The Flop House: Episode #24 - Prom Night

[0:00] Tonight on The Flophouse, we talk about Prom Night, the stabbingest night in a young girl's life.

[0:30] Hey everybody, welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:39] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:40] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:42] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:43] Yay, we're all back together at the same time.

[0:46] The original peaches, except not.

[0:48] Because I was not original.

[0:50] I'd cross oceans of time for you guys.

[0:52] Oh, wow. Thanks, buddy.

[0:54] That's very nice.

[0:55] I got that from a movie, though.

[0:57] What movie?

[0:59] I think Last of the Mohicans.

[1:00] Well, Stuart, where have you been?

[1:03] I don't know, around, away on work, vacationing in California.

[1:10] I hear that that's a bright and sunny place.

[1:15] You've been Californicationing.

[1:16] Yeah, hey, that's a show and a song.

[1:19] No, I went to In-N-Out Burger a couple times.

[1:22] That was good.

[1:23] Then I saw Michael Cera on the street, who looks like a turtle.

[1:26] Like a baby turtle.

[1:27] Yeah, not like a different type of turtle.

[1:30] Explain for Dan and the audience at home why Michael Cera looks like a different kind of turtle than Fisher Stevens.

[1:35] It's hard to explain.

[1:36] There's something a little more sinister about the Fisher Stevens turtle.

[1:39] He'd be the evil turtle uncle in the Turtle King Disney cartoon, whereas Michael Cera would be our hero who's just a baby turtle.

[1:49] All right.

[1:50] Turtlo or something like that.

[1:51] Yeah.

[1:51] Shelly or something.

[1:52] Shelly, I think that's a good one.

[1:53] Hey.

[1:53] Sheldon.

[1:54] Hey, dudes.

[1:55] Okay, what's up?

[1:56] I got news.

[1:57] okay cool lay it on us it's october shocktober okay shocktober here at the flop house that means

[2:04] we're watching only horror movies for the whole two episodes of the flop oh no what are we starting

[2:11] so october is much like the first 12 episodes of the flop house shut up maybe we like certain

[2:21] types of movies better uh okay but i'm to blame if anybody yeah no there's no i like horror movies

[2:27] even even even good ones well what do we watch tonight though was it good uh well i don't want

[2:35] to spoil it for anybody but it was called prom night dan and it was dan no it was the movie

[2:41] was called prom night uh and i was addressing dan now prom night is uh a remake of another movie

[2:47] called prom night i think um although i don't i think jamie lee curtis was in it is that the one

[2:52] with the like the zombie guy on the motorcycle with flames and shit or is that you didn't have

[2:56] ghost rider no okay nice uh i am thinking of ghost rider actually from right was a 1980 uh

[3:04] film it was made in canada and it looks it and uh it has leslie nielsen playing jamie lee curtis's

[3:12] dad back before he only made uh comedy spoof before the career defining hits spy hard and

[3:19] 2001 a space travesty right and mafia right and uh he wasn't in that though no it was a jay moore

[3:25] Curtis' Scream Queen films, along with Halloween, Halloween II, Terror Train.

[3:30] Trading Places.

[3:32] True Lies.

[3:35] Carpool.

[3:35] I've seen movies with her in it.

[3:37] Freaky Friday.

[3:37] Terrifying Freaky Friday.

[3:39] Blue Steel.

[3:40] But the movies are nothing alike.

[3:43] I mean, the thing about, briefly, Prom Night is a movie about some...

[3:47] Wait, which one?

[3:48] The original one.

[3:49] I'm already confused.

[3:50] A kid dies at the beginning of the movie.

[3:52] That's weird.

[3:53] And then when they're teenagers, all the kids sort of responsible for that kid dying get picked off one by one.

[4:01] So it's like Friday the 13th.

[4:03] Yeah.

[4:04] But at a prom instead of a summer camp.

[4:06] And the Friday the 13th isn't like the kids who did it are going to kill.

[4:09] No, it's true.

[4:10] It's just kids who are acting out the same ethos and lack of care.

[4:14] It's kind of like Final Destination.

[4:17] Yeah.

[4:18] But instead of a death trying to kill people for avoiding some crazy death thing, it's, I don't know, revenge.

[4:27] But the weird thing about the original Prom Night is it's one of these movies where, okay, at the beginning, the accidental death of this child is witnessed by her brother.

[4:35] And you're like, oh, okay, the brother's probably the killer.

[4:39] But surely there'll be a twist in this movie.

[4:42] We'll think it's the brother, but it'll be someone else.

[4:45] Maybe it'll be Leslie Nielsen, in fact.

[4:48] But at the end of the film, the killer gets unmasked and holy shit, it's the brother.

[4:53] As if that was going to be a surprise to us.

[4:55] Yeah, it was pretty crappy if I recall.

[4:57] Yeah, and also there was a 15-minute segment towards the end where everyone disco dances.

[5:03] That was called Pad Night.

[5:05] Yeah.

[5:06] But that has nothing to do with the updated prom.

[5:10] I think we can all agree the best horror movie that involves a prom that can be made has been made.

[5:16] And that was Carrie, in my opinion

[5:18] It's such a strong movie

[5:21] In terms of a teen story

[5:23] And then also a strong movie

[5:25] In terms of people getting

[5:26] All bloody at the end

[5:28] And John Travolta kills a pig in it

[5:30] You're not going to top that, I don't think

[5:32] It's challenging

[5:34] There's also Chud 2, Bud the Chud

[5:36] Which ends with a zombie prom

[5:37] They're prombies

[5:40] It's pretty good

[5:42] And of course Teen Wolf has

[5:43] I don't know if it's a prom or just a dance

[5:45] Teen Wolf is definitely a horror movie.

[5:47] About a ravening teenage wolf.

[5:51] It's a story about a werewolf who plays basketball.

[5:57] I don't know what the problem is.

[5:58] It's terrifying.

[5:59] I would like to see a movie that wasn't even a werewolf.

[6:01] It was just like, oh, this wolf is 13.

[6:03] Imagine being on the basketball court with that teen wolf.

[6:07] Well, I mean, that's kind of ginger snaps a little bit.

[6:09] Yeah, I guess that's true.

[6:11] But, like, genuinely imagine, if you had to play basketball against a werewolf,

[6:14] You'd be fucking frightened.

[6:15] Well, we've talked about this before, I think, Hal.

[6:18] It's amazing that the other teams continued to play against the werewolf team

[6:23] and that the story never got out to the press.

[6:25] Because werewolf is one story, but basketball playing werewolf is a bigger story.

[6:30] Yeah, it's pretty open.

[6:31] I would imagine that that season just looked like a series of forfeits.

[6:35] Forfeit, forfeit, forfeit.

[6:38] Yeah, another winning season.

[6:40] Anyway, but the real prom night, not the real prom night.

[6:44] The werewolf is graduating.

[6:45] Our basketball team is going to go downhill fast.

[6:48] Quick, glue these carpet samples on.

[6:51] We'll tell them we have a new werewolf on the team.

[6:54] Yeah.

[6:55] Teen Wolf 3, not a wolf.

[6:57] But anyway, the prom night we watched tonight was the 2007 prom night, I guess.

[7:05] Was it released?

[7:05] Or was it released early this year?

[7:06] It might even be 2008.

