The Flop House: Episode #69 - Big Money Rustlas

[0:00] In this, our most juggalicious episode, we discuss the insane clown posse project, Big Money Rustlas.

[0:30] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse, I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:38] This is Elliot Kalin, joining the other pre-mentioned two.

[0:41] Wow.

[0:42] That's some good stuff.

[0:44] So Elliot, you're back.

[0:46] You're back from-

[0:47] From where?

[0:48] I was here for the last one.

[0:49] No, no, no, but you're back from D.C.

[0:50] Oh yeah, I was in Washington, D.C. the week before the last.

[0:53] Ruining democracy.

[0:54] Yeah.

[0:55] What were you doing down there?

[0:56] Undermining the very government of the country by producing-

[0:59] Like a fight club type thing?

[1:00] Kind of.

[1:01] More like a week of television shows and then a live rally on the National Mall of fight

[1:07] club-ing.

[1:08] It must have been amazing going directly from that, being one of the most powerful men in

[1:17] America, to complete irrelevance after Conan O'Brien started his new program.

[1:22] Yeah, it really, you know, we thought we had built up a lofty place in the late night

[1:29] firmament, but then Conan O'Brien appears and suddenly no one even watches our show.

[1:33] Our ratings went to zero.

[1:34] Wow.

[1:35] Zero viewers.

[1:36] That is amazing.

[1:37] I didn't know that you could even do that.

[1:38] I didn't either.

[1:39] I would think people would still like TiVo you guys or something.

[1:42] No, the TiVo refuses to carry our show now.

[1:45] Instead, it records Conan O'Brien's show.

[1:47] Yeah.

[1:48] When they TiVo your show, they actually just get a second recording of Conan O'Brien.

[1:51] Yeah, exactly.

[1:52] It's like the movie White Noise, actually.

[1:55] People's ghosts come through the static.

[1:57] It's more like the Don DeLillo novel, White Noise.

[2:00] I was going to say it's more like White Noise 2, starring Nathan Philly, in that it's something

[2:03] I'm not interested in reading.

[2:06] I think you should read the first third of it.

[2:09] Really?

[2:10] Then you'll get the point.

[2:11] I read all of Underworld.

[2:12] Well, I apologize.

[2:14] And that was a mistake.

[2:16] Yes.

[2:17] 800 pages of one.

[2:18] Yeah, I only watched the movie adaptation of it.

[2:21] And I was like, what's with all these vampires?

[2:24] It's weird that Don DeLillo wrote this story about werewolves and vampires fighting each

[2:27] other.

[2:28] Yeah.

[2:29] This isn't anything like-

[2:30] I know, I get it.

[2:31] This isn't anything like-

[2:32] I get it.

[2:33] That's Don DeLunacy.

[2:34] Huh?

[2:35] Huh?

[2:36] Wow.

[2:37] Anyway, yeah.

[2:38] So-

[2:39] That's Don DeLunacy?

[2:40] Dom DeLuise?

[2:41] Dino DeLaurentis?

[2:42] I'm still looking at it.

[2:43] Yeah, he passed on.

[2:44] Who passed away either this morning or last night, I guess it was.

[2:50] Should we talk about that now or should we save our remembrances until later in the podcast?

[2:54] I don't know.

[2:55] You're the boss.

[2:56] Well, I care so little about the movies that we watched tonight that I could go either

[3:02] way.

[3:03] Stuart, you-

[3:04] I would just say, Dino DeLaurentis, that people should remember, he didn't make just crappy

[3:08] movies.

[3:09] All people seem to remember him for, to a certain extent, is his big budget, like schlock,

[3:14] like King Kong or the Hurricane.

[3:16] But he also produced La Strada, you know, a number of great Italian films.

[3:21] Serpico.

[3:22] Serpico.

[3:23] Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness.

[3:24] Cuffs.

[3:25] Cuffs, starring Christian Slater.

[3:26] Did he produce Cuffs?

[3:27] Yeah, I'm pretty sure he did.

[3:28] But if so-

[3:29] And the dude from Dr. Giggles was in that.

[3:32] I guess the lesson is if you produce over 200 movies, some of them will be good.

[3:37] Yeah.

[3:38] Well, no, the thing is like, I like his good movies, I also like a lot of his schlock.

[3:42] I hate his version of King Kong, but I actually kind of like King Kong Lives, because it's

[3:47] so dumb.

[3:48] I like, I don't like his version of King Kong, but I like the idea of his casting.

[3:54] I like the idea that Jeff Bridges and Charles Grodin are in that movie.

[3:59] I don't want to watch the movie, but thinking about it, I'm like, oh, that could be a good

[4:02] King Kong movie.

[4:03] Don't you think, Stuart?

[4:06] Josh Groban's in that movie?

[4:07] Yeah, Josh Groban as a baby.

[4:09] Okay, that's weird.

[4:11] Fetal Josh Groban.

[4:13] Is he a musical star?

[4:14] Yeah, he plays King Kong.

[4:15] Okay.

[4:16] Speaking of stars of the music world, the Grammy-winning Insane Clown Fosse.

[4:25] I don't think that's an accurate description.

[4:28] Grammy award-winning Insane Clown Fosse.

[4:29] Stuart, why don't you talk a little bit about the movie that you really pushed us to watch?

[4:33] You chose and were-

[4:34] You were the engine behind.

[4:36] A prime advocate for it.

[4:37] I was.

[4:38] Well, every once in a while, Elliot and Dan let me pick the movie, listeners at home.

[4:43] Every once in a while, the film comes along.

[4:45] I'm letting him look behind the curtain here.

[4:47] You're kind of the power behind the throne every couple weeks.

[4:50] Yeah.

[4:51] I'm like a Seneschal or a Chamberlain or something.

[4:56] So in this case-

[4:57] You're the grand vizier.

[4:59] Yeah.

[5:00] In this case, I saw Big Money Rustlers at my local video store.

[5:09] I put down my copy of Spin Magazine, which had an article about the Insane Clown Fosse

[5:15] on the cover.

[5:16] And I was like, you know what?

[5:18] You'd already worn out your copy of Big Money Hustlers.

[5:20] Yeah.

[5:21] Their previous film.

[5:24] Worn out because I kept pausing it and rewinding it and pausing it and rewinding it.

[5:28] And it was a videotape.

[5:29] VHS.

[5:30] VHS tape.

[5:31] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[5:32] Video cassette.

[5:33] Yeah.

[5:34] And yeah, it was just torn to shreds.

[5:36] So I knew I needed to watch something new that also-

[5:39] You should have gotten one of those rewinder machines that shaped like a sports car.

[5:43] It's better for the tapes.

[5:45] Wait, but why does it look like a sports car?

[5:48] Because why not?

[5:49] Okay.

[5:50] Because speed.

[5:51] Because beauty.

[5:52] Because grace.

[5:53] A need for speed in rewinding your VHS tape.

[5:55] Class.

[5:56] A little thing called class.

[5:57] Anyway, you were saying.

[5:58] Yeah.

[5:59] Now, is it like an actual size of a sports car?

[6:00] No, it's a tiny sports car.

[6:02] Okay, so like a very tiny bikini model might straddle it or something.

