The Flop House: Episode #145 - R.I.P.D.

[0:00] It's the return of the Kaelin as we discuss R.I.P.D.

[0:31] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:34] Hey guys, how are you doing?

[0:36] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:38] And I'm Hallie Haglund.

[0:40] Wait, no, I'm not!

[0:42] I'm Elliot Kaelin.

[0:44] That was probably your worst impression I've ever heard.

[0:47] I'll try that. Hold on.

[0:49] Hello, it's me, Hallie Haglund.

[0:51] Perfect.

[0:53] Okay, hold on.

[0:55] Hi, I'm Hallie. I'm a girl.

[0:59] That's pretty close.

[1:01] Kitty cats and puppy dogs, tea parties, princess unicorn.

[1:05] That's what girls sound like.

[1:07] Good stuff.

[1:08] Anyway, yeah, I'm back.

[1:09] Bitches?

[1:10] Should I have that much attitude?

[1:12] No.

[1:13] So, Elliot, we've made a few changes in your absence.

[1:16] Yeah, I've been gone for a month.

[1:18] Now this is called...

[1:19] You've been on assignment?

[1:21] Well, I've been on assignment as a father.

[1:24] You've been on a mission to Moscow.

[1:26] By Moscow, you mean parenthood.

[1:28] And by mission, you mean life change.

[1:30] But you look great, man. Your hair is super long.

[1:33] You look like a wild man.

[1:35] Yeah, I'm like Thor, just flowing locks.

[1:37] That's what happens.

[1:39] You're like Thor, a helmet with tiny wings.

[1:42] Thor of Mercury, if you look for a helmet.

[1:45] I've got a magic hammer and also a baby.

[1:49] Okay.

[1:50] Just like Thor.

[1:51] Just don't confuse them, because that would be...

[1:53] Oh, I already swung my baby around and tried to fly with it.

[1:57] Didn't work.

[1:58] But no, there's been a slight format change.

[2:00] We're now known as the Fruit House.

[2:02] We're going to talk about our favorite fruits.

[2:03] Gotta go!

[2:04] Oranges, apples...

[2:05] Not interested!

[2:06] No, come back!

[2:07] I'll just go, then.

[2:09] It was a bit...

[2:11] Well, Stuart...

[2:13] He's really using all the space.

[2:14] That's what I liked about that bit.

[2:16] There was some foley work there where I opened and slammed a door.

[2:19] I don't know if you heard it.

[2:20] Uh-oh, I'll just warm myself by the fire.

[2:22] Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle.

[2:24] There's a ghost over there!

[2:25] Boogans, boogans!

[2:26] Chain rattle, chain rattle!

[2:28] Dang, come on, do a joke, you're drinking!

[2:30] And there's a lion!

[2:31] Lion sound.

[2:32] Roar!

[2:33] MGM!

[2:35] Yep, that's what lions yell.

[2:37] They yell, MGM.

[2:39] Metro Golden Mire, whatever.

[2:41] Nope, no, no, and no.

[2:43] That's why I threw whatever in there, to cover my ass.

[2:46] Yeah, you're right, I forgot.

[2:48] Because I don't care, man, I'm a teen.

[2:49] I forgot you covered that with the whatever clause.

[2:51] Mr. Gordon Mercury.

[2:55] That stands for mister, oh, okay.

[2:57] It's gender specific.

[3:03] My Grandma's Meatloaf, an MGM production.

[3:06] Hey, what's going on?

[3:08] Hey guys, real talk.

[3:10] Okay.

[3:11] Before we get into the movie of the week, or the two weeks.

[3:16] Which is what we do here at the Flop House.

[3:18] Here at the Flop House.

[3:19] We do a movie every two weeks.

[3:20] We watch a movie, and then we talk about it.

[3:22] Is the movie bad?

[3:23] Usually.

[3:24] Yeah, an allegedly bad movie, and we talk about it.

[3:26] Before we get into it, we should take a trip to Moneytopia.

[3:33] Really, that's the extent of the welcome that I got, before we go to the sponsor spot?

[3:37] Yeah.

[3:38] Well, we missed you, Elliot.

[3:40] I missed you guys, too.

[3:41] I mean, I see you every day at work, so it really hasn't been like...

[3:44] I see you every day on my phone, when I look at pictures that Dan posts from work.

[3:49] Okay, so it's like you're hanging out with me.

[3:51] Yeah, I talk to my phone.

[3:52] Well, guys, I missed not being here for the last couple episodes.

[3:56] I was sad about it, but now I'm back, so thank you.

[3:58] Thanks to the fans for sticking with us through that dark period, when I wasn't on the show.

[4:03] Anyway, so we're going to Moneytopia, you said?

[4:05] Let's do a little sponsor spot for one of our new sponsors.

[4:09] Want me to take care of this spot for you?

[4:11] Yeah.

[4:12] Out, out, damn spot.

[4:13] Out of my mouth, that is.

[4:15] And here we go.

[4:16] Pro Flowers.

[4:17] Pro Flowers.

[4:18] Tell you what, that's the sponsor, and I'll tell you why you need them.

[4:21] Valentine's Day is coming up.

[4:22] Uh-oh.

[4:23] Uh-oh, you already forgot.

[4:24] I already did.

[4:25] And your loved one, be it man, woman, fish, or fowl, would like some flowers.

[4:30] You know why?

[4:31] Because flowers are a great way to say, I love you, let's watch something die together.

[4:37] Here's the offer from Pro Flowers.

[4:40] Here's the offer from Pro Flowers.

[4:41] You get one dozen...

[4:42] Can we switch bodies?

[4:43] Can we both pee and have fun at the same time?

[4:45] Suddenly, I can't talk right.

[4:46] Here's their offer.

[4:47] Get one dozen long stem assorted roses with a vase and gourmet chocolates for only $29.99.

[4:53] That's crazy.

[4:54] That is a good price for flowers, I'll tell you.

[4:56] Double the roses.

[4:57] Double the roses.

[4:58] That's two dozen roses, 24 long...

[5:00] What?

[5:01] How long are the stems?

[5:02] Long.

[5:03] They're long stem roses.

[5:04] Yeah.

[5:05] And the vase and the chocolates.

[5:06] None of that short stem bullshit.

[5:07] Just $9.99 more.

[5:08] That's just like, what, $39.98?

[5:10] Don't make me do math, dude.

[5:12] Well, it's a good...

[5:13] This isn't the math house.

[5:15] It's a good price for roses.

[5:16] A very good price.

[5:17] A dozen for $29.99 or two dozen for just $9.99 more with the chocolates and the vases and all that.

[5:22] And I'll tell you what.

[5:24] Delivery on Valentine's Day is guaranteed by Pro Flowers.

[5:27] Some flowers places will tell you, you know what?

[5:29] That's too high volume a day.

[5:30] Forget it.

[5:31] You're fucked, shithead.

[5:32] And you're like, why would you talk to me like that?

[5:35] Pro Flowers, though, says, delivery's guaranteed.

[5:38] Nice guy that we like.

[5:39] Wonderful.

[5:40] And Pro Flowers is guaranteed.

[5:42] The flowers are guaranteed to last seven days or your money back.

[5:45] That's a long time for cut flowers.

[5:48] Here I want to tell you a little story about I had with Pro Flowers.

[5:51] Once Dan and I were out on the road solving crimes and doing the Daily Show at a convention.

[5:57] Doing dueling impressions and most of the later part.

[6:00] As a result of my work thing, I missed my wife and I's anniversary.

[6:04] And so I ordered some flowers for her from Pro Flowers.

[6:07] Now, unfortunately, it was a mix-up with delivery, not Pro Flowers' fault.

[6:10] It was UPS's fault.

[6:12] UPS, instead of leaving them, which they're supposed to, they left one of those signature slips and the flowers died.

[6:20] They didn't get to put in water.

[6:21] I called UPS and they basically said, go fuck yourself.

[6:25] They would not help.

[6:26] I called Pro Flowers and they replaced them free and gave me money off for the next time I ordered flowers.

[6:33] So they really won my respect with that.

[6:35] They really take care of their customers.

[6:36] That's a real story that happened to me two years ago.

[6:39] Me, Elliot Kalin.

[6:41] So here's the only way to get this Valentine's Day deal.

[6:43] You're still married to this day.

[6:45] Yes.

[6:46] Probably because of the flowers.

[6:47] Exactly because of the flowers.

[6:48] That's the only thing patching us together.

[6:50] One dozen long stem roses with the Vosna chocolates for $29.99 or double that for $9.99.

[6:56] Go to proflowers.com, click on the blue microphone in the top right corner and type in Flophouse.

[7:03] How are you going to remember that?

[7:04] Because it's the name of your favorite podcast.

[7:06] So proflowers.com, click on the microphone and type in Flophouse.

[7:10] Order today and the deal is only around while supplies last because roses are limited.

[7:14] There's not an unlimited number.

[7:15] And Valentine's Day is coming up soon.

[7:18] This week.

[7:19] Yeah.

[7:20] Thank you, sir.

[7:21] Pro Flowers.

[7:22] But mostly.

[7:23] Where all the pros get their flowers.

[7:25] Mostly we're not a flower podcast.

[7:27] Mostly we're a bad movie podcast as explained before.

[7:31] We watch an allegedly bad film and then we talk about it.

[7:34] And tonight we watch a little film called R.I.P.

[7:40] P.P.R.I.P.

[7:45] R.I.P.

[7:46] R.I.P.

[7:47] We did R.I.P. tonight and R.I.P.

[7:50] So this is a movie.

[7:53] So what does R.I.P. stand for?

[7:55] I assume it's like rest in peace.

[7:57] Really interesting people, duh.

[8:00] Or like rare iguana patrol doctor.

[8:05] You're good at this.

[8:06] You want to do some more?

[8:07] Reservoir igloo plus dog.

[8:13] It's like a real estate ad.

[8:14] You get a dog.

[8:15] Or what about a recording industry pros document.

[8:22] I guess it's a contract.

[8:24] Recumbent inception.

[8:28] Pretty.

[8:29] I'm just going to keep going and doing this I guess.

[8:31] Devious.

