Ep. #196 - Aloha

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Aloha.

[0:04] Hello?

[0:06] Goodbye.

[0:31] Hey, everyone, welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:35] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:37] Hello, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:39] And I'm Elliot Kalin, coming to you live on tape.

[0:44] That's not true. Okay, well, there you go.

[0:46] I'm not dead.

[0:47] You fixed it.

[0:48] Yet.

[0:49] Unless when you're listening to this, I'll have died already.

[0:51] Far in the future, hopefully.

[0:52] In which case, find my killer.

[0:54] Okay.

[0:55] All right, it's Stuart.

[0:56] Oh, that was easy.

[0:57] It was me, you found me.

[0:58] Why'd you do it, Stu? Why'd you do it?

[1:00] Well, it all goes back to the tale of the missing diamond.

[1:07] Not the most original or imaginative name for the tale, I guess.

[1:11] It's an old story.

[1:12] It was the first time a diamond was missing.

[1:15] Every other diamond story.

[1:17] I like that it wasn't stolen.

[1:18] It was just missing.

[1:19] It was missing.

[1:20] Like it dropped on the floor and someone vacuumed it up.

[1:22] This was before floors existed.

[1:25] What?

[1:27] The dawn of time.

[1:28] It just kept zooming back and forth in the earth until it finally settled.

[1:33] Just one thing, Mr. Wellington.

[1:35] You say this was the dawn of time, but it was a diamond.

[1:38] Wouldn't it take millions of years to turn anything into a diamond?

[1:42] So how could there be one at the dawn of time?

[1:44] I don't know.

[1:46] I think I saw a magman running around with it.

[1:48] That makes sense.

[1:49] That makes sense.

[1:50] You're probably right.

[1:51] Okay, one more question.

[1:52] What?

[1:54] It's in the center of the earth.

[1:55] That's where the magma men live.

[1:57] I like that.

[1:58] Columbo's famous catchphrase.

[1:59] One more question.

[2:00] What?

[2:03] One more question.

[2:04] Murderers say what?

[2:05] What?

[2:06] Case closed.

[2:07] Take him away.

[2:09] Take him away, boys.

[2:10] Sergeant, we can't use that in court.

[2:12] He's a sergeant?

[2:14] Yeah, Sergeant Columbo.

[2:15] Lieutenant.

[2:16] Oh, he's a lieutenant?

[2:17] Lieutenant Columbo.

[2:18] Oh, I apologize.

[2:19] You busted him down.

[2:21] Yeah, that guy needs to get out of there.

[2:23] Busted makes me feel good.

[2:25] What can I say?

[2:27] So, Dan, what do we do on the Flophouse?

[2:29] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[2:32] And tonight we watched a movie.

[2:34] Did we?

[2:36] I'm still not quite sure that we did.

[2:38] Aloha.

[2:39] Hello.

[2:40] Hello.

[2:41] Hello.

[2:42] Hello.

[2:43] Ahoy.

[2:44] Ahoy, McCoy.

[2:45] Ahoy, McCoy.

[2:47] A popular sea captain.

[2:50] He's the child's character.

[2:52] A popular sea captain.

[2:54] He's the sea captain who's always saying hello to people.

[2:57] Ahoy, McCoy.

[2:58] That's what makes him so popular.

[3:01] He's not a crusty old salt like most sea captains.

[3:04] No, very friendly and open.

[3:06] If anything, a little too open.

[3:07] Yeah, he's a soft, silky salt.

[3:09] He keeps telling me.

[3:10] He's a silky?

[3:11] He keeps asking me if I want to come down to the docks and scrape off some barnacles.

[3:15] And I get creeped out.

[3:17] I think he's talking literally, but I don't know.

[3:20] Nobody knows because no one's ever taken him up on the offer.

[3:23] He's got the most barnacle-encrusted ship on the dock.

[3:26] Some say there's a ship beneath all them barnacles.

[3:29] The weird thing, the dock that his boat is tied up to?

[3:32] Doc Hollywood.

[3:34] No kidding.

[3:35] The first time as a kid that I ever saw an erotic cake.

[3:39] It was Doc Hollywood.

[3:40] Yeah, because they gave him like a – it's like a boob-shaped cake or something because he's a plastic surgeon.

[3:44] Yeah.

[3:45] Is his last name Hollywood?

[3:46] It has to be.

[3:49] And his first name is Doc.

[3:50] He's not a doctor.

[3:52] Yeah, it's like the Dorf.

[3:54] Anyway.

[3:56] The Dorf.

[3:57] Not Dorf.

[3:58] Oh, they said Dorf.

[3:59] Yeah.

[4:00] I probably did.

[4:01] I still don't understand why you said –

[4:02] I don't know if you've noticed this, but I have a habit of mispronouncing things.

[4:04] I don't believe that.

[4:05] Really?

[4:06] Sometimes slightly.

[4:07] Sometimes drastically.

[4:08] Old Ahoy McCloy.

[4:10] So we watched Aloha.

[4:13] Hello.

[4:15] This is what Derail does the first time.

[4:17] It's a movie by Cameron Crowe.

[4:21] Yeah.

[4:22] He of Say Anything.

[4:23] The Crowe.

[4:24] He made The Crowe.

[4:25] Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

[4:27] Yeah.

[4:29] Vanilla Sky.

[4:30] He did We Bought a Zoo.

[4:32] We Bought a Zoo.

[4:33] We Sold a Zoo.

[4:35] Why did we have that zoo anyway?

[4:36] And then the trequel, which is the third movie in the series, which was called – remember when we had that zoo?

[4:41] That was weird.

[4:42] That was weird.

[4:43] He made the movie Rated R.

[4:45] He also made For Hardcore Nudity.

[4:48] He wrote –

[4:51] He made a movie called Say Anything.

[4:53] The Elliot Kaelin Story.

[4:55] Oh, you got me.

[4:57] And he wrote Fast Times at Rigmont Hig.

[5:01] You're almost famous.

[5:04] Almost famous.

[5:05] Almost famouse.

[5:07] About a mouse that went on tour with a rock band.

[5:12] That rock band?

[5:13] Modest mouse.

[5:14] Almost went on tour.

[5:16] He was turned away at the border.

[5:18] Yeah, because he's at the border of what?

[5:20] Castlevania?

[5:21] Yeah, that's right.

[5:23] So Cameron Crowe –

[5:24] The Catskills, come on.

[5:25] Catskills, yeah.

[5:27] So Cameron Crowe has made a lot of movies.

[5:30] Yeah, he's – well, it seemed like he could do no wrong up until a certain point.

[5:34] Elizabeth Town.

[5:35] Yeah, Elizabeth Town was that point.

[5:37] That point was Elizabeth Town.

[5:38] Did he do – I get him mixed up with Richard Linklater sometimes.

[5:42] Yeah.

[5:43] And I start thinking that Cameron Crowe made School of Rock and the Newton Boys.

[5:46] He didn't make those.

[5:47] No.

[5:48] Richard Linklater made those.

[5:49] Yeah.

[5:50] Do you ever think that Cameron Crowe made A Skinner Darkly or Waking Life?

[5:53] Yeah, I do.

[5:54] I do indeed.

[5:55] And sometimes I think he made Slacker.

[5:57] And sometimes I think he made Boyhood.

[6:00] And sometimes I think he made Pi, which is a Darren Aronofsky movie.

[6:04] It's not even a Richard Linklater movie.

[6:07] Is it because they all have really striking uses of popular music?

[6:13] I think that's part of it.

[6:14] I think Richard Linklater and Cameron Crowe also do a certain type of film that I'm going to call character-focused and not necessarily plot-focused.

[6:22] And in this case of Aloha, I think that's how Cameron Crowe went a little too far astray.

[6:27] There's not a lot of plot in this movie, and then suddenly at the end, there's a lot of plot, and the characters are not particularly interesting.

[6:35] But here's something that I'm going to admit up front.

[6:37] Final judgments.

[6:38] I didn't like it.

[6:39] Dan?

[6:40] I'm just going to –

[6:41] Aloha to you too.

[6:43] I'm going to admit up front that contrary to what you may believe, this may shock the average flophouse listener, but we are not –

[6:52] We're a first-time listener.

[6:53] We are not paying full attention to these movies.

[6:56] We pay – here's the thing.

[6:57] I feel like it's up to the movie to grab our attention and engage us, and this movie from the first moments failed to do that.

[7:04] Yeah, but I –

[7:05] The movie didn't take away my phone or Dan's cat that was sitting on my lap.

[7:09] But the reason I bring this up is because I feel like most movies we watch are bad in a way that they're still easy to follow.

[7:17] Sure.

[7:18] Like they're so simple-minded that we can just – we know what's happening because we've seen movies before.

[7:24] This movie –

[7:25] We have.

[7:27] The problem with it is it's so dialogue-driven.

[7:30] It's all just banter, and if you miss some of that banter, you're kind of like, why is – who – why is this happening?

[7:39] Visually, there's not a lot of markers as to what's going on at any point.

[7:42] Yeah.

[7:43] But even dialogue-wise –

[7:44] And the plot doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

[7:45] No, and even dialogue-wise, it's weak.

[7:48] Like they don't explain things when they should.

[7:49] Why don't they just keep describing their personalities to each other over and over?

