The Flop House: Episode #152 - Easy Rider: The Ride Back

[0:00] For all those that wondered what happened decades after Easy Rider and decades before Easy Rider,

[0:06] there's Easy Rider, The Ride Back.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:39] Hey there, Dan McCoy. I am Stuart Wellington.

[0:43] Hey there, Stuart Wellington robot. I'm Elliot Kalin.

[0:46] Uh, wait, I can't do a robot impression. Go, Dan.

[0:51] It goes like this. Beep boop. Beep boop. I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:55] Yeah, and then you hop like this in a monotone.

[0:58] Okay, so wait. Is this like an improv class?

[1:01] Yeah, look, we're just trying to teach you how to be a robot.

[1:04] Yeah, so can you be a baby robot? Beep boop. I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:09] I'm baby bot Stuart Wellington, I think is what I'm saying.

[1:12] We're just trying to teach you to do the one impression anyone of any age knows how to do.

[1:16] Which is what?

[1:17] A robot.

[1:18] Oh, right.

[1:19] Beep boop.

[1:20] Get with the program.

[1:21] Here's how you do a robot. I'm Stuart Wellington. Beep boop.

[1:23] Here's how you do an alien. I'm Stuart Wellington. Bleep glorp. It's easy.

[1:27] Yeah. For more like this, send in for Elliot's pamphlet.

[1:32] Easy impressions even you can do.

[1:36] First you have to draw a turtle, and then Elliot will teach you how to impress one.

[1:41] And if you don't draw the turtle well enough?

[1:43] Then you have to draw a pirate.

[1:44] Oh, okay. That's not that bad.

[1:46] And if you don't draw the pirate well enough, I cannot help you.

[1:49] No. So this is a movie.

[1:54] Wow. We've done this over 150 times.

[1:58] So this is a podcast.

[2:00] A podcast.

[2:01] You're hearing it in your ears. It's called The Flophouse.

[2:03] The Flophouse.

[2:04] Where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[2:06] Well, I want to say that one thing.

[2:08] If my voice sounds a little off tonight and possibly more annoying, it's because I'm getting over a cold.

[2:12] Or maybe it sounds better.

[2:14] Or it sounds better.

[2:15] And everyone will keep infecting you.

[2:16] Sexier and very whitish.

[2:18] But if you are hearing me wrong, it's not your headphones. It's my voice.

[2:22] Yeah, if it's not a normal Elliot sound, just speed it up a little bit.

[2:25] So it's all Chipmunk's sound.

[2:26] Yeah, make it more high-pitched and chipmunky. A little porky-piggier.

[2:29] It's not the coffee. It's the bunk.

[2:31] It's a Christmas in July reference.

[2:34] We watched a movie called...

[2:36] Did we watch a movie, Sam?

[2:38] I'm still not sure.

[2:39] I don't know what we watched.

[2:41] Easy Rider.

[2:42] The Ride Back.

[2:43] What?

[2:44] I can't remember whether it's The Ride Back or The Ride Home.

[2:46] It's Easy Rider, The Ride Back.

[2:48] This is a...

[2:49] Sequel.

[2:50] I would say an unauthorized sequel to Easy Rider,

[2:52] except the guy who made it bought the rights to Easy Rider.

[2:55] So it is technically an authorized sequel by the owner of the rights to Easy Rider.

[2:59] Spiritual sequel.

[3:00] I will say a large part of the credit for us doing this movie

[3:05] comes from Nathan Rabin of The Dissolved tweeting directly at us

[3:09] and suggesting that we do this movie.

[3:10] And saying, hey, do this movie.

[3:12] I double-dog dare you.

[3:13] Which I'm super glad he did, because this was awesome.

[3:16] This was a... wow.

[3:18] I just got to say, if you're a normal fan out there,

[3:21] being like, oh, they didn't do the movie I suggested, well, tough.

[3:25] We're a bunch of star fuckers here.

[3:27] If you're a minor Internet celebrity,

[3:29] or if you're a major Internet celebrity,

[3:31] or a major normal celebrity,

[3:33] why are you being so mean to our listeners?

[3:35] Look, if you write for The Dissolved and you recommend a movie for us,

[3:38] we'll watch it.

[3:39] We're going to prick up our ears, man.

[3:41] We should have...

[3:43] I don't know what that means exactly, but I don't like the sound of it.

[3:46] It's a saying.

[3:47] It's a saying.

[3:48] Anyway, Dick Ears McCoy is...

[3:50] My point is, if there are other semi-famous to famous people out there

[3:54] who want to tweet at us,

[3:56] maybe we'll have a star fuckers month.

[3:58] Yeah, sure, why not?

[3:59] Is this a contest?

[4:00] Recommend a movie to us.

[4:01] Yeah, it's a contest.

[4:02] It's a new contest we're doing.

[4:03] If you... wait, what?

[4:05] Peter Scolari wants to write in with a movie for us.

[4:07] We'll watch it.

[4:08] But you've got to verify yourself.

[4:10] You've got to take a picture of yourself, Peter Scolari.

[4:12] That day's newspaper.

[4:13] That day's newspaper.

[4:14] Yeah.

[4:15] And a picture of you.

[4:16] And a picture of you.

[4:17] Not a Time family, Peter Scolari.

[4:19] We don't want Maniac Mansion, Peter Scolari.

[4:21] We want Girls, Peter Scolari.

[4:23] That's right.

[4:24] But the point is, Easy Rider...

[4:26] Is he on Maniac Mansion?

[4:27] I don't know.

[4:28] That's a Nintendo game.

[4:29] No, he was in the direct-to-video Honey, We Shrunk Our Somethings.

[4:32] I mean, I...

[4:33] I think it was the Honey, We Shrunk the Kids...

[4:35] I know most from Newhart.

[4:36] ...TV show.

[4:37] That was the...

[4:38] Not from Bosom Buddies?

[4:39] To me, Newhart was the pinnacle of Scolari.

[4:41] Scolaridom.

[4:42] Tom Hanks, I disagree.

[4:43] Scolari, maybe.

[4:45] Scolariana.

[4:46] Sweeping the nation.

[4:47] It was him and his brother, Ghost, that attacked that judge.

[4:51] Yeah, the Scolari brothers.

[4:52] I gave them the chair.

[4:53] Then they attacked me as a judge when Lewis...

[4:57] What's his name?

[4:58] Lewis Tully.

[4:59] Lewis Tully was defending the G-Busters.

[5:01] The G-Busters.

[5:02] Yeah.

[5:03] Wow, it took me a long time to realize where Stuart was going with that Scolari-Ghost thing.

[5:07] Really?

[5:08] You're saying that that's not the first thing you think whenever you hear Peter Scolari's name?

[5:11] Because it is for me.

[5:13] The Scolari brothers.

[5:14] I gave them the chair.

[5:15] So you think he's the skinny Scolari brother, though, right?

[5:18] Of course, he's not the big fat one.

[5:19] Come on.

[5:20] You sound a lot more if a cabbie was a judge than the actual judge.

[5:23] Yeah, I guess so.

[5:24] I remember seeing those puppets when I took a tour of Industrial Light and Magic,

[5:28] and it was very exciting to me.

[5:30] All this stuff from movie history, and you know what hit me the most was the Scolari brothers puppets

[5:35] and the painting of Ego of Carpathia.

[5:37] The Scolari brothers.

[5:38] For some reason, I realized I loved Ghostbusters 2 so much.

[5:40] And you were like, no, no, no, David, don't get near that painting.

[5:44] Well, I mean, the Scolari brothers were definitely the best effect in Ghostbusters 2 as far as I'm concerned.

[5:49] The most charming effect.

[5:51] Yeah, I don't know.

[5:52] I have a soft spot for that mink coat that starts attacking its owner.

[5:55] All right.

[5:56] I was going to say the bathtub ooze thing.

[5:57] Yeah.

[5:58] Well, you like that it reaches for a topless Sigourney Weaver.

[6:00] Yeah, totally.

[6:01] Anyway.

[6:02] Anyway, the one movie we watched.

[6:03] Easy Rider to the Ride Back.

[6:04] We watched Easy Rider to the Ride Back, which is, like we were saying, it's almost, it's so, it's been a long time.

[6:09] So it's hot on the heels of the original.

[6:11] Yeah, it's only 40 years after the original movie.

[6:14] And it may seem that we're killing a lot of time, but this movie defies.

[6:18] This movie is about killing time.

[6:20] This is, it is a long time, it's been a long time since we watched, maybe ever, such a low budget amateurish movie for the flop house.

[6:28] Even like, what was the movie we watched about how patriotism was destroying, how America was destroying patriotism in the church?

[6:36] Was it The Last Chance at Courage?

[6:38] The Last Chance at Courage.

[6:39] Even that.

[6:40] Yeah.

[6:41] Looked more professional than this.

[6:42] We might have to go back to the Simon Fisher era and memory starring Billy Zane to find such a low budget film.

[6:49] But this was, let's try to explain.

[6:51] Episode two.

[6:52] So this is for everyone who saw.

[6:54] True believers.

[6:55] Everyone who saw Easy Rider, the movie about Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda riding on their motorcycles around dealing drugs and are eventually, at the end they are.

[7:03] Getting shot.

[7:04] At the end they are murdered by two guys in a truck.

[7:06] And anyone who saw the movie was like, but what happened next?

[7:09] Yeah.

[7:10] After they were murdered.

[7:11] Not what happened next, what happened several years later.

[7:13] What happened next and what happened 40 years later and also 25 years earlier.

[7:19] Well yeah, anybody who watched the original Easy Rider and you saw the guy driving around with the Captain America outfit and you're like, man America used to be great, wasn't it?

[7:28] Well that's what this movie.

[7:30] Where did we go wrong?

[7:31] What's so weird about this movie is that it's like this movie saw the first movie, which I guess is about the American dream shattered and we need a more hippie-ish view of freedom.

[7:41] This movie is like, allow us to correct that last movie.

[7:45] Actually the great times in America were the olden days.

[7:48] Yeah, all that counterculture stuff, no thank you.

[7:50] What we need are more veterans.

[7:52] What we need is more Vietnam vets.

[7:54] And World War II vets.

[7:56] And World War II vets.

[7:57] But I think Easy Rider was not.

[7:59] And veterinarians.

[8:00] I think people in Easy Rider were against World War II.

[8:02] I would assume they were taking an anti-Vietnam stance.

[8:05] No, no, they hated the Jews.

[8:07] Wow.

[8:08] Peter Fonda, a real anti-Jew cinematographer.

[8:13] Wow, so you were originally called Anti-Semitic Rider.

[8:15] Yeah.

[8:16] So anyway, let's explain what's going on today.

[8:20] So the movie opens with a long VO and a lot of motorcycle footage of the guy who was also the co-writer of the film

[8:28] playing Peter Fonda's character's brother, was it?

