Ep. #204 - We Are Your Friends

[0:00] On this episode, we watched We Are Your Friends.

[0:04] We are your friends, Dan.

[0:06] Thanks.

[0:07] Yeah, me too.

[0:08] So, uh, sign over all your stuff to us.

[0:11] Oh, okay. I'll just, uh...

[0:12] Like a friend.

[0:13] Right?

[0:15] Mm-hmm. There you go.

[0:16] Good foley work.

[0:18] Are we done with this part yet?

[0:20] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[0:22] ♪♪♪

[0:48] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

[0:50] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:51] Check out that energy on Dan McCoy, everybody.

[0:53] Whoop, whoop! Whoop, whoop, whoop!

[0:56] And you are?

[0:57] I am the co-host of this podcast, Stuart Wellington.

[1:00] And keeping it electric and on target, I'm Elliot Kalem.

[1:04] Oh, man.

[1:06] Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[1:07] Dan, I'm DJing.

[1:08] Okay, all right.

[1:09] Yeah.

[1:10] And I'm blowing out everybody's ears.

[1:11] He's electric. I'm on target. We're a DJ team.

[1:14] Elliot primarily handles the music.

[1:17] I handle, uh, the dancing.

[1:19] And the snacks.

[1:20] Yeah, and the snacks, of course.

[1:22] Stuart's what we call a snack artist or a snartist.

[1:26] Mm-hmm.

[1:27] So I got Nutter Butters, I got, uh,

[1:30] I don't know, uh, uh, Zingers.

[1:33] Yeah.

[1:34] Zingers. Snack Zingers.

[1:36] Yeah, well, the Zingers are great,

[1:37] because they're less expensive than, I don't know,

[1:39] like Hostess brand snacks.

[1:41] Which one, uh, which one is that?

[1:43] Is that like a Twinkie?

[1:45] Yeah, it's an upside-down Twinkie

[1:47] with, like, a layer of, uh, frosting on it.

[1:50] How can you tell whether the Twinkie's upside-down or not?

[1:53] Oh, because it's Australian.

[1:54] Yeah.

[1:55] Yeah.

[1:56] It's pretty obvious, dude.

[1:58] I'm full of cream, mate.

[2:01] Yep, and you're like, uh,

[2:02] the snack's talking to me.

[2:03] I must have been doing some of those party drugs

[2:05] that we saw in this movie.

[2:06] In this movie?

[2:07] Damn, what did we do on this podcast

[2:09] that we watched a movie about?

[2:10] We watched a bad movie and then we talked about it.

[2:12] And then, in this case,

[2:13] we watched a movie called We Are Your Friends.

[2:16] And I think in this episode,

[2:17] we're also going to be, uh,

[2:18] feeding you a lot of black coffee

[2:19] and walking you up and down the apartment

[2:21] to counteract the sedatives I think you took.

[2:23] Am I really that low energy?

[2:26] I can't tell whether or not you're...

[2:28] You just got a little sleepy.

[2:29] Uh, well, I am sleepy.

[2:31] I was out last night and I have minor cold.

[2:34] At some kind of DJ rave?

[2:36] Yeah, I am. That makes sense.

[2:38] Did you go to, uh, Social?

[2:40] The club that our heroes hang out at?

[2:42] Yeah, do you go to a club that is,

[2:45] I'm assuming, fictional

[2:46] because it appears in a work of fiction?

[2:48] That's right.

[2:50] No, I hung out with our mutual friend, Liz.

[2:53] Oh.

[2:54] Maybe you can understand.

[2:56] Here's my impression of a listener.

[2:58] Bored.

[2:59] I don't know who Liz is and I don't care.

[3:01] Aw, shoot. I'm snoring.

[3:03] Come on, movie monkeys.

[3:05] Talk about the movie.

[3:06] I just knew that Stuart would understand.

[3:08] Hey, you know who wouldn't understand?

[3:10] Everyone who's not Stuart

[3:11] who's listening to this right now

[3:13] saying, I'm not interested.

[3:15] The thing is, L.A., with, uh,

[3:17] you know, auditory experiences,

[3:19] you just got to kind of reach out

[3:21] and find that one person that you connect with.

[3:23] Here's the one person that we connect with.

[3:25] In this case, it's me.

[3:26] And I guess Liz.

[3:27] We are your friends, you know?

[3:29] And in this case, it's me acting as if you're my friend

[3:32] and you know what the hell I'm talking about.

[3:34] You're talking to the listener right now?

[3:36] Yeah.

[3:37] Okay, because I am your friend.

[3:38] Yeah.

[3:39] You're looking at me like, wait.

[3:40] The relationship sounds strange at this point.

[3:42] It sounds, yeah.

[3:44] Uh, so this was a movie, uh,

[3:46] and I got to be up front about this, dudes.

[3:49] My wife is, uh, friends slash, I guess,

[3:53] acquaintances with the director, Max Joseph.

[3:56] You really downgraded your relationship?

[3:58] Well, I don't know how close, like, she says friend,

[4:01] but you know sometimes when you hear, like,

[4:03] a person who does something famous,

[4:05] you're like, oh, that's my friend.

[4:06] You're like, really, friend?

[4:08] Facebook has downgraded what it means to be a friend.

[4:10] Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

[4:12] I mean, because if, because if,

[4:13] here's what you would usually say.

[4:15] If you've met someone and had a pleasant interaction with them.

[4:17] Suddenly you're a friend.

[4:18] Yeah.

[4:19] But are you friendly enough with them that you would say,

[4:20] thank you for being a friend?

[4:22] Travel down the road and back again.

[4:24] Your heart is true.

[4:25] You're a pal and a confidant.

[4:27] And if you threw a party, and this is a real test.

[4:30] Okay.

[4:31] Invited everyone you knew.

[4:32] Everybody, why would I do that?

[4:34] Invite, for this is a hypothetical situation,

[4:36] which theoretically, just for this.

[4:38] I mean, I know a lot of people who I don't.

[4:40] Look, Dan, could Einstein really ride a light ray?

[4:42] No.

[4:43] Okay.

[4:44] He couldn't ride a beam of light,

[4:45] but for the thought experiment's sake,

[4:46] he would pretend he could.

[4:47] Okay.

[4:48] So for this thought experiment,

[4:49] you've invited everyone you know,

[4:51] even people you don't like.

[4:53] All the people I know are dancing on the head of a pin.

[4:55] Yeah, exactly.

[4:56] Wait, it's a party where people give you gifts, right?

[5:00] Exactly.

[5:01] So why are you inviting them to your own party?

[5:03] That seems kind of, like you're stacking the,

[5:06] like if you're like, I'm throwing a party,

[5:08] and I want people to give me gifts, I'm going to invite.

[5:11] Yeah, it's called a birthday.

[5:12] Do you invite, I mean,

[5:14] usually birthday parties just happen for me.

[5:16] You just walk into a room and it's a spontaneous birthday.

[5:19] So here's the point I'm getting at.

[5:21] If you threw a party, invited everyone you knew,

[5:23] everyone you knew,

[5:25] you would see the biggest gift would be from me.

[5:30] What is that, like a pony?

[5:32] Yes.

[5:33] Bigger.

[5:34] Is that a pony or a size?

[5:35] Are we talking?

[5:36] Both.

[5:37] Oh, wow.

[5:38] So it's like a diamond the size of me.

[5:40] It's enormous.

[5:41] If anything, it's too big.

[5:42] It's too big to store.

[5:43] It is a white elephant of a gift,

[5:45] but it's also very valuable if you can find the right buyer,

[5:49] which is hard to do in today's market.

[5:51] But the card attached would say,

[5:55] the card attached to this huge gift,

[5:57] you might not even see the card for a while because the gift is so big.

[6:00] It'd be like seeing one window on an enormous skyscraper,

[6:03] like it just blends in with the background,

[6:05] but eventually you would see the gift would be from me,

[6:09] and the card attached would say,

[6:11] thank you for being friend.

[6:16] And I have a picture of Maxine on the front

[6:18] looking real craggy, like real cranky,

[6:21] and she'd be saying something about, I don't know,

[6:23] menopause or something, like getting older.

[6:25] So that's probably from Sophia then,

[6:28] judging by the choice of card.

[6:31] It was Blanche.

[6:32] She would have given one of those like a picture of a bunch of hunks.

[6:36] Yeah, Blanche, it would have been like one of those Spencer's Gifts cards

[6:40] where it's a naked man with his arms behind his head

[6:42] and there's like a balloon in front of his crotch.

[6:44] Yeah, it's like open up for a big balloon.

[6:47] Balloon sandwich?

[6:50] That would be so fun, like open up for a giant sausage.

[6:53] And there'd be a picture of like a sausage.

[6:55] Yeah, hot dogs inside.

[6:56] And Dorothy, of course.

[6:58] You're immediately disappointed.

[7:00] Dorothy, of course, would have just gotten,

[7:01] she might have gotten you the Maxine card,

[7:03] although she would have seen it and said,

[7:04] this hits too close to home, put it back.

[7:06] She would have gotten you like just a card that says,

[7:08] to name TBD from Dorothy.

[7:11] And Rose doesn't even know what she's doing.

[7:13] She buys you a fucking like Groundhog Day card if they sell those.

[7:16] And you're like, are you literate, Rose?

[7:19] Maybe in St. Olaf's, this is how they do things.

[7:22] But here in Florida, we have standards for our cards.

[7:26] So, Dan, the point is friendship.

[7:28] Yeah.

[7:29] This movie's all about it.

[7:30] Uh-huh.

[7:31] It's the real Entourage.

[7:33] Wow, we crushed some serious time with that opening, guys.

[7:36] Good job.

[7:37] So, We Are Your Friends is kind of like if someone decided,

[7:40] I'm going to make the grim, gritty, realistic reboot of Entourage.

[7:44] But not grim or gritty enough to be like kids.

[7:47] No.

[7:48] Not like, yeah.

[7:49] Not like grim in a sense of like big terrible things are going to happen.

[7:53] There's no fairy tale characters.

[7:55] And not grim in a sense that Christian Bale is there like in bodysuit armor,

[8:00] like going around and cracking skulls.

[8:02] No, that's true.

[8:03] That's also not part of this.

[8:05] Wes Bentley.

[8:06] Can we trust him?

[8:09] Wes Bentley's in this movie, not Wes Studi, which I keep calling him.

[8:13] Wes Bentley.

[8:14] That would be great if there were three, like, young, white friends,

[8:17] and then Wes Studi.

[8:18] This is the fourth guy.

[8:19] Yeah.

[8:20] I mean, it makes sense to me.

[8:21] He's awesome.

[8:22] He's Geronimo.

[8:23] He'd love to hang out with us.

[8:25] He'd look at Deep Icing.

[8:26] No, he's great.

[8:27] He played Mogwai, bro.

[8:29] He's amazing.

[8:30] He's out of the range.

[8:32] He's played a terrorist, a Native American war leader.

[8:35] Yeah, I mean, no, I love him.

[8:39] Let's start a Wes Studi romantic lead.

[8:41] I can see why you're having trouble with your biography of Wes Studi

[8:44] that you're working on.

[8:45] I don't think you've done the full research.

[8:47] Stuart has a Ph.D. in Wes Studies, Wes Studi Studies.

[8:52] He, for a time, changed his name to Wes Stuart.

[8:55] Yeah, I did.

[8:56] Yeah, and then Studi Wellington.

[8:58] Then Studi Wessington.

[9:00] Yeah, I spent a lot of time.

