The Flop House: Episode #85 - Limitless

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss a movie based entirely on a misunderstanding about how people's brains work.

[0:07] Limitless.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[0:38] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:39] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:41] Am I close enough?

[0:42] Yeah, you didn't find my levels.

[0:43] Stuart, I like the chiminess of the way you said your name, like it was a doorbell.

Stuart Wellington

[0:46] Yeah, I tried to do a, you know, like a pregnant pause.

Dan McCoy

[0:50] I'm glad you didn't do it like La Cucaracha.

Stuart Wellington

[0:55] Okay, how would that go?

Dan McCoy

[0:56] I don't know.

[0:57] Stuart Wellington, maybe.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00] I don't think I'm going to do that.

[1:02] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:03] So Elliot, how are you, Dan?

Elliott Kalan

[1:05] Nice try convincing him to do that, Dan.

[1:08] You failed.

Dan McCoy

[1:10] Yep.

[1:11] I was burnt in that instance.

[1:13] So welcome to the Flophouse.

[1:15] It's a film podcast primarily.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18] And, well, for the first 15 minutes, it's usually a nonsense flop podcast.

[1:23] It's a nonsense flop podcast.

[1:25] Whatever.

[1:26] It's a flop sense nodcast.

[1:30] So nod off to our flops.

[1:31] True or flops.

[1:31] Sure.

[1:32] Should we talk about movies today, though?

[1:35] Well, should we talk about what you've been doing?

Stuart Wellington

[1:36] What have you been doing lately, Dan?

Elliott Kalan

[1:38] I know.

[1:38] Let's update the listeners.

[1:39] What have you been doing?

Dan McCoy

[1:42] Comedy.

[1:43] I've been trying to write comedy.

[1:45] Okay.

[1:45] Elliot knows.

[1:47] He's been down the hall from me.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48] Dan's been doing a lot of wandering into my office at different points throughout the day.

[1:52] And I was saying, hey, what's up?

[1:53] And him going, nothing.

[1:54] And then just him kind of standing in my office and then leaving after a couple minutes.

[1:59] While I am trying to do valuable email.

Dan McCoy

[2:01] You know, I've said many times that if it was, if I was wandering into your office too much just to let me know.

[2:08] And apparently the time that you're letting me know is on the air.

Elliott Kalan

[2:12] I just decided to let you know as publicly as possible.

[2:14] Makes it very hard for me to look up pornography at work.

[2:17] Wait.

[2:18] When you're in my office.

[2:20] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[2:21] Now, today, guys, we watched a movie.

[2:26] We did watch a movie.

Elliott Kalan

[2:28] Was this a movie with limits?

[2:29] Oh, boy.

Dan McCoy

[2:30] Dan?

[2:31] It was a limitless movie.

[2:33] Why would it be limitless?

[2:34] The title suggested how limitless it was.

[2:36] And what was that title?

[2:38] It was limitless.

[2:39] That was a real come down from that build-up.

Elliott Kalan

[2:41] Anti-climax.

[2:43] There was a limit to how far we could go with that.

[2:45] Yeah.

[2:45] Starring Bradley Cooper.

[2:47] Yep.

[2:48] Bradley Cooper, who, did he do something before The Hangover?

[2:52] Like, where did he come from?

Stuart Wellington

[2:53] He was the bad guy in The Wedding Crashers.

Dan McCoy

[2:56] Uh-huh.

[2:56] He was, uh, he played, um, I forget the name of the character.

[3:01] He was a character on Alias for the first couple seasons.

[3:04] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[3:04] Was he Jim Alias?

[3:06] The main character?

[3:06] He was James Alias.

[3:08] And is he related to Winnie Cooper?

[3:10] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[3:10] Uh, yeah.

[3:11] I would imagine.

Elliott Kalan

[3:12] What about Minnie Cooper?

[3:13] Their mom?

[3:13] No.

Stuart Wellington

[3:16] Not related to his mom.

[3:18] He was also a bad guy in the Canadian horror movie, My Little Eye.

[3:23] So there.

Elliott Kalan

[3:26] Um, he was, uh...

[3:27] So this movie is a Bradley Cooper fan site.

[3:29] This is the Coop cast.

[3:32] The internet's biggest Bradley Cooper podcast.

[3:34] Unlike our cage cast.

[3:36] Usually it's a cage cast, yeah.

[3:38] Or a Heigel cast.

[3:40] Heigel cast?

[3:41] Hyper color cast?

Stuart Wellington

[3:43] Don't worry about it.

[3:44] So, uh, Bradley Cooper's in this movie, and it's about a magical drug that makes him a super genius.

Elliott Kalan

[3:49] It's called NZT.

[3:50] It's a clear little pill that makes you use 100% of your brain, because this movie is not based on science.

Stuart Wellington

[3:56] We thought it was a button initially, but then we're not using 100% of our brains, so I don't know what we're saying.

[4:01] That's true.

Dan McCoy

[4:02] Now, that was, like, the irritating thing when we watched this trailer.

[4:04] It was an eye.

[4:05] I mean, like, this was what, uh, initially sort of struck our fancy.

[4:08] When all three of us watched this trailer.

[4:09] About this trailer.

[4:10] Our trailer podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[4:12] When it was...

[4:13] The Coming Soon House.

Dan McCoy

[4:14] When I was like, oh, you know that, you know how we, everyone only uses 20% of their brains, and we're all like, no, that's not, that's not a true thing.

[4:22] That's an urban legend.

[4:24] But thank you for basing an entire film on that premise.

Elliott Kalan

[4:27] It's kind of like if they based an entire movie on how if you mix pop rocks and coke, your head explodes.

[4:34] And there's, like, a scientist who's got to stop people's heads from exploding after they drink coke while eating pop rocks.

[4:40] Yeah.

[4:41] I mean, do they still make pop rocks?

[4:42] I mean...

[4:43] It would be set in the 80s or 90s.

[4:45] Okay.

[4:45] It would be set in the 90s, I guess, because then you do 90s fashions, a lot of 90s songs on the soundtrack.

[4:50] You do cameos from 90s stars.

[4:52] I mean, I smell a hit.

[4:53] And I would sort of...

[4:54] I think it's going to be a big hit.

Elliott Kalan

[4:55] What do we call it, though?

Stuart Wellington

[4:57] Uh, uh, limited.

[4:59] Wait, no, I think you're just...

[5:01] Okay, limited.

[5:01] I love it.

[5:01] I like it.

[5:02] I mean, like, I sort of imagine...

[5:04] Hollywood, hello.

Dan McCoy

[5:04] ...that the, like, there's, like, a burst tank down at the Coca-Cola factory.

[5:08] Okay.

[5:09] And so all the Coca-Cola runs downhill into the Pop Rocks factory and just tanks, like, a batch of Pop Rocks.

Elliott Kalan

[5:15] So poorly placed.

[5:16] Well, but then it would explode instantly.

[5:17] No, but no, it's limited to an explosion.

[5:19] Saliva is the third element.

[5:21] The combination of the two.

[5:23] No, no, no.

Stuart Wellington

[5:23] No, I like Dan's comment.

[5:25] It comes into...

[5:25] It needs human saliva, like, they tested them on animals.

[5:28] So...

[5:29] Doesn't work.

[5:29] No explosions.

Elliott Kalan

[5:30] You mean that...

[5:31] So we're not going to get to see a dog's head explode?

Stuart Wellington

[5:33] Well, maybe if the dog's head is right next to a human head that's exploding.

Dan McCoy

[5:37] No, we see it.

[5:37] No.

[5:38] We see a dog's head explode in earlier trials, but then they're like, okay, we've finally worked the kinks out.

[5:44] You know, no one's heads are exploding now.

Elliott Kalan

[5:45] It's queued up to human DNA in this saliva.

[5:49] Yep.

[5:50] Okay, well, we figured out the plot.

[5:51] Great.

[5:52] We have the entire movie right there.

[5:53] We have the characters, the dog, the scientist, the Pop Rock tank.

[5:57] Star power is where you're going, right?

Dan McCoy

[5:57] I think Tobey Hooper is signed on to direct.

Elliott Kalan

[6:00] Tobey Hooper?

[6:01] Yeah.

[6:01] Who's that?

[6:02] The French director?

[6:03] The director of the Tejas Chainsaw Massacre?

Dan McCoy

[6:05] That's how Chainsaw in Summer School refers to him, so I assume that he knows what he's talking about.

[6:12] Oh, yeah, of course.

[6:13] Sure, the fictional character played by Dean K.

[6:15] The fictional character who's so dumb that he's in Summer School.

[6:18] But he knows about gore movies.

[6:20] Well, it's not that he's unintelligent.

[6:22] His name is Chainsaw.

[6:23] He just can't apply himself.

[6:24] He knows about the director of the Tejas Chainsaw Massacre.

[6:28] If anyone knows about the director of the Tejas Chainsaw Massacre, it's a guy named Chainsaw.

Elliott Kalan

[6:32] I don't know about that.

[6:33] Maybe a guy named Leatherface would know a little bit about it.

[6:36] Star of the movie?

Dan McCoy

[6:37] It was about him?

[6:38] Leatherface will murder you.

Stuart Wellington

[6:39] He will not tell you the name.

[6:41] Or he'll try.

[6:41] I mean, Elliot is pretty wicked with a pair of mini Chainsaws.

[6:44] Yeah, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[6:46] Too many Chainsaws.

[6:47] One in each hand.

[6:47] Sure.

[6:48] Actually, too many in each hand.

[6:50] So limited.

[6:51] Limited movie.

[6:52] So limited.

[6:52] Who are the 90s stars that we get to appear in this?

[6:55] I assume Crisscross, The Raptors.

[6:56] So wait, we're going back in time for the...

[6:58] I think Nicole Eggert.

[6:59] Nicole Eggert.

[7:00] Great choice.

[7:02] Who else?

[7:03] Like at least one guaranteed nude scene, right?

[7:04] Yeah.

[7:05] Right Said Fred.

[7:06] Sure.

[7:07] He also contributes to the soundtrack, of course.

[7:10] Well, the soundtrack.

[7:10] Oh, yes.

[7:11] Okay, let's talk about Limitless.

[7:13] Let's cut the shit.

[7:14] A real movie that we actually...

[7:15] Let's go to Limitless.

[7:16] So Bradley Cooper is a no-name.

[7:20] He's just a guy.

[7:21] His life is in shambles.

[7:22] He lives in a rundown apartment in Chinatown that would actually be pretty expensive nowadays.

Dan McCoy

[7:26] He's got a splint on his finger.

[7:28] He's got a splint on his...

[7:28] For some reason that's not explained, which is pretty great, actually.

Elliott Kalan

[7:31] And his hair is tied back in kind of a gross...

