The Flop House: Episode #111 - A Little Bit of Heaven

Dan McCoy

[0:00] In this episode, we discuss A Little Bit of Heaven, the world's top colon cancer rom-com.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:35] Hey guys, I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:37] And hey guys, I'm Elliot Kalin, guys.

[0:40] Hey, it's a thing we're doing this time.

[0:42] Guys, all of us together again, ready to take our listeners on an exciting voyage through the realm of cinema.

[0:53] And what gem will we look at today? What brilliant sparkling sapphire in the film firmament are we gazing upon this eve?

Dan McCoy

[1:02] Well, we will examine the crowny jewel in Kate Hudson's oeuvre, A Little Bit of Heaven.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09] So, if I may, I'm going to pull back the Flophouse curtain for our readers at home.

[1:16] And explain that when we sat down, you know, snacking on our snacks, drinking our drinks.

[1:22] Trying to pick a movie.

[1:24] Tomorrow's Yom Kippur, so I'm not eating.

[1:26] Yeah, of course.

[1:26] So, we were flipping through the channels, kept talking about movies we actually wanted to watch, movies we weren't allowed to watch.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34] Dan, any movie where Dan said, I've heard that might be a little good, we were not allowed to watch.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40] Yeah, so it was like stacking the deck against us on this one.

[1:43] Oh, that's for sure.

[1:44] And he wouldn't stop talking about Abduction, starring Taylor Lautner.

[1:47] Because Dan has a thing for Taylor Lautner.

Elliott Kalan

[1:49] I mean, it's cool.

Dan McCoy

[1:50] I just think there'll be a good Flophouse movie.

[1:52] It's got Lautner.

[1:54] It's got a...

[1:55] Taylor.

[1:56] It's got a thriller plot, a stupid thriller plot.

Elliott Kalan

[1:59] It's got Abduction and it's got Taylor's abs.

Stuart Wellington

[2:01] Yep.

[2:01] So, I guess consider that a preview of a future episode.

Elliott Kalan

[2:04] I assume since I don't think Dan's abduction obsession is going away anytime soon.

Dan McCoy

[2:09] We went through all of the movies that were on demand from Time Warner Cable and all of them seemed actually a little too good to fall under our preview.

[2:17] Yeah, you're right.

Elliott Kalan

[2:17] Solomon Cain seems too good.

[2:18] I was obsessed with Solomon Cain.

[2:20] Stuart wanted to watch Solomon Cain.

[2:22] I wanted to watch whatever.

[2:23] I don't care.

[2:24] Let's just get on with it.

Dan McCoy

[2:26] But instead we watched A Little Bit of Heaven.

[2:28] Okay.

[2:28] Best known as Kate Hudson Gets Ass Cancer.

Elliott Kalan

[2:32] That was the original working title, I think.

[2:34] It was called Untitled Kate Hudson Ass Cancer Project.

[2:38] She'd been wanting to work with ass cancer for a long time.

[2:40] Yeah, the two of them.

[2:41] We're just looking for the right vehicle.

[2:43] The right project for the two of them.

[2:45] Yeah, that's basically – here's the thing about this movie.

[2:48] Usually we go through the plot of the movie.

[2:50] I think it might take about 45 seconds to go through the plot of this movie.

[2:54] I'll try to add as much incident as possible.

[2:56] Okay.

[2:57] Kate Hudson lives in New Orleans.

[2:59] Sure, the Big Easy.

[3:00] The Big Easy, Nolens, Crisco Town, Betamax, Rigel Four.

[3:07] The Big Beignet.

[3:09] Yep, the tiny blues place, Sleepy Hollow.

[3:13] And so she works at a fast-paced ad agency.

Stuart Wellington

[3:17] New Orleans, a town recently ravaged by John Cena in the movie 12 Rounds.

Elliott Kalan

[3:22] It has yet to recover from the damage done by John Cena.

[3:25] She works at an ad agency, one of the famous New Orleans ad agencies.

[3:29] Sure.

[3:29] Where we see how good she is at her job by selling a condom company on the idea that women buy condoms.

[3:37] Surely not.

[3:38] I mean, they don't have penises.

[3:39] I don't know why they would do that.

[3:40] Oh, I'll compare my friend.

Stuart Wellington

[3:41] You would think that they would have market research that would show them otherwise.

Elliott Kalan

[3:44] Yes, you would think so, since women many buy condoms.

[3:47] But no, they need Kate Hudson to open their eyes on that one.

[3:50] Sass talking, a little bit sexy, a little bit funny, just like Kate Hudson herself.

[3:55] She is quirky.

[3:56] She's irreverent.

[3:57] Hey, she doesn't care if you're laughing or you're hating.

[4:00] But you know what, guys?

[4:01] She's just living.

[4:02] Approachable.

[4:02] That's what I like about her.

[4:03] Yeah, approachable.

[4:04] Approachable.

[4:05] And somewhat puffy-faced.

[4:06] Now, let's begin by saying...

[4:08] We'll talk about the puffy face later.

[4:09] Everyone in this movie looks tired.

[4:12] Kate Hudson has an excuse because she soon finds out when she goes to the doctor, played by Gael Garcia Bernal of Ito Mama Tambien and Casa de Mi Padre, that...

[4:23] Right, he was...

[4:24] Science Asleep?

[4:24] He was in...

[4:25] The other guy.

Dan McCoy

[4:26] What?

[4:27] He was in Science Asleep.

[4:28] Yeah, right.

[4:29] And I say the other guy.

[4:31] I really...

[4:31] The guy that was in...

[4:32] The other guy from...

[4:33] In Mjom.

[4:34] In Mjom.

[4:35] Mjom.

Elliott Kalan

[4:36] Yeah, the other guy from Mjom.

[4:37] Mjom.

[4:38] Mjom.

[4:39] Yeah, which I believe is a Thai restaurant.

[4:45] So, the two of them, he's the hair doctor.

[4:48] She says, ooh, I've been having these pains in my butt area.

[4:52] And he says, and you've had blood in your stool?

[4:54] Yes, I've had that too.

[4:55] The audience has seen none of this.

Dan McCoy

[4:57] Absolutely.

[4:58] We don't need to see the blood in her stool?

[4:59] You want close-up shots of bloody stool.

Elliott Kalan

[5:02] I just want to...

[5:03] I want Kate Hudson.

[5:04] I want building tension.

[5:05] All I want...

Dan McCoy

[5:05] Ass cancer movie.

[5:06] You're thinking there's going to be some loving shots of bloody stool.

Elliott Kalan

[5:08] I'm thinking we are going to see her struggling away on the toilet.

Stuart Wellington

[5:12] Lord knows what coming out of her anus.

[5:14] I am not going to lie.

[5:15] When you pitched this movie as the Kate Hudson ass cancer movie,

[5:19] I was just non-stop making poop slash fart jokes the whole first 20 minutes

[5:24] until we actually realized there weren't going to be any.

[5:26] Yeah, no.

[5:27] So, but...

[5:28] It seemed like a missed opportunity to you, huh?

Elliott Kalan

[5:30] Yeah, you would think, right?

[5:31] I'm just saying it's weird that she says to her friends,

[5:33] I'm not feeling so well.

[5:35] And then she goes to the doctor and she's like,

[5:38] yes, I have had bloody stool.

[5:39] It's like, that's a way more serious thing than not feeling well.

[5:42] Like, you'd think she would be a little bit more frightened

[5:44] and maybe think there was something seriously wrong?

[5:47] I don't know about you guys.

[5:47] I'm bleeding from one of the two major orifices in my body.

[5:50] That things are expelled from.

[5:52] Yeah.

[5:52] Wait, or did you mean the mouth is the other major orifice?

[5:54] Yeah.

[5:55] Okay.

[5:56] Really?

[5:56] Yeah.

[5:56] So the back before the front in orifices.

[5:59] Those are the two major orifices.

[6:01] I mean, you didn't say the most important.

[6:02] I mean, it might be.

[6:03] Minor orifices.

[6:05] So the front genitalia is minor to you when it comes to orifices.

Dan McCoy

[6:09] Look, I'm a man.

[6:11] So maybe, I mean, I'd probably be different for a lady.

[6:14] Yeah, I think you're coming at this from a male perspective.

Elliott Kalan

[6:17] From a phallocentric point of view.

[6:18] The urethra tiny orifice.

[6:19] Big surprise, huh?

[6:20] Yeah, big surprise.

[6:21] Classic misogynist.

[6:23] Anyway, so I'm just saying if I had...

[6:25] In the orifice hiring.

[6:27] In the orifice.

[6:28] In the orifice hiring.

[6:30] Orifice is that matrix guy, right?

[6:32] No, it's Morpheus.

[6:34] Orpheus is the greatest flute player in ancient Greece.

[6:38] In the orifice myth, we all know that there are two major orifices.

[6:44] In Orpheus and acidity.

[6:47] A blue orifice and a red orifice.

[6:50] The wrong one will kick you out of the matrix.

[6:52] But the right one will just keep you in there.

[6:55] And also, you can't look back at Eurydice or else she disappears and turns into a bloody stool.

[6:59] Now, I'm just saying we need some more...

[7:02] The character doesn't seem to be that worried about something that would frighten me if it happened to me.

[7:07] But she goes to the doctor and he says, you have colon cancer.

[7:11] This is serious.

[7:12] This is a bad cancer to have.

[7:13] Game change.

[7:14] Yeah, this is a total game changer.

[7:16] And so it takes her a while to reconcile to this.

[7:19] It's a real record scratch of a...

[7:20] She tries to use humor to not get too worried about it.

[7:25] And also, she starts to romance the handsome doctor who is a Jewish-Mexican.

[7:29] Of course she does.

[7:29] Now, wait, hold on.

Dan McCoy

[7:30] Back up for a second.

Elliott Kalan

[7:31] Jewish and Mexican?

[7:32] Yes.

[7:33] Back up for a second.

Dan McCoy

[7:34] When she is fully anesthetized so they can stick a camera up her butt,

[7:39] which, as Stuart said, I'm not sure is something that's done.

[7:43] It might be a local anesthesia usually.

Elliott Kalan

[7:45] I don't know.

[7:45] Yeah, I don't know they usually put you under for the butt camera.

Dan McCoy

[7:48] But when she's fully anesthetized, she meets God,

[7:51] who Kate Hudson pictures as Whoopi Goldberg

[7:54] because her character is a big Whoopi Goldberg fan.

[7:57] And we know this because Whoopi Goldberg shows up.

[8:00] No, she says, like, oh, you're Whoopi Goldberg.

[8:02] It's like, oh, you know, because you're a big fan,

[8:04] I'm appearing to you as this.

[8:06] This marks her as a fictional character.

[8:08] Because in modern times, there's no such thing as a big Whoopi Goldberg fan.

[8:13] Whoopi Goldberg slam.

[8:15] But Whoopi Goldberg.

Stuart Wellington

[8:16] I mean, she's been riding pretty high lately.

[8:19] She needs Dan to keep her honest.

[8:20] Yeah, come on.

Elliott Kalan

[8:21] She's been jumping jack flashes, jumping a little too high,

Dan McCoy

[8:24] if you know what I mean.

[8:25] Whoopi Goldberg grants her a few wishes

[8:27] because I guess God is a genie.

[8:29] One of them being that she's going to get a million dollars later on.

[8:33] Let's just, I'm putting that out there.

[8:35] Kate Hudson has a direct line to God.

[8:37] Yeah, in the form of Whoopi Goldberg.

[8:39] In the form of the whoopster.

[8:39] It's a real, oh, God, you devils, her situation.

Elliott Kalan

[8:44] So she wakes up, finds out she has ass cancer.

[8:46] She's got the butt and cancer.

[8:48] And she has to.

Stuart Wellington

[8:49] We're super insensitive about this affliction tonight.

Elliott Kalan

[8:51] Look, I just want to say, obviously, if this was a real problem someone had in real life,

[8:56] I would be saddened.

[8:57] It would be tragic.

[8:58] Yeah.

[8:58] But if it happens in a crappy movie where the worst symptom that Kate Hudson displays to us,

[9:03] the audience, is that she's tired and has the cold.

[9:06] She's got a sniffly nose.

[9:06] Like, she's not wearing any makeup.

[9:08] She looks like she's got the flu.

[9:09] She does not look like she has cancer.

[9:10] Yeah, she is in the throes of fatal cancer.

[9:13] She knows she's going to die.

[9:15] And this is expressed by her sitting on the couch with a blanket tucked around her

[9:19] and a tissue in her hand.

[9:20] And she looks tired and puffy and her hair is kind of stringy.

[9:24] Like, she doesn't even, like, literally, she looks like she should call sick to work.

Dan McCoy

[9:29] If you're a real person out there who's suffering disease, all of my sympathies are with you.

