The Flop House: Episode #26 - 88 Minutes

[0:00] On this episode of the Flophouse, we discuss the surprisingly long 88 minutes.

[0:31] Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:34] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:35] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:37] And Stuart Wellington is not here.

[0:40] Boo!

[0:41] Yeah, that jerk.

[0:44] No, I meant boo, like I wish he was here.

[0:46] Sure, that as well.

[0:48] But unlike other times when he's absent, we don't have a special guest.

[0:53] Boo!

[0:54] Yeah.

[0:55] We tried.

[0:56] We tried.

[0:57] Everyone was busy.

[0:58] Yeah.

[0:59] Apparently, people were too excited about us leaving off their hangovers from last night's election.

[1:04] Yeah.

[1:05] We are recording this a mere day after Barack Obama was elected President of the United States.

[1:12] Elliot, Barack Obama appeared on The Daily Show the week before the election.

[1:18] So would you like to take this opportunity to take credit for his win?

[1:22] Yes.

[1:23] All right.

[1:24] Well, firstly, I'd like to take credit for his win because of the fist bump that I shared with him about a year ago, I guess.

[1:31] Right.

[1:32] When he came.

[1:33] He was a guest via satellite last week, but he was a guest in person quite some time ago.

[1:38] And due to a mishap involving a bag of Doritos that I won't get into here, we were unable to shake hands.

[1:44] And so we fist bumped instead.

[1:46] Right.

[1:47] And I think I gave him –

[1:48] You think you taught him good fist bumps?

[1:51] I gave him the power to win presidential elections through my fist.

[1:54] Or through the Doritos dust that was on your hand.

[1:57] Yes.

[1:58] Maybe it was radioactive Doritos dust.

[2:00] The Doritos dust that made it impossible for me to shake his hand because I had not washed my hands since I'd eaten a bag of Doritos.

[2:06] Yeah.

[2:07] I must have looked like the biggest slob in the world because I was literally standing at the end of a line of people waiting to shake his hand.

[2:12] And I'm just sitting there stuffing Doritos into my face as he makes his way down the line.

[2:17] It was just like the Mr. Bean when the queen or the queen mother is going to the movie theater that he works at.

[2:22] And he's literally trying to fix his fly while she slowly works her way down the line.

[2:27] So I finished the Doritos and I was like, oh, no.

[2:29] I've got Doritos dust all over my hands, looking around for napkins and didn't.

[2:32] That makes it so much worse because before I had pictured the story like you're in the editing bay or something.

[2:39] You're eating Doritos.

[2:40] You exit the room and people are leading him out.

[2:46] You know, say hello to Senator Obama.

[2:49] I knew very well that I was going to be shaking his hand.

[2:52] You had plenty of time to rectify the situation.

[2:54] Couldn't.

[2:55] Maybe dust it off on your pants.

[2:56] Couldn't resist the siren song of Doritos.

[2:59] And then I didn't have enough time to clean my hands thoroughly.

[3:02] Well, but now the thing is like this improves your anecdote tremendously.

[3:06] You're going to be telling your grandchildren, yes, the first black president, I was unable to shake his hand.

[3:11] Because of the Doritos.

[3:13] In fact, you should probably get an endorsement deal from Doritos.

[3:16] I wish that Doritos had a series of commercials called Doritos stories and I could tell that one.

[3:21] And, yeah, they'd pay me in Doritos.

[3:23] The same way I've actually fantasized recently about someday if I am famous doing ads for Popeyes fried chicken because I love their product so much.

[3:31] It's true.

[3:32] And just doing ads for like, hey, I'm Elliot Kalin.

[3:34] Oh, this is great chicken.

[3:35] And I'm saying that because I really believe in it.

[3:37] Well, I think I want to tell all the audience members out there.

[3:40] I would ask for a deal where I could walk into any Popeyes and eat for free whenever I wanted.

[3:44] Yeah, well, I think the only reason that Elliot continues to do the show as he rockets to success is that I live mere blocks away from a Popeyes.

[3:55] And every time before the movie, he comes in with a box of Popeyes.

[3:59] So Doritos and Popeyes, both of you, if you're listening, we are not too proud to take your sponsorship money.

[4:05] Don't give up on this endorsement opportunity.

[4:08] We are listened to by fives of people.

[4:10] I think it's in part Stewart's absence, in part the film that we watched.

[4:16] I feel like we're having a little effort.

[4:18] A little drag down, yeah.

[4:20] Yes, Stewart definitely would have helped because he's full of energy and hilarious sayings.

[4:24] And also like he'd probably do something crazy or silly or say something filthy.

[4:29] He'd probably do a dance.

[4:31] He'd probably do the real Ghostbusters dance.

[4:33] Hey, dudes, well, this movie wasn't so good, was it?

[4:37] You know, so forth.

[4:39] He modulates his voice a lot when he talks.

[4:42] Yeah, but much lower than that.

[4:44] Listen.

[4:45] This is like a really foppish, like, so dudes, 88 Minutes.

[4:50] 88 Minutes is the most awesome movie ever.

[4:52] Was it just me or did that movie suck?

[4:55] Yeah.

[4:56] My impression of him is not very good.

[4:58] More of like a Paul Lin sort of Stewart.

[5:00] No, that doesn't sound anything like Paul Lin.

[5:02] But, yeah, Stewart's not here to end.

[5:04] And the movie itself was, this is a movie we were both very excited to do on the show, 88 Minutes, starring Al Pacino.

[5:09] For God's sake, why?

[5:11] I think there was something about the fact that it stars Al Pacino, a once great actor who has let himself fall apart in terms of,

[5:18] not even in terms of like his life is fine, but in terms of not caring anymore.

[5:21] Well, I mean, we don't know.

[5:23] Yeah, but it's not like, you know, William Holden or Marlon Brando or something.

[5:27] Like an actor who had serious emotional or, you know, addictive problems and his life kind of fell apart a little bit.

[5:33] Or Michael Moriarty who moved to Canada and opened up a piano bar.

[5:37] Yeah, exactly, I guess.

[5:39] But this is Al Pacino who still is incredibly well respected, could do any movie he wanted.

[5:45] He's a man who, or at one point, now I feel like he can no longer open a movie and guarantee success.

[5:51] And also the movie had the gimmick that part of it at least was supposed to be told in real time.

[5:56] Al Pacino's character is called by a serial killer and told he only has 88 minutes to live.

[6:02] And then in theory it's real time from that point on.

[6:04] Right.

[6:05] And also there was the semen transference note.

[6:08] But even that wasn't a big major plot point.

[6:10] We'll get to that part.

[6:11] Let's make it clear though for viewers who may be interested in watching this film.

[6:16] Say that you have 88 minutes before your tickets to Mamma Mia on Broadway.

[6:23] You're taking your lady friend to a show and she's like, oh, I'll be ready in just a minute.

[6:28] And you know that means 88 minutes.