[7:33] Not ponytail, exactly.

Stuart Wellington

[7:34] Yeah, like he washed his hair like a couple of days ago, immediately put it in a ponytail,

[7:38] and then just let it sit.

[7:39] It's good for the week.

Elliott Kalan

[7:40] And he has...

[7:42] His girlfriend is breaking up with him, and he owes a novel to a publisher because somehow

[7:47] this guy who's a nobody that is a nothing sold a novel to a publisher without having written

[7:53] it yet.

Dan McCoy

[7:53] With an advance, apparently.

[7:55] Yeah.

[7:56] One would assume that that's what he...

Elliott Kalan

[7:57] There's a lot of things...

[7:58] I assume that.

[7:59] This movie feels like it was written by like a teenager who doesn't have a lot of experience

[8:04] about the real world, which is not to say that it's necessarily a terrible thing, but

[8:07] it's just like you have to pretend that the movie doesn't play by reality.

[8:11] Right.

[8:11] So like a nobody can sell a novel to a publishing company with an advance without having written

[8:16] the novel, you only use 20% of your brain.

[8:19] Business is mostly made up of like...

[8:21] I've heard that before, though.

Elliott Kalan

[8:21] I mean, come on.

[8:22] But it's not true.

[8:23] It's not true.

[8:24] Oh, okay.

[8:24] It's like when I was a kid, and they'd be like, here, can you cover your whole face

[8:27] with your hands?

[8:27] That means you're going to get cancer.

[8:29] What?

[8:29] Who are the scientists who have established this?

Dan McCoy

[8:31] Elliot, that was just a precursor to someone shoving their hand in your face.

[8:35] I don't know if you understand.

[8:35] But they never did that.

[8:36] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[8:36] You just like your own hand against your face.

[8:37] The kids I knew didn't do that part.

[8:39] They didn't know the punchline of...

[8:40] No.

[8:40] They just thought it was a cancer test.

[8:43] Wow.

[8:43] They were trying to help me.

[8:44] They were concerned about you.

[8:46] But one day, Bradley Cooper runs into his ex-brother-in-law, his ex-wife's brother, who gives

[8:56] him a radical new drug called NZT.

[8:58] Radical!

[8:59] And when he takes it, suddenly everything goes fish-eye lens, and there's brighter colors,

[9:05] and he can think faster, and he talks faster, and he knows everything.

[9:08] He remembers everything.

[9:10] It's weird.

[9:10] At one point, he says...

[9:12] He's literally...

[9:13] There's a lot of narration, and he's literally narrating what's happening.

[9:16] He goes, I reach back to a memory I never even recorded.

[9:19] It's just there.

[9:20] You cannot...

[9:21] Like, even there, it's just poorly worded.

[9:23] I don't...

[9:23] You can't have a memory without recording it.

Dan McCoy

[9:25] You know, of all the things about the way a brain works, like, that's the thing that

[9:28] bothered me the least.

[9:29] I can accept the idea, like, okay, there's this memory in his brain, and it's totally latent,

[9:35] and now that he's reached, you know, like, total brain capacity, he's gonna do it.

[9:40] I have much more...

Elliott Kalan

[9:41] No, it's just the poor wording of that phrase.

Dan McCoy

[9:43] I guess.

[9:43] I have much more trouble believing later on.

[9:46] Later on, when he, like, is fighting someone, and he's like, I'm reaching back into, like,

[9:51] memories of, like, kung fu movies I've seen.

[9:52] He's like, just because you've seen these movies doesn't mean you have the muscle memory

[9:55] to fight people.

Elliott Kalan

[9:57] Or the strength.

[9:57] Yeah.

[9:58] Or the flexibility.

[9:58] Sure.

[9:59] I forgot the opening scene.

[10:00] Opening scene.

[10:02] He's standing on the ledge of a luxury apartment building.

[10:05] He's in a nice suit.

[10:06] The movie begins with everything fucked up.

[10:08] Everything's screwed up.

[10:08] People are trying to break in to attack him.

[10:11] You don't know why.

[10:12] He's considering jumping and killing himself.

[10:14] Then, zoom down to the ground into a taxi.

[10:17] Zoom through the taxi to other taxis.

[10:19] Zoom through the city into his own brain.

[10:22] Then zoom farther into the brain.

[10:24] Keep zooming.

[10:25] Blood vessels.

[10:26] Synapses.

[10:27] Keep zooming farther, and you see Manhattan Island, and you zoom into Manhattan Island,

[10:31] and you eventually find Bradley Cooper again when he's in the past, when he's all, you

[10:36] know, not impressive.

Stuart Wellington

[10:37] So if you zoom far enough, you go back in time?

[10:39] Apparently.

Elliott Kalan

[10:39] This movie is in love with super long zooms.

[10:42] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[10:43] This movie's got a lot of style.

[10:45] It's got a lot.

[10:45] And by style, I mean a lot of direction.

Elliott Kalan

[10:47] It has the most direction of a movie.

[10:50] Yep.

[10:51] Top.

[10:51] I mean, it's one of the...

[10:52] It's limitless.

Stuart Wellington

[10:53] There's a million movies that begin with, everything's fucked up.

[10:56] How did it get this way?

[10:57] You're going to find out in a couple of minutes.

[10:59] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[11:00] So anyway, we go back.

[11:01] He meets his ex-brother-in-law.

[11:03] His ex-brother-in-law gives him a drug.

[11:05] He takes it.

[11:06] Suddenly, he's using 100% of his brain.

[11:08] He charms his landlord's wife into having sex with him.

Dan McCoy

[11:12] Yeah.

[11:12] Because women, above everything else, they're like a really smart guy.

Elliott Kalan

[11:16] Yeah.

[11:17] Specifically a guy that doesn't stop talking.

[11:19] Yeah, we have that experience.

[11:20] Sure.

[11:21] Smart guys who don't stop talking.

[11:22] Women just fall into bed with them.

[11:24] Knee deep.

[11:24] Sure.

[11:25] Knee deep in bed?

[11:27] Yeah.

[11:28] Like the bed made out of quicksand?

[11:29] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[11:30] I've got a very swampy bed, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[11:31] Why would you sleep in that?

[11:33] I guess if you don't struggle, you won't sink all the way.

[11:36] It's very comfortable.

Dan McCoy

[11:38] It's memory.

[11:38] It's a memory swamp.

[11:39] Memory sand.

Elliott Kalan

[11:40] I assume there's a vine hanging over your bed so you can get out in the morning.

[11:44] So he's super smart.

[11:46] He writes his novel in like four days.

[11:48] The publisher loves it.

[11:49] Of course.

[11:50] You never hear about the novel ever again.

[11:51] I assume that, I don't know, the publishing house burns down with the only copy.

Dan McCoy

[11:55] Well, once you get clear, Elliot, once you're using 100% of your brain, all of your artistic ambitions go out the window.

[12:01] I see.

[12:01] Like you realize that that's a sucker's game.

[12:04] All you want to do is make money on Wall Street, which is what he does for the rest of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[12:08] Which is what he decides to do.

[12:09] And he learns languages instantly.

[12:11] And he starts stock brokering.

[12:15] He has his own system.

[12:17] He brokers stocks.

[12:18] He starts breaking stocks.

[12:20] Okay.

[12:20] Just breaking them up.

[12:21] Breaking them down.

[12:22] Sure.

[12:22] Breaking them all around.

Dan McCoy

[12:23] All over the land.

[12:25] Just pieces of stocks.

[12:25] Somehow he gets involved with Robert De Niro.

[12:27] She, the shiny sea.

Elliott Kalan

[12:28] Well, I'm getting.

[12:28] But he borrows some money from a Russian gangster to get into the stock market.

[12:32] Oh, yeah.

[12:33] Okay.

[12:33] Then he does so well in the stock market that there's a story about him in the New York Post.

[12:37] And then he's not famous again ever.

[12:40] That's kind of picked up and dropped.

[12:42] But he's able to arrange a meeting with Robert De Niro, who is apparently the richest man in the world, whose last name is Van Loon.

[12:48] And there's a great moment where his.

Dan McCoy

[12:49] Maybe that's a Scrooge McDuck reference, you think?

[12:52] It probably is.

[12:53] Isn't that Von Drake?

[12:54] No.

[12:55] I'm just saying, you know.

[12:56] I mean, it sounds like a Duckburg name.

[12:59] It does sound like a Duckburg name.

[13:00] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[13:01] The.

[13:01] One of the founding families of Duckburg.

[13:03] The Van Loon.

[13:05] There's a part where he.

[13:06] He's.

[13:06] His girlfriend gets back together with him because he's cleaned himself up and he has money now.

[13:10] And he says, I'm meeting with, you know, John Van Loon.

[13:12] And she goes, what can you do for John Van Loon?

[13:15] And it sounds like the Dr. Seuss book.

[13:18] Dr. Seuss never got around to writing.

[13:20] What can you do for John Van Loon?

Dan McCoy

[13:24] Oh, the places you'll go for John Van Loon.

Elliott Kalan

[13:26] He meets Robert De Niro and impresses him with his ability to talk businessy stuff.

[13:31] But then.

[13:32] Does he.

[13:33] Does he sleep with him?

[13:34] He's.

[13:35] Strangely enough, he doesn't fall into bed with Robert De Niro.

[13:37] You were kind of expecting that scene.

[13:39] I was.

[13:39] Yeah.

[13:39] This is after.

[13:40] There's like a montage of him making money and then becoming a jet setter and flying all

[13:45] over the world and hanging out with beautiful people.

[13:48] And it could take place over a month or it could take place over one afternoon.

[13:53] They're just not like part of the movie becomes he's unable to tell time.

[13:56] And the movie communicates that by being very bad at telling how much time.

Dan McCoy

[14:00] I don't know whether like.

[14:01] I mean like later on in the movie.

[14:04] Yes, it's about how he can't tell time and how he loses time.

[14:08] But early in the movie, I kind of don't know whether that's the movie doing that on purpose

[14:12] or whether it's just the screenwriting where it's just like I don't know whether this like

[14:17] a year has passed.

[14:18] I have no idea.

Elliott Kalan

[14:19] He also seems to get really rich and then he's not as rich again.

[14:22] Yeah.

[14:23] Like he's flying all over the world buying sports cars but then he still lives in the

[14:26] same apartment in Chinatown.

[14:28] And he like why doesn't he start his own business?

[14:30] Why does he join up with Van Loon?

[14:32] But anyway, he impresses Van Loon.

[14:34] Van Loon says meet me again tomorrow.

[14:36] But uh-oh.

[14:37] He runs out of pills.

Stuart Wellington

[14:39] Yep.

[14:39] You would think that being limitless would mean that he would remember not, you know,

[14:44] to stock up on his magic smart pills.

