The Flop House: Episode #135 - Olympus Has Fallen

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss White House debt, I mean, Olympus has fallen.

[0:31] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:35] So, here at the Flophouse...

[0:37] No, no, no, no.

[0:38] You gotta say your name first.

[0:40] Yeah.

[0:41] Okay, wait, what? Who are you?

[0:43] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:44] Yeah.

[0:45] And I'm...

[0:46] And you're the...

[0:47] And I'm...

[0:48] And I'm Elliot Kalin, if this ID I found in my pocket when I woke up this morning is correct.

[0:54] If we sound extra rusty, it's because we actually haven't been together for a while.

[0:59] We often start these podcasts by lying and saying, oh, it's been a while.

[1:04] But in this case, it actually has been. It's been over a month since we recorded.

[1:07] We usually record every two weeks, but we stockpiled...

[1:09] It's all fiction.

[1:10] We stockpiled a bunch of episodes because we knew we had a lot of...

[1:13] Banked them.

[1:14] We had a lot of life to do. We had a lot of living left to do.

[1:16] We got a lot of living to do.

[1:19] And it's been a few weeks ago since Elliot missed Sylvester Stallone appearing on the podcast.

[1:27] I can't believe I was out of the room for that.

[1:28] Now, were you able...

[1:30] Now, you just got back from a USO tour.

[1:32] How did the troops love your recreation of that moment?

[1:35] How did they love your Sylvester Stallone impression?

[1:37] Man, in Afghanistan, I got so...

[1:39] I was in Afghanistan for a USO tour.

[1:41] I got so much razzing...

[1:42] Spoiler alert.

[1:43] Not a spoiler alert. It happened already.

[1:45] Okay.

[1:46] I got so much razzing from the troops for missing Stallone.

[1:49] But when I...

[1:50] Because they love him over there.

[1:51] Yeah, yeah, and they did not appreciate my reenactments.

[1:53] They consider it sacred, and they thought I was defacing their prophet.

[1:58] I don't know why you're looking at me.

[2:00] I was not in Afghanistan.

[2:02] I was looking at you so you could explain what this fucking podcast is about.

[2:06] Oh, sorry.

[2:07] This podcast is a podcast where we listen to a bad movie.

[2:11] We listen to a bad movie and try to imagine what the pictures look like.

[2:14] It's called the blind cast.

[2:15] We like to pretend we're blind and see what it's like to be inside another person's perspective.

[2:20] Sure.

[2:21] Walk a mile in their shoes.

[2:22] Stuart, did you feel that your other senses became heightened to compensate for your lack of sight?

[2:26] Yes.

[2:27] What did the movie smell like?

[2:28] It smelled...

[2:30] Well, it smelled like a lot of blood splatter.

[2:33] Uh-oh.

[2:34] And aftershave.

[2:35] What movie could this have been?

[2:36] We watched a bad movie to talk about it.

[2:39] We watched it all over the place.

[2:40] We watched a bad movie because they are filthy.

[2:43] So it's a charity thing.

[2:44] So, Dan, in this podcast, we watch a bad movie, then we talk about it.

[2:47] Yeah, and the movie we watched tonight was titled Olympus Has Fallen.

[2:52] Oh, no.

[2:53] Does it have the medic alert bracelet?

[2:54] No.

[2:55] Can it contact a health professional to help you get up?

[2:57] I'll tell you what.

[2:58] It can get up.

[2:59] Good one, dude.

[3:00] Thank you.

[3:01] Because Gerard Butler is on the case.

[3:02] Sam Worthington was not in this.

[3:03] No.

[3:04] Gremlin Battler is.

[3:05] Gerard Butler was in it.

[3:08] Yeah.

[3:09] Your own Gerhardt Bumler.

[3:12] Yeah, we watched the prequel to White House Downs.

[3:16] Jerry Bumstead.

[3:17] I wish it was a prequel to White House Downs.

[3:19] They just kept going, again?

[3:21] Seriously?

[3:22] That was last week.

[3:23] Also, the two movies take place a week apart.

[3:25] And every once in a while.

[3:26] We've elected a new president in between times.

[3:28] A really old Forrest Whitaker walks through the scene and throws a tray full of a tea set up in the air.

[3:34] Yeah, the butler is there.

[3:35] And he goes up to Gerard Butler and he says, I'm a real butler.

[3:37] Yeah.

[3:38] They look at the camera and then my eyeballs explode out of my head and I die.

[3:42] Yeah, from awesomeness.

[3:43] Yeah.

[3:44] So Olympus has what, Dan?

[3:47] Fallen.

[3:48] Oh, no.

[3:49] Rated R.

[3:50] Is playing at right here.

[3:52] And it was awesome.

[3:54] I wonder if you're going to feel the same way later on.

[3:57] Let's talk about it a little more.

[3:58] So this was one of the two White House taken by terrorists movies that came out recently.

[4:02] And the other one, White House Downs, seemed like a lot of people surprisingly liked it.

[4:07] I haven't seen it yet, but they see it.

[4:08] So it was very light in tone, very goofy and knowingly silly that it's such a ridiculous premise.

[4:13] This movie seemed to take the opposite tack of treating this terrorist takeover of the White House as if it actually happened.

[4:19] Yeah, this movie seemed like you took the West Wing, the television show, like took all the portent and pomp of the White House.

[4:29] There was so much.

[4:30] And then married it to a sub diehard action film.

[4:34] The score alone, it's all like heavy drums and like sad trumpets and patriotic stirring themes.

[4:41] And you see a lot of waving American flags.

[4:43] And you just want to like shake the director, Antoine Fuqua, and maybe like, you know, this didn't actually happen, right?

[4:48] Like you're not making a movie about Guadalcanal.

[4:52] Like this is about a made up hostage thing where you have one man on his own trying to fight terrorists in the White House.

[4:57] Like it's basically diehard in the White House and they thought they were making Saving Private Ryan.

[5:02] Yeah, like there will be a scene where the president gets up to just walk into the other room and there's a huge music swell.

[5:09] And ten different people salute him, et cetera, et cetera.

[5:13] And the body count in the movie is enormous.

[5:15] And they're never going to –

[5:17] They killed everyone in America in this movie, it seems like.

[5:20] No one dies off screen. Everybody dies on screen.

[5:23] You get to see so many people get bullets shot through their bodies and blood splatter.

[5:27] Like if a guy gets shot, the next scene, you're like, oh, he just got shot in the torso.

[5:30] This movie had more bullets to the head than bullet to the head.

[5:33] Yeah, way more.

[5:34] If a guy gets shot in the torso, the next shot will be –

[5:37] Him being shot in the head.

[5:38] Yeah, Gerard Butler walking up and just shooting him right in the face.

[5:41] Really casually, like really like, oh, OK, I'm just walking out of this guy just to be sure.

[5:46] Well, by the time he does that at the end, he's killed about 400 people and he's seen 1,000 people get killed.

[5:51] But you're right. Bullet to the head.

[5:53] He's a raper of souls, Charon, the ferryman on the River Styx.

[5:55] He believes he's collecting them for his dark master, Americon.

[5:59] Well, I mean with every soul he kills, he gets more powerful.

[6:03] Yeah, yeah. It's like the blade of 1,000 whatevers.

[6:06] OK.

[6:07] Now, should we –

[6:08] Dismissive.

[6:09] Now, the plot of this movie is so stupid.

[6:11] Let's only go over it in the most basic of thingies.

[6:14] First off, there's the first kid, and he needs to learn how to get out of the White House if he gets taken over by terrorists.

[6:20] Well, that happens later.

[6:21] Cut to Ashley Judd who explodes.

[6:24] I think you may be doing a little too much.

[6:27] That's a little too abbreviated.

[6:29] I thought you were going to let me do this one.

[6:30] No, no.

[6:32] So Gerard Butler is a former U.S. Army ranger who's now on the –

[6:36] he's a secret service agent protecting the president.

[6:39] Played by Aaron Eckhart.

[6:40] Played by Aaron Eckhart, and the first lady, Ashley Judd.

[6:43] Why did they let him protect the president?

[6:45] He got facial reconstruction surgery, and he was OK again.

[6:47] Oh, OK.

[6:48] Now, we all read Dark Knight Returns.

[6:49] We know that he thinks that both sides of his face are destroyed now.

[6:52] Anyway, Aaron Eckhart, I guess you guys didn't read Dark Knight Returns.

[6:56] What were you doing in 1986 that was so important that you missed it?

[7:00] I mean, I have it on my shelf over there.

[7:02] I just don't remember like two faces.

[7:04] OK, braggy.

[7:05] You don't need to brag about your comic book collection.

[7:06] Anyway, so Aaron Eckhart's the president.

[7:09] I'm just surprised they let a tobacco lobbyist become the president, but you know.

[7:13] And a guy who treated that deaf girl so poorly.

[7:16] Yeah, but I guess he's a veteran of the Battle of L.A.

[7:18] Yep.

[7:19] The Battle of L.A. was a movie.

[7:22] He also saved the earth by going to the core and restarting it.

[7:26] He was in that?

[7:27] Movies.

[7:28] Wow, he's made a lot of crap.

[7:30] Yeah, I think we were saying this earlier.

[7:32] For a good actor, he's made a lot of garbage.

[7:34] Yeah.

[7:35] He's usually, for a good actor to make that many crappy movies, they have to be British.

[7:40] Yeah.

[7:41] And just be like, whatever, it's a paycheck.

[7:42] I'll do Shakespeare on the stage, and I'll do this movie where I play an alien with brow ridges.

[7:46] I'll be an air elemental in Chronicles of Riddick.

[7:49] You need me to lend gravitas to whatever bullshit you're putting on screen?

