Ep. #209 - Pay the Ghost

[0:00] On this episode of the podcast we discuss

[0:03] Hey the ghost who's in that movie Dan?

[0:06] Why one Nick? Oh lass?

[0:10] Hey, that means it's in July

[0:13] Dad that I mean done done done done done done. No, I mean

[0:18] Done done done done done done done done done. I got it. I nailed it nailed it in one

[0:30] Oh

[0:50] Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. Hey guys

[0:53] I'm Stuart Wellington and joining us is my best friend. You've been parang. That's right

[1:00] Elliot's not here. Why is Elliot not here? That's a funny story. Yeah, what's the word?

[1:04] Oh, so yeah, I thought it was because I'm Stewart's yeah

[1:08] Yeah, told that before I showed up. Yeah. Can you remember how we met jubin you mind telling us that story?

[1:14] Yeah, I was I was walking down the subway and okay

[1:17] I got and I got a call from a platform or the an empty time

[1:20] No, I was walking through the cars like kind of between

[1:23] Open the doors between the cars randomly. I don't

[1:29] Know I just wanted to see if there are better seats available

[1:31] So I just started walking through and then I got a call from you saying that hey, you're my new best friend

[1:36] Come to the podcast

[1:44] From your buddy mark gagliardi, yeah

[1:47] We actually yeah, there's a real inside joke, but actually that's actually I bet your family's overlap

[1:52] I'm a thrilling adventure our fans are also flop house. He also does a show on the we got this. That's right

[1:58] Yeah, I know him. I mean, I know him. I know him from high school, but I

[2:02] Podcast wise I always thought thrilling adventure hour was like his big podcast. Yeah, even though it's not a podcast

[2:08] It is though, right? Yeah, I think was a show that became a podcast and now it's over anyway

[2:12] Oh

[2:13] Way to rub it in. Yeah, I bring it down, right?

[2:16] He knew when to bring things to a satisfying conclusion. I guess that's not totally a lesson you guys have absorbed

[2:25] We're gonna run this in the ground you

[2:29] So

[2:30] Juben you're here because Elliot couldn't be here because because he's in Sonoma right now. He's in, California

[2:36] But he didn't realize that we're recording this week. Okay?

[2:41] Do you not give you guys a heads up?

[2:42] No, we we were texting about what the next movie would be and I just had I was like

[2:48] I can't wait to see you this Thursday. We're you're my current best friend

[2:52] Yeah, it was right across from you

[2:55] stance that I happened to text this week and

[2:59] We learned ahead of time that Elliot had messed up. So

[3:04] Massively, yeah and decided to be in California when we had a recording scheduled

[3:09] So whatever you say about my stupid tongue Elliot

[3:12] I've never been in a different state when we were supposed to record you didn't mess up once while telling that hilarious story

[3:19] Yeah, it was hilarious. Yeah, we spent the time on it

[3:22] I don't know if you guys should be hashing out your

[3:25] Problems over the podcast. Does anybody need a needle and thread because your sides have probably seen

[3:30] I feel like I'd walk into a therapy session here

[3:33] Immediately uncomfortable. I I just come and watch a movie and do a bunch

[3:37] Walk into a restaurant because your socks have been knocked off by that story. Yep, and that's a health code violation

[3:43] comfortable right now

[3:45] so

[3:46] Jubin you work with Dan, right? I do I do we're writing for The Daily Show with Trevor Noah now

[3:52] I am superior. In fact, I mean that's one way to put it

[3:56] Another way to put it is that I'm a friendly

[3:59] Guy one wrong on the ladder. Yeah

[4:02] reaching down to years but not reaching down with an iron fish

[4:07] Mighty iron fish like a nautilus. I wanted it to be

[4:12] Strict and painful but also kind of fun. So it's one of those iron fishes that sings to

[4:17] To rock me down that river

[4:20] Everybody out. So I

[4:22] Up top. I just won't bring up that it is cage miss in July

[4:27] Which is the special time of the year that happens once a year when we watch a Nicolas Cage movie in the month of July

[4:33] Yeah, it seems like you guys do like a lot more

[4:36] Specific theme weeks and months now than the last time I did this

[4:41] Much like much like society itself the longer we're around the more myths

[4:48] Develop over time see the human brain longs to determine patterns in this world

[4:53] They try to find order in chaos as you wouldn't and then in trying that

[4:57] Traditions that we watch one Adam Sandler movie in December. It immediately becomes sandal vember

[5:03] What wait in December, yeah, why would it be sandal vember in December? I don't

[5:10] Works in strange ways our society split up like how small timber happens in November

[5:16] No, then you got it backwards

[5:19] Shocktober happens in November. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like you guys are being bullied around by your fan base

[5:24] You're the ones who can dictate the terms

[5:27] I don't like to ascribe the title of fan on to anybody. Ah, what really?

[5:34] Fan is derogatory. No, I just I feel like that's a that's a term that you can apply to yourself

[5:40] Because I don't want to assume that somebody is a fan and if somebody were to assume I was a fan of something

[5:46] I'm like, oh, yeah, I just like your thing a little bit, dude. Yeah, chill out, man. Yeah. Yeah tone it down

[5:52] I wouldn't say it's derogatory. I would just say it's not every listener is a fan exactly some of their hate listeners

[5:57] I guess probably I would can only assume I'm from listening to some of our

[6:04] But okay, yeah

[6:05] This is cage miss in July the other time of the year other than cage miss

[6:09] Or we watch a Nicolas Cage movie in December in December when we watch Adam Sandler movies, you know, November

[6:15] There's no such holiday. Hey, we have watched a couple of Adam Sandler movies, but they aren't

[6:22] Codified I wish so hard and like didn't come like

[6:25] Whenever September like September you guys are doing sand November

[6:29] Will but somehow it's become a tradition. Yep. I don't think that is a long shot

[6:36] We are we are running out of times on the flap house calendar when we can just throw in a regular movie

[6:41] It feels like it's all I mean it all starts around now. It starts. It's the holiday season. Yeah

[6:49] It's a bitch something that Christmas creep is the macro is would say I don't know

[6:53] Jubin just asked if he can pick a movie for us to watch Dan that that seems normal. I would just let him

[6:58] What are we gonna watch that?

[6:59] Well, I was gonna suggest that January become Japanuary. Okay, watch a movie from Japan. That is a bad movie or a critical flop

[7:07] Okay

[7:08] If you still got free space on the calendar the puns there

[7:11] Yeah, I mean, it's an ironclad. I think yes now it's done. That's a strong pitch. I guess. Yeah, I guess it's Japanuary. Although

[7:19] Yeah, no, I guess that's I mean then it's settled that's a little bit outside our wheelhouse

[7:23] Well, let's not make promises. We can't keep just yet. I think it's kind of become the tradition now, isn't it?

[7:28] We've been talking about it for three minutes three times Candyman shows that it kills us all

[7:32] It's actually interesting the movie we're watching now. I remember the last I think the movie I did was a Nicolas Cage movie

[7:37] Which one was that trespass? Oh, I wasn't I think I was subbing for you

[7:41] You got to be me instead of you getting to be Ellie. Yeah, your roles gonna shift a little I've got to reference a lot

[7:48] Of 1930s movies that don't have any relevance to the topic. We're gonna show off my knowledge

[7:52] It's their audio file at 1.5 speed and test which is great because then you'll actually listen to how I listen to sound

[7:57] So it makes perfect sense

[7:59] So let's talk about the movie that we watched I guess

[8:04] We don't have any more business up top. Yeah, I think we did

[8:10] This is a movie called pay the ghost say the ghost man, so Ellie's not here now normally Elliot our third person

[8:17] So this is probably a great jumping-on point if you've never listened the show before

[8:20] Just rewind it listen to what you've already listened to all the way over now

[8:24] You're at you're at the same spot that you were before. Okay. Thanks

[8:28] Now we're gonna listen to you're gonna listen to us talk about the movie and Dan is going to summarize it

[8:34] I need a little help on this but okay, so the movie opens way back in ye olden times in New York City

[8:42] Indeed and this family has been making paste Bacchani sauce

[8:47] Like what the townsfolk that's the one that's made in, Texas, right?

[8:50] No, that isn't one made in New York City. Wait pace is the one made in New York City of a rival salsa rival salsa

[8:55] Okay, so the rival sauce is being produced by this family of

[8:59] Wiccans which is Kelton's Kelton's Kelton's Kelton's Kelton's Kelton's

[9:04] Celtics so

[9:07] So it's kind of mysterious a woman throws some kids with weird masks down in the basement close the door and then all of a sudden

[9:13] You hear a bunch of screams and then

[9:15] Smash cut what three? No. Well, you hear one of the kids scream mama

[9:20] Which the kids shouldn't have said and another kid clasped his hand over that kid's mouth

[9:24] Okay, but that's what tips off whoever is upstairs that they're hiding in the basement probably a monster of some kind

[9:29] Oh, no, certainly who would who would assault a woman like that upstairs?

[9:34] So this all the woman upstairs upstairs

[9:36] Downstairs

[9:40] So smash cut to what 350 years for how many years I don't know modern-day whatever you're watching this that's when this is happening

[9:50] 2050 and we've got one Nicolas Cage

[9:53] Who is on the verge of becoming a bad dad soccer dad? Uh-huh, because he's never there for his kid

[10:00] He's too busy chasing that tenure dream in the library at the college he works at.

[10:05] Yeah, which seems like a much more important goal than carving a pumpkin with his kid, which I think is what this specific thing was, right?

[10:11] Always my thing.

[10:12] There's always going to be time to carve pumpkins, guys.

[10:15] There's a little song called Cats in the Cradle that I think would say otherwise.

[10:19] I don't know.

[10:20] They eventually got that cat in that cradle, though, and I think that's what worked out.

[10:23] At one point, Nicolas Cage even looks his son in the eyes and he's like, I make a promise.

[10:27] And a promise between a dad and a son is the most important one ever.

[10:32] And I'm like, I don't know, dude.

[10:33] Every bad dad says that.

[10:35] Yeah.

[10:36] Every shitty dad's like, I got you a toy instead.

[10:39] But yeah, he's supposed to be there for Halloween to carve a pumpkin and go out trick or treating with his little kid.

[10:49] But his long-suffering wife has to go out alone with the kid, played by Sarah Lane Callies, who you might know from The Walking Dead.

[11:00] Now, she's the one that Jubin thinks looks like Natalie Portman.

[11:03] Yeah.

[11:04] And you think looks like a friend of yours who isn't Natalie Portman.

[11:07] Yeah, well, that's really helpful for the listeners at home.

[11:10] Yeah, I'm painting a picture for them.

[11:13] That looks sort of like Sarah Lane Callies.

[11:16] She looks sort of like Natalie Portman.

[11:18] So congratulations to me, I guess.

[11:21] You got friends is what I'm saying.

[11:23] I met Natalie Portman once, not to brag, but I sat behind her.

[11:26] I don't know if your tone sounds like you're bragging.

[11:29] A little bit, I guess.

[11:31] I sat behind her at the UCB Theater while she was sitting in a row ahead of me and I could smell her hair.

[11:35] How was her laugh?

[11:37] I didn't hear her laugh, I guess.

[11:39] I was too busy trying to—

[11:40] A harsh critique.

[11:41] I was too busy trying to laugh casually myself in a way that she would think was kind of cool

[11:45] and want to turn around and hear that guy who laughs in that cool way.

[11:48] So I didn't really pay attention to her.

[11:50] But I did notice her hair smelled pretty nice.

[11:52] That's nice.

[11:53] Okay.

[11:54] She caressed it.

[11:55] Yeah.

[11:56] She sniffed a lot of it.

[11:57] I had it in my mouth most of the time, just kind of casually chewing on it.

[12:01] No point.

[12:02] She seemed to recognize it.

[12:03] I mean, smell is a huge part of taste.

[12:05] That's how I would know what it smelled like.

[12:07] You can't be sure it's lavender until I've got it all in my taste buds.

[12:11] It's like squirreling a glass of wine around your mouth.

[12:14] Yeah.

[12:15] Squirreling?

[12:16] Squirreling.

[12:17] I don't think that's the right verb.

[12:19] I'm going to defend Dan.

[12:21] I'm going to be not like you guys.

[12:22] I'm going to defend Dan's verbal slip-ups.

[12:24] Okay.

[12:25] Squirreling is a perfectly understandable way to say—

[12:27] I guess.

