Ep. #222 - Home Sweet Hell

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Home Sweet Hell.

[0:05] A movie I did not believe existed.

[0:07] I don't think we watched a real movie. Like, what did we just watch? What was that?

[0:13] I forgot already.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:43] Hey, everybody! I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:48] David Lee Roth over there, I guess.

[0:50] Hey!

[0:51] And over here, Elliot Kalin, too? Is this some kind of Flophouse reunion?

[0:57] Guys, you guys have aged really well over the last...

[1:03] Wow, the energy level on the podcast is already dipping.

[1:05] It dropped.

[1:06] Going back up precipitously as soon as I started talking.

[1:09] Belly flop, yeah.

[1:11] So, Dan, let's do this reunion bit that kind of died on the vine.

[1:15] Okay, sure.

[1:16] You're saying we aged well.

[1:17] Yeah.

[1:18] What do you do now, Dan?

[1:19] I mean, back in the olden days of The Flophouse, you were just kind of like this...

[1:22] You were a successful TV writer.

[1:24] A successful TV writer, but kind of a bad boy on the side?

[1:26] Mm-hmm.

[1:27] Well, have you reformed your ways, or are you dead from a drug overdose now?

[1:30] Now I'm a professional bad boy. I'm a TV writer on the side.

[1:33] Okay.

[1:34] So we pay you to be a bad boy?

[1:36] That's right.

[1:37] What does that do?

[1:38] So, wait, we the American people do, or just me and Elliot do it?

[1:41] No, no, it's...

[1:42] Is it a tax thing?

[1:43] It's not like a...

[1:44] Your tax dollars come to me...

[1:46] It's not like a Patreon account for just being a bad boy?

[1:49] No, I'm sure there is one of those.

[1:51] Like a Kickstarter page just for a trip to Vegas you're going to take?

[1:54] There's got to be a Patreon who's just like...

[1:57] Some dude who's just like,

[1:58] I'm really awesome and a badass and I wear hats,

[2:00] and people are like,

[2:01] Whoa, anything for you, Hat Lord.

[2:07] One of the lesser British horror movies, Hat Lord.

[2:11] It's British, huh?

[2:12] Don't put that hat on that way, you cold...

[2:15] Hat Lord, all dimension.

[2:17] Okay, because there's a lord.

[2:19] Oh, because of...

[2:21] You get it?

[2:22] It's a...

[2:25] Dan, you getting in on the sound effects stuff?

[2:29] Oh, wow.

[2:30] That's the sound the Hat Lord makes when he appears.

[2:33] So, what have you been up to, Elliot?

[2:36] What, since the last episode?

[2:37] No, we're still doing the bit, asshole.

[2:39] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[2:42] I own a zoo.

[2:44] Yeah, we bought a zoo.

[2:45] Just like the film with the same name.

[2:47] I was so inspired by it that I bought one.

[2:51] Unfortunately, it's a zoobly zoo,

[2:53] so it's just a bunch of people in costumes.

[2:57] Well, magic and wonder are waiting for you there,

[2:59] so I'm led to believe.

[3:00] You have been led to believe wrong.

[3:03] Stuart, what about you?

[3:04] How have you been filling the time since the last time?

[3:06] Oh, just riding the rails.

[3:10] And it's not that different from damn professional bad boy McCoy.

[3:14] Yeah, he found that hilarious.

[3:16] Well, yeah, I don't have, like, a Patreon account for it.

[3:19] I'm just, you know, just eating stuff out of soup cans.

[3:26] I sometimes put sandwiches in my soup cans.

[3:30] I mean, once you get used to it,

[3:31] you put all kinds of food on plates.

[3:36] A soup can is my plate.

[3:37] Yeah, you're right.

[3:38] Good point.

[3:39] Touche.

[3:40] Touche.

[3:41] I got you.

[3:42] You win this logic contest, king of the hobos.

[3:46] Sometimes I have to hold a mirror up to your button-down values.

[3:49] What is this?

[3:50] Whiff honors?

[3:51] Because a hobo has just bested my college education.

[3:54] Are you Joe Pesci?

[3:57] You know, I'm a Joe Pesci on the streets,

[3:59] a Brendan Fraser of the sheets.

[4:01] That doesn't make any sense.

[4:04] Yeah, Brendan Fraser.

[4:05] He was in that movie, right?

[4:06] Yeah, he was.

[4:08] Correct me if I'm wrong.

[4:09] Whiff honors.

[4:11] It's right there.

[4:12] If you want to do a Brendan Fraser college film festival,

[4:15] you play that and what's that?

[4:18] School ties?

[4:19] School ties.

[4:20] I thought that was like a boarding school.

[4:24] A college is basically a boarding school.

[4:26] It was about neckties that you wear to school.

[4:29] School ties.

[4:30] Oh, Dan, I've got so much to explain to you.

[4:32] I've got so much to explain to you.

[4:33] Is that the one?

[4:34] No, that's Toy Soldiers.

[4:36] School ties is the anti-Semitism one.

[4:38] Toy Soldiers is the one with...

[4:40] Which one's the pro-Semitism one?

[4:43] I mean, the movie is pro-Semitism.

[4:45] It's against anti-Semitism.

[4:47] It's not Jude Seuss or any of the Nazi films.

[4:52] So, yeah, I'm just this cool hobo character now.

[4:58] Just trying to keep away from the train security.

[5:04] The bulls.

[5:05] I'm looking for hobo code scratched into post that says,

[5:09] does play Warhammer here.

[5:12] Nice gamer here.

[5:15] Perfect, I'll take advantage of their hospitality.

[5:18] Avoid, bad loser.

[5:19] That's how I talk now.

[5:20] And you're floating along the air from the scent of pies.

[5:23] Now I have this image now.

[5:25] Pizza pies, because I'm a 21st century hobo.

[5:28] Yeah, the food, because that's what a new food...

[5:30] I love that album of yours, 28th Century Hobo.

[5:33] I have an image of your Saturday Night Live audition.

[5:35] What characters have you brought?

[5:36] This is my new character, futuristic cool hobo.

[5:40] I think there's too much going on in this concept.

[5:44] Wow, I think you are giving the producers of Saturday Night Live a lot of credit.

[5:48] Actually, if you walked in with the character of futuristic cool hobo,

[5:50] and it's sunglasses, a backwards cap, and a bindle,

[5:54] and you're talking about how you gotta catch the hoverboards to get from town to town,

[5:58] you would be on SNL tomorrow.

[6:00] They would love it.

[6:01] If you also walked in and just fucked up all my lines and broken shit,

[6:04] they'd be like, perfect, you're just what we're looking for.

[6:07] But what celebrities could do?

[6:08] You could do Seth Rogen, you could do Josh Brolin,

[6:11] you could do... I bet you could do a Timothy Olyphant,

[6:14] if they were going to justify a sketch.

[6:16] I could do a combination of those characters.

[6:19] Seth Brolin.

[6:20] Yeah, he's the ultimate bro.

[6:22] Do you guys see the hamster wheel working in my head?

[6:25] Wait a minute, and all you did was take the first name of one and the last name of another

[6:29] and put them together.

[6:31] Yeah, that character would make Lorne Michaels flip out of frame

[6:35] into a bowl of popcorn one of his interns made for him.

[6:39] Yeah, okay, you put some real Lorne Michaels details in there.

[6:42] Yeah, that's a thing.

[6:44] They call it the Bazooka Joe effect.

[6:46] When it's just your feet flying out of the frame?

[6:48] Yeah.

[6:49] When a joke is so powerful it knocks you over and hurts you.

[6:52] Like you were shot by a bazooka.

[6:54] Joe.

[6:56] So, Dan, what are we doing on this podcast?

[6:58] Oh, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[7:03] What did we just do?

[7:05] What was that?

[7:07] That was a fever dream that we all had collectively.

[7:10] Oh, I forgot.

[7:11] We all took ayahuasca before we started recording.

[7:14] You guys can hear this too, right?

[7:16] Dan created a sweat lodge for us out of used Blue Apron food containers

[7:24] and created smoke from his collection of, I don't know, what kind of underpants?

[7:28] Mack Weldon underpants or something?

[7:29] Yeah, I was burning Mack Weldon underpants.

[7:31] Yeah, on Squarespace.

[7:33] Oh, wow.

[7:35] So, and, yeah, we began to hallucinate.

[7:38] We began to imagine what we thought was a movie and is, in fact, a movie, Dan, or not a movie?

[7:44] Let's try to play America's favorite game, movie or not a movie.

[7:48] Perfect.

[7:49] This is the perfect example for it.

[7:51] When we spent, what, an hour and 40 minutes watching something, I'm not convinced it was a movie.

[7:56] You're going to have to show me, like, a receipt from someone buying a ticket to see what we just watched.

[8:02] It's almost like I believe you and your Hollywood friends got together Jimmy Kimmel style and made up a crappy movie just to punk us.

[8:10] I almost want you to pause your podcast player and then tweet me the name of the movie that we watched because I don't even remember it.

[8:19] Well, it's Home Sweet Hell.

[8:20] Okay, thank you.

[8:22] So don't do the thing I just – if you already did it, delete the tweet.

[8:27] That was that public service campaign, delete the tweet.

[8:30] Hey, if you say something you don't like, just delete the tweet.

[8:35] Let's look for a better Twitter.

[8:36] Hi, I'm Jack Twitter, creator of Twitter.

[8:40] Okay, continue.

[8:42] Sometimes we tweet something we think about later and we're like, why did I say that?

[8:46] So delete the tweet.

[8:48] It rhymes, so I remember it.

[8:51] Yeah, that's how rhyming works.

[8:53] Dan, what do you want to avoid?

[8:54] The Noid?

[8:55] When was the last time you saw a Domino's Pizza commercial about the Noid?

[8:58] That's true.

[8:59] And yet it is burned into your brain.

[9:01] Didn't they stop doing the Noid because a guy dressed as the Noid came in?

[9:05] No, a guy with the last name Noid.

[9:06] Yeah, I think he brought a gun to – who had mental problems.

[9:09] Brought a gun to a Domino's and was like, stop telling people to get up and stay away from me.

[9:13] Maybe because the Red Bull chased all the Noids into the waves.

[9:20] The last Noid.

[9:21] Except for one last Noid.

[9:23] Smashing pizzas all over the fucking place.

[9:26] He has to find a wizard and some other things.

[9:29] Yeah, with music by America.

[9:31] Sounds beautiful.

[9:33] So Dan, we watched a movie.

[9:34] What was it called?

[9:35] It was called Home Sweet Hell.

[9:37] What was this?

[9:38] Describe it to me, Dan.

[9:40] Tell me Home Sweet Hell.

[9:41] All right.

[9:42] So there's a lady called Katherine Heigl.

[9:45] That's her name in the movie?

[9:47] She's named Mona in the movie.

[9:49] OK.

[9:50] That's how you know.

[9:51] She's the boss.

[9:52] Hey.

[9:56] There's one Italian person in that show.

[9:58] I'm assuming you listeners are cracking up.

[10:00] and you're probably wondering why are Dan and Elliot not laughing, because Stuart made that joke a hundred times when we watched the movie.

[10:05] Yep, very much, and then would tell us, you could use that on the podcast, guys.

[10:09] And then I looked them in the eyes until they looked away.

[10:14] So, reoccurring Flop House favorite, Katherine Heigl, please.

[10:18] This is what, like the fourth or fifth movie she's been in for us?

[10:20] Yeah. At least three.

[10:22] We should send her some flowers or something.

[10:23] Yeah.

[10:25] And somebody should send us flowers, because we had our first ever Jim Belushi appearance on the Flop House.

[10:32] Whoa, finally.

[10:33] He finally lowered himself to make a bad movie.

[10:36] Yeah, his impeccable, otherwise impeccable record.

[10:39] But there's a lot of big stars in this, Katherine Heigl,

[10:41] Casey at the back, you know, he's bound to strike out one of these days.

[10:44] Yes, Patrick Wilson was in this, and Chai McBride.

[10:51] Jordana Brewster of the Fast and the Furious series.

[10:54] And recently on that People vs. O.J. TV show.

[10:58] So who won in that fight? The People or O.J.?

[11:02] I think that is a complicated question.

[11:04] American television viewers.

[11:08] I'll tell you who, Nielsen.

[11:11] Because it did, Bafo B.O.

[11:13] Oh, I'm sorry, I meant Nelson, the band.

[11:15] Who scored the show, The People vs. O.J.?

[11:22] So we're talking more nonsense than usual because we didn't care for the experience we just had.

[11:28] It's like a serial mom.

[11:30] It's one of my least favorite genres of film, which is the dark comedy,

[11:34] which usually means a movie without jokes,

[11:38] where there's a lot of unpleasant things that happen,

[11:41] but the soundtrack is like doot doot doot doot, doot doot doot doot doot,

[11:45] and the points it's making about whatever it's about.

[11:48] In this case, I guess like white suburban perfection are super blatant and obvious.

[11:54] Not as subtle as you've come to expect from Catherine Heigl's other performances.

