The Flop House: Episode #150 - Grudge Match

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss the Sylvester Stallone-Robert De Niro boxing movie Grudge

[0:05] Match, which is only slightly more interesting than watching two non-famous elderly people

[0:12] fight.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Strega Nana.

[0:41] Hey!

[0:43] Oh man, right off the top, we got jokes.

[0:45] Call back to the last episode of your baffling pasta confusion.

[0:49] Which, which, or in which was it? Like pasta? Was it the Russian one?

[0:54] Probably. Russians are known for their spaghetti-based meals.

[0:58] I think perhaps it was some sort of Japanese fox spirit.

[1:01] Nope, straight up no-no.

[1:03] They sound similar enough.

[1:05] That's true.

[1:06] So who are you, really?

[1:06] I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:07] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:09] And this is Elliot Kalin talking right now.

[1:11] Look who's here.

[1:12] Hey, and the Flophouse house cat.

[1:14] Oh, that's him.

[1:15] So I apologize to everybody.

[1:17] He's passing mine's way to the bathroom with a magazine under his arm.

[1:19] Did he say Hail Hydra?

[1:22] No.

[1:23] I think so.

[1:24] Spoiler?

[1:25] It would be weird, though, because he doesn't like comic book movies.

[1:28] no he hates them so since phantom failed to live up to his expectations

[1:33] just don't tell him the road to perdition is based on a comic book you'd be really so mad

[1:37] or history of violence that house cat walked into the phantom and was like i was expecting

[1:43] him to smash evil but he just kind of lightly brushed evil it'll be weird for him to expect

[1:48] to smash evil since the tagline of the movie was slammy oh boy and i think you'll find evil

[1:54] was thoroughly slammed.

[1:55] Just like you've just been, idiot.

[1:58] Slammed like

[2:00] a Mountain Dew Code Red.

[2:01] Just put those Flophouse house keys

[2:04] on the desk, I guess.

[2:05] Give me your badge and your gun.

[2:08] Did I say gun? I meant gum.

[2:10] Can I have some?

[2:11] So, we have

[2:14] thoroughly alienated

[2:16] any new listeners.

[2:18] All we've alienated is Billy Zane.

[2:19] By starting out, one with a callback

[2:22] and then two with a bunch of nonsense.

[2:24] Let's set up this podcast

[2:27] This podcast is a bad movie podcast

[2:29] Where we watch a bad movie

[2:31] And then we talk about it

[2:33] Do we ever

[2:33] And in this case we watched a movie called

[2:37] Grudge Match

[2:38] See I always thought it was called

[2:41] I always thought because this has been a long time

[2:43] My whole entire life

[2:45] I thought it was called

[2:47] Stallone vs De Niro

[2:49] I thought it was called Rocky vs The Bull

[2:51] Okay

[2:52] yeah this is a movie that uh plays on but like the posters just said stallone versus

[2:58] but in like little letters well because you're selling little baby letters little baby little

[3:04] tiny letters that are like change my letter diapers but this is definitely a movie that

[3:11] plays it is definitely a movie you're right on our knowledge of other movies yeah this is so

[3:15] the movie it's this starred sylvester stallone and rob de niro as ex-boxers who had a famous

[3:21] rivalry 30 years ago, and now

[3:23] they're going to get their chance to settle their differences.

[3:25] Is this the summary already?

[3:26] No, this is my pre-summary.

[3:27] Settle their differences in the ring as old men.

[3:32] Few jokes.

[3:33] Yeah, about being old.

[3:35] But you're right, this movie is meaningless

[3:37] without the existence

[3:39] of Rocky and Rachel.

[3:40] Without the knowledge that

[3:41] these actors have appeared in other

[3:44] boxing movies, well-beloved

[3:46] boxing movies. Like Boxing Helena.

[3:48] And The Boxer.

[3:51] Both of which are Beloved.

[3:52] And the movie Beloved, which is about boxing as well.

[3:55] It's about boxing

[3:58] sort of the negative spirit of

[4:01] slavery. Sure, Toni Morrison

[4:03] boxes the shit out of it.

[4:04] She boxed it up and

[4:07] mailed it to fucking Abu Dhabi.

[4:09] Because it's

[4:11] Nermal represented slavery.

[4:13] Garfield is a freedom fighter.

[4:20] So yeah, so...

[4:21] Go back where you belong, to the backwards land of Abu Dhabi.

[4:24] So we watched this movie, and now it's going to...

[4:28] Here's a grudge of mine, seeing grudges.

[4:30] The totally random collection of characteristics that Garfield has,

[4:35] in that he hates Mondays, which as a cat you should not understand,

[4:39] and he loves lasagna.

[4:41] Neither of these is organic from a cat.

[4:43] Also hates spiders.

[4:44] I don't know.

[4:45] Like, I have a cat, and it likes kind of wet, moist food,

[4:48] and I think lasagna is kind of...

[4:50] What about Mondays? How does Muscles feel about Mondays?

[4:52] I mean,

[4:54] it's the same. Every day is

[4:55] a day of playing and bothering me.

[4:58] Every day is like Sunday.

[4:59] Some sunny day.

[5:02] So grudge match, shall we?

[5:04] But that's a depth in the character.

[5:05] You've got very divergent things, man.

[5:08] Yes, character Diamond hates Mondays,

[5:10] loves lasagna, a fat cat,

[5:12] mails other cat to Abu Dhabi.

[5:15] Exactly.

[5:15] So grudge match.

[5:18] And from that, 35 years of gold.

[5:20] Grudge Match is a movie about two fighters.

[5:24] You just described what it was about.

[5:26] I already said what it was about.

[5:27] So the movie begins way back in ye olden days

[5:30] where two CGI battlers are punching the shit out of each other.

[5:33] So we're supposed to be watching young Stallone and young De Niro

[5:36] fighting each other.

[5:37] Two dinosaurs fighting.

[5:38] I wish there was stop motion dinosaurs in boxing trunks.

[5:42] It looks more like a jib jab animation

[5:45] where they just put the faces on.

[5:47] They do some CGI faces of Young Stone and Young De Niro,

[5:51] and it looks terrible.

[5:52] If you thought the CGI face of Arnold on the robot

[5:55] in Terminator Salvation was terrible,

[5:57] that happened, right?

[5:59] Or did I make that up?

[6:00] I didn't see Terminator Salvation.

[6:01] Okay, good.

[6:01] You are a lucky one.

[6:03] Unlike the people killed by robots in the, you know,

[6:06] Robot Apocalypse.

[6:07] Robocalypse.

[6:08] Thank you.

[6:09] Yeah, yeah, Mrs. Robocalypse.

[6:10] But anyway, it's the 1980s,

[6:16] And one, they like, what, each win one fighting match

[6:19] against each other or something?

[6:20] It's called a boxing match.

[6:21] And there's this gladiatorial tournament.

[6:25] One's got more punch-os than the other.

[6:29] Yeah, one guy's punch meter was up higher, right?

[6:32] Yeah.

[6:33] And so he gets more super punches.

[6:34] He has more stars, yeah.

[6:35] And he does this special finishing move, which is a punch.

[6:37] Yeah, he sparkles and then he punches a guy.

[6:39] So they're supposed to have a rematch,

[6:43] but then sylvester sloan's character henry razor sharp so smith sloan is razor and robert de niro

[6:48] is billy the kid mcdonnan and so let's call him razor and the kid which is a good title for a

[6:53] better movie razor and the kid uh which would be about i guess a skateboarding gang and yeah one

[6:59] guy but one of them is a razor scooter yeah so that's the nerd and the kid is actually an old

[7:04] man yep but he still knows how to shred on a skateboard oh yeah and on a guitar because that

[7:09] old man is dick dale razor and the kids starring dick dale and let's say miles from murphy brown

[7:16] as the guy on the razor scooter why not the guy i always confuse with uh irs the wrestler from uh

[7:24] wwf erwin r shyster yeah i can see why you do that sure uh kind of anti-semitic but anyway so

[7:30] i'm not the wrestling matches so uh razor announces his retirement system and razor

[7:36] deniers renounces retirement and the match is called off and somehow this ruins deniro's career

[7:40] as well all right uh now we flash forward to 30 years uh razor is working at denier is working at

[7:48] a kind of shipping yard or place where sparks are made stallone is still on yeah razor yeah

[7:54] yes still a razor stallone uh is working at a factory where sparks fly at people and there's

[8:00] a sign that says caution where i wear but nobody's wearing eyewear so they're asking for a spark in

[8:04] the eye never happens de niro owns his own restaurant called knockouts and he does a kind

[8:10] of cabaret show there with a boxing puppet it is he is so totally strip mining raging bull for

[8:16] everything he can get from it and he's tripping on rocky too later so mr sloan will they do a joke

[8:21] about him possibly punching a side of meat drinking a bunch of raw eggs running around

[8:27] behind a guy on a motorized wheelchair just like in rocky yep yep telling a long monologue about

[8:33] a turtle to talia shire and losing to apollo creed having a robot butler that's right all

[8:40] these things rocky didn't have that's a runaway story gene's character same all right not the

[8:46] same character different character lives in the same universe the same franchise yeah yeah we all

[8:52] live in the same universe dan it's not like rocky's on an in and somewhere in the multiverse

[8:57] It's somewhere in the nth dimensional m-brain system of the universe.

[9:03] Like ever since Superboy punched the walls of this reality,

[9:06] I can't keep track of all the multiverses.

[9:08] That's a surprisingly recent comic reference for you, Dan.

[9:10] Yeah, well, I read that fucking Superman book.

[9:13] Oh, okay.

[9:14] Anyway, then who walks into...

[9:18] And so Alan Arkin, who is Sylvester Stallone's old trainer

[9:22] and plays his usual Alan Arkin part of Sassy Old Man,

[9:26] A foxy grandpa.

[9:27] Besweared old man.

[9:29] Yeah, it's like this character description says,

[9:33] Where's Hat?

[9:34] Cranky, sassy old man.

[9:35] Alan Arkin type.

[9:36] And Alan Arkin was like,

[9:37] I heard my name said.

[9:38] I'm here.

[9:39] I'm on the set.

[9:39] Just whatever.

[9:40] I can be an Alan Arkin type.

[9:42] Used to have a lot of range, Alan Arkin.

[9:44] Yeah, mostly focusing on the sassy old man roles.