[9:02] That was his baby, Arch.

[9:06] I'm Studi Wellington.

[9:08] Okay, so We Are Your Friends is about mainly Zac Efron as Cole,

[9:12] who is a young loser.

[9:15] A love of Cole.

[9:17] And he wants to be a diamond.

[9:19] That's the thing, yeah.

[9:20] Yeah, he's the diamond in the rough in this Cole, and boy is it rough.

[9:24] He lives in his friend's parent's pool house in exchange for doing chores around the house.

[9:29] Wow.

[9:31] You just keep going.

[9:32] You say pool house, and then you start the next sentence with house.

[9:35] Okay, sorry, keep going.

[9:38] I don't understand what the problem was.

[9:40] Wow.

[9:41] Stuart is copy editing you as you talk.

[9:43] But in a dumb way.

[9:44] Like, okay, you use the single most accurate word for both of these things.

[9:50] Why don't you give it to something else?

[9:52] Okay, he lives in their nautical guest building in exchange for doing chores.

[10:00] chores around their bungalow okay okay and I don't even know I don't think it's

[10:04] a bungalow that might be and he's living with his his buddy who's like a like a

[10:09] balder sassier version of his buddy is the guy in all these movies who is the

[10:14] crazier wilder friends to the man in another movie he's like the Matthew

[10:24] Lillard to the Freddie Prinze jr. of of this of a Zac Efron in this movie

[10:30] Zac Efron's Cole like the Ben Affleck to Cole's Matt Damon yes also a hothead

[10:37] that's the thing he's not just a goofy guy he's the guy who's gonna get in

[10:42] fights all the time yeah I mean that's the Ben Affleck to the Matt Damon all

[10:45] right surely and also his friend is goes out with a series of Jennifer's okay

[10:52] just like Ben Affleck oh that's any directs gone baby gone anyway so don't

[11:12] worry about it but Zac Efron wants to be a DJ he is right now is just barely a

[11:19] club promoter he has two other friends one whose name I can't remember who is a

[11:22] drug dealer wears a hat and those kind of like a low-rent Johnny Depp and the

[11:27] other is named squirrel and he's like the nerd of the group and which means

[11:31] something terrible is gonna happen to him later when he expresses his need to

[11:35] leave the group in some way and so they're looking for the way to get rich

[11:38] quick mainly through the club scene they're working as a promoter for this

[11:41] club social mm-hmm as promoters they're not they don't combine Voltron style

[11:46] into one amazing promoter and the movie is somewhat narrated by Zac Efron

[11:52] explaining how things work in the valley in LA and how life is over there and you

[11:56] got to stick with your buds and when it comes to electronic dance music

[12:00] everything is about controlling the heart rate and the movie does a lot of

[12:04] what like the big short did with like cutting to old footage from cartoons old

[12:11] footage from medical educational shorts you know just a lot of text on the

[12:16] screen I guess being sure to do a lot of text and screen if you like sans serif

[12:20] it's answer next if you like no sans serif sans serif if you like the Game

[12:26] of Thrones character answer it if you like text that's just very blocky on the

[12:35] screen and big letters if you're Wes Anderson like this movie but what

[12:38] Anderson doesn't use it this in your face okay yeah I mean well this is

[12:45] loving a lot of Jefferson likes yellow text this was mostly white text okay

[12:50] because he this movie's a racist I mean there are almost there are no speaking

[12:56] parts of color I think yeah entire movie there are background people that are

[12:59] black but anyway they there are foursome they are inseparable even though they

[13:05] don't really seem to like each other that much they just kind of bond over

[13:09] partying and scheming yeah their personalities are broadly sketched out

[13:13] in the opening scenes of them hitting on girls and convincing people to go to

[13:16] social the club where is a night we're at West Bentley a hugely famous DJ is

[13:21] gonna be DJ and West Bentley is kind of like a an aspirational figure for Zac

[13:27] Efron yeah he's a successful DJ he's famous and a big old house big old pool

[13:33] yeah and a he's got a cool guy hair girl right here and tell us about his

[13:39] assistant girlfriend Dan she's got big something's okay what's her name her

[13:46] name is Emily right Raja koski Emily ratatouille Emily radical and we meet you

[13:55] right house key I know it's what is it rather cows rag ratted reddish

[13:59] Rada Rada Rada Gowski she's a girl from gone girl and entourage the movie where

[14:06] she plays herself now she they have a meet cute where at a club she is they

[14:12] have a lock eyes she and Zac Efron lock eyes across the floor

[14:16] ala West Side Story yep but when she finds out that he is there because he's

[14:21] a club promoter she is part of the promotion team she is not interested

[14:25] meanwhile dry squirrel is getting all is all up in some crazy club related

[14:31] person yeah I mean the squirrel has a good night it's cool yeah he gets

[14:36] essentially they made a whole movie about it yeah wait what it's called

[14:45] we're your friends they the guys decide you know what we need to start making

[14:50] some money so they get jobs working for daredevils the Punisher who runs a

[14:54] real estate company that basically swoops in and buys up for closed houses

[15:00] for pennies on the dollar it takes a long time for these guys to realize

[15:03] they're involved in something shady the fact that the guy when he hires them

[15:07] gives them $1,000 in cash and a speech in which he's constantly holding a

[15:11] baseball bat doesn't seem to tip them off that this guy's not on the level

[15:15] they've never seen any movie about people cold-calling things or any like

[15:21] even use the term cold-calling yeah so they must have seen one of those maybe

[15:29] we misheard it and he said cold-calling we're gonna be doing cold-calling like

[15:34] cold will call cold call customers like yes caveman call but Cole ends up

[15:43] becoming friends with this DJ for the West Bentley and the West really starts

[15:47] becoming kind of a mentor for you for him even though his rowdy friends break

[15:51] up a party at West Bentley's house where a Cole has been hired to DJ and shows to

[15:57] Emily Rajinowski how to use his music to get a party started by literally

[16:02] reaching out with his sounds and controlling the heartbeats of the crowd

[16:06] circulatory system is putty and is ample DJ hands here's what you might want to

[16:11] see this movie because you like watching footage of people bouncing up and down

[16:15] to electronic dance music yeah a lot of that there's one scene where he's on

[16:21] drugs and he hallucinates that everyone is turning into cartoons and cartoons

[16:28] do reverse up and down to electronic dances a reverse cool world I guess

[16:33] that'd be who framed Roger Rabbit and that's like how so it's like a good

[16:37] movie oh okay as opposed to cool world I just read that Holly was coming out of

[16:42] the worst yeah would reverse rotoscoping that is the third act of cool world you

[16:46] replace her with people yeah I think so but people dressed as the cartoon

[16:51] characters which would be pretty funny it's like a Disney cartoon and Mickey

[16:57] all Mickey's friends are being replaced by people in very cheap yeah the movie

[17:01] Dick Tracy is super funny they he's attracted to Emily Ratajkowski even

[17:14] though she is claimed by what he sees West Valley all the girls and so there's

[17:21] a night I'm gonna skip way ahead Zac Efron keeps saying you just need one

[17:27] track you need one track yeah he has a track he's been working on but it's

[17:31] terrible it's just your average garbage nonsense it's like it's not like

[17:36] everything else yeah I mean we should probably come out and say this I know

[17:40] everyone has listened this podcast and they're like those guys probably know

[17:44] everything about EDM that means electronic dance music but we don't we

[17:50] are not super familiar with it so it all sounds like the same Nintendo music to

[17:54] me yeah no it's got the bleeps it's got the bloops

[18:27] yeah there's a scene in the movie where they kind of described the different

[18:43] types of dance music they all kind of sound the same here's the thing you hear

[18:47] a lot of different and I'm gonna say right now just because I know this is

[18:51] actually conversations do remember having that something else before we

[18:54] watch the movie just because I don't personally like a form of art doesn't

[18:59] mean I don't appreciate that other people like it and then as a place just

[19:02] because I don't like it doesn't mean it's automatically terrible and

[19:06] shouldn't exist that being said especially for someone like me who

[19:09] listens to a lot of thrash metal to which to someone else's ear might all

[19:12] sound the same yep all that music sounds the same to me so like throughout the

[19:17] movie you're hearing different electronic music songs and they're all

[19:20] basically the same the structures are almost I didn't nearly identical it

[19:25] seems like and the differences are just kind of like which bleeps and bloops get

[19:28] thrown in please I try to sound like a super old man talking about it but it's

[19:32] like they do a very poor job in the movie of making me feel the excitement

[19:36] of what what that music brings to him I know they're trying this is a movie that

[19:40] is you know weird way extremely sincere yes it wants to make you feel like it's

[19:48] not entourage which is about letting you inhabit a world for 90 minutes where

[19:52] if you are a white straight dude all your dreams come true because you're

[19:57] super rich and women want to fall with their mouths on your dicks

[20:00] You have traveled to Valhalla, enjoy it for 90 minutes.

[20:04] They're like, this is, you know what, we're going to bring you inside this guy's world.

[20:08] And the movie I kept thinking of was Breaking Away, where like, I don't care about bike riding,

[20:12] but I really understood that guy's need for bike riding. But this,

[20:16] I like it, just never quite connected to me. But Dan, you were going to say?

[20:19] No, I do think that the movie does a pretty good job of, whether or not you

[20:23] like the music, I think that it did a good job of

[20:27] showing that his original song wasn't that good.

[20:31] That's true. Like that it was an uninspired version of the type of music

[20:35] he wanted to make. I will say, the song he plays at the end, spoiler alert, he plays

[20:39] the song at the end, is much better than the one he plays at the beginning.

[20:43] But it still sounds essentially like all the other music we've been hearing.

[20:47] So he goes on his traditional hero's journey, but it's on

[20:51] two forking paths. One of those forks is him and

[20:55] Wes Studi, just making music, bro, chilling out.

[20:59] Wes Studi, who's like always drunk.

[21:03] This movie takes a hard line, you shouldn't drink stance.

[21:07] It's one of those movies that is about how you've got to find your

[21:11] place in this club scene, with this music that makes people just want to

[21:15] fucking dance and lose control, but drinking's bad, drugs are bad,

[21:19] stay in school everybody, come on, work hard. Which is a lesson I can totally get

[21:23] behind, but it feels like a cop out to me,

[21:27] in the movie about a guy whose dream is to be a DJ, that the movie's lesson is

[21:31] hey man, stay clean and stay in school. Let's rap about

[21:35] the real issues you teens are facing. We all want to be Hulkamaniacs.

[21:39] Eat your vegetables. So wait, Hulkamaniacs don't do drugs?

[21:43] So how do they get so super ripped and stuff? Hulk doesn't want his Hulkamaniacs

[21:47] to do drugs because they'll get as strong as him, and be able to challenge him

[21:51] for the title of Hulk. That's a title?

[21:55] I thought it was passed down from father to son. Like a title would be.

[21:59] But wait, so if they challenge him, wait a minute,

[22:03] if they challenge him, you can just become the Hulk? Any crown is up for grabs

[22:07] by the laws of force. Okay, so he wants to keep it in his family.

[22:11] Exactly. Okay, that makes sense. But let's say Dan

[22:15] decides to roid up, becomes a super hulking maniac,

[22:19] goes to Hulk Hogan's house, and he, hey, you know what?

