Ep. #236 - Suicide Squad LIVE

[0:00] On tonight's episode, live from the bell house, we discuss Suicide Squad.

[0:05] But Dan, this is going to be our shortest episode ever because that movie was really good.

[0:16] All right, got it in one.

[0:30] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[1:00] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:02] Chain rattle, ghost sounds, Halloween sounds.

[1:08] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:09] All right.

[1:10] Number one, inappropriate.

[1:14] That's not...

[1:15] What?

[1:16] When did you become the arbiter of appropriateness, Dan?

[1:19] It's not near Halloween.

[1:21] I don't understand what that was about.

[1:23] Who knows when people will listen to this?

[1:24] Yeah, fair enough.

[1:25] Number two...

[1:27] What if this is on Billy Pilgrim's iPod

[1:29] and he's like, oh, it wasn't Halloween

[1:30] when I started listening, but now it is.

[1:32] I fell through a time warp or something.

[1:33] Yeah, you're right.

[1:34] It's probably on fictional character Billy Pilgrim's iPod.

[1:36] Guys, true story.

[1:40] Because we're in front of a bunch of people,

[1:42] when we were doing the introductions,

[1:44] I momentarily forgot my own name.

[1:47] That happens, that happens.

[1:50] It's okay, we'll work through this together.

[1:52] Is that what you do when you stare off

[1:54] into the distance and get silent?

[1:56] Do you just think of your own name?

[1:59] let's not talk about the dark places i go to hey dan so what do we do on this podcast all right

[2:07] thanks for your name is dan thanks for asking elliot uh this is a podcast where we watch a

[2:13] bad movie and then we talk about it do we do we usually have so many people in your apartment

[2:21] uh i don't know where they came from and they won't leave

[2:25] But we're glad that they're here

[2:29] To listen to us talk about

[2:30] Suicide Squad

[2:32] Suicide Squad

[2:34] Suicide

[2:37] Dude's getting funnier

[2:39] Squad

[2:40] La Squad

[2:43] Di Suicido

[2:45] Suicidi

[2:47] Which sounds better fake Italian

[2:49] This was a movie

[2:52] Squadum Suicidum

[2:54] All right.

[2:56] Was it a movie, Dan?

[2:57] This was a movie that...

[2:59] Are you sure this was a movie

[3:00] and not like a trailer for a video game?

[3:03] Funny you should talk about trailers

[3:07] because a lot of people thought

[3:07] this was going to be a really good movie

[3:09] based on the trailer.

[3:10] The trailer made it look like a fun lark.

[3:13] A romp in the Guardians of the Galaxy thing.

[3:15] Now, people say stuff like that

[3:18] as if there was a betrayal involved.

[3:19] As if the purpose of a trailer

[3:22] wasn't to make you want to go see

[3:24] a movie. As if the trailer

[3:26] should have opened with a voice saying,

[3:27] in a world where movies are often disappointing,

[3:30] get ready

[3:32] for another. When did these commercials for

[3:34] movies become so commercial?

[3:35] When even as a

[3:38] wee babe, my father would tell me,

[3:40] eh, they put all the best parts in the trailer.

[3:42] He stopped saying that the day we went

[3:44] to see a movie called Gremlins 2 The New Batch.

[3:46] Because

[3:48] there were too many good parts

[3:50] to fit in a trailer. Yeah, they would have to play the whole movie

[3:52] as the trailer. Yeah. And then of course

[3:54] You're like, I don't need to see the movie.

[3:55] I saw all the good parts.

[3:56] And Joe Dante's like, rats, my residuals.

[3:58] This is the only audience where a mention of Gremlins 2,

[4:01] the new batch, is a pander.

[4:03] I know our crowd.

[4:07] So, Dan, a lot of people saw this trailer,

[4:09] and they said, that's going to be a fun movie.

[4:10] It looks like it's got jokes, it's got folks,

[4:12] it's got spokes and wheels.

[4:13] It's like a hot topic brought to life.

[4:17] And animated, and man, there's all my favorite characters.

[4:23] Will Smith and the other guy and the lady.

[4:26] Again, you're saying that like it's a joke.

[4:27] People do say, oh, Will Smith's in that movie.

[4:29] I like him.

[4:30] He's a huge star, Dan.

[4:31] That's why you put stars in movies.

[4:32] You're questioning the underpinnings of the film business.

[4:35] Like, this is a new thing.

[4:38] Oh, they just put that big star in that movie to get people to go see it.

[4:40] Yeah, they put Viola Davis in it, so it's got to actually be decent as opposed to terrible, I guess.

[4:46] Hmm, hmm.

[4:48] That's where the thesis falls apart.

[4:50] Sure.

[4:51] Why don't you tell us a little bit about this movie, Elliot?

[4:53] I'll tell you a little bit about it.

[4:55] So, Suicide Squad imagines a world where superheroes are real.

[4:58] Wow, you're showing me to the core.

[5:02] Are we ready for such a thing in 2017?

[5:05] Now, Suicide Squad is the latest chapter in the DCMUS, the DC Movie Universe stuff,

[5:12] in which DC looks at Marvel and goes, hey, I want that.

[5:19] And so recently, this will show when we are recording this.

[5:22] Recently, we covered Superman v. Batman, Justice of a Nation or something.

[5:27] And it posited a world where superheroes are kind of violent, grim figures

[5:32] who are always beating each other up in abandoned men's rooms

[5:34] and, like, just killing each other left and right.

[5:37] But for Suicide Squad, they had made a twist.

[5:39] They said, what if the heroes are really grim, violent guys who kill each other?

[5:44] That would be a crazy twist, right?

[5:47] Nothing like the previous movie we just made.

[5:50] Well, ironically, like, the bad guys in this movie are much lighter than Superman and Batman.

[5:56] Much smaller body count for the villains who are turned heroes in this movie than for Superman.

[6:00] Who destroyed a city and did not seem to care.

[6:04] No, well, yeah, stuff to do.

[6:05] Well, it's strange because this movie also sets up the idea of forming an elite team of villains turned, I guess, heroes.

[6:12] That's also a ragtag squad of underdogs.

[6:14] It's based around the idea that, like, what if a superhero showed up that isn't a good guy?

[6:18] And I'm like, I thought the government already thought Superman was a bad guy.

[6:22] They nuked him in space.

[6:23] Yeah.

[6:23] So, anyway, Suicide Squad.

[6:26] This movie has roughly 17 openings.

[6:28] We're first introduced to, let me try to dig through the onion of layers back to the beginning of this movie.

[6:36] Deadshot.

[6:37] Deadshot.

[6:37] We're introduced to, so here are the characters.

[6:39] To the house of the rising sun.

[6:40] There's a music cue for every fucking person.

[6:42] The music budget for this movie must have been enormous.

[6:45] They must have said, I mean, I guess it's a Warner movie,

[6:48] so they just flung open the doors of the Warner Library

[6:51] and said, go hog wild.

[6:52] Put in every Southern rock hit and every rap hit you can imagine

[6:57] that says, on the nose as possible.

[6:59] There's literally, when Joker comes back,

[7:02] they're literally playing Shady's Back and stuff like that.

[7:05] It's ridiculous.

[7:07] But anyway, Deadshot.

[7:12] he's a super assassin

[7:13] his special power is

[7:14] he's really good

[7:15] with shooting people

[7:16] Harley Quinn

[7:18] the Joker's girlfriend

[7:18] her special power is

[7:20] she hits people

[7:20] with a bat

[7:21] Killer Croc

[7:23] actual special power

[7:24] he's like a crocodile man

[7:25] Captain Boomerang

[7:27] special power

[7:28] throws boomerangs

[7:28] he's got boomerangs guys

[7:30] watch out

[7:32] watch out America

[7:33] cause boomerangs

[7:34] are coming for you

[7:34] they're gonna come at you

[7:36] and then they're gonna

[7:37] fly back around

[7:38] so

[7:39] I thought that's what

[7:40] America was

[7:41] power and fear I guess

[7:41] I thought America was looking out for boomerangs in the 80s

[7:44] when Yahoo! Sirius and Crocodile Dundee were at their peak.

[7:46] That's right.

[7:48] They were terrorizing the nation.

[7:50] Yeah, those two guys.

[7:51] Yahoo! Sirius just walked across the shore in the Pacific

[7:55] and Crocodile Dundee made land in Manhattan

[7:57] and they just walked through the country

[7:59] spreading boomerang-based terror until they reached the middle.

[8:03] Whoever wins, we lose.

[8:04] Yeah.

[8:05] And there was El Diablo, who has fire powers.

[8:11] and who, there's a, everyone gets

[8:13] their backstory told,

[8:15] their backstory told again, and like

[8:17] an introductory powers

[8:19] demo scene. And

[8:21] it's like the movie thinks that you're, the movie

[8:23] is like, look,

[8:24] this movie was for people who got

[8:27] hit on the head a lot.

[8:28] We gotta keep

[8:31] reminding them who these characters are.

[8:33] How are they gonna remember that Killer Croc is the

[8:35] guy with crocodile skin?

[8:36] And how are they gonna remember that Harley

[8:39] Quinn is the one woman until

[8:41] Katana literally walks onto a plane

[8:43] and they go, oh yeah, Katana's on the team too.

[8:45] Or like Slipknot

[8:47] who has a few minutes in the movie.

