Ep. #236 - Suicide Squad LIVE

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On tonight's episode, live from the Bell House, we discuss Suicide Squad.

Elliott Kalan

[0:11] But Dan, this is going to be our shortest episode ever because that movie was really good.

[0:18] All right, got it in one.

[0:30] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[0:47] I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:00] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05] Chain rattle, ghost sounds, Halloween sounds.

[1:08] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:09] All right.

Dan McCoy

[1:12] Number one, inappropriate.

[1:14] That's not.

[1:15] What?

[1:16] When did you become the arbiter of appropriateness, Dan?

[1:20] It's not near Halloween.

[1:21] I don't understand what that was about.

Elliott Kalan

[1:23] Who knows when people will listen to this?

[1:24] Yeah, fair enough.

[1:26] Number two.

[1:27] What if this is on Billy Pilgrim's iPod and he's like, oh, it wasn't Halloween when I started listening, but now it is.

[1:32] I fell through a time warp or something.

[1:33] Yeah, you're right.

Dan McCoy

[1:34] It's probably on fictional character Billy Pilgrim's iPod.

[1:38] Guys, true story.

[1:40] Because we're in front of a bunch of people, when we were doing the introductions, I momentarily forgot my own name.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48] That happens.

[1:49] That happens.

[1:50] It's okay.

[1:51] We'll work through this together.

Stuart Wellington

[1:52] Is that what you do when you stare off into the distance and get silent?

[1:57] Do you just think of your own name?

Dan McCoy

[1:59] Let's not talk about the dark places I go to.

Elliott Kalan

[2:03] Hey, Dan.

[2:04] So, what do we do on this podcast?

[2:07] All right.

Dan McCoy

[2:08] Thanks for asking.

[2:09] Your name is Dan.

[2:09] Thanks for asking, Elliot.

[2:12] This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[2:18] Do we usually have so many people in your apartment, Dan?

[2:23] I don't know where they came from and they won't leave.

[2:27] But we're glad that they're here to listen to us talk about Suicide Squad.

[2:33] Squad Squad.

[2:34] Squad.

Elliott Kalan

[2:36] Suicide.

[2:38] Suicide.

[2:38] Dude's getting fun here.

[2:39] Squad.

[2:40] Oop.

[2:42] La squadra.

[2:43] Yep.

[2:44] Di suicito.

[2:46] Suiciti.

[2:47] Which sounds better fake Italian.

[2:51] This was a movie.

[2:52] Squadum suicidum.

Stuart Wellington

[2:55] All right.

[2:56] Was it a movie, Dan?

[2:58] This was a movie that...

Elliott Kalan

[2:59] Are you sure this was a movie?

[3:01] And not like a trailer for a video game?

Dan McCoy

[3:05] Funny you should talk about trailers because a lot of people thought this was going to be

[3:08] a really good movie based on the trailer.

[3:10] The trailer made it look like a fun lark.

[3:13] A romp in the Guardians of the Galaxy thing.

[3:15] Now, people talk about...

[3:17] People say stuff like that as if there was a betrayal involved.

Elliott Kalan

[3:19] As if the purpose of a trailer wasn't to make you want to go see a movie.

[3:25] As if the trailer should have opened with a voice saying,

[3:27] In a world where movies are often disappointing.

[3:31] Get ready for another.

Stuart Wellington

[3:33] When did these commercials for movies become so commercial?

Elliott Kalan

[3:37] When even as a wee babe, my father would tell me,

[3:40] Eh, they put all the best parts in the trailer.

[3:42] He stopped saying that the day we went to see a movie called Gremlins 2 The New Batch.

[3:47] Because there were too many good parts to fit in a trailer.

Stuart Wellington

[3:51] Yeah, they would have to play the whole movie as the trailer.

[3:52] Yeah.

[3:53] And then, of course, you're like,

[3:54] I don't need to see the movie as all the good parts.

Elliott Kalan

[3:56] And Joe Dante's like, rats, my residuals.

Dan McCoy

[3:59] This is the only audience where a mention of Gremlins 2 The New Batch is a pander.

Elliott Kalan

[4:06] I know our crowd.

[4:07] So, Dan, a lot of people saw this trailer and they said,

[4:09] That's going to be a fun movie.

[4:10] It looks like it's got jokes, it's got folks, it's got spokes on wheels.

Dan McCoy

[4:14] It's like a hot topic brought to life.

[4:18] And animated and, man, there's all my favorite characters.

[4:22] All my favorite.

[4:22] Well, here's, well.

[4:24] Will Smith and the other guy.

Elliott Kalan

[4:26] Again, you're saying that like it's a joke.

[4:27] People do say, oh, Will Smith's in that movie?

[4:29] I like him.

[4:29] No, it's a huge star, Dan.

[4:30] That's why you put stars in movies.

[4:32] You're questioning the underpinnings of the film business.

[4:36] Like, this is a new thing.

[4:38] Oh, they just put that big star in that movie to get people to go see it.

Stuart Wellington

[4:41] Yeah, they put Viola Davis in it, so it's got to actually be decent as opposed to terrible, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[4:47] Hmm.

[4:48] That's where the thesis falls apart.

[4:50] Sure.

[4:51] Why don't you tell us a little bit about this movie, Elliot?

[4:53] I'll tell you a little bit about it.

[4:55] So, Suicide Squad imagines a world where superheroes are real.

[5:00] Wow, you're showing me to the core.

Dan McCoy

[5:03] Are we ready for such a thing in 2017?

Elliott Kalan

[5:06] Now, Suicide Squad is the latest chapter in the DCMUS, the DC movie universe stuff, in which DC looks at Marvel and goes, hey, I want that.

[5:19] And so, recently, this will show when we're recording this, recently, we covered Superman v. Batman, Justice of a Nation or something.

[5:27] And it posited a world where superheroes are kind of violent, grim figures who are always beating each other up in abandoned men's rooms.

[5:34] And, like, just killing each other left and right.

[5:37] But for Suicide Squad, they had made a twist.

[5:39] They said, what if the heroes are really grim, violent guys who kill each other?

[5:44] That would be a crazy twist, right?

[5:47] Nothing like the previous movie we just made.

[5:50] Well, ironically, like, the bad guys in this movie are much lighter than Superman and Batman.

[5:56] There's a much smaller body count for the villains who were turned heroes in this movie than for Superman.

[6:01] Who destroyed a city and did not seem to care.

Dan McCoy

[6:04] No, well, yeah, stuff to do.

Stuart Wellington

[6:05] Well, it's strange because this movie also sets up the idea of forming an elite team of villains turned, I guess, heroes.

Elliott Kalan

[6:12] That's also a ragtag squad of underdogs.

Stuart Wellington

[6:14] It's based around the idea that, like, what if a superhero showed up that isn't a good guy?

[6:19] And I'm like, I thought the government already thought Superman was a bad guy.

[6:22] They nuked him in space.

[6:23] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[6:25] So, anyway, Suicide Squad.

[6:26] This movie has roughly 17 openings.

[6:30] We're first introduced to...

[6:32] Let me try to dig through the onion of layers back to the beginning of this movie.

[6:36] Deadshot.

[6:37] Deadshot.

[6:37] We're introduced to...

[6:38] So, here are the characters.

Dan McCoy

[6:39] To the House of the Rising Sun.

[6:40] There's a music cue for every fucking person.

Elliott Kalan

[6:42] The music budget for this movie must have been enormous.

[6:46] Every...

[6:46] They must have said...

[6:47] I mean, I guess it's a Warner movie, so they just flung open the doors of the Warner Library and said,

[6:51] Go Hog Wild.

[6:53] Put in every southern rock hit and every rap hit you can imagine that's as on the nose as possible.

[7:00] There's literally...

[7:01] When Joker comes back, they're literally playing, like, Shady's back and stuff like that.

[7:05] Like, it's ridiculous.

[7:09] The...

[7:09] But, anyway.

[7:11] Deadshot.

[7:12] He's a super assassin.

[7:13] His special power is...

[7:14] He can use a gun.

[7:15] He's really good with shooting people.

[7:17] Harley Quinn.

[7:18] The Joker's girlfriend.

[7:19] Her special power is she hits people with a bat.

[7:22] Killer Croc.

[7:23] Actual special power.

[7:24] He's like a crocodile man.

[7:26] Captain Boomerang.

[7:27] Special power.

[7:28] Throws boomerangs.

[7:28] He's got boomerangs, guys.

Dan McCoy

[7:31] Watch out.

[7:32] Watch out, America, because boomerangs are coming for you.

[7:35] They're going to come at you and then they're going to fly back around.

[7:39] So...

Stuart Wellington

[7:39] I thought that's what America was...

[7:41] Power and fear, I guess.

[7:42] I thought America was looking out for boomerangs in the 80s when Yahoo Serious and Crocodile Dundee were at their peak.

Elliott Kalan

[7:47] That's right.

[7:48] They were terrorizing the nation.

[7:50] Yeah, those two guys were just...

[7:52] Yahoo Serious just walked across the shore in the Pacific and Crocodile Dundee made land in Manhattan

[7:57] and they just walked through the country spreading boomerang-based terror until they reached the middle.

[8:03] Whoever wins, we lose.

[8:05] Yeah.

[8:05] And there was El Diablo who has fire powers.

[8:12] And who...

[8:12] Everyone gets their backstory told, their backstory told again, and like an introductory powers demo scene.

[8:21] And it's like the movie thinks that you're...

[8:23] The movie is like, look, this movie was for people who got hit on the head a lot.

[8:30] We got to keep reminding them who these characters are.

[8:33] How are they going to remember that Killer Croc is the guy with crocodile skin?

[8:38] And how are they going to remember that Harley Quinn is the one woman until Katana literally walks onto a plane and they go, oh yeah, Katana's on the team too.

[8:46] Or like Slipknot who has a few minutes in the movie.

[8:49] Literally all the bad guys that we've seen up to this point, they all got their backstories told.

[8:53] And each of their backstories is like a miniature movie where they removed all the connective tissue so that you don't really know what happened in their adventure.

[9:00] Suddenly shows up, and I'll tell you this.