[14:47] He's always to count the pills.

[14:49] I mean-

[14:50] At the minimum.

[14:51] As I said, the first thing as soon as he took it, the first one, is he would think he would

[14:55] use it to invent more pills.

[14:57] Like that's the first thing on your mind.

[14:59] But the first thing he does-

[15:00] It's like when you get a fucking genie, the first thing you ask for is a million more wishes

[15:03] or whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[15:03] I mean, it's just a fool's game if you don't.

[15:05] Yeah.

[15:05] I mean, what are you?

[15:06] A sucker?

[15:07] Come on.

[15:08] Don't be a sucker.

[15:09] Make the genie a sucker.

[15:10] Yeah.

[15:10] I mean-

[15:11] You make that genie work for you.

[15:12] Exactly.

[15:12] You're not working for him.

[15:13] No, of course not.

Dan McCoy

[15:14] So all of you listeners, if you ever get a genie-

Stuart Wellington

[15:17] So like when you have a monkey's paw, you wish for a monkey's paw that has a million monkey

[15:20] fingers.

Elliott Kalan

[15:20] I would say, I wish for a monkey's paw where my wishes don't end up hurting me ironically.

[15:26] Yeah.

[15:27] Okay.

[15:27] I mean, that would be my second wish.

[15:29] When you get that monkey's paw, then your second wish is, I wish this monkey's paw had

[15:32] a billion fingers so I'd have a billion wishes.

[15:34] Right.

[15:34] Okay.

[15:36] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[15:36] I think you're probably right because otherwise it might grow too many fingers.

Elliott Kalan

[15:39] Then you use the monkey's paw as a back scratcher just to show it who's boss.

Dan McCoy

[15:44] Guys, you should probably be taking notes right now.

Elliott Kalan

[15:47] Okay.

[15:47] Anyone listening, this is no longer a movie podcast.

[15:49] This is a how to get rich through wishes podcast.

[15:52] This is the top selling wishes financial podcast.

Dan McCoy

[15:55] Don't make the same mistakes we did.

Elliott Kalan

[15:57] We made a lot of mistakes.

[15:58] Ironic wishes.

[15:59] You bet we got a few of them.

[16:00] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[16:01] That's why we're stuck doing this podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[16:03] Don't ever say-

[16:04] What are you talking about?

[16:05] If someone uses up one of your wishes wishing for a sandwich, don't ever say, I wish that

[16:11] sandwich was on your nose because it will end up attached to their nose.

[16:14] You wasted a wish.

[16:15] Yeah.

[16:18] That's the kind of thing that happens in fairy tales all the time.

Stuart Wellington

[16:20] It's careful use of language.

[16:22] You will get the experience.

[16:23] You need to eliminate wish from your vocabulary, I got to tell you.

Elliott Kalan

[16:25] Here's a tip.

[16:26] Here's a tip from a pro.

[16:27] Yeah.

[16:27] Don't say wish unless you mean it.

[16:28] And if you're making a wish, write it down first.

[16:31] Yeah.

[16:31] Work out the angles.

[16:32] Think about it.

[16:32] Don't freeform it.

[16:33] Don't improv this wish.

[16:34] So wait.

Stuart Wellington

[16:35] Do monkey's paws accept written wishes?

[16:38] No, no.

[16:38] You write it down and then you read it aloud when you've worked out the wording.

[16:41] But what I'm saying is they can tell the difference between spoken aloud and written down.

Elliott Kalan

[16:47] No.

[16:47] I mean they don't care.

[16:48] It's just you're making sure there's nothing in the wish that you don't want to have happen.

[16:52] You're just plotting out the wish.

[16:53] Has anyone ever tried to write a wish down in front of a monkey's paw?

[16:56] I don't think it doesn't matter.

[16:57] You can't write a letter to a monkey's paw.

[16:58] I could.

[17:00] All right.

[17:01] Do it right now.

[17:01] I dare you.

[17:02] I dare you.

Stuart Wellington

[17:03] Give me somebody's Blackberry.

[17:05] Wait.

[17:06] Why a Blackberry?

Elliott Kalan

[17:08] Yeah.

[17:08] You know the monkey's paw Blackberry number?

Stuart Wellington

[17:10] Yeah.

[17:11] Yeah.

[17:11] I'm going to give him a BBM.

Elliott Kalan

[17:13] Whoa.

[17:14] On the air?

[17:14] This is a family podcast.

[17:17] Da-da-da-da-da-da.

[17:19] Anyway.

[17:19] Back to the synopsis.

[17:20] So limitless.

[17:21] I forgot to mention that his brother-in-law ends up murdered.

[17:25] His ex-brother.

[17:25] He goes to his ex-brother-in-law's apartment.

[17:27] Picks up his brother-in-law's dry cleaning.

[17:29] And when he comes back, he's dead.

[17:31] Bum, bum, bum.

[17:31] Someone killed him.

[17:32] Probably for the drugs.

Stuart Wellington

[17:34] But they didn't find the drugs.

[17:35] He found the drugs.

[17:36] He takes them and becomes a magician.

[17:38] Super genius.

[17:39] Yes.

[17:40] Yep.

[17:40] I wish he became a magician.

Elliott Kalan

[17:42] I'll use this intelligence to create tricks no one will be able to see through.

[17:46] Not even Penn and Teller.

[17:47] Illusions.

[17:48] Illusions.

[17:48] He calls them tricks.

[17:49] Okay.

[17:50] He has no illusions.

[17:51] Sure.

[17:52] I don't know that's hilarious.

[17:53] About it.

[17:54] Anyway.

[17:55] So he's limitless.

[17:56] He starts working with Robert De Niro.

[17:58] He runs out of pills.

[17:59] But then he gets more pills.

[18:00] I got confused around this point.

[18:02] He's getting chased by a guy.

[18:03] He doesn't know why.

[18:04] His girlfriend – he runs out of pills and he starts going into withdrawal.

[18:09] And he makes his girlfriend go and get his stash, which he hid in a shell in her apartment rather than carry like three on him at all times.

[18:17] As you said, for a guy who's using 100 percent of his brain, he seems to forget a lot how many pills he has on him at any moment.

[18:24] Or the fact that the pills are the source of his power.

[18:27] I don't use all of my brain all the time, but I always know how much money I have on me.

[18:32] Because I'm neurotic.

Stuart Wellington

[18:34] Maybe he knows exactly how many pills he's got, but he thinks his life would be more exciting if he forgot sometimes.

Elliott Kalan

[18:41] That's possible, yeah.

[18:42] He's just looking for the thrill at this point.

Stuart Wellington

[18:44] Yeah, that's the thing.

[18:44] It's like a ground rush.

Elliott Kalan

[18:46] He sends his girlfriend to go get them.

[18:47] His girlfriend is chased by this guy who's chasing him.

[18:50] Sure.

[18:51] And he's chasing her with a knife.

[18:53] And she calls him and Bradley Cooper says, use one of the pills.

[18:55] You'll think your way out of it.

[18:56] Now, they're at Woolman Rink in Central Park.

[18:59] It's an ice skating rink.

[19:01] Here's how she takes the pill.

[19:03] Suddenly, everything gets all hazy.

[19:05] Everything's fish-eyed.

[19:06] That means you're super smart.

Stuart Wellington

[19:07] Then she zooms in on a bunch of different potential weapons.

Dan McCoy

[19:10] She zooms in on details like any number of detective shows you've seen.

[19:14] You're like, oh, I'm a super detective.

[19:16] I'm going to see only the important things.

[19:18] There's some hedge clippers.

[19:19] There's a baseball bat.

Elliott Kalan

[19:20] It's just like in Shoot Him Up whenever he takes a bite of a carrot and suddenly his vision gets much better.

[19:24] Yeah.

[19:25] Like that.

[19:25] Yet she sees a hedge clipper, a baseball bat, and?

Stuart Wellington

[19:29] When running across the ice rink, almost about to get stabbed, she uses a little girl.

[19:35] Initially, we assume as a human shield.

[19:37] But nope.

[19:37] She swings the girl around, who is wearing ice skates, and slashes the guy's face all up.

[19:43] With the little girl's ice skates.

[19:44] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[19:45] Of the options.

[19:46] Straumatizing a little girl.

Dan McCoy

[19:47] I would have gone with either the hedge clippers or the baseball bat.

[19:51] I would have gone with the baseball bat.

Elliott Kalan

[19:52] Yeah.

[19:53] Rather than the pick up a little girl and use her as a weapon.

[19:56] Yeah.

[19:56] Swing her around.

Dan McCoy

[19:57] I mean, if you want to.

[19:58] In the hopes that he's going to slash this guy in the cheek.

[20:01] In the cheek, mind you.

[20:03] And then he just falls down.

[20:04] He's so shocked by what happened.

[20:06] Yeah.

[20:06] He's so appalled.

Elliott Kalan

[20:08] She used a little girl as a weapon.

Dan McCoy

[20:10] Who does that?

[20:10] Who does that kind of thing?

Stuart Wellington

[20:11] Well, now he realizes that the people he's dealing with are true monsters.

[20:16] Yes.

[20:16] Like the depths that she's willing to get.

[20:18] Their depravity is limitless.

Elliott Kalan

[20:20] Yeah.

[20:20] Oh, limitless.

[20:22] Anywho.

[20:23] So, it turns out everyone taking this drug, you get sick.

[20:28] And if you take it too long, you die.

[20:30] And if you go into withdrawal.

[20:31] Yeah, your hair falls out.

Stuart Wellington

[20:32] You look like a skeleton face.

[20:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[20:34] And if you go cold turkey, you also die.

[20:37] And everyone gets a limp for some reason.

Stuart Wellington

[20:38] Yeah, it messes with your feet.

[20:41] The Russian mobster is.

[20:43] He's out.

[20:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[20:44] The rich man.

Elliott Kalan

[20:45] The Russian mobster comes back to get his money.

[20:47] Instead, Bradley Cooper gives him pills.

[20:50] So the Russian mobster gets smart.

[20:52] Not a good idea.

[20:53] Bradley Cooper gets a job with Robert De Niro.

[20:56] He impresses him after he gets the pills again.

[20:58] And they're organizing a merger with a company run by a guy that Bradley Cooper realizes is also taking NZT, the miracle genius drug.

[21:06] Because, as it turns out, everyone was taking it, it seems, except for Bradley Cooper.

[21:11] It's like.

[21:11] And apparently Robert De Niro.

[21:13] And Robert De Niro.

[21:14] Because he's naturally super smart.

[21:17] The guy who was doing, who was heading the other company.

[21:20] He dies.

[21:21] Because he doesn't have enough of the stuff.

[21:23] Because he runs out of the drugs.

[21:25] It turns out the guy who was chasing them was working for that guy.

