The Flop House: Episode #97 - Awards Floptacular 2012

[0:00] It's the 2012 Awards Blocktacular, where all of Hollywood's dimmest stars come out to shine!

[0:31] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:38] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:40] I said that the way you say Stuart Wellington.

[0:42] It's pretty good.

[0:43] Hey, it's the traditionally cursed episode.

[0:45] Don't say hey to us. Treat us like human beings. We're not animals.

[0:49] Hey, would you like some of this hay, Elliot?

[0:51] Yes, I guess I am an animal. I enjoy eating hay.

[0:54] Because you're a ruminant.

[0:56] What? You eat it and it goes into one of your four stomachs?

[1:00] Well, I have a wife. I hardly call her a roommate.

[1:02] Yeah, we live in the same place, but...

[1:04] Okay, this is the worst who's on first ever.

[1:07] No, I was just saying that this is our...

[1:09] Four stomachs.

[1:11] Four stomachs.

[1:13] I thought that my four stomachs material was going to kill you guys, but no.

[1:17] This is our awards floptacular episode.

[1:20] What's that mean?

[1:22] We said it's the one episode a year where we don't watch a movie beforehand.

[1:27] We just talk about the awards, the Academy Awards.

[1:31] What awards would those be?

[1:33] The Academy Awards, the Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

[1:36] Oscars.

[1:37] Oscars.

[1:38] Yeah, the grouchies.

[1:40] The awards given out by Oscar the Grouch for Best Garbage.

[1:43] The Grimsby's.

[1:45] So, and we're also recording this on a leap day, so there's a good chance that it'll get a...

[1:51] It'll get crazy.

[1:52] Sucked into a portal of time.

[1:55] I don't know why that would happen.

[1:57] Because don't these things only happen on grand conjunctions or something?

[2:00] I don't – just once every four years.

[2:02] Okay.

[2:03] Now, what's it going to – what it means actually...

[2:05] Grand conjunctivitis is what you're asking.

[2:07] What it means actually, Stuart, is that because your apprenticeship was set to end with this podcast, you're actually forced to do this podcast for another four years.

[2:16] Oh, wow.

[2:17] Yeah.

[2:18] My sorcerer's apprenticeship.

[2:20] Yeah.

[2:21] That's a movie we watched for the flop house earlier this year, guys.

[2:24] That's a callback to all our listeners.

[2:26] We'll do some other callbacks later on in the show, probably.

[2:28] Yep, and some back calls and some cock balls.

[2:31] That's – you take callback and you move the A-L-L and the C-K.

[2:34] Why? Does it mean something else?

[2:36] Not that I can think of.

[2:38] Okay.

[2:39] So, the Oscars.

[2:41] I tell by our rambling that it was a really exciting broadcast.

[2:47] Was it?

[2:48] There was Billy Crystal singing.

[2:49] There was music.

[2:50] Billy Crystal sang that stupid song he sings every year.

[2:53] I mean that's already –

[2:54] Acrobatics.

[2:55] I mean I don't know about you guys, but I was already concerned that it was going to be boring when I saw that Billy Crystal was hosting.

[3:03] No offense, Billy Crystal.

[3:04] He's just done that a lot.

[3:05] No, that is the only way Billy Crystal can take that as with offense.

[3:08] He's been boring.

[3:09] You mean?

[3:10] He's done that a lot.

[3:11] Whoa!

[3:12] Low blow.

[3:13] Low blow.

[3:14] He is an octogenarian who has put in his time – no, he's not.

[3:18] He's – well, he's schticky.

[3:21] I'll say that for him.

[3:22] Yeah, like that product they sell on TV that cleans up cat hair.

[3:26] It's called schticky.

[3:27] It was probably the most boring Oscars I can remember seeing, and it's a big – let's just get this out of the way.

[3:33] Every year, everyone says that was the worst Oscars ever.

[3:36] Every year.

[3:37] Yeah.

[3:38] This is the first time I agree with them.

[3:39] Yeah.

[3:40] Last year, everyone was like this was the worst Oscars ever.

[3:42] Anne Hathaway and James Franco.

[3:44] How awkward.

[3:45] I could use a double dose of Franco and Anne Hathaway.

[3:47] Yeah.

[3:48] Last year, it was an Oscars where I was like this didn't totally work, but they tried some different things.

[3:52] At least it had some kind of energy even if it was nervous energy.

[3:55] But this year, it was like on autopilot.

[3:57] It was just like get Billy Crystal, insert the Oscars disc so he can run that program, and then everyone else, the same old stars, just walk out and do whatever.

[4:07] And let's keep this moving as quickly as possible.

[4:10] Let's keep it moving unless we're having a montage of actors talking to the camera about how great movies are.

[4:16] Or worse yet, that opening montage, which was just like these are the most montaged scenes of the past 50 years.

[4:25] He's like movies are great.

[4:26] Here's a little reminder, and then it's like we're going to need a bigger boat.

[4:30] We can't refuse.

[4:32] King of the world.

[4:33] King of the world.

[4:34] Life is like a box of chocolates.

[4:37] It was almost like Keanu Reeves and the Matrix.

[4:40] Instead of teaching them kung fu, they were like, by the way, here's a quick history of all the movies that beat box office records over the past 20 years, and they just shoved those scenes in his head.

[4:51] That reminds me.

[4:52] They've been advertising the upcoming Titanic release in 3D, and the commercials say from the director of Avatar.

[5:01] So they're using the biggest grossing movie of all time to promote the second biggest grossing movie of all time.

[5:07] Well, because there's a generation of young teenage girls and boys, I assume, but mostly girls who would want to see it but who don't know James Cameron and don't know the old Titanic show.

[5:16] They love blue aliens and Ferngo and shit.

[5:19] Teach me about history.

[5:20] Teach me about boats sinking.

[5:22] Teach me about hearts and how they go on.

[5:26] And about posing for nude pictures in the back of old-timey cars.

[5:29] I mean I think a new generation needs to learn about that.

[5:32] If he introduces a new generation to Billy Zane, I'm all for it.

[5:38] Because you know what?

[5:39] He's struggling a little right now, guys.

[5:41] He is.

[5:42] He's not doing – this is not the age of Zane.

[5:44] Let's just say that.

[5:47] But yeah, it was just an autopilot Oscars, like super dull and super rote.

[5:54] It was like these big stars would walk out and it was like Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, like Robert Downey Jr.

[6:02] I feel like these are the same stars we see all the time in the movies, not television.

[6:06] And one of the things that was most exciting to me last year was when Kirk Douglas came out and everyone was like, oh, he looks so old.

[6:13] Why is he on television?

[6:15] Yeah, who let Mumra out of his tomb?

[6:17] Shouldn't he be fighting Lionel?

[6:19] That was me, and I was complaining the whole time.

[6:22] Really?

[6:23] I think it was Mumra.

[6:24] I was like, is that a Skeksis?

[6:26] Is this a thing for Jim Henson?

[6:28] What's going on?

[6:29] But like it was very exciting to me at least and I assume to old people to see like –

[6:33] Like you.

[6:34] Yeah, like me.

[6:35] People who are old at heart, to see like an old star who is genuinely iconic and you don't see that much anymore.

[6:42] Like he hasn't done movies since – what was his last one?

[6:45] Like Diamonds or whatever it was called, the movie he made with Dan Aykroyd.

[6:49] Yeah.

[6:50] And there's the one he made with Michael Douglas too.

[6:54] Maybe that was Diamonds.

[6:56] And he hasn't been in the tabloids lately for all his partying.

[7:00] No.

[7:01] Well, because he's been recovering over the past number of years from a stroke, but –

[7:04] Oh.

[7:05] So he hasn't been having like stroke parties, but –

[7:07] Is that a thing?

[7:08] You invite the strokes to play and – but like –

[7:12] Well, you do stroke parties a lot different than the way I do stroke parties.

[7:15] But it was really –

[7:16] Usually it's a party of one.

[7:17] But there was something that seemed –

[7:19] Waiter, party of one please.

[7:21] Masturbating, party of one.

[7:24] You'll need to come by later on with your rag.

[7:28] Oh.

[7:30] What?

[7:31] Oh, you don't – I can't believe you do that.

[7:33] See, you have a perfectly good cat in your apartment.

[7:36] Why don't you just entice it over?

[7:39] Thank you, Stuart, for taking the heat off of me.

[7:42] Gross.

[7:43] So anyway, what I was saying about Kirk Douglas was there was something special about it.

[7:47] It's not someone you see a lot, and on Mark Evanier's blog, he was talking about how like they needed –

[7:53] they could have like switched up the presenters, like have somebody –

[7:57] somebody you don't see a lot come out and his –

[8:00] I think what he suggests like Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner come out and present something

[8:03] or like Roger Ebert comes out and presents something with his like computer program voice,

[8:08] just like something that would make it feel like a special event,

[8:10] like they're pulling out the stops and things you wouldn't normally see.

[8:14] Well, speaking of the elderly, can I talk about the two things that actually –

[8:18] More about Billy Crystal?

[8:19] Okay.

[8:20] No, can I tell you about the two things that actively angered me about this thing this year?

[8:25] Number one –

[8:26] It went on way too long.

[8:28] No, the opposite of that.

[8:29] Way past your bedtime.

[8:30] Once again, they snubbed a pagoda.

[8:32] In the interest of speed, I guess, or maybe just trying to keep people young,

[8:40] they yet again shunted off the Lifetime Achievement honorary stuff.

[8:44] Yeah, to a pre-taped thing.

[8:45] To a pre-taped thing.