[9:02] There's a lot of potential in something like that.

[9:04] It's like how in every James Bond movie it starts off with a little mini-adventure.

[9:07] Just to remind you, who's this James Bond guy?

[9:09] Oh yeah, the coolest guy in the history of the world.

[9:12] Now I remember.

[9:13] Okay, titles and let's get on to the real story.

Dan McCoy

[9:16] Slipknot, by the way, though, gets like one line.

[9:19] He literally walks off a car.

Elliott Kalan

[9:21] He like opens a car door and steps out while the villains...

Dan McCoy

[9:24] And someone says, oh, that's Slipknot.

[9:25] He can climb anything.

Stuart Wellington

[9:28] He then proceeds to punch a woman in the face.

Elliott Kalan

[9:32] Yeah.

[9:32] And then as soon as they get to their mission, he tries to run away,

Dan McCoy

[9:35] and the grenade that they've embedded in his nanak grenade in his neck blows up and he's dead.

Elliott Kalan

[9:40] So we'll get to the nanak grenades.

[9:41] But essentially, so here's what...

[9:43] Sorry, Stuart.

[9:45] Stuart really became attached to Slipknot in the marketing campaign preceding the film.

[9:50] So Slipknot is literally the Mikey Likes It of this movie.

[9:55] Yeah, bring Slipknot in.

[9:56] He can climb anything.

[9:58] Let's try the nanak grenades on Slipknot.

[10:00] Blows up his neck.

[10:01] Hey, it works.

[10:03] And villain tested the government proof.

Stuart Wellington

[10:05] But at least he has a clear ability.

[10:07] Like when they bring Harley Quinn in, they're like, she's a wild card.

Dan McCoy

[10:10] Yeah.

[10:11] She's got crazy powers.

Elliott Kalan

[10:14] She's...

[10:14] I mean, she's in a...

[10:15] When the point in a movie where someone's really gotten the shit beaten out of them and

[10:19] they're almost dead, and then the bad guy goes like, oh, will I keep you alive to see

[10:22] your wife killed first?

[10:23] And puts a gun to the wife's head.

[10:25] And suddenly you get anger strength and your wounds instantly heal.

[10:28] And you get the strength to throw that guy off a building.

[10:30] That's Harley Quinn all the time.

Stuart Wellington

[10:33] Who's playing that villain?

[10:35] Yeah.

[10:35] Is that Chevy Cario?

[10:36] Clearly.

Elliott Kalan

[10:37] Clearly it's Udo Kier doing an impression of a guy who does a bad Udo Kier impression.

[10:44] Wow.

[10:45] He's a very talented actor.

[10:46] Layers upon layers.

[10:47] These characters are introduced to us numerous times.

[10:50] The first 45 minutes of the movie...

[10:53] Now, there are a lot of movies where they're putting together the heist team, and it takes

[10:56] a long time.

[10:56] And that's great.

[10:57] This movie takes like 45 minutes to explain the same five characters over and over again.

Dan McCoy

[11:03] Get it?

[11:03] Okay.

[11:04] Here's what they're going to do.

[11:05] I mean, this movie thinks that it's me at a party where you, you know, you tell me your

[11:09] name and then five minutes later, I'm like, I have no idea who this guy is.

Elliott Kalan

[11:13] So they're all at some crazy, some crazy supervillain prison down in New Orleans.

[11:18] And...

[11:18] What's it?

[11:19] What's your problem with names, Dan?

Stuart Wellington

[11:21] Yours?

[11:22] Other people's?

Dan McCoy

[11:26] You make a good point.

[11:28] I should probably see a neurologist.

Elliott Kalan

[11:30] Now, Viola Davis playing Amanda Waller, the toughest character in the comics, because she

[11:36] has no powers, like most of the heroes in the movie.

[11:40] She is...

[11:41] She puts together...

[11:42] It's her idea to put together this Team X of the worst of the worst.

[11:46] Again, not as bad as the real heroes in the universe who destroy cities, but the worst

[11:51] of the worst.

[11:51] And put them on one team to go on missions where they're easily expendable.

[11:55] And there's a lot of plausible deniability, because it's like, oh, that monster destroyed

[11:59] a city.

[11:59] Someone stopped him.

[12:00] Ah, it must have been some bad guys who fought with him and they died.

[12:03] We don't know about it.

Stuart Wellington

[12:03] Yeah, when she approaches the government, she's like, hey, check out this amazing video of

[12:07] a guy.

[12:07] And it's just this kind of boring video of a bunch of people being set on fire.

Elliott Kalan

[12:11] Like, oh, I think you oversold it.

[12:12] There, Amanda Waller.

[12:12] She says something like, the video is incredible.

[12:14] And then it's like, the worst looking After Effects fire effects.

[12:18] And there's also her first agent, Enchantress, an archaeologist who discovered some evil sorcerer

[12:24] witch's heart and opened the bottle it was in.

[12:27] And the sorcerer witch took over her body.

[12:30] And now she's like...

Dan McCoy

[12:32] Now she looks like the girl from The Ring.

[12:33] And she's like...

[12:34] In a bikini.

[12:35] She hangs out and she makes out with Joel Kinnaman, the new Robocop.

Elliott Kalan

[12:40] And this movie operates in the universe where unless your name is Viola Davis, you have

[12:45] to wear some kind of outfit that shows your belly or has your butt hanging out of it for

[12:49] all the time.

[12:50] Because Harley Quinn's costume is basically like the smallest shorts you can make without

[12:55] them being not shorts anymore.

[12:57] And they're just underpants.

[12:58] And the Enchantress, who's a super powerful, you know, demon wizardess, is just like dressed

[13:04] in a bikini, basically.

Stuart Wellington

[13:04] That's how they dressed in the olden days, Elliot.

[13:07] Good point.

Elliott Kalan

[13:08] The olden days of the, what, 80s spring break, I guess?

Dan McCoy

[13:12] That's the one power she doesn't have is to spirit up more clothes.

[13:15] She can't do it.

Elliott Kalan

[13:16] Oh, man.

[13:16] She can't do it.

[13:17] It's like Spawn.

[13:18] So Enchantress sets some plot in motion.

[13:21] She escapes.

[13:22] And she sets some plot in motion that involves turning a regular guy into a giant gold monster

[13:26] man with tendrils that come out of his hands and hit people.

[13:29] Yeah.

[13:30] And when they do that, she also turns regular people into kind of like black mold blob monsters

[13:35] who are actually much less effective than regular people would be at fighting.

[13:40] And her plan involves, and this is something you've never seen in a superhero movie before

[13:45] or any movie before, opening up a portal through which, a blue portal with a beam of light coming

[13:53] out of it through which something, yes.

[13:58] Yeah, something's going to happen.

[13:59] I don't know.

[13:59] I honestly couldn't tell if something was going to come out, go through, explode.

[14:03] What was, I don't remember what the portal was for.

[14:05] She goes, she's like building a weapon.

[14:06] And she says to Violde Davis later in the capture, she goes, now tell me how to destroy

[14:10] your forces.

Dan McCoy

[14:10] And it's like, I don't know, blow them up or something like this.

[14:13] Bullets, dude.

[14:14] We don't have vampire soldiers.

[14:15] They're human beings.

[14:16] You can just like, pretty much anything kills us.

[14:18] Like, you don't need to like, look on our Wikipedia page to figure out how to, like, what our

[14:23] weakness is.

Elliott Kalan

[14:25] Get that issue of National Geographic with the article on humans.

[14:28] What's their weakness?

[14:31] Cut their Achilles tendon or something?

[14:33] Just try some shit.

[14:36] So, Entranterous Goes Nuts in Midway City, which I am not a DC fan enough to know if

[14:41] that's a real DC fictional city.

[14:42] I assume it is.

[14:43] There's a lot of little Easter eggs in this movie for the DC fans, such as the moment when

[14:47] Harley Quinn is thinking about her boyfriend, the Jokemer, played by Jared Leto in what's

[14:54] essentially the-

Stuart Wellington

[14:55] He gets almost no introduction.

[14:56] It's kind of crazy.

[14:57] It's the Joker.

[14:58] Okay, this is the biggest name character-

Elliott Kalan

[15:00] In a movie with all introductions.

[15:01] I guess it's not the biggest name character because Batman is in the movie.

[15:04] Batman just kind of shows up and punches people and then walks away.

[15:08] And the Joker, they just kind of cut to him and he's like, hey!

[15:11] And then that's-

[15:12] Like, there's no big buildup.

[15:15] Every time the Joker appears, they just cut to him like, oh yeah, he was in that scene

[15:18] too, the Joker.

Dan McCoy

[15:20] I mean, the Joker feels like he's visiting from another movie.

[15:24] Like, he's just like, oh, I thought I'd stop by Suicide Squad.

[15:26] What's going on in here?

[15:26] Not much?

[15:27] Okay.

[15:27] Gotta go.

[15:29] Because, like, he is completely extraneous to the plot.

[15:32] Like, he keeps showing up and trying to save Harley Quinn, but he is bad at it.

[15:37] Like, every time, she's like, he's in a helicopter and the helicopter gets blown up and she's like,

[15:42] okay, well, I'm back again, guys.

[15:44] I guess I'm-

[15:45] Can I still be part of your squad?

[15:47] Is that okay?

[15:48] But there's a moment where-

Stuart Wellington

[15:49] Every scene the Joker looks like he just showed up from attending a party viewing of

[15:55] the Baz Luhrmann Romeo and Juliet.

Elliott Kalan

[15:57] He dressed up for a midnight screening of Romeo plus Juliet.

[16:02] Yeah.

[16:03] And he's like, oh, I'm so busy, I don't have time to change.

[16:06] I guess I'll just have to keep wearing this tuxedo unbuttoned with no tie.

[16:10] Yeah, that's crazy, right?

[16:11] My gold caps, my silver cap teeth, and all my tattoos.

[16:15] But he's a pretty lackluster Joker.

[16:18] And I guess you do get the sense that Jared Leto, they just decided they didn't like him

[16:23] and they just cut him a lot out of the movie.

