Ep. #212 - No Depo$it

[0:00] Hey everyone, it's Small Timber. Small Vember. And we watched No Deposit. What movie is this?

[0:08] It's so small it might not even exist. Did I get the name of the movie right? I think so.

[0:14] Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Check the DVD. And yes.

[0:45] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy. Woo-wee, it's Small Vember and I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:53] And I'm Elliot Caitlin being real small for Small Vember. So wait, so do you live in like a little shoebox?

[1:01] I live in a little matchbox. Oh wow, you're even smaller than I thought, Small Vember. Very tiny, I'll hop in your pocket.

[1:05] You won't know I'm there. Oh, so you can jump like a flea or something?

[1:10] Yeah, I have super bug jumping. Are you spying on me while I'm changing?

[1:14] Uh, a little bit. I can crawl up your chest hair in the middle of the night when you're sleeping.

[1:18] I think I saw a Up All Night movie where a guy was crawling around in somebody's pubes like that.

[1:26] But they were like, he was super tiny, so it was like Honey I Shrunk the Kids.

[1:30] Or The Incredible Shrinking Man. Yeah, I think that's what the movie was.

[1:35] Oh yeah, the pubes scene in Honey I Shrunk the Kids when Rick Moranis accidentally drops the kids in his pants.

[1:41] Yeah, and they have to traverse his jungle of a bush. I can only assume.

[1:49] Fighting off crabs. More like actual crabs.

[1:53] Yeah, like in the Rudyard Kipling classic The Jungle Bush.

[1:57] In which Mowgli goes through some changes.

[2:02] He gets real small and climbs around in a bush.

[2:06] Yeah, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, I've been told.

[2:10] By who? I don't know.

[2:14] So what do we do here? Your parole officer?

[2:18] I don't know. I don't think I've actually been told that.

[2:20] You see two birds in the bush, you drop that bird in your hand and you go for him.

[2:24] Because two is more than one. While he's doing that, I'm going to pick up the bird that he dropped.

[2:29] Okay, but are you just going to pick up one or is there a second bird for you to grab?

[2:33] It depends on how many he catches.

[2:37] What kind of bird is this? Why do I want it so much?

[2:41] Because you can eat it. For companionship.

[2:45] Like a pigeon. Like a wormy pigeon. Gross.

[2:49] One, pigeons are a delicacy all over the world. Two, why is it wormy? Is it dead already?

[2:53] In that case, don't bother with it. It's not the challenge you think it is.

[2:57] Put it down. That's disgusting. Where did you even get that?

[3:01] For those who can't see because you're listening to this, Dan is holding the wormy corpse of a pigeon.

[3:05] And he's just waving it around. Yeah, his name's Edgar and he's my friend.

[3:09] Oh, don't pretend it's a back scratcher. Stop doing prop work with it.

[3:13] Now it's a phone. Oh, I get it.

[3:17] Now it's a mirror. Now it's a microphone you're singing old doo-wop tunes into.

[3:21] Now you're telling it to talk to the hand, I guess.

[3:25] Well, the corpse is it anyway.

[3:29] You've got to do improv with dead things.

[3:33] That's like that old horror movie where children shouldn't do improv with dead things.

[3:37] So what's Smallvember, Dan? Well, explain what this podcast is and then explain what Smallvember is.

[3:41] Well, Smalltimber, as I meant to name it before my tongue slipped.

[3:45] Unfortunately, it's a real champing at the bit, chomping at the bit situation.

[3:49] Where pedants, we'll tell you.

[3:53] Also pronounced pedants correctly.

[3:57] Pedants will tell you it's pronounced pedants.

[4:01] They will tell you it's champing at the bit or you've got another think coming.

[4:05] But real people say chomping at the bit and you've got another thing coming because they make more sense.

[4:09] They're better.

[4:13] That makes equal sense, I would say.

[4:17] You've got another think coming. No one talks about having a thing.

[4:21] What thing do you have coming?

[4:25] A comeuppance? Another idea?

[4:29] The wonderful thing about thingers, Dan, is that thingers are wonderful things.

[4:33] A thing can be anything. That's what the word thing means.

[4:37] It means anything or a hand that just crawls around on its own or a big rock man who smokes cigars

[4:41] before Marvel decided its heroes didn't smoke cigars anymore.

[4:45] And deep down, even though he looks like a rock monster man, he's got a really...

[4:49] He's got a really good soul.

[4:53] Sure he is. He's like a good guy.

[4:57] He's still Benjamin J. Grimm, his Aunt Petunia's favorite nephew.

[5:01] The ever-loving blue-eyed thing. Or as my son calls him, the anything or the something.

[5:05] He hasn't quite wrapped his mind around the idea that the guy's just called the thing.

[5:09] But Dan, you and your ivory tower, ivy league world, maybe say small timber.

[5:13] But us on the streets, the ivy league world,

[5:17] but us on the streets, the everyday folk living their lives

[5:21] and just trying their best to get by, we say small vember.

[5:25] We say nuclear. We say library.

[5:29] We say foilage. We say washroom.

[5:33] I say washroom, I say turlet, and I say small vember.

[5:37] A turlet is half turtle, half toilet.

[5:41] It's a living.

[5:45] So small vember is what is it?

[5:49] What do we do on this podcast when we watch small vember?

[5:53] So normally we like to punch up. We like to make fun of big movies

[5:57] or at least movies that got a wide release in theaters.

[6:01] Movies were the people who made them go and live in fancy houses.

[6:05] But in small timber, we throw away our morals

[6:09] and decide to take on smaller movies, real passion projects.

[6:13] Yeah, and they're usually the best, and boy howdy.

[6:17] Guys, now this is an example

[6:21] of why we do this podcast.

[6:25] Why don't you tell the story of how we came across this movie.

[6:29] Which is called No Deposit.

[6:33] I'm going to check on that right now.

[6:37] I also can just look it up online.

[6:41] That's Dan dropping the DVD box.

[6:45] Dan's picking up a slide whistle.

[6:49] He's riding an elephant back.

[6:53] I confirm that it's called No Deposit.

[6:57] Thanks to the Radio Audio Theater fact checking session.

[7:01] So Stuart, tell us the origin of No Deposit.

[7:05] I have been accused in the past of having a suspect memory.

[7:09] I think this story is going to be probably the same

[7:13] as all the other ones, so please write in and tell me that I was wrong.

[7:17] Back in July, after one of our live shows,

[7:21] some fellows from Canada came up and

[7:25] Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas.

[7:29] In disguise?

[7:33] They were not wearing their trademark toques, drinking their Elsinore beer.

[7:37] These two guys came up and

[7:41] had some very nice things to say about the show.

[7:45] They said they were involved in the film industry.

[7:49] They also stuffed a DVD in my pants.

[7:53] I'm like, hey guys, hands off the merchandise.

[7:57] Then I rolled some dice on the floor.

[8:01] It's like a real goon show turn.

[8:05] This movie is a passion project not unlike

[8:09] one of your fateful findings, one of your The Rooms.

[8:13] They explained some other stuff that I just tuned out.

[8:17] I was riding high having just done a show with my favorite guys.

[8:21] Let's explain a little bit about it now. This is a Frank D'Angelo film.

[8:25] Frank D'Angelo may be familiar to our Canadian listeners.

[8:29] As an entrepreneur, he owns a company that has an energy drink.

[8:33] It's called S.E.R.G.E.

[8:37] It's a French Canadian energy drink.

[8:41] I don't know if it is S.E.R.G.E.

[8:45] He's a successful drink manufacturer. He had a brewery for a while which failed.

[8:49] He has a band that's named after his brewery which he sings in.

[8:53] What's the name of the band?

[8:57] I think it's Steelback.

[9:01] We don't have to get into this but it was like we were watching the movie

[9:05] and I'm like this is crazy. The guy's starring in the movie and he directs and writes it and he's terrible.

[9:09] He's just some businessman and then I'm looking him up on Wikipedia and there's the part about his sexual assault

[9:13] charge that he had to face in court and I'm like this is less fun all of a sudden.

[9:17] It does explain why every woman in the film is a harpy probably.

[9:21] That's true except his loving girlfriend or wife. No wife.

[9:25] He also hosts a talk show that he pays to air in Canada.

[9:29] What's the name of the talk show? The Being Frank Show.

[9:33] He's a guy who has money and decided he wants to make movies

[9:37] and he's made a couple now and his trademark is that he hires

[9:41] relatively big name actors to be in them.

[9:45] That's most Hollywood directors trademark is hiring big name actors.

[9:49] Usually your passion project guys who are

[9:53] totally outside the film industry, your Neil Breen's if you will, they don't have the bucks.

[9:57] But this guy is like...

[10:00] It's he like he's odd. He's not as crazy as Neil Breen. It's like if Neil Breen

[10:07] Was on meds

[10:09] Like taking his meds and had an accurate view of reality except that he still thought he was a great artist and the greatest guy

[10:15] In human history, that's Frank D'Angelo. Okay. I want to note before we get into the big you want to know what love is

[10:21] Mm-hmm. Yeah, I want to note what love is

[10:23] um

[10:25] That this the movie is totally scored by Frank D'Angelo

[10:29] Songs and that the DB the blu-ray that we were given

[10:34] Has a copy of Frank D'Angelo's album titled look into the stars

[10:39] And it's accompanied by a photo of Frank D'Angelo that looks to have been taken about 20 years earlier

[10:45] Than when this movie was made now Frank D'Angelo is a true auteur. He wrote the movie. He directed it

[10:51] He stars in it. He cast it. He gave himself a story by credit, which seems redundant when he wrote screenplay, too

[10:58] And the and just to just to point out the soundtrack that is recorded by Frank D'Angelo or I like to call him Frank

[11:06] steely D'Angelo

[11:08] provides

[11:09] poppy upbeat jazzy little

[11:12] Renditions of songs like hallelujah, which is always great in a movie and live and let die was credited at the end

[11:17] But I don't remember hearing it. Yeah, he must have disguised it really well

[11:20] I'm one of the earlier scenes

[11:23] by

[11:24] What I've always wanted is a jazzy poppy up-tempo version of hallelujah, by the way. Yeah, exactly. You're like

[11:30] Kelsey Grammer is not available to sing this I guess Frank D'Angelo is our next best

[11:36] So but there's there were no stars in the heavens or rather in Toronto

[11:40] The Toronto skies because even though it's set in Brooklyn

[11:43] It's very clearly not aside from the huge swaths of stock footage of the Manhattan skyline

[11:48] There's in the film, but here they're all these stars. There's Paul Sorvino. There's Eric Roberts

[11:54] There's Doris Roberts and I have to assume what was one of her last roles, but who's there? Is that a Baldwin?

[11:58] I see there's well, we'll get to him. There's Robert Loja playing a Holocaust survivor Michael Madsen. There's

[12:05] Daniel Margo Kidder Daniel Baldwin playing the most anti-semitic character I've seen in a film at since triumph of the will

[12:13] Yeah, there's Peter Coyote. There's all that like there's a real coyote. No

[12:18] Coyote from the Roadrunner cartoon and I wanted to say that Dominique Swain is in it

[12:22] But in the end credits, she's listed as Domique Swain

[12:25] So that's either a typo or it's just someone who looks like Dominique Swain and has a very similar name

[12:30] It must have been really awkward at the flashy red carpet for me or where Dominique Swain showed up and they're like, I'm sorry, ma'am

[12:36] You know, are you do me gay Swain then on Dominique Swain? Well, you're not in this film

[12:42] but uh, it's the story of two men one who

[12:46] Forgot fault who through hard times falls on the wrong side of the tracks and takes the wrong road and one who is the greatest

[12:53] billionaire saint who ever lived although we

[12:55] Angelo we assumed at the beginning of the movie that it was a mobster just entirely based on the way he talked and

[13:01] sleeps wearing a

[13:03] platinum watch and platinum bracelets and a huge pinky ring and gold chain and gold chains and like where I'm from New Jersey a

[13:10] Big pinky ring means you're either in the mob or you want people to think you're in the mob

[13:14] Yeah, or you're Ringo Starr visiting so the movie yeah, I mean he doesn't show up in New Jersey that often

[13:21] I really wanted to have some of this pizza. I've heard so much about

[13:26] What else do you do in New Jersey

[13:29] Pretty much it you want to go to a diner sure. Oh, you got a lot of them here on your turnpike

[13:36] You got a flip you got to pay your dues if you want to play the blues

[13:39] And what else do you pay your dues than in New Jersey? Yes, I just

[13:44] Decided to take the family down to Wildwood

[13:47] Really? Okay. I mean seems like you could afford to go somewhere much much greater than that

[13:51] You couldn't take a swing by Sandy. Okay, so that's sandy hook, but he's English

[13:55] I didn't get to be a beetle by throwing my money around

[13:58] Maybe some guys can live like there's no tomorrow John Lennon, but I can't that was really tasteless of you Ringo

[14:04] That was a friend of yours killed wait before his time. Well, if you go to laugh about it

[14:10] Oh, I'm the one who's living off of his royalties

[14:12] Ringo I never wanted to see this is a dark star indeed. Yeah

[14:20] Love you Ringo star

[14:22] Treasure, so I just wanted to go down to Oboke and and see Frank Sinatra's birth out

