The Flop House: Episode #22 - Vantage Point

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Vantage Point, starring an all-star cast of people who didn't read the script.

[0:30] What's going on, dude?

[0:35] What's going on is we're doing a podcast called The Flophouse.

[0:40] Welcome to it.

[0:41] Yay!

[0:43] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:44] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:46] And I'm Sarah Schaefer.

[0:47] Yeah, we've got a guest tonight, Sarah Schaefer.

[0:50] Elliot Kalin, normal co-host, is very busy these days.

[0:54] As you probably know, the conventions are coming up.

Stuart Wellington

[0:58] What kind of a convention? Like a Star Trek convention?

[1:01] No.

[1:01] A May convention?

Dan McCoy

[1:02] The Democratic convention, followed closely by the Republican National Convention.

[1:07] So things are busy around the Daily Show offices, from what I understand.

[1:12] So he's going to be out of town for a while.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14] Wait, does he work in the Daily Show?

[1:17] Yeah, I don't think we've pimped that enough.

Dan McCoy

[1:18] Our, like, tangential connection to something popular.

[1:21] But instead, we got famed comedian Sarah Schaefer.

[1:27] Wait, is that the same Sarah Schaefer from Sarah Schaefer's Obsessed With You?

[1:31] A popular stage show.

[1:32] Also, she hosted AOL's The DL.

[1:36] Ooh.

[1:37] And she's a blogger for Best Week Ever.

[1:40] A blogger?

[1:41] Holy shit.

[1:41] Yeah.

[1:42] Where else might we know you from?

S3

[1:44] That's pretty much it.

[1:46] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:46] But, you know, blogging for Best Week Ever, that means you're perfect to talk about a bad movie.

[1:53] Perfect.

[1:54] Which is what we watched tonight.

[1:55] Well, let's not get it.

[1:56] Let's not pass judgment.

[1:58] Yeah, dude.

[1:58] Chill out.

S3

[1:59] Come on.

[1:59] Speak for yourself.

Stuart Wellington

[2:00] He's up on the throttle there, fast driver.

[2:05] He's up, Charlie's Angels, full throttle.

S3

[2:08] Dan McCoy is fast.

[2:09] That's what people...

[2:10] He is.

[2:10] That's what...

[2:11] That's the word on the street.

[2:12] That's what the ladies say.

[2:13] Absolutely.

Dan McCoy

[2:14] Yeah, ladies from six years ago when I wasn't married, perhaps.

S3

[2:19] Keep telling yourself that.

Dan McCoy

[2:20] Yeah, that's kind of strange, dude.

[2:23] But you're married?

[2:25] Let's not get into each of our personal lives.

[2:28] Okay.

[2:29] Let's talk about the movie we watched tonight.

[2:31] What movie was that, Stuart?

Stuart Wellington

[2:33] That was Vantage Point.

[2:34] Yeah.

[2:35] That was Vantage Point, right, Sarah?

[2:36] Yes.

[2:37] Hey, did you see the trailers for this movie?

S3

[2:40] I did, actually.

[2:41] A lot.

Stuart Wellington

[2:42] They were pretty intense.

S3

[2:43] They were.

[2:43] They really made me feel like I was going to go on a rollercoaster ride of intrigue.

Stuart Wellington

[2:48] There's a lot of actors in those trailers, right?

[2:50] And I think there's a lot of actors in this movie.

[2:52] Well, I mean...

[2:53] There are a lot of actors.

[2:54] I was impressed.

[2:55] Your average movie.

[2:56] I mean...

[2:57] Well, yeah.

[2:57] As many actors as there are characters, generally.

[2:59] Yeah.

[2:59] I mean, duh.

[3:01] Like, no doy.

[3:02] No doy.

[3:03] But, like, when I saw the trailer, I was like, wow, there's Forrest Whitaker and his

[3:08] Lazy Eye.

[3:09] There's Sigourney Weaver.

[3:10] There's Dennis Quaid.

[3:11] Yeah.

[3:12] His Lazy Eye got an Oscar nominee.

[3:14] Yeah.

[3:14] For Ghost Dog, I think.

[3:16] But Matthew Fox from TV's Lost and Party of Five, right?

[3:21] That was Party of Five.

[3:22] Party of Five, yeah.

[3:23] You're a girl.

[3:24] You know about Party of Five.

S3

[3:25] Actually, I never watched Party of Five.

[3:28] No?

[3:28] For some reason.

[3:29] When was it?

[3:30] It was on...

[3:30] That was before the sex change, I guess.

[3:31] Yeah.

[3:33] It was...

[3:34] Wasn't it on...

[3:35] I think it was on when I was in college.

[3:37] Yeah.

[3:37] Maybe.

[3:38] And I didn't...

Dan McCoy

[3:38] Too busy studying, no doubt.

S3

[3:40] I was.

[3:41] I was studying anatomy.

[3:43] No, I'm just kidding.

[3:44] Nice.

[3:46] But no, I didn't watch a lot of...

[3:47] I didn't have a TV in college, so I didn't see anything.

[3:51] Actually, when was it on?

[3:53] I don't know.

[3:53] Yeah, I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[3:53] But you belonged to a sorority.

[3:55] Surely it was on someplace.

[3:57] Yeah, I mean...

[3:58] There were surely Matthew Fox and...

Stuart Wellington

[4:01] There were posters of Matthew Fox with his shirt off sitting on a Cadillac.

[4:07] On the front of a Chevrolet.

S3

[4:09] I was like overachiever girl in college, and I was always doing an activity.

[4:14] Just doing mom TV.

[4:15] So there was like a four-year period where I really did not see anything.

[4:18] We didn't like study groups and stuff.

[4:19] You know, drama.

[4:20] Drama, sure.

[4:21] Drama.

[4:22] Yeah, that makes sense.

[4:23] Sketch comedy group.

[4:24] Mm-hmm.

[4:25] We had to write about the cafeteria, you know.

[4:27] Oh, that's...

[4:28] That's good.

[4:28] College sketch comedy group.

[4:29] College satire.

[4:30] Yeah, we wrote about the cafeteria and...

[4:34] Dan did a comic strip like that.

Dan McCoy

[4:36] Shut up.

[4:36] Let's not talk about our college creative endeavors.

[4:40] Let's get back to the film.

[4:41] Yeah, please.

[4:42] Now, this was...

[4:43] I would say this was a Rashomon for the modern era.

[4:47] Would you agree that that's...

[4:49] I think that's probably right.

S3

[4:51] I don't know what you're talking about because I'm not very knowledgeable on film.

Dan McCoy

[4:55] Rashomon was the...

S3

[4:56] I'm not sure why I'm at this podcast.

Dan McCoy

[5:00] Basically, it's all about, you know, the differences in people's viewpoints.

[5:05] It's to tell the same story from three people's viewpoint.

S3

[5:08] The difference between me and Elliot is vast, by the way.

[5:13] Okay.

[5:14] Elliot knows every movie.

[5:15] You're much taller.

[5:16] Yeah, you're taller, for instance.

Dan McCoy

[5:17] I'm extremely...

[5:18] Significantly taller than Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[5:19] It's extremely taller.

[5:21] Extremely taller.

[5:21] Roughly twice as high as I did.

[5:23] I think...

[5:24] I didn't get out a measuring tape, but...

[5:25] You got up to my navel, pretty much.

[5:26] Yeah, I didn't get a measuring tape out, but I feel pretty confident.

S3

[5:29] No, Elliot's knowledge of movies is...

Dan McCoy

[5:32] Encyclopedic, you would say.

[5:35] Right.

S3

[5:36] Mine...

[5:36] Or is Wikipedia.

[5:37] Literally, this is what happened recently with me.

[5:40] This is just an example of my knowledge of movies.

[5:42] And we'll give our listeners a good idea on what they're about to encounter with me.

[5:47] My husband has convinced me that I have seen the movie Hellboy.

[5:52] And I cannot remember anything from it.

[5:56] That's pretty memorable.

[5:57] Anything.

[5:58] There's a big red guy.

[5:59] No, I don't remember it at all.

[6:01] My mom had this same, I guess, disorder.

[6:04] Yeah, moms have that.

[6:05] Where she would go see a movie, and then literally two hours later...

[6:07] Because, I mean, we need to get a move on, because I might forget the entire movie in the next two hours.

Stuart Wellington

[6:13] My mom does that, but I think that's because she's usually a little drunk.

[6:16] When she watches a movie.

S3

[6:18] And that would be no different for me tonight.

Stuart Wellington

[6:20] And you know, about Elliot, he's kind of like...

[6:22] Imagine...

[6:23] We're going to talk about him, because he's not here.

[6:26] The thing about Elliot is, he's kind of like if they made the movie Short Circuit,

[6:30] but instead of robots made for war, they made robots made for learning a lot about movies and talking about them.

[6:36] Sure.

[6:36] Elliot would be the Johnny Five of that group of robots.

[6:40] Right.

[6:40] Because he's kind of short and smart.

[6:42] And he talks kind of like a robot most of the time.

Dan McCoy

[6:45] But he hasn't had like an Ally Sheedy character in his life yet to teach him that there are things other than movies.

[6:51] I think you could fill that role, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[6:53] Yeah?

[6:54] I think I could be Fisher Stevens.

S3

[6:55] He could see what it's like to see a human naked.

[6:58] Yeah.

