The Flop House: Episode #143 - Battle of the Year

[0:00] On this episode, we step up to the B-Boy Dance Competition Movie, Battle of the Year.

[0:31] Hey everybody, welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] Hey, thanks for coming to the Flophouse. I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:39] Hey, thanks for coming to the Flophouse. I'm Hallie Haglund.

[0:44] What the? Hallie Haglund?

[0:48] That's right, boys.

[0:51] Ladies are doing it for themselves. Coming through.

[0:58] In case you're wondering where the reedy tones of Elliot Galen are.

[1:03] He left the Flophouse forever and is never coming back?

[1:06] No, not true. Elliot is on paternity leave.

[1:11] We call that sabbatical here at the Flophouse.

[1:13] Yeah, he's going to be gone through the month of January.

[1:16] So tune back in in February.

[1:20] His baby will be fully grown by February.

[1:24] Off to college. Studying, I don't know, nerd stuff.

[1:29] We call that doogie housering. That's what that show is about, right?

[1:33] A baby who grew up really fast.

[1:35] A baby doctor.

[1:38] Elliot decided to keep the fact that he was expecting, and by he, I mean his wife,

[1:45] was expecting under wraps.

[1:47] Because he doesn't like spoilers.

[1:49] Well, he wanted to keep a tiny part of his life private from you vultures.

[1:52] That tiny being a tiny baby.

[1:54] Very tiny.

[1:56] But now that the cat is out of the bag or the baby is out of the vagina.

[2:02] The baby is out of the womb.

[2:04] I try to keep it PG, Dan, thanks.

[2:06] Vagina is totally a PG-13 word, I guess.

[2:09] We can tell you that he's on a brief paternity leave for a couple of episodes.

[2:14] But he promises that he will be back in spite of having a new baby and a new job

[2:19] as head writer of The Daily Show, which we can say now, too,

[2:22] because that cat is also out of the bag.

[2:24] So, congratulations.

[2:26] Everything's coming up Kalen.

[2:28] Meanwhile, the three of us, stuck here.

[2:32] So, if this is your first time tuning in to The Flop West,

[2:35] we talk about this guy, Elliot, for a while,

[2:37] and then we talk about a movie we just watched.

[2:39] Yeah, okay.

[2:40] And we talk about what Elliot would think of the movie.

[2:43] This is primarily not an Elliot Kalen podcast.

[2:46] It is most of the time a bad movie podcast.

[2:49] Or potentially great movie, right?

[2:51] Some of the time it's an Elliot Kalen podcast,

[2:53] based on the amount of time he spends talking.

[2:55] Sure, Elliot Byrne in absentia.

[2:57] But we watch bad movies and then we talk about it.

[3:01] And tonight we watched a little movie called Battle of the Year.

[3:05] Battle of the Year, that sounds great.

[3:07] Is it about orcs and hill dwarves and fire giants?

[3:11] Battle of the Year.

[3:16] Yep, it's about Vincent Van Gogh.

[3:19] It's a hearing contest.

[3:22] Yes, the untold story of Vincent Van Gogh and his ear.

[3:26] It's very Evil Dead 2.

[3:28] It's like over the top, but it's about hearing.

[3:31] See, you've heard Vincent Van Gogh's side,

[3:34] but you've never heard the ear's side.

[3:37] Heard?

[3:39] Because that's what ears do, they hear things.

[3:42] Was it Van Gogh or was it the ear?

[3:44] Who's finally free of his prison.

[3:47] So he can pursue his dream of being a famous painter, I guess.

[3:52] No, this is a dance movie.

[3:55] What movie was that?

[3:57] Something singing in the rain?

[3:59] What's dance?

[4:01] Dancing in the rain.

[4:03] It's like when you hear a song and your body moves.

[4:07] Yeah, no, I wasn't asking what dancing is.

[4:09] I said, is it like singing in the rain?

[4:12] Isn't that Gene Kelly's dance movie?

[4:14] Yeah, that's Gene Kelly's dance movie, singing in the rain.

[4:18] Popular B-boy, Gene Kelly.

[4:23] Personally, I found the story behind the movie more interesting than the story.

[4:28] What's the story of the movie, Dan?

[4:30] I can't.

[4:32] Dan spent most of the movie being dinner detective,

[4:35] tracking down his dinner order.

[4:37] Not just my dinner order.

[4:39] Which is why he finds the Wikipedia entry about this movie more interesting than the movie

[4:43] because he didn't see the most riveting parts.

[4:45] I love this movie.

[4:47] I was also tracking down Hallie's dinner order.

[4:50] It wasn't just me, man.

[4:52] I took the fucking bullet for all of us except for you.

[4:55] Yeah, no, I already brought my dinner order.

[4:57] So let me summarize this movie.

[5:00] Strappen, this is going to be a bumpy ride.

[5:04] So, smash cut.

[5:06] Wait, we're starting off?

[5:09] So the movie opens with, I think, a bunch of guys dancing.

[5:13] We cut to an entrepreneur played by somebody named something

[5:18] who wants to sponsor the American dance crew, like break dance crew.

[5:25] It's something they do on TV sometimes.

[5:27] B-boying.

[5:29] I'm not necessarily sure.

[5:31] There was a lot of talk of Stewart's new cat

[5:35] and showing of pictures of Stewart's new kitten to Hallie.

[5:38] So I'm not really sure who this entrepreneur was.

[5:40] I think he runs B-boy magazine.

[5:43] My new kitten runs B-boy magazine?

[5:45] Yeah.

[5:47] He should really be contributing to the household a little bit more.

[5:50] Yeah, well, it helps because cat food is expensive.

[5:54] But the point is there's a contest called Battle of the Year,

[5:58] which is based on a real contest called Battle of the Year.

[6:00] Or Bodie.

[6:02] Where B-boys from all over the globe.

[6:05] B-boys battle each other.

[6:08] With what?

[6:10] Better dancing.

[6:12] Why don't they call it just BODY?

[6:14] Wouldn't that be B-O-D-Y?

[6:17] Yeah.

[6:18] No, but wait, that would be Battle of the Year.

[6:20] But you're not saying BOTTY, BODDY, are you?

[6:23] BOTTY?

[6:24] I think they omit the T entirely.

[6:27] I mean, BOTTY does sound like does baby want his body?

[6:32] Yeah, yes, you're right.

[6:36] Which is what Elliot's saying right now.

[6:38] So this thing's called Battle of the Year.

[6:42] This entrepreneur needs to bring in a new coach because the United States team has not won in 15 years,

[6:50] which is true, right, Dan?

[6:51] You fact-checked that?

[6:52] Yeah, I did fact-check that in the actual Battle of the Year.

[6:55] According to Wikipedia.

[6:56] 100% accurate.

[6:57] What was it, like, 96, 98?

[7:00] Yeah, 96.

[7:01] Actually 15 years ago.

[7:03] Okay.

[7:04] I don't know math.

[7:05] From out of retirement.

[7:06] As of 2013.

[7:07] 98.

[7:08] Josh Halloway from the TV show Lost.

[7:11] Hit show Lost.

[7:12] Or the new show Intelligence, where I guess his brain can access the Internet?

[7:17] He's super smart, like a Johnny Mnemonic.

[7:20] And so Josh Halloway's brought in.

[7:23] Is he like a Jake 2.0 in that show?

[7:26] He's like an almost human.

[7:27] Is he a Chuck?

[7:29] He's like Sliders.

[7:31] Okay.

[7:32] So Josh Halloway is brought in.

[7:33] He's got a drinking problem.

[7:35] He drinks out of a flask.

[7:36] He never has to fill up that flask, so I guess it's magic.

[7:40] So Josh Halloway is brought in.

[7:42] You got it from Gollum.

[7:47] He did bring it from Gollum.

[7:48] Hallie, if you didn't know, Gollum is.

[7:51] We're not talking about the Jewish folklore monster.

[7:53] We're talking about the character from the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit trilogy.

