Ep. #212 - No Depo$it

Dan McCoy

[0:00] hey everyone it's small timber small vember and we watched no deposit what movie is this

Elliott Kalan

[0:08] it's so small it might not even exist did i get the name of the movie right i think so

[0:14] yeah yeah yeah yeah i think so check the dvd and yes

[0:30] hey everyone and welcome to the flop house i'm dan mccoy woo wee it's small vember and i'm

[0:52] steward wellington and i'm ellie caitlin being real small for small vember uh so wait so do you live

[0:59] in like a little shoebox i live in a little matchbox oh wow you're even smaller than i thought

[1:03] small very tiny i'll hop in your pocket you won't know i'm there oh so you can jump like a flea or

[1:09] something uh yeah i have super bug jumping you're spying on me while i'm changing uh a little bit

[1:16] i crawl up your chest hair in the middle of the night when you're sleeping i think i saw a up all

Stuart Wellington

[1:21] night uh movie where a guy was crawling around in somebody's pubes uh like that but they were like

[1:27] he was super tiny so it was like honey i shrunk the kids like he was like the incredible shrinking

[1:32] man yeah i think that's what the movie was no it's like honey i shrunk the kids yeah exactly like it

Elliott Kalan

[1:37] when rick moranis accidentally drops the kids in his pants yeah yeah and they have to traverse his uh

Stuart Wellington

[1:45] his jungle of a bush i can only assume just as in fighting off crabs just like in the

[1:51] like actual like actual crap okay yeah yeah like in the rudyard kipling classic the jungle bush

[1:57] in which mogli goes through some changes uh-huh he gets real small and climbs around in a bush

Dan McCoy

[2:05] exactly yeah a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush yeah i've been told by who i don't know

[2:13] so what do we do here your parole officer who told you that i don't know i don't think i've actually

Elliott Kalan

[2:19] been told that you see two birds in the bush you drop that bird in your hand and you go for him

[2:23] because two is more than one while he's doing that i'm gonna pick up the bird that he dropped

Stuart Wellington

[2:27] more bird for me okay but are you just gonna pick up one or is there a second bird for you to grab

[2:33] it depends on how many he catches okay what kind of bird is this why do i want it so much

Dan McCoy

[2:39] well because you can eat it yeah but or companionship like a pigeon like a wormy pigeon

[2:45] gross one pigeons are a delicacy all over the world two why is it wormy is it dead already

Elliott Kalan

[2:50] in that case don't bother with it not the not the not the challenge you think it is yeah yeah stop

[2:55] waving around in your hand put it down that's disgusting where did you even get that for those

[3:00] who can't see because you're listening to this dan is holding the wormy corpse of a pigeon

[3:04] and he's just waving it around yeah his name's edgar and he's my friend oh don't pretend it's a

[3:09] back scratcher don't stop doing prop work with it now it's a phone oh i get it yeah yeah now it's a

[3:16] mirror now it's a microphone you're singing old doo-wop tunes into now you're telling it to talk to the

Dan McCoy

[3:21] hand i guess this is from the new show whose corpse is it anyway

[3:26] you gotta do improv with dead things that's like that old horror movie where children shouldn't do

Elliott Kalan

[3:34] improv with dead things that's right so so what's small vember dan well we'll explain what this

[3:40] podcast is and then explain what small vember is well small timber as i meant to name it before my

[3:46] tongue slipped unfortunately it's it's a real uh champing at the bit chomping at the bit situation

[3:52] where pedants will tell you also pronounce pedants correctly is uh they will tell you it's pedants will

[3:59] tell you it's pronounced pedants they will tell you it's champing at the bit or you've got another

[4:03] think coming but real people say chomping at the bit and you've got another thing coming because they're

[4:08] make more sense they're better so much as the pedants in the ivory you've got another think coming

[4:16] no one talks about having to say that you have a thought you could say you have another thought

[4:20] coming but maybe what thing do you have coming a comeuppance another idea that's the wonderful

[4:28] thing about fingers dan is that fingers are wonderful things a thing can be anything that's what the word

[4:33] thing means it means anything or that's a hand that just crawls around on its own or a big rock man

[4:40] who smokes cigars before marvel decided its heroes didn't smoke cigars anymore and you know deep down even

Stuart Wellington

[4:46] though he looks like a rock monster man he's got a really rock monster man uh he's got like a really

[4:53] uh he's got a really like good soul you know sure he's like a good guy he's still benjamin j grim

Elliott Kalan

[4:59] his aunt petunia's favorite nephew the ever-loving blue-eyed thing or as my son calls him the anything

[5:06] or the something he's quite wrapped his mind around the idea the guy's just called the thing

[5:10] uh but dan you and your ivory tower ivy league world maybe say small timber all right but us on the

[5:18] streets the everyday folk living their lives and just trying their best to get by you say we say

[5:24] small vember nuclear we say nuclear we say uh library you say foliage you say washroom i say washroom

[5:34] yeah i say turtlet and i say small vember okay a turlet is half turtle half toilet it's a living

[5:41] as seen in teenage mutant ninja turtlets

[5:44] so small vember is what is it what do we do on this podcast we watch small vember so normally we

Dan McCoy

[5:52] like to punch up we like to make fun of big movies or at least movies that got a wide release in

[5:59] theaters movies were the people who made them go and live in fancy houses yeah but in small timber we uh

[6:06] you know we throw away our morals and decide to take on smaller movies the real passion projects

Stuart Wellington

[6:13] yeah yeah and they're usually the best and boy howdy oh gee willikers guys now this is an example

[6:21] of why we do this podcast well why don't you tell the story of how we came across this movie okay

Dan McCoy

[6:29] uh so which is called no deposit i'm gonna check on that right now we're watching

Elliott Kalan

[6:33] nope a lot of foley work there with the chair loud sound of dan i mean i i also can just look it up

Stuart Wellington

[6:39] online oh wow keeps going that's dan dropping the dvd box up dan's picking up a slide whistle

Elliott Kalan

[6:46] uh oh don't open that closet clang clang clump clump clang clang all right guys he's riding an

Dan McCoy

[6:52] elephant back i've confirmed that it's called no deposit thanks to the radius audio theater fact

Stuart Wellington

[6:58] checking session so stewart tell us the origin of no deposit okay now i have been accused in the past

[7:05] of having a suspect memory uh and i think this uh story is going to be probably the same as all the

[7:14] other ones so please write in and tell me that i was wrong but uh back in july after one of our live

[7:20] shows some fellows from canada uh came up and talked to me and dave thomas i can only assume

[7:28] and they in disguise yeah yeah yeah they were not wearing their trademark toques drinking their

[7:35] elsinore beer yeah uh and they were these two guys came up and uh had some very nice things to say

[7:43] about the show they said they were involved in the film industry and they also stuffed a dvd in your

[7:48] pants in my pants and i'm like hey guys hands off the merchandise and then i rolled some dice on the floor

[7:54] uh and then so they uh and it they explain a real goon show turn that's right yeah so they explain the uh

[8:05] that this movie is this like passion project not unlike one of your fateful findings one of your the

[8:11] rooms uh and they explain some other stuff that i i kind of just tuned out because i was riding high

Dan McCoy

[8:17] having just done a show with my favorite guys well let's explain a little bit about it uh now this is

[8:23] a this is a frank d'angelo film now frank d'angelo may be familiar to our canadian listeners

Elliott Kalan

[8:28] as an entrepreneur he owns a company that has an energy drink and for a while he has surge i believe

Dan McCoy

[8:35] uh surge i think it's surge okay that's a big one but it's canadian so it's spelled s-e-r-g-e and

Elliott Kalan

[8:41] it's a french canadian energy drink but uh i don't know that it's surge but he is he's a

[8:45] successful drink manufacturer he had a brewery for a while which failed he has a band that's named

[8:51] after his brewery which he sings in and he's also the band uh steelback brewery or the steelback 24

[8:56] or something like that and uh i think it's steelback and uh he also i mean we don't have to get into

[9:03] this but it was like we were watching the movie and i'm like this is crazy the guy's starring in the

[9:07] movie and he directs it and writes it and he's terrible and he's just some businessman and then i'm

[9:10] looking him up on wikipedia and there's the part about his sexual assault charge that he

[9:14] had to face in court and i'm like this is less fun all of a sudden although it does explain why

Dan McCoy

[9:19] every woman in the film is a harpy probably oh yeah that's true except his loving girlfriend or wife

Elliott Kalan

[9:24] no wife and he also hosts a uh a talk show that he pays to air in canada what's the name of the talk

[9:30] show the being frank show and so he's a guy who like has money and decided he wants to make movies and

[9:38] he's made a couple now and his trademark is that he hires real relatively big name actors to be them

[9:44] now before you get into the big name actors i mean that's most hollywood hollywood directors

Stuart Wellington

[9:47] trademark is hiring big name actors yeah but not you usually your passion project guys who are

Elliott Kalan

[9:53] totally outside the film industry you're neil breens if you will they don't have the wherewithal to

[9:58] and but like this guy is like it's he like he's on he's not as crazy as neil breen it's like if neil

[10:05] brain uh was on meds like taking his meds and had an accurate view of reality except that he still

[10:13] thought he was a great artist and the greatest guy in human history that's frank d'angelo okay i want

Dan McCoy

[10:18] to note uh before we get into the big you want to know what love is yeah i want to note what love is

[10:23] um uh that this the movie is totally scored by frank d'angelo songs and that the dv uh the blu-ray

[10:33] that we were given uh has a copy of frank d'angelo's album titled look into the stars and it's accompanied

[10:40] by a photo of frank d'angelo that looks to have been taken about 20 years earlier than when this

Elliott Kalan

[10:46] movie was made now frank d'angelo is a true auteur he wrote the movie he directed it he stars in it he

[10:52] cast it he gave himself a story by credit which seems redundant when he wrote the screenplay too

Stuart Wellington

[10:58] and the and just to just to point out the soundtrack that is recorded by frank d'angelo or i like to call

[11:04] him frank steely d'angelo because he provides some uh poppy upbeat jazzy little renditions of songs

[11:13] like hallelujah which is always great in a movie and live and let die was credited at the end but i

[11:17] don't remember hearing it yeah he must have disguised it really well in one of the earlier scenes

Dan McCoy

[11:22] but i what i've always wanted is a jazzy poppy uptempo version of hallelujah by the way yeah

[11:29] exactly you're like kelsey grammar is not available to sing this i guess uh frank d'angelo is our next

Elliott Kalan

[11:35] best bet so but there's there were no stars in the heavens or rather toronto uh the toronto skies

[11:41] because even though it's set in brooklyn it's very clearly not aside from the huge swaths of stock

[11:47] footage of the manhattan skyline that appears in the film but he there are all these stars there's uh

[11:52] paul sorvino there's eric roberts there's doris roberts and i have to assume what was one of her

[11:56] last roles but who's there is that a baldwin i see there's well we'll get to him there's robert

[12:01] logia playing a holocaust survivor michael madsen there's uh daniel margot kidder daniel

[12:07] baldwin playing the most anti-semitic character i've seen in a film since triumph of the will yeah

[12:13] there's peter coyote there's all the like there's a real coyote no there is a coyote from the road

