The Flop House_ Episode #165 - Robocop (2014)

[0:00] On tonight's episode, we watched a movie about a robot cop.

[0:05] RoboCop.

[0:08] Dude, are you okay?

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:39] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:40] Hey, Dan McCoy.

[0:43] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:45] Hey, Dan and Stuart.

[0:47] I'm Elliot Kalin, and I'm worried about Dan.

[0:50] What's with all the chuckly chuckles?

[0:52] Dan, were you in a coma before the episode started?

[0:57] Well, look, let's get this out on the table right from the start.

[1:03] Dan, maybe you should summarize the movie tonight.

[1:05] What do you think it was about?

[1:07] It was about a guy who became a RoboCop.

[1:10] That's pretty accurate.

[1:11] And then nothing happened for about an hour because I was asleep.

[1:18] That's right.

[1:19] Tonight, Dan found the movie literally snorifying.

[1:23] Look, let's be clear about this.

[1:25] I have had a cold for the past five days,

[1:29] and given a choice between watching RoboCop and staying awake and falling asleep,

[1:38] my body chose to shut down.

[1:40] Sure.

[1:41] Much like RoboCop was shut down by his evil masters.

[1:44] Did you do a fluid cleanse like RoboCop did?

[1:48] Wait, RoboCop was just—

[1:51] He has a name, Elliot.

[1:53] That name is Murphy.

[1:55] He was just juice cleansing the whole time?

[1:57] Look, I was awake long enough to know that the point is

[2:00] that there's a point at which the programming takes over

[2:04] and the man thinks he's in charge, but he's not anymore,

[2:08] and that was what happened to me tonight.

[2:10] I thought that I was in charge of my body and said,

[2:12] hey, body, stay awake, this is your podcast.

[2:14] Watch what's happening.

[2:15] And then the sleep center of your brain said,

[2:17] sorry, sleepyhead, we're going to dream sound.

[2:20] Omnicore.

[2:22] One ticket to Slumberland for you.

[2:25] I'm issuing it right now.

[2:26] OCP demands that you power down.

[2:30] So this will be a fun journey of surprise.

[2:33] As Dan watches RoboCop for the first time all over again.

[2:37] Through the eyes of an innocent child.

[2:41] From out of the mouths of babes.

[2:43] Yeah.

[2:46] Just to be clear, the movie we're going to watch tonight

[2:49] was the remake of RoboCop, which we had all been eagerly awaiting.

[2:53] And Dan fell asleep about 30 minutes in.

[2:56] Yeah, and I think I was the one enjoying it the most

[2:58] out of the three of us at the point that I fell asleep.

[3:01] You must have worn yourself out.

[3:03] With your cheering and clapping.

[3:06] He was so excited that his body couldn't handle it anymore

[3:09] and it shut down into a hibernation phase.

[3:11] We saw the movie as it was meant to be seen by the filmmakers,

[3:14] with a snoring man on a couch next to us.

[3:20] Look, I have a tendency to snore.

[3:24] I had surgery to correct a deviated septum because of this.

[3:28] It didn't work.

[3:30] Your septum grew back.

[3:33] You overrode your programming.

[3:35] I wish I could paint a word picture for you of what Dan looked like sleeping,

[3:39] but I don't have to.

[3:40] Check out Stuart's Twitter feed where you will see exactly that.

[3:43] Hold on, I'm just getting alerted to this right now.

[3:46] Similar to RoboCop.

[3:48] Ellie and I have a scrolling text in our vision stream called Twitter.

[3:53] Twitter is the RoboCop on your phone.

[3:56] Look at this.

[3:58] Filled with criminals.

[4:00] And Murphys.

[4:02] You keep talking.

[4:04] The one thing I want to point out before we get into the meat of this RoboCop sandwich.

[4:09] Because there's not much meat left.

[4:10] He's mostly robot now.

[4:11] We watched a handful of remakes for the show.

[4:16] And this is probably – I don't know about you guys, but of all the remakes we've watched,

[4:20] this is a remake of the movie I've liked the most.

[4:22] You liked the original the most.

[4:24] I liked the original RoboCop.

[4:26] I have the most – I'm bringing the most baggage into this.

[4:30] It's a fantastic movie, yeah.

[4:31] I mean I think all of us have a fondness in our heart for RoboCop.

[4:35] Even more than like we'd watch Total Recall, which I love, but not as much as RoboCop.

[4:39] Total Recall the original is like okay as far as I'm concerned, but RoboCop is a genuinely great.

[4:43] Well, don't undersell the original Total Recall.

[4:45] I mean it's awesome.

[4:46] It's okay.

[4:47] Okay.

[4:48] But look, we're not here to relitigate Total Recall.

[4:51] We're here to talk about cop of a bot.

[4:53] I got to say I look –

[4:54] Cop and a rogue.

[4:55] I look very peaceful in this photo.

[4:57] Exactly.

[4:58] I'm probably the happiest of the three of us.

[5:00] Yeah, you're a little angel.

[5:01] Yeah.

[5:02] It's so lifelike.

[5:03] I don't know what the mortician did, but you look just like you're sleeping.

[5:09] That's what it sounded like.

[5:11] There was a feather on your mouth and every time you breathed out and snored, the feather would lift up and then descend down.

[5:18] Yeah.

[5:19] The weird part was when that little circus mouse started whispering ideas into your ear.

[5:24] Yeah, I was telling me to kill.

[5:27] Classic inception move.

[5:30] Yeah, mice always incepting people to kill.

[5:32] So anyway, RoboCop.

[5:34] This is a movie we all have not just fondness for the original.

[5:37] I think it's fair to say we all love the original.

[5:39] Sure.

[5:40] I certainly do.

[5:42] So we're not going to be able to separate it.

[5:44] No.

[5:45] We were going into this –

[5:46] We're only humans.

[5:47] A big strike against this movie.

[5:48] Not a bit of us are robots.

[5:50] Well, as far as we know.

[5:51] Oh, yeah.

[5:52] Bring an Omnicore employee in here, see if I can shoot him or not.

[5:54] Do a scanner.

[5:56] Just scan him up, scan him down, scan him all around.

[5:58] Everybody's scanning these days.

[6:00] Scanning USA.

[6:02] If everybody had a scanner and like a visor thing that came down on their head when they were shooting creeps.

[6:12] We'd all be RoboCops doing Robo stuff.

[6:18] How long is this song?

[6:19] Fighting crime, crime, crime until her daddy takes her T-Bert away.

[6:22] Wow.

[6:23] Take a real turn.

[6:24] Oh, wow.

[6:25] That was the twist ending.

[6:26] Daddy the RoboCop?

[6:27] It was a different song the whole time.

[6:28] It's like an M. Night Shyamalan song.

[6:31] He should do that.

[6:32] M. Night Shyamalan should do an album of cover songs where the song in the last verse, it's revealed it's a different song.

[6:37] I like it.

[6:39] It's weird.

[6:40] Would it be a whole concept album?

[6:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[6:43] The concept album is M. Night Shyamalan twist songs.

[6:46] And the song, The Twist, turns out to be like what?

[6:51] What?

[6:52] Land of the Hand Jive.

[6:53] Born to Hand Jive.

[6:54] Turns into a different song.

[6:55] Born to Hand Jive.

[6:56] Yeah, Born to Hand Jive.

[6:57] Land of the Hand Jive?

[6:58] About a lady who was the best hand jobber in town.

[7:01] I think that song is by Too Short, Softest Hand.

[7:04] It's called A Hand Jobologist.

[7:07] Anyway, that song is by Weird L. Kalonkovich.

[7:11] Okay, it works.

[7:12] Anyway, RoboCop, is that what we're talking about?

[7:14] The movie Damn Slept Through?

[7:15] We're trying to, yeah.

[7:16] Sleepy Cop over here keeps diverting me.

[7:19] Roasted.

[7:20] Robo Snore over here.

[7:23] What's your name, son?

[7:26] It's the last couple lines of Robo Sleep.

[7:31] Half man, half machine, all sleepy.

[7:35] He hides in the wall until you need him.

[7:38] Murphy Bed.

[7:42] Nice swinging out of the wall when I needed to go to bed, son.

[7:45] What's your name?

[7:46] Murphy Bed.

[7:49] So RoboCop, it's late, we're tired.

[7:51] Let's talk about the movie.

[7:52] So it's the future.

[7:53] Smash Cup.

[7:54] I mean, I feel arrested and alert.

[7:57] Yep.

[7:58] Close up on Samuel L. Jackson's back head.

[8:01] We start with Samuel L. Jackson playing a Bill O'Reilly character,

[8:04] hosting a loud mouth political talk show because it's the future,

[8:09] and in the future, even black men can be curmudgeonly old white men.

[8:13] So Samuel L. Jackson plays a character named Pat Novak.

[8:19] It's just like.

[8:20] Like Pat Sajak.

[8:21] It's like Pat Sajak.

[8:22] They were like, we want to do a.

[8:24] It was like the character was originally named like Phil O'Reilly,

[8:27] and they're like, you know what, that's a little too on the nose.

[8:29] We'll call him Pat Novak instead.

[8:30] Patio shenanigans.

[8:34] Shenanigans that happen out on the patio.

[8:36] It's like patio shenanigans.

[8:40] Like, I don't know what.

[8:44] They're basically normal shenanigans just outside.

[8:47] A fight with lawn darts.

[8:49] I mean, that's not shenanigans.

[8:51] That's violent.

[8:52] That can hurt you.

[8:53] So if I got taken to jail, I wouldn't get booked for shenanigans.

[8:57] You wouldn't be found with tomfoolery one.

[9:00] Stuart, I don't know how to tell you this, but shenanigans isn't a legal designation.

[9:06] It's not felony misdemeanor and then shenanigans.

[9:09] You've been found guilty of tomfoolery in the first degree.

[9:13] Just goofing.

[9:15] Can I plea bargain down to a lesser charge of just goofing?

[9:19] I'll allow it.

[9:20] Squeak, squeak.