[14:28] Other words that start with H. So I don't have to pronounce it

[14:32] now this movie begins with

[14:36] Information about the housing crisis recited by a

[14:41] Barack Obama sound like that's up to debate

[14:44] This is a controversy that's been raging since the film started because the just because the sound like was so terrible

[14:50] I'm there's and we're given no in film evidence that except that he refers to himself as a leader

[14:55] He says he won't let it happen again. The fact is that also like

[14:58] Barack Obama's a real president who made real speeches. I don't remember him ever making that speech

[15:02] I don't know like no, it's not I don't so it's a and Barack Obama doesn't show up as a character in the film

[15:08] So you saying that filmmakers never take historical liberties with things that well world leaders, yeah, that's what I'm saying Stewart

[15:16] It's just just writing this down

[15:20] But okay, so we're given probably what five straight minutes six straight minutes

[15:24] Yeah, like stock footage of New York and just economic calamity graphs going down

[15:30] Homeless people you animated graphs going down foreclosed signs being slapped on buildings while we hear this like speech by possibly

[15:38] Barack faux Obama

[15:41] People in barrels selling apples

[15:44] Blind man with a cup full of pencils on a street corner

[15:47] Yeah, you of course stockbroker throws himself out a window and lands on a couple doing the Charleston

[15:53] They're stuffing themselves in a phone booth eyeball sitting. Yeah sitting at the flagpole

[16:03] But it's flag ball, yeah, it's a good question because

[16:08] Because like the Orange Bowl is a is a football game where they play with oranges

[16:14] very messy

[16:16] They gotta stop the plays all the time because the balls have been squeezed too hard and just exploded

[16:20] Yeah, so the movie starts with this guy

[16:24] The well, we're Angelo. We're set up to feel like this is gonna be a real indictment of the housing crisis

[16:29] Yeah, this is about people who really are having trouble. He's got a lot of big ideas in his mind

[16:33] He's tying it into real-world current events. I was expecting

[16:37] You know Steve Carell with a wacky haircut to show up and start shouting at bankers

[16:42] Christian be able to just be listening to Metallica. We drums on his desk

[16:45] Now this takes place after the housing crisis as shown by the opening and yet later

[16:50] We see Dominique Swain smoking in a bar, which has been illegal in New York since well before 2008 Stewart

[16:57] You're a barkeep. How do you explain this?

[16:59] Well, that's the thing like you can tell that the bar the bartender and I'm hoping bar owner Paul Sorvino in this movie

[17:06] That would be really sad if he didn't know. Yeah that he's like Paul Sorvino was just a bar back

[17:12] He just works the day shift because he's not ready for the prime time

[17:16] Well, the thing is that as you can see his only customers are these people so he's like I got a you know

[17:22] I got a cater to my regulars and the rules so we're introduced into the world of

[17:28] Eric Roberts who's a banker? Mm-hmm was telling that work at 550 in the morning

[17:34] It doesn't he's talking to Michael Perry from Streets of Fire

[17:37] Yeah, who is your average every man who has the hair of a man in his 30s, even though the rest of 30 year olds wig

[17:47] This and watch jeans do he's this put upon every man who dresses like he's outrage

[17:52] Oh, we're a little younger and we're all in our mid to late 30s

[17:56] Mm-hmm and has a wife and a very young child who's maybe about two years old who is an enormous like enormous, baby

[18:03] This is the biggest goddamn, baby. I've ever seen

[18:09] Those things I'm like those are bigger than my blue jeans these blue jeans have a 40 waist

[18:15] But he's a but so this he was supposed to believe he's a he's a man down on his luck with a young family

[18:20] Even though he's clearly his children should be in college by this point. I mean, that's why it's such a big, baby

[18:26] The child is actually 17, but so he is being told by Eric Roberts

[18:31] And we know it's early in the morning because Eric Roberts

[18:33] Interrupts this this appointment to call another client and the client wakes the client up because it's 555 a.m

[18:39] So maybe this is one of those banks that's open early for people who have to go to work

[18:43] I don't understand, you know, like certain doctor's offices are like that. Yeah, I don't know

[18:47] I don't know

[18:48] I mean like I can almost understand him like calling someone that early in the morning if it's really important

[18:55] maybe but I can't understand him interrupting another like meeting with a

[19:00] Like come in making the appointment that are you look at Eric Roberts and you see a guy who's clearly like a consummate professional

[19:08] Never does anything erratically

[19:10] Certainly doesn't comb his hair like a crazy person

[19:14] And loves to be up bright and early in the morning. I'm sure but he I mean this is we have to assume

[19:20] He did not go to bed

[19:22] so he calls our

[19:24] The end Frank D'Angelo the writer-director star who's in bed and tells him you have to cut he's dripping with jewels and gems

[19:31] You have to come down to with jewels and gems

[19:36] French new wave best posters DVD copies the original screenplay stills from the lobby cards

[19:42] He tells him. Oh, there's your your company is getting an eight million dollar payment. That's a lot of money

[19:47] There's these new rules. You have to come down and sign for it yourself, but you have six to seven days to do it

[19:53] That's why I'm calling you so early in the morning

[19:55] He then hangs up and then turns to his client and says you haven't met your pay

[20:00] and it's we're taking it out so i think it's a good i just wanted to do that

[20:04] call the middle of the uh... really rub it in that other people have more money

[20:07] than what i'll tell you what a power this guy so much got so much money

[20:10] he'll just stop by in a week maybe to pick up a million dollars is

[20:14] he calls this this uh...

[20:17] the frankie angeles character jimmy valenti

[20:19] he calls him

[20:21] gentleman he doesn't answer right away like he is but his wife argue about how

[20:26] tired they are it's too early they're not going to be able to argue for a

[20:28] while and then eric roberts like you-know-what i'm just gonna give another

[20:31] shot

[20:33] and it calls in the second time and it finally gets on the phone and there we

[20:37] see our director of what uh... the first shot of him is

[20:40] lying in bed with the camera pointed directly up his nostrils and also

[20:44] the first two scenes with this character he he talks to

[20:47] eric roberts on the phone

[20:49] because employee of his to remote tell him he has to go down and

[20:52] something

[20:53] our director does not open his eyes i think once the entire time

[20:57] he is sleeping through the starring role in his own film

[21:01] yeah i mean he's so into it that's what's up like he's so like kind of

[21:05] locked in and keyed in yeah and i guess it also shows that he doesn't sweat the small

[21:08] stuff he isn't going to let this ruin his sleep

[21:10] because

[21:11] here's the thing

[21:12] he dresses like a gangster he wears these big pinkie rings

[21:15] black leather jacket over black t-shirt with black pants

[21:18] his wife tells him i bought you a nice suit he goes i'm not that's not what i

[21:21] wear but a but a but

[21:23] and he's driving around

[21:24] everything about him screams mobster and i thought okay this is going to be a

[21:27] movie about a mobster who's breaking the law and succeeding

[21:31] and an ordinary joe who's trying to play by the rules and is failing to show

[21:34] that the system is rigged

[21:36] au contraire

[21:38] it turns out that he is not a mobster he is a successful businessman who's also

[21:41] the greatest man in the world but we'll get to that yes he's he's a man who

[21:44] only eats one big meal a day he says

[21:48] and he likes and it's made very clear when he meets with his

[21:51] executives in what is

[21:53] certainly not the only free room in a in all my god it's clearly like i mean

[21:57] like it might

[21:58] be his office space because it's all i mean like if it's not his products are

[22:02] all over the world yes products are all the walls it's all energy drinks on the walls

[22:05] those could be his character's products

[22:07] a lot of this movie also we should mention was shot clearly in a hotel

[22:10] lobby hotel restaurant and hotel

[22:13] banquet room and uh... and hotel it's like it's very poorly disguised

[22:18] are you talking about how the new york police department

[22:20] uh... seems to share an office with like a marketing company

[22:25] and interrogates people at what is clearly the breakfast buffet area of the hotel

[22:30] that the bank and also his wife's

[22:33] tea room that she goes to visit

[22:35] appear to be the same banquet hall in the hotel

[22:39] uh...

[22:40] everywhere looks like lobbies i mean his boardroom where this you know like

[22:45] very wealthy guy doesn't worry about money the boardroom for his company

[22:49] which is a very large building with a name that is

[22:53] i mean it's so high-tech that they literally have the name like

[22:56] drawn on in photoshop basically

[23:00] uh... his boardroom

[23:02] has like a cork board

[23:05] with printouts that say like sales force winner

[23:09] twenty fourteen

[23:11] just above on it

[23:14] it's a real mix of what we're supposed to be taking from the film of what we're

[23:17] actually taking from it

[23:18] so while frank d'angelo is is riding high except he's got to go through the

[23:22] trouble of

[23:24] the uh...

[23:25] and has to go through the trouble of

[23:28] signing for this payment of eight million dollars

[23:30] this other guy what was his name nicky

[23:33] nicky ryan nicky ryan

[23:35] ordinary joe

[23:37] he can't find work

[23:38] he can't afford his house his wife hates him

[23:41] she screams at him to get to the baby the baby loves him because he's great

[23:44] she's like many women in this movie has a nightstand covered in empty booze

[23:48] every woman except frank d'angelo's wife in this is an alcoholic shrill

[23:52] harpy except for frank d'angelo's wife

[23:55] and the

[23:57] best-selling author slash expert on hostage situations who appears on the

[24:00] news later can't seem to stop grinning while reporting on a hostage situation

[24:04] we'll get to that daniel what i want to say is about how mick how micky

[24:08] can't even afford a hot dog with soda he has to just get the hot dog

[24:12] he can't afford to pay the extra dollar for a drink four dollars dude for a hot dog and a drink

[24:17] that's fucking crazy and he says how much for the hot dog three dollars

[24:20] three dollars for a street hot dog that should be a two dollar dog only in toronto

[24:24] pretending to be new york let me just say one thing

[24:27] i recently paid ten dollars for a hot dog

[24:29] it was at an airport there's always a markup

[24:32] i was like you know what i'm used to paying you pay fifteen dollars for a hot dog at an airport

[24:36] here's why

[24:38] because i got a hamburger my son wanted a hot dog

[24:42] this hot dog arrived

[24:43] it was easily fifteen inches long

[24:46] and it was delicious

[24:47] and so i'll tell you this so you're like uh... sir i'd like to return this hamburger

[24:52] and pay the additional three dollars to get the hot dog option now you're going to refund me

[24:57] the unused portion of this hamburger and i want you to apply that credit to the hot dog

[25:01] i'll pay the rest it'll be like a buck

[25:04] so here's my tip

[25:05] for those who are interested if you're ever in the phoenix airport

[25:08] just go ahead and get a hot dog

[25:11] what's the what was the purveyor of this hot meat

[25:14] don't remember

[25:15] it's hot beef and bacon

[25:16] don't remember it was such a sweet ambrosia i couldn't hold it in my memory

[25:20] yeah yeah it's clouded the memories so anyway that was elliot kaelin's hot dog

[25:23] hot dog adventure story

[25:25] the hot dog diaries

[25:28] i wrote that in an email and sent it to david hot dog coveney

[25:34] and he reads it while walking a hot dog on a leash

[25:37] yeah yeah because his character in that show is david red shoe coveney

[25:43] you don't know that it isn't

[25:44] so dan you wanted to say something about mickey our downtrodden hero

[25:47] no all i wanted to say was like he's got a great head of hair

[25:50] oh

[25:51] his wife has no sympathy for him in this eviction process like

[25:56] she blames him she's a loser

[25:57] yeah well this is just like this is what i want to say

[26:00] everybody in mickey's life appears to blame him for his misfortune

[26:05] yeah

[26:05] now we don't know whether he deserves that there's no backstory

[26:08] and we know that at least at one point he was financially supporting his brother and his brother's

[26:12] which we find out later at first we see him as just like a loser

[26:15] his father his brother who seems to be allergic to shirts

[26:19] oh boy and if there's one guy who should be wearing a shirt with this guy

[26:23] i've never like i've like this might be a harsh indictment of

[26:27] hollywood's beauty standards but i've never seen as big a pot belly

[26:31] and i mean that was not a pot belly yeah it was a cauldron belly

[26:38] it was barrel chested and that barrel was bulging it was

[26:42] yeah botulism you could have hollowed out that barrel chest and

[26:45] put it on you because you're poor and you lost everything in the stock market crash

[26:48] casting notes say toad like okay

[26:53] now i feel like we've gone too far

[26:56] yeah the so the thing is we're looking for a we're looking for a middle-aged man

[27:01] actor for this role description uh if the if the the lead boss bad guy from super mario 2 was a

[27:07] person sort of a king hippo type okay and we're don't go too far okay he's had a long acting

[27:14] career the uh and like his wife she says you know your son's never gonna grow up to be like you

[27:20] which is like no shit he's already fully grown she's gonna leave him and not share the circus

[27:26] earnings of her giant baby baby man uh so the only place mickey can find solace is at alfie's

[27:34] paul's ravino's bar where the only other uh customers seem to be dominique swain as

[27:40] as girl who just stands in front of the jukebox as a hussy number one who she's michael madsen's

[27:46] girlfriend i guess michael madsen who's playing the part of lowlife sleazebag and daniel baldwin

[27:52] who is playing the most anti-semitic character yeah i've seen in any movies that's not about