[16:25] He's still in the movie a fair amount, but it does feel like-

Dan McCoy

[16:28] When you send used condoms to your co-workers as a way of getting into the character as the

[16:34] Joker, I think that you, like, the best you can hope for is being cut from the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[16:40] I think that points to his misconception of the Joker character.

[16:44] Because the Joker, let's just call him what he is, he's the clown prince of crime.

[16:47] The guy's always, give him, say what you will about him, homicidal maniac, he loves to laugh.

[16:52] And he is, at least he's having a good time and he's not afraid to do it.

[16:55] He just wants to pull everyone else into the party.

[16:57] Look, it's the Joker.

Stuart Wellington

[16:58] Stop selling us the Joker.

Elliott Kalan

[17:01] Look, I'm just not sure if you guys have heard of this new character, the Joker.

[17:05] I think he's got a lot going for him.

[17:07] I mean, he has no powers and he's basically just a clown that kills people with knives,

[17:11] but the world's greatest detective can't stop him.

[17:13] So, that detective being, of course, Benedict Cumberbatch.

[17:18] You can't stop him because the Joker's not a real person and Benedict Cumberbatch is.

[17:22] And Benedict Cumberbatch...

[17:23] So wait, hold on, hold on.

[17:24] He's just looking at...

[17:25] Hold on.

[17:25] No, he reads...

[17:26] The actor Benedict Cumberbatch is the greatest detective.

[17:29] Yes, the actor Benedict Cumberbatch, as you just said.

[17:32] So what?

[17:32] He is just reading a Batman comic going, ooh, I wish I could stop you.

[17:38] And trying to put his fingers through the comic.

[17:41] And he's like, if only I had some kind of last action hero ticket that worked for comics.

[17:45] What if he put it in...

[17:45] But I would never rip a comic to get into the comic.

[17:48] It would ruin its resale value.

[17:49] Me, the world's biggest comic collector, Benedict Cumberbatch?

Stuart Wellington

[17:53] I feel like Nicolas Cage is going to sue us for you saying that last part.

Elliott Kalan

[17:57] I love that the...

[17:59] Guys, I'm the biggest comic book collector, okay?

[18:01] I collect comic books and I collect illegally sourced Mongolian dinosaur skulls.

Dan McCoy

[18:07] I love that Benedict Cumberbatch just goes around proclaiming him the world's biggest everything.

[18:13] Like he goes into McDonald's.

[18:14] Give me a Happy Meal.

[18:16] Me, Benedict Cumberbatch, the world's biggest collector of Happy Meals.

Elliott Kalan

[18:19] No, he would say, the world's biggest kid.

[18:23] I may be older on the outside, but I'm young on the inside.

[18:26] He goes to Toys R Us.

[18:28] This is the place for me.

[18:29] I don't want to grow up.

[18:30] I'm Benedict Cumberbatch.

[18:34] So he's just trying to convince everybody he has that Jack disease where he ages really fast.

Dan McCoy

[18:39] Proving the old comedy adage that it's just fun to say Benedict Cumberbatch over and over again.

Elliott Kalan

[18:44] So, what we...

[18:46] Oh, there's a moment.

[18:46] I won't even get tired.

[18:47] No, forget it.

[18:48] I was going to talk about a moment that's not important.

[18:49] Let's get back to the plot.

[18:50] Our Suicide Squad has been assembled several times.

[18:53] It's off to the mission.

[18:55] There's a big monster who's attacking Midway City.

[18:59] Entrantress is opening up her portal.

[19:00] The Suicide Squad is told they're going in to rescue some famous scientist.

[19:04] In actuality, they're rescuing Amanda Waller herself.

[19:08] And they get really mad that they've been lied to about everything.

[19:10] This is all stuff that the audience has been well aware of throughout the entire movie.

[19:14] So when Deadshot finds a binder and reads it instantly and tells his local squaddies that,

[19:23] hey, we've been had.

[19:24] This isn't the fun and games we were set up for.

[19:27] They're like, let's just go get a drink in a bar for a while.

[19:30] Because there's a lot of forced camaraderie in this movie.

[19:34] And I get it.

[19:34] It's about a team of misfits.

Dan McCoy

[19:36] Hey, they're not team flares, but they become team flares.

[19:38] Nay, they become a family.

Elliott Kalan

[19:42] Perhaps that's stretching it a little far.

[19:45] But there's a lot of forced, uh-oh, now's the moment where they start to connect.

[19:51] But it doesn't quite feel like it works for me.

Stuart Wellington

[19:54] Yeah, that crusty, crunchy exterior has a nice, soft inside.

[19:58] That sounds delicious, Stuart.

[19:59] I know.

Dan McCoy

[20:00] You just described the perfect meat pie.

[20:05] Suicide Squad.

Elliott Kalan

[20:07] Suicide Squad.

[20:08] Mrs. Lovitz.

[20:10] What an out-of-place reference.

[20:13] To no good effect.

[20:15] Why stop now?

[20:17] We were just talking about Benedict Cumberbatch talking back to comic books.

[20:22] Do we even care how they stop the Enchantress?

[20:25] No.

[20:25] They do it.

[20:26] A bunch of them.

[20:27] They're followed by a group of real regular soldiers who, of course, exist,

[20:30] only to be killed by the bad guys to show how bad the bad guys are.

Stuart Wellington

[20:34] And to highlight the question of why did they need the Suicide Squad, they already have a bunch of soldier dudes.

[20:40] Yeah, like what is Harley Quinn going to do?

Elliott Kalan

[20:43] Won't go with a hammer.

[20:44] Yeah.

[20:45] Well, she shows you that big clown hammer and she never uses it.

[20:48] She just uses a baseball bat and a pistol.

[20:51] Disappointing.

[20:52] She pulls up her regular Harley Quinn costume.

[20:54] Let's get one thing straight.

[20:55] The old Harley Quinn.

[20:57] My dad's Harley Quinn.

[21:00] Which was my Harley Quinn because my dad wasn't watching Batman the Animated Series.

[21:04] That original Harley Quinn.

[21:05] Why not, Ellie?

[21:06] It's pretty good.

[21:07] What?

[21:07] It's pretty good.

[21:08] No, it's a great show.

[21:08] I tried to get him to watch it.

[21:10] He was like, but I want to watch a grown-up show.

Stuart Wellington

[21:13] Neon, Evangelion, whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[21:17] He's like, American animation will never be as good as Japanese animation.

[21:21] Let's watch Ranma 1.5 again, son.

[21:26] So, the old Harley Quinn was a beloved, lovable character.

[21:32] Look, she was, one, looked like a Harlequin, so the name made sense.

[21:37] And she was just like, Joker's crazy henchman, but there was a, weirdly, there was more depth

[21:42] to that character and the way that she would occasionally feel bad about what they were doing,

[21:47] but she wanted the Joker's attention.

[21:49] Like, she was a conflicted character in a way that this Harley Quinn is not, except for

[21:53] one moment.

[21:54] Dan, do you want to describe that moment?

Dan McCoy

[21:56] There's a pretty good, I think there's a nice little moment where she thinks that Joker

[22:01] has died and she's sitting on a car in the rain crying.

[22:05] And then the rest of the Suicide Squad comes up and she immediately puts on her sexy, crazy

[22:12] act that she does.

Elliott Kalan

[22:13] Like, I don't care about anything.

[22:15] Hey, fellas.

[22:15] Yeah, it's like a little moment that actually works.

Dan McCoy

[22:18] It's a nice character thing.

[22:20] So, all you have to do is sit through the first hour and 35, 40 minutes of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[22:24] I'm allowed.

[22:26] A bad movie can have a good fit.

[22:28] Look, here's, look, you gotta pan through a lot of dirt to find one speck of gold dust.

[22:32] And Dan did it.

[22:34] Yeah.

[22:34] He's a grizzled old prospector.

[22:36] And maybe he went insane from those months he spent on the mountain.

[22:39] I said, gold!

[22:40] There's gold!

[22:41] When he walks into town with that tiny sack of gold dust that can buy him, I guess, one

[22:46] ride on a pony at the local county fair.

Stuart Wellington

[22:50] That's why I'm doing it.

[22:52] Yeah.

[22:53] Yep.

[22:54] Buttercup's gonna be yours for a mere 10 minutes, Dan.

[22:58] 10 minutes is a long time for a pony ride.

[23:00] Dude, I don't ride that many ponies.

[23:02] Chill out.

Dan McCoy

[23:04] I don't ride that many ponies.

[23:07] So you ride some ponies.

Stuart Wellington

[23:08] Like five or six, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[23:10] I've lived a long life.

[23:11] We only scratched the surface of Suicide Squad, partly because we've got a time limit.

[23:15] If we were doing this in Dan's apartment, just three of us, we could easily talk for four

[23:18] hours about this movie.

[23:19] Because there's so much stuff in it.

[23:21] But it's like, usually that's like, hey, we can only tell you a little bit about this

[23:25] movie.

[23:25] Go check it out.

[23:26] Don't bother to do that.

[23:27] It's like, the same way that there are times every now and then when I'm like, I've never

[23:31] read, like, the Bhagavad Gita.

[23:34] Like, then I'm probably never gonna do that.

[23:37] Like, and I'm just gonna know there's a lot of interesting stuff in there I'll never know.

Dan McCoy

[23:40] I mean, if you want to see a movie where a bunch of people fight a bunch of faceless

[23:45] blobs that are, you know, kind of easy to disintegrate.

[23:49] And then at the end, they destroy a cosmic power by just putting a really big bomb under

[23:55] it.

[23:56] And shooting the bomb.

[23:56] This is the movie for you then.

Elliott Kalan

[23:58] It's a movie where they bring in this squad of super bad tough guys who are either given

[24:03] extensive backstories or literally thrown at the screen at the last minute.

[24:06] Like, uh, like when you order something in a restaurant and they leave out one component

[24:10] and you're like, what about this?

[24:11] Like, oh, it's just coming out of the kitchen right now.

[24:13] Okay, here you go.

[24:14] Like, it's like that.

[24:16] But they bring these guys with special abilities with them.

[24:19] And at one point, they need to dive into a flooded subway station to plant a bomb.

[24:23] And Killer Croc is like, give me the bomb.