[8:32] What about, okay, what if it was rectangular individual peeing dangerously.

[8:42] So I guess like out of an airplane window.

[8:44] Yeah, it's from one of the Mr. Mr. books.

[8:47] Of all those, I think I would prefer to watch the movie rectangular individual peeing dangerously.

[8:52] Yeah, but unfortunately we watched Rest in Peace Department.

[8:55] And you said little movie, but this one costs a lot of money, right?

[8:59] This is a big budget movie with big stars and a big lack of ideas at the center of it.

[9:04] You've got your Ryan Reynolds.

[9:05] You've got your Jeff Bridges.

[9:06] You've got your Mary Louise Parker.

[9:08] You've got Kevin Bacon.

[9:10] Kevin Bacon is in it.

[9:11] James Hong.

[9:12] James Hong is in it.

[9:13] The biggest name in Hollywood, James Hong.

[9:15] But he's been in so many more movies.

[9:17] This was much more interesting than watching the movie,

[9:19] which is looking on IMDb and discovering that James Hong has 387 listings as an actor on IMDb.

[9:27] Yeah.

[9:28] The man has almost 400 acting credits on IMDb.

[9:33] He's great, and Hollywood is lazy when it comes to casting ethnic parts.

[9:38] Yeah.

[9:39] I mean, you may know him as the butler from Chinatown.

[9:43] Yeah.

[9:44] You may know him as Lopin.

[9:45] Everybody knows him as Lopin.

[9:47] That's where I was going.

[9:48] He was also one of the hench bad guys in Tangling Cache.

[9:50] I was going to end up there, but he started.

[9:52] He had dessert at the beginning of the movie.

[9:54] I'm an adult.

[9:55] I can have dessert whenever I want, bro.

[9:57] Big trouble, Lopin is the dessert compared to Chinatown.

[10:00] Well, I guess Chinatown's a load of crap. Get that out quick. Let's get to Big Trouble in Little China.

[10:05] I just, well...

[10:06] I thought the real dessert was...

[10:07] Was Tim Cattrall in Chinatown? I don't think so. Instant F.

[10:11] Him playing the butler in Chinatown is not as big a role as him playing Lopin in Chinatown.

[10:17] The romantic lead.

[10:18] In Big Trouble in Little Chinatown.

[10:20] Forget it. Forget it, Jack Burton. It's Big Trouble in Little Chinatown.

[10:24] Yeah.

[10:25] It's how it is.

[10:26] But this movie, instead of that...

[10:29] This movie is not bad.

[10:30] So he's criminally underused.

[10:32] James Conn...

[10:33] A crime that would not be enforced by the Rest and Peace Department because they just...

[10:36] Unless a ghost did it.

[10:38] Specifically a deado does it.

[10:39] A deado, as they're called.

[10:41] Which is not a normal... Okay, you explain.

[10:43] Let's talk about...

[10:44] Sex, maybe.

[10:46] I was going to say RIPD, but all right.

[10:49] There's only one place where ghosts and sex intersect, and that's the blowjob scene in Ghostbusters.

[10:53] So let's talk about it.

[10:54] Anyway, Dan Aykroyd's lying on a bed.

[10:58] His pants come off.

[11:00] Unzip of their own accord.

[11:01] Wait a minute, guys. His eyes get super crossed at some point, right?

[11:04] Did I jump to the end again?

[11:05] You did. You jumped to the end.

[11:06] He's like, I'll allow it.

[11:09] Because he's what, the sex judge?

[11:11] Yeah.

[11:13] Bring in the neighbor. Bring in the defendant.

[11:16] I mean, guys, if you were getting a ghost blowjob, come on.

[11:19] They call them boo jobs.

[11:22] You made that joke during the movie.

[11:25] Yeah, but the audience, the listeners weren't there for that.

[11:29] Anyway, so Ryan Reynolds is Detective Nick Walker, a very unimaginative name,

[11:34] of the Boston Police Department, because every fucking movie takes place in Boston.

[11:38] That's a law.

[11:39] It's cheap to shoot there.

[11:40] It's apparently cheap to shoot there, and everybody loves doing Aston accents.

[11:44] Yeah, we got a bunch of Ben Afflecks and Seth MacFarlanes in this movie.

[11:48] Pop, pack, and the car, etc.

[11:51] And so forth.

[11:52] They're wicked whatever.

[11:53] Anyway.

[11:54] Hot lava.

[11:55] Dunkin' Donuts.

[11:58] Am I right?

[11:59] Is that a thing?

[12:00] Yeah.

[12:01] Paul Revere.

[12:04] In Old Church.

[12:06] Shout-out.

[12:08] Shout-out to Paul Revere and Beans.

[12:11] I'm from Boston.

[12:13] Yep, let me blur my vision, and I feel like I'm there.

[12:16] Bast and legal.

[12:17] All the old Bostons.

[12:19] Everyone knows about that.

[12:21] Anyway, so Ryan Reynolds is Nick Walker, and he is partners with Kevin Bacon,

[12:26] who is slowly transforming into Ethan Hawke as he ages.

[12:30] It's like Ethan Hawke and Kevin Bacon are just converging into one beautiful figure

[12:34] of a grizzled, sharply cheekboned man with skin like a tannery.

[12:41] Yeah, like a snake man.

[12:43] But a beautiful snake.

[12:45] One of those pretty snakes.

[12:46] Yeah, one of those snakes that mesmerize you with its beauty.

[12:49] Yeah, like what's-his-name-from-Jungle Book.

[12:52] So wait a minute.

[12:53] So this was another example of the time when an actor walks on screen,

[12:57] and we're immediately like, he's the bad guy because he's the next most famous guy.

[13:01] The minute you see Kevin Bacon, you're like, oh, okay, so he's the one who's going to do it.

[13:05] And you'll see.

[13:06] So the two of them find some gold in a drug bust, and they split it up between them

[13:10] because they're dirty cops.

[13:11] This happens off-screen.

[13:12] Ryan Reynolds buries it in the backyard of his house because, hey,

[13:16] he's trying to clean up his act so that he and his wife, Julia,

[13:19] who were introduced with her sans pants, are-

[13:24] Probably the high point of the film.

[13:26] Certainly.

[13:27] They have one of those scenes where the cop and his wife talk to each other,

[13:33] and you have to prove in one scene that this is the most loving couple in history,

[13:37] and they come off as the most irritating people in the world.

[13:40] But these scenes are always written like it's two awkward people flirting for the first time.

[13:45] They're married, and they're always in a bed.

[13:47] The cop is always waking up, and his wife always comes over and, like, talks to him.

[13:51] And you have to understand, like, that has to build up the stakes of the movie.

[13:55] Yeah, well, that's the thing.

[13:56] I was going to say, like-

[13:57] This is to prove that he's not a jerk or a monster.

[13:59] He has a wife, so we should like him.

[14:01] Elliot may disagree with me on this point,

[14:03] but this is like the romantic version of the Sandra Bullock in Gravity thing,

[14:07] where it's just like, oh, we're not going to trust-

[14:09] Spoiler alert.

[14:10] We don't trust that it's important for Sandra Bullock to get home

[14:13] unless she has a tragic backstory with her kid.

[14:16] You know, there's not enough stakes just in survival.

[14:19] We have to actually give her some other stuff, too.

[14:21] And this is like, oh, there's not enough-

[14:23] We're not going to be sad enough if one of these people dies in this relationship.

[14:27] We have to show that they have the greatest love of all.

[14:29] I guess, I mean, I would say in Gravity that her tragic backstory

[14:32] is showing why she is reluctant to save herself rather than-

[14:37] But that's besides the point.

[14:39] Yeah, she might want to cross over and be with her child ghost.

[14:42] Yeah, in the RIPT.

[14:44] Because here's what happens.

[14:46] They go- Kevin Bacon and Ryan Reynolds go-

[14:49] They have a drug bust on some kind of meth warehouse factory.

[14:53] It's an explosion factory.

[14:55] It instantly becomes just explosions everywhere.

[14:58] They do it by the book. They split up.

[15:00] All the cops- there's a big army of cops.

[15:02] They rush into this warehouse and all go off in different directions.

[15:05] It's just Yosemite salmon all over the place.

[15:07] It's just flame everywhere. Explosions.

[15:10] That's one of those factories that manufactures explosions.

[15:12] That's what Stuart just said.

[15:14] It's like a heavy metal music video or something.

[15:16] Yeah, they apparently are raiding the C&C Music Factory.

[15:20] There's just gears and flame everywhere.

[15:22] They're not nearly greasy enough for it to be the C&C Music Factory.

[15:25] Fly girls and backup dancers just falling off of railings.

[15:28] Anyway, but in all the hubbub,

[15:32] Kevin Bacon kills Ryan Reynolds because he knows Ryan Reynolds is trying to go clean

[15:36] and he doesn't want him turning him in.

[15:38] Ryan Reynolds, all of time freezes around him

[15:42] and he's walking through this scene of Bedlam frozen in mid-moment

[15:46] and then gets sucked up into the sky into like a cloud whirlwind full of souls.

[15:52] It's a vortex.

[15:54] And his reaction to all this is the slightest furrowing of his brow.

[15:58] Ryan Reynolds could not be bothered to act the emotion of curiosity, awe, fright, wonder.

[16:05] They probably didn't know what he was going to look like until they did the special effects.

[16:08] So they're just like, I don't know, man, look sad or scared.

[16:11] But you get the feeling that this has happened to him multiple times.

[16:14] It's like, all right, here we go again.

[16:16] I'm walking through frozen time.

[16:18] And that was one of the many occasions on which I met my death.

[16:20] Yeah.

[16:22] He was probably kind of wondering why he didn't get sucked up into the sky

[16:26] until he actually left the building, right?

[16:28] That's true.

[16:29] Apparently, here's one of the themes in this movie

[16:31] is that heaven is surprisingly limited in its abilities.

[16:33] It cannot suck you into heaven if you're in a building.

[16:36] You've got to go outside, and it'll take you up through the sky.

[16:39] But if there's a roof in the way, you're on your own.

[16:41] So if he decided not to leave that warehouse, I guess he'd still be haunting it to this very day.