[7:52] The characters do a lot of exactly explaining their personalities without managing to really explain who they are or what they're doing at the same time.

[7:59] Let's – should we get into the plot while I'm at it?

[8:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[8:02] Let's get into the meat of these potatoes.

[8:05] Because they're what?

[8:06] Jacket potatoes we got in Scotland, and they sort of hollowed them out and filled them with meat?

[8:09] That's right.

[8:10] That sounds delicious.

[8:11] They do that?

[8:12] Oh, you never had – oh, it's great.

[8:13] It's actually fantastic.

[8:14] Okay, let's hurry this up so I can go get some jacket potatoes.

[8:17] You can go to Edinburgh and get some jacket potatoes.

[8:19] Have a scotch egg to wash it down.

[8:21] Is that the same thing?

[8:22] Yeah, it's good stuff.

[8:23] Not really.

[8:24] I mean, it's like an egg encased in sausage encased in fried.

[8:28] That sounds delicious.

[8:29] Yeah, let's wrap this up.

[8:30] Look, I've long said Scotland has maybe the best cuisine of any country.

[8:33] It's all fried meat.

[8:34] You are largely alone in that.

[8:36] The Scots agree with me.

[8:38] That's why they have the highest rate of heart disease in Europe.

[8:40] But anyway, science fact.

[8:42] Sad, really.

[8:43] This movie is about characters, interesting characters like Bradley Cooper.

[8:49] The people of Hawaii.

[8:50] Remember him from Limitless and what, Valentine's Day?

[8:54] And My Little Eye.

[8:55] What is that?

[8:57] That's what most people know.

[8:58] He's in My Little Eye where he plays a creepo.

[9:00] I don't remember that movie.

[9:01] Okay.

[9:02] Yeah.

[9:03] Bradley Cooper from the A-Team.

[9:04] He was in that though.

[9:06] No, it's true.

[9:07] That was a big movie.

[9:08] I'm just saying that, like, I feel like this late day.

[9:11] He went on American Summer or First Day of Class or whatever that show was called.

[9:16] It was on that TV show that he was in.

[9:17] Was there one?

[9:18] Alias.

[9:19] Yeah, Alias.

[9:20] Point him out for like a Silver Linings playbook or something or even like Guardians of the Galaxy.

[9:24] You wouldn't go for some of these.

[9:27] It wasn't Guardians of the Galaxy.

[9:29] He's Rocket Raccoon.

[9:30] He's in the suit, the fursuit.

[9:32] He's in the suit.

[9:33] He's in the CGI fursuit.

[9:35] I forgot that he did the voice for Rocket Raccoon.

[9:38] What about Rocky Raccoon?

[9:39] Did he do that voice or is that Paul McCartney?

[9:41] He probably could, man.

[9:42] He's a renaissance man.

[9:43] He is a renaissance raccoon.

[9:45] He's a raccoon-naissance man just like Leonardo de Rodin.

[9:48] Time roll through with renaissance.

[9:50] Yeah, and they were like, you're a raccoon?

[9:52] What?

[9:53] We don't even know what raccoons are.

[9:54] That's a new world animal.

[9:55] We haven't discovered you yet.

[9:56] And he was like, yes, you have.

[9:57] That was 1492, dudes.

[10:00] my sketchbooks filled with uh... drawings of my elaborate bone structure

[10:05] and it was such a change that will work

[10:08] yet take that leonardo da vinci had dummy

[10:11] good job dummy with your flying machines that's not how it works

[10:16] what you're talking to figure out the bernoulli principle may be a good close

[10:20] to you

[10:21] dumbass when did he is that i think you know

[10:23] now i'm just now i'm saying that if you did you know

[10:26] okay yet if i could study the structure of birds wings that would be a jackass

[10:33] what do you know how about them

[10:36] there's no doubt that i got a lot of holding back

[10:38] yet literally i got a lot i want a clearly i don't know just go home

[10:43] leaders of the listeners can see this will be ready to use in the core right

[10:46] now but i could be white but i do what's the problem with the uh... that i

[10:50] thought we were about that's why i come about a year you're a part of the

[10:54] you go the fuck away and i'm not making my award-winning a pizza for you

[10:58] no please make that and leave it here

[11:01] it's called the true the implies

[11:06] all right but but i thought i'd better than that a song you know that i'm a

[11:10] renaissance man

[11:12] a i think it'll

[11:14] you can make a painting for your real life that's the latest smile a little

[11:18] bit you not know why

[11:21] so that's how you know that is that that's how he sold them a little bit

[11:24] that's right

[11:25] michael andrews i don't think i'll tell you what this is the only look at two

[11:28] blank and i'm going to be a guy is one with a beard one no beard no clothes

[11:33] michael angelo we just want to blue like a sky blue ceiling use that

[11:37] okay you're gonna like a blue a little blue in it

[11:40] but a lot of the things and that's a good boss

[11:42] i illustrate a bunch of other things for you that that that that that uh...

[11:46] leonardo says he invented that song i invented that song in michael angel are

[11:50] you the guy who may that's that you know i was a bit of a lot of

[11:54] it that

[11:56] it was called the castle of reading the statue

[11:59] yeah anyway do it so i got a little part of a lot of a lot of you know

[12:04] that that that uh... one of the one of the michelangelo ninjas personality was

[12:08] based on michelangelo the artist

[12:10] to me that this is the chapel

[12:12] i don't know what you are

[12:14] because that's a good restaurant anyway

[12:16] so he painted that whole ceiling using non-chocolate

[12:20] uh...

[12:21] so

[12:22] bradley cooper

[12:23] he is with used to be at the military

[12:26] now he's a contractor

[12:28] for a billionaire played by bill murray

[12:31] he is has been sent to hawaii

[12:34] where he is don't where he was before he knows people there yeah in fact is old

[12:39] flame rachel mcadams was now married to john presents the plane a part of

[12:44] the air force pilot not from toy story not what he from toy story is a

[12:47] different woody it's not what he from cheers

[12:49] it's not what he like woodrow wilson being called that by his friends and

[12:53] it's just a different kind of what he and he's like that he got into it like

[12:56] a it's a real alluded to you got into some bad shit in afghanistan many talks

[13:01] about it later on

[13:02] yeah but like i was about a front that he he got injured he got injured yet

[13:06] there's a voiceover explains how he got injured in the leg

[13:08] this injury doesn't really seem to slow down any kind of forgets about it for

[13:11] most of the movie

[13:12] yeah but also like it seems like what happened to him i mean i probably miss

[13:16] something so i don't want to talk to you with too much authority but it just

[13:19] seems like the bad thing that happened to him was just that like a bomb went

[13:23] off and he got a little bit also and his any lost the love of his life rachel

[13:26] mcadams also his life feels seems like even though he has a it was also tied in

[13:30] with him being like what morally questionable because he was skimming

[13:34] money off the top of his employer yes i don't remember if we find out the

[13:37] beginning but later on yeah that's about how he was stealing money from

[13:41] that'd be tough for you to be on the front and have sympathy for a million

[13:45] he's got all these babes on his hands

[13:47] I get we have to but I kind of it's all the last two hands

[13:51] yeah yeah he has a tiny baby is a rare disorder where sexy babes are going out

[13:57] of his hands like a tiny ballerina from eraser head they just live on his hands

[14:01] I guess you could call her a ballerina

[14:03] I'd call her like a radiator fairy

[14:05] yeah she's

[14:07] she's an entertainer

[14:09] look in heaven everything is fine

[14:11] that's right

[14:13] everything is great

[14:15] everything is fine because you got your good things and I've got mine

[14:17] it's a haunting song

[14:19] anyway that's a better movie can we talk about eraser head

[14:21] sure

[14:23] in some ways a more romantic and affecting movie

[14:25] you know david lynch never did tell us

[14:27] how he did that baby effect

[14:29] oh he mutilated a baby

[14:31] yeah yeah

[14:33] that baby grew up to be

[14:35] bradley cooper

[14:37] which brings us to aloha

[14:39] hello

[14:41] so he's

[14:43] he's returned

[14:45] I'll bring it back

[14:47] just make sure it's got a full tank

[14:49] when you bring it back

[14:51] yuck's juice

[14:53] he has come back to hawaii

[14:55] how come they haven't marketed a kids drink called yuck's juice

[14:58] you gotta take that idea and run with it

[15:00] all the way to the garbage can

[15:02] throw it in there

[15:04] yeah that's what the package is called

[15:06] the garbage can

[15:08] the package that you get yuck's juice out of

[15:10] it's shaped like a garbage can

[15:12] that you stick a straw in through the top

[15:14] and then the stuff leaks out the bottom

[15:16] oh like real garbage

[15:18] okay

[15:20] so bradley cooper is there

[15:22] and then the kid has to slurp it up off the floor

[15:24] or off their hands

[15:26] or off their hands

[15:28] terrible

[15:30] so bill murray is

[15:32] he's a billionaire who is launching

[15:34] wants to launch a satellite to space

[15:36] a private satellite from a hawaiian air force base

[15:38] i think it's

[15:40] or maybe it's in the water

[15:42] and he's building a pathway

[15:44] between two

[15:46] or a gate between two bases

[15:48] and bradley cooper's whole job

[15:50] is to be there to facilitate

[15:52] getting real hawaiians to do

[15:54] a religious ceremony

[15:56] to bless this gateway

[15:58] because it seems like there's

[16:00] maybe some ancestral

[16:02] burial ground

[16:04] bones that have to be moved

[16:06] they have to be relocated

[16:08] so they can build their stargate

[16:10] is that what that's made out of

[16:12] bones?