[24:25] And the Marines or whoever they are are like, no, we'll take care of it.

Dan McCoy

[24:28] Why'd you bring a crocodile man?

Elliott Kalan

[24:31] This is the perfect time for him to pull his stuff.

[24:34] He took off his hooded sweatshirt for it and everything.

[24:37] No, this job isn't for you.

[24:38] This is probably not.

[24:39] We brought you here for one reason.

[24:41] You're our ethics counselor.

[24:43] And you're supposed to watch what we do and then report on it back to us so we can make

[24:48] sure we're following standard protocol.

[24:52] It's like Killer Croc is going on a ride along for his crime novel that he's working on.

[24:58] For his Gator Man series of mysteries.

Stuart Wellington

[25:02] You're like, Killer Croc, is Gator Man a representation of somebody?

Elliott Kalan

[25:07] Hey, Gator Man's just a character who spoke to me.

[25:10] And the character of retired detective Lou Gator Man is just a fictional character.

[25:17] He's Jewish.

[25:17] Yes, I mean, it's part of, I don't explicitly talk about his Judaism, but it's something

[25:24] that makes the character a little richer.

[25:27] You know, he's dealt with prejudice on the force working in Mobile, Alabama.

Dan McCoy

[25:34] Oh, geez.

Elliott Kalan

[25:36] So, but it is a nonsensical movie.

[25:38] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[25:38] So many of the action scenes and scenes in general are edited so clearly poorly.

[25:43] Maybe it's improved by the extended version.

[25:46] I'm guessing not.

[25:47] I mean, there's like when Katana gets introduced.

[25:50] She literally walks onto a helicopter they're already on.

[25:53] And Joel Kinnaman's character is like describing how her sword can cut everybody and it steals

[25:57] your soul or something.

[25:58] But while his character is delivering this monologue, you can see him in the background and his mouth

[26:03] isn't moving at all.

Dan McCoy

[26:06] By the way, I want to know how they know that that sword steals people's souls.

[26:11] Like, do they have like a soul detector that they put up to the sword and they're like,

[26:14] oh yeah, it's in there.

[26:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[26:15] They read about it in the zoo book.

[26:17] Well, because whenever she tries to swing the sword at somebody, a window pops up that

[26:24] said, sorry, no more space for souls on this sword.

[26:27] And she's like, hold on.

[26:28] We got to wait with the fight.

[26:29] And she's scrolling through looking for old souls she can delete.

[26:32] Yeah.

[26:32] Oh, and then I got to go to the recently deleted souls album to really make free up the space

[26:37] on the phone.

Dan McCoy

[26:38] It's a sword, but I called it a phone by accident.

Elliott Kalan

[26:41] I couldn't even sustain that bit.

Dan McCoy

[26:45] We could talk for a long time, but we only have limited time here.

[26:48] So we should wrap this part up with our final judgments.

[26:53] Suicide Squad edition.

Elliott Kalan

[26:55] And if this was Suicide Squad, you would say final judgments and then like some song with

[26:59] the word judgment would start playing.

[27:02] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:04] So the categories are, is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie that you kind

[27:09] of liked?

[27:10] Elliot, what do you have to say?

Elliott Kalan

[27:12] It's hard to say because I didn't like it and I didn't really enjoy watching it, but there

[27:19] was so much movie in there.

[27:21] Maybe it was just too much movie for me.

[27:25] Like maybe the problem was with me, not with the movie.

[27:28] Like maybe I just can't handle that.

[27:29] So I'm going to say bad, unless I'm wrong.

[27:35] And I'm sure the fine people on the internet will let me know if I'm wrong about their favorite

[27:39] movies.

[27:39] It's amazing how movies like this, before they-

Stuart Wellington

[27:41] People don't have strong opinions about comic book movies.

Elliott Kalan

[27:44] Before these movies come out, anytime they get a bad review before release, people are

[27:48] like, you must hate comics, da, da, da, you don't even get it.

[27:51] And then as soon as this movie comes out, those feelings evaporate into thin air.

[27:55] And there's never a sorry.

[27:57] There's never an apology.

Dan McCoy

[27:58] No.

[28:03] Yeah.

[28:03] What do I have to say about this?

[28:06] It's not a good-

[28:06] We've had your opportunity.

[28:07] We've been talking for a while.

[28:09] It's not a good movie.

[28:10] The one thing I will say is that Will Smith and Margot Robbie are working their asses off

[28:16] to sell the material.

[28:17] I'm a bad choice of words for Margot Robbie's character.

[28:20] No, I- I- yes, I was aware.

[28:23] But I think that, like, I think both of them, like, show a lot of charm and, like, I would

[28:28] be happy to see her as Harley Quinn in a good movie.

[28:32] Like, I think she could do that.

Elliott Kalan

[28:34] I'd be happy to see her in a good movie, raves Dan McCoy.

[28:39] No, but you're right.

[28:40] No, you're right.

[28:41] It can't- the movie is not so bad that it can't crush their charisma.

Dan McCoy

[28:44] Yeah, they've- those two are, like, actual, like, movie stars.

[28:47] The rest of it, eh, you don't need to see it.

[28:50] Oh, Dan!

Elliott Kalan

[28:53] A cheer for Dan's indifference.

Stuart Wellington

[28:59] Let me tell you guys a story.

[29:02] I was talking to somebody last night who, uh, described Suicide Squad as a movie that made

[29:08] them question what was possible in movies.

[29:12] I mean, they throw a bunch of- I don't disagree with that.

Elliott Kalan

[29:13] They throw a bunch of text up on the screen at different points.

Stuart Wellington

[29:16] Well, but that- and also, there are- it is really strange how it does feel like there's

[29:20] whole separate movies that have been condensed down.

[29:23] Like, the first half of the movie feels like you're watching the, like, what happened last

[29:26] season on Suicide Squad.

[29:28] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:28] It feels like a movie put together from a season of a TV show.

[29:31] There's a- I think it's in the book Slaughter-matic.

[29:35] There's a bit about a book that has so many hyperlinks in it.

[29:38] And each hyperlink takes you to the full text of another book.

[29:42] So you never, ever finish any of the books.

[29:44] Because you're always hyperlink- that's kind of what this movie was designed for, is that

[29:48] technology where you could be like, wait a minute, I want to watch that Harley Quinn

[29:51] movie.

[29:51] Click, and you'd watch that movie.

[29:53] Or like, uh, I like that Deadshot scene.

[29:55] Let's watch that Deadshot movie.

[29:56] Except that technology does not exist yet.

[29:58] Except, I guess, in the form of that movie Mr. Payback.

Stuart Wellington

[30:03] So, uh, yeah, I didn't- I didn't like it.

[30:05] It's a bad, bad movie.

[30:06] Uh, I would like- I mean, I feel like there's some stuff I- I like.

[30:11] I liked Captain Boomerang.

Elliott Kalan

[30:15] Even- here's the thing with Captain Boomerang.

[30:17] One, sure.

[30:18] I guess so.

[30:19] But, uh, but he's like- no, there's-

[30:21] Is that a thing?

[30:23] So he- he like- so they're all having drinks, and they're like, no, let's do this.

[30:27] Let's finish this mission.

[30:28] And he just leaves.

Stuart Wellington

[30:29] Yeah, he's like, I deactivate the bombs.

Elliott Kalan

[30:31] And he just immediately just leaves.

[30:33] There's no-

[30:33] Setting you up, you know he's gonna come back at some climactic moment and save someone

[30:38] with a boomerang.

[30:39] He doesn't.

[30:40] You know what he does?

[30:40] The next shot, they're walking down the main street to where they're going-

Dan McCoy

[30:43] Wait, they're walking someplace slowly with music?

[30:45] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[30:46] This movie also could have been called Walking Slowly in Ranks with a pop song playing behind

[30:51] you squad.

[30:52] But he just steps into frame and nods to them, and they nod back, and it was like, why bother

[30:56] having him leave?

[30:58] Maybe he's gonna come back ten seconds later.

[31:01] So that you could do, what, the Rogue One movie where it's like, what was Captain Boomerang

[31:05] up to in those minutes that we didn't see?

[31:07] I guess we'll find out in our spin-off, not prequel, it takes place during the other

[31:11] movie.

Dan McCoy

[31:14] And that movie is just him in the bathroom idly thumbing through a magazine.

[31:19] I mean, if it was really like-

[31:20] Yeah, Boomerang catalog.

Elliott Kalan

[31:21] If he walked up and he's like, got it, want it, got it, got it, want it.

[31:29] If he walked up and he's like, why'd you guys leave?

[31:32] I just went to the bathroom.

[31:34] There's also, there's a part where he's using a remote, he's using a Boomerang with a GoPro

[31:38] on it, and he's watching the video on his phone, and the camera breaks, because of evil

[31:43] magic, I guess, and he goes, ah, and he throws the phone down.

[31:47] And Stuart had the great idea.

Stuart Wellington

[31:48] It would have been so much better if he threw the phone away, and then a moment later it

[31:52] came back to his hand.

Elliott Kalan

[31:58] They call him Captain Boomerang.

[32:00] They call him that, because everything in his hands becomes a Boomerang.

[32:03] And he's just like throwing celery sticks, and they come back to him.

[32:06] It's a blessing and a curse, clearly.

[32:09] Because he can never throw garbage away.

[32:11] You know how you feel when you're throwing away styrofoam packing peanuts, and they won't

[32:15] leave your hands because of static clang?

[32:17] That's Boomerang's life.

Stuart Wellington

[32:20] Not so great.

Elliott Kalan

[32:21] Done with this soda.

[32:22] Oh, man.

[32:23] Comes back to him.

[32:25] So, Dan, what do we do now?

Stuart Wellington

[32:25] It seems like the dumbest power to wish for.

Elliott Kalan

[32:29] You're like, oh, I don't know.

[32:30] Did he wish for it in a King Midas type scenario?

[32:33] Yeah.

[32:34] What happened was he threw a half-finished package of Twizzlers away, and he's like,

[32:41] actually, I would have finished that.

[32:42] I wish it would just come back to my hand.