[12:19] runner cartoons and i wanted to say that dominique swain is in it but in the end credits she's listed

[12:24] as domique swain so that's either a typo or it's just someone who looks like dominique swain and has

Stuart Wellington

[12:29] a very similar name it must have been really awkward at the flashy red carpet premiere where

[12:34] dominique swain showed up and they're like i'm sorry ma'am you're not on the list are you domique

Elliott Kalan

[12:38] swain no no i'm dominique swain well you're not in this film but uh it's the story of two men one who

[12:45] forgot fault who through hard times falls on the wrong side of the tracks and takes the wrong road

[12:50] and one who is the greatest billionaire saint who ever lived although we assume frank tangelo we

Dan McCoy

[12:56] assumed at the beginning of the movie that it was a mobster just entirely based on the way he talked

Elliott Kalan

[12:59] and look he also he sleeps wearing a platinum watch and platinum bracelets and a huge pinky ring and

[13:06] gold chain and gold chains and like where i'm from new jersey a big pinky ring means you're either in

Dan McCoy

[13:12] the mob or you want people to think you're in the mob yeah so you're a ringo star visiting so the movie

Elliott Kalan

[13:18] yeah i mean he doesn't show up in new jersey that often i really wanted to have some of this pizza i've

[13:24] learned so much about what else do you do in new jersey pretty much it you want to go to a diner

[13:31] sure i'll get you got a lot of them here on your turnpike

[13:34] you gotta play you gotta pay your dues if you want to play the blues

[13:39] and what else do you pay your dues than in new jersey yes i decided to take the family down to

[13:46] wildwood really okay i mean seems like you can afford to go somewhere much much greater than that

[13:51] you're gonna take a swing by sandy hook that's sandy hook but he's english i didn't get to be a beetle by

[13:57] throwing my money around maybe some guys can live like there's no tomorrow john lennon but i can't

[14:02] that was really tasteless of you ringo that was a friend of yours killed wait before his time

[14:08] well if you go to laugh about it huh i'm the one who's living off of his royalties

[14:12] ringo this is a side of you i never wanted to see this is a dark star indeed yeah

[14:19] love you ringo star you're a treasure so i decided to go down to oboken and see frank sinatra's birth

[14:27] house other words that start with h so i don't have to pronounce it now this movie begins with uh

Stuart Wellington

[14:36] information about the housing crisis recited by a barack obama sound like that's up to debate this is a

Elliott Kalan

[14:44] controversy that's been raging since the film started because the just because the sound like

[14:49] was so terrible and there's and we're given no in film evidence that except that he refers to

[14:54] himself as a leader and says he won't let it happen again the fact is that also like brock obama is a

[14:59] real president who made real speeches i don't remember him ever making that speech i don't like no it's

[15:05] not i don't so it's and brock obama doesn't show up as a character in the film so you're saying that

Stuart Wellington

[15:09] filmmakers never take historical liberties with things that well world leaders yeah that's what

[15:15] i'm saying stewart just uh just writing this down in my journal that's exactly what i'm saying but

Elliott Kalan

[15:21] okay so we're given probably what five straight minutes six straight minutes yeah of stock footage

[15:26] of new york and just economic calamity graphs going down homeless people yeah animated graphs going down

[15:32] foreclose signs being slapped on buildings while we hear this like speech by possibly barack foe obama

[15:39] people in barrels selling apples blind man with a cup full of pencils on a street corner yeah yeah of

[15:47] course stockbroker throws himself out a window and lands on a couple doing the charleston

[15:51] and they're stuffing themselves in a phone booth flag bowl sitting yeah sitting at the flag bowl

[15:57] is that like the super bowl but it's flag ball yeah it's a good question because uh like the orange

Stuart Wellington

[16:10] bowl is a uh is a football game where they play with oranges very messy yeah they got to stop the

Elliott Kalan

[16:17] plays all the time because the balls have been squeezed too hard and just exploded yeah so the movie starts

Dan McCoy

[16:22] with this guy uh the well we're we're set up to feel like this is going to be a real indictment of the

Elliott Kalan

[16:28] housing crisis yeah this is going to be about people who really are having trouble he's got a lot of big

[16:32] ideas in his mind he's tying it into real world current events i was expecting uh you know steve carell

Stuart Wellington

[16:38] with a waggy haircut to show up and start shouting at bankers christian bale to just be listening to

Elliott Kalan

[16:43] metallica while he drums on his desk now this takes place after the housing crisis as shown by the opening

[16:49] and yet later we see dominique swain smoking in a bar which has been illegal in new york since well

[16:55] before 2008 stewart you're a barkeep how do you explain this you're a tavern owner well that's the

Stuart Wellington

[17:00] thing like you can tell that uh the bar the bartender and i'm i'm hoping bar owner paul sorvino

[17:05] in this movie that would be really sad if he didn't know yeah that he's like paul sorvino was just a

[17:09] bar back yeah yeah this is uh he just works the day shift because he's not ready for the prime time

[17:15] uh well the thing is that as you can see his only customers are these people so he's like i gotta you

Elliott Kalan

[17:22] know i gotta cater to my regulars and the rules so uh we're introduced into the world of uh eric

Dan McCoy

[17:29] roberts who's a banker who is telling who's at work at 5 50 in the morning it doesn't he's talking to

Elliott Kalan

[17:35] michael perry uh from streets of fire yeah uh who is your average every man who has the hair of a man

[17:42] in his 30s even though the rest of it is wearing a 30 year old's wig yeah michael here's michael

[17:47] perry's character is this acid watch jeans too he's this put upon every man who dresses like he's

[17:52] our age a little younger and we're all in our mid to late 30s and has a wife and a very young child

[17:59] who's maybe about two years old who is an enormous child like enormous baby this is the biggest goddamn

Stuart Wellington

[18:04] baby i've ever seen he's wearing these fucking blue jeans where i'm like i saw the tag on those

[18:09] things i'm like those are bigger than my blue jeans these blue jeans have about 40 waist but he's a

Elliott Kalan

[18:16] but so this he we're supposed to believe he's a he's a man down on his luck with a young family even

[18:20] though he's clearly his children should be in college by this point but i mean that's why it's such a big

[18:25] baby but uh the child is actually 17 but so he is being told by eric roberts and we know it's early

[18:32] in the morning because eric roberts interrupts this this appointment to call another client and the

[18:37] client wakes the client up because it's 5 55 a.m so maybe this is one of those banks that's open early

[18:41] for people who have to go to work i don't understand you know like certain doctor's offices are like that

Dan McCoy

[18:46] yeah i don't know i don't know i mean like i can almost understand him like calling someone that early

[18:53] in the morning if it's really important maybe but i can't understand him interrupting another like

[18:58] meeting with a bank person who has come in making the appointment that early yeah because you look at

Stuart Wellington

[19:04] eric roberts and you see a guy who's clearly like a consummate professional never does anything

[19:09] erratically certainly doesn't comb his hair like a crazy person and loves to be up bright and early in

[19:16] the morning i'm sure but he i mean this is we have to assume he did not go to bed

Elliott Kalan

[19:20] so he calls our uh dian frank d'angelo the writer director star who's in bed and tells him

[19:28] you have to come he's dripping with jewels and gems you have to come down to with jewels and gem

[19:34] the classic french new wave posters dvd copies the original screenplay stills from the lobby cards he

[19:43] tells him oh there's your your company is getting an eight million dollar payment that's a lot of

[19:47] money there's these new rules you have to come down and sign for it yourself but you have six to seven

[19:52] days to do it that's why i'm calling you so early in the morning he then hangs up and then turns to

[19:57] his client and says you haven't met your payments we're taking your house away he's like i just

Dan McCoy

[20:03] wanted to do that call in the middle to uh really rub it in that other people have more money than

Elliott Kalan

[20:07] what a power this guy so much got so much money he'll just stop by in a week maybe to pick up

Stuart Wellington

[20:12] eight million bucks great is he calls this this uh frank d'angelo's character jimmy valenti

[20:19] he calls him jack valenti he doesn't answer right away like he and his his wife argue about how

[20:26] tired they are it's too early they're not going to pick up they argue for a while and then eric

[20:29] roberts like you know what i'm just going to give him another shot and he calls him a second time

[20:35] and it finally gets him on the phone and there we see our director uh the first shot of him is

[20:39] lying in bed with the camera pointed directly up his nostrils and also the first two scenes with this

Elliott Kalan

[20:45] character he talks to eric roberts on the phone then he calls an employee of his to tell him he has to

[20:51] go down and sign this thing our director does not open his eyes i think once the entire time

[20:56] he is sleeping through the starring role in his own film yeah i mean he's so into it that's what's

Stuart Wellington

[21:03] like he's so like kind of locked in and keyed in yeah and i guess it also shows us that he doesn't

Elliott Kalan

[21:07] sweat the small stuff he isn't gonna let this ruin his sleep because here's the thing he dresses like

[21:13] a gangster he wears these big pinky rings black leather jacket over black t-shirt with black pants

[21:18] his wife tells him oh i bought you a nice suit he goes um that's not what i wear but a but a

[21:22] but and he's driving around everything about him screams mobster and i thought okay this is gonna be a

[21:27] movie about a mobster who's breaking the law and succeeding and an ordinary joe who's trying to

[21:32] play by the rules and is failing to show that the system is rigged au contraire it turns out that he

[21:38] is not a mobster he is a successful businessman who's also the greatest man in the world but we'll get

Stuart Wellington

[21:42] to that yes he's he's a man who only eats one big meal a day he says and he likes and it's made very

Elliott Kalan

[21:49] clear when he meets with his executives in what is certainly not the only free room in a in an office

Dan McCoy

[21:55] it's clearly like i mean like it might be his office space because it's all i mean like if it's not

[22:01] his products are all over the walls yeah his products are all over the walls it's all energy

Elliott Kalan

[22:05] but those could be his characters products a lot of this movie also we should mention was shot clearly

[22:09] in a hotel lobby hotel restaurant and hotel banquet room and uh and hotel it's like it's very poorly

Stuart Wellington

[22:17] disguised are you talking about how the new york police department uh seems to share an office

[22:22] with like a marketing company or something and interrogates people at what is clearly the

Elliott Kalan

[22:28] breakfast buffet area of the hotel that the bank and also his wife's tea room that she goes to

[22:34] visit appear to be the same banquet hall in the in the hotel uh everywhere looks like lobbies i mean

Stuart Wellington

[22:42] his boardroom where this you know like very wealthy guy doesn't worry about money the boardroom for his

[22:48] company which is a very large building with a name that is i mean it's so high tech that they literally

[22:55] have the name like drawn on in photoshop basically uh his boardroom has like a cork board in it

Elliott Kalan

[23:04] with with printouts that say like sales force winner 2014 just just pop on it it's it's a real

[23:14] mix of what we're supposed to be taking from the film and what we're actually taking from the film but

[23:18] anyway so while frank d'angelo is is riding high except he's got to go through the trouble of

[23:23] the uh has to go through the trouble of signing for this payment of eight million dollars this other

[23:31] guy what was his name nicky mickey ryan mickey ryan ordinary joe he can't find work he can't afford his