[8:46] So you just get like quick snippets of like James Earl Jones and like the –

[8:51] Dick Smith, right?

[8:52] Dick Smith, the –

[8:53] Makeup artist.

[8:54] Makeup artist.

[8:55] Well, you'd think they'd at least put – they'd want Oprah on the primetime cast.

[8:58] Yeah.

[8:59] They said they didn't, but like how much more exciting would it have been to have James Earl Jones,

[9:03] who hasn't done a movie in forever, to have him give a speech than to have like –

[9:08] I don't know.

[9:09] Who talked in the thing?

[9:10] Like Gwyneth Paltrow?

[9:12] To have Cameron –

[9:13] Cameron Diaz and J. Lo.

[9:15] Cameron Diaz and J. Lo just sticking their butts at the camera?

[9:18] Presented to us like bonobos.

[9:20] So that was a thing.

[9:22] But also –

[9:23] I didn't pay attention to Remus.

[9:24] So that angered me.

[9:25] Really?

[9:26] The part with – about women's butts, you didn't pay attention to it?

[9:28] Yeah, I was – I missed that part.

[9:30] That was also the part where people were arguing over whether there was a nip slip on the internet.

[9:35] Oh, no, no, no.

[9:36] I paid attention to that part.

[9:37] I didn't see the butt part.

[9:38] So what you saw was you were so busy investigating the nip slip that you –

[9:41] Yeah, exactly.

[9:42] Well, I was quickly live blogging.

[9:43] So do your eyeballs – do they shut off when like the posterior is pushed?

[9:47] Yeah, of course.

[9:48] Fourth.

[9:49] It goes – I start playing old-timey movies in the back of my head.

[9:52] Old-timey movies?

[9:53] Shutters come down.

[9:54] Like Goonies and –

[9:56] Oh, old-timey, yeah.

[9:58] Star Wars.

[9:59] Yeah, like –

[10:00] The Phantom Menace. The classics in 3D. The canonical classics. Sure.

[10:05] So put that anger to me. Dreamscape. Dream Quest. Ice Pirates. All the best movies.

[10:12] Cloak and Dagger. Now we're just naming movies, guys. The Falcon and the Snowman.

[10:17] Flight of the Navigators. Little Games. Baby Legend of the Lost Dinosaur.

[10:24] That's actually a movie. Secret of NIMH. It's called Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of NIMH.

[10:29] No, it's not. The movie's called Secret of NIMH. Oh, yeah, that's right. Secret of NIMH.

[10:32] John Bluth. Ruining the titles of our classics. So, yeah, classics like The Pebble and the Penguin.

[10:38] And Rock and a Dope. And Gnome in Central Park. And Balto.

[10:44] No, I agree with you. It felt a little bit like the first time I went into a movie theater

[10:50] and I went in expecting to see, like, the movie trivia and actually have trivia.

[10:55] Interesting trivia that you might not get. And instead it was all just commercials for movies that are about to be released.

[11:01] Oh, yeah. Or currently in theaters. Or TNT shows. Yeah. And that's kind of how it felt.

[11:07] Like, it felt like everything that everybody that went up there was either had been doing stuff very consistently

[11:14] or was super famous or had a movie to plug. Yeah.

[11:19] But also, I mean, like, you talk about, Elliot, how, like, the Oscars are really just an advertisement for movies.

[11:24] Yeah. And they're advertising it in, like, the most rote, cheap way.

[11:28] Like, if they're making – they're devaluing movies by putting, like, a slap of, like, gold paint over the movies

[11:35] rather than having it, like, gilded all the way through.

[11:37] Yeah, well, because –

[11:38] Like, if they honored the actual idea of there being a history to the movies, that's more of an idea of true glamour, I feel like.

[11:44] And to present the next award, Ben Stiller and a can of Pepsi.

[11:49] You are delicious, Pepsi.

[11:51] Although –

[11:52] And affordable.

[11:53] Ben Stiller and Emma Stone was one of the few times I genuinely laughed at something that was happening.

[11:56] I don't know. It went on for a long time.

[12:00] Yeah, but she seemed to genuinely – like, she cared about the bit that she was doing.

[12:03] Like, everyone else, like, was selling out the bits and, like, the bits are terrible, that's all.

[12:07] But she managed to almost make that work through the force of –

[12:11] She's got a pair of stones.

[12:13] She's a pretty girl next door, see? I mean –

[12:15] Who did you live next door to? Emma Stone?

[12:18] A super hot cool girl.

[12:22] Who fought zombies.

[12:24] The other thing that bothered me, though, was along the same lines, was the in-memoriam.

[12:27] Like, the in-memoriam looked like it was made on, like, an old MacBook.

[12:31] Like, you know, it was just like –

[12:33] A MacBook Pro.

[12:34] Yeah, but it was just white fade-ins and fade-out of pictures.

[12:37] Like, it was only – it was like halfway through before they showed any film clips at all, and there were very few film clips for the entire in-memoriam.

[12:46] I mean they had a lot of people in that listing that were not actors.

[12:50] And maybe they're trying to expand that so it's not so actor-focused, which is an honor, but –

[12:54] The content of it, there were a lot more people who worked on the technical side of movies, which is something I appreciated.

[12:59] But you can still show some of their work. I mean that's the thing.

[13:01] I guess so. That's true.

[13:03] Like, if you care about what their work was, like, show that.

[13:05] I should teach people who don't know who those people are what they did.

[13:08] But I was just so – like, I was just so happy that they ended on Elizabeth Taylor and not Whitney Houston.

[13:15] Now, on that subject –

[13:17] That's fine, but as far as I'm concerned, the best part of in-memoriam is, like, you take a walk through people's work.

[13:22] Like, people who have left us, like, this is the actual work they did.

[13:25] Like in Rocky Balboa, how he walks through his memories.

[13:27] Yeah, but this is why we're honoring these people. This is why we're remembering them. They did these things.

[13:32] And I agree with you. I would love it if the whole show was – I would love it if that was sprinkled throughout the show and it was just award, obituary, award, obituary.

[13:40] But to them, that is a – just an obligatory thing they have to get through.

[13:45] But that is the thing that, like, everyone every year actually cares about.

[13:49] Like, that is one part of the Oscar ceremony that people who are viewers actually care about.

[13:54] Like, whether they care about it, like, in the way that, like, you might care about it.

[13:58] You're like, OK, this is, like, movie history.

[14:00] Or they just care about it just like, who's going to be in this year?

[14:03] I mean, that's what –

[14:04] Like, who are they going to end on?

[14:05] I think you hit it when you said that's what reviewers care about.

[14:07] Yeah.

[14:08] But they're not trying to get reviewers. They're trying to get audience members because –

[14:11] Trying to get butts in the seats.

[14:12] Exactly, because the problem with the Oscars –

[14:14] The butts are already in the seats, too.

[14:15] The problem –

[14:16] They're honored to be there.

[14:17] The problem with – but the home butts.

[14:18] OK.

[14:19] The problem with the Oscars –

[14:20] That's a great, great movie, by the way, Home Butts.

[14:22] The problem with the Oscars, as with the Emmys, is that these are not real award ceremonies.

[14:29] These are television programs.

[14:31] Whoa, whoa. Emmy winner Elliot Kalin. This is the Emmys.

[14:34] Now that I have two of them, I can tell you it's all fake.

[14:36] But these are treated like television shows that happen to be about awards being given out.

[14:41] And the important thing to them is not we're going to really honor the people who won tonight.

[14:46] We're going to honor this industry.

[14:48] It is we got to put together an Oscars that finally gets big ratings and that draws eyeballs and interests young people.

[14:54] And it's treated like a competitive television program.

[14:58] It does get good enough ratings. That's the thing.

[15:00] It gets good enough ratings that they haven't yet canceled it, but it doesn't get the ratings it got in the 70s or the 80s.

[15:06] But it's never going to.

[15:07] But they –

[15:08] Nothing on television is.

[15:09] But they want it to.

[15:10] But nothing on television is.

[15:11] And frankly at this point, it doesn't get the ratings that it needs to justify the money spent on it by networks is part of it.

[15:18] Like to carry the Oscars or the Emmys used to be like a big thing.

[15:23] Like we got it this year, and now it's just like, oh, shit.

[15:26] It's our turn I guess.

[15:27] Well, all right.

[15:28] We'll run this turd.

[15:29] We'll make it happen.

[15:31] It's going to smell no matter what.

[15:33] It's going to stink.

[15:34] We'll just hold our noses and just put Billy Crystal out there and hope everyone forgets about it by next year.

[15:40] All right.

[15:41] Well, now that I've vented my spleen a little, you guys can talk about something else.

[15:44] I was going to say those vents are beautiful.

[15:46] Did you get those done recently?

[15:47] Yeah.

[15:48] Because I've been looking into spleen vents, and they're very expensive.

[15:50] The thing is to recess them so you don't really see them from the outside.

[15:54] Yeah.

[15:55] I had to look very closely.

[15:56] That's expensive bioware.

[15:57] So on the subject of –

[15:59] Existence.

[16:01] What?

[16:02] On the subject of Whitney Houston, I was arguing with my buddies in the –

[16:07] In the Army.

[16:08] Yeah, in the video game chat rooms.

[16:10] Just kidding.

[16:13] But I was arguing –

[16:14] Just kidding.

[16:15] They're message boards.

[16:16] Yeah.

[16:17] I was arguing – so, I mean, she died right in 2012.

[16:23] She died right.

[16:24] It's not like she died –

[16:26] Because there's someone who's been calling me saying she's Whitney Houston, and everyone thinks she's dead, but she's not.

