Ep. #209 - Pay the Ghost

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode of the podcast, we discuss Pay the Ghost.

[0:05] Who's in that movie, Dan?

[0:07] Y1, Nick Olas, Cage.

[0:11] That means it's Cagemas in July!

Zhubin Parang

[0:13] I mean...

[0:16] No, I mean...

[0:18] I got it. I nailed it.

Stuart Wellington

[0:23] Nailed it in one.

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:53] Hey guys, I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:55] And joining us is my best friend...

[0:58] Zubin Parang.

[0:59] That's right.

Dan McCoy

[1:00] Elliot's not here.

[1:01] And why is Elliot not here?

[1:02] That's a funny story.

Zhubin Parang

[1:04] Yeah, sort of.

[1:05] I thought it was because I'm Stuart's best friend.

[1:08] I was told that before I showed up.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10] Yeah, yeah.

[1:11] Can you remember how we met Zubin?

[1:13] Do you mind telling us that story?

Zhubin Parang

[1:14] Yeah, I was walking down the subway, and I got a call from you.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18] Like a platform or an empty tunnel?

Zhubin Parang

[1:20] I was walking through the cars.

[1:22] I was kind of between...

[1:24] I opened the doors.

[1:25] You should not ride between the cars.

[1:26] Randomly.

[1:27] I don't pay attention to signs or doors.

[1:29] No, I just wanted to see if there are better seats available, so I just started walking

[1:32] through.

[1:33] And then I got a call from you saying that, hey, you're my new best friend.

[1:36] Come to the podcast.

[1:37] And I showed up.

[1:38] That's great.

[1:39] And I took that at face value.

Stuart Wellington

[1:40] It serves underground, I guess.

[1:41] That's a real wind-up for the end of that story.

[1:43] How do I get your number?

[1:44] From your buddy, Mark Gagliardi?

Zhubin Parang

[1:46] Yeah.

[1:47] Okay.

[1:47] We actually...

[1:48] Yeah, that's a real inside joke.

[1:49] But actually, that's actually...

[1:51] I bet your fan bases overlap.

[1:53] I bet Thrilling Adventure Hour fans are also Flophouse fans.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55] And he also does a show on the Max Run Network.

Zhubin Parang

[1:57] We got this.

[1:57] That's right.

[1:58] Yeah.

[1:58] I know him.

[1:59] I mean, I know him.

[2:00] I know him from high school.

[2:01] But podcast-wise, I always thought Thrilling Adventure Hour was his big podcast.

[2:06] Yeah.

[2:06] Even though it's not a podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[2:08] It is, though, right?

[2:09] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[2:10] I think it was a show that became a podcast, and now it's over anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[2:13] Aw.

[2:13] Oh, way to rub it in.

Zhubin Parang

[2:15] Yeah.

[2:15] Way to bring it down right at the top.

[2:16] He knew when to bring things to a satisfying conclusion.

[2:18] I guess that's not totally a lesson you guys have absorbed.

[2:22] Yeah, no.

[2:23] Is that something?

Stuart Wellington

[2:25] We're going to run this into the ground, Jubin.

[2:29] So, Jubin, you're here because Elliot couldn't be here because...

Dan McCoy

[2:33] Because he's in Sonoma right now.

[2:35] He's in California.

[2:36] But he didn't realize that we were recording this week.

[2:40] Okay.

[2:41] Did he not give you guys a heads up?

[2:43] No.

[2:43] We were texting about what the next movie would be, and I just happened...

Stuart Wellington

[2:47] And I was like, I can't wait to see you this Thursday.

[2:50] You're my current best friend.

Dan McCoy

[2:52] Yeah.

[2:53] It was...

[2:53] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[2:53] Right across from you.

[2:54] It was just a happenstance that I happened to detect this week, and we learned ahead of

[3:01] time that Elliot had messed up so massively and decided to be in California when we had

[3:08] a recording scheduled.

[3:10] So, whatever you say about my stupid tongue, Elliot, I've never been in a different state

[3:15] when we were supposed to record.

Stuart Wellington

[3:16] You didn't mess up once while telling that hilarious story.

[3:20] Yeah, it was hilarious.

[3:21] I'm glad that we spent the time on it.

Zhubin Parang

[3:23] I don't know if you guys should be hashing out your problems over the podcast.

[3:26] Does anybody need a needle and thread?

Stuart Wellington

[3:27] Because your sides have probably split.

Zhubin Parang

[3:30] I feel like I walked into a therapy session here, and I'm immediately uncomfortable.

[3:35] I thought I'd just come and watch a movie and do a podcast with you guys.

Dan McCoy

[3:37] Please do not walk into a restaurant because your socks have been knocked off by that story.

[3:41] Yep.

[3:41] And that's a health code violation.

[3:42] Very uncomfortable right now.

Stuart Wellington

[3:45] So, Jubin, you work with Dan, right?

[3:49] I do.

[3:50] We're writing for The Daily Show with Trevor Noah now.

Zhubin Parang

[3:52] He's my immediate superior, in fact.

[3:54] I mean, that's one way to put it.

[3:56] Another way to put it is that I'm a friendly guy one rung on the ladder.

[4:01] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[4:02] You guys are kind of like peers, but not me.

Dan McCoy

[4:04] You're reaching down with an iron fish to crush the common man.

[4:07] An iron fish.

Dan McCoy

[4:07] A mighty iron fish, like a nautilus.

Zhubin Parang

[4:10] I wanted it to be strict and painful, but also kind of fun.

[4:14] So, it's one of those iron fishes that sings to rock me down that river.

Stuart Wellington

[4:19] Yeah, chill everybody out.

[4:21] So, as we mentioned it up top, I just want to bring up that it is Cagemas in July, which

[4:27] is the special time of the year that happens once a year when we watch a Nicolas Cage movie

[4:32] in the month of July.

Zhubin Parang

[4:33] It seems like you guys do a lot more specific theme weeks and months now than the last time

[4:39] I did this.

[4:39] Have you guys started to...

Dan McCoy

[4:40] Well, Dan, what do you think about that?

[4:41] Much like society itself, the longer we're around, the more myths just develop over time.

Stuart Wellington

[4:49] See, the human brain longs to determine patterns in this world.

[4:53] They try to find order and chaos, Jubin.

[4:56] And then in trying them, the traditions that...

[4:58] So, when we watch one Adam Sandler movie in December, it immediately becomes Sandalvember.

Dan McCoy

[5:03] Wait, in December?

[5:05] Yeah.

[5:06] Why would it be Sandalvember in December?

[5:08] I don't...

[5:09] I can't explain these things.

[5:10] The human brain works in strange ways.

Stuart Wellington

[5:12] This is how society split up.

[5:13] Like how small timber happens in November.

Dan McCoy

[5:16] No, then you got it backwards.

Stuart Wellington

[5:19] Shocktober happens in November?

[5:21] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Zhubin Parang

[5:21] I feel like you guys are being bullied around by your fan base.

[5:24] You're the ones who can dictate the terms of your podcast.

[5:26] I like to call them that, Jubin.

Stuart Wellington

[5:28] I don't like to ascribe the title of fan onto anybody.

[5:31] What?

[5:32] Really?

[5:33] Yeah.

[5:34] Fan is derogatory?

[5:35] No, I just...

[5:36] I feel like that's a term that you can apply to yourself.

[5:40] Because I don't want to assume that somebody is a fan.

[5:43] And if somebody were to assume I was a fan of something, I'm like,

[5:46] maybe I just like your thing a little bit, dude.

Dan McCoy

[5:49] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[5:50] Chill out, man.

[5:51] Yeah, yeah.

[5:51] Tone it down.

[5:52] I wouldn't say it's derogatory.

[5:54] I would just say...

Zhubin Parang

[5:54] Oh, just not every listener is a fan.

[5:56] Exactly.

[5:56] Some of their hate listeners, I guess.

Stuart Wellington

[5:58] I can only assume from listening to some of our episodes.

Dan McCoy

[6:04] But, okay, yeah.

[6:05] This is Cagemas in July.

[6:07] The other time of the year, other than Cagemas, where we watch a Nicolas Cage movie.

[6:12] In December.

[6:13] When we watch Adam Sandler movies for Sandalvember.

[6:15] There's no such holiday.

[6:18] We have watched a couple of Adam Sandler movies, but they aren't...

[6:21] Oh, God.

[6:22] They haven't been codified.

Zhubin Parang

[6:23] I wish so hard.

[6:24] And come like whenever September, you guys are doing Sandalvember against your will.

Stuart Wellington

[6:30] But somehow it's become a tradition.

[6:32] Yep.

[6:32] I don't think that is a long shot.

[6:34] That is very easily something that can happen.

Dan McCoy

[6:37] We are running out of times on the Flap House calendar when we can just throw in a regular movie.

[6:42] It feels like.

[6:43] It's all...

[6:44] I mean, it all starts around now.

[6:45] It starts...

[6:46] It's the holiday season.

[6:48] Yeah.

[6:49] Can I pitch something?

[6:50] It's that Christmas creep, as the McElroys would say.

Stuart Wellington

[6:52] I don't know.

[6:53] Jubin just asked if he can pick a movie for us to watch, Dan.

[6:56] That seems normal.

[6:58] Why don't we just let him?

[6:58] What are we going to watch?

[6:59] What's that?

Zhubin Parang

[6:59] Well, I was going to suggest that January become Japanuary.

[7:03] Okay.

[7:03] And you watch a movie from Japan that is a bad movie or a critical flop.

[7:07] Okay.

[7:08] If you still got free space on the calendar, the pun's there.

[7:10] The month is there.

Stuart Wellington

[7:11] Yeah.

[7:12] I mean, it's an ironclad defense here.

[7:13] I think, yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[7:14] Now it's done.

[7:15] That's a strong pitch.

Stuart Wellington

[7:16] I guess.

[7:16] Yeah.

[7:17] I guess it's Japanuary.

[7:18] Although, yeah.

[7:20] No.

[7:20] I guess that's...

[7:21] I mean...

[7:21] Then it's settled.

[7:22] That's a little bit outside our wheelhouse.

[7:23] Well, let's not make promises we can't keep just yet.

[7:25] I think it's kind of become a tradition now, isn't it?

Zhubin Parang

[7:28] Sure.

[7:29] I was talking about it for three minutes.

[7:29] If you say it three times, Candyman shows up and kills us all.

[7:32] It's actually interesting.

[7:33] The movie we're watching now, I remember the last, I think the movie I did was a Nicolas

[7:36] Cage movie.

[7:37] Mm-hmm.

[7:37] Uh-huh.

[7:38] Which one was that?

[7:39] Trespass.

[7:39] Oh, I wasn't here.

[7:40] I think I was subbing for you that time.

Stuart Wellington

[7:42] You got to be me instead of you getting to be Elliot.

[7:44] Yeah.

[7:45] So your role's going to shift a little bit.

Zhubin Parang

[7:46] I've got to reference a lot of 1930s movies that don't have any relevance to the topic

[7:50] but kind of just show off my knowledge instead.

Stuart Wellington

[7:52] We're going to play your audio file at 1.5 speed.

[7:54] Fantastic.

[7:55] Which is great because then you'll actually listen to it.

[7:57] I listen to stuff so it makes perfect sense.

Dan McCoy

[8:00] So let's talk about the movie that we watched, I guess.

[8:04] We don't have any more business up top.

[8:06] Yeah.

[8:07] I don't think we did have any business.

[8:08] Sure.

[8:10] This is a movie called Pay the Ghost.

[8:12] Pay the Ghost.

[8:13] Pay the Ghost.

[8:14] So Elliot's not here.

Stuart Wellington

[8:14] Now normally Elliot, our third person.

[8:17] So this is probably a great jumping on point.

[8:18] If you've never listened to the show before, just rewind it.

[8:21] Listen to what you've already listened to all the way over.

[8:23] Now you're at the same spot that you were before.

[8:26] Okay.

[8:27] Thanks for explaining that.

[8:28] Now you're going to listen to us talk about the movie and Dan is going to summarize it.

Dan McCoy

[8:34] I need a little help on this.

Stuart Wellington

[8:37] Okay.

[8:37] So the movie opens way back in ye olden times in New York City.

[8:41] 1657.

[8:41] New York City.

[8:42] Indeed.

[8:43] And this family has been making paste pecanie sauce.

[8:46] And it is not to like by the townsfolk.

[8:49] That's the one that's made in Texas, right?

[8:50] No, that is the one made in New York City.

[8:51] Wait.

[8:52] Paste is the one made in New York City or the rival salsa?

[8:55] The rival salsa.

[8:55] Okay, so the rival salsa is being produced by this family of Wiccans.

[9:00] Kelton.

[9:01] Kelton.

[9:01] Celtics.

[9:02] Kelts?

[9:03] Kelts.

[9:04] Celtics.

[9:05] So it's kind of mysterious.

[9:08] A woman throws some kids with weird masks down in the basement, close the door, and then

[9:12] all of a sudden you hear a bunch of screams and then smash cut.

[9:16] What?

[9:17] 300 years?

[9:17] 400 years?

Zhubin Parang

[9:17] No, well you hear one of the kids scream mama, which the kid shouldn't have said, and

[9:22] another kid clasps his hand over that kid's mouth.

[9:24] Okay.

[9:24] But that's what tips off whoever is upstairs that they're hiding in the basement.

[9:28] Probably a monster of some kind.

[9:29] We can only assume.

[9:30] Who would assault a woman like that upstairs?

[9:34] Who would assault a woman upstairs?

[9:36] Upstairs.

[9:37] Downstairs.

[9:37] Instead of in the assaulting parlor, downstairs.

[9:39] Downstairs.

Stuart Wellington

[9:41] So smash cut to what?

[9:42] 350 years?

[9:43] How many years?

[9:45] I don't know, man.

[9:46] Current modern day.

[9:47] Whenever you're watching this, that's when this is happening.

[9:49] 2050-ish?

Dan McCoy

[9:51] And we've got one, Nicolas Cage, who is on the verge of becoming a bad dad soccer dad.

[9:57] Uh-huh.

[9:57] Because he's never there for his kid.

Stuart Wellington

[10:00] He's too busy chasing that tenure dream in the library at the college he works at.

[10:04] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[10:05] Which seems like a much more important goal than carving a pumpkin with his kid, which I

[10:09] think is what this specific thing was, right?

Stuart Wellington

[10:11] Always my thing with these movies.

[10:12] There's always going to be time to carve pumpkins, guys.

Dan McCoy

[10:14] You'll always.

[10:15] There's a little song called Cats in the Cradle that I think would say otherwise.

Stuart Wellington

[10:19] I think.

[10:20] They eventually got that cat in that cradle, though.

[10:22] And I think that's what works out.

[10:23] At one point, Nicolas Cage even looks his son in the eyes and he's like, I make a promise.

[10:27] And a promise between a dad and a son is the most important one ever.

[10:32] And I'm like, I don't know, dude.

[10:33] Every bad dad says that.

Dan McCoy

[10:35] Yeah.

[10:36] Every shitty dad's like, I got you a toy instead.

[10:39] But yeah, he's supposed to be there for Halloween to carve a pumpkin and go out trick-sortreating

[10:46] with his little kid.

[10:49] But his long-suffering wife has to go out alone with the kid, played by Sarah Wayne Callas,

[10:57] who you might know from The Walking Dead.

Stuart Wellington

[10:59] Now, she's the one that Jubin thinks looks like Natalie Portman.

[11:03] Yeah.

[11:03] And you think looks like a friend of yours who isn't Natalie Portman.

Dan McCoy

[11:07] Yeah, well, that's really helpful for the listeners at home.

[11:10] Yeah, I'm painting a picture for them.

[11:11] That looks like, sort of like Sarah Wayne Callas, who looks sort of like Natalie Portman.

[11:18] So, congratulations to me, I guess.

[11:20] You're not friends, is what I'm saying.

Zhubin Parang

[11:22] I met Natalie Portman once, not to brag, but I sat behind her.

[11:26] I don't know if your tone sounds like you're bragging.

[11:29] A little bit, I guess.

[11:30] I sat behind her at the UCB theater while she was sitting a row ahead of me, and I could

[11:34] smell her hair.

[11:35] How was her laugh?

[11:36] I didn't hear her laugh, I guess.

[11:38] Ooh, a harsh critique.

[11:40] I was too busy trying to laugh casually myself in a way that she would think was kind of cool

[11:44] and want to turn around and hear who that guy who laughs in that cool way was.

[11:48] So, I didn't really pay attention to her.

[11:50] But I did notice her hair smelled pretty nice.

Stuart Wellington

[11:52] That's nice.

[11:53] Okay.

[11:53] She caressed it.

Zhubin Parang

[11:55] Yeah.

[11:55] She snipped a lot of it.

[11:56] I had it in my mouth most of the time, just kind of casually chewing on it.

[12:00] No point.

[12:01] She seemed to recognize it.

[12:02] I mean, smell is a huge part of taste.

[12:04] That's what every chef says.

[12:05] Absolutely.

[12:05] That's how I would know what it smelled like.

[12:07] You can't be sure it's lavender until I've got it all in my taste buds.

Dan McCoy

[12:11] It's like swirling a glass of wine around your mouth.

Zhubin Parang

[12:14] Yeah.

[12:15] Squirreling?

[12:16] Squirreling.

[12:16] I don't think that's the right verb.

[12:19] I'm going to defend Dan.

[12:21] I'm going to be not like you guys.

[12:22] I'm going to defend Dan's verbal slip ups.

[12:24] Okay.

[12:25] Squirreling is a perfectly understandable way to say it.

[12:27] Why?

Stuart Wellington

[12:27] Because you're filling your cheeks with.

[12:29] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[12:29] You're just swishing it around like a squirrel darts back and forth around trees.

Stuart Wellington

[12:33] It's a beautiful visual metaphor.

[12:34] Yeah.

[12:34] I guess that makes sense.

[12:35] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[12:36] I'm on your side, Dan.

[12:37] Thanks.

[12:38] Thanks, buddy.

Stuart Wellington

[12:39] Wow.

[12:40] Emboldened.

[12:40] Dan moves forward with the plot.

[12:44] Well, we're.

[12:44] I'm your best friend on the ladder rung.

[12:45] One above you.

Dan McCoy

[12:48] Sure you are.

[12:49] Sure you are, pal.

[12:52] Anyway, so Nicholas Cage comes home chuffed that he has, in fact, gotten his tenure.

[13:00] Hell yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[13:01] You know.

[13:02] He got his fucking tenure.

[13:04] And.

[13:04] About time.

Dan McCoy

[13:05] He says to his wife, honey, now everything is going to be better forever.

[13:10] It's going to be different.

[13:11] Nothing bad is going to happen.

Stuart Wellington

[13:12] It's me, Jimmy Stewart.

[13:13] For the rest of my life.

Dan McCoy

[13:15] For the rest of my life, it's nothing going to be so smooth sailing for all three of us.

[13:20] Especially our son.

[13:21] As long as nobody steps on my blue suede shoes, we should be all gray.

[13:24] Oh.

Zhubin Parang

[13:25] He sounds a lot like Elvis Presley in this movie.

[13:27] Is that how he's.

[13:29] I don't think I've seen as many Nicholas Cage movies as you guys have.

[13:31] But he sounded particularly like Elvis Presley in this movie.

Dan McCoy

[13:33] He's always kind of mumbly, but he's more so, I think, in this film.

Stuart Wellington

[13:37] So, I'm going to peel back the curtain a little bit, guys, to reveal the inner workings of the podcast.

[13:43] This, I think, was the first time we've ever had to turn on the closed captionings for a movie.

[13:49] Yeah.

[13:49] Because we, like the first couple scenes, we couldn't understand a word out of his mouth.

[13:54] Yeah.

[13:55] Jubin had to fill me in that they were not in Arizona.

[13:58] And that at some point that Nicholas Cage was trying to get tenure.

Zhubin Parang

[14:02] I think you literally could not hear that area.

