Ep. #216 - The Gallows

[0:00] On this episode we watched the gallows the story of vincent gallo male model turned artist and filmmaker turned into ratio receiver business card yep please show receiver for the cleveland browns.

[0:51] Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house i'm dan mccoy hey everybody i'm stewart wellington on the flop house nice energy stew and over here in the three spot it's elliot kaelin now you may think by the laws of context elliott just popped open a brewski incorrect that was stewart uh yeah can you just jump in there dan and edit what i did the sound effect the foley work i was doing

[1:21] just put that around to when i said something yeah yeah so this so the audience doesn't get confused because they're morons and then just keep looping that in like it's a stinger every time i make one of my classic jokes punctuate it punctuate it yeah layer it and i'll lay in a laugh track every time you make one of your classic

[1:37] yeah and please do when stewart enters the audience should go like he's kelly bundy yeah yeah so if

[1:44] you guys ever every time right before he enters there should be a toilet flushing sound effect like he's al bundy

[1:50] you know let's just do married with children why not it's been long enough i call not bud

[1:55] okay oh boy dan's marcy darcy right

[2:01] perfect casting perfect casting yeah uh now i like about it is it's gender blind too

[2:08] sure yeah come a long way baby it's virginia slims

[2:13] just like that in that new show gender blind gender is a cop and blind is a lawyer they don't

[2:18] like each other but they have to work together also gender has all the genders and blind is blind

[2:24] yeah those aren't their names well i can't tell if elliot's pitch is offensive but let me check

[2:28] uh it's cop plus not a cop it works okay the math is there and i want to apologize to the

[2:33] audience who may notice that my voice is not at its best uh i'm gonna blame this on it being

[2:39] the night time i've had a full day of talking elliot the night time

[2:43] is the right time to be with the one you love so why am i here with you guys i do love you guys

[2:49] genuinely that was an honest thing but uh my voice is ruined because my son is now obsessed

[2:55] with the muppets jim hansen's the muppets a great thing to be obsessed with oh jim hansen's the

[3:01] yeah yeah not john woo's the muppets so many doves not william shakespeare's the muppets

[3:08] or uh or pasolini's the muppets you know but uh and he wants me to do the voices all the time

[3:14] and i do let's hear them i would say yeah with my voice all right let's start at the top i think i

[3:19] do c plus level muppet voices but it turns out dr teeth sounds like dr teeth i've been struggling

[3:26] to capture because my son loves him this is the question i get every day from my son daddy

[3:31] daddy daddy he pronounces this he goes yeah because he's irish he always says daddy he goes

[3:40] daddy who are the guys in the band what's the name of the guys in the band and you're like

[3:44] emmet otter well there's that's a different band that's the jug band well what about riverbottom

[3:49] nightmare band no he's only interested in the electric mayhem okay i say dr teeth there's

[3:54] janice there's animal there's zoot there's floyd and eventually lips who plays trumpet he goes

[4:01] i like dr teeth and animal okay that's great daddy which is the orange guy uh janice i guess

[4:12] what about the red guy that's animal what color is dr teeth i honestly cannot remember

[4:20] these are the multicolored yeah you look at them in your your brain can't process

[4:25] look at him and memorize the answer because he keeps asking me he always goes daddy in the great

[4:30] muppet caper sing the bus song because there's a song that dr teeth like mayhem sing the bus

[4:35] it's called night night night life and it has lyrics that are impossible to remember

[4:39] it's like give me my friends and give me my music night life and he wants to sing it all the time

[4:45] it is maybe the least memorable of all the muppet songs it's his favorite now but the that's all to

[4:52] say that my voice is not at its best because i've been trying to do muppet voices did joe raposo do

[4:57] the songs for great muppet caper i know that paul williams did that for the first uh i don't know

[5:03] i'll just i'll just bam bam it's time to look this up because it's all about the gallows so

[5:09] what do we do on this podcast usually so elliot normally what we do is we

[5:13] go on to our streaming video device we pick up our clicker uh that's what kids use nowadays

[5:21] to use their stream and video and uh we pick a movie usually one that's either a critical

[5:27] or financially unsuccessful movie now today it was just a critically unsuccessful movie and then

[5:31] what do we talk about uh wait how much money did this movie make elliot according to wikipedia this

[5:37] movie had a 100 000 budget and made 43 million dollars holy fucking shit that's a lot of money

[5:43] what are we doing with our time we should be making that shitty movie how much do they spend

[5:48] on that it says a hundred thousand dollars i opened a bar that cost way more than that and

[5:53] why didn't i do this you have you made 43 million dollars i actually made 42 million dollars so i

[5:59] guess i'm yeah so close yeah but with the profit margin factored in you're doing way worse yeah

[6:06] than the makers of the gallows uh-huh uh okay well uh i guess i am less successful than we

[6:12] got so normally we watch a shitty movie let's let's stop the goofs enough enough running bits

[6:16] here guys yeah let's get down to brass knacks october uh what's what's october dan it's uh

[6:23] october but more shocking okay so it's the spookiest month it's the spookiest now why

[6:27] october why is that the spooky month uh because it's almost the election

[6:34] it looks scarier than this campaign am i right i sounded like kate mckinnon there anyway so uh

[6:40] i think you're being a little charitable to yourself look you should give my

[6:42] muppet impressions they're also way off model uh it's me kermit the frog oh wow

[6:52] so dan here's the thing about october why does the whole month have to be spooky when the last day

[6:59] is the spooky day it's not fair to the rest of my holiday creep that it gets dragged down

[7:05] holiday creep is the name of my next movie holiday creep is the guy

[7:09] who hangs all those doll heads around his house and is like it's halloween

[7:14] and it's got that song holiday creep

[7:20] i thought you were gonna go with the i'm a holiday creep i'm a holiday creep and i'm stoned

[7:26] like this holiday creep yeah honey creeping on the down low that's the one

[7:33] all right tlc oh okay thank you um so yeah tlc this is somebody yeah it's tlc tlc the learning

[7:40] channel this is the time of the year where we watch scary movies as opposed to the other times

[7:45] of year when we also watch scary movies or nicholas cage much less than you we used to

[7:51] now that we have a whole month devoted to it and we had a special three peach october this month

[7:56] now so recap for us i hope that's enough for you vultures wow you vultures your insatiable thirst

[8:03] for content dan what were the last two movies we watched we watched what victor frankenstein

[8:07] and what was the middle one and we watched the lazarus effect so i was really hoping uh pronunciation

[8:14] sounds right uh somebody on our facebook group whose name i have forgotten uh pointed out

[8:21] that we're approved on a superstar yeah that our past the past two movies we watched uh both deal

[8:27] with the negative side effects of a uh university shutting down a science project yeah so i was

[8:33] hoping we were going to go three for three on this one no but not really it does take place

[8:37] in the school though this is a movie about a school making a poor choice in its drama department yeah

[8:43] yeah so i guess very similar so let's talk about the plot briefly because it's a very brief plot

[8:46] it's a short movie it's a tight actually it's a very flabby 82 minutes yeah but here we go we're

[8:54] at a school okay we open scary already smash cut back in school america 21st century actually it's

[9:01] not true 1993 we open it's 1993 jurassic park has just come out now taking the world by storm

[9:07] people are storm of dinosaurs that they called it the dino storm and it was prophesied to come

[9:12] return in 60 years the year is 2053 okay and a hurricane of raptors is sweeping down on new

[9:19] york city there's no one who could save them no one except the commando arnold schwarzenegger oh

[9:26] wow okay not himself but his character from commando john matrix and he's out of retirement

[9:33] now in this reality john matrix also became governor of california and it was weird because

[9:38] he was the first covert black ops cia type mercenary yeah to become a governor of a major

[9:44] state in rhode island and i would think that his uh past association with his buddy bennett who had

[9:49] a penchant for wearing uh sleeveless chain mail undershirts yeah uh no here's the thing the same

[9:56] quip ability that served him so well in commando

[10:00] Classic don't wake my friend. He's dead tired and it let off some steam

[10:04] It really served him well on the campaign, especially in the debates. Now. I got a question. Mm-hmm in commando. What's he going commando?

[10:11] I wanted to know this we can only assume because there's no underwear yet made to contain a man of Arnold's later size

[10:18] Yeah, he's an enormous bear of a man because he's half bear

[10:22] His enormous what air penis of a man

[10:25] Well, it's it's defended by some guard hairs guard hairs, yeah bears have these guard hairs around the base of their

[10:33] genitalia

[10:34] Yeah, why I don't have sex with bears. Yes

[10:36] So they're grabbing wieners the guard airs will poke your hand like a porcupine

[10:41] Now our bears is a they is that big a problem for bears that someone's gonna try to steal. Oh my god

[10:47] It was until thanks to Charles Darwin

[10:50] I

[10:53] Evolved a little bit

[10:57] He's down there stiffening their hair using fucking pig fat or something

[11:01] I don't believe he's like an evolutionary detective and a bear walked into his office

[11:07] Mr. John

[11:12] That bears legs went all the way to the salmon stream and the bear it was like my husband's penis has been stolen

[11:19] This is a problem for all bears

[11:21] Well, I can see what I could do. Mrs. Berenstain

[11:26] Yeah, this is very seen locked in where your sexiest hair cap and blue house dress

[11:33] That's another thing my son's really into these days is a Berenstain bears. Mm-hmm. Sure

[11:37] No girls allowed as a personal favorite. That is a good one. I like the spooky old tree

[11:42] Oh, I'm dead not familiar with it, but I like the sound like the earnest scared stupid of Berenstain bears books

[11:48] Yeah, yeah, it is that exactly

[11:54] So the year is 1993 we're watching found footage because bracelets are sweeping the nation

[11:59] Would you just let me say one damn thing about what happens?

[12:05] You stupid okay

[12:08] I

[12:09] Entered office spent that summer playing soccer with my buddy Misha who had a really cool rat tail

[12:14] Okay, the year was 1993 Misha's rat tail was sweeping the nation. Everyone was catching soccer with Stewart's friend fever

[12:21] There was no known cure thousands died. So the years 1993 we know that because it's in the corner of this camcorder screen

[12:28] We're looking through. Yeah, it's a high school play something set in colonial times or perhaps, you know, the the revolutionary era

[12:36] Yeah, and it's supposed to end with someone

[12:39] Either being hung at the gap hang to the gallows or escaping

[12:42] We don't know because something goes wrong and the student is actually hanged during the play

[12:47] So you guys know drama a little bit better than me, right?

[12:53] So the play the gallows

[12:56] What's the deal there? Is that a popular play?

[12:59] As far as I know that is not a play that exists. It appears to be a not real play

[13:03] Although it could be wrong. It looks like it's kind of supposed to be like a Scarlet Crucible

[13:08] Colonial era play colonial Williamsburg. Yeah, it's just like that part of Williamsburg in Brooklyn

[13:14] That's all cologne and I guess what the climax of the play through it the climax

[13:18] They're like due to the spell that was cast on this part of Brooklyn only things from the colonial era could exist

[13:24] Your bicycle is now a horse

[13:27] It's like that old Wonder Man cut Wonder Wonder Man Wonder Woman comic where Wonder Man's a different character. Yeah

[13:32] He lived in Hollywood. He was a huge star

[13:35] The Wonder Woman comic where she goes back in time with her boyfriend and he tries to shoot a dinosaur and his gun doesn't work

[13:40] He's like, oh, that's right. We're millions of years before the gun was invented

[13:48] He still had the gun, but it just didn't work because gun the end. Yeah. No, I

[13:53] Terminator right, dude. You can't bring that back in time

[13:58] Yeah, they were all naked too, but anyway, so it's one of these plays that's in colonial time probably it's a it's a

[14:05] Metaphor for something that was going on in the politics when the play was written McCarthy is um the depression who knows anyway

[14:13] This kid is killed. Oh, it's a tragedy 20 years later. Same height

[14:18] Not to belittle it but it was fictional. I don't have to pretend. I'm moved by it. Yeah

[14:23] 20 years late, especially because that kid my favorite thing is in this open in this opening

[14:29] Clearly some parents are supposed to be filming

[14:31] We see the action because your parents are filming the thing and one of the parents whispers to the other parent

[14:36] Great job on the gallows and I swear somebody was talking to the director

[14:41] You know, they weren't because they did not do a great job. Yeah

[14:46] 20 years later. The school is gonna put on the same play

[14:48] The school has never really escaped the shadow of that event

[14:51] In fact, they have a exhibit of an exhibit case in the hallway about the play and the dead

[14:57] Yeah, I don't understand why any like it's a trophy like it's a trophy set up

[15:01] And I don't understand why any school after a child died in in the doing of this play

[15:07] We decided to put on a revival of self same play 20 years later unless it was some sort of

[15:13] Radical like therapy that some psychologists had prescribed to the school

[15:22] There's some there's some like they had brought in a Viennese institutional therapists like ah clearly if they must explores a trauma and

[15:30] Conquers a trauma put on the play kill another student

[15:37] It will be funny this time because what happens first is tragedy repeats itself as comedy

[15:43] So I know the listeners at home are probably thinking why am I listening to this? Yeah, they're thinking

[15:49] Oh great. Another kid's gonna die and then I'll flash forward 20 years like Elliot said while we were watching

[15:53] Yeah, that doesn't happen. Thanks for stealing my bits to her

[15:56] I was saying I thought we great is that they put on the play another kid dies skip ahead to the year

[16:01] 2033 to 2033. Yep, and

[16:04] Suddenly, uh-oh and Ted have united the cosmos

[16:08] Amazing wild stallions has brought peace to the galaxy

[16:12] Thing is that destiny cannot be averted

[16:15] Turning on the radio. Yeah, they have to put the play on again. Another kid dies

[16:20] Flash-forward even further now some tragedy is struck

[16:24] Well at this point and yeah

[16:26] The civilization has been destroyed and the only link they have left is this right that occurs every 20 years

[16:32] When one of the young people of the tribe is picked and killed

[16:36] Reenacting the scene it's become a part of the common myth of this new barbaric era

[16:41] Yeah, it's it's to appease the great fiery God in the sky who plunged hot death upon them

[16:47] Mm-hmm, and yet they need him, but he disappears every night

[16:51] Mm-hmm, and then for much longer in the winter and then but in the summer

[16:56] He's there around too much and everyone's like, ah, I wish the winner was here. It's so hot

[17:00] And then when winter comes up, they're like, oh, it's a worse what summer happening. It's too cold

[17:04] Yeah, and that God's name is Sonny D

[17:07] During the apocalypse Chuck D merged with the Sun

[17:12] On the spiritual level. Yes

[17:15] Now except he sounds like tone Loke because I have a better idea of what tone Loke's voice sounds like in my head than Chuck D