[23:39] house his wife hates him she screams at him to get to the baby the baby loves him because he's great

Stuart Wellington

[23:44] she's like many women in this movie has a nightstand covered in empty booze bottles every every woman

Elliott Kalan

[23:49] except frank d'angelo's wife in this is an alcoholic shrill harpy except for uh frank d'angelo's wife and the

[23:56] uh best-selling author slash expert on hostage situations who appears on the news later can't

Dan McCoy

[24:01] seem to stop grinning while reporting on a hostage situation we'll get to that dan you had one thing

Elliott Kalan

[24:06] you wanted to say is it about how mic how mickey can't even afford a hot dog with soda he has to

[24:10] just get the hot dog oh you can't afford to pay the extra dollar for a drink four dollars dude for a

Stuart Wellington

[24:15] hot dog and a drink that's fucking crazy and he says how much for the hot dog three dollars three

Elliott Kalan

[24:20] dollars for a street hot dog that should be a two dollar dog only in toronto pretending to be new york

[24:25] let me just say one thing i recently paid ten dollars for a hot dog it was at an airport there's

[24:30] always a markup i was like you know what i'm used to paying you pay 15 a hot dog in an airport here's

[24:37] why because i got a hamburger my son wanted a hot dog this hot dog arrived it was easily 15 inches

[24:45] long and it was delicious and so i'll tell you this so you you're like uh sir i'd like to return this

Stuart Wellington

[24:51] hamburger and pay the additional three dollars to get the hot dog option because you're gonna refund

Elliott Kalan

[24:56] the unused portion of this hamburger and i want you to apply that credit to the hot dog i'll pay the

[25:01] rest it would be like a buck so here's my tip for those who are interested if you're ever in the

[25:07] phoenix airport just go ahead and get a hot dog okay what's the what was the purveyor of this hot

Stuart Wellington

[25:13] meat don't remember it's hot beef oh wow don't remember i would it was just such sweet ambrosia i

[25:19] couldn't hold it in my memory yeah yeah it's clouded the memories so anyway that was elliot kalen's hot

Elliott Kalan

[25:23] hot dog adventure story the hot dog diaries i wrote that in an email sent it to david hot dog

[25:30] coveney

[25:31] and he reads it while walking a hot dog on a leash yeah because he uh his character in that show is

Stuart Wellington

[25:38] david red shoe coveney

[25:40] you don't know that it isn't so dan you wanted to say something about mickey or downtrodden here

Dan McCoy

[25:47] no all i wanted to say was like he's got a great head of hair his wife has no sympathy for him in

[25:54] this eviction process like she's blames him he's a loser yeah well this is just like this is what i

[25:59] want to say everybody in mickey's life appears to blame him for his misfortune yeah now we don't

[26:06] know whether he deserves that there's no backstory and we know that at least at one point he was

Elliott Kalan

[26:10] financially supporting his brother and his brother's which we find out later at first we see him as just

[26:14] like a loser his father his brother who seems to be allergic to shirts oh boy and if there's one

Dan McCoy

[26:21] guy you should be wearing a shirt with this guy i've never like i'm like this might be a harsh

[26:26] indictment of hollywood's beauty standards but i've never seen as big a pot belly in a film i mean

[26:32] that was not a pot belly yeah it was a cauldron belly

[26:35] it was barrel chested and that barrel was bulging it was a bit yeah botulism you could have hollowed

Elliott Kalan

[26:44] out that barrel chest and put it on you because you're poor and you lost everything in the stock market

Stuart Wellington

[26:48] crash casting notes say toad like okay now i feel like we've gone too far

Elliott Kalan

[26:54] yeah the so the thing is we're looking for a we're looking for a middle-aged man actor for this role

[27:02] description uh if the if the the lead boss bad guy from super mario 2 was a person

[27:08] sort of a king hippo type okay we're going too far okay he's had a long acting career

Stuart Wellington

[27:15] the uh and like his wife she says you know your son's never gonna grow up to be like you which is

[27:21] like no shit he's already fully grown she's gonna leave him and not share the circus earnings of her

Elliott Kalan

[27:26] giant baby baby man uh so the only place mickey can find solace is at alfie's paul sorvino's bar

[27:35] uh where the only other uh customers seem to be dominique swain as as girl who just stands in front

[27:43] of the jukebox all the time hussy number one who she's michael madsen's girlfriend i guess michael

[27:47] madsen who's playing the part of low life sleazebag and daniel baldwin who is playing the most

[27:54] anti-semitic character yeah i've seen in any movies that's not about world war ii or about skinheads

Stuart Wellington

[28:03] in years when you're watching one of these cash grab performances you're assuming like they're in and

[28:09] out they're just doing it for the bucks but it feels like daniel baldwin's like okay sure yeah

[28:15] what do you want me to say i'll say that for money call jewish people what lampshades that's insane

Elliott Kalan

[28:20] he talks about how he says what comes between monday and wednesday jews day that's when they take

[28:26] everything from you these jews own it running the banks stealing everything from us and it's like

[28:30] wow he throws the k word around a bunch of times it's like like i don't even like i don't even remember

Dan McCoy

[28:36] like i maybe it's just because they don't hang out with like a bunch of anti-semites and bars but i

[28:40] don't remember like the financial crisis being blamed specifically on like the jewish people i

Elliott Kalan

[28:47] mean i'm sure i'm sure anti-semites did yeah there were a lot of jewish people involved in those

[28:51] companies i mean lehman brothers is a jewish name you know not brothers yeah i mean anti-semitic

Stuart Wellington

[28:57] people blamed the delay of the video game no man's sky on the jewish people all right but yeah but that

Elliott Kalan

[29:03] was because uh because the domanskiewicz family sued them for a piece of the action but it's it comes

[29:09] out of nowhere and it's like wait i thought this movie was going to be about the financial crisis i

[29:13] didn't know it was going to be about racism yeah and daniel baldwin really throws himself into this

Stuart Wellington

[29:18] anti-semitic part it's it's very weird and he looks enough like alec baldwin that if you kind

[29:23] of squint your eyes a little bit you could imagine alec baldwin saying that yeah and like i don't think

Dan McCoy

[29:28] the believer had this much open anti-semitism in it i'd also like to point out that michael madsen

[29:33] and daniel baldwin are wearing the same shirts and two successive scenes that are supposed to take

Elliott Kalan

[29:38] place on different days yeah that's why they're super low lives dude yeah they only have two shirts

[29:42] you know why because the jews took the other ones early british tailors won't be charging too much for

Stuart Wellington

[29:47] shirts yeah uh so yeah so also that scene featured dominique swain uh dominique swain playing the jukebox

[29:55] we'd seen her earlier in a scene where she had super weird interactions throwing herself at jimmy valenti

Elliott Kalan

[30:02] at one point and so jimmy valenti is driving down the street he gets out and he accidentally bumps into

[30:07] mickey and knocks him down once again their paths cross yeah it's like a dickens novel and so he helps

[30:13] him up hey man you okay you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders all right

[30:17] well be good thus establishing he cares about everybody he sees he's such a sweet man he's got such an

Dan McCoy

[30:23] open heart that and like in his business uh uh meeting he's like very keen on telling the people

[30:31] like whatever charity we give to i want to make sure that the money goes to the actual people not the

Elliott Kalan

[30:35] administrative 80 to 90 percent and the guy who's handling the charity just keeps saying i know that's

[30:40] how you roll jimmy so that's yeah that's the thing i took care of it i know that i know how you roll so

[30:45] and it is like he's trying that out it's like an older white man he's like i'm gonna try and be a little

Stuart Wellington

[30:51] hipper and maybe jimmy will recognize that i like this new thing that kids are saying how you roll

Elliott Kalan

[30:56] because it's like that's you know what i like a good roll yeah sometimes let me just be honest

[31:02] true confessions here i'm like okay father i've sinned when i go to the restaurant sometimes

[31:06] what i'm really looking forward to is the roll not even the main course or the dessert it's crazy i know

[31:13] but that's just how i roll i'm gonna use it in the meeting tomorrow okay honey and his wife is like

[31:17] go to bed it's three in the morning please stop talking about rolls every night this will be the one

[31:25] time in the movie that a woman is justifiably angry at the man let me go to bed stop talking about

[31:31] rolls so he's just a sweetheart he's just a honey pie and long story short they meet at their uh

[31:38] mickey uh stays with his brother and his brother's wife says i want that loser out of my fucking house

[31:44] he's a fucking loser you're a fucking loser he's a piece of shit this is in a great scene in a bedroom

Stuart Wellington

[31:49] where that's where we're introduced to the idea that this movie's like these characters are just not

[31:53] gonna wear very many clothes no get used to it the brother who's an older gentleman is just

Elliott Kalan

[31:59] sitting there in almost no clothes and so the next day he says you gotta leave uh she doesn't want

[32:04] you here and mickey's like i supported you for two years now you're throwing me out and uh so he's

[32:10] got no choice the only people who care about him are michael madison and daniel baldwin what why did

Stuart Wellington

[32:15] they why was the brother character shirtless in that scene uh this is the morning i mean he couldn't

[32:22] just toss one on i mean if you're gonna be throwing somebody out like you're gonna have that kind of

[32:25] hard conversation you don't want to like throw something i don't know sometimes when i will go over

Dan McCoy

[32:29] your house you're wandering around in your underwear yeah but that's i guess that's the same thing it's

Stuart Wellington

[32:33] a power play like you want to show off you want to be like who's who's the big guy around here it's

Elliott Kalan

[32:38] an intimidation technique like lyndon johnson would call people into the bathroom with him you'd think

[32:43] that would put him in the shameful position no no no he's he's making you feel uncomfortable so what

[32:49] his brother joe was saying is hey this is me this is this is me naked to the world and you know

[32:56] what that should make me vulnerable but it makes you uncomfortable i'm comfortable with my body all

[33:01] of it you're the one who's not comfortable with it shame on you get out of my house because my wife

Dan McCoy

[33:06] told me you have to leave but his sister-in-law is another person calling mickey a loser we also get

Elliott Kalan

[33:11] mickey's mom calling him a loser he goes to his mom he goes to a bingo parlor where his mom margot

[33:16] kidder is playing bingo with doris roberts and he asked for her for help and she refuses doris roberts

[33:22] has a heartbreaking monologue about how her son died of heroin died of suicide after a heroin

[33:27] addiction which he repeats twice once with margot kidder out of the room and once with her bag in

[33:32] the room and uh but so he's got nowhere to turn except these two anti-semites he joins their group he

Stuart Wellington

[33:38] doesn't get his his head totally shaved but it's really great it's this great transformative moment

[33:43] where we are greeted to flashbacks to scenes from earlier the movie just over and over

Elliott Kalan

[33:48] pow pow pow pow i forgot about that sydney lumet uh pawnbroker the devil knows when the devil uh what's the

[33:55] devil knows you're dead what was that before the devil before before the devil knows your dead style

[33:59] where it's just like pop pop shots from the past shots from the past but it's like they're all like

Dan McCoy

[34:03] these gauzy like it's like a 19 early 90s like r&b music well because that's what the music is when it comes in

Elliott Kalan

[34:12] then there's some kind of love song right yeah i mean most of the music song from no deposit the love