[6:59] For the first time.

Stuart Wellington

[7:00] I could look like a turtle.

[7:01] Like Fisher Stevens, an Indian turtle.

Dan McCoy

[7:04] I'd be like, no disassemble movies.

[7:06] I'd be a podcaster.

Stuart Wellington

[7:09] No, that's pretty good.

[7:10] Okay, so we should actually talk about the movie.

[7:12] Yeah, we should talk about the movie.

[7:13] Right, right, right.

Dan McCoy

[7:13] Vantage Point.

[7:14] Yeah, it's a movie about different viewpoints.

[7:17] But unlike Rashomon.

[7:18] Like the point of Rashomon is people have different experiences of the same event.

[7:23] You know, like there's no one single truth.

[7:25] There's truth that's filtered through other viewpoints.

[7:28] Whereas in this movie, we just literally just see the same things happen over and over from different vantage points.

[7:36] Hey.

[7:37] And it's like a title.

[7:40] I used to watch Alias, which was a pretty good show.

[7:44] It had its flaws, but I enjoyed it.

Stuart Wellington

[7:46] That's with the chick with the big forehead in it, right?

[7:48] With the dimples.

[7:49] Jennifer Garner.

[7:50] Yeah, she looks like a skeleton.

Dan McCoy

[7:52] But towards the end of...

[7:54] In a scary way.

[7:55] Towards the end of the run of the show.

[7:57] Every other episode would be one of those episodes where it starts with a teaser of something happening.

[8:02] And then it gets up to a shocking point.

[8:05] And then something comes on the screen and says, 24 hours earlier.

[8:09] Right.

[8:10] Which is my least favorite TV storytelling convention now.

[8:14] Because it's just like, God damn, why can't you just tell...

[8:18] And this whole movie was just like, 23 minutes earlier.

[8:23] Over and over again.

[8:25] Yeah.

[8:26] And the first time it happens, you're like, oh, cool.

[8:29] This is a different way of telling a story.

[8:32] How weird.

[8:33] Not linear.

[8:35] As it proceeds, you realize that you are getting about as much new information in each retelling as you get in one of those soap opera comic strips in the newspaper.

[8:48] Where they're like, it's going to progress literally one panel's worth every day.

[8:52] Yeah.

[8:53] Of new information.

Stuart Wellington

[8:53] Like Mary Worth or Apartment 3G or something.

[8:55] Yeah, exactly.

[8:56] Sure.

Dan McCoy

[8:57] Yeah, I know you're a bit of a weird thing.

Stuart Wellington

[8:58] Or like later Funky Winker Bean comic strips.

[9:01] Where you're like, why are they getting so fucking serious, dude?

[9:04] It's Funky Winker Bean.

[9:06] Everyone's dying in Funky Winker Bean.

[9:06] Did that chick commit suicide?

[9:08] What the F?

S3

[9:09] Wait, Funky Winker, she had cancer?

[9:11] And she like...

Stuart Wellington

[9:12] Wasn't there...

[9:13] I don't want to talk about it.

Dan McCoy

[9:14] Yeah, it's really sad.

[9:15] Let's not get into it.

[9:16] I remember when I was a kid, that was a comic strip that was basically made for band directors,

[9:22] high school band directors to put up on their walls.

[9:24] Yeah.

[9:25] Yeah.

[9:25] Like that was the niche.

[9:27] And then later on, I revisited it as an adult and I was like, when did this turn into a tragedy?

[9:32] Yeah.

[9:32] Man, this shit's kind of sad.

S3

[9:34] It is really sad.

Dan McCoy

[9:35] But that Winker Bean is Funky.

[9:37] Damn it.

[9:38] That Funky Bean is really Winker.

Stuart Wellington

[9:42] Nice.

[9:42] I was wondering why the comic was mainly about a guy with glasses and not the titular character.

[9:49] Sure.

[9:49] His name's Les.

[9:50] I didn't pay that price.

[9:51] Oh gosh, we really are.

[9:53] So, the vantage point is...

[9:55] Sure, what's that?

S3

[9:56] No.

[9:57] Is that every single...

[9:59] It was like little vignettes of each person's vantage point.

[10:02] Every single little vignette ended with them seeing something incredible.

[10:07] And then like a flare or something?

[10:09] Yeah.

[10:09] It was like incredibly like telling and like, oh my gosh, I realize the shit's gonna hit

[10:15] the fan.

[10:15] Or I just saw the answer.

Dan McCoy

[10:17] Yeah, the pieces are falling into place.

S3

[10:19] Oh my God.

[10:19] But you don't even see it.

[10:20] So, you don't even get the puzzle piece.

[10:22] So, it's basically like you know there's a puzzle.

[10:24] Yeah.

[10:25] You know all these people have a piece, but you never get to see any of the pieces.

[10:29] Even at the end of the movie.

[10:30] Except for the end of the movie.

Dan McCoy

[10:31] You realize that there wasn't really a puzzle.

[10:33] It was just a really straightforward story that some screenwriter was like, okay, this is not

[10:38] gonna sell.

[10:38] I gotta...

[10:39] Maybe if I like just cut up the screenplay and throw it up in the air and then reassemble

[10:44] it.

S3

[10:45] I actually knew a playwright that did that.

[10:47] He cut his script in half.

[10:49] Yeah.

[10:49] And then like realigned.

[10:51] I'm not kidding.

[10:52] Like and realigned.

[10:53] It was in college.

[10:54] He was a really smart guy.

[10:55] He realigned the pages.

[10:57] And that was the play.

[10:58] Did it work?

[10:59] No, it was horrible.

Dan McCoy

[11:00] And that playwright was Sam Shepard.

[11:04] It was Arthur Miller.

Stuart Wellington

[11:05] I'm really old.

[11:07] Nice.

[11:07] Wait a minute.

[11:08] You're Marilyn.

[11:08] No.

[11:10] The thing is, it really feels like this was just like a C-grade thriller that they're like,

Dan McCoy

[11:16] you know what?

Stuart Wellington

[11:18] This shit is 25 minutes long.

[11:21] And yet.

[11:21] Hmm.

[11:22] Let's extend it by just making a bunch of different characters have vantage points.

[11:25] Yeah.

[11:25] Let's extend it by repeating those 25 minutes over and over again.

[11:29] Instead of thriller, untitled thriller set in Spain, let's change it to a vantage point.

[11:35] Untitled Forrest Whitaker.

[11:38] Exactly.

[11:39] Hot off of his success in Last King of Scotland.

[11:42] No, they had Forrest Whitaker.

[11:42] Where he played a guy with a lazy eye.

[11:45] Who was a dictator.

[11:46] Who was, I think, in love with James McAvoy.

[11:49] Who liked to videotape things.

[11:52] Yeah.

[11:52] He was way into videotaping things.

[11:55] And he really liked that little Spanish girl who loves her ice cream.

Dan McCoy

[11:58] Let's talk briefly about Forrest Whitaker's vantage point.

[12:01] We're going to talk about his arc, right?

[12:02] Because we, the arc is character.

[12:05] That's what it's called.

S3

[12:06] What was the inciting incident for Forrest Whitaker?

Stuart Wellington

[12:10] Yeah.

[12:10] You guys have to provide this.

[12:12] Third act turn.

Dan McCoy

[12:12] Because I have no technical background on that sort of thing.

[12:16] I've just read a lot of useless screenplays.

[12:18] I'm reading story right now, actually.

S3

[12:20] Yeah.

[12:20] And it's beautiful.

[12:22] It's beautiful work.

Dan McCoy

[12:24] Sarah Schaefer and I have both either written or are writing a screenplay.

[12:28] So if you want to purchase one from someone who likes to make a movie.

[12:34] Write us.

[12:35] But Forrest Whitaker, basically what happens is the president gets shot.

[12:39] Or he appears to get shot.

[12:41] Don't spoil it.

[12:42] Spoiler alert.

[12:44] And then the place where he's holding this speech in Spain blows up.

[12:50] There's all these protesters around.

[12:51] Sure.

[12:52] I'm not really clear on what they're protesting.

[12:53] America.

[12:54] America.

[12:55] America.

S3

[12:55] There's so many missing.

Dan McCoy

[12:57] They're protesting for freedom.

[12:58] Missing information in this movie.

[12:59] Forrest Whitaker, you know, clearly his first time abroad.

[13:02] He's very excited.

[13:03] He's videotaping everything.

[13:05] He videotapes something that he thinks is related to the killing.

[13:10] And it turns out to be.

[13:10] But then, like, there's like this big chase scene immediately thereafter.

[13:14] Like, the plaza, the piazza, or the plaza, I guess piazza would be Italy.

[13:18] It blows up.

[13:19] And there's a chase where they're running down the guy they think is involved.

[13:23] And Forrest Whitaker, for whatever reason, decides, like, oh, I've got to go help the police.

[13:28] And videotape the chase.

[13:30] And videotape it the whole time.

Stuart Wellington

[13:31] I think he's thinking YouTube.

[13:33] Or, like, hard copy.

[13:35] Right.

[13:36] Or a current affair.

[13:37] A current affair.

[13:38] A current affair.

[13:39] Yeah.

[13:39] Is that show still on?

[13:40] I don't think so.

[13:41] With the triangle?

Dan McCoy

[13:43] It was awesome.

