FH Mini #121 - Hi, Resolutions!

[0:00] Hi, floppers, before we start this episode,

[0:02] I just wanted to remind you,

[0:03] we are in the middle of Flop TV season two.

[0:06] That's right, the one hour internet televised

[0:08] Flophouse TV show is here for you

[0:11] the first Saturday of every month through February.

[0:14] Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com

[0:17] and get your tickets or season pass

[0:19] for this all new Flophouse TV stuff.

[0:22] We're covering movies we've never covered before,

[0:24] we've got video segments, it's amazing.

[0:27] Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com

[0:29] for Flop TV season two.

[0:31] This time, it's personal.

[0:33] Hello, everybody.

[0:38] Welcome to another Flophouse mini.

[0:41] That's right, here at the Flophouse podcast,

[0:43] we often watch a bad movie and then talk about it.

[0:45] But every other week, we do other stuff,

[0:48] sometimes movie related, sometimes not movie related.

[0:52] Which kind is it this week?

[0:53] I guess you'll have to listen to find out.

[0:55] My name is Elliot Kalin and I want to apologize

[0:58] if the audio that you're hearing from me is not great.

[1:01] As talked about in our previous episode,

[1:03] Joker Follier Ducks, I am currently not at my home

[1:08] because of the Los Angeles fire situation.

[1:10] I am safe, my family is safe, thank you very much.

[1:13] If you would like to donate to any of the organizations

[1:15] that are taking care of people

[1:16] who are affected by the fires, please do so.

[1:19] I will not see that money because I don't need it.

[1:21] Thankfully, knock on wood, I'm very lucky in this case,

[1:24] but other people need it, so please do that.

[1:26] But let's talk about other things this time

[1:28] because it's two weeks hopefully after those fires

[1:30] when you're listening to this

[1:31] and I'm joined by two great guys,

[1:34] one for each of those weeks.

[1:36] Guys, why don't you introduce yourselves?

[1:38] I'm Dan McCoy and for the second week,

[1:41] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:42] Great, I actually meant the guys behind you,

[1:44] but we can do it with you.

[1:45] Yeah, that's fine, we can do it with you.

[1:46] Okay, yeah.

[1:47] No, no, Dan and Stuart are the great guys

[1:49] I'm talking about and you know what?

[1:51] I should be more sincere in my appreciation of them

[1:57] because that's the kind of thing

[1:58] you might make a New Year's resolution about

[1:59] is to express to the people you love that you do love them

[2:02] rather than just making mean jokes about them,

[2:05] which is another way to show love sometimes,

[2:07] but they have to know that that's the case.

[2:09] Ah, yeah, yeah.

[2:09] And I mentioned New Year's resolutions because that's-

[2:10] Like a roast.

[2:11] Oh, it's been love.

[2:12] Like a roast.

[2:13] Exactly.

[2:14] Have you ever seen a roast, right?

[2:15] It's delicious.

[2:16] It is delicious.

[2:16] You leave it in the oven for a long time.

[2:18] You got to, you got to.

[2:19] Just like a roast joke,

[2:20] it has to take a very long time to tell it

[2:23] and then the one time the person gets it-

[2:23] And then that one guy, Jeff, what's his name,

[2:25] he shows up and eats it

[2:26] because he's the Roastmaster General.

[2:28] Yeah, that one guy, Jeff.

[2:31] I know that Jeff can talk about it.

[2:32] What's his name?

[2:33] Jeff Ross.

[2:34] Jeff Ross, yeah.

[2:35] So I'm talking about New Year's resolutions

[2:36] because it is January, I think,

[2:38] when this episode is coming out.

[2:39] Maybe it's not anymore, I don't care.

[2:41] It's January when we're recording it

[2:42] and I'm talking about New Year's resolutions today,

[2:45] the start of the year when everyone decides

[2:47] to do something to make themselves better

[2:49] or, as is often the case nowadays,

[2:51] the world decides what it's going to do

[2:53] to make itself worse throughout the year.

[2:55] Guys, let's talk about positive New Year's resolutions.

[2:57] Do you have any New Year's resolutions this year?

[3:01] Well, here's a thing that I heard recently

[3:03] that I agree with, which is it's probably,

[3:07] like, New Year's resolutions are a good way

[3:09] to set yourself up for failure if you're like,

[3:12] oh, I'm going to do, like, this whole new thing.

[3:14] I'm going to change-

[3:15] I'm going to change my life.

[3:16] Yeah, it's not going to happen that way.

[3:17] I'm going to eat, I'm going to pray,

[3:18] I'm going to love this year.

[3:21] That's three things, which is too many things for one year.

[3:22] Choose one.

[3:24] The thing that I heard suggested,

[3:27] and I think maybe this was, like,

[3:28] a New York Times wellness thing,

[3:29] who knows where I got this,

[3:31] but it was, like, double down on, like,

[3:33] the things you've identified that you think

[3:35] are positive that you've started to do.

[3:38] So I'm going to double down on, like,

[3:41] I'm going to try, keep up going to yoga.

[3:44] I'm going to try, keep avoiding reading the internet

[3:49] when it's making me sad and angry at the world.

[3:53] Jane, real quick, can you stretch your arms

[3:54] out super long yet, or is that not the stage

[3:56] you'd like to be at?

[3:57] I'm not there quite yet.

[3:59] But his teacher, Dulceum, says that he's getting there.

[4:01] Oh, wow.

[4:02] I'm going to continue to read more,

[4:04] and I'm going to continue to, like,

[4:05] figure out strategies to, you know,

[4:08] like, make myself more organized,

[4:10] like, set deadlines for myself, make more lists, et cetera.

[4:14] Those are kind of the things I'm going to double down on.

[4:16] That sounds great.

[4:17] Stuart, what about you?

[4:18] What are you going to double down on?

[4:19] I mean, I didn't know that-

[4:21] I thought this was a resolutions thing,

[4:22] not a double-down thing.

[4:24] Okay, what are you going to resolve to do?

[4:25] It's actually a double-dare thing.

[4:26] Well, let's see.

[4:27] I don't know.

[4:28] He gets more run in his nose.

[4:30] You've got to pull a flag out of those boogers.

[4:34] I think that, let's see.

[4:38] I mean, the big thing for me is I,

[4:41] the start of the year has been really stressful

[4:44] for work-related reasons.

[4:46] So I'm hoping that I can get on top of that

[4:49] a little better, and also I've been struggling

[4:54] with some upper respiratory stuff,

[4:56] and that between those two things,

[4:58] it's kind of messed up my gym schedule,

[5:01] and I'd like to get back into a consistent,

[5:03] get my gym schedule back on track,

[5:06] not for any reason other than

[5:08] it just makes my brain feel better.

[5:10] How's your tanning and laundry doing?

[5:12] Oh, Dan, my laundry game's on point.

[5:15] Tanning, I haven't been to a tanning,

[5:18] I went to a tanning booth a couple times

[5:20] before I went to Australia last year,

[5:22] and I still have a tan line from like

[5:26] a little like bikini-sized tan line.

[5:28] It's pretty funny.

[5:29] I would have a doctor look at that.

[5:31] That doesn't sound right.