[11:59] No, as we were watching it, and the opening of the movie felt like we were watching the opening to the show Weeds.

[12:05] The opening to the show Weeds was a subtle, delicate play compared to this.

[12:12] It was a slight twitch of the lip at the idea of conformity compared to this movie.

[12:21] You're not impugning dark comedies as a whole.

[12:25] It's more of this specific type of suburban black comedy.

[12:29] Specifically that, a movie about how underneath the surface of the suburbs, there's a lot of crazy shit,

[12:36] I feel like dark comedies are maybe the easiest genre to fuck up and to do badly.

[12:42] It's very hard to do.

[12:44] Comedy in general is very difficult for people that don't have sense of humor to properly do.

[12:50] That's a good point too, but dark comedy in particular because it's a very thin line between,

[12:55] this is crazy and pessimistic, but it's funny, and I'm a little shocked by it.

[13:01] It's a very thin line between that and this movie where Katherine Heigl stabs a Scotsman with a crazy accent,

[13:09] and then uses a katana blade to kill a topless woman, and there's blood all over.

[13:17] Sounds great.

[13:18] Well, that's the thing.

[13:19] You describe a movie where Kevin McKitt gets killed, and then a topless woman gets killed with a katana blade.

[13:25] I'm probably going to sign up for that movie.

[13:28] Know thyself, Socrates said, I think.

[13:30] No.

[13:34] This is after Katherine Heigl has already stuffed the severed head of a woman that she…

[13:40] Dismembered.

[13:41] Dismembered after beating to death with a hammer after her husband poisoned her,

[13:46] and stuffs that into the freezer of these criminals.

[13:49] It's a movie that – this kind of movie thinks that outrageousness and blood equals fun.

[13:58] If it's done well, it can be very shocking and fun, but when it's done poorly like this, I just find it disgusting.

[14:04] Yeah, if it's not funny, then you're just like, this movie did not earn just murdering a bunch of people in front of me.

[14:12] And maybe it's because we grew up in the 90s, the golden age of bad, dark comedies,

[14:17] when it felt like there was always a new movie coming out that involved a prostitute accidentally being killed,

[14:24] or someone deciding that they wanted to poison their way to the top of a company, or…

[14:28] Or somebody running around with a duffel bag that has eight heads in it.

[14:32] Exactly. There you go. There was this…

[14:34] Eight heads. I don't believe it.

[14:36] Seven heads.

[14:37] In one duffel bag?

[14:38] Oh, you need to watch this VHS tape I got.

[14:42] What's it called?

[14:43] It's called With Honors with Joe Pesci.

[14:45] Eight Heads and a Duffel Bag does star Joe Pesci though, so…

[14:49] But it's the kind of movie, I feel like, between the release of Pulp Fiction and the release of The Matrix,

[14:57] when all the people who were making shitty Pulp Fiction ripoffs started making shitty Matrix ripoffs,

[15:03] there was this era when it was like, I guess we'll make a comedy.

[15:06] Get me a ton of fake blood and a hitman with a gun and we'll dismember something.

[15:11] Look, I need to know what I can do in Denver when I'm dead.

[15:16] I mean, that's not a comedy though. It isn't like a Tarantino ripoff.

[15:19] It's not a Tarantino ripoff. I'm just, you know, I'm dead. I've got a few days to kill.

[15:24] I've got a few days in the valley.

[15:26] I'm thinking about movies like…

[15:27] Yep, keep going. You got any more?

[15:29] Movies like Very Bad Things or The Last Supper or that kind of stuff.

[15:34] Where they were all trying to make To Die For, basically.

[15:37] Yeah, which even that…

[15:39] Even that's not very funny. It's not a funny movie.

[15:43] It's well made, but yeah, it doesn't…

[15:45] The satirical points it's making are, let's say, easy.

[15:49] Yes.

[15:50] The only thing I remember about that movie is that it makes liberal use of the song

[15:55] Dirty Laundry by Don Henley.

[16:00] So…

[16:01] Two words that I can't see and not sing dirty laundry.

[16:07] So this movie…

[16:08] Comes up a lot.

[16:09] So Catherine Heigl is married to Patrick Wilson.

[16:11] You may know him from Watchmen or Little Children or whatever.

[16:13] Anything he's been in.

[16:14] I think he was in The Conjurings.

[16:19] He's occasionally on things like Girls.

[16:21] He was in that one episode of Girls.

[16:23] He's good at playing a buff guy who's weak.

[16:26] I like him a lot.

[16:27] He's in the second season of Fargo playing a young Keith Carradine.

[16:30] Oh yeah, that's right.

[16:31] And he's good in that.

[16:32] He's good in that.

[16:33] That's a good way to put it.

[16:34] I disagree, but that's okay.

[16:35] No, I thought he was good in it.

[16:36] I think he's fine. I just think his character is really boring.

[16:39] I'll give you that.

[16:40] That's fair.

[16:42] He is good at playing a character who looks like he should be commanding.

[16:46] But is in fact weak on the inside.

[16:48] He's very good at that.

[16:49] That's true.

[16:51] So they're married.

[16:52] And his name is Don Champagne.

[16:54] He owns Champagne Furniture.

[16:56] Which it took me so long into the movie to realize was not a champagne store.

[16:59] It was a furniture store.

[17:01] And he employs his best friend, Jim Ballou.

[17:03] She has a salesman there.

[17:04] Now, Catherine Heigl is a very demanding wife.

[17:07] She is prickly and perfect in her ways.

[17:10] Or demanding.

[17:11] To the point of grotesque parody.

[17:14] You know, this is like a caricature of a human being.

[17:17] Like the most Stepford Wive-y Stepford.

[17:19] Stepford Wife.

[17:21] I guess except the Stepford Wives were all about pleasing their man.

[17:24] Yeah, and Catherine Heigl schedules sex, which apparently happens six times a year.

[17:29] For only 15 minutes each.

[17:31] It's scheduled for 930 to 945 in her book.

[17:36] What are they going to do with that extra 12 minutes?

[17:40] I thought I was going the other way.

[17:42] Hey, guys.

[17:43] Hey, wait a minute.

[17:44] Men are always thinking with the wrong head.

[17:45] Am I right?

[17:47] What's this thing on?

[17:48] Excuse me.

[17:49] Hello.

[17:50] Anyway, let me go do some more of my edgy out there stand-up comedy.

[17:55] You know, guys only want one thing.

[17:57] And women, they want a different thing.

[17:59] Elliot, where do you get that stained wife beater that you're wearing?

[18:03] Well, the term wife beater is inappropriate.

[18:05] But that's what it says written across the front of your Italian tea you're wearing.

[18:09] That's because that's a scarlet letter type thing.

[18:12] Oh, no.

[18:13] Yeah.

[18:14] That's terrible.

[18:15] So your comedy comes from a dark place is what you're saying.

[18:18] I didn't beat my wife.

[18:20] No.

[18:21] This stands for, will I forget everything?

[18:25] But everything also takes every road.

[18:34] And it just helps me remember that.

[18:36] You know what?

[18:37] I got a lot on my mind.

[18:38] But if I let it go, it'll come back to me.

[18:41] If I just follow life.

[18:43] Well, it checks out.

[18:44] I don't see anything wrong with what you just said.

[18:46] Yeah, that's the acronym.

[18:48] Phew.

[18:49] All right.

[18:50] So they – he is a – she is playing the type of truish character that she often complains about being cast as in other things.

[18:59] I feel like Katherine Heigl.

[19:00] And she is always browbeating her husband at the furniture store.

[19:03] And it's clear that – hey, wait a minute.

[19:04] Actually, it's – and they talk about how her parents helped pay for their house, helped pay the kids' bills.

[19:10] There's some mysterious parents that we don't get to meet.

[19:13] And there's a moment near the end where they're like, oh, my parents are going to come by for our son's birthday party.

[19:18] And Stuart was like, can't wait to meet these parents.

[19:20] They do not show up.

[19:22] They are forgotten completely.

[19:24] But anyway, he is – this guy, he just wants – he – look, his life is terrible.

[19:29] He's unhappy.

[19:30] Uh-oh.

[19:32] And then he hires some pretty young thing to start working at his furniture store.

[19:35] He gets very excited by the prospect of a handjob from his wife.

[19:39] A handjob.

[19:40] The most exciting sexual encounter.

[19:43] I mean it depends.

[19:45] Are you getting a handjob from like Poseidon?

[19:47] That would be pretty crazy.

[19:48] Yeah, don't yuck on a yum, dude.

[19:50] Don't yuck on a yum.

[19:53] I got to interrupt real quick.

[19:55] Wait, wait, hold on a second.

[19:57] What was the one you –

[20:00] The word from our sponsors?

[20:01] Is this what's happening?

[20:04] No, so I'm drinking this Modelo gelato.

[20:06] So it's a word from Modelo.

[20:07] Yeah, kind of.

[20:10] I haven't had one of these in a while.

[20:11] I'm shocked at how much it tastes like a perfect synthesis

[20:15] of a cheap beer and like watered down SpaghettiOs.

[20:20] So not an ad for Modelo?

[20:22] I mean, I don't know.

[20:23] That could be somebody's pleasure.

[20:25] Yeah, shouldn't yuck on a yum.

[20:27] Yeah, don't yuck on a yum.

[20:29] OK, so.

[20:30] But he is playing like kind of like a little bit stuffy,

[20:34] like a buttoned down suburban dad.

[20:37] He's a henpecked husband and a blue balled husband.

[20:41] In a way, a little bit it feels like we're

[20:44] getting to see what Patrick Wilson thinks

[20:47] like Midwestern, like suburban husbands are.

[20:51] Like anyone who's not in the creative field, I guess.

[20:56] Yeah, it feels a little, I mean.

[20:57] I don't know why we're putting this on Patrick Wilson.

[20:59] I mean, it's clear.

[21:00] He knew what he did.

[21:01] The three writers.

[21:02] The writing.

[21:03] Here's the thing.

[21:04] I want to say about the three writers.

[21:05] I want to just say one thing about the three writers.

[21:08] One of them has like 12 credits, none of them of note.

[21:12] But two of them have like one of them,

[21:14] their only other credit is a Facts of Life episode.

[21:17] And the other one, their only other credit is a

[21:19] Are You Afraid of the Dark episode.

[21:21] One, that's according to what, IMDb?

[21:23] IMDb.

[21:23] And it's not like IMDb is flawless.

[21:25] Two, they could be doing a ton of uncredited work

[21:28] behind the scenes.

[21:29] A lot of writers.

[21:30] What do you think after that one Facts of Life episode,

[21:32] you got a lot of script doctoring work?

[21:34] Yeah, or maybe he went and drew backgrounds

[21:37] for Katsuhiro Otomo.

[21:39] Yeah, that's probably it.

[21:41] He did that one Facts of Life for Are You Afraid of the Dark

[21:43] and he realized, this isn't for me.

[21:45] I better work in the studio of a manga great.

[21:50] What, Masamune Shiro is not hiring?

[21:52] All right, let's look at Katsuhiro Otomo.

[21:54] I guess I won't draw little stylized tiny versions

[21:58] of the characters like little cat face people.

[22:01] Oh man, I love that crap.

[22:04] So I think the fact that they don't have a lot of credits

[22:07] on IMDb doesn't necessarily mean they haven't been working.

[22:10] But that being said, the big faults in this movie

[22:13] are the writing, the directing, and the music.

[22:14] The acting is not such a huge problem.

[22:16] Yeah, I would imagine, like I'm blaming Patrick Wilson

[22:19] for a performance that I'm assuming is like the brain

[22:22] child of the director.

[22:23] It is a big performance.

[22:26] Almost everything's a big performance.

[22:27] All of it is big.

[22:28] But anyway, he hires a pretty young lady to work in his store.

[22:33] And before he knows it, she is all over him.

[22:36] And they're doing it all over the store.

[22:38] Which kind of makes sense, because Patrick Wilson's

[22:40] like a handsome dude.

[22:41] He's like a handsome, there's a section

[22:43] where he's really getting into shape and exercising a lot,

[22:45] because he's been energized by this affair.

[22:47] And it's like, he still looks like he was in pretty fine

[22:50] shape.

[22:51] The guy did not look like, I mean,

[22:52] maybe he was a little dad boddish, I guess.

[22:54] Yeah, but that's in now, dude, right?

[22:57] Right?

[22:58] I mean, because of gender double standards.

[23:01] But yeah, he's a handsome guy who owns his own business.

[23:04] Come on.

[23:06] Who owns his own business, yet later in the movie

[23:08] has difficulty coming up with $6,000.

[23:10] I guess liquid.

[23:11] Liquid.

[23:12] A lot of his assets are in the form of furniture stock

[23:14] right now.

[23:15] Oh, OK.

[23:16] And I don't know, like Etsy coupons and coupons.

[23:19] Yeah, I mean, you run a small.

[23:21] So you can buy stuff on Etsy.

[23:22] You run a small business.

[23:23] It's not like every dollar you make instantly goes in the bank.