[9:33] All of your sympathies?

[9:34] All of them.

[9:34] Every single one.

Elliott Kalan

[9:35] You're not even going to save some in case, like, a plane crashes?

Dan McCoy

[9:37] Hey, no.

[9:37] My sympathies are a bottomless well, I'm sure.

[9:41] I think you're thinking of your antipathies.

[9:43] But if you're a stupid character in this movie, I mean, like, this movie is a greater insult

[9:48] to anyone with cancer than anything that we're going to say on this podcast.

[9:51] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[9:51] I'm not going to say that Kate Hudson deserves to die, but her character certainly deserved

[9:54] to die.

Stuart Wellington

[9:56] Yeah.

[9:56] Okay.

[9:57] So, that's the entire movie.

[10:00] Well, basically.

[10:01] Kate Hudson deserved to die.

[10:02] She uses humor.

[10:03] See you next week on the Flop House.

[10:04] She tells all her friends.

Elliott Kalan

[10:06] She tells her parents, Kathy Bates and Treat Williams, who have a bad relationship.

[10:10] They are not happy with each other.

[10:12] Unbelievable.

[10:12] I assume they're divorced, but maybe they're just unhappy together and they stay together because

[10:16] the sex is amazing.

[10:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[10:17] Angry sex is the best sex.

Elliott Kalan

[10:19] And she romances...

[10:19] You can only imagine Kathy Bates and Treat Williams some hot, hot sex.

[10:23] She romances the doctor.

[10:25] The doctor is told by his superior that this is very unethical.

[10:29] That's a subplot that goes nowhere.

[10:30] It's just dropped.

[10:32] Unless we missed something, which is possible because I had trouble paying attention to how

[10:36] boring this movie was.

Dan McCoy

[10:38] Although this movie also screams deleted scenes.

[10:41] Oh, yeah.

[10:42] Director's cut.

Elliott Kalan

[10:44] No, I was like, this movie...

[10:45] It's brilliant in the director's cut.

[10:46] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[10:46] This movie screams like a movie where the screenwriter went down any number of cul-de-sacs that were

[10:52] then just stripped from the movie, but left vestigial tales.

Stuart Wellington

[10:56] You're talking about that five-minute scene where they just sing along to an entire song

[10:59] in a car ride?

[11:00] Yeah.

[11:01] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[11:01] So then she has a life insurance windfall.

[11:05] They'll give her the money before she dies.

[11:07] It's a million dollars.

[11:08] She takes her friends...

[11:09] That's what God said she was going to get.

[11:10] Mm-hmm.

[11:10] Takes her friends on a shopping spree.

[11:12] Then the sickness goes to her head.

[11:14] She's an asshole to everybody.

[11:16] She's not dealing well with the fact that she's going to die and she's mean to everyone.

[11:19] Then she sees God again, makes amends with everybody, dies, and they have a lighthearted jazz funeral in her honor.

[11:26] And that is the entire movie.

[11:28] Here is...

[11:29] And here are the most...

[11:30] I left out the most intriguing characters of the film.

[11:33] Oh, man.

[11:33] I will give you them in order of most intriguing to least exciting.

[11:36] These are the most likable characters in the movie.

[11:39] One, her dog Stanley, who is a bulldog, adorable, always looks like he's got something on his mind.

[11:44] Super fat, super wrinkly.

[11:46] He's going to say something hilarious.

[11:47] Hilarious.

[11:48] If he could talk, this movie would bump up from half a star to one and a half stars.

Stuart Wellington

[11:52] Every scene that he was not in, I was wondering, what's Stanley up to?

[11:56] What is Stanley right now?

Elliott Kalan

[11:57] Solving a crime, probably.

[11:59] In the background of one scene, because Kate Hudson has all these paintings in her apartment,

[12:03] you can see a painting of Stanley.

[12:05] And I looked at it and I said, I am going to try to get that for Stuart for his birthday next year.

Stuart Wellington

[12:10] The thing is that you have a bulldog as wrinkly as Stanley in a climate like New Orleans?

[12:16] That's crazy.

[12:17] What's going to happen?

Dan McCoy

[12:18] He's going to get sweaty.

[12:19] That's what's going to happen.

[12:20] There's going to be mold in those wrinkles, I feel like.

Stuart Wellington

[12:22] Yeah, somebody better clean those out.

[12:23] Why don't we have a scene of her cleaning out his wrinkle mold?

Elliott Kalan

[12:26] So Stanley, most lovable character in the movie.

[12:29] Second most lovable character in the movie.

[12:30] At one point, Kate Hudson takes her friend's daughter, who's a little girl, to the zoo.

[12:35] They see an orangutan who has a lot of charisma and the orangutan just pees right in front of him.

[12:40] Second best character in the movie.

[12:42] Amazing.

[12:43] So that's first best Stanley is a real character.

[12:46] He appears.

[12:47] Second best character, a cameo by an orangutan.

[12:50] Third best character in the movie, not even a cameo.

[12:54] They're in the hospital at one point.

[12:56] And on an escalator behind them is an extra who is a man with white hair.

[13:04] And a suit.

[13:05] And a suit and glasses.

[13:08] And there's just something about him.

[13:09] Probably a businessman.

[13:09] There's something about him that screams, what's this character doing in the hospital?

[13:13] I would love to find out.

[13:14] He has no lines.

[13:15] He's a background extra.

[13:17] Draws focus instantly away from the main characters.

Stuart Wellington

[13:20] I think what's shocking is that an actor with his charisma is this late in life, and he has not rocketed to stardom with his own vehicle.

Elliott Kalan

[13:28] So this movie would have been much better if it was about a dog that teamed up with an orangutan to pee on a man with white hair on an escalator.

[13:38] That would have made this movie infinitely better.

[13:40] Now I will say.

[13:41] I mean, it sounds like a short subject, but it sounds like an amazing short subject.

Stuart Wellington

[13:44] No, it's like screwballs.

[13:45] They spend the whole movie trying to find ways to pee on him while he's on an escalator, and they keep fucking up.

Elliott Kalan

[13:50] They can't do it, and then finally at the end.

Stuart Wellington

[13:52] Credits roll, peeing on the guy, slow motion pee splattering all over.

Elliott Kalan

[13:56] Original song rolls, then stop.

[13:59] Stanley has a rap.

[14:00] Orangutan is the DJ hitting the discs.

Dan McCoy

[14:02] Made with a generous grant from the Canada Film Society.

[14:06] Yeah.

[14:06] Very generous with him.

Stuart Wellington

[14:09] Extremely overly generous.

[14:11] So interesting talking about rapping animals because...

[14:15] This is relevant.

[14:16] This strangely enough.

[14:18] Because MC Scat Cat himself, Romany Malka, is in the movie.

[14:21] Did I pronounce that right?

[14:22] No, you didn't.

[14:22] Romany?

[14:23] Romany?

Elliott Kalan

[14:24] Romany?

[14:25] I mean, I'm not him.

[14:26] Romany?

[14:27] I would say Romany Malko.

[14:28] Okay, so he was great.

[14:29] He actually only performed one half of the raps for MC Scat Cat in the song Opposites Attracted.

[14:34] What?

[14:35] Wait, one half?

[14:36] I'm sorry.

[14:36] Within the same song...

[14:37] Yes.

[14:38] There were two MC Scat Cat.

[14:39] According to Wikipedia, the role of MC Scat Cat was too big for one man.

Stuart Wellington

[14:44] That's the thing.

[14:44] Half of that song for one guy.

[14:47] Have you recorded half of that song?

[14:49] I don't think so.

Dan McCoy

[14:50] How...

[14:51] How...

[14:51] But as a listener to Opposites Attract, a song that I've heard several times in the course

[14:56] of my life, how was I never able to discern that there were two separate MC Scat Cat?

[15:02] I'll tell you why.

[15:03] I'll tell you why.

Elliott Kalan

[15:04] Because you're not listening to two different rappers.

[15:06] You're listening to the character of MC Scat Cat.

[15:08] And he comes to life.

[15:10] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[15:10] So he probably also handled the animation duties, right?

[15:13] He did not.

Elliott Kalan

[15:13] No.

[15:14] A professional animation team did that.

[15:15] Andy Serkis was MC Scat Cat.

[15:18] Actually, not Andy Serkis the actor, but a circus named Andy.

[15:22] They hired all the circus people to do the animation.

[15:25] It was their first job.

[15:26] It's amazing that it came out so well.

[15:28] And what's weird is...

[15:28] That's funny because we...

[15:29] What's weird is they animated it first, then cast Paula Abdul, wrote the song, and then

[15:35] shot the video.

[15:36] The animation just fit perfectly.

[15:38] Oh, man.

Stuart Wellington

[15:39] I didn't know you've been watching the making of Opposites Attractive.

[15:42] I've actually been producing it.

[15:44] The E. True Hollywood story.

[15:45] I'm producing a three-part...

Elliott Kalan

[15:45] It's on Kickstarter right now?

[15:47] Yeah.

[15:47] If someone could donate to Kickstarter my three-part documentary on...

[15:50] It's called Scatting with the Cat.

[15:53] Sure.

[15:53] Opposites Attract and Attracting Opposites.

Stuart Wellington

[15:56] A $10 donation gets you a high-five from Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[15:58] Yes.

[15:58] But travel costs, you have to pay yourself.

[16:01] Sure, of course.

[16:01] And you have to find me.

[16:02] You can't arrange it.

[16:04] It's if you come to New York, see me on the street, walking to work or something,

[16:07] and you go, $10 for Opposites Attract, I will high-five you.

Dan McCoy

[16:11] For $50, you get an animated pair of parachute pants.

Elliott Kalan

[16:14] Yeah, but I draw them.

Stuart Wellington

[16:16] And for $5,000, you get dinner with Elliot.

[16:19] Wow.

[16:19] You pay for the dinner.

[16:20] Yeah.

[16:21] In Stewart's house.

[16:22] That's what's weird.

Elliott Kalan

[16:23] Is it Stewart will turn it into a French restaurant for one night, Shea Stewart.

[16:27] Yep.

[16:27] Which weird is he serves Beef Wellington, which is an English dish.

[16:30] That is weird, right?

[16:31] But that's Shea Stewart.

[16:32] What are you going to do?

Stuart Wellington

[16:33] Beef Wellington and Beef Stew.

[16:35] There's a lot of Beef Stewart Wellingtons in this.

Elliott Kalan

[16:37] He also puts a mustache on and talks in a French accent.

[16:39] Okay.

[16:39] And what will Monsieur have to drink?

[16:41] For 5,000 hours?

[16:42] Oh, an excellent choice.

[16:44] An excellent vintage.

[16:47] So anyway, this movie is...

[16:48] Would Sarah care to tap the Rockies tonight?

[16:51] I will say about this movie that the actors in it try fairly hard to make...

Stuart Wellington

[16:58] I like that I'm really selling Coors Light in that version of the story.

[17:02] Well, the markup is insane.

[17:04] You're charging $20 a can.

[17:06] That's the thing.

[17:07] I get a little bit of a cut out of that.

[17:09] The thing is, you've got totally different motivations.

[17:11] Elliot's all about his MC Skat Cat project.

[17:14] You're more a Coors Light booster.

[17:16] Well, I want to get the party started.

[17:18] And the best way to do that is to have a giant train that sheds ice and beer.

Elliott Kalan

[17:23] Science shows us that parties are best started by a train in the mountains that shoots beer at giants playing volleyball.

[17:30] It comes down from the mountains.

Stuart Wellington

[17:32] Yeah, to a bevy of babes and skinis.

[17:35] It's a lot of bees.

Elliott Kalan

[17:36] A lot of alliteration from Stuart Wellington.

[17:38] Also, Shea Stewart, tableside pouring service.

[17:42] You pay a little extra, but that's okay.

[17:45] So, I will say, every actor in this movie is trying hard.

[17:49] I don't think, maybe Kate Hudson's phoning it in.

[17:51] They seem to be trying hard to stay awake, to be honest with you.

[17:54] I mean that.

[17:55] The quality of material they're working with is so low.

[17:57] Just the fact that they change their facial expressions.

Dan McCoy

[18:01] I do feel like they're trying to sell it.

[18:03] I mean, Kate Hudson, I think, is the worst in the movie, which is a shame.

[18:07] Because she's the star.

Elliott Kalan

[18:08] Even when she is riding a bicycle down the street in her pajamas, drinking whiskey out of a bottle, she is...

[18:14] A real E.T. moment.

[18:15] Yeah.

[18:16] Because E.T. was drunk at the time.

[18:18] Actually, that was a joke from an episode of The Critic, now that I think about it.

