The Flop House: Episode #155 - Last Vegas

Dan McCoy

[0:00] It's grumpy old hangover as we discuss the geriatric comedy, Last Vegas.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:35] And this is Stuart Wellington.

[0:38] And over here, Elliot Kalin.

Elliott Kalan

[0:40] And we are the Flophouse.

[0:44] Consisting of...

[0:45] Dan McCoy.

[0:46] Elliot Kalin.

[0:47] And Stuart Wellington as...

[0:49] The Flophouse.

[0:51] In...

Dan McCoy

[0:52] The Flophouse.

[0:53] Brought to you by...

[0:55] All Things Comedy and...

[0:58] Shutterstock.

[1:00] Wait, no, not that.

[1:02] Squarespace.

[1:02] Ignore that last part.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04] Wow.

[1:04] Forget it. Forget it, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06] The least professional podcast in podcastdom.

[1:10] So hopefully you fast forward a little bit.

[1:12] So what do we do in this podcast, Dan?

[1:14] Meat and potatoes.

[1:14] We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[1:16] Let me just say that because you screw it up every time.

Dan McCoy

[1:17] Let me just say...

[1:18] We watch a podcast and then we talk about a movie.

[1:21] We're taping this episode the day before my birthday.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24] Oh, wow.

[1:25] That's right.

[1:26] I don't see any presents anywhere.

[1:29] Our presents is our presents.

[1:30] I assume that they're still on order.

Dan McCoy

[1:34] So it's all right.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35] You still have a day.

[1:36] I got a shipping notification from adamandeve.com.

[1:41] Thanks.

[1:43] Your subscription to White's Butts DVDs.

Dan McCoy

[1:47] Is it something that you'll both enjoy?

[1:50] Wait, me and you?

[1:51] Yeah.

[1:52] Yeah, probably.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53] Are we going to watch them together?

[1:54] Yeah.

[1:54] The joke that launched a thousand short stories sent to us.

[1:58] So, yeah, this is a...

[2:01] Well, Dan, if it counts, I haven't had a lot of time to get out of the house, but I've

[2:04] been making something for you out of the materials at hand.

[2:06] So I hope you enjoy the world's largest collection of baby poop.

Dan McCoy

[2:12] Well, I mean, anything that gets me in the Guinness book.

[2:15] He's a good eater, your son, huh?

Elliott Kalan

[2:17] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[2:17] He's an even better pooper.

Dan McCoy

[2:19] Or is he like one of those House of Leaves house?

[2:22] If he's pooping more than he's eating, then that is a bad thing.

Elliott Kalan

[2:24] Well, right now, the theory is that...

[2:26] Like the conservation of matter would not...

[2:28] Somewhere in his intestine is a portal to the separate chain in another universe.

[2:30] To the elemental plane of turds, yeah.

[2:32] Yeah.

[2:32] Right.

[2:33] Because a lot of, like, pieces of metal...

[2:36] The kind of stuff you saw in the Dianoga trash compactor scene in Star Wars.

[2:41] There's been a lot of that in his diaries.

[2:42] All the things you would feed a goat.

Dan McCoy

[2:44] He's some sort of Iron Man.

[2:46] Well, certainly his guts, yeah.

[2:49] But anyway, as you said, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and we talk about

[2:53] it.

[2:53] Tonight, we watched a movie called Last Vegas.

Elliott Kalan

[2:58] The sequel to...

[2:59] Las Vegas!

[3:00] No.

[3:01] Penultimate Vegas.

[3:03] This is the...

[3:04] Not a sequel, but it's kind of a rip-off.

[3:06] Of the Hangover movies.

[3:08] And Sandlot.

Dan McCoy

[3:09] I mean, in that it's about a bachelor party that occurs in Las Vegas.

Elliott Kalan

[3:13] Yeah, so you take a little bit of the Sandlot, or stand by me, just a little bit.

[3:16] Age it a lot.

[3:17] Throw a dash of Hangover in there and a little bit of, like, what, Bucket List?

[3:21] Yeah.

[3:21] And you've got Last Vegas.

Dan McCoy

[3:22] It's your basic grumpy old Vegas.

[3:26] That's a good one.

[3:27] That's a better title.

[3:27] This is the second movie in the past four movies that features Robert De Niro in a comedic

[3:36] role.

[3:37] Yeah.

[3:37] So it's got that going for it.

Elliott Kalan

[3:39] It does not have that going for it.

[3:41] No.

[3:41] That is not a...

[3:42] Although I will say this, and let's just get this right off the bat.

[3:44] Let's compliment this movie.

[3:45] Okay.

[3:45] Let's say a nice thing.

[3:47] The four stars of this movie, Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Robert De Niro, and Kevin

[3:51] Klein.

[3:51] Hollywood royalty.

[3:53] Hollywood royalty.

[3:54] Michael Douglas is the Duke of Bel Air.

[3:56] Mm-hmm.

[3:57] Morgan Freeman is the Viscount of Beverly Hills, let's say.

[4:02] Okay.

[4:02] Kevin Klein is, of course, the King of Kong.

[4:05] And did I mention Robert De Niro is one of the Borgias?

[4:09] As Shicky.

[4:10] Yes.

[4:11] As himself.

[4:13] So they, aside from Michael Douglas, who I can take or leave, they...

Dan McCoy

[4:18] At this point, I would more likely take or leave Robert De Niro.

Elliott Kalan

[4:21] I think Robert De Niro...

[4:22] I'd take them both, man.

[4:23] They're great.

[4:24] I say Kevin Klein and Morgan Freeman really charismaed up the joint.

[4:28] Yeah.

[4:29] They are the high points of the movie.

[4:30] I will say that this is a funnier role for Robert De Niro than Grudge Match was, if only

[4:34] because he's not the energetic guy.

[4:37] He is the laconic guy, which is what he does normally anyway.

[4:41] He's not particularly good in it, but there are a few moments where it's like, oh, Robert

[4:45] De Niro just doing that Robert De Niro face he does, where he's like, meh, meh, works

[4:49] for the moment.

[4:49] It's me, Robert De Niro, meh.

[4:51] But if this was just Kevin Klein and Morgan Freeman, better movie.

Dan McCoy

[4:55] Yeah.

[4:55] No, they are pretty delightful in it, I gotta say, for a movie that's not that very good.

Elliott Kalan

[5:00] They triumph over a movie that has almost no writing, and as Stuart, I think, said, barely

[5:05] is a movie.

[5:06] But it's more a series of vacation slides of Las Vegas.

Dan McCoy

[5:10] It's a rough assemblage of scenes organized around the theme of old people in Las Vegas.

Elliott Kalan

[5:17] It does kind of feel like Dennis Hopper's last movie type thing, where they sent a director

[5:22] to Las Vegas with these guys.

[5:25] They shot like 400 hours of footage and then disappeared.

[5:28] And the studio had to reclaim what was left and just cut a movie out of it.

[5:31] And there's just scenes that don't go anywhere, scenes that go on for too long, scenes that

[5:36] seem to stop in the midst of a joke.

[5:38] Yeah.

[5:38] And any time a character laughs at something another character said, they're like, great,

[5:42] end the scene.

[5:43] Let's get out of here.

Dan McCoy

[5:44] Yeah.

[5:44] Get out on a laugh.

[5:45] I don't think that means when the characters are laughing.

[5:48] That's what the audience laughs.

Elliott Kalan

[5:48] Get out on a laugh, I said.

[5:50] All right.

[5:51] But should we talk about the plot?

[5:53] Yeah, why not?

[5:54] I mean, if you can.

[5:55] So we're introduced to these.

[5:57] It's 1950-100, let's say, in Flatbush Brooklyn.

[6:01] Amber color.

Dan McCoy

[6:02] And honestly, is there any reason for this movie to start out in the past?

[6:07] Like, having seen the whole movie now.

Stuart Wellington

[6:09] We have to realize that they were kids once.

[6:11] It shows that these guys have been kids.

[6:12] And they didn't spring forth from some wrinkled womb.

[6:14] Okay.

[6:15] Wrinkled themselves like horrible raisin men.

Elliott Kalan

[6:18] Like California rings?

Stuart Wellington

[6:20] Aside from that.

[6:21] No, those are great raisin men, dude.

[6:22] Have some fucking respect.

Elliott Kalan

[6:24] That you're saying that old people are born from old women?

Stuart Wellington

[6:27] Is what you're saying?

[6:27] Well, in this case, they could be.

[6:29] We don't know.

[6:29] But luckily, they show us.

Elliott Kalan

[6:30] If an old woman gave birth to a baby, it would come out old like a Benjamin Button?

Dan McCoy

[6:34] Yeah.

[6:35] Like, old is a genetic trait.

[6:37] You're saying they did not spring untimely from their mother's womb.

[6:39] It was, like, over-timely from their mother's womb.

[6:42] Yeah, like if there's a movie about two mummies.

Elliott Kalan

[6:44] Ripped untimely from his mother's womb means that it was a C-section.

[6:47] Not that she was old and he was old.

Stuart Wellington

[6:50] Just like how in Dead Alive the two zombies have a zombie baby.

[6:53] If two mummies had a baby, it would be like, I don't know, Morgan Freeman, I guess.

[6:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[6:57] Okay, there you go.

[6:58] Mummy baby Morgan Freeman.

[7:00] Yeah.

[7:02] Well, here's the thing.

[7:04] It's 1950 whatever.

[7:05] We're introduced to four friends, the Flatbush Four, they call themselves.

[7:09] And their personalities are already right there.

[7:12] Robert Nero's character is sullen and punches people.

[7:15] Kevin Kline's character is a bit of a nerd.

[7:18] Michael Douglas' character is the fast-talking slickster and Morgan Freeman is black.

[7:22] And those are their character dynamic personalities.

[7:24] Sure.

[7:25] A guy in a leather jacket threatens them or something and they steal a bottle of scotch and punch him and run away.

[7:32] Mm-hmm.

[7:32] Yeah.

[7:32] So these are hooligans.

[7:34] It's one of those things where, like...

[7:35] It's a legend.

[7:36] If you set a scene now in a movie and kids, like, stole a bottle of liquor and punched a guy, they'd be like, oh, these are bad kids.

[7:44] But in the 50s, anything goes.

Dan McCoy

[7:46] Flash forward 58 years, just like the Bratz movie.

[7:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[7:49] Because it's 58 years later, it's their sophomore year of high school.

[7:53] Things are not going well.

[7:55] They've been held back 50 times.

[7:58] But anyway, that's besides the point.

[8:00] Bratz and so forth.

[8:01] That joke didn't work out.

[8:02] Let's keep moving, shall we?

[8:03] 58 years later, they all have their problems.

[8:05] Kevin Kline is living in Florida doing aquaerobics.

[8:08] He feels old.

[8:08] But he looks great.

[8:10] But he's in great shape.

[8:11] He does not need to do aquaerobics.

[8:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[8:12] He's married to his wife, Joanna Gleeson, who you may remember as the baker's wife from Into the Woods.

[8:20] Yeah, if you watch it on PBS or something.

[8:21] Yeah, if you saw the great performances.

[8:23] She was also in West Wing.

[8:25] They were good performances.

Elliott Kalan

[8:26] Okay.

[8:27] So...

[8:28] They didn't church it up.

[8:28] People would be disappointed.

[8:29] She was in West Wing as the baker's wife, returning to that character.

Dan McCoy

[8:31] Yeah, but I'm just pointing out, you got your Kevin Kline, you got your Joanna Gleeson's movie,

[8:35] Roger Bart shows up later.

[8:36] Yeah, there's a lot of Broadway.

[8:37] So it's all of your Broadway stars.

Elliott Kalan

[8:37] A lot of Broadway stars, by which I mean three.

[8:41] Sure.

[8:41] So he's in Florida hating his life.

[8:43] Morgan Freeman lives with his son's family, hates his life, takes a lot of pills.

[8:47] It's medicine pills, though.

[8:49] Robert De Niro is basically...

[8:51] It's not like...

[8:51] He's not taking, well, like, Molly?

[8:53] Is that what kids take?

[8:53] He's not taking moth balls?

[8:55] He's not a hop head.

[8:56] It's not like he's taking...

[8:58] A bunch of lewds?

[8:59] Uppers and downers and red bennies and, you know, things like that.

[9:05] He's not...

[9:05] Morgan Freeman is not like, yeah, buying pills off some guy in the back of a movie theater

[9:09] or something.

[9:11] I gotta keep the energy up so I can play with my grandkids.