[9:22] The judge has a squeaky mallet because he's a clown.

[9:25] The honorable Judge Clown presiding.

[9:27] Okay.

[9:28] That's pretty on the nose.

[9:30] On the rubber nose.

[9:33] Robocop.

[9:34] Anyway, so Robocop.

[9:35] It's the future Bill O'Reilly.

[9:37] Samuel Jackson is a Bill O'Reilly type host, and he's talking about how America is full of crime.

[9:42] Do we ever see this in the movie?

[9:43] Not really.

[9:44] No.

[9:45] But America is full of crime because while we're allowed to use robots overseas for our

[9:49] military fighting, we're not allowed to use them at home because of this stupid amendment

[9:53] that some dumb senator put through.

[9:56] Probably a liberal.

[9:57] A Pee Wee Herman sort.

[10:00] They take us to Tehran where I guess America has invaded Iran in the time between now and

[10:06] the Robocop time where a bunch of ED-209s and a bunch of C-3POs with guns under the

[10:13] command of Jackie Earl Haley were in like an exosuit, get into a fight with a bunch

[10:19] of terrorist bombers and end up killing a kid holding a knife and this is taken as a

[10:24] huge success by Samuel L. Jackson like, ìHey, everything worked out okay.

[10:28] We got to bring more of these robots over here and we need to bring over more products

[10:32] of the big American hero, Omnicore CEO, Raymond Sellers, played by Michael Keaton, and his

[10:39] top scientist, Dr. Dennett Norton, played by Gary Oldman, in the fakest name in a movie

[10:45] since Dex Dogtective, since Dennett, as far as I know, is not a name.

[10:50] Since Cam Gaganja.

[10:51] Thatís his real name.

[10:52] The satirical point of a movie such as it is has been made at this point.

[10:57] Yes.

[10:58] All the satire is basically packed into the first ten minutes and then it gets recycled

[11:03] over and over again throughout the film, like the chorus of a beautiful song.

[11:08] You had pointed out early on that it felt more on the nose because unlike, compared

[11:14] to the original Robocop, because that movie uses in addition, itís very obvious but itís

[11:20] also funny.

[11:21] The satire in the original Robocop is sledgehammer satire.

[11:24] Itís not subtle.

[11:25] Itís not elegant but the jokes are really funny and like the fake commercials are really

[11:29] funny.

[11:31] Everything is like over the top in a really funny way whereas here itís satirical but

[11:36] itís not funny.

[11:37] Like in the whole Samuel L. Jackson thing, thereís no actual jokes.

[11:40] Heís just doing this kind of like slightly exaggerated impression of that type of person

[11:45] but thereís no jokes or funny lines or anything like that.

[11:48] Itís like a little bit like certain scenes in Dr. Strangelove where youíre like, ìIím

[11:54] watching a satire but thereís like nothing funny in the scene Iím watching right now,

[11:58] except not as good as Dr. Strangelove.î Sports Night is a sitcom with no jokes.

[12:02] Itís not a satire.

[12:03] Itís not a satire of sports.

[12:04] I donít think so.

[12:05] Whatís interesting about this movie, you mentioned weíve seen a lot of remakes.

[12:09] This movie includes a couple of different Flophouse alums, Gary Oldman who was in a

[12:14] couple of other ones.

[12:15] Heís in like five movies weíve watched, right?

[12:16] Abby Cornish, which I think this was the third movie she was in weíd seen and not having

[12:21] been in a previous movie we watched I think was Jennifer Ely who Iíll just say, let me

[12:25] just bring it out here, Iíve seen on stage.

[12:27] So anyway, the play was ìCoast of Utopiaî and she was nude on stage in it and she was

[12:35] really good.

[12:36] So anyway, Tom Stoppardís ìCoast of Utopiaî, I saw it live on stage.

[12:40] Jennifer Ely was in it, no clothes, back to RoboCop.

[12:43] She was in that ìZerodak 30î, right?

[12:47] She was like the pal in that?

[12:50] She was the friend in that.

[12:51] She was the buddy?

[12:52] She was really good in that movie.

[12:53] And then she got blowed up real good.

[12:55] By RoboCop?

[12:56] Yeah, by RoboCop 30.

[12:57] I havenít even seen it.

[12:58] This sequel is going to be a RoboCop ìZerodak 30î crossover.

[12:59] Itís called ìRoboCop 30î.

[13:00] Okay.

[13:01] RoboCopís turning 30.

[13:02] Ah, his 20s are over, whatís he going to do?

[13:03] Itís called ìThis is RoboCop 30î and itís Judd Apatow, Katherine Bigelow, Paul Verhoeven

[13:04] and Tom Stoppard.

[13:05] So, RoboCop 30.

[13:06] RoboCop 30.

[13:07] RoboCop 30.

[13:08] RoboCop 30.

[13:09] RoboCop 30.

[13:10] RoboCop 30.

[13:11] Ahh, his 20s are over, whatís he going to do?

[13:14] RoboCopÖ, and itís called ìThis is RoboCop 30î and itís Judd Apatow, Katherine Bigelow,

[13:19] Paul Verhoeven.

[13:20] So itís like five hours long.

[13:21] Itís five hours long.

[13:22] Itís mostly improvised and its aboutÖ, ahhh, he's turning 30 and all he has to show for

[13:26] it is that heís insanely wealthy and has a big house and a beautiful wife slash girlfriend.

[13:31] Ahh, whatís a Robocop to do?

[13:33] So, itís mainly him bullshitting with a bunch of other comedic actors.

[13:36] oe you like.

[13:37] Success doesn't mean that youíre happy.

[13:38] No, thatísÖ

[13:39] Yeah, thatís what he does.

[13:40] All right, well, yeah.

[13:41] Thatís true.

[13:42] But anywayÖ

[13:43] So, Omnicore says, ìHey, legally we canít bring robots to the streets of the United

[13:49] States.

[13:50] We have to make some kind of mechanized human and then weíll get around through this legal

[13:54] loophole but we need the perfect candidate for the prototype.

[13:58] Enter Detroit Police Detective Alex Murphy and his partner Omar from ìThe Wireî.

[14:03] Okay.

[14:04] So Omar gets to be the RoboCop?

[14:05] No, although that would have been awesome.

[14:06] Heís a charismatic one so it seems like he would be the choice.

[14:10] Yeah, but they went for the actor who is robotic even before he turns into a robot.

[14:14] Heís taller and skinnier.

[14:16] Heís taller and skinnier and whiter and he lacks the charisma of Peter Weller so letís

[14:21] just let that sink in.

[14:22] I wouldÖ shut your mouth, sir.

[14:23] He could have played Vision, Elliot.

[14:24] Buckaroo Bonsai.

[14:25] Wizard of Madison.

[14:26] Let me just tell you, the least charismatic character in Buckaroo Bonsai is Buckaroo Bonsai.

[14:35] You know who should have been the hero of that movie?

[14:38] Jeff Goldblum.

[14:39] I rest my case.

[14:40] Well, anyway, but the point isÖ

[14:42] Thereís really no reason Jeff Goldblum couldnít have played Buckaroo Bonsai when it comes

[14:45] down to it.

[14:46] Yeah.

[14:47] Well, but, I mean, other than contrasting eyes that Peter Weller has.

[14:52] Iím just saying I donít buy him as an astrophysicist, brain surgeon, rock star.

[14:57] But you would have bought Jeff Goldblum?

[14:59] Youíd throw Jeffrey Goldblum in there and yeah, I do.

[15:02] I bought him as a fly man and as a mathematician who knows things about dinosaurs.

[15:05] Why wouldnít I buy him as this?

[15:07] Didnít he also download a virus onto an alien starship in the movie?

[15:10] He did.

[15:11] That movie?

[15:12] The Big Chill.

[15:13] Anyway, moving on.

[15:14] This new robot cop, though, is played by Joel Kinnaman, who people might remember from the

[15:18] terrible The Killing television show.

[15:21] Oh, I havenít seen it.

[15:22] Oh, okay.

[15:23] I thought you might remember him from the vast cinnamon fortune that heís heir to.

[15:27] I said Kinnaman.

[15:28] Itís actually pronounced Kinnaman, yeah.

[15:30] Every time you say like a cinnamon bun, itís really a Kinnaman bun.

[15:33] Yeah, every time you go into your patisserie and you order the Kinnaman bun.

[15:37] And heís of course the son of famed stand-up comedian Sam Kinnaman.

[15:40] Iím glad you turned that down.

[15:45] Yeah, come on.

[15:46] I canít just scream right into the mic.

[15:47] I bark thatís been shaved into a latte, ahh!

[15:51] What?

[15:52] Say what cinnamon is.

[15:53] Kinnaman, Iím sorry.

[15:54] Sam cinnamon.

[15:56] Play it again.

[15:58] Ahh!

[15:59] Ahh!

[16:00] Iím a stick that grows somewhere.

[16:01] I literally know the details.

[16:02] Sam cinnamon would have been a perfect food fight character.

[16:03] Itís true.

[16:04] What the fuck?

[16:05] Thatís true.

[16:06] Or the food fight line of action figures.

[16:07] Or even a garbage pail kid.

[16:08] Sure.

[16:09] Come on.

[16:10] Art Spiegelman, where were you on this?

[16:11] Yeah.

[16:12] Iím going to listen to this podcast later on.

[16:13] Itís just going to be a fever talk.

[16:14] Yeah.

[16:15] Yeah.

[16:16] Yeah.

[16:17] Yeah.

[16:18] Yeah.

[16:19] Yeah.

[16:20] Yeah.

[16:21] Yeah.

[16:22] Yeah.

[16:23] Yeah.

[16:24] Yeah.

[16:25] Yeah.

[16:26] Yeah.

[16:27] Itís going to be a fever dream.

[16:28] Yup.

[16:29] It is as we living it.

[16:30] So anyway cinnamon.

[16:31] Itís a thing thatís good when thereís a little bit but too much, it doesnít taste

[16:32] good.