[6:06] Yes, yeah.

[6:07] Tiny Tawny Katane.

[6:08] Okay.

[6:09] Tiny Katane.

[6:10] We just call her.

[6:11] The popular 70s super-

[6:15] Tanya Harding.

[6:16] Sure.

[6:17] The tiny ice skater.

[6:18] That'd be weird.

[6:19] Sure.

[6:20] That'd be weird.

[6:21] Tiny Daily.

[6:22] Tiny Time Daily.

[6:23] Okay, I like it.

[6:24] Keep it going.

[6:25] So, yeah, I mean-

[6:26] From Cagney and Tiny.

[6:27] You know, I-

[6:28] Tiny and Lacey.

[6:29] I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I am a confirmed juggalo.

[6:35] Really?

[6:36] Wow.

[6:37] I did not know that.

[6:38] No, I didn't realize you were a juggalo.

[6:39] It does explain the Faygo smell that wafts in whenever you enter the room.

[6:43] Yeah, my parents came to this country from juggaland.

[6:46] And the feces you were throwing at Tila Tequila.

[6:48] Sure.

[6:49] And Tiny Tequila.

[6:50] The tiny version of Tila Tequila.

[6:52] I feel very bad about that.

[6:55] I mean, she can't defend herself.

[6:56] She's much too small.

[6:57] Yeah.

[6:58] So, you're saying your parents came from juggaland.

[7:00] Yeah.

[7:01] And-

[7:02] So, you're ethnically juggalo.

[7:03] Yes, of course.

[7:04] Juggalish.

[7:05] Yeah, I didn't convert.

[7:08] I mean, I wouldn't have chosen this lifestyle, but I have to live it.

[7:12] Yes.

[7:13] I always thought that the makeup that you wear, I thought that was a skin condition.

[7:17] No, no, no.

[7:18] That is part of my ethnicity, as are the dreadlocks that I try to have.

[7:26] Yeah.

[7:27] And-

[7:28] And you do attend the gathering of the juggalos.

[7:30] I do.

[7:31] Every year.

[7:32] That's in Illinois, I think.

[7:33] Illinois.

[7:34] Illinois.

[7:35] Illinois.

[7:36] That's in Illinois.

[7:37] What did I say?

[7:38] That was a tiny subset of Illinois that Eleanor Roosevelt set aside.

[7:44] Yeah, I don't know any of the words you just said, but so I go to this juggalo convention

[7:50] and I throw stuff at people and-

[7:53] Wonder about how magnets work.

[7:55] Yeah, I pour Faygo off some chick's ass crack into my mouth.

[8:01] I do a lot of meth.

[8:03] Okay.

[8:04] After a certain point, it just becomes the gathering of the meth heads.

[8:07] That's-

[8:08] Yeah, I mean-

[8:09] It's really sad how meth has devastated the juggalo community.

[8:13] Yeah, I mean, it's just-

[8:14] And heritage.

[8:15] My teeth, really.

[8:16] They keep falling out.

[8:17] But I digress.

[8:19] So I made the decision to watch this movie.

[8:21] I hear that meth is actually a CA plot to devastate the juggalo neighborhoods.

[8:26] To cull their numbers, to deal with the infestation.

[8:30] Well, they're not doing a very good job because we're here to stay.

[8:35] You've planted your flag in this country's soil.

[8:38] Yeah, absolutely.

[8:39] That's the thing.

[8:40] We're-

[8:41] No amount of jail time or whatever.

[8:46] You know, no amount of-

[8:48] Harsh immigration quotas.

[8:49] Yes, exactly.

[8:50] So I decided I thought we should watch this movie because Dan likes westerns.

[8:55] I like westerns, too.

[8:56] I love westerns.

[8:57] Well, wait, wait, wait.

[8:58] Dan's the western guy in this thing.

[9:00] I don't really think so.

[9:01] You're more into musicians acting in a movie.

[9:05] That's why Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid is my favorite because Bob Dylan is in it and it's a western.

[9:10] No, I was thinking more Pink Floyd's The Wall.

[9:12] I brought it up earlier.

[9:14] Spice World.

[9:15] Spice World, yeah, absolutely.

[9:16] Both great.

[9:17] Yeah, I love them both.

[9:19] Justin Ticheli.

[9:20] Justin Ticheli, Head, The Monkees movie.

[9:22] Michael Jackson, Moonwalker.

[9:24] Moonwalker and Captain EO.

[9:26] Can't Stop the Music.

[9:27] Ghosts or whatever that thing was that he made with Stan Winston.

[9:31] Yeah, all that shit.

[9:32] Yeah, that's my favorite thing.

[9:34] I thought by recommending this movie, you guys were going to really get on board.

[9:40] Get on boid.

[9:41] I thought you guys were going to get on boid.

[9:43] Hey, fellas, slow down.

[9:46] And to my sadness and a little bit of shame, you guys just weren't into it.

[9:53] I think we were as into it as a human being can be.

[9:56] So Elliot, why don't you summarize this movie for us?

[10:00] Oh, I'd love to.

[10:02] Big Money Rustlers begins suddenly.

[10:05] With no menu screen on the DVD.

[10:08] In the town of Mudbug, population 179 to 180.

[10:13] It fluctuates throughout the film and eventually lowers.

[10:17] To a spoiler alert.

[10:19] It is in the grip of an outlaw brigand named, and gambler, a gambling blaggard named Big Baby Chips.

[10:28] Played, of course, by Violent J in full clown makeup.

[10:31] This is the Old West, I will remind you.

[10:33] Yeah, he wears flamboyant suits and a pair of studded bracers like he's an extra from a Conan movie.

[10:41] And he wears his...

[10:43] Both of them, actually, I point out, wear their clown makeup, Cesar Romero style, over their facial hair.

[10:50] Which is very painfully obvious in the many close-up shots of them.

[10:54] But continue.

[10:55] So he's in the town of Mudbug.

[10:58] He's in control.

[10:59] No one can wrest it from his corrupt and violent grip.

[11:02] But, fortunately, a hero rides into town.

[11:06] A hero rises.

[11:07] A hero rises.

[11:08] There is a new hope.

[11:10] In the form of Shaggy Too Dope, playing the role of Sugar Wolf.

[11:15] The son of the...

[11:17] It sounds ridiculous when you say it.

[11:18] The son of the previous sheriff, played by Ron Jeremy.

[11:21] Grizzly Wolf.

[11:22] Grizzly Wolf.

[11:24] Whose wife is now Handjob Hanny.

[11:28] The fastest prostitute in town.

[11:30] In the West, they say.

[11:31] Her handjobs are the fastest.

[11:33] She takes a very long time with her other jobs.

[11:37] Why would you go to a prostitute who advertises the fastest handjobs?

[11:42] Maybe you're a busy cowboy.

[11:43] You don't have a lot of time.

[11:44] Listen, I can round things up.

[11:46] Drive-thru handjob.

[11:47] It does seem strange, because they don't have Twitter or Subways or things to keep them busy.

[11:53] The Facebook.

[11:54] Yeah, they don't have Facebook taken up all the time.

[11:56] Extend their handjob.