[16:29] I don't think her death fell within the Oscars category window.

[16:34] They always get – no, the deaths aren't by the same deadlines that the movie nominees are.

[16:39] Okay.

[16:40] And they always get in trouble because –

[16:42] It's not like people need to die for a week in L.A. just to qualify for the Oscars.

[16:45] Okay.

[16:46] And every year – nice one.

[16:47] Sure.

[16:48] And every year, they get shat on by somebody for forgetting someone who died like right before the awards.

[16:55] So I think they just err on the side of –

[16:56] And when they forgot Sarah Marshall.

[16:57] That was terrible.

[16:59] She died.

[17:00] She was not on the movie.

[17:01] That was a movie.

[17:02] It's the name of a movie, Elliot.

[17:04] Dying Sarah Marshall?

[17:05] Yes.

[17:06] Okay.

[17:07] Well, I guess I lost the argument.

[17:10] So Noob Slayer 27, I owe you a Mountain Dew.

[17:16] Noob Slayer 28.

[17:17] I still stand by my point.

[17:18] Sure.

[17:19] But it hurt that this was an Oscars where a lot of the movies were not big movies.

[17:24] Like there were no –

[17:26] Avatars.

[17:27] There were no Avatars.

[17:28] Titanic.

[17:29] There were no Lords of the Ringses.

[17:30] There were no Titanics.

[17:32] There were no –

[17:33] Inceptions.

[17:34] There were no Inceptions.

[17:35] No Darks Nights.

[17:36] Keep it up.

[17:37] I'll add letters to all sorts of words.

[17:40] You make fun of me for reciting song lyrics as if they're jokes.

[17:45] Well, I'm just inserting extra letters.

[17:47] Okay.

[17:48] So we've talked –

[17:49] We're none of us perfect.

[17:50] I'm just a little bit more perfect.

[17:51] We've talked enough about the telecast.

[17:52] Should we talk about nominees?

[17:54] Well, that's what I was getting into.

[17:55] Who won the awards?

[17:56] That's what I was getting into.

[17:57] I'll tell you something.

[17:58] Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

[17:59] Rise of the Planet of the Apes should have won best visual effects.

[18:01] Hey, let's all say –

[18:02] I'm not sure I agree, but let's all say one positive thing about the Oscar telecast to kind of clear the air before we get to the nominees section.

[18:09] Sure.

[18:10] Clear that –

[18:11] And I'll start.

[18:12] Turn the smell out of the way.

[18:13] I liked the Christopher Guest bit until it went too long.

[18:16] Yeah.

[18:17] And I thought –

[18:18] That's a qualified compliment.

[18:20] And I thought Fred Willard was very funny in it.

[18:22] I liked it.

[18:23] For some reason, it was less funny to me hearing the audience laugh.

[18:26] Like it was as if there was a laugh track to it.

[18:28] But I liked the bit in general.

[18:29] I can understand that.

[18:30] I thought it was –

[18:31] I liked the idea.

[18:32] I didn't think it really fit.

[18:33] There was no –

[18:34] Like the subject of that bit was totally inconsequential and had nothing to do with the rest of the –

[18:40] Hey, you know these focus groups?

[18:42] We've all dealt with them.

[18:43] Here's a little bit about focus groups in the 30s.

[18:45] Yeah.

[18:46] All right.

[18:47] Is this supposed to seem relevant?

[18:48] Because –

[18:49] But I liked the idea of doing that kind of a bit.

[18:52] I'll say that in addition to, as I said before, enjoying Young Miss Emma Stone, I –

[18:58] The Young Miss Emma Stone Chronicles?

[19:00] I did like – I didn't like the –

[19:03] Before he practices CGI techniques before the –

[19:06] Before he puts them in movies.

[19:07] Yeah.

[19:08] I didn't like the whole bit of like what are they thinking.

[19:11] But I did like the end where they just cut to Nick Nolte and he was like –

[19:15] Yeah.

[19:16] Nick Nolte was red-faced and laughing as if he was going to have a stroke right there.

[19:20] I did like –

[19:21] From being too gravelly.

[19:22] I did like the interview with Nick Nolte on the red carpet where they asked him if he owned a crow and he didn't know what they were talking about for a minute or two before he admitted that he does in fact own a crow.

[19:31] A crow like the bird?

[19:32] Yeah, the bird, yeah.

[19:34] He got it from the movie –

[19:36] Is he a maester?

[19:37] U-turn.

[19:38] Yeah.

[19:39] I would thought you were going to say, Dan, that you liked – why can I not remember his name?

[19:48] The winner for best supporting actor, his speech.

[19:50] Christopher Plummer.

[19:51] Christopher Plummer was great too.

[19:52] That you liked Christopher Plummer's speech.

[19:53] That was the high point of the night for me.

[19:54] No, he was – we were talking about this at work.

[19:57] That's what the Oscar should be.

[19:59] It should be great.

[20:00] is full of old men

[20:01] uh... it should be it should be hot young women show off their gams and

[20:05] making jokes and graceful old englishman yet being charming well he's from canada

[20:09] that's right is canadian i've tried to scour the lines english when i

[20:13] actually tweeted that he was english or died so that we losing this because he

[20:16] sounds like he's english but he's he's yeah and you got dick slap

[20:20] uh... i i i christopher plumber it's actually checked myself

[20:24] those and i think that's checked he checked his faxes and one for this

[20:28] here's my birth certificate just you can say i'm canadian i appreciate i

[20:31] appreciate the tweets

[20:32] but uh... i am a canadian gentleman

[20:34] uh...

[20:35] and

[20:37] i think one of the things that did also bugged me about the awards was

[20:40] there was that felt like there's this feeling of like

[20:43] finally meryl streep has gotten her due

[20:46] she's finally won an academy award for all this great work it's like she has

[20:49] two already

[20:51] uh... widely regarded that she's like the best actress around what did you

[20:54] it's not only the stuff is one person is twice and one thing she is a

[20:58] supporting actress one for uh...

[21:00] for kramer versus kramer yeah

[21:02] thank you sir and she is nominated almost every year is not an almost every

[21:06] year when she's in doubt and doesn't deserve it

[21:09] well

[21:10] so like this i did it felt like

[21:12] this idea that like

[21:14] and maybe they're just trying to spin it's that people weren't mad that

[21:16] viola davis didn't win

[21:17] but it seemed like they were trying to

[21:19] but it's the spin on it like

[21:21] finally hollywood is recognized remain internally unrecognized meryl streep i

[21:25] will say for it's like this is not susan lucci i will say on her behalf though

[21:28] that she is

[21:30] she's almost the female equivalent of uh... christopher plumber and that she

[21:34] always has a very like

[21:35] funny and graceful oh no yeah well no she's a class act

[21:38] but yeah i have nothing against her

[21:41] it's not against her yeah that we that i have it's just against the site like

[21:44] the uh... they if you may be even her

[21:47] is somewhere in the intro for it was like

[21:49] she's been nominated all these many times that since the eighties and she's

[21:52] never one it's like

[21:53] she has to

[21:55] like her little her

[21:56] reputation her legacy are secure

[21:58] there are a lot of people actors that every other actress

[22:01] pretty much wishes they were yeah

[22:04] they're gonna have a career

[22:05] that span this much much time especially for actresses really challenge yeah

[22:10] and their actresses like rachel vice who i like a lot who

[22:13] at some point maybe

[22:14] totally forgotten except the fact that she has an academy award whereas meryl

[22:18] streep

[22:19] is not to be forgotten like her body of work will last on

[22:22] longer than probably any other actress working today luckily movies like dream

[22:25] house come along to give rachel vice a little bit of work to really cement them

[22:31] oh man but anyway the nominees we're going to talk about so i said let's say

[22:34] one thing nice and i started complaining about a bunch of shit so

[22:37] because uh... i bring it up if only because there were a lot there was a

[22:40] fair amount of uh...

[22:42] dissent about

[22:44] the uh... the

[22:45] choice there was no nominations for the dissent

[22:48] well that was a few years ago

[22:50] well that's nothing for best blind cannibal cave dwellers

[22:54] let's backtrack a bit elliot what would you

[22:58] have had

[22:59] when best visual effects if not

[23:02] either rise of the planets or tree of life

[23:04] the creation of the universe sequences in tree of life were

[23:08] beautiful and also

[23:10] you could tell done with practical effects they looked real

[23:13] and a lot of those effects were like

[23:15] pouring liquids through other liquids and and shooting it at the right speed

[23:18] so it looked like

[23:19] clouds of stars and and space dust that was an amazing it was fantastic and i've

[23:24] and that like as much as

[23:26] rise of the planet of the apes

[23:27] was really good visually i felt a lot of that was acting and not necessarily the

[23:31] effects because the apes did not look like real apes we can agree that like

[23:35] hugo winning in that category is a weird bandwagon it's ludicrous

[23:39] i mean winning hugo winning in cinematography is ludicrous also

[23:42] as opposed to tree of life

[23:45] as opposed to tree of life definitely but even like a movie like

[23:48] drive which was not nominated

[23:51] like tree of life was a beautiful movie that was made

[23:55] almost entirely except for like the dinosaurs and some things

[23:59] with objects that exist in the real world

[24:01] and i feel like a lot of the art of a cinematographer is

[24:04] taking reality and showing it in a different way

[24:07] and hugo is almost nothing in that movie is real

[24:10] you know yes

[24:12] and so many there's so many shots of like

[24:14] the camera flying really fast into and out of buildings

[24:18] well i like this thing

[24:19] sascha baron cohen is really good in that movie like

[24:22] i would have rather seen him be nominated for best supporting actor for hugo than like

