The Flop House: Episode #90 - Red Riding Hood

[0:00] To everything there is a season, and unfortunately, Shocktober is coming to a close,

[0:05] but not before we take on the porn for teenage goth girls fantasy, Red Riding Hood.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:47] That sound is Stuart Wellington.

[0:51] Hey, that's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:53] The person who was just talking was Dan McCoy.

[0:56] And this is Elliot Kalin listening to both of them.

[0:59] And wait, what do we have here?

[1:01] Stuart, directly to your left.

[1:03] There's a fourth person in the room, and he's going to talk tonight.

[1:07] Introduce yourself.

[1:08] Hi.

[1:09] That implies, Stuart, you implied like we have a fourth person here usually who doesn't talk.

[1:13] Yeah.

[1:14] No, I mean, sometimes Dan's wife's in here looking at us scornfully, irritated that we're still in her apartment.

[1:20] That's very true.

[1:21] That's very true.

[1:22] Or Dan's cat is playing with the wires trying to fuck up our podcast by playing her air horn and reggaeton music.

[1:28] That was the cat the whole time?

[1:29] Yeah, that was right.

[1:30] I never realized that.

[1:32] Stuart, explain.

[1:33] Trying to impress the Flophouse house cat, no doubt.

[1:35] Yeah, I understand.

[1:36] And sailing.

[1:39] Why don't you explain to us who your mysterious guest is?

[1:42] Okay.

[1:43] Well, the guy sitting to my left is a friend of mine, Alex Smith.

[1:48] He's going to be the best man at my upcoming wedding.

[1:50] He's literally the best man you know, the best man you know.

[1:53] Top dog.

[1:54] Highest quality.

[1:56] There are two other men in this room right now, and he is better than both of them.

[2:00] Champion.

[2:01] The best person, the best man.

[2:03] Not as good at being a pervazoid as you, Dan.

[2:05] Okay, thank you.

[2:06] Pervazoid number one.

[2:07] And not as racist as Elliot.

[2:08] No, I'm not the racist one.

[2:10] Dan's the racist one.

[2:11] You're the sexist one.

[2:12] No, no, no, no, no, no.

[2:13] No, you're the homophobe.

[2:14] No, that's Dan.

[2:15] Racist was the negative thing we tried to stick on you.

[2:17] And it didn't work because I love all peoples.

[2:19] And Stu's the party animal.

[2:21] He's hilarious.

[2:22] Yeah, that's his cross to bear.

[2:24] Is being a hilarious party animal.

[2:26] It's lost me more friends than one.

[2:29] Dan is a hook-handed homophobic pervazoid, number one.

[2:33] So, Alex, you've been mentioned on the podcast before.

[2:37] I plugged one of your records.

[2:39] You were one of the first web promoters of us.

[2:42] I think you put links to this podcast when we were, you know, just coming out.

[2:48] Just coming up.

[2:49] Just knee high to a pot hopper.

[2:51] Let's wait.

[2:53] Yeah.

[2:54] It's a common expression.

[2:55] Describe yourself.

[2:58] I don't know.

[2:59] You look like David Spade.

[3:04] You're a musician.

[3:06] Yep.

[3:07] You're a podcaster.

[3:08] I'm a podcaster.

[3:09] I have a little podcast that just started.

[3:12] We've only got, I think we'll have like five episodes.

[3:14] It's called Spadecast.

[3:15] It's called Hollywood Minute.

[3:18] It's called Shelby's Show.

[3:20] It's called Probably Not.

[3:23] It's an audio advice column.

[3:27] And people can write in, yeah?

[3:28] Yeah, yeah.

[3:29] People can write in.

[3:30] We'll answer their questions.

[3:31] But people haven't written in yet?

[3:33] No.

[3:34] Tons of people have written in.

[3:35] Okay.

[3:36] Tons of people have written in.

[3:37] It's really successful.

[3:38] Okay.

[3:39] So, by the time people listen to this.

[3:40] You must be pulling in, what, high six figures off of that podcast already.

[3:43] Yeah.

[3:44] Yeah.

[3:45] It's doing really well.

[3:47] So, congratulations.

[3:48] You don't even need to plug it in.

[3:49] Yeah.

[3:50] I mean, now you're just rubbing my face.

[3:52] If anything, you want to tell people not to go to it because you're crashing servers globally.

[3:56] Yeah.

[3:57] With the listener levels.

[3:58] Mm-hmm.

[3:59] Listener levels.

[4:03] Is that alliteration time?

[4:05] I just wanted to get in on the conversation.

[4:07] Sure.

[4:08] So, Dan, what would you like to talk about?

[4:11] You want to break down what we do here?

[4:13] We never actually said my name.

[4:15] Yeah.

[4:16] I said Alex.

[4:17] Okay.

[4:18] We'll leave it there.

[4:19] Alexander Smith.

[4:20] Yeah.

[4:21] Is that better?

[4:22] Alex Smith is fine.

[4:23] Okay.

[4:24] That's cool.

[4:25] Host of Probably Not.

[4:26] Host of Probably Not and Frontman?

[4:28] You want to say Frontman?

[4:29] Let's say Frontman of the band Lydia Burrell.

[4:31] Charismatic Frontman.

[4:32] Yeah.

[4:33] That's a good description of it.

[4:35] Troubled Frontman.

[4:36] Yeah.

[4:37] Drug-addled Frontman.

[4:39] Yep.

[4:40] Comatose Frontman.

[4:42] Yeah.

[4:44] Dearly departed Frontman.

[4:45] Lydia Burrell.

[4:46] Dearly missed.

[4:47] Where can people find your records?

[4:49] Well, you can go to Removerdoor.com.

[4:51] That sounds made up.

[4:53] Or you can go to iTunes or Amazon.com.

[4:57] That's also sound made up.

[4:58] Yep.

[4:59] Those are both.

[5:00] Thank you, Stuart.

[5:01] Wow, this is a rowdy bunch tonight.

[5:02] Why are we so rowdy all of a sudden?

[5:04] There's a reason why people don't do plugs right off the bat, right?

[5:07] Isn't there a reason for that?

[5:09] Yeah, we don't take them seriously until Dan and Stuart and I are too tired to interrupt them.

[5:14] I think you're supposed to actually.

[5:15] I forgot what the fuck we do in this thing, okay?

[5:17] I think you're supposed to entertain people first and then do sort of shallow plugs.

[5:21] Oh, we never entertain people.

[5:22] I've been driving more than normal, and I think that's a bad idea right now.

[5:26] Have you been driving angry?

[5:27] 3D?

[5:28] Well, tonight I have been.

[5:30] I don't know what that means.

[5:32] I really don't understand that.

[5:33] It's self-explanatory.

[5:34] Okay.

[5:36] It means you came from hell to stop a guy, just like Nicholas Cage.

[5:39] Were you trying to set up that we were all at Stuart's bachelor party?

[5:42] Is that what you were trying to do?

[5:43] Nope.

[5:44] I was hinting at that and just trying to get this show on the road.

[5:47] Okay.

[5:48] Much like the road we were on at Stuart's bachelor party when we went to Dr. Glenn Burney.

[5:53] MD.

[5:54] Glenn Burney, Maryland.

[5:56] So at the Flophouse podcast, we talk about Stuart's bachelor party.

[6:03] Not a lot of – I would imagine there would be a lot of listeners for something like that.

[6:08] I mean, you'd think we'd have some crazy stories.

[6:10] We don't really.

[6:11] No.

[6:12] The hooker casualty count was surprisingly low, zero.

[6:14] Shockingly low.

[6:15] Zero.

[6:16] Elliot shot a gun the size of his head.

[6:18] It wasn't the size of my head.

[6:19] Yeah, you're trying to make people imagine it.

[6:21] I mean, at the very least it wasn't the shape of my head.

[6:24] No, but that was the length of your head.

[6:26] I don't think so.

[6:28] I don't think that's accurate.

[6:30] I mean, it was long.

[6:32] But I didn't see him in profile or anything.

[6:36] I shot a gun into a thing.

[6:39] Yep.

[6:40] What that thing was, let's not say.

[6:42] Sure.

[6:43] I saw Elliot drink multiple beers.

[6:45] I had multiple beers.

[6:46] Yeah, I do think that might be the first time I've seen Elliot drink more than one beer.

[6:49] Yeah.

[6:50] Normally we keep a tally and we actually had to make more than one mark.

[6:54] The odometer goes up to one and then it turns over.

[6:59] So normally we watch a movie and then talk about it.

[7:05] What did we watch tonight, guys?

[7:07] Not at bachelor parties, of course, at the podcast.

[7:10] I'm surprised we didn't watch a movie at the bachelor party.

[7:12] I'm kind of surprised, too.

[7:15] Dan was comparing gun length to head length.

[7:18] I mean, Real Steel is in the theaters right now.

[7:20] Yeah.

[7:21] We could have easily gone to see Real Steel.

[7:22] It's about boxing robots.

[7:23] Huge Ackman is in it.

[7:25] Wolverine, right?

[7:26] Wolverine.

[7:27] Yeah, Logan is in it.

[7:28] TV is Wolverine.

[7:29] Not TV is Wolverine.

[7:30] Those were feature films.

[7:31] I saw about three minutes of Star Trek III on the TV before I went to the hotel room to drink some beers.

[7:38] Yeah, that counts.

[7:39] Yeah.

[7:40] So we're going to talk about Star Trek III tonight?

[7:42] No, we're going to talk about –

[7:43] That's the one with the Ewoks, right?

[7:44] Little space bears.

[7:46] They're called little space bears.

[7:50] There's one of my favorite things about the merchandise in the book that Stephen Sandsweet wrote about Star Wars merchandising.

[7:59] He talks about how George Lucas thought the Ewok could be as big as the teddy bear if it was marketed right.

[8:03] He's like, yeah, we have them already.

[8:05] They're called teddy bears.

[8:06] There's no room for another tiny bear toy.

[8:09] Yep.

[8:10] These teddy bears wearing a little bit of, like, clothing could be just as big as the teddy bears you find in your home.

[8:17] People wanted teddy bears with cloth hoods.

[8:19] The idea that someone in the future would be like, they used to call Ewoks teddy bears.

[8:24] That's pretty weird.

[8:26] They were named after President Theodore Ewok.