[9:47] Alan Arkin is being too sassy

[9:50] and is getting kicked out of his nursing home.

[9:52] Sylvester Stallone, as a way of thanking him

[9:54] for always standing by him,

[9:55] has been paying his bills.

[9:56] He's running out of money, though,

[9:58] because there's only so much money you can make

[10:00] at the Sparks plant.

[10:01] Then, who should walk into his life but Kevin Hart,

[10:05] the son of his old boxing promoter,

[10:07] who wants to hire him to provide

[10:09] the motion capture animation and sound effects

[10:12] for a boxing video game.

[10:13] Now, you may remember if you saw Rocky Balboa,

[10:16] that is also a movie starring Sylvester Stallone,

[10:18] in which an old boxer gets roped back into the fighting game

[10:21] by a digital simulation of him fighting.

[10:25] So I guess what I'm saying is, one more, and it's officially a genre.

[10:28] The old boxers who are inspired by CGI versions of themselves genre.

[10:33] Played by Stallone.

[10:33] Played by Stallone, yeah.

[10:35] But in this case, it would be like, I guess, Cobra, Cobretti became a boxer and then retired.

[10:41] It has to be a Stallone character, you know.

[10:42] Maybe it's his character from I See You, that movie that went direct-to-video.

[10:46] Yeah.

[10:49] Or the Italian Stallion, the porno that he made.

[10:51] Sure.

[10:52] Which I think was called, what, like a party at Kitty's Place or something like that?

[10:55] He's got a wide-ranging and varied filmography,

[10:58] is what you're saying.

[10:58] Yeah, yeah.

[10:59] From directing Staying Alive to...

[11:01] To being in porn.

[11:03] To Spy Kids 3D.

[11:04] He was in the Get Carter remake.

[11:06] He was in the...

[11:07] Yeah.

[11:07] Was it called Get Carter or just Carter?

[11:09] I think...

[11:10] I don't remember.

[11:11] Michael Caine was in that, too.

[11:12] As a bartender.

[11:14] As old Carter.

[11:15] As, hey, remember, this is a remake.

[11:18] Anyway, we're not too far into the movie yet.

[11:21] But Kevin Hart gets him.

[11:23] He says, I'll do it.

[11:24] So Kevin Hart was thrown in there to add some fast pace to what is otherwise a snail's pace of a movie.

[11:30] Not to be racist, but he is very much the Chris Tucker of the movie.

[11:34] He is the fast-talking black guy who slings out the jokes, gets the white people to do things that they don't always want to do, and is like our sassy comic relief.

[11:44] And he's also like an actor who's currently successful in comedy roles, unlike the other actors in this movie.

[11:50] As a stand-up, he's hugely successful.

[11:53] It's kind of weird that it seems like

[11:55] Kevin Hart felt like to make his big movie break

[11:57] he needed to latch on to two old

[11:59] movie stars.

[12:00] Or maybe he just wanted to hang out with those two guys.

[12:03] I mean...

[12:04] Instead he should have done a remake of Heart to Heart.

[12:07] That's what I was just...

[12:08] But were you going to say that it was Kevin Hart teaming with

[12:11] Bret Hart, the western writer?

[12:13] Oh, not Bret Hart, the hitman Hart?

[12:15] It could be Bret the hitman Hart too.

[12:16] It's both of them. Forget Kevin Hart. He's not in anymore.

[12:19] It's Bret Hart, the western writer, and Bret the hitman

[12:21] Hart, the wrestler. And it's called

[12:23] heart to heart no forget it's called western wrestle that's amazing i was literally imagining

[12:29] a scenario where he was pitching like i'm gonna do a remake of heart to heart and they're like

[12:32] kevin you don't need to do a movie that just has your name in it like okay what about love beeps

[12:38] we'll call it heart beeps i think it was actually yeah what about music for the heart no what about

[12:45] untamed heart i can pretend to have a monkey heart i could do it i swear i could do it

[12:49] Kevin, I don't think you understand what movies are.

[12:51] Wild Hearts can't be broken.

[12:52] I'm a diving horse, and a girl rides me.

[12:55] Kevin, you know what?

[12:59] Why don't you just leave?

[13:00] You just want a girl to ride you, like a horse.

[13:02] Lucky Number Kevin.

[13:02] I do.

[13:03] We'll call it Lucky Number Kevin.

[13:04] It's a remake of Lucky Number Slevin.

[13:05] It's about a guy with a name that no one has.

[13:08] Okay, what about Kevin?

[13:09] It's a remake of Seven.

[13:11] But instead of Seven Sins-Based Crime, they're Kevin Hart Stand-Up Bit-Based Crimes.

[13:15] What about We Need to Talk About Kevin?

[13:17] That's a really recent movie to remake, Kevin.

[13:19] Yeah, well, we're rebooting it to start the franchise over again.

[13:22] A new generation.

[13:23] There are people who've been born in the last two years who never saw that movie.

[13:28] But all the toddlers who haven't seen it, we have to talk about Kevin.

[13:30] Okay.

[13:32] We should just keep going, I guess.

[13:37] So Sylvester Stallone needs the money to support Alan Arkin, so he says, yes, I'll do it.

[13:41] As long as I don't have to see Robert De Niro.

[13:44] I don't want to see that guy.

[13:45] So Sylvester Stallone.

[13:47] Understandable.

[13:47] Now, let's get one thing straight.

[13:49] Like you guys mentioned, this is a shaggy, slow-moving movie.

[13:53] So there's a lot of incident and many scenes of characters just talking

[13:57] or just hanging out and restating things.

[14:01] Yeah, at length.

[14:02] Now, Sylvester Stallone goes.

[14:03] There's some hilarious jokes about him wearing a motion capture suit.

[14:06] He starts acting it out.

[14:08] And then who should show up but Bobby De Niro, also in a motion capture suit.

[14:12] Do the two of them get along?

[14:13] They don't.

[14:14] They get in a big fight.

[14:15] They wreck all the state-of-the-art electronics.

[14:17] Luckily, someone very unprofessional at the recording studio

[14:21] records the whole thing on his phone, puts it on YouTube,

[14:23] it gets a million hits before the end of the afternoon,

[14:27] and suddenly it's viral and all over the news,

[14:29] even though Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro

[14:31] haven't been bailed out of jail yet

[14:33] for this fight that wrecked all this stuff.

[14:35] That's how the internet works, man.

[14:36] I also want to say, happens instantly.

[14:37] The movie makes not one, but two jokes

[14:41] about someone saying,

[14:43] Hey, you look like, what's this, from Toy Story.

[14:48] You're up in a buzz light.

[14:49] Dan, this is something, I don't know why this is your cross to bear and your axe to grind.

[14:55] Well, because the movie thinks it's...

[14:56] That was some good cliches we just threw in there.

[14:58] They're wearing normal mocap suits, which is like green suits.

[15:02] Yeah, made of mohair.

[15:02] Thanks for using industry terms.

[15:05] Yeah, we're not all in the television biz, Mr. Mocap.

[15:08] They're fucking green suits.

[15:08] Hey, mocap mo problems, right?

[15:10] With a bunch of dust.

[15:12] You can go to this asshole, come on.

[15:13] They were in green suits

[15:15] Covered in

[15:16] A bunch of dots over it

[15:16] And two people say

[15:17] Hey you look like Buzz Lightyear

[15:19] The movie thinks

[15:20] That's a good enough joke

[15:20] To make twice

[15:21] Buzz Lightyear with a camel toe

[15:22] Buzz Lightyear

[15:23] A guy who's in a white

[15:24] Astronaut suit

[15:26] With wings

[15:26] Clearly talking about

[15:27] Buzz Lightyear

[15:27] Out of the astronaut suit

[15:29] There's green elements

[15:29] In his inner suit

[15:30] He has green elements

[15:31] On his suit

[15:32] With chicken pox

[15:33] See that's good shit

[15:35] You should be writing

[15:36] Movies like this

[15:37] For Kevin Hart

[15:38] Alright

[15:38] You're wasting yourself

[15:39] On Jon Stewart

[15:40] Kevin Hart jokes

[15:41] Yeah I'm gonna start

[15:41] I'm gonna get on his facts list

[15:43] I'm going to send those in

[15:44] His facts list

[15:45] Like facts about Kevin Hart

[15:46] They're just in a list

[15:47] Fact

[15:48] Kevin Hart is 5'7

[15:49] It's a

[15:50] It's called an F-A-K

[15:52] It's frequently asked

[15:53] Kevin Hart questions

[15:54] Fact

[15:55] Kevin Hart

[15:56] Has a heart

[15:56] He actually has two hearts Elliot

[16:01] One in his name

[16:02] And one in his body

[16:03] Fact

[16:03] Unlike a cow

[16:04] Kevin Hart

[16:05] Has only one stomach

[16:06] That's a good fact

[16:07] That's a good fact

[16:08] Yep

[16:08] Let's check that

[16:09] Can we confirm that

[16:10] Thank you

[16:10] Can the Flophouse fact checker

[16:12] Get on that

[16:12] The Flophouse Ombudsman?

[16:14] The Flophouse Fact Cat?

[16:15] The House Cat picks on the Fact Cat all the time.

[16:20] Oh, what a nerdy cat

[16:22] the Flophouse Fact Cat is.

[16:24] The Fact Cat is allergic to cats.

[16:27] That's the sad thing.

[16:27] Oh, that is so sad.

[16:28] Well, he and I can sympathize together about that.

[16:30] Anyway, they get...

[16:32] So he gets an offer to do a big fight

[16:35] between Razor and the Kid

[16:36] with him as the promoter

[16:37] that he calls Grudge Match

[16:39] or Grudgement Day.

[16:40] He also calls it.

[16:41] And they accept on the basis that they're going to get a lot of money.

[16:45] And because Sylvester Stallone learns he's been laid off from the factory.

[16:49] Yeah, nobody needs Sparks anymore.

[16:51] No, Sparks are all, now it's all digital.

[16:53] Sure.

[16:54] Just like the publishing industry, the internet has really destroyed the Sparks industry.

[16:58] Yeah.

[16:59] People have their apps that just make the image of Sparks, you know, that kind of stuff.

[17:02] So they accept the offer.

