Ep. #237 - Ishtar

Dan McCoy

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Ishtar, the worst movie ever made.

Elliott Kalan

[0:06] So says everyone, circa 1988.

[0:10] Boyoyoying.

[0:30] Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:42] Yep, I'm Stuart Wellenden.

[0:43] And I'm Elliot Kalin. And Dan, this is a pretty special Flophouse, right?

[0:48] Uh, yep, we're all nude.

[0:51] We learned a lot. And now, listeners, I know you assume that we're nude most episodes,

[0:55] but this is really the first time that we've done it, and I think it's...

Stuart Wellington

[0:58] We're touring on, like, the hottest day of the year.

[1:00] Yeah, it is.

[1:00] We figured if we, like, stripped all our clothes off, we'd be, like, in a sweat lodge and we could see visions.

[1:05] Uh, but the only visions I'm seeing are...

[1:08] Are of wieners.

[1:09] Yeah.

[1:10] Rivulets of sweat pooling around my, uh, my distended ball sack.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16] Well, goodnight, everybody.

[1:18] That's the show.

[1:20] That's the show. That's it.

[1:22] Oh, boy.

[1:25] We officially jumped...

[1:26] It is very hot in my...

[1:28] We jumped the sack, as the kids like to say.

[1:31] It is very hot in Dan's apartment.

[1:33] And I don't mean hot like the hottest club in town.

[1:36] I mean hot like, uh...

[1:38] Like in Cleveland.

[1:40] Yeah, how hot it gets in Cleveland.

[1:42] Old ladies, you know?

[1:43] Is that a hot flashes, like, menopause thing?

[1:46] I think so.

[1:46] I think you're being unfair to say old ladies.

[1:49] Uh, Betty White?

[1:50] Well, I guess.

[1:51] I guess the other women in it are not old.

Dan McCoy

[1:53] What do you got there?

[1:54] You got a...

[1:55] Is it Wendy Malick in that?

[1:56] Yeah, Wendy Malick.

[1:56] Jane Leaves.

[1:57] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[1:58] And another woman, I think.

[1:59] And Betty White.

[2:00] All right.

[2:01] It's comedy all-stars.

[2:03] I think originally it was going to be called Golden Girls 21st Century.

[2:06] But they weren't old enough yet.

Stuart Wellington

[2:08] Mm-hmm.

[2:08] Was that like when they did the Marvel 2099 series?

[2:12] Exactly.

[2:13] And Ghost Rider looked crazy?

[2:15] Yeah, he was like a robot.

Elliott Kalan

[2:16] Yeah.

[2:17] Oh, that's stupid.

[2:18] And Doctor Doom 29 was...

[2:20] 2099 was...

[2:21] Well, Doctor Doom 29 was just a cheap Doctor Doom.

[2:24] Just $29.

Dan McCoy

[2:25] It's $29.99 for a Doctor Doom.

Elliott Kalan

[2:28] That's a good price for a Doctor Doom.

[2:29] Now, Dan...

[2:30] You can dictate your own country.

[2:32] What?

[2:32] Or a letter.

[2:33] Yeah.

[2:34] Dan, why is it really a special episode?

[2:36] Aside from the fact that, one, we're not wearing clothes.

[2:38] Mm-hmm.

[2:38] Because, two, it is so incredibly moist and hot that it feels like we're in a swamp somewhere.

Dan McCoy

[2:45] Mm-hmm.

[2:45] Uh, there's two reasons why this is a special episode.

[2:49] One sad, one happy.

[2:52] Okay.

[2:53] Should I...

[2:53] Which one should I go with first?

[2:54] I guess the sad.

[2:56] All right.

[2:56] This is the last episode that...

[3:00] The last regular episode.

[3:01] I'm sure that...

[3:02] It'll happen again.

Elliott Kalan

[3:03] It'll happen again.

[3:04] Just not for a while.

[3:05] Whatever.

Dan McCoy

[3:06] This is the last episode that we are recording with Elliot in my apartment.

[3:11] Before I leave.

[3:12] Before he moves to LA.

[3:14] Yeah.

[3:14] Before he dies.

[3:15] What?

[3:16] What?

[3:17] Dan, this is how my doctor wanted to tell me?

[3:19] Yeah.

[3:20] He called me and he said, do it gracefully.

[3:23] And I was like, I will not.

Elliott Kalan

[3:25] Not a capability I have, sir.

[3:28] Thank you and goodbye.

Stuart Wellington

[3:30] It's like, the only thing that would have been worse is if you'd made me read it off a note.

Dan McCoy

[3:36] I did it in body paint.

[3:39] When I took my shirt off for this all nude episode, that's how I decided to get this message across.

Elliott Kalan

[3:45] You're so sweaty that the letters are all melting.

[3:48] Yeah.

[3:48] Like a Rorschach drawing.

[3:49] Yeah.

[3:50] I thought it said, Elliot is during.

[3:53] I was like, what does that mean?

[3:56] Dying.

[3:56] I see.

[3:56] That's what it means now.

[3:58] Yeah.

[3:58] And so, yeah, this will be, it's just about 10 days before my move, roughly.

[4:03] Oh, man, are you nervous?

[4:03] Really?

[4:04] I'm a little nervous.

[4:05] Is that close?

[4:05] Yeah.

[4:06] It's a week from, you know what, maybe it's more like 12 days.

Stuart Wellington

[4:09] Do you feel that little tug in your butt where you're nervous that you're not going to get everything done in time?

Elliott Kalan

[4:16] Not really.

[4:17] Do you feel that little tug in your butt?

[4:19] Yeah, dude.

[4:20] I don't.

[4:21] You mean a tug butt?

[4:22] A little butt tug.

[4:23] That's the little butt that helps the big butts?

[4:24] You guys look at me like I'm greedy for saying that.

Stuart Wellington

[4:25] It's a normal thing.

[4:26] I don't usually feel a tug in my butt.

Elliott Kalan

[4:28] When do you get nervous that you're going to get left behind or something?

[4:31] Well, I'm always nervous when I get left behind because I don't believe that Jesus was a holy being.

[4:36] That makes you nervous?

[4:37] I mean, because there's always a little bit of me that like, what if I'm wrong and I'm left in a world just full of empty clothes?

[4:42] Uh-huh.

[4:42] Then you steal those clothes.

[4:43] Yeah.

[4:44] It's true.

[4:44] Never have to buy clothes again.

[4:47] I'm stressed out about getting things done for the day when the movers are coming, but other than that, I'm not nervous about it.

[4:55] Okay.

[4:56] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[4:57] And we're actually releasing this episode, not to pull the curtain back too far, but we're releasing this episode a little later than we record it, so it can coincide with our-

[5:08] None of our fucking references are going to be dated.

[5:10] Oh, man.

Elliott Kalan

[5:10] Well, hey, O.J. Simpson just got paroled today.

[5:14] That's still current, right?

Stuart Wellington

[5:17] Now, I hate to break it to you, he's already gone back to jail.

Elliott Kalan

[5:20] Oh, no.

[5:22] How about that crazy New York Times interview with the president?

[5:24] I mean, another one of those will have happened probably, right?

[5:27] But, Dan, so why are we delaying it?

[5:30] We're delaying it a little bit.

[5:31] Are we thinking of baseball to make the pleasure last longer?

Dan McCoy

[5:34] No.

[5:35] We're going to make this a little special for our 10th anniversary.

[5:39] That's right.

[5:40] The Flophouse is 10 years old.

Elliott Kalan

[5:43] Happy Flop Day to you, Dan.

[5:46] Happy Flop Day to you.

[5:49] Stuart.

[5:50] Happy Flop Day, dear Flophouse.

[5:53] Flophouse.

[5:54] Except me, because I wasn't here the first few episodes.

Dan McCoy

[5:57] Happy Flop Day to Flop You.

Stuart Wellington

[6:04] Yeah, you didn't come in until like five episodes in.

[6:07] What were you doing, man?

[6:09] Yeah, where were you?

Elliott Kalan

[6:10] We need to talk about your performance.

[6:11] I think I was still overseas.

[6:13] Oh, yeah, fighting vampires.

[6:15] Yeah.

[6:16] With my buddy, Van Helsing.

[6:18] Oh, okay.

[6:19] And his buddy, Van Wilder.

[6:21] And their dad, Van Morrison.

[6:23] Listening to their favorite band, Van Halen.

[6:26] In what else?

[6:27] Their favorite type of vehicle.

[6:29] A VW Bug.

[6:34] What kind of shoes were they wearing?

[6:38] Vans.

[6:39] Thank you.

[6:40] I know you were going to say airwalk for a second.

[6:43] And you know what kind of rules they were paying attention to?

[6:45] What?

[6:46] Van Der Pump rules.

Stuart Wellington

[6:48] Yep.

[6:49] You got to abide by those, even when you're in international waters.

[6:51] Mm-hmm.

[6:52] Exactly.

Dan McCoy

[6:54] They were spray painting stuff because they're vandals?

Elliott Kalan

[6:58] I'll allow it.

[6:59] Okay, I'll allow it.

[7:00] And their favorite Daily Show correspondent was Vans DeGeneres.

Dan McCoy

[7:06] Yeah.

[7:06] The Flophouse is old now.

[7:09] It's weird.

[7:09] Yeah, it was pretty young a second ago.

Elliott Kalan

[7:13] Time goes by pretty fast, dude.

[7:15] When you have a birthday and everyone goes, how, you feel older?

[7:19] And it's like, no, because I've aged gradually over the course of the year.

[7:23] Yeah.

[7:23] I think you'll miss it, you know.

[7:25] So when you guys started this podcast, let me take the place of the audience here for a minute.

[7:28] Okay.

[7:29] And we'll get to the movie in a little bit.

[7:30] Yeah, sorry.

[7:31] When you guys started this podcast, did you expect to be doing it a decade later?

[7:36] Nope.

[7:37] You know, I...

[7:39] To give people an understanding, this podcast predates the Obama administration.

Stuart Wellington

[7:43] When Dan suggested we do this podcast, and then we...

[7:47] And I'm like, yeah, okay.

[7:49] What's a podcast?

[7:50] And then we did it in my bedroom.

[7:53] The podcast...

[7:54] Whoa!

Elliott Kalan

[7:54] That's how he convinced you?

[7:56] Oh, man, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[7:58] Yeah, I...

[8:00] The prospect that anyone would listen to is crazy to me.

[8:05] But then, you know, Stuart from back then was a little different.

[8:08] A little bit more of a jerky rascal.

[8:11] He was a real jerky boy.

Elliott Kalan

[8:14] If he liked a chicken, it was jerk chicken.

Stuart Wellington

[8:17] Yep.

[8:17] If you had a crank, he would yank on it.

Elliott Kalan

[8:21] Gotta yank them cranks.

[8:23] Hey, hey, hey.

[8:24] Hey, keep your legs in the car, or is he gonna pull them?

Dan McCoy

[8:29] Yeah, so this is a...

Stuart Wellington

[8:30] What about you, Dan?

[8:31] When you envisioned doing a podcast for some crazy reason, did you expect...

Dan McCoy

[8:39] One crazy summer.

Stuart Wellington

[8:40] Yep, that's the reference I was expecting you to go with.

[8:45] So I'm gonna take that as a no.

[8:46] You didn't expect it to go this long.

Dan McCoy

[8:48] No, not this long.

[8:49] I thought...

[8:50] I thought maybe this was a route to popularity, because this was a...

[8:55] No, I honestly did.

[8:56] I had enough foresight to think, like, okay, what is not an oversaturated type of media

[9:02] right now?

[9:03] Podcast.

[9:04] That's, like, totally new, and you can do it from your apartment.

[9:07] So I was like, maybe this is the way that I'll get some sort of semblance of recognition

[9:14] in this cold, cruel world.

Elliott Kalan

[9:16] Said eventual Emmy winner, Dan McCoy.

[9:19] At the time, there were two podcasts.

[9:21] It was just this, and a podcast called, hey, is my mic on?

[9:26] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[9:27] And another podcast called, I'm trying to record a voicemail message.

[9:31] Did I hit the wrong button?

[9:32] Yeah.

[9:33] Yeah.

[9:34] And into that crowded market.

Stuart Wellington

[9:35] And you have to hit the wrong button a bunch of times, because you gotta, you know, put

[9:39] on Libs.

Dan McCoy

[9:40] And even in that market, we were number three.

[9:42] Yep.

Elliott Kalan

[9:43] But now, the podcast market is very crowded and very cluttered, and Dan and Stuart, you

[9:47] guys are like pioneers.

Stuart Wellington

[9:49] Oh, yeah.

[9:50] Early adopters.

[9:51] I mean, Ali, you didn't join up that much later.

Elliott Kalan

[9:54] No, it was...

[9:54] Yeah, we adopted you.

[9:55] Yeah, because he found me on your doorstep, wrapped up in a little bundle.

[9:58] Yeah.

[9:59] Wrapped up in a bundle of Ziggy comics.

[10:01] With a note that said, please take care of my baby.

[10:03] I am leaving him because he's irritating.

[10:09] But yeah, I joined you guys not too long after, but I still, I can't take credit for creating

[10:13] the show or anything.

[10:14] So, what's the premise of...

[10:15] As much as you might want to try.

[10:17] Yep.

[10:17] I keep...

[10:19] I say in my bio, it always has parentheses, creator, the flop house.

[10:24] And then Dan and Stuart sue me, and I've got to take it out.

[10:26] And once Tyler, the creator, sued me.

[10:29] Yeah, that was weird.

[10:30] I mean, he just claims to create everything.

Stuart Wellington

[10:33] Which would make him God.

[10:34] Yep.

[10:35] I think that's implied.

[10:36] Oh, okay.

[10:37] Part of the name.

[10:39] So, what do we do on this show?

[10:41] Oh, yeah.

[10:42] What have we been doing for 10 years?

Dan McCoy

[10:43] Other than clapping ourselves in the back for...

Elliott Kalan

[10:45] For not dying.

[10:47] Not dying.

[10:47] Yeah.

[10:47] For persisting.

[10:48] Yeah, because you know what, Dan?

[10:49] Mitch McConnell tried to shut us down, and yet we persisted.

[10:52] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[10:53] It took us like five years to come up with an actual schedule, too.

[10:56] That's true.

[10:57] That's what was great.

[10:57] It used to be like a week Dan would text me, and now they'd be like, oh, we should record.

Elliott Kalan

[11:03] It's been a while since we recorded.

[11:04] Are you guys free tomorrow?

[11:06] Yeah, it took a long time for we were like, wait a minute.

[11:08] Wait a minute.

[11:08] If we plan it ahead of time, we can make sure our schedules are free.

Dan McCoy

[11:14] Yeah.

[11:15] We can look ahead to time.

[11:16] Something that I assume cavemen discovered.

[11:19] Yep.

[11:20] This afternoon, let's go out and hunt bison.

Elliott Kalan

[11:24] Yeah, because I think cavemen had the concept of noon down.

[11:29] All right.

[11:30] Yeah, yeah.

[11:31] Cavemen were like, hey, when we're done with brunch, because it's Sunday, why don't we go

[11:36] hunt some bison?

[11:38] Yeah.

[11:38] Or mammoths or manics, as they would be called in 10,000 BC.

[11:41] Yeah.

[11:41] 10,000, not the number of years we've done this show.

[11:43] That's 1,000 times the number.

[11:45] But Dan, for the 10th anniversary, we decided to do a special movie.

[11:48] Not your regular run-of-the-mill, big budget, recent Hollywood flop buster.

[11:53] Now, there are a lot of things that were discussed.

[11:55] Or like schlock buster.

Dan McCoy

[11:57] Uh-huh.

[11:58] Or?

[11:59] Cock slobler.

[12:00] Right?

[12:02] We talked about a lot of things.

[12:04] A lot of ideas were tossed around.

[12:05] We talked about doing Stealth again, which was our very first movie.

[12:09] Well, definitely.

[12:10] And Elliot didn't.

Stuart Wellington

[12:11] The feedback from the listeners pointed that we should watch a movie.

[12:14] Yeah.

[12:15] The feedback from the listeners was all over the place.

Elliott Kalan

[12:18] To be honest, disappointed me.

[12:19] A poll was taken, and it was a very extensive poll.

[12:22] And I thank the people who took the poll.

[12:24] It was not us.

[12:25] There were people on the Facebook group who did it.

[12:27] And if I remembered their names, I'd thank them by name.

[12:30] And they would ask, should the Flophouse do this?

[12:32] Should they do this?

[12:33] Should they do this?

[12:34] And the overwhelming answer to almost everyone was, no, they shouldn't do that.

[12:37] So it was very difficult to get an answer.

[12:40] So we decided, 10 years, let's look back into history and see a movie that holds a special

[12:45] place in the popular consciousness of bad movies.

[12:49] A movie that, at this point, it might be hard for the young people of today to realize

[12:54] that there was a time when this movie was literally the only word you had to say for the concept

[13:01] bad movie.

[13:01] There was a time when this movie was considered the nadir of filmmaking.

Stuart Wellington

[13:05] I just want to say that the survey was compiled by Megan Tripp.

Dan McCoy

[13:11] Thank you very much.

[13:12] Thank you for putting all that work in that we didn't ultimately use, unfortunately.

[13:17] No, we kind of used it.

Elliott Kalan

[13:17] I mean, we had some ideas that the poll steered us away from.

[13:21] Yeah, that's true.

[13:22] But so, Dan, what movie did we decide was so epic, such a monument in the world of bad

[13:28] movies that we had to watch it for the 10th anniversary?

[13:31] And I say this knowing we announced it at the beginning of the movie, and it's also in

[13:35] the directory of episodes, so they know what movie it is.

Stuart Wellington

[13:38] We're assuming.

[13:39] Dan might switch it up and write like 10th anniversary floptacular.

Elliott Kalan

[13:43] Yeah, yeah, or like secret special movie thing.

[13:45] But we did announce it at the beginning.

[13:46] Dan, what was that movie?

[13:51] Survey says.

Dan McCoy

[13:52] The garage pail, garbage pail kids.

Elliott Kalan

[13:55] I fucked up even the joke I was going for.

[13:59] No, I'm interested in the garage pail kids.

[14:01] So it is a pail full of garages?

[14:04] Yeah.

[14:04] Or it's just a pail someone left in a garage?

[14:07] Because I have to say, every garage in America has one random old pail in it.

[14:11] The kids live in the pail, or do they find the pail?

[14:14] Is it a magic pail, or does it have like a microchip in it that the government is after?

Stuart Wellington

[14:18] I just thought for a second that garage was the British pronunciation of garbage.

Elliott Kalan

[14:26] So the garage pail kids is, of course, based on that very popular series of trading cards,

[14:33] which are about kids that found uses for a pail their parents left in the garage.

[14:40] Let me flip through the cards here right now.

[14:43] Oh, ground level basketball hoop.

[14:46] Oh, that's an interesting one.

[14:47] Oh, oh, oh.

[14:49] That's a good one, I like it.

[14:50] Cylindrical home.

[14:51] Semi-cylindrical home for an action figure.

[14:54] Oh, great.

[14:54] Okay, here's one.

[14:57] Sandcastle maker.

[14:59] These cards have lackly irreverence on certain other cards.

[15:03] Bozo the Clown Super Show.

[15:05] Ball catcher.

[15:07] Game ball catcher.

Stuart Wellington

[15:08] Last minute cereal bowl.

Elliott Kalan

[15:13] That's going to be pretty last minute.

[15:15] That's a huge bowl of cereal, though.

Stuart Wellington

[15:17] Oh, I like it.

[15:17] I like a lot of rice chicks.

[15:21] No, we...

Elliott Kalan

[15:21] So we did not watch the garage pail kids or the garbage pail kids.

Dan McCoy

[15:24] We watched Ishtar, which has the distinction of being post-Plan 9 from outer space, pre-The Room, the go-to bad movie reference.

Elliott Kalan

[15:38] It feels like...

[15:39] So let me take you back to the late 80s, early 90s.

[15:42] You guys were kids during that time, so as I was a kid.

[15:44] And there were a couple things that were just taken for granted by popular culture as a whole.

[15:52] Disco sucked, which has since rightfully been overturned.

[15:58] I guess the cultural Supreme Court looked back at that case and overturned the case of disco v. good.

[16:05] Yeah.

[16:05] And they turned out like, oh no, there's a lot of good disco songs.

[16:08] And Ishtar is a piece of crap.

[16:11] And it was just like, if you...

[16:12] The way that you showed someone was wrong or dumb or had bad taste in popular culture was you had them either listening to disco or dressing in disco clothes or you had them talking about Ishtar.

[16:23] And it was just taken for granted.

[16:24] Like as a kid, I never saw Ishtar.

[16:26] This was the first time I ever saw it.

[16:28] But as a kid, somehow it filtered down to me as someone who wasn't reading the trades and wasn't watching grown-up movies.

[16:35] I remember my parents went to go see Crimes and Misdemeanors, and I thought it was about the cop's character, Misdemeanor.

[16:41] That I didn't know what Ishtar was, but somehow...

[16:43] That's fucking awesome.

[16:45] It would be an amazing movie, right?

[16:46] Yeah.

[16:47] Somehow it filtered down to me, a kid, that Ishtar was the worst movie that there ever was.

Stuart Wellington

[16:52] I mean, I did make my mom explain to me the Farside strip where...

[16:56] The Hell's Video Store?

[16:58] The Hell's Video Store and all the videos are Ishtar, which apparently since making that, Gary Larson had not actually seen Ishtar.

[17:06] And since making that strip, he saw it on a plane and was like, this is pretty good.

[17:11] And so he wrote a redirection.

Dan McCoy

[17:13] Yeah, well, the thing is, I was going to say, Ishtar has gone through its own reappraisal, in part because people are like, Elaine May made it.

[17:21] She can't make anything bad.

[17:23] She's part of Nichols and May.

[17:25] She made The Heartbreak Kid and other films of note.

[17:30] A New Leaf.

Elliott Kalan

[17:32] Yeah.

[17:32] She's written on lots of great stuff.

[17:34] Yeah.

[17:34] But she hasn't directed anything since Ishtar.

[17:38] And the...

[17:40] But it's just like, there's been this reappraisal.

[17:42] So, when we were young, Ishtar was just taken for granted.

[17:45] Bad movie.

[17:46] To the point that when Waterworld came out ten years later, they were like, calling it Fishtar.

[17:54] And it's like, one, Waterworld's not that bad either.

[17:57] Wait.

Stuart Wellington

[17:58] Is it because a fish lives in the water?

Elliott Kalan

[18:02] You cracked that code.

[18:05] He's a professor of symbiology.

[18:07] I guess you used your Turing machine to crack that one.

[18:11] So, people are like...

[18:13] But there's every movie that's bad, you find at some point a reappraisal where people are like, actually, it's quite good.

[18:19] So, we decided...

Stuart Wellington

[18:20] The Star Wars prequels are just misunderstood.

[18:23] It's...

Elliott Kalan

[18:23] All the rhyming in them.

[18:24] What's great about it is every shot in it repeats a shot from the original series, but with the thrills and emotion removed.

[18:32] So, I guess what they're saying to you is, why did you enjoy the first ones?

[18:36] And in forcing you to reappraise the first movies and assume that the second movies are just as good or better because they're exactly the same but without the fun stuff, it's really messing with your head.

[18:46] And that's what Star Wars is all about.

[18:48] Messing with your head.

Dan McCoy

[18:49] I love that we're all doing kind of like a third party, but we're still talking a little bit like George Lucas when we're doing it.

Elliott Kalan

[18:55] The magic of myth is that I can repeat all my old work, but without the creative inspiration.

[19:01] That sounded a little bit more like Jim Henson, actually.

[19:04] So, Ishtar.

[19:06] Yeah.

[19:07] Considered...

[19:07] It holds this monumental place in the American consciousness for a while, at least.

[19:11] The room, I feel like, has overtaken it somewhat.

[19:14] Plan 9 has overtaken it.

[19:15] Ishtar's not what it once was in terms of people using it as a go-to reference.

[19:19] But then it was reappraised by people.

[19:20] So, it's up to us, the Flophouse, to settle this case once and for all in what we can only call...

[19:26] What?

[19:28] Movie court.

[19:28] Oh.

[19:29] Bum, bum, bum.

[19:30] Tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a.

[19:32] Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

[19:34] The plaintiff.

[19:36] America.

[19:37] America, okay.

[19:38] The defendant.

[19:39] Ishtar.

[19:39] Okay.

[19:40] A 1987 film directed by Elaine May starring Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty.

[19:44] America says that this movie is really bad, but some America says the movie is not that bad.

[19:49] Ishtar says, hey, I'm just a move me.

[19:51] Movie, leave me alone.

[19:53] A move me.

[19:53] A move me, too.

