The Flop House: Episode #123 - That's My Boy

[0:00] In this episode, we discuss the statutory rapist comedy since Gigi, That's My Boy.

[0:30] hey everyone and welcome to the flop house i'm dan mccoy i'm stewart wellington and i'm

[0:38] elliot calen the first good job stew you did it yeah you said your name at the right time okay

[0:44] you didn't think dan was talking to you and then go hey dan let's wrap it up

[0:48] so this has been the flop house i'm ellie calen i i'm just wondering if there's newfound

[0:54] profession i'm stewart wellington no no no i was wondering if this newfound professionalism was

[0:59] because this is the first time we're recording

[1:01] since Entertainment Weekly

[1:03] put us on their must list

[1:06] for the mustiest

[1:07] people in America.

[1:09] Smell that damn smell.

[1:11] It's like we live in a swamp or a basement.

[1:14] You've been working on that one since

[1:15] you saw the posting?

[1:19] I'm not really working

[1:22] on it so much as it's just

[1:23] refining it.

[1:25] It's the kind of flash lightning brilliance

[1:27] that you tune into the blob house for.

[1:29] But I do want to recommend – I want to remind, rather, subscribers to Entertainment Weekly that by subscribing, they are entering into a legal contract with Entertainment Weekly that anything that they say that you must consume, you must consume.

[1:41] They have to.

[1:42] And also that they should keep writing Entertainment Weekly saying, hey, more Flophouse coverage, please.

[1:47] We love these guys.

[1:48] What's going on with those guys?

[1:48] Maybe a cover.

[1:49] Maybe with Stewart and his tuxedo.

[1:53] Yeah, I'll do it.

[1:54] By the time this is put up, it's going to have been –

[1:56] In the cast of Grey's Anatomy, they're in their doctor's scrubs, and me in my tuxedo.

[2:01] Why would you be there with Grey's Anatomy?

[2:03] It's a must-list reunion?

[2:04] Just you and Bates Motel and Grey's Anatomy.

[2:10] Remember when.

[2:10] It's a crossover.

[2:12] You start demanding, like, handsome Dr. Stewart is coming.

[2:16] Handsome Dr. Stewart is actually his name in the show.

[2:19] I just won't play by your rules.

[2:21] I'll save lives, but I will not put on anything but this tuxedo.

[2:24] You're going to get engaged in a temporary romance with Dr. Gray.

[2:29] Who's Dr. Gray?

[2:30] But then you'll die tragically.

[2:31] The titular Dr. Gray.

[2:33] Killed by Dr. Anatomy.

[2:36] I thought the character was Dr. Anatomy.

[2:37] That's how I would do that show.

[2:41] Sure.

[2:42] Just like how General Hospital, if I ran, it would be about a military man whose last name is Hospital.

[2:46] So welcome to the Flophouse.

[2:48] This is your All Things Entertainment weekly coverage.

[2:50] Now, for those of you listening, this episode will come out a couple weeks after the Entertainment Weekly article.

[2:55] Yeah, we did record one that came out already.

[2:59] But for us, this is something that just happened, so we're still a little giddy about it.

[3:03] Thank you very much to Entertainment Weekly, and thank you very much to all of our fans over the years

[3:07] whose enthusiasm and excitement and word of mouth and basically nudging the AV Club to cover us more regularly

[3:14] in the comments section, I think, all contributed to this.

[3:16] Couldn't have done it without you.

[3:17] All those fans who listen to us without a magazine telling them to.

[3:20] Without those fans, we'd just be three lonely guys sitting in a room.

[3:24] Talking into unconnected microphones in the darkness.

[3:28] Having just watched the worst movie Adam Sandler ever made.

[3:30] Yeah, which brings us to the subject of tonight's episode, or today's.

[3:34] I don't know when you're listening to this.

[3:36] That's my boy.

[3:37] Oh, is it?

[3:38] No.

[3:39] What's his name?

[3:39] I'm childless.

[3:41] Oh, I'm so sorry.

[3:42] No, that was a decision by a man.

[3:43] So this is like Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

[3:45] Like an imaginary child you and your wife have created?

[3:47] Dan's Baron.

[3:47] No, Baron Von Dan.

[3:50] As far as I know, that's not true.

[3:51] I just don't have a child.

[3:53] But the movie we watched was That's My Boy.

[3:55] The movie was your boy?

[3:57] It was.

[3:59] Dan, the fame has gone to your head.

[4:01] This was an Adam Sandler vehicle.

[4:03] Adam Sandler joint, yeah.

[4:04] Actually, he didn't direct it.

[4:07] Happy Madison Productions.

[4:08] He's bringing in some new blood.

[4:09] He's co-starring with young Andrew Sandberg.

[4:12] It's two guys whose initials are A.S., who both have very Jewish faces and are comedians and came off of Saturday Night Live.

[4:18] Plausible father and son duo.

[4:20] Well, the thing is, it's a great idea to pair the two of them in a movie because they do look like they could be family members.

[4:26] The bad idea was in making it this movie that they were paired up in.

[4:29] So that if they ever do this collaboration again, people are going to think back and be like, oh, yeah, it's like That's My Boy 2, right?

[4:36] Yeah, it's a reunion of that movie we love so much.

[4:38] Yeah, that's my – well, in 10 years when the Oscars does the That's My Boy reunion with all the cast, like they did for Chicago.

[4:43] Yep.

[4:45] Still annoyed by that.

[4:48] Nick Schwartzen.

[4:49] There's no reason to reunite the cast of Chicago.

[4:51] We never see those guys.

[4:53] Come on.

[4:54] We see them all the time.

[4:55] And also, nobody even remembers that movie, even though one best picture.

[4:58] Anyway, That's My Boy had a big all-star cast.

[5:02] Yeah, you got...

[5:04] Adam Sandler, Rex Ryan, Susan Sarandon in one scene, and her daughter in a couple scenes.

[5:08] Tony Orlando.

[5:09] Flophouse previously covered actress Leighton Meester.

[5:14] Leighton Meester, yeah.

[5:15] Popular hip-hop artist Vanilla Ice.

[5:18] And who else?

[5:19] Milo Ventimiglia.

[5:20] Perfect.

[5:21] Not a name.

[5:22] It's not a real name.

[5:23] You made it up.

[5:24] Ventimigliturgulia.

[5:25] It's a disease of some kind that affects the neural cells.

[5:28] He was Rory's boyfriend on Gilmore Girls.

[5:32] Her only boyfriend.

[5:33] For all people out there who, like me, have the taste of a 14-year-old girl.

[5:37] That explains all the One Direction posters that are up in your apartment.

[5:42] And the pervazoid nickname.

[5:44] I don't know.

[5:45] 14-year-old girls are known for being pervs.

[5:47] So let's do the plot real quick because it's a stupid movie and the plot is terrible.

[5:51] Although it takes two hours.

[5:52] This is an hour and 54-minute movie.

[5:54] This is a two-hour-long podcast.

[5:55] This movie, first you're like, oh, okay, like a stupid Adam Sandler comedy.

[6:01] What's this going to be, 89 minutes?

[6:03] 62 minutes?

[6:04] No, 114 minutes.

[6:06] Wow, did Judd Apatow direct this?

[6:08] What's going on?

[6:09] Burn.

[6:10] Airplane airlines all over the place are angry that they can't show this movie on shorter flights.

[6:16] I mean, it's a hard R-rated movie.

[6:18] Yeah, but you can watch those in the back of your seat these days.

[6:21] You shouldn't be able to, though.

[6:22] What if a little kid is looking over your shoulder?

[6:24] I'm delighted that they're no longer editing things for content in airplanes.

[6:29] You're corrupting children who are on flights.

[6:31] Or am I like a fairy godparent who's allowing a young child their first taste of boobs?

[6:37] I mean, their second taste of boobs, technically.

[6:41] Speaking of giving an underage kid...

[6:42] You're the pervy godparent.

[6:45] Your pervy godfather, Dan McCoy, has decided to gift you with booze.

[6:49] You're the guy who accidentally leaves a Playboy magazine behind the seat.

[6:53] Accidentally on purpose.

[6:54] Yeah.

[6:55] I don't think that's an accident.

[6:56] Those people are like the Johnny Appleseed of porn.

[6:58] Yeah, Johnny Pornseed.

[7:00] They wore some kind of pot on their head.

[7:02] I guess in a lot of pictures, Johnny Appleseed does seem to be wearing a pot on his head.

[7:07] Keep the rain off his head, idiot.

[7:08] I mean, a hat does that.

[7:09] Idiot.

[7:10] Wow.

[7:10] Way to take down Johnny Appleseed.

[7:14] No, you're the one who's the idiot.

[7:15] Your lack of Johnny Epstein knowledge.

[7:17] So...

[7:19] You should have taught that in grade school.

[7:20] I want to keep hearing Stuart Wellington's roast of American folklore.

[7:23] Hey, Paul Bunyan, what's with the name on your ox, babe?

[7:26] Are you in love with her?

[7:27] Anywho.

[7:30] Peco Spill, what's...

[7:32] Yeah, why do you got to run around in that thing with the other thing?

[7:36] Peco Spill rode a horse named Widowmaker.

[7:38] Yeah.

[7:38] Another thing with another thing.

[7:41] All right.

[7:41] Okay, so the movie That's My Boy.

[7:43] We open in the year 1980, question mark.

[7:46] It's kind of like old 19th century novels where they say, oh, well, this happened in the year 18 dash because they don't want to tell you the year for whatever reason.

[7:56] That's the last point that this is in any way literary.

[8:00] Being a fan of the Adam Sandler canon, I'm assuming it happens concurrently with The Wedding Singer.

[8:04] I have to assume.

[8:05] I'm kind of surprised The Wedding Singer character didn't just walk through the background of one of the shots.

[8:11] So, we're in a middle school, I guess.

[8:14] There's three 13-year-old boys.

[8:15] One of them is young Adam Sandler, who looks to be maybe played by someone who's Puerto Rican.

[8:19] He looks very Latino for the young Adam Sandler.

[8:22] The listeners can check that.

[8:23] And he hits on his teacher, who's played by Susan Sramond's daughter.