[8:28] I like this teddy bear, but I'd like it a lot more if it was playing a storm trooper helmet like a drum.

[8:35] I'd like this teddy bear more if George Lucas got a nickel in it.

[8:38] There was a person's head inside of that helmet, by the way.

[8:42] No, they scooped it out.

[8:43] Okay.

[8:44] That's what they were eating.

[8:46] Oh, wow.

[8:47] I always assumed that, and I was always like, it added a little bit of fear.

[8:51] It always gave me a little bit of fear of the Ewoks, like a healthy, like, oh, they're funny, but, you know, they're still wild animals.

[8:58] Yes, the way you should feel about, yeah, like wolves.

[9:01] Like a gorilla or something.

[9:02] A gorilla, yeah.

[9:04] Anything that you've seen try to eat a human being.

[9:07] But then be dissuaded because a metal homosexual robot.

[9:11] Told it a story with sound effects.

[9:14] All right, well, ten minutes into the podcast.

[9:17] Let's finally say what the movie was, Dan.

[9:19] We watched a movie called Red Riding Hood because this is part of our medieval Shocktober extravaganza.

[9:27] Season of the Witch last time, Red Riding Hood this time.

[9:30] What's it going to be next time?

[9:31] Well, Shocktober will be over by now.

[9:33] Oh, so sad.

[9:34] Another Shocktober comes to a close.

[9:35] But we can still watch period pieces, right?

[9:37] Yeah, movies about girls becoming women.

[9:39] And we can also watch horror movies.

[9:42] Shocktober, the most unnecessary theme month there is.

[9:46] So this is not Red Riding, the British miniseries about crime in North England.

[9:52] No, we did not spend nine hours watching all three parts of Red Riding.

[9:55] Listening to incomprehensible Northern England accents.

[9:59] So what's this about?

[10:00] And it's about a variable.

[10:03] Now, what a werewolf?

[10:05] Oh, sorry.

[10:06] You OK? I had a speech impediment that you took it off.

[10:11] Well, we got out of that pretty quickly.

[10:13] Yeah, it must only come on when he's nervous or a werewolf.

[10:20] Or if he's a werewolf.

[10:20] OK, so this is a movie about a woman with big eyes

[10:26] who's in love with some boys and there's a wolf.

[10:29] So it sounds like Twilight is what you're saying.

[10:31] Well, funny you should say that, Elliot.

[10:33] It was directed by Katherine Hardwick, who directed the first Twilight movie,

[10:37] as well as the.

[10:39] You guys see that one?

[10:40] No. As well as is the beginning of the sentence story.

[10:45] Thought it was the end.

[10:47] She directed the first Twilight movie as well as period,

[10:52] as well as the teen exploitation film 13.

[10:56] Not really teen exploitation, but it's supposed to be a low budget.

[10:59] Slice of Dreyfus, Slice of Life, Slice of Dreyfus is a slice of Dreyfus.

[11:03] One of Richard Dreyfus' small movies, like Crippendorf's tribe.

[11:08] It's when he can't handle a whole Dreyfus.

[11:11] Richard, what are you working on?

[11:12] Like I'm going over paranoia.

[11:13] Slice of Dreyfus.

[11:16] It's like a Friday night, Friday night AMC feature.

[11:20] Slice of Dreyfus.

[11:23] Richard Dreyfus shares his thoughts on life, love and careers.

[11:27] And being Dreyfus.

[11:28] Well, that should be his memoir, being Dreyfus.

[11:32] My life is Dreyfus.

[11:38] 13 was sold as a slice of life,

[11:41] but it was really a overcooked, overheated

[11:44] sort of cautionary tale.

[11:46] You're talking about that 13 ghosts, right?

[11:48] Yeah. So about 13 erotic ghosts.

[11:51] The porn parody of 13 ghosts.

[11:53] Uh, no, I'm talking about 13 ghosts.

[11:56] The movie that introduced us to what?

[11:59] Evan Rachel Wood. Was she in that?

[12:01] I don't know what that other one, too.

[12:04] Well, we got the what's going on over here, Dan.

[12:09] I'm so used to it.

[12:10] You lose your copy of Video Hound's Psychotronic Guide to Film or something.

[12:15] Do you remember losing to movies?

[12:17] Look, I feel like we owe the audience an apology.

[12:20] We're sitting in different chairs right now.

[12:24] They care about that.

[12:26] You probably heard it sounds different.

[12:28] That's because I'm to Dan's right instead of his left.

[12:31] Sure, Dan, blame the chairs.

[12:32] Elliot's usually summarizing the movie right now.

[12:34] Everything's fucked up.

[12:36] OK, well, I'll explain what happens in the movie.

[12:38] Please do. Let's get us back on track.

[12:39] OK, we're in. I'm sorry.

[12:41] I really blame Alex for this one.

[12:43] It's my fault. It really is.

[12:45] So we're in a medieval type village sometime in medieval times.

[12:49] And this is a village where Amanda Seyfried grew up and lives.

[12:53] She, of course, you may remember from other things.

[12:55] And she's the girl who looks like the main character from Sucker Punch,

[13:02] but she's not the same person.

[13:04] You know, you remember her from she was in Mean Girls as the dumb one.

[13:08] She was in Big Love as the daughter.

[13:10] She was in the girl who gets killed in Veronica Mars.

[13:12] Is she in the what's the one about the what's

[13:16] the one with Megan Fox where she eats people?

[13:19] Yeah. Jennifer's body.

[13:20] Jennifer's body. Does she eat people in that?

[13:22] No, but she kisses Megan Fox.

[13:23] And then she's in Chloe where she kisses Julianne Moore.

[13:26] You mean I mean, kissing?

[13:27] Yeah. So this is a kissy actress.

[13:30] So anyway, guys, we first meet.

[13:33] There's a little girl and a little boy.

[13:34] Big lips. Alan is not a big lips and big eyes.

[13:37] Somebody punched her in both those things.

[13:40] That's not really how eyes work.

[13:42] Really?

[13:43] It's just well shut.

[13:44] They don't the pupils don't get bigger.

[13:47] They don't make it easier to see.

[13:48] No, they make it much harder.

[13:50] Or else I doctors would just be punching people in the face all the time.

[13:53] I got to change my plans.

[13:54] Your your health plan.

[13:56] Yeah, my only got to see a different GP.

[14:03] So anyway, it's a medieval type village.

[14:05] Amanda Seyfried has lived there all her life.

[14:07] And for as long as she's lived, it's been plagued by a werewolf.

[14:11] As Dan said, that one time, I think it's told to us

[14:14] like like an opening monologue.

[14:15] Stewart Stewart predicted that she would say the line

[14:18] my mother always told me in the voiceover, and she did.

[14:21] And that got me a bunch of high fives from everybody.

[14:24] Yeah, his hands was ripped raw from high fives.

[14:29] It's a worn to the bone with with celebratory high fives.

[14:34] She's growing up in this town that's plagued by a werewolf.

[14:37] Every full moon on the night of the full moons, they put out a blood moon.

[14:42] No, no, no.

[14:43] That's different than it's different.

[14:45] Yeah, the blood moons only every once in a while.

[14:47] Yeah, every full moon blood good.

[14:51] What is that?

[14:51] Terminator Salvation Star Moon Blood.

[14:53] Everyone's favorite.

[14:56] Well, they put three words in.

[14:57] They put words in a hat and they pulled out three of them.

[14:59] Everyone made a name.

[15:00] Favorite actress with a made up name.

[15:02] Moon Blood.

[15:03] That's what we're talking about.

[15:04] Sounds like a character from a fantasy novel written by a 12 year old.

[15:08] Surely Moonblood, Moonblood, Gold's Raven, Blade, Bloodgold, Bloodgold.

[15:13] Well, that's another blunder.

[15:15] That's another bond bill cleaved the shadow thief into anyway.

[15:20] Keep going.

[15:21] So the town is plagued by a werewolf.

[15:23] Always has been, always will be or will it?

[15:26] It turns one night.

[15:27] The werewolf kills Amanda Seyfried's sister and the haystack area.

[15:31] Fairly distraught about that.

[15:33] She is somewhat stiff and wild.

[15:35] She wanders over to inspect it.

[15:37] Now she is in love.

[15:39] Dead, all right.

[15:39] There are two because just like every movie ever since Twilight,

[15:44] there are two handsome young men for her to choose between.

[15:47] One is her fiance, a rich blacksmith who her sister, it turns out, had a crush on.

[15:55] Well, she doesn't, she doesn't have financial stability with it.

[15:58] Yes.

[15:58] She doesn't love the fiance though.

[15:59] She loves Peter.

[16:01] The wild wood's boy who chops down wood and has kind of a wolfish hairdo.

[16:09] She also has a dad who's a drunk and the mom who's Virginia Madsen.

[16:13] Her dad played by the evil cult leader from earlier mentioned drive angry 3D.

[16:18] Yep.

[16:18] In that one, he had a Southern accent.

[16:20] Here he has a made up type.

[16:22] Kind of a Southern accent.

[16:23] Kind of a Southern accent with a little bit of English in it.

[16:25] And this is how you know, by the way, you're in the wrong movie.

[16:28] You're in the wrong movie.

[16:29] You're in the wrong movie.

[16:30] This is how you know, by the way, that the female characters in these movies or TV shows

[16:34] or books are awesome, is that they have two guys interested in them.

[16:39] That's how you know that they're a woman of worth, a woman worth having because they're

[16:43] two gentlemen.

[16:44] Well, I mean, she's objectively the most beautiful girl in the village.

[16:47] No, I know.

[16:48] She's the blondest.

[16:49] I'm kind of surprised there are only two guys who are after her.

[16:51] I mean, there's probably like that.

[16:52] I mean, it seems like there's only two young boys.

[16:53] The guy who gets cooked in the belly of the metal elephant probably liked her.

[16:56] Well, yeah, and he was meant to be challenged.

[16:57] He also has no distinguishing personality.

[16:59] Our audience just heard you say cooked in the belly of a metal elephant.

[17:03] We haven't even gotten to that yet.

[17:04] So let's fast forward a little, shall we?

[17:07] Black Eyed Peas show up with a metal elephant.

[17:09] There's a werewolf.

[17:10] Gary Coldman.

[17:11] You might remember him from various movies.