[6:30] Yeah, from personal experience you know that she takes exactly 88 minutes.

[6:33] Exactly.

[6:34] To pretty herself up.

[6:35] And you're like, oh, I can pop in 88 minutes starring Al Pacino.

[6:38] No, you can't.

[6:39] Yeah, put in one of the old universal horror movies.

[6:41] They're all around 80 minutes.

[6:43] Or read a book.

[6:45] Do something else.

[6:46] This film is actually an hour and 40 minutes long.

[6:50] I have to say that.

[6:51] And long at that.

[6:52] If it was 88 minutes long it would have been a better movie.

[6:55] But nowhere.

[6:56] It would have been about as incoherent as it is right now.

[6:59] Let's also make it clear that this is no High Noon.

[7:03] This is also no Nick of Time starring Johnny Depp.

[7:06] Or Snake Eyes.

[7:07] Yeah, the real time component of it is massaged.

[7:12] It's the kind of movie where it's supposed to.

[7:15] The killer says like, you have 65 minutes to live.

[7:19] And Al Pacino gets in the cab and says, I've got to drive across town.

[7:22] You cut to him on the other side of town.

[7:24] And then the guy.

[7:25] And it will be five minutes later in screen time.

[7:27] And the killer will go, you have 60 minutes to live.

[7:30] He's like, wow, he got across Seattle in record time.

[7:32] I don't know how big Seattle is.

[7:34] But I assume it takes more than a cut worth of time.

[7:36] Like 20 seconds, five seconds.

[7:38] Dan, are you all right?

[7:39] It was like 88 minutes.

[7:40] It really took me down a couple of notches.

[7:42] It really did.

[7:43] Maybe we should just pop in the Bratz movie and enjoy ourselves.

[7:46] Would you like me to go to explain the plot of the film, Dan?

[7:48] Yeah, go through it.

[7:49] Why don't you?

[7:50] Al Pacino is famous forensic psychologist, Jack Graham, who's a college professor.

[7:56] And is, as I mentioned, a famous forensic psychologist professor.

[8:00] So we're in a fantasy world already.

[8:02] Who is most famous for putting away a man named John Forster on death row.

[8:07] Who supposedly hangs women from pulley systems and then kills them and tortures them.

[8:13] But there's only circumstantial evidence plus the word of the famous Jack Graham to put him away.

[8:20] So there's questions about maybe this guy was actually innocent.

[8:24] It's the day of his execution.

[8:27] He's scheduled to be executed.

[8:28] And MSNBC is running a four-hour long live interview.

[8:32] I don't know.

[8:33] It's a live broadcast.

[8:35] This is a movie where – and maybe I missed something.

[8:38] But it seems that Al Pacino goes to his apartment, goes through his TiVo listings,

[8:42] chooses the interview on MSNBC, presses play, and then a little later calls into the interview as if it's still going.

[8:49] This is like – it's as if time stopped and doesn't restart again until he selects it on his TiVo and he can call in.

[8:56] But anyway, it's the day of the execution, and people who are close to Al Pacino start dying.

[9:01] And he gets a phone call, a mysterious phone call in that stupid serial killer fake voice that everything uses now.

[9:09] You have 88 minutes to live.

[9:11] Tick-tock, doc.

[9:12] Tick-tock, doc.

[9:13] You have 88 minutes to live, blah, blah, blah.

[9:15] And then – so he suspects everybody.

[9:17] He's a college professor now, so he walks into his class and immediately starts berating the students, assuming that one of them is the killer.

[9:24] And it goes on from there and makes less and less sense as it goes on.

[9:27] One thing that really sort of bugged me about this film was the fact that Al Pacino immediately takes this call at face value.

[9:36] There's no beat where he's like, what?

[9:38] That's weird.

[9:39] Well, probably a crank call, and then something happens.

[9:43] I am a famous forensic psychologist, Dr. Jack Graham.

[9:47] Yeah, no, instead he immediately walks into class and starts like looking – like searching the students' faces and like ripping cell phones from their hands.

[9:56] He does everything short of hold a newspaper in front of his face.

[10:00] with eye holes cut out and just watch people through it.

[10:03] And I sort of also wonder, you know, if that's true,

[10:06] why is he still teaching his class if he's going to take it at face value?

[10:10] And this is what I was trying to remember before, is that this movie is real-time

[10:14] in so much as they show a lot of unnecessary in-between steps.

[10:18] Like, once the 88-minute starts, it's like, well, we're going to follow him as he goes

[10:23] through every component of his day, and now he's teaching his class.

[10:27] Now he's driving back.

[10:28] Now he and his TA are going back home.

[10:30] That he and his TA, played by Alicia Witt, spend a lot of time.

[10:34] The lovely Alicia Witt.

[10:35] Spend a lot of time hanging out in his apartment.

[10:37] And it reminded me of Ringu, the original Japanese version of the,

[10:41] or I guess the feature film Japanese version of The Ring, not the, I guess there had been

[10:46] like a direct-to-video version before that, and this was a remake of it.

[10:48] But anyway, the one that was remade in the United States, where they get the phone,

[10:52] they watch the video, they get the phone call that says, you have seven days to live.

[10:55] And they're like, oh, my God.

[10:57] Oh, well, I guess I'll start figuring this out tomorrow.

[11:00] Or like.

[11:01] Seven days, oh, I should rest up.

[11:03] Yeah, later, like later in the movie, it's like, well, we've got two days left to live.

[11:06] Let's go down to the library and research this.

[11:09] And it's like, oh, six o'clock, library's closing.

[11:11] Oh, let's call it a day.

[11:13] All right.

[11:14] Thank God, Elliot.

[11:15] They can't, they can't do the world in seven days.

[11:17] No, but they.

[11:18] Take it a little slow.

[11:19] There's, let's say, a lack of intensity.

[11:21] Or lack of believable anxiety.

[11:24] If Al Pacino is to believe that, you know.

[11:27] If we are to believe that Al Pacino.

[11:30] If he thinks that someone's killing him, that's when the movie should kick into drive.

[11:34] Let's take this out on the road.

[11:35] But instead, it kind of ambles around for a while.

[11:37] It kicks into drive pretty quickly.

[11:39] And then it has a very long, flabby section in the middle.

[11:42] And then his car blows up and suddenly things get kicked into,

[11:44] into crazy overdrive where nothing makes sense.

[11:47] It makes sense to the, no sense to the degree that I have a hard time sort of picking out what I want to talk about.

[11:53] Well, it was, it's the fact that the killer, who is a human being with not, without magical powers.

[11:58] Seems to be in several places at once all the time.

[12:02] Yeah, that's true.

[12:03] Just ahead of Al Pacino.

[12:05] They're breaking into Al Pacino's apartment.

[12:07] They're also across town killing someone.

[12:10] They're setting up an elaborate pulley system in a public building that no one sees.

[12:14] Making, and then arranging for someone else to make a prank, a phone call.

[12:18] And it's just, it doesn't.