[17:04] there's a press conference at a sparsely attended ballroom uh in which they just generally gab at

[17:11] a gabble at each other and they say a lot of they insult each other a lot but kim basinger shows up

[17:16] kim basinger shows up now kim basinger it turns out bass bass master kim bass master kim big

[17:22] mouth billy bass bofinger bofinger academy award winner kim basinger academy now there are three

[17:30] academy award winners in this cast sylvester stallone for best screenplay for rocky yeah uh

[17:37] kim basinger for la confidential robert de niro for a couple different movies and and then alan

[17:43] arkin is an academy award winner too this is a huge cast in this stupid movie this shaggy dog

[17:48] movie that takes forever to go anywhere has an amazing cast it's kind of like um uh what food

[17:56] fight what was the movie that we were talking about an amazing cast uh skidoo yeah it was

[18:02] yeah groucho marx is there jackie gleason carol channing uh all sorts of people anyway kim baseman

[18:09] shows up she was sylvester sloan's girlfriend 30 years ago but she got mad at him and cheated on

[18:15] with robert de niro and got totes preggers yeah sure and that's why they walked away from the

[18:20] Old world style.

[18:21] He knocked her out with a baby.

[18:24] Knocked her out of the dating game, that is.

[18:26] By punching a baby into her with his penis fist.

[18:30] And he didn't wear a glove or else she wouldn't have gotten pregnant.

[18:33] Which we also call a man condom.

[18:35] It sounds like a villain in a penthouse comics strip.

[18:42] Face the fear of man condom.

[18:45] He makes it feel worse.

[18:47] Well, it takes away sun sensation.

[18:49] I don't know, I'd feel worse.

[18:50] Something like saying it makes you last longer?

[18:56] I mean, if you need that sort of thing.

[18:57] If you're like, you know,

[18:58] a one-and-out kind of guy, you know.

[19:00] Dan, we can talk about your problems later.

[19:02] But the point of this is,

[19:05] so she wants to get back...

[19:06] She was the reason that...

[19:08] It's because she cheated on him with Robert De Niro

[19:10] that Sylvester Stallone said,

[19:12] I want to take away from De Niro

[19:13] the one thing he loves the most,

[19:14] which is this fight

[19:15] and his chance to prove he can beat me.

[19:17] I'm going to take that away

[19:18] and he'll never have it

[19:19] and it'll bother him for 30 years.

[19:20] And it does.

[19:21] De Niro is very eager to get back in the ring

[19:23] because for 30 years he's been aching

[19:26] over the chance to punch out the razor.

[19:28] Well, this is one of those movies

[19:29] where people are haunted by one event

[19:32] that happened to them in their youth.

[19:35] And I'm not saying that that doesn't happen,

[19:37] but it happens a lot more in the movies.

[19:39] Yeah, because it's dramatic.

[19:40] Yeah, like, and I know what you did last summer.

[19:43] I also know what you did last summer.

[19:45] But this is the basis of, say, all those movies

[19:47] where people go back to their high school reunions

[19:51] and recreate the prom or whatever

[19:52] as if that was something that they did not get over

[19:55] immediately upon leaving high school.

[19:58] Carrie is a high school reunion,

[20:01] but everyone's dead, including her.

[20:02] Just Amy Irving in an empty gym.

[20:04] Carrie's there like,

[20:05] I thought more people would show up.

[20:06] Yeah, Amy Irving's like,

[20:08] you killed them all.

[20:09] What are you talking about?

[20:10] And then you died.

[20:11] Why are you here?

[20:12] I wanted to see what everyone was up to.

[20:14] I wanted to see who got fat.

[20:16] Well no one got fat Carrie

[20:18] They all got dead

[20:19] They're very thin now because they're bones

[20:20] What about that nice teacher who was nice to me

[20:23] You slammed her in half with a basketball hoop

[20:26] That doesn't sound like something I'd do

[20:28] Was I drunk?

[20:29] You do this all the time

[20:31] Come on Carrie

[20:32] And Carrie gets so mad she kills Amy Irving

[20:34] A lot smaller body count

[20:37] Because there's only one other person alive in my graduating class

[20:40] But a very cheap movie to make

[20:42] Carrie died before graduation

[20:43] But she got her GED in hell

[20:45] so it is a cheap movie yeah because there's one person and it's amy irving who's not doing a lot

[20:51] of work these days what is she up to these days aside from being married to her husband julius

[20:55] irving i think that i mean this is a while under the orange julius when that was a show i think

[21:02] that she was on that oh really yeah well i know well viewers write in amy irving if you're

[21:07] listening right into flop house care of where's amy irving these days p.o box amy irving irving

[21:13] california u.s united states yeah and while you're at that stop writing in about streganana we get it

[21:19] damn it streganana anyway so kim basinger wants to tell her him i want to be back in your life

[21:25] and i don't want you to do this fight because you'll get hurt uh meanwhile he starts up with

[21:29] his old coach alan arkin to get back in shape uh sylvester slow who is doing amazing for a guy who

[21:35] just got taken out of a nursing home a guy who apparently needed nursing care really badly is

[21:39] now, yeah, doing great, just living with

[21:41] Sylvester Stallone. He was complaining that he needed a man

[21:43] to wash his balls, is

[21:45] now, yeah. Sure. It's one of those movies

[21:47] which has to look like some kind of parachute

[21:50] with a couple eggs in it by now.

[21:51] Just some

[21:57] marbles in a deflated balloon.

[21:59] Oh, gross.

[22:05] Two grapes in a reused piece of aluminum

[22:07] foil.

[22:09] You guys are making it weird, Zappin.

[22:13] I mean, yeah, you started off...

[22:15] I was just saying, he's probably got a really long ballsack.

[22:17] I was making the reasonable point.

[22:21] What Stuart meant was that Alan Arkin has a long shelf of ballsack novels.

[22:24] For anyone who might be offended.

[22:26] Because he loves to read.

[22:28] Actually, he loves watching TV.

[22:29] And one of Alan Arkin's funniest lines in the movie.

[22:31] And he does, eventually...

[22:33] Here's the thing.

[22:33] Maybe we just got Stockholm Syndrome.

[22:35] But this movie, after a certain point, starts being funny

[22:38] because the characters are literally just hanging around

[22:40] quipping at each other and just kind of

[22:42] being lazily, casually funny

[22:44] in a way that the movie is very forced

[22:46] when it does. So they start training.

[22:48] Sylvester Stallone, or Rob De Niro

[22:50] wants to train with LL Cool J, who's a famous

[22:52] fight promoter who has a reality, a trainer

[22:54] who has a reality show about him in this universe.

[22:56] I think his dad trained with him. That was the thing.

[22:58] Oh, okay. Oh, he trained with his, yeah.

[23:00] LL Cool J's dad trained, or whatever.

[23:02] But anyway, but LL Cool J won't do it.

[23:04] He hangs, he hooks him up with a guy

[23:06] who's not paying

[23:07] attention to him

[23:07] and that's when

[23:08] Robert De Niro's son

[23:09] BJ steps in

[23:10] BJ starts to be

[23:12] his trainer

[23:12] after being won over

[23:14] by the dad he

[23:15] always hated

[23:15] and then

[23:16] BJ brings his son in

[23:18] who's a little kid

[23:19] so

[23:19] like the cast

[23:21] is just metastasizing

[23:22] wildly

[23:23] as more and more

[23:24] characters are dumped

[23:24] in this thing

[23:25] like a fucking

[23:25] Dickens novel

[23:26] but the point is

[23:28] there's so many

[23:29] characters eventually

[23:30] that it's like

[23:30] the movie is just

[23:31] trying to mix and

[23:32] match them in

[23:32] different scenes

[23:33] yeah let's throw

[23:34] fucking Jonathan Lipnicki

[23:35] in with one of the

[23:36] where there's just a scene of Kevin Hart

[23:38] apparently does all of his business on his phone

[23:40] while lying on the hood of his car in a motel parking lot.

[23:42] There's just a scene of him yelling at some prostitutes

[23:44] that hang out at the motel.

[23:45] Presumed prostitutes.

[23:47] No, they're just dressed like prostitutes

[23:48] and hanging out at a hotel, you know.

[23:50] Yeah.

[23:50] Or a motel, rather.

[23:51] But there's a lot of scenes of just Alan Arkin

[23:54] saying goofy stuff, characters just kind of interacting.

[23:57] And in a better movie, like in an Altamont movie,

[24:01] not an Altamont movie,

[24:03] you know like

[24:05] they're all hanging out and then a Hell's Angel stabs somebody

[24:07] in a Robert Altman movie

[24:09] there'd be something kind of vibrant about seeing

[24:11] these characters interact but here it's just kind of like

[24:13] lazy actors lazing around

[24:15] occasionally saying funny stuff

[24:17] yeah you were gonna like the

[24:19] what was the line

[24:20] he's like he goes to Sebastian Sloan's house

[24:23] Sebastian Sloan doesn't have a TV and Alan Arkin's like

[24:25] can't believe you don't have a TV I could be watching

[24:27] Dancing with the Stars right now

[24:28] I'm old I should be watching Dancing with the Stars

[24:31] But the way he says, like, I'm old.

[24:33] I should be watching dance with this.

[24:34] Like, his delivery is fine.

[24:36] I mean, he's an old pro.

[24:36] No, you guys do it justice.

[24:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[24:40] Steal justice.

[24:40] However, whatever goodwill he builds up,

[24:45] I think he loses a lot of it

[24:47] when he does that weird Humpty Dance thing.

[24:49] When someone's on the phone with the invader.

[24:51] To be fair, that was his chance to do the hump.

[24:53] Yeah, that's true.

[24:54] You get so few chances to do the hump.

[24:57] In this life.

[24:58] When the Humpty Dance comes around.

[25:00] You've got to catch it.

[25:01] You've got to jump on it.

[25:02] It's just like a beautiful woman.

[25:04] You don't get a shot like this every day.

[25:06] No.

[25:06] You've got to go for it.

[25:07] Yeah.

[25:08] Just like that scene in It's a Wonderful Life.

[25:10] Oh, would you just do the Humpty dance instead of talking it to death?

[25:13] Anyway.

[25:14] Youth is wasted on the young.

[25:15] Someday I want to just pull down the moon and swallow it up,

[25:21] and the light will shine out of your fingers,

[25:23] and we'll do the Humpty dance.

[25:24] It's a Wonderful Hump is the name of that movie.

