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The Flop House: Episode #84 - Sucker Punch
Transcript
Dan McCoy
[0:00]
After our week off, we return with the very definition of an unpleasant surprise.
[0:05]
We discuss Sucker Punch.
Elliott Kalan
[0:30]
Sucker Punch
[1:00]
Sucker Punch
[1:30]
Sucker Punch
[1:32]
Sucker Punch
[1:34]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[1:36]
Sucker Punch
[1:38]
Sucker Punch
[1:40]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[1:42]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[1:44]
Sucker Punch
[1:46]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[1:48]
Sucker Punch
[1:50]
Sucker Punch
[1:52]
Sucker Punch
[1:54]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[1:56]
Sucker Punch
[1:58]
Sucker Punch
[2:00]
Sucker Punch
[2:02]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[2:04]
Sucker Punch
[2:06]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[2:08]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[2:10]
Sucker Punch
[2:12]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[2:14]
Sucker Punch
[2:16]
Sucker Punch
[2:18]
Sucker Punch
[2:20]
Sucker Punch
[2:22]
Sucker Punch
[2:22]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[2:22]
Sucker Punch
[2:24]
Sucker Punch
[2:24]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[2:24]
Sucker Punch
[2:26]
Sucker Punch
[2:28]
Sucker Punch
[2:28]
Sucker Punch
[2:28]
Sucker Punch
[2:28]
Sucker Punch
[2:28]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[2:28]
Sucker Punch
[2:30]
Sucker Punch
[2:30]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[2:30]
Sucker Punch
[2:32]
Sucker Punch
[2:34]
Sucker Punch
[2:34]
Sucker Punch
[2:34]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[2:34]
Sucker Punch
[2:35]
Sucker Punch
[2:37]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[2:37]
Sucker Punch
[2:39]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[2:39]
Sucker Punch
[2:40]
Sucker Punch
[2:42]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[2:42]
Sucker Punch
[2:44]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[2:44]
Sucker Punch
[2:46]
Sucker Punch
[2:47]
Sucker Punch
[2:48]
Sucker Punch
[2:48]
Sucker Punch
[2:48]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[2:48]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[2:49]
Sucker Punch
[2:50]
Sucker Punch
[2:51]
Sucker Punch
[2:51]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[2:51]
Sucker Punch
[2:52]
Sucker Punch
[2:53]
Sucker Punch
[2:54]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[2:54]
Sucker Punch
[2:55]
Sucker Punch
[2:56]
Sucker Punch
[2:57]
Sucker Punch
[2:58]
Sucker Punch
[2:58]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[2:58]
Sucker Punch
[2:59]
Sucker Punch
[3:00]
Sucker Punch
[3:01]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:01]
Sucker Punch
[3:02]
Sucker Punch
[3:03]
Sucker Punch
[3:04]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:04]
Sucker Punch
[3:05]
Sucker Punch
[3:06]
Sucker Punch
[3:07]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:07]
Sucker Punch
[3:08]
Sucker Punch
[3:08]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:08]
Sucker Punch
[3:09]
Sucker Punch
[3:10]
Sucker Punch
[3:10]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:10]
Sucker Punch
[3:11]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[3:11]
Sucker Punch
[3:12]
Sucker Punch
[3:13]
Sucker Punch
[3:13]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[3:13]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:14]
Sucker Punch
[3:15]
Sucker Punch
[3:16]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:16]
Sucker Punch
[3:17]
Sucker Punch
[3:18]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:18]
Sucker Punch
[3:19]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:19]
Sucker Punch
[3:20]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:20]
Sucker Punch
[3:21]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:21]
Sucker Punch
[3:22]
Sucker Punch
[3:22]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:22]
Sucker Punch
[3:23]
Sucker Punch
[3:24]
Sucker Punch
[3:25]
Sucker Punch
[3:25]
Sucker Punch
[3:25]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:25]
Sucker Punch
[3:26]
Sucker Punch
[3:27]
Sucker Punch
[3:28]
Sucker Punch
[3:28]
Sucker Punch
[3:28]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:28]
Sucker Punch
[3:29]
Sucker Punch
[3:30]
Sucker Punch
[3:31]
Sucker Punch
[3:31]
Sucker Punch
[3:31]
Sucker Punch
[3:31]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:31]
Sucker Punch
[3:32]
Sucker Punch
[3:32]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:32]
Sucker Punch
[3:33]
Sucker Punch
[3:34]
Sucker Punch
[3:35]
Sucker Punch
[3:35]
Sucker Punch
[3:35]
Sucker Punch
[3:35]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:35]
Sucker Punch
[3:36]
Sucker Punch
[3:37]
Sucker Punch
[3:37]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:37]
Sucker Punch
[3:38]
Sucker Punch
[3:39]
Sucker Punch
[3:40]
Sucker Punch
[3:40]
Sucker Punch
[3:40]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:40]
Sucker Punch
[3:41]
Sucker Punch
[3:42]
Sucker Punch
[3:43]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:43]
Sucker Punch
[3:44]
Sucker Punch
[3:45]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[3:45]
Sucker Punch
[3:46]
Sucker Punch
[3:47]
Sucker Punch
[3:47]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:47]
Sucker Punch
[3:48]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:48]
Sucker Punch
[3:49]
Sucker Punch
[3:50]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:50]
Sucker Punch
[3:51]
Sucker Punch
[3:52]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[3:52]
Sucker Punch
[3:53]
Sucker Punch
[3:54]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[3:54]
Sucker Punch
[3:55]
Sucker Punch
[3:56]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[3:56]
Sucker Punch
[3:57]
Sucker Punch
[3:58]
Sucker Punch
[3:58]
Sucker Punch
[3:58]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[3:58]
Sucker Punch
[3:59]
Sucker Punch
[4:00]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:01]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:02]
Sucker Punch
[4:03]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:03]
Sucker Punch
[4:04]
Sucker Punch
[4:05]
Sucker Punch
[4:05]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:05]
Sucker Punch
[4:06]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:06]
Sucker Punch
[4:07]
Sucker Punch
[4:08]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:08]
Sucker Punch
[4:09]
Sucker Punch
[4:10]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:10]
Sucker Punch
[4:11]
Sucker Punch
[4:12]
Sucker Punch
[4:12]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:12]
Sucker Punch
[4:13]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:13]
Sucker Punch
[4:14]
Sucker Punch
[4:15]
Sucker Punch
[4:16]
Sucker Punch
[4:17]
Sucker Punch
[4:17]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:17]
Sucker Punch
[4:18]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:18]
Sucker Punch
[4:19]
Sucker Punch
[4:20]
Sucker Punch
[4:21]
Sucker Punch
[4:21]
Sucker Punch
[4:21]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:21]
Sucker Punch
[4:22]
Sucker Punch
[4:23]
Sucker Punch
[4:24]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:24]
Sucker Punch
[4:25]
Sucker Punch
[4:26]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:26]
Sucker Punch
[4:27]
Sucker Punch
[4:28]
Sucker Punch
[4:29]
Sucker Punch
[4:30]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:30]
Sucker Punch
[4:31]
Sucker Punch
[4:32]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:32]
Sucker Punch
[4:33]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:33]
Sucker Punch
[4:34]
Sucker Punch
[4:35]
Sucker Punch
[4:35]
Sucker Punch
[4:35]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:35]
Sucker Punch
[4:36]
Sucker Punch
[4:37]
Sucker Punch
[4:38]
Sucker Punch
[4:38]
Sucker Punch
[4:38]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:38]
Sucker Punch
[4:39]
Sucker Punch
[4:40]
Sucker Punch
[4:41]
Sucker Punch
[4:41]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:41]
Sucker Punch
[4:42]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:42]
Sucker Punch
[4:43]
Sucker Punch
[4:44]
Sucker Punch
[4:44]
Sucker Punch
[4:44]
Sucker Punch
[4:44]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:44]
Sucker Punch
[4:45]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:45]
Sucker Punch
[4:46]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:46]
Sucker Punch
[4:47]
Sucker Punch
[4:48]
Sucker Punch
[4:48]
Sucker Punch
[4:48]
Sucker Punch
[4:48]
Sucker Punch
[4:48]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:48]
Sucker Punch
[4:49]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:49]
Sucker Punch
[4:50]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:50]
Sucker Punch
[4:51]
Sucker Punch
[4:52]
Sucker Punch
[4:53]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:53]
Sucker Punch
[4:54]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[4:54]
Sucker Punch
[4:55]
Sucker Punch
[4:56]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:56]
Sucker Punch
[4:57]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:57]
Sucker Punch
[4:58]
Sucker Punch
[4:59]
Sucker Punch
[4:59]
Sucker Punch
[4:59]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[4:59]
Sucker Punch
[5:00]
Sucker Punch
[5:01]
Sucker Punch
[5:02]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[5:02]
Sucker Punch
[5:03]
Sucker Punch
[5:04]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[5:04]
Sucker Punch
[5:05]
Sucker Punch
[5:06]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[5:06]
Sucker Punch
[5:07]
Sucker Punch
[5:08]
Sucker Punch
[5:09]
Sucker Punch
[5:10]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[5:10]
Sucker Punch
[5:11]
Sucker Punch
[5:12]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[5:12]
Sucker Punch
[5:13]
Sucker Punch
[5:14]
Sucker Punch
[5:14]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[5:14]
Sucker Punch
[5:15]
Sucker Punch
[5:16]
Sucker Punch
[5:17]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[5:17]
Sucker Punch
[5:18]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[5:19]
Sucker Punch
[5:20]
Sucker Punch
[5:21]
Sucker Punch
[5:22]
Sucker Punch
Dan McCoy
[5:22]
Sucker Punch
[5:23]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[5:24]
Sucker Punch
[5:25]
Sucker Punch
[5:26]
Sucker Punch
[5:27]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[5:27]
Sucker Punch
[5:28]
Sucker Punch
[5:29]
Sucker Punch
[5:30]
Sucker Punch
[5:31]
Sucker Punch
[5:32]
Sucker Punch
[5:34]
Sucker Punch
Elliott Kalan
[5:34]
Sucker Punch
[5:35]
It was a
[5:35]
It's a punch to the audience
Stuart Wellington
[5:37]
Well Elliot you love 300 and Watchmen
Dan McCoy
[5:43]
You are a fan of visionary director Zack Snyder
Elliott Kalan
[5:45]
I like 300 a lot
[5:47]
I have a lot
[5:47]
I think it's a lot of fun
[5:48]
Watchmen is a mediocre film
[5:50]
Okay
Dan McCoy
[5:51]
Zack Snyder is
[5:51]
The Dawn of the Dead remake is okay
Elliott Kalan
[5:53]
I haven't seen that one
[5:54]
I like to think you have to have made more than three movies to be a visionary director
[5:58]
But the word visionary gets thrown around a lot
[6:00]
So I guess Sucker Punch is the fourth movie by this visionary
Dan McCoy
[6:03]
Yeah Sucker Punch is the sort of movie that you make once no one can say no to you
Elliott Kalan
[6:08]
Yeah you've had a couple hits in a row
Dan McCoy
[6:10]
Enough box office success
Elliott Kalan
[6:12]
Yeah you get to blow all of your
Dan McCoy
[6:14]
Bofo B.O. they call it
Elliott Kalan
[6:15]
Yep Bofo B.O. is what they call it
[6:18]
You have enough credit now in your star bank to make the movie that you
[6:26]
Starbanks
[6:26]
To make the movie that you doodled on the back of your math notebook
Stuart Wellington
[6:29]
So he takes a Starbucks and he goes to the movie center and buys all the stuff to make the movie
[6:35]
He says I'd like to buy one
Elliott Kalan
[6:36]
Five attractive girls please
[6:38]
He's like I'd like to buy one piece of shit movie please
[6:41]
And the result was a Sucker Punch
[6:43]
But Smucker's Bunch had a lot going for it
[6:49]
There were you could see the upper thigh of a lot of girls
[6:53]
This was PG-13
[6:54]
A lot of navels
[6:56]
Yes
[6:56]
A lot of navel action
[6:57]
There was the constant unfulfilled promise of lesbian kissing
[7:01]
Mm-hmm
[7:02]
Okay
[7:02]
There was a lot of action where humans fought computer generated things
[7:07]
Yep
[7:08]
With swords and guns
[7:09]
The most exciting type of action
[7:10]
Yep
[7:12]
When a person is fighting something that's not there
[7:13]
And looks like it's not there
[7:15]
Yeah
[7:15]
And you had no less than three different levels of reality
[7:18]
All of them stupid
Dan McCoy
[7:19]
Sure
[7:20]
Yeah
[7:21]
Let's
[7:21]
Now this is
[7:22]
I would love to hear Elliot try and synopsize this film
[7:25]
Because this is an MCX or puzzle box of a mystery of an enigma
[7:30]
Oh yeah
[7:31]
What's going on?
[7:32]
No two people see the same film
Elliott Kalan
[7:34]
It's regular images
[7:35]
Yeah
[7:35]
It's a regular persona
[7:37]
So we open with a wordless vignette
[7:41]
In which
[7:42]
What's the name of the actress playing the main character?
Dan McCoy
[7:46]
Emily Browning
[7:47]
Emily Browning
[7:48]
Who was the
[7:48]
She was in the series of unfortunate events
[7:51]
And she was in the Flophouse film
[7:53]
I think The Uninvited was the
[7:54]
That makes it sound like we produced that
[7:56]
That's the one with the Jewish monster, right?
[7:57]
The Jewish ghost?
[7:57]
Yes, with the Dybbuk
[7:58]
Wait, no, wait
[7:58]
Is that the one, the Dybbuk?
[8:00]
Yeah
[8:00]
It's not that one
[8:00]
It's the
[8:01]
Wait, which
[8:01]
I get The Uninvited and the
[8:03]
No, that's The Unborn
[8:04]
The Unborn was the Dybbuk
[8:06]
The Uninvited
[8:06]
The Uninvited was the right one
[8:07]
The remake of Tale of Two Sisters
[8:09]
That's The Unborn
[8:11]
Oh, okay
Elliott Kalan
[8:12]
Yeah, which
[8:12]
The Unborn promised a girl's butt in underpants
[8:15]
And it delivered on that promise
[8:17]
Did it?