[7:53] Sure.

[7:54] Sure, pay me.

[7:55] I'll do it.

[7:56] Make it out to Derek Jacoby.

[7:59] Make it out to D-Jax.

[8:01] That's my rap name.

[8:03] I'm only doing this role so I can get the money I need to produce my first albium.

[8:08] Albium.

[8:09] That's how they pronounce it because it's so classy.

[8:11] It's made out of albumin.

[8:13] Egg whites.

[8:14] Yes.

[8:15] It's healthier that way.

[8:16] Okay, so Aaron Eckhart's the president.

[8:18] Ashley Judd's the first lady.

[8:19] They're at Camp David, and they're about to go to a Christmas party.

[8:22] They're in the motorcade.

[8:23] A tree branch falls.

[8:24] It's snowing.

[8:25] They slip on ice, and the car with the president and the first lady in it goes halfway off a bridge.

[8:30] Oh, no.

[8:31] Now, the first lady is conked in the head.

[8:33] There's blood pouring out of her nose, and Gerard Butler makes a split-second decision.

[8:38] I'm going to save the president's life and try to come back for the first lady.

[8:41] He's too late.

[8:42] He saves the president.

[8:43] The car slips off the bridge.

[8:44] The first lady dies.

[8:45] Olympus has fallen.

[8:46] No.

[8:47] That's not what that means.

[8:48] That's a rap for Ashley Judd on Olympus has fallen, everybody.

[8:51] Everybody applauds.

[8:52] She gets her paycheck.

[8:53] She walks out.

[8:54] She thinks about running for Senate against Mitch McConnell, decides not to.

[8:57] What are you going to do?

[8:58] Instead, she'll probably show her boobs in a movie or something.

[9:01] Eighteen months later, Gerard Butler's character, Banning, is now working at the Treasury Department.

[9:06] Bruce Banning?

[9:07] Because the president no longer wants to see the man who let his wife die every day.

[9:11] He doesn't like it, but there's a meeting between the president and the South Korean prime minister,

[9:16] but during it, there's a terrorist attack.

[9:18] It turns out everybody in the South Korean prime minister's entourage except him is a North Korean terrorist.

[9:24] So all the guys with ponytails and suits are bad guys?

[9:27] Yes.

[9:28] That's weird.

[9:29] Exactly.

[9:30] And with the help of Dylan McDermott, an ex-Secret Service agent turned contractor of some kind,

[9:34] they use a plane to basically blow up Washington, D.C., and kill everybody in the White House except the president,

[9:41] the vice president, and a couple of secretaries.

[9:43] Wait a minute.

[9:44] Dylan McDermott is playing a bad guy in this movie?

[9:47] He seems so, I don't know, non-sleazy, non-greasy, like a pleasant fellow.

[9:52] Nope.

[9:53] Lack of shaving.

[9:54] Trustworthy.

[9:55] Lazy smoking.

[9:56] This is a little problem that I like to call the Von Sydow complex.

[10:00] It's also part of my Jack Treacher series of spy novels.

[10:09] It's about Arthur Treacher's brother who's also Jack Reacher's brother.

[10:14] So it's the Max von Sydow complex, a Jack Treacher mystery thriller, spy novel.

[10:19] It's part of a series of mysteries, thrillers, spy novels.

[10:22] But anyway, in Minority Report, Max von Sydow plays the president or the secretary of state

[10:26] or something.

[10:27] I don't know.

[10:28] It's supposed to be a surprise that he's the bad guy.

[10:30] But the minute you see him, you're like, oh, Max von Sydow's in this?

[10:34] He must be the bad guy.

[10:35] He's always the bad guy.

[10:36] I mean, this reminds me of...

[10:37] Oh, the devil from Needful Things is in this?

[10:39] I guess he's the bad guy.

[10:40] This reminds me of a story about our co-worker and also occasional Flophouse guest host,

[10:48] Juben Parang.

[10:50] When he and I had to write questions about White House Down, the other White House taken

[10:57] by terrorists movie.

[10:58] Because who was our guest?

[10:59] Jamie Foxx or something?

[11:00] Yeah, I think so.

[11:01] Or the White House was probably our guest.

[11:03] And Juben was looking over the cast list and he saw that James Woods played the secretary

[11:09] of state and he's like, I bet James Woods is the bad guy in this movie.

[11:12] And he's totally right.

[11:13] He was right.

[11:14] He went and asked me.

[11:15] He was right.

[11:16] Just looking at the cast list.

[11:19] There's certain actors who are so good at the role of the turncoat that you shouldn't

[11:24] cast them because you know that the...

[11:25] It's like in Iron Man 3, is it Miguel Ferrer has like three seconds of screen time as the

[11:31] vice president and you know he's the bad guy because it's Miguel Ferrer.

[11:34] Think like Tom Hanks, the fucking bad guy.

[11:36] Yeah, because Tom Hanks is going to take the standing role in Iron Man 3.

[11:39] Come on, Dan.

[11:40] Yeah, he's a huge star, bro.

[11:41] Come on, bro.

[11:42] Or get like an actor that's good that no one's seen before.

[11:46] But there's certain actors...

[11:47] Channing Tatum, etc.

[11:48] To a lesser extent.

[11:49] But someone who's pleasant.

[11:50] Someone who does not exude...

[11:51] Like Michael Shannon.

[11:52] All right.

[11:53] Yeah, you know, like Michael Shannon or like, you know, Robert Anglin, someone who's all

[12:00] peaches and cream cuddliness.

[12:02] You know, like Danny Trejo.

[12:03] Michael Rooker.

[12:04] You know, like Michael Ironside.

[12:05] Lance Henriksen.

[12:06] A Peter Weller type.

[12:07] You know, that actor with the pointy head that plays the monster.

[12:08] Yeah, exactly.

[12:09] You start drinking in the dark, you see he's the bad guy.

[12:10] Spoiler alert.

[12:11] Watch it on In Demand.

[12:12] It's like five bucks.

[12:13] Who cares?

[12:14] Oh, to a lesser extent, it's what I call the Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Complex, which

[12:39] was a Jack creature novel until I was sued by John le Carré, where you know who the

[12:44] mole is because it's the only big name actor in the cast.

[12:46] This is different.

[12:47] It's an actor you know is kind of, plays sleazy characters, so you know he's the bad guy.

[12:51] But anyway, they, a North Korean terrorist named Kang, who apparently has been hot...

[12:57] Not Crang.

[12:58] Not Crang, which we thought was his name.

[12:59] So he's not ejaculating and peeing on someone.

[13:01] Wait, what?

[13:02] It's weird that your mind goes there for Crang, that your image of Crang is so destroyed by

[13:07] that one picture.

[13:08] I mean, that's what, I mean, in Flophouse mythology, that's where he exists.

[13:12] I mean, come on, guys.

[13:13] Eastman and Laird are positioned as the perverts.

[13:18] It's hard to shake that pigeon-holing as the double P Crang.

[13:23] Oh, you're the double P guy.

[13:25] I have such range.

[13:26] I can play any sort of brain in the thorax, not just a peeing one.

[13:31] Apparently he also plays Sean Connery in Zardoz.

[13:33] Yeah, well, Sean Connery was originally going to play Crang, yeah.

[13:37] I'm the Crang now, dog.

[13:38] That's what he said.

[13:39] Who's the brain in a robot's torso now, dog?

[13:42] The name is Aang, Crang.

[13:48] Anyway, so Crang, not Crang.

[13:51] He is Crang, the time-traveling warlord from the 31st century or whatever, not Crang, the brain.

[13:57] Crang has apparently been this amazing terrorist mastermind who's also part of the South Korean government,

[14:03] and there's an amazing moment later on where his identity is revealed,

[14:06] and the guy who's working with the Speaker of the House, Morgan Freeman,

[14:10] who's the acting president, because they don't know what's happening.

[14:13] By the way, Morgan Freeman, who I jokingly said was going to be in this movie,

[14:17] because I saw Ashley Judd earlier in this movie, and then he showed up.

[14:20] Package deal, dude.

[14:22] Yeah, it's like the two Corys.

[14:23] They have it in their contract.

[14:25] It's like that movie where they...

[14:27] By the way, I would love to see a two-Cory style movie with Ashley Judd.

[14:31] Like a remake of License to Drive or something like that?

[14:33] Yeah, exactly.

[14:35] The South Beach Academy with Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd.

[14:38] No way!

[14:40] We gotta get this volleyball team up and running.

[14:42] Boobs out, everybody.

[14:44] There's just two college students on the make.

[14:48] One of them's a middle-aged lady. The other's an old man.

[14:52] Guys, I don't think you can play these parts anymore.

[14:54] I'm not sure you could ever.

[14:56] We're playing these parts. These are the parts Ashley and I were born to play.

[15:00] The penguins marched across...

[15:03] We're in a pitch meeting. You don't talk about penguins.

[15:06] It's like Morgan Freeman and Hannibal Lecter.

[15:10] Well, that's when he auditioned for the role, yeah.

[15:12] They said he wasn't creepy enough.

[15:14] Are the lambs screaming still, Clarice?

[15:18] Andy Dufresne made the lambs scream.

[15:20] Yes, Stuart, now you have to do an impression.

[15:22] Hello, I'm Werner Herzog.

[15:24] Perfect. A+.

[15:26] A+, for effort. Plus.

[15:28] And accuracy.

[15:30] There's a great moment where the guy who's assisting the president goes,

[15:33] This guy, Kang, he's the biggest terrorist ever.

[15:36] He did all these other bombings.

[15:38] No one's ever photographed him or identified him.

[15:44] No one ever thought to look in the South Korean government.