[25:26] That's a Sean Connery monologue, huh?

[25:28] When I was in It's a Wonderful Life playing Jimmy Stewart,

[25:32] I also played Clarence the Angel.

[25:35] What actor was that?

[25:37] I don't remember his name, but it was me.

[25:39] He was also in Shadow of a Doubt and The Invisible Man.

[25:41] I also played those roles.

[25:43] You played The Invisible Man and you played Shadow of a Doubt?

[25:45] Yes, I played S.H. Doubt.

[25:47] Shadow Hover Doubt.

[25:49] Okay, Mr. Connery, you're going to have to take your meds.

[25:52] I don't think so.

[25:54] I think I already took them.

[25:55] Look over there.

[25:57] Sean Connery jumps out a window, runs away from old folks' home.

[25:59] I played the meds, and then I swallowed them.

[26:03] I lost them, like you lost your keys.

[26:05] All right.

[26:06] Got any keys?

[26:08] Sounds like my catchphrase, got any cheese,

[26:10] when I played Steve Urkel on Family Matters.

[26:14] I also played Carl Winslow in the role of Reginald Bell Johnson.

[26:17] I think you have that mixed up.

[26:19] You have the actor's name as the role,

[26:20] and it doesn't matter, I played it all with Sean Connery.

[26:23] Anyway, that's an old bit.

[26:25] But the movie is occasionally funny

[26:28] when it's just the characters talking,

[26:31] which is too much of the movie, frankly.

[26:32] My complaint to the best,

[26:34] it's one of those movies where...

[26:35] Too much of it was somebody talking a lot.

[26:37] Elliot won't stand for it.

[26:40] It's weird.

[26:40] This movie is bloated and overlong and shaggy

[26:43] and there are a lot of scenes you don't need

[26:44] where the characters are hanging out,

[26:46] but occasionally those are the best moments

[26:48] in a very mediocre to poor movie.

[26:51] It's just like the characters interacting

[26:53] occasionally brings up some kind of

[26:55] jewel of a moment, but usually it's just

[26:57] boring. But then when they do these big set

[26:59] pieces, like to promote the fight,

[27:01] Stallone and De Niro skydive

[27:03] out of a plane and then get into a fist fight.

[27:05] And it's like... Yeah, then it turns

[27:07] into like sub-old dogs.

[27:09] Yeah, it's very terrible. The scenes

[27:11] where they put a lot of effort in are really bad.

[27:13] And it reminds me of what I call

[27:15] the Caddyshack boat principle.

[27:17] Those familiar with Caddyshack

[27:19] may remember the boat chase scene

[27:21] where they wreck a bunch of boats,

[27:23] by far the least funny scene in the movie.

[27:25] And you could slide that scene right out of the movie

[27:27] and it would not harm it at all.

[27:29] But you can also tell that that has to be the scene

[27:31] they put the most work into.

[27:32] There's stunts in it, they're breaking boats.

[27:35] The best scenes in the movie are when Bill Murray

[27:36] is just making shit up off the top of his head.

[27:38] And yet, the worst scenes in the movie

[27:41] is the one where you know they put the most effort into it.

[27:43] Nobody's sitting around quoting

[27:45] breaking boats with their frat brothers or nothing.

[27:48] Everyone's saying that Dalai Lama part.

[27:51] but it makes sense though i mean like because the thing is you know uh de niro and stallone

[27:56] and alan arkin are all charming actors so to just have them hanging out like that's going to be a

[28:01] lot more fun than trying to shove them into these contrived situations yeah you think the director's

[28:07] like do whatever you want just make sure at some point you say geriatric or make some joke about

[28:12] being old there are a little few too many jokes about being old you're like i get it they're old

[28:17] Oh, God.

[28:18] Stop it with reminding me.

[28:20] They look old.

[28:20] They're wrinkled hags.

[28:21] Come on.

[28:22] Their shirts are off.

[28:23] It's crazy gross.

[28:24] Yeah, yeah.

[28:25] But I mean, they're in really good shape.

[28:26] They're in really good shape for like being 60 or whatever.

[28:28] But I mean, if that's what I have to look forward to, kill me now, Dan.

[28:30] Okay.

[28:31] What's weird is...

[28:33] How do you choose to die?

[28:34] Knife, gun, poison?

[28:37] Death by chocolate.

[28:38] Okay.

[28:39] This is going to take a lot of chocolate.

[28:40] So you're going to drown in the chocolate?

[28:42] Yeah, start smearing it on my body.

[28:43] Or you want to be stabbed with a chocolate knife?

[28:45] A chocolate dagger?

[28:46] I'm going to smear it on your body.

[28:47] That only exists in India, Elliot.

[28:49] Hold on.

[28:49] From the Tuggy cult.

[28:51] You're going to die.

[28:52] The Fudgy cult.

[28:53] They worship death by chocolate.

[28:57] Awesome.

[28:59] I can't believe I walked into that.

[29:00] Yeah.

[29:01] Walked into that dagger.

[29:02] Made of chocolate.

[29:04] I'm going to smear it on your body,

[29:05] and you're going to die through absorbing the chocolate through your pores.

[29:08] It'll be like in Goldfinger, but it would be like Chocolate Painter.

[29:11] There's a Bond villain,

[29:12] and he wants to break into the U.S. Chocolate Reserve.

[29:16] steal all the chocolate to eat it.

[29:17] He's going to Hershey's, Pennsylvania.

[29:19] What a low-rent Bond movie that would be.

[29:23] James, there's been a thread on Hershey's, Pennsylvania.

[29:26] When I make the chocolate, I'm on the case.

[29:28] I mean, you don't usually say I'm on the case.

[29:31] You're not a policeman.

[29:33] The game's afoot.

[29:34] Wait, that's not your thing.

[29:36] That's what you say.

[29:36] May the force be with you.

[29:38] I said that in the Star Wars movies.

[29:40] Episode 1, Casino Royale.

[29:43] It's not, no.

[29:44] You weren't even in those movies.

[29:46] And Casino Royale wasn't even your first Bond film.

[29:50] That doesn't make sense.

[29:51] No, it wasn't.

[29:51] But it was the first one made for American television.

[29:54] Okay, well, that's true, but...

[29:55] You didn't play Bond.

[29:56] You didn't play that.

[29:57] He was an American in that version.

[29:58] Anyway.

[30:00] Anyway, Zardoz.

[30:01] Bond trivia.

[30:02] It turns out, so,

[30:03] Sylvester Stallone starts to get back together with Kim Basinger.

[30:06] They go on a date.

[30:06] A date which includes, for no reason,

[30:09] a moment of a white guy using black slang

[30:13] in a stilted way.

[30:14] It's like a little bit of BAPS.

[30:15] He gets a phone call from Kevin Hart.

[30:17] There's a little BAPS in all of us.

[30:18] I guess Mater D, I don't know,

[30:20] walks over and says,

[30:21] Sir, you have a phone call from a Kevin Hart.

[30:23] I don't remember his character's name.

[30:24] He goes, he says,

[30:26] it says it's mad crazy

[30:28] and shit is about to get real.

[30:30] It's like, oh God.

[30:31] It's like the movie just stuck a dagger in my ear.

[30:34] Do you feel that Alan Arkin

[30:36] was fulfilling the role of like

[30:37] sass-talking granny?

[30:38] Yes, but grampy.

[30:40] Okay.

[30:42] He was playing the Foxy Grandpa character.

[30:44] So we have the two comedic tropes you like the most.

[30:47] Foxy Grandpa is a real comedy.

[30:49] I know, it existed before.

[30:50] Yeah, yeah.

[30:51] So your two favorite comedic tropes are used, right?

[30:53] My two favorite comedic tropes

[30:54] are a white guy saying black slang

[30:55] and an old man who's super, super wants sex

[31:00] and is real frisky and says crazy things.

[31:02] But the second one I like a little more

[31:04] if only because there's more room for it.

[31:05] You can do different types of sassy old man jokes.

[31:08] There's only one type of white guy.

[31:09] Yeah, and sometimes the old man turns out

[31:10] to be a monster or like a demon.

[31:12] yes occasionally there's two kinds of white guys doing black slang jokes there's when

[31:16] the white guy is really into it and the joke is what a poser and there's the times when it's like

[31:22] an english butler who's quoting something that he heard yeah like stodgy and stuck up exactly

[31:27] but anyway they're on a date they get back into a car and sylvester sloan is blindsided by another

[31:32] driver it turns out in a horrifyingly realistic accident in which almost no one is hurt where

[31:38] Kim Basinger gets a scar.

[31:39] Horrifyingly realistic with a beautiful green screen.

[31:42] Yeah.

[31:42] I mean, if you ignore that it looks like 30s rear projection on the green screen.

[31:46] All right.

[31:47] It breaks the tone of the movie a little bit.

[31:50] I'm like, wait, did Kim Basinger just get killed?

[31:52] It's not adaptation level where those were the two scariest car crashes I've ever seen in a movie, I think.

[31:59] That first one in adaptation is ridiculously scary.

[32:02] But it comes out of nowhere, and you don't see Kim Basinger for a couple seconds.

[32:07] So you think, yeah, was she killed?

[32:08] Is this going to be the fuel that fuels the grudge match

[32:12] that he's just reconnecting with this woman

[32:14] that De Niro stole from him

[32:15] and now she's been taken away?

[32:16] And Stallone beats De Niro to death in the ring.

[32:19] Yeah, but no, she's fine.

[32:20] That was just a reveal to us.

[32:21] It was pretty funny, Dan.

[32:22] The movie turned so dark out of nowhere.

[32:25] It's like an audition-level tonal shift.

[32:28] Sure.

[32:28] But it's just a reveal to us

[32:30] that Sylvester Stallone is blind in one eye,

[32:32] which he never told anybody,

[32:33] and if Rob De Niro learns that...

[32:35] Probably got a bunch of sparks in it.

[32:36] Yeah, yeah.

[32:37] He wasn't wearing protective eye gear.

[32:39] He was eaten by the monster of love.

[32:41] What?

[32:41] It's a Sparks song.

[32:43] Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.

[32:44] I was thinking of the Gangster of Love, the Talking Heads song.

[32:48] And, of course, the, what's the, in Space Cowboy, what does he call himself?

[32:53] The Gangster of Love.

[32:54] Gangster of Love, okay.