[8:17]
I don't even remember that
[8:17]
There was that scene
[8:18]
So she looks, as Stuart pointed out
[8:22]
The main character of this film, Emily Browning
[8:23]
Who plays the part of Baby Doll
[8:25]
Looks, as Stuart pointed out
[8:27]
Like the Svedka Vodka robot
[8:29]
From the ads
[8:30]
If that robot had to poop the entire time
[8:32]
If that robot had a blonde wig
[8:34]
And looked like it needed to poop
Dan McCoy
[8:35]
And was dressed in like a Japanese sailor suit
Elliott Kalan
[8:39]
Basically Sailor Moon costumes
[8:40]
Yeah
[8:41]
So in a wordless vignette
[8:43]
Her mother
[8:44]
She's a rich girl with a little sister
[8:46]
And a dead mother
[8:48]
And an evil stepfather
[8:49]
And the dead mother dies
[8:51]
And
[8:51]
Again?
[8:53]
The evil stepfather is horrified
[8:55]
To learn that the wheel gives everything
[8:56]
To the two daughters
[8:58]
So he wrecks his office
[9:00]
And then tries to rape Baby Doll
[9:01]
And when she scratches his face
[9:03]
Tries to rape the younger sister
[9:05]
Because if
[9:05]
I think in raping them
[9:07]
They would leave a pile of cash behind
[9:08]
Yeah, it's like a video game
[9:10]
Like Scott Pilgrim
[9:10]
When you kill someone
[9:12]
Yeah, either that
[9:13]
Or a giant turkey leg
[9:14]
Which he could eat for health
[9:16]
And then he would go
[9:17]
Yum!
[9:18]
And then he could fight Bobo
[9:20]
Or whatever the character
[9:21]
From Dumbledragon is
[9:22]
It's a Bobo
[9:24]
A Bobo
[9:25]
Yeah, a Bobo
[9:26]
It's a Bobo
[9:27]
Just one
[9:28]
Yeah, I know
[9:29]
It's a Bobo
[9:29]
It's a Bobo
[9:30]
From the pod race
[9:31]
Tatooine
[9:32]
Oh man
[9:33]
Anywho
[9:34]
So while he's at
[9:36]
While he has the younger girl
[9:37]
Cornered in a closet
[9:38]
Baby Doll takes a gun from his desk
[9:40]
And trying to shoot him
[9:41]
Somehow shoots a light bulb
[9:43]
And her sister at the same time
[9:45]
Killing her sister
Stuart Wellington
[9:46]
Significantly shorter than he is
[9:48]
Yes
Elliott Kalan
[9:48]
And shorter than the light bulb she hits
[9:50]
There's no
Dan McCoy
[9:52]
Well, not shorter than the light bulb itself
[9:53]
But where the light bulb is stationed
Elliott Kalan
[9:54]
Yes, that's true
[9:55]
It's not a seven foot long light bulb
[9:57]
Yes
[9:57]
It's not an industrial fluorescent tube
Dan McCoy
[10:00]
I mean, if it was that big
[10:01]
You know, it would be hard for her
[10:03]
Not to shoot the light bulb
Elliott Kalan
[10:04]
At that point
[10:04]
It must be some kind of art installation
[10:06]
Yeah
[10:06]
That they just have in the house
[10:07]
Anywho
[10:09]
So the evil stepfather
[10:10]
Brings her to a
[10:12]
Kind of
[10:13]
Thank you, Stuart
[10:14]
Thanks, Stuart
[10:15]
That's the movie in a nutshell
[10:17]
Edit that
[10:17]
Is Belch
[10:18]
The evil stepfather takes her to a
[10:21]
Evil mental institution
[10:22]
Okay
[10:23]
Where she is
[10:24]
Lenox Hill
[10:25]
Lenox Hill it's called
[10:26]
And there she enters a fantasy world
[10:30]
Okay
[10:31]
In which she and a group of other girls
[10:33]
Are kind of sex slave burlesque performers
Dan McCoy
[10:36]
Sex slave slash taxi dancer or something
[10:39]
I don't know
[10:40]
Yeah
Elliott Kalan
[10:40]
In this weird club boarding house prison
[10:44]
That is run by the
[10:46]
Run by the orderly from the mental institution
[10:49]
But he has a mustache here
[10:50]
And he's some kind of crime boss or something
Dan McCoy
[10:52]
And
[10:52]
He seems sort of more of like a Latin mobster
[10:55]
Yeah
Elliott Kalan
[10:56]
And Carla Gugino is
Stuart Wellington
[10:57]
But as soon as she goes into this fantasy world
[11:00]
We basically forget about the other one, right?
[11:03]
Yes
Dan McCoy
[11:03]
It does not switch between that level of reality back to the
Elliott Kalan
[11:06]
We don't go back to the mental hospital until the end of the movie
[11:09]
Okay
[11:09]
And basically what happens is
[11:11]
Well, she's
[11:12]
The little
[11:13]
Baby doll is about to get lobotomized
[11:15]
And then it switches to this other plane of reality
[11:17]
She's there
[11:20]
They're burlesquing
[11:21]
Carl Gugino is like a dance coach
[11:24]
Yeah
[11:25]
Who's Russian
[11:25]
Yeah
[11:26]
And the amazing thing about
Dan McCoy
[11:27]
She's got a real like Natasha from Rocking Bull Eagle accent
Elliott Kalan
[11:30]
Yeah, it's pretty bad
[11:31]
And all the girls walk around in like
[11:33]
Not really very revealing lingerie
[11:36]
It looks like they're in like bathing suits and tights
Stuart Wellington
[11:38]
Yeah, enough thigh highs to make it
[11:40]
You know that they're wearing lingerie
Dan McCoy
[11:42]
You've got girls of every type
[11:44]
You have the skinny one
[11:45]
The blonde one
[11:47]
The Asian one
[11:47]
The Asian one
[11:48]
And the other one
Stuart Wellington
[11:49]
The other one
[11:51]
And they
[11:52]
It's like a regular brat cornucopia
[11:55]
There's a lot of
[11:56]
There's a lot of gratitude
Elliott Kalan
[11:57]
There's a lot of very specific
[11:59]
Like hipster fetishes
[12:00]
Yeah
[12:01]
That are involved in this movie
[12:02]
Heavy eye makeup
[12:04]
Thigh high stockings
[12:05]
Like old fashioned lingerie
[12:08]
Girls almost getting raped
[12:09]
Girls almost getting raped
[12:10]
Very popular fetish
[12:11]
So that's a big hipster thing
[12:12]
And basically
[12:13]
It's like this world where
[12:14]
Baby doll has been promised to some
[12:16]
And her other friends are named
[12:18]
Rocket
[12:18]
Amber
[12:19]
Blondie
[12:21]
Blondie
[12:21]
Who doesn't have blonde hair
[12:22]
That's the smartness of it
[12:23]
Chastity
[12:24]
Internet
[12:24]
Asia
[12:25]
Played by that
Dan McCoy
[12:26]
One girl from
[12:27]
High School Musical
[12:28]
Who was nude on the internet
Elliott Kalan
[12:29]
And Rocket's
[12:30]
Older sister Sweet Pea
[12:32]
Yep
[12:32]
And they all have stupid names
[12:34]
Because it's a stupid movie
[12:35]
And baby doll has been promised
[12:37]
To some high roller
Stuart Wellington
[12:38]
And because it makes them less human
[12:39]
By giving them names like that
Elliott Kalan
[12:41]
Yes
[12:41]
They become fetish objects
[12:43]
They basically become sex dolls
[12:44]
Who don't have sex
[12:45]
Native American fetish objects
[12:47]
Yeah
[12:48]
They're totems
[12:49]
To an animistic religion
[12:53]
And basically
[12:56]
It's more of ancestor worship
[12:57]
I'm sure
[12:58]
They learn that baby doll
[12:59]
Is this amazing dancer
[13:00]
And every time she dances
[13:02]
We don't see her dance
[13:03]
Instead the camera zooms into her eye
[13:05]
And suddenly she's in a fantasy world
[13:07]
Where she fights
[13:07]
I mean she wiggles for a second
[13:09]
She wiggles kind of like a
[13:11]
Like a drugged up Russian child
[13:12]
Well the first time she enters this world
Dan McCoy
[13:15]
Scott Glenn appears to her
[13:17]
As like a sensei character
[13:18]
One of the first Americans in space?
[13:20]
Yes
[13:20]
Yes Scott Glenn
Stuart Wellington
[13:22]
Actor Scott Glenn
[13:23]
John Glenn
Dan McCoy
[13:23]
You might remember him as
[13:26]
The guy at the FBI
[13:29]
Who sends Jodie Foster
[13:31]
Down to meet Hannibal Lecter
[13:35]
In Silence of the Lambs
[13:36]
Yeah
[13:36]
I'm mixing up actor's name
[13:38]
And character's name
[13:38]
But that's fine
[13:39]
But he tells her
[13:41]
That she's gonna
[13:42]
He is a sensei
Elliott Kalan
[13:43]
Inside of a snow covered pagoda
Dan McCoy
[13:45]
He's a David Carradine type
[13:47]
Yes he is
Elliott Kalan
[13:48]
Basically Zack Snyder's
[13:50]
Lookalike
[13:50]
Zack Snyder's saying
[13:51]
This is my David Carradine
[13:53]
This
[13:54]
The
[13:54]
If he hadn't killed himself
[13:56]
If
[13:57]
David
Stuart Wellington
[13:57]
That hasn't been proven yet right
[14:00]
That was
[14:00]
I thought
[14:00]
I mean
[14:01]
It could have still been
[14:02]
Foul Play
[14:03]
It could have been Foul Play
Elliott Kalan
[14:04]
That's true
[14:04]
The movie
[14:04]
And
[14:05]
He could have been watching
[14:07]
Foul Play
[14:08]
And been like
[14:08]
I do not want to watch
[14:09]
Any more of this
[14:10]
Or he could have been
[14:11]
Getting off to Foul Play
[14:13]
Yeah he could be like
[14:14]
Oh Chevy Chase
[14:15]
Oh my god
[14:15]
And then
[14:16]
And anyway
[14:18]
Basically this is
[14:20]
This is Zack Snyder's
[14:22]
Kill Bill
[14:23]
Is what we can get to eventually
[14:25]
Except he's not very good
[14:26]
And he doesn't have
[14:27]
Quentin Tarantino's
[14:29]
Basic understanding
[14:30]
Of human emotion
[14:31]
Or
[14:33]
Or
Stuart Wellington
[14:33]
Or
[14:34]
Or I would imagine
[14:34]
Cinema
Elliott Kalan
[14:35]
Or how movies work
[14:36]
Yeah
[14:36]
So anyway
[14:37]
Scott Glenn
[14:38]
Is a
[14:39]
Is a
[14:40]
Is this
[14:40]
Is her
[14:41]
Sensei now
[14:42]
She fights
[14:43]
Three giant samurai robots
[14:44]
One of whom has a huge
[14:45]
What gatling gun
[14:46]
Yep
[14:47]
Like a chain gun
[14:48]
One guy's got a big
[14:49]
Naginata
[14:50]
And
[14:51]
Yeah
[14:51]
An old time gatling gun
[14:52]
Like a real
[14:53]
This happens a couple times
[14:54]
Throughout the movie
[14:55]
That she goes
[14:55]
And then when she's done
[14:56]
Killing these samurai
[14:57]
We pull out of her eye
[14:59]
She's done dancing
[15:00]
And everyone is amazed
[15:01]
At what a great dancer she is
[15:02]
Because apparently
[15:03]
She's been dancing the story
[15:04]
Of killing samurai
[15:06]
Like I don't know
[15:06]
And
[15:07]
This happens a couple times
[15:09]
Throughout the movie
[15:09]
And you see her in a couple
[15:10]
Different settings
[15:11]
With the other girls
[15:12]
One where they're in
[15:13]
World War I
[15:14]
And they're using
[15:15]
Machine guns to fight
[15:16]
Steampunk zombies
[15:17]
And they blow up a zeppelin
[15:19]
And there's a lot of
[15:19]
Kung fu bullshit
[15:20]
And then another
[15:21]
Where they're in a
[15:22]
World War II
[15:23]
Bomber plane
[15:24]
And they're over
[15:26]
A fantasy castle
[15:27]
And they have to
[15:27]
Fight a dragon
[15:28]
And
[15:29]
What was
[15:31]
Is there another one
[15:31]
Oh yeah
[15:31]
They're on a futuristic train
[15:33]
And fighting robots
[15:34]
To stop a bomb
[15:36]
Or start a bomb
[15:36]
Like on Mars or something
[15:37]
And they're all
[15:39]
Each of these scenes
Dan McCoy
[15:40]
Has no bearing
Elliott Kalan
[15:41]
On what's happening
[15:43]
In real life
[15:43]
Has nothing to do
[15:44]
With anything
[15:45]
Well she has to pick up
[15:46]
Five different objects
[15:48]
In each of these scenes
Dan McCoy
[15:48]
Yeah Sky Glam is like
[15:49]
You need to get out of there
[15:51]
You need to get a map
[15:52]
You need to get fire
[15:53]
You need to get a knife
[15:55]
You need to get keys
[15:55]
You need to get key
[15:55]
And then you have to get
[15:57]
Some mysterious
[15:58]
Fifth other element
[15:59]
Perhaps love
[16:00]
It turns out to be sacrifice
[16:01]
Oh okay
[16:02]
It's not love
[16:03]
Same thing guys
[16:04]
No it's not love
[16:05]
From the fifth element
[16:05]
Yeah it's not
[16:06]
Lilu or Corvindale
[16:08]
Well it's weird
Elliott Kalan
[16:08]
Actually in the original
[16:09]
Draft of the fifth element
[16:10]
The fifth element was chalk
[16:12]
Earth
[16:14]
Wind
[16:14]
Fire
[16:15]
Water and chalk
[16:16]
And then I think
[16:17]
It was around
[16:18]
I think after
[16:18]
Figured that earth
Dan McCoy
[16:19]
And chalk
[16:20]
Were too similar
Elliott Kalan
[16:20]
I mean that's the
[16:21]
While shooting was going on
[16:23]
I think after shooting started
[16:24]
They were like
[16:24]
Why don't we change it to love
[16:26]
Love guys
[16:27]
Actually I think they may have
[16:28]
Changed it to corn
[16:28]
And then love
[16:30]
Maize
[16:30]
Maize which is corn
[16:32]
I don't know why
[16:33]
I mean they're French
[16:34]
They're not Native American
Dan McCoy
[16:35]
I don't know why
[16:36]
They go through two levels
[16:37]
That's why
[16:38]
Because they're
[16:39]
They're like
Elliott Kalan
[16:39]
They didn't know that
[16:40]
Maize and corn
[16:40]
Yeah let's make it corn
[16:42]
No no no
[16:42]
Let's make it maize
[16:43]
Okay wait that's just corn
Dan McCoy
[16:44]
Okay
Stuart Wellington
[16:45]
It's the French obsession
[16:46]
With Native American culture
[16:47]
As evidenced by
[16:48]
Brotherhood of the Wolf
[16:49]
Oh
Elliott Kalan
[16:49]
Very nice
[16:51]
Okay
[16:52]
Anywho
[16:53]
So we see these
[16:55]
These action scenes
[16:56]
That are not very well made
[16:57]
I'm sure we'll talk about them
[16:58]
And then
[16:59]
Bad things happen
[17:00]
To good people
[17:01]
In the world
[17:02]
In the burlesque world
[17:03]
The evil crime boss
[17:04]
Finds out they're trying to escape
[17:06]
That's what they're trying to do
[17:07]
They're trying to escape
[17:07]
Oh she's already
[17:08]
In a fantasy world
Stuart Wellington
[17:09]
And then when she starts to dance
[17:11]
She goes into another fantasy world
[17:12]
They pile another fantasy world
[17:13]
On top of that
[17:14]
Then when
[17:14]
And then
[17:16]
There's a point where
[17:17]
Something wrong happens
[17:18]
In the second level
[17:19]
Of fantasy world
[17:20]
In the burlesque world
[17:21]
And so
[17:22]
It like pulls her out of her
[17:24]
Her dancing world
[17:25]
Her dance
[17:26]
Her like
[17:27]
Third level
Elliott Kalan
[17:28]
Yeah
[17:29]
But they never go all the way
[17:30]
Back to the first level
[17:31]
Until the end of the movie
[17:32]
At the very end
[17:33]
Should I just say the ending?