[8:32] Morgan.

[8:33] Morgan.

[8:34] Yeah, he's like a Peter Fonda like-a-look.

[8:36] He is a like-a-look.

[8:38] He's a real like-a-look.

[8:39] And that he would like it if he looked more like Peter Fonda.

[8:42] That's why he got his hair black.

[8:44] If you want Peter Fonda to come to your child's birthday,

[8:47] you look up on the yellow pages, the like-a-look section.

[8:50] Let's say your grandma's turning 90 and her eyesight's not that good.

[8:54] She loves Peter Fonda from like Uli's Gold or some shit.

[8:57] Sure.

[8:58] And she wants him to come to her party.

[9:00] You hire this guy and she can't tell that he kind of barely looks like Peter Fonda if you're squinting at him.

[9:06] And if he's wearing Peter Fonda's clothes.

[9:08] Yeah, which he is.

[9:10] Which he is.

[9:11] So he has a voiceover about how he's the brother of Peter Fonda's character.

[9:15] He doesn't like what happened to him.

[9:17] He got shot on a day with clear blue skies just like 9-11.

[9:21] Yeah, he mentions that the shot that killed his brother came out of nowhere in the blue sky just like 9-11.

[9:26] I mean, I can see that parallel.

[9:28] And what happened to America.

[9:30] And he is living in Mexico, I guess, as a drug dealer.

[9:34] And his sister says, hey, our father is dying.

[9:38] You need to come where it's his birthday.

[9:40] No, he's not dying.

[9:42] It's his birthday.

[9:43] You need to come see him.

[9:44] And he's like, I don't want to.

[9:45] I've got problems with that old man.

[9:47] This scene takes place in a shed full of motorcycle equipment.

[9:51] Yeah, motorcycle memorabilia that all has a red iron cross on it.

[9:55] Because their dad started a motorcycle gang that uses a red iron cross.

[10:00] that Iron Cross is its symbol.

[10:02] Anyway, they argue, okay, here's a rule about this movie.

[10:05] No dialogue scene is allowed to be more

[10:07] than two and a half minutes long,

[10:08] or if that, two minutes long.

[10:10] Yet every motorcycle riding scene

[10:12] is roughly 75 to 85 minutes long.

[10:14] Yes, but the corollary of that is

[10:16] even though the dialogue scenes are two minutes long,

[10:19] each two-minute-long dialogue scene

[10:21] will mention 16 characters that you have not heard of before.

[10:25] We were talking about how every dialogue scene

[10:27] in this movie is like the Janet Leigh pickup scene

[10:30] in The Manchurian Candidate,

[10:31] where the dialogue makes no sense,

[10:33] and you're like, did I miss a scene?

[10:35] Like, they must be talking in code, what is this?

[10:38] Is there a subtext here that I'm not getting

[10:40] that explains everything?

[10:42] Every scene is like a Matryoshka doll,

[10:44] like a Russian nesting doll

[10:46] filled with names that I don't know.

[10:47] Or a Rorschach test.

[10:48] Like, let's let the audience figure out what's going on.

[10:50] If we have the key book that is the key to this book cipher.

[10:55] Yeah, they should have sent us a coded message

[10:58] that told us what page to start on in our cipher code.

[11:02] Oh boy, then this would be like Rules of the Game.

[11:05] Oh yeah, it'll be The Godfather.

[11:08] So they go to a what, like a Mexican restaurant

[11:10] or something?

[11:11] They go to, it seems to be a Mexican restaurant.

[11:12] They get bottled up nachos.

[11:15] They go to like a Mexican restaurant run by a drug baron.

[11:18] Yep.

[11:19] And the guy sells his drugs and comes back,

[11:21] and his sister and he get into a fight.

[11:23] Over some kind of off-brand bottle of Patron, I guess.

[11:26] Yeah, because he won't go see their dad,

[11:29] and he's mad that the dad always liked

[11:32] his brother Virgil more.

[11:35] Virgil being another character who we never see

[11:38] in the present, but appears in a lot of flashbacks.

[11:40] The sister goes back and argues with the dad,

[11:44] and the main character, Morgan,

[11:47] tells his nude girlfriend in the,

[11:50] probably, I would say the best scene in the movie

[11:51] because there's a nude girlfriend in it,

[11:53] tells her he has to go.

[11:54] She is totally nude balls.

[11:55] She's totally nude balls.

[11:57] She is totally naked-ocious.

[11:59] Yeah, she totally raises this guy's value.

[12:02] Like before, we're like, who's this weird old dude?

[12:04] But now we're like, man, there's gotta be something

[12:06] going on with this guy.

[12:06] Like, who's this 65-year-old dude?

[12:08] Well, he's got a 23-year-old shirt,

[12:10] whatever that shit is.

[12:11] Who's this walking jerky stick in a sleeveless shirt

[12:14] and Peter Fonda's jacket?

[12:15] Well, this nude lady seems to like him.

[12:17] So maybe there's something about her.

[12:17] Maybe it's because he has a beautiful,

[12:20] long, black, flowing hair that is discongruous

[12:24] with the rest of his hair.

[12:26] With his gnarled, tree-trunk face.

[12:28] Yeah.

[12:31] Here's the thing.

[12:32] Everyone in this movie is older.

[12:34] Yeah, didn't you think he was leaving

[12:35] for like an ant mood or something?

[12:39] My people have to help the forces of light fight Sauron.

[12:42] Didn't they move slow enough?

[12:43] Oh!

[12:44] Anyway, he decides he's gonna motorcycle back after all.

[12:48] He's gonna take a long trip.

[12:51] In honor of his dead brother, kind of.

[12:53] Kind of.

[12:54] But also to see his dad mostly.

[12:55] His brother who died 45 years ago.

[12:57] But everyone is still getting over it.

[13:01] Wait, who's his brother?

[13:02] Peter Fonda.

[13:03] Oh shit!

[13:04] From the first movie.

[13:05] Yeah, exactly.

[13:06] If this is-

[13:07] From the beginning of the movie, right?

[13:08] Get on the bus, Stu.

[13:09] Sorry.

[13:10] Come on.

[13:11] Directed by Spike Lee.

[13:11] Exactly.

[13:12] It's the Million Man March.

[13:13] The bus that guy serves nachos out of.

[13:16] We haven't gotten to the guy who served four people

[13:18] out of a bus that doesn't work anymore

[13:20] and gets a big money transaction,

[13:21] a good transfusion from Peter Fonda brother.

[13:24] But anyway-

[13:25] And then we don't see him again.

[13:26] From Peter Fonda-baba.

[13:27] He's like Fonda-baba from Star Wars.

[13:29] Peter Fonda.

[13:31] He's a babe.

[13:32] It's so weird that you made,

[13:34] it's like if they made a King Kong movie

[13:36] about King Kong's brother and dad.

[13:38] Like I know he died at the end of the first movie,

[13:40] but this is about the rest of his family.

[13:42] And I know they made-

[13:43] Oh, it's like Donkey Kong?

[13:44] I know they made Son of Kong,

[13:45] which is about King Kong's son, sure.

[13:47] They could have made a movie about Peter Fonda's son.

[13:48] Instead it's about his brother and his dad

[13:50] as if he needed to fill in the backstory.

[13:52] Like most of this movie is prequel, which we'll get to.

[13:55] So before he's gonna go on this trip,

[13:56] he decides to pick up his best friend.

[13:58] But beforehand, there's that great bit

[14:00] where he like makes a decision to go on the trip.

[14:02] And he stuffs that fucking tube full of money,

[14:05] just like in the first movie,

[14:07] which has like, they're only doing that

[14:09] because it's a callback to the first movie.

[14:11] It has no, like, it's no real point.

[14:14] It's not like at any point someone tries to rob him.

[14:17] And it's only because the money's in the gas tank

[14:18] he gets away, you know.

[14:20] Yeah.

[14:21] I'm glad that I had you on hand.

[14:22] And then he gives it to the first poor guy.

[14:24] Or not that, yeah.

[14:25] He's still picking up his best friend

[14:27] at the dirt bike track.

[14:28] I do say, I'm glad that I had you on,

[14:30] we had you on hand, Stuart,

[14:31] because I would not have recognized that as a callback.

[14:33] I've seen the first movie,

[14:35] but I don't like Easy Rider.

[14:38] I don't like the original,

[14:39] like, I recognize that it was a million times better

[14:43] than this movie.

[14:43] Call me square, but I'm not a fan of these Easy Riders.

[14:47] Those five pieces aren't so easy to me.

[14:50] I like five easy pieces,

[14:51] but Easy Rider, I feel like-

[14:52] Hair, get it cut.

[14:53] That's what I say.

[14:54] I starred in Hair.

[14:56] Yeah, I was gonna say, Dan,

[14:57] as one of my great moments in my college career

[15:01] was getting to see Dan McCoy star

[15:03] in the musical performance of Hair at Earlham College.

[15:07] Not all the naked people.

[15:08] Dan was standing up on a platform, gazing upon them.

[15:11] I was-

[15:12] Well, only out of the corner of my eyes

[15:14] was I gazing upon them.

[15:15] Who did you play in Hair?

[15:17] Oh, okay, so you did star in Hair.

[15:18] Yeah.

[15:19] Anyway, so that's a peek behind, I guess,

[15:22] the curtain of my college life.

[15:25] I don't know.

[15:26] No, but what I'm saying is

[15:27] you probably had to get deep into character.

[15:29] Yeah, smoked a lot of pot, dropped a lot of acid.

[15:31] How does that affect your opinion of hippie culture?

[15:35] The closest I came to getting into character

[15:37] was the stage manager, Alison Kennis.

[15:41] You may remember her.

[15:43] Yeah, glad we dropped the name.

[15:45] What is this, a scene from Easy Ride on the Way Back?

[15:48] Yeah, right, I dropped 17 more names.

[15:50] She and Karen Florentine and I were gonna get some shrooms

[15:54] and eat them on a pizza, and then Alison dropped the ball.

[15:57] She never got the mushrooms.

[15:59] Is that drug-smoking, dropping the ball?

[16:01] Can we cut this story out before we get back to the movie?

[16:03] It was supposed to be research for the role.

[16:07] What, because there's a lot of pizza in Hair?

[16:09] Were you doing it as Ninja Turtles?

[16:11] I was a long-haired Ninja Turtle

[16:14] who did not want to be drafted

[16:16] into the fight against Shredder.

[16:17] Claude Leonardo, thinks that it's groovy

[16:20] to go sit in a movie and be a ninja.

[16:22] Anyway.

[16:23] I was burning my sighs.

[16:25] Anyway, so go on.

[16:26] Wow, Dan, now, if Raphael had said that,

[16:29] I'd know he meant the ninja weapon,

[16:30] but since you sigh sadly so often,

[16:33] I thought you were really protesting

[16:34] by burning your main mode of communication.

