Ep. #221 - Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Batman v. Superman, Dawn of Justice.

[0:05] The movie that dares to ask and answer the question,

[0:09] what's the proper place for a battle of titans between a man of steel who represents all of our best

[0:15] and a man of the night who fights for justice?

[0:17] Answer, a filthy abandoned men's room!

[0:30] Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:51] Oh wow, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

[0:54] And over here, it's me, Elliot Kalin.

[0:56] Oh wow, Elliot sounds different.

[0:58] Hey guys, I decided I'd stop using that crazy high-pitched nerd voice I've been using all this time

[1:06] and use my own natural voice that you guys are used to hearing outside of the podcast.

[1:11] Oh, I mean, I appreciate it. I'm sure the listeners appreciate it.

[1:14] It's a little bit like getting a smooth chocolate bath in your ear.

[1:18] Gross.

[1:20] And up to this point, I decided the listeners weren't worth it.

[1:24] But you know what? If you've stuck with it this long, hear my natural voice.

[1:30] Wow, there's a little bit of a southern twang there, too. Southern New Jersey, I'm assuming.

[1:34] Well, no, I grew up in New Orleans.

[1:37] Oh wow, the Big Easy.

[1:38] The Big Easy, we call it.

[1:40] You know, when my grandmammy was making gumbo on a voodoo stew pot, Mardi Gras, Bourbon Street Jazz.

[1:47] What's some other New Orleans stuff?

[1:51] Crawdaddy's.

[1:53] Beignet.

[1:55] Beignet Quadrilles, is that what they dance there?

[1:57] Beignet's.

[1:59] Beignet's a donut.

[2:03] Beignet.

[2:05] For these beignets.

[2:06] Not even a joker. Nope.

[2:09] Dan, oh, Dan, that joke knocked the cool right out of my voice.

[2:15] Now I'm back to sounding like this.

[2:17] It reminds me of the online commenter who was like, why does that guy put that fake voice on?

[2:23] Oh, the online commenter? As if that was one person who asked that?

[2:27] Hell, I think Elliot's wife, Danielle, has asked that question.

[2:31] Okay, that's too harsh.

[2:33] Okay, I'm sorry.

[2:34] What, it's too harsh to assume that she listens to our podcast?

[2:41] Oh, Stu.

[2:42] Okay.

[2:43] It's funny because it's true. She doesn't know what this is about.

[2:45] So it's 2017, guys. Not your daddy's year.

[2:49] And so we watch Not Your Daddy's.

[2:51] I mean, considering.

[2:52] Literally, not the year my daddy was born.

[2:54] Wait, what?

[2:56] So now we're watching Not Your Daddy's superhero movie, Bats and Supes, Dawn of Justice.

[3:01] What a smooth segue. But first, Dan, what do we do on this podcast?

[3:04] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[3:07] And Stuart, you already mentioned, what's the movie we watched?

[3:10] Well, see, this is Not Your Daddy's podcast.

[3:15] Stuart's just been doing this all night with everything.

[3:17] He's, like, took a sip of his beer.

[3:19] He's like, this is Not Your Daddy's beer.

[3:21] Walks off, entering the bathroom.

[3:23] Time to take Not Your Daddy's poop.

[3:26] Of course not. That'd be crazy.

[3:28] Keep it in a Ziploc bag and stuff it in my pocket?

[3:31] Yep. Just dump it in the toilet.

[3:33] And how did I get it? Did I trick him into shitting into a bag?

[3:37] I don't know.

[3:38] I don't know why your dad has you taking care of his poop disposal.

[3:41] No, he said your dad. Your dad, Dan.

[3:43] This is certainly my daddy's shit.

[3:47] That's how matter works, Dan.

[3:49] It can neither be created nor destroyed, even poop.

[3:52] So you're saying that because you're the spawn of your dad,

[3:55] your poop is inherently your daddy's poop.

[3:58] Yep.

[4:01] So, yeah, I mean, if you were to – I'm assuming if you took a DNA sample.

[4:05] Nope.

[4:06] That would be the same.

[4:08] Not at all.

[4:09] Not in the least.

[4:10] I'm not Pauly Perrette, the character from NCIS, the goth girl.

[4:16] Can't say I know the names of any of the characters on NCIS.

[4:19] Come on, dude.

[4:20] All I know about the world of NCIS is if two people use a computer keyboard, it types faster.

[4:26] Okay, well, let's move on.

[4:28] So we watched Batman v. Superman, Dawn of Justice.

[4:32] A movie that was, I guess, much hyped up when it came out, right?

[4:36] Everybody was pumped.

[4:38] Sure.

[4:39] It was the sequel to Man of Steel, a movie I have yet to see.

[4:42] And I really didn't like.

[4:44] I saw the commercials for Man of Steel, and I said,

[4:47] I guess I'll have to see that to stay current in the nerd discussion, debate.

[4:52] And then I said, I know I'm not going to like it, so I'm not going to see it.

[4:57] Yeah.

[4:58] And I didn't, and I never regretted it.

[5:00] Man of Steel was one of those movies.

[5:02] It saved you from talking to all those nerds.

[5:04] Which was also nice.

[5:06] When I did talk to them, I could talk to them about Dune or something I like.

[5:10] Brandon Graham's Prophet, something good.

[5:12] Oh, and the final book comes out next week.

[5:14] Sorry to date the podcast, guys.

[5:17] People will listen to it and be like, oh, the days of yore when we were expecting Prophet Earthwar to come out in 3017.

[5:27] I'll know exactly when.

[5:29] Because they'll be dating it.

[5:31] They'll be dating this as year zero BPEW before Prophet Earthwar.

[5:37] BPEWTPB because it's already been out in individual issues before Prophet Earthwar trade paperback.

[5:43] And next year will be one BPEWTPB and so forth.

[5:48] And they'll literally be dating it because in the future you'll be able to date a podcast.

[5:51] That's the slippery slope.

[5:53] That's the slippery slope, Elliot, that this permissive society is allowing.

[5:59] We're going to have to fall pretty far down that slope to get to that point.

[6:02] Dan's working on a screenplay where somebody dates a podcast.

[6:05] It's kind of like Her or Ex Machina.

[6:09] I mean, the thing is, if it's like Her, then you could date the podcast by just listening to the podcast and talking back to it as if you're having a conversation.

[6:19] In a way, all you listeners are dating this podcast, I guess.

[6:22] And then you have to listen to our jibber jabber.

[6:25] And much like most dates, it's not going to get you anywhere.

[6:28] Dan reveals a deep understanding of human relationships just there.

[6:31] Yeah, that's what it is.

[6:32] Who's putting up with jibber jabber?

[6:34] Any sort of relationship with another humorist.

[6:37] With another humor?

[6:39] You know, bile, black bile.

[6:42] Yeah, phlegm, other stuff.

[6:47] Okay, so ladies' man Casanova Dan McCoy states that interacting with another human being is just putting up with jibber jabber.

[6:55] And Superman v. Batman kind of bears that out because for a movie that should be built around a fight between a guy in a red and blue circus costume and a man dressed as a flying rodent, there's a lot of jibber jabber in this movie.

[7:09] And startling amounts of no jibber jabber at all.

[7:14] I guess so.

[7:16] You were complaining early on that there were whole scenes where there was just no dialogue.

[7:20] That's true.

[7:21] But then the movie heard that complaint and reacted with too many scenes full of too much dialogue.

[7:25] They're like, oh, you want some dialogue?

[7:27] Here's Jesse Eisenberg.

[7:30] With the weird voice that this movie has.

[7:33] It's me, Zack Snyder.

[7:36] Oh, wow.

[7:37] Zack Snyder's a huge fan.

[7:39] You may remember me.

[7:41] I'm surprised you didn't refer to yourself by your actual title, visionary director Zack Snyder.

[7:45] It's me, visionary director Zack Snyder.

[7:49] He sounds a little like New Zealand.

[7:51] I throw the fish and they come back to me.

[7:55] Who's the guy from the B-52s?

[7:56] Is that Fred Schneider?

[7:57] Fred Schneider.

[7:58] Okay, so they're related.

[7:59] That's why.

[8:00] Oh, wait.

[8:01] Fred Schneider.

[8:02] Zack Snyder.

[8:04] We're talking about two human people, I think.

[8:07] Schneider's pretzels.

[8:08] It's all coming together.

[8:10] Look at that wall where I've got that yarn tacked up between headlines.

[8:13] Tom Schneider, of course.

[8:17] Batman 66 again.

[8:20] So let's quickly run through the plot.

[8:23] There's a lot of plot in this movie, but it's mostly nonsensical and incomprehensible.

[8:26] So this movie picks up in the ashes of Man of Steel.

[8:31] Well, it retcons Man of Steel so that Bruce Wayne was at the site of the climactic destruction of Metropolis.

[8:37] Bruce Wayne hears about it, takes a helicopter there, drives into the city so that he can save like three people, I guess, which is more than nothing.

[8:46] And he single-handedly lifts a girder off the crushed legs of his employee, which is crazy.

[8:52] Like that's insane.

[8:54] Well, the best part is that it isn't until he lands in his helicopter and the city is being attacked by alien spaceships and super beings that he calls up his – it was a –

[9:04] It's his headquarters there.

[9:06] Yeah, it was his business, and he's like, hey, guys, you can all leave.

[9:11] Get the day off.

[9:12] And the employees are all in there in the building looking out the window watching destruction, and then they're like – and the boss goes, OK, you can go.

[9:18] And they all start leaving.

[9:19] Clearly counting down to 5 o'clock.

[9:21] They're like, oh, shit.

[9:22] Guys, you're not fleeing that alien destruction until the Henderson report is on my desk.

[9:28] I need you to run those numbers.

[9:30] He's like, it's going to count as a sick day, but you can go.

[9:35] Be back in the rubble all the earlier the next morning.

[9:38] Call HR tomorrow.

[9:40] This is a personal day unless you work Sunday.

[9:44] Anyway, besides that.

[9:47] So we're given some lovely footage that calls to mind September 11th for everybody.

[9:55] Oh, yeah.

[9:56] Bruce Wayne walks into a big cloud of dust and ash so that he can save the life of a –

[10:00] little girl, and this makes him mad at Superman, because Superman, I don't know, did all this.

[10:06] Yeah, I mean, if anything, I mean, you know, maybe he can't be blamed for Zod coming down

[10:11] and beating shit up, but he can be blamed for maybe not leading Zod away from Metropolis,

[10:19] and just like, instead just throwing him into buildings and shit.

[10:22] At least throw him into the iZod store, which would at least be a play on words.

[10:28] Yeah, everyone would be delighted by that.

[10:30] Yeah, if he came walking out covered in iZod clothes.

[10:33] And those little alligators, oh, that's Lacoste, never mind, what does iZod have?

[10:37] I was gonna say he gets bitten by all the little alligators on the clothes, but that's

[10:42] Lacoste clothing.

[10:43] Oh.

[10:44] Mm-hmm.

[10:45] Lacoste is French for crocodile.

[10:48] French for Lacoste.

[10:50] Oh, sure.

[10:52] Now, Batman is mad.

[10:54] Bruce Wayne is Batman.

[10:55] What?

[10:57] Sorry, Dan, I hate to bring it to you this way.

[10:59] I've got to call the newspapers.

[11:00] We're given a pretty quick rundown of the Batman backstory a little bit, just like a

[11:07] little bit of his origin, which is fine.

[11:09] We don't need a ton of it.

[11:10] No, no, no, but here's the thing.

[11:11] It's presented as a non-linear silent tableau, the kind of thing Zack Snyder loves, of his

[11:17] parents being killed in a mugging, and then him finding, this is a scene from what?

[11:21] Batman Year One, or is it Dark Knight Returns?

[11:23] I don't remember.

[11:24] He finds the cave full of bats, and they swirl around him.

[11:27] Yeah, as he runs away from the funeral.

[11:29] And at first he's scared, but according to the movie, the bats are flying around at such

[11:35] an enormous speed that the wind velocity of it lifts him into the air and out of the hole,

[11:41] like there's some kind of blast of air underneath him, but it's slowly lifting him.

[11:47] Why do we fall, Mr. Bruce?

[11:51] It's like, it's such a, and I guess a lot of the movie is the visual theme.

[11:57] You guys missed it.

[11:58] Michael Caine was just here doing his line.

[11:59] Oh, I missed it.

[12:00] Oh, wow.

[12:01] Sorry.

[12:02] Sir Michael, are you still here?

[12:03] I was just doing my line.

[12:06] Wow.

[12:09] Really?

[12:10] Are you doing an impression of somebody else, Michael Caine?

[12:14] The one line you're known for.

[12:16] I just stopped by and did my line.

[12:18] Just doing the most famous Michael Caine line.

[12:21] Why do we fall, Mr. Bruce?

[12:24] People ask me all the time, why do we fall, Mr. Bruce?

[12:27] Alfie?

[12:31] I told you he's the only supposed to blow the why do we fall, Bruce?

[12:36] Okay.

[12:38] So anyway.

[12:39] Got that out of my system.

[12:40] The visual themes in this movie are people flying, angel wings, bat wings.

[12:45] Yeah.

[12:46] Done and done.

[12:48] Superman is being treated as a sort of Superman, like a god who's saving people all the time.

[12:54] And that makes certain people uncomfortable.

[12:56] Specifically, certain senators and also Lex Luthor, played by Jesse Eisenberg.

[13:02] Senators played by Holly Hunter.

[13:03] The whole cast is overqualified, tip to toe.

[13:06] Diane Lane's in it for a little bit.

[13:08] I think the ghost of Cary Grant showed up at one point in the big party scene.

[13:15] Hello, hello, Batman, you crazy Batman.

[13:19] It's the worst impressions we've ever done.

[13:23] It's a cavalcade of bad impressions.

[13:26] And then Humphrey Bogart walked in.

[13:28] It's me, Humphrey Bogart.

[13:31] Oh, wow.

[13:32] You sound a lot different in person.

[13:34] They use a lot of audio trickery to make me sound better.

[13:42] Hello, hello, it's me, Peter Lorre.

[13:44] Wow.

[13:45] Named after, what, a street car?

[13:47] Named after a truck.

[13:48] That's what a Lorre is.

[13:50] It's me, Katherine Hepburn.

[13:54] I make a real nice Philadelphia story for you.

[13:56] Just for you, eh?

[13:58] We get on a gold pond, eh?

[14:00] You old poop.

[14:05] That's what she says in it.

[14:08] We bring up a baby just for you.

[14:10] The last ethnic slur we can do, everybody.

[14:16] So, yeah, we got some baths and soups.

[14:18] We don't really see much Superman as his alter ego, Clark Kent.

[14:22] We get a little bit.

[14:23] Every now and then.

[14:24] We get a sense that he's a very bad reporter.

[14:26] And we get the feeling like Superman is definitely apart from humanity.

[14:31] Yes.

[14:32] Even the scenes where he's like, there's a montage of him saving people and preventing disasters.

[14:39] But it's shot very darkly.

[14:41] And the music is ominous.

[14:43] Well, yeah.

[14:44] And the tone of the whole movie is dark, ominous.

[14:47] Except for, like, the last five minutes of the climactic action scene, basically.

[14:54] The tone of the movie is like, hey, the Superman-Batman movie, this is punishment that you're watching it.

[15:00] Like, this is homework.

[15:02] This is a hair shirt for you to wear, comic nerd.

[15:06] Hey, you know what?

[15:09] If you're watching a movie about a flying alien, a handsome flying alien, who's going to have a fist fight with a wealthy billionaire with a supercar, this is repentance for you.

[15:19] Like, you're atoning for something by watching this movie.

[15:22] And it's not going to be fun.

[15:24] No one's here to have fun.

[15:25] And if you start having fun, I'm turning the whole movie around.

[15:28] Me, visionary director Zack Snyder.

[15:31] Hey, guys.

[15:32] I'm back again.

[15:33] I'm back again with my hit film, Batman v. Superman.

[15:38] It's going out to Janine in San Diego.

[15:41] Here's Batman v. Superman.

[15:43] Coming at you live.

[15:45] Now, Clark Kent.

[15:46] We got a lot of differing Zack Snyder voices.

[15:49] Well, he's a visionary.

[15:50] He can do many things.

[15:51] But you're right.

[15:52] Like, before Superman saves someone, he likes to float above them, just looking down at them.

[15:57] As if to establish, I'm better than you, and I am deigning to save you.

[16:02] Like, this is a Superman.

[16:04] It almost feels like he's, like, weighing the scales.

[16:07] Yeah, this is a Superman who I think really gets off on the power he holds over other people, which is…

[16:13] At least the perspective of the viewers that he has.

[16:15] Yes.

[16:16] I mean, which is a valid characteristic for a superhero character.

