The Flop House: Episode #118 - Total Recall

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss the remake of Total Recall, a film that everyone grudgingly acknowledged was a thing that existed.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:36] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:37] You're not even letting him finish?

[0:40] You said you wanted to finish early.

[0:42] That's true.

[0:43] Let's speed up.

[0:43] Okay, mailbag.

[0:45] Let's read some letters.

[0:46] Recommendations.

[0:47] Let's go.

[0:47] So you were Dan McCoy.

[0:49] Yeah.

[0:50] I'm Stuart Wellington, of course.

[0:51] Who does that leave me?

[0:52] I believe it leaves me as Elliot Kalin.

[0:54] And this is the Flophouse.

[0:55] Yeah, first Flophouse of 2013.

[0:58] Off to a crackin' start.

[1:00] The Mayans were wrong, God.

[1:01] Oh, God, I meant guys.

[1:03] The Mayans were wrong, guys.

[1:05] They proxied the end of the Flophouse in December 2012.

[1:08] But that was just their Flophouse calendar coming to a natural end.

[1:12] Turns out the Flophouse continues in 2013.

[1:15] Take that, Mayans, you jerks.

[1:17] 2012 was slashed to death by Jason Voorhees.

[1:21] Turns out maybe the Mayans just thought,

[1:25] hey, you know what?

[1:26] Our calendar covers a couple millennia.

[1:28] We can stop here.

[1:28] We'll make the next calendar sometime in the next 600 years.

[1:32] I'm sure no one will assume that this means that the world is coming to an end.

[1:35] And we will also not be completely wiped out by conquistadors in this time.

[1:39] Definitely not.

[1:40] Alien conquistadors?

[1:41] No, just regular conquistadors.

[1:43] I mean, they're kind of like aliens to them, though, right?

[1:45] With their advanced technology and animals, yeah.

[1:47] Okay, so speaking of advanced technology.

[1:50] It's like what Arthur C. Clarke said about magic.

[1:51] It is exactly what Arthur C. Clarke said about magic.

[1:54] Anyway, so what did we watch?

[1:57] Talking about magic, technology, excitement, we watched Total Recall.

[2:02] We watched a little movie called Recall Total, as you would say, if you were a conquistador.

[2:09] 2012.

[2:09] The new version of Total Recall, not the beloved old Paul Verhoeven version where Arnold Schwarzenegger shoots a million people.

[2:17] But the new version with Colin Farrell where a million people get killed, but many of them are killed by robots.

[2:24] Do we have to preface this review with the statement that we all love Total Recall, the original?

[2:29] Do we love it?

[2:31] I mean, I do.

[2:32] It's a movie I have a mixed relationship with.

[2:35] I enjoy it, but I don't love it the same way I love certain other things, like RoboCop.

[2:41] But I like it more than, say, Big Trouble in Little China, which other people love but I don't care for.

[2:47] I love Big Trouble in Little China more than Total Recall.

[2:49] But I love Total Recall more than most stupid action films.

[2:54] It still has a bit of that Paul Verhoeven flavor, but it's not like Starship Troopers or Robocop, which I love.

[2:59] Well, the thing about Total Recall is it is a bad movie, the original.

[3:01] Okay.

[3:02] It's really fun.

[3:03] There's a lot of memorable stuff in it.

[3:05] Spoiler alert?

[3:05] Spoiler alert.

[3:07] You will have fun.

[3:08] But there are a lot of people now who are like, no, it's a really good, like, funny movie.

[3:12] And I think at this point I can tell the difference between a movie that's goofy on purpose and a movie where there's some jokes in it,

[3:19] But, like, it's not a satire in the same way that Paul Verhoeven's other science fiction movies are.

[3:24] Yeah, it's not a satire to that degree.

[3:27] But, I mean, it is still a Paul Verhoeven movie.

[3:29] It is.

[3:29] The goofiness is intentional.

[3:31] But I don't always know that.

[3:32] No matter how crappy it is.

[3:33] It is a super goofball crap fest at times.

[3:35] But it's still enjoyable.

[3:36] Well, I mean, what's goofy about Schwarzenegger's eyes bugging out like Roger Rabbit at the end?

[3:41] Then he's totally fine after the air comes.

[3:44] The part when there's a lot of things there.

[3:47] I think that was in the novel, right?

[3:49] there's a lot of things that i think are supposed to be cool or scary but they're goofy

[3:53] like quado for instance that was both cool and scary okay but anyway but that's the old

[3:59] which i think we can all admit we enjoy yeah it has a place in our hearts okay stewart loves it

[4:04] i fucking love that i like it and dan hates it no wait hold on i like it i watch recall multiple

[4:12] times every year i think i think i've seen that movie multiple times every christmas every year

[4:17] Yeah, gather the fucking Wellington family around the Yule log.

[4:22] He watches it every night of Hanukkah.

[4:24] Yeah, of course.

[4:24] Like it says in the Talmud.

[4:25] And you notice something different each time.

[4:27] You don't.

[4:28] That's the thing about Total Recall.

[4:29] There's no layers to it.

[4:31] There's tons of layers.

[4:32] New Total Recall.

[4:34] You watch new Total Recall, though.

[4:35] Yeah, Total Recall 2, electric Total Recall-a-loo.

[4:38] Okay.

[4:39] But it wasn't a sequel, right?

[4:41] It was not a sequel, but here's the thing about it.

[4:43] It was a remake.

[4:44] It's just an out-and-out remake.

[4:45] What's the story?

[4:47] Should we talk about like the differences or talk about the story first?

[4:49] I think let's talk about the story first.

[4:50] But the thing I'll mention is there are a lot of moments in the movie that really only work as references to the original movie.

[4:57] And they're a little too glaring for me.

[5:00] And we'll get into that later.

[5:01] But it's what I would like to call the Prometheus effect.

[5:04] Bum, bum, bum.

[5:05] TM.

[5:06] TM.

[5:07] Copyright.

[5:07] Rights reserved.

[5:08] All rights intended.

[5:09] Throughout the universe.

[5:11] So Ridley Scott, start paying it forward, right?

[5:13] Any form of technology created.

[5:14] Now or in the future.

[5:16] Yeah, Ridley Scott, start paying it forward.

[5:17] Yeah, Ridley Scott, start contributing to charities.

[5:19] That's what I mean.

[5:21] I think you should explain the Prometheus effect.

[5:23] You just left that out there.

[5:25] Well, we could get to it.

[5:26] You just made a bunch of sound effects and we laughed about it.

[5:28] And then you dropped it.

[5:29] Good point.

[5:29] I mean, that's cool.

[5:30] To me, the Prometheus effect is a movie that is a remake of a previous movie where scenes in it work more because they reference scenes in the earlier version of the movie than because they work on their own.

[5:43] Like in Prometheus, this is something that I've talked about on the FlyBuzz Facebook page for all those people who aren't members of our Facebook group, where it's – there were scenes in the movie that I enjoyed and I was never sure, do I enjoy this because it's genuinely a good scene or because it reminds me so much of this scene in Alien when it was done better?

[5:59] And Total Recall is not good enough for me to worry about that conflict, but there are moments in it like – that should be like in-joke references to the previous version if you want to do that.

[6:10] But there are scenes that play off of stuff in the first movie more than they actually seem to have a reason to exist in this movie.

[6:17] Let's make it clear, too, that you're right, Elliot.

[6:19] This is definitely like an out-and-out remake because it is not like, say, Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which went back to the original book, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and included things that say—

[6:34] A lot more Johnny Duck, basically.

[6:35] Well, no, but it did include things that actually exist in the book that Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory did not have.

[6:40] Whereas this movie, like the original short story, we can remember it for you wholesale, is very different.

[6:46] By Philip K. Penis.

[6:47] Yes.

[6:47] It's very different from the original Total Recall.

[6:51] And this movie is much more like the movie than the short story.

[6:56] Or it's similar to how Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes was basically an out-and-out remake of Planet of the Apes.

[7:05] whereas Rise of the Planet of the Apes was kind of a new way to tell that story

[7:10] that had references to the older movies.

[7:11] Right.

[7:12] But you didn't need to know those references to even give a shit about those moments in the movie.

[7:17] Like, that was a more successful version of this, I think.

[7:19] Yeah.

[7:20] What we're saying is there is a three-breasted prostitute in this version.

[7:23] Oh, there's a three-breasted prostitute.

[7:24] There's a woman in a yellow coat who says she's going to be there for two weeks.

[7:28] Like, they basically, we kept waiting for the Johnny Cab moment when Johnny Cab would show up.

[7:34] Or they get your ass to Mars, all that stuff.

[7:36] Yeah, Quatto, he wasn't in there.

[7:38] Screw you, Benny, who knows?

[7:40] See you at the party.

[7:42] Yeah, there's none of that, or consider this a divorce.

[7:44] There's none of that.

[7:45] But Stewart kept waiting for consider this a divorce.

[7:48] I said it like a million times.

[7:50] So here's the plot.

[7:52] And it would be much more appropriate in this film

[7:54] where the Sharon Stone character from the earlier film,

[7:57] as you pointed out, was combined with a Michael Ironside character.

[8:02] Which is not a bad idea.

[8:03] beautiful. Like those two

[8:05] beings. If only they had

[8:07] the babe that would come

[8:09] from that union. Or the hunk.

[8:11] Come on. Imagine

[8:13] the offspring

[8:15] of Sharon Stone and Michael

[8:16] Ironside. If you dare.

[8:18] I just imagine that creature has

[8:21] delicious smelling breath.

[8:23] I imagine that castle freak

[8:27] is wonderful.

[8:28] It would still be a person.

[8:30] It's not like they would make a mutant.