[22:23] My pythons are bigger than your pythons. Do you hear what Dan McCoy

[22:27] is cooking? And also, hearing is not the

[22:31] sense he used for cooking. I just do that

[22:35] waving around the ear. Yeah, to get the audience to roar, but there's no audience

[22:39] because you've broken into his house late at night. You are a trespasser at this point,

[22:43] and you just go into his room while he's sleeping, and you're like

[22:47] I'll put you in a real sleeper hold, and you just shoot him in the head.

[22:51] He says, A2, brother. You didn't even need

[22:55] to roid up. And people are like, oh, oh, he just

[22:59] covered the Hulkster's weakness, which is that he's immortal. And you say,

[23:03] yeah, I'm the Hulk now, so you're all my Hulk-o-maniacs. Have fun with your family

[23:07] and friends, which is in the Hulk-o-maniac song. And Dan,

[23:11] next thing you know, Gawker's putting your sex tape up online, and you're making big bucks

[23:15] suing them over it. Oh, wow. I've got to get on this. I've got to make a sex tape.

[23:19] That's what I'm hearing. That's like step 17 of this plan, Dan.

[23:23] First you've got to start roiding like crazy. Yeah, just get on the roid track.

[23:27] I should probably have that sex tape banked, though, for when I'm roided up.

[23:31] I mean, you're going to want it to be you roided up so that people know it's you. They're going to be like, who's this scrawny guy who has

[23:35] Dan's head? And now here's the thing. You want to avoid the noise

[23:39] because he ruins steroids and pizzas.

[23:43] So, Wes Bentley, despite being a success,

[23:47] is a drunk. The guy who runs the real estate office, despite

[23:51] being a financial success, is very much

[23:55] a slimy guy. These are examples of what Zac Efron fears

[23:59] he will become should he make the wrong choices. Meanwhile, he's attracted to

[24:03] what's her name? There's a mutual attraction. At a big

[24:07] electronic music expo, let's call it, concert in

[24:11] Las Vegas, they meet up, do drugs, and

[24:15] have a wild night of running around like they're the band of outsiders.

[24:19] All that tension builds to a climax, and then they totally

[24:23] make out all over Las Vegas. And then they do it. They do it, but they seem to get

[24:27] less joy out of doing it than they do out of pancakes and cheeseburgers

[24:31] they had this morning. Not that unrealistic to certain types of doing it.

[24:35] Now, here's the thing. Have you guys ever been on a date that consisted mainly

[24:39] of you running while holding hands with the girl, just smiling and laughing your head off?

[24:43] I've had some great dates. My wife and I, when we were first dating, and to

[24:47] this day, we continue to have great dates, and our first dates are magical. We never

[24:51] had a date where we were just running down the streets of the city holding each other's hands laughing.

[24:55] Yeah. The only time that there was any running and possible laughing,

[24:59] although I can't remember, was when I had a date and it

[25:03] started really raining, and so we had to run. Does that count?

[25:07] Sure. That's a movie scene. I feel like you have to

[25:11] practice that a little bit, because especially if it's a first date, you're not going to have your pace right,

[25:15] and it's just going to be super awkward. Somebody might slip.

[25:19] And it's hard to laugh and run at the same time. That's all about breath control.

[25:23] You've got to practice it. Dan, I assume your date, you guys were laughing and you ran into a doorway

[25:27] and you kind of put your collar up on your coat and then

[25:31] moved your coat around her shoulders to keep her dry, and then you started making out.

[25:35] You're eating pancakes in a fancy hotel. That's right.

[25:39] Mmm. Pancakes. Yeah, so we get to see

[25:43] two people who never eat pancakes or hamburgers eat those two things.

[25:47] I got a weird thrill of it. That's your sexual thing?

[25:51] Yeah, I guess it is sexual. Stewart has a weird fetish

[25:55] about people who are so in shape that they clearly don't eat what they want.

[25:59] Just losing control and pigging out. Yeah, exactly. I get way into it.

[26:03] Where Wes Bentley and Zach Efron were eating cake with their hands. I was going crazy.

[26:07] You didn't see me? Didn't you see what I was doing to myself?

[26:11] I was nuts. I'm glad I didn't see.

[26:15] So he sleeps with his mentor's girlfriend slash assistant.

[26:19] That's not going to be good. And his mentor finds out and gets mad and they have a fight in a strip club bathroom.

[26:23] His mentor's drunk anyway. Yep. His friend, meanwhile,

[26:27] is kind of drifting away from him a little bit.

[26:31] So he has lunch with his buddies and Squirrel says to him,

[26:35] Hey, I'm looking for new jobs. Are we ever going to be better than this?

[26:39] Are we ever going to be better than this? Meaning we've reached rock bottom.

[26:43] They really haven't. Things are pretty fine.

[26:47] When Wes Bentley reaches rock bottom, it's because he's drunk

[26:51] and eating a cake with his hands. But he's not even on the floor like David Hasselhoff.

[26:55] He's standing upright like a human. Like a homo erectus.

[26:59] His beard looks amazing. He doesn't even get the cake on his clothes.

[27:03] Maybe he just doesn't want to wash a fork.

[27:07] How do you guys eat cake? With your fucking bear paws.

[27:11] I blend it up in a blender and I suck it down with a straw.

[27:15] Yeah, but your jaws have been wired shut ever since the accident.

[27:19] Where I attacked Jaws, Richard Kiel.

[27:23] That's the irony of it. You bit Richard Kiel and he was like,

[27:27] I'm a maniac. Why are that thing shut?

[27:31] Kiel meant to the police.

[27:35] To his dentist. Because you bit him while he was in the dentist chair.

[27:39] That's how you got the drop on him. He had all that good Novocaine in him.

[27:43] Like a drug addicted vampire. Yeah, that's right. I'm sucking it out.

[27:47] At this point, things are

[27:51] rough for a hero who doesn't know where to turn. His bald friend, who is the

[27:55] volatile one. Mason. He says, hey guys, I rented

[27:59] a house for us all to live in. Guess what? We're all going to live together.

[28:03] It's got a huge pool. Let's throw a big party.

[28:07] Amazing party. Drugs, music, everything is amazing.

[28:11] They're having sex with girls. Girls are playing chicken in the pool of topless.

[28:15] A chicken was probably there in real life. That's how crazy it was. Like a John Waters movie.

[28:19] They wake up the next morning and they've all fallen asleep on the floor of the living room.

[28:23] Wait, wait, wait Elliot. So the end of that party,

[28:27] we're left with just our four heroes. Our four favorite dudes.

[28:31] They're chilling by the pool.

[28:35] The three musketeers plus D'Artagnan.

[28:39] SoCal chilled out laid back homies do a little bit of acapella

[28:43] Santeria by my favorite band Sublime.

[28:47] And then they go to sleep.

[28:51] And I'm like, oh my god, that's fucking four shadows.

[28:55] If I were a rich man.

[29:03] They're all spread out on a...

[29:07] Wait, which one is that? Is that the one that's like, I really want to know.

[29:11] Yeah, that's the one they're singing.

[29:15] I didn't love these characters. I never hated them as much as I hated the characters

[29:19] who say that awkward moment. Because these characters were genuinely

[29:23] losers who thought they were living in heaven. But the movie knows that they're losers.

[29:27] But when that moment, when they're all sitting at that pool singing

[29:31] Sublime, I would not have minded if LA was nuked at that moment.

[29:35] I don't care what collateral damage was necessary. How many friends of mine would have died?

[29:39] You just cut to Linda Hamilton.

[29:43] Just turn it into Bones.

[29:47] Just turn it into Bones.

[29:55] It's like one step removed from them being like, we're going to live forever!

[30:00] Of course, the next scene features three of our company of rascals waking up, and our

[30:06] fourth one, totally dead like the lead singer from Sublime.

[30:10] Oh yeah, I think that's why they did that.

[30:13] Yes!

[30:14] Of course that's why they did that!

[30:16] I don't think it was a clue for those watching.

[30:18] Yeah!

[30:19] So the movie stops at that point, and then someone comes out and they're like, alright,

[30:24] you have all the clues to put together what will happen.

[30:27] What's going to happen next?

[30:29] Let's run it down.

[30:31] Squirrel was never the strongest member of the group to begin with.

[30:35] That's A. B. He has revealed to Cole his desire for a better life and to leave the group.

[30:43] Hmm, big for your britches, eh?

[30:46] Your arms are too short to box with God, Squirrel, don't fly too close to the sun.

[30:51] C. Sublime.

[30:52] Ask, what do we remember about the band Sublime?

[30:57] Nuff said!

[30:58] It's Stan Lee, isn't it, in this?

[31:01] Well, true believers, as you may remember from ish 62 of We Are Your Friends.

[31:08] So, of course they wake up, Squirrel, they're like, hey Squirrel, what's going on, dude?

[31:14] Hey Squirrel, get up and chase some nuts, huh?

[31:17] Hey Squirrel, you're needed for that next Ice Age promo.

[31:21] So they shake him.

[31:22] Nope, he's like a grey Squirrel-sicle.

[31:25] Squirrel-sicle?

[31:26] Yeah, because he's cold.

[31:27] I guess.

[31:28] No, he's, uh, yeah.

[31:29] He's cold like the Seussicle.

[31:30] He's not cold.

[31:31] I thought it was like the Broadway show Seussicle.

[31:35] It's a musical featuring a dead squirrel.

[31:38] I don't know what he...

[31:42] The reviews were only slightly better than Seussicle.

[31:46] Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-burned!

[31:48] Seussicle has some okay moments.

[31:49] This show is nuts.

[31:51] Raves Dan McCoy of the Flophouse Theater Review.

[31:56] It's, you know, it's a musical starring a dead squirrel.

[31:59] It's like that Swiss Army Man movie.

[32:01] And talking about a movie that hasn't been widely released yet...

[32:05] Alright, I don't know that one.

[32:06] That's the Daniel Radcliffe farting corpse movie.

[32:10] Ohhhhhh.

[32:11] Ohhhhhhhhhhh.

[32:16] Rollercoaster.

[32:17] Peaks and Valleys.

[32:19] Speaking of Peaks and Valleys, Cole's really experienced a lot.

[32:22] And he's decided that...

[32:24] This is like our rock bottom moment.

[32:26] Oh, and he also, he's gone on a house call with his boss

[32:29] to a woman who has had her house foreclosed on, has a young son.

[32:32] She's a single mother, and has watched his boss tell her,

[32:36] here's what, you know what...

[32:38] Maybe he sees a little bit of himself in this young son character.

[32:41] Maybe, yeah.

[32:43] He said, you know what?

[32:44] Our company is supposed, in theory, helps you negotiate with the bank.

[32:48] We weren't able to do that.

[32:49] I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

[32:51] You sign the deed of your house over to our company.

[32:53] I'll give you $20,000 for it.

[32:55] She says, this house is worth $300,000.

[32:57] He goes, nah, that number, that's just numbers.

[32:59] It doesn't matter.

[33:00] It's not real.

[33:01] Here's $20,000.

[33:02] You know, what is money?

[33:03] Ohhhhhh.

[33:04] It's just something we agree has value.

[33:06] But really, what has value?

[33:08] Huh?

[33:09] It's like, here's the thing, man.

[33:11] Am I crazy, and everyone else is sane?

[33:14] Or am I the one sane man, and everyone else is crazy?

[33:16] When you say blue, and I say blue, how can we ever know we're seeing the same color?

[33:21] Sounds like an amazing scene.

[33:22] Are we just all brains in jars being fed stimuli from the outside?

[33:26] There's no way of knowing.

[33:28] I mean, here's the thing.

[33:29] Just sign right here, please.