[16:14] no but they're building literally a gate

[16:16] it's not a stargate

[16:18] they're talking about building a gate and then they shoot something into space

[16:20] but not through the gate

[16:22] you can still call it that though

[16:24] if you can call something a stargate

[16:26] why wouldn't you call it a stargate

[16:28] if you go into madrid

[16:30] there's a place called the puerta del sol

[16:32] that's true

[16:34] and the sun is not literally coming through that door

[16:36] you don't travel through a magical portal

[16:38] and get to the sun but you can call it that if you want

[16:40] i will say that

[16:42] they should need a stargate

[16:44] because like 2001's monolith

[16:46] my god this movie is full of stars

[16:48] bradley cooper, emma stone

[16:50] rachel mcadams

[16:52] john krasinski

[16:54] danny mcbride

[16:56] bill murray

[16:58] probably the ghost of mickey rooney

[17:00] is somewhere around there

[17:02] who wouldn't want to spend

[17:04] eternity in hawaii

[17:06] because that's what this movie feels like

[17:08] the most wasted cast i've seen in a film

[17:10] well i don't know

[17:12] what about a movie where they're on drugs

[17:14] a lot of the time

[17:16] that'd be a pretty wasted cast

[17:18] like the last movie or something like that

[17:20] yeah like dennis hopper's the last movie

[17:22] but yeah

[17:24] this is a movie where you're like

[17:26] oh i like that person

[17:28] that's not gonna help me

[17:30] that's not gonna help me enjoy this movie

[17:32] you're hoping that their charm will just carry you through

[17:34] it works for a very short period of time

[17:36] i would say that this movie

[17:38] is roughly similar to

[17:40] bobbing in the ocean with no land around you

[17:42] on which to gain purchase

[17:44] and every now and then a driftwood

[17:46] a piece of driftwood in the form of like an emma stone

[17:48] or a bill murray floats by

[17:50] and you can kind of like briefly scramble onto it

[17:52] to catch your breath

[17:54] and then it slips out from under you and you fall into the sea again

[17:56] and you're just treading water trying to figure out

[17:58] what the hell is going on in this movie

[18:00] so radley cooper's there to arrange this religious ceremony

[18:02] he sees his ex rachel mcadams

[18:04] who's married to woody

[18:06] and she's still banging

[18:08] and the i guess military liaison that's attached to him

[18:10] to kind of guide him through is emma stone

[18:12] who mentions many times that she is a quarter

[18:14] hawaiian and a quarter chinese

[18:16] and it's something that

[18:18] and 100% caucasian

[18:20] i mean in real life

[18:22] yeah

[18:24] she even at one point she mentions

[18:26] that she's a quarter hawaiian quarter chinese

[18:28] and half swedish or swiss

[18:30] and even that kind of implies like

[18:32] but of course the superior genes

[18:34] won out and i look blonde and white

[18:36] there's a very there's like

[18:38] there was a lot

[18:40] of negative publicity when the movie came out

[18:42] about casting a clearly caucasian actress

[18:44] to be a half

[18:46] asian hawaiian character

[18:48] and i found that

[18:50] it bothered me in that

[18:52] the fact that she doesn't look

[18:54] hawaiian or asian

[18:56] should be more of her character

[18:58] than it is

[19:00] like she seems to be pretty much at

[19:02] peace with how she

[19:04] looks and another thing that's weird is that

[19:06] she's presented on the first scene

[19:08] as the kind of like all business

[19:10] military discipline

[19:12] like this is the person who's no nonsense

[19:14] and then every other scene after that

[19:16] she's like super chill

[19:18] just wants to kick back

[19:20] like it's like the movie

[19:22] it's like in between shooting scenes

[19:24] she and cameron crowe talked about the character

[19:26] and changed their conception of it

[19:28] but didn't do anything to address that

[19:30] now can i say a little

[19:32] something about

[19:34] is he going to get us in trouble

[19:36] yes

[19:38] and you don't care who knows it

[19:40] men and women relationships in his movies

[19:42] because i believe

[19:44] that it was after

[19:46] elizabethtown i may be wrong

[19:48] that nathan raven our friend nathan raven

[19:50] coined the phrase

[19:52] man it takes you to dreamgirl

[19:54] was it elizabethtown or was it

[19:56] maybe it was elizabethtown

[19:58] maybe it was elizabethtown

[20:00] And the thing about the classic manic pixie dream girl is that they have just look it up, but they've got no lazy

[20:07] We're not gonna do that. I'm not even gonna edit this if I find out I'm wrong

[20:11] But the thing about the classic manic pixie dream girl is she does not have any inner life of her own

[20:17] She's there to help the male protagonist like self-actualized like Virgil to his Dante

[20:24] Yeah, just a class up this shit

[20:26] Yeah, and like that was totally true in Elizabethtown like she's like

[20:30] Oh, this is a crazy like lady's coming in and she's gonna fix this broken guy. And it's also

[20:36] Garden State it could be Garden State. Oh

[20:40] I'm in Garden State. Otherwise known as yeah, Elizabethtown mark one. No, thank you. Yeah

[20:47] No, thank you. Leonardo da Vinci come back in

[20:50] Also known as yeah, Elizabethtown directed by Zach Braff, yeah, but um, except guards they came first

[20:56] Yeah, but so this this also first and the movie he shot was Garden State this all shot shot first Han shot

[21:02] Hi shots part first

[21:04] That would have been a great title

[21:07] considering

[21:08] So this is centering the direction the series

[21:12] In that they added a part do this is definitely in that vein and that we like Bradley Cooper is introduced to us

[21:18] Like the movie just like basically tells us. This is a broken man. It doesn't really never seems broke

[21:23] I mean tells us says he is. Yeah, he tells him there's a scene where she's like, you're so cynical and then she earlier

[21:29] She's talking about him to somebody else me over. Here's me like he's like this wounded guy

[21:33] So it was such a wreck and you're like I have not seen that in him like the second scene in the movie is

[21:39] Her reporting to somebody and he's listening in and she's basically just describing his character and it's like what?

[21:46] But he's like it'll be like to be like he's so sexily broken

[21:50] Yeah, the brokenness in it is something I've got six. Yeah with my vagina

[21:55] And her I don't know zest for life. Yeah

[22:00] Clean

[22:01] But but I mean like this is just like this is and here's the thing Bradley Cooper can play broken characters

[22:08] Silverlinings playbook. He does a very good job. Yeah, but he does not I feel like both of the characters have a little more going on

[22:15] I wish I had a cane

[22:17] Yeah, I mean he should have the cane my cane that like

[22:21] You know

[22:23] You know

[22:25] Would you please not lean on me so much?

[22:28] I'm here for you

[22:29] But it's it's hard to buy you as a character with real problems when you don't seem to have any if you could just even like

[22:35] Grimace every now and then you know, hey guys, it's me Bradley Cooper Michael King. Why won't you let me lean on you, buddy?

[22:43] That's right

[22:44] Perfect. Are you still doing my cocaine? I don't know anymore. Oh, you're my favorite. I love billion-dollar brain

[22:50] I just wanted to I wanted to get back to my original point because I actually have like I

[22:54] Think I'm ran out like not an interesting point about okay. Let's do it. Let's not be silly for a moment, which is like

[23:01] This sorry. Sorry. Okay this moment, but like this character Emma Stone plays doesn't have like really much agency herself as charming as she is

[23:08] She's just there to like fix the main character and Cameron Crowe has done more interesting love stories in the past

[23:14] Sure

[23:15] I think that

[23:17] Jerry McGuire works better than this the story of a super successful agent who continues to be successful and then gets a girl

[23:23] Yeah, somebody shows him the money

[23:26] To some degree like that's still a woman there who's there to fix a broken man

[23:32] But it was also not particularly broken, but he but Tom Cruise is better in that one at expressing that he's unhappy at least

[23:38] Yeah, and and that movie works a little better because we spend a little more time with Rene Zellweger

[23:42] So we get a little bit of an idea of who she might be as a person

[23:45] Otherwise and say anything you could argue that that's like about a manic pixie dream guy

[23:50] Yeah

[23:50] Who like comes in name John Mahoney and that's that makes it at least a little interesting because it's flipped and I would say that

[23:58] The interesting thing about vanilla sky a movie that a lot of people don't like I actually kind of a lot of affection for it

[24:04] but I think that what's interesting about that movie is it's kind of an indictment of this sort of movie because

[24:10] Tom Cruise in that movie

[24:12] really like looks at women as

[24:16] something that are going to fix him or as like something external to him some like object that he can like possess and

[24:23] the whole

[24:24] Fantasy that he goes through in the like the science fiction fantasy that he goes through in that movie is his brain

[24:29] constructing a reality where this woman does come and fix him and then

[24:33] Reality is a total rejection of that. Well, mm-hmm

[24:36] So I think that Cameron Crowe like has the capability to learn critique himself, but he doesn't do it in this movie at all

[24:44] That's all I wanted to say about that

[24:47] Regular scheduled goofs. No, do you think he like he had an idea and he lost his way

[24:52] Do you like budget or pressure or whatever or do you think he was just like I want to go on vacation in Hawaii?