[8:33] They're a man and a woman.

[8:34] They make a human baby.

[8:35] No, Sharon Stone is going to go into a transporter

[8:37] that has a little bit of Michael Ironside in it,

[8:40] and then when she gets on the other side...

[8:41] Oh, horrible.

[8:42] Oh, horrifying.

[8:43] But does she have just the head and arm of Michael Ironside,

[8:46] or is it in her DNA, and she's turning into an Ironside Stone?

[8:50] It's more of a cancer metaphor.

[8:51] More of a brundlefly thing.

[8:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ironstone, sure.

[8:54] Michelle Ironstone, we got it.

[8:57] Michelle?

[8:59] That's good, to make it female.

[9:02] Why does she not get to keep her own first name?

[9:05] Michonne Ironstone.

[9:06] We got a Michonne.

[9:07] That's a pretty good name.

[9:09] So that's the plot of Total Recall.

[9:12] So the new Total Recall, here's the basic story.

[9:15] Okay.

[9:15] We are in a world where most of the Earth has been poisoned by a war of some kind.

[9:20] Sounds right.

[9:21] You'd think it would be radiation, but no, it's like poison gas or something like that.

[9:24] And there's really only two countries left on Earth.

[9:27] The United British Federation in the U.K.

[9:30] because Great Britain is such a world power right now.

[9:34] They can't even make the case that it was far away enough from other countries that it existed.

[9:41] And maybe just, you know, they did rule the earth at one point.

[9:45] No, I understand.

[9:46] But right now, I mean, like, yeah, it would make more sense if you were doing your thing,

[9:50] where it's just like, okay, they were isolated enough.

[9:52] Like Greenland was suddenly a world power because it was spared or something.

[9:55] Because the other country is Australia, or as it's now known, the colony.

[10:00] But it's so – they never are really clear on is the colony a colony of the United British Federation?

[10:07] Are they two separate countries or is it – is one like a state, a client state of the other one?

[10:12] Is one – like who's the government?

[10:15] They never make it clear and this means that all the –

[10:18] Well, they do at the end, but then that seems to contradict the bad guy's evil plot.

[10:22] Well, that's the colony, but so the colony is where all the workers live.

[10:27] It's the poor place.

[10:29] And the United British Federation is where all the rich stuff is.

[10:31] And how do they get the workers from Australia all the way to England to commute to their daily jobs?

[10:37] How would they do that?

[10:37] With planes or boats or something?

[10:39] No, there's only one way to do it.

[10:40] You can't do it any other way but to have a tunnel through the earth with one elevator that holds like 60 people.

[10:47] I guess everybody.

[10:48] It holds like 60 people at a time.

[10:50] And it goes from Australia to Britain in like five minutes, six minutes.

[10:58] Yeah, it's like the demon drop at Cedar Point.

[11:01] It's like the Tower of Terror.

[11:04] It certainly doesn't seem longer than any subway ride.

[11:07] It seems much shorter than most subway rides.

[11:09] And now keeping in mind that you do get extra speed by going through the earth, I guess, because you hit all the power-ups.

[11:16] It's one of these things that's kind of a neat science fiction idea until you start thinking about it and you're like, wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense.

[11:26] It seems completely unnecessary.

[11:27] Why don't they just get a job in wherever the fuck they're at?

[11:30] Yeah, I mean, I guess it's faster to go through the center of the Earth

[11:35] until you start thinking about having to build that tunnel through the center of the Earth.

[11:39] It makes a lot more sense than having a colony on Mars, for instance.

[11:43] It does not make more sense than that.

[11:45] But if they have, like, center-of-the-Earth technology,

[11:48] it seems like they could build a fucking rocket jet that'll take you across the world.

[11:51] Well, it should. I mean, they have the technology to go through planets, not to go between planets.

[11:54] Or maybe even the technology to, I don't know, suck up all the fucking poison gas around the rest of the world.

[11:59] You would think that the trillions, if not quadrillions of dollars that were spent first boring a tunnel through the earth.

[12:05] Getting Bruce Willis and co. to drill a hole through the fucking planet.

[12:08] Exactly.

[12:09] Then building the elevator mechanism and then the maintenance of it because you've got –

[12:15] Oh, man.

[12:15] If that thing shuts down, like in the middle of the earth, people got to climb down there.

[12:21] Yeah, that's the only way you got to walk out.

[12:23] Can it have, like, really, like, shielded, like, ice suits or something?

[12:27] That's hundreds of miles, too.

[12:28] Okay, let's take this idea and run with it.

[12:31] Shielded ice suits, Dan.

[12:32] What's that look like?

[12:33] Like with giant ice crystals on it?

[12:35] Like ice pirates would wear?

[12:37] Yeah.

[12:37] It's like those, you know, like those glasses that have, like, water in the middle of them so you freeze.

[12:42] What are you talking about?

[12:43] They've got, like, two layers.

[12:44] There's, like, a layer of liquid inside so you freeze that.

[12:47] Either Dan is on the cutting edge of drinking technology or he is a madman.

[12:52] Check out Sharper Image over here.

[12:54] Check out SkyMall.

[12:55] Check out McCoy or Schlemmer over here.

[12:57] I'm not going to cut you guys in on my ice suit profits.

[13:01] So, yes, they could have put those resources towards depoisoning the rest of the world.

[13:05] Instead, they built the elevator that goes through the core of the earth.

[13:08] Here's the thing.

[13:09] We already live in a world where some countries are poorer than other countries.

[13:14] And workers come from the poor countries to the rich countries and, like, send money back.

[13:19] They don't commute every day.

[13:22] And the idea behind the movie is that...

[13:23] But what if they could, Elliot?

[13:24] I guess they would.

[13:25] Why not?

[13:26] Save them money and rent, I guess.

[13:28] But the whole idea is that there's so little livable space on the Earth

[13:32] that these are the only two places people can live,

[13:33] and they're running out of livable space.

[13:35] You can either live in weird Blade Runner land

[13:38] or weird Minority Report iRobot land.

[13:42] Yeah, Britain is basically Minority Report iRobot,

[13:45] and Australia is Blade Runner.

[13:46] Yeah.

[13:49] uh colin farrell our hero whose name is dougie he that's important that's he he is a worker in a

[13:56] in a police robot factory yeah that's the other thing they have making robo cops if you will they

[14:03] have both they're robot cops they have both human police and robot police because they couldn't

[14:09] decide which is which they're both which to go with they're both equally crappy in the world of

[14:14] this movie their armor does not protect them except when it needs to yeah except for when the

[14:19] movie needs it to and the robot police are just like people but robots to the point that i'm just

[14:25] going to give it away at the end of the movie colin farrell has a fist fight with a robot

[14:29] and the robot is doing like karate moves on him he could just grab his head and crush it which

[14:34] means he has karate programming and then colin farrell totally grip and totally fucking general

[14:40] grievous colin farrell with his fucking heart out with his bare hands rips off the robot's chest

[14:45] plate which seems like a screw malfunction at that point the problem is a tiny screw probably

[14:49] built it wrong yeah on purpose he knew it and then and then rips out the robot's heart okay so

[14:56] colin farrell has a dream where he's being kidnapped by some kind of police forces and

[15:01] jessica beal is with him and they get shot through the hand they're holding hands and a bullet goes

[15:07] through both hands at once he wakes up nope he's blood brothers he's married to kate beckinsale

[15:12] who looks almost identical

[15:13] to Jessica Biel

[15:14] in this movie

[15:14] that's terrible

[15:15] really good casting

[15:15] and he works at

[15:16] a robot cop factory

[15:17] sounds like he's got

[15:19] a pretty good life

[15:20] what a horrible dystopian future

[15:21] he works at a robot cop factory

[15:23] and he's married to Kate

[15:24] back in the 70s

[15:25] sounds pretty sweet

[15:26] sounds kind of like

[15:28] the life of

[15:28] director Len Wiseman

[15:29] right now

[15:30] and he has a big

[15:31] studio apartment

[15:31] let's not forget that

[15:32] his life is

[15:34] his friend

[15:34] is always telling him

[15:36] how terrible his life is

[15:37] Bokeem Woodbine

[15:38] is telling him

[15:39] oh your life

[15:40] our lives really stink

[15:41] whatever

[15:41] But he's got a beautiful wife in this big apartment, by New York standards, I guess.

[15:45] And he makes robots for a living.

[15:46] Like, what's the—anyway.

[15:47] There's a company called Recall that can input a—like an adventure module into your head.

[15:53] So you have memories as if you've lived through some kind of crazy adventure.

[15:57] Yeah, they can strange-daze you.

[15:58] Basically, yeah.

[16:00] They went for a strange-dazing.

[16:02] That's what it's like.

[16:03] It's like strange days.

[16:04] This movie actually is a lot like strange days.

[16:09] I wonder if they accidentally made a Strange Days remake and not a Total Recall remake.

[16:14] But Colin Farrell is thinking about going in for one, and he finally does.

[16:19] And it's run by, what's his name?

[16:20] John Cho.

[16:21] John Cho, who does not offer him a White Castle hamburger, which is disappointing.

[16:25] And he says, now, here's the thing.

[16:27] Nothing in your fantasy can be the same as in your real life because that would cause problems in your brain or something.

[16:34] Yeah, it caused too much confusion.

[16:36] That makes a little sense.

[16:37] It caused too much confusion.

[16:38] But you wanted a secret agent mission?

[16:40] Let's just double check and make sure you're not cheating on your wife.

[16:42] We'll also make sense when the tech is sticking a needle in his arm

[16:47] and she says, hey, in the future,

[16:49] this is still the easiest way to get fluids in your body.

[16:52] She doesn't say it's in the future, but there is a point where...