[28:00] world war ii or about skinheads in years when you're watching one of these cash grab performances

[28:07] you're assuming like they're in and out they're just doing it for the bucks but it feels like

[28:12] daniel baldwin's like okay sure yeah what do you want me to say i'll say that for money

[28:17] call jewish people what lampshades that's insane he talks about how he says what comes between

[28:24] monday and wednesday juice day that's when they take everything from you these jews own it run in

[28:28] the bank stealing everything from us and it's like wow he throws the k-word around a bunch of

[28:33] times and it's like like i don't even like i don't even remember like i maybe it's just because

[28:37] they don't hang out with like a bunch of anti-semites and bars but i don't remember lived

[28:41] man i remember like the financial crisis being blamed specifically on like the jewish people i

[28:47] mean i'm sure i'm sure anti-semites did yeah there were a lot of jewish people involved in those

[28:51] companies i mean lehman brothers is a jewish name you know yeah i mean everyone's anti-semitic

[28:57] people blamed the delay of the video game no man's sky on the jewish people all right but yeah

[29:02] but that was because uh because the domanski wits family suited them for a piece of the action but

[29:08] it's it comes out of nowhere and it's like wait i thought this movie was going to be about the

[29:12] financial crisis i didn't know it was going to be about racism yeah and daniel baldwin really

[29:17] throws himself into this anti-semitic part it's a it's very weird and he looks enough like alec

[29:22] baldwin that if you kind of squint your eyes a little bit you could imagine alex baldwin saying

[29:26] yeah and like i don't think the believer had this much open anti-semitism in it i'd also like to

[29:32] point out that michael madsen and daniel baldwin are wearing the same shirts and two successive

[29:36] scenes that are supposed to take place on different days yeah that's why they're super low lives dude

[29:41] yeah they only have two shirts you know why because the jews took the other one early brown

[29:45] tailors won't the charge them too much for shirts yeah uh so yeah so also that scene featured

[29:52] dominique swain uh dominique swain playing the jukebox we'd seen her earlier in a scene

[29:57] where she had super weird interaction

[30:00] throwing herself at Jimmy Valenti at one point.

[30:03] And so Jimmy Valenti is driving down the street.

[30:05] He gets out and he accidentally bumps into Mickey

[30:08] and knocks him down.

[30:09] Once again, their paths cross.

[30:10] Yeah, it's like a Dickens novel.

[30:12] And so he helps him up.

[30:13] Hey man, you okay?

[30:15] You look like you got the weight of the world

[30:16] on your shoulders.

[30:17] All right, we'll be good.

[30:18] Thus establishing he cares about everybody he sees.

[30:22] He's such a sweet man.

[30:23] He's got such an open heart.

[30:24] That and like in his business meeting,

[30:29] he's like very keen on telling the people like,

[30:32] whatever charity we give to,

[30:33] I want to make sure that the money goes

[30:34] to the actual people and not the administrative cost.

[30:36] 80 to 90% and the guy who's handling the charity

[30:39] just keeps saying, I know that's how you roll, Jimmy.

[30:41] So that's yeah, that's the thing, I took care of it.

[30:44] I know how you roll.

[30:45] So, and it is like a deal.

[30:46] He's trying that out.

[30:47] It's like an older white man.

[30:49] I'm gonna try and be a little hipper

[30:52] and maybe Jimmy will recognize that.

[30:54] I like this new thing the kids are saying, how you roll.

[30:57] Because it's like, that's, you know what?

[30:59] I like a good roll.

[31:01] Sometimes, let me just be honest.

[31:03] True confessions here.

[31:04] Okay, father, I've sinned.

[31:05] When I go to the restaurant, sometimes,

[31:07] what I'm really looking forward to is the roll.

[31:10] Not even the main course or the dessert.

[31:12] It's crazy, I know, but that's just how I roll.

[31:15] I'm gonna use it in the meeting tomorrow.

[31:16] Okay, honey?

[31:17] And his wife is like, go to bed.

[31:19] It's three in the morning.

[31:20] Please stop.

[31:21] Stop talking about rolls.

[31:23] Every night with the roll.

[31:24] This will be the one time in the movie

[31:26] that a woman is justifiably angry at the man.

[31:29] Let me go to bed.

[31:30] Stop talking about rolls.

[31:32] So he's just a sweetheart.

[31:33] He's just a honey pie.

[31:34] And long story short, they meet at their,

[31:39] Mickey stays with his brother

[31:41] and his brother's wife says,

[31:43] I want that loser out of my fucking house.

[31:44] He's a fucking loser.

[31:45] You're a fucking loser.

[31:46] He's a piece of shit.

[31:47] This is in a great scene in a bedroom

[31:49] where that's where we're introduced to the idea

[31:51] that this movie's like, these characters

[31:53] are just not gonna wear very many clothes.

[31:56] Get used to it, buddy.

[31:57] The brother, who's an older gentleman,

[31:58] is just sitting there in almost no clothes.

[32:01] And so the next day he says, you gotta leave.

[32:03] She doesn't want you here.

[32:04] And Mickey's like, I supported you for two years.

[32:06] Now you're throwing me out.

[32:08] And so he's got no choice.

[32:10] The only people who care about him

[32:12] are Michael Madsen and Daniel Baldwin.

[32:15] Why did they, why was the brother character

[32:17] shirtless in that scene?

[32:19] This is the morning.

[32:21] I mean, he couldn't just toss one on.

[32:22] I mean, if you're gonna be throwing somebody out,

[32:24] you're gonna have that kind of hard conversation.

[32:26] You don't wanna throw something at her.

[32:28] Sometimes when I will go over to your house,

[32:29] you're wandering around in your underwear.

[32:31] Yeah, but that's, I guess that's the same thing.

[32:32] It's a power play.

[32:34] Like, you wanna show off.

[32:35] You wanna be like, who's the big guy around here?

[32:38] It's an intimidation technique.

[32:39] Like, Lyndon Johnson would call people

[32:41] into the bathroom with him.

[32:42] You'd think that would put him in the shameful position.

[32:45] No, no, no, he's making you feel uncomfortable.

[32:48] So what his brother Joe is saying is,

[32:51] hey, this is me.

[32:54] This is me naked to the world.

[32:55] And you know what?

[32:56] That should make me vulnerable,

[32:58] but it makes you uncomfortable.

[32:59] I'm comfortable with my body, all of it.

[33:01] You're the one who's not comfortable with it.

[33:03] Shame on you, get out of my house

[33:05] because my wife told me you have to leave.

[33:08] But his sister-in-law is another person

[33:10] calling Mickey a loser.

[33:11] We also get Mickey's mom calling him a loser.

[33:13] He goes to a bingo parlor where his mom,

[33:16] Margo Kidder, is playing bingo with Doris Roberts.

[33:19] And he asked for her for help and she refuses.

[33:22] Doris Roberts has a heartbreaking monologue

[33:24] about how her son died of heroin,

[33:26] died of suicide after a heroin addiction.

[33:28] Which he repeats twice.

[33:29] Once with Margo Kidder out of the room

[33:31] and once with her back in the room.

[33:33] And so he's got nowhere to turn

[33:35] except these two anti-Semites.

[33:37] He joins their group.

[33:38] He doesn't get his head totally shaved,

[33:40] but he gets a must cut.

[33:41] It's really great.

[33:42] It's this great transformative moment

[33:43] where we are greeted to flashbacks

[33:46] to scenes from earlier in the movie.

[33:48] Oh, yeah, over and over.

[33:49] Pow, pow, pow, pow.

[33:50] I forgot about that.

[33:50] The devil who met Pawnbroker.

[33:52] The devil knows, when the devil,

[33:55] what's the, Devil Knows You're Dead?

[33:56] What was that movie?

[33:57] Before the Devil Knows You're Dead.

[33:58] Before the Devil Knows You're Dead style

[33:59] where it's just like, pop, pop,

[34:00] shots from the past, shots from the past.

[34:02] But it's like, they're all like these gauzy,

[34:05] like it's like a 19, early 90s R&B music video.

[34:09] Well, because that's what the music is when it comes in.

[34:12] Then there's some kind of love song, right?

[34:14] Yeah, I mean, most of the music.

[34:15] The love song from No Deposit.

[34:17] The love theme from No Deposit.

[34:18] It sounds like the kind of love song

[34:21] you would hear in an 80s action movie

[34:23] that's clearly like, kind of from the 50s or 60s.

[34:26] And you're like, I guess cool people listen to this

[34:28] when they're like about to hook up.

[34:30] But he's getting his head shaved

[34:31] and a tattoo put on his neck.

[34:32] Yeah, they call a tattoo artist in for some reason.

[34:35] Into the bar.

[34:36] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[34:38] That's gotta be against health code.

[34:39] I would have to assume so.

[34:40] I mean, there's blood coming out of his body

[34:42] in a place that people are ingesting drinks.

[34:44] So Paul Cervino, he already lets people smoke in there.

[34:46] He doesn't care about the rules.

[34:47] He doesn't care.

[34:47] That's the thing, he's gotta keep his regulars happy.

[34:50] Yeah, and so they instantly go,

[34:54] he instantly goes from just a normal guy down on his luck

[34:56] to a skinhead who is robbing a bank

[34:58] with Michael Madsen and Daniel Balton.

[34:59] That bank, full of Jewish people.

[35:01] Yep.

[35:02] Very Jewish.

[35:03] Very clearly in like the conference center

[35:07] of a large or to mid-sized hotel.

[35:09] Ironically, this movie that was trying

[35:11] to make a stance against antisemitism

[35:13] was doing something antisemitic itself

[35:15] by taking up a ballroom

[35:16] that should have had a bar mitzvah in it.

[35:19] Some unlucky Toronto Jewish boy

[35:22] had to have his bar mitzvah at the synagogue

[35:24] because they couldn't rent the event space

[35:27] at the local Hilton Honors Hotel, I'm guessing.

[35:31] I'm very mixed up about what the movie's feelings

[35:34] about the Jewish people are.

[35:37] Because they're only shown in banks?

[35:41] Yeah, I mean, I think that we're supposed

[35:42] to not sympathize with the antisemitic talk,

[35:46] but at the same time,

[35:47] it's not really refuted particularly strongly either.

[35:51] Well, I feel like the movie doesn't really need

[35:52] to refute that.

[35:53] I guess.

[35:54] I don't think the movie needs to show

[35:55] a Jewish person being great so that the audience

[35:57] is like, oh, Daniel Baldwin was wrong about that.

[36:01] Jews aren't evil.

[36:02] Our hero doesn't even turn around.

[36:03] He's just like, at the end of the movie,

[36:05] he's just like, I wanna go home.

[36:07] I don't, you know, it's wrong to shoot people.

[36:09] You're a moron.

[36:10] Yeah.

[36:11] It is wrong, and you disagree with the message

[36:12] it's wrong to shoot people?

[36:13] Well, I don't think that it's particularly

[36:16] more wrong to shoot one type of person

[36:18] than another type of person.

[36:19] Oh, all lives matter.

[36:20] Heard it here first.

[36:21] Wow.

[36:22] Wow, Dan.

[36:23] Wow.

[36:24] Jesus, dude.

[36:24] Oh my God.

[36:25] Just rewind the tape.

[36:26] You know what?

[36:27] Delete it.

[36:28] Yeah.

[36:29] You've shown your true colors.

[36:29] All right.

[36:30] So this is where the confluence of events

[36:32] leads us to the ultimate showdown,

[36:35] because Jimmy Valenti has shown up to the bank

[36:38] to pick up his $8 million.

[36:39] And just to sign the papers,

[36:42] because apparently that's a thing you have to do now.

[36:43] Eric Roberts comes out from behind the desk.

[36:45] Happy as a clam.

[36:46] He is jittery as hell.

[36:48] And he is walking like a man with one and a half legs.

[36:52] And, that was that CBS sitcom, right?

[36:55] One and a half legs?

[36:56] Yeah.

[36:57] And, but that's when our villains walk in,

[37:01] shoot a security guard in the head instantly.

[37:03] Immediately.

[37:04] And also.

[37:05] And actually, what it looks like,

[37:06] a pretty decent use of special effects.

[37:08] Yeah, that was a pretty good special effects.

[37:09] They also wrap a giant length of chain around the doors,

[37:14] which we later see,

[37:16] does not prevent people from opening the door.

[37:18] When the door is open from the outside,

[37:20] later the chain falls off harmlessly.

[37:21] It sloughs off like a snake skin.

[37:23] Now, we didn't mention that there's also two policemen,

[37:26] who I think are both named Tony,

[37:28] who are called in by.

[37:31] Introduced for no particular reason.

[37:32] Called in by police chief, Peter Coyote,

[37:34] who tells them in his Ken Burns tones,

[37:37] that he knows they've been working really hard.

[37:40] He needs them to work another shift.

[37:41] Even though they're owed a day off,

[37:43] they've been working on the Fox case for days,

[37:47] but the media's howling down his throat,

[37:48] and there's so much stuff going on in the city,

[37:50] that he needs them to work two more days.

[37:52] This is in his office in the police station,

[37:54] that as Stuart mentioned,

[37:55] also has a business group of some kind sharing the office.

[37:58] And, there's a poster in the hallway

[37:59] that seems to be either an ad,

[38:01] or an employee of the month,

[38:02] or something like that.