[5:32] Uh-huh, well, I don't know.

[5:34] I mean, a lot of people look at it,

[5:35] but they have to pay a premium price for that.

[5:39] I would be surprised if you went to a tanning booth

[5:41] and they're like, oh, we don't know how to tan.

[5:43] Just tattoo this line on him,

[5:45] and then you have a tattoo of a tan line

[5:47] and you don't know.

[5:48] Uh-huh, but the other thing is I have a goal

[5:52] that I'd like to take my mom on a vacation.

[5:55] Oh, that's very sweet.

[5:55] That's very nice.

[5:57] For New Year's this year, my goal is to try to work less,

[6:01] to make work less the core of my life.

[6:04] Yeah.

[6:04] Make things like my family and taking care of my health

[6:07] more the core of my life,

[6:08] because too often in the choice between getting work done

[6:11] or being, or taking care of myself,

[6:12] I choose the work one, and it's not good for me.

[6:17] That being said, this is a podcast about movies, guys.

[6:20] It's not like a wellness podcast,

[6:22] and so I want, it's not even a Road to Wellville podcast.

[6:25] Yeah, the Wellington podcast.

[6:27] That's true.

[6:27] That's a Wellington podcast.

[6:28] At least a third of it.

[6:29] And then we always talk about that guy,

[6:31] that crazy general who probably took Napoleon down.

[6:34] Yeah, I have a good name.

[6:37] I could be like a wellness fucking guru.

[6:40] Yeah, you should.

[6:41] Wellness of Wellington.

[6:41] Yeah, Wellness of Wellington, you should do that.

[6:43] All I should do is say,

[6:45] I just have to be really confident

[6:47] when I make my social media,

[6:48] my forward-facing social media videos.

[6:51] Yeah.

[6:51] Yeah, that's the main problem with your videos,

[6:53] is not enough confidence.

[6:55] Oh man, apparently I'm taking some of the heat

[6:59] that he was previously directing in Elliot.

[7:03] Everyone gets a turn.

[7:05] Yeah, Dan is like the wheel of fate.

[7:09] I got some fucking splash damage on that one.

[7:12] I was trying to think if there are any movies

[7:14] about New Year's resolutions.

[7:16] And at the time I was putting this together,

[7:19] I was in the middle of fleeing from a natural disaster,

[7:22] so I wasn't able to do much research.

[7:24] And so I was trying to think,

[7:25] the only one that came to mind,

[7:26] and I can't remember if it's a New Year's movie or not,

[7:28] is what, Yes Man with Jim Carrey,

[7:30] the one where he says yes to everything.

[7:31] But that might not be a New Year's resolution.

[7:33] That might just be a thing that he decides.

[7:35] Yeah, that he decides to do.

[7:36] What about the mask?

[7:37] Is that a New Year's resolution?

[7:39] That he's gonna wear the mask more?

[7:40] I have to be zanier.

[7:42] Yeah, it's dumb and dumber, a New Year's movie.

[7:44] They're like, we need to be not just dumb, but dumber.

[7:47] What about that movie, is it Resolution?

[7:49] The one where they're at a dinner party for New Year's

[7:51] and a comet's passing super close,

[7:53] or a meteor's passing close, and they like.

[7:55] Oh, I think you're thinking, is that Coherence?

[7:58] Coherence, the one with the alternate dimension stuff.

[7:59] I think Resolution is a movie, but I'm not sure what it is.

[8:03] Maybe a movie about photography.

[8:05] I don't know, does the movie,

[8:06] we never did New Year's Eve for the podcast,

[8:08] which surprised me when looking back recently

[8:10] that we didn't do it.

[8:12] I think we didn't do it on purpose

[8:13] because none of us wanted to watch it,

[8:14] but we probably should have done it, yeah.

[8:16] Oh, no, I think I recommended this one.

[8:19] Resolution is from, what's the Benson

[8:23] and Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead.

[8:26] It's their movie about a friend basically tying

[8:30] another friend up in a cabin in the woods

[8:32] so that the pigs wean.

[8:33] I saw the movie that came after that

[8:35] that sort of was related by, did you see that one?

[8:37] I don't think I've seen any of those movies.

[8:39] So those are not New Year's resolution movies, right?

[8:42] Okay, well, we have done no research.

[8:44] We haven't come up with any.

[8:46] We could easily look now on the computer,

[8:48] but I think instead I'd like to talk about something else,

[8:50] which is New Year's resolutions

[8:53] for things related to movies.

[8:55] So not movies about New Year's resolutions.

[8:56] We've failed abysmally at that.

[8:58] And for next year, our resolution can be

[9:00] to learn a couple movies that involve New Year's resolutions.

[9:03] There's gotta be a rom-com with a New Year's resolution.

[9:05] There's got to be.

[9:06] Either where-

[9:07] Hey, listeners, write in.

[9:09] One, two, three, Flop Street.

[9:12] We are too lazy to do the work ourselves.

[9:14] You write in.

[9:14] Just write to Dan's home address.

[9:16] Let me get it right here.

[9:17] Hold on.

[9:18] Which is-

[9:20] Oh.

[9:21] It's doing-

[9:24] So let's think about some New Year's resolutions

[9:26] for movie franchises.

[9:28] These movie franchises, they have their ups,

[9:30] they have their downs.

[9:31] They're kind of like self-aware, sentient people

[9:33] at this time.

[9:34] And they could really have some restarts right now.

[9:37] So if we were one of these New Year's resolutions,

[9:39] one of these movie franchises,

[9:42] what would the New Year's resolution for that franchise be?

[9:43] That's something I want to talk about with you today

[9:45] on an episode of The Flophouse.

[9:47] I'm calling The American Resolution.

[9:51] Oh, okay.

[9:52] The Resolutionary War.

[9:54] Oh yeah, that's even better.

[9:55] You know what, let's call it,

[9:56] except I don't like that war aspect of it.

[9:58] Let's call it The Resolutionary-

[10:00] Is that a thing?

[10:01] Yeah.

[10:02] Yeah.

[10:03] OK.

[10:04] You know what?

[10:05] It's called Dance Dance Resolutions.

[10:06] It's called Dance Dance Resolutions.

[10:07] You know.

[10:08] So let's start with the biggest franchise of them all.

[10:09] It's got three letters.

[10:11] Gimme an M. Gimme a C. Gimme a U. That spells McHugh, which is the name of the Marvel universe.

[10:19] And so what would the MCU's New Year's resolution be?

[10:25] I mean, probably to release a movie.

[10:28] They haven't done one in a while, right?

[10:30] When was the last movie?

[10:32] I do.

[10:33] Well, I, I feel like they are holding firm to the thing that would have been the resolution

[10:41] I recommend.

[10:42] Which is do less stuff.

[10:44] Do less stuff.

[10:45] Yes.

[10:46] I know they've got that Captain America movie coming out.

[10:47] I thought you were saying, you're saying more Kang.

[10:51] You did say, Dan, you did say more Kang, but only if a specific actor was playing it.

[10:55] You know who was.

[10:56] No.

[10:57] Paul Giamatti.

[10:58] Kevin Spacey.

[10:59] We went two different directions there, Stu.