[9:14] What do you got?

[9:15] What do you got?

[9:16] You gotta make me well, man.

[9:17] I gotta get well.

[9:18] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[9:19] Plays with his grandkids takes on a different meaning when it's Morgan Freeman.

Elliott Kalan

[9:22] Boom.

[9:23] Boom.

[9:23] Swish.

Dan McCoy

[9:24] Nothing but gross.

Elliott Kalan

[9:26] Anyway, moving on.

[9:27] Robert De Niro is a widowed shut-in.

[9:30] And Michael Douglas is about to marry a woman one quarter his age, 31 years old.

[9:36] I don't think that's one quarter his age.

[9:38] He is at least 120 years old.

[9:41] He's supposed to be 70.

[9:42] Come on.

Stuart Wellington

[9:43] I mean, he looks horrifying, right?

Elliott Kalan

[9:45] There's a part where he falls in a pool and when he gets out, he looks like Solomon Grunty.

[9:50] Like he just crawled out of a swamp.

[9:52] He's a half-decayed corpse.

[9:54] No offense to Michael Douglas.

[9:55] I really liked you in the Liberace movie.

[9:57] But you look like you are like the Crypt Keeper, but with a tan.

[10:00] Part of it's the costuming, right?

Dan McCoy

[10:03] Yeah.

[10:03] Makeup effects.

Elliott Kalan

[10:04] He is wearing like a tuxedo and heavy makeup.

Dan McCoy

[10:06] So that's Solomon Grunty.

[10:06] I mean, the costuming in that like his Michael Douglas' face is an old guy's with perfect bleached teeth.

Stuart Wellington

[10:13] Yeah, it's like Tom Zavini style effects.

[10:16] Yeah.

[10:18] Yeah.

[10:18] All of Tom Zavini's zombies had beautiful teeth.

Dan McCoy

[10:20] His head is filled with blood-filled condoms.

[10:24] So it's going to explode.

[10:26] Shoot.

Elliott Kalan

[10:27] It's a Tom Zavini effect.

[10:28] So anyway, Michael Douglas realizes he proposes to his girlfriend while he's giving a eulogy at the funeral of a friend of his.

[10:37] And this is not a good eulogy.

[10:39] Let's say non-traditional.

[10:40] He's playing it for laughs.

[10:42] He starts telling the guy in the casket what a loser he was, basically.

[10:45] I'm not going to give up like you.

[10:47] It's a Comedy Central roast of the guy in the casket.

[10:53] Michael Douglas would be a good get for that.

[10:55] Huge get.

[10:56] Oh, yeah.

[10:57] If he survived the ceremony.

[10:58] Mm-hmm.

[10:59] And then he...

[11:01] And on the spur of the moment...

Dan McCoy

[11:01] I like the idea that there are all these like roast funerals and just Lisa Lampanelli shows up for all of them.

Elliott Kalan

[11:07] Yeah.

[11:08] So this dead guy's here.

[11:09] Hey, too bad he's not black.

Dan McCoy

[11:10] Or Lisa Lampanelli can climb into the casket.

[11:12] There are all these people in the audience like, she doesn't even know the corpse.

[11:15] That's not fair.

Elliott Kalan

[11:16] A writer wrote that material.

[11:18] They don't know each other.

[11:19] That corpse had a real career.

[11:22] What does Tosh know about that corpse?

[11:25] Anyway.

[11:26] Anywho.

[11:27] So in the middle of his eulogy, he proposes this to his girlfriend.

[11:30] He tells his friends, except for Robert De Niro, because they had a falling out a year earlier.

[11:34] It seems...

[11:35] Foreshadowing.

[11:35] It seems Robert De Niro and Michael Douglas were both interested in the same girl when they were kids.

[11:40] Mm-hmm.

[11:41] Robert De Niro married her, and then she died a year ago, and Michael Douglas did not attend the funeral.

[11:46] I guess because he didn't have any roast jokes written for the occasion.

[11:48] Yeah.

[11:49] You know.

[11:50] Like, I just can't show up.

[11:51] They expect strong material from me, and I just don't have it right now.

[11:55] So they decide they're going to go on a bachelor weekend to where else but the sin of cities, the king of places, where you go for bachelors.

[12:05] Well, that was the first time where I actually...

Stuart Wellington

[12:07] Lost Vegas.

[12:07] I was kind of surprised by the movie, because I thought when Michael Douglas was calling all his buddies and showing off how great he is at using his phone by doing four-way calling or whatever, I thought he was going to...

Elliott Kalan

[12:17] And that's what gets this movie into the science fiction label, is that this is an old man who knows all the functions on his phone.

[12:23] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[12:24] So I expected him to be the, like, instigator for this whole thing.

[12:28] Yeah, like, come on, you guys.

Dan McCoy

[12:29] You've got to come out.

[12:29] I'm getting married finally.

Stuart Wellington

[12:30] But it's Kevin Kline, the Floridian Santa Claus character, who...

[12:35] He just has a beard.

[12:38] So does Santa Claus?

Elliott Kalan

[12:39] He's not so much Santa Claus as Art Carney from Harry and Tonto.

Dan McCoy

[12:43] Yeah, he's just an old guy who's, you know, loves his wife, but he's a little tired of being in Florida and being married.

[12:48] He doesn't want to...

Elliott Kalan

[12:49] Well, he's tired of being old.

[12:50] Yeah.

[12:50] He doesn't want to feel old.

[12:52] Yeah.

[12:52] And he is...

[12:53] Basically, they all feel this way.

Stuart Wellington

[12:54] He wants to have a last vega, if you will.

[12:56] He feels put out to pasture.

[12:58] They all feel...

Elliott Kalan

[12:59] He wants to come back away from the pasture.

Dan McCoy

[13:01] They're a bunch of space cowboys who feel like they've got something else to offer.

Elliott Kalan

[13:04] Yeah, yeah.

[13:04] They're on a boat trip.

[13:06] Wait, that's not an old person movie.

[13:08] Out to sea.

[13:08] I mean, Roger Moore's pretty old in that.

Dan McCoy

[13:11] They've got absolute power.

[13:13] That's just the Clint Eastwood movie.

[13:15] It's pretty old, isn't it?

Elliott Kalan

[13:16] They're getting their blood work done so that they can drive a Gran Torino into a million dollar baby.

Dan McCoy

[13:24] They've got a real grudge match.

[13:25] There you go.

Elliott Kalan

[13:26] Okay, that's an old person thing.

[13:27] Yeah, yeah.

[13:28] Anyway, yeah.

[13:28] It's a real best exotic Marigold Hotel.

Stuart Wellington

[13:32] So there's some hilarious laugh-em-ups as they all find their way to Las Vegas.

Elliott Kalan

[13:37] They all escape, and Kevin Kline's wife, before he goes, gives him a card that says,

[13:41] What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and taped to it is one Viagra pill and one condom.

Dan McCoy

[13:47] She gives him a hall pass, if you will.

[13:49] Trademark.

[13:50] Trademark me.

[13:51] No, you didn't.

[13:52] Oh, wow.

[13:52] Trademark Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[13:53] It's a movie.

[13:53] There's a movie called Hall Pass.

Dan McCoy

[13:55] Check it.

[13:55] That's patent trolling, right?

Elliott Kalan

[13:56] Trademark.

[13:56] Yeah, it is exactly patent trolling.

[13:58] It's exactly what it is.

[13:59] And you, sir, are a pox on society.

[14:01] You're hurting innovation.

[14:02] You're hurting small business.

[14:04] Whatever.

[14:05] They gotta pay me for that.

[14:06] Oh, now go live under your patent bridge and eat patent billy goats, you patent troll.

[14:12] Answer me these patent questions three, or across my bridge ye shall not be.

Dan McCoy

[14:20] Anyway, Kevin Kline.

[14:21] I like this patent troll character.

Elliott Kalan

[14:23] So does he just, like, comb through the libraries and the patent office all the time,

[14:28] scurrying through the dark hallways to see what hasn't been patented?

Dan McCoy

[14:30] Yeah, he's like, I got your horns patented, gruff.

Elliott Kalan

[14:34] Those are mine.

[14:35] I patented the concept of eating a tin can, goats.

Stuart Wellington

[14:39] Yeah.

[14:39] Oh, wow.

[14:40] A goat callback.

[14:41] Awesome.

[14:41] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[14:41] Anyway, so they go to Las Vegas.

[14:46] Kevin Kline wants to get laid.

[14:47] Morgan Freeman wants to feel young again.

[14:50] Robert De Niro doesn't want to be there.

[14:51] And Michael Douglas is just kind of wandering around.

[14:55] He wants to be with his buddies, you know.

[14:57] And there's at first a problem because they booked a room at, what was it, Binion's?

[15:02] Yeah.

[15:02] But Binion's is closed for renovation in a really unnecessary side tangent that we didn't need

[15:08] to experience.

[15:08] Except that it brings them into contact with a startlingly singing siren, a sultry starlet,

[15:16] a sensational sex symphony?

[15:21] Savvy?

[15:22] Sex lady.

Dan McCoy

[15:24] A snappy Steenburgen, if you will.

Elliott Kalan

[15:26] A Steenburgen comma Mary, known as Mary Steenburgen, who is singing her sultry seduction sonatas

[15:33] in the secluded space of the solitary, what's an S word for there's nobody there?

[15:42] I don't know.

[15:43] Sempty.

[15:44] Sempty of Sautian's members room at the Binion casino.

[15:49] They hang out with her for roughly 17 days.

[15:52] To find solace.

[15:53] To find solace in these septarians.

[15:57] Septagenarians?

Dan McCoy

[15:58] Yep.

[15:59] They all hit it off with her immediately and they basically just get her to leave work

[16:02] in the middle of her singing set.

Elliott Kalan

[16:04] There's no audience.

Dan McCoy

[16:05] There's like two other people in that audience.

Elliott Kalan

[16:07] I have to assume her backstory is that she owns the place and she sings there as a hobby

[16:10] or maybe like...

[16:11] She didn't explain that when she was explaining her personal history.

[16:14] That's true.

[16:15] Michael Douglas cut her off in the scene where we stopped paying attention.

Dan McCoy

[16:18] We were paying attention to the people in the background and the signs and such.

Elliott Kalan

[16:20] Because it was so much more interesting than what was happening in the foreground.

[16:23] So they go to...

Dan McCoy

[16:24] Binion's is on the old strip, right?

[16:26] It is on the old strip, yeah.

[16:27] So yeah, that's why it's also...

Elliott Kalan

[16:29] Now, you guys know Las Vegas.

[16:30] I've never been there.

[16:31] I have no real interest.

[16:32] But you guys have been there a lot.

Dan McCoy

[16:33] Oh yeah, we're fucking pros.

Elliott Kalan

[16:35] You're old vague hands.

Dan McCoy

[16:36] I mean, if...

[16:38] You're a bunch of Vegas.

[16:39] If two times...

[16:40] Well, we are.

[16:40] Yeah, yeah.

[16:41] Jumping around in Spain.

[16:41] Don't knock my mask off.

Stuart Wellington

[16:43] With your one Wolverine claw.

[16:44] You might mess up my beautiful face.

Dan McCoy

[16:46] No, I mean, you know...

[16:47] Sultry, Spaniard, Vega.

[16:49] Basically, all we're saying is like there's an old Las Vegas and then there's the new strip.

[16:54] The last Vegas, if you remember.

[16:55] And like, so Steenburgen is singing at the old, like, seedier casinos.

[17:00] And that's why no one's there.

[17:01] And then most of the thing takes place on the new strip.

Stuart Wellington

[17:04] I mean, because it's convenient for plot purposes that she can just leave work whenever she wants.

[17:07] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[17:08] Yeah.

[17:09] So they go to...

[17:09] Which hotel was it?

[17:11] Aria's.

[17:12] Aria's.

[17:13] I'm guessing sponsor of the movie.

[17:15] Because there are a lot of scenes set there showing how amazing it is.

[17:18] And how easy it is to win a $5 buffet coupon at their prize wheel.

[17:23] Is that a Las Vegas thing?

[17:25] I mean, that totally seems like something you would find.

[17:27] You just pay a dollar in the lobby for a Wheel of Fortune prize type thing?

[17:31] It's like an opening entranceway portal to gambling.

[17:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[17:35] Like, it's just a dollar and I can win $5 off the buffet.

[17:38] And next thing you know, you're sitting down at a blackjack table winning $100,000.

[17:42] It's the porthole of gambling.