[7:08] It might even be like a February graveyard release where they just dump everything.

[7:12] I think it was just before the end of the year because they were probably trying to get it into consideration for the Oscars.

[7:17] That makes sense.

[7:18] I would have assumed that they would release it around like June or May when proms are happening.

[7:22] Or around Halloween.

[7:24] When scary things happen.

[7:26] When death stalks the silver screen.

[7:30] And for one glorious night, people go crazy and start worshiping monsters and death.

[7:35] Yeah, but I think that they released it in March when shitty things happen.

[7:38] I think that was the theme that they were capitalizing on.

[7:41] if it's march shitty things it's either prom night comes out or julius caesar gets assassinated

[7:46] it is a crappy month oh my god this movie did not skimp on the prom though that's one thing

[7:52] it's skimped on it skimped on the plot the character development the gore and the excitement

[7:57] but there was a ton of prom yeah this movie is uh slightly less than 90 minutes yeah probably 88

[8:04] minutes um it's slightly slightly less than a satisfying experience and 10 minutes into the

[8:10] movie they arrive at prom yep you would figure and yeah and the prom itself is insane it looks

[8:16] like the set of mtv's the grind i guess but most movies most horror movies were like it's based

[8:22] around an event there's a build to the event like the event yeah yeah you meet the characters 40

[8:27] minutes in well going back to carrie the prom happens like an hour and a half into the film

[8:31] like it's the it's the climax of the movie basically what happens is at the beginning

[8:34] there's one of those horror movie beginnings when like one or two killings get get out of the way

[8:39] right up front we gotta we gotta fill a quota you know like maybe people think that they're in the

[8:44] wrong film if someone doesn't get killed immediately and they're gonna walk out of the theater

[8:47] so like this girl's family gets killed including including including a little kid which was pretty

[8:53] awesome uh although altogether very bloodless yeah yeah they get they're stabbed to death but

[9:00] it's kind of like they're stabbed to death with like a knife that sprays out an invisible ink

[9:04] that covers up blood like dd7 or something yeah that's the thing like maybe it's just like a like

[9:09] a poison ice pick they're like there's a really small entry wound and they die and that's it

[9:13] because like this entire movie labors under the belief that the human body actually doesn't have

[9:18] very much blood and to cause a lethal wound to somebody it doesn't actually involve very much

[9:22] blood the human body holds like a cup of blood yeah basically in general the people that are

[9:27] killed in this movie are killed from like internal wounds that you can't really tell you're like why

[9:31] that guy died that's not very much well they're all i imagine they're all hemophiliacs and the

[9:34] blood is all yeah they're all bleeding internally and also the killer is like a fucking samurai

[9:38] because every time he kills somebody there's not a single drop of blood on but he can move

[9:42] he can move without making a noise he can travel through mirrors and shadows uh and he's good at

[9:48] everything it helps that we'll get to this i guess but every other character in the movie isn't

[9:52] competent killer than that i know when in this case through mirrors and shadows he's just kind

[9:57] of an emotionless guy who appears behind people and then kills them yeah but all right so he's a

[10:01] teacher he's obsessed with this girl he kills her family kills her family because he loves her and

[10:06] he wants to take her away she's put away then we flash forward into the future three years

[10:11] and not like the far future yeah she hasn't changed she doesn't go to a space bronze

[10:15] and much like in the breath movie she looks exactly the same yeah three years in the future

[10:22] and um she's she's gone from about probably the age of 14 to 17 let's say and she looks exactly

[10:27] the same not a time when people change yeah and 10 minutes into the movie we are um in a limo going

[10:33] to prom and that's all the setup you need she probably likes the same rock bands as she used to

[10:39] and the killer the killer is this teacher who's obsessed with her and that's one thing that this

[10:44] does share with the original prom night is that there is no mystery as to who's killing you're

[10:51] like oh this guy's killing she'll probably think that um he's back later on but it's going to turn

[10:57] out to be someone else like that's just gonna be a red herring no it's the same guy although i mean

[11:01] they play it straight they don't try to make it a mystery he's yeah i know but it's the most boring

[11:06] okay this is a teacher who's obsessed with her and thus that means he kills people just

[11:12] just because that information is thrown out to us in a conversation between two policemen who

[11:17] we have not seen before and can't do their jobs properly and then more exposition is

[11:22] piled on top of it you're saying it's not exciting or dramatically interesting and

[11:26] Wait, wait, wait.

[11:26] Maybe I didn't follow the movie very correctly.

[11:28] The killer didn't have a beard, but the teacher had a beard.

[11:33] Here's another problem.

[11:34] So the teacher was captured, put in a mental hospital, and then I guess they shaved his beard and his head because of the lice problems there.

[11:41] Let's make it clear that the killer initially looked like Charles Manson.

[11:45] This is a high school teacher.

[11:47] Or Jim Cavizio in Passion of the Christ.

[11:49] Yeah, like everybody's high school teacher.

[11:50] But he looks like a crazy bum killer.

[11:53] Yeah, like everybody's high school gym teacher or science teacher.

[11:56] He looks like he crawled out from under the boardwalk and then got to class, taught you, and then went to a crack house.

[12:03] And then hung out with Brian Wilson and killed a bunch of people.

[12:06] But he gets into a men's hospital.

[12:10] They shave off his crazy hair and beard, and he escapes looking like a shorn person.

[12:15] But the cops, the picture they're working off of is still his mugshot from three years ago with the hair and the beard.

[12:21] and every time they show it to people like no haven't seen this guy haven't seen that guy

[12:27] wearing the ski mask and the and the the cowboy hat yeah i was saying that i wanted like there's

[12:33] a point in which one of the teens like sees and it's like there's something about that guy that

[12:37] rings a bell and i wanted a scene where she somehow gets like colombo yeah i just want more

[12:45] things uh but like i wanted a scene where she somehow got a hold of a photo of the guy and

[12:50] then she like drew like a beard on him and a mustache like holy shit is like or like some

[12:56] like novelty like mustache and beard sticker like got put on that yeah the picture actually falls

[13:02] into a uh into a woolly willy magnet and metal shavings toy and she arranges the beer around it

[13:08] or she's standing across a crowded room from the guy the guy turns toward her and somebody else

[13:13] hands like a phony beard and mustache

[13:15] to a friend across her line of vision.

[13:17] She's behind a plate glass window.

[13:22] For a moment.

[13:22] Some joker's like, look what happens when I draw.

[13:24] It looks like that guy's a mustache and a beard.

[13:26] Wait a minute.

[13:28] He enters a Manson look-alike contest and puts on a fake beard.

[13:31] Has there ever been a joke

[13:34] in a TV show where there's a

[13:35] police sketch artist using a woolly willy

[13:37] to put together sketches of criminals?

[13:39] I think so.

[13:40] It sounds like it.

[13:42] That's a funny joke.

[13:42] It sounds like a family guy joke.

[13:43] Yeah, you're right.

[13:44] Now I hate it.

[13:45] Burn.

[13:46] But she goes to prom.

[13:48] Killer gets there and takes his sweet time murdering about eight or nine people.

[13:51] Yeah, I bet that she has some really, like, unique and interesting friends, Elliot.

[13:54] I bet that there's, like, a spectrum of crazy characters.