[12:20] Yeah, well, all right.

[12:20] It's like there's an army of, of killers.

[12:22] And there's this, and, and there's a ridiculous red herring that goes on forever.

[12:27] With Alicia Witt's ex-husband, Guy LaForge, hilarious name.

[12:33] The famous French-Canadian trapper, Guy LaForge.

[12:38] But it's also like they're being chased by a man in, or by some figure in black leather outfit.

[12:43] Who's wearing a motorcycle helmet.

[12:45] And she goes, that's Guy.

[12:46] It has to be.

[12:47] Really?

[12:48] Okay.

[12:48] I guess no one's ever, no one else has ever dressed like that.

[12:51] Yeah.

[12:51] This is the only guy in Seattle who dresses like that.

[12:53] She's never seen a motorcyclist before.

[12:56] That's what you got to realize is in Seattle, you know, there's only two motorcyclists.

[13:01] Yeah, one thing about the, the whole being everywhere thing is the whole setup of this movie requires,

[13:08] like, the guy to continually be making phone calls to Al Pacino to be like, 88 minutes,

[13:15] 79 minutes, 76 minutes, 69 minutes.

[13:20] And, you know, Al Pacino will get messages, like, scrawled on his overhead projector at class.

[13:27] Or then, like, keyed into his car's paint job.

[13:32] And you have to wonder, like, how does the murderer know that Al Pacino's going to go down

[13:37] and get into his car at the exact 72-minute mark?

[13:40] Because he, maybe he took a, maybe he took a different route to get to the parking garage.

[13:44] He looks at it and goes, 72 minutes?

[13:47] According to my watch, I've only got 68 minutes.

[13:48] This is great.

[13:49] I got some time back.

[13:50] And the killer is, like, watching from afar and slaps her forehead and goes,

[13:54] no, he's not getting the message properly.

[13:56] Ah. I gave away, I gave away that the killer was a woman.

[13:59] Yeah, well, I was about to give it away because there's a scene where Lili Sobieski,

[14:05] right before that, actually, or right after, in the parking garage, gets beat up.

[14:11] And later on, it's revealed that she's beat herself up to throw suspicion off of herself

[14:17] that was not there in the first place.

[14:19] And Al Pacino, you know, she's like, oh, I can't believe I let the killer get away.

[14:23] That was so stupid of me.

[14:25] And Al Pacino goes, don't beat yourself up.

[14:28] And then he says it again.

[14:29] As if, in case you didn't catch it the first time.

[14:31] Foreshadowing.

[14:32] Don't beat yourself up about it.

[14:34] This movie is nothing if not thorough in reiterating things.

[14:38] There's several lines of dialogue that just basically repeat the same thing over and over

[14:43] in different permutations of the sentence.

[14:45] You also see multiple, you see the same flashback of a celebration at a bar over and over again

[14:52] with no new information being added every time.

[14:55] And at the end, it's one of those movies where there's a showdown between the hero and the

[14:58] villain in which it's made pretty clear what's going on.

[15:01] And then the hero has a phone call with somebody else in which he goes over what the plot of

[15:06] the movie was.

[15:07] Audience, we know that this movie was pretty crazy and unbelievable.

[15:12] You're probably having a hard time keeping track.

[15:14] This is kind of like Synecdoche, New York.

[15:17] It's kind of hard to keep track of the first time you watch it.

[15:20] So let's explain it.

[15:21] I was watching it and I'm like, all right, movie.

[15:24] Yes, this movie was crazy and it had a lot of twists.

[15:26] But that doesn't mean I didn't understand it.

[15:28] It just means it was dumb.

[15:29] It just means it doesn't make any sense.

[15:31] Yeah, there's no sense to it.

[15:33] And even for like a fun, stupid movie, it's not fun.

[15:37] It's just stupid.

[15:38] It just doesn't make enough sense that you're intrigued and want to know what's going on.

[15:43] And the whole thing is so like there's this very seedy undercurrent to it.

[15:46] There's a lot of women's bodies hanging from ceilings.

[15:49] Yeah, like the first nude woman we see in the film is doing like this crazy.

[15:53] She's standing up nude brushing her teeth with holding one leg up in the air, standing on one leg.

[15:59] And I'm willing to believe there are women out there who would do that except for the teeth brushing.

[16:04] Like maybe they're stretching in the morning like, you know, I'm naked.

[16:08] I'm doing a little yoga.

[16:10] I'm really like, you know, I'm just going to air everything out.

[16:13] And but but also to brush your teeth.

[16:15] That's multitasking gone amok.

[16:17] But even that, like there's this like there's a part where it's revealed that Al Pacino's assistant, this woman, it was me.

[16:24] I accidentally helped the killer because I got drunk and she seduced me and we made out in your office.

[16:29] It was like, wait a minute.

[16:30] I didn't even know this character was a lesbian.

[16:33] I didn't. I don't.

[16:34] It's not important, Elliot.

[16:35] But it comes out of nowhere.

[16:37] And it's one of those things where it's like that's kind of seedy, but also like how was I supposed to put two and two together on that one?

[16:44] When I don't even know I didn't even know these characters knew each other.

[16:47] It was like we don't have it.

[16:48] We haven't had a close up on a woman's panty clad ass as she hangs from the ceiling for a while.

[16:55] Let's have some casual, pointless lesbianism thrown in.

[16:59] Yeah, but also like it's like it's a movie where you can tell Lili Sobieski is the villain at the end because her hair is much more wild and disheveled than it was earlier in the film.

[17:07] I guess that's good directing.

[17:09] They did foreshadow that Lili Sobieski was a lesbian because, as you pointed out, she was dressed like Annie Hall in the class.

[17:15] I hadn't even thought of that.

[17:16] That's right. Yeah, she's she's wearing a tie and a vest and a shirt, which, of course, means if this is 1952, she must be a lesbian.

[17:24] Except for she was also in love with the killer on Death Row.

[17:28] That's true, isn't it?

[17:29] Yeah, I guess she was just playing lesbianism to get to the information she needed.

[17:36] It's never quite clear if she's in love with the killer on Death Row or if she's just enthralled to him in some way.

[17:40] It's a movie that if like if they established at the beginning of the movie that mind control and hypnotism existed in the world of 88 Minutes, the movie would make a lot more sense and would be much easier to take.

[17:50] But this movie, oh, man, a lot of style.

[17:53] It is. Wow.

[17:54] Stylistic flourishes.

[17:56] It's a movie that has a lot of cracks in the foundation of the story.

[17:58] And they said, let's plaster over this with a lot of unnecessary camera moves.

[18:03] A lot of zooming in, a lot of slow-mo.

[18:06] The best thing is that Al Pacino remembers his back story is that his young sister, when he was 28 and she was 12, which is quite a gap in ages, his young sister was murdered.

[18:17] So now he's trying to get revenge, I guess, against the idea of murder.

