The Flop House: Episode #60 - All About Steve

[0:00] In this episode we learn all about Steve. But really, can anyone learn all about Steve?

[0:31] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:38] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:40] I'm Brock Mahan.

[0:41] Yeah, that's right. Elliot is gone. He didn't die.

[0:45] Enough about Elliot. What's Brock's story?

[0:48] Well, no, just for a second. Elliot is out in California.

[0:51] Sure he is.

[0:52] He's laying the groundwork for his wedding.

[0:55] And what a groundwork.

[0:56] He's like John the Baptist for his own wedding. He's preparing.

[1:01] That's how prolific he is. Not only is he the savior of his wedding, he's also the hype man for it.

[1:09] Yeah, he's like, my wedding 2010, bitches. That's what a hype man does, right?

[1:17] If John the Baptist came back today, that's exactly what he would sound like.

[1:21] But Brock, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself.

[1:24] Stuart was asking you beforehand and I said, save it for the podcast.

[1:28] Well, I mean, we've done one of these before and I don't remember all the stuff about Brock.

[1:35] And I want to build, you know, I really...

[1:37] All about Brock?

[1:38] Yeah, I want to be all about Brock tonight.

[1:40] Well, I'm a TV writer. I wrote for a show on True TV called The Smoking Gun Presents the World's Dumbest.

[1:47] I'm also one of the editors of a publication that Dan McCoy is a frequent and prolific contributor to called Wim Quarterly.

[1:54] Issues available.

[1:55] Yes.

[1:56] WimQuarterly.com. Buy them, please.

[1:59] And at one store in Brooklyn, if you make your way to Desert Island Comics in Williamsburg, there's exactly one copy left.

[2:08] Really?

[2:09] Yeah.

[2:10] Well, that's good to hear.

[2:11] You should run, don't walk to that store.

[2:16] If one of the listeners gets that one remaining copy, we should probably give them some sort of prize.

[2:21] Absolutely. Send us an email at thefolksatwimquarterly.com.

[2:25] And yeah, we'll figure out something from the archives to send you.

[2:29] Yeah.

[2:30] Yeah, Brock was with us once before for Paul Blart Mall Cop.

[2:36] And when we asked him to come again, he said, all right, but I want something.

[2:41] I want a really bad movie this time.

[2:43] And I'm very pleased that you kept up your end of the deal.

[2:45] Yeah.

[2:46] Spoiler alert.

[2:47] In spades, we came up with the Razzie Award winning All About Steve.

[2:53] Spoiler alert.

[2:54] Wait, is that a spoiler for the podcast?

[2:57] The fact that we watched All About Steve?

[2:59] Guess what?

[3:00] We're talking about a movie.

[3:01] Yeah.

[3:02] Well, we haven't gotten to the big reveal about what movie we're going to watch yet.

[3:04] I mean, it'll probably be in the title of the podcast.

[3:07] Oh, yeah.

[3:08] And you put the movie poster.

[3:09] Yeah.

[3:10] I usually put all the information on the website.

[3:12] What's the movie poster for this one look like?

[3:14] I assume Sandra Bullock figures in it prominently.

[3:18] Okay.

[3:19] Maybe some red boots.

[3:20] Yeah.

[3:21] Do you put a link to the movie trailer?

[3:23] Or do I have to go to IMDb for that?

[3:25] I put a link to the Wikipedia synopsis on the page.

[3:29] Because sometimes I feel like we are remiss in giving enough synopsis information for people to follow along.

[3:36] So I just feel like if people really want to know what's going on,

[3:40] they can go to Wikipedia beforehand, and then they can understand what we're saying about the movie.

[3:46] I mean, like, you know, I want to address this.

[3:50] Our mutual friend, Brad Stewart.

[3:53] He's no friend of mine.

[3:55] Okay.

[3:56] He criticized us about sometimes getting off the topic of the movies.

[4:00] What?

[4:01] And there's a lot of digressions in The Flophouse.

[4:03] What?

[4:04] And I think that the thing is, like, to me, The Flophouse has always been a comedy show.

[4:08] Wait a minute.

[4:09] That's about movies.

[4:10] Wait a minute, Dan.

[4:11] But I think Brad thinks it's a movie show that's got some comedy in it.

[4:13] Wait a minute, Dan.

[4:14] Your cat is climbing into a box right now.

[4:16] That's adorable.

[4:17] Okay.

[4:18] Point illustrated.

[4:21] That's the sort of digression that I'm sure Brad is talking about.

[4:25] I mean, if this was a video podcast and we could show the cat going into the box, I think that everyone would agree that it's adorable.

[4:32] Okay.

[4:33] Let me describe it.

[4:34] It's hilarious.

[4:35] And wait, the cat's now smelling the table.

[4:37] Okay.

[4:38] Which, believe me, is more adorable than going into the box.

[4:41] Yeah, totally.

[4:43] Wait, what were we talking about?

[4:45] Now that we've angered Brad by spending 12 minutes up top describing something about the cat that he can't see, we watched All About Steve.

[4:53] Okay.

[4:54] Stewart.

[4:55] A comedy rom-com, right?

[4:56] Mm-hmm.

[4:57] In the absence of Elliot, would you like to take lead on synopsizing this movie?

[5:03] Well, I was going to make Brock do it because he's our guest.

[5:05] Oh, holy shit.

[5:06] All right.

[5:07] It's like a hazing to these movies.

[5:08] Yeah.

[5:09] All right, I'll give it a shot.

[5:10] Well, for starters, I learned much less about Steve Wozniak than I thought I was going to, which was disappointing.

[5:17] But all right, well, I guess it's the story of a crossword puzzle editor, a cryptoverbalist, I believe.

[5:26] Yeah, someone who writes crosswords.

[5:29] And she's very good at her job.

[5:32] She's very good at cranking out crossword puzzles but somehow can't get that same order into her personal life.

[5:37] She lives with her parents.

[5:39] She has had little success.

[5:40] Her parents, Howard Hessman and the lady who was in charge of Sparkle Motion and Don Darko.

[5:46] That was the guy from Heavy Class, right?

[5:51] Also WKRP in Cincinnati, Dr. Johnny Fever.

[5:55] But he was in head of the class, right?

[5:56] He was.

[5:57] He was the non-Billy Connolly guy.

[6:00] Just as Francis Ford Coppola was the director of Jack.

[6:02] Exactly.

[6:06] All right, so this cryptoverbalist, this crossword puzzle editor, lives at home with her parents,

[6:12] is striking out when it comes to finding physical companionship of the opposite sex.

[6:19] So her parents decide to set her up on a blind date.

[6:23] Is it ever established, by the way, how they know Steve?

[6:26] No, it isn't at all.

[6:27] Okay.

[6:28] I assume they seem like cool people.

[6:30] That might be just one of their young friends that they like to make.

[6:32] Yeah, I mean, Howard Hessman's involved.

[6:34] Maybe he's like Steve's dealer.

[6:36] It's possible.

[6:37] Sure.

[6:38] Like a dealer of what?

[6:41] Oddities, curios?

[6:43] I was thinking marijuana, but it could be rare books.

[6:46] Sure, why not?

[6:47] He does have a striking, Howard Hessman in this film has a striking resemblance to Allen Ginsberg.

[6:52] So it could be, you know, that seems like something he would deal in.

[6:56] Yeah.