[16:20] It's an interesting way to look at it.

[16:22] Like, a character who is really, like, feels like a kind of…

[16:26] does feel a sense of kind of sinister empowerment by the fact that he can save people.

[16:30] And he gets to choose whether to save them.

[16:33] But it's not the traditional view of Superman, which is as, like, the best guy in the world who just loves saving people and doing stuff.

[16:40] The Superman in this movie is often very late to saving people and very choosy.

[16:45] Like, he'll fly around the world to save a girl from a burning building.

[16:49] But if a bomb goes off in the Capitol building and he's standing right there, he just kind of leaves afterwards.

[16:57] Like, he is not a Superman who, like, loves saving people.

[17:01] He kind of does it begrudgingly, you know.

[17:03] But anyway…

[17:04] Yeah, and he moves very, very slow and then super-duper fast.

[17:07] At the same time, Clark Kent is obsessed with this Batman story in Gotham.

[17:12] There's some kind of vigilante who's beating up…

[17:14] He seems to assume right off the bat that Batman is beating up mostly poor people, which…

[17:18] The movie doesn't quite bear out, and I don't know why Superman…

[17:22] why Clark Kent gets that assumption.

[17:24] Well, it's kind of weird.

[17:25] They put a little bit of effort into establishing Bruce Wayne's backstory, but not really Batman's backstory in a way.

[17:33] Yeah.

[17:34] Because they just immediately, unless I missed something, which could have happened,

[17:38] they immediately throw us into a situation where some police are responding to something,

[17:43] only to find, like, a slave ring, like a women's slave ring, and some baddie that Batman has chained to a…

[17:52] A radiator.

[17:53] And then Batman's hanging from the ceiling.

[17:55] And that he chained to a radiator and then burned a bat symbol into with a brand.

[17:59] And that's apparently not the first one he's done that to.

[18:02] That's his calling card.

[18:03] You know, it's called publicity, Elliot.

[18:05] You've got to get it out there.

[18:06] So you've got to make the…

[18:07] I mean, literally, it's a brand.

[18:08] He's got to get his brand out there, and what better way than literally branding people?

[18:12] So there's a…

[18:13] Now that Izod is through the roof.

[18:16] And there's this great scene of him hanging in the corner, and the cop sees him and starts blasting shotguns at him, and he, like, skitters away like he's one of the demons from Legion or something.

[18:27] But the implication is – I mean, but the weird thing is that – so Clark Kent seems to be mad that there's this vigilante on the loose, and the police in Gotham seem to be okay with it and aiding and abetting him.

[18:39] The policeman in this scene, he doesn't know what the hell he just saw.

[18:42] And they got – I was worried they were going to do what the first Tim Burton Batman movie did where Batman is clearly a man in a suit, and he picks a guy up with his own hands and says, I'm Batman.

[18:53] And then when the guy is arrested, he's like, it was a giant bat.

[18:56] A giant bat attacked me.

[18:58] And it was like, a giant bat who had arms and like a face, and he talked to you and said the word man in his name.

[19:04] He should have been like, it was some sort of leather daddy who attacked me.

[19:07] Yeah, you don't know what kind of bats this guy has seen, Elliot.

[19:10] But there's like a real – it's true.

[19:12] That's a good point.

[19:13] You don't know what his life experience is.

[19:15] I'm not a corruptorist.

[19:16] I don't know what a bat is really like.

[19:18] All I know is the Bat Gremlin from Gremlins 2, and that's all I need to know.

[19:21] There's a lot of –

[19:23] They did those special effects in broad daylight, Elliot.

[19:26] That Bat Gremlin is amazing.

[19:28] I agree.

[19:29] Look, it's great.

[19:30] One of my favorite things about that movie is when Dick Miller is fighting the Bat Gremlin and New Yorkers are just walking by and not paying attention to it.

[19:38] Even as a kid, I loved that about it.

[19:41] I remember very well pointing that out to a babysitter who had to watch Gremlins 2 with me, and I was like, I like that they just – they've seen everything.

[19:49] They don't care.

[19:50] The babysitter I think was doing her homework or something.

[19:52] Anyway, there's a lot of kind of torture and rough imagery in this.

[19:57] The epitome of it being –

[20:00] What I think is the lowest point of the movie at the very end spoiler alert

[20:04] We didn't have it anyway late later in the movie Superman's mother has been kidnapped

[20:08] And he's confronted with a Polaroid of her gagged with the word witch written on her forehead

[20:13] And it looks like maybe she's been beaten

[20:15] I don't know and it's like this is not what I want to see and it looks like she's like cried with her mascara

[20:23] Yeah, and I'm like I don't know if my Kent would have put on some mascara before shift at the

[20:30] Diner, so it feels like somebody put it on her before

[20:34] Diane Lane doesn't need the mascara is what you're saying. That's what I'm saying absolutely

[20:37] But yeah, it's there's a it's a this is a rougher, and I know this is a this is not your daddy's supermovie

[20:43] It's grim and gritty and whatever, but it's like a little it

[20:47] Superhero movie you what would your daddy's superhero movie be like the spawn movie it totally would be the spawn movie my dad

[20:53] He's a huge violator fan

[20:56] Fucking guys

[20:57] Violator, and he loves John Leguizamo, so he heard when he read in wizard that John Leguizamo was gonna play violators over the moon

[21:03] He bought the ticket ahead of time. Yeah, I think he cut out that page from wizard magazine

[21:08] He laminated it and then push pinned it to the wall of my parents bedroom

[21:12] My mother was not pleased no, that's a push pin hole in the wall come on

[21:17] Oh, and he had to take down a family photo

[21:20] Probably wondering why didn't he frame it and put it in its place. I don't know my dad's crazy

[21:26] Kind of like his idol the violator

[21:31] In podcast land didn't see the coy looks

[21:35] So anyway Clark Kent doesn't like this Batman dude even though Batman's kind of doing the same thing Clark Kent's doing except you know more

[21:42] violent way

[21:43] Batman doesn't like Superman because he sees him as a threat to reality and humanity yeah, while I guess yeah

[21:49] I just want to take a moment though to

[21:51] Say that the movie has set up a perfectly valid

[21:55] Reason for Batman to not like Superman, you know, he's Superman destroyed a city. Yeah, he destroyed a city

[22:01] He's seen all the collateral damage that Superman can do but for the rest of the movie. He doesn't bring this up

[22:07] He just keeps bringing up like Superman has all these powers. No person should have that power

[22:13] Inherently if we think that he has as much power he could use this power against us

[22:17] So we have to preemptively get rid of the guy who has got power. It's like that's a terrible argument

[22:22] Lee well, they're they're groping towards trying to have some kind of philosophical

[22:28] Showdown between these two characters, but their ideologies and what they stand for are pretty

[22:33] messy and pretty blurry and like there's a I wish they had pulled it off because like one of the great things about

[22:40] like old comic books is when a

[22:43] Hero and a villain would be fighting each other and they'd be telling each other what they stand for and why it's incompatible

[22:49] like Stan Lee Jack Kirby books would do that a lot where Captain America and Baron Zemo would be like punching each other and they'd

[22:56] Be explaining why that what they stand for and like this movie wants to have that kind of in a more complicated

[23:02] Modern way, but it it never seems to be clear exactly what these characters

[23:05] I don't think they've hampered themselves by Man of Steel because like once you've made a movie

[23:10] Where Superman does do the things that he does in Man of Steel?

[23:14] Like you can't have the classic fight between Superman and Batman where it's like Oh

[23:18] Superman's a Boy Scout and Batman is Batman cuz Superman's already snapped a man's neck. Yeah, exactly

[23:25] Kryptonian man just because the clone of him we see later does not have a penis

[23:34] The man who should have received an Oscar nomination for premium rush, that's true cuz that movie was a premium rush

[23:41] I mean, it was we also managed to be both scary and hilariously pathetic and he said kid

[23:46] What's it to you with a straight face?

[23:48] We're as straight as a Michael Shannon face

[24:02] That's a small-town newspaper column

[24:04] Yeah, so, um

[24:06] The Harvest Festival is opening up in town in a week

[24:10] they're gonna have barbecue and

[24:13] Bunch of local bands are gonna play tickets cost

[24:17] $14

[24:18] in other local news

[24:29] He's in seasons he's in Shannonville, that's his hometown Shannon fell jazz fest

[24:33] Starting up once again, and I know I can't wait for it

[24:37] a lot of my favorite big names from the

[24:40] Springfield County area gonna be there. He's at least going over the local radio

[24:46] The jazz inators

[24:48] jazz bows

[24:50] It's vaguely racist swing jazzers. It's a jazz and set time of year again and poops when

[24:58] air gets a little chillier and

[25:00] leaves start to fall and there's a

[25:02] certain magic in the air

[25:06] So I thought I'd

[25:09] Give thanks

[25:11] Give my own. Thanks before Thanksgiving

[25:14] I know my Michael Shannon and my Moe the bartender and my dick Miller are all pretty much the same voice I think

[25:21] Okay. So meanwhile, this is seen that we skipped Lois Lane went to interview a terrorist in Africa

[25:25] And she got shot at by it's something happened where one of the terrorist men started shooting all the other terrorists

[25:32] Anyway, she was in trouble and Superman saved her luckily

[25:35] Her friend Jimmy Olsen gets shot in the face

[25:40] It's the second best shoot shooting to the head important to establish. This isn't your daddy's superhero

[25:46] So they killed Jimmy Olsen pretty early on. Why didn't he just use his watch phone and call Superman?

[25:52] That's why they killed him. I think yeah that watch found that leads to a storyline about

[25:59] Special futuristic bullets being used to make it appear as if Superman killed people in Africa

[26:05] So he'll get in trouble this storyline never fully makes sense

[26:09] I think in the extended version they extended that sequence quite a bit

[26:13] but yeah, but even but I mean the upshot is that Lex Luthor is

[26:17] Framing it to look like Superman killed a bunch of people in Africa

[26:20] But it like Superman just killed a lot of people in Metropolis

[26:25] So they're holding congressional hearings on like Superman killed these people in Africa

[26:28] Maybe and it seems bizarre that they even needed this extra reason Superman is already

[26:34] Should have ruined his good name so much before and also like

[26:38] They're postulating a world a non racist world where Americans care about people dying in Africa

[26:45] Yeah, well, that's the sad part. Yeah

[26:48] the

[26:49] meanwhile, there's a

[26:51] Female governmental representative from Kentucky Holly Hunter. Yeah, I

[26:56] Just don't I don't buy I don't buy our world would do that

[27:00] He's got so much sass. I mean, she's great, but I'm just not I mean Mitch McConnell's Democratic challenger in his last

[27:07] Like, you know, I know I'm just grouchy. Okay. I'm sorry guys

[27:12] To get into political and I don't like it Lex Luthor is and I'm just gonna say this

[27:18] What was take what was getting me through the movie for a certain extent because they have Jesse Eisenberg playing him at his most

[27:25] Manically irritating and Jesse they give Jesse Eisenberg these long nonsense gibberish speeches about God and man and power and Jesse

[27:33] Eisenberg is

[27:34] Jittering it up so much. He has so many acting tics and like I'm gonna tell you this part fast

[27:40] And then I'm gonna pause here and I'm gonna be loud all of a sudden

[27:43] And it is clear that he has such disdain for the words that are coming out of his mouth and I really appreciated that aspect

[27:49] Of it. Yeah. Well, it's it's one of the things that a lot of times when a movie

[27:54] First introduces a character and they're like, he's a super wealthy billionaire who's also super smart

[27:59] They at no point should have that character do anything that would make you believe that they are actually wealthy or smart

[28:06] No, that's true that like Lex Luthor. I mean he talks about science projects. His company is working on but

[28:13] But that doesn't like that's you never get a sense that he's a super Brainiac because he's not Brainiac

[28:18] And he doesn't have any charisma. No offense Jesse Heisenberg, but you're good at playing like losers Wow

[28:25] Why would he take offense to that?

[28:27] Good at it. I said he was good

[28:31] Actually, I would just I would say if you have seen end of the tour

[28:35] Uh-huh a movie that I was referring to what I just described his character type

[28:39] Yes, but he's like a charismatic asshole in that but I guess he's up against Jason Siegel's David Foster Wallace who is like an

[28:47] Awkward person like Jesse Heisenberg isn't playing the awkward person in that movie. He's playing the gut the less awkward character

[28:54] Hmm, I don't know if I would agree with you on that, but let's move on. There's no bats or soups in that movie

[29:00] That's true. There's no soup and there's no bat

[29:03] but again, except for the bowl of bat soup that they enjoyed in another in

[29:07] Another muddy motivation in a movie full of muddy motivations famous blues musician muddy motivation

[29:25] Can't really tell you

[29:30] Not sure myself my baby don't love me

[29:34] Dan and Annette didn't really say why

[29:39] But he just like how your music is just Dan's name over and over

[29:46] Yeah, no, but like the code the Bible code

[29:50] There's a prophecy in there. Is that a new book you're writing? It's gonna sell a lot of copies. Mm-hmm. People love Bibles

[29:55] They love codes. They love that. Mm-hmm. Well, the point is Lex seems to be mad

[30:00] Superman just because he's got superpowers like that seems to be the yeah, the whole it's a classic nerd versus

[30:07] something where like

[30:09] He either felt stymied like he felt he couldn't move forward with a project or like

[30:15] Superman was getting a little too close to revealing that he's

[30:19] Like a bad guy. Yeah, exactly, but even if it was or if he was just like I

[30:24] Am bored with all of this I want

[30:29] Like I want to be Superman

[30:31] I wish that they had presented it would have been so easy for them present Lex Luthor as just

[30:35] this

[30:37] like young rich

[30:40] like

[30:41] bored

[30:42] Asshole who wants to see these two crazy guys fight like at that point?

[30:46] Then you could be saying you could be doing a sucker punch in a better way

[30:50] We were saying something about the audience, you know

[30:52] The audience just wants to see these guys punch each other no matter even though they're characters

[30:57] They could have personalities and he's like, this is the show. I want to see I want to see Superman

[31:03] Fighting Batman if that was his motivation for the whole movie. I would like this is a much better stronger movie instead

[31:10] he gives these bizarre speeches about

[31:13] Gods do this and men do this but demons do this and he seems to be already working on

[31:19] Anti-superman technology before the movie starts like he's already trying to frame Superman before we've even met him in the film

[31:26] but it would be such a better I would just love it if he is this he's this billionaire and

[31:32] He doesn't he's run out of things to do. Mm-hmm, and he just sees a news report

[31:37] He has two TS of two TVs in his house

[31:39] And one of them is showing a news report about Superman and one's showing news report about Batman and he just starts thinking. Mm-hmm

[31:45] I want to see those guys fight and he even that's all the motivation isn't even the character who attends a bare-knuckle

[31:52] brawl in the basement of some

[31:54] Windows so that he can clone the phone of a Russian guy who's working for so it's like there's this

[32:00] The movie seems at times to think that it's like sneakers

[32:03] Or like three days of the Condor where there's like or the parallax view

[32:07] there's some kind of conspiracy that's got to be uncovered and

[32:10] It just kind of winds around in circles until it gets to the obligatory point where the characters fight each other

[32:15] And what we can say? Oh, I was just saying that if they were if he had that fighting motivation

[32:20] I would love it. If it was like in trading places where he just bet someone like a dollar. Yeah, who was gonna win?