[21:28] The Russian mobster still wants more drugs.

[21:31] And there's a climax where the Russian mobster is trying to break in.

[21:34] Where we flash back to the beginning.

[21:36] We go back to where we were.

[21:38] The Russian mobster is breaking into the apartment.

[21:41] Bradley Cooper realizes, wait a minute.

[21:43] I probably have a deus ex machina pill hidden somewhere.

Dan McCoy

[21:48] Well, except for it isn't a deus ex machina because he drops it.

Elliott Kalan

[21:51] Well, no, but it's one of those moments where it's like, oh, that box I checked earlier that had no pills in it, it probably still has one pill in it.

Stuart Wellington

[21:58] For a second he thought I was totally fucked, but instead I got a get out of jail free card right here that you didn't know about.

[22:03] But then he drops it.

Elliott Kalan

[22:05] And what does he do?

[22:05] He's got to outsmart everybody with his normal brain.

[22:09] And he does it by stabbing a guy and then drinking his blood.

Stuart Wellington

[22:13] Because no matter how smart you are, a knife is still going to totally kill you.

[22:18] You're never smarter than a knife.

Dan McCoy

[22:19] Yeah, Russian guy is like, you are so stupid.

[22:23] Like, that's not a Russian accent.

[22:24] No, it's not.

[22:26] You're so stupid.

[22:27] I have discovered that if you inject it directly into your bloodstream, it's much more powerful.

[22:33] And then when Bradley Cooper stabs him, he's like, oh, what I got to do is I got to drink this guy's blood.

Elliott Kalan

[22:39] So he just starts lapping up the blood like?

[22:42] What?

[22:43] Like a monster?

[22:44] What?

[22:44] Like Kronos.

[22:45] Oh, like in Kronos.

[22:46] Like you said when we were watching the movie, like in Kronos.

Stuart Wellington

[22:48] Yeah, yeah.

[22:49] Except in Kronos, he didn't immediately get blue eyes and become super smart.

[22:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[22:53] The blue eyes are because he's a spice user.

Stuart Wellington

[22:55] Somehow.

[22:55] He's gone to Arrakis.

Dan McCoy

[22:56] He's just terribly diluted in his bloodstream.

[23:00] How many points of blood are this man?

[23:03] This guy used?

[23:03] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[23:03] This could be a really powerful drug and he could have very thin blood.

Dan McCoy

[23:06] Okay.

[23:07] But he like laps up like two tablespoons of this guy's blood and all of a sudden he's like,

[23:12] zoop.

[23:12] I'm back to full power.

Elliott Kalan

[23:13] This is the problem you're having with the medicine of the movie.

Dan McCoy

[23:17] This is a whole movie based on nonsense.

[23:20] Look, I've accepted the basic nonsense.

Elliott Kalan

[23:21] So why can't you accept that if you drink a smart guy's blood, you turn smart?

[23:24] Because.

[23:26] That's why there's so many genius vampires.

Dan McCoy

[23:28] I will accept a base level of nonsense.

[23:30] But within the context of the nonsense of the movie, that was more nonsense.

Elliott Kalan

[23:33] That reminds me of a coworker of ours, Rich, told me about a screenwriting book he read.

[23:38] Where he talked about how you can only have two crazy.

[23:40] You can only have one crazy thing in a movie.

[23:42] You can't have more than one because that ruins it.

[23:43] And he says the example in the book was you can't have aliens land and then have one of the aliens be bitten by a vampire.

[23:50] That's too much.

[23:51] And we both, Rich and I both had the same reaction, which was that sounds like the best movie ever.

[23:55] Why are you putting that in a screenwriting book?

[23:57] You should write that script and sell it.

[23:59] Vampire aliens?

[24:00] That sounds great.

[24:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[24:01] How would that vampire react with that sudden injection of alien blood?

Elliott Kalan

[24:05] That's the thing.

[24:05] The alien turns into the vampire.

[24:07] What happens to the vampire?

[24:09] Does he turn into an alien?

Stuart Wellington

[24:10] He probably becomes dependent on that sweet, sweet alien blood.

[24:13] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:13] It's like green broth.

Dan McCoy

[24:15] Yeah.

[24:15] I do like that.

[24:16] I do like that movie.

[24:17] You like that movie we just invented.

[24:19] That not real movie?

[24:21] He just zoomed in past us.

Elliott Kalan

[24:23] You like it more or less than limited, the movie about the Pop Rocks Coke explosions.

[24:27] No, I like that one.

[24:28] It's pretty cool.

[24:29] That's great.

[24:29] I'm going to go with that one.

[24:30] Okay.

[24:31] More than vampire aliens?

Stuart Wellington

[24:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[24:33] Because I named it.

Dan McCoy

[24:35] I think a better version of that is –

[24:37] Count Space Hila.

[24:38] That's what we'll call it.

[24:39] Count Space Hila.

[24:40] I've – Steve Martin has talked about writing Roxanne and how like his theory on that is

[24:45] like you have to have the craziest thing early in the movie and then the audience will go

[24:51] with it.

[24:51] And that's kind of what – that's why in Roxanne –

[24:53] What's the craziest thing, Roxanne?

Elliott Kalan

[24:54] Is he has a big nose?

Dan McCoy

[24:55] No, no.

[24:55] That's why in Roxanne like –

[24:56] I mean it's pretty crazy.

[24:57] It starts off with him having that sword fight.

[24:58] Have you seen the nose?

[24:59] With a – he's like using a tennis racket to have a sword fight and he's like, all right,

[25:04] this is like the base – like this is like the baseline of like silliness.

[25:07] This is as crazy as it's going to get.

[25:08] You know, and like if you accept this, you're going to go along with the rest of the movie.

[25:11] And I think that's kind of like the way that – like I'm not – I'm going to take

[25:15] a movie that has –

Elliott Kalan

[25:16] I don't know because I like a movie that has a crazy surprise near the end.

[25:20] If it doesn't break the tone, like Kick-Ass, which I didn't like anyway, but when

[25:24] he comes in at the end with a jet pack with Gatling guns mounted on it, that is too crazy.

[25:30] But I like a movie that at the last minute pulls out something where you're like, what?

Stuart Wellington

[25:34] What?

[25:34] Aliens are allergic to water?

Elliott Kalan

[25:36] Well, that was – that's revealed to the main character by the director halfway through

[25:40] Science.

[25:41] Halfway through Science, the director of the movie tells the main character how to stop

[25:45] the aliens.

[25:46] What a dumb movie.

[25:47] Anyway, Limitless.

[25:49] So –

[25:50] It's a meta-commentary on storytelling, Elliot.

[25:52] No, it's not.

[25:53] It's poorly made.

[25:54] So he laps up his villain's blood, thus gaining his strength.

[25:58] It's iconic.

[25:59] I mean that's folklore.

[26:00] He also takes that photo of him.

[26:01] I mean that's Joseph Campbell right there.

Stuart Wellington

[26:03] I mean that's – yeah, at its most base level, he's ingesting this guy.

[26:08] Like he's becoming him.

[26:09] He's like a Wendigo.

[26:10] Yeah, it's very similar to a Wendigo.

Elliott Kalan

[26:12] Exactly, like a Wendigo.

[26:13] Where did Wendigo?

[26:15] Hi-oh!

[26:16] That's if the Marx Brothers ever had a joke about Wendigos.

[26:21] Anyway, for the one Marx Brothers movie that Algernon Blackwood wrote.

[26:26] Anyway, so Bradley Cooper laps up his enemy's blood.

[26:31] He beats up the other Russian thugs.

[26:33] And then 12 months later, which is literally what the movie says.

Dan McCoy

[26:38] Best and most unexpected title card since Bratz.

Elliott Kalan

[26:41] Since Bratz when 20 minutes into the movie it said two years later.

[26:45] Here it's almost the end of the movie.

[26:46] It says 12 months later.

[26:48] Not a year later.

[26:49] 12 months.

Stuart Wellington

[26:50] And what's 12 months in the life of somebody who's limitless?

[26:53] It's one year.

Elliott Kalan

[26:55] Oh, yeah.

[26:56] Well, it's enough for Bradley Cooper to come out of nowhere to be the ahead-of-the-pack candidate for senator from New York.

[27:03] All the signs in his –

Dan McCoy

[27:05] He's the Anthony Wiener of this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[27:08] Anthony Wiener worked for years building his career up.

[27:10] Nope.

[27:11] He lost it quickly.

[27:12] He didn't gain it quickly.

[27:13] He is the Anthony Wiener of the movie though.

[27:15] Anyway, so – no way.

[27:16] So all the signs in his campaign office say – his name is Maura, his last name.

[27:20] It says Maura for New York.

[27:23] But none of the signs say like for Senate.

[27:25] So you think he's running for the office of city.

[27:29] Like he's going to be the city of New York.

[27:30] Oh, okay.

[27:31] Anyway, so –

[27:33] Anyway, so –

[27:33] Yeah, I didn't get that part.

[27:35] That just bugged me.

[27:36] He's running for Senate and who walks into his office?

[27:40] Robert De Niro.

[27:42] His former boss.

Stuart Wellington

[27:43] And he knows all – he seems to know all about his magical NZT drug.

Elliott Kalan

[27:47] It turns out Robert De Niro knows about NZT and he's just bought the company that makes it.

[27:52] And he wants Bradley Cooper to be his puppet when he eventually becomes president.

[27:56] What?

[27:57] But Bradley Cooper's got a little ace up his sleeve.

[28:01] And what is that ace?

[28:02] That he reinvented NZT, made it better.

[28:06] Off camera.

[28:07] Stopped using it and is now – has now super powerful perception.

[28:12] Yeah, he's a super genius.

[28:12] So that he can predict that a car is about to bump into another car.

[28:16] He's wildly, mighty, super genius.

[28:18] And he touches Robert De Niro's chest and says, oh, your arteries are falling apart.

[28:23] You're going to have to replace those.

[28:24] Oh, well, I'm a Superman now.

[28:27] And that Robert De Niro can't outsmart him because he is limitless.

[28:31] And rather than have like –

Dan McCoy

[28:33] He doesn't own the company that makes that drug.

[28:34] Couldn't he just take that drug?

[28:36] Who, Robert De Niro?

[28:37] He doesn't want to be addicted to that drug.

Stuart Wellington

[28:38] Yeah, but he doesn't know the super version that Bradley Cooper used for a little while.

Elliott Kalan

[28:41] But once you take that drug –

Stuart Wellington

[28:43] Man or Superman.

[28:45] That's the question really.

[28:46] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[28:46] But once you take that drug, you're dependent on it.

Stuart Wellington

[28:49] Unlike most drugs where you take it for a little while and then you can just –

[28:52] And you're fine.

[28:53] As you want.

[28:53] Right?