[16:33] Yeah.

[16:34] Yeah.

[16:35] Moving on.

[16:36] So itís similar to the original Robocop except a little different in that instead of these

[16:39] cops being on the trail of Clarence Bedacreó

[16:43] Yeah, Kurt Woodsmith.

[16:45] Kurt Woodsmithís classic villain.

[16:46] They are on the track of two corrupt cops working for Antoine Vallant, an arms dealer

[16:53] of some kindó

[16:54] Like a slightly handsomer Brad Dourif meets Eric Stoltz.

[16:58] Yeah.

[16:59] He looks like a Brad Stoltz riff but itís not.

[17:01] Itís a different guy.

[17:02] Itís an actor whoís not related to either one of them.

[17:04] Like if Brad Dourif had never shaved his eyebrows off so they never grew to be horrible monster

[17:09] worms.

[17:12] Monster worms.

[17:13] Yeah.

[17:14] Like that caterpillar from Labyrinth that tells her to go the one way and she doesnít

[17:17] goó

[17:18] You know that story, ìLair of the White Wormî thatís about Brad Dourifís eyebrows.

[17:21] Wow.

[17:22] And that tremors.

[17:23] His eyebrows are tremors.

[17:25] Theyíre like furry treó

[17:27] Have you ever seen the never-ending story, you know, the luck dragon?

[17:30] Yeah, Falcor.

[17:31] Falcor.

[17:32] That was one of Brad Dourifís eyebrows.

[17:33] Yeah, sure.

[17:34] It took a side job.

[17:35] Falco.

[17:36] Youíve heard that song.

[17:37] Yeah, when Falcor had that hit.

[17:38] Austra is Falco.

[17:39] Yeah.

[17:40] Rock me, Iíll betray you.

[17:41] Boom.

[17:42] Boom.

[17:43] Finally, the Falco never-ending story pun the world is asking for.

[17:48] So weíre about 15 minutes into the movie.

[17:50] Thereís a veryó

[17:51] Iím still awake at this point.

[17:53] Thereís a veryó

[17:54] Donít worry, guys.

[17:55] Thereís a very boringó Dan will tell you when we get into the there-be-dragons section

[17:57] of the movie for him where he doesnít know what it is.

[18:00] Thereís a very boring shootout between Murphy and his partner and two other cops or two

[18:07] other just bad guys.

[18:08] Because theyíre undercover, I guess.

[18:09] Theyíre undercover as possible gun buyers and they set up a buy but they get caught

[18:14] out and Omar is shot and sent to the hospital.

[18:19] He is OK until he goes to his houseó

[18:22] The nurse is like, ìOmar coming.î On the gurney.

[18:26] The doctor is like, ìThat doesnít help me.î

[18:32] I asked you for a sponge and a spreader.

[18:36] Why are you whistling the farmer in the dell?

[18:42] Anyway, and the nurse is like, ìDid you not watch The Wire?

[18:45] Youíve got to watch it.î And the doctor is like, ìIím tired of people telling me

[18:50] Iíve got to watch The Wire.

[18:51] Iím a busy doctor.

[18:52] Iím going to clean off this plate and then spread apple butter all over a piece of bread.î

[18:57] Do you call a knife a spreader, doctor?

[19:00] Yeah, when youíre spreading things with it.

[19:02] Anyway, stop talking.

[19:03] Tell me about The Wire.

[19:04] Wow.

[19:05] Youíre racing through the cans tonight, Stuart.

[19:09] Anyway, Murphy goes home to his wife and child, always a mistake in these movies because it

[19:12] means youíre about to die.

[19:13] Heís going toó

[19:14] Maybe make out a little bit but do not take her top completely off.

[19:18] His wife takes off her shirt in preparation for sex but his car alarm goes off.

[19:23] When he goes out to turn it off, uh-oh, car blows up, car bomb.

[19:27] He is almost killed but it turns out heís the perfect candidate for the RoboCop initiative.

[19:32] I do have to say the scene of him being exploded by his car is shot very matter-of-factly like

[19:39] instead of doing any slow motion or like any other kind of camera tricks, the camera pulls

[19:45] back and you just see him open the door for a second then the car blows up but he flies

[19:49] into the background.

[19:50] It is almost hilariously deadpan, the way itís done.

[19:54] Itís almost like a European or a Japanese movie in that they chose not to move the car.

[20:00] camera at all. In a movie that moves the camera all the time.

[20:03] Constantly. I mean the way it's paced is like something out of a Steve Odekirk movie.

[20:07] You just make like a thumb with a face on it, just start talking about Robocop.

[20:11] Anyway, they start turning him into a Robocop. He doesn't like it. He is aware through the whole

[20:18] process. Aware what?

[20:20] Aware cop. During the full moon, he turns into a cop. He's like, what are you doing to me? Ah.

[20:27] And so over time. Stop touching there.

[20:30] Yeah, kind of. Over time, to make him less afraid and anxious as a human and a better Robocop,

[20:38] they start taking away his brain and making it more computer-y. So he's already just a head

[20:44] and lungs and a hand. And now they're breaking down his brain and making him more a computer

[20:49] program. In a genuinely creepy and cool scene.

[20:51] There's a part where he says, take this stuff off of me. And Gary Oldman's like, all right.

[20:56] And they remove all the robot parts and he's just a head and lungs and a hand.

[21:00] And an exposed brain.

[21:01] Yeah. And that's a genuinely like frightening and grotesque and interesting image. Yeah.

[21:06] There's a couple like, let me get this straight about this movie. I didn't like it very much,

[21:10] but it has some neat ideas in it and neat moments. There's a shootout scene later

[21:14] that's almost entirely lit by just muzzle flare while Robocop is running through a room and you

[21:20] just see the red of his visor slit and this muzzle flare lighting people up and occasionally night

[21:24] vision goggle visions of what's going on. And that would have been a really neat way to do that

[21:28] scene. Like that, but I mean, it wasn't paced particularly well. No, it was not an exciting

[21:33] scene. Like none of the action scenes in this are a nice idea. I'll say the only exciting action

[21:37] scene is this is later in the, when he starts fighting ED209s. Yeah. And that's more just

[21:41] because there's almost no way to make a man versus giant robots. Not exciting. The only

[21:48] way is Magnus robot fighter, the comic book, never exciting. Oh, wow. Burn. Actually,

[21:53] that's not true. It had some burn Fred Van Lente. No, the old ones. I'm saying the goal,

[21:58] the old gold key comics points to me out here, though, this is a significant deviation from the

[22:04] Robocop where a Robocop doesn't know that he's Murphy because his memories have been,

[22:11] they try to erase his. There's that great sequence where they keep bringing him to life

[22:15] to check him and you just see it through his point of view and then putting him back to sleep.

[22:19] And by the time they ring him out, he's more robot than man. He doesn't know who he was. But

[22:23] hey, let's not let's not play the game of in the old Robocop. I'm doing like an essay for

[22:32] a grade. Well, it's similar to the idea of like Robocop studies. Well, it's similar to the idea

[22:37] that this movie begins, whereas the other movie begins like upping the stakes, showing how like

[22:44] horribly violent it can be, making you totally scared of those criminals. Yeah. And totally

[22:50] scared of Ed 209 when it totally rips that dude up with its machine gun. Oh, man. Defining moment

[22:55] of my childhood when I saw the movie does not have any any of that. No, this movie, it's like

[23:00] they tell you at the beginning there's too much crime, but they never really show you a city

[23:05] on the edge or a city with too much crime. It just kind of looks like a regular city

[23:09] on the edge. There's like there's two spoilers, three cops madness.

[23:14] There's three bad cops in the in the Detroit Police Department. Otherwise, it seems like a

[23:19] normal city. But here's the thing. Robocop, after he's been de-emotionalized and computed up to the

[23:25] point where he doesn't even recognize his own wife and child anymore, he's unveiled to the public

[23:29] and he is an instant hit. And crime drops like a billion zillion percent as he just goes on the

[23:34] run because the public doesn't like personality. You know, that's true. There's a reason that

[23:39] Mickey Mouse is worth a billion dollars more than Bugs Bunny. Let me tell you anyway,

[23:45] sobering. But over time, Murphy begins to realize that something's up. He realizes that his wife,

[23:52] when she confronts him, that her emotions are anxious and unhappy and that his son is also

[23:57] showing anxiety. And he decides he's going to solve his last unsolved case, his own murder.

[24:05] He's a regular Boston brand dead man solving the case of his own killing.

[24:10] Although, sorry about that. What I do like the sequence where Robot Murphy is trying to

[24:17] identify. How much better would this movie be called if it was Robot Murphy?

[24:21] Robot Murphy sounds like a sitcom about a lovable garbage man who's a robot. Sir, I think we can

[24:26] come up with a better name than Robot Murphy. I mean, the guy's a police officer. That seems like

[24:31] it's more important. No, no, no, no. What's the name of the main character,

[24:35] Murphy? And I quote Shakespeare. What's in a name?

[24:39] Actually, sir, with that to do, deny that a name is important.

[24:45] OK, Robot Murphy. So I'm not sold on the whole cop idea either.

[24:51] What about like a robot fish tank salesman like he works at a fish store?

[24:57] Hmm. And here's the catch. The irony is the band fish doesn't care for him. What's the irony?

[25:02] The irony is that water normally is a robot's worst enemy.

[25:05] Now we're making a movie. The irony is his body's made of iron.

[25:12] So he's super irony. So every time he gestures towards a fish

[25:17] tank to sell it to a customer, you're like, oh, is this the end of Robot Murphy?

[25:22] Hmm. Oh, good movie. Anyway.

[25:25] Oh, no. So what I was saying is I like the I like the way that the that Robocop

[25:29] is trying to come to terms with his like the alienation of his wife and his son,

[25:34] like by being a robot, the way a robot would. Yeah. He has to read in his programming that

[25:39] they're upset, you know, and there's and like, that's another thing that

[25:44] that works kind of well until he starts investigating his own murder.