[17:43] Yeah, the dark side of gambling.

Dan McCoy

[17:44] The dark side of gambling is, you might end up with too much money.

Elliott Kalan

[17:47] Ah, it doesn't fit in my pockets.

[17:49] Ah!

Dan McCoy

[17:50] Yeah.

[17:51] That's one of the first things that happens.

[17:53] We call that Brewster's Millions Syndrome.

Elliott Kalan

[17:54] So this is the first point where the characters split up and just kind of wander off like old men

[17:58] and have their own mini-adventures before going back to the main party

Stuart Wellington

[18:02] and going back on the main quest.

[18:03] We have a great little side quest with Roger Bart.

[18:07] Yeah.

[18:08] As a Madonna.

[18:09] Well, that's...

Elliott Kalan

[18:10] Kevin Kline sees a woman from behind, thinks it's a woman, goes and hits on her, turns out

[18:14] to be Roger Bart as a Madonna impersonator.

[18:17] And then they have a surprisingly long conversation that goes on for a while and they become past

[18:22] friends.

[18:23] Well, this is one of the...

[18:24] Like, this is...

[18:24] Past five friends.

[18:25] This is a weird scene in the movie.

[18:26] That's also patent-rolling.

[18:28] No, I copyrighted that.

[18:30] This is a weird...

[18:30] The idea of speedy numbers, that's mine.

Dan McCoy

[18:32] This is a weird scene in the movie because it does the normal thing, which is to...

[18:37] Like, you think it's setting this transvestite up as the butt of the joke that...

Elliott Kalan

[18:42] Like, he's gonna see it's a transvestite and go like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

[18:46] go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Dan McCoy

[18:47] But then, like, it ends up being like, Kevin Kline then has a lengthy, friendly conversation

[18:52] with him and his other...

[18:54] That seems super understanding of trans lifestyle.

Elliott Kalan

[18:56] Yeah, and his coworkers.

[18:57] I mean, they seem to be professional transvestites.

Dan McCoy

[18:59] Well, yeah, they've got a drag show.

Elliott Kalan

[19:01] But, like, it's just weird because it's just like...

[19:03] Talk about a drag show.

[19:04] I saw it.

[19:05] It was depressing.

[19:07] They reenact the lowest moment in every one of these female celebrities' lives.

[19:11] The Whitney Houston scene is impossible to sit through.

[19:14] I had to get up and leave.

[19:15] I thought when it was over, I finally walked in.

[19:18] That's when the Patty Hearst scene started.

[19:20] Oh, boy, was it rough.

Stuart Wellington

[19:21] Doesn't sound like a very popular drag character.

Elliott Kalan

[19:24] Patty Hearst?

[19:25] Patty Hearst.

[19:26] No.

[19:28] It was like a roller derby character.

[19:30] Patty Burst.

[19:31] Sure.

[19:32] I just found it interesting because it's just like...

[19:34] No, no, Patty Hearst would be the roller derby character.

[19:35] That's way better.

[19:36] I was going to say.

[19:36] Patty Hearst, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:37] It's like, how do I feel about this scene?

[19:39] They're still setting up the usual joke of a guy mistaking a guy in a dress for a lady.

[19:45] But now they're friends.

Stuart Wellington

[19:46] It's sort of understanding?

[19:49] It's so hard to be mad at Kevin Kline.

Elliott Kalan

[19:51] It's the one progressive moment in a movie which is otherwise old men leering at boobs

[19:56] for like an hour and 40 minutes.

[19:58] It's like, the one thing they don't have in the movie is Rondi Dangerfield like bugging

[20:02] his eyes out at a girl shaking her chest in his face.

[20:04] But they kind of do have that.

[20:06] Yeah, there's that great sequence where they...

Dan McCoy

[20:08] With LMFAO.

Elliott Kalan

[20:09] Where they are at an LMFAO-themed...

[20:12] Themed.

[20:12] LMFAO-hosted bikini contest.

[20:15] That's LMFAO-themed.

Dan McCoy

[20:16] Everyone wears retarded clothes.

[20:18] And sings that stupid song.

[20:19] I apologize for saying that word.

Elliott Kalan

[20:20] Yeah.

[20:21] LMFAO?

[20:21] Yeah, it's terrible.

[20:23] Anyway, so...

[20:23] Close.

Stuart Wellington

[20:25] So, yeah, they...

[20:26] We all know what word you should have said.

[20:27] You terrible person.

[20:27] Somehow they buy their way into a bikini judging contest.

Elliott Kalan

[20:31] Oh, well, so Morgan Freeman wins $100,000 at Blackjack because he cashed out his...

Stuart Wellington

[20:36] And he makes Turtle leave the table or something.

Elliott Kalan

[20:38] Turtle from Entourage, who's lost a lot of weight, gets uppity with him.

[20:41] Looking great.

[20:42] And they make him...

[20:44] And how do they make him leave?

[20:45] Do they just threaten him?

[20:46] I don't remember.

[20:46] He knocks a beer on him.

[20:48] Robert De Niro shows up and tells him to leave or something?

[20:50] No, no, no.

[20:51] Morgan Freeman knocks a beer on his lap.

Dan McCoy

[20:52] And he just gets frustrated?

[20:53] He knocks a Stella Artois for a beer on his lap.

Elliott Kalan

[20:56] Oh, okay.

[20:57] Well, so...

[20:58] Well, Michael...

[20:59] Well, people are taking turns hanging out with Mary Steenburgen.

[21:01] He wins this money.

[21:03] And they go to this LMFAO-hosted bikini contest where they get...

[21:08] I guess they buy positions as judges.

[21:09] And this scene is literally just like six straight minutes, it feels like, of them just looking

[21:16] at women in bikinis.

Dan McCoy

[21:17] Yeah, girls bouncing around bikinis.

[21:19] You missed the subtext, Elliot.

[21:20] LMFAO is going to lose their casino, so they need bikini girls to raise money to save it.

[21:25] I didn't realize that.

[21:26] Because gambling doesn't make enough money for them.

Elliott Kalan

[21:28] Or else party rockers, their casino, would be closed down and turned into condos for evil

[21:33] developers.

[21:34] Ooh.

[21:35] Reginald Buxworth!

[21:36] Yeah.

[21:37] The smooth jazz casino is going to come in.

[21:39] The third, my good man.

[21:40] The smooth...

[21:40] Yeah.

[21:41] Because Kenny G is going to knock it down and build a smooth jazz emporium.

Dan McCoy

[21:46] Your rock and roll has no place in Las Vegas.

[21:49] That's what he says.

Elliott Kalan

[21:50] We're all about keyboard music and vibraphones.

[21:54] So anyway, there's that.

[21:57] So there's this great...

[21:57] The lead guy from LFAO...

[21:58] What are you going to talk about?

Stuart Wellington

[21:59] I was going to say there's this great bikini contest where they just keep giving them all

[22:03] tens, which totally devalues that rating.

[22:06] Yeah.

[22:06] If you give everybody a ten...

[22:08] This is weighing.

[22:08] If everybody's a winner, everybody's a loser.

[22:10] It's the Rolling Stone three-star review of bikini contest.

Dan McCoy

[22:13] Exactly.

[22:14] You're like making the Incredibles argument.

[22:16] It's like, what is this, a participation award?

[22:18] Come on.

Elliott Kalan

[22:19] Exactly.

[22:20] But then an old lady comes out in a swimsuit and they give her an 11, which I assume means

[22:23] she wins whatever the prize is.

[22:25] And then the lead from LMFAO takes his pants off and waves his crotch in Robert De Niro's

[22:30] face and you think the scene's going to end with Robert De Niro ripping that man's throat

[22:34] out with his teeth.

[22:35] Instead, he gives him a zero and everyone's like, yeah!

Dan McCoy

[22:39] I assume this already exists on the internet.

[22:41] But he puts so much work into it.

[22:42] But if you want to make a gif of the guy from LMFAO rubbing his crotch in De Niro's face...

[22:47] Not rubbing.

[22:48] Shaking.

[22:48] There's no physical contact.

[22:49] Waggling his crotch in De Niro's.

[22:51] Waggling is a perfect word for it.

[22:52] I'm sure the director was like, you can waggle, just don't touch it.

[22:54] In a bejeweled bikini brief.

[22:56] It's in his contract.

Elliott Kalan

[22:57] Robert De Niro saw that part in the script and it said rubs and he crossed out and wrote

[23:03] waggles.

[23:05] Can we get...

[23:06] It's in my contract no more than...

[23:08] No less than two and a half inches from my face.

[23:10] Don't you think it'll be funnier if he doesn't touch me?

Stuart Wellington

[23:13] That's my De Niro impression.

[23:15] It's terrible.

Elliott Kalan

[23:15] No, that was very bad.

[23:18] Not like I can do a particularly good De Niro impression either.

[23:20] No, it goes like this.

[23:21] Hello, hello, hello.

Dan McCoy

[23:23] It's me, Robert De Niro.

Elliott Kalan

[23:24] What the fuck are you doing there, dude?

[23:26] It's me, Robert De Niro.

[23:29] I was in the Codfather part.

[23:31] I've got the patent on alo, alo, alo.

[23:34] Yeah, so we...

[23:35] England better pay you.

[23:36] Yeah.

[23:37] So they...

[23:37] Moving forward.

[23:38] Moving forward, which is not what the movie does.

[23:41] The characters wander around Las Vegas for a long time.

[23:43] They do young people stuff, but they're old.

[23:45] At some point they get...

[23:45] It's that Doritos Locust Red Bull taco commercial, whatever the hell it was.

[23:51] It's a whole movie of a Rappin' Granny.

[23:52] Yeah, it's...

[23:53] Yeah, this would be better if it's Rappin' Granny the movie, because I'll tell you what

[23:56] that is.

[23:57] Charting the rise and fall of this Rappin' Granny as she reaches for the stars but flies

[24:02] too close to the sun.

[24:03] And her old person wings of wax melt, dropping her to the gutter and rock bottom.

[24:09] So who's going to be the deadliest figure in this?

Dan McCoy

[24:11] Tonight on VH1 Behind the Music, Rappin' Granny.

Elliott Kalan

[24:14] Oh, I guess her agent is the...

[24:16] No, no.

[24:17] Her...

[24:17] No, yeah.

[24:17] Her agent is the daudalus figure.

[24:19] The daudalus?

[24:20] Yeah, because he always daudals.

[24:22] Nice.

[24:22] And she's, of course, yeah, the Icarus in that she is the son...

[24:26] She's the daughter of a man who built the labyrinth.

[24:29] And then they were trapped in it.

[24:30] Okay.

[24:31] The duditz figure.

[24:33] The duddy-crabbits figure.

[24:34] We're not allowed to talk about duditz.

[24:35] We're not doing a Dreamcatcher episode.

[24:39] So let's just skip to whatever the closest plot point is.

Stuart Wellington

[24:41] At some point they get...

[24:43] And because Morgan Freeman did so well at the casino with this gambling thing, they are

[24:48] given a...

[24:50] A comp.

[24:50] I guess some kind of a life ward by the name...

[24:52] Played by Romany Malco.

Elliott Kalan

[24:55] Yeah.

[24:55] A life ward.

[24:56] Maybe they're called...

[24:58] I won't make that issue.

[24:59] They're given an old man apprentice.

[25:01] Yeah.

[25:01] Yeah, exactly.

[25:02] Or he is...

Stuart Wellington

[25:03] As this movie was directed by the director of Sorcerer's Apprentice, I think that's

Elliott Kalan

[25:06] appropriate.

[25:06] Exactly.

[25:07] John Turtletog.

[25:08] They're given the massive suite that's usually reserved for 50 cent.

[25:13] And he shows up later in a hilarious cameo.

Dan McCoy

[25:17] Or he wants to join in the old man fun, but is turned away at the door.

[25:20] Because he's not an ARP member.

[25:22] Yeah.

[25:23] I wish that was it, though.

Stuart Wellington

[25:24] But anyway...

[25:25] It's a great ad for this, I guess, penthouse you can rent at this hotel.

[25:28] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[25:28] And they live at this penthouse and hang out with girls and...

[25:32] Yeah.

[25:34] They take turns hanging out with Mary Steenburgen.

[25:36] It turns out...

[25:37] Rob De Niro has a crush on her.

[25:38] Michael Douglas has a crush on her.

[25:40] She starts to feel affection for Michael Douglas.

[25:43] They throw a huge party for Michael Douglas that they invite every character we've seen in

[25:47] the movie to.