[17:12] So there's a werewolf.

[17:13] Romeo is flatting.

[17:14] The werewolf kills her sister.

[17:17] And so the Lucas Haas, the local young priest, calls for Gary Oldman, the witch slaying werewolf

[17:23] fighter, with his international band of knights and their metal elephant that they burn people

[17:28] in to come and save the village from the werewolf.

[17:31] Also, Julie Christie plays Amanda Seyfried's grandmother, who's probably a witch and makes

[17:36] her a red cloak.

[17:38] Bedreaded grandmother.

[17:39] Because she's got dreadlocks.

[17:40] I mean, they're really more braids than anything else.

[17:41] They're probably dreadlocks.

[17:42] But no, continue.

[17:43] I didn't mean to interrupt.

[17:44] Well.

[17:45] I'm sorry, man.

[17:46] The townspeople kill a wolf, and assuming it's the werewolf, hold a nocturnal bacchanalia.

[17:53] Who's that guy from that movie, or the show, the guy who kills a wolf?

[18:00] Right.

[18:01] From Battlestar Galactica.

[18:02] Yeah.

[18:03] Colonel Ty.

[18:04] Colonel Ty Pennington from Battlestar Galactica.

[18:05] So he is sure he killed a werewolf.

[18:06] Yeah, he killed.

[18:07] He cuts off a white wolf's head.

[18:08] And they carry a wolf's head on a stick for about 40 hours, just shaking it in people's

[18:16] People wear them around pig masks and play the hurdy-gurdy.

[18:18] I mean, I don't know about you guys, but a party's not a party until you shake a wolf's

[18:23] head.

[18:24] So they hold, Gary Coldman comes into town, and he says, you didn't kill the werewolf.

[18:29] Clyde Coldman.

[18:30] He acts out, he overacts extremely the story of how he, earlier in his wolf fighting career,

[18:36] thought he had killed a werewolf.

[18:38] But when he came home, he found out that he had actually hurt his wife, who was the werewolf.

[18:44] Because she was a werewolf.

[18:45] And he carries her hand around as proof, I guess.

[18:48] He's really proud of the fact that he killed his wife.

[18:50] He constantly talks about how he killed his wife.

[18:54] To the point where it goes from him being, it being his tragic backstory, to it being

[18:58] something that he's pretty proud of.

[19:00] And he wants everyone to tell him how cool he is for it.

[19:03] He also has silver fingernails to kill wolves with.

[19:06] Much like Cyber, the Wolverine villain.

[19:08] But only like three of them, right?

[19:11] And they're not very long.

[19:12] They're like slightly longer than normal fingernails.

[19:14] The middle one isn't silver, so it's like the longest one.

[19:17] Yeah, that one's for cocaine.

[19:20] And he also has a silver sword.

[19:22] And the best moment in the entire movie, the best one, and Gary Oldman's shining moment,

[19:28] is when Lucas Haas says, one of only three silver swords, blessed by the Holy Father.

[19:34] May I touch it?

[19:35] And he goes, no.

[19:41] As he's turning away from it.

[19:44] This is something he is not even going to have to think about for a moment.

[19:49] So Gary Oldman...

[19:50] No, it has to sit there.

[19:53] It's important that it sit on this window sill and not be touched at all.

[19:57] Like a pie about to be stolen by a hobo.

[20:00] He's walking away from the sword, as he's saying that.

[20:03] It's not like he's about to sheath it or anything.

[20:06] He's just leaving it behind.

[20:08] I mean, this town does have hobo problems, right?

[20:13] I have to assume so.

[20:13] I mean, the father is basically a hobo.

[20:15] Everybody in town is a hobo.

[20:17] The father passes out drunk and gets humped in the butt

[20:20] by another guy.

[20:23] So he says, you didn't kill the werewolf.

[20:25] And the town mayor is like, we totally did.

[20:27] We're going to throw a big party.

[20:28] They throw a huge party.

[20:30] Amanda Seyfried's dad passes out and the guy

[20:32] pretends to hump him in the butt.

[20:32] I think they've got to have a DJ or something.

[20:34] They have a band there that has three trumpets, a hurdy-gurdy,

[20:38] and a lute.

[20:38] I think they were like contrabassoons, actually.

[20:41] They were huge horn things.

[20:42] They were like recala horns.

[20:43] They were like alphan horns.

[20:44] Yeah.

[20:45] And you were saying somebody was singing through a megaphone?

[20:48] Through a megaphone.

[20:49] Yeah.

[20:50] You've got some modern music playing.

[20:51] Karen O sings through a megaphone.

[20:53] And during the carnival, Amanda Seyfried

[20:56] is made jealous when she sees Peter

[20:58] dancing with another woman.

[20:59] That's not her fiancee, right?

[21:01] No.

[21:01] Peter is the woodsman.

[21:02] He's the wolf face.

[21:04] He's the wolf face.

[21:05] He's a wolf face wood boy.

[21:06] And so they go off to a place with soft hay,

[21:09] as it's described later.

[21:10] Hold on.

[21:11] I first got to say that Amanda Seyfried tries

[21:17] to make her boyfriend jealous by grabbing someone out

[21:21] of the crowd to dance with.

[21:22] But she grabs one of her lady friends to dance with.

[21:25] So there's this weird crypto lesbian, I guess,

[21:28] like, oh, look at me.

[21:29] I'm dancing with someone else to make you jealous.

[21:32] But it doesn't really work that well.

[21:34] Hold on there, guy.

[21:35] Come on.

[21:36] Come on, Pee-woe.

[21:36] Pee-woe is the pervasoid number one.

[21:38] No, it's true.

[21:39] We were all totally turned on.

[21:40] Except they're dancing a kind of medieval folk dance.

[21:43] Yeah, but she's making total saucy eyes at the girl.

[21:46] That's right.

[21:46] Her eyes are full of sauce.

[21:47] Was she going to grab the crazy kid from the, I mean,

[21:51] there's no other like, the only.

[21:53] That's true.

[21:53] If there were three.

[21:54] If there were handsome young men.

[21:56] There's only, yeah.

[21:57] If there were three men in that town,

[21:59] it would destroy the whole construct of the movie.

[22:01] And they had to make sure they snuck a couple characters out

[22:04] so that later on when the wolf shows up,

[22:06] you'd be like, it was one of those characters

[22:08] we didn't see dancing.

[22:09] Well, that's so Peter and Amanda Seyfried

[22:11] are about to bed down on the hay.

[22:13] But they're interrupted at the last minute

[22:15] and the blacksmith fiance sees them.

[22:17] Then the werewolf attacks.

[22:19] Sure enough, they didn't, they just killed a normal wolf.

[22:22] The werewolf attacks, kills a bunch of people, and says,

[22:27] it corners Amanda Seyfried.

[22:30] That's what it says.

[22:32] It corners Amanda Seyfried and talks to her with its brain.

[22:35] It's just a mental talking that no one else can hear saying,

[22:38] I'm going to take you away from here.

[22:39] And she notices the wolf has brown eyes, which is a clue,

[22:42] except everyone in the movie has brown eyes.

[22:45] So every time she sees some of the brown eyes,

[22:47] she's like, oh, but it's everyone.

[22:49] What do you think of the creature effects on that wolf?

[22:51] Actually, I thought they weren't that bad.

[22:53] I mean, it helped that they shot like every wolf shot at night

[22:56] because that was part of their mythos.

[22:58] But one of the things is that in a lot of these CGI movies,

[23:01] things are too well lit.

[23:03] So they look like too fakie.

[23:04] But this was pretty good that it was always

[23:06] in shadow for the most part.

[23:07] Oh, also, it's a blood moon.

[23:09] It's like if all the guys from Halo

[23:09] would show up and start shooting it or something.

[23:11] Yeah.

[23:12] This is also during the time of the decade known as a blood

[23:15] moon.

[23:16] And during a blood moon, if a werewolf bites you,

[23:18] you become a werewolf.

[23:21] Normally, you just die.

[23:22] So the werewolf disappears into the night.

[23:24] So it's slightly better than regularly.

[23:28] Actually, well, they say worse.

[23:29] And Gary Oldman and his men start a kind of.

[23:32] But I think it's better.

[23:33] I mean, I'd rather be a werewolf than just die, right?

[23:36] Except your soul is in trouble.

[23:37] Ultimately, that's kind of the point of the movie

[23:39] is that it's better to be a werewolf.

[23:40] Yeah.

[23:41] Spoilers.

[23:41] You've got to be you and me is what it comes down to.

[23:43] Be yourself.

[23:45] Be proud of who you are if you're a werewolf.

[23:47] That's what I'm saying.

[23:49] I was hoping to revisit it later.

[23:52] So Gary Oldman establishes a police state in the village.

[23:55] They burn a retarded boy in a giant metal elephant

[23:58] as torture to make him tell where a witch is.

[24:01] And then everyone just kind of runs around.

[24:03] And Amanda Seyfried sees them both.

[24:05] He tells them where the witch is.

[24:06] And then they throw him in there.

[24:07] And you never see him again.

[24:08] I assume he died.

[24:09] He's just ash in the bottom of that metal elephant.

[24:11] So one of his international knights,

[24:14] like the one that Stewart dubbed Karate Joe.

[24:17] He's the guy from the Black Eyed Peas.

[24:19] From the Black Eyed Peas.

[24:22] I assume he just opens up the elephant

[24:23] and rakes the ashes out every couple of days.

[24:26] But the mentally challenged kid, his sister

[24:30] comes in and gives up Amanda Seyfried.

[24:33] Says, oh, she's a witch to save his life.

[24:35] She can talk to wolves.

[24:36] Yeah.

[24:36] They imprison Amanda Seyfried.

[24:38] How did that work for him?

[24:39] Mentally challenged.

[24:40] I think we're pre the point where people could be described

[24:43] as mentally challenged.

[24:44] Yeah, this is why they were calling him.

[24:46] They were saying he was touched by the hand of God.

[24:49] He didn't go to college.

[24:51] Rock headed or something.

[24:54] His job is to sit on a fence and eat mud.

[24:56] All right, the village idiot.

[24:58] The village idiot.

[24:59] Should be wearing a canvas sack and a sock on his head.

[25:04] So Amanda Seyfried is thrown in jail.

[25:05] And they decide they're going to sacrifice her to the wolf.