[12:28] Why?

[12:29] Because you're filling your cheeks with—

[12:30] Yeah, you're just swishing it around like a squirrel darts back and forth around trees.

[12:33] It's a beautiful visual metaphor.

[12:34] Oh, yeah.

[12:35] I guess that makes sense.

[12:36] Yeah.

[12:37] I'm on your side, Dan.

[12:38] Thanks.

[12:39] Thanks, buddy.

[12:40] Wow, emboldened, Dan moves forward with the plot.

[12:43] We're your best friend on the ladder rung, one above you.

[12:47] Sure you are.

[12:49] Sure you are, pal.

[12:51] Anyway, so Nicolas Cage comes home, chuffed that he has in fact gotten his tenure.

[13:00] Hell yeah.

[13:02] He got his fucking tenure.

[13:04] About time.

[13:05] He says to his wife, honey, now everything is going to be better forever.

[13:10] It's going to be different.

[13:11] Nothing bad's going to happen.

[13:12] It's me, Jimmy Stewart.

[13:14] For the rest of my life, it's nothing going to be so smooth sailing for all three of us.

[13:20] As long as no one steps on my blue suede shoes, we should be all great.

[13:24] He sounds a lot like Elvis Presley in this movie.

[13:27] I don't know.

[13:28] I don't think I've seen as many Nicolas Cage movies as you guys have, but he sounded particularly

[13:32] like Elvis Presley in this movie.

[13:34] He's always kind of mumbly, but he's more so, I think, in this film.

[13:38] So I'm going to peel back the curtain a little bit, guys, to reveal the inner workings of

[13:43] the podcast.

[13:44] This, I think, was the first time we've ever had to turn on the closed captionings for

[13:49] a movie.

[13:50] Yeah.

[13:51] Because we, like the first couple scenes, we couldn't understand a word out of his mouth.

[13:55] Yeah.

[13:56] Juven had to fill me in that they were not in Arizona and that at some point that Nicolas

[14:01] Cage was trying to get tenure.

[14:03] You literally could not hear that area.

[14:05] They said the word area and it sounded like Arizona.

[14:07] Yeah.

[14:08] It was a really bad sound job.

[14:09] Oh, Archie's on my lap.

[14:11] Yeah.

[14:12] The listeners love to hear about Archie, so don't keep any Archie news.

[14:18] He's a very friendly, fun cat.

[14:20] Here's one thing, by the way, just a small thing, that we don't really see what Nicolas

[14:25] Cage's field is in when he gets tenure, but all he does when he's in class is just read

[14:29] out spooky stories to the students.

[14:31] Yeah, yeah.

[14:32] Scary stories to tell in the dark.

[14:34] Yeah.

[14:35] I've attended a lot of college courses, guys, and a lot of them feature a guy reading a

[14:40] class of students in costumes a story.

[14:43] The first one was like a poem, right?

[14:46] It was like Goethe, I think.

[14:47] I think.

[14:48] But still.

[14:49] Yeah, but it could have been like a long...

[14:51] I mean, I'm not familiar with that specific Goethe work, but it could be one of his longer

[14:55] works, like Faustus or something.

[14:58] Oh, hello.

[14:59] Archie's now moved over to my lap.

[15:01] He literally ends the class by saying, don't ever forget that Poe and Lovecraft...

[15:06] Yeah, he's like, pour one out for Poe and Lovecraft tonight.

[15:09] Yeah, because they wanted to scare the shit out of you, and the class laughs because he

[15:12] said the bad word.

[15:13] Yeah, yeah.

[15:14] I mean, he just showed that he was on their level, like he's a cool dude.

[15:17] I don't see how he would have gotten tenure, though.

[15:19] I think his tenure was granted inappropriately, is what I'm saying.

[15:21] Oh, okay.

[15:22] And I think the movie is really a punishment for him.

[15:25] Sure.

[15:26] I think his son's abduction is in some way a punishment for the ease of tenure with which

[15:30] Oh, okay.

[15:31] So, spoiler alert, his son gets abducted.

[15:33] We knew that was going to happen.

[15:35] The kid was seeing ghosts all over the fucking place.

[15:37] Yeah.

[15:38] They go for a walk at the carnival around the corner.

[15:41] Yeah.

[15:42] The dad is like, oh, I'm so sorry for not being here.

[15:45] Let me take him out to the carnival for just 30 minutes.

[15:48] Okay.

[15:49] You did a pretty good Nicolas Cage right there.

[15:50] Yeah.

[15:51] It was subtlety.

[15:52] I brought it back.

[15:53] Yeah.

[15:54] So, while they're at the carnival, the kid's looking all over the place, and up in the

[15:57] air, he's like, seeing these fucking vultures flying around, which kind of look real, but

[16:01] also totally look fake.

[16:03] Mm-hmm.

[16:04] It feels like they stepped from the streets of the Big Apple all the way down to the Big

[16:10] Easy, because it feels like we're in Nolans, baby.

[16:13] What?

[16:14] Yeah, right?

[16:15] It's like a street fair with stilt walkers.

[16:18] Yeah.

[16:19] Mardi Gras, carnival.

[16:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[16:21] I got you.

[16:22] So, Nicolas Cage goes and buys a swirl ice cream cone from a dude who is way too tall

[16:27] for the ice cream counter he's working at.

[16:29] He basically has to order from the guy's belt buckle.

[16:33] You point out the guy's crotch cleared the shelf.

[16:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[16:36] And then Nicolas Cage's son disappears, and he's like, where's my son?

[16:39] And he's like, I can't see him, even though I have this elevated perch, which should give

[16:43] me advantage on all spot checks.

[16:45] You'd think as an ice cream man, I'd be particularly able to look at children, but no.

[16:51] Oh, so you're saying that his job experience makes him better able to spot kids in a crowd.

[16:56] I mean, it's just money in the bank, right?

[16:58] Exactly.

[16:59] You see kids, you see potential sales.

[17:01] Victims.

[17:02] Victims.

[17:03] Yeah, that's what they call them in the biz.

[17:05] Ice cream biz.

[17:06] This is actually an important point, though.

[17:08] Right before the kid disappears, he looks up at his dad and says, can we pay the ghost?

[17:13] Can we pay the ghost?

[17:15] Which, at this point, we're like, hell yeah, we got the title of the movie.

[17:19] Yeah.

[17:20] Nicholas Cage doesn't really care.

[17:21] He's like, I'm already reverting to my absentee father.

[17:25] He's like, shut up, kid.

[17:26] I gotta pay this guy's crotch for this ice cream.

[17:28] Then we can pay the ghost.

[17:29] Then we can pay the ghost.

[17:30] Pet the ghost all you want, little guy.

[17:32] You little Boglin.

[17:34] I imagine, the movie sounds like, the title sounds like they're at home every month doing

[17:43] the taxes, or every month doing the taxes.

[17:46] Every month doing their bills.

[17:48] Being like, honey, do you remember to pay the ghost?

[17:50] Yeah.

[17:51] Yeah, yeah, I paid the ghost.

[17:53] It says on autopay, so the ghost gets paid no matter what.

[17:56] That's the thing.

[17:57] You lose your credit card.

[17:58] They switch the numbers out, but you forget the autopay.

[18:00] So then the autopay doesn't go through.

[18:02] And then you're like, all my fucking porno subscriptions.

[18:04] They laugh, so I can't watch all my pornos.

[18:06] But you can't forget the ghost, because you got Mr. Skin.

[18:08] You gotta think, I'll get it next month.

[18:10] And then look what happens.

[18:11] Yeah.

[18:12] Then your kid gets taken by the ghost, and your wife leaves you.

[18:15] Yeah.

[18:16] And then you can't even go to Mr. Skin, because there's no account left.

[18:19] Speaking of which, the son gets taken by the ghost, and his wife leaves him.

[18:24] Yeah.

[18:25] Nicholas Cage freaks out for a minute.

[18:27] His wife freaks out, serious style.

[18:29] Yeah.

[18:30] She's like, why couldn't you have protected him?

[18:31] I'm just going to make this peanut butter and jelly with a crust cut off, and I don't

[18:35] know, stick it in a bag and hug it.

[18:37] Yeah, she goes through every phase within five minutes.

[18:40] The sobbing, the crazy, looking out the window.

[18:44] That's the thing.

[18:45] It's expediency in storytelling, Juven, that you have an entire story in a single scene,

[18:52] like in the movie Unforgiven.

[18:54] Yeah, I guess I didn't think about this movie's efficiency.

[18:57] Yeah.

[18:58] That's what I like when I see a story, just to get through the whole point of it quickly.

[19:01] Yeah.

[19:02] Practicality.

[19:03] I don't need atmosphere.

[19:04] So then we flash forward.

[19:06] It says one year later, but they're lying, right?

[19:08] It's one year minus three days.

[19:10] 362 days, yeah.

[19:13] Because it's three days before Halloween, and Nicolas Cage is a haunted man.

[19:18] He's going around stapling wanted, not wanted folks.

[19:23] Wanted, yeah.

[19:24] Wanted.

[19:25] That bad boy part for robbing my carriage.

[19:29] Wanted my son dead or alive.

[19:33] Smaller questions.

[19:35] Preferably alive.

[19:38] No questions asked.

[19:40] What if he just gets some answers?

[19:45] No, he's putting missing posters all over.

[19:47] No questions asked seems like a really weird caveat to put on any kind of a contract,

[19:52] because most contracts require at least one or two questions, right?

[19:57] Yeah, but no questions asked is like, I'm that desperate.

[20:00] Desperate and I won't consider any criminality that you might have engaged in be like, oh, thanks for catching my son and bringing back alive

[20:07] What do you like a glass of water and the guys like I said, I agreed to no questions

[20:13] I'm taking your son back this deals up

[20:15] I remember when you like when you think someone's like when you lose a ring or money and you

[20:21] You want it back you put like sign out saying like, you know, you know reward for return

[20:25] No questions asked which kind of is like no I stole it like Craigslist or like posters all around the neighborhood

[20:30] Like no questions. That's kind of bees like if you stole it just bring it back and I'm not gonna call the cops

[20:34] Like I'll give you just be cool percentage. Yeah, this this ring belonged to my you know, my mother's friend and I

[20:42] Have it for a weird reason. Yeah

[20:44] Some reason I don't want

[20:46] Using an anecdote we can all identify

[20:49] heirloom

[20:52] That's gonna hand it down through mother's friend through mother's friend for you

[20:56] I start asking questions other people start asking questions. It's just the whole thing. Yeah, how did you come in contact?

[21:02] No questions on either side, man

[21:06] Where we leave off oh, so, you know Nicolas Cage is still he's got one of those like

[21:11] Evidence boards where it's got a bunch of pictures on a map

[21:14] Although as we pointed out while watching it, there's not a single piece of red string to be found

[21:18] He has not made any connection. How would you visually connect any two pieces of evidence without that?

[21:22] I don't understand and he keeps going to feel like a dream

[21:27] Yeah

[21:29] Vision board vision board. He keeps going to the police and calling them lazy for not

[21:34] Finding a son even though it seems like this one police officer

[21:37] The one case he has is finding this guy's son

[21:39] Like he seems like the most dedicated New York City police officer that and he clarifies that they're not lazy

[21:44] And I can't disagree with him because that office is immaculate. It is the nicest New York City Police Department office

[21:50] I I've only been to a couple but that looks like a the cubicles are well organized

[21:55] They're everything looks clean. There's like beautiful staircases that go up. There's carpet, which I've never seen a police station ever before

[22:02] I'm sounding like I'm a real expert in police station. I've been to a couple

[22:06] Yeah, and those are all

[22:09] They're all normal reasons

[22:11] You weren't being hauled in because of that wanted

[22:14] It said no questions asked and I was very clear about it

[22:18] Mr. Brain, can you explain why you had in your possession your mother's friends ring? I

[22:24] Believe when I came here doctor, I mean officer Wow

[22:28] I

[22:36] Mean that is a fucking TV show. That's a pilot

[22:41] My god, like he like heals the gunshot wound while he's processing the case exactly or it could be a she's you been

[22:48] Yeah, oh, I don't think people believe that

[22:53] She also works at a magazine in New York City

[22:57] Can't find a boyfriend. She's a triple threat

[23:01] okay, so

[23:03] What's he hasn't found his kid? It's a year later. His wife is like I'm not into you that much anymore

[23:08] Yeah, she's like give it up and then pretty quickly they kind of get back together, right?