[32:55] Some people call him Maurice.

[32:56] Yeah, I don't know.

[32:57] Well, it's because he's singing about Maurice Evans from the Planet of the Apes movies.

[33:01] Anyways.

[33:03] Stuart, do you want to speak of the Papadus of Love, or can we move on?

[33:06] So that's the, that's the, that's the Sylvester Stallone setback.

[33:12] The De Niro setback is that he's reconnecting with his son and grandson, takes his grandson

[33:16] for the day, and instead of taking him to the movies like he promised, takes him to

[33:19] his bar where they hang out with a bunch of floozies, and De Niro sneaks away to the back

[33:23] seat of his car.

[33:24] The kid decides to drive home, sits on a case of beer, and starts putting the car into neutral

[33:32] to drive away, and almost crashes that car while De Niro is having sex in the back.

[33:36] luckily there's a police officer to arrest the floozy and i guess the kid it's a little weird

[33:43] because the car literally inches out of a driveway and then stops and then you hear a siren go

[33:49] when the car has done nothing welcome to the police state well well well what do we got

[33:55] fucking sentinels are here somebody took their car out of the driveway and then stopped a precog

[34:02] saw that you would slightly

[34:03] back your car out of a driveway.

[34:05] Get ready for

[34:08] a minority report jail. Freeze them up.

[34:10] Take their brains out. Whatever it is

[34:12] they do there.

[34:12] BJ, the son, is mad. He says,

[34:15] I'm not going to train you anymore. But eventually

[34:18] they get back together.

[34:19] De Niro reveals that he has a scrapbook full of

[34:22] BJ moments. BJ's the son.

[34:24] That scrapbook full of Robert De Niro getting blowjobs.

[34:26] And that wins him

[34:28] back over. Sylvester Stallone tells

[34:30] alan arkin i just won't tell robert de niro that i'm blind to an eye so the grudge match arrives

[34:34] they're back in fighting shape and they fight for a while uh and then the kid knows about he

[34:42] doesn't know about the the blind the blind spot yeah and is beating the crap out of razor uh but

[34:48] then he learns that razor's blind to an eye and he says hey this isn't a fair fight he lifts de

[34:52] niro up off lifts stallone up off his feet so they can fight fair and they fight for a while and then

[34:59] And the tables are turned.

[35:00] The tables turn, they turn back, they turn again.

[35:02] Stallone lifts De Niro up off the canvas.

[35:06] They do the thing that happens in boxing movies

[35:07] where the two people just stand and punch each other

[35:09] without really moving very much,

[35:11] which is maybe my favorite moment in Rocky Balboa

[35:14] when Rocky and Mason Dixon, the younger fighter,

[35:17] Rocky is being battered so hard

[35:19] and he's having these flashbacks to Adrian's grave.

[35:24] To Rambo.

[35:27] He's flashing back to other Sylvester Stallone roles.

[35:29] He's like, I can't believe I made that porno.

[35:31] I know it was early in my career, but still.

[35:32] Man, you keep going back to that one,

[35:34] but you haven't talked about I See You that much.

[35:36] Not that much.

[35:37] Or Rhinestone or Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead,

[35:39] which he wasn't in,

[35:40] but sounds like Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.

[35:42] And I think it's time for a crossover between the two.

[35:44] Don't Tell Mom My Babysitter's Shooting.

[35:46] I got a question, Elliot.

[35:49] How come the movie Oscar wasn't nominated for an Oscar?

[35:51] It seems like it was Oscar fate.

[35:52] It was not very good, that's why.

[35:54] Oscar was the first time I remember seeing a commercial for a movie

[35:58] Where they had people in the theater

[36:00] Talking about the movie

[36:01] And then they would cut to a line of dialogue from the movie

[36:04] As if that was a response to what the person was saying

[36:07] Like someone was like

[36:09] I like Stallone more for comedy than action

[36:11] And it cuts to Stallone being like

[36:12] Well how about that

[36:13] As if he was having a conversation through the movie screen

[36:16] Like it's Purple Rose of the Oscar

[36:18] Or something like that

[36:19] I was imagining people in the audience

[36:21] Like the commercial had people in the audience

[36:23] It was okay I guess

[36:26] I mean, I don't want my money back.

[36:28] We had to pay for a babysitter, but it was a nice night out.

[36:32] But in Rocky Balboa, Sylvester Stallone's getting beat up,

[36:35] and then it's like, oh, but we've got to finish this thing.

[36:37] And Mason Dixon's like, yeah, let's finish it.

[36:39] And then there's a wide shot of the two of them just standing,

[36:41] feet planted on the ground, just swinging their hands at each other

[36:44] like rock-em-sock-em robots.

[36:45] And anyway, that ends like that.

[36:48] And in a split decision based on points, Sylvester Stallone wins.

[36:52] There's no climactic knockout.

[36:54] It's just Sylvester Stallone gets named the winner.

[36:56] Everybody is happy.

[36:58] Suddenly Stallone and De Niro are friends again.

[37:00] I mean, they weren't before, but they're kind of friendly now.

[37:03] And there are.

[37:04] And Alan Arkin is like, we were robbed.

[37:08] We were robbed.

[37:08] Someone brought the judges.

[37:09] There's a long-running joke that his hearing aid doesn't work well.

[37:13] And Stallone's like, no, no, fix your hearing aid.

[37:14] We won.

[37:15] And Alan Arkin's like, we won.

[37:16] Damn hearing aid.

[37:17] Hearing aid.

[37:18] Smash cut to credits.

[37:19] And then there are two post-credit scenes.

[37:22] In one, Razor and Kevin Hart and Alan Arkin are watching as Robert De Niro is on Dancing with the Stars.

[37:30] And then Sylvester Stallone leaves to go hang out with his girlfriend.

[37:34] And then there's a second post-credits scene where Kevin Hart is trying to convince Mike Tyson and Evandra Holyfield to get back into the ring together.

[37:42] Yeah.

[37:43] And there's some ear jokes.

[37:45] There's some ear jokes and a hangover joke.

[37:47] The end.

[37:49] weird to see

[37:50] Evander Holyfield

[37:51] and Mike Tyson

[37:51] together because

[37:52] they both look

[37:52] really old

[37:53] and it

[37:55] puts a lot

[37:56] of pressure

[37:57] on Kevin Hart

[37:57] to keep

[37:58] keep energy

[37:59] in that scene

[38:00] which he's

[38:00] for an energetic

[38:01] guy it is still

[38:02] difficult to watch

[38:03] so I guess

[38:04] what I'd say

[38:05] about this movie

[38:05] is it is a long

[38:06] road to nowhere

[38:07] yeah

[38:08] and like if

[38:09] this movie was

[38:10] an hour and

[38:10] ten minutes

[38:12] yeah

[38:13] it might have

[38:13] been a fun

[38:14] like over long

[38:15] supersized episode

[38:16] of a sitcom

[38:16] about two

[38:18] aging former

[38:18] boxers but instead it's supposed to be a movie and it's nearly two hours long yeah and it's not

[38:24] quite a drama and it's not funny enough really to be a comedy so i don't know it's not quite a drama

[38:30] and it's not quite a comedy but boy yeah i got nothing else that was a homer paraphrase yeah it

[38:37] was um they're not quite mobs they're not quite puppets but boy can they so to answer your question

[38:45] I don't know

[38:45] yeah

[38:46] on that note

[38:49] I was very excited

[38:50] to watch this movie

[38:51] because I'm a big fan

[38:52] of Stallone

[38:53] I'm a big fan of De Niro

[38:54] I like stupid things

[38:56] and I wanted

[38:57] this movie idea

[38:58] was so dumb to me

[38:59] and yet it was just

[39:00] so like

[39:00] in boxing movies

[39:01] I mean for

[39:02] for a sport

[39:03] that even as a person

[39:04] who doesn't like sports

[39:05] I find extremely boring

[39:08] boxing movies usually

[39:09] are good

[39:11] as a sport

[39:11] it's very dull

[39:11] but as in movies

[39:12] it's very cinematic

[39:13] because there's few things

[39:14] movies do better than two guys punching the shit

[39:16] out of each other.

[39:17] It's a very literal conflict

[39:20] between two people where they just come together

[39:22] at the end and punch each other.

[39:24] But I don't know.

[39:26] I actually wasn't that excited about it because it felt

[39:28] so phoned in.

[39:30] Just hearing the premise, seeing

[39:32] the trailer, seeing the posters. It felt

[39:34] like the blandest

[39:36] we basically made this movie so

[39:38] we could make a poster. You're going to pay

[39:40] money for it, dummy. You would rather

[39:42] see four elderly people go

[39:44] to Las Vegas for a bachelor party

[39:46] is what you're saying. Yeah, but it would have to be their

[39:48] last time going to Las Vegas.

[39:50] It would be like Las Vegas.

[39:52] Like in Six String Samurai.

[39:54] It's post-apocalyptic.

[39:56] These old people are not just old, they're from the

[39:58] past. And these old guys want to get laid.

[40:00] They need to get laid to repopulate

[40:02] the earth. And to generate

[40:04] the sex energy that powers their erotic

[40:06] time machines.

[40:07] Otherwise, they would be...

[40:11] i think here's why i wanted to part of the reason i want to see this was because it seemed like a

[40:15] total stupid cash grab for these two guys and in the end they kind of put more effort into it than

[40:20] i thought but not enough to make it oh get it over that hurdle but i also like that it's similar to

[40:26] how a band that used to play stadiums now will have to team up with another band to play large

[40:31] festivals this felt like stallone can't open a movie anymore deniro can't open a movie anymore

[40:36] so we'll do the monsters of boxing movies and we'll have stallone and deniro in one movie

[40:41] You know, like when, you know, like Iron Maiden and Megadeth are on a bill together.

[40:45] Like they can't, they can't totally do it themselves.

[40:48] Sure.

[40:48] They're going to do it together.

[40:49] Yeah.

[40:50] Um, and then they had to bring in the powerhouse, Kim Basinger.

[40:56] Yeah.

[40:57] Cause you need, you need a babe.

[40:58] Basinger.

[41:00] A little bit, a little bit of arm candy.

[41:02] And, uh, to bring in Kevin Hart, of course, for the youth vote.

[41:04] And then, uh, to bring in Alan Arkin for the dead vote.

