Ep.#206 - The Choice

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] On this episode, we watched a movie called The Choice.

[0:05] Which do you choose?

[0:06] Watch this movie or don't watch this movie?

[0:11] Are you asking me?

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[0:43] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:45] Hey.

[0:46] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Hallie Haglund

[0:48] Hey, I'm Hallie Haglund.

Dan McCoy

[0:50] Hey, she's back.

[0:52] You're not Elliot.

[0:53] The star of The Flophouse is back.

Hallie Haglund

[0:55] Oh, I killed Elliot and ate him.

Dan McCoy

[0:58] Oh, wow.

[0:59] Now you have his powers.

[1:01] Mm-hmm.

[1:01] In one sitting.

Hallie Haglund

[1:02] Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

[1:05] That was his deepest power, right?

[1:07] Just knowing how to sing that song.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09] Adjusting your suspenders, which is what you were doing there, I think.

[1:12] Or were you adjusting a cape?

Hallie Haglund

[1:14] You guys, I'm just here to fill in for Elliot.

[1:17] He's actually totally fine.

[1:19] I don't know what he's doing.

[1:20] But he texted me, so I don't think he's that busy.

Dan McCoy

[1:23] Yeah, he was like, have a good taping tonight.

[1:26] And I'm like, well, if you can use your thumbs, then you can tape a podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:33] Maybe he's stuck in a kiddie pool full of, I don't know, like cozy pudding or something.

[1:38] Or Pete.

[1:39] Cozy pudding?

[1:40] Yeah, isn't that a brand, Cozy?

Dan McCoy

[1:43] Look at Google, Dan.

[1:46] I'm going to wrap myself up in a bag of cozy pudding.

Hallie Haglund

[1:49] I was like, is that tapioca?

[1:52] I guess maybe that's cozier than other puddings.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55] Cozy's the brand name, although I guess it could also be the descriptor.

[1:59] It's going to be so warm when I'm inside that pudding.

[2:02] I mean, not initially, but it warms up.

Hallie Haglund

[2:04] I mean, there's no real pudding that's cozying these days, you guys.

Stuart Wellington

[2:09] No?

[2:09] What does that mean?

Hallie Haglund

[2:11] It's about Bill Cosby.

Stuart Wellington

[2:12] Oh, that's true.

[2:13] I should have picked up on your subtle facial cues.

[2:18] That Cosby smirk.

[2:21] Yeah.

[2:22] Okay, so Elliot.

Hallie Haglund

[2:23] There's no real.

Stuart Wellington

[2:25] Oh, wow.

[2:27] It was like he was in the room for a second.

[2:28] Yeah, I almost stepped all over that impression.

[2:32] I was checking my drink for roofies.

[2:35] Oh, wow, yeah.

[2:37] So, yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[2:38] I roofied myself just to get in character, just so you guys know.

[2:43] No, sorry.

[2:44] Please continue.

Dan McCoy

[2:45] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

Stuart Wellington

[2:50] As you can see, one of our regular hosts, Elliot Kalin, is dead.

[2:54] He's dead.

[2:56] I was going to say on a sabbatical of one episode.

[2:59] Yeah.

[2:59] But he could also be dead.

Dan McCoy

[3:01] He could be.

[3:02] By the time we record this podcast.

[3:03] God, that would be the worst thing.

[3:05] That would be so sad.

[3:07] Yep.

Hallie Haglund

[3:07] It's like the Gary Shandling comedians in cars getting coffee.

[3:13] Oh, really?

[3:13] What happened?

[3:14] It was filmed very near to his death and he was like, the title is literally like, Gary

[3:21] Shandling, at least I'm still alive.

[3:23] That's not funny.

[3:24] But yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[3:27] Wow.

[3:28] Well.

[3:28] So.

[3:28] Man, rough.

[3:30] Okay.

[3:30] Right at the top.

[3:31] We're talking about comedian deaths.

[3:33] And I guess comedian rapes.

[3:35] Yeah.

[3:36] So, wow.

[3:37] Let's.

[3:37] It's only up here as Hallie eats one of her martini olives.

[3:42] So, normally what we do on this here podcast is we watch a movie and then we talk about

[3:48] it.

[3:48] And what did we watch tonight, guys?

Dan McCoy

[3:49] We watched a movie called The Choice, which we gave Hallie the decision.

[3:55] The choice.

[3:56] The choice of like what we would watch tonight because she was the guest.

[4:00] And I was.

[4:01] And so we could have someone to blame.

[4:03] I was rattling off different titles and she's like, The Choice, what's that?

[4:07] And I was like, it's a Nicholas Sparks movie.

[4:08] And her face lit up.

Stuart Wellington

[4:10] Like a spark.

[4:12] You didn't even get to say all of sparks before a hand covered your mouth and said,

[4:16] shut up.

[4:17] We're watching this one.

Dan McCoy

[4:18] Nicholas Sparks, of course, known for movies like The Notebook or books.

[4:24] Books turn into movies.

[4:26] Yeah.

[4:27] The Notebook where, as I understand it.

[4:30] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[4:30] What happens in that one?

[4:31] That's the big one, right?

Dan McCoy

[4:32] I don't know.

[4:32] It's Alzheimer's derails of romance.

[4:36] There's a romance for the ages.

Hallie Haglund

[4:38] You're pretending like you didn't see The Notebook.

[4:40] You've seen The Notebook.

Stuart Wellington

[4:43] I've seen little bits of pieces of The Notebook.

Hallie Haglund

[4:45] Oh, it's coming out a little bit by bit.

Stuart Wellington

[4:48] Yeah.

[4:49] No, Dan didn't have time to watch The Notebook.

[4:50] He was too busy watching Terminator 2.

[4:52] Yeah.

[4:53] Rachel McAdams.

Dan McCoy

[4:55] And Ryan Gosling.

[4:56] That's how they fell in love.

[4:57] And then old Ryan Gosling is James Garner.

[5:00] I don't know who old.

Hallie Haglund

[5:01] It's like Maggie Smith or something.

[5:03] It's not Maggie Smith.

[5:04] Maggie Smith.

[5:06] Who's the...

[5:07] Judy Dench.

[5:08] No.

[5:09] It's not Black Tanner either.

[5:12] Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Hallie Haglund

[5:12] But it's like one of those people.

[5:15] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[5:16] Angie Oldington.

[5:18] Mm-hmm.

Hallie Haglund

[5:19] Yeah.

[5:19] It's probably that.

Dan McCoy

[5:20] So that's one.

[5:22] We watched Safe Haven for this podcast, which was the one where...

[5:25] That's another Nicholas Parks.

[5:26] ...a ghost tells the lady to date her husband.

Stuart Wellington

[5:31] Oh, yeah.

[5:32] There was a ghost in that.

[5:33] That's why when we were about to watch this one, I'm like, at least there's going to be

[5:37] a fucking ghost in it, right?

[5:39] Yeah.

[5:40] You like a real spook-em-up.

[5:42] Yeah, yeah.

[5:43] So that it's both scary and a little bit lovely.

Hallie Haglund

[5:46] I kept thinking we were having moments of ghosts, but it was just like slow fade-ins to different

[5:52] scenes.

[5:52] But they like left the images on the screen like just a little bit too long.

Dan McCoy

[5:56] Mm-hmm.

[5:57] Well, you want to see a ghost every October, so...

Hallie Haglund

[6:00] I want to see a ghost every month.

Dan McCoy

[6:03] I think you're just seeing ghosts wherever you want to see them.

[6:09] But what's this movie about?

Stuart Wellington

[6:10] Yeah, what is this movie about?

[6:12] So, smash cut to the opening of this movie.

[6:17] And we see...

[6:19] We hear somebody...

[6:20] Is it Tom Wilkinson?

[6:21] Somebody's doing a narration as we see...

[6:24] It's the main dude.

[6:25] It's the...

[6:25] Let's call him...

[6:26] Is it the main dude?

[6:27] Yeah.

[6:27] Travis?

[6:29] Yeah, let's call him Travis Handsome Bones.

[6:32] Oh, he is handsome and pretty bony.

[6:36] Uh-huh.

Hallie Haglund

[6:37] I mean, to be fair, when we started watching it, we were watching it with that weird screen

[6:41] feature.

[6:41] So, he looked a lot bonier than you turned out to be.

Dan McCoy

[6:44] Yeah, he looked really stretched out.

[6:45] Like one of the grays.

[6:47] I asked Hallie what she thought of our romantic lead at one point.

[6:50] And she's like, he's okay.

[6:52] He's a little pretty.

[6:53] No, but...

Hallie Haglund

[6:53] To be fair, that was before you changed the setting of the screen.

[6:58] Yeah, for me, I was like...

[6:58] So, was he less pretty when I changed it?

[7:00] No, yeah.

[7:00] He was definitely more attractive.

[7:02] Or maybe I just got to know him and I just saw how much he loved his wife.

[7:05] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[7:05] At first, I was like, oh, he's like Slender Man.

[7:07] I love him.

Dan McCoy

[7:09] Yeah, I don't know what the problem was.

[7:11] But Amazon Prime, you got to switch up your presets or whatever.

[7:15] Because my normal television looked totally normal.

[7:18] And then I put on the choice and everyone looked all squish heads.

Stuart Wellington

[7:23] Wait, what part's squished?

[7:24] It's on the sides, right?

[7:26] Yeah.

[7:26] Okay.

[7:27] So, are you telling the listeners to change their presets or are you admonishing Amazon?

Dan McCoy

[7:33] Yeah, I'm telling them to dial into their menu button and go to picture goodness.

Stuart Wellington

[7:40] Yep.

[7:41] And set it to optimum.

[7:42] Yeah, you did that a couple times throughout the movie and we lost a couple of scenes.

Dan McCoy

[7:47] And set the squishiness to zero and the awesomeness to 12.

[7:52] Mm-hmm.

[7:52] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[7:53] Only maxed out.

[7:54] No metal sliders.

[7:55] The maximum is 12.

[7:58] Mm-hmm.

[7:59] So, the movie begins with a voiceover about choice and how life is made up of little choices and some other shit.

[8:08] And then we have our hero, Handsome Bones, riding around on a fan boat in Florida.

[8:16] And he's got kind of, like, not really long hair.

[8:20] He's kind of in Florida.

Hallie Haglund

[8:21] Isn't he in South or North Carolina?

Stuart Wellington

[8:23] Oh, yeah, you're right.

[8:24] It's probably North Carolina.

[8:26] Because it has all of the prettiness of Florida, but none of the grossness.

Hallie Haglund

[8:30] It's like Outer Banks or something.

[8:33] It's a very romantic setting.

Stuart Wellington

[8:36] Well, it's tough for me to place it because every time they do a shot of, like, landscape or anything, it feels so tight.

[8:43] Like, they have only this tiny little window that they can shoot.

[8:46] Because if you look a little bit to the right.

[8:49] Oh, wow.

[8:50] Archie doesn't like my description.

[8:51] If you look to the right or the left at all, you're going to see, like, construction.

[8:55] Or, like, people in, like, American flag short shorts or something.

[9:00] Yeah.

[9:01] There's going to be, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[9:02] There's going to be a guy with a belly shirt going, hey, y'all.

[9:08] Yep.

[9:08] Sup?

Hallie Haglund

[9:09] They're mostly just still cleaning up from Hurricane Katrina.

Dan McCoy

[9:12] Aw.

[9:13] Bringing it back down.

[9:14] Yeah.

[9:15] With your Cosby and your Hurricane Katrina.

Hallie Haglund

[9:16] I just want to keep us grounded because we got pretty romantic in the movie.

[9:21] And I just want you guys to know that's not what real life is like.

[9:25] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[9:25] So every time we peek, we've got to back off a little bit with talk about tragedies.

[9:30] So we have a handsome youngling riding around in his fan boat.

[9:34] Yeah.

[9:35] And he's a man on a mission.

[9:37] On a mission to get ladies.

[9:39] Yep.

[9:40] We think as he snatches up some flowers, heads into a hospital.

[9:43] And at this point, I'm like, we got boats.

[9:46] We got a place that I thought was Florida.

[9:48] We got a hospital.

[9:49] We got prime Nicholas Sparks material, right?

[9:53] And he has a brief interaction with an almost equally handsome doctor.

[9:59] Handsome in a different way.

[10:01] He's beefier.

[10:02] Yeah.

[10:02] He's like a big slab of man.

[10:05] Yeah.

[10:06] Even stretched out, I was like, he's pretty beefy.

Hallie Haglund

[10:09] I mean, he's not beefy.

[10:11] Just, he's good.

Stuart Wellington

[10:12] Yeah.

[10:13] All right.

[10:13] He's normal shape.

Hallie Haglund

[10:14] I don't know why you want a body shape.

Stuart Wellington

[10:16] Well, what I was trying to say is if.

[10:17] No, he's like a good stew.

[10:19] He's like a delicious stew.

[10:21] Yeah, it's like a delicious version of me.

[10:23] If you took.

[10:24] I feel like if you were making a cartoon with these two guys, Handsome Bones and the Doctor.

[10:29] Yeah.

[10:30] Handsome Bones would definitely be a talking hot dog character.

[10:34] And the Doctor would be a talking hamburger.

[10:36] Yeah.

[10:36] I mean, it's pretty obvious.

[10:37] That's fair.

[10:38] I agree.

Dan McCoy

[10:38] The Doctor would have his voice would be Patrick Warburton.

Stuart Wellington

[10:42] Yeah.

[10:43] I mean, that's what I think of when I devour a hamburger.

[10:47] I'm eating a delicious Patrick Warburton.

Hallie Haglund

[10:49] I'm actually pretty sure that that actor was on 90210, The College Years.

[10:56] Okay.

[10:56] Yeah.

[10:57] Wait, which one?

[10:58] The guy who played the doctor.

[10:59] Okay.

[11:00] Yeah.

[11:01] I think he was like the frat guy that Tori Spelling dated before she.

Stuart Wellington

[11:08] Who'd she end up with on that show?

[11:10] Because in real life, she ended up with someone else.

[11:16] Wait, in the show, she ended up with Brian Austin Green, right?

Hallie Haglund

[11:18] David.

[11:19] David Silver.

Stuart Wellington

[11:20] Wait, is that Brian Austin Green?

[11:21] Yes.

[11:22] Okay.

[11:23] But, yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[11:26] But on the show, and in real life, she wound up with that guy who hosts like Canadian Top

[11:32] Chef or something.

Dan McCoy

[11:35] Canadian Top Chef.

[11:36] It's all poutine.

[11:37] It's all 100% poutine based.

Hallie Haglund

[11:40] No, not Canadian Chopped.

[11:41] That's what I meant.

[11:42] All right.

[11:43] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[11:43] You're going to throw that poutine out.

[11:47] It's garbage.

Hallie Haglund

[11:48] You're going to get a lot of letters about every fact I just said in the last...

Stuart Wellington

[11:52] Well, not that many letters.

[11:53] Not that many people like this show.

Hallie Haglund

[11:55] But everybody likes facts.

Stuart Wellington

[11:57] Watch your show.

[11:58] Everybody likes facts.

[12:00] Yep.

[12:00] People are yelling into their pod players right now.

[12:03] No, that's wrong.

[12:04] It was Canadian Chopped.

[12:05] Dummies.

[12:07] And we are dummies, but our hero, Hot Dog, is not a dummy because we go backwards in time

[12:13] because at this point, that's such a great bookend.

Hallie Haglund

[12:16] I just want to see my phone.

[12:18] That's right.

[12:19] Now I'm obsessed about if that was the Beverly Hills.

Stuart Wellington

[12:21] So framing device is done.

[12:23] Our hero is now hanging out with his buddies on a boat again in a marina, and he's hitting

[12:30] on some babes, some blonde babes in bikinis.

[12:34] He's showing off how he's like the cool guy friend, and his buddies are just chill, and

[12:40] they're kind of like basically being like a little bit of a peanut gallery and also kind

[12:44] of analyzing his maneuvers and skills.

Hallie Haglund

[12:46] They're like, oh, dirty dog.

Stuart Wellington

[12:50] Yep, which is weird because he owns a dirty dog.

[12:53] Who we'll meet later?

Hallie Haglund

[12:54] The dog doesn't actually get that dirty until the end because it won't swim.

[12:58] That's why he always has to carry him.

Stuart Wellington

[13:00] Oh, I didn't pay that close attention.

[13:03] Yeah.

[13:03] So Hot Dog gets stolen away from these babes with a third babe played by who?

[13:13] Teresa Palmer?

[13:15] Teresa Palmer.

[13:16] Is that right?

[13:17] Mm-hmm.

[13:18] No, I was talking about his high school girlfriend.

[13:20] Oh, okay.

[13:20] Yeah, I mean all the babes get it.

Dan McCoy

[13:22] Alexandra Daddario.

[13:23] Yep, Daddario.

[13:24] Daddario.

[13:24] Named after the guitar strings.

[13:28] The Daddario guitar strings.

[13:30] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[13:31] And the popular chain of pizza restaurants.

[13:34] That's Sabario.

[13:35] Called Pizzareos here.

[13:38] So we basically learn a little backstory.

[13:42] This guy is kind of a lady killer, but not really.

[13:46] He doesn't actually kill any ladies.