[33:30] Thank you.

[33:31] And they walk out, and within earshot of the house, which I assume is sentient, he says,

[33:38] like, this is great.

[33:39] I'm going to sell this house for $500,000 or $600,000.

[33:42] And Cole is outraged.

[33:45] He's not happy about it.

[33:46] So anyway, he's been disillusioned on so many fronts by his artistic hero, by his business hero.

[33:51] And now, fast forward, after the party of a lifetime, even partying has let him down

[33:56] by killing one of his friends.

[33:57] Yeah.

[33:58] So there's nothing for him to do but to give up the life, I guess.

[34:02] By which I mean, work harder at being a DJ.

[34:06] And he's out jogging.

[34:08] Because all he has left to him is to maintain that sweet, sweet body of his.

[34:13] Yeah.

[34:14] Because he's jogging.

[34:15] It's the only time we ever see him exercise, which leads you to assume that he's jogging so hard

[34:19] that it affects his abs and his pecs as well, and his upper body.

[34:22] I mean, here's what's interesting about Zac Efron.

[34:24] It's called pec jogging.

[34:25] Pogging, they call it.

[34:27] It's weird because it was invented by the same guy who invented pogs, but that's a coincidence.

[34:31] The two are not related otherwise.

[34:33] Zac Efron, not — I don't think he's an amazing actor.

[34:37] He's not terrible.

[34:38] But he has maybe the most perfect body that a man has ever had in many ways.

[34:44] He's not so ripped that he looks like a monster.

[34:48] Like a Hulk Hogan.

[34:49] Like a Hulk Hogan or a Dan McCoy of the future.

[34:51] Yeah.

[34:52] And yet he's like just very well designed.

[34:57] Yeah, he's designed for living.

[34:59] Yeah.

[35:00] Yeah, he's built for speed.

[35:01] So I'll give him that.

[35:02] You know what, Zac Efron?

[35:03] I'll give you this.

[35:04] You're very handsome.

[35:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[35:06] And you take good care of yourself.

[35:07] So take that compliment.

[35:08] Put it in the compliment bank.

[35:09] Okay.

[35:10] It's probably already overflowing because you're pretty great, I guess.

[35:13] Whenever you're feeling bad, take it out and take a look at it.

[35:16] You know, Zac, if you're ever feeling –

[35:17] Take it for a spin.

[35:18] If you're ever rolling around in money with – having sex with the gender of your choice, I don't care which it is.

[35:23] Yeah.

[35:24] And you're feeling a little low down, just play that compliment.

[35:28] Yeah.

[35:29] And maybe, you know what?

[35:30] Take some of that money.

[35:31] Buy an H or a K to finish your name because right now you're spelling Z-A-C.

[35:35] That's not a full name.

[35:37] I mean, Zac is short for Zachary or maybe it's just the name Zac.

[35:40] But right now your name is just one letter short at least of a full name.

[35:45] Maybe that's why he's got such a great body.

[35:48] He feels insecure about his lacking name.

[35:51] His name is too short.

[35:53] Maybe.

[35:54] So he built up that body to compensate.

[35:56] Could be it.

[35:57] That's why Zac Galligan doesn't have to be ripped all the time because he has the comfort of knowing that he has a full man's name.

[36:06] That's right.

[36:07] I mean, but he is in great shape because he's always chasing gizmo all over the place.

[36:11] Yeah, that's the workout he fucking markets after Gremlins 2.

[36:15] Get a Mogwai.

[36:17] Let it loose or one after that.

[36:19] Get a Mogwai.

[36:20] Feed it after midnight.

[36:22] Yeah, fucking who cares?

[36:23] Some people are going to say don't do that.

[36:24] But if you want awesome pecs.

[36:27] If you want this body, feed it after midnight, get that shit wet.

[36:32] If you want to multiply like crazy.

[36:35] If you want to spend time with my friend Austin Pecs, he's my workout buddy.

[36:40] It's the snack club.

[36:41] Austin Pecs.

[36:42] Yeah.

[36:43] If you want to land yourself a real babe like Phoebe Cates, hear all her stories about how every holiday has bad memories attached to it, you're going to need to look good.

[36:51] And looking good means feeling bad because you've unleashed Gremlins on your town.

[36:56] But that's just the tradeoff.

[36:58] That's just the tradeoff.

[36:59] Let's talk to one satisfied customer.

[37:01] My name is Daniel Clamp, and I'm a millionaire played by John Glover.

[37:04] Sure.

[37:05] You know what?

[37:06] You build a place for things, things come.

[37:08] And then you can chase those things to get ripped.

[37:11] Thanks, Zach.

[37:12] Thank you, Daniel, played by John.

[37:14] That's a very meta commercial.

[37:19] So.

[37:20] High levels.

[37:21] Let's just fast forward to that.

[37:24] He makes up with Les Bentley.

[37:25] Les Bentley goes, hey, I asked you to open for me at Summerfest, which is that a real thing, Dan?

[37:30] You're pretty tapped into the EDM world.

[37:33] Yeah.

[37:34] There's got to be something called Summerfest because it's the most bland name in the world.

[37:37] He goes, you can still open.

[37:39] It might as well be called Musicfest.

[37:41] When's Summerfest again?

[37:43] Probably winter.

[37:45] Okay.

[37:46] It's hosted by Mark Summers.

[37:48] That's why it's called Summerfest.

[37:53] So he's jogging.

[37:55] He's jogging.

[37:58] And earlier, Wes Bentley had said to him, you're just using the same electronic sounds everybody else is using.

[38:03] You've got to use real sounds, real music.

[38:06] Stop doing this Game Boy stuff.

[38:07] And they record a track together as kind of a teaching by doing thing that involves Emily Rushmanowski saying some lines into a microphone that include the line, synchronicity is electricity, which is hilarious.

[38:20] Awesome.

[38:22] Zach Efron's jogging and his phone dies.

[38:25] Suddenly, he can't listen to his tunes while he's jogging.

[38:27] Oh, man.

[38:28] I guess I'll just push through this wall and just jog without my headphones.

[38:31] And suddenly, his ears are open to the world around him.

[38:35] And this is a moment where I'm going to talk about the theater in a second.

[38:39] When he hears a wind chime, he hears the buzz of electric wires, all that stuff, and inspires him to make a song out of it, which is a real artistic awakening.

[38:47] And I want to make fun of this scene more because it's cheesy.

[38:50] Yeah.

[38:51] At the same time, it rings true to me as an artistic statement that, like, if you want to be an artist, you have to engage with the world and not just with other works of art.

[39:00] And it reminds me of a much better version of the idea of noticing the world around you.

[39:06] There was a production of Our Town in New York a few years ago that David Cromer directed where –

[39:13] I'm going to turn my phone off for a little bit.

[39:16] If you guys are familiar with Our Town, there's no sets and no costumes.

[39:20] At the end of the play, one of the characters comes back from the afterlife to experience life, and the whole point is that there are all these things in life you don't notice until it's too late and you're dead.

[39:29] While you're alive, you're too caught up in the moment. You don't notice it.

[39:32] And so to represent that, for the first time in the whole play, there's a real set.

[39:37] There's real costumes, and one of the characters is actually cooking bacon on set, and you smell it.

[39:42] And it was like this amazing thing.

[39:44] Suddenly, the audience is noticing things they didn't notice because it didn't exist before.

[39:47] This is like that, and I want to –

[39:50] Oh, we're back to talking about that.

[39:52] It's not a great representation of that, but the meaning of it got to me enough.

[40:00] And I was like, okay, I see what you're doing here, Moody.

[40:01] So this is one of the...

[40:03] I mean, I think this is one of the many components of the movie that is...

[40:07] I mean, you mentioned before that it feels kind of honest and earnest.

[40:11] Yeah.

[40:12] But...

[40:12] It's like earnest goes to a rave.

[40:14] Exactly.

[40:17] I'll take these drugs, Vern.

[40:18] I'm glad.

[40:18] I just want to touch everything, Vern.

[40:19] You know what I mean?

[40:20] Let me just add earnest to the list of words I'm not allowed to say on this podcast.

[40:26] It's a long list.

[40:30] But...

[40:31] It's an earnest...

[40:32] It's a sincere movie for all that splash.

[40:35] And for the fact that it is super by the numbers and it is...

[40:39] And the fact that it has like the most cliched like pair of hero's journeys where he's both like,

[40:46] oh, I'm learning a little bit about a DJ.

[40:48] So I have that very obvious telegraph story and he's like...

[40:51] But also, man, the housing crash.

[40:53] Let's talk about that a little bit.

[40:55] And also, there's this girl.

[40:57] Uh-oh, she's got her issues too.

[40:59] But we really hit it off, you know?

[41:01] And we connect.

[41:02] So it's...

[41:03] So all like...

[41:05] But I mean, despite that, there are things that are worthwhile.

[41:09] Like, I think some of the directorial choices are kind of interesting.

[41:12] I don't mean to be jumping into final judgments here.

[41:14] But the...

[41:15] We didn't even finish the movie.

[41:16] Zac Efron plays a song at Summerfest and the audience loves it.

[41:18] Uh-huh.

[41:19] And he samples his friend Squirrel saying, are we ever going to be better than this?

[41:23] And he yells, are we ever going to be better than this?

[41:25] And the audience is like, yeah!

[41:26] And he's turned this plea, a pathetic plea out of despair for hope,

[41:32] into a statement of, this is the best it's ever going to get.

[41:35] Let's celebrate, you know?

[41:37] Yeah, they didn't even get it.

[41:38] Like, they didn't even realize the double meaning.

[41:40] Well, he's used art to transmute pain into joy.

[41:45] Yeah, the last time I saw a movie that did that...

[41:47] Movie Joy?

[41:49] Oh, boy.

[41:50] Yeah, it's a real mess, huh?

[41:51] The last time I saw a movie do that with a song was probably the end of

[41:55] Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, where they come back from the future and play

[41:59] Kisses, God Gave Her, I Could Roll With You.

[42:01] Sure, yeah.

[42:02] And I'm like, oh, that's the emotional climax that I was expecting

[42:05] in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey.

[42:06] Thank you.

[42:08] But you were saying, so you're saying it's more sincere.

[42:10] Let's Final Judgments it.

[42:11] Final Judgments, do-do-do-do.

[42:12] Is this a good, bad movie?

[42:13] Bad movie?

[42:13] Bad movie, I liked it.

[42:14] Like, for a movie about, like, four kind of douchey bros hanging out...

[42:18] Who are not instruments.

[42:19] They're not...

[42:21] They're less douchey than, say, the Entourage guys.

[42:24] I don't mean to, like, I guess that's damning to think, but...

[42:28] Less douchey than Entourage.

[42:30] Raves were relegated.

[42:33] Of the backhanded gazette.

[42:36] No, but I agree.

[42:37] Like, these are guys that, by all rights, I should have hated from moment one.

[42:41] And I really only hate them when they're seeing Sublime, and that's because I don't like Sublime.

[42:44] They're, like, there's a...

[42:46] They're not...

[42:47] It's by the numbers, and the characters are like, this is the hero, here's the hothead,

[42:52] here's the cool guy, here's the nerd.

[42:54] But there's a greater sense of groundedness to them.

[42:58] Like, here's Wes Studi, immediately he's drunk, so you know that guy...

[43:02] That's gonna be that guy's, like, heroic flaw.

[43:04] Yeah.

[43:05] He's a brilliant DJ, but he's a drinker.