[8:49] Literally all the bad guys that we've seen up to

[8:51] this point, they all got their backstories told.

[8:53] And each of their backstories is like a miniature movie

[8:55] where they removed all the

[8:57] connective tissue so that you don't really know

[8:59] what happened in their adventure. Suddenly shows up

[9:01] and I'll tell you this. There's a lot of potential

[9:03] in something like that. It's like how in every James Bond

[9:05] movie it starts off with a little mini adventure

[9:07] just to remind you, who's this James Bond guy?

[9:09] Oh yeah, the coolest guy in the history of the world.

[9:11] uh now i remember okay titles and let's get on to the real story it's like slipknot by the way

[9:17] though it gets like one line like he literally line of dialogue which he walks off a car he

[9:21] like opens a car door and steps out while the villain someone says oh that's slipknot he can

[9:26] he can climb anything he then proceeds to punch a woman in the face yeah and then as soon as they

[9:33] get to their mission he tries to run away and the grenade that they've embedded in his in his

[9:37] The nanite grade in his neck blows up and he's dead.

[9:40] So we'll get to the nanite grenades.

[9:41] But essentially, so here's what...

[9:43] Sorry, Stuart.

[9:44] Stuart really became attached to Slipknot

[9:48] in the marketing campaign preceding the film.

[9:50] So Slipknot is literally the Mikey Likes It of this movie.

[9:54] Yeah, bring Slipknot in.

[9:56] He can climb anything.

[9:57] Let's try the nanite grenades on Slipknot.

[10:00] Blows up his neck.

[10:01] Hey, it works!

[10:02] And villain-tested government proof.

[10:05] But at least he has a clear ability.

[10:07] Like, when they bring Harley Quinn in,

[10:08] they're like, she's a wild card.

[10:10] Yeah.

[10:10] She's got crazy powers.

[10:13] She's, uh...

[10:14] I mean, she's in a con...

[10:15] When the point in a movie

[10:16] where someone's really gotten the shit beaten out of them

[10:19] and they're almost dead,

[10:19] and then the bad guy goes like,

[10:21] oh, will I keep you alive to see your wife killed first?

[10:23] And puts a gun to the wife's head,

[10:25] and suddenly you get anger strength,

[10:27] and your wounds instantly heal,

[10:28] and you get the strength to throw that guy off a building,

[10:30] that's Harley Quinn all the time.

[10:32] Who's playing that villain?

[10:34] Is that Chucky Cario?

[10:37] Clearly it's Udo Kier doing an impression of a guy who does a bad Udo Kier impression.

[10:44] Wow.

[10:45] He's a very talented actor.

[10:46] Layers upon layers.

[10:47] These characters are introduced to us numerous times.

[10:50] The first 45 minutes of the movie.

[10:52] Now, there are a lot of movies where they're putting together the heist team,

[10:55] and it takes a long time, and that's great.

[10:57] This movie takes like 45 minutes to explain the same five characters over and over again.

[11:02] Get it?

[11:03] Okay, here's what they're going to do.

[11:05] movie thinks that it's me at a party

[11:07] where you, you know, you tell me your name

[11:09] and then five minutes later I'm like, I have no idea who this guy is.

[11:11] So they're all at some crazy,

[11:15] some crazy supervillain prison down in

[11:17] Nolens, and... What's it,

[11:18] what's your problem with names, Dan?

[11:20] Yours, other people's?

[11:23] You make a good

[11:27] point. I should probably

[11:29] see a neurologist.

[11:30] Now, Viola Davis

[11:33] playing Amanda Waller,

[11:34] the toughest character in the comics

[11:36] because she has no powers,

[11:37] like most of the heroes in the movie.

[11:39] She puts together,

[11:42] it's her idea to put together this Team X

[11:44] of the worst of the worst.

[11:46] Again, not as bad as the real heroes in the universe

[11:49] who destroy cities,

[11:50] but the worst of the worst

[11:51] and put them on one team to go on missions

[11:53] where they're easily expendable

[11:55] and there's a lot of plausible deniability

[11:57] because it's like,

[11:58] oh, that monster destroyed a city.

[11:59] Someone stopped him.

[12:00] It must have been some bad guys

[12:02] who fought with him and they died.

[12:03] Yeah, when she approaches the government,

[12:04] she's like,

[12:05] hey, check out this amazing video of a guy

[12:07] and it's just this kind of boring video

[12:09] of a bunch of people being set on fire.

[12:10] Like, oh, I think you oversold it there, man.

[12:13] She says something like,

[12:13] the video is incredible

[12:14] and then it's like the worst looking

[12:16] After Effects fire effects.

[12:17] And there's also her first agent, Enchantress,

[12:21] an archaeologist who discovered

[12:22] some evil sorcerer witch's heart

[12:25] and opened the bottle it was in

[12:27] and the sorcerer witch took over her body

[12:29] and now she's like...

[12:32] and now she looks like the girl from The Ring,

[12:33] and she's like...

[12:34] In a bikini.

[12:35] She hangs out and she makes out with Joel Kinnaman,

[12:39] the new RoboCop.

[12:40] And this movie operates in a universe

[12:42] where unless your name is Viola Davis,

[12:44] you have to wear some kind of outfit

[12:46] that shows your belly or has your butt hanging out of it

[12:49] for all the time.

[12:50] Because Harley Quinn's costume is basically

[12:53] like the smallest shorts you can make

[12:55] without them being not shorts anymore,

[12:57] and they're just underpants.

[12:58] And the Enchantress, who's a super powerful...

[13:01] you know, demon wizardess, is just like

[13:04] dressed in a bikini, basically. That's how they dressed in the

[13:05] olden days, Elliot. Good point.

[13:07] The olden days of the

[13:09] what, 80s spring break, I guess?

[13:11] That's the one power she doesn't have

[13:14] is to spirit up more clothes. She can't

[13:16] do it. Oh, man. She can't do it.

[13:17] So, Enchantress

[13:19] sets some plot in motion. She escapes

[13:21] and she sets some plot in motion that involves

[13:23] turning a regular guy into a giant

[13:26] gold monster man with tendrils

[13:28] that come out of his hands and hit people.

[13:29] And when they do that, she also turns regular people

[13:32] into kind of like black mold blob monsters

[13:35] who are actually much less effective

[13:37] than regular people would be at fighting.

[13:39] And her plan involves,

[13:43] and this is something you've never seen

[13:44] in a superhero movie before or any movie before,

[13:46] opening up a portal through which,

[13:49] a blue portal with a beam of light coming out of it

[13:53] through which something, yes.

[13:58] I honestly couldn't tell if something was going to come out, go through, explode.

[14:02] I don't remember what the portal was for.

[14:04] I don't know.

[14:04] She's building a weapon, and she says to Viola Davis later in the capture,

[14:08] she goes, now tell me how to destroy your forces.

[14:10] And it's like, I don't know, blow them up or something.

[14:12] Bullets, dude.

[14:14] We don't have vampire soldiers.

[14:15] They're human beings.

[14:15] Pretty much anything kills us.

[14:18] You don't need to look on our Wikipedia page to figure out what our weakness is.

[14:24] Get that issue of National Geographic with the article on humans.

[14:28] What's their weakness?

[14:31] Cut their Achilles tendon or something?

[14:33] Just gross.

[14:34] Just try some shit.

[14:36] So, Entrantris goes nuts in Midway City,

[14:39] which I am not a DC fan enough to know

[14:41] if that's a real DC fictional city.

[14:42] I assume it is.

[14:43] There's a lot of little Easter eggs in this movie

[14:45] for the DC fans,

[14:46] such as the moment when Harley Quinn

[14:48] is thinking about her boyfriend, the Jokmer,

[14:50] played by Jared Leto in what's essentially...

[14:55] He gets almost no introduction.

[14:56] It's kind of crazy.

[14:57] It's the Joker.

[14:58] Okay, this is the biggest name character in the movie.

[15:00] In a movie with all introductions.

[15:01] I guess it's not the biggest name character because Batman is in the movie.

[15:04] Batman just kind of shows up and punches people and then walks away.

[15:07] And the Joker, they just kind of cut to him and he's like, hey.

[15:11] And then that's, like there's no big buildup.

[15:15] Every time the Joker appears, they just cut to him like, oh yeah, he was in that scene too, the Joker.

[15:19] I mean, the Joker feels like he's visiting from another movie.

[15:23] Like he's just like, oh, I thought I'd stop by Suicide Squad.

[15:26] What's going on in here?

[15:27] Not much? Okay, gotta go.

[15:28] Because, like, he is completely extraneous to the plot.

[15:32] Like, he keeps showing up and trying to save Harley Quinn,

[15:35] but he is bad at it.

[15:36] Like, every time, he's in a helicopter,

[15:40] and the helicopter gets blown up,

[15:41] and she's like, okay, well, I'm back again, guys.

[15:44] I guess I'm, can I still be part of your squad?

[15:46] Is that okay?

[15:47] But there's a moment where, so let's...

[15:50] Every scene the Joker looks like,

[15:51] he just showed up from attending a party viewing

[15:54] of the Baz Luhrmann Romeo and Juliet movie.

[15:57] He dressed up for a midnight screening

[16:00] of Romeo plus Juliet.

[16:02] And he's like, oh, I'm so busy,

[16:05] I don't have time to change.

[16:06] I guess I'll just have to keep wearing

[16:08] this tuxedo unbuttoned with no tie.

