The Flop House: Episode #52 - Dragonball: Evolution

[0:00] In this episode, we discuss Dragon Ball Evolution, the movie that inspired Ben Stein to make his hit film, Dragon Ball Intelligent Design.

[0:30] Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Nigel Wood, tonight's guest host.

[0:46] Wow, he did our job for him, Stuart. He introduced himself as a guest. That's not Stuart affecting an English accent. That's actually another person.

[1:00] Although it sounds shockingly like my Daniel Craig accent. Hello, hello. Apples and pears.

[1:06] Man, I'm getting homesick.

[1:08] I know, I'll try.

[1:10] Daniel Craig, of course, talks entirely in cockney rhyming slang.

[1:14] Which I would try to affect, but I'm not smart or funny enough to do that.

[1:20] I did think you were Daniel Craig when you answered the door.

[1:22] I know, right? It's because I had my shirt off.

[1:25] Totally ripped.

[1:26] Yeah, shredded up.

[1:28] Now, Nigel, you're Stuart's boss.

[1:32] He was my boss.

[1:33] Oh, was your boss.

[1:34] In a form of life, yes.

[1:35] Okay.

[1:36] Now he's a transporter.

[1:38] What?

[1:39] Now he's a transporter like Jason Statham.

[1:41] Never looks at the package.

[1:42] Yeah, he never looks at the package.

[1:43] Oh, okay.

[1:44] I thought he was your current boss, in which case I was going to ask him whether A, you were trying to suck up to him by having him as a guest, or B, he had compelled you to have him as a guest.

[1:55] No, I'm trying to get him into bed, Dan.

[1:57] Oh, okay.

[1:58] And I thought maybe getting him on our popular podcast where we review bad movies.

[2:04] Feed me a couple of weak beers.

[2:05] Yeah, feed him a couple of Miller Highlights.

[2:07] How's it going so far, Nigel?

[2:08] He's looking better all the time.

[2:11] Miller High Lives.

[2:12] Miller High Lives, yes, indeed.

[2:15] Well, guys, it's been a while since I've seen you.

[2:21] Yeah, and this is the first time you've met Nigel.

[2:24] Yeah.

[2:25] It's been half a month since I've seen you, so it's been never since I've met Nigel.

[2:28] I've got one question.

[2:30] What's that?

[2:31] That I need to ask you.

[2:32] Sure.

[2:33] Did you hear about the Morgans?

[2:34] After what fashion, Dan?

[2:39] Well, from what I hear, they had to go into the Witness Relocation Program.

[2:46] Are you getting paid to plug a movie?

[2:50] That stars a national treasure, a national treasure from England, Hugh Grant.

[2:56] Yeah, no, well, I heard that in that film, Hugh Grant is forced to go to a rodeo.

[3:01] How did that make you feel?

[3:04] Well, I mean, we have rodeos all the time in England, so that's pretty easy for him.

[3:08] Really?

[3:09] All right, well, what do you ride, like camels or zebras or something?

[3:14] Yeah, usually like polo ponies.

[3:17] Polo ponies are good.

[3:19] And corgis.

[3:20] Little Welsh corgis?

[3:21] Little Welsh corgis.

[3:23] Wow.

[3:24] See, you're destroying all kinds of cherished American stereotypes about our cousins.

[3:32] Right.

[3:33] Across the pond.

[3:34] Yep.

[3:35] What else?

[3:36] Just that they don't like rodeos, basically.

[3:38] I don't think I can drink this beer, it's not warm.

[3:40] Oh, yeah, yeah, that's another one.

[3:43] All right, I got it.

[3:44] That's good.

[3:45] All right, guys.

[3:46] So we watched a movie tonight, Dan.

[3:48] Did we?

[3:49] Yeah, no, we did.

[3:50] Okay.

[3:51] I'm pretty sure.

[3:52] It's already left my brain.

[3:53] I watched 90 minutes of random scenes.

[3:55] Yeah.

[3:56] I mean, most of the time I was looking at my phone or looking at the art you have hanging

[4:01] around your well-appointed home.

[4:02] Thank you.

[4:03] Well, yeah, as Stuart said, it was as if we put a DVD in and we hit shuffle, more than

[4:10] we watched a coherent series of dramatic events that moved from point one to point two and

[4:17] so forth.

[4:18] That's true.

[4:19] I would say it's a collection of scenes, but they weren't really scenes, actually.

[4:23] They were just shots of stuff happening.

[4:25] Yeah.

[4:26] Just a bunch of stuff that happened.

[4:28] Yeah.

[4:29] It was called Dragon Ball Evolution or Evolution, depending on your pronunciation preference.

[4:35] Yeah.

[4:36] So is it about Charles Darwin's theory of evolution?

[4:40] I'm just trying to remember.

[4:42] Yeah.

[4:43] Do you want to recap the film for us?

[4:45] Maybe have Nigel do it in his sultry baritone voice?

[4:49] I wouldn't even know what to start.

[4:51] Okay, so Dan goes.

[4:53] Thanks.

[4:54] Yeah, sure.

[4:56] In Elliot's absence, frequent Flophouse listeners know that Elliot is the best of all of us

[5:01] at being able to parse the plots of these movies.

[5:05] He's also the shortest.

[5:06] Yeah.

[5:07] It might have something to do with the fact that he stays the soberest while we're watching

[5:11] these films, but Stuart is shaking his head.

[5:16] Surely not.

[5:19] So this is a movie about a young gentleman who looks like Billy Boyd.

[5:24] Sure.

[5:25] Pippin from the Lord of the Rings films.

[5:29] And he lives in some indeterminate place.

[5:35] Maybe.

[5:36] Maybe it's Jimmy Aggie's house.