[43:08] And at one point, he's like, you're young, you don't know what I'm carrying around.

[43:12] Never hinted at.

[43:13] I don't know if that's a good choice or not.

[43:14] It lets me fill it in.

[43:15] I assumed Wes Bentley was a veteran.

[43:17] But probably, he's just, like, some asshole.

[43:20] I don't know.

[43:21] You know, I like the...

[43:22] They want to leave stuff open for the sequel.

[43:24] But, and there's something, like, I'm torn in that I should hate these characters, but I don't.

[43:30] I shouldn't like how, like, flashing in your face the movie is, but it...

[43:33] Even though it never quite works, like...

[43:34] At least that makes it move fast.

[43:36] Yeah, and I'm glad that the director was trying for something.

[43:40] And at the end, also, it feels weird that a movie about young people and the importance of partying

[43:47] would end being like, hey, stay sober and study.

[43:52] Like, but that's...

[43:52] Like, I don't know why I'm mad at that, since that's a message I would much rather the movie be presenting.

[43:57] You know?

[43:58] I guess they did a similar thing in Trainspotting, but they did it better.

[44:02] So it doesn't feel like a cop-out or a sell-out at the end.

[44:06] You mean, like, the idea of, like, you know, don't pursue immediate pleasure.

[44:12] Look for, like, you know, work toward long-term goals?

[44:15] Is that what you're saying?

[44:16] Yeah, basically, yeah.

[44:17] Yeah, well, obviously, yeah, Trainspotting's a better movie.

[44:19] I mean, Trainspotting's a much better movie, but that's the other thing.

[44:22] I also...

[44:23] Trainspotting, like, got me to understand why you would do heroin, and also why it's a bad idea to do heroin.

[44:30] This movie still never got across to me why electronic dance music is worth listening to.

[44:33] It's funny that there's even a scene where Wes Studi is talking to him, and he's explaining how...

[44:37] Someone missed our explanation that it's Wes Bentley, and they're like,

[44:40] it's weird that they cast Wes Studi in this role.

[44:43] Not that Wes Bentley is that much more natural for it.

[44:45] And he's explaining to Zac Efron how Zac Efron's, like, track that he's working on

[44:50] is just a collection of him imitating other artists.

[44:54] And that's what this movie kind of feels like, is a collection of imitations of other directors.

[45:00] Yeah, that's a good point.

[45:00] Using traditional...

[45:02] Using, like, a traditional story structure.

[45:04] So it felt weirdly off for those.

[45:07] Yeah, that's a good...

[45:08] Actually, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

[45:10] It's someone who's absorbed a lot of Aronofsky, and, like, a little bit of Richard Linklater, and so forth.

[45:17] These final judgments aren't very judge-y.

[45:19] Oh, yeah.

[45:21] I don't know what falls in the category. It's not a good-bad movie.

[45:24] It's not bad-bad, but I didn't like it.

[45:26] I guess, you know what?

[45:27] I don't like it, but that's the category we would fall in more in that I...

[45:31] Damn it, I don't like you, but I respect you.

[45:33] Yeah.

[45:34] Not a good movie, but I don't hate you.

[45:36] I kind of like this movie.

[45:38] I just barely did, but I did, and that's why I feel like I've had a shitty podcast tonight,

[45:45] because I don't have a lot to say to make fun of it, because, like...

[45:48] I mean, let's not forget, also, that you got a cold, and you're tired, and no one likes you.

[45:52] Wait, what?

[45:53] Forget I said that last part.

[45:55] But don't really.

[45:57] Yeah, I think the cold has more to do with it, but, yeah, I enjoyed this movie a surprising amount,

[46:05] even though, you know, I don't typically like a movie about four douchebags in LA trying to make their way as DJs.

[46:13] I think if the movie knows these guys are douchebags, it makes all the difference.

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:17] Entourage thinks those guys are the greatest, most fun guys in the world.

[46:21] This movie knows that these are a bunch of low-rent douchebags who need to get their shit together.

[46:26] And, like, I'd rather...

[46:28] One of the things I don't like about movies...

[46:30] I said at the beginning of it, like...

[46:32] Say it like, right off the bat, I like these guys more than the heroes in, like, Knocked Up or something,

[46:38] because they're already trying for something.

[46:40] They're always hustling, yeah.

[46:41] Yeah, they have goals, even if they're dumb goals, and they're, like, a bunch of morons.

[46:46] It's like, at least they're actively trying to do a thing, and they're, yeah, hustling for success,

[46:52] as opposed to, like, hey, man, we love...

[46:54] Even their parties are more ambitious than, like, the parties I see in other movies.

[46:58] Yeah.

[46:59] And, I mean, there was nudity, and, like, in general, nobody wore that many clothes.

[47:06] That's true.

[47:06] If you're a woman in this movie, you're not wearing a lot of clothes.

[47:09] What are you going to do if there's not that many clothes?

[47:11] That's true.

[47:11] There's a point where the main female lead, whose last name I keep mangling,

[47:15] she's wearing a loose, low-cut shirt, and she's dancing in slow-mo,

[47:23] and there's just a close-up of her boobs while she's dancing in slow-mo.

[47:25] I think it's supposed to be that you're looking at her heart.

[47:27] Yeah.

[47:28] It's like, this is an entrapment movie.

[47:30] I know that's where I was looking before, but come on.

[47:33] This is not fair.

[47:35] Yeah, yeah, that's the funny games moment of the movie.

[47:39] Does this entertain you, Elliot?

[47:43] I got sucker-punched.

[47:46] All right.

[47:47] So, I guess...

[47:48] I mean, I guess it's...

[47:49] Yeah, it's hard to say it's a bad, bad movie.

[47:51] It's not a great movie, but I don't hate it.

[47:54] I'm going to say this movie wasn't really for me, but I appreciated some things about it.

[47:58] Going into it, I thought...

[47:59] I think my expectations were so low going into it.

[48:04] And it's also a movie that did so poorly in the box office

[48:07] that there is that initial desire to be like,

[48:10] let's take giant craps on this movie from Orbit.

[48:14] Yeah.

[48:15] But it's not like a hidden gem that I think needs to be...

[48:17] Oh, certainly not.

[48:18] ...uncovered.

[48:18] It's just like, it is what it is.

[48:21] It is what it is to me.

[48:25] TRENDS LIKE THESE

[48:30] Hello, Brent.

[48:31] Travis.

[48:32] Welcome to Trends Like These.

[48:34] What's Trends Like These, you ask?

[48:36] Well, it's a podcast where we take the news trending on the Internet

[48:40] and we cover it in podcast form.

[48:42] We go beyond the headlines, beyond the memes to bring you the real story

[48:46] so that when your friends bring it up, you can look real smart.

[48:49] We take things that need to be debunked and we debunk them.

[48:52] And then we take things that need to be re-bunked and we re-bunk them.

[48:56] We bring you all the details and we give you a spin on it.

[48:59] Our opinions, our thoughts,

[49:00] and we also try to dig up some positive things to talk about,

[49:03] so it's not all bummers.

[49:04] Just a couple of real-life friends talking Internet trends.

[49:08] So join us every Thursday on MaximumFun.org

[49:11] and wherever podcasts are found.

[49:23] But now...

[49:25] Before your very eyes...

[49:27] Uh-huh.

[49:28] We're going to do a transformation from a regular show into a commercial.

[49:33] Oh, wow.

[49:34] It's not the most exciting magic trick, but...

[49:36] Fucking seamless segue from seamless segue, Dan.

[49:39] Uh, no, the Flophouse has a couple of sponsors tonight.

[49:43] First off, the Flophouse is supported in part by Squarespace.

[49:48] Yeah!

[49:50] The simplest way to create a compelling website,

[49:52] from the strange to the downright bizarre,

[49:54] great stories define us.

[49:56] You should tell yours.

[49:57] With simple tools and templates, Squarespace...

[50:00] helps you to capture your story with a captivating website.

[50:04] If you want to start your free trial today, just visit squarespace.com

[50:08] slash flop. You should Squarespace.

[50:12] Now, Dan, I've got a question for you about this Squarespace. You usually do.

[50:16] Now, I understand that it can help me set up a website.

[50:20] I don't need to know how to code, right? No. And there's technical support?

[50:24] He still has 24-hour technical support. And I get a free trial if I use

[50:28] code, the password flop. I think anyone gets a free trial.

[50:32] What was the thing you just read? I didn't say anything.

[50:36] I said, you keep adding stuff to the thing that I don't know is

[50:40] necessarily true. Can I get a pony? You just read.

[50:44] Oh, yeah, I did read that. Start your free trial today.

[50:48] Listen to the words coming out of your mouth. So free trial today.

[50:52] I think our listeners probably know that you've had a string of very

[50:56] successful website ideas. Web ventures. And as a result, I'm a billionaire.

[51:00] You'd think I'd learn how to code. No need.

[51:04] Squarespace is so good, I don't need to know, and I'm still making a billion dollars.

[51:08] So I got a new idea for a website. I'm hoping Squarespace can help me with it.

[51:12] I think everybody's probably pausing the podcast, pulling out a notepad so they can write this information down.

[51:16] Don't steal my idea. Come on, guys. They haven't unpaused it yet.

[51:20] Don't steal it, guys.

[51:24] It's called PandaParty.com.

[51:28] You guys like parties, right?

[51:32] The movie we just watched is all about parties.

[51:36] You like pandas, right? They're adorable.

[51:40] They only eat bamboo so you know they're picky.

[51:44] I would say that's not true.

[51:48] But still, we can go with that. They're very rare.

[51:52] They're beautiful. They only eat bamboo so you know they've got good taste.

[51:56] And they are very hard to mate with.

[52:00] Who wouldn't want a panda, a real-life panda, at your party?

[52:04] So what PandaParty.com does is you can order

[52:08] a panda to show up at your party.

[52:12] The animal panda or a man in a panda suit.

[52:16] Or a different bear of equal or lesser value.

[52:20] It's not just pandas at PandaParty.com.

[52:24] They go to your party. You've got to provide food for them.

[52:28] You've got to give them a place to go to the bathroom.

[52:32] Make sure you've got bamboo.

[52:36] Are there other pandas at the party?

[52:40] These pandas were other bears.

[52:44] Very emotionally unstable.

[52:48] It's got sort of a free song.

[52:52] Let me tell you this. You're going to know that Squirrel's dead the next day.

[52:56] Because he's going to have panda claw marks all over his body.

[53:00] Maybe one half is on that side of the room and the other half is on the other side of the room.

[53:04] He's going to have a smile on his face.

[53:08] I need a place I can set up this website where I don't need to know how to code.

[53:12] I can get a free trial. Can it scale between an iPad and a laptop?

[53:16] Or a mobile phone?

[53:20] You know it, dude.

[53:24] From Full House.

[53:28] The Central American bootleg Full House.

[53:32] You know it, dude.

[53:36] Cut that out.

[53:40] Kami Gobbler.

[53:44] Have pity.

[53:48] How impolite of you.

[53:52] I'm going to go to my work at the daytime morning show.

[53:56] Get out of bed, San Fernando.

[54:00] Instead of wake up San Francisco.

[54:04] And now, the beach bugs.

[54:08] It's a police circus.

[54:12] The guy who's running this party is going to love it if I send a panda.

[54:16] I want you to be able to order it from your phone, like an Uber car.

[54:20] The car shows up with a panda in it.

[54:24] Or if you show up to a party and it's fucking Deadsville and you're like, I need to inject a little bit of pee into this pee.