[38:03] And, judging by their accents,

[38:04] these two detectives just recently transferred

[38:07] from Saskatchewan.

[38:08] Oh, everyone in the movie,

[38:10] except for the name stars,

[38:12] is very much Brooklyn by way of Canada.

[38:14] Yeah, yeah.

[38:15] And, it's...

[38:15] They're like, what's the matter, eh?

[38:18] Yeah, I was walking a boot here.

[38:22] Anyway, but that's besides the point.

[38:24] So, they're on, these guys take hostages at the bank.

[38:27] They especially don't like

[38:28] that the Jewish people are there.

[38:29] But then, the anti-Semitic stuff

[38:31] kind of takes a back seat.

[38:32] It doesn't really appear that much.

[38:35] Well, first, the criminals knock Eric Roberts down

[38:38] and kick him a bunch.

[38:39] And, each time they hit him,

[38:41] they use Foley effects of like eggs breaking.

[38:43] It's the craziest thing I've seen in a real movie.

[38:46] It's like he's got empty,

[38:48] like he took a bunch of eggs,

[38:51] and pulled the yolk out without breaking the shell,

[38:54] and then stuffed it all in his pants.

[38:56] So, that each kick is like crunch, crunch, and...

[39:01] I mean, there was still a little Jewish stuff, though,

[39:03] when our hero, the Frank D'Angelo, right?

[39:09] That's his name?

[39:10] Yeah, Jimmy Belanti, yeah.

[39:12] He gets shot by one of the guys

[39:16] when he's trying to defend a young girl,

[39:18] and the granddaughter, I'm assuming,

[39:21] or possibly daughter,

[39:22] I don't know what kind of logic this movie is,

[39:24] of Robert Loggia,

[39:25] of Robert Loggia, who is playing a Holocaust survivor.

[39:28] But, Mickey's like, what?

[39:30] He's not a Jew?

[39:34] We're here to shoot Jewish people.

[39:35] That's right, I forgot about that.

[39:37] So, yeah, Robert Loggia, that's right,

[39:39] he goes, I've seen the devil.

[39:40] You're nothing.

[39:41] And, he rolls up his sleeve.

[39:42] He's got numbers tattooed on his arm.

[39:44] He's a survivor.

[39:45] Now, I don't know if it's better or worse

[39:48] that he does not attempt to do

[39:49] any sort of Eastern European accent.

[39:52] He's apparently a Holocaust...

[39:54] Maybe he came over as a kid or a teenager,

[39:56] and he worked really hard to get his accent away.

[39:59] If he was so traumatized...

[40:00] by his time in the camps, but this...

[40:02] I don't know, he seems pretty comfortable with himself

[40:05] and kind of self-assured.

[40:07] Like, I don't feel like he would try and hide anything.

[40:10] I guess, well, I mean, there's, I don't know.

[40:10] There's no obfuscation with Robert Loge's performance.

[40:12] I mean, but the confidence may come from the fact

[40:14] that he's like, I recreated myself in my life

[40:16] and I didn't let that tragedy define me.

[40:18] Because if I've learned anything

[40:19] from meeting Holocaust survivors,

[40:22] it's that, one, the Holocaust was terrible,

[40:24] and two, either, I mean, there's,

[40:28] this is gonna sound terrible.

[40:29] Really, there's two types.

[40:30] Those who never want to talk about

[40:31] and those who want to talk about nothing else.

[40:33] And there's two, there are people who are shattered by it,

[40:37] and then there are survivors who kind of seem

[40:39] to take confidence in a way from it,

[40:40] that like, I survived the worst possible thing

[40:44] that could ever happen to a person,

[40:46] and that didn't destroy me, so I can handle anything.

[40:49] And so, like, he's the second type, I guess,

[40:51] in that he's like, you know what?

[40:53] I'm not gonna let this bank robbery get to me

[40:56] because I stared down Hitler.

[40:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[40:58] Michael Madsen and one of the Baldwins

[41:01] are not gonna put me down.

[41:03] And they punch him, and he goes,

[41:04] you punched like a girl.

[41:05] And later, he gets the best line in the movie.

[41:08] After everything's been taken care of, he goes,

[41:12] oh, so Frank D'Angelo gets shot.

[41:14] He recognizes that, hey, this is the guy

[41:15] I picked up off the sidewalk before.

[41:18] And, no, no, and the guy goes, hey, he helped me.

[41:21] I'm gonna take him in another room.

[41:22] They have a little heart-to-heart.

[41:23] Frank D'Angelo says, I guess, the moral of the movie.

[41:25] And that's the moment.

[41:26] It's nice to be great, but it's great to be nice.

[41:27] But that's the moment when the other bank robbers

[41:29] are like, oh, yeah, our possibly susceptible

[41:32] to coercion friend.

[41:33] We are able to turn to our cause in under a day.

[41:37] Yeah, let's let him go in the other room

[41:39] with that incredibly handsome and charismatic wounded man.

[41:42] I mean, the handsome part.

[41:44] Super tall and wealthy.

[41:46] But I also just wonder what they're doing out there.

[41:48] Just like, all right, well, you go in the back for a while.

[41:50] We'll just keep standing here with a gun.

[41:52] Especially because they don't seem to want money.

[41:53] But then, by this point, the police

[41:55] are surrounding the bank.

[41:56] There's a massive crowd forming between the bank

[42:00] and the expansive tree line of downtown Brooklyn.

[42:04] Downtown Brooklyn really seems to have

[42:06] a lot of wooded highway access.

[42:08] It was interesting enough that it was in that crowd scene

[42:11] that I finally was like, oh, there's a non-white person

[42:14] in Brooklyn, apparently.

[42:16] Because the first people of color showed up.

[42:19] And meanwhile, we're getting a lot of news reports

[42:22] from, what was the guy's name?

[42:23] Frank Ambrosia, I think it was.

[42:26] Frank Ambrosio.

[42:27] Ambrosio.

[42:29] And his report on the scene.

[42:30] It's Frank Ambrosia to his friends.

[42:32] Yeah, and his report on the scene,

[42:34] which his name, I think, was Fred Lebko.

[42:37] Matthew Lesko.

[42:38] And this is a movie where we see everything that's happening.

[42:41] We know the backstory of these characters.

[42:43] It cuts to a news break, and we watch for a while,

[42:46] for like three minutes, a reporter explain

[42:48] that he doesn't really know what's going on

[42:49] with the situation.

[42:50] And we don't even see the reporter's face.

[42:51] Which is realistic, but we don't need to see that

[42:53] in a movie.

[42:54] We're watching the anchor just listening to it,

[42:56] and it's like, did they want the audience to jump in

[42:58] and fill in the reporter on what's going on?

[43:00] Yeah, meanwhile, all of the people in Mickey's life

[43:05] are watching this tragedy unfold on television.

[43:08] His wife sees it at the fancy tea room

[43:10] where she's meeting her friend.

[43:11] His mom.

[43:12] Not Mickey's wife.

[43:13] Mickey's wife is at the circus with the giant baby.

[43:15] Mickey's wife is not interested.

[43:16] No, Frank's wife sees it.

[43:18] Mickey's mom sees it.

[43:20] Mickey's brother sees it, which finally gives him

[43:22] the strength to stand up to his wife

[43:24] in the best scene in the movie.

[43:26] Yeah, he delivers the best line.

[43:27] I've said it earlier, Robert,

[43:28] I've said the best line, I was wrong.

[43:30] Joe has the best line.

[43:31] His wife goes, your loser brother's robbing a bank.

[43:35] And she already said like,

[43:36] gay, go get me some more fucking vodka.

[43:38] If you can handle that, you loser.

[43:40] This is how she talks to him all the time.

[43:42] And he goes, what?

[43:43] My brother is in trouble robbing a bank?

[43:45] And Stuart, do you want to deliver his classic line?

[43:48] I think Jan wants to deliver it.

[43:49] Jan, I think.

[43:50] I don't know if I remember it exactly,

[43:51] but it was something like,

[43:52] I sold out my brother for pussy.

[43:55] And you're a cunt.

[43:57] That's exploding what he says.

[43:59] After he fucking spikes the vodka bottle on the ground,

[44:02] she's like, hey, can you clean that up?

[44:04] You might want to do an explicit language,

[44:07] a special warning on this.

[44:08] Because that word, the C word,

[44:10] is one I don't like to say.

[44:11] But it's hilarious.

[44:13] It escalates the movie suddenly to like,

[44:16] it goes from like 60 to 100.

[44:18] You're like, wait, what did he just say?

[44:20] It would be terrible if some plucky listener

[44:23] took an audio clip of Dan saying that.

[44:25] I don't know, turned it into something, like a ringtone.

[44:28] Oh boy.

[44:30] And so the next time we see Joe,

[44:32] he's talking to a policeman again

[44:33] in the police station slash hotel restaurant.

[44:36] And he's establishing what we already know,

[44:39] that his brother lost everything.

[44:40] He lost his house.

[44:41] And the cop is like, wait, he lost his house?

[44:43] He lost his wife, his baby, his house.

[44:46] So they took his house away.

[44:47] He lost his house, his house.

[44:49] He lost it.

[44:51] Wait, where he lives with his family?

[44:54] It's like, the phrase he lost his house

[44:57] is spoken so many times.

[44:58] But back to the bank robbery.

[45:00] So to make a long story short.

[45:02] But that conversation they're having

[45:04] in that breakfast nook, in that booth that they're sharing,

[45:06] that's apparently the hot box in the police department.

[45:11] That scene clearly shows this detective

[45:14] sitting down with the brother and he's like,

[45:16] oh wow, your brother's a bad guy.

[45:17] And then by the end of it, he's like, he lost his house?

[45:20] No, he's clearly a hero.

[45:24] Yeah, he turns around.

[45:25] Meanwhile, and I think that same policeman

[45:26] is also supposed to be at the bank at the exact same time.

[45:29] The SWAT team is there.

[45:30] They're next door to each other.

[45:32] Oh, the bank and the police station, makes sense.

[45:33] You want to put the bank somewhere safe.

[45:34] And the tea room is next door to that.

[45:36] New York's really a small town.

[45:37] And Alfie's Bar is right next to it.

[45:39] Just because Brooklyn.

[45:40] That's a neighborhood story.

[45:41] Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[45:42] What neighborhood of Brooklyn was this, by the way?

[45:47] You're gonna say Borough Park, aren't you?

[45:48] It's, which doesn't exist.

[45:51] Yeah.

[45:55] Dragonwick.

[45:56] Yeah.

[45:57] So, make a long story short about the heist.

[46:00] Because the heist, the hostage situation

[46:02] is not actually that interesting.

[46:03] Well, it's pretty funny.

[46:04] But shooting happens.

[46:08] Mickey gets shot.

[46:09] Frank has already been shot through the shoulder.

[46:11] A guy who turns out to be-

[46:13] Frank D'Angelo playing Jimmy Villain.

[46:14] Oh, sorry, Jimmy is, yeah.

[46:16] It's so hard to tell them apart.

[46:17] He's already established Bonafides.

[46:19] Where one begins and one ends.

[46:21] Because Bonafides is a great man.

[46:22] Because Mickey says, hey, let him go.

[46:24] You can go.

[46:25] And he goes, I could go,

[46:27] but my balls wouldn't come along for the ride

[46:29] or something like that.

[46:30] He wouldn't be a man if he walked out of that situation.

[46:32] And so, at the last moment,

[46:34] even though he's been shot in the shoulder,

[46:36] he uses that hand to pick up a gun

[46:38] and shoot the two robbers after they've already shot Mickey.

[46:42] Yeah, there's a plainclothes cop there

[46:43] that tries to intercede.

[46:44] And Frank D'Angelo's character pulls him down

[46:48] so that he doesn't get shot

[46:49] and then kills both bank robbers.

[46:51] Now, not since the taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3,

[46:53] my favorite movie,

[46:54] has there been a less effective undercover cop.

[46:56] Just jumps out, I'm a cop,

[46:58] and then immediately gets either shot

[46:59] or pulled to the ground.

[47:02] Jimmy Valenti slash Frank D'Angelo is a saint, is a hero.

[47:05] Robert Logea delivers what I thought was the first best line

[47:08] until I remember Joe's argument with his wife.

[47:10] The second best line of the movie,

[47:11] which is, bring a stretcher for this good man.

[47:16] Get garbage bags for these pieces of shit.

[47:18] And the hospital beds are wheeled out, and then-

[47:24] Everyone seems to have forgotten

[47:26] that Mickey was part of the hostage situation

[47:28] by this time, too.

[47:29] Because they're like-

[47:30] That's how they pitch it, though.

[47:31] Like, they say, literally,

[47:33] they're like, these two guys held us hostage.

[47:36] And I'm like, what do you mean, these two guys?

[47:38] There was a third man.

[47:40] The third man, yes, there's a third score right here.

[47:43] Another favorite of mine.

[47:46] Who knows, because the more important thing

[47:47] is that these guys who both have been shot,

[47:50] they both need medical attention.

[47:51] Their stretchers are allowed to sit

[47:53] right outside the entrance of the bank

[47:54] while every character they know

[47:55] rushes through the police line and has a moment with them.