[18:21] But yeah, I was so angry at that long monologue because no one in movies goes into a field just because they were interested in it or they had a talent for it.

[18:33] It's all based on a childhood trauma.

[18:36] And yeah, Al Pacino's young sister was killed by a serial killer.

[18:40] So now he hunts serial killers.

[18:43] When he remembers her, his memories are shown as if, I guess, they're like 16 millimeter film from the 70s.

[18:50] There's a lot of scratches and the kind of general yellowish color filter.

[18:58] But Al Pacino's so old that he's remembering in a film stock that is no longer used.

[19:04] Yeah, well, back in that time, eight millimeter film was how people made memories.

[19:10] Yeah, it didn't help that they showed a picture that's supposed to be him with his sister when he was young.

[19:15] And it's like they used a picture of young Al Pacino.

[19:18] And it's like, oh, that's what he looked like when he made good movies.

[19:21] Yeah, that's what he looked like when he made Serpico and Dog Day Afternoon.

[19:25] Oh, sorry. Oh, and also he likes driving his own car for some reason.

[19:29] His car gets blown up and he goes up to a cab driver and he goes, listen, I want to drive your cab across town.

[19:35] I'll give you one hundred dollars. And then the rest of the movie is him driving his cab driver, driving this cab around while the cab driver sits in the backseat.

[19:43] Yeah. And you wonder, like, you know, if he's going to pay, if he's going to rent the cab, he can just pay the cab driver.

[19:49] Like, why does he need to be in charge? It's not like he's even driving like super fast.

[19:52] No, like the cab driver's like, I'm not going to break the law.

[19:56] I'm fine. I'll rent the cab. You get in the back.

[19:58] And no, he just.

[20:00] Driving sensibly around town and and more than that. There's a scene towards the end my wife pointed out

[20:06] There's a scene where he's sitting at a red light and it turns green and he's like all the cars go around him because he's transfixed

[20:12] He's putting the pieces together. He's looking at a file

[20:14] He's making some sort of revelation that I actually could not follow what he was something about someone using an alias for something

[20:21] Yeah, but there's clearly just him alone in the car and there's no one in the backseat

[20:25] Drives to the rendezvous rendezvous with the killer and he he runs out and the cab driver gets out of the back

[20:39] In the back

[20:41] What would be like to drive around in the trunk of this thing as long as you're gonna take over

[20:45] Heck seems like a good time

[20:48] it's there's another character in it who is Al Pacino's I guess police contact who is

[20:54] It's one of those things where it's like I'm gonna have to arrest you your fingerprints and DNA are all over the bodies

[20:59] You've got access and motive, you know, everyone who was killed

[21:02] We found your belongings on the scene of the crime and your signature

[21:06] Wait, no

[21:07] And your semen were it was in her vaginal canal and your semen was in her vaginal canal and Al Pacino goes

[21:13] Don't you see it's a frame-up. Give me ten minutes and the guy goes, okay, it's elementary police work

[21:20] It's classic frame they teach us they teach us at the Academy if it looks like an airtight case

[21:26] There's probably a problem with it

[21:28] So give the guy extra time and it also it's implied

[21:32] I guess that Al Pacino was set up to have sex with a woman then they killed her

[21:36] Removed his semen from her body and injected it into another dead body to implicate her at him in that murder, too

[21:42] Yeah murders. He's like two murders for the price of one semen. This is this is something that's brought up

[21:48] Almost casually in conversation and then dropped and it's such a horrific idea

[21:52] I'm just like there's something so disgusting about it and it's like no, let's just throw it in the script

[21:57] Well, and again, that was something that was also a development that happens like at the hour 20 minute mark

[22:02] Likewise, the audience is getting tired. We got to wake him up put some semen in there

[22:06] Well, but but he doesn't even get accused of like these murders until like the hour mark and I'm like shouldn't this have happened?

[22:13] Way earlier in the film to add a little more urgency

[22:16] I mean, I know that he's gonna be killed in 88 minutes

[22:18] Apparently that should add enough urgency, but not the way he's wandering around

[22:21] Apparently we need another show the killer stops calling him after a while

[22:25] It's almost like the movie forgets about the 88 minutes thing until yeah later on and then it just turns out that the killer

[22:32] Arranges a rendezvous with Al Pacino and then waits for the countdown to get to zero and then it's just gonna shoot him

[22:37] It's not like he's been injected with a poison that goes on

[22:41] There's no bomb set to go off in 88 minutes. It's not as you pointed out crank

[22:45] He hasn't been given a Hong Kong cocktail and his heart's gonna explode or whatever

[22:50] There's really no reason for the 88-minute deadline to be there

[22:53] Yeah

[22:53] as you pointed out like her her plan would have gone a lot easier if she just

[22:58] Warned him at the top like you got a minute slip left him alone

[23:01] And then an 80 minute mark came up and shot up

[23:04] or even

[23:06] What she really wants is a confession from him that he committed perjury and that the guy in death row is probably innocent

[23:12] But she accomplishes this through a series of mysterious

[23:15] murders and crazy clues and like her plan would have been that much harder for him to figure out and much easier for her to

[23:22] Get the information if she didn't go around murdering random people that he knew and then placing his DNA all over

[23:28] It's like she's like I'll get him arrested

[23:30] Thrown in jail, and then I'll have access to him to get this taped confession. All right, not really how worse

[23:36] Yeah, I guess that she was like, okay

[23:38] I can't just go up to him and threaten him to get this tape confession because then clearly I better spin a web of deceit

[23:45] But then he's like, but then she's like I got a discredit him implicate him as a murderer then kill him

[23:52] I don't know like it seems like it's not a well credited him as a

[23:57] Is his confession worth anything?

[23:59] Like I don't know. It's it's not it's not a mastermind plan wish Stewart was here to answer these thorny legal problems

[24:06] Yeah, I was talking about how things are

[24:08] Reiterated too much in this film like things happen twice when they could have happened once that's another issue

[24:14] I have with the climax of the film not once but twice does Lily Sobieski have

[24:20] One of the red herring characters in the film call Al Pacino and confess that she's the person

[24:28] Behind everything. She has Debra Cara Unger's character. Who's like the the Dean of the school or something?

