The Flop House: Episode #85 - Limitless

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss a movie based entirely on a misunderstanding about how people's

[0:05] brains work, Limitless.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:37] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:39] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:41] Am I close enough?

[0:41] Yeah, you're doing it on my levels.

[0:43] Stuart, I like the chiminess of the way you said your name, like it was a doorbell.

[0:46] Yeah, I tried to do a pregnant pause.

[0:50] I'm glad you didn't do it like La Cucaracha.

[0:54] Okay, how would that go?

[0:56] I don't know.

[0:57] Stuart Wellington, maybe?

[1:00] I don't think I'm going to do that

[1:02] So Elliot

[1:04] Nice try convincing him to do that Dan

[1:07] You failed

[1:09] Yep

[1:11] I was burnt in that instance

[1:13] So welcome to the Flophouse

[1:15] It's a film podcast primarily

[1:17] And well

[1:19] For the first 15 minutes it's usually a

[1:21] Nonsense Flophouse podcast

[1:23] Where we just talk about whatever

[1:25] It's a Flopsense Nodcast

[1:27] So not off to our flops

[1:31] Should we talk about movies today though?

[1:34] Should we talk about what you've been doing?

[1:36] What have you been doing lately Dan?

[1:37] Let's update the listeners

[1:39] What have you been doing?

[1:40] Comedy

[1:42] I've been trying to write comedy

[1:45] Elliot knows

[1:46] He's been down the hall from me

[1:48] Dan's been doing a lot of wandering into my office

[1:50] At different points throughout the day

[1:52] And I was saying hey what's up

[1:53] And he was going nothing

[1:54] And then just him kind of standing in my office

[1:57] and then leaving after a couple minutes while I am trying to do valuable email.

[2:01] You know, I've said many times that if I was wandering into your office too much

[2:07] just to let me know, and apparently the time that you're letting me know is on the air.

[2:12] I just decided to let you know as publicly as possible.

[2:14] Makes it very hard for me to look up pornography at work when you're in my office.

[2:19] Okay.

[2:20] Now, today, guys, we watched a movie.

[2:27] We did watch a movie.

[2:27] Was this a movie with limits?

[2:29] Dan?

[2:31] It was a limitless movie.

[2:32] Why would it be limitless?

[2:34] The title suggested how limitless it was.

[2:36] And what was that title?

[2:37] It was limitless.

[2:39] That was a real come down from that build-up.

[2:41] Anti-climax.

[2:42] There was a limit to how far we could go with that.

[2:45] Starring Bradley Cooper.

[2:47] Yep.

[2:48] Bradley Cooper, who, did he do something before The Hangover?

[2:52] Where did he come from?

[2:53] He was the bad guy in The Wedding Greshers.

[2:56] He was – he played – I forget the name of the character.

[3:00] He was a character on Alias for the first couple of seasons.

[3:04] Was he Jim Alias, the main character?

[3:06] He was James Alias.

[3:08] And is he related to Winnie Cooper?

[3:09] Yes.

[3:10] Yeah, I would imagine.

[3:11] What about Minnie Cooper, their mom?

[3:13] No.

[3:14] Not related to his mom.

[3:17] He was also a bad guy in the Canadian horror movie My Little Eye.

[3:22] So there.

[3:26] He was a Bradley Cooper fan.

[3:29] This is the Coop cast.

[3:30] The internet's biggest Bradley Cooper podcast.

[3:34] Unlike our Cage cast.

[3:35] Usually it's a Cage cast, yeah, or a Heigl cast.

[3:39] Heigl cast?

[3:41] Hypercolor cast?

[3:43] Don't worry about it.

[3:44] So Bradley Cooper's in this movie, and it's about a magical drug that makes him a super genius.

[3:49] It's called NZT.

[3:50] It's a clear little pill that makes you use 100% of your brain because this movie is not based on science.

[3:56] We thought it was a button initially, but then we're not using 100% of our brains, so I don't know what we're saying.

[4:01] That's true.

[4:02] That was like the irritating thing when we watched this trailer.

[4:04] It was – I mean like this was what initially sort of struck our fancy.

[4:08] When all three of us watched this trailer.

[4:09] About this trailer.

[4:10] For our trailer podcast.

[4:11] When it was –

[4:13] The Coming Soon House.

[4:14] When it was like, oh, you know how everyone only uses 20% of their brains?

[4:20] And we're all like, no, that's not a true thing.

[4:22] That's an urban legend.

[4:24] But thank you for basing an entire film on that premise.

[4:27] It's kind of like if they based an entire movie on how if you mix Pop Rocks and Coke, your head explodes.

[4:34] And there's like a scientist who's got to stop people's heads from exploding after they drink Coke while eating Pop Rocks.

[4:40] Yeah.

[4:40] I mean, do they still make Pop Rocks?

[4:42] I mean –

[4:43] It would be set in the 80s or 90s.

[4:45] It would be set in the 90s I guess because then you do 90s fashions, a lot of 90s songs on the soundtrack.

[4:50] You do cameos from 90s stars.

[4:52] I mean I smell a hit.

[4:53] That's going to be a big hit.

[4:54] What do we call it though?

[4:55] Limited.

[4:58] Wait, no.

[5:00] I think you're just –

[5:01] Limited.

[5:01] I love it.

[5:01] I like it.

[5:02] I mean like I sort of imagine that there's like a burst tank down at the Coca-Cola factory and so all the Coca-Cola runs downhill into the Pop Rocks factory.

[5:12] And just taints like a batch of pop rocks.

[5:15] So poorly placed.

[5:15] Well, but then it would explode instantly.

[5:17] No, but no.

[5:18] It's limited to an explosion.

[5:19] It's the combination of the two.

[5:20] Saliva is the third element.

[5:21] The combination of the two.

[5:23] No, no, no.

[5:23] No, I like Dan's comment.

[5:25] It needs human saliva.

[5:27] Like, they tested them on animals.

[5:28] Doesn't work.

[5:29] No explosions.

[5:30] You mean, so we're not going to get to see a dog's head explode?

[5:32] Well, maybe if the dog's head is right next to a human head that's exploding.

[5:37] We see a dog's head explode in earlier trials.

[5:40] But then they're like, okay, we finally worked the kinks out.

[5:43] No one's heads are exploding now.

[5:45] It's cued up to human DNA in this saliva.

[5:49] Okay, well, we figured out the plot.

[5:51] Great.

[5:52] We have the entire movie right there.

[5:53] We have the characters, the dog, the scientist, the pop rock tank.

[5:57] Star power is where you're going, right?

[5:57] I think Tobey Hooper is signed on to direct.

[5:59] Tobey Hooper?

[6:00] Yeah.

[6:01] Who's that?

[6:02] The French director of the Tejas Chainsaw Massacre.

[6:05] That's how chainsaw in summer school refers to him.

[6:10] so I assume that he knows what he's talking about.

[6:12] Oh, yeah, of course.

[6:13] Sure, the fictional character played by James Bond.

[6:15] The fictional character who's so dumb that he's in summer school.

[6:18] But he knows about gore movies.

[6:20] Well, it's not that he's unintelligent.

[6:23] He just can't apply himself.

[6:24] He knows about the director of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[6:28] If anyone knows about the director of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre,

[6:30] it's a guy named Chainsaw.

[6:31] I don't know about that.

[6:33] Maybe a guy named Leatherface would know a little bit about it.

[6:35] Star of the movie.

[6:36] It was about him.

[6:38] Leatherface will murder you.

[6:39] He will not tell you the name.

[6:40] Or he'll try.

[6:41] I mean, Elliot is pretty wicked with a pair of mini chainsaws.

[6:44] Yeah, exactly.

[6:45] Two mini chainsaws, one in each hand.

[6:47] Sure.

[6:48] Actually, two in each hand.

[6:50] So limited.

[6:51] So limited.

[6:52] Who are the 90 stars that we get to appear in this?

[6:55] I assume Criss Cross, The Raptor.

[6:56] So wait, we're going back in time for the...

[6:58] I think Nicole Eggert.

[6:59] Nicole Eggert, great choice.

[7:01] That's like at least one guaranteed nude scene, right?

[7:04] Yeah, Wright said Fred.

[7:05] Sure.

[7:07] He also contributes to the soundtrack, of course.

[7:09] Well, the soundtrack.

[7:10] Oh, yes.

[7:11] Okay, let's talk about Limitless.

[7:13] Let's cut the shit.

[7:14] A real movie that we actually...

[7:16] So Bradley Cooper is a no-name.

[7:20] He's just a guy.

[7:21] His life is in shambles.

[7:22] He lives in a rundown apartment in Chinatown that would actually be pretty expensive nowadays.

[7:26] He's got a splint on his finger.

[7:28] For some reason that's not explained, which is pretty great, actually.

[7:31] And his hair is tied back in kind of a gross, not ponytail exactly.

[7:34] Yeah, like he washed his hair like a couple of days ago, immediately put it in a ponytail, and then just let it sit.

[7:39] It's good for the week.

[7:40] And he has – his girlfriend is breaking up with him, and he owes a novel to a publisher because somehow this guy who's a nobody that is a nothing sold a novel to a publisher without having written it yet.

