The Flop House: Episode #124 - Stolen

[0:00] We may watch other movies, baby, but you know we love you best.

[0:03] We discuss Stolen, starring Nicolas Cage.

[0:30] hey everyone and welcome to the flop house i'm dan mccoy hey i'm stewart wellington and i'm

[0:38] elliot kalin in the number three spot but first in america's hearts i don't know if i've spoken

[0:45] i looked up our q ratings wait is there a flopper awards that uh stewart checked his phone and he

[0:52] said he'd allow it hey enough goofing around guys it's time to make the donuts okay suddenly

[0:58] you're a cruel taskmaster um welcome back to the flop house a podcast where we watch a movie

[1:06] perhaps a bad movie and then we discuss it yes yeah perhaps yep i just don't i just i feel bad

[1:12] you don't want to you know every now every now and then we throw a seven samurai in there

[1:16] just to throw off the listeners the seventh samurai floating weeds in the mix yeah every

[1:22] now and then we just throw away uh other japanese movie in there dead or alive two that's all i mean

[1:31] that is a bad movie that's a great movie where they turn into angels and have the montage of

[1:36] killing people and giving money to happy african kids um so this evening we watched a little movie

[1:42] called stolen stolen starring nicholas kate yep it's we haven't seen a nicholas cage movie in a

[1:50] while so i'm excited about like three months without a cage so should we explain why we're

[1:57] mispronouncing nicholas gay just i think listeners to the past episodes are familiar with this story

[2:02] that was pre-ew so we should yeah or pew we should post ew and if somebody is picking this podcast

[2:09] up for the first time we don't actually want them to get the joke exactly no yeah yeah it's all about

[2:14] forcing people out and making them not enjoy it by feeling they're not cool enough to get these

[2:18] inside jokes so buckle on your headphones folks we're gonna talk about this movie it's gonna be

[2:25] a bumpy here uh so we should explain that this movie stolen we saw the trailer last year and

[2:32] it looked fantastic and for it's a nicholas cage film uh that for some reason in the trailer the

[2:38] voiceover guy who has a perfectly normal voice announces the name of the star as nicholas cage

[2:44] he like throws an extra syllable in there yeah and otherwise semi-professional yeah i would say

[2:53] produced trailer very very not the most slick trailer it could it could have easily been a

[2:59] direct-to-dvd film did we ever resolve that according to wikipedia no it was released in

[3:04] the theaters okay this is a movie that in america made a little bit over three hundred thousand

[3:09] hot dog and worldwide box office gross was a little over two million dollars okay so it's

[3:15] probably on top right no it's a budget of 35 million oh which is still very cheap for this

[3:21] type of movie i mean this is a nicholas cage action thriller and danny houston doesn't come

[3:26] cheap no all those hats he wears malin akerman very expensive uh they shot it in new orleans

[3:33] so you know that's the big easy home of 12 rounds as i believe they renamed it they named it they

[3:41] renamed the city home of 12 rounds when they gave the key to the city to john santa yeah and then

[3:45] he bent it in half and then he ate it he thought there was chocolate inside he didn't care he just

[3:50] thought it was something he just eats he just ingests matter and it becomes muscle that's what

[3:56] you're saying yeah uh so this is a movie that so this is a movie it's a movie it doesn't look

[4:02] expensive it's a suspense thriller it doesn't look like a movie 35 million dollars a lot of

[4:07] screen right it's kind of all up there but it doesn't look bad yeah it looks it looks more

[4:12] expensive than movies that we've seen that cost a lot more more expensive than nicholas cage movies

[4:17] that's my boy last week which was a 70 million dollar movie oh where you saw none of the money

[4:22] on screen yeah not once did they do a shot of just like a big pile of money i mean this was

[4:26] a competently never saw it on screen this is a competently directed action film from uh simon

[4:33] west who you may know as the director of uh tomb raider and uh and uh more recently the mechanic

[4:40] the brother of simon east gone in 60 seconds right no he didn't do that but he's best enjoyed i think

[4:45] for con air oh right which is a very enjoyable stupid movie in which the audience is supposed

[4:53] to cheer for a child killer

[4:55] being on the loose at the end.

[4:57] When Steve Buscemi is

[4:58] not only on the loose,

[5:00] has money in his pocket,

[5:02] and a crowd of people around cheering him.

[5:05] This is a character who throughout has been treated as

[5:07] the worst murderer in the world.

[5:08] But to the audience, it's like, yeah!

[5:10] Our cute buddy!

[5:12] A friend, Mr. Pink!

[5:13] He's back in the game!

[5:16] I thought he was all chopped up in that wood chipper, but nope,

[5:18] he's okay on the con air.

[5:20] All the same character.

[5:23] I tried to book a flight on Con Air, and it was much more expensive than I thought it would be.

[5:26] Only movie they show?

[5:28] The Rock.

[5:29] Weird.

[5:30] So weird, yeah.

[5:31] But they show the version that stars The Rock, where he plays all the parts.

[5:36] Oh, okay.

[5:37] And he just performed it in his basement.

[5:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[5:39] Yeah.

[5:39] Should we talk about what this movie was about?

[5:41] I guess.

[5:42] So, Nicolas Cage plays the best bank robber in the world.

[5:46] Of course he is.

[5:46] He's Nicolas Cage.

[5:47] Yeah.

[5:48] And in the beginning, he and his gang, made up of Malin Ackerman.

[5:51] She's the hottie.

[5:53] Who else was in it?

[5:54] Josh Lucas.

[5:55] MC Ganey.

[5:55] MC Ganey was the body.

[5:57] Who do you know as Mr. Friendly from Lost?

[5:59] Or you know him from...

[6:01] Swamp Thing from Con Air.

[6:02] That was his character's name, and he was the pilot.

[6:05] And he was in another Flophouse movie.

[6:07] Yeah, you told me earlier, and I've already forgotten.

[6:10] I forgot it, too.

[6:11] Like 10,000 BC or something.

[6:13] He played one of the Manics.

[6:14] No, it's Wild Hogs.

[6:15] A wild hogs, he was like a biker or something, or maybe a sheriff.

[6:18] He's a guy who looks like a biker.

[6:19] And he's also a rapper, MC Ganey.

[6:21] Master of ceremonies, Ganey.

[6:24] Now, so they have a bank robbing crew.

[6:28] They're the best bank robbers, and they're in New Orleans,

[6:30] which is how you say New Orleans if you're in New Orleans.

[6:34] So they're in New Orleans, and they're going to rob, it looks like.

[6:38] A bank.

[6:38] It looks like they're going to rob the New Orleans Diamond Exchange,

[6:45] And there's all these FBI agents around, led by Danny Houston, who is not yet wearing a hat.

[6:50] He is hatless.

[6:51] The subject is hatless.

[6:52] I repeat.

[6:54] Okay, don't engage until he puts the hat on.

[6:56] Watch him.

[6:56] Move, move, move.

[6:57] Is he putting a hat on?

[6:59] No, no, he's just scratching his head.

[7:00] Okay, hold back, hold back.

[7:01] So it looks like they're about to rob a diamond exchange, which involves drilling through a toy store wall and going into the diamond building.

[7:13] That sounds right.

[7:14] The FBI rushes in.

[7:15] They were double-hatched, double-crossed.

[7:18] Wait.

[7:18] They're not robbing the diamond exchange.

[7:20] They're robbing the bank.

[7:21] Ah!

[7:21] They break through a safe.

[7:23] They rob it of $10 million in cash bucks wrapped in plastic.

[7:28] And unfortunately, Nicolas Cage and what's his name?

[7:32] Lucas.

[7:32] Josh Lucas.

[7:33] They're leaving the bank.

[7:35] He looks like a normal guy at this point in the movie.

[7:37] He looks like a handsome blonde man.

[7:39] And Josh Lucas is very sad to leave behind a bunch of gold.

[7:42] Of course.

[7:43] Yes.

[7:43] He's looking at it.

[7:44] There's big piles of gold.

[7:46] He's like, gold has never been worth zero.

[7:47] Like, I could sell this gold to William Devane for big bucks, but they've got to leave it behind.

[7:52] If anyone's watching news channel networks during the day, you'll get that joke.

[7:55] But he says, I love shiny things, and gold is the shiniest.

[8:00] And Nicholas goes, hey, we've got $10 million right here.

[8:03] Let's just go, OK?

[8:04] And they're rushing out of the bank, and a janitor or somebody sees them and says, hey, where are you guys going?

[8:11] Where are you running with that bag full of money?

[8:13] And Josh Lucas hits that guy and is about to shoot him.

[8:17] And Nicolas Cage is like, we're not killers, okay?

[8:18] Don't kill him.

[8:19] And they fight.

[8:20] They're literally, the people in the getaway van can see them down an alley.

[8:24] They get in a fight, and in the middle of it, Nicolas Cage shoots Josh Lucas in the knee to get him to stop.

[8:30] He throws him in the van.

[8:31] Again, I'm not in support of that.

[8:33] Any sort of knee injury.

[8:34] And this is, it's like we watch movies in a row guaranteed to infuriate Dan.

[8:39] It's like every time a bad guy in a movie gets hit in the crotch, I'm like, hey, come on.

[8:43] That's smart.

[8:44] Because of your giant penis.

[8:45] Yeah, like at the end of the Power Rangers movie

[8:48] when they knee the giant monster in the balls.

[8:50] Giant penis monster.

[8:53] I would be lying if I said I had seen the Power Rangers movie.

[8:56] Okay, well, continue.

[8:57] Or like whenever a guy gets his foot stepped on in a movie

[9:01] and I'm like, all right, okay.

[9:03] Foot stuff.

[9:04] You're into foot play?

[9:06] Not really, but it's a popular fetish.

[9:09] I thought I'd jump on the foot fetish bandwagon.

[9:11] So you want to try it out?