[17:35]
Yeah
[17:35]
At the very end
[17:36]
All the other girls
[17:37]
Have been killed
[17:37]
Except for her
[17:38]
And Sweet Pea
[17:39]
Who has no personality
[17:40]
Whatsoever
[17:41]
And
[17:42]
What are you talking about?
[17:42]
She's blonde
[17:43]
Come on
[17:43]
She looks like Nicole Kidman
[17:44]
Kinda
[17:44]
And Baby Doll realizes
[17:46]
This was never my story
[17:48]
This was your story
[17:49]
I'm gonna sacrifice myself
[17:50]
So you can escape
[17:51]
And she does
[17:53]
And it is at that moment
[17:54]
That
[17:55]
A
[17:56]
The spike
[17:57]
That was about to lobotomize her
[17:59]
In the first level of reality
[18:00]
Goes into her eye
[18:01]
And into her brain
[18:03]
And she's lobotomized
[18:03]
By John Hamm
[18:04]
Of TV's Mad Men
[18:05]
Oh I like him
[18:06]
I like him
[18:07]
Handsome
[18:07]
Most usually too
[18:08]
Handsome guy
[18:09]
And it turns out
[18:10]
There's this completely
[18:12]
Like unnecessary
[18:13]
Tacked on ending
[18:14]
Where the orderly
[18:15]
At the mental hospital
[18:16]
Was I guess
[18:16]
Sexually abusing the girls
[18:18]
Like it's not really clear
[18:19]
He's been doing something
[18:20]
Terrible to them
[18:21]
He gets arrested
[18:22]
And it turns out
[18:23]
She really did help
[18:24]
Another girl escape
[18:25]
From the mental hospital
[18:26]
And now that girl
[18:27]
Is gonna drive away
[18:28]
To freedom
[18:28]
On a bus
[18:29]
Driven by Scott Glenn
[18:31]
Yeah
[18:31]
And a voice
[18:32]
The movie opens
[18:33]
With a shitty voiceover
[18:34]
And it ends with
[18:34]
A shitty voiceover
[18:35]
Saying
[18:35]
Who has the power
[18:37]
Of freedom
[18:37]
Who decides our actions
[18:38]
You do
Dan McCoy
[18:40]
You have all the tools
[18:41]
You need
[18:42]
So it's
[18:43]
It's like
[18:43]
Babylon AD
Stuart Wellington
[18:45]
Right
[18:45]
That was how
[18:46]
That movie
[18:46]
It's a self-affirming movie
Dan McCoy
[18:48]
It's a self-affirming movie
[18:49]
About the power
[18:50]
Of almost being raped
[18:51]
And then getting
[18:52]
Lobotomized
Elliott Kalan
[18:53]
Almost being raped
[18:53]
And escaping
[18:54]
Into a fantasy world
Dan McCoy
[18:55]
It is a
[18:57]
It is a movie
[18:58]
Full of
[18:59]
MTV style
[19:00]
Music video nonsense
[19:02]
And then at the end
[19:03]
Lobotomy
[19:05]
Oh I forgot that
[19:06]
To make you feel bad
Elliott Kalan
[19:06]
Most of the movie
[19:07]
Is told with
[19:08]
With just
[19:09]
Covers of famous songs
[19:11]
Playing over the scenes
Dan McCoy
[19:12]
Yeah there's a lot of songs
[19:13]
That are ruined
[19:14]
By terrible cover versions
[19:16]
You got your
[19:16]
Search and Destroy
[19:17]
Search and Destroy
[19:18]
Sweet Dreams
[19:19]
Tomorrow Never Knows
[19:22]
Where Is My Mind
[19:23]
Just you know
[19:24]
Like songs that you might enjoy
[19:26]
If you actually heard
[19:27]
The real version
[19:28]
Oh
[19:28]
White Rabbit
[19:31]
Or is that
[19:31]
Yeah White Rabbit
[19:32]
Bjork's Army of Me
Stuart Wellington
[19:34]
Left Intact
Dan McCoy
[19:35]
That would not cover
Elliott Kalan
[19:36]
I wouldn't be surprised
[19:37]
If Bjork
[19:37]
Did not give permission
[19:39]
For a cover
[19:39]
Sure
[19:40]
Either that
[19:43]
Or she was so eager
[19:44]
To be associated
[19:45]
With Zack Snyder's
[19:46]
Skucker Bunch
[19:47]
That she just said
Dan McCoy
[19:48]
Use my movie song
[19:50]
Put it in
[19:51]
I'm Bjork
Elliott Kalan
[19:52]
I mean he is
[19:53]
Excellent
[19:54]
He's a visionary
[19:54]
According to the movie posters
[19:56]
He is a visionary
[19:57]
He has made
[19:58]
Almost five films
[19:59]
He can see
[20:00]
He has vision
[20:01]
Did he do anything
[20:01]
Before his Dawn of the Dead remake
[20:04]
He made music videos right
[20:07]
I don't know
[20:07]
That makes sense
[20:08]
I mean this movie
[20:09]
Is basically a collection
[20:09]
Of crappy music videos
[20:11]
Yeah
[20:11]
And the action scenes
[20:12]
All
[20:13]
It feels like they were
[20:14]
Test marketed
[20:14]
By like just handing out
[20:16]
Polls at Comic Con
[20:17]
Because there's like
[20:18]
Steampunk zombies
[20:20]
And giant mechs
[20:21]
And like you know
[20:22]
Robots
[20:23]
And dragons
[20:24]
And samurai
[20:25]
And this trope
[20:27]
That's gotten very popular
[20:28]
And girls in short skirts
[20:29]
Well that's the thing
[20:30]
The tough girl in a short skirt
[20:32]
Where it's like
[20:33]
It used to be
[20:34]
The male fantasy
[20:35]
To like save
[20:36]
A woman from danger
[20:37]
And that's like
[20:38]
Old action heroes
[20:39]
Used to be
[20:39]
Guys who saved
[20:40]
Dandles in distress
[20:41]
And now it's almost like
[20:43]
Men have become
[20:44]
So infantilized
[20:45]
That the fantasy
[20:46]
Is a woman
[20:46]
Who can protect
[20:47]
And take care of them
[20:48]
Yeah
[20:48]
Like they'd
[20:49]
It went from
[20:50]
Women become
[20:51]
Like Ripley
[20:52]
In the alien movies
[20:53]
Like finally a woman
[20:54]
Is the action hero
[20:55]
This is really cool
[20:56]
To being like
Dan McCoy
[20:57]
Why can't
[20:58]
They just be like
[20:58]
A girl who dresses
Elliott Kalan
[20:59]
Like I think girls
[21:00]
Should dress
[21:00]
And she takes
[21:01]
And she's like
[21:01]
Super mean with a sword
[21:03]
But like she knows
[21:04]
I'm cool
[21:05]
You know that kind of stuff
Dan McCoy
[21:06]
Well also like
[21:06]
The weird thing about
[21:07]
Like watching this movie
[21:08]
Is how dirty
[21:09]
It makes me feel
[21:10]
Like when I've seen
[21:11]
Much dirtier things
[21:12]
I mean you're a disgusting person
[21:14]
Sure I'm a terrible person
[21:15]
I'm a terrible human being
[21:16]
But like
[21:16]
Like there's a certain honesty
[21:18]
And just like being like
[21:19]
This is like
[21:20]
A fetish
[21:21]
That's being presented
[21:22]
Like whereas this movie
[21:23]
Is like
[21:23]
We're gonna
[21:24]
Put a bunch of people
[21:25]
In fetish gear
[21:26]
And have a bunch of
[21:26]
Almost rapes
[21:27]
But we're gonna
[21:28]
You know
[21:28]
Pretend like it's a
[21:31]
Tale of empowerment
[21:32]
And redemption
[21:33]
And also it's gonna be
[21:34]
PG-13
Elliott Kalan
[21:35]
So like
[21:36]
There's not a lot of
[21:37]
Swearing in it
[21:37]
There's a little bit
[21:38]
It keeps kind of
[21:40]
Teasing you
[21:40]
That it's gonna be
[21:41]
More bizarre
[21:43]
Or
[21:43]
Or
[21:44]
Or trashy
[21:46]
Than it is
[21:46]
Yeah
[21:46]
And it means that like
[21:48]
In the scene in World War I
[21:49]
There's a lot of
[21:49]
Faux perversion
[21:50]
There's a World War I scene
[21:51]
Where Scott Glenn
[21:52]
Says to them
[21:53]
He goes
[21:53]
The Germans have
[21:55]
Figured out a way
[21:55]
To bring the dead
[21:56]
Back to life
[21:56]
With steam
[21:57]
And gears
[21:58]
So don't worry
[21:59]
About killing them
[21:59]
They're already dead
[22:00]
Mom and dad
Dan McCoy
[22:01]
It's okay
[22:02]
Your kids are watching this
Elliott Kalan
[22:03]
Yeah
[22:03]
Because they're just
[22:04]
Shooting robots
[22:04]
You know like
[22:05]
Just have them
[22:06]
Kill soldiers
[22:06]
Like it's a war scene
[22:07]
There's a moment
[22:08]
Where one of the girls
[22:09]
Reaches down
[22:10]
And like
[22:10]
Shoves the
[22:11]
Like a
[22:12]
Like
[22:12]
Pushes aside the hair
[22:14]
On a young soldier's face
[22:15]
And he's got bandages
[22:16]
On his head
[22:16]
And it's like
[22:17]
This brief moment
[22:17]
Of like
[22:18]
Yeah war hurts people
Stuart Wellington
[22:19]
Sometimes kids
[22:20]
Have to fight war
Elliott Kalan
[22:21]
War's not fun
[22:23]
Anyway
[22:23]
Let's go kill
[22:24]
Some steampunk zombies
[22:25]
What's so civil
Stuart Wellington
[22:26]
About war anyway
Elliott Kalan
[22:27]
I mean that wasn't
[22:28]
A civil war
Stuart Wellington
[22:28]
Oh okay
[22:29]
What's so funny
[22:31]
About peace
[22:31]
Love and understanding
[22:32]
Guys
Dan McCoy
[22:32]
Sure
Stuart Wellington
[22:32]
I don't
[22:34]
No
[22:34]
I want to go back
[22:36]
To Dan
[22:36]
What's the frequency
[22:37]
Cam
[22:37]
Dan made a comment
[22:38]
About
[22:39]
What's the buzz
[22:39]
Tell me what's happening
[22:40]
It is a collection
[22:41]
Of almost rapes
[22:42]
And they demonize
[22:42]
Every male character
[22:44]
In this movie
[22:44]
Yes
[22:45]
As being an almost rapist
[22:46]
Except
[22:46]
Scott Glenn
[22:48]
The mystery shaman
[22:49]
Who's a desexualized
[22:51]
Weird mystery shaman
[22:52]
Yes
[22:53]
Like Willie Talsalt
[22:54]
In the Great Bikini
[22:55]
Off-road adventure
Elliott Kalan
[22:55]
How did I
[22:57]
Well that's
[22:58]
When the Great Bikini
[22:59]
Off-road adventure