[16:10] Yeah, that's crazy, right?

[16:11] My silver capped teeth and all my tattoos.

[16:14] But he's a pretty lackluster joker.

[16:18] And I guess you do get the sense

[16:20] that Jared Leto, they just decided

[16:22] they didn't like him and they just cut him

[16:24] a lot out of the movie.

[16:24] He's still in the movie

[16:26] a fair amount,

[16:26] but it does feel like

[16:27] when you're guest starring...

[16:29] When you send used condoms

[16:30] to your co-workers

[16:32] as a way of getting

[16:33] into the character

[16:34] as the Joker,

[16:35] I think that you,

[16:36] like, the best you can hope for

[16:38] is being cut from the movie.

[16:39] I think that points

[16:41] to his misconception

[16:42] of the Joker character,

[16:43] because the Joker,

[16:44] let's just call him

[16:46] what he is.

[16:46] He's the clown prince of crime.

[16:47] The guy's always,

[16:48] give him,

[16:48] say what you will about him,

[16:49] homicidal maniac.

[16:50] He loves to laugh.

[16:51] And he is,

[16:53] At least he's having a good time and he's not afraid to do it.

[16:55] He just wants to pull everyone else into the party.

[16:57] Look, it's the Joker.

[16:58] Stop selling us the Joker.

[16:59] Look, I'm just not sure if you guys have heard of this new character, the Joker.

[17:04] I think he's got a lot going for him.

[17:07] I mean, he has no powers and he's basically just a clown that kills people with knives.

[17:11] But the world's greatest detective can't stop him.

[17:13] So, that detective being, of course, Benedict Cumberbatch.

[17:17] He can't stop him because the Joker's not a real person and Benedict Cumberbatch is.

[17:22] And Benedict Cumberbatch, he's just looking at...

[17:25] The actor Benedict Cumberbatch is the greatest detective.

[17:29] Yes, the actor Benedict Cumberbatch, as you just said.

[17:31] He is just reading a Batman comic going,

[17:34] ooh, I wish I could stop you.

[17:36] And trying to put his fingers through the comic.

[17:40] And he's like, if only I had some kind of last action hero ticket

[17:44] that worked for comics.

[17:45] But I would never rip a comic.

[17:47] To get into the comic, it would ruin its resale value.

[17:49] Me, the world's biggest comic collector, Benedict Cumberbatch?

[17:52] I feel like Nicolas Cage is going to sue us

[17:56] For you saying that last part

[17:57] I love that

[17:59] Guys, I'm the biggest comic book collector, okay

[18:01] I collect comic books and I collect

[18:03] Illegally sourced Mongolian dinosaur skulls

[18:05] I love that Benedict Cumberbatch just goes around

[18:10] Proclaiming him the world's biggest everything

[18:12] Like he goes into McDonald's

[18:14] Give me a Happy Meal

[18:16] Me, Benedict Cumberbatch

[18:17] The world's biggest collector of Happy Meal toys

[18:20] No, he would say

[18:20] The world's biggest kid

[18:22] i may be older on the outside but i'm young on the inside he goes to toys r us this is the place for

[18:28] me i don't want to grow up i'm benedict cumberbatch so he's just trying to convince everybody he has

[18:36] that jack disease where he ages really fast uh proving the old comedy adage that it's just fun

[18:42] to say benedict cumberbatch over and over again so what we oh there's a moment i won't even get

[18:47] tired no forget it i was gonna talk about a moment it's not important let's get back to the plot

[18:50] Our Suicide Squad has been assembled several times.

[18:53] It's off to the mission.

[18:54] There's a big monster who's attacking Midway City.

[18:58] Enchantress is opening up her portal.

[19:00] The Suicide Squad is told they're going in to rescue some famous scientist.

[19:04] In actuality, they're rescuing Amanda Waller herself.

[19:07] And they get really mad that they've been lied to about everything.

[19:10] This is all stuff that the audience has been well aware of throughout the entire movie.

[19:14] So when Deadshot finds a binder and reads it instantly,

[19:20] And tells his local squaddies that, hey, we've been had.

[19:24] This isn't the fun and games we were set up for.

[19:26] They're like, let's just go get a drink in a bar for a while.

[19:30] Because there's a lot of forced camaraderie in this movie.

[19:33] And I get it.

[19:34] It's about a team of misfits.

[19:35] Hey, they're not team flares, but they become team flares.

[19:38] Nay, they become a family.

[19:40] Perhaps that's stretching it a little far.

[19:44] But there's a lot of forced, uh-oh,

[19:49] Now's the moment where they start to connect.

[19:51] But it doesn't quite feel like it works for me.

[19:54] Yeah, that crusty, crunchy exterior has a nice, soft inside.

[19:58] That sounds delicious, Stuart.

[19:59] I know.

[20:00] You just described the perfect meat pie.

[20:02] Suicide Squad.

[20:05] Suicide Squad.

[20:07] Mrs. Lovett.

[20:09] What an out-of-place reference to no good effect.

[20:14] Why stop now?

[20:17] We were just talking about Benedict Cumberbatch talking back to comic books.

[20:20] Do we even care how they stop the Enchantress?

[20:25] No, they do it, a bunch of them.

[20:26] They're followed by a group of real regular soldiers who, of course, exist

[20:30] only to be killed by the bad guys to show how bad the bad guys are.

[20:34] And to highlight the question of why did they need the Suicide Squad?

[20:38] They already have a bunch of soldier dudes.

[20:40] Yeah, like, what is Harley Quinn going to do?

[20:43] Blunk him with a hammer.

[20:44] Yeah.

[20:45] Well, she shows you that big clown hammer, and she never uses it.

[20:48] She just uses a baseball bat and a pistol.

[20:50] Disappointing.

[20:51] She pulls up her regular Harley Quinn costume.

[20:54] Let's get one thing straight.

[20:55] The old Harley Quinn.

[20:56] My dad's Harley Quinn.

[20:58] Which was my Harley Quinn, because my dad wasn't watching Batman the Animated Series.

[21:03] That original Harley Quinn.

[21:05] Why not, Ellie?

[21:06] It's pretty good.

[21:07] What?

[21:07] It's pretty good.

[21:08] No, it's a great show.

[21:08] I tried to get him to watch it.

[21:10] He was like, but I want to watch a grown-up show.

[21:13] a neon evangelion, whatever

[21:15] he's like, American animation will never be as good as

[21:19] Japanese animation. Let's watch

[21:21] Ranma 1.5 again, son.

[21:23] So, the

[21:27] old Harley Quinn

[21:29] was a beloved, lovable character.

[21:31] Look, she was,

[21:33] one, looked like a Harlequin, so the name made

[21:35] sense. Two, and

[21:37] she was just like Joker's

[21:39] crazy henchman, but there was a

[21:41] weirdly there was more depth to that character

[21:44] and the way that she would

[21:45] occasionally feel bad about what they were doing

[21:47] but she wanted the Joker's attention

[21:48] she was a conflicted character in a way that this

[21:51] Harley Quinn is not

[21:53] except for one moment. Dan, do you want to describe

[21:55] that moment? There's a pretty good

[21:57] I think there's a nice little moment where she

[21:59] thinks that Joker

[22:01] has died and she's sitting on a

[22:03] car in the rain crying

[22:05] and then the rest of the Suicide Squad comes up

[22:07] and she immediately puts on

[22:09] her sexy, crazy act that she does.

[22:13] Like, I don't care about anything.

[22:15] Hey, fellas.

[22:15] Yeah, it's like a little moment

[22:17] that actually works.

[22:18] It's a nice character thing.

[22:20] So all you have to do is sit through

[22:21] the first hour and 35, 40 minutes of the movie.

[22:24] I'm allowed.

[22:25] A bad movie can have a good bit.

[22:28] Look, you gotta pan through a lot of dirt

[22:30] to find one speck of gold dust.

[22:32] And Dan did it.

[22:34] He's a grizzle old prospector,

[22:36] and maybe he went insane

[22:37] from those months he spent on the mountain.

[22:39] And I said, gold.

[22:40] There's gold.

[22:41] When he walks into town with that tiny sack of gold dust that can buy him, I guess, one ride on a pony at the local county fair.

[22:48] That's why I'm doing it.

[22:51] Yeah.

[22:52] Yep.

[22:53] Buttercup's going to be yours for a mere ten minutes, Dan.

[22:57] Ten minutes is a long time for a pony ride.

[23:00] Dude, I don't ride that many ponies.

[23:02] Chill out.

[23:02] I don't ride that many ponies.

[23:06] So you ride some ponies.

[23:08] Five or six, dude.

[23:09] I've lived a long life.

[23:11] We only scratched the surface of Suicide Squad,

[23:13] partly because we've got a time limit.

[23:15] If we were doing this in Dan's apartment, just the three of us,

[23:17] we could easily talk for four hours about this movie

[23:19] because there's so much stuff in it.

[23:21] But it's like, usually that's like,

[23:23] hey, we can only tell you a little bit about this movie.

[23:25] Go check it out.

[23:26] Don't bother to do that.

[23:27] It's like the same way that there are times every now and then

[23:30] when I'm like, I've never read, like, the Bhagavad Gita.

[23:34] Like, then I'm probably never going to do that.

[23:37] And I'm just going to know there's a lot of interesting stuff in there I'll never know.