[23:12] Yeah, a couple of run-ins with possible ghosts. Yeah, we'll get there the Nicolas Cage sees him

[23:19] Sees his son on a bus

[23:21] Chases it down and it's one of many scenes where Nicolas Cage runs and you're like, oh don't make him run like that

[23:27] He's getting old. Yeah. Yeah, his gate was a little wobbly

[23:31] Yeah, I still ran like what looked like seven Avenue blocks. Yeah chasing that bus. Yeah, I mean the chasing took forever. Yeah

[23:39] Very dolly. Yeah, it was like 25 minutes to run seven after the bus didn't make a single stop, which is yeah, exactly

[23:45] There's people waiting there waving their tickets or whatever people do for the long line of people running with him

[23:52] Wanted to get on it. The Sun isn't actually on the bus, of course, but when Nicolas Cage gets off the bus

[23:58] he's in this dingy part of town and he sees a dilapidated building with the

[24:03] Graffiti pay the ghost on the side of it. Mm-hmm

[24:07] So we like all those loads above his head what his son what said? Yeah, this is he had forgotten this

[24:14] All the year even though it was literally the last thing his son said to him and it seems like it could have been a clue

[24:20] So he goes into this abandoned warehouse

[24:23] Abandoned except for three vultures that are pecking away at something outside

[24:26] Which I think if I saw vultures in New York, I would assume that they escaped from a zoo or something

[24:32] Yeah, like that's a big bird. I don't know what they're indigenous to but it's got to be like the desert Southwest

[24:37] I mean, yeah based on cartoons. I assume that they're

[24:41] They're like, yeah, they're eating the legs off of the guy in the croc cartoon

[24:46] In cowskull, yeah, exactly. That's their economy Dan they trade those

[24:53] The older the cow the more valuable the skull that that only makes sense do that yourself a millionaire my friend. Yeah

[25:00] so he goes in and he finds a bunch of homeless people in there and

[25:04] Yeah, it's that like movie trope of

[25:07] The guy leaves his sheltered like suburban life. He finds a weird

[25:13] Warehouse that's just filled with like

[25:15] Skulls or mole people or like Dennis Leary's gang of people from demolition, man

[25:21] They're all living underground and I think I swear we've seen other Nick like that one Nicolas Cage revenge movie. Was it Ray age?

[25:28] Where he's I can't even remember these movies anymore Dan my brain

[25:34] Pointing out though. That is a that is a trope. There's a lot of scenes

[25:37] It happens all the time. I think there's just like whole communities living underground in New York

[25:41] Yeah, I mean it's in New York

[25:43] There was like or like the abandoned mall downtown like things like we all know that Giuliani got rid of all the chutz

[25:49] Yeah, he cleared him out himself with a flamethrower

[25:53] Speaking of flames now, there's just like wailing woman who?

[25:58] Is in this this homeless area like this have wailing woman's voice and whenever this woman wails the flames of the barrel fires

[26:08] Light up they they they burn all the heavier. That seems pretty normal, right? Yeah, and

[26:15] Okay, honestly, there's a lot of real cliche goes

[26:20] Nicholas Cage asked this blind homeless man what the deal with this is and he's like, I don't know the screams happen around Halloween

[26:26] Go figure man. They seem pretty blase about and Nicholas is like well all this stuff adds up. I'll see you guys later

[26:33] I'll come back for the third act

[26:35] Homeless people in movies like are like children and dogs like they seem to go on

[26:41] They seem to be keyed in to unable to support themselves

[26:45] Financially, they're just treated as a society that by and large doesn't care for them

[26:50] They're treated as if they're key. They have some special connection to the spirit world

[26:55] That's really true. Yeah

[26:57] Well, it's kind of like in the movie Revenge of the Nerds where the nerd after raping the girl

[27:02] Explanation that

[27:03] nerds make better lovers because they have

[27:05] Unlike jocks they who spend all their time think about sports nerds spend all their time thinking about girls

[27:10] Which is crazy because they spend all their time thinking about nerdy shit not sex

[27:15] But so what I think is what they're trying to say is that these homeless people

[27:19] they're not caught up in the rat race of like our commerce and

[27:24] Economy ritual they have more time to like

[27:26] Yeah, just connect with the earth and the spirit realm and when you were a kid you saw and talk to ghosts all the time

[27:31] You know, but somewhere along the way the money kind of just took your attention away from all that. Yeah, exactly

[27:37] Yep, talk to Casper

[27:43] My dammit

[27:45] We're like Robin Williams in that hook movie like we've kind of got wrapped up in in being businessmen when we could be Peter Pan's

[27:53] Yeah, or Robin Williams and the Fisher King where he's a crazy homeless man

[27:56] Oh, and he is connected to the spirit world, right sort of he's like a necromancer in that movie

[28:03] Does he bring to the fantasy real?

[28:06] World. Oh, that's the same thing. Yeah, did you use a kid or a dog?

[28:11] Just like a kid or a dog is connected to our theory and legend

[28:14] I mean there was a Connecticut Yankee and King Arthur's Court

[28:18] Yeah, yeah kid or a dog he was it I thought it was a kid now you're thinking of a kid in King Arthur's Court

[28:26] That's a movie

[28:28] Anyway, so

[28:33] Basically Mike is

[28:35] My Nicholas Cage's movie

[28:38] he is

[28:40] Then he's twigging to the fact that there's something supernatural going on. Yeah seeing his kid

[28:46] Seeing the things the kids said

[28:48] Police the detective in charge of the case not really into it, but he does do a little bit of research

[28:53] He goes in and he's starting to realize that on Halloween all

[28:58] there's a lot more missing children and

[29:01] Almost none of those those cases get solved

[29:04] Yeah, the the percentage of cases that get solved of missing children on other days that aren't Halloween is higher than on

[29:11] Halloween so something is going on

[29:14] I'm assuming this is a New York based statistic. Yeah, which is where the movie set. They were looking through the New York

[29:20] I also gotta say I was pretty impressed that they didn't say like all these kids were found not on Halloween

[29:25] But on Halloween none of the kids were found

[29:26] they actually said like a slightly lower percentage of the children are found on Halloween and it made it feel a little bit more believable like

[29:32] Because otherwise you think ever somebody would have realized before Nicholas Cage's character

[29:36] Yeah, just the fact that he saw a statistical difference that although not huge was enough for making him realize that it's statistically significant

[29:42] Yeah, it's like the Big Short. Yeah

[29:47] Short of haunted children

[29:50] Meanwhile Nicolas Cage has tried to make his wife

[29:53] Believe that something's going on and she is not having any of it until she sees the kids razor-screwed

[30:00] rolling around the house on his own yeah she's like all right doesn't she look at

[30:05] a haunted iPad and become a ghost for a little while and then cut up her arm

[30:08] that's later that's later at first it's just a razor scooter that turns her

[30:13] around doesn't take a lot to get these people immediately believing in

[30:16] supernatural phenomena yeah she forgives Nick what a way to date your fucking

[30:20] movie have it be a razor scooter like it's a haunted pair of fucking Healy's

[30:26] around the floor the haunted hoverboard yeah exactly

[30:30] a pair of Uggs just circling around those were his favorite shoes haunted

[30:36] Pokemon go app way to date our podcast I am for future historians yeah these are

[30:44] her story and yep thank you but anyway so they start working together the

[30:54] Nicolas Cage and his wife uh-huh and the one who looks like your friend yeah

[30:59] and Nicolas Cage and Natalie Portman of things like children burning up and

[31:08] ghost children staring at them all pale like and so they call on a psychic to

[31:14] help yeah I mean that that actually kind of seems like a natural choice at this

[31:18] point because I think they realize that there's something going on the detective

[31:21] on the other hand is doing a little research he investigates the mother of

[31:25] one of the other missing children and when the woman explains what her daughter

[31:29] said which was something very similar to pay the ghost a it causes a grease fire

[31:34] and we're like whoa the homeless basement yeah yeah there's a lot there's

[31:42] a theme this building here mm-hmm and I think that I feel like if I if I if I was

[31:46] them I would go for a psyche too that seemed like a pretty yeah rational

[31:50] either a psychic or maybe a fireman burn this burn the house down no just

[31:57] there's always interpreting what fireman to house you call the fireman to come and

[32:04] help through the fire but I mean yeah I'm cold can you warm me up fireman

[32:10] rapidly and too much exactly the no but the it seems like the ghost clearly has

[32:17] some kind of fire based powers yeah well not the least of which because he

[32:22] takes the she takes the psychic the ghost and burns the hell out of her from

[32:26] the inside out yeah yeah so that it was that was a scene that was one of the

[32:32] many scare scenes that was aided by a little bit of CGI trickery a little bit

[32:40] of fancy computer graphics to make it a little more special yeah so she flies

[32:46] around and stuff flies out of her nose and her eyes change colors and then she

[32:53] wait so they have her in the kids room to try and figure out there's something

[32:56] that she can do though the wind suddenly like comes in through the window smashes

[33:00] against the wall something she started dead tongues or something's crying out

[33:05] and then like you can see smokes are kind of pouring out of her mouth and

[33:08] like she just took a huge hit off of her vague yeah like she was the coolest

[33:13] psychic you've ever seen and so the police come and like take the dead

[33:17] psychic out of the apartment and they're like something bigger with the rest boys

[33:25] Nicolas Cage is like there's some force that stole my son and the detectives

[33:31] like um you just seem to have a lot of shitty stuff happen around you all the

[33:36] time like people getting kidnapped and psychics getting burnt up maybe you're

[33:41] to blame well he says maybe you shouldn't leave town for a while and

[33:45] part of me is like I don't know if there's all this trouble happening

[33:48] around him maybe you should leave time yeah he's Jordan is where the detective

[33:54] went through like a like Oh usually people go from skeptic to believing the

[33:59] story and these like supernatural movies but the detective went from kind of

[34:02] believing initially to seeing this psyche being wheeled out and being like

[34:07] whatever man I believe in facts logic he's like you probably killed this

[34:11] psyche yeah I heal it over yeah she kind of like the more it's confirmed for him

[34:16] he kind of just abandons the theory that they're supernatural phenomenon mm-hmm

[34:19] it's weird like I think I would have liked it the other case that these two

[34:23] people invited a psychic to their home the psyche was like there's nothing here

[34:27] you guys are crazy and so they just beat her to death it's crazy take a

[34:36] flamethrower down her throat the simplest answer is probably the most is

[34:41] probably her from the inside yeah they fed her too much spicy food they gave

[34:46] her their three alarm chili it was when the funny first I wouldn't want to try

[34:52] the five alarm chili it's no no no no you got to go blow your nose out after

[34:56] your organs liquefied I think you were like you were we were saying like when

[35:00] the detective was initially when he heard the evidence he kind of started

[35:04] investigating the supernatural possibilities which initially felt like

[35:07] oh this is like a cool thing usually detectives are like become an obstacle

[35:11] to the protagonist yeah well at least he was like okay you know like there's some

[35:16] there's some indication that something is going on on Halloween well yeah

[35:21] because Nicolas Cage actually brings up something that isn't exclusively

[35:24] supernatural based like he's not like all my evidence post all my evidence

[35:28] it's a ghost yeah exactly it's like there's something actually happening on

[35:32] a Halloween maybe you should check that out mr. detective mm-hmm

[35:37] you're so big mm-hmm yep cuz you have a badge and a gun and a handsome face mr.