[19:55] Will it move me?

[19:57] And you and you?

[19:58] The judges on Flophouse movie court?

[20:00] Judge Flophouse presiding.

[20:02] Dun, dun, dun, dun.

[20:05] Dun, dun, dun, dun.

Stuart Wellington

[20:06] Okay.

[20:07] I want a clean fight.

[20:07] No punching above the belt.

[20:09] Okay.

[20:09] You're mixing metaphors.

[20:11] It's not a courtroom.

[20:11] Only punches below the belt, please.

Elliott Kalan

[20:13] This is, welcome to the heavyweight crotch punching match.

Stuart Wellington

[20:18] Butts and crotches.

Dan McCoy

[20:19] Now, is this a night court?

[20:20] Is this a night court?

[20:21] Can we do crazy magic tricks and talk about Mel Torme?

[20:27] No, it's a food court.

Stuart Wellington

[20:29] Crazy magic tricks.

Elliott Kalan

[20:31] Yeah, he wasn't Doctor Strange or Baron Mordo.

[20:34] Yeah.

[20:35] Yep.

[20:35] No, this is a food court, so we can only eat kind of crappy pizza and lukewarm, greasy Chinese food.

[20:41] All right.

[20:43] So, Ishtar.

Dan McCoy

[20:44] So, Ishtar.

[20:45] It's a movie about two guys.

[20:47] One of them is named Warren Beatty.

[20:49] Another.

[20:50] And one of them is named Dustin Hoffman.

[20:52] The characters are not named that.

Elliott Kalan

[20:53] The movie begins with a smash cut, guys.

[20:55] Does it begin with a smash cut?

[20:57] No, it doesn't.

[20:57] It almost does.

[20:58] It begins with them.

Stuart Wellington

[20:59] Our two leads singing a song over credits.

Elliott Kalan

[21:01] Over the opening credits.

[21:02] The opposite of a smash cut in that the audio is preparing us for what we're about to see.

[21:08] So, Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty are two aspiring songwriters.

[21:13] They are not very good.

[21:15] And Warren Beatty is kind of a big dumb lug who's very unsure of himself.

[21:20] And Dustin Hoffman is kind of thinks of himself as a smooth ladies man.

[21:24] And I read a number of times.

[21:26] It's the first time I've talked about how, like, the two characters were playing against type.

[21:30] But they're not really.

[21:31] Because it's not like Dustin Hoffman was known for playing dumb guys in movies.

[21:35] And it's not like Warren Beatty was known for playing, like, idiots who think that they're genius.

[21:42] Like, think that they're, they got all figured out.

Stuart Wellington

[21:44] Warren's playing, like, a dumber version of his character from Midnight Cowboy, right?

Elliott Kalan

[21:50] Um, I get, in, in, like, a, a more respectable one.

[21:54] I mean, his character in Midnight Cowboy is effectively, uh, like a street person.

[21:58] Yeah.

[22:00] Uh, whereas here he's just a bad songwriter who thinks he's going to get to the top of his game.

[22:04] And we follow the two of them as they're trying to strike it big in New York.

[22:08] They're not very good singers.

[22:09] They want to be songwriters.

[22:10] But it's their agent, they get a cut rate agent, advises them that they should sing songs that people already know and put together, like, a stage act with patter.

[22:19] Yeah.

[22:19] And I love, he's like, you gotta, here's what, you're missing patter.

[22:22] You gotta have jokes.

[22:23] And it's like, was that what the big musical acts were doing in 1987?

[22:27] Like, they had a stage act full of patter and jokes?

[22:29] Is that what, like, Van Halen was doing?

[22:32] Yeah.

[22:32] Were they known for their patter?

Stuart Wellington

[22:33] I mean, I think they were clearly aiming for a more old-fashioned thing.

[22:39] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[22:39] And their agent was a more old-fashioned guy.

[22:43] Yeah.

[22:43] But they, like, were looking at albums on the, uh, they were looking at, like, albums in the display window.

[22:49] And you've got, like, Talking Heads true stories on the side.

[22:52] And it's like, David Byrne was not known for his crazy, joke-em-up patter.

Elliott Kalan

[22:56] No, I mean, the big suit was kind of funny.

[22:58] Yeah.

[22:59] And he'd do that whole routine.

[23:00] I don't think it appears and stop making sense.

[23:01] They cut it out where he'd be like, hey, guys.

[23:04] Either, either this shoots, this suit's growing or I'm shrinking.

Stuart Wellington

[23:09] Yeah.

[23:09] And then he's like, I hope there's no SJWs out there.

[23:13] This is not a safe space.

[23:15] Wait, what?

[23:17] Yeah, he's a real bad boy when he's on stage.

Elliott Kalan

[23:19] He was bad boy David Byrne.

Dan McCoy

[23:22] There's a lot of, but we skipped over just the fact that there's just a lot of, uh, montages of them coming up with song lyrics.

Stuart Wellington

[23:31] And I thought you were saying we forgot to talk about the most important thing, Dan, which is we see a shot of old-timey big CD long boxes in a display window.

[23:40] And, like, my eyes almost popped out of my head.

[23:43] So much wasted packaging.

Dan McCoy

[23:45] Yeah.

[23:45] But go on, Dan.

[23:46] No, no.

[23:46] There's just, like, a lot of montages of them coming up with song lyrics and singing terrible songs.

Elliott Kalan

[23:52] And wearing crazy shirts.

[23:54] Yeah.

[23:54] What is going on?

[23:55] They're always wearing, like, kimonos or weird, like, uh.

[23:59] Matching head bands.

[24:00] Yeah.

[24:00] It's like, they're, it feels like two old guys who are, like, trying to make fun of how people, how cool people dress in the 80s, but they don't really know how cool people dress in the 80s.

[24:12] Like, it's, it's this very weird, like, kind of out-of-touch parody of what you imagine, like, Michael J. Fox would be wearing in a movie from that time.

[24:21] Uh, but they look amazing.

Stuart Wellington

[24:24] Yeah.

[24:24] And how, how old are they supposed to be?

[24:27] Because they look really old.

Elliott Kalan

[24:29] They look, I think, older than they actually are.

[24:31] Like, they're, they're both, I think they were both in their 40s when they made this movie.

[24:34] Okay.

[24:34] And the characters, I'm not sure, because it's mentioned at one point, their agent says, you're not young.

[24:39] And so it's like, I think they are supposed to be, like, a little too old to be holding onto this dream, but they seem much too old.

Stuart Wellington

[24:44] So is it like when you, when you dress like an old guy in young people's clothes, like, I don't know, like a tight t-shirt and a beanie with a propeller on it?

Elliott Kalan

[24:54] It just makes that way older.

[24:55] Yeah, yeah.

[24:56] To the point where at point, there were times where it was like, is the dancing Six Flags guy the star of this movie?

[25:02] Because they look very old.

Dan McCoy

[25:04] At what point in history did kids actually wear beanies with propellers on them?

[25:07] That's what I want to know.

[25:08] Like, that is a universal signifier for a small child.

Elliott Kalan

[25:11] Maybe when the helicopter was first invented.

Dan McCoy

[25:13] It's like, here, here, to commemorate this engineering marvel, here, have this hat.

[25:19] I mean, did they ever really eat giant lollies, too?

Stuart Wellington

[25:23] I mean, go to Six Flags, dude.

Elliott Kalan

[25:25] I would, except that scary old dancing man is there.

[25:27] Go to the, now.

[25:28] We're telling you to go to Six Flags.

Stuart Wellington

[25:29] Okay, I mean, it's probably closed.

[25:31] It's the middle of the night.

Elliott Kalan

[25:31] God damn it, Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[25:33] You don't do late night rides anymore?

Elliott Kalan

[25:35] I mean, I don't know.

[25:36] I guess I'll have to find out and go now.

[25:37] That sounds so dangerous.

[25:38] Why would you go?

[25:39] Oh, they turn all the lights off, and they just let the roller coasters run on their own,

[25:43] and you have to leap onto them and ride them and then leap off again.

[25:46] And it's called Suicide Flags Great Adventure.

[25:50] Perfect.

Stuart Wellington

[25:50] And that's tied in with DC's Suicide Squad.

[25:53] Yeah, yeah.

[25:53] Because of marketing it.

[25:54] Yeah, because Warner Brothers has a deal with Six Flags.

Elliott Kalan

[25:57] So, damn, that's why they have Batman the Ride, Prez the Ride,

[26:01] Brother Power the Geek, the Ride.

[26:02] Prez the Ride.

[26:04] That's why they have Ragman the Ride.

[26:08] Mm-hmm.

[26:10] Doom Patrol the Ride.

[26:12] It's called Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol the Ride,

[26:14] even though he didn't even create Doom Patrol.

[26:16] Captain Carrot, the Ride.

[26:18] And the Amazing Zoo Crew, yeah.

[26:19] Yeah, exactly.

[26:20] The Ride.

[26:21] It's called Captain Carrot the Ride and the Amazing Zoo Crew the Ride.

[26:23] It's just one ride, but they put Ride in there twice.

Stuart Wellington

[26:25] Captain Carrot's a rabbit, right?

[26:28] Mm-hmm.

[26:28] You better believe it.

[26:29] Is there ever a crossover with him and Flaming Carrot?

Elliott Kalan

[26:33] I don't think so.

[26:34] I don't think they do along.

[26:35] But it'd be pretty amazing.

[26:37] Go on, Dan.

[26:38] Oh, so, okay.

[26:38] So, I'll go along.

[26:39] Yeah.

[26:40] So, here's the point I want to make on this movie.

[26:42] So, the first, like, half hour of this movie,

[26:44] they are in New York, and they're struggling songwriters,

[26:47] and they can't get it going.

[26:49] And there's a lot of montages, like you said,

[26:50] of them trying and failing and singing songs

[26:53] that feel like they're kind of semi-improvised.

[26:55] And watching this movie and those sequences,

[26:57] it was like, oh, like, I'm looking at the future of film comedy

[27:01] 20 years early, but they don't know it.

[27:05] Like, movies about two dumb idiot men

[27:08] who are deliberately really stupid and bad at what they're doing,

[27:12] and the joke is that they have total confidence,

[27:14] but they're very bad at it.

[27:15] Yeah.

[27:15] And, like, that they're just, like, looking at the camera,

[27:19] because they're looking at the audience

[27:21] just singing deliberately bad songs in a bad way.

[27:23] Like, I'm watching Will Ferrell's career.

[27:25] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:25] And they're providing 10 options for the movie,

[27:28] and the movie decides to air all 10.

Elliott Kalan

[27:31] Yeah, just to cut quickly between all different options

[27:33] instead of picking the best one.

[27:34] Yeah.

[27:35] Like, that is the most forward-looking piece of 80s comedy

[27:40] I can imagine.

Stuart Wellington

[27:41] Yeah, you're seeing Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.

[27:43] And, I mean, Warren Beatty, kind of a John C. Reilly type.

[27:47] In this movie, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[27:47] Two classically handsome muscle boys.

[27:50] Okay.

[27:51] Both with clown training.

[27:52] Yep.

[27:53] But, like, this, the kind of, like, Will Ferrell

[27:56] or, like, Kristen Wiig style,

[27:58] I feel like you're seeing it aborning here.

[28:01] And if the movie had continued in that fashion,

[28:03] it might have been kind of, like,

[28:05] an interesting experimental misfire for me.

[28:08] The jokes are not quite there.

[28:09] It would be like, oh, this is this kind of fetal development

[28:12] of a new kind of film comedy.

[28:15] That, like, it's not improv the way Robert Altman

[28:18] would have people improv in a movie,

[28:19] and it's not built of scenes.

[28:22] It's built of, like, individual jokes

[28:23] that we cut between really quickly

[28:25] to get, like, so it's, like,

[28:27] bam, bam, like a menu of jokes

[28:29] rather than a scene.

Stuart Wellington

[28:31] And there's a lot of,

[28:32] I feel part of those performances

[28:34] is one of the things that doesn't work for me

[28:37] is how much time it lingers on audience reactions

[28:40] and the audience reactions being

[28:42] basically just bored.

Elliott Kalan

[28:45] Yeah, or, like, every now and then

[28:46] there's someone in the background

[28:47] who looks shocked, and you're like,

[28:48] they're not so bad that you should be shocked.

[28:50] Like, come on.

Dan McCoy

[28:51] I mean, it's that one joke from the producers

[28:53] done over and over again

[28:54] when they cut from Springtime for Hitler

[28:56] from the first time,

[28:57] and the whole audience has the exact same

[28:59] shocked expression on their face.

[29:01] And that works because it's, like,

[29:02] it's a very quick joke.

Elliott Kalan

[29:04] And you've also seen an entire musical number

[29:06] about Hitler up to that point.

[29:09] So, like, their shock is earned.

[29:12] Yeah.

[29:13] And so, like, you're like,

[29:14] there is also,

[29:15] and that musical number is not just bad,

[29:17] like, it's not just like a,

[29:19] these are just, like, bad songs.

[29:20] That musical number is so tastelessly,

[29:22] like, perverse.

[29:25] Where the women,

[29:26] the women with, like,

[29:27] Nazi eagles over their breasts and things,

[29:29] like, that shock is earned.

[29:30] Whereas this is just like,

[29:32] if you go to, like,

[29:33] they're at an open mic song thing,

[29:35] like, the audience should not be shocked

[29:36] by a bad song being put up.

[29:39] Yeah.

[29:40] Yeah, what do they expect?

[29:41] Like, if they went,

[29:42] if it was, like,

[29:43] Paul McCartney,

[29:43] One Night Only,

[29:44] and Paul McCartney came out

[29:45] and performed like those guys,

[29:47] I could understand a stadium of shock.

[29:49] Because Paul McCartney

[29:50] is one of the greatest live performers

[29:52] there is.

Stuart Wellington

[29:54] Or whoever's impersonating Paul McCartney

[29:56] now that he died years ago.

[29:57] Yeah, yeah,

[29:58] in that car accident, yeah,

Elliott Kalan

[29:59] as the song says.

[30:00] I saw Paul McCartney a few years ago,

[30:02] and he was, I think,

[30:03] already in his 70s,

[30:05] and I was getting tired

[30:06] watching his show,

[30:07] and, like, two hours in,

[30:08] he goes off stage,

[30:09] and I was like,

[30:09] oh, yeah,

[30:09] he must be exhausted.

[30:10] And then suddenly he runs on stage

[30:12] waving an enormous American flag,

[30:14] just running back and forth,

[30:16] waving it,

[30:16] and the audience is cheering,

[30:17] and I was like,

[30:18] how does this guy have the energy

[30:19] to do that?

[30:21] Like, what battery

[30:22] did they hook him up to

[30:23] when he walked off stage

[30:24] that he can do that now?

[30:25] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:26] But so, but,

[30:27] so this, so.

[30:28] I just imagine,

[30:28] like, you walk off stage,

[30:29] and he has, like,

[30:31] like, 12, like,

[30:33] 14-year-old kids

[30:35] that he's just transfusing blood from.

[30:37] Or it's like,

[30:38] it's just,

[30:38] it's like the end of the prestige

[30:39] that he,

Elliott Kalan

[30:40] he crumples and dies,

[30:42] and then they break

[30:43] and open another canister

[30:44] and another McCartney comes out.

[30:46] Spoiler for the prestige.

[30:48] Paul McCartney's great in it.

[30:50] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[30:51] He's not even the rock star

[30:52] that's in it.

[30:54] So, so for those scenes,

[30:56] this movie is pointing

[30:57] a direction for comedy

[30:58] that it's not my favorite

[30:59] type of comedy,

[31:00] but it's like,

[31:00] this movie's ahead of its time.

[31:02] And then it takes a.

[31:03] And I know,

Stuart Wellington

[31:03] and I, I mean,

[31:04] I like what it's,

[31:05] I like that it's trying

[31:06] to do something.

[31:07] Yeah.

[31:07] But for some reason,

[31:08] it like,

[31:09] it feels so,

[31:11] like,

[31:11] it doesn't work for me.

[31:13] And I think,

[31:13] like,

[31:14] I feel like the characters

[31:14] aren't really established.

[31:16] I don't know if it's because

[31:17] I do,

[31:18] like,

[31:19] I have trouble buying

[31:20] Dustin Hoffman

[31:21] and Warren Beatty

[31:22] as a couple of,

[31:23] like,

[31:23] bumbling doofuses.

[31:25] I don't know if it's because

[31:26] I've seen them in so many

[31:27] other movies.

[31:28] I mean,

[31:28] it might be.

[31:29] But like,

[31:30] you could.

[31:30] Like,

[31:30] character choices are,

Elliott Kalan

[31:31] for the most part,

[31:33] pretty soft.

[31:34] You've seen Dustin Hoffman

[31:35] in lots of movies,

[31:35] but you could buy him as

[31:37] an autistic person

[31:38] in Rain Man.

[31:39] Yeah.

[31:39] Like,

[31:40] this,

[31:40] they're just,

[31:40] they don't know how to play

[31:41] these characters.

[31:42] They're not,

[31:43] they're either,

[31:43] they're at alternating moments,

[31:45] they're either not committing enough

[31:46] or they're playing the characters

[31:47] too serious

[31:48] and not funny.

Stuart Wellington

[31:49] Warren Beatty's accent

[31:50] gets significantly more,

[31:51] like,

[31:52] country.

[31:53] Yeah,

[31:53] corn pone throughout.

[31:54] Also,

[31:54] this movie,

[31:55] commits the crime

Dan McCoy

[31:57] of bringing in Carol.

[31:58] Of murder.

[31:59] I'm sorry,

[31:59] those twilights on the movie.

[32:00] Yes?

[32:00] Bringing in Carol Kane

[32:02] for basically a scene.

Elliott Kalan

[32:04] Yeah,

[32:04] but you know what other movie

[32:05] does that?

[32:05] Annie Hall.

[32:06] Yeah.

[32:07] And that's an amazing movie.

Stuart Wellington

[32:09] But I guess,

[32:09] and the woman who played,

[32:11] I had to look her up,

[32:12] but the woman who played

[32:14] Warren Beatty's ex-wife

[32:17] or eventual ex-wife

[32:19] in this movie

[32:19] has been in a bunch of stuff too.

[32:22] And like,

[32:23] she was Jesse Pinkman's mom

[32:24] and Breaking Bad.

[32:26] No,

[32:26] I didn't realize that.

Elliott Kalan

[32:27] And a bunch of other stuff.

[32:27] Dan,

[32:28] I apologize.

[32:28] Carol Kane is in two scenes

[32:29] in Annie Hall.

[32:30] There's the scene

[32:30] where he picks her up

[32:31] and the scene

[32:31] where they break up

[32:32] because he's obsessed

[32:33] with the JFK assassin.

Dan McCoy

[32:34] I'm just saying that

[32:34] Carol Kane is an amazing

[32:36] comic actress.

[32:37] Oh,

[32:37] yeah.

[32:37] And they like,

[32:38] give her nothing to do

[32:39] in this movie whatsoever.

Elliott Kalan

[32:40] Charles Grodin's in this movie

[32:42] in a big part

[32:43] and they barely give him

[32:44] anything to do.

[32:44] Can you imagine

Stuart Wellington

[32:44] being Carol Kane

[32:46] and having to watch

[32:50] fumble through comic shit

[32:52] and be like,

[32:53] they're the fucking stars

Elliott Kalan

[32:55] of this movie?

[32:56] She's like,

[32:56] I was in Hester Street.

[32:58] Hester Street,

[32:59] for God's sakes.

[33:01] He's really good in that.

[33:03] So,

[33:03] yeah,

[33:03] Carol Kane,

[33:04] they could have used more.

[33:05] Frankly,

[33:05] I'll skip forward

[33:08] a little bit.

[33:09] Yeah,

[33:09] please.

[33:10] So,

[33:10] the movie takes a big turn

[33:11] and becomes an 80s action comedy,

[33:14] a par non-excellence,

[33:16] where,

[33:17] but I will say,

[33:17] where they get mixed up

[33:18] with Isabella Johnny,

[33:19] who I'm a huge fan of,

[33:20] but if Carol Kane

[33:21] had played the Isabella Johnny part,

[33:23] it would have been so funny.

[33:25] Neither of them is Arab,

[33:27] so the fact that they're,

[33:28] that it's supposed to be,

[33:29] I guess,

[33:29] a Middle Eastern character

[33:30] wouldn't matter either way.

[33:31] Can you imagine

[33:32] if Carol Kane was the like,

[33:34] well,

[33:34] we'll talk about that part.

[33:35] Anyway,

[33:35] so,

[33:36] they get,

[33:37] their agent books them,

[33:38] he gives them a choice,

[33:38] they can either play Honduras

[33:39] or they can play Morocco.

[33:41] They decide

[33:42] they'd rather go play Morocco.

[33:44] On the way,

[33:45] they have to pass through

[33:46] the fictional dictatorship

[33:48] of Ishtar,

[33:49] which is on the verge

[33:50] of a civil war

[33:51] as its imperious dictator

[33:53] is being challenged

[33:55] by a rebel,

[33:56] you know,

[33:56] leftist liberation army.

[33:59] While in the airport

[34:00] in Ishtar

[34:00] awaiting their,

[34:02] it's not a,

[34:02] is it a connecting flight?

[34:04] Like,

[34:04] they're looking for somebody,

[34:05] I don't know.

[34:06] They have to fly out of the Canary Islands

[34:07] for some reason.

[34:08] How they get to the Canary Islands

[34:09] is never explained.

[34:11] I assume an airplane from New York.

[34:13] Yeah.

[34:13] While they're there,

[34:14] while Warren Beatty

[34:15] goes off to find some help

[34:16] and Dustin Hoffman

[34:18] is accosted by what he thinks

[34:19] is a boy

[34:20] in native garb.

[34:22] And now this movie,

[34:23] these airport scenes,

[34:24] I think they're supposed

[34:25] to look really chaotic

[34:26] and exotic,

[34:27] but they just look like

[34:28] an airport.

[34:29] Like,

[34:30] there's nothing particular,

[34:31] like,

[34:32] Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty

[34:33] look so flustered.

[34:33] You've been living in New York

Stuart Wellington

[34:34] too long,

[34:35] buddy.

[34:36] What?

[34:36] You're too used to the crowds

[34:38] and the hustle and bustle

[34:39] of the city.

Elliott Kalan

[34:40] But these guys are from New York too.

[34:41] Oh yeah.

[34:42] But it's like,

[34:43] they're supposed to be,

[34:43] they're like super,

[34:44] uh,

[34:44] I don't know what to do,

[34:45] but it's just an airport.

[34:46] But anyway,

[34:47] he's accosted by what he thinks

[34:48] is a boy until she lifts up

[34:50] her shirt and shows him

[34:51] a naked boob,

[34:52] which.

[34:53] Wait,

[34:53] did that happen?

[34:54] Yeah,

[34:54] you missed that part?

[34:55] Oh Jesus.

[34:56] It's like a half,

[34:57] uh,

[34:58] she's all that,

[34:59] no,

[34:59] she's all that.

[35:00] That sounds so sad.

[35:01] A half just one of the guys.

[35:02] Can I get you another drink?

[35:03] I feel like I missed the only thing

[35:05] that would have made this movie

[35:05] worthwhile.

[35:06] For you,

[35:07] uh,

[35:08] yeah,

[35:08] and you did miss it.

[35:09] And anyway,

[35:10] and he's immediately like,

[35:11] go,

[35:12] go home.

[35:13] She says,

[35:14] oh,

[35:14] I'm sorry.

[35:16] It's like wraparound shades

Stuart Wellington

[35:16] almost flew off his head.

Elliott Kalan

[35:17] Oh,

[35:17] I skipped the scene.

[35:18] Did his tongue roll out

[35:19] like a big,

[35:20] big bad wolf?

[35:21] Yeah,

[35:21] yeah.

[35:22] And his eyes turned into

[35:23] steam whistles like at a factory.

[35:24] Yeah.

[35:25] And,

[35:26] uh,

[35:26] so I apologize.

[35:27] And he turned into a rocket

[35:28] and blasted off.

[35:29] Before this,

[35:30] there's a scene I skipped

[35:30] where some,

[35:31] this is where you know

[35:32] an 80s movie comedy

[35:33] is going wrong.

[35:35] You cut to a scene

[35:36] in the desert

[35:37] where archaeologists

[35:38] are discovering

[35:38] an ancient artifact.

[35:40] Not a good idea

[35:41] because we're being introduced

[35:42] to the thriller plot aspect.

[35:44] And for some reason,

[35:46] it seems like

[35:46] 85% of comedies

[35:48] from the 80s

[35:49] felt they needed

[35:50] to have an action chase plot

[35:51] when you really just want

[35:53] to see people doing funny stuff

[35:54] and being funny.

