Ep. #215 - The Lazarus Effect

[0:00] On this episode we discuss the Lazarus effect spoiler alert the Lazarus effect is mainly putting us to sleep

[0:30] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse I'm Dan McCoy I'm Stuart Wellington and having just brought Stuart back from the dead apparently I'm Dr. Elliot Kaelin and I'm Hallie Haglund what y'all are we ready to have some fun

[0:59] great I'll get you some pecan pie I came from the south but now I live in the west

[1:11] okay our character work checks out this is a very elaborate backstory as has

[1:19] become a Flophouse tradition we're joined for this Shocktober episode by

[1:24] Hallie Haglund and I think that all of our star of the show mm-hmm our entire

[1:28] audience right now is wondering one burning question which is have you seen

[1:32] a ghost? Well I work with you every day Dan so... I don't even know what that means. I'd say you got burnt but you're a ghost so Clark can't affect you.

[1:53] Stay down Dan stay down. But I have really appreciated all the Twitter

[1:58] messages people have have been thinking of me this Halloween season over there

[2:05] is that Bradley Cooper star of the movie Dan got burnt? That was a stretch. I got there

[2:12] eventually okay we didn't even get to the part. Oh good cuz that was like such a

[2:19] good movie. Remember when he walks into the room and he tastes her sauce and

[2:25] he's like this is what you're missing blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

[2:28] and everyone was like I'm in love with him. Wait I like the part where he kind

[2:35] of flirted with her daughter. I like the part where she was like I brought my

[2:39] daughter here cuz it's her birthday and then he's like the thing she would

[2:44] really want to spend her birthday doing is hanging out with me an asshole. So

[2:50] Dan do we watch Burnt? Oh no. Normally on this podcast we watch the movie Burnt and talk about it.

[2:55] We've seen Burnt 50 times now and let me tell you. Oh but you haven't watched it for this show?

[3:03] No we did watch it for the show. Oh okay. No we just watched it 50 times for fun.

[3:08] Yeah just to see if we could. We were being interrogated by the police.

[3:11] They're trying to break our wills. Okay. I got a movie to show you guys.

[3:16] Oh I just hope it's not Burnt. That's what they do in Guantanamo. Good news it's Burnt.

[3:20] Oh man. We just keep playing Burnt over and over again. Yeah. Now that's what I call a

[3:25] filmist fire. A what? A what? It's films and it's a fire and it's burnt. A filmist fire.

[3:38] Uh-huh. Alright let's edit this out. I get it as little now as I did before. It's like

[3:44] forest fire I think. Exactly. But instead of a bunch of trees it's a bunch of I guess rolls of

[3:51] film that catch on fire. I see my mistake was in assuming that the words sounded the same in your

[3:57] play on words. It's close enough. You were choosing two words that don't sound the same.

[4:01] Filmist and forest? Well one filmist is not a word. It's not even a word for someone who

[4:07] makes films. That would be filmmaker. Alright. Not even someone who watches films. That would

[4:11] be a cineast. Mm-hmm. I mean let's move on. Guy's a real cine-asshole am I right? Now that's a play

[4:21] on words Hallie. Boo. Boo. How's the cold sting of rejection feel? I thought Dan was supposed to

[4:28] say boo because he's a ghost. High five Hallie. I still don't understand how that's an insult.

[4:32] Anyway let's move on. I still don't understand how that's an insult. What you think it's good

[4:37] to be a ghost? Yeah yeah yeah. What does it mean though? Because you're dead inside. The

[4:41] implication is you're dead inside. Oh okay. Yeah how often do you run into a fucking ghost and

[4:46] you're like super happy. And you're like hey ghost how you doing? Oh great. Come on that's not true.

[4:51] Let's go to our fact checkers. If anything I feel far too deeply and I'm always sad. How about that?

[5:01] Yeah Dan your heart's an open wound. We get it. Let's move on. So what do we do on this podcast

[5:06] other than banter? Bruce Bantler the Incredible Hulk. Mostly we do that. The Incredible Talk.

[5:12] Um this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. So Dan do we watch and

[5:19] it's Shocktober which means we watch horror movies. It's the ghouliest time of the year.

[5:23] But we didn't watch ghoulies. With the ghosts and the goblins and the gooblins and the goblins. So

[5:28] you're now some kind of Halloween Bill Cosby. Yeah. The goblins and the goblins and the ghosts

[5:34] and the ghoulies. Weirdly enough less scary than normal Bill Cosby. That's a good point.

[5:39] Bill Ghostby is much less scary. Star of Ghost Dad for real. Yeah seriously.

[5:45] Was he really a ghost in that? I don't know. He was really a dad.

[5:50] So he's 50% accurate. Is this a movie about an absentee father? Yeah. I never knew my dad. He

[5:57] was like a ghost. Ghost dad. But alive. Sad. Sad dad. As is most things about Bill Cosby. Anyway

[6:06] go on. Yeah Bill Cosby go on. So Dan what movie do we watch seeing as it's the scariest time of

[6:12] the year? Shocktober. They can just check their podcast players to find out that information

[6:17] or you can tell them. We watched The Lazarus Effect which we also mentioned at the beginning

[6:22] of this podcast. So this is the third time most people are getting that information.

[6:31] Now this movie was directed. It's about people who go to the store

[6:34] Lazarus. What store is that? There's a store Lazarus. What kind of store is that? I don't know.

[6:42] My grandfather worked at it. It was a clothing store. Was he like a folder? Did he fold the

[6:49] clothes? Or was he like a hanger organizer? Every year we got we got clothes from that.

[6:55] That was our Christmas present. So what kind of clothes? Was it just all underpants? Were they

[6:58] like burial shrouds? No. It was like we get sweaters and shit. From Lazarus? Yeah. Dan what

[7:06] I'd like to see you deliver that as if Lazarus was a famous chain of stores. Maybe it is a chain.

[7:11] As far as I know it exists only in what Illinois? I don't know. Now I want to look it up. My phone

[7:17] is over there. So the listening audience when he said over there I didn't know what he meant

[7:22] either. He didn't point or anything. It was across the room. Now I look it up. Lazarus store. The

[7:28] Lazarus effect is directed by David Gelb who also directed Hero Dreams of Sushi. And there was sushi

[7:36] in this movie. A tip of the hat. He likes to have a reference to his previous film in all his movies.

[7:43] You got to hang a lampshade on it right guys? Now unlike that movie which is a documentary about

[7:49] an obsessive sushi chef this is a horror movie about flatliners. The movie being redone essentially

[7:56] as a new movie. Was that was it like an open like were they acknowledging that like we're

[8:03] redoing this or? No I don't think so. I don't think it's I don't think that anyone went out

[8:08] of their way to make a connection with flatliners. Although Flatliners is a little different. Yeah

[8:12] the movie poster didn't say it's like Flatliners guys. Remember Flatliners? This is that. Finally

[8:21] Flatliners from my generation. This isn't your daddy's Flatliners because it's now. Yeah because

[8:27] your daddy's Flatliners is called Flatliners. Because your daddy was Peter Sutherland. Lazarus

[8:32] merged with Macy's. Oh okay. It used to be a department store in the midwest. It went defunct

[8:38] in 2005. 1851 to 2005. Maybe someday it will rise from the dead. Some kind of Lazarus effect. Maybe

[8:48] they'll inject it with a bunch of milky formula. I mean it's only now that I realize how weird that

[8:53] was as a name for a clothing store. Yeah I just accepted it as a child. Here's my guess and this

[8:58] may be crazy. The guy who founded it his last name was probably Lazarus and therein lies a tale.

[9:05] You see he had a name. Let's call him John Lazarus and he had a dream. A store where young

[9:12] comedians grandfathers could work. Holding clothes and getting sweaters to give to their grandchildren

[9:18] for Christmas and he made that dream possible with a story he called Grandfather Clothes.

[9:25] Unfortunately that closed. People did not want to go to a store only staffed by grandfathers

[9:31] especially because it sold clothes for grandfathers. I don't want to give this to my

[9:35] kid for Christmas. It's for a grandfather and my son. This is an oversized cardigan.

[9:41] The service was so slow. It was very slow and so he created Lazarus a chain store in which

[9:47] grandfathers could work or they'd have regular age people working. Either way could work. You

[9:53] know what they should have called it? What's that Hallie? The Snazarus store.

[10:00] the snazzy yeah and it was a story after the popular dinosaur snazarus

[10:05] so the best dressed dinosaur so the lazarus effect is a movie that we

[10:09] watched should we talk about it's got a big star study cast

[10:12] there's olivia wilde mark duplass donald glover

[10:16] quicksilver from the x-men movies ray wise ray wise a good guy

[10:20] nope in one scene ray wise play a character you're sure is going to come

[10:24] back later he does not uh just like charles dance in the last

[10:28] movie we watched yeah it almost was like ray wise had a

[10:32] doctor's appointment in the building where they're shooting the movie

[10:35] and they're like hey could you the guy who's supposed to play this part didn't

[10:37] show up can you just do it sure i mean my appointment's not for

[10:40] another 40 minutes i show up early to read the magazines i'm that kind of guy

[10:44] anyway let me put down this issue of golf

[10:46] enthusiasts and help you out with your move i

[10:48] yeah hallie i feel like it's like these like the people involved in the movie

[10:52] are like oh my god i love twin peaks so much oh my god that would be so awesome

[10:56] if we could get him and they're like uh all we have is this one part and

[10:59] they're like well let's just ask and they say yeah i'm not doing anything

[11:03] he's like uh you're gonna pay me in money right he's like

[11:06] i don't have to work because i'm the heir of the wise potato chip fortune

[11:10] so i'll take whatever job no i don't think so

[11:14] maybe the heir of wisdom yeah he's the his idea of wisdom

[11:20] yeah his grandfather invented that because you're not making very much

[11:24] money off the bat these days am i right people

[11:28] politics politics and elections i love that alex could just turn on that

[11:34] voice whenever necessary it's like she suddenly aged like 20

[11:38] years in front of my very eyes i feel so scolded when she looked at me

[11:44] anywho the lazarus so ray wise uh i'm assuming was named something like

[11:49] lewis cypher or some shit yeah you're planning on having him show up at the

[11:52] end or like like dennis advil or something and they're

[11:56] like no but just say his first initial stan

[11:59] aton yeah uh because because i mean he did play

[12:04] the devil on that one show right yeah lucifer wait lucifer no the show

[12:08] about which uh yeah the one with the kid who's the kid

[12:11] who's from hell yeah and that guy on it who's like a

[12:15] low rent like jack black kind of guy yeah yeah jack off black

[12:22] jack black is a huge fan of this probably

[12:25] yeah probably punching up some jokes yeah anyway

[12:29] so let's talk about the wardrobe why are you looking at me like that

[12:34] guys at some point we're gonna have to stop beating around the bush and talk

[12:37] about this by the numbers boring movies so the movie begins

[12:40] found footage style and at that point you're like this is gonna be good

[12:44] because you're like this whole thing's gonna be found footage and it's a close

[12:47] up on the face of a dead pig and we're like oh so the movie's really

[12:51] welcoming you into its heart and then uh you hear a bunch of people

[12:55] jibber jabbering about some kind of monster magic they're casting

[12:59] they're talking about like how they're talking about how many like

[13:02] experiment how much amber grease they're squeaking squirting all over it right

[13:06] how how's the amygdala doing all that garbage yeah and then all of a sudden

[13:10] they hit it with some juice and they're like

[13:12] our magic spell didn't work and then the pig starts going crazy for a second then

[13:16] it stops he goes hog wild and then stops title

[13:19] comes up the lazarus effect and we see the graphics the whole credit

[13:23] sequence and then we start up it seems the credit sequence looks like the

[13:26] credit sequence of a very upscale hbo tv show yeah it does the problem is they

[13:32] blew the budget on the credit it doesn't look that different from the

[13:35] hannibal credit sequence to be honest except one of them is making me very

[13:39] excited about this weird program i'm about to watch yeah the other uh is just

[13:44] like stalling for time uh i'm going to watch something that shows that maybe

[13:50] you should have checked your preconceived notions at the door

[13:53] because you were already going into this with a bad attitude

[13:57] sorry haley nobody else stewart he's a he's really old and he's full of bad

[14:01] attitude guys i don't feel very well i think i'm

[14:04] coming down with something don't juice me up full of white stuff

[14:08] please oh no so there olivia wild and mark duplass

[14:13] are engaged scientists they've been so busy with this project they haven't

[14:16] gotten married yet and they are trying to bring things back

[14:20] to life using some kind of white in the bedroom

[14:26] and mark duplass is having no problem getting excited there but a little while

[14:30] for some reason it's just like not feeling it i don't know

[14:32] wow that was not actually what we saw in the movie

[14:35] remember she's like come to bed and he's like sorry i'm looking at this

[14:40] dog we brought back to life sorry i'm mumbling somewhere

[14:43] i'm busy coring my mumble so they are scientists who have a serum

[14:49] that they think can bring back the dead or at least

[14:51] it started as a project to repair brain cells in coma patients

[14:55] but now they've got some sort of dead rising back thing donald glover works

[14:58] for them and so does quicksilver from the x-men movies

[15:01] and a young lady is the documentarian who's gonna shoot dv cam video the whole

[15:05] thing so that i get for their dvd extras that

[15:07] they on the dvd the hand of people they bring back from the dead

[15:10] and the thing is she's like the match tossed into this powder keg

[15:14] because as soon as she arrives shit starts hitting the fan

[15:17] sort of yeah i know the thing i don't get is if they were like

[15:22] doing something that was against what they were supposed to be doing

[15:25] why did they hire someone to be their documentarian

[15:29] hmm well you raise an interesting question

[15:33] who hired her did they hire her did she just show up and they're like

[15:37] okay i guess we gotta let you do it but like uh like a harriet the spy type

[15:42] is that what harriet the spy does she just shows up and like puts a fucking