[32:26] Like that would be that would be such a there's something

[32:30] Intriguing about a villain doing that because he has no stake in anything that's going on except that it's gonna entertain him

[32:37] I mean, he's basically I guess arcade at that point

[32:41] I mean sure, maybe arcade steps through a portal. He leaves the Marvel and the MCU into the distinguished competitions world

[32:48] Yeah, well, it was the character with characters named access

[32:52] Who came from the DC Marvel crossover and he could travel between both worlds and he was co-owned by both companies

[32:59] I think it was access. That's how he so he pulls our

[33:03] He was kind of a lame girls on the IP law

[33:07] He's like, uh, I've ensured that the rights to any story I'm in will be prohibitively complicated to reprint

[33:15] That's great

[33:15] So Lex Luthor also sets it up so that Bruce Wayne's

[33:19] Employee who lost his legs rides a wheelchair bomb into the Congress and blows up Congress

[33:24] Everyone some point they in the extended version of this movie

[33:28] There's they explained that his his wheelchair was lead lined which explains why Superman didn't see the bomb

[33:36] Oh, the movie just presents us with a lazy Superman who doesn't bother to look at anybody's wheelchairs. Mm-hmm

[33:41] I think Superman was feeling self-conscious because he was in his outfit surrounded by people wearing normal clothes

[33:48] He's like, oh we're doing this I thought we were all I thought this was oh you guys aren't dressing up

[33:54] I mean, I'd wear a suit to this but then we kind of obvious that I'm just Clark Kent. Oh, I shouldn't have said that

[34:10] Superman's doing like he parks his car someplace

[34:16] He gets to he gets to the movie theater just as they're putting the sold-out sign

[34:22] Movie he wanted to see so he goes. Oh boy fly the earth around

[34:26] so where we we get to the point where

[34:31] Superman is

[34:33] Superman has to meet like tries to do a showdown with Lex Luthor Lex Luthor has I mean we can jump over some shit

[34:41] Yeah, I mean we can jump over the car chase scene in which Batman kills like

[34:45] Soon

[34:47] Batman is constantly shooting and blowing people up or throwing cars at them

[34:51] Like and when he when he doesn't shoot them with things

[34:55] He's like shooting them with darts that are attached to rope or like whatever wires that he can like

[35:02] Flip them around and it's only later in the movie when Batman is punching a bunch of guys that we see them shoot him point-blank

[35:09] And his armor stops the bullets even a guy starts shooting him in the back of the head from point-blank range and he's fine

[35:15] It's just like wait a minute Batman. This was never a fair fight

[35:20] Was it like you were bulletproof? You didn't have to shoot all those guys

[35:23] You could just walk through the bullets and punch. He's so resilient. It almost makes me wonder

[35:28] Why is he mad at Superman? He's basically the same thing

[35:32] But he had to earn that muscle by picking up tires and dragging him with change

[35:37] A pretty amazing workout sequence

[35:40] So let's yeah, we'll skip over all the background

[35:43] We're also introduced to a mysterious woman who is playing a game of cat and mouse with Bruce Wayne over a flash drive

[35:50] And Lex Luthor finds Kryptonian technology and starts. I don't know whatever accessing it turning and creating a big monster

[35:57] And so at the end, so he sets he sets our two heroes at each other's throats kidnapped

[36:04] Wait, he kidnaps Superman's mom and says go kill Batman or I'm gonna kill your mom and Superman's first instinct is totally blasted with

[36:12] Eye lasers. Mm-hmm, and he's like wait if you kill me, you'll never find out. They'll kill him

[36:17] Well, he says if you kill me, they kill your mother. Mm-hmm

[36:19] So he Superman flies off and I'm going to fight Batman the thing that we are super excited about the name of the movie

[36:27] V Superman unless Batman is suing Superman. You're telling me that there's a fight

[36:32] so cut to

[36:34] Wonder Woman singing sitting at her laptop

[36:38] She is booted up a flash drive and she is opening files each file corresponds with a

[36:45] Upcoming movie in the DC Universe and we are greeted with like a little trick like a little teaser trailer

[36:50] You see three teasers in a row for the flash

[36:54] Aquaman and cyborg Aquaman is the lamest looking of them. I think since

[36:59] Since an underwater camera just pokes into the hole of a sunken ship and there's a dude with a beard sitting there

[37:05] That was out. He's like, yeah, he's like basically get out of here

[37:07] But he looks like folks is triton head. He looks for all the world like a guy who's sitting taking a shit

[37:14] And then he pokes his triton at them and then I guess flies away, I don't know

[37:18] Yeah, super fat everything in this in this world when it does things it causes a huge like ripple effect

[37:24] So for instance when the flash stops a crime in in the convenience store like all the lights

[37:31] lightning bolts shoot everywhere and cyborg seems to be made out of

[37:35] Super-science a human body and some kind of Hellraiser cube. Yeah, he's created by

[37:41] the guy from Terminator 2 who

[37:44] Arnold Schwarzenegger know the other guy

[37:47] Of the team

[37:52] No, I think I think it's Joe Morton because the actor for Morton Steakhouse, yeah

[37:57] So yeah, so it right before that. They're like, hold on. Let's delay. This is a tantric climax

[38:03] Yeah, which first we're gonna show you some teasers

[38:05] It's kind of like Batman V Superman is the free weekend

[38:09] Like the fight is the free weekend at that resort and this scene is the timeshare sales pitch. You have to hear

[38:15] You're gonna have fun. I'm like my pants are already off. Why are you edging me?

[38:23] Cuz I'm the edge from you too, oh, why do you think I got my name?

[38:34] They tug on your penis just enough just enough to keep you there but not enough to get you over

[38:40] But so finally once we've gotten through the preview of coming

[38:45] Once we've sat through all the excitement of a woman opening a laptop and watching some viral

[38:52] Watching a couple of trailers

[38:54] Well a couple trailers then slamming her laptop screen and discuss cuz I'm assuming she's worried about spoilers

[39:00] There's also this is a movie where characters are constantly learning about what's going on in the world through

[39:05] News through TV news just appearing and there's one woman at the Daily Planet office whose job seems to be to say

[39:11] Did you guys see this and point to the TV so they can find out what's that the reporters can find out what's happening in

[39:17] the world

[39:23] She's a real newshound

[39:26] We're gonna make you our lead aggregator

[39:28] Speaking of real people using their real names in this movie

[39:33] This movie is full of them and there but there was a scene that was deleted

[39:36] That's in the extended cut with you guys's former boss John Stew's to be now

[39:41] Let's say since this movie happens in a realistic world where people have super strong

[39:47] Super fast stuff and you can blow up huge buildings and smash them around with thousands of people dying

[39:53] And then they put a statue up in your honor. Well, I guess that's every military leader. Am I right? Oh, wow

[39:58] Kill one person

[40:00] kill a thousand person, you're a hero. Kill a million, you're a god. That's what that No Fear shirt said.

[40:04] Sure. Are we going to be reading Megadeth lyrics again?

[40:09] Because that's the best, because that's really the powerful thing about Megadeth songs is their racist, xenophobic lyrics.

[40:15] So they have all these scenes where Soledad O'Brien or Anderson Cooper or Nancy Grace or Andrew Sullivan or somebody who's just listed as

[40:26] Neil deGrasse Tyson.

[40:27] There's someone who's credited as international blogger.

[40:29] Neil deGrasse Tyson smelled some fucking dollars floating around somewhere, like chum in the ocean.

[40:34] He said, in space, no one can hear you selling out.

[40:37] There are all these scenes with people commenting.

[40:40] And it wasn't until Stuart and I were looking up what the scenes are on the extended version of this to see if it made the movie made any more sense.

[40:47] Nope.

[40:48] That it listed that there's, in the extended version, there's a scene where Jon Stewart is on The Daily Show complaining that Superman doesn't want to be American anymore.

[40:56] And I was like, oh, right. I wrote that.

[40:59] But like they asked Jon to do a scene in the movie and they were like, yeah, you want to write this?

[41:04] I was like, yeah, sure. I'll write a bunch of Superman jokes.

[41:06] But then the angle they gave us was that Superman has told the world he doesn't want to be considered just American.

[41:13] And so that was what the whole thing was about, was about Superman.

[41:17] You wear you're wearing red and blue and there's white.

[41:20] Right. Like that's the whole thing is about him, how American he is.

[41:26] It's not amazing, but in context, I can understand how it would make no sense because Superman renouncing his Americanism is never brought up ever in the movie.

[41:34] No.

[41:35] But how does it feel to have written something that wasn't as good as the movie we watched?

[41:39] I don't know if that's how I would put it.

[41:41] I can see why they cut it because it didn't make any sense.

[41:44] But I'm a little disappointed.

[41:46] But it's amazing how literally until I read that, I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot.

[41:50] I wrote a scene for a Superman movie.

[41:54] Well, what are you going to do?

[41:56] So if you're watching the extended edition and you see that scene, I worked on those jokes.

[42:00] Yeah, mail Elliot a check.

[42:02] He's not saying any other residuals from that.

[42:04] And don't put any limits on that check.

[42:07] Even if they had included it in the movie, I don't think I would have received residuals.

[42:10] No.

[42:11] Because that's just the way the system works, dude.

[42:13] The rich get richer.

[42:14] Just like years down the road when people are dating podcasts, you can point to this movie, point it out to your son and say, Sammy, I made that.

[42:23] But he's going to be watching that, you know, not his dad's Superman movie where Superman is just killing people with his dick.

[42:29] And then Batman is like I don't know.

[42:33] Also, I can't think of anything worse than that.

[42:35] So Batman is just that kryptonite gas all over Superman.

[42:39] And it's just that's such a Deadpool movie.

[42:43] So they have their big fight and it's not a terrible fight.

[42:47] I mean, the fact that it's not terrible is probably because they ripped a lot of it off of Dark Knight Returns.

[42:52] Yeah.

[42:53] Yeah.

[42:54] So, yeah, they get in a fight.

[42:55] It's not terrible.

[42:56] Oh, you know what?

[42:57] No, it does get terrible.

[42:58] It gets pretty terrible.

[42:59] It doesn't make sense.

[43:00] There's a lot.

[43:01] So at first Superman's beating the shit out of Batman and then Batman, whoa, he actually has pulled a fast one and is choking Superman with kryptonite gas, which makes Superman super weak.

[43:12] Batman then just starts pounding the shit out of him with his robo suit.

[43:15] And at that point it becomes Batman just beating the shit out of a regular person.

[43:20] Which part of me is wondering is, like, is Zack Snyder sitting somewhere like in the editing booth like, yeah, people are going to be fucking loving this.

[43:28] People hate Superman.

[43:30] I love Batman.

[43:31] That smug Superman.

[43:32] Superman hasn't done anything bad at this point in the movie.

[43:35] I mean, arguably he has been –

[43:37] He's complicit in the deaths of many, but he was trying to save the world.

[43:43] Yeah.

[43:44] That was collateral damage.

[43:46] Within this movie, I think he's only attempted to do good things.

[43:51] Yes, I think you're right.

[43:52] He is a little smug.

[43:54] He is a little smug.

[43:56] Dan's right, and that deserves being feared to death at the hands of a billionaire in a robo suit.

[44:02] By a mech man.

[44:03] A mech man.

[44:04] And Batman's saying, like, my parents taught me a lesson.

[44:08] I'm sure your parents taught you a lot of lessons about being good.

[44:11] Well, my parents taught me a lesson when they died.

[44:13] I'm going to teach you a lesson.

[44:14] He pulls down his pants and starts spanking me.

[44:17] You're like, why do you have to pull your own pants down before you start spanking me?

[44:20] It's the only way I can do it.

[44:23] So at this point, Superman's on the ropes, and Batman starts, like, picking up Superman and doing stuff.

[44:31] The whole time, the whole time it's like watching somebody try to complete a finishing move in Mortal Kombat.

[44:37] And they just can't get the combo.

[44:39] They're like, oh, you're just dancing around.

[44:40] Oh, no, you just punched me in the face and I died.

[44:42] Good one, dude.

[44:43] That was worth it.

[44:44] Thanks.

[44:46] But there's a part where they keep breaking through the floors of whatever abandoned –

[44:50] every movie in this – every building in this movie is abandoned.

[44:52] They're all abandoned.

[44:54] They're either –

[44:55] I have a statement about the housing crisis, Elliot.

[44:57] Every building in this movie is either blown up or abandoned.

[45:00] I have expected them to, like, bust into the warehouse that Hugh Jackman is driving the robot that's fighting Jackie.

[45:08] It feels that depopulated.

[45:09] And then Robert Downey Jr. and Don Cheadle from Iron Man 3 just run by, quipping and shooting people with handguns.

[45:16] That would be great because then I know they're on a loading dock, so I know I'm watching an action movie.

[45:21] You know, there's going to be a lot of empty crates getting smashed.

[45:24] Instead here –

[45:25] That's why Longshoremen have to, you know, have the powerful union because they're always –

[45:29] They're in danger.

[45:30] They're in danger all the time from, you know, rogue cops, superheroes.

[45:35] They're like, I'm allergic to Uzi bullets.

[45:38] Yeah, the Longshoremen's union has the best Uzi wound health coverage of any of the unions.

[45:46] They're like, wow, you're really good at sniffing out C4.

[45:49] Well, I was a Longshoreman.

[45:54] You're really good at detecting body armor underneath that guy's just regular T-shirt.

[45:59] So – but there's a part where they break through the floor, and Batman is just throwing Superman through broken-down urinals, and it's like, all right, guys.

[46:08] Not as exciting as Terminator 3.

[46:10] No.

[46:11] Stewart pointed out not as exciting as the Terminator 3 toilet fight scene, but also like that – so like the movie – so the Superman movie with Batman in it and Wonder Woman because this mysterious woman that Bruce Wayne has been flirting with is Wonder Woman.

[46:25] This Superman-Batman-Wonder Woman movie has found its level with a woman being possibly tortured and threatened with death and having witch scrawled on her head while she's gagged and two men punching each other in like a gross, dirty bathroom.

[46:42] It's like, all right.

[46:43] Thanks, Zack Snyder.

[46:44] Like, thanks, DC.

[46:45] Like, I guess that's – there's room for all sorts of storytelling with superheroes.

[46:49] You know, for kids.

[46:50] I mean not every superhero movie has to be a kid's movie, but like a Superman-Batman movie should probably be more kid-accessible than a grimy bathroom fight scene.

[46:58] If it's the tentpole movie of your franchise.

[47:00] Like this is supposed to be the Helen of Troy of DC movies, the movie that launched a thousand movies.

[47:08] I mean like – and then – but then they get – they're fighting and fighting and fighting.

[47:12] Well, Dan, what were you going to say?

[47:13] I'm just going to say that like literally like other than a bit of Jesse Eisenberg's performance, there's literally two jokes in this movie.

[47:19] There's not a lot of jokes, and there are a lot of – like that's the thing.

[47:24] Superman goes to the Capitol Building to testify, and I was waiting for the moment where they're about to make him go through the metal detector, and the security guard is like, you know what?

[47:32] What does it matter?

[47:33] And then just waves him through because he's Superman.

[47:35] What does it matter if he brought a gun with him?

[47:37] He can punch people to death and shoot lasers from his eyes.

[47:40] That would have been a great joke to throw in.

[47:42] Corny, but like throw it in there.

[47:45] That's the sort of stuff that like the fucking Marvel movies are built on is like those little scenes where the characters are like just fucking goofing around or doing everyday shit.

[47:54] I mean maybe the best scene in Avengers was the thing they tacked on at the end where they're just sitting in the restaurant eating, not talking to each other.

[48:01] Yeah, or like the other scene where they're like goofing around trying to pick up Thor's hammer.

[48:05] Yeah, exactly.

[48:06] Yeah, they're just having fun.

[48:07] They're a bunch of goofs.

[48:08] We forgot to mention the scene that motivates Batman for real, which is earlier in the movie.

[48:13] We forgot to mention this.

[48:14] He daydreams a future where Superman has taken over with a bunch of flying henchmen, and Batman is leading some kind of desert resistance force.

[48:23] And when Batman wakes up, the Flash I guess is leading through a portal, and he's like, you were right about him.

[48:30] Lois was the key.

[48:31] Find us.

[48:32] But it's one of those things where he's speaking really cryptically because he doesn't have a lot of time to talk.

[48:38] He's got a lot of time to talk.

[48:39] Flash could have been like, here's the deal.

[48:41] This thing is going to happen, then this, then this, so do that.

[48:44] And then Bruce Wayne wakes up from that dream, and we're supposed to buy – like his motivation being like, I had a bad dream about Superman.

[48:51] I guess I've got to go kill him.

[48:53] But anyway –

[48:54] Well, that reminds me.

[48:55] I've got to murder you, Elliot.

[48:57] I don't know what the dream told me to.

[48:59] And you know that I once had a dream where you died.

[49:01] It was one of the saddest dreams I ever had.

[49:03] Thank you.

[49:04] It really broke my heart.

[49:05] So thank you for not dying in that dream.

[49:07] Okay.

[49:08] And that post-apocalyptic dream sequence feels so much like Zack Snyder's like, finally I can do the fan fiction I've been wanting to do.

[49:19] I do like, though, that Batman is walking around in full desert warrior garb with a bandana over his head, but the bandana is over his Batman mask.

[49:30] I mean, that makes perfect sense.

[49:32] Like, just lose the Batman mask.

[49:34] So anyway, back to the big fight scene.

[49:36] It would have been good if he had a different – like a hat on as well.

[49:39] People are like, who are you?

[49:40] And he took the hat off, and people are like, oh shit!

[49:42] Like one of those Australian hats?

[49:44] Over his little horns?

[49:46] With the little teeth over it, crocodile teeth?

[49:48] Yeah.

[49:49] Okay.

[49:50] But no, but he's wearing a bowler hat, but the horns stick through the holes on the sides.

[49:57] I'm like a little Jughead crown.

[49:59] I feel like –

[50:00] That happened in some comic where he's like trying to solve the Ripper mysteries or something.