Dan McCoy

[18:21] But, I mean, aside from Mr. MC Scat Cat himself, Romany Malko, you've got a strong backing supporting cat.

Elliott Kalan

[18:28] You've got Kathy Bates.

[18:29] Kathy Bates.

[18:30] Treat Williams.

[18:31] Steven Weber as Kate Hudson's boss.

[18:32] Lucy Punch.

[18:33] Lucy Punch as her best friend.

[18:36] Rosemary DeWitt.

[18:37] As her other best friend.

[18:38] Peter Dinklage.

[18:39] Peter Dinklage appears as a dwarf gigolo.

[18:42] Of course, dwarf gigolo.

[18:43] Peter Dinklage.

[18:44] They're not going to put him in a cyborg body.

[18:45] So, play a full-size person.

[18:48] A dwarf gigolo with the nickname A Little Bit of Heaven.

Stuart Wellington

[18:51] So, that's how we get the title, By the Way.

Elliott Kalan

[18:53] Yes.

[18:54] And to get the title of the movie, they have to bring in a totally extraneous character who

[18:58] appears in one scene.

Stuart Wellington

[18:59] Well, and he teaches her the valuable lesson of, hey, I know you're dying, but you've got

[19:03] to live your life, you know?

[19:04] Yeah.

[19:04] You've got to do a lot of fun shit.

[19:06] Mainly by playing...

[19:06] You can't judge a book by its cover, man.

Elliott Kalan

[19:08] And they mainly live by playing Texas Hold'em together.

[19:10] The...

[19:10] I think...

[19:11] You can't judge a book by its cover.

[19:13] That's not the lesson at all.

Dan McCoy

[19:14] But that's the lesson he teaches her.

[19:16] It doesn't apply to the movie.

[19:17] It's not like they fall in love.

[19:19] It's...

[19:19] Well, no.

[19:21] He's like, take another look.

[19:23] Give love a chance, man.

[19:24] You can have love in one night.

[19:25] Because I'm a dwarf doesn't mean you can't love me.

Elliott Kalan

[19:27] And Peter Dinklage has a mustache and like blonde...

[19:31] And dyed blonde hair.

[19:32] Died blonde big hair.

[19:34] And like instantly...

[19:35] You know what?

[19:35] I'm going to add him up.

[19:36] Fourth likable.

[19:36] I'm going to make him fourth most likable because I would love to see a series where

[19:41] Peter Dinklage's Gigolo, A Little Bit of Heaven, has to solve mysteries or save a business.

[19:46] I don't care what.

[19:47] He's so charming.

[19:49] I'm going to put him...

[19:49] Look, Gigolo's getting to all kinds of hijinks.

[19:51] That's an Emmy.

[19:52] He is a close fourth to white-haired man on the escalator when it comes to likable characters.

Stuart Wellington

[19:58] So I think part of what they're trying to do with the movie is...

[20:02] Is bore people to death.

[20:03] Well, they have this character who...

Dan McCoy

[20:06] Is a backdoor pilot for a series about women who have ass cancer.

Elliott Kalan

[20:13] A new woman.

[20:14] So...

[20:15] He's a dwarf Gigolo who teaches a woman with ass cancer a different lesson every week.

Stuart Wellington

[20:20] And the only way that she can survive is if there's a surprise procedure performed by Dr.

[20:26] Orangutan MD.

[20:27] Yeah.

[20:27] With Stanley sitting there going, uh-oh, this is never going to work.

[20:31] Yeah.

[20:32] Smoking a cigar.

[20:33] And it's called...

Elliott Kalan

[20:34] David...

[20:34] It's called...

[20:35] It's called...

[20:36] J.J.

[20:38] Abrams Butt Buddies.

[20:40] J.J.

[20:40] Abrams is attached to executive produce.

[20:45] So you have a movie where...

[20:46] There's a way we could tie the butt patrol into this.

[20:49] I think we could really...

[20:50] You're a member, right, Dan?

[20:51] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[20:52] So you have a character who gets ass cancer.

[20:56] Colon cancer.

[20:57] Let's call it colon cancer.

Elliott Kalan

[20:58] In the movie, they repeatedly refer to it as ass cancer, which is not really accurate.

[21:02] It's not in her ass.

[21:03] It's in her colon.

[21:04] So she has colon cancer and...

[21:07] Semi-colon cancer.

[21:08] Not as bad.

[21:09] Still painful.

Stuart Wellington

[21:09] And then she has to...

[21:10] A lot of people misuse it, though.

[21:12] Fall in love with somebody, and then she dies.

[21:15] Spoiler alert.

[21:16] So I think what they try and sell you on is that pre-finding out that she has cancer, she

[21:22] was living her life wrong in some way.

Elliott Kalan

[21:24] I guess she was too focused on work.

[21:27] She refused to have relationships with guys.

[21:30] We see her make a booty call to a gentleman, have sex with him, and then kick him out and

[21:35] say, I don't want relationships.

Dan McCoy

[21:36] Yeah, it was like the guy who was the alien bounty hunter in X-Files or something.

[21:40] I think that was the...

[21:41] He probably was an alien bounty hunter.

Elliott Kalan

[21:43] Again, it would make the movie so much more interesting if he was.

[21:45] He was a character actor you would recognize.

[21:46] But here's the thing.

[21:47] She is living her life like there's no tomorrow.

[21:50] And then she gets cancer.

[21:51] Wait, before or after?

[21:52] Before the cancer.

[21:53] And then the lesson of the movie seems to be, live your life like there's a tomorrow,

[21:56] even when there isn't.

[21:57] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[21:58] Lesson seems to be, get cancer, be a dick to everyone for a while, and then at the last

[22:03] minute, don't be a dick.

[22:05] Here's the other thing.

Elliott Kalan

[22:06] She is a dick to everyone.

[22:07] And they react the way that you would if a friend was a dick to you.

[22:10] They get mad at her.

[22:11] They stop talking.

[22:11] They have arguments.

[22:12] But when you're dying, you can be a dick to everybody way much more than she pulled

[22:16] off.

[22:17] People have to let you do it until they reach a bigger breaking point.

[22:20] And there could have been even more tension in the movie if she is lashing out at them

[22:24] to get them to show that they're as worried about this as she is, but is pretending not

[22:28] to be.

[22:28] And they refuse to do it because they think they're just making things easier for her.

[22:32] So she has to lash out more.

[22:34] And then finally, they do reach a breaking point.

[22:36] And they realize that this is what they needed was to actually get mad at each other.

[22:40] That would have been a way better movie.

[22:41] That would have been a movie about real emotions.

Stuart Wellington

[22:43] I wanted that scene and a scene of bloody poop.

[22:47] I'm just keeping track.

[22:47] We don't need the bloody poop scene.

Elliott Kalan

[22:49] I would just have loved if the audience knew that she was experiencing the symptoms of a

[22:54] serious problem before she tells the doctor because it comes as a weird surprise.

[22:59] Like, why are you so blasé about this if there's been blood in your poop?

Stuart Wellington

[23:02] Yeah, it's only like it's not a surprise because you're going into this movie knowing what

[23:07] it's about.

Elliott Kalan

[23:07] Yeah.

[23:07] Let me say, maybe I'll get too personal here.

[23:09] Because you read about it on Rotten Tomatoes or something.

[23:11] Maybe I'm getting too personal here.

[23:13] I've never had blood in my stool.

[23:15] But as a man who's passed multiple kidney stones, like even knowing what's going on.

[23:21] You're going to put down on the Coca-Cola, I think.

[23:23] I don't drink a lot of Coca-Cola these days.

[23:24] It's probably related to spinach is one possibility.

[23:27] Oh, that's weird.

[23:27] But that's where I get my strength and I need that to save my wife from Bluto.

[23:31] So it's a real bind.

[23:33] But even knowing, I know the symptoms of a kidney stone.

[23:35] I know what it feels like.

[23:36] I know how the process goes.

[23:38] It's still really scary.

[23:40] So if she was dealing with something she had never dealt with before, didn't know what

[23:44] it was, she would be super frightened.

[23:46] She wouldn't be so like, yeah, I guess my tummy hurts and there's blood in my poop.

[23:50] Whatever, Doc.

[23:50] Lay it on me.

[23:51] I know you're just trying to soak me for the bill.

[23:53] Nothing's going wrong.

[23:55] Unless she's eating blood sausage, there should not be blood in her poop and not be surprised.

[23:58] There's a problem with the seriousness.

[24:00] Is that what happens when you eat blood sausage?

[24:01] Yeah, but it's worth it.

[24:02] It's delicious.

[24:03] Okay.

[24:03] Here's how you eat blood sausage.

[24:04] The first bite, delicious.

[24:06] It's like meat chocolate cake.

[24:08] Second bite tastes disgusting.

[24:09] The third bite, delicious.

[24:11] And every bite after that is delicious.

[24:13] It's like a Krispy Kreme donut.

[24:14] Kind of, yeah.

[24:15] But made with blood.

[24:16] I would agree with that.

Dan McCoy

[24:16] I mean like the secret to eating blood pudding is forgetting that you're eating congealed blood.

Elliott Kalan

[24:20] Oh, not for me.

[24:21] I like to feel I'm absorbing the strength and power of the animal.

[24:24] Sure.

[24:25] I have all the power of a pig now.

[24:28] But then I eat beef hearts the way other people eat apples.

[24:31] Just take a bite.

[24:32] Maybe I'll peel them with a knife, but you know, just take a bite out of them.

Dan McCoy

[24:36] No, but I think you come to a good point about the seriousness of this film.

[24:39] Like the tone of this is all wrong.

[24:40] And sometimes I make candy beef hearts.

[24:42] Okay.

[24:43] If this was a better movie, what you're describing would be right.

[24:47] Yeah.

[24:47] Like she's driving everyone, she's driving everyone away until it reaches a breaking point and then there's-

[24:53] Catharsis.

[24:53] Catharsis, yes.

Elliott Kalan

[24:55] Whereas this movie-

[24:55] And she says, I really am scared.

[24:58] Right.

[24:58] I didn't know how to express it.

[24:59] Blah, blah, blah.

Dan McCoy

[25:00] And this movie treats everything so lightly.

[25:02] And there are no stakes because you know that when she dies, she's just going to go up to heaven with Whoopi Goldberg.

Elliott Kalan

[25:07] Yeah.

[25:07] There's one scene where Kathy Bates cooks her a steak.

[25:09] That's the closest the movie has to having any steaks.

Dan McCoy

[25:11] But the thing is like, because this is such a light movie, her being an asshole just lands so much harder.

[25:19] Like she's being a dick to her mom through the whole movie.

[25:23] Maybe her being an asshole is reflective.

[25:24] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[25:25] Oh.

[25:27] Maybe.

[25:28] That thing we talked about earlier.

[25:29] This movie's a lot deeper than I thought.

[25:31] Wink.

[25:32] Wink.

Dan McCoy

[25:32] I'm glad you said wink.

[25:33] Yep.

[25:34] For the audience.

[25:35] But you're right.

[25:35] I just feel bad about like Kathy Bates is her mom.

[25:38] Like I'm just like you are mistreating your mom not realizing how difficult it is for her saying her daughter be sick.

Elliott Kalan

[25:45] And similarly we keep hearing from Kathy Bates and Kate Hudson how horrible her dad is.

[25:50] Her dad's so cold and unemotional.

[25:52] But we never see it.

[25:53] And it's fucking Treat Williams.

[25:54] And that dude is amazing.

[25:55] He's a treat.

[25:56] It's hard to imagine Treat Williams as a cold monster.

[25:59] Even having been in the substitute movies.

Stuart Wellington

[26:01] I can only imagine him riding around on a jet ski blasting alien tentacles with a shotgun.

Elliott Kalan

[26:06] But he looks like a teddy bear doing that.

[26:07] So deep.

[26:08] Deep rising.

Stuart Wellington

[26:09] I just.

[26:10] I watch that movie a lot Dan.

[26:12] Sure.

[26:13] I watch it before any major event in my life.

[26:15] My wedding.

[26:16] My graduation from cooking school.

[26:18] My graduation from stripping school.

Dan McCoy

[26:21] It was the same school Stuart.

[26:23] It was a stripping cooking school.

[26:25] I think this may be a self-fulfilling thing.

[26:27] I think you may be associating Treat Williams with all the warm moments in your life.

Stuart Wellington

[26:31] I don't know what this self-fulfilling thing means.

[26:34] Sure.

[26:34] I just know that Deep Rising is amazing.

[26:36] And Wes Studi is in it.

[26:38] And he does not blast anything with a shotgun.

[26:40] He gets blasted.

[26:42] I honestly don't know.

Elliott Kalan

[26:43] And I don't know if it's in the purview of this episode.

[26:48] It's more interesting than the movie.

[26:49] Much like Stanley.