[24:34] Who's always wearing glasses that are way down on her nose, but it's also like this is this is some school in in Seattle that

[24:42] With no ethical standards because like Al Pacino and his law students or criminal investigation students or whatever

[24:48] They're doing they go to a bar to celebrate the fact that he convicted him

[24:52] He led to a man's conviction

[24:54] But the Dean is also there and the professor and students were all drinking together and dancing and then he goes home with one

[25:00] Of them and the Dean is there like watching this

[25:03] I don't know and she's seems to have some sort of romantic anger over the whole thing

[25:06] Like it seems like a very unprofessional school

[25:09] I guess is what I'm saying if you want to take Jack Graham's class just know he will come on to you and he will

[25:15] Grab your chest as he throws you to the ground to avoid a bomb going off in the car

[25:20] Yeah, that was Alicia Witt. He was Al Pacino was very clearly groping Alicia Witt at one point it seems

[25:25] But it bothered me though like Debra Cara Unger's character

[25:29] The killer had Colin with a false confession and then she also had Alicia Witt Colin with a false confession both of them to lure

[25:36] Al Pacino to the rendezvous point. I'm like wouldn't one of suffice or even just the killer saying dr

[25:42] Jack Graham meet me at such-and-such place. You've got 10 minutes to live tick-tock because he wants to know who it is

[25:47] Like you'll go there. I will reveal myself to you

[25:51] Finally this game of cat-and-mouse

[25:54] This game of cat calls mouse and mouse runs around for a while and then goes to his apartment sits down for a little bit

[26:00] Watch his TV. Yeah

[26:01] calls into MSNBC

[26:03] to rant angrily

[26:05] They've been they put up the picture on the screen that says dr

[26:08] Jack Graham and as you said it looks like they caught him coming out of a club in the middle of the night

[26:12] Yeah, it's like it's like a photo of early Sean Penn

[26:15] That's the idea of a famous forensic psychologist. I guess is one of the things that gets me it's the same way that it's like

[26:21] Roadhouse. Well, yeah famous bouncer. Yeah

[26:24] I think Mike Nelson

[26:26] writes a thing about that like the idea of a famous bouncer is

[26:29] Doesn't make any sense in Roadhouse and the same thing here

[26:32] Like even the guy who wrote like Mindhunter and like the sounds lambs was partly based on his experiences whose name

[26:39] I don't remember at the moment like even he is not

[26:41] So famous that everybody knows his name like or that if he called into a TV show, they'd be like, oh, of course

[26:47] Well, yes the famous. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're known everywhere. This is

[26:51] Oh, well, of course, dr. Jack Graham. Oh, well come right this way, sir

[26:55] he's like

[26:56] I don't know like the way Henry Kissinger was a famous club goer and and dated lots of movie stars when he was

[27:03] Secretary of State like that, but he's a forensic psychologist. Yeah with no actual power out in the world like Henry Kissinger

[27:10] He does have a badge that I guess says the power is the ultimate advertisiac

[27:15] The doctor Kissinger stopped by for just a moment, I've got to go I enjoyed watching 88 minutes with you

[27:21] I think

[27:23] Do you think Dan it would have been easier to watch 88 minutes if we didn't know that this is a new world?

[27:27] With Barack Obama as president and we won't have to worry about movies like this anymore

[27:31] I feel like this is part of the change that we can believe in is that 88 minutes?

[27:36] There's not gonna be nothing like this again. Yeah. Well for me, it was like, okay a Barack Obama's one. Yay

[27:42] Everything's everything's wonderful and then like I'm like, oh no

[27:44] No, I have to return to my my normal life, which includes watching movies like 88 minutes on purpose

[27:50] I gotta tell you I was a voluntary podcast. I want to make that clear

[27:53] I was so excited about 88 minutes and

[27:56] Being as depressed about it as I am now it makes me second

[27:59] It makes me double think my excitement about our eventual watching of mr. McGorriam's Wonder Emporium

[28:04] Which is another one. I've been very excited about. Yeah, that's that's slated for

[28:09] December I'm really worried that there's gonna be a scene where

[28:12] Natalie Portman

[28:13] Confronts Dustin Hoffman about how his semen was found in a dead body in the backs in the back closet of their magical toy shop

[28:20] I want to say just one last thing about this film and that was a

[28:24] Man, so many red herrings. It is full of red herrings redhead characters, including one security

[28:31] Campus security guy named like something DeFranco. I remember yeah, and also a doorman who's just kind of goofy

[28:37] It looks like he wandered in off the set of new heart

[28:40] But the campus security is like it's like CTU on 24 like it's the most there's screens everywhere lots of like plexiglass

[28:48] smoked glass

[28:49] Partitions, but also he's talking the security guard the security guards like yeah, because they're setting up as a red herring

[28:54] He's like, yeah, I'm gonna go to the police Academy become a real cop not have to take care of these snotty college kids

[28:59] Especially these rich bitches and he's like and patinas like yeah gotta go and walks out

[29:04] It calls the police and ask them to look at this guy was like what kind of again the security guard has so much rage

[29:09] About the people the women that he has to protect. I appreciate the efficiency of that

[29:15] within two sentences

[29:17] He says something potentially incriminating like the anger comes floating to the surface even like the suspicious doorman

[29:24] They go to Al Pacino's buildings like where's so-and-so? He's doing like ah, he's not here. I'm a temp

[29:30] There was a guy came by looking for you dropped off a package it's right here didn't leave his name though

[29:36] There's no return address on this

[29:39] Like why even bother with all the with all the side? I'm surprised. They didn't make the cab driver a suspicious character

[29:46] Surprised they didn't have like his mailman come by and drop stuff off fresh director ring the mail

[29:51] I don't remember ordering though this fresh direct your name's right here on the order form. You don't want these Kiwis

[29:58] There's

[30:00] the suspiciously large eggplant

[30:04] i don't know what's in a plan of the scenario i can't wait to find out though

[30:07] in eighty eight minutes to

[30:09] a hundred and seventy six minutes the eggplant protocol

[30:13] well i forgot how

[30:14] uh... albacena he's as you mentioned while you're watching albacena's

[30:16] performance is fairly he's not overdoing it the way he does he has a

[30:20] the devil's advocate overhauling he does have some yelling scenes but they're not

[30:24] it's like he's getting angry to make sense of the end of the movie

[30:27] is like a flash of

[30:28] the albacena we've come to know and love

[30:31] he's not he's taunting the real killer on the phone and he says to my your plan

[30:35] failed and now you're gonna die and then he takes the phone and just throws it

[30:39] off the seventh floor of a building yeah it's completely unnecessary

[30:44] and you're like wait that's evidence the phone being

[30:46] the killer the lily sobieski's phone that she was using to contact the

[30:50] guy on death row yeah a piece of evidence but he just takes it throws it

[30:54] off the off the balcony here's what i think of you phone

[30:58] i hope you can hear it landing yeah and the other uh... before we move on and i

[31:02] want to uh... the uh... the weird thing about this movie is it's it's a session

[31:06] with police

[31:07] that's how i was gonna say this strange like

[31:09] pro evidence tampering stance

[31:12] because it turns out that you know yes albacena uh... tamper with the evidence to get a

[31:16] conviction that's in the alternate ending

[31:19] no but they say that in the the actual movie he makes his confession but i feel

[31:22] like it's that's under duress you don't know

[31:25] well alright i think that they're making it clear that he uh...