[11:57] Maybe a tantric handjob.

[11:58] Well, I couldn't tell what kind of industry really ran Mudbug.

[12:01] So, it must be something that takes up a lot of time.

[12:04] They have very short lunch breaks.

[12:07] Anywho, so...

[12:10] How about handjobs?

[12:12] Sugar Wolf comes into town.

[12:13] It's the most basic Western story you can tell.

[12:16] Which is a town run by a bad man, and then a single good man comes in and turns things around.

[12:22] And of course, Big Baby Chips sends his assassins to stop Sugar Wolf.

[12:29] There is a character named The Ghost, who is some sort of ghost who shoots lasers from his eyes.

[12:35] Yeah, some kind of revenant.

[12:36] There is a character called The Foot, who rides around in a steampunk motorized wheelchair with his enormous smelly foot.

[12:43] There is... well, let's just say there's a lot of stuff.

[12:46] And there's also...

[12:47] Midgets. Don't forget the midgets.

[12:49] Yeah, and there's Sugar Wolf's dwarf girlfriend who turns out to also, spoiler alert, be an assassin in disguise.

[12:55] Who I looked up on IMDB and discovered is a pornographic actress who does a lot of little person porn under the name Bridget the Midget.

[13:04] So, Dan has been introduced to something.

[13:07] Dan has finally... something finally clicked.

[13:10] And now he can finally achieve what other men achieve in different ways.

[13:14] It's called a fetish, Elliot.

[13:16] When a man has one thing...

[13:19] That he focuses on above all other things.

[13:21] Like Stuart and his large bosoms.

[13:23] And Elliot and his... I don't know.

[13:26] The whole package.

[13:28] Encyclopedic knowledge of X-Men comics.

[13:30] Yep, that's why I married my wife.

[13:32] Because she...

[13:33] Dress up as rogues, Cycloc, Kitty Pryde.

[13:36] Cycloc, yeah.

[13:37] Who's that character?

[13:39] Danielle really can tell her Medrapores from her Genoshas.

[13:42] Her Asteroid Ms from her ship.

[13:45] For your X-Men and X-Factor fans out there.

[13:49] Gateway.

[13:51] Yeah, all of those characters and things.

[13:54] Anyway, it's a terrible movie.

[13:56] In the end, Sugar Wolf does...

[14:00] Should I say the end of the movie?

[14:02] Sugar Wolf saves the town in a shootout with Big Baby Chips.

[14:05] Who it turns out is actually Grizzly Wolf, Sugar Wolf's father.

[14:09] Who turned to a life of crime because being a good guy just didn't appeal to him.

[14:13] There's a rich variety of characters in this.

[14:16] There's the Mexican sidekick, Dirty Sanchez.

[14:19] Who brings a quiet dignity to the role, I might add.

[14:22] I think he's actually the finest actor in the movie.

[14:24] He is, kind of.

[14:26] There's Jason Mewes as the deputy whose name I don't remember.

[14:29] Who keeps saying, oh crap, as he gets shot.

[14:32] But he says crap not unlike the Olsen twins would say crap in Full House.

[14:37] In unison?

[14:39] No, because only one of them would be on screen at a time.

[14:43] Is the other one just standing off screen saying the same line?

[14:46] I assumed there were a lot of scenes where John Stamos was hallucinating two Michelles.

[14:51] That's strange because there might have been two of them.

[14:55] It doesn't have to be a hallucination.

[14:57] I guess you're right, yeah.

[14:59] It's sort of weird that they are not identical twins but they play the same character.

[15:03] Huh? Huh, guys? Huh? Huh?

[15:06] They still look a lot alike.

[15:08] Yeah, they did.

[15:09] And at the time they were babies. They were small children.

[15:12] Yeah, I mean, almost babies look alike.

[15:16] And all of them look like Winston Churchill.

[15:18] That's why they get mixed up so easily.

[15:22] And that's why Winston Churchill and a baby used to get mixed up a lot.

[15:25] It was embarrassing for the war effort.

[15:27] Because Winston Churchill would be taken to be nursed by some Scottish or Irish nanny.

[15:34] And meanwhile a baby would be left in charge of the British Empire.

[15:39] It was embarrassing for the war effort but I think Winston Churchill liked it.

[15:42] They run in, they say, it's the Blitz.

[15:44] Mr. Prime Minister, we're being bombed by Germany, what should we do?

[15:47] Wah, wah. Oh no, he's a baby.

[15:50] But that was the thing, Winston Churchill had so much pressure on him

[15:53] that sometimes he had to just get away and suck on a busby woman's nipple for a while.

[15:58] And leave a baby behind.

[16:01] I'm not saying it wasn't irresponsible.

[16:03] I'm not saying, listen, it was all over.

[16:05] There were times Franklin Delano Roosevelt would leave a goat in his place.

[16:09] Franklin Dela Goat Roosevelt.

[16:13] And Franklin Dela Goat Roosevelt was a great leader too.

[16:15] But, you know, when he was addicted to cans.

[16:19] Anyway, there's a rich variety of characters.

[16:22] And butting other goats' heads.

[16:25] Yes, there's a lot of cameos by huge stars like Dustin Diamond, Ron Jeremy.

[16:30] Vanilla Ice.

[16:32] Tom Sizemore.

[16:33] Tom Sizemore as himself.

[16:35] Todd Bridges.

[16:36] There's also the character of the other deputy who goes on a long trek to New York

[16:40] to get chili from a specific restaurant for Sugar Wolf.

[16:44] Yeah, what was the deal with that guy?

[16:47] He was the comic relief.

[16:49] Everyone in the movie is the comic relief.

[16:51] That guy was hilarious.

[16:53] Now, would you classify this movie as a comedy?

[16:55] That's the movie.

[16:56] What Elliot said, like, you know, like, sitting here, listening to Elliot tell me about it,

[17:01] I'm like, that movie sounds great.

[17:03] It wasn't.

[17:04] I would love to see that movie.

[17:05] As soon as I said ghost with lasers that come out of his eyes.

[17:08] Yeah.

[17:09] Imagine, imagine.

[17:10] I did like that part, though.

[17:11] Imagine the movie that Elliot described executed in the most inept way.

[17:17] Yeah, as amateurishly as possible.

[17:19] With the most.

[17:20] A lot of sound effects.

[17:21] It was the only.

[17:22] Terrible off-color jokes.

[17:24] The only movies I've seen that are less professional, I think, are, as Dan and I were saying while watching the movie,

[17:32] the Seduction Cinema series of films, many which star Misty Monday,

[17:35] which are softcore porn parodies of hit movies that are usually shot, like, in somebody's rec room or backyard.

[17:43] You may be familiar with Playmate of the Apes.

[17:45] Which is one of the higher quality ones.

[17:47] Spider Babe.

[17:48] Gladiator Eroticus.

[17:50] What's some of the other ones that they have?

[17:52] An Erotic Werewolf in London.

[17:53] Lord of the G-Strings.

[17:55] Yeah.

[17:56] There's this whole series of films.

[17:58] There's another one.

[17:59] I can't remember.

[18:00] Oh, and Cleavage Field.

[18:02] That might not have been the same company, actually.