[6:57] Rare first volumes, leather-bound volumes.

[7:00] And this Steve character seems like he would partake in those.

[7:04] Yeah.

[7:05] He seems like a reader.

[7:06] Yeah, a real renaissance man.

[7:08] That's what I think of when I think of Bradley Cooper.

[7:10] I think chiseled abs and pecs.

[7:13] I think ridiculous gelled hair.

[7:16] Okay.

[7:17] I think of perfectly manicured chest hair.

[7:21] Come on, Dan.

[7:24] Can you keep it up?

[7:25] Think of wet, hot American summer.

[7:27] Okay.

[7:29] So continue, Brock.

[7:30] Okay.

[7:31] So yes, Bradley Cooper, a.k.a. Steve.

[7:35] They go out on their blind date.

[7:39] He meets Andrew Bullock's character at her parents' house.

[7:44] And she is immediately smitten, so much so that she has to go upstairs to her bedroom

[7:49] and redo her entire wardrobe.

[7:51] Yeah, to make it more hookery.

[7:52] Yes.

[7:53] I think that's the only way to describe it.

[7:55] Although, weirdly enough, she does have, believe it or not, she has a few character quirks.

[8:00] Surely not.

[8:02] I know.

[8:03] It's shocked me, too.

[8:04] But one of them is that she wears, I guess, like knee-high red leather boots all the time.

[8:09] Platform boots, yeah.

[8:12] Because they make her ten toes feel like they're ten friends on a camping trip together.

[8:19] So, spoiler alert, that's why she wears those boots.

[8:24] That mystery is solved.

[8:26] You'll be wondering all through the movie, why does she wear those boots?

[8:28] And then at the end, there's a monologue that explains why she wears those boots.

[8:31] I thought it was because she worked part-time for a foot fetish website.

[8:34] It's possible.

[8:36] I don't think that writing crosswords is a very lucrative profession.

[8:41] So she needs to work part-time as a foot fetish model.

[8:44] Sure.

[8:45] And being a crossword puzzle editor,

[8:46] she probably knows the exact term used to describe a foot model fetishist.

[8:51] And by the way, crossword puzzle writer,

[8:55] bullshit quirky job for a bullshit quirky rom-com.

[8:59] Anyway, carry on.

[9:00] Okay, so she goes up, she changes her outfit.

[9:03] Steve decides, okay, let's go to a restaurant.

[9:07] They get into their Jeep, and Sandra just cannot contain herself.

[9:10] Like a dog in heat, just pounces on this poor Steve, mauls his face with kisses.

[9:18] Is she a cougar?

[9:20] I don't think that this movie wants us to think that she is a cougar,

[9:24] but looking at her in this movie, she seems like a cougar, yeah.

[9:29] I mean, how old was she in Demolition Man?

[9:31] I don't know.

[9:32] She's not in the spring of her years anymore.

[9:35] She's still an attractive lady, but they do not make her look attractive in this movie.

[9:39] Okay.

[9:40] Particularly when she doffs her top, because you can see the wrinkles in her sternum.

[9:46] Like her breast bone is clearly visible through the thin sheen of skin.

[9:51] It's her most prominent feature in that scene.

[9:53] Exactly.

[9:54] Yeah, and so that, yeah, things get hot and heavy.

[9:58] The top comes off.

[10:00] so for some reason that's never quite explain bradley cooper's first get

[10:03] turned off

[10:04] and it's almost immediately after he places both his hands on her breast so i

[10:08] assume it has something to do with the the shape and texture of uh... her

[10:12] memory glands

[10:13] uh... or brazier i mean come on it is that it was pretty badly not her small

[10:17] boobs

[10:19] uh... it was not going to be able to size of her bread uh... you look at you

[10:24] look at the people are having

[10:27] you know some gentleman like a proportional breast there are a lot of

[10:31] leisure fetishists like you are a steward

[10:35] uh... yes sorry about getting derailed brock that's fine but i know that i do a

[10:39] lot of digressions about things

[10:42] and stuff

[10:44] uh... so yes so so bradley cooper immediately i have to get out of the

[10:47] situation uh... you know i'm feeling like the audience this is the most

[10:50] unsexy thing i've ever witnessed or been a part of the uh... so he makes up a

[10:54] lie because he's a uh...

[10:56] tvnews camera man he's a smoke bomb out of their exactly and his book on comes

[11:00] in the form of a fake phone call saying that there's something going on in

[11:03] boston

[11:04] and uh... in town

[11:06] you're usa

[11:08] uh...

[11:09] started

[11:11] now i'm just derailing you would not to make any valuable contributions

[11:16] no that was hilarious and

[11:18] well sorry continue uh... okay so so there's breaking news in boston uh... i

[11:23] gotta go i'd really wish you could come but unfortunately the news is my

[11:26] mistress and uh... i must keep her back and call

[11:29] uh...

[11:30] so the next day

[11:32] uh... sondra bullock

[11:33] uh... is is still swooning over this this chance encounter in uh... in uh...

[11:39] i guess i can eighty-eight bronco

[11:41] uh... with no backslide

[11:42] uh... uh...

[11:44] a real love mobile uh...

[11:46] uh... yes this dry hump on top of softball equipment has been so uh...

[11:50] mind-blowingly erotic

[11:52] that uh... i'm now that's not a euphemism for his package right

[11:58] uh...

[11:59] she uh... she decides i'm gonna i'm gonna make a crossword puzzle all about

[12:02] steve

[12:03] i'm going to uh... title all about steve exactly and uh...

[12:07] i'm going to i'm going to use the title of movie dan

[12:10] holy shit lever stuff

[12:11] continue bro

[12:12] uh... so i i'm going to deliver this crossword to to my editor

[12:16] he's going to print it sight unseen it's gonna go out to uh... to all the

[12:19] seven thousand four hundred two readers in the sacramento area

[12:23] uh...

[12:24] and uh... and this is how i will declare my love for steve unfortunately uh...

[12:29] due to his own incompetence uh... her editor

[12:31] uh... sends this out without proofreading it of course uh... and uh...

[12:35] instantly blame sandra bullock for his mistake

[12:37] and fires are on the spot

[12:39] uh...

[12:40] thus making her uh... now free to travel about the country and follow her new

[12:44] true love steve

[12:46] where they're gonna get the rest of the fucking crosswords from like i'm sure

[12:49] there's a syndicated crossword uh... you know

[12:52] service

[12:54] i don't buy it

[12:55] if you don't you know it's a deal to her you don't buy that fox or some shit

[12:59] about it every newspaper in the country doesn't have their own dedicated

[13:02] crossword writer

[13:05] city of sacramento

[13:07] shepard

[13:09] yes so yes she follows uh... steve around she you know there's a three

[13:13] there's a three-legged baby

[13:15] there's a big controversy about a three-legged baby so she follows him there

[13:17] a story big enough that uh... apparently this this major news uh... television

[13:22] news syndicate that's based in sacramento

[13:24] sends their one reporter out to cover thomas hayden church yes played by thomas

[13:27] hayden church

[13:28] from wings

[13:29] yes that's his most significant role he will not talk about him

[13:33] being in sideways he will not talk about him being the sandman in spider-man 3

[13:38] lol from wings that's that's how we all know thomas hayden church

[13:42] uh... so yes so the majority of act two is is uh... is sandra bullock uh...

[13:47] tracking down uh...