Stuart Wellington

[32:44] And Zool is right there, and he's like, or Gozer is there, and he's like, oh, shit.

Elliott Kalan

[32:49] So, Dan, okay, that's that.

[32:52] Dan, stop us before we tangent again.

S4

[32:54] Hey, guys, this is Adam Conover.

[33:00] You may know me from my true TV show, Adam Ruins Everything.

[33:03] Well, guess what?

[33:04] Now we're doing a podcast version right here on Maximum Fun.

[33:07] What we do is we take all the interesting, fascinating experts that we talk to for just a couple minutes on the show,

[33:12] and we sit with them for an entire podcast, really going deep and getting into the fascinating details of their work.

[33:18] Find Adam Ruins Everything wherever you get your podcasts or at MaximumFun.org.

[33:22] Hi, everybody.

S6

[33:27] I'm Justin McElroy.

[33:28] And I'm Travis McElroy.

[33:29] And I'm Griffin McElroy.

[33:30] And this is our serious promo.

S4

[33:32] No horsing around, you two.

[33:34] If you like just three gentlemen being adults about topics and giving advice for them, to them,

S6

[33:40] My Brother, My Brother, Me is a podcast for you serious-minded adults.

[33:44] No monkey shines, no falderall.

Stuart Wellington

[33:46] Hey, let me ask you a question.

[33:47] How sophisticated is your palate?

[33:49] You like Merlot?

[33:51] Our show is basically like the Merlot and dark chocolate of podcasts.

[33:54] You got to be grown up to like them.

S4

[33:56] Our podcast is Toilet Wine.

[34:00] Listen to the Toilet Wine of podcasts every Monday right here at MaximumFun.org.

Dan McCoy

[34:11] Next, we've got some messages from people who help fund the Flophouse.

[34:19] Oh, I like those.

[34:20] Oh, thanks.

[34:20] The first one comes from Blue Apron, which is a service that provides food to you.

[34:28] Really selling it.

[34:29] For less than $10 per person per meal, Blue Apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients

[34:36] to make delicious home-cooked meals.

[34:40] Coming up on the Blue Apron recipe lineup, you got your seared chicken and creamy pasta salad

[34:48] with summer squash and sweet peppers.

[34:50] That sounds delicious.

[34:52] You got creamy shrimp rolls with quick pickles and sweet potato wedges.

[34:57] I don't know what a quick pickle is, but I want it.

[34:59] It can't be quick enough for me.

[35:00] Get over here.

[35:01] It's not like those slow pickles.

[35:02] You got to sit there and you got to wait for them.

[35:05] They're also known as pickles.

[35:06] Yeah.

[35:07] You got fresh basil fettuccine pasta with sweet corn and cubanelle pepper.

[35:12] Stuart's sound says it all.

[35:14] And lastly, coming up, you got your chili butter steaks with Parmesan potatoes and spinach.

Elliott Kalan

[35:21] And here's the difference about Blue Apron.

[35:24] One, you don't got to go nowhere.

[35:25] The food comes to you.

[35:27] You ain't got to go nowhere.

[35:29] Are you a shut-in?

[35:30] Are you a homebody?

[35:31] Are you an old person?

[35:32] Have you just had a baby?

[35:34] Nobody has time to go grocery shopping.

[35:36] Nobody does.

[35:37] In this fast-paced world, nobody has time to go grocery shopping.

[35:40] It's why retail is going down the toilet these days.

Dan McCoy

[35:43] Cornels are killing retail.

Elliott Kalan

[35:44] Yeah, with their avocado toast and whatever.

[35:46] And they're not getting jobs and playing Vigi games instead.

[35:49] Now, the food comes to you.

[35:50] You don't even have to put your pants on.

[35:52] You can just wait until the mailman leaves.

[35:54] I like that.

[35:54] And go outside and get it yourself.

[35:56] Pantsless.

[35:57] Number two, you got to cook it.

[35:59] Yeah.

[35:59] But you know what?

[36:00] You don't got to go.

[36:01] You don't got to measure the ingredients.

[36:02] No.

[36:03] Everyone's least favorite part of cooking, measuring those damn ingredients.

[36:06] You don't have to get out all your little spoons that are the different sizes.

[36:09] You don't have to get out a measuring cup.

[36:10] You can use a regular cup, pour some beer in it, drink that.

[36:13] Because you know what?

[36:14] You can be a little tipsy because you don't have to measure anything.

[36:17] That's great.

[36:17] Just take the little containers they give you, dump them in.

[36:20] Beautiful.

[36:21] Okay.

[36:21] Third thing, it tastes delicious.

[36:23] It's all seasonal.

[36:24] You know what that means?

[36:25] They're not going to be giving you winter food in the summer.

[36:27] They're not going to be giving you spring food in the fall.

[36:29] They're going to give you food from that season, the way nature meant you to eat it.

[36:32] And number four, look at how cheap it is.

[36:35] Less than $10 per person per meal.

[36:37] No one can eat that cheap unless you're dumpster diving.

[36:40] Dan, do you want to dive in a dumpster or do you want delicious food pre-sorted out in terms of recipe size delivered to your door?

[36:48] Just two options.

Dan McCoy

[36:49] Where is this dumpster located?

Elliott Kalan

[36:51] Not in your house.

[36:52] You got to leave your house.

[36:53] Put some pants on.

Dan McCoy

[36:54] All right.

[36:54] If there's pants involved, I want Blue Apron instead.

Elliott Kalan

[36:58] That's right.

[36:58] Just imagine Dan wearing nothing but a Blue Apron, no pants, and go to, what is it, BlueApron.com?

[37:05] BlueApron.com slash Flophouse.

[37:08] BlueApron.com slash Flophouse.

Dan McCoy

[37:10] Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to BlueApron.com slash Flophouse.

[37:16] That's BlueApron.com slash Flophouse.

Elliott Kalan

[37:19] Your mouth will thank you and your butt will thank you because it doesn't have to have pants on.

[37:23] Elliot, I believe you've got a Jumbotron.

[37:25] I do have a Jumbotron.

[37:27] There's a Jumbotron message today.

[37:29] This message is for Will.

[37:31] Hey.

[37:32] And the message is from Meredith.

[37:34] Hey.

[37:34] So Will, open up those ear holes because Meredith's going to shoot some words into them.

[37:39] Gross.

[37:42] I get it.

[37:42] What if it was a gun that's shooting the words?

[37:44] Okay.

[37:45] Dear Will, happy 30th birthday.

[37:47] I've had so much fun with you these past two years, going for long bike rides, eating eggs, and listening to the Flophouse together.

[37:54] Congratulations on becoming an old man.

[37:55] You are my favorite boyfriend, and I love you.

[37:58] Meredith.

[37:58] P.S.

[37:59] If Elliot would, if Elliot would, oh I see there's an if there's going to be there.

[38:03] Elliot, would you sing a song about how cool Will is?

[38:05] It would make his year.

[38:07] I gotta do it, you guys.

[38:08] You know I gotta do it.

[38:09] I'm legally obligated.

[38:10] I'm legally and morally and divinely religiously obligated.

[38:14] Will the Eggmaster requires it.

[38:16] Is there a cooler guy than Will?

[38:20] If there has, then I haven't met him still.

[38:23] He can cook some eggs.

[38:24] He can ride a bike.

[38:26] There's a lot of things that he likes that I like, like the Flophouse.

[38:30] And so for 10 years of the Flophouse, it's 30 years of Will.

[38:35] There's been three times as much Will as Flophouse.

[38:38] Flophouse is only one third as much as Will.

[38:41] So Will, you're three times as cool as the coolest thing in the school, which is the Flophouse.

[38:48] Boy, is that Will guy cool.

[38:49] He eats eggs.

[38:52] Thanks.

[38:53] And his girlfriend sounds cool, too.

[38:55] Yeah, he eats eggs.

[38:58] That's great.

[39:00] You know what?

[39:00] Frasier may not know what to do with that tossed salad and scrambled eggs, but Will knows what to do.

[39:04] Eat it.

[39:05] Yeah.

[39:06] Unless is that a sex thing that Frasier's singing about?

Dan McCoy

[39:10] That's a good question.

Elliott Kalan

[39:11] Is that the tossed salad he's singing about?

[39:12] I don't know what scrambled eggs means.

[39:14] No.

[39:15] You don't want to know.

[39:16] Okay, don't tell me.

Dan McCoy

[39:20] So, we've also got a few announcements, right?

Elliott Kalan

[39:24] Well, we've got one thing to announce that I can think of.

[39:27] Yeah.

[39:28] Well, we've got two things.

[39:29] First off, the Flophouse is doing an international live show in Toronto, Canada, but it's already sold out, I hear.

[39:36] So, I guess keep checking that site.

[39:40] If you live in Canada, see if there's returns and maybe a seat open up.

[39:44] Go ahead and StubHub.

[39:45] Yeah, which is, I think, just called...

[39:47] StubHub A.

[39:48] It's just called hockeytickets.com.

[39:51] StubHub A.

Stuart Wellington

[39:52] And we also just want to remind everybody, if you haven't, you can go check out the Flophouse Funnies, a series of comics that we do.

[40:05] They're digital comics that you can download off of our website, theflophousepodcast.com.

[40:11] And between us and a variety of incredibly talented people.

Elliott Kalan

[40:17] A bewildering and astonishing array of talent has been helping us.

Stuart Wellington

[40:21] We've been bringing out some stuff.

[40:22] And all the money from those go to the ACLU.

Elliott Kalan

[40:27] Yeah, after expenses are paid, everything goes to the ACLU.

[40:30] So far, we've donated over $4,000.

[40:34] That's crazy.

[40:35] From these comic sales.

[40:36] But we want to keep donating more.

[40:38] In these times, and I believe I speak for most of our listening audience, in these times, the American Civil Liberties Union's work is more needed than ever.

[40:47] And so we want to support them.

[40:48] If you want to support them and get some crazy comic stories by your favorite pals, the Flophouse, then please do that.

[40:55] Go to, what's the website, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[40:57] It's www.flophousepodcast.com.

Stuart Wellington

[41:00] And so we put out three comics, and we actually have three more.

[41:04] In the works.