[11:02] Yeah.

[11:03] It was Paul Giamatti.

[11:04] Yeah.

[11:05] Well, I do feel like.

[11:06] How great would Paul Giamatti be as Kang?

[11:07] He'd be so fucking good.

[11:08] He would be fantastic as Kang.

[11:10] You know, bringing up Kang sort of points to the thing that I probably would say.

[11:14] Oh, the Katherine Hepburn movie bringing up Kang?

[11:19] I think that they tried to jump right into the idea of like, let's rebuild another giant

[11:27] arc with a giant villain.

[11:29] And like, look, you know, I I'll be interested in whether they can pull that off again, maybe

[11:36] in the future.

[11:37] But I don't think that that's the right move right after going through Endgame and Infinity

[11:43] War and whatnot.

[11:44] I feel like I would like to see a few more things that just kind of exist on their own

[11:49] that aren't so heavily interconnected.

[11:51] I really enjoyed the Agatha All Along series because I felt like it stood on its own feet.

[11:56] Even though, wasn't that like, didn't that come out of.

[11:59] It came out of WandaVision, but it wasn't.

[12:02] WandaVillain and WandaVision.

[12:03] Yeah.

[12:05] It doesn't feel like it necessarily has a lot to do with other MCUs.

[12:09] I know.

[12:10] I saw Billboard.

[12:11] There's like a new Captain America movie came out where someone is punching his shield,

[12:14] but I don't know anything else about it.

[12:17] I think it's a Red Hulk.

[12:18] Harrison Ford.

[12:19] Oh, it is a Red Hulk.

[12:21] I heard it was a Red Hulk.

[12:23] I did not like that the the lag time between something being introduced in the comics and

[12:27] it being in the movies and TV shows has gotten so short in a way that is uncomfortable to

[12:32] me, where it used to be like only the most famous superheroes got movies.

[12:36] They had to be around for decades.

[12:38] And then suddenly you got Red Hulks showing up and things.

[12:41] How recent is Red Hulk?

[12:43] I mean, like 10 years ago still, but, you know, it's something like that.

[12:46] It's really important to Elliott that the established hierarchy of things stays in place.

[12:50] Yes.

[12:51] Thank you.

[12:53] Where is my Dark Hawk movie?

[12:55] He's been around for way more years than Red Hulk.

[12:57] Dark Hawk and Sleepwalker?

[12:58] Please.

[12:59] Yeah, please.

[13:00] The Rookies of 1991, I think it was.

[13:02] Where's my New Warriors movie?

[13:03] Come on.

[13:04] Give me that.

[13:05] I mean, they tried to make a New Warriors TV show, and it didn't.

[13:07] And if you want to make some for adults, do Old Warriors first.

[13:10] Yeah, do like Johnny Blaze and the Rise of the Midnight Suns or whatever.

[13:13] Come on, baby.

[13:14] Yes, please.

[13:15] Thank you.

[13:16] I mean, they're doing Blade.

[13:17] That's a perfect time to get some more Midnight Suns in there.

[13:18] Aren't they?

[13:19] I thought like.

[13:20] I mean, they did Morbius, I guess.

[13:21] They keep pushing it.

[13:22] Blade is the.

[13:24] Dog, a Blade movie is so easy.

[13:26] Like, you do a vampire rave.

[13:28] Yes.

[13:29] You give them a sick-ass katana and a trench coat.

[13:31] Yes.

[13:32] That's a movie.

[13:33] That's a movie.

[13:34] I feel like Mahershala Ali being like, I want to do Blade kind of cursed it just because.

[13:39] I mean, like, I think it would be great.

[13:40] I would love it.

[13:41] He's a great actor, but I think that suddenly they got the yips and they're like, oh, it's

[13:45] going to be classy now, you know, whereas like a Blade movie doesn't need to be.

[13:49] When I bet I bet you he doesn't want to be that classy if I'm him.

[13:52] Yeah, he wants he does.

[13:53] It's like there's when you see sometimes there's actors who do like a big action movie or a

[13:58] dumb action movie and people are like, oh, look at them slumming.

[14:00] And it's like, I don't know.

[14:01] I bet there's a part of Cate Blanchett that loves the idea of being a movie where she's

[14:04] like shooting robots and bounty hunters and stuff like that.

[14:07] I guess when there's that scene in Return of the Jedi, when Luke Skywalker is in the

[14:12] Rancor's fist and I read something Luke Skywalker was like where Mark Hamill was like, that's

[14:17] why you do these.

[14:18] Like, that's what I've always wanted to do.

[14:19] Yeah.

[14:20] I'm in a giant monster's fist.

[14:21] And again, not to bring up Paul Giamatti again, but it's like the conversation he had with

[14:26] his agent when he was in the Planet of the Apes movie and his agent's like, shouldn't

[14:29] you be a character that you can see their face?

[14:32] And he's like, Rick Baker is doing these makeup.

[14:35] He's like, if I'm a Planet of the Apes movie, I want to be an ape.

[14:40] Just like the Nirvana song.

[14:41] Ape me, my friends.

[14:43] Your friend in that case is Rick Baker.

[14:46] Yeah.

[14:47] Oh, man.

[14:48] What I wouldn't give.

[14:49] So the MCU, they're already living out the resolution, which is slow it down.

[14:53] Maybe not so much stuff.

[14:54] Now, what about the DCU or DICU, which is the detective comics universe, so-called because

[15:01] it relies on detective stories and mysteries, mostly.

[15:05] Detective Chimp, Slam Bradley, all the big detective characters.

[15:10] Booster Gold's a detective, right?

[15:12] What about the question?

[15:13] The question is kind of a detective, although he's really more of an Ayn Randian figure.

[15:19] What about Zatanna?

[15:20] Is that her name?

[15:21] What's her name?

[15:22] She's not a detective.

[15:23] She's a magician.

[15:24] Yeah.

[15:25] So she's a magician with the most easily crackable magic code, which is just saying things backwards.

[15:30] Oh.

[15:31] What would be your New Year's resolution for the DCU and the people in charge thereof?

[15:35] They got that new Superman movie coming out.

[15:37] My resolution would have been make a movie that just has one character in it.

[15:41] They've already broken that because there's a ton of other characters in the Superman movie.

[15:45] I mean, I think that-

[15:46] By which I mean super-powered characters.

[15:48] Obviously, I don't want a Superman movie where it's just one character, Superman, by himself

[15:52] in space talking to himself.

[15:54] I mean, I want non-powered characters in there.

[15:56] I don't want crap-slash-tape starring Superman.

[15:59] That's not what I'm looking for.

[16:00] Yeah.

[16:01] Well, I feel like the right actor could pull it off.

[16:04] Yeah.

[16:05] It's hard to know-

[16:06] Look, if Jefferson is going to do a Superman movie, then it should just be him.

[16:09] I saw him in I Am My Own Wife.

[16:10] He was amazing.

[16:11] Yeah.

[16:12] It's hard to know what to recommend because the DCU is sort of under new management now.

[16:16] You don't know where it's going quite yet to even make a recommendation.

[16:21] But I would say I like James Gunn a lot.

[16:26] I liked him before he did Guardians of the Galaxy.