[5:37] Yeah.

[5:38] Maybe Asia.

[5:39] Maybe America.

[5:40] Who knows?

[5:42] He is Caucasian, but his grandfather is an Asian gentleman.

[5:47] Who has a merkin on his chin.

[5:50] Well, it's a...

[5:51] I mean, it's like a blonde merkin.

[5:53] It's a soul patch that looks like a merkin.

[5:55] Yeah, I mean, it looks like carpet.

[5:57] Yeah.

[5:58] Maybe he had some cosmetic work and they pulled the skin so tight it went all the way up to

[6:01] his chin.

[6:02] That's a really good idea.

[6:03] Wait, from his chest or from his pubis?

[6:05] From all the way...

[6:06] Yes, from all the way down there.

[6:07] Sure, all the way down there.

[6:08] That makes...

[6:09] I guess that makes sense.

[6:10] His nipples would be on his shoulders all night.

[6:12] Yeah, that's possible.

[6:13] Wow, that's really tight.

[6:15] But so he is...

[6:17] I mean, they didn't go into that in the movie, right?

[6:19] I didn't miss that part.

[6:20] They didn't talk about his cosmetic work in the movie, right?

[6:23] No, that was a deleted subplot.

[6:25] That was assumed.

[6:26] Sure.

[6:27] But I guess that Billy Boyd, as I would call him, was supposed to be a high school aged person.

[6:35] Yeah, he goes to like...

[6:36] He was turning 18.

[6:37] Oh, okay.

[6:39] So he's old enough to party.

[6:40] Yeah.

[6:41] I mean, it's confusing in that movie way that things are confusing when people are always

[6:44] playing below their ages.

[6:48] So he is a kung fu master because his grandfather has taught him, but he's not allowed to use

[6:56] this because his grandfather does not want him raising his fists in anger against other

[7:00] people, I guess.

[7:03] But his grandfather gives him a dragon ball for his birthday.

[7:07] That's a pretty cool gift.

[7:08] Yeah, sure.

[7:09] What does it do?

[7:10] That's on my Amazon wish list.

[7:11] I have watched the entire film, Dragon Ball Evolution.

[7:14] I still have no idea what a dragon ball is supposed to do.

[7:17] But he's given one.

[7:19] Okay.

[7:20] And he's a bit of a nerd at school.

[7:25] People think that he's a loser.

[7:27] Like a Peter Parker sort.

[7:28] Yeah, because he's not allowed to use his powers.

[7:31] He gets pushed around.

[7:32] With great power comes great responsibility.

[7:35] But he is in love with Chi-Chi.

[7:38] Yeah, that's her name, Chi-Chi, right?

[7:40] Chi-Chi works at Flash Dancers, doesn't she?

[7:43] Anyway.

[7:44] I think she does.

[7:45] When she's not a karate kicking high school student by night, she's a Flash Dancing...

[7:50] Wait, no, a dancer at Flash Dancers.

[7:53] But she's an Asian young lady.

[7:55] Yeah.

[7:56] And like all Asian young ladies, she's also a kung fu master.

[8:01] But we don't learn about this until later.

[8:04] And by the way, all the martial arts in this film is centered around...

[8:10] Are fantastic.

[8:12] They're all centered around Chi, which I guess is a different way of pronouncing Chi.

[8:17] Yeah, it's like magic, right?

[8:18] Sure.

[8:19] You've studied it in the Orient, Nigel.

[8:23] I don't like to talk about it.

[8:25] Okay.

[8:26] Yeah, you got me.

[8:28] Okay, it's a lot like...

[8:29] He literally doesn't like to talk about it.

[8:31] That's it, yeah.

[8:32] Can't talk about it.

[8:33] But...

[8:34] Sure.

[8:35] So, you know, the Peter Parker-esque character, you know, he goes to a party to meet with Chi-Chi,

[8:42] and he manages to beat up a bunch of bullies by not touching them at all.

[8:46] Sure.

[8:47] Like Gandhi.

[8:48] Yeah, basically compelling them to beat each other up.

[8:50] Just like Gandhi.

[8:51] Are you comparing the beating up of five high school kids with the bringing down of the British Empire?

[8:56] Absolutely.

[8:57] Okay, cool.

[8:59] And when he gets home, he finds that his grandfather is near death.

[9:03] It's a very Luke Skywalker and Star Wars sort of situation.

[9:07] Yeah, a fatal case of house collapsing on him.

[9:10] Yeah.

[9:11] And he discovers this is because of the Dragon Balls.

[9:15] There's an evil gentleman by the name of Piccolo.

[9:19] Yeah, Lord Piccolo is the title.

[9:22] The most evil-sounding name there could be.

[9:25] The small flute in the orchestra, Piccolo.

[9:29] He looks like Jambi from Pee-wee.

[9:33] A little more.

[9:34] I mean, a little.

[9:35] I mean, he's got a body.

[9:36] I'm like Jambi.

[9:37] Yeah, he's not confined to a box.

[9:40] He's not in a box.

[9:42] But, so, Jambi Piccolo wants to take over the world, and he wants to get the Dragon Balls.

[9:48] So, that's why Grandpa has to get out of the...

[9:52] Has to go.

[9:53] Has to go.

[9:54] Yeah.

[9:55] So, Billy Boyd buries the grandfather, and he comes back.