[18:04] But it was definitely inspired by the same spirit.

[18:07] And it is also very poorly made.

[18:10] I guess what I'm saying is.

[18:12] A lot of Adobe After Effects are involved.

[18:14] I guess what I'm saying is the Insane Clown Posse in this, their second film,

[18:17] managed to reach the level of the most amateurish softcore pornography on the market.

[18:22] But without any actual pornography.

[18:24] No, there's no pornography.

[18:26] There's a lot of bad language, but otherwise.

[18:28] There's definitely charming innocence in that softcore pornography that is somehow not in this film.

[18:33] Listen, you can defend your porn later.

[18:35] We're talking about Big Money Rustlers.

[18:37] I mean, whatever helps you masturbate and reach climax better.

[18:41] Yes, charming innocence is what I'm looking for.

[18:44] That's why you really watch a lot of Disney cartoons.

[18:51] You're not allowed to see Pixar movies in public.

[18:54] Not anymore.

[18:57] For that time.

[18:59] It's a very amateurishly made movie.

[19:01] But it's also got the goofiest jokes and slapstick and just old-fashioned yucks and gags in it.

[19:09] Yes, laugh-em-ups.

[19:11] It's this very foul-mouthed, silly comedy western.

[19:16] In the tradition of, you know, Cat Baloo or There Was a Crooked Man.

[19:21] Or, you know, support your local sheriff, but like shitty.

[19:25] It feels a lot like these dudes just, like, wanted to make a comedy western

[19:31] and they put on a movie to show their parents.

[19:35] That same level of competency.

[19:37] Yeah, it's got a backyard quality to it.

[19:39] It's got the level of comedy of, say, an American Carol.

[19:44] Okay.

[19:45] I forgot about that movie.

[19:46] That was terrible.

[19:47] But that was made by professional filmmakers.

[19:49] Yes, but the comedy...

[19:50] The comedy was awful.

[19:51] Which, by the way, that movie's worse than this one.

[19:54] I will say, I laughed more times watching Big Money Rustlers than watching an American Carol.

[20:01] I will admit there were a few jokes of, like, the most basic somebody falling down

[20:06] or just something stupid happening.

[20:08] Like, you were loving that scene where our hero, Sugar Wolf, is just beating up that doll.

[20:13] There's a part...

[20:14] Once his dwarf girlfriend is revealed to be an assassin, there's a scene...

[20:19] There's a male dwarf.

[20:21] There's a scene where he is beating up a very...

[20:24] Just what is very obviously a doll.

[20:28] A tiny dummy.

[20:29] Or a dummy, yeah.

[20:31] And it goes on in a single shot.

[20:33] This is the rope of this movie.

[20:35] A single shot that feels like it's 40 minutes long of him just banging this dummy around

[20:41] while they have dubbed in sounds of the actor playing the dummy going,

[20:45] Ooh! Ah! Ooh!

[20:47] And it goes on for so long and they make just no effort to hide the fact

[20:52] that he is just slamming a dummy around on the porch set of this western house.

[21:00] Great stuff.

[21:01] Hilarious.

[21:02] And there's something genuinely charming about that.

[21:07] Just seeing someone drag out the stupidest thing in the world for as long as they can.

[21:13] The rest of the movie's terrible.

[21:15] There's a...

[21:16] And it's not worth seeing for that scene.

[21:18] I think the worst thing about the movie would have to be...

[21:21] I know there's probably a lot of contenders for this.

[21:24] Is the pair of goons that are following around a Big Baby Chips.

[21:28] Yes, they are horrible.

[21:30] Like a pair of guys who are...

[21:32] It's just so painful to watch two guys try to be like goofy goon comedy relief

[21:40] and just constantly failing.

[21:42] And they're talking so quickly that you can't understand them.

[21:44] But also, you look at these guys and these are the most hateful people

[21:49] that you've ever seen hanging out in a 7-Eleven parking lot.

[21:53] Yeah.

[21:54] And like, oh, let's get these terrible humans and get them goofy.

[21:59] I mean, they're really irritating performers.

[22:02] They're not funny.

[22:03] I don't know if I'd call them terrible humans.

[22:05] Dan is quick to make judgements based on somebody's appearance.

[22:09] I would call that elitist.

[22:11] Okay.

[22:12] Guilty as charged.

[22:13] There's actually bloopers during the credits because, of course, why wouldn't there be?

[22:18] And there's something so much more enjoyable about watching the bloopers

[22:21] and seeing that these are a bunch of guys who kind of don't know what they're doing

[22:26] as opposed to watching this movie, which is terrible.

[22:29] I would have much rather watched the movie The Making of Big Money Rustlers.

[22:32] Yes, The Making of Big Money Rustlers.

[22:34] There is a great Heart of Darkness documentary to be made about The Making of Big Money Rustlers.

[22:38] I'll give you that.

[22:40] I call them terrible people, but then when we see the...

[22:42] Terrible humans!

[22:44] Not just terrible people.

[22:45] Terrible humans!

[22:46] I'm about to reverse my position a little bit.

[22:48] Almost like they're like chuds or something.

[22:50] I was about to modify my position.

[22:52] They're a subspecies.

[22:53] I was saying that they were terrible, but then...

[22:55] I agree that in the bloopers, you kind of enjoy it.

[23:00] You're like, oh, these are just some goofy, stupid people who are cracking each other up.

[23:04] Look at these proto-humans.

[23:06] Look at these.

[23:08] They're some kind of sub-humanoids.

[23:10] Look at these homonculi having fun.

[23:13] Laughing their horse-face laughs.

[23:16] They don't know they have no souls.

[23:20] Look at these troglodytes.

[23:23] Worshipping their painted idols.

[23:28] Look at them, scared of the thunder.

[23:30] I enjoyed seeing 12 different versions of them improvising an off-color line

[23:34] more than I enjoyed watching one version of that line during the movie.

[23:38] Yeah.

[23:39] Well, it's not a good movie.

[23:41] It's not enjoyable or good.

[23:44] Let's not jump to conclusions just yet, guys.

[23:47] There's arguments still to be made.

[23:49] We have to debate this and then go to final judgments.

[23:51] There's something about also the fact that these are...

[23:54] Okay.

[23:55] For those...

[23:56] Anyone not familiar, you should be.

[23:57] Insane clown posse.

[24:00] They are horrorcore rappers.

[24:02] They're insane clowns.

[24:04] They are clowns that rap about a murderous, satanic circus.

[24:08] Not even a... I guess a divine circus.

[24:10] At this point, yeah.

[24:11] That kills people and attacks women, I guess, in revenge for their sins.

[24:15] I'm not sure.

[24:18] They're based out of Detroit.

[24:20] They're based out of Detroit.

[24:23] So they are incredibly violent rapper clowns.

[24:25] They make a Western comedy.

[24:27] It is goofy as all get out.

[24:29] There's not a hint of rap in it.

[24:31] That's what confused me.

[24:32] They've got this terrible, aggressive reputation.

[24:36] And this is a...

[24:38] This is sub-late Mel Brooks comedy that they've put together.

[24:43] This is sub-Steve Oedekerk epic movie, date movie type comedy.