[47:59] They allow Paul Servino, his bartender,

[48:03] to come up and have a little bedside moment with them.

[48:05] And also, not his mom, but his mom's friend

[48:06] from the bingo parlor runs up to have a moment with him

[48:09] and tell her she loves him.

[48:11] Margot Kidder was in some bushes somewhere.

[48:12] She couldn't be bothered.

[48:14] Paul Servino sees the news story

[48:17] with those three guys robbing the bank.

[48:19] He was just kidding, Margot Kidder.

[48:20] Yeah, oh, sorry.

[48:21] So Paul Servino sees this news story

[48:23] of these three guys having robbed the bank

[48:25] and he goes, you can see that look on his face

[48:28] where he's like, oh shit, they're my only customers.

[48:31] I've been a curry favor with the only guy left.

[48:33] The only survivor.

[48:34] Otherwise, it's just me and Dominique Swain.

[48:36] I'm sorry, Domique Swain.

[48:37] Yep, who's playing some weird song in the jukebox

[48:41] and dancing along.

[48:41] Now, also, this is all while Frank D'Angelo's cover

[48:44] of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah is playing.

[48:47] And a parade of Orthodox Jews walk out of the bank,

[48:50] I assume thanking God that a man

[48:52] like Jimmy Valenti was created.

[48:55] And it's thanks to Watchmen that this is the second worst

[48:58] use of that song in a movie.

[49:00] And after that, that's pretty much it.

[49:06] There's no coda or anything.

[49:09] Oh, I remember what it was.

[49:12] Jimmy asks, he's being wheeled out and tells Eric Roberts

[49:14] to pay off, that he's gonna pay off Mickey's house.

[49:19] And it's just like, well, that's a nice gesture,

[49:21] but Mickey's clearly going to jail for a very long time.

[49:25] I don't know why.

[49:25] He suggested that he'll also pay for his legal fees.

[49:29] But that's not gonna help the fact

[49:31] that he still doesn't have a job.

[49:33] He still is pretty easily convinced into doing bad things.

[49:38] Like he has a neck tattoo now, like that doesn't go away.

[49:40] That's permanent, dude.

[49:41] I mean, you can get those removed.

[49:42] I assume Jimmy's gonna pay that bill also.

[49:45] He's gonna pay to get his neck tattoo removed?

[49:46] He's gonna adopt him.

[49:48] Now he's his ward.

[49:49] At that point, he's just gonna be,

[49:51] we already think that Jimmy has like a driver slash gopher

[49:53] who's obsessed with keeping Jimmy's car clean.

[49:55] And when he goes up to him, he says,

[49:58] I apologize, I didn't have a chance to clean the car.

[50:00] I expected him to just pull out his sword and commit seppuku right there in front of me.

[50:04] He is so apologetic because...

[50:06] Well, and he is wearing a ponytail, so you assume that he's way into Highlander, the movie.

[50:12] You have to assume, like, Jimmy Valenti is such a living saint.

[50:16] People love him so much that when they fail him, even in the slightest,

[50:19] it hurts them more than it hurts him.

[50:21] Yeah, all their misdeeds are reflected upon them, like the penance stare.

[50:24] Yeah, like Ghost Rider.

[50:26] So when he's told that he has to go sign for this loan,

[50:30] not loan, this payment, and he goes to his office,

[50:34] they go, oh yeah, these new rules, payroll should have dealt with it, but they didn't.

[50:38] He goes, hey, everyone makes mistakes, don't yell at payroll about it, don't make them feel bad.

[50:43] We'll just send out a memo saying these are the rules now.

[50:45] Tell them about my charity.

[50:47] So he's just the sweetest boss in the world.

[50:50] And the moral of the story is that Frank D'Angelo, by extension, must be a great man.

[50:54] The moral of the story is you should go out and watch this movie.

[50:56] Just watch it.

[50:57] If you want to watch this crazy passion project that is a love letter to himself.

[51:02] And the movie ends with a bunch of slow-mo black-and-white sequence shots

[51:08] of all the characters, all the big stars that we've seen in the movie.

[51:11] He may have gone out of his way to find the least flattering picture of almost all of them.

[51:15] Eric Roberts' is him, like, crying with blood dripping out of his nose.

[51:20] He's crawling around on the floor mourning the loss of his testicles.

[51:26] Whereas the picture of Frank D'Angelo in there is beatific, almost.

[51:30] Like, Peter Paul Rubens painted this shit.

[51:34] Yeah, so we should do our final judgments about this movie, whether it's a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie we kind of like.

[51:40] Is there any doubt?

[51:41] Stu, I feel like you.

[51:43] This is a good, great movie.

[51:45] This is a movie where the financier of the movie, the writer, director, star, not only plays this awesome businessman,

[51:53] but he also, I think, gets approached while on a stretcher having been shot by the chief of police,

[51:58] who basically is like, you want the key to the city, and you can be chief of police if you want,

[52:03] because you're the best shot I've ever seen.

[52:06] Yeah, it's great.

[52:07] And he acts like a gangster, dresses like a gangster.

[52:10] No, turns out, he's the best of us.

[52:13] You start watching this movie, and you're like, OK, this is pretty slow, and it takes a little bit of time before it starts cooking.

[52:18] Oh, boy, that's going to be sweet.

[52:20] That first five minutes of info dump.

[52:22] That's something that we didn't mention, is that the movie takes a really long time to set up everything before the hostage situation,

[52:29] and the hostage situation starts and is resolved in half an hour.

[52:33] Oh, boy, when that pot gets boiling, yum, yum, yum.

[52:36] And this is an 80-minute movie, right?

[52:38] That's the other thing we should mention.

[52:39] Go watch this movie.

[52:41] You have 80 minutes, I'm sure.

[52:43] Block out an hour and a half for it, and then spend the last 10 minutes masturbating in joy that such a thing exists as this weird vanity project.

[52:52] Yeah, no, I think this is a good, bad movie.

[52:54] The one thing that held me back a little bit is the weird anti-Semitism of the movie.

[53:00] It feels like an off note in the same way that there are a lot of, I feel like, good, bad, or trashy movies out there that throw in a rape scene,

[53:08] and you're like, why is this in here?

[53:10] Why did this ruin the movie?

[53:11] But for the most part, it's not enough to be like...

[53:15] I find it's just another weirdo thread in the crazy quilt that is this film.

[53:21] And it's okay. I'm saying this. I'm Jewish. It's okay for you to watch this movie.

[53:24] Oh, wow, yeah, yeah.

[53:25] I'm giving you...

[53:26] He's the gatekeeper here, Dan.

[53:27] Anyone who's not Jewish, I'm giving you official permission.

[53:31] Okay.

[53:32] So, No Deposit.

[53:36] You're looking at the DVD again to make sure that was the right name.

[53:39] Yeah, it's hard to remember because it has nothing to do with this.

[53:41] What's the name of the soundtrack? The soundtrack has a different name than the movie.

[53:44] Look to the Stars or something?

[53:46] Look into the Stars.

[53:47] Look into the Stars.

[53:48] Which is a good way to go blind.

[53:50] Yeah, but it's also like, if you look at the cover of the box, it's just covered in stars.

[53:58] Mugs, shirts, stickers, patches, tanks, and more are yours for the purchasing at MaxFunStore.com.

[54:05] Hey, you already love the podcasts, so why not take this to the next level

[54:09] and outfit your home and bod with our merch.

[54:12] MaxFunStore.com.

[54:14] Because if you have to wear a shirt, it should be one of ours.

[54:20] Next up, we do a few...

[54:24] Have you seen this show before?

[54:27] Ads.

[54:28] You know, I didn't bring it up in August, even though I should have,

[54:31] but August marked the nine-year anniversary of this stupid podcast.

[54:36] Yikes.

[54:37] I wasn't here for all that time, but I'm still going to take credit for it.

[54:40] You were there for...

[54:41] Most of it.

[54:42] Like eight and a half years.

[54:43] Yeah.

[54:44] Some of it.

[54:45] That's crazy.

[54:47] You know, that's a popular anniversary to celebrate, nine years.

[54:50] Yeah.

[54:51] We should get each other anniversary gifts.

[54:53] That would be nice.

[54:54] We've been doing this podcast longer than either Stuart or I have been married.

[54:57] Yeah.

[54:58] We've been doing this podcast longer than...

[55:01] Or Dan at this point.

[55:02] Wait, no, that's not true.

[55:04] It's not actually true.

[55:06] We will reach that point.

[55:09] Yeah.

[55:10] But it's longer than, what, Barack Obama's president?

[55:14] That's true.

[55:15] Yeah, yeah.

[55:16] It was a different nation when we started this.

[55:18] People needed to laugh.

[55:20] They needed to laugh.

[55:22] That's a crazy amount of time to be doing this.

[55:25] What year was that?

[55:26] 2007 was when a little movie called Stealth graced my DVD player in the bedroom in the apartment I shared with two other people.

[55:37] And I stuffed a single rock band microphone in a homemade shock absorber that I made from putting some rubber bands.

[55:44] Oh, that's weird because everyone has commented that those early episodes had amazing sound quality.

[55:48] They sound great.

[55:49] That's why I revisit them so often.

[55:51] Yeah.

[55:52] Don't listen to the early episodes, guys.

[55:54] So many memories.

[55:55] Asshole.

[55:56] That's a long time.

[55:57] This is the longest I've done almost anything except live.

[56:02] Okay, now that I've juiced us up, what's the next stage of this game?

[56:06] Ads.

[56:07] We've got to pay the piper.

[56:10] Nine years don't come cheap.

[56:12] Yeah.

[56:13] The Flop House is supported by Squarespace, the simplest way to create a compelling website.

[56:19] From the strange to the downright bizarre, great stories define us.

[56:22] You should tell yours.

[56:23] With simple tools and templates, Squarespace helps you capture your story with a captivating website.

[56:29] Now, Dan, I've got a question about Squarespace.

[56:31] Okay.

[56:32] I've got an idea for a website.

[56:34] I kind of mentioned it earlier.

[56:36] It's called www.Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlets.org.

[56:40] And it's these new crazy characters.

[56:43] They're toilets.

[56:44] They're also teenagers who are mutants and they're ninjas.

[56:47] And I figured, you know what?

[56:50] Don't bother with TV.

[56:52] TV is broken thanks to people are cutting cords left and right, and they're streaming stuff now.

[56:58] They shouldn't cut those cords.

[56:59] I mean, like the cords aren't the problem.

[57:01] You've got to cut the cord once the baby is born.

[57:03] You can't just leave it attached.

[57:05] Yeah, that's crazy.

[57:06] That's nuts.

[57:07] You want to wait until the last jolts of blood are pumped through that cord because that's the super strength blood.

[57:13] Then you cut the shit out of that thing.

[57:15] You put on that Freddy glove and you go, it's a girl, bitch.

[57:20] Welcome to the world, bitch.

[57:22] I could say that as my kid.

[57:24] Actually, that makes it even worse.

[57:25] That's crazy.

[57:26] What's he doing?

[57:27] I'm just glad that Freddy settled down and started a family.

[57:30] Who is he with?

[57:31] Although he is a child molester, so that's not great.

[57:33] A child murderer, right?

[57:35] But that's why they burned his house down, right?

[57:37] Yeah, I guess you're right.

[57:38] Maybe he's just a child murderer.

[57:39] So what you're saying is you're—

[57:40] I'm sorry, Freddy.

[57:41] You're merely a child murderer.

[57:42] I apologize.

[57:45] So anyway, I want to just get on the web and start streaming these original animated web series about these ninja toilets.

[57:51] Can Squarespace help me with that kind of site?

[57:53] It certainly can, and that's all I have to say about that.

[57:57] Will it make the site look the same on a phone or on a desktop or on a laptop or on an iPad?

[58:02] It scales to different devices.

[58:05] It's got what you call responsive design.

[58:08] That's great.

[58:09] That's great.

[58:10] So how do they support our show and support Squarespace?

[58:14] Well, you can start your free trial today by visiting squarespace.com slash flop.

[58:20] You should Squarespace.

[58:23] So you're saying you're going to hide—you're going to have the bios of these ninja toilets available for anybody,

[58:30] but you're going to hide all the videos, the hot vids behind a paywall, right?

[58:34] No, no, no, no, no, no.

[58:35] Because you don't want anybody to just see that shit.

[58:37] Information wants to be free, and there's no better information than toilets fighting crime with ninja weapons.

[58:42] So you're going to make money based on ads.

[58:44] It's going to be ad-supported and also internet equals cash, dollar signs.

[58:48] I'll figure it out.

[58:49] I'll figure out how to monetize this idea.

[58:51] I mean the money is just going to come flowing in, but mostly it's—

[58:53] Yeah, and you'll take a big bag and write a dollar sign on it to catch all the money.

[58:56] So I know what's in it, yeah.

[58:57] Put it right next to your disk drive for when the money squirts out.

[59:00] The Flophouse is also supported in part by Mack Weldon, the clothing company.

[59:09] Angus Mack Weldon.

[59:11] Mack Weldon, I'll tell you what.

[59:13] It's better than whatever you're wearing right now.

[59:15] That's wrong because I'm wearing Mack Weldon right now.

[59:17] Really?

[59:18] Yeah.

[59:19] This is to tell the truth.

[59:21] My Mack Weldon underpants, first in the rotation, right off the bat.