[16:46] Also, heaven has a police force, which we learned, because he gets pulled out,

[16:52] and he's told that dirty cops, rather than going to hell,

[16:55] they're given a chance to work off their time in the RIPD, the Rest and Peace Department,

[17:00] run, I guess, by Mary Louise Parker, who is the sassy police chief wearing a short skirt and go-go boots.

[17:12] And a lot of plastic surgery.

[17:16] She's wearing that.

[17:18] Put it on for this movie.

[17:20] She explains that, I guess, dead souls escape, and they're called deados.

[17:26] And they go into the living world, and they rot because of their own moral evil,

[17:31] and that rot infects the living world.

[17:34] And so the RIPD has to go and arrest them, but also just kill them sometimes,

[17:39] because if you shoot them with magic bullets, they're erased from reality.

[17:44] But otherwise, they get brought back to deado jail,

[17:47] and they just kind of sit in cages yelling at each other, turning into monsters.

[17:51] That rot affects people as if it was a river of slime under New York.

[17:54] Yep.

[17:56] And so he gets inducted into let's call it Men in Black Light.

[18:00] That was the first Ghostbusters reference of the podcast, right?

[18:03] We're saving some more for later.

[18:05] I don't want to derail the entire synopsis.

[18:08] Let me just say he gets matched up with a partner played by Jeff Bridges,

[18:12] who is a U.S. marshal from the late 19th century, the old West time.

[18:16] Doing his best to erase the memory of his great rooster, Cogburn, and True Grey.

[18:22] He is really hamming it up, hamming it down.

[18:26] To be fair, he's trying to do something with the character,

[18:29] as opposed to Ryan Reynolds, who's just walking through like in a daze.

[18:32] But you were going to say something about Ghostbusters.

[18:34] One of the best movies ever made.

[18:36] Not specifically about Ghostbusters, but I think that when this movie came out,

[18:39] I said something similar to this.

[18:42] I just have a problem with the –

[18:45] I have a metaphysical problem with the concept of this movie.

[18:48] The concept of a ghost crime that is criminals who escape?

[18:51] Exactly.

[18:52] The idea that the best way to deal with escaped souls

[18:55] is through some sort of ghost police division.

[18:58] That number one, escaped souls is a thing that happens.

[19:01] I mean that's been in a lot of pulp fiction.

[19:04] I'm fine with that.

[19:05] But then also just like the idea that like, okay,

[19:08] there is some sort of I guess guiding force in the universe, a god if you will,

[19:12] and he decides the best way to do this is to have a bunch of other ghosts

[19:16] go out and corral them in the same way that normal cops would corral criminals.

[19:20] Yeah, where do you think police got the idea?

[19:22] From the ghost police.

[19:23] All right.

[19:24] Yeah.

[19:25] Ghost police.

[19:26] This movie should have been called Ghostbusters.

[19:27] And they have basically carte blanche, right?

[19:29] I mean they can do whatever they want.

[19:30] Not really.

[19:31] It's against the rules to be seen catching a ghost bad guy in public

[19:35] because some reason.

[19:37] It's one of those things where it's never really explained I think

[19:41] why real life people can't know about this

[19:44] because if they did know about it, it would be a lot easier to catch the bad guys

[19:48] because then they could just inform on them to the ghost police.

[19:51] Like the same way like you have a lot of movies where it's like

[19:55] we can't tell anybody there are aliens around but we need to do this thing.

[20:00] Okay, well, why not because if you told people they'd get used to it eventually and then they can help you

[20:05] Yeah, and to that point like as women in black, I don't I don't understand why the aliens have to hide

[20:11] Well, that makes more sense that like men in black

[20:14] It makes more sense like the idea that there's a government agency that like for whatever reason wants to keep the peace

[20:20] Like by like keeping it quiet. I don't know like that makes more sense

[20:24] But but this is like religious religious fervor would set the world afire

[20:28] Yeah

[20:30] Already but as a religious fervor would immediately

[20:34] Totally collapse into one religion because they'd be like, oh, this is how the so what you're saying is you'd prefer one religion

[20:40] Is that it? I would say that I would yet then then constant war religious war. Yes, I would prefer that. Thanks Star Trek

[20:48] But as we've as we fainted out already like this is this movies like a real slam-up between

[20:53] Men in black and Ghostbusters. Yeah, but much much worse than either but like we were talking about

[20:58] during the movie, you know, you were you were you were

[21:01] forwarding a mild defense saying that the

[21:04] Of what the premise? Oh, no. Well, just the basic premise of Ghostbusters premise of Ghostbusters

[21:10] Is dumb, but it was done. Well, so like the movie was good

[21:15] It's not as dumb a premise is less than a lot of very good movies have really stupid

[21:20] Premises when you do if they were done poorly for instance, and this is an example I used King Kong

[21:26] Fantastic movie one of my favorites of all time

[21:28] Has a premise that has been done so poorly so many times and it's like oh

[21:32] Yeah, when a movie is done poorly then a story about a giant gorilla seems really stupid

[21:37] But but I would argue that there is something inherently

[21:41] Smarter about the Ghostbusters premise than this premise, which is that?

[21:45] Don't people are catching ghosts. Well, yeah and Ghostbusters

[21:47] It's presented as like a bunch of idiots who don't necessarily understand all of the forces

[21:54] Doctorate going out to like treat ghosts as if they don't like their exterminators

[21:59] whereas in this movie, it's like

[22:02] People who have died and theoretically should know better like working on behalf of some. I don't know like

[22:09] Organizing force in the universe to catch these ghosts and I think that's a lot dumber

[22:13] Than the idea of like, oh some normal Joes are gonna like go out and catch ghosts. It is dumber

[22:19] I'm just saying I would I think there's a good way to do a movie about ghost police who catch ghost crooks

[22:24] Or maybe I'm a movie like that could be like a crappy TV show. That's fine

[22:28] You know any of them and if it's done, well, you don't you don't spend as much time thinking about the stupid bullshit

[22:34] Yes

[22:35] So this was done poorly and as a result when they go to the evidence locker in in the ghost cop police precinct

[22:41] They're taking matter from from the real world and bringing it to this ghost realm. They is only a police station

[22:48] But their evidence that locker had a lot of like gears and like it's a big piece of machinery

[22:58] And you're wondering like well this is they basically have magic so like why do they need all these machines to do this

[23:04] Why don't they just have like a magic room where they keep this stuff? Yeah, they don't need to worry about force and physics. Yeah

[23:19] Mary Louise Parker is is bringing Ryan Reynolds through their like file room and they're just walking on air

[23:25] From one door to another there's no floor. It's just this and let me tell you guys it looks super realistic

[23:32] Oh, yeah, it doesn't look CGI ish like at all like everything else in this movie that just looks like computers

[23:37] But there's a guy on a really tall ladder opening up a file and it's like well if they don't need a floor

[23:42] Why does he need a ladder? Like I don't understand. Can you just fly around? He's a ghost

[23:46] Anyway, there's a lot of not really maybe maybe he's a human who just works in the ghost

[23:52] Oh, so you so he they just they had an ad in the paper. That's a rough commute, by the way

[23:58] Yeah, gotta get go outside and get sucked up into the sky vortex and then you go to your job. How do you get home?

[24:05] you

[24:07] Wait, I don't know you have Ryan Reynolds. Thank you. I don't know. Yeah, I guess he drives you there

[24:13] Magical toilet that they travel it goes into a VCR repair shop because here's the thing

[24:17] They learn you learn that you can there's this one portal between the ghost precinct and Boston

[24:23] Which is the bathroom of a VCR repair shop?

[24:26] and the two partners

[24:29] Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds don't get along at first. Why would they it's a movie eventually?

[24:34] They win each other's trust and respect blah blah blah. They go to not that much but not much

[24:39] Kind of just no no

[24:42] Two and part three dude eventually. No, I mean they're friends at the end

[24:45] It's just that like they don't really put that much energy into this

[24:48] Couple fair don't really do much to win each other over and eventually it's like they just kind of stopped

[24:53] They just forget that they don't like each other. Yeah, and suddenly they like each other

[24:56] I normally there's a scene where they go out for like ghost noodles that like doodles

[25:01] Like the ghost guys favorite like hole-in-the-wall ghost doodle joints little joint

[25:06] Yeah, and there would actually be some effort defining Ryan Reynolds character beyond the fact that he stole gold one time and has a life

[25:14] Those are really his only is only characteristics. He likes gold

[25:20] And we have to assume is is totally it's totally ripped he never takes his shirt off so we don't know

[25:25] Yeah, he doesn't need to take that shirt off rip it. Yes. Yes. I thought this movie was just ripped

[25:30] And it's about the guys working on their abs

[25:33] But it was about ghosts working out to get super super built, but anyway

[25:38] So they go to earth he goes to his funeral tries to approach his wife

[25:43] but uh-oh the ghosts are seen in fake identities by living people and

[25:50] Ryan Reynolds is instead James Hong an old Chinese man

[25:54] And so he every time tries to approach his wife. He just looks like an old Chinese man

[25:59] Your face which is

[26:03] Sensitive as in spawn

[26:09] They are going for that they're going for this is the heartbreaking moment when his wife doesn't recognize him, but yeah, it's it's

[26:15] Like all you can think is like man. You look this is super creepy

[26:19] You're just a stranger walking up and trying to touch your face

[26:22] Well, and uh and Jeff Bridges walks up and touches somebody's face

[26:26] Anyway, even if it's somebody you love you just walk up and touch their face. That's weird. Well face is very touching in public

[26:32] Yeah, yeah, it's legal now Jeff Bridges avatar is a hot lady some Victoria's Secret model

[26:38] Whose name escapes me, but the movie treats like the very existing escapes it

[26:43] Yeah, not like he's not gonna Google the letter

[26:46] He's gonna Google something

[26:51] The movie treats the RIP D

[26:54] That's what he's gonna go feet

[26:57] Yeah, that's that is gonna say did you mean RIP D a hot lady nude feet?