[15:46] bandana on shows her mentos and people are like

[15:48] okay i guess she's a documentary

[15:53] she sings a song that's every spy that's how they get in situations jay

[15:57] monica's like i gotta sneak in mentos wait you guys that girl who

[16:01] played the documentarian was one of the two little sisters in in america

[16:06] oh my god okay yeah so her career's moving up i feel really

[16:10] oh i loved that movie that was such a good movie that was great

[16:14] yeah okay well she's grown up she's all grown up honey

[16:18] that was the first uh when i came to new york that was the first like

[16:23] screening i ever went to like a free screening

[16:26] like you know yeah no i get it mine was sleepy hollow

[16:31] really yeah my first screening was uh when i was a kid my

[16:34] older cousin uh managed a movie theater and i saw an early screening of pcu

[16:39] yeah baby that's what college was all about politically correct culture that

[16:43] movie yeah finally any who just like donald trump is sticking

[16:48] into politically correct culture right now

[16:50] everyone go out there and vote trump this november

[16:53] i'm more irritated not because it's a political message i disagree with

[16:57] but because when people listen to this episode in four weeks

[17:01] it's gonna be outdated it's not even like it's gonna be out of date in a

[17:06] couple years in like a month it's gonna be out of

[17:09] date look i just want to make america great again

[17:11] elliot and you're standing in my way and you're standing in america's way

[17:15] there's gonna be an artifact yeah they're gonna put this in a museum

[17:19] they're gonna put it on a gold record and shoot it into space yeah to get it

[17:23] out of here shoot into the sun anyway so they bring

[17:27] a dog back to life they name the dog rocky

[17:29] and the dog just becomes that lab mascot let that

[17:32] dog hang out which is crazy man that dog came from the other side

[17:36] now this dog now has a bad attitude and it's implied like spuds mckenzie

[17:41] no bad no spuds mckenzie had a great attitude he's the original party animal

[17:45] yeah you were a hawaiian we all live in his shadow sunglasses he surfed and he

[17:48] eventually died of cirrhosis yeah that's right because the dog liver

[17:52] cannot handle a lot of beer turner and hooch lied to us

[17:56] so i mean getting back to this dog though wait didn't hooch

[17:59] die in that movie yeah he got shot in the end yeah but i mean natural cause

[18:03] but i bet like a week later he would have died from all that booze in his

[18:07] system his name is hooch i mean come on yeah yeah come on elliot

[18:12] remember that song i didn't make turner hooch

[18:15] wait what's on that they wrote about him yeah it's hooch

[18:19] no it's hooch everybody turner and hooch no

[18:22] his name's hooch turner got the dog named hooch

[18:27] everybody hooch everybody hooch everybody hooch yeah that was it yeah

[18:31] that was it i guess no i want to know what hallie's

[18:33] song was it's the song looks like i got the hooch

[18:39] baby i got the only sweetest dog in the world

[18:48] uh i what i liked was the confidence that you took that song

[18:53] you gotta if you want to hey here's the deal allie if you want it's not that

[18:57] i know how to sell it it's just that it had been a little far removed

[19:00] elliot because you offered your own

[19:04] what better time to serve up another hooch parody song

[19:09] so where were we like this hooch hooch hooch

[19:12] hooch hooch this movie's called turner and hooch

[19:16] makes me want to hooch so there's a scene where

[19:19] olivia wilde is how does it

[19:24] where have all the hooches gone

[19:30] that don't impress on me

[19:37] looks like we made hooch look how far we've come my turner

[19:44] that's why they call it the hooch

[19:49] he's got hooch dreams i just wrote a theme song for a movie that doesn't have

[19:53] a theme song and then i've turned it into a hooch song

[19:55] that movie is hoop dreams

[19:58] okay so what was happening

[20:00] So they brought a dog back to life, but this dog is crazy mad and crazy strong, and the serum, which is supposed to fade away from his body, is not fading away.

[20:08] And everyone's like, what's the deal with this dog? He just uses magic powers to eat our pizza.

[20:12] Then they kind of forget about the dog for a little bit.

[20:14] Their funding gets pulled by the university because what they're doing is against the laws of God and not what they were supposed to be doing.

[20:23] And the university is funded by a lot of Catholics. That's what they say.

[20:28] She says 83% of our student body identifies as religious. If you put donors in, that's up to 90%.

[20:35] It's a weird thing to bring up.

[20:40] And also the fact that if they really brought a dog back to life, this would be the most famous college in the world, and it would be huge publicity for this college.

[20:48] Oh, our lab brought the dead back to life. This is literally the biggest scientific breakthrough in history.

[20:56] If God didn't want it, he'd turn Olivia Wilde into some kind of weird demon lady that kills all of us.

[21:01] At the same time, however, they lose control of the project because the company that gave them the grant becomes purchased by another company called Cryoloss or something.

[21:14] It's got an evil-sounding name, and Ray Wise steps in, takes all their stuff, and then tangoes his way out and does not appear for the rest of the film.

[21:24] But also there's supposed to be someone that's weirdly sinister within the group because the woman who cuts them off from the grant is like,

[21:33] I saw, we know that you were testing on animals. How could you know that? But it's never clarified.

[21:40] Yeah, he's suggesting that somebody's been informing on them, and the woman who, what, the head of the university is like,

[21:48] but she doesn't seem very sure of herself.

[21:51] But none of the core group ever seems to be guilty.

[21:54] Yeah, unless we weren't paying attention, which is really possible.

[21:58] Not possible for me. Totally absorbed.

[22:00] But it was never definitively resolved. There was a scene later on where they're like,

[22:09] someone's been watching us through the computer, but they don't know who it was.

[22:12] I think it was never supposed to be that important a thing. I guess Ray Wise with the eye on the Wise Potato Chips.

[22:18] It's the viewer.

[22:19] Because he's like an owl.

[22:20] Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I think Hallie's right. It's supposed to be like a mirror.

[22:24] It's us.

[22:25] It's like funny games where you're supposed to feel shitty for watching this movie.

[22:28] Oh, like Sucker Punch. Okay.

[22:29] Yeah.

[22:30] So let's set up these characters a little bit. So Mark Duplass and Olivia Wilde, there's trouble in paradise.

[22:35] She is very religious. He's an atheist.

[22:39] She's very religious. She's just more religious than an atheist.

[22:42] Well, but she believes in heaven and wears a cross around her neck.

[22:45] She doesn't like read Bible passages in like a crazy voice and use it as a means to assassinate people.

[22:52] No, that's a good point. That's true.

[22:54] So, okay, she is regular level religious. Mark Duplass is an atheist.

[22:58] So they've got a little bit of tension. Don McGlover has a crush on Olivia Wilde, which is…

[23:03] Not a huge surprise. That makes sense.

[23:05] I'm surprised any of the guys there don't have a crush on her, but inappropriate because that's his immediate superior.

[23:11] No, but they like grew up together, right?

[23:14] How did they possibly grow up together?

[23:15] Remember when she was like, when we were 22, you used to always say this to me.

[23:19] They're supposed to be 23 in the movie.

[23:21] Really?

[23:22] No, I don't know.

[23:23] Oh, it seemed like they were supposed to have known each other a long time.

[23:26] I think they were supposed to have known each other for a while.

[23:28] That's how she knew what sushi she liked.

[23:31] Donald Glover makes a pretty fumbly kind of pass, kind of implying that she should leave her fiancé.

[23:38] And then from that point on, he is like, I screwed up. I got to backtrack. I can't do this again.

[23:44] And the whole idea of him having a crush on her kind of doesn't really factor in after that.

[23:51] It doesn't matter. They get their funding cut.

[23:54] Ray Wise comes in and steals their junk, and they're like, hey…

[23:57] Steals their junk. Oh, my God.

[24:00] That explains why there's trouble in paradise between Duplass and the other…

[24:05] He's one of those Nigerian penis wizards who steals people's penises with magic.

[24:10] I should not joke about it.

[24:12] People get killed because they're accused of wizardry in certain countries.

[24:16] That country? The United States of America.

[24:18] The year was 16-something or other.

[24:20] You ever fall for one of those Nigerian penis scams?

[24:23] Yeah, well, they told me I had a million penises in a bank account waiting for me, and they just needed my penis length.

[24:28] So I sent it in. Next thing I know, they're using my penis.

[24:31] What fucking bank was it? Gringotts?

[24:33] Yeah, that's right.

[24:35] The bank from Harry Potter?

[24:38] Not familiar with that bank.

[24:40] It's staffed by gremlins, dude.

[24:42] The one Harry Potter movie I saw, it was pretty clear they were supposed to be Jewish.

[24:47] It was a little offensive.

[24:49] Just like, what's his name? Star Wars? Watto?

[24:52] Watto? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[24:54] Because all Jewish people can fly because of small wings and gas bladders?

[24:57] Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, and also –

[24:59] That old chestnut. Hey, he's wearing like a weird little cap.

[25:02] It's a big stereotype that Jews bet on pod races.

[25:05] Yeah.

[25:06] They bet the freedom of their slaves on the outcome of pod races.

[25:09] And that Jedi mind tricks don't work on them.

[25:13] Now, here's the thing.

[25:15] They decide to sneak into the lab.

[25:17] They've still got some of the serum.

[25:19] They're going to videotape themselves bringing another animal back to life so that they can get the credit.

[25:24] And the proof, and I guess upload it to YouTube or something or like E-Bombs World.

[25:28] I don't know. Wherever you put videos these days.

[25:30] Unfortunately, something goes wrong.

[25:32] They sneak in. It's totally fine.

[25:34] They blank out the security cameras and I guess play a music video like in Toys.

[25:38] So that the security guys think they're watching MTV.

[25:41] I don't know why their TV would get MTV at the security desk.

[25:44] But they needed a musical number in Toys.

[25:46] Am I going to question Barry Levinson?

[25:48] No, it wasn't Barry Levinson.

[25:49] It was Barry Levinson.

[25:50] It was Barry Levinson.

[25:51] I'm not going to question Barry Levinson.

[25:52] The guy, you know.

[25:54] You just did.

[25:55] He cut his teeth as a cinematographer.

[25:57] And then I'm not going to get a Barry Sonnenfeld.

[25:59] Yeah.

[26:00] He made Diner.

[26:01] A movie that's overrated.

[26:03] Wow.

[26:04] Wow, okay.

[26:05] I just said I wouldn't question him and Dan just decided to joke at him.

[26:07] Wow.

[26:08] It's all right.

[26:09] So we get a real great caper sequence where they're sneaking into the lab.

[26:13] Yeah.

[26:14] And tricking this poor security guard who's probably just like, you know,

[26:17] just count down the hours before he can go home to his family and take care of his kids.

[26:21] And make oatmeal and whatever.

[26:23] What's going to happen?

[26:24] Michael Moore going to come in and try to bust into our university and talk to the dean with a camera?

[26:28] And I'm like, dude, I don't know.

[26:30] This is just my job, okay?

[26:31] I get paid minimum wage.

[26:33] Now you're bugging me?

[26:34] Oh, come on.

[26:35] You should be on my side.

[26:36] But no.

[26:37] Anyway, so they are going to bring back some animal.

[26:40] Unfortunately, Olivia Wilde's dog.

[26:42] They do bring back an animal.

[26:43] A wild animal.

[26:45] Continue with your synopsis, Elliot.

[26:49] And they're going to bring back a pig, right?

[26:51] No, it's another dog.

[26:52] Unfortunately, Olivia Wilde flips the switch for the electricity and gets electrocuted.

[26:58] Bum, bum, bum.

[26:59] Because she takes off all her jewelry, but she forgets to take off her engagement ring.

[27:06] And basically, Mark Duplass has been holding her in this holding pattern of like,

[27:09] sure, we're going to get engaged.

[27:11] Gives her the ring.

[27:12] And then never.

[27:13] They've been engaged for like three years.

[27:16] It's a classic guys and dolls scenario.

[27:18] It's our 15th anniversary.

[27:19] Oh, really?

[27:20] Yeah, we've been engaged for 15 years.

[27:22] So you see, it's poignant that she would forget to take off her engagement ring.

[27:26] Because she's forgotten.

[27:27] Which maybe he never planned to honor.

[27:29] Yeah, I don't understand why her engagement ring would conduct electricity any better than just her hand.

[27:35] Her.

[27:36] Yeah.

[27:37] Because it's metal.

[27:38] Her bare hand is touching the thing.

[27:40] It's not like her bare hand is made out of rubber.

[27:42] Yeah.

[27:44] Her hand, like, yeah, would have conducted electricity, too.

[27:47] Like, as long as she was grounded, it would have been the same thing.

[27:50] Oh, she's not grounded.

[27:51] She's a Hollywood star.

[27:52] Oh, OK.

[27:53] Oh, no.

[27:54] Let me take that back.

[27:55] And Olivia Wilde is very grounded, even though she's a Hollywood star.

[27:58] OK.

[27:59] She's just like you or me.

[28:00] Yeah, that's better.

[28:01] Yeah, that was better.

[28:02] I didn't need to cast aspersions on her.

[28:03] She seems like a sweetheart.

[28:04] American sweetheart.

[28:05] She's not listening, Dan.

[28:06] Don't worry.

[28:10] Now Dan is grounded.

[28:12] Now you're supposed to sing I'm Just Wild About Olivia.

[28:17] Like Michigan J frog, your idol, who you've always patterned yourself after.

[28:25] That's right.

[28:28] What's the J stand for?

[28:30] Josiah.

[28:32] Wow.

[28:33] Actually, I don't know what it stands for.

[28:34] Jesus, probably.

[28:35] Michigan Jesus.

[28:36] Yeah, it's a whole Jesus analogy.

[28:39] Because that's the mystery of faith.

[28:41] You can't prove it.

[28:42] You can't show it to anybody else.

[28:44] You just have to feel it when nobody else is around.

[28:46] And Jesus will sing like, hello, my baby.

[28:48] Hello, my honey.

[28:49] Just to you, because he's carrying you.

[28:52] That's the WC.

[28:57] The WC?

[28:58] The WC.

[28:59] The water closet?

[29:00] I mean, now it's the CW, so it's kind of.

[29:05] That's not the frog.

[29:06] It's just directing you to the bathroom.

[29:11] No, I honestly sang that because when I was in like sixth grade,

[29:16] my friends and I had a joke about.

[29:21] A woman never tells her.

[29:23] It was a joke that we changed that song because we were in a walking club.

[29:30] You were a wild kid.