[59:25] Okay.

[59:26] I always go through them, and then I go through my lesser Hanes or what have you underpants.

[59:31] Now, they're comfortable.

[59:33] They're roomy.

[59:35] They're not too roomy.

[59:36] They're croomy?

[59:37] They're croomy, which is a word you just made up that I don't know what it means by itself.

[59:40] Comfortable and roomy.

[59:41] I see, yeah.

[59:42] They're super croomy, yeah.

[59:44] When you think Mack Weldon, think croomy.

[59:47] The Croomy Center.

[59:49] That's a croissant.

[59:50] But they are super comfortable underpants.

[59:53] Yeah, and they make all your business look great.

[59:55] Yeah.

[59:56] What were you going to say, Dan?

[59:57] Well, Mack Weldon wants you to be comfortable.

[59:58] So if you don't like your first pair of underpants,

[1:00:00] there, you can keep it and they will refund you no question asked, no questions asked

[1:00:06] even.

[1:00:07] Just making it better each time.

[1:00:11] You know, as I have gotten older guys, when I was a young man, I just put whatever I wanted

[1:00:16] on my undercarriage, but as I've gotten older, yeah, I mean in a pinch, it's what I call

[1:00:24] when I pinched my business with a hot dog, but it's a thing.

[1:00:31] Look it up on the internet.

[1:00:32] The, but what I was saying is the, uh, as I've gotten older, I don't mind spend a little

[1:00:37] bit extra bucks on the stuff that keeps my business that you can't see all my underpants.

[1:00:43] Look, you only get one.

[1:00:44] Unless you're Dan and you come over.

[1:00:45] You only get one.

[1:00:46] Take good care of it.

[1:00:48] Penis?

[1:00:49] Yes.

[1:00:50] Okay.

[1:00:51] I hear that sideshow guy from the twenties who had three legs and two penises.

[1:00:55] Okay.

[1:00:56] I don't remember his name.

[1:00:57] He was Italian.

[1:00:58] What?

[1:00:59] You make a face.

[1:01:00] I'm trying to remember and I can't remember it, uh, but Mack Weldon, uh, it's good for

[1:01:06] working out.

[1:01:07] It's good for going to work.

[1:01:08] It's good for going out dates.

[1:01:09] It's good for everyday life.

[1:01:11] It's just good guys.

[1:01:13] And uh, if you go to Mack Weldon.com, you can get 20% off using the promo code flop.

[1:01:19] Perfect.

[1:01:21] Go buy him.

[1:01:22] You will not be unsatisfied.

[1:01:24] Thank you for your support.

[1:01:27] And the, the, now we got some jumbotron.

[1:01:30] J-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-jumbotron.

[1:01:31] Dan, punch that up.

[1:01:37] Okay.

[1:01:38] Okay, so I got the first, uh, no, I think Elliot's going to go first.

[1:01:42] Oh, okay.

[1:01:43] I'll go first.

[1:01:44] This is a personal message.

[1:01:46] This is a message for Melissa Trujillo from Dylan Trujillo, in parentheses, her awesome

[1:01:52] little brother.

[1:01:53] It says, happy birthday.

[1:01:55] I know you'll love the gift of the peaches saying happy birthday, Melissa.

[1:01:58] Happy birthday, Melissa.

[1:02:00] Hey.

[1:02:01] Happy birthday, Melissa.

[1:02:02] Will Elliot sing a song?

[1:02:03] Maybe.

[1:02:04] Happy birthday to you.

[1:02:06] I can sing it now because it's in the public domain.

[1:02:10] Turns out Sony never actually owns the copyright.

[1:02:13] They just stole money from a lot of people for decades to you.

[1:02:17] Will Dan sigh?

[1:02:20] Will Stu crack a beer?

[1:02:21] Oh, shit.

[1:02:22] He's just got a bottle of Schweppes over there.

[1:02:23] For once, he doesn't have a beer.

[1:02:26] You're the best and you're welcome for showing, oh, that didn't work, uh, and you're welcome

[1:02:31] for showing you this great podcast and, oh, and you're welcome for showing you this great,

[1:02:35] and well, I don't know.

[1:02:36] Anyway, so in a way, oh no, it should be, so you're welcome, uh, oh, you know what?

[1:02:41] Oh boy, this is falling apart.

[1:02:42] Dylan, you got to put some quotes in there, some commas, now I don't read it, and you're

[1:02:46] welcome for showing you this great podcast, so in a way, I am also the best to the both

[1:02:51] of us.

[1:02:52] Seriously, I love you and you're an amazing sister.

[1:02:54] Rawr, rawr.

[1:02:55] Rawr, rawr.

[1:02:56] Dylan.

[1:02:57] So happy birthday, Melissa.

[1:02:58] That's so sweet.

[1:02:59] From a brother to a sister.

[1:03:00] You never, you don't really see a lot of that, uh, kind of sibling commitment.

[1:03:04] I often forget to tell my sister happy birthday and we share a birthday.

[1:03:07] Yeah.

[1:03:08] It is impossible for me to forget it.

[1:03:10] So, up next on the old Jumbotron, uh, we have what I can only assume is another personal

[1:03:18] message.

[1:03:19] Uh, this message is for Helen.

[1:03:22] The message is from Jason, and the message reads as follows, sup.

[1:03:29] Okay, thanks.

[1:03:31] Yeah.

[1:03:32] Thank you very much.

[1:03:33] That was the message, huh?

[1:03:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:03:35] So, Helen, if you're out there, Jason says sup.

[1:03:38] Um.

[1:03:39] If you'd like to tell someone sup over the Jumbotron.

[1:03:43] Jump over to MaximumFun.com.

[1:03:44] Org.

[1:03:45] MaximumFun.org.

[1:03:46] Don't go to MaximumFun.com.

[1:03:47] No, no.

[1:03:48] It's porn.

[1:03:49] Go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron.

[1:03:50] It's somewhere in there.

[1:03:51] I believe so.

[1:03:52] I believe so.

[1:03:53] But now, it's time for letters from listeners.

[1:03:54] You write them, we read them.

[1:03:55] Letter.

[1:03:56] Time.

[1:03:57] It's letter.

[1:03:58] Time.

[1:03:59] Letter.

[1:04:00] Time.

[1:04:01] Letter.

[1:04:02] Time.

[1:04:03] Letter.

[1:04:04] Time.

[1:04:05] Letter.

[1:04:06] Time.

[1:04:07] Letter.

[1:04:08] Time.

[1:04:09] For listeners.

[1:04:10] Yeah, it was a great song.

[1:04:11] Not really a song.

[1:04:12] It was sort of a call and response sort of thing.

[1:04:13] It was a thing, yeah.

[1:04:14] It was a thing.

[1:04:15] That's the great thing about the word thing is you can use it to describe stuff that doesn't

[1:04:16] really have a word.

[1:04:17] Uh, yeah.

[1:04:18] As established earlier.

[1:04:19] Like, what are those things at the end of your shoelaces called?

[1:04:20] Who is that guy covered in rocks?

[1:04:21] They're called aglets.

[1:04:22] Yeah.

[1:04:23] And thing is the guy.

[1:04:24] Oh, I see what you did.

[1:04:25] Yeah.

[1:04:26] Uh, so, this first letter.

[1:04:27] Is.

[1:04:28] Is.

[1:04:29] Is.

[1:04:30] Is.

[1:04:31] Is.

[1:04:32] Is.

[1:04:33] Is.

[1:04:34] Is.

[1:04:35] Is.

[1:04:36] And the middle name for Robert is from first name withheld, Robert, last name withheld.

[1:04:40] Hmm, that's the middle name.

[1:04:41] Who says.

[1:04:42] I assume that's James Robert Ryan Tolkien.

[1:04:45] Mm-hmm.

[1:04:46] As with most parents of preteen children, the flop house is our standard entertainment

[1:04:51] to listen to while shuttling the kids to their various basketball and baseball events.

[1:04:55] Not this one, I hope.

[1:04:57] That's terrible.

[1:04:58] Uh, the 13-year-old will last until the first sustained Elliott pun run, at which time the

[1:05:04] earphones are put on with an audible sigh.

[1:05:06] Ha, ha, ha.

[1:05:07] Kids hate me.

[1:05:08] She must be paying closer attention than I thought, as the other day I was watching a

[1:05:12] movie, and she asked me if it was a bad, bad movie, a good, bad movie, or a movie I kind

[1:05:15] of liked.

[1:05:16] Stewart, as the resident cinephile, how long until this becomes the new standard rating

[1:05:21] system for all movies?

[1:05:22] Dan?

[1:05:23] Uh, I give it another, what, we've been doing this nine years?

[1:05:26] Nine years.

[1:05:27] So, one more year.

[1:05:28] Okay.

[1:05:29] Ten years is the, uh, the rule.

[1:05:30] Yeah.

[1:05:31] We're, we have to.

[1:05:32] Yeah, that's what they have to do.

[1:05:33] That's what they have to do.

[1:05:34] Is your grandfather in it?

[1:05:35] So, uh, call up the father of movies.

[1:05:38] Yeah.

[1:05:39] Thomas Edison?

[1:05:40] Yes.

[1:05:41] Call him up on The Thing You Invented.

[1:05:43] Oh, the ten-year-grandfather you're talking about, Dan?

[1:05:46] Yeah.

[1:05:47] Ten-year-grandfather.

[1:05:48] Ha, ha, ha.

[1:05:49] That's terrible.

[1:05:50] Uh, Dan, my son would like to know when you're going to find the Jersey Devil.

[1:05:53] Look.

[1:05:54] Oh, that was a long time ago.

[1:05:56] Yeah, that's, yeah, I assume that's a reference to our ghost hunting videos?

[1:06:00] Yeah, that's not even a Flop House thing.

[1:06:02] Yeah.

[1:06:03] That was a video that we made for my old live show, The Primetime Kalen.

[1:06:06] If you look up Ghost Hunters, uh, Dan McCoy, Elliot Kalen, you might come up with a few

[1:06:13] amusing YouTube videos.

[1:06:15] Very, very amateurish YouTube videos.

[1:06:17] Very slapdash videos that were put together for a live show, and so we're like, let's

[1:06:21] not put a lot of work into them, because they're going to be shown once, and then that's it.

[1:06:26] Uh, but, uh, yeah, the search continues.

[1:06:30] Um, Elliot, as the resident comic book expert, what is your opinion on including real characters

[1:06:36] or other out-of-context references in your stories?

[1:06:39] Is there a difference between an Easter egg and a reference-slash-cameo that breaks you

[1:06:43] out of the comic-slash-movie-slash-TV-show's world?

[1:06:47] Yeah, there is, but it's one of those things like, like obscenity, I know it when I see

[1:06:51] it, but it's hard for me to define.

[1:06:54] It's like, uh, there are times when things can get a little too winky, and then it's

[1:07:00] like, alright, like I can't buy into the reality of this anymore.

[1:07:04] I mean, Stan Lee's cameos in his movies kind of become that as they get more baroque, you

[1:07:10] know?

[1:07:11] Uh, or if you're reading a comic book and there's clearly a scene where the creators

[1:07:15] of the comic are like having a conversation, that can be fun for a panel, but if it's a

[1:07:20] whole page, forget about it.

[1:07:23] You're talking to somebody who wrote a series of one-page bits where it's just starring

[1:07:27] Wyatt Cenac and me?

[1:07:29] Yeah.

[1:07:30] Co-wrote with Wyatt.

[1:07:31] Which have been republished in a book that's coming out from Marvel called Secret Wars

[1:07:35] 2, which is where they reprinted a bunch of their humor books, and all my humor stuff

[1:07:39] is in there.

[1:07:40] Yeah.

[1:07:42] I didn't know it existed until they sent me one in the mail.

[1:07:44] I prefer it when, like, Dave Zim shows up in a Serebis book and he teaches us some real

[1:07:49] life lessons, like, da broads, am I right?

[1:07:52] This movie that we watched today had a real Dave Zim take on women.

[1:07:55] Yeah.

[1:07:56] Uh, and last question from this email.

[1:07:58] Housecat, why did you not have a character in the Adventures on Crossover?

[1:08:01] Was it a dispute about money, or are you just too serious for D&D?

[1:08:04] I'll have to ask him sometime.

[1:08:06] Uh, he doesn't have a lot of time for D&D.

[1:08:09] I wouldn't say it's too serious, he just doesn't really truck with that nerd shit.

[1:08:13] You know what I mean?

[1:08:14] Yeah, he's a little too cool.

[1:08:15] Yeah.

[1:08:16] You know how some people are so cool that they can do nerdy stuff and still be cool?

[1:08:19] He's even cooler than that.

[1:08:21] He's the next step.

[1:08:22] Yeah.

[1:08:23] Yeah, it cycles back on itself.

[1:08:24] He's busy skateboarding, having one of the Frank D'Angelo energy drinks while he does it.

[1:08:32] That's what he drinks now, yeah.

[1:08:33] Hey, do you guys ever fantasize about if some kid is in, like, a home alone situation and

[1:08:40] he's got to scare out burglars, that he's going to use audio files of your podcast clips

[1:08:44] to scare the burglars away?

[1:08:46] Not really.

[1:08:47] Okay.