[8:30] What's her name?

[8:30] Eva Amiri.

[8:31] Eva Amiri.

[8:32] Amiri.

[8:33] Yeah, you're saying it right.

[8:35] Amiri Baraka.

[8:35] Let's just say his teacher is played by Amiri Baraka.

[8:39] Okay.

[8:40] So he hits on her, and she says, that's going to give you detention.

[8:44] But then in detention, uh-oh, turns out she's totally into him, and they start having sex all over the place.

[8:49] Yep.

[8:50] This is a movie based on statutory rape, a goofy Adam Sandler comedy, and the inciting incident is statutory rape between the teacher and the kid.

[9:01] And it's taken for granted that this is the most amazing thing in the world.

[9:05] The teacher goes to jail, but the kid becomes super famous.

[9:09] His name is Donnie Berger, and he just becomes a superstar.

[9:12] He's on magazine covers.

[9:13] He's hanging out with famous stars.

[9:15] Now, I want to object to this, because there have been cases where teachers have had sex with their students before.

[9:21] And the students become super famous.

[9:22] They're not super famous.

[9:23] They're all over the place afterwards.

[9:25] Philip Seymour Hoffman.

[9:26] Yeah, Ashton Kutcher.

[9:28] I didn't realize that that's how they got their start.

[9:32] Yeah, James Polk.

[9:33] F. Murray Abraham.

[9:34] But I was saying that this is like happening.

[9:37] Dracula.

[9:39] This is happening in the same universe as Roadhouse, where there's such a thing as a famous bouncer.

[9:44] And in this world, there's a famous statutory rapee.

[9:49] There's a lot, yeah, there's this weird, you were saying, this weird genre of movie where people have become superstars for something that no one has ever become famous for doing, and that's one of them.

[9:59] It's kind of like, if you can imagine a movie about a famous hitman, which I assume exists somewhere, where it doesn't make any sense.

[10:07] There's no reason for that to happen.

[10:08] I guess famous bouncer in roadhouses.

[10:09] But he's famous among people who go to roadhouses.

[10:12] They're going to know who Dalton is.

[10:14] Which is most of the United States.

[10:16] And also he's famous for being the heir to the B. Dalton bookseller fortune.

[10:20] Oh, I didn't realize.

[10:20] And just giving up on that because of his love of bouncing.

[10:22] Yeah, he walked away.

[10:23] That's why he was so well-read.

[10:25] B stands for Bouncing Dalton.

[10:28] Booksellers.

[10:31] He founded that, became a wealthy bookstore owner, and then he got out at the height of the market.

[10:35] If he was still in bookstores, B. Dalton's out of business.

[10:38] He walked away.

[10:39] But meanwhile, Dalton –

[10:39] It had forgotten what it was really about, the bouncing.

[10:42] Dalton is having a great bouncing time.

[10:43] What should I do instead of this?

[10:46] Ah, I should look at my first name, Bouncing.

[10:48] Yeah, they named him after his grandfather, Jedediah Bouncing.

[10:52] Okay.

[10:53] The Adventure of Bouncing.

[10:55] So Adam Sandler's character, Donnie Burger, now it's the modern time, and he is at the bottom of the barrel.

[11:01] He's an alcoholic, basically.

[11:03] He's a total slimeball.

[11:05] And he's going to go to jail for tax evasion.

[11:07] And he owes a lot of taxes, as told to him by his accountant, played by Jets coach Rex Ryan.

[11:12] And the joke here is that he's a big fan of the Patriots in this movie.

[11:16] Wah-wah.

[11:17] I don't care.

[11:18] I don't like sports.

[11:19] Anyway, moving on.

[11:20] So Adam Sandler decides he's going to do the only thing he can think of to get this money.

[11:26] He's going to go back on TV, but TV only wants him if he can arrange a reunion with him, his estranged teacher lover, and his estranged son,

[11:35] who has changed his name in order to erase his burger heritage

[11:38] and is now a financially successful, uptight,

[11:43] you know, kind of stick-in-the-mud type guy.

[11:45] He's your Egon Spengler, but not a scientist, if you will.

[11:48] And without the great hair.

[11:50] Or wait, no, I'm thinking of the cartoon.

[11:52] He was blonde in the cartoon.

[11:54] Meanwhile, Adam Sandler, his boy, the titular boy,

[11:58] is about to get married to Leighton Meester.

[12:00] And he's played by Andy Samberg.

[12:01] Flophouse fave, Leighton Meester.

[12:03] Of The Roommate fame.

[12:04] And you know that she is going to turn out to be a bad choice for him because I guess she has some sense of propriety.

[12:12] She's wealthy?

[12:13] She's not like a drunk stripper who barfs all over the place.

[12:16] And it's funny because the movie is setting up a very specific character arc.

[12:20] Adam Sandler's character is a slimeball.

[12:22] His son has cut off all contact with him.

[12:25] He owes all this money to the government.

[12:26] It's clear he's going to have to win people's love back and get back in their good graces to earn his happiness.

[12:34] And to be fair, that is a small portion of the movie, but that's like the last 10 percent maybe.

[12:38] Until you get to the last like seven minutes of the movie, it is Adam Sandler walks into a room, does something terrible, and everybody loves it.

[12:46] Like he's everybody's hero.

[12:48] He's the most popular guy in the world.

[12:49] And that would work as a running joke if he wasn't like I guess the hero of the movie or even like if it hadn't been set up as Adam Sandler has to win back his son's love.

[12:59] If it was that a movie about two – like let's say it's a movie about two friends, one of whom is a good guy and the other is an asshole, and everybody loves the asshole, and the good guy can't catch a break.

[13:09] Like that's a comedy plot.

[13:11] But instead, they, like, go overboard in making people love Adam Sandler, and then they have to go overboard in making Andy Samberg and his fiancée uptight to justify this.

[13:20] So the movie is, like, lurching back and forth between what we're supposed to do.

[13:23] The movie becomes about how, like, a rock-bottom slimeball walks into the society wedding and teaches all the squares how to loosen up.

[13:31] And if he was, like, Groucho Marx, then yes.

[13:33] Rodney Dangerfield in them.

[13:34] I mean, what you're basically talking about is the plot of every Marx Brothers movie.

[13:38] Yeah, but those guys, like, Groucho Marx doesn't start out as a slimeball.

[13:41] He's just kind of like a –

[13:42] He's a total slimeball.

[13:42] He wants to marry a woman for her money.

[13:44] He's a dictator in one of them.

[13:46] He's a shyster lawyer.

[13:47] He's always cheating people.

[13:48] He's more of a charming con man type, I feel like.

[13:52] He's a slimeball.

[13:52] He's a rock-bottom slimeball.

[13:54] He never has a lot of money.

[13:55] Give Groucho Marx an earring and a denim vest.

[13:58] You got Adam Sandler in that.

[14:00] Chico, or as he would call him –

[14:01] No, no.

[14:01] You're ruining it.

[14:02] Chico is a flat-out thief, always conning people, stealing their money, lazy.

[14:08] It's pronounced Chico because he chased the chicks.

[14:10] If Harpo could talk, he'd be a total jerk.

[14:12] He's always running after girls, tearing their clothes off.

[14:15] He's a possible rapist.

[14:16] He's constantly stealing silverware.

[14:17] I mean, but the problem, I guess, is that those guys are really funny.

[14:21] And the people they're up against are so incredibly snooty.

[14:24] But Adam Sandler walks into, like, they have to keep upping the stakes of how shitty these rich people are.

[14:29] So that Adam Sandler doesn't come off as a monster.

[14:32] But anyway, he comes in and Andy Sandberg does not want to admit this is his father.

[14:38] So he says it's his best friend, Donnie.

[14:40] And Donnie makes up a story that he saved Andy Samberg's life.

[14:44] And this is one of the few funny running gags is he tells this story.

[14:47] The one thing that genuinely made me laugh.

[14:48] There are like six jokes that genuinely made us laugh in the movie.

[14:53] Usually about a foul-mouthed granny, right?

[14:55] No, they were not any of the foul-mouthed granny jokes.

[14:57] I'm surprised that foul-mouthed granny did not rap at any point.

[14:59] Because they did that in The Wedding Singer with a non-foul-mouthed granny.

[15:03] And Sam's like, I burned that material.

[15:04] That material was gold, but I can't use it again.

[15:06] And everyone saw it.

[15:07] He tells a story about how he saved...

[15:09] Walked away.

[15:10] He saved...

[15:11] Andy Samberg's character's name is Todd.

[15:13] He saved Todd's life by...

[15:15] Todd dropped a burrito on a train track

[15:17] and then went down to get it.

[15:18] And Adam Sandler saved him from getting hit by the train.

[15:21] And everyone instantly believes this story

[15:24] and has questions for Todd like,

[15:25] why would you do that?

[15:26] Wouldn't you just buy another burrito?

[15:28] Wouldn't the burrito be dirty?

[15:30] Why didn't you just buy another burrito?

[15:31] And that was the one funny running gag

[15:33] was that everyone instantly buys this story

[15:35] and has real questions for Todd about it.

[15:37] But otherwise, Donnie just does a lot of, like,

[15:40] he'll walk into a room and say,

[15:41] what's up, and everyone loves it.

[15:43] And he's like, hey, let's all go play baseball.

[15:46] And they spend, like, 17 days playing baseball,

[15:49] just him shagging balls out to people in the outfield.

[15:51] Well, and he shows them how to have a real bachelor party,

[15:53] not the one that was planned where they'll go to a man's spa,

[15:56] but one where they go out.

[15:57] Which did look like a boring bachelor party.

[15:59] Yeah, sure.

[16:00] But instead, they go to, like, his favorite, you know,

[16:03] Dive strip club, and they just – it's one of these movies where –

[16:08] And wrap up at about 10 p.m., I guess.

[16:11] We should talk about that.

[16:12] What's amazing – let's pause for that because they go to a spa.

[16:16] They're there for at least, let's say, 40 minutes.

[16:19] At least.

[16:19] Minimum.

[16:20] It seems like two hours probably.