[23:26] It's all tied up with Kickstarter,

[23:28] who's been backing and haven't been delivered yet.

[23:31] He's like, I'm just hoping they all go through,

[23:34] because I want those goodies that I'm promised.

[23:36] But I'm hoping they don't go through, so I get the money.

[23:38] Yeah.

[23:40] So anyway.

[23:41] That's kind of how Kickstarter works.

[23:43] In a way.

[23:45] So he starts an affair, and then she comes to him and says,

[23:47] uh-oh, I'm preggers.

[23:50] Oh, man, that's the worst.

[23:52] What am I going to do?

[23:53] And he tries offering her money on the advice

[23:55] of his good friend slash employee, the Jim Belush.

[23:59] And he says, according to Jim, I should give you some money.

[24:02] He did it.

[24:03] You did not.

[24:04] You did not.

[24:07] Stewart puts a pair of sunglasses on.

[24:09] Podcast over.

[24:10] Wait, really?

[24:12] We're packing it in, boys.

[24:14] We made the perfect joke.

[24:15] End the series.

[24:16] It's done.

[24:19] Because he says, you better take care of business.

[24:23] He was in a movie called Take Care of Business.

[24:25] What was that show?

[24:26] If you're a real man.

[24:29] What was the show he did with Michael Keaton a long time ago?

[24:33] Working Steps, was that it?

[24:35] Yeah.

[24:36] Well, he said K-9.

[24:38] That's right.

[24:38] Weird.

[24:39] Just a random letter and number combination.

[24:42] Doesn't mean anything.

[24:43] Doesn't mean a thing.

[24:45] He goes, hey, buddy, I got one.

[24:47] Here's what you need to do.

[24:48] Blues Brothers 2000.

[24:51] She's offended, but she'll take the money.

[24:54] And it's pretty obvious from the moment she starts coming on to him.

[24:59] Curly Suits.

[25:01] You're right, that's another Belush.

[25:03] There you got it.

[25:04] From the moment that she starts coming on to him, it is clear.

[25:08] Great movies.

[25:10] It is clear that she is setting him up for blackmail.

[25:13] That's the only possible explanation, except that he's kind of a handsome guy.

[25:17] And it turns out she is.

[25:18] She's girlfriend to a real sleazy guy, played by the director, right, of the movie?

[25:24] Is that what you think?

[25:25] No, one of the producers.

[25:27] My mistake.

[25:28] I think it was, hold on a second.

[25:30] So the idea of this woman coming on to him, and he throws himself

[25:36] into this new relationship.

[25:37] And once again, I think this performance could have been pulled off

[25:42] by somebody less handsome, like Patrick Wilson.

[25:47] Perhaps if they put a slightly more schlubby guy in this role, or if they'd taken some

[25:52] time to have this guy question, like spend a little more time questioning how this relationship

[25:57] started up.

[25:58] Yeah.

[25:59] Because it's literally, well, at one night, he masturbates to a picture of her and falls

[26:04] asleep in his office after missing out on a hand job, because his wife says, how about

[26:09] a hand job?

[26:10] And he takes his pants off, and he goes, no, I'll schedule it for later.

[26:13] And he assumes that's an invitation, which, I mean, I think, legally.

[26:15] That's entrapment.

[26:17] That's what that is.

[26:18] If someone walks up to you and says, how about a hand job?

[26:20] And you start taking your pants off, and they go, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[26:23] What gave you the idea that you should remove your pants?

[26:25] I mean, at that point, you've got a pretty good case, I guess, for your lawsuit.

[26:29] Yep.

[26:30] He says, well, you told me about the hand job, and you're holding a DVD copy of Entrapment.

[26:36] I'm taking you to sex court.

[26:39] That's Dan's late night Showtime show?

[26:40] Yeah.

[26:41] And it was a real, it was like a Playboy Channel show.

[26:43] Oh, it was on the Playboy Channel?

[26:45] I think so.

[26:46] Oh, Peak TV, you know?

[26:48] Peak TV!

[26:49] Yo!

[26:50] That was the biggest, that was when people really knew Peak TV had hit.

[26:55] When Playboy started investing in original programming.

[27:00] Anyway, I never, that's one of those shows that I never actually saw.

[27:03] Sex court?

[27:04] But I've heard of it.

[27:05] But I've never, like, I didn't go to the Playboy Channel as a kid.

[27:07] I don't know if it still exists anymore.

[27:09] So, like, I've never actually seen it.

[27:11] So are they adjudicating sex, or are they sentencing people to sex?

[27:14] I don't know!

[27:16] I haven't seen the show!

[27:17] I think one of them is less creepy.

[27:20] I'm trying to figure out which is the less creepy one.

[27:23] I mean, it's possible that, it's possible I misread it and it was like Essex County Court or something like that.

[27:28] It would be an odd choice for the Playboy Channel.

[27:30] Maybe the Playboy Channel was trying to get into original New Jersey based dramas.

[27:35] Yeah.

[27:36] I mean, there was a night court.

[27:38] What happens at night?

[27:39] Sex.

[27:40] Well, that, I mean, they had a bunch of prostitutes in night court.

[27:43] They're always bringing in people who are clearly, like, coded to be prostitutes.

[27:47] Which is something I didn't understand as a child.

[27:49] Yeah, as a kid I was like, are they shoplifters?

[27:51] Nothing's open.

[27:52] I was like, wow, Dan Fielding has a lot of girlfriends.

[27:54] I mean, the concept of a night court was also something I didn't get as, like, I didn't know that was a thing as a kid.

[28:00] So I kind of filled in the backstory that this was like an experiment in the law.

[28:04] Where they're gonna have a court open at night and see what kind of crazy things might happen.

[28:07] I was not, there was no part of me that was like, oh yeah, people get arrested at night.

[28:11] And they need to book them pretty quickly.

[28:13] But anyway, back to the movie.

[28:15] So why does the judge do magic?

[28:18] That's something that Harry Anderson brought to the character.

[28:21] I don't think, well, the show was not originally called Magic Judge.

[28:26] Although, that's a pretty good idea for a show.

[28:30] Starring...

[28:33] Judge Reinhold.

[28:35] That joke's been made before.

[28:37] Yes, on Arrested Development.

[28:38] But what if he was given magic powers?

[28:41] And he wasn't a judge at all.

[28:43] Well, I mean, technically he is, because that's his name.

[28:45] What if it's called Magic Judge?

[28:46] Except it's Magic Mike with Judge Reinhold.

[28:49] Okay.

[28:50] Hey, listen, okay.

[28:52] So, Patrick Wilson, he falls asleep after masturbating to a picture of his employee.

[28:56] And when he, he's woken up by her licking his face.

[28:58] And it's at that moment that you know, okay, like, there's some, something's up.

[29:02] A scene that was so overt and it's like, and her come on.

[29:06] That I was like, okay, he's still dreaming.

[29:08] He's still dreaming.

[29:10] This is a movie that doesn't really grasp subtlety.

[29:12] It's not trying for subtlety.

[29:14] And it doesn't get it.

[29:16] They have an affair.

[29:17] She blackmails him.

[29:18] He tries to pay her off.

[29:19] It doesn't work.

[29:20] Then she blackmails him more.

[29:21] And he admits everything to Katherine Heigl.

[29:24] And she says, what?

[29:26] You got this woman pregnant?

[29:28] Then you have to murder her.

[29:29] And so, he...

[29:31] To protect their perfect life.

[29:33] Because their life is perfect.

[29:34] And this thing is a tour de force.

[29:36] We have a real, like, Lady Macbeth.

[29:39] Rich of the third turn here.

[29:41] In that we were forced to watch it by Dan.

[29:43] Yeah.

[29:44] This is the conversation we had at the beginning.

[29:46] Dan says, here are our options.

[29:48] I was cackling.

[29:49] I had you chained to the wall and whipping you.

[29:51] He said, the last witch finder.

[29:53] And I said, okay.

[29:54] That could be good.

[29:55] Or this movie, Home Sweet Hell.

[29:56] It's different.

[29:57] It's not an action movie.

[29:58] So maybe we try that.

[29:59] And Stuart and I, being morons.

[30:00] Said okay, whatever that sounds good to us. Let's go with the movie

[30:03] We've never heard of that Katherine Heigl's in that I think maybe we've made to prank us and that's what we watched

[30:09] It was terrible. Anyway, they you they grind up their kids medication

[30:13] I think and give so much of it to her that she isn't killed

[30:16] But she is I guess it hurts her bad and she's barfing up. She's barfing up everywhere

[30:22] they bring her home and Katherine Heigl beats her to death with a hammer then takes off her clothes and

[30:28] And I will takes off her dress and then uses like a saw yeah to cut her body up. Yeah, Eastern Promises style

[30:36] And she is because she is a a scene like many scenes in this movie where the soundtrack

[30:43] swells and we are we are delivered a crescendo of

[30:47] B grade music every scene in this movie. They're like this isn't funny

[30:52] But if we either play a pop song really loud, we really put music in like this

[30:56] to

[31:02] Make the pools of blood around Katherine Heigl's ankles funny

[31:06] and so here's so and the IMDb trivia claims that the

[31:10] music was provided by Katherine Heigl's husband, which

[31:14] I don't know

[31:15] I guess us making fun of her husband

[31:18] She might she might come after us and be like coming after me is fair game not coming after my husband. The flop houses did

[31:25] Yeah, he didn't ask for this he's a civilian what was Heigl's first ball peen ham rest of that

[31:32] And I'll he's based on her in real life, yeah, yeah originally was called home home sweet Heigl

[31:38] And she said, uh, can we draw a little bit less attention to the fact that I'm a murderer in real life

[31:42] They're like why because I'll murder you if you don't yeah, sorry. Sorry cat. Okay, so

[31:49] Familiar they've been working together for a while. Yeah, they dismember the body and then

[31:55] Her boyfriend starts threatening Patrick Wilson. And so Katherine Heigl's like, I guess we got to kill more people

[32:02] Go to a strip club. He goes to a strip club and he's forced to take meth in a real training day moment

[32:08] Which has no pain where he just here's the payoff to him

[32:13] And his and the Sun feels too bright in his eyes the pit

[32:16] I mean, I was like, are you on drugs? And it's like yeah, I took meth and like that's it. Yeah

[32:23] the scene specifically goes

[32:25] He says I took crystal meth and she said the drug

[32:31] Stewart laugh then cuz that's funny. Yeah, and then that's it at no point. Do they say kids don't do that

[32:37] So I guess all the kids that rush out and see home sweet. Hell, we're all gonna become crystal meth

[32:42] I mean like there should be a scene in the movie where he's forced to do something

[32:46] Normal while on meth, right?

[32:48] Like yeah, that's kind of joke payoff to that setup. Yes

[32:52] There's like a big like one day sale at his furniture thing that he has to be there

[32:58] It's parent-teacher conference. Yeah, and he's got to sit through the conference while he's tweaking or whatever methods do

[33:05] teeth falling out of his mouth

[33:09] Signing a lease on a new track like trailer

[33:16] On it and there goes the economy

[33:18] Thanks, Patrick Wilson

[33:20] Blame the crystal meth

[33:22] And so that's where there's a scene in a strip club. Of course, there's nudity. So our attention was wrapped

[33:28] Well, the funny thing about this movie was every time there was nudity

[33:31] It happened while Dan was looking at his phone and so he would look up just at the last brief frames of nude women

[33:39] It was like it was like one of those old cut like comedy sketches from the Benny Hill show or something

[33:44] where a dirty old man is trying to catch girls changing and just keeps missing them and

[33:48] It's funny because back then it was

[33:54] Back then the audience was supposed to sympathize with this creepy

[33:59] They're like, oh he is like a tantalus

[34:05] Always desire a drink of that sweet naked teen girl. I'm good. That was when Benny Hill's classics education

[34:12] Really came through. Oh

[34:15] Those all those people are chasing Benny at the end, but he can't turn around or else they'll disappear like Orpheus and Eurydice

[34:27] So you missed some of the nudity there's strip club, etc

[34:30] So in this strip club, there's a great moment where one of the goons who they're just hanging out

[34:34] They are in a fucking strip club in the middle of the afternoon and it is so lamb and it is packed

[34:41] I want to see this story about the proprietors of this place who are running this

[34:46] Super successful strip club that apparently let goons just flash pistols

[34:51] They're just guns around and doing meth and doing crystal in the open. That's crazy

[34:56] they're a bunch of lap dance coupons in the

[35:00] Supermarket circular that week

[35:02] Posited that these guys felt comfortable waving their guns around and doing meth because they owned the establishment and yet I submit to you

[35:10] With the jury in sex court. Mm-hmm

[35:13] If they were the proprietors of this successful strip club and I submit to you

[35:19] It is the middle of the day

[35:20] The place is is no fewer than six or seven dancers are roaming the floors

[35:26] Let alone the stage performers. There are enough people to support all of that

[35:30] This is perhaps the most successful strip club in that side of the country

[35:34] Why would they be black easily the county for you the county for sure

[35:38] Why would they unless it's like Portland the city that has more strip clubs than any other in America, I guess per capita