[16:55] She'll say it's still the easiest way to get chemicals in your body,

[16:57] which does not make sense,

[16:59] except for if you're watching a movie about the future.

[17:01] Now I'm like, hey, now in the present, it's still the easiest way.

[17:06] She basically looked at the camera and winked.

[17:08] It's like if it's a movie where someone gets into a car that's just a regular car and then starts driving around going, well, we have flying cars too, but we also have ground cars.

[17:20] To a person living in that world, it would not seem weird to have a ground car.

[17:25] That's a dumb moment, but I kind of like it because it's like they're one step away from that point from saying like, that'll be a thousand future bucks.

[17:36] oh i gotta get so much money what are they buying a fucking alien skin vest i gotta go to my astro

[17:42] job i guess i'll take the space train that's crazy well yeah i live in goes through the

[17:48] center of the earth i live in new angeles that kind of thing yeah uh anyway so unfortunately

[17:55] they're checking his psychological memory profile or some shit and it turns out he is a secret agent

[18:00] so they end at that it's at that point that a ton of policemen run in and start shooting all

[18:06] everybody outside till it happened i guess so i guess i guess the recall chair machine has a but

[18:12] has a has a secret agent alert it is the first of many moments where something happens and it

[18:17] cues bad guys jumping in instantly yeah where instantly an army of bad guys jumps in as if

[18:23] they were waiting for a thing they could not have possibly have known was gonna happen like you can

[18:26] imagine two guys standing outside and the other guy being like whoa wait wait wait we gotta we

[18:31] gotta wait for the signal or two cops burst in and saying like we just got an alert signal what's

[18:36] going on in here or something like that you know but no they go in guns blazing like 10 guys they

[18:41] kill all the asian people which is kind of weird uh but not colin farrell who then suddenly unknown

[18:47] to himself whips out a bunch of secret agent skills and kills everybody all the cops in the

[18:51] room it turns out he's some kind of secret badass maybe he is a secret agent i mean i knew that like

[18:57] He's super ripped, right?

[18:58] He's super ripped.

[18:59] For a factory worker, he's a...

[19:00] Yeah, we were talking about this.

[19:02] Just on a casting level, aside from maybe not casting two women who look almost exactly

[19:07] alike, also...

[19:08] You should have cast Tom Noonan in the lead role.

[19:10] Well, here's the thing.

[19:11] If you cast a schlub in the lead role, you believe, like, oh, I have an unsatisfying

[19:16] life, and it's more exciting when he's suddenly a secret agent.

[19:19] And also, when Kate Beck...

[19:20] He goes back home, and he escapes the police, and he gets a phone call on his handphone,

[19:24] which it turns out he has one of, that all secret agents have.

[19:27] Okay, that's weird.

[19:27] And it's another agent named Hammond who's telling him, oh, man, you're back.

[19:31] Well, you need to find the key.

[19:33] That's all you told me before you disappeared.

[19:35] Gotta go.

[19:36] And Colin Farrell takes a piece of glass and cuts his hand open and pulls the phone out.

[19:39] Colin Farrell goes back home.

[19:41] That by itself wouldn't bother me.

[19:43] The idea of a futuristic thing where you have a fucking phone in your hand.

[19:46] No, there's nothing wrong there.

[19:48] There's a lot of future tech in this movie that would be cool if it was in a better movie.

[19:54] But it's like because nothing is going on except the future tech or a guy running around and jumping.

[19:58] Colin Farrell does a ton of jumping.

[20:00] Most of the movie is him jumping off of things, landing on other things.

[20:03] He is great at jumping off roofs, man.

[20:05] Jumping out of things.

[20:06] Apparently, I guess in high school he was like on the jumping team because he jumps everywhere.

[20:10] And he goes home.

[20:12] There's a lot of times where he jumps out a window not knowing what will be there.

[20:15] And lo and behold, there's something there to catch him.

[20:17] Like a flying car or a building or a boat or something.

[20:20] So Kate Beckinsale, he goes home to, and he says, I killed all these people.

[20:24] And she's like, what?

[20:25] And then starts fighting him.

[20:28] It turns out that she's a secret agent who was set up to pretend to be his wife.

[20:33] His mind has been erased and replaced with fake memories.

[20:37] And she says, how else do you think a guy like you could marry a woman like me?

[20:41] And it's like, he's super handsome and ripped.

[20:45] Like, that's why you need a schlubby guy.

[20:47] We were saying, I mean, in my dream world, it would be Tom Noonan, yeah.

[20:50] seems weird he seems a little old for the part like a young tom noonan you know like manhunter

[20:55] era tom noonan older tom noonan so he has old age makeup on 10 years in the future or like how much

[21:04] better would it be if like wallace sean was the star of this movie amazing then i believe it's

[21:08] weird that kate beckinsale is married to him but uh they have a running and jumping you like me

[21:13] because of my plays.

[21:14] I thought you were just a fan

[21:16] of Aunt Dan and Lemon.

[21:17] Wallace Shawn.

[21:20] Poor Wallace Shawn.

[21:21] What do you mean,

[21:21] poor Wallace Shawn?

[21:22] He's a successful working actor

[21:24] and playwright.

[21:24] In this fantasy world

[21:26] that we've created.

[21:26] He's married to Kate Beckinsale.

[21:28] Right, true.

[21:28] And he's a secret agent.

[21:30] Plus, he gets to play Ziggy someday.

[21:32] Right, Wallace Shawn has it pretty sweet.

[21:34] He's pretty sweet.

[21:35] Or was it that he played Ziggy

[21:36] in the past?

[21:37] Who knows?

[21:38] Okay, continue with the...

[21:39] Wallace Shawn has a pretty nice life

[21:41] and I know because I was

[21:42] in a restaurant.

[21:43] and he was eating there it was a good restaurant i've seen two plays where he was in the audience

[21:47] and one of them was a very good play he wasn't even he wasn't eating even eating the market

[21:52] menu he was eating off of the market and it wasn't like he was digging through the garbage or

[21:58] anything you know stewart is the customer it seems to me that throwing that shit on a pizza

[22:04] what's happening here actually is that elliot is just bragging that he has as good a life as

[22:09] wally sean yeah oh to say i'm on gossip girl yeah all that stuff i do i voice a dinosaur for pixar

[22:15] yeah everything so anyway let's make a long story short because we're getting very long

[22:20] and we've gotten very not into the movie gate back and sail chases colin farrell around

[22:24] it turns he goes through a bunch of running and escaping and jumping onto stuff there's a car

[22:30] chase with magnetic cars on a highway and he meets up with jessica beal who is another it turns out

[22:35] that dream he had it was real she's another secret agent he they go to part of the resistance she's

[22:41] part of this resistance led by a mysterious man named matthias and the resistance is against

[22:46] the government which is run by brian cranston now the government i guess is evil because it has

[22:52] robots and stuff like they never i don't i guess they're subjugating like the poor workers like

[22:58] it's never quite clear what the resistance is against yeah because the bad guy has an evil

[23:02] plan but they don't quite know what it is yet but it turns out the bad guy was uh faking terrorist

[23:07] attacks against his own government oh i missed that the terrorist attacks were fake yeah like

[23:12] the resistance were not blowing things up so what was the resistance doing then what were they

[23:15] resisting they're just hanging out like they're mostly like hippies they're just like man we gotta

[23:20] we gotta put the means of production to work his hands let's just hang out dude so the call so

[23:25] colin farrell takes her back to after this big car chase takes jessica beale you'd think it's

[23:30] kate beckinsale because they look alike no it's it's and kate beckinsale at this point wants to

[23:35] catch colin farrell really bad she's running after him catch that colin she wants to bag that farrell

[23:42] catch that colin and uh brian cranston keeps saying catch him but don't kill him keep him

[23:47] alive but she wants to kill him she is the uh she's the michael ironside basically she's chasing

[23:51] after him she's the um you know the the bad the bad guy who's chased him sure yeah so i'm trying

[23:58] to think of another example of that in a movie yeah exactly the tommy lee jones in uh that movie

[24:02] uh valley villa anyway so when he was chasing a fugitive like in that movie the executioner's song

[24:11] like in that tommy lee jones movie hope springs when he's chasing that fugitive

[24:17] and there's magnetic cars anyway they go back to colin farrell's old apartment where he finds the

[24:23] key is a piano key which unlocks spartan but well appointed yes which unlocks a secret agent

[24:30] a government salary well this is the kind of secret agent who lives in luxury like jimmy bond

[24:35] or uh you know uh the man from uncle jason bourne jason yeah jimmy bourne the uh not your uh michael

[24:42] kane style secret agent no this is not your tinker taylor soldier harry callahan type yeah he plays

[24:47] a radical song on his piano yeah and that makes a hologram of himself but with a goatee appear

[24:54] because this is the old colin farrell it turns out he was an agent for the government set to

[24:58] infiltrate the rebellion but he became sympathetic with the rebellion the scales fell from his eyes

[25:04] resistance the resistance whatever mainly they're synonyms one's on one's on i guess one's one's

[25:11] passive and one's aggressive i guess he could also uh mainly because he fell in love with

[25:15] jessica beale's sweet body and who wouldn't come on sure as far as bodies go there's few sweeter

[25:20] in the movies at least that's part of your wedding vows right yep i said well i said to my wife i

[25:27] said for richer for poorer as far as bodies go there are few sweeter sickness and health then

[25:33] jessica beale's then i said on a scale from zero to beale you're a beale so anyway you've got real

[25:40] abeel is what you said get out go on get out so it turns out brian cranston wants to invade the

[25:49] colony and kill all the people there and steal its land because land is so valuable and he wants to

[25:54] replace all the workers with robots or as they call them here robots uh they call them like

[25:59] fabricants or something yeah i don't know anyway the uh but there's a secret code that colin farrell

[26:04] should have somewhere buried in his head

[26:06] that shuts off every robot in the world.