[14:05] They said the word area, and it sounded like Arizona.

[14:07] Yeah.

[14:08] It was a really bad sound job.

[14:09] Oh, Archie's on my lap.

[14:11] Yeah.

[14:13] The listeners love to hear about Archie, so don't keep any Archie news.

[14:18] He's a very friendly fun cat.

[14:20] Here's one thing, by the way, just a small thing, that we don't really see what his, what

[14:24] Nicholas Cage's field is in when he gets tenure, but all he does when he's in class is just

[14:29] read out spooky stories to the students.

Dan McCoy

[14:32] Yeah, scary stories to tell in the dark.

Stuart Wellington

[14:33] Yeah.

[14:34] I've attended a lot of college courses, guys, and a lot of them feature a guy reading a

[14:39] class of students in costumes a story.

[14:43] The first one was like a poem, right?

Dan McCoy

[14:45] It was like Goethe, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[14:47] I think.

[14:48] But still, like, you do the reading before class.

[14:51] I mean, I'm not familiar with that specific Goethe work, but it could be one of his longer

[14:55] works, like Faustus or something.

Dan McCoy

[14:57] Oh, hello.

[14:58] Archie's now moved over to my lap.

Zhubin Parang

[15:00] He literally ends the class by saying, don't ever forget that Poe and Lovecraft.

Stuart Wellington

[15:05] Yeah, he's like, pour one out for Poe and Lovecraft tonight.

Zhubin Parang

[15:08] The thing is, they wanted to scare the shit out of you, and the class laughs because he

[15:12] said the bad word.

Stuart Wellington

[15:13] Yeah, yeah.

[15:14] I mean, he just showed that he was on their level, like he's a cool dude.

Zhubin Parang

[15:17] I don't see how he could have gotten tenure, though.

[15:18] I think his tenure was granted inappropriately, is what I'm saying.

[15:21] Oh, okay.

[15:22] And I think the movie is really a punishment for him.

[15:25] Sure.

[15:26] I think his son's abduction is in some way a punishment for the ease of tenure with which

[15:30] this university was done.

Stuart Wellington

[15:31] So, spoiler alert, his son gets abducted.

[15:33] We knew that was going to happen.

[15:34] The kid was seeing ghosts all over the fucking place.

[15:37] Yeah.

[15:37] They go for a walk at the carnival around the corner.

Dan McCoy

[15:40] Yeah.

[15:41] The dad is like, oh, I'm so sorry for not being here.

[15:45] Let me take him out to the carnival for just 30 minutes.

Stuart Wellington

[15:47] Okay.

[15:48] You did a pretty good Nicolas Cage right there.

[15:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[15:50] The problem was subtlety.

[15:51] I brought it back.

[15:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[15:53] So, while they're at the carnival, the kid's looking all over the place and up in the air,

[15:57] he's like, seeing these fucking vultures flying around, which kind of look real, but also

[16:02] totally look fake.

[16:04] It feels like they stepped from the streets of the Big Apple all the way down to the Big

[16:10] Easy, because it feels like we're in Nolans, baby.

[16:13] What?

[16:14] Yeah, right?

[16:15] It's like a street fair with stilt walkers.

[16:19] Mardi Gras, carnival.

[16:20] I got you.

[16:21] So, Nicolas Cage goes and buys a swirl ice cream cone from a dude who is way too tall for the

[16:27] ice cream counter he's working at.

[16:29] He basically has to order from the guy's belt buckle.

[16:32] You point out the guy's crotch cleared the shelf.

[16:35] And then Nicolas Cage's son disappears, and he's like, where's my son?

[16:39] He's like, I can't see him, even though I have this elevated perch, which should give

[16:43] me advantage on all spot checks.

Zhubin Parang

[16:46] You think as an ice cream man, I'd be particularly able to look at children, but no.

Stuart Wellington

[16:51] Oh, so you're saying that his job experience makes him better able to spot kids in a crowd.

Zhubin Parang

[16:56] I mean, it's just money in the bank, right?

[16:57] Yeah, exactly.

[16:58] You see kids, you see potential sales.

[17:01] Victims.

[17:01] They're victims.

Stuart Wellington

[17:03] Yeah, that's what they call them in the biz.

[17:05] The ice cream biz.

Zhubin Parang

[17:07] This is actually an important point, though.

[17:08] Right before the kid disappears, he looks up at his dad and says, can we pay the ghost?

[17:13] Can we pay the ghost?

Stuart Wellington

[17:15] Which, at this point, we're like, hell yeah, we got the title of the movie.

[17:19] Nicolas Cage doesn't really care.

[17:21] He's like, I'm already reverted to my absentee father.

[17:25] He's like, shut up, kid.

[17:26] I got to pay this guy's crotch for this ice cream.

[17:28] Then we can pay the ghost.

Dan McCoy

[17:29] Then we can pet the ghost all you want, little guy.

[17:32] You little boggling.

[17:33] I imagine the movie sounds like, the title sounds like they're at home every month doing

[17:43] the taxes, or every month doing the taxes.

[17:46] Every month doing their bills.

[17:47] Yeah.

[17:48] Being like, honey, do you remember to pay the ghost?

[17:50] Yeah.

[17:51] Yeah, yeah, I paid the ghost.

[17:53] It's on autopay, so the ghost gets paid no matter what.

[17:56] That's the thing.

Zhubin Parang

[17:56] You lose your credit card, they switch the numbers out, but you forget the autopay, so

[18:00] then the autopay doesn't go through.

Stuart Wellington

[18:02] All my fucking porno subscriptions, they laugh, so I can't watch all my pornos.

Zhubin Parang

[18:06] But you can't forget the ghost, because you got Mr. Skin, you got a thing, I'll get it

[18:09] next month.

[18:10] And then look what happens.

[18:11] Yeah.

[18:12] And your kid gets taken by the ghost, and your wife leaves you.

[18:14] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[18:15] Yeah.

[18:15] And then you can't even go to Mr. Skin, because your account laughs.

Dan McCoy

[18:19] Speaking of which, the son gets taken by the ghost, and his wife leaves him.

[18:24] Yeah.

[18:25] Nicolas Cage freaks out for a minute.

Stuart Wellington

[18:27] His wife freaks out, serious style.

[18:29] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[18:29] She's like, why couldn't you have protected him?

Stuart Wellington

[18:31] I'm just going to make this peanut butter and jelly with the crust cut off, and I don't

[18:35] know, stick it in a bag and hug it.

Zhubin Parang

[18:37] Yeah.

[18:38] She goes through every phase within five minutes.

[18:40] The sobbing, the crazy, the looking out the window.

Stuart Wellington

[18:44] That's a thing.

[18:45] It's expediency in storytelling, Jouven, that you have an entire story in a single scene,

[18:52] like in the movie Unforgiven.

[18:55] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[18:55] I guess I didn't think about this movie's efficiency.

[18:57] Yeah.

[18:57] That's what I like when I see a story, just to get through the whole point of it quickly.

[19:00] Yeah.

[19:01] Yeah.

[19:03] Practicality.

[19:03] I don't need atmosphere.

Stuart Wellington

[19:04] So then we flash forward.

[19:06] It says one year later, but they're lying, right?

[19:08] It's one year minus three days.

[19:10] Three and 62 days.

[19:11] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:12] Because it's three days before Halloween, and Nicolas Cage is a haunted man.

[19:18] He's going around stapling wanted, not wanted.

[19:23] Wanted.

Stuart Wellington

[19:24] Dead or alive.

[19:25] Bad boy Bart for robbing my carriage.

[19:29] Wanted my son dead or alive.

Zhubin Parang

[19:33] Smaller letters.

[19:35] Preferably alive.

[19:37] No questions asked.

Dan McCoy

[19:41] Whatever it takes just to get some answers.

[19:45] No, he's putting missing posters.

Stuart Wellington

[19:47] No questions asked seems like a really weird caveat to put on any kind of a contract,

[19:52] because most contracts require at least one or two questions, right?

Zhubin Parang

[19:57] Yeah.

[19:58] But no questions asked.

[19:59] It's like, I'm that desperate, and I won't consider any criminalities that you might have

[20:03] engaged in to get me the object.

Stuart Wellington

[20:05] You can't even be like, oh, thanks for catching my son and bringing him back alive.

[20:07] Would you like a glass of water?

[20:09] And the guy's like, I said, I agreed to no questions.

Zhubin Parang

[20:12] It said no questions are going to be asked.

[20:13] I'm taking your son back.

[20:15] This deal's off.

[20:16] I remember when you think someone's, like when you lose a ring or money, and you want it

[20:21] back, you put like sign out saying like, you know, reward for return, no questions

[20:25] asked, which kind of is like, if you stole it.

[20:27] You know, like Craigslist?

[20:29] Or like posters all around the neighborhood.

[20:31] Like no questions asked kind of be like, if you stole it, just bring it to me.

[20:33] Bring it back.

[20:33] And I'm not going to call the cops.

[20:35] Like I'll give you a percentage.

[20:37] Yeah.

[20:37] This ring belonged to my, you know, my mother's friend.

[20:41] And I have it for a weird reason.

[20:43] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[20:44] Some reason.

Stuart Wellington

[20:45] I don't want to get into questions.

[20:47] You're using an anecdote we can all identify with.

Dan McCoy

[20:49] It's an heirloom from my mother's friend.

[20:52] That's been handed down through mother's friend, through mother's friend for generation.

Zhubin Parang

[20:56] If I start asking questions, other people start asking questions.

[20:58] It's just the whole thing.

Stuart Wellington

[20:59] Yeah.

[21:00] How did you come in contact with this?

[21:02] We said no questions on either side, man.

Dan McCoy

[21:06] Oh, where did we leave off?

[21:07] Oh, so, you know, Nicolas Cage is still obsessed.

Stuart Wellington

[21:10] So he's got one of those like evidence boards where it's got a bunch of pictures on a map.

[21:14] Although, as we pointed out while watching it, there's not a single piece of red string to be found.

[21:18] He has not made any connections yet.

Zhubin Parang

[21:20] How would you visually connect any two pieces of evidence without that?

[21:23] I don't understand.

Dan McCoy

[21:24] And he keeps going to the.

[21:25] Might as well just be like a dreams board, like a secret.

Stuart Wellington

[21:28] Yeah, yeah.

[21:28] It's his.

Dan McCoy

[21:29] It's a vision board.

[21:30] Yeah, a vision board.

[21:31] He keeps going to the police and calling them lazy for not finding a son.

[21:35] Even though it seems like this one police officer, the one case he has is finding this guy's son.

[21:40] Like, he seems like the most dedicated New York City police officer that.

[21:43] And he clarifies that they're not lazy.

Stuart Wellington

[21:45] And I can't disagree with him because that office is immaculate.

Zhubin Parang

[21:48] It is the nicest New York City police department office.

[21:51] I've only been to a couple, but that looks like a.

[21:53] The cubicles are well organized.

[21:55] Everything looks clean.

[21:56] There's like beautiful staircases that go up.

[21:59] There's carpet, which I've never seen a police station ever before.

[22:02] I'm sounding like I'm a real expert in police stations.

[22:04] I've only been to a couple.

Stuart Wellington

[22:06] Yeah, yeah.

[22:07] And those are all.

[22:07] Are you normal?

[22:08] Yeah, those are all normal reasons.

[22:11] You weren't being hauled in because of that wanted poster.

Zhubin Parang

[22:15] It said no questions asked, and I was very clear about it.

Stuart Wellington

[22:18] Mr. Brain, can you explain why you had in your possession your mother's friend's ring?

Zhubin Parang

[22:23] I believe when I came here, doctor, I mean officer.

[22:27] Wow, doctor.

[22:28] Wow.

[22:28] I really.

Stuart Wellington

[22:29] He can be a doctor, too.

[22:30] Maybe classes at night school.

[22:32] He's a doctor.

[22:34] Officers can be doctors these days.

[22:35] I mean, that is a fucking TV show.

[22:39] That's a pilot.

[22:40] Officer doctor.

Zhubin Parang

[22:41] Oh, my God.

[22:42] Like he heals the gunshot wound while he's prosecuting the case.

Stuart Wellington

[22:45] Exactly.

[22:46] Or it could be a she, Zubin.

Zhubin Parang

[22:48] Yeah.

[22:48] Oh, I don't think people believe that.

[22:49] Women can be officer doctors.

Stuart Wellington

[22:53] And she also works at a magazine in New York City.

[22:57] She just can't find that boyfriend.

[22:59] She's a triple threat.

[23:01] Okay, so he hasn't found his kid.

[23:05] It's a year later.

[23:05] His wife is like, I'm not into you that much anymore.

Dan McCoy

[23:08] Yeah, she's like, give it up.

Stuart Wellington

[23:09] And then pretty quickly, they kind of get back together, right?

[23:12] After he has a couple of run-ins with possible ghosts.

Dan McCoy

[23:15] Yeah, we'll get there.

[23:17] Nicolas Cage sees his son on a bus and he chases it down.

Stuart Wellington

[23:23] And it's one of many scenes where Nicolas Cage runs and you're like,

[23:25] Oh, don't make him run like that.

[23:27] He's getting old.

[23:28] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[23:29] Yeah, his gate was a little wobbly.

[23:32] Yeah.

[23:32] But he still ran what looked like 7 Avenue blocks chasing that bus.

Stuart Wellington

[23:36] Yeah, I mean, the chase scene took forever.

[23:38] Yeah.

[23:39] It was very dull.

[23:40] Yeah, it was like 25 minutes to run in 7 Avenue blocks.

[23:43] It was weird.

[23:43] And the bus didn't make a single stop, which is...

[23:46] And there's people waiting.

[23:47] They're waving their tickets or whatever people do for the bus.

Zhubin Parang

[23:49] There's like a long line of people running with him after the bus just because he wanted to get on it.

Dan McCoy

[23:53] The son isn't actually on the bus, of course, but when Nicolas Cage gets off the bus, he's in this dingy part of town and he sees a dilapidated building with the graffiti, pay the ghost on the side of it.

[24:06] Mm-hmm.

[24:07] And so he has to go investigate.

[24:09] Lightbulb explodes above his head.

[24:10] What his son what said.

[24:11] Yeah, this is he had forgotten this all the year, even though it was literally the last thing his son said to him.

[24:18] And it seems like it could have been a clue.

Stuart Wellington

[24:20] So he goes into this abandoned warehouse, abandoned except for three vultures that are pecking away at something outside, which I think if I saw vultures in New York, I would assume that they escaped from a zoo or something.

[24:32] Yeah.

[24:32] Like, that's a big bird.

[24:34] I don't know what they're indigenous to, but it's got to be like the desert southwest.

[24:37] I mean, yeah, based on cartoons, I assume that they're eating the legs off of the guy in the croc cartoon.

[24:45] They live in cow skulls.

Dan McCoy

Stuart Wellington

[24:49] That's their economy, Dan.

[24:50] They trade those.

[24:52] Cow skull-based economy.

Zhubin Parang

[24:54] The older the cow, the more valuable the skull.

[24:55] That only makes sense, dude.

[24:57] You've got yourself a millionaire, my friend.

Dan McCoy

[24:59] Yeah.

[24:59] Nice.

[25:00] So he goes in and he finds a bunch of homeless people in there.

Stuart Wellington

[25:04] Yeah, it's that like movie trope of the guy leaves his sheltered like suburban life.

[25:11] He finds a weird warehouse that's just filled with like skills or mole people or like Dennis Leary's gang of people from Demolition Man that are all living underground.

[25:22] And I think, I swear we've seen other, like that one Nicolas Cage revenge movie was at Rage where he's, I can't even remember these movies anymore, Dan.

Zhubin Parang

[25:33] My brain.

[25:34] You were pointing out, though, that is a trope.

[25:36] There's a lot of scenes where like people think there's just like whole communities living underground in New York.

Stuart Wellington

[25:41] Yeah, I mean, it's in New York.

[25:43] There was like, or like the abandoned mall downtown, like things like that.

Dan McCoy

[25:47] Whereas we all know that Giuliani got rid of all the chuds.

Stuart Wellington

[25:49] Yeah, he cleared them out himself with a flamethrower and a hatchet.

Dan McCoy

[25:53] Speaking of flames, now there's this like wailing woman who is in this homeless area, like this wailing woman's voice.

[26:04] And whenever this woman wails, the flames of the barrel fires light up.

[26:09] They burn all the heavier.

[26:12] That seems pretty normal, right?

[26:13] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[26:15] Kind of cliche, honestly.

[26:16] There's a lot of real cliche ghost things happening here.

Dan McCoy

[26:20] Nicolas Cage asked this blind homeless man what the deal with this is.

[26:23] And he's like, I don't know, the screams happen around Halloween.

[26:27] Go figure, man.

[26:28] They seem pretty blasé about the fact of ghosts.

Stuart Wellington

[26:29] Yeah, Nicolas Cage is like, well, all this stuff adds up.

[26:32] I'll see you guys later.

[26:33] I'll come back for the third act.

Dan McCoy

[26:35] Homeless people in movies are like children and dogs.

[26:40] Go on.

[26:42] They seem to be keyed in.

[26:43] Unable to support themselves financially.

[26:46] They're just treated as if they have some special connection to the spirit world.

Stuart Wellington

[26:55] Oh.

[26:55] That's really true, yeah.

[26:57] Well, it's kind of like in the movie Revenge of the Nerds where the nerd after raping the girl makes the explanation that nerds make better lovers because they have, unlike jocks, who spend all their time thinking about sports, nerds spend all their time thinking about girls.

[27:10] Which is crazy because nerds spend all their time thinking about nerdy shit, not sex.

[27:16] But so what I think what they're trying to say is that these homeless people, they're not caught up in the rat race of our commerce and economy.

[27:25] They have more time to just connect with the earth and the spirit realm.

Zhubin Parang

[27:29] And when you were a kid, you saw and talked to ghosts all the time.

[27:32] But somewhere along the way, the money kind of just took your attention away from all of that.

[27:38] Yep.

[27:38] Talked to Casper all the time.

Stuart Wellington

[27:39] There was one ghost.

[27:41] That annoying Casper ghost.

[27:43] Hot damn it, Casper.

[27:44] I'm busy.

[27:45] We're like Robin Williams in that Hook movie.

[27:48] Like we kind of got wrapped up in being businessmen when we could be Peter Pans.

Dan McCoy

[27:53] Yeah.

[27:54] Or Robin Williams in the Fisher King where he was a crazy homeless man.

Stuart Wellington

[27:57] Oh, and he is connected to the spirit world, right?

[28:00] Sort of.

[28:00] He's like a necromancer in that movie.

[28:03] Does he bring...

[28:04] He's connected to the fantasy grail world.

Dan McCoy

[28:07] Oh, that's the same thing.

[28:08] Yeah.

[28:08] Did he use a kid or a dog?

[28:11] Just like a kid or a dog is connected to Arthurian legend.

Stuart Wellington

[28:14] I mean, there was a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.

Dan McCoy

[28:18] Yeah.

[28:18] I mean, he wasn't a kid or a dog.

[28:20] He was...

[28:20] I thought he was a kid.

[28:21] No, you're thinking of a kid in King Arthur's Court.

[28:25] What is that?

[28:26] Is that a movie?

[28:26] That's a movie.

[28:29] Anyway, so...

[28:32] Basically, Mike is...

[28:35] Mike being in his cage.

[28:36] Is Nicolas Cage's movie.

[28:38] He is...

[28:39] He's twigging to the fact that there's something supernatural going on.

[28:44] Yeah.

[28:45] He's seeing his kid.

[28:46] He's seeing the things the kid said.

Stuart Wellington

[28:47] Unsurprisingly, the police, the detective in charge of the case, not really into it, but he does do a little bit of research.

[28:53] He goes and he's starting to realize that on Halloween, there's a lot more missing children.

[29:01] And almost none of those cases get solved.

[29:04] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[29:05] The percentage of cases that get solved of missing children on other days that aren't Halloween is higher than on Halloween.

[29:12] So something is going on.