[31:28] or he coached a witness at least he did yeah

[31:31] he did at least something unethical to push this through and we see that the

[31:35] killer is actually the killer but then like the movie is making this

[31:38] justification like that's alright

[31:41] as long as we're sure that the killer's the killer we don't have to deal with

[31:44] the criminal justice system and i'm like

[31:47] wait but the criminal justice system is there because we cannot be sure of these things

[31:51] as long as we got jack graham watching out for us

[31:54] uh... the movie opens by the way we have to mention this in the year nineteen

[31:57] ninety seven

[31:57] and they

[31:58] they really recreate the world of that as someone who lived through nineteen

[32:02] ninety seven yeah i really this is how i remember it well which is

[32:06] a newspaper with the headline princess diana dies and a close up on the date

[32:11] nineteen ninety seven close up on the date

[32:12] one of the characters says to the other

[32:14] who would want to kill princess die

[32:16] and then uh... they go to sleep and one character's radio starts playing

[32:20] quit playing games with my heart

[32:23] with my heart

[32:25] with my heart and it was like wow we really are in nineteen ninety seven

[32:29] aren't we

[32:30] and then it goes nine years later and you know we're in

[32:32] two thousand six i guess and it was really important that they really set the time

[32:37] do you remember nineteen ninety seven when all those serial killers were running around

[32:40] well that's another thing that's great about it is like

[32:41] why nine years later it really doesn't matter

[32:45] could have been three years

[32:47] you can ask a lot of questions it's just like that two year gap in minutes

[32:52] eighty eight minutes so uh... dan are we going to do a ratings or

[32:55] yeah sure sure it's not here but uh...

[32:57] i feel confident he would say it was a bad bad movie

[32:59] is this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or a movie that you liked in some way i'm

[33:03] gonna say

[33:04] the first ten minutes

[33:06] and the last ten minutes

[33:07] were like great crazy bad movie but man there's so much just boring stuff in

[33:12] between i was i was really

[33:13] i was really encouraged by the very beginning of this movie which was just

[33:17] which is balls to the wall crazy yeah

[33:19] it it starts

[33:21] you're introduced to two characters who are sisters who live together

[33:24] all you know twin sisters twin sisters all you know about them is they're sad

[33:28] that princess diana died

[33:29] suddenly a killer arrives

[33:31] there's a there's a shot where someone

[33:33] turns around and the camera zooms towards their face as they see the killer

[33:36] then it cuts to a cat

[33:37] then it cuts to the other character

[33:39] the exact same thing

[33:40] turns around camera zooms to their face

[33:43] as they see the killer and then cuts back to the cat again

[33:46] they've each been strung up in close succession in the exact same

[33:50] sequence of shots

[33:51] what's weird though is like the killer's M.O. is that he hangs people up by

[33:54] pulleys and then he cuts them very slowly with what looks like a tiny pizza

[33:58] slicer

[33:59] but it's like

[34:00] so you have you're heavily that he drugs them then he takes a while drilling holes

[34:04] in the ceiling

[34:05] screwing in the pulley

[34:06] then he's gotta run the rope through he's gotta test the weight of the pulley

[34:10] to make sure it's gonna hold maybe he has a gotta put some anchors in just to

[34:13] make sure

[34:14] structural integrity of the ceiling has to be done right

[34:17] then he ties them up to the pulley

[34:19] then he's gotta pull them up into the air and then he's gotta set it so it holds that

[34:23] they're still in the air

[34:25] you know it's a very elaborate system speaking of M.O.'s of the killer uh... this

[34:29] reminds me the reason that it's eighty eight minutes by the way is that the

[34:32] killer

[34:32] of Al Pacino's sister said to uh... Al Pacino

[34:36] as he left after killing the sister

[34:39] it took me eighty eight minutes

[34:41] referring to the amount of time it took him to dismember her

[34:45] first of all what a weird thing to say

[34:48] as he leaves

[34:49] uh... by the way I thought you wanted to know eighty eight minutes that's how long it took

[34:53] I think he thought Al Pacino was the guy he asked to come by from guinness

[34:56] for the record of

[34:58] if it takes you eighty eight minutes to dismember a twelve-year-old uh... you're

[35:02] just a lazy killer or very weak he might have had very weak arm strength

[35:07] or he was using like a nail file

[35:08] so what were you gonna say

[35:10] uh... ignore my cats trying to knock over a lamp behind you

[35:13] I just keep worrying it's the police Seattle Slayer killer

[35:17] uh... I was gonna say it's a bad bad movie

[35:19] I'd say it's very

[35:20] poorly made and

[35:22] I'm sorry that Alicia Witt was in it because I think she's usually very

[35:25] likable

[35:26] as cute as can be

[35:28] the only thing that uh... that made it for me was uh...

[35:31] Lily Sobieski's crazy accent which is vaguely eastern european or dutch or

[35:36] irish at times or yeah someone write in and tell us uh... what that accent is

[35:41] tell us where she's from because we yes we could easily discover that information

[35:45] yeah well we're lazy we like people who... so this is the Flophouse Lily Sobieski

[35:49] where where she from contest rather than finding the information out immediately

[35:53] by using google or maybe wikipedia

[35:55] we would rather wait you know two or three weeks or if you're listening

[35:59] Lily Sobieski

[36:00] warum kommst du?

[36:02] if i remember my college german correctly where are you from

[36:05] where do you come from to be specific but let's leave her accent behind

[36:12] I don't know if I can. Tack a course bravely to the future. I'm really worried now that I'm

[36:16] gonna have a dream where Al Pacino accuses me of

[36:19] pulling his semen out of one woman and putting it into another woman

[36:23] it's an obvious frame up

[36:24] uh... man everyone has that dream though it's like being naked at school or a test

[36:29] semen

[36:29] semen Pacino dream. Or like a dream where you need to go to the bathroom but you can't find a

[36:33] private place to go

[36:36] or nuclear war that's a dream I get a lot. Do you get the nuclear war dream? No I think I think

[36:40] about it so much in my waking hours that

[36:42] my brain is tired of it by the time I go to sleep

[36:45] I used to have a dream very regularly that I was being chased by Lee Van Cleef

[36:48] from uh... for a few dollars more

[36:50] and just like chased through time like we would start out in the old west and run

[36:54] straight through into the present and then when we got to the present present

[36:58] someone would stop him and be like let him go and then I'd just leave

[37:01] this is like a great nineteen seventies tv show that you never had the chance to make

[37:06] Time Chaser? Yeah. There is a movie called Time Chaser though. It's down in Cleef

[37:12] that's what they call them. Just Cleef? Just Cleef.

[37:17] I don't think anybody ever called them that ever

[37:20] I did. Just now. Okay well

[37:22] touche

[37:23] point McCoy

[37:24] anyway uh... we should go on and make our movie recommendations which will be a

[37:29] lot shorter now that Stuart's not here

[37:31] now that we've dismembered Stuart in eighty eight minutes. Eighty eight minutes that's all it took

[37:35] Why don't you recommend something?

[37:36] well what am I going to recommend uh... I just this past Monday saw uh...