[26:09] And he needs to get that to the rebellion,

[26:13] or to the resistance, to Matthias.

[26:15] So he and Jessica Biel, they chase around a lot,

[26:19] they run around again, and they go into the poison zone

[26:22] and find the resistance led by Bill Nighy.

[26:24] Hey, it's Bill Nighy, everybody.

[26:26] Everyone's favorite Bill Nighy.

[26:27] He's the leader of the resistance.

[26:28] They strap Colin Farrell into it.

[26:29] I'm looking forward to him being in this movie

[26:31] for a long, long time.

[26:32] He's certainly an actor of that caliber.

[26:34] They're not just going to have him show up for one scene.

[26:36] He's going to stay in it.

[26:37] So they strap Colin Farrell into a recall chair.

[26:40] And so we're going to erase these fake memories and bring back your original memories.

[26:43] But it turns out to be a trap.

[26:45] It's a trap.

[26:46] Oh, no.

[26:47] Bryan Cranston deliberately wanted Colin Farrell to get caught by the resistance so that they could lead him back to find him where the resistance was.

[26:55] Which makes no sense because they've spent a lot of time trying to kill Colin Farrell.

[27:00] And killing a lot of people accidentally while trying to kill him.

[27:04] Like, even if you believe that Kate Beckinsale is a loose cannon because she was the one who was like,

[27:09] forget what he said about capturing this guy, we've got to kill him.

[27:12] Like, capturing him wouldn't help either.

[27:14] No.

[27:14] Because they want him to escape and lead them to the resistance.

[27:17] There's a whole scene that we skipped past where Colin Farrell's friend is sent in by the police to convince him that Jessica—

[27:23] Bokeem Woodbine of the movie Blackmail.

[27:26] Yes.

[27:26] Where to send in to convince him that this is all a delusion Colin Farrell's having

[27:31] and that he has to shoot Jessica Biel so that he can wake up from the stillness.

[27:35] Yeah, just like in the original movie.

[27:36] Exactly.

[27:37] But instead Colin Farrell shoots his friend and they escape.

[27:41] But that whole scene and that ploy and that gambit makes no sense

[27:44] if you want Colin Farrell to escape and take you to the Resistance.

[27:48] Of course, you're totally right.

[27:50] Basically none of the movie makes sense once you get to this point in the movie.

[27:54] And so Bryan Cranston is there, he kills Bill Nighy.

[27:56] But luckily the rest of the movie makes sense, right?

[27:58] It makes perfect sense.

[28:00] There's a brief moment between Bryan Cranston and Bill Nighy, two great actors.

[28:04] Let's see what sparks are going to fly.

[28:05] Top of their craft.

[28:06] None.

[28:06] He shoots him, and that's it.

[28:08] Bill Nighy is dead in the movie.

[28:10] He says, maybe 30 words in the entire film.

[28:16] I perked up immediately upon him appearing, and then was saddened.

[28:23] Let's say what this was.

[28:24] John Cho was in it for a few more lines than Bill Nighy, and then he gets shot by faceless goons.

[28:30] I think we all know what this was, guys.

[28:31] This is what Al Madrigal would call a cash grab.

[28:33] This is just an out-and-out cash grab on the parts of these guys.

[28:37] You get in, you get out, you get your check.

[28:39] So, and I'm sure just like...

[28:42] Wait a minute.

[28:42] Wait, they weren't fully invested in the idea of Total Recall the remake?

[28:47] I think Bill Nighy was not.

[28:49] I think maybe...

[28:51] Bill Nighy was in those Underworld movies directed by Len Wiseman.

[28:53] I think those are also cash grabs.

[28:54] It might be why he agreed to do this, actually.

[28:58] Yeah, there was like a deal where he's like, okay, I'll be in two of your movies.

[29:02] Like, okay, all right, Nahi, two of my movies plus a cameo.

[29:05] I think what actually happened was Len Wiseman said, hey, do you want to be in another one of my movies?

[29:09] And he said, sure, I like you, plus you'll pay me, right?

[29:12] Yes, we will.

[29:13] Okay, well, I'm a working actor, so I'll take this paycheck.

[29:15] It was going to, what, take a day of shooting?

[29:18] Yeah, sure, I'll go.

[29:19] If I understand it, the pay I will receive for this will be exchanged for goods and services.

[29:23] Yeah, that's your choice.

[29:24] Whatever you want to do, Bill Nighy.

[29:27] Or, alternately, I could save it for a future date that's accruing interest or invest it to make more money to exchange for other goods and services that are more expensive than the money I originally got for this job.

[29:37] Yes, Bill Nighy.

[29:38] You have put your finger on the way that money works.

[29:43] You have proven yourself a master of economics.

[29:46] And potentially an elder vampire, according to those movies.

[29:49] So, at this point, the bad guys seem to have won.

[29:53] It turns out the whole idea of a code that turns off the robots, not true.

[29:58] But the invasion of the colony and the liquidation of its residents, totally true.

[30:02] Yeah, they're going to send a shitload of robots through the center of the earth.

[30:04] In the core elevator.

[30:07] In their dumb elevator, they're going to send them to the colony and just kill everybody.

[30:11] So that sounds great, though.

[30:12] An elevator full of killer robots to go to Australia to murder everybody.

[30:15] But also, let's go back.

[30:17] If in the hands of George Miller, that would be an amazing movie.

[30:20] Maybe it'd have a talking pig in it.

[30:23] Let's dial it back, Elliot, and go back to your previous concern about the way the politics of this movie work.

[30:28] Yes.

[30:28] Now, apparently, this place called The Colony is a colony of this richer...

[30:36] Much the same way that, say, Haiti was once a colony of France, or our own United States of America, as hard as it is to believe, was once a series of colonies of Great Britain itself.

[30:45] Until they sent a bunch of killer robots after us.

[30:47] That's exactly what happened, because they wanted our land.

[30:49] For some reason...

[30:50] Actually, that's what we did with the Indians, really.

[30:51] For some reason, the president needs to send a bunch of killer robots to this colony to clear out space for more people.

[30:57] And they refer to it as an invasion.

[30:59] He doesn't need to send those killer robots.

[31:01] He needs to accompany an army of killer robots.

[31:04] Because he does go in person to lead.

[31:06] He does say literally, I've got an invasion to lead, which leads me to think he needs to learn how to delegate.

[31:11] Because this is one of those movies where this corrupt, evil government has three people in it.

[31:17] He's taking command of the people, literally.

[31:19] Brian Cranston, Kate Beckinsale, and Colin Farrell, who's undercover, and two of those people were pretending to be husband and wife just living in an apartment.

[31:28] So Brian Cranston has been running the whole world all by himself under this strain.

[31:32] It's no wonder he cracked and came up with this terrible invasion plan.

[31:35] I wouldn't be surprised if he dug that earth elevator hole himself.

[31:38] Yeah, I mean, as the president, can't he just be like, we need you guys to move out of this area to make room for more rich people?

[31:46] Why does he have to have robots do this?

[31:47] Awesomer.

[31:48] What?

[31:49] It's way more awesome to send an army of robots to do your dirty work than to defeat them through economics and things like that.

[31:58] And things like, exactly.

[31:59] And making them drink.

[32:01] All you've got to do is pass a law that makes it so they have to leave.

[32:04] And get them to drink a bunch of fatty sodas and stuff.

[32:08] Get them to do it.

[32:11] It's hard to persuade people to drink sodas.

[32:13] It's all a bunch of fatty sodas.

[32:15] Oh, so you're talking about economic imperialism now.

[32:17] Yeah, I like it.

[32:18] Okay.

[32:19] I didn't realize Stuart had such a red heart.

[32:20] Anyway.

[32:21] In truth, though, I much prefer robot imperialism.

[32:24] So, he's got a, they've got, now, Jessica Biel's been captured, Colin Farrell has also

[32:30] been captured, I guess, and is going to be killed or something.

[32:33] He gets out.

[32:34] They go on the, there's this awesome action scene on the space elevator thing.

[32:39] Yeah, and this is also, there was an earlier action sequence with regular elevators.

[32:43] So there's a lot of jumping, a lot of elevators.

[32:45] If you like movies about jumping in elevators and you want a little bit of robots, this is the movie for you.

[32:51] They go, they blow up the elevator full of robots.

[32:55] Kate Beckinsale's chasing after them.

[32:58] They manage to, there's a, Colin Farrell has a fist fight with a robot, then a fist fight with Bryan Cranston.

[33:04] Against all logic, Bryan Cranston is winning until, I guess, the explosion blows up everything.

[33:10] I think he stops paying attention or something.

[33:13] Yeah, Colin Farrell stabs him with Bryan Cranston's own knife, and the good guys win, everything blows up,

[33:20] and the colony, which has just seen its entire economic livelihood destroyed, celebrates, and it's like the Ewoks…

[33:28] Yeah, yub-yub.

[33:29] …yubbing it up.

[33:31] It's like the moment in Return of the Jedi Special Edition where the Emperor has died seconds ago,

[33:37] and instantly people are toppling statues of him.

[33:41] Well, also, like, apparently they're, like, super excited that this core elevator is gone.

[33:46] Like, that would be the easiest thing to sabotage.

[33:49] Just blow it up.

[33:50] Yeah, if they don't want...

[33:51] Just put some bombs in it.

[33:52] Yeah, just, like, if they don't want people coming from the other side, like, they don't want to cut it off, just, like, fill that fucking hole in.

[33:57] Like, start dumping some dirt in there.