[9:13] I was actually talking about this today, how I'm disturbed that if you put any actress's name into Google, immediately feet will pop up behind it.

[9:23] Which is apparently, like, foot fetishism is much larger than I expected because that is the number one result.

[9:30] You know what's even larger than foot fetishism?

[9:31] What?

[9:31] Big foot fetishism.

[9:33] What?

[9:33] Bigger feet, bigger fetish.

[9:35] Look at the size of those footprints.

[9:37] For some guys, that's like an enormous boob print.

[9:43] There's a guy somewhere masturbating with the idea of Bigfoot and some Manola Blahnik.

[9:49] He's just masturbating to Harry and the Hendersons.

[9:51] There's a guy who has cut out pictures of shoes from a magazine,

[9:54] and he watches Harry and the Hendersons and holds it up to the TV screen.

[9:57] That's the stuff.

[9:59] Oh yeah, old man of the forest.

[10:01] Those pumps look pretty good.

[10:04] You got the biggest feet.

[10:06] The biggest feet.

[10:07] Anyway, so...

[10:09] So we're going to talk about the movies some more?

[10:11] What's going on?

[10:12] So we're about five minutes into the movie, too.

[10:14] Nicolas Cage can't get on the ghetto-y van, so he gets into a police car.

[10:19] He beats up a police officer and gets into his car and takes the police on a high-speed car chase.

[10:25] A surprisingly exciting chase, I would say.

[10:26] It's a pretty good car chase through a parking garage and all that.

[10:30] But finally, he gets caught, and they say, come out with the money.

[10:34] And he's got a duffel bag with $10 million wrapped in plastic, and he's in a building with a barrel fire that some homeless people were warming their hands around.

[10:41] Cobo is a lot of barrel fires.

[10:42] And because it gets so cold at night, New Orleans,

[10:45] known for its rough, cold nights, New Orleans,

[10:50] he throws a...

[10:52] You could be there putting some crawdads in that barrel fire.

[10:54] Cook it up a catfish.

[10:55] Have some gumbo.

[11:00] So he and Nicolas Cage walks out with the money.

[11:05] He says, I threw the money in the fire.

[11:07] I threw it in the fire.

[11:08] They've got...

[11:09] No evidence.

[11:10] No evidence.

[11:11] Well, he doesn't tell them that at that time, but that's what he does.

[11:13] Burned with the heat of a thousand suns.

[11:14] No, just fire.

[11:16] He gets a reduced sentence because they can't find the evidence.

[11:20] Yeah.

[11:20] Even though there's no way that $10 million in bills wrapped in plastic is going to burn up in one of those barrels so they're not going to figure out what happened.

[11:29] I don't know.

[11:29] Maybe it was like an atomic barrel.

[11:32] Okay, sure.

[11:33] Well, I'll accept it.

[11:34] I'll accept it for the purposes of stolen.

[11:36] For the purposes of stolen, that barrel has atomic fission technology.

[11:40] But that person is still in that barrel that shines as bright as the sun.

[11:43] Yeah, exactly.

[11:43] Just like Nicolas Cage's smile.

[11:45] It is brighter than the sun that Cage smiled.

[11:49] Cut to eight years later.

[11:51] Nick Cage is getting out of jail as a free man.

[11:53] First stop is at a newsstand to buy a ratty blue teddy bear for his now-grown daughter.

[11:58] Semi-grown.

[12:00] She's like 15.

[12:01] Yeah, sure.

[12:02] And then he gets picked up by...

[12:04] I got purpose rate number two over here.

[12:05] Yeah, exactly.

[12:06] Grown at 15?

[12:07] Huh?

[12:08] Huh?

[12:09] I'm just trying to get this started.

[12:11] I'm about to barf.

[12:12] It doesn't stick.

[12:13] I'm the guy with the Bigfoot fetish, okay?

[12:15] And he gets picked up by the FBI, by Danny Houston, who is now wearing a hat.

[12:22] You know what?

[12:23] A pork pie hat.

[12:24] A pork pie hat, because that's what cops wear when they reach a certain age.

[12:27] Yeah, in the intervening eight years, he got way into wearing a hat.

[12:30] Can you blame him?

[12:31] It looks great on him.

[12:32] No, of course.

[12:33] He's starring in Police Detectives of a Certain Age, and he wears a pork pie hat.

[12:38] Sam, Ed O'Neill, and some other guy who played a cop at some point.

[12:42] Let's just recycle Andre Brouwer.

[12:45] Andre?

[12:46] Andre Brouwer?

[12:48] And Dre Brouwer.

[12:50] And Ray Brouwer.

[12:52] That's Andre Brouwer's when he got the sex change.

[12:55] Oh, Andre.

[12:56] Yeah.

[12:57] Anyway, so it's eight years later.

[13:00] There's a hat.

[13:01] I think we got the hat down.

[13:02] They drop him off at his daughter's house.

[13:04] We never see the daughter's mother, so I guess she's just a 15-year-old.

[13:07] He's got to be beautiful.

[13:08] And it doesn't go well, his first meeting with his daughter.

[13:13] He gives her the teddy bear.

[13:15] She's a little old for him.

[13:16] Takes the teddy bear initially, though.

[13:17] Takes it initially to make him feel better, but the conversation does not go well.

[13:21] He tries to explain that it's not his fault he became a criminal.

[13:24] Doesn't go over.

[13:25] She leaves to go to her shrink's appointment because apparently she has abandonment issues.

[13:30] If you couldn't tell that from her pixie cut.

[13:32] But unfortunately.

[13:33] I don't know what that means.

[13:35] Unfortunately, she gets into the wrong taxi cab, as we'll find out in a second.

[13:38] Then, Nicolas Cage goes to visit his old pal, Malian Ackerman, who's now a bartender.

[13:42] Eight years, looks great.

[13:45] Has not aged a day.

[13:47] Nobody in the movie has aged a day, except for Nicolas Cage's daughter, I assume.

[13:51] And the movie attempts to hang a lantern on that by having Nicolas Cage say,

[13:55] You're aging younger, but still.

[13:58] Eight years later, and you look younger than you did before.

[14:01] Yeah, no dice movie. We get what you're saying.

[14:03] We're not buying.

[14:05] I mean, M.C. Ganey looks like, what, 95 years old at this point?

[14:09] And so, but he also...

[14:11] M.C. Scat Ganey.

[14:12] Remember what he did?

[14:15] The German porn version of M.C. Ganey.

[14:18] You really are not doing a great job of keeping this Ferbazoid title off of you.

[14:23] All right, well...

[14:26] I was talking about Bigfoot porn earlier, and now you seem like the Ferbert.

[14:30] Anyway, so we're barely into this movie.

[14:34] So he got a package, and it starts ringing while he's talking to Malene Ackerman.

[14:38] Opens it up.

[14:39] It's a phone from an unknown caller.

[14:41] That's weird.

[14:42] He picks it up.

[14:43] That's because this movie's called Unknown, right?

[14:45] No, it's not.

[14:46] It's called Stolen.

[14:46] Did he steal the phone?

[14:48] I don't get it.

[14:49] No, he's going to steal some other.

[14:50] He stole $10 million to steal some other stuff.

[14:52] But wait, I thought he burned it, so he didn't really steal it.

[14:54] No, you can still steal something even if it's destroyed.

[14:56] Okay, continue.

[14:57] Now, she told him that Josh Lucas has died and that MC Ganey is just an old man now.

[15:03] He gets a phone call on this new, brand new phone.

[15:06] It's his old bank robbing partner, Josh Lucas.

[15:10] Uh-oh.

[15:11] A ghost from beyond the grave?

[15:13] No, you'd think.

[15:14] Yeah.

[15:15] But actually, he's become a horrid, gross shell of himself.

[15:18] A golem of a man.

[15:20] And I don't mean golem the good kind of golem.

[15:22] I mean the bad kind of golem.

[15:24] Somehow, in the intervening years, he's grown long, ratty blonde hair.

[15:28] I mean, in eight years, I believe he can grow long, ratty blonde hair.

[15:32] ratty blonde hair. It looks like the wig

[15:34] that Jeff Daniels was wearing in

[15:36] Dumb and Dumber, and he's got yellowed teeth.

[15:38] And then also... Impossible.

[15:40] He's lost his

[15:41] leg, the one that he got shot in.

[15:44] The lower half of his left leg

[15:46] and now has... He has one of those Blade Runner

[15:48] style spring

[15:50] legs. Yeah, the kind of thing that a robo-pirate

[15:52] Ruger Hauer from Blade Runner wears.

[15:54] No, the fucking... The guy who killed

[15:56] his girlfriend. Oscar Pistorius, who allegedly

[15:58] killed his girlfriend. Allegedly, thank you.

[16:00] Until proven guilty, which he will be,

[16:02] allegedly thank you for not getting the flop house suit guys and thank you for being a friend

[16:07] travel down the road and back again your hearts are true your pals and confidants you know if

[16:13] you two threw a party together for some reason yeah invited everyone you knew i think you'd see

[16:18] the biggest gift maybe in monetary value not in size so i'm gonna give you a giant teddy bear or

[16:22] something would be for me and the card attached would say thank you for being a friends

[16:27] so so wait it says well i wrote out the music uh so it's his old supposedly dead

[16:40] criminal buddy who's now got a mean man on crazy old voodoo master now he looks he looks like a

[16:46] gross a gross like kind of rat wizard of a man he crawled out of hell to take his revenge i mean

[16:54] That would be interesting.

[16:55] It turns out he didn't do that.

[16:56] It turns out he faked his own death, partly by chopping off half of three of his fingers.

[17:00] So he's an onion knight, if you will.

[17:02] Gross.

[17:03] You know?

[17:03] Gross.

[17:03] Yeah.

[17:04] And he has...

[17:05] I won't, by the way.

[17:06] You won't?

[17:07] It's not like he cares.

[17:08] Don't associate that thing with this other thing.