[13:48] And he loves partying with his buddies.

Dan McCoy

[13:50] Much more interesting movie, if that was what it was.

[13:52] It was a romance where one of the guys is like a lady murderer and they have to get over.

[13:56] That's the hitch that they have to get over.

Stuart Wellington

[13:59] He's like, could you just stop murdering other ladies?

[14:01] I mean, he certainly makes faces as if he's putting together an audition reel for American Psycho, the musical.

Hallie Haglund

[14:07] Yeah.

[14:08] Wait, you guys.

[14:09] That was not from 90210 at all.

[14:12] But that was Superman from Smallville.

[14:14] What?

[14:15] Yeah.

[14:16] What?

[14:16] Tom Welling?

[14:17] Mm-hmm.

[14:18] What?

[14:18] Really?

[14:19] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[14:20] He's beefed up.

Hallie Haglund

[14:22] I don't think he actually looks.

[14:23] He looked familiar.

[14:24] I mean, not familiar enough for me to actually know who he was, but, you know.

Dan McCoy

[14:28] Yeah.

[14:29] I mean, I really don't actually want to body shame anyone, but he just looks much bigger than he used to.

Hallie Haglund

[14:34] I mean, let's admit that other Superman guy got way fatter.

[14:37] Oh, Dean Cain?

[14:38] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[14:39] Yeah.

[14:40] Yep, that's true.

[14:41] Well, he was like.

[14:42] Time makes monsters of us all.

[14:44] He was hosting Ripley's Believe It or Not, and he was like, can you believe how fat I've gotten?

Stuart Wellington

[14:51] Or not.

[14:52] Nope, we believe it.

[14:54] Sorry, Dean Cain.

[14:56] Don't you have any Christian action movies you can star in?

[14:59] And he's like, I'm too fat for those now.

[15:01] And then we all got sad.

Hallie Haglund

[15:03] I feel like every time I come on this show, I body shame men.

[15:09] It's fine.

Stuart Wellington

[15:09] Turnabout is fair play.

Hallie Haglund

[15:10] No, yeah.

[15:11] I feel like it's important.

[15:12] I feel like someone is finally willing to say it.

[15:16] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[15:18] Yep.

[15:19] Somebody finally stands up to the patriarchy.

[15:21] Yeah.

[15:23] So back to the plot.

[15:26] We get a pretty quick setup.

[15:28] We get a pretty quick setup.

[15:29] And by quick, I mean it takes forever.

[15:32] Where we discover our hero likes to hang out with his friends.

[15:36] He likes to play his music real loud.

[15:38] And his music entirely consists of covers of songs.

[15:42] Hangs out with his dog.

[15:43] He likes to barbecue.

[15:45] All this shit.

[15:47] And then we are introduced to his next door neighbor who is a Amber Heard type who is trying to study but can't because her next door neighbor is partying all the time.

[15:57] And she's also frustrated because her dog's nipples are totally swollen.

Hallie Haglund

[16:01] But also, whatever happened with that test?

[16:04] Because that was like an important test that she needed to take to become a doctor.

[16:08] And she never took it.

[16:10] And then she never had any job after when they were buried in that montage.

Stuart Wellington

[16:15] You jumped ahead a little bit, but they do get married.

[16:17] They don't really address her career.

[16:20] They don't mention when she's in a coma, for instance.

[16:22] I didn't say who they were.

[16:24] They don't mention when she's in a coma.

[16:26] Like, she has to take a lot of time off at work while she's in this coma.

[16:30] She's going to get fired because apparently she didn't follow through with her career.

Hallie Haglund

[16:34] No, I'm saying, yeah, the unspoken message of this is if you want a man, if you want to keep a man, give up your medical studying.

Stuart Wellington

[16:43] One of your possible choices could be give up your studies, give up your teaching people to ride horses,

[16:51] and instead you'll get hit by a car in a rainstorm and be put in a coma for exactly as long as the movie needs you to be.

Hallie Haglund

[16:58] We are really giving away a lot of the...

[17:02] We'll get around.

[17:03] We have to paint a picture before you drop these bombs on people.

Stuart Wellington

[17:07] Well, and most of this movie feels like you're painting a picture.

[17:09] At least the first half hour feels like I am flipping through a J.Crew catalog and I have sad music playing in the background.

[17:18] And if somebody just sprayed salt water in front of a fan by my face, I feel like I would be living this movie.

[17:26] That said, everything's really...

[17:29] Dan is really excited with this new gizmo he's playing with.

[17:33] And by new gizmo, I'm not talking about the mogwai.

[17:35] I'm talking about a little...

Dan McCoy

[17:36] I was looking at our backup recorder, which I don't think was working.

[17:38] That's why I was...

Stuart Wellington

[17:40] Oh, now we're living on the edge without a backup.

[17:43] Yeah.

[17:43] Is it working now?

[17:45] No.

[17:45] What if we...

[17:46] We'll check back in a couple of minutes.

[17:48] Okay.

[17:49] So we're just saying that the movie opens with a ladies' man who just can't quite settle down.

[17:57] And a bookish nerd lady who has a dog with swollen teats.

[18:01] Teresa Palmer.

Dan McCoy

[18:01] The aforementioned Teresa Palmer, who you might remember from I Am Number Four.

[18:06] I didn't remember her.

[18:07] You might remember her from...

[18:09] What was the other one?

[18:10] That's a movie where a guy is a superhero.

Stuart Wellington

[18:13] Oh, The Sorcerer's Apprentice was the other one that she was in.

[18:16] Also didn't remember her in that either.

[18:17] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[18:19] This is really her breakout role then, I guess.

[18:22] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:23] Yeah, I mean, this movie was super successful.

[18:26] Was it?

[18:26] I don't think so.

[18:28] I never heard of it, that's for sure.

[18:32] So, of course, opposites attract, like that song where the cat man has sex with Paul Abdul.

[18:41] It's implied.

[18:42] That's what it was called MC Cat Man.

[18:45] So, of course, our Teresa Palmer nurse lady.

Hallie Haglund

[18:52] She was not a nurse.

Stuart Wellington

[18:54] Okay.

[18:55] So, she...

[18:55] Doctor.

Hallie Haglund

[18:55] I don't think.

[18:56] Right?

[18:56] She was like a med student.

Stuart Wellington

[18:57] She was a med student.

[18:58] And she was just interning.

[19:00] She wasn't...

[19:00] Okay.

[19:01] That makes sense.

[19:01] She was doing her residency.

[19:04] Okay.

[19:04] I'm sorry.

[19:07] So, she...

[19:08] Her boyfriend played by Superman, I guess.

[19:11] A.K.A.

[19:11] The Hamburger.

[19:14] The Hamburglar.

[19:15] He...

[19:16] Oh, he is...

[19:18] I mean, he says more than just Robble Robble in this movie.

[19:21] And he came around.

Dan McCoy

[19:22] He could afford to buy hamburgers rather than steal them.

[19:25] Oh, he could.

Stuart Wellington

[19:25] He's a doctor.

[19:26] I'm pretty sure the Hamburglar can afford to buy hamburgers, too.

[19:29] He just does it for the thrill?

[19:31] Exactly.

[19:31] He does it for the thrill.

[19:32] The sexual thrill.

[19:33] It's not like he's wimpy or something.

[19:35] No.

[19:36] All right.

[19:36] Who lies and takes out IOUs.

Hallie Haglund

[19:38] Did you guys know if the Hamburglar takes off his mask, it's Winona Ryder?

[19:44] What?

Stuart Wellington

[19:47] I did not know that.

[19:50] She just steals for the thrill.

[19:53] Yeah.

[19:54] Yep.

[19:55] And apparently much older than I thought.

[19:58] It's shorter.

Hallie Haglund

[20:00] Wait, is the...

[20:01] Wait, the Winona Ryder or the Hamburglar?

[20:03] Yeah.

[20:03] Winona Ryder.

Stuart Wellington

[20:04] I think they're of a size.

Hallie Haglund

[20:06] He looks pretty big.

[20:07] I mean, he's like stands up pretty close to Gromit, right?

[20:11] Gromit?

[20:12] Gromit.

[20:14] Or Gromit from Wall Street.

[20:16] Yeah, the claymation dog.

[20:17] Yeah.

[20:19] I mean, Grimace.

Stuart Wellington

[20:21] Okay.

[20:22] So you're using Grimace, a giant like purple thing, as your scale comparison.

Dan McCoy

[20:28] Originally, he was supposed to be like a drop of a shake.

[20:33] That was what Grimace was.

Stuart Wellington

[20:34] What flavor shake is that?

Dan McCoy

[20:36] Because they never had a purple shake.

[20:38] That's what I am asking you.

[20:39] They must have had a purple shake.

[20:41] I don't think so.

[20:43] Okay.

[20:43] Well.

[20:43] He also was originally a villain.

[20:45] This is the Grimace trivia cast.

[20:48] But Grimace was originally a villain.

[20:50] That's why he was named Grimace.

[20:53] What was his plan?

[20:55] What was his MO?

[20:56] I don't know, man.

Stuart Wellington

[20:57] He wanted to...

[20:58] He was just an agent of chaos.

Hallie Haglund

[21:00] But that's like such a sad villain name because it's such a specific feeling of like, it's

[21:06] not even like evil.

[21:08] It's just like disgust and shame, but pity and like, it's such a sad feeling to Grimace

[21:16] at something.

Stuart Wellington

[21:17] Well, it's in a way, it's the opposite feeling that the owners of the McDonald's chain of restaurants

[21:21] wants you to experience when entering their restaurant.

[21:25] Yeah.

[21:27] That's what you have when you have intestinal distress.

[21:29] You have Grimace.

[21:30] Yeah.

[21:30] Or if you're, I don't know, working at a McDonald's and have to deal with an annoying customer.

[21:35] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[21:35] Or if you open your paycheck and you look at it.

Stuart Wellington

[21:38] Oh, hot take.

[21:40] Political.

Hallie Haglund

[21:42] Guys, I'm bringing a lot of politics into tonight's show.

Stuart Wellington

[21:46] Thank you.

[21:47] So, we have Teresa Palmer's character named Gabby.

[21:53] Gabby.

[21:54] She and Hot Dog hit it off, but she's got a boyfriend.

[21:58] Her boyfriend goes on a business trip.

[22:00] That gives her plenty of time to let Hot Dog swoop in and sweep her off her feet.

[22:04] Did we say they were neighbors?

[22:06] Yeah.

[22:06] Oh, maybe I did.

Dan McCoy

[22:08] I don't care.

[22:09] They're neighbors, as in like in the hit film Neighbors 2, Sorority Rising.

[22:14] Except for they're not a sorority and they are not fighting each other.

[22:18] They're falling in love.

Stuart Wellington

[22:20] So, not really.

[22:20] I mean, I don't know.

[22:21] I haven't watched Neighbors 2.

Dan McCoy

[22:22] Not really like the hit film, Sorority Rising.

Stuart Wellington

[22:24] Are you getting to recommendations early?

[22:26] I was marketing Sorority Rising.

[22:28] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[22:29] I guess that's one of the sponsors of this episode.

Stuart Wellington

[22:31] Hey, it's me, Seth Rogen.

[22:32] Come watch my movie, Neighbors 2, Sorority Rising.

Dan McCoy

[22:36] I think that's the name.

Stuart Wellington

[22:40] Raves Dan McCoy.

[22:43] He could be.

[22:44] It could be.

[22:45] Who knows?

[22:46] Not me.

[22:46] Seth Rogen, creator of the movie.

[22:48] Anything could happen.

[22:49] Sure.

[22:51] Don't lock yourself into a box.

[22:53] So, of course, wait.

[22:57] Oh, yeah.

[22:57] We find out that our hero, the hot dog, is also one of the two vets in this small town.

[23:03] Yeah.

[23:04] A town that can support two vets.

Hallie Haglund

[23:07] But we find that out because.

Stuart Wellington

[23:10] How do we find that out?

Hallie Haglund

[23:11] Because remember how her dog was pregnant?

[23:13] And then she's like, I gotta get him.

[23:15] Or she.

Dan McCoy

[23:16] She's really mad because she thinks that he, his dog made her dog pregnant.

[23:21] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[23:21] Which is a little bit of wishful thinking, don't you think?

[23:23] She's like.

[23:24] Yeah.

[23:24] She's trying to lock him down.

[23:27] Oh, yeah.

[23:27] Yeah.

[23:28] You think she poked holes with a dog condom to lock him in?

[23:32] Well, dog diaphragm.

[23:33] I mean, come on.

[23:34] She doesn't have access to his dog rubbers, Dan.

[23:36] That'd be crazy.

Dan McCoy

[23:38] Yeah.

[23:39] But she takes him into the vet and the guy's like, my dog was fixed.

[23:45] You should know as a doctor that he doesn't have any testicles.

Stuart Wellington

[23:49] And the girl that you thought was my girlfriend is, in fact, just kind of looks like my girlfriend.

[23:55] Because the girl you thought was my girlfriend is TV's Maggie Grace wearing a really big, thick, luscious wig.

Hallie Haglund

[24:01] I just make her wear a wig to look like my girlfriend.

[24:05] I make my sister wear a wig to look like my girlfriend.

Stuart Wellington

[24:08] And it's the thickest, luscious wig.

[24:10] It's pretty great.

[24:12] Yeah.

[24:13] And Maggie Grace plays his sister, and she doesn't really bring much to the movie other than a baby later on.

[24:20] Incredible warmth.

[24:21] She brings that Maggie Grace feeling.

[24:23] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:24] That you get lost and taken.

[24:26] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[24:27] Like, any time our hero has a problem, she kind of just, like, floats in from the background and puts her hand on his shoulder.

Hallie Haglund

[24:34] And she's like, I got your back.

[24:37] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[24:39] I thought she was in the room with us.

[24:41] I was going to be like, watch out for Bill Gosby.

[24:44] Allie's hair isn't thick enough for that.

Hallie Haglund

[24:47] Aw.

[24:49] You guys, I'm going bald.

Dan McCoy

[24:52] Because Archie keeps eating your hair.

Hallie Haglund

[24:54] It's true.

[24:55] You guys, you've got to meet Archie.

[24:57] He's pretty fun.

Stuart Wellington

[24:58] Yep.

[24:59] Yeah, everyone come over.

[25:00] Listeners, come over.

[25:01] Me and Archie.

[25:02] I mean, I guess form a single file line.

[25:04] Yeah.

[25:05] Should we just give out your address here?

[25:07] You each get one pet.

[25:07] Yep.

[25:08] A single pet.

[25:10] But you've got to shift around.

[25:11] If you keep doing the same area, he'll go bald in that one area.

[25:14] You can give Archie one piece of food.

[25:16] Like me.

[25:16] Like Allie.

Dan McCoy

[25:19] Nothing fattening.

Stuart Wellington

[25:21] Oh, you're giving them a lot of free reign.

[25:23] You'll just let them pick any kind of food.

[25:25] But it has to be one piece.

[25:27] Yeah, that's right.

[25:29] So like one slice of pizza.

[25:33] One piece of spaghetti.

Hallie Haglund

[25:35] One rotisserie chicken.

Stuart Wellington

[25:38] An entire rotisserie chicken, Dan?

[25:40] Baked Alaska.

[25:40] Is that a piece?

[25:41] One baked Alaska piece?

[25:45] Yeah.

[25:46] Well, he's a king and he deserves to be treated like one.

[25:49] When it's my turn, I'm going to give him one gusher because he's had so much heavy food at this point.

[25:55] I think one little treat that has a little treat inside it is exactly what he needs.

[26:01] So you're looking at me like it's time for us to move on.

[26:04] Probably.

[26:04] And I think that's what's going on.

[26:07] And so we see kind of a whirlwind romance between these two characters.

[26:12] She's a little standoffish both because she knows that Dr. Hot Dog or Veterinarian Hot Dog is a little bit of a bad boy and is not going to settle down.

[26:21] But deep down, it's also because she knows she has a boyfriend.

[26:25] Yeah, that's right.

[26:26] A boyfriend that we kind of forget about for a little bit until...

[26:29] And so does she.

[26:30] He's off at a convenient conference for like a month.

[26:33] Yeah.

[26:34] Yep.

[26:34] A convenient conference for convenient doctors.

[26:38] And...

[26:38] What does that mean?

[26:41] You know, doctors that live near you.

[26:43] Yeah.

[26:44] That have availability in their schedule.

Hallie Haglund

[26:46] I wish I had some of those in New York.

Stuart Wellington

[26:48] Yeah.

[26:49] Thanks, Obama.

Dan McCoy

[26:51] I mean, no.

[26:52] Genuinely, thank you, Obama.

[26:54] For making doctors more convenient to all of us.

Stuart Wellington

[26:57] Yeah, that's what I said.

[26:58] Thank you, Obama.

[27:00] But you say it weird.

[27:02] That's how I think, people.

[27:04] So, of course, the sexual chemistry cannot be contained.

[27:09] And eventually, Dr. Veterinarian Hot Dog and our lead Gabby...

[27:14] That was really smooth.

[27:16] The way Hallie stood up and...

[27:18] Yeah, she snuck out of the room because she doesn't want to hear this part.