[26:50] But you make a good point that because the movie is so lighthearted.

[26:54] She really.

[26:55] It feels like she's really abusing people.

[26:57] And we're never given a reason why we should continue to like this person or care about her.

[27:02] It's kind of like young adult in a way where.

[27:05] In young adult Charlize Theron is a jerk to everybody.

[27:08] But the point of the movie is.

[27:09] She's unhappy.

[27:10] And that makes her a jerk to everybody.

[27:12] And I didn't think the movie pulled that off particularly well.

[27:14] But it pulls it off much better than this one.

Dan McCoy

[27:16] But at least in that movie.

[27:17] Like that's a dark comedy.

[27:18] So you're supposed to understand that like her behavior is not good.

[27:22] It's supposed to be heartwarming.

[27:22] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:23] But it's still.

[27:24] She didn't get enough of a comeuppance.

Dan McCoy

[27:26] I liked young adult more than.

Elliott Kalan

[27:28] You liked it more than I did also.

[27:29] I also didn't find it that funny.

Dan McCoy

[27:30] But I think that totally it makes more sense.

[27:31] No.

[27:32] Certainly.

Elliott Kalan

[27:32] Very much so.

Dan McCoy

[27:33] This movie is supposed to be like a lighthearted rom-com about Ask Cancer.

Stuart Wellington

[27:36] And referencing young adult Charlize Theron makes herself look way grosser than Kate Hudson ever makes herself look.

[27:41] She makes herself look.

[27:42] Despite her puffiness.

Elliott Kalan

[27:43] Affirmative.

[27:44] She makes herself look like someone who is struggling to get through life.

[27:47] You know.

[27:48] And doesn't know what to do with herself.

Dan McCoy

[27:50] Whereas.

[27:51] Yeah.

[27:51] Manic depressive alcoholic.

Elliott Kalan

[27:52] Which is what her character is.

[27:53] Whereas Kate Hudson like just looks.

[27:55] Yeah.

[27:55] Just looks kind of like puffy.

[27:57] And like she woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

[27:58] And didn't put her makeup on.

[27:59] She looks like she had bad allergies.

[28:00] That's all going on.

[28:00] She looks like she's experiencing hay fever the whole time.

[28:03] Like she has fatal hay fever.

[28:04] Maybe the doctor should have checked her for hay fever guys.

[28:07] That could have been the problem.

[28:08] Ask hay fever.

[28:10] I've been treating her wrong all along.

Dan McCoy

[28:13] My butt keeps sneezing.

Elliott Kalan

[28:15] Here's my other.

[28:16] Here's my.

[28:17] What's.

[28:18] Those are just farts Kate.

[28:19] Those are just farts.

[28:20] Your butt is not sneezing.

[28:22] My butt has smelly sneezes.

[28:25] This is a really highbrow episode of the Flop S.

[28:27] But I guess when we're watching the ass cancer movie we're going to be talking about butts and farts.

[28:30] Clareton.

[28:31] Butt sneezes.

[28:32] Butt Clareton.

[28:33] Blue butt.

[28:35] Smiling at me.

[28:36] Clareton.

[28:39] So here's something I'm going to.

[28:40] Here's a theory I'll bring in.

[28:42] Okay.

[28:42] Our good friend.

[28:44] I'll allow it.

[28:45] This time.

[28:46] Thanks Flop Judge.

[28:47] It's the auteur theory.

[28:49] It postulates.

[28:50] The director is the author of the film.

[28:52] Even if he didn't write the script.

[28:54] Our friend.

[28:55] Friend of the show.

[28:56] I Love Bad Movies publisher.

[28:58] Senia Yorosh.

[28:59] Does a presentation.

[29:00] About something called.

[29:02] What's it called?

[29:04] Love Story Disease.

[29:06] LSD.

[29:07] Which your movie is about.

[29:09] A guy.

[29:10] A dopey guy.

[29:11] Who gets a new lease on life.

[29:12] When he falls in love with a quirky woman.

[29:14] Who is going to die.

[29:16] This is that movie.

[29:17] But it's told from the girl's point of view.

[29:19] It's a quirky girl who's going to die.

[29:21] She meets her doctor.

[29:22] Who's kind of like a straight laced guy.

[29:24] Who needs to loosen up.

[29:24] Gael Garcia Bernal.

[29:26] Yeah.

[29:26] And she gets him to loosen up.

[29:27] But it's told from her point of view.

[29:29] And it seems.

[29:31] And it's just.

[29:31] The movie's all off balance.

[29:33] She has like no character arc.

[29:35] Nothing really happens.

[29:36] Except her getting mad at people.

[29:38] And then.

[29:39] Break.

[29:39] You know.

[29:40] Having arguments.

[29:41] And then she apologizes.

[29:42] It's like.

[29:43] They tried to tell that story.

[29:45] Backwards.

[29:46] And it didn't work at all.

[29:47] And it's a dumb story to tell to begin with.

[29:49] But.

[29:49] I wonder if that was the thinking.

[29:51] Almost behind it.

[29:52] Was like.

[29:52] Let's tell that girl's story.

[29:54] Let's.

[29:54] Let's turn this convention on its.

[29:56] On its ear.

Dan McCoy

[29:57] Exactly.

[29:58] If that's true.

[29:58] I will give the movie credit.

[30:00] In one regard.

[30:00] Which is.

[30:01] This is the only movie like that.

[30:03] Where.

[30:03] The main character does not get.

[30:05] More beautiful.

[30:06] As she gets sicker.

[30:07] That's true.

[30:07] Like they actually did.

[30:09] Even though.

[30:10] It still looked like.

[30:11] The symptoms of a cold.

Stuart Wellington

[30:12] I mean when she's a ghost at the end.

[30:13] She looks banging dude.

[30:15] Sure.

[30:15] Oh yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[30:15] But she's a ghost.

[30:16] She's healthy then.

[30:17] You want to have sex with that ghost.

[30:18] Yeah I do.

[30:19] I'm like Ray Stans on that belt.

[30:22] You just want to be lying back.

[30:24] Ghost undoing your belt.

[30:25] Giving you a blowjob.

[30:27] And then.

[30:28] Immediate cross eyes.

[30:29] And then immediate cross eyes.

[30:30] Because in the 80s.

[30:31] Blowjobs gave you cross eyes.

[30:33] Blowjob technology had just been invented.

Stuart Wellington

[30:37] My teacher always told me.

[30:38] If I kept doing that.

[30:39] They'd stay that way.

[30:41] So.

[30:41] If you kept getting blowjobs.

[30:43] They would stay that way.

[30:43] Yeah.

[30:44] Yeah.

[30:44] That made me terrified of getting blowjobs.

Elliott Kalan

[30:47] What class was this?

[30:49] What subject was this?

[30:49] Sex ed.

[30:50] Oh okay.

[30:50] Well that's.

[30:51] I think you may have been given inaccurate information.

[30:54] Okay.

[30:54] Well I'll take it up with my teacher.

[30:56] You still keep in touch?

[30:57] Oh yeah.

[30:58] We're on Facebook.

[30:59] Oh really?

[31:00] That seems inappropriate.

[31:01] You don't do Facebook?

Dan McCoy

[31:02] Well that seems inappropriate.

[31:03] Not the fact that they talked about blowjobs all the time?

Elliott Kalan

[31:05] It's the sex ed class.

[31:07] All right.

[31:07] Yeah.

[31:08] But specifically blowjobs.

[31:08] You talk about blowjobs all the time.

[31:10] Yeah.

[31:10] Come on.

[31:11] My sex ed class in high school.

[31:11] How else can a guy get off?

Dan McCoy

[31:12] Was called Blowjobs 101.

[31:15] Stuart we need to talk after the podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[31:17] We've talked about butt cancer.

[31:20] Blowjobs.

[31:21] Ghosts.

[31:22] Butt sneezes.

[31:23] All right.

[31:25] Orangutans.

[31:26] Dr. Orangutan MD.

Elliott Kalan

[31:28] And his sidekick Stanley the dog.

[31:30] I think.

[31:31] I think we've managed to avoid most of the movie.

Dan McCoy

[31:34] I think maybe we actually need to get on to Final Judges.

[31:37] Wrap things up.

[31:38] Because we have a lot of news actually to talk about.

[31:40] Oh that's right.

[31:40] We do actually.

Elliott Kalan

[31:42] The news hinted at earlier in an earlier episode.

Dan McCoy

[31:44] So this is the Final Judgment section.

[31:48] Where we talk about how this is.

[31:49] Whether this is a good bad movie.

[31:51] A bad bad movie.

[31:52] Or a movie you kind of liked.

Elliott Kalan

[31:54] Elliot what do you have to say for yourself.

[31:55] I think in the interest of speeding this section along.

[31:56] I'll speak for all of us.

[31:57] This was a bad bad movie.

[31:59] I think this was the most.

[32:01] Will you allow it?

[32:02] Yep.

[32:02] I'll allow it.

[32:03] This was the.

[32:03] I think highest proportion of the movie was spent with us.

[32:06] Looking at our phones.

[32:08] Or desperately.

[32:09] Or watching Dan's cat just lie there.

[32:11] It was very hard to.

[32:13] It was just a really not good.

[32:15] Very.

[32:15] Like.

[32:16] Boringly and insultingly bad movie.

Dan McCoy

[32:18] If we.

[32:18] If we made a major Olivia Wildgate style error in this podcast.

[32:23] I apologize.

[32:24] But it was.

[32:24] I apologize for nothing.

Elliott Kalan

[32:27] Hamburger and steak dude.

[32:28] Yes.

[32:29] Horrible.

[32:29] That's not even what he was referring to.

[32:31] But that is still something I'm disgusted by.

[32:35] But yeah.

[32:36] That's.

[32:37] If we made any mistakes with the plot.

[32:38] Please don't correct us.

[32:39] Because then it means you'll have watched the movie.

[32:41] And we'll feel bad about it.

[32:44] So.

[32:44] A little bit of heaven.

[32:45] Are we going to make our announcement.

[32:46] Or go to the letters first.

[32:47] Thumbs down.

[32:48] Well.

[32:48] Thumbs down.

[32:49] Two thumbs down.

[32:51] Before we make an announcement.

Dan McCoy

[32:52] I give it zero out of a million stars.

[32:54] Before we make the announcement.

[32:55] I want to quickly.

[32:57] Thank for their donations.

[32:58] Martin J.

[33:00] Daniel B.

[33:01] And Luke S.

Elliott Kalan

[33:01] Thank you so much.

[33:02] Thank you guys.

[33:02] Thank you very much.

[33:04] We appreciate it.

[33:05] Thank you for your kind hearts.

[33:07] Your open wallets.