[17:10] With Sir Davos?

[17:11] He didn't carry his fingers around with him in a pouch.

[17:13] I mean, come on.

[17:13] Oh, no, he didn't.

[17:14] He used them to fake his own death in a pouch.

[17:16] Now, he...

[17:18] Uh-oh, he's a taxi driver now.

[17:20] He picked up Nicolas Cage's daughter in his taxi, and now...

[17:23] His daughter?

[17:23] Nicholas Cage's daughter.

[17:24] I'm sorry, Nicholas Cage's daughter in his taxi.

[17:29] And he says to him, I want that $10 million or else your daughter's dead.

[17:35] I'll give you 12 hours.

[17:36] And Nicholas Cage is like, but I burned that money.

[17:39] I burned it.

[17:40] He's like, yeah, sure you did.

[17:42] I don't believe you.

[17:43] My leg doesn't believe you.

[17:44] The audience doesn't believe that happened.

[17:45] Give it to me in 12 hours.

[17:47] I'm going to spend that time just driving the streets of New Orleans.

[17:50] During Mardi Gras.

[17:52] During Mardi Gras.

[17:53] Fat Tuesday, and with your daughter in my trunk, and get me the money, or she's dead.

[17:59] By the way, he did put a bunch of glow-in-the-dark stars in the trunk to make it more homey for her as he drove around.

[18:05] So that was a nice move.

[18:06] There are a couple little touches in the movie, like Danny Houston's hat and the little glow-in-the-dark stars he puts in the trunk.

[18:12] I like that they made the bad guy look like a weird ratty monster.

[18:16] I mean, you like weird ratty monsters in general.

[18:19] Yeah, in general.

[18:20] Like your castle freaks.

[18:21] Yeah, your snake man.

[18:23] He is kind of what I imagine the Judas Priest song Nightcrawler to be about.

[18:26] That's the guy who crawls into the town in the middle of the night to feast on flesh and blood.

[18:30] Or he's just like a ratty taxi driver, too.

[18:34] So, Nicolas Cage is at a loss.

[18:38] He's got to find this money that doesn't exist.

[18:41] But what he really has to do is find his old partner so he can get his daughter back.

[18:46] One last heist, sure.

[18:47] Yeah, well, not one last heist yet.

[18:49] He's going to heist his daughter back from this jerk.

[18:52] Yeah, it's called Daughter Heist.

[18:53] One man has to steal one daughter.

[18:58] This movie could be called Catch That Cab, Catch That Cash, or Catch That Kid, or Catch That Cage.

[19:04] So he tries to get the FBI's help.

[19:09] They don't believe him.

[19:10] Sure, your dead buddy is around, and that's why you want our help.

[19:14] They don't believe him.

[19:15] That's why you're violating your parole.

[19:17] Sure, you burned all that money, even though we couldn't find any of it.

[19:20] Whatever.

[19:21] tell it to my hat do you believe him no i don't my hat doesn't believe you uh so he asked he can't

[19:28] get their help he breaks some laws to get some information he tracks down their old friend mc

[19:32] gainey mc gainey he knows what's going on but he doesn't want to help him he's mad that he

[19:37] burned that money too and he's mad they made him drop his lunch he had a big paper sack with his

[19:43] lunch in it nicholas cage made him drop it for some reason uh and i wish that when it fell it

[19:48] It made a squawk, like a really cartoony squish sound, or even like a boing, but it doesn't.

[19:54] Oh, that was full of chili.

[19:55] Just in a bag.

[19:58] It was just a bag of chili, just dripping through this paper bag.

[20:01] But the police, the FBI come in, there's a fight out.

[20:04] By the way, a bag of chili is now a copyright.

[20:06] Flophouse, any attempt to make a restaurant based on a bag of chili, you owe us money.

[20:12] Flophouse brand bag of chili.

[20:13] From the makers of Bag of Coleslaw.

[20:16] It's a garbage bag full of coleslaw.

[20:18] Stick your hand in it.

[20:19] Pull some out.

[20:20] Eat it.

[20:20] Wow, we didn't even really try on that slogan.

[20:24] No.

[20:25] It's more user instructions.

[20:27] We could have made that sound more appetizing.

[20:31] Maybe with a diagram for a poster.

[20:32] I think I see the problem in why our coleslaw business didn't take off, guys.

[20:37] Well, also, the mascot is Garby the Garbage Bag.

[20:40] Not appealing or appetizing.

[20:42] Stick your face in me.

[20:48] Celebrity endorsement by M.C. Ganey.

[20:50] Come on down to Baggy Coast Law.

[20:53] It's full of mayonnaise-y goodness.

[20:55] So they have a big fight.

[20:58] In the shootout, M.C. Ganey gets killed.

[21:00] Nicolas Cage goes on the run, and the police are just shooting guns at him.

[21:04] They're just firing semi-automatic weapons at him.

[21:06] That SWAT team guy just makes a jumping, shooting machine gun motion.

[21:09] And at this point, his crimes are breaking his parole and accessing FBI files,

[21:14] and they're just firing semi-automatic weapons at him.

[21:16] There's, like, apartments all around.

[21:18] This is like a residential area.

[21:19] They're just shooting up.

[21:20] Oh, it's New Orleans.

[21:21] It's in bad shape.

[21:22] Anyway.

[21:22] After John Cena got through.

[21:24] They're still recovering from the damage done by 12 rounds.

[21:27] Hurricane Cena.

[21:28] Nicolas Cage is on the run.

[21:31] Fine.

[21:31] He's going to do this by himself.

[21:32] He's going to track down his old partner.

[21:34] He almost does it.

[21:36] He takes a cab driver hostage, uses the radio to track down his old partner's cab.

[21:42] There's a lot of car chasing.

[21:45] The partner almost gets caught by a cop because the girl in the trunk has broken one of the brake lights, one of the taillights, and tries to escape.

[21:53] She almost breaks through and gets a phone left by an Australian passenger that Josh Lucas beats the shit out of.

[21:59] There's a lot of –

[22:01] A really unappealing Australian guy who you're kind of happy to see get beat up.

[22:05] He's just a tourist there to get laid.

[22:06] He's just looking for sheilas.

[22:07] He's talking about sheilas, billabongs, some roo meat, all sorts of stuff.

[22:11] Wombats and what have you.

[22:14] The dingo ate his baby.

[22:15] He should have some sympathy.

[22:16] So anyway, Nicholas Cage, I'm just going to cut it as quick as I can.

[22:21] Sure.

[22:21] Because it's actually not bad.

[22:24] There's a lot of little incidents and things like that.

[22:25] Finally, Nicholas Cage, he can't track.

[22:28] He's been double-tricked again, and he can't find the taxi cab.

[22:31] The taxi guy switched out his GPS with another taxi, so there's no way of tracking this guy.

[22:37] No way.

[22:38] He's just going to have to meet him at the rendezvous spot in Abandoned Amusement Park with money in hand.

[22:43] But he doesn't have the money.

[22:44] But what does this guy love more than money?

[22:46] G-O-L-D.

[22:48] Gold.

[22:49] Gold.

[22:49] He only loves gold.

[22:52] He loves only gold.

[22:53] So it sounds like Nicolas Cage is going to have to steal himself some gold.

[22:57] He takes Malene Ackerman in.

[22:59] She doesn't say, just when I thought I was done, or something like that.

[23:02] But she should.

[23:03] I'm getting too old for this shit, even though I haven't aged in eight years.

[23:06] But she doesn't say that.

[23:07] But they have kind of an interesting plan to get the gold.

[23:10] they're gonna go beneath the floor of the gold vault melt through it and then melt the gold

[23:16] and it's gonna fall into sewer water and cool in big lumps that look like gold poop

[23:21] and they'll just put that in a duffel bag and carry it around looks like gold poop

[23:24] or rocks that have been spray painted gold i mean have you ever seen gold it looks like

[23:29] rocks that have been spray painted gold fair enough fair enough and it looks like dragon poop

[23:33] basically so they got this bag full of dragon poop the police are chasing after them they

[23:40] narrowly escaped the police by switching trucks and there's some more there's a bunch of good

[23:45] car flip stunts throughout the movie actually but uh all about flipping cars with you yeah i just

[23:51] love car flipping movies flip i'm always disappointed when i watch flip this house

[23:55] because the house never actually flips over it's like hello the title promised it there's no springs

[24:01] No kind of trebuchet.

[24:02] Nothing like a big lever.

[24:03] Nothing.

[24:04] That show Flip This Pancake is a little better.

[24:07] A little better.

[24:08] But it's not that exciting to see a pancake flip.

[24:09] No, it's not that stimulating.

[24:11] I mean, I could do that at home.

[24:14] Sure.

[24:14] And I do.

[24:15] That's your fetish.

[24:17] Nicolas Cage, yeah, is pancake flipping.

[24:20] The motion of a pancake flipping in midair.

[24:23] Oh, that's a real nice flip.

[24:25] The other side's getting all toasty now.

[24:28] Oh, you evenly distribute the heat on both sides.

[24:31] Put chocolate chips in there.

[24:33] Later on, you're going to get my belly.

[24:34] Anyway.

[24:36] Creepy.

[24:37] Anyway, they meet at the abandoned amusement park.

[24:42] Okay.

[24:43] Nicholas Cage finally confronts Josh Lucas face-to-face, leg-to-stump.

[24:48] And they have a big fight.

[24:51] Which is much crazier than you would expect.

[24:54] Nicolas Cage gets shot in the gut, and then Josh Lucas just jams his fingers into Nicolas Cage's bullet hole.

[24:59] It's not crazy, because it's not like a real good fight.

[25:02] It's just really kind of gross and brutal.

[25:04] It's more brutal than you expect at the end of a silly movie.

[25:07] Because meanwhile, also, Nicolas Cage's daughter is locked in the trunk of the car.

[25:12] Josh Lucas has poured gas all over and set it on fire.