[10:00] back to his crushed house to find

[10:02] this uh... that's a good way of getting out

[10:04] you know

[10:07] you know what i think that the other was pretty expensive yeah it's really

[10:10] expensive and i mean he's eighteen like you know i don't even think he has a job

[10:14] you would be able to afford that

[10:15] yeah i don't know how he's going to survive actually after his grandpa

[10:17] i mean all his grandpa seems to do is like farm like oranges or something and

[10:22] like move his rocks around in the garden

[10:25] teach martial arts yeah i mean but he doesn't do it doesn't seem like he does

[10:28] that professionally, he had to pay for the cosmetic work

[10:32] that's true maybe it was uh... i have no idea

[10:36] maybe he had all seven of the dragon balls and he pawned them

[10:39] yeah that's actually a pretty good idea

[10:41] billy boyd comes back

[10:44] it's not billy boyd by the way i think i think he's the guy who starred in

[10:48] the hit film uh...

[10:50] oh shit the invisible or whatever that uh...

[10:54] that shitty david goyer film

[10:56] i think that's the same actor the movie about the little kid who gets killed and then he has to like

[11:00] i think it's the same actor it's like lovely bones but with a high school kid

[11:05] anyway but the guy who looks like billy boyd comes back home

[11:07] we'll just keep calling him billy boyd

[11:10] and he finds this uh...

[11:12] this girl his character's name is goku

[11:14] goku you can call him that goku despite being a caucasian gentleman

[11:18] his name is goku

[11:19] i mean his grandpa was asian right?

[11:23] he clearly has no asian background

[11:26] racially you can look at him and say that this man

[11:30] has been caucasian for the last

[11:33] five or six generations

[11:34] could be cosmetic work

[11:37] with their own cosmetic work around the lobby it's possible

[11:40] goku returns home

[11:42] he finds a sassy lady in his house with a punk rock

[11:48] uh... bright pink stripe in her hair

[11:50] i think you need to re-evaluate your definition of

[11:53] punk rock

[11:55] well she's got dyed hair that's all i'm saying

[11:58] and uh... one of the suicide guilds is they're waiting for it

[12:02] and uh... she is there

[12:04] yeah she's shooting up the place

[12:06] she's looking for the dragon ball because she has some sort of like physics

[12:09] thing she's like a source of power

[12:12] who the fuck knows

[12:13] she has a dragon ball locator by the way which is like ghostbusters ekg meter

[12:18] i thought it was pke meter

[12:22] yeah it's an electrocardiogram

[12:24] fair enough stewart

[12:25] but um... so they team up for some reason after fighting

[12:29] uh... in time-honored comical excursion they fight for a while and then they decide they're friends

[12:34] it's like wolverine and the punisher

[12:37] and then they use the charisma

[12:40] then they use the dragon ball locator

[12:42] to find chow yung fat

[12:45] who's the guy who's doing this one as a favor to somebody

[12:50] who's drunk somewhere

[12:52] who wears a lot of hawaiian shirts waiting for john wu to call him back

[12:57] they find him unconscious

[12:58] smashed, covered in stroke marks

[13:01] well he's also supposed to be the guy who trained his grandfather despite being several years

[13:04] younger obviously

[13:07] but um... maybe he used the ki to keep himself young

[13:11] but he only in the blanks for us

[13:13] but he's got another dragon ball

[13:14] i don't know shit

[13:16] and uh...

[13:18] then they go out into the desert for some reason

[13:21] yeah they fight for a while

[13:24] uh... then they go out into the desert

[13:25] where they find uh... chi chi

[13:28] who is in the middle of some sort of uh... martial arts fight club preparing for a tournament

[13:34] that sounds right and uh... then i sort of missed something the next thing that happened was that they were down a hole

[13:39] you might have been making popcorn

[13:41] yeah they fell down a cleverly disguised hole that was made by this weird

[13:46] bandit character about three thousand years ago because there was quite a bit of weathering on those walls

[13:52] and he didn't really disguise it

[13:54] like they just fell into a gigantic hole

[13:58] he tried to extort them

[14:00] to give them a ladder like he tried to get their car but then

[14:04] somehow they convince him to come down and he drills through a rock wall

[14:09] with this weird power drill because the locator goes off saying there's another dragon ball

[14:14] which is down in the center of the earth i guess

[14:16] they end up in the center of the earth because there's a bunch of lava

[14:21] a bunch of people fight them

[14:22] and an undetermined uh... roof

[14:25] like it looks like the fucking sky above them it's like they're in fucking mordor

[14:29] so imagine a bunch of lava

[14:32] and uh... they fight all these enemies

[14:34] and the corpses of the enemies fall in the lava

[14:37] and then goku leaps across the lava

[14:40] makes a bridge of the corpses

[14:42] uh... doesn't burn up

[14:44] uh... jumps across them finds another dragon ball

[14:48] sure and then they go out

[14:49] so it sounds like he's got a lot of these balls by now

[14:52] he's got a shit load of balls he's got his hands all over them

[14:56] and again

[14:57] you think that

[14:59] i'm just having a terrible time

[15:01] uh...

[15:02] synopsizing this film in elliot's absence

[15:05] but no it was just the most disjointed narrative you can imagine

[15:10] uh... and so then what happens

[15:12] oh shit

[15:13] the balls get stolen

[15:14] oh the balls get stolen immediately after they find the ball in mordor

[15:18] all the balls get stolen by the chick in the leather catsuit yeah but she like tricked him by like morphing

[15:23] into another chick right no that was later okay so she stole something then what happened

[15:29] well then later on there is a point where the evil girl

[15:33] uh... takes the form of chi chi

[15:35] yep and fights chi chi

[15:37] sure that makes sense runs off with all the dragon balls there's that scene where he kept

[15:42] the where he was trying to like set things on fire with his magic fireballs and he wasn't

[15:46] doing a very good job until

[15:48] she offered him a little bit of play yeah

[15:51] he had the incentive of potentially having sexual intercourse with chi chi

[15:56] and then he was very good at shooting fireballs

[15:58] yeah with every fireball he was able to shoot

[16:02] he would take another step towards her

[16:04] yeah he was able to get a little bit closer very shakespearean i guess in that regard

[16:09] uh...