[13:48] steve wherever he may uh... wherever uh... his assignments call various news

[13:53] stories

[13:54] uh... she's a crazy stalker basically

[13:57] and like all crazy stalkers she develops a following of weirdos and quirky people

[14:02] including dj qualls from one of my favorite movies of all time

[14:08] the new guy where he plays the titular character

[14:11] who is in fact a new guy he is a new guy

[14:14] yeah dj qualls and katie mixon from uh... the hit hbo

[14:19] series eastbound and down where she uh... is the love interest for one uh...

[14:25] what's his name

[14:26] uh... for kenny powers yeah kenny powers

[14:29] yeah

[14:30] uh... jody jody hill joint

[14:33] but anyway

[14:34] so uh... how does this all come come to a head brock

[14:37] uh... so yeah they they uh...

[14:40] sandra bullock uh... keeps tracking uh... tracking down steve wherever he goes

[14:43] uh... goaded on by thomas hayden church's uh...

[14:46] hampton hughes uh... the dashing newsman who

[14:50] hartman hughes yes i'm sorry an even stranger non-name

[14:54] uh... who apparently takes some sort of perverse pleasure out of torturing steve

[14:58] by goading his stalker on him

[15:00] yeah there's no motivation uh... established but uh... thomas hayden

[15:04] church other than comedic motivation

[15:06] well no i mean like as you said uh... stewart you're like i would totally

[15:10] fuck with my friends if they had a stalker

[15:12] and thomas hayden church's warning to all my friends out there

[15:15] that seems to be his own only motivation he pulls sandra bullock aside and he's like

[15:19] look steve's in love with you don't don't listen to him if he says any words like

[15:24] kooky or crazy or lunatic like just steve wants you just follow him around the

[15:30] country

[15:31] and he takes great joy in uh... letting sandra bullock know where steve will be

[15:36] at any moment in time

[15:38] so she could follow him and harass him

[15:40] sexually

[15:42] yeah pretty much uh... they they they wind up in texas where a a rare hurricane

[15:46] tornado combination is pounding the galveston area

[15:50] they uh... they run into some cicadas

[15:53] there are cicadas in the movie

[15:55] then uh... i guess you know after the the tornado what they uh... they hitch a

[15:59] ride to uh... somewhere in

[16:01] pennsylvania i believe where a a school class

[16:04] of deaf children have fallen into a giant sinkhole

[16:07] there's a there's an abandoned mine

[16:10] what? they must have not heard the sinkhole. they did not hear the sinkhole. boom.

[16:14] yeah you showed those deaf children. hilarious. yeah a bunch of deaf children fell into an abandoned

[16:19] mine

[16:20] and there's a whole like there's a baby jessica times ten situation going on

[16:25] uh... and thomas hayden church is out there and uh...

[16:29] yeah and uh... sandra bullock following steve comes

[16:34] and she comes and she runs she's like she sees steve across the the meadow

[16:38] and he looks good. yeah and oh finally

[16:41] after so many days of traveling across the country i'm going to be reunited with steve

[16:46] and she runs across the meadow towards steve. when she said it it was

[16:50] kind of higher pitched and she

[16:52] man she fit in a lot of a lot of trivia. more trivia. you know

[16:57] as as

[16:59] voltaire said i'll

[17:00] i disagree with what you say but i'll defend your death the right to say it.

[17:05] and she runs across the meadow. and she falls down the fucking sinkhole. directly into it

[17:09] it's not like a rim shot it's it's you know it's swish down the mine uh... to its uh...

[17:14] i was expecting her legs to kick out comically. no she runs directly into a hole

[17:18] like there's a reason that everyone's there

[17:21] and like there's there's firemen there's there's a big crane

[17:24] but she runs right into the hole. not to get off on too much of a diatribe but

[17:28] uh... is apparently one of the motifs of the film which everybody is terrible at

[17:32] their jobs. sandra bullock's editor publishes her crossword puzzle without

[17:35] even looking at it

[17:36] uh... these news uh... these uh... thomas hayden church's uh...

[17:42] newscaster

[17:43] uh... is is more than willing to just make up stuff on the spot uh... at some

[17:48] point bradley cooper drops his camera

[17:50] uh... there's a there's a bus driver who deliberately leaves sandra bullock by the

[17:54] side of the road just because she's irritating. yes these uh... the the

[17:58] teachers that are guarding this class of of deaf children let them aimlessly just

[18:02] run ahead of them uh... and then they miscount the number of deaf children

[18:07] that get pulled out of the hole. yeah there's no buddy system here like there's just one

[18:11] child

[18:12] who is still down there when sandra bullock falls down into the hole. yeah when she does like a

[18:16] pepula pew like floating on winds of love after bradley cooper falls down the hole

[18:21] but anyway uh... you know to wrap up the story

[18:24] uh... sandra bullock uh... figures out a way to do like a counterweight thing

[18:29] with the uh... the the the crane

[18:32] like the crane has already like fallen halfway down the seacoast so they can't use it

[18:36] normally but she figures out a way of like using it as like a pulley and like

[18:39] pulling a counterweight

[18:40] and uh... thomas hayden church has like jumped down the hole because he feels guilty

[18:44] about

[18:44] luring sandra bullock out here so she can fall down the hole

[18:48] and so uh... sandra bullock just adds a few more rocks to the counterweight

[18:52] and she gets up out of the hole. apparently it was a rock mine

[18:56] and she uh... but not until after she's had her like

[18:59] smiegel and gollum like moment where she

[19:02] you know she talks to herself for a while in front of this deaf girl

[19:06] and the deaf girl says that she talks too much. well she doesn't say that she signs it

[19:10] but that's the irony of it

[19:12] oh right

[19:14] but then at the end bradley cooper uh...

[19:17] has come to realize that sandra bullock is special and not just in a mentally

[19:20] like uh... deficient way

[19:22] in the words of the tv newscast that he overhears uh...

[19:26] she's crazy smart

[19:27] like ted kaczynski

[19:28] uh... and he thinks that's an unfair characterization. totally unmotivated

[19:32] this other channel. ted kaczynski was smart in a completely different way

[19:36] this other channel is smearing sandra bullock for no reason this woman who's

[19:40] just

[19:40] fallen down a hole like that's all they know about her. granted she fell down the hole

[19:44] because she's an idiot. it's true. or very unobservant. but then they're like

[19:49] oh she's crazy smart like this uh... this this homegrown terrorist

[19:54] uh... bradley cooper defends her by saying

[19:56] she sees things other people don't see which does not include

[20:00] holes in the ground because other people see that but she's quite oblivious

[20:03] but anything that you're better off in life being able to see holes in the

[20:06] ground that any as sort of hidden insight into people's souls or uh... or

[20:10] uh...

[20:11] you know erudite knowledge

[20:13] but several makes a way out of the whole but if she hadn't fallen in that hole

[20:17] the deaf girl probably would've gotten eaten by children

[20:20] magazine or some shit

[20:22] more people

[20:23] that's fine as you see it was also the good but uh...