Stuart Wellington

[34:17] theme from no deposit it sounds like the kind of love song you would hear in an 80s action movie

[34:23] that's clearly like kind of from the 50s or 60s and you're like i guess cool people listen to this

Elliott Kalan

[34:28] when they're like about to hook up but he's getting his head shaved and a tattoo put on his neck yeah

Stuart Wellington

[34:32] they call a tattoo artist and for some reason into the bar yeah uh that's got to be against health code

Elliott Kalan

[34:39] i would have to assume so i mean there's blood coming out of his body in a place that people are

[34:43] ingesting drinks so paul servino he already lets people smoke in there he doesn't care about the

[34:46] rules well that's the thing he's gotta he's gotta keep his regulars happy yeah and so they instantly

[34:53] go he instantly goes from just a normal guy down on his luck to a skinhead who is robbing a bank

[34:58] with michael madsen and daniel baltman that bank full of jewish people yep and very jewish very

Stuart Wellington

[35:03] clearly in the uh in like the conference center of a large or to mid-size hotel ironically this movie

Elliott Kalan

[35:11] that was trying to make a stance against anti-semitism was doing something anti-semitic itself by taking

[35:15] up a ballroom that should have had a bar mitzvah in it yeah some some unlucky toronto jewish boy

[35:22] had to have his bar mitzvah at the synagogue because they couldn't couldn't rent the event space at the

Dan McCoy

[35:27] local hilton honors hotel i'm guessing yeah uh i'm very mixed up about what the movie's feelings about

Elliott Kalan

[35:35] the jewish people are like because they because they're only shown in banks yeah i mean i think

Dan McCoy

[35:41] that we're supposed to not sympathize with the anti-semitic talk but at the same time it's not

Elliott Kalan

[35:48] really refuted particularly strongly either well i feel like the movie doesn't really need to refute that

[35:53] i guess i don't think the movie needs to show a jewish person being great so that the audience

[35:57] is like oh daniel baldwin was wrong about that jews aren't evil our hero doesn't even turn around

Dan McCoy

[36:03] he's just like at the end of the movie he's just like i want to go home i i don't you know it's wrong

[36:08] to shoot people yeah it is are you and you disagree with the message it's wrong to shoot people well

[36:13] i i don't think that it's particularly more wrong to shoot one type of person than another type of

[36:18] all lives matter heard it here first wow wow dan wow jesus dude oh my god just rewind the take

Stuart Wellington

[36:25] you know what delete it yeah you've shown your true colors the all right so this is where the

[36:31] confluence of events leads us to the ultimate showdown because jimmy valenti has shown up to the bank

[36:37] to pick up his eight million dollars and or sign for it just to sign the papers because apparently

[36:42] that's the thing you have to do now eric roberts comes out from behind the desk happy as a clam

[36:46] jittery as hell and he is walking like a man with one and a half legs

Elliott Kalan

[36:52] that was that cbs sitcom right one and a half legs and uh but that's when our villains walk in

[37:00] shoot a security guard in the head instantly immediately and also

Stuart Wellington

[37:04] and actually what it looks like a pretty decent uh use of special effects yeah that was a pretty good

[37:09] special and uh they also wrap a giant link uh length of chain around the doors which we later see

[37:15] uh does not prevent people from opening the door the doors open from the outside later the chain

Elliott Kalan

[37:20] falls off armless it sloughs off like a snake skin now we didn't mention that there's also two

[37:25] policemen who i think are both named tony who are called are called in by for no particular reason

[37:32] called in by police chief peter coyote who tells them in his ken burns tones that he knows they've

[37:38] been working really hard he needs them to work another shift even though they they're owed a day off

[37:43] they've been working on the fox case for for days and the media is howling down his throat and there's

[37:49] so much stuff going on in the city that he needs them to work two more days this is in his office in

[37:53] the police station that as stewart mentioned also has a business group of some kind sharing the office

[37:57] and there's a poster in the in the hallway that seems to be like either an ad or an employee of

Stuart Wellington

[38:02] the month or something like that judging by their accents these two uh detectives just recently

Elliott Kalan

[38:06] uh transferred from saskatchewan oh everyone in the movie except for the name stars is very much

[38:12] brooklyn by way of canada yeah yeah and are it's it's like what's the matter eh yeah i was walking a

[38:20] boot here anyway uh but that's besides what so they're on they these guys take hostages at the bank they

[38:27] especially don't like that the jewish people are there but then the anti-semitic stuff kind of takes

[38:32] a back seat it doesn't really appear that well first i mean the first the criminals uh knock eric

Stuart Wellington

[38:38] roberts down and kick him a bunch and each time they hit him they use foley effects of like eggs

Elliott Kalan

[38:43] breaking it's the craziest thing i've seen in a real movie it's like he's got empty like he took a bunch

[38:50] of eggs and pulled the yolk out without breaking the shell and then stuffed it all in his pants

[38:55] so that each kick is like crunch crunch and uh i mean there was still like a little jewish stuff

Dan McCoy

[39:02] though when like uh our hero or uh the frank d'angelo right that's his name yeah jimmy valanti yeah uh he

[39:12] gets shot by uh one of the guys when he's trying to defend a young girl and the granddaughter i'm

Stuart Wellington

[39:21] assuming or possibly daughter i don't know what kind of logic is robert logia robert logia who

[39:26] is playing a holocaust survivor but but mickey's like what he's not a jew

Dan McCoy

[39:31] like it's like it's like we're here to shoot jewish people that's right i forgot about that

Elliott Kalan

[39:36] no so yeah they're robert logia that's right he goes i've seen the devil you're nothing and he rolls

[39:42] up his sleeve he's got numbers tattooed on his arm he's a survivor now i don't know if it's

[39:46] better or worse that he does not attempt to do any sort of eastern european accent he's he's apparently

[39:53] a halt maybe he came over as a kid or a teenager and he worked really hard to get his accent away

[39:58] he was so traumatized by his time in the camps but this i don't know he seems pretty comfortable

Stuart Wellington

[40:04] with himself and uh kind of self-assured like i don't feel like he would try and hide anything i

[40:10] guess well i mean there's there's no obfuscation with robert loge's performance the confidence may

Elliott Kalan

[40:13] come from the fact that he's like i recreated myself in my life and i didn't let that tragedy

[40:17] define me because if i've learned anything from the from meeting holocaust survivors it's that one

[40:23] the holocaust was terrible and two and okay either i mean there's there's this is going to sound

[40:28] terrible there's really there's two types those who never want to talk about and those who want to

[40:32] talk about nothing else and there's two there are people who are shattered by it and then there are

[40:37] survivors who kind of seem to take confidence in a way from it that like i survived the worst possible

[40:43] thing that could ever happen to a person and that didn't destroy me so i can handle anything and so

[40:49] like he's the second type i guess and that uh he's like you know what i'm not gonna let this bank

[40:54] robbery get to me because i stared down hitler yeah yeah michael madsen and one of the baldwin's are not

[41:01] gonna put me down and they punch him and he goes you punch like a girl and later he gets the best line

[41:07] in the movie uh after everything's been taken care of he goes uh oh so frank d'angelo gets shot he

[41:14] recognizes that hey this is the guy i picked up off the sidewalk before and no no and he the guy goes

[41:19] hey he helped me i'm gonna take him in another room they have a little heart to heart frank d'angelo

[41:23] says i guess the moral of the movie and that's nice to be great but it's great to be nice but

Stuart Wellington

[41:27] that's the moment when the other bank robbers are like oh yeah our possibly susceptible to coercion

[41:32] friend we are able to turn to our cause in under a day yeah let's let him go in the other room with

[41:39] that incredibly handsome and charismatic wounded man yeah i mean the handsome part uh super tall and

Dan McCoy

[41:45] wealthy but i also just wonder what they're doing out there just like all right well you go in the back

[41:49] for a while we'll just keep standing here with our guns especially because they don't seem to want

Elliott Kalan

[41:53] money but then by this point the police are surrounding the bank yeah and there's a massive crowd

Stuart Wellington

[41:58] forming between the bank and the expansive tree line of downtown brooklyn

[42:02] yeah downtown brooklyn really seems to have a lot of wooded highway access it was interesting enough

[42:09] that it was in that crowd scene that i finally was like oh there's a non-white person in brooklyn

[42:14] apparently because the first uh the first people of color showed up and meanwhile we're getting a lot

Dan McCoy

[42:20] of uh news reports from uh what was the guy's name frank uh ambrosia i think it was yeah frank

Elliott Kalan

[42:26] ambrosio ambrosio and his and his report on the scene it's frank ambrosia to his friends yeah and

[42:32] his his report on the scene which his name i think was fred lepko

[42:35] matthew lesko and this is a movie where we see everything that's happening we know the backstory of

[42:42] these characters it cuts to a news break and we watch for a while for like three minutes a reporter

[42:47] explained that he doesn't really know what's going on with the situation we don't even see the

Dan McCoy

[42:50] reporter's face which is realistic but we don't need to see that in a movie we're watching the anchor

Elliott Kalan

[42:54] just listening to it and it's like did they want the audience to jump in and fill in the reporter on

Dan McCoy

[42:59] or yeah meanwhile uh all of the uh people in uh mickey's life are watching this tragedy unfold on

Elliott Kalan

[43:08] television his wife sees it at the fancy tea room where she's meeting her friend his mom mickey's

[43:12] wife mickey's wife is at the circus with the giant baby mickey's wife is not interested i know uh

[43:16] frank's wife frank's wife sees it mickey's mom sees it mickey's brother sees it which finally gives him

[43:22] the strength to stand up to his wife in the best scene in the movie delivers the best line i've said

[43:28] earlier robert loja the best line i was wrong joe has the best line his his his wife goes your

[43:33] your loser brother's robbing a bank and she already said like gay go get me some more fucking vodka if

[43:38] you can handle that you loser that's how she talks to him all the time and he goes what my brother is in

[43:44] trouble robbing a bank and uh stewart do you want to deliver his his classic i think dan wants to

Dan McCoy

[43:49] deliver it i don't know if i remember it exactly but it was something like i sold on my brother for

Stuart Wellington

[43:54] pussy and you're a cunt that's floating what he says after he fucking spikes the vodka bottle on the

Elliott Kalan

[44:02] ground she's like hey you might want to you might want to do a uh an explicit language a special warning

[44:07] on this yeah because that that word the c word is one i don't like to say but it's hilarious

[44:12] it escalates the movie suddenly to a like it goes from like 60 to 100 and you're like wait what did

Stuart Wellington

[44:19] he just say it would be terrible if some plucky listener took an audio clip of dan saying that

[44:25] no i don't know turned it into something like a ringtone oh boy and uh and so the next time we see

Elliott Kalan

[44:31] joe he's talking to a policeman again in the in the police station slash hotel restaurant and he's

[44:36] he's establishing what we already know that his brother lost everything he lost his house and the

[44:41] cop is like wait he lost his house he lost his wife his his baby his house so they took his house

[44:46] away he lost his house his house he lost it they lost his house where he lives with his family

[44:54] it's like they spent the phrase he lost his house has spoken so many times but back to the bank robbery