[35:45] detective I mean he was a good-looking guy yeah he's got he's got I didn't see

[35:51] time I have a chance everything what you have a chance I think you do have a

[35:56] chance Dan all right I can't hurt to talk to him I mean yeah I mean yeah just

[36:04] start a conversation you can say that you liked his face no wait for one that

[36:10] yeah you like that he did his his police work you know what it's not gonna help

[36:16] hearing it from us you just got to be yourself and he's gotta go up there and

[36:20] be natural tell him what you're all about I think you and I you know if it's

[36:24] not meant to be it's not meant to be yeah this detective from from pay the

[36:27] ghost does not start dating you then I think it was just it's just you know

[36:30] this is a big crazy world yeah all right you deserve a chance at love with the

[36:36] detective from pay the ghost I'm gonna try and date that detective wow you're

[36:42] so where were we oh what happens next is the Charlie the kid possesses the wife

[36:53] of those of Nicolas Cage his mom and is like oh she's coming I'm scared so you

[37:00] know she's possessed cuz she moves like super duper fast yeah she moved like a

[37:03] Japanese ghost she moves like Jet Li would move if they didn't have to slow

[37:08] down the video so you say if Jet Li was a Japanese water ghost yeah I guess but

[37:17] uh but she's also carved this symbol into her arm and while she was under the

[37:27] influence of ghost possession the ghost being their son so their son is sending

[37:32] a message from beyond the pale beyond the pale yeah yeah that's like from

[37:37] beyond the grave beyond the veil the wedding day on the face sounds getting

[37:41] married it's terrible they had to find out through an arm carving I still got a

[37:51] life I'm trapped by this ethereal basement but I'm so play the field I met

[37:58] someone yeah so they they've got the symbol and luckily luckily they don't go

[38:03] to the cops and be like my wife also has this thing carved into her yep arm

[38:09] the detective this one is just building a case file on Nicholas no they go they

[38:15] go to Nicolas Cage's friend like weird dramatic friend at the definitely

[38:23] Scandinavian or German University University and they look up the symbol

[38:28] which is a Celtic symbol and they realize that there's an old Celtic they

[38:35] pull out their monster manual and they check that symbol against every evil

[38:39] deity well they don't they don't find out what the symbol is at the university

[38:44] oh yeah they find that out later on what they do at the university is just

[38:48] discover that there was there was a Celtic church yeah all right

[38:55] to Amsterdam why they change the better that way I guess so and they find out

[39:02] that that that church does a special ceremony once a year on the night that

[39:08] it is right now in the movie Halloween yeah and they do this dope-ass Wicker

[39:16] Man party yeah where everybody wears robes and cool animal masks and they

[39:20] sing these kind of kind of weird songs and so they go up to this lady who's you

[39:28] know celebrating Salon which is the stupid old name for Halloween uh-huh and

[39:34] they're like it's not as scary our our son disappeared on Halloween we think

[39:40] that he'd been totally ghostified and this lady's like I'm just a teacher from

[39:47] where like Bayside like I look man like basically just like I'm just a crazy

[39:53] Wiccan lady don't yeah and then they're like come on give us some more info but

[39:58] then like the yeah they show

[40:00] The thing on the wife's, the symbol on the wife's arm and suddenly this lady turns into

[40:06] ghost expert number one. Yeah, she's like, Oh, you have a symbol. Okay, so this is every single

[40:12] thing you could ever possibly need to know about this thing. The entire legend is explained in that

[40:17] in like in her next six sentences, right? She says how what it was, what's the entire storyline

[40:22] behind this? Well, the symbol is of like the crone, which it comes and it steals three children

[40:31] every Halloween. Yep. And that's a that's paying the ghost. And he's like, wait,

[40:36] so there's the crone, the ghost. And she's like, Yeah, probably, dude, I don't care.

[40:40] Yeah. She starts every sentence by saying, like, legend says, and at no point, it's like,

[40:45] what legend? Like, where are you hearing this stuff? And I do the same thing when I'm bartending.

[40:50] What do you have on tap? I'm like, well, legend says, we have a six point sweet action. Why is

[40:57] it called that? Well, the legend says, I've heard sell the bathroom is two doors to the right,

[41:03] but you wouldn't want to go there unless you want to use a bathroom.

[41:08] Prophecy foretells that we take credit or debit. No American Express. Yeah, of course not.

[41:15] Prophecy tells that American Express charges higher rates.

[41:21] But yeah, like, and there's these kids burning little ghost or little kid dolls in the fire.

[41:27] And that's because they don't want to be taken by the ghost. That's a that's the sacrifice that

[41:31] they're making. But that goes all the way back to the first scene. Right. So what actually happened

[41:37] was. Yeah. Well, this is this is like it. Half of it gets explained by this lady. Yeah. We didn't

[41:42] outline by like the German lady back at the university, because like the first part is just

[41:47] like this general thing about the supernatural. But I think they get enough information that he's

[41:52] like, all right, that place that I heard that lady crying said, pay the ghost on the wall.

[41:58] The lady's like the the bond, the bonds between the two worlds become permeable on Halloween. And

[42:05] if you want to go get your son, you got to do it tonight. But you can only do it tonight because

[42:10] after the first year, the three children that are taken can never return. You know, like, thanks

[42:17] for giving me a ticking clock and having really weird rules. Yeah. Thanks for giving me the all

[42:22] the rules I need to. I guess it's Bayside. They do things strange. But here in Manhattan, we do

[42:28] things a bit more swanky. Tell me where the cocktail lounge is, where this ghost is so I can

[42:34] go there. That's a weird thing about this. Not a weird thing. It's just like the thing that always

[42:38] happens with these rules. Whenever someone comes to explain, it's like they always give the exact

[42:42] correct amount of information. There's never like an extraneous rule. It's always like it's always

[42:47] exactly what they need to hear when they need to hear it. And never there's never like a second

[42:51] legend she heard about how, like, if you turn the chimes westward on the 14th day of November,

[42:57] then the ghost will also dance for you. But I guess that's not really relevant here.

[43:02] Keep turning these fucking chimes and the ghost isn't dancing.

[43:05] This is the main get to be like, OK, that's it. We don't need to know that. Like,

[43:10] this other thing seems more important. That's it's a little lazy. I saw a lazy plot. Yeah,

[43:16] let's say a little lazy. This Bayside teacher happened to show up and find a lady who just

[43:22] gives a dozen info dump on them. Yeah, that's exactly all we need to know. Thanks, lady.

[43:26] They're like, we don't even know your name. Oh, it turns out that it's prior. Of course,

[43:32] she's just reading the Wikipedia page for the ghost. Yep. What do they leave? And she's like,

[43:38] those guys didn't even ask my name. So much info, not even a not even a tip, not even a thank you.

[43:44] Yeah. You know, this is my Facebook page. This festival isn't free every year. You know,

[43:52] money comes love. It comes out of my pocket. These songs are on my band camp page.

[43:56] So Cage obviously realizes, obviously, I have a really great podcast. He needs to race uptown to

[44:02] where the there was the graffiti that said, pay the ghost. Like, that's where he's got to go,

[44:06] because that's where the wailing woman was. Luckily, in the cab, they get a phone and they

[44:10] call his Scandinavian friend who says, gives all the information you need, all the backstory of

[44:17] the ghost, gives the ghost name, all that shit. Then she leaves her office. She's like, what's

[44:21] that in the corner? Ghost pushes her out of a window. She's totally dead. Yeah. But that's what

[44:25] was happening in the first scene is like this Celtic lady was being blamed for something. I

[44:30] can't remember. And oh, yeah, we get a fly to angry townsfolk come in and they kill her and

[44:35] they or they grab her and they grab her children who we saw in the first scene and they burn her

[44:40] children in front of her, which is why there was a vision of burning children later on in the movie.

[44:44] Yep. And that's why and she gets burned. That's why she has all these fire powers.

[44:49] So while she's watching her kids get burned by these dudes with really gross faces,

[44:55] she gives a curse. So she's like, you guys all thought I was a witch. Well,

[44:58] fuck you. I totally am a witch. I'm going to curse you and it's going to work forever.

[45:03] So that happens, which is kind of troubling. I'm a little concerned about that.

[45:08] And then so she burns alive. What's that? Yeah. You know, you're right, because like,

[45:12] well, regardless what happens in the end, they don't really resolve that curse. Right. Well,

[45:17] let's get to the end. Well, and yeah, I just realized that.

[45:21] Well, the curse isn't resolved. And it's such a common thing with any kind of like a witch story

[45:27] is they're like, this person was killed because people thought she was a witch. And guess what?

[45:31] She totally was a witch. Yeah, she totally has the power to be able to cast spells on them.

[45:37] But it was also like you think like as a victim of injustice herself, she would not want to revisit

[45:41] that injustice among other innocent people. You would think that you would think that,

[45:45] but you would also think that they're not very progressive politically, I guess.

[45:48] It's also the idea of like, oh, in history, people burned women for no real good reason.

[45:54] They were not spell casters. But this is us saying that in history, yeah, there's a chance.

[46:01] I think more often than not, they got it right. I may have mentioned this on the podcast before.

[46:05] I can't recall. But I remember when I went up to Salem, Massachusetts for a wedding, I was really

[46:12] annoyed at how around the town there were all these like, witch things like, like, like,

[46:19] pointy hats. And like, there was a, there were like, wax museums and a,

[46:28] there was a statue of Hollywood's Jeffrey Tambor in the flesh or wax.

[46:32] There's a statue of Samantha from Bewitched, the sitcom in the middle of the town square.

[46:40] It'd be great if it was all wax statues of Hollywood celebrities, but all being burned at

[46:42] the stage. The statue of Samantha, it says, Samantha would have been, would have been burned

[46:48] alive under normal circumstances, had she gone back in time for some stupid reason.

[46:53] Jim Carrey, burned at the stake for his rubbery face.

[46:58] It really, it upset me like the degree to which like, oh, this town has made a real

[47:03] nice tourist dollar off of these four innocent girls who got killed by your ancestors.

[47:11] Doesn't it kind of make you think that they died for a worthy cause, though?

[47:18] I mean, if you had to die because you're being accused of witchcraft, I mean, there's not,

[47:21] at least not some flower blooms.

[47:23] Yeah, it's not unlike when you die, Dan, which will probably not be that far in the future.

[47:28] You're sure going to want your ashes to be spread upon a field so that your,

[47:32] your life giving body can give forth to new life.

[47:36] You hear something?

[47:37] Well, I got a letter from your doctor. It was handwritten for some reason.

[47:42] His doctor said he's going to kill you.

[47:45] It was all cut out letters from newspapers.

[47:49] It was something about playing a game, and I'm like, I don't really care about playing a game.

[47:54] He refuses to pay.

[47:56] Like, this is too long, honks you, I'm sleepy, throw away in the garbage.

[48:01] Yes, it's good. I know about it.

[48:03] I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah, there's a warning.

[48:06] I'm sorry.

[48:07] Yeah, like he so he goes to like, he goes back to that place where,

[48:12] where it was all the homeless community.

[48:15] They're pretty much all gone.

[48:16] They're out playing in the at the carnival.

[48:19] And he finds the blind guy with the dreadlocks, gives him a watch.

[48:23] The blind guy with the dreadlocks like, okay, I'll take you to the other side.

[48:26] He shows him this magical bridge with in a smog room or a fog room.

[48:31] Yeah, it's just like a bridge through basically nowhere.

[48:34] Yeah, it's the sort of thing that you're like,

[48:36] oh, he's wandering into fucking the set of Nightbreed all of a sudden.

[48:40] Yeah, that's what it reminded me.

[48:41] It reminded me of something out of Hellraiser 2 rather than like,

[48:44] Yeah, without the super crazy stuff.

[48:48] Without the great stuff that makes Hellraiser 2 super awesome.

[48:50] The giant geometry hell.

[48:53] How great also that like the eternal portal between this world and the other world is

[48:57] like 30 subway stops away from where he is.

[49:00] Like he just he's like, how can we easily get there?

[49:03] That's super convenient.

[49:04] That's part of the convenience of living in Manhattan.

[49:06] You know what?

[49:06] It's great.

[49:07] Yeah, I'd like to show you this apartment.

[49:08] It's sun drenched and very near a portal to the other world.

[49:12] There's no roof from the subway.

[49:15] It's other world adjacent.

[49:18] It's 400 steps from the subway.

[49:21] The cries of the damned are in my ear all night, but I can take a cab home.

[49:25] So he rushes into the netherworlds and he goes.

[49:29] It connects to the cabin that we saw in the flashback.

[49:32] And he goes and he gets he goes into the basement where the kids were hiding.

[49:37] And he goes down and there's.

[49:38] And there's like her old house.

[49:39] He goes back into like the old house where she was murdered.

[49:42] Yeah, he goes back in time.

[49:43] He does not need a DeLorean.

[49:46] He's just back there.

[49:46] Just that long bridge.

[49:47] He does not need ZZ Top.

[49:50] Doesn't need the power of love.

[49:52] So he's down there in the basement.

[49:54] And that basement is this big room filled with scary ghost kids.

[49:58] Very basement.

[49:59] Her children.