[50:06] Well, Gotham by Gaslight.

[50:08] Oh, is that a real one?

[50:09] Yes, it is.

[50:10] It's an Elseworlds story.

[50:12] It's Batman and H.G. Wells.

[50:14] Or Batman has like a jaunty fit.

[50:16] No, that's Time After Time.

[50:19] Or is that Time After Time?

[50:19] Wait, Batman's in that?

[50:21] Yes, yeah.

[50:21] Time After Time is a different thing.

[50:23] Time After Time is what, the Jack Finney book?

[50:25] Yeah, that was made into the movie that Nicholas Mayer did.

[50:30] Is it Time and Again is the one with H.G. Wells, where Malcolm McDowell plays H.G. Wells?

[50:35] And David Warner is Jack the Ripper?

[50:37] That's Time After Time.

[50:38] What about Somewhere in Time?

[50:38] But I said that was Time After Time and you told me it wasn't.

[50:41] No, I thought you were, this is boring for everyone who's listening.

[50:45] I agree, and for me.

[50:46] So, Batman's about to stab Superman to death with a kryptonite spear until Superman says,

[50:51] they have Martha.

[50:52] And Batman remembers his mom is named Martha too and he gets really mad.

[50:56] Amy Adams jumps off a helicopter that's hovering nearby.

[51:00] Amy Adams has a knack for always showing up in the middle of trouble.

[51:03] And Superman has the knack for always saving Amy Adams no matter where he is.

[51:07] He always seems to know she's in danger.

[51:09] So they're in a little bit of a conundrum at this point.

[51:11] At this point, I think they're kind of arguing really about what the hell Superman means.

[51:16] Because he keeps just saying something about Martha.

[51:18] This is after Batman has taken his kryptonite spear and carved a scar on Superman's face.

[51:23] Yeah, just to like be, just like, what's the word I'm looking for?

[51:29] Shitty?

[51:30] Yeah, just to be crappy, just to be a jerk.

[51:33] So he's about to stuff that spear right through his, the big S on his chest.

[51:37] When Amy Adams shows up, explains the whole confusion.

[51:41] And then, uh.

[51:42] Both their moms are named Martha.

[51:43] Now this is a reveal that I had known going into the movie that this was going to be the

[51:48] reason why they stopped fighting.

[51:49] Yeah, I'd read about it.

[51:49] I did not expect it to be this poorly done.

[51:52] It's really, really.

[51:55] Like, it really would have worked better.

[51:56] Like, it would have even worked better if there was a moment where they're just like,

[52:00] your mom's named Martha?

[52:01] My mom's named Martha.

[52:03] That is crazy.

[52:04] Buddy, Martha buddies.

[52:06] Yeah, they both pull their pants down.

[52:08] They have Martha written on their butt cheeks.

[52:11] In marker, that's a weird thing.

[52:13] Who wrote it for them?

[52:15] Did they do themselves in a mirror and it scrawled all weird?

[52:17] Weird, yeah.

[52:18] When the jackass boys come out?

[52:21] Yeah, and they punch each other in the ding-dongs.

[52:27] What a great honor for the mom.

[52:29] Or even if Superman goes, no, they've got Martha.

[52:34] And Batman just goes, that was my mom's name.

[52:37] And it just throws him off for a second.

[52:39] That would still be kind of dumb.

[52:40] But instead, he goes, why'd you say that name?

[52:43] Why'd you say that name?

[52:44] As if there was only ever one person named Martha in the world.

[52:48] He must be talking smack about his mom.

[52:51] For the real fans, that's an Easter egg for Martha Washington Goes to War.

[52:57] Because they're like, oh, this is love.

[52:58] This is based on Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns.

[53:00] But when are they going to make that Martha Washington movie

[53:03] from Frank Miller's other work?

[53:05] Yeah.

[53:05] When's that hard-boiled movie coming out?

[53:07] I mean, they keep talking about it.

[53:08] What about that big guy in Rusty the Boy Robot movie?

[53:12] I mean, that's more Jeff Dara than anything.

[53:14] I guess so, since there's almost no dialogue in it.

[53:16] Yeah.

[53:18] Anyhoo, the fight gets broken up.

[53:21] They both realize, oh, Lex Luthor is playing us for fools.

[53:24] And Batman goes to save Superman's mom.

[53:27] For, again, reasons unknown.

[53:29] Like, why does Lex Luthor care?

[53:32] I can understand him wanting to get rid of Superman.

[53:35] But why is he doing it through Batman?

[53:40] So Batman goes to save Superman's mom because Superman, I guess,

[53:44] didn't care enough to go do it himself.

[53:47] We've seen a counter that says there's 10 minutes left.

[53:50] Rather than Jeremy Irons as Alfred,

[53:54] who in this movie is less of a butler and more of, as Stuart,

[53:57] I think you pointed out, he's the microchip to Batman's punisher.

[54:00] He has tapped into the signal and figured out where Martha Kent is.

[54:06] Forgot Clark Kent's last name.

[54:09] Batman goes to save her in the most video game fight scene,

[54:13] I think, of the movie.

[54:14] Because it's just one guy after another coming up to Batman

[54:16] and him doing finishing moves and blocks and blows.

[54:19] And that's when a guy shoots Batman in the back of the head,

[54:21] point blank, and Batman's fine.

[54:22] He doesn't even have a concussion from the impact.

[54:25] But it stimulates his rage.

[54:28] So that forces him to stab the guy.

[54:31] And Superman goes to confront Lex Luthor.

[54:34] But, uh-oh, Lex Luthor has combined his own blood,

[54:37] the body of Zod, and Kryptonian technology

[54:40] to make Doomsday, a big purple guy with no penis,

[54:45] but a butt that we see a lot of,

[54:47] who is genetically predisposed to punch Superman, I guess.

[54:50] Yeah, apparently Zod plus Luthor blood means big giant golem, you dude.

[54:58] And they fight for a while.

[55:00] We don't have to check the math, but I think it makes sense.

[55:03] Superman starts punching Doomsday into space,

[55:05] and the president decides to nuke them both.

[55:08] Yeah.

[55:10] Like within moments.

[55:12] Yeah, I mean, the lifespan of this Doomsday at this point is,

[55:15] he has been alive for maybe five minutes,

[55:18] and it's already getting nukes thrown at him in outer space.

[55:21] To be fair, he was causing a lot of damage.

[55:24] He gets electricity powers, and he shoots them out of people.

[55:27] Yeah, we quickly realize that the more energy is directed at him,

[55:30] the more powerful he becomes,

[55:34] which is strange because, so he's being punched into outer space,

[55:37] and then this nuclear warhead goes off in outer space,

[55:41] and it sends him back to earth.

[55:44] I would think that the force would keep sending him further in outer space.

[55:47] It would push him further in space.

[55:48] I don't know how gravity works.

[55:50] I don't know physics.

[55:51] All I know is when...

[55:53] I mean, they had Neil deGrasse Tyson on set, right?

[55:56] Yeah, every day.

[55:57] All I know is that when a monster and a superhero go into space,

[56:01] and the president is asked,

[56:04] we have a clear shot to nuke, but Superman is there.

[56:07] The president's response is,

[56:09] may God have mercy on our souls, and they launch that nuke.

[56:13] But you know who set that precedent?

[56:15] Barack Obama with his drone attacks on American citizens abroad.

[56:18] Whoa.

[56:19] So you can thank your favorite president,

[56:22] Barack Hussein Obama, for setting the precedent

[56:26] that the president, two words that sound alike but are different,

[56:30] can use aerial attacks on American citizens

[56:32] as long as they're not on American soil

[56:34] because that's what happens in this movie.

[56:36] Oh, I'm sorry, did I just gnome chompski you?

[56:38] Yeah, he just rattled your cage.

[56:40] Yeah, my mind has been exploded, much like Superman.

[56:44] So Doomsday gets healthier because of the nuke,

[56:47] and it makes his bones push out through his body,

[56:49] so he looks like the Doomsday we know from the comics.

[56:50] He starts to look awesome.

[56:51] And Superman is all sallow and sick.

[56:54] He looks like a flying corpse, dude.

[56:55] But then the sun reaches him, and you're like,

[56:59] oh yeah, that's another scene from Dark Knight Returns.

[57:01] Yeah, he looks all shriveled up like when the Plutonian

[57:05] is fighting, what, Motius or whatever,

[57:07] and Motius is sucking all his energy out.

[57:09] I'm talking about the comic book Irredeemable.

[57:11] I don't remember that scene in Irredeemable.

[57:13] No, it's a flashback.

[57:14] No, okay.

[57:15] I remember when he's on that alien planet.

[57:17] It was alien prison planet.

[57:18] Is that the one where the alien can punch you so hard

[57:21] it sends you back in time?

[57:23] I think so, yeah.

[57:23] Yeah, that's great.

[57:24] Now, I know that Kryptonite was involved,

[57:27] but let's just remember that Batman,

[57:29] who's just a dude, almost killed Superman just moments before,

[57:34] but this nuclear bomb was easily counteracted

[57:38] by the light of the sun.

[57:39] Because the Kryptonite wore off.

[57:40] Yeah.

[57:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[57:41] I don't see a problem with that.

[57:42] Anyway, they-

[57:43] And he's catching some serious vitamin Ds, baby.

[57:49] Sunny D, not the purple stuff,

[57:51] which is the doomsday monster he's fighting.

[57:54] Now, here, it's-

[57:55] Haven't you ever had a fucking bad day

[57:58] and just hung out on the beach and just soaked that shit up?

[58:02] Hey, let me quote-

[58:03] Get all the toxins out, man.

[58:04] Superman is to quote, he's quoting Sheryl Crow,

[58:07] I want to soak up the sun, want to tell everyone-

[58:11] Yeah, let's see how far you can go with this.

[58:13] Tonight, tonight, is that how it goes?

[58:15] I don't remember.

[58:16] And the sun came up over Santa Monica Boulevard,

[58:19] she's looking at the clean and dirty cars with Billy.

[58:22] Is that a different song?

[58:23] That would have been a fun musical cue, but-

[58:26] I mean, if this was a Shrek movie, they would have played it.

[58:29] But so, the movie has pummeled us into submission by this point.

[58:33] It's been unpleasant, it's been really bleak and grim,

[58:36] it's been nonsensical, which is why I was not prepared-

[58:40] I think humorless is fair.

[58:42] Humorless, which is why I was not prepared for the best scene of the movie,

[58:46] which is Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman just-

[58:49] She gets off her air Istanbul, her Turkish Air flight-

[58:54] Uh-huh, which Elliott claims is a great airline.

[58:56] I haven't flown it.

[58:58] Elliott's bragging about his lifestyle.

[58:59] I was bragging about having flown first class on Turkish Air.

[59:02] It was amazing.

[59:04] I'm glad, because it was about a 10-hour flight.

[59:05] He's a spy, get him.

[59:07] Wow.

[59:10] Why are you looking at me?

[59:11] That was kind of a real Batman-

[59:12] Is it one of those things where you want me to kill him,

[59:14] so I take the heat for the grind?

[59:16] Which one's the real Elliott?

[59:18] I'm the ideas man.

[59:20] But anyway, that was when I went to Afghanistan.

[59:24] Oh, do you think Lex Luthor is trying to get Batman to kill Superman

[59:28] so that Batman goes to jail for it?

[59:32] My greatest enemy is dead or behind bars,

[59:35] and Batman's being led to prison still in his costume.

[59:38] He's like, it was Luthor, Luthor.

[59:40] Oh, the famous upstanding philanthropist Lex-

[59:42] Oh, it was Lex Luthor.

[59:44] Oh, sure, it was Lex Luthor, the famous philanthropist.

[59:47] You're going to jail, Bruce Wayne.

[59:49] Ha-ta-ta-ta-ta.

[59:51] Enjoy your stay in Arkham Asylum.

[59:54] Nothing to see here, Miss Lane.

[59:56] No, a famous billionaire was arrested for murdering a superhero.

[1:00:00] This is a huge story, nothing to see at Miss Lane.

[1:00:03] And then he pokes her eyes.

[1:00:05] Stooges style, Stooges style.

[1:00:07] Not pokes them out like with a hot poker.

[1:00:09] But anyway, the best scene, which is these three heroes

[1:00:13] like teaming up, working together,

[1:00:15] making jokes to each other and fighting a big monster.

[1:00:18] And there's a fucking sick ass guitar sting.

[1:00:20] The minute when Wonder Woman shows up,

[1:00:22] the electric guitar starts and it's like, yes.

[1:00:25] I immediately like straighten up

[1:00:27] and like zip up my shirt.

[1:00:29] Yeah, it helped that the movie like literally looked

[1:00:33] like a heavy metal cover at that point.

[1:00:35] I'm like, ooh, what's this going?

[1:00:37] Which is Zack Snyder's playing to his strengths.

[1:00:39] Like, I like his-

[1:00:40] Did you just say Zack Snyder?

[1:00:42] I meant to say Zack Snyder.

[1:00:43] Did I say Zack Snyder?

[1:00:45] Well, I didn't mean to.

[1:00:47] Roast me, rake me over the coals, boys.

[1:00:49] Roast me for that one.

[1:00:51] I'll take my licks.

[1:00:52] Give me the lumps, I earned them.

[1:00:54] Okay, at least the Lambanelli's gonna come in

[1:00:56] and make jokes about it.

[1:00:57] Give me the blood, give me the blood.

[1:00:57] I abandoned my boy.

[1:00:58] It's no fun when you ask for it.

[1:01:00] Come on, rain down on me.

[1:01:01] Oh, you're ruining it.

[1:01:03] So, you're like the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors.

[1:01:06] Yeah.

[1:01:07] If I'm enjoying it, it's no fun.

[1:01:08] You just get disgusted by it.

[1:01:09] So, but like one of the reasons I like 300,

[1:01:13] the movie that put Zack Snyder on the map,

[1:01:15] I guess Dawn of the Dead did.

[1:01:16] But for me, it was 300.

[1:01:18] He was already on the map.

[1:01:19] This kind of like put him in the middle of the map.

[1:01:21] I guess so.

[1:01:22] He was like in Guam

[1:01:23] and this put him in the major metropolitan center.

[1:01:27] On the map.

[1:01:28] Is that 300 of the world?

[1:01:31] 300 to me is like looking at a series

[1:01:34] of awesome heavy metal album covers

[1:01:36] that somehow a piece of radiation fell on them

[1:01:39] and turned them into a movie somehow.

[1:01:41] I can't take it seriously as like a story or a film,

[1:01:44] but as just totally over the top,

[1:01:46] crazy like awesome images, it works for me.

[1:01:50] Like this sequence worked kind of like that.

[1:01:52] You're saying that it almost works

[1:01:54] because it feels like it's towing the line

[1:01:58] of like parody or camp or almost ironic enjoyment.

[1:02:02] I don't know about ironic enjoyment

[1:02:03] so much as like the same,

[1:02:05] this is not a comparison I really want to make

[1:02:08] because these directors are not in the same league,

[1:02:10] but how Fellini worked on this level of ludicrous spectacle.

[1:02:14] Whoa, hold on.

[1:02:16] Dan, you want to make a joke?

[1:02:18] You work on it.

[1:02:18] He's still talking.

[1:02:19] You can have something really good to say.

[1:02:20] Bear with me.

[1:02:21] Fellini, a much better director

[1:02:24] who made much better movies

[1:02:25] was working on this level of ludicrous spectacle.

[1:02:27] It wasn't, sometimes it fell into camp, which was not great,

[1:02:30] but it was just so colorful and so bold and so crazy

[1:02:34] that it carried you along with its energy

[1:02:37] and 300 does that for me.

[1:02:38] It's not like I'm like, huh, this is real great.

[1:02:41] I'm enjoying it because it's stupid.

[1:02:42] It's more like this is insane, ludicrous,

[1:02:46] just everything about it is bigger than it needs to be

[1:02:49] and that works for me.

[1:02:50] Whereas this movie, which should be like that,

[1:02:53] it should be like super big.

[1:02:54] Instead, it's fighting that energy constantly,

[1:02:57] except in the explosions.

[1:02:58] And it's only at this point when Wonder Woman shows up

[1:03:00] and you hear an electric guitar sing

[1:03:02] that it feels like the movie is like,

[1:03:04] all right, you know what?

[1:03:06] It can be pretty fun to see superheroes beating up a monster.

[1:03:10] You know what?

[1:03:11] Let's have a good time.

[1:03:12] You ate your oatmeal.

[1:03:14] You had your vegetables in the form of the first two hours

[1:03:17] and 15 minutes of this movie, time for the dessert.

[1:03:21] Superheroes punching a monster.