[25:48] Yes. When he goes to his house and he watches the video footage because there's part of the

[25:53] thing at concept is that there's closed circuit TV cameras everywhere. He has four around his

[25:57] own house. So his his murder has been captured from four angles and he keeps watching it.

[26:02] But he never rewinds the tape to see who put a bomb in his car, which would seem to be police

[26:06] work 101. And Stuart, you were saying like he should rewind back and it should turn out like

[26:11] the tape was deleted for some reason. And only a cop can do that or something

[26:16] because it because the arms dealer he's after is selling guns that were stolen from the police

[26:21] evidence locker. They shouldn't be on the streets. They shouldn't be in criminals hands.

[26:25] He manages to. But instead, he uses the footage from these closed circuit cameras to create like

[26:31] a virtual 3D world that he in his brain can wander around and analyze everything. Yeah,

[26:37] which is totally it's totally stupid. It's kind of like in Rocky Balboa. Rocky's just

[26:41] walking through his memories to make up any bullshit right now. Well, then there's the part

[26:46] where RoboCop, he walks into that lesbian sex show. And there's just the two girls who are

[26:52] doing it. But then three more girls come in and do it. Yep. And then Dan, what was that?

[26:57] I've seen that actress who really like a lot. They have a big crush on who said she wouldn't

[27:02] do nude scenes. Yeah, that one. Well, yeah, she's in it. And she is sitting on the lap of Dabney

[27:08] Coldman. Wait, is that a snowman who starred in Drexel's class? He was a lower end Spider-Man

[27:19] villain. Dabney Coldman. Why would it make the scene a hotter for Dan if Dabney Coleman is there?

[27:25] Yeah, he's got a mustache. He's semi-famous. I mean, he is famous. He was in War Games. He was

[27:32] in Cloak and Dagger. Yeah. How does it get more famous than that? Can I recommend Cloak and Dagger?

[27:37] There's no law against it. What else did they do that Dan would have liked? Did I mention that

[27:45] Talking Heads reunited in the movie? No. David Byrne said that would never happen. No,

[27:51] RoboCop made them bury the hatchet. Oh, no. Yeah. And then LCD Sound System was there.

[27:58] And what's another band you like? These Things You Care About Torch.

[28:01] Yeah, sure. To a new generation of a robot art rock. Yeah. Anyway, so he's investigating his

[28:08] own murder. He tracks down the guns to the arms dealer, kills him. He tracks those guns.

[28:13] After doing a little bit of old-fashioned police work. Yeah, it's a lot of leather shoe gumshoeing.

[28:18] It's really weird where they try to paint the picture of a futuristic society that's

[28:23] under constant observation. And yet RoboCop has to fall back on old school methods to track down

[28:30] this one dude. And yet they never take it all the way to RoboColumbo. One more thing, man.

[28:37] One more thing, Valadin. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. Beep boop. But one more question.

[28:43] One more thing, creep. So it looks like your penis got shot off.

[28:53] The specific creep from the original RoboCop. He's questioning him about

[28:57] the shooting that he just did. Yeah, you shot me because I was trying to rape that woman.

[29:01] That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. But one more question. How do I shoot you so well

[29:07] that I shot through her dress without hurting her? You're a robot, sir. That makes sense.

[29:12] That makes sense. Beep boop. Terrible detective. So it's ironically becoming a robot made him a

[29:19] worse detective. Great shot. Terrible detective. That's the tagline. You've got the tagline for

[29:26] Robot Murphy. Great shot. Terrible detective. Anyway, he's just a robot Murphy bed salesman.

[29:33] Wait, so he's a robot or the Murphy beds are robots?

[29:37] No, he's a robot. He's just he's selling his brothers into enslavement.

[29:44] Oh, terrible. No, you won't. For the comfort of meat bags. I'm cursing you to spend half the time

[29:51] in the wall and half the time being let laid on by I can't believe you sold me out to these

[29:56] flesh puppets. Anyway.

[30:00] I'll snore on top of them.

[30:02] Sleepy Dan, Sleepy Dan.

[30:05] Anyway, also your favorite musical duo, Sleepy Dan.

[30:10] Sure, Donald Fagin's great in that, or Daniel Fagin.

[30:13] Or Fagin from Oliver Twist.

[30:17] So anyway, he tracks these guns down to the corrupt cops.

[30:21] He takes them down.

[30:22] He's about to take down the chief of police,

[30:25] but he is shut down by the Omnicorps people, uh-oh,

[30:28] specifically by Jackie Earl Haley as the military connection

[30:34] for Omnicorps, who earlier was, we skipped over it.

[30:37] He was training Robocop and taunting him a lot.

[30:39] And he wears that exoskeleton.

[30:41] Being a real Freddy Krueger, bitch.

[30:45] He's a real bad news bear.

[30:48] He's a real pedophile from Little Children.

[30:49] He's a real Rorschach.

[30:51] He's a real, come on Dan, more Jackie Earl Haley.

[30:54] The other guy from Hard Target that's not She-McBride.

[30:59] Wait, what?

[31:01] He's on that TV show.

[31:02] Oh, not the movie Hard Target with Wilford Brimley?

[31:07] I wish Wilford Brimley had been the action hero star of Hard Target.

[31:11] I mean, isn't he riding that horse in the explosion?

[31:13] He pulls his head back, and that blade passes by it

[31:16] and sniffs off part of his mustache.

[31:20] I mean, he taught Chance Boudreau.

[31:22] All Chance Boudreau knows.

[31:23] Yeah, yeah.

[31:25] Is that Gambit's real name?

[31:26] No, that's Jean-Claude Van Damme in Hard Target.

[31:29] That's his actual name.

[31:30] I thought Jean-Claude Van Damme was Gambit,

[31:33] according to Wizard Magazine, circa 1995.

[31:36] Anyway, let's keep going.

[31:39] Meanwhile, I'm starting to think that I slept through this thing.

[31:45] They shut him down, and then they want to eliminate him.

[31:47] The company decides if he starts going after corrupt politicians,

[31:51] Robocop that is, he's going to reach all the corrupt politicians

[31:54] that we've had dealings with, because I guess Robocop is going to go nationwide

[31:57] and just become America's top Robocop.

[32:00] So they say, we're going to shut him down for good.

[32:03] We're going to present it as a hero died trying to take down corruption.

[32:07] People are going to love it.

[32:09] They'll give us more money to put more Robocops in more towns.

[32:12] Omnicore wins.

[32:13] Hooray, hooray.

[32:15] But Gary Oldman, who throughout the movie, let's just say,

[32:20] Stuart and I really like this character for most of it,

[32:22] because Gary Oldman was not outwardly evil the way

[32:25] that Michael Keaton's character is as the head of Omnicore.

[32:27] And he's not a do-gooder noble guy, because he is slowly selling out

[32:32] his principles as he works on dehumanizing Robocop.

[32:36] He starts out wanting to help people who have lost limbs regain their abilities.

[32:42] He's given this opportunity to rebuild a whole man who would have died.

[32:45] And now over time, in order to appease his bosses who are paying the money,

[32:50] he has to be kind of like.

[32:51] You're saying that he's becoming less human.

[32:54] Ah, he's becoming less human.

[32:56] Accountant to the stars, lesser human.

[32:58] It's a shit job.

[33:02] His journey parallels the roboticness.

[33:05] If this was a better movie, I would have said that, because unfortunately,

[33:09] Gary Oldman, who has had this kind of complex moral shading,

[33:12] now just becomes a hero.

[33:13] And he's like, we've got to save Robocop.

[33:16] His performance deserves so much more credit,

[33:18] since the person he acts opposite is Joel Cinnamon,

[33:23] or whatever his fucking name is, who is not but a robot.

[33:27] Joel Cinnamon, gay porn star.

[33:31] But yeah, Gary Oldman isn't given a lot to work with here.

[33:34] But he does good stuff with it.

[33:36] But at this point, he decides we've got to save Robocop.

[33:39] They bring Robocop back to life.

[33:41] And Robocop goes on a rampage at the Omnicore headquarters.

[33:45] He fights a bunch of ED-209s in a pretty cool fight scene,

[33:49] where he's like running underneath.

[33:51] He's standing underneath one ED-209 while another's trying to shoot him.

[33:54] And on the ED-209's display, it says, trying to get a clear shot,

[33:58] as if that ED-209 is like, I don't want to kill another one of me.

[34:02] That would be a friendly fire casualty.

[34:04] But then he just does anyway.

[34:06] Omar, who is back to good health, saves Robocop by showing up and standing

[34:11] in front of him with no guns in his hands.

[34:14] Because ED-209 can't shoot someone who's unarmed.

[34:19] So in this case.

[34:20] Just like in the original.

[34:21] No.

[34:22] No, in the original.

[34:23] Quite the opposite, my friend.

[34:27] Robocop gets up.

[34:29] Robocop's wife and son are, for some reason, in the Omnicore headquarters.

[34:32] Like Michael Keaton is going to kidnap them or something.

[34:34] I don't know.

[34:35] And he reaches him up to the top of the building,

[34:38] where Michael Keaton's going to helicopter away to freedom.

[34:42] Case closed, I guess.

[34:44] It's a real end-of-die-hard type moment.

[34:46] And Robocop tries to shoot him and Jackie Earl Haley.

[34:48] But uh-oh, they're red assets.

[34:51] And he's programmed not to be able to shoot them.

[34:54] What's he going to do?

[34:55] Turns out, shoot them anyway.

[34:57] Michael Keaton overplays his hand, threatens Robocop's family.

[35:00] And Robocop gets so mad that his emotions, I guess, overload the system.

[35:05] This was set up earlier in the movie, I remember, because I wasn't asleep.

[35:08] When they say that, when he gets emotional, the programming acts up.

[35:13] But that was before they removed like half his brain and put circuits in there.

[35:18] And also, that's a stupid thing to put in there, just a stupid reasoning.