[7:56] Yeah, that's it.

[7:57] I thought that.

[7:59] You weren't thinking of the Jewish monster from folklore?

[8:01] No.

[8:02] The Ghetto of Prague?

[8:03] I thought that was Gollum.

[8:04] Yeah, you're right.

[8:06] Hallie, fact check to you.

[8:08] Okay.

[8:09] So Josh Halloway's got a drinking problem because his wife and apparently 15-year-old son died in a car accident.

[8:16] Who, by the way, according to his pictures, like a baby.

[8:20] So we afforded a lot more sympathy for him for most of the movie.

[8:25] Stuart at the end was like, what the fuck?

[8:27] He was 15 when he died?

[8:29] As if that was not a tragedy at that point.

[8:32] That's the thing.

[8:34] He probably kissed a girl by that time.

[8:36] He lived a rich, full life.

[8:37] Yeah, exactly.

[8:38] He probably had gotten this for his job.

[8:40] He knew what it was like to be human before he passed away.

[8:43] He's probably going on to heaven or hell appropriately, not stuck in some weird purgatory.

[8:47] Okay.

[8:48] Yeah, fair enough.

[8:50] So he is grieving over the loss of these family members.

[8:54] He is pulled into the job of coaching the United States team.

[8:59] Because he was like a young talent.

[9:02] Yeah.

[9:03] Nicknamed WB.

[9:05] Yep, he's named after the Warner Brothers TV channel.

[9:09] But he was a basketball coach, right?

[9:12] That was the thing.

[9:13] No, that came after.

[9:14] Because he was this incredible B-boy.

[9:17] And they said he went from White Bread.

[9:20] He was the only white guy on the team.

[9:22] And he went from White Bread to Wonder Bread.

[9:24] Which is why his nickname is WB.

[9:27] I missed this whole thing.

[9:29] I thought that the guy literally came in and was just like,

[9:32] well, we need someone who can whip this team into shape.

[9:35] You, basketball coach.

[9:37] You're good at coaching things.

[9:38] Do it.

[9:40] No, but then he had to do right by his girlfriend who he got pregnant.

[9:43] So he took the championship basketball coaching job as a concession.

[9:48] Well, he took a basketball coaching job that became a championship team.

[9:52] Because he succeeds at everything he does,

[9:54] except for keeping his wife and child alive.

[9:56] So you're saying that the girlfriend, later wife,

[10:00] trapped him, died. So really there shouldn't be any sympathy there either.

[10:05] Like it's really, like he just liked drinking is basically what happened.

[10:09] Yeah I mean that was probably, he probably was drunk, he forgot to put on a condom. It happens

[10:13] I guess, and then he had a child. I guess that's not that funny. So he is brought in to coach the

[10:21] team. His assistant coach is played by Josh Peck from Flaphouse Faves, Red Dawn, and what was the

[10:30] I can't remember either. It's that droopy face kid that we don't like. He's on the Mindy Project,

[10:36] yep. Hold on I'll look it up while you keep talking. Yeah he was ATM, he was the asshole.

[10:40] I think he's the one who decides they shouldn't murder that stranger for some reason. He's the

[10:45] guy who's like let's park over, let's go to the ATM. Yep he's the guy who says the name of the

[10:52] movie. He's like hey you know it'd be fun let's go to an ATM and get some money out. He plays the

[10:57] Jewish character who claims that he lost his ability to dance along with the tip of his penis

[11:03] I guess when he was circumcised because that's what happens right? They chop it off. And like

[11:06] the first 10 minutes there's at least four jokes about how Jews can't dance. Yeah I feel like he's

[11:12] been like he has his type five that he's been working on. He just managed to get it all out.

[11:18] So at this point Josh Halloway sees the American team, he thinks they're tired,

[11:23] he fires them all and then he comes up with a great idea. Let's do a basically a casting call

[11:30] of the best b-boys, b-boy stands for badass dancers I think, from around the United States

[11:37] and basically do a giant reality show where they all come in and try out and then he picks a bunch.

[11:43] And then one gets eliminated every week. Yeah exactly like a reality show and it all happens

[11:48] at a former juvenile detention center. Once again like a reality show except one of those

[11:53] contestants is played by actor Chris Brown. Actor and puncher Chris Brown. He is a famous puncher

[12:00] of people. Yep. You got some thoughts on that? No I think I'm wondering how far we can go down

[12:09] this road while not alienating our audience. See Chris Brown you might not know fact that Chris

[12:16] Brown punched Flophouse favorite Rihanna, star of Battleship. Oh yeah. Yeah former Flophouse.

[12:22] It all comes back together. I guess the puzzle's complete.

[12:27] It's like the end of Usual Suspects. It's all coming together.

[12:37] No I just want to back up in a second and just point out that Josh Halloway is a really good guy.

[12:42] Yeah I've hung out with him. We go to brunch together. He's just trying to do right. Yeah man.

[12:49] He shaves sometimes in the movie but he always has a fun time. Don't judge him until you've

[12:52] punched my own shoes. Wait wait Josh Halloway or Chris Brown? I don't know.

[13:00] But you're just you just want to stand up and say you don't care who knows it you think Chris

[13:04] Brown is a great dancer and you're right he is a great dancer. He is a great dancer. Yeah and he's

[13:09] also about two feet taller than all the other dancers on this team. Yeah. If I want to watch a

[13:14] movie with 13 indistinguishable characters I'm going to watch Hobbit An Unexpected Journey. Boom.

[13:20] Take that Peter Jackson. I'm just joking I love the director. Who we like. No I just wanted to point

[13:28] I just want to back up and point out that Josh Halloway's brilliant idea to win battle of the

[13:31] year his game-changing idea is like hey let's put together a dream team and no one apparently

[13:37] thought of that before. Yeah he even gets a little pushback from the guy who hired him he's like I

[13:42] don't know about that why don't we just I had these guys training for a while. No let's get

[13:47] all-stars in here like no I don't think all-stars will star enough. Just a regular team. What about

[13:52] our team that keeps losing? They have potential. Yeah they're two they've lost for 15 years in a

[13:58] row. I've got a lot of emotions wrapped up in there. We're playing the odds here.

[14:02] So he brings in this team of uh of all-stars he takes them all to this juvenile detention center

[14:10] he wears a like a cap like he does wear like a cap like a like a boxing trainer

[14:17] looks like a longshoreman. He wears a hoodie. He wears a hoodie. He forces them. And nothing else.

[14:24] Wait really? I haven't seen that part. You were too caught up in the dancing.

[14:30] I was caught up in Dan's dinner problem. You missed the raw eroticism.

[14:36] So uh then we have a we have a little bit of dancing and a lot of dancing actors kind of

[14:42] fighting each other. There's a homosexual dancer who explains that you know that's

[14:48] little Adonis. None of the characters none of the dancers have names they all have like taglines.

[14:56] Chris Brown is Rooster. Rooster uh Sniper is a former Afghanistan war veteran.

[15:04] There's a guy. Wait is that the is that what he was? Yeah he said after Afghanistan this is what

[15:09] I needed to do. Oh god I didn't miss that. You got a couple you got a couple of Southies from

[15:14] South Boston right? That's that's an accent. Yeah there's the guy whose nickname is Dance Real Good.

[15:20] Oh wow. Is that all one word? We got separated by islands. I just got it.

[15:24] Chris Brown's nickname is Rooster. Roost. Roost. Her. I don't understand. Wait a minute. Hold on.

[15:33] Like be the woman. Roost. Roost. Wait I thought that your roost means.

[15:42] I don't understand. I assumed it was because you're so cocky. No.

[15:46] I've been wrong before. Roost. Her.

[15:52] Slower if I get it. Let me blur my eyes and step back from it. All right. I see it. It's a sailboat.

[16:01] So there's a bunch of uh split screens. Yeah there's a lot of De Palma-esque split screens.