Stuart Wellington

[29:14] I'm assuming this is a New York-based statistic.

[29:17] Yeah.

[29:18] Which is where the movie's set.

Zhubin Parang

[29:19] They were looking through the New York...

[29:21] I also got to say, I was pretty impressed that they didn't say, like, all these kids were found not on Halloween, but on Halloween, none of the kids were found.

[29:26] They actually said, like, a slightly lower percentage of the children are found on Halloween, and it made it feel a little bit more believable.

[29:32] Because otherwise you'd think somebody would have realized before Nicolas Cage's character.

[29:36] Yeah.

[29:37] Just the fact that he saw a statistical difference that, although not huge, was enough for making him realize that it's statistically significant.

Stuart Wellington

[29:43] Yeah.

[29:43] It's like the big short.

[29:44] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[29:45] He really was the big short of haunted children.

Dan McCoy

[29:50] Meanwhile, Nicolas Cage has tried to make his wife believe that something's going on, and she is not having any of it until she sees a kid's razor scooter rolling around the house on its own.

[30:02] Yeah.

[30:02] And she's like, all right.

Stuart Wellington

[30:04] Doesn't she look at a haunted iPad and become a ghost for a little while and then cut up her arm?

[30:08] That's later.

[30:09] That's later.

Dan McCoy

[30:10] At first, it's just a razor scooter that turns her around.

Zhubin Parang

[30:13] It doesn't take a lot to get these people immediately believing in supernatural phenomena.

Stuart Wellington

[30:18] She forgives Nicolas Cage.

[30:19] What a way to date your fucking movie.

[30:21] Have it be a razor scooter.

[30:23] Like, it's a haunted pair of fucking Heelys scooting around the floor.

[30:27] It's a haunted hoverboard.

Dan McCoy

[30:30] It's a pair of Uggs just circling around.

[30:32] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[30:33] It's a haunted.

[30:34] Those were his favorite shoes.

Dan McCoy

[30:36] A haunted Pokemon Go app.

Stuart Wellington

[30:38] Way to date our podcast, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[30:41] I am.

[30:42] For future historians.

[30:43] Yeah.

[30:44] For future historians.

[30:45] Yep.

[30:46] Thank you.

[30:49] But anyway, so they start working together, Nicolas Cage and his wife.

[30:55] Uh-huh.

[30:56] And, um...

[30:57] The one who looks like your friend.

[30:59] Yeah.

[31:00] And Nicolas Cage is seeing visions...

[31:02] Natalie Portman.

Dan McCoy

[31:02] The friend Natalie Portman.

[31:03] Of things like, um...

[31:06] Children burning up.

[31:08] And ghost children staring at them all pale-like.

[31:11] And, uh...

[31:12] So they call on a psychic to help.

Stuart Wellington

[31:15] Yeah, I mean, that actually kind of seems like a natural choice at this point.

[31:19] Because I think they realize that there's something going on.

[31:20] The detective, on the other hand, is doing a little research.

[31:23] He investigates the mother of one of the other missing children.

[31:27] And when the woman explains what her daughter said,

[31:30] which was something very similar to Pay the Ghost,

[31:33] it causes a grease fire.

[31:35] And we're like, whoa, the ghost is on them.

Zhubin Parang

[31:37] You're just like, what happened down in the homeless basement?

[31:39] Yeah.

[31:39] Yep.

[31:40] Yeah.

[31:41] There's a lot.

[31:42] There's a theme that's building here.

[31:43] Mm-hmm.

[31:44] And I think that...

[31:44] I feel like if I was them, I would go for a psychic, too.

[31:48] That seemed like a pretty rational decision.

[31:50] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[31:50] Either a psychic or maybe a fireman?

[31:54] To burn the house down?

[31:56] Well, no.

[31:57] Just there's always...

[31:57] Get their kid down.

[31:58] Wait a minute.

[31:58] I think you're misinterpreting what firemen do.

Zhubin Parang

[32:01] I believe that there's a fireman.

Stuart Wellington

[32:03] You call the fireman and come help the fire.

[32:06] But I mean, yeah.

[32:07] I'm cold.

[32:08] Can you warm me up, fireman?

[32:11] Rapidly and too much?

[32:13] The...

[32:14] No, but the...

[32:15] It seems like the ghost clearly has some kind of fire-based powers.

Dan McCoy

[32:19] Yeah.

[32:19] Well, not the least of which because she takes the psychic, the ghost, and burns the hell

[32:25] out of her from the inside out.

[32:27] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[32:29] Yeah, so that was a scene that was one of the many scare scenes that was aided by a little

[32:36] bit of CGI trickery.

[32:39] A little bit of fancy computer graphics to make it a little more special.

[32:43] Digi-magic.

[32:44] Yeah.

[32:45] So she flies around and stuff flies out of her nose and her eyes change colors.

[32:51] And then...

[32:52] Yep.

Zhubin Parang

[32:53] She's...

[32:53] Wait, so they have her in the kid's room to try and figure out if there's something that

[32:56] she can do.

[32:57] Mm-hmm.

[32:57] The wind suddenly, like, comes in through the window, smashes against the wall.

[33:01] Something chokes her to death.

[33:02] She starts speaking in tongues or something.

[33:04] She's crying out.

[33:05] And then, like, you can see smoke start kind of pouring out of her mouth and nose.

[33:08] Like, she just took a huge hit off of her vape pipe.

[33:11] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[33:11] Like, she was the coolest psychic you've ever seen.

Dan McCoy

[33:14] And so the police come and, like, take the dead psychic out of the apartment.

[33:20] And they're like, uh, something weird.

Stuart Wellington

[33:22] Just stick her with the rest, boys.

Dan McCoy

[33:25] Nicolas Cage is like, uh, there's some force that stole my son.

[33:30] And then the detective's like, um, you just seem to have a lot of shitty stuff happen around

[33:35] you all the time.

[33:36] Like, people getting kidnapped and psychics getting burnt up.

Stuart Wellington

[33:40] Mm-hmm.

[33:41] Maybe you're to blame.

[33:42] Well, he says, maybe you shouldn't leave town for a while.

[33:45] And part of me's like, I don't know if there's all this trouble happening around him.

[33:49] Maybe you should leave town.

[33:50] Yeah, he's bringing a lot of bad shit in here.

[33:52] That's paperwork for you, Detective Jordan.

Zhubin Parang

[33:53] It's weird.

[33:54] The detective went through, like, a...

[33:56] Usually people go from skeptic to believing the story.

[34:00] In these, like, supernatural movies.

[34:01] But the detective went from kind of believing it initially to seeing this psychic being wheeled

[34:06] out and being like, whatever, man.

[34:08] I believe in facts and logic.

Stuart Wellington

[34:10] He's like, you probably killed this psychic.

[34:12] Yeah.

[34:12] You invited over.

Zhubin Parang

[34:13] He actually kind of, like, the more it's confirmed for him, he kind of just abandons the theory

[34:17] that there's supernatural phenomenon.

[34:18] Mm-hmm.

[34:19] It's weird.

[34:19] Like, I think I would have liked it if the detective...

Stuart Wellington

[34:21] Yeah, what's the other case that these two people invited a psychic to their home, the

[34:25] psychic was like, there's nothing here.

[34:27] You guys are crazy.

[34:28] And so they just beat her to death?

[34:33] Like, that's crazy.

[34:35] Stick a flamethrower down her throat?

[34:37] That's the thing.

[34:37] The simplest answer is probably the most...

[34:41] They immolated her from the inside.

[34:43] They fed her too much spicy food.

[34:46] They gave her their three-alarm chili.

[34:49] It was weird.

[34:50] When he first started being so fed up...

[34:51] You wouldn't want to try the five-alarm chili.

Zhubin Parang

[34:52] It's way worse.

[34:53] No, no.

[34:54] No, you got to go blow your nose out after that.

[34:57] Your organs are liquefied.

[34:58] I think you were saying, like, when the detective was initially...

[35:02] When he heard the evidence, he kind of started investigating the supernatural possibilities,

[35:06] which initially felt like, oh, this is, like, a cool thing.

[35:09] Usually detectives are, like, becoming an obstacle to the protagonist.

Dan McCoy

[35:12] Yeah, well, at least he was, like, oh, okay, you know, like, there's some indication that

[35:19] something is going on on Halloween.

Stuart Wellington

[35:20] Well, yeah, because Nicolas Cage actually brings up something that isn't exclusively supernatural-based.

[35:25] Like, he's not, like, all my evidence posts...

[35:28] All my evidence...

[35:28] Posits a ghost is...

[35:30] It's, like, there's something actually happening on Halloween.

[35:33] Maybe you should check that out, Mr. Detective.

[35:36] Mm-hmm.

[35:36] I think you're so big.

[35:38] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[35:40] Yep.

[35:41] It's because you have a badge and a gun and a handsome face, Mr. Detective.

[35:46] I mean, he was a good-looking guy.

[35:48] He's got...

[35:49] He's got a date to get to.

[35:50] I didn't see a ring on his finger.

[35:50] He can't just spend his whole time hanging out with us.

Stuart Wellington

[35:52] Do you think I have a chance?

[35:53] Is that what you're saying?

Dan McCoy

[35:54] What?

[35:54] Do you think I have a chance?

[35:56] I think you do have a chance, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[35:58] All right.

[35:58] I mean, you can't hurt to talk to him.

[36:00] Just walk by.

[36:00] Detective from Pay the Ghost.

[36:01] I mean, yeah, I mean...

[36:02] Yeah.

[36:03] Just start a conversation.

[36:05] You can say that you liked his face.

[36:09] No, wait.

[36:10] Rewind, then.

[36:10] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[36:11] You can say you like that he did his police work.

[36:15] You know what?

[36:15] It's not going to help hearing it from us.

[36:17] You just got to be yourself.

[36:18] And you just got to go up there and be like, just tell him what you're all about.

[36:22] I think...

[36:23] And you know what?

[36:23] If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

[36:25] Yeah.

[36:25] If this detective from Pay the Ghost does not start dating you, then I think it was just...

[36:30] You know, there's other fish in the sea.

Stuart Wellington

[36:31] This is a big, crazy world, Dan.

[36:32] Yeah.

[36:33] All right.

[36:34] Thanks, guys.

[36:34] You deserve a chance at love with the detective from Pay the Ghost.

[36:38] I'm going to try and date that detective.

[36:41] Wow.

[36:41] You're going to scoop him.

Dan McCoy

[36:43] So, where do we...

[36:45] Oh, what happens next is the...

[36:48] Charlie, the kid, possesses the wife of Nicholas Cage, his mom, and is like, oh, she's coming.

Stuart Wellington

[36:58] I'm scared.

[36:59] So, you know she's possessed because she moves, like, super-duper fast.

Dan McCoy

[37:02] Yeah, she moves like a Japanese ghost lady.

Stuart Wellington

[37:05] She moves like Jet Li would move if they didn't have to slow down the video for his kung fu moves.

[37:11] So, you'll say if Jet Li was a Japanese water ghost.

Dan McCoy

[37:15] Yeah, I guess...

[37:16] But she's also carved this symbol into her arm while she's under the influence of ghost possession.

Stuart Wellington

[37:29] The ghost being their son.

[37:31] So, their son is sending a message from beyond the pale.

[37:35] Beyond the pale?

[37:36] Yeah, yeah.

[37:36] That's like from beyond the grave.

[37:38] Beyond the veil.

[37:39] The wedding veil.

[37:39] Or beyond the veil.

[37:40] Yep.

[37:41] Their son's getting married.

[37:43] It's terrible they had to find out through an arm carving.

[37:45] If they're not going to accept his lifestyle, then that's going to be what it is.

Zhubin Parang

[37:51] I've still got to lie if I'm trapped by this woman in an ethereal basement.

[37:55] But I'm still playing the field.

Dan McCoy

[37:57] I met someone, yeah.

[37:58] Still kind of going around.

[38:00] So, they've got this symbol.

[38:02] And luckily, they don't go to the cops and be like, my wife also has this thing carved into her arm.

[38:10] The detective at this point is just building a case file on Nicolas Cage.

[38:14] No, they go to Nicolas Cage's friend, like weird Germanic friend at the...

Stuart Wellington

[38:21] Yeah, definitely Scandinavian or German.

[38:24] The university.

Dan McCoy

[38:25] The university.

[38:26] And they look up the symbol, which is a Celtic symbol.

[38:31] And they realize that there's an old Celtic...

Stuart Wellington

[38:34] They pull out their monster manual and they check that symbol against every evil deity.

Dan McCoy

[38:40] Well, they don't find out what the symbol is at the university.

[38:44] Oh, yeah.

[38:45] They find that out later on.

[38:47] What they do at the university is just discover that there was a Celtic church in old New York.

[38:54] Oh, right.

[38:55] Which was once New Amsterdam.

[38:57] Why they changed it?

[38:57] I can't say.

[38:58] I can't say.

Stuart Wellington

[38:59] And people just like it better that way, I guess.

[39:01] So, and they find out that that church does a special ceremony once a year on the night that it is right now in the movie Halloween.

[39:13] Yeah.

[39:14] And they do this dope-ass wicker man party.

[39:17] Yeah.

[39:17] Where everybody wears robes and cool animal masks and they sing these kind of weird songs.

Dan McCoy

[39:24] And so they go up to this lady who's, you know, celebrating Salon, which is the stupid old name for Halloween.

[39:34] Uh-huh.

[39:34] And they're like...

[39:35] It's not as scary.

[39:36] Our son disappeared on Halloween.

[39:40] We think that he'd been totally ghostified.

[39:43] And this lady's like, I'm just a teacher from where?

[39:48] Bayside.

[39:49] Bayside.

[39:50] Like, look, man.

[39:52] Like, basically just like, I'm just a crazy Wiccan lady.

[39:54] Don't talk to me.

[39:55] We just have fun here.

[39:55] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:56] And then they're like, come on, give us some more info.

Dan McCoy

[39:58] But then, like, yeah, they show the thing on the wife's, the symbol on the wife's arm.

[40:04] And suddenly this lady turns into ghost expert number one.

Stuart Wellington

[40:08] She's like, oh, you have a symbol.

[40:10] Okay.

[40:11] So this is every single thing you could ever possibly need to know about this thing.

Zhubin Parang

[40:15] The entire legend is explained in her next six sentences, right?

[40:19] Mm-hmm.

[40:20] She says how, so what's the entire storyline behind this?

Dan McCoy

[40:23] Well, the symbol is of, like, the crone, which it comes and it steals three children every Halloween.

[40:32] Yep.

[40:33] And that's Pang the ghost.

Stuart Wellington

[40:35] And he's like, wait, so is the crone the ghost?

Dan McCoy

[40:38] And she's like, yeah, probably, dude.

[40:39] I don't care.

[40:40] Yeah.

[40:41] On the base idea.

Zhubin Parang

[40:42] But she starts every sentence by saying, like, legend says.

[40:44] And at no point it's like, what legend?

[40:46] Like, where are you hearing this stuff?

Stuart Wellington

[40:48] I do the same thing when I'm bartending.

[40:50] People are like, what do you have on tap?

[40:51] I'm like, well, legend says we have a six-point sweet action.

[40:56] Why is it called that?

[40:58] Well, the legend says.

[41:00] I've heard tell the bathroom is two doors to the right.

[41:03] But you wouldn't want to go there unless you want to use a bathroom.

Zhubin Parang

[41:08] Prophecy foretells that we take credit or debit.

[41:12] No American Express.

Stuart Wellington

[41:14] Yeah, of course not.

[41:16] Prophecy tells that American Express charges higher rates, dudes.

Dan McCoy

[41:21] But, yeah, like, and there's these kids burning little ghost or little kid dolls in the fire.

[41:27] And that's because they don't want to be taken by the ghost.

[41:29] That's the sacrifice that they're making to the ghost.

[41:33] But that goes all the way back to the first scene, right?

Zhubin Parang

[41:36] So what actually happened was.

Dan McCoy

[41:37] Yeah, well, this is, like, half of it gets explained by this lady.

[41:42] Yeah, we get an outline.

[41:43] It's explained by, like, the German lady back at the university.

[41:46] Because, like, the first part is just, like, this general thing about the supernatural.

Stuart Wellington

[41:51] But I think they get enough information that he's like,

[41:53] all right, that place that I heard that lady crying that said pay the ghost on the wall.

Dan McCoy

[41:58] The lady's like, the bonds between the two worlds become permeable on Halloween.

[42:05] And if you want to go get your son, you've got to do it tonight.

[42:08] But you can only do it tonight because after the first year,

[42:12] the three children that are taken can never return.

Stuart Wellington

[42:16] And you're like, thanks for giving me a ticking clock and having really weird rules, dude.

Dan McCoy

[42:20] Yeah, thanks for giving me all the rules I need to know.

Zhubin Parang

[42:23] I guess in Bayside they do things strange.

[42:26] But here in Manhattan, we do things a bit more swanky.

[42:31] Tell me where the cocktail lounge is, where this ghost is, so I can go there.

[42:35] You know, the weird thing about this, not a weird thing,

[42:38] it's just, like, the thing that always happens with these rules whenever someone comes to explain it,

[42:40] it's like, they always give the exact correct amount of information.

[42:43] There's never, like, an extraneous rule.

[42:46] It's always, like, it's always exactly what they need to hear,

[42:48] when they need to hear it, and never,

[42:50] there's never, like, a second legend she heard about how, like,

[42:53] if you turn the chimes westward on the 14th day of November,

[42:57] then the ghost will also dance for you.

[42:59] But I guess that's not really relevant here.

Stuart Wellington

[43:01] It's just, it's such a weird thing.

[43:02] And they're like, keep turning these fucking chimes,

[43:04] and the ghost isn't dancing.

[43:05] Oh, no!

Zhubin Parang

[43:07] Just having the main character be like,

[43:08] ah, okay, we don't need to know that.

[43:10] Like, this other thing seems more important.

[43:12] That's, it's a little lazy,

[43:14] it's all a lazy plot.

Stuart Wellington

[43:16] Yeah, let's say a little lazy.

[43:18] A little lazy.

Zhubin Parang

[43:19] This Bayside teacher happened to have.

Stuart Wellington

[43:20] What, did they show up and find a lady who just gives,

[43:22] does an info dump on them,

[43:23] and they're like, that's exactly all we need to know.

[43:25] Thanks, lady.

[43:26] And they're like, we don't even know your name.

[43:29] Oh.

[43:29] And it's Breyer, of course.

Dan McCoy

[43:32] She's just reading the Wikipedia page for the ghost.

[43:35] Yep.

Zhubin Parang

[43:37] Look at the deal, they leave, and she's like,

[43:38] those guys have to be asking my name.

[43:40] Just give them so much info.

[43:41] Not even a tip, not even a thank you.

[43:44] Yeah, yeah.

[43:45] You know, this, uh...

[43:46] Like my Facebook page.

[43:48] This festival isn't free every year, you know?

[43:50] It costs money.

[43:52] It comes out of my pocket.

Stuart Wellington

[43:53] These songs are on my band camp page.

Dan McCoy

[43:56] So...

[43:57] Nicholas Cage obviously, like, realizes, obviously...

[43:59] I have a really great podcast.

[44:00] Yes.

[44:00] He needs to race uptown to where the,

[44:03] there was the graffiti that said,

[44:04] pay the ghost.

[44:05] Like, that's where he's gotta go,

[44:06] because that's where the wailing woman was.

Stuart Wellington

[44:08] Luckily, in the cab, they get a phone.

[44:10] They call his, uh...

[44:12] Scandinavian friend.

[44:14] Who says, uh...

[44:15] Gives all the information you need,

[44:17] all the backstory of the ghost,

[44:18] gives the ghost's name, all that shit.

[44:20] Then she leaves her office.

[44:21] She's like, what's that in the corner?

[44:22] Ghost pushes her out of a window.

[44:24] She's totally dead.

Dan McCoy

[44:25] Yeah, but that's what was happening in the first scene,

[44:27] is, like, this Celtic lady was being blamed for something.

