The Flop House Movie Minute #21 - Who Watches the Watchmen's Penises

[0:00] And now, the Flophouse Movie Minute.

[0:10] So Elliot, you got to go to a special screening of Watchmen recently, is that correct?

[0:15] That is indeed correct.

[0:17] I got to go to a special industry screening set up for industry people in the entertainment

[0:22] industry, particularly the television industry.

[0:25] They have these screenings all over New York for reviewers or people who are booking guests

[0:31] for television shows.

[0:33] And I luckily got to go to this one for Watchmen at the Warner Brothers screening room the

[0:37] Sunday before the Friday that it opened.

[0:39] So I got like a five day jump on everybody and I was all like, ah, this is what they

[0:43] cut out of the movie.

[0:44] And no one wanted to hear what I had to say about it.

[0:46] But since it was an industry screening, it's a fairly small theater, it was just me and

[0:50] a couple other people from work and Jimmy Fallon and Whoopi Goldberg.

[0:54] And so it was maybe the strangest audience I've ever been in for anything.

[0:58] Mostly, it was like seeing it at any movie theater where there's almost no one in the

[1:01] theater.

[1:02] You're just sitting back and enjoying the experience of a three hour superhero movie

[1:06] with extra gore and stuff like that.

[1:09] But as everyone knows, the character of Dr. Manhattan, played by Billy Crudup, is nude

[1:13] through most of the story.

[1:15] And whereas in the comic book, this is kind of tastefully portrayed, his genitals are

[1:19] not emphasized, oftentimes they're out of the frame.

[1:22] In the movie, it's almost like they're going out of their way to make sure you see his

[1:24] penis as much as possible.

[1:26] It's pretty big and I don't understand, unless they had motion sensors on Billy Crudup's

[1:31] actual penis, I don't know why there's so much movement of the penis.

[1:35] Kind of every time he steps, his penis waggles around or flops around and in the scene where

[1:40] there's three of him at once, there's three penises at once on screen and they're all

[1:44] equally floppy.

[1:45] But the best thing about seeing that in this particular screening was that the first time

[1:49] it came on, Whoopi Goldberg, who I imagine was not familiar with the source material,

[1:53] probably not a big Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons fan, wasn't following Promethea from first

[1:58] issue to last or the originals or anything like that.

[2:01] First time Dr. Manhattan's penis was on screen, she said very loudly, that's a big blue penis!

[2:06] And then every single time the penis appeared on screen from that point on, she would laugh

[2:10] very loudly and just couldn't get enough of the novelty of this giant blue penis that

[2:15] was on screen for much of the movie.

[2:17] The penis should get fairly high billing.

[2:19] It has more screen time than Hollis Mason, the First Night Owl, or the two cops who were

[2:25] investigating the comedian's murder, or the news vendor.

[2:29] Many of the characters we love from Watchmen have less screen time than this penis, but

[2:32] every time she just couldn't get enough of it, she would just laugh every time.

[2:36] And at the end of it, we were walking out at the same time she was, and she was getting

[2:40] into a van, which I thought, it looked like she was being kidnapped or something.

[2:44] But she said to us, tell them they have to cut it a little bit, make it a little shorter.

[2:48] And everyone had the same thought at the same time, did she mean the movie or the penis?

[2:53] And to this day, we'll never know.

[2:54] Whoopi will take that information to her grave with her.

The Flop House Movie Minute #21 - Who Watches the Watchmen's Penises

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