[16:37] If you could do that,

[16:37] it would be a powerful protest from you.

[16:39] Yeah, well, no, it'd be more of like

[16:41] taking control of my own life.

[16:43] Yeah, yeah.

[16:44] It'd be a powerful, like,

[16:45] from this moment on, I'm sad no more.

[16:49] I'm not, the sighs don't master me.

[16:51] I master them.

[16:52] Sigh guy no more.

[16:54] So anyway, he decides to pick up his best friend.

[16:57] Wait, what are we talking about?

[16:58] Easy Rider, the ride back.

[17:00] Now, here's the thing.

[17:01] We mentioned there are a lot of names.

[17:02] I don't think we've hit hard enough.

[17:04] The fact that every scene,

[17:05] each character mentions a ton of other characters,

[17:07] and this must be what, like,

[17:09] it must feel like when my wife picks up

[17:11] one of my X-Men comics,

[17:12] and they're just mentioning Aurora Monroe

[17:14] and Spiral and Mojo,

[17:16] and she has no idea who these people are.

[17:18] They sound pretty great, though.

[17:19] Yeah, oh, no, they're all great, yeah.

[17:21] This is like Forge.

[17:22] A forge is a noun, not a,

[17:24] it's a thing, not a person.

[17:26] That's his problem.

[17:28] Everyone treats him like he's a thing and not a person,

[17:31] but he's a person.

[17:31] He's a shaman and a mutant.

[17:33] Yeah, yeah.

[17:34] So, but he goes to pick up his best friend, Jeff Fahey,

[17:37] playing the character of Wes Coast,

[17:41] who is a dirt, professional dirt biker

[17:44] turned fat bearded guy.

[17:46] He's Mr. Motocross.

[17:47] And he is kind of the Dude Lebowski of this movie.

[17:49] If the Dude Lebowski did nothing but ride a motorcycle

[17:53] and talk at such a low level

[17:54] that you can barely hear what he's saying.

[17:56] And also have flashbacks to having sex

[17:58] with the main character's sister.

[18:00] On the back of a motorcycle.

[18:02] Major nude scene delivery system of this film.

[18:05] And this is a movie that is shot and scored

[18:08] like a Playboy video calendar.

[18:10] Yep.

[18:11] So it's, so let's.

[18:12] It's all library music satellites of other songs.

[18:15] And at this, anyway, it's.

[18:17] So Jeff Fahey's character is introduced

[18:20] in a, some motocrossing.

[18:22] Yes.

[18:23] Where the camera can not keep him in frame.

[18:24] Oh no, he's just too fast.

[18:25] And he's the Sancho Panza of this film.

[18:28] He really is.

[18:28] To Morgan's Don Quixote.

[18:31] And they go to a bar where they watch

[18:33] some women dancing on a bar.

[18:35] Jeff Fahey gets into a fight

[18:36] and hits a bunch of people in the face

[18:38] with a Jack Daniels bottle.

[18:39] So hard that.

[18:40] Is that like a roadhouse?

[18:41] What was going on there?

[18:42] It was kind of a honky tonk roadhouse.

[18:43] Well, it was one of those strip clubs

[18:44] where most of the women are fully clothed

[18:46] except for one lady.

[18:47] Yeah.

[18:48] Well, they were all.

[18:49] They were all fully clothed.

[18:50] They were all covered up.

[18:51] And they all had various degrees

[18:53] of boredom in their dancing.

[18:55] Yeah.

[18:56] One woman was literally just bobbing

[18:57] while patting her hip.

[18:58] There was like the one topless lady

[18:59] and then there was a bunch of.

[19:00] I think the only top she took off was her cowboy hat.

[19:02] I don't remember any topless ladies, David.

[19:05] Let's check the video.

[19:07] This is your Castle Creek ding dong rip off.

[19:10] Stuart and I both saw women in bikini tops, for sure.

[19:13] Bikini tops and short skirts.

[19:16] I didn't see any topless women.

[19:17] You don't have the radar that I do.

[19:18] One girl had chaps on.

[19:19] Is that what you're thinking?

[19:20] Yeah, do you think chaps and boobs are the same thing?

[19:23] What do you think chapstick is?

[19:24] And speaking of chaps,

[19:26] some chap gets rude with one of the girls

[19:28] and Jeff Fahey clubs him with a bottle.

[19:30] Jeff Fahey defends her honor by killing him with a bottle.

[19:33] Then they've got a ski-daddle.

[19:34] They go on.

[19:35] That was pretty funny when he was like,

[19:37] it didn't break like in the movies.

[19:40] Yeah, man, that's thick glass.

[19:41] Yeah.

[19:42] So then they ride.

[19:43] You've got to keep all that whiskey inside.

[19:45] There's one of about 20 scenes

[19:47] where they just ride their motorcycle in long shot.

[19:49] What?

[19:50] I said it was a good joke.

[19:51] That was a fine little chuckle.

[19:53] So then it's time to watch them

[19:54] ride their motorcycles forever.

[19:55] They eventually stop at, I guess a restaurant.

[19:58] It looks more like a bar.

[20:00] it's a bus no but before i guess it's after that i can't remember

[20:04] it's hard to keep the order of this movie there's a point where they

[20:06] nothing follows anything no but i'm loving watching you try to keep the

[20:09] order they stop it it's either a restaurant or it's the shanty town from

[20:12] prince of darkness and they a woman is their waitress and

[20:16] they ask her where they can get some reefer

[20:18] she says oh here we call it and jeff he's like

[20:21] pot huh yeah as if that's the craziest newfangled thing he's ever heard

[20:27] keeping in mind they've called it pot for what 50 years and then there's five

[20:30] minutes of this like young blonde lady driving around on a motorcycle with like

[20:35] some shots of the other two of them following her and it's like a

[20:38] country music television video from 1990 and i assume the point is just to see

[20:41] her boobs bouncing while she's riding a motorcycle yes

[20:44] and she's not even that she takes them to a place she's not even wearing a

[20:47] helmet no we're long pants if she fell off that

[20:50] bike her legs would be torn to pieces yeah she'd be like shredded like lettuce

[20:54] and not in the good way no she'd be like stevie semi and the wood chipper at

[20:57] the end of fargo yeah so they go to a place she walks out of

[21:01] a building and hands them something and then they drive off

[21:03] and then she stares at them wistfully as if they've had a moment of some kind

[21:07] yeah the movie moves on and she stays there

[21:10] yeah the adventure of them getting some pot

[21:13] this is like the uh this is their version of i guess it's

[21:17] like is it in vanishing point where the guy showed that hero shows up at a place

[21:20] where there's a nude woman riding a motorcycle

[21:22] she offers sex to him and he says no and then he and he leaves and that's

[21:26] about it i guess i mean like this movie is like uh

[21:29] you mentioned don quixote before it's kind of like don quixote in that it's a

[21:32] picaresque tale go on where they're it's it's it's a

[21:37] regular little incidents that don't necessarily like

[21:40] all add up together to a big bigger narrative yeah until

[21:43] later on it turns into tristram shandy for a while where it flashes way back

[21:47] and leaves the main character so the quest to find some reefer is it is

[21:51] a success and they continue on their way there's

[21:54] another scene where they see they meet a friend of theirs

[21:57] used to be west coast's uh big biking rival now he

[22:01] serves poor people meals out of an old unworking bus

[22:05] and uh peter fonda look-alike gives him some money to fix the bus

[22:08] so and thus the money the fable of the broken bus

[22:12] comes to its conclusion so the money he hid in his gas tank

[22:16] within the first i'm hoping third of the movie he just gives it to the guy for

[22:21] his like the guy's like how much is in there

[22:23] he's like enough and then just gives him all the money it doesn't make any sense

[22:26] at all so i guess they're living off the land i

[22:29] guess to stealing chickens and pies off ledges

[22:31] they don't need that cash dollars but my favorite of these unconnected incidents

[22:35] is when they just stop on the beach for a while and a

[22:38] like slow shitty version of america the beautiful plays

[22:42] over shots of like dead fish carcasses and

[22:46] ruined old buildings and at the end the main character goes

[22:50] we blew it man we really gotta take better care of the earth

[22:54] and that's it yeah yeah message received thanks

[22:58] thanks buddy it is the least subtle environmental message since i think

[23:01] godzilla versus the smog monster uh then there's also the scene where

[23:06] they bed down for the night they're camping out

[23:08] and uh the and jeff fahey makes the point that

[23:12] they could just fly where they're going they don't or stay in a hotel

[23:16] and uh peter fonda lookalike or jeff fahey i forget which one talks about how

[23:20] hey if it could be 150 years ago when men had more freedom and these bikes were

[23:24] horses you saying you wouldn't give up all

[23:26] these modern conveniences to go back to that freedom

[23:29] and he's like yeah i guess so uh and yeah i guess that's another one of the

[23:33] points in the movie about i don't really understand what they're talking about i

[23:36] think they're too high on reaper yeah and then they start laughing at it at a

[23:39] cheeto that fell on the ground but this is like this is but it's

[23:42] approximately here in this movie that the movie splits off into a whole

[23:45] different movie right like this is about where

[23:48] all of a sudden we go over to uh the main character's dad

[23:52] yep now it's about the father his name is wild bill and he is

[23:56] a cantankerous little gentleman with a constantly quivering lower lip

[24:00] he always looks like he's either about to cry or he's chewing like he's working

[24:04] on a little peanut it's like trying to strip that acorn

[24:08] bear with just a little fucking kitty cat tongue he's got a

[24:12] tiny piece of gum that he wants to make last so he's just these tiny little

[24:15] chewing motions and i want to believe that's what he

[24:18] brought the everlasting gobstopper

[24:23] it's like his mouth is always in one of those old-time workout machines that

[24:27] just shakes you but anyway he's mad at his daughter and

[24:31] the world he hates his his son morgan the main

[24:34] character he loves his son virgil who we never see

[24:37] in the present and the reason for this is he is a veteran of the

[24:42] north africa campaign in world war ii which he flashes back to a lot and

[24:45] apparently he was riding a motorcycle during a

[24:48] battle and his leg got blown up and his friend healed him yeah by rommel's

[24:52] africa corps yeah and that's and so the history so that's

[24:56] another thing this movie had to give it a family origin

[24:59] for why peter fonda rides a motorcycle in the first one

[25:02] it's like you know every it's that's the thing i didn't really buy it when i saw

[25:06] the first easy rider that he's always riding a motorcycle

[25:10] like where do you get that from oh you're like i get the easy but where

[25:13] does the rider come from so many unanswered questions about how

[25:16] he got into motorcycles it's like it's such a it's a george

[25:21] lucas star wars prequel level of explaining shit

[25:24] sure oh you're wondering how han got that vest well

[25:28] here's what happened he was walking through the forest and a bunch of

[25:32] brambles ripped the sleeves off his jacket

[25:34] yeah i mean not to play to flash back uh to the aforementioned nathan raven i