[35:24] And the reason he's able to shoot Michael Keaton

[35:26] is because Michael Keaton goes on this awesome long monologue, where

[35:30] he's like threatening him.

[35:31] Then he threatens his family.

[35:33] And he's like, you're just a robot.

[35:34] You can't shoot me.

[35:35] You're a robot.

[35:36] Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[35:37] Robots can't do anything.

[35:38] Your arm's moving like you can shoot me.

[35:39] I don't think that could happen.

[35:41] I think, look, now you're pulling a trigger,

[35:42] like you're going to shoot me or something.

[35:44] Now a bullet's coming out of your gun.

[35:45] Like you think it's going to hit me?

[35:47] The only way that thing that could have saved that scene for me is he was like,

[35:51] I could kill your family right now, and you can't do anything.

[35:53] You're just a robot.

[35:54] I made you.

[35:55] Checks his watch.

[35:56] How much longer until the helicopter gets here?

[35:58] Like another minute?

[35:59] All right.

[35:59] OK, let's kill this time.

[36:00] Hey, man, you're just a robot.

[36:02] Like this monologue is because he's just killing time

[36:04] waiting for the helicopter to come get him.

[36:07] Anyway, in the end, Michael Keaton's dead.

[36:10] Robocop is.

[36:11] This is for Jack Frost, flammo.

[36:14] And he says, just kidding, I love you, Michael Keaton.

[36:16] I'm glad you're having a comeback.

[36:18] Just kidding.

[36:19] Beetlejuice was great.

[36:20] Glad you're back on top, Birdman forever.

[36:22] Which multiplicity did he kill?

[36:24] He killed the really dumb one.

[36:26] I kept calling him Doug.

[36:27] Yep, he killed the CG one, right?

[36:30] They're all CG.

[36:31] No, cash grab.

[36:33] Oh, I see, I see.

[36:35] So Murphy wins.

[36:39] They were all CG, like they're George Lucas's hair.

[36:41] What?

[36:44] George Lucas's hair is CG.

[36:45] It's CGI, right?

[36:46] Man, I missed a lot when I was asleep.

[36:48] Yeah, this was all in Robocop.

[36:50] You're too busy dreaming of Robocop,

[36:52] your movie about a RoboCop.

[36:54] He's half man, half Robo.

[36:56] This is some of the stuff we came up with earlier.

[36:58] Played by Brendan Gleeson, I would imagine.

[37:01] You'd be a great RoboCop.

[37:04] I would pay so much money to see that.

[37:08] He'd do a great job.

[37:09] I mean, he's a fine actor.

[37:10] He is a great actor, yeah.

[37:13] He really makes you care for RoboCop.

[37:15] The man who's half man, half Robo.

[37:17] Bad guy in that movie, Colm Meaney.

[37:21] Bugs Meaney's dad?

[37:22] Just send me that check, please.

[37:24] He just wants to sink all the Robo's.

[37:27] Anyway.

[37:27] He's an evil tugboat.

[37:28] Meanwhile, the Senate passes a law

[37:31] that says that you can allow robots to just fight

[37:34] crime in the streets.

[37:35] But now that-

[37:36] RoboCops can be jocks now.

[37:38] Now that all the truth has come out about Omnicore

[37:40] because Gary Oldman's character testified before Congress,

[37:43] Murphy's back on the force.

[37:45] The president vetoed that law.

[37:47] And Samuel L. Jackson is not happy about it.

[37:50] And it ends with this kind of like satirical but not funny

[37:53] rant.

[37:54] And we're out.

[37:56] And I will say that here's what I'll

[37:59] say in the favor of this movie.

[38:01] There were a couple of action scenes that were all right.

[38:04] It had some neat, good ideas to add to the RoboCop concept

[38:06] that didn't quite pan out.

[38:08] And while we were watching it, we came up with RoboCop

[38:10] and also the blaxploitation version of RoboCop, BloboCop.

[38:16] So that's a bad, bad movie from you in our final judgment.

[38:19] Well, I think it was, yeah, unfortunately a bad, bad movie.

[38:22] I had high hopes for it.

[38:23] Yeah, and I'm with you.

[38:24] It almost feels like some of the ideas

[38:26] were genuinely great ideas that if they had managed to work

[38:31] them into the original RoboCop, it would have been nice.

[38:34] Here's I'll tell you what this movie was missing.

[38:36] The first RoboCop has in spades, verve.

[38:39] There's like,

[38:40] Zazz.

[38:41] Whatever you want to call it, energy.

[38:43] Like the first.

[38:44] Personality.

[38:44] Yeah, well, the first RoboCop is entirely,

[38:46] it is a movie with a lot of charisma and energy.

[38:49] And this movie had none of that.

[38:51] It was a real listless kind of walking around robot.

[38:54] Almost all the performances are understated.

[38:57] Yeah.

[38:58] And whereas it kind of works for Gary Oldman's performance

[39:00] because he's Gary Oldman.

[39:02] But even Michael Keaton, he could ham it up a little bit more.

[39:05] I know he can.

[39:06] He's got it in him.

[39:07] The only guy who hams it up is Samuel L. Jackson,

[39:09] and they didn't even write any jokes for him.

[39:11] But he, like, he barely hams it up.

[39:13] He has some ham in there.

[39:15] There's some borscht in there.

[39:17] I think you're underestimating his ability to ham it up.

[39:20] Did you see that one where he's like wearing,

[39:22] that movie where he's wearing a kilt

[39:23] and he's got a weird little soul patch?

[39:25] Uh, oh yeah, yeah, Highlander.

[39:29] Formula something?

[39:30] Yes.

[39:31] Like a number?

[39:31] Formula something, a number.

[39:34] Oh yeah, and he's got a golf club.

[39:35] Anyway.

[39:35] I give this movie five out of five stars.

[39:39] It's a great nap at the movies.

[39:41] As I said, it was literally snorifying.

[39:44] For the first time, we watched a movie

[39:45] that you found literally snorifying.

[39:47] I don't recall that.

[39:50] This movie reminded me that the original RoboCop

[39:53] deserves a watching from me.

[39:55] Yeah, I want to watch it again.

[39:56] If they made this movie as a loss leader to get me to watch it,

[40:00] Robocop again, then yes, it worked.

[40:01] I mean, this movie was a hit.

[40:03] It made a lot of money, so I guess we're in the wrong.

[40:07] Let's move on to, I want to make a few announcements

[40:14] before we get on to letters.

[40:16] A reminder that the Flophouse is opening

[40:20] the New York Podfest on January 9th at the Bell House.

[40:26] January 9th, 2015, 10 p.m. at the Bell House.

[40:31] The Flophouse Live, the first ever live recorded episode

[40:35] of the podcast.

[40:36] Come see the Flophouse.

[40:37] Have your laughs be immortalized forever

[40:40] in this podcasting history event.

[40:43] Just like Ozymandias.

[40:45] Okay.

[40:46] Yeah, look upon my laughs, ye mighty, and despair.

[40:50] Long after you have passed from this mortal coil,

[40:53] the eerie sound of your ghostly laughter

[40:56] at a joke about boobs or butts will be recorded.

[40:59] We're floating on the winds of Egypt?

[41:01] We will be spreading out through the ether of space

[41:04] for alien civilizations to discover.

[41:06] Awesome.

[41:07] So that's a thing.

[41:09] Future historians will reconstruct you from your laughs.

[41:12] And.

[41:13] And perhaps your questions, spoiler.

[41:16] I also wanted to plug Slate got in touch about.

[41:22] That's the website Slate.

[41:24] The website Slate.

[41:25] Not the rock formation.

[41:27] And not Fred Flintstone's boss, Mr. Slate?

[41:32] Probably.

[41:33] There's gotta be a Slate character.

[41:35] Not Mr. Rockley or something.

[41:36] No, his name was Stones Rock Stone.

[41:40] What is he, Italian?

[41:42] His name was Pebble Rock Boulder.

[41:45] Before the January 9th show,

[41:47] I out of the three of us, so not as good,

[41:52] but still pretty good.

[41:54] But hey, you won't be sick or tired at the time, right?

[41:56] Yeah, I'm hoping.

[41:57] Jesus, if I'm still sick in December, shoot me.

[42:01] Jesus, pull out a gun from your holster.

[42:04] Shoot me dead.

[42:05] So no, Slate is doing something in videology

[42:09] in Williamsburg.

[42:10] Brooklyn.

[42:11] At 6.30 p.m., which I assume that's a door's open time

[42:15] to start at seven, but the details are fuzzy thus far.

[42:19] But they do this show where there's video clips

[42:23] and people talk about them,

[42:26] and it's hosted by Dana Stevens, Slate's film critic,

[42:29] who you probably know from the Slate Cultural Gab Fest,

[42:33] if you listen to a lot of podcasts.

[42:37] And the last one was $10.

[42:40] I'm sure that this one will be comparable.

[42:43] $200.

[42:44] Because we've got a big celebrity named Dan McCoy.

[42:47] Yep.

[42:48] Sweet McCoy, Dan McCoy.

[42:50] It'll be about holiday movies, is the topic.

[42:55] And that is on December the 13th.

[43:02] You okay, Dan?

[43:03] Dan, how much cough syrup did you drink

[43:05] before we recorded?

[43:06] Yeah, I'm roving right now.

[43:07] No, I...

[43:08] Roving cop.

[43:09] Roving cop.

[43:11] About a policeman who's done a lot of roving.

[43:14] I thought I had written the date down here,

[43:16] but I didn't, so I had to pull it out of my sleepy brain.

[43:19] Okay.

[43:20] That was what was going on.

[43:21] And before we move on to letters,

[43:22] also I'd like to thank Shannon

[43:25] for sending us these lovely t-shirts

[43:27] we're wearing right now.

[43:28] Are you talking about the queen of flop prom, Shannon Camp?

[43:32] Yeah, I am talking about that.

[43:33] She sent us some shirts from Pizzeria DeVille.

[43:38] Are you reading my shirt?

[43:39] Yeah.

[43:40] Well, it's right there, man.