[16:22] It seems like a long time, and then Donnie goes, let me show you a real strip club.

[16:25] A real bachelor party.

[16:27] They go to the strip club.

[16:27] There's a long montage of them being there.

[16:29] And it's dark when they get there.

[16:30] And it's dark outside.

[16:31] They're doing shot after shot of tequila.

[16:33] People are getting up on the stage and dancing with the strippers.

[16:36] And it's not like you can just do that right away.

[16:37] You've got to earn the trust of the place over the course of at least an hour before they'll let you get on stage.

[16:42] They're drinking.

[16:43] They get so drunk that they're cheating on their wives.

[16:45] Nick Swardson is gallivanting around.

[16:47] Nick Swardson is in this, too, playing, as Stuart pointed out, basically just a more retarded version of Bill Murray's character from Caddyshack.

[16:53] And by the end, he's just dressed like Bill Murray's character from Caddyshack, complete with army helmet and everything.

[17:00] It's an homage.

[17:01] It's one of those characters, like, I kind of feel like maybe he's, like, Harvey in Harvey.

[17:04] Like, only Adam Sandler can see Nick Swartzen.

[17:07] Except that one of the other characters punches him.

[17:09] Yeah.

[17:10] In many ways, I wish I could not see Nick Swartzen.

[17:14] So they go to the bachelor party.

[17:18] They're there for, let's say, minimum estimate, two hours.

[17:21] Yeah.

[17:21] Then they're like, hey, this party's not over yet.

[17:23] It really feels like four, though.

[17:25] Yeah, it feels like four hours.

[17:26] Then they go, do they go bowling next?

[17:28] Is that it?

[17:29] They go to a skating rink.

[17:30] Oh, they go to a skating rink where children are skating.

[17:33] And they're there for, let's say, 35 minutes.

[17:35] But at this point...

[17:36] And who would let their child ice skate around Vanilla Ice and Todd Bridges?

[17:39] Oh, yeah.

[17:40] Vanilla Ice came with them.

[17:41] That's true.

[17:41] And they're there...

[17:42] So, like, are they at...

[17:44] Is this an all-night, 3 a.m. ice skating rink?

[17:46] And then they go candlepin bowling.

[17:47] Then they go candlepin bowling.

[17:48] Because did we mention it's Boston?

[17:49] Hey, they're in Boston.

[17:50] So Adam Sandler has a terrible Boston accent with his little Nicky voice rasp.

[17:54] And it's a terrible voice.

[17:56] And it's bad enough that every other movie and television show is apparently set in Boston,

[18:00] and we have to hear Boston accents all the time.

[18:03] It's a controversial statement.

[18:04] The entire town of Boston is going to come get you.

[18:08] And as I'm led to believe, they are a pugnacious bunch.

[18:11] They are pugnacious, and I'm going there in a couple weeks, so I'll be in trouble.

[18:14] But it's not even that.

[18:15] It's the same way that if every cop thriller, buddy comedy, family drama was set in Oxford, Mississippi,

[18:25] I'd get tired of that accent.

[18:26] If they were all set in, like, Juneau, Alaska.

[18:30] Oxford, Mississippi sounds like a very studious part of Mississippi.

[18:32] Yeah, if they were all set in Juneau, Alaska, I'd get tired of the Alaskan accent.

[18:35] If they were all set in Beverly Hills, I'd get tired of that, etc.

[18:37] I'm just tired of the Boston accent.

[18:39] What if they were at Beverly Hills Chihuahua?

[18:40] Now you're talking.

[18:41] Okay.

[18:42] But the point is, they go to these family places that, you know, like...

[18:47] It's the middle of the night.

[18:48] It's got to be 3 or 4 a.m.

[18:50] This is after their debauchery of the strip club.

[18:53] It's painting a grim picture of Boston nightlife.

[18:56] well what his painting is children running wild ice skating at two in the morning the only other

[19:02] explanation is that in boston the sun has been extinguished there's some curse put on the place

[19:08] has come by with this sun blocking machine just like that couple of episodes when married with

[19:12] children went to england because there was that village where this they had been cursed to never

[19:16] see the sun boston has apparently been cursed by one of ed o'neill's ancestors to never have

[19:22] sunlight so they go to strip club at let's say 11 a.m and they go ice skating at like lunchtime

[19:28] yeah i'm amazed i remember the storyline for when mary with children went to went to london

[19:34] what a dumb thing to remember so anyway but that's the bachelor party and they're you know what

[19:40] adam sandler and his son are really by the way this is like an hour and 30 minutes into the

[19:45] movie that we just went through there's very little plot adam sandler has sex with an old lady

[19:49] There's a lot of that kind of stuff

[19:51] They make up, you know what, the relationship is coming together

[19:54] And Andy Strindberg says, you know what

[19:55] I will go to jail and visit my mom

[19:57] Because the mom, the teacher, is still in jail

[19:59] And Adam Sandler suddenly realizes, oh no

[20:01] I can't use him like this

[20:02] I arranged with the TV crew, he's going to hate me

[20:05] And you know what, that's unfair to him, he's my son

[20:07] So he says, don't go, don't go

[20:08] And he goes, no, I will go, I will go

[20:10] And he goes, and the TV crew ambushes him

[20:12] So that moment of character growth

[20:14] Might be ignored by the audience

[20:18] when they see Vanilla Ice urinating on himself like a fountain.

[20:21] And saying, I'm a fountain.

[20:22] This is also after two fat people in their underpants

[20:27] have chased Andy Samberg around the darkened streets of Boston.

[20:30] Looking like they're having a lot of fun.

[20:32] Because he rode his bike into their car while they were having sex in it.

[20:36] Which I want to hope is an homage to Tango and Cash.

[20:39] And the scene where their car chase interrupts a couple having sex in the car.

[20:43] And then a Russian guy comes out and says,

[20:45] Hey, I believe in perestroika!

[20:48] Which has no connection to anything.

[20:49] Because it's from the 80s.

[20:50] Yeah.

[20:51] It's a thing that happened.

[20:51] I think that was 1990.

[20:52] So there's been a lot of goofy jokes that we skipped over.

[20:57] We haven't mentioned any about – we haven't – oh, and we should mention that Andy Sandberg's

[21:04] fiancé is – his fiancé has a brother who's a Marine and does a lot of like threatening

[21:08] Andy Sandberg and wrestling him.

[21:10] And Adam Sandler introduces his superpower, which is that he can knock anyone out by hitting

[21:15] them in the back of the head with a bottle.

[21:17] Yeah, he's always got a beer on him.

[21:19] The Marine is trying to beat up Andy Samberg,

[21:21] and he hits him with the bottle.

[21:22] For some reason, Andy Samberg gets in a fistfight

[21:25] with a priest played by James Caan,

[21:27] and Adam Sandler hits him in the back of the head with a bottle.

[21:29] James Caan with an amazing Irish accent.

[21:32] It's kind of, you're watching it,

[21:34] and you just wonder why James Caan is in it,

[21:36] but I think maybe he thought this,

[21:37] he didn't know who Adam Sandler was,

[21:39] he thought this was the next bottle rocket.

[21:40] Or as you said.

[21:41] He gave a little bit of help to a young man

[21:44] named Wes Anderson and the Wilson brothers.

[21:46] Maybe he'll help out this Adam Sandler and this Andrew Sandberger.

[21:49] Or, as you said in the Total Recall episode, when I was amazed that Bill Nighy was in the movie,

[21:55] they probably got him to be in the movie by paying him money.

[21:57] I think that was probably it.

[21:59] They said, James Caan, would you like money to buy things?

[22:01] And he said, I would like that.

[22:03] Tell me what I would have to do to do it.

[22:04] Will you shoot two scenes in the Adam Sandler movie?

[22:07] He said, will this take less than 72 hours?

[22:09] Yes, it will, James Caan.

[22:11] Okay, then I will.

[22:12] How much money are you paying me?

[22:14] What does it take?

[22:16] On Martha's Vineyard? Sounds good.

[22:18] It's the same way that they got Tony Orlando in this movie.

[22:20] See, who needs an agent in this day and age?

[22:22] You just do it yourself.

[22:23] You just call them up and you offer them the money.

[22:24] Hey, we're all freelance entrepreneurs.

[22:27] We're selling our brand.

[22:28] That's the 21st century.

[22:30] You don't have a career, you're a brand.

[22:31] You gotta push it.

[22:32] And James Caan is pushing the James Caan brands

[22:34] to get all these juicy Batlin Priest roles.

[22:38] When they do a remake of The Fighting 69th with Jimmy Cagney,

[22:42] James Caan will be ready for it.

[22:45] So what are we up to?

[22:46] I don't even remember.

[22:47] So he goes to the prison.

[22:49] Oh, they're reconnecting.

[22:50] He goes to the prison.

[22:51] The TV crew ambushes him, and he says, you used me.

[22:54] And Adam Sandler says, no, it wasn't like that.

[22:56] It wasn't like that.

[22:57] Andy Samberg and Adam Sandler get into an argument.

[22:59] It's that moment where the two characters who have become friends part ways until they reconnect.

[23:05] This moment was most hit home for me when I saw the movie Shrek, and Shrek and the donkey had an argument and walked away from each other.

[23:12] It was like, that was totally unnecessary.

[23:14] It's just because the plot needs them to do that right now.

[23:16] Yeah.

[23:17] You were saying?

[23:18] No, I just want to backtrack a moment and say that.

[23:20] No filler in Shrek.

[23:21] No, the running around for no reason scene set to my reputation, totally not filler.

[23:29] I just wanted to point out that, as you may have guessed, the older Eva Amuri was played by real-life Eva Amuri mother, Susan Sarandon.

[23:39] Yeah, because that's probably how she's going to age, right?

[23:42] I look exactly like my dad looked at 31.

[23:45] I assume Dan looks like his dad at 57?

[23:49] How old are you?

[23:49] I am 34.

[23:52] Stuart is eternally youthful,

[23:54] and they broke the mold when they created Stuart,

[23:56] so he looks like nobody except maybe Seth Rogen a little bit.

[23:58] I quaff human pineal gland fluid like the leech woman every day.