[35:45] Why would they be blackmailing this man for a mere $20,000? I submit to you. I rest my case

[35:51] So yeah, I'm probably wrong. I don't think they own the place. No, but in your home sweet health fanfiction they do

[35:59] Oh, yeah, I mean, it's all about

[36:02] Murray

[36:06] Scottish guy. Well, these are guys who live in what appears to be a squalid trailer

[36:13] Tractor truck

[36:17] One of those prefab houses, it wasn't

[36:20] Like prefab towable houses and it wasn't it was not the tiny house lifestyle

[36:24] And but there which is ethical their fridge is very well stocked with beer and frozen dinner

[36:31] They've got a freezer that's big enough to hold a Jordana Brewster in it. So she's been cut

[36:35] Oh, certainly your head and I think it's just the head. It's a head and a leg and a and an arm

[36:42] I mean, that's that's a lot of Jordana Brewster to fit. What is she Green Lanterns girlfriend? She's all fit in that fridge

[36:50] And they also own they own a fucking gun rack that has inside not one but two katana

[36:57] Three katanas, that's crazy. Only one of which is used. Well, that means somebody

[37:02] I think this whole movie was used just as a ploy for somebody to get two katanas

[37:06] Paid for by the company that wasn't used on screen. That's still mint condition, dude

[37:11] Go use it to fight like an ancient. Yeah, but go use it to fight an Onibaba or something

[37:15] That's why only one of those is going to the local planet Hollywood

[37:19] The other one take it take it and track a little plaque

[37:23] This home sweet hell underneath it track down a current echo with that thing. Why not? It's never been used

[37:29] hmm, so uh

[37:31] Katherine Heigl goes to plant some evidence in the home of these guys who are now blackmailing them and the threat by evidence

[37:37] You mean Jordana Brewster and the this is the threat like this movie. It's just like that

[37:43] So the threat that the bad guys give to

[37:46] Patrick Wilson they say hey, you know your wife if you don't give us $20,000

[37:50] We're gonna rape your raper then her your daughter then your son. Well, and then you that's the threat and it's like

[37:57] You could have just said we'll kill it your family like or just said something bad is gonna happen. Like I

[38:04] Don't like the stakes were raised. Well, there's a reason I didn't I didn't watch what's it called a Georgian film, whatever

[38:11] Serbian film there's a reason I apologize

[38:14] Let's see, Georgia. I the there's a reason I didn't watch that movie. It's

[38:21] A Georgian film would be a bunch of guys sitting around eating Hachapuri drinking wine fucking chillin, dude

[38:30] And why wouldn't you want to watch that that sounds awesome, I mean I wanted to learn

[38:35] It's like stirring a whole lump of butter into your mix-up egg and cheese and butter in a bread boat

[38:41] I think I got a pitch for my my screenplay big night, too

[38:50] Night two is Georgian. Look as long as there's ethnic food types we can keep pumping out this dude

[38:57] And then big night seven. Oh Italy again. Oh, man

[39:02] That's that that fucking thing that like good Oh time for dance hot take on big night

[39:09] Italian food no one George. What's the name of the thing that we're talking about?

[39:13] Hachapuri is that what yeah, it's like for your kachapuri. I think it depends

[39:19] Like a food I would have invented when I was back when I was a chubby kid. So this is

[39:24] the Georgian

[39:26] It's like I'm just gonna take a bread

[39:31] I'm just gonna take a whole stick of butter and here let's bring in the cheese

[39:36] Yeah, and we're just gonna swirl that shit around and what else should I put in it? Nothing? No, this is it

[39:41] This is this is heaven on a stick. You know what? I hate about it. You know, you know what?

[39:46] I mean, you know what? I hate about pizza all the sauce and no butter and no egg

[39:52] So I corrected it with my new thing. I call it Dan pizza

[39:57] Yeah, and then a Georgian comes in and slaps

[40:00] me in the face. You didn't invent this. And on my big night. He serves you papers for intellectual

[40:07] property. Here's how he would do it. He would stumble over. He'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[40:13] And you'd go to catch him to help him because you're a good citizen. He'd be like, oh, thanks,

[40:16] buddy. I just got to say in return, you've been served and they just you've been served. And then

[40:20] he'd just walk away, slips out of the trench coat he was wearing that you're holding. And you're

[40:24] like, well, he's just three little kids. They jump on their skateboards and ride off in different

[40:32] directions. So you don't know who to chase. So instead, you slip on a banana peel and go, oh,

[40:37] rats. And then a rain cloud appears just above you and starts raining all because I was trying

[40:41] to invent a food that'll show you don't try to achieve your dreams. No. Speaking of trying to

[40:47] achieve her dreams, because she has a whole book of goals and dreams that she's like towards

[40:51] the hikes, Catherine Heigl. So she goes to plant the body. The Scottish guy walks in with his

[40:56] stripper conquest of the night who starts posing topless with a katana blade for no reason. I

[41:02] guess you don't need a reason. Catherine Heigl's character follows like that first rule of improv,

[41:06] dude. She just goes with it. Yeah. She doesn't think twice. Yeah. Yes. And she walks out,

[41:12] stabs them both, kills the woman with a katana blade. The police come and then they call the

[41:16] police and say, oh, there's some bad news going on here when the other folks arrive, I guess.

[41:22] Yeah. But one guy, there's two bad guys left. One of them is killed by the police. The other

[41:26] one escapes by crawling out into the house. Is the music blaring on the soundtrack at this point?

[41:31] You bet it is, because what you're watching is fucking funny. Yeah. But if the music wasn't

[41:35] super loud, you might be like, oh, this is kind of a grimy, unpleasant crime movie. Oh,

[41:40] but the music's really loud. So it's probably I should take a shower because I'm never going

[41:43] to feel clean again. Probably not. Well, there's also there's a moment where Patrick Wilson kind

[41:50] of breaks through Catherine Heigl's cold exterior. Yeah. He's like, what made you so cool? And she

[41:55] begins to break down and hint that her parents abused her and before regaining her composure

[42:01] and threatening and saying in the one funny line in the in the movie, if you ever talk to me like

[42:06] that again, she goes, I'll end you. I'll take one of the knives in my bedside table and I'll

[42:11] whatever. But it's like it was the idea that she keeps knives in her bedside. I think there's

[42:14] more than one funny line in the movie. But yes, that was a funny line that is then ruined. I was

[42:19] amused by it. Yeah, I was amused by how happy she seemed to be by the idea of hitting Jordana

[42:25] Brewster with a hammer. Like as soon as she realized that she was going to have to kill

[42:29] this woman, like she suddenly she suddenly perked up and her performance was kind of funny in that

[42:34] moment. OK, and I mean, Jim Blue, she's hilarious. He's a pro. He's a pro. He sells every line,

[42:41] turns it on like like a switch. And so by this point, Patrick Wilson has begun to realize this

[42:46] wife's a little crazy. And at their at their son's birthday party, where he witnesses her

[42:54] browbeating their son over his inability to hit a pinata. And then she starts just insulting

[42:59] everybody at the party and being really mean to them. And he learns that she's taken tell

[43:03] someone that she's glad that she has Crohn's disease and hopes that she shits herself to death.

[43:08] Yeah, she says. And she's this is not really triggered by much of anything. No, it's just

[43:12] the movie is running out of time. So they need to make her as bad as possible so that when Patrick

[43:16] Wilson sets up a death trap in his garage and it's also revealed that she killed their neighbor's

[43:21] dog and stuffed it in their freezer. So when Patrick Wilson. I love that you say that as an

[43:25] aside, it was usually that's an indication that a villain totally acid. And so when he's we

[43:33] don't feel as bad, I guess when he rigs a death trap in his house at his son's birthday party

[43:38] to murder his wife, and she dies in an explosion, and I'll never forget Stewart's immortal words.

[43:43] Before before the explosion, I'm ready for some really bad special effects, or I hope that we

[43:48] see some really bad special effects. And then we did some very bad flame effects coming out of

[43:53] the windows and everything. And then, you know, we fade out, we fade back. Patrick Wilson's now in

[44:00] a bigger house. He and his kids are really happy. Looks like the problem's been solved. They drive

[44:04] off in the minivan up. The evil boyfriend from before follows them a motorcycle cut to credits

[44:11] and over the credits, we hear gunshots and glass breaking and the screams of children.

[44:17] So like a hilarious ending, the final gag, every comedy ends on the screams of children.

[44:23] We get up out of our theater seats, dust the popcorn crumbs off our laps,

[44:28] chuckle at our friends and then walk out. We silently walk to our cars, drive home in silence.

[44:37] We leave the theater, you're like, what did you think? Oh, I don't want to say while other people

[44:43] who just saw the thing I saw are walking near me. I kind of don't feel comfortable

[44:48] being loud about my opinions right now. Why does that instinct kick in? I have that. We're like,

[44:53] I'll see a movie with my wife and my wife will go, well, what do you think? And I'll be like,

[44:56] let's talk about it outside. Like, I don't want the other people in the theater to hear my

[44:59] opinion. It's really weird. Like, and if, even if it's something I like, I'm like, I don't want to

[45:03] reveal to these fucking weirdos I'd never seen before. Patrick Wilson might be in the audience.

[45:09] It reminds me when I went to see, I think it was adaptation in the theaters and there was an old

[45:14] man sitting across the aisle and when the movie ended, he turned to me and he goes, so what did

[45:18] you think? Did you think that was so good? I didn't think so. And you were like me from the future.

[45:24] What are you doing here? Is there a warning you have for me? I got you. We need to save your kids.

[45:29] Let's go back to the future. The movie. Uh, and I was like, I don't know. I'm going to have to

[45:36] think about it. He was like, you don't know you must, you just saw it. And I was like,

[45:40] and I wanted to be, I was basically telling him like, I don't really want to talk to you.

[45:43] And he goes and gets up and walks away. He's like, sorry, dude, this isn't New York 70s cinema

[45:50] culture where you can just finish. When the latest Agnes Varda film stops, you can just turn

[45:55] to your scene mate and ask him and create a community of cineasts to discuss it. He was

[46:00] trying to start his new TV review show, old man and Elliot. If I knew that was the case,

[46:06] I would have done it. Teach me your old man ways old man. When I saw adaptation, that was one of

[46:11] the few times I've been to movies where the, uh, the, the picture you've seen a lot of movies.

[46:18] I know I've only been a couple of times and the, the screen, uh, like shifted.

[46:23] So like the top of the screen, the image was at the bottom of the screen and the bottom of the

[46:28] image was at the top. And, uh, kind of because of the movie, I'm like, Whoa, this is a really

[46:34] interesting choice for about 10 minutes. And then I'm like, uh, I should probably go tell

[46:41] the projectionist. It's like, there's a movie, there's a really fun movie called as a me,

[46:46] that's a Japanese movie about a teenage swords woman. And the, uh, there's a part, I remember

[46:54] seeing it at the New York festival. Uh, yeah. And there's basically, and there's a, there was a

[47:02] part where that's also my review for Scorsese's silence. The projectionist screwed up for us a

[47:10] couple of seconds and shifted the image down too far. Like they might, maybe they're having sex in

[47:13] the booth and they hit the projection. I don't know. And, uh, the part that it would, it should

[47:19] have been masked was not. And the boom mic and the reflectors that were being held by the crew

[47:24] in the scene were very, were very visible. And it was like, Hey, come on, projectionist. You

[47:30] got to give this, you got to work with this movie because clearly they thought you were going to be

[47:33] covering this up. They left it in the frame. So that's, that is the type of who, one of the

[47:38] McElroy's had that same experience where they play. Yeah. Travis, uh, night at the museum.

[47:42] And I've never, that seems crazy. I've never seen that stuff happens because a lot of that doesn't

[47:48] sound like something that could happen. It's happened to me. It could happen to you starting

[47:52] Nicholas Cage. So wait on every movie. Like if I first, for instance, if I had like a really

[47:59] tall screen of my TV, would I see all that shit? Uh, not on your TV. No. Okay. But wait, I'm trying

[48:07] to, but if I took a, if I took a, uh, a film print, if you had like an, like a, just a,

[48:15] just a film print. And I just like played it on like a brick wall for my cool eighties, like

[48:21] party that I'm throwing depending on the movie. Yeah. You might have some to bring it back to

[48:25] pervasiveness. There were a lot of movies where we ever talking about that, that Benny Hill run

[48:32] from a while back. There are a lot of movies where, uh, there was nudity, uh, in the home

[48:37] video release that was never shown in the film release because they had masked the top and bottom.

[48:44] But when it was a pan scan, it was a square frame. And so stuff at the top and bottom was revealed.

[48:50] So like what movie, give me one. Uh, well, the more, most recent one. And this actually, uh,

[48:58] like the rescuers down under this actually came up on, uh, on the very same episode of my brother,

[49:04] my brother and me, but that happened in the breakup with the Jennifer Aniston.