[17:21] Sure. I

[17:22] Now I don't know. He's always singing tone Loke song from Ferngully. Yep

[17:30] The food chain or whatever it's called, okay, I like how

[17:33] The food chain or whatever it's called, okay, I like how I'm gonna eat somebody something like that. I'm gonna eat some

[17:41] He's not it's not an Italian stereotype. I'm gonna eat somebody

[17:46] Don't look popular Italian rapster

[17:50] Tony Loke. Yeah, it's a it's a it's Anthony to his family

[17:57] So it's 20 years later they're putting on the play it's found footage now. Yeah, that's the thing

[18:03] Let me say

[18:05] We made it I just wanted to make sure that we had made it clear that this is a found footage movie the best

[18:10] Kind of horror movie. It's a found footage movie, which is a cheap way to make a movie and

[18:15] Because you don't need good cameras

[18:16] You don't need to even have your actors on screen for a lot of it anytime

[18:20] It needs to be scary you just turn off the lights and shake the camera around so you can't see anything

[18:24] If you need to cut between scenes you just put up some digitizing effects like the camera broke for a little bit and then it comes

[18:30] Back. Yeah

[18:32] It's a movie made in the editing room. Yes

[18:35] Unlike most movies. Mm-hmm, which are made in a deli

[18:39] Yeah made on a runway at an air busy Airport at it. Sure. So you're derailing your nowadays Elliot with the way

[18:46] Technology is advancing. You know, I was watching Black Mirror the

[18:50] He's all about the Black Mirror these days

[18:54] So

[18:55] They're gonna put on the same plate the lead actor in the play used to be on the football team

[18:59] He doesn't want to be football player anymore. Now. He's the lead actor in the play

[19:02] He has a crush on the lead actress in the play who's a drama geek, but she's actually just a beautiful girl

[19:07] Mm-hmm his old friend who is still on the football team. He's the one filming everything the one

[19:12] He's the TJ Miller of the group who's always filming everything and is obnoxious. Yeah, he's a voracious cinephile

[19:18] Yeah, and he is he is dating a cheerleader and they decide they're mad that their friend is doing this stupid play

[19:25] They hate the play they hate that drama club is required class. So they have to be on the stage crew. There's a whole

[19:32] Unnecessary red herring subplot where he's bullying the stage manager

[19:35] Who's a nerdy kid and then the stage manager pulls a prank on him and he wants to get revenge

[19:40] So it's not even a good prank and what this no

[19:43] It just that's what made me so mad as they just trick him to like fall over

[19:46] Yeah, they don't trick him to have his like wiener fall out

[19:56] And he's like

[19:59] He's leaning next to him

[20:00] and he keeps kicking her out of the dirt.

[20:02] That'd be a great prank.

[20:04] Tell me you wouldn't think that's a great prank.

[20:06] Yeah, it's like when Vivian's head comes off

[20:09] in Young Ones and he's kicking it by accident.

[20:12] That's such a great prank to have a body part fall off

[20:17] and then he just can't pick it up

[20:19] because he's so clumsy now.

[20:20] Without his penis, he's not balanced properly.

[20:24] Well, it just goes to show you that football players

[20:26] are all brawn and no brains, you know?

[20:29] Dan knows what I'm talking about.

[20:30] Now, here's the thing about this character

[20:31] and it's something I've said before

[20:33] in my controversial statement that objectively,

[20:37] Groucho Marx and the Marx Brothers

[20:38] are not that different from any Adam Sandler character

[20:41] in that they're people who go and bother other people

[20:43] for no reason whatsoever.

[20:45] This guy is showing us.

[20:47] I mean, you're boiling it down

[20:49] to the most basic essence of,

[20:52] like you might as well be like.

[20:53] It's called first principles, Dan.

[20:55] Might as well be like, I don't know,

[20:57] Humphrey Bogart and Adam Sandler

[20:59] are basically the same person

[21:00] because they're like captured on celluloid.

[21:03] That is a straw man argument, Dan.

[21:05] Daniel, Daniel.

[21:06] Yeah, it's a strong man argument.

[21:08] No, that's, ooh.

[21:10] It's a strawed man argument.

[21:13] Speaking of straw, rope is made out of it.

[21:14] There's a lot of ropes in this movie.

[21:15] But what this movie shows us is that your Ferris Buellers,

[21:18] your Stileses from Teen Wolf,

[21:21] these characters are your Van Wilders.

[21:24] If you were encountering one of these guys

[21:26] who plays by his own rules

[21:28] and pretends he's super cool,

[21:30] he'd be a total dick.

[21:31] You would hate him.

[21:32] Stiles is objectively a dick.

[21:35] The character that's always filming everything

[21:36] is like what would happen

[21:38] if a mad scientist took a VHS copy

[21:42] of a bunch of episodes of the Jamie Canady experiment

[21:45] and he did-

[21:46] Jamie Canady?

[21:47] The one where he's a can?

[21:48] Nice.

[21:49] Jamie Canady.

[21:50] Finally.

[21:51] Oh no, I've become the Dan.

[21:54] Now you are the, who's the Dan now, dog?

[21:58] I don't know.

[21:59] I was going somewhere with a joke

[22:00] where a mad scientist made a living boy

[22:02] out of Jamie Canady experiments VHS tapes.

[22:06] Because that's basically the level of likeability

[22:08] this has.

[22:08] That's what the Jamie Canady experiment was?

[22:09] The experiment was to make a living, Jamie Canady?

[22:12] I didn't watch that shit, maybe.

[22:14] And threw a little Malibu's Most Wanted in there.

[22:17] Yeah, why not?

[22:18] He's a real jackass,

[22:19] but we're supposed to want him to die

[22:21] because it's a horror movie.

[22:22] He's one of these obnoxious teens we want to get killed.

[22:25] He says, hey, you don't be a hilarious prank.

[22:28] Let's get our revenge.

[22:29] And I'm going to rope in my friend

[22:31] who's the star of the show.

[22:32] He has a crush on this girl I don't like.

[22:34] He's not a good actor.

[22:35] So I'm going to tell him, hey,

[22:37] if you go into that play,

[22:38] you're going to embarrass yourself.

[22:39] And that girl Pfeiffer that you've got a crush on

[22:41] is going to hate you.

[22:42] So, and nobody wants to be in this play.

[22:45] I walked in on your dad telling you not to be in the play

[22:48] to go back to the football team.

[22:49] Let's go to the school in the middle of the night.

[22:51] I found a door that never is,

[22:53] the lock doesn't work.

[22:55] Let's break in the middle of the night and wreck the set.

[22:58] And that way they can never perform the play.

[23:01] Because obviously this guy's never seen Our Town,

[23:04] a play with no set.

[23:05] That's brilliant.

[23:07] Thank you.

[23:08] He's never seen Dogville, a movie without a set.

[23:12] Yeah.

[23:13] But then, go on.

[23:14] And then you.

[23:15] But he just meant one movie and broke him again.

[23:18] So his dad, you mentioned his dad, his dad, Rick Hauser.

[23:22] Yeah.

[23:23] This kid's name is Reese Hauser, which is not a name.

[23:28] Cole Hauser, that's a name.

[23:29] That's a name.

[23:30] Yeah, it's a good red-blooded American movie star name.

[23:33] Yeah.

[23:34] So his dad doesn't want him to be in this play.

[23:36] His dad also looks like he's like five years older than him.

[23:39] Yeah, well, all the kids in this movie

[23:41] look a little too old to be high school kids.

[23:43] That's just the way of actors in movies too.

[23:45] Yeah, I guess you're right.

[23:46] Well, that's something to think about.

[23:47] So, for some reason.

[23:51] Put that in a thought bank.

[23:52] For some reason, he's convinced to do.

[23:54] It's the thinnest level of reasoning.

[23:56] Yeah, well, this is one of the many things.

[23:58] He's not the brightest bulb in the haunted school.

[24:00] This is one of the many things that don't make sense.

[24:03] Manny, the kid from Modern Family.

[24:04] In this movie, which is that,

[24:08] I don't understand how the guy's convinced to do this.

[24:11] Like, he's in love with this girl

[24:12] who is his co-star in the play.

[24:14] That just made me.

[24:15] So.

[24:16] But he's convinced to go destroy the set

[24:20] as if that is going to somehow.

[24:22] Because he's worried that if he is in the play and is bad,

[24:26] she's not gonna like him.

[24:27] But if they destroy the set and no one knows who did it,

[24:30] he can be like, hey, baby, yeah, this is terrible.

[24:31] I wanna be in the play with you.

[24:32] Hey, maybe, you know what?

[24:33] Let me console you with my hand on your arm.

[24:35] Now we're kissing.

[24:36] Now I'm inside you.

[24:37] That's his plan.

[24:39] That is a stupider plan than Cyrano de Bergerac.

[24:43] Wow, that was.

[24:44] Is that how you judge all plans?

[24:46] Is that your yardstick, that Cyrano?

[24:49] Let me rate this on the Cyrano scale.

[24:51] I give it three noses.

[24:54] Very improbable.

[24:55] So wait a minute.

[24:56] Manny in Modern Family, that's short for Manuel, maybe?

[25:01] Possibly, yeah.

[25:02] So. Or Batman.

[25:03] Would that mean Manny faces in He-Man is.

[25:06] Is Manuel.

[25:07] Manuel Eduardo Faces, yeah.

[25:10] Okay, thank you for clearing that up, Elliot.

[25:12] Yeah, oh no, that's true, yeah.

[25:13] And Man at Arms was Manuel Atonio.

[25:16] Or Emmanuel.

[25:18] Yeah, he was Emmanuel In Space At Arms.

[25:21] I think it's Emmanuel In Attorney, actually.

[25:24] That's the seventh movie.

[25:25] Oh yeah?

[25:26] It's where He-Man, don't worry about it.

[25:28] Don't, do not start giving people on.

[25:31] Where's Black Emanuel figure into this?

[25:33] What's that?

[25:34] I don't know.

[25:34] Don't start giving.

[25:35] Part of the She-Ra universe, maybe?

[25:37] Don't start giving deviant art people new ideas

[25:39] for crossover mashup cartoon porn they can do.

[25:42] So, they break into the school.

[25:45] They start wrecking up the set

[25:46] in the dumbest way possible.

[25:47] They're literally just knocking stuff over.

[25:49] They're like, take this,

[25:50] and they knock over a tree in a pot,

[25:52] and it's like, okay, that's the easiest thing

[25:54] in the world to pick up and clean.

[25:56] But they run into the girl, Pfeiffer.

[25:58] Yeah, it's not like the sets are the,

[26:01] like they're breaking something that's irreplaceable.

[26:03] Like they're just, one guy's just kicking over

[26:06] little bushes.

[26:07] Yeah.

[26:07] I mean, it's barely a set in the first place.

[26:09] The gallows is the prime set piece.

[26:12] Well, they start dismantling that,

[26:13] but they don't get too far, because.

[26:16] They pull the rope down.

[26:16] They're like, fuck you, rope.

[26:18] Yeah.

[26:19] Little did they know.

[26:20] Not one of my favorite Alfred Hitchcock films.

[26:24] Sure, it's underrated.

[26:26] Yeah, it's underrated,

[26:27] but it's not as good as the other ones.

[26:30] That goes without saying.

[26:31] Experimenting with the form.

[26:33] I mean, Jimmy Stewart is great,

[26:34] but he seems kind of miscast in it.

[26:37] Its use of color is very subtle,

[26:40] and the effects they used for the backdrop

[26:42] for the sky through the window are impressive

[26:44] when you know their effects,

[26:46] but come on, Hitch.

[26:48] Yeah.

[26:49] Just because Robin Wood realized he was gay

[26:51] while watching this movie as a child

[26:54] doesn't mean I'm gonna get anything out of it.

[26:56] Just because it's an interesting re-imagination

[26:59] of the Leopold and Loeb case

[27:00] doesn't mean that we should think of it

[27:02] as a top-tier Hitchcock.

[27:04] Your reading of Nietzschean philosophy

[27:06] is a little shallow, Hitch.

[27:08] So take your fucking shine box.

[27:12] Rope, a movie that I like very much.

[27:16] Yeah, guys, I don't know if you can tell,

[27:17] but my well of rope references is pretty shallow.

[27:22] That's fine, that's okay.

[27:23] You could say something about how it's made

[27:24] to look like it's all one take.

[27:26] It was the found footage of its day.

[27:28] Even though there are a few visible cuts in it.

[27:30] We're still talking about the movie and not the item.

[27:33] That was the name of that famous

[27:35] pool player, Visible Cuts.

[27:39] Just had a bunch of paper cuts all over it.

[27:41] It made it that much more difficult to hold a pool cue

[27:43] because his hands were all cut up.

[27:45] Dick Tracy was always hassling him.

[27:49] You look like a villain, I'm gonna arrest you.

[27:52] I'm just a handicapped man.

[27:54] That'd be such a funny sketch,

[27:56] if Dick Tracy is just arresting handicapped people.

[28:00] No legs, huh?

[28:01] Come in here.

[28:02] No, I'm paralyzed, I'm not a criminal.

[28:04] All you mutants and freaks, I'm gonna lock you up.

[28:07] No, we're just handicapped.

[28:09] Why are you so able as Dick Tracy?

[28:16] Look at this.

[28:19] I was about to have him go after someone

[28:20] he started calling blackface, who's just a black guy.

[28:25] Now, Dick Tracy is meant to be the racist there.

[28:27] Am I being racist by positing that scenario?

[28:31] Possibly.

[28:32] Yeah.

[28:34] Well, I'm gonna take you in, Mr. Vagina.

[28:36] I'm just a woman.

[28:38] I'm not a man with some kind of vaginal thing,

[28:41] I'm a woman.

[28:42] Sure, tell it to the judge.

[28:44] Sure, no penis?

[28:45] Yeah.

[28:48] We're sending me no penis.

[28:52] That's what happened when the guy's penis fell off.

[28:55] Dick Tracy villain.

[28:56] Yeah, it fell off right through a wormhole.

[29:00] He and John Rhys-Davies did some sliding.

[29:03] And when it hits him on the head like the gods must be crazy

[29:06] in another dimension that didn't have penises.

[29:10] It all fits together.

[29:12] What?

[29:14] When I was a kid, I remember watching Gods Must Be Crazy

[29:17] and wondering what the deal was going on.

[29:20] What's going on?

[29:21] So many times, and it's like,

[29:24] that's one of those movies where there was a cultural moment

[29:26] where the gods must be crazy was not only acceptable,

[29:29] but people loved it.