[27:03] But I was just gonna say that this movie treats the very existence of hot ladies and elderly Asian men. That's hilarious

[27:11] In and of itself lunch line, but there's no need for extra jokes, there's no complications

[27:17] Actually, like there are actual scenes where it could be funny to like cut to the other person doing the thing

[27:24] That Ryan Reynolds or Jeff Bridges. Yeah, but they just don't do it. They don't do it

[27:29] Well, we learned we also learned that I are IPD

[27:32] We we should get go through the rest of the plot real fast

[27:35] You learn they learn that cumin powder makes deados who are in disguise reveal themselves as monsters

[27:41] They chase one down and he vomits up a bunch of gold

[27:45] And it looks like the gold Ryan Reynolds stole turns out. It's magic gold

[27:50] They give it to Mike O'Malley. He's like a Red Sox guy who gives it to Kevin Boston

[27:56] And he's got he's not wearing a hat

[27:59] tea party

[28:01] Right

[28:03] Lava did you already say beans earlier?

[28:08] Okay other Boston stuff

[28:12] Cobblestones cream pie. Did you say cream pie earlier?

[28:16] Wicked fighting

[28:26] Viva la France

[28:28] That's not what it is, okay Empire State Building Empire Strikes Back

[28:34] Sydney Opera House

[28:38] Tokyo Tower

[28:40] Big Statue of Jesus in Rio de Janeiro

[28:45] Perfect. Yep, Leaning Tower of Pisa in Boston pizza

[28:52] Anyway

[28:59] Like such a waste of time, okay, so they go they go

[29:04] For more gold because Kevin Bacon's collecting all this magic stupid gold

[29:08] They they find there's a dead. Oh, they chase after him and he goes I'm tired of hiding and leaves them on a merry chase

[29:15] Destructive on a destructive rampage through the city long story short on TV. They get the gold. They don't get the gold

[29:22] Oh, no, they got that. Oh, they do get the gold, but they get suspended

[29:25] And so the next day they get suspended they're told tomorrow's your disciplinary hearing so I guess now do whatever

[29:31] Oh boy, you might get erased. You might get a race like you're dying, dude

[29:35] But until then just kind of go wherever do whatever. Yeah, that's what they call double dog day

[29:42] They find out that the gold they they picked up is part of something called the staff of Jericho a mystical device

[29:48] That will instead of having good people leave the earth and go to dead place

[29:54] They'll come back down to heaven thus destroying the earth

[29:58] in a real

[30:00] Your style tunnel full of stuff.

[30:03] Vortex.

[30:04] Kevin Bacon reveals that he's been an evil deado all along.

[30:07] They arrest him and they take him to the police station.

[30:09] But hey, this is a movie.

[30:11] So being arrested and taken to the police station was part of his plan the whole time.

[30:15] Yeah.

[30:16] Even though he still went for a gun when they came to pick him up.

[30:20] He pulled a real Joker Benedict Cumberbatch.

[30:24] A Benedict Joker batch.

[30:25] I wonder in real life how many criminals are arrested and

[30:28] trying to psych out the police by being like,

[30:30] how do you know this isn't part of my old plan, buddy?

[30:32] That would be like, you're on crystal meth.

[30:34] Stop talking to me.

[30:36] You saw Dark Knight.

[30:37] Why do you think I'd let you catch me when I was breaking into that ATM?

[30:41] There's a phone in your stomach.

[30:42] There's not a phone in my stomach.

[30:44] Yes.

[30:44] Well, I'm con.

[30:46] No, you're not.

[30:48] But it's just one of many plot twists that we've seen in other movies.

[30:52] But RIPD was like, hey, who cares if they've seen it before?

[30:54] We're going to do it.

[30:55] We're going to make it all computer animated and not really put much attention to it.

[30:59] Anyway, they escape with all the gold.

[31:02] The deados go back to Earth.

[31:03] They're going to build this Jericho Tower thing to bring all the dead people.

[31:07] They kidnap Ryan Reynolds' wife because she's got to be the sacrifice for it

[31:11] because it runs on living blood.

[31:14] There's a big action sequence at the end.

[31:16] Why'd the bad guy take her?

[31:17] You could have taken anybody, right?

[31:18] He says, it didn't need to be her, but I wanted to get a last dig on Ryan Reynolds.

[31:23] No, that's stupid, though.

[31:24] He's just asking for it.

[31:28] He liked the sequel, though.

[31:30] It goes where it comes.

[31:32] He thought Cal Penn was pretty funny.

[31:34] He thought Taj was a character with a lot of possibility.

[31:38] What about Taj?

[31:39] What's his story?

[31:42] When we've seen the rise of Taj, what's he going to do now that he's risen?

[31:45] And was it like the rise of Cobra?

[31:48] Or more like the revenge of the fallen?

[31:51] You really expect to see the fall of Taj and then the redeeming of Taj.

[31:54] The re-rise of Taj, like a Taj Fenix.

[31:58] It's like the Colors trilogy.

[32:00] Yep, that's exactly what it's like.

[32:02] It's like the Decalogue.

[32:05] There's a big fight and the good guys win in the end.

[32:09] This movie is so rote and by the numbers.

[32:12] Just imagine Men in Black, but not done quite as well.

[32:15] Aliens with ghosts.

[32:16] The aliens are ghosts.

[32:17] Instead of Will Smith, it's Ryan Reynolds.

[32:19] Instead of Jeff Bridges, it's Tommy Lee Jones.

[32:23] Otherwise, then the movie.

[32:25] You switched that all around, I think, but that's okay.

[32:27] And they have magic bullets.

[32:28] Did he say that?

[32:29] Yeah, they have magic bullets that kill ghosts.

[32:33] At the end, they're reinstated on the force.

[32:38] The city of Boston is destroyed by these weird ghost vortexes.

[32:43] Except it's back up and running.

[32:44] Vortices.

[32:44] Vortices, thank you.

[32:46] This is one of those movies where the city of Boston...

[32:50] Yeah, like parking garages are collapsing.

[32:53] Cars are raining from the sky.

[32:55] There's people getting hurt.

[32:56] And then like a couple days later, they're just walking around and everything's fine.

[33:00] Yeah.

[33:01] It's like the movie...

[33:02] Hey, Boston survives, dude.

[33:03] It does.

[33:04] Well, the main reason Boston survives is it's the fakest looking city I've ever seen in a movie.

[33:10] Yeah, everything's so fake looking in this movie.

[33:14] And it feels...

[33:15] I was saying to Danister while we were watching,

[33:17] it felt like it was taking place in the city play set

[33:21] that like Ghostbusters toy commercials were shot in,

[33:23] where there were a lot of fake buildings.

[33:25] And there was nobody on the streets, of course,

[33:27] because it was just a place for the Ghostbusters to fly their ecto chopper around,

[33:31] you know, and shoot some big ghost demon.

[33:34] Yeah, it was all a combination...

[33:35] It's called the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

[33:37] ...of obvious...

[33:38] No, it wasn't always the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

[33:41] Obvious back lot sets and CGI.

[33:44] The entire thing.

[33:45] But there's a lot of...

[33:46] I gotta give him points for style.

[33:48] Every shot has a lot of style.

[33:50] There's a lot of zooms.

[33:52] There's a lot of slow-mo.

[33:53] There's a lot of off-kilter angles.

[33:55] There's a lot of color changes.

[33:56] This is the type of action movie that George Lucas would see and be like,

[33:59] this is a gritty and realistic depiction of violence.

[34:04] Yeah.

[34:04] What's weird is he just watched Ms. 45 before it too.

[34:09] One thing I wanted to call out...

[34:11] I apologize.

[34:11] I want to apologize to everybody about my lack of interest in this movie after watching it.

[34:17] It really was like...

[34:18] If this movie had more James Hong in it, I think it might have kept my attention more.

[34:22] But it was so like, all right, here's the scene where they...

[34:27] He gets...

[34:28] He sees the police station for the first time.

[34:30] Then his partner gets introduced shooting a bad guy who gets loose.

[34:34] Then they go here and he has to deal with the fact that he's a ghost.

[34:38] They don't tell him, of course.

[34:39] He has to learn it by doing something stupid.

[34:42] Here's some reaction shots of people seeing a beautiful blonde

[34:44] and an old Chinese actor hanging out together.

[34:47] Yeah.

[34:47] As if they couldn't be friends.

[34:48] Come on.

[34:48] Why not?

[34:49] Who says they can't?

[34:50] Maybe they're married.

[34:51] Why not?

[34:51] Are you sure?

[34:52] Life's about differences, you know?

[34:54] Yeah.

[34:54] Come on.

[34:54] Opposites attract.

[34:55] Just like MC Scatcat said.

[34:57] Are you sure you're not pulling a...

[34:59] You know what, guys?

[35:00] Now that I have a kid, I understand.

[35:02] No, no.

[35:03] It's not one of those...

[35:03] RIPD is not what's important in this life.

[35:06] You know what?

[35:07] When you have children, you'll understand.

[35:09] You guys don't get this because you've never created a life.

[35:12] But there's not a lot of room for RIPD.

[35:14] Dan has probably created many lives.

[35:17] Well, he's created many enemies.

[35:18] Is it the same thing?

[35:20] But it really felt like this movie...

[35:22] It felt like the people making it put so little effort into it.

[35:25] Aside from the people, I guess, who were rendering computer graphics,

[35:28] who put a lot of work in, I'm sure.

[35:30] But everything was so...

[35:32] It's like they bought...

[35:33] It's like they paid someone who worked on Men in Black

[35:36] to buy the outline for the movie and then they just changed stuff in it.

[35:41] To return...

[35:42] Like they got the opposing team's playbook.

[35:47] They paid some slimy guy who held a boom mic on Men in Black to give them the secrets.

[35:54] To return briefly to the logic problems with this film,

[35:58] I just want to highlight one thing,

[36:00] which is when Ryan Reynolds throws Jeff Bridges in front of a bus

[36:05] and Jeff Bridges gets run over,

[36:07] which he's fine because he's a ghost, whatever.

[36:11] Except that the people on the bus have just seen a beautiful woman get run over by a bus.

[36:15] It is my concern.

[36:16] And it just cuts to the next scene

[36:18] after something else happens that you're going to talk about.

[36:20] Are you concerned that a lot of people on that bus

[36:22] are now going to be googling a beautiful woman run over by bus as a new fetish?