[41:05] Kind of in the works, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[41:06] The three we did have before were on the theme of horror, three different types of horror stories.

[41:10] And should we reveal the theme for these next three?

[41:12] Sure, yeah, do it.

[41:13] The theme is love.

[41:16] Yeah.

[41:16] The opposite of horror.

[41:17] Maybe the least horrible thing, unless you're afraid of commitment, that it's the scariest thing.

[41:22] We're going to do three very different takes on the concept of love in comic book form.

[41:27] So get ready for that.

[41:28] They'll be coming out one at a time, and you'll have your chance to donate through those.

[41:32] But the horror issues are still available.

[41:34] And if people like these and keep helping us make money for a good cause, then we'll probably keep doing them.

[41:41] Yeah.

[41:43] And we should mention also that we can't announce them yet, but we are going to have some other upcoming live show dates to announce in parts of the country that we've never performed in before.

[41:53] Oh, weird.

Dan McCoy

[41:54] I think we can say where.

[41:56] We just can't.

[41:56] We don't have the full go-ahead to say when, I don't think.

[42:01] Let's just say.

[42:02] Let's just say it's the West Coast.

Elliott Kalan

[42:04] Let's say.

[42:04] Yeah, let's narrow it down to the not the coast we're used to going to.

Dan McCoy

[42:07] Yeah.

[42:08] So keep your ears open for West Coast flop house dates.

Stuart Wellington

[42:14] If you want to go to In-N-Out Burger, they have them there.

Dan McCoy

[42:20] Yeah.

[42:20] Let's just say, also, if you want to get something in a bread bowl, they have them there as well.

[42:27] I mean, you can.

[42:28] You can get that pretty much anywhere.

[42:30] Bread bowl?

[42:31] What the fuck?

[42:32] It's a regional thing that's famous.

[42:34] It's a regional thing?

Elliott Kalan

[42:35] No, but it's like famous for a city.

[42:37] Really?

[42:37] Because I've thought of a treat from that city that it's not bread bowls.

[42:41] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[42:41] Can you get a roni style?

Elliott Kalan

[42:44] You certainly can.

[42:46] Roni it up.

[42:48] Yeah, that's that Bobby Brown song.

[42:51] That's my girl song, Roni it up.

[42:52] So those are some hints about two cities.

[42:55] They'll never guess.

[42:56] You're right.

[42:56] You got me.

[42:57] It's Albuquerque in Des Moines.

[42:59] So I think those were all our announcements.

Dan McCoy

[43:06] Yeah.

[43:07] Before our time runs out, we have a next part of the show, which is taking a few questions.

[43:13] Oh, I just rammed the microphone into my face.

[43:17] Taking a few questions.

[43:18] We have about 20 minutes for that, I think.

[43:20] Roughly.

[43:20] Maybe a little less.

[43:22] There's a microphone over here.

Elliott Kalan

[43:24] If anyone would like to ask us a question about anything in the world, it's over there.

[43:28] But first, my preamble.

[43:29] Anyone who's been to see us before will be familiar with this one.

[43:32] But I'll tell you anyway.

[43:34] Here's a little thing I like to do when I'm at a Q&A.

[43:37] It saved me a lot of trouble.

[43:38] It'll save all of us a lot of trouble.

[43:40] If you're getting ready to ask a question, people have lined up.

[43:43] First, think about that question.

[43:45] And then think to yourself, if I was not me, and I heard somebody else ask this question,

[43:50] would I care?

[43:52] Often, the answer is no.

[43:57] Take the opportunity to think of another question or sit down.

[44:01] I've been at too many Q&As where it's like, first, I'm going to tell you for 10 minutes

[44:04] why your work uniquely appeals to me, and we should be friends.

[44:09] Woody Allen.

[44:10] All right.

[44:13] It's someone who's never going to be friends with you is what I'm saying.

[44:16] Yeah.

[44:17] Just.

[44:19] How many?

[44:20] Not us.

[44:21] I'm talking about Woody Allen.

[44:22] How many of you want to hang out with Woody Allen?

[44:25] You're wasting our time.

Dan McCoy

[44:26] You're wasting the audience's time.

[44:28] Okay.

[44:28] Sorry.

[44:28] That's the show, basically.

[44:31] Yeah.

[44:32] So, keep it pithy.

[44:34] What, what, uh, yeah.

[44:35] What, what do you have to say?

[44:38] So, real quick, Elliot, as per your tweet back to me.

Stuart Wellington

[44:40] First off, what's your name, last name withheld?

S5

[44:42] Peter, last name withheld.

[44:43] Hi, Peter.

[44:44] Thanks for coming.

[44:44] Thank you.

[44:45] Uh, per your tweet back, I don't want to hesitate asking for your autograph since you're going

[44:50] to be out of here, you said.

Elliott Kalan

[44:51] Oh, probably.

[44:52] Well, I'll stick around for a couple minutes after.

[44:53] Okay.

S5

[44:53] So, don't worry.

[44:54] Thank you.

[44:54] So, my question is, and yours too, Dan.

[44:56] I already have stewards.

[44:58] Oh.

[44:58] Okay.

[44:59] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[45:00] Well.

[45:01] So, now we know.

[45:01] He already has mine, dudes.

[45:03] Now, now we know the order of favorites.

[45:05] Stew on top, of course.

[45:06] Me, comfortable in the middle.

[45:07] And then, you know, whoever.

[45:09] So.

S5

[45:12] Uh, after over 200 episodes.

[45:16] Uh, which one are your, like, which ones did you have the most fun recording?

[45:22] Like, individually.

[45:23] Like, Elliot, I'm sure you have a different one from Dan and et cetera.

Elliott Kalan

[45:26] Uh, which most fun recording?

[45:29] Yeah.

[45:29] The live shows are the most fun recording.

[45:32] Brooklyn.

[45:33] Brooklyn.

[45:34] Hey, Ender.

[45:37] I mean, the movies that break us the most, like Oogie Loves or something like that.

Stuart Wellington

[45:41] I'm going to jump in here, guys.

[45:43] Okay, take it.

[45:44] Take it.

[45:44] I think the most fun I had watching a movie and then, uh, and talking about it with these

[45:48] guys was, uh, Easy Rider 2, The Ride Back.

[45:51] Oh, yeah.

[45:52] Oh.

[45:53] That was a good one.

[45:54] Like, that last, like, third of the movie just broke me.

[45:58] When that old man's little bottom lip quivers.

[46:01] Like, I could, I laughed the whole way until the mics came out.

Elliott Kalan

[46:05] When there's just a shot of him getting a haircut from his daughter-in-law for no reason.

[46:08] Uh, I don't have a good answer.

Dan McCoy

[46:19] So, in the interest of moving things along, if you have one.

Elliott Kalan

[46:22] Yeah, one of the ones, crazy ones.

[46:23] One of the ones that break us.

[46:24] All right.

[46:24] When we're doing Oogie Loves or Food Fightin', we're crawling back over the ash heap of our

[46:28] lives together.

[46:29] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[46:30] Or something that's got catchy songs, like Bratz.

Elliott Kalan

[46:32] Yeah.

[46:32] Moving right along.

[46:33] Thanks, Peter.

[46:33] All right.

[46:34] Next question.

[46:34] Hurry it up.

[46:35] Let's go, people.

[46:35] Come on.

[46:35] All right.

[46:36] You don't have all day.

[46:36] Let's do this.

[46:37] Okay.

[46:37] Hurry it up.

[46:38] File through.

[46:39] Okay.

S6

[46:39] Uh, hey.

[46:40] Uh, my name's Antu.

[46:42] I've come from the land of Captain Boomerang to ask this question.

[46:45] Whoa.

[46:46] Thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[46:47] So, is he, like, famous there?

[46:49] He's everyone's favorite superhero?

Stuart Wellington

[46:50] He's on the currency, Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[46:52] The rubber currency that never gets wet.

[46:55] It must be so galling to be, like, finally, an Australian superhero.

[46:58] Oh, he's a boomerang.

[46:59] I get it.

[47:00] Because every American superhero throws hot dogs at people.

Dan McCoy

[47:04] Oh, his superpowers, he throws shrimps at people.

[47:07] And only onto Barbies.

[47:08] Oh, okay.

S6

[47:10] Uh, so, my question is, it involves the Stuart Gordon film Re-Animator, and, um.

[47:17] Seen it.

[47:19] So, me and a friend think that the premise of that movie would make a great three-camera sitcom.

[47:27] You guys are right.

[47:29] Yep.

[47:30] As the straight man with the, uh, the lead character who's in med school and his pesky roommate who ruins everything by trying to bring back the dead.

[47:39] Uh, what would, what movie would you pick to turn into a three-camera sitcom?

Elliott Kalan

[47:44] Oh, that's a good question.

[47:47] That's a good question.

Dan McCoy

[47:48] Yes.

[47:49] That deserves super applause.

[47:51] Super applause.

[47:51] This is how you know Elliot is vamping.

[47:53] He repeats, that's a good question twice.

[47:56] That is a good, well, it's a good question because it's a stumper.

[47:58] Uh, yeah.

[48:00] What is a good sitcom movie?

Elliott Kalan

[48:02] I think, uh, well, I mean, did they ever try to make Big into a show?

[48:08] If he doesn't turn back and he's just a man, he's just a child stuck in a man's body, that's a sitcom right there.

[48:15] And they call it Big, the show.

Stuart Wellington

[48:18] He's a little boy in a man's body sleeping with normal-aged women.

Elliott Kalan

[48:22] Okay, you know what?

[48:23] You're right.

[48:24] I forgot about that part.

[48:27] Don't, don't, not Big.

[48:28] Okay.

[48:30] Oof.

[48:31] Ooh.

[48:33] I forgot about that part.

[48:34] I just remembered him working at the toy company.

[48:36] Ah!

Dan McCoy

[48:38] Uh, I'm just like, in my head, I'm just like running through, like, movie time.

[48:43] Uh, The Fugitive.

[48:44] Uh, Blue Velvet.

[48:45] Uh, Dirty the Dinosaur.

[48:46] Um.

[48:47] Trouble with the Curve.

[48:48] Uh, that thing you do.