[7:53] With an advance apparently.

[7:55] Yeah.

[7:56] One would assume that that's what he –

[7:57] There's a lot of things.

[7:58] I assume that.

[7:59] This movie feels like it was written by like a teenager who doesn't have a lot of experience about the real world, which is not to say that it's necessarily a terrible thing.

[8:07] But it's just like you have to pretend that the movie doesn't play by reality.

[8:11] So like nobody can sell a novel to a publishing company with an advance without having written the novel.

[8:16] You only use 20 percent of your brain.

[8:18] Business is mostly made up of like –

[8:21] I've heard that before though.

[8:21] I mean come on.

[8:21] But it's not true.

[8:23] Oh, OK.

[8:24] It's like when I was a kid and they'd be like, here, can you cover your whole face with your hands?

[8:27] That means you're going to get cancer.

[8:29] What?

[8:29] Who are the scientists who have established this?

[8:31] Elliot, that was just a precursor to someone shoving their hand in your face.

[8:35] I don't know if you understand.

[8:35] But they never did that.

[8:36] The kids I knew didn't do that part.

[8:39] They didn't know the punchline.

[8:40] No, they just thought it was a cancer test.

[8:42] Wow.

[8:43] They were trying to help me.

[8:44] They were concerned about you.

[8:46] But one day, Bradley Cooper runs into his ex-brother-in-law, his ex-wife's brother, who gives him a radical new drug called NZT.

[8:58] Radical.

[8:59] And when he takes it, suddenly everything goes fisheye lens and there's brighter colors and he can think faster and he talks faster and he knows everything.

[9:08] He remembers everything.

[9:09] It's weird.

[9:10] At one point he says – he's literally – there's a lot of narration and he's literally narrating what's happening.

[9:15] He goes, I reach back to a memory I never even recorded.

[9:18] It's just there.

[9:19] You cannot like – even there, it's just poorly worded.

[9:23] You can't have a memory without recording it.

[9:25] I know of all the things about the way a brain works, like that's the thing that bothered me the least.

[9:29] I can accept the idea like, OK, there's this memory in his brain and it's totally latent.

[9:35] And now that he's reached, you know, like total brain capacity, he's going to do it.

[9:39] I have much more.

[9:41] It's just the poor wording of that phrase.

[9:42] I guess I have much more trouble believing later on.

[9:45] Later on when he like is fighting someone.

[9:48] He's like, I'm reaching back into like memories of like kung fu movies I've seen.

[9:52] He's like, just because you've seen these movies doesn't mean you have the muscle memory to fight people.

[9:56] Or the strength.

[9:57] Or the flexibility.

[9:58] I forgot the opening scene.

[10:00] Opening scene.

[10:01] He's standing on the ledge of a luxury apartment building.

[10:04] He's in a nice suit.

[10:05] The movie begins with everything fucked up.

[10:08] Everything screwed up.

[10:08] People are trying to break in to attack him.

[10:11] You don't know why.

[10:11] He's considering jumping and killing himself.

[10:14] Then, zoom down to the ground into a taxi.

[10:17] Zoom through the taxi to other taxis.

[10:19] Zoom through the city into his own brain.

[10:22] Then zoom farther into the brain, keep zooming, blood vessels, synapses, keep zooming farther and you see Manhattan Island.

[10:29] And you zoom into Manhattan Island and you eventually find Bradley Cooper again when he's in the past when he's all, you know, not impressive.

[10:37] So if you zoom far enough, you go back in time?

[10:38] Apparently.

[10:39] This movie is in love with super long zooms.

[10:41] Okay.

[10:42] This movie's got a lot of style.

[10:45] And by style, I mean a lot of direction.

[10:47] It has the most direction of a movie.

[10:49] Yep.

[10:50] Top.

[10:51] I mean it's one of those movies that begin with everything is fucked up.

[10:56] How did it get this way?

[10:57] You're going to find out in a couple of minutes.

[10:59] That's true.

[11:00] So anyway, we go back.

[11:01] He meets his ex-brother-in-law.

[11:03] His ex-brother-in-law gives him a drug.

[11:04] He takes it.

[11:05] Suddenly he's using 100 percent of his brain.

[11:07] He charms his landlord's wife into having sex with him.

[11:11] Yeah, because women, above everything else, they're like a really smart guy.

[11:16] Yeah.

[11:17] Specifically a guy that doesn't stop talking.

[11:19] Yeah, we have that experience.

[11:20] Smart guys who don't stop talking.

[11:22] Women just fall into bed with them.

[11:23] Knee deep.

[11:24] Knee deep in bed?

[11:27] Like the bed made out of quicksand?

[11:29] Yep.

[11:29] I've got a very swampy bed, Elliot.

[11:31] Why would you sleep in that?

[11:33] I guess if you don't struggle, you won't sink all the way.

[11:35] It's very comfortable.

[11:37] It's memory.

[11:38] It's a memory swamp.

[11:39] Memory sand.

[11:40] I assume there's a vine hanging over your bed so you can get out in the morning.

[11:43] Sure.

[11:43] So he's super smart.

[11:45] He writes his novel in like four days.

[11:48] The publisher loves it.

[11:49] Of course.

[11:50] You never hear about the novel ever again.

[11:51] I assume that – I don't know.

[11:53] The publishing house burns down with the only copy.

[11:55] Well, once you get clear, Elliot, once you're using 100 percent of your brain, all of your artistic ambitions go out the window.

[12:00] I see.

[12:01] You realize that that's a sucker's game.

[12:04] All you want to do is make money on Wall Street, which is what he does for the rest of the movie.

[12:08] Which is what he decides to do, and he learns languages instantly, and he starts stockbrokering.

[12:14] He has his own system.

[12:16] He brokers stocks?

[12:17] He starts breaking stocks.

[12:20] Just breaking them up, breaking them down, breaking them all around.

[12:23] All over the land.

[12:25] Somehow he gets involved with Robert De Niro.

[12:27] Well, I'm getting – but he borrows some money from a Russian gangster to get into the stock market.

[12:32] Oh, yeah, OK.

[12:33] Then he does so well in the stock market that there's a story about him in the New York Post.

[12:37] And then he's not famous again ever.

[12:39] That's kind of picked up and dropped.

[12:41] But he's able to arrange a meeting with Robert De Niro, who is apparently the richest man in the world, whose last name is Van Loon.

[12:48] And there's a great moment where he's –

[12:50] Maybe that's a Scrooge McDuck reference, you think?

[12:51] It probably is.

[12:53] Isn't that Von Drake?

[12:54] No.

[12:55] I'm just saying, you know, like a –

[12:57] I mean it sounds like a Duckburg name.

[12:59] It does sound like a Duckburg name, yeah.

[13:00] One of the founding families of Duckburg, the Van Loons.

[13:04] There's a part where he's trying – his girlfriend gets back together with him because he's cleaned himself up and he has money now.

[13:09] And he says, I'm meeting with John Van Loon.

[13:12] And she goes, what can you do for John Van Loon?

[13:15] And it sounds like the Dr. Seuss book Dr. Seuss never got around to writing.

[13:19] What can you do for John Van Loon?

[13:21] Oh, the places you'll go for John Van Loon.

[13:26] He meets Robert De Niro and impresses him with his ability to talk business-y stuff.

[13:30] But then –

[13:32] Does he sleep with him?

[13:34] Strangely enough, he doesn't fall into bed with Robert De Niro.

[13:37] You were kind of expecting that scene.

[13:39] I was, yeah.

[13:39] This is after – there's like a montage of him making money and then becoming a jet setter and flying all over the world and hanging out with beautiful people and it could take place over a month or it could take place over one afternoon.

[13:53] They're just not – like part of the movie becomes he's unable to tell time and the movie communicates that by being very bad at telling how much time is left.

[14:00] I don't know whether like – I mean like later on in the movie, yes, it's about how he can't tell time and how he loses time.

[14:08] But early in the movie, I kind of don't know whether that's the movie doing that on purpose or whether it's just the screenwriting where it's just like I don't know whether this – like a year has passed.

[14:18] I have no idea.

[14:18] He also seems to get really rich and then he's not as rich again.

[14:22] Like he's flying all over the world buying sports cars but then he still lives in the same apartment in Chinatown and he – like why doesn't he start his own business?

[14:30] Why does he join up with Van Loon?

[14:32] But anyway, he impresses Van Loon.

[14:34] Van Loon says, meet me again tomorrow.

[14:35] But uh-oh, he runs out of pills.

[14:38] Yep. You would think that being limitless would mean that he would remember not to stock up on his magic smart pills.

[14:47] Or at least to count the pills. At the minimum.

[14:50] As I said, the first thing, as soon as he took it, the first one, is he would think he would use it to invent more pills.

[14:57] Like, that's the first thing on your mind.

[14:59] But the first thing he does...

[15:00] It's like when you get a fucking genie, the first thing you ask for is a million more wishes or whatever.

[15:03] I mean, it's just a fool's game if you don't.

[15:05] Yeah, I mean, what are you, a sucker?