[29:30] And even as a kid, I was like, what the hell am I watching?

[29:35] You know, it was whimsical.

[29:36] I think that was whimsical.

[29:37] Sure, yeah.

[29:39] Whimsical enough to spawn a sequel?

[29:41] Did two Coke bottles fall out of the sky?

[29:44] I think the gods stopped being crazy, Stuart.

[29:46] Of course they did.

[29:47] Let's be positive, the gods must be crazy.

[29:50] Not that they may be crazy,

[29:51] they must be crazy for such a thing to happen.

[29:55] What is interesting is that it's not like

[29:56] they were like, the Hollywood gods,

[29:58] they were like, the Hollywood gods.

[30:00] cost. Who would allow such a thing? The

[30:07] gods must be mad. Krom is testing us.

[30:12] Some Shoggoth monster from beyond space is playing games with time and

[30:18] metaphysics, and we are but ants beneath his feet. Coke bottles falling from the sky.

[30:26] Anyway, so they sneak in. I can't even remember the events of the movie in order.

[30:34] They start being picked off one by one by a ghost. They bump into Pfeiffer, the star of the play,

[30:40] who had seen Reese Howser's car parked in the parking lot, and she's like,

[30:44] what are you doing? Somebody's going to catch you. Reese Howser's like, oh,

[30:48] we're just pranking you, because he doesn't want her to find out that they were just there to bust

[30:52] up the set. Yeah, they go to the door that's always unlocked, but it's locked. They're locked

[30:55] in. Yeah, and it goes to the power. That was the moment when Dan said, OK, it's impossible to get

[31:00] locked into a school. It was so mad about this not being how a school, the architecture of a

[31:06] school building where you don't get locked inside. There's a ghost. And there's a ghost. I have

[31:13] attended more than one school lock in, I got to say. And as Stewart said, we're actually locked

[31:18] in. That would be a horrible fire hazard. But they didn't chain the doors shut.

[31:27] But I love that you're like, those doors are designed to be open from the inside.

[31:32] Ghost. Done. Trumped. Checkmate. Ghost. I'm more willing to accept the scariness of a ghost

[31:39] if the rest of the world plays by the rules. I don't know. The ghost doesn't play by the rules,

[31:45] and it goes by its own set of rules. The ghost is like, I'm not here to make friends. I'm here

[31:50] to win. Yeah. Do you need the ghost to be like, oh, well, actually, I can only keep one set of

[31:55] doors shut at a time. If they were to split up and each try a different door, I would be easily

[32:00] foiled. Look, I know that I'm a spirit from beyond another plane of existence who can materialize,

[32:07] teleport, telekinesis. I can make ropes appear in the middle of nowhere. I have the strength

[32:12] of a thousand men and that I can just tear people apart limb from limb if I want. But the engineers

[32:18] who designed these doors have outwitted me yet again. I am powerless before this anti-locking

[32:25] from the inside method. I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I'm sorry, everybody. Ghost, could you help

[32:32] me open up this prescription bottle of pills? Once again, let me tell you what I can do. I can

[32:38] materialize as a loved one. You never even told anyone. Oh, wow. OK, I can read your thoughts. I

[32:44] can enter your dreams. I can show up as a fucking Slimer and eat all your dogs. I can eat even

[32:49] though I'm non-corporeal. I can just gobble down hot dogs like nobody's business. Alas, the child

[32:55] proofing on that medicine bottle is beyond the abilities of one such as I who has passed

[33:01] past the veil and is now a different order of being. Yeah. So, Dan, how do you how do you feel

[33:07] now? Do you feel like you've been shamed? Do you feel like you've been served? Yeah, I yeah, I got

[33:12] served. You guys seem to you stepped up to the streets with me with a ghost. Yeah. And now I've

[33:20] been an electric boogaloo. These kids, they find a TV in a back room that is playing a local news

[33:25] story about the death of Charlie, the actor who played who was killed in the original play. It

[33:31] turns out he was going to play the hangman. He was so excited he made his own costume.

[33:35] But the day of the play, the lead actor called in sick. And so he had to take that part and was

[33:41] accidentally killed. And ever since then, it turns out, blah, blah, blah. His ghost is haunting the

[33:45] place. Yep. He's killing them all. He's giving rope burns to their necks. But the lead actor

[33:51] that he replaced is the dad of Reese. What is August Houser, the dad of Reese Houser? And so

[33:58] he wants to get revenge that way. How did he not know about this beforehand? That scene that was

[34:05] involved in this? Yeah. Yeah. Both. Maybe when he decided to be in this cursed play or when he

[34:10] looked at the fucking photo that's on display or maybe it's been on display for 20 years that has

[34:16] his dad in the picture in the costume. Yeah. And well, the one thing that I what about all those

[34:22] late nights where his dad would stay up drinking and he'd be like, Dad, what's it like to inadvertently

[34:28] kill a man? I know you didn't do it, but it was because you weren't there. You're right in your

[34:34] place. You final destination to him or you the you renewed him. He died in your place. Ah, well,

[34:41] go and join the football team. Rah, rah. I don't know. Yeah. Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny. Rah, rah, rah.

[34:48] They're picked off one by one. First annoying guy. Then annoying guy's girlfriend. Yeah. One

[34:53] really. I think there's one good scene. That's a great scene, which is when the girl, the cheerleader

[34:57] girlfriend is killed. It's shot better than anything else in the movie. It's staged better

[35:01] than anything else in the movie. It's genuinely more tense and scarier than anything else in the

[35:05] movie. If you can go if you Google the gallows cheerleader death scene, if that's you can probably

[35:11] find that. Yeah. Just watch that. It's the sort of thing where like it's shocking. They didn't

[35:15] cut this and use this as the opening of the movie and then make a better movie after it.

[35:20] Yeah. I mean, let's just edit it. Yeah. They just edited it differently. It would have been

[35:24] a better thing. Yeah. It's not amazing. It just stands out in contrast. Yeah. Out of context,

[35:30] it might not hit the same way because it's around. It's like, oh, I'm floating in sewage.

[35:36] Oh, gross. Oh, OK. This is just a pool of somebody's urine. And it's a little warmer.

[35:40] And I feel like more comfortable in it. Oh, I'm back in the cold, cold sewage.

[35:44] Yeah. Gross. Or like I'm just swallowing the cold, the coldness of the sewage.

[35:49] You know, a little bit like, oh, what about this? Like, oh, I've got to eat all this poop.

[35:55] I'm eating. I have to eat all this poop. Oh, OK. KFC. This is a nice,

[35:59] this is a nice break from the poop. It's like normally I would not want to eat that. But,

[36:04] you know, after nothing but poop, if I'm a human centipede and I get the day off.

[36:10] This episode of The Flop House is sponsored by KFC.

[36:16] Kentucky Fried Charlie, because Charlie is the name of the ghost.

[36:19] And that means I got to tell Dan and Stuart that they were being chased by Charlie's angel.

[36:24] Mm hmm. Charlie is taking he starts taking the form of at any point where they like

[36:29] stop chasing his Chucky's like, oh, actually, you can't say that, dude.

[36:33] That's intellectual property that there's a Charlie Tate starts taking the form of a

[36:37] hangman and is chasing them. And this school is so full of hidden rooms and secret passageways

[36:43] and labyrinths. And like this school, this could spawn easily four or five books in a

[36:50] series called The Mystery of the Labyrinth School.

[36:55] But it is like it's like the Winchester Mystery House of schools.

[36:58] Yeah, it's just doors that go nowhere, staircases into walls.

[37:02] There's and they finally get to the attic and they find their dead friends there. There's one

[37:05] moment where they're walking through the attic. And I really wanted and you know that Charlie,

[37:09] the hangman, is going to come towards them. Yeah. And I was really hoping, hoping,

[37:12] I was really hoping and hoping, which is when it turns out Barack Obama is killing people,

[37:18] I guess, which he is with drones. The one time Elliot fucks something up,

[37:22] he just makes fun of himself before we have a chance.

[37:25] Yeah, it's called it's called a preemptive strike. Yeah. Have you ever seen that scene in Roxanne?

[37:30] Because that's what I just called. It's called a young nerds defense mechanism.

[37:36] Well, it was high school for you. Oh, I hated it.

[37:40] Yeah. Was it all the hangman ghosts? To be honest, it was more, though,

[37:44] because of being trapped inside my own head, then thing I was not like identity,

[37:49] like I was bullied by the kids. But the bullying was not it wasn't so constant. It was really more

[37:53] just being inside my own unhappy head that was bad about it. So that got real. But anyway,

[37:57] what I really wanted was for them to be in the attic and Charlie to come charging towards them

[38:01] and then run past and be like, there's a much scarier ghost behind me. We got to get out of

[38:06] here. Sorry for killing your friends. But, uh, but feet don't fail me now. They get killed in

[38:13] stupid ways. Should we say there is a there's a shot that I really liked where they're making

[38:17] their way through the ductwork in the attic space of the school and they turn the camera away and

[38:22] then they turn back and there's just like ropes strewn everywhere. Like, oh, don't keep going.

[38:29] I don't think. And I and I agree. I agree with where you're going, Elliot, that we should mostly

[38:34] just skip to the end. But I do want to not pass over the fact that basically the villain in this

[38:39] movie is a noose. Like, we're supposed to just be like scared of like a noose coming out of

[38:45] nowhere. And I'm not saying that news coming out of nowhere and strangling. I mean, there's scary.

[38:50] Let me I'm going to talk about the are you afraid of the dark postulate, which is what my brother

[38:55] just brought up before, which I brought up when we were watching Are You Afraid of the Dark on SNCC,

[38:59] which is this show's not scary. But to be fair, if we were in that situation, we would be scared.

[39:06] So if I was locked in a dark school and there were nooses have fallen everywhere, I'd be scared.

[39:11] Yeah. But to watch it in a film is not particularly visually dynamic villain.

[39:15] I know it's an inanimate rope. Yeah, it's weird that it would be worse if the rope was moving

[39:21] around like a snake. I mean, I feel like it's weird that the the in a way, it's nice that all

[39:28] the victims are white kids because nooses have such a thing. It has such a tear. Mr.

[39:36] Woke over here. But I'm just saying that like the monster from Beyond Space, what is it? Which

[39:44] the body snatcher? OK, the body snatcher. Body Snatcher from Hell. That's a that's a fun movie.

[39:49] Yeah, it just feels like it just feels like if anybody if they had any people of color,

[39:53] the movie would have been much less taste, like even less taste everywhere. Yeah, exactly. It's

[39:59] such a like.

[40:00] horrible that's true i'll give you that you know what your comment made sense to me and that's

[40:04] what i'm saying it was it'd be like if there was i don't know um i don't even know don't even do it

[40:11] the uh we all know what you're saying we totally get it no need for a parallel no but wait you know

[40:16] no no no uh it's like if they were all armenians and the so the uh so we get to the ending it's

[40:24] just the i was gonna say everyone's been killed but reese and pfeiffer but there's only four

[40:28] characters yeah reason pfeiffer on the stage and they realize oh my my dad was supposed to be the

[40:33] actor and so he wants revenge on me and they reenact the end scene of the play whose lines

[40:39] of dialogue that also respond to this situation and they only get to that point because reese

[40:44] has realized he could have escaped but he thinks pfeiffer might be in trouble so he returns he has

[40:50] his hero he's willing to sacrifice himself for the girl he would get if this was a dnd game he

[40:56] would get at least one inspiration point he doesn't use it but he gets it now yes that's a

[41:01] fair point yeah fair inspiration point and he comes back in there's no the ghost wants me i

[41:06] have to do it he walks up to the gallow and now there's a there's a shot from the rear

[41:12] oh there's a shot behind them and i don't remember which camera that is there's a certain point where

[41:18] i could not remember there's a the video camera that styles is always carrying around or whatever

[41:23] character's name is and there's the cell phone that is also recording and there's a certain

[41:27] point where i lost track of which of these mechanisms we were looking through and where

[41:31] they were located yeah because you're so immersed in the film yeah and confused by the geography of

[41:36] it and did not wanting to pay attention because it was so dull but everyone know you know what

[41:40] not not dull is the wrong word but confusing and hectic in an unentertaining way you mean

[41:46] are you saying that just a shot of the floor with people's feet is dull because that's crazy hey

[41:51] some guys like that i'm not one of them i'm not gonna i'm not gonna judge them but there's there's

[41:57] a we see like the image is flickering on a little bit like it's this ghost is messing with the

[42:03] digital image and the ghost is kind of flickering in and out and he hangs uh reese and then the girl

[42:10] starts bowing to an unseen audience and then we see that the ghost is bowing with her and someone

[42:15] starts clapping in the audience and it is the grown-up girlfriend of charlie who was introduced

[42:23] way early in the movie and as soon as she's introduced i'm like that's the bad guy she's

[42:27] the baddest to her like i don't even know because when they were filming the rehearsals she was

[42:32] sitting in the back of the theater and they're like she comes to all of these she's so weird

[42:36] and they briefly interview her and she's like yeah i was charlie's girlfriend or something oh right i

[42:41] totally forgot and she appears a little crazy but still like i don't know like in a small town

[42:47] there's always single lady you know you gotta wow i'm not sure i'm not sure what that means

[42:54] i mean she doesn't look like a monster i mean you know she likes theater okay not sure she's got a

[43:01] lot to offer you know one of those small town ladies who likes theater and a lot to offer trying

[43:05] to set her up with one of our listeners yeah she's a fictional character who turns out to be crazy and

[43:10] in league with a ghost spoiler alert spoiler alert well i just said it well let's get to the

[43:16] so then the real like crazy twist then there's the real twist which is you cut to

[43:21] the police are entering a house cops are doing a bad boy style raid on what you're gonna do

[43:26] when they come for walk around the house is totally dark and they're like uh whatever and

[43:30] they enter until they enter a room where it's an evidence dungeon stewart called it while we're

[43:34] watching it until evidence dungeon there's little models of dolls fucking trademark stewart

[43:39] wellington he rules dot co or whatever i don't know slash edu yeah yeah because this is a business

[43:48] it's called the flop technically a business and uh they go there's a tv that's playing the the i

[43:56] guess the footage of charlie what is the footage of charlie dying or reese dying i don't i don't

[44:01] remember but then they go oh they're here suspects are here you pan over because it pans over and you

[44:05] see the two of them sitting there in the dark photos of them together yeah you see a bunch of

[44:11] photos of the grown-up girlfriend and pfeiffer oh is she her mother yeah no shit dude that's crazy

[44:17] you see them sitting on the bed watching this video and the grown-up girlfriend is just brushing