[25:39] real i read his uh review of this and he talked about how

[25:42] like the movie came up as fan fiction and that is totally

[25:45] totally feels like easy rider fan like oh man there's so many holes that i need

[25:49] to fill in except fan fiction from someone who does

[25:51] not care for the message of the original easy rider

[25:54] it is it's a guy who loves motorcycles but doesn't like hippies doesn't like

[25:59] hippies and so there's to make a very long convoluted

[26:02] story short the dad is mad i don't know if i'll allow it i

[26:06] think you should do the entire thing i can honestly not imagine the order this

[26:10] stuff goes in he's the dad is mad at his daughter he has

[26:13] bad flashback dreams about world war ii then his friend who was the medic who

[26:17] healed him comes by and it's one of the old men from

[26:20] nebraska yeah a character actor's been in a ton of stuff who his name in this

[26:24] is stonewall andrew jackson which is crazy

[26:27] that it combines two different american jacksons

[26:30] and uh he and tito and over dinner one night

[26:34] it's weird he got the nickname stonewall completely unrelated yeah yeah

[26:38] it's because he was at the stonewall riots that night

[26:42] he was the first guy to throw a punch at a cop yeah he shows up wearing chaps the

[26:46] first time we see him yeah that's why they're so close yeah

[26:49] yeah they were lovers uh back when that love dared not speak

[26:52] yeah there was like a five minute scene of him driving up to the house

[26:57] now so the daughter this is a movie where everyone's

[27:00] decades long family problems are solved with one conversation each

[27:04] so the daughter yells at the dad hey stop pushing me away

[27:07] suddenly everything's fine over dinner he explains to her and his friend

[27:10] stonewall his entire life history which you'd

[27:12] think they'd know by this point how he was in world war ii then he came

[27:15] back he had a farm he had a baby the kids grew up he taught them racism

[27:19] was bad by talking about jackie robinson and

[27:21] your perseverance is good because that was meant america was good when kids

[27:25] listen to their fathers not realizing that he's also

[27:28] illustrating that america was super racist at the time

[27:31] during the good old days but uh then his sons grew up

[27:34] wrong one of them went to vietnam and the other one and it became a

[27:39] celebrated sniper the other one totally forgot that i called the postpartum

[27:43] depression suicide oh yeah the mother also killed herself

[27:46] due to postpartum depression after the daughter was born when when the the bad

[27:50] kid explained that his mom was sick with something after his sister was born

[27:54] the whole time uh with a cigarette dangling from his mouth in the

[27:57] fakest cigarette smoking scene ever seen where he is sketching and coloring in

[28:02] drawings of his american flag bike that he's gonna ride

[28:05] in the first easy rider like he's fucking spider-man designing his costume

[28:09] but the smoking like imagine the scene from ghostbusters where the cigarette is

[28:13] just dangling from ray's lip the whole time

[28:16] and but imagine that that was played seriously as if ray was still smoking

[28:19] that cigarette and as if that little kid's doing that

[28:22] thing little kid he's like a teenager whatever

[28:24] it's not like an eight-year-old i'm an old man now yeah yeah they all look the

[28:27] same to you uh so he's a kid racist okay

[28:32] so one brother becomes a dirty hippie and doesn't go to vietnam

[28:36] the other one does but what we don't know is

[28:41] it turns out there's oh and also his the older brother

[28:44] virgil who did go to vietnam had a crush on the rich girl in town but because

[28:48] they were a poor farm family her parents didn't

[28:51] approve anyway but it's revealed there's more

[28:55] backstory in this fucking i haven't even gotten to the dirty secret yet

[29:00] where this movie goes from bad to disgusting is when it's when

[29:06] morgan reveals to his friend west coast that

[29:09] this is after we find like we see scenes of this uh this awesome dude

[29:13] being a like a sick sniper he's like a super sniper well he's like

[29:17] sniping little vietnamese kids they drop him out of a helicopter in vietnam

[29:22] and this is where you know the budget the movie's not super low because they

[29:25] rented a helicopter or and they show it because they they

[29:28] keep they hold on that shot of the helicopter for a good half

[29:32] there's a ton of helicopter shots of the bikes going across this probably the

[29:36] same helicopter the california scrubland landscape

[29:39] he has the same helicopter they use the other one the huey or so they go to

[29:42] uh the part of vietnam that looks like big sur california

[29:47] and then it's got palm trees so it's vietnam right

[29:50] they go he he gets dropped in on a helicopter then you see a unit

[29:54] of american soldiers who are moving through the the jungle

[29:57] and they get caught in a trap super tense

[30:00] sniper and then this and then virgil who's

[30:03] all camoed up with plants on his head

[30:05] he finds the sniper who's a and we'll be only a tom berenger and then the

[30:09] americans leave you know what you're going to do is go do you see through the

[30:14] scope just like it's a rare either cyber

[30:17] and uh...

[30:18] the the americans i guess their mission was to go there and leave

[30:22] they come day

[30:23] you know that we're going to be like retrieve the bodies of the people's

[30:27] the the shows a helicopter flying away and that's when

[30:30] virgil gets up out of the vegetation and goes to walk over to the corpse which

[30:34] turns out to just be he wants to do honor to his fallen foe but it's weird

[30:38] because you have to ask

[30:40] so did the other men troops even know virgil was there did they think that

[30:43] like

[30:43] the hand of god struck the sniper dead

[30:46] and is virgil just gonna walk home after that like a lot of crazy things

[30:49] happening thanks for saving us but guys you wanna ride home no it's ok cool we're

[30:53] gonna head out

[30:54] let's get in the air cab you can just hang around the vietnam jungle for as

[30:57] long as you want

[30:58] but then it turns out

[31:00] his heart's been broken he has no reason to go home well he enlisted because of a

[31:03] dark secret

[31:04] he's

[31:05] one night his rich girlfriend snuck out of her home with him

[31:09] they rode on a motorcycle down together because everybody loves motorcycles and

[31:12] by the way

[31:14] i cut out the scene where the dad as a young man takes an amputee world war two

[31:18] veteran on a ride in his motorcycle sidecar in exchange for a handmade flag

[31:23] let's just cut out that part entirely

[31:26] because america was a much better place back when we didn't have the medicine

[31:30] that allowed us to keep our legs these are like

[31:33] who made that flag

[31:35] i must have that flag that flag was sewn so immaculately

[31:39] and i've never seen a flag like that this is madmen quality costuming

[31:43] i gave his flag a double stitch anyway

[31:46] we're talking madmen quality costuming period costuming oh yeah beautiful at no

[31:49] point does it look like

[31:51] a high school production of greece never

[31:54] uh... god

[31:55] so the point is we were talking about the amputee the most distasteful scene we were not talking about the amputee

[32:00] so it turns out we assume that the reason he went to vietnam is

[32:05] because his girl broke his heart and because he's a proud good american who

[32:08] is a patriot like his dad believes at least he knows he's free yeah

[32:12] he'll proudly stand up

[32:14] next to you

[32:15] and defender still today yeah

[32:16] back then

[32:17] so it turns out virgil so morgan tells west coast

[32:21] that virgil had a dark secret so one night

[32:24] his rich girlfriend snuck out and they motorcycled down to

[32:27] an abandoned arboretum like i don't know what it was exactly

[32:30] some kind of it's like uh... it's part of like a day camp

[32:33] it's like a three-sided house with a fireplace

[32:37] yeah like you see the little campgrounds all over and they start making out and the

[32:40] girlfriend starts taking off her shirt and he goes no no no

[32:43] and she's like it's okay and they start making out and then who should show up

[32:47] but the bad side of motorcycles

[32:50] a motorcycle gang

[32:53] it's a good thing that motorcycles have turned evil unlike the patriotic motorcycle

[32:57] riders we've been used to in most of the movie

[32:59] these are hoodlums who use motorcycles in a bad way this is a

[33:03] motorcycle gang who looks like uh... some community theater guys who are

[33:07] trying to be like street toughs yeah it's again it's like

[33:10] it's like your dad decided to make a heavy metal music video

[33:15] and these are the backup guys it's a motorcycle gang from any which way you can

[33:19] yeah and they're led by the fayest motorcycle bandit

[33:24] i've ever seen yeah the guy who wants to intimidate somebody by like

[33:27] jumping over something or like giggling weirdly he's kind of a young

[33:32] william sadler type

[33:33] i can see that

[33:34] he's only a couple i think you're being charitable on the young part

[33:38] yeah he looks like he's about fifty seven years old he's only a couple steps away

[33:41] from like carmen guilla from the producers

[33:44] in terms of coded homosexuality but uh...

[33:47] he decides to hey hey

[33:50] this young couple is trespassing

[33:53] and they punch

[33:54] virgil and knock him out and make him watch as he rapes his girlfriend

[33:58] and then as he's passing out goes

[34:00] hey and don't forget about that guy so i guess it's implied that he raped virgil too

[34:04] yeah both of them it is so distasteful

[34:06] it's distasteful and it has none of the tact of irreversible

[34:11] and rape scenes are always horrible i don't want to make light of it

[34:16] i have to say

[34:18] this actor is making the most

[34:20] hilarious evil faces

[34:22] yeah it's pretty funny he's like he's looking over at the guy like hey hey

[34:27] hey you see what i'm doing pretty horrible he looks either happy or like super

[34:31] mad there's a look on his face like i hope he's appreciating this because i

[34:35] sure don't like it

[34:37] i'm just doing this for your benefit and so virgil

[34:40] went to vietnam and when he comes back he's a changed man he's a kind of

[34:43] angel of vengeance if you will

[34:45] who wears a hood over his head yeah he's like uh... like one of those the crows

[34:48] one of those crows or winter's soldiers and he walks into a biker bar where the gang is

[34:54] and the gang orders them a bloody mary as a show of disrespect i guess

[34:59] and this is when there's the best line of the death there's the best line

[35:03] enjoy your last brunch and the sixty-year-old pirate bartender delivers it

[35:07] and this is when the best line of the movie my favorite character

[35:10] he was by far the best character

[35:12] this scene in all honky tonk pirate bartender

[35:15] with a do-rag on his head

[35:16] now he delivers it and this is the best line in the movie when the fey

[35:20] motorcycle bandit says

[35:22] hey i don't drink this shit you go sell it to someone else and give me the money

[35:26] that's not how it works that's not how bars work

[35:30] you now have ownership of the beer and you're going to outsource it to the bartender

[35:36] like i can't handle this i can't handle the acid in that tomato based drink

[35:40] you take it back maybe someone got sprayed by a skunk and poured it on them