[50:00] Hid to avoid and it's that was kind of the I think that's a great scene. I think that's a great

[50:04] uh

[50:05] Scene that's slightly undone by special effects

[50:07] But it's a scene where he goes downstairs and it's all these little ghost kids looking at him

[50:11] And because they were all abducted on halloween. They're all wearing costumes. Yeah

[50:15] And he he says he's like charlie

[50:19] And all the kids raise their hand and he's like, it's a little heartbreaking. Yeah, they all think they're charlie

[50:25] I

[50:27] Thought they were all just trying to like get to

[50:31] I'm charlie. Yeah, remember me your precious boy. I look like a girl now, but

[50:39] Like an old-timey newscaster

[50:42] This has been happening for 300 years, right? It's gonna be some 1940s girls there, you know, i'm a native american girl, but

[50:48] I'm charlie. I can be your charlie. I mean, that's the great thing about halloween. You can be anybody

[50:52] Yeah, so he goes downstairs and he's like running his hands like he's like he's maximus

[50:58] Going home to his family in heaven and he's running his hands through

[51:03] Uh, but as he touches these ghost kids hands they turn into uh, smoky ash which

[51:09] Is kind of lame like I mean, I understand why they did it that way

[51:12] But the more special effects you put into a scene

[51:14] A horror a horror scene the less scary it gets. Oh, that's an interesting theory

[51:19] Yeah, I think about it. Well, it is also I think we may have skipped over this but like as part of the

[51:23] Info dump that she gives them she says that only the children who have been inducted the last year

[51:28] Can be saved so all these kids

[51:31] From 300 400 years. Yeah, they are like are gone forever. They can't be they can't be saved. They're ghosts

[51:38] Uh already so he eventually finds his kid and he finds the other two kids

[51:41] Was it weird that he walked past that whole group of uh teenage girls dressed like sexy cats?

[51:46] Yeah, that felt that felt gratuitous

[51:49] Yeah, yeah, you're like

[51:53] They're not really kids it doesn't really fit your curse ghost needs a little something for mama

[51:59] Seem like more like very moralistic of her like oh quit dressing like sluts

[52:03] Yeah, yeah. She's a jason bohr. He's done

[52:06] So he grabs those three kids and he goes rushing up the stairs

[52:10] And he goes out the house and then the other kids start to follow him. You're like what's going on here?

[52:14] They're glowing and then he goes across the bridge and you hear mama crying or shouting

[52:19] You find the ghost on the bridge. He gets in a fight with that ghost dan. Am I missing anything?

[52:24] Yeah, he gets totally blastified

[52:26] He gets blasted all and this ghost is crazy because at when when it's fighting nicholas cage

[52:30] It looks like this roasted up little turd

[52:33] But when it's talking to the kids, it looks like this beautiful, uh, wiccan lady from 1697 or whatever. They're seeing pre-burnt

[52:40] And uh, you know when he's well, I think what the ghost is trying to do is to uh,

[52:44] Pacify the children and be like hey, it's not that bad

[52:46] If we're gonna go hang out in this weird basement because I look like a normal person

[52:50] Yeah

[52:51] And it's also one of these movie scenes though where like the ghost has about as much power as it needs to for whatever scene

[52:57] It's in because it can apparently

[52:59] Emulate a woman from inside out

[53:02] But when he's fighting nicholas cage, all I can do is sort of like slam him around a little bit

[53:06] Yeah, I mean he's really tough though. Yeah

[53:09] What's he gonna run? Yeah

[53:11] Yeah

[53:12] I mean, yeah, but he runs a distance though. Yeah

[53:15] Uh, so yeah there so he fights the ghost while floating above the bridge for a while and then all the other kid ghosts

[53:22] spurred on by charlie

[53:24] surround, uh

[53:26] Surround mama ghost and drag her away allowing our heroes to escape

[53:31] They they realize that they if they can't save themselves, they can at least save these three

[53:36] Of their brothers and sisters so nicholas cage I off screen i'm assuming returns pablo to his father who we have previously seen has turned

[53:43] To heroin use after his son was uh abducted so that i'm sure will be a happy ending

[53:48] No, wait, that wasn't pablo. That couldn't have been pablo because that that was two years ago. Oh

[53:53] That dad. Yeah. No that dad should be on heroin

[53:56] Yeah, there's no reason. Yeah

[53:59] Uh, what about my dad? What about mia? The uh mia? Yeah

[54:03] Okay, so he takes her back to her mother at the restaurant, I mean, you don't see it but I assume yeah

[54:07] I just keep those two kids his own kids. Yeah, he's like i'm the ghost now dog

[54:12] Look, does she go down the underworld to get you guys? No, they're my children now

[54:17] Marry each other and then he returns home. They're all happy

[54:21] cut

[54:22] to an after credits

[54:24] teaser scene we see a couple of vultures

[54:28] Feasting on the dead body of his friend, uh from the university who is impaled on a bunch of rebar

[54:35] and her eyes pop open and we're like

[54:38] the end question mark

[54:41] I don't know what that ending was

[54:45] Is she going to come back to I guess she's inhabited the body of it can't be their friend

[54:50] I don't know also like why is her body in a dumpster like many many?

[54:54] I don't know where she was killed

[54:56] I think I think it's in the construction site adjacent to the university building that she was thrown out the window of

[55:02] Shubin that he could not have gone to this abandoned

[55:05] Homeless filled no, but she was thrown she was thrown she was in the university and was chucked out the window by the ghost

[55:13] And then she landed on something. I mean, maybe maybe they're adjacent in that area

[55:18] Right. I mean, I don't know the mulch is going all over the place

[55:21] Is it pretty fast and loose with manhattan geography what I think happened was

[55:24] The she was smashed out of the university building landed on the university campus

[55:29] The paramedics were like it's halloween. We got so much stuff to do too much

[55:33] Let's just chuck her in a dumpster. We'll come back later

[55:35] Forgot and now she's in the dumpster off the side of manhattan somewhere. Uh-huh

[55:39] so it's uh, so the next movie is more of a tale of the horrors of kind of like the wire like the horrors of like

[55:46] How the systems of our cities are kind of collapsing she's a ghost trying to go through bureaucracy to get her body discovered

[55:52] Exactly and the people that slipped through the cracks and the dead bodies

[55:57] Amazing amount of social commentary. Yeah pay the ghost too

[56:01] indictment of our social systems

[56:03] Yeah, uh, so now it's time for final judgments about this movie whether it was a good bad movie a bad bad movie

[56:10] or a movie you kind of liked

[56:12] uh

[56:13] i'll go first

[56:15] and i'll say

[56:17] that

[56:20] It is not a very entertaining movie

[56:25] It's kind of slow

[56:26] but

[56:28] I barely kind of liked it. I don't know like I didn't

[56:31] I I think I kind of liked it by default just because I didn't dislike it

[56:37] And I didn't think it was funny

[56:39] so

[56:40] That's the closest of the three categories I can get to

[56:44] is like

[56:45] You know, so you're gonna kind of keep one foot on shore here. Yeah

[56:48] It did. All right

[56:50] it all hung together like it made sense as a as a movie like a little too much sense in a way like the

[56:56] they were a little too into explaining everything that happened in the

[57:00] in the movie, but

[57:02] uh

[57:03] I'm gonna say

[57:04] With a heavy heart i'm going to call this one a bad bad movie

[57:08] All right, I don't think this is the worst nicholas cage movie i've ever seen

[57:12] Uh, and I don't think the movie is actually as a horror movie. It's that bad

[57:16] Uh, but you don't really get that like nicholas cage doesn't put in that much of a fun performance

[57:21] There's not a really a lot of memorable stuff here

[57:25] uh

[57:26] It's just I don't think there's a it everything's kind of cliche. There's just not enough there to really

[57:32] Recommend it to spending your time on

[57:35] Uh, you know, actually I think I might lean in dan's direction

[57:40] I agree actually now think about there's wasn't a lot of things to

[57:43] to remember and hold on to but it did zip by at a pretty good pace sometimes like two

[57:50] sometimes like

[57:51] This is the one thing about the thing, but they like the psychic died

[57:54] Uh, like in their house and like five hours later, they were spending the night in that house

[57:59] When the next ghost event occurred

[58:00] So there was a lot of like just kind of getting through the movie that I kind of liked

[58:04] And the story itself was kind of interesting

[58:07] So a psychic gets exploded by a ghost in their house five hours later

[58:11] They're like i'm gonna try and catch some z's and he was like, so I can't sleep. Can you could we maybe she's like?

[58:16] Yeah, I think i'm gonna give it a go. And so she's trying to sleep and then her ipad switches on mysteriously

[58:21] She's like i'm gonna fucking look at this thing because who knows maybe I got a push notification

[58:26] Maybe there's a rare ass pokemon in my neighborhood

[58:29] She picks up the thing she sees a ghost image. Oh, no now she's a ghost like fuck off, dude

[58:34] Don't you know that's going to be it's pretty quick though, you know

[58:37] Like, you know spend a lot of time like nervously waiting you zip through it

[58:40] And I I think and this is my my big problem with a lot of like, uh thriller ghost movies that the ghost

[58:45] It seems to me is always killing and hurting people when the ghost wants help

[58:50] And I feel like this is one of those times. I'm like, oh the ghost

[58:52] Genuinely wanted to try and prevent what was about to happen

[58:55] What didn't want the kids were trying to reach out to scream and the ghost was preventing it

[58:59] And the kids at the end of it all like in that that in massive enormous

[59:04] Infinitely sized room with all those kids. That was pretty cool

[59:07] I'm gonna say this movie just kind of tips on the good bad side. Okay, I

[59:12] I did kind of want to see a a credit sequence, uh scene though where

[59:17] uh, the detective comes back and is like

[59:19] Uh, so your son just came back I guess yep, he's like you explain that your friend is dead

[59:27] Your friend is dead and you have these two other children who've been missing

[59:31] Yeah

[59:32] I'm, not gonna say this is suspicious. He's like it's gonna be a long story. Yeah

[59:38] Nicholas cage you're under arrest

[59:40] My name is mike

[59:42] For stealing my heart

[59:45] Case closed

[59:47] Throw the book at him

[59:53] The three of you enter a cave of a big red dragon and it's standing over a horde of precious golden rubies and he said

[1:00:00] It's what do you do adventures? I'm a dragon man. I cast fire on him. It's very good

[1:00:04] I address the red dragon to say us

[1:00:06] We're the host of the adventure zone a podcast about family playing dungeons and dry very good synergy commit to the bit

[1:00:13] I I rolled the charm new listeners. It is very effective against all odds

[1:00:20] Everybody where the macros we host the adventure zones a podcast where we play Dungeons and Dragons together. It's a comedy podcast

[1:00:25] We don't take the rules too seriously because there's a lot of them and we did not take the time to learn that maybe listen

[1:00:29] To us you come out every other Thursday on the maximum fun network. You can find us on iTunes or on maximum fund

[1:00:35] I think this promo is a critical hit

[1:00:44] Now we move on pay the ghost hey, how about paying ourselves?

[1:00:49] Yeah, clever with a bit of floppers housekeeping. Yeah, we got some

[1:00:55] some sponsors what

[1:00:58] Our first sponsor tonight is Blue Apron

[1:01:02] For less than $10 per meal Blue Apron delivers seasonal represent recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients

[1:01:09] Make delicious home-cooked meals. So basically you get

[1:01:15] Ingredients sent to you with a little recipe to cook it right up. Yeah, have you seen this stuff yet?

[1:01:21] I've seen competitors, but I've heard that Blue Apron has the best and I'm not just saying that because

[1:01:26] So the last couple last couple episodes we've been doing this. Okay, you're in our flop

[1:01:29] Oh, yeah last couple episodes

[1:01:31] We've had Blue Apron as a sponsor and it's been great and every time I make a joke about how Dan is this sad guy

[1:01:37] Eating meals for one by himself over his sink or a garbage can depending on what what's available. I love these

[1:01:46] Could not be happier

[1:01:48] But that's one of the great things about Blue Apron is how you get your pre-packaged ingredients. So you're not like

[1:01:54] You're not like me who you're like, I feel like some scallions on these scrambled eggs and you buy scallions and you're like

[1:02:00] What am I gonna do with all these fucking extra?