[15:46] Okay, you know what? That's fair.

[15:48] No one thought to look there for a terrorist.

[15:50] Anyway, let's cut through this crap.

[15:53] They take over the White House. It's a long action scene.

[15:56] A lot of shooting. It goes on a long time.

[15:59] You fall asleep and you wake up and the shooting is still going on and you fall asleep again.

[16:02] It's the fallacy of most modern action movies,

[16:04] which is just shooting a bunch of automatic weapons for a long time is going to be exciting.

[16:08] And like with many fallacies, they think size is what's most important.

[16:11] It's not the size of the gun battle, it's how you use it in your movie.

[16:14] Let me talk about a little movie called...

[16:16] If you really care about the people involved.

[16:18] A little movie called Oldboy.

[16:20] Or if you do a weird thing with it.

[16:22] An old boy...

[16:24] Like shoot it in the butt.

[16:26] Something that gets their attention.

[16:28] Shoot it in somebody's face for five minutes.

[16:30] Just baffle them, I guess.

[16:32] Let's take a movie like Oldboy.

[16:34] I think everyone will agree that the most brilliant scene is the side-scrolling fight in the hallway.

[16:38] All in one shot with a hammer.

[16:40] If I didn't say that, I'd be lying.

[16:42] It's like three and a half minutes.

[16:44] It's a group of guys, one with a hammer and the other with sticks.

[16:47] And they just hit each other and it's an amazing scene.

[16:50] And Oldboy is like, if I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning.

[16:53] Into your head.

[16:55] Then I'd hammer in the evening into your kneecap.

[16:57] All over this U.

[16:59] Come on. Kneecap. Elliot.

[17:01] God, Dan. Other people have kneecaps.

[17:04] You're not the only one who has one.

[17:06] Anyway.

[17:07] How many kneecaps in this movie, Dan?

[17:09] Did anybody get a shot in them?

[17:10] I don't think so, right?

[17:11] Everybody got shot in the face.

[17:13] The front of the head, the side of the head, the back of the head.

[17:16] Anyone get shot in the head? Perfect. Sure.

[17:18] A plus.

[17:19] Okay, so...

[17:20] We suggested watching the movie Bullet to the Knee, but Dan said no.

[17:24] No thank you. It's still too soon.

[17:25] This is my one veto of the year.

[17:29] He usually uses veto to veto when a contest winner chooses the movie we're going to watch.

[17:35] So, there's this long sequence of them trying.

[17:38] The action scenes are just too long.

[17:40] And let me just say this before I forget about it.

[17:42] The special effects in this movie...

[17:44] Are not very special.

[17:45] They reach a new height of crappiness.

[17:47] It's like, I have seen better special effects in the cut scenes

[17:52] for Command and Conquer Tiberian Sun.

[17:54] Where it's just some dude in front of a green screen and there's a CGI explosion behind him.

[17:59] These are some of the worst computer effects I think I've seen in years.

[18:03] When the giant airplane was flying around blowing up the Washington Monument,

[18:07] I totally assumed that a shark-to-puss was going to come flying out of it.

[18:11] Let's take a moment to appreciate the most hilarious scene in the film,

[18:16] which is the giant cargo plane crashing into the Washington Monument

[18:24] and just chunks of the Washington Monument crushing people running away on the ground.

[18:28] But it looks so fake.

[18:30] The fakest scene for me is the part where Gerard Butler uses a rocket launcher

[18:34] to blow up some kind of computer hydra gun that's shooting down Apache helicopters.

[18:40] And then it explodes and he falls backwards through a hole in the roof.

[18:44] And it looks like he literally sat in a chair and went, ahhh.

[18:48] And then they just, using MS Paint, just erased the background

[18:52] and drew in a stick figure drawing of a room behind him.

[18:56] It's terrible.

[18:57] It's like the reverse version of that scene in Die Hard 2,

[19:00] where John McClane shoots up toward the camera and then falls back down.

[19:04] It's like the boring version of that.

[19:06] At least that was awesome and William Sadler was in that movie.

[19:09] Yeah, there's two things this doesn't have.

[19:11] Anyway, so everyone gets killed.

[19:13] Gerard Butler is the only one left inside because it's Die Hard in the White House.

[19:17] And he's got to save the president before they give in to the terrorist demands,

[19:22] which are he's going to kill the president

[19:24] unless the president removes all armed forces from the Korean Peninsula,

[19:28] which is crazy.

[19:30] And he wants to reunite the Koreas.

[19:32] But I have to believe that even the president's life is considered somewhat expendable

[19:36] when it comes to, I guess, basically saying like,

[19:40] in the Korean War, we ended that now.

[19:42] Or like any military policy.

[19:44] But anyway, he also has a secret plan.

[19:46] There's something called the Cerberus,

[19:48] a fail-safe device that will self-detonate any U.S. nuclear missile in the country.

[19:53] So wait, it's not a multi-headed dog.

[19:55] No, sadly it's not.

[19:56] And there wasn't the moment that Stuart and I both wanted

[19:58] where it is a multi-headed dog

[20:00] He's Gerard Butler and then gives him a nod of understanding and acceptance because they're

[20:03] one of a kind, beasts that serve not themselves but a master, a harsh master, but a just master.

[20:11] In Gerard Butler's case, Aaron Eckhart, a harsh master indeed.

[20:17] Meanwhile, Morgan Freeman is kind of like dithering around in the war room while Robert

[20:22] Forster, who's the head of the army, yells at him.

[20:25] He's best known for his role as the mystic guy who would show up and solve a problem

[20:32] instead of just saving the day himself, Robert Forster.

[20:47] There's a couple different scenes where there are three codes.

[20:50] The president has one, the secretary of the navy or something, the secretary of defense

[20:53] or something has one, and the secretary of something else played by Melissa Leo has one.

[20:58] The president will watch as Kang beats up the person and then finally the president

[21:03] will go, ìOkay, give him the code.

[21:04] Give him the code.î One time, they almost cut the guy's neck and then they just beat

[21:09] the crap out of Melissa Leo.

[21:10] They're just punching her all over.

[21:11] If you're just going to give it up, why do you let them beat her up so much, man?

[21:15] She turned to the president and was like, ìYeah, thanks.

[21:17] Thanks for giving him the code now.î But even then, those people, it's one of those

[21:22] It's either like don't let them beat them up at all or let them beat them to death and

[21:26] not give them the code.

[21:27] And don't give them control of America's nuclear weapons.

[21:29] But anyway, Jard Butler, Brent Branning, is running around the White House.

[21:35] They're secret.

[21:36] Hello, Brent Branning, super secret service agent.

[21:40] At one point, he catches that kid and lets him go.

[21:44] It's a catch and release program for first kids.

[21:46] He finds the president's son, the first kid, starring Sinbad, and saves him and lets him

[21:51] leave the White House.

[21:52] He's creeping around in secret passageways in the White House where they store FDR's

[21:57] gold and stuff.

[21:58] And he isn't able to stop them from launching helicopters at the White House.

[22:02] They get shot down.

[22:03] Eventually, let's just...

[22:04] Now, Elliot, what about the first daughter played by Katie Holmes?

[22:07] Does she get to date who she wants to date?

[22:09] She's actually not in this movie.

[22:10] Okay.

[22:11] Now, okay.

[22:12] The Kang, he gets his communications with the other...

[22:15] What is that movie?

[22:16] What is that?

[22:17] American President?

[22:18] It's called First Daughter, right?

[22:19] Yeah, something like that.

[22:22] I think there was one with...

[22:23] What's her name?

[22:24] Mindy something?

[22:25] Kaling?

[22:26] No.

[22:27] Mandy Moore.

[22:28] Mandy Moore.

[22:29] Yeah.

[22:30] But I think the first daughter one with Katie Holmes had Michael Keaton in it.

[22:36] Yeah, you're right.

[22:37] Yeah.

[22:38] Michael Keaton's weirdly self-imposed, I feel like, period in the wilderness.

[22:42] I think, considering it came after Jack Frost, I think it was not self-imposed.

[22:47] I mean...

[22:48] I feel like it was a mom movie in which he was a jazz musician whose soul went into a

[22:51] snowman.

[22:52] Okay.

[22:53] I don't think this was a self-imposed exile.

[22:54] I feel like the man couldn't...

[22:55] Like, he had been in some huge movies.

[22:56] He could have made a few better.

[22:57] Yes.

[22:58] He was one of the best, biggest movie stars on the planet.

[22:59] Yeah.

[23:00] No.

[23:01] And also...

[23:02] He was Batman.

[23:03] He was fucking Batman.

[23:04] He was fucking Batman.

[23:05] He was Mr. Mom.

[23:06] He wasn't the one who sold those movies.

[23:07] You're Batman.

[23:08] Batman sold those movies.

[23:09] He was Beetlejuice.

[23:10] I think it was the one-two punch of multiplicity in Jack Frost that could kill any career.

[23:11] Mm-hmm.

[23:13] could kill Humphrey Bogart's career.

[23:16] If Humphrey Bogart was in multiplicity and in Jack Frost, he would never make a movie

[23:20] again.

[23:21] I would love to see Humphrey Bogart in multiplicity.

[23:22] I would love to see Humphrey Bogart in multiplicity.

[23:23] Ah, there's all these...

[23:24] Humphrey Bogart playing...

[23:25] There's all these clones of me.

[23:26] ...the stupid clone in multiplicity.

[23:27] This...

[23:28] Just Humphrey Bogart...

[23:29] Bogart Doug.

[23:30] Humphrey Bogart trying to put a slice of pizza into a wallet.

[23:33] I've told this story before of my attending the New York premiere of multiplicity as a

[23:38] kid, right?