[24:03] You bathe in the blood of virgins.

[24:04] Yeah, like Lady Bathory.

[24:08] Do you think that because she was named Lady Bathory, she thought to herself, I've got to have some sort of bath-related shtick.

[24:15] I've got to figure this out.

[24:16] That was probably it, yeah.

[24:17] Just like Bouncer Dalton.

[24:18] I mean, she lived in a country that spoke English, so she didn't, though.

[24:22] All right.

[24:23] Maybe she did.

[24:26] I don't think so, though.

[24:26] I mean, blood's pretty easy to come across, right?

[24:28] Sure.

[24:28] Like, water would be boring.

[24:30] Especially back then.

[24:30] Yeah.

[24:31] Well, you always say, I want to get out of a bath feeling stickier than when I walked into it.

[24:35] And that's what a bloodbath does for you.

[24:37] You get nice and sticky and crusty.

[24:39] Then you just sell that shit to Dracula.

[24:41] Boom.

[24:42] Yeah, you're making money left and right.

[24:45] I got clean and paid.

[24:47] Thanks, Easy Pawn.

[24:48] And I got my bracelet back.

[24:51] The joke for anyone who rides the subway in New York,

[24:54] seize the Easy Pawn ads.

[24:55] So what are we...

[24:58] Oh, so anyway, where were we?

[25:00] Oh, they break up.

[25:03] They're estranged.

[25:04] They're estranged from each other again.

[25:06] I think that's when the soundtrack goes from Van Halen to The Replacements.

[25:09] Yeah, there's a lot of 80s hits in the movie.

[25:13] The soundtrack's a pretty good soundtrack, I'll say that.

[25:15] They play 15 seconds worth of Whiplash by Metallica, so that was okay with me.

[25:19] They play most of Limelight, right?

[25:23] Or is it just called Limelight?

[25:24] Limelight.

[25:24] Look, I'm not a Rush fan.

[25:25] Okay.

[25:26] And, hey, wait, is Hot for Teacher in this movie?

[25:29] I don't think it is, which is weird.

[25:31] Strange.

[25:32] Since the movie was based on that song.

[25:34] But anyway, oh, I was going to say that Susan Sarandon now kind of has the lock on playing the older versions of teachers who had sex with their students.

[25:44] And she did it in 30 Rock, too.

[25:46] Oh, yeah?

[25:46] Where she was Judah Friedlander's former teacher who got out of jail and reconnected with him.

[25:50] That's right.

[25:50] Because they had sex when he was a student.

[25:52] So I guess this is how she wants her career to go.

[25:54] I think it's just like Hollywood needs to find another sexy older lady.

[25:58] Helen Mirren, I guess.

[25:59] Yeah.

[26:00] But, I mean, Susan Sarandon has aged extremely well.

[26:02] She's a beautiful woman.

[26:03] I mean, there's websites devoted to just that thing, man.

[26:06] There are hardworking MILF hunters tracking these MILFs down,

[26:09] tagging them and releasing them into the wild so we can track their migration patterns.

[26:13] Yeah, they tag them, toss them in their bang bus.

[26:15] The problem really is unlicensed MILF hunters who hunt looking for bushmeat to feed their tribes.

[26:23] And MILF numbers are at a drastic low.

[26:26] They claim that they need to thin the MILF for the good of the herd, but that is wrong.

[26:30] Yeah, and the HWCS, the Hot Wife Conservation Society,

[26:33] asked for your donations so that they need guards, they need fences.

[26:39] These refuges for MILFs are being devastated.

[26:42] Basically malls in Georgia.

[26:46] Cash crop farming and beef grazing has caused them to cut down the rainforests,

[26:51] which are the MILFs' natural habitat.

[26:52] The destruction of the wetlands? Ugh, MILFs.

[26:55] Many MILFs have successfully adapted to living in the suburbs, but not enough.

[27:00] But the point is...

[27:00] Please, won't you?

[27:01] Be aware of the problem.

[27:02] The point is that...

[27:04] Cute Sarah McLachlan song.

[27:05] In the arms of a mother.

[27:08] Adam Sandler needs to figure out a way to regain his son's trust.

[27:12] I can't believe we're still talking about this movie.

[27:13] Yeah, well, we'll finish up.

[27:14] And he comes in.

[27:15] What he does is he overhears his son's fiancée talking to someone on the phone.

[27:20] He thinks she's cheating on him.

[27:21] He confronts her at the rehearsal dinner.

[27:23] She says it was something else entirely.

[27:25] Now he looks like even more of a jerk.

[27:27] He decides he's going to make it up to her and win her over by bringing her ice cream.

[27:32] So he just brings two ice cream cones, vanilla too, they're just ice cream, to her hotel.

[27:37] The ice cream doesn't melt at all, so Stuart, I think it was, who pointed out that it was probably just mashed potatoes.

[27:42] How long must he have been walking with that ice cream?

[27:45] From the ice cream place to the hotel, then up to the room.

[27:48] He goes up to the room and he overhears her through the door having sex with somebody.

[27:52] What? It can't be his son because his son is over at home.

[27:55] He sneaks in by walking across a ledge and finds out, and this is where the movie really, I feel like, wins over the audience.

[28:03] If you were on the fence about That's My Boy, you thought it was maybe a little too crass.

[28:07] Then the scene where Adam Sandler walks in on—

[28:09] This is the point where you've gotten up out of your chair, walked about ten steps toward the exit, and then you look over your shoulder.

[28:14] And you say, all right, That's My Boy, you got one less chance.

[28:17] Turns out Andy Samberg's fiancée is having an affair with her brother.

[28:21] Yeah, gross.

[28:23] She is routinely having sex with her brother.

[28:25] This is when you go, you shake your head and go, not this time, that's my boy.

[28:28] And you walk out the door, slam it shut behind you.

[28:32] I thought that was when you said, god damn, that's my boy, you magnificent bastard.

[28:36] You've done it again.

[28:37] I don't, nope.

[28:38] Bravo.

[28:38] And you slow clap the incest third act reveal.

[28:42] I don't think so.

[28:43] He might not like it, but he respects where the movie went.

[28:46] I don't like you, but I respect you.

[28:50] No, wait, I don't respect you.

[28:52] I don't like you and I don't respect you.

[28:54] So Adam Sandler comes back to the wedding.

[28:56] He tries to get there for some—oh, she gives him a $50,000 check to stay quiet.

[29:01] But then he says, no, I can't do it.

[29:03] Even though this is going to keep me out of jail, it's the money I need to pay my back taxes that I owe.

[29:07] I'm going to be good by my son.

[29:09] He goes to the wedding with Vanilla Ice in tow.

[29:12] Their car hits, like, sand or something.

[29:15] They get stuck in the desert.

[29:16] They have to get out and run the last mile.

[29:18] They're on a beach.

[29:18] They get thrown on a beach.

[29:20] They get to the wedding, and they reveal all, and they save the day, and Annie Sandberg...

[29:26] And everyone shames Leighton Meester.

[29:28] Everyone, like, you start to kind of feel bad for them.

[29:32] Yeah, I mean, she is having sex with her brother, but, like, everyone turns on them so quickly.

[29:36] And this is a movie that has championed statutory rape, so consensual incest is a weird thing to hold the line at.

[29:42] Like, wait a minute.

[29:44] It's okay for a grown-up to have sex with a child.

[29:46] It is not okay for two adults to have sex with each other if they're related.

[29:50] It's probably a deep psychological problem.

[29:52] Just to be clear, I don't think either of those things is okay.

[29:54] No, you're endorsing both of them, right?

[29:55] I'm not endorsing either of them, but it seems weird for the movie to come down on the side

[30:00] of the one that could cause emotional trauma and damage, whereas the other one is...

[30:05] Probably the cause of emotional problems.

[30:06] It's ruined two lives.

[30:07] I mean, like, Adam Sandler's never gotten over it, and Andy Samberg had a horrible childhood

[30:13] because of it.

[30:14] It's also implied that Andy Samberg and Adam Sandler are both math geniuses.

[30:17] You know, a thing that you'd think this would in some way help them solve the problem of being, of owing money or whatever.

[30:25] But no, it's just a thing that they have, that they're math geniuses and can calculate any number in their heads.

[30:29] Part of why the teacher was attracted to him.

[30:32] Was his ability at math.

[30:33] Innately sensed that in him.

[30:35] Well, she's like the Professor X of statutory rape.

[30:38] She saw the special gift hidden inside this child.

[30:40] She said, I'm going to fuck that out of him.

[30:43] I guess so.

[30:44] Instead of taking her to...

[30:45] She was also bald.

[30:47] And she was in a floating gold wheelchair, a hover chair.

[30:51] She was also friends with Magneto before falling out.

[30:54] But so, you know, everything has been fixed between them now, I guess.

[30:59] Their relationship is great.

[31:00] Adam Sandler is going to find new love with a bartender at the strip club.

[31:03] Oh, you mean Andy Samberg is.

[31:05] Oh, yeah, Andy Samberg is going to find new love with a bartender at the strip club.

[31:07] And Adam Sandler says, you know what?

[31:10] I will go to jail.

[31:11] I'll be out in three years.

[31:12] That's when Susan Saranian is going to get out of jail, and we can reconnect.

[31:14] And there was something about that moment that I was like, well, at least they're treating it like a real – like they're going to try to build a relationship.

[31:21] But then, uh-oh, we forgot to mention that in the first three – no, the first ten minutes of the movie.

[31:26] One of the other few good jokes in the movie.

[31:28] Adam Sandler has decided to bet some money, bet $100.

[31:31] $20.

[31:32] No, bet $20 on a fat guy to win the Boston Marathon at 8,001 odds in the last two minutes of the movie.

[31:39] That might solve his $50,000 problem.

[31:42] With a lot left over to spare.

[31:44] And the last five minutes of the movie, on television, they realize the fat guy is winning the marathon, and they watch him struggle to the finish line and beat all the Ethiopian runners.

[31:54] For good fun, yes.

[31:55] This fat guy comes back in a fat ex machina to solve all of the problems.

[32:00] Yeah, and they win, and now he's got the money to stay out of jail.