[25:48] Including, like, the cast of Cirque du Soleil.

[25:50] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[25:51] Roger Bart and his other drag friends.

[25:54] His other drag pals.

[25:56] Dragons, they're called.

[25:57] You got...

[25:57] Oh, there's women from the bachelorette party that they met down at the club.

[26:03] Turtle is there having become their slave after he is told that they are East Coast mob bosses

Elliott Kalan

[26:08] who could have him killed.

Dan McCoy

[26:08] Yeah, Romany Malco, for some reason, has decided to make them apologize...

[26:13] Turtle apologized to them for getting in fisticuffs by pretending that they're all mob people.

[26:19] And thus, Turtle is in fear of his life for the rest of the movie and does whatever they

[26:25] want him to because he doesn't want to die.

Stuart Wellington

[26:27] I think it's because somebody told him he'd get to act with Robert De Niro.

Elliott Kalan

[26:31] No, I can understand why he took the role.

[26:33] I don't understand why the character is doing that thing.

[26:36] So they throw this big party where all their dreams come true.

[26:40] Morgan Freeman sees his son who tracks him down and says...

Stuart Wellington

[26:43] Just like Draco Malfoy loves Dobby or Dobby or whatever the fuck you call that little guy.

Elliott Kalan

[26:47] Adobe, the car that's made out of clay?

Stuart Wellington

[26:49] Wait, a Dobo?

Elliott Kalan

[26:51] Yeah, a Dobo.

[26:52] A Bobo.

[26:53] From Final Fight, right?

Stuart Wellington

[26:54] No, that's Double Dragon.

Elliott Kalan

[26:56] The Bobos are those big guys.

Dan McCoy

[26:58] Oh, that's right.

[26:58] I got my side scrollers mixed up.

Elliott Kalan

[27:01] Anyway, is there any way we can talk less about this movie?

[27:03] They have a big party.

[27:06] Morgan Freeman's son catches up with him and he says,

[27:09] Hey, just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't want to dance, so let's hang out.

[27:13] Drink.

[27:13] Do we have a synchronized dance at that point?

[27:15] Yes, there certainly is.

[27:17] Kevin Kline and Morgan Freeman takes his time dancing with every one of the drag queens.

[27:21] Or, you know, cross-dressing performers.

[27:23] I don't know what the professional name is.

[27:26] Sure.

[27:27] Kevin Kline manages to snag a bridesmaid from the group of people who earlier told him that he reminds her of her grandpa.

[27:35] Yeah.

[27:35] But now she's totally into him and wants to have sex with his grandpa figure.

[27:40] But after she takes off her clothes, he realizes, you know what?

[27:43] If he can't share this experience with his wife who said, do what you want but don't tell me about it, then it isn't worth having.

[27:49] And so he says, hey, thanks, but no thanks.

Dan McCoy

[27:52] I found this denouement a little disappointing.

[27:55] Although I did like that the one.

[27:56] I mean, it was a way to trick her into seeing her boobs like in Screwballs.

[28:00] But I did kind of like the sweet moment of the woman being like, you know what?

[28:06] I wish I could marry a guy like you someday.

[28:08] And then Kevin Kline afterwards being like, but I bet a blowjob would be okay as she's leaving.

[28:14] Which was a ruder joke than I expected the movie to make.

Stuart Wellington

[28:18] Yeah, because you're like, man, he's a good guy and a creep just like me.

Elliott Kalan

[28:23] I think you're forgetting that I called that line.

[28:25] Yeah, that's true.

[28:26] Literally saying it a couple seconds before it happened.

[28:29] So who's the creep now?

[28:30] Elliot's the creep.

[28:31] You're right, dude.

[28:31] I'm the creep or am I secretly the author of Last Vegas?

[28:36] William F. Vegas.

Stuart Wellington

[28:38] Yeah, I just put myself into the mind of a creep to write this part.

Elliott Kalan

[28:43] It was difficult.

[28:44] I studied creeps.

[28:46] I read up on them.

[28:46] I followed Dan and Stuart around for a while.

[28:49] Hey, wait, why am I being brought into this?

[28:51] Well, two words.

[28:54] Warmy boner.

[28:54] Okay, yeah, I made that up.

[28:56] And let's continue.

[28:57] So Kevin Kline and Morgan Freeman, their character arcs are over.

[29:00] Now, Robert De Niro...

[29:01] They might as well die.

[29:02] Yeah, they might as well drop dead right now in the movie.

[29:04] Not in real life.

[29:05] They're national treasures.

[29:06] Robert De Niro says to Michael Douglas, do you really love this woman you're marrying?

[29:10] And Michael Douglas is like, ah, she's really nice.

[29:11] He's like, no, no, no.

[29:12] If you don't really love her, you shouldn't do it.

[29:15] And then Mary Steenburgen shows up at the party.

[29:18] They're both interested in her.

[29:20] And Michael Douglas pushes Robert De Niro into a pool so that he can get to her first.

Dan McCoy

[29:24] Which is really off limits.

[29:25] Like, of all the terrible things that they do.

[29:28] Like, he's an old man.

[29:30] Like, De Niro just elbows old Michael Douglas.

[29:34] No, no, no.

[29:34] Michael Douglas hip-checks Robert De Niro into the pool.

Elliott Kalan

[29:37] Michael Douglas could have broken his hip doing that.

[29:39] Yeah.

[29:40] If anything, you should...

Stuart Wellington

[29:40] Wait, Michael Douglas could have broken his hip hip-checking Robert De Niro?

[29:43] Yeah, yeah.

[29:44] Okay.

[29:45] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[29:45] Wait.

[29:46] Wait, what?

[29:47] He was in Grudge Match.

[29:48] He was in Grudge Match.

Stuart Wellington

[29:49] He's keeping it tight.

[29:50] And then he falls into the pool and then gets to do, like, some good, like, face wet acting.

[29:54] He does...

Elliott Kalan

[29:55] Robert De Niro's response when he falls into the pool, his facial expression, it's like

[29:59] he's in a Stooges movie.

[30:00] Yeah.

[30:00] And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Stuart Wellington

[30:03] He might as well have fallen into a vat of cream pies.

[30:06] Just like everything these old guys do in the movie, every time they do something, beautiful

[30:11] women flock to them because that's the coolest thing they could have ever possibly done.

Elliott Kalan

[30:15] Yeah.

[30:16] For some reason...

Dan McCoy

[30:17] It is very much a, like, arrested male fantasy, the whole movie.

Elliott Kalan

[30:21] Yeah.

[30:21] Oh, the idea that...

Stuart Wellington

[30:22] That you get to hang out with Kevin Kline and Morgan Freeman all the time?

Dan McCoy

[30:25] That you get to have a Las Vegas and ladies...

Elliott Kalan

[30:27] That men of any age are, like, catnip to big-breasted women in their mid to early 20s, I'm guessing.

[30:34] And also that...

Stuart Wellington

[30:34] And though the world has moved on, you are actually the coolest dude.

[30:36] I mean, I buy that with Kevin Kline, but no one else.

Elliott Kalan

[30:39] And also...

[30:39] But also that, like, this is...

[30:40] Well, yeah.

[30:41] I mean, he's great.

[30:41] Kevin Kline is great.

[30:42] The extras in this movie are cast like a Cinemax bikini movie.

[30:46] Every woman in the movie, aside from Mary Steenburgen, seems to be about 24 years old,

[30:51] super chesty and wearing either a bikini or a dress made out of, like, some kind of second

[30:57] skin fabric that just...

[31:00] But like Psylocke would wear.

[31:01] Like, I've never been to Las Vegas, but it seems like for a huge tourist destination, there

[31:04] were no tourists walking around.

[31:06] There was just, like, sexy ladies.

[31:08] Mm-hmm.

[31:08] Everywhere.

[31:09] And I want to know, where is this legend...

Stuart Wellington

[31:11] This fabled city of the sexy ladies?

Elliott Kalan

[31:13] This Last Vegas you speak of.

[31:15] This Lust Vegas.

[31:17] Which would be a good name for a Cinemax show.

[31:18] Oh, I think that's a great idea.

[31:19] Yeah.

[31:20] You know what?

[31:20] Let's pitch that.

[31:21] Okay.

[31:21] It's called Lust Vegas, and it's at a casino where people pay for sex.

[31:26] Wait, what do you win?

[31:27] It's about a call-in sex show.

[31:28] You win the pleasure beyond your wildest dreams.

[31:30] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[31:30] Where people call in and they talk about their sexy times in Las Vegas.

Elliott Kalan

[31:34] Yeah, yeah.

[31:34] No, well, it's sex-themed games.

[31:36] Yeah.

[31:37] So, like, instead of poker, it's strip poker.

[31:39] I mean, you can just keep the name poker.

[31:41] I mean, you can just keep the name poker.

Elliott Kalan

[31:41] They're called erotic games.

[31:42] Yeah.

[31:42] Instead of roulette, it's, I don't know.

[31:45] Booble-let.

[31:46] Yeah, there you go.

[31:47] That's great.

[31:47] And Michael Booble-let plays it.

[31:49] And instead of slot machines, they're just slot machines.

[31:51] Yeah, I mean, you can say.

[31:53] Yeah.

[31:54] Disgusting.

[31:54] I shouldn't have said that.

[31:55] But anyway, the...

[31:56] We've all said things we regret tonight.

[31:58] Oh, yeah.

[31:58] We've had a real Las Vegas experience.

[32:00] What stays in Las Vegas episode?

[32:01] Wait.

[32:02] Wait.

[32:03] Hold on.

[32:03] What happens in the Las Vegas podcast?

[32:06] Las Vegas?

[32:06] Okay.

[32:07] In the Las Vegas happens in The Stay.

Dan McCoy

[32:09] When Larry's...

[32:10] When Las Vegas met Sally.

Elliott Kalan

[32:12] No, no, no.

[32:12] When Cousin Larry met Suzanne Vega, they went to Regis.

[32:18] All right.

Dan McCoy

[32:19] When Vega from Street Fighter II stays in Las Vegas.

[32:23] No, no, no.

Elliott Kalan

[32:23] But not Super Street Fighter II, because he's an asshole in that one.

[32:26] When Lou Vega slays Lassie, it stays...

Dan McCoy

[32:32] When Lassie Halbstrom makes a racist...

[32:36] Wait.

[32:37] Hold on.

[32:37] This is the worst prophecy I've ever heard.

Elliott Kalan

[32:39] No.

[32:40] Trust me.

[32:41] It's a quatrain.

[32:42] It makes sense metaphorically.

[32:44] Anyway.

[32:45] So they...

[32:46] Everyone is happy.

[32:48] They're all mad at each other, but in the end, Rob De Niro stops Michael Douglas from marrying

[32:51] this girl by pushing him into a pool.

[32:54] Mary Steenburgen and Michael Douglas are going to get married, and...

Stuart Wellington

[32:57] There's a couple shots of Morgan Freeman looking like he's experiencing another stroke.

Elliott Kalan

[33:01] There's a scene where Michael Douglas is talking about how he is old, but he doesn't want to

[33:05] be old, and what happened to his life.

[33:06] And they keep cutting to Morgan Freeman, literally just staring into the distance.

[33:10] And you just wonder, like, what is he thinking at that moment?

[33:13] It's like...

[33:14] It's like they took a still image of Morgan Freeman and just put it up on screen.

Dan McCoy

[33:19] What was the Russian theorist?

[33:22] Was it like the Kulishkov?

[33:23] Yeah, the Kulishkov.

[33:24] Yeah.

[33:25] Like the experiments where they just, like, use the same expression and edit it.

Elliott Kalan

[33:30] If you put Morgan Freeman and then cut to a shot of soup, he'd be hungry.

[33:33] He showed Morgan Freeman and cut to a shot of, like, a grave, he said.

[33:36] Yeah.

[33:37] Show Morgan Freeman and cut to a shot of boobs, and you have the movie Last Vegas.

Dan McCoy

[33:42] Yeah.

[33:43] So, it's a blank expression.

[33:44] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[33:45] It's a beautiful experiment in shot conjunction and juxtaposed editing.

[33:50] Yeah.

[33:50] So, Michael Douglas...

Dan McCoy

[33:52] The theory of montage.

Elliott Kalan

[33:53] In the end, everyone's happy, and Kevin Kline...

[33:55] Speaking of montage, there's a great dress-up montage in this movie.

[33:59] There is no more...

Dan McCoy

[34:00] With Romany Malko looking at them and shaking his head.