[16:07] Chris Brown and another guy are mad at each other because. Another guy whose

[16:10] main character trait is he likes hats. Yeah I couldn't. He wears a lot of hats on the team.

[16:17] It was some sort of like they had like a like a twitter war over a girl or something. I can't

[16:21] remember. I think the twitter war thing might have been a joke. Okay. But they were over a girl. Yeah.

[16:27] But it turns out that Chris Brown's thing was over two months before the other guy got with her.

[16:34] That was in the big reveal.

[16:38] There's also a character who keeps sneaking out. The homosexual character has kind of a beef with

[16:43] the military character because I guess the military guy is. Has a beef with him. Yeah I

[16:48] guess you're right. Yeah. I was I'm stuck on the fact that like the resolution of that was just

[16:53] like hey bro it was over for two months before we got together. It's just like okay first of all

[17:00] you shouldn't have been angry in the first place. Like you're like commoditizing this woman. It's

[17:04] like no that was mine. But then like apparently it's fine if it didn't overlap. Like that was

[17:11] the problem there. It was just like okay you know like this is a commodity that can't be traded.

[17:18] But yeah it's fine. Great. That makes sense. I guess they both. You're a real poet.

[17:33] It works at so many levels.

[17:37] So one by one guys are given bus tickets to go back home from this weird death camp of dancing.

[17:44] Oh yeah and then like halfway through the movie. But they don't want them. Yeah they don't want those

[17:47] tickets. Sometimes they try and convince Josh Halloway that they're not deserving of a ticket.

[17:52] First you guys should know that the best b-boy on the whole team was the first guy to get sent back.

[17:57] That doesn't make any sense at all. Hallie explain. Because there's no I in team.

[18:05] His code name was I. So it wasn't his fault. He shouldn't have even asked him to come in the

[18:11] first place. They brought him along just to make a mess of him. So people are slowly sent home.

[18:19] Josh Peck aka Franklin with a Y I guess doesn't really do anything. He kind of acts as Josh

[18:26] Halloway's conscience. They bring in a female character which Hallie was very excited by.

[18:31] Because before it was a total sausage fest. It was halfway through the movie before a lady

[18:35] you see two women in this whole movie and one doesn't have any lines and one has like two and

[18:42] I kept thinking like what is this Star Trek into darkness boom boom light them up topical okay

[18:49] continue uh but she the girl couldn't even dance um the one who was supposed to be the choreographer

[18:57] yeah oh well there was three babies three sweet babies wait a minute I only saw one baby

[19:05] that's what I'm saying so there were three girls yeah yeah that's true

[19:11] and there was that picture of the wife who died so four there were four women in this

[19:16] movie performance amazing so wait there's the wife who died there's a choreographer

[19:21] there's the wife of the one guy who kept sneaking up to his wife yeah

[19:27] the guy kept sneaking out he was the other wife's new baby and guess what the coach follows him

[19:33] goes to his hotel room it's like what are you doing the guy comes out of the bathroom it's like

[19:37] I'm keeping my baby in this hotel bathroom and he's like let me swaddle your baby and then wraps

[19:43] the baby up and the baby starts crying I think we all know babies are basically get out of jail

[19:49] free cards yeah he's keeping his baby so many people have them why so many people have babies

[19:56] and then use those babies as excuses not to do things yep

[20:00] Burn. That's why so many people have babies in jail.

[20:07] Okay, so after a while they're whittled down. Chris Brown tries to do this crazy dance stunt and hurts his leg.

[20:14] He's off the team. Screw that guy.

[20:16] I couldn't tell whether he broke his leg or maybe he had a knee injury.

[20:20] The weird thing is after he hurt his knee, he wore a hat that was a very Dan McCoy style hat.

[20:26] Do you guys get those when you hurt your knees?

[20:28] Yeah.

[20:29] Like a little paperboy cap?

[20:31] Yeah, they're handed out at the hospital for special surgery.

[20:34] Did you guys ever meet each other in PT?

[20:37] Yep.

[20:38] That's me and Rooster.

[20:39] That's physical therapy.

[20:40] Thanks.

[20:42] Not personal therapy.

[20:43] Although he could probably use it from all of his punching therapy, thank you.

[20:50] He goes to BBPT, which is B-Boy PT.

[20:54] I go to RGPT, regular PT.

[20:59] So the rest of the B-Boys get on a plane, they shoot some shots of them clowning around in an airport.

[21:05] Yeah, it's like Richard Lester from Hard Day's Night takes over the camera for a second.

[21:10] He's like, let's fast motion a bunch of people walking across the street in a funny way.

[21:14] In France, of all places.

[21:16] It was a great time.

[21:18] They climbed on some statues.

[21:20] They marched across the Arc de Triomphe like they were soldiers.

[21:25] Very quickly.

[21:26] Did a little skateboarding around.

[21:28] It was nice to see them enjoying each other.

[21:32] The best part is that they're doing a lot of dancing and clowning around, which is exactly what Chris Brown did moments before he hurt himself.

[21:38] So any one of them could have ruined the United States team's chances, and I was a little disappointed with their performance.

[21:46] So it's the night before the first round, and they go to a bar.

[21:50] And immediately I'm like, okay, this is the scene in the movie where they go to a bar and they get into a fist fight.

[21:55] And I thought, oh, it'll take a little while before they get into the fist fight.

[21:59] But it's immediate.

[22:01] Yeah, normally movies like this, which is movies about dancing B-Boys, they introduce a rival team.

[22:11] As opposed to B-Boys who are like doctors without borders.

[22:16] Doctors without ba-borders.

[22:19] Yeah.

[22:21] So usually they introduce a rival team that is super cocky and is like, oh, United States guys, you are total assholes.

[22:29] That's the French team.

[22:31] But they didn't do that.

[22:33] They just had the homosexual B-Boy little Adonis, of course.

[22:36] Well, they did lay some groundwork at the very beginning when the coach first got hired and he was made to watch all these videos.

[22:43] And he had one line that said, man, the Koreans are really good.

[22:47] Yeah, basically.

[22:49] So that was – he just set the watermark, like the line.

[22:52] That's what everybody has to hit.

[22:54] Yeah.

[22:55] Don't miss that line, you guys.

[22:57] It's going to be important.

[22:59] So little Adonis gets into a scrap with some guy with a beard.

[23:03] He is defended by Sniper who, as you'll remember from our earlier comments, was the homophobic character.

[23:10] His personal growth.

[23:13] The drink spilled fellows' buddies start a fistfight.

[23:17] There's no homophobe in tea.

[23:19] And after a very brief and uninteresting punching and kicking spell, we find out that Sniper might be removed from the team on grounds of disqualification for starting a fight.

[23:31] For being gay.

[23:32] Yeah.

[23:33] Sniper was gay too.

[23:34] That's the irony.

[23:35] That's why he was so mad.

[23:36] And by the way, meanwhile Josh Holloway is off with the lady choreographer and it looks like, oh, we're finally going to get a romantic subplot in this movie.

[23:42] And that never really comes to fruition.

[23:44] I could have used something to get over his pain.

[23:46] Yeah.

[23:47] Well, I mean, you know, Stuart, if there's one thing you like in a movie, it's a little smooching.

[23:52] Yeah.

[23:53] You didn't even get any.

[23:54] Just a little bit of kissing.

[23:55] Some hugging and a kissing.

[23:57] He needs something to get over the loss of his 15-year-old son.

[24:01] Which is kissing.

[24:03] He hasn't kissed anybody since he kissed the forehead of his 15-year-old son before strapping him into a car seat.

[24:12] That's what I tell parents who have lost a child.

[24:16] Go out there and get some.

[24:18] Just get some.

[24:19] Have you ever considered kissing?

[24:22] I think somebody says that to Llewyn Davis in Inside Llewyn Davis, right?

[24:25] You can get over the loss of your friend by kissing somebody.

[24:28] Yeah.

[24:29] Kiss him good.

[24:31] So.