[13:56] Well, let me tell you about these exciting friends that we meet right away.

[13:59] There's her black friend and her white friend, and each of them has a boyfriend.

[14:03] And she has a boyfriend, too.

[14:04] Huh.

[14:05] So, do they have any hobbies or interests?

[14:08] Well, the one couple wants to have sex, and the other couple, the boyfriend's mad because the girlfriend is going to school far away from him.

[14:16] Yeah, that seems to be one of their interests, Dan.

[14:18] They're interested in talking about what's going to happen in the future.

[14:21] And the main couple talks about how great their relationship is and how much they love each other.

[14:25] Yeah, so that's two hobbies, loving each other and being interested in the future.

[14:30] All right, to be fair, I guess that they do have some characteristics.

[14:33] One of the guys drinks a lot.

[14:34] Yeah, one's black, the other two are white.

[14:35] Yeah, the one guy drinks a lot.

[14:38] And then the black guy wants to propose to his girlfriend.

[14:42] Yeah, we found that out.

[14:42] Although that's a throwaway moment.

[14:43] Even though they're in high school.

[14:45] And there's no foreshadowing for that.

[14:47] They seem like they kind of got thrown together in a couple

[14:51] because they're the only two black students in the class.

[14:52] Well, and that's why I want some merrier,

[14:54] because he doesn't realize there's other black females.

[14:57] Outside of the town of Bridgeport in which this takes place.

[15:00] Yeah, Bridgeport, the town of one amazing hotel and nothing else.

[15:04] One astounding hotel that's like 100,000 stories tall, and every room is a suite with expensive furnishings, and the prom has giant searchlights outside and a huge ballroom with a giant screen, and they're on a glowing platform floor.

[15:20] Well, they sold a lot of band candy.

[15:22] And yet there's like five cops in the town, and they're all fucking sucky at their job.

[15:27] Well, that's all the funding in the town goes directly to the hotel.

[15:31] and the thing is this hotel gets a lot of subsidies for the town government there's see there's an

[15:36] interesting story in there that the mayor owns the hotel he's been embezzling all this money

[15:40] from the town to the hotel to the hotel is going bankrupt they can't even finish construction on

[15:45] it remember she runs into that part that's not finished yet with doves yeah it's filled with

[15:50] doves it's and then like the story with like there were a lot of side characters that could

[15:55] have been more interesting there was a lesbian gym teacher who was the only chaperone at the prom

[15:59] there's this imaginary mayor we haven't gotten into there's two policemen who are named hicks

[16:04] and striker that only briefly appear but i wish the movie was about them yeah like why striker

[16:10] decided to go into the like bridgeport police force instead of the special forces maybe he

[16:15] was in the special forces or the french foreign legion and for some reason either had to leave

[16:19] or he chose to leave absolutely he saw one too many alien killings and like he just had to get

[16:24] out of that line of work and hicks is either like a goofball or a real dedicated cop who

[16:29] respects the other guy's covert training but at the same time he's envious of it so he so he

[16:35] disrespects him tries to one-up him yeah this is a movie you could make elliot like the rosencrantz

[16:39] and guildenstern are dead of prom night oh that sounds good hey great but there's a whole story

[16:47] about these two minor characters what about them it's like uh family matters to perfect strangers

[16:51] that sort of thing now the whole thing about the prom is like in the featurette the making

[16:56] of featurette we just watched it explains how like the prom in this movie is like everybody

[17:00] else's prom like times 10 it's a fantasy problem just just like how the teacher's beard was like

[17:07] your high school teacher's beard bigger absolutely like to the next level that's how i viewed the

[17:13] teacher's beard and hair okay that makes sense every well it's it's interesting because it's

[17:17] they made it sound like it was supposed to be a very over the top like purposely exaggerated movie

[17:21] but you never get that feeling watching the movie.

[17:23] It just feels unrealistic.

[17:25] It doesn't feel Fellini-esque.

[17:28] It's like Moulin Rouge or something.

[17:30] It's the ages of the students.

[17:32] The ages of the students that you're from plus 10.

[17:35] Well, for instance, the main character's boyfriend

[17:39] played by Jason Street of Friday Night Lights.

[17:42] Absolutely.

[17:43] I don't know what that actor's name is, but we'll call him Jason Street.

[17:46] Did he go to that high school?

[17:47] I think you said he was the son of a landscaper.

[17:50] no that was my explanation for why a guy that old was dating a high school he's a thing he's clearly

[17:56] like 28 30 32 47 60 yeah 65 he's he's listening to his agent he believes he can still play what

[18:07] 17 18 you know i've been told i can play anywhere from 17 to 32 no that's a pretty good range he

[18:14] sells it better on friday night lights i don't know whether it's the wheelchair yeah it's because

[18:17] he's paralyzed paralyzed people have old faces younger they've been through a lot yeah absolutely

[18:23] but uh so yeah a bunch of really sort of interchangeable characters sure go to the prom

[18:29] and i think it's really interesting the way that they each get killed off because the way this

[18:34] movie has been constructed there's no reason for the killer to kill anyone except for the girl he's

[18:38] obsessed with but why is he even trying to kill her i think well he wants her to come with him

[18:43] and he's going to kill her if he can't get her, I think.

[18:45] It's a very complicated pathology.

[18:48] Oh, that makes sense.

[18:48] You shouldn't hurt at all.

[18:49] That's why I've been doing that.

[18:51] That's why I've been hurting my girlfriend so much.

[18:54] That's why there are those corpses.

[18:56] But the way the movie is structured is the killer hides in their hotel room

[19:00] and they one by one go up to the room and he kills them.

[19:03] Like a Venus fly trap.

[19:05] Yeah, exactly, except less exciting.

[19:07] It's sort of set up.

[19:09] So are you suggesting that if...

[19:11] One by one, they go into the dark room.

[19:13] thunk

[19:14] is that you Evan

[19:16] you must have

[19:17] gone to this room

[19:18] what it's so dark

[19:19] in here

[19:19] thunk

[19:20] so you're putting

[19:21] forward that

[19:22] video renters

[19:23] or people who use

[19:24] Netflix or whatever

[19:25] should instead of

[19:26] renting this movie

[19:27] just go out and buy

[19:28] a Venus fly trap

[19:29] and watch that for

[19:30] 88 minutes

[19:31] I guarantee

[19:31] even if you don't

[19:32] have flies in the area

[19:33] or sea monkeys

[19:34] they don't kill anything

[19:36] but they also

[19:37] they do if you train them

[19:38] those are guard sea monkeys

[19:41] oh those are different

[19:42] yeah

[19:42] I was thinking of military-trained monkeys that wear flippers

[19:46] and dive with Navy SEALs and everything.

[19:49] Work with Navy frogmen.

[19:51] You were thinking of the 96 Sea Monkeys unit.

[19:54] Now, one of the things that I really loved about this movie,

[19:57] in addition to the complete lack of gore, because, yeah.

[20:00] It was a PG-13 horror movie.

[20:02] Well, it was unrated.

[20:03] The DVD box said unrated.

[20:05] Said unrated.

[20:05] But by unrated, they meant, like, it wasn't gruesome enough to get a rating.

[20:09] Like, it didn't even get a G rating.

[20:12] It's like a horror movie that, like, Howie Mandel directed.