[35:44] can i exchange this for store credit

[35:48] i don't think so

[35:54] don't you have like a token i can use to get into this

[35:58] just give me two free plays of the jake bryant comic con square

[36:02] okay tell you what you take back the drink and i'll pay a dollar

[36:05] give me like a hot dog

[36:09] it's not how it works

[36:12] no exchanges sir it says it right over there

[36:15] and another guy walks up

[36:17] yeah i decided i don't want half this shot of whiskey can i get like

[36:20] a bucket of popcorn

[36:22] we don't exchange sir no exchanges i ate a quarter of this pickled egg

[36:26] it isn't as it was advertised i was expecting more pickle juice

[36:33] can i get a partial refund

[36:37] okay here's $22 like whoa wait a minute

[36:41] how much are you charging for pickled eggs $35 an egg

[36:46] they're totally organic

[36:47] look it's very hard to pickle those chickens that lay the pickled eggs

[36:53] it's a complex process it's hard to feed pickles to a chicken you understand

[37:01] okay i'll tell you what barkeep i'll make you a deal

[37:05] instead of giving me the full refund for the pickled egg

[37:08] can't you give me something in in some kind of good i notice there's a paper

[37:11] towel dispenser in the bathroom can i have a roll of paper towels

[37:15] sure whatever

[37:17] i don't know we're not getting our sintas delivery for another two weeks

[37:20] he tears off four paper towels and gives it to him as a tip

[37:24] hey here's some for you to have a drink on me

[37:27] sir i don't need those paper towels i'm already wearing a two rag on my head

[37:31] don't dry yourself all in one place

[37:34] well not my hands i don't understand

[37:36] yeah your mouth too i don't know

[37:38] well if only he had those paper towels because he goes into the bathroom

[37:41] he goes into the bathroom and he is incredible he goes into the bathroom and not only does

[37:45] he not wash his hands he doesn't even finish peeing because virgil garrets him to death

[37:50] but then he starts peeing blood does that happen when your throat gets cut

[37:53] i thought at first that he cut his wiener off

[37:56] i thought this was a regular castle freak situation

[37:58] or maybe he stabbed him in the kidney

[37:59] i think he just garrotted him and you were seeing arterial spray

[38:03] but it like it like ramped off of his wiener

[38:05] i don't know

[38:06] i guess yeah it's

[38:07] it happens sometimes

[38:10] it flowed down his body and went off like a waterfall yeah

[38:13] yeah it's like when you're in the shower and like you know like the water goes down

[38:17] and it looks like you're peeing because it's just like cascading off of the penis

[38:20] because that that's it

[38:21] i don't know i don't want to hear any more about this

[38:23] you're peeing too though right

[38:25] well sure

[38:26] if you gotta pee

[38:27] of course you are come on who's gonna stop you

[38:29] mr bubble

[38:32] mr clean maybe but not mr bubble

[38:34] he'll say wait can i have some of that he's that guy's in all sorts of things

[38:38] anyway

[38:38] so our patriotic hero son is a dark angel

[38:41] he's a dark angel of vengeance who has killed vigilante killed the man who raped

[38:45] a virgilante

[38:46] he's the virgilante that's right

[38:48] we can't officers we got to find the identity of this virgilante guy

[38:52] well we checked the guy's name virgil

[38:53] i don't think so

[38:55] we interrogated that roman poet

[38:57] and he didn't seem to know anything

[38:59] yeah the bloody mary bandit the bloody mary killer

[39:04] yeah bloody marty

[39:05] we found all the suppliers of tomato juice

[39:07] now imagine somebody went into the bathroom found the the biker guy's body

[39:11] and then brought it to the bartender was like

[39:12] so could i get like half a bottle of doers for this

[39:17] is this worth anything

[39:19] i mean maybe take his clothes i don't know

[39:23] like a medical supply

[39:25] look this is not that's why you can't allow any kind of refunds

[39:29] it's not the body snatchers eric

[39:30] yeah can't you send it to a medical school

[39:32] no

[39:34] boil off the skin and they can i don't know look at his bones or something

[39:37] i can't do it

[39:41] like a stew out of my mouth

[39:43] yeah send it to the bodies exhibit

[39:46] full set of teeth that's got to be worth something

[39:49] i'll tell you what give me a six pack of bud

[39:52] i'll give you i'll give you a six pack of bud for you to leave me alone

[39:54] and you'll take the body right

[39:55] no i don't want it

[39:56] then no deal

[40:00] Well, we have to assume that's what happened because we don't see anything that happens afterwards. Oh, yeah

[40:04] I dispose of the book. He doesn't he just leaves it there now. I just met I just

[40:08] See this guy the Pawn Stars type show about this bartender a guy brings in like hey, I've got three hats

[40:14] What can I get for this? Well, these hats are in pretty good condition

[40:18] I'd say they're worth about

[40:21] Like a half a bottle of course. Okay. Sure. You got it

[40:25] And then if the greats go original or Coors light, of course light

[40:28] Okay, and the graphics come up on screen hats three price teaching have a Coors light. I'll give you a lime slice and a cherry

[40:39] Okay, I found this antique tin toy this is pretty good shape this is pretty good shape I'll tell you what

[40:44] Here's a bottle of Jack Daniels. Hey, great. Yeah

[40:49] So

[40:52] Story that's it. That's the last we hear that's the last we hear of Virgil until the end when okay, so finally

[41:00] Morgan makes it to the what is it? The Cave Creek Ranch, which you know

[41:04] Did the main brother Peter Fonda look alike? Okay to the Cave Creek Ranch, which is oh, and there's also let's and there's all

[41:11] There's the scene where the the sister remembers

[41:16] Her sister Shane is that her name Shane when she remembers when her son enlisted to go to Iraq

[41:21] Who looks eerily like Jeff Fahey might I and her husband shows up and is like you're not going over there to get killed

[41:28] No, you're not going she's like my dad served and my brother served proudly bravely if he wants to make that choice

[41:33] It's his choice and the dad is like I just go to Iraq already end of scene

[41:39] Immediately cut immediate cut it's like they could not bother to spend any more time on it

[41:45] Let's not let that moment sit

[41:46] Let's get when the guy throws up his hands and literally says and just go to Iraq then yeah

[41:50] We got another five minutes worth of motorcycle footage. We need to immediately cut to so

[41:55] The Sun finally shows up

[41:58] He and his dad who have hated each other for decades talk for about

[42:02] 75 seconds a minute and a half

[42:04] Everything's natural stuff for us to pay attention

[42:06] We were laughing to literally could not hear what they were saying because partly the dialogue is recorded very low

[42:12] But mainly because we were laughing so hard at the constant lip

[42:15] Vibrating of the old man like he really amped up the old man face in this scene

[42:21] What it's all defensive levels of old man?

[42:24] It's like you had just imagine he wasn't even listening to his son because he was trying to get this popcorn kernel out of his teeth

[42:28] Yeah, the directors like okay. Imagine you're Hagrid and Harry Potter just saved your job

[42:35] Uh the actor Newell Alexander everybody, okay, you're living with

[42:41] Years in a lot of in the same year. He was in

[42:45] August Osage County there are a bunch of actors in this we're not big-name actors been in a lot of professional movies

[42:51] Maybe you learn that trick from Meryl Streep. Maybe yeah like in Silkwood when Meryl Streep is just

[42:57] That's their face and Sophie's choice I think when she makes the choice

[43:00] But it's like it's like the director was like, okay in this scene your lip is so cold it can't stop shivering

[43:06] So I'm cold. No, no, no, just the lip. I don't see anybody shivers just lip shivers

[43:13] And then rub ice on his lip like like putting peanut butter on a horse's teeth to make it look like it's talking

[43:18] Yeah, anyway, they've patched everything up and next comes we were just laughing through this the most beautiful part of the movie

[43:25] So hard to explain it's hard to like explain to the

[43:29] Why it's so put it best when he said that they'd become unstuck in time

[43:34] The dad is gonna so the son is gonna take the dab back on his motorcycle on the ride back home

[43:40] And then suddenly cuts to scenes that must have happened before this. He's lying in bed having a nightmare

[43:45] Yeah, his daughter is shaving him while he's well

[43:48] He laughs there's just a big shot of him flipping through an old photo album

[43:52] It's literally like shards of time have come loose

[43:55] It's like a montage of like Superboy Prime punched the multiverse

[44:00] We're experiencing things in nonlinear order. It's the series finale of a tin

[44:06] Season running show and we're seeing scenes from it is the last episode of the see any season of the wire

[44:12] Yeah, it's the end of Akira where Tetsuo and Kaneda are like going through time. They're reliving their memories

[44:19] Like the most like maudlin scenes like you say it's like

[44:22] Mullen or just or nothing Monday. You might have been a shot like there's a shot of him sitting in a chair

[44:27] There's a great shot of him getting shaved by his daughter. He's just yucking it up. He's just laughing

[44:33] Which looks like that's what he's using his lips for laughing not quivering

[44:36] It's one of those things also where you're like, is that a scene I miss like a deleted scene

[44:41] Is that something that's just an easter egg? Yeah, it's it the it's just so strange to suddenly have this

[44:48] Non chronological reminder of this guy's past couple days, but it's hard to impart

[44:54] the level of

[44:57] Especially coming after his masterclass and lip-quivering and

[45:02] they and they're driving back riding back and

[45:05] Morgan's vo comes back goes

[45:07] Well, Virgil will be showing up soon. And so West Coast and every and West Coast says he's got a big surprise for the party

[45:15] And for the birthday party and I still hate surprises because earlier the movie said I hate surprises

[45:20] That's it the end. So like we didn't even get to see the birthday party. We never got to meet Virgil

[45:26] Why they why the character exists is you're a total what do you think?

[45:30] Do you think he got after murdering that one motorcyclist?

[45:33] He is like he got that out of his system and now he's like straight and arrow

[45:37] No, I think he's an Avenger of the night now. Well by day. He's a Virgil ante by days

[45:43] Certified public accountant by night

[45:44] He's the Virgil ante who has a camo full camo hood just goes into bathrooms and kills

[45:49] Whoever's at the urinal at that moment assuming that they're a rapist biker

[45:53] Leaving Bloody Mary's as a calling card. Yeah

[45:56] The hard part is mixing the Bloody Mary in the bathroom before anyone comes in and sees him at the body. Sure. Exactly

[46:01] He's got to carry his whole kid

[46:03] all the tomato juice

[46:06] Little measuring measuring cups. Yeah, he's got a whole bag of celery with him

[46:10] But a utility belt with just that

[46:12] Think of all the garnish he could he could include why sure why are you walking around with Worcestershire sauce?

[46:17] Don't mind. Don't don't don't think about it. Don't worry. Is that are you part bacon? Are you putting bacon in there?

[46:23] Harvey Dent, can we trust you?