[44:22] pfeiffer's hair as a mother brushes a daughter's hair very in one of those like happy crazy

[44:29] psychotic people catatonic trances you see in movies yeah they're just they're just blissed

[44:33] out that they finally achieved their vengeance and they're having a mother-daughter moment that's

[44:37] actually kind of beautiful and it reminds me of the kind of intimacy that mothers and daughters

[44:41] can continue to have even as they get older that fathers and sons by the laws of masculine you know

[44:48] interaction are not allowed to have in our culture it reminds me of my friend no

[44:54] now if i if my wife saw her mom lying in bed not feeling well and said hey mom you need you need

[45:01] some support and crawled in with her and hugged her we'd be like yeah that's fine if my dad was

[45:05] sick in bed and i crawled in with him and hugged him it would be weird that's a good point but

[45:10] maybe not one for this movie uh i mean that it's valid whatever so when i was watching this movie i

[45:16] remembered when my friend porter uh had a girlfriend in college and we made jokes about it because

[45:22] because porterhouse uh his girlfriend was much younger than him uh but he you know he like had

[45:28] this moment of honesty with me one time where he was we were in college yeah so she was in high

[45:32] school all right and uh he had this moment of uh you know bald-faced honesty where he was

[45:39] yeah that's right bald-faced and i was right i just said i want to say like that you said it

[45:44] antiquated i liked it say it however i want uh and he he explained that he really liked reading lord

[45:51] of the rings to her and after love making he would sit on the edge of the bed and she would brush his

[45:56] hair oh which is awesome i mean that's fine i find that disquieting and adorable look whatever

[46:04] they're gonna do it's an intimate moment yeah no i think it's great the creepy thing is that while

[46:08] she was brushing she would sing hush little baby don't yeah yeah she'd break bells into his hair

[46:14] for all the enemies he's slaying around the road we're getting away from how crazy this twist is i

[46:22] want to be where the people are but creepy like let's go back so the twist is that our so the

[46:29] twist is that the implication is that the ex-girlfriend of charlie the charlie's girlfriend

[46:36] until he died has has a daughter the two of them worked plotted and worked together with a ghost

[46:42] and it's implied is she charlie's daughter because that would make her 20 years old

[46:47] why is she in high school is she undercover that doesn't just for this revenge plot and the police

[46:52] like the suspects are here we got them and then nooses come out and start attacking them and then

[46:57] charlie the hangman is there and he gets his face all up in the camera the end smash cut the gallows

[47:02] in big letters yeah so at this point stewart is jumping around the room he was like oh so the plan

[47:10] the plan was the plan of the daughter was like all right i'm gonna somehow convince the school

[47:15] to do a revival of this murderous play it makes sense step one for some reason somehow i'm gonna

[47:21] get the the guy who who we wanted whose father we want revenge on to be my leading man step two it's

[47:28] all falling into place the football team the football team and then his friend will inevitably

[47:35] convince him to sneak in only possible solution they ran the algorithm that's what came up nate

[47:40] silver looked it up that's what he predicted and then she can show up and we can reenact this uh

[47:47] this gallows again you're probably thinking is a ghost yeah you're probably thinking

[47:52] wait if she's related charlie she must also be related to rube goldberg

[47:58] for the way that these dominoes are falling into place that's so here's what we do we light a match

[48:05] the match irritates a cat whose tail hits a lever the lever gives the idea to the friend

[48:12] to go and break up the set and yeah that's the whole thing so and also that their end

[48:18] game of their plot was we're going to kill two cops and then i guess what go on the run

[48:22] just pick on the house where police show up and get murdered send more cops what they're basically

[48:28] doing is the way i used to play grand theft auto where i would get tired of the mission

[48:32] find a small location that i could hole up in and then just shoot people from there and see

[48:36] how many cop cars came after me and how big an explosion i could make uh-huh that's what they're

[48:41] doing but with a ghost who hangs people yep uh it's a very non it feels like a twist that was

[48:47] tacked on because they felt like there wasn't enough of a twist i think the real terrifying

[48:51] thing is the fact that here we see a teenage daughter getting along with her parents is that

[48:57] the only way that a teenager can get along with their parents is for them to be totally crazy

[49:02] murderers yeah that's it's a shocking indictment of america's family system think about it

[49:08] spend more time with your kids less time on your screens hashtag unless it's playing the

[49:14] flop house playing the parent like the flop house video game yeah yeah yeah it's like a

[49:21] fruit ninja style game where you're slapping wieners on the screen why is it all me

[49:29] i figured it was gonna be like a side scroller or or like a salmon max style point and click

[49:34] yeah strategy game where it's like oh i'll put this with this ding dong on the freak

[49:40] and he'll let me through the castle door but you uh there's a mini game where you have to

[49:45] adjust the ding dong to the exact thing and your phone vibrates as you get closer and closer

[49:50] it's like use submarine sandwich on guy's throat oh so it's like uh like a text-based adventure

[49:57] sometimes yeah yeah so

[50:00] we should get to a final judgments on this movie final good great

[50:03] judgments whether they were better is this movie

[50:07] totally scarifying is it totally

[50:10] snore a fine or is it frighteningly funny

[50:16] yes yes what was yours what what yours

[50:19] my judgment on this movie yeah it's totally star flying

[50:24] I mean it's not snore flying in the sense of like you didn't

[50:27] fall asleep which you've done before

[50:30] I was not literally snoring because other movies have passed that test

[50:35] very tired I heard that at your movie night on Friday during

[50:38] the howling part 2 you totally fell asleep legitimately fell asleep was that

[50:43] because

[50:43] I had guests in my home yeah was that you're like

[50:46] I guess they'll just rob me yeah they were howling with shock at how rude you

[50:51] were as a host

[50:52] I mean they stayed and they watched the howling too yeah because they were all

[50:55] amped up because he showed them

[50:57] they showed he showed them hellbound hellraiser 2 beforehand

[51:01] which I watched recently and is the wettest ass movie I've ever fucking seen

[51:05] dude okay it looks like every scene people showed up on

[51:09] on set and Clyde Barger's like get the spray bottle

[51:13] yeah I'm from England get some glycerin

[51:17] not shiny enough chimchimchurri

[51:21] there's such a thin line between pleasure and pain

[51:24] but for a movie that has so much like

[51:27] like I'm almost almost like an Alice in Wonderland quality of traveling through

[51:32] pain

[51:32] hellbound hellraiser 2 we're not talking about

[51:36] the gallows we're no longer talking about the gallows

[51:40] we're all going to say snorifying

[51:42] that feels kind of transportive and also like dreamlike

[51:46] it's so viscerally wet and gross

[51:49] yeah it's fucking great okay so the gallows though

[51:52] oh yeah no it's terrible it it has

[51:55] all the qualities of like a super shitty

[51:58] found footage horror movie that was banged out

[52:02] there's almost no other than literally one scene that we said was okay

[52:07] there's almost nothing of any kind of redeeming value

[52:11] I would call it a very a

[52:16] like it's not it wasn't snorifyingly like sleepy dull

[52:20] but it was not good and

[52:23] like a yeah this is I just don't know why my numbers

[52:27] don't understand why in like I guess

[52:30] I guess if you're like I've seen Blair Witch a million times

[52:34] but I want something that vaguely reminds me of the Blair Witch project

[52:38] let's just watch that if you want so I mean if you like

[52:41] if you want something funny the very end of this movie is kinda funny

[52:45] last like two minutes are pretty funny you have to go through the entire rest of

[52:49] the movie to get the full it is a real

[52:51] shaggy ghost story well and for a movie that is

[52:55] like there's almost no scares in the first like

[52:58] 40 minutes of this movie it's a lot of

[53:01] yeah it's a lot of set up but not entertaining set up yeah

[53:05] yeah like there's there's no it may remind me of like it does poorly what

[53:08] Carrie does so well

[53:10] where Carrie for most of its runtime is just high school

[53:13] there's very little like supernatural stuff yeah but it's really but it's

[53:17] entertaining high school stuff

[53:19] high school is pretty terrifying yeah

[53:22] and I mean you mentioned House of the Devil which is a movie that's amazing

[53:25] and for a large chunk of it nothing happened there's like

[53:28] that's the this movie was doing in theory the same thing that House of the

[53:32] Devil is doing which is you're in a big dark

[53:34] lots of shots of feet and you're just walking around lots of shots of feet but

[53:37] House of the Devil is so scary

[53:39] and this is so not scary so

[53:42] snorifying so run don't walk to the gallows

[53:45] I'm Bez and I'm Teresa

[53:52] and we host the weekly comedy podcast One Bad Mother

[53:55] we celebrate our moments of parenting genius as well as our failures

[53:59] just like we're gonna have hot dogs and I'm like oh no we're having fun everybody loves hot dogs

[54:04] yeah and it just like smashes that thing right on my chest and then I'm just crying in the middle of like

[54:08] kids space while people are like literally dancing with their children

[54:11] parenting can be sad and painfully funny at the same time

[54:14] so join us each week as we admit that this is hard but we're getting really

[54:19] good at it

[54:19] find us at MaximumFun.org or wherever you download podcasts

[54:26] tonight the Flophouse is sponsored in part

[54:29] by Zip Recruiter

[54:32] are you hiring do you know where to post your job to find the best

[54:36] candidates no so where do I do that well look posting your job in one place

[54:41] not enough to find the right candidate for your job

[54:44] yeah there's a post in the middle of town in town square and you're like I

[54:48] need some adventures to clear out all the goblins from my basement

[54:51] yeah that doesn't work anymore that doesn't cut the mustard

[54:55] he collects goblins and needs to move them because he's selling the house

[54:58] yeah clear them out if you want to find the perfect employee you need to post

[55:03] your job on

[55:04] all the top job sites and now you can with ZipRecruiter.com

[55:08] which lets you post your job to 100 plus job sites

[55:12] including social media networks like Facebook and Twitter

[55:15] all with one click you can find candidates in any city or industry

[55:20] nationwide

[55:21] just post once and watch qualified candidates roll in

[55:24] to ZipRecruiter.com no juggling emails

[55:28] no calls directly to your office just screen candidates

[55:32] rate them find the right person fast and

[55:36] right now our listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter.com

[55:40] for free by going to ZipRecruiter.com

[55:43] slash first that's ZipRecruiter.com slash first

[55:48] for the first house

[55:52] so if the Flophouse was ever thinking about hiring an intern maybe

[55:55] somebody to open to go out to the store and go on beer runs for me pick up

[56:00] Elliot's Popeyes

[56:01] open your beers for you and open my beers I can't be bothered to do that shit

[56:04] my hands are precious

[56:07] you're like Doctor Strange you need them for surgery

[56:10] don't fucking spoil that movie I haven't seen it yet. Dan don't pretend you've always been on the

[56:14] Doctor Strange bandwagon

[56:16] suddenly he's got a big feature film I know all about Stephen Strange's hands

[56:20] if I asked you a year ago hey Dan what happened to Doctor Strange's hands

[56:24] you'd be like who what where when why and how Linda Ellerbee

[56:28] I would have been like what's his face who's the artist

[56:33] what? that movie with the dog?

[56:36] yeah I thought it was Steve Ditko but I didn't want you throwing that in my face like I knew you would if I got it wrong

[56:42] I mean lots of artists have drawn Doctor Strange over the years but Steve Ditko

[56:46] all I would have known about Doctor Strange's hands is that Steve Ditko

[56:50] loves drawing hands in weird positions. Look at the fingers all over the place

[56:53] fingers at Kimbo so ZipRecruiter though

[56:56] if you wanted to get Steve Ditko to do a job on ZipRecruiter

[57:00] he's around hire him you just gonna have to hear him talk about I ran for

[57:04] hours and hours on end now here's the thing

[57:07] that I like about this in today's world

[57:10] everybody's their own brand in their own business

[57:13] and so you're gonna need to hire other people but it's hard to know how to find

[57:17] those people

[57:18] because while we're almost more connected digitally at the same time we

[57:22] are

[57:22] less interactive as a community

[57:25] just like Black Mirror

[57:28] so try it out and I bet you'll find the person that you want

[57:31] yeah use that code what was it ZipRecruiter.com slash first

[57:34] slash yep first to uh you get a free post in

[57:38] get a free try yeah

[57:41] one free zip mm-hmm E the pinhead

[57:46] by Bill Griffith there's a Griffith Griffith

[57:49] Griffith common handy show

[57:52] the Flophouse is also supported in part by Squarespace

[57:56] Squarespace where the

[58:00] whether you need

[58:03] whether you need a landing page a beautiful gallery a professional blog

[58:07] or an online store it's all included with your Squarespace website

[58:11] now look it's hard to create a website right

[58:15] no wrong with Squarespace it's easy it's a simple intuitive process

[58:20] you can it's all drag-and-drop arrange your content you can click a mouse and

[58:25] boom you're done

[58:26] I Dan I have a question okay I have an idea for a website and I want to get it

[58:31] made and I don't know how to code

[58:32] I don't know anything about the Internet could Squarespace help me

[58:35] yeah you know why cuz they've got great templates

[58:39] so maybe those were for my for my website it's called Prostate Noir

[58:43] dot com and it's so like the all the noir stylings of the forties the films

[58:48] we've come to love

[58:50] you know I have you guys the big sleep all that stuff

[58:54] applied to the modern science and examination of the male prostate

[58:59] something that is needed ever more than ever with today's aging male population

[59:04] so what I'm trying to make I'm trying to make ever-changing world in which we

[59:08] live in

[59:09] it would make you want to give up and try yeah is that the words

[59:12] I don't know here's a little I die but it's hard to know how to get across that

[59:17] message I'm imagining

[59:18] a but with a cigarette in it correct

[59:21] and the fedora and Venetian blind shadows you've already seen the

[59:27] concept you don't get rain on your butt crack and that's the vision that I want

[59:30] to put online and get like rain on your butt crack and Dan is that the kind of

[59:37] vision that Squarespace can help me get across because I want people to be able

[59:40] to use this on their phone if they're on the train at home on a laptop maybe an

[59:44] iPad at work so that they can in this so they can learn about their own prostate

[59:48] health this thing through the visual vocabulary of noir film this thing

[59:53] scales to whatever you're using it on a phone tablet laptop it's got

[1:00:00] Awesome design, it's great.

[1:00:02] And it's got 24-7 customer support.

[1:00:07] And every member of the customer care team

[1:00:09] is an experienced Squarespace user

[1:00:11] working in a Squarespace office.

[1:00:13] And I should ask, oh, it's not outsourced to Mars or something?

[1:00:17] No.

[1:00:18] Gleep Glorp, let me help you with the problem.