[20:15] Like, he was afraid of getting his hands dirty the whole time.

[20:17] Like Little Monsters?

[20:19] We didn't direct that.

[20:20] They didn't write that when he's in it.

[20:21] He should have.

[20:22] Yeah.

[20:23] All I remember about Little Monsters is the monster pees into something and pretends it's apple juice.

[20:28] Yeah, and puts cat food for tuna fish.

[20:31] Is there a scene in that where, like, something pulls Fred Savage's pants down or something like that?

[20:36] Probably, yeah.

[20:36] I remember as a kid seeing that in a commercial and being like, that's inappropriate.

[20:39] Yeah, no, that movie, I watched it growing up on HBO.

[20:42] And I'm like, even as a kid, I'm like, this is a deeply perverse children's film.

[20:46] Yeah, there's a lot of...

[20:47] This is a dirty feeling.

[20:48] I watched that movie on VHS as a kid, and I was like, why wasn't this released in theaters?

[20:53] It's great.

[20:53] Monsters, live in your bed.

[20:56] It's like the Garbage Pail Kids movie.

[20:57] Yeah.

[20:58] Oh, that's its own horrible thing.

[21:01] In addition to complete lack of gore, which I think I've mentioned a couple times, is the police work.

[21:06] Luckily, the police work is really abysmal.

[21:10] As they say in the making of, they combine so many different genres, as he says, because genres rhymes with a hard J sound apparently.

[21:18] It's a police procedural.

[21:21] It's a killer on the loose movie.

[21:23] It's a teen movie.

[21:24] And as a police procedural, it fails on every level because the police have no procedure.

[21:29] It's just kind of like, eh, I guess, well, there's a killer on the loose.

[21:33] I guess we'll hang around a while.

[21:34] Well, they learn that the guy escaped.

[21:36] They learn that the guy escaped like three days before prom or whatever.

[21:39] But they were so caught up in prom madness to really worry about it.

[21:43] And then their solution is like, okay, this guy is probably going to track down this girl.

[21:48] We're going to go to prom.

[21:49] We're not going to reveal our presence at prom.

[21:51] We're going to watch from the sidelines.

[21:53] We're going to hang around.

[21:54] I think really what happened is that he didn't get to go to prom when he was a kid.

[21:57] So he was like, I'm going to stop this killer.

[22:00] And then he saw prom was going on.

[22:01] He was like, you know, I never had the things other kids had.

[22:03] What a magical time.

[22:05] So this is what prom is like.

[22:06] I feel like a prince.

[22:09] the i think part of it though was after they found out everybody had already left for prom

[22:14] so he went and talked to the girl's aunt and uncle who the girl was living with don i believe was

[22:18] cared yeah the aunt dropped a big plate because she was so horrified yeah which who called that

[22:23] was that you did good job um and then he was like yeah you know this killer's probably on the loose

[22:27] he's probably gonna go kill donna they're like i don't know if we should interrupt prom i mean

[22:31] it's a big time there's a conversation between the aunt and uncle later where the aunt is like

[22:35] you're the one who didn't want her to didn't think you we should take get take her back home

[22:39] And I don't remember what his rationale for it was

[22:41] But it was something like, well, it's prom night

[22:43] Yeah, also, I just want to point out

[22:45] Memories last forever

[22:46] The aunt, played by the coach's first wife's sister

[22:48] This night will be with her as long as she lives

[22:50] On Friday Night Lights

[22:51] And the two cops are characters from The Wire

[22:54] Stringer Bell and Ziggy

[22:56] So there's a whole Friday Night Lights

[22:59] The Wire thing going on here

[23:00] But I would recommend that you watch those two television programs

[23:03] Rather than watching prom night

[23:04] It means as bad as this movie is

[23:06] The people who made it have good taste in television

[23:08] yeah they're like oh these are fine actors maybe they'll elevate this uh the same way where even if

[23:13] i was making like a bikini car wash type movie i would hire a lot of actors that i like uh you know

[23:19] from old television shows and stuff to give them to give them work i really like kevin o'rourke

[23:24] from remember when i've got a role for you come on down you know but todd barry you know i'd love

[23:30] to have you in this and he's not really a tv actor but you know so but the cops um struggerbell and

[23:36] ziggy the cops they go to prom they hang out they lurk they don't tell anyone they look creepy they

[23:42] look creepy they're two adults hanging around prom just watching although arguably the one adult

[23:47] looks about the same age as the kids except he has a mustache he has the beginnings of a mustache

[23:52] so they keep their eye on like the main girl until one point when like ziggy comes in he's like oh

[23:58] there's something in the parking lot you gotta see and they go out and they look they find they

[24:01] look at a corpse in the in the trunk of a car of the killer's car i assume yeah and that's when the

[24:06] girl leaves and i'm like can't the guy just tell him i was like oh i found a corpse in the car

[24:11] someone's definitely here now's the time to remove this girl from prom he was waiting to get a really

[24:17] good picture of the guy's reaction for like some kind of a police bloopers really good for the

[24:22] holiday party he was really trying to get him to do a take or something now we gotta paste this on

[24:25] your locker he's like i put a delicious banana split for you in the store can i if i could tell

[24:33] a brief a brief story about uh policemen's lockers i remember as a cub scout going on a tour of the

[24:39] local police station and the police officer is showing us around the the building and everything

[24:44] and he takes us to the locker room and opens up his locker to show us his gear and inside there's

[24:49] a polaroid of him sitting in a chair and a stripper hanging her naked boobs over his head

[24:55] and he was and i just i remember him turning to like trying to ignore that it was there and then

[25:00] turning to the den mother who had brought us on this storm being like that was a bachelor party

[25:04] for one of the other policemen uh you know i like that he turns he explains to her he's ignoring

[25:11] the fact that you're that we can all see it i feel like i need to apologize to you the adult

[25:18] but i'm not covering it up i mean yeah that's that's an awesome story that didn't happen in

[25:23] this movie sadly no i haven't thought about that experience in probably 11 years so you know

[25:28] brings memory back it does yeah it's like it's like this is my remembrance of things past

[25:34] prom night is my you know whatever is it madeline yeah so um oh but so the police are so they stand

[25:41] around and look in the body in the trunk for about 30 minutes and then the killer kills people and

[25:47] donna gets something and then that he's chasing the the one the one girl um i i hate to just like

[25:53] keep applying her by race lisa but the thing is you can remember her because the african-american

[25:59] girl in this had the same name lisa is the african-american character in saved by the bell

[26:04] yeah played by lark vorhees sure so lisa like i assume her last name was turtle just like lisa

[26:09] turtle and save me yeah i watched a bunch of uh saved by the bell college years while i was on

[26:14] my vacation recently not as good no and that's saying something considering save by the bell is

[26:18] a terrible show well we can agree to disagree let's go on but lisa runs off she she realizes

[26:25] who the guy is and she runs off and she gets attacked by him and she runs as stewart alluded

[26:32] to earlier she runs into an area of the hotel that is just exposed uh wooden beams and plastic

[26:40] sheeting and i mean this is some sort of luxury hotel some sort of lighting that kind of fades

[26:46] on and off apparently they're not finished building it and they haven't blocked off that

[26:50] part yeah it's easily accessible for the patrons and there were no deleted scenes on the dvd about