[41:07] Oh boy.

[41:09] There's so many jokes about Alan Arkin.

[41:11] It's weird because it's like Grumpy Old Men

[41:14] where Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau were old

[41:16] and then Burgess Meredith was very old.

[41:18] So it's like there's two levels of old jokes.

[41:20] There's I'm in my 70s old

[41:21] and there's I'm in my 80s old.

[41:23] Speaking of an old man grudge match.

[41:25] Or 60s old.

[41:25] Grumpy Old Men.

[41:26] Yeah, okay.

[41:27] It's a way better movie.

[41:29] But there's a movie where they were like,

[41:31] okay, this is Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon.

[41:33] They've worked together many times before.

[41:36] Odd Couple, Fortune Cookie, et cetera.

[41:38] They're both good at small-scale comedy,

[41:41] and we're going to do this as a small-scale comedy.

[41:44] There aren't going to be any jumping out of planes.

[41:46] Yeah, that's the thing.

[41:46] That movie deliberately was just like, no plot.

[41:49] They're just going to hang out together for a while.

[41:51] But, I mean, they were fighting for the love of a woman.

[41:53] No, no, but that was the minimal plot necessary to make a film.

[41:57] Yeah, well, you used to be able to make a movie like that.

[41:59] Now you need bigger stuff.

[42:00] Yep, whiz-bang.

[42:01] Jazz-mups.

[42:03] Jazz-mups.

[42:05] Let's move to final judgments quickly.

[42:08] whether this was a good bad movie, a bad bad movie,

[42:10] or a movie you kind of liked. Elliot, what do you got to say?

[42:12] I think it lives outside of our system.

[42:14] It wasn't good bad. It wasn't bad

[42:16] enough to be bad bad, but it wasn't good enough to be

[42:18] kind of liked. Yeah, I'm going to say

[42:20] I'm going to take a lead from this movie.

[42:22] It's a split decision on

[42:24] points.

[42:25] It came close to being a movie I kind of liked,

[42:28] but ultimately it was a bad bad movie.

[42:30] Okay. Elliot, what do you...

[42:31] I mean, I'm Elliot. You're looking at Stuart.

[42:34] Dan, have you gone

[42:36] person blind?

[42:38] I'm person blind in one eye.

[42:40] Yeah, I'm going to stick with bad, bad.

[42:44] All right.

[42:44] Yeah, there was just not enough Zazz or Zing or Pat.

[42:48] Moxie.

[42:49] Moxie.

[42:50] Absolutely no Moxie.

[42:52] Not enough Jizzam.

[42:54] That means the same thing, right?

[42:55] That's super gross.

[42:56] Before we move on, some quick plugs on behalf of our network of podcast friends,

[43:05] all things comedy

[43:06] first of all if you like

[43:09] comedy podcasts why not check out

[43:11] my dumb friends in which

[43:13] New York based comics Dan St. Germain

[43:15] and Sean Donnelly

[43:16] talk to their friends about the dumbest

[43:19] shit they've ever done topics range from

[43:21] selling candy to pay for a girlfriend's abortion

[43:23] to

[43:25] I'm not going to say that next thing

[43:27] past guests include

[43:29] Kirk Brownholer

[43:31] Mickey Glacier

[43:34] not gonna say that name and most recently the girls from broad city alana glazier and abby

[43:39] jacobson um and a funny group of people dan saint germain has an album bad at the good times that

[43:45] will be out on june the 10th and uh speaking of comedy albums just a reminder jackie cation's

[43:52] album this will make an excellent horcrux is now on itunes but moving on to flop house specific

[43:59] announcements oh i've got two of them one uh if you have a white sedan your lights are on

[44:06] with a license plate flphse uh first of all flop house crossover event on the last tuesday

[44:15] in april that's april 29th our fellow bad movie uh podcasters over at we hate movies

[44:22] we'll be doing a podcast on the clint eastwood and a chimp classic every which way but loose

[44:27] I thought it was an orangutan

[44:28] It is an orangutan

[44:30] You are correct

[44:32] I apologize

[44:34] I mixed up my great apes

[44:36] But moving on

[44:38] Apologize to the apes Dan

[44:40] They're right here

[44:41] Apologize to Clyde

[44:43] I'm sorry Clyde don't rip my face off

[44:46] That's what chimps do

[44:48] Dan you are an ape racist

[44:49] Orangutans arm wrestle you to death

[44:51] Orangutans slip through the chimney

[44:54] With a razor and then they slash your throat

[44:57] The point is, on April 29th, We Hate Movies are going to put out a podcast on every which way but loose.

[45:04] And then the first Saturday in May, that is May 3rd, we here at the Flophouse will drop an episode about the sequel, Any Which Way You Can.

[45:12] That's so much chimps, right, Dan?

[45:15] Too many chimps.

[45:16] I rang you, Tans.

[45:18] Thank you.

[45:18] Tans.

[45:19] We're going ape around here in New York, in podcast land.

[45:23] Fuck it, just keep going.

[45:25] We have another exciting announcement, right?

[45:27] On May the 10th, in beautiful Yonkers, New York,

[45:31] we will be doing our first live show

[45:33] since the untimely passing of the 92-wide Tribeca.

[45:36] At the Yonkers branch of the Alamo Drafthouse,

[45:39] we will be screening the 1992 film Sleepwalkers.

[45:43] Stephen King's Sleepwalkers.

[45:44] Just in time for Mother's Day.

[45:46] Yeah, it's about a mother-son team of incestuous werecats.

[45:49] As always, we'll have...

[45:52] That's not a joke.

[45:53] That's the entirety of the plot.

[45:55] what the movie's about.

[45:56] There's also a hero cat in it.

[45:57] Don't worry.

[45:58] We'll have an intro by friends

[46:00] at the I Love Bad Movie zine,

[46:02] and we will provide running commentary

[46:04] and riffs during the film.

[46:06] We're going to talk through the whole film.

[46:07] If you've been to one of our live events,

[46:08] you know it's not to be missed.

[46:10] If you've missed our live events,

[46:11] now's your chance to not miss it.

[46:14] Yeah, and by the time this posts,

[46:15] there will be a link to buy tickets

[46:18] up at the Elmore Drafthouse Yonkers site.

[46:21] And let's put a link on our site, too.

[46:23] A link on our site.

[46:24] Flophousepodcast.com.

[46:25] And Alamo Drafthouse.

[46:26] If you haven't been there before,

[46:27] you can order food and drinks during the movie,

[46:29] but you cannot talk during the movie.

[46:32] That's only for us.

[46:33] It's our thing.

[46:33] You can use your cell phone, right?

[46:35] No, you cannot use your cell phone.

[46:36] What?

[46:36] But it's a nice theater.

[46:38] But moving on.

[46:40] And what movie was it?

[46:41] Sleepwalkers?

[46:42] Sleepwalkers.

[46:43] Not Sleepwalk With Me,

[46:45] the Mike Paglia movie.

[46:46] No.

[46:46] We'll be talking over that, too.

[46:48] If you want to hear that story,

[46:51] listen to any episode of This American Life.

[46:53] Boom.

[46:54] Wham! So what was it? May 10th.

[46:56] Yeah, May 10th. Yonkers, Alamo Drafthouse,

[46:58] The Flophouse, live, Sleepwalkers,

[47:01] May 10th. So, moving on

[47:02] to letters.

[47:03] We have a letter here.

[47:05] It's titled,

[47:07] Letters. Is that the new fragrance

[47:10] from Calvin Klein, Letters?

[47:11] No song, but a creepy whisper.

[47:14] I don't have a song in me right now.

[47:16] That's good. We're running

[47:18] along. Running along.

[47:20] Running on empty.

[47:23] Running long, running with letters.

[47:26] First off, we have a letter titled Dream Recommendations.

[47:31] It's from Josh.

[47:32] I recommend good dreams.

[47:33] Last name with hell.

[47:34] Maybe sexy ones.

[47:35] Hey, floppers.

[47:36] Is it a Tommy Chong movie?

[47:37] No.

[47:38] Recent listener, but I've been binging over the last week.

[47:41] I've been binging over the last week, and it's Infiltrated My Dreams.

[47:46] I dreamt I was listening to a podcast where a cast of comedians were offering their summer movie recommendations.

[47:52] The floppers were there, of course.

[47:53] And while I don't remember all of their recommendations,

[47:55] I do remember that Stuart recommended One Direction, This Is Us,

[47:59] which I found hilarious.

[48:01] Keep up the good work.

[48:03] So, Stuart, you really like that movie, huh?

[48:06] Yeah, I think somebody goes crazy and, I don't know,

[48:10] rips off a ding-dong?

[48:12] Sounds about right.

[48:13] Wonka wonka.

[48:15] Yep.

[48:16] Just keep going.

[48:17] That's our Stuart.

[48:18] Wonka wonka.

[48:19] So, moving on.

[48:22] It's on the Muppets Chocolate Factory

[48:25] Email is titled

[48:26] Flops for everyone

[48:28] Hey floppers I just want to tell you how I came to be a fan

[48:31] Of your podcast and ask you a favor

[48:33] I was introduced to the podcast

[48:35] In the same way that most of your fans probably are

[48:37] In a dream

[48:38] By my mom

[48:39] Record scratch

[48:42] I feel good

[48:44] More specifically

[48:47] By my very conservative and very religious mom

[48:49] Apparently the first episode

[48:51] she listened to was, quote,

[48:53] not too bad, i.e.,

[48:55] not full of references to

[48:57] ding-dongs being ripped off or to adventures

[48:59] of the Great Bikini Sword.

[49:00] But since then, I think she's come to regret

[49:03] suggesting the podcast

[49:05] to her daughter and conservative

[49:07] and religious friends. Oh, I'm sorry.

[49:09] She still listens, though, to all the new

[49:11] ones and the back catalog.

[49:12] I feel bad I cursed so much in this episode now.

[49:15] I think your words that sound like other words

[49:17] and letter songs are enough to make her overlook

[49:19] any ding-dong references.

[49:21] so you're cool me not so much nope i'm the bad boy now the bad boy of podcasting she says now

[49:29] my favorite kick my mother's birthday is on april the 29th i know you want to say happy birthday to

[49:35] her i don't have much to offer you in exchange for this request other than to make you aware of a new

[49:40] demographic 49 year old moms who have a good sense of humor keep on flopping elizabeth that's first

[49:46] and last name withheld.