[16:11] so that happened

[16:13] and uh... when she was more like in that form she stole all those balls right

[16:17] yeah she stole all the dragon balls

[16:20] and uh... the evil grandpa killing

[16:23] woman

[16:23] dressed as uh... disguised as chi chi spells chi chi steals the balls

[16:28] and uh... and then our main character beats up the girl that he's in love with

[16:32] right because he thinks she's

[16:34] the evil girl or something and in the meantime also the uh...

[16:39] bandit character who had that hole

[16:42] has somehow become part of our hero team and is romantically involved with the

[16:47] girl with the punk rock pink stripe in her hair sure and the pke meter

[16:54] dragon ball locator and then so then they all go into

[16:58] another deserty area

[17:01] and they have a big fight

[17:02] whereupon uh... goku

[17:05] uh... turns into a demon

[17:07] looks like a sad werewolf

[17:10] yeah the secret apparently the secret

[17:12] of goku

[17:13] is that he was found as a youth and he was actually like

[17:17] this demon character but

[17:19] uh... the goodness in his heart

[17:21] wins out

[17:23] and uh... he fights zombie

[17:25] like nature versus nurture or nurture versus nature

[17:29] and at the end uh... he defeats the bad guy

[17:32] and he gets all the dragon balls together

[17:35] which allows him to bring chow yun fat back to life who had died in the middle

[17:39] of this uh... he got blown up like his little stove blew up

[17:47] his little magic stove exploded

[17:49] so you at home you listeners at home

[17:53] have long since stopped paying attention to what we were saying

[17:56] because none of it makes any sense

[18:00] and our voices are lulling them to sleep

[18:04] our sweet baritone voices

[18:07] without elliot's fast

[18:09] whiny high-pitched voice to act as the

[18:13] tweeter to our subwoofers

[18:16] but um...

[18:17] in so much as we've confused you we have accurately reproduced

[18:22] the sensation

[18:24] of watching dragon ball evolution

[18:27] uh...

[18:28] so this movie is based on a comic book or a cartoon or something i think

[18:33] i'd i'd guess what that was a very i think so i mean there's uh... i mean

[18:37] i think it's based on

[18:38] cartoon right

[18:39] there's a cartoon i think there is a comic book as well

[18:43] okay

[18:44] so how do you feel it

[18:46] if this is a movie

[18:48] that is based on a japanese cartoon

[18:51] how well do you think it captures the spirit of that

[18:54] experience of watching a shitty japanese cartoon well i think it captured

[18:57] excellently in the sense that whenever i come across like a lousy japanese cartoon

[19:02] i watch it and i start getting a headache

[19:05] and i have no idea what's happening well it's probably because you're watching it

[19:09] while sitting upside down on your couch

[19:12] because all the blood is rushing to your head

[19:14] that's why you're getting a headache

[19:16] i should sit upright yeah you should i don't know what you're doing

[19:19] but uh...

[19:21] i feel confused sure

[19:23] i mean this movie

[19:25] this movie appeared to be several million dollars in the making

[19:28] they threw some money at it definitely yeah but it was made clearly only for those

[19:33] people

[19:34] who were already familiar with the dragon ball concept

[19:38] like this was or a child maybe a child who just wants to see colors because

[19:42] there's a lot of bright colors in this movie it does seem like episode twelve

[19:46] of the dragon ball series like a buckaroo bonsai type thing

[19:51] but not like they were doing that as an artistic choice like buckaroo bonsai

[19:54] like

[19:54] you know what i really love is those old serials i'm gonna make a movie that feels

[19:58] like we're coming in on a mill

[20:00] but this movie like

[20:01] actually was like coming in the middle of the didn't bother

[20:04] explaining anything

[20:06] but at least on my dragon wars we didn't have like

[20:10] forty minutes of fucking exposition began the movie

[20:14] now all written all read by a lot of thirty seconds at the beginning yet and

[20:18] then after telling us the uh... the history of

[20:21] the history of this story

[20:23] they then had the uh... the main characters grandfather say the first

[20:26] rule is

[20:27] there are no rules

[20:28] there are no rules

[20:31] which i think kind of excuses the entire movie at that point because

[20:34] then you don't have to worry about any logic

[20:36] there are no rules to movie making

[20:39] plot who gives a fuck? continuity

[20:42] you can kick her in the face and she'll still love you

[20:44] the one eighty degree rule

[20:46] not even that one wait what's the one eighty degree rule

[20:49] well you don't want to cut across the one eighty degree mark

[20:52] if you're editing a film

[20:54] if you suddenly like flip the geographic location of someone inside the frame

[21:00] that uh... creates a discontinuity in the viewer's mind stewart and they broke

[21:04] that rule

[21:05] i don't think that actually they probably one eighty degree rule

[21:09] was one of the things that they kept intact oh that's good

[21:13] the director james long

[21:15] uh... he's made movies before he's made movies before

[21:18] he directed a final destination is james wong

[21:20] uh... twelve-year-old boy

[21:23] uh... he could uh... i don't know dan

[21:26] i mean yeah i don't i guess i don't

[21:29] i don't know i'm assuming not since he's a professional movie director

[21:32] i'm assuming not since he was a writer for the x-files and since then

[21:35] oh he was a writer for the x-files that was a show that was on in the nineties

[21:40] it seems like it's true

[21:42] he'd probably be a little older

[21:45] maybe we should call dana and scully and ask them what the hell went on for the last nine minutes

[21:49] uh... maybe uh... molded with molder and scully

[21:53] well it's all it's got a lot of studies that is the girls like jillian anderson

[21:57] right but the actresses might not just wants to call dana scully

[22:00] i mean i'm older

[22:02] you can take a leave

[22:03] yeah i don't really care about it and i thought they were

[22:06] let's just call dana scully and get her right here when she's eighty years old she's going to be

[22:10] beyond smoking have you seen her recently? yeah she gets hotter as she gets older and she takes her clothes off more often

[22:15] yeah but she gets blonder as she gets older and i don't care for that

[22:19] well just wear like red sunglasses dude

[22:23] do the color on the cuffs match?