[35:55] Yeah.

[35:55] Like,

[35:56] you know how many times

[35:56] this worked well?

[35:58] How many times

[35:58] do you think,

[35:59] Dan?

[36:00] Uh,

[36:00] Ghostbusters?

[36:02] I'm thinking specifically

[36:03] with like an exotic travel plot

[36:04] where there's like a MacGuffin

[36:05] people are chasing after.

[36:06] Oh,

[36:06] okay.

[36:07] Uh,

[36:08] here's a hint.

[36:09] It's one of your favorite movies.

Dan McCoy

[36:10] North by Northwest?

[36:11] I'm talking about the 80s.

[36:12] Not exactly,

[36:13] okay.

[36:14] 1980s.

[36:15] Uh,

[36:15] exotic MacGuffin

[36:17] and it's funny.

[36:18] In an exotic foreign country.

[36:19] Uh-huh.

[36:20] It's a comedy.

Elliott Kalan

[36:21] Romancing the Stone.

[36:22] Yes,

[36:22] Romancing the Stone.

[36:23] Okay,

[36:23] took you a few choices.

[36:25] Took you a few guesses

[36:26] but you got to a movie

[36:27] that a few days ago

[36:28] you told me

[36:28] is one of your favorite movies.

[36:31] I mean,

[36:31] it's,

[36:31] it's a great movie,

[36:33] Elliot.

[36:33] It's really good.

[36:34] But for every Romancing the Stone,

[36:36] which is,

[36:36] there's just one,

[36:37] there are like a thousand.

[36:39] It's the same way

[36:40] that like whenever

[36:41] in,

[36:41] on TV.

[36:42] Yeah,

Stuart Wellington

[36:42] somebody tries to sell you

[36:43] a second Romancing the Stone.

Elliott Kalan

[36:44] It's called Jewel of the Nile.

[36:45] Don't buy it.

[36:48] It's,

[36:48] uh,

[36:49] it's just like how

[36:50] in the 80s

[36:50] they would do these TV movies

[36:52] or special episodes

[36:53] where sitcoms

[36:54] would go to other countries

[36:55] and they'd always get mixed up

[36:57] with either spies

[36:58] or drugs

[36:59] and it'd be like,

[37:00] why are the perfect strangers

[37:01] getting mixed up with drugs?

[37:03] Why are the family tieses

[37:04] getting mixed up with spies?

[37:06] There's no,

[37:06] or like diamond smugglers.

[37:08] There's no reason for this.

[37:09] Yeah.

[37:10] For some reason,

[37:10] 80s comedies

[37:11] always felt like they had to,

[37:13] and not always,

[37:13] there are movies like Moonstruck

[37:15] that don't do this,

[37:16] but like,

[37:16] they often felt like

[37:17] they had to go to a foreign country

[37:18] and get involved in

[37:19] political or criminal intrigue.

Stuart Wellington

[37:21] Or like,

[37:22] if it looks good,

[37:22] kill,

[37:22] where a high school student

[37:23] gets mistaken for a secret agent.

[37:26] Probably because he looks like

[37:27] he's like 45.

Elliott Kalan

[37:30] So anyway,

[37:31] this guy,

[37:32] this archaeologist

[37:33] finds an artifact

[37:34] that appears to be

[37:35] an ancient map

[37:36] that explains a prophecy

[37:38] that two messengers from God

[37:40] will come along

[37:40] and help overthrow

[37:41] an evil tyrant.

[37:44] He is attacked

[37:45] and they try to steal

[37:46] the map from him.

[37:47] He's already given it

[37:48] to his sister,

[37:49] Isabella Johnny,

[37:50] who,

[37:50] back to where we were,

[37:51] accosted us in Hoffman

[37:52] in the airport

[37:52] and says,

[37:53] give me your passport

[37:54] and let's switch bags.

[37:56] And you take this thing

[37:57] that I have,

[37:57] they're after me.

[37:58] And he agrees to do it

[38:00] pretty easily,

[38:03] I assume,

[38:03] because he saw her boob.

[38:05] Yeah.

[38:05] And that's like,

[38:06] just hypnotized him

[38:07] completely.

[38:09] And like the same way

[38:10] that if she'd given him

[38:11] a blowjob,

[38:12] his eyes would have crossed.

[38:13] Like,

[38:13] it's the 80s,

[38:14] boobs are pretty new.

[38:15] He's like,

[38:16] what?

[38:16] I still have to process

[38:18] what I just saw.

Dan McCoy

[38:18] Well,

[38:19] they used to be pointy,

[38:20] Elliot.

[38:20] That's the thing.

[38:21] In the 50s.

[38:21] The new models came out

[38:24] and they were making men

[38:26] go crazy all over the place.

[38:27] We've got these new things now,

Elliott Kalan

[38:28] round soft boobs,

[38:29] replacing the old pointy boobs.

Dan McCoy

[38:31] Yeah.

[38:32] Those old ones

[38:33] used to take your eye on.

Elliott Kalan

[38:33] And I think we might be getting

[38:34] to the end of the boob talk

[38:36] quotient for this episode.

[38:37] Okay.

[38:37] Stuart,

[38:37] you have something to say about it?

[38:39] You can start writing

[38:39] that 15 second skip button.

Stuart Wellington

[38:42] No,

[38:43] it is,

[38:43] it's one of those things,

[38:44] it's like a lot of scenes

[38:45] in this movie

[38:46] where,

[38:47] like,

[38:48] motivations are kind of unclear

[38:49] and you don't quite know

[38:51] why people are doing

[38:52] what they're doing,

[38:52] which is,

[38:53] I'm just saying

[38:53] the exact same thing

[38:54] over again.

Elliott Kalan

[38:55] But no,

[38:56] but that's true.

[38:56] There's a lot of people

[38:57] doing things,

[38:58] there were a lot of times

[38:58] in the movie

[38:59] when we were like,

[38:59] wait,

[39:00] why are they doing that?

[39:00] And I don't know

[39:01] if like,

Stuart Wellington

[39:02] that's an editing

[39:03] or a performance

[39:05] or a directing

[39:06] or a script problem.

Elliott Kalan

[39:07] I don't know enough

[39:08] about showbiz.

[39:09] I mean,

[39:09] why do we have to pass blame?

[39:11] Let's spread it around.

[39:12] But it's,

[39:14] for whatever reason,

[39:14] Dustin Hoffman agrees,

[39:15] he gives her his passport

[39:16] and his bag.

[39:17] He finds out,

[39:18] he thinks he can just get

[39:19] a new passport right away

[39:20] at the U.S. Embassy

[39:20] and they're like,

[39:21] oh no,

[39:21] we're on the verge

[39:22] of a civil war

[39:23] and we don't have the paperwork

[39:25] and he gets mad.

[39:26] He says,

[39:26] Warren Beatty,

[39:27] we shouldn't miss

[39:28] our performance date

[39:28] in Morocco.

[39:30] You go ahead of me.

[39:31] I'll wait here

[39:32] and I'll get my passport.

[39:35] Warren Beatty goes ahead.

[39:38] runs into another American

[39:39] at the hotel.

[39:40] It's Charles Grodin

[39:41] who turns out to be

[39:41] a CIA officer.

[39:43] The great Muppet Capers,

[39:44] Charles Grodin?

[39:45] You got it.

[39:46] Clifford's Charles Grodin.

[39:48] The Charles Grodin shows.

[39:49] Beethoven's Charles Grodin?

[39:51] Yeah.

[39:53] Those episodes of Louis's

[39:55] Charles Grodin.

Dan McCoy

[39:56] Yeah.

[39:57] We should make it clear.

[39:58] We love Charles Grodin.

[39:59] Yeah,

[39:59] he's great.

[40:00] We're not denigrating him.

[40:02] His performance

Elliott Kalan

[40:03] in The Lonely Guy,

[40:04] I think is so funny.

Dan McCoy

[40:05] He's such a funny guy.

[40:07] But anyway,

[40:08] Dave is an okay comedy.

[40:10] Dave is a very good comedy.

[40:12] But every scene

[40:13] Charles Grodin in.

[40:15] No.

Elliott Kalan

[40:16] That's Meat Dave.

[40:17] That's Meat Dave.

[40:18] No,

[40:19] that's Meat Dave.

[40:19] Meat Dave.

[40:20] No,

[40:20] this is Dave with Kevin Kline.

[40:21] It's because he's made out of meat.

[40:22] It's not meat.

[40:24] It's not Meat Dave.

[40:25] I knew they were going to go there.

[40:26] Basically,

[40:26] every Dave is a Meat Dave.

[40:28] Until you meet a robot named Dave,

[40:31] every Dave is a Meat Dave.

[40:32] They're all made of meat.

[40:34] That's if someone,

[40:34] if an alien.

[40:35] It sounds like

Dan McCoy

[40:35] an inspirational poster.

[40:37] Every Dave is a Meat Dave.

Elliott Kalan

[40:40] And there's one that just shows,

[40:41] it shows a pig winking

[40:42] and it says they're all made of meat.

Stuart Wellington

[40:45] I'm just saying,

[40:47] if I meet a Dave,

[40:48] I want them to clarify

[40:49] that they're a Meat Dave

[40:50] when I meet them.

[40:51] So I don't think

[40:51] they're a Robot Dave.

Elliott Kalan

[40:52] Yeah,

[40:53] because ironically,

[40:54] Meat Dave from the movie Meat Dave

[40:55] was a Robot Dave.

[40:57] What?

[40:57] Full of little Meat Daves.

[40:59] Oh man,

[40:59] what am I going to do?

[41:00] They should have called it

[41:01] Robot Dave full of Meat Daves.

[41:03] No,

[41:03] they should have said

[41:04] Meat Dave,

[41:05] comma,

[41:05] a Robot Dave full of Meat Daves.

[41:08] The movie.

[41:10] Starring Eddie Murphy.

Stuart Wellington

[41:12] Thank you for telling me

[41:12] it's a movie

Elliott Kalan

[41:13] and not just a poster.

[41:15] You're not just

[41:16] expected to meet a guy.

[41:17] You're like,

[41:17] I'm meeting a new person.

[41:18] Should I get dressed up nice?

[41:19] Should I try and climb

Stuart Wellington

[41:20] through this picture on the wall?

[41:22] Nope.

[41:23] Do I have anything in my teeth?

[41:24] It's not a mirror.

Elliott Kalan

[41:25] That's not you.

[41:26] You're not that character.

[41:28] I'm black with a mustache?

[41:29] No,

[41:30] that's a photograph of Eddie Murphy.

[41:33] So,

[41:33] they get,

[41:34] so,

[41:34] he gets,

[41:35] he gets hired by

[41:36] Charles Grodin,

[41:37] a CIA agent,

[41:38] to be like a CIA spy

[41:39] because it means

[41:41] he'll have enough money

[41:41] to buy a car

[41:42] to get to Morocco.

[41:43] He does.

[41:44] Warren Beatty performs

[41:45] one night,

[41:45] is performing his act

[41:46] by himself.

[41:47] He says,

[41:48] I'm going to perform

[41:48] some Simon and Garfunkel songs.

[41:50] Everybody requests songs

[41:51] that are not

[41:51] Simon and Garfunkel songs.

[41:52] He refuses to play them

[41:54] until Dustin Hoffman appears

[41:56] and they sing

[41:56] That's Amore,

[41:57] which the crowd requested.

[41:59] Saves the day.

Stuart Wellington

[42:00] That fucking banger.

Elliott Kalan

[42:01] Because it's like,

[42:01] play the fucking hits, dude.

[42:03] Nobody wants to hear

[42:05] your

[42:05] wussy,

[42:06] indie Simon and Garfunkel nonsense.

[42:08] You go to Morocco

Stuart Wellington

[42:08] or Ishtar.

[42:11] You want to hear,

[42:12] you want to hear

[42:13] fucking

Elliott Kalan

[42:13] That's Amore?

[42:15] You want to hear

[42:16] the hits,

[42:17] the number one hits

[42:17] like That's Amore.

Dan McCoy

[42:21] The Italian song,

[42:23] That's Amore.

Elliott Kalan

[42:24] Yeah,

[42:24] yeah,

[42:25] it's an old Italian song.

[42:26] That's why one word

[42:27] in it is Italian

[42:28] and it's all about

[42:29] explaining what that word means.

[42:30] I'm just saying,

Dan McCoy

[42:32] in Ishtar,

[42:33] it's not necessarily the,

[42:35] yeah,

[42:35] anyway.

[42:36] You could say

[42:36] it's an American song

[42:37] because that would be accurate.

[42:41] All right.

[42:42] Funiculi,

Elliott Kalan

[42:42] funicula,

[42:43] that's an Italian song,

[42:44] dude.

Dan McCoy

[42:44] It is.

[42:45] It's about a funicular.

[42:46] It is.

[42:47] It was about a funicular.

[42:48] No,

[42:49] I know.

[42:49] Yeah.

[42:49] It's about a thing

[42:50] that goes up a mountain.

[42:51] Yeah.

[42:53] Well,

Elliott Kalan

[42:53] technically it's about

[42:55] an Englishman

[42:55] that goes up a hill

[42:56] and comes down a mountain.

[42:59] What a movie that was.

[43:00] Anyway,

[43:01] so,

[43:02] we should do that one sometime.

[43:03] I've never seen it

[43:04] and I've always been intrigued

[43:04] by the title.

[43:06] Because it's like,

[43:06] how did it turn into a mountain

[43:07] while he was up there?

[43:09] So anyway,

[43:10] they get mixed up

[43:11] in this thing.

[43:12] In the middle of the night,

[43:14] Dustin Hoffman,

[43:14] they are a huge hit

[43:15] and Dustin Hoffman's like,

[43:16] I gotta ride this high.

[43:17] Warren Beatty goes to bed.

[43:18] Chase the dragon.

[43:19] Yeah.

[43:20] Warren Beatty,

[43:20] which would be a much better movie

[43:22] if they were actually

[43:22] chasing a dragon.

[43:23] I imagine it's like

[43:24] Kangaroo Jack

[43:24] but it's with a dragon.

[43:25] It's just called Dragon Jack.

[43:26] Yep.

[43:27] Warren Beatty is attacked

[43:28] in his hotel room

[43:29] by,

[43:30] oh no,

[43:31] Isabella Johnny.

[43:32] She's been creeping in.

[43:33] She wants to switch the bags back.

[43:34] He,

[43:35] hilarious bit,

[43:36] again,

[43:36] thinks that she's a boy

[43:37] who is just trying to rob him

[43:40] until she kisses him

[43:41] and he's like,

[43:42] got a lot of emotions

[43:42] that he's not sure of.

[43:45] One thing leads to another

[43:46] and let's just cut,

[43:47] cut,

[43:47] long story short,

[43:49] Warren Beatty gets recruited

[43:50] by the rebels

[43:51] while Dustin Hoffman

[43:52] is working with the CIA

[43:53] which is on the side

[43:54] of the dictator.

[43:56] This should lead

[43:57] to hilarious misunderstandings.

[44:00] What it leads to

[44:00] almost immediately

[44:01] is a shootout

[44:03] at a market square

[44:04] that ends up

[44:05] with the two of them

[44:06] on the run

[44:07] with a camel in the desert.

[44:08] A bunch of people dead.

[44:09] It's also like

[44:10] a lot of people

[44:10] die in the shootout.

[44:12] Matt Frewer's there.

[44:13] I love that guy.

[44:14] Yeah,

[44:15] Matt Frewer's the CIA agent

[44:16] in the scene.

[44:17] Yeah,

[44:17] put him in anything.

[44:18] I'll watch it.

[44:19] Even the Generation X TV pilot.

[44:21] Yeah,

[44:21] I'll watch it.

[44:22] Okay,

[44:22] don't.

[44:23] He's in it.

[44:23] He was also in

[44:24] Spies Like Us.

Dan McCoy

[44:25] This is one of the most

[44:26] It was called

Elliott Kalan

[44:27] The Age of Frewer.

[44:28] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[44:29] This is one of the most

[44:29] incompetently filmed

[44:30] action sequences

[44:31] I've seen,

[44:33] I think.

[44:33] Like,

[44:33] there's no tension.

[44:35] No.

[44:35] There's no real sense of

[44:38] The scene where the boom mic

Elliott Kalan

[44:38] falls into the frame?

[44:39] No,

[44:39] that's a later scene.

[44:40] Yeah.

[44:41] No,

[44:41] but it's like,

[44:42] you know how this feels,

[44:43] I mean,

[44:44] I would say that it feels

[44:45] like it was shot

[44:46] in a hallway

[44:47] the way that it's put together

[44:48] except that

[44:49] Oldboy has an action scene

[44:50] shot in a hallway

[44:51] and it's amazing.

[44:52] So,

[44:52] that's not an insult

[44:53] to say an action scene

[44:54] was shot in a hallway

[44:55] but it's really ineptly

[44:56] strung together

[44:57] and like,

[44:58] that's fine.

[44:59] Elaine May is a huge

[45:00] dramatic and comic talent.

[45:02] She doesn't need to be

[45:03] a great action director.

[45:04] Yeah.

[45:05] But then maybe don't

[45:05] make a movie with a bunch

[45:06] of action scenes in it.

[45:07] Yeah.

[45:08] If that's not your

[45:09] will forte.

Dan McCoy

[45:10] Yeah,

[45:10] maybe stick to the

[45:11] goofy guys singing

[45:12] in New York.

Stuart Wellington

[45:13] Yeah,

[45:14] because those scenes

[45:14] were super great.

Dan McCoy

[45:16] I mean,

[45:16] they were better

[45:17] than the rest of the movie.

Elliott Kalan

[45:18] They were better.

[45:19] I think if it had just been

[45:20] them as songsters

[45:22] in New York

[45:22] or they tried to go

[45:23] to Hollywood

[45:24] to make it big,

[45:25] this would not have been

[45:26] as big a flop.

[45:26] It certainly wouldn't have.

[45:27] One of the things

[45:28] that people hated

[45:28] about the movie

[45:29] was that it cost a lot

[45:30] because critics

[45:31] like to get hung up

[45:32] on how much a movie

[45:33] costs as if that's...

[45:34] As if that money

Dan McCoy

[45:36] was going to be

[45:36] going to feeding

[45:37] the hungry.

[45:39] Or making a good movie.

[45:40] It's like...

[45:40] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[45:41] I think we've shattered

[45:41] the idea that an expensive movie

[45:43] is a prestige

[45:44] or a good movie

[45:45] by the fact that

[45:46] the most expensive movies

[45:47] are made now

[45:48] and they're almost all crappy.

[45:49] But at the time

[45:50] it was like

[45:50] if a movie was really expensive

[45:51] you expected to get

[45:53] a lot out of it.

[45:54] Yeah.

[45:54] And so

[45:54] then the movie would have

[45:55] been a lot less expensive

[45:56] if they weren't

[45:57] doing action scenes.

[45:59] But,

[45:59] okay,

[46:00] it's this inept shootout.

[46:01] They escape.

[46:02] They get told some...

[46:03] they gotta meet up

[46:04] with somebody.

[46:04] Dustin Hoffman is told

[46:05] hey,

[46:06] you gotta get this guy

[46:07] out in the desert

[46:07] and we'll pick you up

[46:08] in a helicopter.

[46:09] Warren Beatty's told

[46:10] you gotta get a camel

[46:11] from somebody.

[46:12] It's part of a code

[46:13] or something like that.

[46:14] They end up

[46:14] with a blind camel

[46:15] stumbling around

[46:17] left for dead

[46:18] by everybody.

[46:19] Yeah.

[46:20] And they've still got

[46:20] this magic map.

[46:22] Just like

[46:23] Magic Map XL.

[46:24] Mm-hmm.

[46:27] Sure enjoy that one.

Stuart Wellington

[46:28] It's not even the XXL.

[46:30] It's the middle one.

[46:31] It's the right one in.

[46:32] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[46:32] It's the Empire Strikes Back

[46:33] of the Magic Mike series.

Stuart Wellington

[46:34] Oh, wow.

[46:34] It's got a dark ending.

[46:35] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:36] Okay.

[46:37] I mean,

[46:37] this movie did kind of

[46:38] have a dark ending.

[46:39] It ends with Magic Mike...

Dan McCoy

[46:40] It ends with Magic Mike

[46:43] getting his penis sliced off

[46:45] and he has to get

[46:46] a robotic penis.

[46:47] Oh, okay.

[46:48] That didn't go the way

[46:48] I thought it was going to.

Elliott Kalan

[46:50] I thought it was more

[46:50] of an audition type thing.

Stuart Wellington

[46:51] I mean,

[46:52] I think that's okay

[46:54] because I think

[46:54] for Mike it's,

[46:56] you know,

[46:56] that he's giving pleasure

[46:58] to others.

[46:58] Yeah.

[46:59] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:59] He doesn't need

[47:00] to feel it himself.

[47:00] And his new robot penis

[47:01] telescopes.

[47:03] Yeah.

[47:03] Like it telescopes

[47:04] back into his body

[47:05] when he's not using it

[47:05] like Wolverine's claws

[47:06] kind of.

[47:07] Which I know,

[47:07] Wolverine's claws

[47:08] don't telescope,

[47:09] but you get what I'm saying.

Stuart Wellington

[47:10] But what if they did?

[47:10] Do you think there was

[47:11] ever a character design?

[47:13] Do you think like

[47:13] when they tried to make

[47:14] the X-Men movies

[47:15] there were some

[47:16] character designers

[47:17] like,

[47:17] they're just knives?

[47:18] That's stupid.

[47:19] What if they were

[47:20] telescoping blades?

Elliott Kalan

[47:21] Yeah.

[47:22] The same way that

[47:22] every time they're like,

[47:24] hmm,

[47:25] Superman,

[47:25] Spider-Man,

[47:26] and Batman's costumes

[47:27] have existed

[47:28] relatively unchanged

[47:29] for,

[47:30] at this point,

[47:31] almost a hundred years.

[47:33] Let me throw some

[47:34] shitty texture on there.

[47:35] Like,

[47:35] let me do a bunch

[47:36] of weird contours

[47:37] that don't make sense.

Stuart Wellington

[47:38] I want to put

[47:38] fake muscle pads

[47:40] on this one.

Elliott Kalan

[47:41] What if it all

[47:42] looked like it was

[47:43] really pebbly?

[47:44] What if it looked

[47:45] pebbly?

Stuart Wellington

[47:47] Yeah,

[47:47] we want the villains

[47:48] to try and grab them

[47:49] and be like,

[47:50] that feels weird.

[47:52] I don't want to touch that.

Elliott Kalan

[47:53] It's like you're

[47:53] supposed to be,

[47:54] it's one of those

[47:54] things that's supposed

[47:55] to be like a massager

[47:56] but it feels gross.

[47:57] When they give you

[47:58] that soap full of oats

[47:59] and they're like,

[48:00] it's good for your skin

[48:01] and it's like,

[48:01] why does it feel

[48:02] like I'm scraping myself?

[48:04] Can we nipple

[48:04] this thing up

Dan McCoy

[48:05] by at least 90%?

[48:07] That's a lot.

Elliott Kalan

[48:09] Oh man.

[48:10] Well,

[48:10] you don't want

[48:10] a partial nipple.

[48:12] That would be weird.

[48:13] No,

[48:13] that would be very strange

[48:14] or inverted

[48:14] which a lot of people have.

[48:16] Yeah.

[48:16] And they have to

[48:17] blow on their thumb

[48:18] and make them pop out.

[48:19] Yeah.

[48:21] So,

[48:21] they get lost

[48:22] in the desert.

[48:23] They are wandering

[48:24] around forever.

[48:26] Yeah.

[48:26] Like,

[48:26] I've seen movies

[48:27] where people wander

[48:28] for a long time.

[48:29] The Good,

[48:29] the Bad,

[48:29] and the Ugly,

[48:30] Lawrence of Arabia,

[48:32] Desert,

[48:32] the movie.

[48:34] Noah?

[48:36] Wait,

[48:36] not Noah.

[48:37] What the fuck?

[48:38] Noah's kind of

[48:38] the opposite of the desert.

[48:39] It's nothing but water,

[48:40] Dan.

[48:40] You mean the Ten Commandments?

[48:41] Yeah,

[48:42] that's right.

[48:42] Or Prince of Egypt?

[48:43] Or was there a movie

[48:44] called Moses?

Dan McCoy

[48:44] I was just talking about

[48:46] the story of Moses.

[48:47] Okay,

[48:47] just the Exodus story.

Elliott Kalan

[48:48] Yes,

[48:48] they wandered the desert

[48:49] for a very long time.

[48:50] They wandered the desert

[48:50] for a long time.

Stuart Wellington

[48:51] Thanks be on Thunderdome

[48:52] where he has to ride off

[48:53] with that weird...