[24:32] So he didn't, by the way.

[24:34] Spoiler.

[24:35] No.

[24:36] There's no love.

[24:37] There's no love.

[24:38] No love in B-Boy.

[24:40] Yes.

[24:42] And if you were wondering, at no point does Josh Halloway do any dancing, even though it's alluded that his character had danced at some point in the past.

[24:49] Right.

[24:50] And at no point does Gregory Peck, what's his name?

[24:53] Gregory Peck?

[24:54] Gregory Peck does not.

[24:59] Just so you guys don't get your hopes up.

[25:02] Gregory Peck does not dance in this movie, okay?

[25:05] Yeah.

[25:06] I mean, their hopes probably weren't up before you said his name, but now they got excited.

[25:10] But also Joshua.

[25:11] Josh Peck, yep.

[25:12] Josh.

[25:13] Old droopy face.

[25:14] I refer to him as Joshua.

[25:15] Yeah.

[25:16] I feel like there was some heavy foreshadowing to like, this is going to be, someone's going to get eliminated and he's actually going to prove to be an unnaturally talented B-Boy and take this team to the top.

[25:30] Yeah.

[25:31] I think the moment when Josh Halloway goes off to talk to the judges to try and convince them not to disqualify Sniper.

[25:38] Oh, that's what happened?

[25:39] I think he literally went off screen and they're like, yeah, that guy actually can't dance.

[25:42] He can't get Josh Peck to dance.

[25:44] And he's like, oh, okay, it's in his contract.

[25:46] Oh, Sniper, you're not disqualified.

[25:47] They're like, what about Gregory Peck?

[25:49] Like, sir, he's a ghost.

[25:51] I don't know how well that will work out.

[25:52] He's dead.

[25:53] We don't have choreography for a ghost.

[25:54] What about Walter Peck from Ghostbusters?

[25:58] Yep, Walter Peck from Ghostbusters.

[25:59] He doesn't have a dick, so he probably can move pretty well.

[26:02] Yeah.

[26:03] What about a peck?

[26:04] No kissing in this movie.

[26:06] Not allowed.

[26:09] Dancing and kissing do not mix.

[26:12] We do not con to that around here.

[26:16] So I guess fast forward to the actual Battle of the Year United States team.

[26:23] We see, like, snippets of other countries performing and dancing.

[26:27] Apparently the Koreans do really well.

[26:29] And then the United States team performs, and they do really well, including an amazing blindfold.

[26:36] How can you dance where you can't see?

[26:39] It's like the forbidden dance.

[26:41] So then they do an announcement of the top four teams.

[26:47] Korea, of course, takes number one because they're the best at everything in the world forever.

[26:51] And the United States comes in number four, which means they're in the top four.

[26:55] That's a pretty big deal, Dan, right?

[26:57] Germany and France also among the winners.

[27:00] Not winners, finalists.

[27:03] Semi-finalists?

[27:04] I guess, yeah, it would be semi-finalists.

[27:07] You really remember the different seeds in this fictional competition.

[27:13] I was riveted.

[27:14] This real competition that has been fictionalized.

[27:16] The competition then gets pretty intense because rather than just doing a solo dance,

[27:20] they're doing, like, a dance battle where they do moves and then the other team does moves.

[27:24] There's some kind of a scoring system that I have no understanding of.

[27:27] I don't know if you get more points for jumping higher or spinning around more or doing better, like, sassy hand movements.

[27:33] Or jumping sideways.

[27:34] Jumping sideways looks pretty amazing.

[27:35] That seems really hard.

[27:36] There's a lot of that, right?

[27:37] Yeah.

[27:38] A lot of spinning around on the ground or bouncing on one hand.

[27:40] A lot of head spinning.

[27:41] You know what looks really hard, especially when they, like, jump really fast in the air,

[27:45] but then they slow down as they land.

[27:48] Yeah, I like it when they act like they're a movie reel that's being sped up or slowed down.

[27:53] Yeah.

[27:54] What did you like, Dan?

[27:57] I liked when the feet moved good.

[28:01] Sure, yeah.

[28:02] That's exactly right.

[28:04] Dan was kind of riveted to the knees most of the time, right?

[28:08] Dan didn't watch a lot of them because he was mostly just dancing.

[28:13] Yeah, he was practicing his moves.

[28:14] He felt, yeah.

[28:15] I mean, I feel the beat of the rhythm of the night, guys.

[28:18] Okay.

[28:19] And I'm a dance machine.

[28:24] Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[28:26] Original B-boy.

[28:29] Dan McClure, original B-boy.

[28:31] Yeah, that's why I'm so bad at it.

[28:32] I was the first one.

[28:34] Yeah, but, like, people say that they're, like, way into your moves,

[28:37] but you're kind of like a Model T car.

[28:39] Like, nobody's going to drive it.

[28:41] Yeah, I'm like how people are like, oh, you know who's really good?

[28:44] Those old, like, the really old blues magicians, and you listen to it,

[28:47] and you're like, this is not, I don't like this.

[28:50] Yeah, blues magicians are the weirdest ones

[28:53] because they're really sad when they're doing it.

[28:57] They'll pull out, instead of pulling a rabbit out of the hat,

[28:59] they'll pull out, like, a picture frame of their ex-wife or something.

[29:06] Yeah, B-blues magicians.

[29:12] I was confused.

[29:13] I was imagining blues magicians, B-boy people.

[29:17] Sometimes Dan just says completely weird words, Haley.

[29:21] The trick is you've got to latch on to them and make fun of them.

[29:24] I want to meet the Renaissance.

[29:29] B-boy magician and blues musician.

[29:34] It's a real, what they call in the business a triple threat.

[29:37] I know you're out there.

[29:38] Sure.

[29:40] Send your letter to the Flop House podcast at internet.gov.

[29:47] So after doing a bunch of flips and twirls,

[29:50] the United States makes it to the finals with South, or no, regular Korea.

[29:55] Regular Korea.

[29:57] Original flavor.

[29:59] There is no regular.

[30:00] nuclear but they don't know if they don't know if they are they south korea

[30:04] i don't think they're north korea calling themselves the soul assassins

[30:08] i'm assuming after the city sold not for the thing that i had a i think

[30:13] now they're based after this year but they may have to the movie soul

[30:16] survivors

[30:19] not the song soul survivor so uh...

[30:23] the united states battles korea and

[30:26] which is like red dawn yeah it's just like red dawn josh peck is on the edge

[30:30] of the seat

[30:32] and it is tense and there's a uh... the they all get together and there's a

[30:37] final scoring in the united states

[30:39] loses by one point total bummer like rocky

[30:44] the moral victory comes in second alley look you look sad did you just realize

[30:48] the united states and when

[30:50] i just realized like

[30:52] the thing about this i just realized we're all gonna die someday guys

[30:57] i could predict this movie at every turn for the most part except expecting the

[31:02] gregory peck part

[31:05] except i thought you know like clockwork they would win and then they really

[31:11] threw me for a loop

[31:12] so

[31:14] what was a good movie became a great movie

[31:19] that's how you elevate a piece of art

[31:21] as you would say that like this movie is very predictable but

[31:24] the one thing that was unpredictable about it was like the timing of when

[31:28] certain

[31:29] predictable elements came in

[31:31] like the fact that

[31:32] the lady choreographer came in

[31:34] like halfway through the movie

[31:36] the fact that

[31:37] the end of the movie the very end when they came in second was when

[31:40] josh holloway like made a big speech to all the answers being like

[31:44] hey my wife and kid died

[31:46] and that's inspirational somehow

[31:49] fifteen yes it was like after they left but it came at the end of the movie

[31:53] like i feel like that's the sort of thing that comes in the middle of the

[31:55] movie where it's just like

[31:56] you guys gotta straighten up because my wife and kid died

[31:59] yeah it normally comes in the middle of the movie when the rest of the team's like

[32:02] why is this guy such an asshole yeah like that guy's not an asshole that guy's a

[32:06] widower yeah that guy's got

[32:09] uh... emotional issues

[32:11] he's soulful

[32:13] he's he's got depth

[32:16] he's not drinking liquor out of that flask he's drinking sadness tears

[32:21] sadness tears

[32:24] not happiness tears he would be super pumped if he was drinking happiness tears

[32:27] i'm not collecting my happiness tears

[32:30] and filtering them into this flask to drink later

[32:34] only sadness

[32:35] uh...