[29:32] Man.

[29:33] And we were like, are you ready to walk?

[29:35] Oh, that's the WC.

[29:38] Lock up your sons and farm implements.

[29:41] Hallie's on the prowl.

[29:43] Yeah, well, I walked here, didn't I?

[29:46] You don't even want to know how you get jumped into the walking club.

[29:51] Olivia Wilde is dead.

[29:53] They try a lot of things to bring her back.

[29:55] Olivia Wilde is dead?

[29:56] In the movie.

[29:57] Oh, thank God.

[29:58] They try a lot of things to bring her back.

[29:59] They stab her in the heart with adrenaline.

[30:00] Use the shock paddles.

[30:01] They rip her shirt open so everyone can see her bra.

[30:03] They stick their dicks.

[30:05] No, no, no, no.

[30:08] This one to get a reaction from her?

[30:11] No.

[30:13] You better try.

[30:15] Oh, it's terrible.

[30:16] That's in the porn parody, The Lazarus Erect.

[30:18] So there's nothing they can do.

[30:21] Somebody eventually hits on the idea, oh, yeah,

[30:23] we have this bring people back from the dead serum.

[30:26] Let's use that on her.

[30:27] And it works.

[30:30] Bum, bum, bum.

[30:32] But it leaves her with two little wound marks

[30:35] on the sides of her head.

[30:36] But one wound mark made sense, because it

[30:38] was the place where they had stuck her with that needle.

[30:41] They insert the needle with the serum.

[30:42] Yeah.

[30:42] Wait, she had multiple wounds?

[30:44] No, she only had one.

[30:45] Yeah.

[30:45] Well, it was on two different sides of her head,

[30:47] depending on the shock.

[30:48] Depending on the shock.

[30:49] Might have been a continuity problem.

[30:51] And then they put a little Band-Aid over

[30:52] to make sure her brains and all the juice don't leak out.

[30:55] You don't want to lose the juice.

[30:56] That's the best part.

[30:57] Keeps the brain moist.

[30:58] So she wakes up.

[30:59] She's like, oh, remember that?

[31:02] The SNL sketch that never made any sense?

[31:04] Yeah, sure.

[31:04] I remember that one.

[31:06] And so she starts acting a little funky, funky.

[31:11] Dig a dig a bop.

[31:13] She dig a dig a bops, indeed.

[31:16] She finds that, so they had a big debate earlier.

[31:20] When you die, your body is flooded with chemicals

[31:23] by your brain.

[31:24] Does it cause you to hallucinate that you're

[31:26] entering the afterlife?

[31:27] Or is it easing your soul into the afterlife?

[31:30] And she believes that she has been in hell.

[31:33] You see, she's had bad dreams about a room on fire

[31:36] and a little girl who can do nothing about it

[31:38] and dolls burning up.

[31:39] Because that's a spooky thing to see, I guess.

[31:41] It basically looks like she's.

[31:43] Dude, if you saw dolls burning up,

[31:45] you would be fucking freaked out.

[31:46] No, that's her memory from when she was a child.

[31:48] I know.

[31:48] I'm going to call this the Are You Afraid of the Dark

[31:50] theorem, which is what me and my brother and sister

[31:52] used to say about the show Are You Afraid of the Dark.

[31:54] We'd say, well, it's not scary to watch.

[31:57] But if you were in that situation,

[31:58] it would be very scary.

[32:00] Sure.

[32:00] If I was in this situation.

[32:01] I love this.

[32:02] This is like such a children's rationalization for like,

[32:04] no, we have to enjoy this somehow.

[32:07] No, but it's so cute watching you and your siblings.

[32:12] Yeah, like if you see like a gorilla in a movie,

[32:15] you're probably like, hey, Stephanie, come out.

[32:19] Stephanie flew here all the way from London.

[32:21] Amazing.

[32:22] I mean, it's like if you see a gorilla in a movie,

[32:24] you're like, oh, that gorilla's cute.

[32:26] But if you saw the gorilla in real life,

[32:27] you'd be like terrified of that thing.

[32:29] Oh, that's hot.

[32:32] OK.

[32:32] Isn't that interesting?

[32:34] Let's put a hat and coat on him and go out to dinner.

[32:38] I know a great place that serves bananas.

[32:40] What was the restaurant we talked about in Zookeeper?

[32:42] It was T-G-I-F-F-P, not N-A. Thank goodness it's Friday

[32:48] for people, not apes or something like that.

[32:53] Anyway, they bring her back.

[32:56] And she says, I was in hell.

[32:57] I spent years in my worst memory.

[33:00] And I couldn't help them.

[33:01] And they were burning.

[33:02] And I mean, this gets revealed at the end

[33:04] as if it's a surprise.

[33:05] But when she was a girl, she accidentally set a fire.

[33:07] And I guess her family died or somebody died.

[33:10] I know, it's her fault.

[33:13] It is her fault. And now she's back.

[33:15] And she's got Lucy Akira powers.

[33:18] And she starts using them to kill people one by one

[33:21] for no discernible reason.

[33:23] Did we make this clear that the serum activates

[33:27] extra parts of your brain?

[33:28] Yes.

[33:30] Now she has telekinetic powers.

[33:31] But she's also a demon woman.

[33:33] And telepathic powers.

[33:34] Yeah.

[33:35] And I think it is clear.

[33:36] OK, so she lives.

[33:40] She's a Catholic.

[33:41] And also, she lives in constant guilt of this thing

[33:44] where she killed her whole family.

[33:47] And her power, so basically, she's

[33:50] able to hear the thoughts of all of their people.

[33:54] And so she winds up killing them when

[33:56] she hears that they don't really love her.

[34:01] Because every time she kills someone,

[34:03] it's like they're saying, this isn't really you.

[34:08] What's her name again?

[34:11] Her name is Zoe, which means life, by the way.

[34:14] Oh.

[34:17] And Mark Duplass's character's name, Frank, like Frankenstein.

[34:21] And Donald Glover's character's name, Niko,

[34:23] like Niko in the Velvet Underground.

[34:26] And oh, and Quicksilver's character's named Clay,

[34:29] like the clay of life, I guess.

[34:31] Like it's a golem.

[34:31] Yeah, you make a golem out of them.

[34:32] Niko probably means something about life in Greek

[34:34] or something.

[34:35] And Sarah Bolger, the videographer.

[34:36] I bet it means, like, new or something.

[34:38] Yeah, the character's name is.

[34:40] It's like Bolger from Wizard of Oz.

[34:42] Or Ray Bolger.

[34:43] I mean, that's just her name.

[34:44] Yeah, exactly.

[34:46] That one doesn't have any hidden meaning to it.

[34:48] They just happen to be two people with the same last name.

[34:50] Her character's name is Eva, like Eve,

[34:53] or like the robot in WALL-E.

[34:56] Oh, yeah.

[34:58] There's a robot in WALL-E.

[35:00] That's the twist.

[35:02] So basically, she just wants to.

[35:03] She's like, oh, he's a robot.

[35:05] So at first, you're like, oh, maybe she's OK.

[35:08] And then pretty quick, you're like, oh, no, she's not.

[35:10] She's going to be almost as bad as that dog.

[35:12] Now, I was expecting that dog to get

[35:13] into some real fucking shenanigans.

[35:16] I was like, I was about to be like, I was about to be like,

[35:19] hey, Korn, step aside.

[35:20] There's a new freak on a leash.

[35:25] You are really the walks in the park are long tonight.

[35:30] The dog kind of disappears from the movie.

[35:32] Does she kill it?

[35:33] Yes, she does.

[35:33] That's right.

[35:34] The dog starts growling at her and she and she looks at it.

[35:37] And then you hear, and you know it's dead.

[35:40] But but so she basically always kills people when she's like half aware

[35:45] because because when it when she's first brought back to life,

[35:47] she's like half aware of her, like how wrong it was that she was brought back

[35:53] because she had these initial suspicions with the dog.

[35:55] She was like, I don't think we should have brought him back.

[35:58] Even though she then brings the dog into her apartment,

[36:00] we ripped him back from heaven.

[36:01] All dogs go to heaven.

[36:03] Someone mentioned that's in the book of Bluth.

[36:06] Yeah. But so she's constantly like hearing the people's thoughts of like,

[36:12] this isn't the real Zoe.

[36:14] I have to stab Zoe with this needle.

[36:16] Yeah, that happens with Donald Glover because she tries to kiss him

[36:20] and she knows that he's in love with her.

[36:22] But like he's so weirded out because he knows it's not her.

[36:25] So he won't kiss her.

[36:26] Hurls him into a storage locker and crushes him to death

[36:29] until blood pours out the body.

[36:30] He's a Capri Sun made out of blood.

[36:33] And as Hallie pointed out, I think while we're watching it,

[36:35] aside from Olivia Wilde, who dies and then comes back,

[36:39] Donald Glover is the first victim and is the only black character.

[36:42] So like they could have easily gone out of their way

[36:45] not to kill the black guy first.

[36:46] No, but there's that there's that character who vapes a lot.

[36:50] Yeah. He dies afterwards.

[36:52] Yeah. But it was really important that they kept him around longer

[36:56] so he could be so he could vape.

[36:59] They do have his character.

[37:01] He need more time to develop that character.

[37:03] Their characteristics were like Mark Duplass doesn't really care

[37:06] about other people.

[37:07] Olivia Wilde, religious and nice.

[37:09] Donald Glover, black and has a crush on Olivia Wilde.

[37:13] Quicksilver vapes and videographer girl.

[37:16] And those are their characters.

[37:18] Like, I mean, that's your interpretation with your limited

[37:22] from your position of privilege.

[37:23] Yeah, I'm indicting the filmmakers.

[37:27] I'm not saying these people are that way.

[37:30] All right. And the characters are.

[37:32] Well, I saw a rich tapestry of human beings when I watched

[37:36] there's a real humans of New York story.

[37:39] So she kills Vapo by making him choke on his vape e-cigarette.

[37:43] Mm hmm. It's like a weird public service announcement against vaping.

[37:48] Yeah. She's like, that's her first two kills

[37:51] are the most Freddy Krueger kills you can think of.

[37:54] Except she doesn't have puns afterwards.

[37:56] I mean, she does wink at him when he's dying,

[37:59] when he's choking on his fucking sick vape mod.

[38:02] Isn't this ironic? He he he he.

[38:05] That's cool.

[38:06] Mm hmm. You wish you could kill people with your mind powers with their vapes.

[38:11] Yeah. Oh, wow. Not really.

[38:13] You just don't approve of their lifestyle.

[38:14] No. You know what?

[38:16] God bless every vape.

[38:21] Then Mark Duplass and the other girl are left and he's like,

[38:25] I'm going to inject her with some kind of thing that stops this.

[38:28] But the best part is when they pull his vape pen out of his neck

[38:33] and they're like, he choked on his vape pen like no shit, dude.

[38:38] And we just saw it happen.

[38:39] He was vaping when he was yelling at Olivia Wilde.

[38:44] It takes them a long time to.

[38:46] And this also they don't leave this the the basement laboratory

[38:50] they're in for almost the entire movie.

[38:52] And Olivia Wilde is just sitting there, does a crazy thing

[38:55] and then goes back to sitting there.

[38:57] It takes them forever to realize something wrong is happening

[39:01] other than just like a bad sort of feeling.

[39:03] And it also takes her forever to like pull off whatever plan she has.

[39:07] Like there's no reason for her to wait to kill everybody one at a time.

[39:12] Because you don't understand.

[39:13] She's fighting.

[39:14] She's only killing because she's struggling with like human.

[39:18] And when she's not killing, she's just sitting there glaring at everybody.

[39:22] Yeah. But she's like trying to be human.

[39:24] Oh, you think she's struggling with it?

[39:26] Yeah. That's why she only kills when she realizes that like people think

[39:30] by the end, she's just a total she's just a total maniac monster.

[39:33] Yeah. She's like floating around.

[39:35] Man, remember, she was almost brought back with Mark Duplass.

[39:38] And he was like, I love you. I love you.

[39:40] And she was like crying.

[39:42] And she said, do you really love me?

[39:44] And then she touched his head and then she said she heard his thoughts.

[39:49] And he was like, I never loved you.

[39:50] He's like, I have to stab her.

[39:52] This isn't even her fucking slut.

[39:55] She's an oil eyed bitch.

[39:58] Also, when she does.

[40:00] She uses her crazy powers, her eyes turn black, like she's got the black oil from the X-Files in her body.

[40:04] And I was like, where's Alex Krychek?

[40:06] Where are all the characters we've come to love from the X-Files?

[40:10] So, when she kills Mark Duplass by squeezing his head real good,

[40:15] why did they put all the CGI to make his face look like his face is exploding, kinda?

[40:19] Like, it doesn't actually explode.

[40:21] No, but they had CGI blood spurting out of his nose.

[40:23] Do you mean you just wish they'd gone the extra step and, like, you'd seen the full on?

[40:27] Yes, I want to see, like, a full on, like, they should've done a quick cut,

[40:30] and she should've, like, ripped his head off.

[40:32] I would've loved if they just did, like, a smash cut to a Tomatoes,

[40:36] where you think, like, a really cheap effect, they just, like, cut and all of a sudden it's a tomato that...

[40:42] It's like that shot in Dead Alive, or Brain Dead, depending on what country you're watching the movie,

[40:49] where the baby pulls itself through the woman's face,

[40:54] and there's a moment, like, you're watching it and, yeah, you can see a clear cut where they're like,

[40:58] this is her face, now this is a dummy where a little baby thing is pulling itself through,

[41:02] but at the same time you're laughing and it's gross.

[41:05] They should've done that.

[41:06] That baby sounds like a really good actor.

[41:08] That baby is, should've been a star.

[41:11] They could've made a whole franchise off of the zombie baby.

[41:13] If that baby wasn't a puppet, then yeah, star quality.

[41:17] Even so, because it's a puppet, I mean, it's not like a puppet hasn't been a star before.

[41:21] Look at fucking Chucky, dude.

[41:23] Superstar.

[41:24] Just look at Charlie McCarthy.

[41:26] Look at the Muppets.

[41:27] You know what?

[41:28] You turned me around on this.