[16:30] I liked Slither.

[16:32] I liked Tromeo and Juliet.

[16:34] I enjoy his stuff, and I think he certainly probably has a wider range than he has shown.

[16:44] I mean, the man wrote a Scooby-Doo movie or maybe both of them.

[16:48] I'm not sure.

[16:49] And it looks like Superman shows that range, but I am a little nervous.

[16:55] For DCU, he's done Suicide Squad, Peacemaker, Creature Commandos, which are all kind of in that same vibe.

[17:06] I guess my resolution is make sure that the vibe shifts.

[17:11] That the Superman vibe should not be the same as the Suicide Squad vibe.

[17:14] Yeah.

[17:15] Yeah.

[17:16] Yeah.

[17:17] Yeah.

[17:18] For DC, I don't know that DC's stable that well, but there's a character that –

[17:24] there's something – there's a character I really liked.

[17:27] Power Girl, I think.

[17:29] There's something about her.

[17:32] I wonder what it is about Power Girl that draws short attention.

[17:36] And obviously Lobo.

[17:37] All Lobo stuff.

[17:38] Sure.

[17:40] You're like, I want DC to start cranking out their hit characters.

[17:44] Lobo, Power Girl, Etrigan, Commandee.

[17:47] Man, yeah.

[17:48] Heck yeah.

[17:49] There was – yeah.

[17:50] I mean, I like – like I'm a sucker for all the weirdo DC characters.

[17:55] I like all the weird characters and I also like – who's the – oh, I like All-Star Superman.

[18:03] So if the Superman movies like All-Star Superman, I'll be okay.

[18:06] And that's my assumption is that it's going to be more like All-Star Superman because that was a great book.

[18:11] But what if they went the opposite way?

[18:13] What if DC like took the parent protect search off, the safe search,

[18:19] and made a Joker movie that was like really twisted?

[18:22] What if they made a Joker movie that was like all about how life sucks and everything's bad and Batman's not in it

[18:27] and it's just super dark and grim?

[18:29] But it's a musical.

[18:30] But it's a musical.

[18:31] Eventually.

[18:32] That makes it even twisteder.

[18:33] Yeah, so much – just like that movie Twisteders starring Glenn Powell.

[18:37] What if – I imagine the – someone who is not a – the world's biggest Twisted Sister fan

[18:44] falls into a coma right before the movie Twister comes out.

[18:47] They wake up right before the movie Twisters come out and they assume it's about Twisted Sister

[18:51] and they're so disappointed when they go to see it.

[18:54] Like you can't even put them on the soundtrack?

[18:56] Yeah, an hour in he's like, I'm not going to take this anymore.

[18:59] Speaking of soundtracks, we didn't talk about this on our Joker Part 2 episode,

[19:04] but it's pretty fucked up with all the songs.

[19:07] They didn't put The Joker by the Stephen Miller Band in there.

[19:10] Yes, you'd expect it to be in there.

[19:12] Well, he's not a midnight toker.

[19:13] He would have crushed it.

[19:15] He would have been, yeah.

[19:16] Let's go through these a little bit –

[19:17] He tokes in the middle of the day like a toasted douche.

[19:20] Let's do two more and then I just want to mention Flop TV again

[19:26] and then we'll do this quick because Dan has dinner plans.

[19:29] You can hear us, Alex.

[19:31] You might want to edit out that tummy rumbling sound that's coming from Dan's mic.

[19:36] Turn off the ball-busting gain on Elliot a little higher for that.

[19:43] I'm just worried that Dan's going to look at Stewart and Stewart's going to turn into a turkey leg.

[19:47] And I'll be like, what?

[19:49] I don't understand.

[19:50] Why are you licking your lips at me?

[19:52] So the Fast and the Furious franchise, what's your New Year's resolution for the Fast and the Furious franchise?

[19:56] What's your New Year's resolution for the Fast and the Furious franchise?

[20:00] Resolution would be spend more time with my family, but they've got that covered.

[20:03] So what should they do this year?

[20:05] Yeah, they got to go.

[20:06] So they've they started off pretty small, right?

[20:09] Not in size, but like in scope.

[20:12] And then the last one, they were in outer space.

[20:14] They have to go back in time.

[20:15] They've got to do a time travel one.

[20:17] I would say as much as part of me would be like different dimensions.

[20:21] I feel like that's been overdone lately.

[20:23] Nobody's into multiverses.

[20:25] Go back in time again.

[20:27] That's that's my what I keep hearing from people when I ask them what they think is

[20:30] next in the series as they go.

[20:31] Vin Diesel's got to go back in time and see Paul Walker again, like they like the John

[20:35] Toretto of now has to go back and see the him of back then and see his best friend again.

[20:40] And what happened?

[20:41] You know, one of those cars goes through a fucking time tunnel.

[20:44] Yes, up on the foggy old streets of London town.

[20:47] He runs over Jack the Ripper.

[20:50] Or I mean, this could be finally the Fast and Furious back to the future.

[20:53] They call it back to the furious or something like that.

[20:56] It's like we got a new we got a new mechanic working in the shop and it's Doc Brown.

[21:00] Oh, we hear your cars.

[21:03] They got to go to 88 miles per hour.

[21:04] He's like, yeah, we do that all the time.

[21:08] I feel like this one's hard because I feel like the things I like about the streets of

[21:12] London.

[21:13] Yeah, well, then it becomes not the mystery of the Ripper is becomes taken over the mystery

[21:19] of what happened to the man who was hit by some kind of fast moving object.

[21:23] Yeah, I feel like the things I like about it are different than what other people like

[21:27] about it.

[21:28] Yeah, you're a cool girl.

[21:30] Other.

[21:30] Well, I mean, no, I just don't understand.

[21:33] I don't understand the series the way that like the real fans do, because I guess the

[21:39] series hit some exact right level of goofiness for them at a certain point.

[21:44] And now that now in the most recent one, they're like too goofy.

[21:48] I'm like, this is not that much different than what's come before.

[21:52] I don't see the difference that you're seeing.

[21:54] You're like, you saw the one with Charlize Theron with cornrows, right?

[21:58] Or whatever.

[21:59] Braids.

[21:59] And also like all the stuff about family.

[22:02] I'm like, I guess this is heartfelt for like the fans.

[22:05] But for me, this seems like total tacked on nonsense.

[22:09] So I say kill half of the family.

[22:14] There's such a cast extension.

[22:15] So much cast creep.

[22:16] I just got to focus on some core.

[22:20] The family love to me in those movies is similar to the the montage climax music from a saw

[22:27] movie in something that I'm like, this has to be here.

[22:32] This is very essential to this movie.

[22:34] Yeah, it doesn't.

[22:36] It just like, yeah, yeah, there's just some kind of connection that I need to have.

[22:41] Otherwise, what is what does everything else matter?

[22:44] You need to have that.

[22:45] So Stewart's New Year's resolution for Fast Furious is time travel.

[22:48] Dan's is kill half the cast.

[22:50] All right.

[22:50] Or you have to kill them, like send them off somewhere, like split it off, like have them

[22:54] on two different adventures.

[22:55] So it's like the blue and gold teams of X-Men in the early 90s.