[36:26] Feet nude, yeah.

[36:27] But what's weird is that I assume they would try to help her.

[36:30] Nobody questions why this woman is alive while a bus is on top of her.

[36:34] They're supposed to stay out of the public eye,

[36:35] but they do such a bad job of it.

[36:37] But it's like a movie where it's like Dark City.

[36:40] Boston is Dark City and every night the Bostonians go to bed

[36:43] and their memories get wiped.

[36:45] And so they forget all the crazy shit they saw that day.

[36:48] But you were going to say he gets hit by a bus.

[36:50] He gets hit by a bus and his 10-gallon hat flies off in the wind.

[36:55] And he's like, oh, my hat!

[36:56] And you just wonder like...

[36:58] And he tries on hats for the rest of the movie.

[37:00] And when they talk to Michael Malley,

[37:02] they slyly put in a hat-trying-on montage.

[37:05] So they should have just...

[37:06] Snug it in because everyone's like, everybody's bored of this scene.

[37:08] They don't care about following leads.

[37:10] And I got it.

[37:11] And I have to say, watching Jeff Daniels, Jeff Bridges, try on hats

[37:16] is a lot more interesting than anything else.

[37:17] You're really delaying the payoff of this anecdote.

[37:19] So his hat flies off.

[37:21] The point is...

[37:21] Anecdote!

[37:22] It's not something that happened to you.

[37:23] It's a scene in the movie.

[37:24] This anecdote.

[37:25] There's one time I saw a ghost get run over.

[37:27] You're really ruining my personal memory.

[37:29] You're delaying the payoff of the point of this,

[37:31] which is like...

[37:32] Is this a fucking ghost hat?

[37:34] Like, why does he have this hat in the first place?

[37:36] Like, he loses a hat and then he can't get another hat.

[37:38] Here's the thing.

[37:39] When he's a beautiful woman, he's not wearing a hat.

[37:42] Exactly.

[37:42] So the hat is part of his ghost clothes.

[37:44] Of course she's not wearing a hat.

[37:45] She doesn't need it.

[37:45] She's a babe.

[37:46] Did this hat die?

[37:47] She doesn't need accessories.

[37:48] Did someone shoot this hat?

[37:50] Did someone pour poison into this hat?

[37:52] Same thing with his sunglasses.

[37:54] He wore sunglasses at one point.

[37:55] Clearly the hat...

[37:56] Which is not from like when he's from.

[37:57] Like, he's from like the 1800s.

[37:59] So like...

[38:00] He stole them from another ghost.

[38:02] Yeah.

[38:03] Somebody stepped on their sunglasses.

[38:05] Somebody stepped on their sunglasses by accident.

[38:07] The sunglasses died and became a ghost and he found them.

[38:09] Yeah.

[38:10] So here's what happened.

[38:11] That hat was a crooked cop's hat.

[38:14] And that hat had one day till retirement.

[38:16] The hat was head under and was shot.

[38:18] And hat heaven said,

[38:20] you can either join the RIPD or you can go to hat hell.

[38:23] And so he was sitting on Jeff Bridges' head

[38:25] until he got blown off because the wind affects ghosts.

[38:30] The ghosts have corporeal...

[38:32] There's a part...

[38:32] Yeah.

[38:33] Do you think the hat's like,

[38:33] I'm free of my curse?

[38:36] I can join my hat's family.

[38:38] My work on earth is done.

[38:41] I've accomplished my last deed.

[38:43] There's a lady's cowboy hat and a beam of light.

[38:46] Oh, my grandma's hat is beckoning me into the bright light.

[38:50] But here's the thing.

[38:51] Ryan Reynolds is in...

[38:52] He goes...

[38:53] He agrees to join the RIPD.

[38:54] And Merely Try goes,

[38:56] this is going to sting.

[38:57] And...

[38:58] Or this is going to tickle or something.

[39:00] It does neither.

[39:00] And a badge burns into his chest.

[39:02] And it's like, wait a minute, hold on a second.

[39:04] He's a ghost, but he can feel pain.

[39:06] And he has a physical body that can have things burned into it.

[39:09] Why don't they just go down as invisible ghosts

[39:11] and catch the crooks?

[39:12] It'd be a lot easier.

[39:13] Well, also, if they can interact with matter,

[39:15] why not just give them a fucking RIPD badge

[39:18] that does not burn into his skin?

[39:19] That he can just put on his coat.

[39:20] It seems a lot cheaper to just fabricate a fucking badge

[39:23] instead of having to do some kind of special effect.

[39:27] I can whip that up in like 10 minutes.

[39:28] Give me some fucking papier-mâché or whatever.

[39:32] That's a very gambit way to say it.

[39:35] Rogue some papier-mâché, mon cherie.

[39:38] What's he doing?

[39:39] Like making her a fucking present?

[39:41] I wish so much that we could kiss over this papier-mâché.

[39:46] One of their Xavier's Gifted Academy projects was a volcano.

[39:51] Because it's still a school, you know?

[39:53] Just because he's a 30-year-old Cajun man

[39:55] doesn't mean he doesn't have to go to science class.

[39:56] I think you're being charitable.

[39:58] I was being nice.

[40:00] clearly about 37. He's whatever age Jean-Claude Van Damme was when Wizard wanted to cast him in the role.

[40:06] He's whatever age it's not creepy for him to be hanging out with Young Storm.

[40:10] Yeah, that's true. I forgot about that.

[40:12] So, what we're saying is the logic of R.A.P.D. and the metaphysics are not totally well thought through.

[40:19] But we should move on to final statements.

[40:21] So the hat that Mary Louise Parker gives him later on...

[40:23] That's a real hat.

[40:24] That's a real hat.

[40:25] She just bought it. It's in a bag still. Yeah.

[40:27] She didn't get that back. She didn't smother a hat and now that's the hat ghost.

[40:32] Smothered it with the bag.

[40:33] Yeah, I wish that it cut to the real Boston P.D.

[40:36] and there's an outline of a hat on the ground.

[40:39] Another hat murder. Damn it.

[40:42] There's a hat serial killer out there.

[40:45] We're seeing too many good hats get killed.

[40:47] We've got to protect his rights. What about the rights of that hat?

[40:51] Don't you care about its rights?

[40:55] This is great stuff.

[40:56] And they walk into the evidence dungeon and there's just brims nailed to the wall.

[41:00] They open up the fridge and there's like a cap in there.

[41:03] You sick fuck.

[41:06] Yeah, there's a hat band.

[41:09] Anyway.

[41:10] A hat band? Like a bunch of hats that play music together?

[41:13] Yep. And they have a shark playing drums.

[41:16] Why is Jabberjaw in this band?

[41:18] It doesn't have to be Jabberjaw.

[41:20] I was going to say a different shark that plays drums.

[41:24] He's always annoyed that everybody assumes that he's Jabberjaw.

[41:27] Just because I'm a shark that plays drums doesn't mean I'm Jabberjaw.

[41:30] That's racist to say that all sharks that play drums look alike.

[41:35] I'm glad you didn't do the accent, by the way.

[41:38] His name is Jaws Ulrich.

[41:41] Final judgment.

[41:43] Was this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie kind of like Stu Go?

[41:46] Oh man, it was probably a great amazing movie.

[41:50] Wait, was that an option? No, it's a bad bad movie.

[41:53] It was way less fun than I was hoping for.

[41:56] There's way too many special effects.

[41:59] Nothing seems to have any weight.

[42:01] Kevin Bacon seems to have a little bit of fun, and Jeff Bridges kind of does,

[42:05] except he can't understand his accent, really.

[42:08] Jeff Bridges really hams it up.

[42:10] I think he hams it up a little too much.

[42:11] Yeah, and he mush mouths it too much.

[42:13] He's having fun, maybe, doing it.

[42:16] I say this is a bad bad movie.

[42:18] There was a time toward the end of the movie where Elliot was like,

[42:21] are either of you guys' eyes not working anymore?

[42:24] There was a certain point where it was so CGI and so bad

[42:27] that I was just seeing colors moving around on screen.

[42:30] I think my eyes were like, when your computer goes to sleep,

[42:33] that's what it was like.

[42:35] I kind of felt that way through most of the movie.

[42:37] You don't just get a collage of Facebook pictures or anything?

[42:40] All I was seeing was flying toasters.

[42:42] Yeah, the movie of your life.

[42:45] Was I dying? My life was flying in front of my eyes?

[42:48] That's what happens when my computer falls asleep?

[42:51] Your computer dies each time, and it's just remembering its life.

[42:55] It remembers when it woke up at the factory,

[42:58] the first time you booted it up,

[43:00] when you installed any type of video games or whatever,

[43:04] when you looked at porn.

[43:06] Sounds like a really awkward version of Her.

[43:09] But I didn't care for the fakiness or the boringness of this.

[43:14] Amazing.

[43:15] I agree.

[43:16] It felt so bland and boring and not fun

[43:21] and nobody putting any creative effort into it

[43:24] except Jeff Bridges, I guess, and not enough James Hong.

[43:27] What about all the action? You like that.

[43:29] I like action, but when they were chasing that one guy,

[43:33] it was an okay action sequence.

[43:35] Otherwise, not very good action.

[43:37] So I also give this a bad, bad.

[43:40] Okay, so moving on to another word from another sponsor.

[43:47] We are rolling in sponsors.

[43:49] We are very popular when it comes to sponsors.

[43:52] But we're also very selective of our sponsors.

[43:55] Yeah, and we need sponsors because we have drug and alcohol problems.

[43:58] No, no, no. Okay.

[44:00] So I just want to put in a word for our delightful sponsors over at Warby Parker.

[44:07] If you need to wear spectacles like, say...

[44:10] Two-thirds of the Flophouse.

[44:12] Yeah, Elliot or I.

[44:14] Or if you're just a cool dude and you want some sunglasses like Stuart,

[44:18] why don't you look into Warby Parker?

[44:21] Okay.

[44:22] They believe...

[44:23] Sold!

[44:24] That was easy.

[44:25] They believe that glasses should not be so expensive.

[44:28] And I agree.