[41:29] Why is Peter Jackson wasting his time on the fucking Tolkien shit

[41:34] when he could be making zombie baby movies?

[41:36] Establishing a cinematic universe based on the zombie baby character.

[41:40] That's all original stuff.

[41:41] If I wanted Tolkien, I've got three to a thousand books I could read about it.

[41:46] I could Silmarillion as much as I want,

[41:48] but there's only one place for me to get zombie baby, too, with the Dawn of the Dead remake, I guess.

[41:53] Yeah.

[41:53] And I guess It's Alive is not a zombie baby, but the baby is a mutant that kind of acts like a zombie.

[41:57] What about Trainspotting?

[42:00] I mean, that's a hallucination of a baby that spins his head around.

[42:03] But what about Baby's Day Out?

[42:06] That's a live adult.

[42:08] That's a live adult baby.

[42:09] That's the live baby.

[42:11] That's how he survived all of his sex.

[42:12] I mean, there is a sequence in Dead Alive that is basically like a Baby's Day Out,

[42:16] where for some reason Lionel decides to take the zombie baby to the park.

[42:20] It was so funny.

[42:21] It's like, there's no reason to do that.

[42:23] What about Pet Sematary?

[42:24] Didn't the baby come back to that?

[42:25] Oh, that was totally a zombie baby.

[42:27] That's a zombie baby, right.

[42:28] And also, of course, the...

[42:29] And the Lazarus Effect style thing, where you're like,

[42:32] why did you bring that baby back to life?

[42:35] Because he wants that baby back ribs.

[42:38] He's saying, I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

[42:43] And also, there was that...

[42:46] The Haitian Smokey Jazz Review cabaret show, Zombie Baby.

[42:53] Now, let's make a very long story short,

[42:56] because this is actually one of the shorter movies we've watched.

[42:58] It's less than an hour and a half.

[42:59] I feel like we basically told everything that needs to be told.

[43:01] Well, the thing at the end is,

[43:05] the videographer, Eva, goes into Olivia Wilde's memories

[43:09] and tells the girl, you can open the door.

[43:11] And they open the door, and it seems like she's cured Olivia Wilde's psychosis.

[43:15] But then, she stabs her with the syringe that's supposed to cure her.

[43:19] Some firemen run in, and she looks over, and Olivia Wilde's gone.

[43:23] And the fireman is actually Olivia Wilde, and she snaps Eva's neck.

[43:27] And then, it ends then with...

[43:30] You would think that would be the ending of the movie,

[43:32] where you're like, oh, that was a great final scare movie.

[43:34] But it's not.

[43:35] Then, a Dalmatian comes in and starts licking the body's face.

[43:40] No, no.

[43:41] It's the fireman.

[43:43] He really ran with the fireman.

[43:45] Then, Olivia Wilde proceeds to bring back Mark Duplass with the serum,

[43:49] smash cut the Lazarus Effect title scene.

[43:53] I guess, setting up for a sequel to Lazarus Effect 2, effecting it.

[43:56] So, I only remember flatliners from a very big, far distance.

[44:05] Sure.

[44:06] Anyone who can conjure it more vividly in their mind,

[44:09] did this seem actually...

[44:11] Because in my mind, flatliners was a really good movie.

[44:14] It's not, but...

[44:15] It's a better movie.

[44:16] It's a better movie than this.

[44:18] Flatliners is, they are deliberately stopping their hearts,

[44:21] and then bringing themselves back.

[44:23] And they do it, but when they do it, they are breaking the barrier between worlds.

[44:28] They bring something back with them.

[44:30] And they're forced to all confront their own personal demons.

[44:34] Yeah, they're demons.

[44:36] They withheld the truth.

[44:37] That's the same as lying.

[44:38] That was my favorite line from them.

[44:42] But it's...

[44:43] It's really put an imprint on you.

[44:45] The thing that stuck out to me the most about flatliners...

[44:47] I'm so honest with everybody.

[44:48] ...was that their medical dissection class is in this dimly lit room,

[44:52] hung with tapestries.

[44:53] Yeah.

[44:54] They're like, oh, I guess we're taking a medical class from Cogliostro.

[44:58] But they also, this setting was so limited.

[45:02] You were always in the same lab.

[45:04] Whereas, at least with flatliners, when they died,

[45:06] they were, like, by a tree in a field, right?

[45:09] Yeah, well, depending on who died.

[45:11] I feel like everyone who died, like, went to a different place, right?

[45:14] Well, that only brings my point further.

[45:16] Yeah, depending on what your background was.

[45:18] Yeah, and Kiefer Sutherland was with it.

[45:20] He, like, some black people made fun of him,

[45:22] and then he hit them or something.

[45:24] Yeah, there was some kid that...

[45:26] Was taunting him.

[45:27] Yeah.

[45:28] And then the Baldwin was, like, videotaping people he was having sex with.

[45:32] Whoa, I gotta see this again.

[45:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[45:35] I saw this when I was so young.

[45:37] What was Julia Roberts's?

[45:39] I think it had something to do with her dad.

[45:41] Oh, right, her dad was a Vietnam veteran.

[45:44] Yeah, he committed suicide.

[45:46] I think that's what the tree was.

[45:48] Did she go and, like, find him hanging from the tree or something?

[45:51] Possibly.

[45:52] Now, I feel like if you're going to do,

[45:54] I hate a movie like this because it so makes me want to be, like,

[45:57] backseat driver and makes me want to be, like,

[46:00] well, if they had, I don't know,

[46:02] established the geography of this one specific location a little bit better,

[46:06] it could have been a little tenser.

[46:08] Or if they, I don't know, like, kind of downplayed Olivia Wilde's, like,

[46:13] craziness initially.

[46:15] She's crazy from the moment they bring her back.

[46:18] Or if they're going to do that,

[46:20] if they play up the idea that Olivia Wilde realizes that she was in hell

[46:23] and that she's back and for whatever reason she doesn't want to go back to

[46:27] hell and the only reason she commits acts of violence is to keep herself

[46:31] from there, like she's almost like a junkie to not be in hell.

[46:34] That would be a motivation that makes more sense to me.

[46:37] But, or if she played up the idea that she is back from hell

[46:43] and in addition she brought, like, a demon passenger with her,

[46:46] if they played up the dual personalities a little bit more,

[46:49] that would have been interesting.

[46:50] I don't know.

[46:51] That was what I thought the plot was for a while,

[46:53] was that she had been to hell and had brought something back with her

[46:55] because that it's just that this serum gives them special,

[46:59] gives her mutant brain powers is the most boring route, I feel like.

[47:04] They even have at one point, Donald Glover's like,

[47:07] humans only use 10% of their brain at a time.

[47:11] And it's like that corny old chestnut that it seems like that's,

[47:16] at this point that is…

[47:18] Corny old chestnut.

[47:19] Corned chestnuts.

[47:21] It's well trodden territory.

[47:23] The idea of like, oh, now I have a super brain and I can do things.

[47:27] I can do magic powers with it.

[47:29] Not that going to hell and bringing something back is not well trodden territory also.

[47:32] And it's just like her powers are pretty vague,

[47:36] exactly what's going to happen, like her motivations are vague,

[47:40] other than I want to kill these guys in Freddy Krueger ways.

[47:43] It's not too different from the demons in Night of the Demons,

[47:46] a movie that's way better and you should go watch that instead of this movie.

[47:50] Is that the one where they're at the movie theater?

[47:51] No, Night of the Demons is where they're at Hull House, the haunted house,

[47:54] and there's a Halloween party.

[47:56] Oh, okay.

[47:57] And they listen to a Bauhaus song and it's awesome.

[48:00] I will say, I think you guys are pretty locked in this, like,

[48:04] you guys obviously watch a lot more fantasy, superhero, special powers movies than I do.

[48:11] And I thought that there was something human about the psychology of

[48:17] feeling very conflicted about like,

[48:19] you just realized hell was reliving your biggest guilt and you can't escape it.

[48:28] And, like, her psychology about killing people seemed very tied to the pain that

[48:37] she felt about, like, not being loved by anyone because she had committed this

[48:41] horrible act and then hearing that they didn't identify her or love with her.

[48:45] I think that would be, I wish that they didn't have the whole,

[48:49] I caused this fire when I was a kid.

[48:52] And it was just that she wanted to be loved and was finding that that was missing

[48:58] because that was something we've seen a lot in movies we've watched is, like,

[49:02] someone has a mysterious memory and then they've got a, I mean, that's, it's,

[49:07] like, that's a pretty hackneyed trope at this point.

[49:12] But because it's, like, real human psychology that, like,

[49:16] something imprints on you when you're young that, like,

[49:19] tells you you shouldn't be loved and then that follows you for the rest of your life?

[49:23] No, no.

[49:24] The idea that, like, well, it's more the idea I hurt somebody when I was young

[49:28] and it's going to be revealed in cryptic flashbacks throughout the film and then

[49:32] at the end that's the, like, thing that has to be forgiven or solved.

[49:36] I wish that there was, like.

[49:38] Although they kind of disproved that notion because that didn't actually

[49:41] solve it.

[49:42] It didn't help at all.

[49:43] Yeah.

[49:44] Yeah.

[49:45] And I feel like then describing it makes it sound more subversive in that way

[49:49] than it actually was.

[49:50] No, I'm, I, it was, like, a fine movie.

[49:52] I think I liked it more than you guys did, but I also think that, like,

[49:55] you guys.

[49:56] You definitely liked it more than I did.

[49:57] Have locked into, like, a.

[50:00] Formula, I don't even superiors I think when you've you've seen you we watch the

[50:08] same kind of movie over and over again for this dumb podcast that we do called

[50:11] the flop house and maybe you've heard of it so I think a listener yeah so we're

[50:17] so I know speaking for myself I'm more tired of it I mean now I'd be right

[50:22] there might be your you might be saying that we just might be a lunatic you're

[50:25] looking for the by William Joel turn out the light turn out the light it's

[50:30] kind of hazy I don't know the lyrics to you know I mean I think there's probably

[50:40] something to what you're saying Haley that we are we are predisposed to

[50:44] dislike this shitty horror movie we're about to watch and we specifically

[50:49] chosen for the I go into every movie hoping it's gonna be a good movie

[50:56] unless it's the one I know it's gonna be bad like food all right Dan's getting

[50:59] annoyed with us no no I just we're getting into judgments now so we should

[51:03] get into the part of the show that's specifically about judgment hey let's

[51:06] open the door which is go into judgment we're opening the door and get on the

[51:11] floor and walk the dinosaur over to the judgments there's one thing I'm walking

[51:14] over to the judgment area walk past this creepy door down down boy all right

[51:28] now we're the judgment area how he's left the room he's walked out of the

[51:34] room wow that's a harsh judgment now Dan what are we doing judgment what are our

[51:38] ratings for Shocktober well now we're in the final judgments and the the

[51:44] categories are was this movie totally scarifying was it totally snorifying or

[51:52] was it frighteningly funny I'll go and say that this was totally snorifying but

[52:01] more snorifying movie it was not that bad like it was a bad movie that was not

[52:08] as bad as many movies we watch no it was just kind of like a non-entity to me

[52:13] it was snorifying because I had seen it before but if you're coming into this

[52:17] type of movie new you might like it I'll say one thing about it though like

[52:21] before we move before you guys give your ratings it was not scary no if you're

[52:25] looking for a scary movie this is not gonna this is not it there's a couple of

[52:30] jump scares there's a jump scare that is inexplicably followed by a weird pig

[52:36] sound effect that doesn't make any sense cuz there's no pig to be found but

[52:41] no I think you're right I mean part of it is the movie is kind of helped by by

[52:47] like the charm of actors that I like yeah I think I swore I saw an interview

[52:54] with Olivia Wilde talking about this movie where she was like yeah I just

[52:57] wanted to do a crazy horror movie and it does seem like she's kind of having fun

[53:02] definitely seems like she's enjoying it and like I wish that there was more of a

[53:06] sense of more of a fun role to play out then oh yeah yeah he's the monster not

[53:12] the victims and the I mean I wish that the movie had been directed less like I

[53:21] want to say artlessly yeah I wish it had been drew it had been more sushi base

[53:27] hero dreams of killing but like I want to say artlessly but I feel like it's

[53:32] like that it felt too often that the director was trying to do the same old

[53:36] shit trying to do the same like slow-motion dolls catching on fire type

[53:42] bullshit when this is a movie where you could just be a little more patient and

[53:46] it would probably be a little bit scarier spending just more time with a

[53:51] camera on a weird dog's face would be scarier than what they showed us Hallie

[53:57] wait I don't even know what my my score was totally snore fine yeah sure

[54:01] how would you think wait so what are the categories only scare fine totally

[54:08] snore fine or frighteningly funny I guess I guess snore fine but I didn't

[54:17] actually think it didn't scare me at all and I am more susceptible to scares you

[54:23] guys you guys even preface this with like at least it'll give you a few good

[54:28] scares Hallie well that was an email invitation to be a guest so I was not

[54:40] scared at all but I clearly didn't get bored the luxury of this film was that

[54:47] it was not long it was very short so I felt like I was able to bring more of a

[54:54] critical eye to it because I I feel like every time we watch a movie I'm like

[55:00] into it and then we're like an hour and a half in and I realized we still have

[55:04] another hour and I feel like I hate everything about movies that's why I

[55:10] like watching movies with you is I was I don't remember if I've said this on the

[55:13] podcast but I was saying this to Hallie before watching it that when we watch

[55:16] our movies with Hallie usually she the scares hit her every time for the first

[55:21] hour and then like for the next hour she's like just wants it over and she

[55:25] hates it she'll just say things like just kill the ghost bitch she's just

[55:31] saying that stuff to the screen because she's so bored so I appreciated I

[55:37] thought the link of this movie made it engaging and I did find but and like I

[55:43] thought it was a you know a simple had it been to play it would have been

[55:54] totally fine would have been better I would give it a C- for the film itself

[55:58] an A on length and I think a B if it was a play yeah exactly okay so that's how I

[56:05] tie is a pedantic person I think when he pronounces these words it's in a very

[56:16] show-off II way gyro gyro Sacre bleu Sacre bleu Ayers Rock

[56:23] foolaroo what you are witnessing is real the participants are not actors they're