[54:28] This pee doesn't have enough pee, if you know what I mean.

[54:32] Sometimes I shut down words a little too – I truncate words too quickly.

[54:36] And it just leads to confusion, but I'm glad that you picked up on what I was drawing.

[54:40] You said this party needs a panda or bear of equal or lesser value.

[54:44] Almost always lesser. Panda is the priceless bear.

[54:48] Squarespace will be able to help me with this.

[54:52] Squarespace has all those amazing functions. I can get this site up.

[54:56] I don't need to worry about the site working. I just need to worry about how I'm going to get this bear.

[55:00] Yeah, I think that's the most important thing that you haven't really figured out in this whole adventure.

[55:04] Here's the plan. One, I set up the site with Squarespace. It's easy. I've got a free trial.

[55:08] Just three, have people order those bears for their parties.

[55:12] Yeah, I mean it's only three steps unlike Dan's, what, 20-step process?

[55:16] To becoming the Hulk.

[55:20] If we just build it beautiful, we can wrap this thing up.

[55:24] It's not their slogan anymore. You should Squarespace, and I know I will.

[55:28] We're also sponsored this week by Mack Weldon.

[55:32] That sounds like a detective.

[55:36] I've been part of Mack Weldon.

[55:40] Mack Weldon is a lovely clothing store.

[55:44] Their products are designed to be the most comfortable underwear,

[55:48] socks, shirts, undershirts, hoodies, and sweatpants you will ever wear.

[55:52] All of their products are naturally antimicrobial,

[55:56] which means that they eliminate odor.

[56:00] Yeah, so if you want the man in your life, which could include you, the listener,

[56:04] to be less stinky.

[56:08] Not so much that stank.

[56:12] The only stanky thing we want are the riffs on this Def Leppard song you're listening to.

[56:16] Guys, I know you're probably interested in this. We didn't have our usual underpants checked before the podcast.

[56:20] We checked to make sure everybody's underpants were. I'm wearing Mack Weldon underwear right now.

[56:24] What? It's very comfortable, and today was hot in the city.

[56:28] And you're a very confident gentleman, and I think that's all coming from right down in those pants.

[56:32] I mean, the fact that I, a very sweaty person,

[56:36] am comfortable and scent-free.

[56:40] It's because you're covered in a fine layer of wolverine-style hair.

[56:44] We don't need to get into that, as true as it is.

[56:48] And fine is not quite the right word. Coarse and burly.

[56:52] Like a thick thorn huckleberry bush.

[56:56] But since I'm wearing my Mack Weldons, I don't have anything to worry about.

[57:00] It's very comfortable.

[57:04] Speaking of confidence, Mack Weldon is very confident,

[57:08] because they want you to be comfortable. So if you don't like your first pair,

[57:12] you can keep it, and they will refund you, no question asked.

[57:16] That's right. Keep the underwear you don't like. Send it to me.

[57:20] It is very good underwear, though. You're going to like it.

[57:24] And the undershirts also are very good.

[57:28] I'm already loading.

[57:36] So if you're ever looking at a section

[57:40] on a website like Mack Weldon or Squarespace, who are both great,

[57:44] and you're thinking, I want to see if I can get a deal, just punch in Flop.

[57:48] Just try it. I know it works with Mack Weldon and Squarespace.

[57:52] Now here's the one thing I don't like about Mack Weldon. One minor flaw.

[57:56] If it's on the waistband of the underpants, it says,

[58:00] for daily wear or for daily use, I know how often I should wear underwear.

[58:04] Okay, so you think it's patronizing. I don't need you to tell me that, Mack Weldon.

[58:08] But otherwise, wonderful product. So when you put it on, just close your eyes

[58:12] so you don't see that patronizing slogan, and you'll just enjoy it all day.

[58:16] Yeah, so you don't scare yourself by looking at your own underwear.

[58:20] Is that a scary thing? Sometimes.

[58:24] What's it up to?

[58:28] What's it up to? Like it's plotting something?

[58:32] Hey, you know, things got a mind of its own. That's actually a fallacy.

[58:36] You know what I'm talking about? Oh, fuck off with that shit.

[58:40] Get it? Yeah, I do.

[58:44] Do you have any other messages or sponsors?

[58:48] That's all we have for sponsors this week.

[58:52] What's the next part of this podcast?

[58:56] I'm not wearing Squarespace on my butt right now, but if I was, it would be really good.

[59:00] The next part is letters, although I moved a bunch of letters into...

[59:04] Oh, here they are. I couldn't find them for a second.

[59:08] I have them on my phone, and I couldn't find them.

[59:12] You don't have to beat me, Michael. You just have to keep up.

[59:16] So this first letter is from David, last name withheld.

[59:20] Is it my brother? It's not your brother.

[59:24] Or is it David from Lost Boys, the character I was just doing?

[59:28] He writes, in the years I have listened to the podcast, I always incorrectly presumed

[59:32] the wretched film that Dan and Elliot deemed as the archetype of a bad film was

[59:36] I Love Trouble with Nick Nolte and Julia Roberts.

[59:40] I mean, Trouble was in the title. It was a bad 90s film, and it starred marquee actors of the era.

[59:44] I had no idea that nothing but Trouble was the film they were talking about.

[59:48] Though curiously, I had seen this film, and it has literally permeated

[59:52] my nightmares for decades. To this day, I will

[59:56] occasionally have nightmares with this film's house to the setting.

[1:00:00] 11 or 12, and extremely sick, high fever, puking, etc.

[1:00:03] For years after...

[1:00:04] It's probably actually the most pleasant way to watch the movie, because we have constant

[1:00:08] distractions from the movie.

[1:00:09] For the years after, the house of this film, the junkyard, the creepy tenants, yes, including

[1:00:14] the twins, the basement below the courthouse, the bone stripper, have all shown up in various

[1:00:18] nightmares I've had.

[1:00:19] Until the 200th podcast, I had assumed it was merely an amalgamation of my worst fears,

[1:00:25] death traps, monstrous small-town humanoids, dank crawl spaces, and it has been central

[1:00:31] to a small portion of my scarier, darker dreams.

[1:00:34] I've actually had waking rational thoughts to determine whether this was a film or TV

[1:00:37] show I saw but forgot, but because the foundation of it was massive enough to support the creation

[1:00:43] of a whole sinister dreamscape, each time I'd come to the conclusion that I would have

[1:00:47] some real-world artifacts reference if something like this existed.

[1:00:51] I've never seen anything online or in the real world to prove that this is a real piece

[1:00:55] of media in the 25-plus years since this film was released on VHS.

[1:00:59] I find that very hard to believe.

[1:01:01] I don't know about that.

[1:01:03] You know, we go to, like, a Spencer's Gifts and see the posters and the greeting cards

[1:01:08] and the t-shirts.

[1:01:09] I mean, we live in a universe now where all you have to do is type in the title of a thing

[1:01:13] into your magic information-finding box, and it'll connect you to it.

[1:01:19] Yeah, but he...

[1:01:20] Although, to be fair, there's a kid's book I remember from when I was a kid that was

[1:01:24] in the library called Mutants that was really scary-looking, and I have yet to find it anywhere.

[1:01:30] So, before we cut off that letter, what else does it say?

[1:01:33] There's not much else.

[1:01:34] I...

[1:01:35] Wow.

[1:01:36] I apologize.

[1:01:37] I didn't mean to shut that letter down.

[1:01:38] No, no.

[1:01:39] I wanted to read that letter because it was representative of a larger type of letter,

[1:01:43] a larger group of letters we got, which was a whole slew of people saying that they had

[1:01:49] thought that this book was a fever dream that they had had, you know, and they didn't

[1:01:54] believe it.

[1:01:55] That was a fever dream Dan Antler had.

[1:01:56] It helped people exorcise those demons, I hope.

[1:01:59] That's right.

[1:02:00] Yeah.

[1:02:01] It's funny that you remember the name of the creepy book you saw.

[1:02:07] Like, I remember as a kid, I remember going into my parents' bedroom where they were watching

[1:02:13] The Shining, and it was just the scene with the two twin girls that, you know, come play

[1:02:18] with us.

[1:02:19] And I didn't know what that was for years, but I was fucking terrified of it.

[1:02:24] And then I obviously saw The Shining at some point, and I was like, what a terrible adaptation

[1:02:30] of the book.

[1:02:31] Stephen King was right.

[1:02:32] His miniseries is so much better.

[1:02:34] Yep.

[1:02:35] This is about the moon landing.

[1:02:38] Or Native Americans.

[1:02:41] That's similar.

[1:02:42] There's a Julie Taymor movie called Fool's Fire that I had a similar experience with

[1:02:46] where I stumbled upon it on PBS, and it was so weird that I was like, I can't watch this

[1:02:52] whole thing.

[1:02:53] And for a long time I couldn't find what it was.

[1:02:56] And now I know it was basically an adaptation of Hot Frog.

[1:03:00] Yeah.

[1:03:01] And I didn't know who Julie Taymor was.

[1:03:03] Lion King had yet to hit Broadway.

[1:03:05] Yeah.

[1:03:06] Nobody knew.

[1:03:07] She had yet to revitalize the Lion King and destroy Spider-Man.

[1:03:12] Yeah, I remember watching that as a kid, too, and I had no idea that it was a Julie Taymor

[1:03:17] thing until you, I think, told me later.

[1:03:21] Like, I had always sort of conflated it in my mind with the Jim Henson Storyteller series.

[1:03:27] It looks like a crazier version of that.

[1:03:29] Yeah.

[1:03:32] So I guess we're recommending Hot Frog as an adaptation of the same?

[1:03:36] Two solid adaptations in Fool's Fire and The Mask of the Red Death, the Roger Corman version.

[1:03:42] So...

[1:03:43] It doesn't count as my recommendation for today.

[1:03:45] I have another one.

[1:03:46] No, it's okay.

[1:03:49] This next letter is from Benjamin Lastname withheld, who writes...

[1:03:54] I don't know, I'm aging backwards.

[1:03:55] Backwards.

[1:03:56] Backwards.

[1:03:57] To a lot of people.

[1:03:58] I'm a film archivist, and during a summer job that had me cataloging over 735mm trailers,

[1:04:05] I came across one for 40 days and 40 nights.

[1:04:07] Wait, a 735mm trailer? That's enormous!

[1:04:14] Stuart will be very disappointed to know that, yes, this trailer is now being preserved in a temperature and humidity controlled vault...

[1:04:20] Burn that!

[1:04:21] ...at University, name withheld.

[1:04:23] This got me thinking.

[1:04:24] What indefensibly bad movies would you like to see preserved for future generations?

[1:04:28] Benjamin Lastname withheld.

[1:04:30] I'd like to see all movies preserved, because you never know what's going to be rediscovered or have a new context in the future.

[1:04:39] I'd rather err on the side of preserving all the junk than risk losing any of the good stuff.

[1:04:43] I guess that's fair.

[1:04:46] Today's trash is tomorrow's treasure, is the name of my antique store.

[1:04:52] It's a real mouthful of a name.

[1:04:54] It's not a successful store.

[1:04:57] I don't know. I still don't think 40 days and 40 nights should be preserved, because it's garbage.

[1:05:02] It should be scoured from the earth.

[1:05:05] And then the earth salted.

[1:05:08] Really, the whole earth?

[1:05:09] Yes.

[1:05:10] It's delicious.

[1:05:11] Salted earth.

[1:05:13] It's like living on a big pretzel.

[1:05:14] Yeah.