[32:05] Consequences averted.

[32:07] And it hints at a much better movie about Adam Sandler coaching a fat guy to get him to win the Boston Marathon, but that didn't happen.

[32:14] You know, I love movies where the entirety of the movie...

[32:18] Okay, you're right.

[32:19] I like it when a movie seems like the entire movie is just built around one final joke.

[32:25] Lost Boys, Cabin Fever, etc.

[32:27] Ministry of Fear.

[32:29] But in this case, it feels like they had the joke, and then they're like, let's milk it for another five, ten minutes here.

[32:36] Yeah, they really...

[32:37] Like Dan mentioned, they should have just had someone walk in with a big check and be like, hey, that fat guy won.

[32:42] We did it.

[32:43] Because then, like, it becomes a joke about how throwaway that was.

[32:46] Like, we've just, like, we have just fucked you, movie watcher, by revealing how arbitrary anything that happens in this movie is.

[32:54] And then that's funny.

[32:55] But instead, they turn it into a, like, is he going to make it?

[33:00] Is he going to finish the race?

[33:01] About a character who's been, we've literally only seen a still photo of one time earlier in the movie.

[33:06] We have no emotional feeling for this guy.

[33:09] I expected Chariots of Fire to start playing.

[33:11] I bet they spent so much money on the other music rights for this movie

[33:15] that they couldn't afford that.

[33:16] You couldn't toss the money to Vangelis?

[33:18] According to Wikipedia, the budget of this movie was $70 million,

[33:21] which is amazing.

[33:23] Wasn't there a thing online about people theorizing that Adam Sandler movies

[33:27] are some sort of money laundering operation or a tax shelter?

[33:30] I've heard that about The Room, maybe tax shelter.

[33:32] I mean, Adam Sandler's movies, for the most part,

[33:34] seem to be based around where he can vacation during the shooting of the movie,

[33:38] like Hawaii and just go with it, a cruise ship in Jack and Jill,

[33:41] just wherever they went in Grown Ups.

[33:43] Well, that was like Jack and Jill was like a 70 million dollar proposition,

[33:48] but that movie had so much product placement in it,

[33:51] like the whole thing turned on a Dunkin' Donuts advertisement.

[33:54] Well, but also that's a movie that you have to do,

[33:56] at least there's special effects in that movie for scenes that...

[33:59] Yeah, fat suit.

[33:59] No, no, but Adam Sandler has planned scenes with himself.

[34:01] Are you saying the effect wasn't that special?

[34:03] I've seen special.

[34:05] The effects were far from special.

[34:06] And the metography was far from Sina.

[34:11] It's Gene Shalit.

[34:11] The writing was far from screen.

[34:14] What?

[34:15] And the ography was far from Corey.

[34:17] I'm Gene Shalit from Beyond the Grave.

[34:23] Is he still alive?

[34:25] Well, wherever you are, I hope you're doing great, Gene.

[34:27] But this is one of those movies that is like you could almost be okay with it if it was like just a vulgar throwaway comedy.

[34:37] There are a couple funny jokes in it over a two-hour running time, but it's mostly super unfunny and super gross.

[34:45] But then there are those moments where you're supposed to feel for the characters, and it's like, no, movie, you haven't earned that.

[34:51] No, movie, this isn't the type of movie you are.

[34:53] You forgot which movie you are.

[34:54] Maybe the producers can do that, but the producers is a far better movie.

[35:00] Be kind of a vulgar comedy where you feel for the characters a little bit.

[35:03] But the producers never gets as mawkish as this.

[35:06] I mean, the fact that there's a father-son relationship.

[35:07] It doesn't get as mockish or as vulgar, for that matter.

[35:09] It just, like...

[35:11] Does the producers feature a character who can whip out a bottle of beer from any part of his body at any point?

[35:18] No, but one of the heroes...

[35:19] And then has sex with a granny.

[35:20] But one of the heroes is a slimeball who has sex with grannies.

[35:23] Okay, see?

[35:24] Zero Mostel.

[35:25] So, basically, what I'm saying is...

[35:27] The late, great Zero Mostel.

[35:28] The producers meets the Marx Brothers is...

[35:31] No, no, no!

[35:31] That's my boy.

[35:32] You've ruined everything that I hold dear.

[35:35] It's like Groucho plus Mel Brooks.

[35:37] My heart is hurting.

[35:39] Adam Sandler is.

[35:40] If Groucho Marx and Zero Mostel had a child, he'd be Adam Sandler.

[35:45] He'd be their boy.

[35:46] Says Dan McCoy of Dan McCoy's movie review.

[35:48] I never say this.

[35:49] These are all things you say.

[35:51] Also, the phrase, that's my boy, is in the movie a couple times.

[35:54] Which is just stupid.

[35:56] The only way that, I wish they'd put a counter up in the corner of the screen every time the phrase, that's my boy, was said.

[36:03] That would be amazing.

[36:04] What I guess I'm saying is I wish this movie was either sillier and dumber or was an actual movie about a father and a son trying to connect.

[36:12] And longer, right?

[36:13] You said you'd like it to be longer?

[36:14] I thought at an hour and 54 minutes, they'd only scraped the surface of what was hidden here.

[36:19] I wish this was like –

[36:20] The clock or like –

[36:22] Or Berlin Alexanderplatz.

[36:23] Sure.

[36:23] Give me – I want to spend a full day without sleeping watching this.

[36:27] Well, that brings us, I think, into our next segment, which is final judgments on this movie.

[36:32] Final judgments.

[36:33] judgmentals finale

[36:35] now the old

[36:36] final judgments theme

[36:37] we haven't read it all

[36:38] is playing at

[36:39] right now

[36:41] Dan's house

[36:42] in your ears

[36:43] so is this a

[36:44] showtime

[36:45] now

[36:46] where we answer the question

[36:49] is this a good bad movie

[36:50] a bad bad movie

[36:51] or a movie we kind of liked

[36:52] Stuart what do you have to say about that

[36:54] this was a

[36:55] movie I

[36:57] thought was a bad bad movie

[36:59] I tricked you there

[37:00] nope

[37:00] I don't think anyone

[37:02] No, it's too long.

[37:03] It's not even funny enough.

[37:07] And it's a movie where the model relationship in the movie is between a teacher and her student.

[37:13] Like the model romantic relationship.

[37:16] But if the movie had had, like there could be a really good movie about that.

[37:22] Yeah.

[37:22] There may be, and I'm just not thinking about the moment, but this is not it.

[37:25] It needs to be more courageous and really like pushing the offensive stuff.

[37:29] There were a lot of scenes in this movie where, like, if John Waters had done them, he may have pulled them off because, like, he would have gone super far and he would have not been, I don't know, he would have been, like, shocking you but never being like, eh, get it, get it, get it, eh, shocking, right?

[37:46] If you're going to go far with a movie, you have to go all the way.

[37:48] And to have that weird moral turn where it's like, rape, yes, incest, no, Adam Sandler says, that's where the line gets drawn.

[37:55] Like, unless the joke is that how hypocritical this slime ball is, but it's not.

[37:59] And it's just another twist on, like, the stuck-up girlfriend or stuck-up wife character.

[38:05] Yeah.

[38:06] Like, having something wrong with her.

[38:07] If you don't.

[38:08] Having something, like, secret that's like, oh, you're gross.

[38:10] Well, because, like, in a lot of these movies, it's like, if the girl doesn't like her husband being a bro, that's her problem, which is horrible.

[38:17] But this one, it's not even being a bro.

[38:19] Being a bro is horrible?

[38:21] Basically.

[38:22] Oh, okay.

[38:22] But in this one, it's not even that she, like, the behavior that is acceptable for the movie is so outlandish that she has to be equally outlandishly uptight and have this crazy skeleton in her closet.

[38:33] Yeah, I haven't noticed that necessarily, but you're right.

[38:36] There is, like, this weird, like, streak of misogyny in these type of movies where, like, the uptight girl who, like, seems like she's actually just rational, like, they have to be like, no, she's evil.

[38:45] Yeah, there needs to be something that's...

[38:47] And we're going to make her lick still wet jism off of her wedding dress.

[38:50] Oh, I forgot about that part.

[38:51] Well, okay, when there's that, she has a $12,000 wedding dress, and Andy Samberg, after a night of debauchery, it doesn't look like it's worth $12,000, he vomits and ejaculates on it, off camera, thankfully, and the next morning she goes, oh, you threw up on my dress, and there's something else sticky on it.

[39:08] Still sticky.

[39:09] Smells it, and then...

[39:11] Touches it, smells it.

[39:12] Licks it, oh, it's jizz.

[39:14] It's like, one, how did she not realize until that moment what it was?

[39:18] But also, why do you have to make...

[39:20] She thought he had been making a sandwich with mayonnaise or something, and then he vomited.

[39:25] It makes a lot of sense.

[39:26] Why do you make the female lead of your movie lick the jizz off a vomit-encrusted dress?

[39:31] Like, again, maybe John Waters could have done it because in his movie she would have enjoyed it.

[39:35] But in this, it's a demeaning thing.

[39:38] And these movies are totally like, I mean, the undercurrent of all of them is demeaning women.

[39:41] There's a minor undercurrent in this about demeaning other ethnic groups.

[39:45] There's like the goofy Asian butler who hates his white bosses and the goofy black African priest who shows up at the end.

[39:53] Tony Orlando is white?

[39:53] Yes.

[39:55] His last name is Orlando.

[39:56] And at the end, they make a big thing out of the fat guy beating Ethiopian runners in a race.

[40:03] I know Ethiopians win a lot of races.

[40:04] But they're going like, yeah, you beat those Ethiopians.

[40:08] Like it's this weird undercurrent of racism.

[40:11] What they're saying.

[40:12] But it's like not just a gross, vulgar comedy.

[40:15] It's a gross, vulgar comedy that hates women unless they are strippers who love to get drunk and hates anyone who's not white, basically, unless you're a stripper who loves to get drunk.

[40:24] So that's a good, good movie.

[40:27] I'm saying run, don't walk to your television.

[40:31] I'm saying it was a very bad movie.