[22:24] yeah that's the thing

[22:26] i mean she's doing more nudity

[22:28] i mean you should check it out

[22:30] alright stewart

[22:31] don't give me those

[22:32] maybe she'll pose in a lads mag

[22:34] maybe

[22:36] maybe you should get a merkin from the same place that grandpa got his

[22:39] that's a blonde merkin though i don't want a blonde merkin it'd look weird with my hair

[22:43] and my chest hair

[22:45] so dan you were talking about something

[22:47] i don't think i was but

[22:49] okay so yeah i mean it did kind of feel like watching a shitty japanese cartoon

[22:53] there was a lot of bright colors

[22:55] there wasn't they didn't really slow down to do anything so it wasn't really boring

[23:00] uh... there's a lot like it did feel like a bunch of really fast little stories

[23:04] like little adventures

[23:05] kind of like uh... like a little video game

[23:08] you know sometimes

[23:09] when you watch a soap opera for so long you can go away for two weeks and come back and

[23:13] you know what's going on

[23:14] i didn't leave this couch once

[23:17] and i don't know what's going on

[23:19] it's like the opposite of that

[23:21] yeah i guess that's fair

[23:24] there would be scenes where you would

[23:27] feel like some sort of connective tissue had been eliminated

[23:30] like as i said

[23:32] the scenes where that guy who put them down that hole

[23:35] suddenly became part of their team like a valued member of the group

[23:40] oh speaking of like a team

[23:42] you know who was in this movie

[23:45] it was ernie hudson

[23:47] otherwise known as winston zeddemore

[23:49] of the ghostbusters

[23:52] he's dead to me

[23:54] because he was a villain in this movie

[23:56] wait he was a villain in this movie?

[24:00] he gave him the magic stove

[24:02] he was the mustard?

[24:05] he was the mustard

[24:06] okay i thought you were like he was the mustard in the sandwich

[24:10] yeah he was the mustard

[24:13] yeah like an integral part of the team because you can't have a good sandwich

[24:17] without mustard

[24:18] i thought that's what you were meaning

[24:20] i was just trying to say mustard

[24:24] this is an indication of how incomprehensible the movie was at many points

[24:28] i couldn't tell whether ernie hudson was a good guy or a bad guy

[24:32] okay i guess that's a fair critique of the film dan

[24:36] ernie hudson

[24:38] what was the last movie he did before this? the crow?

[24:41] uh...

[24:43] well he busts his way past the crow

[24:45] i uh...

[24:47] the hand that rocks the cradle?

[24:49] he replaced keith david as uh...

[24:52] the dad of one of the characters on uh... psych

[24:55] a show that i watched for a couple of seasons and then stopped watching

[25:00] thereafter

[25:01] so he's getting work so he doesn't have the occasional work he doesn't really have an

[25:05] excuse here or

[25:07] i mean this is a speaking part

[25:08] yeah sure maybe him and chow yin fat got busted with like a car full of guns

[25:14] or drugs david keridine's corpse or maybe britney murphy's corpse

[25:19] maybe each of them was like

[25:21] you know one of them was like

[25:23] i get to work with chow yin fat and the other one was like i get to work with ernie hudson

[25:27] it was like a gift to the magi sort of situation

[25:30] i don't think you read that story correctly

[25:34] i think i understand it

[25:37] i think i get the gist of it

[25:39] i watched uh...

[25:40] i saw christmas eve on sesame street so i got a version of the story

[25:46] uh... man so dragon balls

[25:50] uh...

[25:51] so yeah i don't really get it

[25:53] uh... i guess is like a big deal in in japan

[25:57] i mean

[25:59] of her lawyer heard of the thing and probably video games based on the ship

[26:03] only like i did the whole thing is going to see you know that's what i don't like

[26:07] the pokemon and

[26:09] you know i assume that any japanese uh...

[26:13] you know any japanese craze has some sort of card game involved in this

[26:18] it all seems based around

[26:21] i mean what we have to learn a product that you can purchase yeah i mean we

[26:24] should pause our podcast and go into a barnes and noble and i'm sure we would

[26:28] see like

[26:29] a ton of

[26:30] outcast looking kids wearing trench coats sitting in the aisles reading the

[26:35] graphic novels and we can ask them how accurate the film is

[26:38] was dragon ball though

[26:40] there was one uh...

[26:42] uh... japanese cartoon that i watched

[26:44] uh... just out of curiosity i'm like okay this is a big thing i'm going to watch i'm going to see how it's like

[26:50] dragon ball might even have been the one like

[26:52] there was a

[26:53] one that i watched where it wasn't even didn't even have like the level of pokemon

[26:57] where

[26:58] like the pokemon is like

[27:00] the show and then you've got a card game relating to the show

[27:03] there was one where the cartoon was literally people playing a card game

[27:07] i don't i don't think that was yugioh dan

[27:09] oh yugioh? that's yugioh yeah

[27:11] i don't understand how can they fucking get away with that

[27:14] well yeah i mean it's it's not it's like

[27:17] at least transformers

[27:19] like the toys are in the show like battling games

[27:23] it's not like a world poker championship

[27:25] it kind of is by the way

[27:30] oh man that makes a lot of sense now that i think about it

[27:33] uh... but yeah that doesn't really make a story

[27:36] yeah i mean i guess the world poker championship has its own story

[27:40] sure

[27:41] but we didn't really we didn't i mean a better story than what we watched tonight