[44:30] No, I disagree. Glasses should be expensive.

[44:33] Whatever, nerdling.

[44:35] Oh, man, no wonder I have no friends.

[44:38] Their prescription glasses start at $95 with the prescription lenses included.

[44:44] That is a fantastic price.

[44:46] Their titanium collection starts at $145.

[44:49] I assume that's their...

[44:50] So you can buy multiple pairs to match with your, I don't know,

[44:53] T-shirts or sweaters or whatever you guys wear.

[44:55] Whatever you wear, yeah.

[44:58] Belt buckles.

[44:59] Pants, hats, gloves.

[45:01] Scorpion belt buckles.

[45:02] Capes. Half capes.

[45:04] All of these would go deliciously with Warby Parker glasses.

[45:07] Bernooses.

[45:09] All their glasses.

[45:10] Whalebone corsets.

[45:11] All their glasses have anti-reflective and anti-glare coating with no additional cost.

[45:17] And here's the thing.

[45:18] Say goodbye to glare.

[45:19] They make it easy.

[45:21] What you do is you log on to their site,

[45:24] you check out the frames that they have on offer,

[45:28] and you can select up to five frames to be sent to you for home try-on.

[45:33] Five frames?

[45:34] Yeah.

[45:35] Well, it's an embarrassment of riches.

[45:36] Well, to try them on.

[45:37] Yeah.

[45:38] Oh, okay.

[45:39] It's like going to the store and trying on glasses,

[45:42] but you don't even have to go to the store.

[45:44] The store comes to you.

[45:46] Yeah.

[45:47] You can keep the frames for five days before sending them back free of charge

[45:50] with a prepaid returning shipping label.

[45:52] And when you place an order for glasses,

[45:56] they'll get started on them right away and have them in your hands within 10 business days.

[46:02] That's fast, man.

[46:04] Yeah, that sounds awesome.

[46:05] I don't have to shop for glasses, but you guys seem pretty excited.

[46:08] They've got to grind those lenses the same way that Van Leeuwenhoeken had to

[46:11] when he invented the microscope.

[46:13] And here's one thing, too.

[46:15] For every pair of glasses sold, they distribute a pair to someone in need

[46:20] so you can feel charitable just because your eyes don't work good.

[46:24] Or apparently your vocabulary.

[46:29] But it's good stuff.

[46:31] So it's very inexpensive glasses.

[46:33] You can try them on before you buy them on.

[46:35] They donate glasses to charity.

[46:37] When you buy glasses, you can do it all through the mail.

[46:40] I don't see a downside.

[46:42] Yeah.

[46:43] So if you're interested in this delightful deal,

[46:45] just go to warbyparker.com slash housecat.

[46:49] That's our personalized URL.

[46:52] That tells them that the flop house sent you.

[46:54] And it also, you know that the housecat, these are sunglasses that he wears.

[46:57] Yeah, of course.

[46:59] He wouldn't be caught dead in anything else.

[47:02] Is that an RIPD, bud?

[47:04] I don't know.

[47:06] So Warby Parker, for all your eyeglasses or sunglasses needs,

[47:10] tell them the flop house sent you to their website for glasses.

[47:18] But also we want to take a moment to spotlight another one of our friends

[47:21] over at All Things Comedy.

[47:24] Oh, that's our network.

[47:25] Yeah.

[47:26] This week we're spotlighting comedy film nerds.

[47:30] I don't know who in the flop house audience would be interested in a podcast

[47:34] titled Comedy Film Nerds.

[47:36] That seems 100% out of their purview.

[47:39] Let's look at the Venn diagram.

[47:41] Oh, no, it's just a circle.

[47:43] It matches completely.

[47:45] So this is hosted by Chris Mancini and Graham Elwood.

[47:49] And they actually have their own book, too,

[47:53] The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies.

[47:56] But they're also running a Kickstarter for a documentary called Earbuds,

[48:00] a movie about podcasting.

[48:02] Two ears who are friends.

[48:04] Yeah, a Pixar film.

[48:06] They're on different heads.

[48:08] Oh, that's a twist.

[48:10] But they want to be on the same head.

[48:12] No, they're on the same head and they get separated.

[48:15] They have to find each other in the big city.

[48:16] Okay, it's like body parts.

[48:18] If you would like to see a documentary about podcasting,

[48:22] and who wouldn't?

[48:24] Who wouldn't, really?

[48:25] Unless you're a monster.

[48:27] I was going to say a monster.

[48:28] Search Comedy Film Nerds on Kickstarter.

[48:30] Like Pinhead.

[48:31] Pinhead, I don't think it's like,

[48:32] I'd like to see that documentary.

[48:35] He would take that documentary in DVD form and throw it into your face.

[48:39] And then you'd have a DVD stuck in your face forever.

[48:42] That would be kind of erotic.

[48:44] It would rip your clothes off.

[48:46] There's such a thin line between pain and pleasure if you're a Cenobite.

[48:50] So Comedy Film Nerds, listen to it, check it out.

[48:53] Warby Parker, buy some glasses.

[48:55] Pro Flowers, buy some flowers.

[48:58] RIPD, stay away from that.

[49:01] Do not buy.

[49:02] Do not touch, bad.

[49:03] If you see a copy of RIPD, call the police.

[49:06] And I don't mean the ghost police.

[49:07] Call the real police so that they can kill whoever left it there.

[49:11] There's definitely a point in RIPD where.

[49:13] In our IPD?

[49:15] Yeah, our IPD.

[49:17] Our initial public doffering.

[49:24] That's the first time you doff your cap in public.

[49:27] Your initial public doffering.

[49:30] There's a moment where these ghost cops are running around,

[49:32] and they don't really seem to have a real crime to solve.

[49:34] They're just goofing and chasing.

[49:36] They're just following gold.

[49:37] They might have called it gold chasers.

[49:39] Chasing gold.

[49:42] That's a scene where they should have had a scene over ghost noodles or whatever,

[49:46] where they catch up and learn about how they're not that different after all.

[49:50] Yeah, they're both ghosts.

[49:51] That scene doesn't exist.

[49:53] But now, this is the time where we read a few letters from listeners.

[50:00] How does that start, that segment, usually?

[50:02] I don't.

[50:03] There's usually no particular start.

[50:04] I feel like there's something inside me

[50:07] that I have to let out, but it feels so unfamiliar.

[50:09] And I don't know what it is, but I guess I'll just do it.

[50:13] It's the letter segment.

[50:16] It's letter time for you and me, and you as well, Dan,

[50:20] and you, Stewart, and you, the listener, and you, that cat.

[50:24] It's time for the letters for all.

[50:27] Letters for us and letters for tall.

[50:29] Letters for short, letters for wide.

[50:32] Letters for thin, letters side to side.

[50:34] Letters all around, letters up and down.

[50:39] Letters in here, letters in there, letters in your hair.

[50:42] Letters everywhere, letters that can scare.

[50:45] Letters are there.

[50:46] Letters for everyone here and there and there.

[50:50] Letter Bag is brought to you by this show.

[50:54] All right, before we get into letters,

[50:58] I want to make a personal plea.

[51:01] I sang the song, and now the letters

[51:02] are not going to follow post with.

[51:05] I want to make a personal plea.

[51:07] Write more letters that compliment Dan, please.

[51:11] Don't get me wrong.

[51:12] We appreciate every letter that we get.

[51:14] Every letter is a precious note.

[51:15] But if you can, try and keep it a little short.

[51:18] Or failing that, write the letter

[51:20] in easily broken apart pieces.

[51:22] So if maybe we want to pull out just one bit of the letter

[51:25] to read on air.

[51:25] Yeah, perforated.

[51:27] And keep those jokes short, because we're

[51:29] going to interrupt it like a million times.

[51:32] Dan is going to get super mad.

[51:33] Dan knows.

[51:34] Dan knows.

[51:35] We interrupt him all the time.

[51:36] If there's a delayed punchline or callback,

[51:38] it may not be going to land.

[51:40] It will not land, because we'll have interrupted it.

[51:42] But write really complicated words and sentences.

[51:45] Because Dan reads them wrong, and then we

[51:47] can make fun of him about it.

[51:48] So this first letter is from Mick, last name withheld.

[51:51] He says, yo, floppers.

[51:52] Big fan of the podcast.

[51:53] Thanks, Mick.

[51:54] I have not listened.

[51:55] Yo.

[51:57] Right back at you, which is Spanish for I.

[51:59] I haven't listened in order from the beginning,

[52:01] so I don't know your origin story.

[52:03] What circumstances?

[52:04] Well, Dan was bitten by a radioactive nothing.

[52:07] Stuart is from the planet Cool Balls.

[52:09] And I'm just your regular vampire private eye.

[52:14] What circumstances could have forced a movie podcasting

[52:16] alliance between Elliot and two people who seemingly never

[52:20] slash rarely watch real movies?

[52:22] PS, what's Dan's first language?

[52:24] How do Elliot and Stuart always know what he means?

[52:27] Is it like a Han Solo, Chewbacca situation,

[52:29] where the audience is just supposed

[52:30] to suspend their disbelief?

[52:31] And also, he only wears a bandolier, nothing else.

[52:33] Maybe you could do a prequel explaining this.

[52:35] Filled with Bocaster bolts, I guess?

[52:37] They look like fucking, like, boxes.

[52:39] They're cartridges from Bocaster, yeah.

[52:41] They're boxes of chiclets.

[52:43] Because Chewbacca has a sweet tooth.

[52:46] We've actually talked about our origin story,

[52:48] how we all got to know each other before.

[52:51] I actually honestly wanted to read this letter mainly

[52:54] to be like, what the fuck are you talking about,

[52:56] seemingly never will rarely watch real movies?

[52:58] Yeah, that's true.

[52:59] I mean, Stuart, yeah, doesn't.

[53:00] But Dan, he occasionally does.

[53:02] I have, just because I don't talk about classic Hollywood

[53:06] as much as Elliot doesn't mean that I don't have

[53:08] a grounding in, you know.

[53:10] You know, they show all kinds of shit on planes now, dude.

[53:12] Oh, God.

[53:13] Dan's preferred movie theater, the airplane.