[20:26] and also uh... bradley cooper learned that uh... you know central had

[20:30] something to offer a lesson

[20:33] they do not end up together

[20:35] but there's not enough you know there's not a fair where's the wrong in this

[20:38] column there's no wrong

[20:40] you know i was gone

[20:42] uh... says that sandra bullock is uh... hoisted on her

[20:46] on the shoulders of her supporters who just the border basically because she

[20:50] fell down a well

[20:51] you know that that's it but it's maybe just go over and inspiring politicians

[20:55] fall down a whole yeah exactly

[20:58] i think that a simple part of that he refused to go

[21:02] but uh... and bradley cooper looks on shaking his head as if to say like i was

[21:06] sandra bullock

[21:07] you know wicked smart but we can have a relationship but but get god bless her

[21:12] you know god bless that you brought it to your own good and bad

[21:15] she would've been

[21:17] chosen a demon and uh...

[21:18] who's going on

[21:20] should have a nice

[21:21] that's that's pretty crazy

[21:23] okay uh...

[21:24] so yeah i was pretty much love jason jones is in this piece for a lot of

[21:27] fun to be one of those carry kenny silver from the state and we don't mind

[21:30] one has a small role

[21:33] as we said that he took all came next in a mcdainey

[21:36] as people know is a mister friendly from lost was in this movie is a trucker who

[21:41] gave sandra bullock a ride casting

[21:43] but yeah i like

[21:44] though the book as i said before like the below the line cash is amazing on

[21:48] this movie

[21:49] uh... keith david keith david as uh... many of video game voiceover works

[21:55] yeah or the guy that uh... rowdy rowdy piper fought with him they live but uh...

[22:00] he was the boss of bradley cooper and uh... thomas hayden church

[22:05] like a really a strong cast

[22:07] they all they all read the script for all about steven like sign me fucking up

[22:11] and i might point out that uh... yes he's boss is terrible yeah uh...

[22:15] just to continue that the meek frequently puts things on the air live

[22:19] without any sort of pre-taping our way without any sort of uh... coaching as to

[22:22] what's actually going to be covered that sounds about right

[22:25] yeah there's a there's a thing where there's a hostage situation where look

[22:28] there's a dead horse

[22:30] and i'm saying churches make a big deal about the dead horse but apparently that

[22:33] was his trained

[22:34] to fall over when he was a gunshot and there was a backfiring car

[22:39] and so that was a big story that went out live

[22:41] it was a very unfunny scene that we all had a lot of which i think uh... at

[22:45] the park road to get a little bit but uh...

[22:48] how much longer is a backfiring car going to be able to be a comedic trope i

[22:52] mean nobody has standard transmissions anymore it's all automatic cars don't

[22:55] backfire anymore

[22:57] you're ruining uh... me living in this neighborhood brought because

[23:01] for the audience and for the for the people who don't know where i live the

[23:05] all which would be all the flop house audience

[23:07] uh... i live in not a

[23:09] i live in not a terrible neighborhood but a neighborhood where i've constantly

[23:12] hear things from like

[23:14] are those gunshots

[23:16] and i tell myself that they're backfiring cars and you're telling me

[23:19] there's a campaign popping yes

[23:22] somebody listening to the tv too loud we should also fill in the den does live in

[23:26] a neighborhood that has lots of champagne popping going on lots to

[23:29] celebrate in this neighborhood

[23:31] and life has been good to everybody who lives around these parts

[23:34] brooklyn

[23:36] so you're uh... yeah you're telling me those are all gunshots

[23:40] all right thank you

[23:43] any who

[23:45] uh... listen i like crossbows

[23:47] maybe we're going to have a look at her vampires assumption

[23:52] for her a lot of bolts that we think that there are a lot of crossbow bolts

[23:56] now

[23:57] uh... so

[23:58] speaking of

[23:59] crossbows okay the presentation of crosswords

[24:04] in this film a little strange to me uh... for the first off

[24:07] sandalwood as we said

[24:09] uh... rom-com she has to have a quirky job and the job that they gave her was

[24:15] crossword writer yeah that bothers you

[24:18] it does bother

[24:19] well there's a lot of weird stuff like

[24:20] uh... the first scene that we see her in

[24:23] you know interacting with her editors her going in and insisting like

[24:27] hey

[24:28] we could do crosswords five days a week and it could be like the times and

[24:32] there'd be an easy one on monday and a hard one on uh... you know friday and

[24:36] and uh...

[24:38] and the guys like uh... yeah we were small newspaper we can do crosswords

[24:42] every day we every weekdays

[24:45] apparently there's just one crossword a week

[24:47] for the newspaper

[24:48] and i think that most newspapers that carry a crossword actually have

[24:52] crosswords all through the week

[24:55] yeah that's typical

[24:58] we'll read it every week and get a crossword i mean as print fails like the

[25:03] crossword is actually something that is still popular

[25:06] people actually care about i mean it's not a sudoku has come along it's less

[25:09] popular but

[25:10] people care about the crossword so that was weird to me

[25:14] number one

[25:15] and also it was weird to me that then he used that as a an opportunity to uh...

[25:20] not only edit her work but also edit her life the way she lives it uh...

[25:24] saying why don't you be more normal

[25:26] yeah why don't you go out and have a date instead of coming out with extra crosswords

[25:30] why don't you go out to uh... chilis

[25:32] have a nice meal margarita night

[25:34] yeah ultimate margaritas at chilis

[25:37] but also all that steve as we talked about

[25:40] this crossword got through the uh... greenlit

[25:43] the editing process

[25:46] i mean

[25:47] uh... there were there were

[25:48] you know questions like you know number one across would be something like

[25:52] steve's eye color

[25:54] you know like number two across would be like what steve's lips taste like

[25:58] what was strange was people's reaction to it though because we first see the reaction

[26:02] before finding out what it what

[26:04] the crossword actually was made up of and people were like

[26:07] this doesn't make sense

[26:09] well that was fine but what doesn't make sense to me is that like

[26:13] it's pretty clear that they just don't know who steve is

[26:16] like what color are steve's eyes yeah like i don't know who the fuck steve is

[26:21] like it's not that it doesn't make sense like

[26:24] it's not like they're trying to have me make a crossword

[26:27] in like three dimensions or something that wouldn't make sense

[26:30] that would blow your fucking mind

[26:33] i would just be like well

[26:34] i don't know who steve is so that i can't answer this

[26:38] this is a bullshit crossword it's too difficult is what i'm trying to say

[26:40] it's not like they broke the laws of crosswords

[26:43] i think it actually is more like they broke the laws of crosswords because

[26:47] like when you

[26:47] when you do a crossword because you lose gold was it one of the questions no but you're entering

[26:51] into a pact

[26:54] with the crossword writer like okay this is this is

[26:57] general knowledge this is somehow knowable yeah rather than like

[27:00] this is about a guy that i met

[27:03] although i would like to see will shores

[27:05] put together something about a guy he met

[27:08] if only just to see that that window into his soul open up

[27:11] these are the people he hangs out with

[27:13] he has a mustache just like steve or just like will

[27:16] what bothered me more was like in that montage like it started out

[27:20] like normally people like you know doing the crossword on the bus like oh i hate

[27:25] this crossword this is making sense

[27:27] but then there was literally a scene where

[27:30] there it was a bathroom uh... and all of the people in the bathroom stall

[27:35] if the camera panned down from one person bathroom stall

[27:38] to the next person next person and they're all apparently doing this

[27:40] crossword at the same time

[27:42] complaining about this crossword and this is a town where like

[27:45] crosswords are the bee's knees everyone does the crossword and apparently everybody uses

[27:49] the toilet at the same time because there were no empty stalls

[27:52] yes everyone does the crossword while on the toilet and discusses the crossword with everyone else

[27:57] that's what they're doing is

[27:59] working the crossword in the toilet

[28:03] in this day and age of like

[28:04] portable electronic devices you would think that there wouldn't be quite as

[28:08] many people that are going nuts about the local paper's crosswords

[28:11] yeah i do the crossword on my iphone but i do not do the local crossword

[28:15] oh really? you do like a fancy crossword?