[23:39] Yeah, but it bears repeating.

[23:40] Well, let's just say...

[23:41] I was a producer of it.

[23:42] A guy who was, at the time, I think, head of Columbia TriStar was one of my dad's good

[23:45] friends from college.

[23:46] I think they were roommates.

[23:48] And this was the movie that was premiering in New York, so we went to the premiere of

[23:52] multiplicity.

[23:53] We sat near...

[23:54] What's his name?

[23:55] Al Franken.

[23:56] Al Franken.

[23:57] And then at the party afterwards, which was on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange

[23:59] because that was tied to the movie, not at all.

[24:02] That was when my brother met Harold Ramis, asked him what other movies he made besides

[24:06] Ghostbusters.

[24:07] Harold Ramis says, I made Stuart Saved His Family.

[24:09] And I...

[24:10] No, it was Harold Ramis.

[24:11] It was?

[24:12] Yeah, yeah.

[24:13] Okay.

[24:14] And Harold Ramis said...

[24:15] And my brother responded, that bomb?

[24:17] And Harold Ramis pretended to choke him.

[24:20] So that's my Harold Ramis story of my brother offending him.

[24:23] Anyway, so let's...

[24:24] Your brother is a charmer.

[24:27] Yeah, he's single, ladies.

[24:29] Anyway, there's a reason...

[24:32] You like sports facts and letters.

[24:34] And insulting Harold Ramis.

[24:36] So there's a reason Michael Keaton was in the wilderness for a while.

[24:39] All right.

[24:40] It's not like he was like, you know what?

[24:41] The world's seen enough of the Keaton.

[24:42] I better reserve my power.

[24:44] Yeah, he went off to live in like a crazy Kung Fu temple somewhere.

[24:47] I'm too beautiful for this mortal plane.

[24:49] Me and the elves are going to leave Middle Earth for the golden lands.

[24:53] The Grey Havens.

[24:55] Whatever, I don't care.

[24:56] Come on, dude.

[24:57] Look, I got so much real history in my head.

[25:00] I can't remember where the elves went to.

[25:02] Across the Rainbow Bridge to Valhalla.

[25:04] It's like fucking Avalon for...

[25:06] The Rainbow Bridge goes to Asgard.

[25:07] Don't worry about it.

[25:08] No, yeah, Valhalla.

[25:09] I guess that's in Asgard, right?

[25:10] Probably.

[25:11] Valhalla's like the district of Asgard that the Asgardians don't go to too much.

[25:14] Because it's just super rowdy.

[25:16] Probably, yeah.

[25:17] They're going to gentrify it eventually.

[25:19] I don't believe in any of that shit.

[25:21] Yeah, anyway.

[25:23] So moving on.

[25:24] So Kang's communications get cut off by Gerard Butler.

[25:27] And the...

[25:29] Sorry, I meant to say Butler, but I didn't.

[25:31] It came out wrong.

[25:32] That was not a deliberate mispronunciation.

[25:34] So Kang has a new plan.

[25:36] He's going to fake letting Melissa Leo go

[25:38] and then kill her in front of the world's press.

[25:40] And you did forget, before this point,

[25:42] I think we had the...

[25:44] Lifted directly out of Die Hard.

[25:46] No, that happens after this.

[25:47] Oh, okay.

[25:48] But Gerard Butler destroys that plan

[25:50] by killing a bunch of Kang's guys.

[25:52] Kang's on the run, so then it's up to plan B.

[25:54] Kang and his men are going to escape

[25:56] disguised as hostages

[25:58] because we've never seen that before

[26:00] only in, I think, every movie ever.

[26:02] That's got to mean...

[26:04] It's got to be in basic training at this point.

[26:06] Yeah.

[26:08] I mean, I do feel like that was novel.

[26:10] Like sniper training is, like,

[26:12] just shoot their hoods off.

[26:14] Pew!

[26:16] Shoot off disguises.

[26:18] That was novel when I saw it in QuickTime,

[26:20] but QuickTime is...

[26:22] QuickChange.

[26:24] You watch it on QuickTime.

[26:26] You download it and watch it as a QuickTime video.

[26:28] Yeah, that's how he watches movie trailers

[26:30] and some porn.

[26:32] I love Netflix.

[26:36] It's different every time.

[26:38] My other favorite movie,

[26:40] Mac Video Player.

[26:42] Windows Media Player.

[26:44] I love that movie, Windows Media Player.

[26:46] It's weird.

[26:48] Sometimes when I watch it,

[26:50] it's like an episode of The Simpsons

[26:52] and sometimes it's a porno.

[26:54] I don't understand.

[26:56] I'm confused, but still entertained.

[26:58] Well, Dan, YouTube is basically a channel now.

[27:00] It's the future of media, Dan.

[27:02] New media. Let's get into it.

[27:04] It's time for our New Media Roundtable.

[27:06] Let's take a call.

[27:08] So, when I turn on my computer

[27:10] and put on the YouTube,

[27:12] where's all the naked ladies?

[27:14] Great question.

[27:16] Number one, it's just called YouTube,

[27:18] not the YouTube.

[27:20] Number two, type in naked ladies.

[27:22] If that doesn't help,

[27:24] I don't know what to tell you.

[27:26] Maybe you want to try Dailymotion.

[27:28] So, how do I get to that other thing

[27:30] where I can see the naked babes?

[27:32] You know what? Just type naked babes into Google.

[27:34] I think you'll find what you're looking for.

[27:36] What's Google? Oh, boy.

[27:38] Here we go again.

[27:40] Just kidding, folks. I know all about Google.

[27:42] So, Ellie, you were talking about stuff.

[27:44] And how to find naked babes on the internet.

[27:46] So, anyway, the hostages walk out

[27:48] with the hostage takers.

[27:50] They're all wearing hoods.

[27:52] They get in a rescue helicopter

[27:54] and then the helicopter explodes.

[27:56] Everyone thinks the president is in there,

[27:58] but he wasn't.

[28:00] Kang and Aaron Eckhart have faked their own deaths.

[28:02] Actually, Kang faked their deaths.

[28:04] It's not like Aaron Eckhart was in on it.

[28:06] I'm sick of being president.

[28:08] There's a lot of pressure.

[28:10] You know what? I want to go back to my original life

[28:12] as a poet in France.

[28:16] Now, that's what Jim Morrison did.

[28:18] Anyway, so, Kang faked their deaths

[28:20] so that they can escape.

[28:22] He sets off Cerberus,

[28:24] and he says,

[28:26] I'm not going to launch the missiles.

[28:28] I'm just going to blow them up in their silos,

[28:30] turning America into a nuclear wasteland.

[28:32] Which I immediately got excited,

[28:34] because that would be a great movie, right?

[28:36] Road Warrior, mutants and shit.

[28:38] Yeah, but in America this time.

[28:40] It's okay. It doesn't have to be in Australia every time.

[28:42] Yeah, it could be in America this time.

[28:44] Mutant kangaroos.

[28:46] Why would they be kangaroos?

[28:48] That's Australia again.

[28:50] Wait, what?

[28:52] We have bears in this country.

[28:54] But we could still have tank girls.

[28:56] Of course, we have tanks and girls.

[28:58] Let's put them together.

[29:00] We've got Lori Petty, so whatever.

[29:02] We have a Lori Petty. National treasure.

[29:04] We haven't gotten rid of that yet?

[29:06] Wasn't she like a million years old

[29:08] and living on her own?

[29:10] No, she was not.

[29:12] She was the grandma at the end.

[29:14] She got really old, right?

[29:16] No, it's true.

[29:18] They actually aged her with a time machine

[29:20] They had her drink from that weird cup

[29:22] from the last crusade.

[29:24] Now you're going to have to choose poorly for this role.

[29:26] Are you comfortable with that?

[29:28] They got Rick Moranis from Honey I Blew Up the Kid

[29:30] to fucking make an age array

[29:32] to age up Lori Petty.

[29:34] It's interesting that that's where you go

[29:36] to your mad scientist.

[29:38] Not just Rick Moranis' character,

[29:40] but from Honey I Blew Up the Kid, the sequel.

[29:42] Well, Honey I Shrunk the Kid, Rick Moranis

[29:44] has too much integrity.

[29:46] Stuart Gordon was involved with that.

[29:48] He wrote the original script.

[29:50] For Honey I Blew Up the Kid?

[29:52] No, Honey I Shrunk the Kid.

[29:54] That explains why in the original script

[29:56] for Honey I Shrunk the Kid there's this weird

[29:58] greasy S&M monster.