[25:08] They put a metal wolf mask on her.

[25:10] It's a pig mask.

[25:11] A metal pig mask.

[25:12] Which, I mean, if you're going to try and embarrass somebody,

[25:15] you should leave their face exposed so people could spit on it.

[25:17] Look, it's a tiny village.

[25:18] Everyone knows who she is.

[25:20] They sit her down on an altar of some kind.

[25:22] I mean, if somebody is going to be paraded in front of me

[25:24] and I'm going to, like, heckle them and shout at them,

[25:26] I want to see them crying.

[25:28] And so you always imagine yourself as one of the villagers

[25:31] whenever this situation happens.

[25:33] You have no empathy for the person who is unjustly accused.

[25:36] My first instinct, like I've been practicing, first instinct, look for dung.

[25:39] Look for dung.

[25:40] Because he's going to throw it.

[25:42] You don't want to be the second one to throw dung.

[25:43] You want to be the trendsetter.

[25:44] The thing is, you know, dung in my hands, gross.

[25:47] Dung on their face, gross for them.

[25:48] That's all I'm saying.

[25:49] It's worse to have dung on your face.

[25:51] Wait, gross and gross for them.

[25:54] I'd be willing to put a little gross on my hands or gross on their face.

[26:01] Yep.

[26:02] I'm filling up empty air by saying yep.

[26:05] While Elliot closes his mouth.

[26:06] I was blowing my nose.

[26:08] I apologize.

[26:09] I'll let snot run down my face.

[26:10] Go in for a moment.

[26:11] It's for the podcast.

[26:12] My clever ad lib of yep.

[26:15] You really had a lot to offer there.

[26:16] Anyhoo, they leave Amanda Seyfried to be eaten by the wolf.

[26:20] But the blacksmith and the woods boy team up with a cunning plan

[26:24] to save her, which involves her dad getting drunk and pushing a wheelbarrow

[26:28] five feet and then being arrested.

[26:31] But what happens is they light fires around the altar.

[26:33] In the commotion, the blacksmith undoes the locks on her hands

[26:37] and takes her away, but not far enough.

[26:40] And there's a lot more running around.

[26:42] I kind of don't remember exactly what happened after that.

[26:45] Oh, and Lucas Haas gets stabbed trying to stop the knights

[26:49] from shooting the blacksmith.

[26:51] But not by the sword he so wanted to touch.

[26:53] No, he's stabbed by Gary Oldman's dagger.

[26:55] He's not even worthy enough to be stabbed by the sword he wanted to fondle.

[27:00] Momentarily.

[27:01] The werewolf reappears.

[27:03] He bites off Gary Oldman's arm and says to Amanda Seyfried, come with me

[27:08] or I'll destroy the village.

[27:10] All the villagers stand up and join forces with her and say,

[27:13] no, you'll have to go through me.

[27:14] And me, and me.

[27:16] It's like the subway scene in Spider-Man 2, except all medieval

[27:20] and there's no Dr. Octopus.

[27:22] I mean, the werewolf's a lot like Dr. Octopus.

[27:24] OK, well, there's no Spider-Man.

[27:25] Can't say Amanda Seyfried's like Spider-Man.

[27:27] OK, you're right.

[27:28] She doesn't wear red.

[27:29] She does wear red, though, like Spider-Man.

[27:31] So I guess she's like Spider-Man.

[27:32] So it's basically Spider-Man 2.

[27:34] So they kill Gary Oldman because he was bitten by a wolf

[27:41] and his hand got bitten off.

[27:43] The hand with the silver nails.

[27:45] Ooh.

[27:46] I wonder what's going to happen with that.

[27:48] Well, I'll tell you what's going to happen with that.

[27:52] Amanda Seyfried.

[27:52] They bury it.

[27:53] They bury it and say prayers over it.

[27:56] It gets transplanted with a killer.

[28:00] I'm going to kind of skip to the end here.

[28:01] Many of the candidates.

[28:02] The killer turns to religion.

[28:03] Many of the candidates for wolf have been killed.

[28:06] So Amanda Seyfried thinks it's her boyfriend, Peter,

[28:10] the woods boy.

[28:10] Or her grandma.

[28:12] Or her grandma.

[28:13] She stabs him and then goes to the grandma's house.

[28:15] And it turns out, grandma's dead already.

[28:19] Who killed her?

[28:19] And apparently made into a stew.

[28:21] Well, it's implied she was made into a stew.

[28:23] It's implied that she's been made into a stew.

[28:25] And Amanda Seyfried eats a little of it.

[28:26] Is that actually what it was?

[28:27] I was kind of interpreting.

[28:28] There's just a gross stew there.

[28:30] But he doesn't ever say, like, grandma died

[28:32] and I made a bad stew.

[28:34] It looked like some kind of Indian spinach dish,

[28:36] like side paneer or something.

[28:38] That would be known in those parts.

[28:40] Perhaps a traveling peck here came through the village

[28:47] and showed them some levitation tricks

[28:50] and taught them how to make that.

[28:52] It turns out her father was the werewolf.

[28:54] Ooh, that's how she can listen to werewolf talk.

[28:58] With the bad guy from Drive Angry.

[29:00] Drive Angry is also the bad guy in this.

[29:03] And he killed her sister because it turns out

[29:05] her sister was not his child.

[29:07] But her mother had had an affair.

[29:09] Anyway, it's not necessary to know that anymore.

[29:11] It's a subplot that doesn't really go anywhere.

[29:14] They talk a little.

[29:16] He's trying to convince her to come with him and be a wolf.

[29:19] Peter shows up.

[29:20] Because of the blood moon.

[29:22] Because of the blood moon.

[29:23] Peter shows up, apparently fine, after having

[29:25] been stabbed in the belly.

[29:27] And he throws an axe.

[29:28] By her.

[29:29] Yeah.

[29:30] By her.

[29:30] He's OK with it.

[29:32] He throws an axe at the back of the dead.

[29:34] And then Amanda Seyfried stabs him with Gary Oldman's nails.

[29:38] Yeah, severed hand.

[29:39] Yeah, the silver, thus killing him.

[29:41] Which she had in her little red riding hood basket.

[29:45] Yeah.

[29:46] Yeah, because it was a reference to the story.

[29:49] That's what she was taking as random other times.

[29:51] It's one of two references, or one of three references,

[29:52] I think, to the actual story.

[29:54] Because she has the actual red riding hood.

[29:56] She has the basket.

[29:57] Which is referred to in the lettering.

[29:59] Yeah, sure.

[30:00] It's actually wearing a red...

[30:01] And it's referred to as, what, her harlot's cloak?

[30:03] There's a fact that the wolf is killed by a woodsman.

[30:07] Yeah. Well, not what's killed by her.

[30:10] Well, yeah, I guess. But he comes in and throws an axe at the wolf.

[30:14] I mean, the guy is a pretty... I mean, I'd call him a woodsman.

[30:17] He's pretty handsome. He talks a lot of babes.

[30:19] No, it's just the killing part that I was up against. Not the woodsman part.

[30:22] Well, one, there's another similarity, too, that I had not realized when we were watching it.

[30:26] First, there is the line, she wears this red cloak, and someone goes,

[30:29] That's the devil's color!

[30:31] Which is like a line that Kenneth would have on 30 Rock.

[30:34] But there's an episode where he goes,

[30:36] Warm, it was hot, but that's the devil's temperature!

[30:40] But, uh...

[30:42] But there's one more, like, the most overt reference is the dream sequence.

[30:46] Where she's in bed with her grandma.

[30:48] Like you often are in your dreams.

[30:51] The good ones.

[30:52] And she says what big eyes you have, what big ears you have.

[30:55] That whole deal that we all know.

[30:57] The better to eat you with, idiot.

[30:59] That's...

[31:00] Is that Freddy?

[31:01] Yeah.

[31:02] The better to eat with you with, bitch.

[31:06] Are you pretending to be the next Freddy?

[31:08] Freddy, you just stole that from Brothers Grimm.

[31:10] That's not your pun.

[31:12] Whatever.

[31:13] How many of these do you think I can come up with?

[31:16] So, they kill the dad, and they say,

[31:20] No one can know about this.

[31:21] She'll be in trouble for being a wolf's daughter.

[31:24] So they cut him open and fill him with stones and throw him in a river.

[31:28] But that's the most fucked up thing in the whole movie.

[31:31] But that's also, I realized, I didn't realize at the time,

[31:34] straight from the fairy tale.

[31:35] Because in the original one,

[31:37] he eats the grandmother and eats Little Red Riding Hood.

[31:41] The woodsman hears them screaming and comes in,

[31:43] cuts open the wolf, and saves the two women

[31:46] and fills the wolf's belly with stones to, like, make him feel full.

[31:50] And the wolf staggers out.

[31:51] That's one of the versions of it.

[31:52] But I forgot about that until now.

[31:54] Oh, that makes more sense then.

[31:56] And then, that's the end.

[31:58] And then Peter, he was bitten during the fight,

[32:00] so he's going to turn into a wolf now.

[32:02] So he goes off into the distance, and she says,

[32:05] I'll wait for you.

[32:06] Yeah, because that's the thing.

[32:07] When we discover about the father...

[32:10] Wolf College.

[32:11] With Jason Bateman.

[32:13] Wolf College.

[32:15] When we discover that the father...

[32:16] Hell you.

[32:18] I'm going to just bite you.

[32:19] That's what I'm going to be.

[32:20] When we discover the father is the wolf,

[32:22] we also discover that the wolf totally retains all of his human emotions

[32:28] and reasoning abilities.

[32:30] While wolf, yeah, like, he only killed the daughter

[32:34] once he realized that it wasn't his actual daughter.

[32:37] And there was, like, a logic behind much of what happens in the movie.

[32:40] Makes you wonder why he kills anyone at all.

[32:42] Yeah.

[32:43] Why he doesn't use his wolf powers to help the village hunt for food

[32:46] and be a hero.

[32:47] Yeah.

[32:48] To make the village a better place to be.

[32:49] Exactly.

[32:50] Yeah.

[32:51] It's not so bad that she has a wolf boyfriend now.

[32:53] He just has to go off for a while, learn to control his wolfdom.

[32:57] It's just like in, basically like in Teen Wolf,

[32:59] where he says, you'll learn how to control the wolf.