[1:05:16] Well, that saddens me greatly.

[1:05:19] I'm assuming the trailer doesn't feature the weird rape scene at the end of the movie.

[1:05:24] Probably not.

[1:05:26] I'm sure it features.

[1:05:27] Or when she throws rose petals on her.

[1:05:29] Oh, yeah, that scene.

[1:05:31] Or I'm sure it focuses on the comedy stylings of Shannon Sossamon and Paolo Castanzo.

[1:05:38] So, Dan, what bad movie would you like preserved?

[1:05:41] Let's say Heart Ticket to Hawaii.

[1:05:43] I thought it would be a Sedaris film.

[1:05:46] I was going to say one of the Andy Sedaris movies, right?

[1:05:49] He's a true auteur.

[1:05:50] He has things that he likes.

[1:05:51] He likes big guns, and he likes big bazooms on former Playboy models.

[1:05:57] I saw for a moment Dan was about to say boobs and was looking for, I guess, what, a classier word?

[1:06:03] I was looking for something that would upset people to hear more.

[1:06:06] I could see them almost like the Wheel of Fortune.

[1:06:09] The Wheel of Fortune.

[1:06:10] This wheel with its head going tick, tick, tick, with different words for boobs on it.

[1:06:13] And then it reached bazooms.

[1:06:14] I mean, they're all horrible.

[1:06:15] There's no good word for boobs other than breasts.

[1:06:18] Breasts, Dan.

[1:06:19] Breasts.

[1:06:20] That's what I was saying.

[1:06:21] Other than breasts.

[1:06:22] You know, flapjacks?

[1:06:23] No, stop right there.

[1:06:25] Let's not go down this road.

[1:06:27] Stop it.

[1:06:28] We're not going there.

[1:06:29] If I could shake a bottle full of change like you're a dog barking and I'm trying to get to stop, I would do that right now.

[1:06:35] Squirt you with a water bottle like a cat on a couch.

[1:06:40] I would say Birdemic.

[1:06:43] Oh, yeah.

[1:06:45] Yeah.

[1:06:46] If only so I can watch it in the future and relive the night I attended its New York premiere.

[1:06:51] And what celebrities did you see at that premiere?

[1:06:53] The stars of Birdemic.

[1:06:55] And no one else.

[1:06:56] The male star was not.

[1:06:58] I saw Ethan Hawke on stage.

[1:07:00] I saw so many times.

[1:07:02] I don't know how I did it.

[1:07:03] The male star was so stoked.

[1:07:05] And the female star realized why everyone was there.

[1:07:08] And they all said something before the movie.

[1:07:11] She said, just enjoy it for what it is, okay?

[1:07:13] And it made me sad for a moment.

[1:07:15] Like, oh, one of the people here understands that we're here to make fun of it.

[1:07:18] Yeah.

[1:07:19] Stewart, you want to say?

[1:07:20] I don't know.

[1:07:21] It's tough.

[1:07:23] Maybe something like Ricky O's story of Ricky, which is clearly a goofy movie.

[1:07:29] No, no.

[1:07:30] A goofy movie is about Goofy connecting with his son.

[1:07:32] It does not involve someone being strangled by their own intestines.

[1:07:37] Wait a minute.

[1:07:38] If your nephews are like, can we rent a goofy movie?

[1:07:41] Yeah, of course, Ricky O.

[1:07:43] I opened up the Ricky O. box, and it was a movie full of the character Goofy doing stuff with, I guess, his family.

[1:07:51] He's a single dad with a son.

[1:07:53] But, yeah, I think you may have gotten the videos swapped.

[1:07:56] Yeah.

[1:07:59] Video swapped.

[1:08:01] There's a letter here from Daniel, last name withheld, that's too long to go through entirely.

[1:08:08] Okay.

[1:08:09] Read us some excerpts.

[1:08:10] It makes a good case for the fact that Valfinvania is actually in Pennsylvania and not New Jersey.

[1:08:16] Okay.

[1:08:17] I don't know why they drove through Pennsylvania to get from New York City to Atlanta City.

[1:08:21] There's an establishing shot that's not of the Golden Dome, New Jersey capital, but the Green Copperclap, Pennsylvania capital.

[1:08:28] The turnpike travels close to the Pennsylvania border.

[1:08:35] I mean, it explains the mines.

[1:08:37] Yeah, exactly.

[1:08:38] Pennsylvania's coal country.

[1:08:41] Chevy Chase's character states that they're the Jerseyvania Triangle.

[1:08:45] The judge refers to the Commonwealth.

[1:08:48] I wonder if Daniel, the author of this letter, is from New Jersey and is trying to distance his state.

[1:08:54] I wonder if this is one Daniel Ackroyd.

[1:08:57] I have a little bit of inside knowledge about the conception of the film.

[1:09:02] If I'm right, just send some Crystal Skull vodka to my house.

[1:09:05] Can't be Roger Ackroyd because that guy's been murdered.

[1:09:08] Round up all the suspects.

[1:09:10] Get the Red Herrings in here.

[1:09:12] That's a band.

[1:09:14] Yeah.

[1:09:15] They actually don't play their own instruments.

[1:09:18] You zooming through the memes?

[1:09:20] Dan, you're really reading that letter.

[1:09:22] Sorry.

[1:09:23] It's scintillating.

[1:09:24] This is stimulating audio.

[1:09:26] So this is a long letter if you've been scrolling all this time.

[1:09:29] Yeah.

[1:09:30] The last letter's from Jasmine, last name with L, who writes,

[1:09:34] Dear Original Peaches, as I've been listening to your extensive archive of episodes,

[1:09:38] I've noticed something about many of the letters you've received from your male fans.

[1:09:41] Sure.

[1:09:42] There appears to be a plethora of men who have wives or female partners who are not a fan of you three bozos.

[1:09:48] Yeah, I'm married to one.

[1:09:51] My wife is not a fan of us three bozos.

[1:09:54] Whether it's because they're schemed out by your pervy inclinations

[1:09:57] or are simply cold-hearted monsters,

[1:09:59] the type of nagging,

[1:10:00] wife stereotypes that Kevin James constantly finds himself married to.

[1:10:04] I would say there can be a disagreement over taste between spouses.

[1:10:08] I'm not sure. Obviously, this is not fully representative of your fan base

[1:10:12] as your looks alone receive plenty of attention from the lady folk.

[1:10:16] Well, well, well. However... Slipping in a little compliment. Thank you, Jasmine.

[1:10:20] I can't remember a letter that you have read on air where it's a lady writing that her

[1:10:24] male partner was not immediately taken with your charms. For the sake of gender equality,

[1:10:28] allow me to remedy this oversight for you. When I first became enamored

[1:10:32] with your podcast, I wanted to talk about it constantly with anyone who would listen.

[1:10:36] Specifically, I shared my enthusiasm time and again with my fiancé. When I finally got him

[1:10:40] to listen to an episode with me, I believe it was the

[1:10:44] Robocop episode, expectations were set exceedingly high.

[1:10:48] As we listened, I became troubled by the fact that I was laughing repeatedly while his laughter was

[1:10:52] more sporadic. He then began saying multiple times during your witty

[1:10:56] back-and-forth relating to words that sound like other words.

[1:11:00] Okay, guys, we get it. Let's move on.

[1:11:04] We can't hear you. We're going to keep doing what we want to do.

[1:11:08] Drawing impatient that you decided to continue with your tangent instead of, say, continuing to describe the plot in a linear fashion.

[1:11:12] Come on, let's keep going. You're running this joke into the ground, he would say, to my shock and disgust.

[1:11:16] I mean, he's got our number. We do that.

[1:11:20] When Elliot started singing his letter song, he groaned louder than I've ever heard

[1:11:24] Stewart Dan groan, appearing to be in physical pain, verbally saying,

[1:11:28] stop, multiple times. After it was over, he said that it was, quote, pretty funny.

[1:11:42] However, do not fret. We are still together, and over time, he has learned to appreciate the flop-outs

[1:11:46] to an acceptable degree. He is delighted and entertained by Elliot's

[1:11:50] singing with dance and patience and frustration with constantly being interrupted

[1:11:54] and the way that Stu does not give a fuck that he's not in the entertainment business

[1:11:58] and the house cat's in-your-face attitude.

[1:12:02] He's a totally rude dude with attitude.

[1:12:06] While he has not fully crossed over to the level of passion for the flop-outs that I share,

[1:12:10] sometimes showing a look of worry when I share with him yet another dream I have had that involved one of you,

[1:12:14] usually Diana, if I'm being honest, or as more and more members of the flop-outs Facebook group

[1:12:18] and my real Facebook friends, I think you'll want him over.

[1:12:22] There's something about Dan's voice that lulls you to sleep. He's like the Morpheus of our podcast.

[1:12:26] When he meets people in the sewer and offers them a choice of pill.

[1:12:30] Which brings me to my semi-related question.

[1:12:34] Has there ever been a time when your enthusiasm for something has been so great

[1:12:38] that it actually turns someone off to the thing you were recommending to them?

[1:12:42] Sure, many times.

[1:12:46] I read The Power Broker by Robert Caro.

[1:12:50] One of my favorite books, my favorite non-fiction book.

[1:12:54] I think I have ensured a number of people will never read it with my fervor and trying to push it on them.

[1:12:58] But I read it because of you.

[1:13:02] Look, you were one of my few successes and I appreciate that.

[1:13:06] I read all 1,200 pages of it.

[1:13:10] It's barely more than 1,100 pages long.

[1:13:14] I tend to be on the other side of things.

[1:13:18] If someone talks something up to me too much,

[1:13:22] I don't want to watch it.

[1:13:26] Yeah, that happens to me too. That's why I still don't watch Community.

[1:13:30] And you also have a tendency to undersell things.

[1:13:34] Yeah, I do. I'm going to undersell my recommendations.

[1:13:38] What about you, Stuart?

[1:13:42] Game of Thrones?

[1:13:46] Game of Thrones, yeah, that's part of it. I get way too worked up to that stuff.

[1:13:50] I get really worked up talking about Game of Thrones, so that's probably something.

[1:13:54] Yeah, of course the books.

[1:14:02] One of my big hobbies, of course, is playing role-playing games and stuff like that.

[1:14:06] And I'm sure that I have had many conversations with people

[1:14:10] who are not gamers and tried to sell somebody on

[1:14:14] a card game or a board game.

[1:14:18] And, of course, that conversation was the last time we ever talked about that thing.

[1:14:22] I was like, oh, you've got to play Netrunner. It's the best game ever.

[1:14:26] And we'd talk about it for, I don't know, 20, 30 minutes

[1:14:30] while their response would become less often and shorter.

[1:14:34] And then, of course, it is never mentioned again.

[1:14:38] Yeah, excited.

[1:14:42] Yeah, so sometimes I'm enthusiastic about those things.

[1:14:46] I am getting noticeably sicker the longer we podcast.

[1:14:50] The podcast is killing you, Stuart.

[1:14:54] It's like a reverse podcast of Dorian Gray.

[1:14:58] So we should probably move on to the next...

[1:15:02] You've done it now, Stuart.

[1:15:06] You've started all over.

[1:15:10] We watch Stealth if we're starting it all the way.

[1:15:14] I've got to get Simon back here.

[1:15:18] I don't think Slimer would be up for that.

[1:15:22] Next part of this podcast, Dan, is your favorite part.

[1:15:26] It's where we recommend movies we've watched on a plane.