[15:07] Come on, don't be a sucker.

[15:08] make the genie a sucker yeah i mean you make that genie work for you you're not working for him no

[15:13] of course not so all of you listeners so when you have a monkey's paw you wish for a monkey's paw

[15:19] that has a million monkey fingers i would say i i wish for a monkey's paw where my wishes don't end

[15:25] up hurting me ironically yeah okay i mean that would be my second wish when you get that monkey's

[15:29] paw then your second wish is i wish this monkey's paw had a billion fingers so i'd have a billion

[15:34] wishes right okay yeah i think you're probably right because otherwise it might grow too

[15:38] then you use the then you use the monkey's paw as a back scratcher just to show it who's boss

[15:43] guys you should probably be taking notes right now okay anyone listening this is no longer movie

[15:49] podcast this is a how to get rich through wishes podcast this is the top selling wishes financial

[15:54] podcast don't make the same mistakes we did we made a lot of mistakes ironic wishes you bet we

[16:00] got a few of them that's why we're stuck doing this podcast don't ever say what are you talking

[16:05] about if you if someone wishes uses up one of your wishes wishing for a sandwich don't ever say

[16:10] i wish that sandwich was on your nose because it will end up attached to their nose you wasted a

[16:15] wish yeah but that's the kind of thing that happens in fairy tales all the time it's careful

[16:21] use of language you will get the experience you need to eliminate wish from your vocabulary i

[16:25] gotta tell you here's a tip from a pro yeah don't say wish until you unless you mean it and if

[16:28] you're making a wish write it down first yeah work out the angles don't freeform it don't improv

[16:34] this wish so wait maybe laws accept written wishes no no you write it down and then you read it aloud

[16:40] when you've worked out the wording but what i'm saying is like they can tell the difference between

[16:44] like a spoken aloud and written down no i mean they don't care it's just you're making sure

[16:49] there's nothing in the wish that you don't want to have happen you're just plotting out the wish

[16:53] has anyone ever tried to write a wish down in front of a monkey i don't think it doesn't matter

[16:57] You can't write a letter to a monkey's paw.

[16:58] I could.

[16:59] All right, do it right now.

[17:01] I dare you.

[17:02] I dare you.

[17:03] Give me somebody's Blackberry.

[17:05] Wait, why a Blackberry?

[17:07] Yeah, you know the monkey's paw Blackberry number?

[17:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[17:11] I'm going to give him a BBM.

[17:12] Whoa, on the air?

[17:14] This is a family podcast.

[17:15] Anyway, back to the synopsis.

[17:20] So Limitless.

[17:21] I forgot to mention that his brother-in-law ends up murdered.

[17:25] He goes to his ex-brother-in-law's apartment, picks up his brother-in-law's dry cleaning,

[17:29] and when he comes back, he's dead.

[17:31] Bum, bum, bum.

[17:31] Someone killed him, probably for the drugs.

[17:33] But they didn't find the drugs.

[17:35] He found the drugs.

[17:36] He takes them and becomes a magician super genius.

[17:38] Yes.

[17:40] Yep, I wish he became a magician.

[17:41] I'll use this intelligence to create tricks no one will be able to see through, not even Penn and Teller.

[17:47] Illusions.

[17:47] He calls them tricks.

[17:49] Okay.

[17:50] He has no illusions.

[17:51] Sure.

[17:51] No, no, that's hilarious.

[17:53] About it.

[17:54] Anyway, so he's limitless.

[17:56] He starts working with Robert De Niro.

[17:57] He runs out of pills, but then he gets more pills.

[18:00] I got confused around this point.

[18:01] He's getting chased by a guy.

[18:03] He doesn't know why.

[18:04] His girlfriend – he runs out of pills and he starts going into withdrawal, and he makes his girlfriend go and get his stash, which he hid in a shell in her apartment rather than carry like three on him at all times.

[18:17] As you said, for a guy who's using 100% of his brain, he seems to forget a lot how many pills he has on him at any moment.

[18:24] Or the fact that the pills are the source of his power.

[18:27] I don't use all of my brain all the time, but I always know how much money I have on me because I'm neurotic.

[18:33] Maybe he knows exactly how many pills he's got, but he thinks his life would be more exciting if he forgot sometimes.

[18:41] That's possible, yeah.

[18:42] He's just looking for the thrill at this point.

[18:44] Yeah, that's the thing.

[18:44] It's like a ground rush.

[18:46] He sends his girlfriend to go get them.

[18:47] His girlfriend is chased by this guy who's chasing him.

[18:50] Sure.

[18:50] And he's chasing her with a knife, and she calls him, and Bradley Cooper says, use one of the pills.

[18:55] You'll think your way out of it.

[18:56] Now, they're at Wollman Rink in Central Park.

[18:59] It's an ice skating rink.

[19:00] Here's how she takes the pill.

[19:03] Suddenly, everything gets all hazy.

[19:05] Everything's fish-eyed.

[19:06] That means you're super smart.

[19:07] Then she zooms in on a bunch of different potential weapons.

[19:10] She zooms in on details like any number of detective shows you've seen.

[19:14] like oh i'm a super detective i'm gonna see like only the important thing there's some edge clippers

[19:19] it's just like there's a baseball it's just like in shoot him up whenever he takes a bite of a

[19:22] carrot and suddenly his vision gets much better yeah like that yet he sees she sees a hedge clipper

[19:27] a baseball bat and uh when running across the ice rink almost about to get stabbed she uses a little

[19:34] girl initially we assume as a human shield but nope she swings the girl around who is wearing

[19:40] ice skates and slashes the guy's face

[19:42] all up. With the little girl's

[19:44] ice skates. Yeah, of the options.

[19:46] Traumatizing a little girl.

[19:47] I would have gone with either the head clippers

[19:50] or the baseball bat. I would have gone with the baseball

[19:52] bat. Yeah. Rather than the

[19:53] pick up a little girl and use her as a weapon.

[19:56] Yeah, swing her around. I mean, if you

[19:58] want to. In the hopes that it's going to slash this guy

[20:00] in the cheek. In the cheek, mind

[20:02] you. And then he just falls down

[20:04] and he's so shocked by what happened.

[20:05] He's so appalled. Oh, wow.

[20:07] She used a little girl as a weapon. Who does that?

[20:10] Who does that kind of thing?

[20:11] Well, now he realizes that the people he's dealing with are true monsters.

[20:15] Yes.

[20:16] Like the depths that she's willing to get.

[20:18] Their depravity is limitless.

[20:20] Yeah.

[20:20] Oh, limitless.

[20:22] Anyhoo.

[20:23] So it turns out everyone taking this drug, you get sick, and if you take it too long, you die.

[20:30] And if you go into withdrawal.

[20:31] Yeah, your hair falls out.

[20:32] You look like a skeleton face.

[20:33] Yeah.

[20:33] And if you go cold turkey, you also die.

[20:37] And everyone gets a limp for some reason.

[20:39] Yeah, it messes with your feet.

[20:40] The Russian mobster is –

[20:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah, the rich man.

[20:45] The Russian mobster comes back to get his money.

[20:47] Instead, Bradley Cooper gives him pills, so the Russian mobster gets smart.

[20:52] Not a good idea.

[20:53] Bradley Cooper gets a job with Robert De Niro.

[20:56] He impresses him after he gets the pills again.

[20:57] And they're organizing a merger with a company run by a guy that Bradley Cooper realizes is also taking NZT, the miracle genius drug.

[21:06] Because, as it turns out, everyone was taking it, it seems, except for Bradley Cooper.

[21:11] And apparently Robert De Niro.

[21:13] And Robert De Niro, because he's naturally super smart.

[21:15] The guy who was doing, who was heading the other company, he dies.

[21:22] Because he doesn't have enough of the stuff.

[21:23] Because he runs out of the drugs.

[21:24] It turns out the guy who was chasing them was working for that guy.

[21:28] The Russian mobster still wants more drugs.

[21:30] And there's a climax where the Russian mobster is trying to break in.

[21:34] Where we flash back to the beginning, right?

[21:36] We go back to where we were.

[21:37] The Russian mobster is breaking into the apartment.

[21:40] Bradley Cooper realizes, wait a minute.

[21:42] I probably have a deus ex machina pill hidden somewhere.

[21:48] Well, except for it isn't a deus ex machina because he drops it.

[21:51] Well, no, but it's one of those moments where it's like, oh, that box I checked earlier that had no pills in it, it probably still has one pill in it.

[21:58] For a second you thought I was totally fucked, but instead I got a get out of jail free card right here that you didn't know about, watcher.

[22:04] But then he drops it.

[22:04] And what does he do?

[22:05] He's got to outsmart everybody with his normal brain.

[22:09] And he does it by stabbing a guy and then drinking his blood.

[22:11] Because no matter how smart you are, a knife is still going to totally kill you.

[22:18] You're never smarter than a knife.

[22:19] Yeah, a Russian guy is like, you are so stupid.

[22:23] Like, that's not a Russian accent.

[22:24] No, it's not.

[22:25] You're so stupid.

[22:26] I have discovered that if you inject it directly into your bloodstream, it's much more powerful.