[40:33] I'll say it's a bad, bad movie that, like, every 18 minutes showed me a flash of a movie I would embarrassingly kind of like, but there were not enough of those flashes to make it.

[40:43] A lot of funny people apparently did script rewrites on this, uncredited, and you can tell because there's, like, a joke here or there that's totally unrelated to the rest of the movie that's funny.

[40:53] Like, maybe once every 18 minutes, yeah, but the underpinnings of the movie is bad, and it's, like, it's just not funny.

[41:01] What are you going to do?

[41:02] hey, maybe I don't like comedy, but I didn't find this one funny.

[41:05] Well, that's the other thing.

[41:06] Except that it was like the producers meets the Marx Brothers.

[41:08] I got to say that as someone who is involved in the comedy world,

[41:14] it always brings me no joy to make fun of a comedy.

[41:18] No, because you want to laugh.

[41:19] Yeah.

[41:20] And watching a bad comedy is a less pleasant experience

[41:23] than watching a bad drama.

[41:24] We always want to see funny things.

[41:26] I'm an accredited comedian here, guys.

[41:29] And I think I agree with you.

[41:31] Finish saying what you were saying before I interrupted you.

[41:33] Quote, equally funny, quote, quote, comedian, quote, Stuart Wellington.

[41:36] No, I just want to say that, like, most of the people involved in this movie have done, like, funny things in the past, and I hope that they do funny things in the future, but it just didn't work for me.

[41:48] I mean, I thought Adam Sandler was as funny as anybody when I was, like, 13 years old, but I think even the 13-year-old me watching this movie would not have enjoyed it, you know?

[41:58] All funny people make missteps, Dan.

[42:00] Speaking of entertainment, we've got...

[42:01] It's just unfortunate they caught this on camera and then sold it as a movie.

[42:05] Caught it on camera?

[42:06] So you think this was something they just did for fun in their spare time?

[42:08] Yeah, it's found footage, right?

[42:09] Yeah, exactly, yeah.

[42:10] Before we get on to that...

[42:11] Oh, so I'm going to say bad, bad movie, officially.

[42:12] Before we get on to the next segment, I do want to briefly say something about...

[42:16] You mean before we get on to the next segment?

[42:17] The Entertainment Weekly blurb.

[42:19] I realize that it said that this podcast comes out weekly in Entertainment Weekly.

[42:25] They must have gotten us confused with their own entertainment periodical.

[42:28] which has weekly in the title.

[42:29] For new listeners, this is actually a bi-monthly podcast,

[42:32] and I have to say that that was my own fault,

[42:34] that they sent something to me for fact-checking,

[42:37] but in most of the cases, they broke it down like one fact per question,

[42:41] and then in one of the questions, it was like,

[42:43] is it fair to say that every week, three comedians break apart a bad movie?

[42:48] And I focused on the description of the podcast rather than the every week part,

[42:53] so that was on me, but this is actually a bi-monthly podcast.

[42:57] We do it roughly once every two weeks.

[42:59] Actually, we've been keeping a schedule really nicely.

[43:02] There were years when we would do it very infrequently compared to now, but we've kept to a good schedule.

[43:08] We've slowly become more professional over time.

[43:10] And frankly, with all those podcasts out there to listen to, isn't it a relief to have one that doesn't come out once a week or multiple times a week?

[43:17] Make it a treat when it comes out.

[43:18] Yeah, you know what?

[43:19] Let's make them wait for it.

[43:20] Make them beg for it.

[43:21] Crack open that microwave, throw in some Go-Gurt.

[43:25] Why would you put Go-Gurt in a suicide sandwich?

[43:27] No.

[43:28] So the plan is to have the Go-Gurt explode onto the suicide sandwich?

[43:31] Stuart Wellington's classic suicide sandwich with Go-Gurt-splosion sidecar.

[43:38] Before we also get on to the letter segment.

[43:41] You mean get on to the letter segment.

[43:43] I also wanted to throw in a quick plug to our friends over at the Bonnie and Maude podcast.

[43:49] Yeah.

[43:49] One half of whom is Ksenia Yaroche, who is part of I Love Bad Movies, that sponsors our live movie, Bad Movie Night shows.

[43:58] Next one, June 8th.

[44:00] Yeah.

[44:00] So if you want to listen to a serious podcast about movies.

[44:04] It is also funny at times, but it is a serious discussion of movies.

[44:08] Not always bad.

[44:09] Then Bonnie and Maude is a very good one.

[44:11] Yeah.

[44:12] With a slight women's bent, I would say.

[44:15] Yes, yes.

[44:16] And there are not a lot of podcasts about film that feature female hosts.

[44:20] I mean, there may be.

[44:21] Just a bunch of loud jerks yakking about boobs.

[44:24] Yes, that's us.

[44:24] High five.

[44:25] And our friends over at All Things Comedy, home of comedy and podcasts.

[44:31] We're also part of the All Things Comedy Network.

[44:33] If you're just picking up this podcast off the Entertainment Weekly recommendation, take a spin over to allthingscomedy.com and take a look at the other podcasts.

[44:40] A lot of great ones that you'll enjoy.

[44:42] But you'll enjoy ours the most.

[44:46] It's time to answer some of your letters

[44:48] From the Flophouse Movie Mailbag

[44:50] Special song for the Flophouse Movie Mailbag

[44:54] Post-entertainment weekly blurb song

[44:57] If you're just coming to the show new

[45:00] If you're a new listener, listen up now

[45:03] Because I do songs before the letters

[45:05] Sometimes they're long, sometimes they're better

[45:08] But they're songs for the letters

[45:10] Letters for the Flophouse from you

[45:12] Maybe if you sent one after you read about

[45:15] entertainment weekly thing about us thank you entertainment weekly for see the entire listener

[45:22] bump that we got from being featured in a national magazine has now been erased what about the big

[45:27] finish for my song no i was gonna scat for five minutes uh your song was black letter time so

[45:36] this letter is titled future mr skin competitor sites from matthew last name withheld lesko he

[45:43] He says, Matthew Lesko.

[45:45] It's got to be.

[45:45] Hello, flopperinos.

[45:46] I know that Dan has a very entrenched relationship with the fine folks over at Mr. Skin.

[45:50] Not true.

[45:51] Please, Mr. Skin lives in Florida.

[45:53] Call me Raj Skin.

[45:54] But have any of the floppers ever thought about adapting the basic service of Mr. Skin to other aspects of film?

[46:01] For instance.

[46:02] Like violence?

[46:03] For instance, my friend would like a website that would show every instance in a school-oriented movie where the bully's lackey pushes the bully away to embrace the hero.

[46:13] Oh, even better would be when the bully at the end

[46:15] pushes the lackey away when he's trying to comfort him.

[46:17] That's a solid move.

[46:18] They know they do it in Better Off Dead.

[46:20] Yeah, and does that happen in Karate Kid, or am I not?

[46:25] In Karate Kid, yes.

[46:26] Well, the thing is, in the Karate Kid,

[46:28] he doesn't push him away, but he leaves the Cobra Kai member.

[46:32] And one of the things I love about Karate Kid, actually,

[46:35] is that his main opponent, when Ralph Macchio beats him,

[46:40] he goes, hey, you're a good guy,

[46:41] And he actually takes the trophy out of the hand of the ref and hands it to Ralph Macchio.

[46:45] And it's such a great moment of like, you know what?

[46:47] You're a good karate guy.

[46:49] I like you.

[46:49] You can imagine a real friendship forming between them.

[46:52] He has to go to, what, Okinawa and leave that friendship behind.

[46:57] Yeah, and they die on the beaches.

[46:58] They were just soaking up bullets so our brave boys could end that war.

[47:03] I think you're misremembering Karate Kid Part 2.

[47:05] Karate Kid Part 2 is a flashback to the Battle of Okinawa, right?

[47:09] But he goes on to say, I would probably be one of the first subscribers to a website that could tell me the exact moment in every movie where a stuntman covered in fire walks like a zombie out of an explosion.

[47:19] That would be pretty great.

[47:20] I think I remember Stuart mentioning that his favorite part of the movie is when a character makes a basket and then gives himself a fist pump while saying, yes.

[47:26] I'm sure the other hosts have ideas just as good.

[47:29] It doesn't have to just be a basket.

[47:31] I claim only a quarter of all future profits derived from the sites you guys come up with.

[47:34] Flop, Searley, Matthew, last name.

[47:38] Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

[47:39] We could do, like, when somebody pumps his fist and says yes.

[47:43] Movies where someone looks at a check and goes, huh?

[47:46] Or, like, fancy food arrives and it's a really small portion.

[47:49] Sure.

[47:50] At times when the girl from Ipanema is playing in an elevator.

[47:53] Or when someone's walking in a bathing suit past a pool.

[47:56] Or any time a famous actress gets naked in a movie.

[48:00] No, that's the original.

[48:01] Yeah, and we could classify it by what kind of nudity you see.

[48:05] No, I think that you guys have forgotten what the –

[48:08] We could call it Mr. Nude.

[48:11] Okay.

[48:14] No, that's good.

[48:15] When I said violence earlier, I could see a site called Mr. Bullets or something where it's like in action movies when the action scenes take place.

[48:25] So you don't have to sit through all of double team or something like that.

[48:28] People who like action without any sort of emotional context whatsoever.

[48:32] Yeah, although I guess then you can just watch The Ray of Redemption.

[48:35] Which gives you minimal emotional content.

[48:37] Minimal emotional content.

[48:38] They're brothers, dude.

[48:40] They are.

[48:40] Spoiler alert.

[48:41] That doesn't really have much bearing on the constant kick fighting.

[48:45] You can see it in their fighting styles, Elliot.

[48:47] Actually, I would like a service for that for movies that are not musicals but have a musical number in it so that I can skip that part.

[48:59] I would like one that told me

[49:02] whenever someone saw something hot

[49:04] and the soundtrack starts going,

[49:06] and they push their sunglasses down like this

[49:11] to get a better look, that's good.

[49:13] Oh, you know what?

[49:14] A changing room montage would be a nice thing.