[23:40] I mean, if you want to see a movie where a bunch of people fight a bunch of faceless blobs

[23:46] that are, you know, kind of easy to disintegrate,

[23:49] and then at the end they destroy a cosmic power by just putting a really big bomb under it.

[23:55] And shooting the bomb.

[23:56] This is the movie for you, then.

[23:57] It's a movie where they bring in this squad of super bad tough guys

[24:01] who are either given extensive backstories or literally thrown at the screen at the last minute.

[24:06] like when you order something in a restaurant

[24:09] and they leave out one component,

[24:10] and you're like, what about this?

[24:11] Like, oh, it's just coming out of the kitchen right now.

[24:13] Okay, here you go.

[24:14] It's like that, but they bring these guys

[24:17] with special abilities with them,

[24:19] and at one point, they need to dive

[24:20] into a flooded subway station to plant a bomb,

[24:23] and Killer Croc is like, give me the bomb,

[24:25] and the Marines or whoever they are are like,

[24:26] no, we'll take care of it.

[24:28] Why'd you bring a crocodile man?

[24:29] This is the perfect time for him to pull his stuff.

[24:33] He took off his hooded sweatshirt for it and everything.

[24:36] No, this job isn't for you.

[24:38] This is probably not.

[24:39] We brought you here for one reason.

[24:41] You're our ethics counselor.

[24:42] And you're supposed to watch what we do

[24:45] and then report on it back to us

[24:47] so we can make sure we're following standard protocol.

[24:50] It's like Killer Croc is going on a ride-along

[24:54] for his crime novel that he's working on.

[24:56] For his Gator Man series of mysteries.

[25:01] You're like, Killer Croc,

[25:04] Is Gator Man a representation of somebody?

[25:06] Hey, Gator Man's just a character who spoke to me,

[25:10] and the character of retired detective Lou Gator Man

[25:14] is just a fictional character.

[25:16] Oh, he's Jewish.

[25:17] Yes, I mean, it's part of...

[25:22] I don't explicitly talk about his Judaism,

[25:24] but it's something that makes the character a little richer.

[25:26] You know, he's dealt with prejudice on the force

[25:29] working in Mobile, Alabama.

[25:34] Oh, jeez.

[25:35] But it is a nonsensical movie.

[25:38] And so many of the action scenes and scenes in general

[25:41] are edited so clearly poorly.

[25:43] Maybe it's improved by the extended version.

[25:46] I'm guessing not.

[25:47] I mean, there's like when Katana gets introduced.

[25:49] She literally walks onto a helicopter they're already on.

[25:52] And Joel Kinnaman's character is like

[25:54] describing how her sword can cut everybody

[25:57] and it steals your soul or something.

[25:58] But while his character is delivering this monologue,

[26:01] you can see him in the background

[26:03] and his mouth isn't moving at all.

[26:05] By the way, I want to know how they know

[26:08] that that sword steals people's souls.

[26:10] Like, do they have like a soul detector

[26:12] that they put up to the sword

[26:13] and they're like, oh yeah, it's in there.

[26:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[26:15] They read about it in the zoo book.

[26:17] Whenever she tries to swing the sword at somebody,

[26:22] a window pops up that said,

[26:24] sorry, no more space for souls on this sword.

[26:26] And she's like, hold on, we got to wait with the fight.

[26:29] And she's scrolling through looking for old souls

[26:31] she can delete.

[26:32] Oh, and then I've got to go to the recently deleted Souls album

[26:35] to really free up the space on the phone.

[26:38] It's a sword, but I call it a phone bank.

[26:40] I couldn't even sustain that bit.

[26:43] We could talk for a long time, but we only have limited time here,

[26:48] so we should wrap this part up with our final judgments.

[26:52] Suicide Squad edition.

[26:55] And if this was Suicide Squad, you would say final judgments,

[26:57] and then, like, some song with the word judgment would start playing.

[27:02] Yeah.

[27:02] So the categories are, is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie,

[27:08] or a movie that you kind of liked?

[27:10] Elliot, what do you have to say?

[27:12] It's hard to say because I didn't like it.

[27:15] And I didn't really enjoy watching it.

[27:19] But there was so much movie in there.

[27:20] Maybe it was just too much movie for me.

[27:25] Like, maybe the problem was with me, not with the movie.

[27:27] Like, maybe I just can't handle that.

[27:29] So I'm going to say, bad, unless I'm wrong.

[27:33] And I'm sure the fine people on the internet will let me know if I'm wrong about their favorite movies.

[27:39] It's amazing how movies like this...

[27:41] People don't have strong opinions about comic book movies.

[27:43] Before these movies come out, anytime they get a bad review before release, people are like,

[27:48] you must hate comics, you don't even get it.

[27:51] And then as soon as the movie comes out, those feelings evaporate into thin air.

[27:55] And there's never a sorry.

[27:56] There's never an apology.

[27:57] No.

[27:58] Yeah, what do I have to say about this?

[28:05] You had your opportunity.

[28:07] We've been talking for a while.

[28:08] It's not a good movie.

[28:10] The one thing I will say is that Will Smith and Margot Robey are working their asses off to sell the material.

[28:17] Bad choice of words for Margot Robey's character.

[28:20] No, yes, I was aware.

[28:22] But I think both of them show a lot of charm,

[28:26] and I would be happy to see her as Harley Quinn

[28:30] in a good movie.

[28:31] I think she could do that.

[28:33] I'd be happy to see her in a good movie,

[28:36] raves Dan McCoy.

[28:37] No, but you're right.

[28:40] No, you're right.

[28:41] The movie is not so bad

[28:43] that it can't crush their charisma.

[28:44] Yeah, those two are actual movie stars.

[28:47] The rest of it, eh, you don't need to see it.

[28:50] A cheer for Dan's indifference.

[28:56] Let me tell you guys a story.

[29:00] I was talking to somebody last night

[29:04] who described Suicide Squad

[29:07] as a movie that made them question

[29:09] what was possible in movies.

[29:11] And I don't disagree with that.

[29:13] They throw a bunch of text up on the screen

[29:15] at different points.

[29:16] And also, it is really strange

[29:19] how it does feel like there's whole separate movies

[29:21] that have been condensed down.

[29:23] Like, the first half of the movie feels like

[29:25] you're watching the, like,

[29:25] what happened last season on Suicide Squad.

[29:28] Yeah, it feels like a movie put together

[29:30] from a season of a TV show.

[29:31] There's a, I think it's in the book Slaughtermanic,

[29:34] there's a bit about a book that has so many hyperlinks in it,

[29:38] and each hyperlink takes you to the full text of another book.

[29:41] So you never, ever finish any of the books,

[29:44] because you're always hyperlinking.

[29:46] That's kind of what this movie was designed for,

[29:47] is that technology where you could be like,

[29:49] wait a minute, I want to watch that Harley Quinn movie.

[29:51] Click, and you'd watch that movie.

[29:53] Or like, I like that Deadshot scene.

[29:55] Let's watch that Deadshot movie.

[29:56] Except that technology does not exist yet.

[29:58] Except, I guess, in the form of that movie Mr. Payback.

[30:00] So, yeah, I didn't like it.

[30:05] It's a bad, bad movie.

[30:06] I would like, I mean, I feel like there's some stuff

[30:10] I liked Captain Boomerang.

[30:12] Here's the thing with Captain Boomerang.

[30:17] one sure i guess so but uh but he's like no there's is that a thing so he he like they so

[30:25] they're all having drinks and they're like no let's do this let's finish this mission and he

[30:28] just leaves yeah he's like i deactivate the bombs and he just immediately just leaves there's no

[30:33] setting you up you know he's gonna come back at some climactic moment and save someone with a

[30:38] boomerang he doesn't you know what he does the next shot they're walking down the main street

[30:42] to where they're going.

[30:43] Wait, they're walking

[30:44] someplace slowly with music?

[30:45] Yeah.

[30:46] This movie also could have been

[30:47] called Walking Slowly in Ranks

[30:49] with a pop song

[30:51] playing behind your squad.

[30:52] But he just steps into frame

[30:54] and nods to them

[30:54] and they nod back

[30:55] and it was like,

[30:55] why bother having him leave?

[30:57] Maybe he's going to come back

[30:59] ten seconds later

[31:00] so that you could do, what,

[31:02] the Rogue One movie

[31:03] where it's like,

[31:04] what was Captain Boomerang

[31:05] up to in those minutes

[31:06] that we didn't see?

[31:06] I guess we'll find out

[31:08] in our spin-off,

[31:09] not prequel,

[31:10] it takes place

[31:10] during the other movie.

[31:13] And that movie is just him in the bathroom

[31:15] idly thumbing through a magazine.

[31:18] I mean, if it was really like...

[31:20] Yeah, a boomerang catalog.

[31:21] If he walked up and was like...

[31:23] Got it, want it, got it, got it, want it.

[31:27] If he walked up and he was like,

[31:31] why did you guys leave?

[31:32] I just went to the bathroom.

[31:33] There's also a part where he's using a remote...

[31:37] He's using a boomerang with a GoPro on it

[31:39] and he's watching the video on his phone

[31:41] and the camera breaks because of evil magic, I guess,

[31:44] and he goes, ah, and he throws the phone down.

[31:46] And Stuart had the great idea.

[31:48] It would have been so much better if he threw the phone away

[31:51] and then a moment later it came back to his hand.