[49:08] Like her butt was not supposed to be shown like in the masking of the street. But like, if you saw

[49:13] the, the, the pillar box version with the taller, uh, side, interesting. Yeah. I mean, not interesting,

[49:21] but it happened, I guess. That's history. So, uh, we end with, that was my moment in

[49:32] nude history. That was your moment. I feel like every episode you have several moments.

[49:40] Look, this is the oral tradition. If I don't, if I don't tell these tales, they're going to be

[49:47] lost to time. You're right. That's true. You're right. And then future generations won't know.

[49:52] Dan's like a traveling bard character now. No other butts exist.

[49:56] So I figured out how your Patreon works.

[50:00] I think I figured out what you're going to do in society collapses is you're like a traveling storyteller sham shaman who goes from tribe to tribe and tell stories of butts of your yeah handing out like tiny little hand-drawn teal on a Bible.

[50:14] I don't know but then they'll just call them bibles religion that dan is instituting.

[50:19] Okay like what can i blow the heroes during.

[50:23] I were slew to the jugger depending on what country you're in starring roger howard and joan chan so dan you like this movie right no i didn't let's go to final judgments whether this is a good bad movie a bad bad movie or movie kinda like i did not like this movie it's.

[50:40] Baffling it's a baffling movie you wonder why you're watching it who it's for whom why did anyone make this why you wouldn't think of it who is it for how did it get me how did this get me to never ask that question before movies film flop house something it's like this is maybe maybe my least favorite of every movie i've seen for this podcast now maybe i can't go that far cuz it didn't bore me the way that like.

[51:07] I don't like a load of nudity in comparison that's there was a lot of new we are so gross this episode i'm saying for you yeah but are you gross actor i don't think we're being spent with no more or less gross than we usually are i would say that there is i think i found this movie it wasn't as boring and it did have boobs in it but i found it to be so on the fucking so let me box.

[51:32] What's up dude the boxes tagline is.

[51:38] Psycho wife unhappy life what the fuck i feel like katherine heigl is like couldn't have agreed with that and that that typifies this movie which is like it is it thinks that it is a witty dark comedy but it is actually like the most retrograde like shit like a misogynist view of.

[52:02] Shrews and ball busters or they're out to get money from you with their date with the other with the dates that are by the way with the update they're just that there is no you just have to grab you by the dick and either control you or take your money at dudes what are you gonna do i guess we just have to murder them eventually trying to run a successful business with your pal jimba luci like this was this movie reminded me of there was a time when me and my office made a daily show for a while mr sam means.

[52:32] We're collecting we're ordering and collecting old joke books to laugh at how crappy the jokes were and there was one that he got we just buy them from ebay we didn't really know it was in them and we got a curse joke what happened was we had to take it to an abandoned carnival grounds and so it could do its final business but we want to arrive that was like.

[52:55] That was all like men's party jokes and it was so from the early sixties it was so disgusting and it was like so hateful towards women and we were like this isn't fun anymore and we stopped getting old jokes.

[53:12] You donated all those joke books to hell i guess we opened up a puzzle box and we threw these joke books in the portal so i guess pinheads reading now this is too much for me still wanted you so.

[53:32] I did not like this movie it's not very good it's not really fun there i will not lie i did laugh at a couple of things that's okay like i think there's things about it that could have been.

[53:46] I feel like every time i watch one of the shitty movies i was on play fucking movie doctor and be like well maybe if they change the score maybe if they try to play this up instead of that,

[53:57] are they got chris gethard instead of patrick wilson which i still stand by what made this movie better but the.

[54:04] It's just not very good i don't recommend it.

[54:08] I feel bad for the actors and i like your high was born or fucking hard to this and i feel bad for her in particular because we make fun of her movies so much but,

[54:17] it's not like she's bad like she's doing a good job well i mean yeah okay it's it's really hard it's hard to tell where the problems get screenplay.

[54:32] Yeah i like the problems begin yeah did you do you do you give a rating it's i think it will be clear bad bad this is like this movie didn't break me the way that like food fighter loves did but it disgusted me.

[54:47] But it also like didn't make you feel like you should say hey dudes look at this crazy thing that's true it had it never reached the sublime insanity just like repulsed me and every look at look at the way bobby wobbly smiles and try and sleep after that oh you can't wipe that from your sit from your soul.

[55:05] Hi i'm comedian emily heller and i'm cartoonist lisa hannah waltz and we're the host of baby geniuses do you want to learn weird new facts do you like hearing successful creative women talk about their poop do you want the scoop on martha stewart's pony if you answered yes to any of these questions our show is for you we interview people like paula thompkins kristin shaw michael chay and more so check us out on maximum fun and let us mess with your brain yes please.

[55:34] We know everything.

[55:40] But moving on from home sweet home.

[55:44] Thank you there are a couple of sponsors of the show tonight hawking some fine products that we should talk about great stretch it out number one stall for time i guess what are the police trying to trace the call i'm stalling so i can learn how to read.

[56:04] I can read the scores carl stalling get on with it are you hiring do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates dynamite that's right yeah.

[56:17] Posting your job in just one place isn't enough to find quality candidates with zip recruiter dot com you can post your job to two hundred plus job sites that's social media networks like facebook and twitter all with a single click.

[56:32] You don't need to wear out your clicking finger for your new job dude no they're hiring the job that you already have when you hire people pointing at someone to say you're hired no longer do you have to drive around from small liberal arts college to small liberal arts college,

[56:51] posting up these help wanted things on the community bulletin board just with one click you can post it to the digital bulletin boards of the information superhighway global village.

[57:02] Yeah you don't need to worry about people emailing you are calling your office you can screen candidates rate them and hire the right person fast so right now.

[57:12] Our listeners pop house listeners and post jobs on zip recruiter for free by going to zip recruiter dot com slash first that's the recruiter dot com slash first one more time.

[57:25] Try for free go to zip recruiter dot com slash first the way you're doing that dan was like that was the signal for someone to do something in a scheme once more zip recruit recruiter dot com slash first and the person that I'm supposed to be signaling is like talking to like the pretty bartender.

[57:48] What is someone's behind me with like a with like a hammer hit me with it you're like once again and i'm like what's going on reading it and i'm like keep tapping my nose as i say that's something wrong with your image.

[58:06] Okay so our podcast is also sponsored in part by blue apron blue with the aforementioned blue apron the flop house is supported in part by blue apron blue apron partners with sustainable farms fisheries and ranchers to bring you all the ingredients you need to create incredible home cooked meals.

[58:30] Ingredients come paired with an easy to follow recipe card delivered to your door weekly in a refrigerated box.

[58:38] I mean the box has dry ice in it it's not the box isn't refrigerated dan it's name on the undercutting that ales pitch say rediscover how fun i don't think people were worried that a refrigerator was going to show up at their door and they would have to carry it in.

[58:55] How about a box with one refrigerator and one of these comes with every delivery i mean a box with dry ice in it hate to break it to you dan is refrigerated yeah if it's got cold stuff you know what the first one was brought to you by a yeah chicago bears football player the refrigerator no current football player i'm sure that no from when i was growing up last name dan i don't know it's perry.

[59:26] So here's the thing you know the first refrigerator train cars it's just big chunks of ice on wheels.

[59:35] Okay so you get some delicious i'll get you a nice a chunk ice rediscover how fun cooking can be while enjoying specialty ingredients and exploring new flavors platypus and cuisine get your first three blue apron meals free plus free shipping by visiting blueapron.com slash flop house blueapron.com slash free shipping.

[1:00:00] I'm slash flop house. We've said in the past

[1:00:02] Nice thing to get for people if for some reason they are recovering from something. They just had a baby

[1:00:08] They can't take can't feed themselves for a little bit. It's a nice gift. Yeah, wait guys. What's that in the sky?

[1:00:16] it looks like a

[1:00:18] shiny

[1:00:20] Okay, I'm doing a bit here Dan just play along

[1:00:24] That's a jumbo drum

[1:00:27] Can you make it out? I think I can make it out. Let me read it out loud

[1:00:30] So if you can read that Dan will start doing his downtown Julie Brown sounds

[1:00:40] This message is for Eddie last name withheld better and this message is from

[1:00:45] Lisa Emma and Charlotte also last name withheld. Hmm

[1:00:50] Since it's your 50th birthday

[1:00:53] Eddie we wanted to do something special to show you how much we love and appreciate you

[1:00:59] it seems that in the waning years of your life the one thing that makes you happy is to listen to the flop house and

[1:01:07] Perhaps a jaunty song from Elliot. Uh

[1:01:11] Either way, we love you very much. Great job with the first 50 years

[1:01:17] That's very sweet. So do it should I fuck up the next 50?

[1:01:21] Wow, all right

[1:01:23] Break your perfect record. Yeah

[1:01:26] So should I sing a song?

[1:01:28] You want to do a song?

[1:01:30] I don't know that setting a strange precedent

[1:01:33] But why don't you give us a couple bars of this 50th birthday song? Okay, Eddie, you're right

[1:01:38] I don't want to set the precedent that every jumbotron comes with a song, but whatever

[1:01:42] It doesn't take much to get me to sing. Hey

[1:01:45] Eddie

[1:01:46] Get ready for 50 more years

[1:01:49] The first 50 were pretty good the second 50 even better the third

[1:01:57] 50 little slow, but the fourth 50. Hey, don't you know those are the best years?

[1:02:04] the fourth 50 years

[1:02:07] from

[1:02:08] 150 to

[1:02:10] 1,200 the golden time the golden years forget your fears Stewart opened a beer for 50 years

[1:02:19] Eddie

[1:02:22] Okay

[1:02:23] Perfect. That was a very very brief

[1:02:27] Well for me regular grindcore song, so we what do we do next Danny boy?

[1:02:34] next comes

[1:02:36] letters

[1:02:38] From

[1:02:40] listeners

[1:02:42] Like you

[1:02:51] All the time now, yeah, I'm gonna talk like I'm constantly buffering we do we doing a lot of like scenes and characters tonight, huh?

[1:03:06] So before

[1:03:08] The letters just a quick. Thanks to Patrick limb for the bootstrap messenger bags

[1:03:14] These are really good. That's a crazy. Awesome gift a nice messenger. Very nice. Thank you

[1:03:21] But a useful gift and as I become older and I'm a dad now useful gifts are the ones I really find

[1:03:27] Better like like diapers. Well, I mean not for me, but I mean think about it

[1:03:33] I mean, I'll need them eventually but like I find that like good socks

[1:03:38] Like that's a solid gift. Like that's a gift. I'm gonna use and I'm gonna enjoy

[1:03:42] Whereas if you give me a video game now, I don't even have a system to play it on

[1:03:46] But when I was a kid, I hated socks. I love video games. You only wanted video games

[1:03:50] You're like I want to find out who ransoms at River City

[1:03:55] What are these what makes these dudes so bad? Is this fight really gonna be the final one?

[1:03:59] What about this fantasy?

[1:04:01] What it was a video game about socks

[1:04:04] Okay, keep talking it's called

[1:04:08] slidey guy

[1:04:10] That's a guy in socks sliding around a well-oiled. You're thinking of toe jamming Earl the video game. Okay?

[1:04:17] No this first letter mark over the hill

[1:04:22] It's a letter coming over the horizon

[1:04:25] It's a hill calling with Verizon. It's a letter from far away coming near come over here

[1:04:33] letter dear

[1:04:35] Because we can read you better when you're close to us and we love to have you so close to us

[1:04:44] It's a love song

[1:04:47] For a letter

[1:04:50] Hey Dan this letter

[1:04:52] It's a love letter to you

[1:04:56] from

[1:04:57] Nobody. Anyway, start reading. Nobody loves you. Keep going

[1:05:03] I

[1:05:11] Apologize everybody loves damn. Hey. Hey, he's a regular Raymond. Hey

[1:05:15] Everyone hated Raymond. All right. Well, no everybody hated Chris

[1:05:20] Yeah, is that the guy who says bazinga all the time?

[1:05:25] No, that's Big Bang. I don't think I've ever seen Dan look at me with more anger and

[1:05:34] So this letter goes this is the letters from

[1:05:37] Taylor

[1:05:39] SACC last letter withheld the first s must stand for Swift

[1:05:44] Hey flop house dudes

[1:05:46] First we have the obligatory praise you guys rock. I work at a distillery two days a week

[1:05:51] I have wicked a wicked commute you guys keep me laughing the whole time. I

[1:05:56] Even have this special little dance that I do when you're opening thing theme comes on if you're thinking that sounds very sexual you're right

[1:06:04] so now

[1:06:06] Secondly, I have to let you know that

[1:06:08] Feeling curious about y'all's appearances. I was doing a little harmless Facebook stalking the other day

[1:06:14] That's never harmless. I forget if I was looking at the list of Dan or Stewart's friends the ultimate taboo, but anyway

[1:06:22] Right when I went to scroll back a page, I accidentally friended one of your friends

[1:06:26] So if a Facebook friend of yours says in the near future some weird-looking guy with a beard randomly friended me

[1:06:32] You can just smile and say don't worry. That was just a harmless Facebook stalker

[1:06:36] that also could be an elaborate attempt to make it so that when when our

[1:06:43] Taylor here

[1:06:44] Submits a friend requested one of us will be like, oh we have one mutual friend. I'll click agree. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's a real face

[1:06:53] It's not a grift

[1:06:56] I mean, I guess they're gonna get money from you eventually. It's the Pennsylvania Facebook

[1:07:04] Facebook

[1:07:06] Third and most importantly, I want to talk briefly about what I call the cell phone problem

[1:07:11] I know it's not Shocktober, but are you having a problem with your cell phone?