Stuart Wellington

[45:00] so to make a long story short so that but that are that conversation they're having that breakfast nook

[45:04] in that in that booth that they're sharing that's apparently the hot box in the police department

[45:09] the that scene clearly shows this detective sitting down with the brother and he's like oh wow your

[45:16] brother's a bad guy and then by the end of he's like he lost his house no he's clearly a hero

Elliott Kalan

[45:22] yeah uh yeah he turns around meanwhile and i think that same policeman is also supposed to be at the

[45:27] bank at the exact same time yeah yeah uh the swat team is there they're next door to each other

Stuart Wellington

[45:31] uh the bank the police station makes sense you want to put the bank somewhere safe and the tea room is

Elliott Kalan

[45:35] next door to that it's new york's really a small town alfie's bar is right right next to it just

[45:40] because it's a neighborhood story yeah yeah that's true what neighborhood of brooklyn was this by the

Dan McCoy

[45:44] way uh it's uh you're gonna say borough park aren't you it's whoosh doesn't exist yeah

Elliott Kalan

[45:54] uh dragon wick yeah uh so they make a long story short about the the heist because the heist the

[46:01] hostage situation not actually that interesting well it's pretty funny but shooting happens uh

[46:07] the got mickey gets shot frank has already been shot through the shoulder a guy who said who it

[46:12] turns out frank d'angelo playing jimmy oh sorry jimmy is right yeah there's so it's so hard to tell

[46:16] him apart yeah he's already established where one begins and one ends his bona fides is a great man

[46:22] because mickey says hey let him go you can go and he goes i could go but my balls wouldn't come along

[46:28] for the ride or something like that he wouldn't be a man if he walked out of that situation and so

[46:33] at the last moment even though he's been shot in the shoulder he uses that hand to pick up a gun

[46:38] and shoot the two robbers after they've already shot mickey yeah there's a plainclothes cop there

Stuart Wellington

[46:43] that tries to intercede and uh frank d'angelo's character pulls him down so that he doesn't get

Elliott Kalan

[46:49] shot and then kills both bank robbers now not since the taking of pelham one two three my favorite

[46:53] movie has there been a less effective undercover cop who just jumps out i'm a cop and then immediately

[46:58] gets either shot or pulled to the ground frank d uh jimmy valente slash frank d'angelo is a saint

[47:04] is a hero robert loja delivers what i thought was the first best line until i remember joe's

[47:09] argument with his wife the best second best line of the movie which is bring a bring a stretcher for

[47:14] this good man get garbage bags for these pieces of shit and uh they the hospital beds are wheeled out

Dan McCoy

[47:23] and then everyone seems to have forgotten that mickey was part of the the hostage situation by this time

[47:28] because they're like that's how they pitch it though like they like say literally they're like these

[47:33] two guys fell this hostage and they're like i'm like what what do you mean these two guys there

[47:38] was a third man another favorite of mine uh who knows because the more important thing is that

Elliott Kalan

[47:47] these guys who both have been shot they both need medical attention their stretchers are allowed to

[47:52] sit right outside the entrance of the bank while every character they know rushes through the police

Dan McCoy

[47:56] line and has a moment with them yeah they they allow paul sorvino the his bartender to come up and have

Elliott Kalan

[48:04] a little bedside moment not his mom but his mom's friend from the bingo parlor runs up to have a

[48:08] moment with him and tell her she loves him margot kidder was in some bushes somewhere she couldn't be

Dan McCoy

[48:12] bothered oh paul sorvino he sees the news story with those three guys robbing the bank he was just

Stuart Wellington

[48:19] kidding margot kidder yeah oh so sorry so paul sorvino sees this news story of these three guys having

[48:24] robbed the bank and he goes you can see that look on his face where he's like oh shit they're my only

Elliott Kalan

[48:29] customers i bet a curry favor with the only guy left the only survivor otherwise it's just me and

Stuart Wellington

[48:35] dominique swain i'm sorry dummy swain yep who's playing some weird song in the jukebox and dancing

Elliott Kalan

[48:40] along now also this is all while uh frank d'angelo's cover of leonard cohen's hallelujah is playing

[48:47] and a a parade of orthodox jews walk out of the bank i assume thanking god that a man like jimmy

Stuart Wellington

[48:53] valenti was created and it's thanks to watchmen that this is the second worst use of that song in a

Elliott Kalan

[48:59] movie uh and after that uh that's pretty much it there's no there's no coda or anything uh oh oh i

Dan McCoy

[49:10] i remember what it was uh jimmy like asks he's being wheeled out tells eric roberts to pay off that

[49:15] he's gonna pay off mickey's uh mortgage and it's just like well that's a nice gesture but mickey's

[49:22] clearly going to jail for a very long time i don't know why i mean he suggested that he'll also pay for

Stuart Wellington

[49:27] his legal fees but that doesn't that's not going to help the fact that like he still doesn't have a job

[49:33] he still i mean is pretty easily convinced into doing bad things like he has a neck tattoo now like

Elliott Kalan

[49:39] that doesn't go away that's permanent dude i mean you can get those removed i assume jimmy's gonna pay that

Stuart Wellington

[49:43] that bill also he's gonna pay to get his neck tattoo removed he's gonna adopt him he's gonna now he's

Elliott Kalan

[49:48] his ward at that point he's just gonna be we already think that jimmy has like a driver slash gopher

[49:53] who's obsessed with keeping jimmy's car clean and when j he goes up to him he says i apologize i

[49:58] didn't have a chance to clean the car i expected him to just pull out his sword and commit seppuku

[50:03] right there in front of him he is so apologetic because well and he is wearing he is wearing a ponytail so

Stuart Wellington

[50:08] you assume that he's way into highlander the movie you have to assume like jimmy valente is such a

Elliott Kalan

[50:14] living saint people love him so much that when they fail him even in the slightest

[50:19] it they they hurt it hurts them yeah all their misdeeds are reflected upon them like the pennant stare

[50:23] they've yeah yeah like ghost rider uh so they they uh when he's told that he has to go sign for this

[50:29] loan and he goes to not loan this payment and he goes to his office they go oh yeah these new rules

[50:35] payroll should have dealt with it but they didn't he goes hey everyone makes mistakes don't yell at

[50:41] payroll about it don't make them feel bad we'll just send out a memo saying these are the rules now

[50:45] tell them i'm a charity so like that's he's just the the sweetest boss in the world and the moral of

[50:50] the story is that frank d'angelo by extension must be a great man and the moral of the story is you

Stuart Wellington

[50:54] should go out and watch this movie just watch it if you want to watch this crazy passion project that

Dan McCoy

[50:59] is a love letter to himself and the movie ends with a bunch of uh slow-mo black and white sequence uh

[51:08] shots of all the characters all the big stars that we've seen almost he may have gone out of his way

Elliott Kalan

[51:12] to find the least flattering picture of almost all of them eric roberts's is him like crying with

Stuart Wellington

[51:18] blood dripping out of his nose yeah crawling around the on the floor mourning the loss of his testicles

[51:25] whereas the picture of frank d'angelo in there is beatific almost oh yes peter paul rubens painted

Dan McCoy

[51:30] this shit uh yeah so we should do our final judgments about this movie whether it's a good bad movie

[51:37] a bad bad movie or a movie you kind of like is there any doubt stew i feel like you this is a good great

Stuart Wellington

[51:43] movie this is a movie where the financier of the movie the writer director star not only plays this awesome

[51:51] businessman but he also i think gets approached while on a stretcher having been shot by the chief

[51:57] of police who basically is like you want the key to the city and you can be chief of police if you

Elliott Kalan

[52:02] want because you're the best shot i've ever seen yeah it's great and he he acts like a gangster dresses

[52:09] like a gangster no turns out he's the best of us you start watching this movie and you're like okay

Stuart Wellington

[52:14] this is pretty slow and you know it takes a little bit of time before it starts cooking oh boy

Dan McCoy

[52:19] that first five minutes of info dump that's something that we didn't mention is that the

[52:23] movie takes a really long time to set up everything before like the hostage situation and the hostage

[52:29] situation like starts and is resolved in like half an hour oh boy when that pot gets boiling yum yum

Elliott Kalan

[52:35] and this is an 80 minute movie right yeah that's the other thing we should mention go watch this movie

[52:41] book block out you have 80 minutes i'm sure block out an hour and a half for it and then spend the

[52:45] last 10 minutes masturbating in joy that such a thing exists as this weird vanity project yeah no i i

Dan McCoy

[52:53] think this is a good bad movie the one thing that like helps me back a little bit is like the weird

[52:59] anti-semitism of the movie like it feels like an off note in the same way that like there are a lot of

[53:04] i feel like good bad or trashy movies out there that like throw in a rape scene and you're like why is

[53:09] this in here this ruin the movie but uh but for the most part it's not enough to like be like i find

Elliott Kalan

[53:15] it's just another it's just another weirdo thread in the crazy quilt that is this film

[53:21] and it's okay i'm saying this i'm jewish it's okay for you to watch this oh wow yeah yeah

[53:25] i'm giving you anyone who's the gatekeeper here dan anyone who's not jewish i'm giving you official

Dan McCoy

[53:30] permission okay so no deposit uh you're looking at the dvd again to make sure that was the right

Stuart Wellington

[53:38] name yeah it's kind of hard to remember because it has nothing to do with the soundtrack this name

[53:42] the soundtrack is a different look to the stars or something uh look into the stars look into the

[53:48] stars which is a good way to go blind yeah but it's also like if you look at the cover of the box

S4

[53:52] it's just covered in stars mugs shirts stickers patches tanks and more are yours for the purchasing

[54:03] at maxfundstore.com hey you already love the podcasts so why not take this to the next level

[54:09] and outfit your home and bod with our merch maxfundstore.com because if you have to wear a shirt it should be one of ours

Dan McCoy

[54:19] uh next up we uh do a few have you seen this show before ads you think after okay you know i i didn't

Stuart Wellington

[54:29] bring it up in august even though i should have but august marked the nine year anniversary of this

Elliott Kalan

[54:34] stupid podcast yikes i wasn't here for all that time but i'm still gonna take credit for it

[54:40] you were there for most of it like eight and a half years some of it that's crazy uh you know that's

[54:47] that's a popular anniversary to celebrate nine years yeah not we've been we should get each other

[54:52] anniversary gifts so that'd be nice we've been doing this podcast longer than either steward or i

[54:56] have been married yeah we've been doing this podcast longer than dan at this point wait no that's not

[55:03] true it's not actually true uh we've been we will we will reach that point yeah yeah but it's longer

[55:10] than uh what barack obama's president that's true yeah yeah it was a different nation when we

[55:17] started this people needed to laugh they needed to laugh that's a crazy amount of time to be doing

Stuart Wellington

[55:24] what year was that 2007 was when a little movie called stealth graced my dvd player in my uh the

[55:33] bedroom in the apartment i shared with two other people and i stuffed a single rock band microphone

Dan McCoy

[55:39] in a homemade shock absorber that i made from putting some rubber bands oh that's weird because

Stuart Wellington

[55:44] everyone has commented that those early episodes had amazing sound quality great so i revisit them so