[28:19] sure well i mean as a new yorker i have to say the local crossword is too hard for me

[28:25] i do the onions crossword which is easier

[28:27] okay that's good

[28:28] anyway

[28:29] Uly's gold on there a lot

[28:31] you and Uly's gold

[28:33] it's a great movie dude

[28:34] so uh... what else is going on with this movie

[28:37] i didn't really care about the crossword stuff and uh...

[28:40] there wasn't any romance

[28:43] and it wasn't funny i laughed at a couple of the jason jones jokes

[28:48] yeah jason jones acquitted himself well

[28:50] we were talking about how it was bad that elliot was it was good that elliot

[28:54] was not here because

[28:55] elliot may need to make fun of his co-worker jason jones

[29:00] but jason jones was one of the bright spots in the film so uh...

[29:04] he came out of the movie relatively unscathed i feel like

[29:07] ken jeong

[29:09] ken jeong of uh...

[29:11] the hangover fame uh... knocked up tv's community

[29:16] yeah he was in this movie kind of kind of a boring role for him

[29:21] uh... nothing to really say about him

[29:24] uh...

[29:25] if you ever want to see ken jeong as a straight man

[29:29] rent all about steve yeah if you're tired of him like

[29:32] doing crazy funny improvs where he's yelling about stuff and wanted to just

[29:37] be like uh... like a pussycat character

[29:40] this is the film for you also if you want to waste an evening you can also

[29:44] rent this movie

[29:47] similar thing

[29:49] if you want to hit yourselves in the balls with the hammer

[29:52] you could watch this movie instead

[29:54] if you don't have a hammer yeah i mean i guess the same feeling is that what you're going for?

[29:58] that's what i'm saying

[30:00] it's equivalent if you don't want to see sandra bullock slide down a banister

[30:03] and nothing but a talent bathing cap why would you think that's a good idea

[30:07] she's coming out of the bathroom

[30:09] she's put the actress or the character

[30:11] well anyone

[30:13] anyone

[30:14] anyone involved in the film

[30:15] she's coming out of the bathroom she's had a bath

[30:18] she has just a towel around and she's going to slide down a banister

[30:22] and literally

[30:23] you can imagine you don't slide very well but like also she she slings her

[30:28] leg over you can imagine

[30:29] her bear vagina

[30:31] is what is sliding down this banister

[30:34] you're looking at me stewardess i'm thinking about a bear's vagina right now

[30:39] i thought you were looking at me as if you weren't imagining that but that's that's the only thing you can think about

[30:44] it's like she's nude

[30:45] and she's sliding down this banister it's an image that gets stuck in your head and it

[30:49] makes you realize why some people have sex with nazis

[30:51] i guess you're right

[30:55] if you've ever wondered what drove a man

[30:58] to to uh... to to stick it into some white supremacist tattooed lady

[31:03] uh... it is that that scene in the film

[31:05] topical

[31:08] all right the the uh... the cowboy fellow that she was married to jesse james

[31:13] yeah

[31:13] of the james gang

[31:15] haha

[31:16] famous uh... fakes a bank robber

[31:19] he fell out of the time machine right

[31:22] into a tattoo parlor and married oscar winner

[31:26] and razzy winner right

[31:28] yeah she won a razzy for this role

[31:31] now we should talk about that because um...

[31:33] she is

[31:34] desperately committed to this part like she is really pouring her heart and soul

[31:39] into this and the movie is not giving back to her

[31:42] like this is an ill-conceived

[31:45] uh... role this role is supposed to be

[31:49] lovably quirky

[31:51] but you watch this film and you're like this

[31:53] woman has a mental disorder of some kind like

[31:56] she is way down the asperger's scale like she has

[32:01] a uh... disability

[32:03] well clearly a

[32:05] it's not it's not a bad highlights

[32:07] okay

[32:09] zing boom hairdresser

[32:11] uh... now i was you know i was about to make a comment like it might not be fair

[32:15] for her to

[32:17] to get a razzy because i mean her parts is written really poorly in a really

[32:20] poorly written movie in general

[32:21] but i mean and as people reported

[32:24] she was a good sport she showed up to the razzy she accepted her as a person

[32:27] and i guess

[32:28] i guess

[32:29] it went when you when you're nominated for an oscar like it's not like they're

[32:32] like oh well

[32:34] you know the only reason they're winning is because they got like their part was

[32:37] written really well i mean

[32:39] so i guess

[32:40] i guess it's her fault certainly not true for the blind side

[32:43] zing

[32:44] boom man good one dude anyway

[32:47] well regardless i mean she's still a producer on the film she has the power

[32:51] to rewrite stuff if it's not there's a certain amount of culpability

[32:55] yeah it was really bad uh... she wasn't funny at all

[33:00] there's a lot of failed attempt like i haven't not let out

[33:04] i mean it's it's tough for for a woman to be in a

[33:08] kind of like a physical comedy like a comedy in a man's world stewart in a man's

[33:11] world absolutely which is physical comedy to some extent

[33:15] and i mean like it has a it hasn't been since we watch dirty love together that

[33:19] i've i've seen a woman try to do like wacky gross out comedy or just wacky

[33:23] comedy

[33:24] and fail so badly

[33:27] yeah i'd be like ridiculously painful to watch

[33:32] this movie guys

[33:33] but but this movie didn't feature a scene where jenny mccarthy is slipping

[33:36] around on her in menstrual blood in a grocery store

[33:41] that did not happen

[33:43] this movie did have a tornado in it for some reason it had a tornado

[33:49] and sandra bullock falling down a well two things that i did not expect to see

[33:52] in all about steve

[33:54] yeah actually those were surprises

[33:58] uh...

[33:58] i didn't uh... spend twenty minutes of this movie in the bathroom crying like i

[34:03] expected so that was kind of a surprise

[34:06] scrubbing yourself

[34:07] yep scrubbing the dirt off but i just can't get clean i got to see sandra

[34:11] bullock's likeness carved into an apple which is something that i never thought

[34:14] i'd see that's true you do get that uh... dj qualls character trait is uh...

[34:19] he somehow makes a living

[34:21] selling apple carvings to famous people like mother theresa uh...

[34:25] and uh...

[34:26] skinny thespian dj qualls that's his quirky uh...

