The Flop House Movie Minute #20 - Pool Cleaning

Dan McCoy

[0:00] And now, the Flophouse Movie Minute.

[0:09] We are posting this Flophouse Movie Minute a little early in order to help you win big at your Oscar party

[0:15] by picking the best picture winner by the only scientific means available.

[0:21] Anagrams.

[0:23] It has been proven that the title with the awesomest anagram always wins,

[0:27] which was confirmed by last year's win by No Country for Old Men,

[0:32] a.k.a. Fry Monocled Nun Root.

[0:36] So let's apply the anagram system to this year's crop of nominees.

[0:41] First off is milk.

[0:43] The only anagram for milk is milk, and that's barely an anagram at all,

[0:48] so we can discard it as a contender.

[0:51] Next up, the reader.

[0:53] The best anagram for the reader is earth deer.

[0:57] Which has a certain poetic, imagist, William Carlos Williams quality, but lacks snap.

[1:04] We can safely bet against the reader.

[1:08] Frost Nixon is slightly more promising.

[1:10] Its letters rearrange into snort no fix, which is clearly an anti-cocaine statement.

[1:17] While the Academy typically rewards message films,

[1:20] usually they like messages that bludgeon you in the most overt way possible,

[1:25] rather than ones subtly hidden in the letters of the movie's title.

[1:29] Thus, we can eliminate Frost Nixon.

[1:31] Now we get down to the real contenders.

[1:34] Slumdog Millionaire provides us with a veritable cornucopia of riches.

[1:38] A million sumo girdle.

[1:40] A limo oil mudslinger.

[1:44] A modeling oil is rum, just to name three.

[1:48] The last of which has the advantage of being a complete sentence, albeit an enigmatic one.

[1:54] Slumdog Millionaire may be a contender.

[1:57] However, the curious case of Benjamin Button reigns supreme in the anagram wars,

[2:03] yielding,

[2:04] A fusion barbecue conjoins the mutt.

[2:07] Not only is it a complete sentence, but the image is vivid.

[2:12] A nuclear-powered cookout resulting in a hideous Siamese twin canine.

[2:18] The Academy can hardly fail to sit up and take notice of such a horrifying anagram.

[2:23] So if you want to come out on top in your Oscar pool,

[2:26] bet the bank on Benjamin Button.

[2:29] As we say in the Oscar anagram business,

[2:32] ship a dialectic pin.

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