[30:00] Yeah, and Jeffrey Combs is written into it

[30:02] Yeah, there was a scene where that severed head of a giant ant gave head to the other person Dan

[30:08] I mean, why didn't not cool? Yeah, you always go for the gross scene. Yeah, that's the scene

[30:14] Everyone remembers from reanimator, right? I

[30:18] Guess I remember the reanimating. Mm-hmm. I remember in it for the reanimating

[30:25] I'm in it for the animating and the reanimating. Okay, let's finish up this stupid movie

[30:30] Now I didn't even mention the part where Gerard Butler discovers Dylan McDermott is the turncoat. Yeah

[30:34] It was die hard of all the dollars. It doesn't matter. There's no reason for it

[30:39] so Gerard Butler catches up with Kang and Kodos, which is what I'm calling the president now and

[30:45] Kodos gets shot and

[30:47] Brar Butler's like, oh, no, I'll save you

[30:50] But then he has to fight Kang and he's totally winning for a second until the president says

[30:54] You can do it and then he wins and then Gerard Butler wins

[30:57] And Gerard Butler's like, okay, we'll get you out of here. Mr. President not noticing the beep

[31:02] Beep beep and the giant countdown clock that's down the hall and then the presence like no

[31:07] No, you got to turn off Cerberus. So he goes and he gets the code and he turns Cerberus off for three seconds left

[31:12] Yeah, it's really exciting and the he and the president walk out everyone applauds

[31:17] He and the president walk out and the president gives a speech as if about how America has been brought to its knees

[31:22] but now we have an opportunity to be reborn and it's like dude all that really we have to do now is fix the

[31:28] White House and the Washington Monument and

[31:31] Give funerals to the people who died like there's no major burial

[31:34] This was as this was as far from a major crisis of conscience for the United States as possible, you know

[31:40] Yes, burial. This is gonna use a bulldozer push all those Secret Service agents into a man

[31:48] This is a Kryptonian burial just get a really big slingshot

[31:52] Yeah, yeah, but I just can't over maybe in death terrorists and Secret Service guys could become for others

[31:59] Could I I can't overstate how seriously this movie took itself and how like I think you could probably make a fun movie with the same

[32:06] exact script which this possibly did with the White House down the same exact script just directed the way that like

[32:13] I don't know like black would write the title is more like is more snooty and serious

[32:19] Yeah, this has fallen as opposed to White House down

[32:21] Yeah, also we learned that everything in the in the White House is named after a Greek mythology thing. There's Olympus. There's Cerberus

[32:28] There's a there's a lot of automated gun named Hydra. The president calls his dick Polyphemus because there's one eye

[32:39] But also like

[32:42] This movie is so

[32:44] Wrote to like yeah, someone wrote it

[32:47] But that's why the screenwriters were

[32:50] Like to draw attention to one moment in the movie, which I feel like

[32:55] represents encapsulates the whole film's

[32:58] Lack of interest in giving anyone any interesting motivation for anything

[33:02] Okay, which is when Dylan McDermott is real is revealed as the bad guy

[33:07] and Aaron Eckhart's like you betrayed me and Dylan McDermott's like you betrayed us already with your

[33:15] Globalization and Wall Street Wall Street. It's like well, you just like fucking like pulled two buzzwords

[33:23] It's the laziest explanation from rationale for trying to take down the government, you know with the globalization in the Wall Street

[33:31] Like I you know, he was just hanging out at Occupy Wall Street and yeah, man

[33:36] Let's tear down the fucking ruling class and the opposite of that is the fact that you mentioned while you're watching it

[33:42] They have to give Gerard Butler a reason that he's failed the president in the past

[33:45] They have to give him a reason and a motivation to want to save the president

[33:50] Yeah, he's like otherwise he'd be like fuck it and give let's just say forget that he's a Secret Service agent

[33:55] It's his job to save the president. Even if he was just a regular American, you'd think he'd be like, you know

[34:00] What maybe I will save the president, you know

[34:03] He is the leader of my country and all but they feel the need to give him a personal emotional motivation

[34:08] Yeah, I got to make it up to the president for not saving his wife and you know, I got a personal I got a

[34:14] Personal thing, you know, like now we're even I wish I wish

[34:18] When he say the president was like, oh we square. Yeah a life

[34:23] This thing between us it's over now, right we got no beef no beef. Mr

[34:27] Prez and there's no president tears up the crazy magical contract

[34:32] Fill it out with the Baba Yaga

[34:34] I

[34:38] Put out a hit on you with the Baba Yaga

[34:40] So if you see a chicken-legged house, just tell her that that everything's done. Yeah, she scratches cheek. It's a

[34:51] So this is a dumb movie, yeah, we're saying we're even mentioned the subplot about his wife

[34:57] Who's a nurse because it's totally irrelevant. There's no reason who cares I think I think a good example of how this is

[35:05] similar along the lines of Dylan McDermott's

[35:07] Bullshit explanation is the first time

[35:10] Gerard Butler gets on the phone with

[35:12] Crang is it Kang? You said crank so he's talking to crank on the phone

[35:17] I've been praying they talk shit to each other a little bit

[35:19] the bad guy says something like I'll kill a million presidents or something and

[35:25] And instead of like this is the chance for the movie or the screenwriter to be like, okay

[35:30] Let's come up with a good line. And I think Gerard Butler just says fuck off and he says he says let's play a game

[35:36] It's called fuck off you first and then he hangs up

[35:39] it's like and this is

[35:41] like they clearly had a bunch of like lines written on a whiteboard and they

[35:46] Crossed them all off and then circled that one and gave each other high-five when they wrote it

[35:50] Well, that's the other thing. That's their yippee-ki-yay mother if you're gonna treat this as a serious movie

[35:53] You can't give him one-liner quips, you know, it's stupid

[35:57] It's that this is a movie that the tone is totally wrong

[36:00] The story is so by the numbers the action scenes are boring. The computer effects are bad

[36:04] The acting is lazy, you know, and he stabs the bad guy in the head with a knife at the end

[36:09] That's the best part

[36:10] I mean when the best thing you can say about the movie is like

[36:13] There's a lot of head shots

[36:14] Like a lot of people get shot in the head and blood splatters out of the back of their head

[36:18] And if you ever wanted to see Melissa Leo get worked over by a couple thugs

[36:22] This is the movie for you, you know

[36:24] But then the IMDb keyword search for recommended movies Melissa Leo worked over by thugs bruised Melissa Leo

[36:32] Everyone whispers all the time and there's a scene where Melissa Leo and the president are whispering to each other and she has her arm

[36:37] Over her mouth. It's like thanks movie. You give it you make it so hard for me to try to pay attention to you

[36:43] Do we have anything we have to do before we go? Let's just skip the final judgments. I think that it's clear

[36:48] That was a good movie bad bad bad best great movie. We didn't care for this film

[36:54] It was do you need to say make space to insert something?

[37:00] Let's do it more awkwardly

[37:05] Yeah, let's take a moment to have a word from our sponsor new sponsor can't wait to hear it play it Don

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[39:04] There so you're gonna rip it is what you're saying. Yeah, they are a quality product. We know from first-hand experience

[39:10] But now now we're going to move on we're moving on to letter letter

[39:17] The flop are you ready to letters? Actually, let's get ready to write letters. Yeah, are you ready for some letters?

[39:26] Monday night letters everybody if you're listening to this on a Monday night

[39:29] If you're not insert the day of the week

[39:32] You're listening it to and the time of that day and then add letters to the end of it

[39:35] For example, let's say it's a Wednesday morning. Okay, Wednesday morning. What led Wednesday morning letters? Okay. Sure

[39:41] Let's say it's Thursday around noon ish. Sure Thursday noon ish letters. Okay, let's say it's the summer solstice

[39:48] Mm-hmm. I don't know what day that is. So just say summer soul climb out of that wicker, man

[39:51] You're probably stuck in you know

[39:53] What don't stick around in the wicker man because it's about to become a burning man festival if you know what I mean

[39:57] Whatever the case write it down

[40:00] write it down on a piece of paper, dig a hole, bury it in your backyard, and forget about it.

[40:06] And in a million years, you'll be dead. That's the payoff.

[40:12] But the first letter is... That reminds me,

[40:14] sorry, before we talk about letters, this is totally unrelated to everything,

[40:17] but I was thinking about how the village that they built for Star Wars in Tunisia to represent

[40:24] Tatooine and Mos Eisley is slowly being overtaken by sand dunes that are moving

[40:29] farther and farther. And I just imagine that in 400 years, an archaeologist will dig there and

[40:34] find this alien civilization and be like, oh my God, this changes everything about our knowledge

[40:38] of human history. Where are they getting all that blue milk?

[40:42] These people were using vaporators. There was some kind of alien bar here.

[40:49] So thanks, George Lucas. Droids were clearly not welcome.

[40:51] George Lucas, for screwing with the minds of future archaeologists.

[40:54] They clearly should have gone down to Tashi Station to pick up some new power converters.

[40:58] Unless it's possible that by that point, Star Wars will have become a religion.

[41:01] And they'll be like, we found it, the holy place. Let's fight over it for a thousand years.

[41:07] But this first letter is titled Family Drama.

[41:12] Dear The Flophouse. That's us.

[41:14] I recently recommended the podcast to my sister, and she told me that she was forced to turn it

[41:18] off because, quote, those guys are so mean. Yeah, that's fair.

[41:22] To be fair, she ignored my description of three distinct personalities,

[41:26] including two Daily Show writers and a Daily Show animal wrangler, watched terrible movies,

[41:31] closest we'll get to an MST3K podcast, and she ignored the title of the podcast.

[41:36] That's high praise. Which includes the word flop.

[41:40] And she ignored the back catalog of undeniably floptastic movies until she hit a movie that

[41:44] she owned and loved. What movie was that?

[41:47] And she ignored the description of the podcast from within the podcast itself.

[41:52] To her great surprise, you did not enjoy the Oscar-nominated Valentine's Day.

[41:57] Wait, Oscar-nominated? I'm not sure what more you could have done.

[42:00] I think it was nominated for Worst Everything. I think you misread that, Dan.

[42:04] It was D Wars. I'm not sure what you could have done

[42:08] to advertise you make fun of movies. The Oscar-nominated Big Money Rustles.

[42:13] I'm not sure what my sister... And the Oscar for Funniest Movie.

[42:16] The Oscar for Biggest Money Rustles goes to...

[42:20] Oh, it's an upset to King's speech.

[42:24] Accepting for Colin Firth will be shaggy too dope.

[42:29] And I'm not sure why my sister would think I would recommend a podcast that celebrates

[42:32] the achievements of Gary Marshall's finest work. No such podcast exists.