[49:47] Not even the real first name.

[49:49] If there's a mother out there with a birthday

[49:52] on April 29th with a daughter

[49:53] whose, I guess, middle name is Elizabeth?

[49:56] Thanks for listening.

[49:58] Happy birthday, thanks for listening,

[49:59] and thanks for recommending us to people.

[50:02] Sorry that we are

[50:04] not the wholesome podcast

[50:06] that you thought we would be.

[50:07] I think it's the drinking,

[50:10] Elliot, I don't know.

[50:11] Well, I mean, me and Dan.

[50:13] Yeah, I just drink water.

[50:15] We have devil water inside of us.

[50:18] Yeah, you strain chicken juice

[50:20] into some kind of carafe

[50:22] that you sip from.

[50:23] That's how you get all the powers of a chicken.

[50:24] That's how I peck at things.

[50:26] And I can count and win at tic-tac-toe.

[50:29] And I can do that

[50:31] strosek dance.

[50:32] You're really good at eating small

[50:35] pebbles that help you digest.

[50:36] For my gizzard.

[50:38] And if your head's chopped off, you'll probably be okay for a little while, right?

[50:41] Yeah, about 5-10 minutes.

[50:43] And you don't want to be sleeping next to me when this one comes up.

[50:46] You will be awoken.

[50:47] The point is, happy birthday.

[50:50] Happy birthday, mom, to another person.

[50:53] So, moving on, yet on the same theme.

[50:56] Subject of moms.

[50:57] This letter is titled, Stockholm Syndrome.

[51:00] Dear Flopman, when my grandson first introduced me to your podcast, I hated it.

[51:07] I am surprised that people are trying to reach out.

[51:12] Is this the grandma doesn't understand guy all over again?

[51:15] Being 74 years old and not really the best driver,

[51:21] my grandson had to help me move houses from one English county to another.

[51:26] That was nice of him to do.

[51:27] In this roughly four-hour drive,

[51:28] I was subject to the incessant ramplings of the three madmen

[51:32] about even madder films.

[51:35] It was hell.

[51:36] Elliot reminded me of an obnoxious seven-year-old who wouldn't shut up.

[51:39] That's pretty accurate.

[51:40] And Stuart, well, I didn't think he was quite the gentleman.

[51:43] You were wrong.

[51:45] He is quite the distinguished gentleman.

[51:47] Eddie Murphy.

[51:47] I felt indifferent towards Dan.

[51:49] However, as time went by, I began to find Elliot Slater's songs charming and adorable.

[51:59] People love my songs.

[52:00] Stuart's odd, deep voice endearing.

[52:02] And Dan, well, now he reminds me of my old college boyfriend.

[52:06] I think I've developed Stockholm Syndrome for your podcast.

[52:09] It is the only podcast I listen to, and even when I try to listen to others, I can't.

[52:13] They pale in comparison.

[52:14] You remind me of my sons and make lonely nights away from my family more entertaining.

[52:18] Oh, that's very sweet.

[52:19] So with grannies like me in mind, what are your favorite movies about or featuring elderly people?

[52:24] With love, Margaret Lastin withheld.

[52:26] P.S. I recently adopted a cat and have named her Flop.

[52:29] Keep making great podcasts.

[52:31] That's very sweet.

[52:32] Thank you for listening.

[52:33] I'm glad you overcame your initial disgust.

[52:36] It continued.

[52:38] Well, movies about old people.

[52:39] Well, there's a movie called Grudge Match.

[52:40] I don't know if you're familiar.

[52:41] Elderly people, I think, is a tough thing to determine.

[52:46] I mean, like, Nebraska was great with Bruce Dern.

[52:49] I mean, we mentioned Grumpy Old Men.

[52:51] Like, that's a movie I genuinely enjoy a lot.

[52:53] I mean, it's hard to go wrong with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.

[52:56] Tokyo Story is a classic, but that's a pretty sad movie.

[52:59] I mean, like, yeah, Make Way for Tomorrow, again, is also a classic, but also sad.

[53:02] The problem is, a lot of movies about old people fall into one of two categories.

[53:07] either sad movies or, like, away from her, you know,

[53:11] or, like, goofy movies about old people

[53:15] feeling their oats again and doing young people stuff.

[53:17] But you also got your Clint Eastwood movies

[53:21] about, like, fuck you, young people, I'm tough.

[53:23] Yeah, like Gran Torino, that kind of thing.

[53:25] Yeah, but also, you know, like, your absolute powers

[53:28] or whatever, where it's like...

[53:30] Yeah, your blood works, your space cowboys.

[53:32] An elderly gentleman still kicking ass.

[53:35] I don't know if I would...

[53:36] And forgetting names.

[53:37] I don't know if I'd classify him as elderly,

[53:39] but I think an older man,

[53:41] like with Terrence Stamp,

[53:43] what is that?

[53:43] The Limey?

[53:44] The Limey, yeah.

[53:45] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[53:46] That's a good...

[53:47] And it's two actors who were bigger in the 70s.

[53:52] Yeah.

[53:53] I mean, the Limey uses scenes from his older movie in it.

[53:57] Yeah, it was a good Peter Fonda performance.

[53:59] And there's certainly a lot of good movies about aging out there.

[54:02] I mean, they weren't...

[54:04] They were at most late middle age when they made this movie,

[54:07] but a movie that I recommended before that I really enjoyed,

[54:10] Robin and Marion, was sort of a movie about an older version.

[54:13] I just saw that recently for the first time.

[54:15] That's an interesting movie.

[54:16] That's a movie with a weird tone to it

[54:19] because it feels like they wanted it to be a comedy

[54:21] and then it stopped being a comedy at a certain point in the production.

[54:24] And it has maybe the saddest action scene I've ever seen

[54:27] where Robin and Little John have a kind of pathetic fist fight

[54:32] with a couple of guys on top of a wall

[54:34] and it takes them forever to climb up a wall

[54:36] but there's something like

[54:38] more real about it like yeah it would take these guys

[54:40] a long time and they're not as tough as they once were

[54:42] and they're all disillusioned

[54:43] the stuff with King Richard in that is fantastic

[54:46] yeah

[54:46] so I guess there are a number of good

[54:50] movies about older folk

[54:51] there's a 30's movie

[54:54] called Star Witness that I'm a fan of

[54:56] but I don't know if you'll be able to find it somewhere about an old man

[54:58] who is going to

[55:00] testify against the mob, even though it puts his family

[55:02] at risk. And the old man

[55:04] is a Civil War veteran, and

[55:06] the movie's from the early 30s, and there's just something

[55:08] amazing to me about that.

[55:09] Thank you for

[55:12] listening. I'm surprised that you're still

[55:14] listening, but thank you. Thank you, we appreciate it.

[55:16] But the last

[55:18] letter of the evening

[55:20] is titled

[55:21] Podcast 147

[55:24] Devil's Something.

[55:25] I just wanted to tell you that I so enjoyed myself

[55:28] at exercise with earphones and iPhone

[55:30] listening to the one about the young people

[55:32] on a quest to Russia to find out what happened

[55:34] to a previous group of dead explorers.

[55:36] I was indeed laughing out loud

[55:38] disturbing other senior exercisers.

[55:40] This is a lot of themes in these letters.

[55:42] I think Elliot has missed his calling

[55:44] as a jingle writer, but not a jingle singer.

[55:46] Oh, wow.

[55:47] This letter is from Shelley, last name withheld,

[55:50] Stuart's mom.

[55:51] Burn. Oh, man. Good one, mom.

[55:54] I got burned by Mrs. Wellington.

[55:55] Mm-hmm. Well, I didn't even...

[55:58] I only had to write her like three emails to get her to write it.

[56:00] And I noticed she didn't mention her son at all.

[56:04] No, she doesn't care that much about me.

[56:07] I think it's fair to say that my voice is not one of my top talents.

[56:13] Yeah, but I'm glad that you're getting to go through senior exercise.

[56:18] Did you know we were going to do grudge match when you put together this almost entirely senior themed letters column?

[56:23] There's a little thing called Kismet, Elliot, and it happened tonight.

[56:27] Kissing Mr. Met.

[56:28] So it was an older bag of letters

[56:31] written on parchment paper.

[56:33] Yeah, with gold pens.

[56:35] Yeah, it was in cuneiform.

[56:37] They went to CUNY?

[56:40] I don't know if it's the City University of New York.

[56:41] So those are letters.

[56:44] They're a thing that people write to us.

[56:46] We're done with that segment.

[56:47] Why are you still talking about it?

[56:49] The past is past, Dan.

[56:50] We're about the future now.

[56:52] Space letters written in space by aliens

[56:55] on space paper.

[56:57] They look like hieroglyphics because they're the guawul from Stargate.

[57:02] Yeah, so far we've been able to translate this letter.

[57:05] It's a cookbook.

[57:06] It says, humans are delicious, signed cookbook guy.

[57:13] I was hoping you would say the next segment is recommendations.

[57:17] Is that the next segment, Dan?

[57:20] Is this where we recommend movies we actually enjoyed?

[57:22] This is that segment.

[57:23] Now we just recommend some oldster movies.

[57:27] Let's recommend some not-so-oldster movies.

[57:29] I mean, the movie I'm recommending is old, so...

[57:32] But is it...

[57:32] Okay.

[57:33] It's not old...

[57:33] So what is that movie?

[57:35] I'll start.

[57:35] So, considering this was a boxing movie,

[57:38] I thought I'd recommend a better boxing movie.

[57:40] So I wanted to recommend a noir from 1949

[57:44] called The Setup,

[57:46] directed by Robert Wise and starring Robert Ryan.

[57:49] And it's a movie that is told in real time

[57:52] before that was a...

[57:54] kind of taken up too much by the people as a gimmick.

[57:57] about a boxer who is a constant loser

[58:01] and his manager has basically taken money for a fix

[58:06] but not told him

[58:07] because he's so sure that Robert Ryan's going to lose this fight

[58:10] and unfortunately things go a little better for Robert Ryan

[58:14] which means they're going to go a lot worse for Robert Ryan

[58:17] and he's going to become a victim of this setup

[58:19] and it's a taut, tight little,

[58:21] less I think around an hour and 15 minute movie

[58:25] told in real time about a boxer

[58:27] going into a match not knowing

[58:28] what trouble he's about to enter into

[58:30] and the repercussions thereof.