[28:53] Just cool with it.

Elliott Kalan

[28:54] And then the last scene is literally Bradley Cooper goes to lunch with his girlfriend.

[28:59] And they're at a Chinese restaurant.

[29:00] And the waiter comes over and Bradley Cooper speaks to him in Chinese, which is kind of racist to assume the waiter doesn't speak.

[29:06] You speak English?

[29:07] The New York waiter.

[29:08] New York waiter.

[29:09] And then he makes the Chinese guy laugh with his Chinese joke.

[29:13] Sure.

[29:13] And when he walks away, Bradley Cooper looks at his girlfriend and goes, what?

[29:17] Credits roll.

[29:18] Yep.

[29:19] That is the last line of the movie.

[29:21] What?

Stuart Wellington

[29:22] It's like the end of They Live where the guy is like, hey, baby, what's wrong?

Dan McCoy

[29:26] What's wrong?

[29:27] That's right.

[29:27] As she stops having sex with him.

[29:29] My main problems with this movie.

[29:30] Because you're an alien face.

[29:32] Look, I mean like it's stupid.

[29:34] It's stupid the idea like, okay, this 20% of the brain like, yes.

[29:37] Your problem is not enough star power.

[29:40] Where's the late meester of this movie?

[29:42] It has Abby Cornish.

[29:43] Well, it has Abby Cornish.

[29:44] Where's Kim Gajanger?

[29:46] The woman.

[29:46] A woman I'm familiar with because she has a unique name, but I could not.

Elliott Kalan

[29:50] Abby Cornish of the Cornish game hen fortune.

[29:52] Yeah.

[29:53] Heiress to the Cornish game hen industry.

Dan McCoy

[29:55] I figured out how to shrink chickens.

Elliott Kalan

[29:59] And now I'm a millionaire.

[30:01] She's not like corn.

[30:02] She's corn-ish.

Dan McCoy

[30:05] All right.

[30:05] Anywho.

[30:06] Let's not belabor that.

[30:08] No, but I mean I'm fine with the premise of the movie because even though it's based on a stupid urban legend, like whatever.

[30:15] I'll accept that for the purposes of this movie.

[30:17] Yeah.

[30:18] What I'm angry about, if anything, in this movie is the missteps.

[30:24] Are you going to be okay?

[30:25] I mean you sound kind of mad.

Elliott Kalan

[30:26] No, the missteps.

[30:27] Take it down.

[30:28] Are you on NZT?

Dan McCoy

[30:28] The missteps our hero makes, like being the smartest person in the movie.

[30:33] Well, that's the thing.

[30:34] He says he does a lot of dumb stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[30:35] This is basically a movie about drugs where he does everything a drug user does, including make – exactly, the stupid mistakes that people make in drug movies.

[30:45] But you'd think he's super smart.

[30:47] At one point he says he has a four-digit IQ, which makes no sense.

[30:51] Like that – and at that point he can read people's minds I would imagine.

Stuart Wellington

[30:55] He's got some kind of gift for hyperbole at that point.

Elliott Kalan

[30:57] Yeah.

[30:58] His hyperbole is limitless.

[31:00] But yeah, but he makes these dumb mistakes like giving smart pills to a Russian mobster.

[31:05] Like not knowing how many pills he has on him at any given point.

[31:09] It takes him forever to decide to hire someone to make new pills for him.

[31:13] Yeah.

[31:14] Like I think he's down to like eight pills.

[31:16] It's – you know.

Dan McCoy

[31:18] Yeah.

[31:19] Like Stuart said, the first thing you do is you synthesize pills.

[31:21] You're not – like his rationale for giving it to the Russian mobster is like, this will get him off my back for a while.

[31:27] I was like, yes, make your enemy superpower.

Stuart Wellington

[31:30] Like I'm not even on that shit and I know I have a million more ideas to stop this Russian gangster.

[31:35] Yeah.

[31:36] Call the police for instance.

[31:38] Frame him for some kind of crime.

Elliott Kalan

[31:40] He's like, there are ways of getting rid of him.

[31:43] I'll give him pills.

[31:44] No, like hire someone to kill him or whatnot.

Dan McCoy

[31:46] Yeah, it's not like our hero has a lot of moral compunction.

[31:48] I mean he kills several people in the course of this film.

Elliott Kalan

[31:50] And he also sets a – sets up a macabre practical joke in his safe when he has two security guys who get killed by the Russian mobster and their hands are mailed to him.

[32:00] And he sets it up in his safe in his apartment so that the disembodied hands are there and one of them is giving the finger to the gangster who just opened the safe.

[32:07] Yeah.

[32:08] And you know he was – so he was crouching there like forcing these fingers into place because rigor mortis had –

[32:13] Yeah.

[32:13] Had just tightened them.

Stuart Wellington

[32:14] Maybe dipped them in tar or something for them to hold their position.

[32:18] To make a hand of liberty.

[32:19] Yeah, exactly.

[32:20] Hand of glory.

Elliott Kalan

[32:21] Hand of glory.

[32:22] It's OK.

[32:22] You can fuck it up if you want.

Stuart Wellington

[32:24] The other thing is that – so this – like the whole movie –

[32:27] Well, the hand of liberty is different.

[32:29] It feels like the entire movie the biggest problem he has is that he is trying to deal with his dependency on this drug.

[32:37] Yeah.

[32:38] And then the conclusion of the movie is it's like, yeah, you didn't see this but he was able to give up the drug and now he's even smarter than before.

[32:45] I kicked it.

[32:45] So it's cool.

Elliott Kalan

[32:46] It's like in A Beautiful Mind where he's crazy and the solution is for him to stop being crazy.

[32:51] I'll be honest.

[32:51] Just to decide to not be crazy anymore.

[32:53] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[32:53] I'll be honest.

[32:54] One of the things I liked about this movie is that it didn't have like a weird like false moralizing ending.

[32:59] It did not glorify having this limitless power for most of the movie.

[33:03] Yes, it did.

[33:04] And then being like, fuck – no, no, I'm saying like it didn't do that.

[33:06] Oh, I see.

[33:07] And then it was like, fuck you.

[33:08] We're going to take it away and the true moral is humanity.

[33:13] Like at the end of the movie it was like, no, he figured out a way to beat humanity and now he's limitless.

[33:18] Now he's Dr. Manhattan.

[33:19] Yeah, he's awesome.

[33:21] I mean like the only thing that kind of goes against that is Robert De Niro actually has a pretty good speech in the movie where he's like, you're a brat who's just throwing around his power like you didn't work for this.

[33:32] Like I worked my way up and now I understand the way human beings work.

[33:36] And I guess like –

Elliott Kalan

[33:38] But you know what?

[33:38] In the end of the day, he loses.

Stuart Wellington

[33:41] I guess at the end of the day like hard work doesn't matter.

[33:43] He's a dick.

[33:44] So it just counts.

[33:46] Well, he's not young and attractive like a hard body.

[33:49] Like Brad Ford Cooper with.

[33:51] Sure.

[33:52] Brad Lim Coopsy.

Elliott Kalan

[33:54] It's true.

[33:54] It's the self-made man versus the drug user.

[33:56] Hot body enough.

[33:58] I think after the movie Hard Bodies.

[34:00] That's after the movie Hard Bodies.

[34:00] Hard Bodies too, sure.

[34:01] It kind of fell out of favor.

[34:03] The same way people stopped saying Hot Dog the Movie after Hot Dog the Movie came out.

Dan McCoy

[34:08] Well, there was that confusion after Hot Dog the Movie came out about whether you wanted a hot dog or you wanted to go see Hot Dog the Movie.

Elliott Kalan

[34:13] Still, when you go to Nathan's sometimes, you'll give me a hot dog and they go, the food or the movie?

Dan McCoy

[34:17] Because we've got a bunch of DVDs back here.

[34:20] Honestly, we've been trying to get rid of them.

[34:22] No one wants them.

Stuart Wellington

[34:23] The weird thing is they don't even have a copy of that movie in stock.

Elliott Kalan

[34:29] That's a strange thing.

[34:30] It's just like when people got mixed up which wonton-ton it was.

[34:33] Is that wonton-ton the dog who saved Hollywood or is that a different wonton-ton?

[34:38] Is that Benji the hunted or a different Benji?

[34:42] Is it Oh Heavenly Dog or just regular Benji?

[34:46] Is that Ballistic X vs. Sever or is this a different X?

[34:54] Movies.

[34:55] But yeah, it's a – in the end, he beats the world.

[35:01] It almost – it feels like –

[35:02] Carter beats the devil.

[35:04] The book.

[35:05] What?

[35:05] I haven't read it.

[35:06] It's pretty good.

[35:07] Boy meets world.

Stuart Wellington

[35:08] Sure.

[35:09] So what were you saying before Dan interrupted you by being a dick?

[35:13] I don't even remember.

[35:14] Before he brought in what?

Elliott Kalan

[35:16] Your book club recommendation?

[35:17] Yeah, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[35:18] I don't have a movie recommendation this week.

[35:22] So yeah.

[35:22] We're not even at that part of the podcast yet.

[35:24] Oh my god.

Elliott Kalan

[35:25] I'm so turned around.

[35:26] Anyway, this is –

Dan McCoy

[35:26] Now you were saying the morality of this film is a little weird.

Elliott Kalan

[35:29] It just – it looks like it's setting you up for one thing and then it goes for the other,

[35:32] which is fine.

[35:33] But the end – but it does make it look like it's really easy to get off drugs.

[35:40] And also it's just like this is a guy who's cheated his way through everything.

[35:44] Which I guess I don't have a problem with him winning in a movie.

[35:46] He does – but there is a moment where he – so he – in one of his drug hazes, because what happens is also he starts blacking out and missing time.

[35:53] He goes to a party and picks up a model.

[35:55] She takes him to her hotel room.

[35:58] The next day – and then he wakes – he finds himself suddenly on the Brooklyn Bridge.

[36:01] He doesn't know how he got there.

[36:02] There's a news report the next day that says model found murdered in her hotel.

[36:07] This is never tied up.

[36:09] Like he just gets away with murdering this moment.

Stuart Wellington

[36:11] I was assuming it was that guy he thought he saw following him in the hotel hallway.

Elliott Kalan

[36:17] The guy who was chasing his girlfriend later?

[36:19] Yeah, the knife guy.

[36:20] But why would he kill that model?

[36:21] It doesn't make any sense.

[36:22] Knifey Kniferson.

[36:23] Knifey Kniferson.

[36:24] Yeah.

[36:24] She knew too much.

Stuart Wellington

[36:26] Yeah.

[36:26] Maybe she made fun of his penis size or something.

Elliott Kalan

[36:29] Wait.

[36:30] So he came in.

Stuart Wellington

[36:31] Yes.