[25:16] With a road flare.

[25:17] And Nicolas Cage's arm gets in the fire.

[25:20] He pushes Josh Lucas's face into the fire.

[25:23] And then he gets in the cab, drives it into the river, and then is about trying to let her out of the trunk.

[25:28] He's trying to let her out of the trunk, which, by the way, like, I don't know what his...

[25:31] I mean, I understand the first step of his plan, which was...

[25:33] Put out the fire.

[25:34] Put out this car fire.

[25:35] Priority one.

[25:36] Step number two is get my daughter out of the trunk of this locked car before she drowns.

[25:42] And he doesn't have the keys.

[25:43] I don't know exactly what his thought was.

[25:45] No, the key is still in the trunk.

[25:46] But he can't open it.

[25:48] Like, he's not, like...

[25:49] He's been shot in the stomach.

[25:52] turning the key at any point.

[25:53] He just seems like he's trying to open

[25:55] this locked trunk.

[25:56] He's like, oh, oh, oh.

[25:57] He assumes that in that moment

[25:58] he gets super strength

[26:00] because of the stress.

[26:01] My only weakness is a locked trunk.

[26:03] But then, Josh Lucas

[26:07] comes back for one final scare.

[26:09] Like your favorite horror movie monster,

[26:11] bursts out of the water,

[26:12] face all scarred up,

[26:15] all melty-faced,

[26:16] and they're fighting and fighting.

[26:17] Nicolas Cage beats him up

[26:19] and runs him through

[26:21] with a crowbar, right?

[26:23] Yeah, like a pry bar.

[26:25] Yeah, and then pry's open the trunk.

[26:27] Then Josh Lucas comes back again!

[26:29] We were all saying that it would have been better

[26:31] if he pried open the trunk with Josh Lucas' fake leg.

[26:34] If he had torn the fake leg off

[26:36] and then used that to pry the trunk open.

[26:37] Why introduce a fake leg if you're not going to use it

[26:39] to pry open the trunk?

[26:40] That's what Chekhov said.

[26:41] Exactly, that Chekhov did say that.

[26:43] The best moment was after...

[26:44] That's exactly how he phrased it, too.

[26:46] After stabbing Josh Lucas through the stomach

[26:48] and pushing him into the sinking trunk,

[26:51] He then closes the top of the trunk on him.

[26:53] Case closed, literally.

[26:56] He should have said, case closed.

[26:58] Or, case closed.

[27:01] But Nicolas Cage has this bullet wound.

[27:06] He's already said earlier in the movie, a bullet to the belly hurts a lot and you die slower.

[27:10] It's his greatest weakness.

[27:12] His one vulnerability, bullets to the belly.

[27:15] But the police helicopter arrives, cop in a hat is there.

[27:19] Cop in a half?

[27:21] and a half. It's Burt Reynolds

[27:23] with a little kid on his shoulders wearing a hat.

[27:25] That's my worst nightmare. A kid with a badge.

[27:27] They take him away and then

[27:31] we don't know. Did he survive?

[27:33] Wait, hold on. I also love

[27:34] the daughter's like,

[27:36] he's not going back to jail, is he?

[27:38] And Danny Houston's like, no, no.

[27:40] The other guy stole the money.

[27:42] The other guy stole that gold.

[27:44] Oh, you mean the guy whose body is drowned

[27:46] in a trunk right now? So he stole

[27:48] the gold and then he got in a trunk and killed himself?

[27:51] All of a sudden, Danny Houston gets very protective of Nicolas Cage, a man who, yes, he did this for justifiable reasons, but has, like, broken his parole many times over, running around, stealing things, shooting people.

[28:05] Even before then, you get the idea.

[28:06] A one-man army.

[28:06] He's OMAC, yeah.

[28:08] You get the idea that Danny Houston likes Nicolas Cage a little bit.

[28:11] No, he has affection for it, but—

[28:13] But then, by the end, he saved his daughter.

[28:15] You know, he only did what he did to save his daughter.

[28:18] It's the point at the end where the bad guy says,

[28:20] you know what, this good guy's been reformed.

[28:21] But it's a lot of covering up that has to be done.

[28:25] Oh, yeah.

[28:25] I mean, at least one cop has been killed.

[28:27] MC Ganey also.

[28:29] Not to mention tons of cars flipped over.

[28:32] Mardi Gras ruined.

[28:33] Yep, it's called off.

[28:36] Ray Nagin is like, you know what, cancel it.

[28:39] Forget it.

[28:40] Dr. John is crying.

[28:45] Just crying into his beard, I assume he has.

[28:48] He's weeping, muttering etoile to himself.

[28:51] But no, we don't know what it is.

[28:55] Takes his doctorate down from the wall, tears it up.

[28:57] Why did I study?

[28:59] Why did I study for seven years for this?

[29:01] Mondew.

[29:04] So he's basically Gambit at this point.

[29:08] Yeah, mon cheri.

[29:10] Anyway, he guarantees it.

[29:14] So anyway, then it cuts to Maylene Ackerman and the daughter are driving in a truck past a cemetery.

[29:20] Oh, no.

[29:21] Are they going to go visit Nicolas Cage's grave?

[29:23] No.

[29:24] Grave.

[29:25] His grave.

[29:27] Is he moldering a tomb?

[29:29] No.

[29:30] He is cooking up shrimp.

[29:32] It's the most half-hearted fake out you can imagine.

[29:33] It's because it barely lasts.

[29:35] And it's not even like they show him them driving up.

[29:37] It literally just cuts to Nicolas Cage walking out of a trailer.

[29:39] Hey, guys.

[29:40] It's great being alive, right?

[29:42] And not dead, which is what I'm not.

[29:44] They go, but it turns out Maylene Ackerman still has one of the lumps of dinosaur turd gold in the back of her truck.

[29:51] Nicolas Cage picks it up, and we see that he's being watched from a boat by Danny Houston and Danny Houston's second-in-command.

[29:57] Danny Houston's sidekick played by TV's Human Target.

[30:00] And wait a minute.

[30:01] What's Danny Houston doing here?

[30:02] Wait.

[30:04] Wearing a really cool – like a different hat?

[30:05] Wearing a different hat.

[30:06] They're also rooting for Nicolas Cage.

[30:09] They're under surveillance, and Nicolas Cage sees the lump of gold.

[30:12] And if he throws it away, then they don't have any evidence to catch him.

[30:15] But if he keeps it, they'll be able to throw him in jail.

[30:17] Then Houston's like, throw it away.

[30:18] Throw it away.

[30:19] And human targets are like, don't throw it away.

[30:21] Don't throw it away.

[30:22] What are they going to arrest him for, throwing gold?

[30:23] That's crazy.

[30:24] That's fucking crazy.

[30:25] Last time I checked, this is America.

[30:27] You can throw as much gold as you want.

[30:29] You make it rain gold.

[30:32] You can eat gold and poop it.

[30:34] Yeah, if you want.

[30:35] I hope you're watching the screen because you might not catch that.

[30:39] For about four seconds, there's a shot that it shows that there's a big stone, like, acorn sculpture or pinecone sculpture on the table.

[30:46] There's a gold lump-shaped pinecold on the table.

[30:49] What?

[30:50] Pinecold.

[30:51] Pinecold.

[30:52] It's like pine salt, but it makes things cold instead of sweet-smelling.

[30:55] It's what they spray pine trees with when they get too warm.

[30:59] The pinecold lady is like Mrs. Freeze.

[31:01] Mrs. Freeze?

[31:03] Wait, she's trapped in a thing so that Mr. Freeze has to try and get her out?

[31:08] Yeah, yeah, trapped in the thing.

[31:09] It's the thing that keeps her cold, right?

[31:12] So she doesn't turn into a dead body?

[31:14] Yeah, in an abandoned refrigerator.

[31:15] She was playing in it, and she got stuck inside.

[31:17] She didn't see that episode of Different Strokes, I guess.

[31:20] Yep.

[31:20] Or that G.I. Joe, the more you know about abandoned fridges.

[31:23] Anyway, Nicolas Cage finally decides to get rid of it,

[31:27] throws it the gold in the water, and Danny Houston's like,

[31:29] all right, now I can go back to my regular life.

[31:31] My regular life of hat wearing.

[31:33] No, he can throw his hat away at this point.

[31:36] I wish he then picked up his hat and lit it on fire and then threw it away.

[31:39] Threw it up into the air like Mary Tyler Moore.

[31:41] The hat flies away and says, my work here is done.

[31:44] Just like the feather at the end of Forrest Gump.

[31:46] Yeah, it's Pete's dragon.

[31:47] The hat's like, no, one day from retirement.

[31:49] My wife hat and I were going to hat around the world with my hat pension.

[31:57] But then it turns out, wait a minute.

[32:00] Nicolas Cage threw that big pine cone in the water.

[32:03] And he still has the gold.

[32:06] stolen is now over cue uh lalo schifrin style cop show now here's the thing this is a movie i'm just

[32:14] gonna tell you about the bat i liked this movie a lot it was super goofy and silly but it had some

[32:20] genuinely fun actiony scenes and the score was great it was like they lifted it wholesale from

[32:26] some 80s cop show including there's like parts where it's like

[32:29] $35 million, Elliot.

[32:36] Most of that went to hats, fake gold, Nicholas Cage.

[32:40] I assume most of that money went straight to Nicholas Cage's castle broker.

[32:44] And the IRS.

[32:47] Nicholas Cage, the original castle freak.

[32:50] That guy's a freak.

[32:54] How many of these have we done?

[32:55] How many of these have we done and you saved that from fucking gold?

[32:58] I can't believe.

[32:59] Yeah, we've found a new way to talk about Nicolas Cage

[33:01] and a new way to talk about Castle Freak.

[33:03] We're episode, what, 708?

[33:05] Yeah.

[33:06] We've been doing this for 100 years.