[32:36] yes so the united states gets second place but there's an upside because

[32:41] there's probably going to be another battle of the year right

[32:44] and guess who gets to be in it?

[32:46] roosters

[32:48] oh i get it now

[32:53] uh... and then they're like everybody laughs at the end of the movie

[32:56] yeah they fucking put a cake in josh's face they'll smash a cake into his face

[33:00] and he's like guys

[33:02] uh... and just so you're wondering the choreographer and the coach never got together

[33:07] or they might have they just didn't show that part because we weren't interested in

[33:11] anything other than dance battle of the year two guys

[33:14] when they're going to have a baby

[33:16] battle of the year two colon

[33:18] boning down

[33:19] is what it's going to be called

[33:21] i hope josh holloway and that choreographer first off i'm glad you fit both colon and

[33:25] boning into the same sentence

[33:28] they're going to be getting it on

[33:30] so yeah battle of the year guys i was a little impressed uh... they never really

[33:34] touched on how all these seemingly grown dancers

[33:38] uh... can just go away and live in a jail for a while like they have to take a

[33:43] sabbatical from work

[33:44] uh...

[33:46] are they

[33:48] sponsored

[33:50] oh but oh heavy advertising there is some heavy advertising from bron

[33:56] it comes up initially when you see holloway shaving

[34:01] even though he always has a five o'clock shadow a little bit of scruff right and yet as he's

[34:06] shaving he still has it i mean because girls like that girls like that

[34:11] they feel like the feel of a rasp against their skin he always looks like a long short

[34:16] yeah yeah

[34:17] uh...

[34:18] and then the whole

[34:19] it takes a lot of work to look like that you know

[34:22] i guess so

[34:23] no

[34:26] what what what

[34:28] uh... no i was going to pretend like i grew a beard and i was going to say it takes a lot of work

[34:35] not to look like that

[34:39] you guys haven't seen me but just so you know i don't have a beard

[34:45] so concerned now

[34:46] thanks to bron

[34:49] thanks to bron uh... this podcast brought to you by bron

[34:52] so yeah so i guess they don't have to work or anything like that

[34:57] they kind of speed through all the plot points

[35:00] the plot points oh no i made a dan mccoy sound mistake

[35:04] uh... they speed through all the plot points like you said the fight in the bar

[35:08] i think i'm shocked that there's no rival team like they don't

[35:12] well you guys made the point of like

[35:15] there's not really like a whole lot of stakes in this movie

[35:18] hallie what did you say about it

[35:20] they all have like a nice hobby

[35:24] yeah their hobby is b-boying

[35:26] and they're all moderately successful i mean they're very successful

[35:30] it's like you have a good job and then you take some cooking classes

[35:39] uh... nothing really bad happens to anybody except for rooster's injury which i'm

[35:42] assuming is paid for by

[35:45] bron yeah paid for by bron's

[35:47] very good health insurance plan i do want to get this in there like the

[35:51] backstory to this movie that i was mentioning before was just like

[35:55] uh... according to wikipedia at least like this is based on

[35:58] a documentary

[36:00] by the same director which i believe is called planet b-boy

[36:03] which is i think referenced in the movie yeah they show a lot of that documentary

[36:08] oh man you want to learn about b-boy you gotta watch this planet b-boy

[36:12] i think that was actually the point because you're wondering the whole time what the point of

[36:15] josh peck's character is and i think that

[36:19] uh...

[36:20] josh peck is supposed to represent the actual maker of the film

[36:25] okay

[36:27] uh... i think it's a little masochistic for the director to represent himself by a guy

[36:32] with that droopy of a face

[36:34] droopy dog like live action droopy dog

[36:37] i wanna be a b-boy

[36:40] uh...

[36:41] come on you can do a way better droopy dog impression than me

[36:44] well i can't i can't

[36:47] so

[36:49] yeah so the the the idea that

[36:51] josh halloway is falling asleep nightly watching the planet b-boy documentary i

[36:56] think is

[36:58] is a pretty good advertisement for both bron and the the movie that the other

[37:03] the thrills

[37:05] that are available

[37:06] within uh... i think that we've talked about this movie a fair amount

[37:10] yeah it's pretty light yeah there's not a lot of it

[37:15] well that brings us to our uh... next segment which is final judgments

[37:20] was a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie you kind of liked haley what do you have to say about it

[37:25] uh... have you ever watched

[37:27] uh... america's next

[37:31] dance crew b-boy

[37:33] on the edge of your seat a marathon and been like

[37:37] uh... i

[37:39] i wish this

[37:40] didn't have mario lopez in it because i hear he's like really mean to his

[37:44] uh... wife

[37:46] uh... well you're not going to get that because like chris brown basically

[37:50] takes his place

[37:52] but it's just like uh...

[37:54] he's old and he's just standing in

[37:55] yeah uh... so it's a lot of fun dancing

[37:58] i was really invested in the competition

[38:00] they do all these flips and sometimes you're like are they going to injure themselves

[38:04] and sometimes they do

[38:06] and you know what

[38:08] i would say

[38:09] this kept my attention

[38:11] i

[38:12] for a bad movie that's your rating

[38:15] so where does that fall within the spectrum that we usually use dan

[38:19] look this is

[38:20] this is on the same level as flashing lights and jangling keys

[38:26] i would say uh... to me this is somewhere between

[38:31] uh... a bad uh... sorry a good bad movie and a movie i kind of liked

[38:36] but like i didn't

[38:37] like the thing is like i didn't really like

[38:40] anything about it particularly much

[38:42] but there's nothing i disliked about it

[38:44] what about the dancing? you didn't like that?

[38:45] well that's the thing like

[38:47] i find that we watch these movies with dancing and it's hard to dislike them

[38:50] there's like something about just the fact that the dancing exists that like

[38:53] entertains you and you're

[38:56] as stupid as the story is you get into that part of it

[39:00] my one problem with the dancing is i do feel like

[39:03] you could do better?

[39:05] yeah

[39:08] i'm gonna throw down come on rooster

[39:10] we're gonna do this

[39:11] no it's like it's cut all to hell like the editing is really like

[39:15] her

[39:17] i get it now

[39:19] thank you stewart finally for clarifying what hallie was trying to say

[39:22] the dancing is all cut together it's like the opposite of

[39:28] they had solid

[39:29] it didn't seem totally manufactured

[39:31] like the actors were bad enough that you had to believe it

[39:34] no i didn't think it was manufactured it was more like i just wish that they'd lock the camera down a little bit

[39:39] and shown you like a full move

[39:41] like with like a camera that wasn't moving or like cutting away

[39:45] i totally believe that the actors were doing these amazing tricks i just

[39:49] wanted to see it a little more fully

[39:52] i think a good

[39:53] dance movie usually just like

[39:56] gets out of the way and lets the dancers do the work

[40:00] That's what I was missing, but you know, I didn't mind this movie.

[40:03] It was kind of fun in a stupid way.

[40:04] I would say after the, I guess the last movie we watched for the show getaway,

[40:09] which was a perfect example of taking something awesome car chases and ruining

[40:13] it by like overcutting, I felt the cutting for the dance moves weren't, wasn't that

[40:18] bad comparatively.

[40:20] And, and I guess that indicates what was fun about the movie.

[40:23] I would say it, I would consider this almost like a good, bad movie.

[40:27] Cause it, it's pretty fun to watch with your friends.

[40:29] It's a pretty straightforward by the numbers plot.

[40:32] Um, and it basically like it, it's very, very trim.