[34:30] job in this film it's a living

[34:34] pays well enough to get bumper stickers made

[34:37] which is the last thing you see before the car disappears into a volcano

[34:40] i mean uh... tornado rather

[34:43] oh man i didn't even see the cicadas they're saving that for the sequel

[34:48] and sandra bullock will somehow be able to reconstruct it

[34:51] uh... out of the wreckage like she did in this film

[34:53] when the car disappeared in the tornado yeah yeah they fix the car uh... man i don't even want to talk about that

[34:59] this movie i mean in a way this movie felt like a weird

[35:03] like the movie wanted to be kind of a parody of a rom-com

[35:07] you know like

[35:08] i feel like okay try and sell me on this idea i feel like it's two steps away

[35:12] from being a smarter movie that's like

[35:15] hey you know what

[35:17] every fucking

[35:18] protagonist in a romantic comedy

[35:20] is actually uh... mentally ill

[35:23] and what they're doing is stalking

[35:25] and it's crazy

[35:27] but this movie did not have the courage of the convictions because

[35:30] halfway through the movie

[35:31] they start making sandra bullock a lovable misfit

[35:35] and at the end of the movie bradley cooper is like oh you know what she's just you know

[35:39] she's just a sweetheart you know she's people don't understand her

[35:45] she's smart and she's funny and she's great and someday she's going to find someone who really makes her happy

[35:50] you know but like

[35:51] up until that point like it kind of felt like it wanted to be a little smarter

[35:56] than it was and be like you know what

[35:59] these people are fucking loons

[36:01] and you should uh... be afraid of them

[36:04] yeah definitely i mean all the other the way the characters up until about the midpoint of the film

[36:08] react to sandra bullock's character is

[36:10] completely

[36:11] rational i mean they they

[36:13] openly tell her to her face that she is

[36:16] insane and that she shouldn't be behaving this way and you know

[36:19] she is uh... acting like a sociopath

[36:21] uh... but

[36:22] and that she makes a lot of these choices that are typical romantic comedy choices like just up and

[36:26] like running along to go see this guy

[36:29] and like even the world starts going against her a little bit like

[36:32] the bus driver's like man this fucking bitch is crazy and kicks her off the bus or like

[36:36] tricks her to get off the bus

[36:38] and uh... it's almost like the world is trying to like show you that this person

[36:42] like that kind of behavior is not

[36:44] going to actually succeed for you

[36:47] and in a way it doesn't but it's still

[36:50] it's terrible

[36:51] watch

[36:53] i don't know i think that we uh... we need to shut it down guys i think we need to make our

[36:57] final judgments on this film

[37:00] so uh... to sum up again for people who don't listen regularly the categories

[37:05] are

[37:06] is a good bad movie

[37:09] a bad bad movie

[37:10] or a movie that you actually kind of liked in some way

[37:13] stewart i'm gonna go to you first because you were staring pensively off into the

[37:17] middle distance while wearing my hat

[37:20] uh...

[37:22] i'm actually kind of divided on this one because

[37:25] it is a terrible movie and it isn't really that much fun to watch

[37:29] but there's enough stupid stuff in it

[37:32] and enough stuff that is really questionable

[37:35] a lot of the decisions are questionable that

[37:37] it makes it like

[37:39] you kind of want to watch it because it's kind of fun to watch this terribly

[37:42] made movie and a lot of people that

[37:44] have been good in other things

[37:46] like keith david for instance

[37:48] uh... getting a chance to act

[37:50] in a in a movie so i i can't i can't completely say one of the other this is

[37:55] a terrible movie

[37:56] okay it doesn't really work on any level

[37:58] and product would have to say i would say that this is a bad

[38:02] bad bad movie okay uh... there uh...

[38:06] uh... if

[38:08] it's it's

[38:09] it's good if you want to be infuriated by uh... by loose threads that are never

[38:13] explained by the fact that it could not have been written if not for wikipedia

[38:17] the uh... the amount of trivia that is crammed into uh... central x dialogue

[38:22] i did not really dialogue those mainly just monologues yet it's it's it's as if

[38:26] her in inner monologue somehow being broadcast uh... to the viewers uh...

[38:32] such an irritating

[38:34] principal character

[38:35] like a character that every time she's on the screen it makes you wanna go into

[38:39] the other room and that's a large portion of the movie

[38:44] uh... i'm gonna go

[38:45] you know it's gonna be a full spectrum i'm gonna i'm gonna give this a marginal

[38:49] good bad

[38:51] rating because i feel like

[38:53] it's a weird

[38:54] this movie's a weird duck there's like

[38:56] individual jokes in it

[38:58] that are actually genuinely funny

[39:00] because like

[39:01] somewhere someone involved in it

[39:05] had like some instincts to do like smart things i mean like it's there's good

[39:09] casting

[39:11] there's some like really like wacky stuff that is kind of funny but like

[39:14] those good jokes are not connected to anything larger

[39:18] uh...

[39:20] as a movie on the whole it's like completely ill-conceived

[39:24] the main character

[39:26] as we said is a lunatic

[39:28] who you don't have sympathy for because

[39:31] she's just irritating and she doesn't have any like social sense of

[39:36] of anything at all

[39:38] however

[39:40] part of the movie like wants to be a little subversive and uh...

[39:45] you know

[39:46] point out the fact that she's a lunatic who you should not be sympathizing with

[39:50] but then the movie goes soft and you know wants to have it both ways and have her

[39:54] like be like a lovable misfit

[39:56] but there's enough stuff in it that's just like so ill-conceived that you have

[40:00] to see it

[40:00] they kinda want to recommend it as a as a good bad movie the thing is that

[40:04] it's a like there's a large chunks of the movie with

[40:07] where they're trying to

[40:08] get across this message of like oh just be yourself like no sandra bullock this

[40:13] quirky person like all like

[40:15] she's she's an original

[40:17] but no in fact she's like an autistic person and not to say anything bad about

[40:21] autistic people

[40:22] but like you don't want to be one

[40:25] well if you had the choice yeah but what i'm trying to say is you're not like

[40:29] i want to be like a crazy autistic person like nobody's going to say that

[40:34] not even an autistic person

[40:36] so

[40:37] i don't like that point doesn't work like because she's not just like a quirky

[40:41] creative person

[40:42] she's a person with a handicap

[40:46] well we're going to hear

[40:48] from a lot of people with autism i feel like after you've uh... i'm sorry

[40:53] crisis of rights

[40:55] all right uh... well uh... that's

[40:58] that that's been done

[40:59] and move on to uh...

[41:01] sort of mailbag was not technically mailbag this is

[41:05] we're going to talk about some of the comments uh...

[41:08] on the last episode

[41:10] uh... first off we got a comment about uh...

[41:14] about what how we were looking for flop house babies

[41:18] who were conceived during the flop house

[41:21] and uh... guardo the gentleman who didn't who has the hot cakes podcast who

[41:26] couldn't remember my name for a while but then apologized for not knowing my name

[41:30] uh... says uh... memorable i guess

[41:32] yeah that's we've established that

[41:34] stan right

[41:36] all about stan

[41:38] and by the way

[41:39] this film uh...

[41:40] you know all about steve not that great

[41:42] but uh... certainly better than the uh... magnificent stamp stanbersons

[41:46] and uh...

[41:48] but not quite as good as uh... the postman always rings gary

[41:51] so i just want to

[41:53] clear that up

[41:54] but uh... guardo says uh...

[41:57] just a comment regarding flop house babies

[42:00] my wife is pregnant with our first child who was conceived via IUI

[42:04] intrauterine insemination

[42:06] congratulations

[42:07] yeah congrats uh... but he says since the podcast or since the procedure was

[42:12] performed on a monday

[42:14] it's possible that the conception did take place while i was listening to the

[42:17] podcast

[42:19] uh... more specifically it would have been the dragon ball evolution episode

[42:23] i've been racking my brain to figure out a way to name the child regardless of

[42:26] sex after all of you guys is there a single name

[42:30] that captures the spirit of dan elliott and stewart or do you guys happen to all

[42:34] share a middle name that would be crazy man what i would recommend first is to

[42:38] talk to your wife about this one

[42:42] number one

[42:43] yeah

[42:44] uh...