[33:09] and your cornets

[33:10] your kind hearts and your cornets

[33:12] your kind hearts and your cornets yeah

[33:13] because we haven't

[33:15] we haven't been making enough Ealing pictures

[33:18] references in this podcast

[33:20] so uh

[33:22] when are we going to Lavender Hill Mob joke in here

[33:24] now I think

[33:26] okay done keep moving on

Dan McCoy

[33:28] let's keep on keeping on shall we

[33:30] this is the point where we

[33:32] reveal something

[33:34] you're fucking prefacing it

Elliott Kalan

[33:37] yeah this is the point in every show where we make a big announcement

Stuart Wellington

[33:40] so last week we talked

[33:42] last time we talked about some shit and we argued

[33:44] for a while and it turns out we shouldn't have been arguing

Elliott Kalan

[33:46] yeah we could have just revealed it and I apologize

[33:48] for second guessing Dan

[33:50] I apologize for nothing it was hilarious

Stuart Wellington

[33:51] it was hilarious

[33:53] it kept the asses in the seats

[33:55] kept them sneezing away

Dan McCoy

[33:58] starting October the 1st

[34:00] our good friend Al Madrigal

[34:03] Al Madrigal

Elliott Kalan

[34:04] you may know him as Al Madrigal the new Stuart Wellington

[34:06] and I want to give a shout out to

[34:09] I mean he's better right

[34:10] apparently Al gave a

[34:12] gave a performance at Ohio State University

[34:15] and a Flophouse fan was there

[34:17] and it just reminded us

[34:19] what a broad reach this podcast has

[34:21] that goes all the way to OSU

[34:23] thanks OSU student

[34:24] for listening to the Flophouse

[34:26] but continue

[34:26] Al Madrigal

[34:27] continue

Dan McCoy

[34:28] our good friend Al Madrigal

[34:29] is starting up a podcast network

[34:33] now you may be familiar with the podcast networks

[34:36] there's the Earwolf Network

[34:39] Earwolf

Elliott Kalan

[34:39] the width of an ear

[34:41] that's the perfect width for a podcast

[34:43] because ears are what the podcast goes into

Dan McCoy

[34:46] there's the Nerdist Network

[34:48] sure

[34:48] but Al is starting something called

[34:50] All Things Comedy

[34:51] ATC

Elliott Kalan

[34:53] All Things Comedy

Dan McCoy

[34:54] some of the people

[34:55] are we pitching people on it

[34:56] or

[34:56] we're telling them

[34:57] I'm just talking about what it is

[34:58] some of the folks involved

[34:59] some of the podcasts involved

[35:01] you got

[35:02] your Greg Berent

[35:03] you got your

[35:04] Eddie Pepitone

[35:05] you got

[35:06] Harlan Williams

Elliott Kalan

[35:08] is Bill Burr involved

[35:09] Bill Burr

Dan McCoy

[35:10] big names

[35:11] big names

[35:11] much bigger names than us

[35:12] yeah

[35:13] much larger names than us

[35:14] I would say much funnier

Elliott Kalan

[35:16] well

[35:17] some of them maybe

[35:18] yeah

[35:19] and Al Madrigal

[35:19] hey you're funny guys

[35:20] Stuart

[35:20] hey thanks

Stuart Wellington

[35:21] that's what I was fishing for

Dan McCoy

[35:23] you're equally funny

Stuart Wellington

[35:25] that's a comedy callback

[35:27] comedy callback

[35:28] review callback

[35:29] anyway Dan

Dan McCoy

[35:30] and Al's podcast

[35:33] his own podcast

[35:34] Minivan Men

[35:34] but he's put together

[35:36] half man

[35:36] half minivan

[35:37] this network

[35:38] which is a podcast

[35:40] all man

[35:40] collective

[35:41] and by collective

[35:44] I mean to point that out

[35:46] by saying that

[35:46] it's like the Borg

[35:47] the fact that we're part of this

[35:49] does not mean that anything

[35:50] is going to change

[35:51] yeah

[35:52] this podcast will remain

[35:53] almost entirely the same

[35:55] we will be a

[35:57] basically independent unit

[35:59] within this larger

[36:00] comedy network

[36:01] what

[36:02] we will gain from this

[36:03] is

[36:04] greater listenership

[36:06] hopefully

[36:07] new flop fans

[36:08] new floppers

[36:09] and

[36:09] perhaps

[36:10] a little money

[36:11] cha-ching

[36:12] what will happen

[36:15] in terms of you listening

[36:17] is almost nothing different

[36:19] however

[36:19] we will warn you

[36:21] there will

[36:22] likely be

[36:23] at some point in the future

[36:24] some advertisements

[36:25] some light adage

Elliott Kalan

[36:26] some light

[36:27] light sponsor announcement

[36:28] but

[36:29] not

[36:30] pre-recorded ads

[36:32] or anything like that

[36:32] right

[36:33] no I believe

Dan McCoy

[36:33] that we'll be doing

[36:34] the ad copy

Elliott Kalan

[36:35] we'll be

[36:36] we'll be doing it

[36:36] the old fashioned way

[36:37] it'll just be like

[36:38] the old

[36:38] Gracie Burns

[36:39] George Allen show

[36:40] where

[36:40] I got the names

[36:41] backwards

[36:42] where

[36:42] they were like

[36:43] let's tell some funny jokes

[36:45] and then we'll enjoy

[36:46] some Maxwell House coffee

[36:47] ooh delicious coffee

[36:48] now back to the jokes

Dan McCoy

[36:49] and now the music

[36:51] of Meredith Wilson

[36:51] and his orchestra

[36:52] but I want to say this

[36:54] about this

[36:55] Meredith Wilson the playwright

[36:55] what

[36:56] anyway keep going

[36:57] Meredith Wilson

[36:57] who did Music Man

[36:59] was also the music guy

[37:00] for the Jack Benny show

[37:02] oh I didn't realize that

Dan McCoy

[37:02] oh I didn't realize that

Stuart Wellington

[37:02] oh we kind of like how

[37:03] on RuPaul's Drag Race

[37:04] RuPaul's always promoting

[37:06] Iron Fist Shoes

[37:07] as her various other products

[37:09] Iron Fist Shoes

[37:10] that's the name of them

[37:11] I'm not making it up

[37:12] really and Marvel is okay with that

Dan McCoy

[37:13] yeah totally cool

[37:14] but I just want to say that

[37:15] in terms of

[37:16] this becoming

[37:17] a sell out proposition

[37:20] if we're selling out

[37:22] well it's true

[37:23] we are selling out

Elliott Kalan

[37:23] also Stuart's being replaced

[37:25] by a cartoon cat

[37:26] again

[37:26] I'm going to be replaced

[37:28] with Dustin Diamond

[37:30] and Dan is going to be replaced

[37:32] with Tiffany Amber Thiessen

[37:33] that's right

[37:34] it's a two part

[37:35] Saved by the Bell reunion

[37:36] and the cartoon cat

[37:37] was in the pilot

[37:38] for Saved by the Bell

[37:38] it's a total sell out move

[37:40] we're all going to move

[37:41] to Malibu

[37:42] and buy houses

[37:43] and surf all day

[37:44] and sleep all night

[37:46] no I just wanted to say

[37:47] that

[37:47] where do I sign

[37:49] right here

Dan McCoy

[37:50] in this devil contract

[37:51] this podcast

[37:52] was never meant

[37:53] to be a money making enterprise

[37:54] not at all

[37:55] and it has succeeded

Elliott Kalan

[37:56] it has succeeded

[37:57] by leaps and bounds

[37:58] beyond our wildest dreams

Dan McCoy

[38:00] yeah

[38:01] mission accomplished

[38:02] no money

[38:02] no but I find

[38:03] I find it hard to believe

[38:04] that it might become one

[38:06] at some time

[38:06] and if anyone is afraid

[38:08] of us selling out

[38:09] let me just point out

[38:10] that it is still a podcast

[38:11] so the level of selling out

[38:14] is commiserate

[38:16] to the medium

[38:17] well I think

Elliott Kalan

[38:17] I can speak for all of us

[38:19] maybe when I say

[38:20] that the reason we do this

[38:20] is because we enjoy doing it

[38:22] and we get pleasure

[38:24] out of doing it

[38:25] we get pleasure

[38:26] out of knowing people

[38:26] listen to it

[38:27] and enjoy it

[38:27] we get pleasure

[38:28] a lot of pleasure

[38:28] out of hearing back

[38:29] from you

[38:29] and getting your letters

[38:31] and things like that

[38:32] it would be great

[38:33] for us to get some money

[38:34] from it

[38:35] but the main drive

[38:36] is still

[38:36] because we love doing it

[38:37] because we love hearing

[38:38] from you

[38:39] and we hope you still enjoy it

[38:40] so we're not going to

[38:41] change the podcast

[38:41] to try to chase the buck

[38:43] or anything

Dan McCoy

[38:43] and the primary reason

[38:44] that we were interested

[38:45] in joining this collective

[38:46] was to grow the podcast

[38:48] in terms of the audience

[38:50] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[38:51] so that we could get