[42:36] Perhaps she ignored seven warnings indicating this is the work of the nefarious Seven Pounds,

[42:41] or it's the Flophouse House Cat, who I imagine is a Carmen Sandiego-esque

[42:45] world-traveling criminal when not haunting Dan's apartment.

[42:48] Regardless, thanks for the podcast, even if it highlights my sister's terrible taste in movies.

[42:53] Ethan, last name withheld. Well, we apologize to Ethan's sister,

[42:57] who I assume is no longer listening. It was Ethan Hawke, you think?

[43:00] It was probably Ethan Hawke. Star of Daybreaker.

[43:03] We apologize to her sister, Holly Hawke.

[43:07] That's terrible. Ethan, thanks for recommending the podcast.

[43:12] We're sorry your sister didn't like it, but hey, that's the great thing about this country,

[43:16] that anyone can like the things they like, and we don't all have to like the same thing.

[43:19] And sometimes we have to team up to fight terrorists, and we win.

[43:22] Yeah, exactly, always. USA.

[43:25] Up all night. USA.

[43:26] Characters are welcome here. No, boobs are welcome at USA Up All Night.

[43:31] Okay, but thanks again, Ethan. Recommend our podcast as much as you please.

[43:35] We don't care how many family members you alienate.

[43:37] Yeah, and when you say recommend the podcast, this reminds me, I feel like we should do more

[43:43] social networking. I feel like we should encourage people to tweet about the podcast,

[43:47] perhaps with a hashtag. Are we having a business meeting right now?

[43:50] Hashtag Flophouse. Okay, let's have a shit sandwich here,

[43:53] guys. Hashtag Flophouse.

[43:54] You're doing great on talking about stupid stuff, not so good at tweeting, great on laughing,

[44:00] and being really good friends. Thanks for the review, Stuart.

[44:04] Okay, now I'll do a review for Dan. Dan, you're doing great at producing the podcast.

[44:07] You talk way too much about your knee, and also great work with the knee.

[44:12] Fair enough. I really like this new thing you're doing.

[44:15] Okay, Elliot, I think that you're great with your comedy reviews of the other hosts.

[44:20] Great, and that's the reviews for everybody. Oh, wow, you cut them off.

[44:24] Oh, well, what's the middle? What's the bad part?

[44:25] Yeah, what's the shit part of that sandwich? I don't know, something about your voice.

[44:30] Okay, that I have an irritating voice. That's fair.

[44:32] So, moving on. Okay, so everybody-

[44:34] And the worst spotlight does not fall upon Stuart. He slinks into the shadows.

[44:40] If you want to promote the show, maybe hashtag flop house.

[44:43] That'd be great. I mean, I feel like our fans are really dedicated. They're already doing a lot to

[44:47] promote it by wearing our faces on their chests. Or our stomachs, in my case.

[44:52] Guys, we thank you a lot for making us what we are today, and if you want to help us out some more,

[44:58] that would be fantastic. We understand that you could break us.

[45:01] You made us, and you can destroy us, but just the fans take it from the- give it,

[45:05] and the fans take it away, but just so you know, hey, we appreciate what you've done.

[45:08] We're not demanding more. We're just saying, we trust you.

[45:12] Yeah. Do what your body feels like, as Stuart would say.

[45:15] Just do what your body wants. Yeah.

[45:17] I like how Dan's misquoted Stuart.

[45:18] Listen to the rhythm of Dan's voice. Feel the beat of the rhythm of my voice.

[45:24] So, this next letter-

[45:25] Go dancing in the rain. LaVita Loca.

[45:28] Who's Johnny?

[45:32] So this next letter-

[45:32] You got more song titles?

[45:34] That's all the songs. All of them.

[45:37] Every song.

[45:39] Every song that's been written.

[45:41] We just said them all. All five of them.

[45:43] Just turn this thing off.

[45:45] So this next letter is titled-

[45:48] That was sent to the hashtag flop house.

[45:50] It's to Stuart.

[45:51] No.

[45:52] To Stuart's. I'm seeing double.

[45:55] From Sean, last name withheld.

[45:57] Of the dead.

[45:58] Stuart Limington, I've had enough of your hatred.

[46:00] You may have noticed that I've kidnapped the house cat.

[46:03] Your friend, ally, lover.

[46:05] If you want to secure your house cat's safe passage back to Dan's apartment,

[46:08] you'll recommend one of my movies on today's episode.

[46:11] Otherwise, I'll check him into rehab,

[46:13] and who knows what will happen to your party animal friend there.

[46:16] Signed, first name withheld, Hayes.

[46:19] Wait, he doesn't have movie-

[46:20] Wait, does he have movies?

[46:22] He had a TV show, and a Broadway show, and another TV show.

[46:26] Oh, The Three Stooges. That was a Sean Hayes movie.

[46:27] Okay, so I recommend that. Give me back my house cat.

[46:30] Okay.

[46:31] You monster.

[46:33] Um, so, uh, moving on.

[46:36] A flophouse nightmare.

[46:37] I threatened to punch one person, a couple people,

[46:40] and now people make a big deal out of it.

[46:42] I mean, Uwe Boll is the only one I remember you for that.

[46:44] He threatened to punch Dario Argento, too.

[46:46] Oh, yeah.

[46:47] He's a creep.

[46:48] And I think Barack Obama went after him.

[46:50] No way, that's insane.

[46:51] And the Secret Service is coming after you.

[46:52] And the Secret Service?

[46:53] Gerard Butler.

[46:54] He already has a bone to pick with you.

[46:56] Okay, good thing I'm wearing a case over my brain so it cannot be stabbed.

[46:59] You better- the bone to pick is a wishbone.

[47:02] Pull wisely so that you can make your wish to not be beaten up by Gerard Butler.

[47:07] Yeah.

[47:08] But watch out, because then the Wishmaster appears.

[47:10] Okay, I've watched enough Wishmaster movies to know that I'm totally dead.

[47:16] Uh, so this letter's titled, A Flophouse Nightmare.

[47:18] Let's talk about Wishmaster some more.

[47:20] A Flophouse Nightmare.

[47:25] We were doing the Flophouse and we realized we had forgotten our pants.

[47:28] For Stuart, it was not a nightmare.

[47:30] Hi, Floppers.

[47:31] I'm a fairly new listener, but I've got to share the spooky comedy nightmare I had this morning.

[47:35] Fairly new like they just started listening or fairly new like they were just born?

[47:39] Or a clone.

[47:40] That's a good point.

[47:41] Good point.

[47:41] They just came out of their-

[47:42] Back to Tank.

[47:43] Back to- that's what I was- I thought it was Bathy 2 for a second.

[47:46] You guys are right.

[47:47] This emailer should have been more clear.

[47:50] I'm sorry.

[47:51] Sorry, Grouchy McCoy.

[47:52] Continue.

[47:54] I have to share this comedy nightmare I had.

[47:56] In it, I was the Flophouse's own Elliot Kaelin,

[47:59] and I was solving a mysterious rash of child abductions in a strange village.

[48:04] Wow.

[48:05] As Elliot-

[48:06] Weird dream.

[48:06] I traveled to an island and found a clearing in the brush stained with blood.

[48:10] I knew the children were all dead.

[48:12] Wow, this is a horrible dream.

[48:14] I saw a flash of fur and turned to see the culprit.

[48:16] Turns out it was a goofy panther all along.

[48:19] I say goofy because his face-

[48:22] I'm glad you knew that I was going to ask that question.

[48:23] Because his face looked like a taxidermy panther made by someone who'd never seen a panther.

[48:28] Anyway, he ate those children but spared me, Elliot.

[48:31] Or did he?

[48:32] I'll never know because I woke up from laughing.

[48:35] All in all, I'd rate this dream Spookily Good Bad.

[48:38] Flop on, you floppy diamonds.

[48:39] Ashley, last name withheld.

[48:40] That's better than most of my dreams.

[48:42] Wow.

[48:44] That goofy panther sounds pretty horrible,

[48:46] so congratulations for making me totally creeped out.

[48:49] I'm just glad I infiltrated your brain

[48:51] to the point where you want to be me in your dreams.

[48:54] This is the lamest Wicker Man movie.

[48:57] I'm just assuming that panther was Freddy,

[48:58] but he was, like, not trying very hard, you know?

[49:01] He was like,

[49:02] it's time for me to leave for the day,

[49:04] but I got one more kill to do.

[49:06] I'll just be a goofy panther or something.

[49:09] Hey, I'm a goofy panther, bitch.

[49:11] Grr, grr, arr.

[49:13] Grr, bitch.

[49:14] Are you scared?

[49:15] Whatever.

[49:15] Anyway, quitting time.

[49:17] See you later, bitch.

[49:19] The panther, like, punches out,

[49:21] like in those Warner Brothers cartoons.

[49:23] As another guy with a blade finger glove

[49:26] walks in and punches in,

[49:27] hey, Fred.

[49:28] Hey, Tim.

[49:32] Panther, howdy.

[49:33] I'll take over.

[49:34] Grr, grr, I'm a panther, bitch.

[49:40] Freddy, can you come into my office for a second?

[49:42] Yeah, Mr. Gustafson, what is it?

[49:44] Freddy, we've been getting a lot of complaints

[49:46] that you're calling the clients bitch.

[49:48] You know, it's part of my thing.

[49:49] It's just kind of spooky.

[49:50] I'm going to kill them anyway.

[49:52] Yeah, but we can kill the clients with respect.

[49:55] You know, we don't need to be undignified.

[49:57] Scaring is one thing.

[49:58] Sexism is quite another.