[44:30] I can't remember.

[44:31] Oh, yeah, we get a flashback.

[44:32] The angry townsfolk come in,

[44:34] and they kill her,

[44:35] and they, or they grab her,

[44:36] and they grab her children,

[44:38] who we saw in the first scene,

[44:39] and they burn her children in front of her,

[44:41] which is why there was a vision of burning children

[44:43] later on in the movie.

[44:45] Yep.

[44:45] And that's why,

[44:46] and she gets burnt,

[44:47] and that's why she has all these fire powers.

Stuart Wellington

[44:49] So while she's watching her kids get burned

[44:51] by these dudes with really gross faces,

[44:54] she gives a curse,

[44:56] so she's like,

[44:56] you guys all thought I was a witch.

[44:58] Well, fuck you.

[44:59] I totally am a witch.

[45:00] I'm going to curse you,

[45:01] and it's going to work forever.

[45:03] So that happens,

[45:04] which is kind of troubling.

[45:06] I'm a little concerned about that.

[45:08] And then,

[45:09] so she burns alive.

Zhubin Parang

[45:10] What's that?

[45:10] Yeah, you know what?

[45:11] You're right,

[45:11] because, like,

[45:12] well, regardless of what happens in the end,

[45:14] they don't really resolve that curse, right?

[45:17] Well, the curse is...

[45:17] Let's get to the end,

[45:18] and we'll, and yeah,

[45:19] let's just realize that.

Stuart Wellington

[45:21] Well, the curse isn't resolved,

[45:22] and it's such a common thing

[45:25] with any kind of, like,

[45:26] a witch story,

[45:27] is they're like,

[45:28] this person was killed

[45:29] because people thought she was a witch,

[45:31] and guess what?

[45:31] She totally was a witch.

[45:33] She cursed them.

[45:34] Yeah, she totally has the power

Zhubin Parang

[45:35] to be able to cast spells on them.

[45:37] But it was also, like,

[45:38] you would think, like,

[45:38] as a victim of injustice herself,

[45:40] she would not want to revisit

[45:41] that injustice among other innocent people.

[45:43] You would think that.

[45:44] You would think that.

[45:45] But you would also think that, like...

[45:46] They're not very progressive politically,

[45:48] I guess is what I'm saying.

Stuart Wellington

[45:48] It's also the idea of, like,

[45:50] oh, in history,

[45:51] people burned women

[45:52] for no real good reason.

[45:54] They were not spellcasters.

[45:56] But this is us saying that in history,

[45:58] yeah, there's a chance

[45:59] some of them were casting actual spells.

[46:00] They got a 50-50, yeah.

[46:01] I think...

[46:02] More often than not,

[46:02] they got it right.

Dan McCoy

[46:03] I may have mentioned this

[46:04] on the podcast before,

[46:05] I can't recall,

[46:06] but I remember when I went up

[46:07] to Salem, Massachusetts,

[46:09] for a wedding,

[46:11] I was really annoyed

[46:12] at how around the town

[46:14] there were all these, like,

[46:15] witch things, like...

[46:17] Like a witch...

[46:18] Pointy hats.

[46:19] Pointy hats,

[46:20] and, like,

[46:20] there was a...

[46:21] There were, like,

[46:23] wax museums and a...

[46:26] There was a statue...

Stuart Wellington

[46:29] Oh, Hollywood's Jeffrey Tambor

[46:30] in the flesh,

[46:31] or wax.

Dan McCoy

[46:32] There's a statue of Samantha

[46:34] from Bewitched,

[46:35] the sitcom,

[46:37] in the middle of the town square.

Zhubin Parang

[46:39] I'm just like...

[46:40] It would be great

[46:40] if it was all wax statues

[46:41] of Hollywood celebrities

[46:42] but all being burned at the stage.

Stuart Wellington

[46:43] Yeah.

[46:44] The statue of Samantha,

[46:45] it says,

[46:46] Samantha would have been...

[46:47] would have been burned alive

[46:49] under normal circumstances

[46:50] had she gone back in time

[46:52] for some stupid reason.

[46:53] Jim Carrey

[46:54] burned to the stake

[46:55] for his rubbery face.

Dan McCoy

[46:58] It really...

[46:59] It upset me, like,

[47:00] the degree to which, like,

[47:01] oh, this town has made

[47:02] a real nice tourist dollar

[47:06] off of these poor,

[47:07] innocent girls

[47:08] who got killed

[47:09] by your ancestors.

Zhubin Parang

[47:11] Doesn't it kind of make you

[47:12] think that they died

[47:13] for a worthy cause, though,

[47:14] to the Massachusetts industry?

[47:17] To stimulate the Massachusetts economy?

[47:18] I mean, if you had to die

[47:19] because you're being accused

[47:19] of witchcraft,

[47:20] I mean, there's not...

[47:21] It's not...

[47:22] At least some flower blooms.

Stuart Wellington

[47:23] Yeah, it's not unlike

[47:24] when you die, Dan,

[47:26] which will probably not be

[47:27] that far in the future.

[47:28] You're, I'm sure,

[47:28] going to want your ashes

[47:29] to be spread upon a field

[47:31] so that your...

[47:32] No way.

[47:32] ...your life-giving body

[47:34] can give forth to new life.

[47:36] Did you hear something?

[47:37] Well, I got a letter

[47:39] from your doctor.

[47:40] It was handwritten

[47:41] for some reason.

[47:43] His doctor said

[47:43] he's going to kill you.

[47:45] Yep.

[47:45] It was all cut-out letters

[47:47] from newspapers.

[47:49] It said something

[47:49] about playing a game,

[47:51] and I'm like,

[47:51] I don't really care

[47:52] about playing a game.

[47:53] I threw it away.

[47:54] It refuses to pay.

[47:56] Like, this is too long.

[47:57] Honk shoe.

[47:58] I'm sleepy.

[47:59] Throw away in the garbage.

Dan McCoy

[48:01] I guess it's good.

[48:01] I know about it.

[48:03] I mean...

[48:03] Yeah, I mean...

[48:04] On balance.

Stuart Wellington

[48:05] Yeah, this is...

[48:05] That is a warning.

Zhubin Parang

[48:06] Sorry, but I...

[48:07] Yeah, like he...

[48:08] So he goes to like...

[48:09] He goes back to that place

[48:10] where it was all...

[48:13] The homeless community.

Stuart Wellington

[48:15] They're pretty much all gone.

[48:16] They're out playing

[48:17] at the carnival.

[48:19] And he finds the blind guy

[48:21] with the dreadlocks,

[48:21] gives him a watch.

[48:23] The blind guy with the dreadlocks

[48:24] is like,

[48:24] okay, I'll take you

[48:25] to the other side.

[48:26] He shows him

[48:27] this magical bridge

[48:28] with...

[48:28] In a smog room

[48:30] or a fog room.

[48:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[48:32] It's just like a bridge

[48:33] through basically nowhere.

[48:34] Yeah, it's the sort of thing

Stuart Wellington

[48:35] that you're like,

[48:36] oh, he's wandering into

[48:37] fucking the set of Nightbreed

[48:39] all of a sudden.

[48:40] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[48:40] Yeah, that's what it reminded me.

[48:42] It reminded me of something

[48:42] out of Hellraiser 2

[48:43] rather than like...

Stuart Wellington

[48:44] Yeah, without the super crazy stuff.

Dan McCoy

[48:48] Without the great stuff

[48:49] that makes Hellraiser 2

[48:50] super awesome.

[48:50] The giant geometry hell.

Zhubin Parang

[48:53] How great also

[48:54] that like the eternal portal

[48:56] between this world

[48:57] and the other world

[48:57] is like 30 subway stops

[48:59] away from where he is.

[49:00] Like he can just...

[49:01] Like how convenient

[49:01] to easily get there.

Stuart Wellington

[49:03] That's super convenient.

[49:04] That's part of the convenience

[49:05] of living in Manhattan.

[49:06] You know what?

[49:06] It's great.

[49:07] Yeah, you can really...

[49:07] I'd like to show you

[49:08] this apartment.

[49:09] It's sun-drenched

[49:09] and very near a portal

[49:11] to the other world.

[49:12] There's no roof.

[49:13] It's steps from the subway.

Zhubin Parang

[49:14] It's steps.

Stuart Wellington

[49:15] It's other world adjacent.

Zhubin Parang

[49:18] It's 400 steps

[49:19] from the subway.

[49:21] The cries that damned

[49:22] are in my ear all night,

[49:22] but I can take a cab home, so...

Dan McCoy

[49:25] So he rushes into

[49:26] the nether worlds

[49:28] and he goes...

[49:29] It connects to the cabin

[49:31] that we saw in the flashback

[49:32] and he goes

[49:33] and he gets the...

[49:34] He goes into the basement

[49:35] where the kids were hiding

[49:37] and he goes down

[49:37] and there's a sea.

[49:38] And this is like

[49:38] her old house.

[49:39] He goes back into

[49:40] the old house

[49:41] where she was murdered

[49:42] or pulled from.

[49:42] Yeah, he goes back in time.

Stuart Wellington

[49:43] He does not need

[49:44] a DeLorean.

[49:46] He's just back there.

[49:47] Just that long bridge.

[49:47] He does not need

[49:48] ZZ Top.

[49:49] Mm-mm.

[49:50] No.

[49:50] Doesn't need

[49:51] the power of love.

[49:52] Mm-mm.

[49:52] So he's down there

[49:53] in the basement

[49:54] and that basement

[49:54] is this big room

[49:56] filled with scary ghost kids.

[49:58] The very basement

[49:59] her children hid

[50:00] to avoid...

[50:01] And it's...

[50:01] That was kind of

[50:02] the coolest thing in the movie.

[50:03] I think that's a great scene

[50:05] that's slightly undone

[50:06] by special effects

[50:07] but it's a scene

[50:08] where he goes downstairs

[50:09] and it's all these

[50:10] little ghost kids

[50:10] looking at him

[50:11] and because they were

[50:12] all abducted on Halloween

[50:13] they're all wearing costumes.

[50:15] Yeah.

[50:16] And he says...

[50:17] He's like,

[50:17] Charlie?

[50:19] And all the kids

[50:20] raise their hand

[50:20] and he's like...

[50:21] It's a little heartbreaking.

[50:23] Yeah.

[50:23] They all think

[50:24] they're Charlies.

[50:25] They're all...

Zhubin Parang

[50:26] I thought they were all

[50:28] just trying to like

[50:28] get to...

[50:29] Oh, yeah.

[50:30] And be like,

[50:31] I'm Charlie.

[50:32] Yeah, remember me?

[50:34] I'm your little boy.

[50:34] You're a precious boy.

[50:36] I look like a girl now

[50:37] but believe you, me.

Stuart Wellington

[50:39] Like an old-timey newscaster?

Zhubin Parang

[50:41] This has been happening

[50:42] for 300 years, right?

[50:44] It's got to be

[50:44] some 1940s girls there.

Dan McCoy

[50:45] You know I'm a

[50:46] Native American girl

[50:47] but I'm Charlie.

[50:48] I can be your Charlie.

Stuart Wellington

[50:50] I mean, that's the great thing

[50:51] about Halloween.

[50:51] You can be anybody.

[50:52] Yeah.

[50:52] So he goes downstairs

[50:53] and he's like

[50:55] running his hands

[50:55] like he's Maximus

[50:58] going home to his family

[50:59] in heaven

[51:00] and he's running his hands

[51:01] through fields of wheat.

[51:04] But as he touches

[51:05] these ghost kids' hands

[51:06] they turn into

[51:07] smoky ash

[51:08] which is kind of lame.

[51:10] Like, I mean,

[51:10] I understand why

[51:11] they did it that way

[51:12] but the more special effects

[51:13] you put into a scene

[51:14] a horror scene

[51:16] the less scary it gets.

[51:17] Oh, that's an interesting theory.

Zhubin Parang

[51:19] Yeah.

[51:19] I like that theory.

[51:20] Think about it.

[51:20] Well, it is also

[51:21] I think we might have

[51:22] skipped over this

[51:22] but like as part of the

[51:23] info dump that she gives them

[51:25] she says that only the children

[51:26] who have been inducted

[51:27] the last year

[51:28] can be saved.

[51:29] So all these kids

[51:30] from 300, 400 years

[51:33] are gone forever.

[51:35] They can't be saved.

Stuart Wellington

[51:37] They're ghosts already.

[51:38] So he eventually finds his kid

[51:40] and he finds the other two kids.

[51:41] Was it weird

Zhubin Parang

[51:42] that he walked past

[51:43] that whole group of

[51:44] teenage girls

[51:44] dressed like sexy cats?

[51:46] That felt gratuitous.

[51:49] Yeah, yeah.

[51:49] You're like,

[51:50] Ghost, why do you abduct them?

Dan McCoy

[51:53] They're not really kids.

[51:54] It doesn't really fit your curse.

[51:56] Ghost needs a little something

[51:56] for mama.

[51:58] Yep.

Zhubin Parang

[51:59] It seemed like

[52:00] very moralistic of her.

[52:01] I'd be like,

Stuart Wellington

[52:01] oh, quit dressing like sluts.

[52:03] Yeah, yeah.

[52:04] She's a Jason Voorhees type.

[52:06] So he grabs those three kids

[52:08] and he goes rushing up the stairs

[52:09] and he goes out the house

[52:11] and then the other kids

[52:12] start to follow him.

[52:13] You're like,

[52:13] what's going on here?

[52:14] They're glowing.

[52:15] And then he goes across the bridge

[52:16] and you hear mama crying

[52:18] or shouting.

[52:19] You find the ghost on the bridge.

[52:21] He gets in a fight

[52:21] with that ghost, Dan.

[52:23] Am I missing anything?

Dan McCoy

[52:24] Yeah, he gets totally blastified.

Stuart Wellington

[52:26] He gets blasted all

[52:27] and this ghost is crazy

[52:28] because when it's fighting Nicolas Cage,

[52:30] it looks like this roasted up

[52:31] little turd.

[52:32] But when it's talking to the kids,

[52:34] it looks like this beautiful

[52:35] Wiccan lady from 1697

[52:38] or whatever.

[52:38] They're seeing pre-burnt

[52:40] in a saw when he's

[52:41] Well, I think what the ghost

[52:42] is trying to do

[52:43] is to pacify the children

[52:45] and be like,

[52:46] hey, it's not that bad

[52:47] if we're going to go hang out

[52:47] in this weird basement

[52:48] because I look like

[52:49] a normal person.

Dan McCoy

[52:51] And it's also one of these

[52:52] movie scenes, though,

[52:53] where the ghost has

[52:54] about as much power

[52:55] as it needs to

[52:56] for whatever scene

[52:57] it's in

[52:58] because it can apparently

[52:59] immolate a woman

[53:00] from inside out.

[53:02] But when he's fighting

[53:03] Nicolas Cage,

[53:04] all it can do is

[53:04] sort of slam him around

[53:05] a little bit.

[53:06] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[53:07] I mean, he's really tough, though.

[53:08] Yeah.

[53:09] You've seen him run?

[53:10] Yeah.

[53:11] Yeah.

[53:12] Come on.

[53:12] I mean, he doesn't have

[53:13] been formed,

[53:13] but he runs distance,

[53:14] though, yeah.

[53:16] So, yeah,

[53:16] so he fights the ghost

[53:18] while floating above

[53:19] the bridge for a while

[53:19] and then all the other

[53:21] kid ghosts,

[53:22] spurred on by Charlie,

[53:24] surround Mama Ghost

[53:27] and drag her away,

[53:29] allowing our heroes

Zhubin Parang

[53:30] to escape.

[53:31] They realize that

[53:32] if they can't save

[53:33] themselves,

[53:33] they can at least save

[53:34] these three

[53:35] of their brothers

[53:36] and sisters.

Stuart Wellington

[53:37] So Nicolas Cage,

[53:38] off screen,

[53:39] I'm assuming,

[53:39] returns Pablo

[53:40] to his father,

[53:41] who we have previously

[53:42] seen has turned

[53:43] to heroin use

[53:44] after his son

[53:44] was abducted,

[53:46] so that I'm sure

[53:47] will be a happy ending.

[53:48] No, wait,

[53:48] that wasn't Pablo.

[53:49] That could have been Pablo,

[53:50] right,

[53:50] because that was

[53:51] two years ago.

[53:52] Oh.

[53:53] No, that dad,

[53:53] yeah,

[53:53] no, that dad

[53:54] should be on heroin

[53:55] for the right reasons.

[53:56] He shouldn't take Pablo

[53:57] to that kid.

[53:57] Yeah, there's no reason,

[53:57] yeah.

[53:59] This is not my dad.

[54:00] What about Mia?

[54:01] I think Mia,

[54:02] yeah.

[54:03] Okay, so he takes her

[54:04] back to her mother

[54:05] at the restaurant.

[54:05] I mean,

[54:06] you don't see it,

[54:06] but I assume

[54:07] he didn't just keep

[54:07] those two kids

[54:08] as his own kids.

[54:09] He's like,

[54:10] I'm the ghost now,

[54:11] dog.

[54:12] Look,

[54:13] does she go down

[54:13] in the underworld

[54:14] to get you guys?

[54:14] No,

[54:15] they're my children now.

[54:17] Marry each other.

[54:18] And then he returns home.

[54:20] They're all happy.

[54:21] Cut to an after credits

[54:23] teaser scene.

[54:26] We see a couple

[54:26] of vultures

[54:27] feasting on the dead body

[54:30] of his friend

[54:31] from the university

[54:32] who is impaled

[54:33] on a bunch of rebar

[54:34] and her eyes pop open

[54:37] and we're like,

[54:38] the end?

[54:39] Question mark?

[54:40] Mm-hmm.

[54:41] I don't know

[54:42] what that ending

[54:42] was supposed to indicate.

[54:43] What on earth happened?

Zhubin Parang

[54:44] The ghost hasn't been

[54:44] paid yet.

[54:46] Is she going to come back

[54:46] to,

[54:47] I guess she's inhabited

[54:48] the body of,

[54:49] it can't be their friend.

[54:51] Also,

[54:51] like,

[54:51] why is her body

[54:52] in a dumpster

[54:52] like many,

[54:54] many miles

Stuart Wellington

[54:55] from where she was killed?

[54:56] I think,

[54:56] I think it's in the

[54:57] construction site

[54:58] adjacent to the

[54:59] university building

[55:00] that she was thrown

[55:01] out the window of,

[55:02] Shubin.

[55:02] That,

[55:03] he could not have gone

[55:04] to this abandoned,

[55:05] homeless-filled

[55:06] area,

[55:06] No,

[55:07] but she was thrown,

[55:08] she was thrown,

[55:09] she was in the university

[55:10] and was chucked out

[55:11] the window by the ghost.

[55:13] And then she landed

[55:14] on something,

[55:15] I mean,

[55:15] maybe they're adjacent.

[55:16] I thought the vultures

Stuart Wellington

[55:16] were in that area

[55:17] right outside.

[55:18] I mean,

[55:19] The vultures are going

[55:19] all over the place.

[55:20] The movie plays it

[55:21] pretty fast and loose

[55:22] with Manhattan geography.

Zhubin Parang

[55:23] What I think happened

[55:24] was,

[55:24] she was smashed

[55:26] out of the university

[55:26] building,

[55:27] landed on the

[55:28] university campus,

[55:29] the paramedics

[55:30] were like,

[55:30] it's Halloween,

[55:31] we got so much

[55:32] stuff to do.

[55:32] Too much paperwork.

[55:33] Let's just chuck her

[55:33] in a dumpster,

[55:34] we'll come back later.

[55:35] Too busy.

[55:35] She forgot,

[55:36] and now she's in the dumpster

[55:37] off the east side

[55:37] of Manhattan somewhere.

Stuart Wellington

[55:38] Uh-huh.