[38:52] more floppies out there

[38:53] so

[38:54] no I agree

[38:55] I'm with you guys on this

[38:57] Stuart was a little wary

[38:58] at first

[38:59] but only be

[39:00] as I said

[39:00] more floppies

[39:01] we already have too many

[39:03] but only because

[39:04] he originally came up

[39:05] with the idea

[39:05] for two broke girls

[39:06] and signed it away

[39:08] it was called

Stuart Wellington

[39:08] two bloke girls

[39:09] and it was two guys

[39:10] that were girls

[39:11] they're also English

[39:13] so

Dan McCoy

[39:15] also

[39:16] while we're in a

[39:18] sort of housekeeping

[39:18] part of the show

[39:19] we should plug

[39:21] something

[39:22] our next live

[39:23] Flophouse screaming

Elliott Kalan

[39:24] yeah

[39:25] and then I've got to plug too

[39:26] as long as we're plugging things

Dan McCoy

[39:27] at 92Y Tribeca

[39:28] on November the 2nd

[39:30] we will be doing

[39:32] our fourth screening

[39:33] where we will riff

[39:34] over a movie

Elliott Kalan

[39:36] we're going to talk

[39:36] over a movie

[39:37] do some bits

Stuart Wellington

[39:38] I wouldn't use the term riff

[39:39] that gets us close

[39:40] to copyright infringement

[39:41] I mean

Dan McCoy

[39:42] the idea of a riff

Elliott Kalan

[39:43] riff over some kind of track

[39:45] we're just going to

[39:46] we're just going to

[39:46] MST3K a movie

[39:48] I mean

Dan McCoy

[39:49] it's a jazz term

[39:50] before it was anything

[39:51] associated with

[39:52] bad movies

[39:53] but sure

[39:53] we're going to be

[39:56] okay cat

[39:56] screaming the film

[39:58] jazz terms all of a sudden

[39:59] brats

[40:00] with a Z

[40:01] the movie

[40:01] brats

[40:02] now we've talked about

[40:03] brats a lot

[40:04] we did an episode of that

Stuart Wellington

[40:04] we laughed a lot

[40:05] about brats

[40:06] we loved a lot

[40:07] brats

[40:08] so

[40:09] you've probably

[40:11] already watched

[40:11] brats at home

[40:12] like a zillion times

[40:13] but have you seen it

[40:14] on the big screen

[40:15] no

[40:15] with three dudes

[40:16] talking over it

[40:17] the whole time

[40:17] maybe

[40:17] probably not

[40:18] probably not

[40:19] unless you're a future

[40:21] traveler

[40:21] again

[40:22] a chronomancer

[40:23] we'll be doing it

Elliott Kalan

[40:25] again

[40:26] in coordination

[40:26] with I Love Bad Movies

[40:27] the zine

[40:29] everybody loves to read

[40:30] and hopefully

[40:32] it'll be as enjoyable

[40:33] as our past screenings

[40:34] which were big hits

[40:36] and sold out

[40:37] and sold out

[40:38] so this might be

[40:39] a sell out crowd

[40:40] so get your tickets early

[40:41] get your tickets often

[40:42] run your walk

[40:43] huge sell out

[40:44] come to our show

[40:45] as we are

[40:46] because we joined a network

[40:47] and I also

[40:49] this is not a

[40:50] flophouse thing

[40:50] but I also want to mention

[40:51] at 92i Tribeca

[40:52] I'm going to be doing

[40:54] three nights

[40:54] of sketch comedy

[40:55] the first three Thursdays

[40:57] in October

[40:57] that's the 4th

[40:58] 11th and 18th

[40:59] it's a 10 year

[41:00] anniversary reunion

[41:01] of me and my sketch partner

[41:03] Brock Mahan

[41:03] together we're the hypocrites

[41:05] and we've been performing

[41:07] together off and on

[41:07] for about 10 years now

[41:08] we're going to do

[41:09] some of our old material

[41:10] and some of our new material

[41:11] and it should be a lot of fun

[41:12] we'll have special guests

[41:13] all that information

[41:14] is up on the 92i Tribeca website

[41:15] and Brock's been on the show

[41:16] before yeah

[41:17] yeah Brock's been the guest

[41:18] he was here for

[41:19] Paul Blart Mall Cop

[41:20] at least

[41:21] at least one more

[41:22] maybe three

[41:23] he's been a

[41:24] Stuart Standen

[41:25] and an Elliot Standen

[41:27] yeah yeah

[41:28] that's what I thought

[41:28] but we're going to be doing

[41:29] those shows

[41:30] at 92i Tribeca

[41:31] in case you can't wait

[41:31] until November

[41:32] and you need some

[41:33] Elliot Kalin related humor

[41:34] yeah you need a

[41:35] crack at Kalin

[41:37] yep a kale crack

Dan McCoy

[41:38] how was that

[41:39] that was good

[41:40] so

[41:41] housekeeping ended

[41:42] boring business

[41:44] taken care of

Elliott Kalan

[41:45] if you have any complaints

[41:46] about our joining this network

[41:48] please send them

[41:49] to the Flophouse

[41:50] shove them up your ass

[41:50] where you'll get ass cancer

[41:51] well I was going to say

[41:52] post them to the Flophouse

[41:53] Facebook page

[41:54] so we can make fun of them

[41:55] but

Dan McCoy

[41:55] so this is the

[41:57] Flophouse mailbag

[41:58] segment

[41:59] sure

[41:59] movie mailbag

Elliott Kalan

[42:00] movie mailbag

[42:02] mailbag for movies

[42:03] letters from movies

[42:05] writing letters

[42:06] how does a movie

[42:07] write a letter

[42:08] let's find out now

[42:10] Dan

Dan McCoy

[42:10] your songs

[42:11] your intro songs

[42:12] are getting more

[42:13] and more inaccurate

Elliott Kalan

[42:14] I'm moving my intro songs

[42:15] into strange new territories

Dan McCoy

[42:17] this letter is titled

[42:20] do you need another excuse

[42:22] to discuss Bratz

[42:23] the movie

[42:24] nope

[42:24] did Nostradamus write

[42:27] this letter

[42:28] in a quatrain

[42:30] it's titled

[42:31] yeah it's I'm sorry

[42:33] it's it's addressed

[42:34] dear OP

[42:35] original peaches

[42:36] nice

[42:37] I went back

[42:38] through the catalog

[42:39] and it seems like

[42:40] this was never discussed

[42:41] Eurasian Bratz

[42:42] love interest in the film

[42:43] was played by

[42:44] Chet Hanks

[42:45] the other child

[42:46] doomed to live

[42:47] in Tom's shadow

[42:48] Chet also appeared

[42:50] as student in library

[42:51] in the newest

[42:51] Indiana Jones

[42:52] and pizza delivery boy

[42:55] in Larry Crown

Elliott Kalan

[42:55] I'm just gonna mention

[42:56] that it's better

[42:58] to live in Tom Hanks' shadow

[42:59] than live in Tom Hanks' closet

[43:01] as his third son

[43:02] has had to do

[43:03] the evil son

[43:05] sure

[43:05] Shank Hanks

Dan McCoy

[43:06] but perhaps

[43:08] most importantly

[43:09] Chet has embarked

[43:10] on a rap career

[43:11] oh yeah

[43:12] under the name

[43:12] Chet Hayes

[43:13] oh that's weird

[43:14] and she has a

[43:15] YouTube link here

[43:16] that I'll throw up

[43:16] on the site

[43:17] a friend of mine's

Elliott Kalan

[43:19] brother has actually

[43:20] worked with him

[43:20] on those raps

Dan McCoy

[43:21] well she goes on

[43:22] to say

[43:23] Chet also attends

[43:24] Northwestern

[43:25] where I imagine

[43:26] he is taunted

[43:26] every day in the quad

[43:28] lots of love

[43:28] Sarah last name

[43:29] with home

[43:30] interesting thing

[43:30] to bring up

[43:31] until he sings

Elliott Kalan

[43:31] a rap about him

[43:32] yeah and then

[43:33] they're like

[43:33] whoa

[43:34] his solid rhymes

Stuart Wellington

[43:35] I actually

[43:37] makes her hair

[43:38] stand on end

[43:38] and then they

[43:39] try and top that

[43:40] like in T-Wet

Dan McCoy

[43:41] well they feel dissed

[43:43] which is short

[43:44] disrespected Stuart

[43:45] oh okay

[43:46] yeah

[43:46] the brother of a friend

Elliott Kalan

[43:48] of mine I believe

[43:48] worked as a like

[43:49] sound engineer

[43:50] producer on some

[43:51] of those raps

[43:51] to engineer the soundscapes

[43:53] yeah and you may know

[43:54] Northwestern as the

[43:55] alma mater of

[43:56] frequent flop house

[43:57] writer inner in

[43:58] irritating ways

[43:59] my brother David

[44:00] the soundscapes

[44:03] yeah he's

[44:03] he likes to

[44:04] he's really

[44:05] molding sound

[44:06] into shape

Dan McCoy

[44:06] so if you want to

[44:07] see the rapping

[44:09] child of America's

[44:11] male sweetheart

[44:12] come to Bratz

[44:13] the movie on

[44:13] November 2nd

[44:15] with us the flop house

[44:17] so this is titled

[44:19] knighthood disgraces

[44:21] dear floppers

[44:23] which actor with a

[44:25] knighthood do you

[44:25] think has disgraced

[44:26] themselves with their

[44:27] career choices

[44:28] sir Stuart Wellington

[44:29] it seems to me that

[44:31] the three obvious

[44:32] contenders are

[44:32] sir Sidney Poitier

[44:34] who directed ghost

[44:35] dad and to sir

[44:36] with love to

[44:37] decades after being

[44:38] knighted

[44:38] sir Michael Caine

[44:40] who starred in the

[44:41] hand and shared the

[44:43] screen with Jim

[44:44] Belushi and Mr.

[44:45] Destiny let's not

[44:45] forget Jaws 4

[44:46] and Sir Ben Kingsley

[44:48] Blood Rain

[44:49] Love Guru

[44:50] lots and lots of

[44:51] other shit

[44:52] the dark horse in

[44:53] the race seems to

[44:54] be Sam Neill who

[44:55] is a New Zealand

[44:55] title equivalent to

[44:56] the knighthood

[44:57] the New Zealand

[44:58] Order of Merit

[44:59] and is starred in

[45:00] that movie with

[45:00] the armored owls

[45:01] the trashiest of

[45:03] all Showtime shows

[45:04] and 1981's

[45:05] Possession

[45:06] where Isabella

[45:07] Adjiani has sex

Elliott Kalan

[45:09] with an octopus

[45:09] that's an amazing

[45:10] movie I will not

[45:11] have anything bad

[45:12] said about Possession

[45:13] if you if you

[45:14] guys this is

[45:14] not my

[45:15] recommendation for

[45:16] the night but

[45:16] if you guys have

[45:17] not seen Possession

[45:18] see it it is

[45:19] bat shit crazy

[45:20] Sam Neill's great

[45:22] in it Isabella

[45:22] Adjiani's great

[45:23] in it she has a

[45:24] scene in a subway

[45:25] tunnel where she

[45:26] goes crazy and is

[45:27] vomiting stuff up

[45:28] that goes on

[45:28] forever it's amazing

[45:29] and yes she has

[45:30] sex with a tentacle

[45:31] monster it's a

[45:33] fantastic movie

[45:33] it is bizarre

[45:34] it is a movie that

[45:36] is alternately

[45:36] it's a little too

[45:38] long it's a little

[45:38] slow but it is

[45:39] alternately bizarre

[45:40] and beautiful

[45:41] and it's a

[45:42] beautifully shot

[45:43] movie but anyway

[45:43] I would say

[45:44] oh is the

[45:45] letter not done

[45:46] oh it just

[45:46] says keep up

[45:47] the great work

Dan McCoy

[45:48] if you ever run

[45:48] out of ideas

[45:49] make Elliot

[45:49] inhale helium

[45:50] because nothing

[45:51] is funnier than

[45:52] a man inhaling a

[45:53] poisonous gas and

[45:54] then talking funny

[45:55] yours Lawrence

[45:56] last name with

[45:56] health I don't

[45:57] already Lawrence

[45:58] of Arabia

Elliott Kalan

[45:58] probably Lawrence

[46:00] von Arabia I

[46:02] don't already

[46:02] sound high pitched

[46:03] enough that I

[46:03] need helium to

[46:04] do not I

[46:05] do not I

[46:05] would say that

[46:07] there is a

[46:08] tradition in the

[46:09] British theater

[46:10] and it's called

[46:11] do it for the

[46:12] money yeah and

[46:13] I would feel

[46:14] I would feel

[46:15] they would not

[46:15] be holding up

[46:16] their end of the

[46:17] knighthood if they

[46:18] didn't take whatever

[46:18] crappy job they could

[46:20] that would pay them

Stuart Wellington

[46:20] like when Dame

[46:21] Judy Dench had to

[46:22] be an air

[46:22] elemental in

[46:24] the chronicles of

[46:24] Riddick

Elliott Kalan

[46:25] exactly or when

[46:26] my favorite story

[46:27] of this is when

[46:29] Sir Lawrence

[46:30] Olivier played

[46:30] Douglas MacArthur

[46:31] in the movie

[46:32] Inchon which

[46:33] was a movie that

[46:34] was funded by the

[46:35] recently departed

[46:35] Reverend Sung

[46:36] Yung Moon and

[46:38] he demanded that

[46:39] they pay him in

[46:40] briefcases of cash

[46:41] because he didn't

[46:42] trust them to back

[46:43] any of the checks

[46:44] that they had

[46:45] promised him

[46:45] you'll do

[46:46] if you're a

[46:48] British actor you

[46:48] do any job for

[46:49] the money it's

[46:49] just the way it

[46:50] is because you're

[46:50] a professional

Dan McCoy

[46:51] so I guess what

[46:52] Ellie is saying

[46:53] is the most

[46:54] whorish British

[46:55] actor with

[46:56] knighthood

Elliott Kalan

[46:56] all of them

[46:57] all of them

[46:58] and that's the

[46:58] way it's supposed

[46:59] to be

[46:59] also there's no

[47:00] way that the

[47:01] Borgias is the

[47:01] trashiest show

[47:02] on Showtime

[47:03] I'm sorry

Stuart Wellington

[47:03] and Sam Neill

[47:04] was great in my

[47:05] third favorite

[47:05] John Carpenter

[47:06] movie of all

[47:07] time

[47:08] that's only your

[47:09] memoirs of an

[47:10] invisible man

[47:11] what

[47:12] I oughta

[47:13] maybe a

[47:14] spin-a-rooney

[47:14] on that one

[47:15] well he's also

[47:16] great in

[47:16] that would be

[47:17] less than my

Elliott Kalan

[47:18] also great in

[47:19] my favorite

[47:20] John Carpenter

[47:21] movie in the

[47:21] mouth of madness

[47:22] although it's

[47:22] kind of tied

[47:23] with the thing

[47:23] but everyone's

[47:24] favorite is the

[47:25] thing

[47:25] the thing

[47:26] they live

[47:27] and Big Trouble

[47:27] in Little China

[47:28] all superior

[47:29] Big Trouble in

[47:29] Little China

[47:30] In the Mouth of

[47:31] Madness is way

[47:31] better than that

[47:32] finest adaptation of

[47:35] H.P. Lovecraft's

[47:35] themes to film

[47:37] Big Trouble in

[47:37] Little China

[47:38] No in the Mouth of

[47:39] Madness

[47:39] This is titled

Dan McCoy

[47:42] Hey Grillhouse Gang

[47:44] I think he has

[47:45] the wrong podcast

[47:46] I think he's

Elliott Kalan

[47:47] looking for the

Dan McCoy

[47:47] grilled cheese podcast

[47:48] Just a quick

[47:49] question as the

[47:50] summer winds down

[47:51] if each of you

[47:52] had your own

[47:53] signature barbecue

[47:54] sauce

[47:54] what would you

[47:56] name it

[47:56] i.e.

[47:58] the Grillhouse

[47:59] Housecat Sweet

[48:00] and Sassy

[48:00] Molassi

[48:01] Barbecue Sauce

[48:02] Well that's a

[48:02] great name

[48:03] Keep up the

[48:03] great work

[48:04] and dry rubs

[48:04] can go fuck

[48:05] themselves

[48:05] Brian

[48:06] the rapidly

[48:07] closing in on

[48:09] middle-aged

[48:09] Canadian barbecue

[48:10] kid Skinner

[48:11] Well

[48:12] Brian

[48:13] Oh man

[48:14] I don't like

[48:14] your controversial

[48:15] position on dry

[48:16] rubs

[48:16] I feel like

[48:17] this is a

Elliott Kalan

[48:17] question for

[48:18] Dan

[48:18] Of all the

Stuart Wellington

[48:20] floppers I think

[48:21] Dan spends the

[48:22] most time cooking

[48:22] Yeah

[48:23] Like that one

[48:24] party he showed

[48:25] up and he

[48:25] brought boy

[48:26] bait for all of

[48:27] us to eat

[48:27] Boy bait?

[48:28] Yeah it was

[48:29] called boy bait

[48:29] It's called

[48:30] blueberry boy bait

[48:31] Blueberry boy

[48:32] bait

[48:32] So it's bait

[48:34] that you use to

[48:34] bait a boy

Elliott Kalan

[48:35] Okay

[48:37] You gotta bait

[48:37] that boy if you

[48:38] want to marry him

[48:38] Yeah it's still

[48:40] creepy

[48:40] It's also known as

Stuart Wellington

[48:41] husband bait in

[48:42] certain

[48:42] So what were

[48:43] your sauce be Dan?

Elliott Kalan

[48:46] Look if that

[48:47] bait's not gonna

[48:48] help me find

[48:49] old Scratchy

[48:49] the biggest

[48:50] catfish in

[48:51] Skull Lake

[48:52] then I am not

[48:52] interested

[48:53] How about

[48:54] I've been

[48:54] trying to get

[48:56] Scratchy for

[48:57] years now

[48:58] and he keeps

[48:58] on a-missin'

[49:01] I'll catch him

[49:02] I'll catch him

[49:03] alright

Stuart Wellington

[49:03] What's your

[49:04] flavor?