[22:33] And then, like, when Bradley Cooper stabs him, he's like, oh, what I got to do is I got to drink this guy's blood.

[22:38] So he just starts lapping up the blood like?

[22:41] What, like a monster?

[22:44] Like Kronos.

[22:45] Oh, like in Kronos.

[22:46] Like you said when we were watching the movie, like in Kronos.

[22:48] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[22:49] Except in Kronos, he didn't immediately get blue eyes and become super smart.

[22:52] Yeah, the blue eyes are because he's a spice user.

[22:54] Somehow.

[22:55] He's gone to Arrakis.

[22:56] He's just terribly, like, diluted in his bloodstream.

[23:00] How many points of blood are in this man?

[23:03] Yeah, this could be a really powerful drug, and he could have very thin blood.

[23:06] Okay, but he like laps up like two tablespoons of this guy's blood, and all of a sudden he's like,

[23:11] I'm back to full power.

[23:13] This is the problem you're having with the medicine of the movie.

[23:16] This is a whole movie based on nonsense.

[23:19] Look, I've accepted the basic nonsense.

[23:21] So why can't you accept that if you drink a smart guy's blood, you turn smart?

[23:24] Because I will accept a base level of nonsense.

[23:30] But within the context of the nonsense of the movie, that was more nonsense.

[23:33] That reminds me of a coworker of ours, Rich, told me about a screenwriting book he read where it talked about how you can only have two crazy – you can only have one crazy thing in a movie.

[23:41] You can't have more than one because that ruins it.

[23:43] And he says the example in the book was you can't have aliens land and then have one of the aliens be bitten by a vampire.

[23:49] That's too much.

[23:50] And we both – Rich and I both had the same reaction, which was that sounds like the best movie ever.

[23:54] Why are you putting that in a screenwriting book?

[23:57] You should write that script and sell it.

[23:59] Vampire aliens?

[24:00] That sounds great.

[24:01] Yeah.

[24:01] How would that vampire react with that sudden injection of alien blood?

[24:05] That's the thing.

[24:05] The alien turns into the vampire.

[24:07] What happens to the vampire?

[24:08] Does he turn into an alien?

[24:10] He probably becomes dependent on that sweet, sweet alien blood.

[24:13] Yeah.

[24:13] It's like green broth.

[24:14] Yeah.

[24:15] I do like that.

[24:16] I do like that movie.

[24:16] You like that movie we just invented?

[24:19] That not real movie?

[24:20] He just zoomed in past us.

[24:23] More or less than limited, the movie about the Pop Rocks Coke explosions.

[24:27] No, I like that one.

[24:28] It's pretty good.

[24:29] But that's – I'm going to go with that one.

[24:30] Okay.

[24:31] More than Vampire Aliens?

[24:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I named it.

[24:35] I think a better version of that is –

[24:37] Count Spaceula.

[24:38] That's what we'll call it.

[24:39] Count Spaceula.

[24:40] Steve Martin has talked about writing Roxanne and how like his theory on that is like you have to have the craziest thing early in the movie and then the audience will go with it.

[24:51] And that's kind of why in Roxanne –

[24:53] What's the craziest thing in Roxanne?

[24:54] Does he have a big nose?

[24:55] No, no.

[24:55] That's why in Roxanne like it starts off with him having that sword fight.

[24:58] Have you seen The Nose?

[24:59] He's like using a tennis racket to have a sword fight.

[25:03] And he's like, all right, this is like the baseline of silliness.

[25:07] This is as crazy as it's going to get.

[25:08] And if you accept this, you're going to go along with the rest of the movie.

[25:11] And I think that's kind of the way that – I'm going to take a movie that has –

[25:16] I don't know because I like a movie that has a crazy surprise near the end.

[25:20] If it doesn't break the tone, like Kick-Ass, which I didn't like anyway.

[25:23] But when he comes in at the end with a jet pack with Gatling guns mounted on it, that is too crazy.

[25:30] But I like a movie that at the last minute pulls out something where you're like, what?

[25:33] What?

[25:34] Aliens are allergic to water?

[25:36] Well, that's revealed to the main character by the director halfway through Signs.

[25:41] Halfway through Signs, the director of the movie tells the main character how to stop the aliens.

[25:46] What a dumb movie.

[25:47] Anyway, Limitless.

[25:49] It's a meta-commentary on storytelling aliens.

[25:52] No, it's not.

[25:53] It's poorly made.

[25:54] So he laps up his villain's blood, thus gaining his strength.

[25:58] It's iconic.

[25:59] I mean, that's folklore.

[26:00] He also takes a photo of him.

[26:01] I mean, that's Joseph Campbell right there.

[26:03] I mean, that's at its most base level, he's ingesting this guy.

[26:07] Like, he's becoming him.

[26:09] He's like a Wendigo.

[26:10] Yeah, it's very similar to a Wendigo.

[26:12] Exactly, like a Wendigo.

[26:13] Where did Wendigo go?

[26:14] Hi-oh!

[26:16] That's if the Marsh Brothers ever had a joke about Wendigos.

[26:21] Anyway, for the one Marx Brothers movie that Algernon Blackwood wrote.

[26:25] Anyway, so Bradley Cooper laps up his enemy's blood.

[26:30] He beats up the other Russian thugs.

[26:33] And then 12 months later, which is literally what the movie says.

[26:38] The best and most unexpected title card since Bratz.

[26:41] Since Bratz when 20 minutes into the movie it said two years later.

[26:45] Here it's almost the end of the movie.

[26:46] It says 12 months later.

[26:48] Not a year later.

[26:48] 12 months.

[26:51] What's 12 months in the life of somebody who's limitless?

[26:53] It's one year.

[26:54] Oh, yeah.

[26:56] Well, it's enough for Bradley Cooper to come out of nowhere to be the ahead-of-the-pack candidate for senator from New York.

[27:02] All the signs in his campaign –

[27:05] He was the Anthony Weiner of this movie.

[27:07] Anthony Weiner worked for years building his career up.

[27:10] Nope.

[27:11] He lost it quickly.

[27:12] He didn't gain it quickly.

[27:13] He is the Anthony Weiner of the movie though.

[27:14] Anyway, so – no way.

[27:16] So all the signs in his campaign office say – his name is Mora, his last name.

[27:20] It says Mara for New York.

[27:23] But none of the signs say, like, for Senate.

[27:25] So you think he's running for the office of city, like he's going to be the city of New York.

[27:30] Oh, okay.

[27:30] Anyway, so.

[27:31] Anyway, so.

[27:34] I didn't get that part.

[27:35] That just bugged me.

[27:36] He's running for Senate, and who walks into his office?

[27:39] Robert De Niro.

[27:42] His former boss.

[27:43] And he seems to know all about his magical NZT drug.

[27:47] It turns out Robert De Niro knows about NZT, and he's just bought the company that makes it.

[27:52] And he wants Bradley Cooper to be his puppet when he eventually becomes president.

[27:56] What?

[27:56] But Bradley Cooper's got a little ace up his sleeve.

[28:00] And what is that ace?

[28:02] That he reinvented NZT, made it better.

[28:06] Off camera.

[28:07] Stopped using it, and has now super powerful perception.

[28:12] Yeah, he's a super genius.

[28:12] So that he can predict that a car is about to bump into another car.

[28:17] And he touches Robert De Niro's chest and says, oh, your arteries are falling apart.

[28:23] You're going to have to replace those.

[28:24] Oh, well, I'm a Superman now.

[28:26] And that Robert De Niro can't outsmart him because he is limitless.

[28:31] And rather than have like –

[28:33] He doesn't own the company that makes that drug.

[28:34] Couldn't he just take that drug?

[28:35] Who, Robert De Niro?

[28:37] Yeah, but he doesn't know the super version that Bradley Cooper used for a little while.

[28:41] But once you take that drug –

[28:43] Man or Superman.

[28:44] That's the question really.

[28:46] Yeah, but once you take that drug, you're dependent on it.

[28:49] Unlike most drugs where you take it for a little while and then you can just –

[28:52] And you're fine.

[28:53] Just cool with it, right?

[28:54] And then the last scene is literally Bradley Cooper goes to lunch with his girlfriend and they're at a Chinese restaurant and the waiter comes over and Bradley Cooper speaks to him in Chinese, which is kind of racist to assume the waiter doesn't speak English.

[29:06] The New York waiter.

[29:08] New York waiter.

[29:09] And then he makes the Chinese guy laugh with his Chinese joke.

[29:13] Sure.

[29:13] And when he walks away, Bradley Cooper looks at his girlfriend and goes, what?

[29:16] Credits roll.

[29:17] That is the last line of the movie.

[29:21] What?

[29:21] It's like the end of They Live where the guy's like, hey, baby, what's wrong?

[29:26] What's wrong?

[29:26] That's right.

[29:27] As she stops having sex.

[29:29] My main problems with this movie.

[29:31] Because you're an alien face.

[29:32] Look, I mean, like, it's stupid.

[29:34] It's stupid, the idea, like, okay, this 20% of the brain, like, yes.

[29:37] Your problem is not enough star power.