[33:01] Or use the wolf or something.

[33:03] I bet they have great sex.

[33:05] Am I right, Elliot?

[33:06] Huh?

[33:07] He's like a beast in the bed, huh?

[33:09] I'm thinking about that.

[33:10] You've had sex with a wolf, right Elliot?

[33:12] Yes.

[33:13] I had sex with a wolf once.

[33:14] It was not good.

[33:15] Okay.

[33:16] I don't want to talk about it.

[33:17] It's a point.

[33:18] You always think it's going to be better than that.

[33:19] You're just like, I'm sure we hear about it.

[33:21] You always think it's going to be good.

[33:22] Then you hear someone else.

[33:23] Yeah.

[33:24] I had to fake it the whole time.

[33:25] It was just not cool.

[33:26] And then at the end, he comes back.

[33:28] It was not cool.

[33:30] I had sex with a wolf and it was not cool.

[33:34] At the very end, Peter comes back in wolf form,

[33:37] and I guess it's open for a sequel where they have wolf babies.

[33:40] Sure.

[33:42] A sequel with no action in it.

[33:44] No.

[33:45] Just them raising baby wolves.

[33:46] Well, it's tied into the sequel, Little Red Riding Hood,

[33:48] Little Red Wolf Babies.

[33:51] Little Red Wolf Babies.

[33:53] Why are they red?

[33:54] It's not a movie.

[33:56] It's a calendar.

[34:03] So yeah, that's the plot of Red Riding Hood.

[34:05] What do you think about the movie, fellas?

[34:07] Fellers?

[34:08] You've turned the shoehorning of the fairy tale into a weird movie format, Dan.

[34:13] I mean, well, clearly this was an attempt for Catherine Hartwick to say,

[34:19] F you guys for firing me off Twilight.

[34:21] I'm going to create my own fantasy series about a girl and two dudes.

[34:25] There's a werewolf in there.

[34:27] Yeah.

[34:28] I mean, I've seen a lot of fantasies with a girl and two dudes.

[34:30] And I've seen a lot of fantasies with a girl and two dudes and a wolf.

[34:35] Now that I think about it.

[34:37] Yeah.

[34:38] I mean, you know, it was a thing.

[34:39] It was a thing that we watched.

[34:41] I felt there were some pretty scenic pictures in it.

[34:47] Yeah, sure.

[34:48] I liked some of the color in it.

[34:49] Yeah, it was pretty good looking, actually.

[34:51] Yeah.

[34:52] The CGI was not as horrendous as a lot of other movies.

[34:55] I think it might be, yeah,

[34:56] one of the best shot movies we've actually watched for the Pop House.

[34:59] Yeah.

[35:00] I mean, there's Sucker Punch, so it's not the best shot movie we've seen.

[35:02] I mean, that was a penalty of colors.

[35:05] Yeah, it was just a cornucopia.

[35:08] Sure.

[35:09] Of rainbows.

[35:10] I like the giant metal elephant that they baked that retarded guy.

[35:13] Yeah, that was one of those moments.

[35:15] I was about to say mentally challenged.

[35:17] I'm like, that's ridiculous.

[35:18] It's not.

[35:19] It's a traditional way of preparing.

[35:21] It's a pretty bland movie,

[35:23] but there are like a couple of just crazy things in it that come out of nowhere.

[35:27] And the giant metal elephant oven is one of them that people get thrown into.

[35:30] Gary Oldman is the other.

[35:33] Gary Oldman has a few good moments where he's just like,

[35:36] you can tell this is a great actor who is getting a paycheck

[35:40] and just going to do whatever on set.

[35:43] I like when he makes the girl petitioning to get her mentally challenged brother

[35:47] out of that elephant.

[35:49] She strips down and he makes her turn around to show her body,

[35:52] and then he's like, get out of here, kid.

[35:55] What else you got?

[35:58] Yeah, what would have happened to have made that scene go another way?

[36:01] What would she have done?

[36:05] I think he was hoping for like a lower back tattoo or something.

[36:08] Yeah, something in Chinese.

[36:10] That reminds me of my wife that I killed.

[36:12] Did I mention I killed her?

[36:14] What would that do?

[36:16] I mean, she's already offering herself to him.

[36:18] It's not like, oh, I got a lower back tattoo.

[36:21] She's totally a slut.

[36:23] I don't understand.

[36:25] Well, I mean, I think he was just hoping to see some killer artwork

[36:28] while making love to her.

[36:30] Doing it wolf style.

[36:32] That's how they call it around those parts.

[36:35] When you have sex with somebody and chop off their hand.

[36:38] What parts are those?

[36:39] Yeah, where was those parts?

[36:41] You know what's ironic is that Gary Oldman chopped off his wife's hand

[36:44] only to have his own hand chopped off by a wolf.

[36:46] Yeah, it's the kind of irony you would find only in the Star Wars movies.

[36:49] Chopped by a wolf's mouth.

[36:51] In the Star Trek movies?

[36:53] As Alex would say, in the Star Trek movies.

[36:59] He had some Star Wars Star Trek confusion.

[37:01] By the way, a surprising amount of Stuart's bachelor party

[37:03] was spent talking about Star Wars.

[37:05] True, yes.

[37:06] Surprising.

[37:07] The character of Zuckus came up several times.

[37:11] Forlom.

[37:12] Forlom, another character.

[37:14] And I was really pleased to find that when we were checking into the hotel,

[37:18] we were behind a woman dressed up as a drow checking in as well.

[37:23] And what is a drow?

[37:24] A drow is from the Forgotten Realms universe of Dungeons & Dragons.

[37:28] It's an underworld-dwelling elf that is evil in nature,

[37:32] dark like black skin with white hair.

[37:34] Now you say dressed like a drow.

[37:36] How do you know she wasn't a real drow?

[37:38] Well, her palms and hands were normal human skin color.

[37:42] Wow, normal human skin color?

[37:44] Oh, that's the racist one.

[37:46] Well, I didn't even describe what they looked like.

[37:48] Just the idea of a normal human skin color and others were wrong?

[37:51] I mean, they were inherently racist.

[37:52] Or inherently default?

[37:53] I mean, they weren't, like, ebony colored.

[37:55] Like, they weren't pitch black.

[37:56] Wow, okay.

[37:57] No, didn't have black skin.

[37:59] No, I mean, like...

[38:00] Oh, terrible.

[38:01] Wow.

[38:02] Stuart, you're digging a deeper hole.

[38:04] So there was that happening.

[38:07] I thought you were going to talk about...

[38:08] They weren't, like, Mexican colors is what you said.

[38:10] I thought you were going to talk about how when we checked in,

[38:12] the lady at the desk within a minute of being acquainted with us

[38:16] was referring to us as knuckleheads.

[38:18] Yep.

[38:19] Well, specifically Elliot.

[38:22] Yes, specifically me.

[38:23] When Steve asked for more toilet paper for one night.

[38:26] Yeah, we were there for one night,

[38:28] and one of the other guys asked for two extra rolls of toilet paper.

[38:32] And she said, are you serious?

[38:34] And he said, I poop a lot.

[38:35] And then she told him to go sit in the corner and take a time out.

[38:39] Oh.

[38:40] We all pooped a lot.

[38:42] We should have Sharon on the podcast.

[38:44] She'd be great.

[38:45] Honestly, I don't know why he thought he would need three rolls of toilet paper

[38:49] unless he was going to dress up like a mummy at some point.

[38:51] He is a very proficient bar back and bus boy,

[38:54] and I think he just wanted to make sure that nothing bad happened.

[38:57] He wanted to make sure everything was stocked.

[38:59] Yeah, of course.

[39:00] In case he opened a bar in his hotel room.

[39:02] Yeah.

[39:03] Or a bar that serves toilet paper.

[39:05] So Red Riding Hood.

[39:10] Not a particularly exciting movie, yeah, but with a few moments of just strangeness.

[39:16] A fair amount of the movie, or at least early on,

[39:20] has taken up with the idea of this girl who is in love with another guy

[39:24] who has, you know, pledged to marry someone else,

[39:27] and she's like so unhappy about it.

[39:29] She feels like she's being sold.

[39:31] I found all that stuff pretty hard to follow myself.

[39:35] You guys seem to have an easier time getting all the sort of family relations and things.

[39:39] Well, for a small, shitty little town, there's a lot of injury going on.

[39:42] Oh, yeah, everyone has their secrets, as Julie Christie said.

[39:45] I mean, they don't work, so they have plenty of time to do shit.

[39:48] We've also got experience paying attention to movies when we're talking through them.

[39:52] So for a newcomer, that might be more difficult.

[39:55] Although, you might have been distracted by the delicious Popeyes we were all devouring.

[40:00] I was a little surprised by how hard I was fighting.

[40:03] Very basic family relationships, but something about the way the movie presented them.

[40:07] Yeah, well, I mean it helps that the characters didn't really have a lot of names.

[40:10] And like her sister we were introduced to when they discovered a dead body.

[40:15] Yeah.

[40:16] And we never really saw her or what she looked like or knew her name.

[40:19] Yeah, her image was always fuzzy like she exists in two worlds.

[40:23] Yes.

[40:24] Yeah, well, they didn't do any kind of like – they didn't set up –

[40:27] it really would have been easy to set up a family where they're –

[40:32] she has a sister that she loves or she has a –

[40:37] because ultimately it ends up being sort of a big deal that her father loves her so much

[40:43] that he's willing to kill basically everybody in this village to spend time with his sister –

[40:47] to spend time with his daughter.

[40:49] Right.

[40:50] But they don't really show them interacting at all at any point in the movie.

[40:54] Yeah, it's just like weird.

[40:55] They spend a weird amount of time in the beginning showing a scene where she's a little girl

[41:01] hanging out with this kid with a vest on and not killing a fucking rabbit.

[41:06] No, but they do kill the rabbit.

[41:07] But they don't show you that, but like –

[41:09] Initially it's like –

[41:10] It pulls the old ten years later, this movie.

[41:13] It shows these two kids.

[41:14] They trap a rabbit, and the rabbit – and they're about to kill it.

[41:17] They're arguing over which one of them is going to kill it, and then it says ten years later.

[41:20] And everyone's grown up.

[41:21] And that scene is significant for no reason.