[24:25] jonah hill for moneyball

[24:27] yeah but you hate jonah hill

[24:28] i don't hate him i just don't like him

[24:30] fair enough he's alright i guess i mean i think that's a fair statement

[24:35] what did i hate jonah hill

[24:36] no that sascha baron cohen deserved a nomination

[24:40] i feel like he brought a lot out of what could have been a very flat character

[24:44] or very one-dimensional character

[24:46] and like his

[24:47] especially considering

[24:49] borat and bruno

[24:51] like his acting in hugo is so expertly like modulated

[24:55] and

[24:56] yeah he's still a very eccentric over-the-top character but it's a

[24:59] believable human version of that

[25:04] and he doesn't rely on like catchphrases or you know

[25:06] the kind of crutches he has in bruno or borat

[25:08] no i think he's fantastic in that i think he's great in sweeney todd

[25:11] yeah he is good in sweeney todd

[25:13] like if i had my

[25:14] druthers

[25:14] yeah if i had my way

[25:16] that's my nickname for the movie druthers

[25:19] smothers druthers

[25:21] if i had my elliott's nickname for the movie druthers i would see sascha baron cohen in

[25:26] those

[25:26] sort of peter sellers supporting roles

[25:28] yeah movies

[25:30] right so that you could watch a ton of movies thirty years from now that are not very good

[25:33] but peter sellers is in them

[25:34] man

[25:35] i tried to watch uh like the pink speaking of christopher plumber i tried to watch the

[25:40] pink panther movie that he's in

[25:41] that's a good one

[25:42] which is one of the good ones

[25:43] yeah that's the third one that's a good one

[25:45] and i still like

[25:46] i think it's the third one

[25:47] it's like 15 minutes before peter sellers shows up at the beginning of the movie and

[25:52] then just any scene that he is not in is death

[25:56] death but it's not he's the only thing that holds it together

[26:00] that movie is so slow like that's the weird thing about like

[26:03] not just that movie but i feel like a lot of comedies of that era it's just like okay

[26:07] we're gonna have we're gonna have one comedic element of that and then there's just gonna

[26:10] be like just gonna be like a regular movie but around it but we're not gonna make that

[26:14] movie as good because this is a comedy

[26:17] so you're just gonna have to wait for that one funny guy to show up again

[26:19] that was basically 60s comedies yeah

[26:22] but peter sellers made a lot of movies like smallest show on earth and uh heavens above

[26:27] or whatever it's called where it's like you're watching you're like why is this even a movie

[26:31] like what like i'm glad peter sellers was getting a paycheck and i like this character

[26:35] he's playing but like yeah there's no movie here there's like nothing going on

[26:39] well well best to go back to best supporting actor that was a category that there was a

[26:43] fair amount of contention because yeah both albert brooks was not nominated should have

[26:47] been nominated he should have been nominated yeah and i i would argue i really like patton

[26:51] oswald's performance and young adult he was good in that too um those were those were

[26:57] too widely what how do you feel about those snubs

[27:02] oh i was gonna talk you can talk who all got nominated we got uh nick nolte

[27:09] christopher plumber christopher plumber jonas hill

[27:12] brad pitt uh no that's for best actor i thought he got nominated for best sporting for tree of life

[27:18] did he maybe maybe uh i know that what's his face mike's on side out dad

[27:23] oh yeah should not have been nominated i can say with authority without having seen that movie

[27:29] oh i have seen it and he is the best thing in the movie but he was nominated for extremely loud

[27:34] and incredibly crappy oh yeah and uh he is the best thing in that movie but did i feel like that

[27:41] was a career nomination like max on side over strange brew for best yeah i think he did best

[27:48] uh village oh you know what he won he won he won best actor for needful things that's what it was

[27:53] you're thinking of mel you're thinking of mel blank's uh nomination for strange brew for uh

[27:59] their unseen father he was he i think that was a i feel like a career nomination he's in his 80s

[28:07] he's one of the kind of towering actors of world film from his work with inmar bergman so like

[28:14] they were like yeah we'll throw him in but he is the best acting in that movie but that's

[28:18] probably partly because he's not in a lot of it and most of the movie is dominated by an irritating

[28:24] yeah i mean i would yeah i think that they should have nominated the dog from the artist

[28:29] i think that albert brooks i would like to have seen him in there albert brooks definitely should

[28:33] have been like as and i like trenton oswalt's performance in young adult but albert brooks's

[28:37] performance in drive again like there's so much in that performance and he doesn't and he does

[28:43] it in a way that always feels real the entire time yeah like he's the most even be not being

[28:49] the hero of the movie he's the most real and like most sympathetic character in the whole movie i

[28:53] feel like yes and like and he draws that out of it like it's not necessarily written that way

[28:58] it's written that way but he draws a lot out of it um any other uh gripes with the categories guys

[29:09] uh well what are we talking about other not well i mean other nominees or

[29:12] other other snubs snubs snubs or i don't want like it's such a boring it is really

[29:18] such a boring uh to be honest i i gotta admit i have not seen i did not see that many of the uh

[29:25] the best picture nominees i saw a fair number of them i i didn't get around to see warhorse

[29:30] because i don't like seeing animals in danger that's why that's why that's why you you had

[29:36] to leave the rescuers down under yeah in the middle of the film yeah of course and arachnophobia i'm

[29:41] like what are they gonna do to those spiders now it's ours this is like a spider holocaust

[29:46] the story still doesn't know if those rescuers ever got back uh up above after being down under

[29:51] yeah and uh five head goes west couldn't watch it even anthropomorphic you know um

[30:00] so i didn't see that nor and i guys i know you think that the artist is like that's right up my

[30:07] alley i did not see that i know you love silent films you love french movies you're a huge fan

[30:13] of movies where james cromwell plays a butler these are all right up i did not have a lot of

[30:18] passion about like going to see a lot of these nominated films like i still haven't seen the

[30:23] artist i think i would probably enjoy it enjoy the artist but the artist is a impression that

[30:27] i would not love it it's a pretty middle-of-the-road movie a lot of ways i liked it a lot

[30:31] but it was not one of the movies that i saw it and then it stuck with me afterwards like

[30:36] tree of life i saw it really stuck with me midnight in paris really stuck with me

[30:40] like yeah the apes stuck with me more than the artist did like there are some and hugo really

[30:45] stuck with me like the artist is not a is a fun movie and it's a really well-made movie but it's

[30:50] not there's not a lot of things there like it's a very thin movie you know and it's a movie where

[30:54] i don't need to spoil things sure so it's a silent movie star they tell him you're gonna

[30:59] have to make sound films and he's like no i'm not gonna do it and his life falls apart and the whole

[31:04] movie you're like it's almost it's almost like the movie forgets that the main character could

[31:09] at any point decide to just change his career a little bit and everything would be fine like

[31:15] yeah the problems are of his own making he makes them himself like in the movie hugo

[31:19] where the problem is that uh everyone's just makes like a robot talk to each other

[31:26] and they're just they're just grumping around and never asking anyone for help

[31:30] yeah you're right that was the problem in hugo yeah and my wife i like hugo i just didn't like

[31:34] it as much as you i liked it a lot i mean but i didn't like the story and hugo so much as i liked

[31:40] the what what martin scorsese what the emotion he put into it from himself you know and like

[31:45] the scenes where okay well kind of like the story is like oh he goes and does this and he finds out

[31:51] this thing and whatever but you could tell that the guy who is making the movie really identified

[31:57] with this character and that when he starts learning about the history of silent film

[32:01] that like the people making this movie are really excited like it's one of those movies where if you

[32:06] cut off the first hour of hugo i would like it if i watch the second hour i'd be like oh it's

[32:09] pretty good it's a movie where like but then you'd have no jude law and uh jude law's ray

[32:15] winstone would only be a dead body you're talking about what ai no hugo hugo oh yeah that's right i

[32:22] totally forgot jude law and ray winstone were in it yeah they're both in it in the very beginning

[32:26] well jude law's in flashbacks yeah yeah same with ray winstone except his dead body that's right

[32:32] his are flashbacks too but when they show it's the kind of movie where when he's learning about

[32:38] old silent film they show you footage from real old silent films and they don't have like

[32:43] they don't put like a silent film filter on footage of uh like ben kingsley walking around

[32:52] it's like uh it was like uh when they did uh when frost nixon came out a year or two ago

[32:57] and they tried to restage the interviews with the uh the characters from the film

[33:03] and instead of using actual like footage of these people they put like oliver platt in his

[33:08] characters makeup yeah as if it was interview yeah and that was actual footage and that was

[33:13] ridiculous yeah i didn't see like there was no point to that but you liked what they did with

[33:20] hugo where they used the real old footage yeah um was it was it in 3d i didn't see it and it was and

[33:28] it didn't need to be that's the thing is i was i mean like the old timey stuff was like it was

[33:34] more like the image came out at you but it wasn't like well we'll take this old buster keaton movie

[33:39] and we'll make it into 3d it was more like as if the you were watching a tv and the tv screen

[33:45] was moving towards you like the silent films were not in poltergeist or something or a little bit

[33:52] okay i know this is a really important uh conversation to hash out okay what's up i

[33:58] think we can put the oscars to bed okay well we've already put our listeners to bed oh yeah i think

[34:03] we're gonna move on our hugo cast to the uh are we gonna move on to the more important awards to

[34:11] the flop academy flop flop so yeah four thumbs up and a boner for the oscars right yeah was it a