[13:44] He's going to write a best-selling book, A Lazy Eye to a Kill.

[13:47] Nice.

S3

[13:48] Current affair was literally like the Perez Hilton of our youth.

Stuart Wellington

[13:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[13:54] Just the trashiest.

[13:56] I was a kid, and I felt like I had to take a shower when I was a kid.

Dan McCoy

[13:59] Like, even then, I was like, this shit is kind of weird.

[14:03] Forrest Whitaker made friends with a small Spanish girl before the explosion, basically by knocking her ice cream over.

[14:10] And then offering her to buy more ice cream.

[14:11] Yeah.

[14:12] And then after the explosion, I guess he decided that he was her foster parent.

[14:16] Exactly.

S3

[14:17] This is all based on, they tried to, like, establish his motivation, I guess, as a character by one phone call that he makes.

[14:26] Right.

[14:26] One conversation he has with a guy who ends up being a terrorist.

[14:31] Like, where he's, like, referencing that he's left his wife and kids going through a rough patch.

[14:37] And I just don't believe that this guy chose to come to Spain by himself.

Stuart Wellington

[14:43] He really liked the architecture, right?

[14:45] Isn't that what he was taking film of?

S3

[14:46] He was just trying to experience life.

[14:48] You can see he was just taking it all in by looking in the viewfinder of his video camera.

[14:52] He was going to have some tapas later.

Dan McCoy

[14:53] Well, there are a lot of people in the movie, like Dennis Quaid, Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt.

[15:00] All going for tapas later, right?

Stuart Wellington

[15:02] Matthew Fox, as we've seen before.

[15:05] The thing is, a lot of these stars are on the rise.

[15:08] Some of them, not so much.

S3

[15:09] Yeah.

[15:10] Well, the terrorist guy whose brother was being held hostage, he's in other stuff, but I don't, this is why I'm a bad person to have on the phone.

[15:18] He's in other stuff.

[15:19] I've seen him in it.

[15:20] I have no idea what his name is or what he was in.

Dan McCoy

[15:22] He's certainly a recognizable face.

Stuart Wellington

[15:24] He looks like he should be in one of, like, the Mummy movies.

[15:27] He looks like he should be in one of those guys.

Dan McCoy

[15:29] Well, he's not Oded Fair.

Stuart Wellington

[15:31] Well, he's not Oded Fair because he doesn't have a cool beard.

S3

[15:34] Somebody look it up.

Dan McCoy

[15:35] I would assume that Oded Fair being what it is and him being a swarthy actor, he probably played other terrorists.

[15:43] Maybe.

S3

[15:44] Yeah, he definitely is in action films from, I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[15:48] Like True Lies.

S3

[15:48] Or maybe TV.

Dan McCoy

[15:50] Probably True Lies.

[15:52] That's where I usually go.

Stuart Wellington

[15:54] That was just a great movie.

[15:55] Sure.

[15:56] Non-stop action.

[15:57] And laughs.

[15:58] So many laughs.

[15:59] Wow, this is so zany.

[16:00] My young Eliza Dushku.

[16:02] Tom Arnold.

Dan McCoy

[16:04] You know what I hate about True Lies?

Stuart Wellington

[16:06] What about...

[16:06] I'll bite.

Dan McCoy

[16:08] What a fucking misogynist film.

[16:11] Oh, come on.

[16:12] No, it is.

[16:13] I mean, like...

[16:14] Okay, I suspect my wife of having an affair.

[16:17] So I'm gonna go and I'm gonna humiliate, like, the guy.

[16:20] I'm not gonna, like, ask her about it.

[16:22] I'm gonna humiliate the guy.

[16:23] Then I'm gonna trick my wife into doing a strip tease for me.

[16:27] Okay.

[16:28] Like, that is...

[16:28] I'm still waiting.

[16:30] I don't...

[16:30] It just seems like a really, like, oddly angry movie, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[16:34] And then they get attacked by terrorists.

[16:37] And then, luckily, he's an amazing secret agent and saves the day.

[16:41] Right.

[16:42] Yeah.

[16:43] Tia Carrera was in that.

[16:44] Yeah, she was.

[16:45] She made an announcement.

[16:47] Her star fellow.

[16:47] Like, she made an announcement relatively early on in her career that she was never going

[16:50] to get topless.

[16:51] I stopped paying attention to Tia Carrera very soon, actually.

[16:55] Because, like, come on, what else is she gonna provide, really?

Dan McCoy

[16:58] You know what movie you're reminding me of right now?

[17:01] True Lies.

[17:03] Nice.

[17:04] Oh, I get it.

[17:06] Oh, Vantage Point.

[17:07] While we're talking about Vantage Point.

[17:09] So, also, Dennis Quaid, as I said, was in it.

[17:11] He was, I guess, the hero.

[17:13] Sure.

[17:14] Inso much as there was a hero in the movie.

[17:16] Looking more grizzled and Harrison Ford-like in his...

[17:20] He frowned a lot.

[17:21] He did.

S3

[17:22] I was about to say, he made mug faces a lot.

[17:24] He was...

[17:24] Like, not mug.

[17:26] You can't see me, but I'm making his face right now.

Dan McCoy

[17:29] It was amazing.

[17:30] It was like Dennis Quaid was in the room.

S3

[17:32] And the camera, a couple times, like, zoomed in really fast on his face.

[17:36] And it was, like, comical on the way.

[17:37] It was just like, zoom.

Stuart Wellington

[17:39] Because imagine a guy with a frowny face, but his eyes were really wide.

[17:43] Yeah.

[17:43] So, he almost looked like a surprise bulldog.

Dan McCoy

[17:46] Yes.

[17:47] Exactly.

[17:48] And, well, he had, like, sort of the same character arc, I guess, as, like, Clint Eastwood in The Line of Fire.

[17:55] Okay.

[17:56] Where he was, like, he was shaken by a previous assassination attempt.

[18:00] Although, unlike in The Line of Fire, like, he successfully prevented the previous assassination attempt.

[18:06] So, it was sort of weird.

[18:07] It was like, he had to remove himself from being a successful secret agent.

[18:12] Like, secret service agent.

Stuart Wellington

[18:13] I can't get over that job.

[18:14] Well done.

[18:15] Yeah.

[18:15] I took a bullet for the president of the United States of America.

[18:18] I hate myself.

[18:19] I should have been able to reflect that bullet with my chest.

Dan McCoy

[18:22] So, he's shaky.

[18:23] He's looking for redemption for success.

Stuart Wellington

[18:26] And, you know, he's getting, like, a little bit of support from his fellow secret service agent, Matthew Fox.

[18:33] Yeah.

[18:33] Right?

[18:34] Or is he?

[18:35] Chill out with the spoilers, dude.

[18:37] Okay.

[18:38] I don't care.

[18:38] I think we're going to jump ahead.

[18:39] Yeah.

[18:39] Matthew Fox is totally a bad guy and a secret service man.

[18:42] Which makes the movie very strange.

[18:43] Because I would think that if a person, like, made all the effort to be a secret service agent, like, he'd have plenty more opportunities to kill a president than the one presented in the film.

Dan McCoy

[18:53] I was saying, I'll give credit where it's due.

[18:56] Matt Bird, a guy that Stu and I are both friendly with.

[19:00] I'm not.

[19:01] I hate that guy.

[19:02] I don't know if she's ever actually met him.

[19:04] But, um, he pointed out, yeah, like, they've got a man on the inside.

[19:08] A man who was a secret service agent.

[19:10] So, if their plan is ultimately to kidnap the president, which it is because another shocking twist, the guy who got shot was the president's double.

S3

[19:20] Which they gave away in the preview, by the way.

[19:22] I knew coming in that was going to happen.

Stuart Wellington

[19:23] He looked creepily like William Hurt.

[19:25] Like, was he a clone?

S3

[19:27] Well, I'm wondering if they used William Hurt up until the point that you knew it was a double.

[19:32] And then they put the double in.

[19:34] Because once they mentioned.

[19:36] Wait a minute.

Stuart Wellington

[19:36] Wait, are you asking if, like, the person, like, the actor?

S3

[19:40] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:40] Well, it was probably William Hurt the whole time.

S3

[19:42] I don't know, though.

[19:43] Because after they mentioned the double, he did look slightly different.

[19:46] Now, that might have been my mind.

Stuart Wellington

[19:49] It might have been Hollywood movie magic.

S3

[19:51] I mean, really.

[19:52] They could have just, like, done a little, like, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[19:54] Put a little bigger nose.

[19:55] Right.

Dan McCoy

[19:56] I think it was a real missed opportunity that they didn't have, like, a parent trap split dream moment.

[20:02] For their shaking hands.

[20:03] Nice.

[20:04] Like, Dave.

[20:06] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[20:06] Like, one guy's, like, getting coffee at the presidential, like, coffee bar.

[20:10] Hey, you look like me.

[20:12] He's, like, looking good.

S3

[20:13] And then they start doing, like, a mirror dance.

[20:15] Like, ooh.

Stuart Wellington

[20:16] Maybe one guy, like, you know, like, he wipes a little bit off.

[20:18] Paul comes in.

[20:19] Yeah, that sounds great.

[20:20] Harpo marks.

[20:21] Or, I think they missed the opportunity of not having, like, a guy who looks obviously not like William Hurt to be the double.

[20:28] Yeah.

[20:28] Like, that would have been great.