[31:53] They call him Captain Boomerang.

[32:00] They call him that because everything in his hands becomes a boomerang.

[32:03] And he's just, like, throwing celery sticks and they come back to him.

[32:06] It's a blessing and a curse, clearly.

[32:08] Yeah, because he can never throw garbage away.

[32:11] You know how you feel when you're throwing away styrofoam packing peanuts

[32:14] and they won't leave your hands because of static clang?

[32:16] That's Boomerang's life.

[32:18] Not so great.

[32:21] Done with this soda.

[32:22] Oh, man.

[32:23] Comes back to him.

[32:24] So, Dan, what do we do now?

[32:25] It seems like the dumbest power to wish for.

[32:28] Did he wish for it in a King Midas type scenario?

[32:32] Yeah.

[32:33] What happened was he threw a half-finished package of Twizzlers away

[32:40] and he's like, actually, I would have finished that.

[32:42] I wish it would just come back to my hand.

[32:44] And Zool is right there, and he's like,

[32:46] or Gozer is there, and he's like, oh, shit.

[32:48] So, Dan, okay, that's that.

[32:51] Dan, stop us before we tangent again.

[32:54] Hey, guys, this is Adam Conover.

[33:00] You may know me from my true TV show,

[33:02] Adam Ruins Everything.

[33:03] Well, guess what?

[33:04] Now we're doing a podcast version

[33:05] right here on Maximum Fun.

[33:07] What we do is we take all the interesting,

[33:09] fascinating experts that we talk to

[33:10] for just a couple minutes on the show and we sit with them for an entire podcast really going deep

[33:15] and getting into the fascinating details of their work find adam ruins everything wherever you get

[33:20] your podcasts or at maximum fun.org hi everybody i'm justin mcroy i'm travis mcroy and i'm griffin

[33:29] mcroy and this is our serious promo no horsing around you two if you like just three gentlemen

[33:36] being adults about topics and giving advice for them to them my brother my brother me is a podcast

[33:41] for you serious-minded adults no monkey shines no falderal hey let me ask you a question how

[33:47] sophisticated is your palate you like merlot our show is basically like the merlot and dark

[33:53] chocolate of podcasts you gotta be grown up to like them our podcast is toilet wine

[33:58] listen to the toilet line of podcasts every monday right here at maximum fun.org

[34:05] next uh we've got some messages uh from people who help fund the flop house oh i like those

[34:20] the first one comes from blue apron which uh is a service that provides food to you

[34:28] really selling it for less than ten dollars per person per meal blue apron delivers seasonal

[34:34] recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals uh coming up

[34:41] on the blue apron recipe lineup you got your seared chicken and creamy pasta salad with

[34:48] summer squash and sweet peppers that sounds delicious you got creamy shrimp rolls with

[34:54] quick pickles and sweet potato wedges don't know what a quick pickle is but i want it can't be

[34:59] quick enough for me yeah over here it's not like those slow pickles you gotta sit there you gotta

[35:04] wait for them as they're also known pickles yeah you got fresh basil fettuccine pasta with sweet

[35:09] corn and cubanelle pepper stewart sound says it all and lastly coming up you got uh your chili

[35:17] butter steaks with parmesan potatoes and spinach and here's the here's the difference about blue

[35:23] apron one you don't gotta go nowhere the food comes to you you ain't gotta go nowhere are you

[35:30] a shut-in are you a homebody are you an old person have you just had a baby are you time to go

[35:35] grocery shopping nobody does in this fast-paced world nobody has time to go grocery shopping it's

[35:40] why retail is going down the toilet these days but those meals are killing retail yeah with their

[35:45] avocado toast and whatever and they're not getting jobs and playing vidya games instead now the food

[35:49] comes to you you don't even have to put your pants on you can just wait till the mailman leaves and

[35:54] go outside and get it yourself pantsless number two you gotta cook it yeah but you know you don't

[36:00] gotta go you don't gotta measure the ingredients everyone's least favorite part of cooking

[36:04] measuring those damn ingredients you don't have to get out all your little spoons that are the

[36:08] different sizes you don't have to get out a measuring cup you can use a regular cup pour

[36:12] some beer in it drink that because you know what you can be a little tipsy because you don't have

[36:16] to measure anything that's great just take the little containers they give you dump them in

[36:20] beautiful okay third thing it tastes delicious it's all seasonal you know what that means they're

[36:25] not going to be giving you winter food in the summer they're not going to give you spring food

[36:28] in the fall they're going to give you food from that season the way nature meant you to eat it

[36:32] and number four look at how cheap it is less than ten dollars per person per meal no one can eat

[36:38] that cheap unless you're dumpster diving dan do you want to dive in a dumpster or do you want

[36:42] delicious food pre pre uh sorted out in terms of recipe size delivered to your door just two

[36:48] options where's this dumpster located not in your house you gotta leave your house put some pants on

[36:54] all right if there's pants involved i want blue apron instead that's right just imagine dan wearing

[37:00] nothing but a blue apron no pants and go to what is blueapron.com uh blueapron.com

[37:06] slash flophouse blueapron.com slash flophouse check out this week's menu and get your first

[37:11] free meals free with free shipping

[37:13] by going to blueapron.com slash

[37:15] Flophouse. That's blueapron.com

[37:17] slash Flophouse. Your mouth will thank

[37:19] you and your butt will thank you because it doesn't have

[37:21] to have pants on.

[37:22] Elliot, I believe you've got a Jumbotron.

[37:25] I do have a Jumbotron. There's a

[37:27] Jumbotron message today.

[37:29] This message is for Will.

[37:31] Hey. And the message is from

[37:33] Meredith. Hey. So Will, open

[37:35] up those ear holes because Meredith's gonna

[37:37] shoot some words into them. Gross.

[37:41] What if it was a gun that's shooting the words?

[37:43] Okay.

[37:44] Dear Will, happy 30th birthday.

[37:47] I've had so much fun with you these past two years,

[37:49] going for long bike rides, eating eggs,

[37:51] and listening to The Flophouse together.

[37:53] Congratulations on becoming an old man.

[37:55] You are my favorite boyfriend, and I love you.

[37:57] Meredith.

[37:58] P.S.

[37:59] If Elliot would...

[38:00] If Elliot would...

[38:02] Oh, I see there's an if there's going to be there.

[38:03] Elliot, would you sing a song about how cool Will is?

[38:05] It would make his year.

[38:06] I gotta do it, you guys.

[38:08] You know I gotta do it.

[38:09] I'm legally obligated.

[38:10] I'm legally and morally and divinely religiously obligated.

[38:14] Will the Eggmaster requires it.

[38:16] Is there a cooler guy than Will?

[38:20] If there has, then I haven't met him still.

[38:23] He can cook some eggs.

[38:24] He can ride a bike.

[38:26] There's a lot of things that he likes that I like, like the Flophouse.

[38:30] And so for 10 years of the Flophouse, it's 30 years of Will.

[38:34] There's been three times as much Will as Flophouse.

[38:38] Flophouse is only one-third as much as Will.

[38:41] So, Will, you're three times as cool as the coolest thing in the school,

[38:46] which is the Flophouse.

[38:47] Boy, is that Will guy cool.

[38:49] He eats eggs.

[38:50] Thanks for that.

[38:53] And his girlfriend sounds cool, too.

[38:54] Yeah, he eats eggs.

[38:56] That's great.

[38:59] You know what?

[39:00] Frasier may not know what to do with that tossed salad and scrambled eggs,

[39:03] but Will knows what to do.

[39:04] Eat it.

[39:05] Yeah.

[39:06] Unless, is that a sex thing that Frasier's singing about?

[39:08] That's a good question.

[39:11] Is that the Tossality singing about?

[39:12] I don't know what scrambled eggs means.

[39:14] No.

[39:14] You don't want to know.

[39:16] Okay, don't tell me.

[39:17] So, we've also got a few announcements, right?

[39:23] Well, we've got one thing to announce that I can think of.

[39:27] Yeah.

[39:28] Well, we've got two things.

[39:29] First off, the Flophouse is doing an international live show in Toronto, Canada.

[39:34] but it's already sold out, I hear.

[39:36] So I guess keep checking that site if you live in Canada

[39:40] to see if there's returns and maybe a seat over them.

[39:44] Go ahead, maybe in StubHub.

[39:45] Yeah, which is, I think, just called...

[39:47] StubHub A.

[39:48] It's just called HockeyTickets.com.

[39:50] StubHub A.

[39:52] And we also just want to remind everybody,

[39:56] if you haven't, you can go check out the Flophouse Funnies,

[40:02] a series of comics that we do.

[40:04] They're digital comics that you can download off of our website,

[40:09] theflophousepodcast.com.

[40:10] And between us and a variety of incredibly talented people.

[40:17] A bewildering and astonishing array of talent has been helping us.

[40:21] We've been putting out some stuff,

[40:21] and all the money from those go to the ACLU.

[40:27] Yeah, after expenses are paid, everything goes to the ACLU.

[40:30] So far, we've donated over $4,000 from these comic sales, but we want to keep donating more.

[40:37] In these times, and I believe I speak for most of our listening audience, in these times, the American Civil Liberties Union's work is more needed than ever.

[40:46] And so we want to support them.

[40:48] If you want to support them and get some crazy comic stories by your favorite pals, the Flophouse, then please do that.