[22:58] Or the two different Pokemon games you could buy.

[23:00] Yeah, yeah, of course.

[23:01] Sure, sure.

[23:02] OK, next, we're going to go to a quick spot for Flop TV.

[23:05] But first, the New York Mets.

[23:06] What's your what's your New Year's resolution for the New York Mets?

[23:09] That's a franchise.

[23:11] I guess just like do it better than before.

[23:15] They did pretty good, but they didn't do as good as Los Angeles.

[23:20] Yes, that's true.

[23:21] So maybe they should watch how Los Angeles did and maybe do that.

[23:26] Just do exactly that.

[23:28] OK, yeah, you heard it here first.

[23:30] New York Mets do that.

[23:31] I'm going to take a quick moment just to remind people about Flop TV.

[23:34] Flop TV, the last episode of the season is coming up on February 1st.

[23:41] That's right.

[23:41] February 1st, the first Saturday in February.

[23:43] We'll be talking about Ninja Turtles 2, Secret of the Ooze on Flop TV,

[23:47] the TV version of the Flop House.

[23:49] Go to theflophouse.simpletics.com.

[23:52] Did you miss the whole season?

[23:54] Did you?

[23:54] Really?

[23:55] That's OK.

[23:56] If you get a season pass now, which is six shows for the price of five,

[24:00] you will get access to the videos for all those shows.

[24:02] And this is a really fun season.

[24:04] We've had a great time talking about movie sequels, doing crazy presentations,

[24:09] doing even crazier videos.

[24:11] This has been super fun.

[24:12] It's been a blast.

[24:13] A great season.

[24:14] Season 2 of Flop TV, go to theflophouse.simpletics.com.

[24:17] Again, that's theflophouse.simpletics.com, where you can get season passes or,

[24:23] I guess, individual tickets for the individual recordings.

[24:26] Again, I don't know why you'd want to do that unless you were like,

[24:28] I only want to hear them talk about Highlander 2, The Quickening,

[24:31] and I do not want to hear them talk about other movies.

[24:33] But we hope you can join us on February 1st, the first Saturday in February,

[24:37] 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific, theflophouse.simpletics.com.

[24:41] And then it'll be time to put those flop episodes

[24:44] into the Flophouse vault after February.

[24:46] Those videos will be up all the way through the month of February.

[24:50] So even if you miss that program,

[24:52] you can still get a season pass to watch all those shows.

[24:55] Remember, February is the shortest month of the year,

[24:57] so you don't have as much time as in other months.

[25:00] It's a good public service announcement.

[25:01] Yeah, thank you.

[25:02] Theflophouse.simpletics.com.

[25:09] Hey, ghosts.

[25:10] I'm John Hodgman.

[25:11] And eggo some Janet Varney.

[25:12] And we're the hosts of E Pluribus Motto,

[25:14] a podcast dedicated to exploring the mottos of every state in the union.

[25:18] Every episode, we will spotlight one state and discuss its official symbols,

[25:22] the motto, flowers, birds, beverages, songs, and even official state muffins.

[25:28] Plus, we'll hear from guests whose lives have been inspired by the state's iconography

[25:32] and from residents who call that state home.

[25:35] Bring some snacks, a map, and your travel journal,

[25:37] because this podcast is a virtual journey like no other.

[25:40] Au di nostrum E Pluribus Motto, quae libe talia lunae di maximum fun.

[25:44] And for the Latin-challenged among you and us,

[25:47] listen to E Pluribus Motto every other Monday on Maximum Fun.

[25:52] OK, back to New Year's resolutions.

[25:55] No.

[25:56] Now, another franchise that just had a new release was Lord of the Rings

[26:00] with their War of the Rararararim.

[26:02] The Rararim.

[26:04] Stuart, what's a Rararim?

[26:04] I'm going to beat your fucking face.

[26:07] Look, I like characters and franchises with real names like Kang.

[26:13] I don't know what a Rararim is,

[26:15] but what should the Lord of the Rings resolve for this this new year?

[26:19] Oh, damn.

[26:20] Oh, damn, dog.

[26:22] I think if you've got limited source material

[26:26] and you've essentially used it all by now,

[26:29] you got one of two paths that you can take.

[26:31] OK, make the most expensive television show in the history of television.

[26:35] One is, hey, maybe just stop.

[26:38] Just stop now.

[26:39] You don't got to do more.

[26:40] We got it.

[26:41] You can stop.

[26:42] Don't don't squeeze that orange anymore.

[26:44] All the juice is out of there.

[26:46] Or you do something vastly different within that world

[26:50] that's genuinely creative and different,

[26:54] rather than just sort of like...

[26:55] So something like bright, you're saying,

[26:57] where it's like Lord of the Rings, but nowadays...

[26:59] Maybe I can eat the lemon, the orange peel from that previous metaphor.

[27:04] Now, I wonder if they could do something like...

[27:05] So this is something I just saw.

[27:07] So we were in Atari yesterday stocking up on clothes.

[27:10] That's where we had to leave our house.

[27:12] But I saw there are toys now that are Ninja Turtles, He-Man crossover toys,

[27:17] where it's a Ninja Turtles character merged with a He-Man character.

[27:21] And there's also a Masters of the Universe Stranger Things double toy set.

[27:25] So should they do something like that with Lord of the Rings, Stuart,

[27:28] where they mesh it with Stranger Things or Ninja Turtles or something like that?

[27:31] I'm just thinking how badly we need Griffin Newman to weigh in on this.

[27:35] Yeah, we do.

[27:36] What I would say, yeah, of course...

[27:37] For his April Ork O'Neil character.

[27:40] Yeah.

[27:41] I feel like you're right.

[27:43] A crossover is always a good idea.

[27:44] But you know what?

[27:45] What I think they should really do...

[27:47] I think it's time for just a silly one, you know?

[27:49] A goofy one, you know?

[27:50] Do their own...

[27:51] Or Tom Bombadil.

[27:53] Do their own Spaceballs, but for Lord of the Rings.

[27:57] I mean, that's kind of like the plan at one point for Jaws 3,

[28:00] when it was going to be Jaws 3, People Zero,

[28:01] and National Lampoon was going to be the ones that made it.

[28:05] That fell apart because they...

[28:06] I listened to a podcast, an episode of The Greatest Movies Never Made,

[28:09] where they went through the script for it.

[28:10] And they're like, there's not a lot of shark in this parody of Jaws.

[28:15] But I would love to see a funny Lord of the Rings movie.

[28:18] I think that'd be very good.

[28:20] I feel like Peter Jackson has not gone back to his roots of being like a funny dude,

[28:26] a funny filmmaker.

[28:27] You want the Peter Jackson of bad taste and meet the Feebles and so forth

[28:31] to do a Lord of the Rings movie.

[28:33] Yeah, Dead Alive, aka Brain Dead.

[28:35] Yeah.

[28:36] Even The Frighteners.

[28:37] Frighteners.

[28:38] The Frighteners is a funny movie.

[28:39] I mean, Stuart would be mad at me.

[28:41] I think that might be my favorite Peter Jackson movie, is The Frighteners.

[28:43] But I don't know.

[28:44] It's a real fun house ride of a movie.