[24:59] You saw the Adam Sandler method, yes, I think he probably

[25:03] Wanted to do a movie in that setting. There's a lot in it where characters talk about

[25:08] Hawaiian myths or there's a scene where they go to a place that actual native Hawaiians live and

[25:15] briefly talk about how Hawaii is it feels like

[25:18] Dad just comes back from his first trip to New Orleans and is like I can't wait to tell you all about jazz that I'm super

[25:24] into like my dad has taken a couple trips to

[25:28] To China and Singapore now as part of his work and he comes back and like wants to tell me all about

[25:33] There's these amazing things. He's learned about those countries, which is great

[25:36] But it would be really irritating if he then made a movie telling me all about it as if he's

[25:43] I'd be really impressed if your dad made a movie just just if he could secure the financing I'd be impressed

[25:49] It's not a cheap thing to do

[25:51] backers like

[25:53] Well, what's this movie about? Mr. Camp? Well, I just want to teach my son

[25:57] So I went to this really neat temple in Singapore and I want to tell him all about the statues that were in there

[26:02] So I'm gonna make a movie. I've already got to the statues come to life. No, but they represent different gods

[26:10] It is daytime not at a museum but at a temple, but I did go to a museum and I do want to tell him

[26:15] About that too. So I guess you know what? We'll make that part of it. Also anyway, so

[26:20] Zach Efron is already attached to star as the dad as this. Yeah, it's we're gonna have to put some old-age makeup

[26:27] Maybe a mustache who's playing the stag perfect. The statues are gonna be played by all the original bangles. Oh, wow

[26:32] And Cincinnati Bengals the original since they bang even boomer is I said the first one

[26:40] And one Bengal tiger because there's more than one statue and one of the statues but he's still wearing football pads

[26:45] Oh, yeah. Well, he's actually gonna be played by Tony the Tiger in like a football themed. Oh, he's

[26:50] He's actually don't believe the hype. He says that about himself, but he is actually just good

[26:57] This is not Oscar material, but he gets the job done

[27:03] Yeah, so there's a little sake cuz I'm okay, I'm gonna give you the shortest possible

[27:09] Description of Aloha sure a guy walks in to a bar. Mm-hmm. He does it one point

[27:15] He's here for this kind of small-scale thing

[27:17] He manages to get it by making a deal with some Hawaiian people who we almost never see against about the movie

[27:24] He falls in love with Emma Stone. She falls in love with him

[27:26] There's some tension between him and Rachel McAdams who he used to go out with and who was ready to marry him

[27:32] But the relationship fell apart

[27:33] It turns out her daughter is actually his daughter and not Woody's daughter

[27:37] Well, and this causes trouble between Rachel McAdams and John Krasinski who are married

[27:42] Their son is convinced that Bradley Cooper is Lono and attack a Hawaiian

[27:47] Oboe deity not Lobo the desire and not Lobo the hundred bullets character

[27:53] Oh, no, not lone Lano the hundred bullets character

[27:55] But uh, he is alone and the name Lono sounds like loan alone. So I guess that's it and

[28:01] Emma Stone him fall in love

[28:03] He reveals that he has two toes on one toe. It's so gross or a mishap in Afghanistan

[28:09] And he invented some kind of space sound pulse thing that comes up later

[28:14] It turns that they just do that gate ritual great

[28:18] Way from the X-Men show somehow. Yeah

[28:21] Yeah, I just swing it around a

[28:24] What are those called like bolos? Yeah, sure. It's not actually gateway from the X-Men

[28:31] Then there's they're gonna launch this ship, which has a private satellite owned by Billy Bill buzzards a Billy Crystal Bill Murray

[28:38] It's owned by Billy Crystal's a satellite dedicated to broadcasting nothing but Mickey Mantle Yankees games. That's right. They're gonna launch the satellite

[28:47] But because Rachel McAdams son managed to videotape a top-secret classified cargo

[28:55] They find out there's also a nuke payload. That's gonna be on that satellite

[28:58] Yeah, this is an unexpected development and what seemed to be a low-key character study slash romance

[29:04] I would love to watch a low-key character study. There's just Tom Hiddleston just gonna like or Huddleston

[29:09] Just don't worry about it walking around being low-key like it is every day like rip his head off

[29:14] Loki's had he needs that not really. He's a daddy's an Asgardian God. It'll just be a talking head. Mm-hmm, like David Byrne

[29:21] now Dan's interested

[29:25] Making so much sense Elliot. I wish I could make any sense, but it's the Aloha screenplay. It's about to make even less sense

[29:31] There's a Chinese hacker that's trying to get into the system Bradley Cooper, I guess is also a computer genius

[29:36] So he defeats that hacker and then he explodes the the satellite using the power of sound

[29:42] He see the satellite lamp launches and he sees that Emma Stone is is sad and he promised the Hawaiians that there'd be no weapons

[29:49] On that satellite and so he uses a sonic pulse

[29:52] Made up of sound effects from other Bill Murray movies among other things to blow up the satellite it may be the worst special effects

[29:59] I've seen

[30:00] you know major hollywood film in the years

[30:03] these are some sci-fi channel originally saw that in i'm x how upset you've been

[30:08] away well i'd be like wise aloha and i'm actually doesn't even then it really

[30:12] helps corn in all directions i don't think it was like emma stone's face is

[30:17] enormous

[30:18] uh... yeah it was a little like a collage of noises that included as you

[30:22] say uh... the theme from stripes

[30:25] or

[30:26] there was uh... of brief snippet of star mandatory policing and i don't know

[30:31] there's uh... coffee commercial yeah uh...

[30:34] and i feel like

[30:35] i don't know cameron crowe's the sort of person

[30:39] like this means something

[30:40] you know what does mean something to him with the idea that he's using

[30:44] pop culture to blow up this nuke

[30:46] uh... i guess so

[30:48] i mean i complain to you guys were watching it's like something out of a

[30:50] macross

[30:51] it

[30:53] regular macrosses

[30:55] one of the neongenesis evangelions going on here

[30:58] the uh...

[31:00] macrosses are using music as weapons yeah and there's like a

[31:03] like a pop star uh... robo construct that is fighting against the flying

[31:08] robot ships yeah

[31:10] sounds good anyway so

[31:11] i was mentioning to you guys that

[31:13] there's something i get this a little bit

[31:15] in wes anderson movies

[31:17] and a little bit richard lincoln and cameron crowe movies where

[31:20] when a song starts playing the soundtrack i can feel a little too

[31:23] heavily the hand of the director

[31:25] going through his record collection looking for the right song

[31:28] and in this movie was particularly

[31:31] onerous to me usually is about me that much you didn't mention tarantino

[31:34] tarantino i feel that too but in that case in that case unlike wes anderson

[31:38] others

[31:38] i feel like

[31:39] they usually do manage to get the right match between song and scene

[31:43] so it's like

[31:44] okay i'm feeling their hand in this but

[31:47] those two guys are also much more interesting visual

[31:51] yes and often the often the visuals in the music counterpoint each other in

[31:55] some way

[31:56] in this one

[31:57] there was a lot more of like and especially of like

[31:59] while listening to cameron crowe's record collection right now

[32:02] and in that scene it felt like

[32:04] he may have put more time and effort into putting that sound collage together

[32:08] than the rest of the movie yeah

[32:10] bradley cooper blows it up yeah it all goes to tell them a stone you've got to

[32:14] go to career like we should be together

[32:16] and she said she uh... and she doesn't know she can keep the straw hat that he

[32:20] bought her earlier in the movie in the

[32:22] probably the best sequence of that because he puts on a hat that covers

[32:26] your whole head

[32:27] uh... like she she's one of those uh...

[32:29] feudal japanese monks who's trying to create a uh...

[32:32] a distance between them in the rest of the world is a moment it's a moment

[32:35] more like

[32:36] movement what's his face from

[32:38] from that our project record canada was announced

[32:41] yeah my spouse and i was a weird harold or donalds and probably was a crazy

[32:46] dollar strange harolder we're they're all characters made by a resume anyway

[32:50] so it's more like more from the zoo could you

[32:53] uh... which was that that's the one with the uh... the

[32:56] turtleneck that goes up and i was in the joe

[32:59] numbers of the jones not have turtleneck numbers in the jones is the

[33:03] most normal in one of the body was the one like i thought he was a little like

[33:06] a black eye all the time that i patch

[33:09] you know that i don't want to know if you don't know what he's done i don't

[33:12] know compared to the guy who's got a fucking just because there was a

[33:15] national place in the pilot every i don't think it was a pirate is this is

[33:19] because it is more normal to get with the magnum turtleneck let's try not to

[33:23] draw attention to his disability

[33:25] that he has and i don't know he's always back for the novel

[33:28] haha

[33:30] when you talk about your constantly saying things that shocked me so much

[33:33] that i have to put back

[33:34] you just your feet and a little bit of little puff of dust

[33:38] that you're talking about this is a very shocking things that we put back

[33:41] with so much

[33:42] and my neck with thank you because i have a lot of so many injuries and so

[33:47] much to do a lot of stuff i believe that we're backwards out to a spike

[33:52] uh...