[48:54] With a clown thing

[48:55] on his head or something?

[48:56] Yeah.

[48:56] I was talking about

Dan McCoy

[48:57] the Moses Pale Kids.

Stuart Wellington

[49:02] Anyway.

[49:04] Dan's looking to Elliot,

[49:05] you got a bit for that?

[49:07] No,

[49:07] I don't know what...

Elliott Kalan

[49:09] I'm not sure I want to

[49:10] exert the energy

[49:11] to try to visualize

Stuart Wellington

[49:12] what the Moses Pale Kids

[49:13] would be.

Elliott Kalan

[49:14] All I can think of

[49:15] is there's a pale

[49:16] with Moses in it.

Stuart Wellington

[49:17] I'll give it a little bounce pass.

[49:18] You can just

[49:18] take it right to the...

[49:19] You know what?

Elliott Kalan

[49:21] I'm going to use my red card

[49:22] but I only have one

[49:23] per season

[49:24] but I'll use it

[49:25] to get out of this one.

[49:27] You know what?

[49:27] I'll phone a friend

[49:28] on this one.

[49:29] Stuart,

[49:29] why don't you handle

[49:30] the Moses Pale Kids?

[49:31] Oh,

Stuart Wellington

[49:32] that's a bad idea.

[49:35] That's a bad idea.

Elliott Kalan

[49:37] When you say

[49:39] Moses Pale Kids

[49:40] and you think

[49:41] it's a bit

[49:42] that's a bad idea.

[49:45] When you start

[49:46] to sing

[49:47] to cap off

[49:48] the bit

[49:48] that's much worse.

[49:51] Yeah.

[49:52] Get the words wrong

[49:53] for the stupid song

[49:54] then you keep on

[49:55] along in this thingy.

[49:57] When you did that

Stuart Wellington

[49:58] quick summary

[49:59] of them getting lost

[50:00] in the desert,

[50:02] you made it sound

[50:02] more exciting

[50:03] than it was.

Elliott Kalan

[50:04] It's very boring.

[50:05] They are wandering forever

[50:06] and then like,

[50:07] they fall down

[50:08] in some vultures land

[50:09] and that's about it.

Stuart Wellington

[50:10] And for like,

[50:11] there's,

[50:11] you know,

[50:12] there's a couple

[50:13] of bits that are funny

[50:14] like Warren Beatty

[50:15] yelling at the vultures

[50:17] is pretty funny.

Elliott Kalan

[50:18] Yeah,

[50:18] there's some funny stuff there

[50:19] and there's a part,

[50:20] it's not funny,

[50:21] there's a part where

[50:21] they run into

[50:22] some gun runners

[50:23] who are auctioning off

[50:23] guns to Bedouins

[50:26] gets mixed up

[50:29] with the auctioneer

[50:30] who never shows up.

[50:32] Like,

[50:32] you think that the cap

[50:33] of that,

[50:34] so Dustin Hoffman

[50:34] has to pretend

[50:35] he can speak

[50:35] Arab languages

[50:36] in a bit that

[50:37] would be kind of

[50:39] offensive today.

[50:40] Yeah,

[50:40] kind of offensive?

[50:42] It's a little offensive

[50:43] but at the time,

[50:44] Arabs were of course

[50:45] our number one source

[50:46] of enemies

[50:46] for action movies

[50:47] so we didn't really care

[50:48] what they thought.

[50:49] But you'd think

[50:50] the caper to that bit

[50:51] would be that

[50:52] the real auctioneer

[50:53] shows up.

[50:53] But no,

[50:54] he conducts a successful

[50:55] auction with the help

[50:56] of a ringer

[50:57] or a baby dressed up

[50:58] in his kefir.

Dan McCoy

[50:59] You have to assume

[51:00] that the real auctioneer

[51:01] has died long ago

[51:02] his bones stripped

[51:03] by vultures.

Elliott Kalan

[51:04] Oh,

[51:04] you have to assume

[51:05] that the other auctioneer

[51:06] has been blessed

[51:07] by God with mercy

[51:08] and will not be

[51:08] appearing in the film.

Stuart Wellington

[51:10] The other auctioneer

[51:11] is being held upside down

[51:12] and having his feet

[51:13] burned by Jabba's robot.

Elliott Kalan

[51:15] There are so many scenes

[51:17] of them wandering

[51:18] I'm like,

[51:18] when are they going

[51:18] to come upon Jabba's palace?

Stuart Wellington

[51:21] It was the gonk droid

[51:22] that had that happen

[51:23] and not the other guy.

Elliott Kalan

[51:24] Well,

[51:24] maybe the gonk droid

[51:25] was a bad auctioneer

[51:27] and that's why they did it.

[51:29] It was just like,

[51:30] our first lot

[51:32] is this beautiful

[51:33] dancing girl,

[51:34] Ula,

[51:35] do I hear gonk?

[51:37] Gonk!

[51:38] Do I hear gonk?

[51:39] I have gonk.

[51:39] Do I hear gonk?

[51:40] The man in the back,

[51:41] gonk.

[51:42] Do I have gonk?

[51:42] I'm Anna Man!

[51:43] Yes, gonk!

[51:44] Boba Fett, gonk!

[51:45] Okay,

[51:45] do I have gonk?

[51:46] Gamoran Guard,

[51:47] gonk!

[51:47] Do I have gonk?

[51:48] Yak Man, gonk?

[51:49] Yeah,

[51:49] Rigi's, gonk!

[51:51] Oh,

[51:51] Klaatu, gonk!

[51:53] And they were like,

[51:53] so how much is that

[51:54] at the end?

[51:55] Gonk!

[51:56] And they were like,

[51:57] Jabba's like,

[51:57] no Jabba Wonga,

[51:59] send him to the

[52:00] torture palace

[52:01] to be tortured.

Stuart Wellington

[52:02] Seems so possible about it.

Elliott Kalan

[52:04] That's what Jabba believed.

[52:05] By that point,

[52:06] he'd been stuffing

[52:07] a lot of frogs

[52:08] in his gullet

[52:09] and sucking on that

[52:09] hookah pipe.

[52:10] He's just living

[52:11] a pretty hard.

Dan McCoy

[52:12] No Jabba Wonga

[52:14] lifestyle at that point.

Elliott Kalan

[52:16] He has a tattoo

[52:18] on his belly

[52:18] that says,

[52:19] this is Wonga life.

[52:22] And also,

[52:23] when you're on

[52:23] Salacious Crumb,

[52:24] how can you not

[52:25] be in a good mood?

[52:25] The guy loves to laugh.

[52:27] He's fucking hilarious.

[52:28] How is nobody,

[52:29] or maybe it exists.

[52:30] He's like a walking

[52:31] Big Johnson t-shirt.

[52:34] It's guaranteed hilarity.

[52:36] I love that that character

Dan McCoy

[52:37] is just like,

[52:38] Big Johnson?

[52:40] No,

[52:40] Salacious Crumb

[52:41] is just an adjective

[52:43] and a noun.

[52:45] Like,

[52:45] it's just a crazy adjective

[52:47] and a noun.

Elliott Kalan

[52:48] Yeah,

[52:48] like lots of other names.

[52:50] Whoa.

[52:51] Like what?

[52:52] Name one.

[52:53] Happy Gilmore.

[52:54] All right.

[52:55] Like,

[52:56] Lucky,

[52:57] what's her name?

[52:58] Lucky,

[53:00] what?

[53:01] Something.

Dan McCoy

[53:02] Who's that person's name?

[53:03] Lucky.

[53:03] From what?

[53:04] I can't remember.

Elliott Kalan

[53:05] Like,

[53:05] wait,

[53:06] wait,

[53:06] like,

[53:09] yeah,

[53:10] mm-hmm.

[53:11] Smiley

[53:12] guy.

[53:14] Okay,

[53:14] that's Guy Smiley's name,

[53:15] but it's backwards.

[53:16] Buckle your seatbelts.

Stuart Wellington

[53:17] All right.

[53:18] Reese

[53:19] is just

[53:20] three eyes backwards.

[53:22] What?

Elliott Kalan

[53:23] I mean,

[53:24] it's not really,

[53:24] it's like an anagram.

[53:25] It's not.

[53:25] It's an anagram.

[53:26] I mean,

[53:26] they chopped out some letters.

[53:28] The T and the H are not in there.

[53:29] It's the same shit.

[53:32] But,

[53:32] so,

[53:33] I guess what I'm saying is,

[53:35] why isn't anyone,

[53:36] done a video yet

[53:37] where he's singing

[53:38] that I love to laugh song

[53:40] from Mary Poppins?

[53:43] Get on it,

[53:43] internet,

[53:44] I guess.

[53:44] Come on,

Elliott Kalan

[53:44] internet,

[53:44] make it happen.

[53:45] Once I asked for a gif

[53:46] of Boba Fett

[53:48] falling into the Sarlacc

[53:49] and it would say

[53:50] nothing but Fett.

[53:51] People made it.

[53:52] So I want people to make this now.

[53:54] Don't send us that thing

[53:55] where it's the lightsaber battle

[53:56] but it's just Owen Wilson

[53:57] saying whoa.

[53:57] Yeah.

[53:58] Saying wow.

[53:58] We don't need that.

[53:59] You've got 500 of that.

[54:01] You've got a lot of those.

[54:02] I want more

[54:02] Salacious Crumb singing

[54:03] the I love to laugh song

[54:04] from Mary Poppins.

[54:06] Yeah.

[54:07] Good stuff.

[54:08] You know,

[54:08] the one that Ed Wynn sings.

[54:11] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[54:11] I love to laugh.

Elliott Kalan

[54:13] Ha ha ha ha.

[54:15] Yeah,

[54:15] but imagine Salacious Crumb

[54:16] doing it.

[54:16] Yeah,

[54:16] you just gave them the audio.

[54:17] They didn't use that.

[54:18] And instead of the Ed Wynn laugh,

[54:19] it's the hee hee hee hee hee hee.

[54:22] So Salacious Crumb.

[54:23] Wipe out.

[54:25] That was his first show.

[54:26] That was his first,

[54:27] yeah,

[54:27] his first show.

[54:27] His first gig.

[54:28] But he was just a studio lapper

[54:29] so he didn't get credit

[54:30] on the album.

[54:31] Didn't get any sweet royalties.

[54:32] So we've established again

[54:35] my favorite Star Wars alien

[54:36] because he loves to laugh.

[54:37] Let's get back to the movie.

[54:38] They're wandering the desert

[54:39] forever.

[54:40] The CIA wants them dead

[54:41] but it's not working out.

[54:43] They send a helicopter

[54:44] to shoot them down

[54:44] but they have all these guns

[54:46] from the gun runners

[54:47] because I guess the gun runners

[54:48] see the helicopter coming,

[54:49] think it's coming for them

[54:50] and they all scatter.

[54:51] Now they've got this weaponry

[54:53] and they're going to shoot

[54:54] this helicopter down

[54:55] and it flies away.

[54:56] Isabella Johnny shows up

[54:57] with a jeep,

[54:58] saves their bacon

[54:59] and they fire like,

[55:02] they have like rockets

[55:02] or grenades they're firing

[55:04] at the helicopter.

[55:05] It flies away.

[55:06] Charles Roden says,

[55:06] abort mission,

[55:07] abort mission.

Dan McCoy

[55:09] Everything's okay.

[55:10] because it was supposed to be

[55:11] sort of a low-key

[55:13] like under the radar mission

[55:14] that they're killing

[55:15] their own civilians.

[55:17] Yeah,

[55:17] they're killing Americans.

[55:18] They're killing Americans

[55:19] and Ishtar.

Elliott Kalan

[55:20] They're killing them

[55:21] in the name of.

[55:22] Yeah.

[55:22] Now you do what they told you.

[55:24] Mm-hmm.

[55:26] So,

[55:27] here's where,

[55:28] like,

[55:29] the movie,

[55:30] I lost track of it.

[55:31] The movie skips to the end.

[55:32] It skips to the end

[55:32] and it's like,

[55:33] what happened to that

[55:34] stupid magic map

[55:35] everyone was talking about

[55:36] that was going to

[55:37] precipitate a revolution?

[55:39] Did that happen?

[55:39] Did that happen off camera?

[55:41] So,

Dan McCoy

[55:43] Charles Roden like,

[55:44] mumbles a bunch of stuff

[55:45] about how like,

Elliott Kalan

[55:46] There are a lot of scenes

[55:46] where Charles Roden

[55:47] is mumbling plot exposition

[55:48] to Dustin Hoffman.

[55:49] I'm like,

[55:49] what?

Dan McCoy

[55:50] Yeah,

[55:50] like the idea is like,

[55:51] I can't hear it.

[55:53] They threatened to sell

[55:54] the map to the KGB

[55:55] and they extorted,

[55:58] like,

[55:58] number one,

[56:00] the emir is like

[56:01] supposed to become

[56:02] more liberal now.

[56:04] There's going to be reforms.

[56:06] Oh,

[56:06] I missed all that.

[56:07] And number two,

[56:08] the US government

[56:10] to cover up

[56:10] what they've been doing

[56:11] in Ishtar,

[56:13] they have to back

[56:14] their album.

Elliott Kalan

[56:16] That's what I got.

[56:17] So they write a new album

[56:18] that's all full of songs

[56:19] about Ishtar

[56:20] and their big song

[56:21] that they've been trying

[56:21] to do the whole movie,

[56:23] which is about how

[56:24] honesty doesn't make you popular

[56:25] and if you play accordion,

[56:26] they're not going to ask you

[56:27] to play in a rock and roll band.

[56:29] But we can sing!

[56:30] And the US government

[56:31] funds an album

[56:33] and a tour

[56:34] and it ends with

[56:35] their album cover

[56:35] in the same shop display window

[56:37] that they were

[56:38] looking into earlier

[56:39] with such envy

[56:40] in their eyes.

[56:41] And I got to tell you guys,

[56:43] this is something I mentioned

[56:44] right before we started recording.

[56:46] At home right now,

[56:47] I'm in the middle of watching

[56:48] a movie called Black Moon,

[56:49] the Louis Moll movie

[56:50] that's a kind of

[56:51] dreamlike vision

[56:52] of a

[56:53] not exactly sci-fi world

[56:55] where men and women

[56:56] are in a violent war

[56:57] with each other

[56:58] and one woman

[56:58] is wandering

[56:59] through the chaos

[57:00] and just,

[57:01] it's just weird

[57:02] set piece

[57:03] after weird set piece.

[57:04] Suddenly,

[57:05] a herd of pigs

[57:05] followed by naked children

[57:06] will just run

[57:07] through the frame

[57:08] or she'll talk

[57:09] to a woman

[57:10] where the woman

[57:11] seems to be speaking

[57:12] multiple languages at once.

[57:13] I am having so much

[57:14] of an easier time

[57:15] following that movie

[57:16] than I had following

[57:17] Ishtar,

[57:18] a big budget

[57:19] Hollywood comedy

[57:20] starring Warren Beatty

[57:21] and Dustin Hoffman.

[57:22] I had so much trouble

[57:23] following the plot

[57:24] of this movie

[57:25] and knowing why

[57:26] anyone was doing

[57:26] anything at any point.

[57:28] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[57:28] I went into it

[57:30] because there has been

[57:32] a little bit of

[57:33] like a re-evaluation

[57:34] I went into it

[57:36] expecting it

[57:37] to be better

[57:37] than it was.

[57:39] Yeah.

[57:40] And it's not very good.

Elliott Kalan

[57:42] It's not like

[57:42] I would have liked

[57:43] nothing more

[57:44] than to see it

[57:45] and be like

[57:46] they were right

[57:47] this is a good movie

[57:48] but it's like

[57:50] it's like

[57:51] trying so hard

[57:52] to be funny

[57:53] and failing

[57:53] at almost every opportunity.

[57:55] Like,

Dan McCoy

[57:55] I don't even think

[57:56] it's trying that hard

[57:57] because you watch

[57:58] whole scenes

[57:58] and you're like

[57:59] where were the jokes?

[58:00] I guess that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[58:01] What happened to the jokes?

[58:01] They're trying so hard

[58:02] to do something.

Stuart Wellington

[58:03] Elaine May.

[58:03] But I don't know

[58:04] what they're trying to do.

[58:05] Yeah.

[58:06] It's like

[58:06] you want to watch

[58:07] Hay.

Elliott Kalan

[58:08] You want to watch

[58:09] I'd love to watch Hay.

[58:10] Just a big pile of hay.

[58:11] Do I not have to watch

[58:12] Ishtar again?

[58:12] I'd rather watch the hay

[58:13] because a bug

[58:14] might show up

[58:15] at some point.

[58:15] If you want to watch

Stuart Wellington

[58:16] Ishtar

[58:17] but like

[58:18] the funny version

[58:18] just watch

[58:20] Dumb and Dumber guys.

[58:21] It's basically

[58:22] the same thing.

[58:22] It is basically

[58:23] the same thing

[58:24] and it is

Elliott Kalan

[58:24] actually funnier.

[58:26] It's much funnier

[58:26] and you have two actors

[58:27] playing

[58:28] I mean

[58:28] Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty

[58:29] are great actors.

[58:30] They're like

[58:31] Dustin Hoffman's

[58:31] one of the best actors

[58:32] in American film ever.

[58:34] But they

[58:34] for whatever reason

Stuart Wellington

[58:35] Warren Beatty's really great

[58:36] in McCabe and Mrs. Miller.

Elliott Kalan

[58:37] Warren Beatty's great

[58:38] in a lot of stuff

[58:39] and he's like

[58:39] Warren Beatty is a genuinely

[58:40] great director

[58:41] like Reds is a great movie.

[58:43] And to think

[58:43] that

Stuart Wellington

[58:44] only in a few years

[58:46] that powerhouse duo

[58:48] of Hoffman and Beatty

[58:50] would star

[58:51] side by side

[58:52] in one of the greatest movies

[58:54] of all time

[58:55] Dick Tracy.

[58:57] I think you're overstating it

[58:59] quite a bit.

Elliott Kalan

[59:01] I mean

[59:01] but at least

[59:01] with Dick Tracy

[59:02] like it looks

[59:03] beautiful.

[59:05] Like Ishtar

[59:05] it's got

[59:06] Vittorio Storaro

[59:07] is making this movie.

[59:08] He's one of the greatest

[59:09] cinematographers

[59:09] of all time

[59:10] and like

[59:11] it doesn't look that great.

[59:12] Like it looks

[59:13] and it's

[59:14] and you can't say like

[59:15] well it's in the desert

[59:16] there's not a lot going on.

[59:17] There have been beautiful movies

[59:18] made in the desert.

[59:19] Deserts are beautiful.

[59:20] Like it's neither funny

[59:21] nor exciting

[59:22] nor beautiful

[59:23] nor touching.

[59:24] But we were talking about

[59:25] so Warren Beatty

[59:26] they're great

[59:26] but they cannot seem

[59:27] to get the hang

[59:28] of playing two losers.

[59:30] You can't play dumb people.

[59:31] It's hard.

[59:32] I mean even in

[59:33] Midnight Cowboy

[59:33] Dustin Hoffman's a loser

[59:34] but he's not like

[59:35] he's kind of oblivious

[59:37] and doesn't understand

[59:38] the world.

[59:38] He's like a scammer.

[59:39] Yeah but he's not an idiot.

[59:40] Whereas like

[59:41] Jim Carrey

[59:42] and Jeff Daniels

[59:44] like

[59:44] totally understand

[59:46] what being

[59:47] what makes

[59:47] being dumb funny.

[59:48] And within moments

Stuart Wellington

[59:50] of being introduced

[59:51] to their characters

[59:52] you know who they are.

[59:53] Yeah.

[59:54] And I don't think

[59:57] even knew

[59:58] who their characters

[59:58] were for a while.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:00] I think they

[1:00:01] I mean

[1:00:02] the joke

[1:00:03] was always

[1:00:04] that they had

[1:00:05] switched characters

[1:00:05] or not joke

[1:00:06] the idea

[1:00:06] that they had

[1:00:06] switched characters

[1:00:07] so maybe they were

[1:00:08] trying to do

[1:00:09] their impressions

[1:00:10] of each other

[1:00:11] and they're just

[1:00:11] like really

[1:00:12] unflattering

[1:00:12] but that doesn't

[1:00:13] make any sense

[1:00:13] because Warren Beatty

[1:00:14] is like you're saying

[1:00:15] his accent gets

[1:00:15] more and more southern

[1:00:16] as time goes on

[1:00:17] and he talks

[1:00:18] about what a big

[1:00:19] clumsy guy he is

[1:00:20] like

[1:00:20] I would have liked

[1:00:22] it more

[1:00:22] it's the same thing

[1:00:23] where in like

[1:00:23] Face Off

[1:00:24] as crazy

[1:00:26] as the movie is

[1:00:27] it never really

[1:00:27] lives up to the

[1:00:28] promise of

[1:00:30] John Travolta

[1:00:30] doing a Nicolas Cage

[1:00:31] impression

[1:00:31] and Nicolas Cage

[1:00:32] doing a John Travolta

[1:00:33] impression

[1:00:33] which it should have been.

[1:00:35] Yeah I think

[1:00:35] that's right.

[1:00:36] Like they should

[1:00:36] but

[1:00:37] but this one

[1:00:39] like maybe

[1:00:39] if they had

[1:00:40] played into that

[1:00:41] more like

[1:00:41] they're literally

[1:00:41] playing each other's

[1:00:42] characters

[1:00:42] like

[1:00:43] I don't know.

[1:00:44] I mean I think

[1:00:44] the best parts

[1:00:45] in Face Off

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:45] are when they're

[1:00:47] kind of trying

[1:00:48] to do impressions

[1:00:49] of each other.

[1:00:49] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:50] I think

[1:00:51] I don't know

[1:00:51] I think the best parts

[1:00:52] of Face Off

[1:00:52] are Nicolas Cage

[1:00:53] is the bad guy

[1:00:54] and he's just like

[1:00:55] at the beginning

[1:00:56] and he's just like

[1:00:57] a crazy person

[1:00:58] and he's a priest

[1:00:59] dancing in public

[1:01:00] and grabbing

[1:01:01] like a young girl's butt

[1:01:02] and no one seems

[1:01:03] to notice.

[1:01:04] Like it's like

[1:01:05] he's turned invisible

[1:01:05] in that moment.

[1:01:07] It's like

[1:01:07] at that moment

[1:01:08] no one seems to see him

[1:01:09] but this one girl

[1:01:10] in the choir

[1:01:10] and I kind of wonder

[1:01:11] like

[1:01:12] is he a figment

[1:01:13] of her imagination?

[1:01:14] And the rest of the movie

[1:01:15] is just her fever dream

[1:01:17] as she lies between

[1:01:18] life and death

[1:01:18] on a church choir trip.

[1:01:20] So Dan

[1:01:21] where are the

[1:01:21] And he really likes fruit.

[1:01:22] He eats peaches for hours.

[1:01:24] That's all that means right?

[1:01:25] I mean by that point

[1:01:26] He just likes fruit?

[1:01:26] Yeah.

[1:01:27] That's why he's on the cover

[1:01:28] of Fruit Lover Magazine.

[1:01:31] Dan

[1:01:31] so where were the jokes?

[1:01:34] These people know jokes?

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:36] Yeah.

[1:01:36] Is this like the opposite

[1:01:37] of a fucking

[1:01:38] oops all very situation?

[1:01:39] Oops no jokes?

[1:01:40] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:41] Oh it's like

[1:01:42] you know

[1:01:42] it's like the Garfield

[1:01:43] without Garfields thing

[1:01:45] but it's like

[1:01:45] comedy without jokes

[1:01:47] like someone went in

[1:01:47] and digitally erased

[1:01:48] all the jokes.

[1:01:50] Yeah.

[1:01:51] Yeah I mean I think

[1:01:52] Why don't you erase

[1:01:53] fucking Garfie?

[1:01:55] I think Elaine

[1:01:55] Because then it becomes

[1:01:56] a comic strip

[1:01:57] about John Arbuckle

[1:01:58] living in his sadness.

[1:01:59] Yeah.

[1:02:00] It's pretty funny.

[1:02:01] There's two ways to do it.

[1:02:02] There's the one

[1:02:02] where there's no Garfield

[1:02:03] and John Arbuckle

[1:02:04] is a crazy person.

[1:02:05] And there's the one

[1:02:05] I prefer where

[1:02:06] Garfield's in it

[1:02:07] but they've erased

[1:02:07] all of his speech balloons.