[1:02:03] Why did I buy the 40 pack? I guess I'm gonna be eating scallions for every I guess I'm gonna put it in my lunch

[1:02:09] My lunch pail. I'm wonderful. Yeah, I'm gonna cut open my the plastic covering of my fucking Lunchables

[1:02:17] Scallions and to my single-serving pepperonis and little charcuterie

[1:02:21] Single-serving pepperonis and little chocolate. I have to serve a little red stick to make more room for these scallions

[1:02:28] yeah, I'll eat the

[1:02:30] Liquid cheese with a green onion instead of the little plastic red stick. There's one cracker fifth like five scallions and the other cracker

[1:02:40] But the great thing about this is you get a lot of different variety of

[1:02:44] types of meals you get

[1:02:46] It's very flexible you can customize your recipes each week based on your preferences and

[1:02:50] Choose. Oh, that's pretty good. You don't just get like what they think you should be eating. No

[1:02:54] Yeah, you can I mean like there's vegetarian options. There's options for if you have certain dietary

[1:03:01] problems

[1:03:02] If you can choose delivery options to fit your needs, you know

[1:03:06] If there's a week that you can't have it like we're going to the conventions to cover

[1:03:11] That for the daily show and I have a trial blue apron

[1:03:16] Count and I can't canceled for the weeks that I'd be away. That's great

[1:03:19] You'll be so there's not food rotting in my foyer just sitting outside the scallion smelling

[1:03:25] So instead you'll be eating you'll be wherever the convention is and you'll be eating what like

[1:03:30] Spaghetti with chili on top or whatever. They you'll be eating tear gas is what you'll be eating

[1:03:35] Inventions, you'll be eating crow when you find out they have a lot of great stuff

[1:03:40] It's gonna be violence what I'm saying

[1:03:43] But you can check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blue apron comm slash

[1:03:50] Flophouse, you'll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home-cooked meals with blue apron

[1:03:55] So don't wait blue apron a better way to cook

[1:03:59] Hell, yeah, dude

[1:04:01] Mm-hmm. So you're gonna be hurrying back to cook meals for yourself. Yeah

[1:04:06] Oh, I say they come in servings of two or three, right? Yeah

[1:04:11] Yeah, I'm here they do something they come in either service of two or a family size serving and the service of two is

[1:04:17] It's good for me though, too

[1:04:19] Because I can I can have one left over in splurge a little yeah, you can treat yourself. You can make a little yeah

[1:04:24] Wait for Archie stuff myself. I can just that'll make you feel better, right?

[1:04:29] Yeah, I can eat my feelings you can invite over your friends. You've been yeah

[1:04:34] He's looking for a best friend now that he's found out this was all

[1:04:38] I

[1:04:39] Said Elliot was my my former best friend and now he's gone. I know you're my oh my god

[1:04:44] I know you so well as you and we always do this you left the dots there for me to connect

[1:04:49] You knew that I was gonna connect them. Okay guys and in addition to that sweet sponsor

[1:04:54] We have an even well, maybe just a sweet

[1:04:57] jumbotron message

[1:05:00] And the message this is a jumbotron message

[1:05:02] So if you want to get a message on the flop house either as a bit as a business or as a personal message

[1:05:08] You can go over to maximum fun org and fill it out and then you get to put it up on our thing

[1:05:13] Oh, this is pretty we get to read it out loud in our sweet voices. Usually it's me. Sometimes it's Elliot

[1:05:19] And this message goes as follows are bad movies getting you down

[1:05:24] How about a good film written and directed by a fan of the flop house they were fans of us, I guess

[1:05:31] It's called prep school a dark and twisted tale of adolescence and revenge

[1:05:37] set at an elite

[1:05:38] California boarding school

[1:05:40] Prep school stars Carly Schroeder Ben Bellamy and the star of peaches favorite. That's us. Just one of the guys

[1:05:49] Clayton Roaner

[1:05:51] Prep school is now available on iTunes Direct TV and other fine VOD platforms

[1:05:57] It's a small movie, but hopefully not one deemed worthy of small timber now. It's a thing

[1:06:06] There now I probably mispronounced all those yeah, and as far as I'm concerned the star of just one of the guys is Joyce Heiser I

[1:06:13] mean, yeah, so I was

[1:06:16] A there can be two stars, right?

[1:06:18] No, there can be if I recall there's only one star that at the end of the movie

[1:06:29] Yeah, that was played on HBO all the time that's the moment where puberty happened across the country

[1:06:35] I am pretty impressed that you guys are influencing the next generation of filmmakers

[1:06:40] Yeah

[1:06:42] Sounds it's like a mistake. Yeah, I know it's gonna be a lot of in jokes and

[1:06:47] Gaslighting references that I'm gonna make any red and sense of people outside. Yeah

[1:06:51] So you guys should search for prep school on iTunes or visit?

[1:06:56] Prep school movie calm. That's all one word prep school movie and then calm to check out the movie prep school today

[1:07:04] That's really impressive making a movie. Yeah, you guys should check that out

[1:07:08] We should check out the movie

[1:07:11] Making movie we should have just we should have we should have made a movie. Yeah

[1:07:15] I feel like I've wasted my my time. I mean, I think we learned some stuff right ghosts are terrifying

[1:07:20] Yeah, I learned I learned about it what a Bayside teacher in Queens knows

[1:07:25] About about bizarre myths while this guy was out there making a whole movie. Mm-hmm the same night. I presume

[1:07:31] That's what happens when you're a creator as opposed to some kind of jerk

[1:07:35] Consumes

[1:07:36] Mm-hmm. I do want to say before we move on that

[1:07:40] our DC show

[1:07:43] August 5th DC Comics Detective Comics. It's August 5th Friday

[1:07:47] Yeah, our Washington DC show at Black Cat is almost sold out. I believe there are approximately 20 tickets left

[1:07:56] I don't know I hate to say this, but I hope by the time you hear this

[1:07:59] It's already sold out and you hear this and you click on it and you see that sold out and rinse your garments

[1:08:04] You feel really do you smear ashes on your face?

[1:08:07] You messed up big-time, buddy, and then you can tweet us and we'll say I'm sorry for making fun

[1:08:13] Just saying they're refreshing the link over and over again. I'm hoping somebody return the tickets. That's not gonna happen buddy turn tickets

[1:08:19] They're all refundable

[1:08:21] Then I go on StubHub and I'll scout some tickets

[1:08:24] I bought up a good chunk of the seats and I'm looking to unload them at 50 times the price

[1:08:30] Well, you don't want to risk these poor flop house people having half an audience. Do you know you'll pay top dollar

[1:08:37] Contact me June parang at the flop house podcast

[1:08:41] Listening mom humans about got a flop house podcast email address

[1:08:46] if they still exist and if you want to be in an audience of

[1:08:50] 500 rabid flop house fans and or

[1:08:53] Five, you know 400 fans and 100 people who just wandered in because they'll go to any fucking thing

[1:08:58] Then

[1:08:59] Then get on

[1:09:01] The movie and we're not gonna do it tonight

[1:09:04] Yeah, cuz we still haven't figured it out

[1:09:06] So follow the flop house podcast on Twitter and we'll probably announce it the day before the show

[1:09:13] But now it's time to move on to letters from listeners like you perhaps you wrote these letters

[1:09:18] I don't know. The first one says dears you but you're my favorite

[1:09:22] Oh

[1:09:26] Wait, so you're my new best friend

[1:09:28] I don't know what's happening. So this first letter is from full name withheld because I accidentally deleted the email

[1:09:36] So I don't remember full name. Okay, really? We believe the email. So this is all just coming from memory. Yeah, that's right

[1:09:43] I

[1:09:44] have

[1:09:45] photographic memory this goes

[1:09:48] peaches

[1:09:49] I'm spending my Saturday watching the Stewart trilogy of movies. Uh-huh head of the family invisible maniac castle freak

[1:09:56] There's so much TNA for the gents, but as a female

[1:10:00] I want some dicks and man ass.

[1:10:02] And Adam Stewart, please recommend some movies for your female listeners who want some DNA.

[1:10:08] I'm not asking Elliot because he only recommends from the Hays Code film era.

[1:10:12] Wow, what a slam.

[1:10:14] Elliot slam. I wish he was here to blush.

[1:10:17] So movies for the ladies, my number one movie doesn't actually feature any dicks,

[1:10:21] but you should watch it anyway if you like a hundred pounds of,

[1:10:26] wait, way more than a hundred pounds, tons of pounds of man meat.

[1:10:29] You should go watch Magic Mike XXL.

[1:10:32] So you can see Channing Tatum and all the other boys flex their beefcake bodies

[1:10:37] all over each other and ladies and whatnot.

[1:10:40] And it's all good, clean, kind of dirty, but kind of clean fun.

[1:10:44] There's no peen in the Magic Mike movies?

[1:10:46] There's no peen in the Magic Mike movies.

[1:10:48] If you want to see peen, I don't know, watch Shame so you can see Michael Fassbender's weenus.

[1:10:52] That was going to be my top recommendation.

[1:10:55] Top pick to watch a man go through the struggle of coping with sexual addiction.

[1:11:00] If you want something sexy, I don't know whether it's –

[1:11:04] Yeah, watch Hollow Man so you can see Kevin Bacon's half-invisible wiener.

[1:11:10] I would recommend, not a movie, but what I think is the first episode to our premiere of Vinyl,

[1:11:16] now canceled HBO TV show, that features Bobby Cannavale exiting the shower totally starkers.

[1:11:23] You get to see his hog?

[1:11:24] Let me tell you something. That man is packing.

[1:11:26] Not only did I see it in Vinyl, but I was a big Boardwalk Empire fan.

[1:11:33] And there's a scene in that movie, in that TV show,

[1:11:36] oh, my God, the full name withheld is going to really enjoy this.

[1:11:40] There's a scene where he is in the middle of having sex with a prostitute, very roughly,

[1:11:45] when an assassination attempt is made on him.

[1:11:48] He very deftly maneuvers himself to the prostitute, takes the bullet multiple times,

[1:11:53] then kills the assassin, and then soaked in blood, heaving with rage,

[1:12:00] with a leather belt wrapped around his neck as he's into getting choked.

[1:12:04] He stalks down the hall looking for other assassins, totally naked, swinging some pipe.

[1:12:10] Swing, ding-dong.

[1:12:11] Let me tell you something. It is a terrifying sight to behold when you see it.

[1:12:15] And the directing and cinematography on this, and I do say cinematography, is beautiful.

[1:12:21] So if you are interested in—

[1:12:23] So he's being led around by this dowsing rod of a ding-dong that's just flopping around,

[1:12:28] leading him to things to murder.

[1:12:29] It's honestly a mind of its own, hunting down anybody who might cross him.

[1:12:32] And let me tell you something.

[1:12:34] Full name withheld, if you like your sexiness with a little bit of terror,

[1:12:38] Bobby Cannavale, somewhere in the third season of Boardwalk Empire.

[1:12:42] Yeah, if you like violence, like fighting along with your—

[1:12:46] Yeah, if you like a bloody snuffleupagus.

[1:12:49] There's Eastern Promises.

[1:12:52] Viggo Mortensen is totally nude while fighting off a couple of Russian assassins.

[1:12:58] You got Bronson, where Tom Hardy is nude.

[1:13:01] He's like, just oil me up so I can fight these dudes while I'm naked.

[1:13:05] Yeah, that's usually when you see a male nudity, is when the man is in intense danger.

[1:13:10] It's not tenderness.

[1:13:12] If you want to see just people chilling out while they're naked, watch, I don't know,

[1:13:16] Don't Look Now, but stop it after the nude scenes, because that movie sucks.

[1:13:20] It's also pornography.

[1:13:22] Yeah, if you can watch that.

[1:13:24] Yeah, if you can watch tenderness.

[1:13:26] You can see the tender pornography.

[1:13:28] But I appreciate—I always appreciate when a woman comes in with as much perviness as one of us.

[1:13:36] So I hope that we were able to help you with a few recommendations.

[1:13:40] It's a good thing Elliott wasn't here.

[1:13:42] He wouldn't have had that Bobby Cannavale thing.

[1:13:44] He would have had, like, 1944's—

[1:13:47] Oh, Michelangelo's Statue of David has a hog on him.

[1:13:52] I'm like, shut up, nerd.

[1:13:54] Give me your answers to the homework.

[1:13:56] In Vertigo, Jimmy Stewart's giant waisted pants.

[1:14:00] You can sometimes see a little bulge.

[1:14:03] The 1936 romantic comedy Moonstruck in Moscow features a sly wink by then-famous actor Marvin Persimany.

[1:14:14] And oh boy, did Governor Calvin Coolidge, then known as Calvin Sweetwalker Coolidge,

[1:14:21] small note studio head of the Warner Brothers Pictures, formerly known as Coolidge Pictures,

[1:14:28] reminded me, interesting, of a 1954 flick called Sweet Golly, a musical that was—

[1:14:35] That's a lot of sweets in this story.