[49:15] Just movies that tells you

[49:17] where the movie has a changing room montage

[49:18] where someone walks out in an outfit

[49:20] and someone else shakes their head no,

[49:21] and they go back in,

[49:22] they walk in a different outfit

[49:23] and they nod their head yes.

[49:24] This would be harder,

[49:25] but anytime there's a movie

[49:26] where there's a racist character

[49:29] who is later reformed

[49:30] and decides that he respects

[49:32] the object of his racism.

[49:33] Or any time a real estate developer

[49:35] gets pushed into a pool

[49:36] at the end of a movie.

[49:37] Or a bully, it could be.

[49:39] But every time they use the word and

[49:41] in a movie.

[49:42] Just give me the time code.

[49:43] Every movie.

[49:44] So our fans get on those?

[49:46] We'll call it Mr. Conjunction.

[49:47] Anyone good at web design?

[49:49] Just throw those up on the internet?

[49:51] Yep, and we'll do them.

[49:52] Not.

[49:52] We have jobs.

[49:53] No, I'm telling the fans to do it.

[49:55] Oh, the fans can do it, sure.

[49:56] The fans are great.

[49:56] We've got a lot of great fans.

[49:58] That reminds me, for new listeners, you might want to catch up, research your Flophouse on the Flophouse Wiki, which will probably baffle you more than enlighten you.

[50:04] And there's also the Flophouse Recommends site that tells you what movies we've recommended in the past, both set up by fans, and they've done a great job with them.

[50:11] So this letter is titled, Dan's the Funniest One, Jerks.

[50:16] So did you write this?

[50:17] It's from Moses.

[50:18] Written by Dan something, last name with L.

[50:21] It's from Mr. Mixle Piddalick, care of backwards world.

[50:26] He says, I've been a regular listener for a few months now and enjoyed the show immensely.

[50:30] However, I take issue with the characterization of Dan as the boring one or the Leonardo of the group.

[50:35] The mournful sighing and exasperation aimed at the podcast's chaotic breakdowns is comedy gold.

[50:40] It makes the show really.

[50:41] He's a modern-day Bob Newhart as seen in the Bob Newhart Show.

[50:44] Or Bob Newhart in Newhart.

[50:46] Or Bob Newhart in Elf.

[50:47] It's genius.

[50:48] Go ahead and listen to older episodes.

[50:50] The laughs are provided by McCoy as if he were a laugh fairy sprinkling joy on us all.

[50:54] Now that I've all but guaranteed this letter gets read on the podcast.

[50:57] Yep.

[50:58] You know your audience.

[50:59] I was wondering which 2013 films you anticipate watching for the show.

[51:03] Personally, I fully expect Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters to appear sometime this year.

[51:08] Probably.

[51:08] Along with G.I. Joe Retaliation, perhaps.

[51:11] Maybe.

[51:11] Oh, P.S.

[51:14] This letter was written under the assumption that Dan's character is an intentional portrayal of the typical vanilla leader with a personality so devoid of emotion and humor that it makes a carton of milk look hilarious.

[51:24] by comparison if this is not the case i'm so sorry so i don't like the end of that i like the

[51:30] end of it it's like a twist like an m night shamalon letter uh he was a monster the whole

[51:36] time a boring monster oh dan i mean it's hard to know uh ahead of time what the like well there's

[51:43] that nicholas sparks movie that people on the flop house facebook page were mentioning yeah

[51:48] that's a that's a definite uh i'm trying to think what like really stupid looking movies are coming

[51:54] out uh but i'm i'm drawing a blank at the moment stewart do you think of any oh there was one

[51:59] though i can't remember i'm terrible at this for a while i felt like the call might be one of those

[52:04] but then i hear it's not so bad um i know that there are movies that we are in consideration

[52:10] now to watch in the future that that weren't future movies uh coming out like for instance

[52:17] uh hold on to your hats because i believe a certain gentleman that whose name starts with

[52:23] nicholas and ends with cage might be returning uh and we might watch nicholas cage and stolen

[52:28] oh yeah you mean nicholas k as it says in the trailer yeah if you haven't seen the trailer

[52:34] for stolen which is like taken but with nicholas cage and much less of a budget and also he's a

[52:41] bank robber yeah the uh the just like in taken where liam neeson plays that famous bank robber

[52:46] yeah he plays uh clyde barrel all the money is taken by him and the affair and the and the poster

[52:52] was like a Jack Davis drawing

[52:53] of a caricature of Liam Neeson

[52:56] with a big sack of money

[52:57] and the money's flying out as he runs

[52:59] and all the other characters in the movie

[53:00] are running behind him

[53:01] shaking their fists.

[53:02] But the official...

[53:02] They try to stop him

[53:03] but the money's already taken.

[53:05] The official trailer for this movie,

[53:08] an actual movie starring...

[53:09] You'll be taken.

[53:10] Starring big Hollywood star Nicolas Cage

[53:13] ends with the...

[53:14] And our favorite.

[53:14] And our favorite ever.

[53:15] Yeah.

[53:16] Our favorite actor ever in history.

[53:17] Ends with the voiceover guy

[53:18] trumpeting the fact that this movie stars

[53:20] nicholas cage and it's we i think we've talked about this before maybe but it's like someone

[53:26] walked in the room while he was doing it and they were like great one take done we're out

[53:29] i think i could do a better we only booked this vo booth for 45 seconds i think i said

[53:34] we're on golden time people all right so are there any other letters dan uh what about movie

[53:38] 43 we have to watch that right oh god in heaven gods and himmel oh um don't even suggest

[53:46] it's on you ruined my whole day i finally had that's my boy behind me never get to watch it

[53:55] again suddenly movie 43 rears its hideous head um this uh yeah we we should move ahead

[54:02] we should move ahead because uh we're running a little long do you have any short letters that

[54:09] don't involve krang's boobs on like last episode i'm trying to find a short letter uh but i don't

[54:16] I don't have one.

[54:17] Because that was horrifying.

[54:18] At the ready.

[54:19] I'll read this one instead, though.

[54:21] This is titled Love Letter.

[54:23] It's from Matt, last name withheld.

[54:26] Let's go.

[54:27] He says,

[54:28] Gentlemen, the recent letter from your grandma-hating fan who received not one,

[54:32] Oh, that was a while ago.

[54:33] but two copies of The Love Guru got me thinking.

[54:35] You got grandmawed.

[54:37] What if grandma thought she was getting a Love Guru sequel the second time around?

[54:42] And what would that entail?

[54:44] Would lesser character John Oliver, a.k.a. Dick Pants, take over Mike Myers' role in the sequel?

[54:49] He would certainly return.

[54:50] A la Steve Carell in Evan Almighty?

[54:52] Having not actually seen The Love Guru, there are only so many plot questions I can ask.

[54:56] So more importantly, what would they call it?

[54:58] They'd have to call it The Love-to-roo, right?

[55:00] There really isn't much more stupid name for a sequel to such a stupid movie.

[55:04] But why stop there?

[55:05] Why limit ourselves to one delightful British superstar mash-em-up when we could have Love-actually?

[55:12] And to love it, Love Actual 3.

[55:15] Is that the third movie or the second one?

[55:19] Actual 3?

[55:20] That's the third.

[55:22] The second and third were shot back to back.

[55:24] It's like Back to the Futures.

[55:25] Okay.

[55:26] Oh, it says to be continued.

[55:27] So slowly over sequels, the Love Actually name is just being replaced by numbers.

[55:33] Yeah.

[55:33] Throw in the DirecTV follow-up and you've got a Love Quadrilogy.

[55:37] Of course, then 5 Actual 3.

[55:39] See also.

[55:40] And number six, they bring it back to its roots, and it's just love actual.

[55:43] No comma.

[55:46] See, also, New York, I love too, and they too'd for love.

[55:51] And after 29 sequential Ginny McCarthy films, we could finally have 30 Love.

[55:58] Wait, which would not be it.

[56:00] Dirty Love.

[56:00] Oh, Dirty Love.

[56:01] You know the movie with the period in the grocery store?

[56:03] I don't remember that scene.

[56:05] I didn't watch it.

[56:05] We could have 30 Love, which would not be a tennis movie for some reason.

[56:08] Sure would be.

[56:09] I'm pretending later we'd have 40 love.

[56:11] It'd be like the Michael Apted Up movies.

[56:12] Michael Haneke is an Oscar frontrunner for his film Amour,

[56:15] but does it leave audiences wanting Amour or even a four?

[56:20] Obviously, there'd be a third in there somewhere,

[56:23] so we'd just call it Amour 3, Season of the Witch.

[56:25] Yeah, of course.

[56:29] Of course we would.

[56:30] My real question is, what sequels would you love to see?

[56:33] This is from Matt Carman, editor of I Love Bad Toovies.

[56:38] I detected Matt Carman's...

[56:39] Two Vs.

[56:40] Ah, Matt Carman, I detected your foul stink when I stepped aboard the space station.

[56:45] Yeah, so, yeah.

[56:47] He doesn't smell bad.

[56:48] The other editor of I Love Bad Movies, along with the aforementioned Ksenia of Bonnie and Maude.

[56:52] Yeah, good folks. Engaged.

[56:55] And he's trying to pimp us into making up puns at a moment's notice.

[56:59] Well, I'll just tell you the sequels I want to look for are ones I've already mentioned on the show before.

[57:03] They would be crossover sequels.

[57:05] For instance, Rocky VII, Rambo V, starring Sylvester Stallone as both characters, turns out they're brothers, and Short Circuit III, Terminator VI.

[57:15] I count the Terminator TV series as the fifth Terminator movie.

[57:19] And Robocop 0.5, right?

[57:21] Wait, 0.5? So it's a prequel?

[57:24] Yeah, it's kind of a, it's like a half prequel, but he's in there too.

[57:26] What if it was, okay, it's a Robocop, Terminator, Short Circuit, and what was that movie about the little kid who was a robot?

[57:35] Not the show, Small Wonder, but she's in there, too.

[57:37] No, not Jack.

[57:39] It was a kid who had an aging disease.

[57:40] No, what was it called?

[57:42] I can't remember.