[29:39] Where's the late meester of this movie?

[29:42] It has Abby Cornish.

[29:44] Well, it has Abby Cornish.

[29:44] Where's Kim Gajanger?

[29:46] A woman I'm familiar with because she has a unique name, but I could not.

[29:50] Abby Cornish of the Cornish game hen fortune.

[29:52] Heiress to the Cornish game hen industry.

[29:55] I figured out how to shrink chickens.

[29:58] And now I'm a million heiress.

[30:01] She's not like corn.

[30:02] She's corn-ish.

[30:03] All right.

[30:05] Anywho.

[30:06] Let's not belabor that.

[30:08] No, but I mean I'm fine with the premise of the movie because even though it's based on a stupid urban legend, like whatever.

[30:15] I'll accept that for the purpose of this movie.

[30:17] Yeah.

[30:17] What I'm angry about, if anything, in this movie is the missteps our hero makes.

[30:24] Are you going to be okay?

[30:25] I mean you sound kind of mad.

[30:26] No, the missteps.

[30:27] Take it down.

[30:28] Are you on NZT?

[30:28] The missteps our hero makes, like being the smartest person in the movie.

[30:33] Well, that's the thing.

[30:34] He does a lot of dumb stuff.

[30:36] This is basically a movie about drugs where he does everything a drug user does, including make – exactly, the stupid mistakes that people make in drug movies.

[30:44] But you'd think he's super smart.

[30:46] At one point he says he has a four-digit IQ, which makes no sense.

[30:50] And at that point he can read people's minds I would imagine.

[30:54] He's got some kind of gift for hyperbole at that point.

[30:57] Yeah, his hyperbole is limitless.

[30:59] But yeah, but he makes these dumb mistakes like giving smart pills to a Russian mobster, like not knowing how many pills he has on him at any given point.

[31:09] It takes him forever to decide to hire someone to make new pills for him.

[31:13] Like I think he's down to like eight pills.

[31:16] It's – you know.

[31:17] Yeah, like Stuart said, the first thing you do is you synthesize pills.

[31:21] You're not – like his rationale for giving it to the Russian mobster is like, this will get him off my back for a while.

[31:27] I was like, yes, make your enemies superpowers.

[31:30] Like, I'm not even on that shit, and I know I have a million more ideas to stop this Russian gangster.

[31:35] Yeah.

[31:35] Call the police, for instance.

[31:38] Frame him for some kind of crime.

[31:39] Well, that's the thing.

[31:40] He's like, there are ways of getting rid of him.

[31:42] I'll give him pills.

[31:43] No, like, hire someone to kill him or whatnot.

[31:46] Yeah, it's not like our hero has a lot of moral compunction.

[31:48] I mean, he kills several people in the course of this film.

[31:51] And he also sets up a macabre practical joke in his safe

[31:54] when he has two security guys

[31:57] who get killed by the Russian mobster

[31:58] and their hands are mailed to him

[31:59] and he sets it up in his safe in his apartment

[32:01] so that the disembodied hands are there

[32:03] and one of them is giving the finger

[32:04] to the gangster who just opened the safe.

[32:06] So he was crouching there

[32:09] like forcing these fingers into place

[32:12] because rigor mortis had just tightened them.

[32:15] Maybe dipped them in tar or something

[32:16] for them to hold their position.

[32:18] To make a hand of liberty.

[32:19] Yeah, exactly.

[32:20] Hand of glory.

[32:21] Hand of glory.

[32:22] It's okay.

[32:22] You can fuck it up if you want.

[32:24] The other thing is that – so this – like the whole movie …

[32:28] Well, Hand of Liberty is different.

[32:28] It feels like the entire movie, the biggest problem he has is that he is trying to deal with his dependency on this drug.

[32:37] Yeah.

[32:38] And then the conclusion of the movie is it's like, yeah, you didn't see this, but he was able to give up the drug and now he's even smarter than before.

[32:45] I kicked it.

[32:45] So it's cool.

[32:46] It's like In a Beautiful Mind where he's crazy and the solution is for him to stop being crazy.

[32:50] I'll be honest.

[32:51] Just to decide to not be crazy anymore.

[32:52] Yeah.

[32:53] I'll be honest, one of the things I liked about this movie is that it didn't have, like, a weird, like, false moralizing ending.

[32:59] It did not glorify having this limitless power for most of the movie.

[33:03] Yes, it did.

[33:04] And then being like, fuck, no, no, I'm saying, like, it didn't do that.

[33:06] Oh, I see.

[33:07] And then it was like, fuck you, we're going to take it away, and the true moral is humanity.

[33:12] Like, at the end of the movie, it was like, no, he figured out a way to beat humanity, and now he's limitless.

[33:18] Now he's Dr. Manhattan.

[33:19] Yeah, he's awesome.

[33:20] I mean, like, the only thing that kind of goes against that is Robert De Niro actually has a pretty good speech in the movie where he's like, you're a brat who's just throwing away around his power.

[33:30] Like, you didn't work for this.

[33:32] Like, I worked my way up, and now I understand the way human beings work.

[33:36] And I guess, like...

[33:38] But you know what?

[33:38] In the end of the day, he loses.

[33:40] I guess at the end of the day, like, hard work doesn't matter.

[33:43] He's a dick.

[33:45] It is a self...

[33:46] Well, he's not young and attractive like a hard body...

[33:49] Like Bradford Cooper with.

[33:50] Sure

[33:51] Bradlam Coopsy

[33:53] It's true

[33:54] It's the self-made man

[33:55] People don't use it

[33:56] For hard body enough

[33:57] I think after the movie

[33:59] Hard bodies

[33:59] Hard bodies too

[34:01] Sure

[34:01] It kind of fell out of favor

[34:02] The same way people

[34:04] Stopped saying

[34:05] Hot dog the movie

[34:05] After hot dog the movie

[34:06] Came out

[34:07] Well there was that

[34:08] Confusion

[34:09] After hot dog the movie

[34:10] Came out

[34:10] About whether you

[34:11] Wanted a hot dog

[34:12] Or you wanted to

[34:12] Go see hot dog the movie

[34:13] Still when you go to

[34:14] Nathan's sometimes

[34:14] He'll give me a hot dog

[34:15] And they go

[34:15] The food or the movie

[34:17] Because we've got

[34:18] A bunch of DVDs back here

[34:19] Honestly we've been trying to get rid of them

[34:22] No one wants them

[34:23] The weird thing is they don't even have a copy of that movie in stock

[34:26] That's the strange thing

[34:29] It's just like when people got mixed up

[34:31] Which Juan Tonton it was

[34:33] Is that Juan Tonton the dog who saved Hollywood

[34:35] Or is that a different Juan Tonton

[34:37] Is that Benji the hunted

[34:39] Or a different Benji

[34:40] Is it

[34:43] Oh Heavenly Dog

[34:44] Or just regular Benji

[34:46] Is that Ballistic X vs Sever

[34:48] Or is this a different X?

[34:49] Movies.

[34:54] But yeah, it's a, in the end, he beats the world.

[35:00] It almost, it feels like.

[35:02] Carter beats the devil.

[35:03] The book.

[35:05] What?

[35:05] I haven't read it.

[35:06] It's pretty good.

[35:07] Boy Meets World.

[35:08] Sure.

[35:09] So what were you saying before Dan interrupted you by being a dick?

[35:13] I don't even remember.

[35:13] Before he brought in what, your book club recommendation?

[35:17] Yeah, I guess.

[35:18] i don't have a movie i don't have a movie recommendation this week so uh yeah we're

[35:22] not even at that part of the podcast yet oh my god i'm so turned around anyway you were saying

[35:27] the morality of this film is a little weird it just it looks like it's setting you up for one

[35:31] thing and then it goes for the other which is fine but the end but it does make it look like

[35:35] it's really easy to get off drugs and uh also it's just like this is a guy who's cheated his

[35:42] way through everything yeah which i guess i don't have a problem with him winning in a movie he does

[35:46] But there is a moment where he – so he – in one of his drug hazes because what happens is also he starts blacking out and missing time.

[35:53] He goes to a party and picks up a model.

[35:55] She takes him to her hotel room.

[35:57] The next day – and then he wakes – he finds himself suddenly on the Brooklyn Bridge.

[36:01] He doesn't know how he got there.

[36:02] There's a news report the next day that says model found murdered in her hotel.

[36:06] This is never tied up.

[36:08] Like he just gets away with murdering this woman.

[36:11] I think it was that guy he thought he saw following him in the hotel, you know, hallway.

[36:17] The guy who was chasing his girlfriend later?

[36:19] Yeah, the knife guy.

[36:20] But why would he kill that model?

[36:21] It doesn't make any sense.

[36:22] Knifey Kniferson.

[36:23] Knifey Kniferson.

[36:23] Yeah.

[36:24] She knew too much.

[36:25] Yeah.

[36:26] Maybe she made fun of his penis size or something.

[36:29] Wait, so he came in.

[36:31] Yes.

[36:31] Seduced her.

[36:33] Continue, yes.

[36:33] She made fun of his penis size.