[46:26] Oyster on top of it

[46:33] A Chesapeake Bloody Mary, it just seems so rich

[46:37] And we're know how it's like a whole meal I also put do one with an egg in it I called the good morning Mary

[46:47] Wait, what?

[46:48] Of course, there's my big easy Mary that has chunks of alligator sausage and andouille in there

[46:54] It's a play. It's a play on of andouille and po'boy meal, but in a Bloody Mary

[46:58] It's got a whole beignet on the side. Of course. I'm also working on a disassembled Bloody Mary. Sure. That's of course

[47:04] Glass of tomato juice glass of everything else stick of celery. I think it's just a half of tomato that I've hollowed out

[47:14] Is it is it the 5th of May how about a Bloody Maria?

[47:18] So yeah, there you go. So he he's basically a vigilante and extreme mix radical mixologist

[47:25] All right, we sounds pretty radical. We've gone way over time quickly

[47:28] This is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie kind of like I'll go first for once

[47:33] I thought this was a good bad movie

[47:36] They're like we rarely see a movie. That's truly bad when we do the flophouse because we usually stick to

[47:43] bigger films

[47:48] So incredibly amateurish and yeah, and the thing is like there's a certain magic to a truly incompetent movie

[47:54] Because you don't know where it's going

[47:56] Well, you don't know where it's going and you have no idea why any of the choices that were made are being made a media

[48:01] Mediocre movie you can always predict like a really like bad movie. You're like what the fuck is going on

[48:06] Why are we watching Jeff Fahey riding a motorcycle through the same identical landscape for 10 minutes?

[48:13] I used to watch a lot of really bad horror like V is straight to VHS horror movies

[48:18] And you don't really and and that's what this movie feels like and you don't really get those as much anymore

[48:23] a lot of like the super cheap movies are all like the

[48:27] you know the

[48:28] Found footage types. Yeah, and you and you don't really get that anymore. And so it was great to kind of I tell you this

[48:35] If you fall back in love with a shitty movie again

[48:37] if you want to see a bad sequel prequel to an old movie that

[48:43] Resembles a soft core porno with no with almost no sex scenes in it. Then. Yes. Watch watch this one easy rider the ride-back

[48:51] But I also give it a good bad movie

[48:55] All right, unanimous the coveted good bad, it's been a long time since we've given a very long time

[49:00] Usually you have to bully me into saying that food fight is good bad

[49:04] but

[49:05] Before you get on to our letters a quick word from our sponsor

[49:09] This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, which is the all-in-one platform making it fast and easy to create your own

[49:17] professional website portfolio or online store

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[49:33] Slash flophouse and enter the offer code flophouse at checkout then look guys

[49:40] It's the modern world

[49:42] Every is everybody. Well, I thought we were living in medieval times

[49:46] Arrived here in your time machine. Yeah, but everyone's got a website

[49:50] Everyone's got a website everybody you got a business website

[49:53] We have a personal website if you are in business and you don't have a website what you are a fool

[49:58] You are you are a fool

[50:00] Maybe a pool killer should come get you. Maybe you got a flop house fan site. I hope you do

[50:05] Why don't you have one build one getting you know where you can get the web?

[50:08] Yeah with Squarespace because it's a simple and easy you got a

[50:13] beautiful

[50:14] You got beautiful design templates to choose from you got drag and drop comp content

[50:19] Thought you said dragon and I was really dragging. Yeah a little dragon comes and helps you

[50:23] Uh-huh, well, but you don't have a dragon but you do have 24-7 support through live chat and email and

[50:31] Plan start at $8 a month including a reasonable free domain name if you sign up for a year

[50:36] But the domain name is butts.com. No, you gotta think that's taken but flop house butts.com. It's not

[50:44] Okay. Well, that's gonna be the first fan site flop house butts calm and here's the thing

[50:48] We know that you're reading websites on your phone, we're mostly spending our time looking at our phone when we're watching these movies you are

[50:55] I'm looking at my phone right now. So you got your responsive design that changes

[51:00] Mobile content based because people are looking at things at different platforms these days. Yeah, so

[51:05] Just remember when you decide to sign up for Squarespace use the offer code flop house to get 10% off your first purchase

[51:11] And so show your support for us here with the flop house

[51:16] So enjoy Squarespace at

[51:18] www.squarespace.com

[51:21] slash flop house

[51:23] But now sounds like a real deal in steel. Mm-hmm. Let's move on to letters

[51:29] from listeners

[51:31] letters from listeners letters from who

[51:36] Listeners letters from listeners who's been listening to us

[51:41] Who's been listening to things we do who's listening to my phone calls who's listening to what I say in the shower

[51:49] Someone put a chip in my brain and they're listening to the things that I say and I do

[51:53] Let's get to the bottom of it. It's a conspiracy. Dan. Did you do it?

[51:58] Are you working with the government to listen in on me and send me letters from the listeners?

[52:06] listening

[52:08] Feel like that was like the whole plot of like a season's worth of television

[52:12] It's a show called letters the show

[52:15] So this first letter is titled the flip house and it goes you got the title wrong buddy

[52:21] Dear flop trons. There's an elephant in the room of a flop house where the podcast is made that

[52:26] Ah

[52:33] Aside from cooking three young women alive

[52:43] Do I need to spell it out the elephant is it's the golden age of television

[52:48] People are always talking nowadays about how TV is where all the good storytelling is happening and that movies are lame

[52:54] Would love to hear your takes on that as well as some of your desert island favorite shows minor the Sopranos and Battlestar Galactica

[53:01] On the flip side. How about the flops the big swings and misses like John from Cincinnati the newsroom aka the snooze room?

[53:08] Good one. Nice man, Rose and Dustin Hoffman's weird horse racing show. Wow, too

[53:14] films and finally is

[53:17] Yeah, and finally read the beginning of the letter where he made clear the difference between television and thank you

[53:23] And finally a studio 60 the tango and cash of television yours and flop. Yes, Peter last name withheld now Peter

[53:29] I'm just a lorry. He's the lorry. You finally wrote in you answered my letters, but your letters. I'm sorry about your brother

[53:35] I know he's a ghost

[53:39] So Peter Scolari was the brother of the Scolari brothers

[53:44] So one of them became a Hollywood actor the other two became criminals who were sent to the chair

[53:49] Yeah, all right, and then later haunted a courtroom. So here's let me tell you this Peter

[53:53] I have issue with the people who say that TV rules while movies rules

[53:58] They I think there's a lot of great storytelling going on in movies. You just have to

[54:03] Either look for it or go to more than fucking Transformers movies

[54:07] You know, it's there's the idea that should I be writing this down teach?

[54:11] No, but I would say that I think it's overblown like there's a lot of great television drama right now

[54:16] But I think it's overblown the idea that movies are totally in the tank and it bugs me partly because there's some stories that are

[54:23] better served in a two to two and a half hour form than over a season people keep saying and this bugs me as a

[54:29] Writer because I have stories that I'd like to tell someday that do not lend themselves to a multi-season television series

[54:36] They would be a movie and they would be made for a movie

[54:39] So the idea that if you're a real writer or if you're really interested in good storytelling

[54:44] Television is now where it's at and movies are over. I find in a way almost offensive, you know

[54:50] And it's also interesting that like a lot of movies are right

[54:53] Oh, I'm doing a lot of TV shows that get greenlit these days are shows that seem like they would definitely be better served

[55:00] Are you talking about my shows being like at least at least a miniseries?

[55:04] Well, I think a lot of series now feel like they're so premise based that it's like there seems like a natural end point to this

[55:10] idea

[55:11] Where they just have to keep like winding out new things that being said

[55:16] There are a lot of great shows out there and in terms of Desert Island shows I'd say for me Mad Men

[55:22] Because I just love spending time with those characters

[55:25] Yeah, and really existing with them and I've loved watching them change over the course of the number of years

[55:30] But also I get a point where you could just kind of pair those characters up and it's just exciting to see them together

[55:36] You don't necessarily need plot to push it forward. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, I like seeing them just interacting, you know

[55:43] But uh, if I was on a desert island, I'd probably want comedy shows to help distract me from how terrible like scrubs or something

[55:49] Right, so like Scrubsy Jones, so you'd either have to go with what Simpsons?

[55:54] Yeah, or my all-time favorite television show of all time mystery science theater 2000

[55:59] Yeah, you I mean like you already took I mean like the first eight episodes first eight seasons of the Simpsons

[56:05] Are

[56:07] Tremendous. I I'll take all of them if I'm on a desert island. Look I'll take the mediocre episodes with my only other entertainment is

[56:14] Praying for a boat to come save me

[56:17] Maybe taking this to literally staring into a coconut

[56:22] Not ever gonna do anything interesting I can also watch staring and see also watch Dobie Gillis over and over again

[56:27] I think yeah, I mean if that's your fucking criterion if you're just like Oh compared to being on a desert island

[56:33] Like I think most television would well not lost. All right, it's gonna remind you of your troubles. Yep. I'm a I'm a great big

[56:43] Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. I'll say that

[56:47] The movie or the show

[56:54] Because I like

[56:56] they're very likable characters and to me like that mastered the

[57:01] Serialized storytelling in that it was it was I feel like the best show I've seen at

[57:07] Continuing a story but making each season an individual story arc

[57:12] Okay, which I feel like more

[57:14] Serialized stories should should take that model rather than trying to spin out the same story over multiple seasons

[57:20] We always fail. Well, and especially I'm tired of mystery stories

[57:24] Yeah, where you're supposed to keep watching to find out what the characters are doing. You know, I don't fucking care

[57:30] which is one of the great things about Mad Men because it started with the mystery of Dick Whitman and at a certain point they

[57:35] Solved that and then the show just kept going and got almost forgot the fact that was happening. Yeah. Yeah. What about you Stu?