[57:42] It was a little boy who turned out to be a robot.

[57:44] Jack Robot.

[57:44] You know what?

[57:45] I'll just say AI.

[57:46] It wasn't AI, but so it's a Terminator, RoboCop, AI, RoboSapien, Small Wonder.

[57:54] Who am I leaving out?

[57:56] Bicentennial Man.

[57:57] Look, any robot that's ever been in a movie is going to be in this, and it's going to

[58:00] be called Robots 2.

[58:01] It's the sequel to the movie Robots.

[58:03] the hilarious cast from the transmorphers movies yeah and the transformers movies hey guys hey and

[58:08] the morph they're not gonna get along with each other oh no hey what about ratatouille and ratatouille

[58:14] three oh those are both good oh you're playing too i like you're playing the game what about

[58:18] you stewart uh wait what he was in a mirror's world the whole time so mirrors two that movie

[58:26] doesn't exist i think i assume yours would be castle threak yeah the third castle because it

[58:31] Turns out, Head of the Family is the second Castle Freak movie.

[58:34] Head of the Formally would be the fourth one of those.

[58:37] Okay, no, that's good.

[58:38] So we should just quickly get into our movie recommendations.

[58:41] The Invisible Toomiac, right?

[58:43] No.

[58:44] I was going to say The Invisible Maniac 2, Invisible Boogaloo.

[58:46] Yeah, wait, why wasn't Tomb Raider Tomb Raider?

[58:50] Because that would be stupid.

[58:51] Okay.

[58:51] Because this is a dumb thing.

[58:54] No, but...

[58:57] What's weird is for a while, sequels didn't have numbers in them.

[59:00] They just would have a subtitle, and they still do stuff like that.

[59:04] And they would often have the characters on the poster pointing out the number of fingers that the film is.

[59:09] Yeah, but it's weird that they decided to go back and put the numbers in,

[59:11] but just kind of wedge them into the titles, just kind of squeeze them in.

[59:14] But like Sherlock Holmes, for instance, it wasn't called Sherlock Holmes 2, the sequel.

[59:18] It was like Sherlock Holmes Book of Shadows or something.

[59:20] Game of Shadows.

[59:21] Wait, they found the Book of Shadows?

[59:24] I guess so.

[59:24] Blair Witch is going to be pissed.

[59:25] It was like Sherlock Holmes Attack of the Clones or something.

[59:28] Yeah, Sherlock Holmes walks into a room.

[59:30] He's like, some sort of Blair Witch has been here.

[59:31] How do you know that?

[59:34] Sherlock, you just got here.

[59:35] Well, that man died in the corner with his hand on the wall.

[59:38] She dropped her business card on the floor.

[59:40] It says Blair Witch, Witch.

[59:43] I guess Witch is her last name.

[59:44] Her first name is Blair, like Blair on the Packs of Life?

[59:49] Yeah, Blair Witch, and she's a witch.

[59:51] And Blair Underwood.

[59:52] Yeah, sure.

[59:52] He's a witch.

[59:53] He's bewitching.

[59:55] Very quickly, because we're running long, this is the part of the show where we make recommendations of movies we saw recently that we actually enjoyed.

[1:00:03] These are not ironic recommendations.

[1:00:04] These are positive recommendations of movies we enjoyed.

[1:00:07] Elliot, why don't you go first for once?

[1:00:09] Okay.

[1:00:09] I usually go last or second, but today I'll go first.

[1:00:12] So I'm going to go first.

[1:00:13] Wait, what?

[1:00:14] The movie I'm going to recommend is an Italian film from the late 40s, I know you love it already, called Riso Amaro, which translates as Bitter Rice.

[1:00:23] And it is a – it's basically a thriller, but it kind of gets to the thriller part.

[1:00:29] It's a little surprising.

[1:00:30] It's almost like a film noir crossed with a melodrama crossed with a woman in prison film crossed with like a neorealist story about labor agitation.

[1:00:40] And basically this woman is on the run from the law and becomes a migrant rice planter because apparently they have rice fields in Italy, which I didn't realize about.

[1:00:50] but the criminal who she was working with chases after her she gets mixed up with another woman at

[1:00:56] the rice plantation who is seems innocent but maybe isn't and there's a lot of like small

[1:01:03] character work among other characters that's a lot of fun and i really enjoyed a lot it's a movie i

[1:01:07] dvr'd off turniclassic movies on a whim and it turned out to be a lot of fun and really enjoyable

[1:01:12] so bitter rice riso amaro i'd recommend well you guys are going to make fun of me for this

[1:01:17] disclaimer, but the next movie I'm

[1:01:19] going to recommend is not like the heartiest

[1:01:21] recommendation. Let me guess, you saw

[1:01:23] it on a plane? No. Or while you were asleep?

[1:01:25] I saw it while I was...

[1:01:27] You saw the first ten minutes of it.

[1:01:29] I saw it while I was injured and

[1:01:31] unable to leave the house to do much, so I was watching

[1:01:33] a lot of Netflix streaming. A captive audience.

[1:01:35] Oh, boy.

[1:01:38] But, uh,

[1:01:39] no, it's a movie that benefits from

[1:01:41] a little bit of low expectation, but it was fun,

[1:01:43] like, shaggy comedy.

[1:01:44] I watched Good Old Fashioned Orgy, which

[1:01:47] has a lot of uh comedy folks in it it's got jason sudeikis tyler labine lake bell nick kroll uh

[1:01:54] judy punch will forte like it's a judy punch is a great name uh but what i appreciate is it's like

[1:02:00] punching judy thanks in one name you know thanks for explaining the joke it's about a bunch of

[1:02:06] friends who have this house this vacation house and they're gonna lose the vacation house and

[1:02:11] they're used to having these big blowout parties there and they're like what jason sudeikis is like

[1:02:17] i need a great premise for like the last party that we have here and because like they're growing

[1:02:22] sort of like older like he he has this like idea like this is our last like youthful thing what

[1:02:28] we're gonna have is we're gonna have a good old-fashioned orgy and um so by old-fashioned

[1:02:32] you mean like a roman orgy i don't know but he didn't actually watch the movie he read about it

[1:02:38] though and it was great what i sort of enjoyed he just looked up old-fashioned he looked up old

[1:02:43] orgy on google and this is what i told you were running late and you're dragging it out hey you're

[1:02:48] the boss keep going uh what i liked about this movie was that it a lot of these movies where

[1:02:54] they have this kind of like racy premise uh at the end of the movie they like i feel like there's

[1:03:00] this need to introduce morality into this and they're like oh you know what this isn't a good

[1:03:06] idea we're gonna we're not gonna do this thing we're gonna reinforce like the most traditional

[1:03:11] Hollywood. Social norms. Yeah.

[1:03:13] And this movie makes a feint in that direction

[1:03:15] but it's not

[1:03:18] spoiling anything to say that they actually

[1:03:19] go ahead and have the orgy at the end of it.

[1:03:21] And I sort of appreciated that.

[1:03:23] You don't see that in a movie and I liked

[1:03:25] that it... You can see it in a movie pretty easily these days.

[1:03:28] The internet brings orgy

[1:03:29] movies to your fingertips.

[1:03:31] And there's a couple of stores on 3rd Avenue I can introduce

[1:03:33] in here. I just like that it did something.

[1:03:35] For a big...

[1:03:38] Say the well-man sent you.

[1:03:40] trying to be mainstream comedy i appreciated that it went in that direction so i'm gonna reach back

[1:03:46] into my past recommendations because we're running short on time i don't actually want

[1:03:52] to think of something uh why would you you could have done it ahead of time why would you and i'm

[1:03:57] going to recommend a flop house fave split second starring recker howard okay set in the far future

[1:04:05] Where London is like half flooded, so everyone has to walk around in like knee or thigh high water, and there's an alien murdering people.

[1:04:15] Or is it not an alien?

[1:04:16] Who knows?

[1:04:17] And Rutger Hauer has a unique weakness.

[1:04:19] And Rutger Hauer has a twist on the typical detective with skeletons in his closet.

[1:04:28] This time he is a chocoholic and with a figure to match.

[1:04:32] Ouch.

[1:04:34] and uh kim cattrall is naked in it and uh yeah it's great what else do you need

[1:04:39] there's some gore and that's awesome problems you got alien killers you got kim cattrall

[1:04:44] i would call it the predator 2 of alien ripoffs so i don't even know if that's faint praise or

[1:04:50] what i don't know what kind of description that is oh man it's great okay so i mean

[1:04:55] predator is an alien ripoff i'm recommending predator predator 2 electric boogaloo all right

[1:05:03] well uh this has been a delight guys it should have been called predator despite the two hours

[1:05:08] we spent watching that's my boy that was not a delight but hey i love spending time with you

[1:05:11] guys and i love spending it with our new listeners and our old listeners reminds me of a song no no

[1:05:16] feels like it's been forever since i've seen you guys right podcast so for the flop house

[1:05:22] i've been dan mccoy young and old old and new i'm stewart wellington maybe you elliot sign off oh

[1:05:29] I'm Elliot Kaelin.

[1:05:30] Good night, everyone.

[1:05:31] Flophouse.

[1:05:32] Done.

[1:05:35] Had his testicles outside of his leotard.

[1:05:49] And the character was called Dr. Nuts.

[1:05:52] And he was kind of like a crazy guy.

[1:05:54] And he was like a comic relief type.

[1:05:57] But in like a major wrestling match, Dr. Nuts would get killed by somebody.

[1:06:02] Oh, no.

[1:06:03] And then he would come back as like a dark version of him.

[1:06:07] And nobody would know it's him because he's got a mask.

[1:06:09] And he was then called Wrecking Balls.

[1:06:13] So you think, but he would still have his testicles outside of his leotard.

[1:06:16] Yeah, that's how you would know it's actually him.

[1:06:18] So really, his mysterious wrestler, it would be a pretty open secret.

[1:06:21] Yeah, the announcers would be like, is that?

[1:06:23] But wait a minute, we haven't seen balls like that since.

[1:06:26] but he was killed in the ring.

The Flop House: Episode #123 - That's My Boy

Chapters

Transcript

Description