[28:47] It's such a bonkers movie.

[28:49] It's really fun.

[28:49] You get to see John Aspen as the ghost of a cowboy who has sex with a mummy.

[28:54] That's great.

[28:54] Jeffrey Combs has a bunch of...

[28:55] Jeffrey Combs has scars all over him.

[28:57] He's all scarred up.

[28:58] Wait, his body's a roadmap of pain?

[29:01] I believe so.

[29:02] Yeah.

[29:02] So here's in the similar to Lord of the Rings.

[29:04] This is another movie trilogy franchise.

[29:06] And I was wondering, what's your news resolution for the before trilogy?

[29:10] You know, before sunrise, before midnight, before sunset.

[29:13] Probably find new times of the day.

[29:16] Before lunchtime, something like that.

[29:18] Yeah.

[29:19] I mean, I feel like...

[29:20] Before primetime.

[29:21] I feel like they could definitely, like, hang out and talk more.

[29:26] Okay.

[29:27] I mean, I feel like that was kind of the point of the last movie,

[29:29] was they had stopped hanging out and talking.

[29:30] And it hurt their relationship.

[29:32] Yeah.

[29:33] But they did in Greece.

[29:34] I think they could go to another beautiful location and walk around and talk.

[29:38] Guys, I still haven't seen the third one.

[29:41] And part of it's because I don't want to see the march.

[29:44] I understand that.

[29:45] That's fucking fair.

[29:46] That's fair.

[29:46] But it's a great movie.

[29:47] It's really great.

[29:49] It feels really real.

[29:50] Like, yeah.

[29:51] There's definitely a scene where they are, like, kind of arguing while partially clothed.

[29:57] Where I'm like, this is the most real shit I've ever seen.

[29:59] Yeah.

[30:00] Well, it's like that scene in that Fifty Shades of Grey movie,

[30:02] where they're arguing while getting dressed.

[30:03] I'm like, yeah, this is what happens.

[30:04] You know, like it's shortcuts or shortcuts.

[30:07] Yeah. Nude arguments.

[30:10] Or in in in is it in Don't Look Now

[30:14] when he they he's he's brushing his teeth with no clothes on.

[30:17] And I'm like, yeah, that happens.

[30:18] Sometimes you're brushing your teeth and no clothes on.

[30:19] Or like or like and then later on, you're like, what's this on my

[30:24] It's just toothpaste, Dan.

[30:25] How'd that get down there?

[30:27] Yeah, it's a killer dwarf, Dan.

[30:30] Get off of me.

[30:35] It's just like in Snakes on a Plane.

[30:36] Yeah. So let's let's go on to another franchise.

[30:41] This is a beloved one for Dan the Muppets, Dan.

[30:43] What's your New Year's resolution for the Muppets franchise?

[30:47] Look, I've liked a couple things post Jim Hansen that the Muppets

[30:54] have done, but he says he'll have the cast.

[30:56] I'm going to be killed.

[30:59] Well, being bunny.

[30:59] Sure.

[31:00] We can all do without him.

[31:01] Yeah, send them to the Grey Havens or whatever, you know, okay,

[31:05] you brought me back.

[31:06] Okay.

[31:06] Now Muppets Lord of the Rings that that's the thing that they

[31:09] should make.

[31:10] Yeah, honestly.

[31:11] Gonzo is Gandalf.

[31:12] You know it, you know, yeah, and so but is it going to be yeah,

[31:16] and I guess Kermit would have to be would have an error.

[31:19] No Kermit's fucking Aragorn.

[31:22] Kermit is Aragorn.

[31:23] Yeah.

[31:24] So and then you pump up Arwen's part and that's Miss Piggy.

[31:28] Oh, because I was going to say Miss Piggy is Aragorn.

[31:30] You just do Miss Piggy as Aragorn.

[31:32] That's you're right.

[31:33] I'm being I'm being gender-specific and that's stupid.

[31:36] Yeah.

[31:37] Yeah.

[31:37] Saruman.

[31:38] Although Sam the Eagle would be a great Saruman.

[31:41] Yeah.

[31:42] And I guess Fozzie could be Gandalf too, but Fozzie would be

[31:44] great Sam Gamgee.

[31:45] Like he's basically the same.

[31:46] Yeah.

[31:46] No, he's a Sam.

[31:48] Yeah.

[31:49] Okay.

[31:49] Yeah.

[31:49] Gonzo is when I fill out when I fill out those quizzes that

[31:52] tell me what Muppet I am.

[31:53] They always say Fozzie.

[31:55] I'm having trouble casting Gollum though.

[31:59] That's the animal.

[32:01] Gonzo is Gollum.

[32:03] Oh, Gonzo is Gollum.

[32:04] Yeah, actually Gonzo should be Gollum.

[32:05] You're right.

[32:06] The Muppets quiz is always telling me that I'm Lou Zealand.

[32:08] And so I don't know what that what that means, but well, he

[32:10] throws the fish and then they come back to him.

[32:14] Who would animal be?

[32:14] Because animal could be Gollum too.

[32:16] Animal could also be Gollum.

[32:17] Yeah, maybe there's two Gollums.

[32:20] Wait, what a crazy idea.

[32:22] What if animal is Aragorn?

[32:25] It is a crazy idea.

[32:28] That is a crazy idea.

[32:28] Well, they call him Strider, you know.

[32:31] Yeah, you know what?

[32:32] No, I think we've solved both of these franchises.

[32:34] We got to do Muppets Lord of the Rings.

[32:36] That'd be wonderful.

[32:37] Okay.

[32:38] Now another franchise, Kellogg's.

[32:40] Kellogg's characters.

[32:41] You got Tony the Tiger, Snap, Crackle, Pop.

[32:44] I know for a fact that Kellogg's is trying to get these

[32:47] characters into the TV and film business.

[32:49] What would you say to Kellogg's as their news resolution?

[32:52] I mean before I was saying with the MCU, maybe don't share

[32:56] universes so much crossovers, but here more crossovers, you

[33:01] know, so far they've just been restricted to their own cereal

[33:03] boxes for the most part.

[33:05] Yeah.

[33:05] I want to see, you know, a tiger chasing them elves around.

[33:09] Yeah, like Snap, Crackle, Toucan Sam.

[33:11] Yeah, let's do that.

[33:13] Yeah, like normally I associate these characters with food,

[33:17] but what are their like hopes and dreams and shit guys?

[33:20] Yeah, that's true.

[33:20] Yeah.

[33:21] Let's hear their backstories.

[33:22] Yeah.

[33:22] More of like on my dinner with Andres.

[33:24] Yeah.

[33:25] Yeah, Dan's just bringing up that.

[33:26] We just recently saw Wallace Shawn in the flesh.

[33:29] Oh, sure.

[33:29] It was.

[33:30] Oh, where'd you see him?

[33:31] I've seen him in the flesh a couple times.

[33:32] Yeah.

[33:33] So we were lucky enough to get invited to the New York Film

[33:36] Critics Circle Awards here in New York City.

[33:39] Not because of our criticism bona fides, but because we knew.

[33:44] I mean.

[33:44] Had a friend.

[33:45] You faked it until you make it, Dan.