[33:08] You would have thought we would.

[33:09] We have giant Zardoz beards and fucking diapers on.

[33:13] There's never been a time we haven't been doing this podcast.

[33:15] Oh, it's like The Shining.

[33:16] There's a picture from the 20s of us doing this podcast.

[33:20] It was a radio show.

[33:22] We all had big mustaches.

[33:23] Every time we walk out, we see another version of us walking in.

[33:27] Oh, yeah, it's like Looper.

[33:29] oh you got a whole primer situation going on here uh so but i was just gonna say the music

[33:35] is adorably cheesy it's just so cop show cheesy and the characters are all it like this felt like

[33:42] an hour and 30 minute episode of either the danny houston cop in a hat show or the nicholas cage

[33:47] greatest bank robber show it was like a it was like if there was a hat cop show and there was

[33:52] a bank robber show and they did like a sweeps weeks crossover movie of the week oh oh that's

[33:57] That is what it feels like, like a McMillan and wife, like sort of a CBS mystery movie.

[34:04] Like this is a TV movie CBS would make so they could try to spin it off into a show,

[34:09] like the way they did with Kojak.

[34:12] I don't know if that was CBS, but the way Kojak was done.

[34:14] So like, and Columbo was the same way, I think.

[34:16] And Battlestar Galactica.

[34:18] Mystery show.

[34:20] Yeah, the classic mystery show, Battlestar Galactica.

[34:23] Turns out it's the Cylons, dude.

[34:27] There's a bunch of regular people, like high society types, and a Cylon in the room, and Detective Galactica.

[34:33] Detective B. Galactica.

[34:35] I think I know who did it.

[34:37] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[34:39] One more question.

[34:40] One thing I just couldn't understand.

[34:41] One more question, Mr. Cylon.

[34:43] So you're a killing machine robot.

[34:45] Oh, yes, I am.

[34:47] Case closed.

[34:48] You say you're a human being.

[34:51] Now, why are your eyes one red light that goes back and forth?

[34:56] Oh, I have a condition.

[34:57] Oh, that makes sense.

[34:58] That makes a lot of sense.

[34:59] Oh, just one more question.

[35:00] If you're a regular poison, why do you have big metal claws for hands?

[35:04] And why are you a robot?

[35:06] And the Cylon tries to jump out the window, but a cop leaps out of an ambush and tackles him.

[35:13] How did you know the Cylon was the one who did it?

[35:17] Let's just say I had a hunch.

[35:19] Oh, he's also a hunchback.

[35:21] So that pun, so it's always a pun at the end of the episode.

[35:24] Let's say I had a hunch.

[35:25] Elliot looks at the camera and says,

[35:27] Okay, it's closed.

[35:29] It's called Battlestar Galactica, Hunchback Detective.

[35:33] Stars the late Peter Falk and a Cylon.

[35:37] It's always a Cylon who did it.

[35:39] And he talks like the guy from the Stolen trailer.

[35:43] I don't think we're going to say anything that I'm going to enjoy more than that.

[35:50] I think we should go on to final judgments.

[35:53] although elliot i think i got my final judgment i mean does anyone have anything else to say the

[36:00] movie is like we all went into this movie i think hoping we would like it a little bit

[36:03] and i don't know about you guys but i certainly did so i'm gonna i'm gonna if we're doing final

[36:07] judgments i'm gonna say this is a movie i kind of liked yeah the official categories are good

[36:12] bad movie bad bad movie movie i kind of like this hovers i feel a little bit between good bad movie

[36:17] movie yeah i mean it's not it's like a good i would say it's a good like tv movie-ish thriller

[36:22] It's not as good a B-movie type quality movie as Premium Rush or something like that, for instance.

[36:27] But it's still a lot of fun.

[36:29] I mean, the characters are just running around flipping cars over.

[36:31] There's stuff in it that genuinely works, and then there's stuff in it that's super silly.

[36:36] But there's nothing in it that I was like, this is shitty.

[36:38] It's a bizarro world where Nicolas Cage can beat up two trained FBI field agents,

[36:43] and a one-legged guy can beat up a young, fit Australian guy.

[36:47] That's the other thing.

[36:48] Yeah, it takes place in this backwards place where the weak overpower the strong.

[36:54] Weak is strong and strong is weak.

[36:55] Yes.

[36:55] So there is a scene where Nicolas Cage is like with two FBI agents in an elevator and then escapes.

[37:01] And the elevator opens up and the FBI agents, I guess, wake up from their blackout and are handcuffed to the handrail in the elevator.

[37:09] It's like there's no way that – Nicolas Cage is what, like 55 at this point, maybe a little bit younger than that.

[37:14] There's no way he beat up these two guys.

[37:16] But, like, Nicolas Cage breaks his own thumb to get us some handcuffs at one point.

[37:20] This is Nicolas Cage, like, as an action star, which shouldn't work, but it kind of works.

[37:26] Just through sheer force of him.

[37:29] I mean, he's been an action star for quite a while, but he feels like he should have aged out.

[37:32] He's an action star that any scene requires him to run.

[37:35] It's like a stutter step.

[37:36] But also, he's not like a Jean-Claude Van Damme action star who, like, beats people up in fights.

[37:44] He's like a jumping from explosions action star.

[37:46] Yeah.

[37:47] He's not even a Bruce Willis normal guy action star.

[37:49] He's like, you know, if Adrian Brody was an action star, which I guess he is in some movies.

[37:54] Yeah, Predators.

[37:55] But there's something about Child Brothers.

[37:58] There's something about Nicolas Cage's sheer dedication to not giving a shit about most of the movie that sells it to me as an action star.

[38:09] He's very mumbly but in a fun way in this.

[38:11] Yeah.

[38:12] So what are you guys going to give your final judgments?

[38:14] He already gave his.

[38:16] Oh, that's right.

[38:16] I think I'll agree with Dan.

[38:18] I think it's a hair below movie I kind of liked and four hairs above.

[38:24] Good, bad.

[38:26] I didn't realize it was just five hairs separating that.

[38:29] Yeah, it's so close.

[38:30] It's like a gypsy's whisper.

[38:34] Such a thin line between sanity and insanity.

[38:38] Good and evil.

[38:39] We're two sides of the same coin, you and I.

[38:42] so uh the coin is it's a novelty you've got all the time in the world it's a novelty coin that

[38:47] i put our faces on i got it at the carnival this uh i thought we were just doing things

[38:53] that villains say to each other boy this is the part of the podcast where we answer letters from

[39:00] listeners it's called the flop house mailbag segment for letters from you the viewers to us

[39:07] The Flophouse in a bag mailed to us for the podcast called The Flophouse.

[39:13] No songs allowed, but I'll find some way to delay the letters.

[39:18] Segment rated R.

[39:20] Number one, April 8th, 2013, ad2.0.com.

[39:27] I didn't sign off on the name of this segment.

[39:29] Et cetera.

[39:29] I'm halfway through the name of the segment.

[39:32] No.

[39:33] All right.

[39:34] This letter is titled Flophouse TV.

[39:37] We have tuberculosis.

[39:39] It's from Ronnie, last name withheld.

[39:42] He writes, hello, Dan Stewart, Elliot Housecat, and Al Madrigal,

[39:45] who I assume is screening all of these emails after his hostile takeover.

[39:48] Yeah, yeah.

[39:49] He's sitting right there glaring at us.

[39:51] While I was sitting on the toilet and reading the latest Entertainment Weekly,

[39:54] Too much.

[39:55] which is how I receive all of my entertainment and weekly news,

[39:59] I noticed a new MTV show listing.

[40:02] It's a talk show co-hosted by none other than Flophouse guest host Sarah Schaefer.

[40:06] Episode 22, Vantage Point.

[40:08] That's true.

[40:09] Nikki and Sarah live on MTV.

[40:11] On MTV, Tuesday nights at 11 p.m.

[40:13] I recommend it highly.

[40:13] This made me wonder, why have the original peaches not penetrated the boob tube?

[40:18] What?

[40:19] Keep in mind, I don't consider Mr. Kalen and Mr. McCoy's cameos on The Daily Show full penetration.

[40:24] I mean, we...

[40:25] Although Mr. Wellington's videodrome experience does count.

[40:28] Oh, yeah, when you had that videotape in your belly?

[40:32] Yeah.

[40:32] And you had sex with Debbie Harry?

[40:33] Yeah, of course.

[40:34] I did all those things.

[40:35] So I further wondered.

[40:36] You said goodbye to the old flesh.

[40:37] Yeah, why do I need that flesh anymore?

[40:40] I've become one with a greater consciousness.

[40:42] So I further wondered,

[40:43] what kind of shows would be best tailored to you guys?

[40:45] Here are a few suggestions.

[40:46] Jazz.

[40:47] Kaylin hosting old-timey movies on Turner Classic Movies.

[40:50] That's a job I would definitely love.

[40:52] Stu and Housecat's story time on Nick Jr.,

[40:55] which would be summarily canceled after one episode

[40:57] for its frank sexual content.

[41:00] Dan McCoy would certainly be the third most popular newsman in the New York City area market.

[41:04] That's pretty—I mean, it's one of the two biggest media markets in the country.

[41:10] Sure.

[41:11] Along with Davenport.

[41:12] And, Ronnie, there's a postscript.

[41:14] He says, in a recent episode, Elliot pronounced John Constantine's name as Constantine instead of the actual correct pronunciation.

[41:21] See, it's not only Dan who gets words wrong.

[41:24] P.P.S., but it's still mostly Dan.

[41:26] Look, as long as I'm Jewish, I'm going to pronounce it John Constantine.

[41:29] properly pronounce Constantine.

[41:31] Wait, that didn't even sound like Cage.

[41:33] That sounded like a ghost was saying it.

[41:35] John Constantine.

[41:37] As you guys have already

[41:39] acknowledged, we've already been through

[41:41] Stewart's Ideal

[41:43] television vehicles. Jazz.