[24:48] And you had your hat on backwards.

[24:51] You had your pants turned around crisscross.

[24:54] You were all excited for some rappity rap.

[24:56] You could not wait for the hip-hop to begin.

[24:59] You could not wait for rhymes to be dropped.

[25:01] You had some oversized sneakers on.

[25:05] Big lock around your neck.

[25:06] All I'm saying was...

[25:07] Slingshot.

[25:08] There were clowns.

[25:09] Skateboard.

[25:10] You know, it was in the West.

[25:11] There was a posse.

[25:12] Sure.

[25:13] But there was a definite lack of insanity.

[25:14] They were insane.

[25:15] No, I would say there's a lot of insanity.

[25:16] But of the...

[25:17] A child who's had too much sugar brand.

[25:20] Not the Ted Bundy type.

[25:22] Yeah.

[25:23] What you've come to expect from your multiple listenings of the Insane Clown Posse's various canons.

[25:28] Oh, yeah.

[25:29] I mean each card in the deck.

[25:31] Absolutely.

[25:32] But it's...

[25:34] Yeah.

[25:35] You wonder like...

[25:36] But it's, you know, there's even the toughest people have a sentimental streak and a goofy side to them.

[25:42] Clearly, I think we found the Insane Clown Posse's.

[25:45] Yeah.

[25:46] Yeah.

[25:47] Maybe they're not that insane after all.

[25:48] No, they are.

[25:49] No, they are.

[25:50] And they're bad clowns.

[25:52] You mean they're...

[25:54] I did not see any balloon animals made during the course of this film.

[25:59] I did see a lot of old English tattoos.

[26:01] Yes.

[26:02] A lot of tattoos.

[26:05] There's a lot of little in-references for ICP fans, juggalos.

[26:10] Like, for instance, instead of drinking Faygo, the regional soda that they are devoted to,

[26:15] it's Faygo brand whiskey.

[26:17] You know, because it's the old west.

[26:18] Yeah, that's a cultural thing.

[26:19] So, Elliot.

[26:21] Is that a juggalo that's a cultural heritage thing?

[26:23] Yeah, it's, you know.

[26:25] Elliot Stewart, I want to open this question to you guys.

[26:26] Reserve for the holy days.

[26:28] Every day.

[26:30] We were talking about how...

[26:31] It's just every day.

[26:32] We were talking about how it was revealed that the Insane Clown Posse are actually hardcore Christians.

[26:37] At some point in their journey, they became very religious, yeah.

[26:42] What...

[26:43] The journey of their lives.

[26:44] What Christian message do you take away from this film?

[26:47] What do you think they were trying to impart to their flock?

[26:50] I would say, well, resurrection.

[26:52] Because Big Baby Chips is killed, and then the next scene comes back and says,

[26:57] We'll never die.

[26:58] And then starts shooting up the place.

[26:59] Yeah, the final scene.

[27:01] The bad guy of the movie is killed.

[27:04] And then the final scene of the movie, he pops out of a piano.

[27:09] With two machine guns.

[27:11] And shoots up the bar.

[27:12] And leads to a shootout which kills everyone in town.

[27:16] So, the resurrection.

[27:18] Obviously, he believes in Jesus Christ as his Lord.

[27:22] And so has found eternal life through him.

[27:24] And will never die.

[27:26] I think...

[27:28] Oh, and Shaggy Too Dope gets shot through his shooting hand at Stigmata, right there.

[27:34] I was going to say that it's that Christian message of just being...

[27:37] Also, the midget bondage scene.

[27:39] That Christian message of just being true to yourself.

[27:42] And not giving up when it gets tough.

[27:45] I think that's the opposite of the Christian message.

[27:47] And, you know, like, you know, trusting in your friends.

[27:50] And in your skills as a Pokemon trainer.

[27:58] Oh, I'm sorry.

[27:59] You've gone off the reservation, sir.

[28:03] Wait, oh, we're talking about the movie still.

[28:06] Sorry.

[28:07] And not Stewart's youth group that he hosts.

[28:09] I was working on my blog.

[28:10] All right, guys.

[28:12] He dictates his blog posts out loud into a tape recorder.

[28:14] Sure.

[28:15] Into this podcast.

[28:18] That's how he remembers them later.

[28:22] I don't really...

[28:23] Like, this movie is crazy to the degree that I don't even know whether we can dissect it.

[28:26] I think that we probably just need to go on to making our final...

[28:30] And are there any moments that we can tell the audience about?

[28:33] I mean, it's...

[28:35] Sugar Wolf has a stupid wolf howl that he does all the time.

[28:39] You like that part, Dan.

[28:41] Oh, that was terrible.

[28:42] That was terrible.

[28:43] And there's a lot of swearing.

[28:44] You love that joke about how Sugar Wolf's mother lives in a outhouse.

[28:48] But when you go inside, it's like a giant house.

[28:51] It's like a huge house.

[28:52] Yeah, there's a lot of the oldest, creakiest gags in this movie.

[28:57] One of those that I actually enjoyed was the one where someone shot their gun up in the air.

[29:01] And, of course, a bird immediately fell down.

[29:03] Yeah.

[29:04] Which, no matter how many times I see it, actually tends to make me laugh each time.

[29:09] And I think that joke is 100 years old.

[29:11] Yeah.

[29:13] Originally, Crossbow was...

[29:17] No, they had guns 100 years ago.

[29:20] Ladyhawk.

[29:23] Same words.

[29:25] Well put.

[29:28] I think you should put the 40 down, Stuart.

[29:30] I drank it.

[29:32] I drank the whole thing.

[29:34] No, there's that great scene in Ladyhawk where Mandy Broderick shoots the hog.

[29:41] Yeah, it's like what Dan was talking about.

[29:43] Like a bird gets shot.

[29:45] Anyway...

[29:47] So let's make our final judgments about Big Money Rustlers.

[29:51] Okay, this is gonna be good.

[29:52] Is this a good, bad movie?

[29:53] A bad, bad movie?

[29:54] Or a movie we kind of liked in some way?

[29:56] I'm gonna say...

[29:59] Tough one.

[30:00] Search through your heart.

[30:01] Look into your heart.

[30:02] Now don't look there.

[30:03] All right, here's the thing.

[30:05] It's a bad, bad movie in that I hated watching this movie.

[30:10] I really hated watching this movie.

[30:13] I was mad at Stuart.

[30:14] I understood the way that Stuart sometimes gets mad at me for movies that I choose.

[30:19] I spent more time on my iPhone than I ever have before.

[30:23] Usually Stuart's the one who's texting people all through the films.

[30:26] Yeah.

[30:27] I'm very popular.

[30:29] Stuart does a lot of sexting during the movies, usually.

[30:32] I will say that...

[30:33] I try and fit references to the movie into my sexting.

[30:36] Tonight was a little bit...

[30:38] A little hard, yeah.

[30:41] Seriously.

[30:42] I will say that this movie...

[30:44] The way that this movie is almost a good, bad movie is like...

[30:48] I kind of almost want to say people should...

[30:52] No.

[30:53] See it?

[30:54] No.

[30:55] Because it's so weird.

[30:56] No.