[48:49] Trouble with the Curve.

[48:51] The League of Their Own.

[48:52] The most.

[48:53] I mean, A League of Their Own would make it great.

[48:55] A League of Their Own might be a good one.

[48:56] That'd be good.

Elliott Kalan

[48:56] I don't know about three camera sitcoms, but that'd be a good series.

[48:58] Like, about a woman's baseball team.

[49:00] I mean, League of Their Own did that great, so I don't know what there is more to do with it.

[49:04] See them play other games?

[49:05] Like, I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[49:08] It just shows those same people, but not playing baseball, like, afterwards.

[49:13] It's just like, okay, well, now we're back to our normal lives.

[49:15] Like, why are we following these characters anymore?

[49:17] I don't understand.

Elliott Kalan

[49:18] So it's like After Mesh.

[49:18] The hit show After Mesh.

[49:21] So then I'm gonna say Suicide Squad.

[49:25] That was a great question.

[49:27] I think we should, I think we're not gonna come up with any better answers, so thank you very much.

[49:30] All right, thank you.

[49:31] Thanks so much for coming all this way.

[49:34] Awesome.

S7

[49:38] Hello.

[49:39] Hey.

[49:39] It's me, Liz, last name withheld.

[49:42] Hello.

[49:42] I'm here again.

[49:45] Back again.

[49:46] I haunt this podcast like a poltergeist.

[49:48] A poltergeist.

[49:49] I do.

Dan McCoy

[49:51] It's not even a pun.

[49:52] Doesn't work?

Elliott Kalan

[49:54] Yeah.

[49:54] Sorry, we made you the pun police.

Dan McCoy

[49:57] I believe this bad.

[49:59] Oh, the FBI.

[50:00] What if I had a...

[50:02] You were called like a vampire.

[50:04] What if I had a badge, Elliot?

[50:06] Wouldn't that have been great if I actually had a prop badge?

Elliott Kalan

[50:08] And you've just been waiting for years for a chance to use it.

[50:12] Every morning you just, you're like putting, getting dressed, walking out to work.

[50:16] Oh, shit.

[50:17] I forgot my prop badge.

[50:18] I gotta walk back from the subway station.

[50:20] Just in case.

Dan McCoy

[50:21] I say sadly to myself, maybe today.

[50:24] Maybe today.

[50:26] I gotta make it.

S7

[50:27] I gotta make this $1.29 that I spent on this worth it.

[50:31] Your question was?

[50:32] I do have a question.

[50:33] Okay.

[50:34] Now.

Elliott Kalan

[50:35] Sorry to waste your time.

[50:37] Sorry.

[50:41] Oh, okay.

[50:41] I don't know why I turned into Morton Downey all of a sudden.

S7

[50:43] If you had to assemble your own team of motley supervillains to do whatever it was they were trying to do in Suicide Squad.

[50:53] I wasn't sure because I was real drunk when I saw that movie.

[50:57] And you could only choose from villains who had appeared in movies that were featured in the Flophouse.

Elliott Kalan

[51:02] Oh.

[51:03] We also had the same.

[51:03] Oh, somebody, literally someone behind her in line collapsed.

[51:08] Yes.

[51:08] In horror and fear that that had been their question, I think.

S7

[51:11] I knew it was a good idea to run up here because somebody else was going to have the same dumb question.

Elliott Kalan

[51:16] Oh.

[51:17] Yeah.

[51:17] So.

[51:18] Wow.

[51:18] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[51:19] Assembling a Suicide Squad of villains from Flophouse movies.

[51:22] Well, Bobby Wobbly has to be in there.

Elliott Kalan

[51:24] Bobby Wobbly.

[51:25] I mean, technically he's not a villain.

[51:27] He's a villain, but he is a villain.

[51:28] You know you're putting in the popular girl from Bratz.

[51:32] You know it.

[51:32] Yeah.

[51:33] You know it.

[51:34] And her power is that she can buy anything.

[51:35] She's super rich.

[51:37] And she always goes into musical numbers.

[51:39] She bought an elephant.

[51:40] She bought an elephant for her party.

[51:42] And you know she just killed that elephant after that.

[51:46] And it's not like then she put on an elephant meat feast for the homeless.

[51:49] She just dumped it in her pool.

[51:51] What?

Stuart Wellington

[51:51] She killed it with emotional neglect?

[51:53] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[51:55] So yeah.

[51:56] Bobby Wobbly.

[51:57] The rich girl from Bratz.

[51:59] Seven pounds.

[52:00] The made up villain.

[52:01] The made up characters.

[52:02] Okay.

[52:02] Then I guess Five Head also.

Dan McCoy

[52:06] The corrector.

Elliott Kalan

[52:07] The corrector.

[52:08] Now it's just flop.

[52:09] Okay.

[52:09] We should do characters from movies.

[52:11] Not just stupid characters we made up on our dumb show.

[52:15] What other?

Dan McCoy

[52:16] It's hard to think of like villains from these movies.

Elliott Kalan

[52:18] Oh, the crazy Christopher Lloyd character from Food Fight.

[52:23] Who I guess is a wild eyed robot.

Stuart Wellington

[52:26] Sure.

[52:26] The snake man from Jonah Hex.

Elliott Kalan

[52:31] Stop shouting movies at me.

[52:35] If you wanted to end this question, you'd do a podcast for almost ten years.

[52:40] Goddamn.

[52:40] We earned this question.

[52:41] We've wasted our lives.

[52:44] We don't even remember the villains.

[52:48] Okay.

[52:49] Let's name one more.

[52:50] We've got a pretty good team here.

[52:51] Let's name one more.

Dan McCoy

[52:53] What's the movie we watched?

Elliott Kalan

[52:57] Lex Luthor doesn't count.

[52:59] What?

[52:59] Tango and Cash.

[53:00] Oh.

[53:01] Jack Palance from Tango and Cash.

[53:03] Jack Palance and the English guy that they blow up.

[53:07] Yeah.

[53:07] That guy's great.

[53:08] And Robert Zadar's in that.

[53:09] Yeah.

[53:10] And James Hunt.

[53:10] You know what?

[53:11] Let's just do all the villains from Tango and Cash.

[53:14] Guys, let's just watch Tango and Cash.

[53:15] Let's watch Tango and Cash.

[53:16] Let's just watch Tango and Cash.

[53:17] Thank you for the question.

[53:19] Of course.

[53:20] TNC.

[53:21] BME.

[53:22] Best movie ever.

S5

[53:23] Hey, guys.

[53:24] I am the guy who collapsed.

[53:25] My idea was that Bradley Cooper from Burnt finished shucking his two millionth oyster

Dan McCoy

[53:29] and was assembling a suicide squad.

[53:31] But I got a backup.

Elliott Kalan

[53:32] Oh.

[53:32] That's pretty good.

Dan McCoy

[53:33] My backup question is, obviously, there's a lot of speculation over what would be the plot

[53:38] of the flop house of the movie.

[53:40] And a very popular one is a body swap movie.

[53:43] So my question is, there's two ways that this could go.

[53:47] Okay.

[53:48] Which body, which way do you pick?

[53:50] And what is the heartwarming lesson that each of you learn from being in another person's

Elliott Kalan

[53:56] body?

[53:56] All right.

[53:56] Interesting.

[53:57] Okay.

[53:58] That's tough.

[53:59] But that's tough but fair.

[54:00] Tough but fair.

[54:01] Well, clearly, clearly, I want to be Stuart because he's the tallest.

[54:07] And you know what?

[54:08] I think I'm going to learn.

[54:09] It's not so easy being tall.

[54:12] You bump your head into stuff?

[54:13] You bump your head.

[54:14] Can you just walk under the turnstile at subway stations?

[54:17] Because I can.

Dan McCoy

[54:19] No, I have to pay for it.

[54:21] Okay.

[54:21] I wanted to be Stuart so I could learn that being beautiful isn't everything.

Stuart Wellington

[54:28] I want to be both you guys.

[54:31] Your soul splits between the two of us.

[54:34] My bottom half goes into Elliot.

Elliott Kalan

[54:40] Wait.

[54:40] So are we like sharing the space then?

[54:43] It's like an all of me type situation?

Stuart Wellington

[54:46] Yeah.

[54:46] You can ride on Dan's shoulders in my body.

Dan McCoy

[54:52] It's like the old reincarnation problem where it's just like there used to be so many fewer people that all those people must be split between several people at this point because there's so many people out there.

Elliott Kalan

[55:02] You can be reincarnated as an animal, Dan.

[55:04] So guys, we both want to be inside my body.

Dan McCoy

[55:07] What?

[55:08] Yeah, we both want to be inside you.

Stuart Wellington

[55:09] So what valuable lesson are you going to learn other than, yeah, what valuable lesson will you learn?

Dan McCoy

[55:15] I told you it's all about appearance, Stuart.

[55:17] Oh, right.

Elliott Kalan

[55:19] I'm great.

[55:19] And then I'll jump into Dan's body and just do all sorts of crazy stuff that he has to deal with the consequences of later.

Stuart Wellington

[55:28] You'll realize that it isn't a lot of fun to be interrupted all the time.

[55:32] No.

[55:33] And sometimes it's hard to read words on a page.

Elliott Kalan

[55:39] Sometimes.

[55:40] It is, guys.

[55:41] Sometimes it's harder to speak clearly when you literally have the words in front of your face.

[55:45] Do you realize how drunk I am?

[55:49] And clearly the lesson you would learn from me is that the truest treasure is fatherhood.

[55:54] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[55:56] I think we have enough time to quickly go through the three people that are in the line.

[56:00] Nobody else joined the line.

[56:01] That's it.

[56:02] Nobody is.

[56:03] Yeah.

[56:03] No one's running up there.

[56:05] Jeremy, last name withheld.

S7

[56:08] You mentioned in your critique of this how much pop music was in it.

[56:12] And I think Watchmen, another comic book movie, was known.

[56:16] There was a lot of discussion about its sort of jukebox feel for its music selection.

[56:22] And I can't think about the word jukebox without thinking about karaoke.

[56:26] I know you guys have a penchant for it.