[37:42] Synecdoche, New York

[37:44] uh... Charlie Kaufman's directorial debut in feature-length film I guess

[37:49] and uh... it's gotten kind of mixed reviews I guess

[37:52] people are not

[37:54] happy with

[37:55] I don't know it's a movie where like you either like it or you don't like it but it's such a

[37:58] it's so much Charlie Kaufman's

[38:00] I assume like his personal vision on film of what he wanted the movie to be

[38:04] that you admire it. I enjoyed it a lot even though it's a really

[38:08] rough movie to sit through at times like it's a very

[38:10] you know serious bleak movie but there's some really funny parts it is like

[38:14] eighty eight minutes a movie that feels longer than it actually is

[38:18] and takes a little too long

[38:19] but I enjoyed it a lot I thought it was very good

[38:21] I read uh... one of my least favorite explanations for a movie on the

[38:26] IMDB message boards it's a movie that kind of skips forward through time very

[38:30] erratically

[38:31] IMDB message boards for people who are too stupid to watch movies

[38:36] but there's

[38:37] did you see it Dan or no?

[38:38] no I haven't seen it. I don't want to say too much there's a lot of surreal moments in it

[38:42] things that aren't super logical but make sense on a thematic or emotional level

[38:46] because it's you know it's a Charlie Kaufman movie and it's a movie what are you going to do

[38:49] and I read uh...

[38:51] one of the explanations online was

[38:54] obviously

[38:55] Philip Seymour Hoffman's character is in a coma starting from this point in the

[38:59] movie

[39:00] everything after that

[39:02] is just his imagination in the coma and replies that were like

[39:05] yeah that makes a lot of sense okay now I get it

[39:07] it's like okay well you just took

[39:09] this kind of singular artistic vision and turned it into

[39:13] a bad you know like it was all a dream yeah or like a bad psychoanalysis

[39:17] where it's like

[39:18] it's like if someone watched eight and a half like it feels like Charlie Kaufman's

[39:20] eight and a half to a certain extent

[39:22] like if you watched eight and a half and you were like

[39:25] I guess he's just someone hit him on the head and he's just remembering his

[39:28] life out of order

[39:29] that makes sense

[39:31] yeah it reminds me I saw it

[39:33] this happens actually on the IMDB message boards a lot

[39:37] I feel

[39:37] where someone puts out an explanation

[39:41] that has no real

[39:43] support

[39:44] in the text of the film yeah

[39:47] and then if people call them on it they're like

[39:50] well everyone has their own opinion and I'm like no that's not but

[39:55] you have to

[39:55] work with the materials that are given you can't just make things up it's not like I watch you know

[40:00] like the Philadelphia store and I'm like,

[40:02] these are actually earthlings who have been put in a zoo

[40:07] on Mars.

[40:07] They're working out there.

[40:09] The reason why there's such a competition

[40:11] for this one woman is because there's so few women

[40:14] on the planet.

[40:15] But it reminded me of,

[40:17] I was a big fan of Memento when it came out.

[40:19] And I remember freshman year of college,

[40:21] there was like a thing like get together and watch Memento.

[40:23] And just a couple of people showed up and was like,

[40:25] oh, this is a good way to meet people.

[40:27] And I went and we watched it

[40:30] and everyone was like, oh man,

[40:32] I'm kind of having trouble figuring out

[40:33] the plot of this thing.

[40:34] That was confusing, which is,

[40:36] people said the same thing about Synecdoche, New York.

[40:38] But it's like, if you pay attention to it,

[40:39] you will understand what's going on and it's not nonsense.

[40:42] But people were like, I don't understand.

[40:44] And this one girl goes,

[40:45] here's the way I figured a movie out.

[40:48] He's, none of the things he remembers actually happened.

[40:50] He's just a serial killer who's convinced himself

[40:53] that he's tracking down his wife's killer.

[40:55] And that's why he's killing all these people.

[40:57] And I was like, well, you just took a kind of,

[41:00] well, like interestingly done examination of what memory is

[41:03] and the nature of identity and the past

[41:05] and turned it into a very shitty serial killer movie.

[41:08] But as a college get to know you sort of event,

[41:12] it was a success because you're like,

[41:13] I don't want to be friends with this girl.

[41:15] I got to know them and I decided I didn't want

[41:16] to have anything more to do with them.

[41:17] To hell with you jerks.

[41:19] Lisa, everyone knows Memento is basically just

[41:21] a serious version of Dana Carvey's hit film,

[41:23] Blank Slate anyway, so.

[41:26] Yeah, oh man.

[41:27] Christopher Nolan, what a rip-off artist.

[41:29] What a rip-off artist.

[41:31] Carvey was the auteur.

[41:32] Plus he made that movie, Batman Begins.

[41:35] It was a total rip-off of Batman.

[41:38] Am I the only one who noticed this?

[41:39] I don't understand.

[41:40] He just added a little beginning to it.

[41:42] And then he made that movie, The Dark Knight.

[41:44] It's just a rip-off of Batman Begins.

[41:47] Way to copy yourself, Nolan.

[41:49] How many movies have you made?

[41:50] Five, six, already copying yourself?

[41:52] Whatever.

[41:53] So I would like to recommend.

[41:54] Is the movie Insomnia?

[41:56] It's a total rip-off of the book, Insomnia.

[41:58] Of the Swedish film, Insomnia.

[42:00] Oh, that's right, yeah.

[42:01] It's based on a Swedish film.

[42:03] I was about to base it on the Stephen King book, Insomnia,

[42:05] which has nothing in common with either movie, Insomnia.

[42:10] Anyway, but you were gonna recommend something.

[42:12] If you're looking for a bad film,

[42:13] which people often are if they're listening

[42:16] to The Flophouse, and you know,

[42:17] usually we recommend good movies

[42:19] during this part of the show.

[42:22] But 88 Minutes has broken your soul.

[42:25] Well, I mean, there's a difference, obviously,

[42:28] or else we wouldn't have a rating system

[42:30] between a bad movie that you have no interest in seeing

[42:32] and a bad movie that is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

[42:37] And Winter Beast is a great bad movie.

[42:40] I watched it on the day after Halloween

[42:43] with some friends who were visiting from out of town.

[42:46] And I had it because I knew it was this horror movie

[42:48] that had a reputation.

[42:50] It was released to DVD in 91,

[42:54] or I guess the release date at least in general

[42:57] is 91 on like IMDb and on the Netflix sleeve.

[43:01] But the film, every shot in it looks like

[43:04] it was like a 1960s, 1970s Yellowstone tourist postcard.

[43:10] And it really has that feel.

[43:11] There are all these like knickknacks in it.

[43:14] The set dressers like wasn't thinking,

[43:17] oh, this is gonna distract

[43:18] from the actual action of the film.

[43:20] It's like, hmm, I wonder if I can work

[43:22] a wooden Indian into this or like a velvet painting

[43:28] of a buffalo.

[43:30] And it has a bunch of stop motion in it.

[43:35] Like, and I love all like stop motion monster effects.