[22:59]
Is far more
[23:00]
Of a feminine
[23:01]
Empowerment movie
[23:02]
Than this
[23:02]
Because like
[23:03]
In many ways
[23:03]
They run a successful
[23:04]
Business
[23:04]
They do
[23:05]
They make fools
[23:06]
Of the villains
[23:07]
They don't let the fact
[23:09]
That their tops
[23:09]
Keep falling off
[23:10]
Get in the way
[23:11]
Why would you
[23:13]
Why would you
[23:13]
They embrace that fact
[23:14]
Like this is
[23:16]
Yeah
[23:17]
The Great Bikini
[23:18]
Off-road adventure
[23:19]
Becomes a feminist
[23:20]
Tract
[23:20]
Next to Skuckermunch
[23:21]
I can't even
[23:23]
Bring myself to pronounce
[23:24]
The name correctly
[23:25]
This is a movie
[23:25]
That demonized
[23:26]
All these male characters
Stuart Wellington
[23:27]
With almost rapes
[23:28]
But like
[23:29]
How does it make
[23:30]
The filmmakers
[23:31]
Any less creepy
[23:32]
For filming it entirely
[23:33]
About chicks
[23:34]
And semi-fetish
[23:35]
Yeah
Dan McCoy
[23:35]
No
[23:36]
No
[23:36]
This is
[23:37]
This is a creepy movie
Elliott Kalan
[23:38]
It's a creepy movie
[23:39]
That's not very good
[23:40]
Well
Stuart Wellington
[23:41]
And one thing
[23:42]
Had it been good
[23:42]
The creepiness
[23:43]
Would have been overlooked
Elliott Kalan
[23:44]
Well because
[23:45]
Well had it been good
[23:46]
The creepiness
[23:46]
Would have been
[23:47]
A good thing
[23:47]
Because a well-made movie
[23:49]
That's creepy
[23:50]
Is not
[23:50]
It's going for an effect
[23:52]
On purpose
[23:53]
You know like
[23:53]
A good horror movie
[23:54]
Is trying to make you
[23:56]
Uncomfortable
[23:56]
And it works
[23:57]
Like this makes you
[23:57]
Uncomfortable
[23:58]
Because it's like
[23:58]
Am I supposed to be
[24:00]
Like enjoying this
[24:01]
Like what's the
[24:02]
You know
[24:02]
Well and one thing
Stuart Wellington
[24:03]
Like a death proof
[24:04]
With a lot of girls
[24:05]
In small outfits
Elliott Kalan
[24:05]
Yes
[24:06]
Well because
[24:07]
Quentin Tarantino knows
[24:08]
You know
[24:09]
These are girls
[24:09]
In small outfits
Dan McCoy
[24:10]
Yeah
[24:11]
One thing that makes me
[24:12]
Particularly angry
[24:13]
About this movie too
[24:14]
Is like
[24:14]
This movie
[24:15]
The whole middle section
[24:17]
Is just a bunch of
[24:18]
Nonsense action
[24:19]
Scenes
[24:20]
That are just
[24:21]
Totally bubblegum
[24:22]
They don't mean anything
[24:23]
They're just like
[24:23]
Ridiculous
[24:24]
Crazy bullshit
[24:25]
And then at the end
[24:26]
Of the movie
[24:26]
Oh we have this
[24:28]
Downer ending
[24:28]
It's like
[24:29]
Well this girl
[24:29]
Has gone through
[24:30]
All this stuff
[24:31]
And now she gets
[24:32]
A lobotomy
[24:33]
And I guess
[24:34]
There's a ray of sunshine
[24:35]
Because she helped
[24:36]
One other girl escape
[24:37]
That we don't care about
[24:37]
But there's no need
[24:39]
Like on a movie
[24:40]
That's like such a popcorn
[24:41]
Stupid film
[24:42]
To have like this
[24:42]
Bleak ending
[24:44]
Where a girl gets
[24:45]
An unneeded lobotomy
[24:47]
Hey man that's life
[24:48]
Hey
[24:49]
I guess
[24:49]
I guess I've been taught
[24:50]
A lesson
[24:50]
You've been taught
[24:51]
A lesson about the real world
[24:52]
Deal with it
[24:53]
People get smacked down
[24:54]
For stuff all the time
[24:56]
Jon Hamm goes around
[24:57]
Lobotomizing people
Elliott Kalan
[24:58]
It's a weird moment
[24:59]
At the end where
[25:00]
Jon lobotomizing Hamm
[25:01]
Jon Hamm has just
[25:02]
Lobotomized this girl
[25:04]
And Jon Hamm
[25:05]
And Carly Eugenio
[25:06]
As the
[25:06]
It turns out
[25:07]
She's the doctor
[25:07]
In the mental institute
[25:08]
Comes in
[25:08]
And she's like
[25:10]
You lobotomized her huh
[25:11]
I wouldn't have done that
[25:13]
Anywho
[25:14]
And Jon Hamm's like
[25:15]
Didn't you
[25:15]
Your signature is on the forms
[25:17]
Authorizing this
[25:18]
And she's like
[25:18]
No it's not
[25:19]
What
[25:20]
I would never have signed that
[25:21]
And Jon Hamm's like
[25:22]
I don't like doing it either
[25:23]
But you know
[25:24]
I do it
[25:24]
Like you have two characters
[25:25]
Who we're supposed to like
[25:27]
But they can't get too mad
[25:29]
That a girl's just been lobotomized
[25:30]
Especially since one of them did it
[25:31]
So like this weird moment of like
[25:33]
Hey don't blame Jon Hamm
[25:34]
And Carly Eugenio
[25:34]
They're the good guys
[25:35]
Even though they were fine with this
[25:36]
Yeah
Dan McCoy
[25:37]
It's a dirty world
Elliott Kalan
[25:38]
It's a filthy way
[25:40]
Hey you just learned another lesson
[25:41]
You should be paying Zack Snyder
[25:42]
For all the lessons he's teaching
Stuart Wellington
[25:43]
Well it's a moment where
[25:44]
I think both of them realize
[25:46]
There was a mistake made
[25:47]
But they just keep changing the subject
[25:48]
Like oh man
[25:51]
And then I have to go home
[25:52]
And make dinner
[25:52]
I don't have enough time for this
[25:54]
Where are my shoes?
Dan McCoy
[25:58]
Oh jeez
[25:58]
Look at the time
Stuart Wellington
[25:59]
Gotta go
[26:00]
Other weird thing is
[26:00]
Who put all the makeup on her
[26:02]
Before this?
[26:02]
Isn't that strange?
[26:04]
Oh no
[26:04]
She's just flushed
[26:05]
From whatever sickness she has
Dan McCoy
[26:07]
So this is
[26:09]
She's flushed from being aroused
[26:10]
In all this movie
[26:11]
For some reason
[26:12]
It's the
Elliott Kalan
[26:13]
This is like
[26:14]
Wait she was aroused?
[26:15]
I'm just saying
[26:15]
Like weird
[26:16]
Fetishization of everyone
Dan McCoy
[26:18]
In the film
[26:19]
Like
[26:19]
Like okay
[26:21]
And now she's the ultimate
[26:22]
Baby doll
[26:23]
Because we've removed
[26:24]
Her brainstem
[26:25]
Like it's a terrible lesson
Elliott Kalan
[26:27]
I mean the women in the movie
[26:29]
Are basically puppets
[26:30]
For Zack Snyder
Stuart Wellington
[26:31]
Yeah
[26:32]
I mean I'd say
[26:33]
I'd compare them to like
[26:34]
That manic pixie dream girl thing
[26:36]
But they're not even
[26:37]
They don't even have enough
[26:38]
Personality for that
Elliott Kalan
[26:38]
Well it's a different
[26:39]
It's a different type
[26:40]
It's the action pixie dream girl
[26:41]
Yeah
[26:42]
Where it's like
[26:43]
They're the pucker bunch
[26:44]
They're person
[26:44]
Pucker snunch
[26:46]
Sure
[26:47]
Gucker glunch
[26:48]
Naked lunch
[26:50]
There you go
[26:51]
Wait that's what we watched
[26:52]
Yeah we watched
[26:53]
Naked lunch
[26:54]
Starring Peter Weller
[26:56]
Yep
[26:58]
Peter Weller would have made
[27:00]
A good mystic shaman character
[27:02]
Oh sure
[27:02]
Yeah if he wasn't busy
[27:03]
Getting his grad degree
[27:05]
I thought he was a teacher
[27:08]
I don't know
[27:09]
I don't think he
[27:09]
I thought he was studying
[27:11]
No
[27:11]
What is he teaching
[27:12]
RoboCop?
[27:14]
Come on
[27:15]
How to be a RoboCop
[27:17]
Step one
[27:18]
RoboCop 101
[27:19]
Step one
Dan McCoy
[27:19]
Have a holster in your leg
[27:21]
You all failed
[27:23]
Look to your left
[27:26]
Look to your right
[27:27]
Both of you failed
[27:27]
You don't have holsters
[27:28]
In your legs
[27:29]
Okay today we're going to
Elliott Kalan
[27:32]
Focus on eating baby food
Dan McCoy
[27:33]
Yeah
[27:36]
RoboCop 101
[27:37]
Pretty tough class
[27:39]
Yeah
Elliott Kalan
[27:39]
Nobody gets to
[27:40]
RoboCop 102
[27:41]
No one
[27:42]
No one wants
[27:43]
Professor Weller
[27:43]
I mean unless
[27:44]
You're already a RoboCop
[27:45]
It's a tough class
[27:48]
Professor Weller
[27:49]
Is a hard grader
[27:50]
Does not give
[27:50]
Pass fail grades
Dan McCoy
[27:51]
But a great
[27:54]
But a great class
Elliott Kalan
[27:55]
Ed209
[27:57]
You got potential
[27:57]
Classic
[27:58]
I got my eye on you
Dan McCoy
[27:59]
Sucker punch guys
[28:02]
Not very good
[28:03]
Not as good as RoboCop
[28:04]
This is
Elliott Kalan
[28:05]
This is a movie
[28:05]
For 14 year old boys
[28:08]
That if I had seen it
[28:09]
As a 14 year old
[28:10]
I would have thought
[28:10]
It was terrible
[28:11]
Well this is the
[28:11]
It fails on
[28:12]
Pretty much every level
Dan McCoy
[28:14]
This is the heavy metal
[28:15]
Of movies
[28:16]
This is like
[28:16]
The movie that you walk in
[28:18]
To your local 7-Eleven
[28:19]
And you masturbate to this
[28:20]
Because they don't have
[28:22]
Playboys available
[28:23]
Wait what?
[28:24]
Oh you mean the magazine
[28:24]
Wait you masturbate in the 7-Eleven?
[28:26]
Yeah
[28:26]
In the Slurpee machine
[28:28]
You know
Elliott Kalan
[28:29]
Wait really?
[28:30]
No I don't know
[28:32]
You masturbate in 7-Elevens
[28:34]
Right?