[55:39] So it's,

[55:40] so the next movie

[55:41] is more of a tale

[55:42] of the horrors of,

[55:44] kind of like The Wire,

[55:45] like the horrors of like

[55:46] how the systems

[55:47] of our cities

[55:48] are kind of collapsing.

[55:49] She's a ghost

Zhubin Parang

[55:50] trying to go through

[55:50] bureaucracy

[55:51] to get her body discovered.

Stuart Wellington

[55:52] Exactly.

[55:53] And the people

[55:54] that slip through the cracks

[55:55] and the dead bodies

[55:56] that slip through the cracks.

Zhubin Parang

[55:56] It's an amazing amount

[55:57] of social commentary.

[55:59] Yeah.

[55:59] The people that go to

[56:00] It's the best show ever.

[56:01] It's a real indictment

[56:02] of all of our social systems.

[56:03] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[56:04] So now it's time

[56:05] for final judgments

[56:06] about this movie,

[56:07] whether it was a good bad movie,

[56:08] a bad bad movie,

[56:10] or a movie you kind of liked.

[56:13] I'll go first,

[56:15] and I'll say that

[56:17] it is not a very entertaining movie.

[56:25] It's kind of slow,

[56:26] but I barely kind of liked it.

[56:30] Like, I didn't...

[56:31] I think I kind of liked it by default

[56:34] just because I didn't dislike it

[56:36] and I didn't think it was funny.

[56:39] So that's the closest

[56:41] of the three categories

[56:42] I can get to

[56:43] is like, you know...

Stuart Wellington

[56:45] So you're going to kind of

[56:46] keep one foot on shore here.

[56:48] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[56:49] It did all right.

[56:49] It all hung together.

[56:51] Like, it made sense

[56:52] as a movie.

[56:53] Like, a little too much sense

[56:55] in a way.

[56:55] Like, they were

[56:56] a little too into

[56:57] explaining everything

[56:58] that happened

[56:59] in the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[57:03] I'm going to say

[57:04] with a heavy heart,

Dan McCoy

[57:06] I'm going to call this one

[57:07] a bad, bad movie.

Stuart Wellington

[57:08] All right.

[57:08] I don't think this is

[57:09] the worst Nicolas Cage movie

[57:10] I've ever seen.

[57:12] And I don't think the movie

[57:13] is actually...

[57:14] As a horror movie,

[57:15] it's that bad.

[57:17] But you don't really get that...

[57:18] Like, Nicolas Cage

[57:19] doesn't put in that much

[57:20] of a fun performance.

[57:21] There's not a really...

[57:22] A lot of memorable stuff here.

[57:26] It's just...

[57:26] I don't think there's...

[57:27] Everything's kind of cliched.

[57:29] There's just not enough there

[57:31] to really recommend it

[57:33] to spending your time on.

Zhubin Parang

[57:36] You know, actually,

[57:37] I think I might

[57:38] lean in Dan's direction.

[57:40] I agree, actually.

[57:41] Now, think about it.

[57:41] There wasn't a lot of things

[57:42] to remember

[57:44] and hold on to.

[57:46] But it did zip by

[57:47] at a pretty good pace.

[57:48] Sometimes, like,

[57:49] two...

[57:50] Sometimes, like...

[57:51] This is the one thing

[57:52] about the thing.

[57:52] Like, the psychic died

[57:54] in their house.

[57:56] And, like, five hours later,

[57:57] they were spending the night

[57:57] in that house

[57:58] when the next ghost event occurred.

[58:00] So there was a lot of, like,

[58:01] just kind of getting through

[58:03] a movie that I kind of liked.

[58:05] Yeah.

[58:05] And the story itself

[58:05] was kind of interesting.

Stuart Wellington

[58:07] So a psychic gets exploded

[58:09] by a ghost in their house.

[58:10] Five hours later,

[58:11] they're like,

[58:11] I'm going to try

[58:12] and catch some Zs.

[58:13] And he was like,

[58:14] so I can't sleep.

[58:15] Can you...

[58:16] Can we maybe...

[58:16] And she's like,

[58:16] yeah, I think I'm going

[58:17] to give it a go.

[58:18] And so she's trying to sleep

[58:19] and then her iPad

[58:20] and then her iPad

[58:20] switches on mysteriously.

[58:21] She's like,

[58:22] I'm going to fucking

[58:22] look at this thing

[58:23] because, who knows,

[58:24] maybe I got a push notification.

[58:26] Maybe there's a rare-ass

[58:27] Pokemon in my neighborhood.

[58:29] She picks up the thing.

[58:30] She sees a ghost image.

[58:31] Oh, no, now she's a ghost.

[58:33] Like, fuck off, dude.

[58:34] Don't you know

[58:35] that's going to be a ghost?

[58:36] But it's pretty quick, though.

Zhubin Parang

[58:37] You know, like,

[58:37] you don't spend a lot of time,

[58:38] like, nervously waiting.

[58:39] You zip through it.

[58:40] And I think...

[58:41] And this is my big problem

[58:42] with a lot of, like,

[58:43] thriller ghost movies

[58:45] is that the ghost,

[58:46] it seems to me,

[58:46] is always killing

[58:47] and hurting people

[58:48] when the ghost wants help.

[58:49] And I feel like

[58:50] this is one of those times

[58:51] where, like, oh,

[58:51] the ghost genuinely wanted

[58:53] to try and prevent

[58:54] what was about to happen.

[58:55] The kids were trying

[58:56] to reach out to scream

[58:57] and the ghost was preventing it.

[58:59] And the kids,

[59:00] at the end of it,

[59:01] all, like,

[59:02] in that massive,

[59:03] enormous,

[59:04] infinitely sized room

[59:05] with all those kids,

[59:06] that was pretty cool.

[59:07] I would say this movie

[59:07] just kind of tips on

[59:08] the good-bad side for me.

Dan McCoy

[59:10] I did kind of want to see

[59:13] a credit sequence scene,

[59:16] though,

[59:16] where the detective

[59:18] comes back

[59:18] and is like,

[59:19] so your son

[59:20] just came back,

[59:22] I guess?

[59:23] Yep.

[59:23] And he's like...

[59:24] Can you explain that?

[59:25] Your friend is dead.

[59:27] Your friend is dead.

[59:29] And you have these

[59:29] two other children

[59:30] who've been missing?

[59:31] Yeah.

[59:32] I'm not going to say

[59:33] this is suspicious.

[59:35] He's like,

[59:35] it's going to be

Stuart Wellington

[59:36] a long story.

[59:38] Nicholas Cage,

[59:39] you're under arrest.

[59:40] My name is Mike.

[59:42] You're stealing my heart.

[59:45] Case closed.

[59:47] Throw the book at him.

[59:53] The three of you

[59:53] enter a cave

[59:54] of a big red dragon

[59:55] and is standing over

[59:56] a horde of precious

[59:58] golden rubies.

[59:59] And he says,

[1:00:00] what do you do,

[1:00:00] adventurers?

[1:00:01] I'm a dragon man.

[1:00:02] I cast fire on him.

S4

[1:00:03] It's very good.

[1:00:04] I address the red dragon

[1:00:05] and say,

[1:00:06] us,

[1:00:06] we're the hosts

[1:00:07] of The Adventure Zone,

[1:00:08] a podcast about

[1:00:09] family playing

[1:00:10] dungeons and dragons.

[1:00:11] Very good synergy.

[1:00:13] Commit to the bit.

[1:00:14] I rolled to charm

[1:00:16] new listeners.

[1:00:17] It is very effective

[1:00:18] against all odds.

[1:00:20] Everybody,

[1:00:20] we're the Macroids.

[1:00:21] We host the Adventure

[1:00:21] Zone,

[1:00:22] a podcast where we

[1:00:23] play Dungeons and Dragons

Dan McCoy

[1:00:23] together.

[1:00:24] It's a comedy podcast.

[1:00:25] We don't take the rules

[1:00:26] too seriously because

[1:00:27] there's a lot of them

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:28] and we did not take

[1:00:28] the time to learn them.

[1:00:29] Maybe listen to us.

[1:00:30] We come out every other

[1:00:30] Thursday on the

[1:00:31] Maximum Fun Network.

[1:00:32] You can find us on

[1:00:33] iTunes or on

[1:00:34] MaximumFun.org.

[1:00:35] I think this promo

[1:00:36] is a critical hit.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:44] Now we move on.

[1:00:46] Pay the ghost.

[1:00:47] Hey,

[1:00:47] how about paying ourselves?

[1:00:49] Nice.

[1:00:50] Yeah,

[1:00:50] clever.

[1:00:51] With a...

[1:00:52] A little bit of

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:52] Flavos housekeeping.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:54] Yeah,

[1:00:54] we got some

[1:00:55] sponsors.

[1:00:58] What?

[1:00:59] Our first sponsor

[1:01:01] tonight is Blue Apron.

[1:01:04] For less than $10

[1:01:05] per meal,

[1:01:05] Blue Apron delivers

[1:01:06] seasonal recipes

[1:01:07] along with pre-portioned

[1:01:09] ingredients to make

[1:01:11] delicious home-cooked

[1:01:12] meals.

[1:01:13] So basically,

[1:01:14] you get ingredients

[1:01:16] sent to you with a

[1:01:18] little recipe to

[1:01:19] cook it right up.

Zhubin Parang

[1:01:20] Yeah,

[1:01:21] have you seen this

[1:01:22] stuff yet,

[1:01:23] Juvan?

[1:01:23] I've seen competitors,

[1:01:24] but I've heard that

[1:01:25] Blue Apron has the

[1:01:26] best.

[1:01:27] And I'm not just

[1:01:27] saying that because

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:28] I'm in your house.

[1:01:29] the last couple episodes

[1:01:30] we've been doing this.

[1:01:31] You're in our flop house.

[1:01:32] Yeah.

[1:01:33] The last couple episodes

[1:01:34] we've had Blue Apron

[1:01:35] as a sponsor,

[1:01:35] and it's been great.

[1:01:36] And every time I make

[1:01:37] a joke about how Dan

[1:01:39] is this sad guy

[1:01:39] eating meals for one

[1:01:41] by himself over his

[1:01:42] sink,

[1:01:42] or a garbage can,

[1:01:44] depending on what's

[1:01:45] available.

[1:01:46] I love these jokes.

[1:01:48] I could not be happier.

[1:01:50] But that's one of the

[1:01:51] great things about

[1:01:51] Blue Apron is how

[1:01:53] you get your

[1:01:54] prepackaged ingredients

[1:01:55] so you're not like

[1:01:56] me who you're

[1:01:58] like,

[1:01:58] I feel like some

[1:01:59] scallions on these

[1:02:00] scrambled eggs.

[1:02:01] And you buy

[1:02:01] scallions and you're

[1:02:02] like,

[1:02:03] what am I going to do

[1:02:04] with all these

[1:02:04] fucking extra

[1:02:05] scallions?

[1:02:06] Why did I buy

[1:02:07] the 40 pack?

[1:02:08] I guess I'm going to

[1:02:08] be eating scallions

[1:02:10] for every,

[1:02:10] I guess I'm going to

[1:02:11] put in my lunch,

[1:02:12] my lunch pail.

[1:02:13] My Lunchables.

[1:02:14] Yeah.

[1:02:15] I'm going to cut

[1:02:16] open my,

[1:02:16] the plastic covering

[1:02:17] of my fucking

[1:02:18] Lunchables,

[1:02:18] Dan,

[1:02:19] and stick scallions

[1:02:20] into my single

[1:02:21] serving pepperonis

[1:02:23] and little chocolate

[1:02:24] mint snack.

[1:02:24] I have to throw out

Zhubin Parang

[1:02:25] the little red stick

[1:02:25] to make more room

[1:02:26] for these scallions.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:28] Yeah.

[1:02:29] I'll eat the,

[1:02:29] the,

[1:02:30] the liquid cheese

[1:02:31] with a green onion

[1:02:33] instead of the

[1:02:34] little plastic red stick.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:35] It's just one cracker,

[1:02:36] like five scallions

[1:02:38] and the other cracker.

[1:02:39] But the great thing

[1:02:41] about this is you get

[1:02:42] a lot of different

[1:02:42] variety of types

[1:02:44] of meals you get.

[1:02:46] It's very flexible.

[1:02:47] You can customize

[1:02:47] your recipes each week

[1:02:49] based on your preferences

[1:02:49] and choose.

[1:02:51] Oh,

[1:02:51] that's pretty good.

[1:02:52] You don't just get

Zhubin Parang

[1:02:52] like what they think

[1:02:53] you should be eating?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:54] No.

[1:02:54] Yeah,

[1:02:54] you can,

[1:02:55] I mean like there's

[1:02:56] vegetarian options.

[1:02:57] There's options for

[1:02:58] if you have certain

[1:02:59] dietary problems.

[1:03:02] if you can choose

[1:03:03] delivery options

[1:03:04] to fit your needs,

[1:03:05] you know,

[1:03:06] if there's a week

[1:03:06] that you can't have it,

[1:03:07] like we're going

[1:03:09] to the conventions

[1:03:10] to cover that

[1:03:12] for the daily show

[1:03:13] and I have a trial

[1:03:14] Blue Apron account

[1:03:16] and I can't,

[1:03:17] canceled for the weeks

[1:03:18] that I'd be away.

[1:03:18] That's great.

[1:03:19] You'll be clever.

[1:03:19] So there's not food

[1:03:20] rotting in my foyer.

[1:03:22] I'm just sitting outside

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:23] the scallion smelling.

[1:03:25] So instead you'll be eating,

[1:03:27] you'll be wherever

[1:03:28] the convention is

[1:03:29] and you'll be eating

[1:03:30] what like spaghetti

[1:03:31] with chili on top

[1:03:32] or whatever they eat.

[1:03:33] You'll be eating tear gas

Zhubin Parang

[1:03:34] is what you'll be eating.

[1:03:34] Oh boy.

[1:03:35] You'll be eating crow

[1:03:37] when you find out

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:37] that they have a lot

[1:03:38] of great stuff to say.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:40] It's going to be violent

[1:03:41] is what I'm saying.

[1:03:43] But you can check out

[1:03:44] this week's menu

[1:03:44] and get your first

[1:03:45] three meals free

[1:03:46] with free shipping

[1:03:47] by going to

[1:03:48] blueapron.com

[1:03:49] slash flophouse.

[1:03:51] You'll love how good

[1:03:52] it feels and tastes

[1:03:52] to create incredible

[1:03:53] home cooked meals

[1:03:54] with Blue Apron.

[1:03:55] So don't wait.

[1:03:57] Blue Apron,

[1:03:57] a better way to cook.

[1:04:00] Hell yeah, dude.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:02] So you're going to be

[1:04:03] hurrying back

[1:04:04] to cook meals

[1:04:04] for yourself.

[1:04:06] Yep.

Zhubin Parang

[1:04:07] Oh, I assume they come

[1:04:07] in servings of two

[1:04:08] or three, right?

[1:04:09] Yeah, yeah.

[1:04:10] So are you inviting

[1:04:11] yourself over?

[1:04:12] Yeah, I'm here.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:13] Let's make something.

[1:04:14] They come in either

[1:04:14] servings of two

[1:04:15] or a family sized serving.

[1:04:16] And the servings of two

[1:04:17] is good for me though too

[1:04:19] because I can

[1:04:19] I can have one left over.

[1:04:21] You can splurge a little.

[1:04:22] Yeah.

[1:04:22] You can treat yourself.

[1:04:23] You can make a little

[1:04:24] flavor.

[1:04:25] I can stuff myself.

[1:04:27] I can just engorge.

[1:04:28] That'll make you feel

[1:04:28] better, right?

[1:04:29] Yeah.

[1:04:30] I can eat my feelings.

Zhubin Parang

[1:04:32] You can invite over

[1:04:32] your friend Jubin.

[1:04:33] Yeah.

[1:04:34] Who's looking for

[1:04:34] a best friend now

[1:04:35] that he's found out

[1:04:36] this was all the rules

[1:04:37] he gave me.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:39] I said Elliot was my

[1:04:40] former best friend

[1:04:42] and now he's gone.

[1:04:43] Now he's dead.

[1:04:44] Oh my god,

[1:04:44] I know you so well,

Zhubin Parang

[1:04:45] Jubin.

[1:04:46] We always do this.

[1:04:47] You left the dots

[1:04:48] there for me to connect.

[1:04:49] You knew that I was

[1:04:50] going to connect them.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:51] Okay, guys.

[1:04:52] And in addition to

[1:04:53] that sweet sponsor,

[1:04:54] we have an even,

[1:04:55] well, maybe just as sweet

[1:04:56] Jumbotron message.

[1:05:00] And the message,

[1:05:01] this is a Jumbotron message,

[1:05:03] so if you want to get a

[1:05:04] message on the Flophouse,

[1:05:05] either as a business

[1:05:07] or as a personal message,

[1:05:08] you can go over to

[1:05:09] MaximumFun.org

[1:05:10] and fill it out

[1:05:11] and then you get to

[1:05:11] put it up on our thing.

[1:05:13] Oh, this is pretty cool.

[1:05:14] We get to read it out

[1:05:15] loud in our sweet voices.

[1:05:17] Usually it's me,

[1:05:17] sometimes it's Elliot.

[1:05:19] And this message

[1:05:20] goes as follows.

[1:05:22] Are bad movies

[1:05:22] getting you down?

[1:05:24] How about a good film

[1:05:26] written and directed

[1:05:26] by a fan of the Flophouse?

[1:05:28] What?

[1:05:29] Are fans of us, I guess.

[1:05:31] It's called Prep School,

[1:05:33] a dark and twisted tale

[1:05:35] of adolescence and revenge

[1:05:37] set at an elite

[1:05:38] California boarding school.

[1:05:41] Prep School stars

[1:05:41] Carly Schroeder,

[1:05:43] Ben Bellamy,

[1:05:44] and the star of

[1:05:45] Peach's Favorite,

[1:05:46] that's us,

[1:05:47] just one of the guys,

[1:05:49] Clayton Roehner.

[1:05:51] Prep School is now

[1:05:52] available on iTunes,

[1:05:54] DirecTV,

[1:05:55] and other fine

[1:05:55] VOD platforms.

[1:05:57] It's a small movie,

[1:05:59] but hopefully,

[1:06:00] not one deemed

[1:06:01] worthy of small timber.

[1:06:03] No.

[1:06:04] It's a thing.

[1:06:05] Small timber's a thing.

[1:06:07] Now, I probably

[1:06:07] mispronounced all those words.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:09] And as far as I'm concerned,

[1:06:10] the star of just one

[1:06:11] of the guys

[1:06:11] is Joyce Heiser.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:13] I mean, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:15] I was about to say,

[1:06:15] there can be a,

[1:06:17] there can be two stars,

[1:06:18] right?

[1:06:18] No.

[1:06:19] There can be,

[1:06:20] if I recall,

[1:06:21] there's only one star

[1:06:22] that at the end of the movie

[1:06:23] ripped open her shirt

[1:06:24] and ushered us into

[1:06:27] adolescence.

[1:06:28] film.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:28] Yeah, that was played

[1:06:31] on HBO all the time.

[1:06:32] That's the moment

[1:06:32] where puberty

[1:06:33] happened across

[1:06:34] the country.

Zhubin Parang

[1:06:36] I am pretty impressed

[1:06:37] that you guys are

[1:06:38] influencing the next

[1:06:39] generation of filmmakers.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:41] Yeah.

[1:06:41] Sounds,

[1:06:42] sounds like a mistake.

Zhubin Parang

[1:06:44] Yeah, I don't,

[1:06:45] it's going to be a lot

[1:06:45] of in-jokes

[1:06:46] and, uh,

[1:06:47] castle freak references

[1:06:48] that aren't going to make

[1:06:48] any sense to people

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:50] outside.

[1:06:50] Yeah.

[1:06:51] Uh, so, uh,

[1:06:52] you guys should search

[1:06:53] for Prep School

[1:06:54] on iTunes

[1:06:55] or visit

[1:06:56] prepschoolmovie.com

[1:06:59] that's all one word,

[1:06:59] prepschoolmovie

[1:07:00] and then .com

[1:07:01] to check out the movie

[1:07:03] Prep School today.