[53:18] I'll have you know that I am a film school dropout, friends.

[53:22] Yeah, I mean, I know there's internet evidence

[53:24] to prove you're watching

[53:25] Sudden Death of Jean-Claude Van Damme a couple nights ago.

[53:28] And if that's not cinema, then I don't know what is.

[53:31] No, but Elliot knows quite well that I'm very conversant

[53:34] in classic Hollywood.

[53:35] Yeah, well-versed, well-versed.

[53:37] He watches real movies, real in quotes, all the time.

[53:40] And I watch real sex whenever I get the chance.

[53:45] Purpozoid on the march.

[53:47] And Stuart watches real movies too.

[53:49] Usually it's because his wife wants to watch

[53:51] like a rom-com, right?

[53:53] Yeah, that's a real movie, right?

[53:54] I mean, it's slightly more real than like

[53:56] Head of the Family.

[53:57] What are you talking about?

[54:00] First off, there's real actors in there.

[54:02] You can't tell me that head isn't real.

[54:04] You know how many, you know how few roles

[54:09] there are for heads?

[54:12] They're not making that Nexus movie.

[54:15] For fans of Nexus out there.

[54:16] Yeah, they're not, the MODOK movies are coming out.

[54:19] That MODOK series.

[54:21] Moving on, this is from Brad, last name with hell.

[54:25] Hey Brad.

[54:26] Bradley Cooper.

[54:26] Hi guys, love the show.

[54:28] I've listened to a ton of your episodes

[54:29] and you continuously crack me up.

[54:31] Before I forget, Elliot's friend John asked me

[54:33] to deliver a message.

[54:35] Parentheses, picks up Elliot's stapler.

[54:38] This is mine now, nerd.

[54:39] And while walking away, I'm supposed to shout

[54:41] that Dan isn't always better than you,

[54:43] but you're also really funny too,

[54:44] so I'm not gonna do that.

[54:45] I'm taking your stapler though.

[54:46] Oh, thanks, well.

[54:47] So apparently Brad had a hodgepodge of it.

[54:51] Apparently either he was involved with Hodgman

[54:52] or Hodgman told him to do something or he imagined it.

[54:55] But here's the thing, Hodgman wouldn't take a stapler,

[54:57] he'd take something I wanted, like a toy

[55:00] or like a personal object, like a wallet

[55:03] or something like that.

[55:04] Here's something that happened.

[55:06] When you became head writer.

[55:07] Two tickets to see, I don't know,

[55:08] Justin Bieber or something?

[55:10] Yeah, yeah, because I want both seats.

[55:12] One for me and one for my crush.

[55:14] When you became head writer, he walked into my room

[55:17] and picked up my Nerf gun and I thought,

[55:22] okay, well, now it's happening to me.

[55:24] But he just wanted to take it down the hall

[55:26] to shoot at you and then he returned it to me.

[55:30] But he bought me this huge Nerf gun.

[55:33] It's enormous and it fires the pellets,

[55:36] because they're not suction cup things,

[55:37] they're just like little Nerf bullets.

[55:39] So hard, and so of course he shot me with one of them

[55:42] and it stung really bad.

[55:43] It's a little late for you to slap together

[55:45] that Rocket Raccoon audition tape.

[55:46] No, it's never too late, never too late.

[55:51] Called up your pal Harry Knowles

[55:52] to shoot the video for you?

[55:53] I'll do it in the sequel.

[55:54] Yeah.

[55:56] So.

[55:56] Maybe I'll be in the Rocky Raccoon movie.

[55:59] This letter is from Will and Craig, last name withheld.

[56:02] Ah, two people at one time?

[56:04] It's titled.

[56:04] Now, do they have the same last name

[56:05] or different last names?

[56:07] It's titled, Road Trippin' with a Flophouse.

[56:10] Dear Dan, Stuart, and Housecat,

[56:12] my friend, Craig, last name withheld,

[56:15] and I wanted to let you know

[56:16] that we drove from Seattle to Austin this week

[56:18] to listen to about one million episodes

[56:21] of your podcast en route.

[56:23] This is my third or fourth time through the back catalog,

[56:25] but Craig's first exposure to the Flophouse.

[56:27] He immediately took a liking to Dan

[56:29] and decided he hated Elliot.

[56:31] Wow.

[56:32] Going so far.

[56:33] So he shares the same taste as the internet.

[56:35] Going so far as to constantly mock the way Elliot says,

[56:37] and I'm Elliot Cannon at the beginning of each episode.

[56:40] Fuck you, Elliot, typically followed.

[56:43] Wait, just because I introduced myself?

[56:45] There's a turnaround coming.

[56:47] However, a few days and several hundred miles later,

[56:50] Craig had decided that actually he'd like he and Elliot

[56:53] to be the best of friends.

[56:55] You see, they share the same affinity

[56:56] for constantly trolling everyone,

[56:58] especially Dan, who has trouble speaking English.

[57:01] I don't know if I call it trolling.

[57:03] It's affectionate ribbing.

[57:04] Craig has his own problems with our language

[57:05] as evidenced numerous times on the Road Trip

[57:08] when he took required attempts.

[57:10] What's a Road Trip?

[57:12] It's a good thing to know

[57:13] when you're going out on the road.

[57:15] When he took required attempts to get a simple sentence out.

[57:17] I think you also have trouble with language, sir.

[57:21] But squealed and glee each and every time Elliot

[57:24] caught Dan in a similar misspeaking incident.

[57:26] The moral of the story,

[57:28] if Elliot has any interest in visiting Austin,

[57:30] Craig would certainly buy him some Popeyes.

[57:32] Thanks for passing the time so well

[57:34] as we drove through Wyoming, South New Mexico,

[57:37] and other assholes of America.

[57:40] P.S. also for you, David Kaelin.

[57:42] Nope, David Kaelin will continue to stay imprisoned

[57:44] in the bottle city of Kandor, where they have no sports.

[57:48] It's the worst punishment of all.

[57:51] It wouldn't be so bad being tiny

[57:53] if they had a tiny football team.

[57:56] I think if him going from hating me to loving me

[57:59] over the course of a car ride

[58:00] is more a Stockholm Syndrome type thing.

[58:03] He started connecting with me as a captor.

[58:06] Yeah.

[58:07] I have one last-

[58:08] But thank you for writing it.

[58:09] I have one last surprise for you guys.

[58:11] Okay, for-

[58:12] You're a woman.

[58:13] For our listeners at home.

[58:14] This is just like the end of just one of the guys.

[58:15] Dan just ripped open his shirt to reveal boobs.

[58:18] These gifts came in.

[58:19] What?

[58:20] Around the holidays.

[58:21] I've been saving them

[58:22] since Elliot's been on paternity leave.

[58:24] Yeah, it says, happy holidays.

[58:25] It's all wrapped up.

[58:26] My name's on it.

[58:27] So this comes-

[58:28] There's a snowman.

[58:29] I like that it's not Christian or anything.

[58:32] This comes with note cards that say, read after unwrapping.

[58:36] From Sam, I'm gonna mispronounce this, Doncalio?

[58:41] Doncalio.

[58:43] But thank you, Sam-

[58:45] Doncalo.

[58:45] For these gifts.

[58:47] Oh, so you did-

[58:48] I already unwrapped mine.

[58:49] I could not wait.

[58:50] Because you have no patience.

[58:51] No.

[58:53] Mine is 15 films of horror.

[58:56] I also, he also gave me the remake of Sleuth,

[58:59] which I left at work because I don't care

[59:01] about the remake of Sleuth.

[59:02] Oh, and then he gave me Six String Samurai movie

[59:04] I was just thinking about the other day.

[59:06] And he gave me Amon, Apocalypse of Devilman.

[59:10] All right, so now I'm gonna read the notes.

[59:12] Thank you very much, sir.

[59:15] Floppy belated holidays, he writes.

[59:16] Big fan, wanted to share a few DVDs

[59:18] from my personal collection.

[59:20] Please enjoy or possibly enjoy not enjoying them,

[59:23] as the case may be.

[59:24] For Dan, a Michael Caine movie I never bothered to unwrap,

[59:27] plus a not terrible collection of old horror flicks.

[59:30] For Elliot, a terribly pretentious slash just terrible movie

[59:34] about a guy who wanders the desert

[59:35] playing a guitar or some shit.

[59:36] I don't know if it's terrible so much as just not great.

[59:40] There's also a kid following him or he rescues him

[59:44] or blah, blah, blah.

[59:45] It's artiness is so heavy handed

[59:47] that I know it was the one for Elliot.

[59:49] For Stuart, a hyper gory anime

[59:51] that probably has legitimately damaged my psyche.

[59:55] It's from the Devilman series, which is in another movie.

[1:00:00] includes women demons getting their boobs torn off and cattle

[1:00:03] issue read that right no ding dong ripping those sorry okay that's all

[1:00:07] people and i guess i guess it was good for the game there has to be put on the

[1:00:11] end of the band

[1:00:12] yes so basically you wanted to clear out your dvd collection you've mailed it to

[1:00:16] us that's true that the thought is nice p s dan i know elliott and stuart

[1:00:20] seymour wrapped really well yeah that's true yes and i know elliott's and

[1:00:24] stuart seymour thoughtful they are that's why you got to

[1:00:28] uh... i mean

[1:00:29] yes i did leave as i said uh... sleuth at work because i don't care about it but

[1:00:34] these are just

[1:00:36] this collection of fifteen classic horror movies there's some good movies on there

[1:00:40] not bad last man on earth is on there i'm sure the fact that there's like

[1:00:43] there's fifteen on them on three discs means that the quality is very high

[1:00:47] very high sure but there's some stuff in there that uh... yeah carnival of souls

[1:00:51] that's a good movie yeah

[1:00:53] night of the living dead that's a fantastic movie

[1:00:55] so yeah send us gifts i guess

[1:00:59] feel free to send us gifts now thank you very much sam we may or may not open them on air

[1:01:04] uh... but now i'm so glad there was not anthrax in there

[1:01:08] uh... we should take a moment to recommend to remember our fallen friends

[1:01:14] and the r.i.p.d. let's remember all the movies that have fallen in the last year

[1:01:19] can we roll that montage?