[57:42] Uh, I like a lot of stuff

[57:45] but I I usually try and recommend a couple of British shows like spaced or

[57:50] The League of Gentlemen because that kind of walks that like horror and funny line that I like

[57:57] And as far as shows that are flops, I don't know if I'd say it was a flop but a Dan McCoy recommendation a

[58:03] One-season show. I really like Terriers

[58:06] Yeah, that's a really good show and that show

[58:09] If you are tired of shows that spin out longer than they should

[58:14] Like the great thing about that show is, you know, it was canceled after one season, but it told one totally satisfying

[58:21] Story within the confines of one season. Yeah, I like get on that Terriers train. I will eventually

[58:27] Yeah, cuz I got a lot of time to watch TV

[58:29] I mean in terms of flops though, like I feel like the problem with like a flop

[58:33] TV show is you don't want to spend that much a lot of time

[58:36] You're gonna commit yourself to like something two hours and a flop TV show is like eight to thirteen

[58:42] Yeah, I think you've already been walking over and like

[58:46] 60 is the best. That's yeah, that's one. I could I could watch to make fun of many times. Mm-hmm

[58:54] and

[58:55] I always enjoyed like like on a personal note at the show when at our

[59:02] Yeah, when okay, we're sorry our former EP would make jokes about how

[59:07] They would have the characters like people standing outside waiting for signatures for the head writer from the head show

[59:13] the so

[59:14] behind the curtain what's great about studio 60 is it takes place in the universe where a

[59:18] Late-night sketch comedy show is the biggest show on television

[59:22] The writers are famous and their enemies are Christian conservatives who hate them

[59:26] Yeah

[59:27] Who can't you can't allow the sketch called crazy Christians to get on the air because that will totally unravel the fabric

[59:35] 60 is how old now like 10 years

[59:38] It started the same year 30 rocked in so it's like eight nine years old

[59:42] And we still talk about it at the show

[59:44] And we still do the thing where we'll take somebody's script and just glance at the front page glance at the second page you go

[59:50] This is good

[59:51] This is funny because that's what they did on studio 60 all the time. They've never read the scripts

[59:55] They just glanced at them were like this is funny stuff. Yeah, really because you don't know how

[1:00:00] The sketch develops over the course of the four or five pages.

[1:00:05] So this next letter is titled Can somebody tell that house cat to stop partying here?

[1:00:11] So this is the pilot from your flop house.

[1:00:14] I've been going through a rough personal time recently.

[1:00:17] Believe me when I say that you gentlemen are entirely to blame for this.

[1:00:20] Let me explain. And now I'm tracking you down to kill each.

[1:00:23] I regularly host celebrating dinner parties, Mary based dinner parties attended only by

[1:00:29] the creme de la creme.

[1:00:31] The last of these gatherings was fantastically ruined when your wretched feline mascot

[1:00:35] crashed it, by which he mean he ramped his skateboard through a closed window, showering

[1:00:39] my guests with glass fragments before I could pick my monocle off the floor.

[1:00:43] This so-called house cat was gobbling greedy pawfuls of my caviar, dancing

[1:00:48] provocatively with the mayor's wife and brazenly opining that the wealthy class pays

[1:00:52] less than its fair share in federal income taxes.

[1:00:55] Sounds like the house cat, the total occupier.

[1:00:58] He then sprayed my Chanel sofa and back flipped to the infinity pool.

[1:01:02] This rampant rule breaking raged on until the police dogs arrived.

[1:01:06] At that point, he deftly withdrew his sandpapery tongue from my daughter-in-law's

[1:01:10] mouth, howled lustily and bailed over the fence.

[1:01:14] The house cat's complete disregard for basic decency has resulted in my ostracism

[1:01:18] and utter humiliation.

[1:01:19] I'll make this simple, Flophouse.

[1:01:21] Control your party animal or I'm going to revoke your charter.

[1:01:24] Charter. I'll joke a mumps aside.

[1:01:27] You guys are great. Dan, the man, Stuart, the manly, and of course, fan favorite, the

[1:01:32] one with the nasally voice who works at The Daily Show, your friend and mine, Hallie

[1:01:36] Hagelin. Oh, come on.

[1:01:37] Of course, I can't close without giving a shout out to the man whose endless stream

[1:01:44] of hilarious pedantic rambling really keeps the show glued together.

[1:01:47] Yes, keep writing in, David Kaelin.

[1:01:49] Oh, God, he got me twice.

[1:01:51] Say again, middle name withheld, last name withheld.

[1:01:54] So does that mean we're still on double secret probation or triple secret probation?

[1:02:00] I think we're on quadruple secret.

[1:02:01] Oh, no kidding.

[1:02:02] I don't know why they keep it a secret at this point.

[1:02:05] They just tell everyone we're on probation.

[1:02:06] We should be on like wanted posters.

[1:02:08] Call the newspapers.

[1:02:09] I kind of want more people to write in with tales of the house cat.

[1:02:12] Now the house cat has affected their life.

[1:02:14] Yeah, I'll allow it.

[1:02:18] As the keeper of the house cat.

[1:02:21] It is my burden.

[1:02:23] This next letter is titled Late Night Sex Noirs, Sex Noirs, Sex Noirs, Dear Dan, Stu

[1:02:31] and Elliot Charles Kaelin.

[1:02:32] Oh, full name.

[1:02:33] Thank you for some reason.

[1:02:35] But mostly, Dan, discussions of bikini movies are fine and all.

[1:02:39] But there's more to early 90s Cinemax than car washes and Willie Talsalt.

[1:02:43] Not as far as I'm concerned.

[1:02:44] Have we forgotten the majesty of Shannon Worry?

[1:02:46] Have we lost our collective minds?

[1:02:48] Why no references to Animal Instincts 2, Mirror Images 2, and other dark psychological

[1:02:53] tales of big brush to danger?

[1:02:55] I'm asking for a friend.

[1:02:56] Purposefully last name withheld.

[1:02:58] For a friend.

[1:02:59] Or let's not forget Private Obsession, the movie where Shannon Worry is kidnapped.

[1:03:03] Yeah.

[1:03:03] It's really gross.

[1:03:04] I like, uh, my favorite was Lake Consequence.

[1:03:08] That's Zalman King, dude.

[1:03:09] Like Billy Zane, a young Billy Zane.

[1:03:12] What was the consequence of that, Lake?

[1:03:13] Uh, I think this woman had sex with some, like, carny or something.

[1:03:19] I mean, I like consequence.

[1:03:20] That sounds more like a reward.

[1:03:22] Now, Shannon Worry has a special place in the, in the feeding food chain because she

[1:03:27] was the poor man's Shannon Tweed.

[1:03:30] Yeah.

[1:03:30] From Sexual Response.

[1:03:32] Yes.

[1:03:32] And it's my favorite one of those.

[1:03:33] And it's, I just think it's funny that they're like, we need another big boobed

[1:03:38] woman who's named Shannon to do these movies.

[1:03:40] Mm-hmm.

[1:03:42] Yeah.

[1:03:42] Cause they're expecting people to pick up the fucking VHS and start reading the

[1:03:46] names and stop after Shannon and be like, Oh, Shannon's in this, I'll take it.

[1:03:51] And Shannon Worry's other trademark was that she always dressed really classy.

[1:03:54] That's what she wore.

[1:03:55] She, yeah.

[1:03:57] I feel like she did it.

[1:03:58] She did a lot of like wearing hats with black veils and like gloves and, and

[1:04:03] like, and like a skirt suits, you know, she always looked like she was getting

[1:04:08] dressed for sexy ladies tea at a social club.

[1:04:11] Sorry.

[1:04:11] That terrible, that terrible pun led me to want to make a pun about a

[1:04:14] Joan Severance package, but I couldn't come up with it.

[1:04:18] I think that's fine.

[1:04:19] We'll fill in the rest.

[1:04:19] Yeah.

[1:04:20] Uh, your time here serving as black scorpion has been great, Joan.

[1:04:25] Um, I think you'll find this is more than adequate to take care of

[1:04:28] you for the next couple of months.

[1:04:30] Uh, I think, what are we going to say?

[1:04:31] Like, does he want us to cover every softball movie?

[1:04:35] I think it's impossible.

[1:04:36] What I wanted to say, but I think that we've covered this to some degree in

[1:04:39] the past, where I know that you and I, Elliot, at least, I don't know about

[1:04:42] Stuart, are on the same page where like, I'm not so much a fan of the, like

[1:04:47] the erotic thriller, erotic thriller, because they always seem to be like,

[1:04:50] someone's out there killing strippers.

[1:04:52] And I'm like, well, I don't want strippers to be killed.

[1:04:55] They're like, there are those movies where you each care, each stripper, you

[1:04:59] have a strip scene and a sex scene, and then they get killed and it's like,

[1:05:03] yeah, well, why can't they just strip and have sex and then go about their day?

[1:05:06] Why can't they have fun having sex?

[1:05:07] I don't understand.

[1:05:08] Yeah, we prefer the more lighthearted.

[1:05:09] I don't want it as punitive.

[1:05:10] I mean, like.

[1:05:11] If I, if I'm going to, if I'm going to see girls boobs, I want

[1:05:13] the girls to be having fun.

[1:05:14] Yeah.

[1:05:15] Well, and, and like those bikini movies, like say the bikini accidentally falls

[1:05:19] off, like they seem to be pretty okay with it.

[1:05:21] Like, even in those like situations, it's just like, ah, I'm going to go with this.

[1:05:27] I'm having, I'm having a delightful time all of a sudden.

[1:05:29] You're getting it.

[1:05:30] Now you're getting a little too specific.

[1:05:31] Like, do you prefer the hand of God removed at the time?

[1:05:33] I guess the end of screwballs.

[1:05:35] I'm just saying.

[1:05:37] Like, were they praying to, praying to some kind of, uh,

[1:05:41] it's the end of the stand.

[1:05:42] Except it's praying to fucking Aeolus or something.

[1:05:48] What I'm trying to get across here is like, some could argue that there's

[1:05:52] like a sexism there too, where it's just like, oh, like there's like this,

[1:05:55] like, of course there's a sexism.

[1:05:57] Obviously.

[1:05:57] Treating women as objects.

[1:05:58] Yeah, anybody could argue that.

[1:05:59] Obviously there's a sexism.

[1:06:01] But like the idea isn't just like, oh, it's horrible that this is happening.

[1:06:06] It's like you're trying not to scare them.

[1:06:08] The women seem to be in those movies, delighted, uh, participants in what's going on.

[1:06:13] Movies where women are object, used as sex objects, but then not victimized or

[1:06:19] destroyed as penance for having done it.

[1:06:22] Exactly.

[1:06:23] It's, it's kind of like, yeah, it's, you'd rather see a movie where the women are.

[1:06:27] You've not, if anything, rewarded or just like, yeah, you want them to be enjoying

[1:06:31] it, rather than like, okay, she took off her clothes.

[1:06:35] I liked it, but that means she's dirty.

[1:06:37] So strangler in the dark.

[1:06:38] Like, yeah, like in Tony Perkins, come out and stab her.

[1:06:42] Well, there's night of the demons.

[1:06:43] Tony Perkins, the, the, uh, like Anthony Perkins.

[1:06:47] Well, I'm talking about Psycho.

[1:06:48] Cause he, cause Psycho was not like, there was no nudity in that.

[1:06:52] No, but the point was like.

[1:06:53] Were you watching Zalman King's Psycho, Red Shoe Psychos?

[1:06:56] He was punishing a woman who is.

[1:06:58] Yes.

[1:06:58] Yeah.

[1:06:59] Yeah.

[1:07:00] Anyway, I was thinking you could go more with a movie like, uh, like

[1:07:02] lap dance or something like that.

[1:07:05] I was just going to say in how, in night of the demons too, the one, uh, I just

[1:07:10] want to get this point across.