[36:32] Seduced her.

[36:33] Continue.

[36:33] Yes.

[36:34] She made fun of his penis size.

[36:35] I mean it happens sometimes.

[36:37] I think you're thinking of the first scene of Unforgiven.

Elliott Kalan

[36:39] Sure.

[36:40] He stormed out.

[36:41] Said, no, I can handle this better.

[36:44] Stormed back in.

[36:44] They talked for a little while.

[36:46] They couldn't come to agreement.

[36:47] Stormed out again.

[36:48] Said, I'm just so mad.

[36:50] Stormed in.

[36:51] Stabbed her.

[36:51] Said, oh my god, what have I done?

[36:53] Walked out.

[36:54] Was going to call the police.

[36:55] Said, I'm going to be in trouble now.

[36:56] Walked back in.

Stuart Wellington

[36:57] He framed Limitless.

[36:58] Framed Limitless.

[37:00] By like spreading some pills all over the place.

[37:03] And a bunch of like, I don't know, books?

[37:05] Does he read books?

[37:06] He does sometimes.

Elliott Kalan

[37:08] He doesn't seem to have.

[37:10] Well, he has literally no limits.

[37:11] He has no life outside of the things he's doing.

[37:15] Like you never get a sense that Bradley Cooper's character exists as a character.

Stuart Wellington

[37:18] Okay.

[37:19] So he just sits in front of computer screens and reading like seven different monitors at one time.

Elliott Kalan

[37:24] Yes.

[37:24] We know he owns a basketball.

[37:26] We find that out earlier in the movie.

Dan McCoy

[37:27] He cares enough to write a science fiction book that apparently is also a social commentary but then doesn't care about writing another book after that ever.

[37:37] He writes it.

Elliott Kalan

[37:39] It's amazing.

[37:40] And then, again, we never hear it.

[37:41] There's a lot of dropped – it's almost like this person wrote the – the screenplay was written over the course of like five years.

[37:49] And it was like, oh, I got 20 pages written.

[37:51] I'll get back to this soon.

[37:52] Months pass.

[37:53] Oh, I'll write another 10 pages.

[37:54] And so like plot points get picked up and dropped as the movie goes along with not really any logic to them.

Stuart Wellington

[38:01] Like it's been kind of boring.

[38:02] We need an action scene here.

[38:03] How about he remembers movies he's seen and use those maneuvers to defeat his enemies?

Dan McCoy

[38:07] There is a weird sort of lack of cohesion.

[38:10] Like there is no story unity.

[38:12] It's like I guess at the end Robert De Niro is the villain of the piece in the sense that like he's like the last confrontation.

[38:21] But he doesn't really do anything serious to threaten Bradley Cooper in the movie.

[38:28] And the things that do threaten Bradley Cooper in the movie are things that he kind of brought on himself.

Elliott Kalan

[38:33] He brought all of them on himself.

Dan McCoy

[38:35] Just by being stupid throughout the film.

[38:37] He's limitless.

Elliott Kalan

[38:38] It's almost like his intelligence and his stupidity are both limitless.

[38:42] Yeah.

[38:43] He spends a lot of time like shopping for things and using like merchandise.

[38:48] It's one of the – there's a lot of movies now where like a lot – part of the joy of the movie I guess is seeing people live this like outlandishly big lifestyle.

[38:57] So like he's driving a sports car and then he's going shopping for a jacket and things like that that don't really apply to the plot but it's style stuff I guess.

[39:06] Isn't this the life you would lead if you were limitless?

[39:09] You'd be shopping for jackets all the time.

[39:11] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[39:12] And doing crunches.

[39:14] He does do crunches too.

[39:16] Stuart, you do a lot of crunches.

[39:17] You look good in a jacket.

[39:18] Yeah.

[39:19] I must be limitless.

[39:21] Not.

[39:23] What?

Dan McCoy

[39:23] It's a joke, guys.

[39:25] Burn.

Elliott Kalan

[39:25] So should we final judgment this bitch?

Dan McCoy

[39:27] We should final – we should judgment it up.

[39:31] I'm going to start.

[39:32] Oh, wow.

[39:33] Okay.

[39:34] Is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie or a movie I kind of liked?

[39:37] I got to say I kind of like this movie.

[39:39] I enjoyed it.

[39:40] I thought it had – it moved along in a good clip.

[39:44] It had some nice style.

[39:45] It was stupid but it didn't bore me.

[39:48] And I kind of found its lack of morality refreshing.

[39:51] I kind of enjoyed the fact that at the end it was like, fuck you.

[39:55] I'm limitless.

[39:56] You expected me to learn a lesson?

[39:58] I learned no lesson.

[39:59] I am awesome.

[40:01] So, I mean, you know, if you're at home, if you're bored, if this movie comes on, I would say totally watch this shit.

Elliott Kalan

[40:07] You know what?

[40:08] I hate to admit it but I agree with you because I hate agreeing with you.

[40:11] I also kind of liked it.

[40:12] This was a solid two, two-and-a-half star movie.

[40:15] Mm-hmm.

[40:16] Good for a rainy afternoon.

[40:18] Maybe you're sick from work.

[40:20] Maybe, I don't know, like a bootleg copy of it fell in your lap accidentally in the subway and nobody noticed.

[40:29] Then, you know, go home.

[40:30] If you have a moment, watch it while you're doing something else.

[40:34] But it does have – like there are a bunch of camera effects in it that are neat that are also stupid but neat.

Stuart Wellington

[40:40] Yeah, I mean it was for those reasons I was going to classify it as a good-bad movie.

[40:44] Like I can't justify and say that I actually enjoyed it that much but it was fun to sit around and make jokes about and talk about limitless stuff and how stupid the science of the whole thing is.

[40:56] I mean that's –

[40:56] And all the zooms.

Elliott Kalan

[40:57] Once you get over the fact that it's based on nonsense, like not real science, it's – I mean that should be more of a sticking point than it is I guess.

[41:06] But it goes to show if they have one big stupid thing, you can buy it, yeah, if it's at the beginning.

[41:10] Yeah.

[41:10] Maybe you're right.

[41:11] Maybe Steve Martin is right.

[41:12] Maybe he has something.

Dan McCoy

[41:14] Yeah.

[41:15] Put all your chips on one stupid thing and then the other stupid things maybe you should work on a little bit more limitless.

Elliott Kalan

[41:21] I guess if I can watch The Exorcist and suspend my disbelief that the devil exists for two hours, then I can suspend my disbelief about how the brain works.

[41:29] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[41:30] So letters?

[41:32] I've got some letters from listeners here.

[41:34] Some past movie movies.

[41:35] Little bears.

[41:36] We've got some great ones.

[41:37] We had dueling jingle titles.

[41:39] You've got some great ones.

[41:41] We should probably speed through this a little bit.

Elliott Kalan

[41:43] Speed through this.

[41:45] A little bit.

Dan McCoy

[41:46] This one is from Micah by way of the porthole of time.

[41:50] Micah.

[41:51] Porthole of time.

[41:52] He says, I am a new listener who heard about you from the AV Club.

[41:55] Yes.

[41:56] In a short amount of time since then, I've managed to listen to almost all of your back catalog.

[42:00] Completist.

[42:01] A flop binge, if you will.

[42:03] And couldn't stop laughing at the inside jokes bit in the I'm number four podcast.

[42:08] And then he badmouths, how does this get made?

[42:11] Well, I've cut it out.

[42:12] I don't need to belabor that.

Elliott Kalan

[42:14] We appreciate that people like us more than how did this get made.

[42:17] And please do send us letters about how much you like us more than how did this get made.

[42:21] But you understand.

[42:22] We don't want to gloat over it.

[42:24] The fact that we're now blowing up superstars.

Stuart Wellington

[42:26] What's, uh, what's, uh, how does, how did this get made?

[42:28] It's a podcast.

Dan McCoy

[42:29] But he says, listening to you guys is a complete 180.

[42:32] Your self-awareness and honesty comes through and makes it a joy to listen to.

[42:35] From Elliot's wonderfully deep esoteric knowledge, Stuart's ability to derail any train of thought.

[42:42] He's like the penny on the tracks of the mind.

[42:44] And Dan's unflappable Leonardo skills with a side of sigh.

[42:48] You talk to your audience as equals, inviting us to enjoy camaraderie and friendship evident

[42:53] between you.

[42:53] It was difficult to listen to how did this get made after listening to the flop house.

[42:57] I thought you weren't going to read any how did this get made slams.

[43:01] I'm just saying.

[43:01] It was a partial slam, partial, uh, congratulations.

Elliott Kalan

[43:06] Partial slam.

Dan McCoy

[43:08] Uh, he, he's advocating for a podcast war again.

[43:12] That seems crazy.

[43:13] Look.

[43:14] A podcast war.

[43:15] What even happens in that?

[43:16] There's no winners in that.

[43:17] Only losers.

[43:18] Except us if we win.

[43:19] No, no, no, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[43:20] Come on, Dan, be limitless.

[43:21] What would limitless do?

Dan McCoy

[43:22] It's a funny sort of game.

[43:24] The only way to win is not to play.

[43:26] All right?

[43:27] If, if limitless was doing this, he would totally do it.

Stuart Wellington

[43:29] If he was involved, he would come up with a secret thing that nobody else knew about it.

[43:32] Do that and then win.

[43:34] Let's do it like limitless.

[43:36] Okay.

[43:36] Let's do it limitless style.

Dan McCoy

[43:38] Ultimate limitless style.

[43:39] So get some drugs.

[43:41] No, I just want to read that.

[43:42] I like that.

[43:42] That's, that's, that's a warm up.

[43:43] That was a nice compliment.

[43:45] Thanks very much, Micah.

Elliott Kalan

[43:47] We appreciate, we're glad you like the show so much.

[43:49] So, uh, but, uh.

[43:50] Now on to the slams.

Dan McCoy

[43:52] Move on.

[43:53] Ryan, last name withheld, says, I don't think any of us can predict how we will die.

[43:58] Well, limitless probably could, but.

[44:00] Yeah.

[44:01] He'll, he'll never die.

Stuart Wellington

[44:02] Na doi.

Dan McCoy

[44:03] Uh, I'm thinking, I'm thinking for me it may involve an aggressive badger.

[44:08] I say this because, frankly, I thought.

[44:10] Because my job is removing badgers from things.

Elliott Kalan

[44:13] Frankly, my local badger.

Dan McCoy

[44:16] I owe some money to a Russian badger.

[44:18] Frankly, I thought the badger.

[44:20] And I'm not going to pay it back.

[44:22] Would come for me long before I found a podcast like the Flophouse.

[44:25] Yes.

[44:26] The three of you radiate blinding brilliance.

[44:29] Like a diamond light bulb over some sink in heaven.