Dan McCoy

[55:50] often yeah don't listen to the early episodes guys so many memories that's a long that's a long time

Elliott Kalan

[55:56] this is the longest i've done almost anything uh except live okay now that i've juiced us up

Stuart Wellington

[56:04] what's the next stage of this game ads uh which is to say the piper that the flop house don't come cheap

Dan McCoy

[56:12] yeah the flop house uh is supported by squarespace the simplest way to create a compelling website

[56:19] in the strange the downright bizarre great stories define us you should tell yours with simple tools and

[56:24] templates squarespace helps you capture your store with a captivating website now dan i got a question

Elliott Kalan

[56:31] about squarespace okay i've got an idea for a website i kind of mentioned it earlier i'm surprised

[56:36] it's called www.teenagefutantinjatertletes.org and it's these new crazy characters they're the toilets

[56:44] they're also teenagers who are mutants and they're ninjas and i want to i figured you know what

[56:51] don't bother with tv tv's broken thanks to uh you know people are cutting cords left and right

[56:56] yeah and they're streaming stuff they shouldn't cut those cords i mean like the cords aren't the

[57:00] problem you got to cut the cord yeah so of course baby's born okay you can't just leave it attached

[57:05] yeah that's crazy that's nuts you want to wait till the last jolts of blood are pumped through that

[57:10] cord well because that's the super strength blood then you cut the shit out of that thing you put on

Stuart Wellington

[57:15] that freddie glove and you go that's how they do it it's a girl bitch welcome to the world

[57:20] bitch i could say that as my kid actually that makes it even worse that's crazy what's he doing

Elliott Kalan

[57:27] i'm just glad that freddie settled down and started a family who is he is a child molester so

[57:32] that's not great a child murderer right don't they but that's why they burned his house down

[57:36] right yes you're right maybe he's just a child murderer you know what you're saying is i'm sorry

[57:40] freddie you're merely a child murderer i apologize uh but it's called and so anyway i want to just

[57:47] get on the web and start streaming these original animated web series about these ninja toilets can

[57:51] squarespace help me with that kind of site uh it certainly can and that's all i have to say about

[57:56] that will it make the site look the same on like a phone or on a desktop that's right on an ipad it

Dan McCoy

[58:02] scales to different devices it yeah it's got what you call uh responsive design that's great that's

Stuart Wellington

[58:09] great and what's the how do they uh how do they support our show and support squarespace uh well

Dan McCoy

[58:14] you can start your free trial today by visiting squarespace.com slash flop you should squarespace

Stuart Wellington

[58:22] so you're saying you're going to hide uh you're going to have like the bios of these ninja

[58:28] toilets available for anybody but you're going to hide all the videos the hot vids behind a paywall

[58:33] right no no no no no no because you don't want people anybody to just see that shit information

Elliott Kalan

[58:37] wants to be free and there's no better information than toilets fighting crime okay with ninja

Stuart Wellington

[58:41] weapons so you're going to make money based on ads it's either going to be it's going to be ad

Elliott Kalan

[58:45] supported and also internet equals cash dollar signs okay i'll figure it out i'll figure out how to

[58:50] monetize this idea i mean the money's just going to come flowing in but mostly yeah and you'll take

Stuart Wellington

[58:54] a big bag and write a dollar sign on it to catch all the money so i know what's in it yeah right

Dan McCoy

[58:57] next to your disk drive for when the money squirts out the flop house is also the flop house is also

[59:04] supported in part by mac weldon uh the clothing company angus mac weldon mac weldon i'll tell you

[59:12] what it's better than whatever you're wearing right now uh that's wrong because i'm wearing mac weldon

Elliott Kalan

[59:16] right now really yeah my this is to tell the truth my mac weldon underpants first in the rotation right

[59:24] off the bat okay every time i always go through them and then i go through my lesser hanes or what

[59:29] have you underpants now they're comfortable they're roomy they're not too roomy i'm roomy

[59:36] they're crummy which is a word you just made up that i don't know what it means

[59:39] but i saw it's a land roomy yeah oh i see yeah that makes they're super crummy yeah that's when

Stuart Wellington

[59:44] you think mac weldon think crummy for the crummy center yeah that's a croissant but they are super

[59:51] comfortable underpants mm-hmm yeah they make uh make all your business look great yeah what were

Dan McCoy

[59:56] you gonna say dan well mac weldon wants you to be comfortable so if you don't like your first pair

[1:00:00] you can keep it and they will refund you no question asked no questions asked even

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:07] one multiple questions just making it making it better each time you know as i have gotten older

[1:00:12] guys uh when i was a young man i just put whatever i wanted on my undercarriage but as i've gotten

[1:00:18] older sometimes hot dog buns yeah yeah yeah i mean in in a pinch

[1:00:24] it's what i call it when i pinch my business with a hot dog bun uh but it's a thing look it up on the

[1:00:32] internet the but what i was saying is the uh as i've gotten older i don't mind spending a little

[1:00:37] bit extra bucks on the the stuff that keeps my business that you can't see all my underpants look

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:43] you only get unless you're dan and you come over you only get one take good care of it body penis yes

[1:00:51] unless you're that sideshow guy from the 20s who had three legs and two penises okay

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:55] i don't remember his name he was italian what do you make a face because i'm trying to remember and i

Dan McCoy

[1:01:01] can't remember it uh but mac weldon uh it's good for working out it's good for going to work it's

[1:01:08] good for going out dates it's good for everyday life it's just good guys and uh if you go to

[1:01:14] malc weldon.com you can get 20 off using the promo code flop perfect go buy them you will not be

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:23] unsatisfied thank you for your support and uh the now we got some jumbotrons

[1:01:34] dan punch that up okay okay so i got the first uh no i think elliot's gonna go first oh okay i'll

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:43] go first this is a personal message this is a message for melissa trujo from dylan trujo and

[1:01:51] parentheses her awesome little brother it says happy birthday i know you'll love the gift of the peaches

[1:01:56] saying happy birthday melissa happy birthday melissa will elliot sing a song maybe happy birthday to

[1:02:06] you i can sing it now because it's in the public domain turns out sony never actually owns the

[1:02:12] copyright they just stole money from a lot of people for decades to you will dan sigh

[1:02:20] will stew crack a beer oh he's just got a bottle of schweps over there once he doesn't have a beer

[1:02:26] uh you're the best and you're welcome for showing oh that didn't work uh and you're welcome for

[1:02:31] showing you this great podcast and oh and you're welcome for showing you this great and well i don't

[1:02:36] know anyway so in a way oh no it should be so you're welcome uh oh you know what oh boy this is

[1:02:41] falling apart dylan you gotta put some quotes in there some commas now i know how to read it and

[1:02:46] you're welcome for showing you this great podcast so in a way i am also the best to the both of us

[1:02:51] seriously i love you and you're an amazing sister rawr rawr rawr

Dan McCoy

[1:02:55] dylan so happy birthday melissa that's so sweet from a from a brother to a sister you never you

[1:03:00] don't really see a lot of that uh kind of sibling commitment i often forget to tell my sister happy

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:05] birthday and we share a birthday yeah it is impossible for me to forget it so up next on the the old

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:12] jumbotron uh we have what i can only assume is another personal message uh this message is for helen

[1:03:22] the message is from jason and the message reads as follows

[1:03:29] sup okay thanks yeah thank you very much yeah yeah so helen if you're out there jason says

[1:03:36] sup um you'd like to tell someone sup over the jump over to max fund dot com and org max maximum

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:46] maximum fun dot org don't go to max fund dot com no no it's porn go to maximum fun dot org slash jumbotron

Dan McCoy

[1:03:52] uh i believe so i believe so but now it's time for letters from listeners you write them we read them time

[1:04:05] it's letter from time letter time for listeners yeah it's a great song not really a song it was sort of a call and response sort of sort of thing it was a thing yeah it was a thing that's the great thing about the word thing is you can use it describe stuff that doesn't really have a word uh yeah as established earlier like what are those things at the end of your shoelaces called

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:27] who is that guy covered in rocks they're called aglets yeah and thing is the guy oh i see what you did yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:04:34] uh so this first letter is from first name withheld robert last name withheld

[1:04:40] hmm it's the middle name who says i assume that's james robert ryan tolkien

[1:04:46] as with most parents of preteen children the flop house is our standard entertainment to listen to

[1:04:52] while shuttling the kids to their various basketball and baseball events not this one i hope that's

[1:04:56] terrible uh the 13 year old will last until the first sustained elliot pun run at which time the earphones are

[1:05:04] put on with an audible sigh kids hate me she must be paying closer attention than i thought as the other

[1:05:11] day i was watching a movie and she asked me if it was a bad bad movie a good bad movie or a movie i kind of

[1:05:15] liked stewart as the resident cinephile how long until this becomes the new standard rating system for

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:21] all movies uh i give it another what we've been doing this nine years so one more year ten years is the uh

[1:05:28] the rule yeah you have to yeah that's what they have to do yeah grandfather in it so uh call up the

[1:05:36] father of movies yeah thomas edison yes call him up on the thing you invented oh the 10-year

Dan McCoy

[1:05:44] grandfather you're talking about dan yeah your grandfather it's terrible uh dan my son would

[1:05:50] like to know when you're going to find the jersey devil look oh that was a long time ago yeah that's

[1:05:57] yeah i assume that's a reference to our ghost hunting video yeah that's not even a flop house thing

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:02] yeah that was a video that we made for my old live show the prime time kalen

Dan McCoy

[1:06:07] if you look up ghost hunters uh dan mccoy ellie kalen you might come up with a few amusing

[1:06:15] very amateurish youtube videos very slapdash videos that were put together for a live show and so we're

[1:06:20] like let's not put a lot of work into them because they're going to be shown once and then that's it

[1:06:26] uh but uh yeah the search continues um elliot as the resident comic book expert what is your opinion

[1:06:34] on including real characters or other out of context references in your stories is there a difference

[1:06:40] between an easter egg and a reference slash cameo that breaks you out of the comic slash movie

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:44] slash tv shows world yeah there is but it's one of those things like like obscenity i know it when i

[1:06:51] see it it's hard for me to define it's like uh there are times when things can get a little too winky

[1:06:59] and then it's like all right like i can't buy into the reality of this anymore that is certain i mean

[1:07:05] stan lee's cameos in his movies kind of become that as they get more baroque you know uh or if you're

[1:07:13] reading a comic book and there's clearly a scene where the creators of the comic are like having a conversation

[1:07:18] that can be fun for a panel but if it's a whole page forget about it

[1:07:23] but you're talking to somebody who went who wrote a series of one page

[1:07:26] bits where it's just starring wyatt senak and me yeah co-wrote with wyatt which have been republished

[1:07:32] in a book that's coming out from marvel called secret wars 2 which is where they reprinted a bunch of their humor books and all my humor stuff is in there

[1:07:40] yeah i didn't know it existed until they sent me one in the mail i prefer it when like dave sim shows up in

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:47] a cerebus book and he teaches us some real life lessons like the broads am i right this movie that

[1:07:53] we watched they had a real dave sim take on women yeah uh and last question from this email house cat

Dan McCoy

[1:07:59] why did you not have a character in the adventure zone crossover was it a dispute about money or are you just