[43:43] I'm pulling a Marlon Brando.

[43:45] My lines are on your shirt.

[43:47] Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[43:49] Yeah.

[43:49] Pulling a Marlon Brando?

[43:50] Because we used to just say masturbating.

[43:55] He's a real big piece of meat.

[44:07] Is this the first podcast that a host will die during?

[44:10] So, that's the thing.

[44:13] Maybe one of us should have done the announcements.

[44:15] That's the thing with Dan McCord.

[44:22] Were we that things?

[44:23] We should go on to letters.

[44:25] Letters.

[44:28] Come on, it's going to be a tumbleweed ballad.

[44:31] Letters, pull them out of a bag.

[44:35] Elliot, why don't you grab a handful?

[44:39] Letters.

[44:42] All right, well, thanks, guys.

[44:44] On that lonesome letter trail,

[44:48] roping cattle, reading letters to cattle.

[44:51] Dear cattle, here's a letter for you.

[44:54] It's lonesome out here, reading letters.

[44:59] Under the stars.

[45:00] Yippee-ki-yay, kayo.

[45:04] Letters.

[45:05] Get along, little letters.

[45:09] Letters.

[45:11] Get along time, letters.

[45:14] Do you have an Indian flute?

[45:16] Or an American flute, I guess.

[45:19] That song went along long enough

[45:21] that I'm going to skip over the first letter.

[45:23] Oh, come on, Dan.

[45:24] And move on to the second.

[45:26] I think you're coughing.

[45:26] Slow this down.

[45:28] No, we're just running slow anyway.

[45:30] So, let's go to this.

[45:31] Dearest flop guys, I'm a big shot executive from CBS.

[45:34] Oh, sweet.

[45:36] Please do not check my LinkedIn profiles.

[45:37] That is bad form and will upset the deal.

[45:39] I just wanted to let you guys know

[45:40] that everyone here at our television network, CBS,

[45:44] loves what you're doing with the new media MP3 paradigm.

[45:47] As such, you are now all hired

[45:49] to make a children's variety television show

[45:52] titled The Flop House.

[45:54] Naturally, all three of you will be living

[45:56] in a wacky and a wild house

[45:57] with crazy animatronic characters and goofy hygiene.

[46:00] Animatronic?

[46:01] What was that, Dan?

[46:02] Animatronic.

[46:03] You'll each have your own bedroom

[46:05] and Rube Goldbergian breakfast machine of your own design.

[46:07] Maybe even a shed in the backyard to keep pets and family.

[46:11] Now, we're willing to give you guys a lot of free reign,

[46:13] but you're contractually obligated

[46:15] to do the following segments.

[46:17] Snack time with Stuart.

[46:19] I don't think that's gonna be a problem.

[46:20] Stuart gets hungry and goes to the fridge

[46:22] to meet his friend, Wormy Boner,

[46:24] a worm who lives in an apple

[46:25] famous for his remarkable bone density.

[46:28] Together, they prepare a healthy, calcium-rich snack

[46:31] brought to you by the Bone and Sardines

[46:33] and Milk Trust of Canada.

[46:35] The Ziggydrome with Elliot.

[46:37] I like it.

[46:38] Elliot uses his mad scientist technology

[46:40] to bring his favorite characters

[46:41] from the newspaper funnies to life.

[46:43] Using nothing but a 1970s-era Cray supercomputer,

[46:47] some leftover Popeye's bones placed in a pattern

[46:49] to divine which spirits are in the room.

[46:51] In an improvised song,

[46:52] watch as ink becomes flesh and newsprint becomes bone.

[46:56] Learn the true voice of Rose from Rose's Rose.

[46:59] That's one of my favorite concerts.

[47:02] Become aware of Dilbert's attitudes on men's rights.

[47:06] Just kind of sit uncomfortably

[47:08] while the lock horns bicker.

[47:11] The Portal of Time with Dan.

[47:13] Dan McCoy has a lot of great memories.

[47:15] Watch the ship's window next to Dan's favorite

[47:17] knee-friendly recliner spark and sputter to life

[47:19] as Dan describes movies he saw on the plane

[47:21] or something he saw on the History Channel that afternoon.

[47:24] I haven't watched the History Channel.

[47:25] No, come on.

[47:26] Dan hates history.

[47:27] Around the World with the Cab Keeper.

[47:30] The Crypt Keeper's brother has a magic cab

[47:31] that can drive anywhere in the world for the right fare.

[47:34] The original peaches show America

[47:35] what life is like all over the planet.

[47:38] No need to thank us.

[47:39] The check is in the mail, and by reading this letter,

[47:40] you are contractually obligated

[47:42] to make five seasons of 16 episodes.

[47:44] Please submit blueprints for each of your rooms

[47:46] and await by the helipad for extraction.

[47:49] Helipad?

[47:50] Is that where the Gila monsters live?

[47:52] CBS, a.k.a.

[47:53] So venomous.

[47:54] Ten last names withheld.

[47:56] So my room's gonna have just like one giant round bed.

[48:01] Yeah?

[48:02] Yeah, because round beds are sexier than normal beds.

[48:05] Yeah, because you like to be dizzy when you're having sex.

[48:07] I'm not saying it's moving around in a circle.

[48:09] We've already talked about this.

[48:09] We've talked about this.

[48:11] I'm just saying round.

[48:12] Because the only, because the sexiest shape is round.

[48:15] And pillows should fall off all the time.

[48:18] Hey, look guys, real beds have curves, okay?

[48:22] I mean, all this talk of beds and pillows,

[48:24] just live with it.

[48:26] This is the first time I've ever seen a real life person

[48:28] do the cartoon thing where you're so tired

[48:30] your body just floats in the air into a bed

[48:33] and then the sheets roll up to tuck you in

[48:36] and the moon blows you a kiss.

[48:39] Oh, the moon and I have had a thing for a while.

[48:41] Whoa, I didn't realize that.

[48:43] Yeah.

[48:43] He has a body sometimes when he plays the piano

[48:45] at McDonald's.

[48:46] As Mack tonight.

[48:49] So Dan, you and Mack tonight, right?

[48:51] It was Jay Leno.

[48:53] No, Jay Leno was.

[48:54] Creepy, reflective paint.

[48:56] Jay Leno was Doritos Jumpin' Jack Cheese.

[48:58] Oh.

[49:00] Which is why as a kid I thought his name was Jack Cheese.

[49:03] Yeah, I imagine.

[49:04] Because I didn't understand.

[49:05] Jumping was just something that he did.

[49:06] Just enjoyed, you know, you know.

[49:07] I imagine that Jay Leno and Michael Shannon

[49:09] would be in a fight to see who would play Mack tonight

[49:12] in the live action, the hardcore movie,

[49:14] hardcore porn movie.

[49:17] Jay Leno would be like,

[49:18] look, didn't you see me in Collision Course

[49:21] with Pat Morita?

[49:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[49:23] And Michael Shannon would be like,

[49:24] didn't you see me in My Son, My Son, What Have You Done?

[49:26] And Jay Leno would be like, nobody saw that movie.

[49:32] So next letter.

[49:33] So letters, Dan.

[49:34] So those all sound like great show ideas.

[49:36] Let's do it, CBS.

[49:37] Thanks.

[49:38] Welcome home.

[49:39] So then this next one goes.

[49:40] I'll start dusting off an Emmy spot or Golden Globe.

[49:43] What do you earn for being on a TV show?

[49:46] Money.

[49:47] Okay.

[49:48] Not just statues?

[49:50] No, the statues are fine, but the money's better.

[49:52] Dear Elliot and only Elliot and absolutely anyone else

[49:55] who reads this email will be struck by a gypsy curse.

[50:00] Gipsy curses to make Dan sleepier.

[50:04] Tired.

[50:06] Presuming I can get a gypsy to play as a curse at a reasonable rate.

[50:08] They're called Romani.

[50:10] If I recall...

[50:11] Maybe I give them a button or some kind of wampum or something.

[50:14] Oh, boy.

[50:15] That was maybe the most racist thing that's ever been said on this podcast.

[50:19] But continue, Dan. Get us into more trouble.

[50:21] I apologize.

[50:22] If I recall correctly, on a previous episode of The Flophouse,

[50:25] you mentioned that Mystery Science Theater 3000 is one of your favorite shows,

[50:28] if not your very favorite show.

[50:30] Very true.

[50:30] Well then, perhaps you'd be interested in knowing that I have a book coming out about that very show,

[50:35] titled The Comic Galaxy of Mystery Science Theater 3000,

[50:39] 12 Classic Episodes and the Movies They Lampoon.

[50:42] It's a sort of critical analysis of the show,

[50:44] but also it has references to The Simpsons and The Tall Man stuff.

[50:48] Feel free to check it out.

[50:49] I'd appreciate it immensely.

[50:50] Maybe even tell Dan and Stuart about it.

[50:53] I'd hate for them to be left out of this opportunity.

[50:55] Why it could even be mentioned on the podcast.

[50:57] Dan, did a spam box send us a letter?

[51:00] And what about a great deal on sunglasses?

[51:03] Dick pills?

[51:05] Would you like those?

[51:06] What else can I get you?

[51:07] I was recently mugged in Wales, and I need you to send me money right now.

[51:11] I'm a Nigerian prince.

[51:12] My name is Jonah.

[51:15] Jonah?

[51:16] Mugged in Wales.

[51:17] I get it, yeah.

[51:19] Keep up, Dan. Come on.

[51:22] These are the jokes, Dan.

[51:23] Unfortunately.

[51:24] Continue reading, please.

[51:26] Anyone interested in the book can find it on the internet

[51:30] by searching for The Comic Galaxy of Mystery Science Theater 3000 by Chris Morgan.

[51:34] Again, that's The Comic Galaxy of Mystery Science Theater 3000 by Chris Morgan.

[51:39] Chris' last name withheld.

[51:41] Wait a minute.

[51:41] I thought it would be nice to do a little something for a fan.

[51:45] Now we're going to read that book.