[41:45] What was it called?

[41:47] Stewart's Sex-Watching Pirate Show?

[41:49] Well, he describes other people

[41:51] having sex. Sex describer.

[41:52] He's a pirate who describes people having sex.

[41:55] I don't have a lot of words,

[41:57] so I have to use saxophone sounds.

[41:59] But it seemed worth pursuing, you know,

[42:05] like what our television vehicle should be.

[42:07] Yeah, sure.

[42:08] Well, mine would probably be a tricked-out ambulance like Ecto-1.

[42:11] But with a TV in it.

[42:13] That'd be my TV vehicle.

[42:15] What would yours be, Dan?

[42:17] What would your show be?

[42:17] I'll tell you what my show is afterwards.

[42:19] Wait, I have to...

[42:21] I thought we were casting each other.

[42:23] Oh, oh, oh, I see.

[42:23] Oh, well, Dan's would be called The Sci-Guy.

[42:26] It's about a single guy who also has a wife and a cat somehow, who just can't seem to get it together, even though he has a high-paying television job.

[42:33] So it's like The Single Guy.

[42:35] It's a slice of life.

[42:36] With Jonathan Silverman, is what you're saying.

[42:38] Yeah, basically, the late Ernest Borgnine plays Manny the doorman.

[42:41] The weird thing, though, you're also psychic, thus the double meaning of Psyguy.

[42:45] It's spelled P-S-Y-guy.

[42:46] But whenever you get a psychic message, you go, not again.

[42:51] And then you've got to do an adventure.

[42:53] That's probably how I'd react.

[42:55] Or you just don't do the adventure.

[42:57] If I'm tired, I probably wouldn't.

[42:59] And you just watch TV.

[43:00] And there's a sweep-sweep storyline where your knee gets hurt

[43:03] and then is invaded by the spirit of a killer.

[43:06] And your knee is sneaking out at night and killing people

[43:09] and then coming back to your leg.

[43:10] That's pretty good.

[43:12] So what would my show be?

[43:13] It's called The Psy Guy.

[43:14] Rated R.

[43:18] It's a rated R show.

[43:19] It's on Spice Channel.

[43:20] A lot of hardcore sex, but you don't get to do any of it.

[43:25] uh what if ellie does ellie could be like a doctor who style uh show where like uh

[43:31] a criminologist a mentalist what yeah like doctor who mentalist criminal

[43:37] the doctor is no i'm imagining him traveling through time i like it old hollywood wait i

[43:42] don't get it he's a doctor that travels through time oh boy so i can sleep with all my favorite

[43:47] star crushes who have been dead for years and i'm the pervazoid but wait i mean he's just talking

[43:54] What about sleeping with dead bodies, I think?

[43:55] No, no, no, they were living people.

[43:56] I would go back to when they were still alive.

[43:58] So you're going to make them live again?

[44:00] No, I'm going back in time.

[44:01] It's called Elliot Kalin Starfucker.

[44:02] Each week I have sex with a different star of old Hollywood.

[44:07] Clark Gable, Spencer Tracy, Rita Hayworth.

[44:11] Clark Gable again, because he was that good.

[44:14] Elliot's like, I don't care.

[44:16] I'm a straight man, but these are the stars of old Hollywood.

[44:19] Come on, I'm not going to pass.

[44:20] If Clark Gable comes on to me, that's a story I'm going to eat at dinner out with.

[44:24] up for a long time wait did you just say eat out yeah on that story okay and no it would go like

[44:30] this ingrid bergman myrna lloyd theresa wright that would be my order that seems pretty good so

[44:35] then we get start throwing some other stars how about your louise brooks yeah louise brooks sure

[44:40] uh anime wong definitely uh elliot gould you got it uh but no mustache he has to shave it off

[44:50] It tickles him.

[44:51] George Segal with mustache.

[44:54] So this next letter.

[44:57] Wait, what's the name of it?

[44:58] It's called Starfucker?

[44:58] Ellie Kane and the Starfucker?

[44:59] Ellie Kane and the Starfucker.

[45:00] This next letter is titled, Help Me Get Revenge.

[45:04] Okay, I like the start of this one.

[45:05] Sounds like Stuart Sally.

[45:07] I'm going to have trouble pronouncing it.

[45:09] First one, practice hugging people but frowning while you do it.

[45:12] I apologize for mispronouncing this.

[45:15] Adjahar, last name withheld.

[45:19] So this is, he says, recently my best friend invited me to a ceremony.

[45:24] A seance.

[45:25] Where he took command of a Navy SEAL team.

[45:28] Oh, wow.

[45:28] Nothing wrong with that in and of itself.

[45:30] However, during the ceremony, he took several thinly veiled jabs at me and my Green Beret brothers.

[45:37] Since he was at the podium and I was standing at attention.

[45:40] Super intimidated already.

[45:42] The fact that this is a Navy SEAL and a Green Beret with a beef is really more than we can handle.

[45:48] Outnumbered 50 to 1 by seals, I was completely helpless.

[45:51] I have since been plotting against him, conducting covert reconnaissance of his house while seemingly babysitting his children.

[45:57] Studying his weaknesses of character, he seems to drink a lot of beer, and weaknesses of body, definitely balding, but how can I use that against him?

[46:04] Alas, I was...

[46:06] Stab him in the head.

[46:06] He no longer has the hair.

[46:09] The hair forms a protective crust.

[46:11] The hair would cushion the blow.

[46:12] Alas, I was shipped off...

[46:14] A protective crust.

[46:15] What is in your hair, Dan?

[46:16] I thought you would describe it as a crust.

[46:19] At last I would shift off to Afghanistan before I could deliver a devastating blow to his solar plexus,

[46:25] but also before he could inflict further emotional harm against me, or so I thought.

[46:29] Uh-oh.

[46:31] Last week I was forced to watch Act of Valor.

[46:33] Truly one of the worst movies ever made.

[46:35] Incompetent, boring, surprisingly unrealistic.

[46:38] I can't prove it, but I think my friend forced his men to film this monstrosity

[46:43] just so I'd be tortured by it later.

[46:45] Not the first movie that would be made just to torture somebody else with it.

[46:48] You may be thinking, we can't make fun of SEALs.

[46:51] They're American heroes.

[46:52] Surely that does not include anyone involved in the making of Act of Valor.

[46:55] Or Andre.

[46:56] It's a movie about a SEAL.

[46:58] Yeah, I was going to say, right?

[47:00] We're talking about the soldiers or the animals?

[47:03] Please help out a battle-hardened special forces operator

[47:06] who does not have the ability or wits to effectively make fun of his friend.

[47:09] You must fight my fight for me.

[47:11] I believe in you.

[47:12] Please trash Act of Valor for America and Jesus at 9-11.

[47:16] Wow, that's a lot of pressure.

[47:18] That's a lot of pressure, but I think we may have to take him up on that at some point.

[47:21] I mean, you do put your finger on the problem.

[47:25] Which is, we would feel bad making fun of non-professional actors or actual Navy SEALs.

[47:31] If I'm going to make fun of a former soldier, I'm going to make fun of that guy in Battleship that knocks that alien's teeth out.

[47:36] Wait, was he actually a former soldier?

[47:38] Yeah, that's how he lost his legs.

[47:40] yeah he didn't lose them to nicholas cage shooting his legs off or something real sensitive dan no

[47:45] but it's true we would feel bad making making fun of especially the acting of guys who are not

[47:50] actors who are there for other skills so i think so this is my idea i don't know if we can do act

[47:55] of valor because we're just civilians and we would get beat up here's what you do there's classic

[48:01] revenge never goes wrong ever rig it so your friend is elected prom queen then when she gets

[48:07] He gets up on the stage, dump a bunch of pig's blood on him.

[48:10] Never goes wrong.

[48:11] Yeah, that all worked perfectly.

[48:12] Classic revenge.

[48:13] We all watched Carrie, and we paused the tape when that happened.

[48:16] We high-fived each other.

[48:18] Oh, that nerd got what came for him.

[48:20] And then we fell asleep.

[48:21] Then credits roll.

[48:23] Or, like the show Revenge, you could be something I never watch and therefore don't know anything about.

[48:28] Classic revenge.

[48:32] So we'll think about Act of Valor, but we would have to get a letter from the president that said it's okay for us to make fun of Navy SEALs.

[48:39] Obama, the ball's in your court.

[48:40] President Obama.

[48:43] Your ball is in your president court.

[48:45] So this next letter is from...

[48:49] But thanks for listening, even from overseas.

[48:50] Appreciate it.

[48:51] This next letter is from Elle Kennedy, and she writes,

[48:55] I absolutely adore you guys.

[48:58] Whenever I'm in deadline hell, the podcast cheers me right up.

[49:01] That would be a good movie about a newspaper run by the devil.

[49:06] Okay, I like it.

[49:07] Deadline Hell.

[49:07] Starring Meryl Streep as the Deadline.

[49:10] Hold on.

[49:12] Yep.

[49:12] And Paul Reubens as the Hell.

[49:14] How weird.

[49:15] So she writes...

[49:16] They fall in love.

[49:17] Okay.

[49:18] They have a child.

[49:19] That child's a dinosaur.

[49:20] God damn it.

[49:22] Dinosaur.

[49:22] A sour dinosaur.

[49:24] That child's a dino saucer.

[49:27] Elle continues to write,

[49:30] Oh, I think Nick Cage has blinded you to the gem that is Billy Zane.

[49:33] You've got to do another Zane movie soon.

[49:36] You mean Nick Cage.

[49:36] Oh, yeah.

[49:38] Well, we should do another Zane movie.

[49:39] Yeah.

[49:39] She says, check out Survival Ireland.

[49:41] It's a real treat.

[49:43] Sounds like a porno.

[49:44] And the main chick shows her boobs.

[49:46] Anyway, give up the hilarious work, Elle.