[42:46] yeah i i i i i don't know uh...

[42:49] bill

[42:50] then you are to connect

[42:52] yeah i'll then you are going to be

[42:54] and because there's a very meaningful about that

[42:57] because i could forgotten night i think that's the

[43:00] i think that's currently the fifth most popular male name

[43:04] uh...

[43:05] sounds like it like a title like the title of the spanish robber

[43:10] bill daniel art

[43:11] uh... yeah we meet again

[43:14] i mean i don't want to take anything away from this uh... fine gentleman

[43:17] because

[43:19] you know that he's the only one who's so far

[43:22] uh... responded to our calls you the baby too

[43:25] well it was a little bit

[43:27] but i don't know i don't know whether this counts i don't know whether uh...

[43:30] whether insemination

[43:32] counts as well as the evening out to the flop

[43:34] well it's not like they were fucking really doesn't have to come into this

[43:37] dude

[43:39] well we can't wait to see my religion all okay i thought i was saying something

[43:43] but i'm saying that i want people to be

[43:46] in involved in the carnal act of love

[43:49] well this into our show

[43:51] i want to think of us as late facilitators we set a romantic mood

[43:55] so you're more interested in finding out the people that have sex while listening

[44:00] to our podcast i'm watching the actual

[44:03] creation of you know i a b look childbirth is a miracle

[44:06] there

[44:07] no no doubt but i want to hear the dirty dirty stories

[44:12] of the fucking like

[44:14] okay well listen to our show

[44:16] that's what i want to hear cool yeah it's a i mean and brought him understand

[44:19] this well i think my main concern is that why would you ever deprive the

[44:22] world of a little gordo junior or part of the second

[44:26] uh... like that

[44:27] yes it's such a great name for a need to

[44:30] you don't need to make a flop house related to me and have a name like

[44:33] wardo

[44:35] it's been a pass it on to expect that musical

[44:38] yeah i i also do want to hear dirty dirty still uh... tales of banging to a

[44:42] podcast

[44:46] so i think about it while i do it is that the second that's the only way you

[44:50] can maintain our direction

[44:53] that uh... i don't know i'm not going to keep so uh...

[44:58] i'm just gonna i'm gonna run through it like we had a lot of comments in the

[45:01] last year i'm gonna run through

[45:03] uh... like a good thing or uh... well it is a good thing but there's there was a

[45:06] request that we should do a a flop house movement of your depressing recipes

[45:11] okay

[45:12] uh... for uh... wait what was depressing about it your unemployment recipes

[45:16] uh... as one of the commenter says uh... matt he says uh...

[45:21] i was trying to remember all of stewart's recipes from memory last night

[45:24] and could only remember the grilled cheese hamburger one that's a good one

[45:28] yeah well what is that exactly well you know that we do is you make a you make

[45:32] a you you've had a hamburger before i do not have

[45:35] well i'm gonna flip your lid imagine instead of two buns okay okay you have

[45:40] two grilled cheese sandwiches

[45:41] and then the burger in the middle burger in the middle now

[45:44] let's take that a step further instead of bread

[45:48] you have red baron frozen pizzas

[45:51] instead of cheese

[45:53] you have like cream cheese or like gruyere or brie

[45:57] and then for the bottom

[45:59] we're gonna make this even crazier you have two oreo pizzas okay the dessert pizzas

[46:05] okay instead of cheese you have uh... well i mean you still have cheese

[46:09] probably cheddar

[46:11] yeah cheddar goes well with most sweets

[46:14] you know like an apple pie with cheddar on it

[46:17] so that's that's the that's and then you have obviously

[46:20] you know a hundred percent ground beef uh... i usually go a little bit lean sometimes

[46:24] instead of beef i use bison meat

[46:26] okay because that's a little better for me or a little ostrich maybe

[46:29] i prefer the bison because it makes me feel more like it like a guy who just killed a bison

[46:35] you feel like you're depleting one of the natural resources of this great land

[46:38] yeah well what about an ostrich dude

[46:41] they're in danger too

[46:44] well yeah i mean if i was australian it would be right

[46:48] sure fair enough

[46:50] anyway we're going to continue uh...

[46:53] we're running low on time actually apparently we had more to say about uh... this film tonight

[46:57] than i thought

[46:58] but um...

[46:59] there was the message boards were on fire

[47:02] they were on fire

[47:04] about back to the future part two and they were all in agreement that i was right

[47:07] that there was a paradox in back to the future part two

[47:10] i just recommend that everyone listening

[47:12] goes to

[47:13] uh...

[47:14] the flop house podcast dot com www the flop house podcast dot com

[47:19] and reads the comments about uh... back-to-future part two and the paradox

[47:24] inherent in it

[47:25] are you talking to our listeners or

[47:30] i'm talking specifically to you steward

[47:32] because you seem so disinterested in my long digression about back to the future

[47:36] before the argument

[47:38] go back and listen to the law-abiding citizen

[47:42] there was a there was a commenter that said uh... specifically

[47:47] that uh... he finds it amusing that all of the uh... the comments about uh...

[47:53] on the on the message boards were about back to the future and not law-abiding

[47:57] citizen

[47:58] that was uh...

[48:00] well apparently that was like an open and shut case like there's nothing more

[48:03] that can be said about law-abiding citizen after yeah but there's so much

[48:06] there's a rich vein

[48:08] to dive into with the back to the future films yeah law-abiding citizen you've

[48:11] been served stick a fork in

[48:14] that movie it's been properly developed to the streets

[48:19] uh... we're going to watch it there's a three d one of those come on a real

[48:22] watch that holy shit we are going to know that's the summer it'll be weird

[48:25] though because we can we watch in three d on the tv here

[48:29] we might have to go to the movie theater we may have to go to the movie theater

[48:32] and do a flawless version

[48:34] uh... what's right which will will let everybody know when we're going so we

[48:38] can get a

[48:39] theater bursting with flop house fans

[48:43] i'm sure that'll happen

[48:44] uh... now the next thing that we do here is we don't want to actually enjoyed

[48:49] uh... just to make us seem less like jerks

[48:53] uh... and so brock i know that you've uh... you've put a lot of thought into

[48:56] this uh... yes this is a movie that i saw recently with uh... with elliot uh...

[49:02] uh... it's uh...

[49:03] it's entitled a new leaf uh... it's uh... written and directed and uh...

[49:08] uh... starring elaine may

[49:09] uh... it's one of her first uh...

[49:11] uh... filmmaking efforts

[49:12] uh... it also stars walter mathau

[49:14] as a uh... incredibly obscenely rich

[49:18] uh... millionaire

[49:19] who has lost all his money through his uh... profligate ways

[49:24] uh... and he comes up with a a deal with his uncle who hates him

[49:29] uh... basically

[49:30] loan me fifty thousand dollars for the next six weeks uh... and i will find

[49:35] somebody that i can marry and then live off of for the rest of my life

[49:39] and uh... what but

[49:40] what about that and uh... hides from is his his uncle is that uh... if he

[49:44] doesn't find a wife within six weeks he's going to kill himself

[49:47] uh... so it's uh... a whirlwind tour of uh... all the the freakish women of of

[49:53] high society

[49:54] uh... and eventually right before the end of the six weeks he finds uh...