[20:30] Like, a guy possibly with hair and a beard.

[20:33] Yeah.

[20:34] You got Philip Seymour Hoffman in.

Dan McCoy

[20:36] That would have been great, dude.

[20:37] Yeah.

[20:38] I guess they look kind of alike.

[20:40] Or maybe Forrest Whitaker.

[20:41] Or maybe Forrest Whitaker.

[20:42] Right.

Stuart Wellington

[20:43] If they had gotten Forrest Whitaker to play two roles, both the guy filming it and the president's double,

[20:48] I think they would have been great.

Dan McCoy

[20:49] Yeah.

[20:49] I think he could have pulled it off, dude.

[20:50] He got an Academy Award, after all.

[20:52] Right.

Stuart Wellington

[20:53] But they've done Whiteface.

Dan McCoy

[20:54] Yeah.

[20:55] That works.

[20:56] I saw Tropic Thunder.

[20:57] Ultimately, their plan is to kidnap the president, not to shoot him.

[21:02] Okay.

[21:03] But the whole point is, either way, they have a man on the inside.

[21:06] They have a man who works directly with the president as a Secret Service agent.

[21:10] He could easily have done this for them.

S3

[21:13] And gotten alone with the president.

[21:14] And, like, then they could have, you know, shuffled him off.

Stuart Wellington

[21:16] It could have only been two vantage points.

S3

[21:18] Right.

Stuart Wellington

[21:21] And that's, I'm not going to watch that.

S3

[21:23] I want to see as many vantage points as possible.

Stuart Wellington

[21:26] That's almost like a regular movie where there's just one vantage point.

[21:28] Like a carotoscope.

[21:29] Right.

S3

[21:29] It's called the protagonist.

Dan McCoy

[21:32] Yeah.

[21:32] I need multiple vantage points.

[21:34] I'm a discerning consumer.

[21:35] Sure.

[21:36] I'm paying extra.

Stuart Wellington

[21:38] Uh, Cloverfield?

[21:39] No, thank you.

Dan McCoy

[21:41] That just has one vantage point of a camcorder.

Stuart Wellington

[21:46] But...

[21:46] Thanks for clarifying that, dude.

[21:48] The camcorder is the protagonist.

[21:50] Dilly.

[21:51] So, the thing is, is that this movie had a lot of vantage points, but ultimately didn't require them.

[21:56] Like, it wasn't like they used the extra vantage points to be like,

[21:59] Oh, it's like...

[22:00] How did this affect each person's life?

[22:01] It's like Syriana.

[22:03] And like, I can kind of see, I can identify with the terrorists.

[22:06] Like, that didn't happen.

[22:07] Yeah.

S3

[22:07] You didn't even understand why the terrorists were doing what they were doing.

[22:11] It was literally...

[22:12] Well, there were one guy.

[22:12] Two terrorists.

[22:13] There were terrorists, Sarah.

Stuart Wellington

[22:15] Oh, right.

[22:15] Right.

S3

[22:16] Why try to justify it?

[22:17] They hate our freedoms.

Stuart Wellington

[22:18] Well, there's one guy who was a terrorist because the other terrorist had his brother.

[22:22] Yeah.

S3

[22:23] Yeah, but ultimately it was two terrorists that were doing this.

Stuart Wellington

[22:27] If you were a terrorist and the other terrorists had your brother and were threatening to kill him,

[22:31] would you be able to kill a bunch of people?

[22:33] My brother?

[22:34] Yeah, sure.

[22:38] So, you let terrorists kill your brother if it meant...

Dan McCoy

[22:40] I don't know if I let him.

[22:43] I think it would be more that I don't know that I would be up for, like, physically...

[22:47] Well, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[22:47] I don't think I'd be capable of, like, taking on a bunch of Secret Service guys.

[22:50] I don't have, like, a phone that detonates C4 or uses a robot machine gun.

[22:55] Like, I don't have that.

S3

[22:57] Yeah, they had, like, a Palm Pilot to carry...

[23:01] That was my major problem.

[23:02] The terrorists literally, like, at one minute in the movie, they had no respect for human

[23:07] life.

[23:08] And then the next, they were like, well, we don't want to kill one of our own, so we

[23:12] got to set up this robot machine gun.

Dan McCoy

[23:14] Yeah, I guess...

[23:14] No loose ends.

[23:15] Robots with loose ends.

[23:17] I guess that was the thing with Matthew Fox.

[23:19] They're like, you're too valuable to us as a person, so rather than have you, like, just

[23:24] sacrifice your position as a Secret Service agent, we're going to go through this elaborate

[23:27] scheme that involves smuggling in, like, a motorized machine gun that can be operated

[23:34] by a Palm Pilot, as you say, through, I guess, I don't know, satellites?

[23:38] Yeah, the internet.

[23:40] Sure.

[23:41] Yeah, 3G.

[23:41] I don't know that much...

[23:42] Yeah, I don't know that much about it.

[23:44] Technology can do anything to you.

S3

[23:45] It's an app.

[23:46] It's an iPhone app.

[23:47] It's an iPhone app.

[23:48] Nice.

[23:49] Oh, yeah, there's...

[23:50] I assassinated the president.

[23:53] Can we talk about the very end?

[23:54] Yeah, let's do it.

[23:55] Sure, why not?

[23:56] Well...

Dan McCoy

[23:56] Is this when all the vantage points merge into one point?

S3

[23:58] Well, that's what bothered me the absolute most, is these terrorists basically threw their

[24:04] entire mission for a small child that was standing in the highway.

Dan McCoy

[24:08] Well, not any small child.

[24:11] The small child who, of course, would have taken such a shine to earlier in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[24:16] The best part about it, too, is that they avoid hitting the girl by, like, flipping their

[24:20] car onto its side, which, if it wasn't for Forrest Whitaker, would still smash the girl.

[24:24] Like...

Dan McCoy

[24:25] At the point that you've kidnapped the president of the U.S., you're not going to bulk it running

[24:30] down.

[24:31] Smash the car.

[24:31] Right.

S3

[24:32] You've blown up tons of people.

[24:33] The little girl was in the plaza when they set off bombs.

Stuart Wellington

[24:36] She very possibly could have been the victim of that explosion.

S3

[24:39] Right.

[24:39] But then when they see her in the road...

Stuart Wellington

[24:43] She was a ghost.

[24:44] See?

[24:44] I know...

S3

[24:45] She was an angel sent by God to save the president of the United States of America.

Stuart Wellington

[24:49] I said what everybody was already thinking.

[24:51] I put words to it.

[24:53] She was the ring.

[24:54] The little girl from the ring.

[24:56] But cleaned up a little.

[24:56] Oh, my God.

[24:57] Cleaned up a little and not...

[24:58] Samurai.

[24:59] Magical monsters.

[25:01] So engaged in politics.

[25:03] She did look a little Asian.

[25:05] She liked ice cream.

[25:07] You know what they say about Asians and ice cream.

[25:09] Was it Dippin' Dots?

[25:10] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[25:11] She gave him the future.

[25:13] The thing is...

Stuart Wellington

[25:14] Yeah, I totally agree with you.

[25:16] That's totally weird.

[25:17] And I don't understand how...

[25:20] It's like if there was a deer in the road.

[25:23] You're not going to drive out of the way and smash yourself.

[25:25] You're going to drive through the deer.

[25:26] Right.

[25:26] You still might hurt the deer if you flip your car and smash the deer.

[25:29] The deer with the hood.

[25:29] Like the roof of your car.

Dan McCoy

[25:31] So you're saying that when you're driving...

[25:33] If I'm driving...

Stuart Wellington

[25:34] You can spit her small children on the same level as the deer.

[25:36] Exactly.

[25:36] And you've got the president in the backseat.

[25:38] If I had the president knocked out in the backseat or...

[25:41] Wait.

[25:42] Was he even knocked out at that point?

S3

[25:43] He was fighting, I think, at this point.

Stuart Wellington

[25:44] The best part was when he did wake up and he's like,

[25:47] I got this cool pipe.

[25:48] I'm going to smash the terrace.

[25:50] He like bonks one on the head and it doesn't even knock her out.

S3

[25:52] She's like...

[25:53] What are you doing?

[25:56] That's smarts.

Dan McCoy

[25:57] Yeah.

[25:58] They're driving down in the ambulance.

[26:01] They've been keeping the president sedated.

[26:04] Again, I'm not really sure what they're planning to do with the president.

[26:06] They're just taking him somewhere.

Stuart Wellington

[26:08] I was hoping that they would have accidentally killed him

[26:11] and then had to pull a weekend at Bernie's type thing with him.

[26:14] Yeah.

S3

[26:14] Give us a million dollars!

[26:17] You better give it to him.

Stuart Wellington

[26:19] That was me pretending like I was a marionette president.

[26:21] Look, it's the president holding up a newspaper and they have strings attached to his arms.

[26:25] And he's holding his face.

[26:26] Today's date.

S3

[26:27] He's still alive.

[26:30] I get the feeling you guys talk about Weekend at Bernie's every time.

[26:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[26:34] We actually haven't that much.

[26:36] It's strange, right?

[26:37] You would think we would.

[26:37] Tango Cash has come up, pretty much.

[26:40] But not Weekend at Bernie's.

Stuart Wellington

[26:41] Yeah, they're both really good movies.