[33:47] Yeah.

[33:47] Our friend Matt Singer had some extra tickets and he invited

[33:51] us.

[33:51] I think it was because he emceed last year.

[33:54] So he had a very good table and he was right next to this

[33:57] year's emcee.

[33:57] Mr.

[33:58] David Sims, who also brought along a few of his own podcasters.

[34:02] Yeah.

[34:03] So yeah, we were seeing we got to see man.

[34:05] Let's go down the celebs.

[34:06] We saw Daniel excited.

[34:09] Why not?

[34:10] Flop house on the red carpet.

[34:11] Yeah, we're seated right next to a table with Kieran Culkin

[34:13] and Claire Danes right next to them were Adrian Brody and

[34:17] Guy Pearce.

[34:18] We got to see Wallace Shawn.

[34:20] We got to see John Turturro, Carol Kane, Mike Lee, Dan.

[34:24] Yeah, Mike Lee.

[34:25] I'm very excited about hearing about Mike Lee and Carol

[34:27] Kane, John Turturro and Wallace Shawn are the only ones

[34:29] those that I've seen in real life.

[34:31] Yeah, Wallace Shawn.

[34:32] I've seen in many restaurants and theater audiences and

[34:35] and John Turturro I've seen just walking around the street

[34:37] whistling to himself very loudly.

[34:40] And Carol Kane and it was very sweet.

[34:42] Like he sort of helped her down from the stage afterwards

[34:44] and like took her hand all the way back.

[34:46] And I was like on the verge of tears just because they

[34:49] seemed so sweet.

[34:51] Marianne Jean-Baptiste was there.

[34:53] She was great.

[34:54] The director and cinematographer of Nickel Boys were there

[34:59] and the Best Picture winner was introduced by Mr.

[35:05] Robert Pattinson himself.

[35:06] Unfortunately, not doing his Mickey 17 voice which bummed

[35:10] me out.

[35:12] So let's let's move.

[35:14] It sounds like you guys had a great time.

[35:16] I've been I've been having fun lately too.

[35:17] I've been doing lots of great stuff lately.

[35:19] Yeah.

[35:20] We I mean we sent you pictures and we're like wish you were

[35:22] here.

[35:22] Yeah, you sent me pictures and then you kept texting me being

[35:25] like what why didn't you?

[35:26] Why didn't you hurt these?

[35:28] What's your problem, dude?

[35:30] So I actually sent Ellie the message about how bad I felt

[35:35] that we were living it up while he was having fun while I was

[35:40] tucking into food that was as I would describe very fancy

[35:44] BPF Chang's.

[35:46] I was thinking Ellie would want me to live it up.

[35:49] Yeah, I would I would want you both to live long want me to

[35:52] take advantage of this open bar.

[35:54] I will and thank you again.

[35:56] I hope you did singer for being kind enough to let us.

[35:59] Yeah, man.

[36:00] Singers about their party.

[36:01] He is great.

[36:01] He's great.

[36:02] Okay, we got two franchises left and we'll wrap up this

[36:04] episode.

[36:05] Okay.

[36:05] The first is the second biggest franchise in entertainment

[36:09] and and the last one we talk about is the biggest franchise

[36:12] in entertainment.

[36:13] So the second biggest franchise in entertainment Star Wars.

[36:17] What's the what's the what's the new year's resolution for

[36:19] Star Wars?

[36:19] I've got that skeleton crew show the acolyte did not go the

[36:22] way that they thought it would and in fact that people were

[36:25] not as happy with it as they hoped or rather diehard fans

[36:28] and I don't mean fans of diehard.

[36:30] I mean diehard fans of Star Wars.

[36:31] Maybe fans of diehard weren't into it too.

[36:32] Maybe they were I don't know.

[36:33] They were like maybe John McLean is in this one.

[36:35] Oh, he's not still he's not.

[36:37] Yeah, but what should Star Wars do?

[36:40] I mean, it depends.

[36:41] I feel like the fan base of Star Wars wants it to atrophy

[36:46] they would well, they would argue that they wanted to grow

[36:49] up with them.

[36:50] And by that they mean they want to see lightsabers chopping

[36:52] dudes in half.

[36:54] Yeah, I could be wrong.

[36:57] I mean where that happens, but like way more like blood

[37:01] everywhere.

[37:02] Yeah.

[37:02] Yeah, absolute fucking mayhem.

[37:05] The poster absolute fucking mayhem, but it was an ad for

[37:09] absolute vodka and it's just people hitting each other with

[37:11] their heads with those bottles.

[37:12] Absolute mayhem.

[37:13] Yeah.

[37:15] Remember wait, do you guys remember when absolute vodka

[37:18] ads were like the coolest things in the world and people

[37:21] were putting them on the walls of their bedrooms?

[37:23] Was this only an East Coast thing or this happened when you

[37:25] guys grew up?

[37:26] Did you have absolute vodka in the in the mid in the middle

[37:28] of the country?

[37:29] Was that just a sophisticated East Coastal thing?

[37:32] I know we had it do the ads were in like Rolling Stone

[37:34] magazine or yes.

[37:36] Yeah, they all have like I remember like my cousin and

[37:39] my sister like they would put these ads on the walls the

[37:41] room and it was like there.

[37:42] I remember there was a Kurt Vonnegut one and it was like,

[37:44] oh, he's he's finally cool again.

[37:46] Kurt Vonnegut.

[37:47] This is he's in this absolute absolute vodka ad.

[37:49] What was that all about?

[37:51] Yeah, Dan.

[37:52] What was that all about?

[37:53] He probably you know, they offered him money to do that.

[37:56] I mean, never mind.

[37:57] I'm at the absolute vodka craze.

[37:58] Maybe Star Wars.

[37:59] You're saying Stuart you think they should grow up and have

[38:02] lightsabers chopping people up.

[38:03] I mean, I think that's what people that's what the audience

[38:05] wants.

[38:07] So not like skeleton crew, which is the exact opposite which

[38:09] is yeah.

[38:09] I mean, I thought people wanted the last Jedi, but I was very

[38:14] wrong.

[38:16] Yeah, you can't have nice things.

[38:17] I look if it was just me again, it would be sort of like well,

[38:24] do we have to keep doing this would be my resolution.

[38:27] Like look you've somehow managed to take a movie franchise

[38:33] that was at one point in my life like the most important

[38:38] entertainment thing maybe to me like the thing that I was just

[38:42] that just blew my mind and expanded my world and I loved it

[38:46] now.

[38:46] It's hard to get to Hawaii.

[38:48] Yeah, I'm in the Sedaris first.

[38:52] No, but I like David Sedaris or Amy Sedaris first do I need

[38:56] although they have opinions.

[38:57] I'd imagine do I need more of this like the only thing I've

[39:02] enjoyed was what the and or thing and I that's the name of

[39:06] the show the and or thing the and or thing and I think I mean

[39:09] like if we're getting for not going to be that negative about

[39:12] it.

[39:12] I would say and or does something that these other things

[39:16] haven't as effectively done, which is find to find something

[39:20] within that storytelling that I haven't seen which is like

[39:23] okay, what is like let's take let's take the idea of a political

[39:29] rebellion seriously like on the ground level like what does

[39:33] this look like in this universe?