[49:04] It would be

Elliott Kalan

[49:05] probably salty

[49:06] I've come to

[49:06] love that fish

[49:07] in a way I

[49:07] can't love

[49:08] another human

[49:08] being

[49:08] Anyway

[49:09] what would

[49:10] your sauce be?

[49:11] Molasses

Stuart Wellington

[49:12] cancer

[49:13] sauce

[49:14] Oh no

[49:15] see you

[49:15] tied it in

[49:16] with the movie

[49:16] we watched

[49:17] Too soon

[49:18] It's a tough one

[49:20] yours would be

[49:21] salty and probably

[49:23] really vinegary

[49:24] So it's a Carolina

[49:26] sauce

[49:27] Yeah definitely

Dan McCoy

[49:27] Is there a sauce

[49:28] that causes depression?

Stuart Wellington

[49:30] Elliot's would be

[49:30] super sweet

[49:31] and delicious

[49:32] and everybody

[49:32] wants it all the time

[49:33] Thank you

[49:34] But it's

[49:35] it's just

[49:35] sometimes too

[49:36] knowledgeable

[49:36] for its own

[49:37] good

[49:37] Yeah

[49:38] It's a little

[49:38] It's a pedantic sauce

[49:40] I think that the metaphor is falling apart

[49:41] at this point

Elliott Kalan

[49:41] And also when you eat it

[49:42] you get a phone call

[49:43] that tells you you have a week

[49:44] left to live

[49:44] Until a ghost girl

[49:46] comes from the TV

[49:47] Stuart

[49:49] that leaves you

[49:50] It's gonna have

[49:51] some kind of drink in it

[49:52] Yeah

[49:52] Coors Light based

[49:53] barbecue sauce

Stuart Wellington

[49:54] It's a Coors Light based

[49:55] barbecue sauce

[49:56] It tastes like Castle Freak

[49:58] Penises

[50:00] Ding Dongs

Elliott Kalan

[50:00] It tastes so good

[50:01] it makes you rip off

Dan McCoy

[50:02] your own ding dong

[50:02] Maybe your sauce

[50:04] is more of like

[50:06] a blue cheese dressing

[50:07] because you pour it over

[50:08] something that's

[50:08] shredded like lettuce

Stuart Wellington

[50:09] Yeah oh nice

[50:10] Nice there you go

[50:11] You just pour that

[50:13] blue cheese sauce

[50:14] all over your food

[50:15] Let's just keep moving on

[50:16] shall we?

Dan McCoy

[50:19] This letter's titled

[50:21] Newsies

[50:22] I like it already

[50:23] Newsies

[50:24] Like it already

[50:24] Santa Fe

[50:27] One complaint

[50:28] and guys

[50:29] this is a deep cut

[50:30] Back in 2010

[50:31] in the podcast

[50:32] about surrogates

[50:33] That is a deep cut

[50:34] I forgot we did that movie

[50:35] Stuart announces proudly

[50:37] that he is a newsie

[50:37] and then Dan and Elliot

[50:38] imply that he must be

[50:40] an orphan who lives

[50:40] on the street

[50:41] because as Elliot says

[50:42] what parent lets their kid

[50:44] be a newsie

[50:45] if they have a home

[50:46] Not only is this

[50:47] historically inaccurate

[50:49] I know that they're

Elliott Kalan

[50:49] newsies with a home

[50:50] and a family

[50:51] It's not even in line

Dan McCoy

[50:52] with the canon

[50:52] of the groundbreaking

[50:53] Disney film

[50:54] and Broadway musical

[50:55] In the film

[50:56] Jack Cowboy Kelly

[50:57] refriends David

[50:58] and Les Jacobs

[50:59] brothers who become

[51:00] newsies when their

Stuart Wellington

[51:01] father is forced out

[51:02] of work due to

[51:03] his broken arm

[51:03] And he eats at their

[51:04] house

Dan McCoy

[51:04] After a long day

[51:05] of selling papers

[51:06] David and Les

[51:07] bring Jack home

[51:08] for dinner with

[51:08] their family

[51:09] where Jack learns

[51:10] for the first time

[51:11] what a family is

[51:12] as evidenced in

[51:12] the song

[51:13] Santa Fe

[51:14] So this is what

[51:15] they call

[51:15] Santa Fe

[51:16] A family

[51:17] Here I am

[51:18] Mother daughter

Elliott Kalan

[51:18] father son

[51:19] But you're all

[51:20] the way

[51:21] in Santa Fe

[51:22] Get a map

[51:23] Take a look

Dan McCoy

[51:24] Over there

[51:26] where it's located

[51:27] Although Jack Kelly

[51:29] clearly had no idea

[51:30] what a family was

[51:30] Educational standards

[51:31] were not great

[51:32] in 1899

[51:33] Not all newsies

[51:34] were orphans

[51:35] who lived in

[51:36] newsboys lodging

[51:36] houses

[51:37] Even the boys

[51:38] who did live

[51:38] in the lodging

[51:39] houses were not

[51:40] abandoned orphans

[51:40] as Dan says

[51:41] As shown in

[51:42] Patrick's mother's

[51:43] verse in the song

[51:44] Carrying the Banner

[51:45] Patrick darling

[51:46] Since you left me

[51:47] I am undone

[51:48] Mother loves you

[51:49] God save my son

Elliott Kalan

[51:51] Mother

[51:51] Love you

Dan McCoy

[51:53] I know I'm not

[51:55] related to any of you

[51:56] probably

[51:56] That's the most

Elliott Kalan

[51:56] touching part of the movie

[51:57] as far as I'm concerned

[51:58] is the mother's part of that

[51:59] It comes after the nuns

[52:01] give the bread out

[52:01] to the kids

Dan McCoy

[52:02] She says

[52:03] I know I'm not

[52:04] related to any of you

[52:05] probably

[52:05] but if Elliot's brother

[52:06] can write in

[52:07] correcting stupid sports

[52:08] trivia that no one

[52:09] really cares about

[52:09] He can't though

[52:09] He can't do that

[52:11] I can too

[52:11] In fact I can do one better

[52:13] anytime you need to

[52:14] fact check your

[52:15] Newsies references

[52:15] You can take a break

[52:17] from recording the podcast

[52:18] and send me an email

[52:19] I will respond

[52:20] within three to five

[52:21] business days

[52:21] Too long

Elliott Kalan

[52:22] Way too long

Dan McCoy

[52:23] Cures and flops

[52:24] Sarah last name with help

[52:26] Well we appreciate

Elliott Kalan

[52:27] your fact checking Newsies

[52:29] and I hope

[52:29] that we can turn to you

[52:30] whenever we have any questions

[52:31] in the Kenny Ortega canon

[52:33] Now Elliot

Dan McCoy

[52:33] you saw Newsies

[52:34] before it was on Broadway

[52:36] You saw it on previews

[52:37] I saw it

Elliott Kalan

[52:37] Well the reason I saw Newsies

[52:38] before it was on Broadway

[52:39] Yeah you saw it when it was a movie

[52:40] I also saw it in the theaters

[52:42] as a movie

[52:43] Yes as a kid

[52:44] But Newsies

[52:45] the hit Broadway musical

[52:47] actually started its run

[52:48] at the Paper Mill Playhouse

[52:49] in Milburn, New Jersey

[52:51] my hometown

[52:51] one of the finest regional theaters

[52:53] in the eastern seaboard

[52:54] So of course

[52:55] I took my wife

[52:56] who's a big Newsies fan

[52:57] to go see it

[52:58] and it was actually

[53:00] kind of nice

[53:02] partly because

[53:02] this is my hometown

[53:03] I was able to take her

[53:04] to a place

[53:04] we hadn't been to in it before

[53:05] but her grandparents

[53:07] went on a date

[53:09] to that same theater

[53:10] in the 1940s

[53:11] they took the train out

[53:12] from New York

[53:12] to Milburn

[53:13] went to the theater

[53:14] saw a show

[53:14] eventually got married

[53:15] and had kids

[53:17] who had kids

[53:18] It was all meant to be

[53:19] Yeah

Stuart Wellington

[53:19] And people say

[53:21] that you're

[53:21] kind of robotic

[53:22] and don't understand love

[53:24] but look at this dude

[53:25] Look at that

[53:25] I understand romance

[53:27] slightly

Elliott Kalan

[53:27] what you humans

[53:28] call romance

[53:29] But uh

[53:30] yeah

[53:31] and Paper Mill Playhouse

[53:32] I think Anne Hathaway

[53:34] performed there

[53:35] at some point

[53:35] Oh your ex-girlfriend

[53:36] Your buddy

Stuart Wellington

[53:36] Yes ex-wife

[53:38] Whoa

Dan McCoy

[53:38] No we don't know each other

[53:40] And uh

[53:41] so the last

[53:42] the last letter of the evening

[53:45] from Keith

[53:46] last name held forth

[53:47] Hannaford

[53:48] It's titled

[53:49] Science Fiction Trivia

[53:50] Hmm

[53:51] This letter says

[53:53] What does a space bull

[53:57] do in a space rodeo?

[53:59] Space bucks

Elliott Kalan

[54:00] That was not trivia

[54:02] First off

[54:03] not trivia

[54:04] so

[54:04] I was ready to answer

[54:05] a question about

[54:06] the day the earth

[54:07] stood still

[54:07] or childhood's end

[54:09] and then we get

[54:10] that joke from what

[54:11] 101 space jokes

[54:12] for kids

[54:13] It took a lot of effort

Stuart Wellington

[54:16] dude

[54:16] It took a lot of effort

[54:17] to copy that down

[54:19] with one hand

[54:20] onto the

[54:20] while he was typing

[54:21] You're a great joke

[54:22] and you can

[54:23] hold open the book

[54:24] with one hand

Elliott Kalan

[54:25] and punch it

[54:25] into his iPhone

[54:26] and the other

[54:27] No you're right

[54:27] that was a fantastic joke

Stuart Wellington

[54:28] Fantastic space bucks joke

[54:30] Space bucks

[54:31] Space joke

[54:31] So

[54:32] What do we do now?

[54:34] We fucking wrap this thing up

[54:35] or something?

[54:36] No no no

[54:36] We recommend things

[54:37] Recommendations

Dan McCoy

[54:37] This is the part of the podcast

[54:39] where we recommend a movie

[54:40] perhaps that we've seen recently

[54:42] perhaps not

[54:43] that we actually liked

[54:45] in contrast

[54:46] to the nonsense

[54:47] we review on this podcast

[54:49] So Stuart

[54:51] is there a movie

[54:51] that you would like

[54:52] to recommend

[54:53] to our listeners?