[26:44] Fine films.

[26:45] Yeah, I think it's assumed that we would talk about Weekend at Bernie's.

[26:48] But why did they even kill the double in the first place?

[26:50] Why didn't they just kidnap the president?

[26:52] Yeah, that was the other thing.

Dan McCoy

[26:53] To create a distraction.

[26:55] To create a distraction, but yeah.

S3

[26:57] Isn't the distraction the double doing the speech?

[27:00] Like, that's where all the attention in the world is.

[27:02] Once you shoot the double, then everybody's on alert.

[27:07] Everyone's freaking out.

[27:08] I mean, but obviously they weren't.

Stuart Wellington

[27:09] If they actually had the president, how would, like, if they were going to ransom him, why

[27:13] would anyone pay the ransom?

[27:15] Because, like, the president's, everybody thinks the president's already dead.

[27:18] Yeah.

[27:19] Like, wouldn't they just be like, man, let's just cut our losses.

[27:23] Yeah, it would be too complicated of a story for, like, the U.S. public to understand.

[27:28] Exactly.

[27:28] The red states is what you're saying?

Dan McCoy

[27:30] U.S. public, sure.

[27:31] Where I'm from?

[27:32] Sure.

[27:33] There was a part earlier in the movie where they're like, we can't reveal that that was

[27:38] a double that got shot.

[27:39] Like, one of the president's advisors.

[27:41] I know.

[27:41] Yeah.

[27:42] Because that tells them that that wasn't really the president making the speech.

[27:45] And I'm like, but wouldn't the world be so excited to learn that the president actually

[27:49] gets shot that they'll forgive him using the double?

[27:51] Oh, that was really clever that you put that double.

[27:53] Yeah.

[27:53] Good job.

Stuart Wellington

[27:54] I think America would think it was pretty cool, too.

[27:56] Like, oh my god, they use doubles?

[27:59] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[27:59] Do we have an exact duplicate of the president?

[28:01] That's like super spy stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[28:04] Yeah, I think we need to call the writer of Vantage Point right now.

[28:08] Yeah.

[28:09] He's probably busy making lots of money writing other great movies.

[28:14] Yeah.

[28:16] So you met Sigourney Weaver once.

[28:18] I did meet Sigourney Weaver.

[28:19] She was handsome.

[28:20] She was a handsome woman?

[28:21] She was handsome.

S3

[28:22] Oh, yeah.

[28:23] That was another thing.

[28:23] Sigourney Weaver was not in the movie enough.

Dan McCoy

[28:26] Yeah, she was like the-

[28:27] Barely, barely in the movie.

[28:28] She was the producer, the field producer for GNN, I guess the global news network.

[28:36] You just piece that together or-

[28:38] I assume, unless it was the glue news network.

[28:42] Okay, that's probably not that.

S3

[28:44] I wish it was VNN and then it could have been called Vantage News Network.

Stuart Wellington

[28:49] That probably would have been more appropriate for the movie.

S3

[28:51] Seriously.

[28:52] But wait, how did you meet Sigourney Weaver?

Stuart Wellington

[28:54] She came into my store one time.

[28:56] I sell little plastic and metal men to people.

[29:00] To human beings.

S3

[29:02] Dan, I thought you said this guy was legit.

[29:04] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:06] And in order to enjoy those little plastic and metal men, you have to paint them.

[29:11] So she bought some paint for me for, I think, to touch up like a lamp or something.

[29:16] I was a little starstruck.

[29:19] Significantly more starstruck than when Robin Williams came in because I was more just shocked.

[29:25] Yeah.

[29:25] Because he's significantly smaller and hairier than I would have imagined.

[29:28] I thought he was one of those guys from Land of the Lost, right?

[29:32] Yeah.

[29:33] Not the reptile men, but the little hairy guys.

S3

[29:37] What was the movie where the guy painted the little soldiers?

Stuart Wellington

[29:41] 40-year-old virgin?

[29:42] Yes.

[29:43] Wait.

S3

[29:44] Were they soldiers or dolls?

Stuart Wellington

[29:46] We had the dolls.

[29:47] A little bit of both.

[29:48] There's both.

[29:49] He's painting.

S3

[29:50] Yeah.

[29:50] There's like the real...

Stuart Wellington

[29:51] Are you asking if my company's models were in some of those shots?

[29:54] Are you a virgin is what I'm asking you.

[29:57] I am a virgin.

[29:59] Yeah.

[29:59] Yep.

[30:00] Thanks for the laugh.

[30:01] Oh.

[30:02] Oh, wow.

[30:03] Seriously, I'm going to go hang myself with my belt.

S3

[30:05] Hey, you started it.

[30:06] You just had to brag about meeting Sigourney.

[30:08] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[30:09] I propositioned her.

[30:11] If it matters, I offered her and she said no.

[30:13] He was hoping that Sigourney would usher him into manhood.

Dan McCoy

[30:16] Yep.

[30:17] I asked her to pop my cherry.

S3

[30:17] She could have totally played the role in 40-year-old virgin of What's-Her-Face, where she was

[30:21] like, I would be very discreet.

[30:23] The one that offers herself.

[30:25] Sigourney Weaver could have pulled that off.

Stuart Wellington

[30:26] You know what?

[30:27] I totally agree.

[30:28] I bet...

[30:28] I think she's underutilized as a comedic actress, and I think that she would make a really good

[30:33] mom.

[30:34] Yeah.

[30:34] Absolutely.

Dan McCoy

[30:35] And I think that...

[30:37] I feel bad that she was in Vantage Point.

Stuart Wellington

[30:39] Well, I'm totally disappointed.

[30:40] Everybody else...

[30:41] I mean, William Hurt, like...

[30:43] Maybe he just wanted to be in a movie where he was the best.

[30:45] Where it was like, hey, I just want to show off.

[30:48] Look, I'm better than all these other clowns.

S3

[30:50] But, uh...

[30:51] Yeah, but Sigourney Weaver really skated by without really doing anything really annoying

[30:56] in that movie.

[30:57] She didn't...

[30:58] She was just there.

[30:59] She kind of played the role straight, and they didn't do her Vantage Point, really.

[31:03] Well, maybe the beginning, I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[31:05] Yeah, maybe there was like a cutscene.

Dan McCoy

[31:07] We didn't check the footage, Dan.

[31:09] Yeah.

[31:10] As is true with many Flophouse films, this was a trim 83 minutes.

[31:17] 83 minutes.

[31:18] And padded at that.

[31:19] You know, what I forgot to mention before was, in addition to all the normal flashbacks,

[31:24] the like 23 minutes before flashbacks, there was, and this is another Flophouse trend,

[31:29] there were personal flashbacks that the characters would have to things that they said.

[31:35] Things that they themselves said.

[31:36] Not things that other people said.

[31:37] Like five minutes before.

[31:38] Five minutes earlier or less.

[31:40] Not even, yeah.

[31:41] It was like two minutes.

[31:42] This has got to be at least the third time this has happened in one of these movies, where

[31:45] the movie's like, remember?

[31:47] Remember what you just watched in the previous scene?

S3

[31:50] It's like they don't have enough, it's like they ran out of money and couldn't film anymore

[31:54] and they have to fill time with that.

[31:56] I don't really understand.

Stuart Wellington

[31:58] I think they were trying to make, like, put an exclamation point on what he said.

[32:02] Like, hey, remember when that guy said that thing?

[32:04] First of all, I want you to remember that that's a really cool line.

[32:07] Like, I really want you to understand that what he said was really ominous and cool sounding.

Dan McCoy

[32:11] Now let's make you remember that it's important to the plot.

Stuart Wellington

[32:15] The president exploded.

[32:18] And he just thought about that.

[32:20] We have to talk about Dennis Quaid's flashback.

[32:24] Yeah, and that's a problem I had.

[32:26] Thank you for bringing that up.

[32:27] Because there's a moment, like, during Dennis Quaid's vantage point where, okay, we've just

[32:33] discussed that Dennis Quaid was a Secret Service agent who took a bullet for the president.

[32:38] So he was successful in his job.

[32:39] But at the beginning of his vantage point, he's, like, sitting on a bed in his hotel room

[32:44] with his shirt off, like, staring off into space.

[32:46] And he picks up, like, a thing of pills that you have no idea what they are.

[32:51] And, you know, he takes a couple.

[32:53] And while he's taking them, he has, like, there's a black and white shot of him being

[32:56] shot by this guy.

[32:58] And it's clearly from, like, the news footage.

[33:00] We'd already seen the news footage of him being shot.

[33:03] So I'm trying to figure out if he was, like, if he was having this flashback because he's, like,

[33:07] man, I looked really dorky when I was getting shot.

[33:10] Like, I don't really get it.

Dan McCoy

[33:12] He's flashing back to that evening when he was watching himself on GNN.

[33:16] From the hospital.

[33:17] He's, like, I can't believe I look so silly.

S3

[33:20] And then, like, they, of course, which was all to, like, set this up.

[33:24] You know, prior to that, we'd already seen this footage because Sigourney Weaver was like,

[33:28] Barnes is here!

[33:30] Like, they know all the Secret Service agents.

Stuart Wellington

[33:32] The greatest Secret Service agent of all time.

S3

[33:35] Barnes is here!

[33:35] Pull up archive footage!

[33:36] And then there's another guy.