[28:34]
This is why Dan's
[28:36]
Criminal record
[28:37]
As a juvenile
[28:38]
Is sealed
[28:38]
Because he masturbated on it
Dan McCoy
[28:40]
No but this is
[28:42]
No but this movie
[28:44]
This movie is to
[28:45]
Pornography as heavy metal
[28:48]
Was to like Playboy
[28:49]
This is like that
[28:50]
That weird like
[28:51]
Okay we're gonna
[28:52]
Sort of like
[28:53]
Dirty up a little
[28:54]
Like science fiction
[28:55]
Well there was that
Stuart Wellington
[28:56]
Really weird scene
[28:56]
Where they cut that
[28:57]
Baby dragon's throat
[28:58]
And stuck their hand
[28:59]
In the wound
[29:00]
And pulled like
[29:01]
Crystals out
[29:01]
Pulled out
[29:02]
Crystals fire stones
[29:02]
That's pretty sexual
Elliott Kalan
[29:03]
And then the
[29:05]
Mother dragon
[29:06]
Chased them
[29:06]
And we were rooting
[29:08]
For the mother dragon
[29:09]
Because they had just
[29:09]
Gone and killed her child
[29:10]
Yeah
[29:11]
Yeah I mean
[29:12]
That's kind of bullshit
[29:12]
This is
[29:13]
I guess this is
[29:14]
The step up for kids
[29:15]
Who are done
[29:15]
Masturbating to
[29:16]
Like bikini scenes
[29:18]
And X-Men comics
[29:18]
Right
[29:19]
And are ready for
[29:20]
Harder stuff
Dan McCoy
[29:21]
Yeah
[29:21]
I was gonna say
[29:24]
We should have
[29:25]
We should have a chart
[29:26]
Of the masturbation
[29:28]
Development
[29:28]
But it's like
[29:29]
No we shouldn't
[29:30]
Have that chart
[29:30]
No we should not
[29:31]
Do that
Elliott Kalan
[29:31]
Anyone looking for
[29:33]
That chart
[29:33]
We don't want
[29:34]
Looking for us
Stuart Wellington
[29:35]
Yeah
[29:36]
Pennies
[29:37]
Dinosaurs
[29:38]
Etc
Elliott Kalan
[29:39]
You got kids
[29:40]
Looking to find out
[29:41]
What would happen
[29:41]
If Penny met a dinosaur
[29:42]
And then they're
[29:43]
Seeing that
[29:44]
Bad for them
Dan McCoy
[29:45]
I thought
[29:46]
Oh by the way
[29:46]
Speaking along these lines
[29:48]
I was looking at the
[29:49]
Keywords that sent people
[29:50]
To the Flophouse website
[29:51]
And one of them
[29:53]
Recently there were
[29:54]
Two searches for
[29:55]
I am number four porn
[29:56]
So that is a very
Elliott Kalan
[30:00]
Small market
[30:01]
Yeah
Dan McCoy
[30:01]
By the way
[30:03]
You can't find any
[30:04]
I am number four porn
[30:05]
On the Flophouse website
[30:06]
In case you were
[30:07]
Looking
[30:07]
Don't tell them that
[30:08]
They're not gonna come
[30:09]
To the website
[30:09]
Yeah we're working on it
Stuart Wellington
[30:12]
Elliot's providing the words
[30:14]
I'm providing the pictures
Elliott Kalan
[30:16]
Dan's providing the soul
[30:17]
Yeah of course
[30:18]
We say to Dan
[30:19]
What do you like
[30:20]
And we know it's gonna be
[30:21]
Totally crazy and gross
Dan McCoy
[30:22]
It's always the quiet ones
Elliott Kalan
[30:26]
So the Tucker Bunch
[30:27]
Yeah I mean
[30:29]
This is so much
[30:30]
Like
Stuart Wellington
[30:30]
I think
[30:31]
So Al Roker
[30:33]
A movie that's filled
[30:34]
With cover songs
[30:35]
Of you know
[30:37]
Things that
[30:37]
Songs that used to be good
[30:39]
Or
[30:39]
I mean the songs
[30:40]
Are still good
[30:41]
It's just the covers are bad
[30:42]
But like this is a movie
[30:43]
That's kind of like
[30:43]
The cover song of a movie
[30:45]
Like it's just a mashem up
[30:46]
Of things that he liked
[30:47]
When he like
[30:48]
Ran around Comic Con
[30:50]
On a sugar high
[30:51]
Yeah
Elliott Kalan
[30:51]
Well it's his
[30:52]
It's his Kill Bill
[30:53]
Where
[30:53]
Quentin Tarantino
[30:55]
Made Kill Bill
[30:55]
And kind of put together
[30:56]
All the things he liked
[30:57]
Into a new whole
[30:58]
And kind of infused
[30:59]
His spirit into them
[31:00]
Zack Snyder
[31:01]
Kind of just like
[31:02]
Shoved a whole bunch
[31:03]
Of things in a bag
[31:04]
And then shook the bag up
[31:05]
And then threw it
[31:06]
In the river
[31:06]
And the river
[31:07]
Took it to a trash dump
[31:09]
And then they shot
[31:10]
That on film
Stuart Wellington
[31:11]
So
[31:12]
So what's the next
[31:14]
Step for him now
[31:15]
Is he going to make
[31:16]
Like a Punch Drunk Love
[31:17]
Type of movie
[31:18]
Sucker Punch Drunk Love
[31:20]
Yeah
Dan McCoy
[31:20]
Yeah no
[31:21]
I think you're right though
[31:22]
Like he has to step back
[31:23]
Right
[31:23]
I don't know
[31:24]
He could keep going
[31:25]
He's gone so far
[31:26]
Up his own ass
[31:27]
In like the CGI
[31:28]
He'll make Wes Anderson
Stuart Wellington
[31:29]
Style bullshit movies
Elliott Kalan
[31:30]
At this point
[31:31]
Like a movie about
[31:32]
A director named
[31:32]
Zack Snyder
[31:33]
Making a crazy movie
[31:34]
Eh
[31:35]
I call it Snyder Punch
Stuart Wellington
[31:37]
So he's just going to
[31:39]
Keep the punch element
[31:41]
To all his movies
[31:41]
Oh yeah
Elliott Kalan
[31:42]
Sucker Punch and Judy
[31:43]
Sure
[31:44]
He's going to do that
[31:47]
Hawaiian Punch movie
[31:48]
They've been talking about
[31:49]
For a while
[31:50]
Starring Punchy
[31:51]
He's going to do
[31:51]
A second adaptation
Dan McCoy
[31:52]
Of Almore Leonard's
[31:55]
Rum Punch
[31:55]
Yep
[31:56]
It's going to be a whole thing
Elliott Kalan
[31:57]
He's going to do
[31:59]
A movie called Punch Card
[31:59]
Just about Punch Cards
Stuart Wellington
[32:01]
So what
[32:02]
When do we get to say
Dan McCoy
[32:04]
What we think about the movie
[32:05]
When do we get to give our
[32:06]
Final Punch
[32:07]
Let's do that now
[32:07]
Because I think that you're
[32:08]
You're chafing it a bit
Elliott Kalan
[32:09]
Let's do our final Punchments
Dan McCoy
[32:11]
Was it a good bad movie
[32:13]
A bad bad movie
[32:14]
Or a movie you kind of liked
[32:15]
Stuart
[32:16]
This was not a movie
Stuart Wellington
[32:18]
I kind of liked
[32:19]
Nor was it a good bad movie
[32:21]
Thanks for eliminating
[32:22]
Those possibilities
[32:22]
Thus it would only be
[32:25]
A bad bad movie
[32:25]
By logic
[32:26]
This was a movie
[32:27]
That the three of us
[32:28]
Were like
Dan McCoy
[32:28]
It's like he's a detective
[32:29]
And he's gathered us
[32:30]
In a room
[32:31]
Not one more thing
Elliott Kalan
[32:32]
I didn't like this movie
[32:33]
What were you saying Stuart
Stuart Wellington
[32:35]
Well we were looking at
[32:36]
The potential movies
[32:38]
We could have watched
[32:38]
And I think the three of us
[32:40]
Were all like
[32:41]
I'd rather watch
[32:42]
Sucker Punch
[32:43]
Of those things
[32:44]
And then about ten minutes
[32:45]
Into the movie
[32:46]
We were like
Elliott Kalan
[32:46]
Maybe we could go back
[32:48]
And watch one of those movies
[32:49]
We should have picked
[32:50]
Country Strong after all
[32:51]
Yeah
Stuart Wellington
[32:52]
It's a movie
[32:53]
I was going for Red Riding Hood
[32:54]
But
Elliott Kalan
[32:54]
It's a movie where
[32:55]
We'll see them all
[32:56]
We'll see them all guys
[32:57]
We were watching the movie
[32:58]
And then Stuart said
[32:59]
Hey look at that cat
[33:00]
And we saw Dan's cat
[33:01]
Was just lying on the kitchen floor
[33:02]
And I for about three minutes
[33:04]
Just watched the cat
[33:05]
And like my enjoyment
[33:06]
If I had one of those dials
[33:08]
Where you choose
[33:08]
Like or dislike
[33:09]
I would have turned it
[33:10]
Way to like
[33:11]
And then back to dislike
[33:12]
When my eyes went to the movie again
Dan McCoy
[33:14]
Yeah no I agree
[33:15]
It's a bad movie
[33:17]
So you have a choice
Elliott Kalan
[33:17]
Between this and a cat
Dan McCoy
[33:18]
A cat which Elliot is allergic to
Elliott Kalan
[33:21]
I don't like cats
[33:22]
But I prefer watching a cat
[33:24]
Lying down
[33:24]
Not doing anything
[33:25]
To
[33:26]
Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[33:27]
To a guy with a mustache
[33:29]
Talking very closely
Dan McCoy
[33:30]
To scantily clad women
[33:31]
As I said during the movie
[33:33]
This is not the most boring movie
[33:35]
We've watched
[33:36]
But it is the stupidest movie
[33:37]
We've watched
Elliott Kalan
[33:38]
Yeah
[33:38]
It may be the stupidest movie
[33:39]
I've ever seen
Dan McCoy
[33:40]
So blurb that
[33:43]
Zack Snyder
[33:43]
The stupidest movie
[33:45]
And I also call it
Elliott Kalan
[33:48]
A bad bad movie
[33:49]
Stupid
Dan McCoy
[33:51]
So
[33:52]
Rock stupid
[33:52]
Very stupid
Elliott Kalan
[33:53]
It's rare that you see a movie
[33:55]
And you're like
[33:55]
Someone wrote this
[33:57]
Like
[33:58]
And then someone else
[33:59]
Read that
[34:00]
And said
[34:01]
Okay we'll make this
[34:02]
And then like
[34:02]
A hundred other people
[34:04]
Spent time working on it
[34:05]
Like
Dan McCoy
[34:05]
Yeah I mean
[34:06]
This is like
[34:06]
This is not a poorly made movie
[34:08]
Like that's the thing
[34:09]
I mean it's not a
[34:10]
The production values are high
Stuart Wellington
[34:11]
You know I've known a girl or two
[34:13]
In my life
[34:14]
And I'm gonna tell you
[34:15]
Not a single girl
[34:16]
That I've
[34:16]
Yeah
[34:16]
Not a single girl
[34:17]
That I've known
[34:18]
Has
[34:19]
In her fantasy worlds
[34:21]
It's all fucking
[34:22]
Steampunk zombies
[34:23]
And samurai swords
[34:24]
Yeah
[34:24]
I mean
[34:25]
Most girls
[34:25]
Couldn't give a shit
[34:26]
About that stuff
[34:27]
Well I've been going about
Dan McCoy
[34:30]
This romance thing
[34:31]
All wrong
[34:31]
I mean
[34:32]
Number one
[34:33]
I brought you a gift
Stuart Wellington
[34:36]
It's a Sailor Moon costume
[34:37]
Yeah
[34:37]
And a samurai sword
Dan McCoy
[34:38]
And a samurai sword
[34:40]
You just put this on
[34:41]
And pretend I'm a big
[34:42]
Pagoda head
[34:44]
You know
[34:45]
Sort of samurai
Elliott Kalan
[34:46]
Here are your thigh high stockings
[34:48]
And your World War II
[34:49]
Bomber helmets
Dan McCoy
[34:49]
I issue these to all of my
[34:53]
Love interests
[34:54]
All of my lovers
[34:55]
And uh
[34:57]
Yeah
Elliott Kalan
[34:58]
When you said
[34:59]
I've known a girl or two
[35:00]
It sounded like it was
[35:00]
The intro to
[35:01]
Stewart's stories
[35:02]
And you're gonna tell
[35:04]
Another tale
[35:04]
Of a woman loved and lost
Stuart Wellington
[35:06]
The red shoe stewards
Elliott Kalan
[35:09]
The red stew diaries
[35:10]
That's better Danny
Stuart Wellington
[35:11]
Yeah I know
[35:12]
He gets the point for that one
[35:13]
Well look
[35:14]
Thank you
[35:14]
So it's zero one
Dan McCoy
[35:15]
I think
[35:15]
No I think
[35:16]
I mean
[35:16]
I think we can
[35:17]
You know
[35:17]
We share credit on that
[35:18]
Nope
[35:19]
Point Elliot
[35:19]
Zero two
[35:20]
Zero two
[35:21]
Yeah
[35:21]
What?
[35:22]
You're digging the hole
[35:23]
I don't understand
[35:25]
Why I keep losing points
[35:26]
In this situation
[35:26]
Do I get another point for that?
[35:28]
Negative one to two
Stuart Wellington
[35:29]
Oh god
Dan McCoy
[35:29]
So um
[35:32]
I got some letters here
[35:34]
Letters from listeners
[35:36]
Letters
Elliott Kalan
[35:37]
Hey you like this part Elliot
[35:38]
This is my favorite
[35:39]
Part of the show
[35:40]
Letters from readers
[35:42]
Letters from readers
[35:43]
What do they say
[35:44]
And what do we say
[35:45]
In return
[35:46]
Letters from leaders
[35:47]
Transcripts
[35:48]
Letters from greeters
[35:49]
Chatters from beaters
Stuart Wellington
[35:51]
Chad from Wichita says
[35:53]
I really hate it
[35:54]
When Elliot makes up songs
[35:55]
But Belinda from Wisconsin
Elliott Kalan
[35:58]
Says
[35:59]
More songs please
Dan McCoy
[36:00]
Alright well
[36:02]
Now that you're done
[36:03]
With me
Elliott Kalan
[36:03]
Francois from Paris
[36:04]
Says
[36:04]
Oh
[36:05]
Apre vous
[36:06]
More songs
[36:07]
Alright
[36:10]
Enough
[36:10]
Made up letters
[36:11]
But Seamus from Dublin
[36:12]
Says
[36:13]
I am ambivalent
[36:14]
About the songs
[36:15]
50-50
[36:17]
So
Dan McCoy
[36:19]
I guess
Elliott Kalan
[36:20]
I'll decide it
[36:21]
On a case by case basis
Stuart Wellington
[36:23]
Do an accent Dan
Dan McCoy
[36:26]
Um
[36:27]
No just read the letter
[36:28]
In an accent
[36:30]
This is called
[36:32]
Michael Caine
[36:32]
In an American accent
[36:33]
Michael Caine
[36:34]
Okay
[36:34]
People
[36:35]
This is
[36:36]
This email is
[36:38]
Do Bob Caine
Elliott Kalan
[36:39]
Creator of Batman
Dan McCoy
[36:41]
People that sound like
[36:43]
Other people
[36:44]
Is this
[36:44]
The name of this email
Elliott Kalan
[36:45]
People that sound like
[36:46]
Other people
[36:47]
Uh yeah
[36:47]
I can't understand you
[36:48]
Michael Caine
[36:49]
It's from
Dan McCoy
[36:49]
It's from Jeremiah
[36:51]
Last name withheld
[36:52]
He says
[36:52]
I started listening
[36:55]
About the same time
[36:55]
The AV Club review
[36:56]
Came out
[36:57]
But not via
[36:57]
The AV Club
[36:58]
Oh
[36:59]
Yes
[36:59]
So he's an
[37:00]
Original
[37:00]
He wants to make sure
[37:02]
That he
[37:03]
Are you making fun of him
[37:04]
No he's just saying
[37:05]
That he was into it
[37:05]
Before it got popular
[37:06]
Look he's
Elliott Kalan
[37:07]
It's a classic hipster move
[37:08]
Yeah
[37:08]
He's an OF