[33:53] utah it's would be surprised if i didn't know who joe was just somebody who took

[33:56] years to figure out

[33:57] which one was funky weaker being it's not the guy with the glasses

[34:01] the funniest one none of them are funky if anything he's the least funky one

[34:05] and don't even start me about how much how little of a weaker being here is

[34:09] that's the one that's always on the most weaker

[34:11] that was that that's the kind of stripper band teachers right now it's

[34:14] not going to put up on their it's doorway it's the construct that is

[34:18] either jokes about band class

[34:20] or characters being told they have cancer

[34:22] and then dealing with it there's like one crazy funky winger bean where it's

[34:26] just a single panel of like a funky winger bean

[34:29] of a character like standing in the doorway and then in the

[34:33] foreground you have a like a character like a dead from an overdose of pills

[34:38] yeah

[34:40] not my sunday funny sir yeah i want to be a really nice to you and roses rose

[34:45] this is not funky at all

[34:48] re-funk this up

[34:50] uh... so they blow up the satellite and they kind of break up

[34:53] uh...

[34:55] uh... bradley hooper finds out that rachel mcadams and and woody are

[34:58] splitting apart but now they get back together

[35:00] uh... woody and

[35:02] but then they've been put together it's made official that

[35:04] bradley cooper is the daughter's father

[35:07] uh... he gets back with emma stone

[35:09] he's told by the military were first mad at him for blowing up the satellite

[35:12] that it's true they found that there was some going to be a new payload on it

[35:16] so it's going to all be kept hush-hush but he's in the clear and they're

[35:19] arresting bill marie's arrested while standing on a beach

[35:22] uh... and

[35:23] it's back together with emma stone and says hey when you come back from your

[35:27] tour duty

[35:28] i'm gonna be here

[35:30] and he also and then in a curious final scene which we're talking about

[35:33] could have been

[35:35] very emotionally affecting in a different movie

[35:37] he kind of he finds his the woman he now knows, the girl he now knows is his daughter

[35:42] at hula class because it's hawaii

[35:45] and kind of silently expresses to her that she is his daughter

[35:49] and she cries and runs out and hugs him and goes back to class

[35:52] and it's like it's a very sort of touching moment in a movie that's not very good

[35:56] it's the scene it's similar to anyone who listened to our golden child episode

[35:59] if you did i apologize for the audio quality

[36:02] the scene between the monk and his daughter

[36:05] where they're kind of like

[36:07] talking about how they like Eddie Murphy despite his faults and he gives his

[36:10] blessing to their relationship

[36:12] this was like that a much better

[36:14] kind of subtler scene in a movie that doesn't really deserve it

[36:18] it's a scene in a movie where almost every

[36:22] other scene has characters

[36:24] basically explaining who they are or explaining what they think the other

[36:29] person is

[36:30] constantly and so there's they take anything that would be subtext and they

[36:33] make it text

[36:35] so it makes this scene seem out of place at this point yeah now for a

[36:39] movie that has two love triangles

[36:41] bill murray

[36:43] alec baldwin

[36:44] the military

[36:45] one of the characters is a fighter pilot

[36:47] and a subplot about a satellite that's going to have a nuke on it

[36:51] this is nothing really happens in this movie like very little happens and

[36:54] there's at least one scene with danny mcbride and a baby named don that was

[36:58] very charming yeah that part was kind of nice

[37:01] but like there's otherwise there's like

[37:03] there's not only it feels like uh...

[37:07] you're watching the first draft of a script where he's like i want to write a

[37:11] movie set in hawaii

[37:12] maybe i'll deal with the military

[37:14] uh... i'll just throw some ideas out there weird overtones of like the you

[37:18] know

[37:19] i'll bring in stuff about uh... religion like the indigenous yeah religion

[37:24] somehow and then he wrote one draft of it and then like rick van winkle

[37:27] cameron crowe fell into a slumber for months and when he woke up

[37:31] that it was shooting is the first day of shooting is like i guess we're doing the

[37:35] first draft uh...

[37:37] uh... yeah we should uh... move on to politics of the movie whether it's a

[37:40] good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie we kind of like

[37:44] uh... i'll say

[37:45] this is a bad bad movie

[37:47] i will say this for

[37:49] despite being a bad bad movie i could imagine a scenario

[37:52] in which you're hungover

[37:54] on the couch

[37:55] you turn on aloha

[37:57] you might find it very comforting yeah i mean it's a movie that you could easily

[38:01] pass in and out of sleep while watching it and it would not detract from the

[38:05] effect of watching so that's my recommended way of watching it

[38:08] get drunk

[38:09] the night before you're gonna watch aloha yeah

[38:11] a lot of preparation yeah well i mean it's aloha you gotta make the day

[38:15] for it throw on some

[38:17] some stretchy pants

[38:18] oh the stretchiest because you're mister fantastic shuffle into the other room

[38:22] yeah you can be baby blessed

[38:24] find an old slice of pizza

[38:27] wander back to the couch

[38:29] just turn on whatever channel's on

[38:32] it happens to be aloha

[38:34] then you know what

[38:35] close your eyes put a pillow under your head and have a well-earned nap yeah

[38:38] to the soothing sounds of aloha you do you you did it

[38:42] while blondie's in the other room making you a giant ass sandwich

[38:48] debbie harry

[38:51] uh...

[38:52] yeah the

[38:54] it's it's funny because

[38:55] this this isn't a very good movie but there are like

[38:59] there are definitely scenes where you're reminded like oh cameron crowe knows how

[39:03] to make something at least somewhat charming

[39:05] or the actors are charming like there's moments where you're like i could see

[39:09] how this would be enjoyable this could have been a good movie it does not earn

[39:12] the streaming to the very streaming services tagline for this movie which is

[39:17] say hello to your new favorite movie

[39:20] i mean that's

[39:21] if the only person who would possibly say hello to it in that way

[39:24] would be

[39:26] what like someone who'd never seen a movie before and they're just like that's

[39:29] amazing

[39:30] this is my first one the first of uh... first and only

[39:34] i can't i can't believe this technology exists cameron crowe you're a genius

[39:37] because he thinks he invented it

[39:40] so elliot what do you think

[39:42] movie i kind of liked it no i think it's a i think it's a bad man movie but it's

[39:46] like

[39:47] this

[39:48] plot even

[39:49] and except for the satellite stuff this plot and these characters and this setting

[39:53] could have been a good movie

[39:55] there's the potential there but it's not a good movie

[39:58] but i could see a movie

[40:00] that involves the relationship between people in the military and other people

[40:05] who used to be in the military and those people and the natives and inhabitants

[40:09] of Hawaiians who feel like they've lost something and they're living under the

[40:17] control of another force, you know, of the American government that they initially

[40:22] choose to be a part of.

[40:23] I mean, it feels like, as you said, it feels like a first draft because every

[40:26] character could use a little bit more of a tweak.

[40:28] And they could put a little more effort into playing up, like, the location.

[40:34] It feels like the location is there for when they need to inject, like, a myth

[40:40] or something like that.

[40:41] Or set dressing, putting leis on everybody.

[40:43] People always wearing leis.

[40:44] There's a lot of pineapples in the background.

[40:46] A lot of Elvis in Hawaii type music.

[40:49] A lot of Hawaiian music, a lot of ukulele.

[40:51] And let me just say this.

[40:52] When it comes to music, I am not the most accepting person.

[40:57] There's a lot of music I don't like.

[40:58] Hawaiian music is pretty high up there on the list of music I don't like.

[41:03] It's just a little too mellow for me.

[41:05] It's all about laying back.

[41:07] There's a reason that there's no, like, Hawaiian metal that I know of.

[41:12] Well, you're like a real Bradley Cooper type character then.

[41:15] Oh, yeah.

[41:17] But even he seems to like all the music.

[41:18] Oh, yeah.

[41:19] That's the other thing is it's one of those movies where everyone falls under the

[41:22] spell of a place, but you don't feel that spell.

[41:25] You know, what is this, Treme?

[41:27] Yeah, it's like exactly like Treme.

[41:29] Everyone's like, Nolans, jazz, nothing better.

[41:32] And you're watching it and you're like, this is boring.

[41:36] Man, I'm sorry I'm harping on New Orleans today.

[41:38] Yeah, they've been through enough.

[41:40] The city suffered so much.

[41:55] Balls to name your business.

[41:57] Mom's buns.

[41:57] I don't even feel 100% comfortable saying that out loud.

[42:00] Mom's buns.

[42:02] Although mom's buns look great.

[42:05] I got to say.

[42:08] Welcome to Oh No, Ross and Carrie Ross.

[42:10] Hi, Carrie.

[42:11] What do you think is creepier?

[42:12] OK, you jump into a swimming pool.

[42:15] All of a sudden the water goes away.

[42:17] And instead of water, there is the bones of your dead ancestors or our show.

[42:24] That's pretty tough because we visited a live exorcism.

[42:27] We joined the Ordo Templi Orientis, where we had to worship a naked lady.

[42:31] Oh, and we joined that Tony Olamo cult.

[42:33] They were scary.

[42:34] Super creepy.

[42:35] We joined the Ethereal Society.

[42:36] We tried penis enlargement, or at least I did.