[33:59] I don't know.

[33:59] That's a lot of...

[33:59] That's a big hole, Dan.

[34:01] Yeah, I guess.

[34:01] I don't know if that's exactly how it works.

[34:03] But if you got a little dirt in there, like, that elevator can't get through.

[34:06] I think you misunderstand elevators.

[34:10] Just start throwing all your blade-runnery bullshit down there.

[34:13] All right, so jam them up.

[34:14] Your neon signs and your umbrellas and whatnot.

[34:17] Whatever, put like a big fucking sheet of metal over it.

[34:19] Just put some plywood over that.

[34:21] You know, like when you got a broken window.

[34:24] I mean, like, yeah, it's not hard.

[34:27] That's all I'm saying.

[34:27] If that's the one thing that connects your place to the other place,

[34:31] sabotage that one thing.

[34:32] It is weird that airplanes seem not to exist in this world.

[34:35] It's like they just threw them out.

[34:36] Don't eat them.

[34:37] Maybe there's not enough land.

[34:39] You know what?

[34:39] I'm going to say there's not enough ground land for landing strips.

[34:42] That's what it is.

[34:43] Oh, wow, you did it.

[34:44] Even though they have magnetic highways in the sky and they can create floating things, they don't have floating landing strips.

[34:51] But anyway, so it's, hey, we did it.

[34:54] We saved the world.

[34:54] Colin Farrell passes out or something.

[34:56] He wakes up, and Jessica Biel's like, hey, how's it going?

[35:01] Oh, you're back.

[35:02] That's great.

[35:03] They did the weakest attempt at trying to make you think like, oh, wait, was this whole thing just part of the whole total recall simulator?

[35:09] It goes black, and then you hear some voices, and then Colin Farrell wakes up in a hospital bed.

[35:15] And they kind of try and make Jessica Biel look like, what's the other one's name, Evangeline Lilly?

[35:20] I think Angie Everhart, that's who you're thinking of.

[35:24] Kate Beckinsale.

[35:25] So they try to make it for like a second, and then it goes back to Jessica Biel, and then...

[35:29] And then, double twist.

[35:31] He notices she doesn't have the scar on her hand from the bullet that passed through their hands.

[35:36] And it turns out it's Kate Beckinsale with a hologram head on that makes her look like Jessica Biel.

[35:42] And there's a fight scene very briefly inside this meta hatch.

[35:45] Somebody get my wife one of those, you know what I mean?

[35:47] Get her the hologram head so that she'll look like Jessica Biel?

[35:51] Isn't that what dudes want?

[35:53] No.

[35:53] I know your wife.

[35:54] Know what I mean?

[35:55] Yeah, this is awkward.

[35:56] Okay, I'm just fucking joking around here, guys.

[35:58] Cheer up.

[35:59] I don't like it.

[36:00] We should have mentioned earlier he used a hologram head to get through some security.

[36:04] It's not like they just suddenly introduced a hologram head out of nowhere.

[36:07] It's true.

[36:08] So, yeah, it works within the movie.

[36:10] They follow a good screen, right?

[36:10] Yeah, look, Chekhov said if you introduce a hologram head in Act 2,

[36:15] you've got to have Kate Beckinsale use it in Act 3 to look like Jessica Biel.

[36:18] But they did introduce a hologram head that was faulty.

[36:20] It didn't work the first time.

[36:22] Because that whole scene was literally just a play on the scene in the original Total Recall

[36:27] where he's disguised as an old lady and his robot head malfunctions.

[36:31] So he then shoots this woman, and everybody thinks it's okay.

[36:35] He beats Jessica.

[36:37] He literally kicks Kate Beckinsale out of a room and shoots her in the chest.

[36:42] And everyone's like, what?

[36:43] Oh, no, it's cool.

[36:45] Yeah, oh, yeah.

[36:45] It's Cole Hauser.

[36:46] We all know who she is.

[36:48] Oh, I forgot to mention that Colin Farrell's actual name is not Dougie, but Carl Hauser,

[36:52] which is ridiculous because it sounds so much like Cole Hauser.

[36:55] So everyone in the movie, it sounds like they're calling him Cole Hauser, which is the name of a real person.

[37:00] Yeah, that's a name of a real person, Elliot.

[37:03] It's like if they named him George DiMaggio.

[37:07] But everyone was talking real fast.

[37:09] They're like, hey, George DiMaggio.

[37:10] So it sounded like they were calling him Joe DiMaggio.

[37:12] Yeah.

[37:13] At least Google search Carl Hauser to make sure Google doesn't say, did you mean Cole Hauser?

[37:18] Because that's an easy way to check the fusion.

[37:21] Usually I mean Cole Hauser, yeah.

[37:22] Almost always, because Cole Hauser is a real person.

[37:25] When I'm working on my paparazzi fanfic.

[37:28] So the movie ends with Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel

[37:33] are now, I guess, unemployed secret agent resistance fighters

[37:36] in a utopian dystopia.

[37:38] Time for them to stop resisting and start accepting.

[37:42] Okay, so movie over, two thumbs up.

[37:46] But it is a movie that is hard to get much out of.

[37:52] I mean, it's a pretty standard boilerplate sci-fi action movie,

[37:58] But it keeps reminding you of the earlier Total Recall in a way that doesn't help it at all, doesn't compliment it.

[38:05] Which is, I'll say, probably just as dumb, but easily more fun.

[38:11] I would say Total Recall, the original one, is dumber, but in a fun way.

[38:15] Like, when Colin Farrell has his kung fu fight with the robot at the end, that was the only moment where it really seemed to be approaching the kind of enjoyable dumbness of the original Total Recall.

[38:25] There's like a real pop art feel to Total Recall.

[38:28] It's just like everything is so overblown and colorful.

[38:31] The original Tour Recall is—

[38:32] Look at the colors.

[38:33] What?

[38:33] It's all the great colors.

[38:35] Wasn't that your argument for I Know Who Killed Me?

[38:38] Why it was great?

[38:39] Well, that's not why it was great.

[38:40] Why it's—people would think it was great if it was in another language because it uses blue a lot.

[38:45] But that's the thing is the original Tour Recall is really colorful and like popcorn fun.

[38:50] And this is Len Wiseman's style of everything being very grim and grainy.

[38:54] Everything is made out of gray concrete.

[38:56] It's always raining.

[38:58] there's no almost no color in the world it's been entirely drained of color to the point where

[39:03] it looks like i don't know it's really boring except i guess for the scenes where you're

[39:09] walking through neon lit uh the colony which just looks like cheapo blade runner you know

[39:14] but i mean like that's i feel like that's also now there's this idea in modern movies uh modern

[39:20] like stupid action movies that the way to make them good is to make them serious it's the same

[39:26] You know, and, like, that, I felt like that, like, I was glad when, like, Spider-Man came out because, like, that was so, like, goofy in, like, a fun way.

[39:34] Yeah.

[39:34] I was like, oh, finally this is going to die off, like, this, like, trend towards making everything gritty.

[39:38] And I think that maybe the fact that people didn't like Spider-Man 3 kind of, like, swung the pendulum back in the other direction again.

[39:45] I don't know, except the Avengers is really colorful and goofy in a fun way.

[39:49] I think there is more room for it than there was for a period there.

[39:53] Well, what you're talking about is something that happened in comic books also.

[39:55] where everyone assumed these stories are too silly, they're too dumb,

[40:00] like who's going to believe this unless everyone's murdered all the time

[40:04] and you can see the seams on their costumes and their boots have treads on the bottom.

[40:08] Of course, we made it, we did it, now it's believable.

[40:11] Once I can see the seams in their costume, it's totally believable.

[40:15] But that also came from like, oh, okay, Watchmen came out

[40:19] and the Dark Knight Returns came out and they're like,

[40:24] oh, okay, what we got to do is...

[40:26] Well, that's the same...

[40:27] The comic, you asshole.

[40:28] Well, the same thing that happened...

[40:29] This is good because it's gritty

[40:31] rather than being like,

[40:32] no, this is good because it's good

[40:33] and you can make a silly thing that's good.

[40:34] And the same thing happened in movies.

[40:35] The Bourne movies came out

[40:36] and everyone decided to make everything

[40:37] look like a Bourne movie.

[40:38] Yeah.

[40:39] I kind of, I got to admit,

[40:41] in this movie,

[40:42] I kind of like the bit

[40:43] where they're running around the elevators

[40:45] and they're jumping on top of elevators

[40:48] and there's a kung fu fight

[40:49] inside an elevator with robots.

[40:50] It was like an action movie sequence

[40:52] of the end of Monsters, Inc., basically.

[40:53] Yeah, that was okay.

[40:54] But I will say, some of the action sequences in this

[40:57] were a lot better than I thought they were going to be.

[40:58] Like, the movie around them was kind of bland and boilerplate,

[41:02] but, like, that sequence was kind of fun.

[41:05] He kung fu fights a robot.

[41:06] I mean, Colin Farrell just didn't bring that much to it.

[41:09] There's a lot of jumping, yeah.

[41:10] Like, and he's an actor who has brought,

[41:12] who has definitely brought more to smaller roles, I guess, or...

[41:16] It seems like he's an actor who needs something to hook his teeth into.

[41:19] Like, he's not going to come up with an idea

[41:21] of how to play a boring character,

[41:23] But if you give him a character like the lead in In Bruges, or I know you liked Fright Night.

[41:27] I haven't seen it yet.

[41:27] The Vampire in Fright Night.

[41:28] It's fun.

[41:29] Or like, even like his boss in Horrible Bosses.

[41:32] You know, like, if you give him a character who has a little bit of a hook, he can do a lot with it.