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:03] too serious for dnd i'll have to ask him sometime uh he doesn't have a lot of time for d i wouldn't say

[1:08:10] it's too serious he just doesn't really truck with that nerd shit you know what i mean a little too cool

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:16] yeah you know how some people are so cool that they can do nerdy stuff and still be cool he's even

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:20] cooler than that he's the next step yeah it's uh yeah it cycles back on itself he's busy uh skateboarding

Dan McCoy

[1:08:26] uh having one of the uh frank d'angelo uh energy drinks while he that's what he drinks now yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:34] hey do you guys ever fantasize about if probably some kid uh is in like a home alone situation and

[1:08:40] he's got to scare off burglars that he's going to use audio files of your podcast clips to scare the

Dan McCoy

[1:08:45] burglars away not really okay like the your filthy animal bit yeah yeah yeah my classic steward will

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:53] i did feel the animal bit from the flop house podcast uh no i've never thought about that

Dan McCoy

[1:09:00] uh so this is from michael last name withheld who writes recently i was stricken with a nasty stomach

[1:09:07] bug to distract me from my nausea and to help cover up the sounds that come along with a nasty stomach

[1:09:13] bug i downloaded a bunch of flop house episodes to comfort me as i pressed my face to the cold tile

[1:09:18] floor of the bathroom for once in earth's history elliot's singing actually soothed somebody oh come

[1:09:24] on although steward's talk of wormy boners did not help my queasiness and with every mournful

[1:09:29] sigh from dan i thought what the fuck are you so sad about i'm dying here you bastard sorry dan

[1:09:35] it was the virus talking after a rough couple of days i realized i was going to live and indeed

[1:09:40] managed to stand on the bathroom bathroom scale to assess the damage i looked down to find that in

[1:09:46] two days i had managed to lose seven pounds what oh he strikes again that's right it was clear this

[1:09:53] was no random illness no i've been poisoned by that dastardly super villain had he been my uber

[1:09:58] driver the night before had he slipped some concoction into my food posing as a line cook

[1:10:02] and why he picked me actually i'm pretty awesome so that part was understandable just be careful out

[1:10:07] there fellas seven pounds is back in town also what movies do you like to watch when you're sick

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:15] uh my go-to has been that like lately it's been the world's end okay uh it's one of those things i

[1:10:22] can just put on and like i go to my happy place uh and sometimes uh lately i'll also throw in the guest

Dan McCoy

[1:10:30] the guest oh the guest is a good one yeah i would put that on my list i mean and likewise uh any 80s

[1:10:39] john carpenter which is basically the same thing as the guest yep i would watch when i'm sick

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:44] um i don't get sick very much my body just kind of rejects illness but uh the first time i had a

[1:10:51] kidney stone was pretty bad and i will remember watching from beyond for the first time and i was

[1:10:58] like around the point that uh that jeffrey combs as he's mutating because he's seen another dimension

[1:11:04] sucks the eyeball out of another man's head i was like this movie gets where i'm at right now yeah and

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:09] it really helped i uh i suffered a pretty bad arm injury i broke my humerus after having recently

[1:11:16] broken my radius and let me tell you pretty funny it was not humorous you beat me to the

[1:11:20] fucking joke uh hello dan high five awaiting you yeah so uh i was stuck on the couch for a while and

[1:11:27] of course my mom went out and rented me some tapes from the local bee buster

[1:11:34] and uh and she she knows me because the top of that stack of tapes was jeff fahey's vehicle body parts

[1:11:44] nice but a guy who gets in a horrible car accident which is how i broke my arm and uh gets a grafted

[1:11:51] arm of a serial killer on his body and guess what that arm wants to kill people muscle memory yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:11:59] that's right i'm good at one thing why won't they let me do it anymore murdering

[1:12:06] um so this is from joe last name with eld who writes the flop house is my favorite podcast dan and

[1:12:12] elliott i love you guys too but this question is for my favorite flopper stew well thanks for

[1:12:16] listening okay thanks joe montana 49ers former quarterback stew i recently bought net runner on

[1:12:24] your recommendation from the we are your friends app okay however neither of my roommates my usually

[1:12:31] my usual strategy game crew will play with me weird i was thinking of bringing it to my local board

[1:12:36] game night but i don't want to be that guy that rolls into a game night convinces someone to play

[1:12:40] with him and then takes 20 minutes to figure out how ice works yep how would you suggest i find

[1:12:45] someone who i can start playing my new game with thanks joe last name with tinder probably right yeah i

Stuart Wellington

[1:12:50] think that's the best way if you're like hey you want to crank some fucking ice uh i would say uh

[1:12:57] when it i don't know exactly where you live but i know in new york that they that if you go uh look for

[1:13:03] meetups for board games and you can look for meetups for uh the card game in question you can also go on

[1:13:09] uh boardgamegeek.com and look at the forums um yeah or go on in this case uh the producer of that

[1:13:17] games uh community section and find meetups for that game that way that's what i would suggest

[1:13:24] well come down to hinterland's bar the bar i just opened and i'll play you dude in brooklyn new york

[1:13:28] he will set it up on the bar we'll be talking about ice yeah both the beverage and the thing in

[1:13:36] the game average yeah yeah like uh like an icy i mean like you'd put ice in your drink but i don't

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:44] it's i mean i guess i guess the health department calls it a food at this point

[1:13:48] yeah i mean that seems weird too but it makes more sense to me yeah that's why a bar counts as a

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:53] restaurant for the health department just for the ice counts as food yeah go on dan that's a little

Dan McCoy

[1:14:00] insight into new york health department regulations also take care of your regulars be a paul sorvino

[1:14:07] give them a free drink when they lose their house yep because you never know they might go into a

[1:14:13] bank and start shooting people up yeah yeah he's the seven pounds in this scenario

[1:14:19] uh this uh last one last letter i assume is mostly for elliot uh you never know dear elliot oh then

[1:14:28] probably oh it starts out with the word elliot so so when you read things you usually start in the

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:34] middle and then just kind of like expand outward in concentric rings until you reach the beginning

Dan McCoy

[1:14:39] i saw the word well because it's a it was a hyperlink when i printed it out uh i saw president

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:45] lincoln underlined so your eyes went to it because i find that's actually how i read menus a lot of the

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:50] time and i have to force myself to go oh you like zoom in on a specific like if a word catches your eye

[1:14:56] you're like i don't know like uh pork belly i mean the word is almost always pork steak or chicken

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:03] like it's and then uh you're like oh honey they have chicken give me a second i'm reading

[1:15:09] and then i put my bookmark in the part of the menu i left off at take a nap use the bathroom come back

[1:15:15] but i find i have to force myself to start at the beginning of the menu the appetizers usually

[1:15:20] uh and then there's a twist ending dessert oh wow it turns out the chocolate fondue did it

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:31] spoiler alert what's that what's that cake doing upside down we'll find out when we get there honey

Dan McCoy

[1:15:40] the molten chocolate cake burned him to death with its lava yep um dan mccoy dessert detective

[1:15:48] elliot have you ever been to president lincoln's cottage at the soldier's home in dc

[1:15:54] it's one of the most fascinating and underrated tourist attractions in dc far more interesting than

[1:15:58] ford's theater a weird tourist scam hub it's a modest house in petworth where lincoln lived for much of

[1:16:04] his presidency i'm familiar with the soldier's home commuting by horse to the white house he wrote the

[1:16:09] emancipation proclamation there and the tour gives a great overview of his personality and the personality

[1:16:14] of dc as a city i bet the tour would give you even greater context for understanding the day-to-day

[1:16:18] life of lincoln and the great pressures he faced i'd also like to recommend this tour to anyone else

[1:16:24] listing it's great and i always encouraged encouraged tourists to get off the mall and cdc as the great

[1:16:31] city is it is cdc the center for disease control i've actually never been encouraged is when you

[1:16:36] force people to watch the entourage movie but you don't force them you just you just you know push it

Stuart Wellington

[1:16:42] on them a little bit yeah you see you invite them over for a party and then you just put it on the tv

[1:16:46] player you're like hey just do what your body wants guys and then they turn it off because that's what

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:52] their body wants the body rejects it i've actually never been to the soldier's home i really wanted

[1:16:57] to go and i haven't had a trip to dc in years when i've been able to i mean we went to dc for a live

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:04] show for like a day yeah yeah and elliot was like take me to soldier's home take me to soldier's

[1:17:09] home and we're like no we don't have time elliot maybe tomorrow i would like to get all your green

Dan McCoy

[1:17:13] beans we rubbed a little we rubbed a little whiskey on his gums and put him to bed yeah that was fussy

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:20] uh it's i was just reading a book recently about lincoln's relationship with john hay and his private

[1:17:27] one of his private secretaries later became teddy roosevelt secretary of state among other posts that

[1:17:31] he held and it talked about these horse rides that they would do the two of them between the white

[1:17:36] house and the soldier's home and i was getting so envious for all this concentrated time that he got

[1:17:42] to spend with abraham lincoln just kind of like hanging out and i would like to go see it actually

[1:17:47] for that reason it was at the time it was built it was way off in the woods and now it's just in dc

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:52] because the city has expanded but i'd like to go maybe you could convince daniel day lewis to go with

[1:17:57] you and he would put on his lincoln performance yeah that seems like there's only a few steps that i'll

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:02] have to go through to get to that point step one find out how to contact daniel day lewis i mean if

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:11] he's not available just get daniel knight lewis oh boy thanks guys i've been great tonight is that m

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:17] night shamalan's middle name brother m day shalamon

[1:18:23] m day shamalan has no twist endings in his films you see what you get says m day shamalan

Dan McCoy

[1:18:31] uh hey now it's time for the last segment on the show okay i don't know if i have the energy yeah

[1:18:39] which is when we recommend movies that we actually liked although we enjoyed uh

[1:18:45] uh

[1:18:46] no reservation

[1:18:49] parts unknown

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:52] yeah this is a movie that you'd watch is like a double feature with no deposit

[1:18:57] so what what do you guys recommend i have my recommendation okay so

[1:19:01] okay uh i'll go first i guess no pressure but i've got one i'm gonna recommend a movie that

[1:19:06] probably doesn't need me to champion for it uh this is a movie that was uh i guess a big release when

[1:19:12] i was a kid and i saw it in the theater uh it stars elliot's pal sly stallone uh it's a movie

[1:19:20] called demolition man so if you're looking for a big dan had to look on his face like you bastard

Dan McCoy

[1:19:27] you're gonna recommend demolition man why today of all days why why in 2016

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:40] dan stares into my eyes and hoping to find some kind of understanding there but he sees nothing

[1:19:46] not but emptiness

[1:19:48] at least two uh so yeah no demolition man is a movie where the greatest

[1:19:55] tell us

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:58] this little known indie hit indie film

[1:20:02] was it even a hit when it came out i thought i don't know

Dan McCoy

[1:20:05] it was a minor success i believe so

[1:20:08] oh the miners liked it played real well in harland county kentucky

[1:20:11] well they don't really have much else to watch down in the mines

[1:20:14] just projected on the bare rock yeah the strong who's side are you on platform that sylvester