[49:48] Well, who's the main chick, though?

[49:49] First of all, the main chick has a name.

[49:51] Her name is Kelly Brooke.

[49:52] Oh, okay.

[49:53] Well, that's certainly a fine woman's boobs.

[49:54] And we're all familiar with her boobs from Piranha, the movie that we saw.

[50:00] For Elliot's bachelor party

[50:02] No it was the day of my wedding

[50:03] Literally the day that we saw

[50:06] He was thinking about that movie

[50:08] When he said his vows

[50:10] Yeah well they're prayers technically

[50:12] It's a Jewish wedding

[50:13] On the morning of my wedding

[50:15] All of us went to go see Piranha 3D

[50:17] And true story at this very moment

[50:19] I still keep the ticket stub in my wallet

[50:20] Because it was the best day of my life

[50:23] Number one because of the wedding

[50:24] Number two Piranha 3D with my pals

[50:26] Also I had Popeyes for lunch

[50:29] and to this moment i keep the memory of kelly brooke naked in my brain so there's that too

[50:34] there's that too i mean the wedding you've forgotten yeah oh man i gotta make room for

[50:38] other stuff there are other boobs to think about uh but uh i i i gave al kennedy's a full name

[50:44] though because i wanted to say she uh in her signature she says the she's the author of the

[50:50] killer instincts and out of uniform series what now uh mentioning navy seals before i went to her

[50:57] website the tagline for the out of uniform series of romance novels that she wrote is uh give a seal

[51:06] an inch and he'll take your heart oh and uh are you sure it's not about andre the performing seal

[51:12] some of the titles to these uh these novels uh you got your hot and heavy okay classic hot and

[51:18] bothered uh-oh feeling hot a lot of hot getting hotter you should take those uniforms off if

[51:24] They're so hot all the time.

[51:25] I think that's what they're going to do.

[51:26] And hotter than ever.

[51:27] And I have a picture of one of the covers.

[51:31] I got the cover shoot getting hotter here.

[51:33] That guy is shredded like lettuce.

[51:35] Look at the fucking cum gutters on that guy.

[51:37] Shredded like a Ninja Turtle.

[51:38] That guy has super abs.

[51:42] So if you're a Flophouse lady fan who's looking for some sweet Navy SEAL romance action.

[51:47] Or a Navy SEAL who's fantasizing about their fellow Navy SEALs.

[51:50] They repeal, don't ask, don't tell.

[51:52] We're equal opportunity.

[51:52] Sure.

[51:53] Or if you just want to read about the thing that somebody else will be reading if they're fantasizing about you.

[51:58] If you're a Navy SEAL.

[51:59] Wait a minute, I got confused.

[52:00] If you're a Navy SEAL and you want to project yourself into the story.

[52:03] Okay, Ninja Turtles.

[52:05] He said something about a Ninja Turtle.

[52:06] It's the idea of someone else being turned on by you.

[52:08] And who is not turned on by that?

[52:10] Yeah.

[52:10] Then go to lkennedy.com and check out these series of romance novels.

[52:16] Maybe we'll get a set and give it away as a gift pack for the latest Flophouse contest winner.

[52:21] Which one's that?

[52:21] Do we have a contest going on?

[52:23] Dan, you remember.

[52:23] What's that contest?

[52:24] No, we don't have a contest going on.

[52:25] Although I was thinking that we should have another one where the listener gets to name the movie that we review.

[52:32] We haven't done one of those in a while.

[52:33] Oh, that's right.

[52:33] We should do another one of those.

[52:34] She reminded me of – those titles reminded me of my favorite ever romance title that I saw when I worked at Barnes & Nobles.

[52:40] It was called Millionaire Cop and Pregnant Mom-to-Be.

[52:44] And I thought, perfect.

[52:48] Everything I need is right in the title.

[52:49] Right up there with the Billionaires and Babies series.

[52:53] so uh this last letter what was the what was the url for that website again it's l kennedy

[52:58] that l the letter or e l l e e l l e as it like uh like the magazine l okay sure okay there's also

[53:06] an l magazine in new york city uh like like elwood's star of uh legally blonde let's say

[53:12] okay um i thought her name was just l period e l l e okay kennedy kennedy like the president

[53:22] For romance novels.

[53:23] Yeah.

[53:24] Thank you for writing in.

[53:25] For all your romance novels needs.

[53:26] Thank you for everybody for writing in.

[53:28] Oh, are there more letters?

[53:28] There's one more letter for the evening, and it's titled, Good Directors, Bad Movies.

[53:33] It's from Andrew Last Name Withheld.

[53:35] He writes, Dear House Cat et al., listening to the Paperboy episode got me thinking about

[53:42] one of my favorite directors, no, not Lee Daniels.

[53:45] Daniel Lee.

[53:47] I'm a huge Pedro Almodovar fan, and the idea of him almost directing a trashy American knockoff of his other work is weirdly upsetting to me.

[53:55] I feel like an Almodovar paperboy would have been so bad it could have made me love all of his movies a lot less.

[54:01] Suddenly I'd be re-watching Bad Education or Talk to Her, and I'd just imagine the whole thing in English with mumbly accents, weird camera dissolves, and Gail Garcia Bernal getting peed on.

[54:11] That would have been a much better scene.

[54:14] Has a director ever made a movie or run of movies that's such a grotesque self-parody that it made his or her earlier better films seem so much worse to you in retrospect?

[54:23] A common example of this might be Wes Anderson before he won most people back with Moonrise Kingdom or Woody Allen at various points in his career.

[54:30] I feel like Woody Allen is a go-to and another one is Steven Spielberg where some of his recent movies have just been not – he set such a high standard with a lot of his earlier movies and his more recent ones are so mixed and uneven.

[54:44] Yeah, I mean, I don't know that there's like...

[54:45] But I don't know that I'd like his older ones less as a result.

[54:48] It's hard to think of a director where the problem is that his movies are such a grotesque parody of themselves

[54:55] that they make you like his earlier movies less.

[54:58] I mean, I don't have that feeling with Wes Anderson.

[55:01] I can understand that kind of criticism more with him.

[55:04] It's more that often, you know, directors only have a certain number of good movies in them sometimes.

[55:11] like no one bats you know 100 i i that was a terrible i don't know how to use sports metaphors

[55:18] no no yeah they bet 100 but no one you know like no one knows the best record is that a possible

[55:23] thing to have is that a hundred percent of something no one's great wait a minute i don't

[55:27] even think that's likely i mean like i tried to watch um alfred hitchcock's topaz recently and i

[55:33] could not get through there's one good sequence in that it's not very it's the rest is not very

[55:37] good nobody i mean there's the only directors you could say have all good movies are the ones that

[55:42] like died young basically yeah um but even like you got guys like francis ford coppola who made

[55:49] some of the best movies like the godfather is arguably the best movie ever and the conversation

[55:55] is amazing apocalypse now is amazing but then he made a lot of movies like jack that are not so

[56:01] amazing bram stoker's dracula bram stoker's dracula which is when he put a lot of work into

[56:05] too like that was not a work for hire job but they're also like their directors like tim burton

[56:09] who uh like have their work has oh yeah that's my answer tim burton timber but he's the thing

[56:15] with timber that's maybe you're right that's the one where the deficiencies of his later work show

[56:20] up the weaknesses of his earlier work because he's such an he's such a good visual stylist but

[56:25] he's not a great storyteller and so when his style got boring it was like oh wait a minute

[56:30] Now that sort of a breathtaking visual style is so easy to achieve with CGI and it becomes dull, like what was once idiosyncratic as mainstream and he hasn't moved past it.

[56:43] Like something like Alice in Wonderland is nothing but visuals, but they're all kind of like ugly, samey CGI visuals.

[56:50] Well, and especially when you've influenced so many young directors.

[56:53] Yeah.

[56:54] When so much of the goth movement feels like it comes out of his designs, you know.

[57:00] yep like robert smith and tim burton pretty much yeah i feel like i feel like robert smith and

[57:05] edward scissorhands are basically where that comes from and like once everything looks like that you

[57:11] know it's it loses its its uniqueness but a lot of his earlier stuff when you go back like

[57:17] beetlejuice is still great yeah you look back and look like the batman movies he did are not very

[57:21] good you know but the best stuff from his early career i think is the craziest the stuff where

[57:26] there is no kind of rational design to it it is really just his brain spilling out in a movie

[57:33] like beetlejuice or something i mean like there's less tim burton necessarily as the auteur of it

[57:40] but like peewee's big adventure is a is a great clash between his sensibility and paul rubin's

[57:45] sensibility and that's it works really amazing and for a long time i would have said that the

[57:50] coen brothers had pretty much as close to a perfect record as anybody else but then they

[57:53] kind of had a run of stinkers just a couple in a row and that was enough to throw it off you know

[57:58] but they're still as as they're still got one of the higher averages i would think yeah

[58:04] um probably the highest average would be jean vigo sure i was gonna say stewart gordon

[58:11] oh yeah sure stewart gordon too i mean i mean that's a thousand percent but like guys who made

[58:18] like a movie three movies like or like when jean vigo is basically like one full movie and a couple

[58:25] of shorts like that's a pretty good way to keep your your average up is to make a bunch of good

[58:30] movies like that and then die so um so this is the last segment on the podcast where we recommend

[58:35] something that you might like to watch usually in contrast to what we watched what about the

[58:41] segment where we create a resolution to become better people for the next episode and then the

[58:46] next episode we report on it that's been cut oh boy so we're just jerks again huh

[58:50] you're off the chain elliot off the chain star fucker elliot unchained coming this may

[58:58] star fun rated r rated nc-17 they brought back the x rating for it oh wow and it's on tv it's

[59:07] on abc family yeah okay it's very strange but you know hey they put up the money it's weird

[59:12] Did they say ABC Family because they want the whole family to be there?

[59:15] Because actually the original name of the channel was ABC Head of the Family.