[40:54] Go to, what's the website, Dan?

[40:56] It's www.flophousepodcast.com.

[41:00] And so we put out three comics, and we actually have three more.

[41:04] In the works.

[41:05] Kind of in the works, yeah.

[41:06] The three we did have before were on the theme of horror,

[41:08] three different types of horror stories.

[41:10] And should we reveal the theme for these next three?

[41:12] Sure, yeah, do it.

[41:13] The theme is love.

[41:15] Yeah.

[41:16] The opposite of horror, maybe the least horrible thing,

[41:19] unless you're afraid of commitment, that it's the scariest thing.

[41:22] We're going to do three very different takes on the concept of love

[41:25] in comic book form.

[41:26] So get ready for that.

[41:28] They'll be coming out one at a time, and you'll have your chance

[41:30] to donate through those, but the horror

[41:33] issues are still available, and

[41:35] if people like these and keep

[41:36] helping us make money for a good

[41:39] cause, then we'll probably keep doing them.

[41:41] And we should mention also that

[41:45] we can't announce them yet, but we are going to have

[41:47] some other upcoming live show dates

[41:49] to announce in parts

[41:50] of the country that we've never performed

[41:52] in before.

[41:53] I think we can say where, we just can't,

[41:56] we don't have the full...

[41:58] Go ahead to say when, I don't think.

[42:01] Let's just say...

[42:02] Let's just say it's the West Coast.

[42:04] Let's say...

[42:04] Yeah, let's narrow it down to not the coast we're used to going to.

[42:07] Yeah.

[42:08] So keep your ears open for West Coast Flophouse dates.

[42:13] If you want to go to In-N-Out Burger, they have them there.

[42:18] Yeah.

[42:20] Let's just say, also, if you want to get something in a bread bowl, they have them there as well.

[42:27] I mean, you can...

[42:28] You can get that pretty much anywhere.

[42:29] What's the fuck?

[42:31] It's a regional thing that's famous.

[42:34] It's a regional thing?

[42:35] No, but it's famous for a city.

[42:37] Because I've thought of a treat from that city

[42:39] that it's not bread bowls.

[42:40] Can you get it Aroni style?

[42:43] You certainly can.

[42:45] Aroni it up.

[42:47] Yeah, that's that Bobby Brown song.

[42:50] That's my song, Aroni it up.

[42:52] So those are some hints about two cities.

[42:55] They'll never guess.

[42:56] You're right, you got me.

[42:57] It's Albuquerque and Des Moines.

[42:58] So I think those were all our announcements

[43:01] Before our time runs out

[43:09] We have a next part of the show

[43:11] Which is taking a few questions

[43:13] Oh, I just rammed the microphone into my face

[43:15] Taking a few questions

[43:18] We have about 20 minutes for that, I think

[43:20] Roughly, maybe a little less

[43:22] There's a microphone over here

[43:24] If anyone would like to ask us a question

[43:25] About anything in the world

[43:27] It's over there.

[43:28] But first, my preamble.

[43:29] Anyone who's been to see us before will be familiar with this one.

[43:32] But I'll tell you anyway.

[43:33] Here's a little thing I like to do when I'm at a Q&A.

[43:36] It saved me a lot of trouble.

[43:38] It'll save all of us a lot of trouble.

[43:39] If you're getting ready to ask a question, people have lined up.

[43:42] First, think about that question.

[43:45] And then think to yourself, if I was not me, and I heard somebody else ask this question,

[43:50] would I care?

[43:51] Often, the answer is no.

[43:56] Take the opportunity to think of another question

[43:58] or sit down.

[44:00] I've been at too many Q&As where it's like,

[44:03] first, I'm going to tell you for 10 minutes

[44:04] why your work uniquely appeals to me

[44:06] and we should be friends.

[44:07] Woody Allen, like this.

[44:10] All right.

[44:12] It's someone who's never going to be friends with you

[44:15] is what I'm saying.

[44:15] Yeah, just...

[44:19] How many, not us, I'm talking about Woody Allen.

[44:22] How many of you want to hang out with Woody Allen?

[44:25] You're wasting our time.

[44:26] You're wasting the audience's time.

[44:28] Okay, sorry.

[44:28] That's the show, basically.

[44:29] Yeah, so keep it pithy.

[44:34] What do you have to say?

[44:37] So real quick, Elliot, as per your tweet back to me.

[44:40] First off, what's your name, last name withheld?

[44:42] Peter, last name withheld.

[44:43] Hi, Peter.

[44:44] Thanks for coming.

[44:44] Thank you.

[44:45] Per your tweet back, I don't want to hesitate asking for your autograph since you're going

[44:50] to be out of here, you said.

[44:51] Oh, probably.

[44:52] Well, I'll stick around for a couple minutes at first.

[44:53] Okay.

[44:53] Don't worry.

[44:54] Thank you.

[44:54] So my question is, and yours too, Dan.

[44:56] I already have Stewart's.

[44:57] Oh, okay.

[44:59] Oh.

[44:59] Well.

[45:00] He already has mine, dude.

[45:03] Now we know the order of favorites.

[45:05] Two on top, of course, me, comfortable in the middle,

[45:07] and then, you know, whoever.

[45:08] So after over 200 episodes,

[45:15] which ones did you have the most fun recording?

[45:22] Like, Elliot, I'm sure.

[45:24] You have a different one from Dan and et cetera.

[45:26] Which most fun recording?

[45:28] Yeah.

[45:29] The live shows are the most fun to record.

[45:31] Brooklyn, Brooklyn.

[45:34] Hey, Ender.

[45:37] I mean, the movies that break us the most,

[45:39] like Oogie Loves or something like that.

[45:41] I'm going to jump in here, guys.

[45:43] Okay, take it, take it.

[45:44] I think the most fun I had watching a movie

[45:46] and talking about it with these guys

[45:49] was Easy Rider 2, The Ride Back.

[45:51] Oh, yeah.

[45:52] That was a good one.

[45:54] Like, that last, like, third of the movie just broke me.

[45:58] When that old man's little bottom lip quivers.

[46:00] Like, I laughed the whole way until the mics came out.

[46:05] When there's just a shot of him getting a haircut

[46:07] from his daughter-in-law for no reason.

[46:08] I don't have a good answer,

[46:19] so in the interest of moving things along,

[46:21] if you have one.

[46:22] Yeah, one of the crazy ones.

[46:23] One of the ones that break us.

[46:24] When we're doing Oogie Loves Your Food Fight

[46:26] and we're crawling back over the ash heap

[46:28] of our lives together.

[46:29] Or something that's got catchy songs like Bratz.

[46:31] Yeah, moving right along.

[46:33] Thanks, Peter.

[46:33] All right, next question.

[46:34] Hurry it up.

[46:35] Let's go, people.

[46:35] Come on, all right.

[46:36] You don't have all day.

[46:36] Let's do this.

[46:37] Okay, hurry it up.

[46:38] File through, okay.

[46:39] Hey, my name's Antu.

[46:42] I've come from the land of Captain Boomerang

[46:44] to ask this question.

[46:45] Whoa, thank you.

[46:46] So is he, like, famous there?

[46:49] He's everyone's favorite superhero?

[46:50] He's on the currency, Elliot.

[46:52] The rubber currency that never gets wet.

[46:55] It must be so galling to be like,

[46:57] finally, an Australian superhero.

[46:58] Oh, he's a boomerang, I get it.

[47:00] Because every American superhero

[47:02] throws hot dogs at people.

[47:03] Oh, superpowers, he throws shrimps at people.

[47:07] No, only onto Barbies.

[47:08] Oh, okay.

[47:09] So my question is,

[47:12] it involves the Stuart Gordon film, Reanimator.

[47:16] Seen it.

[47:17] So me and a friend think that

[47:21] the premise of that movie

[47:22] would make a great

[47:23] three-camera sitcom.

[47:25] You guys are right.

[47:28] As the straight man

[47:31] with the lead character

[47:33] who's in med school

[47:34] and his pesky roommate

[47:35] who ruins everything

[47:37] by trying to bring back the dead,

[47:38] what movie would you pick

[47:42] to turn into a three-camera sitcom?

[47:43] Oh, that's a good question.

[47:46] That's a good question.

[47:48] Yes, that deserves super applause.

[47:51] This is how you know Elliot is vamping

[47:53] He repeats that's a good question twice

[47:55] Well it's a good question because it's a stumper

[47:58] What is a good sitcom?

[48:02] I think

[48:03] Well I mean

[48:06] Did they ever try to make Big into a show?

[48:08] If he doesn't turn back

[48:09] And he's just a child stuck in a man's body

[48:12] That's a sitcom right there

[48:14] And they call it

[48:16] Big the show

[48:17] He's a little boy in a man's body

[48:20] sleeping with normal-aged women.

[48:21] Okay, you know what?

[48:23] You're right.

[48:24] I forgot about that part.

[48:25] Don't, don't, not big.

[48:28] Okay.

[48:28] Oof.

[48:30] Ooh.

[48:32] Forgot about that part.

[48:34] I just remembered him working at the toy company.

[48:36] I'm just like, in my head,

[48:40] I'm just like running through like movie titles.

[48:42] The Fugitive.

[48:44] Blue Velvet.

[48:45] Dirty the Dinosaur.

[48:46] Trouble with the Curve.