[51:46] Don't expect it, everyone else.

[51:47] So offensive.

[51:49] One star on Amazon.

[51:51] How did this guy pay?

[51:53] Well, he paid by writing his letter before I demanded money for these things.

[51:57] He got it just under the wire.

[51:59] Yeah.

[52:00] So this last letter.

[52:01] It's called a grandfather clause.

[52:03] Yeah, you can't fool me.

[52:04] There's no grandfather clause.

[52:05] My grandfather's got terrifying clause.

[52:08] His name's Wolverine.

[52:12] Grandpa, grandpa, show me your clause.

[52:14] Yeah, yeah, snake, snake.

[52:15] Okay, whatever.

[52:16] Grandpa's been taking a nap.

[52:17] It's a weird old-time comedy routine.

[52:20] The 2000-year-old Wolverine.

[52:22] Growing up as a kid on Matterport is tough, even when your grandpa's Patch.

[52:27] Call me Patch.

[52:29] Call me Dog Logan or whatever.

[52:32] What?

[52:33] Wolverine's a one-man show.

[52:35] It's all the characters I could talk about.

[52:37] It's Stuart's one-man show about growing up as Wolverine's grandson.

[52:40] What are they, the hand ninjas always bugging you?

[52:44] Yeah.

[52:45] Ninjas are always bugging you.

[52:47] I'll never forget when Jubilee took my virginity.

[52:52] That's one of the scenes.

[52:54] There were fireworks that night, I'll tell you.

[52:57] So, this last letter is from Elle Kennedy,

[53:02] whom you may remember as our romance novel author.

[53:06] Oh, yeah.

[53:07] So, Elle Kennedy writes—

[53:09] She wrote that book about Jubilee and the young teen boy.

[53:13] And the billionaire dinosaur.

[53:15] Summer of 92.

[53:17] Yeah, and the billionaire baby dinosaur.

[53:20] Feel free not to read this note on the podcast because it's actually kind of pointless.

[53:23] Well, I felt free to ignore that.

[53:26] But I had to share this with you.

[53:28] So, I totally used one of Elliot's silly descriptions for abs

[53:32] to describe the hero of my latest book.

[53:34] Oh, this might be Stew's, actually.

[53:35] Yeah, yeah.

[53:36] Heroin remarks that he's shredded like lettuce.

[53:39] That's Stew's, yeah. That's a Stewart phrase.

[53:40] Shredded like a ninja turtle is Elliot's.

[53:42] And my editor comes back with,

[53:44] nobody would say something that weird.

[53:48] As a joke, I changed it to shredded like a ninja turtle.

[53:52] At which point she says, and I quote,

[53:55] that's a lot better.

[53:58] You guys need to describe a dude's body.

[54:00] Your editor is insane.

[54:02] And yet she didn't go for cum gutters, your usual phrase.

[54:06] You guys need to describe a dude's body in a bunch of new ways for future podcasts

[54:10] because I'll be taking notes.

[54:11] Keep on flopping in the free world.

[54:12] What about, like, all knobbly down there for abs?

[54:16] Um, yeah.

[54:18] Like smog's belly?

[54:21] Like half a mile of rough road.

[54:24] How about cobblestone abs?

[54:29] Smog's belly would be appropriate

[54:31] if you consider the belly button as being the missing chink in the armor

[54:34] that a black arrow finds.

[54:36] The one jewel that's not there.

[54:38] That jewel, the singer.

[54:40] His testicles were craggly.

[54:42] Like the cracked mud of a desert.

[54:46] No, that doesn't work.

[54:48] How about this?

[54:49] Uh, his scrotum hung there,

[54:52] like a crank clinging for dear life to the edge of a cliff.

[54:58] How about that?

[54:59] His scrotum hung there like a bat

[55:02] clinging upside down from the bottom of his taint.

[55:05] His Donovan's brain pouch was immaculate.

[55:10] Romance novels are primarily concerned with describing the scrotum, right?

[55:15] I think so, yeah.

[55:17] The most romantic part of a man's body.

[55:22] Yeah.

[55:24] I just know that there's that one,

[55:27] that famous one, scrote learning.

[55:29] What?

[55:30] Instead of rote learning.

[55:31] Anyway, scrote memorization, that's what you would call it.

[55:34] Yep, so let's, um...

[55:35] So anyway, other things for abs.

[55:37] We'll work on it.

[55:37] Yeah, sure.

[55:39] His abs were like the pebbles in the bottom of a fish tank.

[55:43] His abs were bumpy, like abs.

[55:47] His abs resembled nothing more than a bunch of sexy abs.

[55:52] His wiener looked great, like a giant combo.

[55:59] Like a pizza flavor, you remember?

[56:01] Yeah, of course.

[56:02] Well, we leave it up to the reader's imagination as to what kind of combo it is.

[56:05] It's the reader's, whatever their favorite combo.

[56:07] Yeah, whether it's pizza, cheese, pepperoni.

[56:10] Whatever the woman can fill in that information herself.

[56:13] Yeah, yeah, because the most erotic place is the mind.

[56:17] So harnessing...

[56:18] You know, in my day...

[56:19] That's the largest erogenous noun, Elliot.

[56:21] In my day, we had to use our imagination to decide what combo a man's penis was.

[56:27] It wasn't just fed to us like TV does.

[56:31] On the shadow, when they described a man's penis as looking like a combo,

[56:35] we had to fill in the details.

[56:38] And fill in the details of what a combo was.

[56:41] It hadn't been invented yet.

[56:44] Was it made out of a pretzel casing?

[56:47] Or some kind of a, I don't know, cracker roll?

[56:52] Back then, combos only had one thing.

[56:54] There wasn't any combination.

[56:56] Because of the war, cheese filling was desperately needed to beat Tojo and Hitler.

[57:06] All the pretzels were rationed.

[57:09] And we liked it, bed dang nabbit!

[57:11] So, that's the history of erotica.

[57:15] Gummy worms were made out of tin.

[57:19] And nerds' candies were made of real nerds.

[57:22] Because of the war.

[57:25] Necco casing...

[57:26] Necco wafers were made of the same thing they always have been made out of.

[57:29] Dust.

[57:31] And we renamed Swedish fish Freedom Fish.

[57:34] So, anyway.

[57:37] That was the point in the podcast where we recommend movies that we liked and didn't sleep through.

[57:43] Is that possible? Are there such films?

[57:45] You just got back from Austin, guys. What did you guys watch on the plane?

[57:49] The plane really didn't have...

[57:51] No, it was an old plane that did not... It played a movie, but...

[57:55] Everyone had to watch the same movie on a tiny screen above you.

[57:58] I won't say what terrible airline it was, but it was Delta.

[58:04] Great, now they're never going to sponsor us.

[58:06] I mean, while I was in Austin, I did see Birdman, but that's not the movie I'm going to recommend tonight.

[58:10] Oh, wow. Burn... Man?

[58:13] What? More like Burn Man.

[58:16] That's what I was going to say.

[58:16] Which I guess would be, what, Firestarter?

[58:18] Yeah.

[58:19] Or The Human Torch?

[58:20] Is there a movie called The Human Torch?

[58:22] There will be.

[58:23] Okay.

[58:24] Firestarter.

[58:26] Burn Little Lady. Or Three Burns and a Little Lady.

[58:29] Mr. Burns and a Little Lady.

[58:31] Dan seems to be finally going into his post-nap fugue state.

[58:36] So I'll talk. The movie I'm going to recommend is a movie called The Woman Chaser.

[58:40] It's starring Patrick Warburton. It's from 1999.

[58:43] It's a movie I've wanted to see since it came out and yet only got to this year

[58:48] because it just wasn't readily available for a long time.

[58:51] But then the A.V. Club tipped me off through the form of an article

[58:55] that it was available on Netflix streaming,

[58:56] and I just finally got to watch this movie I've been wanting to see for a long time.

[59:00] And it is a movie set in the 50s,

[59:03] and Patrick Warburton plays a really tough but good used car dealer

[59:09] who is tired of his life selling used cars and finds himself in a rut,

[59:13] so he decides to enter the film business through his stepfather,

[59:17] who is a former film director.

[59:19] And he makes a movie that he finds to be perfect,

[59:22] but the studio wants him to change it, and so he basically goes mad.

[59:28] He's this weird, uncompromising character who's a real dick to everybody,

[59:33] but it's Patrick Warburton, so there's this kind of level of charm and likability to him,

[59:38] and it feels at times like he's kind of testing out

[59:41] for eventually playing Brock Sampson on Adventure Brothers.

[59:44] The movie itself is an interesting one.

[59:47] It's got a lot of wannabe Coen brothers, wannabe Tarantino stuff about it.

[59:53] There's some stuff that it does that the man who wasn't there would do better a few years later.

[1:00:00] uh... i like a lot it's it's this

[1:00:02] you know tight little ninety minute

[1:00:04] weirdo kind of comedy kind of

[1:00:06] nor movie

[1:00:08] uh... pat warburton's really good

[1:00:10] so the woman chaser

[1:00:12] on netflix

[1:00:13] is playing at

[1:00:15] your computer

[1:00:16] rated

[1:00:17] uh... are probably i don't know swearing in it

[1:00:22] i want to write him into movies i'll try and do it fast even though i

[1:00:26] sleepy ones a movie trailer

[1:00:28] now i uh... they're both available on netflix streaming

[1:00:32] i watch short term twelve which is smooth about

[1:00:35] it's who've had uh...

[1:00:38] it or in you know sort of like

[1:00:40] they'd like they've been taken

[1:00:42] from the family are in dangerous situations family home

[1:00:45] and place in short term care

[1:00:48] and so they like short circuit to yes exactly short circuit to there's uh...