[41:23] Later on, the wolf says –

[41:26] The rabbit comes back and saves somebody's life.

[41:28] He's like, thanks.

[41:29] You did the favor for me, and now return the favor.

[41:33] I didn't realize that.

[41:34] Funny power.

[41:35] It's basically Scrappy Doo.

[41:37] Do you have to return that favor if someone traps you and then holds a knife to your throat

[41:41] and then doesn't kill you?

[41:42] It's not exactly pulling the thorn from a lion's paw, I guess.

[41:45] But the wolf says to her, you could kill people.

[41:49] You killed a rabbit once, didn't you?

[41:52] People kill rabbits all the time to eat them and to use their fur for things.

[41:56] Mr. Rabbit Killer over here, am I right, guys?

[41:59] All I'm saying is kill them all.

[42:01] All I'm saying is the only good rabbit is a dead rabbit.

[42:03] Am I right, guys?

[42:04] Yeah, grind their bones to make your bread and whatnot.

[42:06] I don't know if I'm going to make bread out of bones.

[42:08] I think I'll use flour.

[42:10] Bone bread.

[42:11] Bone bread.

[42:12] Sounds like it's a blues musician, Bone Bread.

[42:15] This movie is like 80 minutes long.

[42:18] No, it's 100 minutes long.

[42:20] Really?

[42:21] Yeah, according to Wikipedia.

[42:22] It felt like 200 minutes long.

[42:24] Am I right?

[42:25] No.

[42:26] Yeah, this guy knows what I'm talking about.

[42:27] There's no audience here.

[42:28] You're doing crowd work and there's no audience.

[42:30] Hey, who's here from out of town?

[42:31] Anybody?

[42:32] Me.

[42:34] So where are you from?

[42:36] I'm from Kentucky.

[42:38] Kentucky, as the Francais traders say.

[42:42] The cane tuck.

[42:43] Well, I don't have anything to say about Kentucky.

[42:45] So anybody else?

[42:46] Anyone else here from out of town?

[42:47] Terrible crowd work.

[42:48] Dan, where are you from?

[42:49] I'm from Brooklyn.

[42:50] Now, we've never met before, right, Dan?

[42:52] That is incorrect.

[42:53] So pick a card, any card.

[42:55] All right, this one.

[42:57] Okay, what's the card?

[42:58] It's the tin of diamonds.

[42:59] Amazing, amazing, everybody.

[43:01] I'll be back later for the 4 o'clock show.

[43:04] Okay, well, he just threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared.

[43:07] A spokes bomb?

[43:09] It's the bomb that speaks for all the other bombs.

[43:16] So, guys, we've been wasting more than our usual amount of time on gibberish.

[43:20] What are you talking about?

[43:21] I think that's going to be a theme with every episode that comes out,

[43:24] as we run out of things to say about movies.

[43:27] We should wrap it up.

[43:31] I mean, what can you really say about movies?

[43:34] They're long and short, old and new.

[43:37] They're flat, they take up time, there's some people in them.

[43:41] We're moving to an all gibberish format.

[43:44] We're a gibberish podcast.

[43:46] It's just nonsense.

[43:48] So, Dan, how do we rate this movie?

[43:50] Oh, yeah, is this movie totally scarifying?

[43:54] Was it totally snorifying?

[43:57] Or was it frighteningly funny?

[44:00] Once again, inadequate ratings.

[44:02] Well, it was not shockingly good.

[44:08] Not a rating.

[44:09] But neither was it horrifyingly horrifying.

[44:11] It wasn't that either.

[44:13] Well, it's tough to use the ironclad rating system that Dan's presented,

[44:19] because I don't feel comfortable being locked into this system.

[44:26] It wasn't really a horror movie.

[44:31] Yeah, I mean, it went pretty quick.

[44:33] It was better to look at than some of the other movies.

[44:36] Am I right?

[44:37] Yeah.

[44:38] That's good stuff.

[44:41] I would say it was shockingly.

[44:43] So, perfect movie.

[44:44] I would say good bad.

[44:45] Let's move on.

[44:46] I'll say good bad.

[44:47] I enjoyed it.

[44:48] Good bad.

[44:49] Alex?

[44:50] Spookily good bad.

[44:52] Spookily good bad.

[44:55] A bushel of wormy boners.

[44:58] You haven't rated anything with wormy boners in a while, Stuart.

[45:01] Well, I was saving it, but I guess you're going to blow up my spot.

[45:05] I agree with Stuart.

[45:06] Stuart, I do feel like it's a little bit.

[45:09] It feels to me even a little bit better than good bad, because it's not just.

[45:14] I mean, it's not good, but it's not.

[45:17] I agree with Elliot that I think the special effects were.

[45:21] They were never.

[45:23] Usually when you watch a bad movie recently that has a lot of CGI in it

[45:27] or a lot of special effects, you are distracted by how bad

[45:30] or how obnoxious they are.

[45:32] And this one seemed to be sort of restrained in that regard, I think.

[45:36] Yeah.

[45:37] They just did sort of a good job with everything visual about the movie.

[45:41] They at least did a good job with that.

[45:43] So, yeah, I'll say good bad, but I do think that it's.

[45:46] I don't know if it's worth watching if you don't.

[45:49] That might be stretching it.

[45:51] If you're not wearing the red riding hood.

[45:53] If you're not a big hood head, which I guess is a Klansman.

[45:57] They're like brown coats.

[45:59] Okay.

[46:00] I think you guys have said at some time that it's something that a movie

[46:05] might be something that's worth watching if it's like on TV already.

[46:08] Yeah, yeah, if you're sick.

[46:09] It's that kind of thing.

[46:10] Yeah.

[46:11] I think it is worth watching in that sense.

[46:13] And you get to see a retarded guy cooked inside a giant metal elephant.

[46:17] That's pretty good.

[46:18] Mentally challenged.

[46:19] Mentally, please, for our listeners, mentally challenged.

[46:22] Yeah, I would call it eerily adequate.

[46:26] I think it was not particularly good.

[46:28] But, yeah, it was not as bad as some of the other stuff we've seen lately

[46:30] and worth seeing if you are sick, home from work,

[46:34] and don't want to bother to change the channel.

[46:36] Yeah.

[46:37] I would say you can watch this.

[46:39] I agree with the general consensus.

[46:41] The movie looked pretty.

[46:42] Amanda Seyfried looked pretty.

[46:44] Kind of.

[46:45] Gary Oldman, beautiful.

[46:46] Gary Oldman was crazy.

[46:48] I liked his purple outfit.

[46:50] He was like Prince.

[46:52] Yeah, he was very regal.

[46:54] 20 thumbs up.

[46:55] Go see it.

[46:57] Wow, a million thumbs up.

[46:59] So, in the end, it was all right and best movie of the year.

[47:06] What's next, Daniel-san?

[47:08] I have some e-mails.

[47:11] This looks like a picture.

[47:12] Sweet.

[47:13] Letters from listeners.

[47:15] The Melbig.

[47:16] The first one is titled.

[47:18] There's no songs anymore.

[47:19] What?

[47:20] What?

[47:21] I know we talked a lot for a while,

[47:23] so I don't want to take up too much time with the song.

[47:25] Yeah, let's just take up time talking about how there's no song.

[47:27] Yeah.

[47:28] So, there's no songs this time, guys.

[47:29] No songs.

[47:30] Anyway.

[47:31] Letter time.

[47:32] Time for letters.

[47:34] Hey, letter time.

[47:36] It's called switcheroonie.

[47:37] The old change-up.

[47:39] This is titled.

[47:40] Flopper soundalikes.

[47:42] Very popular e-mail topic.

[47:45] Sarah here, frequent listener and second-time writer.

[47:47] What's her last name?

[47:48] And no Elliot and Stewart.

[47:49] I'm not Dan's wife.

[47:51] Oh, okay.

[47:52] We just share an awesome name.

[47:54] Just wanted to add my thoughts on something I heard on a recent episode of your

[47:57] Always Excellent podcast.

[47:58] A listener wrote in saying that he thought Elliot sounded like Mo Rocca

[48:01] and Stewart like Seth Rogen.

[48:03] I'd have to agree on Stewart's voice, but as for Elliot,

[48:05] I've always pictured Vincent Kartheiser.

[48:08] I hope this is more to Elliot's liking.

[48:10] As I believe he said, he didn't like the comparison to Mo.

[48:13] If not, then may I suggest Winston Zettler.

[48:17] Really, Ernie Hudson?

[48:19] Not even Ernie Hudson, but a character Ernie Hudson played.

[48:22] I was going to say Ernie Hudson from Hand that Rocks the Cradle.

[48:24] It would be closer.

[48:28] Well, thank you for those better comparisons.

[48:31] She says she hopes that she can come to the next Flophouse movie night.

[48:35] I heard it was a huge success, what with Dan's pizza order getting messed up

[48:38] and harassing her significant others on stage.

[48:42] From Sarah, not Dan's wife.

[48:44] I love that.

[48:46] For all of recorded history, none of the jokes from Twin Sitters,

[48:50] the screening will be remembered, but Dan getting his pizza order mixed up.

[48:55] And the sighs that accompanied that.

[48:59] Oh, pizza.

[49:02] Yes.

[49:04] There you go, Vincent.

[49:07] I wish it was Vincent Price.

[49:10] This is from Kelly, last name withheld.

[49:13] I think this one might be directed to you, Alex.

[49:15] Oh, good.

[49:17] It's about time.

[49:19] I was wondering if anyone there had heard of the book Shock Festival by Stephen Romano.

[49:24] It's a book with short histories of 100 fake B-movies,

[49:27] complete with posters, behind-the-scenes pictures, and interviews with the actors.

[49:31] It's a fun, weird-ass book with some awesome fake posters.

[49:34] I just wanted to mention it to you, as it might interest someone there.

[49:37] P.S., Dan just wanted to let you know that a while ago I bought the first issue of Whim Quarterly,

[49:43] but only recently got around to reading it, and so you're covered in ants,

[49:48] which is my contribution.

[49:49] She says it's one of my favorite things.

[49:51] I plan on making copies of it and sticking them to the fridges of every human being I know.

[49:55] So thank you, Kelly, for that inefficient method of Whim Quarterly.

[50:00] to that fan letter.

[50:01] I just wanted to talk about how people...