[42:38] Boy, I tried breast enlargement.

[42:40] We have basically done every creepy, weird fringe thing, except for thousands more,

[42:46] which we will get to if you listen to our show.

[42:48] I'd still say the swimming pool of my ancestors' bones.

[42:50] Well, I don't even know if people should listen.

[42:52] I guess they shouldn't.

[42:53] But if you want to, we're at Maximum Fun.

[42:56] And the show's called Ono, Ross, and Carrie.

[43:02] Before we move on, I just want to thank everyone who came out to our live shows.

[43:07] And came out at our live shows.

[43:09] Sold out live shows.

[43:10] It was great to see people in person afterwards, hanging out at the bar.

[43:15] Putting up with us.

[43:16] Commonwealth, thank you to everyone who stopped by and said hi.

[43:21] We had two great sold out audiences.

[43:23] Everyone was super pumped and super hyped up.

[43:25] And I think I heard somewhere that audiences in New York are the best.

[43:31] Oh, wait, no, I shouldn't say that now.

[43:33] Because no, we might go somewhere else someday.

[43:35] I want to thank some of the folks that helped us.

[43:39] I want to thank Matt Carman in the booth.

[43:41] I want to thank Jesus in the booth.

[43:43] That was his name.

[43:43] Jesus, I'm not.

[43:45] What was his last name, Dan?

[43:46] I don't know.

[43:47] I mean, I don't either.

[43:49] All the people at the bell house.

[43:50] I want to thank everyone at the bell house.

[43:51] I want to thank Wendy Mays, who contributed some equipment and her.

[43:57] Recording equipment.

[43:58] Yeah, her podcast is called Pet Cinematary.

[44:02] If you want to check that out.

[44:04] I want to thank Ray and Steven for letting us use their house to watch movies.

[44:10] And they took good care of us.

[44:12] Yeah, I may have forgotten anyone.

[44:14] And if I do, I have.

[44:15] I apologize.

[44:17] But just thank everyone for making the shows such a delight.

[44:21] Thank you, Dan.

[44:22] Hey, thank you guys.

[44:23] Thank you, Stuart and Dan.

[44:25] You're welcome.

[44:26] Aloha.

[44:28] Hello.

[44:28] Goodbye.

[44:30] I want to just take a moment to give a birthday shout out.

[44:34] This was not brought up at the meeting.

[44:37] This was requested.

[44:38] I had a request to give a birthday shout out to quote,

[44:41] Ultimate Gin, who had a birthday on one of the days of the live shows.

[44:45] But she could not make it.

[44:47] So happy birthday to her.

[44:50] I feel bad for Penultimate Gin.

[44:52] Yeah.

[44:53] Yeah.

[44:54] Always knowing that she's going to be.

[44:55] Couldn't make the cut.

[44:56] Yeah.

[44:56] Living in the shadow.

[44:57] Yeah.

[44:58] But also, I just want to take a moment to say, hey,

[45:03] if you haven't checked out MaximumFun.org,

[45:07] go over there and check out our podcast network.

[45:10] Yeah.

[45:11] Check out the family.

[45:12] It's not just a network, Dan.

[45:13] It's a family that doesn't talk very much.

[45:15] When you're here, you're family.

[45:18] Yeah.

[45:18] And here is Maximum Fun.

[45:20] Yeah.

[45:20] I don't think anyone else uses that slogan.

[45:23] No other place claims that when you're there, you're family.

[45:25] Spend some time with some baby geniuses, some popped rockets.

[45:29] Yeah.

[45:29] Some ladies to ladies.

[45:30] Throw some shade.

[45:32] Yeah.

[45:33] Jordan, Jesse, and Go.

[45:36] Jordan, Jesse play the ancient game of Go every episode.

[45:40] Sounds fascinating.

[45:41] Oh, you learn a lot.

[45:42] It's the kind of stuff my dad tells me.

[45:46] But now let's move along to letters from listeners.

[45:50] You wrote them.

[45:51] We read them.

[45:52] That's the way it works.

[45:54] That's the way it works, Dan says.

[45:59] You wrote them.

[46:00] We read them.

[46:04] How does it work?

[46:05] Glad that you asked.

[46:07] As Dan said, I'll refer you to his comments that you write them.

[46:12] And then we read them.

[46:14] That's how it works.

[46:15] That's how it, that's how it works.

[46:18] That's how it, that's how it works.

[46:20] Back up.

[46:22] Well, if you guys picked up the slack, I wouldn't need it.

[46:41] Thank you.

[46:42] Letters is taped before a live studio audience of one cat.

[46:46] So speaking of birthdays.

[46:48] Speaking of birthdays, Dan was talking about.

[46:55] You're born and that's the day that you celebrate.

[47:00] Anything you need to know about how something works, ask me and I'll sing it to you.

[47:06] Unless it's really complicated and made out of words that don't rhyme so well.

[47:11] In which case, I don't know if I can help you so well, but I'll try till I die.

[47:19] So we're not going to make a habit of doing these birthday shout outs.

[47:23] I'm going to nip that in the bud.

[47:25] Take that bud and nip it.

[47:29] But since, but since it happens that a couple of these came up at the same time,

[47:34] I thought, why the hell not?

[47:35] Let's do these birthday things and then let's never do it again.

[47:38] You mean they're twins.

[47:41] So this goes, hello, Dan, Stu and Elliot.

[47:43] I'm writing to request a song for my wife, the lovely Michelle Sellers.

[47:53] Being so super popular and Entertainment Weekly certified now,

[47:56] what can I offer as an incentive?

[47:58] Money, compliments, firstborn human children, inspiring butts.

[48:02] I have one of those.

[48:04] Convincing Neil Breen to release his next film.

[48:06] A bit about Michelle, she's an avid flopper and promoter of all things peaches

[48:10] and has recently taken to singing Elliot inspired songs at random.

[48:14] That's the only way to do it.

[48:17] She is a particular Dan fan and supposes Stu is all right.

[48:21] Michelle is a feminist librarian at a small Southern college, Zen Buddhist and cat lover,

[48:26] as aforementioned song suggests.

[48:28] She is quite real mad libs of attributes there.

[48:31] She's quite the home cook, particularly skilled at Szechuan food with various fun dishes.

[48:36] She loves Kurosawa, French New Wave and Law & Order in equal measure.

[48:40] Uh, she is spending the weekend in sad morning due to missing your life shows.

[48:45] Life shows.

[48:46] Well, this actually says life shows.

[48:48] You know what it meant.

[48:50] Uh, so they're not our shows for life day.

[48:52] Look, I'm like, uh, we didn't invite an anchor, man.

[48:56] If you put it in the prompter, I'll just read it.

[48:58] So I guess that about covers the basis.

[49:00] Hope is my hope.

[49:01] My mix of my misc.

[49:03] All right.

[49:04] What are you, Popeye?

[49:05] I hope it's my miss.

[49:08] Potential bribing and reference musings have won you over.

[49:11] Flopping years, the vendor last name withheld.

[49:14] So I don't know if the spirit moves you.

[49:17] You could sing a song or we could ignore this.

[49:19] So what was her name again?

[49:20] Michelle.

[49:23] Sellers.

[49:25] Not related.

[49:27] Probably to Peter Sellers.

[49:30] Another Sellers.

[49:33] Thanks for listening.

[49:37] When you're cooking Szechuan food and doing the other things that the letter mentioned

[49:46] that I already forgot.

[49:53] So happy birthday, Michelle.

[49:56] Uh, next letter.

[49:58] I'm writing in regard to the.

[50:00] switcheroo and your stint on the adventures on podcast sorry about that

[50:04] that was a fabulous show I've been a D&D player that's a call back to a

[50:13] conversation we had backstage with a live show

[50:16] Jode Wilder you and your sister can go from your favorite movie Jewel of the Nile

[50:25] no so the adventure zone podcast that was a fabulous show I've been a D&D

[50:33] player since the late 1970s you remember back where you're born dachshunds even

[50:40] even working at TSR writing and editing Dungeons and Dragons products in the

[50:45] early 1990s spaghetti restaurant Ellis and Stuart is one of the best DMS I've

[50:51] heard he kept the story moving along didn't get bogged down and too much dice

[50:54] rolling or rules mechanics it was a pleasure to listen to it must have been

[50:58] quite a stretch for Elliot and Dan to take on such difficult roles for the

[51:01] game imagine Elliot stretching to play a

[51:04] character who finds pleasure in making short terrible ditties and Dan losing

[51:08] himself in the role of his long-suffering companion it boggles the

[51:11] mind thanks again watch his butts for all you do

[51:14] bill last name with health I just wanted to read that because I thought do or you

[51:18] deserve well I appreciate it it was super fun to do thanks bill it was fun

[51:26] hope we get the chance to it again some yeah we'll probably do it again soon

[51:29] yeah you've been pushing right after tonight what joking JK JK Simmons JK

[51:37] Rowling Simmons so this next letter is from Paul last name withheld and it's

[51:44] title or vino it's titled some anagram some anagrams some anagrams of the

[51:52] flophouse what could this be some anagrams of the

[51:56] flophouse hot foul sheep ooh plush feet I like that one feel

[52:02] tush poo Dan like that one for Dan McCoy can my

[52:07] cod for Elliot Kaelin all-oat tinkle and anal kite toll hey sometimes it's