[1:07:04] That's really impressive,

[1:07:06] making a movie.

[1:07:07] Yeah.

[1:07:07] You guys should check that out.

[1:07:08] We should check out

[1:07:09] the movie Prep School

[1:07:10] or check out making movies.

Zhubin Parang

[1:07:11] We should have just,

[1:07:12] we should have,

[1:07:12] we should have made a movie.

[1:07:14] Yeah, I mean,

[1:07:14] we're here for fucking ever.

[1:07:15] I feel like I've wasted

[1:07:16] my, my time.

[1:07:17] I mean, I think we learned

[1:07:18] some stuff, right?

[1:07:19] Ghosts are terrifying.

[1:07:20] Yeah, I learned,

[1:07:21] I learned about

[1:07:22] what a Bayside teacher

[1:07:23] in Queens knows

[1:07:24] about, about bizarre myths

[1:07:26] while this guy was out there

[1:07:27] making a whole movie.

[1:07:28] Mm-hmm.

[1:07:29] The same night, I presume.

[1:07:31] Ugh.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:31] That's what happens

[1:07:32] when you're a creator

[1:07:33] as opposed to some kind of jerk.

[1:07:34] Some kind of just consumes.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:36] Mm-hmm.

[1:07:37] Uh, I do want to say

[1:07:38] before we move on

[1:07:39] that, uh,

[1:07:40] our DC show

[1:07:42] on August 5th.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:44] DC Comics,

[1:07:45] Detective Comics.

[1:07:46] It's August 5th, Friday.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:47] Yeah.

[1:07:48] Our Washington DC show

[1:07:50] at Black Cat

[1:07:51] is almost sold out.

[1:07:52] I believe there are

[1:07:53] approximately 20 tickets left.

[1:07:56] Uh, I don't know.

[1:07:57] I hate to say this,

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:58] but I hope by the time

[1:07:59] you hear this,

[1:08:00] it's already sold out

[1:08:00] and you hear this

[1:08:01] and you click on it

[1:08:02] and you see that it's sold out.

[1:08:03] And you rinse your garments.

[1:08:04] You feel like a real idiot.

[1:08:05] You smear ashes on your face.

[1:08:07] Yeah.

[1:08:07] You messed up big time, buddy.

[1:08:09] And then you can tweet us

[1:08:10] and we'll say,

[1:08:10] I'm sorry for making fun of this.

Zhubin Parang

[1:08:13] Just sitting there

[1:08:14] refreshing the link

[1:08:14] over and over again,

[1:08:15] hoping somebody

[1:08:16] returned the tickets.

[1:08:17] That's not gonna happen, buddy.

[1:08:18] You can't return tickets.

[1:08:19] They're not refundable.

[1:08:21] Then you go on StubHub and...

[1:08:22] Yeah, I'll scalp some tickets.

[1:08:24] I bought up a good chunk

[1:08:26] of the seats

[1:08:26] and I'm looking to unload them

[1:08:28] at 50 times the price.

[1:08:30] Wow.

[1:08:31] You don't want to risk

[1:08:32] these poor Flophouse people

[1:08:33] having half an audience,

[1:08:34] do you?

[1:08:35] No, I don't.

[1:08:35] You don't want to pay top dollars.

[1:08:37] Contact me,

[1:08:38] Jubin Parang,

[1:08:38] at theflophousepodcast.com.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:40] Are you listening, Mom?

[1:08:42] Jubin somehow

[1:08:43] got a Flophouse podcast

[1:08:44] email address.

Dan McCoy

[1:08:47] But if they still exist

[1:08:48] and if you want to be

[1:08:49] in an audience

[1:08:49] of 500 rabid Flophouse fans

[1:08:52] or 400 fans

[1:08:55] and 100 people

[1:08:55] who just wandered in

[1:08:56] because they'll go

[1:08:57] to any fucking thing,

[1:08:58] then get on that.

[1:09:00] Your future spouse

[1:09:01] could be among them.

[1:09:01] We have not even announced

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:02] the movie

[1:09:02] and we're not gonna do it tonight.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:04] Yeah, because we still

[1:09:05] haven't figured it out.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:06] So follow the Flophouse podcast

[1:09:08] on Twitter

[1:09:08] and we'll probably announce it

[1:09:10] the day before the show.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:13] But now it's time

[1:09:15] to move on

[1:09:15] to letters from listeners

[1:09:16] like you.

[1:09:17] Perhaps you wrote these letters.

[1:09:19] I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:20] The first one says,

[1:09:20] Dear Jubin,

[1:09:21] you're my favorite.

[1:09:22] Oh, boy.

[1:09:23] We should listen to this.

[1:09:24] What?

Zhubin Parang

[1:09:26] Wait, so you're

[1:09:27] my new best friend?

[1:09:28] I don't know

[1:09:29] what's happening.

[1:09:29] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:30] So this first letter

[1:09:31] is from

[1:09:33] Full Name Withheld

[1:09:34] because I accidentally

[1:09:35] deleted the email.

[1:09:36] So I don't remember.

[1:09:37] Full Name Withheld

[1:09:38] voluntarily.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:38] Well, you deleted the email

[1:09:39] so this is all just

[1:09:40] coming from memory?

[1:09:42] Yeah, that's right.

[1:09:43] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:44] I have

[1:09:45] photographic memory.

[1:09:47] This goes,

[1:09:48] Peaches,

[1:09:49] I'm spending my Saturday

[1:09:51] watching the Stewart

[1:09:52] trilogy of movies.

[1:09:53] Head of the family

[1:09:54] Invisible Maniac

[1:09:55] Castle Freak.

[1:09:56] There's so much TNA

[1:09:57] for the gents,

[1:09:59] but as a female flopper,

[1:10:00] I want some

[1:10:00] dicks and man-ass.

[1:10:02] Can Dan and Stewart

[1:10:03] please recommend

[1:10:04] some movies

[1:10:05] for your female listeners

[1:10:06] who want some DNA?

[1:10:08] I'm not asking Elliot

[1:10:09] because he only recommends

[1:10:10] from the Hayes Code

[1:10:11] film era.

[1:10:12] Wow, what a slam.

[1:10:14] So...

[1:10:15] Elliot slam.

[1:10:16] I wish he was here

[1:10:16] to blush.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:17] So movies for the ladies,

[1:10:18] my number one movie

[1:10:19] doesn't actually feature

[1:10:19] any dicks,

[1:10:21] but you should watch it

[1:10:22] anyway if you like

[1:10:23] 100 pounds of...

[1:10:26] Wait, way more than

[1:10:27] 100 pounds.

[1:10:27] Tons of pounds of man meat.

[1:10:29] You should go watch

[1:10:30] Magic Mike XXL

[1:10:31] so you can see

[1:10:32] Channing Tatum

[1:10:33] and all the other boys

[1:10:34] flex their beefcake bodies

[1:10:36] all over each other

[1:10:38] and ladies and whatnot.

[1:10:39] And it's all good,

[1:10:41] clean,

[1:10:41] kind of dirty,

[1:10:42] but kind of clean fun.

[1:10:43] There's no peen

[1:10:44] in the Magic Mike movies?

[1:10:45] There's no peen

[1:10:46] in the Magic Mike movies.

[1:10:47] If you want to see peen,

[1:10:48] I don't know,

[1:10:49] watch Shame

[1:10:50] Michael Fassbender's

[1:10:51] Weenus.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:52] That was going to be

[1:10:53] my top recommendation.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:55] Top pick to watch

[1:10:55] a man go through

[1:10:56] the struggle

[1:10:58] of coping with

Dan McCoy

[1:10:59] sexual addiction.

[1:11:00] If you want something sexy,

[1:11:01] I don't know whether it's...

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:02] Yeah, watch Hollow Man

[1:11:05] Kevin Bacon's

[1:11:06] half-invisible wiener.

Zhubin Parang

[1:11:10] I would recommend

[1:11:11] not a movie,

[1:11:12] but what I think

[1:11:13] is the first episode

[1:11:14] to our premiere

[1:11:15] of Vinyl,

[1:11:16] now canceled

[1:11:17] HBO TV show

[1:11:18] that features

[1:11:19] Bobby Cannavale

[1:11:20] exiting the shower

[1:11:21] totally Starkers.

[1:11:23] You get to see

[1:11:23] his hog?

[1:11:24] Let me tell you

[1:11:25] something,

[1:11:25] that man is packing.

[1:11:27] Not only did I see

[1:11:28] it in vinyl,

[1:11:31] but I was a big

[1:11:32] Boardwalk Empire fan

[1:11:33] and there's a scene

[1:11:34] in that movie,

[1:11:35] in that TV show,

[1:11:36] oh my god,

[1:11:37] the full name withheld

[1:11:39] is going to really

[1:11:39] enjoy this.

[1:11:40] There's a scene

[1:11:41] where he is

[1:11:42] in the middle

[1:11:42] of having sex

[1:11:43] with a prostitute,

[1:11:44] very roughly,

[1:11:45] when an assassination

[1:11:46] attempt is made

[1:11:47] on him.

[1:11:48] He very deftly

[1:11:49] maneuvers himself

[1:11:50] so the prostitute

[1:11:51] takes the bullet

[1:11:52] multiple times,

[1:11:53] then kills the assassin

[1:11:55] and then soaked

[1:11:57] in blood,

[1:11:59] heaving with rage

[1:12:00] with a leather belt

[1:12:01] wrapped around his neck

[1:12:02] as he's into

[1:12:02] getting choked.

[1:12:04] He stalks down

[1:12:05] the hall looking

[1:12:05] for other assassins,

[1:12:07] totally naked,

[1:12:09] swinging some pipe.

[1:12:10] Ding dong,

[1:12:11] a flop.

[1:12:11] Let me tell you

[1:12:11] something.

[1:12:12] It is a terrifying

[1:12:13] sight to behold

[1:12:13] when you see it

[1:12:15] and the directing

[1:12:16] and cinematography

[1:12:18] on this,

[1:12:19] and I do say

[1:12:19] it's cinematography,

[1:12:20] is beautiful.

[1:12:21] So if you are

[1:12:22] interested in...

[1:12:23] So he's like

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:23] being led around

[1:12:24] by this dowsing rod

[1:12:26] of a ding dong

[1:12:26] that's just flopping

[1:12:27] around.

[1:12:27] It's honestly

[1:12:28] a mind of its own

Zhubin Parang

[1:12:29] hunting down

[1:12:30] anybody who might

[1:12:31] cross him.

[1:12:32] And let me tell you

[1:12:33] something,

[1:12:33] pulling them withheld,

[1:12:34] if you like your

[1:12:36] sexiness with a little

[1:12:37] bit of terror,

[1:12:39] Bobby Cannavale,

[1:12:39] somewhere in the

[1:12:40] third season

[1:12:41] of Boardwalk Empire.

[1:12:42] Yeah,

Dan McCoy

[1:12:42] if you like violence,

[1:12:44] like fighting along

[1:12:45] with your nudity.

[1:12:46] Yeah,

[1:12:47] if you like a bloody

[1:12:47] snuffleupagus.

[1:12:50] There's the Eastern

[1:12:51] Promises.

[1:12:52] Viggo Mortensen

[1:12:53] is totally nude

[1:12:54] while fighting off

[1:12:55] a couple of

[1:12:56] Russian assassins.

[1:12:58] You got Bronson

[1:12:59] where Tom Hardy

[1:13:00] is nude.

[1:13:01] He's like,

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:01] just oil me up

[1:13:03] so I can fight

[1:13:03] these dudes

[1:13:04] while I'm naked.

[1:13:05] Yeah,

[1:13:05] that's usually

[1:13:06] when you see

[1:13:06] male nudity

[1:13:06] is when the man

[1:13:08] is in intense danger.

[1:13:09] Yeah.

[1:13:11] It's not tenderness.

[1:13:12] If you want to see

[1:13:13] just people chilling

[1:13:14] out while they're

[1:13:14] naked,

[1:13:15] watch,

[1:13:15] I don't know,

[1:13:15] don't look now,

[1:13:16] but stop it

[1:13:17] after the nude scenes

[1:13:18] because that movie

[1:13:19] sucks.

[1:13:20] It's also pornography.

[1:13:22] Yeah,

[1:13:22] if you can watch that.

[1:13:23] The most romantic.

[1:13:24] Yeah,

[1:13:24] if you can watch

[1:13:25] tenderness,

[1:13:26] you can see the

[1:13:26] tender pornography.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:28] But I appreciate,

[1:13:29] I appreciate,

[1:13:30] I always appreciate

[1:13:30] when a woman

[1:13:31] comes in with

[1:13:32] as much perviness

[1:13:33] as one of us.

[1:13:35] So I hope

[1:13:36] that we were able

[1:13:37] to help you

[1:13:37] with a few

[1:13:39] recommendations.

Zhubin Parang

[1:13:40] It's a good thing,

[1:13:40] yeah,

[1:13:40] it's a good thing

[1:13:41] Elliot wasn't here.

[1:13:42] He wouldn't have

[1:13:42] had that Bobby

[1:13:42] Cannavale thing.

[1:13:43] No,

[1:13:44] he would have had

[1:13:44] like 1944s.

[1:13:47] Oh,

[1:13:47] Michelangelo's

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:48] statue of David

[1:13:49] has a hog on him.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:51] I'm like,

[1:13:52] shut up,

[1:13:52] nerd.

[1:13:53] In vertigo.

[1:13:54] Give me your answers

[1:13:54] to the homework.

[1:13:55] In vertigo,

[1:13:56] Jimmy Stewart's

[1:13:57] giant waist

[1:13:58] in pants.

[1:14:00] You can sometimes

[1:14:01] see a little bulge.

Zhubin Parang

[1:14:02] The 1936

[1:14:05] romantic comedy

[1:14:06] Moonstruck in Moscow

[1:14:08] features a sly wink

[1:14:10] by then famous actor

[1:14:12] Marvin Persimani

[1:14:13] and oh boy

[1:14:15] did Governor

[1:14:16] Calvin Coolidge

[1:14:17] then known as

[1:14:18] Calvin Sweet Walker

[1:14:20] Coolidge,

[1:14:21] small note studio head

[1:14:22] of the Warner Brothers

[1:14:24] Pictures,

[1:14:25] formerly known as

[1:14:25] Coolidge Pictures,

[1:14:27] reminded me,

[1:14:29] interesting,

[1:14:29] of a 1954 flick

[1:14:30] called Sweet Golly.

[1:14:33] A musical

[1:14:34] that was

[1:14:34] Sweet.

Dan McCoy

[1:14:36] I like that

[1:14:38] your impression

[1:14:39] of Elliot

[1:14:39] is like an

[1:14:40] old time

[1:14:40] newsreel

[1:14:41] announcer.

[1:14:43] how to do

[1:14:43] impressions.

[1:14:47] So this next

[1:14:48] letter is from

[1:14:48] RP who writes,

[1:14:50] I'm sending this

[1:14:51] in anticipation

[1:14:52] of Father's Day

[1:14:52] on February 1st

[1:14:54] so Dan has time

[1:14:54] to get his shit

[1:14:55] together.

[1:14:55] Nope.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:58] Maybe it's

[1:14:58] February 1st,

[1:14:59] 2019.

[1:15:01] Here's the deal.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:02] Dan's voice

[1:15:03] is eerily

[1:15:03] reminiscent

[1:15:04] of my dad's.

[1:15:05] Same timbre,

[1:15:06] tone,

[1:15:07] cadence,

[1:15:08] even word choice.

[1:15:09] Of course,

[1:15:10] he's about a decade

[1:15:10] or so younger

[1:15:11] but it's still creepy.

[1:15:13] That got me

[1:15:13] thinking about the

[1:15:14] time I tried

[1:15:14] to show Wet Hot

[1:15:15] American Summer

[1:15:15] to my dad.

[1:15:16] I figured,

[1:15:17] hey,

[1:15:17] he's a fun guy

[1:15:18] and he's also

[1:15:19] Jewish and grew up

[1:15:20] in Maine

[1:15:20] so this will go

[1:15:21] well.

[1:15:22] It did not.

[1:15:23] He watched

[1:15:23] in stony silence

[1:15:24] and when it was

[1:15:25] over he turned

[1:15:25] to me with the

[1:15:26] sorrowful eyes

[1:15:27] of a man

[1:15:27] who has just

[1:15:27] mentally buried

[1:15:28] his eldest son.

[1:15:31] So here's my

[1:15:31] question.

[1:15:33] What movies

[1:15:33] that you love

[1:15:34] have you tried

[1:15:34] to show to your

[1:15:35] parents that went

[1:15:36] much worse

[1:15:36] than you anticipated?

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:40] Wait,

[1:15:40] a movie that I

[1:15:41] showed my parents

[1:15:42] and went much

[1:15:42] worse than

[1:15:43] was anticipated?

[1:15:44] Oh man,

[1:15:46] I remember

[1:15:47] showing my

[1:15:49] parents,

[1:15:50] recommending

[1:15:51] about Schmidt

[1:15:52] to my parents

[1:15:53] not realizing

[1:15:54] that they would

[1:15:55] see that movie

[1:15:57] and realize

[1:15:58] that they

[1:15:59] themselves are

[1:16:00] getting old

[1:16:00] and that their

[1:16:01] lives are,

[1:16:03] they live in the

[1:16:03] Midwest and they're

[1:16:04] getting older

[1:16:05] and they're like,

[1:16:06] we don't like

[1:16:06] this movie.

[1:16:09] I'm like,

[1:16:10] but it's great.

[1:16:10] Yeah,

[1:16:11] they took this

[1:16:11] like you commenting

[1:16:12] on like,

[1:16:12] I don't know,

[1:16:13] I guess.

[1:16:14] I think they

[1:16:15] saw when

[1:16:17] Jack Nicholson

[1:16:18] treats himself

[1:16:19] to a medium

[1:16:19] blizzard

[1:16:20] as a treat

[1:16:22] for sending

[1:16:24] money to

[1:16:24] that African

[1:16:25] kid,

[1:16:25] to Indugu,

[1:16:26] the African

[1:16:27] kid,

[1:16:28] that they saw

[1:16:29] like that kind

[1:16:30] of a little

[1:16:31] victory as being

[1:16:31] very depressing

[1:16:32] and yet eerily

[1:16:33] reminiscent of the

[1:16:34] little victories

[1:16:34] they give themselves.

[1:16:36] But since then

[1:16:36] they've been

[1:16:36] climbing mountains,

Zhubin Parang

[1:16:38] they've been

[1:16:38] living life to the

[1:16:39] fullest.

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:40] Hopefully not

[1:16:41] listening to this

[1:16:41] podcast.

[1:16:44] Just telling you

[1:16:44] like,

[1:16:45] you were right,

[1:16:45] son.

[1:16:45] We did think that.

[1:16:47] A voucher

[1:16:47] was totally

[1:16:48] great.

[1:16:48] You're the best

[1:16:49] son ever.

Dan McCoy

[1:16:51] that I have

[1:16:52] something exactly

[1:16:53] like this,

[1:16:54] showing a movie

[1:16:55] to my parents

[1:16:57] and going worse

[1:16:57] than I anticipated.

[1:16:59] that when I was

[1:16:59] young,

[1:17:01] because I was

[1:17:02] the movie buff,

[1:17:03] I was the one

[1:17:04] in charge of

[1:17:04] taking my bike

[1:17:05] down to the

[1:17:06] video store

[1:17:08] and picking out

[1:17:08] a movie.

[1:17:10] coming home

[1:17:10] once with

[1:17:10] Wayne's World

[1:17:11] and my parents

[1:17:12] just being

[1:17:12] convinced that

[1:17:14] they would have

[1:17:14] no interest

[1:17:15] in seeing

[1:17:15] Wayne's World.

[1:17:16] And you know

[1:17:16] what?