[1:02:09] So it's just John Arbuckle

[1:02:10] blowing his top

[1:02:11] at a cat

[1:02:12] and just abusing

[1:02:14] this cat

[1:02:15] that does nothing

[1:02:15] but sit there.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:16] Have you ever seen

[1:02:16] that one Garfield comic

[1:02:19] where he's

[1:02:20] there at the vet

[1:02:21] and John

[1:02:22] picks up like

[1:02:23] a coffee mug

[1:02:25] and drinks it

[1:02:26] real quick

[1:02:26] and the vet

[1:02:28] is like

[1:02:29] congratulations

[1:02:29] you're gonna have

[1:02:30] a litter of puppies

[1:02:31] Mr. Arbuckle

[1:02:32] and you're like

[1:02:33] did he just drink

[1:02:34] dog jizz

[1:02:35] out of a coffee cup?

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:37] I've not seen that one

[1:02:38] I don't know it.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:39] It's also a huge

[1:02:40] misunderstanding

[1:02:40] about how

[1:02:41] insemination works

[1:02:43] if this veterinarian

[1:02:44] thinks that

[1:02:45] maybe this will be successful

[1:02:47] none of my dog

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:48] inseminations have worked.

[1:02:49] You drink something

[1:02:49] out of that coffee cup.

[1:02:51] What are they keeping

[1:02:52] in a coffee cup?

[1:02:54] I mean

[1:02:55] it could be in there

[1:02:55] Garfield is

[1:02:56] doesn't get the reputation

[1:02:57] it deserves as being

[1:02:58] a pretty experimental strip

[1:02:59] there was

[1:03:00] The Nine Lives of Garfield

[1:03:01] which is a crazy book.

[1:03:03] Yeah.

[1:03:03] There's that Garfield

[1:03:04] that week of Garfield

[1:03:05] strips where Garfield

[1:03:06] is in his house

[1:03:07] and everyone's gone

[1:03:08] and it implies

[1:03:09] that he dies

[1:03:10] and every strip

[1:03:11] after that

[1:03:11] is just his

[1:03:12] his fantasy

[1:03:13] that he escapes into

[1:03:14] like at the end of Brazil.

[1:03:15] Okay.

[1:03:16] But anyway

[1:03:17] Ishtar.

[1:03:18] So guys

[1:03:18] I was disappointed

[1:03:19] that it wasn't

[1:03:20] like I was

[1:03:21] this movie

[1:03:23] totally

[1:03:23] it didn't live up

[1:03:24] to the reappraisal hype

[1:03:25] but it kind of

[1:03:26] totally lived up

[1:03:27] to the early hype

[1:03:28] of it being really bad.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:30] Yeah.

[1:03:30] I think this is

[1:03:31] a final judgment

[1:03:32] sort of thing.

[1:03:33] Whether this is

[1:03:34] a good bad movie

[1:03:34] a bad bad movie

[1:03:35] or a movie

[1:03:36] you kind of like.

[1:03:37] Elliot continue

[1:03:37] with your thoughts.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:38] I would say

[1:03:39] I wanted this to be

[1:03:40] either a good bad movie

[1:03:40] or a movie kind of like

[1:03:41] it's just a bad bad movie

[1:03:43] like it's one of these

[1:03:43] in my opinion

[1:03:44] maybe I'm wrong

[1:03:45] but in watching this movie

[1:03:47] I keep

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:48] When you say it that way

[1:03:49] it doesn't seem like

Elliott Kalan

[1:03:50] you think you might be wrong.

[1:03:50] Maybe I'm the one

[1:03:52] who's crazy

[1:03:53] but like

[1:03:53] I think I can count up

[1:03:55] the number of moments

[1:03:56] in the movie

[1:03:57] that I was entertained

[1:03:58] or enjoying it

[1:03:58] like on one hand

[1:04:00] there were so many times

[1:04:01] when

[1:04:02] I just couldn't

[1:04:04] puncture

[1:04:04] what was going on

[1:04:05] on screen

[1:04:05] I couldn't engage

[1:04:06] or enter into it

[1:04:07] because I found it

[1:04:08] so boring

[1:04:10] and

[1:04:11] incomprehensible

[1:04:13] in terms of like

[1:04:13] why these things

[1:04:14] are happening on screen

[1:04:15] what about this

[1:04:16] is supposed to be funny

[1:04:17] like if you

[1:04:17] showed this movie to me

[1:04:18] and you didn't tell me

[1:04:20] it was a comedy

[1:04:20] I think I would think

[1:04:21] it was like

[1:04:22] kind of just a bad

[1:04:23] action thriller

[1:04:24] but it feels

[1:04:26] also like

[1:04:26] they slammed

[1:04:27] two different movies

[1:04:27] together

[1:04:28] they took

[1:04:28] the first half hour

[1:04:30] and they slammed

[1:04:31] it into this

[1:04:31] kind of crappy

[1:04:33] TV movie

[1:04:34] Indiana Jones

[1:04:35] place

[1:04:36] what do you guys think?