[26:54] how the hotel was having trouble finishing construction yeah basically she just the

[26:59] killer just was like i'm gonna chase you into the spooky area of the hotel

[27:03] the best part of that is he chases her in this into the spooky area and then her boyfriend who's

[27:09] looking for her the elevator doors open an area of the hotel that people should patrons should be

[27:14] allowed in that they happen to be in and there's no reason he should know they're in there and go

[27:18] and goes lisa lisa yeah she's not here and the door is closed and then she go and he goes somewhere

[27:25] else like yeah well and that's for that moment where she's like should i call out but if i do

[27:30] i might get stabbed by the killer like that it was that tension they were looking for and frankly

[27:34] they achieved it i gotta tell you the killer the one time that he didn't prove himself to me was

[27:40] when he's chasing her down the stairs and her shoe broke and she fell down that was unfair he had

[27:45] nothing to do with that yeah maybe maybe he did have something to do maybe he cut like maybe he

[27:50] cut her while she was making out with her boyfriend he was just slicing away slightly at the heel with

[27:56] his magic knife that he uses to do everything with yep so but anyway once they realize that

[28:01] people are getting killed finally finally the cops spring where did he get where did he get

[28:04] that knife by the way he used he had it when he was in the like insane asylum yeah he must have

[28:09] smuggled it in his rectum or did he make it i like to think that was that looked like a leatherman

[28:13] professional knife i don't know he's he's pretty adept at doing things he was he was a high school

[28:18] teacher you're saying he did teach a knife making class so you're saying this is like rambo and each

[28:23] time he goes out on a mission he makes a new knife for it yeah absolutely yeah but no but finally the

[28:27] cops spring into action they they um the cops lurch slightly into action they call a bunch of

[28:35] guys with mustaches and SWAT gear from the next town over they evacuate i like to believe that

[28:40] they're just guys who are at a costume party dressed as SWAT guys they go they take the girl

[28:45] away they send one cop with her and they don't take the girl to the police precinct they allow

[28:51] her to go home they take her home and then the and then the cop who's supposed to be keeping the

[28:56] house secure sits in his car while everyone else is in the house and he just keeps rubbing his ear

[29:02] and like you know and the other cop calls him and is like you got to check in on them no the area

[29:08] is secure check in on them and you kind of get the idea that in previous cases this guy has refused

[29:13] to get out of his car like he knows that it's a habit of his to just sit in his car not doing

[29:17] anything nice car he's got heated seats he's got one of those beaded things that massage you yeah

[29:22] drive cup holder he's got a psp in the car yeah built into the car yeah well no he brought it's

[29:30] in the glove box and he pulls it out and plays whatever video games kids play nowadays or cops

[29:34] a bubble bobble i think sure yep bionic commander yeah

[29:38] they're all playing a boy in his blob

[29:45] maniac mansion let's name some more sure okay

[29:53] okay so uh megaman x2 so the thing is like i think the reason he stayed in his car is marvel

[30:02] oh he said moment there were there at least like four or five uh scenes where somebody's like hey

[30:08] hey buddy friend when walk over to the person like are you asleep lift up the person's head

[30:13] oh my god, their necks slashed.

[30:15] I kept thinking of the trailer

[30:17] that Eli Roth made for Grindhouse

[30:19] for the Thanksgiving movie where

[30:21] she's kissing the guy

[30:23] and it's just a head

[30:24] and she goes down on another guy

[30:27] and she looks up and his head falls off.

[30:29] It was that kind of thing.

[30:30] It was ridiculous.

[30:31] First of all, I would imagine

[30:35] a neck wound would bleed a lot.

[30:37] I haven't seen anybody who's had their necks slashed.

[30:39] There's a thing called arterial spray

[30:41] It's one of the major

[30:42] arteries in your body.

[30:44] Yeah, so a lot of blood would get everywhere.

[30:46] I don't think it would be just artful

[30:48] like, hey, let's spray a little blood here.

[30:50] It would be all over the place.

[30:52] Well, he soaks his knife

[30:54] in liquid nitrogen before cutting

[30:56] people with it. He soaks his knife in a

[30:58] coagulant so that the people

[31:00] clot almost instantly.

[31:01] It's kind of like a lightsaber.

[31:03] He's sort of in an OCD kind of...

[31:05] It cauterizes.

[31:07] I couldn't remember the word.

[31:08] Professional writer. Can't remember the word cauterize.

[31:11] Stuart, cauterize.

[31:12] Yeah.

[31:13] Boom.

[31:14] Daily Show sucks.

[31:15] All of our cauterization jokes.

[31:18] I'm such a hypocrite.

[31:19] But there are a lot of scenes where people don't realize there's a dead body.

[31:24] She's hiding under a bed at one point as the killer looks for her,

[31:27] and she's under the bed for about two minutes and then looks over

[31:30] and notices there's a dead body centimeters away from her.

[31:33] Yeah, like looking at her.

[31:35] I don't know about you guys,

[31:36] but every time I duck under a bed when I'm avoiding a killer,

[31:38] I check pretty clearly if there's another killer down there.

[31:41] Because you want room to stretch out.

[31:42] Yeah, and you want to make sure there isn't a killer's evil twin down there, too.

[31:49] You want to make sure it's not like Basket Case and the killer's Siamese twin brother who's a tiny gremlin.

[31:55] Yeah, like a little ghoulie.

[31:56] That's also why I check my toilet every time before I sit down.

[32:00] They'll get you in the end.

[32:02] The posters scarred me for life.

[32:05] I check under the skirts of women with poodle skirts and fishnet stockings to make sure a munchie isn't down there.

[32:11] But frankly, I also check down there to make sure there aren't a shitload of, like, gross spiders and stuff.

[32:18] Because if there's a killer chasing me, the last thing I want is to be bit by a gross spider.

[32:21] Well, but you saw that hotel.

[32:22] It was super clean.

[32:23] Yeah, and when was the last time you've been in a hotel where you can actually climb under the bed?

[32:27] That's true.

[32:28] That's true.

[32:29] Not recently.

[32:31] But anyway, speaking of the hotel, while they're at home with one guy on the girl,

[32:36] Stringer Bell realizes, oh, look, there's blood up here in the air vent.

[32:42] He stuffed a body in the air vent, and he switched out the hotel uniform,

[32:48] and he escaped when everyone was evacuating.

[32:50] I think that, number one, he might have checked the people that were being evacuated.

[32:55] No, he just let everyone rush out in a big crowd.

[32:57] Yeah, but number two, the guy escaped from the mental institution through an air vent.

[33:02] And wearing somebody else's clothes.

[33:05] The other thing is, like, yeah, I mean, like, the guy just left.

[33:09] Like, if he let the guy walk by him, what was he expecting the killer to look like?

[33:13] He thought he had a beard and a lot of crazy hair.

[33:16] And, like, a lot of blood on, like, on a knife.

[33:18] Well, listen, we all know what killers look like.

[33:20] They're wearing hockey masks, and they've got big machetes and a ton of blood on them.

[33:24] Or Freddy Krueger faces.

[33:26] At the police academy, they're like, how do you identify a killer?

[33:30] Well, let's take a look.

[33:31] He's going to have either crazy hair or a crazy beard.

[33:34] Maybe he's got blood all over him.

[33:36] That's a good clue.