[1:03:23] Now, I've seen, I've read a lot of superhero comics

[1:03:26] and I've read a lot of superhero comics.

[1:03:27] Prove it, name them all.

[1:03:29] I must be a fake nerd boy.

[1:03:32] So the, and you know, when superheroes fight,

[1:03:34] they almost always slap them on the cover

[1:03:36] and you're like, okay, I guess Wolverine and Punisher

[1:03:39] are gonna get in a fight.

[1:03:40] Jim Lee's drawn it so it's gonna look sick as hell.

[1:03:43] Over a milkshake.

[1:03:44] And well, I wish it was over a milkshake.

[1:03:47] When I was reading them,

[1:03:48] they're fighting over brontosauruses in the rainforest?

[1:03:52] Okay, but of course they always fight for a little bit

[1:03:56] and then they get that shit out of the way.

[1:03:58] They fight just enough so that you're like,

[1:04:00] the fanboys for either can be like,

[1:04:02] oh man, if they'd gone one second longer.

[1:04:05] Wolverine would've won, nuh-uh, Punisher would've won,

[1:04:07] that kind of stuff.

[1:04:08] Exactly, and then they get to the real demon,

[1:04:10] in this case, dinosaur poachers.

[1:04:12] I mean, there's no more endangered species than dinosaurs.

[1:04:18] I guess you're right.

[1:04:18] If there's a species that's on the edge of extinction,

[1:04:20] it's dinosaurs.

[1:04:21] Yeah, do you think when they were pitching this story,

[1:04:23] they're like, oh, we should do elephants,

[1:04:25] and they're like, that's not tough enough

[1:04:26] for our boy, Wolvie.

[1:04:28] No, but like, that's, yeah, I guess it's,

[1:04:30] the joy of Zack Snyder is similar to the joy

[1:04:32] of that one Punisher cover,

[1:04:34] where it's Punisher on that jet ski,

[1:04:35] and it's just, there's just the caption box that says,

[1:04:38] you just rented Punisher a jet ski.

[1:04:40] Kiss that baby goodbye.

[1:04:42] I remember that.

[1:04:43] Such a great cover.

[1:04:45] And you can tell they were like,

[1:04:46] this picture of Punisher on the jet ski

[1:04:47] is not really that exciting.

[1:04:49] Slap some text on that cover.

[1:04:51] But I was like, uh-oh, property destruction.

[1:04:56] You're not getting back the deposit on that jet ski.

[1:04:59] You can also play on the fantasy

[1:05:01] that you run a jet ski dealership.

[1:05:03] You're a successful jet ski proprietor,

[1:05:05] but for how long if you keep renting them

[1:05:07] to the fucking Punisher?

[1:05:10] The Punisher comes back week after week, I promise.

[1:05:12] This time, I'm gonna bring back the jet ski.

[1:05:14] I can't believe you, but I trust that skull on your shirt.

[1:05:17] Somehow you've fitted it into some kind of a tank top

[1:05:20] for beach wear.

[1:05:22] You're wearing Tommy Bahama shorts

[1:05:24] and a black undershirt with a skull on it, all right.

[1:05:27] I trust a man with an M16 in both hands.

[1:05:33] So they fight this monster and they defeat him.

[1:05:36] They stab him with that spear,

[1:05:38] but in doing so, Superman has to give his own life.

[1:05:40] And he dies and they have his funeral

[1:05:44] and suddenly everybody loves him again.

[1:05:46] And Batman tells Wonder Woman,

[1:05:47] we gotta find these other meta-humans

[1:05:50] because I got a feeling we're gonna need them.

[1:05:53] And then there's a scene where Batman goes and visits

[1:05:55] Lex Luthor in jail and Lex Luthor tells him,

[1:05:57] oh, there's this big, big bad out in space

[1:06:00] that's heard of us now and now it's gonna come

[1:06:02] and there's nothing you can do about it.

[1:06:03] So most people watching this movie's like,

[1:06:05] yeah, they're talking about him.

[1:06:06] His name's Thanos or something, right?

[1:06:08] Yeah, because they don't know the difference

[1:06:09] between Marvel and DC. Most people don't.

[1:06:10] No, that's true, yeah.

[1:06:13] That's what puts us into the cool elite people, Elliot,

[1:06:16] is that we know the difference.

[1:06:18] It doesn't make us cool, but in a weird way,

[1:06:21] I never thought that I would now be,

[1:06:23] after years of training in secret, I guess,

[1:06:26] in possession of the mystic knowledge

[1:06:28] that unlocks pop culture for people who are older than me

[1:06:31] so I can explain it to them or to my son.

[1:06:35] My son's never seen the Star Wars movies.

[1:06:37] Yeah, younger people, you're like,

[1:06:38] gather round, younglings.

[1:06:41] Allow me to tell you a tale, a tale of corporate IP.

[1:06:44] But my son knows a bunch of-

[1:06:46] You're like Christian Bale in Reign of Fire

[1:06:48] where you're telling the story of Star Wars.

[1:06:51] My son knows a bunch about Star Wars

[1:06:52] because he'll point to pictures and be like,

[1:06:54] who's that?

[1:06:54] I'm like, oh, that's so-and-so.

[1:06:55] They fought at the Battle of what's it called.

[1:07:00] He should be telling me that stuff.

[1:07:02] He should be explaining pop culture to his dad,

[1:07:04] not the other way around.

[1:07:05] This place is all mixed up and crazy cuckoo.

[1:07:07] Pretty soon he's gonna be on YouTube, dude,

[1:07:09] and he's gonna show you everything

[1:07:10] and he's gonna be a fan of all those YouTube celebrities

[1:07:13] that are raking in the big dollars.

[1:07:14] I'm like, dad, I wanna watch this guy play video games

[1:07:16] for three straight hours.

[1:07:20] Yeah, Dan looks exhausted just thinking about it.

[1:07:22] No, I really was.

[1:07:23] It just, like the idea of YouTube celebrities

[1:07:25] pains me inherently.

[1:07:28] Interesting for a podcasting celebrity

[1:07:30] to say that even lower.

[1:07:31] Dan's a celebrity?

[1:07:32] Well, I don't know why I say celebrity so much as-

[1:07:35] Here, let me sign your butt.

[1:07:37] Okay.

[1:07:38] That's for his mom's name, Martha.

[1:07:40] Write Martha, please.

[1:07:42] So, of course, when Batman and Superman fight,

[1:07:44] of course, Superman is totally at the mercy of Batman.

[1:07:47] Batman would've fucking taken a shit all over Superman.

[1:07:50] I don't know about that,

[1:07:52] because when the kryptonite wore off

[1:07:54] and I'm Jay Leno all of a sudden.

[1:07:55] But he had that spear right on his chest.

[1:07:57] I thought you were visionary director Zack Snyder.

[1:08:00] I was visionary talk show host Jay Leno.

[1:08:03] They both probably have a penchant

[1:08:05] for leather jackets and motorcycles.

[1:08:06] I think you're right.

[1:08:08] Classic cars.

[1:08:09] Jay Leno and Zack Snyder just getting together

[1:08:11] for their classic car club.

[1:08:12] Crunching all kinds of Doritos.

[1:08:14] Hey, you see this Cadillac over here?

[1:08:16] Have some more Doritos.

[1:08:17] Thanks, Jay.

[1:08:18] Only extreme flavors, please.

[1:08:21] This is jumping jack cheese.

[1:08:23] Oh, they still make that?

[1:08:25] Probably.

[1:08:26] Okay.

[1:08:27] So, the last shot of the movie,

[1:08:29] so we can wrap it up.

[1:08:29] Oh, it's that Superman's in his coffin, dead,

[1:08:31] but then the dirt starts lifting off of his grave,

[1:08:33] which makes no sense.

[1:08:34] The end.

[1:08:35] Yeah, is he being teleported out of there?

[1:08:37] I guess so.

[1:08:38] He's being raptured up to heaven.

[1:08:40] He's got magic dirt repelling powers.

[1:08:44] Well, when he died, he lost his regular powers,

[1:08:46] but he gained the dirt repelling powers.

[1:08:48] So, now he's a super cleaner.

[1:08:53] So, there's a ton of dumb crap in this movie.

[1:08:56] We talked about it for a long time.

[1:08:58] Yeah.

[1:08:59] We don't want to go as long as this movie

[1:09:01] as we've been doing normally.

[1:09:02] This movie was two and a half hours long.

[1:09:05] And we don't want it, and it's getting late.

[1:09:06] So, let's give our final judgments, huh?

[1:09:08] Yeah, final judgments on this movie.

[1:09:09] Was it a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie,

[1:09:12] or a movie you kind of liked, Stuart?

[1:09:14] It was a bad, bad movie.

[1:09:15] I liked it just as little as I liked Man of Steel,

[1:09:19] which means I did not like it very much.

[1:09:23] It, I mean, I'm not, I don't have a ton,

[1:09:26] I don't have a super long relationship

[1:09:28] with Batman or Superman,

[1:09:29] but this movie seems to have a completely different

[1:09:32] perspective on those characters.

[1:09:34] And just like, it just feels really wrong-headed

[1:09:37] and stitched together.

[1:09:38] And it seems to be made by an alien

[1:09:40] who has seen movies before,

[1:09:41] but doesn't actually know what kind of connective tissue

[1:09:43] is required to lead from one scene to the next.

[1:09:46] And I don't think that's a cause of over-editing.

[1:09:49] I just think it's made by a guy

[1:09:51] who doesn't understand movies or human emotions.

[1:09:53] Wow, harsh, harsh words.

[1:09:56] And the, like, like even the ending,

[1:09:59] like Superman,

[1:10:00] funeral it has the emotional weight of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

[1:10:05] when Hagrid comes back and all the kids are like flipping out and you're like

[1:10:08] wait Hagrid was gone? Why is everyone flipping out about Hagrid? But it was because like I guess it was a big deal in the book so like

[1:10:17] Christopher Columbus had to make sure it was a big deal in the book. That's his name right?

[1:10:22] Most people call him Chris Columbus. People told him children's literature was flat but he

[1:10:35] convinced Queen Isabella to give him the money to publish the Harry Potter books. I could find a

[1:10:40] faster route to a book about boy wizards. No I agree this is a bad bad movie. I liked it

[1:10:50] marginally better than Man of Steel just because I feel like Man of Steel so egregiously misunderstands

[1:10:56] who Superman is supposed to be. Whereas this movie is much more Batman movie and I think

[1:11:01] Zack Snyder's like much more of a Batman kind of guy. So it's not quite as like off-base in the

[1:11:07] characterizations but it's it's it's I feel like such a nerd talking about comic book

[1:11:13] characterizations. You gotta impress man. Yeah come on. You're afraid you're not gonna look cool? Yeah to all the

[1:11:20] podcast listeners. Let's move on to me before you alienate everybody. Mr. No jibber-jabber please. I'm

[1:11:30] saying mean stuff about all kinds of celebs. You're talking shit about our listeners? Let me be the positive guy then. Thank you. I also did not like the

[1:11:38] movie. I thought it was bad and bad but mainly because in that fight at the end there's a little

[1:11:43] glimpse of what this movie could have been. I mean it doesn't have to be The Avengers which is a movie

[1:11:49] I liked because it was a very light movie for the most part. It doesn't have to be that but it could

[1:11:53] could have been a movie that was trying to address these same issues but also had some fun to it. I

[1:11:59] think it may have addressed those issues better if it was a more fun movie and didn't feel like

[1:12:03] they were adapting the Bible or something. Well even like the Christopher Nolan movies which

[1:12:09] are pretty dark. Man they have jokes in them. Even Christian Bale with his awesome voice. Those were not my

[1:12:18] daddy superhero movies either but at least they were fun. So I would say not a good movie but hey

[1:12:24] keep trying guys.

[1:12:25] Hey guys this is Adam Conover. You may know me from my true TV show Adam ruins everything. Well

[1:12:35] guess what now we're doing a podcast version right here on Maximum Fun. What we do is we take all the

[1:12:40] interesting fascinating experts that we talked to for just a couple minutes on the show and we sit

[1:12:44] with them for an entire podcast really going deep and getting into the fascinating details of their

[1:12:49] work. Find Adam ruins everything wherever you get your podcasts or at Maximum Fun dot org. We have a

[1:12:56] couple of sponsors tonight. The Flophouse is sponsored in part by a new sponsor the black tux.

[1:13:06] Looking great for a wedding or a special event has never been easier with the black tux dot com with

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[1:13:37] plaque. The black visit the plaques. Visit the plaques. The alien overlord intelligence that is invading our world.

[1:13:50] This is a the plaques. This is the black tux dot com. Dan, can I slash flop. Can I order white tuxes from the black tux

[1:13:59] dot com slash flop. Imagine you can. I saw it. Okay. Can you order tuxes that have little Boba Fett pictures all over

[1:14:06] them? I hope so that I don't know. Now the probably not the black tux also sounds like it could be a superhero. I mean, if the

[1:14:14] cape was a superhero on NBC. Yeah, I remember it. So Dan, I one thing I like about the black tux is that I don't have to go to a

[1:14:24] store to try on a tux. And then have to, you know, because you're not wearing in the store, you're going to be putting out at

[1:14:30] home. You see where I'm going with that. Let me tell you guys a story about a time I rented tuxedo in a store, a time that

[1:14:37] backfired on me tremendously. My sister was getting married, and I had a role to play in the ceremony. She demanded that I get a

[1:14:45] tuxedo and not just wear a black suit. Okay, I'll go to the store and I'll rent one. I went to a store that I will not name is

[1:14:53] called men's warehouse. And I went to rent a tuxedo there. We're gonna like the way you look. I did not like the way I looked. I

[1:15:00] guarantee it. They their guarantee was not good. They measured me. And then I went back to pick up the tux the day before the

[1:15:07] wedding. And the pants that had arrived were like about four times as wide as human pants should be. I looked like I was wearing an

[1:15:15] elephant's pants. It was ridiculous. And the salesman goes, Okay, so you're gonna need an extra long wallet.

[1:15:24] You were going to some kind of zoo to a riot. You're gonna you were renting this tux that you could hang out in the parking lot of the

[1:15:31] 711 with your skater pals. Right. But uh, and the guy there was like, those the only pants we have. I was like, this is crazy. I'm not

[1:15:39] gonna pay for this. And like, sorry, only pants we've got. So I ended up paying essentially tux prices for a jacket because I had to wear

[1:15:47] my own black suit pants anyway. So pants, so black tux.com, you don't have to go to the store. You can try it on ahead of time. So you

[1:15:56] know if it fits and three, you don't have to deal with a salesman is like, I don't know looks fine to me. I mean, sure from the waist

[1:16:03] down. You look like a clown. But that's look you're going for right? So the black tux.com Yeah, and men's warehouse can go to hell.

[1:16:11] Yeah, I own a tuxedo because we went to the Emmys a few times. And that's sheer madness. When am I gonna wear that tuxedo again? Never

[1:16:20] only when you're buried. So why not rent one? You know, that's the that's the much more sensible thing to do. Don't be an idiot like your

[1:16:28] buddy, Dan. Rent a tuxedo. Just rent it, man. Yeah, come on. You're on your deathbed. And you're like, why did I buy that tux?

[1:16:39] So what's our other sponsor, Dan? Our other sponsor is Casper. The Flophouse is supported in part... A ghost? And he's wearing a tux?

[1:16:48] What a dapper spirit. It must be Topper starring Cary Grant.

[1:16:55] The Flophouse is supported in part by Casper, an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. They offer an obsessively

[1:17:04] engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price. Now I myself sleep on a Casper mattress and...

[1:17:12] Like sleeping on a bed of ghosts?

[1:17:13] Look, I have sleep problems. I have mild sleep apnea.

[1:17:17] You've got lots of other types of problems. Why not sleep problems too?

[1:17:20] You got that Bane mask yet?

[1:17:22] The CPAP mask?

[1:17:24] Yeah.

[1:17:24] No, I'll get it in a little bit.

[1:17:25] It helps you sleep, but you sleep like this.

[1:17:34] Sleep arises.

[1:17:36] The problem is, all I'm saying is I'm a...

[1:17:39] No napping. That comes later.

[1:17:41] I'm a bad sleeper.

[1:17:44] What a cool old character.

[1:17:45] Sleepy Bane. Our new character, Sleepy Bane. Copyright that, boys. So anyway, Dan, you have sleep problems.

[1:17:52] I've got sleep problems, but you know one thing that's not a problem? My mattress.

[1:17:56] Oh, yeah.

[1:17:56] Because it's a Casper mattress.

[1:17:57] Is it comfortable?

[1:17:58] It's comfortable. It's fump-terful.

[1:18:01] It's so fump-terful.