[34:19] good bad oscars a bad bad oscars or an oscars you kind of liked a little bit of a stroke party guys

[34:25] don't indicate that it was at least fun for one person

[34:30] and possibly a cat so dan depending on how you do it yeah so we're gonna give out our the the

[34:36] floppies the most coveted award it's in the shape of a golden disc golden disc yeah like a floppy

[34:44] disc okay you're older than me dan you know what a floppy disc is sure um so we all we all we all

[34:52] have a few here to give out on why don't i start off okay okay why don't you start off i'm gonna

[34:58] give out uh first first award goes to actor that sounds most like an auto part and that goes to cam

[35:08] who also received the coveted shredded like lettuce award and the josh hartnett memorial

[35:14] for most irritating squint so well so a good year for cam cam really he really rolled through this

[35:22] strong year for cam gajandit gandit

[35:27] gijande gijande just i i kind of want to call it to car talk now and say that my cam gajandit is

[35:32] all out of line freaking uh frack right yeah the tapper brothers or tap it brothers uh anyone else

[35:42] sure we can rotate through sure um my categories are a little different uh i had uh best audience

[35:52] audience sympathy role reversal went to green lantern for making an audience of nerds root

[35:57] for a handsome jock who was about to beat up a brainiac in a wheelchair okay so best audience

[36:02] sympathy role reversal and now now being nerds uh we really identified with that right i really

[36:09] identified with the horrific villain who's in a wheelchair yeah with the big lumpy head the gross

[36:14] mustache and the lumpy head i knew you'd be behind this lumpy head is terrorizing the city where is

[36:23] green lantern lumpy head is on a rampage um the uh my first award is for um most erotic fully clothed

[36:33] sexual performance okay it goes to of course nicholas cage and drive angry that's interesting

[36:39] because uh nicholas cage won for my word for angriest driving for drive angry

[36:46] well i mean as long as we're giving the nicholas cage

[36:50] it's not the only one i have all right well uh maybe i'll save it then oh we know you can go

[36:56] uh i i'm going to give the cagiest cage award to trespass cage which for me beat out sorcerer's

[37:02] apprentice cage drive angry cage in season of the witch cage i gave best hair to nicholas cage for

[37:09] all of them well what kind of an award is that is that it's a golden disc right best hair it's a

[37:17] golden disc but it has a wig on it has a hideous wig on it so nicholas cage for all of them

[37:25] um the my next award is for most believable english accent in a totally terrible movie

[37:31] is a double award to both danny mcbride and james franco in your highness not even a flophouse movie

[37:38] just a movie that was from this last year and uh was i think drawn for the least fun i had

[37:45] watching a movie all year long wow what was the other one the other one was wait let me let me

[37:49] peruse my notes uh oh shit i totally forgot to write it down so your highness is alone the winner

[37:57] for the least fun you had in a movie okay well uh that was that one my actually i'll give that in a

[38:01] word just now for movie that was most sold on the presence of a butt in it now no one's won that

[38:07] award since entrapment not even a totally nude but just not well entrapment won it with a butt that

[38:13] was through a pair of pants so i think uh i think they tried to do that with uh the that that scottish

[38:19] movie the what's the post-apocalyptic yeah mcbeth yeah you're not supposed to say it's

[38:23] apocalyptic one oh uh doomsday yeah yeah that's right that's that well i yeah i mean that's a

[38:29] great great but i'll get on board with that one uh it's a butt with an accent officially the assies

[38:36] aren't announced until next week so let's stick with the floppies um so this is the golden civ

[38:42] award for movie i've most completely forgotten that we watched and that goes to beastly which

[38:48] may just be because that was a blooper episode but still almost completely erased from my mind

[38:54] uh eternal sunshine style yeah beastly now for a second i thought you said beasley like

[39:00] i'd given that award to skyline oh right we watch skyline okay that's the reaction i was hoping to

[39:07] give it to skyline also i kind of forgot that existed uh here's a serious one uh for best actor

[39:15] i give it to gary oldman not for tinker taylor soldier spy although he's very good in that

[39:21] but for the moment in red riding hood when lucas haas asked if he can touch gary oldman's sword

[39:26] and gary oldman goes no as if he's barely thinking about it and he's already leaving the conversation

[39:34] no he's a real pro he is that was a beautiful moment in a movie otherwise terribly boring

[39:42] except for the existence of a giant cast iron elephant that people were burned to death in

[39:47] hey guys i want to i want to calm things down a little bit and go back to something that we

[39:51] taped earlier in the day okay this is for the lifetime achievement award for longest movie

[39:57] we ever watched for the flop house

[40:00] that goes to the happiest millionaire yeah well-earned well-earned it was very

[40:04] long do I think is the term it was due for that award I have a here the Paul

[40:10] Walker award for being a black hole of charisma and that goes for Alex Pettifore

[40:15] star of I'm number four and beastly he is yeah he is has nothing at all to

[40:21] offer film he has no charisma no star power what about abs he's got he's

[40:25] shredded like lettuce that's true not as good at much as calm okay for best

[40:37] twists it's trespass oh wait no I read that wrong sorry the category is most

[40:42] twists not best twists merely most because there are eight or nine twists

[40:47] in that movie they run they run all new to me yeah the twists run the gamut from

[40:52] it turns out we have no money to know we actually do have a lot of money to

[40:56] we want to take your daughter's kidney to we don't want the kidney just the

[41:00] money and I didn't get get into the affair that Nicole Kidman didn't have

[41:09] so the the last award that I'm gonna give out guys goes more goes to the the

[41:16] flop house movie this year that had the least limits which is the roommate Wow

[41:24] huge upset he is so unhappy expertly awarded I think he was about out of his

[41:33] chair already and then Billy Zane just pushed him down he got up to accept the

[41:38] award and while he's up there the other while he's up there he can accept

[41:41] another award best hats the roommate special achievement in hats this year

[41:47] so this award was given out actually earlier at our technical flop house

[41:53] awards hosted by Amanda Bynes this is the what if Penny met a dinosaur award

[42:01] for strangest premise and that goes to gooby where Robbie Coltrane was a giant

[42:05] living teddy bear it's the movie that makes you believe in magic and then

[42:09] makes you wish you didn't oh I wish I'd seen that one missed it this is this is

[42:15] a word this is a very contentious category every year it's gonna be a lot

[42:19] of buzz on the blogs afterwards but whether we chose the right one best

[42:22] commercial for TGI Friday's disguised as a movie and the winner is zookeeper

[42:28] zookeeper this is my final award I don't know you have a couple more I have a

[42:36] couple but I don't have to announce them all this is my final award the cold

[42:39] shower award goes to sucker punch for making me feel guilty about every

[42:44] erection I've ever had sure you weren't already guilty about all those

[42:48] erections look I wasn't raised with a tradition of guilt like you know guilt

[42:53] it's called guilt chocolate coins that you get at Hanukkah I have a special

[42:59] word best supporting actor I'm gonna give to Eric Zuckerman for my soul to

[43:02] take great guy flop house co-host current flop house friend Eric Zuckerman

[43:09] great work in your four or five minutes of screen time but nice things to say

[43:13] the killer didn't call him bitch at any point though right no unfortunately and

[43:20] of course is that something you'd want on your tombstone pepperoni and extra

[43:26] cheese and of course this is the big award the big one best picture of the

[43:33] year okay again a lot of lobbying a lot of advertising a lot of things I think

[43:39] it's going to the artist the artist is an early favorite oh no opening the

[43:43] envelope who saw this coming best picture goes to tango and cash for the

[43:48] 22nd year running tango and cash has won best picture well congratulations to

[43:54] tango congratulations to cash and let's not forget the late Jack Palance look

[43:57] the the freak from the castle has a brave face on it was really expecting to

[44:02] make it this year I can't see the invisible maniac but I assume he's

[44:05] crying head of the family I can really see his expression a lot of

[44:11] disappointment oh but tango and cash couldn't be happier yeah look at they

[44:15] are they're high-fived and now the picture is taken of that and it's in the

[44:18] newspaper and they're cleared they've been cleared of all charges by winning

[44:24] this award so we're having a lot of fun but finally let's end that you know

[44:31] let's wrap that up let's move on to letters from listeners

[44:35] fluff house letters letters for the flop house and award for best letters letters

[44:45] letters letters

[44:50] fluff house letters okay so this email is titled floptacular predictions okay

[44:59] it's from Dan last name withheld it says to last year's floptacular episode I've

[45:05] been thinking who you would who would win this year's lifetime achievement

[45:10] award for things packed in twos I would like to see tennis balls when the award

[45:18] for things packed in threes I know over the last decade or so they have changed

[45:22] to four packs in some instances but over the course of history I've always enjoyed

[45:26] the packaging yeah but you're supposed to give the award for this year's work

[45:29] great love for lifetime achievement nice cap fantastic smell after the can is

[45:33] open thank does he not know what this podcast is about if he may think it's a

[45:37] podcast yeah has he confused house is that the term for when they package to

[45:44] like two older porno magazines and then sneak a third one with the cover ripped

[45:49] off yeah okay I've never thought of where they did that one day one that's

[45:53] like something you would not be interested in like pregnant babes and

[45:56] stuff like that grannies and grannies and whatnot you know what I think I at

[46:02] first I thought it was that there weren't a lot of granny fetishists out

[46:04] there but now I think that we have whatnot in the title of our porn

[46:06] magazine people just don't know what to expect well then you don't know what

[46:12] the title is because the covers been ripped off jugs and etc has been doing