[27:22] When in a moment of separation where the vet is sitting in his Adirondack chair staring off into space,

[27:30] and she is sitting on her porch watching him,

[27:33] she decides to send him a little love note tucked into the collar of her dog.

[27:38] Or his dog.

[27:38] I don't remember.

[27:40] Which he unwraps and says,

[27:41] Dinner at my place in 20 minutes.

[27:42] And he's like...

[27:43] And he's like,

[27:44] What?

[27:45] Is this a message from my dog?

[27:46] I didn't know that my dog had a place.

Dan McCoy

[27:49] And also, my dog can write notes.

[27:51] Is my dog coming on to me?

[27:52] I thought we had a platonic relationship.

[27:56] Mm-hmm.

[27:57] Now I gotta have this conversation with my dog.

Stuart Wellington

[28:02] So, Hallie, do you have any thoughts about the idea that his dog might have been the one who wrote that note?

Hallie Haglund

[28:08] I mean, that would have been a much better movie.

Dan McCoy

[28:14] But yeah, they...

Hallie Haglund

[28:16] Well, it's also not even clear.

[28:17] It's like, the dog may have wrote it, but like, I assume he has other neighbors, too.

Stuart Wellington

[28:23] Yeah, they've been writing notes and sticking them to the dog.

[28:27] And it probably took him at least an hour for that dog to bring him the note directly and not like, I don't know, jump in the lake.

Hallie Haglund

[28:34] No, that dog doesn't swim.

[28:36] Okay.

[28:36] How many dogs do I have to tell you guys?

Stuart Wellington

[28:39] Stick his face in a bucket of fish guts.

Hallie Haglund

[28:41] That's what he does.

Stuart Wellington

[28:43] That's his thing.

[28:44] He does do that.

[28:45] So, we are treated to a little bit of heavier romance after a costume change.

[28:52] Hot Dog and Gabby have a nice meal of pasta and salad, I'm assuming.

[28:58] They never touch the salad.

Dan McCoy

[28:59] They're flirting angrily with each other.

[29:01] Like, it seems like they're upset that they're attracted to each other, basically.

Stuart Wellington

[29:05] Yeah, I mean, this is the most by-the-numbers flirting that also has a touch of anger to it.

[29:12] Like, oh my god, you just push all my buttons.

[29:15] I can't believe it.

[29:17] And we get a little bit of homespun wisdom from our veterinarian hero.

[29:24] We're both talking about God.

[29:26] Yep.

[29:27] God comes up.

[29:28] One doesn't like him.

[29:29] She's one four, one again.

[29:31] Yep.

[29:32] And then we are treated to a couple shots of a bunch of puppies that are clearly played

[29:38] by a different breed of dog than the dog that birthed them.

Hallie Haglund

[29:41] Of just, like, full-grown chihuahuas that they try to make look like puppies.

Stuart Wellington

[29:45] Yeah, dude.

[29:46] What, Golden Retriever?

[29:47] What kind of dog is that?

Hallie Haglund

[29:48] It was.

[29:49] The mother was.

[29:50] Nobody knows about the father, though.

[29:52] That's true.

Stuart Wellington

[29:54] Because, yeah, there's no other dogs in this movie, so it could have been anything.

[29:58] Yeah.

[29:58] Could have been a virgin birth.

[29:59] Check the midichlorian count.

[30:02] So, we, so eventually they can't take it anymore.

[30:07] Their flirting turns to a sex scene that Dan said was actually hotter than I expected.

Dan McCoy

[30:13] Well, it was just, I mean, you know, the rest of the movie is so, like, it could be like

[30:18] a Christian, like, romance.

[30:21] Yeah.

[30:22] I mean, it basically is one.

[30:24] Yeah, like a J.Crew catalog.

[30:26] Yeah, a J.Crew catalog is a Christian romance.

[30:30] It's like.

[30:30] I mean, I don't know.

[30:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[30:33] I mean, when you're at Christian camp and you need some kind of material to get you in the

Dan McCoy

[30:39] mood and, you know, you don't want to, I guess.

[30:41] You want a peak polo shirt.

Stuart Wellington

[30:43] Yeah, yeah.

[30:44] So, well, you might look at a J.Crew catalog to give yourself those funny feelings because

[30:49] you, I don't know, it might be a sin to go buy a purchase.

[30:52] It's a Tijuana Bible or something.

Dan McCoy

[30:53] You want a Bible.

[30:56] You want to see Dagwood having sex with Miss Bugley from Beetle Bailey.

Stuart Wellington

[31:01] He's going to cheat on Blondie?

[31:03] That's insane, dude.

Dan McCoy

[31:05] He's got Blondie.

[31:06] He's got Blondie right at home.

[31:07] And Dagwood's not going to do any better than Blondie.

[31:08] That's a real Jay-Z, Beyonce situation, if you ask me.

[31:12] Yeah.

[31:12] See?

[31:13] Topical.

[31:16] Yeah.

[31:16] But it's just like there was more.

Stuart Wellington

[31:19] Political.

[31:20] Thank you, Alex.

[31:21] Very political.

Dan McCoy

[31:22] I just didn't expect, like, I didn't expect the sex scene to be, like, as, like.

Hallie Haglund

[31:28] I mean, it wasn't, like, nobody took their clothes off.

[31:31] No, there was no full-pened frame.

Stuart Wellington

[31:32] He took his shirt off and we got to see some wicked cut-up abs.

Hallie Haglund

[31:36] Oh, and hers, too, remember?

[31:38] Because you were like, that's a flat stomach.

Stuart Wellington

[31:41] I did.

[31:42] That's a, wow, is Stuart in the room with us?

[31:45] Can I talk?

Dan McCoy

[31:45] Well, Hallie, you were the one who, like, when she took her shirt off, you were like, whoa.

Hallie Haglund

[31:49] Well, she did have much bigger boobs than I would have thought, given her confidence level.

[31:58] I didn't, that's, no.

[32:00] I didn't say that.

Dan McCoy

[32:03] So they do it.

[32:04] They totally do it.

[32:05] They have it totally sex balls type.

[32:07] Uh-huh.

[32:08] It's crazy.

[32:09] They grind on each other.

Stuart Wellington

[32:10] All my hopes that the sex scene is going to be interrupted by a comedic puppy scene.

[32:15] I was disappointed that didn't happen.

[32:17] We just got a super hot sex scene.

[32:21] Yeah.

[32:21] Followed by, I don't know, waking up in bed together.

[32:25] And he leaves a note for her.

[32:27] And you're thinking, oh, wait.

[32:28] Maybe he's like, I'm going to love him and leave him type.

[32:31] But no, no, no.

[32:32] No.

Hallie Haglund

[32:33] He had to get to the vet because that's his job and he's really tired.

Dan McCoy

[32:39] He's committed.

[32:40] He's responsible.

Hallie Haglund

[32:42] He doesn't let down animals.

Dan McCoy

[32:44] Well, look, he's basically just.

[32:46] I mean, he's a woman's dream guy.

[32:48] I mean, he's.

[32:49] You got to tame him.

[32:51] But he also loves animals.

[32:54] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:55] Yeah.

[32:55] And he's like.

[32:56] And he's handy.

[32:57] He like fixes boat motors.

[32:58] Oh, yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[33:00] I mean, he's.

[33:01] He's everyone's dream.

Stuart Wellington

[33:02] He's my dream.

[33:04] Yeah.

[33:04] I mean, if I could have this guy around to fix my boat motor and I don't know, occasionally carry an Adirondack chair from one place to another place.

Hallie Haglund

[33:13] What if he held your face in his hands and said, you bother me?

Stuart Wellington

[33:19] I would be forced to kiss him.

[33:21] Those are the laws of my curse.

Hallie Haglund

[33:22] Those are very.

[33:24] Those are very.

[33:24] That was a very romantic refrain.

[33:26] Yeah.

[33:26] I was like, hook, line, and sinker.

[33:29] I'm a woman.

Stuart Wellington

[33:32] Yeah.

[33:32] At that point, I was clutching the throw pillow on the couch to my bosom.

[33:37] And I was thinking, what a dream guy.

Dan McCoy

[33:41] So, of course.

[33:42] Why can't I find a love like theirs?

[33:44] That's what I was saying.

[33:45] I imagine you had that accent, too, which is weird.

Stuart Wellington

[33:48] Yeah, his weird Jimmy Stewart accent.

Hallie Haglund

[33:49] And you were wearing that weird gone with the wind dress, too.

Stuart Wellington

[33:53] Yep.

[33:55] Can you describe that weird gone with the wind dress to me, Allie?

Hallie Haglund

[33:59] You know, it was like all had that big skirt and stuff.

Stuart Wellington

[34:03] Mm-hmm.

[34:03] Yep.

[34:04] Yep.

[34:05] I think it checks out.

[34:05] I was wearing that.

[34:07] So, of course, she is taken to heaven in this guy's arms,

[34:14] only to be brought back to Earth to terra firma

[34:17] by a voicemail from her actual boyfriend,

[34:20] who's like, I love you, babe.

[34:21] I'm not cheating on you being a jerk.

[34:23] I'm actually a good dude.

[34:25] So, she is conflicted at this point.

[34:28] But does that stop her?

[34:28] Not really.

Hallie Haglund

[34:29] She listens to it, and she's like, eh, whatever.

[34:31] And then a montage of them being together for a month.

Stuart Wellington

[34:36] She, I don't know.

[34:38] I think there's a moment where she's like, oh, that guy.

[34:42] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:44] Um, hey.

[34:45] This is sick.

[34:47] Yeah.

[34:47] Could you, we're, I mean.

Hallie Haglund

[34:51] Just maybe.

[34:52] You know.

[34:53] Take a break.

Dan McCoy

[34:53] Keeping it cash.

[34:54] Right?

[34:56] You feel the same way as me, right?

Hallie Haglund

[34:58] I mean, we're just feeling this out, right?

[35:01] Tomorrow, who knows?

[35:02] I think you're great.

[35:04] But.

[35:04] It's not.

[35:05] You know, it's just like.

[35:07] We're having fun, right?

[35:08] I mean.

Stuart Wellington

[35:11] What's with your hair?

[35:13] But.

[35:14] It's cute.

[35:14] Hey, thumbs up.

[35:15] You're a doctor.

[35:16] Don't forget that.

Hallie Haglund

[35:18] I really.

[35:19] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[35:20] Different places.

[35:24] So, he comes back.

[35:26] They have a little.

[35:26] Yeah.

[35:27] Eventually, he comes back.

[35:28] And you're like.

[35:30] You remember that she had a boyfriend.

[35:32] And.

[35:33] It's a pretty weak ass.

Dan McCoy

[35:34] Like stone that's thrown in the way of their burgeoning romance.

Stuart Wellington

[35:39] In this case, the stone is attached to a wedding.

[35:41] A engagement ring.

[35:42] Which she accepts.

Hallie Haglund

[35:43] Yeah.

[35:44] The stone is a huge diamond.

Stuart Wellington

[35:47] Yeah.

[35:48] Like, let me check out that.

Dan McCoy

[35:50] Rock.

[35:50] She briefly accepts a marriage proposal from Hamburger.

[35:56] Even though Hot Dog had really confessed his love.

[36:01] Come on.

[36:01] Come with me right now.

Hallie Haglund

[36:02] Because this was the pivotal scene.

[36:04] She gets this random call from her actual boyfriend.

[36:08] Who's like.

[36:08] Hey, I just came.

[36:09] I'm back.

[36:10] I'm back.

[36:11] Meet me at this restaurant right now.

[36:12] And she's like.

Stuart Wellington

[36:13] Meet me at like fucking Dune Chasers.

[36:15] Yeah.

[36:15] Or whatever stupid ass name that restaurant has.

[36:17] It was like.

[36:18] Driftwood Sally's.

Hallie Haglund

[36:21] And she.

[36:22] And so.

Stuart Wellington

[36:22] The hungry.

[36:24] The hungry crab.

Hallie Haglund

[36:26] The pelican sandwich.

Stuart Wellington

[36:30] Pelican sandwich.

[36:31] That's where you have two pelicans.

[36:33] And in between is a shell of a fish.

[36:38] That's their special.

Hallie Haglund

[36:40] But.

[36:40] So she was like.

[36:41] She was like.

[36:42] Um.

[36:43] And he was like.

[36:44] It's so great.

[36:44] And she was like.

[36:45] Um.

[36:46] Uh.

[36:47] Because like.

[36:47] You'll meet me there, right?

[36:48] My parents will be there.

[36:50] Um.

Stuart Wellington

[36:50] You have literally no reason to turn this invite down, right?

Hallie Haglund

[36:54] Um.

[36:55] And then the phone hangs up.

[36:56] And then she shows up.

[36:57] But.

[36:58] Guess what?

[36:58] Before she shows up.

[36:59] We see a shot.

[37:01] Of.

[37:01] Travis.

[37:03] Just.

[37:03] That's our hero.

[37:04] He's just like.

[37:05] You know.

[37:06] He's a lone wolf.

[37:07] He's a real Dylan McKay.

[37:09] If we're going to go back to our 90210 references.

[37:11] Yeah.

[37:12] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[37:12] He is a lot like Dylan.

Hallie Haglund

[37:13] And he was like.

[37:14] Eating at the bar alone.

[37:16] And then we see.

Stuart Wellington

[37:17] But didn't he.

[37:18] Right before that.

[37:20] Take a second Adirondack chair.

[37:22] Oh that's right.

[37:23] He did.

[37:24] Immediately next to his Adirondack chair.

Dan McCoy

[37:26] Did we make it clear how important.

[37:28] This was before.

Hallie Haglund

[37:29] Because she was like giving her analysis to his sister.

[37:33] I know that kind of guy.

[37:35] He's the guy that sets out one Adirondack chair.

[37:39] Because he's always the guy who sits alone.

[37:42] Mm hmm.

[37:42] Um.

[37:43] But then.

[37:44] He brought out another chair.

Dan McCoy

[37:46] Yep.

[37:46] He got a matching Adirondack chair.

Stuart Wellington

[37:50] This is going to be symbolic.

[37:51] To the people watching me do this.

Dan McCoy

[37:54] The invisible audience is going to know exactly what this means.

[37:58] Mm hmm.

Hallie Haglund

[37:58] And it was like a ladies Adirondack chair too.

[38:00] Yeah.

[38:01] It wasn't the same chair.

[38:02] Yeah.

[38:02] It was like a petite chair.

Stuart Wellington

[38:03] Yeah.

[38:04] It flares out of the hips.

[38:05] Mm hmm.

[38:06] And there's a place to store sanitary napkins.

Dan McCoy

[38:09] The buttons are on the other side of the Adirondack chair.

[38:12] Mm hmm.

[38:14] Wait.

[38:14] Which buttons?

[38:15] You know.

Stuart Wellington

[38:17] Adirondack buttons.

[38:18] Yep.

[38:19] Uh.

[38:19] So.

[38:20] Of course.

[38:21] Yeah.

[38:21] Our hero sees.

[38:23] Uh.

[38:23] The love of his life.

[38:25] Hanging out with her boyfriend.

[38:27] Being a girlfriend.

[38:28] Wait a minute.

[38:28] I totally forgot you had a boyfriend.

[38:31] Uh.

[38:32] Which is a little weird.

[38:33] Because he knew that.

[38:34] Right?

Hallie Haglund

[38:34] I mean.

[38:34] They didn't forget.

[38:35] They just.

[38:35] She brought that up.

[38:36] She was like.

[38:37] We never talked about this.

[38:38] We never said what this was.

Stuart Wellington

[38:40] Oh yeah.

[38:41] That was.

[38:41] Yeah.

[38:41] That was.

[38:42] Uh.

[38:42] It was kind of interesting.

[38:43] Because.

[38:44] Uh.

[38:44] It was.

[38:45] It was funny to see.

[38:46] Normally it's like a dude.

[38:48] Trying to make a bunch of bullshit excuses.

[38:50] In this case.

[38:50] It was her.

[38:51] Not the dude.

[38:52] Mm hmm.

[38:55] Uh.

[38:56] But.

[38:57] Did we.

[38:57] And we forgot to talk about that really great scene.

[38:59] At the.

[39:00] Uh.

[39:00] The.

[39:01] The like.

[39:01] Midway.

[39:02] The fairway.

[39:03] Where they're playing all the carnival games.

[39:05] Yeah.

[39:05] We can.

[39:05] That one that takes like fucking forever.

[39:08] Does the director think we want to watch.

[39:10] Strangers.

[39:11] Enjoy fucking carnival games for five minutes.

[39:13] Because that's crazy.

[39:15] I don't want to watch me enjoy carnival games for five minutes.

[39:20] Um.

[39:21] Yeah.

[39:21] Are we running long here Dan?

[39:23] A little bit.

[39:23] Okay.

[39:23] That's fine.

[39:24] Okay.

[39:25] So.

Hallie Haglund

[39:27] She comes in.

[39:28] He's there.

[39:29] He sees her.

[39:30] She's going to meet her boyfriend.

[39:33] Yeah.

[39:33] And his parents.

[39:34] Because he'll only apparently hang out with her.

[39:35] With her.

[39:36] With his parents.

Stuart Wellington

[39:37] Those are his only friends apparently.