[37:09]
Original flopper
Dan McCoy
[37:10]
But uh
[37:11]
He says
[37:12]
A man's a fan
Elliott Kalan
[37:12]
Is what I say
[37:13]
Yeah
[37:13]
And a man's a man
[37:15]
And a can's a can
[37:17]
I say that at dinner
Stuart Wellington
[37:18]
In the bathroom
Elliott Kalan
[37:19]
You do say that a lot
[37:20]
I do
[37:20]
A fan's a fan
[37:21]
If you had a
[37:23]
Marvel Comics card
[37:24]
And there was a quote
[37:24]
On the back
[37:25]
It would say
[37:26]
A fan's a fan
[37:27]
Stu Wellington
[37:27]
No said
[37:28]
Stu Comics
[37:29]
Number 157
[37:30]
But he says
Dan McCoy
[37:32]
I assume that you'll be
[37:33]
Getting more letters
[37:34]
To sort through
[37:34]
From now on
[37:35]
Most of them offering
[37:36]
Elliot lucrative
[37:36]
Contracts with major labels
[37:38]
I think he could be
[37:39]
The next Rebecca Black
[37:40]
Yeah
[37:41]
Wait what
[37:42]
I started downloading
[37:43]
Your podcast
[37:44]
Directly to my iPhone
[37:45]
And had no idea
[37:46]
What any of you
[37:46]
Look like
[37:47]
I cast Mo Rocca
[37:49]
As Elliot
[37:49]
Jason Siegel
[37:50]
As Dan
[37:51]
And Seth Rogen
[37:51]
As the equally funny
[37:52]
Steward
[37:53]
Seth Rogen's
[37:54]
Really close
[37:54]
Since these soundalikes
[37:55]
Are so perfect
[37:56]
I assume you've been
[37:57]
Told this before
Elliott Kalan
[37:58]
I don't like
[37:59]
Sounding like Mo Rocca
Dan McCoy
[38:00]
I was also wondering
[38:02]
If you guys could
[38:03]
Attach a Google voice
[38:04]
Account to your email
[38:05]
So listeners could
[38:05]
Quote call in
[38:06]
Allowing you to play
[38:07]
Their messages
[38:07]
On their show
[38:08]
That's not a bad idea
[38:09]
That is a good idea
[38:10]
I will look into
[38:11]
The science of that
[38:13]
Technology guys
[38:15]
I've never heard
Elliott Kalan
[38:15]
Of Google voice
[38:16]
What is that
[38:16]
Like a voicemail
[38:17]
For Google
[38:17]
I guess it's all
[38:19]
In the name
Dan McCoy
[38:19]
I mean as for
[38:20]
These soundalikes
[38:21]
You know
[38:23]
Elliot is less
[38:23]
Hunchbacked
[38:24]
Than Mo Rocca
[38:25]
And Stuart and I
[38:27]
Are more
[38:28]
Marocca is a very
[38:28]
Good posture
[38:29]
Svelte
[38:30]
Than Jason Siegel
[38:31]
And Seth Rogen
[38:33]
But
Stuart Wellington
[38:33]
Although my
[38:34]
Similarity to
[38:35]
Seth Rogen
[38:36]
Has
[38:37]
I hooked up
[38:38]
With a girl
[38:39]
One time
[38:39]
Who described me
[38:40]
As a cuter
[38:40]
Version of
[38:41]
That guy
[38:41]
And knocked up
[38:42]
So
[38:43]
Thank you
[38:44]
Seth Rogen
Dan McCoy
[38:44]
Similarly
[38:46]
I need to
[38:47]
Go down to
[38:47]
This next email
[38:48]
Which
[38:49]
Are you sure
[38:49]
She didn't mean
[38:50]
One of his
[38:51]
Weirdo friends
[38:51]
That live in the house
[38:52]
Jonah Hill
Elliott Kalan
[38:53]
She meant Jonah Hill
Stuart Wellington
[38:54]
Probably Jonah Hill
[38:55]
Yeah
[38:55]
I mean I think
[38:56]
I'm cuter than Jonah Hill
[38:57]
He's got that
[38:58]
He's very cuddly
[38:59]
He's got that arm
[39:00]
But the
Dan McCoy
[39:01]
That burned arm
[39:02]
I don't know about that
[39:03]
The next email
[39:04]
Is on a similar vein
[39:05]
And it says
[39:06]
Stuart Wellington
[39:07]
It's weird
[39:09]
That his name
[39:09]
Sounds so regal
[39:10]
So fancy
[39:11]
Stuart Wellington
[39:12]
You practically
[39:13]
Expect an Esquire
[39:14]
Or the third
[39:15]
Tacked on to the end
[39:16]
And yet he sounds
[39:17]
Just like
[39:18]
Seth Rogen
[39:19]
It throws me off
[39:21]
I feel like his name
[39:22]
Should be Dan
[39:23]
Elliot's name
[39:24]
Should be Stuart
[39:25]
And Dan can stay Dan
Elliott Kalan
[39:26]
Thank you
[39:27]
I'm glad that I sound
[39:27]
So regal
Dan McCoy
[39:28]
Keep up the good work guys
[39:29]
I suggest starting
[39:30]
A huge battle
[39:31]
With how did this get made
Elliott Kalan
[39:32]
Well I don't
[39:33]
What name did they
[39:34]
Suggest for Stuart
Dan McCoy
[39:35]
Elliot
[39:35]
Like Ralph
[39:36]
He said that
[39:38]
Blotto
[39:38]
His name should be Dan
[39:40]
Sluggo
[39:40]
Wait
[39:41]
Sluggo Wellington
[39:42]
Dan can stay Dan
[39:43]
But Stuart is Dan too
[39:44]
There's two Dan
[39:45]
This isn't
[39:45]
You and me Daniel
[39:46]
How about that
Stuart Wellington
[39:47]
And I'll be Danny
[39:48]
Like I'm just like
[39:49]
A little kid
[39:50]
Goofing off
[39:50]
Hanging out
Dan McCoy
[39:51]
Yeah that's fine
[39:52]
Little Danny
Stuart Wellington
[39:54]
Cause if you were Danny McCoy
[39:55]
You'd be that awesome character
[39:56]
From Las Vegas
[39:57]
The TV show
[40:00]
Not the city
[40:01]
Oh
Elliott Kalan
[40:01]
Okay
[40:03]
You got it
Stuart Wellington
[40:05]
Yeah I think I got it
[40:06]
You're up to speed
[40:07]
Wait what
[40:07]
Just a bit
[40:08]
Wait
Dan McCoy
[40:09]
No you're doing a bit
[40:11]
I turned into Stuart
[40:12]
Oh no
[40:13]
It's one of those switch em ups
[40:14]
Like you're Ryan Reynolds
[40:15]
And Jason Bateman
[40:16]
I don't know what you're talking about
Elliott Kalan
[40:18]
Wow
[40:18]
Is that that movie where
[40:19]
Jason Bateman has two
[40:21]
Babies
[40:22]
And Ryan Reynolds
[40:23]
Gives birth to two grown women
[40:24]
Yeah
[40:24]
And he grabs them by the butt
[40:26]
In a billboard
[40:26]
We were talking about
Dan McCoy
[40:27]
The poster to this
[40:29]
On the subway
[40:29]
What's it called
[40:30]
The switch em up
[40:31]
It's the switch
[40:32]
Isn't it
[40:32]
Or something like that
[40:33]
Switch a room
[40:33]
Isn't switch
Elliott Kalan
[40:34]
The movie where
[40:35]
Jimmy Smits comes back
[40:36]
As a lady
[40:36]
No
[40:37]
A lady
[40:37]
Ellen Barkin
[40:38]
And Jimmy
[40:38]
Ellen Barkin's a lady
[40:40]
And Jimmy Smits
[40:40]
Is the guy
[40:41]
Yeah
[40:41]
But she's not Jimmy Smits
Dan McCoy
[40:43]
No
[40:43]
No he just
[40:43]
She
[40:44]
The sexist guy died
[40:46]
And came back
[40:47]
As female
[40:48]
As Ellen Barkin
Elliott Kalan
[40:49]
As opposed to male Ellen Barkin
Dan McCoy
[40:50]
Male Ellen Barkin
[40:54]
Did not have a good career
[40:55]
As opposed to Elmo Barkin
[40:56]
No but
[40:58]
Yeah
[40:59]
No
[40:59]
Elliot and I were talking about
[41:00]
How creepy
[41:01]
The poster for
[41:02]
Whatever
[41:03]
The change switch
[41:05]
The change em ups
[41:05]
Is
[41:06]
Because it
[41:07]
It has a
[41:08]
It like makes a direct correlation
[41:09]
Between two babies
[41:10]
And two
[41:11]
Two babies
[41:11]
Hot ladies
[41:12]
In their underwear
[41:13]
And it kind of
[41:14]
Creeps us out
[41:15]
A little bit
Elliott Kalan
[41:15]
It's infantilizing them
[41:16]
Much the way
[41:17]
Sucker Punch does
[41:18]
While still sexualizing them
[41:20]
It's kind of like
[41:21]
Betty Boop
[41:22]
The sexy baby
[41:23]
So
[41:23]
Ethan last name
[41:25]
Was held
[41:25]
I hope that answers
[41:27]
Your question
Dan McCoy
[41:27]
What was the question
[41:28]
There was no question
[41:29]
Okay
Elliott Kalan
[41:30]
What was the
[41:30]
What was the last thing
[41:31]
They said
Dan McCoy
[41:31]
They wanted us to start
[41:32]
A huge battle
[41:33]
Of how did this get made
[41:34]
Which
[41:35]
I think we could do
[41:36]
If how did this get made
[41:38]
Was aware that we existed
[41:39]
I mean
Elliott Kalan
[41:40]
It's kind of
Stuart Wellington
[41:41]
I mean is it like
[41:41]
A wrestling match
[41:42]
Because I mean
[41:43]
We might win
[41:44]
What do those guys look like
[41:45]
Are they really tough
Elliott Kalan
[41:46]
I imagine weedy
[41:46]
And kind of
[41:47]
I mean I think
Dan McCoy
[41:48]
I think it's
[41:49]
We're equally
[41:50]
Physically matched
[41:50]
With those guys
[41:51]
I mean they do know
Elliott Kalan
[41:52]
I was an Olympic wrestler
[41:53]
Right
[41:53]
Right
[41:54]
Yeah
[41:55]
In a dream I had
[41:55]
That's true
[41:56]
I mean I'm not
Dan McCoy
[41:57]
You did come up with
[41:58]
The famous move
[41:59]
The liberator
[41:59]
Oh yeah
[42:00]
Well that's not allowed
[42:01]
You're not allowed
[42:01]
To talk about
[42:02]
The liberator
Elliott Kalan
[42:02]
Liberator only
[42:03]
You know it when you see it
[42:04]
Yeah
[42:05]
But the
[42:05]
I have actually
[42:07]
Never listened to their podcast
[42:08]
I don't know what it's like
Dan McCoy
[42:10]
I listened to it once
[42:11]
And I'm not saying
[42:12]
I didn't care for it that much
[42:14]
I just
[42:14]
I got a real job
[42:17]
And I have less time
[42:18]
For podcasts
[42:18]
All of a sudden
[42:19]
That's my problem
[42:20]
Sure
[42:20]
I don't even know
[42:21]
What we're talking about
[42:22]
Let's go on
Elliott Kalan
[42:23]
But I say
[42:24]
There's enough room
[42:25]
In the podcast diverse
[42:26]
For two
[42:27]
Two bad movie podcasts
[42:28]
Let's let the market decide
[42:30]
Or in fact
Dan McCoy
[42:30]
Several bad movie podcasts
[42:31]
Because there are a lot of them
[42:32]
This email is called
[42:36]
Thanks and two requests
[42:38]
It says
[42:39]
I found your podcast
[42:40]
Through the AV club
[42:41]
And you guys have
[42:41]
Quickly become
Elliott Kalan
[42:42]
Someone who will admit it
[42:43]
My favorite podcast
[42:44]
I appreciate the honesty
[42:46]
Oh that's nice
[42:46]
Favorite
[42:47]
Wow
[42:47]
Thank you
Dan McCoy
[42:48]
Two requests
[42:48]
Number one
[42:49]
Can you guys not be so beholden
[42:52]
To keeping individual show lengths
[42:53]
To under an hour
[42:54]
Although it doesn't happen often
[42:55]
The time limit allows
[42:56]
For an organic
[42:57]
And satisfactory end
[42:59]
There are few times
[43:00]
When discussions
[43:00]
With the flop
[43:01]
Has been cut short
[43:02]
Or recommendations abandoned
[43:04]
In order to
[43:05]
Quote
[43:05]
Be on time
[43:06]
If there's a technical
[43:07]
Or personal reason
[43:08]
For the time limit
[43:09]
I would more than understand
[43:10]
But I feel like
[43:12]
Getting read
[43:12]
Of the time limit
[43:14]
Would allow for more
[43:14]
Opportunities for what
[43:15]
Your listeners love
[43:16]
Including in no particular order
[43:18]
More appearances by
[43:19]
The Flophouse Housecat
[43:20]
More
[43:21]
Housecat
[43:23]
More mournful size
[43:25]
Registered trademark
[43:26]
More opportunities
[43:28]
For hacky screenplay pitches
[43:30]
More lists of things
[43:31]
Hacky
[43:31]
Holy shit
[43:32]
Come on
[43:32]
More lists of things
[43:34]
Vaguely related
[43:34]
To some rambling tangent
[43:36]
More words that sound
[43:37]
Like other words
[43:38]
Oh dearest to my heart
[43:39]
Well to answer that
[43:41]
First up
[43:42]
There was a technical reason
[43:44]
Originally
[43:44]
The older version
[43:45]
Of GarageBand
[43:46]
Tended to conk out
[43:48]
After an hour
[43:49]
Now it's probably more
[43:51]
That we're just tired
[43:52]
After an hour
Elliott Kalan
[43:53]
Well I'm just amazed
[43:53]
That someone is asking
[43:54]
To hear more of us
[43:55]
Jabbering on
Dan McCoy
[43:56]
Yeah I've heard
[43:57]
More frequently
[43:57]
Less
[43:58]
Our friend Brad
[44:00]
In particular
[44:00]
Stuart
[44:01]
Is very keen on
Stuart Wellington
[44:03]
Friend Brad
[44:04]
Last name withheld
Dan McCoy
[44:04]
Yeah he would like us
[44:06]
To cut the show
[44:07]
To about half
[44:08]
Half his list
Stuart Wellington
[44:08]
He's grouchy
[44:09]
And old though
[44:10]
That's true
[44:11]
He sounds like
[44:11]
A young vibrant
[44:12]
Listener
[44:13]
Yeah someone we can
Elliott Kalan
[44:14]
Count on to stay
[44:14]
With us through
[44:15]
All our many changes
Dan McCoy
[44:16]
I'm just saying
[44:16]
I'm just saying
Dan McCoy
[44:16]
That there are
[44:17]
A plethora
[44:18]
Of different responses
[44:19]
That people have
Elliott Kalan
[44:20]
Let's teach the controversy
[44:21]
Often it's
[44:22]
Often it's a matter
[44:23]
Of time for us to
[44:24]
Because we do this
[44:24]
After work
Dan McCoy
[44:25]
And it's late
[44:26]
And we're sweating
[44:27]
Because we turned
[44:28]
The air conditioner off
[44:29]
Because we didn't want
[44:30]
The constant hum
[44:31]
In the background
[44:32]
And we're wrestling
Elliott Kalan
[44:33]
And there's an old show
[44:34]
And we're wearing parkas
[44:37]
And whale blubber
[44:40]
There's an old showbiz
[44:41]
We're eating pemmican
[44:41]
And it's just wasabi
[44:45]
And I started to get sleepy
Stuart Wellington
[44:46]
After about five beers
Elliott Kalan
[44:48]
There's an old showbiz saying
[44:50]
Always leave them wanting more
Stuart Wellington
[44:51]
So that'd be answered
[44:54]
Oh so you like tease them
[44:55]
A little bit
Elliott Kalan
[44:55]
I mean not tease them
[44:57]
You give them
Stuart Wellington
[44:57]
Yeah
[44:59]
You know just the tip
[45:00]
Yeah sure
Elliott Kalan
[45:01]
Let's go on to the second request
[45:02]
Second request
[45:04]
Which I assume is
[45:04]
Lady in red
[45:05]
Second request
[45:05]
Lady in red
Dan McCoy
[45:07]
It's actually
[45:08]
Careless Whisper
[45:08]
Dancing
[45:09]
Oh
Elliott Kalan
[45:09]
Careless Whisper
Dan McCoy
[45:11]
I don't know that song
[45:12]
So this is
[45:15]
The third
[45:16]
Voice sound related
[45:19]
Why are you looking at me?