[41:36] Instead, he's just going to go for a quick cash grab.

[41:39] Exactly.

[41:39] A CG cash grab.

[41:40] But he could have played the character as a real nebbish.

[41:43] And in Bruges, he's a totally insecure, kind of nebbish-y type guy for the most part.

[41:48] And if he had played this character that way, it would have instantly been a better movie.

[41:53] Either that, or if he played it to the hilt as, like, gung-ho action guy, like Guy Pearce in Lockout.

[41:59] Space Jail?

[42:00] In Space Jail.

[42:01] Yeah.

[42:01] Like, that's the other way he could go with it.

[42:03] Instead, he would just hang in the middle and almost tried to play this person as a real person, which didn't work.

[42:08] You know, it was too boring.

[42:10] So, I think we gotta...

[42:11] It was such a believable world that he didn't want to take you out of it by playing a wacky character.

[42:17] Yeah, you're right.

[42:17] This Underworld Minority Report Blade Runner mashup.

[42:20] So I think we've got to skip to final judgments.

[42:23] Was this a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie you liked?

[42:25] Allie, what do you have to say for yourself?

[42:27] I would say it's a bad, bad movie, but there are things about it I liked.

[42:32] But overall, it's like kind of a nothing.

[42:34] Like I didn't care enough about it to really hate it.

[42:38] But if you're going to watch this movie, why not just go watch Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

[42:43] Yeah.

[42:43] Which does everything in this better.

[42:45] I would say that this is a bad, bad movie, but it wasn't as bad as I feared it would be.

[42:50] I thought it was going to be really deadly terrible.

[42:52] Yeah.

[42:53] There's some stuff in it.

[42:54] I mean, the first half an hour I found actually much more like sprightly than it became.

[43:01] Like, I felt like it all.

[43:03] Like an old Irishman?

[43:04] Like a springy old Jack?

[43:07] I just feel like so many Flophouse movies we watch have like a serious case of like second act droop.

[43:13] Like where it just gets really boring all of a sudden.

[43:15] And I felt like this was no different in that case.

[43:18] What do you think, Stu?

[43:18] Yeah, I'm kind of the same way.

[43:20] I mean, it's hard for me to say it's actually a good-bad movie

[43:23] because I feel a good-bad movie is something

[43:25] that you would want to watch with friends and have some laughs.

[43:27] Yeah, this is not that.

[43:27] And I don't think this really gave you any laughs.

[43:28] If this is on late-night TV and you have nothing else to do

[43:32] other than, I don't know, play video games or masturbate,

[43:35] I guess you could watch this.

[43:36] I would say masturbate.

[43:37] Yeah, masturbate first.

[43:37] And then maybe watch this.

[43:39] Okay.

[43:39] But it's like...

[43:40] Not at the same time.

[43:41] I mean, if you...

[43:42] I don't...

[43:42] I mean, if you really like Colin Farrell...

[43:44] Well, considering...

[43:45] I mean, I do.

[43:45] Considering Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel are in this,

[43:48] Not a lot of masturbation fodder.

[43:49] So I'd probably say bad, bad movie then, I guess.

[43:53] This is like, I would call it like a two, two and a half star movie.

[43:56] But I think you hit the nail on the head.

[43:57] Like, I feel that Total Recall is such a perfect example of a good, bad movie.

[44:01] Yeah, yeah.

[44:02] That it seems unnecessary to watch this one.

[44:05] When Total Recall, if Total Recall the original had been erased by some cosmic accident.

[44:11] Which would be terrible.

[44:13] Which would be awful.

[44:14] And they had to try to reconstruct it based on what the old people who had seen the movie remembered about it.

[44:20] Then I could understand watching this movie as like a very poor substitute.

[44:23] But when you can just watch the original Total Recall instantly, literally.

[44:28] I do have to say I did like the director's touch at Verhoevenism by having the villain, the villainess, just gunning down civilians with a machine gun at a point.

[44:38] Yeah.

[44:38] Trying to kill Colin Farrell.

[44:39] But that was so brief that it didn't really.

[44:41] It really didn't last long.

[44:42] And there wasn't a ton of blood, so it didn't really count.

[44:44] But I assume this is going to be like the RoboCop remake, where it won't be awful.

[44:48] Wait, they're remaking RoboCop?

[44:50] Oh, I didn't want to break it to you this way.

[44:51] Wait.

[44:52] Where it'll be probably...

[44:53] Is he still a robot?

[44:54] He's still...

[44:55] He's still a cop.

[44:57] It's actually a dance movie now.

[44:58] Is it still in Detroit?

[44:59] It's called Step Up 5, the RoboCop.

[45:01] He plays Ed 209.

[45:04] Where it's going to be a movie that is not horribly laughably bad, but just the original

[45:10] is right there.

[45:11] Just watch it.

[45:11] It's not going to be as good.

[45:12] So before we get on to letters,

[45:15] I've got no specific plugs on behalf of our friends

[45:19] at All Things Comedy, but I will say,

[45:21] why don't you start out the new year

[45:22] by stopping by allthingscomedy.com?

[45:24] Let's call this the New Year New Podcast Initiative,

[45:27] where you try a new podcast every week,

[45:30] maybe every month from ABC.

[45:32] There's some really good stuff over there.

[45:33] Give them a listen.

[45:33] Walking the Room, Minivan Men.

[45:35] What's it going to hurt you?

[45:37] Long Shot.

[45:37] I think we've mentioned a lot of them.

[45:39] Yeah, we've mentioned to try them out.

[45:40] Give a heads up to them.

[45:42] And also, February 1st, we do have something to plug.

[45:45] Yeah, we should plug this.

[45:46] Usually there's a little more space between our live appearances,

[45:51] but Hurricane Sandy pushed back the last one.

[45:54] Yeah.

[45:54] And so they're stacking up.

[45:56] Stacking like Krakens?

[45:59] No.

[45:59] Do Krakens stack?

[46:00] Like Flap Jacks.

[46:02] Stacking like Jacks.

[46:04] Do Jacks stack?

[46:06] Jack's stacking with the Flophouse.

[46:08] Our next live appearance is February 1st.

[46:10] We'll be showing the film with our I Love Bad Movies compatriots, Matt and Xenia, showing the film Don't Tell Her It's Me.

[46:17] The Boyfriend School?

[46:18] A.K.A. The Boyfriend School, starring Steve Guttenberg, Shelley Long, right?

[46:22] And Jamie Girtz.

[46:24] Jamie Girtz.

[46:24] Kyle MacLachlan.

[46:25] And Kyle MacLachlan.

[46:26] I always forget he's in it.

[46:27] Imagine Amick.

[46:28] The film that I once saw in a Blockbuster video with a sticker on it that said Guaranteed Entertainment.

[46:33] And it was, but not for the reasons that sticker thought.

[46:36] That's true.

[46:38] So we're going to be watching that February 1st at our old home, 92 Y Tribeca.

[46:42] Tickets are on sale right now.

[46:44] Tickets are on sale and already selling.

[46:45] So if you want to go, make a point to get your tickets early and often because it's going to sell out hopefully.

[46:52] It's going to be weird because we're probably not going to be able to talk much during the movie because we're going to be enjoying it too much, right?

[46:57] Our mouths are just going to be hanging open in awe.

[46:59] Filled with popcorn.

[46:59] That's how you tell that you're enjoying a film is how popcorn is in your mouth?

[47:05] You fill your mouth with popcorn so you don't speak and interrupt the movie.

[47:09] And then you put your penis in the popcorn, in the bucket, I guess.

[47:12] But we all know that doesn't work.

[47:14] So penises.

[47:14] Unless you want to fuck popcorn.

[47:16] Unless that's what you're interested in.

[47:17] Maybe that's what that scene in Diner was about,

[47:20] was the woman interrupting the guy having sex with his popcorn.

[47:23] Yeah, she was his beard.

[47:24] He's actually a popcorn sexual.

[47:26] He's a popophile, yeah.

[47:27] So anyway.

[47:30] Papa sexual.

[47:30] The first letter tonight comes to us.

[47:34] That's the biography of Orville Redenbach, right?

[47:36] Papa sexual?

[47:38] Yeah.

[47:39] Peter, last name withheld,

[47:44] writes a letter titled

[47:46] New York. And he says,

[47:48] Dear the Flophouse, New York sucks.

[47:50] What?

[47:51] What? Philly rules.

[47:53] We've been burned again.

[47:55] Peter, last name withheld.

[47:57] Damn you, Peter.

[47:59] This comes back from October,

[48:01] and I have to apologize.

[48:03] We have a real backlog of letters.

[48:06] Thanks for clarifying.

[48:07] I try and mix old and new stuff.

[48:09] Yeah, great.

[48:11] Let's just read it.

[48:12] I just want to apologize sometimes for not getting to these things in a timely fashion.

[48:16] Fucking email them back.

[48:17] Let's get this done.

[48:18] We have lives to live.

[48:19] We can't answer every letter right away.

[48:20] So this is, he goes, Dear The Flophouse, I've been listening to your podcast for the past

[48:25] three months, and I'm currently listening to your back catalog for the second time.