[56:32] actual litigants with real cases they call in via Skype to judge John

[56:37] Hodgman's court the real people's court now I call you to judge John Hodgman's

[56:43] internet court find it at maximumfund.org or wherever you download podcasts but

[56:51] tonight the flop house is sponsored in part by Squarespace whether you need a

[56:57] landing page a beautiful gallery a professional blog or an online store

[57:02] it's all included with your Squarespace website now if you want a website I do

[57:09] the advantages of doing with Squarespace is you've got a simple intuitive process

[57:13] that's great cuz I got an idea for one okay well what else were you gonna say

[57:17] about Squarespace no you just add and arrange your content and features with

[57:20] the click of a mouse that'd be perfect for me

[57:25] I just climbed up onto a chair now you guys need to you guys know I often have

[57:31] ideas for websites sure for different businesses and here's that's convenient

[57:37] that Squarespace has been such a friend of the flop house to give you plenty of

[57:41] opportunities to talk about your website ideas it was let's forget let's not

[57:47] forget Werner Herzog's urethra you are sourced for news and reviews and I've

[57:52] got a new idea for a new site and I want to run it by you guys and I think

[57:56] Squarespace could really help me out with it's called freeze-dried boogers

[57:58] org we're a charity we're not a nonprofit didn't I with my booger thing

[58:06] today no I just have to be also I have a two-year-old in my house so boogers come

[58:10] up a lot not just in conversation with how though you get let's put a pin in

[58:14] your booger dog Hallie we'll get to that later

[58:16] let's my booger a lot of people don't have boogers and they need boogers it's

[58:21] hard to ship boogers because the boogers go bad that's where freeze-dried

[58:25] boogers org comes in we take in donations and 95% of what we take in 5%

[58:31] goes to administrative fees and fundraising 95% of what we take in goes

[58:35] straight to providing freeze-dried fresh boogers to those who need them most but

[58:40] this isn't really literally like a 20th 21st century version of the Ren and

[58:45] Stimpy like Nose Goblin episode that was a private collection of boogers mm-hmm

[58:51] all right so 21st century you're learning how to make money off of it

[58:55] it's a not-for-profit and I'd have you know that that's the problem is booger

[58:59] hoarding has become a very serious issue and the space between the booger haves

[59:03] and the booger have-nots has been widening if you want to read a Thomas

[59:07] pickety my noses book about booger capitalism it's all in there so

[59:14] org we're helping to bring the 99% of boogers back from the 1% yeah now Dan

[59:20] tell us more about Squarespace would I be able to my site show up on like

[59:23] mobile apps as well as I have this huge stack of library books and I have no

[59:29] boogers to stick in them before I return these library books back to the library

[59:32] I'm not sure I approve of the use but anyone who needs boogers can apply

[59:36] through the site Squarespace would be great for you because you can get a free

[59:41] custom domain perfect you got responsive design you've got beautiful templates

[59:45] that you can use to design your website because people on the go might want to

[59:49] order those boogers yeah well they might realize like I just realized my nose is

[59:53] empty and I'm not gonna maybe I can get the boogers by tomorrow if they're

[59:58] shipped overnight you know and they're free

[1:00:00] So they're fresh, you just stick them in.

[1:00:02] And at a certain age, you just stop producing boogers, right?

[1:00:05] I think it's the opposite.

[1:00:07] Your nose dries out.

[1:00:09] So, wait, when you say you just stick them in, do you stick them into your nose,

[1:00:12] and then your natural body heat warms up them boogs?

[1:00:15] That's the plan. That's how it works.

[1:00:17] Yeah, we call it boog warming.

[1:00:19] Can you put them in a toaster oven to get those boog rounds up and running?

[1:00:23] You could. You don't need to.

[1:00:26] Once they're in your hands, they're kind of up to you what you're going to do with them.

[1:00:29] That's the beauty of Squarespace.

[1:00:32] If you want to do a website, like Callie, or something less gross,

[1:00:40] you can start your free trial today at squarespace.com slash flop

[1:00:44] to get 10% off your first purchase.

[1:00:48] Say that last part again.

[1:00:50] You can start your free trial today at squarespace.com slash flop

[1:00:55] to get 10% off your first purchase.

[1:00:58] Squarespace.com slash flop for 10% off.

[1:01:01] freeze-driedboogers.org, here you come.

[1:01:03] Or whatever site you want to do.

[1:01:05] You know, create. You should. Squarespace.

[1:01:07] But also, our podcast tonight is sponsored by Blue Apron.

[1:01:13] Oh.

[1:01:15] Now, guys, not all green.

[1:01:17] Our only boogers.com competitor.

[1:01:20] Wow.

[1:01:21] What?

[1:01:23] Hallie said that blueapron.com is the only competitor for freeze-driedboogers.com.

[1:01:29] One, two, Blue Apron provides delicious food, and it's all measured out for you.

[1:01:34] That doesn't in any way fill the booger problem,

[1:01:38] unless it's a lot of dairy, which helps with mucus production.

[1:01:43] For less than $10 per meal,

[1:01:45] Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients

[1:01:49] to make delicious home-cooked meals.

[1:01:53] We've talked before. We've all had good experiences with Blue Apron.

[1:01:56] Yeah.

[1:01:57] If you've got good ingredients, you make good meals,

[1:02:01] and Blue Apron gives your ingredients pre-portioned out to you

[1:02:05] with easy-to-follow recipes,

[1:02:07] so you can make home-cooked meals at home.

[1:02:10] Let me tell you my least favorite part about cooking.

[1:02:12] Okay.

[1:02:13] It's the measuring.

[1:02:14] It'll say things like, a pinch of this, a dash of that.

[1:02:17] I don't know what that means.

[1:02:18] Even when it says, like, a cup of this,

[1:02:20] do I fill it up to the line, or, like, a little above the line,

[1:02:24] a little below the line?

[1:02:25] Do I use this Spiderman pint glass I just got sitting around,

[1:02:28] or do I use this tumbler that's shaped like a human face?

[1:02:31] Yeah, exactly.

[1:02:32] Is that a cup? It's a cup to me.

[1:02:34] I mean, I drink out of it, so it must be a cup.

[1:02:37] I mean, that's really dumb, at least for the cup part.

[1:02:42] You should at least know what a cup is.

[1:02:44] No, but with Parallax, if you look at it from above or below,

[1:02:47] you're not sure if it's a full cup or not.

[1:02:49] Blue Apron takes all that out of your hands.

[1:02:51] They measure it for you, and you can just dump it in.

[1:02:54] Some of the meals available in October,

[1:02:56] I always like to look at these.

[1:02:58] You've got your Thai green curry chicken and squash with yu choy,

[1:03:01] jasmine rice, and cashews.

[1:03:03] And boogers.

[1:03:05] Yeah, roasted pork steamed buns with black garlic mayonnaise

[1:03:09] and spicy cabbage slaw.

[1:03:11] That's delicious, even with the boogers.

[1:03:14] Stop saying that our sponsor has boogers in their food.

[1:03:18] Pardon me.

[1:03:19] Wow, I guess that's the...

[1:03:22] And seared salmon and fall vegetable hash with apple brown butter dressing.

[1:03:27] I like anything that's a hash.

[1:03:29] That has no boogers.

[1:03:30] Boogers do not go with that meal.

[1:03:32] Like root vegetables?

[1:03:33] Yeah, I'm betting you've got some parsnips in there.

[1:03:36] That sounds great.

[1:03:37] You've got some yams.

[1:03:38] That sounds good.

[1:03:39] You've got maybe some arrowroot.

[1:03:43] Don't know what that is.

[1:03:45] But all hashed together.

[1:03:47] What about some sunchoke?

[1:03:50] Sunchoke, actually, no.

[1:03:52] It's more like early summer.

[1:03:54] What about some ramps?

[1:03:56] Ramps are spring.

[1:03:57] It's a springtime thing.

[1:04:00] What about pickles?

[1:04:02] You make yourself.

[1:04:04] You can have them at any time of the year.

[1:04:05] What about good and plenty?

[1:04:07] Good and plenty, that's a candy you can have in movie season.

[1:04:12] Like award season?

[1:04:14] Yeah, when you go see Birth of a Nation.

[1:04:16] What about a spark plug?

[1:04:18] A spark plug, that's something that needs to be replaced in your car.

[1:04:21] Oh, right, right, right, okay.

[1:04:23] So check out this week's menu.

[1:04:26] My human hair.

[1:04:27] When does that grow?

[1:04:28] Every day of the year.

[1:04:30] Get your first three meals free.

[1:04:31] Your first three meals free.

[1:04:33] Three?

[1:04:34] Three free.

[1:04:35] Free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash flop house.

[1:04:39] Wait, so if they go to blueapron.com slash flop house,

[1:04:42] they get their first three meals for no money?

[1:04:45] That's correct, with free shipping.

[1:04:47] And they get delicious food that they can cook easily because it's all measured out,

[1:04:51] no boogers included.

[1:04:53] No.

[1:04:54] That sounds like a great deal.

[1:04:56] Wait, can I ask a genuine question?

[1:04:58] Sure.

[1:04:59] So when you say the meals are for a serving of one or a serving of multiple people?

[1:05:06] You can get them in servings of two or you can get a family serving of four.

[1:05:11] Okay, so if you're getting your three first meals free,

[1:05:14] if you get a serving of two, is that two meals?

[1:05:18] If you're a single gentleman like myself, that's six meals.

[1:05:22] So every meal comes in two servings?

[1:05:25] Yes.

[1:05:26] Okay.

[1:05:27] Or four.

[1:05:28] Dan can get 12 servings out of that for his lonely life.

[1:05:31] Thank you, Elliot.

[1:05:33] Sounds like Rocco's lonely life, that Nickelodeon cartoon.

[1:05:36] Rocco.

[1:05:38] You will love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible home-cooked meals

[1:05:41] with Blue Apron, so don't wait.

[1:05:45] That's, again, blueapron.com slash flop house.

[1:05:50] And there's no one up on the Jumbotron tonight,

[1:05:52] but if you want to get on the Jumbotron, go to maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron.

[1:06:00] It's $200 for a personal message.

[1:06:02] It's $200 for a commercial message.

[1:06:05] If you want to put out your message into the world, that's one way to do it.

[1:06:10] Why don't we have any Jumbotron messages?

[1:06:11] Do people not like us anymore, Dan?

[1:06:13] I just think that we haven't been pushing it that hard.

[1:06:15] Oh.

[1:06:16] Then I think we should push it real good because Jumbotron is a great way to get

[1:06:20] out your message to the world and to that special someone.

[1:06:23] What kind of messages are there?

[1:06:25] You get a lot of birthday messages.

[1:06:26] You get a lot of I love you's.

[1:06:28] I had a wedding proposal once.

[1:06:29] Some small business messages.

[1:06:31] Do you guys listen to Delilah?

[1:06:33] No.

[1:06:34] Is that a song?

[1:06:35] Listeners, take note.

[1:06:38] Go ahead.

[1:06:39] Okay.

[1:06:41] We were waiting for them to go get a pencil and pen.

[1:06:45] She's a radio hostess, but she's been around for, like, 25 years.

[1:06:50] But every time I listen to her, she's, like, the most mesmerizing host,

[1:06:55] and she's always, like, people are calling in and dedicating their love songs

[1:06:58] to her.

[1:06:59] And then I heard an interview with her on NPR for her, like, 25th anniversary,

[1:07:03] and she's still so, like, hopeful in love,

[1:07:06] even though she's been divorced, like, three times

[1:07:08] and has all these very inspiring stories.

[1:07:11] Okay.

[1:07:13] Take note, listeners.

[1:07:14] Delilah.

[1:07:15] Okay.

[1:07:16] Put that up on your message board.

[1:07:19] What's your thing?

[1:07:20] Your Jumbotron.

[1:07:21] Your Jumbotron.

[1:07:22] A message to Delilah, I guess.

[1:07:24] So now what do we do, Dan?

[1:07:26] Yeah, what do we do in this part?

[1:07:27] Before we get to letters.

[1:07:29] There's another thing?

[1:07:31] We have a...

[1:07:32] We watch another movie.

[1:07:34] A movie about letters.

[1:07:35] We have to go through a metal detector.

[1:07:37] What?

[1:07:38] Thanks, Obama.

[1:07:39] What?

[1:07:41] There are some gifts that have been sent to us.

[1:07:44] Oh, that's very nice.

[1:07:45] What?

[1:07:46] I just want to thank people for...

[1:07:49] We have a collection, a seven-movie collection

[1:07:52] of the Fast and the Furious...

[1:07:55] Movies.

[1:07:57] ...from Jake Withheld.

[1:07:58] People.

[1:08:00] The dead body.

[1:08:01] So all seven of the Fast and the Furious movies,

[1:08:04] the Fast and the Furious Septilogy.

[1:08:08] So that's the Fast and the Furious,

[1:08:10] two Fast and two Furious,

[1:08:11] the third one...

[1:08:12] Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift.

[1:08:14] Okay, and then Fast and Furious was number four, right?

[1:08:16] And then Fast Five.

[1:08:18] And then Sixth of the Fast Plane.

[1:08:21] And then, of course...

[1:08:22] And then Fasty Fastest.

[1:08:24] The Sevens.

[1:08:25] The Sevens.

[1:08:26] Yeah.

[1:08:27] Seventh Heaven.

[1:08:28] It's something...

[1:08:29] Fast and Furious.

[1:08:30] It's a series of movies...

[1:08:31] For the Minutes of the Fast and the Furious.

[1:08:33] ...you shouldn't watch with your friends.

[1:08:35] You should watch it with your family.

[1:08:37] Vin Diesel, everybody.

[1:08:39] Because it's a movie about family,

[1:08:40] except for the first one, which is about, what,

[1:08:42] bank robbers that drive...

[1:08:44] I mean, they're always bank robbers.

[1:08:46] It depends on your family, Elliot.

[1:08:48] It's a good point.

[1:08:49] Hashtag, don't judge.

[1:08:51] Unless you're Judge Ralph.

[1:08:52] Later on, my wife...