[45:21]
Email of the evening
[45:22]
Because you've got a voice
[45:23]
Why are you creeping me out?
[45:24]
Maybe it's because I listened
[45:26]
Mostly through the
[45:26]
Two times function
[45:28]
But Stuart's voice
[45:29]
Began to sound
[45:30]
Increasingly like that
[45:31]
Of the character of
[45:31]
Krieger
[45:32]
From the show Archer
[45:33]
It might be the dulcet
[45:35]
And sonorous tones
[45:36]
Or the fascination
[45:37]
Obsession
[45:37]
With hilarious non sequiturs
[45:39]
And willingness to voice
[45:40]
Opinions from deep
[45:41]
Within the human id
[45:42]
I'm thinking specifically
[45:43]
Of his desire to
[45:44]
Fingerbang
[45:45]
Zooey Deschanel
[45:46]
Or really anytime
[45:47]
He's talked about porn
[45:49]
From soft X
[45:51]
To triple X
Stuart Wellington
[45:52]
That's the guy with the
[45:54]
The scientist
[45:55]
Yeah the electronic girlfriend
[45:57]
Yeah yeah
Elliott Kalan
[45:57]
I actually can see it
[45:58]
I can hear that
[45:59]
Okay
Dan McCoy
[45:59]
And you have an electronic girlfriend
[46:01]
Yeah of course
[46:02]
She's pneumatic
[46:04]
Yeah
[46:05]
But it became hard
[46:06]
It's the Svedka robot
[46:07]
Hard to distinguish
[46:09]
His sound from that
[46:11]
Of the cartoon character
[46:12]
I therefore request
[46:13]
That he either stop
[46:14]
Talking about such topics
[46:15]
Or that he only
[46:16]
Talk about such topics
[46:18]
His choice
[46:18]
Thanks in advance
[46:19]
First name withheld
[46:21]
Segal
[46:22]
Really
[46:23]
He was withholding
[46:24]
The first name
[46:24]
Oh
[46:25]
He was very withholding
[46:26]
I bet it was
[46:26]
Jason Segal
[46:27]
Of the Muppet movie
Stuart Wellington
[46:27]
That's the trick
[46:28]
The trick
[46:29]
The trick to be remembered
[46:30]
Is to give him something
[46:32]
You know
[46:32]
Give him something strange
[46:33]
Yeah
Elliott Kalan
[46:34]
Make it different
[46:35]
Like Sucker Punch
Stuart Wellington
[46:35]
Yeah it's like
[46:36]
It's like the game
[46:37]
Like how to hook up
[46:38]
With a chick
[46:39]
So you gotta trick him
Elliott Kalan
[46:40]
I thought you meant
[46:41]
The movie The Game
[46:41]
With Michael Douglas
[46:42]
Well yeah
Stuart Wellington
[46:43]
And now you gotta trick him too
[46:44]
It is a big trick
[46:45]
Spoiler alert
[46:46]
There's Sean Penns in it
[46:48]
It's not really a spoiler
[46:50]
I think he's in the first scene
[46:52]
No he's got a mustache though
Elliott Kalan
[46:53]
I don't
[46:54]
Does he?
[46:55]
I think so
[46:55]
You might be thinking of
[46:57]
The assassination of Richard Nixon
[46:58]
That's a movie?
[47:01]
Yeah with Sean Penn
Dan McCoy
[47:02]
I don't want to watch that
[47:03]
So
[47:03]
So I guess what you're saying
[47:06]
Stuart is
[47:06]
You're just gonna
[47:07]
You're gonna keep talking
[47:08]
About sex stuff
Stuart Wellington
[47:09]
Yeah probably
[47:10]
Stop trying to tie me down
[47:13]
Guy
Dan McCoy
[47:13]
Yeah if Stuart's gotta fly free
[47:15]
Yeah he's like the wind
[47:15]
I'm a bird man
[47:17]
So this last
[47:19]
A big Coors Light drinking bird
[47:21]
This last
Stuart Wellington
[47:22]
Probably an eagle in that case
[47:24]
Yeah
[47:24]
Gonna fly like an eagle
Dan McCoy
[47:26]
This last email of the evening
[47:29]
Is titled
[47:30]
Oh it's already so soon
[47:31]
Animal Wrangling
[47:32]
And it says
[47:34]
And it's about Stuart
[47:34]
I was so happy to hear Stuart was able to pull himself up
[47:38]
By his bootstraps
[47:40]
And land a job at the Daily Show
[47:42]
As an esteemed animal wrangler
Elliott Kalan
[47:43]
Oh yeah I forgot that bit
[47:45]
I mean real facts
Dan McCoy
[47:45]
However that joy soon turned into dread
[47:48]
When I recalled a July 2008 Daily Show segment
[47:52]
Featuring the talented Kristen Schaal
[47:54]
And previous animal wrangler
[47:56]
Carrying in a cougar
[47:57]
And placing her on John's lap
[47:59]
That segment provided the evidence
[48:00]
I long suspected
[48:01]
The backstage of the Daily Show
[48:03]
Is waist deep in cougars
[48:04]
Of course cougars' constant need for attention
[48:07]
In lustful ways
[48:08]
Would be too much for a single animal wrangler
[48:10]
So my question for Stuart is
[48:12]
Where do you fall in the hierarchy
[48:13]
Of the Daily Show animal wrangling department?
Stuart Wellington
[48:16]
I'm an apprentice animal angler
[48:18]
I am not allowed to handle the cougars yet
[48:21]
That's why I stick with the scorbians
[48:23]
As I previously said
[48:24]
I can remember that much
[48:25]
It's a very carapace based
[48:26]
But knowing you
Elliott Kalan
[48:27]
You probably handle the boogers
[48:28]
Up top Dan
[48:29]
You got him
[48:30]
I don't know
[48:31]
Zing
[48:31]
I don't
[48:32]
High five me
[48:33]
No I can't
[48:34]
High five me
[48:34]
I can't do it
[48:35]
High five me
[48:35]
Okay
[48:35]
High five me
[48:36]
Is my jaw on the line?
[48:37]
Yes
[48:38]
Okay
[48:38]
Yeah you heard it folks
Stuart Wellington
[48:40]
So boogers
Elliott Kalan
[48:41]
What were we talking about?
[48:44]
Your job
[48:44]
Your made up job
[48:45]
Of the Daily Show
[48:46]
Made up job
[48:47]
Okay
[48:47]
You gotta be a dick about it
Stuart Wellington
[48:49]
I'm trying to seem cool
[48:50]
To our listeners man
[48:51]
They
[48:51]
You know
[48:52]
They already think you're cool
[48:53]
They think you're Seth Rogen
[48:54]
You guys have really fun
[48:55]
Nice
[48:55]
Yeah
[48:56]
You super cool
[48:56]
Green Hornet
[48:57]
In terms of like
[48:57]
The amount of
[48:58]
I can see it on my phone now
Dan McCoy
[49:00]
The amount of
[49:01]
The amount of space
[49:02]
You get in these letters
[49:03]
Like you
[49:04]
I think you
[49:04]
It's shocking
[49:05]
Both of us
[49:05]
Yeah come on
[49:06]
You're the king of the letters
Stuart Wellington
[49:07]
What they're doing is
[49:08]
I think our listeners
[49:10]
Are like
[49:10]
They think I'm the low man
[49:11]
On the totem pole
[49:12]
Because I don't have
[49:13]
Like an awesome comedy job
[49:15]
So they're picking on me
[49:15]
Obviously Dan is the low man
[49:16]
On the totem pole
[49:17]
Yeah
[49:17]
Well
[49:17]
We can all agree on that
[49:18]
I mean Cyclops is the leader though
[49:21]
You know
[49:22]
Leonardo
[49:23]
He's got katana swords
[49:24]
They never use
[49:25]
In terms of popularity though
Elliott Kalan
[49:26]
Yeah
[49:26]
Popularity
Stuart Wellington
[49:27]
I mean if I was gonna get
[49:29]
A ninja turtle tattoo
[49:30]
You can't pronounce it right
[49:30]
That's how unpopular it is
[49:31]
Now
[49:32]
If I was gonna get
[49:33]
A ninja turtle tattoo
[49:34]
It's not gonna be Leonardo
[49:35]
Like if I was gonna get
[49:36]
Their sash
[49:37]
That's over their eyes
[49:38]
Yeah
[49:38]
Is that what the ninja calls
[49:39]
The thing over their eyes
[49:40]
I think you call it like
Elliott Kalan
[49:40]
A bandana
[49:41]
A bandana
[49:42]
Yeah
Stuart Wellington
[49:42]
I'm not gonna get a tattoo
[49:44]
Of Leonardo's color bandana
[49:46]
I'd probably get Raphael
Elliott Kalan
[49:47]
If I was gonna get
[49:48]
A Teenage Ninja Turtle tattoo
[49:50]
It would be
[49:51]
Raphael
[49:52]
Michelangelo
[49:53]
Donatello
[49:54]
And then Raphael again
[49:55]
Wow
[49:56]
So they clone Raphael
[49:58]
I don't know what happens
[49:59]
I just know I'm happier with it
[50:00]
Than Leonardo
[50:01]
I'd probably get
[50:02]
Bebop and Rocksteady
[50:03]
But then I'm kind of an outlaw
[50:04]
Oh yeah
[50:04]
Enough said
[50:05]
Yeah
[50:05]
Baxter Stockman
[50:07]
Well that'd be you
[50:08]
You'd be Baxter Stockman
[50:09]
Before or after he becomes a fly
[50:11]
Uh before
[50:12]
April
[50:12]
April O'Neil
Dan McCoy
[50:13]
In a bikini
[50:14]
Maybe
[50:14]
Well no maybe
[50:15]
Dan it's a cartoon character
[50:16]
You're saying Stuart
[50:18]
Would you touch
[50:18]
April's boobs
[50:19]
As the
[50:20]
As
[50:21]
Penny Metadent
[50:22]
Dinosaur
[50:22]
Guy asked
[50:23]
Did he also ask that
[50:25]
Yeah he also asked
[50:25]
Would you touch April's boobs
[50:26]
Yeah
[50:27]
Wait attach them
[50:28]
You don't remember that
[50:28]
That was the other thing
[50:30]
That they like
[50:30]
One of our letter writers
[50:31]
Discovered
[50:32]
That the
[50:32]
Same guy who asked
[50:34]
Penny Metadent
Stuart Wellington
[50:34]
Are you referencing
[50:35]
That somebody on the internet
[50:37]
Asked a question about
[50:38]
Whether or not
[50:38]
You would be
[50:39]
A person would want to touch
[50:41]
April O'Neil
[50:42]
The character from
[50:42]
G.A.B.