[1:00:20] Yeah.

[1:00:21] You will not hear one Gleep Glorp.

[1:00:23] Stealing our jobs, right?

[1:00:25] Yep, shipping them to Mars.

[1:00:28] This is Rob.

[1:00:29] I'm in Omaha, Gleep Glorp.

[1:00:31] No, you're not.

[1:00:32] You're on Mount Mons Olympus.

[1:00:36] And they don't judge the content of the sites, right?

[1:00:41] I don't know anything about that, but probably not.

[1:00:44] Probably your prostate.

[1:00:45] I mean, within reason.

[1:00:46] Yeah.

[1:00:47] Well, not my prostate.

[1:00:48] America's prostates.

[1:00:49] OK.

[1:00:50] With noir style.

[1:00:51] America's prostates on Fox.

[1:00:54] America's got prostates.

[1:00:57] But you can start your free trial today.

[1:00:58] It's squarespace.com slash flop to get 10% off your first purchase.

[1:01:05] Nice.

[1:01:06] Your pronunciation of 10 is coming along nicely.

[1:01:08] Well, it's been the constant ostracization from you guys.

[1:01:13] I'll allow it.

[1:01:15] I'll allow that pronunciation.

[1:01:17] Pick more complicated words, please.

[1:01:20] Let's just start saying some dinosaur names.

[1:01:24] OK, guys.

[1:01:25] You know what that means?

[1:01:27] It's time for some Jumbotron.

[1:01:29] Jumbo.

[1:01:30] Jumbotron.

[1:01:31] Jumbotron.

[1:01:33] That's right, Starscream.

[1:01:34] It's me, your enemy, Jumbotron.

[1:01:37] Played by Sean Connery.

[1:01:40] Our first Jumbotron says this.

[1:01:44] Do you think Shocktober should last all year long?

[1:01:48] Then you need to listen to the Kill by Kill podcast,

[1:01:52] where Friends of the Flophouse, Gina Radcliffe and Patrick Hamilton,

[1:01:56] I added that word, discuss the least celebrated component

[1:02:00] of any horror film, the characters.

[1:02:04] They unpacked all the gory details of every on-screen death

[1:02:08] in the Friday the 13th franchise, one of my favorite franchises.

[1:02:13] Mine's Flop Eyes.

[1:02:15] One hack, slash, and decapitation at a time.

[1:02:19] Because a camper's untimely end is just the beginning

[1:02:23] of the jokes they can make about them.

[1:02:25] So thank Jason, it's Friday.

[1:02:28] New episodes of Kill by Kill are available fortnightly from iTunes.

[1:02:33] And follow them on Twitter, at Kill by Kill Pod.

[1:02:37] Kill by Kill Podcast.

[1:02:38] Yeah, I follow those guys on Twitter.

[1:02:40] And we've got another Jumbotron message from DirtyBirdEnergy.com.

[1:02:44] Extra Jumbotron.

[1:02:46] And they want you to visit DirtyBirdEnergy.com

[1:02:48] to learn more about caffeinated energy soap.

[1:02:52] Made with coconut oil and sustainably sourced palm oil.

[1:02:55] Those are two different types of oil.

[1:02:56] We make sure only the best ingredients are touching your skin.

[1:03:00] Parabens, sulfates and phthalates free.

[1:03:04] DirtyBirdEnergy soap is infused with caffeine,

[1:03:06] peppermint oil and biodegradable jojoba, parentheses, hoboba beads.

[1:03:11] That maybe was the pronunciation.

[1:03:13] Sure.

[1:03:13] But I just read it wrong.

[1:03:15] Hoboba beads.

[1:03:16] It not only gets you super clean, it wakes you up.

[1:03:19] DirtyBirdEnergy soap comes in a patent-pending plastic case that snaps shut,

[1:03:23] making the large five-ounce bar soap portable.

[1:03:26] Perfect for traveling, camping or the gym.

[1:03:30] Try a bar.

[1:03:31] That soap sounds delicious.

[1:03:32] I can't wait to eat that soap.

[1:03:33] No, it's for cleaning yourself.

[1:03:36] We'll have to order some of those soaps and just, you know, try them out.

[1:03:40] Soap each other up with them.

[1:03:42] Yeah, why are you looking at me weird, Elliot?

[1:03:44] It's pretty normal, man.

[1:03:45] I told Dan made the subtext text.

[1:03:47] I wasn't sure if you were actually referring to just taking a shower together or not.

[1:03:50] The thing is, the idea of bathhouses is common in almost every other culture, Elliot.

[1:03:57] That's true.

[1:03:57] You got me there.

[1:03:58] How come it hasn't reached America yet?

[1:04:00] I don't know.

[1:04:01] I mean, don't Americans like to be clean?

[1:04:03] It has in that, I guess, the Native American, like, smokehouse tradition.

[1:04:07] Sure, I guess.

[1:04:08] You know, steam house, those types of things.

[1:04:10] But so it's reached the American continent.

[1:04:13] In fact, it was here before we were.

[1:04:15] You know, I think you're right, Elliot.

[1:04:17] We all learned something tonight here, guys.

[1:04:19] So you're right.

[1:04:19] This has been the flop house.

[1:04:20] Thanks, everybody.

[1:04:21] The only thing that would make hanging out with you guys this way better is if instead of doing a podcast,

[1:04:26] we're all naked in a lukewarm tub somewhere.

[1:04:28] Mm hmm.

[1:04:29] That would be great, right?

[1:04:31] Are you being sarcastic?

[1:04:32] I can't tell.

[1:04:33] No, not at all.

[1:04:35] Totally.

[1:04:36] Wait, so are you into it?

[1:04:37] I can't tell.

[1:04:38] No, it'd be real great.

[1:04:40] I'm a listener at home.

[1:04:41] I don't have any visual cues.

[1:04:43] I can't see Elliot rolling his eyes.

[1:04:47] But now, the moment you've been waiting for.

[1:04:50] For the next segment of the show, which is called Letters from Listeners.

[1:04:54] It's everyone's favorite segment.

[1:04:57] Everyone's favorite segment.

[1:05:00] And the favorite part of the favorite segment is the song.

[1:05:05] It'll be a long song.

[1:05:07] Probably a song so long, possibly, that it just goes on incredibly and on reliably.

[1:05:17] It's the song part of the letters segment where I sing about the song for the letters segment.

[1:05:26] You know, I used to sort of just pretend to be annoyed.

[1:05:30] But over time, it's ground me down.

[1:05:33] That was the song about the song.

[1:05:35] This is the song that is the song.

[1:05:38] It's the letters time, letters time, letters time for letters.

[1:05:44] Dan, read us some letters.

[1:05:47] Stuart makes some jokes about the letters.

[1:05:51] Letter writers write in the letters.

[1:05:53] And Elliot sing this song about the letters.

[1:05:57] We all have our part to play in the play of life.

[1:06:01] Everyone has a role, drama, and strife.

[1:06:05] But at the end of the day, we take our bows, fall into the grave,

[1:06:11] and then somehow we're together again in heaven again with letters.

[1:06:20] All right, letters is taped before a live studio audience.

[1:06:23] I'm assuming there are listeners have now stopped, like,

[1:06:26] smashing that skip 15 seconds button on their iPhones.

[1:06:29] Oh, I didn't even think about that.

[1:06:31] People probably do do that.

[1:06:33] Do do.

[1:06:34] Anyway, my husband introduced me to your show.

[1:06:37] This is the letter.

[1:06:38] This is the letter.

[1:06:39] I don't have it.

[1:06:39] Dan, this is not your way of explaining to us that one, you're gay,

[1:06:42] and two, you're married.

[1:06:43] I'm not really surprised you're gay, and I'm happy that you

[1:06:47] feel comfortable coming out.

[1:06:49] I am offended I was not invited to your wedding.

[1:06:51] Yeah.

[1:06:53] It was very small.

[1:06:55] It was me and a bunch of mice.

[1:06:57] Oh, they were over in Wilton Studios.

[1:07:00] Settled inside a tree.

[1:07:05] No, this is the letter.

[1:07:06] You guys have got to help me.

[1:07:07] I fell through a rabbit hole into a magical fantasy land and got married.

[1:07:12] Instead of a wedding cake, we had one EL fudge cookie.

[1:07:18] Dan, what's with the cough, bro?

[1:07:20] Have you been smoking all that weed?

[1:07:22] Yeah, 420, dudes.

[1:07:25] Oh, man.

[1:07:27] It was the laziest yes ending.

[1:07:31] So the letter, your husband.

[1:07:32] My husband introduced me to your show, and we've both

[1:07:35] been big fans for a few years now.

[1:07:37] Elliot, your letter songs are the high point of every show, for real.

[1:07:41] Yeah, thank you.

[1:07:41] And your sliced-alone impressions are a rare and wonderful delight.

[1:07:44] Don't know what you're talking about.

[1:07:46] Dan, you were funnier than the other guys give you credit for.

[1:07:49] You're totally, you're totally.

[1:07:52] Let me just give that compliment overhand.

[1:07:56] Nope, let me just la that underhand.

[1:07:58] Is this praise faint enough?

[1:08:00] Let's make it a little fainter.

[1:08:03] Your totally deadpan delivery is the best and makes me LOL for real.

[1:08:08] Stuart, your super hotness combined with your deep knowledge

[1:08:11] of esoteric Lord of the Rings trivia makes you too dreamy for this world.

[1:08:16] OK, I hope you're all.

[1:08:17] But maybe dreamy enough for the Grey Havens.

[1:08:21] Hope you're all sufficiently buttered up, because I need your help.

[1:08:24] I'm a new mom.

[1:08:26] My daughter is.

[1:08:26] Congratulations.

[1:08:27] Yeah.

[1:08:27] Yeah, my daughter is six months old, and I'm struggling

[1:08:30] with some postpartum depression.

[1:08:32] Well, you don't have to show her a RoboCop until she's nine.

[1:08:36] Like my dad did with me.

[1:08:37] I'm struggling with some postpartum depression.

[1:08:40] Sorry to hear that.

[1:08:40] And I need some sad movie recommendations.

[1:08:43] Here's why.

[1:08:44] I've always been someone who has a hard time really letting go and crying,

[1:08:47] even when I feel very sad.

[1:08:49] I'm not sure why.

[1:08:50] I don't have any trouble feeling sad about sad things.

[1:08:53] I just have trouble tapping in and getting outwardly emotional about it,

[1:08:56] even when it might help.

[1:08:58] I've often relied on sad movies to help get the waterworks going.

[1:09:03] For some reason, even when I can't work up

[1:09:05] any tears about very real sad things in my own life,

[1:09:08] a really sad movie can get me there.

[1:09:09] I can understand that.

[1:09:11] So now that I'm feeling some serious baby blues,

[1:09:14] I could use a few recommendations of some sad movies

[1:09:16] to help me have a good cathartic cry when I need it.

[1:09:19] Well, don't read the comic strip Baby Blues, because it's hilarious.

[1:09:22] Yeah.

[1:09:23] You'll be crying with laughter.

[1:09:24] What are the saddest movies you can think of?

[1:09:26] For a while, my number one sad movie was The House of Sand and Plog,

[1:09:29] which reduced me to a quivering pile of tears.

[1:09:32] Then I saw The Wind That Shakes the Barley,

[1:09:34] and now that might be my top sad movie of all time.

[1:09:36] That's very sad.

[1:09:37] Anyway, can you help me cry?

[1:09:39] Sarah, last name with help.

[1:09:40] Well, if you're looking to cry and you're me, you've got to go The Iron Giant.

[1:09:44] But it's not a sad movie.

[1:09:45] It just makes me cry.

[1:09:46] Yeah, I mean, are we just talking about movies that make us cry, Dan?

[1:09:49] Or are we talking about things that are sad?

[1:09:51] That's the thing, because for me, really sad movies don't make me cry so much.

[1:09:55] I find that a movie that has some sort of cathartic moment or...

[1:10:00] Transcendent moments is what makes me. Yeah, I can see that

[1:10:04] or even just if a movie reaches a height of a

[1:10:07] Particular level of quality. I'll find myself tearing up just in like joy at the thing that I'm watching just knowing that you'll never

[1:10:19] Yeah, I think I'm gonna stop beating around the bush guys just our list of movies that make me cry

[1:10:23] Okay, so castle freak return of the king those end credits. I fucking cry. I can't help it

[1:10:30] That's okay

[1:10:31] most movies

[1:10:33] Some movies with time. Let's just say some movies with Tom Hanks not bachelor party. That does not make no

[1:10:38] I know Captain Phillips. You have a man. Holy shit. It's like watching my dad cry. Yeah

[1:10:43] That one made me yeah, Toy Story time. Hey, dude

[1:10:46] Yeah, Toy Story 3 if you feel nothing watching Toy Story 3 you are a block of stone and ironically you were a toy

[1:10:55] Yep

[1:10:56] Or this is not a movie, but this gets me every time just put on the fucking Hamilton soundtrack

[1:11:01] oh, man, the second either that soundtrack either wait for it or

[1:11:06] The one at the end where we're Aaron Burr singing like that shit always getting which one at the end rare person

[1:11:12] You know the one that he where he's saying after Hamilton's been shot like how there was enough room for both of them in the world

[1:11:18] Yeah, yeah world was wide enough. That's the name of the song

[1:11:21] There's other song that his wife sings for some reason the Aaron Burr shit gets me worse

[1:11:25] I think it's because it reminds me of the end of Return of the King the animated movie

[1:11:30] Where Gollum dies because he's such like this sad tragic figure

[1:11:34] That's true. It's quiet uptown and then like the song that his wife sings about like, you know continuing his story like who writes

[1:11:41] Those ones make me

[1:11:43] Yeah, so but there's also sad movies that aren't

[1:11:47] tearjerkers like maybe the

[1:11:49] Most depressing movie that I can think of that. I really like his cries and whispers

[1:11:54] Okay, which is a hugely like it's a rough experience, but it didn't make me cry

[1:11:58] It's kind of like left me shaking like in the end

[1:12:00] I mean not shaking in the same way that Fury Road left me shaking right could not stand up

[1:12:06] You were shaking the towel the jism off

[1:12:09] It's

[1:12:15] Like I was like I could every molecule my body was vibrating at a different level than usual

[1:12:27] Another one is

[1:12:29] grave the Fireflies animated movie from Japan or also a very sad movie and

[1:12:34] Also, what may make you cry depending on how you handle child death, is it a problem if there are

[1:12:41] Subtitles or not because like I recommended

[1:12:44] Pater Panchali a while ago on the on this podcast and like that has it ends in a very sad way and

[1:12:51] Like the life of a Haru is a very sad movie essential the bailiff is it is it's you know, like

[1:12:57] Who gets who is not?