Dan McCoy

[1:04:39] Yeah

[1:04:40] the first 20 minutes

[1:04:42] or so

[1:04:42] I was kind of like

[1:04:43] oh maybe this is

[1:04:44] like an underrated

[1:04:45] comedy

[1:04:45] like it's not

[1:04:46] I'm not laughing

[1:04:48] that much

[1:04:48] but there are moments

[1:04:49] where I'm like

[1:04:49] this is funny

[1:04:50] and I can see

[1:04:51] what it's

[1:04:52] pointing at

[1:04:53] and I can see

[1:04:54] what it's trying to do

[1:04:54] and I like

[1:04:55] the kind of

[1:04:55] semi-improvisational

[1:04:57] feel

[1:04:58] although it could

[1:04:58] really use an editor

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:59] if it kept going

[1:05:00] that way

[1:05:01] it wouldn't be

[1:05:02] really good

[1:05:03] but it wouldn't be

[1:05:04] abysmal

[1:05:04] the way it's been

[1:05:05] described

Dan McCoy

[1:05:05] but as soon as

[1:05:06] it goes

[1:05:07] into the Middle East

[1:05:08] it just becomes

[1:05:09] so deadly dull

[1:05:12] and all of the plot

[1:05:14] is relayed

[1:05:16] by Charles Grodin

[1:05:17] having conversations

[1:05:18] with people

[1:05:18] and if you miss

[1:05:20] any of it

[1:05:20] you're totally lost

[1:05:22] and that's

[1:05:23] what I feel

[1:05:23] about it

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:24] yeah no

[1:05:26] you guys are both

[1:05:27] right

[1:05:27] I did not enjoy

[1:05:28] this one

[1:05:29] I was hoping

[1:05:29] because it was

[1:05:30] like known

[1:05:31] for being this

[1:05:31] big budget flop

[1:05:32] I was hoping

[1:05:33] that at least

[1:05:34] there would be

[1:05:34] things on screen

[1:05:36] that would be

[1:05:37] visually interesting

[1:05:38] like a choice

[1:05:39] that is totally

[1:05:41] wrong

[1:05:41] but it was at

[1:05:43] least interesting

[1:05:43] to see

[1:05:44] like 1941

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:45] is not a fun movie

[1:05:46] but you're like

[1:05:47] wow this is a

[1:05:48] big movie

[1:05:48] like there's

[1:05:49] tons of shit

[1:05:50] going on

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:50] you get a lot

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:52] of bad movie

[1:05:53] but you get

[1:05:53] a lot of movie

[1:05:54] and this

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:55] there's

[1:05:56] there's just

[1:05:56] not much there

[1:05:57] and then even

[1:05:59] the big

[1:05:59] even the

[1:06:00] like the big

[1:06:01] scenes of

[1:06:02] like the shootout

[1:06:02] in the marketplace

[1:06:03] like it's just

[1:06:04] so sloppily

[1:06:05] organized

[1:06:06] and for a movie

[1:06:07] especially

[1:06:08] where like

[1:06:09] it sounds like

[1:06:11] Elaine May

[1:06:12] shot so much

[1:06:14] footage

[1:06:15] you would think

[1:06:17] that they would

[1:06:18] have had

[1:06:18] better

[1:06:19] stuff

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:20] yeah

[1:06:20] so here's

[1:06:21] what I was

[1:06:21] saying earlier

[1:06:22] that I got

[1:06:22] imagine

[1:06:23] so Isabella

[1:06:24] Johnny is

[1:06:24] playing this

[1:06:25] like

[1:06:25] Middle Eastern

[1:06:26] freedom fighter

[1:06:27] they don't give

[1:06:28] her very much

[1:06:28] of anything

[1:06:29] to do

[1:06:29] but imagine

[1:06:31] if Carol Kane

[1:06:32] had played

[1:06:32] that part

[1:06:33] and it would

[1:06:34] make a lot

[1:06:34] more sense

[1:06:34] if she's

[1:06:35] kind of like

[1:06:35] a daffy

[1:06:36] kind of

[1:06:37] off

[1:06:39] freedom fighter

[1:06:40] one thing

[1:06:41] she's funny

[1:06:41] as much

[1:06:42] as I love

[1:06:42] Isabella Johnny

[1:06:43] she is not

[1:06:43] a comedy

[1:06:43] performer

[1:06:44] I don't

[1:06:45] watch

[1:06:45] Possession

[1:06:46] or like

[1:06:47] Adele H

[1:06:48] or something

[1:06:48] like that

[1:06:48] for comedy

[1:06:50] for slapping

[1:06:50] your knees

[1:06:51] yeah exactly

[1:06:51] when I'm

[1:06:52] watching

[1:06:52] Isabella

[1:06:52] Johnny

[1:06:52] movie

[1:06:53] I want

[1:06:53] to see

[1:06:53] like

[1:06:53] alienation

[1:06:54] and despair

[1:06:55] which is

[1:06:56] what she

[1:06:56] does really

[1:06:56] great

[1:06:57] but like

[1:06:58] imagine

[1:06:58] can you

[1:06:59] like

[1:06:59] a movie

[1:06:59] with like

[1:07:00] it explains

[1:07:01] why she

[1:07:01] would be

[1:07:01] kind of

[1:07:02] jerking

[1:07:02] these guys

[1:07:02] around

[1:07:03] so much

[1:07:03] and being

[1:07:04] such a

[1:07:04] weirdo

[1:07:05] if she

[1:07:05] was

[1:07:05] Carol Kane

[1:07:06] yeah

[1:07:07] like

[1:07:07] the way

[1:07:08] that

[1:07:08] a performer

[1:07:09] brings a

[1:07:09] persona

[1:07:10] with them

[1:07:10] like

[1:07:10] you wouldn't

[1:07:11] even need

[1:07:11] to explain

[1:07:11] it

[1:07:11] the minute

[1:07:12] she revealed

[1:07:12] she's

[1:07:13] Carol Kane

[1:07:13] you'd be

[1:07:13] like

[1:07:13] uh oh

[1:07:15] are in

[1:07:15] for some

[1:07:16] trouble

[1:07:16] like the

[1:07:17] same way

[1:07:18] that the

[1:07:18] funniest

[1:07:18] moment

[1:07:19] in

[1:07:19] it's a

[1:07:19] mad

[1:07:20] mad

[1:07:20] world

[1:07:20] is when

[1:07:21] at the

[1:07:21] airport

[1:07:22] they're

[1:07:22] like

[1:07:22] get the

[1:07:23] fire crew

[1:07:23] ready

[1:07:24] and they're

[1:07:24] like

[1:07:24] we got

[1:07:25] them

[1:07:25] and it pans

[1:07:25] over

[1:07:26] and the

[1:07:26] firemen

[1:07:26] are the

[1:07:27] three

[1:07:27] stooges

[1:07:27] and you're

[1:07:28] like

[1:07:29] don't need

[1:07:30] anything

[1:07:30] more

[1:07:30] I know

[1:07:31] exactly

[1:07:31] how this

[1:07:32] is gonna

[1:07:32] turn out

[1:07:33] badly

[1:07:33] that's a

[1:07:34] bad idea

[1:07:35] like it's

[1:07:35] such a

[1:07:36] fun

[1:07:36] it's like

[1:07:36] the funniest

[1:07:37] shot

[1:07:37] and it's

[1:07:38] you just

[1:07:38] because of

[1:07:39] the persona

[1:07:39] they bring

[1:07:40] with them

[1:07:40] you're like

[1:07:40] uh oh

[1:07:42] are not

[1:07:43] gonna do

[1:07:43] a good

[1:07:43] job

[1:07:44] uh

[1:07:45] and you

[1:07:45] never

[1:07:45] the three

[1:07:45] so just

[1:07:46] don't even

[1:07:46] appear in

[1:07:46] the rest

[1:07:47] of the

[1:07:47] movie

[1:07:47] but it's

[1:07:47] like

[1:07:48] I remember

[1:07:48] seeing that

[1:07:49] in the

[1:07:49] theater

[1:07:49] and it got

[1:07:50] a lot

[1:07:50] of laughs

[1:07:50] it's a

[1:07:51] funny

[1:07:51] movie

[1:07:51] but when

[1:07:52] that

[1:07:52] shot

[1:07:53] moved over

[1:07:53] it was

[1:07:53] like the

[1:07:54] audience

[1:07:54] could not

[1:07:55] contain

[1:07:55] their shit

[1:07:56] they were

[1:07:56] just like

[1:07:57] losing it

[1:07:58] all they do

[1:07:59] is stand

[1:07:59] there

[1:07:59] but they

[1:08:00] stand there

[1:08:00] with the

[1:08:00] weight

[1:08:00] of years

[1:08:01] of laughter

[1:08:02] on their

[1:08:02] shoulders

[1:08:03] so everybody

[1:08:03] you know

[1:08:03] what

[1:08:03] for this

[1:08:04] special

[1:08:04] 10th

[1:08:05] anniversary

[1:08:05] Flophouse

[1:08:06] let's hear

[1:08:06] for the

[1:08:06] three

[1:08:06] Stooges

[1:08:07] everybody

[1:08:07] yeah

[1:08:08] Larry

[1:08:10] Mo

[1:08:10] Curly

Dan McCoy

[1:08:11] Champ

[1:08:12] Curly

[1:08:14] Joe

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:14] Emil

[1:08:16] who

[1:08:16] didn't

[1:08:17] get to be

[1:08:17] in any

[1:08:18] of the

[1:08:18] Stooges

[1:08:18] movies

[1:08:18] he was

[1:08:19] announced

[1:08:19] as the

[1:08:20] third

[1:08:20] Stooges

[1:08:20] shortly

[1:08:20] before the

[1:08:21] other

[1:08:21] Stooges

[1:08:21] died

[1:08:21] but you

[1:08:22] know

[1:08:23] they all

[1:08:23] deserve

[1:08:23] their

[1:08:24] applause

[1:08:24] that's

[1:08:25] sad

[1:08:26] I mean

[1:08:28] they were

[1:08:28] far too

[1:08:28] old to be

[1:08:29] doing those

[1:08:29] movies at

[1:08:29] that point

[1:08:32] age is just

[1:08:33] a number

[1:08:33] 40 is the

[1:08:34] new 20

[1:08:35] according to

[1:08:35] Cougartown

[1:08:36] Cougartown

[1:08:37] now that's a

[1:08:38] reference to

[1:08:38] an ad

[1:08:39] campaign from

[1:08:39] what

[1:08:39] 9 years

[1:08:41] ago

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:41] yeah

[1:08:42] so I

[1:08:42] guess

[1:08:42] 49 is

[1:08:43] the new

[1:08:43] 29

[1:08:44] you know

[1:08:45] it

[1:08:45] so Dan

[1:08:46] what's next

[1:08:48] on this

[1:08:48] special

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:49] 10th

[1:08:50] anniversary

[1:08:50] flop

[1:08:51] house

[1:08:52] we've

[1:08:52] laid

[1:08:53] we've

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:54] laid

[1:08:54] ishtar

[1:08:55] to rest

[1:08:55] hopefully

[1:08:57] it won't

[1:08:57] rise from

[1:08:58] the grave

[1:08:58] we'll sleep

[1:08:59] with the

[1:08:59] fish

[1:09:00] tars

[1:09:00] I'm

S4

[1:09:08] Riley

[1:09:08] smurl

[1:09:08] I'm

[1:09:09] Sydney

[1:09:09] McElroy

[1:09:10] and I'm

[1:09:10] Taylor

[1:09:10] smurl

[1:09:11] and together

[1:09:11] we host

[1:09:12] a podcast

[1:09:12] called

[1:09:13] still

[1:09:14] buffering

[1:09:14] where we

[1:09:15] answer

[1:09:15] questions

[1:09:15] like

[1:09:16] why should

[1:09:17] I not

[1:09:17] fall asleep

[1:09:17] first at a

[1:09:18] slumber party

[1:09:18] how do I

[1:09:19] be fleek

[1:09:20] is it okay

[1:09:20] to break up

[1:09:21] with someone

[1:09:22] using emojis

[1:09:23] and sometimes

[1:09:24] we talk

[1:09:24] about

[1:09:24] bugs

[1:09:25] no we

[1:09:25] don't

[1:09:26] nope

[1:09:26] find out

[1:09:28] the answers

[1:09:28] to these

[1:09:29] important

[1:09:29] questions

[1:09:30] and many

[1:09:30] more

[1:09:31] on still

[1:09:32] buffering

[1:09:33] a sister's

[1:09:33] guide to

[1:09:34] teens

[1:09:34] through the

[1:09:35] ages

[1:09:35] I am a

[1:09:36] teenager

[1:09:36] and I

[1:09:38] was

[1:09:39] two

[1:09:40] butts

[1:09:41] butts

[1:09:42] butts

S5

[1:09:42] the three

Justin McElroy

[1:09:54] of you

[1:09:54] enter a

[1:09:55] cave

[1:09:55] of a

[1:09:55] big

[1:09:55] red

[1:09:55] dragon

[1:09:56] and is

[1:09:56] standing

[1:09:57] over a

[1:09:57] horde of

[1:09:58] precious

[1:09:58] golden

[1:09:59] rubies

[1:09:59] and he

[1:10:00] says

[1:10:00] what do

[1:10:01] you do

[1:10:01] adventures

[1:10:02] I'm a

[1:10:02] dragon

[1:10:03] man

[1:10:03] I cast

[1:10:03] fire on

[1:10:04] him

[1:10:04] it's

[1:10:04] very

S4

[1:10:04] good

[1:10:05] I

[1:10:05] address

[1:10:05] the

[1:10:06] red

[1:10:06] dragon

[1:10:06] and say

[1:10:06] us

[1:10:07] we're

[1:10:07] the

Justin McElroy

[1:10:07] hosts

[1:10:08] of

[1:10:08] the

[1:10:08] adventure

[1:10:09] zone

[1:10:09] a

[1:10:09] podcast

[1:10:09] about

[1:10:10] family

[1:10:10] playing

[1:10:11] dungeons

[1:10:12] and

[1:10:12] dragons

[1:10:12] very

[1:10:12] good

[1:10:13] synergy

[1:10:13] commit

[1:10:13] to

[1:10:14] the

[1:10:14] bit

[1:10:14] I

[1:10:15] roll

[1:10:16] to

[1:10:16] charm

[1:10:16] new

[1:10:17] listeners

[1:10:17] it

[1:10:18] is

[1:10:18] very

[1:10:18] effective

[1:10:19] against

[1:10:20] all

[1:10:20] odds

[1:10:20] everybody

[1:10:21] we're

[1:10:21] the

[1:10:21] macro

[1:10:21] we host

[1:10:22] the

[1:10:22] adventure

[1:10:22] zones

[1:10:22] a podcast

[1:10:23] where we

[1:10:23] play

[1:10:23] dungeons

[1:10:24] and dragons

[1:10:24] together

[1:10:24] it's a

[1:10:25] comedy

[1:10:25] podcast

[1:10:26] we don't

[1:10:26] take the

[1:10:26] rules too

[1:10:27] seriously

[1:10:27] because there's

[1:10:28] a lot

[1:10:28] of them

[1:10:28] and we

[1:10:28] did not

[1:10:29] take the

[1:10:29] time to

[1:10:29] learn

[1:10:29] them

[1:10:29] maybe

[1:10:30] listen

[1:10:30] to

[1:10:30] us

[1:10:30] we

[1:10:30] come

[1:10:31] out

[1:10:31] every

[1:10:31] other

[1:10:31] Thursday

[1:10:31] on

[1:10:32] the

[1:10:32] maximum

[1:10:32] fun

[1:10:32] network

[1:10:33] you can

[1:10:33] find us

[1:10:33] on

[1:10:34] itunes

[1:10:34] or on

[1:10:35] maximum

[1:10:35] fun

[1:10:35] dot org

[1:10:36] i think

[1:10:36] this promo

[1:10:37] is a

[1:10:37] critical

[1:10:37] hit

[1:10:38] hi it's

Dan McCoy

[1:10:45] dan here

[1:10:46] going at

[1:10:47] solo

[1:10:47] unfortunately

[1:10:48] for the ads

[1:10:49] this week

[1:10:49] because

[1:10:50] of the way

[1:10:52] we recorded

[1:10:52] this episode

[1:10:53] but

[1:10:54] we'll try

[1:10:56] and get

[1:10:56] through this

[1:10:56] together

[1:10:57] shall we

[1:10:57] before i

[1:10:59] get into

[1:10:59] the advertisements

[1:11:00] i just

[1:11:00] want to

[1:11:00] make a

[1:11:00] very

[1:11:01] special

[1:11:01] announcement

[1:11:02] the

[1:11:02] flop house

[1:11:03] is doing

[1:11:04] its first

[1:11:04] live

[1:11:05] shows

[1:11:06] on the

[1:11:06] west coast

[1:11:07] this

[1:11:08] coming

[1:11:09] fall

[1:11:09] and

[1:11:10] winter

[1:11:10] we have

[1:11:12] coming up

[1:11:12] on

[1:11:13] october

[1:11:15] the 8th

[1:11:16] at the

[1:11:16] la

[1:11:17] regent

[1:11:18] theater

[1:11:18] we're doing

[1:11:18] a special

[1:11:19] show

[1:11:19] i say

[1:11:20] a special

[1:11:21] show

[1:11:21] all the

[1:11:21] shows

[1:11:21] are special

[1:11:22] and there's

[1:11:23] nothing

[1:11:23] particularly

[1:11:23] special

[1:11:24] about this

[1:11:24] show

[1:11:24] so we're

[1:11:25] just doing

[1:11:26] a live

[1:11:26] show

[1:11:26] take it

[1:11:27] that way

[1:11:27] let's

[1:11:28] take that

[1:11:29] out again

[1:11:29] can we

[1:11:30] go again

[1:11:31] on

[1:11:32] october

[1:11:33] the 8th

[1:11:34] at the

[1:11:34] la region

[1:11:35] theater

[1:11:35] we will

[1:11:35] be doing

[1:11:36] a show

[1:11:37] a show

[1:11:38] also on

[1:11:40] december

[1:11:41] the 9th

[1:11:42] at the

[1:11:42] san francisco

[1:11:43] marines

[1:11:44] memorial

[1:11:44] theater

[1:11:44] we will

[1:11:45] also be

[1:11:46] performing

[1:11:46] those are

[1:11:47] two great

[1:11:48] california

[1:11:49] shows

[1:11:49] because

[1:11:50] california

[1:11:51] boy

[1:11:51] elliott

[1:11:51] kalen

[1:11:52] has kidnapped

[1:11:53] us and

[1:11:54] has taken

[1:11:54] us out

[1:11:55] to the

[1:11:56] but

[1:11:57] the flop

[1:11:58] house

[1:11:58] is sponsored

[1:11:59] in part

[1:11:59] by

[1:11:59] zip

[1:12:00] recruiter

[1:12:00] with

[1:12:01] zip

[1:12:01] recruiter

[1:12:01] you can

[1:12:02] post your

[1:12:02] job to

[1:12:03] 100 plus

[1:12:03] job sites

[1:12:04] with just

[1:12:04] one click

[1:12:05] then their

[1:12:06] powerful technology

[1:12:07] efficiently matches

[1:12:08] the right people

[1:12:09] to your job

[1:12:10] that's why

[1:12:11] zip

[1:12:11] recruiter

[1:12:11] is different

[1:12:12] unlike other

[1:12:13] job sites

[1:12:14] zip

[1:12:14] recruiter

[1:12:15] doesn't depend

[1:12:15] on candidates

[1:12:16] finding you

[1:12:17] it finds

[1:12:17] them

[1:12:17] in fact

[1:12:18] over 80%

[1:12:19] of jobs

[1:12:20] posted on

[1:12:20] zip

[1:12:20] recruiter

[1:12:21] get qualified

[1:12:22] candidates

[1:12:22] in just

[1:12:23] 24 hours

[1:12:24] find out

[1:12:25] today

[1:12:26] why

[1:12:26] zip

[1:12:26] recruiter

[1:12:27] has been

[1:12:27] used by

[1:12:27] businesses

[1:12:28] of all

[1:12:28] sizes

[1:12:29] to find

[1:12:30] the most

[1:12:30] qualified

[1:12:30] job

[1:12:31] candidates

[1:12:31] with

[1:12:31] immediate

[1:12:32] results

[1:12:32] and right

[1:12:33] now

[1:12:34] our

[1:12:34] listeners

[1:12:34] can post

[1:12:35] jobs

[1:12:35] on

[1:12:36] zip

[1:12:36] recruiter

[1:12:36] for free

[1:12:37] that's

[1:12:37] right

[1:12:38] free

[1:12:38] just go

[1:12:39] to

[1:12:39] zip

[1:12:39] recruiter

[1:12:40] dot com

[1:12:40] slash

[1:12:41] first

[1:12:41] that's

[1:12:42] zip

[1:12:42] recruiter

[1:12:42] dot com

[1:12:43] slash

[1:12:43] first

[1:12:44] one more

[1:12:45] time to try

[1:12:45] for free

[1:12:46] go to

[1:12:46] zip

[1:12:47] recruiter

[1:12:47] dot com

[1:12:48] slash

[1:12:48] first

[1:12:49] did you

[1:12:50] catch the

[1:12:51] times when

[1:12:51] I sort

[1:12:51] of said

[1:12:52] words

[1:12:52] wrong

[1:12:52] if so

[1:12:54] then you

[1:12:54] could be

[1:12:54] an Elliot

[1:12:55] Kalin

[1:12:55] in training

[1:12:56] I'm sorry

[1:12:58] that he

[1:12:58] wasn't here

[1:12:59] to make

[1:13:00] fun of me

[1:13:01] in real

[1:13:01] time

[1:13:02] next up

[1:13:04] we've got

[1:13:05] Squarespace

[1:13:06] the flop

[1:13:08] house is

[1:13:08] supported in

[1:13:09] part by

[1:13:10] make your

[1:13:11] next move

[1:13:12] with

[1:13:14] create a

[1:13:15] beautiful website

[1:13:16] with

[1:13:16] Squarespace's

[1:13:17] award-winning

[1:13:18] templates

[1:13:18] and all-in-one

[1:13:19] platform

[1:13:20] there's nothing

[1:13:21] to install

[1:13:21] patch or

[1:13:22] upgrade

[1:13:22] ever

[1:13:25] provides

[1:13:26] hard

[1:13:26] sorry

[1:13:27] hard-working

[1:13:28] award-winning

[1:13:29] 24-hour

[1:13:30] customer support

[1:13:33] offers a

[1:13:34] unique domain

[1:13:35] experience

[1:13:36] that's

[1:13:36] fully

[1:13:36] transparent

[1:13:37] and simple

[1:13:37] to set

[1:13:37] up

[1:13:38] for a

[1:13:38] free trial

[1:13:39] and 10%

[1:13:39] off your

[1:13:40] first purchase

[1:13:41] visit

[1:13:41] squarespace.com

[1:13:43] slash

[1:13:43] flop

[1:13:44] that's

[1:13:45] 10%

[1:13:46] off your

[1:13:47] first purchase

[1:13:48] not

[1:13:49] 10%

[1:13:50] off

[1:13:50] your first

[1:13:51] purchase

[1:13:52] there's no

[1:13:52] percentage

[1:13:53] of the

[1:13:54] metal tin

[1:13:55] that you

[1:13:56] will get

[1:13:56] off

[1:13:56] your first

[1:13:57] purchase

[1:13:58] apologize

[1:13:59] apologies

[1:14:00] to those

[1:14:02] who really

[1:14:02] hate

[1:14:03] the metal

[1:14:04] tin

[1:14:04] we do

[1:14:06] have

[1:14:07] one

[1:14:07] jumbodrome

[1:14:07] message

[1:14:08] it's for

[1:14:10] susan

[1:14:10] not

[1:14:10] sarandon

[1:14:11] from

[1:14:12] patrick

[1:14:12] not

[1:14:13] duffy

[1:14:13] and the

[1:14:14] message is

[1:14:15] happy

[1:14:15] birthday

[1:14:15] sorry

[1:14:16] your

[1:14:16] favorite

[1:14:17] peach

[1:14:17] elliot

[1:14:18] has left

[1:14:19] but i bet

[1:14:20] he would

[1:14:20] sing you a

[1:14:21] song if

[1:14:21] you were

[1:14:21] still around

[1:14:22] maybe stew

[1:14:23] would hum

[1:14:23] something

[1:14:24] i'm sorry

[1:14:25] that elliot

[1:14:26] is not

[1:14:26] here

[1:14:27] to hum

[1:14:28] or to

[1:14:29] sing

[1:14:29] and stew

[1:14:29] is not

[1:14:29] here to

[1:14:30] hum

[1:14:30] can i

[1:14:31] do some

[1:14:32] tuven throat

[1:14:32] singing for

[1:14:33] you

[1:14:34] that was

[1:14:44] probably

[1:14:44] racially

[1:14:45] insensitive

[1:14:45] or culturally

[1:14:46] insensitive

[1:14:46] i'm sorry

[1:14:47] um

[1:14:48] look i'm

[1:14:49] just doing

[1:14:49] this off

[1:14:50] the top

[1:14:50] of my

[1:14:50] head

[1:14:50] i apologize

[1:14:51] to anyone

[1:14:52] who might

[1:14:53] have actually

[1:14:54] studied

[1:14:55] tuven throat

[1:14:56] singing

[1:14:56] or be

[1:14:57] part of

[1:14:57] that

[1:14:58] culture

[1:14:58] i am

[1:15:00] just a

[1:15:00] jackass

[1:15:01] who does

[1:15:02] things on

[1:15:02] the internet

[1:15:03] uh

[1:15:04] we're bringing

[1:15:05] the show

[1:15:06] the now hear

[1:15:07] this podcast

[1:15:08] festival in new

[1:15:09] york city

[1:15:09] this september

[1:15:10] the lineup

[1:15:11] includes great

[1:15:12] shows like

[1:15:13] how does this

[1:15:14] get made

[1:15:14] comedy bang

[1:15:15] bang

[1:15:16] criminal

[1:15:17] and planet

[1:15:18] money

[1:15:18] plus more of

[1:15:19] your favorites

[1:15:20] from gimlet

[1:15:20] crooked media

[1:15:21] public radio

[1:15:22] and radiotopia

[1:15:22] and it's how

[1:15:24] did this get

[1:15:24] made

[1:15:25] not how does

[1:15:26] this get

[1:15:26] made

[1:15:26] that's uh

[1:15:28] that's a

[1:15:29] different

[1:15:29] show

[1:15:29] that's sort

[1:15:30] of a how

[1:15:30] that's sort

[1:15:31] of a stuff

[1:15:32] you should

[1:15:32] know

[1:15:32] kind of

[1:15:33] show

[1:15:34] that i

[1:15:34] just made

[1:15:34] up in

[1:15:35] my mind

[1:15:35] um

[1:15:36] uh

[1:15:38] i probably

[1:15:38] sure it

[1:15:38] was not a

[1:15:39] freudian slip

[1:15:40] we're not

[1:15:41] rivals

[1:15:41] i was not

[1:15:42] trying to

[1:15:43] throw how

[1:15:43] did this

[1:15:44] get made

[1:15:44] under the

[1:15:45] podcasting

[1:15:46] bus

[1:15:46] uh

[1:15:47] anyway

[1:15:48] this is a

[1:15:48] great value

[1:15:49] one ticket

[1:15:49] gets you

[1:15:50] all access

[1:15:50] to 25

[1:15:52] live shows

[1:15:52] throughout the

[1:15:53] weekend

[1:15:53] 25 live

[1:15:55] shows

[1:15:55] from one

[1:15:56] ticket

[1:15:56] and the

[1:15:57] first 100

[1:15:57] people to

[1:15:58] use our

[1:15:58] offer

[1:15:58] code

[1:15:58] flop

[1:15:59] at

[1:15:59] checkout

[1:15:59] save

[1:16:00] 20

[1:16:01] bucks

[1:16:01] now

[1:16:02] hear

[1:16:02] this

[1:16:02] is

[1:16:02] september

[1:16:03] 8th

[1:16:03] through

[1:16:03] 10th

[1:16:04] in new

[1:16:04] york

[1:16:04] city

[1:16:04] come see

[1:16:05] great

[1:16:05] podcasts

[1:16:05] meet the

[1:16:06] hosts

[1:16:06] and make

[1:16:06] some new

[1:16:07] friends

[1:16:07] go to

[1:16:08] now hear

[1:16:08] this

[1:16:08] fest

[1:16:09] dot com

[1:16:09] to get

[1:16:09] your tickets

[1:16:10] that's

[1:16:10] now hear

[1:16:10] this

[1:16:11] fest

[1:16:11] dot com

[1:16:12] and enter

[1:16:12] offer

[1:16:12] code

[1:16:12] flop

[1:16:13] at

[1:16:13] checkout

[1:16:14] to save

[1:16:14] 20

[1:16:14] bucks

[1:16:15] so

[1:16:18] yeah

[1:16:18] our podcast

[1:16:20] is doing

[1:16:20] that show

[1:16:21] Elliot

[1:16:21] will not

[1:16:21] be there

[1:16:22] Elliot

[1:16:22] will not

[1:16:23] be

[1:16:23] at the

[1:16:24] now hear

[1:16:24] this

[1:16:24] podcast

[1:16:25] festival

[1:16:26] but

[1:16:28] we will

[1:16:29] hopefully

[1:16:29] have

[1:16:30] correspondent

[1:16:30] from the

[1:16:31] daily show

[1:16:32] ronnie

[1:16:32] chang

[1:16:33] stepping

[1:16:34] in

[1:16:34] for him

[1:16:34] i say

[1:16:35] hopefully

[1:16:35] because

[1:16:35] at this

[1:16:36] moment

[1:16:36] we're

[1:16:37] trying to

[1:16:38] get our

[1:16:38] time

[1:16:40] pushed

[1:16:40] back

[1:16:41] at the

[1:16:41] festival

[1:16:41] because

[1:16:42] ronnie

[1:16:43] is going

[1:16:43] to be

[1:16:43] coming

[1:16:44] in

[1:16:44] flying

[1:16:45] in

[1:16:45] from a

[1:16:46] stand-up

[1:16:46] gig

[1:16:47] in another

[1:16:47] state

[1:16:48] and it

[1:16:48] will be

[1:16:49] tight

[1:16:49] the time

[1:16:50] will be

[1:16:51] tight

[1:16:51] so we

[1:16:51] are trying

[1:16:52] to get

[1:16:52] everything

[1:16:53] squared

[1:16:53] away

[1:16:54] but

[1:16:55] hopefully

[1:16:57] that will

[1:16:57] all work

[1:16:57] out

[1:16:58] and if

[1:16:58] not

[1:16:58] we have

[1:16:59] a very

[1:16:59] great

[1:17:00] backup

[1:17:00] guest

[1:17:01] worked

[1:17:01] out

[1:17:02] so those

[1:17:04] are all

[1:17:05] the messages

[1:17:05] for this

[1:17:06] week

[1:17:07] other than

[1:17:07] I want

[1:17:07] to remind

[1:17:08] people again

[1:17:08] that the

[1:17:09] Flophouse is

[1:17:10] coming to

[1:17:10] the west

[1:17:10] coast

[1:17:11] on October

[1:17:13] 8th

[1:17:13] LA region

[1:17:14] theater

[1:17:14] and on

[1:17:15] December

[1:17:17] the 9th

[1:17:18] the San

[1:17:19] Francisco

[1:17:19] Marines

[1:17:20] Memorial

[1:17:20] Theater

[1:17:21] there's also

[1:17:22] a Toronto

[1:17:23] show in

[1:17:23] there that

[1:17:24] has been

[1:17:24] sold out

[1:17:25] so don't

[1:17:25] snore on

[1:17:26] these

[1:17:28] tickets

[1:17:28] and now

[1:17:30] back

[1:17:31] to the

[1:17:31] show

[1:17:32] other

[1:17:37] than that

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:37] 10 years

[1:17:38] of the

[1:17:38] Flophouse

[1:17:39] that's

[1:17:39] crazy

[1:17:39] and we

[1:17:39] have

[1:17:40] some

[1:17:40] listener

[1:17:40] messages

[1:17:40] that want

[1:17:41] to tell

[1:17:42] us

[1:17:42] hey it's

[1:17:43] me not

[1:17:44] Dan

[1:17:44] I mean

[1:17:45] I'm Dan

[1:17:45] I mean

[1:17:46] no I'm

[1:17:47] not Dan

[1:17:47] and I think

[1:17:48] Dan's the

[1:17:48] best

[1:17:48] thanks Dan

[1:17:49] for 10

[1:17:49] years of

[1:17:50] being the

[1:17:50] coolest

[1:17:50] dude

[1:17:51] and super

[1:17:51] sexy

[1:17:52] bye

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:52] wow

[1:17:54] okay

[1:17:54] cool

[1:17:55] and super

[1:17:56] sexy

[1:17:56] normally

[1:17:57] those things

[1:17:57] are mutually

[1:17:58] exclusive

[1:17:59] and yet

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:00] Dan pulls

[1:18:00] it off

[1:18:01] according to

[1:18:01] not Dan

[1:18:02] so what's

Dan McCoy

[1:18:04] up next

[1:18:05] I guess

[1:18:05] it's like

[1:18:06] Norse or

[1:18:06] something

[1:18:07] yeah

[1:18:07] anyway

[1:18:08] this is

[1:18:10] what's up

[1:18:11] next is

[1:18:11] letters from

[1:18:11] listeners

[1:18:12] listeners like

[1:18:13] you

[1:18:13] yeah

[1:18:14] come on

[1:18:15] get on the

[1:18:15] fucking trolley

[1:18:16] guys

[1:18:17] listeners like

[1:18:18] you

[1:18:18] what other

[1:18:19] kind of

[1:18:19] listeners would

[1:18:20] there be

[1:18:20] you're the

[1:18:21] only ones

[1:18:21] out there

[1:18:22] you're

[1:18:22] listening

[1:18:23] to us

[1:18:24] and you

[1:18:25] sent us

[1:18:25] a letter

[1:18:25] god damn

[1:18:26] it

[1:18:26] what do you

[1:18:26] forget that

[1:18:27] you sent us

[1:18:27] a letter

[1:18:28] come on

[1:18:30] anyway

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:31] hey everybody

[1:18:33] it's time

[1:18:34] for a song

[1:18:34] to kind of

[1:18:35] smooth things

[1:18:35] over when

[1:18:36] Dan gets

[1:18:37] mad

[1:18:38] sometimes Dan

[1:18:39] says things

[1:18:40] that he

[1:18:40] doesn't believe

[1:18:41] and he

[1:18:42] doesn't mean

[1:18:43] Dan's just

[1:18:44] feeling a little

[1:18:45] green

[1:18:46] that's

[1:18:47] envious

[1:18:47] plus he's

[1:18:48] been drinking

[1:18:48] again

[1:18:50] when the

[1:18:50] mean part

[1:18:51] of Dan

[1:18:51] comes out

[1:18:52] to shine

[1:18:53] but we

[1:18:55] think you're

[1:18:56] great

[1:18:56] and your

[1:18:57] letters are

[1:18:57] first rate

[1:18:58] keep sending

[1:18:58] them in

[1:18:59] keep listening

[1:19:00] in

[1:19:01] don't listen

[1:19:02] to Dan

[1:19:03] when he says

[1:19:04] those mean

[1:19:04] things

[1:19:05] it's just

[1:19:05] a monster

[1:19:06] inside of

[1:19:07] Dan

[1:19:07] that makes

[1:19:08] him say

[1:19:09] those things

[1:19:10] it's named

[1:19:10] Pennywise

[1:19:11] and it's

[1:19:12] appearing in

[1:19:13] the upcoming

[1:19:13] film

[1:19:14] It

[1:19:14] It is a

[1:19:16] movie about

[1:19:17] a clown

[1:19:17] who starts

[1:19:18] killing kids

[1:19:19] in a great

[1:19:20] small town

[1:19:20] that clown's

[1:19:22] name is

[1:19:22] Pennywise

[1:19:23] and he

[1:19:23] lives in

[1:19:24] Dan

[1:19:25] what a

[1:19:26] crazy man

Dan McCoy

[1:19:27] that's a

[1:19:29] better song

[1:19:29] than any

[1:19:30] of the

[1:19:30] songs

[1:19:30] in

[1:19:31] Ishtar

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:31] sadly

[1:19:33] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:19:33] so

[1:19:35] first letter

[1:19:37] of the

[1:19:37] evening

[1:19:37] is from

[1:19:38] Dave

[1:19:38] last name

[1:19:39] withheld

[1:19:39] Dave

[1:19:40] Matthews

[1:19:41] of the

[1:19:42] eponymous

[1:19:42] band

[1:19:43] who writes

[1:19:44] back in

[1:19:45] 1995

[1:19:46] my girlfriend

[1:19:47] now wife

[1:19:48] said regarding

[1:19:49] our next

[1:19:49] date

[1:19:50] quote

[1:19:51] it's my

[1:19:51] turn to

[1:19:52] treat

[1:19:52] you pick

[1:19:53] the movie

[1:19:53] being a

[1:19:54] 20 year

[1:19:55] old in

[1:19:55] 1995

[1:19:56] I was

[1:19:56] just like

[1:19:57] the hugest

[1:19:58] Tarantino

[1:19:58] fan ever

[1:19:59] so I

[1:20:00] picked

[1:20:00] destiny

[1:20:01] turns on

[1:20:01] the radio

[1:20:02] that's

[1:20:03] right

[1:20:03] I saw

[1:20:04] this movie

[1:20:04] in the

[1:20:04] theater

[1:20:05] and someone

[1:20:05] else

[1:20:06] paid

[1:20:06] for it

[1:20:07] how I

[1:20:08] was not

[1:20:08] immediately

[1:20:08] single

[1:20:09] following

[1:20:09] said

[1:20:10] date

[1:20:10] still

[1:20:10] remains

[1:20:11] a

[1:20:11] mystery

[1:20:11] so I

[1:20:13] ask you

[1:20:13] dear

[1:20:13] floppers

[1:20:14] have you

[1:20:14] ever

[1:20:15] suggested

[1:20:15] something

[1:20:15] based on

[1:20:16] past

[1:20:16] enjoyment

[1:20:17] of

[1:20:17] someone's

[1:20:17] work

[1:20:18] that

[1:20:18] was so

[1:20:18] bad

[1:20:18] you

[1:20:18] had to

[1:20:19] apologize

[1:20:19] repeatedly

[1:20:20] for

[1:20:20] subjecting

[1:20:21] others

[1:20:21] to it

[1:20:21] thanks

[1:20:22] Dave

[1:20:23] last name

[1:20:23] withheld

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:24] I don't

[1:20:26] know if

[1:20:26] this is

[1:20:27] exactly

[1:20:27] the same

[1:20:27] situation

[1:20:28] but my

[1:20:29] wife has

[1:20:29] still never

[1:20:30] seen the

[1:20:31] original

[1:20:31] series of

[1:20:32] Mr.

[1:20:32] Show

[1:20:32] and when

[1:20:34] the Bob

[1:20:35] and David

[1:20:35] sketch show

[1:20:36] on Netflix

[1:20:36] started up

[1:20:37] I watched

[1:20:38] the first

[1:20:38] episode or

[1:20:39] two of it

[1:20:39] and I was

[1:20:39] like this

[1:20:40] is hilarious

[1:20:40] and Danielle

[1:20:42] was like

[1:20:42] my wife

[1:20:43] was like

[1:20:43] hey I've

[1:20:44] heard of that

[1:20:45] show

[1:20:45] I'll give

[1:20:45] it a try

[1:20:45] and we

[1:20:48] watched the

[1:20:49] episode that

[1:20:49] opens with

[1:20:50] a long

[1:20:50] bit

[1:20:51] equating

[1:20:51] terrorists

[1:20:52] with

[1:20:53] Hollywood

[1:20:54] executives

[1:20:54] and it

[1:20:55] has a bunch

[1:20:56] of

[1:20:57] terrorists

[1:20:58] sitting in

[1:20:58] spagos

[1:20:59] talking about

[1:21:00] terror and

[1:21:01] box office

[1:21:01] and things

[1:21:02] like that

[1:21:02] and it

[1:21:03] is the

[1:21:04] least funny

[1:21:05] thing

[1:21:05] Bob Odenkirk

[1:21:06] and Dave

[1:21:07] Cross

[1:21:07] have ever

[1:21:07] done

[1:21:08] and I

[1:21:09] was sitting

[1:21:09] there with

[1:21:09] her and

[1:21:10] I was

[1:21:10] like

[1:21:10] trust me

[1:21:12] this is

[1:21:12] not what

[1:21:12] the show

[1:21:13] is usually

[1:21:13] like

[1:21:13] and luckily

[1:21:14] right after

[1:21:15] that

[1:21:15] there are

[1:21:15] a bunch

[1:21:15] of

[1:21:15] hilarious

[1:21:16] sketches

[1:21:16] in it

[1:21:17] there's

[1:21:17] a great

[1:21:18] sketch

[1:21:18] where people

[1:21:18] are trying

[1:21:18] to write

[1:21:19] a musical

[1:21:19] about a

[1:21:19] house

[1:21:20] and there's

[1:21:20] a scene

[1:21:21] where someone's

[1:21:21] trying to return

[1:21:22] clothes that have

[1:21:22] stains on them

[1:21:23] from the dry

[1:21:23] cleaners

[1:21:24] both hilarious

[1:21:25] but for the

[1:21:26] like a few

[1:21:27] minutes I was

[1:21:27] with sitting

[1:21:28] next door being

[1:21:28] like

[1:21:28] is this

[1:21:29] so that her

[1:21:30] first taste

[1:21:31] of this show

[1:21:31] that's like

[1:21:32] a seminal

[1:21:32] show to me

[1:21:33] this reunion

[1:21:34] show

[1:21:35] is like

[1:21:36] gonna be

[1:21:36] literally the

[1:21:37] worst sketch

[1:21:38] I think

[1:21:38] they've ever

[1:21:38] done

[1:21:39] and just so

[1:21:40] unfunny

[1:21:40] and I felt

[1:21:40] really bad

[1:21:41] I didn't

[1:21:42] apologize

[1:21:42] but I was

[1:21:43] like let's

[1:21:43] keep watching

[1:21:44] I'm sure

[1:21:44] it'll get

[1:21:44] better

[1:21:44] and it did

Dan McCoy

[1:21:46] I couldn't

[1:21:47] think of

[1:21:47] anything that

[1:21:47] was based

[1:21:48] on like

[1:21:49] previous

[1:21:51] like I

[1:21:51] couldn't

[1:21:51] think of

[1:21:51] something

[1:21:52] that was

[1:21:52] based on

[1:21:52] like I

[1:21:53] like this

[1:21:53] person

[1:21:53] in the

[1:21:54] past

[1:21:54] so I'm

[1:21:55] gonna

[1:21:55] inflict

[1:21:56] this

[1:21:56] horrible

[1:21:57] thing

[1:21:57] on

[1:21:58] a new

[1:21:59] person

[1:21:59] like

[1:21:59] the only

[1:21:59] thing I

[1:22:00] can think

[1:22:00] of

[1:22:00] was

[1:22:00] when I

[1:22:02] was dating

[1:22:03] Sarah

[1:22:04] in college

[1:22:08] I was

[1:22:09] like

[1:22:09] hey

[1:22:10] you know

[1:22:10] what looks

[1:22:10] good

[1:22:11] just based

[1:22:12] on the

[1:22:12] trailers

[1:22:12] just based

[1:22:13] Final Fantasy

[1:22:15] The Spirits

[1:22:16] Within

[1:22:16] that's

[1:22:17] a crazy

[1:22:18] thing to

[1:22:18] do

[1:22:19] because at

[1:22:21] the time

[1:22:21] it was just

[1:22:23] visually stunning

[1:22:24] at the time

[1:22:25] like there

[1:22:25] wasn't something

[1:22:26] that amazing

[1:22:28] in terms of

[1:22:29] and the voice

[1:22:29] talents of

[1:22:30] Donald Sutherland

[1:22:31] how do you

[1:22:31] say no

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:32] yeah and

[1:22:32] you're like

Dan McCoy

[1:22:33] you just

[1:22:35] got done

[1:22:35] playing Final

[1:22:36] Fantasy 7

[1:22:36] and I'm

[1:22:37] liking all

[1:22:37] the fucking

[1:22:38] summons

[1:22:39] and

[1:22:39] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:40] and chocobos

[1:22:41] up against

[1:22:41] Sephiroth

Dan McCoy

[1:22:42] and we

[1:22:43] watched it

[1:22:43] and it

[1:22:44] is like

[1:22:44] the most

[1:22:45] bullshit

[1:22:46] like weird

[1:22:47] anime style

[1:22:49] plotting

[1:22:51] that you

[1:22:51] could imagine

[1:22:52] and for

[1:22:54] years afterwards

[1:22:55] I would

[1:22:55] apologize

[1:22:56] for taking

[1:22:56] her to

[1:22:57] see Final

[1:22:57] Fantasy

[1:22:58] The Spirits

[1:22:58] Within

[1:22:58] and she

[1:23:01] would always

[1:23:01] be like

[1:23:01] no it

[1:23:02] wasn't so

[1:23:02] bad

[1:23:03] but it

[1:23:04] hurt me

[1:23:04] I'm like

[1:23:06] no it

[1:23:07] was that

[1:23:07] bad

[1:23:07] I should

[1:23:09] be punished

[1:23:10] for this

[1:23:11] decision

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:12] yeah

[1:23:12] anytime

[1:23:12] you give

[1:23:13] her

[1:23:13] any

[1:23:13] kind

[1:23:13] of

[1:23:13] a

[1:23:13] gift

[1:23:14] and

[1:23:14] you

[1:23:15] see

[1:23:15] a

[1:23:15] look

[1:23:15] in

[1:23:15] her

[1:23:15] eyes

[1:23:16] you

[1:23:16] would

[1:23:16] think

[1:23:17] is she

[1:23:17] thinking

[1:23:17] about

[1:23:18] finally

[1:23:18] seeing

[1:23:19] the

[1:23:19] of

[1:23:19] it

Elliott Kalan

[1:23:20] reminds me of

[1:23:20] when Superman Returns came out

[1:23:22] and my wife and I just started dating

[1:23:24] and I was like I'm going to go see the Superman movie and it was a really