[50:00] little place thing called workplace appropriateness and sexual harassment

[50:03] I'm gonna need you to a three-hour training session oh not again come on

[50:07] sir take it easy on the homoeroticism please don't have to rip off everybody's

[50:11] wiener so no there's all this blood down there it was just the one movie so no

[50:17] bitch and no wiener ripping can I do my job now whoa Freddy enough with the

[50:22] talk-back you know I'm this is going in your record no come on another black

[50:25] market I'm on probation double secret probation they'll never let me into the

[50:32] fraternity now I need this job this is the only thing I know how to do killing

[50:35] kids in their dreams if you don't can't go back to being a lawyer that's fine

[50:39] but if you don't shape up we're gonna replace you with Jason it will be a

[50:42] Freddy vs. Jason situation Jason he never talks yeah and he doesn't say bitch as a

[50:46] result Freddy you can learn a thing or two from Jason oh god I think she's so

[50:51] great just because he was in the NHL we get it we get it just cuz his mom's got

[50:59] her head chopped off and he has teleportation abilities and he's a

[51:05] death elemental and a probably zombie Freddy you don't show me another job

[51:09] where you can wear a hat and a striped sweater to work no no you gotta get to the last letter

[51:14] he's got a machete Freddy step in for a second he got killed by a firestarter I

[51:20] Jason can you step in here to both of you now this is a hard decision I know

[51:24] both of you applied to the in space program but we can only send one of you

[51:28] into space and I'm sorry we've made a decision Jason you're going to space and

[51:32] Jason doesn't talk so he just raises his fists and pumps them in the air silently

[51:36] and Freddy's like this is bullshit man I've been with this company 25 years

[51:41] I've killed way more kids than he has I'm not sure that's true Freddy we can

[51:45] check the numbers but it's all about demeanor you got a scratch you scratch

[51:48] our back I'll scratch yours but I don't want you to don't really scratch my back

[51:52] cuz your fingers have blades on them mr. Gustafson I mean I'd respect you but I

[51:57] don't respect the guys upstairs if you know what I mean and maybe that's part

[52:00] of the problem Freddy yeah maybe that's part of the problem

[52:03] close hey yourself shape up and fly right maybe you'll go into space one day

[52:07] whatever I'm never gonna go into space not with that attitude you're not Freddy

[52:11] Jason can you please leave the room I think I have to talk to Freddy again now

[52:16] Freddy well so how long is this bit I mean ready you're on tonight buddy let

[52:21] me be honest you're on thin ice I don't care who your uncle is maybe Bill Kruger

[52:25] runs this company that doesn't mean we have to keep you on the payroll look I've

[52:28] gotten a bet for you a couple times at a certain point at a certain point there's

[52:33] only so much I can do buddy you got to help me help you I know I know you're

[52:36] good okay are we done with Freddy's okay this last letter this ladder this last

[52:45] ladder how we supposed to respond to a ladder I guess it's 12 foot tall there's

[52:51] nothing we could joke letter or as I call it a ladder is is titled hey it's

[52:56] me Elliot why does everyone want to be me all sudden dear well I felt like we

[53:02] were trapped in a weird wormhole yeah to your fellow great Operino's that's

[53:06] right it's me Elliot it's not I know you guys are wondering why write into a

[53:10] podcast I'm actually on and if you're Elliot ie me you're probably wondering

[53:14] why don't I remember writing this letter well shut up for a second because I'm

[53:18] gonna tell you oh please thank you I wrote I wrote it in to tell you guys I'm

[53:22] writing it from the future what I'm terrible is gonna I'm writing just tell

[53:25] you guys what I don't have courage to say in person firstly Dan you are a proud

[53:29] and noble leader and I want you to know I love you not in a weird way but you

[53:35] are the greatest person I know kind of way that's not no I would like to give

[53:38] you my Emmys as a sign of appreciation ignore me if I protest this bequeathal

[53:42] in person I'm just being shy I really want you to have the Emmy so feel free

[53:46] to take it by force and Elliot I mean I have my own you have one you don't need

[53:49] my I don't know why but thank you you may get another one this weekend I don't

[53:53] know don't knock on wood I must have really been on the paint that I wrote

[53:56] this letter but what do I say to Stewart Stewart I do love you in a

[54:00] slash fiction kind of way okay Elliot you're talking to yourself don't panic

[54:08] yet all will be revealed in the porthole of time

[54:11] Dan it's real Dan wink at me now also stop being so coy about ms. Hathaway we

[54:20] totally tap that and now for a series of rapid-fire confession gentlemen never

[54:24] tell number one I've never seen Casablanca nor any other black-and-white

[54:28] movie for that matter I find them boring and only recommend them to seem cool I

[54:31] don't know what I'm saying don't listen to me number two my favorite part of the

[54:34] podcast are they all too rare occasions my brother right in writes in David you

[54:38] are fascinating and awesome oh no it's untrue number three my natural voice is

[54:43] a deep baritone I love Barry White I don't know what he's talking about I

[54:46] mean uh guys I don't number four I have confusing dreams involving the flop

[54:51] house house cat oh well that's true yeah now I know I'm probably protesting

[54:55] this right now in my affected high-pitched voice but rest assured I'm

[54:58] just nervous these are my true feelings and I welcome you to hold me to them

[55:02] flop on sincerely Elliot Kalin PS hey Dan while you're reading this could you

[55:07] do me a favor I'd like you to turn to me and say the following sentence in a

[55:11] gravelly voice do you want to play a little game he got me the only way he

[55:17] knows how by becoming me in order to trap it Elliot I have to become an

[55:22] Elliot when you stare into the abyss the Elliot stares back we who hunt Elliot's

[55:27] become Elliot's ourselves mm-hmm well me that was an interesting letter

[55:31] totally incorrect I must have written it either on Backwards Day or nega Elliot

[55:36] the evil Elliot from another mirror dimension wrote it mm-hmm sure that's

[55:40] the evil dimension where Elliot thinks my brother is interesting bizarro

[55:45] bazelli and Gerard Butler doesn't start on any movies well he stars in good

[55:51] movies in the in the evil universe oh but wait I don't get the wait what are

[55:56] the rules of evil universe it's just opposite stuff okay so he stars in

[56:00] really good books yeah and he's and he's Brazilian cuz that's the opposite of

[56:10] Scottish so and when you invite people into your house they go outside of your

[56:14] house and you say you say bad bye when you mean hello have a bad night and you

[56:21] sort of have a nice day you say heaven oh when you mean goodbye because heaven

[56:25] is the opposite of hell mm-hmm okay yeah and you eat pasta made by chef man RD I

[56:33] guess we chef girl so well we establish those rules for the Mary universe so

[56:43] what are we doing now running stuff we should recommend quickly quickly now

[56:47] quickly some movies quickly down under that watch for recently Ellen we're not

[56:53] not recently if we don't have a good one recommend movies that we actually

[56:58] enjoyed Alan Rickman directs porn movies that's the name he uses Adam

[57:04] Rackman and Adam Shankman movies that we actually enjoyed yeah first I'll go

[57:12] because I only have one on planes a lot lately no I have not but I was on

[57:18] vacation for a couple weeks and I didn't have a chance to see a lot of movies but

[57:22] one thing that I did see while on the road that I enjoyed was the world's end

[57:26] okay that's a conclusion of the Cornetto trilogy the Simon Pegg Edgar

[57:31] Wright Nick Frost film a movie that I initially kind of ranked as my least

[57:38] favorite of the three just because I thought it was the least funny but upon

[57:41] reflection kind of as is climbing up in my estimation yeah it has a lot of

[57:48] genuine emotional content that I kind of respect and I feel like the thing that

[57:54] kind of made gave me the biggest problem was there's a weird left turn kind of

[58:02] the movie takes at the very end of the film yeah that I wasn't necessarily sure

[58:07] I was gonna go along with but I've read some things on the internet that have

[58:10] kind of made me think maybe I would appreciate it more on a second on a

[58:14] second feeling yeah that and the ending didn't quite work for me but it enough

[58:20] you know yeah I'm actually terrible in some ways I think it was my favorite of

[58:24] the three yeah but I feel like of the three movies that's the one that if you

[58:29] took all the crazy stuff out it is the most interesting and holds together I

[58:33] agree and and Simon Pegg's performance in it is fantastic yeah yeah I think

[58:38] it's the best of his work I'm gonna recommend a movie called the place

[58:44] beyond the pines oh I just watched that on a plane what am I doing it was a

[58:49] little long flight it was it was 10 hours but it was business class on

[58:52] Turkish air sweet I had a chair that turns into a bed mm-hmm no kidding it

[58:57] was awesome we had a chair back hookah no that's a stereotype yep and he slept

[59:02] on a fucking pita bread yeah they just fed me Turkish delight it was a delight

[59:09] now that as soon as as soon as the first class as the business class flight takes

[59:15] off they give you a bag of toiletries that's a really nice bag and and with

[59:19] real nice toiletries and and then a good dive a chocolate and it's like now

[59:22] you're just rubbing it in that I'm in business class like just free candy

[59:26] right off the bat anyway I wasn't paying so that's why I

[59:29] could fly that way but the point is placed behind the fine behind the pines

[59:33] the place either way the place in the place adjacent to the pines the place in

[59:38] the pine region New York place beyond the pines sure it's the second

[59:46] between Ryan Gosling and I got the director whose name I'm not gonna move

[59:50] out yeah from blue Valentine let's just call him blue um I recommend it if you

[59:56] like I don't know like a slow pace

[1:00:00] If you like Ryan Gosling's abs, and you like bank robberies, and you also like confused

[1:00:10] protagonists...

[1:00:11] If you like motorcycle stunts inside of round cages, you'd say it's like an intergenerational

[1:00:16] story.

[1:00:17] Yeah, yeah.