[44:32] Wow.

Elliott Kalan

[44:34] That was the most beautiful metaphor I've ever heard.

Dan McCoy

[44:37] Before this becomes one of those gushing emails you guys must get so many of.

[44:41] Nope.

[44:42] Not that many.

[44:43] I have a serious question for each of you.

[44:45] Unliked.

[44:47] So, uh, I'm going to read all of the questions and then we can go back.

[44:50] Okay.

[44:50] But it says, uh, Dan, what advice would you give to someone who wants to do the things you

[44:54] do besides try something else and sigh?

[44:56] Why would anyone want to do the things you do?

[44:57] Stuart.

[44:58] What?

[44:58] A podcast deep in the archive seems to suggest you may be a fan of the incredible fantasy

[45:04] tabletop game Blood Bowl.

[45:07] If so, please share some information about your team and how awesome they are.

[45:11] Do you think they could beat my team, the Dwarf and the Senate subcommittee?

[45:14] Probably.

[45:15] And Elliot, please speak for as long as Dan will allow about your favorite Ninja Turtle

[45:21] as well as the history of who among the brothers has held this position over the course of your life.

[45:26] Wait, they're brothers?

[45:28] Hold on.

[45:28] Yeah, they're brothers.

[45:29] Back up.

[45:29] Under the shell.

[45:31] So first of all, how to do what I do, uh, I'm not sure why you would want to.

[45:35] I've only been, uh, arguably successful for the past two months.

Elliott Kalan

[45:40] You've been very successful.

[45:41] Look at you.

[45:41] Nice looking boy.

[45:43] Married.

[45:44] Living in Brooklyn.

[45:44] Yeah, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[45:45] You're totally married to the woman of your dreams.

[45:47] Yeah, come on.

[45:48] No, okay.

[45:49] Your success has been limitless.

Dan McCoy

[45:50] Limitless.

[45:51] It's a callback.

Stuart Wellington

[45:52] It's not a callback.

[45:53] Yeah, it is.

[45:53] That's what we're talking about, right?

Dan McCoy

[45:54] If you're asking about podcasts, I would say go back in time.

[45:59] I have, uh, four or five years to when podcasts were relatively new and, uh, start up a podcast about bad movies.

Elliott Kalan

[46:08] What a great instructions.

[46:09] How to start a podcast.

[46:10] One, start a podcast.

[46:12] Uh, yeah, no, I don't, I, you know, you clearly thought this one through before.

Dan McCoy

[46:16] Yeah, Dan, you, the only one of us who's read these before and you have the worst answer.

[46:20] You can hit your star to, um, uh, a friend of yours with a deep, resonant voice and another friend of yours who carries all the star power of being a writer on a television show.

[46:34] Which is very little star power.

Elliott Kalan

[46:35] Double burn.

Dan McCoy

[46:36] For our successes.

[46:38] Yeah, I guess that's how to become like me, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[46:41] Here's how you become like Dan.

[46:43] Two steps.

[46:44] Mm-hmm.

[46:45] You keep your feet on the ground.

[46:46] Step one.

[46:47] Okay.

[46:47] Step two, you keep reaching for the stars.

[46:49] Yeah, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[46:50] Head in the clouds.

Elliott Kalan

[46:51] Wait.

[46:51] And you know who you say, what you say?

[46:53] Say, I am limitless.

[46:56] When do you say that?

[46:57] Like.

[46:58] All the time.

Stuart Wellington

[46:58] Well, it's like an affirmation.

[47:00] Yeah.

[47:00] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[47:01] Sure.

[47:02] It's a deformation.

[47:02] Your blood bowl.

Stuart Wellington

[47:04] No, I'll be, I'll be happy to answer all that, all the, that information in a private message.

Dan McCoy

[47:10] Whoa.

Stuart Wellington

[47:11] Yeah, it's just for me.

[47:12] Setting up a rendezvous.

[47:12] What's this guy's name?

Dan McCoy

[47:14] Ryan, last name withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[47:15] Me and Ryan, last name withheld, will have a private message.

[47:18] Ooh, sexy.

Elliott Kalan

[47:19] Ladies, wouldn't you like to have a private message about blood bowl?

Stuart Wellington

[47:23] I think they would.

[47:24] With Stuart?

[47:25] Just send me another letter.

[47:28] Okay, Elliot, you're, you're one.

Elliott Kalan

[47:29] So, my favorite Ninja Turtles, this is easy.

[47:31] All right, when I was a kid, obviously Donatello, because he was the smartest, he invented things,

[47:36] didn't care for the color purple, not my favorite color.

[47:39] It's so regal, though.

[47:40] It's regal, but I didn't know that as a kid.

[47:42] I just thought of it as kind of like a girly color.

[47:44] And the only color I liked less of the Ninja Turtles was orange.

[47:47] I wish Donatello was blue, because blue is the best color, but Donatello, but Leonardo

[47:51] has blue and Leonardo's boring.

[47:53] That's why Dan is the Leonardo of the group.

[47:55] But Donatello's my favorite, because he was the smartest.

[47:57] Then, as I got older, Raphael became my favorite.

[48:01] Why?

[48:01] Because he doesn't take nothing from nobody.

[48:03] Okay, well, it says, don't speak for as long as Dan will allow you, and that's the longest

Dan McCoy

[48:06] I will allow you.

[48:07] He carries size, and size are totally cooler than a bo staff.

[48:10] Thank you, Ryan.

[48:12] Last name withheld.

[48:16] This email is called, a ringing endorsement for Flophouse Live events.

[48:21] And this is an epic one.

Stuart Wellington

[48:24] This is directed to Elliot.

Dan McCoy

[48:26] This is from...

[48:27] And it says, please tell us more about the Ninja Turtles.

[48:29] This is from James, last name withheld.

[48:32] He says, I'm a relatively new convert to the program, but it has quickly become my go-to

[48:37] antidote for my nine-to-five office job blues.

[48:41] Yes!

[48:41] I believe I've burned through the entirety of the back catalog and have become well acquainted

[48:45] with such gems as Rocket Crocodile and the World of Tomorrow.

[48:49] Oh, I forgot about that guaranteed Shorewire winner pitch.

[48:51] Million Dollar Getaway, Dan's Militia of Hook-Handed Separatists, and of course, the Flophouse

[48:57] Housecat.

[48:58] Living in Brooklyn myself, I got my sorry old bones over to 92Y Tribeca for the live Flophouse

[49:04] showing of Twin Sitters.

[49:06] Rawr!

Elliott Kalan

[49:07] It's a little late, Housecat.

Dan McCoy

[49:09] Housecat, you missed your cue.

[49:10] I didn't go and get it.

[49:13] Now, I should mention that I've met all of you fine gentlemen in person at one point or

[49:19] another since becoming a fan of the show.

[49:21] When I spotted Mr. Wellington waiting in line for beer at the concession stand, I promptly

[49:27] reintroduced myself as James, explaining that we had met briefly once before and that I

[49:32] was a big Flophouse fan.

[49:34] We traded some small talk about the theater and Twin Sitters before Stuart looked me very

[49:39] earnestly in the eye and called me Steve.

[49:42] Yes!

[49:43] I look forward to the day I can tell my future children that Mr. Stuart Wellington himself

[49:49] called me by name.

[49:51] Not my name, of course, but a name, nonetheless.

Elliott Kalan

[49:54] A name.

[49:55] Anyway, the movie showing itself was a blast.

Dan McCoy

[50:01] You were all very funny and Twin Sitters proved to be everything I hoped for in its unabashed

[50:06] insanity.

[50:07] The hilarious slideshow presentation, trivia rounds, and interview session with your wonderful

[50:11] ladies was icing on the cake.

[50:13] I'd like to mention that I also very much appreciate the recommendations portion of the show.

[50:17] I've watched Frozen, Black Death, Centurion, and Election on your collective recommendation

[50:22] and look forward to loading up on Sin Nombre soon.

[50:26] I think you might be disappointed after all those other movies, but a different kind of film.

Stuart Wellington

[50:30] Most of those were my recommendations, by the way.

[50:33] Steve?

[50:34] The election was broken, though.

Dan McCoy

[50:36] There's nothing quite like watching a man's head explode like some sort of bizarre meat-stuffed

[50:42] watermelon a la Centurion or idiot frat boys being devoured by the most insanely ravenous

[50:46] wolves in recent film history in Frozen.

[50:49] That's really awesome.

[50:50] Keeping with the ridiculously gory theme, I stumbled upon a recent Korean film called

[50:54] I Saw the Devil on Netflix Instant.

[50:56] Man, this guy's got his own podcast.

[50:58] It features the lead from Oldboy.

[50:59] It's called our letter section.

[51:01] Oh, really?

[51:01] As the most disturbing serial killer I've ever seen since Anton Chigurh.

[51:06] The film is shockingly violent, and while I typically prefer my violence to be over-the-top

[51:10] and comical, I still find myself compelled to finish the film.

[51:15] No ding-dongs are ripped off, and no one is insulted with a submarine sandwich.

[51:20] But if you're looking for a violent revenge flick, it might be worth your time.

[51:23] Keep up the good work.

Elliott Kalan

[51:24] So thank you, James.

[51:26] Thanks for that novel.

Stuart Wellington

[51:27] Thanks, James.

[51:28] I gotta apologize.

[51:30] You caught me after a couple of beers and being nervous for doing a live show.

[51:34] I'd had a couple of beers before the show.

[51:36] Stuart was very nervous before the show.

[51:36] Yeah, I'd had like two or three beers.

[51:39] Unlike these guys, I don't do comedy stuff, so I was a little nervous.

[51:45] I can understand that.

Elliott Kalan

[51:48] Danielle, my wife, was so nervous that she actually drank an entire bottle of Jim Beam.

[51:54] That did not happen, but I would love to see that.

Stuart Wellington

[51:56] What's Jim Beam?

[51:57] It's just a guy.

[51:58] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[52:00] She drank a bottle of some guy.

[52:02] Yes.

[52:03] No, she didn't drink at all.

Stuart Wellington

[52:04] So that was a lovely letter.

[52:06] Mm-hmm.

[52:06] And that's a recommendation I was planning on checking out at some point.

[52:09] So thanks, James.

Elliott Kalan

[52:10] Yeah, I remember when that was in the theaters, and I missed it, and I was unhappy about it.

Dan McCoy

[52:14] It's on my Netflix watch, Instant Q.

Stuart Wellington

[52:16] So you're one step ahead of us.

[52:18] Thanks, dude.

[52:18] Why don't we continue?

[52:19] Head to one-up us.

Elliott Kalan

[52:21] Does that make you feel like a big man, Limitless?

Dan McCoy

[52:23] A little bit.

[52:25] The final letter of the evening is...