[54:54] Yeah

[54:54] I got a quick

[54:55] recommendation here

Stuart Wellington

[54:56] I just watched

[54:58] a little Danish movie

[55:00] called Pusher

[55:01] We have some Danish fans

[55:03] out there

[55:04] Hey guys

[55:04] you guys came into my bar

[55:06] one night

[55:06] and we had beers

[55:06] so Pusher

[55:09] is the first movie

[55:10] by Danish director

[55:11] Nicholas Wendy Refn

[55:13] I guess that's how you pronounce it

[55:14] Better known here for Drive

[55:16] and it's

[55:16] yeah

[55:17] and previous

[55:18] Stuart recommendation

[55:19] Valhalla Rising

[55:20] He also made Bronson

[55:22] Yeah and he also made Bronson

[55:23] and

[55:23] Do you ever want to see

Elliott Kalan

[55:25] Thomas Hardy

[55:26] It's a story

Dan McCoy

[55:27] Tom Hardy

[55:28] oiled up

[55:29] and giant

[55:30] Totally nude

Elliott Kalan

[55:30] It is a fan

[55:31] That's a great scene though

[55:32] Yeah it's amazing

[55:33] Where he's nude

[55:33] and he makes the jailer

[55:34] he's kidnapped

[55:35] The crazy wax mustache

[55:36] Oil him up so that he

[55:37] can slip out of the guard's grips

[55:38] better

Stuart Wellington

[55:39] So Pusher is the story

[55:41] of a low level

[55:43] drug dealer

[55:44] A pusher if you will

[55:45] Who gets in over his head

[55:46] and

[55:47] finds himself

[55:49] in debt

[55:49] to some dangerous men

[55:50] and has to make that money back

[55:52] and

[55:53] specifically

[55:53] it features

[55:54] one of

[55:55] a Flophouse fave

[55:56] Mad About Mads

[55:57] Mads Mikkelsen

[55:58] in a great role

[56:01] featuring a head tattoo

[56:02] so

[56:04] I hope you guys at home

Elliott Kalan

[56:05] are as mad about Mads

[56:06] as I am

[56:07] as we are

Stuart Wellington

[56:08] as America's gonna be

[56:09] when his new

[56:10] Hannibal Lecter show

[56:10] comes out

[56:11] and when the Thor movie

[56:12] comes out

[56:12] he's the villain in it

[56:13] he's all over the place

[56:15] it's gonna be

[56:16] Mads Madness

[56:16] yeah that was mine

Dan McCoy

[56:20] well I will say

[56:21] As Happens occasionally

[56:23] I was on a plane

[56:24] recently

[56:24] As Happens

[56:25] yeah

[56:25] As Happens

Elliott Kalan

[56:26] all your recommendations

[56:26] for like six months now

[56:28] have been plane movies

[56:29] I'm sorry

[56:29] I'm a glove trotter

[56:32] it's the only environment

[56:32] he likes to watch a movie

[56:33] I'm starting to think

[56:34] that you get plane tickets

[56:35] to see movies

[56:36] if you can see

[56:37] think of a better way

[56:39] to watch movies

[56:39] I'd like to hear

[56:40] have you guys noticed

[56:41] that the price of movie tickets

[56:42] have gone way up

[56:42] they're anywhere from

[56:43] three hundred to a thousand dollars

[56:45] and the screens

Dan McCoy

[56:45] have gotten smaller

[56:46] so I saw a movie

[56:48] though that I would

[56:49] recommend

[56:50] even if I was not

[56:51] on a plane

[56:52] I know that the joke

[56:53] has been

[56:54] that I recommend

[56:55] plane movies

[56:55] to watch on a plane

[56:57] not the joke

[56:58] the truth

[56:58] actual events

[57:00] it's not that funny

[57:01] I saw

[57:04] on the way back

[57:05] from LA recently

[57:06] the five year engagement

[57:08] starring Jason Segel

[57:11] and Emily Blunt

[57:12] and I enjoyed it thoroughly

[57:14] like this is

[57:15] this has been

[57:15] this was a flop

[57:17] in the

[57:18] sort of

[57:19] the recent

[57:21] group of

[57:22] Judd Apatow

[57:23] in terms of money

[57:24] it was a flop

[57:25] but yeah

[57:26] but it was

[57:26] critically well received

[57:28] and I think

[57:30] that Jason Segel

[57:31] sort of quietly

[57:32] became the most talented

[57:33] member of that group

[57:35] like in terms of

[57:35] what he's written

[57:36] there's a lot of sweetness

[57:38] in what he writes

[57:39] and

[57:40] he steers away

[57:42] from the problem

[57:43] that I know you have

[57:44] with a lot of the

[57:44] Judd Apatow movies

[57:45] which is

[57:45] the characters

[57:46] are unmotivated

[57:48] so you're like

[57:48] why should I care

[57:49] about these guys

[57:49] yeah they're lazy

[57:50] slackers who are

[57:51] unlikable

[57:51] whereas

[57:52] five year engagement

[57:53] is about two

[57:54] likable

[57:55] motivated people

[57:56] who have their

[57:58] likable love story

[58:00] slowly ruined

[58:01] by circumstances

[58:02] that are mostly

[58:03] external to them

[58:04] but and need to

[58:06] figure out a way

[58:07] to combat that

[58:09] and it's a good

[58:10] romantic comedy

[58:11] about real life

[58:13] I feel like

[58:13] adult concerns

[58:14] and it has a strong

[58:15] supporting cast

[58:17] it's got

[58:17] Risi Phan is in it

[58:20] it's got

[58:21] Brian Pussain

[58:24] Mindy Kaling

[58:25] Chris Parnell

Elliott Kalan

[58:26] is Stanley the dog

[58:28] in it?

[58:28] What about Dr. Orangutan?

[58:29] Dr. Orangutan

[58:30] is not

[58:30] I want to mention

[58:31] by the way

[58:31] we know that

[58:32] they're called

[58:32] orangutans

[58:33] his name

[58:34] as Stuart

[58:34] corrected me

[58:35] earlier tonight

[58:36] is Dr. Orangutan

[58:37] So David

Stuart Wellington

[58:37] stop typing that email

Elliott Kalan

[58:39] do not type in an email

[58:40] don't explain to us

[58:41] how orangutans

[58:42] and the giants

[58:43] are related in some way

[58:44] but yeah

[58:45] that's my

[58:46] that's my recommendation

[58:47] so the five year engagement

[58:48] part of me now

[58:50] wants to officially

[58:51] recommend Possession

[58:52] just because it's a

[58:53] if you're interested

[58:54] in a crazy movie

[58:55] go see Possession

[58:55] I am

[58:56] you should see it

[58:57] it is about a woman

[58:58] who leaves her husband

[58:59] and her lover

[58:59] for a tentacle monster

[59:01] but anyway

[59:03] but that's not the movie

[59:04] I came in tonight

[59:05] meaning to recommend

[59:06] is that the movie

Dan McCoy

[59:07] this is gonna

[59:08] mark me as

[59:09] Purvzoi number one

[59:10] is that the movie

[59:10] with Kate Beckinsale's

[59:12] one nude scene too

[59:13] is that the

[59:13] no she's not in that

Elliott Kalan

[59:14] that's a different movie

[59:15] with the same title

[59:16] I guess

[59:17] Mr. Skin

[59:17] Harold Skin

[59:20] sure

[59:21] the movie I wanted to

[59:22] recommend is one

[59:23] I actually just saw

[59:23] this weekend

[59:24] for the first time

[59:25] although I've been

[59:25] wanting to see it

[59:26] for a while

[59:26] which is a movie

[59:28] called Culloden

[59:28] it's by Peter Watkin

[59:30] who you may know

[59:31] as the director

[59:32] of the movie

[59:32] The War Game

[59:33] which was a British

[59:34] documentary from

[59:35] the mid-60s

[59:36] about what would

[59:37] happen to England

[59:38] if a nuclear war

[59:39] took place

[59:40] so not the one

[59:41] about Joshua

[59:42] and Whopper

[59:42] no not about

[59:43] not war games

[59:44] but the war game

[59:45] this is an earlier

[59:47] documentary of his

[59:48] from a couple years

[59:48] earlier

[59:49] but it uses a similar

[59:50] style

[59:50] it's about the

[59:51] Battle of Culloden

[59:52] between the English

[59:54] army and the

[59:55] Highland clans

[59:56] in Scotland

[59:56] this is the battle

[59:57] that ended

[59:58] the attempt

[59:59] by the pretender

[1:00:00] of the throne

[1:00:00] Bonnie Prince Charlie

[1:00:01] to retake Scotland

[1:00:03] for his family

[1:00:04] it is the battle

[1:00:05] that the movie

[1:00:06] credits was basically

[1:00:06] destroying the clan

[1:00:07] culture of Highland

[1:00:08] Scotland

[1:00:09] which is a very

[1:00:10] strange culture

[1:00:11] that is a lot

[1:00:12] more different

[1:00:12] from what we're

[1:00:13] used to

[1:00:13] than you'd think

[1:00:14] because you think

[1:00:15] Scotland is just

[1:00:15] being you know

[1:00:16] a regular little

[1:00:16] place

[1:00:17] but it's

[1:00:18] shot in

[1:00:19] a documentary

[1:00:20] style

[1:00:21] as if

[1:00:21] there was

[1:00:22] a documentary

[1:00:22] team on the

[1:00:23] scene

[1:00:24] covering this

[1:00:25] battle

[1:00:25] interviewing the

[1:00:26] people involved

[1:00:26] in it

[1:00:27] and it sounds

[1:00:27] like it could

[1:00:28] be very hokey

[1:00:29] but they do

[1:00:29] a fantastic

[1:00:30] job with it

[1:00:30] and it comes

[1:00:31] off really

[1:00:32] bringing the

[1:00:32] battle to life

[1:00:33] and bringing

[1:00:33] these people

[1:00:34] to life

[1:00:34] and kind

[1:00:35] of the

[1:00:35] ordinary folks

[1:00:36] who fought

[1:00:37] in it

[1:00:37] and how

[1:00:38] their lives

[1:00:38] changed as a

[1:00:39] result

[1:00:39] so it's

[1:00:40] really good

[1:00:41] sounds kind

[1:00:42] like the

[1:00:42] office

[1:00:42] it's a

[1:00:44] like a

[1:00:44] non-funny

[1:00:45] historically

[1:00:45] accurate

[1:00:46] brutally

[1:00:47] bleak

[1:00:47] version

[1:00:47] of the

[1:00:48] office

[1:00:48] called

[1:00:49] come on in

Dan McCoy

[1:00:50] so three

[1:00:51] recommendations

[1:00:51] down

[1:00:52] three solid

[1:00:53] recommendations

[1:00:53] so uh

[1:00:55] i guess

[1:00:56] that all

[1:00:57] that's left

[1:00:57] is to say

[1:00:58] goodnight

[1:00:58] to our

[1:00:59] friends

[1:00:59] tuck them

[1:01:00] into bed

[1:01:00] podcast

[1:01:02] just read

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:04] them a story

[1:01:04] called a little

Dan McCoy

[1:01:05] bit of heaven

[1:01:06] the candle

[1:01:07] next to their

[1:01:08] bed has burned

[1:01:09] down to

[1:01:09] butt a nub

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:10] butt a nub

[1:01:12] yep

[1:01:13] and the moon

[1:01:14] is clearly

[1:01:14] shining through

[1:01:15] the window

[1:01:16] a slight

[1:01:16] breeze

[1:01:17] blows the

[1:01:18] curtains

[1:01:18] and across

[1:01:19] the moors

[1:01:20] we can hear

[1:01:20] the howling

[1:01:21] of the wolf

[1:01:21] a mouse

[1:01:22] peeks his head

[1:01:23] out of a hole

[1:01:24] also holding a tiny

[1:01:25] candle holder

[1:01:25] and wearing a

[1:01:27] nightcap

[1:01:28] he adjusts his

[1:01:29] tiny glasses

[1:01:30] then takes them

[1:01:31] off sets them

[1:01:32] besides the

[1:01:32] matchbox

[1:01:33] which is his bed

[1:01:33] lies in

[1:01:35] and pulls the

[1:01:36] covers tight

[1:01:37] around him

[1:01:37] for he too

[1:01:38] hears the

[1:01:38] howling

[1:01:39] of the wolf

[1:01:39] out of a

[1:01:39] discarded

[1:01:40] handkerchief

[1:01:40] yeah

[1:01:41] it's a

[1:01:42] discarded

[1:01:42] handkerchief

[1:01:43] and we

[1:01:44] creep back

[1:01:44] to our

[1:01:45] room

[1:01:45] blowing you

[1:01:46] a kiss

[1:01:46] from the

[1:01:46] door

[1:01:47] the stage

[1:01:48] is dim

[1:01:48] where are

[1:01:49] the players

[1:01:50] and drop

[1:01:51] to our

[1:01:51] knees

[1:01:51] next to

[1:01:52] the bed

[1:01:52] and pray

[1:01:52] to god

[1:01:53] to keep

[1:01:54] these blessings

[1:01:54] safe

[1:01:55] from the

[1:01:55] wolf

[1:01:56] outside our

[1:01:56] door

[1:01:57] across the

[1:01:57] moors

[1:01:58] good night

[1:01:59] everyone

[1:02:00] good night

[1:02:01] damn that's

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:09] a frothy

[1:02:09] looking beer

[1:02:10] you got

[1:02:10] there buddy

[1:02:10] yeah who

[1:02:12] poured that

[1:02:12] this guy

[1:02:13] not the guy

[1:02:14] in the movie

[1:02:14] that guy

[1:02:15] poured all

[1:02:15] head

[1:02:16] yeah terrible

[1:02:16] like head

[1:02:17] of the family

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:17] or head

[1:02:18] of the class

[1:02:19] yeah I guess

[1:02:19] there was a lot

[1:02:20] of head

[1:02:20] in head

[1:02:20] of the class

[1:02:21] yeah well

[1:02:21] every episode

[1:02:22] had at least

[1:02:23] one character

[1:02:23] give head

[1:02:23] to another

[1:02:24] character

[1:02:24] I didn't

[1:02:25] know that

[1:02:25] yeah that's

[1:02:25] why it was

[1:02:26] it was

[1:02:26] canceled after

[1:02:27] one episode

[1:02:28] and replaced

[1:02:28] with a show

[1:02:29] about a classroom

[1:02:30] I thought it

[1:02:30] was mainly

[1:02:31] just art

[1:02:31] yeah just

[1:02:32] mainly

[1:02:32] art and giving

[1:02:33] people head

[1:02:33] that was the

[1:02:34] reboot

[1:02:34] art and

[1:02:36] there's a

[1:02:38] very letterman

[1:02:39] moment just

[1:02:40] repeating the

[1:02:40] name art and

[1:02:41] art and

[1:02:42] art and

[1:02:44] art and

The Flop House: Episode #111 - A Little Bit of Heaven

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