[34:02] Thumbs up, shaking his head.

Elliott Kalan

[34:04] It is the laziest dressing-up montage.

[34:07] They never even get dressed in anything really crazy or silly.

[34:10] No.

[34:10] That was in their contract as well.

Dan McCoy

[34:11] I mean, Morgan Freeman's dressed in kind of a crazy jacket the whole time.

[34:14] It looks like the...

[34:15] Like a Kulishkov.

Elliott Kalan

[34:16] If Bullet in the Head could squeeze in a silly hat mask dress-up scene, then surely

[34:22] Las Vegas could spend some time and energy into that.

[34:25] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[34:26] I feel like Kevin Kline pushed for more of a crazy dress-up thing, and Robert De Niro

[34:31] poo-pooed it.

[34:31] Uh-uh.

Elliott Kalan

[34:32] Uh-uh.

[34:33] I'll wear two silly jackets, but they can't be that silly.

[34:38] So, this is a movie that feels like a bunch of doddering old men wandering around Las Vegas,

[34:42] but it's not...

[34:43] They don't really do too many...

[34:44] They say quippy old man jokes, but there's no situations where they're old...

[34:48] There's no Mr. Magoo type things.

Dan McCoy

[34:49] Do we hear the final ending, though, where, like, uh...

[34:52] Michael Douglas is going to marry Mary Stringer.

[34:54] Michael Douglas ends up with Mary Stringer.

[34:55] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[34:55] And Robert De Niro is no longer a shot.

[34:57] They're going to get married.

Stuart Wellington

[34:58] That's opening the door to Las Vegas 2.

[35:01] We didn't stick around until the end of the credits, so there might have been a stinger.

Elliott Kalan

[35:04] There's probably a stinger scene where, like, 50 Cent looks at the camera and is like,

[35:07] those guys know how to party.

[35:09] Wink!

[35:10] Kevin Kline doesn't...

[35:11] His teeth sparkle, and then a magic fairy hits him with a wand,

[35:14] and he turns into a frog or some shit.

Stuart Wellington

[35:16] Oh, my God!

[35:17] He's that frog character from the Las Vegas comics?

[35:19] Amazing!

[35:20] Exactly, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[35:21] And Kevin Kline doesn't answer his phone telling him that Michael Douglas is getting married

[35:25] because he's too busy in conjugal joy with his wife, Joanna Gleason.

Elliott Kalan

[35:29] In a circular bed, like the one from Las Vegas.

[35:31] So did he buy one of those?

Dan McCoy

[35:33] I guess.

[35:33] Or did they go and they somehow afford that huge fee?

[35:35] I was having a...

[35:36] Yeah, I was wondering...

[35:37] I was talking to Stuart.

[35:38] I'm assuming he bought one.

[35:38] We were wondering, like, what the value of the circular rotating bed is.

Stuart Wellington

[35:42] We're not going to talk about our sexual suggestions for how you would use...

Elliott Kalan

[35:47] I know, but like...

[35:48] Take advantage of it.

[35:49] That seems totally out of character for this podcast.

Dan McCoy

[35:51] I'm just confused.

[35:53] I don't understand what the necessary sexual advantage of having a rotating bed is.

[35:55] I think it requires one person to stand off to the side of the bed.

Elliott Kalan

[36:00] I'll tell you this.

[36:01] Dan, have you ever had an orgasm while dizzy?

[36:03] Okay.

[36:03] Because if not, you have not lived.

[36:05] You start spinning while you're doing it and you'll see what I mean.

Stuart Wellington

[36:09] Like a normal human has to just spin around during the process.

[36:13] Like, I guess like a...

[36:14] Wait, how are you having sex?

[36:16] Hold on.

Elliott Kalan

[36:17] The right way, dude.

[36:18] Okay.

[36:19] Dan, it saves you the trouble of balancing on your penis and spinning around that way.

[36:22] I don't know that you guys are doing this right.

[36:24] That's how Bazooka Joe orgasms.

Stuart Wellington

[36:27] Why Bazooka Joe?

[36:29] Because they always do the backwards flip when they hear the joke, right?

[36:33] On the flip take.

[36:34] Yeah, but they're not spinning.

[36:35] He's just falling over backwards.

Elliott Kalan

[36:36] Yeah, but that's like the same thing.

[36:38] Not at all in any way.

[36:40] So this movie, if I was going to subscribe it, I'd say it's like Grown Ups, the movie,

[36:45] with old people.

[36:46] It's like, hey, these four actors were offered a vacation in Las Vegas if they would occasionally

[36:50] appear in front of a camera and just talk to each other.

[36:53] Yeah.

[36:54] But Kevin Kline...

[36:55] That's explaining the minuscule budget.

[36:57] But Kevin Kline and Morgan Freeman almost save it in some cases because they're just charismatic

[37:01] old men.

Dan McCoy

[37:02] Yeah.

[37:03] Let's skip to final judgments.

[37:05] And I'm going to start off.

[37:06] And I'm going to actually say that I really, by the slimest of margins, kind of like this

[37:13] movie.

[37:13] By the scale of their dentures.

[37:14] On a scale of good, bad movie, bad, bad movie, movie, I kind of liked, just on the basis of

[37:19] the charm of the actors and, as you say, mostly Kevin Kline and Morgan Freeman, I kind of liked

[37:24] it.

[37:24] It's not a good movie.

[37:26] What it is is a kind of enjoyable sitcom about four old guys.

[37:30] It's the golden guys.

[37:31] It is the golden guys.

[37:33] Yeah.

[37:33] So I kind of liked it on that level.

[37:35] The golden guys go to Las Vegas.

[37:37] Stuart, what do you got to say about it?

Stuart Wellington

[37:38] I think that's fair.

[37:39] I mean, it could easily be a bad, bad movie.

[37:42] I'll agree with you, though.

[37:43] I feel like it's such a non-movie, but it's so inoffensive.

[37:49] And Kevin Kline can be kind of funny.

[37:52] Yeah, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[37:53] I don't know if I would agree with inoffensive, since, again, it is an entire movie of old

[37:58] men learing at women's boobs.

[38:01] But I, like, it doesn't.

[38:03] I guess it's just super.

[38:04] I guess it's just.

[38:05] No, old men do.

[38:05] I mean, men of all ages do that.

[38:07] But I don't know if there should have been more substance to the movie, maybe.

[38:09] By substance, I don't mean, like, a message or, like, emotion.

[38:12] I just mean jokes that are just, like.

[38:13] I guess holding a mirror up to nature isn't enough for you.

[38:17] I'm just saying, if at that age we can't fight our bestial urges, then what hope is

[38:21] there for humanity?

Dan McCoy

[38:24] Like, if there was.

Stuart Wellington

[38:26] I mean, there aren't jokes, really, right?

Elliott Kalan

[38:28] It's one of those movies where, like, there's a couple old men jokes in the beginning, and

[38:31] then they kind of forget that they're old men for a lot of the movie.

[38:34] It's just, like, they're just not 20-year-olds, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[38:38] I mean, there's a couple.

[38:39] Once again, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline accomplish a lot with just, like, funny body

Dan McCoy

[38:45] movements.

Stuart Wellington

[38:45] And there's a good scene where, there's a scene that's kind of funny where Morgan Freeman

[38:50] drinks a bunch of vodka in Red Bull.

Elliott Kalan

[38:53] Yeah.

[38:53] Yeah, and then just starts talking and can't stop talking.

[38:56] Yeah, that's pretty good.

Dan McCoy

[38:57] And a less talented actor would have made that inseparable, but he managed to make it work.

[39:02] I will say.

Stuart Wellington

[39:02] Yeah, like, if Robert De Niro had been the one for that to happen to, it would have been

[39:06] terrible.

Dan McCoy

[39:06] Less talented than Morgan Freeman, is what he's saying.

[39:08] Robert De Niro.

[39:09] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[39:10] I would say he's less funny than Morgan Freeman is.

[39:12] Less funny.

[39:13] Okay, less funny I'll buy.

[39:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[39:15] I would say this movie doesn't really fit into our categories.

[39:17] I cannot say it's a movie I kind of liked.

[39:19] There were a couple times when I laughed at it, but it's not like, I feel like for a movie

[39:23] to be something I kind of liked, I would have to, like, have gotten more than, like, a

[39:28] thimble full of pleasure watching it.

[39:29] Yeah.

[39:30] Maybe I just enjoyed watching it with my buddies.

[39:32] I will say that.

[39:33] When we're all old, 58 years from now, let's watch Last Vegas together.

[39:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:38] How's that going to happen?

[39:39] So we're all going to show up to Last Vegas.

[39:41] Okay.

[39:42] Dan's going to be getting married again, I guess.

[39:44] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[39:44] Of course, by that point, it will be called Last Vegas because the apocalypse will have

[39:48] happened.

[39:48] Sure.

[39:49] Bikers will roam the earth.

[39:50] And it's going to be run by mutants.

[39:52] Of course.

[39:53] But they're still running good casinos.

[39:54] Yeah.

[39:55] If anything, they're a little more honest than the people running the casinos now.

[39:57] Yeah.

[39:57] The mutants are honest, of course, to a fault.

[39:59] But the mutants are kind of prudish, so there's no drinking, and prostitution is now

[40:02] illegal.

[40:03] Because of the radiation priests.

[40:04] Exactly.

[40:05] The radiation priests who believe that the nuclear war was the anger of a righteous god.

Stuart Wellington

[40:10] Yeah.

[40:11] Yeah, of course.

[40:11] And has gifted the mutants with beloved radiation and mutation.

[40:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[40:16] Because that was his gift upon being touched.

[40:19] And of course, they keep the last pieces of uranium inside of Binion's.

[40:26] And people are exposed to it to see what God has in store for them.

[40:29] Okay.

[40:29] What gifts he's going to give them.

[40:30] Usually it's cancer.

[40:32] But sometimes it's like a superpower.

[40:33] Yeah.

[40:34] It's radiation.

[40:34] Dan, that's what it does to people.

[40:35] Okay.

[40:36] Well.

[40:36] But anyway, I would say it's not a bad, bad movie or a good, bad.

[40:40] It's not a good, bad movie, but it's not.

[40:42] Yeah.

[40:43] This is a, I'll tell you what.

[40:45] I think Dan would, this is what I think Dan would think of as a movie to watch on a plane.

Dan McCoy

[40:48] Yeah.

[40:49] If you want to see it, if you're a young actor and you want an object lesson in how being

[40:54] charming can save material, maybe watch this movie.

[40:57] That's good.

[40:58] Just as a learning experience.

[40:59] As homework.

[41:01] So, before we move on to our next segment, I just want to take a moment for a word from

[41:07] our sponsor.

[41:07] And this episode, again, thank you for continuing to sponsor us, is brought to you by Squarespace,

[41:14] the all-in-one platform making it fast and easy to create your own professional website,

[41:19] portfolio, and online store.

[41:22] Look, guys, I've said it before.

[41:24] It's the modern world.

[41:26] Exactly.

[41:26] Wait, what?

[41:27] Everyone is on the internet.

[41:29] We're on the internet right now.

Elliott Kalan

[41:31] Literally everybody.

[41:32] Yeah, you're listening to the internet.

[41:33] People are listening to us through the internet.

[41:34] We were digitized and now live on the internet like a bunch of lawnmowers.

[41:37] Like a bunch of kid videos.

[41:39] Like a bunch of trons.

[41:40] A bunch of virtuosities over here.

[41:41] A bunch of brain scans.

Dan McCoy

[41:43] But the point is, if you're not on the internet, you are a chump.

[41:46] So you need a website.

Elliott Kalan

[41:48] Now, you didn't say champ, right?

Dan McCoy

[41:49] No, I said chump.

[41:50] That's the opposite of a champ.

[41:51] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[41:52] And chimp is kind of the middle ground.

[41:54] It's true.

[41:54] But you're a chump.

[41:55] Get on the internet.

[41:55] Chimps can be chumps sometimes.

Dan McCoy

[41:56] And if you want to start your website, a good way to do that is to go to squarespace.com

[42:01] slash flophouse and enter offer code FLOPHOUSE at checkout for 10% off.

[42:08] Here's the thing about Squarespace.

[42:10] You don't want to learn HTML.

[42:12] No, you're not a nerd.

[42:13] Come on.

Stuart Wellington

[42:14] Squarespace makes it easy.

[42:16] Now you listen to a cool podcast.

Dan McCoy

[42:17] You got your options.