[27:45] oh it hangs together better yeah

[27:47] my favorite part of the movie here's here's my memories of the movie

[27:51] is after is at the end where uh... you know our main character has kicked his love

[27:56] interest in the face and knocked her out

[27:58] and then he has been uh... resuscitated with magic and then he defeats the bad guy

[28:02] and you know saves the world

[28:04] he then goes back uh... to you know woo her again

[28:07] and the first thing he says is

[28:10] i'm so sorry i was in the heat of battle i didn't know it was you

[28:15] which come on guys

[28:17] we've all been there you know

[28:19] we've all used that excuse it's how the world works

[28:24] like baby i don't know it was in the heat of battle

[28:27] i think uh... i think the highlight for me was uh... ernie hudson's eyebrows

[28:31] those were pretty awesome

[28:32] do you think those were natural or cgi

[28:36] cgi like george lucas' kids

[28:40] or his beard

[28:41] uh... no i think his beard is real his hair is probably real

[28:44] wouldn't he cgi out that goiter thing that he's got going on is it just me or does everyone else have a goiter

[28:49] that's quite that's i think that goes beyond that

[28:52] no i mean it's like a big

[28:54] it's like a baby yeah he's got plenty of money it's like a rooster level of waddle that he has

[29:00] but it looks like full it looks like there's something growing in there

[29:03] yeah maybe there is

[29:05] maybe there's gungans living in there or it's full of midichlorians

[29:09] it could be full of midichlorians

[29:10] george lucas if you're listening we're worried about you

[29:14] get that thing checked out

[29:17] i don't know if

[29:18] uh... you haven't looked in the mirror or anything but that's not natural

[29:23] you really should go to a doctor

[29:26] so wake up call

[29:30] that's uh... that's your health

[29:32] health knock on that door

[29:34] you should answer it

[29:35] absolutely

[29:36] guys do you think we have anything more to say about this

[29:40] i was thoroughly confused from start to finish

[29:43] uh... but i mean it went pretty fast i guess

[29:46] that's a good thing

[29:48] no i mean i think that we can make our judgement on it

[29:54] the categories are

[29:55] for our judgements

[29:57] this is a good bad movie

[29:59] a bad movie

[30:00] bad bad movie

[30:01] or a movie that you actually kind of liked in some way

[30:05] okay can you clarify good bad movie for me? good bad movie

[30:08] is a movie that in its badness

[30:11] it is funny

[30:13] and enjoyable

[30:16] so you got it?

[30:17] yeah yeah yeah i got it

[30:18] okay you want to go first?

[30:20] do i want to go first? no i'll go first

[30:23] so uh... i'm going to go bad bad movie on this one

[30:27] uh...

[30:28] you know even though i think it's actually kind of effective at what it's

[30:31] trying to do

[30:32] uh... i didn't really actually enjoy any of it and even though it went pretty fast

[30:38] you know it's not you know not for me it was clearly designed for somebody with

[30:42] no attention span

[30:43] Nigel? i think i think i'm going to have to go for bad bad as well as much as i

[30:47] enjoy

[30:48] uh...

[30:50] twenty-something girls with low cut tops doing kung fu

[30:53] you know you can't polish a turd

[30:57] that for me yeah did you use that line when you met your wife too?

[31:01] that was the clincher that's what sealed the deal

[31:05] sure uh...

[31:07] yeah i was thoroughly confused

[31:10] i uh...

[31:12] you're going to shake the boat? i'm going to totally shake the boat i'm going to go totally crazy

[31:16] i kind of like this movie oh my god three sixty i didn't think it was

[31:21] now like i didn't think it was good but i i i wouldn't put it as like a good bad

[31:26] movie because i wasn't like laughing at it

[31:29] but i kind of enjoyed its craziness

[31:31] like if i was eleven years old

[31:35] i would think this movie was awesome

[31:37] and the narrative problems wouldn't bother me at all

[31:40] and as an adult

[31:42] the lack of any traditional narrative

[31:45] kind of simulated some sort of mood altering drug in a way

[31:49] i was like okay well it was like charlie's angels full throttle

[31:53] yeah it's like if i'm not on board with what's happening now

[31:56] it's going to change totally in five minutes so who cares

[32:00] yeah

[32:01] sure and uh...

[32:02] it's kind of like when you go out to the club and you hit on a whole bunch of different women

[32:05] and you're just like well

[32:07] i'm going to have a good time with one of them it's exactly like that stewart that's an experience

[32:11] i'm very familiar with having been

[32:13] uh... engaged right out of college but uh... sure thanks for the uh... back story dude

[32:19] anyway

[32:20] uh... exposition

[32:22] yeah on a certain level i enjoyed the strangeness of it

[32:25] which is weird because

[32:26] i'm on record as being a really like not a fan at all

[32:32] of japanese animation

[32:34] but somehow once you translate that japanese animation

[32:38] style into live action

[32:40] there's something i enjoy about it. yeah because you like speed racer too right? i did like speed racer

[32:45] and that was japanese right? yeah

[32:49] it was stewart good job

[32:51] good job identifying that. it kind of reminds me of tin tin a little bit and that's not japanese

[32:56] sure that's belgian

[32:57] uh...

[32:58] that makes more sense

[32:59] okay guys so... it wasn't one of the

[33:02] it was only half belgian wasn't it? wasn't it belgian and french?

[33:04] uh... yeah i mean it's probably belgian i think the artist was belgian anyway

[33:09] i digress

[33:10] you would know

[33:11] better as uh...