[49:58] uh... elaine may's character who is uh...

[50:00] quirky, but charmingly so. Unlike Sandra Bullock. Exactly. The quirks are

[50:05] maintained. She actually shows proficiency at her job, which is botany.

[50:10] She is, you know, constantly and appropriately using metaphors related to

[50:17] her job, unlike Sandra Bullock in this film, who is amazingly adept at talking

[50:23] about crossword puzzling in a vague and nonspecific way. But anyway, to get back

[50:32] to A New Leaf, which is a very funny, very, very entertaining film, I would

[50:36] recommend it highly. It's after Walter Matthau falls or attempts to woo Elaine

[50:43] May, he decides that he's going to kill her and, you know, take over her estate.

[50:48] But as time goes on, realizes that he, you know, he has second thoughts about

[50:54] his course of action. It also stars a surprisingly sexy Doris Roberts, which

[51:00] is a side of her that I never thought I would see. I'm not surprised. But yeah,

[51:07] very entertaining. It's a rom-com that is heavy on the com, which will be a

[51:14] nice palate cleanser after anybody who dares to watch All About Steve.

[51:19] Well, I haven't watched anything new recently. I haven't had time to watch anything new

[51:23] recently that I would recommend. But I did re-watch The Man Who Wasn't There,

[51:28] which is a Coen Brothers movie that I feel was unjustly forgotten.

[51:33] Yeah, I agree with you 100%. I think that every day that goes by, I think that

[51:37] might be their best film. Really? Yeah. I don't know if I would go that far, but it's a

[51:41] very strong movie that, you know, it came, did it come directly after Fargo or

[51:49] directly after Oh Brother Where Art Thou? Yeah, I think it was even the same year as

[51:53] Oh Brother Where Art Thou, or at least within the same 12 months. Yeah. Yeah, it came

[51:58] back-to-back really quickly. And yeah, for whatever reason, I agree with you, sort

[52:02] of slipped off the radar for whatever reason. And I like Oh Brother Where Art

[52:05] Thou a lot, but I actually like The Man Who Wasn't There better. And I like The

[52:08] Man Who Wasn't There better than some of the later Coen Brothers movies that have

[52:13] gotten sort of more respect, because it's more Coen-y. Like, it has a lot of

[52:19] distilled Coen-ness, and it's beautifully shot. It's, I mean, it's a pastiche,

[52:26] but it's not, like, slavishly so. Like, it has its own thing going on. It manages to

[52:33] take all of these cultural, like, signifiers from the time period that it's

[52:39] set in, and turn them into something new. And I feel like the end of The Man Who

[52:44] Wasn't There is actually deeply moving. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, it's, it's an

[52:49] incredibly funny film, but at the same time, there's, like, a rich vein of

[52:52] sadness that gets mined frequently. And yeah, Billy Bob Thornton's, his

[53:00] performance, I always find fascinating, and how much he's able to convey without

[53:05] doing anything. Yeah. Well, I think that Coen's, like, I mean, the rap against them

[53:12] is always that they're, like, this, these unsympathetic puppet masters, but I feel

[53:17] like, I don't know, I feel like that's people who, I actually, like, I said this

[53:22] online, like, I was writing something, I feel like this is people who confuse

[53:25] being nice with being good. Like, I, you know, the Coens do not ever, you know,

[53:33] allow their characters to get away with anything. Like, they, they cast a very

[53:38] stern eye on them, but at the same time, like, there's a lot of sympathy and

[53:43] empathy there, I feel like, for their characters. And, you know, Billy Bob

[53:47] Thornton is this guy who's caught up in something sort of larger that he doesn't

[53:52] ever fully understand, but it's, it's, it's very sad and touching at the end, you

[53:57] know, like, where, where he comes to. Stuart, what do you think? Well, guys, I'm

[54:06] gonna recommend a movie that I saw recently, but I'm not actually gonna

[54:10] talk very much about it, because I think, I think a lot has already been said.

[54:15] Watched Rambo First Blood Part 2, and there's this really awesome scene where

[54:22] he's shooting arrows at a village, and all the village explodes, all the village

[54:27] explodes. And there's this other scene where this woman he loves gets shot with

[54:34] an AK-47 by a bunch of dudes with AK-47s, so he picks up an AK-47 and kind of fires

[54:41] indiscriminately at them, and one by one they start falling down dead. And, yeah, he

[54:47] fires way more bullets than would be in the, the clip, but that's, that's cool,

[54:51] because it's Rambo, man. So, yeah, Rambo First Blood Part 2. Good movie. Fair enough.

[54:57] The full spectrum tonight of recommendations. Laughs, sadness, and awesome

[55:05] battling. Hey, guys. How about Steve? Yeah, plugs? Anyone want to plug? I got a plug.

[55:13] Oh, yeah, you wanted to plug something. I got a plug something. First of all, I'd

[55:17] like everyone to know that if you live in the Park Slope or, what, Windsor

[55:21] Terrace? No, I don't know. If you live near Flatbush, you should go to Charlene's

[55:25] Bar to watch the World Cup, because we just got a projector, and it's really

[55:29] cool, and we're gonna be serving bagels and coffee, and I'm gonna be there, so if

[55:35] you want to talk about soccer or crappy movies, I'll be there. And I'll be working,

[55:40] I got a job, Dan. Holy shit. I did, yeah. Talk about burying the lead. I know. I'm gonna be

[55:46] working a couple of, a couple of shifts at Prospect Park for Celebrate Brooklyn,

[55:50] so if you want to see me. Now, this is a free concert series that Brooklyn puts on

[55:55] in Prospect Park. So, and if you want to see, have a free autograph from Stuart,

[56:00] you can come by and yell at me, and I'll sign something for you. Yeah, he'll be at

[56:04] the bar. Probably, yeah. All right, well, I mean, as long as we're plugging things, I will

[56:09] plug 9ammeeting.com. Do it. My animated web series. Brock, would you like to?

[56:15] I'll plug WimQuarterly.com, the humor magazine that's currently now in its

[56:21] third issue. It features writing from people like Dan and very, a lot of other

[56:27] very talented people, and it's, it's a humor magazine. It's printed on flammable

[56:30] paper. You know, the heat goes out one cold winter night, you're gonna wish that

[56:34] you'd bought 20, so you have some kindling for the fire. Yeah, you get some

[56:37] laughs, and then you get a fire. Yeah, you get bigger laughs as you watch it, you

[56:41] know, crinkle and burn in the flames. It's beautifully put together. If I was not a

[56:45] contributor, I would still enjoy this magazine. So, guys, I guess that's it.

[56:52] Brock, I hope that you have lived to regret insisting upon a worse movie than

[56:59] Paul Blart Mall Clop, which was the last thing. I'm gonna ask for a secretly good movie for next time around, but thank you very much for having me. Yeah, I'd request one of those, too. But, yeah, it's, this is the second time that I've done it, and it's always a lot of fun, so

[57:10] thanks for having me back. Thanks for coming, and it's time to sign off. For The

[57:15] Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. And I've been Brock

[57:19] Mahan. Good night, everyone. You're taller than Elliot, too. I think that goes to your

[57:25] credit.

[57:40] I mean, I don't have any, I don't have a background in, I'm not a working

[57:45] screenwriter or anything, Dan. I'm not a working comedy writer.

The Flop House: Episode #60 - All About Steve

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