[42:19] You got beautiful design with their pre-made templates.

[42:22] You got drag and drop content.

[42:23] You can just click on something and drag it over.

[42:27] And the computer does the business for you.

Elliott Kalan

[42:29] No, Stuart, it's not drag and drop.

[42:31] You can drag and drop in a graphic interface.

Dan McCoy

[42:35] You got 24-7 tech support through live chat and email.

[42:40] And plans start at a mere $8 a month, including a free domain name if you sign up for a year.

[42:46] You also have responsive design.

[42:48] Your website will look beautiful on, say, a phone or a tablet.

[42:54] With great power comes responsive design.

[42:56] I don't know if that's the original quote.

[42:58] And every site comes with an online store.

[43:01] So why don't you go over to Squarespace, use the offer code FLOPHOUSE to get 10% off your first purchase,

[43:07] and to show your support for us, the FLOPHOUSE.

[43:09] Your favorite podcast.

[43:11] And thank you to Squarespace for their support of the FLOPHOUSE.

[43:16] Thanks, Squarespace.

[43:17] And thanks to the listener for going to Squarespace.

[43:20] And buying their products.

[43:22] And for listening to our show.

Elliott Kalan

[43:23] Not that as much.

[43:24] Squarespace.

[43:26] Do that.

Dan McCoy

[43:27] A better tomorrow.

[43:29] Right?

[43:30] I don't think so.

[43:32] I think that might be only consumer products.

[43:36] Yeah, that's like Oscorp or something.

[43:39] Or Max Shrek Industries.

[43:42] Let's move on to letters.

[43:45] Letters from listeners.

[43:47] You're not the guy.

Stuart Wellington

[43:48] Listeners from letters.

Dan McCoy

[43:49] Wait, this is very unusual.

Stuart Wellington

[43:51] Some other chump used to sing a song about letters, but not today, because it's me, Stuart, singing.

Elliott Kalan

[43:58] You're taking advantage of the fact that I'm tired from taking care of a baby.

[44:03] That's why I've been kind of bad this episode.

[44:06] And this letter song's not very good.

[44:08] Take it, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[44:10] Take what?

[44:11] I'm too busy reading a letter.

[44:14] Dan is holding it and rubbing my legs because they're tired from working and running around

[44:20] and being a Stuart.

Elliott Kalan

[44:23] So your relationship is kind of a five-year-old and his dad type thing.

[44:28] I didn't realize that at all.

Dan McCoy

[44:30] I think Stuart is inherently tiring to legs.

Elliott Kalan

[44:33] Yeah, well, you see, Stuart works standing up.

[44:36] Plus he pops everywhere.

[44:37] Wait, do I have to sing another part?

[44:38] No, it's fine.

[44:39] It's an operetta, Stuart.

[44:40] Yes, you do.

Dan McCoy

[44:41] I think it's fine.

[44:43] Verse, chorus, verse, right?

[44:45] So, no.

Elliott Kalan

[44:46] On the first day of Stuart, this Stuart gave to us...

Dan McCoy

[44:49] This is an A, B, A, A, B, C, A, B format of a song.

Elliott Kalan

[44:56] So...

[44:57] It's a C-R-A-P format.

Dan McCoy

[45:01] Walka-walka.

[45:04] Statler and Waldorf, what do you think of that joke?

[45:08] So, this first letter goes like this.

Elliott Kalan

[45:10] If I was more on my game, I'd have a Statler and Waldorf joke for you there.

Dan McCoy

[45:13] Hey, dudes.

[45:15] Did Stuart write this letter?

[45:16] Long-time listener, second-time writer of a letter.

[45:19] You may remember me as the person who has a crush on Tom Noonan slash Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[45:23] Oh, I remember that, yeah.

[45:24] That's cool.

[45:25] You know Tom Noonan and Dan are not the same person, right?

[45:28] Aren't we?

[45:29] Tom Noonan, how did you get here?

[45:31] Wow.

[45:31] Francis, don't worry.

[45:32] I've been with you the whole time.

[45:34] Inside of you.

[45:35] That's weird.

[45:36] I don't like that.

Stuart Wellington

[45:36] It's a pretty great Tom Noonan slash Dan impression.

Elliott Kalan

[45:40] That is what it would sound like if Tom Noonan and Dan got in that pod from the fly and combined

Dan McCoy

[45:44] it to one being.

[45:46] Well, seeing how both Dan and Mr. Noonan are married, I'm still here looking for a boyfriend.

[45:51] Imagine my surprise when you guys mention that enemy of the podcast, David Kalin, is single.

[45:56] I hear he looks like a Jewish mountain man.

[45:58] I'm very much into that.

[46:00] So if you guys wanted to give my email to him, I would be totally cool with that.

[46:04] I don't know what his type is, but if he's into ladies with blue hair and tattoos, maybe

[46:08] we were meant to be.

[46:09] Sincerely, Sarah, last name withheld.

[46:10] Do you like sports?

[46:12] Yeah, that's his type, his sports.

[46:14] I should probably mention.

[46:15] Are you a sport?

[46:15] Because then he might like you.

[46:16] Do you like to correct things?

[46:18] I should probably mention I'm not Jewish, so this sort of depends on whether or not he

[46:21] dates lapsed Catholics.

[46:23] With Catholics that sit in laps?

[46:25] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:26] Just for the record, David, my brother, does not.

[46:29] Is he involved now?

[46:30] Does not just date Jewish girls?

[46:31] As far as I know, he's not involved in the name, but he never tells me these things.

[46:35] And if you like sports, then he might like...

[46:37] Is he like women with blue hair and tattoos?

[46:39] Honestly, the only thing I know...

[46:40] Because that seems more like my thing.

[46:41] The only thing I know he has opinions on is sports.

[46:43] All right.

[46:44] So if you are hockey, basketball, football, or baseball...

Stuart Wellington

[46:48] Are you a good listener?

Elliott Kalan

[46:49] Because he is a talker.

[46:51] Yeah.

[46:52] Do you like sarcasm?

[46:54] Do you like having your balls busted for no good reason?

Stuart Wellington

[46:56] He is the Kalen family curse, I think.

[46:58] Of talkativeness.

[47:00] Cursed by a gypsy.

[47:01] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[47:01] Talk to me so much, will you?

[47:03] Well, from now on, your generations are to come.

[47:06] We'll never stop talking.

[47:09] Oh, my aching bones, oh.

[47:11] You wouldn't carry my bucket of water with me to my hut, though.

[47:15] And so I curse ye with a tongue that will never rest.

Dan McCoy

[47:19] But thank you for writing in.

[47:21] This is an...

[47:21] I have to admit, because we have a backlog, this email is a bit old.

[47:25] Maybe Sarah's...

[47:26] She might be married by now.

[47:26] ...conditions have changed.

[47:28] But if not, maybe we'll make a love connection out of this.

[47:31] Sure.

[47:31] Okay.

[47:32] Let me pull out my cupid-colored arrow.

Elliott Kalan

[47:34] Dave, why don't you write in and say if you're interested.

[47:37] Your cupid-colored arrow?

[47:39] Why do you say that, Warren?

[47:40] Because I'm tired.

[47:42] Because I'm tired and my tongue is half asleep.

[47:45] I sat on it by accident.

[47:46] Now it's all pins and needles.

Dan McCoy

[47:48] For some reason, that's not a good enough excuse for me.

Elliott Kalan

[47:51] No, because you do it all the time, 24 hours a day.

[47:54] Actually, that made me think of a new Hellraiser character, Pin Tongue.

[47:57] He just looks like a normal guy until he opens his mouth.

[47:59] You see his tongue.

[48:00] He's got a bunch of pins on it?

[48:01] In his tongue, yeah.

[48:02] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[48:02] And he drives a Pinto.

Elliott Kalan

[48:04] And it's the only kind of beanies.

Dan McCoy

[48:06] So, I mean, it's difficult.

[48:08] He's got a bunch of pins.

[48:08] His favorite old-time Disney animator, Pinto Colvig, the voice of Goofy.

[48:12] This next letter starts out,

[48:14] Good day, Flophouse.

[48:15] Since coming across your podcast in early spring, I've been going through all the old episodes.

[48:20] The other day, I was driving to work when the app for the Chaos Experiment, number 48,

[48:25] That's an old one.

[48:26] Started up with a warning on the subpar audio quality of this episode.

[48:30] I'm not sure what happened next.

[48:31] I may have reached for my iPod to skip the app.

[48:33] But the rest of the podcast continued, and it was at 1.5 times speed audio.

[48:39] Awesome.

[48:39] My reverence for the Flophouse host plummeted as I thought,

[48:42] These fucking idiots think their listeners are going to listen to them talk about a movie at 1.5 times speed?

[48:47] Are you fucking kidding?

[48:48] Shitheads.

[48:49] Wow.

[48:50] I turned the Flophouse off.

[48:53] Many hours later in the day, I discovered the crappy new iOS 7 operating system has a playback speed button on the podcast app,

[48:59] allowing the user to listen to a podcast at half, normal, 1.5, and 2 times speed.

Elliott Kalan

[49:05] If you want us to sound like this, letters, letters to the Flophouse.

[49:13] Yeah, let's make it last longer.

Dan McCoy

[49:15] There you go.

[49:17] Why on earth this feature exists is beyond my comprehension,

[49:20] and I transferred my very rational disgust in the direction of the shit for brainiacs at Apple.

[49:25] Many apologies for momentarily doubting you fellas.

[49:28] Thanks, Kyle, last name withheld.

[49:30] No problem, Comic-Con.

[49:32] No thanks, Kyle, for your doubting.

[49:36] You got really angry at us.

[49:38] You got really angry at us, buddy.

[49:40] We can take it.

Stuart Wellington

[49:41] We're just voices in the ether.

[49:43] Let's take, you know what?

[49:44] I'm going to take Kyle's side of this one.

Elliott Kalan

[49:45] If I didn't know that we weren't screwing around with listeners,

[49:50] I'd get pretty mad too if I was a listener.

[49:52] If I was like, look, hey, these knuckleheads are trying out some kind of experiment on me.

[49:56] Some sort of hilarious Andy Kaufman.

[49:58] Some sort of chaos experiment, and I don't like it.

Dan McCoy

[50:01] Yeah.

[50:02] All right, fair enough.

[50:04] But thanks for continuing to give us a chance.

[50:07] But moving on.

[50:08] Don't sound desperate, dude.

[50:10] All my...

Stuart Wellington

[50:11] Or grade A prime beef.

Dan McCoy

[50:13] Sure.

[50:14] The next letter goes little something like this.

[50:18] I write to you from a...

[50:19] Ahem.

[50:20] Me, me, me, me, me.

[50:21] I write to you from a hotel room in South Carolina, lying in a shitty bed, and I guess...

[50:27] I'm just a poor quality bed.

Elliott Kalan

[50:28] I'm just a poor quality bed, not a bed that's full of shit, right?

Stuart Wellington

[50:32] I don't think she can't...

[50:33] He or she cannot respond.

Elliott Kalan

[50:35] Letter.

[50:35] Tell me.

[50:37] New information letter.

[50:38] Explain.

Dan McCoy

[50:39] The three of you and some guest hosts kept me company for my 13-hour road trip from Massachusetts

[50:44] yesterday, and I thought I'd thank you.

[50:46] Feel free to chip in for gas money.

[50:48] Anywho, in the stretch of episodes...

Elliott Kalan

[50:50] We realized we weren't actually in the car, right?

[50:52] That was just our voices trapped as if a witch had put us into a magic mirror of some kind.

Dan McCoy

[50:59] So there's a lot of curses.

[51:00] A key for Sutherland mirror.

[51:02] Anywho...

[51:02] Wait, what?

[51:03] What?

[51:03] In the stretch of episodes, from the classic X-Men Origins Wolverine and the Jonathan Travolta

[51:08] vehicle from Parish with Love...

[51:10] Jonathan Travolta.

[51:11] ...the discussion of Best Supporting Actress winners came up.

[51:15] I can't remember which episode, but essentially Dan said that Monique winning the Oscar in 2009

[51:20] would usher in an era of supporting actress winners with apostrophes in their name.

Elliott Kalan

[51:26] No, an era of supporting actress winners.

[51:28] We have built a town for them, and we don't have to deal with them anymore.

Dan McCoy

[51:32] That's racist.

[51:33] And now...

[51:34] Against supporting actress winners?

[51:37] And now history shows how prescient Dan truly is.