[1:08:53] I was watching the seventh one with my wife,

[1:08:56] and she said,

[1:08:57] so, is this a movie where the FBI recruits

[1:09:01] a race car driver to stop a criminal?

[1:09:04] And I'm like, that's exactly what this is.

[1:09:06] This is the seventh time.

[1:09:11] This one is from

[1:09:14] Brian, middle name withheld,

[1:09:16] who writes that he...

[1:09:18] Brian Blessed.

[1:09:19] I didn't find your podcast through the AV Club

[1:09:21] or Entertainment Weekly.

[1:09:22] I found it the old-fashioned way

[1:09:23] by Googling podcast plus ding-dong.

[1:09:25] I found it the old-fashioned way,

[1:09:26] written on the side of a bathroom stall.

[1:09:29] We should do that.

[1:09:30] Yeah.

[1:09:31] So this guy designs enamel pins

[1:09:33] for his shop, mutantpins.com,

[1:09:35] and enclosed are a few of his recent pins,

[1:09:37] including a Jean-Claude Van Damme Bloodsport pin.

[1:09:41] Thanks for all the last...

[1:09:42] Let's keep flopping on the flop side.

[1:09:44] There's the Bloodsport one.

[1:09:45] So there's a bunch of great pins

[1:09:49] that we can divvy up after the show.

[1:09:51] Is this the Canon Pictures logo?

[1:09:53] There's the Canon Pictures logo

[1:09:55] and some crazy shit.

[1:09:58] Okay.

[1:10:00] and all

[1:10:01] so i think it's very nice and i think it's right now you can definitely have

[1:10:05] one

[1:10:06] uh... and what i know there's a the letter say we can get a haley one

[1:10:10] that's a good point

[1:10:12] all that was the letter talking

[1:10:14] uh... that noise that was me uh...

[1:10:17] pulling the

[1:10:17] tape off of this uh...

[1:10:19] letter

[1:10:20] which uh... is from steve and nicole last name withheld

[1:10:24] he says my wife and i recently attended a geek trivia night at a local bar we

[1:10:28] walked away with a choice of the most insane price that we've ever encountered

[1:10:31] a pub trivia

[1:10:33] our team won a cash prize in six heavy-duty board games

[1:10:36] or when was the direct result of awesomeness but the other half can only

[1:10:40] be attributed to the confidence we gained

[1:10:42] from our team name the teenage mutant ninja turlets

[1:10:46] nice nice the legacy lives on so because we uh... because we uh...

[1:10:52] contributed the name or elliot in particular contributed the name

[1:10:56] uh... local who knows where it is come from the flop house you know we're all

[1:11:00] equal co-authors a united they should give you a look at it

[1:11:05] they should give you the uh...

[1:11:07] spoils

[1:11:08] so we got this game which i'm assuming stewart probably wants out of all of us

[1:11:13] what a giant board game juror some kind of fantasy board games called

[1:11:16] fire and acts

[1:11:18] i'm getting some of the ages twelve plus that includes me

[1:11:23] uh... so uh...

[1:11:26] thank you very much thanks very much glad we could well it's nice to victory

[1:11:30] thank you steve in the course of the world

[1:11:34] uh... but now

[1:11:36] onto letters the moment you've been waiting for it's letters time

[1:11:42] uh...

[1:11:43] the letter is a fact

[1:11:48] and this first letter

[1:11:50] it was like this hey dan stewart elliott

[1:11:53] my ex-girlfriend took her life this morning

[1:11:56] she was my first girlfriend and we ended up back together for a period of time

[1:12:00] some thirteen years later

[1:12:02] i only bring this depressing news to you because i believe that we should hear

[1:12:06] more about the rocket crocodile action squad

[1:12:09] and how we can support the american society for suicide prevention

[1:12:13] i wish i had the foresight to offer more support to such organizations before

[1:12:16] someone left us

[1:12:18] please get out the message that there are people who want to help

[1:12:21] and who can't help

[1:12:23] love you guys

[1:12:24] blake last name withheld

[1:12:26] i know this is a downer to start the letter section with

[1:12:29] but i would like to start the letters with the downer ones

[1:12:32] but uh...

[1:12:35] you know it's an important message

[1:12:37] and the rocket crocodile action squad was something that started on our

[1:12:40] facebook group page organized by our fans

[1:12:45] uh...

[1:12:46] we did a contest with them

[1:12:48] to uh... select a movie for the flop house and they raised a bunch of money

[1:12:53] for

[1:12:54] the american society for suicide prevention

[1:12:57] and uh...

[1:12:59] i just want to say that you know

[1:13:01] just get out the message that even without the contest you can donate to

[1:13:05] the american society for suicide prevention

[1:13:08] sorry

[1:13:09] and uh... you can uh... also

[1:13:12] uh... by uh... poster

[1:13:15] the rocket crocodile poster at topatico.com

[1:13:18] that we have there that uh... the proceeds from that go to the american

[1:13:22] foundation for suicide prevention

[1:13:26] and uh... yeah i mean this is also obviously an opportunity in addition to

[1:13:30] being able to donate

[1:13:32] uh...

[1:13:33] i guess it's uh... i mean it's it's just important to reach out to those people

[1:13:36] and people that you think might be in trouble just i don't know

[1:13:39] to reach out to people and it's

[1:13:42] it's horrible to hear of someone who is

[1:13:44] beyond help

[1:13:45] for that reason and i think

[1:13:47] a lot of us

[1:13:49] myself included have had times when someone that they

[1:13:53] had a feeling that they should say something to

[1:13:56] weren't sure how to do it and so didn't and

[1:13:58] lost that chance forever to say anything to that person again

[1:14:02] and

[1:14:03] so it's a it's a horrible thing and to anyone who

[1:14:07] if you think

[1:14:08] someone might be feeling that way

[1:14:11] it's worth reaching out the worst that happens is you can

[1:14:13] pretend you were joking and it'll be real awkward for like five ten minutes

[1:14:17] and then things go on

[1:14:19] best case scenario is you

[1:14:22] reach out at the right moment and stop someone

[1:14:25] and if anyone here has listened to this has had

[1:14:28] those thoughts or has had those feelings

[1:14:30] it's

[1:14:32] good for you to be to try to reach out as well and i know we've all we've all

[1:14:35] talked about our experience with this kind of stuff that like

[1:14:38] i firmly firmly believe that

[1:14:41] the reason

[1:14:42] i am here is because

[1:14:44] people reached out to me and i in turn reached out to them

[1:14:48] even though it's hard to

[1:14:50] and

[1:14:51] if anyone here listening to this has had those feelings then the only cure for

[1:14:56] it is

[1:14:57] other human beings as as difficult as it might seem

[1:15:00] so please find the strength that i know you have

[1:15:03] to

[1:15:04] take advantage of that and to reach out to someone

[1:15:07] whether you're worried about someone else or you're worried about yourself

[1:15:13] it's a it's a

[1:15:15] it is a

[1:15:17] it is an action that

[1:15:19] cannot be taken back

[1:15:20] and and every time you hear about it it seems like it didn't make sense at all

[1:15:26] but you only hear about it

[1:15:28] if you're still around

[1:15:32] that's something to hold on to if you're thinking about doing it

[1:15:39] and here's a this is a thing this is going to sound stupid

[1:15:42] but like

[1:15:43] not to keep bringing everybody down this is going to sound stupid but like

[1:15:46] if you're thinking this way for yourself

[1:15:49] pretty much any reason you can think of to hang around

[1:15:53] is a good reason

[1:15:54] there were times when i was younger when it was like

[1:15:58] oh i want to read that thing

[1:16:00] and that was a good enough reason for me to keep going for a while

[1:16:03] so you might be able to find

[1:16:06] just the smallest thing that you're interested in or that you don't want to miss out on

[1:16:10] and

[1:16:11] take advantage of that

[1:16:13] but the most important thing is to

[1:16:15] is other people

[1:16:18] that's the only cure

[1:16:20] uh... and and sorry for your loss Blake

[1:16:25] uh...

[1:16:28] now it's time for a

[1:16:30] uh... neck breaking change in uh... tone

[1:16:34] thanks Dan

[1:16:37] as we move back to our regular group of whoops

[1:16:40] as Dan brings us back to the emotional whiplash that the Flophouse is known for

[1:16:44] this one is brought to you by fartlastnamewithheld

[1:16:47] and he says

[1:16:48] i farted

[1:16:50] i love your show

[1:16:53] this is from Brian lastnamewithheld

[1:16:55] who writes

[1:16:56] hey peaches

[1:16:58] i've noticed that the 1996 Jim Carrey slash Matthew Broderick movie The Cable Guy

[1:17:04] seems to have earned itself a bit of a following these days since it portrayed a

[1:17:08] quote darker Jim Carrey role

[1:17:10] and for being part of Ben Stiller's and Judd Apatow's oeuvre

[1:17:13] as well as featuring the before their well-known likes of Jack Black, Bob

[1:17:17] Unkirk, David Cross, and Owen Wilson in supporting roles

[1:17:21] this prompted me to re-watch it to see if my opinion has changed in favor of it

[1:17:25] it has not

[1:17:26] considering the talent involved, I found it to be a pretty nondescript

[1:17:30] annoying guy makes uptight guys a living hell scenario

[1:17:34] which is one of my least favorite comedic devices save for planes, trains, and

[1:17:37] automobiles

[1:17:38] and maybe what about Bob

[1:17:40] and the Flophouse

[1:17:41] sorry that was uncalled for

[1:17:44] hold on a second

[1:17:46] I'll admit that the Janine Garofalo medieval times bit was funny but I didn't really find

[1:17:50] enough in the film to warrant the cult classic status bestowed upon it

[1:17:53] I feel like this guy meant to post this to his blog

[1:17:57] No, no. He said he accidentally sent it to us. There's a question attached to it

[1:18:01] Am I right?

[1:18:04] but that's just me. Let's say you are a colon the cable guy. But that's just me. Can any of you

[1:18:10] think of a film that wasn't initially received received favorably

[1:18:14] but underwent a positive reassessment that you personally don't understand

[1:18:18] thanks, Brian Lastname withheld

[1:18:20] so he's asking about movies that

[1:18:22] originally were not

[1:18:23] received well then went over a reassessment that you disagree with

[1:18:28] and uh...

[1:18:30] I

[1:18:31] a couple of ones occur to me that like I feel like people younger than us

[1:18:36] have which is uh...

[1:18:38] there's like this weird affection that people like and this is pure nostalgia

[1:18:42] I assume

[1:18:44] because nothing else accounts for it

[1:18:46] but people are like totally into Space Jam

[1:18:51] but that's all ironic

[1:18:53] No, people are into it

[1:18:57] people are seriously into it

[1:18:59] it's all ironic and nostalgic

[1:19:01] can it be like something that was initially very critically acclaimed or

[1:19:05] like

[1:19:06] in your... it's not

[1:19:07] well I feel like the English patient is that we're like it was super critically

[1:19:11] acclaimed and then suddenly everyone in America decided they hated it

[1:19:14] and it's a fine movie it's nothing amazing but it's not a bad movie but everyone

[1:19:18] decided it was garbage

[1:19:19] uh... Space Jam people must like that the same way I like Saved by the Bell

[1:19:23] where it's like I know it's crap but it's something I watched a lot as a kid

[1:19:27] I have so much trouble believing someone's like this is an undiscovered classic

[1:19:31] Space Jam

[1:19:32] right in prove me wrong America

[1:19:34] prove me wrong I think it's all emotional you know if you have a

[1:19:40] I'm trying to... I can think of a lot of examples of

[1:19:44] things that were well received initially and then now are hated on like your

[1:19:48] like Forrest Gump, Shawshank Redemption, American Beauty

[1:19:52] American Beauty perfect example but like this I'm trying to think of...

[1:19:56] it's just emotional the same reason my dad likes the Beatles like it's not good

[1:19:59] but it's what he...

[1:20:00] You know

[1:20:02] Making friends with that one

[1:20:04] I

[1:20:09] Definitely feel like this has happened before where the like something has had gone or gone a critical reassessment

[1:20:14] I'm like no they were right the first time this was terrible. I don't know it's hard for me

[1:20:19] It's so more so much happens so much more often that something good goes under the radar

[1:20:25] Everything from it's a wonderful life to gremlins to you know and then eventually is rediscovered in a way

[1:20:31] I mean trouble thinking of examples where something was hated, and then people are like no

[1:20:36] It's good, and I mean maybe like Goonies, which is a movie. I've never liked, but my generation of kids

[1:20:42] I like like liked it a lot like boonies

[1:20:45] I've never liked it, but when it came out the critics hated Goonies, and I'm with the critics

[1:20:50] I just don't like it very much people can like it. I don't care Goonies

[1:20:55] Um

[1:20:57] There's stuff. This is one of those times where I wish Dan like told us what was gonna be in the letters ahead of

[1:21:02] research and prep

[1:21:04] It's like a prep my meas and plots. I

[1:21:07] Mean, that's a good one. That's a good one to us to our listening public. Yeah, yeah, right in

[1:21:15] Right back to write it in as an iTunes review, baby

[1:21:18] Put five stars, and then give us your explanation

[1:21:22] No, that is good right back in and I and we can revisit this

[1:21:26] maybe in a future episode where we've had time to think about it a little bit more because I do think that there are things

[1:21:31] that I

[1:21:32] I feel this way about have wrongfully been wrongfully been

[1:21:38] reassessed

[1:21:40] But to move on this one is from

[1:21:45] Marcus last name unknown

[1:21:51] Marcus Aurelius or just like some spirit named Marcus my mates, and I saw you in DC last night

[1:21:57] Thanks you for bringing your zany humor to the nation's capital

[1:22:00] I'm glad somebody saw that show since the recorder busted and it was somebody correctly assessed us as being zany I

[1:22:08] Hope the warm reception leads to return trips. Oh and on behalf of the city. I apologize for any adverse traffic. You may have suffered

[1:22:15] like the

[1:22:17] Question line the only really traffic problem we had was when we tried to stop to use the bathroom at the NSA headquarters

[1:22:23] And we had we couldn't fight and we were detained for several hours. We couldn't quite find our way out of the traffic circle

[1:22:30] The question line is pretty long. Otherwise, what it would have asked what movie villain

[1:22:35] Human animal robot creature food group, etc has characteristics that most mirror each of you

[1:22:42] Now some individual shoutouts

[1:22:44] Thank You Elliot for your all-around quirky brilliance, you seem like the Tony Stark of the group

[1:22:49] Thank you Stuart for bringing in every man's sensibility to the group. You're the Jim Belushi

[1:22:54] You're like, I don't know the Thor of the group

[1:22:57] There's on every man. Yeah, he's like Jim Belushi literally a god and thank you Dan for creating this magical enterprise

[1:23:04] That definitely makes you the Nick Fury of floppers. I can see that you guys are awesome Marcus last name unknown

[1:23:09] So what would that make you Hallie?