[40:37] They cut out every bit of drama or stakes that a movie would normally need.

[40:42] Some of the acting is pretty crappy, but these guys are amazing.

[40:47] These guys are amazing dancers.

[40:49] And if you played a drinking game where every time they said the

[40:51] word battle, you had to drink.

[40:54] Yeah.

[40:54] Battled or B-boy.

[40:56] Yeah.

[40:57] You would, you would probably get drunk, which is the point of the exercise.

[41:00] So similar to them, you would be a winner with your hobby of drinking, but

[41:05] you would only be in second place.

[41:07] Second place.

[41:07] Somebody else drank way more than you.

[41:09] His name's Dan.

[41:10] Thanks.

[41:11] Uh, before we get on to the letter segment, I just want to take a quick

[41:15] moment to say that the, uh, the winner of the, uh, Flophouse house cat video

[41:21] contest did get back in touch with us.

[41:24] Um, the movie he selected was BAPS.

[41:27] Okay.

[41:28] The Halle Berry, uh, film.

[41:31] Um, I believe Martin Landau was also in that movie.

[41:34] Oh, so it's a Martin Landau film.

[41:36] Yeah.

[41:37] Um, uh, we, we probably won't get to that, um, until sometime in February.

[41:43] Uh, we do want to wait till, uh, Elliot's back.

[41:46] It's part of black history month.

[41:47] Yeah, we all remember.

[41:50] Let's, let's take a minute to remember BAPS.

[41:55] I mean, like black history, it's not, it's not fair to like, to only

[41:59] remember the high points of black history.

[42:01] You also have to remember BAPS.

[42:04] Um, but, uh, sure, sure.

[42:06] Eli Whitney, but also BAPS.

[42:10] But, um, no, we're going to do that.

[42:12] Uh, thank you for, uh, making the video.

[42:14] Thank you for choosing BAPS.

[42:17] Um, we'll get to that.

[42:19] Thanks for getting back to us.

[42:20] Yeah.

[42:20] Um, BAPS, BAPS, her, but, um, so I guess that was all I wanted to say

[42:33] about that was, uh, was, uh, uh, message received, uh, we'll be getting

[42:39] to that as soon as we can, but now.

[42:43] So what are we doing now?

[42:44] We're doing the next part of the letters from listeners, letters from blisters.

[42:49] That's wait, I'm not, what am I supposed to sing a song?

[42:52] Where's that?

[42:53] Letters from listeners.

[42:55] Elliot Cailin, we miss your voice.

[43:01] That's pretty good.

[43:02] I mean, that's basically saying, so, uh, this first letter is

[43:05] from Jeremy, last name withheld.

[43:07] Thanks, Jeremy.

[43:07] It's titled diehard sequel pitches.

[43:12] Hey, flop friends.

[43:13] Let love the podcast.

[43:14] Let me cut to the chase.

[43:15] The diehard series has grown stale and is in need of fresh ideas.

[43:19] Thankfully, I've taken it upon myself to come up with seven idiom

[43:24] appropriate titles that promise to push this tired franchise into fertile new

[43:28] ground, live and let die hard.

[43:32] John McClane finds himself across the pond, teaming up with rival super

[43:35] agent James Bond to stop an eccentric genius from taking over the world.

[43:38] And this long overdue crossover smash live each day as if you will die hard

[43:43] tomorrow after being diagnosed with terminal cancer, John McClane travels

[43:47] the country, checking off items on his bucket list and making things right

[43:50] with all the people he has harmed in his life and his heartwarming tale

[43:53] of redemption and self-discovery.

[43:56] Only the good diehard young.

[44:01] After Billy Joel's bass player sprains his wrist, John McClane is

[44:04] hired as an unlikely sideman.

[44:07] Live hard by the sword, die hard by the sword.

[44:10] After being sent back in time via demonic portal, John McClane and

[44:15] wisecracking the portal of time, John McClane and wisecracking more

[44:20] sidekick, parentheses, Chris Tucker, partner up to take down a brutal feudal

[44:25] lord.

[44:26] I do or die hard.

[44:27] John McClane races against the clock to make it to the altar after his

[44:30] bachelor party gets out of hand in this riotous comedy to die hard for.

[44:36] John McClane is seduced by a famous Hollywood actress who persuades him to

[44:39] murder her religious nut actor husband so she can cash in on his life

[44:44] insurance policy.

[44:45] And lastly, curl up and die hard.

[44:48] Hilarity ensues as John McClane is enlisted to coach the Jamaican Olympic

[44:51] curling team in this vaguely racist Disney comedy.

[44:56] What do you think, Jeremy Lastain withheld?

[44:58] So are you going to fund any of these movies, Stuart?

[45:01] What are they, Indiegogo or Kickstarter and shit?

[45:04] Your vast Wellington fortune?

[45:06] Yeah, the Wellington fortune based on Wellington, New Zealand.

[45:10] You keeping your money, Ben?

[45:11] Yeah, I keep all my what dollars?

[45:14] What are these?

[45:15] Uh, yeah, I think those are some great ideas.

[45:18] Uh, I think Hallie seemed particularly interested in the curling one being that

[45:22] you're way into curling, right?

[45:24] Oh, yeah, but I was confused.

[45:26] I thought they were maybe talking about cool running.

[45:30] Something about Jamaica, right?

[45:32] No, that's the reference.

[45:33] I believe that was being made.

[45:35] You successfully identified.

[45:37] All right.

[45:38] So I wish that I didn't.

[45:40] I thought they would have.

[45:41] You just want to watch Cool Runnings again is what I'm getting off this.

[45:44] Um, are we going to?

[45:47] No, I liked your yearly watching of Cooley Runnings.

[45:51] Die hard young.

[45:54] Uh, I would love to see a movie.

[45:57] You're going to be quizzed on the name of every single pitch.

[45:59] About Billy Joel's bassist spraining his wrist.

[46:03] Because you know that, uh, other former Flophouse guest host, Shubin Parang,

[46:07] would be there opening weekend sobbing.

[46:11] Yeah.

[46:11] Little known fact about Shubin Parang.

[46:13] Big Billy Joel fan.

[46:14] Yeah.

[46:15] Okay.

[46:16] Uh, put that gift idea.

[46:19] Jersey boys.

[46:20] Yeah.

[46:21] Thanks.

[46:22] Um, this next letter is titled Dear the Flophouse.

[46:27] It's from Brian.

[46:27] Last name withheld.

[46:28] Hey Brian.

[46:29] How are you?

[46:30] Everyone's really ashamed of their last name.

[46:32] How are you?

[46:33] I am fine.

[46:35] In a recent episode, you discussed the.

[46:37] Is that your answer?

[46:38] Or was that his answer for you?

[46:41] No, no.

[46:42] I think he was saying, how are you?

[46:44] And then to reassure us, he was just saying in case we ask, which we didn't, we don't

[46:50] care to be honest, Brian JK, but not really JK Rowling.

[46:57] In a recent episode, you discussed the classic illustrations and the scary

[47:00] stories to tell in the dark series.

[47:02] And I thought I could shed some light on the subject.

[47:05] The illustrations were by Stephen Gamal, and they were indeed terrifying for my own

[47:16] part.

[47:16] I could not go to sleep without putting several books on top of the scary stories

[47:21] book to make sure the pictures could not escape.

[47:24] I know this was stupid.

[47:25] I did not care.

[47:26] They're terrifying and upsetting.

[47:28] This is indeed why the illustrations were changed in the new editions.

[47:32] Basically, the publishers noticed that every single comment on the books was about how

[47:35] scary the pictures were, with about half of those comments being explicitly negative.

[47:40] For anniversary editions, they commissioned new illustrations by a series of

[47:45] unfortunate events artist, Brett Helquist, which are designed to complement the

[47:50] stories rather than supplant them in the child's mind with soul scarring nightmare

[47:54] visions.

[47:55] They're pretty good.