[51:41] For Lo and this year, a mere four years after a baby-throwing performance by Monique,

[51:46] the Best Supporting Actress winner was Lupita Inongo.

[51:50] Inongo.

[51:52] Nice pronunciation, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[51:53] You've done it bad enough.

[51:54] Just keep going.

Dan McCoy

[51:55] So good on you, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[51:56] You're only going to dig deeper on this one.

Dan McCoy

[51:58] All my best, Brian.

[51:59] Last name.

[51:59] He even spelled it out.

[52:01] He said Inongo.

[52:04] What, he put the phonetic spelling in there for you?

[52:06] Yeah, he did.

[52:06] And yet you still have trouble with it.

[52:08] Yeah.

[52:09] So I guess the point of this letter is donate to the Foundation for Dance Tongue.

[52:15] Hi.

[52:16] Just $2 a day.

Elliott Kalan

[52:17] Do you have trouble saying ordinary words in the course of your ordinary day?

[52:21] You may have Dance Tongue Syndrome or DTS.

[52:25] Sufferers of DTS often don't know they have it because they don't listen to themselves and

[52:29] they talk.

[52:30] It must be pointed out to them by their asshole friends who make fun of them all the time.

[52:34] So please, make fun of your friends.

[52:36] Or if you have DTS, let your friends make fun of you.

Dan McCoy

[52:39] And if you have DTF, that's something else entirely.

[52:42] I don't know what that is.

[52:43] Down to fuck.

Stuart Wellington

[52:44] Why do you look at me when you said that, dude?

[52:46] Well, because you knew what it was.

Elliott Kalan

[52:47] Well, of course, but...

[52:49] There was no reason for you to bring that kind of vulgarity into this podcast about a

[52:52] movie about old men wanting to have sex with young women.

Dan McCoy

[52:56] So moving on.

[52:58] This next letter.

[53:02] First off, a hearty congratulations all around for what appears to be an explosion in podcast

[53:07] popularity.

[53:08] You guys are the best and deserve to have...

[53:09] Don't worry.

[53:10] This episode will take care of that.

[53:11] And deserve to have Cat on a Hot Tin Tin Roof ranked right up there.

[53:15] Tin Tin.

[53:16] In the annals of radio plays with Well's War of the Worlds.

[53:19] And that I'm sure Elliot's sultry tones also caused widespread panic in New Jersey.

[53:24] Oh, yeah.

[53:25] Second.

[53:26] And to the heart of the matter.

Elliott Kalan

[53:28] This is the hoax where they thought a southern woman somewhere liked Tin Tin.

[53:32] People were just running out into the streets.

[53:33] Terrified people.

[53:34] So horrified.

[53:35] Chaotic.

[53:36] I don't understand.

[53:38] It defies logic.

[53:39] The government.

[53:39] They fell apart.

[53:40] They can't help us.

Dan McCoy

[53:42] Second.

[53:42] And to the heart of the matter.

[53:44] As a woman who dates other women, I have waited with somewhat bated breath for the arrival

[53:48] of Blue is the Warmest Color and its potential for a not shitty slash entirely unbelievable

[53:53] slash somewhat skin crawling depiction of the intimacy between my people.

[53:58] While my partner and I differed on the intricacies of the film itself, narrative, style, pacing,

[54:06] etc., we agreed that it is an achingly beautiful movie.

[54:10] But in many ways, the flack that the movie has received since Can, regarding the sex scenes,

[54:15] kind of prepped us to feel alienated before we even took our seats.

[54:28] Granted, most people who see the movie probably won't chew on their feelings about it quite

[54:32] as much, just because statistically most people who see the movie won't be on the queer spectrum.

[54:37] But man, without the countless printed back and forth about the sex, she and I probably would

[54:42] have either just been pleased at a more realistic stab at big screen lady banging, or felt the

[54:47] general vague discomfort one feels in a theater full of strangers watching actors go at it.

[54:52] In a perfect world, we would watch movies with fresh eyes, and obviously we're all swayed

[54:55] to a degree by critics or friends, but the coverage of this movie has been so outrageous and had

[54:59] such a marked effect on how I watched it, but I was wondering if the hype around a film,

[55:03] whether controversy or acclaim or anything really, has genuinely altered your enjoyment of it.

[55:08] Whether it's you spending 45 minutes waiting for an infamous scene, like how I was warned

[55:13] repeatedly about the subtextual ambiguity of the rape scene in the original Straw Dogs,

[55:17] which takes you out of the film as soon as that scene actually occurs, or if you've gone in

[55:23] really, really ready for some lauded film to blow you away and sort of convince yourself

[55:26] that it was better than your gut told you.

[55:28] Like, sorry Dan, Rachel getting married.

[55:31] Either way, thank you gentlemen for lighting my world every other Saturday.

[55:34] Signed, Sappho, she didn't have a last name to withhold.

Elliott Kalan

[55:37] I mean...

[55:38] Well, thank you for listening, and we appreciate the compliments.

Dan McCoy

[55:41] But no, thank you for telling me how I feel about Rachel getting married.

Elliott Kalan

[55:43] No, she was just saying how she feels about it.

Dan McCoy

[55:45] No, I thought that she was saying that I was convincing myself.

[55:48] No, no, she was saying...

Stuart Wellington

[55:49] I think you recommended Rachel getting married, and she's saying you're a jerkface.

Elliott Kalan

[55:53] Yeah, those are the words.

[55:54] Dumbass, jerkface, butt for brains.

[55:56] Yeah, I think that was what she said.

[55:58] Wow, she kept it pretty clean.

[55:59] She was saying that it was a movie she had heard great things about, but in her gut didn't

[56:02] like it.

[56:03] So she was apologizing to you that she didn't like it.

Stuart Wellington

[56:04] Maybe you were the words that she had heard.

[56:07] I apologize to you.

[56:08] And she thinks you're a turd.

[56:09] I have to say that...

[56:10] From misunderstanding.

Elliott Kalan

[56:11] Usually, I'm not swayed as much before I see a movie by what people have said about

[56:15] whether they like it than by what I expect the movie to be from the marketing materials,

[56:21] or what I expect the experience to be like.

[56:22] And often, a movie that I should be more open-minded with I don't like because it doesn't live

[56:28] up to what I thought it was going to be, which is not fair to the movie.

[56:31] But with Blue is the Morse Color, I haven't seen it yet, but I feel like I'd be more tainted

[56:34] by all the stories about how horrible it was to work with the director and how the two

[56:39] stars felt really tortured by him.

Stuart Wellington

[56:44] I've actually read very little about it other than all the stuff Dan said about it.

[56:49] So I'm looking forward to going into it with relatively fresh eyes.

[56:53] Like a newborn babe.

[56:54] Yep.

[56:55] Like a powder.

Elliott Kalan

[56:57] No, powder was just like a guy with lightning powers or whatever.

Stuart Wellington

[57:02] Yeah, but I thought he was like a homunculus or something.

Elliott Kalan

[57:04] I know.

[57:05] Totally fresh.

[57:06] His mother was struck by lightning, which made him into a bald albino Superman.

[57:10] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[57:11] I can't think of a really great example of this off the top of my head, but I do feel like

[57:16] I often fall into the trap of expecting too much from a movie based on, you know,

[57:27] it being very well regarded.

Elliott Kalan

[57:29] Well, there are, yeah, there's certainly times when like if a movie is hyped up too much

[57:32] in terms of it's a classic or something like that, or it's amazing, I feel like sometimes

[57:38] I have to like settle myself before I see it and be like, let me just watch this as if

[57:43] I've heard, as if it just started now.

[57:45] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[57:45] I remember, I feel like in this last year, I remember watching the screener of her and being

Elliott Kalan

[57:50] like, okay, I like this.

[57:52] I don't.

[57:52] Well, that was, yeah, that was a movie where I'd read a lot, a lot about how amazing it

[57:55] was.

[57:56] When I watched it, I think it was more that it was not the movie I was interested in seeing.

[58:00] And so I was like, oh, this is it.

Dan McCoy

[58:01] There's a certain point in that movie where it goes down a very, I feel like traditional

[58:06] expected role, or not role, Root.

[58:11] And I kind of expected it to keep the inventiveness of the early scenes throughout the film, and

[58:17] it just didn't do that.

[58:19] But you were talking about like Godzilla, I mean, which you haven't seen.

[58:24] I still haven't seen it yet.

Elliott Kalan

[58:24] But I mean, I've seen the original Godzilla.

[58:26] Right.

Dan McCoy

[58:27] But I like.

Elliott Kalan

[58:28] By which I mean the 1998 version.

[58:30] Why are there other versions?

Dan McCoy

[58:32] I liked the new Godzilla.

[58:33] One amazing movie.

[58:34] I neither loved it nor hated it.

[58:36] Baby Godzilla.

[58:36] But I feel like there's so many people out there who either loved that movie.

Elliott Kalan

[58:39] They're like velociraptors.

[58:40] The sequel to Baby Geniuses, Baby Godzilla's.

[58:42] Mm-hmm.

[58:43] They got big diapers.

[58:44] Yeah.

[58:44] Godzilla has, there's very few people in the middle ground except for Dan.

[58:49] It's very lonely there.

[58:50] Somebody joined him in the middle ground.

Dan McCoy

[58:53] But I'm kind of surprised that people either loved or hated that movie so much because I thought

[58:58] that that movie was a good version of an old style monster movie.

[59:03] Like it was a, like it was nothing totally new, but it was a more classic monster film than

[59:10] other films.

[59:10] And, and you were saying that you think that it was probably because of the way it was marketed

[59:14] where it, it, that movie had such great marketing that it promised something crazy that maybe

[59:20] it didn't deliver.

Stuart Wellington

[59:21] I haven't seen it yet either, but I feel like every criticism I read is that like not enough

[59:27] Godzilla boring.

[59:29] And that, that's not enough to turn me off of the movie.

[59:31] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[59:32] I feel the same.

[59:32] I haven't seen it, but I feel the same way.

[59:34] But I do feel like there are movies, like Godzilla's trailers were fantastic and maybe

[59:39] it falls in the same trap that Prometheus fell into, which I think is the example I used

[59:42] when I was talking to you where those trailers, that trailer was fantastic.

[59:45] The original Prometheus trailer is maybe the best trailer I can think of since the original

[59:49] Alien trailer, which is maybe the best trailer ever cut for a movie.

[59:54] The trailer for Alien is so scary on its own and so suspenseful and tells no lies about

[59:59] the movie and everything that's promised in that trailer comes to fruition in the movie.

[1:00:04] Whereas Prometheus, one, they had that stupid mystery aspect to it where they're like, maybe

[1:00:08] we're not going to tell you what's in this movie.

[1:00:10] But the trailer was so good and the movie was like fun.

[1:00:13] I enjoyed it a lot, but it's nothing, no great shakes.

[1:00:16] You know, that I think people, instead of being like, that was all right, we're like, that sucks.

[1:00:20] Put that on the DVD box.

[1:00:21] That was the worst.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:22] No great shakes.

[1:00:26] But very quick.

[1:00:28] Last letter of the evening.

[1:00:29] Hello, floppers.

[1:00:30] I was told you like it when listeners keep their letters short.

[1:00:32] Regards, Billy, last name withheld.

[1:00:34] Oh, hey, thanks, Billy.

[1:00:35] So thanks.

[1:00:36] Billy Wilder, everybody.

[1:00:38] Yeah.

[1:00:39] Blitz.

[1:00:39] Billy Wilder.

[1:00:41] Showing the wits that made him one of the greatest screenwriters of classic Hollywood.

[1:00:49] But now we move on to our final segment of the evening.

[1:00:53] Okay.

[1:00:53] Final judgments.

[1:00:55] Final.

[1:00:55] No, no, no.

[1:00:57] Because final is in final judgments.

[1:00:58] What do you think of those letters?

[1:01:03] I thought I gave them good, good letters.

[1:01:05] Yeah, they're good, good letters.

[1:01:05] Yeah, they're great letters.

[1:01:06] Thanks.

[1:01:07] I was just testing you guys.

[1:01:09] Thanks for writing in.

[1:01:10] I'm sorry that we didn't have better answers.

[1:01:11] And that's the end of the show.

[1:01:11] Good night, everybody.

[1:01:12] No, no, no.

[1:01:13] There's one last segment.

[1:01:13] What's the last segment, Dan?

[1:01:14] Where we recommend movies that we actually liked.

[1:01:19] Unlike Las Vegas, even though I kind of liked Las Vegas.