[48:48] That thing you do.

[48:49] What's the trouble with the curve?

[48:50] The League of Their Own.

[48:52] I mean, the League of Their Own would make a great...

[48:55] The League of Their Own might be a good one.

[48:56] That'd be good.

[48:56] I don't know about three cameras that come,

[48:57] but that'd be a good series,

[48:58] like about a woman's baseball team.

[49:00] I mean, the League of Their Own did that great,

[49:01] so I don't know what there is more to do with it.

[49:03] See them play other games?

[49:05] It just shows those same people,

[49:10] but not playing baseball afterwards.

[49:12] It's just like,

[49:13] okay, well now we're back to our normal lives.

[49:15] Why are we following these characters anymore?

[49:17] I don't understand.

[49:18] It's like After Mesh,

[49:19] the hit show after MASH.

[49:20] So then I'm going to say Suicide Squad.

[49:24] That was a great question.

[49:26] I think we're not going to come up with any better answers,

[49:29] so thank you very much.

[49:30] All right, thank you.

[49:31] Thanks so much for coming all this way.

[49:33] Awesome.

[49:34] Hello.

[49:38] Hey.

[49:39] It's me, Liz, last name withheld.

[49:41] Hello.

[49:42] I'm here again.

[49:43] Back again.

[49:45] I haunt this podcast like a poltergeist.

[49:49] It's not even a pun, doesn't work?

[49:53] Yeah.

[49:54] Sorry, we made you the pun police.

[49:56] I believe this badge.

[49:59] Oh, the FBI.

[50:00] You were going like a vampire.

[50:03] What if I had a badge, Elliot?

[50:06] Wouldn't that have been great if I actually had a prop badge?

[50:08] And you've just been waiting for years for a chance to use it.

[50:11] Every morning you're getting dressed, walking out to work.

[50:16] Oh, shit, I forgot my prop badge.

[50:18] I've got to walk back from the subway station just in case.

[50:21] I say sadly to myself, maybe today, maybe today.

[50:25] I've got to make this $1.29 that I spent on this worth it.

[50:30] Your question was?

[50:32] I do have a question.

[50:33] Okay, now.

[50:35] Sorry to waste your time.

[50:37] Oh, okay.

[50:41] I don't know why I turned into Morton Daniels.

[50:43] If you had to assemble your own team of motley supervillains

[50:49] to do whatever it was they were trying to do in Suicide Squad,

[50:52] because I wasn't sure because I was real drunk when I saw that movie,

[50:55] and you could only choose from villains who had appeared in movies

[51:00] that were featured in the Flophouse.

[51:01] Oh, literally someone behind her in line collapsed.

[51:07] Yes.

[51:08] In horror and fear that that had been their question, I think.

[51:11] I knew it was a good idea

[51:13] to run up here

[51:13] because somebody else

[51:14] was going to have

[51:14] the same dumb question.

[51:15] Oh.

[51:16] Yeah.

[51:17] Wow.

[51:18] You're assembling

[51:19] a suicide squad

[51:21] of villains

[51:21] from Flophouse movies.

[51:22] Well, Bobby Wobbly

[51:23] has to be in there.

[51:24] Bobby Wobbly.

[51:25] I mean, technically

[51:26] he's not a villain.

[51:26] He's not really a villain,

[51:27] but he is a villain.

[51:28] You know you're putting in

[51:29] the popular girl from Bratz.

[51:31] You know it.

[51:32] Yeah.

[51:33] You know it.

[51:34] And her power is that

[51:34] she can buy anything.

[51:35] She's super rich.

[51:36] And she always goes

[51:38] into musical numbers.

[51:39] She bought an elephant.

[51:40] She bought an elephant

[51:41] for her party

[51:42] and you know she just

[51:43] killed that elephant

[51:43] after like

[51:44] it's not

[51:46] and it's not like

[51:47] then she put on

[51:47] like an elephant meat feast

[51:48] for the homeless

[51:49] like she just

[51:50] dumped it in her pool

[51:51] she killed it

[51:52] with emotional neglect

[51:53] yeah

[51:54] so yeah

[51:56] Bobby Wobbly

[51:57] the rich girl from Bretts

[51:58] seven pounds

[52:00] is a made up villain

[52:01] are made up characters

[52:02] okay then I guess

[52:03] five head also

[52:04] the corrector

[52:07] the corrector

[52:08] now it's just flop

[52:09] okay we should do

[52:09] characters from movies

[52:10] not just stupid characters

[52:12] we made up

[52:13] on our dumb show

[52:13] what other

[52:15] it's hard to think of

[52:17] like villains

[52:18] from these movies

[52:19] oh one of the

[52:19] oh the crazy

[52:20] Christopher Lloyd character

[52:22] from Food Fight

[52:23] who I guess

[52:24] who I guess

[52:24] is a wild eyed robot

[52:26] sure the snake man

[52:27] from Jonah Hex

[52:28] stop shouting movies at me

[52:33] if you wanted

[52:35] to answer this question

[52:36] you'd do a podcast

[52:37] for almost 10 years

[52:38] God damn

[52:40] We earned this question

[52:41] We've wasted our lives

[52:43] We don't even remember the villains

[52:46] Okay let's name one more

[52:50] We've got a pretty good team here

[52:51] Let's name one more

[52:52] What's a movie we've watched

[52:55] Lex Luthor doesn't count

[52:58] What?

[52:59] Tango and

[53:00] Jack Palance from Tango and Chad

[53:03] Jack Palance and the English guy that they blow up

[53:07] Yeah that guy's great

[53:08] And Robert Zadar's in that.

[53:09] Yeah, and James Hunt.

[53:10] You know what?

[53:11] Let's just do all the villains from Tango and Cash.

[53:12] Guys, let's just watch Tango and Cash.

[53:15] Let's watch Tango and Cash.

[53:16] Let's just watch Tango and Cash.

[53:17] Thank you for the question.

[53:18] Of course, TNC.

[53:21] BME, best movie ever.

[53:22] Hey, guys.

[53:23] I am the guy who collapsed.

[53:25] My idea was that Bradley Cooper from Burnt finished shucking his two millionth oyster

[53:29] and was assembling a suicide squad, but I got a backup.

[53:32] Oh, that's pretty good.

[53:33] My backup question is, obviously, there's a lot of speculation over what would be the plot of the flophouse of the movie.

[53:40] And a very popular one is a body swap movie.

[53:43] So my question is, there's two ways that this could go.

[53:47] Okay.

[53:47] Which body, which way do you pick?

[53:50] And what is the heartwarming lesson that each of you learn from being in another person's body?

[53:56] All right.

[53:56] Interesting.

[53:57] Okay.

[53:57] That's tough.

[53:59] But that's tough but fair.

[54:00] Tough but fair.

[54:01] Well, clearly,

[54:02] I want to be Stuart because he's the tallest.

[54:06] And you know what?

[54:08] I think I'm going to learn

[54:09] it's not so easy being tall.

[54:11] You bump your head into stuff?

[54:13] You bump your head.

[54:14] Can you just walk under the turnstile at subway stations?

[54:17] Because I can.

[54:18] No, I have to pay for it.

[54:21] I wanted to be Stuart so I could learn

[54:23] that being beautiful isn't everything.

[54:24] I want to be both you guys.

[54:31] Your soul splits between the two of us.

[54:34] My bottom half goes into Elliot.

[54:36] Wait, so are we, like, sharing the space then?

[54:42] It's like an all of me type situation?

[54:45] Yeah, you can ride on Dan's shoulders in my body.

[54:49] It's like the old, like, reincarnation problem

[54:54] where it's just, like, there used to be, like,

[54:56] so many fewer people that, like,

[54:57] all those people must be, like, split between

[55:00] several people at this point

[55:01] because there's so many people out there.

[55:02] You could be reincarnated as an animal, Dan.

[55:04] So guys, we both want to be inside my body.

[55:07] What?

[55:08] Yeah, we both want to be inside you.

[55:09] So what valuable lesson are you going to learn?

[55:13] Other than, yeah, what valuable lesson will you learn?

[55:15] We told you, it's all about appearance, Stuart.

[55:17] Oh, right.

[55:18] I'm great.

[55:19] And then I'll jump into Dan's body

[55:23] and just do all sorts of crazy stuff

[55:25] that he has to deal with the consequences of later.

[55:26] You'll realize that it isn't a lot of fun

[55:30] to be interrupted all the time.

[55:32] And sometimes,

[55:33] it's hard to read words on a page.

[55:36] Sometimes.

[55:40] It is, guys.

[55:40] Sometimes it's harder to speak clearly

[55:43] when you literally have the words

[55:44] in front of your face.

[55:45] Do you realize how drunk I am?

[55:48] Clearly the lesson you would learn from me

[55:52] is that the truest treasure is fatherhood.

[55:54] Okay.

[55:54] I think we have enough time

[55:58] to quickly go through

[55:59] the three people that are in the line.

[56:00] Nobody else joined the line.

[56:01] That's it.

[56:02] Nobody is.

[56:02] Yeah, no one's running up there.

[56:05] Jeremy, last name withheld.

[56:08] You mentioned in your critique of this

[56:10] how much pop music was in it,

[56:12] and I think Watchmen, another comic book movie,

[56:15] there was a lot of discussion about

[56:18] its sort of jukebox feel for its music selection.