[1:23:12] Show up every once in a while just for the record, you know the Marvel that you yeah

[1:23:17] Sure. I don't know who any of these people are

[1:23:22] I guess she's the agent Coulson of the group. Okay continue how you were about to say something. Oh, no, go ahead

[1:23:29] Okay, so what what movie villain close it close wait, what movie villain do we most closely resemble?

[1:23:39] Yeah, is that is that right? Yeah, I think so that has characteristics like this so

[1:23:44] You were talking about Goonies Elliot. So yeah, you're like mama for telly

[1:23:51] Yeah, I've heard that yeah, you're a penchant for hats and

[1:23:56] bumbling

[1:23:59] And Dan you're very clearly the blob since you arrived to earth in a meteor and killed a farmer almost instantly

[1:24:08] And

[1:24:18] Stuart I'd say you remind me a lot of Tim Curry and legend because you love to laugh

[1:24:28] Also your red skin and enormous head horns

[1:24:31] Yeah

[1:24:33] As for Hallie, oh, it's got to be Kathy Bates and misery because she loves a good book

[1:24:38] I'm gonna say the car from Christine because you have headlights and then you drink gasoline

[1:24:55] The beginning of a vagina

[1:25:00] I didn't know how to respond

[1:25:04] Headlights is like an absurdist thing. I like an absurdist thing, but

[1:25:11] Hallie being a girl and headlights being pretty common slang for breath. I thought I was just using logger room dog guys

[1:25:18] So topical this episode. No, it'll age poorly. Don't worry

[1:25:23] No, clearly Dan is the Triffids from day the Triffids because he doesn't like to go into the ocean

[1:25:29] Seawater dissolves. I love the ocean. Oh, I'm then you're Ursula from Little Mermaid

[1:25:37] Oh because you steal people's voices and your legs are tentacles and you have two eels that follow you around it's all about my body

[1:25:44] Stuart

[1:25:47] Relevance

[1:25:50] Hashtag pre-woman president hashtag

[1:25:55] You'll pay hashtag. I'm with her hashtag by her. I mean Hallie

[1:25:59] Hashtag touch to all stewards. Check your check your privilege

[1:26:04] Hashtag not all stewards

[1:26:12] This is too hard to answer

[1:26:15] All these questions

[1:26:19] Come on you chose

[1:26:21] You brought this upon yourself. I imagine in your office

[1:26:24] There's a giant glass window that you have been using a marker to like write the answers to your questions down like you're a Sherlock

[1:26:31] Holmes type he has a Sherlock Holmes hat that he wears in his office

[1:26:35] Yeah, when he's I don't wear it because he's hunting around for the jokes. He's talking for deer. I

[1:26:41] Just acquired it for a costume. I mean for me for villain. It's any sort of like nerdy or kind of

[1:26:49] Irritating villain, what's the

[1:26:52] Like you're the guy from

[1:26:57] Incredibles for instance. Yeah, exactly. They go syndromes Incredibles. Yeah, what Jason really obviously chipped from weird science. Oh

[1:27:04] Nice. Yeah, I can see that one. Is there depressed villain? Is that does that happen?

[1:27:10] Probably

[1:27:14] Maybe I'm just like that guy from Civil War. He's like my family all died

[1:27:19] Baron Zemo sure. Yeah, or helmet Zemo rather. Yeah

[1:27:23] Pretty depressed. He wasn't happy. Yeah

[1:27:27] So, I hope that's good enough for you

[1:27:30] Wait, I have my answer. Mm-hmm. Hold on Howie's

[1:27:35] Penny

[1:27:36] Penny's not a villain, but that's who I am. Yeah, you are penny though. But are you penny from?

[1:27:41] From a miss inspector gadget you penny from Peewee's Playhouse from inspector

[1:27:48] No, neither of them are villains

[1:27:50] isn't penny from

[1:27:52] Peewee's Playhouse like a chair or something. Oh, that's cherry. I know there's a claymation girl with pennies fries. She has adventures. Oh, I

[1:28:01] Think I'll be either of them. Yeah, I could see it because I'm like generic girl in your imagination

[1:28:10] You're really old in the mirror up to us tonight Haley, right?

[1:28:14] Hashtag

[1:28:15] First woman president hashtag. I'm with her hashtag

[1:28:20] And not all not her the movie hashtag her the person hashtag

[1:28:25] Get out the vote hashtag rock the vote hashtag

[1:28:29] Rock the boat hashtag sit down you rock on the boat

[1:28:35] Hashtag don't sit down lean in

[1:28:38] All right last letter of the evening

[1:28:42] This is from Nick last name withheld

[1:28:44] writes

[1:28:46] Gents, is there a level of gore grossness sadism, etc in horror movies?

[1:28:51] You can't slash won't tolerate Stewart's already shaking his head

[1:28:55] The older I get the less I'm interested in grim relentless horror, I will never see martyrs for this reason

[1:29:01] I also can't stand what I very subjectively defined as more cynical nasty horror films and for that type

[1:29:07] I probably topped out with the devil's rejects

[1:29:09] I think we can all certainly agree that a Serbian film is a stupid disgusting piece of shit that no one should watch

[1:29:15] I've never even seen it and I know I don't want to see it love to hear your thoughts

[1:29:18] You're the best Nick last name withheld PS come to Philly

[1:29:21] Yeah, you've made it seem real welcoming mm-hmm tell us what something you like sometime Nick

[1:29:26] I definitely have felt like there's a level of gore that I can no longer fully stomach like yeah

[1:29:32] Like martyrs and some of the French horror films are a little too much for me at times

[1:29:38] But a lot of times it depends on the context of the movie

[1:29:40] like if there's a if there's something I'm supposed to be getting out of it beyond just gore then I can stomach it better than

[1:29:47] if it's just like

[1:29:49] Non-stop people getting their skin flayed off and their eyes pulled out, but if it's really silly

[1:29:54] It's really silly then I can totally let's like he mentioned use the word nasty. Yeah, it's

[1:30:00] Like the fact that with the video nasties in England,

[1:30:02] like a bunch of those were like Evil Dead

[1:30:04] and things like that, that were not,

[1:30:06] they were kind of goofier movies.

[1:30:08] But now, if it's really gory and it's silly,

[1:30:13] then I can totally buy into it.

[1:30:15] But if it's super serious, then it's like,

[1:30:17] I'm just seeing people getting hurt, I don't like that.

[1:30:19] Gore isn't the problem, it's nihilism.

[1:30:21] Like the, what's the,

[1:30:24] Stuart, what's the home invasion English movie

[1:30:28] where everyone dies at the end,

[1:30:30] but it's supposed to, like it's well rated, but.

[1:30:33] Is that the Naomi Watts one?

[1:30:36] Oh, not funny games, although that's similar.

[1:30:39] Or like, was it Wolf Creek,

[1:30:41] that Australian movie?

[1:30:42] Straw Dogs.

[1:30:44] No, there's, there's a.

[1:30:47] Coleslaw Dogs?

[1:30:49] A lot of these home invasion movies, I don't like,

[1:30:52] because like, it's just like, the whole point of it is,

[1:30:56] you can, your life can fall apart at any time,

[1:31:00] and you can be slaughtered in your own home,

[1:31:02] and nothing can be done about it,

[1:31:04] and you're dead, and that's it, and.

[1:31:07] And it's kind of like.

[1:31:09] If you end up dead,

[1:31:10] then the movie is certainly not satisfying.

[1:31:11] I mean, like my, I don't mind like,

[1:31:14] gore in a movie, if it's like a silly movie.

[1:31:17] Like, I love something that's gory,

[1:31:19] if it's like, just crazy.

[1:31:21] Well, Dead Alive is a gory movie, but it's super silly.

[1:31:24] But if like, the whole point of the movie is like,

[1:31:26] what's the point of life, then I don't like it.

[1:31:29] I mean, like, I like the kind of horror movie where it's,

[1:31:33] where.

[1:31:34] Where it's uplifting.

[1:31:35] The characters have gone through hell,

[1:31:36] but at the end, someone has survived,

[1:31:38] and they're like, oh, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

[1:31:41] There's some sort of hope.

[1:31:42] Or if it at least ends with a joke, you know?

[1:31:44] Yeah, yeah, like a wink at the old camera.

[1:31:46] Well, yeah, I mean, even.

[1:31:48] Yeah, I know.

[1:31:48] My old scratch shows up,

[1:31:49] just be like, sorry, this time, mortals.

[1:31:52] I mean, you're right there, though,

[1:31:54] because, I mean, Return of the Living Dead

[1:31:55] ends with one of the more nihilistic endings in horror.

[1:31:59] Yeah, sure, they nuke the whole town, but.

[1:32:01] Spoiler alert, the movie's 30 years old.

[1:32:03] But it's still like, it's kind of a joke that they do that,

[1:32:06] so I'm okay with it.

[1:32:07] Well, but that's a semi-satirical movie already.

[1:32:10] Like, it's not a nihilistic ending in terms of like,

[1:32:15] life is a grim pageant, and then the lights go out.

[1:32:18] It's nihilistic in terms of like, can't trust Uncle Sam,

[1:32:22] can't trust the military or the government.

[1:32:24] It's cynical, but it's not nihilistic.

[1:32:27] But yeah, some movies are there just to make you feel bad,

[1:32:31] and I like that sometimes,

[1:32:33] but not when it's like a gore movie.

[1:32:35] Like, a movie like Cries and Whispers,

[1:32:37] you feel bad at the end of it,

[1:32:39] but I like that movie a lot.

[1:32:40] But if it was like a super gory, bloody movie,

[1:32:43] I'd feel like, you're not making me feel bad

[1:32:45] because you're saying something about human loneliness,

[1:32:47] you're just making me feel bad

[1:32:48] because I'm seeing a bunch of people get cut up.

[1:32:50] Right.

[1:32:52] Not even cutting up footloose.

[1:32:53] Mm-hmm.

[1:32:54] Everybody cut footloose.

[1:32:56] The song was, because originally it was about,

[1:32:58] Kevin Bacon was a serial killer who cut people's feet off.

[1:33:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:33:01] And that's why they outlawed dancing.

[1:33:04] Nobody can dance.

[1:33:04] It was like, everyone was dying,

[1:33:06] everyone was losing their feet, and bleeding to death.

[1:33:08] Everyone's like, Cariel was at the end of Saw.

[1:33:11] He had tap shoes, but instead of taps,

[1:33:13] they had blades on him, and he danced all over people

[1:33:15] until they died from stab wounds.

[1:33:16] That was Kevin Bacon?

[1:33:18] Yeah, it was still Kevin Bacon always.

[1:33:19] That's a pretty cool character.

[1:33:20] Yeah.

[1:33:21] And he was called Kevin Bacon

[1:33:22] in the original version of the movie, too.

[1:33:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:33:26] But what's a really gory movie you guys like?

[1:33:29] I know you liked Green Room a lot.

[1:33:30] I like Green Room, but the thing about Green Room

[1:33:32] is that Saulnier used gore so sparsely and so effectively

[1:33:39] that the moments when they showed gore were super horrible,

[1:33:42] but it was relatively quick, and it left an impression,

[1:33:47] and it was used exactly for what it wanted to do,

[1:33:52] and then it was gone.

[1:33:53] It served a purpose.

[1:33:54] That makes sense.

[1:33:57] I mean, when it comes to really gory stuff,

[1:34:00] I just like splatter comedies, pretty much.

[1:34:04] Like Ricky O, Story of Ricky.

[1:34:06] Yeah, or the aforementioned Dead Alive.

[1:34:09] Oh, you guys have been talking

[1:34:10] about Hellraiser 2 for a while.

[1:34:12] It's been resurging with you guys.

[1:34:13] We have such a great movie to show you, Elliot.

[1:34:15] Oh, boy.

[1:34:17] It's a movie that starts with someone being flayed

[1:34:19] and only gets crazier.

[1:34:23] Yeah, it literally feels like they just started

[1:34:25] the movie mid-scene, like they just hit play on a VHS,

[1:34:30] and you're like, what the fuck is going on?

[1:34:34] Hellraiser 2, recommend it,

[1:34:36] which brings us to recommendations.

[1:34:38] Oh, that's why you're the best in the biz.

[1:34:40] I forgot that there was one more segment

[1:34:41] in this out-of-the-basket close-up.

[1:34:42] Oh, that's why we've been talking for a long time,

[1:34:44] because this is a long episode.

[1:34:45] It's a long episode.

[1:34:46] It's longer than the movie of course.

[1:34:48] It's so much longer than the movie.

[1:34:50] Dan, I know you don't like to go back

[1:34:52] and edit these episodes, but this one you might wanna edit.

[1:34:55] So, this is the point in the podcast

[1:34:57] where we recommend movies that you might wanna watch

[1:35:00] instead of the Lazarus Effect.

[1:35:04] And I'll go first.

[1:35:05] I've got a Shocktober recommendation.

[1:35:08] I saw a movie called V, and that's...

[1:35:11] This is V, like V, the Final Battle?

[1:35:13] No.

[1:35:14] V for Vendetta?

[1:35:15] No.

[1:35:16] It's pronounced V, but it's spelled V-I-Y.

[1:35:20] Oh, you're fucking with us.

[1:35:22] And it's a Russian movie from 1967.

[1:35:29] Whoa, what is, am I the recommending movies all of a sudden?

[1:35:31] Yeah.

[1:35:32] An old foreign movie.