[33:12] well i'm closer to french and belgian

[33:16] uh... not right now

[33:17] no i mean you're in the same area

[33:20] but spiritually. spiritually yeah

[33:31] hi it's dan here

[33:33] if you like listening to the flop house why not visit us on the web at

[33:37] www.flophousepodcast.com

[33:39] where you can find show notes, videos, fan art

[33:45] and links to wikipedia synopses of all the flop house films

[33:49] so you can play along at home

[33:51] if you're looking for more flop house stuff check out our facebook page where you can

[33:54] discuss the show with other fans or subscribe to our twitter feed at

[33:59] theflophousepod

[34:01] your support helps us build an audience so if you like the show why not vote for

[34:05] us at podcast alley

[34:06] or subscribe to the show on itunes

[34:09] and while you're there take a moment to write a review

[34:11] links for everything can be found on the webpage

[34:15] lastly we love hearing from you so if you have thoughts feedback or suggestions

[34:19] let us know at

[34:21] theflophousepodcast at gmail dot com

[34:24] now back to the show

[34:31] this is a point in the show

[34:33] when

[34:34] to prove that we're not assholes who just hate unreservedly

[34:38] yeah well i mean you're definitely not because you you love this movie

[34:42] it's my favorite yeah i guess five stars yeah i'm going to buy it for you

[34:47] i'm going to get you the t-shirt and uh... the card game

[34:51] i'm going to get him the outfit that uh...

[34:53] the kid wore at the end yeah it's goku's battle outfit

[34:57] i'm going to get the haircut yeah so you look like those kids that wear naruto headbands around out in the street

[35:02] yeah but for you guys yeah absolutely well you'd wear it every time we have one

[35:07] to not to not seem like assholes

[35:10] we have to have some positivity

[35:12] oh sure we'll have to make some recommendations talk about movies we actually liked

[35:16] sure absolutely okay so this is the point in the movie where we do that wait the point in the podcast

[35:21] because this isn't a movie

[35:22] right

[35:23] i don't know what's going on i don't know anything i need to know i like to think this is a movie of our lives

[35:30] that we're living in sure yeah that makes sense

[35:33] okay i'll go first uh...

[35:36] yesterday i watched uh... you know i put on the old netflix watch instantly you know

[35:42] and i watched dream a little dream

[35:45] whoa you're going to recommend that i'm going to recommend dream a little dream

[35:48] jason robards yeah jason robards amazing

[35:52] piper lori come on

[35:54] forget about it

[35:55] uh... i'm not just going to recommend it because it's got a killer soundtrack

[36:01] i'm not just going to recommend it because there's a lot of shots of girls in

[36:06] leotards uh... hanging out at gym like doing dance numbers although i do support any movie that features a lot of

[36:12] eighties chicks wearing leotards

[36:16] but i'm going to recommend it because

[36:18] corey feldman

[36:20] has the craziest michael jackson outfits the entire movie

[36:24] like this entire movie he is trying so hard to look like and act like michael jackson

[36:29] it's fucking crazy

[36:31] complete with the end uh... credits where he and jason robards do a dance off

[36:35] because they are you know

[36:37] you know it's all about them switching places and shit or something

[36:40] uh... but there's this really awesome corey feldman pretending to be michael

[36:43] jackson dance bit

[36:45] that is totally worth watching

[36:47] so if you are bored go on your little netflix computer thing

[36:51] click on dream a little dream hit play now or whatever and watch the shit out of it

[36:56] you are like a tech guru

[36:59] i am

[37:01] so yeah

[37:02] nigel do you have a recommendation?

[37:06] i'm pretty guilty these days of uh... missing

[37:09] movies at the theatre and one of my biggest regrets this year was district nine

[37:13] which i finally got around to watching this week and uh...

[37:17] i thoroughly enjoyed it it was uh... it was just uh...

[37:20] it was non-stop it was

[37:22] it was an interesting movie that uh...

[37:24] it didn't uh... it didn't try and go for the uh...

[37:28] the kid audience

[37:29] you know it's an R-rated sci-fi movie

[37:31] uh... so it was great to see people exploding

[37:33] uh... to see uh... gore

[37:35] so it's good

[37:36] i don't know how much influence peter jackson actually had on it he's got a producer credit

[37:40] uh... but uh... you know i think i definitely felt a little bit of his early movies in there

[37:44] there was plenty of uh... exploding people so i thoroughly enjoyed it

[37:48] yeah i didn't

[37:49] you know i didn't love it as much as everyone but i appreciated that it had that sort of like

[37:53] it had that peter jackson spirit and it also had kind of the

[37:57] a little more of the eighties sci-fi spirit like it felt kind of like robocopy in certain parts

[38:03] and i also like that it was like

[38:06] partly because it's set in south africa it felt a little more

[38:10] i'm not going to say exotic but a little more like

[38:13] believable in some ways like i don't know

[38:16] a little more sci-fi-y because it's in a world that i don't understand

[38:19] i just thought it was a little edgier than

[38:21] you know sci-fi fantasy so it wasn't quite so cookie cutter

[38:25] yeah

[38:26] i keep comparing it to children of men

[38:29] because it's a sci-fi movie

[38:31] you know for us adults

[38:34] close to my heart

[38:35] adults like you

[38:36] where adults rule and kids suck

[38:39] where kids drool

[38:42] yep that's one example

[38:45] that's words put together into a sentence

[38:48] rhyming words even

[38:50] so we've recommended dream a little dream

[38:54] to recap dream a little dream which is uh...