[56:22] And I can't think about the word jukebox

[56:24] without thinking about karaoke.

[56:26] I know you guys have a penchant for it.

[56:28] So what do you think is the movie with the most singable official soundtrack?

[56:32] Bratz.

[56:33] No, that's not true.

[56:37] It's got La Cucaracha in it, dude.

[56:40] Purely because my son's been into it a lot.

[56:44] I've been seeing a lot of the Muppet movie.

[56:45] A lot of the Muppet movie.

[56:47] And those words are surprisingly difficult,

[56:50] but when you get them, there's such a feeling of accomplishment.

[56:53] When you know the words to Can You Picture That,

[56:55] a song which makes no sense.

[56:58] I mean, I know that Jeremy has been present at a karaoke night where I've sung not one,

[57:03] but multiple songs from Little Shop of Horrors.

[57:06] So I think that that's my choice.

[57:09] Both of you guys listen to musicals, right?

[57:11] Yeah, I mean, sure.

[57:13] Why not?

[57:14] If it's a movie.

[57:14] We're making the rules.

[57:15] We've got the microphones.

[57:17] You can't be like Hamilton.

[57:18] And I'm going to break those rules again, because I'm going to say the movie that I

[57:21] listened to the soundtrack the most of, I'm going to change the question entirely.

[57:24] That's not what was asked.

[57:27] I'm going to say Probably the Crow.

[57:30] It's got an awesome, edgy soundtrack, dude.

[57:38] Pop it in.

[57:40] All right.

[57:42] You asked for it.

[57:43] You like Joy Division?

[57:44] There's a Nine Inch Nails cover of a Joy Division song.

[57:47] All right.

[57:49] So Stuart's a teen girl in the 90s.

[57:51] Let's go on.

[57:52] Sure.

[57:53] all right so my uh first statement is i've been to about two or three of these and this is by far

[58:00] the largest crowd you guys have had thank you all right that's so that when the media tries

[58:07] to distort it we got an eyewitness on the scene not to bring it back to the suicide suicide squad

[58:16] too much but if you guys had to give one nicholas cage villain to be part of this movie to lead this

[58:23] team, who would it be?

[58:24] Nicholas Cage villain.

[58:26] And Stuart, if you can give us a Flophouse

[58:29] cat. House cat.

[58:31] A Flophouse house cat.

[58:32] The people who have never

[58:39] heard the podcast are so baffled

[58:41] by why that got applause.

[58:43] I remember when we

[58:45] first started getting fan letters for the house

[58:47] cat. It was

[58:48] just a sound.

[58:50] Is he Elliot?

[58:53] Or is he so much more than that?

[58:54] I'd like to tell you a story.

[58:56] No.

[58:57] So a Nicolas Cage, now a villain from our movies?

[59:00] So a villain from a Nicolas Cage movie.

[59:02] Because I've got to say, the villain from Stolen, who has like a robot leg.

[59:06] Yeah, the cockroach man.

[59:07] Yeah.

[59:07] I mean, it's just that he lost a leg and he has a metal leg.

[59:11] Suicide Squad, I mean, their powers are that they can hit people with stuff.

[59:14] I mean, Julianne Moore as a bedreadlocked dragon lady in...

[59:21] Oh, right, and Witch Killer?

[59:23] No.

[59:23] Sorcerer's Sword Sky?

[59:25] Sorcerer's Seventh Son.

[59:27] No, it wasn't Sorcerer's Seventh Son.

[59:28] He wasn't even in that movie.

[59:29] No, it wasn't Seventh Son.

[59:29] I was wrong.

[59:30] Oh, my God.

[59:31] It was like, what was that movie called?

[59:33] What have I been doing?

[59:34] Seventh Son.

[59:35] No, Seventh Son I thought was the one with Jeff Bridges.

[59:38] He's not even in that movie.

[59:39] What's the one?

[59:41] It's like Seventh Son, but it's not.

[59:42] People are yelling out.

[59:43] No one knows.

[59:45] People are yelling out 50 different movies.

[59:47] Clearly.

[59:50] Only history will judge.

[59:51] Let's just say it was called Gone with the Witch.

[59:56] Anyway, but that's a good choice.

[59:58] Dan?

[59:58] Was the bad lieutenant kind of the villain of his own movie?

[1:00:04] Yes.

[1:00:05] Yes, that's the point.

[1:00:07] That's why he's a bad lieutenant.

[1:00:08] I would love to see him hallucinating iguanas while leading a team of the Suicide Squad.

[1:00:14] I mean, frankly, Nicolas Cage in Bad Lieutenant is the Joker performance Jared Leto should have had in this movie.

[1:00:20] Yeah.

[1:00:20] Like, he's crazy.

[1:00:21] When the moment when he goes,

[1:00:22] they shoot that guy,

[1:00:23] and they go,

[1:00:24] and he goes,

[1:00:25] shoot him again,

[1:00:25] I can still see his soul dancing.

[1:00:27] Like, that's the thing a joker would say.

[1:00:30] That's the thing a joker would say.

[1:00:33] One of them jokers.

[1:00:34] One of them midnight pokers.

[1:00:36] Yeah.

[1:00:36] All right, we got one last question.

[1:00:42] Oh, shit.

[1:00:42] Hey, guys.

[1:00:43] It's my first time here.

[1:00:46] My name's Matt.

[1:00:46] Thoroughly entertaining.

[1:00:48] Unbelievable.

[1:00:49] Oh, thank you.

[1:00:49] Are you guys, the only question is, are you guys going anywhere after to have a beer?

[1:00:53] Wow.

[1:00:54] Interesting.

[1:00:54] You guys want me to interrupt you to have a beer somewhere?

[1:00:56] Seems like some kind of a plan.

[1:00:58] It's a real setup.

[1:00:58] So thank you, Matt, my business partner, last name withheld.

[1:01:03] Yeah, so after the show, we're doing an after party at a bar called Hinterlands.

[1:01:11] Matt, do you have any connection to this bar, Stuart?

[1:01:16] Wait, are you a cop?

[1:01:19] Dan, you have to tell him if he asks.

[1:01:22] That's the law.

[1:01:22] That's a myth.

[1:01:23] That's an urban legend.

[1:01:24] Urban law.

[1:01:25] He's going to pull his badge out again.

[1:01:26] Two uses in one night?

[1:01:28] I was right to make that wish.

[1:01:32] So we're doing an after party at Hinterlands tonight.

[1:01:37] It's not too hard to get there if you take the FRG train from the 9th Street stop,

[1:01:42] 4th Avenue and 9th Street.

[1:01:43] Very close to here.

[1:01:44] A cab also is not that expensive.

[1:01:45] And if you have also spoken to me about a cab,

[1:01:48] My lovely wife, Charlene, will be at the front door of this establishment.

[1:01:51] This is all going to be really useful for the people listening to this at home later on.

[1:01:56] You'll edit it out, Dan.

[1:01:58] You edit a lot of these, right?

[1:01:59] Nope, staying in.

[1:02:01] 739 Church Avenue.

[1:02:05] I will talk over Elliot's joke.

[1:02:08] You all have Google Maps.

[1:02:11] Just put Hinterlands into there.

[1:02:13] No, it'll send them to some kind of uncivilized wasteland.

[1:02:17] Some forest somewhere.

[1:02:18] We live here now, Dan.

[1:02:20] You're a forest person now.

[1:02:23] We've managed to go only five minutes over time.

[1:02:26] That's amazing.

[1:02:27] That's amazing, right?

[1:02:28] And it's all thanks to these wonderful people at the Bell House.

[1:02:35] It's a place we like to be.

[1:02:39] And let's hear it for the wonderful people at the Bell House.

[1:02:46] I don't think, I don't think,

[1:02:48] I don't think I've ever seen a mouse at the bell house.

[1:02:53] I wouldn't know if I'd seen a louse at the bell house.

[1:02:59] I saw a person wearing a blouse at the bell house.

[1:03:04] I'm sorry, just my soul left my body there for a second.

[1:03:07] I guess what I'm saying is, Dan,

[1:03:10] thank you to everybody for making this possible.

[1:03:16] Thank you to the Bell House.

[1:03:17] Thank you to our sound man.

[1:03:20] Thank you to Matt Carman, who's running tech for us.

[1:03:23] And for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:03:26] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[1:03:28] And...

[1:03:32] Oh, God.

[1:03:32] You learn a lot of things about yourself in a life.

[1:03:36] Jesus Christ.

[1:03:37] And I think the thing I've learned is...

[1:03:39] They have to clean up.

[1:03:40] That I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:03:42] Good night, everybody.

[1:03:43] Good night, everyone.

[1:03:46] Hello? Hello?

[1:04:14] If you threaten to extend your violence

[1:04:17] This earth of yours shall be reduced

[1:04:19] To a burned out cinder

[1:04:20] That's from the day the earth stood still

[1:04:22] That has such a blank look on his face right now

[1:04:26] I mean I would expect with these really great jokes

[1:04:28] That he would be fucking correct

[1:04:29] How's my level

[1:04:30] No my level

[1:04:31] No Dan's level's bad

[1:04:34] Mine's level's good

[1:04:35] Mine's level

[1:04:37] Yeah I'm taking Jar Jar lessons

[1:04:39] Mesa level is

[1:04:41] Wow that's

[1:04:43] topical.

Ep. #236 - Suicide Squad LIVE

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