[1:35:34] This was the first horror movie,

[1:35:37] the first Soviet horror movie released.

[1:35:39] And I guess it was because under the Soviet regime,

[1:35:43] they couldn't, like there were restrictions

[1:35:47] on the film industry, but they got this one through

[1:35:49] because it was a, quote, folktale.

[1:35:52] And it's based on a Gogol short story.

[1:35:54] Oh, yeah.

[1:35:55] And...

[1:35:57] Gogol 13?

[1:35:58] It's about a, yeah, that's right.

[1:36:00] I love Mr. Wing.

[1:36:04] Like, oh yeah, because I love it.

[1:36:06] You know what, I don't, as if I...

[1:36:08] You're like a secret agent where it was like only

[1:36:10] most of his hairline is right at his eyebrows,

[1:36:14] I know the Russian author, Nikolai Gogol's work

[1:36:18] so much better than I know Gogol 13.

[1:36:21] So it's like, you're like, this one's for you, Elliot.

[1:36:22] I'm like, no, you're taking me farther away

[1:36:24] from what I know.

[1:36:25] So the plot of it, in short, is that a, pardon me,

[1:36:30] a priest is on break.

[1:36:33] Walks into a bar.

[1:36:33] He's on break from seminary and he goes

[1:36:37] and he encounters a witch, an old crone,

[1:36:40] and she, it's clear that she's a witch.

[1:36:45] She rides him off into the sky and bedevils him

[1:36:49] and he beats her to death.

[1:36:50] And once she's dying, she turns back

[1:36:53] into this beautiful young girl.

[1:36:56] And the seminarian runs back home and then he's told

[1:37:00] that he needs to go perform these last rites

[1:37:03] for a beautiful young girl in this town.

[1:37:07] And of course, it turns out to be the same witch.

[1:37:11] And she dies and he has to speak these prayers

[1:37:16] over her three nights in a row.

[1:37:18] And each of the three nights it becomes

[1:37:19] successively more, pardon me,

[1:37:24] becomes successively more crazy what happens.

[1:37:29] And for the first 40 minutes of the movie,

[1:37:33] and the movie's only about 70 minutes long,

[1:37:38] for the first 40 minutes of the movie,

[1:37:39] it's just like a Russian folktale.

[1:37:40] It's very restrained and goofy and silly.

[1:37:43] And then as he's doing these nights

[1:37:46] where he's holding these prayers over the dead body,

[1:37:52] it becomes crazier and crazier.

[1:37:54] And the effects of it are kind of like hausu a little bit.

[1:37:59] They're these very handmade effects.

[1:38:02] And the energy of it is kind of like

[1:38:04] the original Evil Dead.

[1:38:05] It's got that very lo-fi but still intense

[1:38:12] horror effect quality to it.

[1:38:15] And there's actually, even though it's like

[1:38:17] this 1967 goofy horror movie,

[1:38:21] it has a certain just craziness to it

[1:38:24] that's actually disquieting.

[1:38:27] And I really enjoyed it.

[1:38:28] So V, V-I-Y.

[1:38:30] Just watch that shit on Netflix or something?

[1:38:33] It's on DVD.

[1:38:35] I bet it's probably on YouTube

[1:38:36] because it's a Most Film film.

[1:38:38] And Most Film at one point put, I think,

[1:38:40] all of their catalog on YouTube.

[1:38:42] So I don't know if it'll have subtitles,

[1:38:43] but it might be on YouTube.

[1:38:46] Hallie, do you have a recommendation?

[1:38:48] Yeah, I was gonna say, I come here for Shocktober.

[1:38:54] I feel like.

[1:38:56] Yeah?

[1:38:57] I feel like one time when I came here,

[1:38:59] I recommended Witch Board,

[1:39:01] which was like an incredibly scary movie

[1:39:05] from my adolescence.

[1:39:07] And so I'm just gonna recommend,

[1:39:09] we mentioned it before, but I will say Pet Sematary.

[1:39:12] That haunts me still.

[1:39:14] Like the whole, come on, doc, don't make me tell you twice.

[1:39:20] And Zelda, the sister.

[1:39:21] Zelda's fucking terrifying, dude.

[1:39:23] She's so scary.

[1:39:24] Oh my god.

[1:39:25] Is that a cat?

[1:39:26] No, she's the sister.

[1:39:27] No, Zelda's the sister of Spinal Meningitis.

[1:39:29] Yeah, so the point is, it's a really scary movie.

[1:39:34] I'm gonna watch it this Halloween season,

[1:39:36] but I'd encourage people to.

[1:39:39] If you get scared to death, I will blame Pet Sematary,

[1:39:43] because that movie's terrifying.

[1:39:44] It's really scared, right?

[1:39:46] So if you watch it and it's like a ring situation, you die.

[1:39:49] Chains of Robards is great in that movie.

[1:39:51] Yeah, it's great.

[1:39:53] It's so scary.

[1:39:54] So I'm recommending that.

[1:39:59] An old class.

[1:40:00] A fan-favorite, maybe? To be? Once you've watched it? Now that I've suggested it?

[1:40:08] Okay, well, enjoy.

[1:40:10] I'm going to recommend a movie I saw the other day.

[1:40:13] It's one of them Shark Attack movies called The Shallows.

[1:40:17] So there's a movie called The Shallows.

[1:40:20] It is a trim 86 minutes long, which is great.

[1:40:25] Not as short as Lazarus Effect, still perfectly short.

[1:40:28] Exactly. And it stars Blake Lively,

[1:40:32] whose career I was not familiar with before this feature film.

[1:40:37] I'm sorry, I guess you never cared about pants that fit every sister.

[1:40:43] I don't. I don't even know what that's a reference to.

[1:40:46] This is a really traveling pants.

[1:40:48] Oh, with Rory Gilmore in it, right?

[1:40:51] Yeah. Among others.

[1:40:53] Rory Calhoun.

[1:40:55] And Make America Great Again Ferrara is also in it.

[1:40:58] So Blake Lively is dealing with a family tragedy.

[1:41:08] So she decides to go surfing at a remote cove basically by herself

[1:41:15] and in the process runs afoul of an evil local shark.

[1:41:22] It's totally an evil shark.

[1:41:24] She cut off the shark in traffic and the shark put a curse on her.

[1:41:27] Kind of, yeah.

[1:41:28] And so she ends up getting attacked by the shark and has to fight for survival

[1:41:36] and either kill the shark or save herself.

[1:41:40] Seems like those are not necessarily two exclusion choices.

[1:41:47] Maybe if she kills the shark, she'll lose a bit of herself in the process.

[1:41:51] She'll lose her innocence for sure.

[1:41:53] So it's a movie that has a really narrow focus

[1:41:57] and I think it's very successful for that.

[1:41:59] And it's a beautifully shot movie.

[1:42:03] And just the way that the filmmaker uses the natural beauty of the setting

[1:42:13] to also use that same beauty to become kind of terrifying and isolating.

[1:42:19] And it's nice and short and fun and pretty gory.

[1:42:24] And Blake Lively gives a pretty great performance.

[1:42:27] A lively performance.

[1:42:30] I'm going to recommend a movie that I saw today earlier in the day that we're recording this.

[1:42:42] Is that the movie you invited me to and I couldn't go because I had to work and the whole time I moaned about it?

[1:42:47] And unfortunately, this is the only week that it's playing in American theaters.

[1:42:50] So after this is released, you're going to have to watch it on Blu-ray, I guess.

[1:42:54] And that is Shin Godzilla or Godzilla Resurgence,

[1:42:58] which is the first new Toho Godzilla movie in a number of years since Godzilla Final Wars,

[1:43:03] which I've talked about on the podcast before.

[1:43:05] And it is a reboot of the Godzilla series.

[1:43:09] But it does something really cool that I liked a lot, which is this is a Godzilla movie.

[1:43:16] Godzilla is stomping around knocking over buildings and getting missiles blasted.

[1:43:21] How does he look?

[1:43:23] I wasn't crazy about everything about the new Godzilla design, but I liked it.

[1:43:27] It won me over in a lot of ways by the end of it.

[1:43:30] And the first time you see him, he looks not how you can expect and it was jarring.

[1:43:38] But I won't say too much more about that because I don't want to spoil the plot.

[1:43:41] But it is—

[1:43:43] He's in a dress and he's wearing a big hat with flowers on it.

[1:43:48] He's undercover.

[1:43:50] It's Godzilla as Minnie Pearl.

[1:43:52] But the movie takes the tack that I've wanted to see in a movie for a while, which is if Godzilla attacks,

[1:43:59] what's it like from the point of view of the government that is running a country

[1:44:03] that has just been attacked by this thing and no one quite understands how it is.

[1:44:07] So it's starting from its moment zero.

[1:44:09] No one's ever heard of Godzilla before.

[1:44:11] And they rush through what normally is like the first hour of a movie,

[1:44:14] which bothered me about the most recent American Godzilla,

[1:44:17] which is that, I know it's a Godzilla movie, dude.

[1:44:19] Like, don't take forever to get Godzilla up on screen.

[1:44:22] Like, I know what it—

[1:44:24] Don't do this stuff where you're pretending you don't know what it is.

[1:44:27] So they rush through that pretty quickly.

[1:44:29] And the movie, it's a little too long, but for the most part, it keeps up a very fast pace.

[1:44:33] And it is dealing with what is Godzilla like from the point of view of, like, a public safety or public health crisis

[1:44:39] and the bureaucracy in the Japanese government that makes it so hard for them to act quickly to stop this thing.

[1:44:45] And it's what's—

[1:44:48] It's just a really, like, fun movie.

[1:44:51] And by movie, that's a weird thing to say because it's about government bureaucracy dealing with a large problem.

[1:44:56] But I had a lot of fun with it.

[1:44:58] But at the same time, it felt more meaningful than the last number of Godzilla movies

[1:45:02] because if the first movie was about Japan dealing with the after effects of the atomic bomb,

[1:45:07] this is very much about Japan dealing with the after effects of a series of natural and nuclear disasters that they've had

[1:45:15] and finding the government not flexible enough to deal with them quickly.

[1:45:19] And so it's a movie about a monster that's attacking,

[1:45:22] but it's really a movie about the need for an agile government that is not too hidebound by hierarchy

[1:45:29] or by established protocol or by the need to jump through hoops to react to crises quickly.

[1:45:36] But there's a lot of—there's, like, good jokes in it at different points, and it's super tense, and it moves super fast.

[1:45:41] It's a little bit like if they did an episode of The West Wing where Godzilla was attacking,

[1:45:47] and there's almost no speeches, and you're fast-forwarding through it

[1:45:51] because, like, the tempo of the thing is super fast, and they're throwing characters at you left and right,

[1:45:56] but it's like, you don't need to remember all these people.

[1:45:58] They just work in the government. It's okay.

[1:46:00] But I really enjoyed it a lot. I was really glad I got to see it in the theaters.

[1:46:03] Unfortunately, by the time this episode is out, there will be almost no chances left to do that,

[1:46:07] but it's worth seeing on DVD when it comes out.

[1:46:10] Godzilla Resurgence or Shin Godzilla.

[1:46:13] Hey, four great Shocktober recommendations. We all did it.

[1:46:18] Oh, wait. I'm going to say one thing about the Godzilla video, which is that just be ready for—

[1:46:23] be ready for a character who's supposed to be an American

[1:46:26] but is very clearly being played by a Japanese actress

[1:46:29] to have one of the worst American accents you'll hear in a movie,

[1:46:32] and this character's supposed to be an American politician,

[1:46:34] and she is clearly struggling to speak English because she's a Japanese actress.

[1:46:39] You just have to suspend disbelief that this person is American.

[1:46:43] Okay, that's even better.

[1:46:45] That's four Shocktober recommendations.

[1:46:48] If you're in New York and you're looking to do some Shocktober and partying,

[1:46:53] on October 29th, there's going to be a MaxFun organized Shocktober party at my bar Hinterlands.

[1:47:01] It's a Saturday night.

[1:47:03] The Saturday before Halloween, there's going to be costumes

[1:47:06] and at least one MaxFun personality in attendance named Stuart

[1:47:12] in costume as some kind of drunk something.

[1:47:16] Some kind of drunk something.

[1:47:18] That's that Jonathan Demme movie, right?

[1:47:20] That's the sequel to Some Kind of Wonderful.

[1:47:22] Yeah, so just put Hinterlands into your phone machine,

[1:47:30] and it'll Google up the address for you, and you can Uber a car over there.

[1:47:39] Slower.

[1:47:41] Okay, man, what a good episode.

[1:47:44] We really shook the pillars of heaven.

[1:47:47] We shook the pillars of heaven with this one, guys.

[1:47:49] All right.

[1:47:51] Hallie's ready to go home.

[1:47:53] Hallie's already Ubering.

[1:47:55] So thank you for listening.

[1:47:58] We've got one more Shocktober episode coming up,

[1:48:01] and it'll be a doozy for the Flophouse.

[1:48:04] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:48:06] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[1:48:08] I'm still Elliot Kaelin.

[1:48:11] And I'm Hallie Hasland.

[1:48:14] Good night, everyone.

[1:48:19] Keep in line, everybody.

[1:48:22] Watch the light.

[1:48:25] Did Stuart bring a trumpet into the room?

[1:48:27] Is there a baby elephant in here?

[1:48:29] Check out fucking Tom Sawyer over here with his...

[1:48:32] With his bandana hanging too?

[1:48:34] Yep.

[1:48:35] Tom Sawyer famous for blowing his nose.

[1:48:40] Remember when Tom Sawyer tricked all those kids into blowing his nose for him?

[1:48:45] And he told them it would be really fun?

[1:48:49] Then they all got sick.

[1:48:50] Yeah, because he had germs.

[1:48:52] Maximumfun.org

[1:48:54] Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

[1:48:56] Listener supported.

[1:48:58] Mugs, shirts, stickers, patches, tanks, and more

[1:49:03] at MaxFunStore.com

[1:49:05] Hey, you already love the podcasts,

[1:49:07] so why not take this to the next level

[1:49:09] and outfit your home and bod with our merch?

[1:49:12] MaxFunStore.com

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Ep. #215 - The Lazarus Effect

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