[43:38] And I love-

[43:41] What level stop motion is this?

[43:42] Is this Ray Harryhausen level or like Equinox level?

[43:45] I haven't seen Equinox,

[43:46] but it's certainly not Ray Harryhausen level.

[43:49] Like Ray Harryhausen level or like Phil Tippett level?

[43:52] Or more like Willis O'Brien level.

[43:53] How many stop motion animators can I name?

[43:56] Let's see.

[43:57] I watched the making of and the guy who did the stop motion

[44:00] actually did some stuff for like liquid television.

[44:02] So-

[44:03] Oh, okay.

[44:04] So is it like Henry Selleck level or,

[44:06] anyway, you were saying.

[44:07] He knows what he's doing, but it's still a terrible movie.

[44:10] And the funny thing is like there are these sequences

[44:12] where there's like a fun monster effect.

[44:17] And you're like, okay,

[44:19] this movie showed some like imagination and creativity.

[44:22] And then in between, it's just bad movie dreck,

[44:24] like Man with the Hands of Fate level of inept filmmaking

[44:29] and padding and just hilarious dialogue.

[44:32] And so if you're looking for a bad movie

[44:35] that won't disappoint you,

[44:36] as 88 Minutes did for both of us,

[44:39] I would recommend Winter Beast.

[44:40] Mr. McGoriam better be good in a bad way.

[44:43] I'd like to note for the audience

[44:44] that Elliot is currently putting his shoes on.

[44:47] He can't wait to get out of here so much.

[44:50] Listen, 88 Minutes has tainted this for me.

[44:52] He's putting his shoes back on as we were still on the air.

[44:55] I'm tired, okay?

[44:57] That's fine.

[44:57] I had to stay up late at work last night.

[44:59] And then I had to go to a party with the cast of 30 Rock

[45:01] and I didn't get to talk to any of them.

[45:03] Jesus.

[45:04] It was, I was at a bit, I told you-

[45:05] Quit lording your glamorous life over me, Kalen.

[45:08] Man, the Comedy Central party.

[45:09] 30 Rock was there.

[45:10] Gina Gershon was there.

[45:11] I saw her in person.

[45:13] Who else was there?

[45:13] I apparently got there too late to meet Padma from Top Chef

[45:17] or Padma from Star Wars.

[45:21] Who else was there?

[45:22] I'm over here desperately seeking my brain

[45:24] to think of something that might be impressive to say.

[45:26] And I have nothing.

[45:27] No, no, I'm sure,

[45:28] well, you said you had an open house

[45:29] for grad students today at your office.

[45:30] What was that all like?

[45:31] What was that like?

[45:32] I'm gonna punch you as soon as we get off the air.

[45:35] So there's no proof.

[45:38] Maybe I'll edit this part out.

[45:39] Nah, I'll just leave it in.

[45:41] Well, anyway, in the absence of Stuart-

[45:44] Yeah, where is Stuart anyway?

[45:45] He is in, I believe, Hotlanta, Georgia,

[45:49] teaching people how to paint toy soldiers

[45:52] or something like that.

[45:54] You don't really know what he does.

[45:55] He trains people.

[45:56] They send him all over to train people,

[45:58] which to me is hilarious

[45:59] because I know that he's actually good at his job,

[46:01] but-

[46:02] They gave him an award.

[46:03] Yeah, but all I can think of when I think of Stuart

[46:05] is him shambling into the apartment

[46:08] with like a tall boy of Coors Light.

[46:10] And then changing into a tiny bathing suit.

[46:12] Yeah, in the middle of the flop house,

[46:16] just emerging from the bathroom in a Speedo.

[46:20] We miss you, Stuart, I guess is what we're trying to say.

[46:22] Is he wearing his formal scorpion buckle belt?

[46:26] I think so, I think so, yeah.

[46:28] What a great guy.

[46:29] Like, this is not as fun-

[46:30] Let's call him right now.

[46:31] No, let's go home instead.

[46:32] But it is, but hopefully he'll be here next time

[46:37] for Mr. Magorium.

[46:38] We're not even gonna do that next time, probably.

[46:41] I think we're gonna do 27 Dresses.

[46:43] Awesome, you know what?

[46:44] Let's just do a string of movies

[46:45] with numbers in the title.

[46:47] 88 Minutes, 27 Dresses, 30 Miles to Graceland.

[46:51] What else is there?

[46:52] Come on, we can name some more.

[46:54] Too Fast, Too Furious.

[46:58] Seven Voyages of Sin, that's a good movie.

[47:02] No, that's a good, well,

[47:03] it's a movie with good effects in it.

[47:05] Like Winter Beast.

[47:07] Go on, 30 Days of Night.

[47:09] I'm thinking of so many good movies

[47:10] with numbers in the titles.

[47:12] You got nothing.

[47:13] 21, that movie about Blackjack.

[47:17] Actually, yeah, that would be a pretty good one for this.

[47:20] Because they took a true story,

[47:22] made everyone in it much more attractive.

[47:24] And much less Asian.

[47:25] They're like, the actual guy was like an Asian-American,

[47:28] and they're like, nah.

[47:29] Oh, I didn't know that.

[47:30] This is a Hollywood film.

[47:32] Caucasian all the way.

[47:34] Caucasian is kind of like Asian.

[47:36] Now after Barack Obama's president,

[47:38] that's all gonna change.

[47:39] Well, this is, my friend Matt Pack has a joke

[47:42] in his standard routine where it says,

[47:44] the people who hate Barack Obama the most

[47:46] are movie producers because now,

[47:48] how are they gonna let you know

[47:49] that a movie is taking place in the future?

[47:51] Used to be the shorthand for that was black president.

[47:54] But now we're at that point.

[47:56] That was the thing.

[47:57] Chris Rock's head of state is no longer funny.

[48:00] Oh yeah, because before it was hilarious.

[48:03] Well, for other reasons, it's not funny.

[48:05] But that's what's so great is like,

[48:07] people are always like, where's my flying cars?

[48:09] Where is it supposed to be in the future?

[48:11] We've got a black president coming up soon.

[48:13] And CNN had holograms on its newscast the other day.

[48:17] We're living in the future that was promised to us.

[48:19] And it's not the Blade Runner bad future

[48:21] where it's always rainy all the time.

[48:22] And what's his name from Deadwood

[48:24] and New Heart is aging too fast.

[48:26] 88 minutes.

[48:27] On that note, let's sign off.

[48:30] I'm Dan McCoy.

[48:31] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[48:33] I'm Cheryl Wellington.

[48:35] Good night.

[48:38] I've lost my will to live.

[48:40] I want to do five games.

[48:42] Fuck up, Dan.

[48:43] We can do this.

[48:44] Don't let 88 minutes be the one that breaks you.

[48:46] I think it's Stuart's absence.

[48:47] Yeah, it kind of hurts me sad.

[48:51] Hello, everyone.

The Flop House: Episode #26 - 88 Minutes

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