Stuart Wellington

[1:20:18] sloan stands for um okay so uh demolition man is about a the greatest cop in the universe

[1:20:24] fighting an evil drug dealer and they both uh end up getting charged with a crime and frozen

[1:20:32] and then they wake up far in the future and they get into all kinds of wacky adventure adventures

[1:20:36] and the villain in this case is played by wesley snipes and this is

[1:20:40] genuinely a great over-the-top cartoony performance that would have not been out of

[1:20:46] place in any of the tim burton uh batman movies it's great uh it's almost worth watching just on that

[1:20:53] energy alone and it's the sort of thing it's the sort of performance where you're like

[1:20:57] kind of surprised that wesley snipes isn't a bigger star because he is so much fun to watch

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:02] in this movie i mean he was a he has been a huge star he's gone through i mean he's fallen on hard

[1:21:07] times i suppose i mean not paying your taxes for many years and then having to pay them all at once

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:12] will do that to you yeah i suppose um so if you get a chance uh if you haven't already seen it

[1:21:17] you should go check it out it's a great example of a good bad movie uh and you can finally find out

[1:21:23] what the three seashells of the bathroom are all about you don't know how to use those

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:28] it also has uh perhaps the most gratuitous piece of nudity in any film ever yeah it where

[1:21:35] soester sloan just gets a wrong video phone call from a nude lady and that's the entirety of it she

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:40] goes oh i'm sorry i thought you were someone else and now that we have video phone calls you know

[1:21:44] that shit happens all the time constantly people are constantly misdialing their video phone numbers

Dan McCoy

[1:21:50] okay so dan now that you can't recommend demolition man damn you uh i'm gonna write i'm gonna take a

[1:21:58] page from elliot's playbook i'm gonna recommend a movie from 1935 just don't take a page from my playboy

[1:22:05] what if it's one of those like terrible joke pages you can take those those are pretty bad

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:10] um or if it's an article about travel yeah or some norman mailer mailer article or norman

Dan McCoy

[1:22:17] mailer i'm not familiar with his work either but he's french norman mailer plus manure um so uh 1935

[1:22:26] the version of a midsummer night's dream that was done uh and it had olivia de haviland as titania

[1:22:35] it had jimmy cagney as bottom it had dick powell as lisander i believe i think so and joey brown is

Elliott Kalan

[1:22:44] another joey brown is snug the mechanical joiner um it's uh it's the it was the film version of the

Dan McCoy

[1:22:52] like what max reinhardt production i believe that's correct uh and it's uh to my taste i know elliot and i

[1:23:01] talked about this and we had minor disagreement to my taste there's a little too much uh gauzy

[1:23:06] photography of fairies running around which i think is the biggest strong point of the movie i

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:11] that's a movie i really like a lot and the thing i like the most about it is the like 30s gauzy

[1:23:17] photographed choreography where there's just like nymphs running around a forest with like a lot of glitter

Dan McCoy

[1:23:23] everywhere uh it happens a lot i like that i like that aspect of it if you like that then you'll love

[1:23:31] uh the 35 midsummer night's dream like jim james cagney's really good in it joey brown is really funny

[1:23:35] yeah the the rude mechanical stuff is very funny uh i think it's probably the strongest stuff in the

[1:23:41] movie it's an interesting movie to watch i'm a i'm a big fan of the play it's interesting movie to watch

[1:23:47] to see how much they cut down the play like even though the movie's like over two and two hours long

[1:23:53] it's like 215 or something to make room for all those fairies running around yeah there's whole like

[1:23:59] wide swaths of dialogue that's just replaced by like people making various faces at each other

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:05] uh the only thing i really don't like in that movie is mickey rooney's performance mickey rooney is

Dan McCoy

[1:24:10] terrible he's just very irritating he's so irritating i mean mickey rooney can go broad

[1:24:18] you know a lot of the time but this is him as a child and he like has this like weird like i'm an

[1:24:26] old man but a child quality about him and he does this laugh like every other line that just like goes

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:33] like this horrible brain yeah yeah and uh but yeah aside from that that's

[1:24:40] i think that's a good movie yeah i think that's still the best film version of that play that

[1:24:45] i've seen i think that that's probably true but that that also it's damning very faint praise yeah

[1:24:53] but uh i have seen better stage productions of it sure you have yeah but if you're a fan

Dan McCoy

[1:24:59] if you're a fan of uh one in stratford itself oh wow you're treading the boards uh i guess

[1:25:08] if you're a fan of midsommers at all you should watch the movie that's what i and then just go

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:13] watch a midsummer night sex comedy a really good movie with a terrible title sure and i'm gonna

[1:25:19] recommend a movie i'm gonna take a page from the elliot caitlin playbook and recommend an old movie

[1:25:24] that's also a foreign film uh and i'm gonna recommend you know what frank d'angelo just wanted to make

[1:25:31] movies and he did it's not like he had training in it at all he just decided he had a story to tell

[1:25:35] and he decided to tell it and this movie was made in similar fashion by a little man named satyajit re

[1:25:40] uh from india and this is his first film payther panchali which i've been putting off watching

[1:25:46] for years because even though i love old movies and i love old foreign movies and i love foreign movies

[1:25:51] i still every now and then get that feeling of like

[1:25:56] this is gonna be not as enjoyable as it is like good for me but payther panchali is like a genuinely like

[1:26:02] beautiful entertaining movie and it's really heartbreaking really good it's from the 50s and

[1:26:08] it's a film about rural indian poverty but about one family a husband and wife the husband has dreams

[1:26:16] of being a writer but he's just kind of not supporting his family the wife is the one that

[1:26:20] pressure falls on and they have two kids uh an older daughter and a younger son and there's a certain

[1:26:27] amount of slice of likeness to it but there's a lot of tight plotting in it also and i like

[1:26:33] don't want to like talk it's like to describe the plot is not to describe what's interesting about it

[1:26:38] but it's like a beautiful looking film and the emotions in it are really strong and the performances

[1:26:43] are really great and it's one of those movies where you're like this was his the director's first movie

[1:26:48] a number of the actors in it were not professional actors at the time like that's crazy this is such a

[1:26:53] good movie so i highly recommend it payther panchali yeah okay three equally good movies

[1:27:00] that's right yeah yep one one was is is one of the hallmarks of indian cinema and then you've got a

[1:27:05] kind of golden age hollywood adapting the greatest writer whoever existed and then you got demolition

[1:27:11] man the first rated r i assume would be a sylvester sloan rob schneider double feature with judge

[1:27:17] dredd yeah yeah also a futuristic uh adventure if only dennis leary had also been in judge dred

Dan McCoy

[1:27:24] mm-hmm the three musketeers they called them yep because they loved the candy bar of the same name

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:33] uh hey rob had me another candy bar so i was here was good dear hey hey guys

[1:27:38] heard you were talking about demolition man so i had to stop by but i didn't move episodes running a

[1:27:42] little long so i just realized i started a bit that's not a good idea so i think i'm probably

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:46] gonna get going questions about your character john spartan don't really remember it too much

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:52] what was the name of wesley snipes character like jimmy phoenix i knew it was phoenix or something

[1:27:56] anyway uh go see whatever movie i have in theaters right now is there something out i don't know

[1:28:02] i don't think so well get uh creed on dvd oh sure people loved it and uh yeah i'm sure i'll be back at

[1:28:09] some point you know all right well it's always good to see you so what's going to do with you guys

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:14] what stuart you just uh open your new bar yeah it's been really successful we carry bullet bourbon

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:20] oh like my movie bullet to the head yeah dan you've got a lot of good things going on no that's not

[1:28:24] true at all okay gotta go well you know uh even old sly knows when he's uh put his foot in the old

[1:28:30] mouth so i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm just gonna go okay yeah he always has his jetpack with him i hope

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:37] elliot comes back soon he's gonna be so mad he missed a lie i'm back guys i didn't miss anything

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:42] right i just went to get some more uh we didn't miss anything at all so i just want to thank everybody

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:48] who came out to the max fun meetup uh there was a lot of folks that i had met before and that was

[1:28:52] really great to meet so many nice uh cool folks who came out to the meetup uh what a week ago at the

[1:28:58] bar i just opened it was really humbling to just meet all these really nice people and get that kind

[1:29:02] of support um and dan had a great time too yeah i was also there i missed it but i regretted missing

[1:29:11] it hopefully we'll get to do more of those things it's super fun um and if you didn't come out because

[1:29:17] you were worried that you wouldn't know anybody you should come out and come and and talk to me because

[1:29:22] at a lot of those things i mainly spend the time standing around wondering uh who i can talk to you

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:27] feel free to just walk up to stewart and tell him you don't listen to the flop house yeah please do

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:31] that um people feel fine doing that apparently uh in in between uh meetups you can also check out

[1:29:37] the flop house on youtube just check out flop house podcast there's a lot of really great stuff

[1:29:42] specifically there's some really great stuff that's made for that podcast uh for our podcast for our

[1:29:47] podcast for that youtube channel by uh by tony oker which are great animated adaptations including a

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:53] recent one featuring uh featuring uh a guy named sylvester sloan yeah oh man i hope i'm here the

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:59] next time he stops by i always miss him uh dan and i look at each other awkwardly and then uh and

[1:30:05] yeah and if you're looking for any uh christmas presents or whatever man just just because presents uh

[1:30:13] don't forget that we got merch available at the max fun store including a really awesome poster by the

[1:30:18] artist tom fowler where all of our proceeds for it go directly to the american foundation for suicide

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:25] prevention a great cause okay uh thanks too for that uh housework this episode was so packed full of

[1:30:32] experiences we watched a really crazy funny movie we celebrated nine years together we talked about

[1:30:38] we talked about the holocaust and robert loja a fair amount and uh recommended some movies had some

[1:30:44] laughs said hello to some people said sup to one person in particular yeah helen

Dan McCoy

[1:30:50] sup helen the taking of helen one two three uh well i hope that helen has a good time i hope that

[1:30:57] you've all had a good time but uh all good time gotta come to an end and we're dying so as we put

[1:31:05] ourselves uh into a grave uh sleep uh we sign off saying uh i've been dan mccoy and this guy's been

[1:31:15] stewart wellington and over here still tiny elliot kalen good night everyone small member

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:27] so this is just like godzilla it's a real new york movie hell yeah how are my levels

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:34] how are my levels this is how i'm gonna talk the whole time like that just like this i'm gonna talk

[1:31:44] like this and now this i'm gonna talk like this sometimes too i will talk like this like a robot

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:51] the whole episode it won't get annoying i promise all right uh yeah i guess you gotta do the hand

[1:31:58] motions i'm doing them even though they cannot hear for realism you can hear the confidence of the

[1:32:04] hand motions in the voice yep it helps my performance posture that's uh that was the the directing you

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:12] gave during mst3k right i said hey move like a robot while you're saying those things move like a robot

[1:32:21] move like a robot let's go to the tune of smooth operator

[1:32:29] boom operator boom operator that's the that's the farthest i've ever gotten with that parody i've

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:37] been thinking about it for a while yeah that's pretty good maximum fun dot org comedy and culture

Dan McCoy

[1:32:44] artist owned listener supported

Ep. #212 - No Depo$it

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