[50:03] It's like if I wrote in to Amazing Spider-Man,

[50:05] I said, hey, dear Spider-Crew, I love your book.

[50:08] Have you read any Ursula K. Le Guin?

[50:11] Because she is a great writer.

[50:13] P.S. I like the other thing you did

[50:15] that's unrelated to Spider-Man.

[50:18] Love, Kelly Kapowski.

[50:22] I think Kelly brings up an excellent point,

[50:25] which is that my contributions to Wim Quarterly are great.

[50:30] Right.

[50:32] That seems better for the Dan McCoy podcast.

[50:35] Real McCoy.

[50:36] This has been another episode of Dan McCoy Letter Editor.

[50:40] How many letters do we get complimenting me or Stuart

[50:43] for things that are not related to the Flophouse

[50:44] that you don't read?

[50:45] Zero.

[50:47] Moving on.

[50:48] This is from Paul Lastname Withheld.

[50:49] Thanks, Kelly.

[50:50] And thanks, Sarah, earlier.

[50:52] Paul Lastname Withheld, his email is titled, Gay Movies.

[50:56] Uh-oh.

[50:56] So, Stuart, this is for you.

[50:58] I think you guys need to do a movie like Cruising

[51:01] or the next best thing, something gay stupid

[51:04] that might shake Dan of his homophobia.

[51:06] Now, this is not a thing that, uh.

[51:09] No, it's Dan.

[51:10] You gotta open your mind.

[51:10] Dan's violently homophobic.

[51:12] Something gay stupid?

[51:14] Something gay stupid.

[51:15] Gay hyphen stupid.

[51:16] Oh, gay hyphen stupid.

[51:18] Yeah.

[51:18] Not gay stupid.

[51:19] Gay slash stupid.

[51:20] But in all seriousness, I want to thank you guys

[51:22] because you make me laugh when I could use it.

[51:24] It's hard to find people that can talk Ray Dennis Steckler

[51:27] or Kevin O'Rourke and whatnot.

[51:28] So, to you all, I say, hats off.

[51:31] Ray Dennis Steckler.

[51:32] Not Rayden, the protector of Earthrealm.

[51:34] No, Ray Dennis Steckler, the director slash writer

[51:36] slash actor, also known as Cash Flag.

[51:42] Gay movies, guys.

[51:44] I think the problem is there aren't that many gay movies

[51:46] in general, so to find a big Hollywood flop gay movie.

[51:51] There was a gay character in Valentine's Day.

[51:54] Was there?

[51:55] Yeah, the gay football player.

[51:57] Who was in love with Bradley Cooper.

[51:59] That's right.

[52:00] And he played by the guy from Grey's Anatomy.

[52:02] Yeah.

[52:03] But yeah, I guess we can look out for that in the future.

[52:06] I mean, I don't think Flophouse believes in a quota system.

[52:09] But, you know, we can be more open-minded.

[52:13] No, we're not more open-minded.

[52:14] Hollywood is not making terrible gay movies.

[52:17] Well, you're not that open-minded.

[52:18] So, get on the horn to Hollywood

[52:19] and demand awful, stupid gay movies.

[52:23] Tell them to make a terrible movie about a gay monster.

[52:25] Starring Sean Hayes, probably, Stewart assumes.

[52:30] Stewart loves Sean Hayes.

[52:33] Well, he's hilarious.

[52:35] He's been a performer in the history of filmed comedy.

[52:39] In the history of people speaking out loud.

[52:44] Yeah, no, I mean, it's not really a joke anymore, guys.

[52:47] It's pretty serious.

[52:50] So, Sean Hayes cast.

[52:51] Okay, on to the next.

[52:52] Sean Hayes advocacy podcast.

[52:55] You can sign my petition later.

[52:57] So, this is.

[52:59] What's the petition for what?

[53:00] Sean Hayes?

[53:01] No, for me to make the Sean Hayes podcast.

[53:03] Oh, okay.

[53:04] And for you to replace Sean Hayes.

[53:06] Well, like what?

[53:06] Like I take his skin and put it on my body?

[53:08] No, that's horrifying.

[53:11] Why would that be?

[53:12] It's October.

[53:13] I thought I'd do a scary thing.

[53:14] Okay, well, let's be scary then.

[53:15] Ooh.

[53:18] Good job, Stewart.

[53:19] Boogity-boo.

[53:20] Yep, terrifying.

[53:22] So, just Sean Hayes.

[53:24] I wanna make, by the way, while we're in the letters,

[53:26] I wanted to mention something that I forgot

[53:28] if it was corrected before.

[53:30] Someone wrote in talking about the night court bit

[53:33] from an earlier episode.

[53:34] I was notified by a listener

[53:37] that that was in the ugly truth episode.

[53:39] Yes.

[53:40] And I wanna issue a correction about something I said

[53:41] back in the happiest millionaire.

[53:43] Everyone wants to go back and listen to that.

[53:45] It's the ugly truth episode.

[53:46] What did you say, Dan?

[53:47] With the vibrating underpants.

[53:50] Yes, yeah.

[53:51] In the happiest millionaire,

[53:52] I mistakenly said that Lesley-Ann Warren

[53:54] was in the show Taxi.

[53:55] I was, of course, thinking of Marilu Henner.

[53:58] So, is this the apology part of the podcast?

[54:02] What's going on here?

[54:03] Anyway.

[54:04] This is the retcon part of the podcast.

[54:05] Moving on to Beth Lastname Withheld.

[54:07] And she says, her email is titled,

[54:10] Flophouse Fan at DragonCon.

[54:12] Awesome.

[54:13] I recently attended the DragonCon Sci-Fi Fantasy Convention

[54:16] in Atlanta for the first time.

[54:18] I was wandering around-

[54:18] In flop-lanta.

[54:19] Lost in a sea of Doctor Whos and Stormtroopers

[54:22] when I caught a glimpse of pink, or perhaps peach,

[54:25] out of the corner of my eye.

[54:26] An original peach.

[54:28] I had to assume she was dressed as such

[54:30] in support of the Flophouse.

[54:32] A decision which I wholeheartedly support.

[54:35] Your nerdy fan base is strong.

[54:36] I attach this photographic evidence.

[54:38] And as you see here-

[54:39] They're dressed as one of the players

[54:40] from A League of Their Own.

[54:42] Oh, right.

[54:43] One of the original peaches.

[54:45] Number 32, in fact.

[54:46] Nerd favorite movie.

[54:48] Or that might be A League of Their Own.

[54:49] That might actually be Lori Petty.

[54:51] That's the other-

[54:52] That's possible. Option.

[54:53] Dan, that's your number from the movie, isn't it?

[54:54] 32?

[54:55] Sure.

[54:56] That's awesome.

[54:57] In your character of Betty Spaghetti,

[54:59] the one who finds out her husband died in the war.

[55:01] Oh, why?

[55:03] You auditioned for the role?

[55:05] I don't think I can stop you.

[55:06] Oh, it's so sad.

[55:08] That's Tank Girl in that one, right?

[55:09] Yes, Tank Girl.

[55:11] Tank Girl and the Earth Girl, who's easy.

[55:13] And Madonna.

[55:16] And what's your name from Exit to Eden?

[55:19] Point Break.

[55:21] Wait, Point Break?

[55:22] Point Break?

[55:23] I'm talking about Lori Petty.

[55:24] Oh.

[55:26] Keep up the good work.

[55:27] It's Tank Girl.

[55:28] Yeah.

[55:28] And maybe next year we'll see some fans

[55:30] dressed as Psyguy, Lustache, and The Corrector.

[55:33] I'm hoping for a few Leonardo's

[55:34] and Scrooge McDucks as well.

[55:36] That would be wonderful.

[55:37] What about Leonardo Scrooge McDucks?

[55:39] Yeah.

[55:42] Maybe at Flopcon 2012,

[55:44] also known as the New York Comic Con.

[55:46] Yeah, what are you gonna dress up

[55:47] when you go to Flopcon 2012?

[55:49] Oh, man, you're really putting me on the spot there.

[55:51] I don't have one.

[55:52] Probably another Luigi.

[55:54] Just, I'd like to be the fifth Luigi.

[55:57] Yeah, when we were walking over,

[55:58] you were saying how we'd really like to be Luigi.

[56:01] Like, that's shooting high.

[56:02] He's not even gonna be Mario,

[56:03] he's just gonna be Luigi.

[56:05] It's not like you said he wanted to be Toad.

[56:07] I wanna be that famous guy's brother.

[56:08] Well, at Gen Con, there were like five Luigis

[56:11] and one Mario, and the Mario had just sort of phoned it in.

[56:15] And the Luigis were great.

[56:16] Well, Mario might not have been in the costume.

[56:17] He might have just been a big Italian guy.

[56:19] It's like, oh, there's some plumbing around here

[56:22] that needs to be fixed.

[56:23] Yeah, he's fixing the plumbing

[56:24] while the costume parade's going on.

[56:29] And our final email of the evening

[56:32] is titled, Stop Lying, Elliot.

[56:35] Wait a minute.

[56:36] And it's from Michael Lastin Withheld,

[56:39] and it says.

[56:39] So these letters are either giving Dan congratulations

[56:43] or attacking me.

[56:44] Last name withheld, huh?

[56:45] Well, I deserve to know the name of my accuser.

[56:48] If this is a fair court of law.

[56:50] It is not.

[56:51] This trial is a travesty.

[56:52] It's a sham.

[56:53] It's a mockery.

[56:55] It's a Colin mockery.

[56:56] It's a mockery of two shams.

[56:59] He says, all of these modest claims

[57:02] that you aren't good friends with Anne Hathaway,

[57:03] then how do you explain this sentence?

[57:05] I had a feeling it was about Anne Hathaway.

[57:06] I stumbled upon.

[57:07] On Wikipedia?

[57:08] On your Wikipedia page.

[57:10] Quote, during his time in New Jersey,

[57:13] Kaelin began his friendship with actress Anne Hathaway,

[57:15] a relationship that remains to this day.

[57:19] They wrote, hmm?

[57:21] Well, Michael, I am happy to tell,

[57:24] or I'm not happy to tell you, I guess.

[57:25] I am sad to inform you that that line

[57:27] was put in by some sort of perpetrator,

[57:29] who also added to my IMDB page in the trivia section

[57:33] that I'm good friends with Anne Hathaway.