Hallie Haglund

[39:39] It's really weird.

[39:40] The only time we ever see them together is with his parents.

[39:42] And then they're all like super rich and all this stuff.

[39:45] And you get all these illusions to like.

[39:47] They go to play golf together.

[39:49] Oh.

[39:50] The property where I grew up had a golf course.

[39:53] Um.

[39:53] Because she gets a hole in one.

[39:55] She's like.

[39:55] I got really good at golf.

[39:57] Uh.

[39:57] This sounds like.

[39:59] You're supposed to be rich.

[40:01] But you're actually not going to be rich.

[40:02] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[40:02] It's the laziest attempt to be like.

[40:04] She is saying things in just the right way to make you believe that she either could be a rich person.

[40:11] Or a poor person that lives on a rich person's house.

[40:14] That never got.

Dan McCoy

[40:15] But that never got picked up on.

[40:17] Right?

[40:17] Like they never resolved that.

[40:19] Yes they did.

Stuart Wellington

[40:19] I think you were making drinks.

[40:21] Okay.

[40:22] That comes up in a little bit.

[40:23] So she.

[40:24] She leaves a note for the hero.

[40:26] After they kind of have a breakup.

[40:28] And the.

[40:29] And like.

Hallie Haglund

[40:29] But that was a very romantic scene.

[40:31] When he was like.

[40:33] He was like.

[40:34] I love you.

[40:35] Come with me.

[40:36] We can walk away from all this.

[40:40] That was.

[40:41] My.

[40:41] For those romantics.

[40:43] Out there.

Stuart Wellington

[40:44] Sure.

Hallie Haglund

[40:44] I want to bookmark this scene as a thumbs up.

Stuart Wellington

[40:50] Okay.

[40:51] So just go to the DVD chapter.

[40:53] Titled.

[40:54] Click on Hallie.

[40:55] Titled.

[40:55] You bother me.

[40:58] So.

[40:59] Hallie's face with a thumbs up.

[41:02] You have a Hallie approved chapter in the menu of this movie.

[41:08] So.

[41:10] The weird part is when.

[41:11] So after that.

[41:13] It's left kind of ambiguous.

[41:14] But you believe that she has.

[41:16] Called things off with our hero.

[41:18] To be with the other guy.

[41:20] And then we see a scene.

[41:20] She sent a letter.

[41:22] Yeah.

[41:22] She leaves a letter on his Adirondack chair.

[41:25] Because that's apparently.

[41:26] Yeah.

[41:26] The center of his world.

[41:28] And he.

[41:29] He reads the letter.

[41:30] And the letter begins.

[41:31] You know.

[41:32] I broke up with him.

[41:34] And we had a huge fight.

[41:36] And he called me all these mean names and everything.

[41:39] And then.

[41:39] The next morning.

[41:40] He showed up.

[41:41] And he asked me to marry him.

[41:42] And I'm like.

[41:43] Okay.

[41:44] So.

[41:45] Sorry.

[41:46] Sure.

[41:47] So.

[41:48] She's like.

[41:49] Life is choices.

Dan McCoy

[41:50] And.

[41:51] I guess it doesn't really matter what choice you make.

Stuart Wellington

[41:54] See ya.

[41:55] Yeah.

[41:55] She's like.

[41:56] Good.

[41:56] Bad.

[41:57] Doesn't matter.

[41:58] Life keeps.

[41:59] The world keeps spinning.

[42:00] Like when I killed that bum.

[42:02] And God didn't strike me down.

[42:04] In my heart.

[42:05] I'm like.

[42:05] But that's murder.

[42:06] That's a mortal sin.

[42:07] I should be going to hell.

[42:08] But nothing happened.

[42:09] I'm invincible.

[42:11] Crimes and misdemeanors.

[42:12] You know what I mean?

[42:14] Crimes and misdemeanors.

[42:17] Misdemeanors.

Dan McCoy

[42:17] Hello.

[42:18] I'm misdemeanors.

Stuart Wellington

[42:21] Good day to you.

[42:23] I'm here to marry your son.

[42:27] Okay.

[42:29] We had a good laugh at Dan's mispronunciation of mean-yers.

[42:34] And I'm wondering why there was never a movie called Crimes and Mists of Meteors.

[42:41] Where meteors come and destroy the earth.

[42:44] With Meteor Man.

[42:46] Well, yep.

[42:47] Meteor Man was a movie.

[42:50] Okay.

[42:51] So.

[42:52] But what if there.

[42:53] What?

Hallie Haglund

[42:54] Keep going.

[42:55] There was a movie called Crimes and Mr. Meters.

[43:00] And it was where an American woman falls in love.

Stuart Wellington

[43:04] With the British man.

[43:07] Well, wait.

[43:08] Where's the crime?

[43:09] Is she a criminal?

[43:11] Is she like a cat burglar?

[43:14] She's like.

Dan McCoy

[43:15] This will never work between the two of us.

[43:17] Because I use the metric system.

[43:20] And you use the English system.

[43:22] Which is ironic.

[43:23] Because I'm English.

[43:24] I was going to say.

Hallie Haglund

[43:26] And then she's like.

[43:28] No, it'll work.

[43:28] And then he killed her.

[43:29] And that was the crime.

Stuart Wellington

[43:32] Okay.

[43:34] And he chops her body up into meter sized pieces.

[43:37] Oh.

[43:38] They're pretty big pieces.

[43:42] Into meatier pieces.

[43:46] Because her body's made of meat.

[43:48] Yeah.

[43:48] So.

[43:51] So.

[43:52] So.

[43:52] We're greeted to a brief sequence.

[43:55] Where.

[43:57] Our.

[43:58] Our heroes.

[43:59] Gabby.

[44:00] And Travis.

[44:01] Spend some time with.

[44:03] The.

[44:03] Their other.

[44:05] You know.

[44:06] Other lovers.

[44:08] And.

[44:09] We think they're just going to keep moving on.

[44:11] And then eventually.

[44:11] Like.

[44:12] Relatively quickly.

[44:13] Travis comes to his senses.

[44:15] He has a nice.

[44:16] Loving.

[44:17] Conversation.

[44:17] With his ex-girlfriend.

[44:18] Who's like.

[44:19] Oh.

[44:20] You should get back with her dude.

[44:22] Okay.

[44:22] He'll never look at me that way.

[44:25] She's like.

[44:25] I'm going to go off.

[44:26] And.

[44:27] Kill myself.

[44:27] Because there's no other.

[44:29] Sorry about that guys.

[44:30] Trigger warning.

[44:31] I guess.

[44:32] But.

[44:33] It feels like there's no other.

[44:35] Eligible single men.

[44:36] In this town.

[44:37] Even.

[44:38] His.

[44:38] Even Travis's fucking dad.

[44:40] Played by Tom Wilkinson.

[44:41] As a girlfriend.

[44:42] By the end of this movie.

Hallie Haglund

[44:42] I guess there were a lot of puppies recently born.

[44:44] And we don't know the.

[44:46] Sex is either.

Stuart Wellington

[44:47] So you can date those puppies.

[44:48] Is that what you're saying?

Hallie Haglund

[44:50] This thing is.

[44:51] It's a possibility.

[44:52] Is what I'm saying.

Stuart Wellington

[44:54] It's just a different style of love.

[44:56] You know.

[44:57] Uh huh.

[44:58] Who are we to say what's moral?

[45:00] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[45:00] Remember his like.

[45:01] Definition of love.

[45:02] It was all about how that dog moved his head.

Stuart Wellington

[45:04] Yep.

[45:05] His definition.

[45:06] When describing religion.

[45:08] Or his belief in God.

[45:09] He mentions his dog loving him back.

[45:11] By pushing his head against his hand.

[45:14] Um.

[45:14] So of course.

[45:15] Uh.

[45:16] Travis and.

[45:17] Uh.

[45:17] Gabby decide to get together.

[45:20] Uh.

[45:20] He gets punched in the face by.

[45:22] Hamburger.

[45:23] The doctor.

[45:24] Yeah.

[45:24] And then.

[45:25] Uh.

[45:25] We are greeted to a montage.

[45:27] Of.

[45:28] Uh.

[45:28] That.

[45:29] Her getting pregnant.

Dan McCoy

[45:30] Well.

[45:30] I do want to.

[45:31] I want to speed up a little bit.

[45:33] So we can get to the end of this.

[45:34] But I don't want to skip over the fact.

[45:36] That where.

[45:37] Uh.

[45:37] Hot dog.

[45:38] You know.

[45:39] Uh.

[45:40] Proposes to Gabby.

[45:42] And it's in the scene where he's like.

[45:44] He comes in.

[45:45] He bursts in on.

[45:47] Her at.

[45:47] Her parents house.

[45:49] Yes.

[45:49] Okay.

[45:50] And her parents are like.

[45:51] Oh.

[45:52] It's clear to me.

[45:53] It's clear from the moment that he walked in.

[45:55] That you were in love with him.

[45:57] No.

[45:58] I don't want to marry him.

[45:59] And he's.

[45:59] No.

[46:00] No.

[46:00] And like.

[46:01] The mom's like.

[46:01] Here.

[46:02] Take.

[46:02] Uh.

[46:03] Grant your grandmother's ring.

[46:04] To propose to him.

Stuart Wellington

[46:05] That I'm wearing around my neck.

[46:06] On a chain.

Dan McCoy

[46:07] Yeah.

[46:08] No.

[46:08] I don't want to marry him.

[46:10] Yeah.

[46:10] It was like.

[46:11] They're all set up for it.

Stuart Wellington

[46:12] Yeah.

[46:12] Like.

[46:13] They were all prepped.

[46:14] And I.

[46:14] Even though.

[46:14] But that was the scene that you were talking about.

[46:16] Because that was the scene where he comes in.

[46:18] And he starts asking for permission to marry Gabby.

[46:20] But he's asking the family who own the property.

[46:23] Not her family.

[46:24] The people who work on the property.

[46:25] Because he always thought she was rich.

[46:27] Oh.

Stuart Wellington

[46:27] Okay.

[46:27] Yeah.

[46:28] He thought she was rich because of her stuck up snobby ways.

[46:30] Because she could play golf.

Dan McCoy

[46:32] And you know.

[46:32] And she's blonde.

[46:33] Yeah.

[46:34] All right.

[46:35] So I missed that.

[46:35] But the.

[46:36] But the point is like.

[46:37] No parents in the world have ever acted that way.

[46:40] If their daughter is like.

[46:41] No.

[46:42] I don't want to marry you.

[46:42] They're going to be like.

[46:44] I think you should leave.

[46:45] Mm-hmm.

[46:46] Sir.

Stuart Wellington

[46:47] I think the thing about those parents is they're like.

[46:49] There's no other eligible men in this universe of this movie.

[46:53] Yeah.

[46:54] So you got to snatch this guy up.

[46:55] Because there's plenty of other women.

[46:58] Those bikini ladies.

[47:00] Yeah.

[47:01] Probably one of the people at the veterinarian clinic.

Hallie Haglund

[47:04] The secretary at the veterinary clinic.

[47:07] She was a lonely heart.

Stuart Wellington

[47:09] Presumably single.

[47:10] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[47:12] Presumably.

[47:12] You're right.

[47:12] But I will say that.

[47:14] I feel like our conversation about this.

[47:17] Very much mirrors how we felt about this.

[47:19] Which is that we've spent a ton of time.

[47:21] Up until this point.

[47:22] Talking about this.

[47:23] And we're getting to this point where.

[47:25] Like.

[47:25] Oh.

[47:26] And then he proposed to her.

[47:28] And.

[47:28] Then.

[47:29] Like.

[47:29] It worked out.

[47:30] Yeah.

[47:30] And then you're like.

[47:31] Oh my god.

[47:32] There's like.

[47:33] At least 40 minutes more of this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[47:36] That was the moment where we were given high fives.

[47:38] And we're like.

[47:39] Oh yeah.

[47:39] Let's start recording this podcast.

[47:40] Yeah.

[47:40] And then Dan paused it.

[47:42] Paused it.

[47:42] When you see the little.

[47:44] Progress bar.

[47:45] Our hearts sank.

[47:49] Because.

[47:51] Of course.

[47:52] We are greeted to this montage.

[47:53] Of them getting older together.

[47:55] But not getting older at all.

[47:56] They look exactly the same.

[47:57] Yeah.

[47:57] Their haircuts don't change.

[47:59] They don't get it.

[48:00] Grow any facial hair.

[48:01] She certainly doesn't grow facial hair.

[48:03] They.

[48:04] They.

[48:05] Create a couple of children.

[48:06] Who grow to about the age of.

[48:09] They grow them.

[48:10] Yep.

[48:10] They grow to the age of.

[48:13] Eleven years.

[48:14] That's incorrect.

[48:15] Seven years.

[48:16] Maybe.

[48:16] At the most.

[48:17] The oldest is like.

[48:19] Ten.

[48:20] Probably.

[48:21] Ten and below.

[48:22] Yeah.

[48:23] Ten and below.

[48:24] So they have these kids.

[48:26] And then.

[48:27] They're supposed to have.

[48:28] A.

[48:28] A romantic dinner date.

[48:30] And of course.

[48:31] Uh.

[48:31] He is kept late.

[48:32] At the veterinarian clinic.

[48:34] Because of this sick cat.

[48:36] The villain of the movie.

[48:37] A cat that I can only assume.

[48:38] Was poisoned.

[48:39] By the evil doctor.

[48:40] Uh.

[48:41] Hamburger.

[48:42] And.

[48:43] Uh.

[48:43] So he is kept late.

[48:45] And she.

[48:45] Feeding it.

[48:46] A hamburger.

[48:47] Yep.

[48:48] So she.

[48:49] Has.

[48:50] Uh.

[48:51] I guess she gets sick of waiting for him.

[48:52] At the restaurant.

[48:54] And so she.

[48:54] Yeah.

[48:55] And it's a different restaurant.

Hallie Haglund

[48:56] Because he always stands her up.

[48:57] Because he works such long hours.

[48:59] And she's given up her career.

[49:01] Apparently.

[49:01] So.

Stuart Wellington

[49:02] You know.

[49:03] The thing is.

[49:03] Hallie.

[49:04] Being a mom.

[49:05] Is the toughest job.

[49:06] You'll ever love.

Hallie Haglund

[49:08] I'm not laughing.

[49:09] Because I don't think it's true.

[49:10] I'm laughing.

[49:10] Because it is true.

Stuart Wellington

[49:13] That's why.

[49:14] It's funny.

[49:14] You're laughing.

[49:14] Because you're heartless.

[49:15] It's like a Jerry Seinfeld sort of thing.

[49:17] No.

[49:18] It's like.

[49:18] What's the deal with these moms?

[49:20] Exactly.

[49:20] It's like.

[49:21] It's a laugh of recognition.

[49:23] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[49:23] Exactly.

[49:24] Like.

[49:25] Laughter to you moms.

[49:27] I'm with you.

Stuart Wellington

[49:28] It's a solidarity laugh.

[49:30] Yeah.

[49:30] So.

[49:31] Of course.

[49:32] She gets in a car.

[49:34] It's raining.

[49:36] That is code for.

[49:37] Accident.

[49:39] A car smashes into her.

[49:40] And we get a slow motion shot of her.

[49:42] Flying around in the car.

[49:43] And her phone exploding.

[49:45] No.

[49:45] Not her phone.

Hallie Haglund

[49:46] Her face is.

[49:47] Still seems perfectly intact.

[49:49] Yeah.

[49:49] But her phone got pretty messed up.

[49:51] Little do we know.

[49:52] It was not her phone in a coma.

Stuart Wellington

[49:55] Yeah.

[49:55] It's a Dorian Gray situation.

[49:57] Where her phone reflects the state of her.

[50:00] Her physical damage.

[50:02] As opposed to her body.

[50:03] Dan.

[50:03] Just like Dorian Gray.

[50:04] Oh.

[50:04] Okay.

[50:05] I get it now.

[50:06] Yeah.

[50:07] Yeah.

[50:08] Well I'll put you on training wheels.

[50:09] For this one.

[50:10] So.

[50:12] Then we get to watch.

[50:14] A long period of time.

[50:17] Upwards of 90 days.

[50:18] Where her character is.

[50:20] In a coma.

[50:21] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[50:22] Well Hallie had joked.

[50:23] At the beginning of the movie.

[50:24] When we.

[50:24] We.

[50:25] When we were going.

[50:26] Into the hospital.

[50:28] That the choice.

[50:29] That he would have to make.

[50:30] Was.

[50:31] Whether to pull the plug.

[50:32] Or not.

[50:33] Because she knew.

[50:34] The title of the film.

[50:35] Mm-hmm.

[50:36] She.

[50:36] How right she was.

[50:38] And then it turned out.

Stuart Wellington

[50:39] Like that was the choice.

[50:41] I thought the choice.

[50:41] Was between the two boys.

[50:43] No.

[50:44] Hamburger boy.

[50:44] Or hot dog boy.

Hallie Haglund

[50:45] The choice was.

[50:46] He was.

[50:46] They were.

[50:48] Standing in front of his mother's grave.

[50:49] Being like.

[50:50] I just can't.

[50:51] Pull the plug.

[50:52] Mama.

Stuart Wellington

[50:53] I don't want to pull the plug.