[48:28] I've listened to the podcast so much, in fact, that although this may derail my life and

[48:32] ruin me forever i've inadvertently come to think of you as role models of a sort that's a terrible

[48:37] idea good god why i barely know why but i'll try to explain i don't know why either from the bits

[48:43] and pieces of your lives that i've picked up listening to your show it seems you've fulfilled

[48:46] three of my biggest goals in life be stewart wellington you live in new york it was hard

[48:51] uh you live in new york you write comedy for an amy winning television show two of us do i'm

[48:56] assuming that stewart does this too and he's too modest to admit it and you host live he actually

[49:01] writes herman's head spec scripts in the hope that that show will come back so we keep telling

[49:06] him i've been talking and talking to netflix about it

[49:09] reuniting the original cast but fucking michael sarah's fucking holding out

[49:15] what he wasn't the head he's been steward's been emailing yardley smith

[49:21] he calls it herman's head of the family he thinks he's been emailing yardley smith he's

[49:25] been emailing yardley s at gmail.com in the hopes that that's her email address yeah

[49:30] uh anyway uh and you host live shows about bad movies february 1st oh and the podcast that's

[49:37] great too as far as i'm concerned oh my ipad went to sleep as far as i'm concerned you're

[49:44] living the dream quit me to sleep dan let's let's finish up the letter huh maybe you didn't interrupt

[49:50] me or adrian maybe we're all living in a dream and life is an illusion so i thought i'd ask you

[49:54] what should i do if i want to move to and survive in new york if i do stand up an improv and want

[50:00] to continue who should i be getting in touch with big brother elliott will i be able to get a job

[50:04] somewhere anywhere with only two years of proofreading experience on my resume little

[50:08] brother stewart can i crash on your couch weird maternal figure dane i visited new york enough

[50:14] to know that i want to live there and maybe all i need is some reassurance that it's not a terrifying

[50:18] hellhole that will swallow me up and take all my savings away from me sucking out my soul and

[50:23] turning me into a dead deadite in the process has this happened to anyone you know that guy in last

[50:27] action hero if this line of questioning is too overwhelming and or boring to the average listener

[50:32] hey who would you cast in a remake of face off would you pick two actors who are less likely

[50:36] to become laughingstocks in the next 10 to 15 years or you just bring back cage and travolta

[50:41] but have them switch roles we'll be called face off too and they're old but i would actually cast

[50:46] jessica biel and kate beckinsale so they could switch faces and nobody would notice to answer

[50:50] your most important question first no you can't sleep on my couch you don't want to it's covered

[50:55] and cat hair and chicken grease.

[50:56] Yeah, Popeye's farts.

[50:58] Years of Popeye's farts.

[51:01] I would say...

[51:02] This is why I'm apologizing, though,

[51:04] for not getting to this in a timely fashion.

[51:06] He's probably waiting by a train station.

[51:08] He has his ticket ready to go.

[51:10] With his fucking stick and bindle.

[51:11] He keeps pushing it back,

[51:13] just waiting for a word from the flophouse.

[51:14] It's a hard question to answer in a short fashion.

[51:17] I would say that if you want to try to make it in comedy,

[51:20] the most important thing is to start writing or performing.

[51:24] Listen to a lot of WTF.

[51:25] Listen to a lot of all things comedy podcasts.

[51:28] But I would say start writing and performing wherever you are first.

[51:33] New York is – basically there are two places you can – three places you can do comedy in America.

[51:37] Two of them make television shows, L.A. and New York.

[51:41] One of them makes more, L.A.

[51:43] Chicago is a comedy place that makes no television shows.

[51:46] But it's a good place to learn if you want to –

[51:47] It's a good place to learn, but it's hard to get a job there.

[51:49] But eventually you need to move someplace after that.

[51:51] But it's a tough – it's a very tough business.

[51:54] New York is not the hellish pit that many people worry about.

[51:57] There are millions of people who live here at all different levels of intelligence, income, ability, dream, and so forth.

[52:04] I want to say that before I moved here, I was terrified of New York because my conception of New York—

[52:11] It was that Jason was taking it.

[52:12] Well, I realized that my conception of New York was largely based on movies that had been made in the 70s.

[52:18] Yeah.

[52:18] And so I didn't realize that New York is actually a quite nice place to live right now.

[52:22] Yeah, I think I benefited from living in New Jersey and having family in New York.

[52:26] So I spent a lot of time here as a kid.

[52:28] And I never had that like, gee golly, awe, like wonder or fear of it.

[52:33] But I kind of wish I had had that experience a little bit.

[52:36] It's just a series of small neighborhoods.

[52:38] A series of tubes.

[52:39] My advice is to just hang out with some guys who do write comedy and watch a lot of movies with them.

[52:46] Well, that's the thing is.

[52:47] And you're making a lot of money off of this podcast.

[52:49] Dude, I am making a ton of money.

[52:52] And the thing I would say to – well, first you have to get a job somewhere, but not necessarily a comedy job.

[52:57] Just if you're going to make it in New York, you've got to be able to support yourself.

[53:00] I worked for 10 years in shithole administration.

[53:04] Maybe in a robot building factory.

[53:05] Who cares?

[53:06] And I worked for 10 years in an Emmy-winning TV show.

[53:08] It was rough.

[53:08] Son of a bitch.

[53:09] But the thing is to find a place where people are doing comedy.

[53:12] That could be UCB.

[53:13] That could be The Pit.

[53:13] That could be other places that comedy is being done.

[53:16] And literally it is hanging out and getting to know people.

[53:19] And the best way to network in comedy is to write or perform comedy, get up at stand-up shows, hang out at stand-up clubs if stand-up is what you want to do, and get to know people.

[53:28] And you'll make friends with people whose sensibilities are similar to yours, and that becomes your network of people that you can work with, that you can rely on, that you can help out when you get the chance.

[53:38] And when people say comedy community, like that's what it is.

[53:42] It's a real community, and you just have to become part of it.

[53:45] And they're nicer than you think they are.

[53:47] Yeah, they're unhappy people, but they are nice people, many of them.

[53:51] Some of them are assholes, but most are not.

[53:53] Follow your dream.

[53:53] I mean, the worst that will happen is that you'll realize you don't actually want to do this,

[53:57] and you'll have racked up incredible debt trying to.

[54:00] But, well, that's true.

[54:02] Oh, so that's not that bad.

[54:03] But you eventually paid off that debt.

[54:06] Yeah.

[54:06] But here's—

[54:07] I mean, I got lucky, but yeah.

[54:08] What I said to—this is something I said in the keynote address that I gave at my middle school's career day

[54:14] when they asked me to go back next year and give one is that you might as well try because if you

[54:20] try and you fail the worst that happens is nothing absolutely nothing happens and you remain where

[54:25] you were when you started if you try and you succeed then you succeed so you literally have

[54:30] nothing to lose except for the debt that dan was talking about so you might as well try and it's a

[54:35] matter of not waiting for the moment that's right to strike but going and doing it and not giving

[54:41] not making excuses and just doing it and getting out and doing what you want to do and building

[54:46] up that way uh this letter is uh titled centurion and it's from michael last name withheld he says

[54:55] hi dan stewart and elliot watch centurion a man gets stabbed in the ding dong enjoy love my and

[55:02] again i think i recommended centurion you did yeah there's a misconception out there that we

[55:07] just love ding dong violence i apparently do because it seems to be my recommendation and it

[55:13] was it was the best part of immortals right when that guy got hit in the crotch with a sledgehammer

[55:17] yeah but uh i think that stewart uh stewart's love for castle freak has uh put something out

[55:25] into the world and that lorena bobbitt tv movie right we don't necessarily want to support here's

[55:30] i want to add something that i meant what meant to say the last letter that i that i forgot to

[55:35] This isn't about ding-dongs, right?

[55:36] This is not ding-dong related, but we can make it that way if you want.

[55:39] Sure, okay.

[55:39] Which is that I would say if you want to be in comedy, you have to do it.

[55:44] You have to make it possible.

[55:45] But be ready for it to be very, very hard to get what you want in comedy.

[55:50] And be ready to put up with obstacles and try to overcome them and take a long time to do it.

[55:55] Like to be in comedy, and it's the same with being a writer or anything or an artist of any kind,

[56:00] you have to really need it because there's going to be so many obstacles to get past

[56:04] that if you don't need it, you're going to give up.

[56:06] And in a way, those obstacles exist to weed out the people who don't need it.

[56:09] So just know that this is what you want to do

[56:12] and be ready to have to put up with a lot to eventually do it.

[56:15] And also know that once you do get a job in comedy, it is still a job.

[56:21] Yeah, you've got to go in and go to work.

[56:22] Don't get me wrong, I love my job,

[56:24] but it's not going to solve every problem in your life.

[56:26] You're still kind of a sad bastard.

[56:30] Yeah, exactly.

[56:31] A guy who sighs a lot.

[56:33] Working comedy writers are no less depressed – well, maybe a little less depressed, but still depressed than unemployed comedy writers.

[56:39] Just better fed.

[56:39] But it's a career.

[56:41] It's not a lottery ticket.

[56:43] Even when you get that job, it's just a job and you need another one eventually.

[56:47] It's a career.

[56:48] But, yeah.

[56:49] So I saved that letter for a little while, knowing that it would take a little longer than the normal.

[56:54] But I'm glad we finally got to it.

[56:55] Meanwhile, he put his dreams on hold for you.

[56:57] Yeah, I'm sorry.

[56:58] How long was he supposed to wait, Dan?

[56:59] When were you going to come back?