[50:43]
The cartoon
[50:44]
I am referencing
[50:44]
Yeah
Elliott Kalan
[50:45]
The
[50:45]
She's a reporter
[50:47]
I guess
[50:47]
She's a reporter
[50:48]
She's a newswoman
Stuart Wellington
[50:48]
Whether or not
[50:50]
A person would want to touch
[50:51]
A cartoon character's boobs
[50:52]
Yeah
[50:53]
Okay
Elliott Kalan
[50:53]
I am referencing
[50:54]
What would your answer be Stuart
Dan McCoy
[50:55]
Yes of course
[50:56]
That's what I figured
[50:58]
So now that we've settled that
[51:00]
We should move on to our
[51:01]
Final segment of the show
[51:02]
Which is recommendations
[51:03]
Movies
[51:04]
Final segment
[51:04]
That we would actually
[51:05]
Endgame
[51:06]
Recommend
[51:07]
That people watch
[51:08]
Rather than
[51:09]
Say Sucker Punch
[51:10]
I would recommend
Elliott Kalan
[51:12]
I would recommend
[51:12]
Any movie
[51:13]
Rather than
[51:13]
Sucker Punch
[51:14]
Go to the video store
[51:15]
Close your eyes
[51:16]
Pick up a videotape box
[51:17]
Open your eyes
[51:18]
If it's Sucker Punch
[51:19]
Put it down
[51:19]
Otherwise watch it
[51:20]
What if it's
Dan McCoy
[51:23]
Nothing But Trouble
Elliott Kalan
[51:24]
Oh that's a tough one
[51:25]
Oh my god
[51:26]
That's tough
[51:26]
That's one of those
[51:27]
Eat a booger sandwich
[51:28]
Or poop in public
[51:29]
Type of questions
[51:30]
That's a hard one to answer
[51:33]
Nothing But Trouble
[51:34]
That's a bad movie
[51:35]
Anywho
[51:36]
Should I recommend a movie
Dan McCoy
[51:38]
Yes
[51:39]
Unless you want to
[51:40]
Unless we want to get into
[51:41]
This pooping scenario
[51:42]
No I don't think so
Elliott Kalan
[51:43]
I would recommend
[51:44]
A 40's noir
[51:46]
Called Deadline at Dawn
[51:48]
It's a strange little film noir
[51:50]
That doesn't totally make sense
[51:52]
But it's a lot of fun
[51:54]
About a sailor
[51:55]
On leave
[51:56]
Who is
[51:57]
It looks like
[51:58]
He's committed a murder
[51:59]
And he picks up
[52:00]
A taxi dancing girl
[52:01]
And basically
[52:03]
She tries to help him
[52:05]
To figure out
[52:06]
Who the real murderer was
[52:07]
But there are a lot of
[52:08]
Crazy like
[52:09]
Funny side characters
[52:11]
That are introduced
[52:12]
And the screenplay
[52:13]
At least at one stage
[52:14]
Was written by
[52:15]
Clifford Odets
[52:16]
The playwright
[52:17]
And there's a lot of
[52:18]
Really good snappy dialogue
[52:20]
And just kind of
[52:21]
Funny lines
[52:21]
And things like that
[52:22]
And it's a lot of fun
[52:24]
It doesn't make any sense
[52:24]
But it's a good fun movie
Dan McCoy
[52:25]
I watched
[52:27]
Tangled
[52:28]
So that's
[52:29]
Deadline at Dawn
[52:30]
I watched Tangled
[52:31]
Recently
[52:32]
A movie that
[52:33]
Your sister-in-law's
[52:36]
Boyfriend actually worked on
[52:38]
Yes
[52:38]
A nice gentleman
[52:40]
Who got me free tickets
[52:41]
To Disneyland
[52:42]
He is a very nice guy
[52:43]
So
[52:44]
Don't abuse that privilege
[52:45]
Thanks to you
[52:45]
Thanks to him
[52:47]
Thanks to him
[52:48]
But you wouldn't know him
[52:49]
Without me
[52:49]
So really thanks to me
[52:50]
Thanks to both of you
Elliott Kalan
[52:50]
But I also enjoy
[52:52]
Is he going to get in trouble
[52:53]
For Dan talking about this
[52:54]
Thanks for the memories
[52:54]
Probably not
Dan McCoy
[52:55]
No one knows this podcast
[52:56]
Exists
[52:56]
I don't think Michael Eisner
Elliott Kalan
[52:59]
Is sitting at home
[52:59]
Waiting for the next episode
[53:00]
Of The Flophouse to come out
[53:01]
Well
Dan McCoy
[53:02]
But
[53:02]
Well no
[53:02]
But I'm also talking about
[53:03]
How much I like Tangled
[53:04]
So
[53:04]
Okay
[53:05]
So keep going
Stuart Wellington
[53:06]
Tango?
Dan McCoy
[53:07]
Yeah
[53:07]
Tango Cash
Stuart Wellington
[53:08]
That's what I was going to recommend
[53:11]
I'll have to think of something else now
Dan McCoy
[53:12]
No I liked Tangled
[53:14]
It was a
[53:15]
You know
[53:16]
This was
[53:17]
Disney Studios
[53:19]
Computer Animation Division
[53:21]
A film that
[53:23]
Came out after
[53:24]
You know
[53:25]
Pixar
[53:26]
Had
[53:27]
Taken over Disney at large
[53:29]
And I don't know whether
[53:29]
It's good
[53:30]
In part because
[53:31]
You know
[53:33]
Andrew Stanton
[53:34]
Or is it
[53:35]
Wait no
[53:35]
John Lester
[53:36]
Sorry
[53:36]
Of Pixar
[53:37]
Like
[53:38]
Kind of came in
[53:39]
And
[53:39]
Reconceptualized it
[53:42]
Or it's just the natural
[53:43]
Like
[53:44]
Creative upswing
[53:45]
After creative lag
[53:46]
But
[53:47]
It was a
[53:48]
Really nice
[53:48]
Sort of
[53:49]
Combination of
[53:50]
Old style
[53:50]
Disney
[53:51]
Like princess films
[53:52]
And sort of
[53:54]
Like a newer
[53:54]
Like Pixar aesthetic
[53:55]
That I really enjoyed
[53:58]
And
[53:59]
It's got
[53:59]
Some really good voice work
[54:01]
I was surprised at how good
[54:02]
Mandy Moore was
[54:04]
As Rapunzel
[54:05]
And
[54:05]
Zachary Levi
[54:06]
Was very funny
[54:07]
As the male lead
[54:08]
Who's Zachary Levi
[54:09]
People might know him
[54:11]
From TV's Chuck
[54:12]
You probably would not
[54:13]
But other people would
[54:14]
I don't like that show
[54:15]
Yeah
Stuart Wellington
[54:15]
But he was funny in this
[54:17]
That's a show
Dan McCoy
[54:18]
Yeah
[54:18]
It's a show about
[54:19]
A spy
[54:20]
A spy
[54:22]
Nerd
[54:23]
A nerd
[54:24]
A nerd spy
Elliott Kalan
[54:24]
He's not really a nerd though
Dan McCoy
[54:26]
Yeah
[54:27]
He's like a spy
[54:28]
He's a handsome guy
Elliott Kalan
[54:29]
He's handsome
[54:30]
And there's nothing
[54:30]
Really nerdy about him
[54:31]
I mean his hair's messy
[54:32]
So it's a show
[54:33]
About a handsome spy
[54:34]
There's an episode
[54:35]
What turned me off
[54:36]
Of Chuck
[54:36]
A spy
Dan McCoy
[54:37]
But here's the twist
[54:38]
He's a handsome guy
Elliott Kalan
[54:39]
We call it
[54:41]
The handsome spy
[54:43]
The spy who was handsome
[54:45]
Yep
[54:46]
What turned me off
[54:47]
About Chuck
[54:48]
When I watched an episode
[54:49]
Of it
[54:49]
Was partly that
[54:50]
I didn't like it
Stuart Wellington
[54:50]
But also that
[54:51]
Sure you didn't laugh
[54:52]
Or smile
Elliott Kalan
[54:52]
I didn't enjoy it
[54:53]
But there's also
[54:54]
It's a movie where
[54:55]
People are constantly
[54:56]
Saying secret spy stuff
[54:57]
Wait it's a movie?
[54:58]
It's a TV show
[54:58]
Okay
[54:59]
People are constantly
[55:00]
Saying secret spy stuff
[55:01]
Right in front of other people
[55:02]
Who aren't supposed to know
[55:03]
What they're talking about
[55:04]
So like
[55:05]
Chuck and his spy handler
[55:07]
Are talking in a public
[55:08]
Fast food restaurant
[55:09]
With families eating dinner
[55:10]
All around them
[55:10]
About spy stuff
[55:11]
And there's a part where
[55:13]
A guy who's supposed to be
[55:14]
An ally of Chuck
[55:15]
But has really
[55:16]
Got sinister connections
[55:17]
He's at
[55:18]
He's around all these
[55:19]
Other spy people
[55:19]
And he just turns away
[55:20]
From them
[55:21]
And gets on the phone
[55:22]
And goes
[55:22]
Don't worry
[55:23]
Everything's going
[55:23]
According to plan
[55:24]
It's like
[55:24]
They're standing like
[55:25]
A foot away from you
[55:26]
I mean that's
[55:27]
Like going to another room
Stuart Wellington
[55:28]
So
[55:30]
I should watch Chuck?
[55:32]
You should watch Tangled
[55:33]
Okay Tango
Elliott Kalan
[55:34]
And Stuart
[55:35]
What were you going to recommend?
Stuart Wellington
[55:36]
Tangled
[55:36]
Tangled?
[55:38]
Imagination tangos
[55:39]
I'm going to
[55:41]
I'm going to
[55:41]
I'm going to
[55:42]
Change it up a little
[55:43]
Here guys
[55:44]
Which of the two movies?
[55:46]
I'm not going to
[55:46]
Recommend
[55:47]
Invisible Maniac
[55:48]
Or The Great Bikini
[55:49]
Off-Road Adventure
[55:50]
I am going to
[55:52]
Recommend
[55:52]
Dan just recommend
[55:54]
An animated movie
[55:54]
I'll do the same
[55:55]
Castle Freak
[55:56]
The animated movie
[55:57]
The animated series
[55:59]
The animated series
[56:00]
First season
[56:00]
Really?
[56:01]
Yeah
[56:01]
The Rankin Bass
[56:03]
Show
[56:03]
Okay guys
[56:05]
Enough joke em ups
[56:05]
Okay
[56:06]
I'm going to recommend
[56:08]
The Castle of Cagliostro
[56:10]
Hayao Miyazaki
[56:11]
One of his early movies
[56:12]
I think
[56:13]
Pre-Studio Ghibli
[56:15]
I don't know
[56:16]
There's a whole bunch
[56:17]
Of anime nerds
[56:17]
On the internet
[56:18]
So I'm sorry
[56:19]
If I get this wrong
[56:20]
There's a ton of them
[56:21]
I don't think you're right
[56:22]
About that Stuart
[56:23]
I think you've got that wrong
[56:24]
But yeah
[56:25]
I mean
[56:26]
It's a movie
[56:26]
That is
[56:27]
A lot of fun
[56:29]
There's a lot
[56:29]
Better action
[56:30]
Than the movie
[56:31]
We watched today
[56:32]
It moves along
[56:33]
At a good clip
[56:34]
And it's
[56:35]
I don't know
[56:35]
For a movie
[56:36]
About characters
[56:38]
That there's
[56:38]
A million other movies
[56:39]
And comics
[56:40]
And stuff for
[56:41]
Lupin
[56:42]
The master thief
[56:44]
Lupin the third
[56:45]
Yeah
[56:45]
It still manages
[56:47]
To be
[56:48]
Very fresh
[56:50]
And fun
[56:50]
And it's awesome
[56:51]
So
[56:52]
Castle of Cagliostro
[56:53]
So The Cabinet
[56:55]
Of Dr. Caligari
Dan McCoy
[56:56]
Is what Stuart
[56:57]
Recommended
Elliott Kalan
[56:57]
Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
[56:58]
Tango and Cash
[56:59]
And
[57:01]
I don't know
[57:02]
Something
[57:02]
Deadline of Dawn
[57:04]
And Dead Again
[57:06]
Yep
Dan McCoy
[57:07]
So guys
[57:08]
A movie that
[57:09]
Hypnotized everybody
Elliott Kalan
[57:10]
In the late 80s
[57:11]
And the thing was good
Dan McCoy
[57:11]
So we finally did it
[57:14]
We finally watched
[57:15]
Sucker Punch
[57:15]
How do you feel?
Stuart Wellington
[57:17]
Well I'm
[57:19]
Wrecked
[57:20]
I mean
[57:20]
Do you feel like
Dan McCoy
[57:21]
You came out
[57:21]
On the other side
[57:22]
Stronger?
Elliott Kalan
[57:23]
Yeah obviously
[57:24]
Weaker
[57:25]
Much weaker
[57:25]
I feel like
[57:26]
Anything could kill me now
[57:27]
Chicken pox
[57:28]
A tiny cat
[57:29]
Maybe a leaf
[57:29]
Blowing in the wind
Stuart Wellington
[57:30]
It makes me feel like
[57:31]
All the things
[57:32]
That I've sketched
[57:33]
In my notebook
[57:33]
Couldn't come to life
[57:34]
At any minute
Elliott Kalan
[57:35]
Yeah
[57:35]
But all the tools
[57:36]
We have all the tools
[57:37]
In ourselves
[57:38]
In ourselves
[57:39]
Now fight for them
[57:40]
But that's
[57:40]
I do feel like
[57:41]
I could go and look
[57:42]
In my old notebooks
[57:43]
From high school
[57:43]
And be like
[57:44]
Yeah I'll make this
[57:45]
Into a movie
[57:45]
Oh this kind of
[57:46]
Dinosaur man
[57:47]
Who's fighting a robot
[57:47]
Yeah done
Stuart Wellington
[57:48]
Movie
[57:49]
But that dinosaur
[57:50]
Has got it's brain
[57:51]
In like a glass jar
[57:52]
On top of it's head
[57:53]
Like a weird exposed brain
[57:55]
And shoots out
[57:55]
Lighting bolts
[57:56]
Have you been looking
[57:57]
Through my notebooks?
Dan McCoy
[57:57]
Well we'll keep
[58:00]
Looking through
[58:00]
Elliot's notebooks
[58:01]
For more movie ideas
[58:02]
But for now
[58:03]
I've been Dan McCoy
Stuart Wellington
[58:04]
I thought that
[58:05]
That letter writer
[58:06]
Said we shouldn't
[58:07]
Wrap it up so quick
[58:07]
Guys
[58:08]
Guys we're wrapping it
[58:08]
Okay I'm Stuart Wellington
Elliott Kalan
[58:10]
I'm Elliot Kalin
[58:12]
Wrapping it up
[58:12]
Under protest
[58:13]
Good night everyone
[58:14]
Are you downloading something?
Stuart Wellington
[58:19]
You doing some
[58:19]
Johnny Mnemonic over here?
Dan McCoy
[58:21]
Some Johnny Mnemonic
[58:23]
Doing the technical things
[58:24]
That actually allow us
[58:25]
To do
[58:26]
Why is it red over there?
Elliott Kalan
[58:27]
Is red good or bad?
[58:28]
To make the smuckers punch?
Dan McCoy
[58:31]
Sucker punches
[58:32]
Sucker punches
[58:33]
Sucker punches
[58:34]
Sucker punches
[58:34]
Sucker punches
[58:35]
Sucker punches
[58:35]
Wolfman has sucker nards
[58:38]
Sucker wolfman
[58:39]
Sucker nards
Description
0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 5:28 - Tales of Cobra Commander and Twin Sitters5:29 - 32:05 - Zach Snyder somehow finds a way to ruin sexy schoolgirls fighting robotic samurais. 33:37 - 35:32 - Final judgments.35:33 - 50:59 - Flop House Movie Mailbag51:00 - 58:00 - The sad bastards recommend58:01 - 58:43 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
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