[50:55] Mama.

[50:56] And then like an apparition.

[50:57] His sister appears behind him.

Hallie Haglund

[50:59] I got a wig.

[51:02] But I think you're right.

Dan McCoy

[51:03] My wig is telling me to pull it.

[51:05] Pull that plug.

Hallie Haglund

[51:06] But my heart is telling me.

[51:08] Not too.

[51:09] There's a lot of heart versus head versus wig.

[51:12] Yeah.

[51:12] That's fair.

[51:12] Narratives throughout this.

Dan McCoy

[51:14] So we.

[51:15] At this point.

[51:16] Like in Shakespeare.

[51:17] That was the classic Shakespearean conflict.

[51:19] Heart versus head versus wig.

[51:21] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[51:21] Yeah.

[51:22] I mean.

[51:22] There are a lot of wigs.

[51:24] In Shakespeare.

[51:25] Or in the movie.

[51:27] I think both.

[51:28] Yeah.

[51:28] Both.

[51:29] Probably.

[51:30] So we.

[51:32] Yeah.

[51:32] It comes down to a situation.

[51:34] Where Travis.

[51:35] Is trying to decide whether or not.

[51:37] He should pull the plug.

[51:38] On his wife.

[51:40] Who is in a coma.

[51:41] Uh.

[51:41] He is being urged to do it.

[51:43] By.

[51:44] Uh.

[51:44] His wife's.

[51:45] Ex-fiance.

[51:47] Which is suspect.

[51:48] If you ask me.

[51:49] He shouldn't be the one giving that kind of counsel.

Hallie Haglund

[51:51] But you.

[51:51] But.

[51:52] But.

[51:52] I just want you guys to know.

[51:53] He was not.

[51:55] He was compassionate.

Stuart Wellington

[51:56] He was still a good dude.

Hallie Haglund

[51:57] He was still a good dude.

[51:59] He had.

[51:59] At that point.

[52:00] He had his own family.

[52:01] Because remember.

[52:02] They were like.

[52:02] Talking about their kids.

[52:04] Yeah.

[52:04] I paid a lot more attention to this movie.

[52:06] Than either Stuart or Dan did.

Stuart Wellington

[52:07] You don't think that he might still be holding onto a torch.

[52:11] Secretly.

[52:12] Like.

Hallie Haglund

[52:12] Maybe he did.

[52:12] But he's definitely not.

Stuart Wellington

[52:14] So he's like.

[52:15] Murderer.

[52:15] Yeah.

[52:16] Like every night she wakes up.

[52:18] And he bonks her on the head with a rolling pin.

Dan McCoy

[52:20] He has a coconut that he drops on me.

Hallie Haglund

[52:25] She was like fine when she got here.

[52:29] And why is she also in like still the emergency ward.

[52:33] Right?

[52:33] Because that's where he works.

[52:35] Oh yeah.

[52:37] I mean.

Stuart Wellington

[52:39] It's kind of an emergency.

[52:40] It's a life or death situation Hallie.

[52:43] So.

[52:44] He.

[52:45] Travis.

[52:46] After their houses are destroyed by hurricane.

[52:49] Which hurricane?

[52:50] Do they name it?

[52:52] Cassandy.

[52:53] Cassandy.

[52:54] Yep.

[52:55] From.

[52:56] Name taken from the ancient Greek mythology.

[52:59] And.

[53:00] He.

[53:01] Takes the pieces of her house.

[53:04] That like.

[53:04] Her like.

[53:05] Porch.

[53:05] That washed up.

[53:06] And he.

[53:07] He.

[53:08] He.

[53:08] Takes a boat out to her.

[53:09] Oh that was her house?

[53:10] I think it was her.

[53:10] I think that was his house.

[53:11] It was one of their houses.

[53:13] Oh.

[53:13] Doesn't matter.

[53:14] He goes out to a little.

[53:15] To the little island that he.

[53:17] Apparently discovered.

[53:18] Owns.

[53:19] He owns.

[53:19] His grandfather willed it to him.

[53:21] Oh.

[53:22] You did pay better attention than I did.

[53:25] And he builds a little chuppa.

[53:27] Or a.

[53:29] Gazebo or something.

[53:30] In her honor.

[53:32] In her honor.

[53:34] He hears the.

[53:36] Seashell.

[53:38] Wind chimes.

[53:38] Wind chimes that she used.

[53:41] There's life in them there shells yet.

[53:43] That means.

[53:44] There's life in my wife.

Hallie Haglund

[53:46] He did.

[53:47] He heard them because the dog found him.

[53:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[53:50] That was the second miracle.

[53:51] The hearing the thing.

[53:52] The first miracle was the dog finding them.

[53:54] After.

[53:55] Oh no.

[53:55] Dogs find all kinds of shit dude.

Hallie Haglund

[53:57] But the dog had never gone in the water.

[53:59] That's the thing.

[54:00] Oh.

[54:00] So.

[54:01] That's why he's like.

[54:01] Why are you in the water?

[54:03] You hate swimming.

[54:04] And he like.

[54:05] Had to like.

[54:05] Carry him all the time on the boat.

[54:06] Oh.

[54:07] Anyway.

Dan McCoy

[54:07] The point is.

[54:07] He rushes to the hospital.

[54:09] And lo and behold.

[54:10] What the.

[54:11] She's awake.

Stuart Wellington

[54:12] And.

[54:13] And.

[54:14] She'd been listening the whole time she was in the comfort.

Dan McCoy

[54:16] Yeah.

[54:16] She'd heard every.

[54:17] Word he said.

Hallie Haglund

[54:18] And she stayed flawless.

[54:21] Even though she stayed in a bed for that long.

[54:24] And so.

Dan McCoy

[54:25] The choice he made was the right choice.

[54:28] Not to.

[54:29] Pull the plug.

[54:29] Pull the murder.

[54:30] Murder his wife.

[54:30] Yeah.

[54:30] That would have been fucked up dude.

Stuart Wellington

[54:31] That would have been like a.

[54:33] Like a tales from the crypt.

[54:34] Yeah.

[54:35] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[54:37] That would be a weird.

[54:38] Like.

[54:38] How would you indicate though.

[54:40] Like.

[54:40] It would just have to be the crypt keeper coming on afterwards.

[54:42] Like.

[54:43] She would have woken up the next day.

[54:46] I mean.

[54:46] See you later guys.

Stuart Wellington

[54:47] The way he would have indicated is.

[54:49] He would have had to like.

[54:50] Cut to her perspective.

[54:51] And her like.

[54:52] Screaming.

[54:52] And her bangling head.

Dan McCoy

[54:54] No.

[54:55] Don't.

[54:56] I'm about to.

[54:57] God.

[54:58] No.

[54:58] I can feel myself waking up.

Hallie Haglund

[55:01] That's like the scariest tales from the crypt.

[55:03] I remember seeing when I was little.

[55:05] Was that like.

[55:05] Do you guys remember that one where it was.

[55:07] The priest.

[55:08] Had the relationship with some woman.

[55:11] And.

[55:12] He like.

[55:12] Fake killed her.

[55:13] And she was given some drug.

[55:15] Uh huh.

[55:15] That she would wake up.

[55:16] Days later.

[55:17] All right.

[55:17] But then he got put in prison.

[55:19] And so he was supposed to like.

[55:21] Or he got knocked out or something.

[55:23] And he was supposed to like.

[55:23] Dig her up.

[55:24] Coconuts.

[55:24] And then she woke up in the coffin.

[55:28] Banging on the coffin.

Stuart Wellington

[55:29] Yeah.

[55:29] The.

[55:29] What is it.

[55:30] Ginny and Paolo from Lost.

[55:32] Is that.

[55:33] Oh yeah.

[55:33] One of those characters.

[55:34] That had the same thing.

[55:35] Where it's like.

[55:36] The same sort of shit.

[55:36] I like that episode.

[55:37] It was the best episode.

[55:39] Uh.

[55:40] After the first two seasons.

[55:41] Of that show.

[55:42] I would argue.

[55:43] Everyone.

[55:43] Everyone hated that stuff.

[55:45] But I love that.

[55:46] Yeah.

[55:46] Because.

[55:46] Tales from the Chris.

[55:47] Because at that point.

[55:48] In that series.

[55:49] Everyone was like.

[55:51] Let's get to the ending of the story.

[55:52] And I'm like.

[55:53] It's gonna be shitty dude.

[55:55] The ending's just gonna be purgatory man.

[55:57] Why are you getting so worked up?

[55:58] Just enjoy this weird bottle episode.

Hallie Haglund

[56:01] Actually I think I was talking about a Nightmare on Elm Street.

[56:04] What?

[56:05] Episode.

Stuart Wellington

[56:06] The episode of Freddy's Nightmares.

[56:08] The TV show?

Hallie Haglund

[56:09] There was a TV show.

[56:10] That I was talking about.

[56:11] That was either.

[56:12] Tales from the Crypt or Nightmare on Elm Street.

[56:13] It could be.

Stuart Wellington

[56:14] What about Tales from the Dark Side?

[56:16] Or Night Gallery?

Hallie Haglund

[56:18] Um.

[56:18] I'm sure.

Dan McCoy

[56:18] What about the new.

[56:21] Uh.

[56:21] Twilight Zone.

Hallie Haglund

[56:22] No.

[56:22] You know what it was?

[56:23] It was.

[56:24] Uh.

[56:24] Goosebumps.

Dan McCoy

[56:28] It was so much lamer than we could have imagined.

Hallie Haglund

[56:32] No.

[56:32] I'm just kidding.

[56:33] I don't remember what it was.

[56:34] But.

[56:34] You know.

Stuart Wellington

[56:35] That's all.

[56:36] Do your research guys.

Hallie Haglund

[56:37] Hey.

[56:38] This week's challenge.

[56:39] Guys.

[56:40] Figure out what I was talking about.

Dan McCoy

[56:43] Uh.

[56:43] That's kind of how I feel like all these episodes are.

[56:46] So guys.

[56:47] We should get on to a final judgment spot this movie.

[56:49] Whether it was a good bad movie.

[56:50] A bad bad movie.

[56:51] Or a movie kind of like.

[56:53] You know what.

[56:54] I've got conflicted feelings.

[56:55] So I'm gonna go first.

[56:56] Mmhmm.

[56:58] I really don't know how to rate this film.

[57:02] It wasn't good.

[57:04] I wouldn't say I liked it.

[57:07] I didn't laugh at it.

[57:08] But at the same time.

[57:09] Like.

[57:09] I actually like.

[57:10] Watched the whole thing.

[57:12] Like I.

[57:13] I.

[57:14] It was.

[57:15] It was pleasant enough.

Stuart Wellington

[57:16] You did the bare minimum.

[57:17] Of what our listeners expect out of us.

Dan McCoy

[57:19] No.

[57:19] But it was like.

[57:19] It was pleasant enough.

[57:20] There was barely any story to it.

[57:22] Like.

Hallie Haglund

[57:22] You can get bored.

[57:23] And like.

[57:24] I wasn't bored.

[57:25] I mean.

[57:26] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[57:27] No.

[57:27] The main problem with the movie.

[57:28] Was just like.

[57:28] There was barely.

[57:29] Enough story for like.

[57:31] 20 minutes.

[57:32] Let alone.

[57:32] Two hours.

[57:33] But.

[57:34] I mean.

[57:34] Like.

[57:35] The worst I can say about this movie.

[57:36] Is.

[57:37] I didn't cry.

[57:39] And like.

[57:40] Making me cry.

[57:41] Is like shooting fish in a barrel.

[57:42] Like.

[57:42] It really should have.

[57:43] Like.

[57:45] Like.

[57:45] If there was going to be like.

[57:46] A tragic romance.

[57:47] Where.

[57:47] At the end.

[57:48] Like.

[57:49] The woman comes out of the coma.

[57:50] And everything turns out all right.

[57:52] Like.

[57:52] I should be in tears by the end.

[57:54] And that.

[57:55] I didn't come anywhere close to that.

[57:57] So.

[57:58] I guess it's not a good movie.

[57:59] Because it didn't do.

[58:00] Like.

[58:00] What it's built to do.

[58:02] But at the same time.

[58:02] I didn't hate this film.

[58:04] Mm-hmm.

[58:04] So.

[58:05] I just don't know what.

[58:06] I don't know how to rate it.

[58:07] I can't.

[58:07] I can't put a.

Stuart Wellington

[58:09] Name on it.

[58:10] You know.

[58:10] I'm going to say.

[58:10] It's a.

[58:11] I'm going to say.

[58:11] It's a bad, bad movie.

[58:12] Okay.

[58:12] And I'm going to tie it in with.

[58:15] That.

[58:16] A couple days ago.

[58:17] We.

[58:18] Were having a conversation.

[58:19] On another podcast.

[58:20] With our pal.

[58:21] Jubin.

[58:22] Who was talking.

[58:22] A friend of the podcast.

[58:23] Jubin Prang.

[58:24] Who was.

[58:26] Talking about.

[58:27] How he watches.

[58:29] TV shows.

[58:30] At.

[58:31] One and a half.

[58:32] To two times speed.

[58:34] We all thought.

[58:35] He was a crazy person.

[58:37] For doing that.

[58:37] This was totally.

[58:38] I was thinking.

[58:39] This is totally.

[58:40] The sort of thing.

[58:41] You could watch.

[58:41] At that speed.

[58:42] And.

[58:43] It would be.

[58:44] Perfect.

[58:45] Like.

[58:45] You would.

[58:46] Zip through it.

[58:47] There's so much filler.

[58:49] There's definitely.

[58:49] An attempt.

[58:50] To like.

[58:51] Set.

[58:51] A.

[58:52] Scene.

[58:53] Or.

[58:54] Give you.

[58:54] A feeling.

[58:55] Or a longing.

[58:56] For an environment.

[58:57] But there's just.

[58:58] So little effort.

[58:59] To really establish.

[59:01] The beauty.

[59:01] Of these scenes.

[59:03] Because as I said before.

[59:04] Every shot.

[59:04] Is so tight.

[59:05] On things.

[59:06] So.

[59:07] It.

[59:07] It just feels.

[59:08] Cramped.

[59:08] All the time.

[59:09] And it should be.

[59:11] Way faster.

[59:11] This movie.

[59:12] Did not need to be.

[59:13] Nearly this long.

[59:15] So bad bad movie.

[59:16] From.

[59:17] Stewart.

Hallie Haglund

[59:18] So wait.

[59:19] It's bad bad movie.

Stuart Wellington

[59:20] Good bad.

[59:21] Or movie you kind of like.

Hallie Haglund

[59:23] I think it's a movie.

[59:24] I kind of liked.

[59:26] Because.

[59:27] I totally agree with you.

[59:28] It was way longer.

[59:29] Than it needed to be.

[59:31] It was boring.

[59:32] In a lot of places.

[59:33] And like.

[59:34] The story.

[59:35] Wasn't ultimately.

[59:36] That interesting.

[59:36] But then.

[59:37] In those scenes.

[59:39] I was like.

[59:41] In.

[59:42] It was like a.

[59:43] Dog whistle.

[59:44] That.

[59:45] I never lost.

[59:46] Interest enough.

[59:47] That like.

[59:48] When those.

[59:48] Dramatic scenes.

[59:50] Happened.

[59:50] I was like.

[59:52] I was like.

[59:52] Okay.

[59:52] I'm in this.

[59:53] I'm in this with you.

[59:54] And like.

[59:55] I get it.

[59:57] And I felt that like.

[59:59] When.

[59:59] When she was like.

[1:00:01] I heard you.

[1:00:02] The whole time.

[1:00:03] I was like.

[1:00:04] This whole.

[1:00:05] These two hours.

[1:00:07] Just.

[1:00:08] Made sense.

[1:00:10] Now that I know that.

[1:00:11] I can rest easy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:13] That's why.

[1:00:13] When I came back.

[1:00:14] From the bathroom.

[1:00:15] Because I was using the bathroom.

[1:00:16] At the climax of the movie.

[1:00:18] Allie's like.

[1:00:20] She heard him the whole time.

[1:00:21] She heard him the whole time.

Hallie Haglund

[1:00:24] So yeah.

[1:00:25] I kind of like this movie.

[1:00:26] It was boring for a lot of it.

[1:00:27] And I was like.

[1:00:28] I can't believe you're taking.

[1:00:29] This much time.

[1:00:30] And.

[1:00:31] But.

[1:00:32] I was like.

[1:00:33] All of like.

[1:00:34] The.

[1:00:35] Heart string episode.

[1:00:37] Or.

[1:00:37] Scenes.

[1:00:38] I was like.

[1:00:38] Definitely into.

[1:00:39] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:40] Your heart strings were plucked.

Hallie Haglund

[1:00:41] They were.

[1:00:42] They were strong.

[1:00:43] My heart strings were strong.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:44] So we have.

[1:00:45] Kind of a mixed review.

[1:00:46] On.

[1:00:47] The choice.

[1:00:49] So what's the next part of this podcast.

[1:00:51] Dan.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:52] The next part is.

[1:00:53] We've got a few.

[1:00:55] Notes from our sponsors.

[1:00:58] A little.

[1:00:58] Flophouse housekeeping.