[52:18] just accurate so the cards lay first if you if you fly anal kites it will take a

[52:22] huge toll on you for Stuart Wellington so many letters it's a world of

[52:28] possibility Stuart Wellington town slut triangle

[52:33] that's all that's it now you're all beautiful and talented Paul last name

[52:37] withheld thanks Paul think about that town slut triangle sounds like a movie

[52:44] just waiting to be tarped but I'll never stick a kite in my butt again without

[52:51] thinking of that the last letter of the evening oh that's how it works that's

[52:56] how it worked and says it's the last one and then it is that's how it works that's

[53:01] how it works he's gonna read it we'll talk about it then this segment is over

[53:08] that's how it works it's from another breakdown part where you were spoken

[53:14] word that's how it works we're going to work it now I'll tell you how it works

[53:18] with the last letter this is from Lola Lola Jesus Christ I just said it

[53:24] correctly one second ago and then you did the breakdown Dan says the thing and

[53:33] we throw him off I'm a 16 year old fan who recently had a few friends over for

[53:47] a screening of a frequently recommended flop I never thought it would happen to

[53:51] me but I had my friends over for I'm gonna I'm gonna say right now not age

[53:55] appropriate this was of course the cinematic masterwork that is Castle

[54:01] Freak yeah yep there you guys learn so much about anatomy though I would though

[54:06] I was disappointed by the lack of ding-dong ripping I still going to the

[54:11] bathroom during I still really enjoyed the film that is until my mom walked in

[54:16] during the scene during the scene where the titular hero bites a prostitute's

[54:22] nipple off yeah it was as you can imagine painfully awkward I mean I feel

[54:27] like it's your fault watching that movie when your mom's at home mm-hmm but even

[54:30] though my relationship with my mother is irrationally damaged she showed up she

[54:34] showed up with like pizza bagels and sodas for everybody kids I have Sonny D

[54:38] and the purple stuff oh my god oh dear Lord what's happening I still began I

[54:43] started Castle Freak without me I still begun planning a sequel Castle Freak

[54:51] takes New York in which the Catholic Freak I love it a Broadway sensation

[54:54] mm-hmm what would you guys want it from a castle play one show is one show he's

[54:59] not appearing in puppetry of the penis that's a Broadway show right it was near

[55:05] Broadway Broadway yeah I'm smart enough so cuz it closed yeah yeah or Equus for

[55:11] the same for both reasons so what would you like seeing a Castle Freak sequel

[55:18] with the question are we going to continue the idea that he is in a

[55:21] Broadway show or I can like the only the only boundaries is your imagination okay

[55:27] that's how it works that's how it works so obviously because it is the 21st

[55:34] century we're gonna take Cast Freak to cyberspace now he died at the end of the

[55:40] movie yep so his consciousness didn't it's been uploaded to the net so a local

[55:45] Italian hacker uploaded his consciousness to the internet mm-hmm in

[55:51] an attempt to break down I don't know create the ultimate virus okay okay now

[55:59] his castle now an anagram it is of course that's a castle like a castle

[56:03] walls like a firewall that somebody used to protect their goodies on the internet

[56:07] I'm sorry I mean acronym yeah it's like computer assault syndrome terror life

[56:14] eraser freak perfect yeah wait where's the freak come from no no the freak is

[56:19] not an act because he's a Castle Freak oh yeah Castle yeah he's even more of a

[56:24] freak now he's dead yeah yeah cuz he exists and freak is spelled pH oh no

[56:29] exactly or because he's I don't know made of acid I don't know why that was

[56:39] pH balance he's no longer a base so anyway he's uploaded it's not a basic

[56:44] bitch he's a phone free certainly not so he's uploaded to the net and then some

[56:50] Italian console cowboy comes along I love it still Italy you know the

[56:56] internet is global it's the World Wide Web it's not just the world that's a

[57:01] line from the movie oh my god he's gone global

[57:06] it's a me Leonardo da Vinci oh my god of the Castle Freak is it a my computer

[57:12] that's made out of brilliant and old style sticks and rocks

[57:17] again I made it out of a Bali computer show computer crust and so how do they

[57:30] defeat him did they rip off like a digital ding-dong oh they throw him off

[57:34] a roof it still ends up going into virtual reality cyberspace and throwing

[57:40] his hard drive and throw it off yeah they throw the computer off a roof it's

[57:44] just like that it's just like that scene we always watched at the show where Mark

[57:49] Harmon walks in on what NCIS and love that unplugged the computer to stop

[57:54] hackers only after so anyone who hasn't seen this you've probably seen it this

[57:58] is a clip we used to watch all time of The Daily Show an episode of NCIS where

[58:02] their science computer lab is being hacked into and the hacker character you

[58:07] know she's like a goth hacker because she's got like a nose ring and dyed

[58:11] black hair yeah Joker and she's probably listens to a lot of like what I don't

[58:17] even know like like five finger death punch and whatnot yeah that kind of

[58:21] stuff yeah like she goes to the warp tour a lot but the she's like I can't type

[58:34] fast enough I can't type fast leave this hacker out another scientist goes

[58:37] well let me in let me in and the two of them start typing on the same keyboard

[58:41] as if that'll make it go faster like they're playing heart and soul on the

[58:46] piano like typing is the same as like pushing a car that's not working so

[58:51] you're like well the two of us together we stronger and that they can't type on

[58:55] this keyboard together fast enough and so Mark Harmon walks over and unplugs

[58:58] the computer and he's like problem solved because NCIS is a show for old

[59:02] people who don't know how computers are such a great scene it's so funny yeah

[59:08] so much wrong with it problem solved okay so before we unplug this consider

[59:13] this freak castled starring Nathan Fillion that's how it works so now it's

[59:19] time for the final segment of the evening or day whenever you're listening to this

[59:24] thing or in life if you're dying that's right if you're dying please take these

[59:29] out and say goodbye to your show need to stay alive long enough to finish the

[59:33] Aloha episode what movies they like need to find out what the sting is after the

[59:39] theme song at the end are there any bloops

[59:57] bloops and poops

[1:00:00] Yeah, we have fun here sometimes.

[1:00:05] Whoa, sorry, Kitty.

[1:00:07] No, it's not. I was supposed to have more time.

[1:00:10] Time for the bloops.

[1:00:12] So, yeah, this is where we recommend movies that we saw.

[1:00:16] I'm sorry you have one bloop to live.

[1:00:19] Make it a good bloop.

[1:00:22] This is where we recommend movies.

[1:00:24] I have to finish everything on my bloop-it list.

[1:00:27] That we liked in contrast to a movie like Aloha.

[1:00:33] Hello.

[1:00:34] That we loved.

[1:00:36] I'll start.

[1:00:37] I watched the movie It's Such a Beautiful Day,

[1:00:42] the Don Hertzfeldt animated film.

[1:00:46] It's available on Netflix streaming.

[1:00:48] You can watch it in a mere hour of your time,

[1:00:52] and I recommend it highly.

[1:00:54] Even though it's an hour and a half long.

[1:00:56] It's an animated film that, I mean,

[1:00:59] Don Hertzfeldt has done a bunch of animated shorts,

[1:01:04] but this is one of his long pieces,

[1:01:08] and he does it in a sort of a stick figure-y style

[1:01:11] that's deceptively simple.

[1:01:13] He's a really great animator,

[1:01:14] but he uses on top of the stick figure animations,

[1:01:17] the pencil animations, a lot of collage,

[1:01:21] a lot of different effects.

[1:01:24] He puts in some live action shots as well,

[1:01:29] and it's about a character.

[1:01:31] I guess what you're saying is he puts the ooh in cartoon.

[1:01:34] I don't know if I would say that.

[1:01:36] You said it, dude.

[1:01:37] I'm quoting you.

[1:01:38] Now I feel ashamed.

[1:01:39] It's right here in Animation Age magazine.

[1:01:43] Look, it's on the Cartoon Brew website.

[1:01:45] Okay, he puts the ooh in cartoon.

[1:01:47] But it's about a character called Bill who,

[1:01:49] it starts out as a bunch of unconnected.

[1:01:52] Anyway, I won't interrupt anymore.

[1:01:54] It starts out as a bunch of unconnected vignettes,

[1:01:56] and then it slowly becomes a story of how this character

[1:02:00] has a sort of unspecified terminal disease

[1:02:05] that means that he starts having hallucinations,

[1:02:08] and then the movie sort of tracks the progression of this disease.

[1:02:15] It tracks flashbacks into his past and his family history

[1:02:20] and how they've had a crazy, unlucky time,

[1:02:24] and then it flashes forward in sort of,

[1:02:26] not flashes forward, but it tracks Bill's future,

[1:02:29] how the disease progresses,

[1:02:31] and how there's sort of a transcendent ending to it all.

[1:02:34] It's all about death and coming to terms with death

[1:02:41] and coming to terms with aging,

[1:02:43] but it's also funny and it pushes the boundaries of cartooning,

[1:02:48] and it's sad and sort of beautiful,

[1:02:52] and it all happens, as I said, in an hour.

[1:02:56] So I highly recommend you watch Don Hertzfeld's

[1:03:00] It's Such a Beautiful Day.

[1:03:02] And that's my recommendation.