[33:37] And if not, then he's not a killer.

[33:39] I'm imagining like a Hogan's Alley type situation where like cardboard cutouts flip around.

[33:44] You're like, baby, woman with a baby, normal person, killer with a beard.

[33:48] And then it says, what if that's a killer without a beard?

[33:52] No such thing.

[33:53] Correct.

[33:54] You passed.

[33:55] 100%

[33:56] You're now an honorary sheriff

[33:59] Now you're in Hero Squad

[34:01] Here's your machine gun

[34:03] The best TV show, Hero Squad

[34:06] They're the cops who break the rules

[34:08] Because they have to

[34:09] Hero Squad with Stryker and Hicks

[34:11] Hero Squad, Stryker and Hicks, Hero Squad

[34:14] Not really police

[34:16] They just do stuff

[34:17] And their Native American tracker, Steel Wolf

[34:20] Steel Wolf

[34:21] Hunter Darkblade

[34:22] Darkclaw, Blood Iron

[34:25] sleek shadow storm storm striker they have a storm striker related to detective striker yeah

[34:34] they're brothers okay but like blood brothers storm striker is actually a weatherman he didn't

[34:40] go into the police force nice so how many of those guys were native american trackers almost all of

[34:46] them nice but they're bringing their expertise to like a more urban environment yes well you know

[34:53] So they left the reservation.

[34:54] There wasn't a lot of future for them there.

[34:56] They took construction work, and now they're in the police force.

[34:59] They can read, like, pigeon droppings.

[35:02] They're the only ones who can track the wolfen that are at large in the city.

[35:06] Oh, man, so many wolfen in New York.

[35:09] Well, I mean, they went down briefly when Giuliani was mayor, but now they're back.

[35:12] Yeah, the wolfen and the chuds, man.

[35:14] Anyway, but at the end, there's an exciting confrontation.

[35:19] Oh, wait, no, there's not.

[35:20] It's incredibly exciting.

[35:22] The girl kicks him twice

[35:25] And then Stringer Bell shoots him

[35:27] Where it's like she kicks him in the face

[35:29] Really hard

[35:30] Like three times

[35:31] And they have a really good meat slapping sound effect

[35:35] Like a fucking Indiana Jones movie

[35:37] Like where'd she learn to kick

[35:39] And second of all have you ever kicked somebody's head

[35:41] With your shoe off

[35:42] It hurts like a bitch

[35:44] Like even if you have a lot of adrenaline going through

[35:46] She's probably got calluses all over her feet

[35:48] From cheerleading practice or something

[35:50] That's true and from running to hide under beds

[35:52] yeah i wish they'd they'd explored that area of her personality a little more like they showed

[35:57] like her growing up since it'd be interesting like you show her constantly hiding under bed

[36:01] yeah there's something like she she goes to sleep under a bed because it's the only place she feels

[36:05] safe absolutely that's where she eats dinner goes to school sure she takes a bed into school with

[36:11] her and lies underneath it nice that'd be awkward but i bet she could do it you'd really think that

[36:16] she would school nowadays but you know what you think is that her the uh homework assignment

[36:20] under the bed sure you'd think that the teacher at the school went crazy killed her family you'd

[36:26] think she would leave town and probably another school system i would if a teacher got really

[36:31] obsessed with me sexually and then killed my entire family i'd probably go to a different town

[36:36] yeah yeah but i would still be really excited maybe you'd even change your name i don't know

[36:41] nope no i would remain striker steelwell well your birth name dr inferno fire burns

[36:48] Let's wrap it up because there's really not that much about this movie to talk about.

[36:52] We should just get on to our final judgments.

[36:55] Magma Hot Steel.

[36:56] Dan's favorite, Mean Man Cruel Some.

[36:59] He's the villain, though.

[37:03] Oh, wait a minute.

[37:04] Oh my god, I've been making the wrong movie.

[37:07] I've got to get out of here.

[37:08] Change my name to Punch Slab Rock Fist.

[37:10] Okay, so wait, final judgments?

[37:14] Yeah, let's talk about it.

[37:15] Is this a good bad movie?

[37:17] bad bad movie or a movie that uh you actually genuinely like you know i think a lot like the

[37:23] movie this uh our final judgments are going to be a complete switcheroonie from what we've been

[37:28] talking about the whole time uh no i'm not lying it's not very good it's a bad movie i would never

[37:34] watch this again yeah i was saying during the um during the movie it's like one of those pictures

[37:39] made up of a lot of pictures not like those those like collage pictures not like the truman show

[37:44] poster but one of those pictures where it's like we've taken 100 photographs of a person and merged

[37:51] them i've never seen one to create like like an average photo of like the features and this is

[37:56] sort of that the version of that with like we took a hundred slasher films and we've merged them so

[38:02] only the blandest version only the similarities appear yeah where do you see these types of

[38:06] pictures oh you know the internet he's got a prescription he's got a subscription to crazy

[38:11] picture magazine okay the craziest pictures every month in your mailbox i thought that was a weekly

[38:19] that's goofy photo weekly okay so that's two bad bad movies and i'm gonna say shockingly as you as

[38:27] you said uh it's a bad bad movie as i at what i what i said we were watching is it felt like

[38:32] an outline for a movie first there's the scene with the killer then there's the scene with the

[38:37] therapist where we explain what happened then it's prom time there's a scene where they're

[38:41] getting ready for prom then they're on the way to prom like there was no connective tissue and

[38:45] there was no fleshing out it was just like the points you had to hit to tell this terrible story

[38:50] i will say a lot of the scenes were lit well i don't know who did the lighting but it was well

[38:54] lit a lot of the time yeah and good casting of the minor characters the minor character and that's

[38:59] the major character it was like at times it felt like they were like well we're making this this

[39:04] by the numbers slasher film maybe we'll have robert altman cast the side characters and create

[39:08] their backstories because there's it's like just that just that like lesbian gym teacher was so

[39:13] much more interesting even though she's in she has about 40 seconds on screen than donna you know if

[39:19] this movie had just been a movie where the police are really bad at their jobs i might have liked it

[39:25] i mean it would have been armed and dangerous or i liked lethal weapon 2 you know um or loaded

[39:30] weapon one yeah absolutely or nine and a half ninjas or beverly hills ninja any of these movies

[39:40] three ninjas kick back sidekicks yes chuck norris oh man now we're now we're probably

[39:50] going to be able to be googled now since we mentioned chuck norris yeah that's true he's

[39:53] pretty hilarious he's lost his cred now now that he's everyone knows he's a huckabee conservative

[39:59] type okay but anyway you were saying it was just about incompetent police i liked it but it was

[40:04] also not very interesting or anything else it was very boring it was not 10 000 bc boring yeah no

[40:10] of course not i think that would be unfair i think the 10 000 bc has been the uh nadir of the that is

[40:15] the dullest movie of the program we have watched yeah it was that was really bad even one missed

[40:21] call was better than that oh yeah that's just the song the song the bear plays on that note on that

[40:28] Happy note, let's move on.

[40:29] Spear toots.

[40:31] Manics.

[40:32] He took down a manic all by himself.

[40:35] Before we get into our recommendations, I have a few announcements to make.

[40:39] You sound so excited.

[40:40] Yeah.

[40:41] You know me.