[1:18:02] Do you sleep on one side or do you like spread out a lot? Or do you like roll around?

[1:18:08] I tend to sleep on one side, but I've got the whole bed open for me.

[1:18:12] These are leading questions. I was wondering if Casper mattresses are like really firm or do you make like a big divot on your side?

[1:18:21] You know, they're like half memory foam and half forgetful foam.

[1:18:27] Half something else.

[1:18:28] I forget what the other thing is.

[1:18:29] Probably beans. I don't know.

[1:18:31] Yeah, sure. Beans.

[1:18:33] Dan, was it easy to unpack and use?

[1:18:36] Because I know a mattress is huge and heavy.

[1:18:38] How did you get it into your apartment?

[1:18:39] It comes in a reasonably sized box and you cut the box open and you cut the plastic wrap on the mattress open and it inflates like a giant mattress erection.

[1:18:56] Do you say that your erection inflates?

[1:18:58] Yeah.

[1:18:59] It's a weird word to use.

[1:19:01] Well, I'm a colorful person, but anyway, Casper has a risk-free trial and return policy.

[1:19:07] Try sleeping on Casper for 100 days with free delivery to the US and Canada and painless returns.

[1:19:13] You can return a mattress and all mattresses are made in America.

[1:19:18] Now, listen, there's a special offer to listeners to our show.

[1:19:23] The Flophouse listeners can get $50 toward any mattress by visiting Casper.com slash flop and using promo code flop at checkout.

[1:19:33] It's so easy to remember.

[1:19:34] Now, I've only slept on a Casper mattress once.

[1:19:37] With Dan.

[1:19:39] Maybe.

[1:19:40] Hold on. Terms and conditions apply.

[1:19:41] All right.

[1:19:41] There you go.

[1:19:43] Now, Dan, have you been sleeping on your mattress past the 100 days mark?

[1:19:48] Yeah, I can't return it at this point.

[1:19:50] I just want to make sure that didn't didn't like turn into a puff of smoke right after 100 days.

[1:19:54] It didn't turn into back into a pumpkin.

[1:19:58] Dan has passed the OK to eat chili.

[1:20:00] in the bed, Mark, because he cannot send it back.

[1:20:03] Yeah.

[1:20:04] And you better believe that day one, day 101,

[1:20:10] I got on my chili-eating spoon.

[1:20:12] Wait, got a big bowl.

[1:20:14] Wait, you would stop wanting to eat chili.

[1:20:17] It's OK.

[1:20:17] Dan didn't get what I was saying.

[1:20:18] Let's just keep moving on.

[1:20:19] It's late.

[1:20:20] Oh, I thought that you were saying

[1:20:20] that I didn't want to eat chili so I could return it.

[1:20:24] No, no, you want to eat chili, but then once you can't return

[1:20:26] anymore, it's like, oh, I want to keep this mattress.

[1:20:28] I'm not going to eat chili in it.

[1:20:30] Get your hand truck, and you move your chili cauldron

[1:20:32] out of your bedroom, put it back in the closet where it belongs.

[1:20:36] In your chili closet.

[1:20:39] OK, so in addition to our sponsors,

[1:20:43] we also have a Jumbotron tonight, fellows.

[1:20:46] Jumbotron, that's the place where anyone can rent space

[1:20:49] on the Flophouse to announce a product

[1:20:51] or even just say hello to a friend.

[1:20:53] Yeah.

[1:20:53] Yeah, you go to MaximumFun.org forward slash Jumbotron

[1:20:57] if you want to get up on the Jumbotron.

[1:20:59] Or the Jungletron, as Dan was about to say.

[1:21:02] So why don't we actually do the Jumbotron?

[1:21:05] This message is from Tim, and it is for Tegan.

[1:21:11] I believe I'm pronouncing that correctly.

[1:21:13] If not, I am super sorry.

[1:21:15] Happy birthday, Tegan, the best sister anyone could ask for.

[1:21:19] I have such great memories listening to the Flophouse

[1:21:22] with you on a packed bus in Germany,

[1:21:24] laughing out loud like maniacs.

[1:21:27] That's a crime in Germany.

[1:21:28] Not if they're invisible maniacs.

[1:21:31] Enjoy the day and party like it's the Flophouse

[1:21:34] house cat's birthday.

[1:21:35] Rawr!

[1:21:37] So happy, well, I guess not.

[1:21:40] Well, wait.

[1:21:40] Yeah, happy birthday.

[1:21:43] Why would you want to party?

[1:21:44] I guess that makes sense.

[1:21:46] Because he has the best parties.

[1:21:47] Yeah, that makes sense.

[1:21:48] It's your birthday.

[1:21:49] Enjoy it, Tegan.

[1:21:50] The police are always shutting down the Flophouse

[1:21:52] cat's birthday parties.

[1:21:53] But when they get there, they're like, this is a rocking party.

[1:21:55] You know what?

[1:21:56] And they take their badges and throw them

[1:21:57] in the dirt, like at the end of Dirty Harry,

[1:21:59] and they join the party.

[1:22:00] Yep.

[1:22:00] And those badges slowly sprout badge trees.

[1:22:07] It's a real on-top-of-spaghetti situation.

[1:22:09] Yeah, it does a time-lapse.

[1:22:12] You got Terrence Malick hanging out videotaping that shit.

[1:22:15] A big fucking beanstalk grows, and you go up

[1:22:18] into policeman land in the clouds.

[1:22:19] It's just some giant cops.

[1:22:22] Yeah, and you get like a singing goose

[1:22:23] that lays golden eggs in a harp.

[1:22:25] Don't try to steal it.

[1:22:26] Everyone's a cop up there.

[1:22:32] Well, before we move on to letters,

[1:22:34] I just want to extend a few thanks.

[1:22:37] We got some Cagemas gifts.

[1:22:41] I want to thank Emily Davidson and Matt DuPriest for the card

[1:22:45] that they sent.

[1:22:46] Thank you.

[1:22:47] Alexandra Bowser for the cookies that we were enjoying earlier.

[1:22:51] What were they in the shape of, Dan?

[1:22:52] Rocket Crocodile, and also the Max Fun Rocket Ship logo.

[1:22:58] Kylie Fong for the paintings.

[1:22:59] I forgot to show you the paintings.

[1:23:01] I'll show you after the show taping.

[1:23:04] And also, Liz Young sent some gifts.

[1:23:07] She demanded that we open this one on air.

[1:23:11] And Dan's nothing but a slave to the fans.

[1:23:13] Well, first off, there's some books that aren't wrapped.

[1:23:18] And I'm going to assume that a friend of Mr. Lincoln

[1:23:22] is meant for Elliot.

[1:23:24] It's probably about me.

[1:23:27] I'm guessing that this George R. R. Martin book

[1:23:29] is meant for Stu, though he probably already has it.

[1:23:32] No, I actually don't have this.

[1:23:33] I have the individual stories, but I

[1:23:36] don't have this beautifully illustrated version

[1:23:39] with Gary Gianni illustrations.

[1:23:40] Gary Gianni is the best.

[1:23:41] Thank you.

[1:23:42] And by process of elimination, I'm

[1:23:44] going to keep this copy of The Man Who Fell to Earth.

[1:23:47] The book.

[1:23:47] The book, not the movie.

[1:23:49] But here's something wrapped that

[1:23:51] was demanded to be opened on the air.

[1:23:53] It says, to the Flophouse, welcome to hell.

[1:23:55] Welcome to hell.

[1:23:56] So it's a puzzle box of some kind.

[1:23:59] Well, I guess I'll just solve it.

[1:24:00] Oh, wow, it's a collection of photos.

[1:24:02] Oh, look, it's a copy of Raggedy Ann and Andy,

[1:24:06] A Musical Adventure.

[1:24:07] It's so horrible.

[1:24:09] A movie that I know that Liz Young is bizarrely obsessed

[1:24:13] with.

[1:24:14] It's a frightening movie.

[1:24:15] So thank you for that.

[1:24:16] Very well animated, though.

[1:24:17] Give me this.

[1:24:17] They spent a lot of money on it.

[1:24:20] Thank you very much, Liz.

[1:24:21] Wow, this is a whole text on the back.

[1:24:24] As always, gifts to the Flophouse are appreciated.

[1:24:27] But please don't feel like you have to send us anything.

[1:24:29] It's very nice.

[1:24:30] But just being able to do this podcast for you guys

[1:24:34] is the biggest gift of all.

[1:24:36] That's some very great reverse psychology, Elliot.

[1:24:41] That's why I'm the Batman villain,

[1:24:43] the reverse psychologizer.

[1:24:45] So it's time for letters from listeners.

[1:24:48] No wacky voice for that guy?

[1:24:49] No, ran out of them.

[1:24:51] Running out of time.

[1:24:52] No, don't have juice for a song.

[1:24:53] Letters.

[1:24:54] Let's do this.

[1:24:55] OK.

[1:24:56] That's what happens when we watch a 2 1⁄2 hour movie.

[1:24:59] That was crazy.

[1:25:00] OK, let me just say one thing, having just said that.

[1:25:03] Why is 2 1⁄2 hours now the default time for action

[1:25:07] adventure films?

[1:25:08] Or Dan and I were-

[1:25:09] How long was that Star War we just watched?

[1:25:12] That was about 2 1⁄2 hours.

[1:25:13] Dan and I walked out of Rogue One.

[1:25:15] We happened to be going to the same screening.

[1:25:17] Yeah, we would only go to the same screening by accident.

[1:25:20] We most certainly would never make plans together.

[1:25:23] No, but we were walking out, and we

[1:25:26] were talking about how a lot of the great action

[1:25:29] films of yore that we grew up with

[1:25:31] are less than 2 1⁄2 hours.

[1:25:33] They managed to tell an entire movie in two hours.

[1:25:36] The original Star Wars, less than two hours long,

[1:25:39] roughly two hours.

[1:25:41] Raiders of the Lost Ark, roughly two hours or so.

[1:25:44] And yet somehow it seems to be impossible for people

[1:25:46] to tell an adventure, even if it's

[1:25:48] set in a pre-established universe that

[1:25:50] doesn't need to be introduced, in less than 2 1⁄2 hours.

[1:25:53] Like them Transformers movies, dude.

[1:25:54] They're so long.

[1:25:55] Those are like almost three hours long.

[1:25:58] If you made them like 80 minutes long,

[1:26:00] people would be so pumped.

[1:26:01] Yeah, they would love it.

[1:26:03] But you need three hours to set up the fourth episode

[1:26:05] of the Transformers saga?

[1:26:06] You need to have like super elaborate backstories.

[1:26:09] You need to find- you're like, we're

[1:26:10] on contract to have Stanley Tucci doing a bunch of shit.

[1:26:14] So what's with that next new Transformers movie coming out

[1:26:16] where they're in King Arthur's Camelot?

[1:26:18] That sounds great.

[1:26:19] I like that.

[1:26:20] I don't like the Transformers movies,

[1:26:21] but I like that they're just like going

[1:26:23] with the craziest ideas.

[1:26:25] All right, I guess it's King Arthur time.

[1:26:26] Like, they're going to get to a point

[1:26:28] where it's like the Transformers are

[1:26:31] the patrons of Leonardo da Vinci,

[1:26:33] and he's painting the Sistine Chapel,

[1:26:35] and it's Optimus Prime giving life to humanity or something.

[1:26:38] Or like he's like holding him up to the ceiling of the Sistine.

[1:26:41] Of course, let me just correct myself.

[1:26:41] Michelangelo painted that, not Leonardo da Vinci.

[1:26:43] I apologize for what you were saying.

[1:26:44] He's like holding Michelangelo to the ceiling

[1:26:46] of the Sistine Chapel.

[1:26:49] By the way, when you said they would love it,

[1:26:51] I resisted the urge to say they would missus love it,

[1:26:54] because the listeners wouldn't realize that was a callback

[1:26:57] to when we got so bored watching the movie

[1:27:00] that we just started singing the Sweeney Todd songs.

[1:27:02] Yeah, they would not have known that.

[1:27:03] Yeah, Dan and I were singing a lot of Sweeney Todd

[1:27:06] during Superman v. Batman, and Stuart was like,

[1:27:09] I'll take your word for it.

[1:27:11] That's the movie, right?

[1:27:12] The Tim Burton?

[1:27:13] I mean, it's not a bad adaptation, that movie.

[1:27:15] They cut a lot, but.

[1:27:16] Yeah, it's a fun movie.

[1:27:17] So did Sweeney Todd.

[1:27:18] Oh!

[1:27:20] I know, I know stuff.

[1:27:21] From Orsi, Sweeney Todd, the movie.

[1:27:24] Or you go to your local library.

[1:27:27] Go to the Sweeney Todd section.

[1:27:29] We're like such fucking nerds tonight, guys.

[1:27:32] He's a demon barber who kills people

[1:27:34] and puts them into pies, but don't take my word for it.

[1:27:37] Check out Sweeney Todd from your local library.

[1:27:39] Did it do?

[1:27:40] That was Reading Rainbow for adults or theater kids.

[1:27:45] This first letter is from Tom, last name withheld,

[1:27:49] who writes.

[1:27:50] Tom Jane, stop confusing me with Aaron Eckhart.

[1:27:54] The Punisher?

[1:27:55] Hey, floppers.

[1:27:55] Writing in to share one of my favorite

[1:27:57] super specific film types,

[1:27:59] the environmentalist message movie

[1:28:01] with a premise that turned out to be totally wrong.

[1:28:04] My favorite example is the Eddie Murphy vehicle,

[1:28:06] The Distinguished Gentleman from 1992,

[1:28:08] in which he plays a con man

[1:28:10] who manages to get elected to Congress.

[1:28:13] Eventually, he leaves.

[1:28:14] Con man, Congress.

[1:28:16] Coincidence, I think not.

[1:28:20] He leaves a charge against allowing power lines

[1:28:22] near schools because the electromagnetic radiation

[1:28:25] had given a bunch of kids cancer.

[1:28:27] Spoiler alert, this is totally false.

[1:28:29] I remember seeing this movie as a teenager

[1:28:31] in the early 2000s, liking its Eddie Murphy-ness,

[1:28:34] but thinking that the science seemed off.

[1:28:36] I did some basic research and was delighted

[1:28:39] to tell my parents and friends all about

[1:28:40] how this well-meaning, multi-billion dollar movie

[1:28:42] was so far off the mark.

[1:28:44] I was a popular child.

[1:28:45] Just wondering if there are any movies

[1:28:47] with similarly dated slash disproven premises

[1:28:51] that tickle you.

[1:28:52] Yours in floppiness, Tom.

[1:28:55] So, movies with dated or disproven premises

[1:29:00] based on a false premise.

[1:29:03] False premise, you say?

[1:29:05] Hmm.

[1:29:06] Well, my old saw that always gets me

[1:29:09] is any time a movie is based on the premise

[1:29:11] that humans only use 10% of their brains.

[1:29:14] Oh shit, that was exactly the one I was gonna use.

[1:29:15] But if you unlocked 100% of your brain,

[1:29:18] you'd probably be a god.

[1:29:19] And like, Lucy's a pretty fun movie

[1:29:21] because it's batshit nuts,

[1:29:23] but when I saw the trailers, I was like,

[1:29:25] come on, are we still doing that?

[1:29:27] Like, it is similar to if there was a movie

[1:29:31] where they're like, the Earth is flat,

[1:29:33] but what if you could go to the other side

[1:29:35] of the flat Earth?

[1:29:36] And you'd be like, no, everyone knows

[1:29:38] that's not true anymore.

[1:29:39] Like, it really bugs me that it's still

[1:29:41] a premise for things.

[1:29:42] Yeah.

[1:29:43] Well, you stole mine, so let's go to Steve.

[1:29:45] I'll, this, I don't think this 100% tracks,

[1:29:49] but I'm gonna, I'm gonna.

[1:29:51] No, it doesn't have to be like scientific.

[1:29:52] I'm gonna touch on an earlier Zack Snyder work,

[1:29:56] Watchmen, but more, I guess more the comic book,

[1:29:59] the way that.

[1:30:00] The ending in the comic book features a foe alien invasion that kills a bunch of people

[1:30:13] and it's all a play by Ozymandias to have the world unite against this alien threat

[1:30:20] who caused this enormous attack on Manhattan.

[1:30:24] I feel like on some level the attacks on 9-11 kind of disproved that because I feel like

[1:30:35] humanity's first response in that kind of situation, at least in America, was to point

[1:30:42] fingers and to get defensive.

[1:30:45] I guess so.

[1:30:46] I think the difference is that he's creating an outside threat that all humanity is threatened

[1:30:52] by whereas those attacks were from one type of person on another person.