[33:37] Pull up archive footage!

[33:38] And it's like a chain reaction.

[33:39] And then when Dennis Quaid comes back in, Dennis Quaid bursts into GNN's, like, trailer at one point.

[33:46] Yeah.

[33:46] Like, to their control center.

[33:48] And sees how they had pulled up this footage and sees it on one of the screens and, like, stops.

[33:54] And he's like, I was shot one time.

Stuart Wellington

[33:58] Yep, he sees a picture of himself being shot.

[34:00] In the middle of all this chaos.

S3

[34:02] He's like, that was sad.

Stuart Wellington

[34:04] Yeah.

[34:05] It's like, that was a time when I was successful in being shot for the president.

Dan McCoy

[34:08] But I think, ultimately, the point of this film is that all of Dennis Quaid's efforts were for naught

[34:14] because the scheme was taken down by the fact that those terrorists swerved with the president

[34:22] in the back of their ambulance to avoid that kid.

[34:25] Yeah, that really was the reason.

[34:28] And the end.

[34:29] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[34:30] The end.

[34:30] Well, I like to think that maybe that girl would have done her Spanish patriotic duty by getting hit by the van

[34:37] and then, like, gumming up the tires a little bit with her carcass.

Dan McCoy

[34:41] So you're saying that whether or not she's were the van her report.

S3

[34:44] She was definitely too old to be running into the street without.

Stuart Wellington

[34:47] Yeah, and then, like, seeing the ambulance coming and just, like, freezing like a deer.

[34:52] Like, oh, no.

[34:54] Mom.

[34:55] Mama.

[34:56] Is Mommy in there?

[34:57] Mama.

Dan McCoy

[34:58] Are you my mommy?

Stuart Wellington

[35:00] No, that's not your mom.

[35:02] That's an ambulance.

[35:03] With Forrest Whitaker chasing after her.

[35:04] It was just weird.

[35:05] And then, like, in that moment, of course, it was one of my favorite things to happen in a movie

[35:09] where, like, you know, at that climax of the movie, everything comes together.

[35:13] You have, like, lots of slow motion and, like, zooming in like, oh, no.

[35:18] There's the girl.

[35:20] The van speeding up.

[35:21] Oh, no.

[35:21] Zoom in on the guy driving the van.

[35:23] What's he going to do?

[35:24] Zoom in on Forrest Whitaker running, shouting.

[35:27] Yeah.

[35:28] It was terrible.

[35:28] It was great.

[35:29] So let's...

[35:30] It was shocking.

Dan McCoy

[35:32] Let's close this out.

[35:33] Let's close this segment out with the traditional final judgment on Vantage Point.

[35:38] I'll repeat it for the benefit of Sarah and our listeners.

[35:42] The three official Flophouse categories are, is this a good-bad movie, i.e. something funny

[35:48] to watch with friends?

[35:50] A bad, bad movie?

[35:51] A movie that really isn't worth your time at all?

[35:54] Or a movie that you kind of liked, you found some sort of redeeming value in.

[35:58] Sarah, what do you say about this movie?

[36:00] Bad, bad.

[36:01] Bad, bad?

[36:02] Bad, bad.

S3

[36:03] Yeah.

[36:03] It's not...

[36:04] They didn't go far enough with the bad to make it a good bad.

Dan McCoy

[36:07] How about you, Dan?

[36:08] Well, the thing was, like, the first 15 minutes of this movie, I was like, this could be okay.

[36:13] Like, before it rewinds, basically, I'm like, this has all the elements of, you know, it's

[36:20] got a good cast.

[36:21] Sure.

[36:22] It's moving along, like, it's competently directed.

[36:24] And then with every succeeding, like, rewind in time, it got worse and worse.

[36:29] So, basically, first 10 minutes, okay movie.

[36:34] Next, 60 minutes, bad, bad movie.

[36:38] And then last 10 minutes, good, bad movie.

[36:41] Yeah.

[36:41] But, um...

[36:42] I like that assessment.

[36:44] It doesn't work out, you know, the math doesn't work out to it being worth watching.

[36:49] Yeah, I'm gonna agree with you.

[36:50] It's bad, bad.

[36:51] Like, it's...

Stuart Wellington

[36:52] It's just, like, there's...

[36:53] It's so fast, and, like, you kind of feel like you wasted an hour and 23 minutes watching

[36:59] this movie.

[36:59] Kind of.

[37:00] And, like...

[37:01] I definitely just wasted...

[37:01] I frankly...

[37:02] I'd frankly rather...

[37:03] Sarah's angry, I guess.

[37:05] I'd rather be sitting on, like, a subway train reading, I don't know, like, the advertisements.

[37:11] Yeah.

[37:11] B, Kanye.

[37:13] Yeah.

[37:13] For an hour and 23 minutes.

[37:15] Uh-huh.

Dan McCoy

[37:15] There's a lot of Jameson's ads.

[37:17] Yeah.

[37:18] Yeah.

[37:18] Like, Subway Car.

Stuart Wellington

[37:19] Dr. Z's more facial treatments.

[37:21] Okay.

[37:22] What's his story?

Dan McCoy

[37:24] He sure likes rainbows.

[37:26] Yeah.

[37:27] That...

[37:27] What's his story?

[37:28] I think I'm gonna go to vocational school.

[37:30] These are jokes specifically for New Yorkers.

[37:33] It's like you're watching the most inside episode of Seinfeld.

S3

[37:37] Well, this is being broadcast live on Gawker right now, so...

[37:41] Wow.

[37:42] Gawker.

Stuart Wellington

[37:44] So, we just rated this movie as a steaming turd.

[37:48] So don't watch it.

[37:49] And Matthew Fox, you should be ashamed of yourself, dude.

[37:53] Go back to Lost.

[37:55] Okay.

[37:56] Yeah.

[37:57] And William Hurt, I don't blame you that much.

[38:00] And Forrest Whitaker, it's probably not your fault.

[38:02] You probably agree to this movie before last year.

[38:04] You're just basing this.

[38:04] You were way too busy.

[38:05] I'm like...

[38:06] You were way too busy.

[38:06] I don't know how much you like the various actors.

[38:09] Scorning Weaver, it's okay.

[38:10] If you want to come over and we can talk about that.

S3

[38:13] He looked at his watch.

[38:15] Just then, like, oh, let me check.

[38:16] I do have time.

[38:17] I have time.

[38:17] I do.

Dan McCoy

[38:17] I got to have time.

[38:19] Let's talk about it.

[38:20] So, Bernie Weaver, if you're listening to this podcast and you remember that handsome,

[38:23] deep-voiced fellow you bought some paint from.

S3

[38:25] Oh, whoever the girl is at the very beginning,

[38:27] in the movie, playing the correspondent, can go to hell.

[38:30] Yeah.

[38:30] She was horrible.

[38:31] What's her deal?

[38:31] I hope not.

[38:32] She kind of looks like Will Smith's wife, but it's not her.

Stuart Wellington

[38:34] Yeah.

[38:35] Agreed.

[38:35] Yeah.

[38:36] Jada Pinkett Smith.

[38:37] Yeah.

[38:38] I was going to say Pinkett.

[38:39] So, um...

[38:40] Probably Pinkett.

[38:41] Before we get on to...

[38:42] What's the next stage?

Dan McCoy

[38:43] Well, before we get on to our recommendations, I'm going to take care of a little business.

[38:47] We have been running a flop house.

[38:49] Am I fired?

[38:51] Do I?

[38:52] You haven't missed a show.

[38:53] Do you need my social?

Stuart Wellington

[38:55] For the pay?

Dan McCoy

[38:56] If anyone's job is in trouble, it's Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[38:58] Yes.

[38:58] Can you give us your social?

[38:59] Here's my W2.

[39:00] Yep.

[39:00] What's your credit card number?

Dan McCoy

[39:04] All flop house listeners should send in their social security numbers, their addresses,

[39:10] and their mother's maiden names.

[39:12] This is a really elaborate phishing scam.

[39:14] Okay.

[39:16] This whole last year has just been set up.

[39:18] No, we've been running a contest.

[39:21] Okay.

[39:21] A flop house contest.

[39:23] What the hell you say?

[39:24] To win the fabulous prize to pay all the expenses yourself to come and watch a movie with us and be on the podcast.

[39:35] Ooh.

[39:36] That sounds pretty good.

[39:38] And we have a winner.

S3

[39:39] Well, I mean, look at where we are.

[39:41] I mean, this is pretty...

Dan McCoy

[39:42] My palatial...

[39:43] This is dope.

[39:44] Apartment.

[39:45] Yeah.

[39:45] I think that's a good summary.

[39:47] Dope.

[39:47] I mean...

[39:48] Yeah, no.

[39:48] Go ahead.

[39:49] Describe it.

S3

[39:49] Describe the...

[39:50] It goes on forever, first of all.

[39:52] I mean, this is probably one of the biggest apartments I've ever seen.

[39:55] Sure.

[39:56] I'm surprised you don't have a big echo problem in here.

[39:58] Yep.

[39:59] Well, I've got special...

[40:00] What are these?

[40:01] 30-foot ceilings?

[40:02] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[40:02] And all the chandeliers, too.

S3

[40:04] And, God, the skyline of...

Stuart Wellington

[40:06] And you have to ride a pony to go to the bathroom.

[40:09] You have to ride a pony down the hill to the bathroom.