[58:32] And it's a nice little movie

[58:34] from when Robert Wise was making

[58:36] kind of short, tight, thriller-type movies

[58:40] before he started making stuff like

[58:41] The Sound of Music.

[58:42] The setup.

[58:44] I'd like to recommend a movie that I saw.

[58:49] It's in theaters now.

[58:50] It's called Under the Skin,

[58:54] directed by Jonathan Glazier,

[58:56] who made Sexy Beast

[58:58] and Birth, both of which

[59:00] are interesting, good

[59:02] movies to one degree or another, but

[59:04] I think neither really

[59:06] measures up to Under the Skin,

[59:08] which I think is kind of an amazing

[59:10] movie. I don't

[59:12] want to say too much about it. No spoilers, dude.

[59:14] It stars Scarlett Johansson.

[59:16] It's based on a Stephen King book

[59:18] about a town that gets trapped under the skin.

[59:20] Under an enormous skin.

[59:22] It's terrifying. I imagine the ending

[59:24] will be stupid.

[59:25] no it's it's it's i don't i think that it's out there enough that it's not spoilers and

[59:30] it's not really spoilers to say that scarlett johansson is not a human character in it

[59:36] and um she's a robot you a byzantine woman you see um it's it's kind of a character study where

[59:46] you see humanity through non-human eyes and you feel how alien it must see to seem to an alien

[59:54] presence so it's like an artsy version of femalian or or yeah that's basically species dude

[1:00:00] except femalian didn't kill people honestly like it feels like kind of like a horror movie version

[1:00:06] of upstream color although that like doesn't even really sell it either because like to call it a

[1:00:12] horror movie i think pigeonholes it pigeonholes it a little bit uh but it is genuinely disquieting

[1:00:19] It's a movie that does not fully explain

[1:00:22] everything that goes on in it.

[1:00:24] As Joe Bob Briggs would say,

[1:00:25] what kind of foos are in it?

[1:00:26] Chicken foo, blender foo?

[1:00:28] I mean, you can understand everything that goes on

[1:00:32] in the movie pretty easily,

[1:00:33] but the movie doesn't feed anything to you.

[1:00:37] So if you're hungry, don't go see the movie.

[1:00:40] Get a hamburger, then go see Under the Skin.

[1:00:44] but i think the movie does uh sort of make you view humanity kind of in a different light like

[1:00:50] from as in from an outsider's light it makes you makes you think about what it is to be a person

[1:00:56] and makes you think about like the differences between men and women like it's very hypnotic

[1:01:00] in a way that is not boring it's kind of freighted with meeting like there's a bunch of uh kind of

[1:01:08] blank spaces in the movie that aren't blank because you're really filling them with your own

[1:01:12] thoughts about various things.

[1:01:15] I will warn people that

[1:01:17] as I said, it is a disquieting movie

[1:01:19] and there are a couple things that could

[1:01:20] upset people. There's an attempted

[1:01:23] rape scene in the movie. There's a scene

[1:01:25] where

[1:01:26] that involves

[1:01:28] a kind of casual

[1:01:31] everyday horror of

[1:01:32] something going very wrong very

[1:01:35] quickly that involves

[1:01:36] a baby.

[1:01:38] So if either of those things seem like

[1:01:41] something that would upset you greatly maybe you wouldn't want to go see the movie maybe go see the

[1:01:46] lego movie yeah but it's a very good movie so i recommend the lego movie is a very good i'm not

[1:01:51] saying that's a bad choice yeah no no no uh so i'm gonna stick with this theme of boxing and aliens

[1:01:58] movie called boxing it's called just fucking with you i'm gonna recommend a movie called the raid

[1:02:04] two uh the sequel to an earlier stewart recommendation of the raid uh this one's

[1:02:09] directed by gareth evans again it is a continuation of the story of the which there was very little

[1:02:17] of the first story of a guy who wanted to punch everyone

[1:02:20] uh but this this movie continues the story but it takes it outside of the like the strict confines

[1:02:27] of the housing block uh the character the hero of the first movie rama switches in a way switches

[1:02:34] roles in that he is

[1:02:36] basically pushed into going

[1:02:38] undercover.

[1:02:39] And it leads to

[1:02:42] a shitload of fights.

[1:02:43] There are bad guys known

[1:02:46] only as Baseball Batman and

[1:02:48] Hammer Girl and

[1:02:50] The Assassin. And like a backup dancer for

[1:02:52] Hammer. And exactly.

[1:02:54] Like the baseball theory is an old boy.

[1:02:56] There is.

[1:02:57] This movie is shockingly

[1:03:00] violent.

[1:03:01] It is very gory.

[1:03:04] Just like the first one, but more so, you're saying.

[1:03:06] More so, and it's also very long.

[1:03:08] It's, I think, two and a half hours long.

[1:03:10] But it is, I mean, the action is just so well done,

[1:03:14] and it's so intense that by the end of the movie,

[1:03:18] just like the first one, you're going to feel exhausted.

[1:03:21] And it's just beautifully shot and well-acted.

[1:03:25] It's awesome.

[1:03:25] So go see it.

[1:03:26] I don't know where it's,

[1:03:27] it's only playing in a couple places around the U.S. right now,

[1:03:29] but I think it's going to be.

[1:03:31] Get a wider release and then DVD, you know.

[1:03:33] I don't know where he's playing.

[1:03:35] I don't give a shit.

[1:03:35] Just watch it when it comes into your eyes.

[1:03:37] Make a wish.

[1:03:38] Close your eyes and maybe it'll show up.

[1:03:40] Dust off that monkey spa.

[1:03:43] You've probably got a finger or two.

[1:03:44] I didn't know it was our responsibility to direct people to specific theaters.

[1:03:47] Let me open up the listings here.

[1:03:49] Hold on.

[1:03:49] Let's see.

[1:03:51] Fucking Elliot's.

[1:03:51] You have to take a fucking DeLorean back in time to watch.

[1:03:53] You just get a DVD, dude.

[1:03:54] You've got to use one of those sex-powered time machines we talked about.

[1:03:57] You've got to make love in the fucking engine room to power that Zeppelin.

[1:04:03] I guess there is an engine room in a Zeppelin

[1:04:06] I don't know

[1:04:07] Anything that has a

[1:04:09] Anything with a large engine has an engine room

[1:04:11] Are you saying that Emmanuel was lying to me?

[1:04:13] They don't have one of those?

[1:04:14] Yeah, when Emmanuel in a Zeppelin

[1:04:16] They go down to that room that has a bunch of

[1:04:19] Tubes that twist around

[1:04:21] Tubes that twist around

[1:04:24] It's like Brazil

[1:04:24] And they did Emmanuel's erotic Hindenburg

[1:04:27] Turns out what crashed it was sex

[1:04:30] Oh, the boomanity

[1:04:31] um anyway i hurt i hurt myself i apologize to the seniors listening to this uh before we wrap up i'm

[1:04:38] gonna uh i want to do a quick plug uh for the people in new york and brooklyn if you have a

[1:04:44] chance on may 4th uh it's a sunday night please come down to charlene's bar where they are

[1:04:49] celebrating their fifth anniversary uh and i will be drinking there i'm sure i'll probably convince

[1:04:55] at least one other flopper to be there drinking probably the one who doesn't have a baby yeah

[1:05:00] probably the non-baby

[1:05:01] have or Dan

[1:05:01] so come on down

[1:05:03] to Charlene's Bar

[1:05:04] for the anniversary

[1:05:05] and if I can have a plug

[1:05:06] coming out the day

[1:05:07] we recorded this

[1:05:08] but this episode

[1:05:09] won't air for another

[1:05:10] little bit

[1:05:11] I have a story

[1:05:13] in a comic book

[1:05:14] called Superior Foes

[1:05:15] of Spider-Man

[1:05:16] number 11

[1:05:17] I have an eight page

[1:05:18] story in there

[1:05:19] about the looter

[1:05:20] everyone's favorite

[1:05:21] Spider-Man villain

[1:05:22] who gets his strength

[1:05:23] from meteor gas

[1:05:24] so

[1:05:25] I don't think

[1:05:26] there's a lot of crossover

[1:05:27] between Flophouse listeners

[1:05:28] and comic book purchasers

[1:05:29] No, not a big amount.

[1:05:30] So, The Superior Foes of Spider-Man number 11.

[1:05:32] Check it out.

[1:05:33] I wrote some of it.

[1:05:33] That's awesome.

[1:05:35] That's awesome, guys.

[1:05:36] I'm glad we all got stuff going on.

[1:05:38] Yeah, we're busy dudes.

[1:05:39] Well, I mean, we did.

[1:05:40] You don't have anything.

[1:05:41] I mean, I got that thing that we're all doing together.

[1:05:44] Yeah, but that doesn't count.

[1:05:44] We cancel each other out on that.

[1:05:46] Okay.

[1:05:46] I mean, you're baking a lot of bread recently.

[1:05:51] Yeah, you're working your way through the bread alphabet.

[1:05:53] Maybe let's end this Flophouse before we have to talk more about Dan's alphabet bread obsession.

[1:05:59] I'm not fucking baking bread

[1:06:03] in the shape of all the letters

[1:06:04] I can't wait to see the fucking evidence

[1:06:07] dungeon that's left behind after that

[1:06:08] all the way from aardvark loaf

[1:06:10] to zebra slices

[1:06:12] every bread in the bread alphabet

[1:06:15] alright

[1:06:16] well thanks guys

[1:06:18] for the flop house

[1:06:19] I've been Dan McCoy

[1:06:21] I'm still Stuart Wellington

[1:06:23] and I will always be Elliot Kalin

[1:06:26] no matter how hard I try

[1:06:27] goodnight everyone

[1:06:28] Hey, you're worth it.

[1:06:30] Thanks, buddy.

[1:06:31] Are we ready to do this?

[1:06:43] I'm ready, man.

[1:06:44] You want to mumble some more?

[1:06:45] Well, mumble as you're not, Sipio.

[1:06:46] Pull your drink down and start talking.

[1:06:49] Roman General Sipio.

[1:06:53] Always wasting time zipping drinks.

[1:06:56] Three, two.

[1:06:58] Thank you.

The Flop House: Episode #150 - Grudge Match

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