[36:35] I mean, it happens sometimes.

[36:37] I think you're thinking of the first scene of Unforgiven.

[36:38] Sure.

[36:40] He stormed out, said, no, I can handle this better, stormed back in.

[36:44] They talked for a little while.

[36:45] They couldn't come to agreement, stormed out again, said, I'm just so mad, stormed in, stabbed her, said, oh my god, what have I done?

[36:53] Walked out, was going to call the police, said, I'm going to be in trouble now, walked back in.

[36:57] He framed Limitless.

[36:58] Framed Limitless.

[36:59] By like spreading some pills all over the place and a bunch of like, I don't know, books.

[37:05] Does he read books?

[37:06] He does sometimes.

[37:07] Well, that's the thing. He doesn't seem to have –

[37:09] Well, he has literally no limits.

[37:11] He has no life outside of the things he's doing.

[37:14] Like you never get a sense that Bradley Cooper's character exists as a character.

[37:18] OK. So he just sits in front of computer screens and reading like seven different monitors at one time.

[37:23] Yes. We know he owns a basketball. We find that out earlier in the movie.

[37:27] He cares enough to write a science fiction book that apparently is also a social commentary but then doesn't care about writing another book after that.

[37:37] Well, he writes it, it's amazing, and then again, we never hear it.

[37:41] There's a lot of dropped, it's almost like this person wrote this, the screenplay was

[37:46] written over the course of like five years, and it was like, oh, I got 20 pages written,

[37:51] I'll get back to this soon.

[37:52] Months pass, oh, I'll write another 10 pages.

[37:54] And so like, plot points get picked up and dropped as the movie goes along, with not

[38:00] really any logic to them.

[38:01] Like, it's been kind of boring, we need an action scene here.

[38:03] How about he remembers movies he's seen and use those maneuvers to defeat his enemies?

[38:07] There is a weird sort of lack of cohesion.

[38:10] Like, there is no story unity.

[38:11] You know, it's like, I guess, at the end, Robert De Niro is the villain of the piece.

[38:18] Eventually.

[38:19] In the sense that, like, he's, like, the last confrontation.

[38:21] But he doesn't really do anything serious to threaten Bradley Cooper in the movie.

[38:28] And the things that do threaten Bradley Cooper in the movie are things that he kind of brought on himself.

[38:33] He brought all of them on himself.

[38:35] Just by being stupid throughout the film.

[38:37] He's limitless.

[38:38] It's very strange.

[38:40] It's almost like his intelligence and his stupidity are both limitless.

[38:42] Yeah.

[38:43] He spends a lot of time shopping for things and using merchandise.

[38:47] There's a lot of movies now where part of the joy of the movie, I guess, is seeing people live this outlandishly big lifestyle.

[38:57] So like he's driving a sports car, and then he's going shopping for a jacket and things like that that don't really apply to the plot, but it's style stuff I guess.

[39:05] Yeah.

[39:06] Isn't this the life you would lead if you were limitless?

[39:09] You'd be shopping for jackets all the time.

[39:11] And doing crunches.

[39:13] He does do crunches too.

[39:15] Stuart, you do a lot of crunches.

[39:17] You look good in a jacket.

[39:18] Yeah.

[39:19] I must be limitless.

[39:20] Not.

[39:22] What?

[39:23] That's a joke, guys.

[39:24] Anywho, so should we final judgment?

[39:27] the final we should judgment it up uh i'm gonna start oh wow okay uh this is a good bad movie a

[39:35] bad bad movie a movie i kind of liked i gotta say i kind of like this movie i enjoyed it i thought

[39:40] it had uh it moved along at a good clip it had some nice style it was stupid but it didn't bore

[39:48] me and i kind of found its lack of morality refreshing i kind of enjoyed the fact at the

[39:53] end it was like fuck you i'm limitless uh you expected me to learn a lesson i learned no lesson

[39:59] i am awesome so uh i mean you know if you're back if you're at home if you're bored if this movie

[40:05] comes on i would say totally watch this shit you know what i hate to admit it but i agree with you

[40:09] because i hate agreeing with you but i also kind of liked it this was a solid two two and a half

[40:14] star movie good for a rainy afternoon maybe you're sick from work maybe um i don't know

[40:23] like a bootleg copy of it fell in your lap accidentally in the subway and nobody noticed

[40:28] then you know go home if you have a moment watch it while you're doing something else i don't know

[40:33] but it does have like they're neat they're a bunch of camera effects in it that are neat that

[40:37] are also stupid but neat yeah i mean it was for those reasons i was i was gonna classify it as a

[40:43] good bad movie like i can't i can't justify and say that i actually enjoyed it that much but

[40:48] it was fun to sit around and make jokes about and talk about limitless stuff and how stupid

[40:54] the science of the whole thing is i mean all the zooms once you get over the fact that it's based

[40:59] on nonsense like not real science it's i mean if that should be more of a sticking point than it

[41:05] is i guess but it goes to show if they have one big stupid thing you can buy it yeah if it's at

[41:10] the beginning yeah maybe you're right maybe steve martin is right maybe he has something likely

[41:14] yeah put put all your chips on one stupid thing and then the other stupid things maybe you should

[41:19] work on a little bit more limitless i guess if i can watch the exorcist and suspend my disbelief

[41:24] that the devil exists for two hours then i can suspend my disbelief about how the brain works

[41:28] okay so letters i've got some letters from listeners here

[41:33] Letters from listeners

[41:35] We've got some great ones

[41:37] We had dueling jingle titles

[41:39] You've got some great ones

[41:41] We should probably speed through this

[41:43] Speed through this

[41:44] A little bit

[41:46] This one is from Micah

[41:48] By way of the porthole of time

[41:50] Micah

[41:51] Porthole of time

[41:52] He says

[41:53] I am a new listener who heard about you from the AV Club

[41:55] In the short amount of time since then

[41:57] I've managed to listen to almost all of your back catalog

[41:59] Completist

[42:01] Binge if you will

[42:02] And couldn't stop laughing at the inside jokes bit

[42:05] In the I'm number 4 podcast

[42:07] And then

[42:08] Bad mouths how does this get made

[42:11] Well I've cut it out

[42:12] I don't need to belabor that

[42:14] We appreciate that people like us more than how did this get made

[42:17] And please do send us letters

[42:19] About how much you like us more than how did this get made

[42:21] But you understand we don't want to gloat over it

[42:24] The fact that we're now blowing up superstars

[42:26] What's uh

[42:27] How did this get made

[42:28] But he says

[42:30] Listening to you guys is a complete 180.

[42:31] Your self-awareness and honesty comes through and makes it a joy to listen to.

[42:35] From Elliot's wonderfully deep esoteric knowledge, Stuart's ability to derail any train of thought, and Dan's unflappable Leonardo skills with a side of sigh,

[42:47] you talk to your audience as equals, inviting us to enjoy camaraderie and friendship evident between you.

[42:53] It was difficult to listen to How Did This Get Made after listening to The Flop House.

[42:57] I thought you weren't going to read any How Did This Get Made.

[42:59] Well, look, I'm just saying.

[43:01] It was thanks to this podcast.

[43:02] It was a partial slam, partial congratulations.

[43:06] Partial slam.

[43:07] He's advocating for a podcast war again.

[43:11] That seems crazy.

[43:13] Look, a podcast war.

[43:15] What even happens in that?

[43:16] There's no winners in that, only losers.

[43:18] Except us if we win.

[43:19] No, no, no, guys.

[43:20] Come on, Dan, be limitless.

[43:21] What would limitless do?

[43:22] Look, it's a funny sort of game.

[43:24] The only way to win is not to play, all right?

[43:27] If Limitless was doing this, he would totally do it.

[43:29] If he was involved, he would come up with a secret thing that nobody else knew about it, do that, and then win.

[43:34] Let's do it like Limitless.

[43:35] Okay, let's do it Limitless style.

[43:37] Ultimate Limitless style.

[43:39] So get some drugs.

[43:40] No, I just want to read that.

[43:42] I like that.

[43:42] That's a warm-up.

[43:43] That was a very nice compliment.

[43:45] Thanks very much, Micah.

[43:46] We're glad you like the show so much.

[43:48] Now on to the slams.

[43:52] Move on.

[43:54] Ryan, last name withheld, says, I don't think any of us can predict how we will die.

[43:58] Well, Linolas probably could.

[43:59] Yeah.

[44:00] He'll never die.

[44:01] No, doy.

[44:02] I'm thinking for me it may involve an aggressive badger.

[44:08] I say this because, frankly, I thought –

[44:10] Because my job is removing badgers from things.

[44:12] Frankly, my local badger.

[44:15] I owe some money to a Russian badger.

[44:18] Frankly, I thought the badger –

[44:20] And I'm not going to pay it back.

[44:22] It would come from me long before I found a podcast like the Flophouse.

[44:25] Yes.

[44:26] The three of you radiate blinding brilliance like a diamond light bulb over some sink in heaven.

[44:32] Wow.

[44:33] That was the most beautiful metaphor I've ever heard.

[44:37] Before this becomes one of those gushing emails you guys must get so many of.