[1:14:38] I like that your impression of Elliott is like an old-time newsreel announcer.

[1:14:43] I don't know how to do impressions.

[1:14:47] So this next letter is from RP, who writes,

[1:14:51] I'm sending this in anticipation of Father's Day on February 1st, so Dan has time to get his shit together.

[1:14:56] Nope.

[1:14:58] Maybe it's February 1st, 2019.

[1:15:02] Here's the deal. Dan's voice is eerily reminiscent of my dad's.

[1:15:06] Same timbre, tone, cadence, even word choice.

[1:15:10] Of course, he's about a decade or so younger, but it's still creepy.

[1:15:13] That got me thinking about the time I tried to show Wet Hot American Summer to my dad.

[1:15:17] I figured, hey, he's a fun guy, and he's also Jewish and grew up in Maine, so this will go well.

[1:15:22] It did not.

[1:15:24] He watched in stony silence, and when it was over, he turned to me with the sorrowful eyes of a man

[1:15:28] who has just mentally buried his eldest son.

[1:15:32] So here's my question.

[1:15:34] What movies that you love have you tried to show to your parents that went much worse than you anticipated?

[1:15:41] Wait, a movie that I showed my parents and went much worse than was anticipated?

[1:15:45] Oh, man.

[1:15:47] I remember showing my parents, recommending About Schmidt to my parents,

[1:15:54] not realizing that they would see that movie and realize that they themselves are getting old

[1:16:01] and that their lives are – they live in the Midwest, and they're getting older,

[1:16:06] and they're like, we don't like this movie.

[1:16:08] Oh.

[1:16:10] I'm like, but it's great.

[1:16:13] I don't know.

[1:16:14] I guess.

[1:16:15] I think they saw when Jack Nicholson treats himself to a medium, Blizzard,

[1:16:21] as a treat for sending money to that African kid, to Ndugu, the African kid,

[1:16:28] that they saw that kind of a little victory as being very depressing

[1:16:33] and yet eerily reminiscent of the little victories they give themselves.

[1:16:36] But since then, they've been climbing mountains.

[1:16:38] They've been living life to the fullest.

[1:16:40] Hopefully not listening to this podcast.

[1:16:44] Just telling you, you were right, son.

[1:16:46] We did think that.

[1:16:47] About Schmidt was totally great.

[1:16:49] You're the best son ever.

[1:16:50] I don't know that I have something exactly like this,

[1:16:54] showing a movie to my parents and it going worse than I anticipated.

[1:16:59] I remember that when I was young, because I was the movie buff,

[1:17:03] I was the one in charge of taking my bike down to the video store and picking out a movie.

[1:17:09] I remember coming home once with Wayne's World and my parents just being convinced

[1:17:14] that they would have no interest in seeing Wayne's World.

[1:17:16] And you know what?

[1:17:17] They kind of liked Wayne's World.

[1:17:18] They liked it?

[1:17:19] Yeah.

[1:17:21] But you liked the movie Wayne's World?

[1:17:23] Wait, what?

[1:17:25] Come on.

[1:17:26] Let's keep going.

[1:17:27] All right.

[1:17:28] Oh, so you're not a Wayne's World fan?

[1:17:30] No, I'm just messing with you.

[1:17:31] I was thinking that you were.

[1:17:33] I think now there's this burgeoning theory about how Wayne's World was not a good movie

[1:17:37] and everyone just has nostalgia for it.

[1:17:39] Oh, man.

[1:17:40] I haven't seen it in a long time.

[1:17:42] I remember it being very important to my life.

[1:17:45] That's what I'm saying, though, right?

[1:17:47] Everything about my personality.

[1:17:48] A lot of those movies, you've got to go back and be like,

[1:17:50] was the Transformers movie really the seminal artwork of the 1980s?

[1:17:57] Or am I just kind of exaggerating?

[1:17:59] I mean, it was.

[1:18:00] It was Orson Welles' last great performance.

[1:18:02] Sure, sure.

[1:18:03] But was that all it had going for it?

[1:18:06] I mean, Optimus Prime dies, but you've got the touches in there.

[1:18:10] So I guess, yes.

[1:18:11] I guess it was the seminal artwork of the 1980s.

[1:18:13] Never mind.

[1:18:15] This one goes, Dear Flophouse, long-time writer, first-time listener,

[1:18:19] quick question, has the show always been about movies?

[1:18:21] I'll take my answer off the air.

[1:18:23] Mega dittos, Ken Feist.

[1:18:25] I gave his last name Ken Feist because he made a video for the Rocket Crocodile

[1:18:30] and the World of Tomorrow song that, as he says, has puppets, stop motion,

[1:18:35] and boobs.

[1:18:36] And it's a really great video.

[1:18:39] I put it on the website for the last episode.

[1:18:42] If I remember, I'll put it on the website again for this episode.

[1:18:47] But you should check it out.

[1:18:50] And that's really the main reason I read this letter was just to give him.

[1:18:54] Yeah, give him some props for putting together a great little video.

[1:18:58] Which was a music video for a song that was put together, what, two years ago?

[1:19:06] Yeah.

[1:19:07] By, was that Jason Michael McIsaacs?

[1:19:09] That's right.

[1:19:10] Our Canadian Flophouse pal.

[1:19:13] Who's great and put together a great little music song out of sound clips

[1:19:18] from our past episodes.

[1:19:20] Yeah.

[1:19:22] You guys have way too much interaction with your fan base.

[1:19:25] There needs to be some Disney-style clearing of the canon,

[1:19:29] some resetting everything.

[1:19:31] Back to the basics.

[1:19:32] Three of you in a mountain shack for a few months just watching movies

[1:19:36] over and over again.

[1:19:37] No, I'd rather a situation where if people don't like something,

[1:19:42] if they write enough emails to us, we just change it entirely.

[1:19:47] So if people are like,

[1:19:48] we're tired of that house cat character you're always doing,

[1:19:51] I'll just write him out of the show.

[1:19:53] Why is he going to be here anymore?

[1:19:55] Because the show is scripted.

[1:19:56] You're going to be 100% open to fan interaction and changing?

[1:19:58] Exactly.

[1:19:59] Exclusively, yeah.

[1:20:00] i don't know that's a very good and it's similar to uh... american idol how they

[1:20:05] have a show where you like if i don't like that person's face

[1:20:08] i don't vote for him

[1:20:09] and they get kicked off now what a terrifying future this is the f

[1:20:14] the

[1:20:16] thermos of the mercy of the listeners

[1:20:19] so the last letter of the evening

[1:20:21] from dan last name withheld mccoy who writes

[1:20:24] dear floppers

[1:20:26] my dog is weird

[1:20:27] when he's on a walk and has to prove

[1:20:29] a lot of mystic is but right it's a chain link fence and poop in someone

[1:20:33] else's yard alcohol

[1:20:35] what should i do i don't want to trespass but also my dog's poop is in

[1:20:38] the yard thanks dan

[1:20:41] well first of all i think that's awesome

[1:20:44] it's like uh... it's like when you're a kid when you're a kid

[1:20:48] and uh... you know you have your friends over and you want to impress them

[1:20:52] so you sit on a wooden table anytime you want to fart

[1:20:55] because it makes the sound really loud

[1:20:57] i see the dog is as of following the same uh... the same method where he's

[1:21:02] like i'm going to show you that you think uh... normal poop is weird

[1:21:05] i'm gonna show you one through the strainer of the year

[1:21:09] these four equally separated poops yes

[1:21:13] you ever seen a play-doh fun

[1:21:14] during the basically what i'm doing here

[1:21:18] guys i got a theory about this letter okay

[1:21:21] i think dan is putting his dog poop in his neighbor's yard

[1:21:24] and he sent us this letter as an alibi to cover his tracks

[1:21:29] so he knows his neighbor's favorite podcast the flop house is these three great

[1:21:34] jokesters always yucking it up about shitty movies

[1:21:37] and so he knows that they're going to hear this letter

[1:21:39] and they're going to be like oh okay he can't help it

[1:21:42] the dog is doing that yeah and they might not even know it's their specific

[1:21:46] neighbor that wrote in but they're like you know what maybe this happens

[1:21:50] and this happens enough that i can forgive it

[1:21:53] and even if it gets a court the podcast is admissible evidence

[1:21:56] so it's admissible or inadmissible

[1:21:59] absolutely admissible oh no

[1:22:02] we all know that we're taping each other's yeah it's a wire you can put it up on the

[1:22:05] witness stand and you can't cross-examine the podcast it just keeps playing you know

[1:22:09] yeah

[1:22:12] uh... okay well i think that's a good plan dan

[1:22:16] read a letter about dog shitting

[1:22:18] i have had this dream guys it's i think it's achievable

[1:22:23] i just need you to support me a little bit

[1:22:25] because i would like to put together a coffee table book of photos

[1:22:29] of dogs faces when they're pooping

[1:22:34] because they make the best face

[1:22:37] that's like this most often it's a mixture of like

[1:22:40] kind of fear and also concern yeah that's exactly what it is

[1:22:45] and they look so great

[1:22:47] i don't necessarily need to see you know all the business

[1:22:51] i just like the dog's face when they're like i hope nobody grabs me

[1:22:55] that's a great idea

[1:22:56] yeah i like that look of like shame that they have on their face when they're pooping

[1:22:59] and then like the real like smile after they're done yeah they're like oh man i feel so much

[1:23:04] better now but also like the terror they have with their own poop like they want to get

[1:23:07] out of there like right then and then like if you if you want to pick it up

[1:23:12] they're pushing against the leash it's like postpartum depression

[1:23:17] they have to do it and they're so not that way with other dogs poop

[1:23:21] no the freaking nose is all up yeah they see another dog's poop they're like i'm

[1:23:24] gonna eat this thing oh my god i bet it's delicious

[1:23:27] as opposed to us we're the opposite way yeah you know

[1:23:31] yeah we take our poop and i'm like i'm gonna eat my own

[1:23:35] pass it down generation to generation to our mom's friends

[1:23:40] real great it's a callback it's a comedy callback real solid

[1:23:43] classic bit yeah that's why i'm that far up on the wrong hand i don't even know what

[1:23:49] that means when we go into our next bit which is what dan uh the final bit of the evening

[1:23:55] which is where we make recommendations of uh movies we've seen that you should watch

[1:24:00] instead of pay the ghost okay uh well we won't make jim and go first in case he forgot that

[1:24:05] this is part of the uh no but i i just recently watched a movie that i'll recommend so i know

[1:24:10] what to do um you guys go i'll i'll start out uh i watched finding dory which is not oh good i was

[1:24:17] ordering to take mine just keep not a movie that i uh think needs my recommendation because i

[1:24:22] believe it's like the highest grossing animated film ever or something like that already wow

[1:24:30] it's a bit ticked

[1:24:34] i'm shocked you've been all the money

[1:24:37] you bet all the money against finding dory being the top animated comedy oh my god you're gonna

[1:24:42] take your thumbs man i think my wife's operation i think i'm right about that i think that she

[1:24:48] needs new thumbs i think they're gonna take my thumbs and i was gonna pay to have them transplant

[1:24:56] onto her i believe that finding nemo was the previous champion and i believe that finding

[1:25:02] dory has surpassed it um anyway uh one reason that this spoke to me though is uh

[1:25:10] so i was not the biggest finding nemo fan i liked it but it didn't really like connect with me

[1:25:16] because it's a movie about uh the sort of concern that parents have for their children and while i

[1:25:23] can empathize with that while i can understand it you know i don't have that personally in my life

[1:25:28] and you love eating fish so you're just licking your chops the whole movie that's right it's like

[1:25:32] why don't they just why doesn't the father just eat the side the knife and fork and have been a

[1:25:37] bib on around you the entire movie um but finding dory in that uh it's about sort of living with

[1:25:45] this disability it's also about learning to live on one's own it's about dory like learning to

[1:25:53] survive for herself and with like the way things are in my life right now like surviving for myself

[1:26:00] is a big concern that i have and uh sort of the themes of finding dory uh resonated with me like

[1:26:08] the fear of being out there and having to take care of yourself in the world um and what that

[1:26:13] means and just having to charge ahead you also have that memento like disease right i do have

[1:26:17] that disease who are you is that a disease i'm your best friend injury i don't know i have this