[1:12:59] Super sad, but it ends in it in a way that makes me cry like there's those

[1:13:03] you know, there's there's this period of like Japanese movies where they're not tearjerker movies, but

[1:13:09] That end up in the in a very heavily emotional way, you know

[1:13:12] Yeah, I mean every kind I don't know why I'm singling out Japanese movies. Every country has movies that makes people cry, you know

[1:13:17] Yeah, I mean, I think it's a I have a hard time like if you're just looking for sad movies

[1:13:23] I don't necessarily like no ones that make me cry because like

[1:13:27] Sadness in and of itself isn't what makes me cry

[1:13:30] If you're watching League of Their Own the scene where Betty's spaghetti learns their

[1:13:34] Design that's gonna make you cry probably come on

[1:13:38] But I've said before that like pretty much every Wes Anderson movie has a moment of like like catharsis that makes me cry

[1:13:44] Like there's stuff like the very end

[1:13:47] Even the Fantastic Mr. Fox. No, not that one. Okay, not his best movie the very

[1:13:53] the very end

[1:13:55] Monologue and Raising Arizona always makes me cry that makes me cry for sure. Yeah, I don't know why

[1:14:02] Inherently pretty silly, but it's beautiful. It's yeah, it's it's heartfelt

[1:14:06] It's and it's some it is a silly character who is laying bare his soul and his hopes at that moment

[1:14:12] Mm-hmm

[1:14:15] So just some of those I feel like you too, but I mean these are a lot of very like guy heavy

[1:14:22] Versions of sad movies a number of them involved

[1:14:26] Crying it like dudes learning things or robots or toys

[1:14:32] Or epic quests have it come to an end those are the Shakespeare said that those were the key plots, right?

[1:14:39] Yeah, learning things or robots or toys. I mean like I feel like I don't not knowing this person

[1:14:45] well

[1:14:45] I don't know if I'm the right person answer it probably because like

[1:14:47] What something that made me cry a lot was there was a book I read about

[1:14:50] Grant and Sherman's friendship and it ended with a long description of the veterans of the Civil War going on their last parade

[1:14:58] past

[1:14:59] the reviewing stand and like these men having been through this experience and now it was all over like that made that made choked me

[1:15:06] up but like I

[1:15:08] Don't know if that's something that another person would react to you

[1:15:10] Don't know what you're gonna if you're gonna react to the same thing someone else will so these are hopefully

[1:15:14] We're admitting that we're coming from a very specific perspective, yes, but hopefully some of these will help you find what you're looking for

[1:15:22] This next letter I still

[1:15:25] Haven't found it's like a fucking angel what you're looking for spider-man turn off the dark

[1:15:32] This next letter goes hey guys in episode 150 grudge match you casually asked what Amy Irving is up to

[1:15:39] I had well, she's me signed Amy last night. Well, I had some spare time while relisting to the episode this past weekend

[1:15:45] So here's a list of recent credits then you're right. She was on alias

[1:15:50] movies traffic

[1:15:51] 2000 13 conversations about one thing 2001

[1:15:55] Was that Steven Soderbergh? Yeah

[1:15:59] 2002 hide-and-seek 2005 Adam 2009

[1:16:03] Here's some recent credits seven years ago 14 years ago 16 years ago

[1:16:08] TV reoccurring roles in alias and

[1:16:11] Zero our guest role roles in house and the good wife

[1:16:15] 2015 the good wife that's the most recent one. Okay to make this way just Charles murderer

[1:16:23] Spoiler

[1:16:24] To make this less of an insane response to an offhand question by someone who needs more hobbies. I'll test the question

[1:16:30] I have a question was Amy Irving related to Washington Irving. I'll look it up

[1:16:34] Which actor do you wish got more work these days? Is it Amy Irving? Is it Val Kilmer?

[1:16:39] I'm really interested in favorites of yours that have fallen off the radar in the last decade or so

[1:16:45] ROCK and the USA OPS John last name withheld

[1:16:49] so

[1:16:50] Are there any favorites of ours that we wish got more work these days?

[1:16:54] I mean, there's a lot of older actors that don't work that I want to see in movies, but they're just they like retired

[1:17:00] Yeah, like you don't you don't see like Harry Dean Stanton in movies very much but like he's very elderly now

[1:17:09] But like, you know at the list longtime listeners, no, I'm a big fan of Carla Gugino and I wish that she was a bigger

[1:17:16] Oh, but she's she's got something coming up. She was just in like what San Andreas or whatever was he was on that?

[1:17:22] Terrible Cameron Crowe show roadies. Oh, she was yeah, I mean it wasn't terrible

[1:17:27] It just wasn't if I know that I might have watched it, but I watched a few episodes

[1:17:31] I was like, I don't need to keep watching this but I can see how it's pleasant. Yeah

[1:17:36] My brain shut down, but she's she's in a movie that or she's in a TV show

[1:17:41] That's based on a movie that I can't remember the name of now

[1:17:45] Look it up guys. Carla Gugino good IMDb

[1:17:49] I feel like Jeff Goldblum was all over the place for a while and then I don't feel like it's just on Portlandia every now

[1:17:54] and then yeah, uh

[1:17:57] Of course I'm gonna say

[1:17:59] Jeffrey Combs, it's crazy that guy isn't in every movie. I love that guy

[1:18:04] Barbara Crampton luckily has been getting to see a little bit more work lately. That's awesome

[1:18:10] I'm trying to think oh, uh, oh, I mean, I guess he's never been in a ton of stuff, but I'm a big fan of Enver

[1:18:17] Yokai, I think I'm pronouncing that correctly from dollhouse and he was in agent Carter

[1:18:24] Don't even get me started on agent Carter. Yeah, I'll never stop because that's a show that I like

[1:18:34] I'll never stop talking about it

[1:18:37] There's a tough one because I feel like there's so many and yet I can't think of them is

[1:18:43] It's Charles S Dutton in that new Star Wars movie that's coming up he is okay because I like him a lot

[1:18:48] He's yeah, I haven't

[1:18:49] Seen him in too much stuff. Oh, she's in Carlo Gugino's in

[1:18:54] Gerald's game. Oh

[1:18:56] Making a movie. Yeah, they're doing. Oh, I thought that I thought that that guy wasn't gonna happen though

[1:19:01] Are they doing a movie of it still? I think that's what it looks like. Huh? Bruce Greenwood is in it

[1:19:06] You love Bruce Greenwood

[1:19:08] No real opinion on Bruce Greenwood

[1:19:16] He's fine, I'm glad he's working to

[1:19:20] So the answer is Bruce Greenwood, I mean, there's a certain time when I played lurch in Adams families

[1:19:30] No matter how much no matter how good they are like everyone seems to ebb and flow like oh sure

[1:19:36] I feel I can tell

[1:19:37] Hustling until the night of the night of on HBO like I feel like I hadn't seen John Turturro in a while

[1:19:42] Oh, I see him all the time in my neighborhood walking around. So I did not

[1:19:46] See him in a while

[1:19:48] Half the time he's like walking into traffic and then cars are honking at him. He's like, hey, I'm John Turturro

[1:19:54] He's I'm on Tom Turturro here. He's just kind of in his own world. Mm-hmm, but uh

[1:19:58] Yeah, there's yeah

[1:20:00] I mean, that's that's the having a career.

[1:20:02] Sometimes you work a lot and sometimes you don't.

[1:20:04] And there are a lot of times when you feel like that.

[1:20:07] And sometimes, you know, like Gene Wilder passed away recently.

[1:20:10] And for a long time, I was like, I want someone to do for Gene Wilder

[1:20:14] what Wes Anderson did for Bill Murray, which was like take someone

[1:20:18] who had been not as much in the public eye and like make a small movie

[1:20:22] where they really get a chance to shine.

[1:20:24] Because, you know, others had plenty of chances to shine.

[1:20:26] He's amazing.

[1:20:27] But like I missed seeing new things with him.

[1:20:30] But he also like, I think, just didn't want to perform that much.

[1:20:34] Like it was his choice.

[1:20:35] It was not the Hollywood's choice to not have Gene Wilder and things.

[1:20:38] It was his choice.

[1:20:39] And like sometimes people just don't want to be doing stuff at the moment, you know.

[1:20:45] Which is not to say there aren't actors who are great, who want to work

[1:20:48] and aren't, you know, because the industry is unfair, but.

[1:20:51] We are, as always, going long.

[1:20:53] So I think I'm going to skip to the last letter.

[1:20:54] Yeah, tell the affiliates.

[1:20:55] I'm going to skip to the final letter.

[1:20:57] What's the other?

[1:20:58] What's the one you're skipping about that?

[1:20:59] Why don't you read the one you're skipping?

[1:21:00] I'll read it very quickly and we won't discuss it.

[1:21:02] OK. I mean, because there's really not much to discuss.

[1:21:05] It was just kind of funny.

[1:21:06] Dear Dan, I love you.

[1:21:07] You're the best. Love, Dan.

[1:21:08] Hello. I just woke up after having a dream about you guys.

[1:21:11] And I thought I'd share it with you.

[1:21:13] In my dream, there's a ping pong tournament being held against the podcasters.

[1:21:16] But it was like a Mario tennis game and that everyone was using wired rackets

[1:21:20] and had special moves.

[1:21:21] And Scott Aukermans was the ref.

[1:21:23] Your match, for some reason, only Dan and Elliot were allowed to play,

[1:21:27] as using Stewart would be considered cheating, was against.

[1:21:30] How did this get made?

[1:21:31] You guys won.

[1:21:32] The only other match I saw was Paul Tompkins versus John Hodgman.

[1:21:36] I didn't see the end of that.

[1:21:37] Almost two evenly matched.

[1:21:39] I didn't see the end of that one because Dan went on.

[1:21:42] Dan went on a pirate ship after that.

[1:21:45] I followed him there and we sang pirate songs for the rest of the night.

[1:21:48] Also, Dan was wearing a long black coat, turtleneck and the scarf the whole time.

[1:21:52] He should wear that in real life.

[1:21:53] He looks good in it.

[1:21:55] How could you skip that letter?

[1:21:56] That was a great letter.

[1:21:57] Moving on to the next one.

[1:21:58] All right.

[1:21:59] So final letter of the evening.

[1:22:01] Dear Flophousers,

[1:22:03] Kohlhausers, curious writers and like myself want to know,

[1:22:07] Dan, do you dip into the backlog of letters to select a regular slate

[1:22:11] of possibly pleasurable communiques to read on air?

[1:22:14] I imagine every letter is filed away in a Raiders of the Lost Ark style warehouse

[1:22:18] and pulled from the archives by the house cat secretary.

[1:22:22] I ask because I'm sure that for every longtime listener, first time writer

[1:22:26] you read, there are thousands of regular writers who curse them

[1:22:30] and all the last name withhelds who make it onto the holiest of holies.

[1:22:33] That movie mailbag.

[1:22:35] What does it take to scribe the perfect letter to appease you, jackasses?

[1:22:39] Did I mention the house cat?

[1:22:41] Check.

[1:22:42] Did I make Dan sound great in the subject line?

[1:22:44] Check.

[1:22:45] Did I then seek to confound Dan and his tongue tied tendencies

[1:22:49] with an injurious onslaught of ludicrous, ludicrously laborious language

[1:22:54] for the audience's regalement?

[1:22:55] It's an alliterative assault.

[1:22:57] Dan, if you read that correctly, almost.

[1:22:59] You've been practicing.

[1:23:00] That was no.

[1:23:01] When Dan Dan's tongue is like

[1:23:06] a fryer tuck, if you will.

[1:23:08] You don't expect much from it until the big fight at the end.

[1:23:12] And then he's an amazing battler.

[1:23:13] Yeah, up until then, it's just give me back my mutton leg.

[1:23:17] Ah, at the end, it's like bam, bam, bam, bam.

[1:23:20] Take it down the sheriff's men.

[1:23:22] So for all of us whose letters don't make it past

[1:23:25] what I can only imagine to be a series of rigorous tests,

[1:23:29] a series of rigorous tests to judge their inherent comedic potential.

[1:23:33] What can we do?

[1:23:34] Do we need to wish upon a monkey's paw in order to just once hear

[1:23:37] my words given voice by the tyrant Daniel McCoy?

[1:23:40] Callback check.

[1:23:42] How does it work?

[1:23:43] Whatever.

[1:23:44] C.J., last name withheld.

[1:23:46] P.S., thanks for thanks for reading my letter, guys.

[1:23:49] Second, unread letter writers, I'm part of the club now.

[1:23:53] So I'll say that.

[1:23:56] The the two greatest

[1:24:00] tricks, the Delaware Pold is convincing the world he didn't exist

[1:24:03] and inventing those gross circus peanuts and that one keeping them in stores

[1:24:07] when everyone hates them and they're gross.

[1:24:09] And that trick where it makes it look like it's taking his thumb off.

[1:24:12] Yeah. Yeah.

[1:24:13] Yeah, that's a great trick, Dan. Yeah.

[1:24:17] The two best guidelines for a good letter

[1:24:21] to be read on the flophouse are the two guidelines for a good movie

[1:24:27] to be read, to be watched on the flophouse.

[1:24:29] I think I know one of these.

[1:24:30] One, it's short. Yeah.

[1:24:33] And two, it seems like something that will foster some discussion.

[1:24:38] So if you want to write a letter,

[1:24:42] you know, keep it pithy and maybe ask a question

[1:24:45] that can inspire us to talk about some stuff.

[1:24:49] Yeah, I mean, and failing that just be funny.

[1:24:52] Yeah. You just got to put us on the spot.

[1:24:53] So we're we search for an answer.

[1:24:56] And then we're like, oh, I wish Dan told us about this ahead of time.

[1:24:59] Email us or some shit.

[1:25:01] Yeah, we I mentioned you many times, Dan.

[1:25:04] There's like a question where they're like, give me.

[1:25:06] Can you recommend a da da da to me?

[1:25:08] Sure. Notify us of those ahead of time so we can look them up.

[1:25:11] No, it's funnier production.

[1:25:14] Yeah, it's certainly funnier if we sound stupid.

[1:25:16] I think a lot of times I start thinking about it.

[1:25:18] I think it helps when you write into anything that you like

[1:25:21] to lose the first instinct, which is to be like,

[1:25:25] they're going to notice this letter and they're going to know I'm cool

[1:25:28] and they're going to want to be friends with me,

[1:25:29] which is certainly how I wrote into things for years.

[1:25:32] That's how when I wrote a fan letter to the band Tool.

[1:25:36] That's certainly what I did.