[1:23:27] gross hot day in New York and she was like I'll go see it with you it'll be air conditioning and I was like

[1:23:30] all right I can kind of guarantee you're not going to enjoy this movie I'm not even sure I'm going to like it she's like no no it's fine I'll go and she hated it and for years after she'd be like well I did go see Superman Returns with you and I was like whoa I gave you fair warning I told you ahead of time you shouldn't see this it's not going to be something you like yeah I can't really think of a good example of this I mean there's been a lot of times where I've just

Stuart Wellington

[1:23:56] completely misjudged my wife's interest in things or my parents interest in things but uh

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:05] you you talked to me about when you and your wife went to see Green Room

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:08] yeah when uh so I took her to see Green Room and I had like I had obviously seen Murder Party and uh and Blue Ruin and those are both let's say difficult movies but not necessarily I mean I guess they can

[1:24:26] they're they're pretty violent but not like gruesome no not they're not Green Room so we I took her to see this early screening because the director was going to be there and uh so we're sitting there watching it and she made it about 15 minutes into the movie before she had to put her hands over her eyes for the remainder of the movie and the only thing I can say is that in the cab uh going home she at least admitted it

[1:24:56] it was a good movie she just didn't like it that's fair uh this next lover is from Caleb last name withheld

Dan McCoy

[1:25:04] Caleb Carr author of the alienist yeah wow Caleb writes in a previous episode Elliot mentioned that he has a distinctive rivalry with Justin McElroy

[1:25:15] what happened to your bitter bitter antagonism towards John Hodgman Stuart since I can't be your best friend you already have at least two of them

[1:25:23] can I be your nemesis instead

[1:25:25] sure

[1:25:26] Dan why haven't you switched all your social media profile pics to show photos with you with your beard

[1:25:31] it makes you look like a sexy English professor

[1:25:33] well

[1:25:34] the beard is gone right now it's a seasonal beard but thank you for the

Elliott Kalan

[1:25:37] if you were wearing a beard in this weather you'd be dead

[1:25:41] yeah

[1:25:41] let me hold on let me ask uh Dr. Evazan uh

[1:25:45] if Dan uh decides to

[1:25:47] just tell Dan

[1:25:48] if Dan decides to grow a beard in this weather uh

[1:25:51] what'll happen to him Dr. Evazan

[1:25:52] you'll be dead

[1:25:53] because that's the line he says in Star Wars

[1:25:56] you know

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:57] that was a bit of a walk around the block

[1:25:59] I like what happened

Dan McCoy

[1:26:02] I guess the main question though is what happened to your feud with Judge John Hodgman

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:06] uh it's still kind of there

[1:26:08] yeah

[1:26:09] I mean we have we it's but it's you know it's all kayfabe dude

[1:26:11] you know like uh

[1:26:12] I don't want to talk about it at school but

[1:26:14] a lot of it's just performance

[1:26:16] you know

[1:26:16] oh okay

[1:26:17] I don't want to break kayfabe though

[1:26:18] yeah me and John Judge John Hodgman

[1:26:20] ooh we don't like each other

[1:26:21] me and Justin McElroy

[1:26:22] oh boy what a bad dude

[1:26:24] mm-hmm

[1:26:24] yeah

Stuart Wellington

[1:26:25] I mean somebody can be my bad dude

[1:26:28] somebody can kid one of the bad dudes from Bad Dude

Dan McCoy

[1:26:31] um

[1:26:33] so I hope that answers your question I guess

[1:26:36] uh the next question is from Aaron last name withheld

[1:26:40] Brockovich

[1:26:41] oh Aaron

[1:26:42] wait is it Aaron or Aaron

[1:26:43] Aaron

[1:26:44] that

[1:26:45] I'm still not sure

[1:26:46] okay just ask the question

[1:26:48] Aaron

[1:26:48] does that help

[1:26:50] spell it

[1:26:51] Aaron

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:51] spell it

[1:26:53] E-R-I-N

[1:26:55] okay thank you Aaron

[1:26:56] okay

[1:26:56] okay Aaron Gabra

Dan McCoy

[1:26:57] no that sounds more like Aaron

[1:26:59] no Aaron or Aaron

[1:27:01] yeah I said Aaron

[1:27:02] yeah that sounds like Aaron

[1:27:04] Aaron

[1:27:05] not Aaron

[1:27:06] well that's how you're saying it

[1:27:08] no

[1:27:09] wait

[1:27:09] so if you met a dude named Aaron

Stuart Wellington

[1:27:14] that's how you can say it

[1:27:16] they'd be like

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:16] hey

[1:27:17] hey

[1:27:17] you'd like to stand to your chair

[1:27:18] over pronouncing it

[1:27:20] hey uh Dan you want to meet Aaron Eckhart

[1:27:22] from uh

[1:27:23] from the bat

[1:27:23] from that second Batman movie

[1:27:24] it's great to meet you

[1:27:25] Aaron

[1:27:26] there's Aaron

Dan McCoy

[1:27:29] and there's Aaron

[1:27:31] and I was saying the latter

[1:27:33] okay well now we know

[1:27:34] no one has the battle

[1:27:35] G.I. Joe

[1:27:36] uh

[1:27:37] I recently spent an entire day

[1:27:40] creating

[1:27:40] YA

[1:27:41] a YA dystopia

[1:27:43] random generator

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:44] YA dystopia

[1:27:45] heyo

Dan McCoy

[1:27:47] thanks Croucho

[1:27:48] and when you mentioned

[1:27:50] terrible YA movies

[1:27:51] when discussing

[1:27:52] Max Magician

[1:27:53] it made me wonder

[1:27:53] if your life was a YA dystopia

[1:27:56] or typical YA movie

[1:27:58] what would it be

[1:27:58] who would you be on the run from

[1:28:00] and what's the arbitrary thing

[1:28:02] that the evil government

[1:28:03] shadow corporation

[1:28:04] slash corporate overlords

[1:28:06] slash aliens band

[1:28:07] that would get you to start

[1:28:08] the revolution

[1:28:09] butts

[1:28:10] beer

[1:28:11] movies from before 1950

[1:28:13] the horror

[1:28:14] love you all's podcast

[1:28:16] and though I live nowhere

[1:28:16] near New York City

[1:28:18] I hope to some day

[1:28:18] visit the Hinterlands Bar

[1:28:20] and meet you all

[1:28:20] yeah

[1:28:21] sincerely Aaron

[1:28:22] last name withheld

[1:28:23] I think Aaron

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:24] partially answered the question right

Elliott Kalan

[1:28:26] yeah already did

[1:28:27] although I would say

[1:28:27] jokes

[1:28:28] in the future

[1:28:29] jokes are illegal

[1:28:31] and it's up to the comedy squad

[1:28:33] to save America

[1:28:34] from itself

[1:28:36] it's pretty good

[1:28:38] in a world

[1:28:38] where laughing

[1:28:40] can get you killed

[1:28:41] the most dangerous joke of all

[1:28:44] is

[1:28:45] this one

[1:28:47] this one

[1:28:49] so

[1:28:49] a man walks into a bar

[1:28:51] okay

[1:28:52] ouch

[1:28:53] oh no

[1:28:57] that's the

[1:28:57] uh oh

[1:28:58] I'm gonna be arrested

[1:28:59] for comedy crime

[1:29:00] yep

Dan McCoy

[1:29:00] there's only a precog

[1:29:03] that could have saved me

[1:29:04] from that joke

[1:29:04] uh

Stuart Wellington

[1:29:05] Dan what do you think

[1:29:08] with uh

[1:29:08] in your dystopia

[1:29:09] no I think

[1:29:10] what's illegal

[1:29:11] butts

Dan McCoy

[1:29:11] I think she got it

[1:29:12] with butts

[1:29:12] I think the surgeon general

[1:29:14] has eliminated butts

[1:29:15] okay

[1:29:16] from the human body

[1:29:17] they just remove them

[1:29:18] at birth

[1:29:18] yeah

[1:29:19] at birth

[1:29:20] there's no butts

[1:29:20] and then there's

[1:29:21] there uh

[1:29:22] there's normies

[1:29:23] who have no butts

[1:29:25] okay

[1:29:25] and then there's

[1:29:26] this is a normie to me

[1:29:28] dude

[1:29:28] well no

[1:29:29] in this

[1:29:30] in this topsy-turvy world

[1:29:31] the normies have no butts

[1:29:33] and then there's the

[1:29:34] butt criminals

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:35] in the future

[1:29:37] those with butts

Dan McCoy

[1:29:38] no it's the opening

[1:29:39] scrawl

[1:29:39] it's just

[1:29:40] it's on the back

[1:29:41] of an envelope

[1:29:42] it's I mean

Elliott Kalan

[1:29:43] it sounds like

[1:29:44] it would be

[1:29:44] those with butts

[1:29:46] are derisively

[1:29:47] referred to as

[1:29:47] dares

[1:29:48] short for

[1:29:49] derrieres

[1:29:50] or hole havers

[1:29:53] so is it

[1:29:55] the whole

[1:29:56] like the anus

[1:29:56] is gone

[1:29:57] where do you poop

[1:29:58] out of

[1:29:58] or it's just

[1:29:58] the fleshy part

[1:29:59] just the gluteus

[1:30:00] yeah you push it

[1:30:01] back up out of your

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:02] mouth like

[1:30:02] everyone has a

[1:30:03] cloaca

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:03] oh

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:05] okay

[1:30:06] and does

[1:30:06] does double duty

[1:30:07] yeah

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:08] that's the name

[1:30:09] of the movie

[1:30:09] double duty

[1:30:10] that's great

[1:30:12] what if double dragon

[1:30:13] was called double duty

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:14] I think it would go

[1:30:16] a little something

[1:30:16] like this

[1:30:17] it'd probably be

[1:30:19] a less successful

[1:30:19] video game franchise

[1:30:21] instead of

[1:30:21] a more successful

[1:30:22] movie franchise

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:23] I think you're right

[1:30:24] and strew

[1:30:25] what would they ban

[1:30:25] for you

Stuart Wellington

[1:30:25] um yeah I mean

[1:30:27] I think uh

[1:30:28] I think uh

[1:30:29] beer's a good answer

[1:30:30] tabletop gaming

[1:30:31] I feel like comic books

[1:30:32] is another good one

[1:30:33] oh yeah

[1:30:34] like that's another

[1:30:35] silly one

[1:30:36] where it's like

[1:30:37] wait really

[1:30:39] that's what they're

[1:30:39] banning and people

[1:30:40] are freaking out

Elliott Kalan

[1:30:41] I love how many

[1:30:42] rock and roll

[1:30:42] concept things there

[1:30:43] are where rock and

[1:30:44] roll has been banned

[1:30:45] and it's like

[1:30:46] yeah cause that's

[1:30:47] the only thing

[1:30:48] between us

[1:30:49] and total

[1:30:49] over totalitarian

[1:30:51] domination is rock

[1:30:52] and roll

[1:30:52] thanks sticks

[1:30:53] yeah

[1:30:54] yes sticks

[1:30:55] you're the one thing

[1:30:56] keeping us from

[1:30:56] falling over the

[1:30:57] precipice

[1:30:58] the precipice

[1:30:59] oh man

[1:31:01] oh I can't even

[1:31:02] say the word

[1:31:03] Dan

[1:31:03] can you say that

[1:31:04] word for me

[1:31:05] precipice

[1:31:06] thank you

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:07] uh

[1:31:07] yeah I mean

[1:31:09] yeah the

[1:31:10] totality

[1:31:11] totality

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:12] oh man

[1:31:14] after 10 years

[1:31:14] our tongues

[1:31:15] are dissolving

[1:31:15] what happened

[1:31:16] oh no

[1:31:16] did I infect you

[1:31:17] the jewel in my

[1:31:18] palm is glowing

[1:31:19] I've reached the

[1:31:21] end of my lifetime

Stuart Wellington

[1:31:22] but the totalitarian

[1:31:24] government

[1:31:25] they should just

[1:31:26] give it time

[1:31:27] and like rock

[1:31:28] will kill itself

[1:31:29] right

[1:31:29] yeah it'll get

[1:31:30] all bloated

[1:31:31] it'll get replaced

[1:31:32] with other stuff

[1:31:32] yeah hip hop

[1:31:33] whatever

[1:31:34] is that

[1:31:35] what do kids

[1:31:36] even listen to

[1:31:36] nowadays

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:38] Skrillex

[1:31:39] do they still

[1:31:40] listen to Skrillex

[1:31:41] that guy

[1:31:41] okay

[1:31:42] I think YouTube

[1:31:43] celebs talking

[1:31:44] about their makeup

[1:31:45] sure

[1:31:45] unboxing things

[1:31:47] yeah

[1:31:47] the unboxings

[1:31:49] mm-hmm

[1:31:51] unboxing day

[1:31:52] they do

[1:31:53] all their

[1:31:54] unboxing videos

[1:31:55] oh boy

[1:31:55] how long do you think

[1:31:56] until there's an

[1:31:57] unboxing video

[1:31:58] based horror movie

[1:31:59] what do you think

[1:32:00] would happen

[1:32:01] in that horror movie

Dan McCoy

[1:32:02] they open up a box

[1:32:02] and something scary

[1:32:03] is inside

[1:32:04] oh so it's like

[1:32:04] the crepe

[1:32:05] from creep show

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:06] or the crepe

[1:32:07] from the movie

[1:32:08] the crepe

Dan McCoy

[1:32:08] or the cape

[1:32:10] from the show

[1:32:10] the cape

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:11] we have to get on

[1:32:13] that guys

[1:32:13] it's an unboxing

[1:32:14] horror movie

[1:32:15] yeah somebody else

[1:32:16] is going to do it

[1:32:16] before us

[1:32:17] we should do it

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:17] okay that's the title

[1:32:18] of it

[1:32:18] unboxing

[1:32:19] or unboxed

[1:32:20] unboxed

[1:32:22] and then it's

[1:32:23] and the tagline

[1:32:23] is just don't

[1:32:24] open it

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:25] okay we're already

[1:32:27] halfway there

[1:32:27] now we just need

[1:32:28] to write a script

[1:32:29] and cast it

[1:32:29] and then shoot it

[1:32:30] that's the easy part

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:31] Dan any other letters

Dan McCoy

[1:32:33] just one quick

[1:32:34] last letter

[1:32:35] from Skyler

[1:32:35] last name withheld

[1:32:36] you got nothing

[1:32:38] for that huh

[1:32:39] Skyler

[1:32:40] Colfax

[1:32:42] from Breaking Bad

[1:32:43] Skyler from Breaking Bad

[1:32:43] Skyler White

[1:32:44] yeah

[1:32:44] hi floppers

[1:32:46] I was recently

[1:32:47] listening to your episode

[1:32:48] on saving Christmas

[1:32:49] in which you mentioned

[1:32:51] gogurt

[1:32:51] I googled it

[1:32:53] to see if it was

[1:32:53] still around

[1:32:54] and found out

[1:32:55] that yes

[1:32:55] it is still being made

[1:32:56] and more importantly

[1:32:57] that in the UK

[1:32:58] it is called

[1:32:59] Froob's

[1:33:00] what

[1:33:01] just thought you'd like

[1:33:02] to know that

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:03] what is that

[1:33:04] a portmanteau

[1:33:04] Skyler last name

[1:33:05] with them

[1:33:05] what could that

[1:33:06] possibly be a portmanteau

[1:33:07] Froob's

[1:33:08] Froob's

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:09] so food

[1:33:10] fruit

[1:33:11] dudes

[1:33:12] is it

[1:33:13] Frooda

[1:33:14] or Froobuh

[1:33:15] Froob's

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:16] Froob's

[1:33:16] like

[1:33:17] Froob's

[1:33:18] so fruit

[1:33:19] and boobs

[1:33:20] fruit and tubes

[1:33:21] I guess that is

[1:33:22] what it is

[1:33:22] finally fruit

[1:33:23] in a tube

[1:33:24] which is just

[1:33:24] a banana

[1:33:25] fruit

[1:33:26] boobs

[1:33:27] and tubes

[1:33:27] that's the sequel

[1:33:29] to Diners

[1:33:29] Drive-ins

[1:33:30] and Dives

[1:33:31] with like

[1:33:32] Guy Fieri

[1:33:32] has gone insane

[1:33:33] I'm driving

[1:33:35] to Man of America

[1:33:36] looking for the best

[1:33:37] fruit

[1:33:37] tubes

[1:33:38] and boobs

[1:33:39] I'm here

[1:33:42] at Bethlehem

[1:33:43] Pipeworks

[1:33:44] where steel

[1:33:45] is made

[1:33:45] into pipes

[1:33:46] those are tubes

[1:33:47] and then it's

[1:33:49] on to Beaver's

[1:33:50] the local strip club

[1:33:51] for boobs

[1:33:52] then I'm gonna

[1:33:54] hit up a local

[1:33:54] farmer's market

Stuart Wellington

[1:33:55] and they're

[1:33:56] mixed fruit

[1:33:57] medley

[1:33:57] now I'm gonna

[1:33:59] go apple picking

S5

[1:34:00] and he goes

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:08] into a big

[1:34:09] factory

[1:34:09] and he's like

[1:34:09] hey man

[1:34:10] these are such

[1:34:10] cool tubes

[1:34:11] you know how

[1:34:11] I'd make this tube

[1:34:12] I'd wrap it in

[1:34:13] titanium

[1:34:13] like a quarter

[1:34:14] inch thick

[1:34:15] that'll make

[1:34:16] it real strong

[1:34:16] that'll be a

[1:34:17] good tube

[1:34:18] I'll be going

[1:34:21] to a production

[1:34:21] of Blue Man

[1:34:22] Group's

[1:34:22] hit show

[1:34:22] Tubes

[1:34:23] oh boy

Dan McCoy

[1:34:25] so Froob's

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:28] thanks for that

[1:34:28] good news

[1:34:30] good news

[1:34:31] did you hear

[1:34:31] the good news

[1:34:31] about Froob's

[1:34:32] I have

[1:34:34] he's been

[1:34:34] converted

Dan McCoy

[1:34:35] so the last

[1:34:37] thing that we

[1:34:38] normally do on

[1:34:39] the show

[1:34:39] is to

[1:34:40] recommend movies

[1:34:42] movies that we

[1:34:43] might like to see

[1:34:44] instead of

[1:34:45] whatever the fuck

[1:34:47] we watched

[1:34:47] Ishtar

[1:34:48] Ishtar

[1:34:48] Stewart seems

[1:34:50] to not

[1:34:51] have anything

[1:34:52] I can go

[1:34:53] first

[1:34:53] if you need

[1:34:53] me to

[1:34:54] I

Stuart Wellington

[1:34:54] you know

[1:34:55] I

[1:34:56] I'm about

[1:34:58] halfway

[1:34:58] I'm like

[1:34:59] 30 minutes

[1:34:59] into a movie

[1:35:00] and I don't

[1:35:01] want to

[1:35:01] recommend it

[1:35:02] yet

[1:35:02] because I

[1:35:02] haven't

[1:35:03] finished

[1:35:03] watching it

[1:35:03] so I'm

[1:35:04] just going

[1:35:04] to recommend

[1:35:05] I'm going

[1:35:06] to recommend

[1:35:07] a movie

[1:35:07] from 1973

[1:35:08] titled

[1:35:09] Robin Hood

[1:35:10] animated by

[1:35:11] Disney

[1:35:12] and Don

[1:35:12] Blute

[1:35:13] the sexiest

Dan McCoy

[1:35:14] foxes around

[1:35:15] it's fucking

[1:35:15] great

[1:35:16] until Zootopia

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:17] until Zootopia

[1:35:18] it had the

[1:35:19] sexiest foxes

[1:35:20] around

[1:35:21] well until

[1:35:21] Star Fox

[1:35:22] 64

[1:35:22] I think the

[1:35:24] jury's not out

[1:35:25] on that one

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:26] he rides a

[1:35:27] fighter jet

[1:35:27] spaceship

[1:35:28] I mean it

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:29] depends on what

[1:35:30] you're into

[1:35:30] man

[1:35:31] I'm into

[1:35:31] the fantasy

[1:35:32] stuff

[1:35:33] okay

[1:35:33] the character

[1:35:35] design's

[1:35:35] great

[1:35:36] it's just

[1:35:36] an awesome

[1:35:37] movie

[1:35:37] you should

[1:35:37] go watch

[1:35:38] it

[1:35:38] it's probably

[1:35:39] my favorite

[1:35:39] of the

[1:35:40] older Disney

[1:35:41] animated canon

[1:35:42] really

[1:35:43] yeah

Dan McCoy

[1:35:43] I mean I

[1:35:44] like it

[1:35:45] I certainly

[1:35:45] loved it

[1:35:46] as a kid

[1:35:46] I had an

[1:35:48] obsession

[1:35:48] with Robin Hood

[1:35:49] as a child

[1:35:50] but

[1:35:51] why you're

[1:35:51] a furry

[1:35:52] now

Elliott Kalan

[1:35:52] no shame

[1:35:54] on that

[1:35:55] no come on

[1:35:56] it's Norm's

[1:35:56] now

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:56] that's how Dan

[1:35:57] lives his life

[1:35:57] although I

[1:35:58] wouldn't do it

[1:35:59] now because

[1:35:59] it's fucking

[1:36:00] hot as hell

[1:36:00] right now

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:01] yeah you

[1:36:01] would

[1:36:02] Dr.