[1:03:04] Sounds good.

[1:03:06] Stuart, do you want to go next or should I go next?

[1:03:08] Sure, I'll go next.

[1:03:09] I'm going to recommend a movie I think you guys have already seen,

[1:03:11] but haven't recommended.

[1:03:12] It's called Aloha.

[1:03:13] I'm going to recommend, hello.

[1:03:14] That's how it works.

[1:03:18] I'm going to recommend a movie called Sicario.

[1:03:23] Sicario is a movie.

[1:03:25] It's about a sick car, yo.

[1:03:27] Yo.

[1:03:28] Let me see if I can pronounce this name properly.

[1:03:33] That was stupid and I loved it.

[1:03:35] Let me see if I can pronounce this name properly.

[1:03:38] Emily Blunt is in it.

[1:03:40] Oh, okay.

[1:03:41] Was that a switch-em-up?

[1:03:42] Because it's directed by Denis Villeneuve,

[1:03:47] who directed Prisoners and Enemy.

[1:03:52] And When Harry Met Sally, right?

[1:03:54] Probably.

[1:03:55] That's right.

[1:03:56] Now, Sicario is like those movies in that it's got atmosphere for days.

[1:04:00] It's got some heavy foreboding soundtrack.

[1:04:03] It's got some nice long, slow shots.

[1:04:06] There's a lot of shadows.

[1:04:09] It's really tense.

[1:04:10] It's all about building that tension, man.

[1:04:12] And it's about the drug war along the Texas and the Arizona border along Mexico.

[1:04:20] And the story focuses on Emily Blunt, who plays, I believe, an FBI agent.

[1:04:26] I don't know.

[1:04:28] But she gets kind of wrapped up in.

[1:04:33] I don't know.

[1:04:34] I didn't see the movie.

[1:04:35] You're doing like a report, a school report on a book.

[1:04:38] Sicario is the story of a sicar that.

[1:04:42] No, but it says FBI agent in IMDb.

[1:04:45] So she gets kind of wrapped up in this investigation with some members of a seemingly unknown U.S. government organization

[1:04:56] to kind of take on the Mexican cartels.

[1:05:00] To take on me.

[1:05:01] To take on me.

[1:05:02] Take me on.

[1:05:03] I'll be gone.

[1:05:04] And she turns into a tune.

[1:05:06] Your recommendation.

[1:05:08] So Sicario, watch it.

[1:05:11] And it gets pretty intense.

[1:05:14] All right.

[1:05:15] I'm going to recommend a movie that I originally planned to recommend at one of our live shows.

[1:05:20] But we didn't do recommendations for those.

[1:05:22] We had watched the film Entourage.

[1:05:24] And I decided to recommend a movie about a slightly more likable group of young people than the Entourage group, which is.

[1:05:30] Jackass the movie.

[1:05:32] Which is Class of 1984, which is one of the classic punk movies.

[1:05:39] And that is a movie about how punk teens are a menace who will rape and kill people.

[1:05:44] But the movie ends up being such an antisocial, like enjoyable piece of trash that it's kind of more punk than they meant it to be.

[1:05:51] That's not a surprise.

[1:05:53] It's directed by Mark Lester, who you know best as the director of Commando, another movie that is such trash that it becomes brilliant.

[1:06:01] And it stars a whole slew of stars.

[1:06:04] Timothy Van Patten, Roddy McDowell, Michael J. Fox before he put the J in his name when he was just Michael Fox.

[1:06:11] And it's all about how these kids in the 80s with their punk music and their crazy haircuts are going to start acting up, swearing at teachers.

[1:06:20] And running drug rings and prostitution rings out of the backs of nightclubs and killing people.

[1:06:26] And it's a super crazy, enjoyable movie except for a sexual assault scene that I did not care for.

[1:06:34] That I watched again recently having not seen it in a long time, and I had forgotten about this scene somehow.

[1:06:40] And I did not like that part.

[1:06:41] That was unnecessary.

[1:06:42] But otherwise, it's – if you wanted to see a band teacher – this is for Funky Winker Bean fans out there.

[1:06:48] If you want to see a band teacher get his life ruined by a bunch of crazy punk teens who have the greatest wardrobes maybe in the history of film, and then he gets revenge on them by killing all of them, then this is the movie for you, Class of 1984.

[1:07:04] Theme song by Alice Cooper.

[1:07:07] Well, he sang it.

[1:07:08] He didn't write it.

[1:07:10] Jesus.

[1:07:12] Jump down my throat.

[1:07:15] Yeah, you're not the cat from Tales from the Dark Side, the movie.

[1:07:18] And Dan's not Buster Poindexter, the star of Freejack.

[1:07:23] Yes, supporting character.

[1:07:25] Freejack.

[1:07:26] He's not even the second lead from Freejack.

[1:07:29] Who is it?

[1:07:30] Mick Jaggster?

[1:07:31] Yeah.

[1:07:32] You're better off calling him the star of Scrooge, which he's also not the star of.

[1:07:37] He just plays the – he plays the cabbie, the main character.

[1:07:40] He's the taxi cab ghost of the past.

[1:07:41] Now, how much does The Jack cost on that movie?

[1:07:45] I don't know.

[1:07:46] Probably $25.

[1:07:47] Really?

[1:07:48] More best offer.

[1:07:49] Surprisingly expensive.

[1:07:50] No, it's because it's GMO-free.

[1:07:54] Yeah, exactly.

[1:07:55] Free-range Jack.

[1:07:56] Yeah, it's free-range grass-fed Jack.

[1:07:59] It's healthier that way.

[1:08:00] It's kangaroo Jack, which do not want.

[1:08:04] What if Mick Jagger pulled kangaroo Jack from the past in Freejack?

[1:08:09] How disappointed would he be when he's like, I thought you were going to be a rapping kangaroo,

[1:08:13] but you're just a regular kangaroo?

[1:08:15] That was a dream sequence or something?

[1:08:17] Yeah.

[1:08:18] Can't get no satisfaction.

[1:08:20] Under your thumb.

[1:08:22] Roo.

[1:08:23] Perfect.

[1:08:24] Keep going.

[1:08:25] How many other songs do you know by the sounds?

[1:08:27] The Beast of Burden, in this case, would be a kangaroo, of course.

[1:08:29] Yeah.

[1:08:30] I'm just waiting for a friend named kangaroo Jack.

[1:08:31] Wow, kangaroos.

[1:08:32] Couldn't drag me away.

[1:08:33] Yeah, exactly.

[1:08:34] Voodoo Lounge, good for kangaroos.

[1:08:35] Brown Sugar, clearly is the brown of the kangaroos.

[1:08:37] Pelt.

[1:08:38] And the sweetness of the pouch.

[1:08:42] To keep all their treats, I guess.

[1:08:44] Other Rolling Stones songs.

[1:08:46] You got us.

[1:08:47] Sympathy for the Kangaroo.

[1:08:48] Painted.

[1:08:49] Painted Jack.

[1:08:50] It's called Kangaroo Jack.

[1:08:53] Because of the famous kangaroo scrotum.

[1:08:57] Which they turn into, what, bagpipes?

[1:09:01] Their famous song, Can't You Hear Me Jackin'.

[1:09:08] And, of course, who could forget Jack Sucker Blues.

[1:09:13] There you go.

[1:09:14] The unreleased Stone song.

[1:09:16] Not Jumpin' Jack Flash.

[1:09:17] Oh, damn it.

[1:09:18] Oh, shit.

[1:09:19] Oh, snap.

[1:09:20] He was lying on the ground and he walked right past it.

[1:09:23] How did we not see it?

[1:09:24] I'm picking up pennies and there's a gold bar sitting right in front of me.

[1:09:28] Stewart, that's how it works.

[1:09:35] But, anyway, for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:09:40] I've been Stewart Wellington.

[1:09:42] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:09:44] And that's the end of the show.

[1:09:46] We say our names and say goodbye.

[1:09:48] And that's how it works.

[1:09:50] Aloha.

[1:09:51] Hello.

[1:09:55] Those bloopers are going in the bloopers, too.

[1:09:57] Those are top bloops.

[1:10:00] bloopers your favorite collection video bloopers of people failing to use the

[1:10:04] toilet properly why was a camera on them who knows but but that's not a toilet

[1:10:12] that's a sink going those aren't kids those are normal adults what's going on

[1:10:17] this guy just can't seem to get the paper to his anus let's watch what

[1:10:24] happens why it's called out boobers and rectal jokes the Sergio Aragonese

[1:10:35] cartoons are disgusting dick craps

[1:10:39] boobers and rectal jokes maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned

[1:10:51] listener-supported let's be honest we live in a world with too much media you

[1:10:56] need a podcast on the front lines figuring out what's great we're here for

[1:11:00] you we're pop rocket I am guy Branham I'm a comedian I'm

[1:11:04] Wynton Mitchell I call myself a digital strategist I'm all over wing academic

[1:11:08] and disc junkie Margaret Wappler je suis as journalist and we watch listen to

[1:11:14] and read everything so that you don't have to and then we tell you about all

[1:11:17] the things that you'll love to love find us in iTunes or wherever you

[1:11:21] download podcasts pop rocket every Wednesday from maximum fun org

Ep. #196 - Aloha

Chapters

Transcript

Description