[1:17:17] They kind of

[1:17:17] liked Wayne's

[1:17:18] World.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:18] They liked it?

[1:17:19] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:20] But you liked

[1:17:21] the movie

[1:17:21] Wayne's World?

[1:17:23] Wait,

[1:17:24] what?

[1:17:25] Come on.

[1:17:26] Let's keep

[1:17:26] going.

[1:17:27] All right.

[1:17:28] Oh, so you're

[1:17:28] not a Wayne's

[1:17:29] World fan?

[1:17:29] No, I'm just

[1:17:30] messing with you.

Zhubin Parang

[1:17:30] Oh, I was

[1:17:31] thinking that you

[1:17:32] were, I think

[1:17:33] now there's

[1:17:33] this burgeoning

[1:17:34] theory about

[1:17:35] how Wayne's

[1:17:36] World was not

[1:17:36] a good movie

[1:17:37] and everyone

[1:17:37] just has

[1:17:38] nostalgia for it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:39] Oh, man.

[1:17:40] I haven't seen

[1:17:41] it in a long

[1:17:41] time.

[1:17:42] it being

[1:17:43] very important

[1:17:44] to my life.

[1:17:45] That's what I'm

Zhubin Parang

[1:17:46] saying, though,

[1:17:46] right?

[1:17:46] Everything about

[1:17:47] my personality.

[1:17:48] A lot of those

[1:17:48] movies, you've

[1:17:49] got to go back

[1:17:49] and be like,

[1:17:50] was it really,

[1:17:51] you know,

[1:17:51] was the

[1:17:52] Transformers

[1:17:53] movie really

[1:17:54] the seminal

[1:17:55] artwork of

[1:17:56] the 1980s?

[1:17:56] Or am I

[1:17:57] just kind of

[1:17:58] exaggerating

[1:17:59] it?

[1:17:59] I mean, it was.

[1:17:59] I mean, it was

[1:18:00] Orson Welles'

[1:18:01] last great

[1:18:01] performance.

[1:18:02] Sure, sure.

[1:18:03] But was that

[1:18:03] all it had

[1:18:04] going for it?

[1:18:05] I mean,

[1:18:06] Optimus Prime

[1:18:06] dies, but

[1:18:07] you got the

[1:18:08] touches in

[1:18:09] there.

[1:18:10] So I guess,

[1:18:11] yes, I guess

[1:18:11] it was the

[1:18:11] seminal artwork

[1:18:12] of the 1980s.

[1:18:13] Never mind.

Dan McCoy

[1:18:14] This one goes,

[1:18:15] Dear Flophouse,

[1:18:17] long-time writer,

[1:18:18] first-time listener,

[1:18:18] quick question,

[1:18:19] has the show

[1:18:20] always been about

[1:18:21] movies?

[1:18:21] I'll take my

[1:18:21] answer off the

[1:18:22] air.

[1:18:23] Mega Dittles,

[1:18:24] Ken Feist.

[1:18:25] I gave his last

[1:18:26] name, Ken Feist,

[1:18:28] because he made

[1:18:29] a video for the

[1:18:29] Rocket Crocodile

[1:18:30] in the World of

[1:18:31] Tomorrow song

[1:18:31] that, as he

[1:18:32] says, has

[1:18:33] puppets,

[1:18:34] stop-motion,

[1:18:35] and boobs.

[1:18:36] And it's a

[1:18:37] really great

[1:18:38] video.

[1:18:39] I put it on

[1:18:40] the website for

[1:18:41] last episode.

[1:18:42] I'll probably,

[1:18:43] if I remember,

[1:18:44] I'll put it on

[1:18:45] the website again

[1:18:46] for this episode.

[1:18:48] But you should

[1:18:49] check it out.

[1:18:50] And that's really

[1:18:50] the main reason I

[1:18:51] read this letter,

[1:18:52] was just to give

[1:18:53] him...

[1:18:54] Yeah, give him

[1:18:55] some props for

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:55] putting together a

[1:18:56] great little video.

[1:18:58] which was a

[1:19:00] music video for

[1:19:01] a song that

[1:19:02] was put together,

[1:19:04] what, two years

[1:19:05] ago?

[1:19:06] Yeah.

[1:19:06] By, was that

[1:19:07] Jason Michael

[1:19:08] McIsaacs?

[1:19:09] That's right.

[1:19:10] Our Canadian

[1:19:11] Flop House pal.

[1:19:13] Who's great and

[1:19:14] put together a

[1:19:14] great little music

[1:19:15] song out of

[1:19:17] sound clips from

[1:19:18] our past episodes.

[1:19:20] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[1:19:21] So...

[1:19:22] You guys have

[1:19:23] way too much

[1:19:23] interaction with

[1:19:24] your fan base.

[1:19:25] There needs to be

[1:19:25] some Disney-style

[1:19:27] clearing of the

[1:19:28] canon, some

[1:19:29] resetting everything,

[1:19:30] back to the basics.

[1:19:32] Three of you in a

[1:19:33] mountain shack for

[1:19:34] a few months just

[1:19:35] watching movies over

[1:19:36] and over again.

[1:19:36] No, I'd rather a

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:37] situation where if

[1:19:38] people don't like

[1:19:41] something that they

[1:19:42] write, if they write

[1:19:43] enough emails to us,

[1:19:44] we just change it

[1:19:45] entirely.

[1:19:46] So if people are

[1:19:47] like, we're tired of

[1:19:48] that house cat

[1:19:49] character you're

[1:19:49] always doing, I'll

[1:19:51] just write him out

[1:19:51] of the show.

[1:19:52] Why is he going to

[1:19:53] be here anymore?

[1:19:54] Because the show's

[1:19:55] scripted.

Zhubin Parang

[1:19:55] You're going to be

[1:19:55] 100% open to fan

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:57] interaction and

[1:19:57] changing?

[1:19:58] Wow.

[1:19:58] Exclusively, yeah.

[1:19:59] That's very radical.

[1:20:00] That'll bankrupt Dan and

[1:20:01] me.

[1:20:01] It's similar to

[1:20:03] American Idol, how

[1:20:04] they have a show

[1:20:05] where you're like, if

[1:20:06] I don't like that

[1:20:07] person's face, I

[1:20:08] don't vote for them,

[1:20:09] and they get kicked

[1:20:10] off.

[1:20:10] Oh, God, what a

[1:20:11] terrifying future this

[1:20:12] is.

[1:20:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:15] Yeah.

[1:20:15] throw myself out of the

[1:20:17] listeners.

[1:20:18] So the last letter of

[1:20:20] the evening is from

[1:20:21] Dan, last name

[1:20:22] withheld.

[1:20:22] McCoy.

[1:20:23] Who writes, dear

[1:20:25] floppers, my dog is

[1:20:26] weird.

[1:20:27] When he's on a walk

[1:20:28] and has to poop, he'll

[1:20:29] often just stick his

[1:20:30] butt right against a

[1:20:31] chain link fence and

[1:20:32] poop in someone else's

[1:20:33] yard.

[1:20:35] What should I do?

[1:20:36] I don't want to

[1:20:36] trespass, but also my

[1:20:37] dog's poop is in

[1:20:38] their yard.

[1:20:39] Thanks, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:41] Well, first off, I

[1:20:42] think that's awesome.

[1:20:43] Yeah.

[1:20:44] It's like when you're

[1:20:46] a kid.

[1:20:46] What a nightmare for

[1:20:46] the neighbors.

[1:20:47] When you're a kid and

[1:20:49] you have your friends

[1:20:50] over and you want to

[1:20:51] impress them, so you

[1:20:52] sit on a wooden table

[1:20:54] anytime you want to

[1:20:54] fart because it makes

[1:20:56] the sound really loud.

[1:20:57] I see the dog as

[1:20:58] following the same

[1:21:00] method where he's

[1:21:02] like, I'm going to

[1:21:02] show you.

[1:21:03] You think normal

[1:21:04] poop is weird?

[1:21:05] I'm going to show

[1:21:06] you one through the

[1:21:07] strainer of a

[1:21:08] chain link fence.

Zhubin Parang

[1:21:09] These four equally

[1:21:10] separated poops.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:12] Yeah.

[1:21:13] Have you ever seen

[1:21:13] a Play-Doh fun

[1:21:14] factory?

Dan McCoy

[1:21:15] That's basically what

[1:21:16] I'm doing here.

[1:21:17] Guys, I got a theory

[1:21:18] about this letter.

[1:21:19] Okay.

[1:21:21] I think Dan is

[1:21:22] putting his dog's

[1:21:23] poop in his

[1:21:23] neighbor's yard.

[1:21:24] Okay.

[1:21:25] And he sent us

[1:21:25] this letter as an

[1:21:26] alibi to cover his

[1:21:28] tracks.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:29] Okay, so he knows

[1:21:30] his neighbor's

[1:21:31] favorite podcast,

[1:21:32] The Flophouse,

Dan McCoy

[1:21:33] is these three

[1:21:33] great jokesters

[1:21:34] always yucking

[1:21:35] up about shitty

[1:21:36] movies.

[1:21:37] And so he knows

[1:21:37] that they're going

[1:21:38] to hear this

[1:21:38] letter and they're

[1:21:40] going to be

[1:21:40] like, oh,

[1:21:41] okay, he can't

[1:21:42] help it.

[1:21:42] The dog is doing

[1:21:43] that.

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:44] Yeah, and they

[1:21:44] might not even

[1:21:45] know it's their

[1:21:46] specific neighbor

[1:21:46] that wrote in,

[1:21:47] but they're like,

[1:21:48] you know what,

[1:21:48] maybe this happens.

[1:21:50] This happens

[1:21:51] enough that I

[1:21:52] can forgive it.

Zhubin Parang

[1:21:53] And even if it

[1:21:53] gets to court,

[1:21:54] the podcast is

[1:21:54] admissible evidence.

[1:21:56] Yeah.

[1:21:56] So it's admissible

[1:21:58] or inadmissible.

[1:22:00] Absolutely admissible.

[1:22:01] Oh, no.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:02] I mean, we all

[1:22:02] know that we're

[1:22:03] taping each other.

[1:22:04] It's not like it's a

[1:22:04] wire.

Zhubin Parang

[1:22:05] You can put it up

[1:22:05] on the witness stand

[1:22:06] and you can't

[1:22:06] cross-examine the

[1:22:07] podcast.

[1:22:08] It just keeps

[1:22:08] playing, you know?

[1:22:09] Yep.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:12] Okay, well, I think

[1:22:13] that's a good plan,

[1:22:14] Dan.

[1:22:15] Yeah.

[1:22:16] Read a letter

[1:22:16] about dog shitting.

[1:22:18] I have had this

[1:22:20] dream, guys.

[1:22:21] I think it's

[1:22:22] achievable.

[1:22:23] I just need you

[1:22:24] to support me a

[1:22:25] little bit because

[1:22:25] I would like to

[1:22:26] put together a

[1:22:27] coffee table book

[1:22:28] of photos of

[1:22:30] dogs' faces when

[1:22:31] they're pooping.

[1:22:34] Because they make

[1:22:35] the best face

[1:22:37] that's like this.

[1:22:38] Most often,

[1:22:39] it's a mixture of

[1:22:40] like kind of fear

[1:22:41] and also concern.

[1:22:43] Yeah, that's

[1:22:44] exactly what it is.

[1:22:45] And they look

[1:22:45] so great.

[1:22:47] I don't necessarily

[1:22:48] need to see, you

[1:22:49] know, all the

[1:22:50] business.

[1:22:51] I just like the

[1:22:52] dog's face when

[1:22:53] they're like, I

[1:22:53] hope nobody grabs

[1:22:54] me.

[1:22:55] That's a great

[1:22:56] idea.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:56] Yeah, I like that

[1:22:57] look of like shame

[1:22:58] that they have on

[1:22:58] their face when

[1:22:59] they're pooping

[1:22:59] and then like the

[1:23:00] real like smile

[1:23:01] after they've done.

Zhubin Parang

[1:23:02] Yeah, they're like,

[1:23:03] oh man, I feel so

[1:23:04] much better now.

[1:23:04] But also like the

[1:23:05] terror they have of

[1:23:06] their own poop.

[1:23:07] Like they want to

[1:23:07] get out of there

[1:23:08] like right there

[1:23:09] and then.

[1:23:09] Like if you want

[1:23:10] to pick it up,

[1:23:12] they're pushing

[1:23:13] against the leash.

[1:23:14] It's like

[1:23:14] postpartum

[1:23:15] depression.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:16] They have to do

[1:23:17] it.

[1:23:19] And they're so

[1:23:19] not that way with

[1:23:20] other dogs poop.

[1:23:21] No.

[1:23:21] They get their

[1:23:22] freaking noses

[1:23:22] all up.

[1:23:22] Yeah, they see

[1:23:23] another dog's

[1:23:24] poop.

[1:23:24] They're like, I'm

[1:23:24] going to eat

[1:23:24] this thing.

[1:23:25] Oh my God.

[1:23:26] I bet it's

[1:23:26] delicious.

Zhubin Parang

[1:23:28] As opposed to

[1:23:28] us, we're the

[1:23:29] opposite way.

[1:23:29] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:30] Dog poop, you

[1:23:30] know?

[1:23:31] Yeah, we take

[1:23:31] our poop and

[1:23:32] I'm like, I'm

[1:23:32] going to eat

[1:23:33] my own.

[1:23:33] Absolutely.

Zhubin Parang

[1:23:35] Pass it down

[1:23:36] generation to

[1:23:37] our mom's

[1:23:38] friends.

[1:23:40] It's real

[1:23:40] great.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:41] It's a callback.

[1:23:42] It's a comedy

[1:23:42] callback.

[1:23:43] Real solid.

Zhubin Parang

[1:23:43] Classic bit.

[1:23:44] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:45] That's why I'm

[1:23:46] that far up on

[1:23:47] the wrong.

[1:23:48] I don't even

[1:23:49] know what that

[1:23:49] means when we

[1:23:50] go into our

[1:23:51] next bit, which

[1:23:52] is what, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:23:53] The final bit of

[1:23:54] the evening, which

[1:23:55] is where we make

[1:23:56] recommendations of

[1:23:57] movies we've seen

[1:23:59] that you should

[1:24:00] watch instead of

[1:24:00] Pay the Ghost.

[1:24:01] Okay.

[1:24:02] Well, we won't

[1:24:03] make Jumin go

[1:24:04] first in case he

[1:24:05] forgot that this is

[1:24:06] part of the

[1:24:06] podcast.

Zhubin Parang

[1:24:07] No, but I just

[1:24:08] recently watched a

[1:24:09] movie that I'll

[1:24:09] recommend, so I

[1:24:10] know what to do.

[1:24:11] You guys go.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:12] I'll start out.

[1:24:14] I watched

[1:24:14] Finding Dory,

[1:24:16] which is not

[1:24:16] Oh, good.

[1:24:17] I was worried

[1:24:17] you were going

[1:24:17] to take mine.

[1:24:18] Just keep

[1:24:19] going.

[1:24:19] Not a movie that

[1:24:19] I think needs

[1:24:21] my recommendation

[1:24:22] because I believe

[1:24:23] it's like the

[1:24:23] highest grossing

[1:24:24] animated film ever

[1:24:26] or something like

[1:24:26] that.

[1:24:27] Already?

[1:24:27] Wow.

[1:24:28] What?

[1:24:30] It's spit

[1:24:31] take.

[1:24:31] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[1:24:34] Shocked.

[1:24:35] You've

[1:24:36] been all the

[1:24:36] money.

[1:24:36] Titan A.E.

[1:24:37] You bet all

[1:24:38] that money

[1:24:38] against Finding

[1:24:39] Dory being the

[1:24:40] top animated

[1:24:40] comedy.

[1:24:41] Oh, my God.

[1:24:42] You're going to

[1:24:42] take your thumbs,

[1:24:43] man.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:43] I think I'm

[1:24:44] right about that.

[1:24:47] I think that

[1:24:48] Finding Nemo.

[1:24:48] She needs new

[1:24:48] thumbs.

[1:24:49] I think that

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:50] they're going to

[1:24:54] take my thumbs and

[1:24:55] I was going to

[1:24:55] pay to have them

[1:24:56] transplanted onto

[1:24:57] her.

Dan McCoy

[1:24:58] I believe that

[1:24:58] Finding Nemo was

[1:25:00] the previous champion

[1:25:01] and I believe that

[1:25:01] Finding Dory has

[1:25:02] surpassed it.

[1:25:04] Anyway, one

[1:25:07] reason that this

[1:25:08] spoke to me

[1:25:08] though is I was

[1:25:11] not the biggest

[1:25:11] Finding Nemo fan.

[1:25:12] I liked it but it

[1:25:14] didn't really connect

[1:25:15] with me because it's

[1:25:16] a movie about the

[1:25:19] sort of concern that

[1:25:20] parents have for

[1:25:21] their children and

[1:25:22] while I can empathize

[1:25:23] with that, while I

[1:25:24] can understand it,

[1:25:25] I don't have that

[1:25:27] personally in my

[1:25:28] life.

[1:25:28] And you love

[1:25:28] eating fish so

[1:25:29] you're just licking

[1:25:30] your chops the

[1:25:30] whole movie.

[1:25:31] That's right.

[1:25:32] It's like why

[1:25:32] doesn't the father

[1:25:34] just eat the

[1:25:35] son.

[1:25:36] The knife and

[1:25:37] fork and a

[1:25:38] bib around you

[1:25:38] the entire movie.

[1:25:40] But Finding

[1:25:41] Dory in that it's

[1:25:43] about sort of

[1:25:44] living with this

[1:25:46] disability, it's

[1:25:47] also about learning

[1:25:48] to live on one's

[1:25:50] own.

[1:25:50] It's about Dory

[1:25:51] learning to survive

[1:25:53] for herself and

[1:25:55] with the way things

[1:25:57] are in my life

[1:25:58] right now,

[1:25:58] surviving for

[1:25:59] myself is a big

[1:26:00] concern that I

[1:26:02] have and sort of

[1:26:04] the themes of

[1:26:05] Finding Dory

[1:26:05] resonated with me

[1:26:08] like the fear of

[1:26:09] being out there

[1:26:09] and having to

[1:26:10] take care of

[1:26:10] yourself in the

[1:26:11] world and what

[1:26:13] that means and

[1:26:13] just having to

[1:26:14] charge ahead.

[1:26:15] You also have

Zhubin Parang

[1:26:16] that memento

[1:26:16] like disease,

[1:26:17] right?

[1:26:17] I do have that

[1:26:18] disease.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:19] Who are you?

[1:26:19] Is that a

[1:26:19] disease or the

Dan McCoy

[1:26:22] result of an

[1:26:22] injury?

[1:26:24] I don't know,

[1:26:24] I have this

[1:26:25] photograph of you

[1:26:26] that says don't

[1:26:26] trust this man.

[1:26:27] No, no, no,

Zhubin Parang

[1:26:28] no.

[1:26:28] That's that's

[1:26:29] Jubin P.

[1:26:30] I'm Jubin G.

[1:26:31] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:33] I don't remember

[1:26:35] anything so I

[1:26:35] assume that Jubin

[1:26:36] is a very common

[1:26:37] name in this world.

[1:26:40] I mean, I don't

[1:26:41] need to get into the

[1:26:42] plot of Finding

[1:26:42] Dory.

[1:26:42] We all have a

[1:26:43] sense of what that

[1:26:44] is by now.

[1:26:45] I just wanted to

[1:26:45] talk a little bit

[1:26:46] about how I found

[1:26:47] it very personally

[1:26:48] affecting so I

[1:26:49] enjoyed it a lot.

[1:26:51] Finding Dory.

[1:26:52] Yeah.

[1:26:53] Thumbs up from

[1:26:53] Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:54] Now, I think I

[1:26:56] mentioned this

[1:26:56] before, but you

[1:26:57] know, we got a

[1:26:58] guest on this

[1:26:59] episode, so of

[1:27:00] course, it's a

[1:27:01] great jumping on

[1:27:02] point.