[1:08:48] Like your filthy animal bit?

[1:08:51] My classic Stuart Wellington filthy animal bit from the Flophouse podcast.

[1:08:55] No, I've never thought about that.

[1:08:59] Okay.

[1:09:00] So this is from Michael, last name withheld, who writes,

[1:09:04] Recently I was stricken with a nasty stomach bug to distract me from my nausea and to help

[1:09:09] cover up the sounds that come along with a nasty stomach bug, I downloaded a bunch of

[1:09:13] Flophouse episodes to comfort me as I pressed my face to the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

[1:09:18] Poetic.

[1:09:19] For once in Earth's history, Elliot's singing actually soothes somebody.

[1:09:22] Oh, come on.

[1:09:23] Although Stuart's talk of wormy boners did not help my queasiness, and with every mournful

[1:09:28] sigh from Dan, I thought, what the fuck are you so sad about?

[1:09:31] I'm dying here, you bastard.

[1:09:33] Sorry, Dan.

[1:09:34] It was the virus talking.

[1:09:36] After a rough couple of days, I realized I was going to live and indeed managed to stand

[1:09:40] on the bathroom scale to assess the damage.

[1:09:43] I looked down to find that in two days, I had managed to lose seven pounds?

[1:09:48] What?

[1:09:49] Oh, he strikes again.

[1:09:50] That's right.

[1:09:51] It was clear this was no random illness.

[1:09:52] No, I had been poisoned by that dastardly supervillain.

[1:09:55] Had he been my Uber driver the night before?

[1:09:57] Had he slipped some cash into my pocket?

[1:09:59] I don't know.

[1:10:00] I don't know.

[1:10:01] I don't know.

[1:10:02] I don't know.

[1:10:03] I don't know.

[1:10:04] I don't know.

[1:10:05] I don't know.

[1:10:06] I don't know.

[1:10:07] I don't know.

[1:10:08] I don't know.

[1:10:09] I don't know.

[1:10:10] I don't know.

[1:10:11] I don't know.

[1:10:00] Concoction into my food posing as a line cook and why do you pick me actually? I'm pretty fucking awesome

[1:10:05] So that part was that understandable just be careful out there fellas

[1:10:08] Seven pounds is back in town. Also. What movies do you like to watch when you're sick?

[1:10:15] My go-to

[1:10:16] Has been that like lately it's been the world's end

[1:10:21] Okay, it's one of those things. I can just put on and like I go to my happy place

[1:10:27] And sometimes lately I'll also throw in the guest

[1:10:31] The guest is a good one. Yeah, I would put that on my list. I mean and likewise

[1:10:38] In the 80s John Carpenter, which is basically the same thing as the guest. Yep. I would watch where I'm sick

[1:10:44] I don't get sick very much. My body just kind of rejects illness

[1:10:49] Mm-hmm

[1:10:50] The first time I had a kidney stone was pretty bad and

[1:10:54] I will remember watching from beyond for the first time and I was like around the point that uh that Jeffrey Combs as

[1:11:01] He's mutating because he's seen another dimension. Yeah, it sucks the eyeball out of another man's head

[1:11:06] I was like this movie gets where I'm at right now. Yeah, and it really helped I

[1:11:11] Suffered a pretty bad arm injury. I broke my humerus after having recently broken my radius and let me tell you pretty funny

[1:11:18] It was not humorous. You beat me to the fucking

[1:11:22] Hello Dan high-five awaiting you

[1:11:25] I was stuck on the couch for a while. And of course, my mom went out and rented me some tapes from the local beebuster

[1:11:37] She knows me because the top of that stack of tapes was Jeff Fahey's vehicle body parts

[1:11:45] But a guy who gets in a horrible car accident, which is how I broke my arm and

[1:11:50] Gets a grafted arm of a serial killer on his body. And guess what that arm wants to kill people

[1:11:57] Mm-hmm muscle memory. Yeah, that's right

[1:12:00] I'm good at one thing. Why don't they let me do it anymore murdering?

[1:12:06] So this is from Joe last name withheld who writes the flop house is my favorite podcast Dan and Elliot

[1:12:12] I love you guys, too. But this question is for my favorite flopper, Stu. Well, thanks. Okay. Thanks Joe Montana 49ers former quarterback

[1:12:21] Stu

[1:12:22] Mm-hmm. I recently brought bought Netrunner on your recommendation from the we are your friends app

[1:12:27] Okay, however

[1:12:29] Neither of my roommates my usually strip my usual strategy game crew will play with me weird

[1:12:34] I was thinking of bringing it to my local board game night

[1:12:37] But I don't want to be that guy that rolls into a game night

[1:12:39] Convinces someone to play with him and then takes 20 minutes to figure out how ice works. Yeah

[1:12:44] How would you suggest I find someone who I can start playing my new game with? Thanks Joe last name with elder probably, right?

[1:12:50] Yeah, I think that's the best way if you're like, hey, you want to crank some fucking ice

[1:12:55] I would say

[1:12:57] When it I don't know exactly where you live

[1:12:59] but I know in New York that there that if you go look for meetups for board games and you can look for meetups for

[1:13:06] The card game in question, you can also go on board game geek comm and look at the forums

[1:13:13] Yeah, or go on in this case the producer of that games

[1:13:18] Community section and find meetups for that game that way. That's what I would suggest

[1:13:23] Mm-hmm or come down to hinterlands bar the bar. I just opened and I'll play you dude in Brooklyn, New York

[1:13:28] He will set it up on the bar. Mm-hmm. We'll be

[1:13:31] Talking about ice. Yeah, both the beverage and

[1:13:36] The thing in the game rich. Yeah

[1:13:39] See, I mean like you put ice in your drink, but I don't it's I mean, I guess work down

[1:13:45] I get the health department calls it a food at this point. Yeah, I mean that seems weird, too

[1:13:50] But it makes more sense to me. Yeah, that's why a bar counts as a restaurant for the health department

[1:13:55] Just for the ice counts as food. Yeah. Hmm

[1:13:57] Go on Dan

[1:13:59] That's a little insight into New York Health Department

[1:14:03] Regulation also take care of your regulars be a Paul Sorvino. Mm-hmm

[1:14:07] Give them a free drink when they lose their house. Yep, or as you never know, they might go into a

[1:14:13] Bank and start shooting people up. Yeah. Yeah, he's the seven pounds in this scenario

[1:14:20] This last one last letter I assume is mostly for Elliot

[1:14:27] Dear Elliot. Oh, then probably no, it starts out with the word Elliot. So

[1:14:32] When you read things usually start in the middle and they're just kind of like expand outward in concentric rings

[1:14:37] Until you reach the beginning. I saw the word well because it's a it was a hyperlink when I printed it out

[1:14:43] I saw president Lincoln underlined

[1:14:47] So the eyes went to it because I find that's actually how I read menus a lot of the time

[1:14:51] I have to force myself to go. Oh you like zoom in on a specific like if a word catches your eye

[1:14:56] you're like, I don't know like

[1:15:01] Almost always

[1:15:02] Pork steak or chicken like it's and then I you're like, oh, honey. They have chicken. Give me a second. I'm reading

[1:15:09] And I put my bookmark in the part of the menu. I left off at mm-hmm. Take a nap

[1:15:13] He's the bathroom come back

[1:15:15] But I find I have to force myself to start at the beginning of the menu the appetizers usually. Mm-hmm

[1:15:20] And then there's a twist ending dessert

[1:15:24] Wow, it turns out the chocolate fondue did it

[1:15:31] Spoiler alert

[1:15:34] What's that what's that cake doing upside down

[1:15:37] We'll find out when we get there, honey

[1:15:40] Molten chocolate cake burned him to death

[1:15:44] With lava. Yeah

[1:15:46] Dan McCoy dessert detective

[1:15:48] Elliot

[1:15:49] Have you ever been to President Lincoln's cottage at the soldiers home in DC

[1:15:54] It's one of the most fascinating the underrated tourist attractions in DC far more interesting than Ford's Theatre a weird tourist scam hub

[1:16:01] It's a modest house in Petworth where Lincoln lived for much of his presidency

[1:16:05] I'm familiar with the soldiers home commuting by horse to the White House

[1:16:08] He wrote the Emancipation Proclamation there and the tour gives a great overview of his personality and the personality of DC as a city

[1:16:15] I bet that sure would give you even greater context for understanding the day-to-day life of Lincoln and the great pressures he faced

[1:16:22] I'd also like to recommend this tour to anyone else listing

[1:16:25] It's great

[1:16:25] and I always encouraged encouraged tourists to get off the mall and

[1:16:29] See DC as the great city as it is CDC the Center for Disease Control

[1:16:33] Last name of I've actually never encouraged is when you force people to watch the entourage

[1:16:39] Force them you just

[1:16:41] You know push it on them, yeah, you see you invite them over a party and then you just put it on the TV

[1:16:46] Boy, you're like, hey, just do what your body wants guys

[1:16:51] And then they turn it off because that's what their body was

[1:16:54] Body rejects it. I've actually never been to the soldiers home

[1:16:56] I've really wanted to go and I haven't had a trip to DC in years when I've been able to

[1:17:02] Really went to DC for a live show for a like a day. Yeah

[1:17:06] Yeah, and Ellie was like take me to soldiers home. Take me to soldiers home and we're like, no

[1:17:10] We don't have time Ellie. Maybe tomorrow

[1:17:14] We rubbed a little we rubbed a little whiskey on his gums and put him to bed

[1:17:19] fussy

[1:17:20] It's I was just reading a book recently about Lincoln's relationship with John

[1:17:25] Hey

[1:17:25] and his private said one of his private secretaries later became Teddy Roosevelt Secretary of State among other posts they held and

[1:17:32] It talked about these horse rides that they would do the two of them between the White House and the soldiers home

[1:17:37] and I was getting so envious for all this concentrated time that he got to spend with Abraham Lincoln just kind of like hanging out and

[1:17:45] I would like to go see it actually for that reason it was at the time it was built

[1:17:49] It was way off in the woods and now it's just in DC city has expanded

[1:17:53] But I'd like to go maybe you could convince Daniel Day-lewis to go with you and he would put on his Lincoln performance

[1:18:00] Yeah, that's only a few steps that I'll have to go through to get that point

[1:18:04] Step one find out how to contact Daniel Day-lewis. I mean if he's not available just get Daniel Knight Lewis

[1:18:14] I've been great tonight. Is that M. Night Shyamalan's middle name brother M. Day Shyamalan?

[1:18:22] M. Day Shyamalan has no twist endings in his films. You see what you get says M. Day Shyamalan

[1:18:27] Hey, now's the time for the last segment on the show. Okay. I don't know if I have the energy. Yeah, sure I do

[1:18:34] Which is when we recommend movies that we actually liked although we enjoyed

[1:18:43] Parts unknown

[1:18:47] This is a movie that you'd watch is like a double feature with no deposit

[1:18:51] This is a movie that you'd watch is like a double feature with no deposit

[1:18:55] So what what do you guys want to recommend? I have my recommendation. Okay, so

[1:18:59] Okay, I'll go first. There's no pressure, but I've got one

[1:19:02] I'm gonna recommend a movie that probably doesn't need me to champion for it

[1:19:06] This is a movie that was I guess a big release when I was a kid and I saw it in the theater

[1:19:13] It stars Elliot's pal so sly Stallone

[1:19:16] Elliot's pal so sly Stallone, uh, it's a movie called demolition man. So if you're looking for a big

[1:19:24] Dan that look at his face like you bastard

[1:19:31] Why today of all days

[1:19:35] Why

[1:19:37] Why in 2016?

[1:19:40] Dan stares into my eyes

[1:19:42] Hoping to find some kind of understanding there, but he sees nothing not but emptiness

[1:19:50] Uh, so yeah, no demolition man is a movie where the greatest

[1:19:58] This little known

[1:20:00] Indie hit. Indie film.

[1:20:03] Was it even a hit when it came out? I don't know.

[1:20:06] It was a minor success, I believe.

[1:20:08] Oh, the miners liked it.

[1:20:10] Played real well in Harlan County, Kentucky.

[1:20:12] Well, they didn't really have much else to watch down in the mines.

[1:20:14] Projected on the bare rock.

[1:20:16] The strong whose side are you on platform that Sylvester Stallone stands for.

[1:20:20] Okay, so Demolition Man is about the greatest cop in the universe

[1:20:25] fighting an evil drug dealer,

[1:20:27] and they both end up getting charged with a crime and frozen,

[1:20:32] and then they wake up far in the future,

[1:20:34] and they get into all kinds of wacky adventures,

[1:20:36] and the villain in this case is played by Wesley Snipes,

[1:20:39] and this is genuinely a great, over-the-top, cartoony performance

[1:20:44] that would have not been out of place in any of the Tim Burton Batman movies.

[1:20:49] It's great.

[1:20:51] It's almost worth watching just on that energy alone,

[1:20:54] and it's the sort of thing, it's the sort of performance where you're like

[1:20:57] kind of surprised that Wesley Snipes isn't a bigger star

[1:21:00] because he is so much fun to watch in this movie.

[1:21:03] I mean, he was a, he has been a huge star.

[1:21:06] I mean, he's fallen on hard times, I suppose.

[1:21:09] I mean, not paying your taxes for many years

[1:21:11] and then having to pay them all at once will do that to you.