[1:00:18] It's hard to kind of talk about, I feel, without kind of ruining elements of it for a person.

[1:00:22] Yeah.

[1:00:23] It's best not to know the plot.

[1:00:24] But a big part of it is that there's a lot of kind of awkward scenes, and I guess characters

[1:00:31] with questionable morals and ethics put in positions where they have to make choices

[1:00:36] they don't want to necessarily.

[1:00:39] Do not watch it if you want something that's going to be very straightforward, or you don't

[1:00:43] like things that are slightly overwrought.

[1:00:46] Do watch it if you like kind of slow movies that take place in Schenectady, New York.

[1:00:51] That take place near pines.

[1:00:53] Yeah.

[1:00:54] Or beyond them.

[1:00:56] As the case may be.

[1:00:57] Yeah.

[1:00:58] Now, I'll recommend my movie as quickly as I can.

[1:01:00] I'm going to recommend a movie.

[1:01:02] People who listen to these in sequence are going to think I only watch François Truffaut

[1:01:05] movies, not realizing it's been like a month since our last episode.

[1:01:08] But I watched one recently that I like a lot, another François Truffaut, called The Story

[1:01:12] of Adele H., which is one I was not familiar with at all before I started watching it.

[1:01:16] But it's a combination of two things I like, François Truffaut and Isabella Gianni in

[1:01:21] her first major role.

[1:01:25] A French woman who is in love with, some would say become obsessed with, an English soldier

[1:01:30] in the 1860s who she's fallen in love with.

[1:01:34] He has been restationed to Halifax, and she, on her own, travels to Halifax and tries to

[1:01:40] win him back with increasingly insane behavior, basically, while becoming more and more obsessed

[1:01:46] in building this fantasy life around her.

[1:01:47] It's like all about Steve.

[1:01:48] Yeah, exactly.

[1:01:49] Basically, building this fantasy life around her.

[1:01:52] And she herself comes from a, I don't want to give away who she is, even though most

[1:01:57] descriptions in the movie give it away, but she comes from a very privileged background

[1:02:01] and this plays into it.

[1:02:02] But the main thing about it is François Truffaut doing like a color historical costume film,

[1:02:09] which is something you don't see from him very much.

[1:02:11] And what he does with it is interesting.

[1:02:12] But also that Isabella Gianni gives one of her kind of classic throwing herself completely

[1:02:19] into a role performances, kind of like in Possession, the crazy movie where she leaves

[1:02:25] her husband Sam Neill for a green tentacle monster, where she is just totally allows

[1:02:30] herself to be totally vulnerable and open in front of the camera and takes herself to

[1:02:35] really intense places.

[1:02:36] And it's just a really fantastic, like brutal performance much of the time.

[1:02:40] This is a woman who really feels like she's going insane before our eyes.

[1:02:44] But it's good.

[1:02:45] The story of Adele H.

[1:02:46] Yes, those are some good recommendations.

[1:02:50] I want to say before we go, though, what do you say?

[1:02:56] Where's this going?

[1:02:57] Listeners should stay tuned.

[1:02:58] Oh, the movie with John Ritter.

[1:03:01] Stay tuned.

[1:03:02] Yeah.

[1:03:03] Well, I mean, I think it's got a nice mom and dad save the world.

[1:03:05] I mean, you know, stay tuned as a nice Chuck Jones directed segment.

[1:03:08] But that's not what I was saying.

[1:03:09] Jeffrey Jones is in it when it was still okay to like him.

[1:03:12] I'm saying stay tuned to the end of this podcast because we're going to give you a little treat

[1:03:18] of some kind, a little treat, a little song, a little song that you guys look at me.

[1:03:23] I dare say if this song had debuted at the beginning of the summer, it would be the song

[1:03:28] of the summer.

[1:03:29] Forget blurred line.

[1:03:30] Get up all night or whatever it was called out all night.

[1:03:33] Get lucky.

[1:03:34] Get lucky.

[1:03:35] That punk song.

[1:03:36] Forget the Miley Cyrus one where she's on a wrecking ball and she's nude.

[1:03:39] Yeah.

[1:03:40] Forget the other Miley Cyrus one where she's like rubbing her butt against things.

[1:03:43] I think this would be the song of the summer.

[1:03:45] The VMAs were asking me if they could debut it there.

[1:03:48] But I said, no, no, no.

[1:03:49] Yeah.

[1:03:50] Flophouse first.

[1:03:51] Flophouse first.

[1:03:52] We appreciate that loyalty.

[1:03:53] Here's the thing.

[1:03:54] Like with movies, a lot of the a lot of the trash, a lot of the trash gets debuted during

[1:03:58] the summer.

[1:03:59] Mm hmm.

[1:04:00] And then when fall comes around.

[1:04:01] It's awards season.

[1:04:02] Yeah.

[1:04:03] Awards.

[1:04:04] Awards films.

[1:04:05] I'm going to name this the song of the autumn.

[1:04:07] Everyone's going to be listening to all autumn long.

[1:04:08] Yeah.

[1:04:09] Mm hmm.

[1:04:10] So zip up your cardigans.

[1:04:11] Yeah.

[1:04:12] Over your button down shirts.

[1:04:13] Put it on your pod listeners.

[1:04:16] Put it on your pod.

[1:04:17] Yeah.

[1:04:18] What?

[1:04:19] Rake the leaves in front of your house while listening to this soon to be hit.

[1:04:22] Jack it into your ears.

[1:04:23] Heart style.

[1:04:26] And take a listen to this new single.

[1:04:28] Pull the guts out of a pumpkin.

[1:04:29] Yeah.

[1:04:30] But while you're doing it, listen to this.

[1:04:32] This is music to eat a turkey to.

[1:04:34] Yeah.

[1:04:35] Or look at some decorative corn cobs.

[1:04:39] This is the pumpkin spice coffee of songs.

[1:04:42] Put a put a cornucopia up to your ear.

[1:04:45] Indeed.

[1:04:46] Put 10 cornucopias up to your ears.

[1:04:48] Put a hundred cornucopias up to your ears.

[1:04:50] And as the bounty of music flows forth into your brain holes, just enjoy it.

[1:04:57] But before that, that deluge of musical genius cascades over you, I would just like to sign

[1:05:04] off saying that I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:05:06] Over there is Elliot Kaelin.

[1:05:08] And ahead of me is that, it is Stuart Wellington.

[1:05:11] Then that means land, land, we've reached land.

[1:05:15] Good night everyone.

[1:05:18] And now an exclusive Flophouse event, Alex Smith and Stuart Wellington present their

[1:05:24] new single.

[1:05:25] Uh, can I get your attention please?

[1:05:27] This is the captain speaking.

[1:05:29] Can somebody tell that house cat to stop partying?

[1:05:41] Uh oh.

[1:05:42] An ancient prophecy speaks of a mighty house cat rising from a blood red sea.

[1:05:48] Some say he was born in a puddle of toxic waste.

[1:05:52] Some say he's the son of the devil himself.

[1:05:55] He hangs out with the Flophouse guys.

[1:05:59] He's the house cat.

[1:06:01] Did you, did you, did you know about the house cat?

[1:06:05] That house cat is a badass.

[1:06:10] No nerds allowed, not when the house cat's in town.

[1:06:14] Did you know about the house cat?

[1:06:17] Uh oh.

[1:06:18] Excuse me doctor, but the diagnosis for that house cat is radical.

[1:06:24] Well of course he's ten feet tall.

[1:06:28] He's covered in silky white black fur.

[1:06:31] He only wears his baseball cap on backwards.

[1:06:34] He's incredibly wealthy.

[1:06:36] Sunglasses?

[1:06:37] A necessity.

[1:06:38] Sometimes he wears overalls.

[1:06:40] He doesn't smoke cigarettes because they're bad for your health.

[1:06:43] His favorite instrument?

[1:06:45] The guitar.

[1:06:46] Favorite food?

[1:06:47] Pizza.

[1:06:48] Favorite movie?

[1:06:49] Road to Perdition.

[1:06:50] Favorite book?

[1:06:51] Tuck Everlasting.

[1:06:52] Tuck Everlasting.

[1:06:53] The house cat.

[1:06:59] That house cat does not play by the rules.

[1:07:04] It's been four days since we went out into the bush and that Flophouse cat is going completely feral.

[1:07:11] Uh oh.

[1:07:12] He's wearing his overalls, picking up it.

[1:07:16] Eating some food.

[1:07:18] Drinking some brews.

[1:07:22] Knocking over nerds.

[1:07:24] Breaking the rules.

[1:07:26] Ruining weddings and breaking up rules.

[1:07:32] No way, two babes at once?

[1:07:37] I've been with too many humans heroes.

[1:07:41] Time to get with a house cat hero.

[1:07:46] No, no, no, no, no.

[1:07:47] Leave the sunglasses on.

[1:07:50] We sure hope you haven't been declawed.

[1:07:52] A funky house cat.

[1:07:59] Who gave that cat those clothes?

[1:08:04] Mr. President, have you ever heard of a house cat?

[1:08:09] He's so powerful.

[1:08:11] Uh oh.

[1:08:12] I don't know what's going on here, officer.

[1:08:15] That house cat should be in class, but instead he stole my girlfriend.

[1:08:20] House cat.

[1:08:27] Where'd he come from?

[1:08:28] That's the thing nobody knows.

[1:08:32] You're gonna have to hand in your badge and gun unless you can turn in this house cat that's been terrorizing the town.

[1:08:38] Uh oh.

[1:08:39] And the award for baddest dude goes to...

[1:08:43] The house cat, of course.

The Flop House: Episode #135 - Olympus Has Fallen

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