[44:41] Nope.

[44:42] Not that many.

[44:43] I have a serious question for each of you.

[44:45] Unliked.

[44:46] So I'm going to read all of the questions, then we can go back.

[44:50] It says, Dan, what advice would you give to someone who wants to do the things you do besides try something else and sigh?

[44:56] Why would anyone want to do the things you do?

[44:57] Stuart, a podcast deep in the archives seems to suggest you may be a fan of the incredible fantasy tabletop game Blood Bowl.

[45:06] If so, please share some information about your team and how awesome they are.

[45:11] Do you think they could beat my team, the Dwarven Senate Subcommittee?

[45:14] Probably.

[45:15] And Elliot, please speak for as long as Dan will allow about your favorite Ninja Turtle,

[45:21] as well as the history of who among the brothers has held this position over the course of

[45:26] your life.

[45:26] Wait, they're brothers?

[45:27] Hold on.

[45:28] Yeah, they're brothers.

[45:29] Back up.

[45:29] So first of all, how to do what I do, I'm not sure why you would want to.

[45:35] I've only been arguably successful for the past two months.

[45:40] You've been very successful.

[45:41] Look at you.

[45:41] Nice looking boy.

[45:42] Married.

[45:44] Living in Brooklyn.

[45:44] Yeah, dude.

[45:45] You're totally married to the woman of your dreams.

[45:47] Yeah, come on.

[45:47] No, okay.

[45:48] Your success has been limitless.

[45:50] It's a callback.

[45:51] It's not a callback.

[45:53] Yeah, it is.

[45:53] That's what we're talking about, right?

[45:54] If you're asking about podcasts, I would say go back in time four or five years to when

[46:01] podcasts were relatively new and start up a podcast about bad movies.

[46:07] What a great instruction.

[46:09] How to start a podcast.

[46:10] One, start a podcast.

[46:13] Yeah, no, I don't, you know, you clearly thought this one through before.

[46:16] Yeah, Dan, you are the only one of us who's read these before and you have the worst answer.

[46:20] You can hit your star to a friend of yours with a deep resonant voice and another friend of yours who carries all the star power of being a writer on a television show.

[46:34] Which is very little star power.

[46:35] Double burn.

[46:36] For our successes.

[46:38] Yeah, I guess that's how to become like me, Elliot.

[46:41] Here's how you become like Dan.

[46:43] Two steps.

[46:44] You keep your feet on the ground, step one.

[46:47] Step two, you keep reaching for the stars.

[46:49] Yeah, dude.

[46:50] Head in the clouds.

[46:51] Wait.

[46:51] And you know what you say?

[46:53] Say, I am limitless.

[46:55] When do you say that?

[46:57] All the time.

[46:58] Well, it's like an affirmation.

[46:59] Yeah.

[47:00] Okay.

[47:01] It's a deformation.

[47:02] It's like your blood bowl.

[47:03] No, I'll be happy to answer all that information in a private message.

[47:09] Whoa.

[47:10] Yeah, it's just for me.

[47:12] Setting up a rendezvous.

[47:12] What's this guy's name?

[47:13] Ryan, last name withheld.

[47:15] Me and Ryan, last name withheld.

[47:17] We'll have a private message.

[47:18] Ladies, wouldn't you like to have a private message about Blood Bowl?

[47:22] I think they would.

[47:24] With Stuart.

[47:25] Just send me another letter.

[47:27] Okay, Elliot, your one.

[47:29] So my favorite Ninja Turtles, this is easy.

[47:31] All right.

[47:32] When I was a kid, obviously Donatello because he was the smartest.

[47:34] He invented things.

[47:36] Didn't care for the color purple.

[47:37] Not my favorite color.

[47:39] It's so regal, though.

[47:40] It's regal, but I didn't know that as a kid.

[47:42] I just thought of it as kind of like a girly color, and the only color I liked less of the Ninja Turtles was orange.

[47:47] I wish Donatello was blue because blue is the best color, but Leonardo has blue, and Leonardo is boring.

[47:53] That's why Dan is the Leonardo of the group.

[47:54] But Donatello is my favorite because he was the smartest.

[47:57] Then as I got older, Raphael became my favorite.

[48:01] Why? Because he doesn't take nothing from my buddies.

[48:03] Don't speak for as long as Dan will allow you, and that's the longest I will allow.

[48:07] He carries size, and size are totally cool as an Oboe staff.

[48:11] Thank you, Ryan.

[48:12] Last name withheld.

[48:15] This email is called a ringing endorsement for Flophouse Live Events.

[48:21] And this is an epic one.

[48:24] This is directed to Elliot.

[48:25] And it says, please tell us more about the Ninja Turtles.

[48:29] This is from James, last name withheld.

[48:31] He says, I'm a relatively new convert to the program, but it has quickly become my go-to antidote for my 9-to-5 office job blues.

[48:41] Yes.

[48:41] I believe I've burned through the entirety of the back catalog and have become well acquainted with such gems as Rocket Crocodile and The World of Tomorrow.

[48:49] Oh, I forgot about that guaranteed Shorewire winner pitch.

[48:51] Million Dollar Getaway, Dan's Militia of Hook-Handed Separatists, and of course, the Flophouse Housecat.

[48:58] Living in Brooklyn myself, I got my sorry old bones over to 92Y Tribeca for the live Flophouse showing of Twin Sitters.

[49:05] A little late, Housecat. Housecat, you missed your cue.

[49:10] Now, I should mention that I've met all of you fine gentlemen in person at one point or another since becoming a fan of the show.

[49:21] When I spotted Mr. Wellington waiting in line for beer at the concession stand, I promptly reintroduced myself as James, explaining that we had met briefly once before and that I was a big Flophouse fan.

[49:34] We traded some small talk about the theater and Twin Sitters before Stuart looked me very earnestly in the eye and called me Steve.

[49:41] Yes.

[49:42] I look forward to the day I can tell my future children that Mr. Stuart Wellington himself called me by name.

[49:50] Not my name, of course, but a name nonetheless.

[49:54] A name.

[49:55] Anyway, the movie showing...

[49:57] He might have called you Chair if you were less lucky.

[49:59] The movie showing itself was a blast.

[50:01] You were all very funny and Twin Sitters proved to be everything.

[50:04] I hope for, in its unabashed insanity.

[50:06] The hilarious slideshow presentation,

[50:09] trivia rounds, and interview session

[50:10] with your wonderful ladies

[50:11] was icing on the cake.

[50:13] I'd like to mention that I also very much

[50:16] appreciate the recommendations portion of the show.

[50:17] I've watched Frozen, Black Death, Centurion,

[50:20] and Election on your collective recommendation.

[50:22] And look forward to loading up on

[50:24] Sin Nombre soon.

[50:26] I think you might be disappointed after all those other movies.

[50:28] But it's a different kind of film.

[50:30] Most of those were my recommendations, by the way.

[50:33] Steve?

[50:34] Again, there's nothing quite like watching a man's head explode like some sort of bizarre meat-stuffed watermelon a la Centurion

[50:43] or idiot frat boys being devoured by the most insanely ravenous wolves in recent film history in Frozen.

[50:49] Keeping with the ridiculously gory theme, I stumbled upon a recent Korean film called I Saw the Devil on Netflix Instant.

[50:56] Man, this guy's got his own podcast.

[50:58] It features the lead from Oldboy as the most disturbing serial killer.

[51:04] hero killer I've ever seen since Anton Chigurh.

[51:06] The film is shockingly violent,

[51:08] and while I typically prefer my violence

[51:10] to be over-the-top and comical,

[51:11] I still find myself compelled to finish the film.

[51:15] No ding-dongs are ripped off,

[51:16] and no one is insulted with a submarine sandwich.

[51:19] But if you're looking for a violent revenge flick,

[51:22] it might be worth your time.

[51:23] Keep up the good work.

[51:24] So, thank you, James.

[51:25] Thanks for that novel.

[51:27] Thanks, James.

[51:28] I gotta apologize.

[51:29] You caught me after a couple of beers

[51:31] and being nervous for doing a live show.

[51:34] I'd had a couple of beers before the show.

[51:36] Stuart was very nervous before the show.

[51:36] Yeah, I'd had like two or three beers.

[51:38] Unlike these guys, I don't do comedy stuff, so I was a little nervous.

[51:45] I can understand that.

[51:46] Danielle, my wife, was so nervous that she actually drank an entire bottle of Jim Bean.

[51:52] That did not happen, but I would love to do that.

[51:55] What's Jim Bean?

[51:57] It's just a guy.

[51:58] Okay.

[52:00] She drank a bottle of some guy.

[52:02] No, she didn't drink at all.

[52:04] So that was a lovely letter.

[52:05] And that's a recommendation I was planning on checking out at some point.

[52:09] So thanks, James.

[52:10] Yeah, I remember when that was in the theaters and I missed it.

[52:12] I was unhappy about it.

[52:13] It's on my Netflix watch, Instant Queue.

[52:16] So you're one step ahead of us.

[52:17] Thanks, dude.

[52:18] Why don't we continue?

[52:19] Head to one-up us.