[1:01:00] Yeah.

[1:01:00] That's right.

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[1:01:24] You should.

[1:01:26] Squarespace.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:27] Just do it man.

[1:01:28] Why don't you.

[1:01:29] What kind of.

[1:01:30] What kind of.

[1:01:31] Website are you going to be setting up lately.

[1:01:33] Hallie.

[1:01:34] Normally when.

[1:01:34] Allie is here.

[1:01:35] He gets super excited about his latest website products.

[1:01:38] That he is going to be marketing.

Hallie Haglund

[1:01:40] I'm going to be just trying to figure out.

[1:01:46] How do.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:49] Yes.

[1:01:50] And.

Hallie Haglund

[1:01:51] I know nothing about the internet.

[1:01:53] I can't.

[1:01:54] I like.

[1:01:55] That would be perfect.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:55] Squarespace would be great for you.

Hallie Haglund

[1:01:57] Well I forgot my password to the cloud.

[1:02:00] Like four years ago.

[1:02:02] And I know there's so much stuff on there.

[1:02:04] That I probably want.

[1:02:05] But.

[1:02:06] So that would be my first step.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:08] So your first step would be.

[1:02:09] To find out your password to the cloud.

[1:02:11] Yeah.

[1:02:11] But it also sounds like.

[1:02:12] Squarespace would be a great product for you.

[1:02:14] Because.

[1:02:14] You don't have to know how to code.

[1:02:16] You can use.

[1:02:17] It has responsive design.

[1:02:18] So your website.

[1:02:19] But like.

Hallie Haglund

[1:02:20] What would I even have a site about?

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:22] It could be about.

[1:02:23] It could be a Hallie Hagelin site.

[1:02:24] It could be a dance site.

[1:02:25] But why would that exist?

[1:02:26] Mm hmm.

[1:02:27] It could be.

[1:02:27] Why would you set up a Hallie Hagelin fan site.

[1:02:30] For yourself?

Hallie Haglund

[1:02:31] I mean.

[1:02:31] It just seems like.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:32] Be a place to post.

[1:02:33] I don't know.

[1:02:34] Hallie Hagelin news.

[1:02:35] Yeah.

[1:02:36] Hallie Hagelin news.

[1:02:37] Sightings.

[1:02:37] Breaking news.

Hallie Haglund

[1:02:38] I picked up my CSA.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:43] Maybe like a quiz section.

[1:02:45] Like.

[1:02:45] Did I pick up my CSA?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:47] What did you ask me with your CSA?

Hallie Haglund

[1:02:51] Salad.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:52] There you go.

[1:02:53] That could be a site.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:54] Yep.

[1:02:55] Hallie Hagelin salad site.

[1:02:56] All right.

Hallie Haglund

[1:02:56] Yeah.

[1:02:57] It's probably good for people.

[1:02:59] This sounds cool for people who are.

[1:03:02] Have.

[1:03:02] This sounds like a great website.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:05] Design.

[1:03:06] It's a great product.

[1:03:07] Yes.

[1:03:08] I with you.

[1:03:08] And they've been a long time supporter of the podcast.

[1:03:10] So go check them out.

[1:03:11] So thank.

[1:03:12] Squarespace.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:15] Build it beautiful.

[1:03:17] Flop house.

[1:03:17] Flop house is sponsored by Casper mattresses.

[1:03:21] An online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price.

[1:03:25] They offer an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price.

[1:03:30] It's risk free.

[1:03:32] You've got a risk free trial.

[1:03:34] And you can try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days with a free delivery and painless returns

[1:03:41] if you do not like your mattress.

[1:03:43] They're made in America.

[1:03:44] So you're supporting American made goods.

[1:03:46] Pricing is $500 for a twin size mattress and $950 for a king size mattress.

[1:03:52] Wow.

[1:03:53] Which is amazing compared to the mattresses you normally find in your big mattress stores.

[1:04:00] Flop house listeners can get $50 toward any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com

[1:04:07] slash flop and using promo code flop at checkout.

[1:04:12] Terms and conditions apply.

[1:04:13] Now I sleep.

[1:04:15] You're a personal.

[1:04:16] On a Casper mattress.

[1:04:17] Yeah, you're a user.

[1:04:18] And I have no complaints, sir.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:21] No complaints.

[1:04:22] No joke.

[1:04:23] Before you got that Casper mattress.

[1:04:25] I was a toss in.

[1:04:26] I was a turn in.

[1:04:26] You used to sleep on a couple of garbage bags filled with old clothes.

[1:04:30] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:30] And let me tell you, this is better than that.

[1:04:33] What kind of promotion is that?

[1:04:35] Oh, this is better than sleeping on those spikes that I used to sleep on.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:40] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:04:44] You did used to sleep on spikes, I guess.

[1:04:46] That was part of your training to be a yogi like Dalsim.

[1:04:50] I slept on a bunch of old AIDS needles.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:57] That's crazy.

Hallie Haglund

[1:04:59] Why would you do that?

[1:05:00] You shouldn't have done that.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:01] I don't know why I did that.

Hallie Haglund

[1:05:03] How did you know there were specifically AIDS needles?

Dan McCoy

[1:05:07] I had them tested and then I still slept on them.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:10] Yeah, that's crazy.

[1:05:12] You would think that's really irresponsible, the hospital.

[1:05:15] You'd think they would just keep them and not take them away.

[1:05:17] And before that, weren't you sleeping on a bunch of old Reader's Digest that were kind

[1:05:22] of stacked up in the shape of a woman?

[1:05:25] I cuddled them for company.

[1:05:28] Now, and all those things, not as good as that Casper mattress that you're sleeping on.

[1:05:31] They came in a tiny little box and then exploded all over your heart.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:35] Yeah.

[1:05:35] Let me tell you, I feel like we're downplaying how comfortable Casper mattresses are by putting

[1:05:41] them up against the worst things you could sleep on.

[1:05:43] Damning with faint praise.

Hallie Haglund

[1:05:45] I slept on a cloud once and I haven't slept on a Casper mattress, but I bet it's more

[1:05:51] comfortable than that cloud.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:53] You haven't been on that cloud in a while because you forgot your password.

Hallie Haglund

[1:05:56] Exactly.

[1:05:57] That is weird that you have to have a password to sleep on those.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:03] No, I love it.

[1:06:04] It makes sense.

[1:06:06] All kidding aside, I do sleep on a Casper mattress.

[1:06:10] It is a delight.

[1:06:11] I sleep well on that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:14] And using the promo code, if you guys need a mattress, you can get a sweet discount on

[1:06:17] it.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:17] What is that?

[1:06:18] 50 bucks?

[1:06:19] 50 bucks off a Casper mattress.

[1:06:21] Awesome.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:23] So we also got a couple of Jumbotron messages today.

[1:06:26] The first one is from another podcast.

[1:06:30] Now, you're probably wondering, hey, Stuart, you're always bugging people.

[1:06:34] Listen to the Flophouse.

[1:06:37] And I do bug you about that.

[1:06:38] You should listen to the Flophouse because it's a great podcast.

[1:06:41] But I'd also like you to check out another podcast called

[1:06:43] Why Do You Care?

[1:06:45] And you can find that on iTunes and wherever other podcasts are found.

[1:06:50] We'd like to invite you to go check those guys out.

[1:06:53] It features an American and a Brit.

[1:06:55] And the Brit, in this case, has a super sultry voice.

[1:06:58] Discussing everything from superheroes to rom-coms to fan fiction.

[1:07:03] I put emphasis on rom-coms because this is the episode about the choice.

[1:07:08] Will and Katie, those are the hosts, try to figure out what makes media good and why the

[1:07:12] hell they care so much.

[1:07:14] If you're interested in another podcast about movies, TV, and books, which is a totally original

[1:07:19] idea that they came up with by themselves, I guess they have a patent on it.

[1:07:23] So I guess we're going to be paying them royalties.

[1:07:26] Then you can find them at, just by searching Why Do You Care at iTunes or anywhere else.

[1:07:32] So why don't you go check those guys out.

[1:07:35] And we have one more Jumbotron message today.

[1:07:39] And I'm going to pull it up on my phone.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:44] Hear it.

[1:07:46] Jumbotron.

[1:07:47] Just vamp for a second.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:48] Jumbotron message.

[1:07:51] Okay.

[1:07:53] Thank you for vamping there for a second, guys.

[1:07:55] This is a message for Allie, last name withheld.

[1:07:59] And the message is from Jared, similar last name withheld, not the subway guy.

[1:08:05] Thank you for clarifying.

[1:08:08] Two years ago, you married me and became the luckiest woman I know.

[1:08:13] Happy anniversary, and I love you lots.

[1:08:16] Also, that area of my back that I can't reach itches.

[1:08:20] Could you itch it?

[1:08:22] Thanks.

[1:08:22] I'll love you forever.

[1:08:24] Last thing.

[1:08:25] I cheaped out on a gift, so you're entitled to a threesome involving one of the Flophouse guys.

[1:08:31] Your choice.

[1:08:32] I'm impartial.

[1:08:33] Now, reading that, is that some form of verbal agreement or contract?

[1:08:39] Yeah, I guess we're bound to that somehow.

[1:08:42] Luckily, Elliot Kalin isn't here, so he doesn't have much of a choice.

[1:08:47] So I guess we could volunteer Elliot for that, but I guess it's up to Allie's choice.

[1:08:52] Yeah.

[1:08:53] So, I mean, I guess you get one of the three of us.

[1:08:56] Dan's probably the best smelling.

[1:08:59] Thank you.

[1:09:01] And you have that lovely Casper mattress.

[1:09:04] I don't mean to oversell Dan too much.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:06] Stuart has a beautiful Jason t-shirt on.

[1:09:11] That's Jason from the Friday the 13th.

[1:09:13] Not Jason Priestley.

[1:09:14] Yeah.

[1:09:15] So you know he's got a real sense of style.

[1:09:17] Yep.

[1:09:18] And t-shirts are my way of communicating.

[1:09:21] Hallie's exempt from this.

[1:09:23] Hallie does not.

[1:09:24] Well, it did say Flophouse guys.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:26] Yeah, I'm off limits.

[1:09:27] Sorry, guys.

[1:09:30] So, thank you for those messages, guys.

[1:09:34] If you want to get your own Chumbotron message, head over to MaximumFun.org and follow the instructions.

S4

[1:09:45] The three of you enter a cave of a big red dragon and is standing over a horde of precious golden rubies.

[1:09:52] And he says, what do you do, adventurers?

[1:09:54] I'm a dragon man.

S5

[1:09:55] I cast fire on him.

[1:09:56] It's very good.

[1:09:57] I address the red dragon and say, us, we're the hosts of The Adventure Zone, a podcast about family playing Dungeons & Dragons.

[1:10:04] Very good synergy.

[1:10:05] Commit to the bit.

S4

[1:10:07] I roll to charm new listeners.

[1:10:10] It is very effective.

[1:10:11] Against all odds.

[1:10:13] Everybody, we're the Macroids.

[1:10:14] We host the Adventure Zone, a podcast where we play Dungeons & Dragons together.

[1:10:17] It's a comedy podcast.

[1:10:18] We don't take the rules too seriously because there's a lot of them and we did not take the time to learn them.

[1:10:22] Maybe listen to us.

[1:10:22] We come out every other Thursday on the Maximum Fun Network.

[1:10:25] You can find us on iTunes or on MaximumFun.org.

[1:10:28] I think this promo is a critical hit.

[1:10:30] So now, we move on to letters from listeners.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:42] Listeners like you.

[1:10:46] Archie is doing something very distracting right now.

[1:10:50] As he's been doing through the entire podcast.

[1:10:53] Normally, Elliot is here and we put Archie in the other room so he doesn't jump up on the most allergic flop house.

[1:10:59] Allergic?

[1:11:00] The most delicate flower in the flop house firmament.

[1:11:05] Mm-hmm.

[1:11:06] Whereas, Hallie is now picking up Archie and nuzzling him.

[1:11:11] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:16] Now, Archie is pushing.

[1:11:18] Okay.

[1:11:19] I don't think we necessarily have to narrate this encounter.

[1:11:21] Narrate everything, but it's adorable.

[1:11:23] Yeah.

[1:11:24] Yeah, he's a great little kitty and I can't stop kissing him.

[1:11:28] So, Dan, what's the next part of this podcast?

[1:11:30] Letters.

[1:11:31] Letters.

[1:11:31] That's what I was saying.

[1:11:32] From listeners.

[1:11:36] Letters from listeners.

[1:11:39] Is the song Elliot would sing if he were here.

[1:11:42] Okay, that's it.

[1:11:44] Wrap it up.

[1:11:46] Letters.

[1:11:46] So, a plaintive letter song in the background.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:52] I forgot to pick letters.

[1:11:54] Oh, okay.

[1:11:55] We're just going to wing it, dude.

[1:11:56] So, we're going to wing it and we're going to wing it in part by let's just do the letters that came in during the time that we're recording.

[1:12:05] Okay.

[1:12:05] The ones that are fresh in my inbox.

[1:12:07] Wow.

[1:12:08] Okay.

[1:12:09] Jumping the list.

[1:12:10] And so.

[1:12:11] I hope they are all directed toward Elliot.

[1:12:13] We'll answer for him.

[1:12:14] This is from Pete, last name withheld.

[1:12:16] Who writes.

[1:12:18] Peter Parker.

[1:12:18] My communique is about the most buzzed about unproduced script floating around in Tinseltown.

[1:12:23] Catch that kid.

[1:12:25] Mm-hmm.

[1:12:25] My question to each of you is what child star would you cast as the titular kid?

[1:12:29] Here's the twist.

[1:12:30] You can choose a child actor from any era or you can shrink the star of your choice to kid size.

[1:12:36] Go.

[1:12:38] So, that's question number one.

[1:12:41] Okay.

[1:12:41] Well, that's a tough question.

[1:12:42] Normally.

[1:12:43] Now, Hallie, Catch that Kid is an imaginary movie that we came up with.

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:48] But, I mean, I think you can probably fill in the blanks as to what the narrative contents of Catch that Kid would be about.

[1:12:53] You just want to catch a kid?

[1:12:55] Basically.

[1:12:56] Yeah, I mean, that's, yeah.

[1:12:58] I mean.

[1:12:58] You're a sharp cookie.

Hallie Haglund

[1:12:59] You want him to be, like, uncatchable?

[1:13:02] Is that the.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:03] I mean, there should be some question as to whether or not that kid can be caught.

[1:13:07] Okay.

[1:13:08] So, normally when I'm cast in movies, I'm usually going to want to go to a veteran actor.

[1:13:13] Somebody who I know has the chops and can bring charisma in spades.

[1:13:17] So, of course, I'm talking about Angus Grimm, an actor who is now dead.

[1:13:23] But if he was not dead and I could shrink him, then I would totally go Angus Grimm.

[1:13:29] Otherwise, if I'm going to go with anybody who I've seen as a kid as an actor,

[1:13:33] I've got to go with that Jonathan Lipnicki from The Littlest Vampire and Jerry Maguire

[1:13:37] because that kid is super adorable.

[1:13:41] Me now?

[1:13:42] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[1:13:43] Well, I have two choices.

[1:13:47] One is Macaulay Culkin from The Good Son.

[1:13:51] Okay.

[1:13:52] Because he was.

[1:13:53] That's the best version, yeah.

[1:13:54] Very devious.

[1:13:55] It's hard to catch that kid.

[1:13:56] And the other is Simba as a kid from The Lion King

[1:14:01] because he was a lion.

[1:14:03] So he's really fast and it'll be hard to catch him.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:07] No, no joke.

[1:14:09] One of the topics that hasn't been on the Flophouse Facebook group,

[1:14:13] which you can check out on Facebook,

[1:14:15] is there's a topic of the first person that you ever had a crush on,

[1:14:20] like first celebrity you ever had a crush on.

[1:14:22] And I was asking, I like to ask people that when I'm bartending

[1:14:25] because it's a good icebreaker.

[1:14:27] It's much better than how often do you floss?

Hallie Haglund

[1:14:30] It's much better than what drink do you want.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:34] Yeah.

[1:14:35] I'll get to that.

[1:14:36] That's kind of a dead end.

[1:14:38] Yeah.

[1:14:39] So, but I asked some friends that when they were at the bar

[1:14:43] and one of my friends insisted that her first celebrity crush was Simba.

[1:14:50] I'm like, fine, okay, like animated's fine.

[1:14:53] You know, I've heard Disney's Robin Hood and et cetera, et cetera.

[1:14:56] So that's okay.

[1:14:57] But then anytime I asked somebody that same question with an earshot of her,

[1:15:02] she would insist on saying, it can be animated.

[1:15:05] It can be animated.

[1:15:07] I'm normal.

[1:15:08] I really am.

[1:15:09] Simba, JTT did the voice.

[1:15:11] Come on.

[1:15:13] I think she liked the JTT version,

[1:15:14] not when he grew up and became Matthew Broderick.

[1:15:16] Which one were you talking about?

Hallie Haglund

[1:15:18] I mean, I was talking about the young one,

[1:15:20] but I honestly think either.

[1:15:22] I mean, ask me later about my,

[1:15:26] I can give you more opinions about Simba,

[1:15:29] but I won't say on air.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:31] Okay.