[1:25:39] And just be like, hey, I'm going to write something

[1:25:42] that either says what I'm thinking about, how I appreciate it, or is a question.

[1:25:45] And then I'm going to say something nice and get out like I was saying.

[1:25:48] It's like the same way that you get ahead more in a job

[1:25:52] by acting professional than in like doing big stunts

[1:25:56] that that people are going to notice, you know?

[1:25:59] Yeah, because Dan doesn't read the crazy letters.

[1:26:02] And those are for a special podcast called Dan McCoy's Crazy File.

[1:26:06] And we get so many letters.

[1:26:09] I don't want to like.

[1:26:09] The days of Dan having to ask for letters on the podcast are over.

[1:26:14] I don't want to.

[1:26:14] He was like, Mom, can you just write a letter and just change your name?

[1:26:19] I don't. Mom, last name.

[1:26:21] Like, oh, mom, you can't write that.

[1:26:24] Oh, no, mom, you're ruining my cast.

[1:26:27] Oh, I don't want to make it sound like I'm like big timing, everyone.

[1:26:31] But like we get a lot of letters at this point.

[1:26:34] So it's what you're saying is letters.

[1:26:37] We get letters from lots and lots of letters.

[1:26:41] Letters, letters. Yeah.

[1:26:43] Copyright, Paul Schaefer.

[1:26:45] So I'm just saying that because like sometimes letters

[1:26:49] just get lost in the sea of other letters.

[1:26:52] So if you're really keen on

[1:26:56] being acknowledged on the show, maybe just

[1:26:59] keep trying, but follow the guidelines.

[1:27:02] Wow. What?

[1:27:04] No, that's fine.

[1:27:05] I don't think that that was laid down.

[1:27:06] I know. Judge Dredge. Sure. OK.

[1:27:10] That makes you Rob Schneider, do you?

[1:27:12] No. Armando Sante.

[1:27:14] Wait a minute.

[1:27:15] We need a bad guy, though.

[1:27:18] I'm the bad guy.

[1:27:20] What voice is that?

[1:27:21] Rob Schneider making copies.

[1:27:24] But I thought you were on the side.

[1:27:26] But I'm making fun of you.

[1:27:27] Oh, man.

[1:27:29] That's what it was like on the set.

[1:27:30] I'm sure. I'm sure.

[1:27:32] Hey, Rob, who am I making copies?

[1:27:34] Yeah, you know, I get it, Armand. Yeah.

[1:27:37] Oh, the Schneider Band.

[1:27:39] Before we move on.

[1:27:40] I forgot one one thing.

[1:27:42] June's cracking up his book bag.

[1:27:44] Oh, it's full of books and a thermos of soup.

[1:27:46] So there's one other note.

[1:27:49] Longtime listener.

[1:27:54] He literally pulled out his backpack, unzipped it

[1:27:56] and then pulled out a folded piece of paper.

[1:27:59] It was like he was finding a treasure map.

[1:28:02] A bottle washed up on shore while Dan was talking,

[1:28:05] and he pulled out the note.

[1:28:06] Long subject line.

[1:28:08] Goonies never die.

[1:28:10] Long time.

[1:28:12] That's the secret of Blackbeard's Cave.

[1:28:16] Long time. Get Tintin in here.

[1:28:19] That's a secret.

[1:28:22] No, no, get Tintin and the Duck, the Duck Brothers.

[1:28:25] We're going to have we're going to find this one out.

[1:28:27] I goes, Hello, Peaches.

[1:28:29] Longtime listener. First time gifter.

[1:28:31] I've been saving this gift for a couple of months now

[1:28:33] as I waited for Shocktober to arrive.

[1:28:35] And I'm also pretty lazy.

[1:28:36] But here you go.

[1:28:37] First, a little backstory, though.

[1:28:39] Before I started listening to your podcast, Philadelphia,

[1:28:41] I was born and raised before I started listening to your podcast.

[1:28:45] I thought I was a weirdo

[1:28:46] for my adolescent affection for the Puppet Master series.

[1:28:49] And then I heard you guys talk about them and the full moon catalog as well

[1:28:53] with some glee.

[1:28:54] And I thought if a rad dude like Stuart could like these movies,

[1:28:57] then maybe I wasn't as much of a weird kid as I saw it has really pulled

[1:29:01] the wool over the podcast listening audience's eyes.

[1:29:04] But they think he's no longer are the creations of Andre is too long

[1:29:09] the subject of mockery, Elliot, but rather something to be celebrated

[1:29:15] clutched close to one's breast.

[1:29:18] So thank you, fellas.

[1:29:19] You started slowly turning into Werner Herzog by the end of it.

[1:29:23] So for the gift you gave me of making me feel less odd about my childhood,

[1:29:26] I present you with three figures from the infamous Puppet Master series,

[1:29:30] one for each of you.

[1:29:31] Please say at least one of them's Leach Woman for Elliot.

[1:29:36] For Elliot, I present Jester for obvious reasons.

[1:29:40] Oh, yeah, dude.

[1:29:41] A late addition to the catalog.

[1:29:45] Stuart, I present Torch,

[1:29:47] since he's the idea to hunt bears with a flamethrower.

[1:29:50] And he's like the creepy German dude.

[1:29:53] And though Andre is too long fought the Nazis.

[1:29:55] Oh, yeah. And for Dan, Dan got the best one.

[1:29:57] Six shooter because he has six arms.

[1:30:00] Loves wearing a bandana.

[1:30:01] Yeah, just like Dan.

[1:30:02] You piece of shit.

[1:30:04] Six years, the best one.

[1:30:05] Full disclosure, I know Blade would have been the obvious choice for Dan

[1:30:09] being the pseudo-leader of the group and having a hook for a hand,

[1:30:11] but he's my favorite and I'm keeping him.

[1:30:13] Also, I'm pretty positive Dan and Elliot will just give theirs to Stuart anyway.

[1:30:17] So enjoy and display them prominently.

[1:30:21] You mean put them up in the Bar Hinterlands,

[1:30:23] which is having a great time with Hellbent.

[1:30:26] Which is going to have a great Halloween party here

[1:30:28] the night that this is released.

[1:30:31] Stuart, have you started a Flophouse gifts trophy wall at Hinterlands?

[1:30:36] Yeah, my Hall of Heroes?

[1:30:37] Yeah.

[1:30:38] So there's a giant penny that's got a big scratch on it like Two-Face.

[1:30:42] There's Robin's dead body.

[1:30:44] I don't think the penny was even from a Two-Face adventure.

[1:30:45] Robin's dead body.

[1:30:48] No, I have a lot of, I have many things, including an amazing,

[1:30:54] something that isn't even Flophouse related,

[1:30:56] a Extreme Teen Bible that is sitting on the shelf.

[1:31:00] Oh man, you got an Extreme Teen Bible.

[1:31:01] I have an Extreme Teen Bible.

[1:31:02] I can't say, maybe a cleric named Merle gave it to me.

[1:31:06] Who knows?

[1:31:08] And yeah, so I currently sitting on my bar is an intricately carved pumpkin

[1:31:16] with the visage of Myron, the titular head of the family,

[1:31:23] sitting on my bar and on the back of the pumpkin.

[1:31:25] Carved into the back are the words, which are chilling and terrifying,

[1:31:31] upset the head, and you're dead.

[1:31:34] That was put together by Hinterlands patron and Flophouse listener,

[1:31:40] Brad Pearson, which is great.

[1:31:42] Nice.

[1:31:44] So.

[1:31:45] Nope, Dan is finished putting all the equipment on Six Shooter.

[1:31:50] The removable Six Shooters into Six Shooters.

[1:31:53] In his little cowboy hat.

[1:31:54] Yeah, in his hat.

[1:31:57] So, thank you very much.

[1:32:00] That's the thing, dude.

[1:32:01] If I'm going to fucking Westworld, that's what I want to be.

[1:32:04] I don't want to be some fucking clown named Stuart.

[1:32:06] Give me extra arms, robots.

[1:32:09] I don't know if that's how Westworld, the concept, works.

[1:32:12] I don't know, dude.

[1:32:12] Dr. Octopus made extra arms for himself.

[1:32:15] You're right.

[1:32:16] That's foolish of me not to combine those.

[1:32:17] Thank you.

[1:32:19] But thanks again, Scott.

[1:32:20] Last name was held.

[1:32:21] These are lovely.

[1:32:22] Now we can move on to the next, the last segment after,

[1:32:27] now that I remembered that, which is recommendations of movies

[1:32:32] that you should actually watch instead of the gallows.

[1:32:36] I was going to remind you, don't watch the gallows.

[1:32:38] Don't watch the gallows.

[1:32:41] I'll go first.

[1:32:41] Don't do it.

[1:32:42] Because.

[1:32:42] Don't you do it.

[1:32:44] If that shows up on your computer mysteriously,

[1:32:46] just drag it into the recycle bin, hit recycle,

[1:32:49] then open that up, and hit empty trash.

[1:32:54] So I'll go first.

[1:32:56] Because I watched a movie that I actually really liked.

[1:32:59] I know that sometimes I recommend things.

[1:33:01] Oh, whoa, whoa.

[1:33:01] So you watched it.

[1:33:03] What kind of plane was it that you watched it on?

[1:33:05] Was it a train?

[1:33:06] An automobile?

[1:33:07] I watched it at the New Brooklyn Alamo Drafthouse, which was a very nice movie.

[1:33:13] Brag, brag, brag.

[1:33:14] How was it?

[1:33:15] Incredibly humble brag, because it's just a movie theater.

[1:33:18] Because anyone can just go there.

[1:33:19] Yeah, it's open to the public.

[1:33:20] Yeah, but you went early, right?

[1:33:21] Didn't you go early?

[1:33:22] Yeah, during the soft opening.

[1:33:23] But if anyone happened to know that it was there.

[1:33:25] Did anybody take, did any paparazzos snap your fucking picture, dude?

[1:33:30] No, but I talked to our friend Christina, who

[1:33:32] is the programmer there at the Alamo Drafthouse.

[1:33:36] Who is likened to an angel, for she has organized many Flophouse screenings.

[1:33:41] Yes.

[1:33:41] Yeah, that's true.

[1:33:42] But I watched the Park Chan-wook movie, The Handmaid.

[1:33:47] Whoa, I can't wait to see that.

[1:33:49] Which was two and a half hours that flew by as quickly as the gallows.

[1:33:55] Is it because of the girl-on-girl erotica?

[1:33:58] There was certainly girl-on-girl action, if that's your thing.

[1:34:03] Which is definitely yours, based on previous recommendations.

[1:34:08] You recommend one blue is the warmest color.

[1:34:11] And what was that other one about the sub-dom relationship?

[1:34:14] What?

[1:34:15] Purple of the velvet robe, or something like that.

[1:34:17] Oh, yeah.

[1:34:17] Duke of Burgundy?

[1:34:18] The Duke of Burgundy.

[1:34:19] Yeah.

[1:34:19] Sure.

[1:34:20] All right, well.

[1:34:21] You recommend two?

[1:34:22] And what was that other one with the?

[1:34:25] Bound, basically?

[1:34:27] You recommend the website, We Live Together.

[1:34:30] And suddenly, you're just a fan of lesbian erotica.

[1:34:34] I don't think they do live together.

[1:34:35] Yeah.

[1:34:37] But this is a tale of, there's a Korean handmaiden

[1:34:40] who goes to live with a Japanese woman to be her serving girl.

[1:34:46] And it becomes clear that there's more going on

[1:34:52] than meets the eye.

[1:34:53] That's robots in disguise.

[1:34:56] It's not a spoiler, because it comes in the first five

[1:34:59] minutes of the movie that she's there

[1:35:02] as part of an elaborate grift on this Japanese woman.

[1:35:06] But in the course of performing this grift,

[1:35:11] she falls in love with the woman that she's there to serve.

[1:35:15] First rule, don't fall in love.

[1:35:18] But this movie takes part in.

[1:35:20] What's the second rule?

[1:35:21] Don't talk about Fight Club.

[1:35:23] And what's the third rule?

[1:35:25] Stop, drop, and roll.

[1:35:28] OK.

[1:35:29] This movie.

[1:35:31] I mean, those are all pretty easy to follow.

[1:35:33] This movie unfolds in three parts.

[1:35:35] And each part is from a different perspective

[1:35:42] and provides new light on things that we've seen already

[1:35:48] while providing new information.

[1:35:51] And it's not too much of a spoiler

[1:35:54] to say that the original part of the movie

[1:35:58] is just one tiny part of what's really going on.

[1:36:01] And the movie gets twistier, and kinkier, and sexier,

[1:36:06] and more violent, and more interesting as it goes along.

[1:36:13] So I really recommend The Handmaiden.

[1:36:17] I would be surprised if it doesn't end up

[1:36:18] being one of my favorite movies of the year.

[1:36:21] So that's my recommendation.

[1:36:23] Fellows?

[1:36:24] Oh, wow.

[1:36:25] Throwing down the gauntlet with a genuine recommendation

[1:36:28] and not some bullshit you just happen to watch.

[1:36:30] Yeah, I'm amazed.

[1:36:31] That was good work, Dan.

[1:36:32] Good work.

[1:36:33] So I'm going to recommend a movie I saw recently

[1:36:35] that I really liked called Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

[1:36:39] Oh.

[1:36:41] Written and directed, no, directed and adapted

[1:36:44] by Taika Waititi, who made What We Do in the Shadows

[1:36:50] and is making Thor Ragnarok.

[1:36:54] Elliot?

[1:36:54] I didn't know he was doing Thor Ragnarok.

[1:36:56] Yeah.

[1:36:56] Which somehow involves World War Hulk and, not World War,

[1:36:59] Planet Hulk.

[1:37:00] Yeah, because Hulk's in it.

[1:37:02] It's cool.

[1:37:02] Don't worry about it.

[1:37:03] I mean, it'll make sense when I see it, probably.

[1:37:05] So Hunt for the Wilderpeople is a charming movie

[1:37:08] set in New Zealand about a kind of rebellious youth who

[1:37:14] is adopted by a family that lives

[1:37:17] kind of in the middle of nowhere.

[1:37:19] And after a variety of setbacks, he

[1:37:25] and the patriarch of that family end up

[1:37:29] living out in the bush.

[1:37:30] And having to, after a rocky start,

[1:37:33] they kind of get along and form a really great father-son

[1:37:38] relationship and friendship.

[1:37:40] And it's very funny.

[1:37:42] And it is charmingly made.

[1:37:46] And it's sad and great.

[1:37:48] I totally recommend it.

[1:37:50] I don't know how much of this is based

[1:37:52] on a love of the Lord of the Rings.