[1:01:20] we can't? all right well i guess we shouldn't have spent all that time

[1:01:24] preparing it it was really good

[1:01:26] uh... no this is the part of the uh... podcast where we recommend movies that we

[1:01:30] actually liked in contrast to r.i.p.d.

[1:01:33] uh... elliot you've been gone

[1:01:36] why don't you start us off

[1:01:37] well my movie watching of late has been uh...

[1:01:40] slightly less frequent yeah curtailed

[1:01:43] due to my new responsibilities as a human

[1:01:46] taker of care so you've mainly just been watching a lot of what Takeshi Miyake movies

[1:01:50] yeah well i wanted to get into that i wanted to embrace the classics early

[1:01:56] just stuff that's age appropriate you know cannibal holocaust that type of thing

[1:01:59] uh... ishi the killer and so forth but one movie i saw that i had not seen before

[1:02:04] that i liked a lot

[1:02:05] was martin scorsese's first film

[1:02:08] who's that knocking at my door

[1:02:09] which uh...

[1:02:10] i haven't one of the big

[1:02:13] one of the big problems again with the

[1:02:15] having a baby is i haven't gotten to see wolf of wall street so i decided all right

[1:02:18] instead of seeing his most recent movie i'll see his first movie

[1:02:21] uh... and it's interesting how

[1:02:23] for a movie that is a first film

[1:02:25] much of it

[1:02:26] taken from his student film that he made at nyu i think

[1:02:29] it's really feels like a martin scorsese movie all the way through like

[1:02:33] you're seeing a director

[1:02:35] who is going to develop into a better film craftsman

[1:02:38] but all the things he wants to do for the most part are there

[1:02:41] and uh... i enjoyed it a lot

[1:02:43] i thought it was good

[1:02:44] uh... i'm going to take a page from elliot's playbook and recommend two movies

[1:02:49] uh... i watched number one on netflix streaming well actually i watched both of these on netflix

[1:02:54] streaming although only one of them is still on netflix streaming the first one here

[1:02:58] uh... which documentary called ray harryhausen special effects titan

[1:03:02] uh...

[1:03:03] it's your typical uh... it's your typical ray harryhausen documentary

[1:03:07] no it's your typical talking head documentary

[1:03:10] uh... and that david burns in it

[1:03:12] a lot of directors who were influenced by ray harryhausen but also

[1:03:16] a lot of footage of ray harryhausen the man himself before he passed away

[1:03:19] and a generous helping of uh...

[1:03:22] footage from ray harryhausen films

[1:03:25] uh... it's that never hurts you know

[1:03:27] no it does not hurt it's kind of like a glorified unless it's the footage that he

[1:03:31] didn't work on like the non special effects scenes

[1:03:34] it's a glorified what it could be it could be thought of as a glorified dvd extra

[1:03:38] in in style but it's

[1:03:41] it's the best version of that

[1:03:43] it's uh... it's an entertaining uh... version of that about a subject that's

[1:03:46] interesting it's not like those behind the scenes of sherlock

[1:03:50] shows they've been airing after sherlock don't really that feel

[1:03:53] that really do feel like a dvd extra that pbs is just padding out their

[1:03:57] schedule with

[1:03:58] no this is a good version of that ok because those ones are a bad version of that

[1:04:02] about a worthy subject

[1:04:04] but also

[1:04:05] uh... i can't believe i'm recommending this i watched uh... jean-claude van damme's

[1:04:10] sudden death i thought i already recommended that it's possible two

[1:04:13] recommendations for sudden death it's uh... basically die hard in a hockey

[1:04:17] stadium

[1:04:18] and uh... as i said i called arenas as i said on the rink

[1:04:22] whatever

[1:04:24] as i said on the flop house uh...

[1:04:27] uh... facebook page

[1:04:28] they used every part of the buffalo in this movie the buffalo being that hockey

[1:04:32] stadium

[1:04:33] like every possible

[1:04:35] uh... use of like they have even the powers booth grotto

[1:04:40] they have a fight in the uh... the rink

[1:04:42] kitchen with uh... van damme and a lady in a uh... mascot costume

[1:04:48] that uses everything in a kitchen that could be used to kill somebody

[1:04:52] uh... there's a scene in it where van damme disguises himself as a hockey

[1:04:56] player and gets called out on the ice to be a goalie for a while

[1:05:01] uh...

[1:05:02] it and it has a villain who is so committed to the idea that like

[1:05:05] he's gonna blow up the stadium

[1:05:07] exactly when the game's over that when the game goes into sudden death he's like

[1:05:11] well gotta guess i gotta hold off a little

[1:05:14] uh... so it's a very silly movie but it's it's a fun movie if you're a fan

[1:05:19] of

[1:05:19] action movies of that era

[1:05:22] so stewart what do you have

[1:05:23] uh...

[1:05:24] i'm gonna recommend a movie from this year i don't know if we've talked about

[1:05:27] it already but uh... i recently watched captain phillips uh... with thomas hanks

[1:05:33] uh... and if you know there's a movie that's got a lot of press uh... and i

[1:05:37] think i mean it's been nominated for a variety of awards

[1:05:40] and not to throw out too many spoilers but yeah the hugo, the edgar, the good housekeeping, the popular

[1:05:46] mechanics best of what's new, the caldecott, the newberry, the cable ace award

[1:05:52] uh... the best baby and world's greatest grandpa

[1:05:55] uh...

[1:05:56] wait a minute

[1:05:57] that changes every year? yeah. oh man i'm gonna have to take a baby's mug back

[1:06:04] so world's best baby

[1:06:07] it seems bullshit, it's not like the baby needs to raise its spirits or something

[1:06:11] what's a baby gonna do, wear that to the office to show everybody?

[1:06:15] when the baby goes to work he's gotta drink his coffee out of something

[1:06:20] with that mug

[1:06:21] uh... the westminster kennel club also recognized

[1:06:25] captain phillips

[1:06:27] so uh...

[1:06:29] i feel like tom hanks, one of the things i like about this movie is that uh... you

[1:06:32] know it

[1:06:33] from the trailers, if you've seen the trailers or seen the movie i don't give a shit

[1:06:37] you probably have an understanding of what the movie is about uh... and i feel like it

[1:06:42] kind of goes in that direction but

[1:06:44] it's really it's really the performances that are selling it and i feel like tom

[1:06:48] hanks

[1:06:48] both in this movie and maybe his whole career i feel like he has been

[1:06:52] striving to convince me that he's my dad okay like we have built this emotional

[1:06:57] connection together

[1:06:59] and in the last five minutes of this movie, spoiler alert, in the last five minutes of this movie

[1:07:05] i'm basically watching my dad break down and bawl his eyes out and i was

[1:07:10] destroyed, like in event horizon

[1:07:13] we call that bawling your eyes out to tear them out

[1:07:16] spoiler alert

[1:07:17] i watched this with my wife and both of us like at the very end of the movie

[1:07:21] we're just breaking down, i haven't cried that much since the last time i watched a tom hanks

[1:07:25] movie called toy story three

[1:07:28] it's called larry crown

[1:07:31] you were crying

[1:07:33] why did he lose his job?

[1:07:35] why did hollywood make this movie? who was it for?

[1:07:40] i haven't cried that much since another tom hanks movie made me wonder what happened to the other red shoe

[1:07:45] why does the man only have one red shoe

[1:07:48] what a lonely shoe

[1:07:50] why does he have to be big?

[1:07:54] alright well so

[1:07:56] oh, cloud atlas

[1:07:58] captain phillips is a very tense movie, even knowing

[1:08:01] what happens because it's based on a true story

[1:08:04] i was tense throughout and in suspense

[1:08:07] so, four great

[1:08:08] recommendations

[1:08:10] but now

[1:08:11] i recommend we end this podcast

[1:08:15] that's a segway guys, that's great, that's how you do it

[1:08:18] that's why you're the professional podcaster

[1:08:23] it was a delight to spend some time with holly, but it's nice to have you back home

[1:08:26] it feels good to be back, welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out

[1:08:31] to that same old place you joked about, what?

[1:08:33] dan, it's good to see you behind the steering wheel

[1:08:36] steward, it's good to see you, steady hand at the tiller, it's great to see you with that scarf

[1:08:40] pretty awesome

[1:08:41] yeah, it's both a fashion statement and it keeps my neck warm

[1:08:44] uh... dan, great to see you

[1:08:46] alive

[1:08:47] wait, i don't, okay, for how long

[1:08:50] did you enjoy that beer you just had?

[1:08:53] the beer marked

[1:08:54] poison

[1:08:56] alright, well i gotta get some antidote for this

[1:08:59] so we should sign off, for the flop house i've been dan mccoy

[1:09:03] i've been steward wellington

[1:09:06] and i am once again elliot caylin

[1:09:08] goodnight everyone, back in the saddle

[1:09:16] i've got it on my phone, in case we need to look at it, in case you're like, what do we do next, elliot?

[1:09:21] that sounds exactly like me

[1:09:23] that's me, dan, ho ho ho

[1:09:25] i'm a drunk clown

[1:09:28] that's drunk clown, anyway, continue

[1:09:32] uh... so we're doing like

[1:09:33] characters?

[1:09:36] what did i miss? dan is the drunk clown, this is how i do the show now that i'm back

[1:09:40] steward, you're kind of like a happy-go-lucky ragamuffin penguin

[1:09:43] i don't think that works, i think i should play a super, like, stodgy, super

[1:09:48] by-the-book, no-nonsense

[1:09:51] stodgy penguin

[1:09:53] and i am uh... my new character of uh...

[1:09:57] laser spaceman

[1:09:59] who is

[1:10:00] janitor who works in a middle school. And I'll play Dr. Sexo, the sexologist. You're already the

[1:10:05] drunk plant. He gets two characters? You could have two characters too. You're also like a single

[1:10:09] mom struggling to make ends meet on the moon. That sounds like me. And I'm an underwater cop

[1:10:14] named Fisho Mackenzie. I solve water crimes. Fisho's a family name, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:10:24] Goes back to the old country. Land.

The Flop House: Episode #145 - R.I.P.D.

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