[30:57] Like there's nothing that is so crazy.

[30:59] Don't encourage them.

[31:00] But...

[31:02] The craziness is done so poorly that I can't even recommend that.

[31:06] Yeah.

[31:07] Okay, Elliot?

[31:08] It is a bad, bad movie.

[31:09] I actually...

[31:10] We were talking about whether this is the worst movie we've seen.

[31:12] And it is not.

[31:14] And...

[31:15] What were we saying was the worst one?

[31:17] American Carol.

[31:18] American Carol.

[31:19] Yeah.

[31:20] But...

[31:21] This...

[31:22] Yeah.

[31:23] It's still not worth watching.

[31:24] And there's something like...

[31:25] It's...

[31:26] There's something kind of endearing about this group of...

[31:30] You know, idiots who put this movie together.

[31:32] But it's...

[31:33] Oh, who's the latest now?

[31:34] Me.

[31:35] But it's not worth...

[31:37] It's a bad, bad movie.

[31:38] Unless you're a huge Insane Clown Posse fan.

[31:41] In which case...

[31:42] Seek help.

[31:43] Go see it.

[31:44] You've probably seen it a hundred times already.

[31:47] You own your Hatchet Man shoes.

[31:50] And you're drinking Faygo right now listening to this.

[31:52] But...

[31:54] Just for some sort of completeness.

[31:56] But genuinely, I urge you to look into your heart and...

[32:00] And not find this movie.

[32:03] Stuart?

[32:04] Stuart Hart?

[32:05] Well, as much as it pains me to say it...

[32:08] I think this is a movie I actually kind of liked.

[32:11] First of all, it was hilarious.

[32:15] Second of all, the action.

[32:17] What about that shit, dude?

[32:19] There was so much action.

[32:20] There was shooting, and the slappings, and the characters.

[32:23] I forgot that Sugar Wolf's other big power is that he can slap anybody no matter how far away they are.

[32:28] And sexiness.

[32:29] There's a midget in, like, Dominatrix Garb.

[32:32] There's this old lady with makeup that's supposed to give really fast handjobs.

[32:36] That stuff's hot.

[32:38] Also, there's some really good music in there.

[32:42] Yeah, all together, complete package.

[32:45] So would you say best picture of the year?

[32:48] I'm not going to go that far because...

[32:50] From what I hear, they're going to release another movie this year.

[32:53] So I don't want to be hasty.

[32:55] But this one is a pretty good start.

[32:57] Big Money Butlers.

[33:00] I think that is probably going to be the next movie, yeah.

[33:03] Or Big Money Clive Cussless.

[33:10] And I guess Shaggy Too Dope takes over the Dirk Pit novel franchise.

[33:16] So this is the part of the podcast where we recommend movies.

[33:21] Movies that...

[33:22] So, like, Big Money Wrestlers.

[33:24] Well, say you didn't enjoy Big Money Wrestlers.

[33:29] Say you wanted to see another film.

[33:32] Or something to watch immediately after Big Money Wrestlers.

[33:35] A power cleanser.

[33:36] Like a comedown.

[33:38] A soul cleanser.

[33:41] Yeah, I'm going to start us off.

[33:43] I watched Mother.

[33:46] The Bong Joon-ho movie.

[33:49] You mean the Danzig song?

[33:50] Yes.

[33:52] I watched the Danzig song.

[33:54] No, I watched Mother by the guy who did The Host.

[33:59] Did you watch the whole thing?

[34:00] Didn't you say you only watched half of that?

[34:02] No, I was talking about...

[34:03] I watched half of the documentary Cropsy.

[34:06] Stuart and I were talking ahead of time.

[34:08] And that also seems to be a good movie.

[34:10] But I don't have time to watch movies.

[34:13] So I'm watching them in segments.

[34:14] So you said, no!

[34:16] No, I'm going to...

[34:18] Wow, this has been derailed immediately.

[34:20] I'm going to go back and watch all of Cropsy.

[34:21] I was enjoying it.

[34:22] But I have watched all of Mother.

[34:25] You recommend the first half of Cropsy.

[34:27] I'll wait to recommend the second half until I see it.

[34:30] Turn it off.

[34:31] Once you get to the middle.

[34:34] That way, it can't let you down.

[34:37] No, I watched Mother.

[34:39] And I enjoyed it thoroughly.

[34:42] So this is the Albert Brooks movie?

[34:44] Yes, starring Debbie Reynolds.

[34:47] No, Mother, the Korean film.

[34:49] Is this the one about throwing somebody from the train?

[34:52] Yeah, I think that's...

[34:53] Or stopping where she'll shoot.

[34:57] No, it's...

[34:58] I'd like to see the movie.

[34:59] I haven't seen it yet.

[35:00] Even though I didn't love The Host the way a lot of people did.

[35:03] I wanted to see Mother when it was in the theaters.

[35:05] I didn't love The Host.

[35:07] Is there something about Korean movies in general?

[35:09] Let me just say my review on my blog was

[35:12] The Host without The Most.

[35:17] Oh, the movie The Host.

[35:19] I liked the movie The Host.

[35:20] I didn't love it as much as a lot of people did.

[35:22] But I do like the way Korean films

[35:26] seem to be able to juggle crazy tone shifts.

[35:31] And Mother does that.

[35:32] But I think it's probably a more consistent movie than The Host.

[35:38] It doesn't have a big crazy squid monster.

[35:40] So that's a strike against it.

[35:42] Unfortunately.

[35:45] Seen it.

[35:46] Movie without a squid monster?

[35:47] Seen it.

[35:49] I'm not going to say a lot about it.

[35:50] I'm just going to say watch it.

[35:51] It's on Netflix.

[35:52] Watch instantly.

[35:53] It's a good time.

[35:54] Is it animated?

[35:56] No.

[35:57] Not interested.

[35:59] Boom, not interested.

[36:00] Live action is dead.

[36:01] Don't pay attention to my recommendations.

[36:03] Is it in 3D?

[36:05] Get out of here.

[36:06] Animation only.

[36:07] That's why I'm recommending Megamind.

[36:09] Animation domination, guys.

[36:11] Am I right?

[36:12] I'm recommending The Cleveland Show.

[36:15] The Family Guy something something dark side.

[36:19] Family Guy Mark 3.

[36:23] Anyone else have a recommendation?

[36:24] Anyone?

[36:25] Anyone?

[36:26] Yeah, no fake.

[36:28] Should I go next?

[36:30] Sure.

[36:32] Okay, fine.

[36:33] Have I recommended?

[36:34] I can't remember what I've recommended on this podcast.

[36:36] And I haven't seen anything lately that I really loved.

[36:40] Have I recommended Save the Green Planet before?

[36:42] Yes.

[36:43] Yes.

[36:44] Okay.

[36:45] Well, because that's another Korean movie.

[36:46] It's also a crazy movie that is genuinely watchable.

[36:48] We can come back to you.

[36:50] No, no.

[36:51] I'll recommend the most opposite to Big Money Russell's movie I can think of, which I guess

[36:58] is Brief Encounter.

[37:00] The David Lean drama about a married woman who thinks of straying with a charming doctor

[37:09] in World War II austerity Britain.