[52:20] Does that make you feel like a big man, Limitless?

[52:23] A little bit.

[52:24] The final letter of the evening is...

[52:29] It's from Maggie Last Name Withheld

[52:33] Sounds like a girl

[52:35] And it says

[52:35] Dear members of the House of Flop

[52:38] Since you ignored my recent request

[52:41] That you review

[52:43] Love and other drugs for my husband

[52:45] Lieutenant Last Name Withheld

[52:47] Was that a request? I don't remember that one

[52:49] Look let me finish this email

[52:51] I think what happened Dan didn't pass along

[52:52] Let's finish this email

[52:55] Let's blame the messenger

[52:55] There are people listening to this podcast

[52:59] So if you don't interrupt

[53:00] It'll be easier to follow for those people

[53:03] Since you ignored my recent request

[53:05] That you review Love and Other Drugs

[53:07] For my husband, Lieutenant Last Name Withheld

[53:09] I don't remember that

[53:10] In Iraq

[53:10] I've decided to scale down my terms

[53:14] While it'd be awesome if you would review

[53:16] Love and Other Drugs

[53:17] Which both myself and Lieutenant Last Name Withheld hated

[53:20] I will be satisfied if he merely gets a shout out

[53:23] At some point during your next review

[53:25] It would help tip the scales in favor of – sorry, if it would help tip the scales, as it be known to the cognoscenti, L.A.O.D. has Anne Hathaway naked like 89 percent of the movie.

[53:42] That's a huge percentage.

[53:44] That's going to make L.A. really uncomfortable.

[53:46] They're like BFFs, right?

[53:47] Yeah, I'm sorry.

[53:48] I mean I've seen her naked because we've changed in front of each other.

[53:50] Yeah, you guys shower together as kids.

[53:53] I'm sorry.

[53:54] This is my fault.

[53:55] But I did not present Anne Hathaway.

[53:59] This is a request for a woman's husband in Iraq.

[54:02] Yeah.

[54:03] Here's the problem.

[54:05] I've seen Love and Other Drugs starring Elliot's BFF, Anne Hathaway.

[54:12] Yeah, best friend, briefly married.

[54:13] Nude for, it's pretty accurate even though I presented the movie.

[54:18] I've seen the movie.

[54:20] Does the movie take place at a nudist colony?

[54:22] Are they always in the shower?

[54:23] How does that happen?

[54:25] Um, it's a movie about Viagra and about, uh, ladies and gentlemen fucking.

[54:32] And, uh, I enjoy, here's the thing.

[54:35] You made that sound really weird.

[54:36] Yeah, like that's never been in a movie before.

[54:39] Yeah.

[54:39] I, I got this email from this, uh, fine lady.

[54:44] I read Love and Other Drugs.

[54:46] You read it?

[54:47] I saw that title in the email.

[54:50] Oh.

[54:50] I thought to myself, I've seen this movie.

[54:54] i did not read further i admit it it's my problem as soon that's something you should know about dan

[54:59] as soon as he reads the name of the movie scene before he stops reading what happened was he read

[55:03] the email and was like wait a minute she's naked in this movie i'm gonna go watch it on my own for

[55:07] some private i'm gonna have some private my own flop house if you know what i mean private time

[55:12] in that i watched it with my wife well hey tmi oh yeah i don't need to know what you guys do in

[55:18] your spare time but tell me no but no we watched it i i have to admit i did not hate the movie

[55:25] i thought it had its problems didn't hate it which well you didn't hate the love but what

[55:30] about the other drugs the other drugs were not great was one of the drugs so what you're saying

[55:33] is that not only are you not going to fulfill her desire by us watching this movie and making fun of

[55:39] it but you're also saying she's wrong and you're not even gonna make it you're not even gonna give

[55:44] Where's the shout-out?

[55:45] Yet again.

[55:46] You replaced his name with Name Withheld.

[55:48] All right, no.

[55:49] First of all, she called him Lieutenant Last Name Withheld.

[55:52] Oh, okay.

[55:53] Secondly, you guys, as usual, are interrupting me before I get to my point.

[55:58] Are you surprised?

[56:00] Okay, continue.

[56:01] This is my mea culpa.

[56:03] I should have read further and gotten more into this.

[56:08] However, the thing is, I've seen this movie.

[56:12] I didn't entirely hate this movie.

[56:14] I thought it had its problems, but I thought it was okay.

[56:16] But here's what I'm going to say.

[56:17] Because we've had no entries into our last ill-defined Flophouse contest.

[56:24] I didn't even remember we had a contest.

[56:25] Which one was this?

[56:26] I think that was promote the Flophouse.

[56:28] And nobody did.

[56:29] Well, I guess the AV Club wins.

[56:31] Yeah.

[56:31] Well, if Christian Williams wants to claim his prize, then he can.

[56:36] Is that the guy from the AV Club?

[56:37] I think it is.

[56:38] I mean, he's the guy who I know has listened to the podcast before, so I assume that that's the guy.

[56:43] I assumed it was A.V. Club, the guy who writes all the articles on A.V. Club, Andrew Velasquez Club.

[56:50] No, but here's what I'm going to say.

[56:53] Flophouse honors the troops.

[56:57] Of course we do.

[56:58] In lieu of that contest that didn't go anywhere, Lieutenant Last Name Withheld should submit three possible movies for the Flophouse to cover.

[57:09] And like our last contest where we covered Teen Witch, it shouldn't be necessarily something new.

[57:16] It could be any movie.

[57:17] It could be any movie he wants.

[57:18] So what he can do is he can submit three movies, and then you will complain about the three sets.

[57:25] We'll discuss the movie.

[57:28] Well, let's guess the three will come up.

[57:30] Suggest one or two that you want to watch.

[57:32] That we want.

[57:33] One of them will be Teen Witch.

[57:35] And then we will do that film.

[57:39] Yes, sir.

[57:40] Lieutenant, last name withheld.

[57:41] We will see the movie you recommend.

[57:43] Give us three or one.

[57:45] In honor of your service, we will make fun of a terrible film for you.

[57:49] Yes.

[57:50] Or it might be a movie we actually kind of like.

[57:53] I apologize ahead of time if it's a movie we end up actually kind of liking.

[57:58] But we'll still, you know, there'll still be entertainment in it.

[58:00] For us, then.

[58:02] And we still tore it a new hole.

[58:04] Yeah.

[58:04] A new limitless hole.

[58:05] So, guys.

[58:07] So now what do we do?

[58:08] Well, I mean, do you really want to make recommendations or do you want to just call it a night?

[58:13] I watched The Relic yesterday and it wasn't very good.

[58:16] So you're recommending not to watch The Relic?

[58:18] I mean, I wouldn't watch that.

[58:20] I watched the first half hour of Fallen Idol, the Carol Reed film, and then the Netflix disc crapped out on me.

[58:28] So it was pretty awesome up until then.

[58:30] Recommendation for Netflix?

[58:32] I'll recommend the first 30 minutes of Fallen Idol.

[58:34] Well, I will recommend – this is just for a special group out there.

[58:37] I've watched all but the last 15 minutes or so of this movie.

[58:40] It's called The Half-Naked Truth.

[58:41] It's from the 30s.

[58:42] If you ever wanted to see fat character actor Eugene Pallet with his shirt off, this is the movie to see him in.

[58:48] He played Friar Tuck in the Errol Flynn Robin Hood.

[58:51] You may know him as Barbara Stanwyck's dad in The Lady Eve, among other things.

[58:57] Ever wanted to see what he looks like with no shirt on?

[59:00] The Half-Naked Truth, starring Lee Tracy and Lupe Velez, is the movie to see.

[59:05] So three recommendations.

[59:07] Three great recommendations, guys.

[59:10] We still got it, guys.

[59:12] We still got it.

[59:13] Oh, have we ever.

[59:14] We're not letting worse.

[59:15] Three years has been four years.

[59:16] We're not letting our success ruin our longstanding inability to do this.

[59:24] Cue fart sound effect and see you guys later.

[59:27] So I guess we should sign off.

[59:30] What do you think?

[59:32] Why are you looking at me?

[59:33] Why don't you look at Elliot?

[59:34] He's talking to me.

[59:35] WWLD.

[59:36] What would Limitless do?

[59:37] Yeah, he'd probably end the podcast here.

[59:39] Okay, guys.

[59:39] In that case, I've been Dan McCoy.

[59:42] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[59:44] I have been Elliot, last name withheld.

[59:46] The last name's Caitlin.

[59:47] Good night, everyone.

[59:49] Limitless.

[59:52] Limitless.

[59:54] Lulu.

[1:00:01] Test it out.

[1:00:02] Test.

[1:00:02] Basemaster.

[1:00:03] Basemaster.

[1:00:04] Somebody's stealing all the world's base.

[1:00:06] Base.

[1:00:07] Base.

[1:00:08] Stealing all the world's fish.

[1:00:10] Beasts.

[1:00:12] Beasts.

[1:00:13] Beastmasters.

[1:00:14] The porthole of time.

[1:00:15] Please don't get us started on portholes.

The Flop House: Episode #85 - Limitless

Transcript

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