[1:07:15] Please stay with me and all modern horror movies one problem must be dealt with

[1:07:20] Everyone has a cell phone

[1:07:23] Unbelievable and unrealistic

[1:07:25] So in order to create tension slash explain why the protagonists don't call for help that phone must get dropped

[1:07:33] smashed run out of juice

[1:07:35] Etc. I find it a really interesting problem and there are a lot of solutions that have become common

[1:07:41] Just wondering what you guys all think is the best solution to the cell phone problem. Sincerely Taylor. I

[1:07:48] Mean, this is pretty simple for me. And I think it's pretty elegant to be honest with you

[1:07:53] See, I'm a big fan of alternate historical fiction. Okay, interesting. So I will always set my

[1:08:01] Screenplays my myriad screenplays that are right and you're very proliferate to a variety of different TV producers and movie producers

[1:08:09] So I'm still listening. You can always send me an email guys and ladies

[1:08:16] But

[1:08:17] So the idea of course is that we are in a alternate timeline where cell phone technology was never invented

[1:08:23] I only have access to landlines

[1:08:26] That's interesting because I had a similar one

[1:08:28] Which was that all our movies be set in a dystopian future where cell phones have been banned like rock and roll. Sure

[1:08:34] Yeah, except for there's one cell phone character who shows up and you're like don't kill him

[1:08:39] He's a good cell phone and they're like phones go on the part of the burn pile

[1:08:43] My solution is kind of like in the scene in the hudsucker proxy where there's that flashback showing

[1:08:50] Them sewing. Mr. Hudsucker. Yeah, it's such a nice man. I give him the double stitch anyway

[1:08:54] Yeah

[1:08:55] So I would have them like

[1:08:57] Trying to use their cell phone and then suddenly there'd be a flashback to the ghost or monster or whatever

[1:09:01] Like a week before calling up the company to cancel the plan

[1:09:08] Stealing stealing the check that they were sending in to cover their

[1:09:12] I mean frankly, it's a little I don't know if that's as elegant as there as the characters at some point in the very opening scenes

[1:09:18] of the movie or possibly with an opening text scroll saying in this world there are

[1:09:29] Hey before the movie starts going is very atmospheric and then it just pauses in the director walks. I was hey, I forgot to mention

[1:09:36] There's no cell phones in this world capiche. Let's roll it. I

[1:09:40] think the I

[1:09:42] mean I know in sometimes in horror movies the scariest thing about what's going on is that their cell phone breaks or that it runs out

[1:09:48] Of battery. That's something I'm really worried about having all the time

[1:09:51] I mean like the cell phone was the fucking crux of green room

[1:09:56] I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know

[1:09:58] I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know

[1:10:00] I don't know. I don't know. I don't know

[1:10:00] Room spoiler alert. No, but like that's but just I'm saying the fear of my cell phone not working is a real fear

[1:10:07] I live with all the time

[1:10:08] So like that's scary to me than like that a zombie is gonna eat me or a serial killer is gonna come after me

[1:10:13] yeah, like there's few things more frightening than me waking up with a wicked hangover and

[1:10:18] Be and seeing my phone line wicked hangover. Did I take somebody something really stupid?

[1:10:25] What a movie has anyone made a movie about a guy with a really bad hangover who gets into all kinds of wacky adventures

[1:10:32] Thanks

[1:10:35] Hilarious guys, what about a movie where these guys they have a crazy night and they can't find their car and they're like buddy

[1:10:42] Where's my car?

[1:10:43] What a good idea. Yeah, what about a movie about a fletch? Have they made one of those?

[1:10:47] What exactly is his job again? Is he a see a reporter?

[1:11:07] You get the home game of what's the play

[1:11:11] It just comes with an index card says what's a fletch on it?

[1:11:14] Man I guess I'll be game master when I play with my friends

[1:11:21] If you win Chevy Chase comes to your house and you have to be nice to him

[1:11:27] It's like the fucking ring, dude

[1:11:37] So this next letter comedy legend anyway continue is from Monique last name withheld

[1:11:44] It goes like this. I recently watched back to the future with my eight-year-old son

[1:11:49] I was around his age when I saw it the first time

[1:11:52] I thought this would be a great film to share with him

[1:11:55] There was a lot more rape in the movie than I remembered. We also attempted rape. Wait, are we talking about Fletch?

[1:12:03] Back to the Fletcher, all right or Fletch to the future. Oh, man, it's a middle

[1:12:10] It's a Middle Ages movie back to the Fletcher

[1:12:14] We

[1:12:21] Also picked up the Looney Tunes DVDs and wow, these are hella racist which left me wondering about other childhood favorites

[1:12:29] Movies that perhaps shouldn't be rewatched as they may not live up to my happy childhood memories

[1:12:34] Maybe chunk doing the truffle shuffle

[1:12:36] It's just body shaming a child and calling a mentally and physically handicapped character sloth and laughing at him isn't funny

[1:12:42] I mean, it's also a crappy movie

[1:12:45] Yeah, say it Goonies is a crappy movie. Are you just mad because at the end when they rip up the fucking contract?

[1:12:51] It's like they threw a million ripped up contracts

[1:12:57] And because they reference an octopus scene that was cut from the final film and it's a tease

[1:13:04] But when he asks are there other movies from your childhood that the tone was lost on you or just considered acceptable the time that

[1:13:11] You would cringe at now

[1:13:14] So, I mean I

[1:13:16] There are definitely a I mean a movie that I still love that I I mean, I was just to be clear

[1:13:22] I watch a lot of old movies. So I'm constantly watching movies around cringing at certain parts of it, but like Dumbo

[1:13:27] I loved as a kid and I still love but the crows in it are a little questionable

[1:13:32] There's a couple of sure. I mean because they are a little question

[1:13:36] The only characters aside from Timothy Mouse who are nice to Dumbo like they're heroes in the movie

[1:13:41] But they're very much like cigar stogie smoking pimp dressed out, you know black guys

[1:13:46] We're dancing around and singing all the time. So like that's it's problematic

[1:13:50] I guess it's not as bad as the as the the Indians in

[1:13:54] In Peter and Peter. Oh my lord or that one doesn't make the red man

[1:13:59] Right that one centaur that they cut out of Fantasia

[1:14:02] That's just not in it anymore when you see stills of it and you're like god like how was that ever?

[1:14:07] Okay, it's like horribly racist black centaur

[1:14:10] But uh, I mean it growing up in the 80s there were a ton of movies that where they were about

[1:14:16] do it was just taken for granted like

[1:14:19] High school guys got to get vagina

[1:14:21] Whatever it takes to get it. Hey

[1:14:25] Fucking 16 candles so many times a kid. Oh, Jesus Christ

[1:14:28] Remember I remember like even when I was in like high school probably or maybe in college like

[1:14:35] Reading. I think I read like an Adrian Tomine a comic strip or something about it

[1:14:39] And I got like I mean, I was like man of woman warrior by Maxine Hong

[1:14:42] He doesn't like the like the dreamboat just like hand over his drunk

[1:14:48] Michael are all and I remember like trying to defend it for a while and now

[1:14:53] Obviously now I realize that it is a horrible terrible movie. Well, you've been like I remember

[1:14:58] Being shown like

[1:15:00] Animal house and believing like this is this is really funny and watching it being like, oh these guys are assholes

[1:15:06] Like this is not I don't like it. This there's just too much. I'm waiting

[1:15:10] That's how you felt when you saw it originally. Yeah when I was a kid. Wow, you were really enlightened as a kid

[1:15:15] well, I mean like I was I was never into like I mean those guys in the movie are like

[1:15:20] They're just assholes to people like I wasn't like yeah, you pulled it over on them. They're just jerks, you know

[1:15:26] Yeah, I feel like that movie has a little bit of self-awareness that they're assholes though

[1:15:30] it's like looking back to an earlier time and being like I

[1:15:34] Don't know. It's playing off of like this nostalgia, but showing like that the people in the 50s an asshole

[1:15:38] I mean like I'm not excusing all this shit in animal house because there's some terrible shit

[1:15:42] I mean isn't even movies like stripes or stuff like there's a lot of movies in the 80s where it was like

[1:15:47] Women were made to have their tops ripped. Oh, yeah, that's what they do or like this was her balls

[1:15:53] There were the entire goals, I mean but screwballs is sleaze like that was not a major like

[1:15:59] Motion picture with major Hollywood stars like screwballs is garbage. They knew it when they were making it like

[1:16:06] screwballs down a peg

[1:16:09] Joysticks, I'm not like joysticks. You should know better than this like this. That's good garbage. It's crap

[1:16:16] But uh something like I feel it was just very it felt like it was very

[1:16:21] Like 80s comedies came from a very like

[1:16:24] Man point of view where it was about women being things

[1:16:27] You know probably started with the fucking writing room and who was of allowed to run back then

[1:16:33] but I'm sure there's other stuff that I mean like

[1:16:37] Yeah, yeah, they were always playing old cartoons on TV that were full of stuff

[1:16:40] But I mean I've the really racist ones were off the TV by the time we were watching

[1:16:44] there's so much like gay panic to and I mean and

[1:16:48] You know movies that I I

[1:16:51] Have talked about my enjoyment for the very silly movie monster squad

[1:16:55] but there's like that movie starts off with kids being

[1:16:59] Like it starts up with Dracula getting up. I could have it. He's like don't touch me

[1:17:10] As soon as they go to school like the kids are throwing around like some homophobic slurs like right and like

[1:17:15] The third scene of the movie yeah, that's that's not good not not great. Although kids do talk that way kids do talk

[1:17:23] There's I wonder when yeah, not those fucking little nerds and stranger things. They're cool, dude. Yeah, they are. They're super cool. I

[1:17:33] Said rolling my eyes

[1:17:34] the

[1:17:36] there's there's a lot of hey look a lot of the the

[1:17:39] the progress of American culture is towards greater inclusion and inclusion and less

[1:17:45] blind

[1:17:48] Negativity towards the other but uh

[1:17:51] You know, there's I wonder what stuff in the future. We'll look back on

[1:17:55] I'm sure people aliens will look back on Independence Day and be like that was racist

[1:18:00] Certainly not any episode of this podcast

[1:18:06] Look when it's late at night, don't listen to the early episodes of this podcast, please

[1:18:11] You probably shouldn't be listening to this one, dude

[1:18:14] It's yeah, there's a lot of stuff

[1:18:17] Inclusion of all the dudettes in the audience, but then you look you took you look at a movie

[1:18:22] You look at a movie. I'm just pretty enlightened Dan. Yeah, but I look at the movies that made the biggest impression on me as a kid

[1:18:29] dark crystal, uh-huh gremlins, uh-huh gremlins 2 and RoboCop

[1:18:34] Yeah, and there's nothing I can find in those

[1:18:37] I mean, I should not have been shown RoboCop at the age

[1:18:40] Which I'd like to take this moment to say rest in peace to Miguel Ferrer an amazing actor he died today

[1:18:47] Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah. Well, thanks for bringing me down story. He was an amazing actor. Yeah

[1:18:52] So sorry, you had to find out like this

[1:18:55] This is really it dead lit technically the worst way to find out where you've been recorded on a comedy podcast

[1:19:00] I had to uh

[1:19:02] It in at home. I was like what the fuck and then sharp and my wife Charlene says

[1:19:08] What's wrong and I'm like, oh

[1:19:11] An actor, you don't know just

[1:19:14] He's so good. Even though he's amazing popped up in a movie. You knew he was the

[1:19:18] Kind of I mean, he wasn't the bad guy in Twin Peaks. I think somebody okay

[1:19:22] I reach here the thing like that scene in Twin Peaks where he gives that monologue to Sheriff Harry Truman

[1:19:29] It's amazing. Did he come back for the Trin Peaks revival? Did they like?

[1:19:33] They happen they CGI item like, you know, like like a grand Moff Tarkin shot the Twin Peaks stuff already

[1:19:40] I was wondering whether they know

[1:19:46] But I will point out that to tie it in with the movie watch tonight while checking IMDB

[1:19:51] Jim blue she's gonna be the Twin Peaks. Really? Yeah, see that I would like to like that

[1:19:56] I like that kind of casting. I like mm-hmm. Oh, that's

[1:20:00] this ad. Sorry guys. So Dan, what's the next letter?

[1:20:06] Sorry, I put the paper down and I was thinking about Miguel Ferrer.

[1:20:10] Yo folks, this is from Michael, last name with L. Very informal, little.