[39:36] So I would like even further out of the box new things to

[39:41] happen in that we want to finally understand how the Trade

[39:44] Federation handled trade.

[39:47] Well, I just don't I don't you know, like I don't need to have

[39:51] every minor character get their own series because we know

[39:55] them already, you know, a whole bunch of funny that you the

[40:00] you held up was Andor, which is a minor character from one of the movies, one of the spinoffs.

[40:06] But it's a minor character from a new spinoff. It's not like, okay, well, you know, everyone

[40:11] loves the Clone War cartoon, so what we have to do is go to that, rather than, like, there

[40:19] are whole movies where new characters are introduced to us, and we're not like, this

[40:24] isn't someone I know before. I've never seen any. Well, you say that, Dan, but what about

[40:28] us? What if my solution was Muppet Star Wars? Kermit is Luke Skywalker. Miss Piggy is probably

[40:34] Princess Leia. Fozzie is Chewbacca. Gonzo is Darth Vader. I feel like this has happened

[40:38] already. Okay, Fozzie is Lando Calrissian. What are you talking about, Dan? No, no, no.

[40:44] I didn't. I thought you were talking about someone else. Which of the two, Fozzie or

[40:49] Chewbacca? Who do you think I was talking about? I don't know. Well, guys, we talked

[40:53] about Star Wars. That's the biggest franchise in entertainment. Time to talk about the second

[40:56] biggest franchise in entertainment. Time to talk about the biggest franchise in entertainment.

[41:01] What do they do next? You know the one I'm talking about. That's right. Let's say it

[41:04] all together. Property Brothers. What did the Property Brothers do in 2025? Biggest

[41:09] franchise in entertainment. Probably a property. All I know is, like, is one of them still

[41:17] with Zooey Deschanel? You're really up on Celebrity Goss. Yeah, I believe so, but that's

[41:25] kind of the past and it's happened already. So the resolution can't be marry Zooey Deschanel

[41:29] because I think that happened already. Zooey Beshamel is not a real person, but they could

[41:35] try to make that happen. So they're brothers and they do something with property? Dan,

[41:41] this is probably the biggest show on television. I don't. Anything that has to do with real

[41:46] estate in entertainment, I'm like, this stresses me out in life. I don't own any real estate,

[41:53] but the mere, like, idea of, like, looking at listings whenever we have to move is the

[41:58] worst thing in the world to me. So I don't like seeing real estate. So once again, Dan's

[42:01] resolution is stop doing the thing that you're doing. Just stop. Well, no, just don't show

[42:05] it to me. Other people can enjoy it. OK, OK. And and this is not. You just don't want to

[42:10] put your thumb on the scale of the thing you don't give a shit about. Yeah. Yeah. OK, well,

[42:15] so I think we've got a lot of good options for everybody. Dan's go to of don't do this

[42:19] stuff anymore. He'll have the cash. I'm like, but there's only two brothers. It's not property

[42:25] brothers. If there's just one of them, it's just property guy, you know, property bro.

[42:31] And I mean, all of the brothers, I don't know how well they get along. They every time I

[42:34] see the show, it always seems like they I used to watch it sometimes because I thought

[42:38] it was funny that they seemed to very arbitrarily pick that one wears a suit and one wears kind

[42:42] of like construction clothes. And it seems at a certain point that just as professional

[42:46] wrestlers would come to really dislike each other when the storyline says that they have

[42:50] to like, they'll come to feel that it felt like the property brothers at a certain point

[42:53] did have that that divide of like, well, you don't understand.

[42:56] You don't work with your hands. Well, I'm the one running this business anyway. But

[43:00] I think the other solution is a lot like the flop house, honestly. Yes. There's a lot of

[43:04] nuanced solutions. I think honestly, the best solution we've come up with, the best resolution

[43:08] and you can't spell resolution without solution. It's literally the re solutioning of something.

[43:14] Muppets and stuff. Yeah, I think so. Muppet Fast and the Furious. Yes, please. The Internet

[43:20] is in agreement with us on anything. It's that. Why isn't the MCU the Muppet Cinematic

[43:24] Universe? Why not? Come on. Why not? Because it really hasn't been a very successful franchise

[43:31] since the death of Benson. Oh, all right. OK, well, the one time and guys, I guess we

[43:38] should go. I just want to see. Also, there's just one other media figure who I feel like

[43:43] dominates the media landscape. This is an individual person, not a franchise. And I

[43:47] just wondered, do you have a new year's resolution for them? Someone who I feel like you can't

[43:51] talk about the modern media landscape without this person being in the center. I'm feeling

[43:55] a rug pull here. As I keep winding it up and building up this slowly, tentatively stepping

[44:01] out of the ice, willing to trust again off that rug. And so we're all saying it flow

[44:07] from progressive. What does she do in 2025? It's a good question, Dan. How do you feel

[44:13] about the Internet should get like even hornier for? I mean, that's the Internet's resolution.

[44:18] That's not really for flow. That's true. I mean, I should keep giving them stuff to feel

[44:22] about. Yeah, I would say nothing because apparently it doesn't really take anything.

[44:26] It's just flow being flow. I would say branch off into kind of like a cool hip hop career.

[44:33] OK, cool. Yeah. All right. Turn. But sure. I'm for it. Yeah, I feel like it's time for to really

[44:39] take the voice that she has and add, you know, a little bit of extra spice.

[44:45] Sounds good. OK, well, you heard it here first. Twenty twenty five. You know,

[44:48] we know you've got a lot of bad stuff in store for us, but you know what? You could also give

[44:51] us some good stuff. More Muppets kill half the characters and pretty much any franchise.

[44:56] And also flow. Get hip hoppin, I guess. Yeah, that's the term.

[45:02] Thanks for joining me on this little journey through what people should be doing this year.

[45:07] I am, of course, Elliot Kalin, joined by Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington.

[45:10] I'd like to tell you real quick that we are a podcast on a maximum fun network. Please check

[45:14] out the other maximum fun podcast. There's a lot of great ones on there, and I think you'll like

[45:18] them. If you like this one, you'll probably like them. If you didn't like this one, try another

[45:22] episode. This one's out of the ordinary. I'd like to thank our producer Alex Smith. You can find him

[45:27] online performing music under the name Howell Dottie. If you'd like to give us a review,

[45:32] a positive review, I hope on one of your podcast apps, that would be wonderful.

[45:37] Or maybe just tell somebody about the flop house if you liked it. Help us spread the word,

[45:41] you know, it's been great. And as I said before, if you can find it in your budget to help out

[45:47] those who've been affected by the fires in my hometown of Los Angeles, I would greatly appreciate

[45:51] it. There's a lot of people in need, and you can help change things and make things better for them.

[45:56] Even if it's just a little bit of money at a time, every little bit helps. For the flop house again,

[46:00] I have been Elliot Kalin, and my resolution is to give more credit and more talking time

[46:05] to my co-hosts Dan McCoy, Stuart Wellington. All right, that's enough talking time. Bye. Bye.

[46:13] Bye.

FH Mini #121 - Hi, Resolutions!

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