[47:57] For fun bonus, check out The Relatives Game, a fun romp about scary togetherness and

[48:00] love illustrated by Gamal in roughly the same style as the illustrated scary stories

[48:04] books. It's bizarre.

[48:05] You keep expecting kindly Uncle Fred to pull a decomposing foot out of the picnic basket

[48:11] or something.

[48:11] Yours, etc.

[48:12] Brian, last name withheld.

[48:14] What were you going to say, Hallie?

[48:15] So I was also read by my babysitter the entirety of Scary Stories to Tell in the

[48:25] Dark.

[48:25] OK, she should have been fired.

[48:28] I had to sleep on my parents' floor for four months.

[48:31] But as a punishment?

[48:33] No, I was so scared I couldn't sleep in my own room.

[48:36] But I think that made it awesome.

[48:38] Like I get so pissed when I have to read.

[48:41] Well, I don't have to do this, but maybe when the lamestream media water stuff down.

[48:46] Yeah. When I used to babysit and I was like, you think this is scary?

[48:51] Well, you're a little bitch.

[48:54] Because this isn't scary.

[48:56] Let me tell you how things were when I was a kid.

[49:00] There was this guy who illustrated a fucking sewer rat chinchilla and it was the worst

[49:08] thing. There was a scarecrow that would kill you.

[49:12] There was a trunk that you could open and there was a skeleton in it because she was a

[49:16] bride and she hid in there.

[49:18] And it was the saddest thing.

[49:19] It was her wedding day.

[49:21] They're playing hide and seek because that's what you do on your wedding day.

[49:24] And there were stories that just had random drawings of like weird skulls floating in

[49:29] some kind of hairy universe and like hanging.

[49:33] Yeah. I mean, like the worst to me of those were always the section that was like the

[49:38] urban legend section, because, you know, I mean, the thing about urban legends is

[49:42] they're true. Well, no, but they're like they're plausible.

[49:45] They're semi plausible compared to the other stuff.

[49:48] And so, like, yeah, that was always like it's possible for somebody in the same house as

[49:52] you to be calling your house's phone.

[49:55] If it is possible. No, but like, yeah, like the wedding one, for instance, was one.

[50:00] stuck with me for years because that's

[50:02] that's so upsetting

[50:04] the idea that there's no real...

[50:06] that was her best day of her life. The best day of her life is when she gets locked in a trunk and dies.

[50:11] and there's no real bad guy, it's not about evil, it's just about like

[50:16] shit can happen people

[50:18] yeah there's no wake up, there's no like tony todd figure to explain that death is coming for ya

[50:24] yeah

[50:26] so uh... i think we all agree that those original illustrations were awesome

[50:31] so i'm going to check out, what was the name of the book he recommended?

[50:35] that was also illustrated by him? the relatives came

[50:38] the relatives came

[50:41] i'll do that mister last name withheld

[50:44] uh... so this last letter

[50:48] it goes a little something like this, it goes

[50:50] dear floppers

[50:52] long-time co-host first-time caller elliot here to express my regret

[50:57] that i'll be taking a short absence from the flophouse

[51:00] but first a special letter song just for this letter

[51:03] elliot's letter to the flophouse

[51:06] it's elliot's letter to the flophouse

[51:09] no need to grouse

[51:11] don't run off to taos

[51:13] because it's elliot's letter to the flophouse

[51:16] elliot caylin, that lovable scamp, like the tramp half, a lady in the tramp

[51:22] not the lady part, he has no lady parts, if he did

[51:26] he wouldn't be absent from the flophouse

[51:29] but no he has a penis and that penis made a baby

[51:33] not on its own of course but then again maybe

[51:36] that's called parthogenesis

[51:39] at least i think that's what that is

[51:42] but the point is i'm writing to the flophouse

[51:45] today

[51:47] as i was saying

[51:49] i'm writing to apologize to our listeners

[51:51] for what will hopefully not be

[51:53] too prolonged an absence

[51:55] the fact is i'm on podcasting fraternity leave

[52:00] drink noises, drink noises

[52:04] jane rattle, jane rattle

[52:06] ghosts

[52:08] on january first i was blessed to become the father of a beautiful baby boy

[52:12] who already has better hair than nicholas cage

[52:15] is a better actor than gerard butler

[52:17] and as the tall man would say

[52:19] plays a good game boy

[52:22] his name is sammy lincoln caylin

[52:25] though i briefly considered naming him dan stewart caylin before realizing that

[52:28] would be weird

[52:30] rest assured this is only a temporary stay-k for my role as a

[52:34] flopper gross

[52:36] recording the flophouse

[52:37] hanging with stewart and dan

[52:39] and entertaining you wonderful fans

[52:41] are the brightest part of each week

[52:43] i will only give them up in the face of something as important as literally

[52:45] making sure the human race continues into the next generation

[52:49] with the proper knowledge of busby berkeley

[52:51] american history

[52:52] and pay cable original soft core programming

[52:56] and honestly

[52:57] part of me is excited to rediscover what it's like to be a listener to the

[53:00] stupid podcast

[53:01] totally unprepared for whatever nonsense the hosts come up with

[53:04] so i'll be back home uh... i'll be back

[53:07] on the podcast rather sometime after january

[53:10] until then

[53:11] be nice to hallie

[53:13] she means well and she's living with a crippling soccer addiction

[53:16] dan

[53:18] his name is gremlin battler

[53:20] dan be good to your knee and remember the doctor said the best medicine was

[53:24] for you to keep talking about it

[53:27] and stewart

[53:28] keep handing out the boners were mean otherwise

[53:32] but adieu for now

[53:33] as i return to grooming the next era of flophouse hosts

[53:36] but somehow someday future listeners yet unborn

[53:39] will enjoy the slightly drunken ramblings of samuel lincoln caylin

[53:43] cage mcduck mccoy

[53:45] and the wellington twins

[53:47] invisible freak

[53:48] and castle maniac

[53:50] signed elliot last name withheld

[53:53] uh... guys if you are

[53:56] do you guys know it was married

[53:59] i don't know how you can write

[54:01] i think he might be raising the baby on his own

[54:04] just kidding he's not he has a beautiful wife danielle don't worry she doesn't listen to the show

[54:08] yeah she does not listen to the show

[54:11] probably less likely to listen to it

[54:14] uh... so

[54:16] uh... now we need to thank you uh... first-time listener elliot uh... last

[54:21] name withheld

[54:22] for writing it

[54:24] uh...

[54:25] but the last time on the show

[54:27] the one i know

[54:29] most of you probably skip over

[54:32] one of the recommendations movies

[54:35] that we actually kind of likes

[54:37] that we would recommend you run out and see

[54:40] before perhaps watching battle of the year

[54:43] okay that seems crazy i wouldn't go that far

[54:46] uh... i'm gonna take the lead on this one

[54:48] this is a recommendation

[54:50] uh... based on a recommendation

[54:52] that i got from the flop house facebook page if you're not a member you should

[54:56] uh... i don't know ask to join our i don't know how you do it ask to join it

[55:00] i don't know if i can look it up on

[55:02] if like we get a million sexbots trying to ask to join our fucking facebook page

[55:06] that's the thing like

[55:07] always telling us we should fucking buy ray-ban sunglasses it's a super good

[55:11] deal every time someone asked to join the flop house page

[55:14] i have to check and make sure that are not like

[55:16] they don't have

[55:17] their photos and a hot asian lady

[55:19] and their name isn't to like random words just slam together

[55:23] had to click on their name be like okay

[55:26] were you born in twenty thirteen

[55:29] yes

[55:30] no i have to block you

[55:32] because you get you're going to try and sell sunglasses or shoes

[55:35] that's weird because every time i am the moderator at that point i'm like wow

[55:39] it's a hot asian lady likes the flop house and her name is weird

[55:45] click yes

[55:46] uh... so this was a recommendation that i got off of the flop house facebook

[55:50] page so thank you

[55:52] uh... i watched ninja colon

[55:55] shadow of a tear

[55:56] which is a direct-to-video action movie adventure

[56:00] uh... and it stars scott adkins

[56:04] scott adsit from thirty rock

[56:08] scott adkins from another one of my recommendations which was universal

[56:13] soldier day of reckoning

[56:15] uh... it's a like it's a very much feels like a

[56:20] like a distillation of everything that was great about eighties like ninja and

[56:24] uh... like white guy kung fu movies

[56:27] uh... it's a very basic story about a uh... dude who works in a

[56:34] dojo or something and his wife who was pregnant

[56:37] gets murdered and he has to go on a trail of revenge into the myanmar jungle

[56:43] uh... it does feature a small role uh... in a small role is the bad guy from only

[56:49] god forgives so for all you guys who loved only god forgives you can watch

[56:53] that

[56:54] uh...