[40:13] Because there's a hill in the apartment.

[40:15] I don't ride quite a...

[40:15] Well, the golf cart.

[40:17] I don't know why you wouldn't.

S3

[40:18] I prefer the golf cart.

Stuart Wellington

[40:19] I'd ride the pony.

[40:20] I mean, I like feeling an animal between my legs.

[40:23] Dan just has his butler come and catch it in his hands.

S3

[40:27] So...

[40:27] All right.

[40:27] That's...

[40:28] Let's get a little less scatological.

[40:30] Every conversation goes back to poo.

[40:32] That's my theory in life.

[40:34] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[40:35] No, the winner.

[40:36] Let's not keep her in suspense.

[40:38] Because it is a her.

[40:38] Oh, wow.

[40:39] Oh.

[40:40] It is...

[40:41] The winner's being announced right now?

[40:42] Yeah.

[40:42] Oh, my God.

[40:43] I didn't realize this.

Stuart Wellington

[40:43] Should we announce why this person won?

Dan McCoy

[40:46] No.

[40:46] Let me...

[40:47] What was the criteria?

[40:48] Okay.

[40:48] You're in charge.

Stuart Wellington

[40:49] You're in the driver's seat.

[40:49] I'm just riding.

Dan McCoy

[40:51] The criteria was purposely vague.

[40:54] And she really took advantage of that.

[40:56] Her name is Judy.

[40:58] I will withhold the last name until such time as she gives permission to give it.

[41:04] Sure.

[41:05] That's fair.

[41:06] But...

S3

[41:06] You're going to have like about 4,000 Judys calling you up tonight.

[41:09] No.

[41:09] She knows.

Dan McCoy

[41:10] Because...

[41:11] She knows who she is.

[41:13] What she did was she did temporary tattoos, or at least I hope they're temporary, of all

[41:20] of our faces with our names and sent photos of these tattoos, including the face and name

[41:29] of original Flophouse host Simon Fisher.

[41:32] Sure.

[41:33] Wow.

[41:33] With a big X through it to indicate that he's no longer on the show.

[41:36] Oh, she's accurate.

[41:37] Yeah.

[41:38] She's up to date.

[41:38] Which I think is pretty awesome.

[41:40] And with her permission, I will email her and see if it's okay.

[41:44] I will post those on the Flophouse website.

[41:48] Theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com.

[41:50] That's her website.

[41:50] So everyone can enjoy them if it's okay with her.

[41:56] I'm very considerate of a woman's needs, Sarah.

[41:59] Don't laugh at me.

[41:59] Oh, I'm sorry.

[42:01] No, don't.

[42:01] I just worry about my own needs usually.

[42:03] Sure.

[42:04] So she has won the contest, provided, as Stuart pointed out, that she is of age.

[42:10] That she is 18 years old.

[42:12] Not minor.

[42:13] You better be 18.

[42:15] If she is a minor, we will find out some other alternate prize.

Stuart Wellington

[42:20] Yeah.

[42:21] Like a year's supply of bubble gum or something.

[42:24] Yeah.

[42:24] Whatever kids like.

[42:26] Whatever kids like.

[42:26] Yeah.

[42:27] Like.

[42:27] Whatever.

[42:28] Stickers or a couple Jonas Brothers t-shirts.

[42:30] Yeah.

[42:30] Like Scratch and Sniff stickers, maybe.

[42:33] Something like.

[42:34] That's contemporary, right?

[42:36] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[42:36] You're good.

[42:37] That's good.

[42:38] That camp movie.

[42:40] Sure.

[42:40] That is.

[42:41] Camp?

[42:42] Yeah.

[42:42] That camp movie.

[42:42] The movie Camp?

Stuart Wellington

[42:44] No.

[42:44] Not that.

Dan McCoy

[42:45] Not the movie Camp.

[42:46] That camp.

[42:46] That's a great movie.

[42:47] Sleepaway Camp?

[42:48] No.

[42:49] Yes.

[42:49] Sleepaway Camp.

[42:50] All the modern kids love sleepaway.

[42:52] Camp Rock.

[42:53] Isn't that what it's called?

S3

[42:54] Camp Rock, yeah.

[42:55] And then it's like a high school musical spinoff.

[42:58] See?

Dan McCoy

[42:58] That sounds good.

[42:58] We're down with things that we shouldn't know about.

Stuart Wellington

[43:01] Okay.

[43:01] So we'll get that for the person if that person is not of age.

[43:06] I will be contacting them.

Dan McCoy

[43:08] Congratulations, by the way.

[43:10] Congrats.

[43:10] Well done.

[43:11] Good job, Judy.

[43:11] We'll work out some scheduling because I assume that you would like to come and watch

[43:16] the movie with the whole team, including Elliot.

S3

[43:19] Not me, though.

[43:20] I have other commitments.

[43:22] She doesn't care.

[43:23] Sure.

Dan McCoy

[43:25] So, yeah.

[43:26] Congratulations.

[43:27] And moving on, though.

[43:29] Okay.

[43:30] We should get to our recommendations.

[43:32] We don't like to be jerks all the time.

[43:34] Yeah, we recommend.

[43:34] We like to talk about things that we like.

[43:35] Yeah, I like watching stuff.

[43:36] Okay.

[43:37] Okay, so should I talk about some of the scenes lately?

[43:39] Thanks for telling me about this part.

[43:40] You said you'd listen to an episode.

Stuart Wellington

[43:44] Okay.

[43:44] The lies come out.

[43:46] Yeah, I'll go first.

[43:47] I'll go first.

[43:48] Yeah, I've been watching a lot of movies lately.

[43:50] You know, I saw, you know, the regular good stuff like Pineapple Express, which was great,

[43:54] and Tropic Thunder, that was pretty good.

[43:56] But the movie that I would like to recommend is a little movie called Police Academy 7 or 8,

[44:03] one of those.

[44:04] The Mission to Moscow one.

Dan McCoy

[44:06] Now, this is a controversial recommendation.

Stuart Wellington

[44:08] No, I'm totally recommending this movie because, for one, it's got Ron Perlman in an amazing performance

[44:14] as the comedic evil Russian bad guy.

[44:17] Is he wearing any makeup?

[44:18] No makeup at all.

[44:19] Wow.

[44:20] He just looks like a weird baboon monster.

[44:24] And Christopher Lee has an amazing performance, as does the Police Academy regulars.

[44:31] So, if you're looking for, you know, a movie with a lot of laughs and a lot of heart,

[44:37] Police Academy, whatever, Mission to Moscow, I don't remember which one it was,

[44:41] totally, totally watch it.

[44:43] It's great.

Dan McCoy

[44:43] All right.

[44:44] Well, I think in the largest gap between types of movies recommended.

Stuart Wellington

[44:49] You're going to recommend, like, Cannibal Holocaust or something.

[44:52] I'm going to recommend.

Dan McCoy

[44:53] I haven't seen a lot of movies recently, actually, been out of town.

Stuart Wellington

[44:57] You're not going to recommend Vantage Point, right?

Dan McCoy

[44:59] No, I'm not.

[45:00] Okay.

[45:01] But I'm going to recommend a movie that is not underrated by any means because I haven't

[45:07] seen a lot of movies lately, so I have to go to this.

[45:09] I just rewatched The Third Man.

[45:12] Actually, Elliot, absent co-host, showed it at his movie night.

[45:19] He does classic movies on occasion.

S3

[45:22] He also gives a speech.

Dan McCoy

[45:24] He does give a speech with notes.

S3

[45:25] Yeah, it's pretty hysterical.

[45:28] But informative and really good.

Dan McCoy

[45:30] No, no, it's great.

[45:30] I don't make fun of it, but it was about 40 minutes long before the film started.

[45:35] But I love The Third Man.

[45:36] It's got the Zither music at the beginning, right?

[45:39] Yeah, sure.

[45:40] That's great.

[45:40] Zither music.

[45:41] And Joseph Cotton stars in it.

[45:44] And Orson Welles is in it.

[45:47] And Carol Reed directed it.

[45:49] Yeah, beautiful cinematography.

[45:50] It was voted the best British film.

[45:53] So if you've never seen it, you know, The Third Man, a classic.

[45:56] Give it a go.

[45:57] Give it a go.

[45:58] Sarah, have you seen anything lately that you would like to recommend?

S3

[46:01] The Dark Knight?

[46:02] No.

[46:03] I actually have been watching nonstop for the past three weeks kung fu movies because

[46:10] I'm making a video using them, which I won't give away because I don't want...

[46:15] Not that anyone could possibly copy me at this point.

[46:18] I'm almost done.

[46:19] Sure.

[46:20] And it would just take too much time for someone to copy me and I would be first and then I

[46:24] would murder you and whatever.

[46:25] You'd still be better.

[46:25] But anyway, two of the ones that I watched, I fast forward through most of them.

[46:30] I'm talking like five or six at a time.

[46:32] Like I've watched basically every movie.

[46:34] Every kung fu movie and movie ever made.

[46:37] But one that I thought was really good was The Flying Guillotine.

[46:40] Yeah, that's good.

[46:41] Sure.

[46:41] And there was another one I watched last night.

[46:44] The Butcher.

[46:46] The Butcher.

[46:49] Butcher.

[46:50] Wing?

[46:51] Wing?

[46:51] Well, LinkedIn.