[1:37:55] So anything New Zealand-ish, I'm predisposed to liking.

[1:38:00] But you like other New Zealand things.

[1:38:02] You like other Peter Jackson things.

[1:38:04] And I also like the fact that the movie

[1:38:06] stars a certain Sam Neill.

[1:38:09] He's someone I wish I saw in Stuff Moral.

[1:38:11] Great.

[1:38:11] So you should totally get.

[1:38:13] I think, I really think you would enjoy Hunt

[1:38:15] for the Wilderpeople, Elliot.

[1:38:18] It sounds really good.

[1:38:19] It has a certain, it has elements of charm

[1:38:23] that I get out of a Wes Anderson movie.

[1:38:26] But I feel, I don't understand, I can't really put my finger

[1:38:30] on why I like it.

[1:38:31] Like, a lot of things that I criticize Wes Anderson movies

[1:38:35] for, I forgive in Taika Waititi's movies.

[1:38:40] So I can't really explain it.

[1:38:42] But it's very charming and carefully crafted.

[1:38:47] But it still feels human, where I feel like Wes Anderson

[1:38:50] movies are a little too.

[1:38:53] They kind of smother you.

[1:38:54] Like, you can't breathe in it.

[1:39:00] All right.

[1:39:01] I don't know if that makes sense.

[1:39:02] I like his movies.

[1:39:03] What are you going to do?

[1:39:04] Well, I think you're bad, is what I'm going to say.

[1:39:06] By saying you don't like those movies,

[1:39:08] you say that I who like them must be terrible.

[1:39:10] Yep, you are aligned with Randall Flagg, the man in black.

[1:39:15] And I'm on the forces of light, so you're fucked, dude.

[1:39:18] Hold on a second.

[1:39:19] What am I, the trash can man?

[1:39:20] Yep, and I'm Roland Deschain, baby.

[1:39:22] Oh, man.

[1:39:24] Just bring that hand of God down on the nuke now

[1:39:26] and end it for me.

[1:39:27] And Dan is part of my ca-tet.

[1:39:32] Which one am I?

[1:39:35] Is there like a little boy?

[1:39:38] I'll just be Stephen King.

[1:39:40] Is that OK?

[1:39:41] Yeah, why not?

[1:39:42] That's cool.

[1:39:44] What?

[1:39:45] It's a pretty good deal for you to be Stephen King.

[1:39:47] Yeah, you get to be Stephen King.

[1:39:49] I'm going to recommend a movie, and then I'm

[1:39:51] going to recommend an actual thing you can go to in person.

[1:39:53] But first, I'm going to recommend the movie.

[1:39:55] I mean, you can go to a movie.

[1:39:56] Yeah, your local library?

[1:39:58] Not this movie.

[1:40:00] I'm gonna recommend a movie called Lemura a child's tale of the supernatural

[1:40:04] this is a low-budget horror movie from the mid-70s 1975 and

[1:40:10] It's kind of like if

[1:40:13] Manos the hands of fate was not a terrible movie

[1:40:16] There's something about like there's a a very kind of amateurish low-budget

[1:40:21] Feel to it

[1:40:22] But it's such a strange kind of horror fairy tale of a movie about this girl is the daughter of a notorious

[1:40:29] gangster, but she's being raised by a minister and

[1:40:33] is incredibly pure and sings in the church choir, but she gets word one day that her father is sick and

[1:40:39] Dying and she needs to go see him because she still loves him even though she knows he's a gangster

[1:40:43] He's always been nice to her and almost from the instant. She leaves the house

[1:40:48] She's just encountering weirdos and creeps and monsters and because it's all part of a plot that

[1:40:54] Lemura the the titular vampire queen is

[1:40:58] Has concocted to get her into her clutches just because she has this

[1:41:03] attraction to her

[1:41:04] Maybe maybe for her purity who knows but there's like

[1:41:08] These hairy vampire where men that live in the woods who don't like the other vampires and at a certain point

[1:41:15] I was like, wait a minute

[1:41:16] It's kind of like I'm watching an underworld movie, but it's really creepy and weird and there's something genuinely

[1:41:23] Affecting about it. So you may not have the same mileage with it that I did but

[1:41:28] Lemura a child's tale the supernatural I found to be just like a really weird

[1:41:33] strange

[1:41:34] little

[1:41:36] Kind of cheapie horror movie that just has this weird fairy tale feel to it that I liked a lot on a totally different

[1:41:42] Note if you're listening to this podcast

[1:41:45] The day it's released I guess. Mm-hmm if it's before

[1:41:49] Tuesday November 2nd, it's a Tuesday, right?

[1:41:51] No, it's a Wednesday if this is before Wednesday, November 2nd, then my good friend former boss

[1:41:58] Important person in my career Rory Albany's Rory Albany is doing he has a new one hour of stand-up

[1:42:03] He's doing a show November 2nd at 9 30 p.m. As part of the New York Comedy Festival and

[1:42:09] I just want to spread the word about it because I'm excited that he has a new hour of stand-up and

[1:42:14] You should go see it

[1:42:15] It's part of the New York Comedy Festival

[1:42:16] If you can't go out and see it then try to fund in some way to see

[1:42:20] Lemura a child's tale of supernatural right after I watched that I watched the hunger

[1:42:25] which I had never actually seen and I found that their plots are similar in a lot of ways and that both are about kind

[1:42:31] Of like an ageless vampire queen who has it is is drawing another woman towards her for her own

[1:42:38] Desires and purpose only one of them has a lesbian scene between Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon

[1:42:42] Yes, but I liked Lemura more because the hunger I enjoyed watching the hunger for its ultra style

[1:42:49] But it's not very good

[1:42:51] And the story doesn't hang together and where and the Lemura story doesn't quite hang together

[1:42:55] But it feels like that's kind of built into it in a way

[1:42:58] It's not totally supposed to whereas the hunger there was a certain point

[1:43:01] I was like, I'm like two-thirds the way into this movie and I'm there hasn't been a lot of plot

[1:43:05] That's happened so far, but there's an awful lot of shots that could be in jewelry commercials. Yeah, so

[1:43:12] Those see Lemura and then if you feel like if you feel like a hot glossy lesbian erotica Dan go see the hunger

[1:43:19] Oh, I thought you were pitching Rory's

[1:43:24] Wow, that's for unabashed and one of a shit recommendation, yeah

[1:43:29] So there are a few things I want to quickly say before we go

[1:43:34] Number one, you should go to maximum fun org

[1:43:38] and

[1:43:39] Take a look at all the other maximum fun. There's a ton of great shows a lot of great show

[1:43:43] Oh, man, that one is so great the

[1:43:46] Dead pilot society you listen to it. I haven't listened to it. I just listen to Hodgman's episode only child. It is super great

[1:43:52] That's a brilliant pilot. Like that's really great. It's that's very much worth listening to. Yeah, it makes me I've been

[1:43:58] They make I've been telling Hodgman for a while now that he needs to like make that himself

[1:44:03] It's so good short film

[1:44:04] I only my only critique I'm glad it exists in some perform

[1:44:07] I only critique of that show is just be prepared to not want to listen to it on the bus or around other things and want

[1:44:13] To be able to listen to it and totally get into it fully cuz it's like watching a show. Yeah

[1:44:18] I also wanted to say like the old radio dramas, you know, we had to use our imagination

[1:44:24] We didn't just have it delivered to us in a picture

[1:44:27] People's gold in that their radio

[1:44:31] Give grandpa's pills people should go to the Flophouse YouTube channel

[1:44:38] Which is easily googleable

[1:44:40] And put in Flophouse YouTube and watch there's a new Tony ochre animation

[1:44:47] Featuring one Hallie Haglund. I want to see a ghost. It's a this new song the autumn I think

[1:44:54] So enjoy that in there as the autumn creeps towards its one month to left

[1:44:58] Yeah, and if you want to see more Tony ochre animations toss some money on his patreon page

[1:45:05] And lastly, I wanted to thank our silent audience tonight

[1:45:10] Paul and storm

[1:45:12] We had internet phenoms

[1:45:17] Would try to capitalize on their presence by having them on the podcast

[1:45:22] At the top that they were there we said shut up we said we do things a certain way here Paul and storm

[1:45:27] Just cuz you're more popular and successful than us doesn't mean you're gonna be on our dumb show

[1:45:32] They showed up and hung out watching this terrible movie and and Dan was like in his head like hmm

[1:45:39] Should I set up some more microphones?

[1:45:41] That's a lot of work

[1:45:43] Yeah

[1:45:52] Was not what happened my voice barely sounded like that I

[1:45:59] Would have to put down my drink

[1:46:01] And I don't want to do that

[1:46:04] Raising the drink to my mouth

[1:46:05] But before we go I wanted to ask our invisible audience Paul and storm whether they had anything that they wanted to plug

[1:46:17] Come up to the microphone

[1:46:21] Hello everyone, and I'd be the first to say

[1:46:31] I was just quoting. Yeah, we have literally been stifling our laughter for about an hour

[1:46:46] So shout out to my homeboy Merlin man cuz we're here and he's not ha ha

[1:46:52] Anybody else we want to oh, yeah, we

[1:47:01] Know we

[1:47:03] Since you asked we we help run an annual week-long

[1:47:09] comedy music festival

[1:47:12] Nerdcon cruise a funnier ball. Sorry. I mean it's late, and I've been drinking a lot of coca-cola

[1:47:18] We run an event you'd think that Pepsi is the funnier soda you we help run this events called Joko Cruz

[1:47:24] It's a week-long

[1:47:26] comedy music festival nerd cruise thing hosted by internet singer-songwriter Jonathan Colton

[1:47:32] It is there's a crap ton of people on it. You can go to Joko Cruz comm and see all of the

[1:47:39] Great musicians and comedians and authors and podcasters oddly enough. This podcast is not a podcast

[1:47:45] Oddly enough this podcast is not on it this year. It's because we're saving them for

[1:47:49] 2018 probably

[1:47:55] If we don't meet our quota this year we're bringing the flop house the next year you got you have some great max fun

[1:48:01] Representation this year. I know sawbones is gonna be on there. We have we got this

[1:48:06] Yeah, we got yeah, Justin and Sydney with sawbones. We got this with

[1:48:10] How Lebanon and Mark Gagliardi will be there

[1:48:13] Welcome to Night Vale. We just announced today is gonna be performing on there a bunch of great musicians Amy Mann Ted Leo

[1:48:20] John Roderick Jonathan Colton Paul and storm prior years John Hodgman has been on all except for one

[1:48:28] So that's useful that's useful information, yeah, it's John Hodgman adjacent I guess

[1:48:35] But there's a whole bunch of great

[1:48:37] We got Matthew Matthew Weiner creator of Mad Men is gonna be there this year

[1:48:47] Bunch of guy we had brew Baker Gail Simone

[1:48:50] Chelsea Kane a bunch of authors and comic book creators coming

[1:48:53] It's gonna be a really great time is no aspect of being a nerd that is not covered

[1:48:57] It is all represented and then and then it's all wrapped up on a cruise ship with fruity drinks and stops at place

[1:49:04] Where they're places where there are beaches you can go are taking over a Mexican town. We are yes

[1:49:08] You can go to Joko Cruz comm to find out more about that

[1:49:11] I like let's leave it as a mystery as far as how we're doing that

[1:49:17] There's a bunch of tape

[1:49:18] There's a bunch of tabletop gaming. There's gaming creators who come on and play test

[1:49:25] Maybe some movies maybe

[1:49:27] So Joko Cruz comm J. OCO Cruz

[1:49:30] Thank you for letting us plug this on your pocket this unpaid advertisement no problem

[1:49:37] What else do we do here Dan? Well at this probably sign off because we've gone because this is like 40 minutes longer than the movie

[1:49:45] was yeah, but

[1:49:47] another Shocktober's come to an end and

[1:49:50] it's always a sad time time to pack up the rattling chains and

[1:49:54] Just oil the hinges on that squeaky door

[1:49:57] Put the ghosts to bed and

[1:50:00] the wolf man so he's just a regular dude. Just grab a broom and say hush now boogans

[1:50:05] I'm gonna put you back under the porch where you belong. File down the

[1:50:09] vampire's teeth and glue the leaves back on the trees. And just set that mummy on fire.

[1:50:16] Because he's got dog poop wrapped in it or something? Put him on a doorstep?

[1:50:20] Yeah. It's an antiquity you're destroying. It belongs in a museum. It's a valuable

[1:50:27] artifact of human civilization. And his dick is a totally good sex aid.

[1:50:34] Why is it all dicks and wieners with you? I don't know dude. I think I'm going through something.

[1:50:39] Well while we untangle Stuart's phallic obsession you guys should...

[1:50:47] That sounds like a Cinemax movie where they're not even trying.

[1:50:51] Phallic obsession. All right. We know what we're getting with this one.

[1:50:56] It's both too highbrow and too lowbrow somehow.

[1:51:01] Tagline untangle the web. Starring Stuart and Elliot and Dan in co-starring but very interesting roles.

[1:51:08] What I'm trying to say is thanks for listening. We'll catch you next time.

[1:51:15] Good night everyone. I've been Dan McCoy. Oh yeah I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:51:21] And untangling Stuart's issues. I'm Elliot Kalin. See you later.

[1:51:28] Yeah that's the audience. No you ruined it.

[1:51:38] Sean Connery as Jumbotron.

[1:51:44] He used to do a bit for the Daily Show where Sean Connery has Alzheimer's and he thinks he

[1:51:49] played every movie role. Oh that was when I played Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men.

[1:51:55] You can't handle the truth I said to myself as Tom Cruise in the same film.

[1:52:03] Never forget when I played the raptor in Jurassic Park. I was a clever girl.

[1:52:11] Yeah. Are we doing one of those intros tonight on the Flophouse? Yeah we are.

[1:52:14] Blobbity Bloobity. Perfect. We don't need to do one now.

[1:52:22] Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.

[1:52:27] Do you live in the fictional city of Chicago? Do you love amazing podcasts like Max Fund's

[1:52:34] own Lady to Lady, Minority Corner and Bullseye? Do you enjoy insightful interviews with talented

[1:52:41] actors and comedians like Dwayne Kennedy and Andre Royo? Don't miss your chance to be part

[1:52:46] of podcast history by attending the first ever Chicago Podcast Festival. Lady to Lady and Bullseye

[1:52:52] take the stage on November 17th and Minority Corner performs on November 18th. Tickets are

[1:52:58] on sale right now. Visit Maximumfund.org for more information and to grab your ticket today.

[1:53:05] Right now!

Ep. #216 - The Gallows

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