[40:42] I'm filled with joy.

[40:45] What you guys don't know is that every time we do one of these, Dan is drinking out of a bottle of gin.

[40:49] And so if it sounds like his energy is flagging by the end, it's because he's just thinking about the people he's wronged.

[40:54] Their faces swimming before him.

[40:57] Yep, he keeps picking up a photo of his lost love and putting it down and picking it up and putting it down.

[41:03] I think her name was Angela.

[41:05] Look, I'm sorry if you guys find that distracting.

[41:07] Anyway, I bet some of you, not all of you, but a couple of you were wondering about the Flophouse contest.

[41:14] Since we haven't mentioned anything about it since we mentioned the winner.

[41:18] Judy, the winner of the Flophouse contest.

[41:21] You may remember her as the person who put delightful temporary tattoos all over her body.

[41:26] Wait, those were temporary?

[41:27] I think we should revoke her victory.

[41:30] She is apparently moving away.

[41:34] That's too bad.

[41:36] So we probably can't have her on the show.

[41:39] However, I want to keep the option open.

[41:41] I want to keep the invite open because, honestly, she was so far ahead.

[41:46] She earned it.

[41:47] She was the best entry by far.

[41:49] But, however, it was way better than my entry.

[41:52] Yeah, yours was terrible.

[41:53] Yeah.

[41:54] That was just a dead bird.

[41:56] You handed me a dead bird.

[41:57] You have a cat.

[41:59] I figured it would remind you of your cat and you'd like it.

[42:02] No.

[42:02] Okay, yeah, so if Judy ever wants to come and watch a movie...

[42:05] I didn't even kill that bird.

[42:06] You're invited.

[42:06] I just found it.

[42:07] However, the other contest we have running, the Uwe Bull contest...

[42:13] That's how you pronounce that?

[42:14] That is how...

[42:15] You weren't here for the last episode when we talked about this.

[42:18] Wait a minute.

[42:19] You guys did one without me?

[42:21] Yeah.

[42:21] What'd you watch?

[42:24] god wild hogs uh anyway wild hogs you know okay well i was an extra in that movie so i'm not

[42:30] allowed to actually talk about it in the podcast so it's okay you guys did it without me yeah were

[42:35] you an extra in the scene where they were at the chili festival or whatever or were you an extra

[42:40] in the scene where chili fest where they were skinny dipping and the family came along no i

[42:46] just watched that scene uh when i watched it at home last night on laserdisc limited edition

[42:53] pressing one of one of the wild hogs laser disc but anyway um we have a winner for the uh cast

[43:00] create and cast an uvable film contest i just want to read it okay uh this is for wolfenstein

[43:07] 3d colon that's a good choice the movie slash 3d um we've got here former la raiders superstar

[43:16] and cbs personality howie long nice as allied spy william bj blaskowitz did you guys ever

[43:23] Did you guys ever read Wizard Magazine, the guide to comics?

[43:26] Yeah, absolutely.

[43:26] They were really pushing the idea of Howie Long playing Venom slash Eddie Brock in a Spider-Man movie.

[43:32] Yeah.

[43:32] And I don't know why they thought that he was so good at it.

[43:36] He was so charming in those ads with Terry Hatcher.

[43:38] This was way before that.

[43:40] This was when he was making that Firefighter movie.

[43:42] Yeah, it was like Fireproof or Flamestorm.

[43:44] Axe Fire.

[43:47] Ultimate Flamestorm.

[43:48] The other thing was...

[43:51] Heartfire.

[43:52] And back during, and Wizard still has that column, by the way.

[43:55] Not that I look at Wizard Magazine.

[43:55] I haven't read that magazine in years.

[43:57] I looked through.

[43:58] It was in my friend's car one time.

[44:00] I was looking through it.

[44:00] But like, and for a long time, up until pretty much the release, they were pushing for Glenn

[44:05] Danzig to be Wolverine.

[44:06] Yeah, they were really big on that.

[44:08] That was weird.

[44:08] They're big on people who don't have acting careers playing characters.

[44:12] Well, I think that being comics, like people, first of all, I think that they maybe like

[44:16] just focused on the look.

[44:17] Maybe.

[44:18] This person can capture the look of the comic.

[44:20] Yeah.

[44:21] Yeah, but can they perform?

[44:22] Can they actually...

[44:23] They got the goods.

[44:25] Yeah.

[44:25] The acting chops.

[44:26] Let me get through this winning entry, though.

[44:30] Okay, drop it on us.

[44:31] So far, it's good.

[44:32] Amanda Peet as Nazi prison commandant Isla Braunsteiner,

[44:36] who secretly loves the strange American spy.

[44:38] At the beginning of the movie's last act,

[44:41] she eats the poison sausage the Fuhrer intended for Blazkowicz.

[44:44] We got Alec Baldwin as cyborg Adolf Hitler.

[44:48] I don't know about that casting.

[44:50] Thora Birch as Cyborg Eva Braun.

[44:53] Who do you look at for Cyborg?

[44:55] Cyborg Adolf Hitler.

[44:57] I mean, my go-to is Wallace Shawn, and I think he might be good at that.

[45:00] But I don't know.

[45:01] Let's see.

[45:02] Okay.

[45:02] Ringo Starr.

[45:05] Oh, oh, Sheila Buff, Cyborg Adolf Hitler.

[45:07] There you go.

[45:08] Done.

[45:08] Ringo Starr and Zach Galifianakis as Nazi prisoners Lieutenant Smith Smitty and Lieutenant Frenchy, respectively.

[45:17] Just to see the two of them on screen together.

[45:19] Chemistry.

[45:20] Explosive

[45:21] Jamie Kennedy is head prison guard

[45:25] Hans Gross

[45:26] Who BJ beats to death

[45:28] With a bust of Hitler

[45:29] Later when he and Isla jog past the body

[45:33] She exclaims

[45:34] Mein Gott, it's gross

[45:35] BJ shrugs and mutters

[45:37] Baby, I've seen grosser things

[45:39] Isla rolls her eyes along with a musical sting

[45:42] By an accordion

[45:43] And lastly, Christopher Lloyd

[45:45] As President Franklin D. Roosevelt

[45:47] I want this movie made for that

[45:49] Because Christopher Lloyd doesn't do enough work

[45:51] So that's Colin from Portland, Oregon

[45:53] What about Suburban Commando?

[45:55] I didn't say he made no movies ever in history

[45:57] I said he doesn't do enough work

[45:59] Wait, when it's...

[46:00] I didn't say that actor's

[46:03] Never been featured in a film before

[46:05] I don't know who that is

[46:07] Suburban Commando's like 14 years old

[46:10] But I just saw that in the movie theater yesterday

[46:14] Colin, you should write

[46:17] With your full address

[46:19] to theflophousepodcast at gmail.com

[46:21] so we can send your

[46:23] award, your prize

[46:25] to you. Hey, what's this prize?

[46:26] It's

[46:29] season one of Rocky and Bullwinkle

[46:31] because that's a DVD I own

[46:32] and am getting rid of.

[46:34] Don't pull back the curtain too much.

[46:36] And a signed copy

[46:39] of Wild Hogs, signed by all of us.

[46:40] Oh, that's awesome.

[46:41] The actual copy we used for the show.