[1:27:03] So I'm going to

[1:27:03] throw out a little

[1:27:04] recommendation, and

[1:27:05] this is mainly for

[1:27:06] my man Jubin over

[1:27:07] there.

[1:27:07] Can't wait.

[1:27:08] I'll watch it.

[1:27:08] Okay, so this is

[1:27:10] a movie from 1995

[1:27:11] directed by a

[1:27:13] little guy named

[1:27:14] Luca Bercovici.

[1:27:17] Okay.

[1:27:17] Okay, you might

[1:27:18] know him as the

[1:27:19] director of a movie

[1:27:19] called Ghoulies.

[1:27:21] Okay.

[1:27:22] Not Ghoulies Go

[1:27:23] to College.

[1:27:23] That was someone

[1:27:24] else.

[1:27:24] Now, this movie

[1:27:25] in the UK is

[1:27:27] known as The

[1:27:28] Matriarch, but

[1:27:29] here in the United

[1:27:29] States, it's called,

[1:27:30] that's right, The

[1:27:32] Granny.

[1:27:33] Oh, God.

[1:27:34] The horror movie

[1:27:35] The Granny?

[1:27:35] Yeah, it's a horror

[1:27:36] movie called The

[1:27:37] Granny.

Zhubin Parang

[1:27:37] Oh, wow.

[1:27:38] Are you familiar

[1:27:38] with it already?

[1:27:39] I'll be honest

[1:27:39] with you.

[1:27:40] I think I, in

[1:27:43] middle school, I

[1:27:44] rented that movie

[1:27:45] because I think I

[1:27:46] had heard there

[1:27:46] was a naked

[1:27:47] scene.

[1:27:48] Legend tells of

[1:27:49] a naked scene in

[1:27:50] the movie The

[1:27:51] Granny.

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:51] Right, but there

[1:27:53] isn't, right?

[1:27:53] It's just like,

[1:27:54] what?

[1:27:54] No, there are

[1:27:54] totally naked scenes

[1:27:56] in The Granny.

[1:27:56] So, let me fill you

[1:27:58] in in case you

[1:27:58] don't remember.

[1:27:59] Yeah, no, remind

[1:28:00] me, remind me.

[1:28:00] So, the movie begins

[1:28:01] in ye olden times

[1:28:02] where there's a

[1:28:03] person who's totally

[1:28:04] possessed by something

[1:28:05] and this totally bad-ass

[1:28:06] dude shows up with a

[1:28:07] ponytail and a sword

[1:28:08] and he cures that

[1:28:09] person.

[1:28:10] Kind of.

[1:28:10] He doesn't.

[1:28:11] By curing him, he

[1:28:11] kills him, I think.

[1:28:13] Okay, fast forward to

[1:28:14] present day.

[1:28:15] This old woman who's

[1:28:16] got a ton of cash is

[1:28:17] like, my family wants

[1:28:19] me dead so they can

[1:28:20] inherit all my

[1:28:21] fucking stacks.

[1:28:22] What am I going to

[1:28:23] do?

[1:28:23] I want to live

[1:28:24] forever.

[1:28:24] So, she talks to

[1:28:25] this cool-ass dude

[1:28:26] with a ponytail who

[1:28:27] looks very similar to

[1:28:28] the dude from the

[1:28:29] beginning of the

[1:28:30] movie, right?

[1:28:31] And that dude, who

[1:28:32] happens to be played

[1:28:33] by the director of the

[1:28:34] movie, because he's

[1:28:35] like, I kept trying to

[1:28:36] cast fucking badass

[1:28:37] cool dudes with

[1:28:38] fucking swords with

[1:28:39] ponytails.

[1:28:40] I couldn't find him.

[1:28:41] I guess I'll have to

[1:28:42] play the role myself.

[1:28:44] Okay, so, the

[1:28:46] granny is like, yo,

[1:28:48] I want this magical

[1:28:49] potion and he's like,

[1:28:49] okay, I'll serve it

[1:28:50] to you, but you

[1:28:52] can't drink this

[1:28:53] potion, I don't

[1:28:55] know, like after

[1:28:55] midnight, I don't

[1:28:56] remember it that well.

[1:28:57] However, she drinks

[1:28:58] at the wrong time, of

[1:28:59] course, she freaks

[1:29:00] out.

[1:29:00] At some point, she

[1:29:01] dies and her

[1:29:02] family's like a bunch

[1:29:03] of shitbags, except

[1:29:04] for the one kid who's

[1:29:05] like super hot and

[1:29:07] beautiful, played by

[1:29:07] Shannon Worry, who

[1:29:09] has been in a bunch of

[1:29:09] movies, but she has

[1:29:11] glasses and always has

[1:29:12] her hair in a ponytail,

[1:29:13] so you're like, she's

[1:29:14] kind of gross, and

[1:29:15] everybody in the

[1:29:15] family's like, you're

[1:29:16] gross and plain.

Zhubin Parang

[1:29:17] Is this Shannon Worry

[1:29:18] as a child, or is this

[1:29:19] a grown Shannon Worry?

[1:29:20] She is a grown-up.

[1:29:21] Oh, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:21] So, of course, the

[1:29:22] granny dies and they

[1:29:23] take her away and the

[1:29:24] family starts partying.

[1:29:26] Guess what?

[1:29:26] The granny comes

[1:29:27] back to life as a

[1:29:28] magical monster and

[1:29:29] totally starts murdering

[1:29:30] everybody.

[1:29:31] Long story short, we

[1:29:32] get to a final battle.

[1:29:34] I don't want to ruin it

[1:29:34] for you, but it's

[1:29:35] awesome.

[1:29:36] So, Jubin, if you have

[1:29:38] a chance, you should

[1:29:38] re-watch the granny.

[1:29:39] Maybe you saw like an

[1:29:40] edited version on USA or

[1:29:42] something where they cut

[1:29:43] out all the boobs.

[1:29:44] You should watch it

[1:29:45] again because there's

Zhubin Parang

[1:29:46] totally a ton of that

[1:29:47] stuff.

[1:29:47] I'll definitely catch up

[1:29:48] with it.

[1:29:48] Only for the sake of

[1:29:49] remembering if I saw

[1:29:51] those boobs or not all

[1:29:52] those years ago.

[1:29:54] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:55] It'll be like you had

[1:29:56] the memento.

[1:29:57] Oh, you remember this?

[1:29:59] Trip down memory lane.

[1:30:01] So, people are keeping

[1:30:03] track at home.

[1:30:05] You can check out the

[1:30:06] Flophouse Recommends

[1:30:07] wiki website that keeps

[1:30:10] track of all the movies

[1:30:10] we recommend.

[1:30:11] And you can find out if

[1:30:12] I have now recommended

[1:30:13] the granny more than

[1:30:14] any other movie.

[1:30:16] Oh, wait.

[1:30:16] This is just your

[1:30:17] standard go-to

[1:30:18] recommendation?

[1:30:18] It's one of them.

[1:30:19] And I will try and

[1:30:20] tell you, Jubin, I don't

[1:30:22] know how you can watch

[1:30:22] it.

[1:30:23] I don't think it's on

[1:30:23] DVD or on YouTube

[1:30:25] anymore.

[1:30:25] I'm just going to be on

[1:30:26] a lifelong quest now to

[1:30:27] find this?

[1:30:29] I'm sure.

[1:30:30] I mean, it's probably on

Zhubin Parang

[1:30:31] like Daily Motion or

[1:30:32] something.

[1:30:33] There's got to be some

[1:30:34] YouTube compilation of

[1:30:36] clips that I can just

[1:30:36] kind of collate together

[1:30:38] and some semblance of

[1:30:39] the major moments.

[1:30:39] That's the perfect way

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:40] for you to watch a movie

[1:30:41] is a bunch of clips.

[1:30:42] And you're like, oh,

[1:30:42] I get the important

[1:30:44] bits.

Zhubin Parang

[1:30:44] I understand the gist

[1:30:45] of it.

[1:30:46] And isn't that what a

[1:30:47] movie really is?

[1:30:47] Just the gist of a plot,

[1:30:49] right?

[1:30:50] I think Goddard said

[1:30:51] that.

[1:30:52] I would recommend.

[1:30:53] I think it's your turn.

[1:30:54] I actually saw two

[1:30:56] movies over this last

[1:30:57] weekend.

[1:30:58] The Lobster, which I

[1:30:59] don't know if you guys

[1:30:59] have talked about

[1:31:00] recently, which I saw

[1:31:03] and is interesting, but

[1:31:04] I don't know if I'd

[1:31:04] recommend as much as I

[1:31:05] saw the documentary I

[1:31:06] saw, which was

[1:31:07] Wiener, which was the

[1:31:08] documentary about

[1:31:09] Anthony Wiener's run

[1:31:10] for mayor of New York

[1:31:11] City after his scandal.

[1:31:12] A documentary that he

[1:31:14] allowed full access to

[1:31:16] his campaign and that

[1:31:17] then got inside all

[1:31:20] access to the

[1:31:21] dissolution of his

[1:31:22] campaign once the new

[1:31:24] allegations surfaced

[1:31:25] about him continuing

[1:31:27] his photo sexting with

[1:31:30] random women he met on

[1:31:31] the internet.

[1:31:32] internet.

[1:31:32] It is a really hard movie

[1:31:35] to watch in a very...

[1:31:38] Oh, that's when the

[1:31:40] Carlos Danger stuff came

[1:31:41] out?

[1:31:41] Yeah.

[1:31:42] Well, yeah, that is

[1:31:43] actually when it came out.

[1:31:44] That's exactly when it

[1:31:45] came out.

[1:31:46] And it's very hard to

[1:31:48] watch because you see the

[1:31:48] effect it has on him and

[1:31:49] especially his wife,

[1:31:50] Huma Abedin, who is a

[1:31:51] brilliant woman and is an

[1:31:54] innocent victim in all of

[1:31:55] this and is being put to

[1:31:56] the ringer of dealing with

[1:31:58] this while also trying to

[1:31:59] get her husband elected

[1:32:00] as mayor.

[1:32:01] It's an amazing look at

[1:32:02] like the personal side of

[1:32:03] that scandal that was just

[1:32:04] a hilarious joke to

[1:32:06] everybody two summers ago.

[1:32:09] So I would recommend that

[1:32:10] if only just to see this,

[1:32:13] just what, how the inside

[1:32:16] machinations of a campaign

[1:32:17] works when the head of it

[1:32:18] is undergoing just the

[1:32:20] most personal humiliations

[1:32:21] you have ever seen.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:22] Now you guys, you guys

[1:32:24] had to write about it

[1:32:25] quite a bit for the

[1:32:26] Daily Show when this was

[1:32:26] happening, right?

[1:32:27] It was actually the summer

Zhubin Parang

[1:32:28] that John Oliver was

[1:32:29] hosting for John.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:32] He was subbing in.

[1:32:32] You guys were both on the

[1:32:33] show.

[1:32:34] So did that, do you think

[1:32:36] that affected your viewing

Zhubin Parang

[1:32:37] of the movie much?

[1:32:39] I think so a lot, yeah.

[1:32:41] Because it's easy to look

[1:32:41] at it as a joke while

[1:32:42] you're going through it,

[1:32:43] to laugh at it.

[1:32:44] And also not to like

[1:32:45] absolve him of any of his

[1:32:46] guilt for it.

[1:32:48] It was...

[1:32:49] But you're like, babes,

[1:32:50] come on.

[1:32:51] But you know, what are you

[1:32:52] going to do?

[1:32:52] Sidney Leathers?

[1:32:53] I mean, the name just

[1:32:54] brings to mind.

[1:32:55] So what was it that you

[1:32:56] thought Sidney Leathers

[1:32:57] sounded like?

Dan McCoy

[1:32:57] I kept trying to get a

[1:32:58] joke on the Daily Show

[1:32:59] that never went through

[1:33:00] that Sidney Leathers

[1:33:01] sounded like an

[1:33:02] Australian bondage

[1:33:03] store.

[1:33:05] It does, yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[1:33:07] It's like, actually,

[1:33:09] when you see her later

[1:33:11] by the election night

[1:33:12] when she, and this

[1:33:13] became a big story,

[1:33:14] how she was trying to

[1:33:15] hunt him down at his

[1:33:16] own, you know, election

[1:33:18] night party to humiliate

[1:33:19] him in front of cameras

[1:33:20] and confront him.

[1:33:21] And how his campaign

[1:33:22] had to like sneak him

[1:33:24] into the back entrance

[1:33:25] of a McDonald's

[1:33:25] at the bottom of the

[1:33:26] floor and get up to

[1:33:28] his floor.

[1:33:29] The humiliations he had

[1:33:30] to endure are,

[1:33:31] watching it now on

[1:33:32] the other side of it,

[1:33:32] it's actually, you forget

[1:33:34] these politicians are

[1:33:35] people and that their

[1:33:36] families are people who

[1:33:37] watch this stuff, just,

[1:33:38] you know, who endure

[1:33:39] just as much as they do.

[1:33:41] It was...

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:41] And there's like a

[1:33:42] rabid attempt to

[1:33:44] reveal the most

[1:33:45] embarrassing and awkward

[1:33:47] and wacky bullshit,

[1:33:48] you know?

[1:33:48] Absolutely.

[1:33:49] Which is not to say

Zhubin Parang

[1:33:50] he's not totally guilty

[1:33:50] of doing all of it.

[1:33:52] At the same time,

[1:33:52] though, there is a level

[1:33:54] of outrage at his

[1:33:55] actions that in the

[1:33:56] spectrum of scandals,

[1:33:59] sex scandals that have,

[1:34:00] you know, that have hit

[1:34:01] politicians and celebrities

[1:34:02] in recent years,

[1:34:03] isn't the worst thing

[1:34:04] in the world.

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:05] Oh, you guys heard it

[1:34:05] here first, folks.

[1:34:06] Juvim Brang absolves

[1:34:08] Anthony Weiner.

Zhubin Parang

[1:34:09] I didn't say absolves.

[1:34:10] I did not say that.

[1:34:11] I just said totally

[1:34:12] exonerates.

[1:34:14] I'm just saying he

[1:34:15] should be our next

[1:34:16] president.

[1:34:16] Yeah, why not?

Dan McCoy

[1:34:18] Well, guys, one last

[1:34:21] thing before we go.

[1:34:22] I just want to remind

[1:34:23] everyone that we are

[1:34:24] part of the Maximum

[1:34:25] Fun Network of

[1:34:27] podcasts, which means

[1:34:28] that there are a lot

[1:34:29] of other great podcasts

[1:34:30] on Maximum Fun.

[1:34:32] If you go to

[1:34:32] MaximumFun.org,

[1:34:33] you can see them.

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:37] Check them out.

[1:34:37] There's a ton of

[1:34:38] great shows on there.

[1:34:39] Like The Greatest

[1:34:41] Generation, a fun

[1:34:42] podcast about Star

[1:34:44] Trek.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:44] Yeah.

[1:34:45] And our buddy Ben

[1:34:47] Harrison, our buddy

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:48] Ben Harrison and

Dan McCoy

[1:34:50] John Hodgman with our

[1:34:53] enemy John Hodgman.

[1:34:55] Yeah.

[1:34:56] Or we got my

[1:34:58] brother, my brother

[1:34:58] and me with our

[1:34:59] buddies, all of the

[1:35:00] McElroys or we got

[1:35:02] this with our buddy

[1:35:02] Mark Gagliardi or

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:04] Pop Rocket, a show

[1:35:05] that's about great

[1:35:07] pop culture stuff.

[1:35:08] Pop Rocket.

[1:35:09] From a perspective

[1:35:10] that isn't just a

[1:35:10] bunch of idiots like

[1:35:11] us.

[1:35:12] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:13] There's a lot of

[1:35:14] great shows, so

[1:35:15] check any of them

[1:35:16] out and I think

[1:35:17] you'll be happy.

[1:35:18] But now it's time

[1:35:20] to say goodbye.

[1:35:21] Juban, thank you so

[1:35:21] much for coming.

[1:35:22] Thanks for having me

[1:35:23] guys.

[1:35:23] Appreciate it.

[1:35:23] Thank you for

[1:35:24] petting Archie who's

[1:35:25] back in your lap

[1:35:25] again.

[1:35:26] Yeah.

[1:35:26] This is a great

[1:35:27] cat you have.

[1:35:27] Archie is adorable.

Zhubin Parang

[1:35:29] Check his bag

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:30] before he leaves,

[1:35:31] Dan.

[1:35:31] Yeah.

Zhubin Parang

[1:35:32] You'll come with me

[1:35:33] all right, Archie.

[1:35:34] We'll build new

[1:35:34] life together.

[1:35:36] Get away from this

[1:35:37] bustling city,

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:38] countryside.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:40] So, well,

[1:35:41] while Dan pets his

[1:35:42] cat, I've been

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:43] Stuart Wellington.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:45] I've been Dan

[1:35:46] McCoy.

[1:35:47] I'm Juban Parang.

[1:35:48] Good night, everyone.

[1:35:49] Hell yeah.

[1:35:50] Woo!

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:59] So, you've done

[1:36:01] this show before,

[1:36:01] so you know, we

[1:36:02] basically are just

[1:36:03] going to do a bunch

[1:36:03] of scenes.

[1:36:04] Yeah.

[1:36:05] So, just come up

[1:36:06] with a cool character

[1:36:06] for yourself.

[1:36:08] Oh, okay.

[1:36:08] Like a fighter.

[1:36:10] Just approaches

[1:36:11] like the Dungeons

[1:36:12] and Dragons.

[1:36:12] Like a swashbuckler?

[1:36:13] Yeah.

[1:36:14] Let's say, my guy

[1:36:16] does blank.

Zhubin Parang

[1:36:18] Okay.

[1:36:19] My guy's very quiet,

[1:36:20] but he winks all

[1:36:21] his opinions.

[1:36:21] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:22] That's not going to

[1:36:23] translate well to this

[1:36:24] audio medium.

[1:36:25] Well, that's different

[1:36:25] though.

[1:36:26] Don't you want that?

[1:36:27] Yeah, I guess.

[1:36:27] We podcast the same now.

[1:36:30] MaximumFun.org

[1:36:31] Comedy and culture.

[1:36:32] Artist owned.

[1:36:33] Listener supported.

S4

[1:36:37] Hello, Brent.

[1:36:38] Travis.

[1:36:39] Welcome to

[1:36:40] Trends Like These.

[1:36:41] What's Trends Like These,

[1:36:42] you ask?

[1:36:43] Well, it's a podcast

[1:36:44] where we take

[1:36:44] the news trending

[1:36:46] on the internet

[1:36:47] and we cover it

[1:36:48] in podcast form.

[1:36:49] We go beyond

[1:36:50] the headlines,

[1:36:51] beyond the memes

[1:36:52] to bring you

[1:36:53] the real story

[1:36:53] so that when your

[1:36:54] friends bring it up,

[1:36:55] you can look real smart.

[1:36:56] We take things

[1:36:57] that need to be debunked

[1:36:58] and we debunk them

[1:36:59] and then we take

[1:37:00] things that need

[1:37:00] to be re-bunked

[1:37:01] and we re-bunk them.

[1:37:03] We bring you

[1:37:03] all the details

[1:37:04] and we give you

[1:37:05] a spin on it.

[1:37:06] Our opinions,

[1:37:07] our thoughts,

[1:37:07] and we also try

[1:37:08] to dig up some

[1:37:09] positive things

[1:37:09] to talk about

[1:37:10] so it's not all

[1:37:11] bummers.

[1:37:11] Just a couple

[1:37:12] of real-life

[1:37:13] friends talking

[1:37:13] internet trends.

[1:37:15] So join us

[1:37:16] every Thursday

[1:37:16] on MaximumFun.org

[1:37:18] and wherever

[1:37:19] podcasts are found.

[1:37:20] We'll see you next time.

Ep. #209 - Pay the Ghost

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