[38:58] i believe it was uh... oscar nominated

[39:01] district nine which has gotten some pretty good critical success

[39:05] and obviously financial success dan what are you going to recommend

[39:10] well you know what

[39:12] this is going to sound like such a qualifier but

[39:15] i haven't had a chance to watch a lot of movies because

[39:19] uh... i did a lot of traveling

[39:21] over the holidays and i just don't look at yourself and pick a dvd now i i but

[39:26] like the ocean

[39:27] yeah i recommend the film

[39:29] the ozzy based on the television show

[39:32] of the same name

[39:33] and yes i have season one of the ozzy

[39:36] i'm not dvd i'm not making any judgments really i mean i do it

[39:41] but i'm glad to hear that there is no funny when you're in the bathroom

[39:45] uh... but

[39:47] i uh... i did watch a screener of crazy heart

[39:51] uh... over the christmas hollywood is not that that that indian movie with

[39:54] uh... calc ullmer

[39:57] that's thunder hearted

[39:58] crazy heart is the film

[40:00] starring jeff bridges

[40:01] as a down-and-out country singer

[40:04] and that's what that's not the movie were christian slater is the monkey heart

[40:07] that's uh... i think i don't know

[40:11] uh... crazy art is about a drunk

[40:14] can i join you with this federal security will give it a little

[40:18] uh... that's uh... thank you a lot of

[40:21] uh... anyway i don't think he's an angel and i think i think that's all that i

[40:25] didn't want to get a job in some

[40:28] but i think it was a hell of a

[40:30] yet when he gets tricked by lewis cypher

[40:34] uh... i don't know if you can tell that that's lewis lucifer

[40:37] uh... so you know there's a very sighted lover it's because i'm not robert

[40:41] denier with long fingernails

[40:43] spooky

[40:45] that crazy art

[40:46] stars jeff bridges as a down-and-out alcoholic country singer

[40:50] and uh... as a as a film as a story it's a little conventional

[40:55] but in terms of the performance uh... jeff bridges is always

[40:59] is excellent

[41:01] and uh... you know it's it's a fun movie and uh...

[41:04] it's got some good music jeff bridges plays his own guitar and sings his own

[41:08] songs in its uh... like an iron man

[41:11] exactly like that

[41:14] uh... that is song i'm a little bit is it was fantastic

[41:19] uh...

[41:20] but i enjoyed it i thought it was good so i'll recommend that

[41:25] crazy art

[41:26] crazy and i don't think there are a little harder for their own now okay

[41:30] not but i mean i would have hearts in atlantis and i recommend

[41:34] the three of the first three i wouldn't recommend hearts okay

[41:38] was that a movie or just a book

[41:40] parts of my it's not a story of the uh... anthony hopkins

[41:43] no weird

[41:45] uh...

[41:48] so what else we do now

[41:49] we have your mail or anything

[41:51] not this week uh...

[41:53] is our first one uh... that we did in two thousand ten

[41:56] yeah the year we made contact with your make contact picture

[42:00] i will be going to go with two more years into the world

[42:03] yes or no

[42:04] you're gonna find out about that you're gonna see a movie later i'm going to see

[42:06] a movie on thursday so uh... so we can believe the entire decade of the flop

[42:10] house

[42:12] the although i don't know how to do it we did not start in two thousand

[42:17] uh... okay

[42:18] we uh... this podcast has been around for a little over two years

[42:24] but um...

[42:25] time flies you know how many episodes is it

[42:28] uh...

[42:29] fewer than you might think

[42:30] because we do it by monthly fifty-something

[42:34] yes uh... it's very fifty two or something like that

[42:37] i'm sure that will

[42:39] the people

[42:40] listen to this on their

[42:41] i thought we'll look at the episode number

[42:44] and write in and say

[42:46] now you're wrong

[42:48] people actually listen this you know just how do you have these and then put

[42:51] them in your last episode last episode five hundred people downloaded in the

[42:55] month that we released you know why though

[42:58] because of the wolverine in the title that's true

[43:01] that's why there's a lot of wolverine everyone loves wolverine women do too

[43:05] because uh... because he jackman's really handsome

[43:08] and they like people with

[43:10] women love uh... long uh...

[43:13] adamantium clause

[43:15] that's what those men out of their mail i like steel or something

[43:19] that amanda you know

[43:20] but that is a mix uh... eliot's not here to walk in and correct us like i

[43:25] don't know if i thought if i said something he would appear to have

[43:30] okay guys well uh...

[43:32] we sign off

[43:35] i'd like to thank uh... nigel for stepping in in my pleasure

[43:38] uh... body a little bit of culture sure

[43:41] living

[43:42] his uh... i don't think i had a touch of class

[43:46] that's a how does it feel

[43:49] to live in a country

[43:50] where just having an accent

[43:53] makes people assume that you have a certain amount of uh... make people

[43:57] think you're ten percent smarter than they are

[43:59] the accent

[44:00] unfortunate doesn't work in new york city

[44:02] because there's so many

[44:03] there are so many places lousy with brits anywhere else in uh... the country

[44:07] you trip and i think that the uh...

[44:09] has millions of those millions of us i don't know i think i have a lot of your

[44:13] eyes but i don't have

[44:15] it's the accident that uh...

[44:18] well uh... guys

[44:20] for the flop house sure

[44:22] i've been there before i've been steward wellington

[44:25] i've been out to work

[44:26] tonight thanks

[44:28] you know you're going over to the fucking hate that shit

[44:33] or

[44:37] here

[44:38] shinnowski

[44:39] what you fell for one of helper

[44:42] flavoringonder

[44:43] you only take about a few

[44:45] seconds

[44:47] the david like that i think it really goes with that

[44:50] and i think that

[44:53] you you can strength but that's what i think heliosis

[44:56] well let's dance like i think

The Flop House: Episode #52 - Dragonball: Evolution

Transcript

Description