[46:44] That's a piece. We could have sent that to the

[46:46] Smithsonian, but instead you're going to get

[46:48] it colin yeah you can frame that or you can do or you can throw it or you can watch it's yours

[46:55] it's now your property you're responsible for listen you legally can do anything you're actually

[47:01] legally required to take it i don't want it anymore so there you go also you know what

[47:06] maybe i'll throw something in too yeah i don't know what yet but okay expect expect something

[47:11] else along with daily shows yeah so expect some sort of crap hang on some sort of swag um i threw

[47:17] had a lot of Daily Show promotional stuff

[47:19] that I should have kept from 2004

[47:20] that Colin might have liked.

[47:22] Okay, stop with the mouth.

[47:24] And, hey, Sarah Schaefer,

[47:29] you had to plug something while she was on the show,

[47:30] so let me just plug something

[47:31] because it's been a while since I've been in a live show,

[47:34] but if you live in the New York area,

[47:37] you can come see me in a show called

[47:40] Shameful Display Presents You, Your World, and You,

[47:43] which is a political sketch comedy show,

[47:46] and it's going to be October 1926.

[47:49] And those are two dates, not 1926 a year.

[47:53] I was going to say, let me get my time machine, Dan.

[47:56] And ho-hum.

[47:58] Maybe after the show we can go down to the store club

[48:01] and hang out with Zelda and F. Scott.

[48:03] And November 2 and 9 at 9.30 at the Magnet Theater.

[48:07] That's at magnettheater.com if you want to look it up.

[48:11] And it's a mere $5.

[48:13] Swing by the Magnet Theater and see the show,

[48:15] then over to the Cotton Club.

[48:16] Yeah.

[48:17] See the Duke Ellington Orchestra.

[48:19] I feel like, what's this douche look like in real life?

[48:22] Dinner at Del Frisco is with Meyer Lansky.

[48:24] Yeah, so there's that.

[48:26] Played by Patrick Dempsey in the movie Mobsters.

[48:29] Played to a tee, might I add.

[48:32] Then it's off to Paris with Ernest and Gertrude.

[48:35] Anyone else have any plugs before we move on?

[48:37] I mean, I always have plenty of stuff to plug, but I won't get into it.

[48:40] All right.

[48:40] I'm not allowed to plug.

[48:42] Yeah, Stuart doesn't understand the concept of plugging things.

[48:45] So, all right, let's move on to our recommendations.

[48:49] Movies we actually like, because it is Shocktober here at...

[48:53] Chains rattling, chains rattling.

[49:00] We're recommending horror films.

[49:10] Ring around the rocks

[49:13] We are angering our fans

[49:17] Sound of spiders

[49:18] Let me take out my Fright Sounds

[49:21] Volume 4 tape from the cassette player

[49:24] Okay, Dan, continue

[49:25] We're doing horror movie recommendations

[49:29] And just to stop you guys from making Fright Sounds

[49:31] Let me go first

[49:33] I would like to recommend

[49:35] The Signal

[49:36] It's a film

[49:38] I believe it came out last year

[49:40] It's about a mysterious signal that is broadcast over the radio and television, and it makes everyone very aggressive, makes them paranoid.

[49:51] People are still rational in the sense that they think that they're making sense, but their perception is altered so that they attack people in ways because they're hallucinating and such and such.

[50:04] and it's split into three sections

[50:06] it's actually directed by three different people

[50:08] and it has kind of an overarching story

[50:11] but each segment has a different

[50:12] tone like the first one is sort of like a zombie movie

[50:14] the second one is like a horror comedy

[50:17] like a black comedy and the third one

[50:18] is kind of a psychological thriller

[50:20] and it's good

[50:22] I recommend it, keep it short

[50:24] I'm pretty sure

[50:26] I didn't recommend this last time I was on but I was

[50:28] pretty drunk so I don't remember

[50:30] but I would like to recommend

[50:32] a British film called The Cottage.

[50:34] I don't know if you

[50:36] can see it over here in

[50:37] the old United States yet,

[50:40] but it stars

[50:42] Andy Serkis, who played Gollum,

[50:44] and Rhys Shearsmith from

[50:46] The League of Gentlemen. And the premise

[50:48] is that a pair of kind of bumbling guys,

[50:50] a pair of bumbling brothers, end up

[50:52] kidnapping the daughter of a mob boss

[50:54] and they take her to this cottage out in the woods.

[50:56] Unknown to them, they've actually

[50:58] stumbled into the predatory

[51:00] grounds of a like a hillbilly cannibal murderer guy and uh stuff gets killed it's good it's a

[51:07] horror comedy i'd watch it i yeah i'm comedy circus once he's a very hairy man very short

[51:13] very hairy that's what i have to say about that all right um well my the scary movie i'll recommend

[51:21] is one uh i'm gonna pick an old movie because that's what i do if anyone hasn't seen the movie

[51:26] the old dark house which was one that james whale made right after frankenstein but before bride of

[51:32] frankenstein i think that i i think i think that's the timeline of it and is the classic story of

[51:37] a couple had their car breaks down on a rainy night they're near an old dark house and there

[51:42] is a creepy family living in the house and it's there's nothing supernatural in the movie it's

[51:47] just creepy stuff this that an insane brother insane sister they're both very creepy they have

[51:53] another brother who they've locked upstairs because he's too dangerous to let out boris

[51:57] carloff carloff is their disgruntled butler who drinks and gets violent it's just very uh

[52:02] kind of insane in a way 30s movies are sometimes uh and also i'm going to recommend even though

[52:08] it's shocked over and this is not a scary movie um a movie i just finished watching this morning

[52:12] called the friends of eddie coyle with robert mitchum and uh peter boyle oh and alex rocco

[52:18] which is a really good uh crime thriller from the 70s about kind of criminals who are career

[52:24] criminals and don't like doing this anymore because it's not a great way to make a living

[52:28] but they kind of have to live with this with the consequences of of having this life and robert

[52:34] mitchum is really good in it yeah it has a very inappropriate score though it's kind of like

[52:38] guys hanging out in seedy bars a lot and kind of dealing with the unhappiness of where their life

[52:43] is now that they're not young but they're still involved in crime but the soundtrack is like

[52:47] like very 70s but like the night court theme no that's

[52:55] yeah this is more of a guitar sound less of a bass guitar sound

[53:05] you're listening to mouth instruments

[53:08] oh bobby mcfarren just walked in

[53:13] oh man goodbye bobby

[53:19] this is like an old-time radio show oh put your things down by the fire crinkle crinkle crinkle

[53:28] crinkle crinkle foley artist you think that saying words is the same as having sad effects

[53:34] i'm kind of an onomatopoeia type guy all right well this has been a fun night

[53:38] Nothing takes the fun out of a night

[53:42] Like stating it's fun

[53:44] Nothing deflates a room than that

[53:47] Yeah, so we're done, right?

[53:49] Yeah, we're done

[53:50] Okay, cool

[53:50] Good night, everyone

[53:51] I'm Dan McCoy

[53:53] I'm Stuart Wellington

[53:54] I'm Ellie Kalin for the foreseeable future

[53:56] See ya

[53:57] Bye

[54:08] all right i'm gonna be quiet

[54:20] that's flapping that's flapping werewolf sounds welcome

The Flop House: Episode #24 - Prom Night

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