[59:19] Oh, I'm listening.

[59:22] But unfortunately too many people messed with the head, and you know what happens then.

[59:26] There's too much new Jack LaValle and the FCC shut it down.

[59:31] And too much new Jack London.

[59:32] Anyway, so what's this segment about?

[59:34] This segment is Recommendations.

[59:37] Usually a contrast to the movie we watch, but in a week.

[59:40] Turn off your listening device.

[59:41] In a week where we watch Stolen.

[59:43] I don't know if there's a better movie that we can recommend, but we'll try.

[59:46] I think, yeah, we probably can find a better movie.

[59:49] Stu Ratt, what do you have?

[59:50] Okay.

[59:51] This might be a little contentious.

[59:54] You guys all know me.

[59:57] I'm a bit of a, what they might call a gore hound.

[1:00:00] I'm going to recommend a movie titled Universal Soldier Day of Reckoning.

[1:00:08] I think the seventh movie in the Universal Soldier series.

[1:00:12] Based on the song of the same name.

[1:00:13] I am already expecting big fans of the Unisol mythos to be writing in as we speak.

[1:00:19] Unisol?

[1:00:19] It sounds like an all-purpose cleaner.

[1:00:21] I know, right?

[1:00:22] But that's what it's called.

[1:00:23] So Universal Soldier, Day of Reckoning, it's a later sequel.

[1:00:29] It does have Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, and some other dudes in it.

[1:00:33] So just the two of them?

[1:00:35] Wait, real quick.

[1:00:36] this is a movie that uh let's see uh up tall dos a user of imdb describes as not universal soldier

[1:00:46] avoid at all costs and another one dan cardozo underscore 22 says let me just say this is in

[1:00:53] fact the worst universal soldier movie ever wait but somehow you like glowing recommendations uh

[1:00:59] it's no it's actually pretty good it it's a movie that like plays around with the like i guess the

[1:01:05] background it's surprisingly well it's very violent it's always the original universal

[1:01:11] soldier was uh kind of a a fun sci-fi action almost horror movie and this romp yeah uh with

[1:01:20] a with a breakout performance by a young kid named dolph mungren not at all but um this this

[1:01:27] latest universal soldier movie uh it kind of feels a little bit like if uh universal soldier

[1:01:32] uh maybe one uh lost highway or another david lynch movie and the raid colon redemption managed

[1:01:40] to have some kind of weird baby uh the action's really horrific and violent and uh there's a lot

[1:01:47] of weird slow moments that uh take on almost a dreamlike quality and it's got a very uh very low

[1:01:53] budget uh but it manages to be if anything kind of interesting and for me it works almost like

[1:01:59] a metaphor for violent action

[1:02:01] movies in general.

[1:02:02] Check it out if you're looking for a super weird,

[1:02:05] super gory and violent movie.

[1:02:07] I'm going to break with the rules because

[1:02:10] I haven't seen movies that I enjoyed

[1:02:13] since our last taping.

[1:02:15] Is that because they were

[1:02:17] bad movies or because you are a curmudgeon?

[1:02:19] Probably both.

[1:02:20] I watched a couple of pilots

[1:02:23] that I enjoyed, so I'm going to

[1:02:25] recommend a couple of television shows.

[1:02:27] I don't know whether they're going to maintain, but I enjoyed the first episodes.

[1:02:31] I watched Hannibal.

[1:02:34] Okay.

[1:02:35] Everyone's mad about Mads.

[1:02:37] Everybody is mad about Mads.

[1:02:39] It's hard not to be.

[1:02:41] Look at him with those chiseled Danish looks.

[1:02:44] It had a lot of the sort of serial killer bullshit that normally bothers me,

[1:02:49] namely a profiler who walks into a scene of a crime

[1:02:53] and basically knows what happened immediately,

[1:02:56] This was some kind of Valhalla Rising in here.

[1:02:59] But it somehow made that character work by making him more of a damaged live wire,

[1:03:07] empathetic to the point of having trouble surviving in the world character.

[1:03:14] And it genuinely felt creepy in the way that a serial killer entertainment hasn't done in a while.

[1:03:21] and i also enjoyed a bbc american show by the name of orphan black about a woman who encounters a uh

[1:03:30] her exact double on a subway platform right before she commits suicide the double or her um the

[1:03:36] double commits suicide and she steps into the doubles of life because of problems in her own

[1:03:41] uh existence and soon finds that she's at the center of some sort of weird conspiracy and she

[1:03:48] has twice the problems she had before uh and it's a fun show so those are the two that i would

[1:03:55] recommend so hannibal and orphan black yeah and i'm going to recommend a movie that i saw in light

[1:04:00] because this is a movie podcast thanks for clarifying i thought this was uh what the

[1:04:05] boob tube the tube cast uh the tube house uh which is actually about tube tops we love them you wear

[1:04:13] Let's Talk, The Tube House.

[1:04:15] Bare shoulders, thumbs up.

[1:04:17] I'm going to recommend a documentary movie.

[1:04:21] This is a real-life movie, kind of.

[1:04:23] It's called Room 237, and it's gotten a little bit of buzz.

[1:04:27] It's a documentary about the movie.

[1:04:29] Because it's about bees.

[1:04:30] It's called A Bee Story.

[1:04:32] It's called a bee movie.

[1:04:33] Room 237, it's a documentary about The Shining, but not about the making of the movie.

[1:04:39] It's about – there's five different people whose interpretations of the film are gone into in great detail, and their interpretations are, to say the least, wrong.

[1:04:52] And they range from the semi-plausible that the movie is a metaphor for either the Holocaust or the killing of the Native Americans by the American government to the very implausible that this is the movie that Stanley Kubrick made to reveal to the world that he faked the moon landing or this one woman who just kind of says stuff about minotaurs and children that don't really make any sense.

[1:05:13] But what the movie is really about – and you don't – there's no – the only narration in this movie is from the people telling their theories.

[1:05:21] You don't see them on screen.

[1:05:22] All the footage from the movie is either taken from The Shining or other movies,

[1:05:27] and there's a little bit that I think was shot for this film in a movie theater.

[1:05:30] But for the most part, it's all footage that's been edited and slowed down or reversed or looped.

[1:05:37] And it's a really fascinating movie about how people can take a movie like The Shining

[1:05:43] and read so much into it and devote so much of their time and energy to puzzling out

[1:05:48] what they assume are very deliberate hidden meanings put there by this godlike director

[1:05:53] stanley kubrick who has control over every detail on screen at any given moment and every single

[1:05:59] instance of anything in the movie and just kind of a fascinating look at how people wrap themselves

[1:06:03] up in a film and get lost in it and the way that it's edited i thought was really interesting and

[1:06:08] seems to me one of the few documentaries i've seen in a movie theater that felt like it had

[1:06:13] taking the lessons of the documentaries you see on like youtube where they will replay footage

[1:06:18] where they all zoom in on things where they'll like create computer models that fit the footage

[1:06:24] like all sorts of different things and the music in it sounds like the kind of music that john

[1:06:27] carpenter writes for his movies with like a lot of keyboard and stuff and synthesizer it's all

[1:06:32] super awesome so the whole thing it's really good and it creates this kind of hypnotic spell

[1:06:37] all around the shining this movie that is basically like a good kind of high class horror movie and at

[1:06:43] the end it feels like these people are trying to rationalize to themselves why they like this movie

[1:06:47] that like they can't like a movie that has a bunch of skeletons in it and an elevator full of blood

[1:06:51] there must be some deeper meaning to it and they seem to be kind of fooling themselves in ever

[1:06:56] descending circles why don't they just ask uh stanley cooper to explain it well he died about

[1:07:01] 20 years ago and everyone who knew stanley cooper who was yes and everyone since then since the movie

[1:07:08] came out everyone who is involved in the shining seems to be saying this is total crap none of

[1:07:12] these things these people are saying are true but the point of it is not whether these theories

[1:07:15] someone got to them yeah stanley kubrick's ghost stanley boobrick wait a minute no no

[1:07:23] he's a ghost he's not no not the chestiest ghost around no uh but it's it's a really

[1:07:31] fascinating movie and a really hypnotic and it made me really want to watch the shining again

[1:07:34] which honestly is not a feeling i've had in 11 years so uh it was really good i recommend it

[1:07:40] room 237 guys so a couple of solid recommendations yep you mean you guys right because you're mad at

[1:07:49] me for no no we're not mad i mean it's maybe a little mad about you we are mad about you dan

[1:07:54] not as mad as we are about mads but we're mad about mccoy yep same way uh helen hunt was mad

[1:08:03] about paul reiser except uh let's just keep going well you know whenever we talk about a nicholas

[1:08:12] cage film it's like christmas but christmas has to end does it and so does the flop house

[1:08:18] um wait are you breaking up with this is the last episode are you dumping us

[1:08:23] i found it

[1:08:24] from now on i'm in love with how did this get made wait what is this a bit for the flop out

[1:08:36] i've been dan mccoy okay uh i guess i'm stewart wellington and i'm elliot caylin the end question

[1:08:44] mark good night everyone good night what

[1:08:54] i didn't know you had the hazing on dvd awesome that's relatively recent development that is an

[1:09:09] awesome purchase awesome lovers of pumpkin butts and brad dorif sounds like a character from a

[1:09:14] james bond movie awesome purchase uh even pumpkin butt we haven't talked about tiffany

[1:09:18] She ever says Pumpkin Butt in a long time.

[1:09:20] Aw, Pumpkin Butt.

[1:09:22] Pumpkin Butt, I knew you were behind this.

[1:09:25] I detected your foul stench when I got on the way.

[1:09:29] No, why is James Wan talking like Princess Leia?

[1:09:32] The game's over, Pumpkin Butt.

[1:09:35] Is that what they call me?

[1:09:39] That's so hurtful.

The Flop House: Episode #124 - Stolen

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