[1:26:25] uh photograph of you that says don't trust this man oh no no no that's that's jubin p i'm jubin g

[1:26:34] i don't remember anything so i assume that jubin is a very common name in this world

[1:26:39] uh i mean i don't need to get into the plot of finding dory we all have a sense of what that is

[1:26:44] by now i just wanted to talk a little bit about how i found it very personally affecting so i i

[1:26:49] enjoyed it a lot finding dory yeah thumbs up from now now uh i think i mentioned this before but you

[1:26:57] know we got a guest on this episode so of course it's a great jumping on point so i'm going to

[1:27:03] throw out a little recommendation and this is mainly for my man jubin over there wait i'll

[1:27:08] watch it okay so this is a movie from 1995 okay directed by a little guy named luca burko v

[1:27:16] chi okay okay you might know him as the director of a movie called goolies okay not goolies go to

[1:27:23] college that was someone else now this movie in the uk is known as the matriarch but here in the

[1:27:29] united states it's called that's right the granny oh god the horror movie the granny yeah it's a

[1:27:36] horror movie called the granny oh wow you are you familiar with it already i'll be honest with you

[1:27:40] uh i think i uh in middle school i rented that movie because i think i'd heard there was a

[1:27:47] naked scene legend tells of a naked scene in the movie the granny i right and there but there isn't

[1:27:53] right it's just like no there are totally naked scenes in the granny so let me fill you in in

[1:27:58] case you don't remember yeah no the movie begins in ye olden times huh where there's a person who's

[1:28:04] totally possessed by something and this totally badass dude shows up with a ponytail and a sword

[1:28:08] and he cures that person kind of he doesn't by carrying me kills him i think okay fast forward

[1:28:14] to present day this old woman who's got a ton of cash is like my family wants me dead so they can

[1:28:20] inherit all my fucking stacks what am i gonna do i want to live forever so she talks to this cool

[1:28:26] ass dude with a ponytail who looks very similar to the dude from the beginning of the movie right

[1:28:31] and that dude who happens to be played by the director of the movie because he's like i kept

[1:28:36] trying to cast fucking badass cool dudes with fucking swords with ponytails i couldn't find

[1:28:41] him i guess i'll have to play the role myself okay so the granny is like yo i want this magical

[1:28:49] potion he's like okay i'll serve it to you but you can't drink this potion uh i don't know like

[1:28:55] after midnight i don't remember it that well however she drinks at the wrong time of course

[1:28:59] she freaks out at some point she dies and her family's like a bunch of shit bags except for the

[1:29:04] one kid who's like super hot and beautiful played by shannon worrie who has been in a bunch of

[1:29:09] movies but she has glasses and always has her hair in a ponytail so you're like she's kind of gross

[1:29:14] and everybody in the family's like you're gross and playing shannon worrie as a child or is this

[1:29:19] a grown shannon she's a grown-up oh okay so of course the granny dies and they take her away

[1:29:24] and the family starts partying guess what the granny comes back to life as a magical monster

[1:29:29] and totally starts murdering everybody long story short we get to a final battle i don't want to

[1:29:34] ruin it for you but it's awesome so jubin if you have a chance you should re-watch the granny maybe

[1:29:39] you saw like an edited version on usa or something where they cut out all the boobs you should watch

[1:29:45] again because there's totally a ton of that stuff i'll i'll definitely catch up with it if only for

[1:29:49] the sake of like remembering if i saw those boobs or not all those years ago i'll i want to yeah

[1:29:55] it'll be like you had the momentum oh you remember this ship down

[1:30:00] So, people that are keeping track at home, you can check out the Flophouse Recommends

[1:30:07] wiki website that keeps track of all the movies we recommend, and you can find out if I have

[1:30:12] now recommended The Granny more than any other movie.

[1:30:15] Oh, wait, this is just your standard go-to recommendation?

[1:30:18] It's one of them, and I will try and tell you, Juben, I don't know how you can watch

[1:30:22] it.

[1:30:23] I don't think it's on DVD or on YouTube anymore.

[1:30:24] Oh, I'm just going to be on a lifelong quest now to find this?

[1:30:28] Yeah, yeah.

[1:30:29] I mean, it's probably on, like, Daily Motion or something.

[1:30:32] Okay, there's got to be some YouTube compilation of clips that I can just kind of collate together

[1:30:38] in some semblance of a major moment.

[1:30:39] That's the perfect way for you to watch a movie, is a bunch of clips, and you're like,

[1:30:42] ah, I get the important bits.

[1:30:43] I understand the gist of it, and isn't that what a movie really is?

[1:30:47] Just a gist of a plot, right?

[1:30:50] I think Goddard said that.

[1:30:51] So, Juben, I think it's your turn.

[1:30:55] I actually saw two movies over this last weekend, The Lobster, which I don't know if you guys

[1:30:59] have talked about recently, which I saw and is interesting, but I don't know if I'd recommend

[1:31:04] as much as I saw as the documentary I saw, which was Wiener, which was the documentary

[1:31:09] about Anthony Wiener's run for mayor of New York City after his scandal, a documentary

[1:31:13] that he allowed full access to his campaign, and that then got inside all access to the

[1:31:21] dissolution of his campaign once the new allegations surfaced about him continuing his photo-sexuality

[1:31:29] thing with random women he met on the internet.

[1:31:32] It is a really hard movie to watch, and a very ...

[1:31:36] Well, that's when the Carlos Danger stuff came out?

[1:31:41] Yeah.

[1:31:42] Well, yeah, that is actually when it came out.

[1:31:44] That's exactly when it came out.

[1:31:46] It's very hard to watch, because you see the effect it has on him, and especially his wife,

[1:31:50] Huma Abedin, who is a brilliant woman, and is an innocent victim in all of this, and

[1:31:55] is being put to the ringer of dealing with this while also trying to get her husband

[1:31:59] elected as mayor.

[1:32:01] It's an amazing look at the personal side of that scandal that was just a hilarious

[1:32:05] joke to everybody two summers ago.

[1:32:09] I would recommend that, if only just to see how the inside machinations of a campaign

[1:32:17] works when the head of it is undergoing just the most personal humiliations you have ever

[1:32:22] seen.

[1:32:23] You guys had to write about it quite a bit for the Daily Show when this was happening,

[1:32:27] right?

[1:32:28] It was actually the summer that John Oliver was hosting for John.

[1:32:32] You guys were both on the show, so do you think that affected your viewing of the movie

[1:32:38] much?

[1:32:39] I think so a lot, yeah, because it's easy to look at it as a joke while you're going

[1:32:43] through it, to laugh at it, and also not to absolve him of any of his guilt for it.

[1:32:48] It was ...

[1:32:49] You're like, babes, come on.

[1:32:50] Come on, what are you going to do?

[1:32:52] Sidney Leathers?

[1:32:53] I mean, the name just brings to mind.

[1:32:55] What was it that you thought Sidney Leathers sounded like?

[1:32:57] I kept trying to get a joke on the Daily Show that never went through that Sidney Leathers

[1:33:01] sounded like an Australian bondage store.

[1:33:04] It does, yeah.

[1:33:07] Actually, when you see her later by the election night, and this became a big story, how she

[1:33:14] was trying to hunt him down at his own election night party to humiliate him in front of cameras

[1:33:20] and confront him, and how his campaign had to sneak him into the back entrance of a McDonald's

[1:33:25] at the bottom of the floor and get up to his floor.

[1:33:29] The humiliations he had to endure are ... Watching it now on the other side of it, it's actually

[1:33:33] ... You forget these politicians are people, and that their families are people who watch

[1:33:37] this stuff, who endure it just as much as they do.

[1:33:41] There's a rabid attempt to reveal the most embarrassing and awkward and wacky bullshit.

[1:33:48] Absolutely.

[1:33:49] Which is not to say he's not totally guilty of doing it all, but at the same time, though,

[1:33:52] there is a level of outrage at his actions that in the spectrum of scandals, sex scandals

[1:33:59] that have hit politicians and celebrities in recent years, isn't the worst thing in

[1:34:04] the world.

[1:34:05] Oh, you guys heard it here first, folks.

[1:34:06] Schubert-Bring absolves Anthony Weiner.

[1:34:09] I didn't say absolves.

[1:34:10] I did not say that.

[1:34:11] I just said totally exonerates.

[1:34:14] I'm just saying he should be our next president.

[1:34:16] Yeah, why not?

[1:34:17] Well, guys, one last thing before we go, I just want to remind everyone that we are part

[1:34:24] of the Maximum Fun Network of podcasts, which means that there are a lot of other great

[1:34:29] podcasts on Maximum Fun.

[1:34:32] If you go to MaximumFun.org, you can see them.

[1:34:37] Check them out.

[1:34:38] There's a ton of great shows on there, like The Greatest Generation, a fun podcast about

[1:34:43] Star Trek.

[1:34:44] Yeah.

[1:34:45] With our buddy Ben Harrison.

[1:34:48] Our buddy Ben Harrison.

[1:34:50] And Judge John Hodgman with our enemy John Hodgman.

[1:34:55] Yeah.

[1:34:56] Or My Brother and Me with our buddies, all of the McElroys.

[1:35:01] Or We Got This with our buddy Mark Cagliari.

[1:35:04] Or Pop Rocket, a show that's about great pop culture stuff, from a perspective that isn't

[1:35:10] just a bunch of idiots like us.

[1:35:12] Yeah.

[1:35:13] There's a lot of great shows.

[1:35:14] So check any of them out, and I think you'll be happy.

[1:35:18] But now it's time to say goodbye.

[1:35:20] Jubin, thank you so much for coming.

[1:35:22] Thanks for having me, guys.

[1:35:23] Appreciate it.

[1:35:24] Thank you for petting Archie, who's back in your lap again.

[1:35:26] Yeah.

[1:35:27] This is a great cat you have.

[1:35:28] Archie is adorable.

[1:35:29] Yeah.

[1:35:30] Check his bag before he leaves, Dan.

[1:35:31] Yeah.

[1:35:32] You'll come with me, all right, Archie?

[1:35:33] We'll build a new life together.

[1:35:34] Get away from this bustling city, countryside.

[1:35:40] So while Dan pets his cat, I've been Stuart Wellington.

[1:35:45] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:35:46] I'm Jubin Parang.

[1:35:47] Good night, everyone.

[1:35:48] Hell yeah.

[1:35:49] Woo!

[1:35:50] I don't really care about this program.

[1:36:00] You've done this show before, so you know, we basically are just going to do a bunch

[1:36:03] of scenes.

[1:36:04] Yeah.

[1:36:05] So just come up with a cool character for yourself.

[1:36:07] Oh, okay.

[1:36:08] Like a fighter.

[1:36:09] You just approach this like a swashbuckler?

[1:36:12] Yeah.

[1:36:13] Let's say, my guy does wank.

[1:36:17] Okay.

[1:36:18] My guy's very quiet, but he winks all his opinions.

[1:36:21] Okay.

[1:36:22] That's not going to translate well to this audio medium.

[1:36:24] Pretty cool.

[1:36:25] Well, it's different, though.

[1:36:26] Don't you want that?

[1:36:27] Yeah, I guess.

[1:36:28] Every podcast is the same now.

[1:36:29] Maximumfun.org.

[1:36:30] Comedy and culture.

[1:36:31] Artist owned.

[1:36:32] Listener supported.

[1:36:33] Hello, Brent.

[1:36:34] Travis.

[1:36:35] Welcome to Trends Like These.

[1:36:41] What's Trends Like These, you ask?

[1:36:43] Well, it's a podcast where we take the news trending on the internet, and we cover it

[1:36:48] in podcast form.

[1:36:49] We go beyond the headlines, beyond the memes to bring you the real story, so that when

[1:36:54] your friends bring it up, you can look real smart.

[1:36:56] We take things that need to be debunked, and we debunk them.

[1:36:59] And then we take things that need to be re-bunked, and we re-bunk them.

[1:37:03] We bring you all the details, and we give you a spin on it.

[1:37:06] Our opinions, our thoughts, and we also try to dig up some positive things to talk about,

[1:37:10] so it's not all bummers.

[1:37:11] Just a couple of real life friends talking internet trends.

[1:37:15] So join us every Thursday on Maximumfun.org, and wherever podcasts are found.

[1:37:33] Thanks.

[1:37:34] Bye.

[1:37:35] Bye.

Ep. #209 - Pay the Ghost

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