[1:21:13] Yeah, I suppose.

[1:21:15] So if you get a chance, if you haven't already seen it,

[1:21:17] you should go check it out.

[1:21:19] It's a great example of a good, bad movie,

[1:21:22] and you can finally find out what the three seashells of the bathroom are all about.

[1:21:26] You don't know how to use those?

[1:21:29] It also has perhaps the most gratuitous piece of nudity in any film ever.

[1:21:35] Sylvester Stallone just gets a wrong video phone call from a nude lady,

[1:21:39] and that's the entirety of it.

[1:21:41] She goes, oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.

[1:21:43] And now that we have video phone calls, you know that shit happens all the time.

[1:21:47] Constantly. People are constantly misdialing their video phone numbers.

[1:21:50] Okay, so Dan, now that you can't recommend Demolition Man...

[1:21:55] Damn you.

[1:21:57] I'm going to take a page from Elliot's playbook.

[1:22:00] I'm going to recommend a movie from 1935.

[1:22:02] Just don't take a page from my Playboy.

[1:22:05] What if it's one of those terrible joke pages?

[1:22:08] You can take those. Those are pretty bad.

[1:22:10] Or if it's an article about travel.

[1:22:13] Yeah, or some Norman Mailer article.

[1:22:17] Or Norman Mailier. I'm not familiar with his work either.

[1:22:19] He's French.

[1:22:20] Norman Mailer plus manure.

[1:22:23] So, 1935, the version of A Midsummer Night's Dream that was done.

[1:22:32] And it had Olivia de Havilland as Titania.

[1:22:35] It had Jimmy Cagney as Bottom.

[1:22:39] It had Dick Powell as Lysander, I believe.

[1:22:43] I think so. And Joey Brown is another one of the...

[1:22:45] Joey Brown is snug the joiner.

[1:22:48] It was the film version of the Max Reinhardt production.

[1:22:54] I believe that's correct.

[1:22:56] And to my taste, I know Elliot and I talked about this and we had a minor disagreement.

[1:23:03] To my taste, there's a little too much gauzy photography of fairies running around.

[1:23:08] Which I think is the biggest strong point of the movie.

[1:23:11] That's a movie I really like a lot.

[1:23:14] And the thing I like the most about it is the 30s gauzy photographed choreography.

[1:23:19] Where there's just nymphs running around a forest with a lot of glitter everywhere.

[1:23:25] It happens a lot.

[1:23:27] I like that aspect of it.

[1:23:29] If you like that, then you'll love the 1935 A Midsummer Night's Dream.

[1:23:33] James Cagney's really good in it. Joey Brown is really funny.

[1:23:36] Yeah, the rude mechanical stuff is very funny.

[1:23:39] I think it's probably the strongest stuff in the movie.

[1:23:42] It's an interesting movie to watch.

[1:23:44] I'm a big fan of the play.

[1:23:46] It's an interesting movie to watch to see how much they cut down the play.

[1:23:50] Even though the movie's over two hours long, it's like 2.15 or something like that.

[1:23:55] Gotta make room for all those fairies running around.

[1:23:57] Yeah, there's whole wide swaths of dialogue that's just replaced by people making various faces at each other.

[1:24:05] The only thing I really don't like in that movie is Mickey Rooney's performance as Puck.

[1:24:11] He's terrible as Puck.

[1:24:12] He's just very irritating in it.

[1:24:14] He's so irritating.

[1:24:16] Mickey Rooney can go broad a lot of the time, but this is him as a child.

[1:24:24] He has this weird, I'm an old man, but a child quality about him.

[1:24:30] He does this laugh, like every other line, that just goes like...

[1:24:34] This horrible braying thing.

[1:24:39] But, aside from that, I think that's a good movie.

[1:24:42] I think that's still the best film version of that play that I've seen.

[1:24:46] I think that that's probably true.

[1:24:48] But that also...

[1:24:50] It's damningly very famed praise.

[1:24:54] I have seen better stage productions of it.

[1:24:56] Sure you have.

[1:24:58] But if you're a fan of...

[1:25:00] One in Stratford itself.

[1:25:02] Oh, wow.

[1:25:04] You're treading the boards.

[1:25:06] I guess.

[1:25:08] If you're a fan of Midsommars at all, you should watch the movie.

[1:25:12] And then just go watch A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy.

[1:25:15] A really good movie with a terrible title.

[1:25:17] Sure.

[1:25:19] And I'm going to recommend a movie.

[1:25:21] I'm going to take a page from the Elliot Cailin Playbook

[1:25:23] and recommend an old movie that's also a foreign film.

[1:25:26] And I'm going to recommend...

[1:25:28] You know what?

[1:25:30] Frank D'Angelo just wanted to make movies,

[1:25:32] and it's not like he had training in it at all.

[1:25:34] He just decided he had a story to tell,

[1:25:36] and he decided to tell it.

[1:25:38] And this movie was made in similar fashion

[1:25:40] by a little man named Satyajit Ray from India.

[1:25:42] And this is his first film, Pather Panchali,

[1:25:44] which I've been putting off watching for years.

[1:25:46] That was a great one.

[1:25:48] Because even though I love old movies,

[1:25:50] and I love old foreign movies,

[1:25:52] and I love foreign movies,

[1:25:54] I still every now and then get that feeling of like...

[1:25:56] This is going to be not as enjoyable as it is good for me.

[1:25:59] But Pather Panchali is like a genuinely beautiful,

[1:26:02] entertaining movie,

[1:26:04] and it's really heartbreaking, really good.

[1:26:06] It's from the 50s,

[1:26:08] and it's a film about rural Indian poverty,

[1:26:13] but about one family, a husband and wife.

[1:26:15] The husband has dreams of being a writer,

[1:26:17] but he's just kind of not supporting his family.

[1:26:19] The wife is the one the pressure falls on,

[1:26:21] and they have two kids,

[1:26:23] an older daughter and a younger son.

[1:26:25] And there's a certain amount of slice-of-lifeness to it,

[1:26:29] but there's a lot of tight plotting in it also.

[1:26:32] And I don't want to talk...

[1:26:34] To describe the plot is not to describe what's interesting about it,

[1:26:38] but it's like a beautiful-looking film,

[1:26:40] and the emotions in it are really strong,

[1:26:42] and the performances are really great.

[1:26:44] And it's one of those movies where you're like,

[1:26:46] this was the director's first movie.

[1:26:48] A number of the actors in it were not professional actors at the time.

[1:26:51] Like, that's crazy. This is such a good movie.

[1:26:54] So I highly recommend it. Pather Panchali.

[1:26:57] Okay, three equally good movies.

[1:26:59] That's right.

[1:27:01] One is one of the hallmarks of Indian cinema,

[1:27:04] and then you've got kind of golden-age Hollywood

[1:27:07] adapting the greatest writer who ever existed,

[1:27:09] and then you've got Demolition Man.

[1:27:11] Rated R.

[1:27:14] I assume it would be a Sylvester Sloan, Rob Schneider double feature with Judge Dredd.

[1:27:19] Also a futuristic adventure.

[1:27:21] If only Dennis Leary had also been in Judge Dredd.

[1:27:25] The Three Musketeers, they called them.

[1:27:28] Yeah, because they loved the candy bar with the same name.

[1:27:33] Hey, Rob, hand me another candy bar.

[1:27:36] Hey, guys.

[1:27:39] I heard you were talking about Demolition Man, so I had to stop by.

[1:27:42] But the episode's running a little long, so I just realized I started a bit.

[1:27:45] That's not a good idea, so I think I'm probably going to get going.

[1:27:48] Do you have any questions about your character John Spartan?

[1:27:51] Don't really remember too much.

[1:27:53] What's the name of Wesley Snipes' character, like Jimmy Phoenix?

[1:27:56] I knew it was Phoenix or something.

[1:27:58] Anyway, go see whatever movie I have in theaters right now.

[1:28:00] Is there something out? I don't know.

[1:28:02] I don't think so.

[1:28:04] Well, get Creed on DVD.

[1:28:06] People loved it.

[1:28:08] And I'm sure I'll be back at some point.

[1:28:10] All right.

[1:28:12] It's always good to see you.

[1:28:14] So what's new with you guys?

[1:28:16] Did you just open your new bar?

[1:28:18] Yeah, it's been really successful.

[1:28:20] We carry bullet bourbon.

[1:28:22] And Dan, you've got a lot of good things going on.

[1:28:24] No, that's not true at all.

[1:28:26] Okay, got to go.

[1:28:28] Even old Sly knows when he's put his foot in the old mouth.

[1:28:31] So I'm just going to go, okay?

[1:28:34] He always has his jet pack with him.

[1:28:37] I hope Elliot comes back soon.

[1:28:39] He's going to be so mad he missed Sly again.

[1:28:41] I'm back, guys. I didn't miss anything, right?

[1:28:43] I just went to get some more Cheetos.

[1:28:45] We didn't miss anything at all.

[1:28:47] So I just want to thank everybody who came out to the MaxFun Meetup.

[1:28:51] There was a lot of folks that I hadn't met before,

[1:28:53] and that was really great to meet so many nice, cool folks

[1:28:55] who came out to the meetup, what, a week ago at the bar I just opened.

[1:28:59] It was really humbling to just meet all these really nice people

[1:29:02] and get that kind of support.

[1:29:05] And Dan had a great time, too.

[1:29:07] Yeah, I was also there.

[1:29:09] I missed it, but I regretted missing it.

[1:29:11] Hopefully we'll get to do more of those things.

[1:29:14] It's super fun.

[1:29:16] And if you didn't come out because you were worried

[1:29:19] that you wouldn't know anybody, you should come out and talk to me

[1:29:22] because at a lot of those things, I mainly spend the time

[1:29:25] standing around wondering who I can talk to.

[1:29:28] Feel free to just walk up to Stuart and tell him you don't listen to The Flop House.

[1:29:31] Yeah, please do that.

[1:29:33] People feel fine doing that, apparently.

[1:29:35] In between meetups, you can also check out The Flop House on YouTube.

[1:29:39] Just check out Flop House Podcast.

[1:29:41] There's a lot of really great stuff.

[1:29:43] Specifically, there's some really great stuff that's made for that podcast.

[1:29:46] For our podcast, for that YouTube channel by Tony Oker, which are great.

[1:29:51] Animated adaptations.

[1:29:53] Including a recent one featuring Dianne Silvestri.

[1:29:58] Oh, man, I hope I'm here the next time.

[1:30:00] stops by. I always miss them.

[1:30:02] Dan and I look at each other awkwardly and then, uh, and yeah,

[1:30:06] and if you're looking for any, uh, Christmas presents or whatever,

[1:30:11] man, just, just because presents, uh,

[1:30:13] don't forget that we got merch available at the MaxFund store,

[1:30:16] including a really awesome poster by the artist Tom Fowler,

[1:30:20] where all of our proceeds for it go directly to the American Foundation for

[1:30:24] Suicide Prevention. A great cause. Okay.

[1:30:27] Uh, thanks Stu for that, uh, housework.

[1:30:30] This episode was so packed full of experiences.

[1:30:32] We watched a really crazy, funny movie. We celebrated nine years together.

[1:30:37] We talked about, we talked about the Holocaust and Robert Logev.

[1:30:39] We talked about the Holocaust a fair amount and, uh,

[1:30:42] recommended some movies, had some laughs, said hello to some people,

[1:30:45] said sup to one person in particular.

[1:30:47] Yeah. Helen.

[1:30:50] Sup Helen.

[1:30:51] The taking of Helen. One, two, three.

[1:30:53] Uh, well, I hope that Helen has a good time.

[1:30:57] I hope that you've all had a good time, but, uh,

[1:31:02] and we're dying. So as we put ourselves

[1:31:11] we sign off saying, uh, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:31:14] And this guy's been Stuart Wellington.

[1:31:17] And over here, still tiny, Elliot Kalin.

[1:31:20] Good night, everyone.

[1:31:27] So this is just like Godzilla. It's a real New York movie.

[1:31:30] Yeah. Oh yeah. How are my levels?

[1:31:34] How are my levels?

[1:31:37] This is how I'm gonna talk the whole time.

[1:31:41] Like that?

[1:31:42] Just like this. I'm gonna talk like this.

[1:31:46] I'm gonna talk like this sometimes too.

[1:31:48] I will talk like this, like a robot, the whole episode.

[1:31:52] It won't get annoying. I promise.

[1:31:57] Uh, yeah, I guess you gotta do the hand motions.

[1:31:59] I'm doing them even though they cannot hear for realism.

[1:32:02] You can hear the confidence of the hand motions in the voice.

[1:32:06] It helps my performance posture.

[1:32:09] That's, uh, that was the, the directing you gave during MST3K, right?

[1:32:14] I said, hey, move like a robot while you're saying those things.

[1:32:18] Move like a robot.

[1:32:26] Yeah.

[1:32:29] Boom operator.

[1:32:31] Boom operator.

[1:32:34] That's the, that's the farthest I've ever gotten with that parody.

[1:32:37] I've been thinking about it for a while.

[1:32:38] Yeah, that's pretty good.

[1:32:40] Maximumfun.org.

[1:32:42] Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

[1:32:45] Listener supported.

Ep. #212 - No Depo$it

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