[46:52] Butcher.

[46:54] It's really funny and really good.

[46:57] But The Butcher is in the title.

Dan McCoy

[46:59] So put in the keywords butcher and kung fu into Google.

[47:03] And it's amazing.

[47:04] And whatever movie comes up is the movie that Sarah is recommending.

[47:08] Yeah.

[47:08] I'll watch that.

[47:09] Yeah.

[47:10] You like things about butchery?

[47:11] Yeah.

[47:12] And Google.

S3

[47:13] See this one?

[47:14] I watched it last night and I can't remember the title.

[47:16] That just tells you.

Dan McCoy

[47:18] So, Sarah, I feel like I should ask you, since you are a comedian who, unlike me, who still

[47:25] uses the title comedian despite very rarely doing anything in public, you perform.

[47:31] Mm-hmm.

[47:32] Is there anything you would like to plug?

S3

[47:34] No.

Dan McCoy

[47:35] Now, keep in mind that this will not be posted to the internet until Sunday.

S3

[47:41] Well, no.

[47:42] I don't have anything coming up this weekend.

Stuart Wellington

[47:43] And only me will listen to it.

Dan McCoy

[47:46] Yeah.

[47:47] That's not true.

[47:47] We have a devoted listenership.

[47:49] That's good.

Stuart Wellington

[47:50] So, this isn't just going to go into a vault somewhere for Dan to listen to.

[47:54] And to masturbate.

[47:56] Man, I normally make that joke.

[47:59] Thanks, dude.

S3

[48:00] Oh, ladies.

[48:02] No, I have a show.

[48:04] I definitely have a show on October 17th.

[48:07] It's far away, but it's part of the Ars Nova Ants Festival.

[48:11] And it's some lady friends of mine and I are doing a show.

[48:16] And I think, fingers crossed, I'll be doing my solo show, which Dan McCoy is in.

[48:21] What?

[48:23] Yes.

[48:23] Which is called Sarah Shaver's One Sarah Show.

[48:26] And hopefully I'll be doing that again this fall.

[48:28] I don't want to say anything about it.

[48:30] I'll tell you later, Dan.

[48:31] Well, if you...

[48:32] Because it's not official yet.

[48:34] I don't want to jinx it.

Dan McCoy

[48:35] If I haven't been cut from the show, if you go to my website, I'm sure I will keep that

[48:40] updated.

[48:41] And that's...

S3

[48:41] SarahShaver.com.

[48:43] I'm just kidding.

Dan McCoy

[48:43] Clop out.

[48:44] Oh, my God.

[48:46] Or you go to BestWeekEverTV.com.

[48:48] Is that where you're going?

[48:49] Is that...

S3

[48:49] Come on, man.

[48:50] It's BestWeekEver.TV.

[48:52] Okay?

[48:53] It's really easy to remember.

Dan McCoy

[48:55] So, if you like people who blog about pop culture, Sarah's one of them.

[48:59] Yeah, you'll probably like her.

[49:00] And she gets paid for it.

[49:02] Yeah, man.

[49:02] That's pretty cool.

Stuart Wellington

[49:04] Yeah.

[49:04] Before...

[49:05] Can I plug something?

[49:07] Sure.

[49:07] No.

[49:07] Yeah.

[49:08] Oh, shit.

[49:09] Yeah.

[49:09] Click ding.

[49:10] I was just in a van with a bunch of dudes driving down to DC, right?

Dan McCoy

[49:15] I'd like to plug the experience of being in a van.

[49:18] Yeah, yeah.

[49:18] And I highly recommend it, man.

Stuart Wellington

[49:20] So, we were in this van, right?

[49:22] And we...

[49:23] Later on, we destroyed this van through poor driving.

[49:26] But while we were in the van, we got in this long argument about what you would rather fight.

[49:32] Would you rather get in a fight with a wolf or an eagle, Dan?

[49:36] Like, you don't have a weapon or anything.

Dan McCoy

[49:37] I think I would actually rather get in a fight with a wolf.

Stuart Wellington

[49:40] Okay.

[49:41] What about you?

[49:41] You look confused.

[49:43] Would you rather get in a fight with an eagle?

[49:45] An eagle, yeah.

S3

[49:46] Why?

[49:47] Why an eagle?

[49:47] Because I weigh more than an eagle.

[49:48] Okay, that's true.

[49:50] A wolf probably weighs more than me and I could not subdue it in any way, shape, or form.

[49:54] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[49:55] I think it would be more likely that I could escape a wolf either through running or climbing.

[50:01] Sure.

[50:02] Or if you started flying, for instance.

[50:03] Yeah, it wouldn't have the advantage of the high ground as an eagle would figuratively.

[50:09] I mean, an eagle's not on ground.

[50:11] Right.

[50:11] Yeah.

[50:12] Flying.

[50:13] Yeah.

S3

[50:14] I've seen both an eagle and a wolf in the wild.

Stuart Wellington

[50:17] That's pretty impressive.

[50:18] I'm just scared of the fact that, like, eagles would probably go for your eyeballs, right?

[50:22] A wolf would probably go for your arm.

S3

[50:23] Those talons would be ripping your shoulders off.

[50:25] Yeah, they're like knives.

Stuart Wellington

[50:26] They could hit your jugular and that'd be it.

[50:29] Yeah, and, like, you can't hit an eagle.

[50:31] That shit's going way fast.

S3

[50:32] Yeah, but you could, like, just grab it and be like, bam!

[50:35] Well, you have to grab it first.

Stuart Wellington

[50:37] I don't think it's, like, just going to flap there for a second like an owl.

S3

[50:40] I feel like I could snap an eagle's neck.

[50:42] I could not snap a wolf's neck.

Dan McCoy

[50:44] So, Stuart, what are you plugging?

[50:45] Just nerdy conversations?

[50:47] Is that what you're plugging?

[50:48] No.

S3

[50:48] I forgot this was a plug.

[50:50] Oh, wait.

Dan McCoy

[50:52] This isn't a plug.

[50:53] I just wanted to find out what everyone was going to say.

[50:55] All right.

[50:55] Well, write in.

[50:56] Write in to theflophousepodcast at gmail.com and tell us what you would rather fight.

[51:02] Maybe we'll talk about it some more.

Stuart Wellington

[51:03] Or, as Lou put it, draw a picture.

Dan McCoy

[51:06] Draw a picture of yourself fighting an eagle or a wolf.

Stuart Wellington

[51:10] And the best one will get a high five from me next time I see the artist.

Dan McCoy

[51:14] I just want to say, speaking of which, people keep voting for us at Podcast Alley.

[51:20] That's awesome.

[51:20] And that's great.

[51:21] We have been consistently in the top 50 comedy podcasts on Podcast Alley because of that.

[51:27] I have no idea how representative that is.

[51:30] Stuart is turning into a pro.

[51:31] I appreciate it.

[51:33] And people who...

[51:34] What up, kid?

[51:35] Even better, people who link to us on their personal websites, we get a lot of traffic that

[51:40] way.

[51:40] Well, it's going to be linked on my website, which means automatic four mil.

S3

[51:44] Wow.

[51:45] Four million humans.

[51:46] All the people...

[51:47] Four million uniques.

Dan McCoy

[51:48] All the people who read your stuff on Best Week Ever and then go to the trouble of doing

[51:53] a web search for your personal website.

[51:55] Right.

[51:55] And then click through to our website.

[51:58] A four million people.

S3

[52:00] That's .5 people.

[52:03] So look for that.

[52:05] They click through, but then they close the browser before it opens.

[52:07] For sure.

Dan McCoy

[52:08] Like, what do I click on, Buggy?

[52:10] Yeah.

[52:11] Anyway, man, this has been fun.

[52:14] A lot of laughs.

Stuart Wellington

[52:14] This was a good one.

[52:16] We learned a lot, too.

Dan McCoy

[52:17] I feel anew.

[52:19] But you've got to sign off.

[52:21] Like you've been birthed.

[52:22] I do.

[52:23] You squirted out of somebody.

[52:24] I feel like someone just cut the milk cord.

[52:25] She's gone through a rebirthing ceremony.

[52:27] We got a bunch of pillows together earlier.

[52:29] She came through.

S3

[52:32] Please bury my placenta.

[52:35] I want to devour it.

Dan McCoy

[52:37] I'd like to say that for the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[52:42] And I'm Stuart Wellington.

S3

[52:43] I'm Sarah Schaefer.

[52:45] Good night, y'all.

[52:46] Bye.

S3

[52:54] What did you get all this?

Dan McCoy

[52:58] No, I wanted it.

[52:59] Except for this.

[53:00] For some reason, one of Sarah's ex-boyfriends gave her a mixing board.

[53:05] Like, back in high school.

[53:07] And she's like, I don't know why.

[53:07] That's the only reason she's allowed to have an ex-boyfriend.

[53:10] I have.

[53:11] Smells like broken.

[53:12] And she just kept it.

[53:14] Like, maybe it'll come in handy one day.

[53:16] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[53:17] So what would you do with an ex-boyfriend's mixing board?

[53:20] Would you smash it?

[53:21] Porn.

[53:21] I'd make audio porn.

[53:22] Audio porn.

[53:24] Would you smash it?

[53:25] Mm.

[53:26] While listening to Liz Fair.

The Flop House: Episode #22 - Vantage Point

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