[37:12] It's a beautiful movie, excellently done, classic British film.

[37:17] Brief Encounter.

[37:18] The exact opposite of Big Money Russell's in almost every way.

[37:23] Really affecting movie.

[37:24] Anyway, Stuart.

[37:26] That's actually, I was going to recommend Brief Encounter.

[37:28] Wow.

[37:29] That's amazing.

[37:31] Uncharacteristic.

[37:33] I guess I'll recommend something kind of the same vein.

[37:38] Okay.

[37:39] You're going to recommend some kind of wonderful.

[37:41] So the other night I was watching Return of the Living Dead Part 3.

[37:46] I was just talking about Return of the Living Dead with someone today, the first one.

[37:50] And Return of the Living Dead Part 3 is directed by Brian Yuzna, a sometime Stuart Gordon collaborator.

[37:58] So it is ridiculously gory.

[38:02] And it's a gore that makes you kind of uncomfortable a lot of the time.

[38:06] Like it's just really kind of creatively gross.

[38:10] Like Antichrist.

[38:12] Yeah.

[38:13] I think the highlight of the film to me is that there's this kind of evil Hispanic gang

[38:21] that is terrorizing our hero.

[38:24] And their night begins with playing an arcade game in a convenience store.

[38:31] Then leads to murder.

[38:33] And then leads to them spending the rest of the night chasing around this zombie woman

[38:36] for no real apparent reason.

[38:39] That's the one that stars a young Melinda Clark with spikes coming out of her.

[38:44] Yes.

[38:45] Okay.

[38:46] Self.

[38:47] Yeah.

[38:48] Which is the one.

[38:49] One of the Return of the Living Dead movies has a child star guy in it.

[38:53] Return of the Living Dead Part 2.

[38:55] Is that the one?

[38:56] Who's in that?

[38:58] A bunch of nobodies.

[38:59] Okay.

[39:01] Bobby Briggs from Twin Peaks.

[39:03] Well the whole series is pretty fun.

[39:05] That's the one that's very suburban.

[39:07] So yeah, watch that one if you want a lot of gore.

[39:12] And I'll recommend the first Return of the Living Dead.

[39:14] Yeah.

[39:15] Which is a classic.

[39:16] It's a fun night at the movies.

[39:19] With an ending that will have you talking for hours.

[39:21] In stitches.

[39:24] Wait, I don't know.

[39:26] I got this one.

[39:28] So where are we at?

[39:30] Well, we're at the end.

[39:31] Although this is one of the shortest episodes we've ever done.

[39:33] What else are we going to say about Big Money Russeless?

[39:35] Well, that's the thing.

[39:37] I mean, if you have something you want to say about anything else, we can.

[39:39] Otherwise we can wrap it up.

[39:41] Yeah, no mail?

[39:42] No.

[39:43] I kind of recommend Big Money Russeless because I thought it'd be quick and we could get to

[39:46] all that mail that we had piled up.

[39:47] Yeah, where's the mail?

[39:48] Listeners.

[39:49] Well look, it's not my fault.

[39:51] You're looking at me like I haven't...

[39:53] I don't write the...

[39:54] This is not a penthouse.

[39:55] Dan, where's the mail?

[39:56] I don't write all the mail.

[39:57] I recommended Big Money Russeless.

[39:58] These are actual listeners.

[39:59] That was my job.

[40:00] Right in.

[40:01] And I showed up.

[40:03] I ate Popeyes.

[40:04] What I'm interested in...

[40:05] I ate Popeyes and it was delicious.

[40:07] As you said, Elliot, what I'm interested in is how this Netflix rental is going to affect

[40:12] your future recommendations on Netflix.

[40:15] Based on your selection of your like of Big Money Russeless, we recommend WrestleMania

[40:21] 7.

[40:22] Italian horror films.

[40:24] Like American dry comedies.

[40:27] Clown rap westerns.

[40:28] First of all, I hate Italian horror movies.

[40:32] Yeah, but they see you have a lot of horror movies.

[40:34] Yeah, they always recommend it.

[40:35] And I'm like, oh yeah.

[40:36] But the fact that I've...

[40:37] You like horror movies.

[40:38] You must love everything that Fulci did.

[40:39] Yeah.

[40:40] I think the fact...

[40:41] You must want to watch Anthrophage.

[40:42] ...that I've rated something like 6,000 movies on Netflix means that this is pretty much a

[40:48] drop in the bucket.

[40:50] The fact that I rated Big Money...

[40:51] But this is the kind of drop in the bucket that stains the whole bucket.

[40:55] Yeah, did you hear him pull it out and measure it just then?

[40:58] 6,000 movies, he says.

[41:00] Yeah, great.

[41:01] Rated 6,000 movies, whatever.

[41:02] No, I think that...

[41:03] Big deal.

[41:04] I'm not really...

[41:05] I watched a movie.

[41:06] Listen, I watch movies all the time.

[41:07] It doesn't mean that I rate them.

[41:08] That's less a bragging right than something...

[41:09] I just watched Big Money Russeless.

[41:11] ...places me on the artistic spectrum somewhere.

[41:14] The fact that I've rated 6,000...

[41:16] Now suddenly he thinks he's an artistic type.

[41:18] Yeah.

[41:19] Artistic spectrum.

[41:20] Spectrum.

[41:21] Listen to Mr. Big Word over here.

[41:22] Look at this.

[41:23] $50 words over here.

[41:24] All right.

[41:25] I'll write dictionary.

[41:26] Now I'm regretting not just wrapping the episode up when I had the chance.

[41:29] See?

[41:30] It's all about wrapping with him tonight.

[41:32] Like the insane clown bozzies.

[41:35] I guess what we're saying is, listeners, please send in some mail so we have something to

[41:40] talk about because the next movie, who knows, it may be even shorter and dumber than Big

[41:44] Money Russeless.

[41:45] It's impossible.

[41:46] Probably.

[41:47] If anyone has any suggestion...

[41:49] Because if we watch Jonah Hex next time, I think it's 82 minutes long.

[41:52] It's very short.

[41:53] But that looks really good.

[41:54] He's got like Gatling guns on the side of his horse.

[41:57] Yeah.

[41:58] And a train blows up, I think.

[41:59] Yeah.

[42:00] By the way, this is...

[42:01] We're talking about more theme months.

[42:02] If we do Jonah Hex, this is unofficially the anachronistic Western month.

[42:05] I think that would be great.

[42:07] I would love to do that.

[42:08] Yeah.

[42:09] We could watch this.

[42:10] We could watch...

[42:11] Wild Wild West.

[42:13] Wild Wild West.

[42:15] We could watch...

[42:18] Laser Westerns from...

[42:21] Computer Westerns.

[42:22] Westworld.

[42:23] We can watch the video for Knights of Cydonia by Air.

[42:26] Okay.

[42:27] Sure.

[42:28] Whatever the name is.

[42:29] Is that the name of that band?

[42:30] We could throw away the entire format of the show.

[42:33] We can do whatever we want, guys.

[42:35] Listen, it's our show.

[42:36] Yeah, we can just...

[42:37] What is the man going to tell us we can't do that?

