[47:51] This isn't just going to go into a vault somewhere for Dan to listen to.

[47:55] And to masturbate to.

[47:57] Man, I normally make that joke.

[47:59] Thanks, dude.

[48:01] Oh, ladies.

[48:03] No, I have a show.

[48:05] I definitely have a show on October 17th.

[48:08] It's far away, but it's part of the Ars Nova Ants Festival.

[48:12] And it's some lady friends of mine and I are doing a show.

[48:16] And I think, fingers crossed, I'll be doing my solo show.

[48:19] Which Dan McCoy is in.

[48:22] Yes.

[48:24] Which is called Sarah Shaver's One Sarah Show.

[48:26] And hopefully I'll be doing that again this fall.

[48:28] I don't want to say anything about it.

[48:30] I'll tell you later, Dan.

[48:32] Because it's not official yet.

[48:34] If I haven't been cut from the show, if you go to my website, I'm sure I will keep that updated.

[48:41] SarahShaver.com, SarahShaver.com.

[48:43] Oh my God, SarahShaver.com.

[48:45] Or you go to BestWeekEverTV.com.

[48:48] Is that what it is?

[48:50] Come on, man.

[48:52] It's BestWeekEver.TV.

[48:54] It's really easy to remember.

[48:56] So if you like people who blog about pop culture, Sarah's one of them.

[49:00] And poop.

[49:02] And she gets paid for it.

[49:04] That's pretty cool.

[49:06] Can I plug something?

[49:08] Sure.

[49:10] Oh, shit.

[49:12] I was just in a van with a bunch of dudes driving down to D.C.

[49:15] I'd like to plug the experience of being in a van.

[49:18] And I highly recommend it, man.

[49:20] So we were in this van, right?

[49:22] And later on, we destroyed this van through poor driving.

[49:26] But while we were in the van, we got in this long argument about what you would rather fight.

[49:32] Would you rather get in a fight with a wolf or an eagle, Dan?

[49:35] Like you don't have a weapon or anything.

[49:37] I think I would actually rather get in a fight with a wolf.

[49:40] Okay.

[49:42] You look confused.

[49:44] Would you rather get in a fight with an eagle?

[49:46] An eagle, yeah.

[49:48] Why?

[49:49] Because I weigh more than an eagle.

[49:51] Okay, that's true.

[49:53] A wolf probably weighs more than me, and I could not subdue it in any way, shape, or form.

[49:55] Okay.

[49:57] I think it would be more likely that I could escape a wolf either through running.

[50:00] or climbing. Sure. Or if you started flying, for instance. Yeah, I wouldn't have the advantage

[50:04] of the high ground, as an eagle would, figuratively. I mean, an eagle's not on ground flying.

[50:13] I've seen both an eagle and a wolf in the wild. That's pretty impressive. I'm just scared

[50:19] of the fact that, like, eagles would probably go for your eyeballs, right? A wolf would

[50:22] probably go for your... Those talons would be ripping your shoulders off. Yeah, they're

[50:26] arm... They could hit your jugular and that'd be it. Yeah, and, like, you can't hit an eagle.

[50:31] That shit's going way fast. Yeah, but you could, like, just grab it and be like, BAM!

[50:35] Well you have to grab it first. I don't think it's, like, just gonna flap there for a second

[50:40] like a... I feel like I could snap an eagle's neck. Like an owl. I could not snap a wolf's

[50:43] neck. So, Stuart, what are you plugging? Just nerdy conversations? Is that what you're plugging?

[50:47] I forgot this was a plug! Oh, wait. This isn't a plug. I just wanted to find out what everyone

[50:54] was going to say. Alright, well, write in. Write in to theflophousepodcast at gmail.com

[50:59] and tell us what you would rather fight and maybe we'll talk about it some more. Or, as

[51:04] Lou put it, draw a picture. Draw a picture of yourself fighting an eagle or a wolf. And

[51:10] the best one will get a high five from me next time I see the artist. I just want to

[51:14] say, speaking of which, people keep voting for us at Podcast Alley. That's awesome. And

[51:20] that's great. We have been consistently in, like, the top 50 comedy podcasts on Podcast

[51:26] Alley because of that. I have no idea how representative that is, but I appreciate it.

[51:33] And people who... Even better, people who link to us on their, like, personal websites.

[51:38] We get a lot of traffic that way. Well, it's gonna be linked on my website, which means

[51:42] automatic 4 mil. Wow. 4 million humans. 4 million uniques. All the people who read your

[51:49] stuff on Best Week Ever and then go to the trouble of doing a web search for your personal

[51:54] website and then click through to our website. That's .5 people. So look for that. They click

[52:05] through, but then they close the browser before it opens. Sure. What am I clicking on, Buggy?

[52:11] Anyway, man, this has been fun. A lot of laughs. This was a good one. We learned a lot, too.

[52:17] Feel anew. But you gotta sign off. Like you've been birthed. I do. I feel like someone just

[52:25] cut the email record. She's going through a rebirthing ceremony. We got a bunch of pillows

[52:28] together earlier and she came through. Please bury my placenta. I wanna devour it. I'd like

[52:38] to say that for Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy. And I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Sarah Schaefer.

[52:45] Good night, y'all.

[52:55] What did you get on this one?

[52:58] No, I haven't bought it. Except for this. For some reason, one of Sarah's ex-boyfriends gave her a

[53:03] mixing board. Like, like back in high school. And she's like, I don't know why. That's the only

[53:08] reason she's allowed to have an ex-boyfriend. I am. Smells like her. And she just kept it. Like,

[53:14] maybe it'll come in handy one day. Yeah. So what would you do with an ex-boyfriend's mixing board?

[53:19] Would you smash it? Make audio porn. Audio porn. Would you smash it while listening to Liz Fair?

The Flop House: Episode #22 - Vantage Point

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