[1:20:15] Michael Myers. He's probably going to kill us.

[1:20:19] If you could kill and eat one person from history to gain their power,

[1:20:24] who would you kill and eat? This one's easy. Me,

[1:20:26] I'd kill and eat Kevin Bacon.

[1:20:28] So henceforth people would have to play the six degrees of Michael,

[1:20:31] last name with L. And we know what he tastes like.

[1:20:34] I love you, Michael, last name with L.

[1:20:36] Raspberries. There was a, we went to, my family went to a farm recently.

[1:20:42] I don't know. Because when you have a three-year-old,

[1:20:45] you go to a lot of farms to look at animals and there was a pig there

[1:20:48] named Kevin Bacon and Sammy thought it was the funniest joke.

[1:20:51] He doesn't know who Kevin Bacon is. He doesn't know it's a play on words.

[1:20:54] He just knows that Kevin is a name and bacon is something that doesn't taste.

[1:20:57] You didn't think that River Wild was any good?

[1:21:01] He has not seen it. Sammy's not a fan of the works of Curtis Hanson,

[1:21:06] Jerdiman director. Look, I'm just saying, it is not familiar,

[1:21:10] but I'm saying the name Kevin Bacon is funny. The thing about the name of that movie

[1:21:13] is it lets you know that it's a thriller because you know what words in that title?

[1:21:17] Wild. Oh, I mean wild. Or it could be an 80s TNA movie. River Wild.

[1:21:24] Is a character named River in that case? Or it's a biopic of Oscar Wilde.

[1:21:32] The River, comma, Wilde. It's a guy, you know, pointing out a river.

[1:21:36] Wilde is asking where his frisbee landed and someone's telling him

[1:21:41] the only thing worse than playing frisbee is not playing frisbee.

[1:21:45] I think it would also be...

[1:21:46] Have a roll, Oscar.

[1:21:47] It would also be a big fan of froth.

[1:21:51] That's what they used to call him, Frothker Wilde.

[1:21:54] Is that a Muppet baby?

[1:22:00] I think River Wilde would also be a good name for Rivers Cuomo's first solo record.

[1:22:06] But he's very sedate. That's the problem.

[1:22:09] So what was the question?

[1:22:10] Who would you eat to take the power?

[1:22:13] This is super easy, dude.

[1:22:14] Who's your answer?

[1:22:15] No question, I would eat Andre the Giant.

[1:22:17] For one, there's a lot of him, so I know I wouldn't be...

[1:22:21] Because you were worried you would go hungry with a normal human being?

[1:22:24] Yeah, I know the portion size is appropriate for a growing steward.

[1:22:30] And then also...

[1:22:30] Who serves one steward?

[1:22:31] And in his name, he's a giant.

[1:22:33] I want to be a giant.

[1:22:35] You want to be my giant?

[1:22:36] Well, the thing...

[1:22:38] I kind of already am, Dan.

[1:22:41] But no, this is a guy who's both wrestling skill and ability to consume alcohol.

[1:22:48] He's almost legendary.

[1:22:49] Yeah, very much so.

[1:22:51] So, Dan, who would you eat, I guess?

[1:22:53] I would either eat someone who I thought was...

[1:22:56] You know, like Russ Meyer or some shit.

[1:22:58] Yeah, we know.

[1:22:59] Kento Brass done.

[1:23:02] I don't need that. I already have that in my life.

[1:23:05] No, no, but you have the ability to convince women to just parade their butts around in front of your camera?

[1:23:11] I would either eat someone I think is a comedy genius.

[1:23:16] A Groucho Marx or a Steve Martin.

[1:23:19] Okay.

[1:23:19] Or I would eat...

[1:23:20] That guy's still alive, so this kind of counts as a threat.

[1:23:25] Or I would eat Paul Newman.

[1:23:28] Because he's a beautiful man who aged magnificently.

[1:23:34] You know that there's a little bit of Paul Newman in every bottle of Paul Newman salad dressing.

[1:23:39] Yeah, that's the slogan.

[1:23:40] There's a molecule of Paul Newman in there.

[1:23:42] So you'd kind of drizzle that on top of that Paul Newman, Newman's Own popcorn?

[1:23:47] Yeah.

[1:23:47] Okay, it's a trick question, guys.

[1:23:49] Eating humans is wrong.

[1:23:50] I'll tell you what I want to eat to gain its power.

[1:23:52] A dinosaur.

[1:23:53] Okay.

[1:23:54] Give me one.

[1:23:55] Just any dinosaur?

[1:23:56] I mean, I'd certainly rather have a theropod or one of the powerful carnivores.

[1:24:00] But, I mean, given the chance, if you hand me like a big...

[1:24:03] Like a little bit of, like, a Platyosaurus or one of the more boring dinosaurs, I'm still going to eat it.

[1:24:08] Sure, definitely.

[1:24:09] Give me a Dimetrodon, which is technically not a dinosaur.

[1:24:12] I'll still eat it.

[1:24:13] It just looks like a dinosaur.

[1:24:14] What about a Pterodon?

[1:24:15] A Pterosaur?

[1:24:16] Yeah, sure.

[1:24:17] A Pterodactyl or a Pteranodon?

[1:24:18] Yeah.

[1:24:19] Rhamphorhynchus?

[1:24:20] Any of those.

[1:24:21] Give it to me.

[1:24:22] Because they look like Sauron, the dinosaur man.

[1:24:23] The thing is, here's the thing.

[1:24:24] It used to be a lot easier to eat dinosaurs in your fantasies.

[1:24:26] You just take a bite.

[1:24:27] Now, because of modern science, we know they're covered in feathers.

[1:24:30] You've got to pluck those guys first.

[1:24:32] Or else you're going to get a mouthful of feathers.

[1:24:35] Uh, sure.

[1:24:36] So, there's one last...

[1:24:38] Uh, I gave a useful tip.

[1:24:40] You guys were talking about cannibalism.

[1:24:42] I gave a useful tip.

[1:24:43] That's news you can use.

[1:24:45] There's one last email.

[1:24:47] It's a tip for teens.

[1:24:48] It's really quick.

[1:24:49] I'll just...

[1:24:50] Okay, let's do this.

[1:24:51] Adam, last name withheld, says,

[1:24:53] Dear floppers, I'm stuck.

[1:24:55] Do I watch the original Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 or Castle Freak?

[1:24:59] I think it's time we had the ultimate bout between these two classic...

[1:25:03] Classic...

[1:25:05] What the...

[1:25:07] There's a typo in here, so I don't...

[1:25:09] Classics...

[1:25:10] Yeah, blame the author.

[1:25:11] ...of cinema.

[1:25:12] It's a poor carpenter, Dan.

[1:25:13] Elliot and Stuart, defend yourselves.

[1:25:15] We're in the Thunderdome now.

[1:25:16] Uh, well, Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 is a genuinely great movie.

[1:25:19] Castle Freak is, uh...

[1:25:22] Go on.

[1:25:24] It's fine for what it does.

[1:25:26] Say it to my face.

[1:25:29] I would say only one of those movies is going to leave you not feeling grimy afterwards.

[1:25:33] Actually, they'll both leave you feeling kind of grimy.

[1:25:35] Yeah, it's 70s New York, baby.

[1:25:37] Yeah, but that's cool grimy, as opposed to...

[1:25:39] Italian, the castle!

[1:25:42] As opposed to Monster Man devouring a prostitute alive.

[1:25:46] Grimy.

[1:25:47] That...

[1:25:48] Does happen.

[1:25:51] So...

[1:25:52] I mean, Jeffrey Combs' performance is great.

[1:25:55] It's difficult to compare Castle Freak,

[1:25:58] a movie I like very much,

[1:26:01] with Elliot's favorite movie.

[1:26:05] But they're both great, and we live in a free society.

[1:26:10] You shouldn't be – you're not forced to only watch one.

[1:26:13] That's true.

[1:26:14] You can watch one after another.

[1:26:15] Watch one, and then watch another one later.

[1:26:17] Watch Castle Freak, then when the kids go to sleep,

[1:26:20] put on that Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.

[1:26:22] Oh, wait a minute.

[1:26:23] I mean, neither is child-appropriate.

[1:26:24] I've been telling Sammy recently.

[1:26:26] I've been saying, telling him about movies I'm going to show him when he's older.

[1:26:29] I'm like, my favorite movie, Sammy, I'm going to show you when you're, I think, 12.

[1:26:33] And he's like, okay.

[1:26:35] And that's like a decade from now.

[1:26:37] That's nine years.

[1:26:38] You're talking about what?

[1:26:40] Castle Freak.

[1:26:41] That's what I was like.

[1:26:42] Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.

[1:26:43] I was going to say E.G. the Killer.

[1:26:46] Like, you're 12, you can handle it.

[1:26:48] He's like, ah!

[1:26:49] No, but wait until the guy takes off his sweatshirt,

[1:26:51] and he's totally buff underneath.

[1:26:53] It's hilarious.

[1:26:55] It's worth getting through all the horrible stuff for that.

[1:26:59] All right.

[1:27:01] So no definitive answer there.

[1:27:03] It's a question lost to the ages.

[1:27:05] I mean, who knows?

[1:27:06] Write in and tell us which one you watched.

[1:27:08] Watch them both.

[1:27:09] Tell them which one you like more.

[1:27:10] Or don't.

[1:27:11] Stewart and I are very secure in our opinions, in our tastes.

[1:27:15] We don't need someone else.

[1:27:16] In your manhood?

[1:27:17] Very much.

[1:27:18] I mean, I have created human beings, so I'm incredibly secure in my manhood.

[1:27:21] That little boy came out of Elliot's ball sack.

[1:27:23] He just leaped out of the ball sack.

[1:27:27] Like Athena from Zeus's ball sack.

[1:27:29] Really, it's from his head.

[1:27:31] Look.

[1:27:32] He punched his way out of your ball sack.

[1:27:34] Stewart doesn't need someone to tell him.

[1:27:36] Sounds like a species sequel in the works.

[1:27:40] Stewart, I want to talk to you about your spec porn script for this porn parody of Alien,

[1:27:45] where the alien bursts out of a guy's scrotum.

[1:27:48] Seems like a mistake.

[1:27:50] It seems like it's not sexy.

[1:27:52] It's not a very trenchant way to go about it.

[1:27:56] It seems like you're missing some obvious choices.

[1:28:00] Very clearly, the alien that bursts out of the person's chest should be a wiener,

[1:28:05] and then a lady should have sex with that wiener.

[1:28:07] Or a dude.

[1:28:08] I don't know.

[1:28:09] Look, whatever you want to do.

[1:28:10] But also, the title, Scrotum Alien, it lacks a certain subtlety.

[1:28:15] I think it's a pretty good pun.

[1:28:17] It tells you exactly what you're going to get, though.

[1:28:19] That's the beauty of it.

[1:28:20] That's fair.

[1:28:21] Like Edward Penishands.

[1:28:22] Okay, Edward Penishands is a much better play on that title.

[1:28:25] So, yeah, you look at Ridley Scott's movie Alien.

[1:28:29] It's called that because there's an alien in it, dude.

[1:28:32] Good point.

[1:28:33] How is it any less blatant than Scrotum Alien?

[1:28:36] Good point.

[1:28:37] And Prometheus is called that because it's got a Prometheus in it.

[1:28:39] Also, Scrotum Alien is going to be able to draw from two different banks of interest.

[1:28:44] People that are interested in scrotum-related activities.

[1:28:46] Your sci-fi fandom, which is very big right now.

[1:28:49] Oh, it's huge.

[1:28:50] And scrotums, like half the population has one.

[1:28:53] And the other half, a lot of them are interested in it.

[1:28:55] I mean, I don't know if I would say that.

[1:28:58] That's why women love the most, is the scrotum.

[1:29:00] Well, they probably like the texture of the skin.

[1:29:04] Oh, it's reminiscent of the skin you might find on a chicken.

[1:29:08] Yeah, or someone's elbow.

[1:29:11] Or an elbow.

[1:29:12] Thank you, Dan.

[1:29:13] It would be a pretty weird version of Mel Gibson's What Women Want.

[1:29:16] If he learns what he finds out, he can hear their thoughts and all they're thinking about is scrotums.

[1:29:21] And he's like, really?

[1:29:23] Of all the parts of a man's body, that?

[1:29:26] The deflated basketball part?

[1:29:28] Fast forward many years and Mel Gibson is this shattered, broken, racist man.

[1:29:34] He's like, it's all because of the scrotums.

[1:29:37] I can't stop seeing them in my waking nightmares.

[1:29:40] He's got a wall that's all pictures of scrotums with pieces of yarn going under them.

[1:29:44] Like, have you cracked the code?

[1:29:46] This conspiracy doesn't make sense.

[1:29:49] Damn you, time I fell in a bath with a hair dryer and gained women-based telepathy.

[1:29:57] What a stupid movie.