[56:55] yeah so if you like watching a martial arts movie that has some really awesome

[56:59] action

[57:00] uh... and actually some decent performances i guess uh... watch ninja

[57:04] colon shadow of a tear

[57:06] i'm gonna very quickly recommend two movies

[57:09] both of which were some of my favorites actually i saw this year

[57:12] the for uh... and that they're both critically acclaimed so it's not

[57:16] a surprise that i'm recommending them necessarily but

[57:19] uh... number one the wolf of wall street which i saw over christmas break

[57:23] you're standing up for the little guy here martin scorsese

[57:26] uh... i thought i was maybe the most entertaining movie i saw this year is

[57:30] three hours but i was uh... i thought it was super entertaining throughout the

[57:34] entire thing

[57:35] i do not

[57:37] agree with any of the uh... criticisms or controversy about it's about how

[57:41] this glorifies the behavior i think that

[57:44] it takes you inside the mind of this character and like you uh... like i

[57:49] think that to understand like the shitty behavior

[57:52] of uh... crazy uh... profits as wall street guy like you have to kind of be

[57:56] in that

[57:57] insular world

[57:58] and a lot of people are sort of complaining like oh there's no obvious

[58:01] punishment from at the end is like

[58:03] yet like

[58:04] there's ever any obvious punishment

[58:06] for rich

[58:08] uh... wrongdoers

[58:10] in uh... current america i i mean i don't think that that

[58:14] i think i think it's a very strange

[58:16] criticism of the film like we need a very obvious

[58:19] moral comeuppance for this character but it's it's very entertaining

[58:24] obviously uh... martin scorsese is a great director but also i wanted uh... i

[58:28] saw

[58:29] finally

[58:30] on netflix streaming francis ha

[58:33] which is a movie that i was curious about but i was kind of

[58:37] maybe a little leery of because i thought

[58:39] you know i i live in brooklyn you hate noah baumbach

[58:42] well no i i actually don't

[58:44] a lot of people do but i live in brooklyn i kind of like

[58:48] this might be too much of

[58:50] that i don't know if i mean i might be in

[58:53] uh...

[58:55] but uh... like it's an interesting movie because

[58:58] the first thirty minutes are kind of the movie you expect it to be

[59:03] or maybe a little longer

[59:05] and just when you're getting a little tired of that just when you're like

[59:08] okay well this is an episode of girls that is running long

[59:12] turns into something

[59:14] a murder mystery

[59:16] like audition

[59:18] it turns into like a series of dance crew movie

[59:22] of onyx

[59:24] in this case B stands for brooklyn

[59:27] it turns into a series of unexpected vignettes like

[59:30] uh... greta gerwig's character francis goes home

[59:34] and it's kind of one of the most

[59:36] sort of sad and and

[59:39] bittersweet

[59:40] like beautiful like

[59:41] depictions of what it is like to go home and visit

[59:45] your parents

[59:46] when you're an adult

[59:48] there's a vignette where she goes to to paris and it doesn't go quite

[59:53] the way it might be planned there's a vignette where

[59:55] she's a waitress

[59:57] uh... working a uh...

[1:00:00] at her old college that turns into kind of a semi little like self-contained farce.

[1:00:05] Like the movie keeps taking turns that you don't necessarily expect it to

[1:00:09] and that's one of the reasons why I really enjoyed it.

[1:00:12] And it's a movie about someone growing as a person but in a very incremental realistic way

[1:00:19] where like just showing a very tiny amount of like self-improvement counts as a big

[1:00:27] sort of triumph by the end of the movie and it's a lot of fun. It's funny. Hallie?

[1:00:34] I am going to recommend a movie I saw last weekend in theaters.

[1:00:45] Instead of dirty Netflix movies.

[1:00:48] It's called The Great Beauty. It's an Italian film and the only reason why I went to see it

[1:00:55] is because I wanted to do something cultured and I tried to go to the MoMa but apparently

[1:01:03] the line to go to MoMa on Saturdays is really long. You're saying MoMa weird.

[1:01:16] I was like fuck this I guess I'll try to go to a movie.

[1:01:20] Fuck this noise.

[1:01:21] So I went to this movie because it was Italian and it is this really

[1:01:35] heartbreaking movie about it's sort of about like what it feels like to

[1:01:44] and I know a lot about this like what it feels like to have like a lot of potential.

[1:01:48] No but no it's just sort of about not realize you know always thinking that you're going to

[1:02:00] realize your potential but you have all these distractions and then coming to

[1:02:04] an older age and realizing oh I actually have to be in control of this but it's

[1:02:09] but there are a lot more layers that are sort of like specifically Italian and political and

[1:02:14] religious and like it's just a lot of marinara sauce. I mean no it's just like pretty pretty

[1:02:20] that's more southern Italian cinema. It's just pretty amazing like how many things are going

[1:02:25] on at once and also even if you're not interested in those things just how like visually beautiful

[1:02:30] it is. It does go on for like 20 more minutes than I wanted to which made me really angry at

[1:02:36] the time. It's like a 70 minute movie I mean come on. No but if you like old people

[1:02:46] being in class. No if you like old people being really hedonistic and you like giraffes

[1:02:58] um you might like this movie. You've totally sold me.

[1:03:06] It's really good. So we've recommended uh old people and giraffes aka the great beauty

[1:03:15] Francis Ha and Wolf of Wall Street and Ninja 2 Shadow of a Tear. A real cross-section.

[1:03:23] But uh yeah now's the sad time where I have to. Oh we gotta sign off. We gotta take take our leave.

[1:03:30] Oh that's too bad. It's been really great. This is our this is actually kind of a big deal because

[1:03:34] this is the last show in uh in our in our old studio. Yeah our old studio being my apartment.

[1:03:41] I'm moving to a different apartment. So legions of paparazzos you'll have to go stalk us somewhere

[1:03:49] stalk us somewhere else. Yeah Elliot's baby is uh means that he's not here for either the last

[1:03:56] episode in my old apartment or the first episode coming up in our new apartment. Hallie will be

[1:04:02] here for these historic episodes setting a new tone for 2014. A more uh more uh positive tone.

[1:04:09] Yeah fuck that guy. Whoa. Yeah okay just boss fuck that guy boss I believe. I'm sorry. Sorry sir.

[1:04:17] Elliot yeah uh I can come dress as Elliot for the next show if you want. I do want that.

[1:04:24] So like kind of like a western shirt. Yeah. Or a shirt with a dinosaur on it. Yeah. Yeah.

[1:04:32] We miss you Elliot. We really do. Shadow looms large. So uh I guess this is where we sign off.

[1:04:38] For the Fluff House I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Hallie Haglund.

[1:04:44] Good night everyone.

[1:04:53] Hanging out with a baby or something. I think he's babysitting.

[1:04:58] He wrote an email. He needed a second job.

[1:05:03] He got a big promotion to babysitter of his own baby. He's head babysitter.

[1:05:08] Mm-hmm. Meaning he sits on the head of a baby and I don't know how to finish this. Gross.

The Flop House: Episode #143 - Battle of the Year

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