[56:28] So what do you think is the movie with the most singable official soundtrack?

[56:33] Bratz.

Elliott Kalan

[56:36] No, that's not true.

[56:37] That's, uh, I've been doing a lot.

Dan McCoy

[56:39] It's got La Cucaracha in it, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[56:40] I mean, purely because my son's been into it a lot.

[56:44] I've been seeing a lot of the Muppet movie.

[56:46] A lot of the Muppet movie.

[56:47] And those words are surprisingly difficult.

[56:51] But when you get them, there's such a feeling of accomplishment.

[56:53] When you know the words to Can You Picture That?

[56:55] A song which makes no sense.

Dan McCoy

[56:58] I mean, I know that, like, Jeremy has been present at a karaoke night where I've sung not

[57:03] one, but multiple songs from Little Shop of Horrors.

[57:06] So I think that that's my choice.

Stuart Wellington

[57:09] Both of you guys listen to musicals, right?

[57:12] Does that count?

Dan McCoy

[57:12] Yeah, I mean, sure.

[57:13] Why not?

[57:14] If it's a movie.

[57:14] We're making the rules.

[57:16] We've got the microphones.

[57:17] You can't be like Hamilton.

[57:18] And I'm going to break those rules again.

Stuart Wellington

[57:19] Because I'm going to say, the movie that I listen to the soundtrack the most of, I'm going

[57:23] to change the question entirely.

[57:26] That's not what was asked.

[57:27] I'm going to say, probably The Crow.

[57:33] What?

[57:35] What are you doing?

[57:36] It's got an awesome, edgy soundtrack, dude.

[57:39] Pop it in.

[57:41] All right.

[57:42] You asked for it.

[57:43] You like Joy Division?

[57:45] There's a Nine Inch Nails cover of a Joy Division song.

Dan McCoy

[57:49] All right.

[57:50] So Stuart's a teen girl in the 90s.

[57:51] Let's go on.

[57:53] Sure.

S7

[57:55] All right.

[57:55] So my first statement is, I've been to about two or three of these, and this is by far the

[58:00] largest crowd you guys have had.

[58:02] Woo!

Dan McCoy

[58:02] Thank you.

[58:04] All right.

[58:04] The Bell House.

[58:05] All right.

[58:05] That's so that when the media tries to distort it, we got an eyewitness on the scene.

[58:13] Not to bring it back to the Suicide Squad too much, but if you guys had to give one Nicholas

[58:19] Cage villain to be part of this movie to lead this team, who would it be?

[58:24] Oh.

[58:25] Nicholas Cage villain.

[58:26] Oh.

[58:27] And Stuart, if you can give us a Flophouse house cat, a Flophouse house cat, a Rarau!

S5

[58:33] Woo!

Dan McCoy

[58:38] The people who have never heard the podcast are so baffled by why that got applause.

Elliott Kalan

[58:44] I remember when we first started getting fan letters for the house cat.

[58:48] It was just a sound.

[58:51] But okay.

Stuart Wellington

[58:52] Is he Elliot, or is he so much more than that?

Elliott Kalan

[58:55] I'd like to tell you a story.

[58:57] No.

[58:57] So, a Nicholas Cage villain.

[58:59] Now, villain from our movies?

Stuart Wellington

[59:00] So, a villain from a Nicholas Cage movie.

Elliott Kalan

[59:02] Because I've got to say, the villain from St-Olin, who has like a robot leg.

[59:06] Yeah, the cockroach man.

[59:07] Yeah.

[59:08] I mean, it's just that he lost a leg and he has a metal leg, but.

[59:12] Suicide Squad, I mean, their powers are that they can hit people with stuff, so.

Stuart Wellington

[59:14] I mean, Julianne Moore as a bedreadlocked dragon lady in.

[59:21] Oh, right, and witch killer?

[59:23] No.

Elliott Kalan

[59:24] Sword, sword, sky?

[59:26] Sorcerer's Seventh Son.

[59:27] No, it wasn't Seventh Son.

[59:28] He wasn't even in that movie.

[59:29] I was wrong.

[59:30] Oh, my God.

[59:32] It was like, what was that movie called?

[59:33] What have I been doing?

[59:34] Seventh Son.

[59:35] No, Seventh Son I thought was the one with Jeff Reddick.

[59:38] He's not even in that movie.

[59:40] What's the one?

Dan McCoy

[59:41] It's like Seventh Son, but it's not.

[59:42] People are yelling out, no one knows.

[59:45] People are yelling out 50 different movies.

[59:49] Clearly.

[59:50] Let's just.

[59:50] Only history will judge.

Elliott Kalan

[59:54] Let's just say it was called Gone with the Witch.

Dan McCoy

[59:56] Anyway.

[59:57] But that's a good choice.

[59:58] Dan?

[1:00:01] Was the bad lieutenant kind of the villain of his own movie?

[1:00:04] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:05] That's the point.

[1:00:07] That's why he's a bad lieutenant.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:08] I would love to see him hallucinating iguanas while leading a team of Suicide Squad.

[1:00:14] I mean, frankly, Nicolas Cage in Bad Lieutenant is the Joker performance Jared Leto should

[1:00:19] have had in this movie.

[1:00:20] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:20] Like, he's crazy.

[1:00:21] When the moment when he goes, they shoot that guy, and they go, and he goes, shoot him again,

[1:00:26] I can still see his soul dancing.

[1:00:27] Like, that's the thing a Joker would say.

Dan McCoy

[1:00:31] That's the thing a Joker would say.

[1:00:33] One of them Jokers.

[1:00:34] One of them midnight pokers.

[1:00:36] Yeah.

[1:00:40] All right.

[1:00:40] We got one last question.

[1:00:42] Oh, shit.

[1:00:43] Hey, guys.

[1:00:43] It's my first time here.

[1:00:46] My name is Matt.

[1:00:47] Thoroughly entertaining.

[1:00:48] Unbelievable.

[1:00:49] Oh, thank you.

[1:00:49] The only question is, are you guys going anywhere after to have a beer?

[1:00:53] Wow.

[1:00:54] Interesting.

[1:00:55] You guys, let me interrupt you to have a beer somewhere.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:56] Seems like some kind of a plan.

[1:00:58] It's a real setup.

[1:00:58] So, thank you, Matt, my business partner last name withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:07] Yeah, so after the show, we're doing an after party at a bar called Hinterlands.

[1:01:11] Woo!

Dan McCoy

[1:01:13] Matt, do you have any connection to this bar, Stuart?

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:17] Wait, are you a cop?

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:20] Dan, you have to tell him if he asks.

[1:01:22] That's the law.

[1:01:22] That's a myth.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:23] That's an urban legend.

[1:01:24] Urban law.

[1:01:25] He's going to pull his badge out again.

[1:01:27] Two uses in one night?

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:30] I was right to make that wish.

[1:01:34] So, we're doing an after party at Hinterlands tonight.

[1:01:38] It's not too hard to get there if you take the FRG train from the 9th Street stop, 4th Avenue and 9th Street.

[1:01:43] Very close to you.

[1:01:44] A cab also is not that expensive.

[1:01:46] And if you have also spoken to me about a cab, my lovely wife, Charlene, will be at the front door of this establishment.

[1:01:52] Woo!

Dan McCoy

[1:01:53] This is all going to be really useful for the people listening to this at home later on.

[1:01:57] You'll edit it out, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:58] You edit a lot of these, right?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:00] Nope.

[1:02:00] Staying in.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:03] Old Dan Walter.

[1:02:03] 739 Church Avenue.

[1:02:06] I will talk over Elliot's joke.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:10] You all have Google Maps.

[1:02:11] Just put Hinterlands into there.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:13] No, it'll send them to some kind of uncivilized wasteland.

[1:02:17] Some forest somewhere.

[1:02:18] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:19] We live here now, Dan.

[1:02:21] You're a forest person now.

[1:02:23] We've managed to go only five minutes over time.

[1:02:26] That's amazing.

[1:02:27] That's amazing, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:31] And it's all thanks to these wonderful people at the Bell House.

[1:02:37] It's a place we like to be.

[1:02:39] And let's hear it for the wonderful people at the Bell House.

[1:02:46] I don't think, I don't think, I don't think I've ever seen a mouse at the Bell House.

[1:02:53] I wouldn't know if I'd seen a louse at the Bell House.

[1:02:59] I saw a person wearing a blouse at the Bell House.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:05] I'm sorry.

[1:03:06] Just my soul left my body there for a second.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:09] I guess what I'm saying is, Dan.

[1:03:11] Yeah.

[1:03:11] Thank you to everybody.

[1:03:13] Thank you for making this possible.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:16] Thank you to the Bell House.

[1:03:18] Thank you to our sound man.

[1:03:20] Thank you to Matt Carman, who's running tech for us.

[1:03:24] And for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:27] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[1:03:31] And.

[1:03:32] Oh, God.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:34] You learn a lot of things about yourself in a life.

[1:03:36] Jesus Christ.

[1:03:38] And I think the thing I've learned is.

[1:03:39] They have to clean up.

[1:03:41] That I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:03:42] Good night, everybody.

[1:03:43] Good night, everyone.

[1:03:44] Hello.

[1:04:12] Hello.

[1:04:13] Hello.

[1:04:14] If you threaten to extend your violence, this earth of yours shall be reduced to a burned

[1:04:19] out cinder.

[1:04:20] That's from the day the earth stood still.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:23] Matt has such a blank look on his face right now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:26] I mean, I would expect with these really great jokes that he can correct it out.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:29] How's my level?

[1:04:30] How's my level?

[1:04:31] No, my level.

[1:04:31] Mine.

[1:04:32] Give me my level.

[1:04:33] What's my level?

[1:04:33] No, Dan's level's bad.

[1:04:34] Mine's level's good.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:35] Mine's level.

[1:04:36] Mine's level.

[1:04:38] Yeah, I'm taking Jar Jar lessons.

[1:04:40] Me, some level.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:41] Wow, that's topical.

[1:04:47] Maximumfun.org

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:48] Comedy and culture.

[1:04:49] Artist owned.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:50] Listener supported.

Ep. #236 - Suicide Squad LIVE

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