[1:15:32] So no spoilers on that one then.

[1:15:35] And Dan, your Catch That Kid casting?

Dan McCoy

[1:15:38] The young James Stewart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:41] Oh, young James Stewart.

[1:15:43] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:43] Baby Jimmy Stewart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:44] Okay.

[1:15:45] So would it be an old Jimmy Stewart

[1:15:46] that has been shrunk down to a kid size?

Dan McCoy

[1:15:50] No, I think it would be an actual child Jimmy Stewart

[1:15:53] because I wonder whether that child Jimmy Stewart

[1:15:55] would still talk like Jimmy Stewart.

[1:15:57] Yeah.

[1:15:58] So it's really more of an experiment.

[1:16:01] Yeah, yeah.

[1:16:01] That makes sense.

[1:16:02] Just to see whether or not it's not really,

[1:16:05] I don't, I mean, like casting wise,

[1:16:07] yeah, sure, he's going to do a good job.

[1:16:08] He's Jimmy Stewart.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:10] Yeah, exactly.

[1:16:11] He's one of the top actors of Hollywood ever.

[1:16:13] And you're assuming that that was all natural,

[1:16:15] not trained,

[1:16:16] because a child version of him would have those skills.

[1:16:18] Yeah.

[1:16:19] Okay.

[1:16:20] I just want to,

[1:16:20] I want to see what that's like.

[1:16:21] So we know who's going to get,

[1:16:22] who's going to be the kid that gets caught

[1:16:24] or doesn't get caught

[1:16:25] is our three answers.

[1:16:27] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:28] So the next question is from Ivan,

[1:16:31] last name withheld.

[1:16:32] The terrible.

[1:16:33] Who writes,

[1:16:34] Hey guys,

[1:16:35] I recently dropped a terrible Jaws reference.

[1:16:38] We're going to need a bigger moat.

[1:16:40] Only to learn that my wife of nearly 10 years

[1:16:43] had never seen Jaws.

[1:16:45] Since she already knows that I'm appalled

[1:16:47] that she's never watched the Silence of the Lambs,

[1:16:49] she tried to regain some credibility as a cultured human

[1:16:53] by describing clothes and counters of the third kind

[1:16:55] as having a pickup truck be in it.

[1:16:58] Which is accurate.

[1:16:59] Mm-hmm.

[1:17:00] Uh,

[1:17:00] I was duly impressed by her brandishing

[1:17:02] a detail so minor

[1:17:03] no one would try to bluff with it.

[1:17:06] Are there details of certain movies

[1:17:07] which stick with you

[1:17:08] despite being entirely unimportant?

[1:17:11] As I write that out,

[1:17:12] it occurs to me that every detail

[1:17:13] I can recall suddenly seems vital.

[1:17:17] Anyway,

[1:17:17] I'm grateful for the back catalog

[1:17:19] since I sometimes need to listen to something

[1:17:21] I know I'll enjoy

[1:17:22] without the taint of schadenfreude

[1:17:24] or grim satisfaction.

[1:17:26] Ivan,

[1:17:26] last name withheld.

[1:17:28] Well,

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:29] thanks, Ivan.

[1:17:30] Uh,

[1:17:31] I actually kind of feel the other way.

[1:17:32] Like,

[1:17:33] I feel like every little thing that I remember

[1:17:34] is totally unimportant

[1:17:36] and I feel silly for remembering it.

[1:17:38] Yeah.

[1:17:39] Like what?

[1:17:42] Uh,

[1:17:42] oh man,

[1:17:43] I don't know.

[1:17:43] Like,

[1:17:44] uh,

[1:17:44] whoo,

[1:17:47] uh,

[1:17:48] I'm trying to think

[1:17:49] a,

[1:17:50] oh man,

[1:17:53] we'll,

[1:17:54] we'll probably just edit this whole section

[1:17:55] out of the episode.

[1:17:56] Right.

[1:17:57] so it makes it sound like I came up with something

[1:17:58] right on the fly,

[1:17:59] right off the top of the head.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:01] Uh,

[1:18:01] yeah,

[1:18:02] I mean,

[1:18:02] I don't know.

[1:18:04] There are movies that are unimportant

[1:18:07] that I remember very well.

[1:18:09] It's not like I remember a particular small detail

[1:18:12] of a great movie

[1:18:13] so much as like,

[1:18:15] I saw Beastmaster 50 times

[1:18:18] when I was a kid

[1:18:19] and so I'm like,

[1:18:21] these are my ferrets.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:22] Mm-hmm.

[1:18:23] Or like every time I hear the name,

[1:18:26] uh,

[1:18:27] Wolfgang

[1:18:27] or Wolfgang Amadeus

[1:18:29] or Amadeus,

[1:18:30] I always think of

[1:18:32] Rolfgang Amadogus

[1:18:33] from the Muppet Babies cartoon

[1:18:35] when they go through their family trees

[1:18:37] and discover that

[1:18:38] Rolf's ancestor was Rolfgang Amadogus.

[1:18:42] The famous composer dog?

[1:18:44] Yeah,

[1:18:44] sure.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:45] Are there any small details

[1:18:47] you remember from you?

[1:18:47] I don't know if that's really a small detail.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:49] I mean,

[1:18:49] it's pretty integral to the character.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:52] I was thinking about it.

[1:18:53] No,

[1:18:54] I got it.

Hallie Haglund

[1:18:55] Uh,

[1:18:55] every time,

[1:18:56] you know how you see

[1:18:57] young or middle-aged

[1:18:59] or old people

[1:19:00] have like,

[1:19:01] uh,

[1:19:01] bald spotting

[1:19:03] or not bald spotting

[1:19:04] but like white spotting

[1:19:05] where they have like

[1:19:06] one patch of white hair?

[1:19:08] Uh-huh.

[1:19:08] I always think about

[1:19:09] in the peanut butter solution

[1:19:11] where he climbs up that chute

[1:19:13] and he sees a ghost

[1:19:14] and he freaks out

[1:19:16] and he falls down

[1:19:17] and he was so scared

[1:19:18] that all his hair turned white.

[1:19:19] Uh-huh.

[1:19:20] And that's what I think of

[1:19:21] every time I think of

[1:19:22] when I see people

[1:19:23] who have like

[1:19:24] those little patches

[1:19:25] of white hair.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:26] So you figure

[1:19:27] it's because of the peanut butter solution.

[1:19:28] Uh-huh.

[1:19:29] Yeah.

Hallie Haglund

[1:19:30] Or they saw a ghost probably.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:33] And you see,

[1:19:33] and you look at them with envy.

[1:19:34] Because you're like,

[1:19:35] I want to see a fucking ghost.

Hallie Haglund

[1:19:37] I know.

[1:19:37] I'm like,

[1:19:37] how'd you get that?

[1:19:38] There's one thing

[1:19:39] in my life I want.

[1:19:39] There's a guy at our work

[1:19:40] who has that.

[1:19:41] Ted Tremper has that.

[1:19:42] Yeah.

[1:19:42] And I,

[1:19:43] and he,

[1:19:43] one time I was talking to him

[1:19:45] about it.

[1:19:47] I work with this person.

[1:19:49] Um,

[1:19:49] but he was like,

[1:19:51] I just got it

[1:19:51] when I worked at the show

[1:19:52] and it was so disappointing

[1:19:54] because I was like,

[1:19:54] surely you've had it

[1:19:55] ever since he saw that ghost.

[1:19:57] And he was like,

[1:19:57] no,

[1:19:57] just my life as a ghost

[1:20:00] is working here.

[1:20:01] And that's when I saw

[1:20:03] my own reflection.

[1:20:05] Just kidding.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:07] Thank you for saying

[1:20:08] just kidding.

[1:20:08] I got really scared

[1:20:09] there for a second.

[1:20:10] I'm like,

[1:20:11] um,

Dan McCoy

[1:20:13] so,

[1:20:14] uh,

[1:20:15] so that has been

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:16] an example of us

[1:20:17] remembering things.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:17] Yeah.

[1:20:18] And that has also been

[1:20:19] an example of what happens

[1:20:20] when we just answer

[1:20:21] emails that come in

[1:20:22] literally during the

[1:20:24] period of time

[1:20:25] that we're doing the show.

[1:20:27] Now,

[1:20:27] what's the next part

[1:20:27] of this podcast,

[1:20:28] Dan?

[1:20:28] The next and final part

[1:20:29] of this podcast

[1:20:30] is when we recommend movies.

[1:20:31] Oh,

[1:20:32] we're going to be fast

[1:20:32] on this,

[1:20:33] right?

[1:20:33] Because we're going

[1:20:33] long.

[1:20:34] No,

[1:20:34] no,

[1:20:34] it's fine.

[1:20:35] We're going to go

[1:20:35] nice and slow.

[1:20:36] We did a short

[1:20:36] letter segment

[1:20:38] so we can do

[1:20:38] whatever we want

[1:20:39] here.

[1:20:40] But,

Dan McCoy

[1:20:40] um,

Hallie Haglund

[1:20:41] I got like a long,

[1:20:42] I'm just going to

[1:20:43] tell the whole story

[1:20:44] of the movie

[1:20:44] I'm recommending.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:45] If we want to

[1:20:46] recommend movies

[1:20:46] that we liked

[1:20:47] that you should

[1:20:49] watch,

[1:20:49] um,

[1:20:51] this is the place

[1:20:52] to do it.

[1:20:52] And let me

[1:20:53] recommend a movie

[1:20:54] I watched

[1:20:54] called

[1:20:55] Mr. Arcadden.

[1:20:57] What?

[1:20:58] Mr. Arcadden.

[1:21:00] It's directed

[1:21:01] by one Orson

[1:21:02] Wells.

[1:21:03] Perhaps you've

[1:21:03] heard of it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:04] No.

[1:21:04] Oh,

[1:21:05] Unicron.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:07] And,

[1:21:08] uh,

[1:21:09] it's an interesting

[1:21:10] movie because it

[1:21:10] revisits themes

[1:21:11] from Orson

[1:21:12] Wells'

[1:21:12] other movies.

[1:21:13] Um,

[1:21:14] it's kind of

[1:21:15] like,

[1:21:16] uh,

[1:21:17] Citizen Kane

[1:21:18] in that it's

[1:21:18] an exploration

[1:21:19] into what

[1:21:20] wealthy person's

[1:21:22] life.

[1:21:23] Uh,

[1:21:24] and it's kind

[1:21:25] of like,

[1:21:26] uh,

[1:21:26] The Third Man,

[1:21:27] which is not a

[1:21:28] Orson Wells movie.

[1:21:29] It's directed by

[1:21:30] Carol Reed,

[1:21:30] but,

[1:21:31] but he's in it.

[1:21:32] Orson Wells is in

[1:21:33] it,

[1:21:33] and he was said

[1:21:34] to have input

[1:21:36] into the,

[1:21:36] uh,

[1:21:37] screenplay.

[1:21:38] And,

[1:21:39] uh,

[1:21:39] Mr. Arcadden

[1:21:40] is based in

[1:21:41] part on a

[1:21:43] couple of

[1:21:43] episodes of

[1:21:44] the Third

[1:21:45] Man radio

[1:21:46] series.

[1:21:48] And so,

[1:21:48] it feels a

[1:21:49] little bit like

[1:21:50] Third Man.

[1:21:51] It's got the

[1:21:51] same,

[1:21:52] uh,

[1:21:54] sort of

[1:21:54] comic

[1:21:55] thriller

[1:21:56] aspect to it.

[1:21:59] It's filled

[1:21:59] with Dutch

[1:22:00] angles,

[1:22:01] weird,

[1:22:02] uh,

[1:22:02] grotesques.

[1:22:03] Um,

[1:22:04] it's about a

[1:22:05] man who

[1:22:05] is,

[1:22:06] uh,

[1:22:07] employed to

[1:22:08] look into

[1:22:09] the past

[1:22:09] of the

[1:22:10] titular

[1:22:11] Mr.

[1:22:11] Arcadden,

[1:22:12] uh,

[1:22:13] played by

[1:22:13] Orson Wells.

[1:22:14] Mr.

[1:22:14] Arcadden

[1:22:14] claims that

[1:22:15] he has,

[1:22:16] uh,

[1:22:17] amnesia,

[1:22:18] and he

[1:22:19] wants this

[1:22:20] fortune hunter

[1:22:21] to,

[1:22:22] this,

[1:22:23] uh,

[1:22:23] ruffian

[1:22:24] to come in

[1:22:25] and look

[1:22:27] into his

[1:22:27] past and

[1:22:28] see what he

[1:22:29] can find out

[1:22:29] about his

[1:22:31] life before,

[1:22:32] uh,

[1:22:33] where he is

[1:22:34] right now.

[1:22:34] And,

[1:22:35] uh,

[1:22:36] suffice it to

[1:22:37] say,

[1:22:37] there are a

[1:22:38] bunch of

[1:22:38] surprises.

[1:22:39] Mr.

[1:22:39] Arcadden is

[1:22:40] maybe not

[1:22:40] playing

[1:22:41] completely

[1:22:41] straight

[1:22:42] with this

[1:22:43] man.

[1:22:44] And it's,

[1:22:45] uh,

[1:22:45] it's an

[1:22:45] interesting

[1:22:45] movie.

[1:22:46] It's not

[1:22:47] the best

[1:22:48] Orson

[1:22:48] Wells movie,

[1:22:49] obviously.

[1:22:49] I mean,

[1:22:50] it's not

[1:22:51] Citizen Kane

[1:22:51] or the

[1:22:52] Magnificent

[1:22:52] Ambersons,

[1:22:53] but it

[1:22:54] has a lot

[1:22:55] of fun.

[1:22:56] It's not,

[1:22:57] it,

[1:22:58] it's,

[1:22:58] you know,

[1:22:59] it's,

[1:23:00] it's,

[1:23:01] uh,

[1:23:02] Orson

[1:23:02] Wells at

[1:23:03] a more

[1:23:03] playful sort

[1:23:04] of,

[1:23:05] in a more

[1:23:05] playful bent,

[1:23:06] but not as

[1:23:07] good as

[1:23:07] something like

[1:23:08] Touch of

[1:23:08] Evil.

[1:23:09] But,

[1:23:09] uh,

[1:23:10] it's certainly

[1:23:10] worth watching.

[1:23:12] And,

[1:23:12] uh,

[1:23:12] there are a

[1:23:13] bunch of

[1:23:13] different cuts

[1:23:14] of it.

[1:23:15] There's a

[1:23:16] very,

[1:23:17] like,

[1:23:17] short cut

[1:23:18] that's in the

[1:23:19] public domain

[1:23:19] that's not

[1:23:20] very good.

[1:23:21] I watched what I

[1:23:22] assume is what's

[1:23:22] called the

[1:23:23] Criterion Cut,

[1:23:24] the one that was

[1:23:24] put together for

[1:23:25] the Criterion

[1:23:25] Edition.

[1:23:26] Uh,

[1:23:27] it was on

[1:23:27] Turner Classic

[1:23:28] Movies.

[1:23:29] Seek out the

[1:23:30] best cut that

[1:23:31] you can find,

[1:23:32] but,

[1:23:33] uh,

[1:23:33] that's what my

[1:23:34] recommendation is.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:34] Best Cut's the

[1:23:35] longest cut,

[1:23:36] or?

Dan McCoy

[1:23:37] Yeah,

[1:23:37] it's about

[1:23:37] 110 minutes.

[1:23:39] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:40] Allie,

[1:23:41] what's your

[1:23:41] recommendation?

[1:23:42] You want to

[1:23:42] go next?

[1:23:43] Sure.

Hallie Haglund

[1:23:44] Um,

[1:23:44] I would say,

[1:23:46] um,

[1:23:48] that,

[1:23:48] so,

[1:23:49] my recommendation

[1:23:50] is,

[1:23:51] I don't know,

[1:23:51] have you guys

[1:23:52] seen Entertainment?

[1:23:54] The Greg

[1:23:54] Turkington,

[1:23:56] it's,

[1:23:56] like,

[1:23:56] co-written by

[1:23:57] Tim Heidecker.

[1:23:58] I haven't.

[1:23:59] It's,

[1:24:00] it's,

[1:24:01] uh,

[1:24:01] really,

[1:24:02] uh,

[1:24:03] good.

[1:24:04] I,

[1:24:07] I was pretty

[1:24:08] into it.

[1:24:08] It's,

[1:24:08] like,

[1:24:08] very,

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:09] it got really

[1:24:10] mixed reviews,

[1:24:11] but that doesn't

[1:24:11] necessarily,

Hallie Haglund

[1:24:12] I mean,

[1:24:13] yeah,

[1:24:14] I mean,

[1:24:14] did you watch

[1:24:15] the comedy

[1:24:16] that is not,

[1:24:19] uh,

[1:24:19] it's the

[1:24:20] Tim Heidecker

[1:24:21] starred in it,

[1:24:22] but I sort of,

[1:24:22] like,

[1:24:23] think of these

[1:24:23] as,

[1:24:24] like,

[1:24:24] companion pieces,

[1:24:25] even though they're,

[1:24:25] like,

[1:24:26] I don't think they

[1:24:27] were meant to be at all.