[52:29] Final letter.

[52:31] It's from Maggie, last name withheld.

[52:33] Simpson.

[52:34] Sounds like a girl.

[52:35] And it says,

[52:36] Dear members of the House of Flop,

[52:39] Since you ignored my recent request that you review love and other drugs for my husband,

[52:46] Lieutenant, last name withheld...

[52:47] Was that a request?

[52:48] I don't remember that one.

[52:49] Look, let me finish this email.

Elliott Kalan

[52:51] I think what happened, Dan didn't pass along.

[52:53] Let's...

[52:53] Very likely.

[52:54] Let me finish this email.

Dan McCoy

[52:55] Let's blame the messenger.

[52:55] You know that, yeah.

[52:57] There are people listening to this podcast, so if you don't interrupt...

[53:00] No, there aren't.

[53:01] It'll be easier to follow for those people.

[53:03] All right.

[53:03] Since you ignored my recent request that you review love and other drugs for my husband,

[53:08] Lieutenant, last name withheld...

[53:09] I don't remember that.

[53:10] ...in Iraq, I've decided to scale down my terms.

[53:15] Well, it'd be awesome if you would review love and other drugs,

[53:17] which both myself and Lieutenant, last name withheld, hated.

[53:21] I will be satisfied if he merely gets a shout-out at some point during your next review.

[53:25] It would help tip the scales in favor of...

[53:28] Sorry, if it would help tip the scales.

[53:30] As it be known to the cognoscenti, L-A-O-D has Anne Hathaway naked like 89% of the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[53:43] That's a huge percentage.

[53:44] That's going to make L.A. really uncomfortable.

[53:46] They're like BFFs, right?

[53:47] Yeah.

[53:47] I'm sorry.

Elliott Kalan

[53:48] I mean, I've seen her naked because we've changed in front of each other, so...

[53:50] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[53:51] You guys shower together as kids.

Dan McCoy

[53:53] I'm sorry.

[53:54] This is my fault that I did not present Anne Hathaway...

Elliott Kalan

[53:59] This is a request for a woman's husband in Iraq.

[54:03] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[54:04] Here's the problem.

[54:06] I've seen Love and Other Drugs starring Elliot's BFF, Anne Hathaway.

[54:12] Yeah, best friend.

[54:13] Briefly married.

[54:15] Nude for...

[54:16] It's pretty accurate.

[54:17] I mean, I presented the movie.

[54:19] I've seen the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[54:20] How many times did the movie take place at a nudist colony?

[54:22] Like, are they always in the shower?

[54:23] How does that happen?

Dan McCoy

[54:25] It's a movie about Viagra and about ladies and gentlemen fucking.

[54:33] And I enjoy...

[54:35] Here's the thing.

Elliott Kalan

[54:35] You made that sound really weird.

[54:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[54:37] Like that's never been in a movie before.

[54:39] Yeah.

[54:40] I got this email from this fine lady.

[54:45] I read Love and Other Drugs.

[54:46] You read it?

[54:48] I saw that title in the email.

[54:50] Oh.

[54:51] I thought to myself, I've seen this movie.

[54:54] I did not read further.

[54:56] I admit it.

[54:56] It's my problem.

[54:58] That's something you should know about Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[54:59] As soon as he reads the name of the movie he's seen before, he stops reading anything.

[55:02] I think what happened was he read the email and was like,

[55:04] wait a minute, she's naked in this movie?

[55:05] I'm going to go watch it on my own for some private...

[55:08] I'm going to have some private...

Elliott Kalan

[55:10] My own flop house, if you know what I mean.

[55:11] My own private time in that I watched it with my wife.

[55:15] Well, hey, TMI.

[55:16] Whoa, yeah, exactly.

[55:17] I don't need to know what you guys do in your spare time, but tell me.

[55:20] No, but...

Dan McCoy

[55:20] No, we watched it.

[55:22] I have to admit, I did not hate the movie.

[55:25] I thought it had its problems.

[55:27] Didn't hate it.

[55:28] Which, well, you didn't hate the love, but what about the other drugs?

Elliott Kalan

[55:31] The other drugs were not great.

[55:32] Was one of the drugs MCT from Limitless?

Stuart Wellington

[55:33] So what you're saying is that not only are you not going to fulfill her desire by us watching

[55:38] this movie and making fun of it, but you're also saying she's wrong.

[55:41] And you're not even going to make it...

[55:42] This is not what I'm saying.

Dan McCoy

[55:43] You're not even going to give her husband a shout out.

[55:45] Yet again.

[55:46] You replaced his name with name withheld.

[55:48] All right, no.

[55:49] First of all, she called him Lieutenant Last Name Withheld.

[55:52] Oh, okay.

[55:53] Secondly, you guys, as usual, are interrupting me before I get to my point.

Elliott Kalan

[55:58] Are you surprised?

Dan McCoy

[56:00] Okay, continue.

[56:01] I am...

[56:02] This is my mea culpa.

[56:04] I should have read further and gotten more into this.

[56:09] However, the thing is, I've seen this movie.

[56:11] Mm-hmm.

[56:12] I didn't entirely hate this movie.

[56:14] I thought it had its problems, but I thought it was okay.

[56:16] But here's what I'm going to say.

[56:18] Because we've had no entries into our last ill-defined Flophouse contest...

[56:24] I didn't even remember we had a contest.

[56:25] Which one was this?

[56:27] I think that was promote the Flophouse.

[56:28] And nobody did.

Elliott Kalan

[56:29] Well, I guess the AV Club wins.

Dan McCoy

[56:31] Yeah.

[56:32] Well, I mean, if Christian Williams wants to claim his prize, then he can.

[56:35] Is that the guy from the AV Club?

[56:37] I think it is.

[56:38] I mean, he's the guy who I know has listened to the podcast before.

[56:42] So I assume that that's the guy.

[56:43] I thought...

Elliott Kalan

[56:44] I assumed it was AV Club, the guy who writes all the articles in the AV Club.

[56:47] Andrew...

[56:47] Velasquez.

[56:49] Velasquez Club.

Dan McCoy

[56:52] No, but here's what I'm going to say.

[56:56] Flophouse honors the troops.

[56:58] Of course we do.

[56:58] In lieu of that contest that didn't go anywhere,

[57:02] Lieutenant Last Name Withheld should submit three possible movies for the Flophouse to cover.

[57:09] And like our last contest where we covered Teen Witch,

[57:13] it shouldn't be necessarily something new.

[57:16] It could be any movie.

[57:17] It could be any movie he wants.

Stuart Wellington

[57:19] So what he can do is he can submit three movies,

[57:22] and then you will complain about the three he says.

[57:27] We'll discuss the three.

[57:29] We'll discuss the three.

[57:30] We'll come up with the one.

[57:31] Suggest one or two that you want to watch.

[57:32] That we want.

Dan McCoy

[57:34] One of them will be Teen Witch.

[57:35] And then we will do that film.

Elliott Kalan

[57:39] Yes, sir.

[57:40] Lieutenant Last Name Withheld,

[57:42] we will see the movie you recommend.

[57:44] Give us three or one.

[57:45] In honor of your service,

Dan McCoy

[57:47] we will make fun of a terrible film for you.

[57:50] Yes.

Stuart Wellington

[57:50] Or it might be a movie we actually kind of like.

Elliott Kalan

[57:54] I apologize ahead of time if it's a movie we end up actually kind of liking.

Dan McCoy

[57:57] Yeah, but we'll still, you know,

[57:59] there'll still be entertainment in it.

Elliott Kalan

[58:00] We actually kind of like Limitless.

[58:02] And we still tore it a new hole.

[58:04] Yeah.

[58:04] A new Limitless hole.

[58:06] So guys.

[58:07] So now what do we do?

Dan McCoy

[58:08] Well, I mean,

[58:09] do you really want to make recommendations,

[58:12] or do you want to just call it a night?

[58:13] I watched The Relic yesterday,

[58:15] and it wasn't very good, so.

[58:16] So you're recommending not to watch The Relic?

Elliott Kalan

[58:18] I mean, I wouldn't watch that.

Dan McCoy

[58:20] I watched the first half hour of Fallen Idol,

[58:23] the Carol Reed film,

[58:25] and then the Netflix disc crapped out on me.

[58:28] So it was pretty awesome until then.

Stuart Wellington

[58:31] Recommendation for Netflix?

Dan McCoy

[58:32] I'll recommend the first 30 minutes of Fallen Idol.

Elliott Kalan

[58:35] Well, I will recommend,

[58:36] this is just for a special group out there.

[58:37] I've watched all but the last 15 minutes or so of this movie.

[58:40] It's called The Half Naked Truth.

[58:41] It's from the 30s.

[58:42] If you ever wanted to see fat character actor Eugene Pallett with his shirt off,

[58:46] this is the movie to see him in.

[58:48] He played Friar Tuck in the Errol Flynn Robin Hood.

[58:51] You may know him as Barbara Stanwyck's dad in The Lady Eve, among other things.

[58:58] Ever wanted to see what he looks like with no shirt on?

[59:01] The Half Naked Truth, starring Lee Tracy and Lupe Velez, is the movie to see.

Stuart Wellington

[59:06] Wow.

[59:06] So three recommendations.

[59:08] Three great recommendations, guys.

Dan McCoy

[59:11] We still got it, guys.

Stuart Wellington

[59:12] We still got it.

Dan McCoy

[59:13] Oh, have we ever?

[59:14] Three years has been four years.

[59:16] We're not letting our success ruin our longstanding inability to do this.

[59:24] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[59:25] Cue fart sound effect and see you guys later.

Dan McCoy

[59:28] So I guess we should sign off.

Stuart Wellington

[59:31] What do you think?

[59:32] Why are you looking at me?

[59:33] Why don't you look at Elliot?

[59:34] He's talking to Elliot.

[59:35] What do you think?

Elliott Kalan

[59:36] WWLD.

[59:36] What would Limitless do?

[59:37] Yeah, he'd probably end the podcast here.

[59:39] Okay, guys.

Dan McCoy

[59:40] In that case, I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[59:43] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[59:44] I have been Elliot.

[59:45] Last name withheld.

[59:46] The last name's Caitlin.

[59:48] Good night, everyone.

[59:52] Limitless!

[59:53] Limitless!

[1:00:00] Lulu.

[1:00:01] Test it up.

[1:00:02] Test.

[1:00:03] Basemaster.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:04] Somebody's stealing all the world's base.

[1:00:07] Base.

[1:00:09] Stealing all the world's fish.

[1:00:11] Beasts.

[1:00:12] Beasts.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:14] The porthole of time.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:15] Beasts would don't get us started on portholes.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:18] It's a normal distance from the microphones, I think.

The Flop House: Episode #85 - Limitless

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