[57:36] Neither of these are true.

[57:38] I have not spoken to Ms. Hathaway in many years.

[57:43] And even in the times when I could have,

[57:44] did not speak much.

[57:46] Well, we didn't know each other.

[57:48] We were in two different grades and had nothing in common.

[57:50] Like a biblical way?

[57:51] I mean, I didn't.

[57:52] In biblical way?

[57:53] Yeah, a C-parted.

[57:54] No, I mean, you didn't know each other in a biblical way.

[57:57] I mean, that too, but no, we're not friends.

[58:00] I mean, I don't want to start any rumors around here.

[58:02] Too many rumors have already started.

[58:04] And some flop listener went on to those two pages

[58:08] and added that in.

[58:09] They also added to the end of my Wikipedia page

[58:10] that I enjoy words that sound like other words.

[58:14] It is true, though.

[58:15] How do you know that that's a flop house listener

[58:16] that added those things?

[58:18] I don't know where else they would have gotten

[58:19] those ideas from.

[58:20] What about that one girl, the bondage enthusiast that-

[58:23] She knew me through my newspaper column.

[58:25] She didn't, I never mentioned-

[58:26] And you didn't talk about your friend Anne Hathaway on there?

[58:27] I never did, not a friend of mine.

[58:30] Someone I knew, barely, not someone I disliked.

[58:33] Barely?

[58:34] Like if you saw her at a party,

[58:35] you'd give her like a knowing nod?

[58:36] I don't think she'd remember who I was.

[58:39] Barely like if she was dressed up as a bear.

[58:41] You would know her.

[58:42] I'd recognize her better in a bear costume, yeah.

[58:45] That's what she wore in high school.

[58:46] She was a bear cosplayer.

[58:49] Well, I appreciate the time and effort

[58:52] that our listeners are putting into defacing

[58:55] Elliot's Wikipedia page.

[58:57] I think it's sad that they're not putting that time

[59:00] and effort into creating Wikipedia pages

[59:02] for me and Stuart.

[59:03] Or for the flop house in general.

[59:04] Or for the flop house in general.

[59:05] Oh, that's a good point, that's a really good point.

[59:08] What was that Wikipedia page that you kept?

[59:10] I don't have one either, so if anybody wants to send that one.

[59:12] But we've been talking about Wikipedia a lot, Alex.

[59:14] Didn't you want to plug that?

[59:15] No, I sure don't.

[59:16] Okay.

[59:17] Okay, so that's a mystery left best undiscovered,

[59:22] I suppose.

[59:24] Listeners, there's a mystery somewhere on Wikipedia.

[59:26] Check it out this weekend.

[59:29] So search for mystery.

[59:32] All right, well, we're running long,

[59:33] so I think we're gonna cut out the recommendation.

[59:37] Cut out the recommendations and just bullshit

[59:40] with my buddies.

[59:41] Just see what happens.

[59:42] How about we recommend another great podcast?

[59:45] Yeah, how about we do that?

[59:45] It's called How Did This Get Made?

[59:48] It's a bad movie podcast.

[59:51] They address why.

[59:53] Where they just go, how did this get made?

[59:54] Over and over and over again.

[59:58] I know, Alex, you've got a number of projects.

[1:00:00] to use this time.

[1:00:01] Yeah, talented, this guy.

[1:00:04] Thanks, thanks guys.

[1:00:05] You're gonna cut this section out afterwards, right Dan?

[1:00:07] Yeah.

[1:00:08] Okay, yeah, go ahead Alex.

[1:00:09] You wanna know?

[1:00:09] Tell us about your projects.

[1:00:10] Let me give you a good pause.

[1:00:11] You want me to clap for you so you can find it visually?

[1:00:15] The audio.

[1:00:16] Okay, I'll give you a clap

[1:00:18] and then I'll plug my projects.

[1:00:22] Yeah, I have a podcast called Probably Not Podcast

[1:00:24] with my friends Tony and Jessica.

[1:00:26] Check it out.

[1:00:27] It's on iTunes.

[1:00:28] They don't have names to me.

[1:00:29] Probably Not Podcast or write into us

[1:00:31] at probablynotpodcast at gmail.com.

[1:00:33] That's an email, so easy to remember.

[1:00:35] So much better than the Flophouse email,

[1:00:37] which is what?

[1:00:38] Flophouse at podcast.gmail.flop.com?

[1:00:41] Flophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[1:00:43] At the internet.america?

[1:00:45] Care of the World Wide Web.

[1:00:48] Actually .uk for some reason, so I don't know.

[1:00:52] Internet America, 00141.

[1:00:54] What about your musical endeavors?

[1:00:57] Yeah, I have one album out that I kind of did myself.

[1:01:01] It's under the name Lydia Burrell, L-Y-D-I-A-B-U-R-R-E-L-L.

[1:01:06] And that's available again on removeador.com.

[1:01:09] You can actually, if you go to removeador.com,

[1:01:13] you can listen to the whole thing.

[1:01:15] And if you feel like purchasing it.

[1:01:18] This is Dan breaking in here for a second.

[1:01:20] Alex was so kind as to provide us

[1:01:23] with a new track from Lydia Burrell,

[1:01:26] which is appended at the end of this episode

[1:01:28] after the theme and the outtakes.

[1:01:30] So if you want to listen to hear what the band sounds like,

[1:01:34] wait around and you can check that out

[1:01:36] at the end of the episode.

[1:01:37] All right, back to the conversation.

[1:01:39] You can get it there or get it on iTunes or Amazon.

[1:01:42] But you're gonna want to as soon as you start listening.

[1:01:44] Now that's that door removing service, right?

[1:01:46] Yes, they remove one door.

[1:01:48] They will remove a single door.

[1:01:50] Okay.

[1:01:51] Choose wisely, only one door per customer.

[1:01:54] Just get rid of the one you really can't use.

[1:01:56] We just finished, so I did that record by myself

[1:01:59] and then we just finished a new record

[1:02:02] that should be out early next year.

[1:02:03] If you do like what you hear,

[1:02:05] whether or not you want to check out or buy the record,

[1:02:10] if you like us on Facebook,

[1:02:11] you will have information about how to get that record

[1:02:15] when it's eventually out.

[1:02:17] Yeah, that's, so yeah.

[1:02:21] Rock and roll is here to stay, right?

[1:02:25] Yeah.

[1:02:27] That was the coolest thing you've ever said, Dan.

[1:02:29] And what a cool way to say it.

[1:02:32] Is that Dan McCoy or is that Johnny McCool?

[1:02:36] You want to make sure that the kids that are listening

[1:02:38] know that we're down with them.

[1:02:40] We're still up with the rock and roll.

[1:02:44] So another Shocktober.

[1:02:46] Comes to a close.

[1:02:47] Sputters to a halt.

[1:02:49] Dies with not a bang, but a whimper.

[1:02:51] Guys, I think we really knocked this one out of the park.

[1:02:53] Fenway Park.

[1:02:55] A haunted Fenway Park.

[1:02:57] Shocktober.

[1:03:00] What are we going to do for Love Nember?

[1:03:02] I guess that's the November.

[1:03:05] Yeah, isn't that where we watch romance movies?

[1:03:08] Cass and Heigl movies.

[1:03:09] Oh, I mean, there's been so many good picks

[1:03:11] that have been stacking up.

[1:03:13] Stacking them picks.

[1:03:16] You know what, maybe we'll talk about it later.

[1:03:17] Country Strong, maybe.

[1:03:19] Oh yeah, we've got to do Country Strong.

[1:03:20] Or that Green Lantern.

[1:03:22] Green Lantern, yeah.

[1:03:23] You guys still haven't done Marmaduke, have you?

[1:03:25] We still have not done Marmaduke, that's true.

[1:03:28] Oh, get ready for that, floppers.

[1:03:29] So much crap.

[1:03:31] Until then, let's sign off.

[1:03:33] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:03:35] Oh, I'm still Stuart Wellington.

[1:03:37] I am Elliot Kalin in this sense.

[1:03:40] I want to thank you guys for letting me come

[1:03:42] and hang out and do this.

[1:03:44] It's been fun.

[1:03:45] I'm Alex Smith.

[1:03:46] Yay!

[1:03:47] The best man.

[1:03:50] And the two worst.

[1:03:51] Wait, what?

[1:03:53] Hold on a second.

[1:04:00] This episode is just going to be me plugging things.

[1:04:02] And Dan saying, shut up, shut up.

[1:04:04] Shut, shut, shut it.

[1:04:07] So animated.

[1:04:09] Hey guys.

[1:04:09] We got Dr. Katz over here.

[1:04:13] Yeah, that's the most animated show you can think of.

[1:04:15] Dr. Katz.

[1:04:18] 9am meeting over here.

[1:05:15] Without getting caught

[1:05:18] Outside in summer

[1:05:20] You have to be insane

[1:05:23] Spend it all in the dark

[1:05:25] Cutting up the parts

[1:05:27] Of the people you've slain

[1:05:29] When all the birds are free

[1:05:35] And all the foxes read

[1:05:41] They'll sing these pictures

[1:05:44] Hey

[1:05:46] They've done nothing

[1:05:48] But airbrush mistakes

[1:05:52] And you're not alone

[1:05:55] In seating defeat

[1:05:58] When everyone knows

[1:06:00] You've outlived all the great

[1:06:04] And nothing we have

[1:06:06] Is worth the space it takes

[1:06:09] So how on earth

[1:06:11] Have you kept this pace

[1:06:13] Without a crust

[1:06:15] We fly along towards

[1:06:18] A future that's fake

[1:06:21] And the gravity is great

[1:06:24] But we carry our weight

[1:06:39] We carry our weight

[1:07:01] Given the chance

[1:07:04] To do what you want

[1:07:07] We live a moment

[1:07:10] From this moment on

[1:07:13] But it's getting hotter

[1:07:16] And money isn't cheap

[1:07:19] All of us heroes

[1:07:22] Living like me

[1:07:25] When all the boats are here

[1:07:30] And the media underneath you

[1:07:36] They'll say these pictures are fake

[1:07:41] But they got caught up

[1:07:43] In dreams and mistakes

The Flop House: Episode #90 - Red Riding Hood

Transcript

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