[57:01] wait in the rain at that train depot um in any town usa i would say go for it just a small town

[57:08] boy go for it but be realistic about your chances and don't give up if you don't get it right away

[57:13] or in another way to put it keep your feet on the ground keep reaching for the stars all right

[57:18] this is the part of the podcast where we recommend movies that we actually liked in contrast to the

[57:25] movies that we watched for the podcast yeah which we usually don't like except for journey to the

[57:29] mysterious island so uh elliot is there something that you've seen lately that you would like to

[57:34] recommend to the flop house uh listeners out there i will recommend a movie i just watched

[57:39] very recently uh it's on netflix instant right now maybe it will be still when this episode goes up

[57:44] and it's called bernie uh it's a richard link letter movie that he came out with last year

[57:48] starring jack black and matthew mcconaughey and shirley mclean and it's a black comedy-ish

[57:54] story based on a true story about this very very charismatic popular undertaker who befriended

[58:02] an old lady and i don't know how what if i should tell you but i'll just tell you eventually kills

[58:08] her and the uh i mean i knew it going in but uh and it's a movie that is it's one of these movies

[58:16] it's kind of like um reds the movie i recommended i think last time in that they have interview

[58:21] segments with real people who actually knew these people right interspersed with jack black and

[58:26] matthew mcconaughey playing the characters in the movie and jack black gives like watching it i was

[58:31] like this totally makes up for jonathan swift or whatever gulliver's travels whatever the movie was

[58:35] they made it so shitty and like all his crap jonathan swift had all those tiny little fucking

[58:40] lilliputians based on a true story right like how edgar rice burroughs is in john carter

[58:44] the uh so it totally makes up for his like cash grab movies in a way that it reminds you that

[58:50] jack black is a really good performer like yeah he sings in it he acts in it and he's really good in

[58:55] it and it's a really like it's a good like comedy that's not always a haha comedy but is very uh

[59:03] gets to some deeper places while not while not being too sad you know but i enjoyed it a lot

[59:08] i'm going to continue a theme here and i'm going to recommend a durney

[59:12] you're gonna recommend the same movie i'm gonna do a dual recommendation of the other two films

[59:18] that Matthew McConaughey got a lot of attention for recently.

[59:22] On New Year's Eve...

[59:24] Angels in the Outfields?

[59:24] On New Year's Eve, I watched Magic Mike,

[59:26] and on New Year's Day, I watched Killer Joe.

[59:28] Oh, you saw Killer Joe already?

[59:30] Yeah.

[59:30] You said that a little while ago.

[59:32] I missed it.

[59:33] And they were great.

[59:34] Killer Joe is a very sleazy movie,

[59:38] and is kind of...

[59:40] Magic Mike, not so sleazy.

[59:42] Well, it's weird.

[59:43] The movie with the male stripping is less sleazy

[59:47] than Killer Joe.

[59:48] There's some...

[59:50] It has a Flophouse favorite in it.

[59:52] The guy who...

[59:53] Well, no, let me get to that

[59:54] in a second, actually.

[59:55] I was actually wanting to address that.

[59:57] It's just, you know,

[59:59] Killer Joe, Tracy Letts play...

[1:00:01] Recorder, strike that from the record.

[1:00:03] William Friedkin, director,

[1:00:04] the same team who did Bug.

[1:00:06] A lot of fun.

[1:00:08] A film noir pushed past normal film noir.

[1:00:12] I think that's how they advertised it was.

[1:00:14] From the makers of Bug.

[1:00:15] Yeah.

[1:00:16] From the minds that brought you Bug.

[1:00:17] But Magic Mike.

[1:00:18] It's been a lot of fun.

[1:00:20] Magic Mike was a lot of fun, and I wanted to address what I think you were getting to,

[1:00:24] was that Alex Pettifer is in it.

[1:00:27] Serious cum gutters on that guy.

[1:00:28] Boo, Alex Pettifer.

[1:00:30] From Beastly, and I am number four.

[1:00:33] And I just want to make it, like, no, but I want to highlight his work in Magic Mike.

[1:00:39] He's good in Magic Mike.

[1:00:40] He's good in Magic Mike.

[1:00:41] I feel like sometimes I feel bad that this whole podcast is about shitting on people because I don't think –

[1:00:49] I thought that was our German podcast that we do.

[1:00:51] I feel like – I mean we all love movies and we want them to succeed.

[1:00:55] Oh, yeah.

[1:00:55] And we don't want to be like part of like I think that the internet snark complex.

[1:01:00] So I want to make it clear that like in the case of Alex Pettifer, maybe he was just bad movies before.

[1:01:05] Like he's very good at Magic Mike and Channing Tatum who you wouldn't expect to be that great.

[1:01:10] You know, it was great in Magic Mike as well.

[1:01:12] They're both great as sets of abs and dancing shoes.

[1:01:15] But they handle what the movie needs them to do as actors.

[1:01:19] I guess what you're saying is these people are in movies for a reason.

[1:01:22] And the movies we see don't necessarily provide the reason.

[1:01:25] Alex Pettifer, if you just see Beastly and I Am Number Four, as I only have, comes off as there's no reason to ever put this person in a movie.

[1:01:34] And he comes off as unlikable.

[1:01:36] But it could be, yeah, like you're saying, just bad movies.

[1:01:39] And there's a reason people give them a shot at being in movies.

[1:01:41] But I would recommend both of those films, both, again, with a great Matthew McConaughey performance, too.

[1:01:46] So Magic, starring Anthony Hopkins, and Beautiful Joe, the video game?

[1:01:50] Yeah.

[1:01:51] That's right.

[1:01:53] Stuart, what do you got?

[1:01:55] I watched Ted the other day, and I really like that.

[1:01:59] The movie where, you know, Seth MacFarlane climbs into a tiny little teddy bear suit and he acts opposite Marky Mark.

[1:02:07] Are they stringing him down like Mike TV and Willy Wonka?

[1:02:09] But no, I mean, I think that Ted kind of highlights.

[1:02:15] I mean, it's a movie about a fucking talking teddy bear.

[1:02:17] I thought it was about a conference.

[1:02:18] And I think it kind of highlights what makes Seth MacFarlane's comedy work.

[1:02:26] And they managed to throw in enough asides and kind of inside jokes with Flash Gordon

[1:02:33] to keep his rabid old person fan base excited.

[1:02:37] I'm more intrigued now that I know that Flash Gordon is involved somehow.

[1:02:40] And it actually has pretty good performances from Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis,

[1:02:45] who actually seem to have some chemistry together.

[1:02:48] They're not bad actors.

[1:02:48] No, but I mean, it's a silly movie about a guy with a teddy bear,

[1:02:52] and I think it manages to, like, they have some fairly good chemistry

[1:02:56] between all three lead actors.

[1:02:58] But I've also heard, like, a lot of good things about Ted

[1:03:00] from people who wouldn't necessarily like Family Guy,

[1:03:02] which gets, you know, shit on a fair amount in comedy circles, I feel like.

[1:03:07] And I, you know, like, I don't love Family Guy, but, like, you know, I also think it has some good jokes sometimes.

[1:03:13] Like, I don't hate it either, so.

[1:03:15] And, I mean, not everything about it works, but, I mean, you get some good Giovanni Ribisi dancing out of it.

[1:03:21] So, hey, it's a movie.

[1:03:23] Is that your definition of a movie?

[1:03:26] That Giovanni Ribisi dances in it?

[1:03:29] I think that was in the ads.

[1:03:31] He's like, hey, there's some Giovanni Ribisi dancing in it.

[1:03:35] So, hey, it's a movie.

[1:03:36] So the only two movies that exist for you are Ted and The Other Sister.

[1:03:41] Wow.

[1:03:44] I'm impressed that you had a movie where Giovanni Ribisi dances cute up.

[1:03:49] I actually don't remember if he dances or if he just dresses up in a dog costume.

[1:03:51] Either way.

[1:03:53] Either way.

[1:03:53] He's got to dance.

[1:03:54] Come on.

[1:03:54] Okay, that's four movies we recommended.

[1:03:56] We like movies, see?

[1:03:57] Wait, four movies?

[1:03:58] Oh, yeah, you recommended two.

[1:03:58] Yeah, high fives, guys.

[1:04:00] Woo!

[1:04:00] Slap, slap.

[1:04:02] Why are we high-fiving if we're doing the same thing we do every time?

[1:04:05] We were successful.

[1:04:06] We did four this time.

[1:04:06] Whatever.

[1:04:07] We didn't die in the middle of the podcast.

[1:04:08] I think that's a reason to celebrate.

[1:04:09] Stuart, you usually recommend three movies.

[1:04:11] Head of the Family, Invisible Maniac, and Castle Freak.

[1:04:16] I mean, I do recommend all three of those movies.

[1:04:18] Thanks for bringing it up.

[1:04:19] Anything that raises the average eBay price on those three movies is good for me.

[1:04:23] Do you own stock of those three movies?

[1:04:25] I do, yeah, yeah.

[1:04:26] Is that possible?

[1:04:26] He gets a commission.

[1:04:27] I am vice president of Full Moon Entertainment.

[1:04:29] All right.

[1:04:33] You should see my collection of puppets.

[1:04:35] Well, on that reference to a semi-obscure exploitation production company.

[1:04:40] Or Vidmark.

[1:04:41] I'd like to sign off.

[1:04:43] For The Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:04:45] I'm Stuart Wellington, president of Vidmark.

[1:04:48] And I'm Elliot Kalin, who now wants to be a share owner in Vidmark.

[1:04:53] Good night, everyone.

[1:05:03] what what doesn't make sense about it name one thing about it that doesn't make sense

[1:05:10] are you trying to say that the idea of the jebediah morningside is his crazy interdimensional

[1:05:15] necromancer of course there is that's in the first movie tooting forks man he makes a little

[1:05:22] dwarf zombie it all makes sense and he has floating globes with blades that come out of

[1:05:26] them and stuck into people's foreheads yeah his spheres that have brains inside them

[1:05:29] What doesn't make sense

[1:05:32] What doesn't make sense

[1:05:33] You guys have convinced me

[1:05:35] And at one point Reggie Bannister

[1:05:36] Combines two shotguns

[1:05:39] Into a four barreled shotgun

[1:05:41] That makes perfect sense

[1:05:43] The quad shotgun

[1:05:44] Come on quad gun

The Flop House: Episode #118 - Total Recall

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