[46:15] pretty good well etc means more of the same so people know they're getting more

[46:20] jugs but whatnot that could mean anything it's a big question mark it's

[46:25] like if you put a little movie the title was just question mark you wouldn't pick

[46:29] that up you don't know what you're entering into there can be anything

[46:32] between those covers that requires a lot of years in the pornographic

[46:36] industries that people have very specific fetishes things they're into

[46:40] and they do not want to be surprised I don't want to be looking for a picture

[46:44] of an anthropomorphic dolphin having sex with an anthropomorphic box

[46:48] turn the page there's a granny there I don't want to grab a human shot very

[46:55] photorealistically I mean this is where I did anthropomorphic this is why our

[47:00] twin experiments porn grand grab bag huge failure and barely legal and

[47:07] miscellaneous huge failure well yeah but that was a way we could use up the

[47:11] pictures that didn't fit in the other magazines again failure people aren't

[47:14] interested in that they want to know what they're getting here's two words

[47:17] that don't go together okay masturbation and surprise you don't want to be

[47:23] surprised when you're masturbating okay about to climax and shock all right well

[47:30] that's why our other magazine hey look at this people didn't even know it what

[47:36] tone it was in hey look at this was our was our second we're selling magazine

[47:40] after question mark yeah it could be hey look at this it will disgust you yeah we

[47:47] have a lot of these conversations logged improperly next to the Rangers Rick and

[47:52] whatnot and then we get a lot of angry letters from a lot of angry parents who

[47:55] thought they were buying nature themed pornography Rangers Rick this email is

[48:02] titled that Minnesota guys offer is no good and this is referring back to a

[48:06] while ago Jesse Ventura as a recent flop comfort I've been working my way through

[48:11] your old episodes when you watch Delgo you got an email from the listener in

[48:14] Minnesota who offered to let you watch movies at his house his house I can do

[48:20] better than that I can offer you an entire theater with seats and paying

[48:24] customers hopefully I'm a projectionist at the Trylon micro cinema here in

[48:30] Minneapolis Wow we're a 50 seat nonprofit theater that shows a

[48:33] combination of retrospectives and new independent films we're also hosted such

[48:37] series as trash film debauchery that sounds like something you'd like Dan

[48:42] yes and the defenders in which one person picks a critically unloved film

[48:46] and defends it before an audience like Elliot how about it floppers care to

[48:51] come to Minnesota and do a live show I'll cover the theater you keep these

[48:55] sure to be a lucrative box office to sweeten the deal I've come up with

[48:58] attractions suited to each of your personalities Stuart there's a brewery

[49:02] just to buy blocks from the theater a gym brewery they make Jim Brewers there

[49:11] like a frat house basically yeah kind of Elliot there's a Popeyes nearby

[49:18] a lot of words that sound like other words Dan Minnesota's home to racist

[49:22] homophobic militia not Michelle Bachmann so you're sure to fit right in and last

[49:27] name without well I don't like that last part it's totally fits with your

[49:30] personality as according to what I said and what Stewart said in this podcast

[49:34] hooks for hands right yeah does she have hooks for hands on things you can't you

[49:39] can't answer well I think it sounds pretty good if he'll cover the cost of

[49:43] travel and lodging yeah that's the we'll pay for our meals and for our in

[49:48] city transportation sure Minneapolis is a lovely city for one-third of the year

[49:53] I lived there briefly and no but seriously folks yeah well I love

[49:58] Minneapolis

[50:00] you know we've been hoping to find maxi atlas at some point for a small city

[50:03] results in this

[50:05] as soon as i can convince you guys to go on down i'm ready

[50:08] all you should hop on our old double sidecar

[50:11] uh... who drives the motorcycle

[50:14] uh... i would think that what he's going to charge yeah probably not going to be

[50:19] way too drunk to be driving when you're left out in the sidecar and i'm with the

[50:22] you know it's true it's not that the next email speaks to that very issue

[50:26] so uh... well let's let's say to him

[50:30] make it worth our while

[50:32] and we'll go to your fifty-seat minneapolis theater

[50:35] now and i think it was a while i mean pay for a plane tickets maybe we'll pay

[50:38] for with the box office from all those fans to come out yet with how much

[50:42] we have to charge for if it's a fifty-seat theater

[50:45] uh... million dollars i don't know i don't know i'm not very good at math

[50:48] i don't know math that's why i got into comedy writing

[50:51] uh...

[50:52] the glue of the flop house is the next email most of the new rules of the flop

[50:56] house

[50:57] dear flop a hollocks

[50:59] for years you guys have been pushing the lie that dan is the leonardo the group

[51:04] where he is the one who makes sure the discussion stays on topic and keeps

[51:07] everything organized

[51:09] yet who

[51:10] is the one who always makes a segway back into the film during a classic

[51:14] flophouse tangent

[51:16] who says

[51:18] rise when it's okay to stop the discussion can move to a different

[51:22] topic

[51:23] who went on the podcast meanders a bit more than usual

[51:26] that's right the one only stewart wellington

[51:29] can we learn anything maybe it's not going to have a lot to read i think it's

[51:33] time dante's a place as the wacky friend stewart takes his rightful place in the

[51:37] serious leader of the group

[51:39] if only for one episode like freaky friday or vice versa

[51:42] at least one of the watch vice versa

[51:46] or like father like son or eighteen again

[51:48] uh... at least walking around the other one's shoes might stop their constant

[51:52] off-podcast fighting

[51:54] remember the immortal words of shakespeare

[51:56] to thine own self be true sincerely brian last name withheld

[51:59] so that would make you the cyclops stewart dan is certainly not the

[52:03] wolverine so what is he like the nightcrawler

[52:06] yeah i mean

[52:07] or the beast

[52:08] yeah i think i could be the beast yeah i think this is pretty cool

[52:11] beast is not

[52:12] uh... like really cool but you know i'll pass okay

[52:16] and i assume i'm like banshee

[52:18] use of your what's on the floor and i think that your cycle

[52:22] cyclocked so

[52:24] there is a clock instead of a night

[52:26] you press that

[52:28] still style lock yet on some of the sexy asian ninja with an english accent

[52:33] that's pretty cool

[52:34] that's pretty cool and jealous it does mean i have a lot more wedgies than most

[52:38] of the superheroes

[52:40] uh... yeah well uh... what brian last name withheld and i disagree with you

[52:45] sir i'm what i can handle their responsibility

[52:48] maybe we should try it sometime though you never know you should doubt yourself

[52:50] okay may is so next time i'll bring all the podcasting equipment

[52:55] which i'm guessing is i don't like a tape recorder or something i don't

[52:58] and uh... i'll do it at my house later with a bunch of cores

[53:03] yep you'll just meander in probably ten minutes late

[53:06] uh... and then go into a long spiel that you've been rehearsing on the whole

[53:10] walkover that sometimes goes over and sometimes doesn't make that much sense

[53:14] yeah of course then you'll finish your own bit by asking if you've been asking

[53:18] us if it was a bit

[53:22] so it's a

[53:24] but i think you can handle it

[53:26] this last one

[53:27] there's a very touching story

[53:29] so uh... you're interested to know that there's been a lot of time i'm

[53:33] masturbating on the show tonight we need a movie to distract us from

[53:36] masturbating

[53:38] uh... this one some movies

[53:40] distract you the other way

[53:41] wait what? some movies make you do that

[53:43] what are you talking about?

[53:44] like they force you to stewart you have no choice

[53:47] well like uh...

[53:48] like uh...

[53:49] like a movie that makes you masturbate yeah

[53:52] that's like the rain

[53:53] like when you're watching one of those movies like peter pan where they're like

[53:56] tinkerbell's dying

[53:58] only masturbating will bring her back to life come on everybody in the audience

[54:01] well like one of those horror movies where you watch it and it makes you die

[54:04] you like it makes you kill yourself

[54:05] yeah yeah exactly

[54:07] like uh... fern gully yeah

[54:08] so this is titled second fern gully reference of the night thank you and you're

[54:12] welcome a tale of flophouse romance

[54:15] well hello

[54:17] this is not another slash fiction story is it that's what i was

[54:20] expecting first

[54:22] so go on i cannot hear another story about me licking popeye's grease off of

[54:26] either of you ever again

[54:28] uh... i just wanted to thank you for putting out the podcast because you're desensitized at this point

[54:33] it's like you desensitized the tip of your penis and can't get out

[54:36] uh... can't read it yeah let him read this letter uh... thank you for putting out the podcast

[54:41] my favorite podcast

[54:42] et cetera thank you very much sorry for this episode

[54:46] a few weeks ago i was listening to the

[54:49] conan episode of the podcast

[54:51] while scanning some books in the library

[54:55] a mindless task

[54:56] a mindless task made bearable only by podcasts

[55:00] although i listened to this episode two times before

[55:03] i still find myself nearly doubled over in laughter by the time that elliot as

[55:07] connery finished off the updated zardoz ad with

[55:10] you're the zardoz now dog

[55:13] however notice he had a throw in his fucking connery yeah i gotta show off

[55:17] michael cain's coming up soon too

[55:19] however unlike most times when i've been in a similar situation the people around

[55:23] me either ignore my laughter

[55:25] or stare at me like i'm insane

[55:27] this time i was tapped on the shoulder

[55:29] i turned around to see a beautiful girl

[55:31] and instead of asking if i would stop hogging the scanner she asked what was so

[55:35] funny

[55:36] flabbergasted i told her it was a bad movie podcast i was making fun of zardoz