[1:30:57] Yeah, I guess that's fair but I mean it seemed like, I guess at the time, it felt like people

[1:31:05] were blaming anybody they could blame based loosely on the information given.

[1:31:12] Well, what did the movie change it to?

[1:31:16] I feel like it works less well in the movie because it isn't an alien.

[1:31:21] It's something involving Dr. Manhattan or something.

[1:31:24] Yeah, I believe they swapped in Dr. Manhattan for the alien.

[1:31:30] The ending is still better than the old Sam Ham script that was written in the 90s where

[1:31:37] it was also that Dr. Manhattan was the thing that they had to eliminate if I remember it

[1:31:42] correctly.

[1:31:43] But at the end of it, it ends with they managed to kill Dr. Manhattan before he becomes Dr.

[1:31:48] Manhattan and time goes all screwy and Night Owl and Sally Jupiter and Rorschach are sucked

[1:31:55] through a portal into our world.

[1:31:59] That's the end of the movie.

[1:32:00] That would have been fucking awesome.

[1:32:04] And then another movie I'm going to talk about since you guys just pushed back on my initial

[1:32:08] suggestion is The Contender, the movie where Joan Allen plays a possible vice presidential

[1:32:15] candidate whose nomination is challenged by possible questionable photos of her past

[1:32:23] from when she was in college and her nomination is secured when the truth comes out and people

[1:32:35] are informed that she was in fact not a slut.

[1:32:38] Not yeah, I guess.

[1:32:39] Since that's the charge they're letting.

[1:32:41] The charge.

[1:32:42] Yeah.

[1:32:43] And then finally it delivers one of the grossest lines in cinema history and it's delivered

[1:32:49] to sans mustache.

[1:32:50] So it looks like the fucking Grinch when he does it over.

[1:32:53] It's like they're talking about the vice president with a dick in her mouth or something like

[1:32:56] that.

[1:32:57] The American people get stomach a lot, but they can't stomach the image of a vice president

[1:33:01] with a mouthful of cock.

[1:33:03] That's what it is.

[1:33:04] It's gross because it's chauvinistic.

[1:33:05] Yeah.

[1:33:06] And it's gross sounding when he says it.

[1:33:11] I feel like I don't know if Sam Elliott is saying it sounds great.

[1:33:15] Yeah.

[1:33:16] It makes you want to go out and buy some beef for a hat made out of beef.

[1:33:23] Sam Elliott is selling it and I'm buying it.

[1:33:26] You know, but I feel like I feel like it's been it's been I don't know, I feel like I'm

[1:33:31] a little bit down on the world and politics in general.

[1:33:33] But I feel like lately the if a charge like sexual I don't even want to say misconduct,

[1:33:40] but if like charges like that were levied against a female politician, it would never

[1:33:44] go.

[1:33:45] They would never go away.

[1:33:46] And the truth coming out will certainly not protect that person, that politician, that

[1:33:51] the similar to that, I was thinking about the premise of a lot of movies like a face

[1:33:54] in the crowd or the penguin running for mayor subplot of Batman Returns, where someone being

[1:34:01] caught on tape saying something insulting or horrible ruins their chances at power and

[1:34:06] office.

[1:34:07] And similarly, as we saw in this last campaign, if you're the right person, you can say whatever

[1:34:13] you want on tape.

[1:34:14] And it does not matter in person.

[1:34:18] I don't know.

[1:34:19] It feels like there's a there's a double standard.

[1:34:21] If you are a wealthy businessman or if you are a mutant who lives in the sewers, if you're

[1:34:30] a deformed man who eats raw fish in front of your staff and lives in the sewers with

[1:34:35] a bunch of evil clowns, he bites the noses off of his enemies, not even enemies.

[1:34:41] It was like his campaign staff somehow, but they get like in a face in the crowd.

[1:34:47] He's caught on camera being like these stupid idiots.

[1:34:50] And overnight his career is over, whereas now I feel like you have a lot of people like,

[1:34:54] yeah, he was right.

[1:34:55] We are stupid idiots.

[1:34:56] Yeah.

[1:34:57] You tell them anyway.

[1:34:58] Oh, that was just Michael Bay magic.

[1:35:01] It was a hoax.

[1:35:04] This next letter is from Liam.

[1:35:08] Last name withheld.

[1:35:09] It goes.

[1:35:10] Hello.

[1:35:11] Listen.

[1:35:12] Wow.

[1:35:13] Yeah.

[1:35:14] He says, you've taken my daughter.

[1:35:15] You don't understand.

[1:35:16] I have a certain set of skills, dark man skills, but my nose will explode after a certain point

[1:35:24] in life.

[1:35:25] And that's the way we all will hear the thing about dark men.

[1:35:31] We all dark men, David Hart, such a hit.

[1:35:38] Aren't we all fearing the return of Durant?

[1:35:44] Aren't we all die, dark man, die when they say die, die.

[1:35:50] It's like die.

[1:35:51] All of us die.

[1:35:53] Do not ask. Die, dark man.

[1:35:55] Die. It tolls for the.

[1:35:56] Some of the best titles of movies ever.

[1:36:09] Oh, man, I wish there was a crossover between Darkman and Wishmaster.

[1:36:19] That's the kind of wish that the Wishmaster would grant.

[1:36:21] Oh, we've got to team up against the Lord of Illusions.

[1:36:25] Oh, no.

[1:36:28] OK, it goes.

[1:36:29] Hello, flop fam.

[1:36:31] As connoisseurs of fine bad movies from across decades, nay, centuries.

[1:36:38] No, technically correct.

[1:36:39] There's two centuries.

[1:36:40] You should be reading this in a Sean Connery from Highlander accent.

[1:36:45] As connoisseurs of fine bad movies from across decades.

[1:36:48] No, he sounds Egyptian.

[1:36:49] How did John Connery get here?

[1:36:52] No, no one questions your abilities to discern good movies from bad ones.

[1:36:56] The sacrosanctity of the good bad slash bad, bad slash kind of like scale

[1:37:01] is unquestioned and creates clear delineation in how a viewer

[1:37:05] can describe their feelings on any manner of badish movie.

[1:37:09] However, I wondered if any of you have ever had trouble

[1:37:13] owing maybe to personal allegiance or nostalgia, admitting that a good movie

[1:37:18] that you are very attached to is actually a bad movie.

[1:37:21] For example, in my personal experience, I've recently had to come to terms

[1:37:25] with the fact that, quote, the wrong guy, a 1997 straight to video comedy

[1:37:30] co-written by and starring Dave Foley that I for years would defend

[1:37:34] as a genuinely good movie that just fell through the cracks is actually a bad one.

[1:37:38] Oh, my college girlfriend loved that movie.

[1:37:40] A good, bad one.

[1:37:41] There's a really great scene in it.

[1:37:42] Make no mistake.

[1:37:43] Well, I'm going to let's I have words on this, but

[1:37:47] but a good, bad one.

[1:37:49] Make no mistake, but bad.

[1:37:50] Nonetheless, should I just explain that scenes before you talk about

[1:37:55] my defenses with my defenses would include that Dave Foley was an underappreciated

[1:38:00] talent, that calm fury was this was strong as an unnamed assassin.

[1:38:05] And the script was as strong or stronger than most mainstream

[1:38:08] big screen comedies waiting on a curve.

[1:38:11] I see. Really, though, it's just a goofy comedy where Dave Foley

[1:38:14] sticks his head under a fire hose and tries to use in a bag.

[1:38:18] Jones is a passable alias.

[1:38:19] But it meant a lot to me during a tumultuous teenage episode.

[1:38:23] So have any of you ever been Stockholm syndrome by a bad movie

[1:38:27] into defending slash classifying it as a good one

[1:38:31] rather than just a bad movie you really liked?

[1:38:33] Liam, last name withheld.

[1:38:35] Now, I I think the wrong guy is a good movie.

[1:38:40] That's all right.

[1:38:40] So I'm going to I mean, to call to call Dave Foley

[1:38:43] an underrated talent seems crazy since everybody loves him

[1:38:47] and he was the star of a network television show.

[1:38:51] He is. How many more accolades?

[1:38:53] I mean, I mean, there's a star of a bug's life.

[1:38:57] I don't know anyone who has a different favorite kid in the hall.

[1:39:00] That's true.

[1:39:02] I don't know.

[1:39:03] Maybe Kevin McDonald or Scott or Scott.

[1:39:05] When I was when I was watching the show regularly, it was Bruce McCullough.

[1:39:10] Really? Yeah.

[1:39:11] I think that's changed with those weird beatnik poems that he would do.

[1:39:14] Yeah, I don't know. I was going through some shit.

[1:39:17] I mean, they're all pretty great.

[1:39:18] I love every member.

[1:39:19] They all get McDonald's.

[1:39:20] That fucking beer.

[1:39:21] The vacation beard sketch is my favorite.

[1:39:23] That's so funny.

[1:39:27] Just didn't he falls to his death?

[1:39:29] The beard goes like the never put salt in your eyes.

[1:39:33] Kevin, we know that's so good.

[1:39:36] Let's just talk about getting all guys. Great show.

[1:39:39] I want to go back.

[1:39:40] I got to go back and watch all the DVDs.

[1:39:41] It's a great show.

[1:39:43] Anyway, so movies that we like

[1:39:46] or have liked but are not good is that we're getting?

[1:39:49] Yeah, I mean, I tend to I tend to be in the like no no guilty pleasures camp.

[1:39:54] Like I tend to think that

[1:39:56] if I like a movie, then I will defend it as a good movie.

[1:40:00] I know that there are movies that I like that are stupid.

[1:40:05] I won't say that they're bad, but they're certainly stupid.

[1:40:08] I know there are movies that I like that other people don't like.

[1:40:10] Yeah.

[1:40:11] And there's – I feel like I've been – like I've enjoyed seeing movies in the movie theater

[1:40:16] and tricked myself into thinking that meant the movie was good as opposed to I enjoyed the experience of like –

[1:40:23] Oh, sure.

[1:40:24] I mean, fuck, the Star Wars prequels almost fall into that category.

[1:40:27] That was like when I was a kid when Mars Attacks came out.

[1:40:30] For my birthday, I went with a bunch of kids to go see Mars Attacks and like I had a lot of fun watching with them,

[1:40:35] but am I – like Mars Attacks is not the worst movie in the world, but like I'm never going to go out of my way to watch Mars Attacks again.

[1:40:41] I watched that – when I first saw it in the theater, I didn't like it that much,

[1:40:46] and I think I like it more on a more recent viewing than I thought I would.

[1:40:50] Certainly, it's – I think we live in a world where a movie that's basically just a string of nonsense jokes around alien invasion has more of a place than it once did.

[1:40:59] Also, like when I was a kid, that movie like offended my sensibilities because it was so unpredictable.

[1:41:05] Like I'm just like what is going on?

[1:41:08] Like all of the people that I thought would survive this movie are dying

[1:41:11] and like all these random like second-tier talents are surviving the entire film.

[1:41:18] Like and I think that's the point of the movie.

[1:41:20] I think the movie exists to disquiet you in that way.

[1:41:23] I guess so, but I have an idea of a movie that I like but I know is a bad movie,

[1:41:28] and while watching it, I'm like this is a bad movie, but I'm still kind of into it,

[1:41:33] and that would have to be a little movie called Omen 3, The Final Conflict,

[1:41:39] in which that's the one where they take it all the way to the point that Damien,

[1:41:44] the son from the Omen movies, is president of the United States

[1:41:47] and is using that power to get kind of – to find the next coming of Christ as a baby

[1:41:54] and looking for magic daggers to stab it to death with,

[1:41:57] and it's a crazy movie that ends with them killing Damien and then literally Christ returns,

[1:42:05] and it ends with the second coming, and that's the end of the series,

[1:42:08] and it's not a very good movie, but Sam Neill is so scene-chewing as President Damien,

[1:42:15] and I just admire that the filmmakers are like, hey, yeah, you know what?

[1:42:20] Let's make Damien the president of the United States.

[1:42:23] It's a crazy concept, but it's not a good movie.

[1:42:28] Bad movie that I like.

[1:42:31] There's a movie. It's called Cheeky.

[1:42:35] It's about butts.

[1:42:37] It stars a lady with a butt.

[1:42:40] Didn't somebody send you that DVD on our podcast?

[1:42:43] I think so.

[1:42:45] But it's not like you're watching that movie and you're like, this is fun.

[1:42:48] I'm enjoying this story, even though it's not very good.

[1:42:50] You're just enjoying seeing butts.

[1:42:52] You weren't watching that. You're like, yeah, I hear this is really good.

[1:42:55] I've been reading some good reviews of Cheeky.

[1:42:57] Is that Nicolas Cage trying to rationalize this?

[1:43:00] I'm trying to do a Dan impression.

[1:43:03] He's in the video store, and he doesn't want to be seen going straight to the adult section.

[1:43:09] So he's kind of hovering around the part of the comedy section that's next to the adult section.

[1:43:14] This looks good.

[1:43:16] Next to Hard Bodies 2.

[1:43:18] California Hot Tub Company.

[1:43:21] Let's see.

[1:43:22] Some kind of car wash thing.

[1:43:24] My voice is neither nasal nor high.

[1:43:27] So what's this?

[1:43:29] Cheeky.

[1:43:30] I think I heard this was good.

[1:43:31] I'll just get the – and I'll rent another – I'll rent Pelican Brief too.

[1:43:36] Yeah, I'll just get these two.

[1:43:37] And then when he gets home, throws Pelican Brief in the garbage.

[1:43:40] I put it down the drain, the garbage.

[1:43:46] Like, oh, clumsy me.

[1:43:48] I microwaved this DVD, but I threw this thing in the garbage.

[1:43:51] I accidentally dropped Pelican Brief out the window of the car on the way home.

[1:43:54] I guess I have to watch this other one, Cheeky.

[1:43:57] It reminds me – there was a time when I was very – it was still pretty early in my going out with my now wife.

[1:44:04] And we went on a vacation with her family, and we were all, like, killing time before it was time to go out for dinner.

[1:44:11] And her dad turns on the TV and he lands on a channel that's showing the show Cheaters in which people use the show to catch their significant others cheating on them.

[1:44:22] And the host eggs them on to fight each other on camera, and he's like, what's this?

[1:44:26] Let's just take a look and see what this is.

[1:44:29] And my wife is like, dad, you love this show.

[1:44:32] He was putting on this playlet of, like, the man who stumbled on Cheaters.

[1:44:36] Oh, that's amazing.

[1:44:38] And it's totally not in character for him to want to see that show.

[1:44:42] You're watching him go through an improv routine.

[1:44:45] To rationalize – instead of being like –

[1:44:48] Anybody got a character?

[1:44:49] Okay, my character is a guy who's never seen Cheaters before.

[1:44:52] So Nicolas Cage is like – and there's nobody else in the house but him.

[1:44:56] But he has to go through this elaborate play acting to rationalize why he's sitting down to watch Cheeky because he can't admit he just wants to masturbate to it.

[1:45:03] When I went to put the DVD in the DVD player, it was the uncooked bag of Redenbacher's.

[1:45:09] I had microwaved the DVD copy of Pelican Brief.

[1:45:12] I somehow got the popcorn mixed up with the DVD, so I guess I'm going to have to watch this other DVD, which I –

[1:45:18] And eat uncooked popcorn.

[1:45:21] Eat the kernel.

[1:45:23] It's going to be hell on my teeth.

[1:45:26] I'm going to need some dental work after this.

[1:45:29] Silly old Nick Cage.

[1:45:31] Nothing to be done.

[1:45:32] Yes, I'm just going to watch Cheeky and chow down on this unpopped popcorn.

[1:45:37] He's so committed to – he's alone.

[1:45:41] He has no one to testify to.

[1:45:44] But he's so committed to the fiction that he has to eat unpopped popcorn.

[1:45:48] Do you otherwise want me to admit that he was going to rent Cheeky the whole time?

[1:45:52] He said the dentist.

[1:45:54] The dentist is like, you really screwed up your teeth, Nick Cage.

[1:45:57] Let me spin you a tale.

[1:45:59] It was a long story.

[1:46:00] It certainly had nothing to do with me wanting to by myself achieve orgasm.

[1:46:04] That was not the intention at any point.

[1:46:07] I mean to say – I'd be lying if I said it didn't end in that, but never motivated.

[1:46:12] It was not premeditated.

[1:46:13] It all started when I didn't have enough gas to make it to the Blockbuster video at home, so I went to Family Video.

[1:46:21] I had to go to the local video town, which is not as widespread a chain.

[1:46:27] I don't like it as much because it has the large pornography section.

[1:46:30] I don't take my kids there, but, I mean, I have an account there, sure, because sometimes maybe you run out of gas on the way to Blockbuster, which does not carry pornography, and that's why I prefer to go there.