[1:07:12] Yes.

[1:07:12] That's very important.

[1:07:13] It's a very important point about night of the demons too.

[1:07:15] Night of the demons too.

[1:07:16] The one, uh, the one female character who gets naked and has sex is the heroine of

[1:07:20] the movie and she survives the whole time.

[1:07:22] She doesn't get punished at all.

[1:07:24] She punishes the demons.

[1:07:25] Yeah.

[1:07:26] Although she has to go through the whole experience about fighting and

[1:07:28] killing demons.

[1:07:29] So that's terrible.

[1:07:30] All right.

[1:07:30] Well, it's a real, uh, punch for feminism.

[1:07:33] Night of the demons too.

[1:07:34] Yeah.

[1:07:35] But the last letter of the evening, uh, is titled help.

[1:07:39] And it goes like this.

[1:07:39] It says, dear help.

[1:07:40] I need somebody help.

[1:07:42] Not just anybody.

[1:07:43] Last name withheld.

[1:07:44] Yeah.

[1:07:44] Ringo last name.

[1:07:46] Dear crop house.

[1:07:47] My corn isn't growing and I will surely starve come winter.

[1:07:50] What course of action might you recommend I take?

[1:07:53] Regards, Jeremad, last name withheld.

[1:07:56] So you might've written into the wrong podcast.

[1:07:59] I don't like miracle grill.

[1:08:00] Maybe I don't know.

[1:08:03] I mean, maybe if you try rotating it, if you can get a boy step farming, if you can

[1:08:08] get a boy with leaves on his ankles, maybe that'll help.

[1:08:11] Then we can maybe get pumpkin head or the children of the corn involved.

[1:08:16] I don't know one of the corn involved that you think that that's going to be

[1:08:21] helpful, but it is not.

[1:08:22] What about the band corn?

[1:08:23] Sure.

[1:08:25] What is it?

[1:08:25] The 90s.

[1:08:31] But now it's time for the final segment.

[1:08:33] Letters.

[1:08:35] No, we literally just finished that segment.

[1:08:39] Stuart sounded so happy.

[1:08:41] Let's just please him.

[1:08:42] Okay.

[1:08:42] Let's do letters again.

[1:08:44] Let's do some more letters.

[1:08:46] Letters are coming in from all over the world.

[1:08:50] I changed my mind.

[1:08:51] You know what?

[1:08:52] That song wasn't so great.

[1:08:54] A little pitchy dog.

[1:08:56] Well, so this is the final segment where we recommend movies that we actually

[1:09:02] enjoyed in a non good bad way.

[1:09:05] Unlike Easy Rider, The Ride Back.

[1:09:09] So, Stu, you've got your notebook open.

[1:09:11] You're raring to go.

[1:09:13] I'm prepared because this is also important to me.

[1:09:14] Okay.

[1:09:15] And it's not Night of the Demons, too, although it kind of fits the subject that

[1:09:18] I want to cover.

[1:09:19] So I figure since we watched a sequel to a movie that probably did not need a

[1:09:25] sequel, I'm going to recommend a movie that was a sequel to another movie that

[1:09:29] you didn't expect, and that's Blade II directed by Guillermo del Toro.

[1:09:37] It was Guillermo del Toro's second vampire movie after Kronos, another movie

[1:09:43] I think I recommended, and it followed Blade, which was a kind of mediocre action

[1:09:52] movie with some light horror elements, though it was financially successful.

[1:10:00] And I feel like Blade II kind of improved on every single element that was of the first one.

[1:10:05] It played up the horror element more, the action scenes were more varied.

[1:10:09] You swapped out a villain where the first one had Stephen Dorff as this kind of like

[1:10:14] smug, like politicking vampire dude. You swapped him out for Luke Goss from the British boy band

[1:10:24] Bros, who is more like a brooding and brutal bad guy. And got a better supporting cast with

[1:10:33] Ron Perlman. And you really got like, it's an, I wouldn't say an early Guillermo del Toro movie,

[1:10:41] but you still got some, you have some really great little touches, the slow build up to the

[1:10:46] reveal of the genuinely disturbing vampire zombie monster creatures. And I think it's a really

[1:10:53] effective action horror movie. And for me, it was, it kind of came out at a time when I first

[1:11:00] started collecting DVDs and yeah, I watched it all. You collected every copy of Blade II.

[1:11:06] I collected every copy in the world. Yeah, they're shit ton of those. And I'm sitting on them.

[1:11:12] To appreciate and value. Or get a part of your plan.

[1:11:16] They're gonna hatch into a, you guys got a DVD player, right? Yeah.

[1:11:21] I would like to recommend a movie called The East, which stars and was written by

[1:11:32] Britt Marling, who also wrote movies with the same director whose name I can't recall.

[1:11:40] The Sound of My Voice and Another Earth, both of which I have not seen, but I've heard good

[1:11:46] things about. No, I think I appreciate the fact that she is generating kind of her own material

[1:11:53] for herself. And by all reports, it's all interesting stuff. But The East is a thriller

[1:12:00] about a woman who works in private security. She used to be in the FBI, but now she just

[1:12:06] works in corporate security, who infiltrates a eco-terrorism group called The East,

[1:12:12] whose members include Ellen Page, who plays one of the members that's probably the biggest name.

[1:12:19] Silver Martin Candy? Yeah. That's what she's best known for, yeah.

[1:12:24] But it's... Ellen Page of X-Men 2. It's not... No, it was 3. X-Men The Last Stand.

[1:12:31] Whatever. It's not a super great movie. It kind of falls apart at the end. It kind of gets

[1:12:36] very sort of optimistic and unrealistic at the very end, in a way that is sort of surprising

[1:12:45] because the rest of the movie seems devoted to trying to at least simulate a kind of realism,

[1:12:51] even though the actual developments of the movie aren't necessarily that realistic.

[1:12:55] But as a stylish character-based thriller, I think it's a solid movie if you enjoy kind of

[1:13:03] low-key thrillers. Thrillers about low-key. Okay. Thor's brother. Yeah. So Thor and Thor 2

[1:13:09] and The Avengers is what I'm recommending. So what movie are you recommending? The East.

[1:13:13] The East. Yeah. Elliot? I'm going to recommend... I haven't gotten to see too many movies lately,

[1:13:19] unfortunately, but I'm going to recommend one that I saw recently that I almost feel kind of

[1:13:24] bad about recommending because it's kind of the stereotypical intellectual movie, I guess,

[1:13:32] that I've been filling in holes of movies that I had heard a lot about when I was younger and

[1:13:36] never saw. And I recently watched My Dinner with Andre. I totally thought that that was what you

[1:13:42] were going to say. Yeah. It's a stereotypical intellectual movie. To recommend it feels kind

[1:13:47] of stupid because it's almost like if you were going to see this movie, you'd have seen it,

[1:13:51] except I hadn't, and I really enjoyed it. Maybe there's a bunch of people out there

[1:13:56] afraid to watch this movie. Well, it's a lot more enjoyable. I find like it's gotten so

[1:14:00] stereotyped as like, this is, oh, that's like a smart, boring person's movie. And I'm sure there's

[1:14:05] a lot of people who won't like it, but the things that Andre, Gregory, and Walshawn are talking

[1:14:10] about are so insane. And they are two men who are at a terribly bleak moment in their lives,

[1:14:17] sitting in this very fancy restaurant and like talking about these bizarre experiences that

[1:14:22] they've had and how almost semi-pointless life is in a way that was pretty funny a lot of the time

[1:14:28] also. I really enjoyed it and there was no point where, and it's just two guys talking over dinner

[1:14:32] for the whole movie, but there was no point where I was like, oh, come on, boring. But so I really

[1:14:38] enjoyed it, but I feel like I'm falling into a trap almost or a stereotype by recommending it.

[1:14:44] So to balance that out, I'm going to recommend, instead of Easy Rider, a sequel that I like

[1:14:49] better than the original and that, like Stuart did, and that's Evil Dead 2. So do an 80s double

[1:14:55] feature, My Dinner with Andre, and then Evil Dead 2. What order should you watch, man? Oh, end with Evil Dead 2,

[1:15:01] come on. But I think you'll find that maybe they have a similar sensibility more than you think.

[1:15:08] I don't think you'll find that. No. They're both great. But I guess what I'm saying is just because

[1:15:13] you like Evil Dead 2 doesn't mean you might not like My Dinner with Andre, and you should give

[1:15:16] it a shot. All right, so My Dinner with Andre 2. At the very least, it gives you a little snapshot

[1:15:22] of New York in the early 80s that is always interesting to see. All right, well, it's come

[1:15:29] the time where Stuart needs to rev up his motorcycle, I need to crawl into his sidecar,

[1:15:34] and Ellie needs to crawl into his other sidecar. There's two sidecars. It's not really a motorcycle

[1:15:38] so much as a car. It's like the Fantasticar. It balances out the motorcycle. It's like a motorcycle

[1:15:43] with big training wheels. Yeah, in the form of people. Yeah. Oh, training wheels are made out of

[1:15:50] people. Soylent wheels. And we're going to drive off into the sunset. I got a question about

[1:15:57] Soylent Green. Okay. What ad wizard thought soylent, something that sounds like soiled,

[1:16:02] would be a good thing to put in your food product? But it sounds like soy. But it's like, I guess,

[1:16:07] but it also sounds like... When you hear people say, like, would you like some soy sauce? You're

[1:16:10] like, no, thank you. That sounds like soiled sauce. Soylent sounds like soiled underpants.

[1:16:16] Sounds like soiled lint. Yeah. That you got out of the lint. And now you're eating it. That sounds

[1:16:20] delicious, dude. When they were like, Soylent Green's made out of people, people were like,

[1:16:23] oh, thank God. I thought it was made out of soiled lint. That turns green from mold. Also,

[1:16:28] why make it green? All right. Well, we'll puzzle this out off air, but... Ask Slimer. For the

[1:16:34] Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy. Wait, what? I've been Dan McCoy, you asshole. I've been

[1:16:41] Stuart Wellington, you asshole. And I've been Elliot Kalen. Beep boop. That's how you do a

[1:16:45] fucking robot impression, Stuart. Call that. Good night. I watched Big Trouble in Wall Street

[1:16:56] again last night. Yeah, exactly. Black Blood of the Earth. It's such a good movie. I mean,

[1:17:00] Black Blood of the Earth. Basically, it boils down to a love story between a man and his truck.

[1:17:08] Mm hmm. Aren't you gonna kiss her? I gotta get going. You know what old Jack Burton says at a

[1:17:16] time like this? Who? Jack Burton. Me. I like hearing you guys talk about the movie so much

[1:17:24] more than I like watching the movie.

The Flop House: Episode #152 - Easy Rider: The Ride Back

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