[1:24:27] They're kind of anti-comedies,

[1:24:29] yeah.

[1:24:29] Yeah,

[1:24:29] uh,

[1:24:30] and they're both,

[1:24:30] like,

[1:24:31] just so rough,

[1:24:32] uh,

[1:24:33] and entertainment

[1:24:34] is,

[1:24:34] like,

[1:24:34] much rougher,

[1:24:35] but it's sort of,

[1:24:36] like,

[1:24:37] honestly,

[1:24:38] uh,

[1:24:39] so,

[1:24:40] I've also been watching

[1:24:42] Showa,

[1:24:43] this,

[1:24:43] like,

[1:24:44] eight-hour documentary

[1:24:45] about,

[1:24:46] way around.

[1:24:47] No,

[1:24:48] no,

[1:24:48] uh,

[1:24:50] okay.

[1:24:51] No,

[1:24:51] it's documentary

[1:24:52] about the Holocaust.

[1:24:54] No,

[1:24:54] yeah,

[1:24:54] so it's this,

[1:24:55] like,

[1:24:55] eight-hour,

[1:24:56] like,

[1:24:57] legendary documentary

[1:24:58] about the Holocaust,

[1:24:59] and I feel like

[1:25:00] this is not an apt

[1:25:02] comparison at all,

[1:25:04] but I feel like,

[1:25:04] uh,

[1:25:05] like,

[1:25:06] they,

[1:25:07] no,

[1:25:07] I made such a bad

[1:25:08] comparison,

[1:25:09] I have to walk away

[1:25:10] from this,

[1:25:10] but the point is,

[1:25:11] that,

[1:25:13] uh,

[1:25:14] like,

[1:25:15] uh,

[1:25:15] entertainment is,

[1:25:16] like,

[1:25:17] jaw-droppingly

[1:25:18] uncomfortable,

[1:25:20] um,

[1:25:21] but it is actually,

[1:25:22] like,

[1:25:22] very absorbing,

[1:25:23] and,

[1:25:24] like,

[1:25:25] I don't know,

[1:25:25] I just,

[1:25:26] like,

[1:25:26] never,

[1:25:27] it was so

[1:25:28] compelling,

[1:25:29] and,

[1:25:30] like,

[1:25:30] one of those things

[1:25:31] that you didn't

[1:25:32] really,

[1:25:32] like,

[1:25:32] feel comfortable

[1:25:33] watching ever,

[1:25:34] but then,

[1:25:34] like,

[1:25:35] I think about

[1:25:36] so many times

[1:25:37] after I've watched it,

[1:25:39] um,

[1:25:39] and so,

[1:25:40] um,

[1:25:41] yeah,

[1:25:42] that's what I would

[1:25:42] recommend.

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:43] Do you,

[1:25:44] uh,

[1:25:45] I mean,

[1:25:46] it feels like

[1:25:46] something that is,

[1:25:48] like,

[1:25:48] I think the reason

[1:25:49] that I haven't watched

[1:25:49] it is because it seems

[1:25:50] like it's either

[1:25:51] something that I will

[1:25:52] definitely connect with

[1:25:54] or totally not

[1:25:55] connect with at all.

[1:25:57] Do you think it's,

[1:25:58] uh,

[1:25:58] is it the sort of,

[1:25:59] do you,

[1:25:59] do you see why people

[1:26:00] might be polarized by it?

Hallie Haglund

[1:26:01] I don't know.

[1:26:02] I mean,

[1:26:02] it's not something

[1:26:03] that I,

[1:26:04] like,

[1:26:06] I,

[1:26:06] it's something that,

[1:26:06] like,

[1:26:07] I don't even recommending it.

[1:26:09] It's not something that

[1:26:09] when I was watching it,

[1:26:10] I was like,

[1:26:11] I feel really comfortable

[1:26:12] watching this

[1:26:14] or,

[1:26:14] like,

[1:26:14] feel like it's really good

[1:26:16] and yet,

[1:26:16] like,

[1:26:16] when you stop watching,

[1:26:18] you're like,

[1:26:18] I'm still,

[1:26:19] like,

[1:26:20] haunted by all these images

[1:26:21] and,

[1:26:22] and,

[1:26:23] like,

[1:26:23] some of them were subtle

[1:26:25] and some of them

[1:26:26] were,

[1:26:26] like,

[1:26:26] super graphic,

[1:26:27] but I don't think

[1:26:28] it was all just,

[1:26:29] like,

[1:26:29] playing on,

[1:26:30] you know,

[1:26:31] like,

[1:26:31] uh,

[1:26:31] the grotesque

[1:26:33] or anything.

[1:26:33] And so,

[1:26:34] like,

[1:26:34] I actually think,

[1:26:35] like,

[1:26:36] there,

[1:26:37] that you,

[1:26:38] I don't think it's one

[1:26:39] or the other.

[1:26:40] I think you can,

[1:26:40] like,

[1:26:40] have really uncomfortable

[1:26:41] feelings about it

[1:26:42] and still think it's,

[1:26:43] like,

[1:26:43] very compelling.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:45] Okay,

[1:26:46] that makes sense.

[1:26:47] Maybe I'll,

[1:26:47] maybe I'll give it a shot.

[1:26:49] Uh,

[1:26:50] tonight,

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:50] tonight,

[1:26:51] I'm going to recommend

[1:26:51] a movie that I swore

[1:26:52] I'd already recommended,

[1:26:53] which,

[1:26:54] but according to the

[1:26:55] Flophouse Recommends wiki,

[1:26:56] I have not.

[1:26:57] Uh,

[1:26:57] but if I'm totally wrong,

[1:26:58] you can write in and tell me

[1:26:59] I'm an idiot.

[1:27:00] I'm going to recommend

[1:27:01] a Sam Peckinpah movie

[1:27:02] called Cross of Iron.

[1:27:05] It's,

[1:27:06] uh,

[1:27:06] probably my favorite

[1:27:07] Sam Peckinpah movie.

[1:27:08] It's his only,

[1:27:10] uh,

[1:27:10] his only war,

[1:27:11] uh,

[1:27:11] World War II movie.

[1:27:12] Uh,

[1:27:13] it's set on the

[1:27:14] Eastern Front

[1:27:15] and our heroes

[1:27:16] are a ragtag

[1:27:18] group of German soldiers

[1:27:20] in World War II.

[1:27:22] So,

[1:27:22] that's,

[1:27:23] yeah,

[1:27:24] that's theoretically

[1:27:25] going to be a tough movie

[1:27:26] to sell.

[1:27:26] Um,

[1:27:27] it's from,

[1:27:28] uh,

[1:27:29] 1977

[1:27:29] and,

[1:27:31] uh,

[1:27:31] it has a great cast.

[1:27:32] Uh,

[1:27:33] James Coburn,

[1:27:34] Maximilian Schell,

[1:27:35] James Mason,

[1:27:36] David Warner,

[1:27:37] uh,

[1:27:38] some really great,

[1:27:39] uh,

[1:27:39] some really great old actors.

[1:27:41] Um,

[1:27:42] and it tells the story

[1:27:44] of a,

[1:27:45] uh,

[1:27:46] a,

[1:27:47] like,

[1:27:47] uh,

[1:27:47] an ambitious German officer

[1:27:49] who goes to that front

[1:27:50] and he is paired up

[1:27:53] with a,

[1:27:54] like,

[1:27:54] a veteran squad

[1:27:55] that's led by this hero,

[1:27:57] uh,

[1:27:58] played by James Coburn.

[1:28:00] And,

[1:28:01] uh,

[1:28:02] this ambitious officer

[1:28:04] is desperate to

[1:28:05] achieve the same honor

[1:28:07] that this,

[1:28:08] uh,

[1:28:09] that this decorated,

[1:28:10] uh,

[1:28:10] sergeant has,

[1:28:11] uh,

[1:28:12] has won a,

[1:28:13] uh,

[1:28:13] cross of iron,

[1:28:14] the highest possible honor.

[1:28:16] Although that might be wrong,

[1:28:17] but,

[1:28:18] um,

[1:28:18] he's trying to get a cross of iron

[1:28:19] and,

[1:28:20] uh,

[1:28:21] his,

[1:28:22] in his quest to achieve this honor,

[1:28:24] he ends up betraying

[1:28:26] the men under his command.

[1:28:28] And it's an interesting story

[1:28:30] of,

[1:28:31] uh,

[1:28:31] like,

[1:28:32] ground level soldiers

[1:28:32] being betrayed

[1:28:33] by the people above them.

[1:28:35] and it eventually boils down

[1:28:37] to a massive,

[1:28:39] uh,

[1:28:39] battle and shootout.

[1:28:41] And,

[1:28:42] uh,

[1:28:42] all the,

[1:28:43] all the,

[1:28:43] like,

[1:28:44] politicking and bullshit

[1:28:44] just kind of goes out the window.

[1:28:48] Uh,

[1:28:48] and yeah,

[1:28:49] it's good.

[1:28:50] Cross of iron.

[1:28:51] All right.

[1:28:53] Three,

[1:28:54] well,

[1:28:55] seven recommendations,

[1:28:56] six recommend,

[1:28:57] I don't know how many we got in there.

[1:28:58] Hell,

[1:28:59] I got a bunch.

[1:29:00] I only meant one.

Hallie Haglund

[1:29:03] Okay.

[1:29:04] You'll add it up the rest.

[1:29:05] Um,

Dan McCoy

[1:29:09] so,

[1:29:10] what do we do now,

[1:29:12] Dan?

[1:29:13] Well,

[1:29:13] as you can hear,

[1:29:14] my voice is going.

[1:29:15] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:15] Dan's winding down.

[1:29:16] Uh,

[1:29:17] thanks for checking out the show,

[1:29:18] guys.

[1:29:19] Uh,

[1:29:19] and yeah,

[1:29:20] you wanted to say something at the end.

[1:29:21] I wanted to say thanks to Max Fun.

[1:29:23] Uh,

[1:29:24] if you haven't,

[1:29:24] uh,

[1:29:25] and if you haven't checked out the Max Fun family of podcasts

[1:29:27] and you like podcasts,

[1:29:28] please go check them out.

[1:29:29] There's plenty of great shows on there and they've just added a bunch of new ones like the greatest generation.

[1:29:35] Uh,

[1:29:35] there's a bunch of other recent additions like the beef and dairy network,

[1:29:38] which is a personal favorite of mine.

[1:29:40] Uh,

[1:29:41] there's still buffering a show about hashtag teen life.

[1:29:45] Uh,

[1:29:46] there's all kinds of other great shows.

[1:29:48] The,

[1:29:48] the entire McElroy catalog of shows,

[1:29:50] go check out,

[1:29:51] uh,

[1:29:51] the Max Fun shows.

[1:29:52] They're fun.

[1:29:53] Um,

[1:29:54] and we would also like to say if you get a chance and you're on your computer and you want to see,

[1:29:59] uh,

[1:30:00] uh,

[1:30:00] a little bit of images to go along with our beautiful words,

[1:30:04] you should go check out the flop house podcast,

[1:30:06] YouTube channel.

[1:30:07] Uh,

[1:30:08] just put in search under YouTube,

[1:30:10] the flop house podcast.

[1:30:12] And that,

[1:30:13] uh,

[1:30:13] YouTube channel is being,

[1:30:15] in addition to us,

[1:30:17] it's being,

[1:30:17] uh,

[1:30:18] kind of managed by a artist,

[1:30:20] uh,

[1:30:20] Tony Oaker,

[1:30:22] who is,

[1:30:23] handles a lot of the animations on there,

[1:30:25] uh,

[1:30:26] which are great.

[1:30:27] And they're a lot of fun.

[1:30:27] And he adds a new one.

[1:30:29] Well,

[1:30:29] about every month or so.

[1:30:31] And to kind of support that,

[1:30:33] uh,

[1:30:34] he has set up a Patreon,

[1:30:36] um,

[1:30:37] which,

[1:30:38] uh,

[1:30:38] you can contribute to,

[1:30:39] and it is a Patreon to support him doing his artwork.

[1:30:44] Um,

[1:30:45] and for Patreon supporters,

[1:30:46] there's a bunch of cool,

[1:30:48] uh,

[1:30:48] benefits or bonuses like extended versions of some of the past videos and upcoming videos.

[1:30:54] Uh,

[1:30:55] I think it's actually just upcoming videos,

[1:30:57] subsequent videos.

[1:30:58] Uh,

[1:30:58] you get a chance to vote on,

[1:31:01] uh,

[1:31:01] which of your favorite flop house bits,

[1:31:04] all of our classic bits that you would want him to animate.

[1:31:08] Um,

[1:31:08] you might be able to appear in one of his videos.

[1:31:10] You can get your name in the credits,

[1:31:12] uh,

[1:31:13] get some sneak previews,

[1:31:14] work in progress drawings,

[1:31:15] all kinds of stuff like that.

[1:31:17] Um,

[1:31:17] and his art is great and super impressive.

[1:31:20] And it's kind of an honor every time he throws one of his things together.

[1:31:24] That he takes our stupid little things and makes it into something genuinely awesome.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:28] Yeah.

[1:31:29] And before we go,

[1:31:30] also,

[1:31:30] we should mention our first,

[1:31:32] uh,

[1:31:33] show on the road.

[1:31:34] Yeah,

[1:31:35] yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:35] yeah.

[1:31:35] The flop house is leaving New York and we are going to Washington,

[1:31:40] D.C.

[1:31:41] Washington,

[1:31:41] D.C.

[1:31:41] Our nation's capital.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:43] Political.

[1:31:45] Uh,

[1:31:45] in August,

[1:31:47] uh,

[1:31:47] on August the 5th,

[1:31:48] that's a Friday at 9 p.m.

[1:31:50] we will be playing Black Cat Theater in Washington,

[1:31:53] D.C.

[1:31:54] Uh,

[1:31:55] tickets are now available.

[1:31:56] If you go to the flop house site,

[1:31:59] um,

[1:32:00] there should be in the show notes,

[1:32:02] a link to that.

[1:32:03] If I forget,

[1:32:04] there's a blog post that talks about the live show already there.

[1:32:09] So,

[1:32:09] uh,

[1:32:10] you can get tickets there.

[1:32:11] It's 20 bucks to see us.

[1:32:13] Sorry,

[1:32:14] that's a little more expensive than when we do things.

[1:32:16] And then in New York,

[1:32:17] we got to cover our,

[1:32:18] uh,

[1:32:19] costs for travel.

[1:32:20] Don't apologize,

Dan McCoy

[1:32:20] dude.

[1:32:20] You're worth it.

[1:32:21] You're worth 20 bucks,

[1:32:22] man.

[1:32:22] Thanks,

Dan McCoy

[1:32:22] buddy.

[1:32:23] Uh,

[1:32:24] but that's going to be going on in August.

[1:32:26] So,

[1:32:26] please,

[1:32:27] if you live in the D.C.

[1:32:28] area or if you're nearby,

[1:32:30] come out and see a live show.

[1:32:33] Um,

[1:32:34] but that being said,

[1:32:36] we should sign off.

[1:32:38] Yeah.

[1:32:39] Um,

[1:32:40] it's been a delight.

[1:32:42] Yay.

[1:32:42] Having Hallie back again.

[1:32:43] Thanks for coming on,

[1:32:44] Hallie.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:44] Thanks for having me.

[1:32:45] It was fun.

[1:32:47] And,

[1:32:48] uh,

Dan McCoy

[1:32:49] for the flop house,

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:50] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:32:52] Hell yeah,

[1:32:53] you have been.

[1:32:54] And I'm going to be Stuart Wellington forever.

Hallie Haglund

[1:32:57] And for a time,

[1:32:59] I will be Hallie Haglund.

[1:33:02] Good night,

[1:33:02] everyone.

[1:33:03] Bye.

[1:33:07] Bye.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:13] You talking to the microphone?

[1:33:15] Yeah,

[1:33:15] you don't want to be all,

[1:33:16] it was shitty last time,

[1:33:17] right?

[1:33:18] Yeah.

[1:33:18] How does it sound right now?

[1:33:20] Right now,

[1:33:21] judging by the waveforms,

[1:33:23] it sounds terrific.

[1:33:24] Seems okay.

[1:33:25] You don't want to go back and double check.

[1:33:27] There's no like clicks or boops.

[1:33:29] Some boops and bleeps.

[1:33:30] Boops and bleeps.

[1:33:32] Maximumfun.org.

S5

[1:33:38] Comedy and culture.

[1:33:39] Artist owned.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:40] Listener supported.

S5

[1:33:41] Hey guys,

[1:33:42] this is Adam Conover.

[1:33:43] You may know me from my true TV show,

[1:33:45] Adam Ruins Everything.

[1:33:46] Well,

[1:33:46] guess what?

[1:33:47] Now we're doing a podcast version right here on Maximum Fun.

[1:33:50] What we do is,

[1:33:50] we take all the interesting,

[1:33:52] fascinating experts that we talk to for just a couple minutes on the show,

[1:33:54] and we sit with them for an entire podcast,

[1:33:57] really going deep and getting into the fascinating details of their work.

[1:34:01] Find Adam Ruins Everything wherever you get your podcasts or at MaximumFun.org.

Ep.#206 - The Choice

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