[42:39] The suits, the network?

[42:41] Come on.

[42:42] We can do an episode all about that episode of Fringe that Elliot loves.

[42:46] I don't know who you're talking about.

[42:48] You know that episode of Fringe Elliot's been talking about?

[42:50] I don't...

[42:51] We can just do an entire episode about that.

[42:53] Don't really watch Fringe.

[42:54] Yeah, but you were saying that...

[42:55] Oh, no.

[42:56] It was...

[42:57] It was Leverage.

[42:58] It was Leverage.

[42:59] Same thing.

[43:00] They both...

[43:01] Wow.

[43:02] They both have names that don't make sense.

[43:03] A bunch of angry Fringe and Leverage watchers.

[43:06] Fringe is an X-Files ripoff.

[43:08] Leverage is about con artists that stop criminals.

[43:12] That's the thing.

[43:13] It's like a serial killer that can only kill other serial killers.

[43:16] Yeah.

[43:17] Who's the best person...

[43:19] It takes a thief to catch a thief.

[43:21] Who's the best person at preventing crimes?

[43:23] That's not actually true.

[43:24] A criminal.

[43:25] Yeah, that's not true either.

[43:26] Actually, policemen.

[43:28] Turn out to be the best at catching thieves and stopping crimes.

[43:31] Ironically, police are the best at that particular job.

[43:35] Ironically, the crook has been caught by the very person.

[43:38] Yeah, but how long can they stare into the abyss before they turn into monsters?

[43:42] 20 years and then they retire.

[43:44] Here's my question.

[43:45] Here's my question that I brought up on Twitter today, but maybe you guys can answer.

[43:49] So is RoboCop eligible for a pension by this point?

[43:53] Can he retire and take a side job or does he just have to keep...

[43:57] Does the police department own him?

[43:59] Yeah, I mean, does he have to give up his robot body?

[44:02] Yeah, when he turns in his badge, does he also turn in his robotics?

[44:05] Yeah, I mean, that's police equipment.

[44:07] I think this is a case for the future Supreme Court.

[44:10] I mean, there is a certain amount of organic material in RoboCop.

[44:14] And he's got a human brain.

[44:15] Yeah.

[44:16] I guess, how much meat do you need to be a citizen?

[44:19] Wow.

[44:20] So listeners, write in with your thoughts.

[44:22] So would that make Ed 209 a citizen?

[44:23] No, because Ed 209 is just robot.

[44:25] Okay.

[44:26] Listeners, write down your thoughts.

[44:28] Bury them in a wall.

[44:29] No, send them to Dan.

[44:31] What was that guy?

[44:33] Send all this stuff to Flophouse.

[44:36] Flophouse questions, courtesy of Dan McCoy.

[44:38] 1-1-1 Dan McCoy Plaza.

[44:41] McCoyville, New York.

[44:44] 1-1-2-1 McCoy.

[44:46] USA.

[44:47] USA.

[44:48] So wait, who's the bad guy in RoboCop 2?

[44:50] Was that guy Kane, the evil drug dealer who gets turned into...

[44:53] By the way...

[44:54] Yes, I believe so.

[44:55] If you have a question or a thought that won't irritate me...

[44:58] Because RoboCop 3, it's the ninjas.

[45:00] You can email that to...

[45:02] Ninjas vs RoboCop.

[45:03] That's a terrible idea.

[45:04] Do they have monofilament knives or anything?

[45:07] They have swords.

[45:08] That's not going to kill RoboCop.

[45:10] Listen, Red from that 70s show just stabbed a pipe into his chest in the first movie.

[45:17] And then he dissolved.

[45:18] No, that's a different character.

[45:19] That was a completely different character.

[45:21] Have you seen RoboCop?

[45:22] Yeah.

[45:23] Red was the one who kept shouting about Dick Jones.

[45:26] And he goes, can you fly, Bobby?

[45:28] And then throws him at a car.

[45:29] Yeah.

[45:30] Alright.

[45:32] It's a great movie.

[45:33] We should have watched RoboCop.

[45:34] Guys, let's do it.

[45:35] Or Big Money RoboCops.

[45:38] The Insane Cyborg Posse.

[45:40] If you have a question or a thought that will not irritate and dismay me...

[45:45] Here's a hint.

[45:46] You can send it to the podcast at...

[45:47] Let's not put that on reasonably high bar.

[45:50] Because you are dismayed or irritated by so many things.

[45:53] This is true.

[45:55] Okay, if you want to send a message to the Flophouse, you can do it at

[45:59] TheFlophousePodcast at gmail.com

[46:02] And that would avoid this sort of freeform gibberish that you're getting at the end of this episode of the podcast.

[46:09] So wait, this isn't that... I thought this was pretty good stuff.

[46:12] I mean, I wrote all of this down.

[46:15] Yeah, sure.

[46:16] It's all carefully scripted.

[46:18] I don't know about you guys, but I need this to work.

[46:22] I don't have very much left, guys.

[46:24] It's been a rough week.

[46:25] You've got a lot to look forward to.

[46:26] Oh, okay.

[46:27] Like what?

[46:29] Elliot and I are taking salsa lessons on Saturday.

[46:31] Yeah.

[46:32] Making salsa.

[46:33] Caliente.

[46:34] No, actually, it'll be quite mild.

[46:36] Oh.

[46:37] Elliot can't hit his tummy.

[46:39] He has to drink a lot of milk when he eats spicy food.

[46:42] And just in general.

[46:44] He likes milk.

[46:46] I'm lactose super tolerant. I actually need it.

[46:52] Lactose is a-okay with you.

[46:54] So, um...

[46:56] What else do we have to talk about?

[46:58] Before we pull out the newspaper and start riffing on today's headlines.

[47:03] Who likes to work out? Anybody?

[47:05] Let's sign off.

[47:06] Have you ever noticed how when you're at the gym, there's the one guy...

[47:08] Anybody? Anybody?

[47:10] Working out? Anybody?

[47:12] Before that happens...

[47:13] Big Money Rustlers. Anybody in Rustlers?

[47:15] Big Money?

[47:16] Dan McCoy.

[47:17] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[47:18] I think I'm still Elliot Kalin.

[47:20] Good night, everyone.

[47:21] Man, that was bad.

[47:24] It's one in one eye out the other.

[47:26] Dan, I like this new hairdo.

[47:28] I don't know if it's a new-what?

[47:30] What's going on?

[47:32] Your hair is insane in the back.

[47:34] Yeah, what's going on?

[47:36] It's like you've been attacked by a flock of birds.

[47:38] You just managed to get here.

[47:40] I don't have any material in my hair.

[47:42] You're gonna have a tight five on your hair.

[47:44] What's the deal with hair?

[47:46] Did you hear about this hair thing?

[47:48] Who here has hair?

[47:49] Anybody?

[47:50] It's like you got a bunch of hair.

[47:53] Anybody?

[47:54] It's like you got a bunch of string on your head.

[47:56] It's just growing.

[47:58] It's a part of my body, but I gotta cut it off.

[48:00] Hey, stop when you get to the arms, okay, Barber?

The Flop House: Episode #69 - Big Money Rustlas

Transcript

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