[1:36:02] Evazon

[1:36:03] if Dan

[1:36:04] puts on

[1:36:05] his sex

[1:36:05] furry

[1:36:06] costume

[1:36:06] in this

[1:36:06] heat

[1:36:07] how will

[1:36:07] he be

[1:36:08] you'll be

[1:36:08] dead

[1:36:09] oh wow

[1:36:10] well why

[1:36:12] don't we

[1:36:12] invite that

[1:36:13] guy over

[1:36:13] oh because

[1:36:14] he's friends

[1:36:14] with Ponda

[1:36:15] Beva

[1:36:15] and Ponda

[1:36:15] Beva's

[1:36:15] cool

[1:36:16] yeah

[1:36:16] that's

[1:36:18] roughly

[1:36:18] what

[1:36:19] Ponda

[1:36:19] Beva

[1:36:19] sounds

[1:36:19] like

Dan McCoy

[1:36:20] oh

[1:36:22] you're

[1:36:22] looking at

[1:36:23] me

[1:36:23] so I

[1:36:24] haven't

[1:36:25] seen a

[1:36:25] lot

[1:36:25] recently

[1:36:26] but I

[1:36:26] did see

[1:36:26] a little

[1:36:27] movie

[1:36:27] called

[1:36:27] John

[1:36:27] Wick

[1:36:28] 2

[1:36:28] Two

[1:36:29] Shades

[1:36:29] of

[1:36:30] Blue

[1:36:30] and

[1:36:32] it's

[1:36:33] a fun

[1:36:35] action

[1:36:36] film

[1:36:36] you know

[1:36:36] it's

[1:36:37] exactly

[1:36:37] what you

[1:36:38] expect

[1:36:38] out of

[1:36:38] John Wick

[1:36:39] 2

[1:36:39] except for

[1:36:41] I will

[1:36:41] say this

[1:36:42] I was

[1:36:42] talking to

[1:36:42] Elliot

[1:36:43] about it

[1:36:43] like the

[1:36:44] beauty of

[1:36:44] John Wick

[1:36:45] kind of

[1:36:45] is in

[1:36:46] its simplicity

[1:36:46] like this

[1:36:47] guy gets

[1:36:48] his dog

[1:36:49] killed

[1:36:49] and it's

[1:36:50] a classic

[1:36:50] you fucked

[1:36:51] with the

[1:36:51] wrong guy

[1:36:52] scenario

[1:36:52] like

[1:36:53] oh okay

[1:36:54] the fun of

[1:36:55] this is

[1:36:56] seeing all

[1:36:56] of these

[1:36:57] punks

[1:36:58] get outclassed

[1:36:59] by

[1:37:00] the biggest

[1:37:02] fucking

[1:37:03] badass

[1:37:03] in the

[1:37:04] world

[1:37:04] and

[1:37:05] you literally

[1:37:06] just fucked

[1:37:07] with the

[1:37:07] wrong guy

[1:37:08] and

[1:37:08] John Wick

[1:37:09] 2

[1:37:10] takes it

[1:37:11] into a

[1:37:12] turn of

[1:37:13] this more

[1:37:13] baroque

[1:37:14] kind of

[1:37:15] universe

[1:37:16] where everyone

[1:37:17] is an

[1:37:18] assassin

[1:37:19] and fleshes

[1:37:20] out this

[1:37:21] assassin's

[1:37:22] creed

[1:37:24] if you

[1:37:25] will

[1:37:25] the way

[1:37:29] that all

[1:37:29] these

[1:37:30] hired

[1:37:32] killers

[1:37:32] interact

[1:37:33] and their

[1:37:34] code of

[1:37:34] conduct

[1:37:34] and such

[1:37:35] gold

[1:37:35] coin

[1:37:36] yeah

[1:37:37] exactly

[1:37:38] and so

[1:37:39] you're

[1:37:40] moving from

[1:37:41] what's

[1:37:41] basically

[1:37:42] New York

[1:37:42] to LA

[1:37:42] that's where

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:44] I'm moving

[1:37:44] from

[1:37:44] that's too

[1:37:44] bad

Dan McCoy

[1:37:45] an upscale

[1:37:45] sort of

[1:37:46] taken

[1:37:46] scenario

[1:37:47] to this

[1:37:48] really weird

[1:37:49] fantasy

[1:37:49] universe

[1:37:50] where everyone's

[1:37:51] super good

[1:37:52] at killing

[1:37:53] but it's

[1:37:54] still really

[1:37:55] fun

[1:37:55] it's a fun

[1:37:56] action film

[1:37:57] and if you

[1:37:57] like well

[1:37:58] choreographed

[1:37:58] action scenes

[1:37:59] you'll get

[1:38:00] your

[1:38:00] you'll get

[1:38:02] your film

[1:38:02] if you like

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:03] poorly

[1:38:03] choreographed

[1:38:04] action scenes

[1:38:04] ishtar

[1:38:05] yeah

[1:38:05] I'm gonna

[1:38:06] recommend a

[1:38:07] movie that

[1:38:07] had a lot

[1:38:08] of promise

[1:38:08] and doesn't

[1:38:09] quite live

[1:38:10] up to it

[1:38:10] but it's

[1:38:10] still a

[1:38:11] really fun

[1:38:11] movie

[1:38:13] a movie

[1:38:13] called

[1:38:14] Winter

[1:38:14] Kills

[1:38:15] which is

[1:38:16] directed by

[1:38:17] William Rickert

[1:38:18] and it's got

[1:38:18] an amazing

[1:38:18] cast

[1:38:19] stars Jeff

[1:38:19] Bridges in

[1:38:20] the main

[1:38:20] role

[1:38:21] John

[1:38:21] Houston

[1:38:21] Anthony

[1:38:22] Perkins is in

[1:38:23] it

[1:38:23] Eli Wallach

[1:38:24] is in

[1:38:24] it

[1:38:24] Tashira

[1:38:24] Mifune

[1:38:25] is in

[1:38:25] it

[1:38:25] Sterling

[1:38:26] Hayden

[1:38:26] is in

[1:38:26] it

[1:38:26] Elizabeth

[1:38:27] Taylor

[1:38:27] appears

[1:38:28] in

[1:38:28] it

[1:38:28] it's got

[1:38:29] this amazing

[1:38:29] cast

[1:38:30] and it's

[1:38:30] kind of like

[1:38:31] a 70s

[1:38:32] version of

[1:38:33] the

[1:38:33] Manchurian

[1:38:34] Candidate

[1:38:34] but not

[1:38:36] quite

[1:38:36] it's a couple

[1:38:38] tiers down

[1:38:38] from Manchurian

[1:38:39] Candidate

[1:38:39] in terms of

[1:38:40] what it has

[1:38:41] to say

[1:38:42] and kind of

[1:38:42] how well

[1:38:43] it says

[1:38:43] it

[1:38:43] it's

[1:38:45] this

[1:38:45] kind of

[1:38:45] it's

[1:38:46] and not

[1:38:47] whether

[1:38:47] and it's

[1:38:47] kind of

[1:38:48] not sure

[1:38:48] if it's

[1:38:48] a thriller

[1:38:49] or a comedy

[1:38:49] but in a way

[1:38:50] that really

[1:38:50] worked for me

[1:38:51] where Jeff

[1:38:52] Bridges is

[1:38:53] the brother

[1:38:53] of a

[1:38:54] Kennedy type

[1:38:54] president

[1:38:55] who was

[1:38:55] assassinated

[1:38:56] years ago

[1:38:56] and they

[1:38:57] have this

[1:38:58] super rich

[1:38:58] dad

[1:38:58] John

[1:38:59] Houston

[1:38:59] and Jeff

[1:39:01] Bridges

[1:39:01] essentially

[1:39:01] learns that

[1:39:02] it may have

[1:39:03] been a

[1:39:03] conspiracy

[1:39:04] that killed

[1:39:04] his brother

[1:39:04] and that

[1:39:05] the real

[1:39:05] killers

[1:39:06] are out

[1:39:06] there

[1:39:07] and decides

[1:39:07] to go

[1:39:07] on the

[1:39:08] trail

[1:39:08] and

[1:39:09] it

[1:39:10] like

[1:39:10] it's

[1:39:10] the kind

[1:39:11] of movie

[1:39:11] that's

[1:39:11] like

[1:39:11] a little

[1:39:12] tongue

[1:39:12] in cheek

[1:39:12] but then

[1:39:13] suddenly

[1:39:13] a bunch

[1:39:13] of characters

[1:39:14] will just

[1:39:14] get killed

[1:39:15] out of nowhere

[1:39:15] and I

[1:39:17] enjoyed it a lot

[1:39:17] it's far

[1:39:18] from a

[1:39:18] perfect movie

[1:39:19] it's got a lot

[1:39:19] of flaws

[1:39:20] and the ending

[1:39:20] really doesn't

[1:39:21] work

[1:39:21] but it's a fun

[1:39:23] watch

[1:39:23] Winter Kills

[1:39:24] alright

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:25] three

[1:39:26] recommendations

[1:39:27] yeah

[1:39:28] from the

[1:39:29] three original

[1:39:30] bad boys

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:31] Martin Lawrence

[1:39:33] Will Smith

[1:39:33] and Charles

[1:39:34] Manson

[1:39:35] what a

[1:39:36] different

[1:39:37] movie

[1:39:37] so it's

Dan McCoy

[1:39:40] been ten

[1:39:41] years guys

[1:39:41] ten years

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:43] ten amazing

[1:39:44] years

[1:39:45] you know

[1:39:46] so much

[1:39:47] has happened

[1:39:47] in the ten

[1:39:48] years since

[1:39:49] began

[1:39:50] smartphones

[1:39:52] became

[1:39:52] common

[1:39:53] and common

[1:39:55] became one

[1:39:56] of America's

[1:39:56] favorite hip-hop

[1:39:57] stars

[1:39:57] and fidget

[1:39:59] spinners

[1:39:59] spun their

[1:40:00] way into

[1:40:01] our hearts

[1:40:01] meanwhile

[1:40:02] Netflix

[1:40:03] keeps flixing

[1:40:04] along

[1:40:05] nothing but

[1:40:06] net

Dan McCoy

[1:40:06] and

[1:40:08] there's been

[1:40:09] so many

[1:40:09] Spidermans

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:10] oh so many

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:12] Spidermans

[1:40:13] Dan's had

[1:40:14] to uh

[1:40:14] we

[1:40:15] Dan used

[1:40:15] to have to

[1:40:16] order the

[1:40:16] fucking

[1:40:16] movies from

[1:40:17] Netflix

[1:40:18] that's true

[1:40:19] we would have

[1:40:20] to get

[1:40:20] we would have

[1:40:21] to get

[1:40:21] them in the

[1:40:21] mail

[1:40:22] yeah

[1:40:22] it was

[1:40:23] dumb

[1:40:23] I wonder

Dan McCoy

[1:40:25] I wonder

[1:40:26] what it would

[1:40:26] be like

[1:40:27] I wonder

[1:40:28] what it's

[1:40:28] gonna be

[1:40:29] like

[1:40:29] when we

[1:40:30] keep doing

[1:40:32] in the

[1:40:33] future

[1:40:34] the future

[1:40:35] the future

[1:40:36] future

S5

[1:40:38] We'll be right back.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:08] Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:12] Hey, I'm future Stuart Wellington.

[1:41:14] I'm a brain in a jar that was once known as Elliot Kalin.

[1:41:17] Functionally immortal now that I'm a brain in a jar.

[1:41:20] And my consciousness was also double uploaded to Skynet.

[1:41:24] So I'll live forever.

[1:41:25] Oh, that's great.

[1:41:25] In the mind of a T-1000 liquid metal bot.

Stuart Wellington

[1:41:28] Thanks for letting all of our current day listeners understand

[1:41:31] some of the technologies that they deal with on an everyday basis.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:34] Yeah, I don't know why I explained all that,

[1:41:36] because it's pretty well known and fully 70% of the human population

[1:41:39] is now brains in jars uploaded to Skynet.

[1:41:42] But what do we do on this holocast brain box, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:41:46] We watch our own holocasts,

[1:41:51] which are, of course, in this case,

[1:41:54] movies that are beamed directly into our brains.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:56] It's information that the audience probably doesn't need to know,

[1:41:59] but let's continue to explain it,

[1:42:01] as this is how they ingest mass media these days,

[1:42:03] which is right now.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:04] We watch a bad version of that,

[1:42:06] and then we talk about it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:07] Yeah, so they will take their cred stick

[1:42:09] and stick it into their video player,

[1:42:12] which then beams things directly into their brain.

[1:42:14] And their video player usually looks like

[1:42:17] some kind of weird semi-organic blob

[1:42:20] that they have strapped to their wrist.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:21] They have to plug it into the port

[1:42:23] at the base of their neck.

[1:42:24] And, of course, with every vid play

[1:42:26] comes a little bit of a deterioration of the pineal gland.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:31] Yeah, and a little bit of a fluid seepage

[1:42:34] that comes out from their neck port.

[1:42:36] But because movies,

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:38] or holovid sin experiences,

[1:42:40] as they're known now,

[1:42:41] as everyone knows,

[1:42:42] because they live now,

[1:42:44] since they're now,

[1:42:45] at the same time,

[1:42:47] they come double-packed with legal heroin.

[1:42:50] It's addictive,

[1:42:51] and people need them.

Stuart Wellington

[1:42:52] And so...

[1:42:52] Thanks for clarifying to people

[1:42:54] in modern day

[1:42:55] that heroin is addictive.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:58] It's just become such a part of modern life

[1:43:01] that people forget that there was a time...

[1:43:03] They've forgotten that it was addictive.

[1:43:04] When we were kids,

[1:43:05] it was still illegal.

[1:43:06] But, of course,

[1:43:07] now babies are given it by the government

[1:43:09] because the Trump Omnicron

[1:43:12] demands a certain level of sedation

[1:43:14] in the population.

[1:43:16] Now, the holovid sin experience

[1:43:18] that we watched this time

[1:43:19] was, of course,

[1:43:20] the 10th in the reboot

[1:43:22] of the Fast and the Furious series.

[1:43:24] Fast 10 Your Seatbelts.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:27] It's impressive that they chose the same pun

[1:43:29] both times they made a 10th film

[1:43:32] in the franchise.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:33] Now, I find it weird

[1:43:34] that they would,

[1:43:36] even though they're rebooting it,

[1:43:37] they would still use

[1:43:38] the Vin Diesel's head in a jar.

[1:43:40] No offense to you, Elliot,

[1:43:41] as a head in a jar,

[1:43:42] but a brain in a jar, sorry.

[1:43:44] Said rightly.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:45] It's not a full head.

[1:43:46] This isn't Futurama,

[1:43:48] or as it's known now,

[1:43:49] Pastorama.

[1:43:50] I just think it would be strange

[1:43:51] to use a brain...

[1:43:52] Let's not confuse that

[1:43:53] with Pastorama,

[1:43:55] the chain of pasta restaurants

[1:43:57] which is now

[1:43:57] the most popular dining place

[1:43:59] for all humans on the Earth.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:00] It's where I take my Italian brain

[1:44:02] in a jar.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:03] Yeah, because pasta,

[1:44:05] again, as everyone knows,

[1:44:06] is now also double-packed with heroin

[1:44:08] and people just crave it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:09] And by the way,

[1:44:11] just to confirm,

[1:44:12] that heroin is also addictive.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:16] even though it's good

[1:44:17] that they went with

[1:44:18] a nostalgia choice

[1:44:19] with Vin Diesel,

[1:44:20] I feel like a brain in a jar...

[1:44:23] Being limbless

[1:44:24] is not really

[1:44:25] the best driver of cars.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:27] I mean,

[1:44:28] it doesn't really matter

[1:44:29] since cars are,

[1:44:30] as everyone knows,

[1:44:30] now driverless

[1:44:31] and totally autonomous

[1:44:32] and the cars have taken over

[1:44:34] large swaths of the country.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:36] It does make it strange

[1:44:37] that these are the best car drivers

[1:44:39] in the world

[1:44:40] when cars can drive themselves.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:41] Yeah,

[1:44:42] it hurts the premise

[1:44:43] a little bit,

[1:44:43] but that's these crazy

[1:44:44] modern times we live in.

[1:44:45] But is that brain in a jar

[1:44:47] any worse than what they did

[1:44:48] with The Rock,

[1:44:50] who of course,

[1:44:50] we all remember

[1:44:51] in the third movie

[1:44:52] and in real life,

[1:44:53] his brain was placed

[1:44:54] into literally

[1:44:55] a granite reproduction

[1:44:57] of his original body

[1:44:59] from when he was young

[1:45:00] after he atrophied

[1:45:01] from brood sickness,

[1:45:03] you know,

[1:45:03] after the satellite

[1:45:04] crashed into his home.

[1:45:06] But I still never would have

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:07] expected that they would

[1:45:08] take that brain,

[1:45:09] that rock

[1:45:10] that they had inserted

[1:45:11] his brain into

[1:45:11] and then taken that rock

[1:45:13] and stuck that

[1:45:13] into a jar too.

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:15] Yeah,

[1:45:15] it's crazy that it's

[1:45:16] in a giant jar.

[1:45:18] But is that any better?

[1:45:20] I mean,

[1:45:20] it looks a little bit

[1:45:21] like a body.

[1:45:21] Meanwhile,

[1:45:22] you've got

[1:45:23] all these great

[1:45:24] character actors

[1:45:25] in it,

[1:45:26] like Harry Connick Jr.

[1:45:27] Jr.

[1:45:27] and of course,

[1:45:31] Johnny Dick Jr.

[1:45:32] Lewis Gossett Jr.

[1:45:34] and of course,

[1:45:36] Edward James

[1:45:36] all the way

[1:45:37] no longer

[1:45:38] almost.

[1:45:41] They're all,

[1:45:41] it's,

[1:45:42] what I love about it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:45:42] Yeah,

[1:45:42] unlike his great

[1:45:43] grandfather,

[1:45:44] Edward James

[1:45:45] almost.

Elliott Kalan

[1:45:47] And what's great

[1:45:48] is that they're

[1:45:48] continuing the tradition

[1:45:49] of it being a

[1:45:50] multiracial,

[1:45:51] very ethnically

[1:45:53] various movie.

[1:45:54] You've got,

[1:45:55] of course,

[1:45:55] a white person,

[1:45:56] a black person,

[1:45:57] an Asian person,

[1:45:58] a Latina,

[1:45:59] a Martian,

[1:46:00] a Venusian,

[1:46:01] one of those

[1:46:01] sentient octopuses

[1:46:02] from those thermal vents

[1:46:03] that they discovered

[1:46:04] a few years ago.

[1:46:05] There's a robot,

[1:46:06] there's a black robot,

[1:46:07] there's an Asian robot,

[1:46:08] there's a Latina robot,

[1:46:10] there's that one

[1:46:10] Indian robot,

[1:46:11] and there's that

[1:46:11] American Indian robot.

[1:46:13] And then,

[1:46:13] of course,

[1:46:14] there's the space jellyfish

[1:46:15] that they found

[1:46:16] in that thermal vent

[1:46:16] up on Mars.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:17] I like that they

[1:46:18] cast as the

[1:46:19] bad guy

[1:46:20] the

[1:46:21] new version

[1:46:24] of Hector Elizondo,

[1:46:25] Hector Elizandro,

[1:46:27] the Komodo Dragon

[1:46:28] version of Hector Elizondo.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:30] Yeah,

[1:46:30] and you really

[1:46:31] were ahead of the curve

[1:46:32] years ago.

[1:46:32] I was ahead of the curve.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:33] I predicted that

[1:46:34] years ago.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:35] And I don't know

[1:46:35] how many times

[1:46:36] I've apologized to you now,

[1:46:37] but I apologize

[1:46:38] that I ever made fun of it.

[1:46:39] You were just ahead

[1:46:39] of your time.

[1:46:40] Much like, say,

[1:46:41] Ishtar was ahead

[1:46:42] of its time in some ways

[1:46:43] and yet widely reviled.

[1:46:45] Now, of course,

[1:46:46] Ishtar has been recognized

[1:46:47] as a great masterwork

[1:46:48] and is the subject

[1:46:49] of several religions.

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:50] Yeah, did we ever

[1:46:50] review Ishtar

[1:46:52] on this show?

[1:46:53] It's so hard to remember.

[1:46:54] That was so long ago.

[1:46:55] It would seem so silly, right?

[1:46:56] It would be weird

[1:46:57] because it's like...

[1:46:58] We would probably

[1:46:59] have not much to say

[1:47:00] and what we would say

[1:47:01] would sound like gibberish.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:03] Yeah, especially since

[1:47:04] nobody speaks the language

[1:47:05] we spoke back then.

[1:47:06] English.

[1:47:07] Now it's all interlac.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:09] Which, of course,

[1:47:10] you can understand

[1:47:11] because you have that...

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:14] Yeah, you're a modern person

[1:47:15] living in...

[1:47:16] Modern time.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:18] Living in the modern...

[1:47:19] Living in the...

[1:47:20] Dealing with modern problems.

[1:47:21] Living in the enormous

[1:47:22] Dyson sphere

[1:47:23] that Earth has become.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:25] Just going out

[1:47:26] and spending your space bucks

[1:47:27] on whatever space things

[1:47:28] you want.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:29] Yeah, it's weird

[1:47:30] that there's competing

[1:47:31] currencies, credits,

[1:47:32] and space bucks.

[1:47:33] And the conversion rate

[1:47:35] is very different.

[1:47:36] But it's better

[1:47:37] in the end

[1:47:38] than when

[1:47:39] the whole country

[1:47:42] briefly went on

[1:47:43] digital currencies.

[1:47:44] Oh, we all remember that.

[1:47:46] That was terrible.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:47:48] Where we would have to

[1:47:48] trade Digimons for things.

[1:47:50] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:52] It was like

[1:47:52] ten Digimons

[1:47:53] equals one Pokebook.

[1:47:55] That's crazy, right?

[1:47:56] That was crazy.

[1:47:56] Can you imagine that?

[1:47:57] Everyone had to carry around

[1:47:58] wallets of Digimons

[1:47:59] and it was just like

[1:48:00] big sacks.

[1:48:00] Nuts.

[1:48:02] Forget about it.

[1:48:03] But that was at least

[1:48:04] who knows what it is.

[1:48:05] All those ads

Dan McCoy

[1:48:06] advertising for

[1:48:07] Tamagotchi for gold.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:09] Remember those?

[1:48:09] Yeah, yeah.

[1:48:10] That they'd take Tamagotchi.

[1:48:11] And I mean,

[1:48:11] they would just dissect

[1:48:12] the Tamagotchis

[1:48:13] and take those little

[1:48:14] livers out.

[1:48:14] That's right.

[1:48:15] Put them into monkeys

[1:48:16] to make cyber monkeys.

Dan McCoy

[1:48:18] There are all those

[1:48:18] Tamagotchis who would

[1:48:19] wake up in Mexico.

[1:48:21] In baths of ice.

[1:48:22] In baths of ice.

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:23] Yep.

[1:48:23] And they would go

[1:48:24] into the bathroom

[1:48:26] and they'd look in the mirror

[1:48:27] and they would say

[1:48:28] welcome to the wide world

[1:48:30] of Tamagotchi AIDS.

[1:48:32] Wow.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:33] So many urban legends

[1:48:34] were put into that one.

[1:48:36] So many urban legends.

[1:48:39] Well, Dan, I guess.

[1:48:40] Why have you ever heard

Dan McCoy

[1:48:40] about suburban legends, huh?

[1:48:43] Ooh.

[1:48:44] Like, ooh,

[1:48:45] if even future Dan

[1:48:46] is doing the bad jokes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:49] And by future Dan,

[1:48:50] you mean, of course,

[1:48:51] the present Dan.

[1:48:52] Present Dan.

[1:48:54] Oh, well, guys,

[1:48:55] we've had a lot of fun

[1:48:56] talking about Fast

[1:48:57] Ten Year Seatbelts,

[1:48:58] the 10th Fast and the Furious

[1:48:59] reboot, but looking at my watch,

[1:49:01] I see it's about time

[1:49:02] for the scheduled

[1:49:02] nuclear war to take place.

[1:49:04] Oh, and I think I can hear

[1:49:05] the whistling of the warheads,

[1:49:07] so we should probably

[1:49:08] sign off for this episode

[1:49:10] of the Flophouse present.

[1:49:13] All right.

[1:49:14] And for, yeah.

[1:49:15] I was going to say future,

[1:49:16] but of course,

[1:49:17] that would be crazy.

[1:49:18] For the podcast,

[1:49:19] I've been Space Dan McCoy.

[1:49:21] I'm still that future

[1:49:22] Stuart Willington.

[1:49:23] And I'm the brain in a jar

[1:49:25] that was once Elliot Kalin

[1:49:26] with his consciousness

[1:49:26] uploaded to Skynet.

[1:49:28] Good night, everyone.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:35] I'm sure writing spills a lot.

[1:49:37] Look at that

[1:49:38] spilling water on his paper.

[1:49:40] Yeah.

[1:49:40] Check out this guy.

[1:49:42] You got a drinking problem?

[1:49:42] Mr. Spills.

[1:49:44] My drinking problem

[1:49:44] is that

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:45] I'm unable to drink things.

[1:49:50] Call me Crosby,

[1:49:51] Spills,

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:51] Nash,

[1:49:52] and Young.

[1:49:52] Yeah.

[1:49:54] I'm, of course,

[1:49:55] Steven Spills.

[1:50:01] Got some good bloop fodder there, Dan.

[1:50:03] Got some bloop.

[1:50:03] Extra little extra.

[1:50:04] David Crosby.

[1:50:07] Feeling like it right now

[1:50:08] with all this heat.

[1:50:09] So hot out.

[1:50:11] Dan, start the episode.

[1:50:12] We're melting.

[1:50:12] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:14] On this episode,

[1:50:16] we discussed...

[1:50:17] I'll try that again.

[1:50:18] Yeah.

[1:50:18] Say it properly, maybe.

[1:50:21] No, it was great.

[1:50:24] Maximumfun.org

[1:50:25] Comedy and culture.

[1:50:27] Artist owned.

[1:50:28] Listener supported.

Ep. #237 - Ishtar

Chapters

Transcript

In this episode

Description