[55:41] and at this point i assume she screamed and ran away

[55:43] to my furthest surprise she asked me if she could hear it

[55:47] and since i'm an average flop listener and she was gorgeous

[55:50] i acquiesced immediately and watched she began laughing at elliot's horrible

[55:53] impersonation

[55:54] and description of what actually happens in zardoz

[55:57] horrible

[55:58] after she handed my i studied with sean connery for years

[56:01] after she handed my ipod back to me we began talking about other bad movies we

[56:05] both liked

[56:06] and both realized that we didn't have any friends that wanted to go to a midnight

[56:09] showing of the room later that week

[56:12] not wanting to let this opportunity get away from me

[56:14] i asked her out for dinner and the room and i'm happy to report that we've been

[56:18] on a number of dates since then

[56:20] during which i've gotten her to become

[56:22] a new subscriber to your podcast

[56:25] so i just wanted to say

[56:28] thank you for enabling a chance to meet my new girlfriend and you're welcome for

[56:31] swelling your subscriber rolls

[56:33] by one

[56:34] keep on flopping in the free world mike last name withheld

[56:38] is there any chance for a live flop house event in washington dc i know

[56:41] elliot considers our city a boring eyesore

[56:44] as heard in the invasion episode

[56:47] i guess so it is boring but i like the public statuary

[56:50] but our population is about eighty three percent students who love bad movies

[56:53] i thought i'd you know what last well i went to dc recently i was struck by how

[56:57] lovely our

[56:58] i'd actually like a lot of the things and maybe it's just that

[57:01] invasion showed the the more boring parts of the like that malls and things

[57:06] but i'm also you know that the office building from the malls of america

[57:10] that was a touching story that was really great

[57:12] uh... i'm sure they're broken up by now

[57:14] uh... it's terrible that i think it's a little bit for nothing well that's i'm

[57:18] very glad that we could help in some way to get this

[57:22] young flop house listener

[57:23] uh... some affection

[57:26] and like a modern-day syrano

[57:28] yeah

[57:29] a modern-day cynically what's the word some day will work up to be run over a

[57:33] reno

[57:34] i mean if we can you know if we can get the sd market

[57:37] we can get one nerd laid out there

[57:40] and it's all in work in the past few years doing this podcast for worth it

[57:44] and uh... and thanks for giving us another listener and i feel like

[57:48] a live event in dc is eminently more doable than minneapolis

[57:52] because we just take a train down there

[58:04] and that's how they make honey

[58:07] yeah

[58:09] uh...

[58:10] so we should now go on to uh... really it's made with bees it's all bees and

[58:16] bees wax

[58:18] so that you know that uh... like it's you're going to cut out so i got a play

[58:21] on the uh... the whole point was i stopped the tape

[58:25] to save it and they're explaining it now so i think it's in there to pick up from

[58:28] where we left off

[58:29] like with uh... i think

[58:31] we could have a washington dc

[58:33] she's going to be eminently doable

[58:35] if someone in washington dc wants to do some of the legwork and figure out where

[58:39] that could be done

[58:40] uh... then that'd be cool thing to do

[58:44] and uh... if this uh... if this relationship survives a little longer too

[58:48] i'd love to hear it

[58:50] yeah, wait, you'd love to hear their relationship?

[58:52] no, i just want to make sure that we're safe

[58:53] you are sick

[58:55] so you heard him, you heard him, Flophouse fans, make a tape of you

[58:59] having sex and send it to pervazoid number one dan mccoy

[59:02] mister your girlfriend's butt looks nice mccoy

[59:05] your wife's butt looks nice

[59:07] i was going through our old... you didn't like his girlfriend's butt is what you're saying

[59:10] yeah, what's wrong with his girlfriend's butt, dan?

[59:12] oh god, i just want my cynicism to not be uh... borne out

[59:15] i was going through the previous years Flophouse episodes in preparation for this

[59:22] and i went back and listened to the

[59:24] the controversy over the

[59:26] you asking if that was the guy's wife in the video

[59:31] look, people want to know

[59:33] people named dan mccoy who are pervs want to know

[59:35] i'm a person

[59:36] you're taking that away from me, ellie? are you dehumanizing me?

[59:40] i only in that you're a pervazoid

[59:43] a robot cyborg designed to be a pervazoid

[59:45] he's a three-dimensional pervazoid

[59:47] of being a human, elliot

[59:49] just because you're uncomfortable with it doesn't mean that it's not a valid uh...

[59:52] i'm totally comfortable with it

[59:54] so send in that tape

[59:58] uh... but yeah we hope you're still together

[1:00:00] and keep on rocking in D.C.

[1:00:02] Okay.

[1:00:03] So this is the part where we normally make recommendations,

[1:00:06] but because this is sort of a end of the year

[1:00:08] retrospective, I thought we could maybe-

[1:00:10] The same place everyone does their end of the year

[1:00:12] retrospectives, in February, on Leap Day.

[1:00:15] On Leap Day.

[1:00:16] It's not miles off.

[1:00:17] I mean, you know, some people will do it in January

[1:00:20] after the year is actually over,

[1:00:22] rather than trying to jump the gun

[1:00:24] and doing December like everyone else.

[1:00:26] Wow, you really thought about this.

[1:00:27] It really makes you mad.

[1:00:28] But no, I just like, you know,

[1:00:30] we should talk about a couple of movies

[1:00:32] maybe from the last year that we enjoyed.

[1:00:35] And we don't need to do maybe full recommendations.

[1:00:38] We can just rattle off a couple.

[1:00:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:00:40] Sure, yeah.

[1:00:41] But Elliot, why don't you go?

[1:00:43] Why don't you go?

[1:00:45] That reminds me of a movie I really enjoyed this year.

[1:00:47] A little movie called Hugo.

[1:00:49] Dan?

[1:00:50] All right, man, I'm just gonna go off.

[1:00:53] Well, I actually didn't see,

[1:00:55] I saw a lot fewer new movies this year than I usually do.

[1:00:58] And I think just because it was a busy year

[1:01:00] and there wasn't a lot in the theaters

[1:01:02] that was like really driving me to go see it right away.

[1:01:08] So I feel like I don't have a lot at Retro Recommends

[1:01:10] that are not already well-known.

[1:01:12] Like I wish there was some like indie movie

[1:01:14] or foreign movie I saw that really was really amazing

[1:01:16] and I wanna tell everyone about it, but I didn't.

[1:01:18] But speaking of driving me to the theaters to see stuff,

[1:01:20] here's another movie I liked this year, Drive.

[1:01:23] Okay.

[1:01:25] Really good segue.

[1:01:26] So much better than when I got prepared.

[1:01:28] Well, let's hear it, Stuart.

[1:01:31] Okay, well, yeah, I have a pretty short list

[1:01:34] because I think I'm in the same boat as Elliot.

[1:01:35] I just didn't get out.

[1:01:37] Yeah.

[1:01:37] To the theaters is often.

[1:01:38] I was going through my list.

[1:01:39] I keep a list every year of the movies I've seen that year.

[1:01:41] And I saw way more movies for the Flophouse

[1:01:43] than I did like in the theaters,

[1:01:46] movies I wanted to see, you know.

[1:01:48] Well, there was two big budget movies that I thought

[1:01:55] were really good at what they were trying to do.

[1:01:57] And that was-

[1:01:57] Transformers 3.

[1:01:58] Girl with a Dragon Tattoo.

[1:02:00] And Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol,

[1:02:02] which in a way kind of,

[1:02:03] they kind of both remind me of each other.

[1:02:05] Like they were both very, very good

[1:02:07] at being either an action movie or a thriller.

[1:02:09] And I think all the elements kind of combined

[1:02:12] in all those movies.

[1:02:13] Like the sound was great.

[1:02:14] The direction was great.

[1:02:15] And I think in both cases,

[1:02:16] it was primarily due to like a great director.

[1:02:20] And Mission Impossible had a good script.

[1:02:22] Like it was a pretty tight, quick moving script.

[1:02:25] Yeah. I mean, there's a couple of laggy parts,

[1:02:27] but yeah, I'd agree with you.

[1:02:28] You know, I'm just going to quickly run down

[1:02:30] like several that I-

[1:02:32] Speaking of running down, the rundown.

[1:02:35] With Sean William Scott.

[1:02:36] With Sean William Scott.

[1:02:37] And who was it?

[1:02:38] The Rock?

[1:02:39] Yeah.

[1:02:39] Didn't even come out this past year.

[1:02:40] Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

[1:02:41] Speaking of Dwayne The Rock Johnson,

[1:02:43] Journey 2, The Mysterious Island.

[1:02:46] Okay.

[1:02:47] I'm just going to run down.

[1:02:49] I have more on here,

[1:02:50] but you know what?

[1:02:51] I'm just going to run down a few

[1:02:52] that either I feel were underseen

[1:02:56] or slightly underappreciated.

[1:03:00] In that category, I would put-

[1:03:01] Burlesque?

[1:03:02] I would put Win Win, Super 8, Attack the Block,

[1:03:08] the Fright Night remake I enjoyed,

[1:03:10] Red State, and The Adventures of Tan-Tan.

[1:03:13] You should have said-

[1:03:14] Tan-Tan?

[1:03:15] Tan-Tan.

[1:03:16] What is that?

[1:03:17] Like a Tauntaun?

[1:03:18] I said, I actually said it correctly.

[1:03:20] That was not what people were making fun of me for.

[1:03:22] Tan-Tan?

[1:03:23] Like-

[1:03:24] Tan-Tan.

[1:03:25] Tan-Tan, the guy-

[1:03:25] Tan-Tan?

[1:03:26] Daniel Craig.