[1:00:53] they play old songs on a keypad horrible and how are the locals

[1:00:57] represented

[1:01:00] uh... anyone kick balls into outer space is a point

[1:01:04] that's why we're uh... christianson goes

[1:01:06] it takes a tough man to make it into

[1:01:08] chicken yeah the locals gang ron

[1:01:13] uh... took me a little while but it was very important to me to master it is

[1:01:17] what i would have to do it

[1:01:18] yeah you break it out right now

[1:01:20] uh... those locals kick your

[1:01:22] wait those locals kick your ass those locals kick your face

[1:01:25] those locals kick your balls into outer space

[1:01:29] yeah alright well anyway short term twelve

[1:01:32] uh... it's uh... it's a it's a little film

[1:01:36] uh... stars brie larson only two inches high

[1:01:38] who uh... i had seen

[1:01:40] and uh...

[1:01:42] less than like

[1:01:44] roles that would not normally be standout roles uh... and uh... twenty one jump

[1:01:48] street and

[1:01:49] a small role in the worst season of community

[1:01:53] but she always impressed me in those and this is a film to right uh... yes

[1:01:58] but this is like she's a star and she's

[1:02:00] uh... without question the star of the film and is tremendous and

[1:02:04] the movie

[1:02:05] at its best

[1:02:06] is

[1:02:07] a very like sort of sensitive realistic portrait uh...

[1:02:11] at its worst tickets a little

[1:02:14] body and unrealistic and the stuff that's too much polities

[1:02:18] well the stuff that's really good kind of throws the stuff that's a little false

[1:02:22] into greater relief

[1:02:23] but overall

[1:02:25] i liked it a lot

[1:02:26] and i also want to recommend phase four

[1:02:30] a lot of movies with numbers in the titles

[1:02:32] the only movie that uh... saul bass directed uh... famous designer

[1:02:37] saul bass who

[1:02:38] you know from things like say the north by northwest credit sequence or the psycho

[1:02:42] credit sequence or the anatomy of a murder credit sequence

[1:02:45] so many credits claiming credit for the psycho shower sequence that you have to

[1:02:49] react

[1:02:50] or uh...

[1:02:51] people on the internet

[1:02:53] re-imagining things as if they're saul bass

[1:02:55] things you may know from that i mean i wouldn't really give him credit for

[1:02:58] those well

[1:03:00] influential he could be a person on the internet

[1:03:03] but um...

[1:03:04] so it's lawnmower man

[1:03:07] saul bass aka the lawnmower man

[1:03:10] has been terrorizing the internet with his credit sequences

[1:03:14] it's a movie about uh...

[1:03:15] there's this sort of disturbance from outer space that

[1:03:19] gets all of the ants uh... on the earth talking to one another like my aunt

[1:03:24] wendy and my aunt carol

[1:03:26] ants ants insects they're on different sides of my family they don't really talk to each other

[1:03:31] but um...

[1:03:32] the ants have become smart and they start working together and they start working together

[1:03:36] against humanity

[1:03:38] and uh...

[1:03:40] a couple of scientists are trying to figure out

[1:03:42] a way to

[1:03:45] stop them communicate with them whatever they can do

[1:03:48] uh... and it's

[1:03:49] a very interesting movie because it's like

[1:03:51] they take this sort of absurd premise you know like the ants are going to kill us

[1:03:55] and they treat it

[1:03:57] as seriously i think as such a premise could be treated like it's

[1:04:01] it's this weird combination of sort of like hard science fiction

[1:04:05] and dreamy like nineteen seventies uh...

[1:04:09] semi-surrealism and like saw bass's design

[1:04:14] eye is beautiful and it uses a lot of

[1:04:18] footage close-up footage of real ants

[1:04:21] in a way that

[1:04:22] doesn't look like nature photography it looks like it was

[1:04:26] somehow they taught these ants to act they got some acting ants yeah like it

[1:04:29] really tells the story visually through these ants and it's pretty amazing so

[1:04:33] like in a bugs life

[1:04:35] yeah exactly like in a bugs life

[1:04:38] perfect

[1:04:39] then kevin spacey plays hopper

[1:04:42] dennis hopper yeah it's it's the dennis hopper story but it's told all through ants

[1:04:47] so it's my turn to recommend a movie

[1:04:50] so i'm gonna recommend a movie that uh... might still be in theaters or you

[1:04:55] might have to wait a little while for it to catch it it's called it happened one night

[1:04:58] i'm not sure whether it's still in theaters but you can check it out

[1:05:02] it's a movie called jonathan wick

[1:05:05] uh... starring keanu

[1:05:07] jonathan wick mickey

[1:05:09] it's uh... starring keanu reeves you might know him from

[1:05:14] the matrixes

[1:05:18] or the first of the speeds

[1:05:20] yep the first of the speeds so

[1:05:23] uh... it

[1:05:24] this year two thousand fourteen people

[1:05:27] has been a great year for action movies you have your raids two

[1:05:31] you have your the guests

[1:05:32] you have your live dies repeat etc

[1:05:35] well john wick continues that tradition

[1:05:39] with your book

[1:05:42] john wick is a man that contrasts

[1:05:46] with the lexer's dictionary defines john wick as a total madness

[1:05:51] and something that's in a candle

[1:05:54] uh...

[1:05:55] this is a hard-hitting mark twain once said

[1:05:58] don't let john wick get in the way of your education

[1:06:01] i believe this is true john wick

[1:06:04] keanu reeves

[1:06:06] this is like a taken type movie

[1:06:08] kinda it's a it's a it's a straightforward revenge story about a

[1:06:12] former super bad ass

[1:06:14] left the life behind

[1:06:16] after performing the impossible job

[1:06:18] but he comes back to the life after his uh... spoiler alert

[1:06:24] to wick

[1:06:25] with a john played by keanu

[1:06:28] after an opening monologue to stewart

[1:06:31] his movie recommendation after an opening montage where we find out the

[1:06:35] seeking a raise morning the loss of his wife

[1:06:38] she uh... his dead wife

[1:06:41] uh... gives him a final parting gift of a of a very cute puppy

[1:06:45] which gets murdered by the guy who plays thing in great joy from uh...

[1:06:50] the game of thrones show i think

[1:06:52] i don't want to make

[1:06:53] who's what it

[1:06:55] uh... and then he goes on a totes awesome revenge spree

[1:06:58] now the thing about this movie is it's directed by a a former stuntman i think

[1:07:03] or a fight choreographer

[1:07:04] so the action scenes are all very readable

[1:07:07] uh... images to be very

[1:07:09] on and that they are smart enough to surround keanu reeves who is

[1:07:13] kind of a boring dude

[1:07:15] with

[1:07:16] very fun and exciting uh... side characters

[1:07:19] including uh... in the chain

[1:07:22] lance reddick from wire

[1:07:23] william defoe

[1:07:24] et cetera

[1:07:26] so it is a wonderful it is a little difficult for a second like a little

[1:07:29] bit of a little bit of a little

[1:07:32] uh... a little robson crusoe

[1:07:34] and a little more flanders

[1:07:36] so

[1:07:38] run don't walk to your movie theater because it's probably not going to be

[1:07:41] there very long but it's great it's fun

[1:07:44] how many weeks do you get it

[1:07:45] i'd give it five weeks

[1:07:48] out of two hundred

[1:07:49] but it's not very good at all

[1:07:53] uh... two hundred which is a terrible score to have also the fewer weeks you

[1:07:56] have a six weeks is the best

[1:07:58] but i think that

[1:08:00] this is a crazy bonkers

[1:08:03] this is going to go to see the movie that's all i'm saying no spoilers

[1:08:08] fans of the movie will get it

[1:08:10] uh... so now we do then now we talk about letters we like to sleep

[1:08:15] i would love to talk about tonight and i don't know no no i'm caught in a time

[1:08:19] loop

[1:08:20] yeah i'll never get to that

[1:08:21] so robocop is taking the words now cop or police officer

[1:08:26] and

[1:08:27] robert

[1:08:29] it's robert o cop alright come on guys he's in it he's actually that's the

[1:08:35] joke we did on on the daily show when the star of robocop was a guest

[1:08:39] the movie was called robocop

[1:08:40] it's about an irish policeman

[1:08:42] the audience loved it stewart

[1:08:45] uh...

[1:08:47] so anyway it's called robocop it's about a cop who's depressed and doesn't get out of his robe and get dressed for his job

[1:08:53] but he's still cracking crimes and solving slimes

[1:08:58] that's a lie man

[1:09:01] throwing creeps in jail but not reading his mail

[1:09:06] does that make him a bad

[1:09:07] bad boy on the edge that doesn't read his mail

[1:09:10] a bad boy on the edge he's still throwing the book at him but the book is

[1:09:14] a book of photos of his ex-wife

[1:09:16] that's why he's so depressed he got divorced

[1:09:20] is that like from a vanity publisher

[1:09:23] it's a vanity publisher yeah

[1:09:26] uh... he's still kicking ass and attending mass because he's catholic

[1:09:29] it's the most terrifying book you'll ever read

[1:09:32] pictures of my ex-wife

[1:09:35] uh... so anyway we'll learn what other things that this cop likes to do that rhymes

[1:09:40] but for now we should sign off

[1:09:42] i've been dan mccoy i've been stewart wellington he's still shutting down

[1:09:46] creeps and making beeps when he pushes buttons that make a beep sound

[1:09:52] and i'm elliot caylen goodnight everyone

[1:10:00] House, Dan, House McCoy, it is.

[1:10:03] The House of Flops.

[1:10:05] Flophouse.

[1:10:07] Hey, everybody, Flophouse time.

[1:10:09] This is the loudest, I'm gonna talk.

[1:10:12] This is the quietest, I'm gonna talk.

[1:10:15] That was more high-pitched than quiet.

[1:10:19] Okay, whenever you're ready, Dan.

[1:10:22] All right.

[1:10:23] Or we can just tuck you back in.

[1:10:23] Been ready.

[1:10:24] Yep, let's put a little sleeping pill on that.

[1:10:27] Been ready since first call.

[1:10:29] Just put you to sleep in your little matchbox bed

[1:10:31] inside your mouse hole house.

The Flop House_ Episode #165 - Robocop (2014)

Transcript

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