[1:01:22] But not like I like the movie that I'm going to recommend.

[1:01:25] Which is?

[1:01:26] I had the pleasure of seeing Stop Making Sense, the Talking Heads concert film directed by Jonathan Demme.

[1:01:35] Jonathan Demme Moore.

[1:01:36] At the Brooklyn Academy of Music.

[1:01:40] It's like a small version of a Moore.

[1:01:41] A re-release in a larger release soon.

[1:01:47] But this Brooklyn Academy of Music screening had actually Jonathan Demme and another producer there to answer a Q&A.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:53] Okay, so you recommend seeing Stop Making Sense when the director is there?

Dan McCoy

[1:01:56] No, I recommend seeing Stop Making Sense.

[1:01:58] That's qualified.

[1:01:59] I recommend seeing it on a big screen.

[1:02:02] Because this is not only...

[1:02:04] The bigger the better.

[1:02:05] Project it on the moon.

[1:02:07] This is not only my favorite concert film.

[1:02:10] And I think inarguably one of the best concert films ever made.

[1:02:14] It is one of my favorite movies.

[1:02:17] Which was driven home seeing it on a big screen with big sound.

[1:02:21] Where after every number that Talking Heads did, people would burst into applause.

[1:02:29] As if the people on stage could actually hear them appreciate their music making.

[1:02:36] And you stood up and you said, you fools!

[1:02:38] It's on film!

[1:02:38] Don't you see?

[1:02:40] It was like...

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:40] You're being taken for a pack of idiots!

[1:02:43] They're playing a laugh on you!

[1:02:45] What do you think?

[1:02:45] This is like the great train robbery?

[1:02:46] That train's not going to run you down!

Dan McCoy

[1:02:49] No, but it was good.

[1:02:50] It was great.

[1:02:52] And one of the great things about Stop Making Sense is it's just a beautifully constructed stage show.

[1:02:58] It's where you really see David Byrne's background as an art student and his interest in staging.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:04] Any giant robot zombies come out on stage?

[1:03:06] There's a giant suit.

[1:03:07] That sounds cool.

[1:03:08] So you're looking for more of an Iron Maiden type show?

[1:03:09] Yeah, like an Eddie type figure.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:11] But it's also...

[1:03:12] Who they then fight when he's on stage?

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:14] Yeah, he lifts up Adrian Smith while he does a wiki guitar solo.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:18] I'll wrap this up.

[1:03:20] My least favorite part of any YouTube video of an Iron Maiden show is when the giant Eddie comes out and it's like,

[1:03:26] What is this?

[1:03:26] The Six Flags Iron Maiden show?

[1:03:28] Whatever, dude.

[1:03:28] Shut up.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:30] I'll wrap this up very quickly.

[1:03:31] But I do want to say that it was also...

[1:03:33] There's something kind of bittersweet to watching Stop Making Sense because you really feel the joy that all of these performers are having playing music with one another.

[1:03:42] And you know how short-lived that joy is going to be and how talking heads are all going to end up hating each other very shortly thereafter.

[1:03:51] Yeah.

[1:03:51] And not play together again other than...

[1:03:54] Not do so much talking amongst themselves anymore.

[1:03:57] From their heads.

[1:03:59] But...

[1:03:59] Yeah.

[1:04:00] Stop making sense.

[1:04:02] Watch it on DVD if you can't see it any other way.

[1:04:06] But see the re-release if you can.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:08] And if Jonathan Demme's there, go for it.

[1:04:10] Yeah.

[1:04:11] Ask him some questions.

[1:04:12] I would like to recommend a movie also by a director named Demme, but not Jonathan Demme.

[1:04:18] Oh, really?

[1:04:18] Jacques Demme?

[1:04:19] Jacques Demme, director of The Umbrellas of Cherbourg.

[1:04:22] Jacques Demme Moore?

[1:04:23] Yeah, Jacques Demme Moore.

[1:04:24] Not a music film.

[1:04:24] Brother of Jonathan Demme Moore.

[1:04:26] This is not a music film, though, that I'm going to recommend.

[1:04:29] This is one of his earliest films.

[1:04:32] I think it's his first full-length, and it's called Lola.

[1:04:34] And it's from 1961, and it stars Anouk Aimee and a couple of other actors.

[1:04:41] Now, this Lola, was she a showgirl?

[1:04:43] She was a dancer, yeah.

[1:04:45] Okay.

[1:04:45] And she sings one song in it about her stage character, Lola.

[1:04:50] And it's a French New Wave movie that's, like, not one of the big major development ones,

[1:04:56] but it's a very fun, touching movie about a bunch of characters.

[1:05:01] This dancer who has a son and who is still in love with the man who left her years ago with this son,

[1:05:07] but who she doesn't expect ever to come back.

[1:05:09] An old childhood friend of hers who comes back now and has a crush on her.

[1:05:12] A single mother who has a teenage daughter who both are looking for connections with men in their own way.

[1:05:21] One out of loneliness, the other out of curiosity, and an American sailor from Chicago who is kind of in a casual relationship with Lola,

[1:05:30] but is kind of floating through his time in Paris.

[1:05:35] Or I don't remember if it's Paris or it's a coastal town, I think.

[1:05:38] I can't remember.

[1:05:39] But floating through his time in France and just kind of interacting with these other characters.

[1:05:45] And the characters intersect a lot, but it's not super plot heavy.

[1:05:49] But it's very fun at times and also just charming at other times and very touching at other times.

[1:05:55] And the photography in it is this beautiful, kind of straightforward, early 1960s black and white photography

[1:06:02] that's really crisp with a lot of great angles.

[1:06:05] And I really enjoy it a lot.

[1:06:06] So, Lola.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:07] So, a French new wave movie and a movie about a new wave band.

[1:06:10] Stuart, what do you have?

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:11] What new wave are you doing?

[1:06:13] And it better be surf Nazis must die.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:14] The wave I'm doing.

[1:06:16] So, it's a wave of blood in a way.

[1:06:19] Okay, that sounds scary.

[1:06:21] So, this is a movie from 2010.

[1:06:24] It's a movie called Steakland.

[1:06:27] It's a somewhat qualified...

[1:06:28] I like the sound of this place.

[1:06:29] It sounds delicious.

[1:06:31] It sounds...

[1:06:32] This is kind of a qualified recommendation.

[1:06:35] So, this is...

[1:06:36] In that I didn't like this movie.

[1:06:38] Well, this is a movie that feels very much like a promising start to a young horror or suspense director's career.

[1:06:46] Um...

[1:06:47] The director, Jim Mickle, just recently released a movie called Cold in July, which is based on a Joe Lansdale novel.

[1:06:54] And it's getting some good press.

[1:06:55] He also is involved in what looks like a TV series based on the Happ and Leonard series of Joe Lansdale's short stories, which is exciting.

[1:07:04] Um...

[1:07:04] And from, uh...

[1:07:05] Steakland.

[1:07:06] That sounds like a decent fit.

[1:07:08] It's a movie...

[1:07:09] It's basically a post-apocalyptic movie where instead of your traditional, like, zombie apocalypse, you have a vampire apocalypse.

[1:07:18] And it follows, uh...

[1:07:20] A young boy who also is the narrator, like a...

[1:07:22] I guess a teenager, who, uh...

[1:07:24] Who travels around with a hardened vampire slayer.

[1:07:29] Um...

[1:07:29] As they go from settlement to settlement, uh...

[1:07:33] Trying to head north to, uh...

[1:07:35] To New Eden, um...

[1:07:37] Which is a...

[1:07:37] Like a promised land.

[1:07:39] And, uh...

[1:07:40] Along the way, they run into religious fanatics, multiple horrible vampire situations, um...

[1:07:46] And other things.

[1:07:47] And, uh...

[1:07:48] There's some great stuff about, like...

[1:07:50] There's some great, uh...

[1:07:51] Like, you know, civilization in ruins, but hope still rises from the ashes type things.

[1:07:57] Uh...

[1:07:57] There's some great stuff with, uh...

[1:07:59] The evil religious cultists that are led by Michael...

[1:08:04] Oh, I don't remember his name.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:05] Yeah, Michael E. Black.

[1:08:07] In an interesting, terrible...

[1:08:09] Evil role.

[1:08:10] Michael Moore.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:11] Um...

[1:08:11] No, the...

[1:08:12] The evil vampire is played by the guy who played, uh...

[1:08:15] The lead, uh...

[1:08:17] The lead bald guy from Fringe.

[1:08:19] What are those...

[1:08:20] Those bald guys?

[1:08:21] Oh, yeah.

[1:08:21] The Strangers.

[1:08:22] Yeah, the Strangers or whatever those guys.

[1:08:24] Uh...

[1:08:24] Fringies.

[1:08:25] Yeah.

[1:08:25] They call them Fringos.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:26] They call them Surries with the fringe on top.

[1:08:28] Fringos.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:29] And, uh...

[1:08:30] I mean, the...

[1:08:31] There's a couple issues.

[1:08:32] Like, there's, uh...

[1:08:33] There's, uh...

[1:08:34] Like, a climax that's a little strange and feels a little forced.

[1:08:37] And there's a little bit...

[1:08:39] A little bit too much narration from the, uh...

[1:08:41] The hero who was played by the annoying younger brother from Revenge.

[1:08:46] Um...

[1:08:47] Of the nerds.

[1:08:48] If only.

[1:08:50] Uh...

[1:08:50] But, no, I...

[1:08:51] I think it's good.

[1:08:52] It's got some great little, uh...

[1:08:53] Some great practical effects.

[1:08:55] And there's some genuine scary moments.

[1:08:56] So, if you like...

[1:08:57] If you like vampire movies and you like, uh...

[1:08:59] Post-apocalyptic stuff, I'd recommend it.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:02] All right.

[1:09:03] So, guys.

[1:09:05] It's time to get out of this sweat-filled room.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:08] This is a very hot room that we're in.

[1:09:09] Yeah.

[1:09:10] Dan, when did we decide to record these in the sauna at the Friars Club?

[1:09:13] Well...

[1:09:14] We're recording in my...

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:15] Your sleeves just slowly go up and up.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:17] My new apartment without air conditioning.

[1:09:19] So, um...

[1:09:20] Well, guys.

[1:09:21] I say...

[1:09:22] You can imagine our flesh glistening.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:24] And if we bump into each other, we'll stick for a second.

[1:09:27] Mm-hmm.

[1:09:28] Maybe, uh...

[1:09:29] We'll peel apart.

[1:09:30] Slowly separate.

[1:09:31] Peel apart like some bubble tape.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:33] Yeah.

[1:09:34] Six feet of bubble gum.

[1:09:36] For you.

[1:09:36] Not them.

[1:09:37] So, I say...

[1:09:39] Anyway.

[1:09:39] Hey, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:39] I had a good time.

[1:09:40] In 58 years, let's reunite and do this same podcast in Las Vegas.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:45] Sounds good.

[1:09:46] I thought it was Lust Vegas.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:47] Lust Vegas.

[1:09:48] Coming soon to a...

[1:09:49] Where pleasure is paid.

[1:09:51] Premium cable site.

[1:09:52] Wait, why?

[1:09:53] Hold on.

[1:09:54] Why?

[1:09:54] Yeah, because...

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:55] Because Pintong is the leader.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:57] No, Pintong is not part of Lust Vegas.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:00] Whose favorite playwright is Harold Pinter.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:02] Yeah.

[1:10:03] Harold Pintong.

[1:10:05] That's okay.

[1:10:05] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:06] All right.

[1:10:06] Well, um...

[1:10:08] This is devolved into chaos.

[1:10:09] Uh...

[1:10:10] For the podcast, I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:12] That's been Elliot Kalin.

[1:10:14] Over there is Stuart Wellington.

[1:10:15] And he will always be Stuart Wellington forever.

[1:10:17] Good night.

[1:10:18] Good night, everyone.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:22] Oh, I'm clearly Johnny Storm.

[1:10:25] I thought I was more of a Ben Grimm type,

[1:10:27] but that's okay.

[1:10:28] No.

[1:10:29] You're more of a, uh...

[1:10:31] Chris Evans.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:32] More of a slapstick.

[1:10:33] Oh, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:35] But that carries over pretty well on a podcast, huh?

[1:10:39] So, Dan, we're gonna start this, or what's the...

[1:10:42] Let's set the night on fire.

[1:10:44] Nope.

S4

[1:10:45] Because we are young, you know that?

The Flop House: Episode #155 - Last Vegas

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