[1:03:27] Daniel Craig's character in Dream House.

[1:03:28] That's actually the eye sound that I'm making.

[1:03:30] You should have said Win Win, Tan-Tan,

[1:03:33] and then come up with another movie

[1:03:34] that rhymes with those.

[1:03:37] I forgot that I saw Attack the Block this year,

[1:03:39] actually, and I really liked that a lot.

[1:03:42] Do you have something else?

[1:03:44] Basically, the movies that stuck with me,

[1:03:46] aside from Attack the Block,

[1:03:47] I saw this year,

[1:03:48] they were just like all big movies.

[1:03:50] Hugo Drive, Tree of Life,

[1:03:52] Rise of the Planet of the Apes,

[1:03:53] and Midnight in Paris,

[1:03:54] which I did not expect to really stick in my mind.

[1:03:57] Like watching it, it seemed like it was kind of like a lark.

[1:04:00] Like, all right, that was fun,

[1:04:01] but it really like,

[1:04:03] like I really felt it for a long time after I saw it,

[1:04:06] in a way I hadn't expected

[1:04:08] from a Woody Allen movie in a long time, you know?

[1:04:10] Did you list Young Adult?

[1:04:12] Well, you know what?

[1:04:14] I didn't read everything

[1:04:15] that I had written down here originally,

[1:04:16] because I thought I would stick to things

[1:04:19] that were underseen or underappreciated,

[1:04:20] but I will say that I liked the things that Elliot said.

[1:04:23] I also enjoyed-

[1:04:25] Tan Tan.

[1:04:26] Thor, The Descendants, The Muppets, Young Adult,

[1:04:30] and I agree with you on Girl with a Dragon Tattoo.

[1:04:32] I liked some of those,

[1:04:33] but like Thor was like, okay.

[1:04:36] Well, but Thor, I think was,

[1:04:38] to me, like of the,

[1:04:39] I know that you really liked the X-Men movie.

[1:04:42] Yeah, I liked X-Men. No, thank you.

[1:04:43] First Class the most, the superhero movies.

[1:04:44] I think that- Get out of here.

[1:04:46] I think of the-

[1:04:47] Little fucking turd.

[1:04:49] Of the superhero movies I saw this year,

[1:04:51] I enjoyed Thor the most.

[1:04:53] Yeah, I would probably say the movie

[1:04:56] that you guys didn't list, unsurprisingly, is-

[1:04:59] What, Bucky Larson?

[1:05:01] No, I think probably for a lower budget movie,

[1:05:05] my favorite movie of the year

[1:05:08] would probably go to Black Death with Sean Bean.

[1:05:10] Well, I haven't seen that one.

[1:05:12] Black Death, which manages to be both grim

[1:05:16] and interesting at the same time,

[1:05:18] whereas too many movies like The Seasons of the Witch

[1:05:21] and whatnot are very grim and humorless

[1:05:25] and just you lose your interest,

[1:05:28] completely lose your interest,

[1:05:29] whereas Black Death, for whatever reason,

[1:05:32] probably in part because Sean Bean was great in it.

[1:05:35] Just kept me watching.

[1:05:37] Good actor, good bean.

[1:05:38] Yeah, you know.

[1:05:39] Top quality bean.

[1:05:40] I think for me, there's a lot of the movies

[1:05:42] I like the Frida Pinto bean in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

[1:05:46] Really?

[1:05:47] Because she was kind of not necessary

[1:05:48] at any point in that movie.

[1:05:50] If anyone had the word Pinto in them,

[1:05:52] it's gonna go there.

[1:05:53] The only problem I had with Rise of the Planet of the Apes

[1:05:55] was that-

[1:05:56] The Andy Serkis bean?

[1:06:00] The human bean.

[1:06:01] The-

[1:06:02] Andy Serkis peanut, you mean.

[1:06:05] Oh, man.

[1:06:07] Well, it should get-

[1:06:08] We do have fun here.

[1:06:09] No, we certainly do.

[1:06:10] The listeners don't,

[1:06:11] but the only problem I had with Rise of the Planet of the Apes

[1:06:14] was that neighbor, that-

[1:06:17] The guy who just like would stab people

[1:06:19] in the chest with his finger.

[1:06:20] His whole purpose was just to get mad at people

[1:06:22] and eventually spread the disease

[1:06:24] that destroyed the world, spoiler alert.

[1:06:25] But there's the part where the scientist

[1:06:28] who works with James Franco,

[1:06:29] who has come down with this disease

[1:06:30] where like blood is pouring down his face,

[1:06:32] is banging on the door

[1:06:33] trying to get James Franco's attention.

[1:06:35] And the neighbor walks over, he's like,

[1:06:36] hey, what are you doing here?

[1:06:38] Hey, I'm talking, get out of here.

[1:06:39] And it's like, at a certain point,

[1:06:41] you really can't complain about someone

[1:06:43] knocking on the door of your neighbor's house.

[1:06:44] Like, at that, they just needed him

[1:06:46] to come into contact with that guy so badly.

[1:06:48] So they're like, well, I guess this character

[1:06:50] just got to be a total asshole to everybody.

[1:06:51] The thing about a neighbor character in a movie

[1:06:53] is their main job should be to undress

[1:06:56] in front of open windows.

[1:06:58] I think Dan can agree with me on this.

[1:07:00] Body double has taught me anything.

[1:07:02] That's what it's taught me.

[1:07:04] But the movies that struck me this year,

[1:07:06] a lot of them were movies that either

[1:07:08] were people working in,

[1:07:11] relatively new people working in a medium

[1:07:13] they weren't used to,

[1:07:14] like Brad Bird working in live action.

[1:07:20] But also things like,

[1:07:22] movies that just kind of felt personal

[1:07:23] to people making them.

[1:07:24] Tree of Life felt that way, Hugo felt that way,

[1:07:26] Midnight in Paris felt that way to me.

[1:07:28] Like, as opposed to movies

[1:07:30] that were just kind of by the numbers

[1:07:32] or felt like they could have been made by anybody.

[1:07:34] Yeah, I agree with that.

[1:07:37] Well guys, another year.

[1:07:38] Another year is kind of gone.

[1:07:40] We're another year old.

[1:07:41] Yeah, closer to death.

[1:07:42] I gotta do a quick plug before we wrap up.

[1:07:44] And I have a plug too.

[1:07:45] March 8th, guys.

[1:07:46] You're gonna have to edit this episode down, Dan.

[1:07:48] If you guys will listen to this before March 8th

[1:07:49] in Brooklyn, New York,

[1:07:51] Charlene's Bar, 353 Flatbush Avenue.

[1:07:53] We have a Purim party.

[1:07:55] To all you non-Jews, that's a costume party.

[1:07:58] Come on down.

[1:07:59] You don't have to be in a costume, but you should be.

[1:08:01] There's gonna be an acoustic metal band

[1:08:03] playing a original song for Purim.

[1:08:07] There's gonna be hamantash and cookies

[1:08:08] and all kinds of stuff.

[1:08:10] And raffles and cool prizes.

[1:08:11] And possibly the three of us.

[1:08:14] At least me.

[1:08:15] Almost definitely.

[1:08:16] I should be there.

[1:08:17] And my film screening series,

[1:08:19] Closely Watch Films, is coming to a close.

[1:08:22] There'll be, by the time this episode goes up,

[1:08:24] there'll be one screening left,

[1:08:26] which will be the first Thursday in April.

[1:08:29] I'm going to be showing the movie, The Good Fairy,

[1:08:32] which was one of the movies Preston Sturgis wrote

[1:08:34] before he started directing movies.

[1:08:35] It's a very funny movie and just kind of like a light,

[1:08:38] very graceful kind of comedy,

[1:08:41] the way they used to do in the 30s.

[1:08:43] And I'll be joined by guest John Oliver

[1:08:45] of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

[1:08:46] And afterwards, we'll talk about comedy and that movie.

[1:08:49] And then I'll say farewell to my screening series

[1:08:52] for the foreseeable future.

[1:08:53] So that's the first Thursday in April, 7.30 p.m.,

[1:08:56] 92i Tribeca, which is on 200 Hudson Street in Manhattan.

[1:09:00] All right, guys.

[1:09:01] Well, now that all the awards have been given out,

[1:09:07] all there remains to say is good night, guys.

[1:09:11] And good luck, or?

[1:09:13] No, just good night.

[1:09:14] Oh, okay.

[1:09:14] And good luck, right?

[1:09:15] No, just good night.

[1:09:17] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[1:09:19] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:09:21] I think I'm still Elliot Kalin, but I'm kind of tired.

[1:09:23] Good night.

[1:09:32] Yeah, but talking into a microphone,

[1:09:33] I'm probably the least experienced.

[1:09:35] Oh, yeah, maybe.

[1:09:36] That's true.

[1:09:36] Just trying to make sense.

[1:09:37] You know, because you were in that 80s hair metal band.

[1:09:39] Yeah, and of course, Dan.

[1:09:42] Elliot and Motley Crue, I believe was the name of the band.

[1:09:44] Dan has had to testify in so many trials.

[1:09:46] Elliot and Motley Crue, they kicked me out, assholes.

[1:09:50] Yeah, they said you partied too much.

[1:09:51] They called it Motley Crue.

[1:09:52] They said I was too hardcore for them.

[1:09:54] Yeah, I was too much of a wild man.

[1:09:56] So, yeah, good night, guys.

[1:09:58] Good night.

[1:10:00] I've got too much hepatitis.

The Flop House: Episode #97 - Awards Floptacular 2012

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