[1:15:30] I'll go first because I tease

[1:15:34] how little I'm going to recommend these movies.

[1:15:38] So you should be the anchor and pull up the rear, or do you want to go first?

[1:15:42] No, I'm going to go first.

[1:15:46] We start low, and then we move to crescendo, like a good EDM song.

[1:15:50] But then there's a drop.

[1:15:54] It can be the intro or the drop.

[1:15:58] The drop is the moment of tension before the exciting part comes in.

[1:16:02] Yeah, that's where you peak and then you back off.

[1:16:06] That's also what they did in Porky's.

[1:16:10] They peaked and then they backed off.

[1:16:14] If only they'd kept backing.

[1:16:18] I saw two movies that are like

[1:16:22] solid two and a half, three star movies.

[1:16:26] I enjoyed both of them.

[1:16:30] I'm just setting expectations appropriately.

[1:16:34] One of them was called

[1:16:38] In the Blood, and the other one was called Krampus.

[1:16:42] Even the way you said the title

[1:16:46] looks like you're disappointed in it.

[1:16:50] In the Blood is a movie starring Tina Carano, the MMA fighter you may remember from Haywire.

[1:16:54] Yeah, that was a fun movie.

[1:16:58] And this movie is not directed by Steven Soderbergh.

[1:17:02] It's a slightly less critically acclaimed director.

[1:17:06] The guy who made Blue Crush and Trista's.

[1:17:10] Oh, and it features Flauhaus' favorite Cam Gajande.

[1:17:14] Yeah, Cam Gajande is in it.

[1:17:18] As well as Louis Guzman.

[1:17:22] And Danny Trejo.

[1:17:26] Does he play his popular character badass?

[1:17:34] Except in that one movie where Maggie Gyllenhaal

[1:17:38] is a recovering drug addict.

[1:17:42] The movie is basically one of those frantic

[1:17:46] knockoffs where a couple goes to another country

[1:17:50] and one of them disappears and the other one has to

[1:17:54] figure out where they've gone to and why the whole country

[1:17:58] seems to be in a weird conspiracy against

[1:18:02] him or her to find their loved one.

[1:18:06] And so it's hilariously xenophobic.

[1:18:10] It's a movie where it looks like Americans going anywhere

[1:18:14] are going to get into trouble and be attacked by a foreigner.

[1:18:18] It's a little China. You're going to find trouble there. Big trouble.

[1:18:22] And might as well just go visit local places.

[1:18:26] Yeah, go somewhere in this big country.

[1:18:30] Visit your local library. Then you can travel anywhere you want, dude.

[1:18:34] Butterfly in the sky. I can fly to places high.

[1:18:38] Okay, you're still sick, dude.

[1:18:42] I admire Dan's ambition.

[1:18:46] But there's also a point

[1:18:50] in the movie where it seems like Gina Carano just sort of gives up on being

[1:18:54] a normal human being trying to find her husband and starts just murdering her way

[1:18:58] through the island. So I like that.

[1:19:02] And Krampus is a movie that was written and directed

[1:19:06] by the guy who did Trick or Treat, which was a movie that I enjoyed

[1:19:10] quite a lot. You would call that movie a treat.

[1:19:14] It's not as good as that movie, but it is a

[1:19:18] Christmas time horror comedy

[1:19:22] trying to be in the vein of an

[1:19:26] Amblin movie from the past. It's got that same sort of tone

[1:19:30] except for it's a little more disturbing. For a PG-13 movie

[1:19:34] it has some pretty frightening character designs.

[1:19:38] I would say that the main problem with it is it's not quite as funny

[1:19:42] as it should be for a horror comedy and it never quite makes me

[1:19:46] care enough about the characters to really be scared.

[1:19:50] Okay, so it fails on the two main counts of a horror comedy.

[1:19:54] But the light tone is still a lot of fun and I like seeing

[1:19:58] Adam Scott.

[1:20:00] that kind of movie just as I like to see him in Piranha. Like this is

[1:20:06] part of his duology with Piranha where he like is in a horror comedy where he

[1:20:11] takes a shotgun and blasts things. So those are my two recommendations.

[1:20:17] That's probably how they pitched him the movie. Yeah. I guess I mean I'm gonna keep my

[1:20:23] first recommendation super short. I went and saw Captain America Civil War. It was really

[1:20:28] great, really satisfying. I was listening to a show where folks were complaining

[1:20:34] about how there's too many superhero movies and I kind of agree with that but

[1:20:38] at the same time like one of the most common complaints is the idea that you

[1:20:42] have to like it's hard to keep track of all these characters and I don't find

[1:20:48] the idea of like entertainment that requires more out of you as an audience

[1:20:52] to be the downside. Like I can understand the idea of it being like silly and

[1:20:57] popcorn. That makes sense. Like somebody finds like the idea of superhero movies

[1:21:01] to be silly and fluff. They might be saying they don't want to have to put that much

[1:21:04] effort in to enjoy a piece of popcorn fluff. Mm-hmm. Well I think that Captain

[1:21:10] America Civil War is worth the effort. But I was also I was mainly going to

[1:21:15] recommend a movie called The 13th Warrior directed by John McTiernan. I finally

[1:21:21] watched it. This is going to mark the absolute last time that I agree to watch

[1:21:26] a movie by a listener recommendation because I got a lot of pressure. I got a

[1:21:32] lot of pressure beat on me and I don't got time for that bro. I got a lot of Dark

[1:21:38] Souls to play the last couple weeks and it so I've never seen this movie and

[1:21:43] it's right up my alley. It's a like a... The one with Antonio Banderas? Exactly.

[1:21:49] I'm guessing I'm more? You want more of him. Yeah. He leaves you wanting just that.

[1:21:56] Where Antonio Banderas plays a former advisor of a Middle Eastern nation in

[1:22:04] the Middle Ages, Dark Ages, and he is exiled basically and he teams up with

[1:22:12] Omar Sharif which was great and they are sent on like an ambassador mission

[1:22:18] to meet with some like Nordic Viking dudes and he ends up getting wrapped up

[1:22:24] in an adventure where these 13 warriors have to go to the north and kill some

[1:22:30] kind of strange evil and save a king and it has a lot of fun touches. It's bloodier

[1:22:40] than I initially expected it to be which is something that you don't quite

[1:22:44] see like and it's almost all practical because this came out years and years

[1:22:48] ago and it's got a bunch of great English and Scandinavian actors and

[1:22:56] there's some fun moments and it's yeah it's a pretty decent little action

[1:23:02] adventure movie. I am going to go to possibly the farthest end of the

[1:23:07] filmmaking spectrum from that one. I'm going to recommend a documentary from

[1:23:13] 1967 directed by Shirley Clarke called Portrait of Jason which is a hockey

[1:23:20] mask. Yeah it's about a key some kind of death

[1:23:23] elemental and it's the entire movie is one man this guy calls himself Jason

[1:23:29] Holiday who is a kind of as you as you find out through the movie a kind of

[1:23:37] jack-of-all-trades slash male hustler who wants to be a cabaret performer and

[1:23:42] he is black and gay at a time when it was very difficult to be either of those

[1:23:47] things and even more difficult to be both of them and it is him telling

[1:23:53] stories of his version of his life as he is kind of egged on by the people making

[1:23:59] the film from off-camera and the way they shot it was that they literally

[1:24:03] from 9 p.m. until 9 a.m. of one night they got him increasingly drunk

[1:24:09] throughout the night and had him dig deeper and deeper into his life and it

[1:24:13] raises these real questions of like how much performing is being got this is

[1:24:18] going on both in his everyday life and in his attempts to create a persona for

[1:24:23] himself and in how the movie is presenting him there are a couple

[1:24:26] moments where the movie is reminding you this is edited and this is has been

[1:24:30] manipulated you think you're seeing truth but how can you know you're seeing

[1:24:34] truth and how how much is this person complicit with putting themselves on

[1:24:40] display and how much they be exploited it's a very like uncomfortable movie to

[1:24:44] watch but it's really fascinating and magnetic and for anyone who has found

[1:24:49] themselves drawn to like Grey Gardens I recommend it in that it's a it's a

[1:24:53] portrait of people who of someone who is living on a fringe of society in a

[1:24:59] way that they are attempting to make a life for themselves and you're not quite

[1:25:03] sure if they're succeeding or failing by their own terms and you're not quite

[1:25:07] sure how in on the joke they are of the film there's no joke here but how in on

[1:25:13] the film they are and it was I just found it really fascinating and

[1:25:18] engrossing but also like made me ask a lot of questions about what I was

[1:25:21] getting out of the film and how whether the filmmakers were playing fair and I

[1:25:25] thought was really fascinating so portrait of Jason I recommend well

[1:25:31] that's that's a bunch of recommendations we did it guys so so metric shit ton of

[1:25:39] recommendations as usual thanks for listening to this silly show of ours I

[1:25:43] don't know why you do it if you get a chance go to iTunes and give us a review

[1:25:47] we don't ask for that very often but I guess I think it helps yeah why not and

[1:25:51] listen to other max fun shows there's a lot of great ones on the network I love

[1:25:55] being part of the network I think there's a lot of fun ones some new ones

[1:25:57] like the beef and dairy network yeah and also we just recently set up a YouTube

[1:26:07] channel under a flop house podcast which has some original animation done by Tony

[1:26:13] ochre adapting scenes from episodes yep some of your favorite bits are on there

[1:26:20] and we also have some playlists where we are slowly tracking down old old videos

[1:26:27] that folks have put up like the music videos for our music video contest a

[1:26:31] bunch of other things I think there's also maybe even some some old footage

[1:26:35] there might even be some old footage from some of our live shows from way

[1:26:39] back to the day oh really yeah I think there's some some stuff that was up

[1:26:43] loaded like the clip from don't tell her it's me where she ripped yeah I go

[1:26:55] to YouTube and look up the flop house podcast great those are all great things

[1:27:04] this is my battery first ever episode of Flop House where we tuck you in at the end. My battery is draining.

[1:27:18] Before I pass out on the microphone dying as I lived this has been hey does it get

[1:27:29] any better ever get better than this do we get better than this do we get better

[1:27:33] than this no what does he say these are your friends these no no those were

[1:27:38] your friends here are your friends who are the places your friends

[1:27:43] Horton here's a friend for the flop house Joe Easy, Phoebs, and let's not forget Murray, Russ, Gus, Jenna Brenda, Morgan, Gunther, Chicory, Elvis Too, Banfield, Dan's about to die so that was Dan, Stuart, I'll end forever

[1:28:13] YOLO that's me Stuart Willington and against all laws of God and man I remain

[1:28:19] Elliot Kalin. Good night everyone no regrets YOLO

[1:28:36] don't want to do it again declares Dan McCoy of the on board with this

[1:28:42] Gazette just let me continue drinking my peak organic pale ale raves Dan McCoy

[1:28:53] maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported hi I'm Mark and

[1:28:59] I'm Hal and we're the hosts of we got this the show that offers definitive

[1:29:03] answers to dumb debates that you suggest every Wednesday we discuss the hot

[1:29:08] button topics you never knew you cared so much about like whether you should

[1:29:12] put ketchup on a hot dog what's the best Star Wars movie whether it's better to

[1:29:15] be too hot or too cold coke or Pepsi best Marvel movie which is the best

[1:29:20] religion I told you we're not doing that one so join us every week on maximum

[1:29:25] fun org and don't worry everyone we got this

Ep. #204 - We Are Your Friends

Chapters

Transcript

Description