[1:46:41] But in this case, I had to go to this one, and it was – I don't know if maybe the lights were turned off and I picked up the wrong box or I was misread it.

[1:46:51] I don't know.

[1:46:52] Maybe someone called out my name, and I was meant to pick up the box for Pretty in Pink or The Great Mouse Detective, and instead I picked up this box for Cheeky and, of course, Pelican Brief, my favorite film.

[1:47:04] I take it home, and maybe someone called out my name again while I was putting the popcorn.

[1:47:08] I would be loathe to admit the true demon in this story when I bought some Orville Redenbacher's microwave popcorn.

[1:47:16] Certainly, I bought it at the movie theater just – the video store, just one bag.

[1:47:21] For a single movie viewing.

[1:47:23] Someone who was intending to masturbate would never get popcorn because you would want your hands free to manipulate your genitals.

[1:47:30] It would be – and it would be truly disgusting.

[1:47:34] Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense.

[1:47:36] No, no more questions.

[1:47:37] Me, Detective – me, Dentist Columbo.

[1:47:41] Oh, just one more thing.

[1:47:44] Just one more question.

[1:47:46] Had you rented this movie Cheeky before?

[1:47:48] I had made that mistake.

[1:47:50] Oh, OK. Case closed. Take him away, boys.

[1:47:54] You're living in a dystopian future where it's against the law to masturbate.

[1:47:58] Oh, wow.

[1:47:59] You'd think they'd ban pornography.

[1:48:01] No, we skipped right ahead.

[1:48:03] It was a real chicken or the egg thing.

[1:48:05] We're really into entrapment.

[1:48:10] So anyway, Dan, was there another letter or was that –

[1:48:12] No, there's two, but we weren't running so long.

[1:48:16] I'm going to just – I'll just do one of these.

[1:48:18] OK.

[1:48:19] This is from Connor, last name withheld.

[1:48:22] Connor McCloud.

[1:48:23] I was going to say, too.

[1:48:25] Hey, floppers.

[1:48:26] I recently watched Andrei Rublev.

[1:48:29] OK.

[1:48:30] Something in the strenuous pacing and long stretches of silence felt familiar.

[1:48:34] Even though I hadn't seen any other Tartofsky films,

[1:48:37] it all came together when I learned that Andrei Konchalovsky,

[1:48:43] a co-writer on Andrei Rublev, went on to direct Tango and Cash.

[1:48:48] Do you see any foreshadowing of the great film in early Tartofsky movies?

[1:48:53] Or conversely, do you see any influences of Tango and Cash

[1:48:56] that could have come from working with Tartofsky?

[1:48:58] Love, Connor, last name withheld.

[1:49:00] I didn't realize that, but I love it.

[1:49:03] I mean I know that they had a lot of problems on the set of Tango and Cash

[1:49:06] because they were working with the director.

[1:49:08] They didn't feel really understood the type of movie they were making.

[1:49:11] I will say, I don't know if you guys have seen Andrei Rublev.

[1:49:14] Nope.

[1:49:15] Is there anything like Tango and Cash?

[1:49:17] It is very not like Tango and Cash,

[1:49:19] but considering it is a long film about a very bleak period in Russian history

[1:49:25] and one – and kind of the way that man creates religious art

[1:49:30] to either escape that or try to find some grace in the world,

[1:49:35] there's a sequence in it.

[1:49:36] If you don't want to sit through all of Andrei Rublev,

[1:49:38] and maybe you don't want to,

[1:49:39] there's a sequence in it in which a town is casting a bell for a church

[1:49:44] and this young guy whose father was a bell caster.

[1:49:47] He says, I'll do it. I'll do it.

[1:49:49] And the way that sequence is paced feels like a Hollywood movie.

[1:49:53] It feels like this is the protagonist.

[1:49:55] He's got this crazy goal.

[1:49:56] He's going to push it through as hard as he can.

[1:50:00] making these people work in a way they've never worked before

[1:50:02] and it feels really suspenseful whether this bell is going to get finished and

[1:50:05] actually ring or crack when they finish it and like that

[1:50:09] sequence feels like a hollywood sequence

[1:50:12] the rest of the movie does not and then the guy

[1:50:15] pushes down the bell maker and puts a chair over his head

[1:50:19] and says something about spaghetti uh well i mean that's the same he doesn't

[1:50:25] put a chair over his head i think you're talking about the scene where

[1:50:28] the cop the dirty cop goes into the fridge to take out his food and that's

[1:50:31] right when he closes the door sylvester sloan standing right there and he goes

[1:50:34] well i sit from what you're eating i see you haven't been watching you

[1:50:37] watching your weight guess you're too busy looking at the drugs you planted to

[1:50:41] set us up something like that that's right but uh

[1:50:45] andre rubilev it's worth watching the bell casting

[1:50:47] okay part of it i mean the whole movie is worth it but

[1:50:51] if you're gonna see anything see the bell casting again what you missed at

[1:50:54] home was well ellie was talking about andre rubilev

[1:50:57] uh stewart was loudly paging through his copy of a night of the seven kingdoms

[1:51:01] i'm the one who brought up the film as if i wasn't directly addressing a

[1:51:06] letter and as if we weren't talking about

[1:51:09] when that when that came up elliot started salivating

[1:51:12] and couldn't couldn't wait he was chomping at the bit

[1:51:16] to start talking talking about it because i really like that sequence

[1:51:19] especially i've talked about tango and cash though that was a perfect

[1:51:22] opportunity i mean it was a literal invitation to

[1:51:26] that's true okay well andre rubilev is called the bell

[1:51:31] okay cool any more letters dan uh i said expressly that i was skipping

[1:51:37] the final okay let's get right to the next segment of this podcast is

[1:51:42] recommendation let's do this one super fast because it's late

[1:51:46] okay so you've been listening for a long time i haven't had a lot of time to

[1:51:49] watch movies lately other than uh rogue one twice more thoughts on that

[1:51:53] later uh on the show or not i don't know maybe

[1:51:58] afterwards whenever star wars minute gets to it

[1:52:00] yeah hopefully um and i have been at home

[1:52:04] playing a lot of nitro plus blasters and uh heroines infinite duel

[1:52:08] it's a lot of backstory for a quick recommendation

[1:52:11] plug for this for nitro plus blasters heroines infinite duel yeah

[1:52:16] uh it's super great and i but i'm gonna plug a movie that i

[1:52:22] hosted a screening of at the alamo draft house

[1:52:26] about a month ago uh called the gate it's a canadian horror movie from 1987

[1:52:32] starring steven dorf uh you might remember him as a dwarf

[1:52:36] goes fishing yep as a uh as a blood sucker from the

[1:52:41] first blade movie and this movie is when he was a little

[1:52:44] baby boy and it's about a couple of young teens

[1:52:47] who uh get involved with a portal to hell opening in their backyard

[1:52:52] uh while their parents are out of town and it

[1:52:56] is a lot of fun um it's very much of a time

[1:53:00] the special effects are great it still features one of my all-time favorite

[1:53:04] special effects shots and uh yeah so if you're looking for a

[1:53:07] movie that's pretty light and has some cool special

[1:53:10] effects and uh yeah it's it's pretty fun go check

[1:53:14] it out the gate uh i'm gonna recommend a movie that i

[1:53:19] saw around the holidays and is vaguely holiday related in its first hour

[1:53:23] although not for the rest of the movie that is fanny and alexander which is

[1:53:27] ingmar bergman's final film that he directed that he wrote

[1:53:31] some others after that it's three hours long unless you're

[1:53:34] watching the television version which is closer to five

[1:53:37] and including jaleel white's in it as a recall yeah

[1:53:40] and the california raisins oh good point good point i'm sorry you're right

[1:53:46] he calls on stephano kellen to urkel bot but uh the first

[1:53:50] time bergman's the passion of urkel bot

[1:53:55] the first hour is a mostly happy but bittersweet

[1:53:59] sort of uh portrait of a holiday a christmas holiday

[1:54:06] um around the turn of the century and uh but then it turns into kind of a

[1:54:12] harrowing story for the second two hours of a woman and her

[1:54:17] children uh being in a sort of abusive household

[1:54:21] led by a man of the cloth uh so that's kind of hard to get through

[1:54:26] but there's a uh take heart there's a magical realism

[1:54:32] sort of rescue at the end and the movie ends on a hopeful note

[1:54:36] but uh i thought it was a really beautiful movie

[1:54:39] um it runs the spectrum of human emotion it's very honest

[1:54:44] uh it uh looks beautiful it's a movie where the cinematography is not

[1:54:50] doing anything sort of obviously showy to make it look beautiful

[1:54:54] but it's beautiful nonetheless um and uh i don't know i hadn't seen a

[1:55:00] lot of bergman i'd seen uh uh wild strawberries and smiles of a

[1:55:05] summer night but this uh was was quite a film and i recommend it

[1:55:09] highly and i'm gonna recommend a newer movie

[1:55:13] huh what that people may have already heard

[1:55:16] of yeah it doesn't really need my recommendation but of the new

[1:55:20] slate of movies that i've seen i really enjoyed i guess enjoyed is the wrong

[1:55:24] word i found really powerful uh the movie moonlight directed by barry

[1:55:28] jenkins which is a set of three chapters kind of in the

[1:55:33] life of a first young boy and then young man

[1:55:37] growing up uh in a tough situation with a drug addicted mother who

[1:55:44] had has a i guess i don't want to talk too much about what happens in the kid's

[1:55:48] life because it's not like there's a suspenseful plot

[1:55:50] but the way that the character's life and path unfolds

[1:55:55] is there's something in discovering it as it goes on that's both

[1:56:01] very like painful to watch but also surprising and interesting but uh

[1:56:06] moonlight i thought it was really really good

[1:56:09] and yeah he barry jenkins of course made a

[1:56:12] previous movie medicine for melancholy featuring friend of the flophouse wyatt

[1:56:16] synek and while not quite as polished a film

[1:56:20] as moonlight it's still worth seeing so i'll recommend both moonlight and

[1:56:23] medicine for melancholy so two very classy recommendations and

[1:56:27] the gate hey everybody's allowed to have their own

[1:56:31] thing dan yeah dude so uh hey guys we finally did a show

[1:56:37] that was shorter than the movie we were but it's but

[1:56:40] barely fucking long barely it's still like a long episode

[1:56:43] first off if you want to listen to some if you want to listen to some better

[1:56:46] shorter podcasts go over to maximum fun there's a bunch of

[1:56:49] other podcasts there that's our network uh there's some great ones if you want

[1:56:53] to listen to one of us that's like super longer

[1:56:56] we just did a guest uh episode of the adventure zone three and a half hours

[1:57:00] long and boy

[1:57:05] if only you guys had figured out the mystery faster well when i when i

[1:57:08] listening to it i was like why are we wasting so much time ordering drinks in

[1:57:12] this bar when we could have just said okay we go to the party the next day

[1:57:16] now welcome to my world i think i literally said at one point like all

[1:57:20] right we're 30 minutes in and we haven't gotten our mission yet

[1:57:25] but anyway max fun has a lot of great podcasts and

[1:57:28] you should listen to them yeah and we're going to be part of a show in february

[1:57:32] the very very fun day a one-day event uh with max fun podcast

[1:57:37] and a couple of local chicago podcasts in chicago

[1:57:40] february 11th um and i think that's it for plugs if i could put in a plug for

[1:57:45] my other show presidents are people too which is available either through

[1:57:49] audible or if you're an amazon prime member you can get it that way or it's

[1:57:52] on itunes now presidents are people too it's a great show

[1:57:55] picking up some steam thanks it's a very different show than this it is

[1:57:58] a it has content it has actual factual content it's much shorter it's much

[1:58:03] shorter each episode is less than a half hour long

[1:58:06] and people trim elliot's voice down but you have an editor and if you want to

[1:58:10] and you know what if you can go on want to go on itunes and review the flop

[1:58:14] house where presidents are people too i went on recently that was mistake and

[1:58:17] saw how many reviews are about how irritating my voice is

[1:58:20] so if you like these shows how pleasant alexis's voice is uh

[1:58:24] i mean that was implied i guess just go on and give us some reviews or

[1:58:28] talk about on twitter how much you like the flop house i don't know go out there

[1:58:31] and viral market for us word of mouth people

[1:58:34] earn your keep earn your keep uh but uh that's all for this time

[1:58:41] around in the delightful place we call the flop house

[1:58:45] uh new thing you're doing i don't know i'm just trying to make it up dan's

[1:58:50] always looking for his new closing line but uh for the flop house i've been dan

[1:58:54] mccoy i am stewart wellington years from now the

[1:58:59] tribes will tell a legend of a man named elliot caylin but it'll be a

[1:59:03] different guy than me who had the same name

[1:59:05] good night everyone bye

[1:59:16] hot hot nudity this is the level hot nudity here everyone

[1:59:23] this is the level of which i'm operating tonight

[1:59:25] okay extra extra

[1:59:29] get your red hot nudity very titillating

[1:59:36] people without their clothes no clothes or your money back

[1:59:40] see the parts you don't normally see

[1:59:45] usually you have to imagine nudity like this

[1:59:49] everybody will be wearing suits birthday suits

[1:59:52] society has deemed your natural interest in these parts shameful

[1:59:58] pay to be relieved of that

[2:00:00] socially-induced guilt for but a moment.

[2:00:04] This is all gold, so...

[2:00:06] Fool's gold.

[2:00:08] The Joker, of course, the ultimate fool.

[2:00:11] The Clown Prince of Crime.

[2:00:14] Do we just solve a Riddler's Riddle?

[2:00:17] Yeah, it's like in the Batman show,

[2:00:19] they would make up their explanations.

[2:00:21] There's my favorite part of Batman 66,

[2:00:24] is when he goes,

[2:00:26] that shark was almost pulling my leg

[2:00:28] like some kind of riddle.

[2:00:29] The Riddler!

[2:00:30] It's like, no dude, that does not count.

[2:00:35] Batman just goes and like,

[2:00:37] it's like beating the shit out of the Riddler.

[2:00:39] The Riddler's like, I don't know what I did!

[2:00:41] I am innocent of this!

[2:00:48] You ready, Stu?

[2:00:49] Hell yeah.

[2:00:51] The Don comes in on little cat feet.

[2:00:53] Of course, Catwoman!

[2:00:56] Every morning, that's how he reacts.

[2:01:02] The first time he sees two people,

[2:01:04] he goes, two faces.

[2:01:06] Two-face, of course.

[2:01:12] Bruce Wayne, you actually have

[2:01:13] a sort of associative disorder

[2:01:15] in which you associate just random occurrences

[2:01:18] with these villains you seem to have met

[2:01:20] that nobody else has seen.

[2:01:22] Oh shit, I'm running late.

[2:01:24] I'm looking at my watch.

[2:01:25] A watch is a clock.

[2:01:26] It was Clock King!

[2:01:28] He made me late for this movie!

[2:01:31] What's the date today?

[2:01:32] Let me check.

[2:01:33] Calendar man.

[2:01:37] And the killer was wearing Crocs.

[2:01:39] Of course, Killer Croc!

[2:01:42] So Dan, should we do one of those intro things?

[2:01:44] This is all bloops for the ending, right?

[2:01:46] These are some prime bloops.

[2:01:49] Yeah, they're really going to want to stick around.

[2:01:53] We're going to have to put a fucking thing on the box

[2:01:55] so people know they should stick around

[2:01:57] for the unrated bloops at the end.

[2:01:59] Stay tuned for the deleted scenes.

[2:02:01] Don't leave when the credits roll

[2:02:02] because the fun has just begun.

[2:02:03] Make sure to put the kids to bed when the credits roll

[2:02:05] so they don't hear these fucking unrated bloops.

[2:02:10] Maximumfun.org

[2:02:12] Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

[2:02:14] Listener supported.

[2:02:16] Hi, this is Griffin McElroy.

[2:02:17] Hi, this is Rachel McElroy.

[2:02:18] And we're the hosts of Rosebuddies.

[2:02:19] It's a podcast about the Bachelor family of products.

[2:02:21] We watch The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise.

[2:02:24] Yes, it is garbage television,

[2:02:26] but we're the king and queen of this garbage pile.

[2:02:28] We're the raccoons in charge around here.

[2:02:30] So join us on Tuesdays.

[2:02:31] Because the TV show's on Mondays.

[2:02:33] And basically we'll recap what we saw

[2:02:35] and we'll just sort of scoop the garbage around us

[2:02:37] and make a little fort out of it.

[2:02:39] No viewing required.

[2:02:40] But it's a good TV show.

[2:02:42] What are you doing?

[2:02:49] What are you doing?

Ep. #221 - Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

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