[1:30:00] I mean, I think I feel like that's one of those movies that everyone knew was stupid the moment it was announced like

[1:30:08] Right. It wasn't it's like the young Pope of movies

[1:30:16] So, what do we do now on this podcast and

[1:30:19] last-missed death march of a podcast Lee

[1:30:22] We recommend movies that we actually liked movies. You should watch instead of home sweet hell

[1:30:28] Anyone got anything good I got one if you don't if you guys don't want to go first

[1:30:34] So I was thinking this is a movie about an unhappy guy in an unhappy marriage who turns to an affair

[1:30:40] To get what he wants and I did recently not too long ago

[1:30:44] See a movie about that same subject that I liked except for the very ending and that's pennies from heaven

[1:30:50] Starring Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters and Christopher Walken has a small role in it

[1:30:55] And I'm sure everyone's heard of before we dances and it's set during the Depression

[1:30:59] it's an adaptation of the British mini series of the same name that Dennis Potter wrote and it is about a sheet music salesman the

[1:31:07] depression who is he dreams of owning a music store and

[1:31:10] his idea of what life is supposed to be has been informed by the popular songs of the era and

[1:31:16] That shells him what love is supposed to be what success is supposed to be what happiness is supposed to be and he

[1:31:23] Lies and seduces a schoolteacher into an affair and their lives kind of spiral out of control

[1:31:28] but it's very much a musical where the

[1:31:31] Performers are lip-syncing to the songs of the era and the musical numbers in it are

[1:31:36] Gorgeous a lot of them and the dancing is really good

[1:31:38] The movie itself is super bleak and the ending they tack on a kind of fantasy

[1:31:44] Happy ending that's supposed to be a fantasy, but and it makes the whole thing that much bleaker

[1:31:49] So the ending I actually found it made it too unpalatable, but up to that point. I really liked a lot and it was

[1:31:56] Steve Martin is playing a main character who is not a likable person, but at times gets your sympathy

[1:32:03] But does bad things and it's a bleak movie, but it's an interesting

[1:32:08] tonally

[1:32:11] What's the one I'm thinking about

[1:32:13] It's just an interesting movie and the musical numbers are really good

[1:32:16] All right, so Elliot recommends bleak house by Charles Dickens. No

[1:32:21] bleak movie by Herbert Ross

[1:32:24] I watched a movie that's still in theaters. It's called Manchester by the Sea. Oh, yeah

[1:32:33] You'll see that movie a little more can't get

[1:32:37] Like the bean town bad boy

[1:32:43] Bean town bad boy Casey Affleck strikes again

[1:32:46] Boston Jewels stolen

[1:32:49] Boston Batman after Casey Affleck bean down Batman asked us about it. We got a wicked crime over here Robin

[1:32:59] Get in the back car

[1:33:02] No, I don't touch that it's hot lava Harvey Dent. Can we trust him? Oh

[1:33:08] Harvey

[1:33:10] Commissioner we gotta find a joker

[1:33:14] Stupid accent great town though. Great town

[1:33:21] Time to announce that live show

[1:33:24] The fire rises. Oh, wow. I don't think it's any secret that

[1:33:30] I'm not a very happy person a lot of the time. Oh poor dude. I

[1:33:35] Was I was having a bad day?

[1:33:38] My my thoughts were bleak much like the movie pennies from heaven

[1:33:43] And I made plans to see Manchester by the Sea and almost immediately regretted it thinking

[1:33:49] What the hell why would I what am I doing to myself?

[1:33:54] And is this movie just gonna make me want to kill myself. What's going on?

[1:33:59] What's going on

[1:34:03] But this you expect another

[1:34:05] With this you expect another

[1:34:08] Laugh riot balls to the wall action cut to action a flick from Kenny Lonergan

[1:34:13] famed comedy action auteur Kenneth Lonergan

[1:34:18] But well, the thing is when I when I got there, I mean like the thing about Ken Lonergan movies is they're not

[1:34:25] They're not wacky comedies by any stretch. They're not like boring imagination. No, yeah, but there is a lot of

[1:34:31] humor in his work like he

[1:34:35] He's very talented with

[1:34:38] his characterization is so specific and

[1:34:41] So human that there's a lot that's funny about it. Even when the situations are

[1:34:47] tragic and

[1:34:49] Manchester by the Sea is almost

[1:34:51] ridiculously tragic in the situation that it depicts but

[1:34:56] The the cinematography is beautiful. The performances are great. I mean

[1:35:01] you know people have

[1:35:04] Said a lot of things about Casey Affleck, but it is a Beantown bad boy

[1:35:12] Quote one Stuart Wellington, Michelle Williams and Cal Chandler are excellent in it. The the kid whoever he is

[1:35:19] Is Jack?

[1:35:23] But if you're scared of the movie, right the kid

[1:35:27] I guess I'm saying if you're scared of the movie because you think it's just gonna depress you. It's just a movie. It's

[1:35:34] Yeah, just keep telling yourself. It's just there's no actual wish masters

[1:35:40] You can't get lost through the waxworks portal of time

[1:35:44] That reminds me of the the much much laughed about tagline for the new rings movie

[1:35:50] Which is a sequel to either the ring Ringu or the ring to?

[1:35:56] Where the tagline on the poster just says first you see it then you die

[1:36:03] An interesting

[1:36:05] Invitation and also it's a description of every movie ever made. Very true. Yeah

[1:36:11] Then encompasses a certain amount of time. Yeah, the point is Manchester by the sea is

[1:36:16] so good that even if you're

[1:36:19] Feeling awful. Mm-hmm. You're gonna find a lot to enjoy so mope don't walk to Manchester by the sea

[1:36:25] I don't know

[1:36:26] I mean, I'm I'm kind of a believer in the idea of like if I'm feeling down sometimes listening to like

[1:36:32] Hilariously depressive music can make me feel better. Yeah, or like watching something I think

[1:36:38] You know watching something my my wife and I are a little different

[1:36:42] She doesn't she doesn't like watching stressful things because her life is stressful enough

[1:36:47] Whereas I like to watch super fucking stressful stuff because it helps me break the tension. Yeah, that's sort of thing

[1:36:53] Mm-hmm. It's a catharsis in it kind of on that note the one misstep. I think the movie has is when the dance party ending

[1:37:02] Yeah, it's like the end is that too. We chief

[1:37:09] Yeah

[1:37:12] Love that they're all dancing

[1:37:14] And the dancing is really good at the end of that. Oh, itchy. No the the the central tragedy of the movie which happens

[1:37:23] You know around the middle portion of the film. No spoilers. I won't say what it is. It is almost

[1:37:30] Hilariously tragic like it is so far into the realm of tragic that it's like

[1:37:36] Like the sort of thing that if we're just joking around there's a decent chance. We would fucking hit it in a super sweet three-point shot

[1:37:43] Yeah, but so this horrible thing happens in the middle of the movie and it is scored to the most

[1:37:50] overbearing Lee

[1:37:51] dramatic like

[1:37:54] classical piece of music with like her mean of her honor huge

[1:37:58] Like I don't know if it is church music, but it sounds like like

[1:38:03] Classics, so it's kind of like in platoon when when they're playing that classical music over him at the end and you're like I get it

[1:38:09] Yeah, exactly and you're like I get it night owl hallelujah

[1:38:15] It's the sort of thing where you're doing it with Sally Jupiter great

[1:38:18] This would be a lot more effective if there was just no music and it played out and just reality

[1:38:24] Instead of just I'm walking on

[1:38:28] I mean, you know, I'm glad that Katrina and the waves got their little taste

[1:38:35] I said if I'm making money Katrina and the waves are making money

[1:38:39] That's the deal I made with the devil. That's why I said their music scores my hit play lobby hero

[1:38:47] Anyway, it's good movie see it Stu

[1:38:51] I'm going to recommend

[1:38:53] I'm actually gonna recommend two

[1:38:55] series of movies

[1:38:57] Because by the time this comes out you'll have about a month or so before

[1:39:01] Each of these horror movie franchises are gonna get a fancy box set blue-ray

[1:39:07] I know one of them so I'd recommend checking these out

[1:39:10] I probably recommend some of these movies individually

[1:39:12] But I think there's a great time for you to check them out

[1:39:14] And also this will be a great time for me to fucking finally see the last one of these

[1:39:19] I'm gonna stop beating around the bush

[1:39:22] So the first

[1:39:24] the first well, I'm gonna recommend the

[1:39:27] the phantasm movies and the wish master movies

[1:39:31] both of those are a little bit like

[1:39:35] I'll say

[1:39:36] Be horror movies. I think I'm being a little unfair to phantasm phantasm is slightly above that level is above that

[1:39:43] Master's but they're both kind of they're both low-budget horror movies. Yes, and the phantasm movies are genuinely great and

[1:39:51] They get more interesting as the series

[1:39:54] Maybe not as the series goes on but they're just interesting and strange and weird. Well the mythologies

[1:40:00] This mythology definitely and the story goes places you don't expect it exactly and that's there's a

[1:40:07] Definite joy to that and the fact that each movie begins immediately

[1:40:11] Where the last one left off is no matter how much time has passed for the answer

[1:40:18] You're like wait, how does that guy have no hair he had hair in the scene

[1:40:22] This is gonna be the first time that some of these movies are gonna get like a blu-ray treatment at all. So that's great

[1:40:28] And I actually haven't even seen the fifth one yet. I haven't seen fatten has more average or even though it's been available

[1:40:32] I just haven't when did it come out? I think it was on VOD for a little while there

[1:40:37] Probably I feel like I missed the window or something and I'm dumb and lazy sometimes

[1:40:42] So that's what happened and I kind of want to know that I'm gonna have a big chunk of time so that I can sit

[1:40:48] And watch it all the way through watch it. Yeah, I want to do I want to run the series unmolested

[1:40:53] Get your corn get your giant soda, it's gonna require me to set up some kind of a wacky baby's day out for my wife

[1:41:08] He swallows a diamond or something Charlene is walking across a girder

[1:41:13] they're trying to follow her and

[1:41:15] The and then the other series is the Wishmaster series, which is definitely a goofy b-horror movie series

[1:41:21] The first one is is really great and fun

[1:41:24] I think they definitely go downhill after that, but you know, there's still moments

[1:41:29] It depends on what your mileage was that with that thing is so obviously take it with a grain of salt

[1:41:34] I will say that the first one manages to feature a ton of great b-horror movie actors including

[1:41:40] phantasm superstar Reggie Bannister himself

[1:41:43] Who plays the character Reg in the in the phantasm movies?

[1:41:49] Just just what seeing the phantasm movies play the character Bannister the living banister

[1:41:53] Seeing the reg go from the sidekick essentially the county sidekick to being the hero

[1:41:59] It's really great is amazing. It's a magical moment

[1:42:02] Well, it's the moment when he takes two double-barreled shotguns and using a little bit of ingenuity turns it into a four-barrel

[1:42:10] shotgun

[1:42:12] Hmm I love that scene and like 80s movies, but it's just like we're gonna just like low-tech

[1:42:20] Create awesome new weapons. Well, then we're just gonna duct-tape a couple of things together and all of a sudden it's a super weapon

[1:42:28] I remember watching phantasm 2 for the first time on a VHS tape and being like almost immediately being like what the fuck is

[1:42:36] This wait, this is picking up immediately where the last one left off and not even really remembering the first one that much

[1:42:42] And having to like as soon as that that one ended going back and re-watching the first phantasm because I'm what I had no idea

[1:42:49] What was happening?

[1:42:51] No, it's great

[1:42:54] So that's it for us

[1:42:57] We're dying. That's all I get. That's it. That's is that all there is

[1:43:03] To this episode this a long episode. So yes

[1:43:07] Longer than the movie again. We did it both

[1:43:10] We've continued our contract with the devil

[1:43:16] What are we getting out of this contract

[1:43:18] I feel like it's just like speed thing where if we ever record an episode shorter than the movie

[1:43:22] Dennis Hopper will blow us up devil the devil's like you got those sweet messenger bags

[1:43:27] Didn't you looks like I'm holding in my end of the blog in

[1:43:33] the classic fade up

[1:43:36] Love it

[1:43:37] All right. Well, let's sign off before this runs even longer for the flop house. I've been Dan McCoy. Hey

[1:43:45] Stewart Wellington Elliot Cailin here saying good night

[1:44:01] So Charlene is really keen on the idea of getting everybody matching pajamas for the

[1:44:08] It'll be pretty funny

[1:44:11] The feet right? Yeah with feet I wear those

[1:44:17] Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned

[1:44:21] Listener supported. Why would you listen to a podcast of TV pilots that never got made? It must not have been any good, right?

[1:44:28] I don't know for a fact that anyone

[1:44:31] They couldn't get a deal that first kind of a regime change

[1:44:33] Someone at the studio who was in a decision-making capacity said these guys seem like losers if they just blamed it on

[1:44:40] Okay. Well, it must be women. We got word that USA had decided to stop doing comedy. Why aren't we making this?

[1:44:47] It was so good here the TV comedies. You never got to see on the dead pilot society podcast

[1:44:53] Listen on maximum fun org or wherever you download podcasts

Ep. #222 - Home Sweet Hell

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